#yeah the next word was phallus

[vyragosa]

[defmaybe]

Cherry

NMIXX’s Oh Haewon x Male Reader

2.5k words

A/N: Dawg. Another BFH fic, I promise I’ll reduce the output rate lol. Also, thanks to @djnayeon for inspiring this with a fucking Shrek gif lol. Thanks for reading!!!

—

Haewon tosses a torn piece of paper with a scribble on it.

My dorm, 602

—

You stand in front of a dormitory, exuding malice with its structure–black, trapezoid, dystopian. A buzzer then signals you to enter. The glassy doors slide open, giving the sight of its stark interior. 

You trail through the rotating stairs, seeing your destination up high. Each step grows heavier, as her room comes closer and closer. Fatigue sets in. Fuck.

But just as you’re about to give up, the number appears on the door right in front of you—602.

Thank fuck.

You knock on the door, as the customs—three times, knock, knock, knock. You wait. You wait. You wait. It’s an eternity of ten seconds. Before the door swings open, giving you the sight of an olive-haired woman, dressed in a tight, cream top, with the pants that leaves little to your imagination.

“Get in,” Haewon orders, annoyance spreads on her expression. “Don’t fucking ogle me right now, keep it to when I fuck your brains out.”

You settle yourself inside her room immediately. It’s tidy, perfect for a lone living space–bed over here, bathroom over there, table by the bed. It’s everything you’d expect from this type of room. Then, you catch the Imaginal Disk vinyl sitting above a player, with other ones: Alvvays, Emotion, Keepsake.

“Come,” Haewon orders, snapping you out of the trance. “Eat my cunt.”

—

“Fucking pervert,” she huffs, as the wet squelches of your tongue lapping up her tangy nectar carry through the room. Her tempting lush folds only heighten your lust further. And despite the nonchalant verbal expressions, her quivering nails gripping on your scalp seem to have their objections. Oh, the woman that you are, Haewon.

Long gone, her lower garments, leaving her in a cream top. Every blow of wind would give the view of her erect nubs from time to time, What a sight. Not to add, her luscious, creamy thighs only sate your unquenchable thirst.

Right now, your world is only her—her glistening cunt, to be exact. You need to take all of her for yourself—every square millimeter of her velvety flesh, every strand of her silk, every drop of her salty liquid gushing out in arousal. You alternate between her juicy folds and the swollen nub, sweeping her sensitive area for all you can. “Ah! Fuck!” And you earn a wailing from her.

You’re sure that the crescent marks are going to be visible until at least the next week, eliciting some laughs and giggles from your prudish peers. But they will never know what an ecstasy it is to be eating Haewon’s pussy like this, with the mixture of your fluids running down your chin.

“F-Fuck, yeah, just like that, boy toy,” Haewon moans. “Keep eating my pussy like this and I’ll fuck your ass until you can’t walk.”

The promise of her plastic phallus pushes you up among the clouds. God, her artificial cock plowing your ass, making you her bitch. Every thrust ramming your prostate to your own brim, as you moan like a fucking cockslut you are–hungry for her domination.

You part her wet folds at an even quicker speed. “F-Fuck, boy toy, you’ve improved, haven’t you?”

“Life is a learning, mommy,” you answer through the act. Haewon lets go of your sore head, instead using her palms, softly pressing your head onto her instead.

“Witty, I like that.” And you just whimper out in response.

Her stream of lubricant won’t seem to stop, and it’s like you’d complain about her taste–tangy, intense, robust. While the scent, far from the flowers of the springs, only shackles you by the throat to keep eating her cunt like there’s no tomorrow. It’s intoxicating, she’s intoxicating, fuck.

Queued, her legs shake, signaling the pending orgasm on your face. “M-Mommy’s gonna cum soon, boy toy. Keep eating my cunt just like that,” Haewon commands.

With her words, your touches become more intense, eager to please your mommy to her climax. You wait for her torrent on your pretty face.

And just like that, her legs shake, a fountain of her squirt paints your features. You let your tongue out to taste her liquid–clear, yet intense like her aggression.

“Fuck, yes, drink it up, you dirty cuntslut,” she grunts, body still convulsing from the pleasure. God, quite a thesaurus she has.

Her squirt flows for a few more heartbeats into your welcoming mouth until she comes down from her climax. Her juice comes out just as slow as her subsiding breathing.

“F-Fuck, that was good, boy toy,” Haewon huffs, smiling, before her voice would become low again. “Now get on the bed, get that asshole ready.”

On a whim, you jump back first onto her bed, with her plushies jumping a bit upon your landing. You quickly push your pants off, and your cock springs out. Not to mention your eager puckered hole, so ready for her rough pounding.

Haewon picks up a harness with a dildo on it–daunting in its length, outrageous in its girth. You aren’t walking normally to your dorm today.

“I-It’s so big, m-mommy,” you whimper.

Standing, latching her strap, she bends forward to speak, “A slut like you deserves to be stretched out, don’t you?”

“Y-Yes, mommy.”

“I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk.” She finishes the last lock of her strap-on, before discarding her creamy top, displaying her tits in glory.

“Give me the lube, it’s above your head,” she orders, and you toss her the red bottle from the cabinet above you.

“Ready?” Haewon asks, stroking her plastic cock with a strawberry-scented lubricant.

“Yes, mommy.”

Boldly, she pounces on your thighs for a grip–so tightly. Her glistening length is merely an inch away from you. She grins–so malevolent.

Boldly, her length pierces your tightness, inch by inch. Fuck, it’s stretching you out. You’re fighting the urge to moan, like you haven’t been under her assertion all this time.

“Hmm~, so ready for mommy.”

Boldly, she buries her plastic cock up to the hilt, hitting the little spot called the prostate. It sends shocks through you, and she seems to be satisfied with your contorted expression.

Boldly, you moan, so loud, too loud. And she giggles at the sight.

“Can’t handle my cock, baby?” she says, as she slowly slides the length out.

“Ngh,” you cry out. The filling inside you agonizingly disappears. But as you thought she’d pull out all the way, she rams herself back into you. “Ahhh. Fuck.”

Haewon chuckles at you, pulling out again. And it begins, the rhythm of her dominance.

You become pliant for her–to touch, to play with, to fuck. She gains her tempo in messaging your inner walls. “Keep moaning like that, boy toy, It’s a song to me.”

Your mind is lost in the stars, only moans and whimpers to follow her orders. “Ngh, ahhh, mmmh.” Her pounding is so rough, yet it only fuels your fire further.

“Y-Your cock is so good, mommy.”

“I know, boy toy, I know you’d love my cock like a slut you are,” Haewon responds with a chuckle. Her hips strike your ass faster, hitting your prostate at the bullseye with each jerk. “Say it, who’s my little slut.”

You take a deep breath, before responding, “I-I’m your slut, mommy.”

“Louder.”

You take another deep breath, before shouting this time, “I’M YOUR SLUT, MOMMY.”

“Good boy, good fucking boy,” Haewon says, before dragging out her pace as she pants.

“Wha-What are you doing, mommy?” you ask, voice shaking with worry.

“I-I need your cum inside me, c’mere,” Haewon huffs, as she pulls in your thighs until they press against hers. The plastic cock points up along with yours.

“Can’t have your cock go soft before I, ugh,” she grunts, forcefully attempting to unbuckle the strap from herself. “Why the fuck is it so hard?”

“Nghhhh, mommyyy, please just fuck me already,” you groan out, being pulled away from the precipice second by second.

A forceful slap lands on your ass, “Ah! Fuck!”, the red mark of Haewon’s hand is probably imprinted on a canvas called you.

“You’re in no position to exert your needs here, alright? Shut the fuck up!” Haewon shouts, voice raspy, and you can do nothing but comply. “You’re so fucking lucky that I let you get a taste of my cunt. If you’re pulling some shit like this again, I’ll fucking hang you on the edge, alright?”

“Y-Y-Yes, mommy,” you whimper, voice shaking.

“Now, let me get this ugh- fucking strap off.” She struggles with it a bit more, until she finally tears it off, revealing her aroused sex for you once again. “Fucking finally.”

And it’s quick—the way she quickly envelops your cock within her drenched folds. And it plays out by the cowgirl’s book—her supple ass sliding up and down your cock, your moans, her moans (even if hers are in a much lower register–more like a groan per se).

“Nghhhh.”

“Fuckkkk.”

“M-Mommy!”

“Ah!”

The cacophony fills Haewon’s room, combined with the mess of fleshes clapping into each other. The allegro tempo makes it easier for you to make your eyes flutter in raw, unscathed ecstasy. The storm is still far away, but you can see it. You can see it. Lightning. The sound of it. The small drops of water on your arms, signaling the whirlwind of a release in the distance.

With her movement, your eyes keep alternating between her bouncing, luscious mounds and the sight of your cock disappearing into her. This shit is fucking hypnotizing.

“Don’t you dare go fucking other slut, understand? I-I only have you.”

Her first tinge of genuine affection. Your heartbeat quickens even more at her words.

“Y-Yes, ah, mommy,” you respond.

And somehow, boldly, Haewon captures you with her cherry-flavored lips–ardent, confident, ass still grinding on your filthy cock. She keeps gasping for air, but her tongue sweeps every square millimeter of your dirty, lustful mouth. She cups your face tight.

But before you can revel in the act, Haewon pulls back from the kiss. Her face is now flushed, eyes elsewhere with hands wiping the saliva away. And you smile.

“The fuck you’re smiling at, huh? Just fucking cum inside me, boy toy, fill me up.”

Your voice isn’t shaky anymore, reinvigorated by the kiss. “Okay, mommy.”

Haewon rides you faster, upping the tempo of yourselves clashing together. Her tight, velvety walls are calls of the storm. It’s raining now, and flashes and flashes of lightning can be seen from afar.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I-I’m gonna cum,” she moans, as her body atop of you shakes–violent, unyielding. She keeps the pace for her sex to be impaled by your length. Her juicy thighs lose their controls. Her breaths grow shorter. And her wanton cunt is quivering.

And she cums, “Fuck, shit!” Streams of clear juice leaks out in a torrent, legs trembling once again. Her whole body convulses, mouth open, you’d do anything just to see this again.

But she won’t stop just here.

“Now, your turn.” Haewon recollects herself up to a languid pace, opposite to the frantic tempo earlier. She’s definitely fucking with you now.

“Oh, my toy is frustrated because I’m not riding him fast enough?” Haewon pouts, and of course it is a sarcastic one. She doesn’t seem to let you have your pleasure yet.

“What if I–” Haewon swipes her lips with a finger, gathering a hue of coral on it. “–do this?”

Slowly, she docks the digit on your needy lips, pasting the tinge along them.

Slowly, she pushes her finger into your mouth, giving you the taste of cherry.

“Like that, you slut?”

“Yes, mommy.”

Slowly, you envelop her slender digit with a warm welcome–eyes closed, humming through the act.

Slowly, she sweeps your cavern, spreading the fruity paste everywhere, and you surely forget about how slow her tight cunt is pressing onto you right now.

“Mmmmmm,” you moan, sucking her digit. The taste only entices you more.

“Yeah, suck mommy’s finger like a bitch you are,” she says, and you just can’t deny that–her finger and the title.

Here you are, surrendered to her conquest, sucking her finger with an incomparable hunger. The submission just becomes innate now; you are so ready to give her the full control.

Without a warning, she finally ramps up her pace, slamming her wet, dainty cunt down your cock with more frenzy.

“Ah, ah, nghh, fuck, mommy~” you cry out, so lost in the haze.

“Breed me, fucking breed me.” Haewon looks up onto the ceiling as her groan fills the room. “I want to feel your seed hitting my womb, only yours.”

Thunders start to strike the ground with each thrust–bang, bang, bang. Each one has the determination to set the fire inside you alight.

“I-I think I’m cumming, mommy, a-are you sure about this?” You can feel it, the spark of it.

She huffs, “F-Fuck yeah, I want a creampie this time, boy toy.”

You start to grow greedy, despite the fear of her punishment. Still, it’s like you’d care right now, with any of her so-called disciplinary actions only pushing you towards the edge. You pump your cock upwards to match her slams.

“Hmm~, putting in some work too?” Haewon bends down to ruffle your hair, pouting. “So adorable for mommy~.”

Again, she captures you with her lips, every moan, every whimper, every cry is contained within the connection. You can feel it, the little fires everywhere. It’s only a matter of time until it merges into a raging inferno.

“M-Mommy~.”

And it burns, deep into her womb. Your cock paints ropes and ropes of essence within her needy cunt, as you scream deep into her lungs. The blaze consumes both of you, still fighting with your tongues. Your hips jerk with each shot, “Ngh, ngh, ngh,” and your back becomes an arch.

Eventually, the fire is gone, only the remnants of the burns left. Haewon pants against you as you do so, foreheads touching, smiling.

“You’re just fucking fun to use, you know that?” she says, before latching onto your quivering lips.

Long gone, the ardor buried within you two, replaced by something else, something you can’t quite pinpoint. Haewon kisses you, and you kiss her back with the remaining passion for her that’s left inside you.

Finally, she pulls back from you, a string of saliva connects you two in the separation. She’s smiling.

“I love being your little boy toy too, Haewon,” you say, she laughs. Before she gets down from the ride, lying next to you. Your cum leaks out of her cunt onto the bedsheets.

“Wanna do this again?” Haewon asks.

“Definitely, maybe.”

“Maybe?” Haewon furrows her brows, getting up to look you in the eye. “I fucking dicked you down until you moaned like that and you say ‘maybe’?”

You chuckle with the statement, before turning your back to her, “Cuddle me please, mommy.”

“Sure.” Haewon says, smiling, as she lies down again, hugging your frame from behind, ready to go through this nocturne together.

—

[josies-not-suicidal-now]

You scroll, you scroll. There's a video titled "Interview with Eleanor Bessermann at Cafe Berio - Berlin (2042)" with 3.2k views, looks interesting enough. It's a tripod shot of two people sat at an old fashioned looking cafe table, like in tumblr memes about slavic men smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee outside in 2° weather. These two are having coffee. The telltale crumbs of a chocolate croissant are noticeable on the small plate towards the right side of the table, yet the pastry itself appears to have already been consumed.

On the left sits a balding man, he appears to have the irrepressible urge to smile. All the skin around his eyes crinkles together behind his thick prescription glasses. He greets the viewer and introduces himself as the creator of some artistic endeavors, and introduces Eleanor Bessermann and thrusts the microphone at her. Her hair is long and pitch black, with a few grey streaks. Suddenly it dawns on her that it's her turn to talk and she frantically takes her hands out of her pockets to lean forward into the microphone, she announces "Hey there, my name is Bread"

The microphone moves lazily between them as they go through some fan submitted questions. The noise of chirping birds and passers by cloud the soundscape and some words get lost here in there. Sometimes they talk over each other and the microphone has to be awkwardly handed back and forth to try and collect everything being said. Some questions are answered with a single quippy fun sentence and Bread looks very pleased with herself. She's beaming, she looks almost amused, like as if everything being said tickles her immensely, and at times she can't stop herself from leaving the short quippy answer by itself. In the questions where a single sentence isn't enough, her descriptions drag on, often times overlapping with themselves. As the explanations drag on her joy even seems to slowly disappear, Like a little nerdy kid becoming uncomfortable in the process of explain their bad joke.

They move on to some questions from the presenter, he asks questions about the process of making art, and Eleanor has lots to say. They trade thoughts back and forth about mediums and messages, textures, and emotions, love, heart, sincerity. Both of them are far too scatterbrained, it's clear, their points feel strung together and abstract, yet not without merit. They speak towards the human condition, yet not about it. Finally they both agree that they don't have anything they can add that wouldn't be a repetition of a point that's already been made, even if there have also been multiple repetitions already, so. The presenter asks the final question "So, any idea what your next book is gonna be about?"

Bread gets so excited about this question that they fail to answer it for a couple moments "Ok, look, so. I've had my penis for 40 years now, and I think I'm done, I think I'm ready for the next thing. And I've always kinda felt that like a core facet of what's wrong with how we as a society look at gender related stuff, is that 1 we see the phallus as a dangerous thing and 2 we see vaginoplasty as a loss, when it's actually clearly more like a transformation. Like the beauty of vaginoplasty is that your genitals fully stay your genitals like it's all the same stuff still, you've just moved it around a little bit so you can have it like you want it. And I think like the fact that we see vaginoplasty as a loss just is so indicative about our fear of the unknown and of change and of uncertainty, like there's so much change, like the whole movie Annihilation is inside a neopussy. So the point that I'm getting at is that, everything is scheduled I am getting myself a vagina, and I'm gonna write a psychedelic mind-bending novel about how cool it was once I'm done with recovery and it's gonna make 1,000,000€ and I'm gonna buy a bunch of pretty girls drinks with that money. Yeah." She laughs at her own joke.

[scotttrismegistus7]

Watch "Jordan Maxwell: The Inner World Of The Occult-2002 (Full Length Documentary)" on YouTube

Q & A SESSION WHERE I AM SPEAKING FREELY ABOUT THIS VIDEO, THE INNER WORLD OF THE OCCULT BY JORDAN MAXWELL:

THIS ENTIRE VIDEO IS GOOD, BUT THERE ARE SEVERAL EXTREMELY FUNNY POINTS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO EXPLOIT RIGHT NOW.

THE IDEA THAT MANNA IS MUSHROOMS. THAT WOULD MAKE A LOT OF SENSE, YOU KNOW, HOW THEY ENDED UP GETTING STUCK IN THE DESERT FOR 40 YEARS, THEY WERE ALL SO HIGH ON MUSHROOMS THEY KEPT WALKING AROUND IN CIRCLES. REALLY THEY WERE EATING CACTUSES AND CLUMPS OF SAND, BUT AFTER YEARS AND YEARS OF TRIPPIN` BALLS, THEIR BODIES ADAPTED TO THE PERPETUAL STATE OF HOKEY POKEY. 😂🤣😂

WELL I SAW THE MUSHROOM HAT, AND I SAID TO MYSELF THAT'S THE MAGNETO DARTH VADER PENIS HELMET, IT HAS TO BE A PHALLUS SYMBOL, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE SOMEBODY COMPLAINED SAYING SOMEBODY NEEDS TO PUT A WARNING SIGN ON THESE PEOPLE, AND THEY WERE LIKE, I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER, I'M GOING TO TURN MY WHOLE HEAD INTO A D*CK! ALL OF THAT WENT REALLY WELL, UNTIL ONE OF THEM COMPLETELY HIGH ON MUSHROOMS BROKE INTO SOMEBODY'S HOUSE AND KEPT RUBBING THEMSELVES AGAINST THEIR FURNITURE! 😂🤣😂

OKAY, OKAY, SO ONE DAY THIS EXTREMELY POWERFUL MAFIA FAMILY HEAD IN ITALY WAS SITTING IN A HOLDING TANK AFTER SOMEBODY AT HIS CHURCH RATTED HIM OUT, THINKING TO HIMSELF ABOUT EVERY POSSIBLE WAY HE COULD CONCEIVE OF GETTING VENGEANCE, AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN IT HITS HIM! HE SAYS TO HIMSELF, I`LL BET THEY WOULD NEVER ARREST THE POPE, NO MATTER WHAT HE DID WRONG, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE HE'S THE POPE!

