#yeah theres a few repeated clips

[slinkiezz]

Monty • Blinding

After over a week of working on it I've finally finished it!

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 16]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, dom!seungcheol, oral(fem receiving), a little overstimulation, some hair pulling, dirty talk, possessive!seungcheol makes an appearance, sex toys, seungcheol riskin’ it all in this one 😏😳 yall!!! only 4 more chapters after this 🥺 it’s so crazy, I don’t even remember when I started this series but omg, my longest one yet! 💕 thank you so much for the support on cherry bomb, as always!! I love yall 💕💕 also my god has it been a week 😭 gonna do an inbox roundup tomorrow!💕 But for now, enjoy ch16 and have a good, safe weekend!! 💕🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - x - x - x - x

“Let me get this straight… She asked you if you considered her your girlfriend and you said what?”

Seungcheol grimaces for the third time, brows furrowed when Jeongguk blinks at him incredulously. “I’m sorry, I just---I need to hear it from your lips again, hyung.”

“Ugh, I said ‘sure’, okay!? I got nervous! That was a big fuckin’ question!” Seungcheol tugs at his own hair, groaning as he slams his head down onto the concession stand. “Don’t even get me started on the look she gave me after. I had to sleep next to her, you don’t know how horrible that was after my fuck up.”

Jeongguk pats Seungcheol’s hair; shaking his head as he gently tries to comfort his hyung.

“What did she say afterwards?”

“She just said ‘oh, okay’ and then she changed topics.” Seungcheol lifts his head from the countertop, hair mussed as he stares back at Jeongguk who shoots him a pitiful look.

“And that was it? The two of you went to bed?” Seungcheol nods, “We ate a little and she started talking about work so I thought everything was okay? But the more I think about it the more I’m thinking ‘oh, okay’ isn’t really okay? Listen, I haven’t been in a relationship in a while and the last thing I ever expected out of meeting her was for her to be my girlfriend!”

Jeongguk laughs in return, “I can tell. You’re fuckin’ rusty as hell, hyung.”

“He said what?”

You groan as you pick up another plate. “He said ‘sure’ and then it got awkward. We ate dinner and then went to bed and this morning when he dropped me off, I felt like---weird? I was all shy all of a sudden, maybe even awkward.” Jun helps you clear off the table, taking a couple plates of his own before turning to face you.

“Like, ‘butterflies in my stomach’ kinda shy? Or, like, ‘that wasn’t really the answer I was looking for’ kinda awkward shy?”

Grimacing, you start to wipe down the table as Jun watches. “I’m not even sure. I mean… He didn’t say no, right? But I guess I was just expecting a little more than just ‘sure’. Nothing like, grandiose but… a little more than ‘sure’? It’s like he was replying to me asking if he wanted a piece of chocolate.”

Jun laughs, fingertips on his chin as he thinks of an appropriate response. “He might just be… awkward. I mean, what was the preface of this question? What conversation were you two having?”

Your lips press into a firm line, cheeks hot as Jun stares you down. “Okay… maybe you’re right. I didn’t really… work up to that question. I kinda just… asked it. I mean, you guys were asking about it in the comments too so I just thought--”

“Ah! There’s the problem though. I don’t think hyung was even in the chat at that point. So, just because all of us were talking about it doesn’t mean he knew, y’know? He might’ve just been caught off guard.”

“Ugh... fuck, you’re probably right.”

You and Seungcheol don’t talk about it.

Even though you can feel the tenseness between the two of you during dinner and even when he drops you off and picks you up from work Friday afternoon. It’s all clipped conversations and shy, awkward smiles like the two of you had met for the first time, all over again.

It eventually comes to a head when you’re only an hour away from needing to start your cam show, Friday night, and you realize that you weren’t sure if Seungcheol was going to be part of it or not. “Hey, ‘Cheol?” You ask, voice small as you stare at the back of his head. The male turns from his place on the sofa, eyes wide as saucers at your shy voice.

“Y-yeah?”

“Are you, um, going to cam with me tonight or…? I mean, I can do it alone, I just--I wasn’t sure if you wanted to, tonight.” Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek; he really wanted to talk about it and he didn’t understand why this, out of all the things, was so difficult for him to talk about.

“I--I don’t know. I just, I’m sorry, can I just... apologize first?” He groans as he gets up from the sofa and rounds it until he steps in front of where you sit atop the bed sheets. “It’s been so awkward and I know it’s because of me, so you don’t need to say anything. I just--I should’ve said more than ‘sure’, I was just nervous!” His cheeks burn red; wide eyes avoiding your own as you stare up at him. “I really want you to be my girlfriend, if I didn’t already make that clear. I was just thinking about how I never really expected you to like me that much, much less start a relationship with me, so the first thing that came out of my mouth was just… that. It was dumb, I should’ve said something else, but I think my brain was just mush by then.”

Your own cheeks feel hot at his confession; trying to hide the beaming smile that threatens to paint your features. “No--no, I should apologize a little too. I asked you that out of nowhere and made you panic. I should’ve worked it up better than that too.”

“I guess we’re both a little dumb, huh?” He laughs under his breath as he scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. “We can talk about everything else under the sun but that was just… harder to talk about in the moment.”

“Yeah, but we’re okay now, right? We’re an official c-couple?” You bite your lip, looking up at Seungcheol who seems to be staring off into the distance. A grin finds itself painted on his lips as he meets your shy eyes.

“That’s right, babygirl.”

Seungcheol decides to let you do your cam show alone tonight; watching from the sofa as you get settled on the bed before nodding at him and starting your stream.

“Hey, everyone! Happy Friday!”

The comments and donations flood in as soon as you start and you already hit your donation minimum before you even open your mouth to speak again. It catches you off guard momentarily as your eyes go wide and your lips part in a shocked expression.

“Whoa, that was so fast! We already hit the donation minimum!”

sleepy_wonu has donated $75

sleepy_wonu: your channel has grown so much in the past few weeks im not surprised lol

universe_WZ: yea seriously, i remember when it took us like 30 mins before we hit minimum

artist8hao has donated $75

artist8hao: now theres ppl we’ve never even seen before in the comments lol

angelhan has donated $50

tangerine_kwan has donated $50

“Oh I know! Remember that one cam show where it took me, like, almost an hour to reach minimum? If it weren’t for ‘dom.cheol’ then, I don’t think that one would’ve taken off at all!” You giggle at the memory, eyes momentarily flitting to Seungcheol who smiles back at you.

kitty_junjun: speaking of? No loverboy tonight?

therealchan99: oh yeah i didnt even notice he was gone 😌

chwenon: lmfao

“Ah, he said he wanted to take a break tonight so it’s just me! Hope that’s okay with you guys?” You pout at the camera, fingertips roaming your lingerie clad body as you read off a few more comments. “I’m so used to his hands all over my skin though… He gets me to cum so easily, y’know?”

You pick up a dildo sitting next to you on the bed; bringing the silicone toy to your lips as you moan. “This is the biggest toy I have and it’s not anywhere near the size of his cock...” Wrapping your lips around the tip, you start sucking on the toy, imagining it was Seungcheol’s cock instead when it fills your mouth.

Your eyes flutter shut when you start grinding against the bedsheets underneath you and Seungcheol feels his throat going dry at the way you take more and more of the toy into your mouth until you’re gagging on it. Tears spring to your eyes when you feel your throat constricting around the silicone and you repeat this action a few more times before you’re pulling the toy from your mouth and sputtering to catch your breath.

gentleman_josh95: god youre so fucking pretty choking on cock

alphagyu97 has donated $50

alphagyu97: fuck i know

Setting the toy down, you immediately work to get your lingerie off; tossing it to the side before spreading your legs for the camera. “Mmh, I’m already so wet thinking about this toy filling me up…” You tease yourself with the toy, dragging the tip through your folds and collecting the wetness on it as you mewl.

xcaliburDK: but is it gonna be enough for you?

hoshi_tiger_xx: probably not, we all know the toys arent as good as the real thing lolol

You let out a whimper as you circle your clit with the tip of the toy. “I know… But I really want something inside my pussy…”

Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his sweats at the way your words only sound sweeter to his ears now that the two of you had cleared the air. He bites his lip, palming himself through the material as he watches you from his place on the sofa.

alphagyu97: is ur tight lil cunt ready to take it?

therealchan99: why dont u use your pretty fingers to get yourself ready hmm?

You nod shakily, setting the toy down again before bringing your middle and index fingers to your lips to wet them properly before snaking them down your body. “Ah, my fingers aren’t as big either…” Mumbling, you pinch and tease your clit, moaning out loudly before dragging them down and sinking them into your soaked entrance.

“Fuh--fuck, mmh!” Regretfully, your fingers aren’t as thick or long as Seungcheol’s but you curl and scissor the digits inside of you to prep yourself for the toy.

The sound of your moans and cries mix in with the pinging on your laptop from donations and comments and for once, Seungcheol realizes how weird it is to be on the other side and not with you. Admittedly, he’d gotten quite used to being on cam with you that it seemed awkward to just be doing nothing on the other side of the room.

“Oh, ngh, I--I want the toy n-now…” Mewling, you pull your soaking fingers from inside of your pussy; bringing them to your lips to clean them off of your wetness before grabbing the toy again. You run the silicone through your folds as you get it covered in your slick before positioning it at your entrance and slowly sinking it in.

It was definitely smaller than Seungcheol and didn’t have the same girth, but you still whine and whimper when it fills you up to the base of the toy. “Ngh, feels g-good…”

universe_WZ: i just kno that toy is noy as satisfying as the real thing huh princess?

xcaliburDK: right? Her pretty lil pussy is probably so used to being stretched by a big cock 

You thrust the toy into your pussy, soft cries spilling from your lips as you try to imagine it’s Seungcheol instead. In all honesty, you would’ve wanted him to film with you but you respected his decision to stay on the sidelines for tonight.

“Ah, it--it’s not the s-same… I--I need h-help…” You whine; shaky fingertips still working the dildo in and out of your soaking pussy. 

“P-please, ah… the toy’s not, mmh, enough to make m-me feel good...”

In the time between you picking up the toy and you actually sliding into your wet cunt, Seungcheol internally argues with himself on what to do.

And it’s not until you start begging to the air for more that he mentally says ‘screw it’ and gets up from the sofa.

Your eyes are clamped shut as you try to chase the pleasure and soon you feel the bed dip; confused eyes peering back at Seungcheol who’s entire body, including his head, is in the camera’s shot. “W-wait, you---”

“Me, what? You asked for me, right?” He turns his head, eyes staring directly into the camera as he smirks.

“Hi. I’m her boyfriend. But I think the rest of you know that already, right?”

The comments go wild with Seungcheol’s sudden face reveal, even though you and him are already lost in each other as he grips the base of the dildo and starts pumping it inside of you, angling it as best as he can to graze against your g-spot.

xcaliburDK: i think i need to quit my job tomorrow

chwenon: ??? didnt u just start

angelhan: damn i knew this dude was gonna be hot as hell

kitty_junjun: whoa nice to see ur face

kitty_junjun: i take it u lovebirds made up

xcaliburDK: yea i did but i think ive embarrassed myself enough for one lifetime

xcaliburDK has donated $150

xcaliburDK: for my shame

Your entire body is aflame with Seungcheo’s confidence and you feel the pleasure building up even quicker now that he was here with you. “Ah, f-fuck…” Whining, you bite your lip to prevent yourself from calling out his name; something you were used to by now.

“What’s wrong, baby? Call my name. Let them know who makes you feel this fuckin’ good. Let them know who’s cock you always crave and who’s cock fills you up better than this toy ever fuckin’ could.”

“Fuck, S--Seungcheol!”

Your orgasm hits you out of left field; thighs clamping shut around his arm as he continues to fuck you with the dildo as you ride out your pleasure. He turns to face the camera yet again, winking at it cockily before he turns back to you. “That’s right, baby. Now I’m gonna eat your ‘lil cunt out and make you cum on my tongue while you let the entire world know who gets you this fuckin’ wet.”

He doesn’t give you a second to come down from your high before he’s nudging your thighs apart and sliding the dildo from inside of you. A shaky breath falls from your lips as he readjusts you on the bed; this time giving the camera a side view as you turn your head to face the camera.

