#yeah that's all folks :3

[kkatastrophic]

Spotify Wrapped 2020 - present

Okay let's judge my spotify wrappeds one at a time, I started Spotify in 2020, so I'll start there ig... I was just a kid and had some cringe ass music on my roster... thanks roblox/minecraft/social media influence in general!!!

Okay 2020...

Dua Lipa - I was totally a big fan of that song help idk why???

NOT THE PERCY JACKSON PHASE *crying*

Spice girls... *sobbing into my pillow - I GREW UP ON MY MUMS MUSIC TASTE ALRIGHT? -

Heart Attack - This song gives me a heart attack every time it's played...

ROXANNE IS A BANGER STILL, IDC IT'S STILL A BANGER!

Pitch Perfect? I was a very silly kid :3

No fuck fuck fuck the evidence is there I'm so scared

I used to unironically listen to Not Your Barbie Girl by Ava Max because of Tiktok POVS and stuff...

9. Sorry Not Sorry - Erm okay girlboss???

10. Don't Call me Up - It's actually a pretty good song tbh like ngl...

11. ... I WASN'T EVEN A HARRY POTTER FAN? HOW DID THIS GET ON HERE?!

12. No why are the Pitch Perfect songs still here...

13. Same as last, save me...

14. OOH EDGY BILLIE EILISH OMG SHIVER ME TIMBAS SCAWWYY!

15. I.. used to listen to this unironically... and vibe to it... never gonna give you *gets fucking shot on site*

16. I HATE THIS STUPID SONG, I AM NOT A SUCKER FOR IT EW WHAT THE FU-

17. "I PUT YOU INNNN PUT YOU INNN PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE!!!" *headboppable backing track plays*

Erm okay so I've seen enough because there's 100 songs here what the sigma flip.

2021!

How is this my top song I CANNOT STAND IT HELP OMFG DRIVERS LISCENCE I HATE THE SONG???

Random Maretu song insert? Oh my god I had just started watching anime around then too...

I HATE THAT STUPID SHUT UP AND DANCE SONG THAT STUPID LADY IN THE STUPID MUSIC VIDEO WAS PROBABLY MY GAY AWAKENING (<- I'm straight at the moment but was once very indecisive about my sexuality)

4. Billie Eilish again, okay edgy girl...

5. I USED TO CRY TO THIS SONG BECAUSE OF THE ADOPT ME POVS??? "Loving you is a losing game!!!" <- *jumps off adopt me bridge because her pet ran away or smth*

6. Okay I actually enjoyed Melanie Martinez as a kid??? That's actually cool. BIG FLEX!!!

7. Why was I so edgy... Roar? OH MY GOD THIS SONG GIVES ME WAR FLASHBACKS I CAN SING ALL OF IT- I GET TIRED AND I GET SICK AND I LOSE THE STRENGTH TO MOVE I CAN'T HANDLE CHANGE I CAN'T HANDLE CHANGE

8. Lady Gaga is an icon stfu if you don't think so she devours every tiktok trend her song becomes.

SPECIAL MENTION TO THE CRANBERRIES FOR MAKING IT ON THE LIST!!! And the Imposter Interceptible song "I found a body beside the reactor"

Gacha kid confirmed moment.

WRAP ME IN PLASTIC AND MAKE ME SHINE!!! I was a victim of those ROBLOX Piggy edits...

AIGHT 2022!!!

I think this song is fire but I listened to it too much... Kinneret ILYSM ur so cool babes

MITSKI OMG I LOVE MITSKI!!!

Girl in Red... oh my god *sobs uncontrollably* I still love this song tbh.

BA-BA-BACK STABBER!!! Yeah gacha kid from 2018 and I'm admitting it...

GIRL IN RED AGAIN???

Oh my god... MICHELLLEEEE MICHELLLLEE YOU ARE A MONSTER FROM HEEEE-EEE-EEELLL!

Augh clairo my beloved ur so cool

I know all the words to this song guys...

AND NOW TO MY 2022 GACHA PHASE, RIP I NEVER MISSED YOU

I'm not getting into this shit bro...

2023!