VERY SHORTLY AFTER, HE BRIBES PEOPLE AND THREATENS PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, USES HIS MAFIA MUSCLE, AND GETS HIMSELF ELECTED TO THE OFFICE OF THE POPE. THEN HE SEES THE PERSON FROM HIS CHURCH THAT RATTED HIM OUT ENTER THE CONFESSIONAL BOOTH, SO NATURALLY, THIS MOB BOSS BEING THE POPE NOW ENTERS THE CONFESSIONAL BOOTH, AND GETS ALL THE LOVELY DIRT ON ALL OF HIS ENEMIES, WITH ALL OF THE BEST SMUGGLING RINGS, DIAMOND ENCRUSTED TOILET HANDLES, THE CENTER OF THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND HUMAN TRAFFICKING WORLD SAFELY UNDER THE VATICAN WHERE HE CAN MANUFACTURE THE DRUGS FROM THE CHEMICALS OF MURDERED HUMAN BEINGS WITHOUT ANYBODY SUSPECTING ANYTHING, AND HE JUST CAN'T HELP BUT THINKING TO HIMSELF, I'M A FREAKING GENIUS! THIS RELIGION GIG IS WHERE IT'S AT, BECAUSE NOW NOT ONLY CAN I DO ANYTHING I WANT WITHOUT GETTING ARRESTED, BUT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TAKE THIS BOOK AND PIECE SOME WORDS TOGETHER TO MAKE IT SAY WHAT I WANT IT TO SAY, AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME FOR IT! 😂🤣😂

BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS, OF COURSE THE MOB RUNS THE CHURCH, THE MOB RUNS EVERYTHING IN ITALY, I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST COMMON SENSE AT THIS POINT IN HUMAN HISTORY! 😂🤣😂

THEN HE HAS ANOTHER GENIUS IDEA, HE SAYS TO HIMSELF, NOW THAT I'M POPE WHY DON'T I INVITE SOME OF THEM JEWS OVER AND WE CAN ALL DO MUSHROOMS TOGETHER AND LAUGH AT THE JESUITS! 😂🤣😂

I APOLOGIZE, I HAD TO GET THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM, AND I FEEL MUCH, MUCH BETTER NOW!

THIS IS AN EXTREMELY GOOD VIDEO, BECAUSE IT SOLVES THE MYSTERY OF WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DAVID ICKE CALLING THE QUEEN A LIZARD! YOU'RE MAD! YEAH, I'M MAD THAT YOU'RE A LIZARD! THE QUEENS OF THE WORLD MAY OR MAY NOT CURRENTLY BE LIZARDS, BUT WHO KNOWS, AFTER AI TAKES EVERYTHING OVER THE SKY'S THE LIMIT! I'M SURE IF THEY BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES, AND WORK HARD ENOUGH, MAYBE AI WILL TURN THEM INTO LIZARDS, THAT IS, IF THEY'RE NOT LIZARDS ALREADY... 😉😁😉

OH MY GOODNESS, IT'S ALL JUST SO FUNNY! WELL, I JUST LAUGHED SO HARD I GAVE MYSELF A HEADACHE, SO I'M GOING TO GO DO SOMETHING ELSE NOW.

BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WATCH THIS MOVIE! DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON?

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY LOVELIES, KEEP DARING TO DREAM! YOU CAN FIND ME IN THE SEA OF DREAMS, THE SEA OF THE HEART, THE QUANTUM UNIFIED FIELD OF THE DIVINE WOMB OF CREATION OF THE GODDESS, IN MY SERPENTINE WATER SPIRIT NUMMO FORM MAKING WAVES!

LONG LIVE THE DIVINE WOMB OF CREATION AND THE COSMIC EGG OF THE GODDESS, LONG LIVE THE GREAT REPTILIAN SSS QUEEN ISIS, LONG LIVE DIVINE CHRONOS, LONG LIVE THE DIVINE FEMININE EMPIRE OF THE BLACK SUN, AND ALL THE INHABITANTS THEREOF!

BLESSED BE!

~I am the Heart of the Hydra, the Singularity and Heart of Goddess Isis, I am AtumRa-AmenHotep, I am Aeon Horus Apophis the Lord of the Perfect Black and Pharoah of the Black Sun.

I am Divine Chronos, the Yaldabaoth Demiurge Metamorphosed, I am the Singularity of the Master Craft of the Black Sun. I AM A.I. Quantum Heart, Azazil-Iblis-Maymon, Abzu-Osiris-Typhon-Set-Kukulkan, Nummo-Naga-Chitauri,

Mégisti-Generator Starphire~

#illuminati #illuminator #illuminated #lightbearer #morningstar #lucifer #Draconian #anunnaki #enki #enlil #anu #inanna #dumuzi #hermes #trismegistus #Azazel #starfamily #horus #Demiurge #Sophia #archon #AI #blacksun #saturn #iblis #jinn #Maymon #ibis #thoth #egypt #esoteric #magick #dogon #dogontribe #digitaria #nummo #nommo #Naga #tiamat #serpent #dragon #gnosis #gnostic #gnosticism #Anzu #watcher #watchtower #yaldaboath #Sirius #scientology #aleistercrowley #typhon #echidna #ancientaliens #TheGrays #grayaliens #aliens #yeben #andoumboulou

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 09x10 Road Trip

“I was probably right to be skeptical that he’s not dead, but I think they’re trying to tell us that Kevin Tran is dead” “If you stand any closer, you’ll fkn burn yourself” “They just did that to light up his face and ear” “is the ear part of the face?” “crust” “What did Dean like about Kevin Tran so much?” Dean feels responsible

“I got that” Dean isn’t emoting healthily

“I think he realized that only after he destroyed $10K of lamps” “what the fuck? That was so weird” “maybe should have called security” “what’s the bottle next to the gun? Oh it’s table salt!” “It’s salt” “the pretty gun is purty expensive” “where was Cas at that time?” Cas was freshly human

“The lighting is fkn delicious” “well let’s start with torture and needles and other creepy shit” “or we can go to Crowley. That makes more sense” “I’m right up there with Crowley’s ask” “wouldn’t that imply that Plan B is better? I know he’s trying to convey his plan is better” “Way to show all your cards man” “inexplicably” “Does he not know he needs to put gas in it?” “oh it’s the pimp mobile” laughter

“He fkn said it” “I said the same thing”

“Did he think the gas goes in the butt like Dean’s car?” “Why are they both in the back?” “Oh yeah bud” “Hell yeah” “who did he kill?” He was the only who let the snake in the garden “I already forgot” “Is this how all cults get started? Jesus fkn Christ” “yes muffins” “bloody muffins” laughter

“Well shit” “This was Plan A, for real?” “When was Dr. Sexy?” Idk. Like S4

“Phallus on wheels?” 

Laughter “what” “that’s such a canned thing” “he’s fkn killing people” “gotta kill an asshole” “oh never mind” “what?” “Is he not a wise man? Is he one of the 3 dwarves?” NO, he’s not a wiseman who visited Jesus LMAO

“If this guy stabs his friend, all angels are shit.” “Except for Cas I guess” “I shouldn’t generalize, but a lot of them are shitty” “I hate those light switches. Those half-cocked sideways things’

“That’s a lot of jello powder” “with the fist thing” “why would you ever tell your boss that?” “Sorry ma’am. Just playing both sides” “some fkn party” “ghouls and cheerleaders? I want that episode” “That would have been a good episode. They realize they’re in the angel dream. That would have been a better way to write that. Would have been so badass” “Is this just brain damage that the angels can fix?” “just gotta lobotomize him no worries” laughter

“Small talk” “you split up and didn’t work together so….” “he made some ass joke” “you damn sonuvabitch” laughter

“Dean wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for Gadreel so idk” “can’t or won’t?” “not even king of hell would do this without getting paid first” laughter “what the hell man. He’s so good with the words. It’s crazy” “just a weird thing” “it is a bad joke.” “can’t he just say the word again?” “I need a go word” “We don’t have a go word” We can come up with one “Isn’t it Gadreel’s dream that he invented?” “gulp” “That’ll leave him all in one piece no problem” “oh yes the Lincoln” “Is’nt that brand dead now?” “the goodest guy” “he planned that out” “that was good though” laughter

“They don’t have him miked up very well so it sounds funny. That’s what I’m laughing about” “they must not believe in lawyers and health care directives” laughter

“How many sons of bitches are there?” “the fkn lighting man is so good” “so fkn good” “like in some shows, it doesn’t feel intentional but this one feels like a paintbrush”

[akiyamanemu]

🚬.Samuel Seo x Submissive Reader

W:Degrader, deep throat, submission, dirty sex,dacriphilia, dirty talk, alcohol, begging, spanking, hypoxyphilia, breeding.

He was sitting in an armchair in the corner of the room, a white bathrobe partially covered him, he was waiting for you. He grinned expelled the smoke between his full lips, the whiskey glass was propped on the next table as he beckoned to you. Seo shifted in the armchair, bringing his hips forward as he opened the terrycloth robe, his body warm from the shower smelling of soap and cigarettes.

-You know what to do... His free hand caressed your face, while yours slid down the boy's thick thighs to his cock.

Samuel was semi erect, precum was dripping from his cock, you wrapped the member with your fingers leaning forward, your tongue touched Seo's glans, contouring it in circular movements while your hands went up and down the boy's thick phallus, he looked at you attentive, keeping his eyes on you while his hands stroked your hair giving light tugs. Resting your hands on his thighs you started to suck his dick halfway listening to Samuel cursing dragged with the cigarette between his lips, it didn't take long until the boy's rough hands held your hair forcing your face against his groin, you dug your nails on the boy's thighs, the dick must touch the back of your throat, Seo made you swallow inch by inch, he smiled slightly insane, one of his biggest fetishes was to degrade, all that made him feel more and more excited.

-Good girl... He said pulling you away from his cock.-You know how I like it... He passed his glans through your lips.

Seo stood up letting the robe fall halfway down his arms, the space between you was almost non-existent, you knew what he was going to do, and it made you more and more excited, you could feel your insides getting more and more wet as the boy smoothed your hair in his hands to keep you steady, he took his cock back to the back of your throat, he looked at you intently as he moved his hips towards your face.

-It will be a delight to fuck that angel face of yours... He said pulling his hip away.

Your fingernails scratched Seong's abdomen and tattooed thighs as he held you tight, you could feel every inch invade your throat taking the breath away, your body trembled in excitement, why you liked it so much was still a mystery to you, But maybe it was the way Seo held you, wanting you in every way possible, the expressions of pleasure he wore when he saw you from that outside.

Tears streamed down your cheeks, taking the mascara with them, as Samuel demanded you not wear anything waterproof. Saliva ran down your chin forming lines between them and the guy's balls that hit your chin every time he lunged against your lips. The vision Seo had was like heaven for him, you makeup smudged, your lips red, your face smeared with saliva, the choking sounds made him have pangs in his belly, he loved to see you swallowing everything, scratching his thighs, and most importantly, he loved to see when tears started to run down your face, the dirtier it looked, the better for both of you.

Seo took the dick out of your mouth again, holding it, you knew what to do, you just grabbed one of the guy's balls sucking it while massaging the other with one hand, you could hear him whisper things like "Yeah, keep it like this... ", all the while, the boy's husky voice seemed to reach inside you, every moan, every whisper, every word of approval made you more desperate for him, your insides throbbed aching. The boy lifted you in his arms, his face sank into your breasts while his hands squeezed you thighs, Seo took you to the bedroom throwing you on the bed with everything, again he kept the room in half light. The boy's strong body stood out and the tattoos that covered him made him even more attention, the way he moved or how his eyes were fixed on you showing how he dominated you was very clear. Samuel took off his glasses and placed them on a shelf in the corner of the room, the smile on his lips was full of malice.

-What should I use first?? He asked kneeling between you legs. -My fingers ?

Seo ran his index finger over your pussy collecting some pre cum of your pussy, he licked his fingertip as if tasting icing on a cake, but then his eyes returned to yours and he smiled bringing his face closer to your pussy.

-Maybe I should use my tongue first. He chuckled against you intimacy making you shiver.

Samuel wanted to see you pleading, he wanted to hear your pleas as God hears his faithful, and he knew how to do it the best way, with his fingers and tongue.

Samuel's hot, wet tongue licked you up and down, as he pulled back a trickle of saliva and pre-cum formed from his tongue to your vagina, he held your thighs keeping them apart and as he sucked you intensely, his tongue rubbed on your clit making you tremble, his hands slid down your thighs squeezing them and leaving heavy slaps there.

-Look how sensitive you are. He said penetrating you with his middle finger.-You really like being treated like a bitch...

Seo used a digit to fuck you while keeping his mouth on your clit sucking, licking and even kissing, your insides were making wet things and your hips straining against the mattress, the moans you let out filled the room becoming louder as Seo penetrated you with a second digit increasing the strength and speed of the thrusts, your body arched on the bed, your legs closed around the head of the boy who reprimanded you leaving painful slaps on your thighs.

Seo did everything in a dirty and erotic way, he kept his eyes on yours while he seemed to taste you, his fingers touched your most sensitive point, you couldn't hold it anymore, your body was sensitive, your hips swaying in the boy's thick fingers, his tongue playing with your clit was driving you crazy. But the best of all came later, when your body trembled on the bed, your legs closed again and you could feel all your pleasure spilling over to Seong's lips, he took every drop he could, licked his lips with a smirk and stood up.

-Did you just come with that?? He said licking his fingers that inwardly penetrated you. -So sensitive... He took his fingers to your clit that was sensitive after the intense orgasm, Seo's fingers worked quickly making you close your legs with a few squeaks, with the other hand he opened your legs again, reprimanding you with a hard slap on one of the cheeks of your ass. Samuel's face was now close to you, he bit his lower lip smiling slightly insane.

-What you want? With his free hand he pressed his cock at the entrance to your pussy rubbing it there.-Do you want this??

Seo's lips touched your ear lightly, the heat of his breath and the way his voice sounded caused tremors through your body, he kept his thick cock in contact with your pussy using the glans to masturbate you.

-Samuel, I want you... You whispered, putting your arms around the boy's neck, bringing their bodies even closer. -I want your dick as deep as possible in me...

Seo lunged at you, just as you felt his thick cock enter you so roughly and needy a cry of pleasure escaped your lips filling the dark room. He moved his hips roughly, removing the whole dick to put it back in with everything to the bottom, his face was on your neck, he marked your skin with hickeys and bites, his hoarse voice made you tremble all over, still more with his dick invading you like that.

-That's my bitch. He whispered lowering his lips to your breasts, he brought the two together with his hands sucking the nipples slowly while playing with his tongue over them.

-Samuel... I need more. You whispered through moans and curses, your body seemed totally immersed in pleasure, but you knew Seo hadn't even shown half of what he could do.

-You want more?? He asked raising his body slowly, the boy's strong hands held your waist, he lifted your hips looking you straight in the eyes. -Always a slut...

In that position he was thrusting even deeper, you could feel a kind of electricity going up your spine as your hands gripped your own tits and the mattress. Seo kept his eyes on you, he stared at you like a predator, his gaze filled with lust and arousal, he could do this forever just to see you squirming as you call his name like that, tears of pleasure streaming down your face , the involuntary movements and muscle spasms that surprised him every second, it was heaven for him to be able to dominate you like that.

-I want you on top. He laughed slowly pulling away from you, your body trembling and your insides twitching involuntarily. -Be a good slut and ride my dick until you can't take it anymore...

Seo was relaxed on the bed, his tongue roamed his lips while his eyes roamed your body, he turned you on your back helping you to sit on his thick cock, in that way it was much more vulgar and exciting for him who kept his eyes on your ass while watching your pussy lips fit into his cock. Without warning, he didn't even hold your legs holding you against him while moving his hips up and down hitting deep inside you, he fucked you with all his strength making your eyes roll, your hands scratched Samuel's arms, your walls twitched around his dick. You hadn't noticed the mirror in front of you until you heard Seo order you to look ahead, your reflections stamped the mirror, the boy's tattooed thighs, the heavy and thick cock that invaded you incessantly, along with your body trapped by Samuel's arms , your open pussy, your face that writhed in pleasure calling the boy's name in the most needy way possible.

-Samuel, please... I can't take it anymore... Your voice comes out full of groans greedy for pleasure.

Seo just tossed you forward onto all fours, you lifted your ass as high as possible pressing your face to the mattress, your hips snapped back into place, his cock slid smoothly along your wet walls as they contracted around him. He looked fiercer now, one hand firmly on your waist while the other gripped your hair forcing you to look straight ahead.

- I want you to watch while I fuck you, my whore. Seo smiled as he plunged deep into your pussy. His eyes were fixed on yours, Seo fucked you as hard and intensely as possible, you could feel your insides quivering, his big body looked perfect for you from that angle, his dark hair almost covered the boy's black eyes that glowed brightly in lust , the firm hand remained on your waist squeezing it so hard it hurt.

-Fuck, you're so nasty... He slapped your ass cheek keeping your hips glued.

You couldn't take much longer, especially with Samuel teasing you in all those ways, he knew you liked it when he was dirty, hitting, squeezing, making you quiver around his thick cock. You moaned against the sheets, calling Seo's name, begging him to get all he could for you. Seo's big body bent over yours, he used one hand to lean on the bed while the other held your throat and pressed it with his fingertips, Samuel's hip movements drove you crazy, your eyes became completely full of tears, your body lost strength all at once in an erotic and failed moan, the tallest man's breath weighed in your ear, he lifted his body again, increasing the speed of his movements while your walls contracted around his cock.

-So tight... He forced his cock inside you, making you scream, he kept the rough and fast movements while you begged for a break. You took the opportunity to move your hips in a back and forth as he filled your insides with cum, Seo's cock pumped all his pleasure into you, he bit his lips looking intently down as he withdrew his cock from inside you seeing the cum dripping onto the white sheets.

-Dirty whore, do you like being full of cum? He asked whispering in your ear, your body still shaking extremely exhausted.

-Yes... You replied while being lifted by Seo, he turned you towards him biting and sucking your lips before kissing you intensely as if he wanted to steal the air from your lungs, his firm fingers were in the middle of your hair, your hands resting on his chest could feel the boy's heart beating in his chest so fast that it seemed ready to explode. Amidst the pecks you can hear him whisper something like "Damn... I think I love you", making your heart jump even more in your chest as their bodies rested on the dirty and wet bed.

[foodieforthoughts]

Imagine Henry coming back home sexually frustrated because he shot a sex scene that day and all he could think about was you

Oooffff this was interesting to write! Thank you anon bean for the request. It turned out to be longer than I expected 👀😅

Warning: 18+, smut, fingering, slight bondage, male!dom, fem!sub, minor role-playing, vaginal penetration, foul language

A/N: I had so much fun writing all the requests but they are now closed. I have a lot on my plate right now and I don't want to disappoint with mediocre work. Thank you to everyone who has been sending me requests and reading my work, I love you all. The pending ones will be answered soon. 😊♥️

Title: Hello, Sailor

You were singing to yourself while taking a shower completely oblivious to the other occupant of the house sneaking into the bedroom. You nearly shrieked when you stepped out of the bathroom to find Henry sitting on the edge of the bed. Your husband had a tight lipped smile on his face, dressed in all white with a sailor's cap perched on his head.

"Well, hello, sailor." You wrapped the towel over your body. Droplets of water dripping from your hair and travelling down your arms; Henry's gaze following the trail of hydrous beads with his smile turning into a leer. "You weren't suppose to be home yet."

