#yeah so this is what i worked on instead of the episode 46 no spoiler meme review

[new-haven-psych-ward]

great news: the brainrot's terminal

special thanks to my sibling for providing the english translation

[highly-flammable]

Reacting to Legacies 3x03 (SPOILERS):

1. So ARE we FINALLY getting to some proper firstborn Mikaelson witch breakdowns?

2. Oh well, apparently no. They'll just try to wave it off as some one time thing probably.

3. So Hope and Landon are on a break. Okay. TBH watching them sass each other is interesting.

4. The guidance counselor is pretty much a compulsion monster, is that it? Well, I do like his wardrobe.

5. Alyssa's concern for MG is so fake I can't.

6. Nobody other than Jed read for Stefan? THE DISRESPECT.

7. Lizzie playing Caroline makes total sense but them asking Josie to play the lead without even an audition looks a bit bad TBH. Like, give the other interested people a chance, at least.

8. I find it a bit repetitive how there are mind-controlling monsters popping out again and again.

9. So MG is basically going through a phase similar to what Cami was going through when Klaus used to compel her at the beginning of TO. Considering Quincy's fondness for Cami, he must have liked playing that.

10. I understand that Landon is supposed to be a capable songwriter in-universe but it takes more than that to write and direct a musical and it's very weird that they didn't even find a guest star to pose as a Drama or English teacher who is guiding him or something. WHERE ARE ALL THE TEACHERS?

11. I kinda feel like some of the lead characters in this show are colour-coded. I see Hope and Landon in red and blue a lot (the two gowns we have seen Hope wearing also fall into this pattern) and Josie wears yellow in like, every other episode. If I recall correctly, Lizzie wears a lot of white, too. I wonder what the reasoning behind these choices are.

12. Well, I liked Hope and Landon's relationship in S1, I have no idea what was going on with it in S2, and I still don't know what to think about it.

13. Lizzie casts herself in Caroline's role and then chokes at rehearsal. Not totally unrealistic but still feels a bit forced to me. Would have been better if Landon cast her because she's Caroline's daughter and Lizzie was a bit apprehensive in the first place because she didn't want to mess up the role.

14. I appreciate the show taking a moment to talk about Lizzie's bipolar disorder though. It's been a while.

15. "Bonnie just disappears for long periods of time"? Dude, she's still super important and you're putting her in the play. Right? RIGHT?!

16. Landon, THANK YOU for pointing out how weird Caroline and Alaric's relationship was. The guy deadass got engaged to her and had a pissing contest over her with Stefan, that will never not gross me out.

17. So the monster is mind controlling Landon to put Klaus into the play. Saw this coming IG.

18. Hope is painting again, like her dad used to do when he felt things were going out of control. I've been rewatching TO and this is making me so emotional. I MISS KLAUS AND HIS SHENANIGANS. And not a single character on Legacies comes close to Klaus, Elijah and Hayley for me. (Sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings but Legacies really is a downgrade from TVD and TO)

19. Ugh, why would he use the contents of the letter as lyrics? Dude, is it because you're mind-controlled? No, I don't like this. Klaus loved Hope to the ends of the earth and wanted everyone to know but Hope wants to keep things private, and her wishes should have been respected.

20. So apparently Landon tries not to put Klaus' villainous antics into the show. Well, okay, it's definitely a copout but since he is Hope's boyfriend, makes sense. But I don't understand why the musical HAS TO BE about the Salvatore school. The accreditation excuse is lazy, writers! Also, Landon, my dude, Klaus was a major donor of the school. Put that in instead of the other things, stop pissing off your girlfriend FFS. Even if you're mind-controlled 🤦🏻‍♀️

21. I do find it funny how Landon is all gaga over Klaus' use of language though. The guy really did have the best lines, didn't he? (Tied with Elijah, I suppose, for me)

22. The other singers of the first song are really good so Kaylee sounds a bit rusty in comparison. Also, she reminds me too much of Dark!Josie with the hair and makeup. From a distance, she can be mistaken for Nina though.

23. I love that the backstage activities are being shown.

24. I'm digging Jed as Stefan and I really like his singing voice. And the Hero Hair wig cracked me up. Kaleb is obviously good at singing at it's nice to hear more from him. I also like how Chris Lee didn't try to exactly emulate Ian and played Damon how someone who has only heard about him might play him.

25. Is Hope painting herself before the pit or something? Or is this supposed to symbolize her despair at her parents' loss? ALSO, I WANT SOMEONE TO MENTION HAYLEY :( Why is Hayley so ignored?!

26. The same person probably wrote MG's notes and Caroline's letter IRL and therefore, in-universe, MG has Caroline's handwriting and it's funny to me.

27. Jenny sings well, I like it. I don't understand the song though, was Caroline actually ever feeling this insecure? I feel like the song became a lot more about Lizzie than her mother. (It's been forever since I watched TVD, if anyone has yet to guess, I prefer watching TO)

28. The doppelganger thing cracked me up.

29. Wait why did the monster attack Josie?! Ohhhh he's forcing Landon to improvise and put Klaus' song at the end. Well, I guess it makes it seem a bit less like Landon's fault. But would Hope know that?

30. It's hilarious how they lowkey make a call back to Nina leaving TVD and them having to put Elena in a sleep spell though.

31. Landon having a hissy fit is funny to me. Aria needs more comedic scenes.

32. Wait, where did Jade come from? Has she been in the school all these weeks?

33. While the scene seems a bit shabby to me, Klaus talking to Hope reminds me of their scene from TO 4X03. I needed more of Summer Fontana and Joseph Morgan together. Also, the donation did get mentioned, YASSSS. Man did some horrific things but he did fund the school so maybe a little less badmouthing in the presence of his daughter now that you know the story, eh, students?

34. The fact that the guidance counselor actually wore a leather jacket and a henley is cracking me up. It's really bizarre.

35. "Terrible painter" XD Klaus would have eaten you for saying that if he were alive.

36. Um, Hope, wouldn't you ask your family if you are doing enough to make your father proud, instead of this random bloke who supposedly met him once?! Maybe call Freya or Rebekah.

37. Why is this monster being nice to Hope? Doesn't it try to break people up or something? You'd think he'd try to piss her off even more and ruin her relationship with Landon.

38. Stefan was trying to be more like Damon by sacrificing himself? Um, what?

39. Well, this musical at least gave Stefan and Caroline a goodbye scene. I wonder how much the twins remember Stefan, must have been a bit emotional for Lizzie to play that. Jenny's singing was gooood, really liked it.

40. JED WAS GONNA KISS LIZZIE AND I WANTED IT TO HAPPEN. But a forehead kiss does work.

41. Hope's playing Elena now? What?

42. Ngl I want Hope and Jed to be friends. She needs more of a connection to her wolf side. Both of her parents wanted her to be surrounded by wolves and she's barely interacting with the wolves in this show, which always makes me sad.

43. So this monster can also do little spells and move physical objects eh? Whatever, this is random.

44. And this monster brings people back together? Why?

45. So when Hope is singing, is she doing it as Elena or Hope? She came on stage as Elena, but I thought the song is about Hope. So WHAT IS IT?

46. Oh Damon's on stage, so Hope is singing as Elena and it's a call back to the graveyard scene from the TVD finale.

47. Danielle sings pretty well. It's good she decided to perform this time.

48. Okay, that lifting up scene was adorable. I feel like Hope and Landon are at their cutest when they're a bit spontaneous. But she's Elena on stage and it lowkey looks like Landon crashed her romantic scene with Damon to kiss her so I'm cackling.

49. How much older is Jade supposed to be than Josie?

50. So is Josie going to leave the school for a while and that's why Ethan will be back in the picture?

51. Jade used to babysit Josie? Okay, it is hella awkward.

52. Josie why, don't do this, yikes. Kissing her once doesn't make it non-creepy.

53. The Sheriff feels kinda shoehorned to me. Also, I don't care for Matt Davis or his character.

54. So Candice did the voiceover for Caroline's letter. That's nice for the show. I still don't understand why the letter showed up in Hope's fireplace though LOL.

55. This episode should have spent more time exploring the aftermath of the loss of Rafael. The abrupt shift from the last episode wasn't nice.

56. Yeah, kids, talk out your problems, thanks.

57. I feel like Klaus is too much of a controversial figure that Hope's conflict about her father's reputation would be resolved in one day. This is feeling undercooked. Speaking of, when is one of Klaus' or Hayley's enemies coming after Hope, because she did inherit all of them. Would make for better storytelling than this monster of the week nonsense. And yeah, still no mention of Hayley, I hate this.

58. The monster's characterization was really odd to me and I am so tired of this format SMH.

59. So they toyed with MG for weeks to get a vampire for the spell? That sounds like too much effort. There are tons of vampires from Klaus and Rebekah's bloodline, they couldn't find another? Also, I wonder who is the wolf that they will use.

Well, I felt like this episode was mostly okay, but not that well-cooked or epic or whatever. What is horrific is that they didn't show Bonnie, though. They could have at least gotten a female black guest character who is one of the witch students or something. This is very offensive.

Also, I don't think it makes sense for the show to do any more musicals in the future. This ain't Riverdale.

[reynie-muldoons]

'Run Silent, Run Deep' liveblog!

I've been avoiding spoilers for days but I heard this one's a doozy. Let's get at it

I heard something happens between SQ and Curtain. I'm already prepared to throw hands

1:19 30 years ago??? Tiny Nicholas???? Tiny Nathaniel?????

1:27 the out of tune warmups are giving me flashbacks

1:35 NICKY 😭

2:13 "presentation is everything" something tells me that's an ideology that stuck with him long-term

2:29 ohhh that hard cut to present Mr. Benedict made me so sad for him for some reason

2:45 NUMBER TWO'S FACE HAHAHAHA she really do be standing there like

3:06 roll credits. Damn, it feels like Milligan has said the episode title almost every time

3:22 "have the children... grown?" MILLIGAN NO

3:36 "yes it did BUT THIS WILL WORK" honey who are you fooling

3:45 THE THEME SLAPS SO HARDDDD. I get pumped every time it plays in the background

3:57 "permission to speak freely?" "Yes, of course, but havent you always had that?" WHY AM I CRYING THAT WAS SO SWEET AND OFFHAND

4:18 "I placed children, innocent children, in grave danger." Correct! Next statement

4:18 further commentary on that- show!Benedict is definitely a different person from book!Benedict. Just slightly. Our Tony Hale show mans is more snappy, less patient, and more reckless, although our classic book mans was a reckless, loveable little shit in his own way.

4:25 "not just any children. exceptional children." HER FAITH IN THEM IS SO SWEET AND STEADFAST

4:57 "you havent failed. You just havent finished yet." Writing that down for the next time my mental health dips

5:22 this absolutely bops and nothing less

6:23 HOLD ON why is 'fluid pressure' connected to 'air pressure' 😂😂😂

6:37 he looks so weird standing in that window 😂😂 mans looks 3 feet tall

6:46 "yes it's Wednesday" ah, so we've made it to barely contained contempt, I see.

