#yeah the other guys were cool but they refused to dress up as Batman!

[mistress-of-vos]

I'm convinced JeanTim is really comfortable for Tim as a long term relationship (and even as marriage) mainly because Jean-Paul is the one man that doesn't find it weird when Tim asks him to dress up as Batman aka Tim's father.

Tall, handsome, service top and is into Batman roleplay? Tim doesn't think anyone else is getting so many points.

Other men might offer other things (a cult, the bad boy trope, alien d!ck), but Jean-Paul? He's the only one who is actually eager to satisfy Tim's fantasies in bed. JP is the one whispering a soft "Good Robin" on his ear every night, never questioning Tim's kink nor accusing Tim of emotional cheating. No one can compare to such level of comfort & trust ✨❤️

[bloomeng]

I absolutely love Superboys Halloween costume. What costumes do you think the batboys would wear for Halloween?

Oh I’m so glad you asked.

I think as a kid Dick was very typical in that he liked dressing up as things he thought were cool, Robin Hood, pirates, cowboys. One memorable year he tried to convince Bruce to let him go as Robin and for Bruce to go as Batman, and he was unrelenting. Finally they compromised and Dick went as Batman and Bruce went as something vaguely resembling Robin. (He wore a red suit with like a green shirt and yellow tie.) As retribution Dick went as Superman the next year and now that’s his go to costume any year that he doesn’t have a better idea. The last few years he’s been really into pun costumes. Last year he went in a running outfit, then over the top he layered like sewing items and went as “Tailor Swift.” This year he constructed a cardboard chapel and grabbed an oar to be “Chapel Row’in.” Get it… like Chappell Roan. Yeah his family all groaned too. (Credit to Micarah Tewers for those ideas, I’m not nearly that clever)

Jason loved Halloween as a kid. He was really excited by the idea of dressing up as his favorite characters, but none of his favorite characters were things that normal 13 year old boys liked. So it was always like Mr. Darcy or Dr. Frankenstein. And he’d really get into the accuracy of the costumes, totally taking advantage of Bruce’s bank account. Bruce would of course indulge him, though it was usually Alfred helping him put his costumes together. Post-Death Jason stopped dressing up all together. It’s only been recently that he’s been getting back into it. The first year he decided to dress up again he opted for something simple that he thought had plausible deniability as “not a costume.” Dick clocked him immediately.

“Are you dressed as the guy from The Shining?”

“His name is Jack Torrence. How did you get that so fast, you don’t even know his name?”

“Jason, you would never wear flannel voluntarily.”

This year he’s going as a Deep One from “The Shadow Over Innsmouth.”

Tim is the definition of low effort costumes. Most years he doesn’t bother to dress up and when confronted about it he’ll say he’s dressed as “Tony Hawk.” However, he absolutely refuses to be that person who throws on a witch hat or some animal ears. When he does actually dress up it’s usually as someone famous in a specific niche community/field that most people would never know off the top of their head. This year he is going as someone “very obvious;” Magnus Carlsen. (Aka he’s wearing a suit, no tie and carrying around a chess board.)

For his first few Halloween’s with the Waynes Damian just let Alfred choose costumes for him. He had to approve of them, but other than that he claimed to not care, but really he was insecure about picking something for himself. He had limited exposure to pop culture and didn’t really even know his own taste at that point, so Alfred dressing him was safe. Alfred’s picks were nice, if a bit generic, and super biased. One year he went as a prince, another year Sherlock Holmes, really anything Alfred wanted to see on Damian. Around 12 he started feeling comfortable enough to pick for himself. Last year he went as the male lead in his favorite Shoujo manga (I don’t know if the manga he likes in canon has a name). This year Jon talked him into a group costume, so Jon is going as Naruto and Damian is going as Sasuke (the designs from the original series, not Shippuden.)

Duke tends to opt for famous film characters. He prefers costumes that he can build out of normal clothing, but as a kid he totally dressed up in those cheap Spirit Halloween costumes. If Marvel existed in their universe, he would have loved going as Miles Morales’ Spider-Man. Now that he’s a teenager, he’s too embarrassed to go as things he deems dorky. He has toyed with the idea of a MMA related costume, but that’s still too embarrassing for him, so he defaults back to cool movie characters. He’s gone as a lot Quentin Tarantino characters. It started with Jules Winnfield, and it spiraled from there. This year he’s going as Warren from “Hateful Eight.” (Not his favorite Tarantino film but he’s running out of new characters and he thinks his outfit is cool)

You didn’t ask about the girls but I have ideas for them too.

Steph ADORES Halloween and she goes all out. She loves dressing up in costumes that she feels hot in. Not in the “insert costume but sexy” way just things that allow her to dress up nice. When she and Tim were dating she tried to get him to do a couple’s costume with her. The result was a very high effort beautiful Corpse Bride next to the lowest effort Victor you’ve ever seen. She learned her lesson and the next year she dressed Tim herself (he bitched the whole time but admitted he looked good when she was done). They went as Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett. She usually planned their costumes a year in advance, but sadly they broke up before they made it to doing Ichabod Crane and Katrina Van Tassel. Tim awkwardly offered to still do it but she declined. Instead she went as Mary Van Tassel. This year she’s doing something classic, and going as a vampire, complete with Twilight-style sparkles. She’s also a big fan of fake blood and usually tries to incorporate into her costume in some way.

Cass is the wildcard of the family. She always keeps her costume a secret until the night of. As far as themes, her costumes tend to be all over the place. She tends to stay in the generic realm, so less referential, but she mixes it up whether or not she does something scary, or funny, or cool. I do think she tends to prefer costumes that include masks or helmets. I don’t know what they’re called but I have a friend who is really into those like cyberpunk robot helmets, I think she’d love those. However, this year she really mixed it up and decided to go as Ellie from “Last of Us” and roped Bruce into going as Joel. He had no idea who that was, but Cass sharing her Halloween plans prior to Halloween is a big deal, so he agreed immediately.

Babs is also a victim of the low effort Halloween costume. She’s fine throwing on a witch hat and calling it good. When she does dress up the costumes are usually fairly recognizable and comfortable. She likes to dress up as red haired characters like Kim Possible, or that one year she went as Lois Griffin (she thought she was hilarious). Another year she went as Link from Wind Waker specifically, just because she had a lot of green in her closet already. The most effort she ever put into a costume was when she poorly recreated (intentionally) the Discowing suit. This year she’s going as Ellie Sattler from Jurassic Park.

Also not a batboy, but we’ve done the whole family might as well do the Bat himself. When left to his own devices Bruce usually goes as one of two things: The Grey Ghost or James Bond. He basically just cycles between those two costumes every year, unless one of his kids requests something else (that is also reasonable). One year he lost a bet, and he dressed up as Superman and that was memorable. As I mentioned this year he is going as Joel for Cass. He hadn’t seen the show before she asked, and to be honest he’s probably only watched the first episode simply for the costume.

When asked Alfred says he’s dressed as the “Butler who did it” in reference to the murder mystery trope.

[lumosinlove]

Coast To Coast

part vii

Harvard University, 2014

There must have been a greater power taunting him.

“Sexy!” Anderson—forward, number 77, alternate captain—had said in the locker room. “That is this year’s Halloween theme, boys. Bring your girls, bring your booze, bring your minimal clothing, bring your A-game.”

Sexy. That was definitely just what Logan needed for his first OKN house halloween party. His new teammates. In minimal clothing.

He rolled onto his back on his dorm bed with a sigh, continuing to scroll through his phone while he waited for Finn to get out of their shared bathroom.

Finn O’Hara. Harzy, the boys called him. Right wing but didn’t always play that way, number 17, a sophomore. Originally from New York City. Logan’s new roommate.

“It’s how it works, rookie,” Anderson had said. “Baby OKs share. You’ll get your own room eventually.”

Logan was fine having a roommate. He had had one at prep school. He didn’t even care if they were messy, he was sure he was twice as bad. But Finn O’Hara. Red hair, six foot even, brown eyes—bambi, the boys called him. A little on the thinner side, but Logan could tell he could bulk up if he wanted to. Finn O’Hara.

There must have been some greater power taunting him.

“Fuck,” Finn’s voice came from within the bathroom. The door was open, but not enough for Logan to see anything. “My balls are going to hate me.”

Logan snorted. “We wear spandex every other day of the year.”

“Yeah, breathable sports spandex, not this plastic shit. Jesus fuck,” there was a groan. “At least I look alright.”

“Stop staring at yourself and let me get in there.”

“Okay, okay,” Finn said, and Logan watched the door move as he pushed it open.

The universe hated him.

Finn was some sort of gladiator, Logan thought, with nothing on but a red cape that clasped around his neck and shoulders, and a pair of tight, gold underwear that left nothing to Logan’s imagination. They had a fake, foam sword clipped at the hip. He had gold paint on beneath his eyes, streaked like a football player, and a gold laurel crown sitting in his red hair. His pale skin was creamy against the gold and the frame of the dark red cape. He had cheap looking sandals on that went all the way up his strong calves, biting into the muscle a little.

Finn spread his arms, turning in a slow circle. “Look at these fucking things. Who makes these and why?”

Logan swallowed, looking at the gold underwear. “For frat parties, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah,” Finn laughed and then bent over his bed to fold his discarded clothes up. His cape slipped away from his back and Logan sat up abruptly.

“Merde, Harzy, those things are barely holding onto you.”

“I told you, my dick is gonna hate me,” Finn said loudly.

Logan smiled and swiped his party city bag from his dresser. “Souhaite moi bonne chance.”

“Swat bon,” Finn rolled his eyes.

Logan laughed and slipped into the bathroom. He could hear Finn putting some music on as he undressed, singing along softly under his breath. Logan gave himself a moment to close his eyes and breathe, fingering his necklace. He’d known Finn for a little over two months. That was it. And already he liked him in the morning. He liked him drunk off his ass. He liked him on the rare lazy day, still under his covers reading a book and wearing his glasses. His glasses. Dark tortoise shell things that turned amber in the sunlight, like his eyes, and just—fuck. He liked Finn on the ice and like it when they were on the same line, something that was happening more and more frequently. He liked Finn, and Finn seemed to like him well enough, and Coach liked them together. The found each other on the ice every time. Logan had never had that before.

Logan rubbed his hands over his face and then reached into the plastic bag for his costume—if he could call it that. A black cape, clasped by the yellow and black Batman symbol, the iconic mask that covered his eyes, and what could only be called underwear. They were black and shiny, with the bat symbol on the ass.

“Merde,” Logan breathed once he squeezed his thighs into the shorts. It was—obscene. He wasn’t hung like some of the guys he’d seen but this certainly made it look like he was. His cock pressed against the fabric as insistently as his ass did. He turned around and looked at the yellow symbol there and was glad that the cape would be covering at least some of it.

“Ready?” Finn said when thumping music started up downstairs meaning people were starting to arrive.

Logan looked out the small bathroom window and towards the dark driveway. Cars were lining up. People were getting out in bikinis and corsets, speedos and stockings.

“Uh, yeah,” Logan said. “One second.”

He looked at himself in the mirror and laughed a little before spinning the bat mask once, and placing it over his head. His hair curled out from under it, and the black frame made his eyes look a little startling.

He looked—not bad. If he was looking to pick up tonight—which he hadn’t done yet at Harvard—he probably could. He turned and looked at his abs, defined from the rigorous pre-season training. He looked good. He pushed away the wish that Finn would notice.

“I’m ready,” Logan said and stepped into the weird plush boots that had come with the costume. He pushed his way out of the bathroom. “Sounds like people are here.”

Finn looked up from his phone, legs spread in a way that was doing Logan zero favors. “Yeah, I—”

Finn’s stare was one Logan had felt before. Spotting him in the weight room, checking each other during drills. Two months of that look that Logan refused to think about. But that was a hard thing, when he had nothing to do but look right into it.

Finn stood abruptly, taller, gold paint reflecting into his eyes and making them light like syrup.

“What’s your,” Finn swallowed. “Tattoo. Necklace. I’ve never asked.”

“Oh,” Logan looked down at his hip. “It’s a fleur-de-lis. Sort of a family thing. Me and my sisters have them in different places.”

“How many sisters do you have?”

“Three. They’re older than I am.”

“Fleur-de-lis,” Finn repeated softly, eyes on the tattoo. He swallowed again and then looked away. “Sick. Should we go?”

“Yeah,” Logan said. “Yeah, I need a drink if I gotta wear this thing all night.”

Finn laughed. “Uh-huh. Me, too.”

Logan lasted about an hour before he couldn’t stand his mask anymore. He left it on a table somewhere, pushing his sweaty hair off of his forehead and wishing for a hat. He’d have to settle for something cool to drink instead.

OKN house had the back door open into the chilly yard and porch. The living room had a drinks table set up, one of those plastic fold out ones that they used at rush and club fairs, beside the great oak dining table that no one actually used except, well, Finn. Finn who planned his essays at this table until it was way too late and he snuck up to the room, trying to be quiet for Logan. Logan, who stayed up just to see him go about his routine and fall into bed. Logan, pretending he was a part of that routine.

Logan might have had a Finn problem. A two-month long Finn problem. A Finn-in-glasses problem. A Finn-dressed-as-a-gladiator problem. A Finn-in-his-red-Harvard-jersey problem with his rough skating and sharp shots.

A Finn over in the corner problem, talking to a girl. Problem.

Logan turned to the drink table and desperately looked for the rum.

Logan was allowed to have a Finn problem. Logan just couldn’t have a Finn…anything else. Finn-wet-dreams, in which he woke up with a gasp, sweating against his sheets and only needing to shove his hand into his pajama pants where he was red and swollen in his own hand, barely touching himself before he was shooting into his fist, eyes resolutely away from the bed across from him. Finn-bringing-him-breakfast, not that he could make more than burnt toast, before he drove them to the rink. Finn-laughing-with-him, like a best friend that Logan had never actually had. There were teammates, and then there were friends.

Finn was a friend. Logan could have a Finn problem, a Finn secret, and a friend.

He just couldn’t have Finn.

The rum was no where to be seen. A shoulder bumped his.

“Hey, rookie,” Finn smiled. “What you looking for?”

Finn’s crown was lopsided, like some sort of halo in an old painting. Like someone had been messing with it. Logan looked for the girl, but she was gone.

“Rum,” Logan said.

Finn did a quick survey of the table and found the bottle easily, unstoppering it and reaching over to pour a healthy amount into Logan’s waiting cup.

“Coke, right?”

Logan nodded.

A Finn-knowing-his-drink-problem.

Finn made himself one, too, and held his cup out for a cheers with a smile. Logan smiled back, clicking their plastic cups together.

“Lost your mask somewhere, Batman. Now the whole world knows your secret.”

Logan laughed tightly and raised his cup to his mouth. “I can’t have that.”

Finn tilted his head, chewing a little on the rim of his cup before taking a drink. He cleared his throat. “You been to the roof yet?”

“Non,” Logan shook his head.

“Wanna? It’s a kinda cool view of campus.”

Logan tried to smile over the hammering in his blood. “That girl didn’t wanna join you?”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Come on.” He pushed off the table and was disappearing into the crowd quickly. Logan squeezed through bodies to follow.

~

“I found the picture,” Finn shouted. “Nut—fuck, is he still at the store?”

“Oui,” Logan said, filling up a glass of water from the sink. “Did you really find it? Let me see.”

Logan padded over to where Finn was sprawled on the couch and set his glass down before crouching near Finn’s head to see his phone.

“Oh God,” Logan laughed, ducking against Finn’s shoulder.

“Are you kidding? Lo, you look incredible. Fuck me, look at your legs. And you’re bigger now, like Jesus Christ… Ugh.”

Finn swiped his thumb lightly over where Logan’s tattoo was shown on his hip, just above the ridiculous yellow belt.

“This thing used to drive me crazy,” he said softly. “I mean, it still does, but…fuck.”

Finn used to have fantasies, while wishing for Logan, all of which had been very carefully kept faceless. Until this tattoo would make an appearance and ruin it all—and make him come immediately. It was ingrained in his subconscious as a Logan thing, one moment he would be touching himself in the shower, letting his mind wander quietly towards a hard chest against his, a large hand around his dick instead of his own. Faceless. He’d take the boy and press him against the wall of the shower maybe, do whatever he wanted him to do, kiss his neck, rut their cocks together, maybe he would moan Finn’s name—

Logan’s voice. The hip he had his fingers wrapped around was darkly inked, and tanned.

“Mon rouge,” Logan’s voice—really his voice—came through. Finn looked up at the touch of fingers through his hair. “Where did you go?”

Finn looked at Logan and took a slow breath. He was so familiar. He had been right there for so long, but it was only now that he was close.

“That was…” Finn swallowed. “Kind of a hard night.”

Logan’s brows drew together, and he nodded minutely after a moment. “We’ve had a few hard nights, non?”

Finn looked back at his phone, and then Logan was taking it out of his hand, clicking it off, and setting it on the coffee table. Finn sat up a little as Logan climbed into his lap, knees pressed to his hips. Finn ran his hands over his shoulders, then up beneath his sweatshirt to his broad back. He was bigger now. Stronger.

Logan pressed his fingers through Finn’s hair again and then a kiss to his jaw, one side, and then the other, his cheeks, and then his mouth.

“They lead us here,” Logan said softly. “The hard nights.”

Finn’s throat felt tight. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck. I know. I know they did.”

“Let me show you it’s easier now,” Logan said. “D’accord? Harzy, let me.”

“Lo,” Finn rasped out. He ran his thumb over where he knew the tattoo was, had memorized it quickly, would kiss it endlessly.

“You work hard for everyone,” Logan said the words into another kiss. “You worked hard trying to make me not be afraid, even when I was horrible and terrified.” He kissed down Finn’s throat and Finn’s mouth dropped open. “Even when you were terrified, even when I hurt you. Let me. Finn…”

Finn let out a breath, eyes opening to the ceiling, then to Logan’s when he brought their mouths back together.

"Let me.”

“I took you to the roof,” Finn gasped as Logan pressed against him, warm and real. “I don’t know what I was expecting, I…fuck, we barely knew each other.”

“Do you have any idea how much I wanted you,” Logan said. “Lean up for a sec.”

Finn let Logan pull his t-shirt off of him, let him press wet kisses to his neck and shoulders. It felt good, but part of him itched to flip them, to make Logan feel good. Kiss down his chest, kiss that tattoo.

“Relax,” Logan laughed softly, easing Finn back against the cushions. “You have to let me love you. I need it, Finn. I need to.”

Finn’s cock began to fatten up at that. He let his head fall back. “Lo…”

Logan reached behind him to yank his sweatshirt off and—and there he was. Real.

Finn pressed his palms against his chest, his stomach, feeling the hard curves of his muscles. Logan pressed his hands over Finn’s, bringing them to touch his neck, his pecs. “Let me take care of you for once. Rest and let me.”

Logan leaned down for another, soft kiss and then was swinging off of the couch. His cock was a soft outline in his sweatpants. “Allez.”

Logan pulled Finn up and Finn couldn’t help but back him against the nearest wall, just for a moment, thumb back against the fleur-de-lis, lips harsh against his jaw, just the way he knew Logan liked.

Logan let out a laugh that cut off in a moan. “Non, non—”

Finn pulled back and Logan’s smile made him smile. Logan was flushed and his neck was red from Finn’s mouth. Finn sucked a bruise on top of the blush on the side of his throat, and Logan’s short nails pressed into Finn’s back. Finn reached down and cupped Logan’s cock within his sweatpants, feeling the heat of it through the fabric.

“Non, non, non, allez,” Logan was still half laughing, walking Finn backwards towards his bedroom. “Je prends soin de toi. I’m taking care of you.”

“But I like making you come,” Finn grinned, only just managing to give Logan’s ass a squeeze before Logan pushed him back onto the bed. He bounced a little, pushing himself against the pillows before tapping his thighs. “C’mere, baby.”

Logan shucked his sweatpants off, followed by his socks, and then it was just him, bare and standing there in front of Finn. Finn swore softly and reached down to palm himself.

“Non,” Logan shook his head and knelt on the bed, cock standing out and wet. The sight only made Finn give himself another squeeze. Logan was straddling his hips then, snatching his hands and moving them to his waist. Finn wrapped his arms all the way around Logan, bringing their bare chests together.

He kissed him hard. “Gonna take my pants off, too? Can’t do much like this.”

Logan scoffed and hit the side of Finn’s head lightly, making Finn laugh. But he obliged, coaxing Finn to lift his hips so he could pull his sweatpants away. He leant to kiss the newly exposed skin, mouth soft against Finn’s hips and stomach, hand wrapping around his cock. Finn let out a slow breath and tangled his fingers in Logan’s hair.

He wasn’t expecting it when Logan sucked the head of his cock into his mouth. Logan hadn’t done that yet. He made Finn sit up, abs tightening.

“Tremz,” he panted out a breath. “Oh fuck.”

Leo had been wanting and loving about going down on Finn. It had practically broken Finn’s brain, seeing him there, blue eyes open with his mouth full of his cock. They’d laughed and kissed sending those videos to Logan. It was unbearably hot, thinking of Logan, seeing them, wanting them.

This was entirely different. It was different with both of them. With everything.

Leo and Finn liked to read together, swapping favorite passages. Logan didn’t read much, but he liked to be read to. Finn had always known that, had done it a million times back at Harvard. But now he knew that Logan liked to lay on Finn’s chest while he read, aloud or to himself, and fall straight asleep. He’d always fallen asleep to Finn’s voice. But now he was a weight on top of Finn, breathing softly against his neck and Finn just…

Logan’s mouth was soft, too, tongue pressing against the head of his cock.

Finn loved him.

“Lo, Lo, Lo…” Finn panted. “Fuck, baby.”

Logan just hummed and sucked down further for a moment before popping off and smiling a sweet smile. “Did it with Leo.”

Finn huffed out a laugh, throbbing at the image. “I should be no fucking problem, then.”

Logan laughed, too. “I hope he comes home soon.”

“Me, too,” Finn said. He wanted him with them.

“I guess I know a way to pass the time until he comes back.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Logan smiled and rolled onto his back, producing lube from Finn didn’t know where. He spread his thighs. “Love it when Knutty does this, the fucking splits.”

Finn leaned forward, running his hands down Logan’s smooth skin. “Yeah. I didn’t even think about how goalies do that until him.”

Finn watched Logan’s face as he slipped two fingers into himself.

“Baby,” Finn said softly. “Let me.”

“Non, you watch.”

Finn sat up further, hand going to his cock—

“Don’t,” Logan panted, head against the bedspread as he worked himself. “Watch.”

Finn sighed and took Logan’s thighs back in his hands and kissed the inside of his knee. There was a little scar there from a night that happened a long time ago. Finn remembered.

Logan laughed breathlessly. “You can’t help yourself.”

“I love you so much.”

Logan’s breathing hitched, green eyes hazy. “Finn…”

Finn kissed it again, and then the other one, and then his thighs. He sucked kisses into the skin, bringing purple to the surface. Logan was marked by the time he sat up.

He was quiet as he pressed Finn back against the pillows. He wet his lips.

“Lo, what—”

“Why do you have your socks on, you weirdo,” Logan said as he swung a leg over Finn’s thighs. Finn’s cock nudged his entrance, and Logan gasped, cutting himself off.

He leaned down and captured Finn’s mouth in a needy kiss and reached behind himself to line Finn up. It was only then that Finn realized—Logan was going to—

Logan’s thighs were firm beneath Finn’s hands as he sunk down on him. Finn’s mouth dropped open at the feeling, of Logan in complete control. It wasn’t like fucking him at all, it was Logan, above him, head tilted back with the feeling of Finn filling him up.

“Finn,” Logan’s voice was more whine than anything else. “Finn, Finn, Finn—“

And he was seated, their hips together, Logan’s cock drooling between them.

“Holy shit,” Finn could barely breathe in. “Holy fucking shit, Lo.”

Logan got his knees under him and pushed himself up before sinking down again. Finn clutched Logan’s hips as all the breath seemed to punch out of Logan’s lungs. He did it again, and again, landing hard with each thrust, completely gone with fucking himself on Finn’s cock. Finn was mesmerized with the wide expanse of tan skin he had to kiss, Logan’s collarbones and shoulders, tongue running over his nipples as Logan’s thighs worked around him.

Logan shifted his hips and pitched forward into Finn’s chest with a curse, burrowing his face in Finn’s neck as he rolled his hips forward in small, sharp motions, hitting that spot inside him again and again.

“There you go, baby,” Finn said, wrapping his arms under Logan’s and around his broad shoulders. He pushed up in time with Logan, making Logan practically shout. “Be as loud as you want, there you go.”

“Finn,” Logan just kept saying, slipping a few times and saying Leo’s name instead. It made Finn all the hotter to think that Logan was imagining Leo there with them, sitting beside them on the bed, maybe working Logan’s cock into his mouth.

Logan’s breathing hitched up and he tightened his arms around Finn’s neck, fingers gripping his hair to pull Finn back for a sloppy kiss as he started to raise his hips again, skin slapping down against Finn’s. He worked until Finn was sure his thighs had to be burning, no matter how toned they were. Finn was going to lose his fucking mind.

“What,” a voice came from the doorway.

Finn looked up to the side to see Leo standing there, keys in his hand.

“Leo,” Logan gasped, and reached a hand out while rocking himself down on Finn’s dick.

Leo walked forward slowly towards the bed and took Logan’s hand like he was in a daze, staring at their naked bodies, slick with sweat by now. Logan yanked him forward and started undoing his belt.

“Hi, Peanut,” Finn panted, head falling back again as Logan rocked against him harder. “Store was—good?”

“I…” Leo was staring at where Logan was wrapping an arm around his waist now, leaning forward to press sloppy kisses over where Leo’s cock was quickly filling in his underwear.

“Knutty,” Logan said, before getting his fingers under the band of Leo’s boxers and pulling down so that Leo’s cock fell out. Leo laced his fingers into Logan’s hair, a laugh startling out of him.

“Logan, oh my god, I’m still holding my keys and wallet. I have my shoes on.”