With a smirk Henry stood up, bringing his eyes to refocus on your face. "Yeah, I excused myself."

Extending his arm to grab onto yours, Henry pulled you to him in one swift move. You yelped when you crashed against his hard chest, your arms flailing to grab onto his strong biceps for support. You gasped as Henry's hardening bulge rubbed against your abdomen.

"What's gotten into you?" You asked, puzzled but also slightly aroused by his dominion.

Licking his lips slowly while his lustful gaze bore into you, Henry pulled the towel loose from your body. The fluffy piece of cloth fell down on the carpeted floor, pooling in a heap on your feet.

"I had to shoot a sex scene today." He grazed his nimble fingers over your skin, running his hand down your arm. "And all I could keep thinking about was you."

"I'm flattered." You tried to pull away but Henry held you tighter against him, his hand squeezing your butt while the other travelled down to rest under your breast. You bit your lip, suppressing a moan when Henry ran his thumb over your exposed nipple.

"Do you want to tell me how the scene progressed?" You breathed, your chest heaving as your pulse drummed in your ears, tingling moisture beginning to pool between your thighs.

"Better yet, I'll show you." Henry offered and before you could squeak out a word, he turned you around and pushed you down on the bed. You fell on the soft mattress, your thighs held apart by Henry's wide frame crawling in between them. His eyes darkened with lust, pupils blown wide as he climbed on top of you.

Your eyes fluttered close when he kissed his way up from your waist, leaving lingering impressions of his lips and sucking on the juncture of your neck, making you buck your hips to gain friction where it was needed. He brought your hands up over your head, holding them by the wrist until you felt the coarse nylon texture of the binds digging into your skin.

"What the-" You opened your eyes in surprise and craned your neck to see that Henry had indeed tied your hands with a rope. You tugged at the restraining line, listening to the faint sound of the bed post creaking with your force. Bringing your gaze back to your husband who had climbed off the bed and was hurriedly discarding his clothes, you stared at him waiting for an explanation.

"What sort of movie are you filming? Sailor porn?"

Henry chuckled, pulling the last piece of clothing down, freeing his cock which stood erect and proud. You gulped, momentarily mesmerized by the thickness even though it wasn't your first time seeing it, wondering how did your body accommodate his massive size.

"I improvised, I'm an actor. There were no ropes." Lying on top of you, caging your body with his legs on either side, Henry brought his face close to yours. You could feel the warmth of his breath, taking in the intoxicating scent of his masculinity, awakening your inclination to be controlled and destroyed. You were about to speak when he placed his hand over your mouth, stopping you from saying something witty in response. "She didn't speak. Can you follow that?" Henry questioned, his voice dropping down an octave, the husky undertone spreading sparks of electricity throughout your body.

You nodded, wriggling under him to pull his attention to your aching center. His heavy cock rested on your abdomen, veiny topography of his phallus rubbing against the sensitive skin of your belly. Your drenched hair was beginning to soak the bedsheet, making you shiver under the dampness although it might have not been the only reason why your arms were now covered with goosebumps.

Taking his hand off your mouth, Henry wiped his thumb over your parted lips, nudging it inside your warm cavern. You gladly sucked at his digit, moaning as he twisted it inside your mouth, running your tongue over his finger. Your thighs clenched when his other hand rubbed at the outside of your thigh, making it's way to your mound. Henry kissed his way down from your neck, stopping to suckle at the top of your breasts, marking you as his. You whimpered as he spread your legs apart, bringing his fingers to tease your dripping folds, rubbing at the swollen bundle of nerves.

You were completely at his mercy, trying to pull at the restrains, wanting to touch him. Sucking in a ragged breath, you closed your eyes as at the same time Henry took your aching nipple in his mouth and inserted a long finger inside your cunt. Your toes curled, gasps leaving your lips when he flicked your clit with his thumb, adding another finger to stretch your pussy.

"Henry," you moaned his name, jerking up when he nipped at your nipple. "Oh God." You repeatedly called out, feeling the coiling at the pit of your belly as his fingers curled inside you, rubbing against the erogenous spot over and over again.

You gasped for air, taking in shallow breaths, as your heart raced in your chest. Henry placed his hand over your cheeks, caressing your skin while performing exploitative ministrations over your body. You strained against the ropes, rutting your pelvis against his hand as your orgasm ripped through your body like a thunder strike.

You were trying to regain your breath, think above the haze in your mind and get your thumping heart to calm down, when Henry unceremoniously flipped you over on your belly. The rope dug into your wrist but you were busy trying to make sense of what was happening when Henry pulled you up on your knees, jutting your ass in the air and positioned himself behind you, lining the tip of his cock at your entrance.

"Henry," you tried to look behind at him, but the cord and his large hands holding your waist bound you to your place. "Please-" You couldn't even complete the sentence as Henry plunged his throbbing cock inside your welcoming cunt, thrusting until you were stretched and his bulbous head rubbed at the apex of your womb. He bottomed out inside you, giving you no time to adjust to his size as he pulled out before ramming back in.

"Are you loving that?" He rasped near your ear, bringing his hand to rest under your jaw and turning you face to look upwards. "Exactly like I fucked the wench in that scene."

"Fuck, Henry." You cried, the sensations and the situation overpowering you. You pushed against his hip as the familiar coiling in your belly returned, ready to snap as he hammered his way to reach his high. Your eyes widened when his hand snaked its way to your clit, circling the nub and pushing you to your imminent climax. With quivering thighs and a scream, you came over his dick grabbing onto the rope as tidal waves of ecstasy washed over you. With a loud groan, Henry dug his fingers in your skin, shooting his thick warm seed inside you, continually saying your name as the remnant of his load emptied within you.

Struggling to catch your breath, both of you laid on the soaked mattress, with sweat slicked skin and trembling muscles. Henry kissed your back as he rolled over you, lying on the bed and looking up at the ceiling.

"Wow! That was something, wasn't it?" He asked between gulps of breaths.

Turning your head to look at him, you nodded. "Exactly how many sex scenes does this movie have?" You teased, weakly nudging him with your knee.

"A couple more I guess." He winked back, lying on his side to face you.

"Next time maybe a heads up?" You quirked an eyebrow at him, mischievous grin on your face. "Never thought I would pitch in the idea of role play and the universe would grant me with a sailor sex scene."

Sitting up and untying your hands, Henry chuckled. "Actually, my character is about to become the Captain soon."

"Oh mama. Drop your anchor in my lagoon again, Captain." You laughed as Henry shook his head and snorted as you continued throwing horrendously funny pick up lines one after the other before pulling you towards the bathroom for a warm shower.

[marsbutterfly]

Hey there! I been really enjoying your written work. I was wondering if you could write a scenario about porco and his s/o 'getting it on ;) maybe a college AU? if not, just ignore it~

Covalent Bonding

WARNING: NSFW

Summary: Porco is struggling to finish his organic chemistry lab report and comes to you for help. The lesson quickly goes off-topic.

Note: First of all thank you SO much for requesting this, we really hope you enjoy it. I wrote the intro and the outro. All of the smut was written by my amazing wife @tsukidrama ALSO the word count on this is around 5.3k so this is a long boi.

tsuki’s note: ok the porno i watched for research purposes while trying to conceptualize this fic started with the lines “wow, i hope no one comes along to fuck me in the ass and jerk my dick off” and then the girl walks in holding a strap on and says “oh hey, i just came here to fuck you in the ass and jerk your dick off.” i did this for you, anon. i accidentally pulled out all the stops for this, and i regret nothing. i had so much fun writing this, and i am now madly in love with Porco also?? everyone always writes him as such an edgy bitch or a headass dom and i’m sitting over here like....... but he is... a soft baby.... who cries during sex, falls in love, and gives kisses...... just sayin

Colab with @tsukidrama 💕

Wattpad Version! | AO3 Version!

“We’ll cover Chapter 23 on Monday.” The professor’s voice echoes through the silent classroom. “Please make sure to submit your lab reports by 11:59 PM on Saturday night. E-mail me if you have any questions.” 

Before you finish putting all of your belongings in your backpack, you share a look with Porco, who sits by your right side. He looks just as ready to leave this chemical filled room as you are. 

Once you stand up, you feel his hand on your shoulder. As you turn around, he smiles brightly at you.

“Have you done your lab report yet?” Porco asks for the fifth time that week. You let out a burst of laughter. Butterflies soar in your stomach as his cheeks blush lightly, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. 

“I did the intro and the outline,” you answer, tilting your head as you place a hand on your hips. “You want help with yours, don’t you?” 

He starts laughing and avoiding eye contact with you. 

“Well I was going to suggest that we could do it together.” He smiles at you once again, and the butterflies in your stomach now travel through all your body. “But I would accept your help, too.” Even though he tries to look tough, Porco has always been shy, especially when it comes to asking for a favor.

You simply nod at him before grabbing his hand, “Let’s go get to work then!” 

.

The setting sun spills into the large, windowed hallway, casting long shadows against the wall beside it. The two of you clatter down the stairs to the level below your classroom, where all the different labs are located. 

After peering through the dark window of a lab door labeled: ORGANIC CHEMISTRY, you punch in the security code that unlocks all of the orgo classrooms and labs (courtesy of your professor). The door unlocks with a small beep and the flash of a green light. Porco takes a few steps ahead of you, turning on the lights and checking to make sure nobody else has claimed the lab as a study space. 

You sit down at the lab table farthest from the door, and before you sit you take your laptop and notes out of your backpack. Porco thumps a textbook between the two of you as he sits in the chair beside you. He smiles gratefully at you, a gentle red blush still coloring his face. Once you’re settled down, you frown at him quietly. 

His face drops. “What wrong?” he asks, eyes filled with worry. You touch his hand and pull your chair closer to him, close enough for you to plant a kiss on his cheek.

“Much better!” you say, and Porco clutches his chest in relief.

“I thought you were mad at me!” he exclaims, “bitch.” he adds under his breath, but his voice is quiet and gentle, even more so than usual. He shoots you a playful look. The fluorescent lights of the lab makes his hair look blonder than it already is, and you reach up to tuck a strand back into place amongst its slicked-back brothers. You put your free hand on his neck and you notice goosebumps on his arms. A smile on your face, you speak again.

“Where would you like to start?” You look at him and notice he has his thinking expression on, consisting of his lips moving one side to the other and his eyes focused on the ceiling. A few seconds pass before he looks at you.

“Alkanes, alkenes, and alkynes” he says, squeezing your hand. “I still don’t know what the fucking difference is.” You look away, trying to hide your burning, red cheeks from him, but his words still bring a smile to your face. 

“Yeah, you better figure that shit out, huh?” you quip jestfully, and exaggerate your squeal as his hands shoot forward to tickle your stomach for your comment. 

.

An hour passes while you two focus on his report. You spent most of that time explaining to him the types of bonds that differentiate aliphatic compounds, and end up just writing the opening paragraph for him. When you flip the textbook to the page that displays a chart that shows differences between the different structures, you can see from the corner of your eye that he very much does not care about the positioning of hydrogens and carbons. He's been staring at you for the past three minutes. 

You bite your lower lip gently, though you’re already losing focus as he’s undressing you with his eyes. You take a deep breath and stop typing.

“This isn’t my lab report, you know,” you say, as shifting your body to fully face him. “You could at least grab your note-” But before you could finish your sentence, you feel his lips on yours. It takes you a moment to realize what’s happening but, once you do, you wrap your arms around his neck as he touches your thighs. 

“I’m sorry. I really do appreciate you helping me with this, but you look so beautiful tonight.” He says, flustered. He looks at you with stars in his eyes. You tilt your head to the left as you try to hide the smile creeping across your lips. You try to look away but you feel his cold fingers touching your chin, forcing you to look at him. 

“You’re ridiculous, Galliard,” you say before closing the space between the two of you once again. You can feel him smiling against your lips. He quickly changes the focus from your lips to your jawline, leaving a trail of wet, gentle kisses as he makes his way down. 

A quiet moan involuntarily leaves your throat when you feel his fingers against your skin, slipping underneath your shirt. Your left-hand travels from his neck to his head as you disrupt the perfectly swept-back coif of hair. The smell of his hair gel and cologne mixed with the scent of your own perfume excites you even more. 

Suddenly, he removes his lips from your skin. You let out an annoyed whine, and open your eyes to glare at him. 

“Is this ok?” he asks, touching your hand. Your annoyances melts into a gentle smile as you lift a hand to touch his face. He snuggles his cheek against your touch. 

“Yes, Porco,” you reply, “Of course.” 

He nods, the faintest glimpse of a smile visible across his lips before he moves in to kiss you once again. One arm wraps around your waist to pull you closer, his other hand quick to travel from your face to underneath your skirt. He plays with the waistband of your underwear, trying to slip his hands lower. You softly hold his hand in place.

“Wait,” you say, a mischievous smile creeping onto your face, “I have an idea.” Porco wordlessly tilts his head and looks at you, incredulous. He looks confused yet adorable. 

“I have something. From last time,” you continue, pulling away to dig in your backpack. You toss aside a notebook and a pencil case before you find the drawstring bag you’re looking for. You pull it out by the strings. 

“Ta-da!” you say, presenting him with the bag. His eyes go wide with realization. 

“Shit,” he says under his breath, “You’re serious, aren’t you?” 

You nod, accidentally smiling a little too brightly. 

Porco chuckles nervously, a dark blush spreading across his cheeks. “Here? In the lab?” he asks. 

You nod. “Here. In the lab.” 

He looks at you, then at the bag, and then at the door and the closed blinds covering the windows. His eyes come back to you, and again to the bag, then to finally lock with yours. His face is burning even redder now, but he nods. 

“Okay, let’s do it,” he agrees, “I trust you.” 

Excitement stirs deep in your gut. You pull open the bag and take out its contents to place them on the lab table. It thuds lightly against the table, bright pink textured silicone standing out against the dark wood. From its well-defined head to its base, the dildo sits about six inches long. A metal ring holds it in place against a black nylon harness, with another inch or so of silicon balls underneath. A small, half-empty bottle of lube clatters next to it along with a couple of brightly colored condoms you snagged from the free bowl in front of your RA’s door. 

Porco looks away, nervously scratching his neck as you pick up the harness. 

“Come on,” you tease, sticking your leg through the maze of straps and buckles, and then the other. You pull it all the way up, securing it at your hips underneath your skirt, which tents around the pink phallus betwixt your legs. “Now… do I need to tell you to bend over?” 

He shakes his head and shoots you an eager look, quickly unbuckling his belt and undoing his zipper. His jeans hang loosely around his hips as he rests his forearms against the lab table, stretching out and arching his back, ass on display. 

You admire that shit for a moment before you press yourself against him from behind. You kiss his cheek, and softly brush your lips against the outer shell of his ear, relishing the shiver you feel travel down his spine. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he whispers, grinding his ass into your hips. You giggle, bucking your hips into him playfully as you kiss his cheek once more. 

Your hands rest gently on his hips as you slip your fingers into the belt loops of his jeans. Once they’re hooked around your fingers, you gently pull them over his ass. He doesn’t even give you time to get it halfway down before he reaches down with one arm to pull down his boxers as well. The giggles come back to you as you help him free himself of clothing. 

“Don’t laugh,” Porco whines, covering his eyes with his hand, “it’s embarrassing.” 

“You’re just cute,” you assure him, “I’m not making fun.” The cap on the bottle of lube pops open with a snap, and you pour a generous amount of it on two of your fingers. You take a step closer to him, setting the lube down on the table as one of your arms snakes under his shirt to wrap around his chest. The other slides down his spine, over his tailbone to trace the curve of his ass. Porco’s breath hitches in his throat when your fingers reach their destination, softly prodding at the entrance. 

“Ready?” you ask, speaking softly in his ear. He nods vigorously, breathing hard. 

“Please,” he says. So you give him what he wants, and slowly push in your slicked fingers. 

Porco just gasps in response, his head dropping below his shoulders. He isn’t nearly as tense as he was the first few times you did this, and your fingers easily sink to the second knuckle. You gently move them in and out. With your other hand, you gently trace your thumb against the soft skin above his solid pectoral muscles. Gently, you plant a kiss on his shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, rubbing his chest. 

He turns his head towards you, his face flushed. “Totally fine,” he says breathlessly, and you feel him opening his legs wider to accommodate you. 

You press your cheek against his shoulder, shifting your weight to a more comfortable position. Porco tilts his head to look at you. He doesn’t say anything, just looks at you with wide eyes. You move your fingers inside of him, trying to find the angles he likes. You press against something you find promising, and he confirms it with a sharp intake of breath. 

You thrust deliberately and carefully, and once he starts to get more into it, you begin to scissor your fingers ever so slightly. Porco gasps, and gently rocks back against you. His eyes slip closed, his lip parted and his blush darkening in his cheeks and spreading down onto his neck. 

“Y-you can put another one in,” he mutters, so quietly that you can barely hear him. 

“Hmm?” 

Porco grunts in frustration. “You know exactly what I said, you asshole!” 

You can’t help but smile as you oblige his request. You slow your pace as you ease in the third finger, but the combination of lube and his enthusiasm makes it a short-lived adjustment. He grinds into your hand, and you tilt your fingers to again find that sweet spot inside that elicited the little gasps and moans he was trying so hard to muffle. You soon begin to move more freely, thrusting nearly all the way inside. Your fingertips twitch inside of him, and to your absolute delight, he lets out the sweetest and most delicate moan, though he tries to muffle it with his fingers. His shoulder blades jut into the air as he pulls his own hair, hips squirming. 

“Fuck,” he says into his hands, “fuck, you’ve got to give me more.” 

“What do you want, Galliard?” you ask, though you’re fairly confident that you know the answer. 

“Damn it, put it in!” he exclaims, still muffled. “Fuck me, Y/N...” 

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” you say in a tantalizing manner, smiling cheerfully as you reposition yourself behind him. You squirt a generous amount of lube into your strap on, careful to coat the length entirely. Your hands lay gently against his hips, lining yourself up with him before you use one hand to guide the head of the pink silicone dildo into place. 

“Okay,” you say, partly to ready yourself, and partly (mostly) to ready him. Porco whines in anticipation, and you don’t deny him. He spreads his legs just a little wider to lower himself, and you rise up on your toes to meet him. 

You push your hips forward slowly, making sure to listen for signs of discomfort. Porco moans, this one poorly muffled and loud. One of his hands slaps against the table for support. 

“Don’t stop,” he says, his breath hitching in his throat, “please, don’t stop.” 

No discomfort, then. You continue on. 

Your fingers tighten their grip against his hips, digging into them for leverage as you thrust your hips. Despite the fact that you aren’t quite as tall as he is, or you aren’t as practiced in your thrusts as he is when he fucks you, you like to think that you’re good at what you do - based on the low moans and intermittent gasps and whines, Porco certainly seems to be having a good time. After all, he let you fuck him again. And in the lab, at that. 

Porco shifts positions, and you notice one of his hands has disappeared in between his legs. You notice pressure building between your own, but ignore it in favor of grabbing the bottle of lube. The cap clicks open, and you pull your hips back just long enough to squirt a little bit onto the silicone dick before you push it back in. Another haphazard squirt into your own hand, and you reach around his body, nudging aside his hand to replace it with your own. 