So the only reason some of these songs are here... because I made this like, one hour playlist that I had on loop every single day for a couple of weeks. RIP-

I LISTENED TO I WANNA BE YOURS 57 TIMES LAST YEAR WHAT THE FU-

I loved this song sm, I love you Lana.

I had an MM2 playlist, and I played to these songs

same as last...

VOID! Augh this song was so special to me...

Lady gaga makes a comeback on my wrapped?

LANA MY BELOVED LANA! I love this song sm as well!

Special mention to this one minute song of Mondo's execution making it to 71st, beating 3 of my favourite bands, and my favourite Lana song. That's fucking crazy bro...

Present Day:

For your information, my music taste changes every 5 minutes... so I don't listen to all of these songs anymore. I was a cringe kid with minecraft parody songs making it to the top 100... yikes.

For your information, these are my more current liked songs... yes I listen to Kanye... no I do not support his actions... can I just say special mention to Ayesha Erotica, I did listen to her music and have since 2021. (I know that specifically because Literal Legend connected from my headphones to the family care bluetooth on an 8 hour roadtrip with my parents and sister... #original experience?)

Yeah that's all bye :3

[cheekylittlepupp]

And of course, the kneeling one.

[v-poreons]

ERMM.... trollsona posting.... Firefly my absolute beloved. She is me fr. Cant believe I haven't shared her here yet

[casualavocados]

It didn't make sense to me how we could connect to each other. At first I thought it was like the Warder bond. But then I realized that you can see our weaves, too. You feel it when I channel because we're linked. We're the same. You sul'dam are just so weak in the Power, the Searchers didn't find you. ...The first rule. You cannot hurt your sul'dam.

Madeleine Madden as EGWENE AL'VERE THE WHEEL OF TIME 2.08 | What Was Meant To Be

[froqpi-art]

haha funny skating game go brrr

[seawing-vibes]

First batch of Artfight attacks done!! Off to a good start so far so I’m hoping to keep up this pace as we go further in :) ! In order these attacks are for Lightsky (on Artfight) , @/drippywing , (my character <3) - @/qualsly - @/boilompiz , and @/cinnamon-flame !!!

Im Panddion on Artfight if anyone wants to check out my profile <3 !!

[angeart]

hhau rescue rambles - part II

>> part I here // hhau masterpost here <<

The hermits are here to take Scar home but Grian is gone and Scar can’t leave without him, even if the others would promise to look for him. (They won’t find him, they won’t, they won’t. Scar knows how vast these forests are. He knows how many hiding spots there are tucked away if one knows where to look.) (They don’t know where to look.)

They’re not listening to him. He’s half-feral and panicked and desperate, barely making any sense. He keeps saying he needs to find Grian, but he looks half-crazed, clothes stained by a huge amount of blood and—

If it looks, a little bit, like he’s just in frenzied denial of some grief? That maybe something happened and Grian isn’t here anymore? The world is permadeath, after all. The rescue party isn’t sure what to think.

Of course they promise to look for Grian. Of course they’ll try. But first, let’s get you somewhere safe, Scar.

Scar panics and backs away and says he isn’t going anywhere until they find Grian. He’s so so afraid they’ll take him away and he’ll never find him. (He keeps imagining that wretched scream he heard that very first day he found Grian, a year ago. How close of a call that was.) (He thinks of finding him after the mimic incident, barely surviving. Wounded and bloodied and ready to collapse.) (He thinks of Grian sobbing as he begs Scar to never leave him again.)

He can’t leave him behind. He can’t.

He won’t.

He’s done everything he can up to this point and if this is his last fight? Then damn it, he’s going to go out swinging. He is going to find Grian. Even if he has to fight his saviours. (They’re enemies if they’re trying to separate him and Grian—) 

He growls and lashes out and his vex magic comes through. The hermits are stunned and a little bit afraid and a whole lot confused. They’ve never seen him like this, hair white and claws ready to tear. (Cub, especially, is terrified of this development. Knowing that if Scar pushes himself too far in his vex form, he could die.) 

They try to placate him, calm him down, reassure him. They try to get the damn teleportation bracelet on him. They keep telling him they can take him home, it’s okay, Scar, it’s okay.