“Allez.”

Leo just shook his head, raking his fingers through Logan’s sweaty hair. He dropped his things onto the night stand and then tugged his t-shirt off in one go, pushing off his shoes next. Logan let him undress, turning back to Finn and pressing his hands to Finn’s shoulders.

“Don’t touch him,” Leo said as he kicked his boxers aside. He fell down on the bed beside Finn and wrapped a large palm around himself, stroking his shaft. “Come on Finn’s cock, Tremz.”

“Non. Finn.”

Finn watched Logan and Leo share a look that he didn’t quite understand.

“I found the Batman picture,” Finn offered as a hopeful way to get into whatever silent communication Leo and Logan were having. “Sort of—” Finn hissed as Logan tightened around him. “Stirred up some memories if you couldn’t tell, fuck.”

Leo raised an eyebrow, shifting to sit on his heels. “Oh yeah?” He ran a hand down Logan’s back and Logan slowed until he was rocking gently, leaning a little into Leo. Leo looked at Finn. “How’d he look, Harzy?”

“He looked—” Finn began, and then cut off. The sudden well of emotion that had cut through him earlier seized around his heart again. He looked at Leo, all kind eyes, running his hand through Finn’s hair. And Logan, connected to Finn in every possible way right then. Finn opened and closed his mouth, swallowed over a dry throat, and looked at Logan. “He looked…”

~

The October air was a relief on Finn’s face when he pushed open the old window to the roof of OKN house. He turned back to look at Logan. They had thrown sweatpants and sweatshirts on, Finn had swiped a bottle of rum from the kitchen. The only real remnants of their outfits was Logan’s mussed hair and the gold on Finn’s cheeks.

Finn still felt like he was wearing a costume. 

“This is semi-secret,” Finn said as he climbed out onto the tiles, vans catching on the rough material. “And by that I mean I really think no one likes it out here but me.”

He heard Logan laugh from behind him and smiled, pleased.

Fuck.

“You, the roof, and the dining room table,” Logan said.

The rum sloshed gently as Finn settled himself in the curve of the tiles, putting his hood up for some warmth and cushion. Logan did the same, and they settled shoulder to shoulder.

“Might have to steel your spot,” Logan said. “You can keep the table, though.”

“We already share a room and a starting line,” Finn handed him the bottle. “Wouldn’t be so bad.”

Logan’s smile was bright in the moonlight. “Well, good.”

They were quiet for a few moments, passing the rum back and forth to keep warm.

“Do you think you’re gonna make it? To play, I mean.” Logan asked him suddenly.

Finn knew Logan didn’t know just how loaded of a question he was asking. Was Finn going to make it? Hopefully. Was Finn going to survive it? If there was another teammate who became what Logan was quickly becoming, if Finn slipped up…

Hopefully.

He couldn’t read Logan. He couldn’t risk misreading Logan. He shouldn’t even try.

“Yeah,” Finn nodded. “I do, actually. I…you know, there’s all those statistics and shit but I also…feel it? If that doesn’t sound completely stupid? You?”

“I…” Logan hesitated. “I’m not sure.”

“Come on, have you seen you play?”

One corner of Logan’s mouth raised, but he looked different beneath the moon. He was looking intently at Finn, bottle clutched to his chest.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I feel…”

Finn waited for him to continue, but when Logan merely shrugged, he pressed on.

“Hey, I’d take you. Any day.”

It didn’t have the intended effect. The look that crossed Logan’s face looked almost—pained.

“I mean,” Finn tried to decide how to backtrack. “Maybe one day, eh? Anything could happen.”

Logan turned to look out over campus. He nodded mutely and took another drink. Finn felt concern draw around his heart.

“Lo, are you okay?”

Logan’s eyes snapped back to him. “Quoi?”

“What? Oh. Oh. Oh, no, I…” Finn laughed, a little awkwardly. “I didn’t really mean to…that’s been, like—it’s just been bouncing around my head for a while and I guess it slipped out.”

“That’s okay,” Logan said slowly. “I’m okay.”

“It’s okay if you aren’t. I mean… freshman year, Harvard hockey…it’s a lot of pressure. Believe me, I know.”

Another surprising thing. Logan closed his eyes and shook his head. “Non.”

Finn blinked. “What do you mean?”

Logan shook his head. “Nothing, I just…I’m probably a little drunk, I don’t even know.”

Finn let Logan hand the bottle of rum back to him, clutching it to his chest just to hold onto something. He didn’t know what to make of Logan’s no. No Finn didn’t know what it was like? That wasn’t true. If anything, Logan didn’t know what he was going through. Logan didn’t think about kissing Finn.

Logan stole the bottle back. “If you’re not gonna drink.”

He had a smile on his face again, one of his small secret ones. Finn, despite the uncertainty, smiled back. He couldn’t help it around Logan. Logan, who he now knew was the youngest with three sisters. Logan, who drank rum and coke. Logan, who hated doing his homework, but liked listening to Finn do his. Logan, who fought boys twice his size.

Before Finn could say anything, a rumble of thunder sounded off in the distance. It made them both look up and across campus.

“Halloween storm,” Finn said. “I guess that’s fitting.”

“My weather app said something about it,” Logan said after a moment.

Finn smiled. Logan, who checked a weather app.

Logan saw his smile and gave him a small shove. “Let’s go before it starts to rain and—and lightning and shit.”

“Don’t like storms?”

Logan was already pulling his hood more firmly on his head and maneuvering himself into a crouch. “Not really.”

“Well,” Finn started following him back to the window. “I don’t know about Canada, but we get some pretty crazy ones out here.”

Logan huffed, pushing the window up. “Well, super.”

Finn frowned. “Do you really not like—”

“Merde,” Logan hissed and stumbled the rest of the way through the frame. “Fuck.”

Finn pulled himself through a second later, eyes falling to the rip in Logan’s sweatpants by his knee, the red bleeding into the thick material.

“Shit, Tremz,” Finn said. “Is it bad?”

“It’s fine,” Logan said, looking at it carefully. “I’m fine.”

“Let me see, sit down.”

“I’m—”

“Let me see, speaking as your alternate captain now.”

Logan narrowed his eyes at him pulling that card, but sat on a ratty window seat. Finn grinned at him and crouched between his legs. He steadied himself on Logan’s knee, and then pushed Logan’s sweatpants up carefully, revealing his leg—a leg that Finn had been trying very hard not to stare at in skin-tight Batman underwear all evening. His skin was warm.

Finn would have liked a longer excuse to touch Logan, but the cut was small if not a little deep—thankfully not too bad. It was already beginning to stop bleeding.

“You should be good. Wasn’t anything rusty, just the wood edge. There’s some stuff in our bathroom from when I cut my cheek open last year.”

“Okay,” Logan said quietly. It was only then that Finn realized how still he was holding himself in Finn’s hands. It made Finn back up immediately, neck going hot. Who knew what Logan thought. Finn was so careful. So careful.

“Okay,” Finn said, then cleared his throat. “Okay, cool.” He looked around and then picked up the rum bottle from the floor. “Yeah.”

Logan pushed his sweatpants back into place and stood. “I’ll go check it out. Thanks, Harzy. See you in the room.”

“Yeah,” Finn managed faintly. He watched Logan send him a raw looking smile before jogging down the narrow staircase with a tight heart.

~

“Always taking care of me,” Logan was kissing his neck. “Remember the storm that night?”

Finn found Leo’s eyes before Leo was kissing his chest, teeth scraping over his nipple. Logan was grinding down on him in slow circles, making Finn choke out a moan. Their mouths on him ripped him right out of the memory.

Sometimes happiness made sadness’s edge sharper.

Finn blinked heat away from his eyes, but then Leo was there again, cock against his thigh, mouth brushing his own. Leo. Finn held one hand against Logan’s hip, the fleur-de-lis, and the other circled Leo’s back, fingers tangling in his hair to pull him in for a kiss. He loved kissing Leo.

“You deserve it, too, remember? Like we said.” Leo said.

Logan mouth was softer now, against his jaw. “Maybe it’s time we show you.”

Finn could only sit there and take it, the two of them, warming him through and through.

Leo leaned into Finn’s touch. “Like you told me.”

~

Finn woke up with Leo pressed along his front for the first time the morning before they left for Florida. It was to a six AM alarm, Finn was exhausted, but it was one of the best mornings. Finding out Logan was coming to Gryffindor. Waking up wrapped around Leo. Tied for best mornings. After a few kisses, they had to get up, even if it felt like they were a world away from anything normal. Finn actually smiled to himself in the shower the entire time. He was giddy as hell, and Leo was in the kitchen making coffee and eggs and he could kiss Leo while he did that now. He could kiss Leo while he was reading on the couch, he could kiss Leo goodnight and crawl into bed next to him. And and and.

Leo looked up when Finn entered the kitchen, hunched over his coffee cup with two steaming plates in front of him. “Hi.”

Finn just walked forward and turned Leo away from the counter and towards him. “Leo.”

Leo took a lock of his hair, the red darkened from the shower, and curled it around his finger. “You look a little too serious for my liking.”

“You’re okay with all of this, right?” Finn said, and then the words rushed out. “You’re okay with me, and with Logan—hopefully—and you feel good and not pressured, and I just want to make sure because, Leo, I’m not that much older than you but I am older than you. And I need you to know that I want this with everything I fucking have but not if you’re in any way not happy, or, like, nervous, or…I just want,” Finn felt Leo press his hand to his cheek. “I just want to make sure. And I’m gonna keep making sure.”

“Harz…” Leo’s smile was small, almost disbelieving. “I’m so happy. I’m so happy.”

“Well…good,” Finn let out a breathless laugh, relieved. “Because you deserve to be.” Finn pressed his hands to either side of Leo’s face and kissed him once, twice, and then Leo held him there with a hand on the back of his head, licking into his mouth and making Finn sway into the cradle of his thighs. “I really, really like you, Peanut.”

“I like you, too. Even though you’re going to make us late.”

Finn just smiled into their next kiss. “I’ll get the dishes, okay? You go take a shower.”

~

Logan was already under his covers by the time Finn came into the room. The halloween storm was getting sharper. It was raining now, lightning flashing against the sky. Logan had his headphones in, and his eyes were dark as they followed Finn around the room as he undressed. Finn could hear his music from all the way in the bathroom.

Finn found the Batman mask by the sink and laughed, heart pulling when he thought about Logan’s green eyes in it, staring a little self consciously out at him earlier that night. He brushed his teeth and then put it on.

Logan raised an eyebrow when Finn came out, but he laughed and pushed his headphones away from one ear, making his hair stick up.

“Forgot your secret identity,” Finn grinned.

“Too late now.”

Finn bit his lip as he crossed the room to his own bed, putting the mask down. Logan was certainly his secret. Logan had grown quickly into Finn’s mind, so fast that Finn hadn’t really realized it. One morning, he just woke up thinking about kissing Logan square on the mouth.

Logan took a shaky breath from the other side of the room and set his headphones on his nightstand with a glance outside. Lightning cracked across the sky, lighting up the room. Logan’s fists squeezed around his blanket.

Finn slumped down against his pillows with a sigh, taking the book he was reading from his bedside. He could hear people leaving downstairs, screaming and laughing in the wind and rain.

“I don’t like storms,” Logan said quietly. He wasn’t looking at Finn, and he was messing with his fingers agitatedly, covers pulled high on his chest. “I don’t really know why, I just…I don’t like them.”

“I don’t like seaweed,” Finn shrugged, but warmed when Logan actually laughed. “I don’t know, man, it’s just slimy. Thunder’s loud as fuck, I mean, it doesn’t not make sense to not like it.” He took a breath. “You want the light on? It won’t bother me at all.”

Logan looked at him for a long moment, before nodding. “Oui. Thanks, Harzy.”

~

“Harzy,” Logan said against his mouth, and Finn felt his back arch as Logan drew them closer together.

Finn couldn’t get any words out, though, not with Logan hot around him, with Leo sucking intently at his neck, rutting against his thigh. He let out a harsh breath and tightened his fingers in Leo’s hair. They were both hard and dripping onto his chest and stomach and Finn wanted to do something for them. He was aching inside Logan, breathless from his own memories.

“Please,” he said, and he wasn’t even sure what he was asking. He tried to sit up, to reach for them. He wanted to surround them, to pull them against him harder.

Leo shushed him gently, pulling him into a kiss and easing him back against the pillows.

“You were gonna go all the way and get me the stars,” Leo whispered, a light laugh following. “Fuck, Finn…”

“I just—” Finn flexed his hips up into Logan and Logan’s brows scrunched together, hands keeping him upright against Finn’s chest.

“I’m gonna come,” Logan panted, his hips fucking down on Finn. “Fuck, I can’t—”

Logan’s hips stilled and he gasped, cock still red and hard. He fucked once, twice, as if he couldn’t help it, but Finn groaned in protest as Logan gingerly pulled off. Finn watched his own cock bobbing an angry red against his stomach, shiny with come and lube. Logan collapsed into Finn’s side, sweaty and running his hand down Finn’s chest to his balls, cupping them gently.

“Always taking care of us,” Logan breathed. “Fuck, Harz, I love you, but you have to let us take care of you.”

They’d only fucked a handful of times—and Finn was looking forward to many, many more handfuls—but he guessed it was true.

“I like it,” He said. And that was true too. He loved it. His breathing hitched as Leo licked a stripe from Logan’s fingers to the tip of Finn’s cock. “Fuck, Leo.”

Leo just smiled, cheeks a deep red and swung a leg over Finn’s hips. Finn’s hand shot out to grip Leo’s thighs.

“Baby, did you even—”

Leo nodded. “You were a little preoccupied.”

“I could of done it.”

Logan laughed, pressing a kiss to Finn’s cheek. “That’s not the point of right now.”

Leo’s cock hung heavily, balls swollen and tip wet. Finn itched to touch him, but instead Leo cupped his cock against his abs, giving Finn a perfect view of him sinking down over Finn’s.

“We’re all here together,” Logan said softly, accent thick as Finn’s eyes closed at the feeling of Logan’s hand and Leo’s body. “We’re all here for each other, mon rouge. Let us.”

Leo’s head was tilted back, hips rocking in slow circles. Finn cursed, gripping Leo’s pale thighs, longer and leaner than Logan’s.

“Peanut,” Finn gasped. “Jesus, did you two practice this on each other, too?”

Leo’s smile was hazy and blissful. “Maybe.”

Finn groaned, head dropping back into the pillows. Finn loved the two of them together. His two.

Leo’s breathing turned heavy and then he pressed up and sunk down again, punching a sound out of himself. “Fuck.”

“There you go, pinotte,” Logan said from beside Finn. His palm was warm around Finn’s balls still, the sensation making Finn feel like he was about to be right on the edge. Leo was still holding his own cock, but not stroking it, just sinking down around Finn again and again. His blond hair darkened against his forehead.

“I’m close,” Finn said. “Jesus, fuck, I’m so close.”

The urgency had come out of nowhere, but he ached with it. Logan’s hand squeezed again around his balls, and then Leo was pulling off, too. Finn’s abs jumped and the loss. He fisted the sheets.

“Boys, this is not what I call appreciation,” Finn’s knees drew up on their own, trying to seek out any type of friction. His cock beaded precome across his stomach.

“Non?” Logan said, and then he was gone from against Finn’s side. Finn felt aflame, like he could feel every touch, and every absence.

Leo smoothed a hand down his stomach, through the mess, and then his mouth was back on Finn’s cock—and so was Logan’s.

“Huh—“ Finn wasn’t sure if he was breathing properly as his hands shot out to tangle in their hair, brunette and blonde. They lapped at him, mouths meeting occasionally around his wet, swollen tip. They’re—

“Fucking gorgeous, what the hell,” Finn managed, and he did sit up this time, legs splayed, pressing against their chests, palms rubbing over their spines. He had to close his eyes for a minute when Logan’s mouth found his balls and sucked at them, at the sensitive skin at his root, all while Leo’s mouth was sinking down, down. Finn felt it like a bruise, like a hurt that was so good it shattered, he shattered, looking at them.

Finn tried to keep his hips still as he came in Leo’s mouth with a low sound, bowed with his forehead pressed to Leo’s shoulder.

They kissed him, and then kissed each other, and then Logan was crawling across Finn and into Leo’s waiting arms. They smiled at each other, and Finn thought that was better than any of the sex. Leo’s hands were shaky as he pushed into Logan. Logan sunk down on Leo’s cock twice before he was shouting, come hot and white against Leo’s skin. Finn pressed himself all along Logan’s back and held him as Leo fucked into him a handful of times and came, too, face buried in Finn’s neck.

They were breathing hard, like a fine current surrounded the three of them, placing their breaths in sync. Finn was—

~

Leo closed the door to the balcony of Finn’s Florida hotel room and paced back to the bed, sitting beside him. Finn rubbed a hand up and down his back, thumb bumping along his spine.

“He’s hurting,” Leo said, eyes down. “He’s hurting, and he won’t let us tell him that we…”

“Lo’s always needed to do things in his own time. Always. We’ll get to him, we’ll talk to him.”

“I…” Leo cut off with a sigh and rubbed his hands over his face. Then he turned into Finn and Finn wrapped him up close.

“We’ll sort it out. Believe me, I’ve been waiting a long fucking time for this,” Finn pressed a kiss to Leo’s cheek. “For you, too, even if I didn’t know it.”

Leo smiled, even if his eyes were still a little sad.

“You’re right,” he said, and then paused. “Maybe we’ll just kidnap him at the buffet.”

Finn snorted. “Maybe.”

Leo took Finn’s hand in his lap and kissed it. “I think we’ll be together soon.”

~

It was too good. It was all his. Finn ran one hand over Logan’s abs slowly before pressing his palm over his pounding heart. With his other on Leo’s back, he could feel Leo’s heartbeat, too. They were louder to him than his own. Logan’s head was tilted back against his shoulder, his eyes closed, and Finn leant down and kissed his cheek.

“Knutty, c’mere,” he breathed. “C’mere.”

Leo’s cheeks were red like his mouth and he knelt his way over to Finn’s chest, leaning his chin up for a kiss. He pressed his hand to Finn’s cheek, swiping his thumb over his jaw.

“Stubble,” he mumbled with a smile, and dragged his lips over it happily.

Finn laughed softly. “I’ve been playing good, I gotta keep it.”

Logan looked up and all but smacked Finn in the face to feel. “Fucking loved that in college.”

“He had it the first day I met him,” Leo smiled, nuzzling against Finn’s slightly rough jaw and the dark red hair there.

~

“The fuck’s on your face, O’Hara,” was Logan’s greeting during preseason camp Finn’s senior year.

They’d seen each other a few weeks prior when Logan was still in the city staying with Finn’s family. He’d spent the last weeks of July with his own family, and how here they were, back at Harvard, sticky with sweat from ground training. Seeing Logan again after weeks, even just after a night’s sleep, was always a bit of a punch to the gut for Finn. He was tanned from the summer sun, sinfully so, and Finn wanted to—

“What?” Finn laughed, lifting his shirt up to wipe his face—including the week old beard he’d been experimenting with. “I don’t know about it, what do you think?”

He was thankful he was already sweating, because his face heated with the question. He needed to know what Logan thought, always.

Logan, green eyes were made light by his black snapback, walked forward. He took Finn’s chin between his fingers, turning his head this way and that before rubbing his palm over his cheek. Finn swallowed.

“Nice face,” Logan said.

~

Finn laughed. “You made fun of me.”

Leo snorted. “Well, neither of us could very well say fuck, what a hottie.”

“Nut, please go around calling Finn a hottie from now on,” Logan laughed, and then let out a breath. “Fuck, that was so hot.”

“I still haven’t seen the picture,” Leo said, and then, more quietly. “What activated our Finn plan, Tremz?”

Finn blinked. “Finn plan?” Logan looked up at Finn with a smile and Finn raised an eyebrow, tweaking his nipple and making him swear and laugh Finn’s favorite laugh. “What the hell is a Finn plan?”

“Just…” Logan looked over his face, and then to Leo, reaching out and petting a hand through Leo’s hair. “We wanted to show you that we want you just as much. That we want to take care of you as much as you always tell us you want to take care of us.”

Finn looked between them. “You…”

“We were talking about it,” Leo began.

“And making out,” Logan added.

“And making dinner one night,” Leo laughed. “And, I don’t know, we just sort of…when we felt the time was good, decided we’d make sure you knew.”

Logan nodded, hair tickling Finn’s throat. “You looked pretty sad there for a second, mon rouge, looking at that picture.”

“And when you were telling me about your rookie year, remember?” Leo said. “In Florida, after we got together?”

~

“I’m just saying,” Finn shrugged. They were laying down facing each other on Finn’s bed. Timmy was out with Kuny and Nado and, when that happened, he didn’t come back for a good while. Finn didn’t want to do anything too risky, but kissing Leo until he was soft and smiling seemed like a good plan. Logan wasn’t picking up his phone. He wasn’t in his and Leo’s room.

Kissing had soon turned into worrying.

“I’m just saying, I’m really glad you didn’t have to do the rookie season hotel shit. I’m so glad you’re with me. When I did it, it just,” Finn watched where his thumb was stroking over Leo’s knuckles. “I mean, Logan wasn’t really talking to me. I was trying to give him space, but I—missed him. Sorry,” Finn laughed a little, clearing his throat around the hot tears forming there.

“Don’t be,” Leo said. “Harzy, you love him. Of course you missed him.”

“I just waited for him to call forever,” Finn said in a rush. “And I’d wait forever again, you know, but I…I would just stare at my—phone,” Finn’s voice hitched. “And then I finally called him and it was horrible, I could barely talk.”

Leo’s eyes were sad and he pressed closer to Finn.

“I’m just happy you wanted to talk,” Finn whispered into the small space between them. “I’m so fucking glad we talked and now look, I can kiss you, Leo. Even though I’m crying,” Finn smiled a little, and Leo kissed him.

“You’re allowed to cry over him. Fuck, you think I haven’t cried over both of you?”

Finn laughed and rubbed his eyes. “Hope you don’t cry over me anymore.”

Leo grinned, swinging a leg over Finn’s hips. “I think they call you Heartthrob-O’Hara for a reason.”

~

“I remember,” Finn said softly. He couldn’t think about that phone call, though. Not yet. With time. “I didn’t know you remembered, Nut.”

Leo nodded. “I think we all remember.”

Logan let out a shaky breath against Finn’s chest and Finn rested his lips against the crown of Logan’s head. Maybe Logan couldn’t think about it either. Logan, who had tried to be so bright for him, even when he could tell Finn was crying.

Leo smiled. “Got a couple of star crossed lovers on my hands.”

Finn felt Logan’s laugh this time. “Care to join the party?”

“Yes, please.”

Finn groaned at the soft syllables in Leo’s voice, the drawn out ones in Logan’s. “You both get accent-y after sex."

“Tired,” Logan said.

“Fucked,” Leo sighed.

Logan laughed loudly, eyes squeezing shut, and he nudged Leo with his hand before wrapping his fingers around his arm and pulling him close for a kiss.

Finn didn’t think they were star crossed anymore. They had orbited around that somehow and ended up here, pulled by Leo’s gravity, into a tangle of light.

“In the middle,” Leo laughed, and bent briefly to press a lingering kiss to the dark ink on Logan’s hip before returning to his mouth. “Just how you like it.”

Finn smiled. Finn was just where he liked it, too. Feeling the weight of both of them in his arms, not moving, not going anywhere, their voices soft in a room the was safe and warm.

“What do you like, Nut?” Finn said. “Tell me.”

Leo bit his lip. “Looking at you two. I never even thought I’d have one person. And if I did, I thought they’d get tired of secrets. Scared away.” Leo let Finn pull him closer. “Secrets made you two stronger. And you’re not gonna leave me because you have to keep me a secret, either.” Leo’s gaze flickered. “I like looking at you two and knowing that.”

~

“Knutty, Knutty, Knutter, Nut, Nutter butter baby,” Finn sing-songed as he shuffled into the kitchen, voice sleepy and hair a mess. He felt awake after last night, his boys, on him, with him, working their way so deep into his bones and heart that he bled and bruised and breathed them. It felt good.

He rested his cheek against Leo’s back as he wrapped his arms around him from behind while eggs sizzled on the stove.

“Morning, Harz,” Leo said.

“Sup,” Finn sighed.

Leo snorted, then took a strip of bacon he had cooling from a plate. “Here.”

Finn made an appreciative sound and took it between his teeth.

“Do you wish we could cook?” Finn asked as he chewed.

Leo wavered his head back and forth. “No,” he decided. “I think you can do more than you think you can, but I like cooking for you. You guys clean up. It’s like being on a cooking show. All the fun, none of the work.”

Finn laughed, pressing a kiss to Leo’s shoulder through his t-shirt. “Cute.”

“Is he awake yet?”

“No,” Finn said, pulling three coffee mugs down from the cupboard. Logan, easily awoken, hard to wake up. “Somehow we managed to sneak out. Lightest sleeper ever. You know, I used to have to pee on roadies or when we were roommates—I mean I still pee, but you get the idea. And he would jump up like there was a fucking burglar.”

Leo dumped the eggs onto the waiting plates and flicked the hot pan off. He came up behind Finn this time, hands on his hips while the smell of brewing coffee rose in the air. Finn leaned back against his chest.

“I thought about doing this so many times while you made breakfast,” Finn said softly.

Leo glanced at his face, nose brushing his cheek. His eyes were closed, eyelashes turned shadows in the warm sunlight pooling on the floor. He was completely relaxed into Leo, and Leo held him there. This was what Leo liked. Finn, knowing that they weren’t going anywhere, no matter what he did.

“Me too,” Leo said, kissing Finn’s jaw. Finn smiled, and turned his head into the kiss.

“Leo,” Finn said.

“Yeah?”

“I think we should ask him.”

Leo only had the chance to smile and kiss Finn again, deeper, before there was a weight falling against both of them, Logan’s dark head of hair burrowing against Leo’s chest. Leo laughed and stumbled, just a little.