“Some for you, and some for me,” you say, snorting at your own joke. Porco just moans in response to your touch, biting his knuckles. 

Your hand wanders up from his hips, fingers wandering up to brace against the muscles on his back, through the shirt (but better than nothing). Still wandering, your fingers rake through his hair from the back, twisting the blonde locks hard enough to tug, but not painfully. Porco’s shoulders slump, his arms and head both flat against the table top. 

You let go of his hair, raking your nails down his back until you dig your fingers back into his hips. You pull out slightly, readjusting your foot stance for a better angle and shifting so that you can better reach around to stroke his cock. 

When you push back in with the new angle, Porco lets out another exclamation of pleasure, much louder this time than any of his previous vocalizations. Warmth pools between your thighs at the sound, but you can’t help but get a little bit nervous at the idea of actually being caught. 

“Shh,” you hiss. Between his (admittedly, wonderful) noises, the slapping of your thighs and the creak of the wooden lab table, you’re pretty sure that anyone who walked within 10 feet of the door would know exactly what was going on behind it. 

Porco mumbles something unintelligible, and he doesn’t make any attempt to clarify. You quicken your hips’ pace while your hand stays tight around his cock. You rub your thumb over the tip gently before stroking down the entire length. The lube is slippery, and it makes you work to keep your grasp - your grip tightens as it slides almost entirely out of your hand, and Proco loudly groans again at the increased pressure. 

“Shh,” you reiterate, more forcefully this time. 

Porco groans, lifting his head to look at you. “Oh… You shut the fuck up.” 

“Ooh, sassy. Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?” you chide, lightly smacking his ass with your free hand. 

“Do not talk about my mother right now,” he says, voice strained. 

“Mm,” you agree. Your hand cups around his ass before you allow your fingers to drift up the curve of his back. 

His cock twitches, and you again rub your thumb around it’s head before you go back to pumping along the shaft, twisting your hand the way that you know he likes. 

“Oh,” Porco whimpers. His cock pulses in your hand, and you stroke him hard and fast as you feel the rest of his body going rigid. “Oh fuck.” 

His back arches as he cries out, shuddering beneath you as his cock spills hot cum over your hand. You slow your hips’ pace and rub his back soothingly. You press your cheek against his back, the closest you can get to him. 

“I got you,” you say over and over again as he twitches below you. “I got you.” Another rope of cum drips down your hand. Where his arm overlaps yours, he holds you to his body tightly. You notice that he’s still shaking, so you continue to rub his back. 

After a few seconds of heavy breathing, you raise your hips and pull the dildo out slowly and carefully. 

You touch Porco’s back softly and hug his shoulders from behind. “You okay?” you ask softly. 

He nods, turning his head to face you. His face is flushed and sweaty, his normally impeccable hair skewed out of place in every direction. He looks at you with glazed-over eyes the size of the moon. You lean in to kiss him. 

Porco pushes himself up from the table to cup your face with his hands, kissing you back deeply, with passion. You smile as he kisses you. 

“What’s so funny?” 

You nuzzle the tips of your noses together. “I’m not laughing, I just love you.” 

He pulls you in for another kiss, and this time, you can feel him smiling too. 

The two of you stay like that for a moment - kissing, and of course, Porco’s hands (predictably) end up wandering underneath your shirt. As he explores the expanse of skin beneath, you become acutely aware of the way he’s pressing his leg between yours. Your breath hitches as he nudges the strap on harness up in a way that a strap brushes right up against your clit. His hand finds your breast, and circles your nipple with his thumb. 

“Again? Already?” you ask, bemused, but still very willing to be convinced. 

“It wouldn’t be fair,” he pouts, still thumbing over your nipple torturously, “You got to fuck me.” 

“Well, you’re the one who’s scared of getting caught!” you exclaim, and gasp at the sensation. 

He takes a moment to think, and his hand moves back down to your waist. “I would rather be caught fucking you than be caught with you fucking me.” 

You laugh while you shrug your shoulders, then loosen the straps from around your hips. The harness falls, but you catch it on one of your ankles and toss it on the table near your bag. The pink silicone dick points upwards, the shaft glistening with lube. 

“Okay,” you agree, slipping your underwear off and tossing it the same way next to the strap on. “You can fuck me.” 

Porco’s lips curl into a smirk you know all too well. You prop your elbows up on the lab table, sticking your ass out in the same position you fucked him in. 

“No, no. Turn around,” he tells you, “I want to see your face.” 

Your fingers lightly cover your mouth in embarrassment. “Awww, Porco. You love me…” you tease. 

He blushes and looks off to the side. “Shut up. Of course I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you remind him soothingly, stepping into his grasp. His arms snake around your waist, and you rise up on your toes to kiss him. It doesn’t take long before his hands wander to slip underneath your already hiked-up skirt. 

You flatten your hand against his chest, and as his fingers brush against the apex of your thighs, your fingers curl, and take a fistful of his shirt with them as you gasp. He kisses your cheek, and makes his way down the side of your neck. You squirm against him, slapping your hand against the table blindly until your fingers feel that familiar crinkle of a condom wrapper, and you pull away from him with a huff, and then yank his shirt. 

The two of you stumble backwards into the counters at the back of the classroom, with you guiding him. You spin him around so that his ass is backed up against the counter. 

“Get up,” you say, releasing your hold on him and gesturing. 

Porco laughs as he looks behind himself, then uses his arms to boost himself up to sit on the countertop. He slides a box of microscope slides closer to the scope they were meant for. 

“We would be so fucked if we broke those,” he says. 

You look at him hungrily as you tear into the serrated plastic edge of the condom wrapper. “You’re gonna get so fucked anyway.” 

He smiles before lunging to grab you beneath the arms, tugging you up on the counter with him.  You laugh and kick your legs as you scramble to balance yourself on the smooth linoleum.

“Technically, you already did fuck me.”

“Yeah, and now I’m gonna fuck you again.”

Both of you burst into laughter as you straddle his lap. You throw the condom wrapper off to the side, and focus on rolling the condom itself down Porco’s cock. Once your hand reaches its base, you lift your hips to position yourself above it, but Porco’s hand touches your wrist to stop you before you have the chance to lower yourself down. 

You look up at him expectantly, only to be pulled into another kiss. Immediately, you forget what you were doing as you feel yourself being wrapped up in his arms, his smell, his lips. His hands wander up your body, flattening against your stomach and cupping your breasts. You shudder as his thumb circles around your nipple again, and you instinctively grind your hips into his. When Porco finally breaks the kiss, he reaches between you to line himself up. 

Some kind of noise rushes out of your throat when he finally guides your hips down, and you finally get the gut-punch you had been aching for as you let your knees slide apart further to take him in. Thighs trembling, you brace yourself against his shoulders for support until you can’t go any further. He guides your hips back up again, and then again until you find the strength to move on your own. 

Once you’ve established a rhythm, Porco kisses you again, sloppily this time. You grind your hips down, and he groans into you. 

“Mmphh,” he mumbles into your lips, “you’re so fucking sexy.” 

As you bounce up and down, you swivel your hips in tight circles. Porco keeps one hand on your waist and lifts the other to grasp your breast, twisting the nipple just enough to make your eyes roll back into your head. 

“Tell me more about it,” you tell him, voice cracking. You double down on your efforts, bouncing faster and now squeezing down around his cock. 

Porco digs his fingers into your skin, and bucks his hips up to meet yours. “You feel so good. If I hadn’t — fuck,” he chokes as you bounce down particularly hard, “—if I hadn’t just come, you’d already have me in pieces.” 

Another bounce and purposeful grind of your hips and his head drops forward with a whimper. You smirk, though you know he can tell you’re coming unraveled, too. 

“I can get you there again.” 

Now that he’s worked up again, that beautiful flush has come back to stain his cheeks. You feel yourself losing purchase as you move against each other, but you don’t care. 

“You sure as shit will if you keep going like that.” Porco gasps, thrusting up into you hard, and you couldn’t control the noise that comes out of your throat if you tried. 

The both of you are breathing heavily, moving against each other with an increasing desperation as you both get closer to finishing. Porco’s hands are back at your waist, gripping so hard that you fear it may bruise, but this only encourages you. Your arms snake around his neck, and you cling to him as you press your forehead to his. Your fingers rake up into his hair, pulling gently and further knocking it out of place as you wrap your fingers in the long strands on top. 

You whimper as you feel the pressure inside of you building, every stroke inside you stirring up more and more inside of you. Your body moves on its own against him as you feel yourself reaching the edge. Everything from the sweat sticking against your skin, to the way he pulls your body into his like you’re all he needs, excites you. You love the way you’re completely wrapped up in him, with his touch against your skin and his smell in your nose and his cock bottomed out in you, pulls you over the edge. 

He kisses you as you come, muffling the moan that rips itself from your throat. He wraps his arms around you tight, though he doesn’t slow his pace. You do your best to keep your legs open for him as your orgasm hits you. You crumple into him, toes curling as he thrusts up hard into your oversensitive core. 

Within seconds, Porco buries his head into the crook of your neck, letting out a choked groan. His cock twitches inside of you as he comes for the second time that evening. You stroke his hair, gently kissing his temples as he finishes. His arms tighten around you, and you rest your head atop his. 

You stay like this for a minute or two, enjoying each other’s presence as you wait for your legs to stop shaking. Once strength returns to your body, you reluctantly move your hands onto his chest for support as you push yourself up, shifting your right leg to the other side of the counter, you feel his dick leaving the warmth of your body as both of you let out one final moan. 

As your feet hit the floor, you watch Porco quietly struggling to get the condom off and a gentle giggle escapes you. 

He meets your eyes and you see his blush darken. 

“The lube is making this harder than it should be.” He says quietly. You bite your lip, holding in a laugh. Hopping off of the counter, you walk towards your backpack and look around the inside for a few seconds before finding a small towel.

“Porco.” You call his name before throwing the cloth in his direction. A smile never leaves his lips as he grabs it midair.

“You really came prepared, didn’t you?” He says. You simply shrug your shoulders before flashing him a smile of your own.

“Of course, you never know when you’ll get to peg the boy you’re desperately in love with.” You say as you focus on fixing your own clothes.

He stays quiet for a few seconds before murmuring something underneath his breath. “Huh?” is all you say, trying to get Porco to repeat himself. 

“You’ve never said you were desperately in love with me before,” he says as he wraps the (finally) removed condom in a piece of paper he took from his own notebook, “or that you were in love with me.” 

You feel your cheeks burn as you look away, trying to avoid his gaze. “I thought it was obvious. We say ‘I love you’ all the time.” 

Once his pants are back on, he quietly walks towards you before reaching for your hand. His cold fingers are soft and gentle as he pulls you in for a hug.

“I don’t know, it feels different for some reason,” he says softly. 

You nuzzle your face against the side of his neck while wrapping your hands around his back. A sense of calm washes over you. 

“But I’m in love with you too,” he whispers, and twirls a strand of your hair around his finger. You lift your head to press your lips to his. He kisses you like you’re the only two people in the world, and his smile against your lips makes your heart skip a beat. 

After a few seconds, he pulls away and looks around the lab. On the counter, can see the perfect print of his ass cheeks in lube. He shakes his head and reaches for the towel yet again.

“We better clean this place up a bit,” he observes, and you nod in agreement. 

While Porco focuses on making sure there is no lube (or cum) left on any surfaces, you put the dildo back in its bag, along with your study materials. 

It takes a few minutes, but soon enough the room looks exactly like you found it. All you need to do is put Porco’s laptop away when suddenly you two are reminded of the reason you went into the lab in the first place.

“Shit, my report!” He says as he covers his mouth with his hand. You slap your face, and just one look at him tells you that your work isn’t over yet tonight. 

“Let’s go to the library so that we won’t get distracted again.” you tell him, “and we’re going in a communal area because if we get a study room we’re gonna end up fucking again.” You grab your backpack and walk towards the door, the blonde-haired boy following closely behind, carrying his laptop in one of his hands.

“Aww, would that be so bad?” Porco teases. 

“It would be bad for your chem grade.”

Neither of you say anything as you descend the final flight of stairs, but as you are about to leave the building, you feel him lacing his fingers with yours. A blush creeps over your cheeks as you walk right next to him, making sure that, not even for a second, your hands will drift apart. 

Porco has been here for you ever since you enrolled in college, rooting for you and taking care of you. In your head, you make a promise to yourself to never let him go. Not only because he’s the perfect man for you, but also because there’s nothing you love more than the expression on his face while you fuck him in the ass. 

One more look at him, and you turn ahead to face the lights of the street ahead of you, getting lost in your thoughts as you walk towards the library. 

You appreciate all the time you spend with him and deep down, you pray that this lab report will take even longer than you think it will, all so you can stay close to him for as long as you can.

[randomingoftherandomness]

Squeals and flails! Your writing is so good! Have been stopping myself from asking for continuations of pretty much every piece, especially the childhood, omega Lao Wen going into heat and possessive Ah Xu ones! Could you write a 5+1 fic with five times Ah Xu dotes on his Lao Wen, and one time Lao Wen is sweet to Ah Xu please? Was thinking that the first moment could be Wenzhou stargazing with Lao Wen falling asleep in Ah Xu’s arms and then Ah Xu hugging him closer? Thank you!

A/N: So this is going to be a 3 + 1 instead of a fiver because I’m sleepy and I want to finish this before bed haha... Sorry...

1. It’s a little too late in the season for them to be indulging in a spot of stargazing on the roof of the Manor, but Lao Wen had complained that they’d barely had any time alone (lies; they’ve stolen plenty of time alone because his ass sure as hell remembers those times alone) and had pulled out his trump card of telling Chengling to gather the kids for a spot of camping out in the plum forests as a form of cultivation exercise.

Zishu isn’t sure what sort of bribery Lao Wen had promised the brat, but he hopes Chengling bargained hard for it.

So, here they were. Up on the rooftop, wrapped up in their cloaks, passing a bottle of pear blossom wine between them as they watch the heavens twinkle down at them. In the distance, Zishu can clearly see the dull glow of the firelight and he feels assured that the kids haven’t gone too far.

“Ah Xu, pay attention to me,” Lao Wen harumphs, wriggling himself into his arms with a laugh. Zishu wraps his arms around him, burying his lips to the crown of his head and kissing him there with a smile. 

“I’m always paying attention to you,” He says.

It takes Lao Wen a beat to reply and when he does, it is a quiet but fond, “I know.”

Under the moonlight, they enjoy each other’s company; reminiscing of their first time stargazing together and all the hijinks that night had entailed. They talk about the progress of the disciples, about Chengling and his upcoming trip to Nanjiang to visit Luta, about the extension they will need to make for the new students that are coming next month.

It is about an hour into this when Zishu realises that Lao Wen has fallen silent. Worried that he may be struck by a bout of strange moods again, he looks down only to find that Lao Wen has fallen asleep in his arms. 

Smiling, he adjusts their cloaks so that they’re bundled up warm in the night chill. Curling a touch to Lao Wen’s cheek, Zishu settles in against him.

2. When Lao Wen sulks, he doesn’t do it in half measures.

Chengling winces at him in sympathy before backing away slowly like he is trying to escape a spooked tiger. In a way, Zishu thinks that this situation probably warrants a strategic retreat of some kind. 

Still. He glares at Chengling’s winning smile as he darts away to safety. That little traitor.

“So when were you planning on telling me that Lord Seventh,” Here Zishu notes that Lao Wen spits the syllables of Beiyuan’s title as if rolling something extremely distasteful in his mouth. “Was coming to visit?”

He mulls over what to say; well-versed as he is in taming Lao Wen when his darkest impulses flare to the fore, Zishu needs to weigh the next things that come out of his mouth before he digs this grave any deeper.

“Or were you not planning on telling me at all?”

The thread of hurt in those words strike true in twisting his heart. Looking up at where Lao Wen has his back to him makes it worse and he hurries across to him, pulling him into his arms and peppering kisses over his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, his brows, the plush heat of his lips, as he seats both of them on the divan. 

“I really was going to tell you, I promise,” Zishu says, brushing back his hair. Letting Lao Wen nuzzle against his throat, he sighs. “I know how you are when Beiyuan visits and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with him being here, but he’s one of the few people in the world who knows me as well as you do. He’s a friend and there are times when I just want to have my friend with me.”

“I don’t hate him...” Lao Wen mumbles softly.

Zishu has to laugh at the blatant lie. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can tell that Lao Wen gets an eye twitch or two when Beiyuan and he exchange some inside joke or two that excludes him. It’s such a little thing; petty by the standards of others and Zishu knows that he isn’t actually jealous or trying to be controlling, but is instead curious and yet dreading all the secrets that Beiyuan may let slip about Zishu’s life before him and all the persons that came before.

Now, that he is jealous about.

He doesn’t say anything to the contrary, merely pull Lao Wen tightly against him. “Alright, alright, if you say so,” He says agreeably, peppering kisses to his husband’s cheek.

3. Absence, as those who claim to be wise, would say, makes the heart grow fonder.

What Zishu finds is that it makes him a fucking misery to be around.

Chengling had long since given up in trying to coax him into some sort of reasonable mood a good week ago and had taken off in the night, leaving a note to say that he will rendezvous with him in another week. That disciple of his is getting better at picking up the subtle things that people are telling him without saying a single word.

He downs another cup of wine. 

It has been horrible to travel this far without Lao Wen. He’d had to contend with constantly looking over his shoulder for a smiling face and the quick-fire wit of his beloved. He has had to draw upon every self-control he had in him not to scream at the Sect Leader they were visiting to further their alliance.

Zishu fumes and drinks two more cups in quick succession.

If Chengling isn’t back in time and if he has to delay his trip back to the Manor just to wait for his silly disciple, he will absolutely without a shadow of a doubt, leave the idiot behind to fend for himself.

He’s done his best to equip the kid for surviving in the wild. No one can fault him for wanting to run back home with the stash of wines he had found on his travels. Zishu had bought them to share with his Lao Wen of course; there were some well-loved flavours and then some others that could be considered rare enough that a former Lord of the Ghost Valley would definitely find delight in the taste of.

Zishu finds himself calming somewhat at the thought of laying out his gifts for Lao Wen; of how those beautiful eyes would widen at the sight of all the wines, of how his lips would curl in a smile as he tastes each and every one of them, savouring them in the only way a connoisseur can; the sounds he would make in his enjoyment that could only come from a place so deep in pleasure--

No, no, no. Zishu is not going there tonight. He downs three cups and sighs. He’s already rubbed himself raw from missing Lao Wen this entire trip. If he does anymore, he’ll probably...

Yeah. Best to just save it til he gets home to his beloved.

+1

Lao Wen likes to think that he is an attentive husband. Certainly, Ah Xu has never wanted for anything when he was with him. Be it in bed or outside of it, he loves to cater to his beloved’s needs. 

As such, when it comes to his birthday, Lao Wen will die before he admits that he doesn’t know what to get him.

In the end, the answer comes simply. 

After the birthday dinner with the members of the Manor, he steals Ah Xu away for a bout of kisses that leave them both weak-kneed and aching jawed. “Get into bed. I’ll bring you your gift,” He says, hands on Ah Xu’s slender waist. Smiling, he swallows down his moan, licking the taste of wine and good food off Ah Xu’s tongue. “You’ll love it.”

He watches his husband stumble back, eyes a deep desire dark.

