#yeah the brainworms are strong with this one

[peofun1]

Summary:

Suo's blood. Suo was bleeding. Suo was not supposed to bleed. --- Suo takes a hit during a fight, and Sakura takes it very badly.

actually posting my writing for the first time in ages. sometimes I just get really struck with an idea and can't rest until I write it down.

[vonlipvig]

Um hi, I watched Anatomy of a Fall last month, got obsessed with Sandra Hüller, then watched Toni Erdmann and I fear it has only gotten worse, do you know any blogs that regularly post about her/Anatomy? I love Swann but I am very gay for Ms Hüller and she's the one I'm here for lol

are you me? are we clones? should we kiss?

jokes aside, ME TOO FRIEND, i'm hoping everytime i post about her i'm coming across as normal and well adjusted, but in my mind i'm like. Barking. she's so hot. and smart. and talented. and so German. i want her so bad.

she was so incredible in anatomy of a fall, cause like, i didn't know her before that, but you watch that and you're like, oh! i'm obsessed, actually! and then toni erdmann is SO GOOD it touched something so personal and she was fantastic as well (i've been blasting 'greatest love of all' for days because of it lmao). now i can't wait to watch sisi & i, or as twitter user @/lionesspike writes, the one where she's a "whipped socially awkward bottom following her beautiful bipolar empress around like a desperate puppy for 2+ hrs. good food." we're so lucky, dude.

as for other people around here, i mostly just post because i need to scream at the void a bit, so i'm not really sure lmao. i actually get most of my sandra fix from twitter, since somehow i've trained the algorithm there to constantly show me pics of her (here's my twitter, if you want, go through my retweets and likes and have fun lmao). here, i know @maester-of-spreadsheets is also a big fan, so def check them out! and i guess reply to this post if you like anatomy of a fall and/or are gay af for sandra hüller babyyyy.

[italyveneziano]

What is up everybody i may be wiping off the dust from this blog because i listened to a HetaOni song too many over the past few days and now i have a severe case of the brainworms

[kotaerukoto]

When I realize that post-DR1 Makoto probably wouldn't be able to straightforwardly answer the question "are you happy?" without lying

[canisonicscrewyou]

she’s insane she’s a wet cat of a human being she’s got daddy and mommy issues up to here she’s pathetic she’s everything she’s a breakthrough case she’s in hiding she’s forever mourning she’s a mom she’s got trauma she doesn’t even know how to find a therapist for she loves her friends and she secretly loves attention and if one things for certain she’s never stepping foot inside of the TARDIS ever again (a lie)

[ferineelegance]

((...Sometimes it's funny remembering that a lot of people that haven't known Esie from pretty much the beginning Zoids verse days probably think she was made small because cute (nothing wrong with that lol), when actually she was made that short because she was designed to be a particularly good prospect for withstanding high G-forces. Esie is not a smol because cute. Esie is smol because tactical advantage.

The cute 'height difference' perk was just a side effect

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

🧠🪱Wiggly Wednesday🪱🧠

(This one ran away with me, whoops)

Batboy_Kas: Um ... dude, what? 🤨

This is the dm that greets Steve when he pulls his phone from his back pocket to check his Instagram. One confused frown, some scrolling, and one near-heart-attack later, he concludes that he forgot to lock his screen when he put the phone away earlier.

Which caused him to somehow end up on this random stranger's profile.

And go to his DMs.

And send him a GIF.

Not just any GIF. One of a grotesquely round and jiggly, animated ass. There's a text beneath the GIF. It reads: 2iggnag lg9gajdgka hfhdgjy.

"Aw, fuck!" Steve swears, neck prickling with heat as he types his reply.

Steve_Hairington: Shit, sorry. My ass typed that 😅

Batboy_Kas: Fitting choice of gif 🍑

Steve_Hairington: Yeah I guess

Batboy_Kas: You could say it's a ... smart ass

Steve snorts a laugh. What a dork! He's still debating if he should reply or leave it at that when Batboy_Kas sends his next message.

Batboy_Kas: So ... not even the tiniest chance you were flirting with me?

Steve_Hairington: Sorry dude. I prefer my men-

(He pauses to squint at the guy's profile pic. A cute little cartoon bat.)

-a little more human-shaped.

Batboy_Kas: Hey! That's just bc you've never had a creature of the night b4 🦇😉

Steve_Hairington: 🤣🤣🤣 Nice try, bat boy!

They end up texting (and flirting) regularly. Kas - named after some vampire dude from that dungeons and dipshits game Dustin enjoys - is a huge fantasy and music nerd, can keep up a string of banter for hours, and his dms quickly become the highlight of Steve’s days.

He knows better than to meet random faceless and nameless strangers from the internet, he really does. But when Kas says he's in town for work some two months later, Steve is a bit embarrassed at how fast he agrees to a date.

Kas doesn't really beat the vampire allegations when he shows up at their meeting point, skittish and nervous, clad in an oversized Metallica hoodie, drawn all the way over his head inspite of the sunny weather, dark shades obscuring his eyes.

He's cute, though. Sweet and almost shy without the distance and a screen between them, but still with that quick wit and edgy sense of humor Steve has come to like so much. A deep, rich voice that makes something inside Steve’s belly tingle, a hint of dark curls spilling out from his hood, and strong, calloused hands covered in rings, the edges of black tattoos disappearing into his sleeves. It makes Steve wanna take the stupid hoodie off him so that he can see all of him.

Which is exactly what he does when they take it to Kas's hotel room later that night. And God, the man is gorgeous. Dark, messy curls framing a pair of insanely dark brown eyes and the poutiest lips Steve has ever had the pleasure of kissing. An intricate web of tattoos that are just begging to be traced with his tongue.

Later, when they're lying together in an exhausted tangle of naked limbs and sweaty sheets, Steve snaps a photo and saves it as his phone background. He doesn't think much of it.

Until a week later, when Dustin opens his phone to read out a message while Steve is driving and starts shrieking so loudly they almost crash into a tree, bc why the fuck does Steve have a selfie of himself and Eddie Munson - frontman of the world famous metal band Corroded Coffin - on his phone and are you both naked, Steve???

Tagging some friends to share a brainworm of their own:

@cuips-not-cute @steddiecameraroll @postmodernau @oh-stars @steddie-island

@wynnyfryd @pennyplainknits @medusapelagia @hotluncheddie @sidekick-hero

[hestzhyen]

An Extremely Subjective HakuHiro Romantic Trope Breakdown

Greetings, void. This arc is rough and the brainworms won't let me write my own hurt/comfort fan fiction- they demand half-baked analysis instead of lovemaking. So have the closest thing that passes for fluff from yours truly.

In essence, this is just a list of the explicitly romantic tropes I love applying to HakuHiro with varying degrees of gushing ship babble as justification. Some are definitely skewed hard towards headcanon but there's always at least a tenuous connection to something that's demonstrated in the work itself. Proceed if this kind of brain rot sounds like your jam! Otherwise just please let me die from cringe in peace.

Battle Couple

Offense and support working in perfect harmony.