“You gain ten pounds when you’re sleepy, I swear.”

Logan just hummed. Leo and Finn looked at each other over his head, and then Finn sandwiched Logan in from the other side.

“Hey, Lo,” he whispered.

“Quoi,” Logan mumbled sleepily, his eyes closed and cheek against Leo’s t-shirt.

Finn smiled at Leo, and Leo ducked down.

“Will you move in with us?” Leo whispered.

Logan looked up so fast he butted Finn in the nose with the back of his head.

“Fuck me,” Finn startled back and Logan swore, turning in their arms and pressing his hands to Finn’s rough cheeks.

“Harz,” Logan began, and then Finn realized that both him and Leo were laughing too hard to speak.

“Ouch.”

Logan sagged against him, gasping for breath—

And then Finn realized he was half crying. And nodding. And nodding and nodding.

Finn abandoned his aching nose and looked at Leo, whose expression had softened. Logan’s breathing stuttered and he gasped out a laugh, wiping his face.

“Fuck, I just woke up.”

“Is that a yes?” Finn laughed. “Head butt me then burst into tears, I guess that’s a pretty regular morning for us all.”

Leo kissed Logan’s neck softly. “Say yes.”

“Get out of Dumo’s basement,” Finn said.

Logan punched him in the chest, making him groan, and the pulled him back in, leaning into Leo’s arms.

“Yes,” Logan said. “Yes.”

~

Over coffee, Finn held his phone out to Leo.

“Slutty Batman.”

Leo blinked at the photo. “Holy fuck.”

[aion-rsa]

The Star Trek: The Original Series Episodes That Best Define the Franchise

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By the time my generation got to watch Star Trek: The Original Series, the episodes often were being presented in top-ten marathons. When I was ten-years-old, for the 25th Anniversary of Star Trek, I tape-recorded a marathon of ten episodes that had all been voted by fans as the best-ever installments of The Original Series. Later, I got lucky and found Trek stickers at the grocery store and was able to label my VHS tapes correctly. But do I think all the episodes that were in that marathon back in 1991 were really the best episodes of all of the classic Star Trek? The short answer: no. Although I love nearly every episode of the first 79 installments of Star Trek, I do think that certain lists have been created by what we think should be on the list rather than what episodes really best represent the classic show. 

This is a long-winded way of saying, no, I didn’t include “Amok Time” or “The Menagerie” on this list because, as great as they are, I don’t think they really represent the greatest hits of the series. Also, if you’ve never watched TOS, I think those two episodes will throw you off cause you’ll assume Spock is always losing his mind or trying to steal the ship. If you’ve never watched TOS, or you feel like rewatching it with fresh eyes, I feel pretty strong that these 10 episodes are not only wonderful, but that they best represent what the entire series is really about. Given this metric, my choice for the best episode of TOS may surprise you…

10. “The Man Trap” 

The first Star Trek ever episode aired should not be the first episode you watch. And yet, you should watch it at some point. The goofy premise concerns an alien with shaggy dog fur, suckers on its hand, and a face like a terrifying deep-sea fish. This alien is also a salt vampire that uses telepathy that effectively also makes it a shapeshifter. It’s all so specifically bonkers that trying to rip-off this trope would be nuts. Written by science fiction legend George Clayton Johnson (one half of Logan’s Run authorship) “The Man Trap” still slaps, and not because Spock (Leonard Nimoy)  tries to slap the alien. Back in the early Season 1 episodes of Star Trek, the “supporting” players like Uhura and Sulu are actually doing stuff in the episode. We all talk about Kirk crying out in pain when the M-113 creature puts those suckers on his face, but the real scene to watch is when Uhura starts speaking Swahili. The casual way Uhura and Sulu are just their lovable selves in this episode is part of why we just can’t quit the classic Star Trek to this day. Plus, the fact that the story is technically centered on Bones gives the episode some gravitas and oomph. You will believe an old country doctor thinks that salt vampire is Nancy! (Spoiler alert: It’s not Nancy.)

9. “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield” 

There are two episodes everyone always likes to bring up when discussing the ways in which Star Trek changed the game for the better in pop culture’s discourse on racism: “Plato’s Stepchildren” and this episode, “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield.” The former episode is famous because Kirk and Uhura kiss, which is sometimes considered the first interracial kiss on an American TV show. (British TV shows had a few of those before Star Trek, though.) But “Plato’s Stepchildren” is not a great episode, and Kirk and Uhura were also manipulated to kiss by telepaths. So, no, I’m not crazy about “Plato’s Stepchildren.” Uhura being forced to kiss a white dude isn’t great.

But “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield,” oddly holds up. Yep. This is the one about space racism where the Riddler from the ‘60s Batman (Frank Gorshin) looks like a black-and-white cookie. Is this episode cheesy? Is it hard to take most of it seriously? Is it weird that Bele (Frank Gorshin) didn’t have a spaceship because the budget was so low at that time? Yes. Is the entire episode dated, and sometimes borderline offensive even though its heart is in the right place? Yes. Does the ending of the episode still work? You bet it does. If you’re going to watch OG Star Trek and skip this episode, you’re kind of missing out on just how charmingly heavy-handed the series could get. “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield” is like a ‘60s after-school special about racism, but they were high while they were writing it.

8. “Arena”

You’re gonna try to list the best episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series and not list the episode where Kirk fights a lizard wearing gold dress-tunic? The most amazing thing about “Arena” is that it’s a Season 1 episode of The Original Series and somehow everyone involved in making TOS had enough restraint not to ever try to use this Gorn costume again. They didn’t throw it away either! This famous rubber lizard was built by Wah Chang and is currently owned by none other than Ben Stiller.

So, here’s the thing about “Arena” that makes it a great episode of Star Trek, or any TV series with a lizard person. Kirk refuses to kill the Gorn even though he could have, and Star Trek refused to put a lizard costume in a bunch of episodes later, even though they totally could have. Gold stars all around.

7. “Balance of Terror”

The fact that Star Trek managed to introduce a race of aliens that looked exactly like Spock, and not confuse its viewership is amazing. On top of that, the fact that this detail isn’t exactly the entire focus of the episode is equally impressive. The notion that the Romulans look like Vulcans is a great twist in The Original Series, and decades upon decades of seeing Romulans has probably dulled the novelty ever so slightly. But, the idea that there was a brutally cold and efficient version of the Vulcans flying around in invisible ships blowing shit up is not only cool, but smart.

“Balance of Terror” made the Romulans the best villains of Star Trek because their villainy felt personal. Most Romulan stories in TNG, DS9, and Picard are pretty damn good and they all start right here.

6. “Space Seed”

Khaaaan!!!! Although The Wrath of Khan is infinitely more famous than the episode from which it came, “Space Seed” is one of the best episodes of The Original Series even if it hadn’t been the progenitor of that famous film. In this episode, the worst human villain the Enterprise can encounter doesn’t come from the present, but instead, the past. Even though “Space Seed” isn’t considered a very thoughtful episode and Khan is a straight-up gaslighter, the larger point here is that Khan’s evilness is connected to the fact that he lived on a version of Earth closer to our own.

The episode’s coda is also amazing and speaks of just how interesting Captain Kirk really is. After Khan beat the shit out of him and tried to suffocate the entire Enterprise crew, Kirk’s like “Yeah, this guy just needs a long camping trip.” 

5. “A Piece of the Action”

A few years back, Saturday Night Live did a Star Trek sketch in which it was revealed that Spock had a relative named “Spocko.” This sketch was tragically unfunny because TOS had already made the “Spocko” joke a million times better in “A Piece of the Action.” When you describe the premise of this episode to someone who has never seen it or even heard of it, it sounds like you’re making it up. Kirk, Spock, and Bones are tasked with cleaning-up a planet full of old-timey mobsters who use phrases like “put the bag on you.” Not only is the episode hilarious, but it also demonstrates the range of what Star Trek can do as an emerging type of pop-art. In “A Piece of the Action,” Star Trek begins asking questions about genres that nobody ever dreamed of before. Such as, “what if we did an old-timey gangster movie, but there’s a spaceship involved?”

4. “Devil in the Dark”

When I was a kid, my sister and I called this episode, “the one with giant pizza.” Today, it’s one of those episodes of Star Trek that people tell you defines the entire franchise. They’re not wrong, particularly because we’re just talking about The Original Series. The legacy of this episode is beyond brilliant and set-up a wonderful tradition within the rest of the franchise; a monster story is almost never a monster story

The ending of this episode is so good, and Leonard Nimoy and Shatner play the final scenes so well that I’m actually not sure it’s cool to reveal what the big twist is. If you somehow don’t know, I’ll just say this. You can’t imagine Chris Pratt’s friendly Velicrapotrs, or Ripper on Discovery without the Horta getting their first.

3. “The Corbomite Maneuver” 

If there’s one episode on this list that truly represents what Star Trek is usually all about on a plot level, it’s this one. After the first two pilot episodes —“Where No Man Has Gone Before” and “The Cage”—this was the first regular episode filmed. It’s the first episode with Uhura and, in almost every single way, a great way to actually explain who all these characters are and what the hell they’re doing. The episode begins with Spock saying something is “fascinating” and then, after the opening credits, calling Kirk, who is down in sickbay with his shirt off. Bones gives Kirk shit about not having done his physical in a while, and Kirk wanders through the halls of the episode without his shirt, just kind of holding his boots. 

That’s just the first like 5 minutes. It just gets better and better from there. Like a good bottle of tranya, this episode only improves with time. And if you think it’s cheesy and the big reveal bizarre, then I’m going to say, you’re not going to like the rest of Star Trek. 

2. “The City on the Edge of Forever”

No more blah blah blah! Sorry, wrong episode. Still, you’ve heard about “The City on the Edge of Forever.” You’ve heard it’s a great time travel episode. You’ve heard Harlan Ellison was pissed about how the script turned out. You heard that Ron Moore really wanted to bring back Edith Keeler for Star Trek Generations. (Okay, maybe you haven’t heard that, but he did.)

Everything you’ve heard about this episode is correct. There’s some stuff that will make any sensible person roll their eyes today, but the overall feeling of this episode is unparalleled. Time travel stories are always popular, but Star Trek has never really done a time travel story this good ever again. The edge of forever will always be just out of reach.

1. “A Taste of Armageddon”

Plot twist! This excellent episode of TOS almost never makes it on top ten lists. Until now! If you blink, “A Taste of Armageddon” could resemble at least a dozen other episodes of TOS. Kirk and Spock are trapped without their communicators. The crew has to overpower some guards to get to some central computer hub and blow it up. Scotty is in command with Kirk on the surface and is just kind of scowling the whole time. Kirk is giving big speeches about how humanity is great because it’s so deeply flawed.

What makes this episode fantastic is that all of these elements come together thanks to a simplistic science fiction premise: What if a society eliminated violence but retained murder? What if hatred was still encouraged, but war was automated? Star Trek’s best moments were often direct allegories about things that were actually happening, but what makes “A Taste of Armageddon” so great is that this metaphor reached for something that could happen. Kirk’s solution to this problem is a non-solution, which makes the episode even better. At its best classic Star Trek wasn’t just presenting a social problem and then telling us how to fix it. Sometimes it was saying something more interesting — what if the problem gets even harder? What do we do then? 

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The humor and bombast of “A Taste of Armageddon” is part of the answer to that unspoken question, but there’s also a clever lesson about making smaller philosophical decisions. In Star Wars, people are always trying to rid themselves of the dark side of the Force. In Star Trek, Kirk just teaches us to say, “Hey I won’t be a terrible person, today” and then just see how many days we can go in a row being like that.

What do you think are the most franchise-defining episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know in the comments below.

The post The Star Trek: The Original Series Episodes That Best Define the Franchise appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[starfirette]

Hello! Can u please write Helena Bertinelli with a Fem!reader tomboy that's a muay thai fighter and look like super cool and cold,but in the apartment its a very soft and lovely girlfriend with Helena? (And how the birds will react when them met her) Thank you,I Love you writing and HELENA IS SUCH A BAE!!! THIS GAL NEED MORE LOVE AND SUPPORT!❤

masterlist | word count: who fucking knows | 🏷 @kurreapormaranet @emofairygay​ | a/n: ;0 There are some things you might want to look up on youtube so you have a general idea of what’s happening. Clinch positions, tactical stand ups, thips

The rink’s seats filled massively, stretching to every wall that bounced the cheering back and forth. 

The overall mission seemed simple, but it had Helena dreading this moment since Harleen explained what needed to happen. 

The trust fund brat of the devilish Rossini family kidnapped the Rossini’s pride and joy: their little baby girl, Ayala. Ayala Rossini, four years old, is the Brat’s younger half sister and the new written in heir of the Rossini fortune. The Brat, Carmen, had been written out of the will after she kidnapped the new little bird Batman was keeping under his wing. She’d been sloppy and left behind all marks of her family’s (unbeknownst) involvement. She made serval costly mistakes which included Batman’s uncovering of the Rossini family’s plans of Gotham, Star, and Jump city. Half the family became arrested.

Carmen was all but disowned by her father, whom she already resented for marrying another woman so quick after the death of her mother. To get her revenge, she kidnapped Ayala.

So, Mr and Mrs Rossini employed Harley and her rag tag team of anti-hero thugs.

To get Ayala back, the girls would have to go undercover.

Their heroic deed would get them 30k each, so that was good enough. The Rossinis are precise and focuses; they’d been willing to pay as much as they had to in order to ensure the safety of their little crime lord baby.

Now Harley had her connections. She knew a guy who knew a guy who saw a friend with a girl outside of the 31 Flavors ice cream shoppe, and this girl just happened to know that Carmen spends her free time hosting epic fights in the secret tunnels of Smallville.

It’s a long ways away from Gotham, but is a perfect place to host such gatherings. The fights are frightfully violent and brutal. Also very illegal. No one would ever know that beneath the wheat and corn fields of Lil’ Ol’ Smallville county lays an intricate mafia maze.

Carmen Rossini is notorious for entertaining the winners to a “fine dinner with wine”. The rumors go that she runs an entire harem of Thai Fighting women, using them for sexual favors and personal security.

The entire mission is actually depending on that rumor.

The plan was to send in Dinah as a participant in the rink and hope she would win and earn the attention of Carmen. 

But then Dinah got bronchitis. It was a nasty case, too, in which she wouldn’t stop coughing and hacking up green stuff into tissues. 

The entire thing would have been called off if you hadn’t admitted that you are, in fact, trained in Muay Thai. 

You’re positive that Helena would have rather kept this a secret, because she doesn’t like putting you in harms way. It’s a nuisance to have the world’s most protective girlfriend. Heaven forbid you even get a paper cut, else she’d make you wear rubber gloves while you read a book. 

The entire group (save Helena) jumped for the chance to replace Dinah with you. You’d do perfect, Harley said, sounding so confident. 

You intended to be flawless in the ring. 

You’d not competed since high school, when Muay Thai was still just a recreational hobby. You’d had your wins and losses, but that was before you grew up to spend majority of your time fighting mafia crime lords. 

Once Dinah officially relinquished her role of the mission, you took to the heavy bags. The repetitions became intense and harsh in the following weeks. You spent every night limping into bed. 

Your sweet whispers that begged Helena for a soothing massage fell onto her deaf ears. She is stubborn, and she had been attempting to force you out of this competition since the day you’d agreed to it. 

You were not afraid of Carmen, or anyone else she’d make you fight against. For the sake of the little Ayala, you would do this. Besides, you tell yourself, what’s the worst that could happen? With the Birds and their abilities, there isn’t much that could happen. 

Nothing would slide through the cracks. 

Hopefully. 

The day did come faster than you’d imagined, though. The drive to Smallville was tense, especially in the backseat where Helena was frostily ignoring you. 

Harleen was road raging, passing every trucker on the two way road that didn’t exceed 65 miles an hour. 

“You know the speed limit is 45, right?” Montoya asked after she had taken a long drag of a cigarette. She had her legs propped up on the dash. Between her and Harley sat Cass, who was oblivious to the chaos around her as she sang along to a pop Spanish song. “Yeah, and?” Harley quipped. She cast her bright eyes towards Montoya, a wicked smile playing on her lips.“You gonna arrest me?” 

Montoya couldn’t do much but sigh in defeat. If Harley didn’t mind crashing, then she didn’t either. 

Between the bickering and the loud singing of the three front passengers, you and Helena were sitting silently in the very back seats. Your head was leaned up against the window which rattled as the tires of Harley’s ‘64 Starfire rolled across the gravely road. 

Helena had been refusing to speak to you since the fight you got into last night. It was a real fight. She’s made it clear that she’s against you fighting in Carmen’s ring, and is especially against you joining her harem. 

You’d first thought she was afraid of disloyalty; you had promised her that you wouldn’t ever cheat on her, even if it was for a mission. But it became revealed that’s not what Helena was worried about. 

She feared for your life. She fears for your life every single day. No matter how small of a task, she can’t help but worry. She lost her mother, father, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles; everyone. She’d been so helpless. She could only watch as she became the sole Bertinelli. 

Helena couldn’t live on if something happened to you. 

The fight ended on a confusing note. It didn’t end, per say, and you two did sleep in the same bed. However, neither of you has said a word to each other. You tried this morning, but she’d given you the snippy, cold shoulder. 

As much as you hate putting her through so much anxiety, you know that you can’t back down. A girl’s life is at stake; it’s not the money you care about. Not to mention Carmen Rossini is about to make the top 50 worst criminals in Gotham County. 

Harley rolled the car to a stop around a patch of gravel and dust. Everyone climbs out, rocks crunching under their shoes as they stretch and look around. 

“Where is it?” Cass asks, shoving her hands in the pockets of her loose denim jacket. Her chapped lips are stained blue from the tootsy pop that she’d crunched on in the car. The soggy stick now hung from her lips, as if she had been imitating Montoya’s cigarette. 

Harley locked, double checked, then re locked, then triple checked her car. She turned around, using her hands to shield her vision as she scanned the open wheat fields. “Dunno,” she admitted. “I guess I supposed someone woulda been here to meet us.” 

You shifted on your feet. You wanted to try and make Helena happy before you’d at least go inside and get in the ring. The only issue is, she’ll only be happy if your forfeit now. 

You would not. 

Across the way, by a few yards at most, a rustling came through the wheat that came at least up to your hips.

A young man emerged; he approached the Birds with a guarded look that furrowed his thick, blond eyebrows. “You are Carmen’s guests, yes?” 

He spoke with a thick accent. His honey blond hair contrasted his coffee brown features. He had a handsome face with a strong jaw, but something about him seemed off. He seemed intimidated despite being taller and broader than most. 

“We are,” you answered for the Birds. “I am Y/n. I am the contestant.” 

The man beckons you all forward. Helena glared at him, her hand steadily tapping the outside of her thigh. She was prepared to draw her gun and shoot anyone that could get in her way. In your way. 

You tasted a bitter foam in your mouth as you attempted to stop Helena without raising too much attention. 

“We––I––am here for the  Carmen’s...event.” 

The honey blond man tallied the Birds on his fingers, visibly distressed. “I do not thinka’ Miss Rossini expected so many of you...” 

After a brief, strangled silence, the man shook his head and waved his arm along to escort you. “The bunker is just this way,” he explained. Harley and Cass walked after him. 

Helena meets your eyes. Her gaze is firm, and maybe even angry. No way could you defuse that situation while still heading into the rink. 

The wheat and grass crunched under your boots as you marched across the pace-by-pace clearing. A trap door in the ground lifted up swiftly, silently, as if they grease the hinges every damn day. 

You remembered how this turned out for Suzie Salmon; casting one more look over your shoulder, you assured yourself with the presence of Helena. 

Down the hatch, under the ground, you, Harley, Cass, Helena, and Mr Cannoli over here shuffled down the hall to a big dressing room. The entire layout felt more like a stadium then an underground crime rink. The dressing room has lush sofas and fur blankets; in the corner a SodaStream is mounted on an Ikea book table. 

“Miss Rossini will join you shortly,” Cannoli-guy told you, nodding his head regally. He bowed out of the room, shutting the heavy oak door after him. 

Cass jumped on the sofa. She sprawled out over the furs, kicking her muddy Chuck Taylors up. “Luxury.” 

Harley snipped to Cass to get her dirty little feet off the merchandise. 

You took a seat in the swivel chair in front of the large mirror. It looked like pure Broadway with the heavy lightbulbs that wreathed the glass. 

“Can’t say they don’t know how to entertain a guest,” Harley squealed as she migrated to the SodaStream. “They got homemade cream soda!” 

Cass jumped off the sofa to run after Harley. 

Instead of facing you, Helena took a heavy seat on the couch. Her legs spread out, looking spectacularly muscular in her tight, black pants. 

Unfortunately, you’re too annoyed with her to go lounge in her lap. 

As much as you’d like to make amends, you know the only way to do that would be to back down. You’re going into that rink.

The door flew open at the second Harley had poured herself and Cassie a drink. 

Carmen Rossini strutted in and you stared in awe. You tried not to let your jaw drop. Tall, voluptuous. Her hair is wavy auburn, her eyes deepest green. 

She looked at you immediately. Reaching out for you as if you were the messiah, she chuckled. “You’re even cuter in person! Oh, sweetie, you––you do know how to drive a hard bargain. Your agent Harleen contacted me, where is she?” 

Harley waved her hand from the corner. “That would be me. Ain’t Y/n a real figure?” 

Scowling, Helena crossed her legs. She glared up at Carmen, and you remembered that Carmen is doing what Helena hates the most; complimenting you. 

It’s not so much that Helena doesn’t like that you receive compliments; it’s just that she prefers giving them to you. 

“I’m so happy to see you all here tonight,” Carmen said, clapping her hands loudly. “There’s nothing more exciting than tonight’s event. Did you know,” she cooed as she ‘boop’ed your nose, “that I’ve got people betting about two million dollars that you’ll win? I am so, so pleased that you’ve chosen to make your debut in my arena.” 

You nod, your neck stiff. “I guess I’m excited?” you mumbled. 

Carmen snapped her fingers. She signaled to one of her lackies to come forward. A box Is presented at your feet. 

“I hope you don’t mind, but I brought you a little something. A uniform of your own, courtesy of moi. Don’t you love it? I had your photos analyzed by a fashion expert, and they designed your shorts to compliment you perfectly.” 

The high waisted, Thai shorts are a deep ivory shade, with black flowers sewn into the design. They’re the most beautiful Thai shorts you’d ever seen! Your own were cute, but simple, considering that you didn’t usually think to be a fashionista while working out. 

“They’re amazing,” you admitted. Over the top? Definitely. Did you expect anything else? Honestly, you’re not sure. You weren’t sure what to expect. 

“Oh! I almost forgot.” Carmen, as she smiled, reached into the deep pocket of her red silk kimono-blouse. In her hands is a thickly wound prajoud, made of fine threads and paracord. The black and red jumped out at you like an old friend.

“I hope I got the rank right?”

“You did,” you say as you took the prajad from Carmen. “I could have brought my own if you’d asked.”

“It’s really not a big deal, my darling,” Carmen purred. She ran her hand through your hair, taking note of the silky feeling of each strand. “I will be watching. There will be people outside the door waiting to escort you to the arena when you’re done dressing.”

Her fingers are heavy with her bejeweled rings. The heavy tear shaped gems get tangled in your hair.

“You have ten minutes,” Carmen adds.

Helena glowered after her as she flitted out of the room. Her heels clacked down the hallway following the click of the door shutting in place.

Montoya took a long drag of her cigarette before she  chortled.“You just gonna let her mark her territory like that?”

Helena didn’t say anything.

“Oi, Katniss,” Harley said loudly.

Helena’s cloudy eyes finally look to her friend. “What?”

“Carmen Rossini basically stole Y/n from you, and you let her!”

As you pulled out of your jeans, you sent Harley a little glare. “No one owned me to begin with,” you snapped.

“Hey, I’m all for women’s rights,” Harley exclaimed. “But it just seemed like—,”

“I know what it seemed like,” you snapped. “That’s the entire goddamn point, isn’t it? Get in her good graces?”

Case choked back her soda. “If that’s your idea of getting in Carmen’s creepy ‘good graces’ you gotta do better than that. You didn’t act sexy or flirt back at all!”

Helena stood to her feet. She brushed down the front of her black zip-up sweater. “I’m waiting outside,” she declares before stomping out with a frown wrung on her mouth.

Harley grimaced as the door slammed shut.

“Kid, come on,” Montoya sighed.

“I’m right,” Cass scowled. “You know that I am. We knew from the start that in order to get the little girl back, sexual favors would probably have to be granted.”

You pulled up your shorts. “Can everyone shut up?” You asked.

“What’s that?” Cass proceeded to ask, given she couldn’t talk about Carmen anymore. She pointed at the arm band that lay over the counter.

“Prajoud,” you tell her. Thank you pulled out of tour shirt. The heavy duty sports bra was already in place, but it gave you major uniboob.

“What does it do?” Cass asked again. Unable to contain her curiosity, she grabbed it off the vanity and fiddled with it. 

“It’s like a belt,” you explained. “Instead of wearing a black belt, I wear a black prajad.” 

“Who come up with that?” Cass asked. 

“Uhm, Thai people?” Harley said as though it should be obvious. She snorted and jerked her thumb towards Cass. “Get a load of this guy.” 

You rolled your eyes. “It’s alright to ask questions, guys, just try not to be annoying. ‘M a little stressed out already.” 

Harley took a final gulp of her soda. “Well, I guess we know who’s not getting action tonight. And that’s Y/n!” 

“Why is Helena so upset anyways? Because Carmen was flirting?” 

“No,” Harley explained. “See, she’s angry because Y/n’s going out and doing this fight, one, without asking her to begin with, two, for some other little kid, and three, with a evil Italian mafia tigress. She’s projecting her childhood fear that she’ll never be able to protect anyone she loves. She’s also rash, irritable, and possessive, so it’s just a cherry on top that the plan includes Y/n using her charms to sway Carmen.” 

“Bravo,” you plainly say. “It’s almost like you’re a doctor or something.” 