The comments and donations continue to flood in, except now it seems like they’re going twice as fast.

xcaliburDK: kjdkjghsdkhg fuck

sleepy_wonu: well can i say at least hes not an old weirdo lol

sleepy_wonu: ❤️

chwenon: im like, pretty sure ive seen this dude come to the convenience store i work at

chwenon: bruh i met a celebrity and i didnt even know it

xcaliburDK: dont even get me started

Seungcheol pries your shaky legs apart before he eases himself down between them. “I want you to be as loud as fuckin’ possible. Understood?” He smiles at you warmly, but his words have a certain edge to them that has you nodding profusely.

“O--okay…”

He wastes no time; skilled tongue flicking at your swollen clit as you jolt and immediately tangle your hands into his hair. “Oh, god, Seungcheol I’m--I’m, ah, sensitive…” He smirks against your skin, noting the way you already start to grind against his tongue despite your words.

Resting your thighs against his shoulders, it allows him to eat you out easier as he flattens his tongue and drags it from your soaking entrance to your clit; alternating the pressure as you whine and whimper above him.

When he notices you trying to keep your noises in, he pulls away slightly, flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue before speaking.

“I thought I told you I wanted to hear you, baby? Don’t get shy on me now.” He smirks, watching as the goosebumps rise on your skin. “In fact, why don’t you tell your lovely viewers how good I make you feel, hmm? Or tell them about the time you made me finger you in the restroom at work ‘cause your ‘lil cunt couldn’t wait.”

xcaliburDK: THE RESTROOM? At woRK?

artist8hao: ah one of the originals huh

gentleman_josh95 has donated $75

gentleman_josh95: for backstory

tangerine_kwan has donated $75

tangerine_kwan: seconded!

You bite your lip when you catch the comments, shy eyes flitting from the screen to Seungcheol who resumes eating you out. Your thighs tremble and threaten to snap shut around his head; body already on the edge of another orgasm. 

“I--S--Seungcheol was at, ah, w-work… and I--I couldn’t wait so--so I made him finger m-me in his work’s restroom…” You whimper, hangs tugging on Seungcheo’s hair harshly when his tongue dips into your entrance. “Fuck, I--I couldn’t stop thinking about, ngh, his--his fingers afterwards e-either… They fit my p-pussy so well…”

A garbled moan floats through the air when Seungcheol’s lips envelope your clit, sucking it into his mouth as your cry out his name.

Your back bows off of the bed, fingertips locked tight into his hair. “Fuck, Seungcheol, please… please…” You grind against him, toes curling against his back when your sensitive body gives into the pleasure and your orgasm washes over you a second time.

Cries of his name are all you can manage when your body goes rigid; head fuzzy when he starts to dip his tongue into your pussy again. He smiles against you, calmly continuing to eat you out as your orgasm continues to wash over you.

kitty_junjun: is it just me or is it nicer to hear her actually calling someones name

artist8hao: honestly i was just thinking that too

artist8hao: its more organic idk  

alphagyu97: ~organic~ ok nerd lol

chwenon has donated $50

therealchan99 has donated $50

When the  overstimulation starts to bite, your soft cries of Seungcheol’s name turn into hurried, jumbled noises and only parts of his name as you squirm and tug on his hair.

“Ah, ‘Cheol it’s, ngh, too--too m-much…!” He drags his tongue against your clit a few more times, relishing in the way you still grind against him. “I c-can’t cum again…” You cry, teeth chattering when he gently laps at your folds and collects your wetness on his tongue.

Seungcheol repeats this a few more times; letting you tug and pull at his hair as he licks you clean.

“Ngh, Seungcheol…”

He finally pulls away, using a hand to pry your fingers from his hair as he smiles at your tired body. “Cute.” Mumbling, he eases your shaky legs from his shoulders before he sits up; lips covered in your wetness as he grins at the camera.

Seungcheol picks out a few comments as he chuckles under his breath; already wondering what work was going to be like on Monday when he had to meet Seokmin. 

universe_WZ: u look like a dude that could fuck someone up 

kitty_junjun: he probably would too

chwenon: come thru the convenience store bro, I'll hook u up 

xcaliburDK: should I quit? be honest

Your tired groans bring his attention back to you; eyes trained on the way your tired eyes threaten to snap shut. 

“Okay, I think I need to go take care of my girlfriend now. It was nice meeting you all, finally.” Seungcheol grins, taking care of your stream before thanking your viewers and ending the stream. 

He turns to you, a genuine and caring smile on his face when your hazy eyes look up at him. 

“Ready for a shower?”

“Ugh, carry me, boyfriend~”

[ezrasarm]

Loving You Too Late

[ day 3 | angstaggedon masterlist ]

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Reader

Word count: 4.6K

Summary: You and Frankie have loved each other for a long time. You’re just a little out of synch.

Warnings: Angst, a tad bit of cheating (more like brief romantic overlap), language, main characters being idiots, oh and theres a funeral too

Credits: A massive thank you to @chaotic-noceur​ and @din-damn-djarin​ for beta reading and listening to me complain about how much of an idiot I am for deciding to write this! I don’t know that I would have finished it without your encouragement and now it’s the longest oneshot in my repertoire!

A/N: “Let’s write oneshots!” we said. “It’ll be fun!” we said. “Just connect the bullet points!” we said… 4.6K words later. Yeah we really have no self control at all do we?

You and Frankie had known one another pretty much all your lives. Your parents both had cottages on the same small lake where you would spend most of your summers. His place was just two doors down from your own so you knew who he was through community events and simply for being the “Morales Kid”. You hadn’t really gotten to know him until one summer when you applied for a job at the general store just across the lake. He was working stocking shelves the same year. You don’t think you’ll ever forget that first shift you shared together. You hadn’t seen him in a couple of years and you could hardly believe the name tag clipped to his shirt labelled “Frankie” when you first set eyes on him. He’d grown up a lot in the meantime. He was taller, his shoulders had broadened and he was more solidly built than the lanky little kid you’d known him as for so long. But the mop of wild chestnut curls on top of his head that he hid under a beat-up and salt-stained truckers cap assured you it was him. 

It was the boredom of day-long shifts in the near-empty store that made the two of you overcome your timid demeanours. It started with you offering him a soda on one of your lunch breaks. That turned into long conversations with one another when your boss was nowhere to be seen, sending goofy looks to each other over the shoulders of unsuspecting customers, and stealing the occasional ice cream from the freezer. Soon just hanging out at work turned into hanging out whenever you got the chance. You peering over his shoulder as he tinkered with boat motors he’d salvaged from the brink of death. Him timing you when you would swim lengths between the neighbour’s dock and your own. Before you knew it you were taking any excuse you could to spend time with one another, until it came to the point where you didn’t even need an excuse at all. Suddenly you and this shy kid with his feet on the ground and his head in the clouds were inseparable.

Of course, Frankie being Frankie didn’t realize what that clenching feeling that rose in his chest every time he set eyes on you was until it wasn’t there anymore. Summer had to come to an end at some point, and with it you two were reluctantly dragged away to your respective ends of the state to finish off school. The almost seven-hour drive between you complicated your usual hangout rituals but you took to calling one another whenever you got the chance. Frankie’s friends would tease him for it but he practically sprinted across the room whenever the phone rang. He had thick skin. He brushed them off when they would hoot or holler and make kissing sounds at the mention of your name. “She’s not my girlfriend.” He would remind them through an irritated roll of his eyes whenever they would ask about you. What he hadn’t realized was that the annoyance he felt towards them wasn’t because of their mocking tone or their rowdy demeanours but because a part of him wished you were.

It was a Friday night after you had ended your call with a heavy yawn and an apology that you had to go to sleep because you were up early that morning. A goofy smile lingered on his face as he flopped back into his bed, that infectious laugh of yours was still ringing in his ears when that feeling washed over him again. The same one that made his stomach flip when you would shoot him a grin from the checkout of the shop. The one that made his blood boil when his friends would joke at him for making you up. The one that made his heart break when the line went dead after you hung up. The one that made his palms sweat and his heart hammer against his ribcage at the mere thought of you. Suddenly it hit him like a freight train all at once. It was too obvious to deny any more. He was completely, absolutely and utterly head over heels for you.

But as school work ramped up and your agenda got fuller and fuller, your calls became fewer and farther in between. A quick ‘hello’, ‘what’s new?’, ‘nothing much’ and a ‘sorry, I gotta go’. There were a few times where he almost let it slip. The conversation would come to a lull and his eyes would fall to his feet. His hand would instinctively come to scratch the back of his neck as he readjusted his grip on the phone. He would even start the sentence. “Listen, uh” Then he’d shake the thought away. As desperate as he had grown to tell you how he felt he couldn’t bring himself to do it over the phone. He needed to see your face. He wanted to lock his gaze onto those beautiful eyes of yours and see your reaction. His skin crawled at the idea of the words tumbling out of his mouth only for you to go silent and that dreaded tone to ring through the line telling him you had hung up. He would tell you this summer, he promised himself. Just a few months. He could hang on that long. 

Which he did. He had a speech planned by the time he watched your car pull up the driveway to the small wooden cabin you called your home every summer. A smile broke across his face as he stood up from the doorstep where he had been waiting to greet you. You came barrelling out of the car the moment it came to a full stop, just about knocking him over with the force you collided to envelop him in a tight hug. 

“Why are you crying, you big baby?” He teased when you pulled away only for him to see your eyes were watery with unshed tears. 

“Because I missed you, you idiot!” You force out a laugh, whacking the visor on his cap lightly so it fell down in over his line of sight before wiping away the damp from around your temples with the heel of your palm.

Frankie’s heart is hammering in his chest when he parts his lips to speak again. He’s got the words on the tip of his tongue when a voice he doesn’t recognize emerges from behind you. “So you’re the famous Frankie I’ve heard so much about!” He feels the smile on his face drop the moment his eyes fall on the stranger in question who has now tucked his arm around your waist. “I’m Mike.” He says, an amiable smile on his face as he extends a free hand to shake. Frankie hesitates a moment, his confession from before still lodged in the back of his throat. He has to choke it down with a curt smile before he accepts the gesture. He’s not sure how long he stands there, politely nodding along to the conversation, his mind elsewhere as you make introductions he’s not ready to hear. You looked so happy together he can’t help but feel out of place. He’s not even sure what words he used to excuse himself as he retreats down the beaten dirt path that leads back to his place. 

He’d never felt his emotions flip on their head so fast he felt he might have vertigo. Yet here he was, his head spinning and the taste of bile bitter on his tongue. He felt like a fool. Wracking his brain for any sign you could’ve given him, any warning that would have told him to stop. Stop loving you as though that were a thing that was within his power to do. He’s got every phone call you had shared since you left playing on repeat in his head but he keeps coming up empty. You gave him nothing. That or he was too selfishly consumed in his own ardency for you that it hadn’t even occurred to him that you might already have your own… for someone else.

“Hey, where were you?” You asked him from where you’d perched yourself on the stretch of dock just in front of the boathouse. His boathouse. Your toes just barely skimmed the surface of the calm water sending ripples across the lake. It had been three days that you hadn’t seen him, a long stretch by your standards. At first, you had simply put it down to him being busy. Maintaining his parent’s property was no small feat and there was no one there to help him yet this season. But the longer you went without a sign of him the more worried you started to get. 

“Had to pick up gas for the boat.” He said, jostling the jerrycan in his grasp and you formed your mouth into an ‘o’ as you nodded in understanding.

“Did it strand you in the middle of the lake again?” You ask a smug grin pulling at the corner of your lip as you recall the time you saw him fruitlessly rowing the old fishing boat against the wind with only one ore and had to go out there and rescue him yourself.

“No,” He scolds you genially as he comes to sit next to you with a heavy sigh. “...not this time.” He adds, causing an affable chuckle, one that made his heart skip a beat in his chest, to escape you. It’s only when he catches himself staring at your up-quirked lips that he has to clear his throat. A pang of guilt that hasn’t quite become custom yet is nagging at the back of his mind as his gaze falls in front of him. 

“Where’s Mike?” He asks hesitantly, not entirely sure he wants an answer to that question yet.

“He left this morning.” You say. He hates that the sombre note to your voice actually gives him an ounce of hope for a moment. “He has to be back in town for work on Monday.”