So this is just one of my personal favourites, but Chihiro and Hakuri definitely have strong vibes for this trope. They fought together in an absolutely stunning display of mutual trust and understanding in the Rakuzaichi Arc. Seriously, these guys pulled off some truly spine-tingly good moves to take down Kyora despite Hakuri only just awakening to his powers the very same day.

They demonstrated this again in the train fight protecting Uruha- Hakuri and Chihiro only need the bare minimum of communication between them to fight in style. I look forward to more chances for them to show off their teamwork! If they end up fighting back-to-back in canon I'll probably just straight up ascend to fudanshi heaven on the spot. I LOVE BATTLE COUPLES.

Love at First Sight/Rescue Romance

"This is the kind of man I need in my life."

Love at First Sight is pretty self-explanatory: person A sees person B and immediately falls head over heels. It's easy to slap that on Hakuri in his introduction chapter- he's only missing an invitation to get to know each other over some coffee when they finally meet up, really. Unless asking someone to help you kill your family is the Kagurabachi universe's equivalent...?

As for Rescue Romance, it's another very simple scenario: person A is saved by person B, which causes them to fall in love. Chihiro saves Hakuri with the other random people at the site of Sojo's massacre attempt, and Hakuri... yeah. You get it.

I think there's a better trope to associate to this later on in the list, but Love at First Sight and Rescue Romance are still apt and very funny tropes to apply towards Hakuri's first impression of Chihiro. The way he waxed poetic over the mystery samurai who saved and inspired him had me in stitches. Seriously, my oldest notes on Hakuri from that chapter are mostly just laughing about him being really passionate about Chihiro for someone who's not intended to be a love interest! Go get 'im, Hakuri. He needs you in his life just as much as you need him in yours.

Mindlink Mates

Don't need to hear each other at all if you just "get" them.

This is something I like to apply as a Fanon concept based on what happens in canon. Hakuri and Chihiro aren't literally linked mind-to-mind via telepathy, but both of them have a deep understanding of what the other's thinking and feeling at any given moment. I really like the concept that they understand everything about each other on an instinctual level. It's mostly fueled by the Aun concepts that have been associated to them, which I'll get into during a later section. But yeah. Hakuri and Chihiro being borderline telepathic in how they can sense the other's status. That's crack cocaine to me and it's not too far removed from canon so I'm running with it.

I also really like the idea of their strong emotions and desires bouncing off of and amplifying each other's, but I don't know if there's a specific trope for that, so it gets placed here at the end of this tangentially related section. Also not something far removed from canon given how they both fuel each other's self-destructive savior tendencies because they feel the same way!

Moe Couplet

They're so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute

A Moe Couplet is essentially a pair of characters that enhance each other's cute traits. Separate, they are perfectly fine individuals with their own appeal. Together, they are adorable and capable of some tooth-rottingly sweet moments. This trope isn't typically associated with romantic duos in stuff aimed at general audiences, but it's common in BL as the basis for "fluff" works and wholesome pairings.

This is probably the biggest stretch to apply towards canon on the list, honestly. We haven't seen that much moe moe action from Hakuri and Chihiro- they're kind of busy fighting for their lives or hurting themselves to save others most of the time. But the few moments we get send me straight into cuteness agression-induced brain rot every time I think of them.

Most of this trope label for HakuHiro comes from little details. Like Chihiro often being shown reassuring Hakuri, and Hakuri getting some of the sweetest smiles out of him in return. Hakuri brings out Chihiro's soft side when Char's not around to do so and Chihiro helps Hakuri be his absolute silliest. These guys are are so good to each other! They melt the ice around my cold, dead heart into a slurry of hnnngh and incoherent shipper screeching.

What's it actually based on though? Well, I thought I was just doing normal delusional fudanshi things by thinking Hakuri is extra cute when he's around Chihiro and vice versa. But then Hokazono-sensei threw me a bone in an interview by saying he intended for Hakuri to "bring out Chihiro's personality and add some cuteness". And I. Just. I exploded into confetti on the spot. MOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

One True Love

This ship is not merely an OTP to me, if you haven't noticed.

Note: "ai" is not inherently romantic despite it being the end-goal of pretty much every romance novel out there. It's for deep, profound affection felt for someone- friends, family, even pets. It's rare and not commonly said aloud outside of the climax of a love story is all!

This is mostly tied to Hakuri's experience with love growing up and how he can find out what 愛 [ai, purest and deepest love], really means.

Hakuri probably has no fucking clue what love of any kind is really supposed to look or feel like, much less the ultimate form of it. His father threw ai around as something to manipulate his children into serving the family tradition. Soya used it as an excuse to torture him. This was deliberately done to contrast with the love that Chihiro knew growing up- true ai between father and son, which was cruelly ripped away from him.

So let Chihiro teach Hakuri, and Hakuri provide in return. They're already each other's perfect partners anyway so just put a romantic spin on it!

Hakuri finding unconditional love he doesn't fear in Chihiro and Chihiro finding the same in Hakuri once more. Neither of them ever needing to fall in love again because they slot together so perfectly to fill the gaps in each other's hearts. Oh I'm gonna die...

Opposites Attract

If not meant to be canon, why colour coded as opposite compliments? :thonk:

This is the trope that activates a primitive part of my brain that overrides all thoughts with eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee noises when it comes to HakuHiro. Hakuri and Chihiro are true opposites that are perfectly balanced to contrast and compliment each other, resulting in a duo greater than the sum of it's parts.

Hokazono-sensei made his intentions about Hakuri and Chihiro extremely clear by going so far as to colour code them for us. This is the protagonist and his foil/deuteragonist guy who is Important as Fuck. The level of detail in designing and writing them reads like he took this trope extremely seriously and said "let's save the Hero + Lancer coding for Hiyuki instead". 'Cause as much as I love her, Hiyuki's got nothing on Hakuri when it comes to this trope. Her thing is closer to being the same person as Chihiro with the opposite frame of mind and mode of expression- it's Hakuri and Chihiro who are the true manifestation of Opposites Attract down to the tiniest details. I'm ready to die on this hill so come at me and put me out of my misery.

I mean just look at these guys:

Chihiro: black and red, stoic, reserved, serious and polite, slim and straight profile.

Hakuri: white and blue, emotive, outgoing, silly and casual, loose and boxy profile.

They invert the same ways under pressure; Chihiro stresses and falters while Hakuri focuses and buckles down. Their fucking backstories are in on it too: they both lost their father's love but under distinctly opposite circumstances. Even the love they received was contrasted since Kunishige was a perfectly wholesome dad while Kyoura used love in an abusively manipulative way! And that laid the foundation for the premise of the Rakuzaichi arc- Hakuri wants to destroy his family's legacy while Chihiro still wants to do right by his. It would take a whole 'nother post to list everything between them because every single detail about one is carefully crafted to be present in the other in order to complete their characters. It's absolutely insane and it's what really sold me on the ship.