“Yeah,” Harley grinned. “Or something.” 

You pulled the prajad over your forearm. You pulled the band tight, holding the laces in your mouth so you could knot it tight with one hand. You looked in the mirror, unsure of what to think of yourself. 

You kicked your boots off next. 

In socks, you turned to look at Harley and Cass. “Let’s do this,” you sighed. 

Helena had been waiting loyally outside, leaned up against the jamb. Her eyes flitted up and down your figure, before rolling up towards the ceiling. “Let’s do this,” you said, sounding as if you’d already lost. 

Marching down the hall in tow of the honey blond Italian, you tried to make eye contact with Helena. She was good at ignoring you. You’re not sure if it’s because she’s angry, stressed, or both. 

Riddled with anxiety, you wish that she would look at you, or hold your hand at the very least. 

At the entrance of the arena, you could see it was filled massively to the brim of its walls. You hadn’t realized how far underground you really are until you looked at the expansive seating. The rink’s seats filled massively, stretching to every wall that bounced the cheering back and forth. 

You stepped to the stairs that wound up to the cage. You could smell the sweat and the matts; above the sound of the crowd cheering, you could hear your blood rushing fast in your ears. 

“Find Ayala,” you muttered in Harley’s ears. “I don’t want to be here longer than we have to be.”

Her blue eyes sparkled with mischief, but they were momentairly dulled by a silent question. “I thought...?”

“No,” you said firmly. “We shouldn’t be here any longer than we have to be,” you tell her. “I’ll stay here, I’ll do my thing; you take everyone and look for that girl. If you’re not done by the time the match is over, I’ll distract Carmen.” 

Harley couldn’t respond by the time you were dragged up the stairs. Outside the cage’s gate, you were given a little table at which you could rest at. It had a pitcher of ice water, some glasses, a washcloth, and a bottle of brandy. You took a large drink of the brandy first. You peeled off your socks. 

It felt like a blur as you stepped into the cage. 

Your opponent was your size; she looked your weight, too. You suppose that’s fair, at least. It’s not like in the movies. The real competitions are done by weight and height. 

You turned your head to give one last glance to your friends. 

Helena stood beyond the cage, her hand resting over the gun holster. Her eyes were fixated on you. 

You had to look away. 

Tying your hair up in a tight bun, you walked out onto the mat. Your opponent did the same; meeting you half way, you two shook hands. 

You didn’t exchange names; that would only make it harder. 

“The rules,” a voice boomed around the stadium, “are there are no weapons to be permitted in the arena. Please watch as the fighters return to their corners then begin the match on the sound of the bell. The match will consist of two rounds, each lasting seven minutes.” 

You hovered in the corner of the cage. You stretched and jogged in place. You have enough training for this. You do. You know that you can do it; hopefully, you will. 

The bell rang. You take a massive sprint out into the middle of the ring where your opponent had already paced out. 

You wound up a punch. Your feet lifted off the mat as you leap into the air, and you delivered the blow to the side of her face. 

Her teeth crunched under the impact. It was such a hit that you saw it spew out of her mouth, and hit the cage. 

The crowd exploded into a frenzy. 

Hovering at your face your hands remained in constant motion. Her kicks were well calculated and her movements tactical. She gave away all of her tricks, though, by looking twice at the target she would next go for. If she looked at your side once too many times, you would crouch and use your arms to block your ribcage. 

The sweat that built up made the more precise attacks difficult. Your punch began sliding off her face, keeping you staggering forward, and in her wide open range. 

You were struck once, twice, then thrice on your left cheek. It sent blood and saliva dribbling down your chin. 

Your prajad began to slip as you struggled to regain your balance. 

The girl’s long leg extended forward. Her foot jabbed a strong thip into the center of your stomach, practically digging against your bladder. 

The bell rang, then, marking the end of the first round. 

You fell into your corner with a wheezing gasp. You crawled for the little table. You drank directly from the pitcher. 

You looked back to the crowd, half expecting to see a flash of unfamiliar faces. 

Helena still remained at the ringside. Her hands are clenched through the cage, and her eyes are desperate to meet yours. You were confused. Why hadn’t she left with Harley? Did Harley not need her? Or did she want to stay and watch? 

You felt stronger with her just a few yards away. 

You staggered to your legs, where your knees wobbled like jello on a plate. 

The two minutes of rest time had ended, and the bell rang once more. You slid back rather than go for her first. 

She sauntered to you like a bear, her shoulders hunched and her fists close to her face. She swung hooks and uppercuts that you could just barely dodge. You were close to slipping backwards a few times. 

“Y/n, watch out!” Helena shouted suddenly. 

You couldn’t see the girl racing towards you like a battering ram through your blurry vision. Her fist slammed over your temple. You swore you could feel your brain tumbling around your skull as you fell to the floor. 

You clutched your ear with your bare hands. Pain gushed out of you like water. You thought you could see it, visibly, as it poured down bright green and crystalline. 

It wasn’t there; it was the spots dancing in front of you. Disorientation is a real bitch. 

One tactical standup later, you’re back up on your feet. You pushed yourself forward, forcing the remaining energy you had out of your hands. You grabbed the girl by her long pony tail and dragged her into a tight clinch. She attempted to swim out of it; the friction of her wrists against your neck burned. 

You tugged her down, driving a sharp knee into her stomach. She stayed in your clinch for a long time, gasping for air as she couldn’t evade the knees. You finally released her. She staggers back. She falls onto her ass, visibly shaken up and at a loss for breath. 

The crowd began to scream at you. Some did a countdown, others urged the other girl to get back up. 

It was too late for her. 

The bell rang, marking the end of the seven minutes, as well as the second round. She had lost, and you had won. 

You limped towards her. Despite your own pain, you lifted the girl onto her feet. 

“Good game?” she rasped. 

“Hell yeah,” you wheezed. 

It felt like the ultimate orgasm to go back and gulp down the water. The cold, damp washcloth made a good compress for your busted lip. You judged by the twitching of your left eyelid that you had a pretty sizable welt there. 

Helena ran to meet you as you limped down the stairs out of the cage. She threw her arms around you tightly. “You’re alright,” she gasped. 

You tried to hug her back. Your arm hung loosely over her lower back as you tried to laugh. “Did you doubt that I would be?” you asked her. “Where’s Harley and Cass? Montoya?” 

“They went to find the girl,” Helena said in your ear. “I couldn’t leave you...I had to stay and watch. I had to make sure.” 

She pressed a kiss into the crook of your neck. “Let’s go,” you said firmly, “before Carmen comes for us.” 

Helena helped you leave the arena. By the time you vanished, the stadium was already announcing it’s second match, featuring a woman named Selina. The people went into a hectic frenzy of excitement when Selina’s name was announced over the speakers. You knew as you were walking out she would never be able to escape this place. 

Honey-blond-haired Italian guy jogged to keep up with you. “Miss Carmen asks that you wait in the dressing room,” he called out. “Yeah, yeah,” Helena called out. “We’ll be there.” 

He followed you down the hallway, keeping several paces back to maintain a steady watching distance. He paused as he watched you and Helena head straight into the dressing room. 

Sitting on the sofa inside is Harley, Cass, and a little girl sleeping in Harley’s arms. You were shocked. For a four year old girl, Ayala was incredibly small and fragile looking. Her olive skin and auburn hair is just like her elder sister’s. The hollows beneath her eyes are dark and colored by her greenish veins. 

“Let’s scadadle,” Harley hissed as she rose to her feet, though struggling to keep Ayala in her arms. 

You all rushed out of the hallway, quickly as to make it before Carmen could come back from the arena. 

“Where’s the exit?” Cass asked. 

“It’s this way,” Helena says. She pointed straight down the hallway. “The car’s waiting for us above the trap door.”

“Yeah, unless someone stole it,” Cass mocked. “What if we get locked in? Like in Hotel California?” 

You could hardly begin to understand what Cass was saying. Her words were jumbles of sounds and her figure a blur of her dark hair and red jacket. 

“We’re not getting locked in,” Harley exclaimed. “Let’s just get outta here!” 

Helena climbed up the ladder first. She punched the door up, then open. “Give me the kid,” she said quietly. 

Harley struggled to lift Ayala up. 

Helena scooped her easily into her strong arms. Ayala stirred awake and whined as she became more and more aware. “I want to go home,” she mumbled, her voice quiet and empty. 

“We’re taking you home, pumpkin,” Helena assured the little girl. “I’ve got you.” 

As Cass was going up the ladder, a loud clatter arose down the tunnel. “Uh oh, spaghetti-os,” Harley whistled. She pushed you up the ladder next. “I’ll meet you guys up there,” she promised, sounding entirely confident. “Montoya,” she whistled between her teeth. “Feel like doing some target practice?” 

It was the first time all day that Montoya smiled. 

As you climbed up, you heard Harley’s shrill laugh between the shots of two, little handguns.

“Into the car,” you wheezed to Cassie. She looped her arms around your waist to help you limp into your seat. “Buckled in?” you heard Helena ask the little girl. She looked so shy despite all that’s going on. The curls of her hair were brushed behind her ear as Helena held her tightly. “You’re going back to your parents.” 

Harley came running out seconds later. “Let’s get this show on the road,” she exclaimed. 

“You have the keys!” Cassie shouted back. 

Harley jumped into the drivers seat. She honked the horn loudly. “Renee, let’s move it!” 

Montoya was limping a few feet away, struggling to keep up Harley’s pace. She crawled inside and as soon as she did, Harley pressed the gas, and sped away. 

“Smoking is so bad for you, you know that, right?” Harley chastised. “Maybe if you just used the nicotine patches I bought you for Christmas, then you wouldn’t have so much trouble keeping up with us.” 

“Take the patches,” Montoya huffed, “and shove them up your ass.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh. You leaned back into the headrest of the rear seats. Helena held Ayala beside you, stroking her hair gently as she held her cellphone to Ayala’s ear. Her parents were on the other end, and you could hear the cries of relief. 

You met Helena’s gaze, and you managed a smile on your busted mouth. 

“I love you,” you mouth to her. 

“I love you, too,” she replied. 

[callmesteve]

sneak peak at what i’m writing?

for real this time, sghlidugh. 

so, that post i just posted? yeah, i started a rough draft. here’s the first half! (not really any dami yet, sorry folks :((. also, note: i’ve made jon and damian the same age, i think there’s an age gap normally, but this works better for me.) 

do i continue it?

(fic below the cut)

Dick and Bruce go back in time to save Damian before he was killed. They end up in the wrong time. There’s so many ways it goes wrong.

Dick crosses through the portal to dusty air and ashes scattered amongst the ground. Buildings crumble around the torn up street. Markings all over the remains of Gotham tell Dick all he needs to know. Green and red spray paint curl heavenward in a sick imitation of Joker’s manic grin. When he hears Dick grunt, he whirls around, already gesturing to their belts. “We’ve hit the wrong time,” he says, voice carefully low. “I think we went forward, not back.” 

It’s just like Bruce said, before they left. Time travel is a fickle thing. There’s no right way to do it with the resources they’re working with. Plus, it doesn’t really help that ever since Bruce’s whole incident with Frankenstien, Tim’s been hellbent on not helping their efforts to get Damian back. 

God, Dick knew this wasn’t going to work. There had been too many variables in the beginning. Too many what if’s, too many maybe not’s. 

He just had to agree to go with Bruce anyway, hadn’t he? 

With a groan, he drops his head into the palms of his hands. Ever since Damian died, all Bruce could think of doing was bringing him back to life. He hadn’t been like this with Jason, but with the knowledge that Jason had managed to come back to life- Bruce took it and ran and somehow ended up coming across time travel. Their plan was simple. Go back to the fight that took Damian’s life far too early, stop Heretic before he was able to slide that sword through his little brother’s chest. They’d open themselves a new life where Damian lived and breathed and-

And Dick swallows a sob, fixing his domino mask to make sure it covers his teary eyes. He was just like Bruce, in the end. All Dick wanted was to wrap his arms around Damian one last time, to hold him close and breathe in that stupid strawberry shampoo Dick decided to buy him. Why wouldn’t he want to help Bruce with this? Dick and Bruce, although they both avoided the conversation, knew that Damian and Dick were closer than the title of brothers allowed. (Father and son fit better, Dick dares to think.)

“Should we stop by the Batcave in our time?” Bruce questions, as he fiddles with his wrist computer. While the actual portal-opening-thing-a-ma-jigs were attached to their belts, all the information they needed rested in their batcomputer’s archives, for Alfred to monitor over. “Or should we just skip to the next time we have queued up?”

Home rests on the tip of Dick’s tongue. They’ve only just started this time travel task, and Dick already feels weighed down by his grief. He’s still mourning, naturally. At this rate, he knows he’ll end up compromised by the time they make it to the time they’re shooting to find. All he wants to do, (besides save Damian and hold him again), is to go home to the manor, make tea, and cry as Mean Girls plays in the backgr-

“You’re not Batman,” someone scoffs, voice laced with a pout. They sound offended, almost, and- And Dick knows that voice. It’s older, sure, but- “It’s rude to pretend to be a dead man- and to dress up as someone who’s still around. I think. Technically. Okay, okay- Didn’t your mom’s ever teach you not to play pretend as dead men, guys?” 

Dick’s eyes shoot up, to a familiar little getup. The red cape, cropped so it doesn’t pass the knees, the ripped jeans still baby blue, the same old Superman t-shirt, long since faded. Beat up converse, double knotted on his feet. He’s a few years older and a whole lot taller than when Dick last saw him, but it’s all the same. 

Jonathan Kent stands before Dick and Bruce, hands folded across his chest. 

Dick still remembers the days that Jon and Damian raced around the manor, (and the penthouse, while Bruce had disappeared). Years ago, Clark had decided it’d be a good idea to get the two to be friends, given the fact they were around the same age. It’s just a shame that they never got the chance to grow up as complete heroes together. Him and Damian had been close- really close. Their time’s Jon was still torn up about Damian’s death. 

This Jon blinks as he takes in Dick and Bruce, before tutting an all too familiar tut. “I’m gonna have to bring you guys in to the base. No running away.” He purses his lips, regarding Bruce closer for a moment. “B-boy doesn’t like it when people do that. It always attracts the Joker’s attention, and we don’t need that.” 

Dick looks back to Bruce, and they both share a nod. No confrontation until Heretic- not unless it’s totally needed. That was their agreement. Besides, from Jon’s reaction of them, this time’s Nightwing and Bruce-Batman are obviously dead. It’s a dull thought, considering that Jon’s only a few years older. Dick can admit that he’s at least curious about who dawns the cowl now, though. Dick had done it last time- Jason probably refused to this time, too. Especially with Joker leading this whole thing.

Tim, then? He’ll be the smartest Batman there ever were, that’s for sure. It’s just a shame he had to do it so young. 

A pit forms in Dick’s gut. If Bruce, Dick and Damian are dead, there’s a big chance that all Tim really has left is Alfred. (God, Dick hopes Alfred’s still alive.) 

“We’ll go,” Dick says, raising his hands in the air. “You’ve just got a misunderstanding about us, is all. We’ll clear it up and explain it to- uh- B-boy?” 

B-boy could mean Beast Boy, really, but Dick’s pretty sure it’s just Batman. He’s confirmed as correct when Jon amends with, “Batman. He’s so uptight and serious now-a-days. We like to make fun of him- All friendly teasing, y’know- But- You probably shouldn’t- He’ll feed you to Ivy’s plants the next time she decides it’s time to swarm the city.” He winced at his own words, the nod to Ivy sending the conversation and joking cold. 

Dick has a feeling the new Batman might just be Jason. Prickly and serious could fit with Tim, but- Hey. Who knows. Grief and mourning do things to people that you can’t always explain. Time travel included. 

Jon leads them by the wrists after slapping cuffs on their wrists. They’re the plastic kind you can buy in toy stores for your kids to play with, but they’ve been modified and bulked up with metal, steel and tech. The locks have been changed from a key to a fingerprint scanner. When Jon’s fingers brush over it, the little screen beeps red. He clearly can’t unlock it. (The Bruce-influenced part of his mind thinks that it’s good- if he needs to, he can put a pair on Jon and not need to worry about him getting out. They seem pretty solid. Though, there’s always the chance that he could break out, Super-something’s always seem to surprise him.) 

“These are pretty high tech,” Dick remarks, more for the sake of something to say and to focus on, than to learn about the cuffs. Not that it’s not cool, or important to hear about. “How’d you guys make them?” 

“I’m not as dumb as I look,” Jon scowls. “I won’t hand away free information just because you think I’m stupid and easy to trick.” 

It’s a completely valid concern. Dick gets to work shooting it down. “We’ve been compliant! If I wanted to cause trouble, I would’ve already. As soon as we get to Batman, we’ll explain that this whole thing was a mistake and that he doesn’t have to worry about us! Or- Me, at least.” He gestures to Bruce. “He’s pretty shifty. We’ll be fine.”

Surprisingly enough, Jon gives. “B made them,” he half-beams. Tim then. “Only his fingerprint is recognised. Way too many times have we had traitors in our midst that free our prisoners, or just plain old teammates who are super gullible. He was gonna let me be one of the only other people, besides- uh- someone else. But.” He adopts a sheepish grin. “Stuff happened, I guess. It was really bad. I trust his judgement, though!” 

“If he’s good, then all power to you,” Dick grins back. 

Bruce hunches his shoulders. “What the hell happened to Gotham?” he asks, and Dick winces at his wrecked tone. It’s their city, to be reduced to ash in a few years time. There’s no point in asking the year instead, anyhow. Jon’s no older than sixteen now, no younger than twelve or thirteen. They can take a pretty good guess. “We were just here-” Bruce pauses, piling on an alibi fast. “-a few years ago.” 

Nice save, B.

“B always says a lot can happen in a few years! You’d be surprised. And- Everyone’s heard of the old Batman’s loss at the hands of the Joker and his Arkham crew. He didn’t die in the battle- He came close. Present day Batman took up the cowl while the villains reaped their spoils of war. Old Batman died pretty soon after that. Health complications, I think?” Jon hums. “I thought you might’ve been posing as the old Batman. I guess I was wrong then, since you didn’t know?” 

“I’m not posing as anyone,” Bruce grinds out. Dick chokes back a laugh, which goes sour as soon as he grumbles, “Fuckin’ Joker.” 

Dick steps over a stray piece of rubble on nimble feet. “See?” he whispers to Bruce. “You should’ve let Lil’ D beat up Joker when he had him in that damn room.” He scowls low, matching Bruce to a near perfect T. The Joker has messed with their lives way too much, at this point. 

Jon stiffens. 

Shit. 

The Supers have super hearing, and Damian’s still probably a sore spot for everyone. 

Just before Dick can question about Nightwing’s death, on rolls to a stop. “Close your eyes,” he says, tacking on a sorry soon after. Dick obliges. He hopes Bruce does too. Jon drops their hands, but reaches back a moment later. Something rolls open. He doesn’t tell them to open their eyes, so Dick keeps them close. Jon leads them forward, and immediately, Dick recognises the smell of the place they're in. Musty, damp. The Batcave. They’re using the cave as their base of operations?

Of course they would. 

“Hey, B-boy!” Jon yells, before saying, “you can open your eyes.” 

Dick does, expecting the same old vave. What he gets is something nearly three times larger. There’s more space in the center, lined with more vehicles that Dick cares to count. They’ve all got a reoccuring theme- Beat up, covered in spikes and neon green spray paint. Undercover vehicles, no doubt. The Batcomputer ahead has grown a few sizes, monitoring different sectors of Gotham and others displaying some of Arkham’s more dangerous ex-patients. Bane’s profile is marked with a deep red stamp, right over top his picture, that reads off deceased. 

The glass cases hosting the Bat-clan’s fallen uniforms has been moved, now showing Bruce’s old cowl, Dick’s Nightwing uniform, and so many others he can’t name. One’s nothing more than a brown one piece with orange stripes on the side, gloves and a mask. Towards the end is Damian’s old Robin outfit, shoved over there like it doesn’t even matter. It should be in the dead center with the rest of the Batfamily’s fallen members, Dick thinks, and makes a note to yell at Tim/Jason/Batman for it. Family should stick together, even if it’s only their old legacies that stay by each other's sides. 

The other platforms scattered around the cave’s walls are hard to see. There’s more than there used to be, all covered with discarded training weapons and dummies, with cots for sleeping. What an upgrade. 

“B-boy!” Jon tries, cupping his hands around his mouth “I know you’re here! We’ve got prisoners!” 

The voice that responds is low, older, but not overly so. It can’t be Tim or Jason- then who? “Then send them to the cells,” this Batman says. “Why on Earth do I-” 

Oh, Dick knows the exact moment that Batman sees the two of them. Is it really that big of a crime to dress up as Nightwing or Batman around here? Jeez. 

“Take off those damn masks,” Batman hisses, dropping from his perch atop one of the lower platforms. He’s- He’s tiny. Smaller than Jon by nearly a whole foot! “How dare you tarnish the fallen’s legacies like this! Did the Joker put you up to this? Harley? Catwoman’s not normally this cruel.” 

“We can explain,” Dick defends. Bruce gives him a grunt and that’s all the conformation that Dick needs. He tears off his mask. Bruce pulls down his cowl. 

Jon recognises them immediately, taking half a step back. “Mr. Wayne?” he says, soft. “And- And Dick-? They weren’t- You two weren’t imposters-? How did you survive? We saw both of you die-” 

Bruce steps up, holding out his cuffs to Batman. “We’re not your Batman and Robin,” he explains. “Not yet. We’ve come from the past. A miscalculation while trying to travel through time brought us here.” He waves his wrists. “Now, Batman. If you’d be so kind as to let us know who decided to carry on the cowl? You aren’t Tim or Jason.” 

“B-” Jon whispers, and it sounds wrong. “You should-” 

“I know,” Batman interrupts. He reaches out, pulling off his glove, and unlocks Bruce’s cuffs. He does the same for Dick, with shaking hands. Then, his hand snakes up to his mask.

“You don’t have to,” Jon reminds. 

“I know.” 

Batman pulls off his cowl. Glassy green eyes- for the first time in near months- peer right back at Dick.

[elizabethrobertajones]

14x04 watching notes

Happy Birthday, Davy!

-

Mittens just ominously warned me to warm up this notepad while I waited for the episode to finish downloading.

The nice guy from the phone provider has recently restored our internet after 4 days of radio silence from me, but it's only about 4'o clock on friday, so really some good timing!

Expectations: pre-mittens warning, Davy back on his nonsense with the scary episodes and expected nonsense of sinking back into MotW after mytharc but in capable hands because, you know, new writing team is aces and all.

post-mittens warning: idk but I should get a stuffed toy?

-

That's a suspicious amount of ghost lore.

Has Heaven started dumping the spirits out now and if it really IS a ghost it's not going to behave properly?

-

Oh my god it's a Hell Hazers poster.

There was something I would have talked about pre-episode but had no internet so didn't, but the focus on Dean and nerds and the expectation that this episode would be about a comic book store, did remind me of 9x07 and the action figure which was all "i clobber evil!" and was a strong Dean mirror, including that he needlessly burned it on the stove to try and get rid of the ghost of the mom but it turned out she needed to be talked into letting her son let her go in a scene which has all sorts of shades of Dean vs Mary in 12x22 now and also Dean's entire mark of cain arc was in the self-destruction of his self as an action figure that clobbered evil. A reminder that Dean is this figure seems fairly timely with him coming down from being possessed, as of course he has been used as an action figure. And his willingness to turn himself into one in 13x23 was very much turning himself into the Michael Sword, which in this cosmos is practically like the rarest collectible action figure of the universe. This harks back all the way to the first season and Dean's issues with John's control and the whole blunt little instrument arc, also something that fed directly into demon!Dean, and is being reflected this season in Nick, who murdered a guy with a hammer, after his family was murdered by a hammer, and said yes to Lucifer because of all that angst about hammer murder. Subtle.

Anyway, this is sort of the emotional background to me for action figures in the show.

A Hell Hazers poster also reminds us that Dean is a horror fan, his own connections to the genre, a CLASSIC episode, and a time when he was living his best life briefly.

You know, before he sold his soul for *waves at previous big paragraph* reasons

Fitting for how season 13 ended with Dean this close to happy world peace retirement living his best life :P

-

Awww the fake movie the MotW comes from is called All Saints Day. Davyyy :')

People I know who are born on like October SECOND consider themselves extra spooky halloween people. I can only imagine what it does, as a 23rd Oct. birthday person, to the psyche to actually be born ON it.

This episode's subtitle is just "Lol I have the best birthday, fuckers"

-

ACTUAL CLIP FROM 2x18!

And the fucking racist truck >.> Which in-universe was teased as another different movie using the footage in the trailer for Hell Hazers II.

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My mum has that exact Wonder Woman figure

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This guy is wearing a trenchcoat-featured jacket with a maroon t-shirt under it. I could not tell you what he represents but the trenchcoat part is amusing.

I can't *actually* start saying everything is party!Cas symbolism though so I'll just shush

-

Er this rando that people were saying was dressed like Sam from the promo images literally is called Sam, and she's wearing a very very loud checkered shirt, of course featuring a lot of orange. I'm guessing with that info it's next to impossible to say she ISN'T in some way a Sam parallel :P

Comic Book Guy is possibly caught in the middle of stealing an action figure, and I can't work out if he is just nervous about that or has a crush on Sam because his behaviour was so suspect, but from the promo scene where he looks a lil worse for the wear he talks about breaking up with his goth gf, and Sam is very clearly a nerd, not a goth.

(Goth nerds are things. The media will get there one day :P)

-

Oh okay after a few lines of the exchange, yeah this guy is a dick, I have NO clue why he's wearing that coat symbolism wise, and Sam really ought to fire him because wow, uncool and also he seems to be a stereotypical nerdbro gatekeeper who would literally rather scare off customers but be right than just enjoy what they all enjoy together.