7:00 "I have the perfect candidate" it's gotta be reynie or sticky, but my first guess was sticky; gotta get in that free manipulation

7:03 CALLED IT

7:11 WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT THIS FREELY IN THE HALLWAY

7:25 WHY ARE THEY MAKING PLANS FREELY IN THE HALLWAY

7:32 "she will be weak from lack of sunlight" I mean she's not wrong

7:42 "I can make paralytic from spider venom" Constance, honey, where on earth did you learn that

7:59 Constance coming in clutch with the daily dose of morbidity 😂😂

8:30 Sticky being outwardly defensive of the Whisperer is pretty dang in-character. He finally found something that made him feel secure and confident after a childhood of anxiety and walking on eggshells, who wouldnt defend that tooth and nail?

8:39 "he is drinking the kool-aid." "Gulping it." LMFAOOO

9:10 I'm sorry but those goggles are butt ugly

9:23 euuuuugh the synchronized hand-on-shoulder thing gives me the creeps

9:33 "friend." (derogatory)

10:03 "do you remember how calm and assured it made you feel? ... it feels the same way about you." THAT'S SO MANIPULATIVE STOP IT RIGHT NOW

10:26 "so many Messengers unconsciously fight the Whisperer. They push back." Unfortunate that that's what Sticky's gonna do now, right? Right?

10:32 "Reynie Muldoon, for instance." why did I gasp so loudly

11:04 it's egg time

11:16 AGAIN!!! WHY ARE THEY DISCUSSING THIS OUT LOUD AND IN PUBLIC!!!!!

11:30 wait Reynie took so little food for his lunch why does that make me sad 🥺

11:38 oh cool oh dope we learn Martina's been promoted from Reynie instead of being shown 🙃🙃

12:06 CONNIE GIRL NOO

12:13 "Hurry up, time is wasting" HUHHH

12:13 did Reynie and Sticky not fuck up the final messenger session in the book instead of the Improvement actually beginning?? Am I remembering that incorrectly????

12:44 Miss Perumal, my beloved

13:19 wowowow creepy

13:40 okay yeah there kinda isnt room for all the kids in there

13:43 why did I expect a jumpscare

14:02 am I stupid for not knowing what "high recovery drum level" means

14:23 I'm so worried for him omfggg

14:39 CONSTANCE YOU CLEVER GIRL

14:48 this has to be a flashback back to the orphanage, no one in modern times would wear two different types of plaid

15:06 we've all been to elementary school choir concerts where one kid is a little too over the top.. Nathaniel is that kid

15:09 DID HE WINK 😂😂

15:17 is he trying to charm the patrons into adopting him???

15:28 Nicholas promptly dying of embarassment

15:36 Nathaniel putting his fists up like that gives off "man or muppet" vibes hahahaha

15:57 Nicholas is the embarrassed other sibling who Doesnt Want To Be Associated

16:26 okay but Rhonda's hair is showstopping every time

16:47 SQ!!!!

17:15 "oh yeah, I love to draw" I cant tell how much of this is true and how much he's pulling out of his ass lolol

18:08 tetherball!!!

18:35 "I'm a very, very, very deep sleeper... come deep" HAHA

18:50 Martina and Kate shippers will be watching this episode over and over again, calling it now

19:57 why do they have so much chemistry 😳 all the pent up grudges somehow boiled down to making easy conversation

20:09 she really agreed in NO seconds

20:18 SQ!!!!!

20:20 "I thought I'd politely asked you to give me my space today" heeeey so uh asking politely doesn't mean you can stop being a father for a day 😀

20:56 SQ LOOKS SO NERVOUS STOPPPP

20:59 "maybe I'm misremembering?" WOW WHY IS HE SO CONDESCENDING

21:44 STOP IT OMFG STOP TRYING TO MAKE SQ FEEL LIKE PEOPLE ARE ONLY NICE TO HIM TO KISS ASS

22:18 "and in the last, let's face it, you havent had many friends" SHUT UP YOU NARCISSIST

22:39 "I'm just trying to protect you." NO YOURE FUCKING NOT IM SO MAD

23:27 I hate that he's drawing just to manipulate SQ

23:44 "Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it" 🥺🥺🥺 also can we acknowledge that he admitted that he genuinely likes SQ

24:11 yeahhh it is a little weird that he's so eager considering he's a spy, but it makes sense for him to feel secure

24:39 "you were the golden child" WOW WHAT?? Are they throwing hands???

24:57 "the Whisperer is manipulating your mind, your emotions" PLEASE LISTEN TO REYNIE

25:01 "I know." .......that was not what I expected 😳

25:10 oh god please no dont let Sticky turn on Reynie here, please no

25:42 "Just read the papers" why does he sound like a Tr*mp supporter telling everyone to watch fox news

26:37 oh dear god a leak, please be okay Milligan

27:06 is SQ's textbook.. not a rectangle? Like some weird ass trapezoid??

27:40 "you actually captured the light pretty well" awwwwww

28:16 I cringed 😂 why is Nathaniel a blooming theater kid

28:43 "he can do long division in his head. I taught him how." I kinda doubt Nathaniel taught him

28:47 "he doesnt take up much space, really. Or eat much, for that matter." Way to advocate for your brother, dude

28:57 if you only have room for one then why even ask to visit with twins

28:58 "if you can only take on, we understand. We want what's best for each other." I'm assuming this only applies if Nathaniel were adopted and not Nicholas, and the other way around would make Nathaniel bitter as fuck

29:37 he has to be talking to Sticky. HE'S GOTTA BE. that manipulative fuckwad!!!

29:39 I HATE BEING RIGHT

29:44 wagyu is super fancy

29:57 "unlike others around here, I do not find your knowledge of facts and figures annoying at all" why does that make me feel like he actually does find it annoying

30:25 "I actually thought it was your roommate that had the potential" why does that line seem like something out of an alternate AU fanfic?? In the books Reynie is actually the golden child and Curtain all but expels Sticky from the Institute because he suspects him to be a untrustworthy. Reynie's about the only thing that stops him from doing so. Having it so poignantly swapped is a little jarring

30:40 "try the horseradish" he said, not trying the horseradish

31:02 "kind of a classic outgoing introvert" I think the word you're looking for is 'ambivert', my guy

31:22 this has got to be Curtain trying to get Sticky to open up and spill the beans

31:43 YESS stand up for Reynie even when you're peeved at him, that's teamwork

31:57 why does the horseradish seem so sus

32:07 "that's where your greatness lies, Sticky. Within." That sounds like a demented Mr. Benedict and that's almost freakier than outright violence

32:17 that smile absolutely did not make it to his eyes

32:33 oh dear lord that's foreboding

32:47 oh wow SQ actually brought him???

33:01 "I guess she feels like she has to be his friend?" LMAO SQ understands Curtain a lot more than I thought he did

33:08 "that's what my birth father did with Dr. Curtain" CURTAIN ISTG DID YOU KILL THIS BOY'S FATHER

33:22 tetherball match!!!

34:17 tetherball is Martina's special interest. I will take no further questions

34:22 that noise Kate made 😂😂 "EeugH"

35:23 eat strong be strong 😌

35:43 dot hand! Dot hand! Dot hand!

36:25 SHE THINKS SHE'S A WINNER!!!!

36:36 SHE MADE THAT FOR HER??? 🥺🥺 MAN this is gonna suck when Kate is revealed as a spy

36:53 MILLIGAN BUDDY GET OUT OF THERE

37:08 ayyy the shit from the commercial

37:23 SQ isnt supposed to be there past afternoon.. it's definitely past the afternoon from how the sun is sitting. That's two rules broken.

38:10 communicators to boost the signal? Maybe???

38:32 "Hope somebody tells the deer." SQ, sweet sunshine boy, please never change

38:40 tomorrow??? Jeez, okay

38:59 okay so those are the hats that Dr. Curtain and the Head Scientist Whose Name I Can't Remember picked out from a catalogue

39:16 Constance, my sweet gremlin child

39:30 RIP extraordinary education 😭 now even my theory wouldnt work (linked here for anyone who hasnt seen it)

39:32 "should have been me." "I know." DAYUMMM

39:39 "you'll come back for me, right, Nicky?" Ohhh dear

39:59 this happened on the same day as the concert, their hair is still slicked back

40:09 okay, I'm not over this, if you only have room for one kid, why even consider twins 😑 dont separate brothers, it's cruel

40:24 a bunk bed??? Idk why he has that but the meaning behind it is sweet

40:52 Rhonda stealing the show by looking fantastic, yet again!!!

40:59 they are the chaotic partnership that this world desperately needed

41:06 oh heyyy, caught in the act

41:13 "I lied." Not the first time, but please continue

41:16 "I lied the worst possible lie." Okay, now I'm nervous

41:34 okay, yeah, Number Two's feeling the same way I am. Just a silent "wtf???"

41:58 Number Two and Rhonda simultaneously telling him to stop and to go on 😭

42:25 he didnt ask them 🥺 man, I have thoughts, especially as an abuse survivor. That's gonna have to be a whole other post.. I'll queue it up for later today.

42:30 🥺

42:35 "I betrayed him in the worst possible way." I dont think he's giving himself enough credit.

42:49 and now we've arrived at the long-awaited "the Emergency is my fault" arc

43:07 Nature vs nurture is incredibly interesting, and makes for very dynamic discussion prompts surrounding this show in general

43:52 "Never." GODDAMNIT THEYRE SO SWEET

43:59 I love that she's wearing the beret lolol

43:59 on another note, what a jarring cut from a very emotional confession to her stowing away in a crate that's on a boat going back to the island. We haven't seen the island yet, but where else could she be going?

44:12 aaaand there's the island. I mean, if she's in a boat, there's only so many narratively appropriate places for her to be going lol

44:17 surprised the sub hasnt filled with water yet

44:26 leave it to pipestop putty 😂

44:27 LMAO WHERE I PAUSED IT HE HAS CRAZY EYES 😂😂😂 LOOK AT THIS

44:37 oh dear god he's reached the cgi turbines

44:44 that's one good way to sink a submarine

44:44 on another note- is escaping a sinking sub going to be the thing that forcefully returns his memory instead of escaping the Waiting Room??

45:12 good to know Dr. Curtain doesnt pay attention to those he says he values

45:20 the way he totally ignored her and just plowed on????

45:28 she keeps trying to toast and he just keeps on going 😭😭😭 he really likes to hear himself talk doesnt he

45:39 AND THEN THE FORCED TOAST I can't oh my gosh

45:51 that gulp... ew

45:53 AYY good job Katie-Cat

46:04 I'm so glad they're addressing her being missing

46:38 enter: Constance

46:46 "where have you been?" "In the ceiling" GOD 😂😂😂 I love this child

47:12 ohhhh so she sidnt go to sleuth, she went to scratch the mental itch and get the beret

47:41 "straight into the coconut." Kate 😂

48:05 "thank you, cult." THANK YOU!! finally someone acknowledges that this school is a cult!

48:06 JEEZ!