The level of care put into writing Hakuri and Chihiro as opposites who complete each other is out of this fucking world. I'll feel sorry for whatever girl gets assigned to be a mandatory heterosexual love interest for either of them because there's just no way to compete when two people are written to be so thoroughly intertwined with each other.

(To clarify just in case: I don't think Chiyuki is a bad ship. I'm not trying to trash it and say HakuHiro's better or more legitimate somehow. I just have an issue with shounen romance in general because the girls don't get nearly as much narrative effort to make them compelling companions to the MC compared to the "best friends" and Kagurabachi is doing nothing new in that regard so far. Hokazono-sensei can actually make a bigger impact by refusing to tease Chihiro and Hiyuki at all instead of going down the tired old path of obligated sub-par heterosexual ship tease/romance IMO.)

The Power of Love

Nice Heroic Second Wind you got after thinking about Chihiro there, Hakuri.

So this is definitely skewed towards pure delusion on my part, but that's what we're all here for anyway. Power of Friendship? Never heard of it.

Basically, person A uses their love for person B to power up and overcome the hardship they're facing. In this case, I'm interpreting Hakuri's tendency to think of Chihiro when he's in dire straits as romantic!

Hakuri comes in clutch a lot and his feelings abut Chihiro are the reason he can do it. The memory of his samurai refusing to yield gives Hakuri the strength to keep standing and finally put Soya down in chapter 36. He does it again in a sadder way in Chapter 58 when he thinks of Chihiro and musters the last of his strength to summon him too late to save Uruha. I have no doubt that he'll have more of these moments as the series goes on, too. Chihiro is kind of hope incarnate to Hakuri.

Chihiro's drawn strength from his feelings for Hakuri too, but not in a pinch kind of way like the Power of Love trope typically implies. I'm just waiting for the day when it's his turn to use memories of Hakuri to keep standing (never gonna happen)!

Ship Tease

Putting this here for lack of a better term, but there's a running gag about Hakuri and Chihiro's relationship that's been escalating in intensity since the early parts of the Rakuzaichi arc. It only comes across in bits and pieces in English compared to Japanese, sadly, but I'll do my best to explain it.

Basically, I'm interpreting the jokes about Hakuri acting like a dog as deliberate ship tease for the lols from the author.

"Paw. Shake. Good boy."

It starts in chapter 28 with Hakuri dropping everything he's doing to run over to Chihiro when his name is called. It's really cute and funny and not something that can get lost in translation- Chihiro calls, and Hakuri comes. Just like a loyal dog to it's master.

It's set aside for a while until the Sword Bearer Assassination Arc starts up and Hiyuki drops this banger during the trial in chapter 46:

"But where he [Hakuri] stands is a big pain in the butt. He's not the one calling the shots." - official TL

Of note is the term Hiyuki used to say that Chihiro's the one in charge: 舵取り [kajitori]. The normal meaning for it is "steering a boat" or "helmsman" with the secondary being leader/director, so it's not like the English TL messed up. Same meaning different wording. What's lost is the subtext: 舵取り as Hiyuki's using it can also imply that Chihiro's in charge of Hakuri like the owner of a dangerous guard dog would be lmao. Hakuri kind of earned that jab after threatening to leave her in the storehouse to die if she hurt Chihiro, though.

And then there's this completely unnecessary scene from Ch. 50...

"Who's this? This little squirt smells like Chihiro, but he's not Chihiro."- official TL

The TL again isn't bad here but it really downplays just how fucking weird Samura is (which downgrades the rocket propellant to mere ship fuel). Samura's phrasing about Hakuri smelling like Chihiro was so batshit insane in Japanese that fellow JP shippers felt compelled to reach out to the rest of us in English to let us know, which is almost completely unheard of.

Basically, Samura wasn't saying that Hakuri merely smelled like Chihiro. He actually said that Hakuri was wearing Chihiro's scent, completely enveloped in it to the point of smelling identical to him. A native JP reader (in the link above) said that in their interpretation, the word "まとって [matotte]" isn't really used for friends, but more for lovers, family members, or dogs and their owners in the sense that being so physically close all the time causes their scents to rub off on each other.

It's not a normal term used to describe smelling like someone in the first place. When Samura meets younger Chihiro in the flashback and says he "reeks of Rokuhira", he uses the typical word for "smell/scent" (香り [kaori]) in Japanese. So for some reason we just had to know that Hakuri smelled like Chihiro in the way dog or a lover would, huh... so much so that Samura thought he actually was Chihiro... (I can't get over this, it sends my sides into orbit every fucking time).

So yeah. That's some top-tier ship tease if I do say so myself. What that dog doin'? What did they get up to on the train before meeting with Uruha? That's for us to decide!

Soulmates

It's not exactly hard to see that Hakuri and Chihiro have a bit more going on between them than standard friendship or brotherhood, even for a shounen series. Even some dudebros acknowledged this before the fandom gave over to homophobic trash anyway.

It all stems from Hakuri invoking one of the most potent romantic tropes there is as soon as they meet:

"That day, a samurai lit my helpless existence on fire."

Jesus Christ Hakuri, that's some passion!

I think the "soulmates" trope is the most fitting description of what's going on between Hakuri and Chihiro from the very first time they meet. I'll even go so far to say that it actually has a pretty damn good case for being canon in a platonic sense!

For the uninitiated (like I was), the soulmates trope is invoked when two characters feel a strong and immediate connection upon first meeting each other. It can be one-sided or even completely rejected by both at the start, but they will always find their way to each other since they are fated to be. The whole world falls into kilter when they get together even if they were perfectly functional people on their own before. HakuHiro is this trope to a fucking T in my mind. Absolutely flawless execution, 10/10 no notes.

Hakuri's part is obvious- he sees Chihiro and decides he must have this amazing person in his life no matter what. He feels the pull of destiny and answers the call with an overabundance of enthusiasm.

Chihiro's part is more subtle. He does the one-sided rejection thing at the start by running away, but fate pulls them together via circumstance and he takes Hakuri back with him. And somehow, for some reason, Hakuri is the first person he opens up about his genuine feelings to in a surprisingly raw way:

"If I don't do something, and a sacred blade takes the lives of innocent people... I wouldn't be able to bear that..."

He met the guy minutes ago, tried to run away from him, then decided to bear his heart to him in the elevator. Chihiro's a natural stoic who doesn't show much of what he's feeling and generally keeps thoughts like this to himself. But Hakuri brings out this softer, more vulnerable side to him that no other character has before. Then as the arc progresses, Chihiro comes to rely on Hakuri more and more until it's crazy to think that he ever ran away in the first place. It's like they were always meant to find and save each other.

I'm not looking too hard at this with shipping goggles strapped to my face. We get confirmation that this is what's going on with them via The Word of God Himself:

From the Volume 4 description: 一方、兄からの愛と暴力によって地に伏した伯理。今際の際に脳裏を過ったのは、ある少女との日々だった。極限の中、二人の少年の魂が呼応する。

"Meanwhile, Hakuri is struck down by his brother's love and violence. On the brink of death, he remembers the days he spent with a certain girl. In the midst of this extreme tension, the souls of both boys resonate with each other."