-

Then he apologises for getting angry for saying he just gets spun out sometimes. Honestly, this seems to be crossing over into Dean territory considering the last thing from the recap was Dean being told he was like Michael by Bad Kaia and being really angry when he said he was nothing like him... He also used "spun out" about himself in 12x20 but in rather more tragic lost-Cas circumstances but obviously this parallel has a different lesson to tell than just making them equivalent. This guy is so awful and is using his anger in a petty way over things that don't really matter. He's getting spun out over made up battles rather than real angst, and whether he has his own underlying trauma that makes him behave that way or not, the straight white nerd is one of the secondary main villains of the century so far after the literal alt right, with some overlap of course. Think Kylo Ren as one of the dominant critiques of this behaviour :P Compared to the open of 8x11 for example, where the nerds were harmless weirdoes despite also being straight white and obsessive, the aggression and obsession are played not just as a harmless trait of people who like LARPing and collecting toys, but gatekeep, yell at kids over superman facts, and refuse to have their own dominance challenged.

Thinking he could fight superman might actually explain the Cas like jacket - it's too short to be a coat - that he idealises these heroes, is wearing Batman (who in pop culture most recently was around "v superman") and Cas of course has all his superman comparisons from both 6x20, and his rebirth in 12x01 where he came back to earth as a fiery comet and was immediately mistaken for a spaceman. There's some dark idolisation/mirroring here, that he's debating how to fight the guy (krytonite gloves = the BMoL knuckledusters) and at the same time mirroring the show's Superman in his dress. Only much, much lesser. More subtextual mockery about his weakness and how he doesn't really measure up.

I think in a lot of ways the discourse about nerds in pop culture is moving on now to  make this difference clear, that the ones who will be mocked are the ones who deserve it for being too cruel to respect, while in many other ways the mainstreaming of nerd culture into pop culture, meaning a large amount of it is no longer mockable, that everyone had at least SOME nerdy indulgences, means that in general nerdom is more accepted and exalted than ever. SPN obviously having its own deep roots into nerd culture has some direct room for commentary here, and this is also a way of reminding its own fans to be cool and not to be this guy.

-

Oh, huh, he safely exited the shop. I did not see that coming.

-

LOL he has batman bedding on a fold out bed in either a shed, garage or basement where he lives.

(This detail was tragic in Attack the Block but it's quite clear in this case the guy is fully grown and is being used as a detail to show his forward progression in life)

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Wow, you really have some rage issues here. Especially trying to wrangle free pizza i mean dude. Talk about a line that personifies him 100 different ways in one go :P Who shouts at their pizza delivery place?? They remember your number! This is how to get extra toppings.

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Oh my god please get beaten to death by this lil guy

(I know I know he survives he's in the promo)

Is this like... haunted kidney episode... but better?

Actually, Fallen Idols plus Mannequin episode but better.

-

You know how we saw in the last new year? Watching Small Soldiers for the first time since like the 90s or whenever it came out

-

The show's animation is so much better

Than Small Soldiers and itself from past years

-

Oh DEAN

-

I mean he totally deserves a day off.

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I can't believe he owns these socks. Who got them for him for Christmas?

Okay, well first we have to work out which was the last Christmas they had where they were not in prison or in an alternate dimension or dead or -

-

Cas. It was Cas.

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He literally had no idea this wasn't just a cute commentary on how much Chinese take out Dean eats

-

Anyway as far as I can tell Dean is living out the bisexualdemondean header just to spite Michael for defiling his temple. He's filling it with noods and pizza (and I am sure he didn't yell at the delivery guy, but tipped him well instead for making drop offs at a shady street corner miles from where anyone lives)

-

Honestly it's been 12 years since Hell Hazers II... What took them so long

-

Dean's drunk a full thing of Margiekugle mom beer, which is a lil worrying just in terms of him using it instead of comfort from her like in 12x02, now that she's back.

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God I want Dean to meet the asshole from the comic shop and for him to get into a dick measuring contest about Hell Hazers II and Dean to be like uh I WORKED on it you ass

-

Er, does that vending machine contain the nougat of choice of your consumptive son on the other side of the wall?

(who may be out with Cas concealing his consumption on a case so not bothered by all this TV noise)

-

God I love and have missed Dean, my trashy guy who is sitting hugging a pillow like a teen girl at a sleepover to watch his hatchetman slasher to celebrate being back to himself and get the much-needed R&R, since, you know, last time we saw him he threatened to "break" Kaia and was in a very very bad place (lol)

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This guy about to get murdered for trying to snatch a nougat bar is dressed like the unfortunate bandmate (Tommy?) to Vincifer. Is this an oblique Ladyheart reference to set up a weird scenario where Hatchetman is punishing a Lucifer-adjacent asshole for trying to steal Nougat?

-

I can't believe there's a red exit sign behind him which means Wanek is Waneking in multiple dimensions at once

-

"Mint Condition" flashes up over Dean indulging in his pizza, saying, hey look it's our guy back in shape. Or, you know, ironically so. Either because Dean being Dean means eating junk food and wallowing because his husband has wandered off with the kid and isn't home to snuggle him while he does this mandatory bedrest, or because, of course, Dean is not Mint Condition at all. He's literally and emotionally scarred.

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I am pretty sure this shirt that Sam has on is 12 years old.

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Statistically, they're gonna get murdered in each and every one of their original Kripke era shirts until none of them are available to be murdered in later.

I say for no particular reason.

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Leave Sam alone. He doesn't shave you mock him, he does shave, you... also mock him. He was doing really well while you were gone! No one got even slightly stabbed who didn't deserve it! This is an all-time record. A beard is a price to pay for that.

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Honestly I think Dean is stoned but they're not going to say so but I am treating this scene like it is.

-

"I wanted to check up on you," Sam says, pulling over a chair. This is so like how he was in 14x01 when he was powering around the Bunker being the boss, and given Dean's been on bedrest, again, much-needed, Sam is treating him like another one of his charges, and once more is in a position of authority... But now, despite shaving to act like nothing has changed a bit more, he is the one in charge of Dean as one of his wards. Everything has changed. Your dynamic is actually wobbling in a weird way.

In season 10 when Dean was laid up with the Mark blues especially around 10x12, which this intro also reminds me of, re: Dean spending a week in his room and Sam popping in to check on him, Sam was still keeping a very wary eye on Dean more that he was a bomb that may explode, and that while he needed to be managed, the power dynamic was extremely, extremely horrifying in that if Sam messed up Dean would murder him. Not an ongoing implicit threat between them, but the knowledge that Dean could become a demon again and demon!Dean would attempt to kill Sam, and so Sam had better do his utmost to keep Dean in a good place. Even if it eventually meant a series of convoluted secrets to try and fix him against his wishes.

Obviously, things are different here. Sam has developed a LOT since then, with season 11 beginning a recovery of his character in tentative little steps which actually kicked off in season 12, and, specifically, in 12x04 under Davy Perez in American Nightmare heralding the new era of Sam focus and lovingly stroking his hair and lavishing him with Sam-sculpted episodes the like of which we hadn't seen all through Carver era.

Now when Sam comes into Dean's room and pulls up a chair and sits down to check up on him, he actually radiates a comfortable, competent authority to do so.

... however he is doing it in that pink shirt which I honestly love the concept of but just wish that I couldn't see Sam in 2x06 showing up in it for the first time, like, my brain is just screaming at him to go get a bunch more pink shirts and refresh his wardrobe

I'm so certain of it but now I have to check because 12 years is such a long time but

http://www.homeofthenutty.com/supernatural/screencaps/albums/SPN2x06/SPN_0060.jpg

Mittens yelled "OH MY GOD" when I sent her the link so I think I'm right

Like, conceptually in every way it's great because it's this long pink shirt that fits him well, fuck toxic masculinity, blah blah action heroes in pink shirts, love it love it love it, but also: it's another fucking plaid shirt Sam has owned since he was a gap-toothed child six years younger than Jack presents as

-

Dean is lacking his second bedside table, as he has been for seasons, but I'm just staring at him lying sideways on his bed, wondering about his set up, and if this is in any way similar to how he watched all those cowboy movies with Cas, since Davy, of course, was the one to suggest that they had been watching movies together.

-

"And... not that I'm complaining... House is full of strangers"

Yeah, we know you hate it, Dean. God, it's tragic. In a wonderful way. Sam's built this little empire for himself and it's on top of Dean's old nesting spot. Dean's been forced into his room not just to hide away because he's ashamed but because he doesn't want to be seen and there's too many strange eyes out there. However this resolves, it's going to force some growth. Honestly, as much as Dean loves this room and it means to us, it's also a bleak lonely spot and in the like 7 years they've had the Bunker, Dean's never hooked up in that bed, while it has come to be very much like, well... The bed of an angry nerd living in a basement still using Batman sheets. Again, dark parallels, but of Dean in a dark place.

I'd love if he moved out and got a house in the suburbs.

I mean.

Cas has a house in the suburbs.

(Re: long-running Lizzy watching notes in-jokes about where he stashes a bunch of stuff like demon tablets, first blades, metatron's grace, etc etc)

But yeah, no. I like the idea of Dean nesting, of course. But aside from the obvious conveniences, the Dean Cave, etc, there's no reason it HAS to be here except that this is their inheritance and it's safe. But as I constantly talk about with the library abutting the war room, the work/life balance is always in question and filling the Bunker with strangers is a great way to shove all the life balance out, and leave the only spot left of that to Dean in this room.

If the AU peeps don't all get sent home but remain at least in part a hunter community and maybe even network and grow as the Winchesters finally open up the Bunker's resources and share them and stop being all isolated like Carver era fiercely protected... Dean might have no choice but to move his nesting down the road to somewhere with a sofa where he can park his car out front, and choose to commute in to work.

-

Awww they have the "our lives are a scary movie" argument again, in a well-worn way. So well-worn this is repeating dialogue from somewhere or other... 2x18? 4x07? God I don't know, implicit in Sam's eyerolling at Halloween in 1x01? All of the above? I am not looking that up. But anyway their stances haven't moved, possibly because this is something that has never really been challenged before. If Sam didn't hate scary movies already, watching 18 hours of Hell Hazers II dailies probably did in any remaining sympathy he would have had towards them, while Dean thrived there.

I guess he may finally have had time to watch it?

And of course stay for the credits to see his name.

Anyway Dean has historically cited movies as research or job adjacent, or vicariously enjoyed watching monsters at work from the safe remove of a screen, while Sam throws it all in to that box where of course it goes to 1x01 where he's running away from ALL of it and has his oddly specific choices to avoid halloween in his day to day as Lawboy. He's struggled to indulge in the weird as a hobby, likes serial killers as, as far as we can diagnose, an outlet of darkness but purely human, and keeps the work/life balance in a rather unhealthy way of denial and boxing things away, because so much of his early seasons arcs were about resisting the life and refusing the call. This harks back to their literal first episode characterisations of Dean being all in and Sam being all out and it's interesting to have us back here in season 14, in a period of such deep reflection, when Sam has finally sort of accepted the life, found a niche in the work that suits him as the boss, and Dean is struggling now with retirement questions, and taking a week off, not liking his home full of strangers, etc etc.

-

"More Michael Monsters?" Dean asks immediately quick fire when Sam says he has a case.

He may have taken a week off to indulge in pizza but that obsession lurks under his skin. He's in no way done, though I think perhaps better prepared to enter this case than he had been, though of course he's billed as still struggling.

-

Dean also instantly recognises the Thundercats name, and I'm afraid it's something I'm just not familiar with, that I clearly missed some wave of it when I was younger and it hasn't come back around as an adult... I can't wait to read stuff by people who know more about it and say tragic things about Dean's connection to it. But the important thing here is the dark mirror to the guy who got beat up by the toy, because Dean is being shown as also an enthusiastic nerd who knows the franchise and is excited by this concept and is leaping into a case about it with a "strippers, Sammy. Finally!" level of enthusiasm.

Healthy nerds and unhealthy nerds. But at the same time, Dean might be a better nerd, but his anger last episode is still being examined through this guy.

-

I love that for Sam and Dean, dressing up for Halloween is dressing up like total nerds in a totally different pop culture way - the old appearance of geeks which is wildly outdated but damned if they aren't putting on pocket protectors anyway. It's a caricature but it's one that is at total odds with who they are as people... More of a traditional halloween thing where normally Sam and Dean are really scary people with weapons, so when you make them dress all topsy turvy, they dress like this instead. They ARE halloween costumes, in their day to day.

-

Dean continues watching in the shop, Sam eyes up the Red Hood.

I watched that a million years ago with no idea that Jensen was in it, though I had watched the first couple of seasons at that point. I think it was during my "aww the show was cancelled" phase where it was completely off my radar. It's hilarious to me now, because I don't think I COULD watch it, now I know Jensen's voice so disproportionately well. It would be so off-putting.

-

"She's like your twin."

Sam and Sam both tuck their hair behind their ears at the same moment.

"What are you talking about?"

So. This is going to be extremely subtle.

I hope New Sam survives the episode D:

-

Sam points out the other guy who people were saying based off the promo pics would be the Dean to this girl's Sam with no idea what was to come. He and Dean in this case are both eating lollipops purloined from the halloween candy.

I guess this guy in the All Saints Day t-shirt shares Dean's love of the same franchise, and seems to represent the bizarre venn diagram with Dean on one side and Andrew Dabb on the other. Their nerdy overlap.

-

I feel like Sam is just pointing out this character mirror to be an annoying sibling and wow do I love seeing them like this.

I also feel like there is no way Davy would do this if he wasn't about to troll the fuck out of us with these parallels in some terrifying meta way and pointing out that character parallels are a thing this blatantly is about to be Awful somehow.

-

The Red Hood is staring disapprovingly at them through all of this

-

Anyway of course Dean Parallel immediately recognises Dean's enthusiasm for Hatchetman and encourages him to press the button, which Dean does with glee. I CLOBBER EVIL. Wait no.

Sometimes we do bad things.

Oh dear.

Oh deeeeeeeeeeear.

Yeah, Hatchetman is like... idk, michael!Dean or something. Or some dark part of Dean where all his violence is and this twisted version is almost like the burned result of the I Clobber Evil hero being melted by Dean and - too meta, I am in pain.

-

"Vintage hot wheels!"

I know what you want because I have a smol 67 impala on my shelf. Nyoom.

-

He has an eeny weenie mystery machiney so he can make them race.

-

Okay guy who got beat up by a toy is called Stuart (I am so bad at names, honestly.)

Of course he got kicked out by his roomie for being insufferable about something as pointless as subs vs dubs, and Sam is already apologising for him before they even go meet him.

Considering there's 3 people working at the shop and Stuart had a trenchcoat, but is also being mirrored to Dean, darkly, I feel like there might be some serious shuffling going on here that surface level, Stuart had that Cas marker, but... yeah

-

Heeee Dean stealing the Flash mug and making Sam have the one with the cats all over it. One mug representing Stuart, one representing his mum.

I mean it is Sam's turn to have a relationship with THEIR mom this season. Idk if the mugs are actually symbolic over anything other than Dean living his best geek life right now.

I mean he's added the glasses to his ensemble, he's really living it up.

I hope he's still wearing Send Noods under this

-

Awww it's hot apple cider. What a good mom. This is a perfect halloween drink.

-

*Stuart Rage Sounds from below*

Wow this is subtle that he has some rage issues.

-

"Campbell and sons insurance" Hey remember when I said that this whole season's emotional set up with Sam's ownership of the AU peeps reminded me of season 6 and the Campbells? They also literally are the sons of Mary Campbell, so.

No lies, at least, with some serious stretching of the truth.

-

God, the detail that Dean has played Zelda.

He's being nerdy out loud constantly, and without much fear of judgement. It's wonderful. I guess he's been jostled up enough by Michael that he doesn't really care to hide this random pointless thing that in the grand scheme why should he be ashamed, and also he feels so much worse about other things that this is just an escape to have fun. It also reminds me of last season when he was mourning Cas except that this indulgence Sam is allowing him is co-sponsored by Dean and he's throwing himself into enjoying the smaller things and being more openly Dean-ish than he has in a while. Like, I don't think character comparisons to 8x11 for the nerds is the only way the episodes link :P

-

In 8x11 Dean's initial reaction to LARPing is that it looks awesome, then he corrects at a look from Sam to being more judgy. In 9x04 as scripted, Sam is surprised that Dean want to read Game of Thrones. So idk if that's just Robbie character interpretations since my 2 surface level examples are from his episodes or if that's just been where open nerdery has lived in past years, but anyway. Sam isn't stopping Dean from indulging in the same way - it seems he also recognises Dean's nerdiness and is less threatened by it than before, in the sense that he doesn't feel like Dean isn't acting himself, but now accepts the nerdiness is a part of Dean.

-

"Who needs goth girl drama" dude you are the most awful over-dramatic asshole on the show now Lucifer is dead

-

LOL he's trying to lie about being attacked by a toy now, and Dean points out that he got whooped so thoroughly he was beaten on the back and genitals - so yeah we look at his face and wiiiiince

-

"Lady you wasn't kidding."

-

"Big Bang in there..."

Goodness are we calling out the Big Bang theory for its toxic nerdery? Love it.

-

Sam and Dean halloween costumed as total nerds, still driving around in the Impala. The reverse of someone rolling up in a boring old modern car and, like, a bunch of Draculas get out.

-

Sam can shave off the beard but it can't stop him Bobby-ing

Dean side-eyes this

-

"Yeah, it was Riley, he'll be fine."

"I don't know who Riley is, but cool."

God, I am so into this whole dynamic.

Tell me more, Davy.

-

"So seriously, what is your deal with halloween?"

"I don't like it"

Dean, I am watching this episode on November 2nd, just so you know.

Anyway. This is literally. 1x01's opening adult Sam moment. But Dean's going back to poke Sam about it since he's someone Sam won't lie to in the same way that Sam was concealing his entire being from Jess. I mean this isn't subtle - in 1x01 Dean calls Sam out for doing this. But then, Sam doesn't exactly develop beyond it - in season 8 he does this with Amelia.

Because obviously if Sam is going to move forward and develop there's still things which are not addressed. And if Dean is having his idea of home and work challenged, and his nest disrupted until perhaps he will fly it... Sam has never ever actually addressed his work/life balance in the meaningful way where... like... this was how his difference was introduced when we first ever meet lil babby Sam smiling innocently at us on screen as a kid who has the whole future ahead of him and no idea what torment he's gonna go through. 14 years later, if he's ever going to be a grown up who can handle himself in a relationship and know what is work and what is life and how he can watch halloween movies and not feel personally offended by them but enjoy them as a fantasy and a way of boxing off their world into a safe place they don't have personal responsibility for...

Maybe he might just get a girlfriend who he can tell he is a hunter. Like. Dude. Dean was past that step before the show ever STARTED thanks to his time with Cassie.

-

Sam, also, metaphorically is an angry guy living in his mom's basement, but perhaps in a more metaphorical way where it's to do with living his whole life under the shadow of his mom horrifically dying as a result of the supernatural and being brought up feeling like a freak and just wanting to be normal and all

wheeee

-

Anyway Dean is probing for actual answers so I assume Davy will give us a solution to this this episode, but this is my take on it before we get into it properly.

-

Alternative hypothesis: Davy is personally offended that Sam doesn't like halloween despite it being the best holiday, is determined to fix that and fuck canon, characters can change even 14 years later.

-

"Don't give me this 'every day is halloween' crap because one it aint, we don't eat that much candy"

I have missed Dean and I love him with every fibre of my being, brb I need to vibrate out of existence at the sheer joy of knowing him

-

That was the worst "we aren't here staking out your house" move I have ever seen.

You are professionals who have been doing this together for 14 years

why was that so laughably bad?

-

The youtube comments are so cutting and a bunch of them are unfortunately true. It's self-awareness of using the loser nerd trope but also, cutting in a way because of course Stuart is coming across so much as someone who deserves it - and we're starting to see his mom is sweet and doesn't seem to have caused any trauma in a surface read, and that he was the one who dumped his online gf, and he starts other fights at work or with roomies, so this is getting more and more into territory where he seems fully to blame for his own situation, and therefore you CAN mock him for living in mom's basement, because he PUT himself there, and is single because he chose to be, and so on. The pervading sense that if he was a nicer person, none of this would be happening to him, right down to him stealing the toy in the first place.

-

Oh boy, the bloody handprint on the wall... We are back in handprint territory, and, you know, maybe because SOMEONE walking past it has been scarred on the wrong shoulder by the actions of an angel or something

-

There's a chinese take out carton on the shelf in this basement. I doubt it's a collectible.

Send noods.

-

Okay, that's sort of weird.

-

If the mom is in costume I don't get the reference. I hope someone else has handled that.

-

We're going to get her POV on her loser son now, I guess.

-

"Everything's fine :)" *leaves the room* "everything is not fine!"

Are we calling them out for using "fine" so loosely again too huh?

(Side note: Jack saying he's fine while consumptive, and yeah I am still upset about that. What are you doing to the boy????)

-

Dean and Sam split up and as Sam walks off a nurse eyes him up and smiles. No idea how intentional that was but I mean, can you blame her? :P

-

You know, I don't know anything about this franchise, but Sam just jumped to see a toy of a guy who looks weirdly similar to the vampires that ATE HIM a few weeks ago.

He checks over his shoulder in case Dean manifested at his side just in time to see that

-

Awww Dean and New Dean meet. "he must have awesome insurance"

He calls Stuart's mom "Babs" which is hilarious. They seem close.

New Dean has issues with his dad and Stuart lets him crash with him no questions asked. I suppose Dean isn't going to think too hard about how Sam's choice for his parallel has issues with his dad.

This forgiveness for Stuart's behaviour because he's kind to his own people is a very TFW trait, which makes New Dean more like Sam or Cas forgiving Dean his outbursts, as he's by far the ragiest of them, with Cas trailing in second and Sam the zen fucking master.

-

Lol Dean and New Dean are both dragged into the room to watch All Saints Day 3 like they're being pulled in on a line

-

Oh dear, they're bonding.

Davy isn't usually on top of these things but he's channeling a lot of Edlund today and Edlund always had these sort of guys like Andy or Aaron who are so Dean's type in a harmless shared interests and getting stoned together way. This is a bit extreme with the guy's tininess and scruffiness but you know, we'll see how this develops, if it's an accidental twins or a missed connections soulmate dealio.

... You're taking to someone who's still bitter that Andy and Dean would have been perfect together, so.

-

Also this New Dean guy is demonstrating how to be a Good Fan - he may be as intensely nerdy as Stuart, but he and Dean can compare movies and even though they don't share a favourite, agree that the whole series is great and can see the merits both in each other's favourites, and in another movie that isn't either of their favourites but could be if they happened to be inclined that way.

So healthy :')

-

"It was always nice to check out. I like watching movies where I KNOW the bad guy's going to lose"

Ow ow ow. But yeah, there's Dean's pro-Halloween rationale, that the tropeyness of the genre has its comforts that every ridiculous horror thing is entirely safe and no one is ACTUALLY going to get eaten by any of these things. Which is also how normal people enjoy horror but at the metaphorical remove of being scared by things we may not literally meet but still represent anxieties we might have in our real lives.

Catharsis, yo

-

Sam barges in on New Sam to ask her the usual series of increasingly weird questions which get the "are you really insurance?" eyebrows.

"Downtown Salem" - are they in Salem as in the witch hunt one?

-

I kinda love how New Sam is talking with a speech bubble beside her. So meta.

-

I think New Dean is called Dirk.

-

Oops Stuart wasn't one of the co-owners because he kept getting fired for stealing D: Stuart, dude.

-

"And you hired Stuart back?" "he's my friend"

I think there is commentary appearing here about not just Stuart's unhealthy explosive rage, but that the people around him enable it - even Jordan fired him TWICE rather than banish him forever. The cycle of coddling him without encouraging him to change... Again, this speaks rather more of season 10 and a critique of Sam n Cas from there rather than much currently ongoing with Dean. Sam was complicit in originally abducting Kaia and he and Jody didn't move to stop Dean with Bad Kaia, so though it's in the focus as a critique on Dean's reactions, I feel like the real bad cycles were in Carver era. Though the behaviour still somewhat exists in Dabb era, the overall unhealthiness has declined so much, there isn't a constant oppresive blanket of it as there is here in this shop with Stuart being so awful to everyone and self-destructive.

(It's probably also not a coincidence that this thing has latched onto Dean as well, a la 4x06 I'd guess... Sam got no ghost vibes in the basement, Dean did, and was attacked... To me this is seeming to suggest that his current state has picked up the ghost's ire in the same way in 4x06 he was vulnerable. Loops and loops of things going on so I'll unpick that later if it does turn out to be the case clearly.)

Anyway. This seems to be more about destructive cycles and abusive dynamics, and I would hope a nudge for Dean, though his exile at the start of this episode also suggests to me he knew full well after threatening Kaia that he'd overreacted and needed to take 5, even if there was also a layer of sulking until news of Michael. Her call out was clear enough to make him self-reflect. So I would hope that this episode is here to try and steer Dean's reaction through various pathways, ideally to keep him from falling into anything too awful, as a reminder of where this may lead?

-

Sam sees the glass case freeze over, and pulls out the EMF, playing it off and being like "nothing... carbon monoxide detector" even as New Sam is understandably a little freaked.

Is this messing with Sam's refusal to tell Jess about monsters by having him keep the truth from New Sam until she's physically endangered?

-

I mean, carbon monoxide in enough quantities to make the blatantly homemade gadget go "WHEEE" and light up every single LED is a good enough reason to flee the room

-

"I think you're in danger -" Sam is smacked around the head by Hatchetman because he delayed too long and now he has been knocked out

-

"Samantha?" Sam determined not to let New Sam out-Sam him

-

I mean if she is you then she has been knocked out

-

How does this keep happening to you

how much head trauma has Cas healed over the years?

This is why they have to keep him an angel...

-

"Is this expensive?" "Wha - no don't!" *BOING* *silence* "yeeeah it's shatterproof glass"

HA

-

If Jordan really just wants to kill Stuart for getting them a 1 star Yelp review then this also has a weird shade of 11x07 where the ghost was getting revenge and took a few attempts to kill that one guy, eventually succeeding as the clown.