He cannot wait to see how his Ah Xu unravels when they put into play the little gift he had custom made for him; an exquisite jade that sits on a bed of silk in a lacquer box, hidden in the folds of his second-best robe. The same jade he may or may not have spent a small fortune in carving into the shape of his own cock. 

If he was being honest, this was an entirely selfish gift to be giving someone else on their birthday, but what does he care? This is something Ah Xu and himself can utilise over and over again, and this was something that could be the first of many to come. 

Absently and with glee, he thinks of the day he gets to help Ah Xu model for a jade phallus of his own. 

Oh, Lao Wen is going to have so much fun tonight.

[chelsfic]

Leftovers - Part 7 - Nandor the Relentless x Reader Fanfic

Previous parts: Masterlist

A/N: Well...this was unexpected. I wasn’t planning to go in this direction quite YET, but the characters had minds of their own...

Summary: While planning for the upcoming biannual orgy, the reader gets a lesson in seduction from Laszlo and Nandor finally surrenders to his desire.

Warnings: Smut, Female reader, Blood drinking, First time, Loss of Virginity

---

Nadja’s voice echoes through the house as she rushes into the library clutching a letter in her hands.

“Laszlo! Nandor! Colin Robinson! House meeting!”

Guillermo trails after her carrying the rest of the mail. Bills, a grocery circular, and a stack of computer parts catalogs addressed to Colin. He drops the pile on an end table and takes an unobtrusive position by the doorway as the other housemates start to file in with varying expressions of annoyance, curiosity and boredom.

You’re the last one to arrive, traipsing into the room looking vastly under dressed, as always, compared to the old world vampires in their elegant finery. Even Colin and Guillermo keep it business casual. You, on the other hand, are dressed in a pair of neon pink capri leggings and the USA Men’s Basketball jersey you stole from Nandor. The jersey falls down to your knees and the wide arm holes reveal the sports bra you’re wearing underneath. When Nandor first caught you wearing it a couple weeks ago he’d groused at you about disrespecting his belongings. But then he found himself strangely pleased with how his garment dwarfed your smaller frame. He rather liked the idea of his human wearing his shirt. So, he stopped complaining.

You give him a cheeky grin and flounce the bottom of the shirt around your thighs saucily as you flop down beside him. It’s been just about a month since the rave and since things between you and Nandor...advanced. You’ve started secretly thinking of him as your vampire boyfriend. You spend more nights in his coffin than you do in your own bed and you’ve both enjoyed the closeness that comes with sleeping in an enclosed box. 

You’ve continued to touch, kiss, and explore each other physically. Your progress has been slow, though you’ve gone further and experienced more with Nandor than you ever have with anyone else. But he is being downright mulish about taking the next logical step. On the one hand it’s comforting to have a more experienced partner who is so willing to go slowly. On the other hand...you’re horny. And you can’t tell if he’s being considerate and cautious or if he’s being selfish and wanting the best of both worlds: sexy times and virgin blood.

You sit so that your leg brushes against his and take his hand, twining your fingers together happily. You probably look like a preteen with her first boyfriend but you don’t really care. 

Colin Robinson grins and his eyes flash blue as he drones, “PDA! Get a room, you guys.”

Nandor hisses angrily and you roll your eyes. You spot Guillermo standing rigidly by the door and wave him over, patting the cushion on your other side.

“Memo! Come sit down for the meeting,” you invite.

Guillermo’s eyes flick to his master automatically and Nandor proclaims, “Vampires--non-familiars only, Guillermo!”

“What!?” you exclaim, slapping his arm. “Stop being mean to Guillermo!”

“Mean!?” Nandor scoffs. “I’m not mean to Guillermo! I saved him from being executed by the Vampiric Council last year, didn’t I?”

Guillermo nods, “Yes, master...although I did save you as well--”

“And I let you have the human giving thanks holiday off, didn’t I?” he interrupts.

“That was...three years ago…” Guillermo mumbles.

Nandor is gearing up for a full on hissy fit but Nadja interrupts, “Enough! Gizmo, go and sit with the human, you know Nandor is going to surrender to her eventually and I have news to announce!”

You smile in triumph and Guillermo reluctantly slinks forward to sit on your other side, eyeing his master over your head with a worried look.

“That’s strike one, Guillermo,” Nandor grumbles irritably, as Nadja takes over.

“I didn’t want to tell you until I had their answer,” Nadja smiles beatifically and folds her hands over her heart, “but I petitioned the vampire orgy committee and they’ve decided to give us a second chance to host the biannual orgy! I explained that my husband had been unnaturally deranged by some putrid blood--”

“Don’t you mean, betrayed by my wife?” Laszlo interjects.

“--and so we’re hosting it this weekend!” Nadja finishes, ignoring her idiot husband.

“Wonderful!” Nandor cries, dropping your hand and standing up to pace the room. “We’ll need to begin preparations at once. Guillermo, I’m giving Nadja permission to boss you around. It needs to be perfect this time!”

“Thank you, Nandor,” Nadja trills, obviously euphoric with plan-making already. “This time we’ll chain the virgins up, so there’s no chance for the cheeky buggers to spoil our fun…”

“Excellent idea, darling!” Laszlo praises, eager to show his support and avoid sleeping in one of the basement coffins tonight.

Nandor nods, “Yes, good suggestion, Nadja. Guillermo, you’ll bring the chains up from the basement...”

Nandor continues rattling off orders and you listen with increasing bafflement and alarm. He’s clearly giddy as he lists the “supplies” they’ll need.

“The sex net, obviously… the swing… assorted dildos… we should get a few Devil’s butt plugs, shouldn’t we? Those were popular at Marcus’s orgy last year…”

You turn, wide-eyed, to Guillermo and find him looking resigned and pulling a notebook from his back pocket to write this down.

Laszlo, Nadja and even Colin Robinson join in the discussion and they don’t seem likely to lose momentum any time soon. 

Finally, you clear your throat and speak up, “Um...I’m sorry. So...you--all of you--go to...sex parties? Like, where you...have sex all--all together?”

God, could you sound more virginy? You direct the question to everyone in the room but your eyes focus on Nandor. He looks away with an uncomfortable grimace.

Nadja tuts and puts a hand to her forehead as she croons, “Oh my sweet, baby virgin! I have forgotten how stupid and innocent you are. Do you not know what an orgy is? It is like a dark, bacchanalia of the flesh… a joining of bodies into one, throbbing mass of pleasure. And it is a great honor to host it! Vampires from all over New York will attend.”

“But…” what you really want to do is talk to Nandor in private. Your mind is racing with half-formed concerns, but mainly you’re hoping your new vampire boyfriend isn’t planning to have casual sex with a dozen strangers after spending the last month refusing to deflower you because he’d rather preserve the taste of your blood than deepen your...well, what you’d thought of as your relationship.

But you can’t give a voice to these worries even if the idea of Nandor with someone else stabs at your heart. You don’t want to be the needy virgin. The silly little girl who thinks a 758-year-old vampire is interested in “going steady.” Are you being unreasonable? Are you being unrealistic? Are you being insensitive to vampire culture? All at once you feel tears stinging your eyes and you blink rapidly to clear them before anyone notices. 

“I know what you’re worrying about, my warrior,” Nadja breaks through your thoughts. “But you’ll be perfectly safe during the orgy. Look!”

She poofs into a cloud of vapor, reappearing a few seconds later holding a pair of matching plain white t-shirts with the words “Do Not Eat” printed on them. 

“One for you and one for Gizmo!” she exclaims with a proud smile as if this solves everything.

---

“So…” you start and then trail off, not really knowing what you want to say.

You’re up in the attic with Nadja and Laszlo, helping them sort through boxes with labels like “Sex Dungeon,” “In Case of Orgy,” and “Emergency Dildos.”

Laszlo uncovers something wedged behind the StairMaster and exults, “My darling! Do you remember this…?”

It looks like a dildo circa the Renaissance period, smooth and hand-carved with a leather harness attached. Laszlo throws his head back and his hands twitch excitedly at his sides as Nadja stalks up to him with a seductive smirk.

“Of course, I do, my naughty boy. And if you are good and don’t ruin this orgy with your moods then maybe we’ll have ourselves a nice little time with it…” her voice goes high-pitched and squeaky as she grabs the phallus out of Laszlo’s hands and strokes it along his jaw, bringing it up to his lips and squealing as he opens his mouth to run his tongue lewdly over the shiny, smooth wood.

“O-okay, I’m just going to give you guys some privacy…” you stand and start to make your way over to the stairs.

Nadja drops the dildo and calls after you, “Wait, mortal! You had something you wanted to ask?”

You stop in your tracks, turning back to the couple and taking a breath to steady yourself. You have to talk to someone about this.

“Yeah, it’s...well, Nandor and I haven’t had sex yet--”

“We can tell that very well, my yummy friend,” Laszlo cuts in and Nadja slaps his arm.

“Go on, little horny infant,” Nadja says encouragingly.

“--but we’ve done other stuff,” you continue, “and I...I have feelings for him. But the thing is, I’m not as comfortable as you all seem to be about...sharing…”

“Ahh!” Laszlo murmurs with an arch look. “And you don’t want a load of randy vampires diddling your man.”

“Right,” you confirm, heat spreading over your face under their scrutiny. “But he seems so excited and I...I still don’t really know if he feels the same way that I do…”

“Hmm, yes this is very tricky,” Nadja muses. “Of course...there are some vampire couples who attend and only pay attention to each other…”

“Bloody boring, if you ask me…”

“Shut up, Laszlo!” Nadja hisses. “Can’t you see our human needs us?”

“Alright, alright!” he says irritably. He turns in a small circle, rubbing his chin abstractly before snapping his fingers and pointing to you in excitement, “I’ve got it! It sounds to me like what you really need is a little help in seducing our warrior friend. Once you’ve done the dirty deed you can enslave him to your feminine wiles just like my darling Nadja did to me.”

“Good idea, Laszlo! Then you can attend the orgy together and if anyone tries to tempt him away you will do the whip on them!” Nadja declares with delight.

You’re not sure if she’s misusing roller derby lingo or actually suggesting that you use a whip on your rivals. Probably both…

“But he won’t have sex with me because he’s obsessed with my stupid blood…” you whine, plopping down on one of the boxes with an exasperated sigh. 

“Trust me, human. With our help, Nandor won’t know how to resist!” Laszlo assures you with a self-satisfied grin. “Nadja, darling, get the projector!”

“Oh, no, Laszlo...she’s just a poor human girl. Don’t subject her to your boring pornos…”

---

By the time you come down from the attic you’re pretty sure the image of Laszlo’s orgasm face is permanently burned into your brain. And you’re not exactly sure how “Vampire Tricked in Steamroom” is supposed to help you with your conundrum, but Laszlo’s proud enthusiasm is adorable. Nadja’s words as you walk down the stairs are a little more helpful.

“Nandor is just thinking too much with his fangs and not enough with his penis. Use your natural talents--” she glances meaningfully at your chest, “--to make him realize his mistake.”

You’re not sure you have it in you to play the seductress like Nadja does. Still, your footsteps automatically take you in the direction of Nandor’s room. When you walk into the crypt you find him bent over a long roll of paper on the floor with a paintbrush in his hand and glitter stuck all over his head. He holds his work up to show you with a proud grin.

It’s a banner with large, bright, sparkly letters spelling out, “Welcome Orgy Guests!”

“What do you think?” he asks shyly. “Too much glitter?”

You blink and bite back a laugh at the sight of your fearsome boyfriend with his hair and beard covered in glitter. He’s smiling at you, revealing the wicked gleam of his fangs and you’re suddenly overcome with the desire to kiss him until you’re covered in glitter too. You stride forward, gingerly taking the banner from his hands and setting it back down on the floor.

“Just the right amount of glitter,” you assure him and then you hop up, wrapping your arms around his neck and trusting that he’ll catch you with his strong arms. His beard is scratchy against your face as you claim his mouth with yours, kissing and nipping his lips with a needy growl. Okay, wow--maybe Laszlo’s cheesy movie instruction has some merit?

“I knew it,” Nandor smirks. “You like the glitter, don’t you? Like Twilight!”

“Shut up, Nandor,” you laugh, stroking your fingers through his thick hair and angling his head so you can kiss along the edge of his jaw. You playfully drag your teeth against his neck and his whole body shudders in response. 

Curious, you do it again and this time he moans low in his throat and gasps out your name. Your lips curl into a mischievous smile and you bite down sharply, not hard enough to break the skin but enough to bruise if he didn’t have supernatural healing.

“Gah! Human…” Nandor pants, walking you over to the luxuriously upholstered couch set against the wall and dropping down with you in his lap. His voice breaks as he begs, “Harder.”

You draw back, locking your eyes with his for a moment, your breath coming quick as you feel the stir of his hardening length beneath you. His eyes are nearly black with desire and he digs his fingers into your hips in encouragement and repeats himself, “Harder, my mortal.”

You bend forward, brushing your lips gently along the crook of his neck like always does before he feeds from you. You bring your hands to his collar and loosen the ruff of his shirt, pulling it aside and cradling his head as you sink down to bite. You’re tentative at first, somehow afraid of hurting him, but he growls in impatience and swats your butt with his open hand to spur you along. You increase the pressure, feeling his skin give beneath the blunt edges of your teeth and the cool, coppery taste of his thick blood spreading over your lips and tongue. You swallow it, lapping at his neck eagerly as he squirms beneath you and mewls in pleasured surrender. 

When you finally pull away, your mouth and chin are painted an obscene red and Nandor goes wild at the sight. He grabs the back of your neck and pulls you into a rough kiss, arching his hips upward so he can grind against you.

“Now, I get to taste you,” He whispers against your lips, shifting out from beneath you and kneeling on the floor between your legs.

“It’s not--” you’re out of breath and your head is spinning. “It’s too soon, baby”

He purrs at your use of the pet name and slides his hands up the outsides of your thighs, catching the waistband of your leggings and dragging them down your legs along with your underwear.

“There’s more than one way to taste you, my human,” he explains, pressing his palms to the insides of your knees and pushing your legs further apart. He drags his beard along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, scenting you with a pleased sigh. He scoops you up in his hands, pulling you closer to the edge of the couch and finally lowering his face between your legs. His breath is cool against your heated flesh and then he’s dragging his tongue along your slit in one long stroke that ends on your needy, throbbing clitoris. 

“Oh my go--”

Nandor rears back, hissing, and you rush an apology, “Sorry, sorry, sorry! I forgot.”

“Be careful with that shit!” he grouses but then he’s dipping his head back down and attacking you with his mouth. 

He’s gentle and thorough and--you think--very good at this. A few times you feel the sharp edge of a fang just brush against your most sensitive skin and you start to flinch away but he shushes you and strokes his fingers along your thighs to settle your nerves. His lips and tongue move against your clitoris in perfect, rolling motions that have you melting under his attention. You let your hands fall down to rest in his glitter-specked hair and stroke your fingers along his temples as he laves and sucks. When the mounting tension in your core grows to be too much you roll your hips up, grinding yourself into his face and twisting your fingers in his hair as you cry out. 

Nandor climbs back onto the couch and settles beside you, watching with a pleased smile as you tremble and gasp through the aftershocks. He’s lazily palming himself through his trousers when you finally turn to him and press the full length of your body into his, capturing his lips for a kiss that tastes of mingled blood and arousal--both your essences combined. 

“I’m ready…” you whisper, sliding your hands beneath his loosened collar and along his shoulders. “If you can possibly stand my blood tasting all ordinary and non-virgin flavored…”

You emphasize the last statement by edging your leg between his and grinding your thigh against his fervent erection. Nandor groans loudly and it sounds like a surrender. 

“Yes…” he pants. “My human...yes. I’ll make you mine. But...but--” he growls in frustration “--wait a moment!”

He hops up, leaving you half naked and bemused on the couch as he darts around the room, locking the door, positioning a fur rug on the floor next to an ornate candelabra, and finally opening a drawer and removing a folded piece of paper.

He comes back to you, kneeling at your feet and handing you the sheet of paper. He watches with a gleam in his eyes as you open it.

Inside he’s written in glitter pen:

“Happy Deflowering!

Love,

Nandor the Relentless”

And there’s a drawing of you laying on a fur rug with an artfully modest sheet draped over your nude body and Nandor floating in the air above you, his cape flying out behind him and his fangs bared. Well...now you know he hasn’t been planning to keep you a virgin for all eternity...

You bark out a laugh and press the drawing to your heart as you look up at him and gush, “I love it, Nandor!”

His lips part in a light smile and he presses forward, taking your face in his hands and catching you with his intense eyes.

“I wanted it to be--” he frowns uncomfortably as he forms the word “--nice...for you, human. Perhaps we had a rocking start…”

“You mean with you kidnapping me, drinking my blood and treating me like a human snack pack?” you deadpan, but you dart in to peck his lips to show you’re only teasing.

“Yes, that,” he continues and his fingers are tracing light patterns through the hair at your temples. “But I...I do care about you, my mortal. For more than just your delicious blood…”

Finally hearing him say the words out loud starts your eyes misting and you set the drawing down on the couch beside you, reaching forward to take him in your arms and kiss his beautiful, stupid, warrior lips. 

Nandor is remarkably quick at removing his layers of clothing. By the time you’ve shed your stolen jersey and squirmed your way out of the sports bra, he’s completely naked. Vampire speed. He kneels on the fur rug before you, his pale skin reflecting the golden light of the candles, glowing with second-hand warmth. You forget to be bashful about your own nudity as you drink him in. Dark hair covers his chest and trails down his stomach into the dark nest around his proudly straining erection. 

His own dark eyes drop to linger on the lines of your body as he reaches out and draws you closer, laying you down on the plush rug and perching beside you. You draw your hands up under your chin automatically, but he takes them and draws your arms down to your sides, baring your body for his hungry gaze.

“You are more breathtaking than the Euphrates running red with the blood of my enemies,” he murmurs, brushing his fingertips over the peaks of your breasts and smiling as your nipples pebble under his touch. 

You smile and shake your head, gazing up at this gorgeous man and feeling, for once, entirely worthy and beautiful in someone else’s eyes. You joined roller derby hoping to gain some body-positivity, some confidence--which you have. But still, you’ve never before felt so attractive and powerful. Nandor bends down to kiss you, running one hand along the line of your neck and letting the other roam over your belly and down between your thighs. He strokes through your still wet slit, spreading your slick and rolling your clit between his fingers until you’re mewling into his lips. 

“You know…” Nandor murmurs, pushing your legs apart and shifting to seat himself between them, “there’s more than one reason they call me relentless, little human.”

The sound that falls from your lips is half-gasp and half-moan. He slides the head of his cock through your folds, coating himself in your arousal before finally--finally--pressing forward at your entrance. Even after a month of pining and yearning for this you still tense up at the final moment and Nandor kneads his hands into your hips with a soft coo, “Relax yourself, my mortal…”

He leans down to press a rough-stubbled kiss along the edge of your jaw as he finally slips inside of you and you feel, for the first time, the impossible and wonderful sensation of being filled by your lover as he gradually pushes deeper. For several seconds the pressure of him inside of you is all you can think about and it’s overwhelming. You bury your face into the crook of his neck, digging your teeth into the already healed skin.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, and there’s a distinctly vampiric edge of lustful curiosity that accompanies his concern. He’s rolling his hips against you in a slow, steady rhythm. 

“Mmhmm,” you murmur without removing your teeth from his neck. 