“Ah, a city boy.” Frankie teases in an attempt to muffle his own disappointment and you jostle him with your shoulder chidingly.

“Hey, lay off.” You laugh softly before your tone shifts and those upturned corners of your mouth drop wistfully. “I thought you’d like him.” You said, quieter now as though you weren’t convinced you wanted him to hear it. 

He hated the way you looked up at him, your eyes blown wide with such expectation. He hated that his opinion mattered and that it wasn’t the one you wanted to hear. Because that was just it. Frankie did like him. Or at least he couldn’t bring himself to hate him. He should like him and yet the mere mention of ‘Mike’ made him want to punch a wall. He’d been hiding away this entire weekend because he could hardly stand the thought of looking you in the eye when he couldn’t tell you the one thing that had been playing in his mind on a loop for months. Yet here you were, forcing his hand and he couldn’t even be mad about it. He was just so desperate to be near you.

“I- yeah.” He clears his throat as his gaze falls to the water, and a pregnant pause fills the air. You purse your lips as it hits you that he’s less enthused about this introduction than you had hoped he would be. “Why didn’t you tell me about him?” He huffs out softly through an obviously feigned attempt at a smile. But the truth was you didn’t know. Or at least you didn’t want to know. You couldn’t figure out why but something in the back of your mind had told you it would hurt him. And with the look on his face as you tried to come up with a decent answer, he was beginning to prove you right. 

“I don’t know.”

You hadn’t intended for it to work out this way. But that just so happened to be the last conversation you had with him. You left for university and the next thing you heard, he had shipped out and joined the army. Perhaps it would have stung a little less had he been the one to tell you, but you had to hear it through your parents when you went home for mid-term break. Everything about the way you left things with him made you sick to your stomach. You had drifted apart from your fair share of friends over the years. It was never easy. It always hurts. But it had never hurt like this. It took you years to find out why.

“Whatever happened to you two?” Margaret, the next-door neighbour who lived just between your cottage and Frankie’s, asked, looking fondly at the scrapbook in her lap. “You were always so cute together.” She added, her voice warbling with what she excused as ‘age’. She had come over briefly to borrow something when you invited her in for a drink and she caught sight of the picture book on the coffee table.

“Who?” You asked, leaning over to take a look at the photo. “Oh, we weren’t… together.” You interjected, feeling childish for the way you avoided the implication that you and Frankie had ever been a couple at all costs. 

“Really?” She asked, leaning back to quirk an eyebrow at you skeptically. “Try telling him that.” She scoffed, plucking another photo from the binder. It was the two of you at the end of your dock. You were flaunting the tiny ass fish you had caught for the camera as though you had just caught that night’s dinner. But what grabbed your attention wasn’t the goofy look on your face, the ridiculous stance you had adopted, or the fish you were holding cautiously at an arm’s length. It was Frankie, his gaze set unflinchingly on you.

“Really, we were just… friends.” You try to explain, but you’re too distracted by the admiring look in his eyes and lopsided grin at his lips to sound entirely convinced by yourself. 

“All I know is that the way he is looking at you,” she says, prodding a shaky finger at the photograph, “is not how friends look at one another.” She concluded before dropping the subject altogether. 

Sure, it had crossed your mind from time to time. The idea of you and Frankie being together wasn’t all too outlandish. You could see how she might have been confused after all. You got along well, you spent a lot of time together, you cared about him deeply and dare you say you even loved him but- 

You loved him. 

The thought had implanted itself in your mind before you could even process it and suddenly you couldn’t believe what you were admitting. Staring down the snapshot of your former self now, all you could do was wonder why the hell you couldn’t have caught on sooner. Why you couldn’t have turned around in that moment, seen him and had it all snap into place before you managed to fuck it up so royally. Why...Why did you have to fuck it up? Your mind snapped back to the night before you left that summer. You hugged him and you could still feel the lurch in your chest, not unlike the one you were experiencing now, from when his grip on you lingered a few moments longer than usual. 

You were scared.

Scared because you had never done this before. You had never been in love or fallen out of it, and you had convinced yourself the only outcome was heartbreak. Scared because if things went south, you would lose not only the person you had ever loved like that but your best friend too and that was too high a price for you to pay. Scared because you didn’t want to hurt him just because you knew you were too afraid to take the leap. 

Turns out you managed to do that anyway. 

So now, as much as you wanted to- as much as your heart bled for you to march down to his place and bang on his front door until he was forced to open up, you knew you were too late. He was stationed god knows where with a whole new life of his own. You probably couldn’t even get a hold of him now if you tried. So you didn’t. Instead you cleared your throat, took a sip of water and asked Margaret if she had any big plans for the summer. 

You thought you had moved on. Which was why you weren’t looking for him when you attended the very same Margaret’s funeral six years later. You weren’t searching for him when you caught sight of a familiar silhouette a couple meters ahead of you and you certainly weren’t trying to grab his attention when you snatched that trucker’s cap off his head on your way into the church for the service. 

“Really? At a funeral? You’re wearing a suit.” You chided as he whipped around, his hand instinctively going to smooth down his hair as his eyes fell on you. He hesitated a moment, his mouth agape as he took you in. Your immediate assumption was that he didn’t want to see you, that perhaps time alone doesn’t heal all wounds and as much as you had hoped this would be easy, as much as you wished you could fall back into old habits as though nothing had happened, you were different people now. It had been twelve years after all. A wave of panic rose in your chest as you tried to fill the silence. “I didn’t think you owned one of those.” You joked. ‘Sure, tease him more. That’ll help’ you cursed yourself but you were relieved when a soft chuckle escaped him.

“No, I uh, I had to borrow it.” He huffed out. He was sure his cheeks were on fire with the heat that had flooded them all of a sudden. He froze the moment he laid eyes on you. He hadn’t done that in years and suddenly he felt himself being reduced to some teenage crush that made his heart stutter and his palms sweat. “Y- You look good.” He remarked, still feeling out of his element in the ill-fitting suit as he watched you, beautiful as ever, toying with the brim of his hat.

“So do you.” You said, biting back the smile that threatened to break across your face. This clearly wasn’t the place. You wound up sitting together for the rest of the ceremony, dropping by the reception for a moment to pay your respects, then inviting him for a drink at the bar just down the street so you could catch up properly. There was a moment’s pause where you thought he might turn you down. He probably had things to get back to in his limited time back in town and who were you to get in the way of that? But instead he shot you a classic Frankie smile, one you hadn’t seen in a long time, and you wound up reliving memories of summers passed in the dingy leather clad booth for hours.

It was as you emptied out into the parking lot. It was late and you both had places to be in the morning. Perhaps you’d had a bit too much to drink or maybe it was just that magnetic pull you always seemed to feel when you were around him. His head was thrown back in laughter over something you had said and his features, aged slightly from the time that had elapsed but still carrying those undefinably ‘Frankie’ qualities you had fallen in love with in the first place, had been outlined in the dull glow of the orange street light a couple meters away. For one glimmering moment you felt as though you had been handed a second chance. The one you had told yourself it wasn’t possible and that even if it were you were too late. But you had lived through that loss. The one that had paralyzed you with fear and self doubt for so long. You had suffered the aftermath and you had missed him so deeply you felt you were missing a part of yourself. And now he was standing right here in front of you. You weren’t about to let him slip through your fingers again.

“Frankie, I loved you.” You blurted out suddenly only to watch the smile that had been plastered to his face drop in the blink of an eye. ‘Well you sure had a funny way of showing it’ was his immediate thought but he was too stunned to get that out.

“You what?” He asked, not because your words hadn’t reached his ears but because he couldn’t seem to make sense of them. He had spent so long thinking you simply weren’t interested in him. That he wasn’t good enough or that he would always be playing second fiddle to someone else. Someone better suited for you, that you actually felt something for.

“I said I-” 

“No, I heard you.” He clarified but the clip to his tone and that look in his eye told you that you had overstepped. That you had just undone all the progress you’d made over the past couple hours. That this time you wouldn’t be able to rebuild the bridges you had just demolished so carelessly. How was it that he was always the one to suffer for your mistakes?

“Frankie I’m sorry, I never meant-” You didn’t even get to finish your sentence before his lips were firmly planted on your own, a hand splayed against the small of your back, pulling you in towards him. You had to grip his upper arm just to keep yourself from toppling over from the sheer momentum of it all. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears and you were sure the alcohol in your veins wasn’t helping the way your head was spinning but something clicked in your mind. It felt so right being in his arms, so comfortable, safe and familiar like this was the only place you were ever meant to be. You had just about gotten over the shock of it all, your muscles relaxing and your hand coming to cradle the nape of his neck when as quickly as they had arrived his lips were gone. He hovered there a moment, his breath, still heavy with fervor, was fanning over your top lip and his eyes were screwed shut tight as though if he opened them you would have disappeared. He just needed a moment longer before the stage set collapsed. Just a second... but it was already too late.

“Fuck,” He muttered more to himself but it made you shift awkwardly on your feet anyways as he pulled away, straightening back up to his full height. You felt much smaller now as you looked up at him. “Fuck, we shouldn’t have- I shouldn’t have done that.” He stammered out suddenly, eyes pleading when all you wanted was for him to do it again.

“Frankie it’s fine, really, I-“ You went to explain, your fingertips reaching out to lace in his own but he flinched away the moment you made contact, his hand retracting as he stepped back to place some distance between you with a clearing of his throat.

“I should- I should go.” He gulped back, an apologetic look flashing over his features once more before he turned to walk away. You had to choke down the sting at the back of your throat, and bite back your quivering lip as you watched him leave. You weren’t quite sure what you had done wrong but any words in protest seem to catch on their way out. You felt powerless to anything but watch it all unfurl. 

You didn’t sleep that night, thoughts still reeling from the events of that evening. You tossed and turned until sunlight poured through your curtains and you were forced to give up. You weren’t ready to admit to yourself that that was it. That you had already screwed up your second chance, your final chance. Before you were even sure of what you were doing you had the number he had given you last night dialed into your phone, the tone ringing out a few too many times before you heard him finally pick up. “Hey, uh, it’s me. Listen, I just wanted to say that I know last-”

“Hello?” But the voice that came out from the other end of the line was not one that you recognized. It was a woman. You stopped dead in your tracks, your words lodging somewhere in the back of your throat.

“Sorry, I must have the wrong number. Is this Frankie Morales’ phone?” You stammered out, your words struggling to catch up with the thoughts spinning through your mind.

“No, this is the right number. He just stepped into the shower.” The mystery woman explained. “Can I take a message for you?”

“No thats- Can I ask who’s speaking?” You asked. You could already feel tears stinging at your eyes as the pieces started to fall into place. Why he pulled away, why he ran off and left you stunned in the parking lot of a small town bar after the best damn kiss of your entire life. The best damn kiss because it was with him...

“Jeanine,” She said and quite suddenly you felt like an idiot. You hadn’t even considered this outcome. That maybe your second chance wasn’t a chance at all. That you were foolish enough to think someone wouldn’t have smartened up and realized how remarkable he was before you.

“Jeanine…” You weren’t even aware you had repeated the name until it had slipped off your tongue, your voice weak and disbelieving. 

“His fiance.” She confirmed. You had to bite your knuckle to hold back the silent sob threatening to pry its way past your lips, white hot tears now breeching your waterline and streaming freely down your cheeks. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to dislike her. She was perfectly polite- probably perfect for him.  

“Right, of course.” You shake your head, attempting to get your breathing back under control before uttering your next words. You wanted to be mad at him for making you the other woman- for letting you become the other woman. For not telling you. But you couldn’t even manage that. It was your own doing. All you had done was rub salt in old wounds and now you were left with the searing evidence. “I’m sorry to bother you. I’ll- I’ll call back later.” You lie before hanging up. The line goes dead and the silence that surrounds you now is deafening as you slump back down onto your bed. 

And that was it. The end of something that never even began. You missed your chance. You were too late and now you were the one who would suffer for it. For knowing what his lips tasted like on your own, knowing the completeness you felt in his arms, and knowing you would never be able to feel it again.