Except the clown was tuned to freak Sam out

and Dean's probably gonna be thrilled to fight Hatchetman

-

Dean having movie night with new Dean (probably stoned but we can't see it) with comatose Stuart in the middle

incredible

-

2 dudes watching horror movies 5 feet apart with a comatose guy in the middle because they aren't gay

-

Dean is thrilled to fight Hatchetman

I feel like this can't last

-

Davy throws in a gratuitous Halloween moment of Hatchetman walking through the park which is just bedecked in Halloween nonsense

no one cares about him wandering around because it's Halloween

It does make you wonder just HOW much nonsense happening on Halloween really is monsters and stuff out there enjoying themselves because it's expected, which, again, like Sam n Dean dressing up as nerds for this whole episode, having monsters mixing with regular folk and being treated as equals is literally the whole Halloween thing. There's less threat than in 4x07 because we're assuming at this point in the episode that the ghost does have a pretty one-track mind about killing Stuart because with all the characterising nonsense filling the episode the actual plot has been pretty sparse considering we're getting to the final 10 minute run now. So, yeah. This Hatchetman ghost is just out there being a part of the festivities, because that's what happens on Halloween, man

-

LOL And like Sam not telling his double until it was too late, Dean gets this call and is really open in answering in front of new Dean, and now he's filling in New Dean on everything instead of trying to get him to leave or protect him not just from the monster but from knowing about it at all.

-

Davy like, hey, remember when ghosts used to do loads of freaky stuff on this show just to be scary? And maybe it seemed like you all were getting bored of it or something, but hey this guy has no idea after 14 years that he shouldn't leave the salt line when everything starts thumping in the room despite having been warned the ghost is coming...

-

Hehehe Dean gets an axe... The moment of him going to smash it then not and checking if it's open... Whether that was improv or not, it's a good character thing in the sense that Dean is being encouraged not to smash first and ask questions later by the meta plot of the episode

-

Omg New Dean is as brave as our Dean in some ways... He sees Babs in trouble, and immediately is like "HEY" and starts confronting Jordon in Hatchetman

-

"He's MY friend. He's OUR friend." That's an interesting take on my/our, because that statement works on both levels - both that Dirk is protective of Stuart because he cares about him, but also that Jordan has his own investment in not killing Stuart that he should remember. In terms of emotional appeal, the first is confrontational while the second is the deep appeal to the ghost.

Filed in the deep deep deep deep deep flips of the crypt scenes, this moment demonstrates about 3 different kinds of flips, while still holding true to possessing thing out of its right mind confronting loved one

-

Omg the hospital security guards watching the Hatchetman chase a damsel through the hospital while New Dean is chased through THEIR hospital. Talk about dramatic irony and a whole commentary on the metaness of Dabb era in the story reversals and extractions to new levels and repurposing of scenes and narratives...

-

And despite it playing out scene by scene, the guards are laughing at the bad dialogue and pointing out how Hatchetman is so slow, so how can he even catch them, while the damsel slows herself down and badly fakes a trip so that he can catch up to her...

-

"We killed you! You're dead!" "We all do bad things sometimes"

And there we get the context for the cool quote the Hatchetman model can recite - just as how in fandom often things are quoted out of context as lines which seem emotional or special but are actually awful. Just for starters, all the Sam n Dean fans using "there aint no me if there aint no you" when Dean didn't even SAY that. Now we see the context of this line, we see that while Hatchetman really isn't deep, he's at least not just saying it to sound cool and talk about himself, he's judging the protagonist for her behaviour, as well as invoking relative morality. Which brings up some interesting ideas about what Hatchetman considers good and evil, in regards to seeming to have a concept of it but not including kill himself as a good thing to do. Obviously completely wild in context but in the philosophical language of the show, the nature of monsters and all is one huge question, along with if Sam and Dean are murderers themselves, and of course how they have done bad things for good reasons and vice versa.

-

Also I think Sam is about to blow up the door?

-

"I had a messed up childhood" he says, about to blow up a vintage SCOOBY DOO lunchbox to freedom.

SAMMY. Stop destroying symbols of childhood.

At least he's talking freely to New Sam about himself, which is probably already more than he ever let on to Jess. He really wanted to pretend to be well-adjusted to her, that he probably, like, would have rather waited for a locksmith with her than just pick the door to their apartment if they were locked out, you know?

-

RIP Scooby Doo.

-

"Cool" they both say, and share a smile.

It's probably weird to ship Sam and Sam just because the shipname is Sam

-

Dirk went to hide in the fucking Morgue

well done

-

Okay I need the security guards back to comment on how the fuck Hatchetman knew New Dean would come to the morgue with enough time to beat him there AND cover himself in a sheet and play dead.

-

Also before that happened Dean grabbed New Dean by the correct shoulder, and made him jump but aw don't worry it's just your new best friend.

-

Ghost Jordan is still a fucking nerd even in death because rather than talk to them, he presses the button to summon a catchphrase

It's good to know some things never change even when you are a murderous shell of your former self.

-

UGH SIGH DAVY ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO DO THIS TO ME?

(The director might also be to blame)

So now they are cobbling together a fake trailer for Hatchetman, using footage from the show

That is to say, Hatchetman is set on Oct. 31st, 1983, or, of course, 2 days before Azazel ruined everything.

I'm not sure if this shot is from the show because we have so few Halloween episodes that an exterior shot with Halloween elements would have to be faked up, but the house looks very much like the old Winchester house, but with a bigger porch and more dramatic features. It does, however, strongly feature the tree branch shadows over the appropriate wall to make it look exactly like the opening shot of their story, while this is the opening shot of the Hatchetman story.

"David Jaeger was an honest man making an honest living" *generic shot of something being worked on*

*shot of the back of John Winchester's head walking into his garage in 5x13 to discover his boss out cold because Anna is about to attempt to murder him, said boss hilariously visible in the shot if you know he's there*

So. That happened :P Hatchetman is John. That ain't subtle if you recognise the back of his head in a split second. Even if you don't they're casting him as a car mechanic which is of course directly connected to Dean and John.

"Until one night when a practical joke turned deadly"

*footage of the wife spectre-rage killing her husband in the cold open of 8x06 because she was still pissed he slept with someone else on prom night*

I think the burning vehicle was the car from 10x13 that Sam and Dean burned early in the episode, where it was violently reminiscent of them burning the memory of John for some meta reason I can't remember at the time, but definitely inspired a lot of frantic fandom typing.

Of course the ghost in that episode was the classic ragey vengeance ghost which was blatantly paralleled to the path Dean was on with the Mark of Cain, complete with being crypt scened out of it by a trenchcoat-wearing widow.

They're implying he was then burned alive and left for dead and I don't recognise the footage of the burned feet but I assume they're from some episode or another.

Anyway then they go to more new footage from the "actual" hatchetman movies. This one is set on Nov. 1st so it's not even a "Halloween" movie but ACTUALLY All Saint's Day (All Hallow's Eve being what Hallowe'en is a corruption of), Nov. 1 being of course a meta nod to the fact the episode is not even airing on Halloween but Davy just really really really really wanted his halloween episode so shut up and enjoy it :P

Oh, it's All Saints Day III The Reckoning. Because of course it's a reckoning. That's all that happens in Dabb era, reckonings.

-

I am so upset.... I made a joke about 5x05 waaay back, and now it's true because of the whole random thing about Dean's random Axe that was John's that Paris Hilton was going to use to Reckoning him but then Sam murderered her before she could. Now Dean's being reckoned.

-

Okay Dean is a lil dark right now but his come at me bro of "I was hoping you'd say that" and the preceding speech is incredible. I can't believe this show has Jensen except that I CAN believe that with Jensen we go 14 seasons because FUCK he's scary and intense when he wants to be.

-

But he delivered that chilling speech and then had the ghost use a red button to talk to him and then was badass at it

I mean

he can put the terror into ANY situation

-

I am a hysterical laugher, I could not have stood where Dean stood in that moment and taken Hatchetman seriously, even under threat of mortal peril. I once nearly got expelled for hysterical laughing over an untied shoelace that started a rapidly spiralling incident.

-

I love the new fight guy

I love how Dean is spoiling for a fight, and really enjoying how he can push back against this ghost, in a really, really scary way. But in a cold way, not the red hot Mark of Cain way he was dark last time. He's grinning and enjoying this nerdy ass fight, but it's got a vicious streak.

-

I especially love the choreography of Dean smashing Hatchetman around the head with clashes in time to the music followed by an elevator ding as Sam and New Sam emerge in the next scene.

Poetic cinema

-

New Sam guesses the key thing for ghost attachment and Old Sam is impressed.

Careful buddy, they're lining you up for replacement.

-

Dean seems not to have won this fight with the Hatchetman. I bet if Stuart was awake he'd have some useful advice for how anyone could beat him in a fight but especially Stuart, if they knew the correct thing to do.

-

New Dean saved Old Dean! Maybe we can teamwork distract the Hatchetman and win together. Possibly this is a metaphor for... working with yourself...

Is it foreshadowing for a fight later in the season of plot significance, just like in 11x07 Sam got beat up by a clown in a cage, as a not too subtle metaphor for Lucifer? I'd love an in Dean's head kinda nonsense with Mikey.

-

"Dean, key chain!"

TEAMWORK BROS ARE THE BEST BROS

-

New Sam chips in for her part with fuel for the fire.

Everyone high five the Sam or Dean/Dirk to your left

-

Oh, COOL effect of a ghostly spirit burning out of a model Hatchetman, who is unscatched by the ordeal

-

I mean, good, he's probably a really expensive collectible

-

He falls over with a thud, and goes out on a warbling "time to slice and diiiiiiiii" much like "I clobber evil" died on the fire with a last gutteral noise.

Hopefully bookending each other in terms of models with representations in their voices that haunt Dean and all.

-

Dean, unprompted, thanks Sam for getting him out of his funk and giving him an easy ghost hunt to win. I guess what 13x05 was supposed to be is what this actually turned out to be.

(Honestly, giving Davy episodes post-drama to let us all unwind is turning out to be an extremely good idea with 13x06 as well)

-

I am MAJORLY concerned about the time stamp on this episode. It better end in a few seconds and go to a full 3 minute trailer for Hell Hazers III or else.

-

"It was awesome!" "it wasn't really," says Sam, who burst into the room in time to see his brother pinned and choking

-

Sam moves on to confronting Dean with the concept of not just hiding in his room when they get back.

He gives Dean the "OI, CHEER UP" talk we've all been yelling at the screen. Good. Good Sammy.

Dean turns to the camera. "I'm never going to get over it. I'm just not."

Look, Sam, just because Dean stabbed Lucifer for you, and now you are sleeping without fear, doesn't mean everyone has that luxury :P

-"

elizabethrobertajones Oh dear, there's still 4 minutes left er I guess I keep watching .... *grimaces nervously*

mittensmorgul :D just watch it in context with the rest of the episode

elizabethrobertajones um what I didn't get far enough into what happens next to know what you mean so that's super ominous Sam is still psychoanalysing Dean in car NOW yo uhave me REALLY worried.

Hey, remember how I started this episode with a vague warning from Mittens? Why am I now getting the feeling that I still haven't watched whatever that was about?

-

"I'm not doing any good cooped up in my room. So whatever you need, I'm there." ("Chief"?)

-

"Alright, Chief?"

Oh, man. I'm turning into Dean.

-

Also Dean appears to have, finally, ceded power over to Sam. Again, the reversals of season 10 - Sam was put in this position of power he just was not ready to cope with and not with the stakes that were laid against him. But here, Dean might be driving the car but he's putting all the real power into Sam's hands.

-

elizabethrobertajones Is it why Sam hates Halloween because Dean turns out to have set an alarm on his watch to remind him to bug Sam about it again the intrigue you have spun is starting to get to me more than actually watching the episode :P

mittensmorgul oh gosh, I should've just kept my mouth shut. It was seriously just an innocent comment for a nice BM scene :P

-

I am more horrified about the concept of Sam telling an embarrassing story than I am about any amount of slasher and gore. Look, I can Not handle social squickiness and I love Sam and that is going to make this extremely hard to hear.

Dean's gonna love it though, I can tell.

-

Please. Protect. Sammy.

-

"It was soooo bad" he says with a haunted look of a man who has been tortured by the devil

-

Andrea's party got there first

-

"Next year, we're doing halloween right"

Oh no, don't you dare start talking like you're going to be alive and ready for a party next year, Dean Winchester. I will perish in your place to make it happen.

-

BAHAHA Dean coming up with matching outfits and suggests Bert and Ernie, before rejecting that one as too weird.

Yeah, you might not remember but we do

We are never going to let you live it down, in fact.

-

Also, listen, his mouth runs miles ahead of his brain, that was not suggestive until he realised it was and backtracked

-

You also can't go as Shaggy and Scooby unless you go to a party WITH them and they go as you and Sam

-

Thelma and Louise... Dean, stop.

Okay it's hilarious that Davy managed to get both Bert and Ernie and Thelma and Louise into this like... somewhere riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight deep down Dean's consciousness is putting things together. It doesn't remember half the shit he says, but like. Hey. Why ARE those two sets of on screen pairs connected, huh, Dean?

-

Oh, whatever, he's just trying to annoy Sam now

-

Nyoooom

-

IT'S THE SECURITY GUARD

RUN, MAN, RUN

-

Ew, I left it playing to type that and it told me to watch Legacies

-

Well that was the one wrong note in this whole episode so I suppose something had to happen like that :P

[randomfandomimagine]

5K Contest 1st Prize

For @c-taylor-wanna-be-a-glader (sorry for the wait, but thanks for being so patient! :D):

Fandoms: Teen Wolf & Star Wars

Gender to be shipped with: Male

Name: Taylor

Description: Tan skin, hazel eyes. Very long, dark brown, curly hair. I dress pretty casually, t-shirts, flannel shirts, sweaters, jeans. I'm a total geek, and proud of it! I'm fiercely protective of those I love. I'm a very deep person with a good sense of humor. Generally quiet and soft-spoken, but I also have this Chris Evans kind of laugh, and I do it all the time! I'm told I'm extremely happy and optimistic, but in reality I'm a worrier. And I'm a people-pleaser, which constantly gets me in over my head. I love being outdoors, sports, cooking, music and singing, photography, animals, fandoms, drawing, and graphic design.

TEEN WOLF

Lover: Stiles (you’re also a lot like Catori, Taylor!). You and Stiles are so alike that you agree in almost everything. You personalities click together perfectly, you have similar senses of humor (even if yours is a bit more pure and his is straight up sarcastic) and he’s so in love with you. He’s always there for you when you overthink and he’s up to do anything with you, he doesn’t care as long as you’re together. 

Best friend: Scott. While Stiles is closer to you, it’s Scott who has the same view of the world, the one that believes in kindness and in people and the one who prefers to see the silver linings and the good things in life, the small things. That’s why you’re best friends, there’s a different connection than the one you have with Stiles. 

Enemy: Derek. Not that you really hate each other, but he’s the one you clash with the most. Maybe because of your bubbly personality and his kind of pesimistic view of the world. But you can still tell he cares about you anyway.

Other characters: You and Lydia have your moments, most times you get along but you tend to disagree in many things. Liam gets along with you really well, and so does Mason and Kira, even if you’re not extremely close with any of them. Allison is your second best friend after Scott, and you do girly things together but also talking about serious things and help each other out. 

Drabbles

Stiles

Waiting in the hall was the worst, you wished you didn’t have a free period to fill. Honestly, it made you want to go home and forget about the rest of the day’s classes.

A guy was looking you from time to time, standing in front of you and leaning his back against the lockers just like you were. You stared back, wondering where his interest came from.

“Cool shirt” He mumbled, a friendly compliment.

“Thanks!” You looked down to it in an instinct. “I love my Batman t-shirt” 

The boy grinned to himself and walked a few steps closer to you, crossing his arms over his chest just to uncross them again and fidget around.

“He probably likes bananas, right?” He showed you a goofy face. “Na na na na Batman?” 

You let out a genuine guffaw of laughter, definitely not expecting such a silly and absurd joke. Growing self-conscious of your loud laughter, however, you covered your mouth with your hands to suffocate the noise. But he was just smiling. 

“Sorry, bad joke” He awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “I just like your shirt, that’s all, forget about the rest”

“No, it was funny!” You encouraged him, smiling widely. A smile of its own appeared on his lips.

“I don’t think we’ve met” The grin never left his lips even as he spoke. “I’m Stiles” 

“I’m Taylor” You realized he was offering you a hand, so you shook it. 

“You have a terrible sense of humor, Taylor” He winked at you. “As bad as mine”

Scott

You took too long drawing to pass the time, and now you had to rush for class. In your hurry, you completely missed the boy standing in the middle of the hallway. He was facing his back to you and even if he turned around when he heard you, it was too late. None of you were fast enough to avoid the collision.

Both of you fell to the ground, papers flying by in the air as you stopped clutching the folder in your arms.

“Sorry!” You picked yourself up and gathered your notes back. “I’m so sorry!” 

“Don’t worry” He smiled at you and helped you pick up your papers. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah” You heaved a sigh. “I’m just late, can you tell me the time?” 

The boy took a quick glance at his wristwatch and grimaced in anticipation to your response.

“It’s... twenty past” 

“Damn it... It’s so late, I might as well skip it...” 

“At least it’s the last class, right?” He showed you a friendly smile that made you feel a little better. 

You nodded, clumsily fixing your hair, giving up on arriving to class. When you heard the boy chuckle, though, you looked up at him.

“We can hang out for a while, at least until you catch your breath” 

“Sure” You grinned too, realizing you were almost gasping for air. “I’m Taylor” 

“I’m Scott” His kind smile lingered on his lips. “I think we’ve seen each other around in class”

Derek

The situation was tense, and didn’t look too bright. Looking at your friends, you could see the concern and anguish in their faces. Except for Derek’s, you should have known by how people spoke of him. It was the first time you were around each other, but you could tell he was keeping calm.

“We’re screwed” Stiles muttered in annoyance. 

“There must be a way to defend ourselves from the other pack...” Scott said, apparently thinking aloud.

“L-Let’s think positive” You bashfully noted, feeling a bit out of place since you weren’t used to any of that yet. “There’s got to be a good side to this” 

“No offence, kid” Derek glanced at you for the first time. “But you’re not helping, there’s no good side about this” 

“But...” You pouted, looking at your boyfriend Stiles, who in turn stared at Derek.

“Another pack of werewolves declared war on us, how is that good?” 

Immediately, you could tell he didn’t like you. Maybe you were too energetic and optimistic for his like and you were far too different to get along, at least for now.

STAR WARS

Lover: Luke. There’s something special about you two, maybe because you grew up together and you knew each other so well that it was inevitable. But you understand each other like no one else does, you relate to one another and can almost see in each other’s souls and minds. There’s just a unique bond between you and him and you care deeply about one another.

Best friend: Rey. At first you didn’t quite get along because she was a bit distant, but in time you grew closer. You realized you were a bit similar and she saw how kind and cheerful you are and you were suddenly making jokes here and there and you both saw that you trusted each other.

Enemy: Han. It’s not that you’re actually enemies? But you just don’t get along, that’s all. Maybe it’s because your personalities are incompatible and even if you get along a bit better you’re just not friends yet. You notice Han makes an effort for you to like him and makes jokes and all, but you can’t quite bring yourself to be friends with him even if you grew to like him and even if you actually trust him.

Other characters: Poe likes you a lot! You’re kind, funny, smart and bubbly and he loves your energy, so he’s pretty nice and playful to you. Finn is a close friend to you, and you’re always chatting and also trust each other a lot, going to the other for advice when you need it. You and Leia aren’t extremely close, but you have lots of fun whenever you’re together and understand the other really really well. Chewie is your friend also, because even though you don’t speak Wookie you feel like you almost do, like you can understand him even when he isn’t speaking. 

Drabbles

Luke

You smiled as you saw Luke making his way to you, holding something in his hand. Maybe it was the part you had been wanting for weeks, the one missing to finish your droid! He found it! 

“I can’t believe it!” You jumped up and down as he approached you. “Really?” 

Luke reciprocated your smile and handed something to you. The missing part.

“Here you go, Tay”  

“You’re the best, Luke!” You took it from him and observed it, feeling him staring fondly. 

Both living in Tatooine, you two grew up together. To the point that it was so long ago that you barely even remembered how you became friends. And when certain... feelings arised. Truth was, you thought differently about him now. 

You often wondered if he did too, seeing as he bothered to look for something you really wanted and spent so long until he finally found it. Just to make you happy. 

“Thank you so much!” You threw yourself to hug him, making him chuckle happily as he hugged you too. 

Too excited to contain yourself, you kissed him in the cheek as you broke away. You worried that you went too far, but Luke was smiling. Even if he was blushing too.

Rey

You thought it was just another monotonous and hopeless day at Jakku, but you saw something that lightened you up in your apathetic mood. Being stuck there wasn’t fun, and you only ever saw how selfish and cruel people could be. So when you saw that girl refusing to sell that droid even for the food she obviously needed, it made your heart sing with hope. 

You stood up from your shade, brushing the sand off yourself, and approached her. The girl seemed a bit moody as her orange and white droid friend followed her, yet not regretful.

“Hey, I would have done the same thing” You told her, admiring her kindness and selflessness.

“What?” She was surelly surprised that a complete stranger was talking to her, and confused as to what you were talking about.

“You can maybe get food another way” You said, letting her know you saw everything. “But people, and especially friends, are irreplaceble” 

The girl looked down to her droid friend, which beeped in response, and then back to you as her brown eyes locked with yours. 

“Funny, I think everyone else would call me crazy for doing that” She frowned, seizing you as she stared.

“Not me, that’s for sure” You extended a hand to her, dedicating her a bright smile. “I’m Taylor” 

“Rey” She shook your hand and nodded her head to the droid. “That’s BB8″ 

That smile lingering in your lips, you nodded at your new friends.

“Pleased to meet you both” 

Han

You were finally going to meet the famous Han Solo. After hearing so many stories from Luke and once you convinced him to take him with you in his adventures, you met Leia. And now you were about to be introduced to Han, someone you were extremely curious about.

Honestly, you didn’t know what to think of him. Judging by what your friends told you about him, he was cheeky and arrogant and cunning. The only reason you were okayish with him was because your friends trusted him and apparently he had their backs. Not that you were convinced about him still.

As soon as you walked into the ship, a confident looking man wearing a vest approached you, bearing a self-satisfied smirk.

“Hi there” He offered you a hand. “I’m Han, you must be Taylor” 

“Yeah” Warily, you shook his hand, not wanting to be rude. 

“Luke never mentioned how beautiful you are” The smirk never left his face as he nonchalantly shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. “Guess he wants to keep you all for himself” 

“Excuse me?” You frowned, wondering what he was on about and why he was flirting with you even though he had just met you. He was giving you a terrible first impression. 

“It’s a joke” He said, holding his hands up. “To break the ice?” 

“Aha...” You awkwardly said, navigating the ship to reunite with your boyfriend Luke. 

“Well, that happened” You heard Han saying behind you, realizing he made you slightly uncomfortable.

[ellana-ravenwood]

“Mother has been poisoned !” - Batfam x Reader (batmom)

Ok, Imma translate @laetitia-prst​‘s request (my fellow French person yo), so, basically : 

SUMMARY : Batmom has been poisoned by a new villain who wants to get known by killing the famous Bruce Wayne’s wife/partner. The batfamily is on edge, they gotta save her, because they’d be nothing without her...And then laetitia-prst talks about the ending and important plot points but hey, no fun if I translate that too right ? So here for poisoned bat mom,I feel like maybe it’s going a bit fast ? I didn’t really wanna make more than one part for this story so it’s long, and I’m afraid I might have rushed some things up...I hope you’ll still like it :s :  

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

You were with Damian, asking some mango juice at the bar for him (the barman was being a dick, and refused to serve your son because “he was too young”, even though he didn’t want an alcoholic drink, so your quite annoyed self went to get it for him), when things went south. 

-Mother ? Mother are you alright ?! MOM !

You don’t really know what happened. You felt a painful prick on your thigh, where your fancy dress was opening slightly, as if you just got stung by a wasp, and all of a sudden...Everything went blurry. Next thing you know, your youngest son is trying to catch you before you hit the floor, and his arms are holding you with all his strength, as if afraid you’d disappear. 

-Father, father ! Dad ! DAD !! 

You can feel Damian shake, but you can’t see properly the line of his face...his distress is making your heart tighten, and you have to reassure him but when you try to raise a hand to cup his cheek and stroke it gently, nothing happen.

You hear more than you see Bruce falling on his knees next to you. You feel his hands taking you away from Damian, you feel your son resisting a bit, reluctant of letting you go, you feel yourself raising from the floor...But you don’t get it. 

What is happening ? 

Your vision is even more blurry than a few minutes before, and the last thing you hear before drifting into total darkness is Bruce saying : 

-What the Hell happened ? 

Everything goes dark as you fell unconscious. Your husband feels you go limp in his arms, but before he can really react, a man in the assistance, wearing a gaz mask and khakis stands on a table and, with his best evil laugh, says : 

-My names is Mutagen, and you can bet that by the end of this week, I’ll be the most famous criminal in all Gotham. Spread the word, especially to Batman.  

Jason almost catch him on the spot, but the man jumps out the window and disappears...Who the hell was he ? 

*******************

It was pretty easy to guess that if he chose you, it was because you were the wife of the famous Bruce Wayne, and the charity ball you were at was organized by you...you were the star of the night, one of the most loved personality of Gotham, hitting you was a sure way of getting noticed by everyone. And especially by the Batman. 

As soon as “Mutagen” jumped out the window, the batfamily was full on in “detective” mode. Bruce stayed with you at the hospital the entire night while his sons were roaming the city to find clues...And oh they found plenty. 

You weren’t the only one who got poisoned, and soon, every single hospital in Gotham were filled with people who breathed, or got injected with the unknown poison Mutagen stung you with. 