48:18 "no one gets left behind" 🥺

48:30 oh god Kate please don't go off by yourself

48:48 oh dear god please get out of there Milligan PLEASE BE OUT OF THERE ALREADY

THAT'S IT??? OH GOD IM SO WORRIED

[jetravenex]

I posted 1,140 times in 2021

11 posts created (1%)

1129 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 102.6 posts.

I added 171 tags in 2021

#knight rider - 46 posts

#persona 5 - 29 posts

#kitt - 27 posts

#akira kurusu - 13 posts

#p5 - 11 posts

#michael knight - 11 posts

#knight rider 08 - 10 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 8 posts

#persona 5 protagonist - 8 posts

#ann takamaki - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#i used to have a different pic of kitt as my icon on skype and everyone was like 'oh yeah jet's icon is the weird red and black one' xp

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Happy Valentine’s Day Friends! 

Today I bring you the 5th chapter of my multi crossover fanfiction Coming Together!

Chapter 5: The Collector’s Wager

With so little time to get through the palace, Joker and the Phantom Thieves make a bet with Shadow Miyakawa to speed up taking her treasure. If they win, the route’s secured. But if they fail, their leader will be taken as the palace ruler’s prize.

3 notes • Posted 2021-02-15 04:31:02 GMT

#4

Watched the Latest Marvel What-if

I don’t know why I opted to watch the dark and scary episode during Lunch when I’m stressed but I did. And much regret.

Not that it was bad! I actually genuinely enjoyed it. I’d seen a lot of gifs on Tumblr that made me go ‘huh’ and so I had to watch it and see for myself. 

Spoilers beneath the cut:

So admittedly it was DARK. Like I remember people going into it like ‘Pft, Disney going to pull all the punches’ 

Hahahaha, nope. I’m not a big horror/gore fan but it felt like the right dose for me. I mean yeah they weren’t GRATUITOUS but they definitely had some on screen deaths. Played up the horror. Didn’t solely rely on jumpscares.

The only one really was kind of Peter accidentally jumpscaring Kurt which was great XP.

I did get spoiled that Vision was feeding people to Wanda. But when I read that he fed T’Challa to her... I thought ‘Well RIP T’Challa.’ but instead I’m like ‘OH YAY! You’re ALIVE!’

I was DEVASTATED when Hope died. I was like ‘no girl NO.’

And then she dies after going giant I’m like ‘Well... you do realize she’s going to become a giant zombie- oh we’re just leaving her there. Okay.’

And admittedly it didn’t hit me until AFTER the fact, but man they killed off ALL the ladies! Like we couldn’t have kept Okoye? 

Like we couldn’t have Vision yank her from Wanda at the last minute rather than have her just be BOOM dead. 

I admittedly can’t pick which of the guys I’d RATHER have died. But I just would’ve liked to have at least ONE lady survive with them. Just one! 

I will say having Hope do the Antman strat everyone on the net joked about... is it dark that it was like ‘yes this is what likely would’ve happened.’

I’m actually shocked they did that.

I mean yeah they didn’t focus on it, just ‘suddenly Wasp’

I do wish it hadn’t led to her getting infected though :(

I mean I guess in theory Captain Marvel is still in existence in the Zombies universe so we’ve got A female hero? Maybe? (Plz).

Though admittedly that ending... oof.

I couldn’t tell if Thanos was already IN wakanda. The shield was still up so I assume no. But it was hard for me to tell tbh. 

But seeing zombie thanos with the gauntlet just. The dread skyrocketed. He has all of them EXCEPT the mindstone, and we’re down to 2 avengers with T’Challa down a leg. 

REALLY wish they’d had Okoye survive! 

at least then we’d have three... not sure how that evens the odds but it’d make me happier.

Anyways I do REALLY love Bruce’s send off telling Peter to ‘Avenge us’. I LOVED that. It felt so good.

And I also just loved Hulk vs. Wanda. Since it seemed Hulk can’t get infected and we know Wanda’s OP sure. But we don’t SEE Hulk bite the dust so maybe.

Bucky though I think he’s gone. Considering that Wanda went for Hulk.

That’s another thing that bugs me, we see all three women die pretty conclusively but the men it’s more up in the air, though highly unlikely (I mean Scott survived despite being ground zero so y’know XP).

A lot of people are noting that Hank Pym is doing a LOT to the MCU. I like the comparison to Reed Richards XP. We don’t have him yet so we need one, and I’d honestly rather Hank Pym over Tony Stark.

Tony had to be the one to take the fall for making Ultron in the MCU.

I’m down to see Hank Pym being the one to mess stuff up in What if? 

Though who knows whats to come XP

Overall pretty spoop gonna need to chill after all that.

4 notes • Posted 2021-09-09 19:31:31 GMT

#3

NEW CHAPTER OF COMING TOGETHER

After SO MUCH WAITING.

I have a new chapter of my massive crossover centered in Persona 5 XP

Right here!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26691475/chapters/70895766

6 notes • Posted 2021-01-21 17:53:58 GMT

#2

New Chapter of Coming Together is now up!

It has been a few months but I think I now have a rhythm to keep pushing on!

This chapter was a KITTcentric one to establish him a little bit. 

There’s a lot of introspection, but he’s doing his best XP

9 notes • Posted 2021-10-25 06:13:38 GMT

#1

Knight Rider Reboot

Me: *has started being active on Twitter*

Me: I don’t have enough Knight Rider content appearing... I should change that. 

*searches Knight Rider on Twitter*

First result:

https://screenrant.com/knight-rider-reboot-movie-david-hasselhoff-opinion/?utm_content=buffercabc9&utm_medium=Social-Distribution&utm_source=SR-TW&utm_campaign=SR-TW

Me: ... I was not aware of this being a thing.

Me: *gets up from chair*

Also me: *kicks open door to Tumblr with megaphone* WE’RE GETTING A KNIGHT RIDER REBOOT PEOPLE! BRAND NEW CONTENT HERE WE COME!

18 notes • Posted 2021-01-14 04:15:16 GMT

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[daymansbingerecapsandrankings]

(Originally written on October 8, 2020)

🎵Bang, Bang Bangedy Bang

I said a Bang Bang Bangedy Bang🎵

My How I Met Your Mother Thoughts

I just spent the last nine seasons in New York with the gang that spends all their time in MacLaren’s Pub. SELF FIVE! I have to say, this binge of How I Met Your Mother brought me so much happiness. I started watching this show for the first time back in high school, and I ended up watching the last six seasons as they aired. I remember loving this group of characters, and now I am reminded why. There’s so much chemistry between the five, and it makes for one of my favorite Comedies/Sitcoms of all time. If you’ve read any of my previous Show Thoughts, then you know I’ve been watching several over the course of this lovely Pandemic That Will Just Keep Going. After this rewatch, I’ve decided HIMYM is my third favorite Comedy/Sitcom, right after Boy Meets World and Scrubs.

Now, I know that the Finale is infamous. It’s in the Mount Rushmore of Terrible Endings, and people end up getting a sour taste in their mouth when they bring up the show. Well, it’s been some years. There’s been time to reflect and look back. And, while I’m not in favor of the Finale, I also don’t hate it anymore with the passion of a thousand suns. I just loved watching and growing with the gang, seeing them experience their highs and their lows, their triumphs and their failures. It just hits harder as an adult, like most of these shows assuredly do, and I cherish so many of these episodes and moments.

And now, my rankings for the seasons!

Seasons Rankings

1. Season One

2. Season Four

3. Season Two

4. Season Six

5. Season Eight

6. Season Five

7. Season Three

8. Season Seven

9. Season Nine

My rankings for the girlfriends, purely on how much I like them as a character

The Girlfriends Rankings

1. Robin

2. Tracy

3. Victoria

4. Zoey

5. Stella

6. Jeannette

And now, a ranking of my favorite episodes. From 1-50, these are the ones that stand out above the rest. I consider every single one of these enjoyable.

Favorite Episodes

1. Slap Bet (S2E9)

2. Come On (S1E22)

3. The Limo (S1E11)

4. The Best Burger in New York (S4E2)

5. Ten Sessions (S3E13)

6. The Pineapple Incident (S1E10)

7. Bachelor Party (S2E19)

8. Game Night (S1E15)

9. Oh, Honey (S6E15)

10. Glitter (S6E9)

11. The Duel (S1E8)

12. The Pilot (S1E1)

13. Arriverdverci, Fierro (S2E17)

14. The Over-Correction (S8E10)

15. How Your Mother Met Me (S916)

16. Intervention (S4E4)

17. The Magician’s Code, Part II (S7E24)

18. The Autumn of Break-Ups (S8E5)

19. The Ducky Tie (S7E3)

20. The Best Man (S7E1)

21. The Leap (S4E24)

22. Blitzgiving (S6E10)

23. Three Days of Snow (S4E13)

24. The Scorpion & The Toad (S2E2)

25. Bass Player Wanted (S9E13)

26. The Final Page, Part 2 (S8E12)

27. Duel Citizenship (S5E5)

28. Happily Ever After (S4E6)

29. Farhampton (S8E1)

30. Bro Mitzvah (S8E22)

31. Robin 101 (S5E3)

32. The Magician’s Code, Part I (S7E23)

33. Last Words (S6E14)

34. The Playbook (S5E8)

35. The Time Travelers (S8E20)

36. Splitsville (S8E6)

37. Subway Wars (S6E4)

38. Showdown (S2E20)

39. Drumroll, Please (S1E13)

40. Front Porch (S4E17)

41. Twin Bed (S5E21)

42. Who Wants to be a Godparent? (S8E4)

43. Girls vs. Suits (S5E12)

44. Something Borrowed (S2E21)

45. As Fast As She Can (S4E23)

46. The Wedding Bride (S5E23)

47. The Bracket (S3E14)

48. The Sexless Innkeeper (S5E4)

49. Third Wheel (S3E3)

50. Spoiler Alert (S3E8)

And now, just some thoughts on the show and on the gang!

Ted - I know people don’t like Ted. I don’t actually like Ted all that much. And yet, I found myself rooting for Ted just like I did the first go around. He’s not the worst person in the world, and I would be scared to see half of the decisions we’ve made in the dating game stringed together into a TV show. I know people wouldn’t like me very much for those decisions. Then again, I also don’t get super crazy about details about buildings, I don’t pronounce encyclopedia that way, and he tends to stick his foot in his mouth with this White Man confidence that I just don’t have. With all that being said, I still find Ted being a great friend, a man who is just trying to find the love of his life, and someone who really drives this story with great tales and narration (Bob Saget is the Sixth Man of the Show for just always bringing it). I think Ted does stupid things and he pretty much admits it after the fact. He learns, sometimes, and also doesn’t much like most of us. When he finally found the Mother, when he finally found Tracy, I cared. I cared so much, and I still do. Even though they just shit on her character and don’t give us enough time with her, I almost wonder if that’s a metaphor for the fact that you won’t always have enough time with your loved ones.