[ angstageddon masterlist | Ezra’s arm masterlist ]

-- angstageddon taglist

@chaoticspaceidiot​  @engineeredfiction​ @pedropascalito​ @dreamgirl-67  @hillarymurray4​ @din-damn-djarin​  @wille-zarr​ @chaotic-noceur​ @oloreaa​ @this-cat-is-dea​ @marydjarin​ @roxypeanut​ @cryptkeepersoul​ @mrschiltoncat​ @agirllovespasta​ @wickedfrsgrl​ @dindisneydjarin​  @opheliaelysia​  @aeryntheofficial​ @adikaofmandalore​ @goldafterglow​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @chibi-liz05​ @scarlettvonsass​ @rpcvliz​ @cinewhore @basura2319​ @theravenreads​ @mxndoscyarika​ @jaime1110​ @f0rever15elf​ @pancakepike​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​

[sp-ud]

have you seen this? https://twitter.com/burner0321/status/1379103348364865536?s=21

the link is a thread from a burner acc about all the questionable/offesive/problematic things sbi has done. while these are totally okay things to be upset about, people arent looking further than the surface for a lot of these things, lemme explain.

the years of the shown techno tweets: 2017, 2017, cropped out, 2017, 2016, 2015. techno is currently 21, and his birthday is, according to the dsmp wiki, june 1st. he would have been 15-18 years old in these tweets. i know some people say "im that age, and i know its wrong" yeah but you're a teen in the year 2021, not 2017. while obviously the stuff he said doesn't change in problematicness over time, the culture around it being okay to joke about or not has.

for wilburs "the nice guy ballad", the song is literally about the nice guy stereotype about those people who think they're great and deserve a woman's affection, while actually being a terrible person. he's also apologized for the antisemitic lines, saying they were too far recently.

there's then a soothouse clip, its not sourced from what video but considering soothouse hasn't uploaded since 2019, the video is from 2019 or further back, refer to my upwards comment about the culture around what kinda jokes are "okay" over the years.

after a deleted tweet from the burner acc theres a thing about tommy joking about wilbur saying slurs that has since been deleted. this joke is common with twitch streamers, about how 'horrible' of people they are off stream. its an 'eh' joke, but considering tommy deleted the tweet, i think he's aware it's not a joke that's okay to make.

philza saying the r slur is from years ago, he hasn't done it since and clearly is no longer the kind of person who thinks its okay to use that kind of language.

the techno joke that's a screenshot from some wiki i assume is from a few months ago. this is one of the things i understand the most being on here, but to me it reads more like him making fun of people who are scared of asians because they're racist. still a rather insentive joke however.

basically, a lot of this stuff isn't reflections of current sbi, and the one thing of tommy's on here is something that he was likely educated on and hasn't repeated since. if they could find more recent proof of these behaviors, i'd actually take this thread into account, but since its all mostly old stuff that i haven't seen repeated, its likely they've learned and regret their past actions.

[hazelenergy]

How I Digitally Paint like a Scenic Artist/Designer

Aka: how I did this and put my degree to good use. 

LONG POST WARNING

Step 1: Research. 

First off, get to your image search. If you are going to be using Google, you may want to type “-pinterest” in the search to eliminate the countless boards. 

I had to figure out clothing that is vaguely late 1800s. I found a multitude of reference images that were fancier clothes- but I wanted to find images of clothing for kindred across all social classes. Photographs from the era and paintings are your friend. They will more accurately showcase what was worn. 

After Fashion research comes location research. The 1890s in America is known for the rapid industrialization. Factories were getting bigger and work days were getting longer. But, I wanted the moonlight to be cascading into the place, illuminating the scene. This means I needed to find a structure that had skylights or let sunlight in. And the best images I found? Slaughterhouses. Fitting, huh?

The same rule for fashion still stands- if you can find photographs or paintings from the era- they’re better. There are tons of places still standing today from the 1800s. But today, they look WAY different. Ya know, Abandoned! So just be sure to take this into consideration if you search “abandoned slaughterhouses” or go trespassing like I did.

Lastly, pose research. Finding the poses for a fight scene can be tedious. So, I enlisted some help from a few fight choreographers and stunt men. You can record their fights and play them back at quarter or half speed. You can also get a mirror and flop on the floor a bunch. I did both. This lets you see the action/motion lines you are going to replicate in the drawing.  Heres how we initially did fina’s pose:

And sometimes you have to go back and get a clean shot. I ended up using this pose for the axe.

Step 2: Set up and Background!

When you open a new file, set it to the dimensions and resolution you want. I was working at 600. Usually, I’m working at 300-350. You can always reduce resolution. Its hard to prevent fuzzy lines if you increase it later. 

I cannot stress the following enough:

You work background to foreground. Big Shapes and areas to little shapes. Work your way forward. What this means is you need to fill in as much space as possible first. Then build your details. I prefer working as follows: Big Solid tones, Soft shadows, Dark Shadows, Highlights, then final blend. Once you finish this, put an overlay on top. This knocks everything back and helps create the illusion of depth. See this at work with the video below or here

Step 3: Figure Drawings + Composition

Utilize that research and images you collected to pose your characters. I create subfolders for each set of figures. Organization is important here. This will help keep you on the right layer and prevent the eternal digital artist struggle of “Fuck that was on the wrong layer!”

Even after you move on to lineart and shading, Keep the sketch layer as a reference. You may need to see what youre original notes/ figures looked like as you do the lineart and shade. Don’t be afraid to move them around and alter the composition rn. You want to be able to make changes. Make notes! Detail light sources! 

I’m about to through out some art jargon:

You want to think about asymmetric balance. The easiest way to achieve this in an eye-pleasing manner is to use the Fibonacci spiral. Yeah. This boi:

Place your figures and actions in a similar sequence to the spiral and the viewer’s eye tends to naturally follow it. This is sometimes called the Golden Ratio in the art world. 

Doesn’t need to be perfectly on the spiral. You can break it- but its an excellent tool to plan how things move in the piece. 

Step 4: Lineart

Once you got things sketched- its time to do the lineart. I’m using clip studio paint’s standard brushes. Nothing fancy. I often switch between the G-pen and the For Effect Liner. Mapping and Turnip are for thicker lines. 

Usually I set these pens to a specific thickness depending on where I’m drawing.

My background figures are lined at 0.05 thickness, the midground is .1 to .2, Fina is .3 and the foreground is .4. I set my stabilization high to help keep my lines smooth. Stabilization 100 means there’s a significant delay between where the pen is and the cursor. I like the stabilization to be at 20 for freehanding and at 50 ish for outlining. Dont become completely reliant on the stabilization though. Good and smooth lineart is drawn from the arm not the wrist. Your range of motion is severely limited if you only move your wrist. Practice moving from your elbow and you’ll be surprised how much smoother your lines get. 

Once I finish lining the figures, I usually go around it with an outline. This does three things: 

1. Solidifies the figure and cleans lineart for paint bucket tool. More on that in the next step.

2. Its a stylistic choice. Helps give it that comic book feel with a heavy outline. 

3. Pushes figures forward or back in the composition. Thicker outline helps denote that a figure is farther forward than another. My background figures have no outline to push them away 

Step 5: Digitally coloring

For each figure you are going to select outside the lineart. 

Create a new layer under the lineart

Invert the selection. Paint bucket. You should now have a solid shape of the figure under the lineart. Do not deselect.

Create a new layer above the one color. Title it solid colors. Paint in thick, solid tones. I like to use the mapping pen and turnip pen to color in my solid tones: skin, clothing, hair, etc.  

After that, deselect. Create a multiply layer if you can. If your program does not have a multiplier function, Pick a tone you want to use for shadows and lower the opacity (usually 30-40% I like to use lavenders or blue tones). It will not be as vibrant, but you can edit it in post. Select off of the solid colors layer. I like to start with skin tones. Use the airbrush tool to create soft shadows. You don’t want to create harsh lines on this layer.

Then repeat this process with harsh lines.  

Then knock it all back with an overlay. If you dont have the ability to create an overlay, you can again drop a solid color and lower the opacity, but you’ll have to mess with the color balance/ brightness/contrast to let all the hard work come through. 

You’re going to repeat this for every single figure. Here’s a few color theory tips though.

Your overlay colors should be darker (not more vibrant) in the foreground and lighter (avoid using pure white) in the background. This helps with the depth of the piece. Things closer tend to be darker (not always true, depends on lighting)

You can choose to use color theory to aid your shadows. Instead of choosing black or grey for shadows, choose a complimentary color. I used a lot of green for this piece, I used red for really dark shadows. Its not that black drains color- its just loses some depth if not used carefully. 

Keep your colors consistent. Helps unify the piece. You can strategically break the consistency to draw focus. For example, Fina is the only figure with a true blue overlay. This helps her stand out from the other figures who have reds and greens. 

Step 6: Touch Ups and Final Renderings

Now comes the most tedious part. If you’re like me, your computer fans have been whirring for the last few hours trying to render this monster of a file. If you havent already,  SAVE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD

These are the last four layers I have for the entire piece. Here, I am trying to create effective and believable lighting. This kind of work I have only been able to achieve in clip studio or photoshop. You can do it with normal layers, but choose your colors CAREFULLY. Stay away from pure white. Carefully utilize your knowledge of light and shadow to create soft highlights. Harsh lines tend to be a stylistic choice for me. The final layer, subtract, dulls out harsh red tones. I used this as a final overlay to help put everyone and everything in the scene. Without it, things are a little too green and skin tones are a little too blushed for vampires.

The challenge here is I want to tone down the red, but not lose the vibrancy of the blood. So, shift it to a blue. This also helped reinforce the “nighttime” effect. Its only a slight change.

Final thoughts:

Whenever you finish something, its important to reflect.

1. I am so FUCKING PROUD OF MYSELF. This is easily one of the most complicated pieces I’ve done in a while- and I’ve made 16′ tall faux stained glass. Brag. Let yourself feel awesome cuz you just made something awesome. 

2. I timed myself on the piece. I could have easily spent another 7 hours on it. But its important to know when to stop messing with it. Partially for budget reasons but also when you get down to the details you can make yourself go insane. Theres also a ton of detail work I lost cuz of overlays or its just too small to notice. Fina’s face? hard to see cuz its not close enough. 

3. I needed to take frequent breaks for this piece. That was good. Resting and stretching was very important. That is one of the reasons why I was able to work so fast. 

4. I started doing more digital art in April 2020. I have to say, practice makes perfect. I practice drawing and digital painting for at least 3 hours a day. 

That discipline has allowed me to improve so rapidly. So- I don’t wanna hear shit about I can’t possibly get this good! Or I couldn’t even draw a stick figure! BULLSHIT. You can. Get yourself some free software like Krita or Autodesk sketchbook and start playing! 

And thats what I got! Thanks for coming with me on this long post! 

[neopuff]

hello, i hope you're having a good day!! i was wondering, do you have any tips for making amvs? like, what programmes you use, how you handle the timing, etc. thank you for all the fun edits you make!!

hi!! sorry for the delay in answering this, i just wanted to take the time to answer it thoroughly and i kept forgetting lol & thank you! i already typed this once and tumblr made it disappear so i apologize if anything i say comes out short ‘cause i’m just trying to remember all that i typed before lol

ok so ill just go through my general editing process in Vegas, i dont know any other program well enough to talk about it at length:

(disclaimer: this is just how i do it, i dont watch tutorials and my editing friends and i don’t watch each other edit often so i would assume that my way is very different from other ways you’ve probably seen! i might even do something in a very stupidly hard way, please feel free to tell me if theres an easier way to do anything lol)

1. Song: So skipping past the “choosing song and ship/character/show” theme, I’ll dive straight into CUTTING THE SONG! I’m not about that Editing The Entire Song life, and neither is most of the editing community anymore, so I cut it up into a shorter thing that I’m better equipped to edit to. I’m just using a random example but here I’ve taken this long ass song and turned it into this:

(the next step just kind of depends on my mood, or ill do both, doesnt matter)

2-A. Subclips: if im making a shorter video or a video where i’m not 100% super familiar with the footage, i will immediately start making subclips using the episodes ive already pulled into the project. if it’s a ship/character that i’ve edited before, i’ll just go to Import->Media from Project and import the subclips i made previously. either way, subclips are there! 