It was always the same, they’d suddenly feel light headed, their vision would go blurry while their other senses would heightened, and then they’d quickly fall into a deep coma. 

The boys were able to track Mutagen down, but their father told them to wait for him before doing anything. They had to regroup. They had to think a bit before acting, even though they all wanted to jump in right away. 

He reluctantly left your side, but there was nothing he could do there...he was more useful out in the night, chasing after the man who dared attacking you. Chasing after the man who dared putting your life in danger. Chasing after the man he absolutely had to find, because otherwise, it would mean he’d lost you...

And he couldn’t lose you. None of your family members could. It would destroy them. 

*********************

-He’s in there. 

-Smells like a trap. 

-Oh it’s totally a trap, it was too easy to track him down...We just had to follow the trail of poisoned people. Seems like he just randomly stung and sprayed people on his way here...

-Yeah. Definitely a trap, he’s waiting for us...

-So...What are we gonna do ? 

-Go in of course. Gaz masks ready ? 

-Gaz masks ready. 

-Armors ? 

-Enough so that he’d need more than a needle to sting us. 

-Good. Great. Proud of you guys. 

-You’ll tell us all about it later father, for now, let’s go save mom. 

Damian was right, there were more pressing matters than Bruce’s proud feelings for them...though it still made them feel a tiny bit better. But their mind was fixed on you. 

Bruce couldn’t imagine waking up in the morning without reaching for you, and bringing you closer to him. Without holding you in his arms. He couldn’t imagine a life where he couldn’t speak to you everyday. A life where he wouldn’t hear your silly laugh when he made a bad joke or pun. A life where you’re bright personality wouldn’t light up his world, were your sarcasms and wits wouldn’t bring him down to Earth when he was being a bit too cocky. He knew that if you died today, he would never come back from it. He would bury himself in his work, jumping back in the dark pit you pulled him out off. He knew his heart wouldn’t survive your loss, and he would turn into an emotionless machine...No, there was no way this was going to happen. They were going to save you. They were going to make that Mutagen guy spit the remedy to them. 

Dick was distracted by thoughts of you, in the hospital, by thoughts of you maybe dying alone, and in pain. He couldn’t lost another mother, he just couldn’t. What was he gonna do without your motherly advices about love, life, work...about anything really ? He came to you at least once a week to ask you about something, wether it was how to properly fold a shirt, or how to get away with not doing your homework for school (he used to ask that a lot when he was still in school...now it was more : “how to find the perfect excuses to skip work”)...He needed you. He was almost twenty two, but he still needed his mommy. The woman who raised him since he was eight, and who was always here for him...he couldn’t lose you. He was going to make that Mutagen guy tell him everything about a cure for his poison. 

Jason was frantic. Thoughts of you plaguing his mind. Not able to really focus on anything but beating the shit out of that “new greatest criminal in Gotham” (after getting the antidote for you out of him though). You were one of the most important person in his life, he adored you with all the molecules of his being, you were the only one who always stood up for him ! The only one to truly understand his pain, and his broken soul ! The one who was trying to mend him back together ever since he came back to life, never giving up...You couldn’t die like that ! You were suppose to die of old age, in a very, very, very, VERY long time. You were suppose to still be around, to take care of him, to help him, to love him...You just couldn’t die. He would be so mad at you if you died like this, because of a stupid poison. Though it wasn’t your fault, he would never forgive you for abandoning him...

Tim was trying to keep his cool. It wasn’t easy. All he wanted was to be in front of the TV, watching a stupid horror film with you, mocking every dumb decisions the characters made. All he wanted was to drink some cocoa, while talking about the universe with you. All he wanted was for you to hug all his sorrow away, reassure him that everything was gonna be OK. All he wanted was to dance like no one was watching with you, in Wayne Manor’s corridors, singing loudly and out of tune all around the house, and just enjoying a silly moment with you. He was trying to stay concentrated, but it was hard, when all he wanted was his mom...

Damian was doing everything he could to not go crazy. The memory of you collapsing in his arms kept repeating itself in his mind. Over and over again. He tried to remember the man that bumped into you two, his face...but he just couldn’t. He was too mad at the time about some stupid mango juice, that he didn’t even pay attention to the guy running right into his mother. He was too worked up about that dumb barman, that he ignored him, while usually he would have jumped on him right away, because no one touched his mom without consequences. Damian just couldn’t help thinking that if he wasn’t such a brat, annoyed at something as stupid as not having mango juice, he could have caught the man who hurt you right on the spot, and they would already have a cure for him. You would caress his hair lovingly to soothe him, as you always did, and everything would be fine. His mommy would be with him, and not dying of an unknown poison in the hospital, alone. Yes, this was all his fault...he had to make it better, he just had to, because loosing you would kill him. 

********************

-Yes, it’s pretty serious. She’s in a bad state, her heart already stopped twice...Yes, they went after him, but I have had no news for the past hour. It’s very unusual. Their transmitters seem to be off. Yes. Yes please. We do need you. Thank you. Of course. Of course. Yes. 

Alfred turned off the communication with the Justice League’s headquarter. Bruce told him to call them, because the situation was serious. When it was related to you or any members of his family, the man would not hesitate but ask for help, to hell with pride. 

Martian Manhunter answered, and quickly took matters in his own hands. He told Superman and Wonder Woman, who were the only one free, to go check in Gotham to see if Batman and his sons would need help, while he went to the laboratory to study the sample of poison Bruce sent him right when he was able to extract some from your body. J’onn quickly took contact with Arkham Asylum to get a hold of Poison Ivy, and by chance, they currently had Lex Luthor in their space cells...there were ways of making the two geniuses helping them finding a cure. It would probably cost them something in return but...anything to save you. 

You were important to the League’s members. For many reasons. You were a part of the team, and they new that without you, Bruce wouldn’t be the same...and hell, Batman was one of the most important member of the League. Besides, no one could resist your natural aura, they all became friends with you since they first met you. 

And so the Justice League of America joined in saving you. They couldn’t loose you either. It would be a disaster. 

Alfred was sitting next to your bed, gently caressing your forehead and hair, trying to pass to you his love, to somehow take contact with your comatose self, and to show you that you had to fight. So many people relied on you, so many people’s life would go to shit without you...him included, as, over the years you spent by Bruce’s side, he grew to consider you his daughter. Yes, it would be a disaster if you died today...

*********************

 Too distracted. That’s what they were. They thought they were ready to take on Mutagen, after all, he was suppose to be alone (according to the x-ray visions of the building they had), and he was just one crazy man who wanted to be famous. They fought plenty of those. They could take him on. 

And oh how wrong they were. 

Tim and Damian got knocked out cold before they could even react. As they entered sneakily in the building Mutagen was in, there minds were thinking about you too much, weren’t focus on their task enough, even though all they wanted to do was to complete said task. 

They didn’t see the traps. Tim got hit in the face by a stupid metal bar that sprung up as he walked on a trigger, and lost consciousness right away. Damian was taken out quite in the same way, as heavy sandbag fell on him, injuring him enough to knock him down...

Their brothers and father went to them, and relief washed over them as they realized they were just K.O, and their life was in no further danger. They lined them up against the wall, and with a look to each other, warning each other to be more careful, they went on their way, making sure to hide the two boys first. 

Dick got caught in a net. It was really truly invisible. No one, not even Superman could have noticed it. Masterwork. Amazing for a “new villain”. Clearly, that man have been planning things for a long time. The net took Dick up in the air, and he disappeared in a trap through the roof...Bruce and Jason didn’t even had time to react. 

They decided to take the higher way, hooking themselves on the walls to avoid the floors and any trap...but clearly, Mutagen anticipated this, and next thing they knew, Jason was thrown from one wall to another. A loud and disgusting “crack” made Bruce wince, and without really thinking about it, he ran to his son to see if he was alright. Broken arm. Nothing to bad. Tough kid Jason was...

Mutagen did it. He pissed the Batman off. But instead of loosing his mind and entering berserker mode, when the bat was mad, truly angry, his mind was sharper than ever.

He could see the man who poisoned his wife right in front of him, looking at him...and he was sure he was smiling under his stupid gaz mask.

-You know Bats, everyone make a big deal about you and your little robins but...look at that, I got all of you so fast. Or, almost all of you. 

Bruce clenched his jaw. If you weren’t in danger, if all of this wasn’t about just saving your life, then they’d never get caught that easily. The reason they got knocked out and such, was because they weren’t thinking straight. It was because they were too afraid for you. Bruce cleared his mind, he couldn’t do that mistake again...

Mutagen seemed surprise when the Bat dodged every single one of his carefully prepared traps. He was so sure of himself, especially after he took down all of his sidekicks...He didn’t know however that the woman he poisoned first, Bruce Wayne’s wife, was hthe Bat’s wife, and that the reason things were so easy so far, was because they were all distracted. He didn’t know it took only a few seconds to Batman to regain his senses, and that he was mad at himself for letting things get to him so bad until now, costing his sons’ consciousness/freedom. 

This wasn’t how it was suppose to happen. No. No no no no no. He was suppose to be the most famous villain in Gotham by the end of the week ! By poisoning half of the city, and taking down their loved vigilantes ! He was suppose to rule over the place in one short week, he planned everything for years ! That damn bat couldn’t just dodge things like that ! That wouldn’t do ! 

It was his last chance. Out of his sleeves, a blade went out, shooting so fast toward Bruce that he didn’t have time to get it out of his way. It hit him on the shoulder...and stopped him right in his track. The blade went threw his heavy armor. It wasn’t just any blade then...damn, that guy was really prepared. 

Bruce saw the world spin, everything went blurry. Poisoned. 

****************

When the batboys opened their eyes, they were all tied high on a wall, and faced with Mutagen. Their father was unconscious, and they knew what it meant. 

For some reason, the villain decided to leave their masks on...Really, it was because where would be the fun to know like that ? He wanted to guess by himself. He knew one day eventually he’d get their secret identities. Well, actually, he planned on killing them very publicly first...Oh, which gave him the idea, that’s when he would reveal their identity to the World. 

Mutagen was settling a camera up, faced towards the boys. They knew what was gonna happen. Public execution. They had to do something...but they felt so weak. Their father was out, they were still dizzy from their injuries...oh god, they were going to loose you, they were...

The large windows of the building they were in bursted, and Superman and Wonder woman came in. 

Mutagen planned everything, but this, because usually, if it wasn’t a threat to the World, Batman would play alone...But he didn’t know that, because he decided to attack his wife, he contacted the League right away. Mutagen’s first and last mistake was to poison you. If he didn’t, who knew what might have happened ? ...But he did, and here he was, faced with two of the most powerful being on the planet, that seemed to be totally immune to his poison ! 

Diana beat the shit out of him, just enough, not too much, so he would still be able to speak, while Clark was taking care of your sons and husband. It went quickly. Because they didn’t know what was happening to you, all they knew was that they had to help Batman and his kids. They were actually surprised to find them all out of the game...What was happening ? Usually, at least one of them would still be up and fighting. Something bad must have happened. It’s only when Tim yelled something about you that they understood, and Diana got really rough with Mutagen, forcing him to give them the antidote.  

-I don’t have a cure, I don’t have a cure !! I didn’t make one, why would I ?! I wanted to decimate the population, I never had any intentions of saving anyone ! I AM GOTHAM’S MOST FAMOUS CRIMINAL ! I AM MUTAGEN ! 

-...Who ? 

Wonder Woman’s word hit Mutagen harder than her fist. Yes. Indeed. “Who ?”. After this night, he would fall back into oblivion, rotting away in a cell in Black Gate. Or worst, in Arkham Asylum. 

*****************

There was no cure in his lab. He really planned on decimating the population in Gotham. Fortunately, Poison Ivy and Lex Luthor work together and found a remedy. Bruce didn’t know what the League gave them in exchange of their help, and he’d worry about it later, because right now, only you mattered. Maybe because he received the poison and almost immediately the cure, things affected him less than you, but he was up and awake way before you, regaining fast his full strength. 

He thanked his friends, J’onn, Clark and Diana, with all his heart. Thanks to them he didn’t loose you...Oh god just the thought of your death made his heart stop. 

He made sure that his friend knew how much he was thankful for their help, how much it meant to him...Hell, he hugged them. That was definitely something. 

******************

When you woke up, your room was filled with your family and friends. The doctor was just unable to force them away, saying you needed rest, they had to be sure you were alright. 

It’s because of the fact that you almost died that they realized they were all a family, that if you died, they’d missed an important part of their lives. It’s thanks to you that the league members realized how important they all were to each others, how much everyone meant, how terrible they’d feel if they lost anyone...It made your heart sing when you realized that they considered you such an important part of their lives. It almost made you cry, when you saw all their worried faces and all...Yes, they were also your family. 

Your League friends bought so many flowers, that it’d overflowed the room, and was invading the corridors outside of it. Flash bought you some funky balloons...many of them were popped inadvertently  by almost everyone, and that’s what was the last straw for the doctor who came in very angry, and threw everyone out, unknowing of the fact that they were Earth mightiest heroes haha. He accepted for your sons and husband, and adoptive father (Alfred) to stay though...

*********************

For the next few months, Damian refused to let you go anywhere without him. It was cute but...well it was cute. Tim spent his time making antidote for any poison he could think of, just to be sure. Jason made sure that “Mutagen” was gonna be forgotten, and also that he would get a daily beating by his black gate’s colleagues. Dick spent even more time with you, and there was really rare moments where you wouldn’t be with one of your sons...Or Bruce. 

Bruce made sure you knew how much you meant to him. Bruce made sure you were alright. Bruce...Bruce was just perfect. He was already always great with you but then...He got so afraid of loosing you, that every day, even when he was far away for a mission, he made sure to let you know he loved you more than life itself. 

Because without you, he was nothing. You scolded him once for saying that, but when he told you : “What about you ? How would you be without me ?” you understood...

It really was too close for comfort. They almost lost you. All of that because a stupid motherfucker decided to be “the greatest villain of Gotham”...From this day on, they made sure it would never happen again. 

********************

You almost cried when Damian explained to you that he just couldn’t stop keeping an eye on you at all time. It was so sweet. He was so afraid something would happen to you... 

In fact, you cried a lot when all your sons joined in, and that group hug you received was the best of your life. 

You cried some more when Alfred also joined. 

And you completely lost it when Bruce arrived, and followed the lead. 

Those men. You loved them all so damn much. 

Fin. Hope you liked it...was kinda shit I guess (yeah ok I always say that but still, meeeeeeeeh). 

[cerastes]

Knights of the Round Table Official Tier List

God Tier:

Sir Ywain the Bastard: BFFs with a lion who may or may not have been able to talk. Very strong and ambitious without giving in to greed. Lost his sanity for a bit but sheer willpower brought it back, and mopped 0 seconds about it, went straight back to decimating ass in the name of justice and to save many numerous dames (honestly, if there was a dame in danger, this guy and his lion pal popped up immediately). Batman if his motif was the lion and also if Albert was a lion. Notable Feat: One of his adventures had him disenchant a cursed maiden who had been turned into a dragon by kissing her three times. That’s right, folks, Sir Ywain smooched dragon girls for reals and you’ll never achieve the heights of his glory.

Sir Percival the Grail Knight: Exceedingly powerful yet never once lorded his immense strength over anyone, and in fact, his impossibly humble nature actually had him act in ways to make others around him seem cooler, even though he was extremely capable. Clad in only a silk dress, Percival once threw a fully armored and armed knight over a castle wall, and this other time, clad in only shitty tin “armor” he made from pots, dddddestroyed an Evil Knight Of Certain Renown and stole his armor. The armor of pots happened because a merchant pulled a fast one over him (he traded his extremely expensive silk and gold-weave dress for a cart of junk), and then defended the man that fucked him over when the town was about to lynch him. Notable Feat: Defeated Sir Lancelot of the Lake (yes, that Lancelot) in fair and single combat, and kept disarming him instead of injuring him. Even then, he kept claiming “oh no, he won, I was just lucky, I am pretty sure he had the advantage” so as to not sully the hero’s name. Oh, yeah, and, you know, he fucking achieved the Holy Grail.

Sir Gawain: Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun, You Are A Master of Karate, And Friendship For Everyone. Good man, very strong, was kind of a dumbass, but that adds to the charm. He’s the kind muscleman that spots for your scrawny ass in the gym your first time and tells you how to do the exercises properly. Most likely to become a good friend in the long term. Notable Feat: His whole fucking life, man. The code of chivalry didn’t actually apply to peasantry, as in, knights were not required to protect peasants at all, yet Gawain was known as the Defender of the Poor. What a fucking stud. 

Galahad Tier:

Sir Galahad of Twilight: Galahad gets his own tier because he’s like some sort of Mary Sue that came outta nowhere in late transcriptions of Arthurian Mythos and sort of just was the best at everything ever in any context, which is funny because his father, Sir Lancelot, was more or less the same but actually likable (as in, Lancelot was not part of the original Old Welsh scriptures, and was basically really cool but also had a lot of flaws to his badassery, whereas Galahad is kinda just perfect). However, his divine protection does not allow me to put him at the bottom, for forces that dwarf my comprehension keep moving him up here. Notable Feat: Being a self-insert OC that got accepted in the canon.

Chivalrous Tier:

Sir Lancelot of the Lake: Goku, but lecherous. Notable Feat: Goku, but lecherous.

Sir Bedivere of the Perfect Sinews: The world’s first slot machine. Went on a ridiculous numbers of adventures in the early game, some of them even with Arthur’s dog, Cavall, and despite having only one arm, m dude was basically a Dynasty Warriors character. Openly practiced witchcraft, which almost got him hanged a couple of times, if it hadn’t been for Arthur’s interference and testimonies to his legitimately good character. Notable Feat: With Cavall the Dog, went on an adventure to kill an Evil Magical Boar and steal its comb, before hitting the boar so hard it fell right into the ocean and drowned, because Bedivere Don’t Fuck Around.

Sir Bors the Younger: Never on schedule, but always on time. Sir Bors wasn’t a superhuman like some of his peers, but his strong point was his virtue and how hard he adhered to the Code of Chivalry, which is more that can be said for a lot of knights, even in higher tiers. A hot young maiden once told him “FUCK WITH ME OR I WILL KILL MYSELF” but he refuse because he wouldn’t break his Vow of Celibacy. The girl, of course, turned out to be a DEMON that tried to trick him. Then, another time, his brother, Sir Lionel, was getting whipped by a notched whip by an assailant while a young girl was being kidnapped by a rogue knight. Notable Feat: He chose to save the young girl over his brother. His brother was Kinda Pissed, so he came back to murder Bors for abandoning him, and Bors didn’t defend himself, saying “yeah I understand why you are angry, honestly”. God himself saves Bors by striking down Lionel with a pillar of fire. Bors then went to be one of the three knights to achieve the Holy Grail (the other two being Percival and Galahad)

Sir Tristan (Or “Tristram” for you historians): Not only was Mister Sadman a capable fighter, Tristan also played instruments and sang, and he was said have a very beautiful voice. The beauty behind Tristan is that he went through multiple trials and tribulations that tested his worth as a person and as a Knight truly (as in, someone who pursues the path of chivalry) rather than his martial might. Notable Feat: Accidentally consumes a love potion with Iseult, who was on her way to marry someone, and he still held onto his reigns as a knight without betraying either chivalry or her love too much.

Manure Tier:

King Arthur: cuck. Notable Feat: His knights all went on way more exciting adventures than him and his peak is when he gets shanked by his illegitimate son and shanks him back and then spends like fourteen hours bitching at Bedivere for him to go drop his sword in a lake.

[bluboothalassophile]

Give Me Back My Mind!

No, You Can’t Kill Them...

Raven felt stretched thin at the moment as she held up a shield between her team, the new kids, and their mentors. The sweat beaded her brow, sliding over her skin slowly as she continued her focus, she could feel it all slipping and then there was a smashing of rocks near where she was and everything snapped. Raven could no more contain it in time than she could prevent it as she felt her Rage-self slip through her control and the excessive power surge through her as the air cooled several degrees and the shadows bended to their mistress.

"ENOUGH!" she roared, her second eyes coming forth as she bared her fangs at the children who had been about to start a war here at the entrance, everyone gasped as they scrambled back, and their fear bombarded her.

"Rae!" Cyborg shouted, she turned as she shoved her rage aside and her feet hit the ground, her eyes narrowed on Terra, Jaime and Damian who were all standing there trying to look unruffled by her outburst but weren't hiding it well. Sighing she walked over to Damian and Jaime who had never seen her demon before and placed a hand on both their shoulders, both boy flinched but looked up at her.

"I'm sorry that I lost control, and you reacted well if this had been a threat," she assured the boys.

"Whoa! Did you see those eyes, and the fangs!" a boy blurted out gleefully and Raven looked at the young man dressed in a speedster uniform, white and red though, his crop of messy brown hair was sticking up at odd angles. "She totally scared you!"

"Shut up Impulse! I was not scared!" the other youngster of the group protested, but Raven saw the look in his father's eyes as Superman glared down at her.

"What's all the alarms for, it's too early for the bad guys," Beast Boy grumbled as he walked out.

"Welcome to Titan Tower!" Star barreled over everyone and everything as she released the blondes she had been holding back. "I am Starfire, this is Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven."

"It's Changling!" Beast Boy shouted indignantly.

"Get used to no one calling you that dude," Jaime snorted.

"I think this was a bad idea," Superman said suddenly and Raven sighed as she prepared to hear this rant about her demon heritage, but the Batman slipped through the group and looked down at her. Raven was very used to the 'Bat stare' she received it a lot from Dick, Tim, and Damian.

"We still require the apprentices to work with us," Batman said.

"Well yeah man," Cyborg said.

"You are free to come whenever you please, no one in this tower is held hostage," Raven said blandly.

"Good, Red Robin, Robin, Batgirl are all here for training, keep in touch," Bruce said as he handed her a communicator and then he walked away.

"Wait Batman! You cannot seriously be leaving them with that demon!" Diana shouted after him. Raven hid the pain in that statement, she knew that it wasn't often her temper got the better of her, but she also knew how this first meeting looked to the Justice League members; like she was an out of control monster.

"Raven is in perfect control of her emotions, and she'd never hurt us," Starfire quipped which had everyone's eyes landing on the orange Tameranian. "And we are here to help teach, Raven is very good at the teaching."

"I'm staying," Impulse shouted then zipped over to Blue Beetle and Robin. "So, doIget to beapart of thisteam? Whendo we havebreakfast?I'mstarving!Wheresmyroom?..." the kid gradually sped up to the point of being incomprehensible. Raven blandly looked up to Impulse's mentor.

"Does he always talk this fast?" she asked blandly.

"He always talks, and he's always hungry," Flash chuckled when his communicator buzzed. "Flash, Go. Uh-huh, on the way. Well take care of my grandson!" and with that the man was a blur of red and wind.

"I don't like this…" Superman muttered.

Cyborg did most the talking as Star herded the kids into the Tower so they could start their breakfasts, and the laying out the ground rules. When it had just been her, Nightwing, Starfire, Beast Boy and Cyborg it had been pretty simple. But now she knew they were adding in an element of teenagers, and drama, and hormones, and more than likely unspoken rules would be broken.

Before, the rules were as followed:

-Respect personal boundaries.

-No prying.

-Team training was not negotiable.

-And NO ONE entered her room.

Mostly, no one entered her room after the thing with Beast Boy and Cyborg getting sucked into the Nevermore, and the few times the others had accidentally ignited some magic in her room and it reacted poorly. Raven practiced Dark Magic, she was very good at it and she rarely had mishaps in what she practiced. However, like all Magic, Dark Magic was temperamental and expressive, it was a force of all it's own, and her particular Magic didn't take too kindly to others invading or touching and was known to react by locking others in other dimensions. Poor Garth, he'd been traumatized after his stint in another dimension. Raven had warned them though, and the last person to try to enter her room was Damian; she gave the boy credit for making it all the way to Malchoir before her Magic had activated and flung him out of her room. Foolish boy, he still tried to break into her room, but her Magic steadily held up against the little assassin.

Thinking of the assassin she pulled his unsheathed sword from his grasp as she tucked it into a pocket dimension.

"Raven!" he shouted at her in anger and she lifted a brow at him.

"If I cannot hurt them then you cannot kill them, and no weapons at the table," she warned as she walked past him. The boy growled but gave up arguing with her. Raven knew she had won, after Damian had tested her for his first month of coming around the Titan's Tower with Dick he had learnt she won every argument she got in.

"Alright, we will begin the introductions!" Starfire announced gleefully once all the teens were seated at the table.

"After we eat breakfast we'll start training, and testing, then dividing you into teams according to strengths and weaknesses," Cyborg announced.

"Upon Dick's return we will consult with our leader, do a reassessment of these teams," Beast Boy shouted. Raven just sighed internally, opting not to speak because she knew that no matter what the assessments revealed she was stuck with Damian, Jaime and Tim. The reason for this deduction was actually very simple: Damian trusted her and if it was anyone outside of Dick, Bruce and her he didn't listen (to anyone, and he barely listened to them as it was). Jaime's armor was fond of Victor, and Victor was Raven's second in command; and since Jaime's armor had had a few adverse reactions to Star or Nightwing, he wasn't switching teams. And then there was Tim, and the main reason she was in charge of Tim was simply because he and Damian needed to learn to get along and not try to kill each other all the time.

Everyone else was up for grabs though.

"I'm Jon!" the Superboy piped up then and Raven saw him take the initiative as the other teens carefully followed his lead.

Over all there were a lot of them.

"I refuse to take instructions from a demon," the new Wonder Girl spat when it came to her turn.

"That is not nice!" Star shrieked.

"Star, it's alright," Raven surrendered though she sensed the Bat kids tensing at this statement as Raven stood. "I do not expect you to like me, Cassandra Sandsmark, I do not care if you like me or not, but you will respect me. If only for the reason that I am senior here."

"Raven is one of the founding members of the Titans, she's more than earned your respect," Cyborg said softly as the quite fell over the table.

"Testing is in thirty minutes, finish breakfast, Jaime, you're on dishes," Raven said as she left the bombarding emotions and she left the children behind her as she took a steadying breath. They were just kids, they didn't know any better, and it didn't matter. She was a demon's daughter, but she was also human.