Robin - Let’s go to the mall! Yeah! Robin Sparkles is a Canadian Treasure, and so is Robin Scherbatsky. She is one of the best things about this show, and I love her so. Played by Cobie Smulders who I need to see in more stuff, Robin is who we all wanted Ted to maybe be with first. Then we go through all the loops of the HIMYM roller coaster, and a lot of us still wanted them to be together. I was one of them. Yet, she was more than just a romantic plot line for Ted. She was a part of the group who we got to see join it and evolve into a member of their family organically. Robin is fun, loud, full of fun quirks that we get to learn over the course of the series. I was heartbroken when we found out she can’t have children. I was loving the back and forth between her and Barney (the first time), and kind of mad at Barney about being such a crazy ass prankster the second time. Robin shows us just how amazing some gun loving, hockey obsessed Canadian news anchor can be, and how much she cares for her friends.

Lily - Justice Aldrin ends up being one of my favorite characters, even if that gets some curious looks. Yeah, she left Marshall for a summer. Yeah, she had some hesitancy with the marriage and everything. That happens. Lily was also always there for her friends, even if she ends up going a little overboard. She wants Ted to find happiness, and does whatever she can to help. She is there to listen to Robin at all times, and her and Marshall are easily one of the best relationships in TV I’ve ever witnessed. Then we have Lily and Barney which is honestly super underrated. Barney trusts Lily, even though she can’t keep a secret, with all of his emotional problems. Lily is who thought Barney could change before anyone else, and I love seeing their friendship grow from eye rolls to eye tears.

Barney - Oh, Barney. He honestly brings so much annoyance and fun to the show. He’s the friend of the gang who everyone tolerates. He’s the one in the gang who everyone ends up loving just as much as everyone else. Barney shows such a terrible face to the world, sleeping with over 250 women and lying to most of them. He has all these rules that aren’t very ethical. He gives us most of the Misogynism in this show, which is definitely prevalent and makes the show not as strong as it was in the first watch. Still, we get to see Barney grow into someone who wants real love and a happy life. Sure, they show us that his marriage to Robin only lasts three years, but at least they tried. Barney just couldn’t make it work, and that’s honestly who Barney really is. A person who just enjoys sleeping with different people. I was very warmed to see the baby reveal and that Barney becoming a dad was what would change him more than anything. Barney is an underrated friend, and his importance to the gang is legendary.

Marshall - I. Love. Big Fudge. He’s just so fun, caring, goofy, loyal, and everything that I aspire to be in life. For some reason, when watching the show the first time, I related to Ted the most. I was definitely a bit more selfish then. But now, I see that I am a Marshall. He wants to do good in the world, and it drives him so much. He only loves Lily, and his loyalty to their relationship is just Goals. He is also the most fun to watch having a crisis. He gets the big eyes and covers his mouth and just gets obviously super uncomfortable. Some of my favorite moments of the show are also Marshall’s talks with Ted about his feelings for Robin. Any one-on-ones with Marshall and someone else are probably my favorite moments. And yes, I will always root for him over those damn machines!

Last Thoughts:

Sure, the writing wasn’t as sharp or as witty in the later seasons, but I loved the story lines and seeing the gang just live.

Tracy was an amazing character as The Mother, and I truly wonder what could have been if they had given us two full seasons of story with her instead of any episodes of Jeannette.

I really can’t believe Ted told his kids all those stories. A fun premise for a show, but really, not very realistic telling them all that jazz.

Ranjit and Carl are such fun recurring characters that I always enjoyed seeing every time they popped up.

Out of all the recurring jokes and gags, which there are many (y’all said Community has so many, but HIMYM really swings for it), I love the Major/General salute joke. Idk if I just didn’t care for it the first time around or forgot about it, but I just love how silly it is and how they kept it through to the very last episode.

Watching the gang sit at their table in MacLaren’s just hanging out will always make me smile.

[kob131]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byjiwECylIE

So EruptionFang made a video about Raven Branwen. 

Considering his last video I watched (his Volume 8 Episode 2 Breakdown) was basically him shitting himself continuously because he’s STILL bitter about his headcanon being disproven, I don’t have high hopes.

But who knows, maybe he’ll make a good point.

0:00 - 1:24 “In RWBY, other characters get torn down to make Team RWBY look better, like the show only wants you to like Team RWBY! No one gets to be fleshed out or understood by the show! It’s SOOO disrespectful!”

...

*SMASH!*

Sorry, that was the sound of me faceplanting so hard I smashed a desk in half.

Really, Team RWBY never rises up and only other characters get torn down to make them look good? Yang never had to develop from being reckless as all hell to actually using her head in a fight? Blake didn’t have to get over her own fears and learn to accept help from others? Weiss didn’t have to struggle against her own personality to become a better person overall? Ruby didn’t have to struggle against the world itself and her own worldview to keep going?

This shit that is OBSERVABLE IN THE FUCKING SHOW didn’t happen? Sure, and there are two Adams. Even by the example you visually give (Avatar The Last Airbender)- Team RWBY still rose up like Team Aang did.

And don’t give me that ‘other characters get torn down!’ bullshit. The Ace Ops weren’t made to look bad to make Team RWBY look good- They failed because of their own personal flaws that were already established before that fight (Harriet’s recklessness, Elm’s temper, Vine’s detached attitude, Marrow’s disconnect). And Adam wasn’t torn down AT ALL: he remained the same damn character throughout his appearances and failed through his own failures born from his character.

And funny how you talk about other character not getting developed and yet ignore the Ace Ops’ boss. What’s wrong? Oh yeah, Ironwood IS developed (EXTENSIVELY. As in, we know more about his thought process, reasoning and actions than even WEISS, let alone Blake, Yang and Ruby.) so he just becomes a walking debunking of your OPENING ARGUMENT.

Not even past the intro and I’m already pissed.

1:46 ‘Any character’s righteous revolutions-’

Which didn’t exist, was disproven in the first episode and completely ignores BASIC writing tropes (like ‘Villians LIE’).

But please, keep talking about your delusions.

1:56 ‘There is an inescapable bubble Raven is in by both the audience and the characters!’

Spoiler Alert: It’s a bubble Raven HERSELF made in the first place.

‘A bubble that she’s a coward and cares about no one but herself.’

True and effectively true. I’ll explain WHY later.

(Nothing to say about the ‘Meeting Yang and Raven’ part, moving on)

8:37 - 8:51 *quotes Shane’s letter, portraying it as a cruel choice to ignore the Volume 2 stinger scene.*

So now we’ve moved on to tearing off chunks of Monty’s corpse and Shane’s grief to use for his own headcanon. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I have absolutely no sympathy for anyone using this- partially because it’s always using an emotional connection to Monty to manipulate the audience. Partially because this was a DUMB decision. 

Where the FUCK would Raven fit into Volume 3? Even the section EF takes from is about a fight that everyone agrees wouldn’t have fit into Volume 3 at all and served no purpose and this is the ONLY mention of Raven. Combine this with how Volume 3 is structured (where Raven can’t do anything that Qrow didn’t already do), how ambiguous the final scene of Volume 2 was, the Mary Sue accusations against Yang at this point and Raven’s revealed personality- She wouldn’t WORK in Volume 3. Just because Monty had the idea doesn’t make it a good one. Fuck, he BROUGHT ON Miles and Kerry BECAUSE he knew he wasn’t a writer and his last contribution (Maidens) was BY FAR the worst aspect of RWBY which proves that even more.

EF, you’re bitching that Raven wasn’t shoved into a Volume already overstuffed and lacking in time and resources. With NO purpose and contradicting her personality.

Congrats on encouraging bad writing.

10:43 ‘It doesn’t make sense that in introducing the maidens and making Raven one, they cut her attacking Pyrrha to get her Maiden powers!’

Yeah- nice headcanon. Too bad your own quote says they didn’t know the purpose, Shane’s letter never says the purpose either and you even say it’s speculation. Also too bad that we’re suppose to SYMPATHIZE with Raven on some level later on and a large part of why Cinder isn’t portrtayed as sympathetic is that she KILLED Pyrrha, Raven’s theoretical target. Thus Raven’s attack would make her even MORE unlikeable.

‘B-but it changes the context of what we know, like Yang’s search for her!”

And how? 

“Through her message to Yang, which was hostile and angry!”

... Really? The message of “I won’t save you again” is angry and hostile? It seems more matter of fact to me, informing Yang she won’t help her again not out of anger or dislike but through her worldview, which would be disconnected from her emotions on the surface.

Qrow’s words never include an insult or attack on Yang, like calling her weak or mocking her. You can INTERPRET it as hostile and angry but that depends on the subjective worldview of the person. The actual words and message don’t carry hostility or anger. They carry apathy.

‘B-but it splits her character in two-!’

Oh my god, did you SERIOUSLY try to pull another ‘Two Adams’ on me?

Raven DIDN’T HAVE a character to spilts in those two appearances. We knew nothing about her as a person. Her saving Yang and that supposed talk could have been for and about ANYTHING. That’s why there were so many theories: NOTHING was known. And nothing about those actions inform her character without context, which Volume 2 never gives.

This ‘first Raven’, like CJ Black’s ‘First Adam’, DOESN’T EXIST. It’s just a headcanon you refused to accept as being debunked.

‘W-well, Raven still looked after Yang when her arm was cut off!’

In bird form. And only bird form. And never directly interacts with Yang. All in a form Yang DOESN’T KNOW she’s in. Suffering from problems RAVEN HERSELF caused. WITH A FUCKING PORTAL TO HER AT ALL TIMES.

‘B-but her actions say that she DOES care!’

I knew PRECISELY what arguments you were gonna make the moment I started this video. Because they’re the SAME DAMN SHIT I’ve seen to defend Raven before. And let me go ahead and tear it down now: Raven being around in bird form means NOTHING. Without Yang knowing it’s her, it is meaningless. It’s WORSE than nothing because it demonstrates that Raven could have been with Yang throughout her life with no apparent cost to her because SHE WAS ALREADY DOING IT. And it means she watched Yang struggle with her abandonment and the toll it took on her family and ESPECIALLY Yang and did NOTHING to fix the problem. 

Even ignoring the portal thing, taking this one scene in a vacuum- her looking at her depressed daughter and then fucking off paints her as either so lacking in empathy that she can’t be bothered to help HER OWN CHILD or so ill equipped to be a parent she makes TFS Goku look like...well, Taiyang. With CONTEXT, (still ignoring the portal thing), she CAUSED this depression by scarring Yang all those years ago and made Yang’s life worse for it. With the portal, she couldn’t even do the barest of minimum standards.

You can try to portray this as beautiful all you want: Nothing is shown stopping Raven from actually BEING A PARENT FOR ONCE before this and after this, we KNOW it wouldn’t be difficult in the slightest and she STILL chooses to not help. It’s one of the worst cases of parental apathy I have ever seen and fuck you for trying to bitch out the creators because you chose to IGNORE CONTEXT.

‘Instead of making it so Raven abandoned Yang because of her Maiden powers, they instead chose to abandon her role as a mother!’

You mean they had a character make a decision that completely fits with how the audience would perceive the character at this point?