It’s not okay.

He isn’t leaving without Grian, and he isn’t trusting anyone else with this.

So he runs.

He runs from his friends—from people he loves with all his heart; people he thought he’ll never see again. Runs from the promise of home and safety and this hell being finally over. 

He runs, because he can’t take the salvation if he can’t share it with Grian.

Everything’s a bit of a blur as he rushes through the forest, looking for something to tell him where Grian is. He’s fully in his vex form, senses sharp and heart panicked, calling out, desperate for Grian to reply. 

There’s no answer.

Scar sees it, then: a handful of ripped-out feathers and blood.

His heart jumps into his throat, but he laser-focuses and starts following the trail. The world feels askew around him, his steps urgent, his breaths hovering near growls that want to threaten the whole forest if anything dares to hurt Grian more. (He hopes Grian’s still out there.) (He has to be. He has to be—) (Why is he not replying to Scar’s calls, then?)

Scar’s aware that if he can follow the trail of blood, so can others. He needs to be better than them. Faster. (He needs to be a better hunter than them.) He knows that if he’s following the trail now, maybe someone already followed it. (He tries not to let that thought in. That he might be too late.) 

He’s trailed by the hermit rescue party. They scramble in his wake, trying not to lose him. They lag behind, losing sight of him, but Cub staggers to follow his vex bond with Scar, like a tether, trying to hold down the swell of warning anxiety at the fact that Scar is in his vex form. Scar looks feral, he lashed out and ran from them, clothes stained by blood and hair white—

Them following just makes Scar feel hunted. His instincts go haywire and put him more on edge. 

He keeps going.

He keeps calling out, too. Uncaring that he’s attracting every hunter in the vicinity. He can take them. He will happily attract them to himself if that means they won’t go after Grian instead. (The fact that he’s searching for Grian gets a bit tangled up in him. The fact that if he succeeds, he’ll just be bringing the hunters to Grian fails to quite register. He’s not thinking very straight.)

Hermits hear those wails, echoing through the forest. He sounds like a wandering spirit. 

Inhuman. 

Lost.

 --

Grian is hurt. Hand pressed against the spot on his side that bleeds, he sits curled up, pressing himself into some bushes for a moment of reprieve—just a moment, just a little bit, please, please.

He hears Scar’s calls from far away. He hears them, and his heart tears itself to pieces.

He is terrified and hurting, and it feels dangerously close to a despair-filled memory.

 He tries to shield himself from it. There’s a reason he ran. There’s a reason why Scar should stay away from him. He can’t— He shouldn’t— He—

Scar draws closer. Grian can hear his sobbing and heaving. His pleading, so heartrendingly desperate. “Grian please. Grian answer me.”

Grian finds himself cautiously standing up, every muscle taut. His heart is rabbity fast, fear clogging his throat. 

He doesn’t mean to answer. He really, really doesn’t mean to. (He needs to keep Scar away.) Yet a distressed chirp slips through anyway, like a terrified call, begging for Scar.

The sound of it pitches something in Scar. His sobbing changes to panic and dwindling hopefulness. “Grian…?”

There’s a tinier chirp then. Scared. Still involuntary.

Grian is so so afraid and he should know better, but a part of him is desperate for Scar.

The moment he sees Scar, though, the futility rips through him. No. He isn’t meant to— Scar shouldn’t be near him. Because Grian’s been gone so shortly and yet the hunters have already found him. He’s already gotten hurt. He is a beacon.

He can’t stay near Scar. It’ll get Scar hurt. 

It’ll get Scar killed.

(Everything good that stays near Grian dies—)

He needs to get away from him.

He backs away. Tells Scar, in a wobbly voice, not to approach.

Scar doesn’t care. He needs to get to Grian. He needs to get to him, they can go home, this can all be over. 

Running on some faulty reasoning, Grian tries to get away. It’s useless, he is in no state to outrun Scar—he can’t bring himself to fly and he’s bleeding, dizzy on panic—but he feels like he needs to try, anyway. 