2-B. Sheets: for ships that i know very well/have a lot of footage/im concerned about potentially repeating something, i will go to Google Sheets/Excel and take the lyrics im editing to and put them in column A, separating by pauses in the singing. then i put corresponding footage i think will go well in column B! im often not super specific because i know the beats are gonna be different than i remember, so i usually stick to referencing whole scenes instead of specifics moments. here’s an example:

3. Clip placement: Then I start placing clips down! Below is how I organize my timeline tho I know a lot of editors who put the music on top, this is just how I like it. I also keep a single muted audio layer in between for the video footage’s audio and then I’ll delete that layer when I’m done (or sometimes I don’t, it doesn’t really matter)

I think it’s good to hit the beats as much as possible, it makes for a more dynamic audio-visual experience! In general I try to make my videos so that, if I didn’t add any zooms or typography or coloring, it would still be a good amv. And don’t limit yourself to just one layer, you can have as many layers as you’d like and put clips on top of each other (cookie cutter/changing the layer to dodge or add or screen or whatever) is a good way to mix things up

when I zoom in you can see I’ve got some variety already in my transitions, I know I use that motion-blur-zoom a lot these days but I still try to mix it up and keep my brain invested

4. Typography: After all the clips have been placed (or most of the clips, ofc sometimes I’ll want to add more later) I move on to typography! I’m lazy so the first thing I’ll do it just put down unedited text where I think I’ll want it to go. It just helps me organize myself. Then I’ll pretty up the text afterwards.

Typography isn’t necessary for a good AMV, but really nice typography can really spruce things up. I’ve only very recently gotten confident in my text editing skills, and I just kept watching typography done by editors I really like until I figured out what they were doing. My recommendation is to just KEEP ADDING EFFECTS! Convolution kernel, gaussian blur, mask the text so it appears from angles that the transitions wouldn’t be able to do - of course there’s gotta be a limit for taste, but just add stuff until you like how it looks. Also changing the blending style of the text layer is good, dodge and difference are my go-tos for typography layers.

5. Transitions: I don’t go crazy with transitions, but it’s fun to mess around with them. You don’t want too many crazy/different transitions, you want them to match the mood of the song and the type of beat you’re hitting. I usually ensure that all similar beats in the song have the same transition type on them, bbbbbbut that’s cuz I’m overly obsessed with parallel structure. There’s plenty of fantastic AMVs where they just go ham and do whatever types of transitions they want to in each part of the song and they make it work just fine

(next step, once again, kind of depends on my mood lol)

6-A. Zooms: Time for zooms! I usually just use the pan/crop for zooming, but often I’ll incorporate Sapphire FX BlurMoCurves or NewBlue AutoPan, especially if I’m trying to zoom typography with the footage at the same rate. I try to keep my zooms short and slower, I mean obv it just depends on the song but yeah. There’s a lot of different ways to do zooms so I recommend experimenting and just playing around with different effects

6-B. Zooms...but different: Another way that I’ll do zooms which is definitely pretty different (but this is what I do for crossovers like 95% of the time because I am laaaaaaaaaaazy) is I’ll drag the project into a new project timeline and start editing it there. It’s similar to how After Effects works and it makes it easier to put effects overtop of multiple layers without having to pre-render anything.

So you can see I’ve just pulled in the .VEG file and popped it in the timeline! So this way I can add zooms and transitions without worrying about layers. And if I see a mistake I need to fix, I can just go back into the original .VEG file and edit it, and it’ll be edited when I come back here. So it’s much easier than pre-rendering or trying to do zooms on a lot of layers. To be clear tho, this doesn’t work well if you have a lot of fade transitions, it’s best for sharp transitions and it’s great when you’re using Sapphire FX BlurMoCurves a lot.

7. Overlays: After that I’ll add more typography (or if you didn’t add any earlier, you can add some here overtop of the new project file) that kind of goes on top of everything. And then I’ll add any overlays or objects or whatever else I wanna add! I’m not someone who uses a lot of backgrounds cuz I don’t have a background-creative-brain so I stick to simple overlays at the most.

8. Coloring!!! This is very sad but I only JUST learned a few weeks ago that you can add coloring/effects to your entire video with this button here, so in case anyone else hates watching tutorials as much as I do here’s where I’m talking about:

This shit would’ve made my life so much easier throughout the years lol But alas. Anyway so for coloring there are some effects that are popular for any colorings you’ll find on YT (but you can certainly just download some, Riverdale editors in particular share a lot of really great colorings but you’ll find them anywhere in the live action editing community):

Channel Blend, Color Curves, Color Blend, Color Balance, Convolution Kernel (best for live action footage or footage that isnt very crisp), Color Corrector Secondary

These are all just fun to mess with. Channel Blend in particular is something of a mystery for me, I haven’t studied it fully to understand what I’m doing so I mostly just mess with it randomly until I like what I see lol

9. Render time! First render, anyway. Usually there’ll be some random problem in the footage or something and I’ll have to either go back into the project and fix it OR if I’m feeling particularly sour (or maybe if I’ve rendered like 3-4 times already) I will just take the finished render and manually remove any errors, stretching out the good footage to cover my tracks. You’d be surprised how often I end up doing that lol

And then it’s good to post! I primarily render as .WMV but I also go for .MP4s every once in a while. If I want to upload it to Twitter I’ll do an .MP4 but it’s a new thing for me so I’m still stuck on .WMV mostly.

Anyway I hope this answered your question at least a little bit, I can go into more detail about certain parts of this if you’d like!

[alexandrasavior]

Alexandra Savior AMA !!

COMING IN HOT BITCHES!!!!

Hi Alex! How much of the instrumentation was figured out before heading into the studio? Did you just bring in bare minimum demos and then fleshed them out in the studio? Or did you have most of it prepared and just recorded it? I really loved the album by the way!

Thank you! It was different for each track. A lot of the songs I had full fleshed demos that my band and I had recorded in Portland, and Sam Cohen and I worked around those. Some of the tracks like "But You" I had some Garage band demos I made on my own that we worked around, and some of the tracks like "Soft Currents" were just raw iPhone recordings of me playing and singing, and Sam and I worked out together in the studio.

Your music has some really interesting chord progressions and melodic phrases. To what extent do you consciously apply music theory to your songwriting, and how much just comes naturally from ear and instinct?

To no extent :/ I am not super skilled in music theory, I just play around until it seems like it makes sense to me

You described your desire for Belladonna of Sadness to sound "murderous", and I thought that darkness and dangerous feeling really shone through. What adjectives would you powerfully ascribe to your sophomore album? What tonal differences were important to you while recording?

I like this question! hmmmmmm. “honest"

I'm pretty new to your music, but, everyday I can't stop myself from liking it more. My two current favorite songs are “The Phantom” and “Bad Disease”. I've seen that many people prefer other songs from the album, so that made me think. What is your personal favorite song from your new album? Thanks!

“But You”!

Hypothetical: You’re making a new album and need to assemble your dream band. Anyone dead/alive. Who are you choosing?

My best friend Emma, my boyfriend, Mel, and like my therapist

Is there anything that you do in terms of practice when it comes to vocals/guitar/songwriting to improve yourself? Interested to hear

Try to play everyday

I'd love to know if you've got any cool, hidden talents that you haven't shown in public. Also I badly want to know who's done the cover for both “Saving Grace” and “Crying All the Time”.

ME! I painted them

What are your tips for marketing your music and getting more people to stream/buy your music?

I am lucky because I have a team that guides me through social posts, and a publicist. But don't post pics of your butt

Your music and music videos have so many cinematic elements to them. Does an affinity for film influence your music? If so, do you have some favorite films you can mention?

yes! Bonnie and Clyde, Rosemary's Baby, Don't Look Now, Fargo, Daisies

I've seen a few people comparing your latest work with Lana del Rey's. Do you listen to her? Was she really an inspiration for the record?

I like Lana she's talented, I understand the comparison in some ways , people tend to compare things naturally. But, no she wasn't my personal inspiration in any conscious way

Did you make a conscious effort to distance yourself from the sound of Belladonna of Sadness with this new album?

No, I have gotten mixed feedback some people say its the exact same sound, some say it is different, I just created what came naturally to me and used sounds that I am personally drawn to.

If you were to try to make someone a fan of your music, but could only show them three of your songs, what songs would you show them?

oooooh! hmmmmm. “But You”, “Audeline”, “Crying All The Time”.

Excuse me Ms. Savior - I fell in love with your duet "We're Just Making It Worse" many moons ago. What can you tell us about that song?

Thanks! Well my homie Cameron Avery wrote that tune, he just asked me to sing on it and I was glad to!

What do you think was the biggest difference between writing The Archer and Belladonna of Sadness?

i was alone

What advice would you give to up and coming musicians in the LA scene? Any Dos or Don’ts? Thank you :)

Don’t be gross and creepy! Don't worry about that hipsta shit. Do be nice and make your own shit!

What is the most unusual thing that you do to help you write or to help you get some inspiration?

Stalk all my exes’ new gfs on insta and then eat an entire chocolate cake

Will we ever get to hear your version of “Miracle Aligner”?

probs not

When does the vinyl for The Archer ship? I am hoping to get one of you drawings with mine!

First batch tomorrow 1/17/2020. Second batch Tuesday 1/21/2020. Thank You!

I saw a clip from a concert you gave recently. It was you with a couple of bandmates singing something acapella. What's that song? Is it yours? It was gooorgeous. Any chance you're coming to Barcelona?

"The Oak and The Ash", an old celtic song. I will be playing Sala Nau May 13th!!!!!!!!

Can you talk about the differences in recording your first album while signed to a major label and this album while signed to a indie label? I know you’ve spoken about why you left Columbia, but I was wondering how your personal process differed this time around, especially with different resources and personnel?

Yeah it was a lot less pressure making this record, I had more say and more freedom of expression.

You said in an interview that you wrote the songs for The Archer on piano or guitar and brought them to the studio recorded on your phone. Would you ever consider releasing these as bonus tracks? 

I might ya! They’re probably a lot less interesting than you think

Do you have any tips on how to overcome writers block/find new ways to approach writing ? I've been struggling a bit lately... Have you been reading lately? If so, what books would you recommend ? :)

Just be kind to yourself, do what is natural, don't beat yourself up. I just re-read "My Year of Rest and Relaxation" by Otessa Moshfegh, now I am ready " Conversations With Friends" by Sally Rooney. I would recommend any Joan Didion, also I enjoy Salingers "Nine Stories"

This album feels a lot more personal than the first one. How would you say it compares in relation to how you expressed yourself as an artist?

I was very insecure while writing my first record, and I was co-writing so I used a lot of techniques to shelter my own opinions and feelings, in The Archer it was just me, so it was more of a journal entry than a big fancy record

Which artists did you grow up admiring, and inspired your style? Also, do you have any poetry recommendations, seeing how all your lyrics are poems in their own right?

hmmmm. ok Hilary Duff, Elvis, The White Stripes, Billie Holiday. Poetry: I don’t read much poetry but I like Rimbaud and Sylvia Plath

How did you feel when you found out “Risk” played on True Detective?

I cried

On Belladonna, what inspired the lyrics and melody for “Till You're Mine”? That song is always on repeat in my household.

Thanks! I would say my own insecurities and jealousy towards a specific woman in my life

Do you write the melodies as well as the lyrics or is it a collaborative effort?

For this record I wrote the melodies, lyrics, and chords for every song aside from "The Phantom" which was a collaboration with Sam Cohen.

What inspired you to make this new album?

I just make songs, and each song was inspired by something different, but mostly I needed to show people I WRITE MY SONGS

Do you have plans to sell more merch? I would really love to get my hands on signed stuff or one of your drawings/crafts.

yes workin' on merch now! <3

As a budding songwriter and musician myself is there any advice or wisdom you could pass on when it comes to making a career out of it?

I think writing as much as you can and trying to write honestly is important. I was lucky in a strange string of events that started my career, and every dream is different, but I suppose just keep writing and releasing your songs wherever you can

Often when I listen to music I tend to relate the song to places I've been to or places I'm at while listening. Is it the same for you when you write your songs? Do you think about a specific place for each song?

Yeah totally!

Would you ever be interested in collaborating with another artist on their record?

Yeah! Depends on who, I have always wanted to sing on a rap song.

Collab with Weyes Blood coming anytime soon?

i wish brah

Any tips on staying sane with dating apps?

don’t do dating apps

Romance is a topic which you touch upon in both of your albums. Do you have any words or phrases that have helped you through a difficult time, both in dealing with or exploring relationships past or present, if so what are they? What is your favorite set of lyrics ever, i.e. phrases etc.