Everyone, consider what we know about Raven. She’s Qrow’s twin sister, meaning she’s logically just skilled and strong as Qrow is. She’s also a Maiden, something that gives characters an IMMENSE amount of power separate from their normal abilities. She has a decoy so no one knows what she actually is. She has a portal to and from Yang at ALL times. She’s as strong as the strongest non-Maiden character shown so far, IS a Maiden bolstering her power beyond the Maidens we DO know of and can instantly be there for Yang at any time in her life and get away if someone tries to go after her, which makes no sense if it’s about her being a Maiden because she has a DECOY for this thing.

And yet, with all these things working for her, giving her every advantage that DEFIES the common trope EF is pushing- Raven still ditched her, ditched her a second time and couldn’t even be bothered to give her deeply apathetic message herself. And now supposedly, Raven would suddenly become a mother to Yang...and we’re expected to feel happy about this.

Yeah, no. People would be outraged that Raven got off scot free. In no part

“Everyone keeps being hostile and angry with Raven, who is also being hostile and angry. This means that the other guys are just pidgeonholding her into this role!”

Yes, a trend that Raven HERSELF causes. Qrow is hostile towards her because she tried to act as though she cared about her family to Qrow, a character shown to be a loyal person, but ignores her own DAUGHTER when it’s supposedly about family. Yang is hostile towards Raven because she knows Raven could have been there for her but chose not to, all while she NEEDS to find her ACTUAL family. Even Taiyang’s look at the end of Volume 5 makes sense as if she’s there, that means she’s likely running from their daughter, whom she has failed as a parent YET AGAIN despite Taiyang giving her a generous interpretation.

Raven is being forced into a role SHE MADE FOR HERSELF.

“This isn’t how it was at the beginning of the show. Yang and by extension the audience is sad and curious while Raven and Qrow are angry and toxic.”

Again, you ignore context.

Yang knows NOTHING about Raven and was abandoned by her. Of course she’d be sad and curious.

But Qrow is different. He DOES know Raven, saw first hand what her actions have done to his family while being the type of person who would HATE this and Raven is actively being manipulative while also avoiding him as he asks for help in SAVING THE WORLD.

Later on, Yang finds Raven...after learning that Raven had every chance in the world to be there for her and chose NOT to. All while Raven exudes arrogance and a selfish pride in being a ‘prize’ for Yang to work towards.

Then Raven proceeds to use her as BAIT, abandon her, try to turn her against the family that HAS been there for her, insults the father and uncle who loved and cared for her- all for more power...that wouldn’t even solve the problem Raven has. She stabbed her own brother and daughter in the back...for nothing. Because of her own flaws, something Yang fought against and overcame making her more mature than her MOTHER.

And after all that, she is given one last chance to truly show her love for Yang: to help her and join her. To go with her and put herself at risk for Yang’s safety or at least taking the Relic so Salem will target her instead of Yang. And what does Raven do? Abandons her AGAIN.

Abandons her to run off near her ex, the man she left with a child and a broken heart. She uses her connection to him to run away from her responsibility as a parent, running away from THEIR DAUGHTER. The girl he raised up without blaming Raven for anything, instead trying to paint a good picture of her in Yang’s head.

No shit people are hostile or unhappy with her- She keeps FAILING.

‘Oh hey, they made her an antagonist and thus EVIL! The writer’s CLEARLY think that there’s no way a parent who abandoned their child can be anything other than EVIL!’

... Then how come they portray her as conflicted and sad in the finale of Volume 5?

Much like how Adam’s unmasking fundamentally BREAKS his previous arguments of ‘HE EVIL!’ because it helps humanize Adam and give him pity and sorrow, the same is done here with the finale and Raven’s final actions so far. If Raven were evil, she wouldn’t have tried justifying her actions. Salem, Tyrian and , actively evil characters, don’t act like Raven. And they certainly don’t show regret or sorrow for their actions or conflicts about the results. This goes AGAINST how people perceive evil, even in the show itself.

So if she’s supposedly EVIL, why is her climax all about aspects that are fundamentally incompatible with how evil is portrayed in the show?

Answer: Raven’s not portrayed as evil. She’s portrayed as FLAWED, with actual negative flaws that cause her grief and pain like any normal character. EF is just throwing a fit that a ‘character’ he likes isn’t being treated as positive.

‘Volume 4 wasn’t where we got our first impression of Raven, it was Volume 2 and 3!’

And what impression could you get?

That she’s strong...and that’s it. At least, that’s it for positive traits. Raven is strong because she scared off Neo and that’s all the positive traits we have of her.

Everything else is negative. She apparently doesn’t care enough about Yang to stay around in any capacity for whatever reason. She refuses to see Yang and is largely apathetic towards her. She can be there for Yang but chooses not to. And her own twin brother Qrow doesn’t really like her.

The things we saw of Raven then paint a picture of someone who doesn’t care about Yang in any meaningful way. Even though I’ve chosen to ignore the portal thing, I really shouldn’t because she showed the portals off since Volume 2, meaning since her physical introduction she ALWAYS had a path to Yang but never chose to. EF acts as though these aspects of Raven didn’t exist before Volume 4...when the barest minimum of thought shows them in before that.

‘Their biggest mistake was the Volume 2 end credits scene since it goes against everything they wanted to do with her as a character!’

Yeah...and you argue for including it even though your own source shows that the other writers KNEW this issue.

‘The first impression we got of her was her saving Yang’s life and then confronting her!’

Yeah, and guess what? Those are not inherently positive. She could have saved Yang to manipulate her and use her as a pawn for all we knew. For as many positive interpretations you can give for these actions, I can give a negative interpretation. All because these actions lacked context at the time so it was neither positive nor negative.

The context dictated what these actions were. And context defined them as ultimately positive...but flawed. Which you conflate with malice.

‘The Volume 2 scene was meant to be a kicking off point-’

For what? Once again, the scene is not inherently positive. Raven never shows care or love for Yang in that scene, all she shows is a desire to talk (which without context of what she says, what it means, what her intentions are, how informed she is and how she uses this opportunity- makes it neutral.)

After this you do this cartoonish ‘oh they changed direction!’ thing without a single shred of evidence beyond a letter made by a grief madden man which doesn’t even say what you are saying. You keep assigning direction to something without a clear direction.

‘So how do you address her Maiden plotline with her Yang plotline?’

You make it about her personal failing of trying to use power to hide her cowardice, show that she lies to herself as well as others to justify her actions and show how she fails? Like how they showed that her ditching Yang lines up with how she refuses to take action until backed into a corner, gets confronted repeatedly with her flaws as her daughter (someone far weaker and less informed) keeps going and the show forces her to see how she’s being cowardly?

‘Don’t do one.’

... Translation: ‘i didn’t like what the show did so I’m gonna do selective remembering to make it look like nothing happened. ... What? I did it with Adam.’

Regardless of how you feel about the plotlines- They were BOTH addressed. It wasn’t dropped, it wasn’t forgotten- It was resolved as I have shown multiple times here.

And here at 20:33 I’m ending this. It’s pretty damn clear that Erup-Cole is just ignoring whatever doesn’t fit his view. Instead of taking a look at what happened and trying to understand the pattern that comes, he’s making up a pattern and patchworking it together through cherry picking.

I see that he hasn’t changed from his Adam tantrum, because this is the EXACT SAME VIDEO, just stretched out and about Adam’s MILF form. And I do mean ‘Adam’s MILF form’ because I don’t think a character with such superficial similarities to him getting the same treatment is a coincidence.

Cole, you can’t try selling me something with THIS much bullshit. It’s like trying to serve me a maggot infested steak and telling me it’s well cooked. You’re full of shit and no matter how much you try to hide it, it won’t change.

Your headcanons are not canon and it’s your fault you take such offense. Deal with it.

[wasdname]

kakegurui anime vs manga pt. 2

ah, rei batsubami. she doesn’t exist in the manga, so every scene with her in the anime obviously isn’t in the manga. i think i will ignore the scenes with rei, since it’s anime-exclusive and everything else that happens isn’t really affected by rei being there or not. this post will mainly be comparing things that happened in the manga that didn’t happen in the anime for kakegurui xx (season 2). here’s a link to pt. 1 for season 1:

https://wasdname.tumblr.com/post/615241570260811776/kakegurui-anime-vs-manga-pt-1

LONG post with spoilers under the cut. season 2 had a lot more differences than season 1.

i’m going chronologically according to the anime. this might get confusing later, but bear with me. there’s a LOT to cover.

let’s jump into the very first two episodes of xx, when kirari announces there will be an election with the student council and the -bamis are introduced (ch. 34): 

the one person who would know about kirari’s family would be, obviously, sayaka, kirari’s secretary.  in the anime, sayaka has no clue who they are and kirari makes rei introduce them (more on that later).

after the introductions, we get reactions from each student council member. yuriko asks sayaka what she thinks about the situation:

and here we have the first major difference. in the manga, because tower of doors happened already, sayaka is much more confident and content both about herself and her relationship with kirari. she doesn’t need to understand everything that happens in kirari’s head, and sayaka knows that kirari doesn’t love or value sayaka any less because she doesn’t understand or for the things she chooses not to tell her. in the same way, kirari doesn’t understand sayaka all the time either, the difference being that kirari was never bothered by that as much as sayaka was bothered about it. SO, in the manga, we have a mutual understanding between the two characters now, thanks to tower of doors.

however, in the anime, sayaka reacts much differently and agrees with yuriko:

the fact that she doesn’t know who the -bami’s are also adds to pre-tower-of-doors sayaka’s growing list of “things kirari didn’t trust me enough to tell me”. they really want sayaka to suffer, huh?

i already wrote a bit about the meeting between kirari and terano (Ch. 36) in pt.1, so i’m going to skip over that to the next thing (but i’ll come back to this in a bit, it’s related, trust me), mary and ririka’s meeting (ch. 40). there’s a little bit of extra dialogue before mary takes off ririka’s mask:

it’s not that significant, but mary’s a little more animated in the manga, where in the anime she just kinda listens to what ririka’s saying without interrupting:

and then the mask comes off, and mary mentions ririka’s appearance:

“Kirari’s already exposed this face to the public. She doesn’t see it as any big secret.”

this line is interesting. i don’t know what to make of it yet. ririka is hiding her face, despite the fact that she claims kirari doesn’t care. so is ririka wearing the mask of her own volition? it’s easy to assume that kirari’s forcing ririka wear the mask, but that’s apparently not the case. i want to refer back to chapter 36 again, since it’s related here, the meeting between kirari, ririka, and terano:

notice how terano calls out ririka, not kirari, for doing this. why is that? was terano calling out ririka for being the one responsible for deciding when kirari and ririka switch identities, or was ririka just doing what kirari told her to and terano was calling ririka out for being kirari’s door-mat? or maybe i’m completely overthinking it (lol) and terano was just calling out ririka simply because she was the one in front of her? god i wish we could have seen how this scene played out.

we haven’t yet seen kirari and ririka interact at all, even in the manga. the mystery that is kirari and ririka’s relationship is one that i can’t wait to see unfold. 

onward. there’s extra insight into miri’s feelings in the manga during the gamble vs. mary and suzui, when one of the sisters has to lose (season 2 ep. 4, ch. 43):

poor miri :( in the anime, she kinda just does what miyo tells her and faints, skipping over her thoughts about her sister threatening her.