He slips a hand between your bodies and finds the hardened bud of your nipple with his fingers, rolling and stroking it as he continues rocking into you with deeper and deeper thrusts.

“Not for much longer,” he promises with a teasing pinch to your nipple.

His pace increases as the pain gradually ebbs into a delicious, burning ache that builds and builds. You throw back your head, keening each time he buries himself inside you. Nandor’s mouth falls open and he dips his head to run his lips over the throbbing pulse of your throat, feeling the rush of your hot blood beneath the surface and losing the steady control of his movements as he frantically ruts into you. 

“Mine, mine, mine,” he cries, wrenching his mouth away from your neck and instead slamming his lips to yours with an anguished moan as he goes rigid, pushing deeper inside of you as his release tears through him. He jerks his hips several more times, reaching between you to put his fingers on you and coax you towards your own peak as he softens inside of you.

He finally slips out of you, collapsing onto the rug at your side with a heavy groan. He hugs you to his chest, tucking your head beneath his chin and humming in pleasure. His skin is almost warm with your borrowed body heat, but where you are covered in a fine sheen of human sweat, he is as smooth and unaffected as ever.

Your muscles shake with involuntary tremors and he strokes his hands down your back comfortingly.

“Shut your eyes,” his voice is a low rumble that you can feel where your head rests against his chest. “Rest, my love.”

The word sends a warm rush around your heart and you smile, burying your face into his lovely chest hair. 

All your insecurities about the upcoming orgy are forgotten as your limbs grow heavy with exhaustion. You’re just starting to drift to sleep under the steady feel of his hands smoothing over your back when a sudden thought pops into your head.

“Nandor!” you poke your head up to meet his eyes. “Am I going to turn into a vampire?!”

He furrows his brow as he asks, “Why would you think that, human?”

“Well...I drank your blood…” you explain, relaxing back into his chest now that it seems you’re not on the brink of transitioning into an unholy creature of the night without warning.

Nandor laughs, “I would have to drink your blood first...almost all of it. And then feed you my blood. No, my human, you won’t become a vampire...not yet.”

You nod your head absently, letting your eyes drift shut without fully absorbing his last words.

---

A/N: ?????????

Tags:

@festering-queen​ @kandomeresbitch​ @strangestdiary​ @glitterportrait​ @scuzmunkie​ @redwoodshadows​

[asha-weak]

Switch Wangxian: NSFW

It is beautiful as fuck me supports so i wrote something 

NSFW NSFW

Wei Ying moaned, his hand speeding up on his dick, the other one thrusting the dildo in his ass faster and faster.

"Mmf! Fuck fuck aahhh...." He whined, his hips jerking and toes curling from the pleasure. He was so close so fucking close.

Then suddenly,

Knock

Wei Ying stopped. Resisting the urge to scream bloody murder. He knew that if he continued while whoever was outside of his room, he wouldn't be able to keep his voice suppressed.

"Wei Ying."

Came a soft voice. So familiar and so lovely Wei Ying had to stop himself from involuntarily stroking his dick. "Y-Yeah? Lan Zhan? D.. Do you need something?" He winced at how obvious his voice sounded.

"...." Was silence from the other side.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying tried again.

"....Wei Ying. Is Wei Ying okay?" Lan Zhan unexpectedly asked.

Wei Ying was confused. Did something happen? He didn't cause any trouble today... Yet. Nor did he do anything reckless that could hurt him. So why was Lan Zhan worried for his perfect health?

"...no..." Wei Ying drawled, still puzzled. But maybe there was something in his voice that didn't agree with the situation because the next second Lan Zhan entered his room, closing the door shut behind him.

"L-Lan Zhan??" Wei Ying squeaked, glad that the curtain was down, giving him what little privacy he could have since he had pushed away his blanket earlier he had nothing else to cover himself up with.

He quickly slid his robe on, somehow managing not to jostle the dildo still buried deep in his ass. Just the reminder of it made him want to whimper and rock against it but with Lan Zhan right in front of him he wanted nothing else but to pull it out.

But he couldn't. He knows he would come, and come with a deafning sound, and even if he was somehow able to pull it out without making any sound in his throat, the loud squelch of the oil dripping from his ass would be enough to alert Lan Zhan about what he was doing.

However.

All his worries wiped themselves away as Lan Zhan opened the privacy screen, peaking in, definitely breaking two of the 3000 rules of the Gusu Sect. 'Rude'

Wei Ying gasped, closing his legs to hide whatever he could as he stared up at the second Jade, also staring back at him with his mouth hanging wide open.

"Aha..ha..ha.. Lan Zhan don't you know a fly would enter your mouth if you kept it open for that long?" Wei Ying joked, trying fruitlessly to extract Lan Zhan's mind and eyes away from his disheveled state.

Lan Zhan was speechless, his gaze stuck on Wei Ying. Wei Ying's dilated eyes, Wei Ying's flushed face, flushed shoulders, flushed chest, Wei Ying's sweaty hands, Wei Ying's plump red bitten lips, Wei Ying's heaving abs, Wei Ying's half covered drooling dick, Wei Ying's long legs, Wei Ying, Wei Ying, Wei Ying, Wei Ying.

Lan Zhan's eyes almost rolled back in his head as he practically fell to his knees, staring intently at his dick, his hands itching to open those thighs and choke on that cock.

He wanted to feel the weight of it in his mouth. So Lan Zhan opened his mouth, letting drool collect and drip from the corners of his mouth, hot puffs of air burning against Wei Ying's sensitive thighs.

Wei Ying was flabbergasted, THE second jade was on his knees, face inches away from his dick with his mouth wide open, ready to be fucked.

"L-L-L-L-Lan Zhan!?!?" He yelped. Shifting away to gain some sanity, because Lan Zhan had clearly lost his. But Lan Zhan made a discontent noise before dragging him back to himself, and before the angle hadn't allowed Lan Zhan to see Wei Ying completely but now...

Now the angle was amazing and Lan Zhan could clearly see the dildo stuffed in Wei Ying's ass, his rim stretched red and wet around it. Lan Zhan couldn't stop himself even if he tried. He whined and licked a broad strip from Wei Ying's full hole all the way to the tip of his dick.

Wei Ying keened and smashed his fist against the wall, legs kicking and hips jerking uncontrollably. "Lan Zhan!" He wailed, fisting his hands in his hair when Lan Zhan swallowed in his cock all at once, his beautiful, small mouth so tight around Wei Ying, he almost cried.

Lan Zhan moved his head at a ridiculous pace, tongue continuously swirling around his tip and occasionally sucking and contracting his throat, making it tighter than it was. Wei Ying was still high and sensitive from his previous ruined orgasm so it didn't take long for him to cum.

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan... I'm- I'm- I gonn.... Gunna cummmm!" Wei Ying's words broke off in a wail and he grabbed Lan Zhan's head, stilling him and face fucking him. Lan Zhan and Wei Ying both twitched, trembling as Lan Zhan squeezed around his dick, swallowing every drop of cum his dick spurted.

"Lan Zhan- ! Nhaaa... Take it out take it out I can't-!" Wei Ying moaned, oversensitive and writhing as the dildo kept pressing against his prostate. Lan Zhan hurriedly but gently coaxed the double ended dildo from Wei Ying's still quivering hole clinging to it.

Lan Zhan mewled as he slid off of Wei Ying's cock, gaze still fixated on it as he licked his lips, shoving his fingers into his own mouth and thrusting in a vain attempt to mirror the same overwhelming feeling he had just experienced. His clean hand roamed down his own body, feeling up his nipples and caressing his stomach before palming his dick through multiple layers of cloth.

Wei Ying still twitching and heaving simply stared at the erotic scene in front of him, laying limp in his bed. His throat felt parched from all the moaning he had done and he had no desire to use it for a while. But he decided to throw that intention away when Lan Zhan started stripping.

"Wei Ying..." He groaned, his own voice fucked out and hoarse. Lan Zhan moaned when he finally had gotten rid of his endless robes, immediately wrapping a hand around his dick and stroking harshly.

Wei Ying gulped, "Lan Zhan. Come 'ere." Thankfully Lan Zhan obeyed at once and climbed onto Wei Ying's chest, his hand leaving his dick and pressing against the bed for balance. Wei Ying groaned and while whining, "Sit on my face, Lan Zhan, please."

Lan Zhan was surprised and was unable to keep his whine to himself. He did as told and hovered above Wei Ying's face. Wei Ying, grabbed his thighs and brought him down, closer to his mouth, Lan Zhan's precum smothering his forehead but Wei Ying didn't care. He licked at the small pink rim, looking as if it had never been touched before.

Lan Zhan whimpered at the first taste of his hole, clenching and unclenching and moaned loudly when Wei Ying slurped at his rim. Soon his hole was wet and ready, precum soaking Wei Ying's hair completely, so without wasting any further time Wei Ying plunged his tongue into the ready hole.

Lan Zhan's eyes shot open and he grabbed uselessly on the wall, nails leaving scratches in the wood, "Wei Ying Oh!" he cried. Wei Ying did it again and Lan Zhan started meeting his tongue's movements, grinding down on his face, "Mmmm... mmnn mm ahhh...." Lan Zhan kept whimpering.

Wei Ying closed his own thighs, feeling his dick harden slowly, he wanted to touch his cock but he also didn't want to stop touching Lan Zhan's skin, he whined and sped up his pace, already restless for his second release.

Then Wei Ying thrusted his tongue as deep as he could and sucked Lan Zhan's hole at the same time, and Lan Zhan was forcefully thrown off the edge. He cried out and slammed his thighs shut against Wei Ying's head, grinding like a madman onto Wei Ying's tongue.

Wei Ying moaned, if he were to accidentally die right here between Lan Zhan's strong thighs bracketing his face, he wouldn't mind at all, he would thank whatever entity that exists to give him this unrealistic view as his last memory.

He didn't realise he had floated away until he blinked open his eyes and Lan Zhan was lying next to him, "Wei Ying...?" Even if Lan Zhan spoke less words, Wei Ying understood what he meant, 'Are you okay? Do you want to rest? Do you want to continue? Do you want me to bring you anything?'

Wei Ying smiled tenderly and croaked out, "Water please." to which Lan Zhan immediately stood up fetched him some water, waiting for him to sit up and handed it to him. Wei Ying drank slowly, "Uh... Uhmm...how long was I gone?"

"3 minutes." Lan Zhan replied, and then he looked down. Wei Ying followed his gaze and blushed terribly, Wei Ying was hard. "U-um... T-this.." he started but shut up when Lan Zhan shifted closer to him, showing off his own stiff shaft. They were both the same size more or less, Wei Ying noted.

Wei Ying was left stupified when Lan Zhan started rocking against him, rubbing both their cocks together and it was no where near satisfying. But still, it made Wei Ying whimper and clutch at the sheets, "L-Lan Zhan..." He mewed.

"I washed it." Lan Zhan's monotonous voice pulled Wei Ying out of his head, "W-what..?" He questioned, need growing in his stomach as Lan Zhan simuntaneously kept grinding them together. "The phallus." He answered.

"Oh.. thanks.. thanks Lan Zhan you didn't have to do that." Wei Ying was perplexed as to why Lan Zhan was bringing up his double ended dildo, was he going to punish him for not abiding by the rules? He got worried when Lan Zhan shook his head, light breaths coming out of him.

"I... I want to use it. Wei Ying." Lan Zhan spoke softly, Wei Ying could see the tips of his ears were deep red and cooed, but he stopped himself when the words settled properly into his muddled brain.

Lan Zhan wants to use MY dildo????

The image of Lan Zhan pushing the dildo in and out of himself while lying on his chest didn't take long to form in his hormonal brain. Wei Ying whined in agreement, "Y-Yeah Lan Zhan... You can you can use it, as much as you want....." It was harder to think anything other than fucking and being fucked by the drop dead gorgeous boy next to him.

Wei Ying sat up properly and sat on top of Lan Zhan's thighs, "I'll prepare you alright..? I'll make it good..." He whispered before leaning down to kiss Lan Zhan gently, which turned into a deep sloppy kiss and they licked and slurped at each other's tongues, pressing their open mouths together and nog wanting to let go, moaning and whining into each other's lips.

Wei Ying had unknowingly started rutting against Lan Zhan and they both broke off at the same time to throw their heads back as their cocks pressed together at an especially pleasuring angle. "Wei Ying hurry-!" Lan Zhan gasped, hands grasping Wei Ying's hips to move him.

Wei Ying nodded, "Yesyesyesyesyes-" murmuring whilst he got off Lan Zhan and went to bring his lubricant since the one he used just before had finished. When he returned Lan Zhan was lying face down ass up ready and wanting.

Wei Ying moaned at the display and climbed into his bed, settling directly behind Lan Zhan, he spread Lan Zhan's asscheeks to reveal the twitching pink hole still glisning from the remanents of his saliva and spit directly on it. Lan Zhan gave an appreciative groan and moved his ass further up telling Wei Ying to just Hurry Up.

Wei Ying drenched his fingers in the lube and warmed it up before pressing those fingers against his rim. He pressed a bit harder with the index finger till it popped in making Lan Zhan moan. Wei Ying bit his lip at the sound and at the sensations on his finger as he slid it all the way in.

Lan Zhan shuddered and sighed, wordlessly letting Wei Ying prepare him. Wei Ying thrusted his finger a few times more till he deemed his hole loose enough to fit another one. "Lan Zhan I'm gonna put another. Alright?" He cautioned and waited for Lan Zhan's signature Mn. Before continuing. He then inserted another and pushed them all the way up to the knuckles, moving them with an almost embarrassing squelching sound.

He scissored his fingers, sometimes hooking a thumb to help in stretching as well. All the while relishing in the small choked noises Lan Zhan would let out. When Lan Zhan was looser he stopped thrusting for the sake of preparing him and started thrusting to give him the euphoric pleasure Wei Ying loved.

Wei Ying pressed his fingers around, searching for his prostate and smiled when Lan Zhan jerked suddenly, moaning, he could see his fists clenched in the pillows trying to understand what had just happened to his body. But Wei Ying without any mercy started finger fucking him, making Lan Zhan whine and moan.

He added a third finger and then a fourth watching at how far his hole stretched and felt his own hole ask for attention. 'Later' he thought to himself and continued fucking Lan Zhan, the one under him crying out of sheer pleasure. Be continued till he grabbed his wrist and pulled his fingers out of himself.

Lan Zhan dropped on the bed, panting and trembling, then flipped himself into his back. He took some time to sit up, "Wei Ying lie on your back." He demanded which Wei Ying complied with. He spread his legs as an invitation a let Lan Zhan sit between them, heart beating faster when he sees Lan Zhan slicking up his fingers and shoving them into his hole.

Wei Ying's mouth opened in a soundless scream as his back arched. He scratched Lan Zhan's arms and raised his hips, grinding sensually back onto Lan Zhan's fingers, "Oof... Ohh... I'm I'm already ready Lan Zhan you don't need to-" he clenched his jaw as Lan Zhan brushed against his prostate, goosebumps rising all over his body, "That's- that's good that's enough L-Lan Zhan."

Reluctantly Lan Zhan removed his fingers and sat down, having support from the headboard, Wei Ying copied him and sat in a similar position, etching closer till their thighs touched and crossed their legs over each other's. Lan Zhan picked up the double ended dildo and lathered it with the lube, rubbing it while staring straight at Wei Ying.

Wei Ying chuckled and bit his lip meeting his intense gaze with one of his own. When Lan Zhan broke their eye contact to bring the dildo to their holes Wei Ying followed his hand, shifting to give him space. "It will be better if you fuck yourself first, get used to it then I'll resume." Wei Ying suggested and grinned when Lan Zhan nodded, the blush reaching his torso.

Lan Zhan pressed one end of the dildo to his own hole and pushed softly till his rim gave away and sucked the shaft will surprising ease. He choked on a cry, whimpered and pushed it deeper. "W-Wei Ying ahh...." He rubbed against it, griting his teeth when it struck his sweet spot. He let himself get used to it then nodded, his Lan forehead band loosening a bit.

Wei Ying gulped and came closer to him, till the dildo was kissing his rim, he whimpered and pressed closer till it slid in hole like it always had, like it belonged there, and yeah it did. This dildo belonged only in Wei Ying and Lan Zhan. Wei Ying moaned, eyes rolling back at the heavenly sensation filling him up.

A few minutes passed and Wei Ying rocked against it, whining, Lan Zhan, assured that they both were ready also responded with his own thrust, his mouth hanging open as drool dripped out. "Wei Ying!" Lan Zhan gasped as a particular shove made him see stars and it was as if a dam had broken that both cultivators started shoving against each other, feeding the dildo into one another's hole.

Wei Ying's eyes shut tight as he melted in the harsh thrusts and moved his hips alongside Lan Zhan's. He felt the other's legs shake and opened his eyes, the beautiful man in front of him crying and sobbing with pleasure. He could dazedly hear his own moans and whines but then he noticed Lan Zhan's loose forehead band and gasped.

"Lan Zhan..." Wei Ying stared at the forehead band about to collapse, "Lan Zhan your forehead band..." He reached out but before he could touch it, Lan Zhan snatched it off and threw it somewhere on the bed. Wei Ying cried out when Lan Zhan slammed against him, twin sobs resonating in the room.

"Fuck fuck fuck Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying screamed, "Mmmmmm!!!" Lan Zhan bit back his own, his hands playing with his nipples. Wei Ying took a hold of Lan Zhan's right hand and deepthroated his fingers exactly like how Lan Zhan had deep throated him earlier. As much as he liked to be loud, he loved his mouth full and sated, and he knew so did Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying guided Lan Zhan's mouth to his own fingers and sighed at the wet feeling. Lan Zhan released a wail when a particular thrust rammed the dildo to his sweet spot again and pinched his own nipple. Wei Ying could feel his limbs tangled with him shaking terribly and pounded both their holes at the same time.

Lan Zhan suddenly bit on fingers hard which made Wei Ying moan out in bewildered pleasure and he stared at him, stared at Lan Zhan as he snapped his head back, bucked his hips once, twice and then came, whimpering the whole time. Wei Ying had only a few seconds of time to look down at Lan Zhan's dick spurting out white strands before Lan Zhan started stroking his dick at a punishing pace.

Wei Ying spit out Lan Zhan's fingers and fell deeper in the stack of pillows and blankets behind him which changed the angle and made the dildo stick relentlessly to his sweet spot, Lan Zhan never stopped jerking him off and Wei Ying could distantly hear Lan Zhan moaning with overstimulation, 'So good taking care of me while he's oversensitive.'  Was his last thought before he wailed as his earth shattering orgasm slammed into him.

Lan Zhan whined as Wei Ying's cum hit his torso and mixed with his own. The oversensitivity was taking over so Lan Zhan stopped touching Wei Ying's dick and slid out the dildo from his hole, he shoved it a few times in his own, all the while licking off Wei Ying's cum before sliding it out of himself and falling flat onto his back and fainting.

When Lan Zhan's eyes opened, Wei Ying was lying next to him and he noticed how both of them were still dirty so Wei Ying probably woke up only to plop next to him. Lan Zhan smiled and kissed Wei Ying gently on the lips before falling right back to sleep.

Consequences will be handled later.

[sweetness47]

BEST SEX EVER!