"fuck hem he's a deck", "Kathy's Song" Simon and Garfunkel, "I Remember" Molly Drake

Do you use more real life experience or do you use more imagination/creativity when writing lyrics?

Depends how boring my personal life is at the time haha

What's your favorite Beatle, favorite Beatle album and favorite Beatle song?

Georgie boy <333333333

Are there any plans to record/release that “political song” with the violin that you played at Homiefest last year? For a third album maybe? Thanks, loved you since 2015 when I first heard that “Risk” demo for True Detective. The Archer is a masterpiece no bullshit.

maybe! lol

Where is the love for Chicago? How come we haven't had any shows yet?

Give me a break homie I don't plan this stuff! Would love to come to Chicago! It all depends on timing and $$$$

What was the most challenging song to write on this record?

maybe bad disease

Will there be more music videos?

I dont think so :/

I noticed for both of your releases, theres been a decent amount of time.. between when they were recorded and released. Have you found this frustrating more than anything or is it nice to have time to sit with the album?

Well, sometimes it is hard to move on and write more, with so much time between the final touches of the record and the actual release.... But, it ebs and flows and its out now so its no difference to me now

Who are some artists/bands that you personally enjoy listening to?

Jessica Pratt, The Jhamels, Molly Drake

You also seem like a prolific painter, who would you point to as inspiration/muse? My best guess would be Picasso.

Alice Neel 100%

When you feel like you’re stuck when you’re writing a song, what do you do to get around it?

I stop writing for a while, don't force it. Everyone's process is different so I try not to beat myself up too much about it

When Kevin Parker hit reddit someone asked him about if he can upload a new song and he did so... Can we hear a new song ?

If Kevin Parker jumped off a bridge WOULD YOU ?!

Who's your dream musical collab? If you were to make a soundtrack what director would you work with?

dream collab: Snoop Dogg, director: Quentin

Can you say a little bit about the creation of the album art? It's understated but there is definitely a mood there!

my dear friend Dana Trippe took the photos, and my dear friend Aaron Mitchell did the fonts

Noticed your music has a very “old horror movie/spaghetti western” vibe to them. Any films/soundtracks that inform your sound you’d recommend?

ooooh Anything Coen Brothers or Wes Anderson

How much was growing up in Portland an influence on your music?

I would say the rain had a lot to do with my melancholy, but also the music scene in Portland has always been very DIY and rock-based so “ guess that influenced me in some way.

What’s your favorite song of your’s lyrically and your favorite song to perform?

fave lyrically: Bad Disease, fave to perform: But You or Mystery Girl

The whole record was amazing but “Soft Currents” keyboards are really something else, are you planning to write more on the piano?

thank you! yes been writing a lot on the ole ivories

I love how a lot of your songs sound very cinematic - would you like to get into movie music in some capacity? Either scoring or soundtrack?

Awh hell yeuh

Is there a particular song that you're most proud of?

But YOu!

What would you say is your favorite guitar that you own and what is your dream guitar to own?

I am not much of a gear-head though I would love and old nylon string

Do you think that “Risk” will ever be made available on Spotify and Apple Music?

Unfortunately, because it was released on T-Bone Brunette's label, there was a legal situation that made me unable to release it separately. :/

Will you be making more of those amazingly weird embroidered underwear for your new tour? Obvs need some Savior swag on this tush.

I wish! I don’t have a sewing machine anymore but I will be selling my lil boxes online soon

Any chance for a show in Toronto? I'm a big fan, and I introduced my mom to your music and she absolutely loves you (her words) so I'd love to take her to one of your shows

hahah awh <3 None planned at the moment :(

What song on The Archer was a struggle to finish? Or were they all easy?

easy peasy lemon squeezy

Don't want to take away from your latest release (because it is an amazing album) but was there a reason you decided to not work with Alex Turner or James Ford for any of the new songs, writing or producing?

-__-

Since both your albums have been about relationships mostly, would you ever consider making a political song/album? What is your stance on that old debate?

I write what comes naturally to me

What should I name my snail stuffed animal?

gail

Why didn’t you get a proper promotional run from Columbia for Belladonna? It’s an amazing album but I just found out about you through The Archer (which is equally amazing).

I can't really say, but I don’t think I was ever gonna make the kind of $$$ Columbia wanted

Would you like to tour South America at some point in your career?

awh hell yeuh!

Is there any particular era/motive which inspires your music visuals (album covers, music videos)? All the best from Split, Croatia!

70s!

Based on your Spotify stats, what are the countries that listen to you the most?

IDK! France seems to be very supportive

Any artist that you like that you could recommend?

Jessica Pratt, Sudan Archives, Vagabon

What's your favorite thing to draw/paint?

women

Who is your favorite artist / what is your favorite album at the moment, and how would you say this impacted on how The Archer sounds? Also please come to the North of England 😂

I AM!!! CHECK MY TOUR SCHEDULE AND COME BB!! favorite album rn "The Colour Green" by Sibylle Baier

What’s playing in your head now?

the click clacking of a mac keyboard

How do you like your coffee?

a lil bit of almond milk

Will The Archer be getting a cd release?

no :(

That's all folks! Thank for all of the questions, and most of all thank you so much for listening to my songs, it is a dream come true <3 Come see me play at my upcoming shows ! Can't wait to see you there <33333 amour my homies

[free-ilhoon]

bub.. its been 4 years

i remember that day

i had no idea who you were... i had just gotten into kpop like 3 months prior, and i have already heard of shinee at that point but i didnt know you that well.

its actually kinda weird, bcs i already sorta knew the other guys, like i recognized the names, and i knew there was this other guy.. i just didnt know it was you

oh god i remember that day so well

i was sleeping in the big bed in the room that used to belong to my sister before she moved out. i woke up at like 5am by chance, and saw the notification. youngbae posted a photo on instagram, he announced that he and hyorin are getting married. i was so excited and then i quickly fell back to sleep.

when i woke up for real later, it was probably like 1pm at that point, i went on facebook and this friend of mine, a, posted (in hebrew) "there are reports that jjong is dead". bcs it was in hebrew, i had no idea what "jjong" meant, i didnt know exactly how to translate that but there werent many options so i got the correct term to search quickly.

i looked it up and i got the result of "jonghyun, shinee"

"holy shit, is he from shinee??"

i started reading about you a bit, while checking the comments on the post. ppl were commenting like "what" and a responded that her friend in korea told her that

even tho i didnt know you, i was truly hoping that you were okay and this whole thing was just a huge misunderstanding.

a while later, the "BREAKING" notification appeared. i dont remember that exact moment, but i was already way deep in the jjong lore so i of course started crying.

over the course of an hour or two, while you had just died, i went through your entire life. funny moments compilation and music. i saw the she is music video and i remembered that my friend once showed it to me once and i remembered you and the aesthetics of that clip.

i started listening to it nom stop, just in repeat, while my brain kept saying "hes dead... this man just died" over and over again, i couldnt stop crying.

im not sure when they announced it was a suicide, but i think it was almost right away.

the news kept flowing, timelines were flooding.

all the BREAKING and the fan posts, searching your name on twitter... people already started doing group meetings where they released a bunch of white balloons to the sky. or maybe it was the day after, im not sure.

i remember i kept hoping that this was just an awful prank. i thought "maybe he can still be alive?? just check him!"

the whole concept of death is so weird to me. people can endure so much and not die, but a few huffs of smoke can end a person? of course it was actually like that, but shit is weird.

i have never heard of this "method". buying charcoal and heating it on a pan or something, forcing yourself to inhale it as much as you can. i looked it up and apparently its kind of "common" in east asian countries, or maybe specifically in korea?

suicide is weird

theres hanging, gunshot, overdose and sometime wrist slitting. of course yours kinda counts as an overdose, but i never thought about that being a thing even.

i wonder what it was like. what were your last moments like.

for me, when i started swallowing all the pills, i was crying. i didnt plan to cry but i was crying. i thought to myself "youve prepared so much for this, dont quit now". if i were "successful", my passing date wouldve been august 26 2016.

but i super flopped. i wonder how close i were to real danger, but i guess i was far from it. i thought that like 70 pills would be enough...

its not fair dude

basically, i feel so fake

i only got to "know" you when you died. i dont know you irl, youre a celebrity on the other side of the continent. so why did you affect me so much?

i was so broken, i thought about myself and what i did.

i forgot what i wanted to say

oh yeah

i was wondering.. how long have you been planning this for? weeks? months? YEARS???

did you pick a date specifically?

i think maybe you did bcs it was after jinkis and mings bdays. its also exactly a week before christmas but that might be just a coincedence.

theres no point of thinking about this, i mean, trying to guess what you were thinking.

i planned mine for pretty much a year.

i wish suicide wasnt a thing lol

death sucks and shit

i wish i could be there to see your body, the hug you. ive never experienced a death of a close person before. never been to a funeral. only member of my family who died was my grandpa. i wasnt there tho.

for some reason, my brain sometimes tries to say stupid shit

every time theres some varient of a joke\comment about your height, im like "oh yeah hes 170"

then my brain is like "well technically, hes minus 6ft" this is so stupid

im so tired

why did you do that

its so weird bcs shawols and blongers keep talking about you in present term. you still exist, youre just not alive.

bye for now

[sorikkung]

You did an intro to got7 a while ago could you maybe do one for A.C.E.??? They seem like a good group but I'm clueless atm so it would be v helpful!!!

lololol i did an intro to mark from got7 but not got7 as a whole, but yes ofc i will i love my talented bois and i love rambling about them heRE WE G O

an introduction to a.c.e, for dummies (jk ily choice is a great fandom pls join us)

also this is gonna get rlly long so im gonna put it under a cut

A.C.E is a 5-member boygroup under beat interactive!! which is a p small company atm so my boys dont exactly have the high quality living and practice areas and food that they deserve :(( THEYLL GET THERE THO IM SURE OF IT THEYRE LEGENDS

here’s their youtube channel with aaaaall sorts of goodies

i started stanning a.c.e predebut, bc they had a lot of content for a group that hadn’t debuted yet, and it was enough to snatch my attention real quick so you should check that shit out, they did a shitton of AMAZING covers and to get their name out there more, street buskings its a lot but i swear its worth your time theyre so talented!!

also they have matching tracksuits what more could you ask for tbh (as you can see from that vid, they’re literally so fucking extra)

a few of my favs are

this rlly long busking video w girl group songs and just a bit of everything tbh,

THIS amazing remix/cover of kard’s don’t recall by the rap line + this one cute girl,

only THE most iconic playing w fire cover, band version, (I WILL NEVER STOP SCREAMING ABOUT THAT VIDEO HONESTLY I COULD MAKE A POST ON THAT COVER ALONE ISTG) 

their flashlight cover that is enough to make a grown man cry omfuckigngOD it makes me feel things hjskskkh

that ONE TAKE dance cover they did of 3 of taeyangs songs, all focusing on a different member of the dance line

im gonna stop here before i link every damn cover they made

okay so now that thats covered (bad-um-tss) time for…DEBUT

THIs beauty right here is their debut song cactus, which has this really deep meaning to it. bc they came from a small company so they have to work extra hard to even be able to debut let alone be successful and they’re like a cactus bc cacti grow in the desert where there’s very little water but they still manage to stand strong even through the hardest of weather an environment conditions and eventually sprout beautiful flowers,, buuuuuut its also a meme for obvious reasons.