this one isn’t significant at all but i thought it was funny, the first rankings (Season 2 episode 5, Ch. 44):

#9, horo joumaru.... exists (lol). in the anime, he wasn’t even ranked, instead being replaced by sumika.

this is where things might get a little hectic, because there’s multiple things in this one episode that is spread out over multiple chapters in the manga, but bear with me. in the same episode, rin and sumika challenge kirari to a gamble. the anime cuts to the second half of the gamble, but in the manga, there’s a little bit more build up (ch. 50):

and then kirari immediately proceeds to tear apart rin’s lie. god, i love kirari so much

and it’s at this point where the manga and anime match up and kirari goes “all in” a million times.

next is the yumemite vs sumika gamble (still season 2 ep. 5, but ch.51). the reason the manga is ahead here is because the anime moves the greater good game to after this gamble, but it happens earlier in the manga (ch. 45-49). 

before the meeting, there was a scene that wasn’t included in the anime where mary and ririka are trying to find someone to gamble, which is why they weren’t in the pre-gamble meeting for the yumeko/yumemite vs sumika gamble. this is confusing because, chapter 46 (season 2 episode 5), the scene where mary decides she will work with ririka if she can win a gamble, didn’t happen yet. the anime kinda shoots itself in the foot here, and i’m still not sure why they decided to move things around they way they did, which resulted in the loss of this scene (maybe to build suspense for the greater good game? idk). i’m going to include it here, since it’s relevant, and we’ll go over the chapter 46 scene with mary/ririka in a bit when it happens in the anime. here’s the scene, at the very beginning of the yumeko/yumemite vs sumika meeting (ch.51):

“It’s a pity, but oh well...” the yumary ship is sailing

there was also a little bit more dialogue during the meeting where they’re discussing how to beat sumika that was kinda cute that didn’t make it into the anime:

“Let’s whip Kawaru Natari’s (i refer to her as sumika) butt!” “YEAH!” you dorks. i love them.

next is the scene with mary and ririka (back to ch. 46). mary’s a bit more aggressive in the manga:

 but the main difference in the manga is that ririka wants mary to make good on her promise earlier about punching her if she wins:

which is kinda intense. then mary yells at ririka which makes her cry (which doesn’t happen in the anime):

the end result is the same, though. mary wants ririka to gamble to prove herself, and if she wins....

we get this killer line from mary in the manga which didn’t make it in the anime, because the whole punching thing wasn’t even in the conversation:

mary implies that she’s going to punch kirari, since it’s heavily implied that ririka is under kirari’s orders to work with mary (but who knows? i don’t think ririka ever explicitly says who she’s working for, but correct me if i’m wrong, i could have missed it). man, i wish they kept this scene intact in the anime.

next, season 2, episode 6 (ch. 53), yumeko and yumemite vs sumika:

in the manga, when it’s revealed that yumemite broke her finger in an attempt to trick sumika with a reflex, the crowd disapproves. the anime doesn’t show this. this leads to a little extra dialouge:

sumika is actually impressed by yumemite’s resolve, and even encourages yumemite to continue to pursue her dreams. imo, this adds more to why yumemite doesn’t want to win against sumika in the last round, even though this small scene wasn’t exactly necessary for the point to get across (the anime cut it), it’s just nice that it’s there, because it makes the reader acknowledge sumika’s charm/manipulative-ness as well, and shows that yumemite is completely moved by sumika in every way. 

after round two, there’s another extra bit of dialogue that didn’t make it into the anime, which gives us a little more insight into what someone like sumika is doing here:

again, not that significant, but it’s there. she just wants to observe people, and what’s more “alluring” than her own crazy family? also, it doesn’t matter, but why are they naked?? i’m not complaining ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

it’s not that significant, but there’s another extra exchange between yumemite and sumika before the final round, when yumemite convinces herself she will lose in terms of talent no matter what: 

everything else that happens is essentially the same. 

mary is also shown checking up on this gamble in episode 5, at the beginning of all this:

in the same scene in the manga, she’s just walking with ririka behind her, without her phone:

good job, anime. they also show her checking her phone later in both the anime (at the very end of season 2 episode 6) and manga as well (ch. 55). it’s just nice because it shows that mary cares about her friends even if she can’t be there with them.

season 2 ep. 7 (Ch. 45-49), aka, the greater good gamble. there’s a little bit of dialogue the anime doesn’t show, about terano having to revise her plans (also, holy sh*t, when was terano expecting to defeat kirari?):

this isn’t too significant, but there’s a bit of extra dialogue about how many votes sumeragi earned and how she earned them when she’s conversing with manyuda that they didn’t show in the anime (ch.45):

there’s also a little bit of insight into sumeragi’s thoughts about terano and yumeko when they all get together for the greater good gamble, before they start playing (ch.45):

and again, some more extra pre-game stuff from ch.46, where we get to see a little more of ibara’s personality and sumeragi’s thoughts:

this isn’t that significant, but there’s a little extra dialogue from ibara and manyuda during the first turn when manyuda asks yumeko if she feels guilty about ruining people’s lives when she wins:

“You nervous? Want me to hold your hand? Hmmm?” ibara’s such a big goofball (lol)

there’s some more pages that include sumeragi’s thoughts during the game about the gameplay, but it’s not that significant. it’s mostly her saying things that we the readers already know, or her explaining the gameplay that’s happening. so i’m not going to include it since it doesn’t really give any insight into her character (it’s not that deep, really) and this post is getting long AF. 

after the first perfect round where everyone paid 5 coins in taxes, we get a very cute moment with ibara and manyuda in the manga that unfortunately didn’t make it into the anime (season 2 ep. 8, ch. 48):

i’m really liking ibara (lol).

that’s it, for everything that happened in the manga that didn’t happen in the anime. again, i excluded everything with rei, since she didn’t exist in the manga. i also excluded the scenes with sayaka that kinda build up to tower of doors (for example, season 2 ep. 8, at the very end where sayaka wants kirari to order her to get rid of terano) and the tower of doors arc itself (season 2 ep. 9-10), since it overlapped with season 1 stuff and i already covered that in my previous post. they didn’t change much in the tower of doors arc anyway (literally only the puzzles on the doors were a little different), it was very faithful to what happened in the manga (thank the lesbian godesses)

i encourage y’all to watch the anime if you’re curious about rei and how they integrated her into the story, as well as some extra scenes with kirari and sayaka (i mentioned one already, season 2 ep. 8 at the very end, there’s also two small scenes in episode 12 about rei) .

let me know if i missed anything, season 2 was difficult to do because it involved going back and forth through multiple chapters. if you’ve read all this, thanks for sticking with me til the end :)

[piercebaron]

episode 22 and adaptations

Actually, I do want to talk about it! I feel like episode 22 encapsulates my “weird” feelings towards the anime adaptation and how it has cut and reframed certain things. It’s not bad? Just weird. 

Spoilers for the Plunderer anime and for the manga, up to chapter 36. 

prefacing all of this with a general note: if you’ve only seen the anime, please read the manga. You’re valid, I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying the anime, but please read the manga because as horny as Minazuki is (and the man is . . . very, very much so), his art is also amazing and some of his panels deserve a second, third, or even a fourth look. The little details here and there actually crop up later and become important, and it’s just great. Chapters 46 - 53 are some of my favorite in media in a long, long time and I absolutely cannot wait until they’re released in an official capacity so I can fork over my money for them.

(seriously, you guys don’t know how hard I’ve tried to legally purchase volume 13. I want to give my money to this series so bad.)

This will also be a little scattershot and bounce around between other episodes, so apologies in advance. I’m trying to double-check chapters and whatnot as I go but if I get something wrong or miss something, please don’t hesitate to correct me in the replies! I’ve been watching the anime through Funimation’s site -- dubbed up through episode 11 and then subs from then on. 

Adaptations! Adaptations. By their very nature, they are not a 1:1 sort of thing. A lot of times, you’ll hear people say “read the book” when a movie adaptation of said book comes out. This is because by its very nature, a movie adaptation simply can’t capture everything in the book -- nor should it. Little things will slip through the cracks. This doesn’t make the movie adaptation bad, necessarily, just that it loses something. 

By the same token, if someone tried to do a direct 1:1 adaptation of a book where, say, the book is used as a script (which is an extremely bad idea for so many reasons, please have a script oh my goodness), chances are it’s not going to be a very good movie. There are musicals, for example, where when filmmakers try to make them into films, they flop because they’re not “cinematic.” The directors didn’t take into account the shift in mediums or, more likely, they sorely underestimated it. Understandable, since it’s two visual mediums, but still.

This is all leading up to me talking about Plunderer, I swear.

Manga to anime is a tricky, tricky thing. A manga has [X] amount of pages to work with, depending on if it’s a weekly or monthly series (or even some different increment!). The author, then, has to structure their chapters accordingly, moving things along to keep the reader interested while also controlling the ebb and flow of the story. Note how when the chapters end, they’re engineered to keep you wanting to read more!

Anime is similar in that respect, except the crew has 20-22 minutes to fill over the course of 12 to 24 episodes depending on the series order. Plunderer, ftr, had a 2 “cour” order from the get-go. They have to plan out the series as a whole, figuring out certain things like, where will the season end? What are the big beats, when will we hit them? Etc. It’s no coincidence that the “school” arc started right around episode 12, which is the halfway point of the series; note how there was that filler episode with Hina and Lynne cooking, after all. 

When I started watching the anime after reading the manga, I assumed they’d end the season with, roughly, the end of chapter 36. It’s a nice “resolution” to a lot of things that had been building up over the series. Hina and Licht are finally together, Licht has resolved to keep his mask off and face the future, Jail has a new direction, Lynne -> Licht is basically resolved, and Pele’s layers finally get peeled back just a bit. 

I saw some predictions online that they’d leave off at the cliffhanger in chapter 39 and while that’s a good guess, in terms of narrative ebb and flow for an anime, it doesn’t really line up. They’d really have to rush some stuff (Charles!! i love you, charles) to get there and in terms of a product that they want to be able to market in several territories, it makes more sense to give it some feeling of resolution. That said, what’s more likely along that vein is us potentially getting some sort of stinger at the end of episode 24 with one character talking to That Certain Character, and us getting a brief, shadowy shot of said character to make people go “ohhhhh shit, dude.” 

but idk this anime has made some strange choices.

Going into that! I’ve mentioned this here and there and talked about it with a friend, but the choices the anime has made in terms of adaptation is, uh, pretty strange at times. When changes get made, my instinct is to try and think through why they were changed and, ultimately, if it really affects the story in any way. If I went through the entire anime, it would be an extremely dull read; please know, however, that I am forever sad we missed Jail’s computer antics and Pele being the ultimate shit when it comes to Nana’s video, even if I understand why they were cut. 

That said, episode 22 is a perfect example of this, so uh. Let’s dive in, shall we?

The chapters that episode 22 covers are chapters 33 and 34. The events leading up to it are pretty much the same, but episode 22 contains some divergences. Going through them quickly:

We see more of Pele and Hina trying to stop Douan from going after Lynn.