His feet feel heavy beneath him, the world unsteady. Scar is behind him and Grian’s heart begs him to stop, turn around, and burrow into his arms. (He can’t he can’t he can’t—)

It takes only a couple of steps for Grian to trip over some roots, the world as cruel to him as ever, sending him plummeting harshly down in a rough tumble of leaves and limbs and feathers. A pained, fearful yelp gets punched out of him on impact.

Scar’s next to him in an instant, kneeling down and gathering him in his arms. Crying as he buries Grian in a hug, terrified he might try to run again. Frantically telling him, “Grian, it’s over, it’s over, we can go home— Please—”

Grian’s sobbing against him, held in place, unable to understand what Scar is saying. He just wants Scar to get away from him and stay safe. (Grian can’t be safe. He’s been doomed from the start. He’s been doomed this whole time.) (He’ll end up like that bird. Dead, with wings ripped off—)

The words “it’s over” mean nothing to him. All he manages to choke out is, “There is no— There’s no home anymore.” They’ve had their safety ripped away from them over and over again. They’ve been showed that they can’t have a home anymore; this world will not allow it. Nowhere is safe. Nowhere is safe, as long as Grian’s wings are bright violet and attached to his spine. 

Scar insists, a series of reassurances, words tripping over each other as he tries to keep his hold on his voice. He says they’ll be okay. He says they don’t have to run anymore. Please, Grian, we can go home.

But it’s not a concept that exists anymore for Grian; it refuses to register in his mind, words sliding right off him, incoherent.

What he knows is this: he failed to protect Scar, and they don’t have a home to go back to, and Grian is sure the hunters are about to show up, any second. He’s so tired and terrified, and he needs Scar to be shielded from this fate. He needs him to be safe.

Scar isn’t letting go of him. His grip is firm as he continues to plead with Grian. He doesn’t want to be rough, he’s never been forceful with Grian, but he can’t let go now. Even as Grian paws at him and tries to push him away. 

Grian’s crying so hard; his efforts to get free are all frantic and urgent, yet half-hearted. (He wants to give in and bury himself in the protectiveness of Scar’s arms.) (He wants all of Scar’s promises to be true.)

And yet something tips askew.

Because Scar’s never been forceful with Grian.

He was always so gentle. He’d never grab him like this, with so much force. So much insistence.

Grian is hit with a dizzying, nauseating thought. Is this a trap? Is this a mimic?

Grian starts chirping. More of those distressed, scared noises as he can't get free of Scar's grip.

It’s the first time ever that Scar won’t heed Grian’s requests to be let go. Not even if Grian says it hurts. He won’t let go he won’t he won’t. He’ll drag him home if he has to.

Grian’s scared and confused, all his thoughts are jumbled, running on rampant trauma responses and unadulterated panic. He can’t deal with any of this. He keeps trying to wrangle free and push Scar away (is it even Scar???), begging him to let go, but it’s so horribly weak. It’s almost nothing. He just chokes on sobs and hyperventilates. (He feels caught.) (He feels like Scar will get killed because of him.) (He doesn’t know what’s happening.)

It’s awful. It’s wrong. It’s— It’s not what it’s meant to be. 

This should be easy. This should be the best day ever! They can go home! 

Instead, it’s like a panicked final showdown and Scar feels like it’s him against everyone. The hermits weren’t listening to him (Grian needs him, he needs him, he needs him), and now Grian isn’t listening to him either. (He can’t comprehend what Scar’s saying at all, and isn’t that so heartbreaking?) (Scar is desperate to get through to him. To calm him down enough so that this could be anything more than Scar forcefully holding him as Grian chokes on panic.) (The kind of panic he should never feel in Scar’s arms—)

Voice breaking, Scar pleads, over and over again. Please, Grian. Please. It’s okay. It’s okay, we can go home, we’ll be alright. It’s me. It’s me, I got you, we’re gonna be safe.

It’s the kiss he presses to Grian’s hair that tips the scales a little, just enough for Grian’s chirps to mute, his sobbing drifting off into softer cries. He goes limp under the affection, still terrified, still trembling and choking on air, but now he’s pressing himself against Scar instead of trying to get free. 