tbh debut era choice culture was just listening to cactus on repeat for days bc it was their only song at the time skjslaas not much has changed tbh LMAO but yes theyre a very edm loving group so their DANCE SKILLS ARE ON POINT SERIOUSLY IVE SEEN FEW GROUPS AS AMAZING AT DANCING AS ACE WOWOW

oh yeah did i mention that their fandom name is choice and that choice are literally the softest fandom my multifandom ass has e v e r been in?? theres literally no cringy or toxic side of the fandom its just so soft and welcoming and pure and everyone is so nice and sweet and friendly and just??? wow i love choice a lot hjkskjsshkhk choice are also SUPER talented too stan talent stan choice

speaking of cringe ace is that group that just like skipped the entire “rlly cringy boygroup debut phase” completely like no weird debut haircuts or outfits or weird lyrics about girls, well actually thats all kinda objective but like they made those outfits work ok and im a cactus isnt that weird of a lyric if you know the deep meaning behind it

aS yOu CaN sEe, cactus era was the era of the tHIGHS and the hot pants. it was literally so iconic it blew up and with great reason too, have you seen those thighs?? AND THEY KNOW IT TOO they even mentioned they chose the hot pants as their style concept and took better care of their legs than their faces. true kings. heres a video of a.c.e talking about the whole hot pants thing and just their legs in general its some quality shit. and heres a video where they decide to show off just how great their thighs are bc they like to kill choices like that, this video is important and iconic bc its where the wowson ship began and also when they declared who the king of thighs were amongst the kings of thighs. definitely a necessary watch for new choice imo. donghun lowkey grinds on the floor at 4:04, you’ve been warned. honestly that video just gets progressively gayer lmao i love it

also for us international choice they made an ENGLISH cover of cactus CAN YOU BELIEVE IT I LOVE THEM SM they didnt have to but they did and oml stan a group who stans you back this hard their english aint that great but theyre trying and i appreciate it so much theyre so amazing look

five months later they dropped their second single, callin’, and b o y was this a stressful comeback, beat had us FOOLEd,, i genuinely thought it was gonna be a flowerboy soft concept yknow with like some sweet lowkey ballad or soft pop song, but nOOooOOOooo, MORE HARDSTYLE EDM not that im complaining callin is a bop but i was TRICKED

LOOK AT THIS SHIT ITS ALL AESTHETIC AND THE CLIP OF THE SONG WAS ALL SOFT I WAS REALLY EXPECTING SMTH SOFT im sorry im still salty that beat tricked me but ITS FINE bc callin is a HELLA BOP like i honestly didnt expect them to top cactus so quickly bc like cactus was hella but they DID and its amazing and heres the link be blessed (warning, these gifs above make it look like a soft vid but there are LOTS of flashing colours and lights and its really intense on the eyes if youre not comfortable with that dont watch, just listen)

they also supplied multiple dance pracs you can find on their channel for callin bc ace feeds us well, although callin had a reaaaally short promotion period bc right after they got thrown onto survival shows for more publicity, but hey, its working!! choice is growing bigger every day and im so proud

donghun, wow and jason all went on yg’s show mixnine, and jun and chan went on the idol rebooting show, the unit. both teams are doing EXTREMELY well on their respective shows!! but ill talk more about that in their individual member profiles bc they havent been put on the same team for anything yet rip

edit: mixnine finished and donghun and jason made the cut for the final group, sehyoon didn’t :(( so dongson will be promoting with the mixnine group for a lil bit!! also chan made it to the unit debut group but jun didnt. im hoping for a sehyjun subunit pls

that was long af but now im gonna dive into the members individually!! so its probs gonna get twice as long sorrynotsorry i warned you

Jun (Park Junhee)

jun is the so-called fiery leader of ace (also lead dancer and lead vocal) but is honestly just a giant dork and a sweetheart. hes the type of guy who you scream at for being dumb and call him an idiot but thats your weird way of expressing your undying love for him?? ask literally any jun stan, they’ll say they hate him. hate him for being so PERFECT like a fucking DISNEY PRINCE he’s the designated prince of the group you know theres always that one member and hes just so LOVEABLE and stupid and skjdakhkjs he fuckign dropped his cake on his birthday when do your faves ever. dad of the group, probably lost the maknaes in the shopping mall about 3 times already. talks a lot, hates aegyo, his members might be planning on sacrificing him to satan? he does on idol class with chan every…i think its wednesday and fans vote who gets punishments n stuff and jun loses every damn time i think hes losing his faith in choice lmao. #saveleaderjun

he’s kinda married to donghun, they’re the parents of ace but donghun might try murder him in his sleep idk man, but now hes on the unit with chan and theyre all cute and you can literally ship everyone with everyone in this group

he has HELLA charisma on stage tho oh my gOd also he has one of the most unique singing voices ive ever heard so its really easy to single out, his face also is the first i learned to tell apart?? he has rlly high cheekbones and a wide but thin smile.

this is actually an ot5 video not just jun but jun’s reaction was by far the most iconic so i have to put it in his section, get you a fave who can FLY lmaooo

it would be CRIMINAL if i didnt solo out jun’s ringa linga cover, thE MOST ICONIC JUN COVER EVER HJFKDSJKFDSJK if i ever stop talking about this assume im dead bc IVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER IT jun in a leather jacket looking all rude and staring at the camera like that im WEAK, SO WEAK, AAAAAAAAHHHH

[ahem] MOVING ON

Donghun (Lee Donghun)

donghun, sometimes romanised as donghoon and often referred to by choice as hun or hoon, is the oldest member of the group and another total sweetheart, honestly ace is just a group of sweethearts, he cares for his members so damn much and is super soft?? but ALSO A s Av Age he’s on mixnine with sehyoon and jason and he SHOT DOWN YG, once again I C O N I C, yg was at a loss for words, heres more receipts of him being savage, i love my sassy boyfriend. BUT HES ALSO A SWEET NOODLE HJKSHJKS oH and did you know that before he joined a.c.e he had no experience in dancing whatsoever and in a year and a half, he caught up with the other four members that have been dancing since they were kids?? I STAN TALENT YALL you’d literally never be able to guess that bc all of them are like on an equal dance level its insane

also he used to have braces during cactus era and it was the softest shit

[cOUGHS] so like did someone say disrespect,,, bc he can do that too,,,,, aAAAAAAAH the duality of this man istg

he’s the main vocalist and has vO C AL S OF AN A N GEL, he has so much soul and emotion in his voice, and has adlibs for days oh my god, he also has the MOST BEAUTIFUL FALSETTO i’ve ever heard, fight me, actually come at me. his voice works REALLY well with chan so they pair him up with him for quite a handful of covers like the all of me one i linked (one of my favs omfg it makes me emo) cause like, his soulful voice plus chan’s higher, sweet voice just sounds so great together i love our main vocals wow.

sPEAKING OF WOW,

Wow (Kim Sehyoon)

his stage name is wow, but its hard to take seriously so the fandom just calls him sehyoon lmfao. it used to be seyoon but when he went on mixnine, he revealed sehyoon was the official romanization so here we are lmao. even if your bias isn’t sehyoon…it’s sehyoon. he’s just that guy ya feel me?? anyways sehyoon is a relatively quiet and reserved guy, but his members really pull out the dork in him, i love it so much?? he doesn’t talk much but when he does all of a.c.e directs their full attention to him to listen, its really sweet, hes pretty awkward with people but you can tell he just feels so safe and comfortable with ace it honestly warms my heart. he’s the main rapper and main dancer, but!! our multitalented man is also a vocalist. yes, you heard, me, the main rapper can sing, and really well at that. (if you scroll up back to the flashlight and dont recall covers, you can see more of his voice.)

gets the least lines, but not by much. although hearing his singing voice in their actual songs has happened like with 2 lines?? so idk man im just waiting for their ballad song that theyre apparently doing for their third song, god im so ready. i love his voice a lot, damn.

he’s also like reeeeeeeeeally gay for jason…the entire fandom ships it and they even ship it themselves. wowson, the otp of ace, they honestly just cant keep their hands off eachother??? i know a friend who struggled to tell apart jun and jason so she just looked at who sehyoon was standing next to and instantly knew it was jason. THEYRE SO CLINGY. i love my squishy boyfriends. 

OHHH BOY…i really could’ve used an even more disrespectful gif than this but that would ruin the surprise of watching it in the actual video!! as you can see, sehyoon is the K I N G of disrespect on stage, that shy lil fluffle bean you see offstage?? GONE. DISAPPEARED. VANISHED. this is why his stage name is wow, sehyoon disappears and you just go wow. choice has dubbed him king of bodyrolls with great reason, he makes every concept into a sexy concept, he just has that intimidatingly sexy aura to him, its incredible. 

now…are you ready….i bet youre not…who am i kidding NOBODY was ready for this shit. on mixnine, sehyoon was picked as leader for one of their stages (i think he was leader for ringa linga too??) and got to choreograph the routine. if you think its already rude 10 seconds in, its all over for you bitches when the lighting goes yellow. i feel the need to repeat, our boy CHOREOGRAPHED THIS. IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA. EVERY. SINGLE. PART. this is the same kid who everyone on the show knew as the shy, quiet, handsome boy. but then. 

but then he did this.

Jason (Kim Byeongkwan)

jason is his stage name that he chose for himself but his real name is byeongkwan, its another case of an idol having a stage name and nobody calling them by it?? i mean most new choice call him jason and i personally switch between the two but most choice seem to call him byeongkwan or bk if theyre extra lazy lmao. memers call him byonk sometimes.

jason is the weird child of the group and we all love him…he’s the second lil ball of sunshine and part ½ of the maknae line. he’s often found clinging to sehyoon or literally any of the members bc he’s an affectionate son who loves cuddles okay?? p r o t e c t   h i m.

he’s also the lead everything. yeah thats really not fair but jason is op ok?? singing, rapping, dancing, visual, like sehyoon he’s the full package, i can hardly call them the rap line they’re just the op line t b h. triple threats.

on their official twt jason likes to confirm wowson a lot, its p great lololol he’s the biggest wowson shipper of all time. want more wowson? i gotchu, here’s one of my absolute fav moments. (ft. junchan/chun)

he has some HELLA CHARISMA on stage like boy can u pls chill. they also love doing his eye makeup with that red makeup and it looks rlly good bc bk has such pretty eagle eyes and its his Look™ and that along with his onstage persona is a DEADLY COMBINATION HDSJKSKSLKJS 

i’m just gonna keep this short; even if your bias isnt byeongkwan, your bias is byeongkwan. he has that affect on everybody. number one bias wrecker out of the fandom t b h apart from sehyoon (he cant be my bias wrecker if he is my bias so im safe :^J)

Chan (Kang Yuchan)

INTRODUCING OUR CHANSHINE, MAIN VOCAL OF ACE, CUTIE MAKNAE CHAN!!!! he always introduces himself as a.c.e’s main vocal cutie maknae chan, its his iconic line and it suits him so well like LOOK AT HIM ISNT HE JUST A FUCKING RAY OF SUNSHINE WHAT A PURE CHILD I MUST PROTECC he’s literally the happy virus y’all AND ACE KNOWS IT TOO heres this one time where donghun even said that looking at chan cheers him up. certified sunshines only, everyone. also watch that whole video its long but its worth your time.

anyways our boy is a main vocal and as mentioned in donghun’s part they harmonize!!! so!! well!! i mean tbh all of ace can harmonize with eachother its the most beautfiul thing but these two are main vocal for a reason okay. if you didn’t already watch it in donghun’s part listen to THIS and have your ears be blessed i cry everytime oh my god skdfhd ALSO THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT ITS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET i want to cry i lvoe chans voice so much i love chan i love kang yuchan og hmylhdg sodf i was gonna say i swear im sehyoon biased but im not istg ace is bias wrecking me 24/7 its been the hardest group to pick a bias in ever im not kidding i cant even

also known as kang RUDE, chan was all innocent sunshine and daisies until out of the blue he decided to give the disrespect king sehyoon a run for his fucking money. NOBODY FUCKING SAW IT COMING WE ALL THOUGHT HE WAS SO PURE AND THEN HE SUDDENLY STARTED FLASHING HIS ABS EVERYWHERE AND GRINDING ON THE FLOOR AND DOING THAT AND WE JUST CANT HANDLE IT i dont know a kang yuchan please save me oh my lord

okay this already has an ungodly amount of links and honestly i could go on, but this should be a good enough kickstart for you!!

stan talent stan a.c.e everyone. welcome to the choice family. its literally the softest and sweetest fandom out there. we welcome you with open arms and lots of cacti!!!

[strangeauthorarchive]

and so, seven pages of text and stuff has been purged and will be rewritten

for my stans....here are the cut pages. ps i still suck at fight scenes

“Before we began our training session, I think we have to lay down a few rules. Rule one: do not kill each other.”

Well, no shit. Nick thought. I want to fight but I'm not that crazy...

“Rule two,” John continued, “The fights will last for ten minutes at the most. Do not under any circumstance try to fight longer than that; it's not good for any of you. Rule three: if someone goes unconscious, training is done. Period. End of discussion. Rule four: try not to go over the line. You don't want to hurt the audience, ok?”