The last sentence is basically more total harmony/Aun imagery for Hakuri and Chihiro. 呼 (ko) means to call and 応 (ou) means to respond. Together, 呼応 means to act in concert. So Hakuri and Chihiro's souls call out and respond to each other in perfect sync when they're in dire straits. It's canon!

If that's not enough, then there's also the Aun imagery. It was left out of the EN Chapter 38 colour page as usual (never gonna forgive the EN version for removing the text), but basically the author used deliberate religious imagery to tell us that Chihiro and Hakuri have an inherently harmonious relationship. A and Un, in perfect sync- whatever one starts, the other will finish. The beginning and end of all things. A perfect pair.

They demonstrate this lethal effectiveness by working in tandem during the storehouse fight, with Chihiro only needing to yell Hakuri's name for Hakuri to perfectly interpret everything he's thinking and execute on it flawlessly. It's absolutely insane stuff even if we disregard Hakuri only woke up to his power less than an hour ago in-universe isn't it?! And they repeated the stunt the next day while protecting Uruha, so it wasn't just a one-off for a cool moment. It's core to their dynamic for their souls to resonate in total harmony!

And just to top it off, we got a funny little gag of Chihiro and Hakuri passing out and waking up at the same time side-by-side after the auction, totally in sync.

All of this within a week of meeting each other.

Some actual romantic soulmate couples don't get this much effort put into coding their relationship, just saying. I also don't think people would be so quick to jump on the sibling interpretation after Shiba's "What are ya, twins?" joke if Hakuri and Chihiro were a heterosexual ship option, just sayin'.

Unknowingly in Love

No sad pictures of dead Kunishige in this post!

This is another one that's far closer to fanon than canon. It banks on the fact that both of them grew up isolated and, quite frankly, probably poorly socialized compared to the rest of the world.

Chihiro lived with just his dad in a remote mountain home and only occasionally visited the town nearby with Shiba. No friends, no school even. Hakuri lived on the secluded Sazanami estate surrounded by his family and saw some of the outside world, but likely only the criminal elements of it. Plus there's the whole growing up only knowing love as something abusive and manipulative thing; even his parent's marriage was strongly implied to be arranged and joyless. Neither of these guys have anything decent in their personal lives to reference from!

So in my mind, while Hakuri and Chihiro have certainly heard of romantic love and thought about it themselves, they wouldn't really have an idea of what it feels or looks like to them. Couple that with being each other's first friends ever and you've got some extremely potent fluff (or angst) about them being unaware that what they're feeling isn't platonic.

You Are Worth Hell

I will follow you into the dark.

And to round things off, one of my favourite romance tropes ever! But it's not canon at all- YET.

You see, Hakuri and Chihiro are constantly pulling each other forward. When one stumbles, the other's there with a helping hand. But what happens when one descends into hell like Chihiro says he's doing this very arc? Will the other try to throw them a lifeline and hope for the best?

Nay! The other will stay by their side out of love.

This trope can veer too close to toxic situationship scenarios for comfort, it's true. Characters staying to "save" someone or letting themself get dragged down at their own expense is not healthy at all. But the core sentiment of this trope is that anything is bearable if you're with the one you love. The emphasis isn't on the mutual suffering but rather the comfort of being together despite it all.

My personal interpretation of the relationship between Hakuri and Chihiro is that one was born in hell (Hakuri) and the other has condemned himself to it (Chihiro). Hakuri's trying to rise up while Chihiro has consigned himself to sink further into the darkness. They met at at a crossroads on their respective journeys and are walking together for a while. And when Chihiro takes a turn to keep going further down, I think Hakuri will stop him from going too far. Hakuri will be the light in the gloom until the mission's over. Then they'll figure out if they can make it back up or not. And if they can't? Well, he was already at rock bottom before Chihiro came into his life. It's worth it to stay in hell at his side and face everything together.

So I think this can apply very well to HakuHiro as the current arc progresses. Hakuri choosing to stay as a partner to provide support rather than trying to save Chihiro at his own expense would be huge character growth for him. And Chihiro accepting Hakuri's gesture would be growth for him too- he doesn't have to do this alone. There's no truly Bad End for their stories if they are walking side-by-side to face the hardships together until the end.

That's it. If you got through all this, thanks. Yap at me about tropes I missed! I love hearing the myriad ways other people interpret this ship. Unless you think fixed left-right boring seme/uke stereotype ChiHaku is the only valid interpretation, in which case we can never be friends. Sorry not sorry.

[my-pjo-stuff]

Okay hear me out, has anyone ever thought of dark/possessive Camp Halfblood x brainwashed Luke ?

‘Cause like, I HAVE and it’s been giving me brainworms.

Camp Halfblood is all but filled with a bunch of heavily traumatized and most likely love and attention starved demigods. So it wouldn't be too weird to say that they could have easily gotten overly attached to Luke.

How couldn't they have? He was pretty much everything most of these kids wished for in a caretaker. Caring, strong, gentle, smart, responsible- Luke was all of that to camp.

And then he betrayed them. He got up and left, just like that. That must have fucked up some of them, right?

Luke was supposed to be theirs.

The one person they could always rely on. And now he’s just gone? Vanished? Betrayed them because he wants to overthrow the gods?

Unacceptable.

Simply unacceptable.

Luke is supposed to be theirs.

And no one else's.

Anyway, fast forward to TTC where Thalia has Luke at spearpoint- instead of begging for his life Annabeth begs for his capture.

Luke’s actually a bit more injured from the fight here than he was in canon, so he doesn't immediately attempt to start a fight again, giving Annabeth and Thalia time to talk.

Thalia of course argues against it at first. But Annabeth insists. Saying that camp found a way to make sure Luke would never leave them again.

But first they’d need to capture him.

Against all odds, Thalia obliges after a while. And with Luke weakened from the fight he doesn't even have the power to really fight as he’s taken captive.

He’s brought back to camp by Annabeth while Percy and Thalia go to talk to the gods.

Now that’s where the REAL dark stuff starts.

Because the camp still wants Luke. Just not the Luke he is right NOW. They want the old Luke.

The caring Luke.

The Luke who was always there for them.

The Luke who’d never even think of leaving them.

And what do you do when you want a specific version of a person back? Easy, you make them that specific version of themselves.

Yeah, they are pulling the brainwashing.

That guy’s mind is SCREWED with.

Luke’s basically turned into a declawed cat.

He doesn't remember who Kronos is. Neither does he remember ever betraying them in the first place. Memories of the world outside of camp are fuzzy at best.

Luke’s being put in a sort of daze. Constantly blissed out and happy. All he really cares about anymore is lounging around with other campers. Talking, cuddling, doing anything really.

He doesn't even have the mind anymore to really fight against it. The campers made sure of that.

The other campers justify it by saying that Luke’s much happier like this. They HAD to do this to him. Luke is theirs, even if he’s too blind to see it on his own.