“G, do you understand what I’m saying?” Scar begs in a wavering voice, unbecoming of his feral appearance. He holds onto the magic prickling along his skin, alert for any sort of danger, anything that so much as tries to approach and hurt Grian. His hands are still clawed. His hair is still white. His veins are still stuffed with unending desperation. 

Nothing is over yet. 

It should be. It should be, but it isn’t.

Not yet, not yet.

 The hunters find them before the hermits do.

-- part III here

[angel-archivist]

It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.

The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.

The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.

The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.

The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?

[boltlightning]

ao3 wrapped

hey. i posted 112,888 words on ao3 this year and just wanted to share some snippets i'm proud of among those :)

from any means:

“Then there is still mercy in the world, bitter as it may be,” Norrington says. He finally lifts his head and finds the courage to meet her eyes, then further emboldened, he raises his hand to brush her cheek. The blood is so jarring in the light. He settles on running his thumb over the line of her jaw. “Elizabeth. How can I fix this?” “You already know,” she says softly. “Let go, Atlas.” How can she ask that, knowing how many times he had let her go? Once more will kill him.

from angle of incidence:

She was right. Shera was always right. And he had brought his lance, but then the Bronco had crashed and broken her wings and they sailed to the Northern Continent for the first time since that fateful journey with Ifalna, and Cid was so caught up in following Aerith he had left the damn ship-boat without preparing properly and now here he stands, at a loss again. He wants to see Ifalna again, sure — but when it is his time. Shera deserves better than his running off and dying, trying to save the world without his damn weapon. She would be so disappointed.

from the dance we dance:

But James is on his knees, and his lips are already against her skin, and his eyes are asking something, and, and, and… And Elizabeth knows James. And she does not love him. But she could be surprised.

two, from so hunts the shrike:

Elizabeth pauses, and Norrington pauses, and they both stand stiff in the silence. “James…about last night. We need not burn down the world about it. Carry no regret in that noble heart of yours.” Norrington lets out a long breath, looking aside to watch the shadows dance on the wall. “I mostly wonder if you do. Regret it, that is,” he says, before he can stop the words from leaving his mouth. He is truly God’s greatest fool. He risks a glance back. Elizabeth wears a thoughtful expression, says only, “No, I don’t think I do,” and steps towards the kitchen.

Gallier holds up a hand to halt his army. They stop on the opposite bank of a wide, shallow, slow-crawling stream, the toes of Gallier’s fine boots brushing the water. It is a poor excuse for a Rubicon, but some battlefields cannot be chosen.

and from landfall:

In all his years at sea, Norrington had fallen overboard only once, as a child on campaign with his father. He remembers little of the actual event — only the way fear consumed his every function, even that of his lungs, a process so automatic he did not know it could stop, drowning and drowning him. Well after he had been fished out of the sea did his cough linger, and his mother insisted the ordeal left a mote of cold in chest, one that young James carried every day since. It has been many years since, years of camaraderie and valor that had seared the cold away. Yet now a reprisal of dread darts through him now, verglas over his lungs and heart. He is not afraid to die, had accepted it as a hazard of service, had steeled himself to the possibility the moment he stepped into his first commission. But — God and King forgive him — he does not want to. He does not want to die. Just this week Elizabeth Swann fell from a similar height and survived unscathed but for a brush with drowning herself. Hurtling towards the silver mirror pane of the ocean at such velocity, Norrington does not imagine he will drown: he will merely shatter.

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is getting so fucking tired of people using the fact that there's a queer romance in something as a reason you should watch it. like haven't allos had enough of romance? queer or otherwise? I'm not saying queer representation is bad, of course, I'm just fed up with asking what a book is about and in response all I get is "oh it has queer people in it" cool! what is it about? having queer representation is not the be all end all of media can we please have ONE thing without romance in it. please.

.

[not-poignant]

wait okay so now that you're seriously thinking of publishing, will you be writing a new prequel to game theory with the new 'Canon'? like the story as it's meant to have happened between gwyn, augus, terho and the nightingale, or are we just starting from game theory?