Abieyuwa gave a small smile.

“Rule five: Jackson's inventions are allowed but you must be VERY careful. Like I said, we're training, not trying to kill each other. Chaos is our true eneimes after all, not us. And finally...don't hurt my wife or cat.”

Pancake rolled on Abieyuwa's lap.

“I'll be here to tend any wounds.” Abieyuwa said, “And I'll be sure to give you all water when you're done fighting.”

“You're not particpating?” Akira asked.

“No, I'm a pacifist. I don't resort to violence like this.” she smiled, “Not to worry; I won't be in the way of your fights. Trust me.”

Nick looked at his friends, seeing how they were slowly gearing up. He wondered if using his metal gloves would be a good idea—that thing could break someone's bones with ease. He couldn't imagine hurting his companions like that.

He just needed to be careful. That was one of the rules, after all. He slowly put on the metal gloves and clenched his hands into a fist.

“Are you going to particpate, Mr. Richman?” Adam asked.

“No.” John said, “I'm going to be keeping score, but I'm not going to use my wepons to fight. Using a gun here would be extremly risky; I don't want to shoot any of you, and I don't want to attract Chaos.” He then looked over the others. “So, who's going first?”

Marie flipped her hair and pulled out her hair clip, while Jackson  nervously swung his arm around in preperation. No matter how much Marie and the others were sure things would be fine, the whole idea of fighting against someone with electrict gloves seemed nerve wracking.

“You sure about this?” he asked, “I really, really don't want to accidently electrocute you.”

“I told you, Ill be fine. You worry too much.” Marie said, “Remember to focus and don't get distracted, alright?” she winked and wagged her finger, “Good luck!”

“...So be it.” Jackson got into a fighting stance, “Good luck to you as well, Marie.”

Everyone sat on the other side of the line, watching in antcipation. John held a stopwatch in his left hand, his thumb on the button. He looked over at Jackson and Marie several times.

“Ready?” he asked.

Both of the teens nodded.

“Alright. Begin.”

Once he pressed the button, the fight was on. Jackson charged to Marie, who quickly dodged out of the way. Then, without giving him a chance to recover, wrapped her leg around his arm and flipped him over. Jackson's back slammed onto the grass, and he let out a painful grunt.

Ah, so no wonder Marie wasn't worried. She had a few tricks up her sleeves. But he wasn't going to back down yet; the fight's only started, after all.

With a smirk, he flipped himself back on his feet and decided to do another approach. Reducing the shock of his gloves, he slammed his hands onto Marie's shoulder. While it would shock her, it wouldn't be enough to knock her unconscious. It would hurt like hell though.

And sure enough, the sharp pain went through her, and she grabbed her shoulder.

“Nice one...” she said, gritting her teeth, “You really are a cool inventor, Jackson.”

Jackson took several steps back, then bowed. “Thank you.”

Once the pain had semi subsided, Marie pressed the center of her hair clip, revealing the knives, then threw it. Jackson stepped to the side, watching as the dagger barley missed his cheek. It landed in the grass far away from them.

While Jackson looked at it—wondering why on earth would Marie do something extremly dangerous—he suddenlty felt the wind get knocked out of him. He then realized he was being kicked in his stomach, and now he was being thrown back to the grass, once again letting out a painful grunt.

“Like I told you,” Marie said, smiling sweetly, “Focus, sweetheart.”

No arguing there. Jackson painfully rose to his feet, giving Marie a thumbs up.

“That...was pretty damn smart...” he said, his voice hoarsed, “But...I'm not backing down yet!”

“Didn't expect you to! Now come on; give me more of a challenge!”

“A challenge, huh?” Jackson activated his gloves again, “So be it!”

The two rushed at each other. Marie was about to kick Jackson once again, but he quickly grabbed her leg—another painful but non lethal shock going throug her, and flipped her over his shoulder.

She landed on her feet, though now her right leg hurt like a motherfucker now. Still, no backing down. Trying to ignore the pain, she slamed her hand into Jackson's back. He fell forward, but quickly flipped himself back to his feet.

Once again, they charged at each other. Jackson tried to get it a punch, but Marie ducked down and swiped her leg, making him trip. This was another opportunity, though, as Jackson grabbed her leg and sent another shock through it. Marie then grabbed his hand, rolled him to his back, and started to bend his arm.

Jackson felt extreme pain going through them, as if at any moment, his arm would be ripped off his body. IHe then lifted his free hand and shocked Marie's hip. She let out a pained cry and immediately let go of Jackson's arm. Seeing this opportunity, Jackson grabbed her and flipped her over, her back hitting the grass.

The both of them got up, Marie holding her back. At this point her whole body started to hurt, though not enough to stop her. This was, in fact, the challenge she asked for. With a smirk, she rushed to Jackson, her hands now balled in a fist. Jackson rushed to her as well, and just when they were about to strike each other-

“TIME!”

Hearing this, the both of them stopped abruptly, turning to John. He walked over to the two of them, showing them the time on the watch.

“Time.” he repeated. “Good job, you two! I have to say, it did get a little scary towards the end. I honestly thought you two were going to kill each other.”

Marie giggled. “No, never. I was just trying to get him to fight a little harder.”

John chuckled. “Alright, alright; go to Abieyuwa so she can tend your wounds. Get some water and a snack while you're at it.”

“Yes sir.” Marie and Jackson said, bowing.

With that, the two limped to where the audience was. Jackson glanced nervously at Marie, removing his glove and rubbing the back of his head.

“Sorry for shocking you.” he said.

“Why are you apologizing?” Marie said, “I said give me more of a challenge, and you delivered. Nothing to be sorry about. That was actually kind of fun. Thanks, Jackson.”

Jackson looked down, rubbing the side of his cheek. “I'm...glad you enjoyed it. Oddly enough, I did feel kind of a rush fighting like that.”

Sitting down, they were greeted by an applauding audience.

“Bravo!” Abieyuwa cheered, “I don't think I've seen anything quite like that!”

“That was badass, guys!” Nick said,  slowly taking off his shirt, “And holy shit, Marie! That hair clip thing you did was pretty genius!”

“You guys are amazing!” Adam said.

Marie and Jackson only smiled.

“To be honest, we just went easy on each other.” Jackson said, “If I used my gloves to their full capablilty, she wouldn't be sitting here next to me right now. I had to be extremely careful with these. The same thing should go for your gloves, Nick.”

Nick looked down at his metal gloves. “Trust me; I'm going to make sure Adam fights in one piece.” he looked at at him, smiling, “You about ready?”

“Just about.” Adam said, standing up, “I-I'll try to make sure none of the arrows peirce you, ok?”

As they stepped over the line, Nick stretched his arms, then got into his boxing pose. He still felt sketchy about the idea of fighting his friend, even for training, but all he had to do was not hurt him with the gloves.

“Ready?” John asked.

Both of the boys nodded.

“Begin.”

And with that, the fight was on.

[theres a spoiler part that I kept in so yeah lmao the next part is where chapter eighteen starts]

The arrows were periced into the ground, and the remaining ones barley missed Nick as he dashed away from them.

“Hey!” he called, “Be careful! I don't think you can lessen the pain with those!”

“S-sorry!” Adam called back, “Uh, I-I never trained on a person before and I don't want to hurt you!”

This seemed to be a poorly thought out training session;  Adam had a lethel weapon on him. If any of those got to Nick, he would pretty much be bleeding to death. Wouldn't it have been better to use some sort of test dummy for him? It was far safer than a real human being.

And then something occurred to Nick.

“Use your bow” he yelled.

Adam blinked. “M...my bow? Are you sure?”

“Yeah! Just get ready when I attack! Ok, here I come!”

Nick charged, his hands balled into a fist. Just seconds before he could do any attack, Adam clumisly jumped out of the way and landed on the grass, blocking his fist with his bow. It was then that he realized that Nick suddenly wasn't wearing his metal gloves.

“Decided I didn't need them.” Nick explained, “I'm a boxer at heart, and I know how to fight without gloves. Besides, I couldn't risk hurting you.”

Adam gave a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Now I can step my game up a bit. Like this!”

Without warning, Adam slammed the palm of his hand against Nick's forehead, causing him to give a brief cry of pain and stumble backwards. Adam rose to his feet and gave an apologetic bow.

Nick's response was a smile and a thumbs up. As he rose to his feet, he took several steps back away from his friend and got back into his boxing stance.

Now the real fight could start. This time, it was Adam's turn to charge with his bow, though Nick was able to effortessly dodge it. He was about to deliver a punch, when he realized something:

Adam had suddenly vanished.

One minute he was in front of him, and now he pulled a vanishing act. Just like that. But before he had the chance to wonder just where the hell his friend went, he suddenly felt something on his back, something around his neck, and his body falling backwards.

Ah. So that what that was. How did he not see that coming? It seemed that Adam was far more stragetic than he gives himself credit for.

Nick grabbed Adam's bow and flipped his friend over, making him hit the grass with his back. Adam let out a small yelp, then held his back and rolled over. He then got back up and swung his bow, which was, once again, grabbed by Nick. The two of them stared at each other, neither one of them ready to back down now, neither one of them ready to quit.

Adam then rammed his arm into Nick's stomach, making his friend fall to the ground rather hard. Why did the universe seem to hate his back and his nose? It felt like landing on concrete.

On top of that, now he felt his stomach concave into him. Christ, who told him that his friend was going to be this deadly?

No longer filled with shyness or nervousness, Adam looked down at his friend and pointed the end of his bow at him. It was like being around a totally different person; it was actually scary seeing his friend like this. He actually wondered if he was actually going to kill him. He quickly grabbed Adam's bow and yanked him foreward.

Suddenly, they realized they were now way too close to the face. Nick could feel his cheeks become warm, and Adam could no longer look at his friends directly in his face.

“U-um...” they stuttered.

“Time!” a voice yelled.

John, once again, walked over to the two combatants.  Adam lowered his weapon, and Nick lowered his arms.

“I-I'm sorry!” Adam said, giving another apologetic bow. “I-I didn't mean to hurt you that badly, Nick! Honest!”

Now that was the Adam Nick knew. He chuckled lightly. “Chill, it's fine. I'm sorry for flipping you over.” He put a hand on his shoulder. “You're actually a really good fighter, Adam. Keep it up.”

Adam looked down, his cheeks turning red. “...Thank you.”

John simply smiled, then led his nephew and his friends back to the audience. “I think we're gonna have to do a new method for you, Adam. I mean, with your bow. But that trick you did can be really useful in a fight. As for you nephew...” He patted his back, “Thank you for not using the gloves after all. I know I said inventions were allowed, but I stilll got nervous.”

The impact from his uncle's hand make his already sore back feel even worse, though he tried not to show it. Instead, he forced himself to smile.

“Thanks.” he said through gritted teeth.

It was odd; he never felt such awkardness around Adam before. He had no idea why. Of course, most people would feel weird being that close, but it wasn't like he was uncomfortable. In fact...gah, why did he feel...like this? It was strange.

“Good job, sweetie!” Marie said, giving Adam a high five, “You two were great out there! I'm so proud of you!”

Adam rubbed the back of his head. “Thank you...but I think I went a bit too far.” He rubbed his arm, “N-next time, I'm going to be careful.”

Abieyuwa wasted no time tending to Nick's injruies. Thankfully, it was nothing serious—just small bruises. He stayed as still as he possibly could as she got to work, despite his pain.

Pancake trotted over to Adam and rubbed against him.

“Hey girl...” he said softly, rubbing her chin. “Nice to see you, too.”

Akira lit up another cigeratte, then turned his attention to John. “Not to be a pain in the ass, but I don't think this whole training thing is that much of a good idea.”

John quirked an eyebrow. “How come?”

“See, when I saw these fights, the kids came dangerously close to actually killing each other. I mean, no matter what kind of rules you put down, something can go wrong. No, something will go wrong. Especially when they're using shit like electric gloves, knives, metal gloves, and goddamn arrows! It's a disater waiting to happen!” Akira furrowed his eyebrows, “Didn't you think about that at all when you decided this? Didn't you think about the potentinal harm of doing this?”

John looked down, saying nothing.

[this is where it ends lol]