The gods allowed it to happen with Hermes heavily vouching for it (it’s better than Luke possibly dying otherwise in his eyes)

Better have him be at camp than with Kronos, no? Not to mention that having the leader of Kronos' forces back at camp might demoralize the enemy forces.

They also see it as a sort of punishment. Luke being stuck at the place be betrayed and wanted to leave to desperately. Forced to serve as the plaything to the children of the gods He wanted to overthrow. Unable to ever even think of leaving again.

There were rules of course. He wasn’t allowed to hold any weapons anymore. Neither was Luke allowed to ever hold any position of power like Counselor or Sword Instructor ever again.

But that was fine.

Camp didn't care.

They made Luke a lot more affectionate. More domestic. He didn't need to fight anyway.

All he needed to be was their Luke.

Everyone's perfect, loving older brother.

And now that they finally have him back, they’d make sure he’d never leave them again.

[readerstories]

In Rain and Mud - Wolverine x male reader x Deadpool 1/4

Saw the movie in theaters finally, brainworm ofc came in strong. (Part 2) (Part 3) (AO3)

Warnings/tags: male reader, eventual canon-typical violence, blood, eventual smut

Wordcount: 996

Summary: Your cabin lays far away from anything and everything. And with the rainstorm currently battering the woods this night you don’t expect to see or hear another human being until you leave for town. So when there’s banging on your door, you switch your book with your shotgun from its place on a sidetable, loading it as you approach your door.

Your cabin lays far away from anything and everything. 

It’s how you want it, how you want to live most of the time.

Leaves you with peace to read your book in front of the roaring fire keeping the chill out, lounging in grey sweatpants and a loose green t-shirt.

And with the rainstorm currently battering the woods this night you don’t expect to see or hear another human being until you leave for town.

So when there’s banging on your door, you switch your book with your shotgun from its place on a sidetable, loading it as you approach your door.

You stop right in front of it, hand on the handle as you sniff, trying to smell and hear whoever is there on the other side.

“Come on! Let us in, drowning in the storm or blowing away would be a really sucky way to die!” Hearing the man is not difficult as he yells to be heard over the howling winds, all you can smell is the rain and your own cabin. You open the door just little more than a crack, keeping your shotgun hidden behind the door for the moment. Two men stands on your porch, bathed in your porch light, the darkness behind them filled with the swoosh of wind, moving trees, and rain,

“Who the fuck are you?” You look at the man in the red and black suit that was banging on your door just seconds ago, briefly glancing from his masked face to his frowning companion behind him, that guy in a yellow and blue suit. 

“Oh thought you would never ask!” Red reaches behind him and yanks Yellow next to him, an arm over Yellow’s shoulder, which gets him a grunt and a fist in his side from Yellow, though Red doesn’t visibly react to the punch.

“I’m Deadpool, but you can call me Wade for short.” Deadpool splays a hand on his own chest as he presents himself. “And this handsome frowny face,” He grabs Yellow’s chin, “This is Wolverine, or Logan if you want less of a mouthful.” Wade winks, Logan batting away Wade’s hand from his face. 

You look them up and down, fully taking in what looks like costumes, that are ripped and bloody in places. Deadpool, or Wade, is sporting two kantanas, two guns in thigh holsters, one knife in a leg holster, and a utility belt. Logan has no visible weapons, though you note the grey slits between the knuckles on his gloves.

“You some kind of heroes? Villains?”

“Merchanaries actually!” Wade voice is surprisingly chipper for someone that is soaked to the bone in ripped clothes. “At least for now while we make ends meet.” Logan pushes Wade’s arm off his shoulder, taking a step to the side as you look at them both.

You grunt.

“Leave the weapons outside.”

“Don’t trust us sweetcheeks?”

“Who the fuck would? Leave em or you can wash away with the rain for all I care.” Wade shrugs, taking off his weapons and putting them on the porch. As he does so, you look at Logan.

“You got any?”

“No.” You catch a whiff of the tangy stench of a lie on that one gruff word, but don’t bother pushing it. You can’t see any right now, not much he could have hidden in the suit, and it’s not like you can’t defend yourself without being armed or prepared.

Without weapons, you let them inside, shutting out the storm once more.

“Take off your shoes, mud.” You order as you unload your shotgun, putting the shells in your pocket, leaning the gun next to the door.

“Hate to ask hot stuff, you got any spare clothes? Would hate, hate, hate to track water and blood all over this rustic but so, so chic wooden floors.

“Yeah.” You walk off to your bedroom to check your closet.

“Ohhhh a man of few words, you and Logan match! I think we’ll get along great cuddling up here together.” There’s a sound that sounds like a punch followed by an “ouf” from Wade. You snort.

Rifling through your dresser, you grab one black hoodie, one blue hoodie, two black sweatpants, two pairs of socks, and two boxers,

You return to the living room with the clothes, where Wade has already started stripping off clothes, leaving him in just pants while Logan is still fully dressed in his soaked suit. You ignore the scars covering all the skin you can see on the almost nude Wade, handing him the bundle with the blue hoodie, while Logan gets the black one.

“So you get the sexy grey pants while we are stuck with boring black? Is this that kinda porn?” You imagine if Wade had any eyebrows they would be wiggling. You ignore his comment.

“Towels under the sink,” You point towards the door of your bathroom, “Food is the kitchen corner, liquor in the cabinet in the corner, the spare bedroom has one bed. Share it or take the couch, don’t care, just don’t fuck on either.” Logan scowls at you, Wade laughs.

“Look pookie, I’m not the only one that thinks we have unsolved sexual tension, the writer thinks so too!” This time you see the punch, this time it topples Wade over, sending him to the floor with a bang. You roll your eyes.

“I’m going to bed, help yourselves, and we’ll see if the weather has cleared up in the morning so you can leave without drowning.” With that, you leave them their own devices, grabbing your book, and for good measure and show, your shotgun on your way to the bedroom.

As soon as the door closes behind you, you hear Wade start talking again with the occasional grunt from Logan in response, though trough the wall and with the howling storm it is easy enough to tune out the sounds of two other people in your space so you can fall asleep.

[sweeneydino]

I love love LOVE your Spikeangelo AU it’s so funny and so good!!

TBH I’m foaming @ the mouth to hear more about it. I wanna see more stuff with Titan and Raph cause Raph was already so close to Spike and making him Ronin Mikey adds a whole nother layer to it all and it’s so JUICY and ANGSTY!! Would Titan’s pewpaw nature make him act as more of an older brother figure to Raph? How attached would Titan be over Raph and the 2012 Turtles in general? The 2012 Turtles go through so much trauma ( even without Splinter’s second and final death being canon to your story ) so I can’t imagine that Titan would be pleased with seeing these alternate young versions of he and his brothers go through the fucking WRINGER when he ( probably ) had a strong desire to protect them from the horrors that he himself faced in his original universe.

I’ve been curious too… Raph Brainworm Arc in the Spikeangelo AU….. how does that work out? Especially when in canon it was Slash who kidnapped Raph and held his head in place for the brainworm to drill into his eye / head…….