Sonohara doesn’t show up during this confrontation. Hina gets her “the body was too clean” line instead.

Because Sonohara doesn’t show up, it’s Douan who attacks Lynn instead, causing her injuries with rocks. In the manga, Sonohara shows up, is drugged by Douan, and shoots a couple of bullets at Lynn.

Nana is just randomly lurking around?? In the manga, it’s clear she got caught at the same time. I’m really not sure what was up in the anime. Douan just yanks her out from behind a wall.

Douan sits with Nana, Hina, and Pele until morning, telling them he’ll kill them at dawn if Licht doesn’t show up. In the manga, he sits back and lets Sonohara terrorize them with a game of Russian Roulette, and Hina promptly (without words) calls Sonohara’s bluff.

Jail doesn’t show up in this episode at all. Instead, Hina gets his “did you check?” line.

We actually see Nana leave with Pele when he takes Lynn off. It looks like we’re going to actually see Doctor Pele in action, maybe? Hina is later sent off to help them.

Sonohara shows up towards the end, already drugged. Based on Douan’s line, it’s assumed that she was drugged off screen by the Secret Service. In the manga, he forcefully injects her.

The end of the episode sets up episode 23 to be Licht vs. Douan and Sonohara, with the preview showing Jail jumping into the fray.

whew, that’s a lot. 

I actually get why most of these changes were made! Setting up the penultimate episode of the series to be this big battle is a necessary change for an anime. And narratively speaking, this is much cleaner than it was in the manga, where Sonohara shows up briefly at the beginning of chapter 33, is drugged, and then basically exists to be crazy and antagonize people. It’s less balls in the air for the staff to have to juggle and for the audience to follow.

Douan’s character also gets some more depth. It’s funny because I feel like in the anime, he’s much more cruel than he was in the manga originally -- which is a feat, let me tell you. The anime flipped that in this episode, though, by not having Douan force the drugs onto Sonohara. 

The manga frames it as him doing it because he believes he knows what’s best for her, he’s trying to protect her in his own awful way, but it’s also, you know . . . nonconsensual as hell and gross on so many levels. This takes that off his shoulders which is a good change, honestly. 

But we lose some little character moments for the others in terms of streamlining. I think the thing that bums me out the most is Jail’s stuff. In the manga, after the confrontation with Alan, Jail steps in, calls Sonohara out and snaps her out of her drugged stupor without much of a fight (”without conviction, your bullets can’t pierce me”) and then slaps down the iron throne, telling Douan to shut up because Licht is coming. Chapter 34 ends with him just dead-eye staring at Douan like yeah, it’s annoying, but look. You’re the one who calls him a cockroach. Jail saying “did you check?” is a major mic drop moment and it’s basically when, from then on, Jail does not give a single flying fuck about the barons / aces. 

It definitely should be noted that some of these Jail moments will probably pop up in other ways in the next episode. I fully expect the bit about Sonohara’s bullets to come up, at least.

We lose out on Sonohara stuff too, though. She willingly throws herself into the lion’s den, shooting at Douan to distract him for long enough to allow Lynne to get away. It’s Sonohara who points out that Licht’s body was too clean -- something that makes more sense as someone who’s known him for 300+ years, knows what it means to be a baron / ace, and wasn’t immediately dragged off by the Secret Service. Her then terrorizing them while drugged is also a moment because when she forces Nana to play Russian Roulette, Hina immediately grabs the gun and points it at her head, firing all the “shots.” It’s empty, showing that despite the drugs, Sonohara didn’t want to kill them and Hina knew that all too well.

with all that said, I should note here that it’s entirely possible this scene will show up in some form next episode. Sonohara is still drugged and Hina, Nana, and Pele are all together in the bunker that is right nearby. I kind of doubt it given how the episode is framed and because narratively, it makes more sense to focus on the Licht vs. Douan and Sonohara -> Licht and Jail vs. Douan and Sonohara fight than to have Sonohara split off to randomly terrorize them, but. Like I said, this anime has made some strange choices.

Of course, character moments we get instead are Hina and even Pele being metal as hell. As much as I’m flapping my hands about losing the little character moments for Jail and Sonohara, it’s clear that they thought about how to utilize those moments while streamlining things, and they do work for Hina. And honestly, it’s really nice to see more stuff with her and Lynn? They get some cute panels later on in the manga (think chapter 55), but I like ladies and I like some lady solidarity. And Hina getting those little moments is on the same level as her straight up pointing a gun at her head all “you won’t kill me.”

and on a selfish note, I am actually really excited to see Pele tend to Lynn. The anime has been good about fleshing them out more and giving them little moments. My little shipper heart is delighted.

In the end, does it change much? Not really. These are small things, ultimately, just like how we didn’t lose much with the added filler and cut moments during the school arc. It’s all ultimately in the name of adaptation and while it’s weird, it’s not necessarily “bad.” It’s jarring for me as someone familiar with the manga (and having stared at some of these panels for so long, I’ve gotten really familiar with it), but thinking on it critically, yeah, I can see why. 

they better damn well do the “how did you know I could do surgery?” scene in the last episode though or I will be super bummed, okay. 

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x11 “Damaged Goods”

YIP, this one’s a good ‘un. nice and painful. also Dean is still bi

04:46pm

yeeeah this post is gonna be up really late

thank you @ex0skeletal​ for the download link!!!

i am anxious about this episode, partly because i saw a couple of light spoilers on my dash while looking for links (dean doesn’t say goodbye to cas, nick is in this episode a lot and cas isn’t) and also because i also saw a very unpleasant the-world-is-terrible post while scrolling also, so i’m just generally anxious

however, during my long wait, i cleaned my bedside drawer/nightstand

here’s a before and after ‘cause i love that shit and find it calming and satisfying so you might like it too idk

-

04:53pm

okay here goes!!!

-

04:57

all the lights in the bunker’s library are out except one

gives it focus, intent, and a sense of smallness and intimacy

good

-

05:01

he looks so tired

i bet the book says he can kill michael if he kills himself :/

-

05:02

OH NO

..........i also hug my sister like this

and this is a beautiful shot with beautiful lighting

BUT OH NO

-

05:04

lil rainbow on the bookshelf??

istg someone in the bunker arranges goes around arranging books in rainbows

100% sure it’s either dean or cas

cas because he’s autistic and i’m autistic and i arrange things in rainbows at every given opportunity

or dean because it would be way too obvious if he organised his extensive closet in rainbows and he needs a symbolic queer outlet

ALSO

THE GREEN IS MISSING

WHICH MEANS..... THE GAY RAINBOW IS ALMOST COMPLETE

AND THE GREEN IS DEAN bc of his fanfiction eyes

@ META WRITERS DO YOU CONCUR 

-

05:08

“welcome to swan lake” on the sign in the background

in case anyone forgot dean is a huge fan of ballet

which is either a lesbian “black swan” thing or a gay thing because of the modern swan lake version where they’re both dudes

either way, QUEER

-

05:100

“hungry beaver”

okay but like

that sounds dirty

god i love when there’s a funny bonus story in the background

-

05:14

i love love love how much he cares about her and how well she knows him in return

but aaaaah this feel so much like a suicidal goodbye

-

05:17

mary’s so pretttyyyyy

that shirt really suits her

also she’s shooting pumpkins.... i know this was filmed in fall/autumn, but is it meant to be SET in autumn or is it current-time?

-

05:21

i wonder what the next shot is going to be, and what dean’s reaction will be

i genuinely could not guess

FINGERS CROSSED HE LIKES IT

it kind of looks like cas with a mustache

and “hendrix” in the background like jimmy hendrix

aND ONE OF THOSE ANGLE CORNER THINGS

“STRAIGHT” AAHAHA SURE. BUT WITH A CROOKED EDGE

ie. not straight

EDIT: “HEN” CROSSED OUT

= ROOSTER = COCK

SO GAY

-

05:23

“well donna certainly has a type”

UM

HAVE YOU CHECKED YOURSELF LATELY

-

05:25

the fact that dean does whatever he’s doing while there are half-naked cowboys all around him i can’t fucking deal

-

05:27

THIS FEELS

SO

SYMBOLICALLY

GAY

LIKE SO MUCH

and also maybe the sparks = cas because of thAT ONE TIME SPARKS FLEW WHEN HE MET DEAN

-

05:29

please don’t die

edit: HUZZAH

-

05:39

how has nobody ever shown donna a picture of the guy the devil was possessing for so long ??? wow

-

05:43

every story from dean’s childhood is so sad....... and yet he laughs

-

05:46

he’s so cute

and definitely the little spoon

-

WHJAT THE FUCK IS THAT Lamp

donna whY DO YOU HAVE THAT

-

05:54

oh right dean’s planning to free michael and put him in an enochian puzzle box i guess

but did mary do this box thing before or after she died? 

edit: so who paid for the storage facility all this time ??

-

06:00

dean: “when people are past the point of saving, maybe you need to learn to walk away”

oh no is he talking about himself?

nooo

-

06:06

YEEE DONNA SHOOTING NICK IN THE LEG

she deserves that satisfied smirk

-

06:09

dean: “charter a boat to take me out to the pacific”

oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-

06:13

it ends

ughygfhfgh that was a lot

what an ending :c

people don’t like that dean didn’t say goodbye to cas or jack... but doesn’t that just mean that dean counts them in the same box as sam? they could talk him out of it? i see it that way, anyway

yeah cas wasn’t in this but it makes sense why not (although it would’ve been nice to know where he is, dammit)

and the thing with nick was actually satisfying to me because he’s basically going to jail now, right? human jail? so that storyline is over (i hope. there’s usually two halves of the season, and this was the plotline arc for part 1, yes?)

however, from this episode we can only infer that “nothing’s getting out of this fancy magic box” can be beaten by one (1) electric drill

i can’t imagine why there would be two magic boxes in one episode if not to make that point

hmmmm

9.5/10, missing cas, but otherwise excellent

actually you know what?? my biggest disappointment was when dean saw the posters of topless cowboys and said donna had a type instead of just saying nothing or smiling or shrugging and getting to work

but......... on the same hand, he said it OUT LOUD

kind of like he was ...telling himself, reminding himself that it was donna’s stuff? talking over the voice in his head that wanted to say something else?? nobody really talks like that out loud, as far as i know... or maybe just i don’t

anyway he’s bi and likes sexy cowboys just as much as donna, if not more, and nothing is ever gonna un-canon that fact

but also ANOTHER reading is maybe that yeeeah he finds cowboys hot but also he’s so gone on cas that he no longer cares

his ability to find other non-loved people attractive is at zilch. i mean, with an episode about dean doing all the things he loves, eating his favourite food and seeing his favourite people, he did a (un)surprising lack of sex and flirting. conclusion: he no longer cares about a fantasy, he has what he needs in the people who already love him <3 (*cough* cas is his huckleberry *cough*)

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 1x07 Walkin’ After Midnight

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) I don’t know why Wynonna is so surprised to find Doc shacking up in the woods. He’s a pariah. He’s not a person and he’s not a revenant, and his loyalties only lie with himself. He’s not a villain, but he’s not a good guy either. He’s just trying to save his own ass.