Funny how everyone overlooked the human part of her heritage.

Walking into her room she gingerly shut the door.

Careful not to let her emotions get the best of her Raven tried to center herself as she flicked her wrist to light all the candles in her room, filling it with a sweet aroma as she walked to her bed and collapsed.

She wasn't a monster.

She was just going to have to prove this all over!

Groaning she buried her face in her pillow and wished Trigon had managed to kill her for she hated having to continuously prove herself.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Bruce knew the JL questioned his decision to send the 'sidekicks' off to learn with a demoness as their mentor, but in truth Bruce had seen the footage of Raven's battle with Trigon (there was nothing he didn't have regarding the Titans for the safety of his own children), and for a fourteen year old she had shown far more power and restraint than he had ever thought possible. He also saw a bit of Jason in her, the misunderstood, alone, and desperately seeking a place in this world.

Dick described her as reserved, as a calming, logical force who could have him seeing things in a new light.

Tim thought her to be a mystery worth unravelling, but Raven had always held steadfast against Red Robin's constant digging.

And Damian, Damian who did not like anyone, found her admirable, and trustworthy, she was also patient with him.

Bruce had figured out six years ago that Raven was a good force, and he was trying to get the other Leaguers and their children to see that. Bruce had hopes that if he could get her to be seen in a different light, by most of the League members, then he could possibly persuade her and Cyborg to come up to the JL. Cyborg went with Raven, Dick had made that very clear and the few approaches the JL had tried on Cyborg, the young man stated as much.

Raven would be an excellent addition to the League though, her abilities, and her knowledge… she'd be an excellent magic consultant along with Zatanna, Constantine, and Dr. Fate, and the few other odd magicians the League had acquired.

However, the prejudices against the young woman, while understandable, were getting a bit out of hand. Which was a part of the reason Bruce had asked for the Titans to become more of a mentoring program than the JL.

Also… it was Bruce's sincerest hope to prevent another Jason. He didn't want anyone in the League to feel the anguish which came from burying their child because they weren't fully ready. And despite all of Jason's skill and fineness he hadn't been ready. Jason had also had that darker edge, and Bruce had never quite figured out how to curb it or dull it. Even when Jason had been Red Hood, he hadn't known how to get through to the boy.

And Bruce was seeing a few more kids like Damian and Jason being taken in by other Leaguers and he really wanted to prevent a death here. Dick had agreed to help, and by opening up the Titans as mentors; because most of them hadn't had mentors, it was a chance for productive growth.

Anyone who could connect to Damian, Dick and Tim could not be completely evil!

Then there was his personal reason for wanting his group of kids to be here rather than in Gotham. But he'd worry about it later.

~~~*~*~*~~~

He was a bit relieved that with his equipment and view of the Tower, he was able to see what the ruckus was all about from his living room, and he was a bit relieved for having delayed his plans a bit. All the adults had been there, and while the adults didn't scare or intimidate him, he wasn't overly fond of the idea of encountering his former mentor or running into a pissed off Kryptonian.

Though he had a feeling that the Kryptonians were unavoidable now, he counted two for sure, but one he suspected to be a Kryptonian or an Amazon.

It wasn't much of a problem, not really, but it just made a bit more work for him as he watched the Tower for a bit.

His phone buzzed and he picked up the voice modulator as he answered.

"You know she's got some bloody, and brilliant magic, right?" his contact droned.

"Just tell me you have it done and I can pick it up," he replied as he continued examining the Tower for signs and hints as to what was going on there.

"Yeah, yeah, it's not going to keep you in her room if she put serious wards in there, but it'll be enough for you to get in and get out," the other man sighed.

"That's all I need," he smirked.

"We're even now," the other cockily declared.

"Not even close, just put it in the usual drop box, I'll pick it up tonight," he smirked and hung up the line. The thing about making friends in low places was that they sometimes had good uses.

Now he just needed to steal some Kryptonite…

The Titans would never know what hit them.

~~~*~*~*~~~

"Now that everyone is settled in with their rooms there are rules," Star spoke up as the kids, now dressed in training gear rather than uniforms all stood in the Titan's massive, multilevel gym. It was set up for gymnastics, flying, aerial combat, sparring, working out, and most importantly power use; which was tricky to engineer, but worth it.

"Raven, if you would," Beast Boy gestured to her and she frowned; of course, being second in command of the Titans would mean she'd have to talk about the rules Dick had given her.

"Rule One: boys are not allowed in girl dormitories, and girls are not allowed in boy dormitories. The legal age for this to change is eighteen at which point you will be moved to the upper living quarters, if you should choose to stay with the Titans for more learning. And do not think you will be able to get around this rule, I set up the wards myself, and none here are versed in Magic so do not try to tamper with them.

"Rule Two: there is to be no physical fighting within the Tower outside of the gym and the agility courses and training, if I catch anyone, (Damian), trying to instigate a fight anywhere but the gym or the O course, your life is mine.

"Rule Three: there will be a chore rotation set up, do not think for a minute that you can get out of your chores. Everyone will be doing chores, including the founding Titans when we're here.

"Rule Four: No One is to enter restricted access areas, (Tim, Stephanie, Damian), trying to hack them will be cause for punishment, and do not think you can escape without being notice; Barbara is setting up our security, short of the Oracle or Overwatch or Cyborg hacking in, you're not getting in.

"Rule Five: on missions, you will listen to your team captain and their second in command. We are not your mentors, we are not your guardians, and showing off is not tolerated on any level here. your mentors aren't here to bail you out should you need it, and we, the founders, aren't willing to die so you can prove to your mentor you're ready, (Damian).

"Rule Six: language will be appropriate, school work will be done, mentors will be checking in, and bathrooms are to be clean. No exceptions, no arguments, and should you not follow this rule we will be washing your mouths out with soap, benching you from all Titan's work, send you home with escorts, and be handing you toothbrushes for cleaning. This is Dick's rule and don't think it won't be enforced.

"And Lastly Rule Seven: Absolutely, NO ONE Is Allowed In MY ROOM. If I should catch you there it will be cause for immediate dismissal from the Titans, if you survive my room and my wrath. DO NOT test me," she growled the last rule lowly which had several kids looking confused but Raven refused to have to deal with some idiot teenager dying, getting sucked into another dimension, or blasted because they were messing around in her room. Been there, done that, she'd prefer not to have a repeat if possible.

"Now that that's over," Cyborg smiled. "We're now going to test your abilities and decide who goes to what team."

"I thought we were working with Nightwing," Superboy grumbled and Raven lifted her brow at the boy who was glaring pointedly at Damian.

"No, Nightwing is the ultimate leader, but the two teams we will be dividing into are Raven's and Starfire's, with Beast Boy and myself as second in commands," Cyborg explained.

"Why are the girls team captains?" Impulse blurted out.

"Because Raven is second in command of the Titans, and Star's older than Beast Boy," Cyborg chuckled. Raven softened a bit seeing her green friend scowl at this revelation. "And I'm always Raven's second in command."

"I see, this is alright then," Cassandra shrugged as she leant back and smirked at the group. Raven could only see coming troubles.

"Now let us begin!" Star gleefully bounced. "Joy," Raven sighed.

"How are you testing us?"

"You will be sparring us," Beast Boy smirked then and she swore she saw several malicious looks thrown around the room.

"All at once? No offense but we're League apprentices and we can kick your butts," Supergirl said.

"Let us test this, Damian, Terra and Jaime will be sitting this out, we know what you can do and we don't need someone accidentally dead," Cyborg chuckled.

Raven saw Damian scowl but sensed the boy's disinterest. He was far too well trained to find any of them a true opponent, and after his run in with Talon and the Court of Owls, he was trying really hard not to be lethal. It would be best not to tempt him, but Raven knew he'd want something to do, but she couldn't think of anything so she watched him go.

"So, who wants their butt whooped first?" Victor smirked once they were down their kids.

~~~*~*~*~~~

It was well after midnight when made his way to the drop spot he had with his contact. Picking up the package he inspected it carefully then lifted the note.

'No promises, but it should last for a minute.'

He tucked the package in his jacket before he was again straddling his bike and he tossed the note as he rode through the city. It was so quiet here, it was a bit eerie, the fog was rolling in and the cool night air filled his lungs as it cleared his head.

He was making his move tonight, it was the only time that made sense because of the numerous kids there now. Well, they weren't kids, but they weren't Titans either and while he was all for a fight, he knew there were only so many hits from a Superbrat he could take before he was K.O.'d, and that wasn't pleasant.

Also, he knew that whatever his contact had sent him wasn't likely to last long; Magic was tricky this way but Jason was coming to accept it as a part of his life. There was much in these many worlds which was more Magic based than science and it was an unknown. Besides, after half the shit he'd seen he couldn't not believe in Magic, though he knew it was harder for the Bird Brains and Bats to accept.

Pulling into his hideout he slid off his bike as he started changing. He'd modified his brother's costume over the years, mostly because he felt ridiculous in spandex and shit. Also, he was not bullet proof and in his line of work, bullet proof was a necessity.

Pulling on the black gear, the red X on the armor he did a double check. The utility belt wrapped around his hips, other weapons and necessities he'd accumulated were tucked away in extra pockets on his cargo pants, and his boots were tied securely. As Bruce had taught him: he might not be the strongest, or the fastest, but he sure as hell was the most prepared.

Once he was satisfied that none of his gear would leave a lucky spot for a Titan to land a lucky blow on him he grabbed his black leather jacket and pulled it on before grabbing the skull mask he'd modified into a helmet. Straddling his other bike, he did a double check again and then he revved the engine before roaring out of the garage.

Slowly he pulled his bike to the outside gate of the Tower, in a blind spot he was surprised hadn't been fixed and looked at the time.

It was three in the morning, all the lights in the tower were off. Pulling out his package he looked it over before he slowly opened the envelope open and found himself looking at a red x necklace. Grumbling a bit, he slipped it over his head and tucked it under his jacket, here's hoping that the magic worked and didn't get him killed, he thought before standing.

His eyes narrowed on Raven's room and he took a steadying breath before his hand fell to the belt.

~~~*~*~*~~~

By midnight the teams were decided and would be finalized when Nightwing was here to look them over and approve.

Exhaustion had her stumbling to her bed and collapsing. She was already emotionally strung out and her mental shields against all the emotions around her were already wearing thin by the time the end of the day had come. Fucking teenagers! She remembered why she didn't like them, and she also remembered why she wasn't overly fond of League brats.

Every one of the super strength ones had come at her with everything they had, Raven felt fairly certain that they were all taking something out on her for her heritage or something, and she didn't care. Their prejudices were out of hand and they all made their contempt for her known. Frankly it annoyed her that no one looked at her and saw her, they just saw the demon Zatanna said she was.

Sighing Raven rolled onto her back and stared up at her ceiling.

She'd gone to the League about her father first, she reminded herself. Zatanna had driven the League's dislike of her, and at twelve Raven hadn't had the courage to fight them. No, she'd bolted, immediately, her empathy had sensed all their hostile attitudes and rather than having to deal with them she had run.

It had brought her here, and about a year later Dick had shown up and he was making an unintentional team, she'd been pulled in by the warmth, the joy, the care, and the laughter there. They formed the Titans, and she was accepted, demon and all.

The League had disliked her, but Dick and her friends had steadfastly held up against the League and made her second in command of the Titans. It was a big deal and it had royally pissed of Zatanna.

Now Raven was dealing with the backlash of a pissed off Magician and teens who were making their dislike of her known. Sighing Raven closed her eyes as she let sleep drown her and the welcoming darkness consume her.

She'd take a shower in the morning.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Lightly landing in the general area of Raven's quarters he felt the X around his neck start burning. Hurrying towards a door he knew was raven he slid it open before soundlessly moving through her room.

She had a ton of books, he wasn't surprised honestly, but he felt this could be problematic as he felt the X burning hotter. A muffled moan from the bed had his head snapping over to there where he saw her sprawled out. Tensing for a moment he waited, she didn't wake, he turned his attention back to finding the book.

The picture he had already told him what he was looking for but the question was where she'd put it. His eyes scanned over the shelves swiftly, and then he looked around them just to make certain. Turning back to the giant bed he noticed the books on the nightstands and he cautiously moved to inspect them.

Not here, moving to the other stand, the one which put him closer to Raven he found what he was looking for.

The X was searing hot now, and he could now feel pushes against him; he was assuming it was her magic.

His hand grabbed the book and he looked over at her.

Dark eyes were wide and staring at him, he tensed.

~~~*~*~*~~~

She had woken up feeling a push on the magic in her room, an invasion of urgent emotions on her open psyche, and now she was staring into a set of white optics on a skull mask with a red X slashed over an eye.

For a moment, her brain was stunned to even see him; she'd thought he was dead, but then the fury built up that he was in her room.

"Miss me sunshine?" his cocky modulated voice asked as he grabbed her Azarath book and bolted.

The exhaustion she felt flew out the window as she tore after him in her pajamas. Fuck! Was her only thought, her powers surged through her as they went to the roof.

"STOP!" she roared, her fear of her book, and what it held filling her as the shadows came to life, X turned to her and gave a mock salute as he fell off the side of the building, she ran and dove after him.

He couldn't get away!

The Nevermore was in that book!

She watched him disappear in thin air but her empathy was latched onto him as she flew low to follow where he reappeared.

[ellana-ravenwood]

“Bruce...sucks” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The women of the League are teasing you about the love bites that litter your body....

I already kinda had the idea of doing a similar story on the women side...So here we go. Last time the guys of the League were mocking Bruce for the scratches on his back, now, it’s Batmom’s turn (though I feel it’s not as funny as the other, I tried something else you know, so that the stories wouldn’t be exactly the same, too similar and shit...erf, whatever, hope it’s kinda ok). Hope you’ll like it (insecuritiesoverloadbutitsok) : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

PART 1

__________________________________________________

It wasn’t really part of your initial plan to shower at the same time than them. Bruce told you about his friends trying to tease him about the nail marks you left on his body after a heated night, and you were afraid that your girl friends would do the same, a bit paranoid about it really...

But then you thought about the fact that usually, women tended to be a bit more mature about that (maybe?), that they would probably behave and ignore the hundreds (literally) love bites on your body. 

Besides, there was only Diana, Zatanna and Dinah, surely, they wouldn’t say anything, after all, they were used to Bruce being affectionate towards you when he thought no one was watching, small love bites wouldn’t shock them or anything. They were your three best friends, they knew how to not intrude too much in your life. They would definitely not talk about the marks your husband left on your body. 

And oh you were so wrong. 

You were in your underwear when you started to notice their smirks, and the way they whispered in each other’s ears while looking at you. No...could it be ?

You turn around, and when Diana’s eyes go wide at the sight of the love bites on your front while Zatanna and Dinah just start laughing stupidly, you know you actually were right to “fear” a reaction from them. You roll your eyes and give them your best “really ?” facial expression before saying :

-Are you guys snickering like idiots because of the love bites ? 

Zatanna answers your question :

-No, we’re snickering like idiots because Bruce...

And then it happens. The worst pun you ever heard in your life (and you were used to Dick and Tim’s nerdy jokes). All three of them yell : 

-SUCKS !

Stun. That’s what you are. Wow. Even worst that the poor attempt from your male friend in the league to embarrass Bruce. An awful pun. 

-Are you guys serious ? 

-Oh come one (Y/N), it’s funny right ? You’re covered in love bites, so...Bruce sucks ! 

-Don’t explain it Diana, it’s not funny when you explain the joke ! 

-Yeah well she obviously didn’t get it Dinah, look at her face.

-Oh I understood alright. It’s just...so bad. So damn bad. 

-You have no sense of humor. That’s probably why you and Bruce get along so well. 

-She shouldn’t get along with him though because he...Sucks ! 

Oh my God. Were they drunk ? Was that why they were laughing so hard at their stupid joke ? Was that really the best they could come with ? Like, at least, the guys had some good punch line and such, it’s just, no one wins against the Batman you know ? But your friends...Well, you were questioning wether you should stay friends with them or not. Terrible puns and unstoppable laughter because of it could be a good reason enough to stop all contact with them...

You smiled at your own thoughts, thinking that, probably, your sense of humour wasn’t any better than them. After all, you recall a few time where you and Bruce would laugh for hours at really dumb fart jokes...Oh if the world knew how you could be when it was just the two of you, most of its strongest convictions would shatter. The Batman laughing because his wife farted ? Inconceivable. 

Ignoring their very loud laugh, you just start dressing again. Finally, they calm down, and as you put your shirt on, sitting on a bench against the wall, they suddenly surround you. Diana starts : 

-So, he likes sucking on you uh ? 

You blush a bit, but quickly regain your countenance. There was no way they’d make you crack. You could totally do it. You could pull a “Bruce Wayne” on them, and turn the table, making them blush and regret ever teasing you.

-Does he call you his little “popsicle” ? 

You give Diana your most exasperated look, and roll your eyes some more. But clearly, Zatanna thinks the idea of the dark and broody batman calling you his “popsicle” is hilarious because she keeps going : 

-Oh I can just imagine it. You guys coming home from a long mission, him asking for his favorite dessert...His lovely “(Y/N) popsicle”. 

-Yes, I can see it too, they...

-Imma stop you guys right now, because I feel like you’r going to make it weird. Like, come on guys, do not imagine Bruce and I having sex...

-We’re not imagining you having sex, we’re imagining you beginning some foreplay. 

-Oh my god !

-Oh look, we made her blush ! We made the proud and self-controlled (Y/N) blush ! 

-I’m not blushing, I’m annoyed ! 

-You’re blushing, you’re totally blushing, and we’ll tell everyone that we made you blush. That we did what the guys couldn’t do...we made one of the batlover blush. It’s quite the achievement, you guys are usually so good at hiding your emotions ! 

-...Batlover ? 

-Batlovers. That’s you and Bruce. 

-Yeah I think I got it...Why bat ?

-Your superhero name wasn’t working with “lover”. 

-I’m a bit vexed now. 

-Get over it...Popsicle. 

By now, you are a bit amused, because maybe, just maybe, they’re making “jokes” that start to appeal to your silly and stupid sense of humor...Now if only they’d make dark and sarcastic comedy jokes, and they’d make you laugh. 

But dark and sarcastic comedy wasn’t on their agenda. Making you more uncomfortable was their goal right now, so Dinah went on :

-No but, for real, how is it ?

-...What ? 

-Come on (Y/N), we saw love bites in...interesting places. 

-What, Oliver never leave any love bites in “interesting places” ? 

-..We’re not talking about Oliver. 

You give Dinah your most apologizing look (which infuriates her), and with an exaggerated sad voice you say : 

-I’m sorry for you Dinah. I’m genuinely sorry Oliver isn’t interested in your special places that much...

-He leaves enough love bites ok ! He prefers just bites anyway...

-Oh Oliver bites ? Sexy. How’s that ?

The attention from your two other friends turn to Dinah, and she blushes. Just like Bruce said, diverging the attention on someone else was easy. Only, Black Canary wouldn't have it  : 

-Really ? What Oliver does to me sounds more interesting that what the freaking  Batman do in bed ? Like, I’m pretty sure my stupid husband brags about his sexual prowesses all the time. 

Diana smiles, and says : 

-Oh yeah...He does...You’re right. Bruce’s more interesting. 

You scoff and try to stand up, but they force you to sit back down...you would not leave before talking at least a bit about your goddamn sex life. They were genuinely curious, like...It was the Batman ! The only man none of them could really read, as he was always so stoic and such ! And you were you, the only one able to make him blush only by whispering god knew what in his ear, or make him twitch by brushing your fingers on his arms slightly while passing next to him ! LIKE IT WAS FUCKING INTERESTING ALRIGHT ?!

You sigh. You knew you wouldn’t get away as easily as Bruce, making your friends blush wouldn’t stop them from wanting to know, and you were too nice to humiliate them too much...

-Come on, tell us. Like, your body is almost purple because of all the love bites so...

-Alright. I don’t really know what to say. It’s amazing ? Like, he’s good ? Love bites aren’t the only things he can do with his mouth let me tell you that. 

They chuckle slightly. A bit surprised by your honesty though...but you thought that maybe, only maybe, if you said things like that right away they wouldn’t ask too much ? Besides, it was kinda fun to talk about that with friends, and you were totally going to brag about how good of a lover Bruce was. 

You made sure to make them blush, even though they weren’t prude. You gave them some details, because you thought it was fun when they gasped and made a face that clearly stated they were totally jealous of you. Especially since they knew it wasn’t your type to over-exaggerate events...Damn, Bruce seemed like a really good damn lover. Though they had to admit, you didn’t sound too bad either. They totally understood why he would cover your skin with love bites.

After almost an hour of everyone talking about their sex life (you won for “best sex life ever”, hands down...Though Dinah and Oliver weren’t too bad, and damn Diana and Clark were...Special), you guys were just totally relaxed about the thing. It was definitely not as awkward and weird as when the guys tried to tease Bruce. His experience ended in him making fun of them, while yours ended in a very interesting conversations with some of your best friends. Besides, some of you had great advices to give each others ! 

However, of course, because every good things has to end, at some point, someone had to ruin it. Today, this someone was Zatanna. She made you stiffen when she said : 

-It’s funny, Bruce never left any marks like this on me. 

Diana and Dinah freeze, knowing how you could get when the green monster of jealousy would show up...

You knew Bruce and Zatanna, a very long time ago (and since you and Bruce had quite an age gap between the two of you, you were probably just a child when it happened), had a thing while she was teaching him some evasion skills (your husband told you), and you were cool with it, because you trusted both of them, and because...Well it was a long time ago, and you were the one with the ring. You were the reason he refused a date with Zatanna years before, when she came back in his life, because he was already head over heels for you, and no one could take your place, ever. Buts still, talking about it that openly was a mistake. 

You never dealt well with your husband’s exes (you remember that time you and Selina Kyle fought because she was flirting with him at a gala, right in front of you, and your sons had to separate you, while Bruce was completely stunned...that idiot didn’t even notice that Catwoman was flirting. Good thing though, it meant he wasn’t flirting back...he wouldn’t even think about it anyway, too in love with you for that). Even if it was just a very short lived relationship. And even if it was one of your best friend. 

You slowly turn to Zatanna, a menacing look on your face, and say : 

-...You know I turn into a terrible person when I’m jealous right ? That I can’t help it ? 

Zatanna, realizing her mistake, tries to backtrack, but while trying to explain makes it even worst :

-Oh don’t be like that, you know Bruce and I had a very short lived fling years ago, when he was training, before he even became Batman. There was no love involved, we were just...friends with benefits. A slight infatuation at most. 

-Zatanna, seriously, shut up, or I’ll punch you in the face so hard it’ll make your magic disappear. 

You can see the glint of worry in your friend’s eyes. She knew how you could become when jealous, she was really regretting her words...damn her big mouth. Besides, yeah, maybe talking with one of your best friend about that time you used to fuck with her husband was probably a bit insensitive...But it was years before you and him even met ! Hell, they were barely twenty, you probably were no more than eight at the time ! 

-Alright alright. Let me just add, as a sort of apology : he never looked at me the way he looks at you. When you’re in the room, no one else exist all of a sudden. Even if I tried to seduce him, he wouldn’t even give me a second look before telling me to fuck off. You know damn well you have him wrap around your little finger. Also, he never left any marks on me, he never took the time to do so you know ?

-...

-Alright, I won’t talk about it anymore. Stop looking at me like that please, feels like you’re about to eat me, it’s creepy...Besides, the two times I did it with Bruce weren’t as great as what you describe so...Oh ok, no, don’t hit me, I’ll really shut up ! 

Diana and Dinah were ready to get a hold of you, just in case you decided to execute your threat and punch your friend. You had a really mean right hook...But seeing Zatanna’s sorry (and still quite worried) face relaxed you a bit. You realized it was silly to be mad about something that happened over 20 years ago, before you even knew Bruce and all...Especially since, once again, you ultimately were the one he chose. Above everyone else. And you were the only one that could make him smile without effort, laugh even, or just make him happy by your mere presence. If only you knew how much he loved you, you’d never get jealous again, because really, you were the only woman that counted in his eyes. He never loved one like you, would never love one like you ever again. You were the one you know ? 

-Erf. It’s ok Zata’, I’m sorry. It’s just, he had quite a lot of...”flings”, before me you know ?

-According to the rumors, yes. But according to what you tell us, you’re definitely the best sex he ever had. Maybe because you’re the only one he ever truly loved, such a connection is...important.

-Yeah well he’s also the best sex I ever had, even if I definitely wasn't a virgin either when we first got together. Yup, he’s definitely the best, even though, you know, he...sucks. 

The fit of laughter that takes over your friends almost kill them. Their laugh is so loud, and they just can’t stop...You still really don’t get why this joke is so funny to them. What the Hell really ? 

Slowly, you take your stuffs and leave the place, leaving your friends to their weird laughing club. 

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE SUCKS ! BECAUSE OF THE LOVE BITES YOU KNOW HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA !!!!! 

-HAHAHAHAH DIANAAAAAHAHAHA !! DON’T EXPLAIN THE HAHAHAH JOKE OR IT’S NOT FUNNY ANYMOOOREAHAHAHAHAHHAA. 

*******************

Bruce was waiting for you outside of the women shower room, back against the wall, arms crossed. Making sure it was only you and him around, you went to kiss him. Hard. Which surprised him a bit, but he definitely responded. He pulls away and brush a gentle hand on your cheek, putting some wild strands of hair behind your ear, before asking : 

-So...Are you gonna tell me what was all that laughter about ? 

-You. 

-Thanks. 

-Don’t worry, it was in a good way. Also, apparently, we have the most interesting sex life out of all the League members. 

-...What ?

You wink at him, take his hand, and drag him with you to the nearest zeta tube. You were going to tell him the story of your curious friends, but not before a bit of...bedroom sports. As you both disappeared in the zeta tube, making-out like teenagers, some of your League friends present nearby got suddenly very embarrassed...