I can only imagine how Titan would’ve felt about the events of the Fourfold Trap too. Karai ( under the control of a brainworm ) capturing the family and torturing the Turtles individually??? Bruh that must’ve been a NIGHTMARE for him.

Thank you Thank you! I'm glad people enjoy this silly au so much hsbsnwush it makes me feel so proud UvU

I can assure it will get juicer and angstier :))

For the questions, ahem

He lets his Peepaw nature slip out A LOT, lol. He'd def act more as an older brother despite Raph taking care of him as Spike. Spirit of an old man.

He already adopted them gsbsjsu. As soon as he realized how much Raph love him as spike, he was doomed. Also, doomed to get gray scales. 2012 is not nice to these boys 💀

Oh yeah... I definitely got something 😏

It's a bit(huge understatement) different from the canon as Titan is way more experienced than Slash, and more prominent, but the 2012 boys are gonna discover that Splinter isn't the only one holding back >:)

You have to wonder what will this guy has to not kill the shredder immediately, but it might be because someone is still on the fence.

For Karai, I'm not sure if she'd be brainwormed or not, mostly cause I have a few different ideas for how each path goes out... maybe I'll write it out, who knows. Probably not.

This peepaw is not having a good time 😩

[hey-hey-j]

OKOKOKOKOKOKOK SO WE TALKING ABOUT HAIR HCS? I have one I don't think anyone else has but GOD I want more people to have! But you know the haha John hasn't cleaned in a million years or whatever, and I know most I think don't actually believe that but anyway I personally believe he does actually clean semi regularly, same with laundry. But he makes his own soap or literally only gets dishsoap because "if it strong and ok enough to clean Rhonda and food? It's ok for him!" So not PROPERLY washing/cleaning

Anyway I personally believe and HC that John and Clay have the most similar hair. Then again I personally believe Clay has wavy to slightly curly hair but that's me! But I fully believe John's hair is actually wavy it's just he hasn't PROPERLY washed it in SO LONG! But I have this idea of Bruce finding out John uses DISHSOAP to clean himself and him being an amazing brother is NOT letting this continue, so he helps John with proper care and washing and such and after he gets properly cleaned and his hair is dried, it's a bit more poofy and now has noticeable waves! And it kinda took Bruce back because honestly? He completely forgot John and Clay's hair were similar.

Now why do I HC this? A few reasons! 1, I just love it, 2 I like making it so Clay and John seem to look the complete opposite but there's a bunch of small things that make them actually really similar, 3 Clay's concept designs!!! He used to have teal/turquoise hair and to me it just reinforces my HC but uh yeah. I just REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to share this cuz honestly I want others to like this HC too! Or at least think about it cuz I think I'm the only one TvT

no I totally get it! Hair headcanons are so very important to me because I ascribe so much significance to my own hair IRL, as a form of self-expression, as something I have complete control over, as a stim, I just get a lot of catharsis projecting that same importance onto my little guys

so I'm totally with you on the idea that JD probably doesn't take all that good care of his hair, lol. Compared to his brothers, who all have their various extensive hair care routines, and then there's JD, who can't be bothered to care because he'd rather focus on survival. Or so he claims. It's totally not a sign of mental illness, he says, honest!

ooooogh and when you factor in the idea that hair care is Extra Important in troll culture because of how they use their hair as a tool in every day life..... ah.......

thank you for this ask you have successfully given me hair headcanon brainworms 🪱

[ugh-yoongi]

Hi! For the Valentine’s Day drabble I was thinking there’s an office Valentine’s Day party and namjoon and y/n are both single but somehow they end up hooking up in a broom closet. 😭😭

boy oh boy was i glad to get an excuse to write some namjoon porn after this whirlwind of a day! mr. shows up to the office 15 minutes late with starbucks a giant ass hickey on his neck thinking his coworkers wouldn't notice....... hoe behavior.

this is rushed bc i've had brainworms since yoongi's tour announcement, my bad! unedited again bc we die like men.

pairing: namjoon x f. reader

genre: pwp, crack/humor, office au

rating: explicit. minors dni.

warnings: swearing, catboy yoongi agenda, taehyung is a menace, mentions of drug use (weed), reader wears a dress and is a bit of a brat, one (1) spank, fingering, protected sex in an office closet.

wordcount: 1.2k

not taking anymore drabble requests, but feel free to come yell at me about how unhinged this week has been in bts world

(The party had been Taehyung’s idea.

A nice way to break up the afternoon, he’d said, because it wasn’t like Q1 was already slow as it was; wasn’t like you spent most of your workday typing gibberish into empty Word documents to appear busy. Point is: there was no soulless office monotony to break up, Seokjin just hadn’t felt like arguing, so he’d signed off on the Valentine’s Day party without even reading Taehyung’s harebrained proposal.)

“There’s a chocolate fountain in the cafeteria,” Yoongi says, voice bordering on stunned disbelief as he drops into his cubicle next to yours. “It has edible glitter in it.”

“Yeah,” you retort, because there certainly is a chocolate fountain with edible glitter in it in the cafeteria and Seokjin had signed off on it without sparing a second to think. “Taehyung’s idea.”

Yoongi scoffs. “Were the heart-shaped bath bombs his idea too?”

“Haven’t seen those. Where’d he put them?”

“In the toilets. He’s gonna ruin the plumbing. Seokjin’s gonna throw a fucking fit, and we’re accounting, so he’s gonna make it our problem.” Yoongi groans. Plonks his head down on his desk. “I bet he’s gonna cut the Cat Fridays budget to cover the cost.”

“Oh no,” you intone, “not Cat Fridays.”

Yoongi picks his head up only to glare at you. “Fuck off. Some of us need the stress relief.”

“So grow up and smoke weed like an adult, Yoongi.”

“I have asthma, you fucking prick—”

Yoongi’s tirade—which you’re sure was going to be effective and logical and would not, at all, devolve into baseless name-calling—is interrupted by Taehyung, who appears behind you out of nowhere and sprinkles confetti over your and Yoongi’s desks. “Surprise! Party time!”

“Taehyung, I swear to fuck—”

But then Taehyung’s gone, the copious amounts of heart-shaped confetti the only proof he’d been there at all. Your desk neighbor looks murderous, but the lure of the chocolate fountain is strong, especially when there’s little tea cakes, too, so it’s not really a surprise that he nearly bulldozes you into the wall to get there first.

It’s not that you hate Valentine’s Day. You don’t even dislike it, because you actually like those chalky conversation hearts so everyone offloads them onto you, it’s just a little hard to focus when Kim Namjoon strolls in wearing a silk shirt with the top button undone. It’s doubly hard to focus when Jeongguk zeroes in on him immediately, and goes, “What is that?”

You pretend not to hear it, because they can’t suspect you if you don’t react, and a reaction is exactly what Jeongguk is looking for.

“What is what,” Namjoon replies, sounding as nonplussed as ever. You’d buy it, if you didn’t know him as well as you do, but because you do, you know it’s a farce. Any second now he’s going to crack. Sooner, if anyone presses him on it.