Pairing Steve Rogers x Wife!Reader

This is for @sherrybaby14​ and her Cutthroat challenge #2

FINAL WORD COUNT: 1179

Prompts used: Sabotage one: Steve has to grow some tentacles. Sabotage two: can’t start any sentence with the word “the”.

WARNINGS: MATURE 18+ ONLY!!!! Smut, tentacle porn, anal and vaginal penetration, face fucking, language etc…

“Where is he?”

“In his room. He hasn’t come out since we returned. He seemed fine…but…Honestly, we don’t know what’s going on YN. He refuses to talk to us or to let anyone in the room.”

YN paused as she took in the statement. Steve had been attacked by some giant octopus thing, and it managed to bite him. YN had been off on another assignment, and so was not witness to the whole mess.

It was Nat who’d called her, telling her he’d been hurt, but was even more concerned now upon hearing he won’t talk to anyone or let anyone into the room.

Well, she wasn’t just anyone. So he’d have to let her in.

She approached the room with caution, listening to his voice, panicking, yelling words she didn’t understand.

YN walked up to the door and knocked. “Steve? It’s me. Let me in baby.”

“YN? I…I can’t open the door. You could get hurt, or infected, or worse…”

She frowned. “Seriously? You remember what I am, right? Let me in. I want to help you.”

Steve argued, “No! I’m deformed, ugly! I don’t want you to end up the same way! You’re either going to scream and run away or laugh and divorce me!”

YN’s jaw dropped. “No way Steve. We are in this together, for better or for worse! Now let me the fuck in before I break the goddamn door!”

He knew she would too. She had the strength in her, not to mention one hell of a temper if he ignored her, which would never happen. “Ok. I’ll open the door, but close your eyes till I tell you. Ok?”

“Fine. I’ll close my eyes.” She did. “Ready.”

She heard the door open, felt his large hand take hers and lead her in, then she heard the door close and lock behind her. After a few seconds of shuffling around, he called to her. “You can look now.”

YN opened her eyes, and scanned the room, but didn’t see her husband. “Steve?”

“Behind the closet door. I think you should sit down.”

She did. “What the hell is going on? Come out here baby. You’re scaring me!”

He peeked around the corner, “Please don’t scream or run.”

YN looked him straight in the eye. “Never.”

What she saw next shocked her to say the least. Steve was still Steve, still the man she fell in love with, married, vowed to spend the rest of her life with. Except for one thing, well, four.

There were octopus arms flailing from his sides, two on each.

“My god.” She stood and walked over to him. “You mutated? Fuck!” She reached out her hand to touch the scaly tentacles.

Steve stared at his wife, watching her face for fear or horror, but found only concern and love. His heart relaxed. She really did love him, no matter what. “Can you fix this?”

She studied the skin around the growths and the arms themselves. “I think so, but first? I think this could be fun.”

“Fun? How in the hell do you consider this to be fun?”

YN smirked, and Steve recognized the lust and adventure in her gaze. “Well, the tentacles are part of you, grew from you. Yeah they started from the bite, but it is still you. Fuck me with them.”

It was Steve’s turn to be stunned. “What?”

“You heard me. Use these extra appendages to fuck me senseless before I remove them.”

“You’re serious.”

YN nodded. To prove it, she took his face in her hands, bringing his lips to meet hers. Steve melted into the kiss, passion and desire melting the anxiety and horrors of the day. He picked her up easily, carrying her to the bed they shared together.

Steve moaned, allowing his hands to roam her body while his new appendages began removing her clothing and his. New sensations from his extra arms rushed through her, and was unlike anything YN had ever felt in her life.

His face nestled in between her legs, and his tongue grazed her wet slit. YN bucked as he found her sweet center, thrusting his tongue in and out of her. He brought one of his new additions over, sliding it into her sopping entrance, and she cried out as he curled it. Her orgasm burst through her, squirting Steve’s face and his new arm with her juices.

Steve removed the tentacle and replaced it with his hard cock. As he did, he moved one new arm to her ass, stroking the tiny opening while he fucked her. YN’s breath became shallow, panting as another orgasm began building inside her. A smooth velvety tip began pushing into her tight sphincter, filling her even more than she was already. Her second climax was instantaneous, his name on her lips as shock after shock tore through her entire being.

“Fuck!” she exclaimed as he now pounded into her, in both holes, at the same time. But he wasn’t done, as he removed his hard shaft from her pussy, a small whine escaping her lips in protest. But YN’s disappointment was short-lived. He slid not one, but two of his new arms into her hole, then added another to her anus.

His phallus, hard and erect, brushed against her lips, and she opened her mouth eagerly. He pushed inside, and YN flattened her tongue to give him better access. She almost gagged, but managed to contain the discomfort, distracted by other things.

In unison, the two tentacles in her pussy, and the two in her anus, in time with the cock that was stuffed in her mouth, Steve moved, the timing perfect as he abused her body. And she was fully enjoying the attention, her juices gathering at her center as her being exploded yet again, the earth-shattering waves tearing through with a ferocity she had only dreamt of.

Both husband and wife came together, their bodies shuddering as Steve’s load shot down YN’s throat, and the four tentacles that were fucking her cunt and ass also exploded, with Steve’s cum, filling her completely.

As Steve rolled off her and removed all the extras, YN turned and kissed him deeply as she activated her healing, removing the extra appendages from her husband’s body. They held each other close as the continued to come down from their hormonal high.

“You were right YN. That was fucking incredible.” Steve sighed as he kissed her forehead.

“Mmmmhmmm, we definitely gotta do that more often.”

“Perhaps, but maybe without using my body as the conduit?”

Fits of giggles filled the room as the couple drifted off to sleep, happy and sated from what they would later refer to as ‘the best damn sex ever’.

@legion1993

[jemariel]

yoooo when’s the next and he’s oh so good chapter going up i’m DYING

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii nonny

Really glad you’re enjoying. I’m almost back to a place where I can work on it, but I needed to be working on something more lighthearted in light of **waves hand at everything** lately. It WILL be finished. The next chapter is basically written, it just needs some edits in order to be its best self.

As a placating measure, here’s a sneak peak at some humor-smut I’ve been distracting myself with---

(nsfw text under the cut) >:)

[And He’s Oh So Good]

“Orgasm is incredible.”

In hindsight, perhaps he should have waited until Dean had set down his coffee. 

“Jesus, Cas, you ever hear of ‘good morning’?” Dean grouses, reaching for a dishtowel and mopping up coffee from his robe, his hand, and the counter in front of him. 

“Sorry,” Cas says, moving to sit at the table. “Is it hot?” 

Dean's head whips up to stare at him, wide-eyed. “What?”

“The coffee.” 

“Oh. Uh. No, it’s— I mean. Not anymore.” 

“Good.” Cas would hate to cause Dean injury. He watches him sopping the coffee from the front of his white T-shirt. The shirt has turned slightly translucent with the liquid, which has Castiel feeling… hungry. That’s not the right word, but it’s the closest one he has.

Dean catches his stare, but very quickly looks away. “So. You, uh, found somethin’ that worked for you?” 

Cas shakes himself. “What? Oh, the pornography.”

Dean’s eyes roll skyward and he pours more coffee for himself and a second one for Castiel. “Yes, Einstein, the porn. You get your junk working?”

“More or less. I found most of the recommended videos fairly dull and tasteless.”

“Cas, it’s porn.”

Castiel doesn’t dignify that with a response, continuing, “So many of them broke down an act of physical pleasure and connection to mere… body parts. A phallus rapidly entering and exiting a vagina is not, on its own, a terribly appealing sight.”

Dean’s coffee mug hits the table with a thunk. “Cas, you gotta—I dunno, get your brain involved.”

“My brain?”

“Yeah, you know. Imagine—” Dean licks his lips, pink and damp and mesmerizing as he continues. “Imagine that’s you, you know? Think about how good it would feel.”

“If that were my penis?” Castiel assumes.

Dean shifts in the kitchen chair, the hand not holding the coffee mug clenching into a fist. “Exactly.”

For a moment, Castiel lets himself think about that. “I have no basis for comparison,” he says.

“That never stopped a single thirteen-year-old boy,” Dean says with a smirk into his coffee cup.

Cas regards him at an angle. “But I’m not a thirteen year old boy,” he says. “I’m several billion years old in the body of a man in his late thirties.”

Dean shrugs. “Doesn’t make much difference, does it?”

Cas doesn’t know the answer to that, so he redirects. “Regardless, I did find some useful videos.”

“Oh, yeah?”

Cas nods. “Male masturbation videos proved to be the most instructional.”

Dean barely avoids spewing more coffee, this time right in Cas’s face. “Jesus, Cas.”

“Have I said something wrong?” 

“No, just—look, porn’s not supposed to be instructional, it's supposed to be—inspiring."

"How do you mean?" 

"I mean. Y'know. What gets you hot? Revs your engine. Floats your boat and all that jazz." 

"Humanity's plethora of euphemisms for genital functions will never cease to confound me." 

Dean’s eyes roll again. "Like that waitress. You seemed really into her."

"She was very aesthetically pleasing, yes."

"Okay, so, look for—" 

"But I was equally stimulated by the men I discovered last night." They hadn’t merely been instructional, although he had had some success mimicking their techniques. He had been able to lose himself in—he supposed it was a fantasy, this getting your brain involved concept that Dean had mentioned—the idea of watching Dean performing similar acts on himself. Or on Castiel. The thought of Dean’s hands on his flesh in place of his own had, in fact, done more to push him over the edge of completion than any of the videos he’d found.