ALSO I'm so glad that you might be publishing the ftv soon for wholly selfish reasons -- you're clearly done writing about these characters, but personally I am nowhere near done reading about them, and I'm definitely not creative enough to write fanfiction myself either, so I'm just stuck rotating the characters inside my head like a microwave😭😭 it's really tough out here!!!

imagine the massive wave of new readers and the new community that's gonna come in once the story's more accessible... IT'S SO EXCITING

Hi anon!

No prequel, I'll be starting with Game Theory (and Deeper into the Woods will be published afterwards as a prequel, just as it was chronologically in general!)

Quite a bit of Game Theory is being edited and new content being added (anyone on the Gary & Efnisien tier can already see about 2,000 words of new content in the first three chapters alone, including new scene/s with Crielle), and some content being removed where it's OOC. The events with Terho and the Nightingale will be explained in Game Theory, with Gwyn likely meeting with Terho (or learning about him) a few times within.

As for Fae Tales, you know, it's nice to think there will be some new readers, and there might be like a handful or two, but there will be no massive wave. It is the least popular thing I've written in proportion to the amount of time I've put into it. Even the AUs have all generally done better proportionately.

It's one of the reasons I've never rushed to publish, honestly. It's a lot of work to put into something that you know will never financially justify itself. To the point where I think other projects are far more viable financially (Underline the Rainbow as a series I actually think would be great, because new, meaty omegaverse has a very intense (though small) fanbase and I think that series would bring more people in).

There would be no massive wave of new readers. I think we'd be lucky to see at most about 10 or 20 new folks, and I'll cherish everyone, but I'm also pretty realistic. More people find all my other works these days than Fae Tales, The Ice Plague is still one of the worst performing things I've written in proportion to length + time + work investment (despite being one of my favourite series out of anything I've written).

I think I'm realistic, and I also think there's a chance that the Fae Tales Verse if published could draw some haters. Most people don't want that level of BDSM in their epic fantasy, unless it's much lighter 'romantasy,' which Fae Tales definitely isn't. There's even a chance I might get my KDP author account suspended because of breaching content TOS/violations.

So yeah, it's a risk, but I'll take it. It's just not a risk I'm prioritising right now, because I can't see a way that the Fae Tales Verse will ever really go that far. Hand on heart, way more people who come over from my fanfiction find Falling Falling Stars and Underline and almost no one (with maybe a few exceptions - I love y'all) goes into the canon these days unless they're older / long-time readers.

[telesodalite]

I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...

[bacchuschucklefuck]

since more of like the class swap etc started going up every once in a while there will be a question in my inbox that would take me literally multiple comics' worth of art to answer adequately lol. and I don't wanna do that under an ask I want that to have its own space! so if I don't answer ur question know that it's probably that^ above there and not that I think ur question sucks

[leah2eroes]

"european trans women on this site talking about their petty little problems with "transmisogynists" like. fucking excuse me???? im a TRANS MAN living in AMERICA do you even give a shit about the shit thats happening over here??? you are NOT allowed to voice ANY of your lived experiences if i decide that they make ME look bad!!! this is INFIGHTING! this is MISANDRY!! now is NOT the time for you fucking evil tra- uh.,, trans radfems, to be WHINING about how we 'oppress you'. we don't. now shut up and let the MEN talk."

-actual post i saw on my tl just now (obviously paraphrased with key subtext lol)

[seawing-vibes]

Some images of my Tsu plush from Creep Cat Toy Co. !!! I love her lots one of my fav plushes <3 !! Her glow spots are glow-in-the-dark fabric ,, its super neat !

[bsotted]

ok well. unfortunate news: sometimes ur niche is so niche u've already niched the niche. this is exactly the same as the feeling of hitting the end of ur ship tag in ao3 🥲

*edit: sorry i accidentally named like every character ever in the tags so ppl are Seeing this post who dont have the benefit of so much as a single crumb of context. if i accidentally namedropped ur blorbo its bc of this post:

anyway. i was excited for recs bc i also enjoy this genre of fictional character. unfortunately as above the niche is niched, it turns out. at least for me, content enjoyer georg, who has apparently already seen or read everything anyone else has already seen or read except for a small handful of specific media properties that i do not wish to see or read for various personal reasons and also not literally everything ever... just the same things as everyone else has already seen and read... u get the idea. ok thnks 👍🏻