You hear someone click their tongue. Maybe Jeongguk, but you aren’t turning around to check. You can already feel how warm your cheeks are; there’s no way you’d be able to hide it.

“That thing on your neck.” Oh, god, that’s Jimin’s voice.

Namjoon chuckles. Acts like this entire conversation is beneath him, and that’s definitely doing something for you. Definitely has you squeezing your thighs together as you stand next to the stupid chocolate fountain, trying to eavesdrop over the mechanical whirring. “I got hurt at the gym last night.”

“The gym,” Jimin repeats, and it’s clear he doesn’t buy it. “And what were you doing at the gym that resulted in a neck injury? You just said the other day you haven’t been working out much.”

“CrossFit.”

“Wait, I’m confused. Were you doing CrossFit or were you at the gym?”

“He was doing CrossFit at the gym. He just said that—”

“No he wasn’t,” Jeongguk argues. “That’s like saying you were doing gym at the gym, it doesn’t make sense—”

You roll your lips to keep from laughing. Look up at seemingly the perfect time, because Namjoon’s already looking at you, gaze all but saying, see what you did? And, yeah, you do—you can see it loud and clear, all the way from the other side of the room, because that dark bruise on his neck is courtesy of you. Roughly three days old, given in the dark of his bedroom after company drinks on Friday.

So you tamper your embarrassment. Shrug a little. Dip a strawberry into Taehyung’s ridiculous chocolate fountain with the edible glitter and stare as you bring it to your mouth, wrap your lips around it. Jimin and Jeongguk are still arguing, and Namjoon is just watching, corners of his mouth quirked up infinitesimally.

Then he gestures to the hallway.

Mouths meet me there.

And you know what that means.

It’s frenzied and hurried from the start. Namjoon’s everywhere and nowhere at once—skimming, pinching, grabbing at every inch of skin he can get his hands on before they disappear, move onto someplace else. “This is gonna have to be quick,” he says, already breathless, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“No shit.”

That earns you a smack on the ass. “Keep this out of the way,” he says, pushing your dress up and over your hips. “See, this is the reason I told you no marks.”

There’s a riposte on the tip of your tongue, something obvious like you weren’t complaining when I was giving it to you, and Namjoon must know this because he pulls your underwear to the side and sinks two fingers into your cunt. Embarrassing, how seamless the slide is; how there’s no friction, just his large fingers pressing insistently on your g-spot.

He groans. Aborts the sound halfway so he doesn’t get the two of you caught. “Love how you’re always so wet for me.”

“Not you,” you retort. “Got really excited about the chocolate fountain.” You can’t see him, considering he’s got you bent over at the waist, but you know he’s rolling his eyes.

“I shouldn’t fuck you at all, since you wanna be a brat.”

“Yeah, I think HR would be inclined to agree—”

He cuts you off with another swat to your ass. Stops touching you only as long as it takes to roll on a condom, and then he’s pressing inside. It’s all heat: Namjoon rolling his hips at a steady pace, careful to be quiet; his fingers immediately moving to rub at your clit, because this definitely has to be quick; him whispering pure filth in that deep voice of his.

You’re teetering on the edge of the quickest orgasm of all time when your blurt out, “Is Yoongi allergic to cats?”

Namjoon just groans again. Pure annoyance. Plays along. Says, “I don’t know, why?”

“Be-because he said he can’t—fuck—smoke weed because he ha-has asthma, but he’s really—oh fuck, I’m gonna come—really scared Seokjin’s gonna—fuuuuuuck—gonna get rid of Cat Fridays.”

Namjoon thrusts harder, reaches deeper. “Will you just shut up and come? Who cares about Yoongi right now—”

Then, because both Yoongi and the universe hate you, there’s a knock on the door. “Really weird you two are in there talking about me while you’re fucking.”

And Namjoon must have some kind of voyeurism kink he hasn’t told you about, because he moans low and spills into the condom.

[hisaacswrites]

Brainworm #3 - Body Image

Ghost is built.

That’s not a question or up for any debate- Ghost is 193 cm of solid mass and brute strength. He’s a bulky boy with the skill to use it to his advantage. He’s built thick and sturdy, his muscles deceptively hidden by a layer of protective fat that have people underestimating his speed, agility, and strength. He’s a sniper, yes, but he needs to be able to transport his gear, to move equipment and information and targets, to carry his team on his back (literally) out of a war zone if necessary.

So yeah, Ghost is built.

But he’s not built like Johnny.

Johnny who has no shame in his body, taking off his shirt at the slightest inconvenience (Ghost isn’t sure if he believes the “overheating” excuse anymore). Johnny who is built but also cut, every muscle defined and on tantalizing display. Johnny is shorter that Ghost is, sure, but he’s no less strong, no less able. His pecs are sculpted, not presenting as some sort of… uni-boob in shirts like Ghost’s do. His waist is trim, the shape drawing the eye in and down, not like the thick column of Ghost’s own that spills over his waistband when he sits. And his thighs- Ghost could die happily between those thighs- the carved lines of muscle looking like they were painstakingly crafted by Michelangelo himself, unlike the stocky build of his own that press embarrassingly tight into the seams of every pair of trousers that he owns.

Ghost knows he’s not built like Johnny, and it was fine, it would have been fine, but now that they’re together and not just Lieutenant and Sargeant, Ghost and Soap, but Simon and Johnny, now that Ghost gets to see every inch of that beautiful tanned skin almost every single day-

Now Ghost knows just how he stacks up against Johnny. He knew that he didn’t bring much to the table, mental, physical, and emotional traumatic baggage notwithstanding, but he had hoped he could at least offer this…

So, yeah.

Ghost is not built like Johnny.

And it torments him to see exactly how much he’s lacking.

—————

Soap is built.

He knows it, his team knows it, everyone on base knows it. Soap did not work, does not work, this hard for his physique not to flaunt it. He has a carefully maintained workout routine and monitored macros to ensure he’s in optimal shape- his body is a palace, and he treats it as such (job allowing). Every muscle group is carefully cultivated, grown and shaped so that none overshadows the other. He may be shorter than most of the hulking giants on base, he may be considered stocky, but one look at Soap’s physique proves that he’s no less capable than them. He’s proved it on the mats while sparring, he’s proved it in the training fields going toe to toe with the younger recruits, and he’s proved it out in the field in hand to hand combat, time and time and time again.

So yeah, Soap is built.

But he’s not built like Simon.

Simon who is tall and imposing and authoritative, commanding a room with just his presence alone. Simon who is built solid, built for strength, not just pretty like Soap and every other gym bro on base. No one questions Simon’s strength or ability- his body alone makes it clear, unlike Soap who has to defend himself in words and actions again and again and again. His arms are like solid bands, near impossible to escape from, unlike Soap’s who has to leverage his smaller size to outmaneuver his opponent. His chest and stomach are thick, supporting a strong core that can body slam an attacker with ease, while Soap’s own abs can get him through PT tests fine, but need constant additional training for practical field work. And his ass. God, Simon’s ass. Full and plush, filling out every pair of trousers that he owns in the most sinfully distracting way, the exact opposite of Soap’s defined(!!!), but largely flat, behind.