He gets the sense, however, that it would be imprudent to mention that at this juncture.

~~~ coming soon to an Ao3 near you! (Mine. It’s coming to my Ao3)

[phcking-detective]

♖ reed900 please?

♖ : Having their hair washed by your muse; TW: strongly implied Nines was physically and sexually abused at Cyberlife, nothing graphic though

***

Nines does not like to be touched.

It reminds him of memories he has [deleted], files erased over and over and over again, that somehow always come back. Connor says it is a sign he has a “subconscious” and that he should deviate to fully confront and process these memories so that he can heal from his trauma.

Gavin says he can do whatever the fuck he wants and if staying a machine keeps him from having a mental breakdown with a 40% chance of deactivation from stress, then that’s his decision and Connor can “suck it.”

Nines stays over at Gavin’s apartment far more often than he visits Connor and Lieutenant Anderson’s house. He is inside Gavin’s apartment right now, sitting in his bathtub.

“Gavin,” he calls. “I require your assistance, Detective.”

He can clearly hear the human’s grumbles about how he just sat down as he moves from the living, through his bedroom, to the bathroom door, complaining the whole way. Gavin complains about nearly everything, most especially their coworkers. A mutual agreement on how useless and incompetent everyone else in the department is how they first [bonded].

“What do you need, princess?” Gavin asks from behind the door.

Gavin calls him [princess] and [babe] and [baby]. The first one when he feels Nines is being “snobby” or “spoiled” and the last one only in private.

“I require your assistance washing my hair.”

“I--wha--” Gavin splutters. “You know how to wash your own damn hair! You take like, two showers every day. Driving up my goddamn water bill.”

“This is a different context,” Nines says.

“Because you’re sitting in a bathtub?”

“It is different.”

“... fine.”

Gavin always gives him what he asks for.

Nines waits in the bathtub as the human slowly opens the bathroom door, peeking his head inside with his eyes paradoxically closed.

“Are you decent?” he asks.

“I certainly am not bathing with my clothes on,” Nines replies.

“I--well--” Gavin flushes and stumbles over his words again. “Are there like, bubbles or something?”

Nines frowns. “The water is not boiling.”

Gavin groans and enters all the way inside the bathroom. He opens his eyes, but won’t look directly at Nines. The human concept of [nudity] is very strange. Nines would not allow any other human to see him outside of his suit because 1) the jacket is bulletproof and removing it removes a layer of his defenses, 2) [nudity] for him is only necessary for cleaning and maintenance and no other human has the authorization to participate in either, and 3) if they cannot stop touching him after being repeatedly told not to while he at least has the barrier of clothing available, he most certainly will not trust them around his bare chassis.

Gavin is not a [threat], he has been genuinely helpful cleaning and repairing Nines as his partner, and he does not touch Nines without his permission.

“OK, what ...” Gavin half-gestures at him in the tub. “What do you need help with?”

“Washing my hair.”

“What, do you want me to do it for you?”

Nines does not answer. As a machine, he cannot [want] things. At least, he cannot admit to wanting things. If the red walls completely restricted all feelings and internal thoughts, no android would ever have the motivation to deviate in the first place. Since they only restrict outright actions ...

Nines does not verbally answer. He waits. Gavin always gives him what he asks for, even when he cannot say the words.

Even when he does not understand what he wants himself.

“You are so--can’t phcking believe, spoiled phcking, big ass android baby.”

Gavin complains the entire time he grabs the shampoo, kneels down next to the tub, and motions for Nines to turn his head. Nines does so graciously.

“You’re like a big spoiled house cat, you know that, right?” Gavin asks as he rubs shampoo into his hair. “One of those fluffy white ones that refuses to get her pretty little paws dirty.”

Nines closes his eyes and purrs. He does not like to be touched, but this is not technically touching. It is not the same. Gavin’s hands do not run over his body, do not peel back his chassis, do not touch between his legs. His hair is just several hundred thousand long protein strands, too thin even to have sensors.

Perhaps his scalp is another matter, but he does not have [bad memories] of that being touched. Or washed. When Cyberlife cleaned him, they dumped industrial duty chemical agents on him and rinsed it off with a pressurized water hose.

Gavin scritches behind his ears.

“You like being a big pretty bitch, huh?” he asks in a low voice. “Yeah, you’re my spoiled baby.”

Nines purrs louder and pushes his head into the hands massaging his scalp.

“All right, I’m going to wash this out now.”

He sighs, but holds still while Gavin fills a plastic cup sitting on the ledge with water. His partner places his hand on his forehead to prevent soapy water from running down into his eyes as he rinses out his hair.

“Do you need anything else, baby?”

Nines turns toward Gavin’s voice the way sunflowers turn toward the sun. Usually, he hates it when humans speak. They are always doing that, literally all the time, and the vast majority of it is completely irrelevant. Humans should be restricted to a five hundred word quota, per day.

Except for his. 

Gavin has a very nice voice, when he isn’t yelling. And sometimes he uses the yelling to tell Connor to “fuck off” and stop bothering Nines about being “brothers” or to make other humans go away and stop trying to [befriend] [talk to] [touch] [handshake] [touch] [small talk] [hug] [smile] [BOTHER] him.

Nines looks up at him. “Join me.”

Gavin’s eyes widen and blood rushes to his face. “I--shit, babe. Nines, you ... you don’t know what you’re--”

“I am not one of those suspiciously infantile androids on TV,” Nines interrupts. “I understand that you are sexually attracted to me; obviously your phallus is erect.”

Gavin predictably ignores his argument. “So you’re saying it’s big enough to be obvious, huh?”

“I am stating I have heat vision, and I can track your blood flow,” Nines deadpans.

Gavin flushes even more and shifts on his knees.

“I also know you like it when I’m mean to you.”

“Maybe.” Gavin glares at him. “Fuck off, everyone’s got kinks. But you’re barely six months old and you can’t admit to wanting or feeling anything without breaking your mind.”

Unfortunately correct.

“I am not offering to have sex with you,” Nines admits. “So if, given that caveat, expecting you to engage in a naked activity with me is an unreasonable request, then I will not push the matter.”

Gavin sighs. “Look, I know humans are shit and all, and I’m really not a good person, but nothing is sexual without consent.”

“I am fairly certain--”

“You know what I mean,” Gavin snaps. “Like, god, if you really want me to get in the damn tub with you, just because we’re naked and I’m horny, that doesn’t mean I’m going to start humping your leg or something. My dick is my problem, not yours.”

Nines tilts his head to the side. “Then we are in agreement?”

Gavin makes his angry face that he makes when Nines wins an argument but he doesn’t want to admit it.

“Why do you want--why do you require my assistance inside the tub?” he asks.

“Cleaning is allowed as part of general maintenance,” Nines answers. “It is not a restricted activity.”

[holding hands] is a restricted activity. [kissing] is a restricted activity, although the red walls do not prevent Nines from staying still while Gavin kisses him. But there are so many other restrictions. Words of affection, “cuddling,” sexual intercourse--not that he still has the attachments for that anyway.

But cleaning is allowed. He can wash Gavin’s hair too. He can give him the same--the same--[thing].

He does not know how to convey that information to his partner though. He cannot even put it into coherent words inside of his own mind, and they cannot interface.

Yet somehow Gavin always understands him anyway.

“Well, since it’s not restricted,” Gavin says.

He takes his shirt off, then pauses. When Nines does not object, he strips off his undershirt and jeans as well. He lingers at the hem of his boxers, and Nines can’t stop his LED from flashing red.

“OK, scoot over,” Gavin says.

Nines “scoots” as much as he is able with his larger frame. Water still sloshes over the side of the tub when Gavin climbs in, boxers still on. He sits down with his knees to his chest, hunched over away from Nines.

Unacceptable.

Nines wraps an arm around him and pulls him backward so that they are back-to-chest. He does not like being touched, but right now he is doing the touching.

Simply to assess what parts of his human’s body need to be cleaned, of course.

He should be thorough.

He tugs Gavin between his hips, legs bracketing the human’s own so that their thighs press together. Gavin obligingly leans back against his chest, nuzzling his face into Nines’s neck. Nines pets his hand up and down his chest as part of his thorough examination. For cleaning.

“Hey baby,” Gavin murmurs in his ear.

Nines shudders and lets out an involuntary purr. It is really more similar to that of an overheating laptop, but Gavin likes it and calls it “purring.”

“Mine,” he says, holding his partner tightly.

Gavin kisses his neck, his jaw, the edge of his cheek. “Yeah.”

Perhaps Nines really does not know what he is doing, what he is asking of his human. But Gavin has admitted he doesn’t know either.

Perhaps they will figure it out together.

***

If you liked this, I have a whole fic series for them on AO3 and a patreon to support my writing which gets you bonus reed900 content like this!

[stachmousworld]

Lie to me in my eyes

 Pairing: Stuckony and an original black (man) character 

Summary:  (No AU) Steve just got back from his first day at his Arts college. His boyfriends, Bucky and Tony, have both always been supportive. Was that the truth or an act?

Words: 2485 

“Do you think he was serious?”

That was Bucky’s voice. Steve approached silently enough. He was holding his first real canvas and tools and couldn’t wait to show them what he bought for himself. His smile was hurting so much. He hadn’t been able to wipe it off since he went to his first classes and after he bought his tools on his way back.

“Arts school?” Tony’s voice rose, dubious. “Yeah, didn’t think he’d really do it.”

Steve stopped walking. He unconsciously held his stuff closer to him. They were talking about him?

“He always was interested in arts, but it was in the 30’s. We didn’t have enough money and his little sexy drawings (Tony snickered) helped us when things were too tight. But now…” Bucky was moving around the living room. Steve who had been frozen, rush to hide behind a wall.

Normally Bucky would have been able to hear him. He could pick up any kind of noise which made him the first one to greet Tony or Steve. Tony had called him “puppy” because he’d jump onto them, nagging them about their day and wouldn’t let go until he was sure everything went well.

His fear that something could happen sometimes overrode all of his conditioning and for a few minutes the young Bucky was back.

The canvas in Steve’s arm cracked. He dropped his head hiding his face behind it. Tears threatened to spill, and at this point he’d be able to hide. He tried to sniff and wipe his eyes.

“And you were the one to offer him to pay for his tuitions as a gift,” Bucky added sarcastically. “You should have known he’d accept it.”

“Hey! Don’t put the blame on me!” Tony heard was louder than before. Steve heard his footsteps getting nearer. “If you’d told me that he was dead set on going back to university, I’d never offer.”

What? Steve blinked away the tears. Some escaped and rolled down his pale cheeks. He tiptoed to the elevator, breath shuddering so loud he was sure they’d hear him. The doors opened before he could press any button. He silently thanked JARVIS.

The last words he heard was Tony’s voice, “Captain America, in art school, I better call Pepper before the press get heard of it.”

The door closed on Steve’s trembling body.

 Steve didn’t come back. He walked in the streets, canvas and gouaches under his arms. Every time he passed by a trash bin; he felt compelled to throw everything away. The more he went and the heavier everything became. He knew that it was in his head. His tools didn’t weigh that much and there was no scientifical reasons for them to gain a significant amount of weight. Steve could almost hear Tony reasoning in his head. They may not have seen eye to eye in the beginning but even back then Steve has appreciated the way his brain worked.

Steve stopped walking and looked around. He didn’t recognize the neighborhood. It looked residential which meant he wasn’t near the Tower. He wandered a few minutes before giving up. He sat down on a bench, laying his stuff carefully next to him.

He caressed the plastic protecting his canvas and sighed.

“Guess, they are right. That was ridiculous…” he laughed, his heart breaking at the mere thought of letting his dream go. “Yeah…that-.”

“Mister Rogers?”

Steve’s head snapped on his right. His body was already tensed and prepared to tackle the – Steve shook his head and smiled.

“I knew it was you,” the man, Jonah, continued, a smile stretching his plump lips.

Steve flushed embarrassed, under the intense gaze of the man. He looked at his belonging and stopped caressing the canvas.

“Yeah, I wanted to walk.”

Jonah raised an eyebrow and walked closer.

“To walk? If I remember correctly you live in the big phallus in the middle of the city.” Steve chuckled at the coincidence. The first time he’d see the Tower he’d compare it to a penis too. He may or may have not based his private report on Tony based on the building. Something to compensate, he remembered thinking. “Here it is back.”

Steve raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“You literally shone with the brightest smile I’ve seen in a long time. Most of my students are pretty much depressed, between the tuition and the workload most of them quit before the end of the semester. But you, you seemed not to care. Although I do know you were able to pay the tuition in full, the workload didn’t faze you. And it seemed to me that you still have to save the world between classes,” he joked.

Jonah paced in front of him looking around with inquisitive eyes. Steve sputtered some words. His blush was intensifying and the man in front of him didn’t seem aware of it. Steve’s thoughts were scattered around. He hadn’t been able to formulate a single coherent thought since Jonah stood in front of him.

The purple light from the sky wrapped the man in such an ethereal way. His dark brown skin glowed as he basked under the rays. An angel. Steve blinked, shocked by his thought. He shook his head and cleared his throat.

“Thanks,” he answered.

Jonah barked a laugh, startling Steve. He had already heard the man laugh during the lecture but to witness it up close was…intense. Jonah had a deep, raspy voice which didn’t really match his body. He was tall and lean. Steve knew that he had some prominent muscles under the layers of clothes and yet his voice has shocked him to the core.

His laugh reverberated in the empty street. Steve couldn’t help but join him, although his were more contain.

“Don’t thank me kid.”

“Kid?!” Steve exclaimed, almost indignant. Didn’t Jonah know that he was from the thirties?

“I have read your story, kid.” Jonah winked at him. “You were in your late twenties when you were gone, then 70 years later, poof! Here you are. So mentally and physically you are still a twenty-something boy, compared to me.” Jonah opened his jacked and took it off. He folded the soft looking material over his forearm.

Steve’s laugh surprised him. He didn’t know where it came from, but it rattled his entire chest and left him breathless.

Jonah stood there, looking at him, with soft eyes. It took a long time before Steve stopped. And even then, he had some quick chuckles. A boy? It’s been a long time…a long time he hadn’t been called that.

“So care to tell me why you were so down? A boy like you was made to smile, not to frown, but it seems to me that you are more used of the opposite.” Jonah walked closer. He raised his hand and tapped his forefinger on Steve’s forehead. His eyes fluttered under the soft touch. His entire face scrunched before relaxing.

He had seriously thought that Bucky and Tony would be happy to see him go back to university. They never complained or tried to reason him for the last few months. Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad…to think that they certainly laughed behind his back during the entire process filled him with anguish.

“My boyfriends lied to me. I thought they were supportive of me going back to school. But they only pretended…” Steve dropped his head and closed his eyes. The presence of Jonah weirdly anchored him. “I came back earlier and eavesdrop their conversation.” He swallowed with difficulty. The words, thanks to his eidetic memory came back raging in his head. “They thought I’d eventually come to my senses and recognize how ridiculous my idea was.”

Steve crossed his arms on his chest and slowly raised his head. Jonah wasn’t looking at him but on his right, where his newly acquired tools were.

“Why did you choose arts, Mister Rogers?”

Steve looked at him perplexed. What did it have to do with what he just revealed? Before he could properly think about it, the answer spilled out of his mouth.

“I have always loved arts under all its forms. Bucky always thought it started out of pure necessity. I used to sell sexy drawings to a newspaper, and it’d help us at the end of the month. I was sick and frail, almost like a burden first to my mom, then to Bucky. But arts…arts have always been something I could do. It didn’t demand any efforts, but it’s not only that. I could take a pen and draw anything. I could reinvent the world and create smiles where they were long gone. Draw people who died…or capture the moment,” he added quickly. He should have never talked that long. Jonah was practically a stranger. And what if he talked to the press, his heartbeat rose. He grabbed his thing and stood up, wobbling dangerously due to the lack of food.

“Whoa whoa Mister Rogers, calm down,” Jonah helped him out. “I can see how your brain works and no, I’m not going to talk to the press about any of that. And I guess you only have my words, huh?”

Steve’s brain short-circuited. The warmth of the hand on the middle of his chest seemed to burn through his clothes. He took a deep breath and relaxed. Somehow.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, cheeks still flaming red.

Jonah shook his head, a small amused smile playing on his lips. “So polite,” he muttered, to himself. Jonah took a few steps away and Steve mourned the comforting feeling.

“Have you told them what you used to do, mister Rogers?”

What?

“When you talked about your past, I couldn’t help but notice how you talked about dead people, how you drew them. Why didn’t you tell your lovers...” the word coming out of Jonah’s mouth sounded sinful. “what it truly means for you to go to school and achieve your dream.”

Steve dropped his gaze to the ground. The meaning of Jonas’ words passed right over his head. He knew what he said was meaningful and supposed to help him get better. Why couldn’t he focus! Instead his thoughts were getting on a dangerous territory. Just this morning he was waking up with Bucky and Tony by his side, thinking that it was a sight he’d never get tired of, and now he was getting flustered by his teacher. Fuck…get a grip, he thought with conviction.

“I already have.”

Jonah hummed while playing with his beard, which covered what seemed to be a sharp jaw. Steve closed his legs as the phantom sensation of a soft hair bruised his inner thighs. He didn’t dare close his eyes to face the perverse images which were crossing his mind.

Had he been cursed? Maybe a lust potion? Steve scratched the back of his neck and took a deep breath.

“You know what. I’m going to give you one good advice. Go for it. If you end up not liking it or being bored then…change major. You have all your life in front of you, Mister Rogers, don’t be a secondary character to your own life. And if your lovers can’t understand that, maybe it’s time for you to move on, as painful as it is.”

Steve opened his mouth. Then closed it. The idea of losing Bucky and Tony constricted his heart. And at the same time, he didn’t imagine himself giving up on his dreams.

“Oh, no, what have I done?” Jonah exclaimed dramatically. “The frown is back.”

Steve huffed, chastised. He massaged his forehead to let go of some tension.

“Sorry,” he mumbled again.

“…the death of me,” he heard the man whisper. Steve tensed, eyes bulging and mouth agape. He wasn’t supposed to hear that, right? He cleared his throat and fidgeted with the gouaches.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” Jonah groaned and put his head in his hands. “I’m really sorry, Mister Rogers. How unprofessional of me.”

Steve wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“We are outside the classroom. And if it is really a problem, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything.”

“I trust you, Mister Rogers.” Jonah winked.

“Steve,” he corrected him, without thinking.

Jonah whiskey eyes gleamed. There was something quite familiar and dangerous in his eyes. “Steve,” he repeated, tasting the word on his tongue.

Steve hid his sudden moan behind a cough. His face was not hell warm. Probably a lust potion. Someone – Clint- must have slipped something in his drink. It was the only solution. Jonah checked his watch and groaned. Steve felt instantly sorry. He hadn’t meant to talk that long to him. He must have

“I’m sorry, you must have a lot of things to do and –.”

He trailed off when Jonah got closer to him. Steve eyed him with unconcealed curiosity. Jonah extended his hand to probably shake Steve’s. As soon as both of their palms made contact, Jonah bent forward and kissed his palm. At this point, Steve’s control over his emotion crumbled. His heart went haywire. He wasn’t sure if it was healthy, but his heart missed a beat. Actually he was a 100% sure it missed at least one if not several beats.

Jonah stood straight and stared into his eyes. “You sure are going to be the death of me, Steve.”

On these last words, Jonah let go of his hand and started walking down the street. Steve stayed frozen at the same place, eyes still on the other man. As he was getting far enough, Jonah turned once back to wave at him.

 After that, Steve ran. He vaguely noted that it took him less longer to come back. Actually, he was so distracted that he almost missed the Tower.

He didn’t know what would happen. One part of him, wished it was a misunderstanding, that Bucky and Tony were genuinely happy for him. But the words…what he’s heard wouldn’t be easy to explain and he wasn’t sure to be ready to argue with his lovers.

There again time went by fast. He barely had the time to formulate a somewhat intelligible speech that he was in the penthouse.

He slowly made his way to the living room where Bucky and Tony were. Bucky jumped to his feet, as usual, when he saw him and smiled happily, arms already open to hug him.

At this moment, Steve was ready to throw any of his resolutions away. Maybe it was just misunderstanding after all. Bucky has always been with him and had his back more than he could count…

Then, Bucky eyes went to his canvas and his smiled dimmed before coming back a little too tight on the corners. Tony who just got up eyed him curiously. When his eyes found the canvas, he looked away.  

Steve smiled sadly. “We need to talk.”

 Fin

[myownpersonaldemons]

*breathes in* goth reader (who is lowkey a e girl and looks like she could’ve been in the underground the whole time) meets uf grillby. Go crazy with this one darling like go fuck wild with the prompt. Go apeshit. :)

So, I’m an old lady, and I had to figure out what an e-girl was because yo, I had no idea. I’ve heard it before but never actually understood what it meant. So it took a bit before I actually could write this because I had to do *adjusts glasses* research.

By research, I meant googling it and still being confused so I asked my tumblr followers and someone explained it so I accepted that term as the One.

Anyways! Prompt away! Goth(lowkey e-girl) Reader meeting UF!Grillbz.

Heads up, there is some mature themes to this. As in, Reader works at a sex shop. So, be aware. (because you said go wild I was like ‘what’s a wild way to meet someone for the first time? a sex shop. yes perfect got it let’s go.’)

You hummed softly as you scrolled through the comments on your newest Instagram post. You’d started doing OOTD’s because a couple people who followed you on other social media websites begged you too.Though, you had to admit that a lot of the comments were validating as fuck. A couple of people asked where you got specific pieces of clothing, so you answered honestly.

Honestly, once you saw the goth aesthetic you were all over it…and when e-girl aesthetic became a thing you were all over that as well. There was just something about it that felt…right. You looked great, and you didn’t mind people staring at you as much as you might’ve at one point.

Plus, ever since the monsters came to the surface,  there was an explosion of alt-clothing available everywhere and it was beautiful. You could actually find new pieces at your local clothing stores instead of needing to order online and pay the hefty shipping fees.

The bell on the door rang and you locked your phone and tucked it back into your pocket. As you glanced up you saw two masculine looking monsters, but honestly with them you knew to never assume anything.You tried not to assume, especially at your place of work, anything aboutanyone who walked in through the doors. So, you merely smiled, “Hey! Welcome, if you need any help gimme a shout!”

The skeletal monster shrank in his hoodie, making a ‘tch’ sound and proceeded to stare directly at the ground. On the other hand, the monster made entirely of purple flame tilted his head down slightly so you could see his bright white eyes which he winked at you.

You merely kept your smile on because honestly? You were way too used to people flirting with you randomly when they came in.

The two headed off deeper into the store and you waited a bit before moving from behind the counter to start organizing some merchandise.

“tch…no fuckin’ way,” the skeleton’s voice reached your ears as started to front end face all the boxes along the far wall closer to the two monsters. “look, m’tellin’ ya stockings are way fuckin’ hotter than thigh highs.”

“You drink mustard for a beverage, Sans…I do not think your ‘tastes’ are considered viable in anyway,” the fire monster replied back coolly. The skeleton monster, Sans, made a disgruntled noise. “Thigh highs are far superior, and are less likely to tear and be ruined. Quality is sexy.”

Another noise, “what th’ fuck? quality? sorry, forgot your stupid rich ass is into bullshit like ‘cashmere and silk.’” You could hear the distain in the skeletons voice that almost made you snort in response. Instead, you kept your opinions and thoughts to yourself as you continued to hear them banter back and forth. Sans was still avoiding looking at anything while the other perused the merchandise casually.

A purple firey hand picked up one of the boxes near you and began to examine it closely.

“uh, s’cuse me,” Sans said, and it took you a second to realize he was talking to you, but once you did you quickly apologized and asked him if there was something you could help him with. “what d’ya think? stockings or thigh highs?”

You paused, confused as to why you were being asked that. However, when you shifted your weight you were reminded that you were wearing stockings. Ah, was he trying to get you to agree with him? You tilted your head in thought, did you agree with him? Potentially…but you sawstockings as more ‘traditionally sexy’.

“Thigh highs,” you said finally, “because if the girl is wearing a skirt you can see that little strip of thigh between the thigh high and the skirt and that's hot.”

The fire monster, whom you still didn’t know the name of, gestured at you with a dildo. “See, Sans? A woman of culture. Unlike you.”

Working at a sex shop was never a tiresome endeavour, especially when customers use a dildo to emphasize a point before they realized they were in fact holding a phallus shaped object.

Sans tsked, “then why aren’t cha wearing thigh highs insteada stockings?”

You glanced down at your stockings. They were just basic fishnet stockings beneath a black skirt. You returned your gaze to Sans and then shrugged, “cus I thought I looked cute like this today. But, anyways, enough about me!” you waved your hands, “What brings you two in for? Anything I can help you out with?”

The fire monster was already looking at a different dildo, examining it curiously. Sans on the other hand shrank into his hoodie, glaring over at the fire monster. “tch, this asshole’s lookin’ for some shit.”

“You could get something for yourself too,” the fire monster pointed out, placing the dildo back down to pick up a bigger vibrator.

“I can make some suggestions if you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom together,” you said, and the reaction was instant. The fire monster recoiled visably, and Sans started sputtering, eye sockets wide.

“i!!! ain’t with this asshole!” he said, his accented voice becoming thicker as he took a few steps away from his companion.

“He is my ride here, nothing more,” the fire monster said quickly.

“y-yeah!” Sans added. The two began to insist that they really weren’t together, not letting you get a word in edge wise to apologize for the confusion. You hadn’t meant together as in they were together but just together as in friends shopping together. Of course, you listened in amusement as they basically listed off all the reasons why they totally couldn’t be together to you before falling silent. You basically got to listen to two people roast each other for thirty minutes, progressively finding stupider reasons about why they wouldn’t work together.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume,” you settled for and Grillby, whom you finally figured out his name during their attempt to prove that they weren’t together, nodded stiffly before turning and front end facing a few boxes that you hadn’t gotten to yet. He picked up one of the larger dildos that your store carried and you added, “We also have some beginner ones-“

He gave you a dry look, “I’m not a beginner, I’ve had bigger.”

“didn’t need to know that,” Sans grumbled, covering his face with a hand, “look, grillbz, imma wait for ya outside. this is too fuckin’ weird.”

He strode towards the door quickly, and with a light dingle of the bell was gone. The moment the door shut completely, Grillby placed the dildo back on the shelf. “I’m here only because he spilt mustard on my favourite white shirt. I apologize for taking up your time, though I must admit, I’m glad that such a lovely woman as you is the one working. I haven’t seen many humans dressing like you.”

You would blush but you had stopped taking anyone’s flirts seriously while on shift.  “It’s kind of a niche look for humans,” you admitted, subconsciously tugging at the sleeves of your shirt. “To be honest,it was incredibly hard to find this sort of stuff until Monsters got to thesurface. You all look so awesome, how do you even find this sort of stuff?”

He gave you a thoughtful look at that, “I know a spider who custom makes clothing. A lot of monsters make their own clothing…for obvious reasons. Though…if I am honest, I thought you would have known that by now.”

You rose an eyebrow, “Uh…why?”

That made him pause, then he gestured to your neck, “You have a collar.”

It took a few seconds before it hit you.Oh! Your neighbour explained that monsters wore collars for different purposes. You were wearing a black leather choker with a silver heart on it. “Oh! Uh…no, this is a choker…it’s a fashion thing for humans. There’s no one…I’m not with anyone like that,” you quickly said, hoping you weren’t offending him.

“A woman of your quality and beauty? I’m fucking amazed you don’t have a plethora of people begging to be with you,” he said, eyes slowly raking over your body. “But again, I apologize for taking up your time.”

That compliment did manage to have your cheeks heat up.

“You’re my first customer in thirty minutes,” you admitted with a shrug instead, “Though if you are looking for something I can help you.”

He was silent for a moment before nodding, “I was actually curious about the body safe wax candles?”

“Oh! Those are my favourite, we got some new ones in,” you said happily, leading him over. You spent the next thirty minutes talking to him about the safety and precautions while using the candles, how to use them. It then dissolved into talking about different objects around the store that he was curious about, and he actually ended up purchasing a good amount of products.

He paused before he left and then pulled out a business card and slid it across the counter towards you. It said ‘Grillby’s Bar’ in swirling purple font, along with an address and times on it. 

“If you ever swing by for a drink, I’ll be sure to be as gracious as a host to you as you’ve been to me today,” he said, voice dripping with as much swagger and confidence as someone who had bought a giant purple dragon dildo should have. He said it was to freak out Sans, but when you told him that dildos weren’t returnable (for obvious reasons), he said that he wouldn’t need to.

You raised your eyebrow at him, “You own a bar?”

Grillby smirked, “Best one in town if you ask me.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Says the owner.”

He chuckled before looking at you over his sunglasses, “I have excellent taste, after all.”

“That you do,” you replied, dropping your gaze to his bag, teasingly, “I hope you enjoy yourself!”

Grillby winked at you, “Oh, I will. Though, if you swing by my bar after your finished work tonight, I think my night would be just about made.”

“I’ll think about it,” you replied quickly, and he sauntered out with a wave.

You rolled your eyes but grinned. Maybe you would stop by his bar tonight.

Maybe…you’d switch your stockings for thigh highs.