Soap knows he’s not built like Simon, okay? And despite his best efforts, he hasn’t been able to achieve the mass and heft and sturdiness that Simon has. Because now they’re Simon and Johnny, and he’s blessed to see Simon unmasked (and unclothed) almost every day, and he gets to press into the plush softness of Simon’s flesh unrestricted, gets to surround himself in the unquestioning strength and safety Simon’s body exudes-

Because that’s how Simon makes him feel. Safe. Safe to survive, safe to try, safe to be.

And Soap faces his downfalls every day. Because he’s not built like Simon and Simon gives him everything, is everything, and he just wants to be able to give a fraction back to the man who deserves so so much, even if it’s just his body-

Because, God, he just wants to be worth Simon.

—-

Another brainworm I’m so sorry. I’m just going through all my notes at this rate, clearing out the trash and drabbling on about the ones I like.

Another near and dear one because men face self-image insecurities as well, especially in traditionally hyper masculine settings like the military. I’ve known people on both sides, guys who are thick and guys who are absolutely shredded, and they all have body insecurities for different reasons.

So, another drabble.

This came off a bit more angsty than I anticipated. I have a short multi-chaptered fic vaguely planned with a deeper dive into both Soap and Ghost’s body image insecurities and some good good communication and reaffirming, comforting, body loving intimacy, but until I have the time I figured I’d offer up this brainworm drabble instead.

When I get closer to finishing Bake Room in your Heart for Me, I’ll maybe put out a poll so people can vote on which brainworm I work on next.

[cripplingoptimism]

Distractions [3/3]

Gonna wrap this up in 3 parts. Previous here.

Yo, WHAT was happening on Twitter this week?? Every time I opened the app there was a new analysis of the Goddamn couch scene. I didn't think Trigun could hurt me any more and yet here I am in a new spiral over an internet stranger's hot take.

Anywaaaaay, I've had this brainworm way before whatever angst got a hold of Twitter. I've always interpreted Vash and Wolfwood’s relationship as 'right people, wrong time'. But honestly, I love every interpretation of them - platonic, soulmates, lovers, etc. So, through these comics I wanted to show moments during their journey that conveyed the gradual evolution of their relationship (as I head cannon it lmao). Canonically, Vash never gets to tell Wolfwood how he feels and my poor little heart has been in denial about that ever since. So this is my *slight* rewriting of the series of events leading up to Wolfwood's solo journey.

At this point in the manga (ch. 50) I wanted to show that, despite the 7 month time skip, it's like no time has passed between them. They're still comfortable and casual with each other, still seeking the comfort of distractions - Neither of them wanting to shatter the illusion of normalcy in this moment. And I feel Vash would be the first to ask for more when reality comes knocking (through Wolfwood's fist lol).

He knows, even in a best-case scenario, his time with Wolfwood is limited. And while Vash is just as shackled by duty and guilt as Wolfwood, he carries an optimism about him that Wolfwood lacks. He needs Woolfwood to know how he feels so he can live without regret, regardless of the outcome. As such, he takes the leap. Wolfwood, unfortunately, cannot bring himself to share in that optimism. He’s too absorbed in worry about the orphanage, the children and especially Livio. His heart is screaming at him, but he knows he can’t afford to be distracted by his “selfish” desires. So, he rejects Vash by being realistic and hopes he can see that he wants this too, but just can't bear the impending heartbreak due to their circumstances. Vash does see this. He swallows his disappointment and heartbreak, earnestly grateful for the relationship he still has with Wolfwood.

I know my characterization feels like it conflicts with the moment on the couch; Vash can't even look at Wolfwood for that entire scene despite Wolfwood being the one to try and connect with him ("You look better...when you smile."). However, I never saw that moment as Vash rejecting Wolfwood. Not in the traditional sense at least (maybe an inadvertent rejection). Vash wanted more between them (to share his tomorrows), but not like this - not as a deathbed confession. He's heartbroken and grieving and (somewhat selfishly) can't see that Wolfwood just wants to enjoy his last moments with the one person on this planet he can call an equal and a friend.

Speaking of the dreaded couch scene, I don't think I can add anything new to the discourse, but I will say the tragedy for me really lies in all the emotions Wolfwood goes through:

Being at peace with his death ("This is the way you want it?" "Yeah."). It's what he believed he deserved, with all the blood on his hands, and the mutation of his body, he assumed he could never return to his previous life with everyone at the orphanage.

Grieving for his future (confetti). Wolfwood never believed he could be forgiven. The children celebrating his return showed their acceptance of him, welcoming him back regardless of his sins. He was worthy of forgiveness. His guilt prevented him from even entertaining the thought of forgiving himself. There must have been regret in those tears.

Seeking comfort from the one person he grew to truly trust and Vash not being strong enough to give it. I already mentioned this above, but Vash not even being able to look at Wolfwood throughout the entire couch scene tears me up.

From the narrative's perspective, Wolfwood needed to die. And even knowing that, it still absolutely destroyed me (and still does). Not just because he died, but because right before his death, he was given a glimmer of hope - that had he survived the fight with Livio, he would have had a chance at happiness.

Last side note here: I've seen discourse online explaining the entire scene is a metaphor for a wedding and I just wanna say, you'll be hearing from my therapist.

[jjs-brainrot]

Alright, with one exception, I've pretty much got my actual watch list for the Summer 2024 anime season figured out. So here's my rankings for them based on first episodes

S-Tier (I already read the source material)

Spice and Wolf: Merchant Meets The Wise Wolf (continuation): Hell yeah, more Spice and Wolf!

Sengoku Youko (continuation): (to be aired still but it's going here anyways so *shrug*)

A-Tier (sold on it in 1 episode)

Mayonaka Punch: Hell yeah I'm onboard for a Vampire girl that's desperate for some cancelled youtuberussy!

VTuber Legend: An anime about VTubers that actually understands just how unhinged it needs to be to properly convey how insane the VTuber scene is? Hell yeah sign me up!

B-Tier (strong start but I need a few more episodes to lock it in)

The Fable (continuation) : Hell yeah more The Fable!

Oshi no Ko (Continuation): Still trucking along as Oshi no Ko.

Plus-Sized Elf: loses some points for being half episodes but hell yeah uncensored bbw elf tits!

Dungeon People: Cozy dungeon management anime! Seems like it'll be the chill show for this season.

Quality Assurance in Another World: QA tester video game isekai! Honestly way more interesting then I was expecting from the concept. Def interested in more.

C-Tier (rough start but has some promise)

Narenare: First episode felt messy but hopefully it gets better? Need to know why the parkour girl is like that…

My Deer Friend Nokotan: Kinda felt like it was trying way too hard with a lot of its gags, but I'll stick with it for the transgenDEER yuri.

D-Tier (I'll stick it out but they're on thin ice)

Nothing

F-Tier (lol, no.)

Nothing

DNF (Could be good, could be bad, but my brainworms stopped me from finishing episode 1)

Nothing