2) Oh, wow, Mattie (is that the Blacksmith’s name? that’s what Constance called her) has a breast tumor… and the witch just offered to cure it for her. It really takes a strong person to refuse such an offer. Constance also offered to make her “young again.” How old is she?

3) Constance is not fucking around, though…

Bitch, you need a makeover.

4) Doesn’t Waverly think she should keep that skull somewhere that is not the bar’s counter?

5) Is Dolls acting all flirty and fun because of the drug he has in his system?

6) Oh, no…

But I liked how sure the Blacksmith is that Waverly is going to end the witch.

7) Who is Waverly throwing a party for? And I don’t understand why she insists on flaunting that skull everywhere and to everyone! Girl, didn’t you get the memo? You’re IN DANGER because of it! But she carries it around everywhere as if it was an Academy Award or something.

8) Oh, I really thought Doc was going to keep his mouth shut about what he knows, but here he is, warning Waverly about the fact that Bobo’s looking for a skull to complete his skeleton puzzle…

9) I really liked how he doesn’t understand how phones work and the way he said “telephony” instead of “telephone.” It makes sense that he wouldn’t understand modern technology, doesn’t it? And now he’s staring at the skull on the mantel. What are you going to do, Doc? I’m rooting for you…

10) Wait, what? Engagement party? Didn’t she break up with Champ?

11) Oh, Doc, she’s inviting you to move to their land and you’ll “consider” it? You really are in no position to be picky, you were sleeping in the woods and you almost got your throat slit! Just say yes, move to the barn so that Wynonna can sneak there in the middle of the night and you can go for round two.

12) So… Dolls has been removed from his position because of the drugs thing, right?

13) Oh, okay, she was throwing an engagement party for a friend who doesn’t seem to be much of a friend…

14) I stand corrected, she’s a fucking asshole:

I mean, I'm not trying to be mean here, but there aren't exactly a bunch of dudes lined up waiting to date an Earp.

15) Nicola is super into Waverly and I’m here for it.

Just look at her eyes when Wynonna says that Waverly should be hanging out with her.

16) Doc joining the girls for the engagement party and helping Waverly look good in front of these idiots who do not deserve her making an effort is the best thing ever.

17) Bless the Blacksmith. She’s fucking dying and yet she found strength in herself to go and warn Waverly about the witch, even though the reason she’s dying is that Waverly sought her out in the first place. I really hope Doc does as she says and tries to take Waverly away. But I’m also hoping that the witch arrives and murders that blonde bitch.

18) Fuck…

She used her last breath to instruct Doc on what to do to defeat the witch. He’d better be worthy of this information.

19) Fuck, he’s not taking Waverly away.

20) So, on top of everything, there’s someone using hellfire to do surgery on girls and remove their organs. Cool. Cool cool cool.

And the girl has a welt with the shape of a spade. Exactly like the symbol on the 7th revenant’s cane. So how long till Wynonna put these two obviously related facts together?

21) This episode is making me super tense! With them at the morgue and someone else in the building, and Waverly and Doc with the engagement party with an uninvited guest… I’m all jittery. They’re building the suspense very well.

22) Fuck!

23) Most bizarre engagement party ever.

24) HELL YEAH!!

Damn, that was sick!

25) Yep, Dolls is being deployed. To Sweden, apparently.

26) This kind of reminded me of Cordelia calling Buffy and the Scoobies out in season 1…

People getting eaten by something? Call Wynonna. Guy gets murdered by a man in a mirror? Yeah, Wynonna to the rescue.

It really doesn’t take a genius to notice there is a connection, but most people choose to turn a blind eye.

27) This is a great line to quote out of context!

28) OMG

DOC: After she made me ageless…

STEPH: Ageless?!

DOC: She stuck me at the bottom of an old well - to spend my immortality.

STEPH: Immorta…?

DOC: Rotting in the ground. And then Wynonna showed up to retrieve Wyatt's gun and left me a rope dangling, and here I am.

STEPH: Dangling? 

See what I did there? 😊

29) Is the witch going to use the blacksmith’s body to get herself invited into the house?

30) I loved every second of Waverly’s meltdown…

WAVERLY: Stephanie, you're right, it's all true! I am a freak! Wynonna's a freak! Doc's a freak!

DOC: Hey now!

WAVERLY: But I'm a freak who knows that the most lethal place to stab someone bigger than you is through the ear. Yes, I'm the freak who knows that witches can't cross lines of salt, which is pretty handy right now. And I'm the freak who, six months ago, would have been too polite to mention that that big ole diamond on your finger, not only is it cubic zirconium, but it is ugly as shit!

STEPH: You bitch!

WAVERLY: So for once in your life, please, just be smarter than you look and just shut up!

31) omfg what is this episode!

Is she raising an army of fucking zombies?

32) Another iconic line!

I’m fucking dying!

33) It wasn’t as satisfying as I’d expected, but I’ll take it.

And now she’s another zombie. Cool. Cool cool cool cool. 

34) What the fuck is this episode, ISTG

35) Oh, lord, they kept their sisters’ room intact. Ouch. 

36) Oh, Chrissy is actually super nice? Also, I’d totally forgotten she was still in the house hahaha!

37) I knew she was going to bash the skull! It’s interesting that the reason the witch made Doc immortal and threw him in the well was that Wyatt Earp loved him. I guess if she couldn’t kill Wyatt, torturing Doc forever was the next best thing.

38) So… for someone who’s supposed to have the best aim, Doc didn’t, like, have the best aim? At least he scared her away.

39) Oh, shit…

WAVERLY: You do love her after all.

DOC: Love? Well, that's a bit rich.

WAVERLY: There. You wanted to know what your tell at poker is? Simple. You're always, always lying.

Wow, that was a very powerful moment between these two. I wasn’t expecting to be so captivated by their interaction, and I thought Doc’s interactions were going to be mostly limited to Wynonna, but I find his and Waverly’s relationship just as, if not more, interesting. I had a feeling Wynonna was going to be the reason he’d strive to change, but it might be Waverly, and I dig that.

I also liked how she describes Doc and herself as the scorpion and the frog. She knew that she would get stung, yet she trusted him anyway. See, Doc’s nature might be to lie, deceive and betray, but Waverly’s is to trust and give people second chances. Here’s to hoping some of it rubs on Doc.

40) It’s nice to see Wynonna has decided to come clean and open up to Nicole. She’s earned it, and Wynonna definitely could use a friend.

41) Sparks are flying…

42) Is Dolls going to turn Doc in in order to save the division?

43) Wait…

Does this mean that Doc and Constance are somehow linked and that he’ll die if she dies? Is that the real reason she threw him in the well? I know he’s ageless, but maybe he’s not literally immortal? And if they’re linked, then that means if something happens to Doc she’ll die and vice versa.

44) HOLD UP!!

Where the fuck are Wynonna and Nicole?? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??

45) Wow, what an episode! I literally commented every minute of it? I’m super into this show and I really can’t wait to see where this season is going!

46)  Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[arielmagicesi]

often when a series ends and especially when there is such a show-stopping ending, before I can analyze how I feel, I have to first list everything that actually happened. Now I don’t know if Steven Universe is actually over but I just. what the fuck that was too much I didn’t have time to react before getting slapped with something else

spoilers below obviously

I was tempted to start listing from the point of “Gem Drill” because I’ve heard that only a year has passed since then and I mean, what a fucking wild year for poor Steven. I’m also tempted to start listing from “A Single Pale Rose” because shit moved FAST starting from there. But I’m just gonna list everything that happened in “Change Your Mind.”

It’s kind of what makes me suspect that this is the final episode of the entire series, because although plot pacing has been accelerating throughout the entire series (going from “Steven learns how to bubble” taking 10 episodes, to “diamond showdown” being a minor subplot of 1) and although the plot pacing went super-speed for this whole diamond arc, this episode shoved EVERY LAST THING IN.

stuff that could’ve waited (Lars and Sadie’s reunion) and stuff that should’ve taken vastly longer if it even should’ve happened at all (White Diamond’s lightning-speed reformation) was all put into one episode. now, it was deftly combined, and I liked almost every individual part, and there was some possibly-unintended comedy to it all (”she’s GOOOOONE!!!!” and White Diamond demonstrating the big ship’s pussy-out look, etc) but holy hell I would have loved for it to have gone at a slower pace so that they could have explored some of the stuff.

[also, my ability to react to things is lessened. meeting Sunstone would’ve been, I’m not joking, the highlight of my week just two years ago. now it wasn’t even the coolest of the fusions we met, and meeting the fusions was an incredibly minor point in the episode. also i have other things in my life now lol]

obviously, part of this pacing is due to the airing schedule of the show. on a normal airing schedule, I’d feel emotionally exhausted- this would have been, what, a month after the Pink-Diamond-is-Rose-Quartz reveal? but because this show airs in the dumbest way possible, we have like five hundred years between plot points. however, Steven did not? Pearl did not? Garnet did not? CONNIE did not? how the fuck are they getting along?

secondly, this was all in one episode, so yeah holy shit, some whiplash occurring for this here viewer

(one final note: I now take back getting annoyed that we got Watermelon Moana last week because it was so gentle compared to this)

anyway, my promised list of Crazy Shit that happened in one 40-minute episode:

1. Steven gets a flashback that tells him about a previous transgression of Pink’s, where we meet some other aliens. pointing to an old rebellion?

2. we see another Steven identity crisis with him flashing through Steven-Pink-Rose

3. Steven convinces Blue Diamond that she’s abusive and she immediately realizes the error of her ways and decides to help him and Connie out. (also, Connie talks to Diamonds a lot, I love her. damn girl)

4. we retrieve the bubbled Crystal Gems

5. Yellow and Blue have a big public diamond showdown

6. we discover that Yellow Diamond has emotions and tears, and feels pressured. shocking. if only the planets she’d colonized had thought to sit her down and chat

7. Yellow decides to join Steven’s side as well

8. they make a plan to escape via the leg-ship

9. White Diamond decides to show up and do her Creepy Act and she lands her big torso on the legs (confirming the obvious theory that the ships act as one big body)

10. Diamond Showdown Part 2, where Yellow and Blue attempt to fight White

11. Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot return. We see Lapis and Peridot’s new forms.

12. Bismuth has fixed the arm ships and upper-cuts an upper-crust for the first time in her life in a really cool way.

13. Steven manages to say words to White Diamond, and so do Yellow and Blue.

14. White Diamond GREY-IFIES BLUE AND YELLOW DIAMOND

15. which also means we find out exactly what the fuck is wrong with White Pearl (also may I say, this is something I wrote about in my fic, accessible on my AO3, linked in my About)

16. Steven falls dramatically with the gems of his friends in his arms

17. Steven finds out he can (and decides to) retrieve gems from their gems by fusing with them

18. We see Smoky Quartz form mid-air

19. We see Amethyst’s new form

20. Steven fuses with Pearl for the first time ever, and we see Rainbow Quartz 2.0 for the first time

21. We see Pearl’s new form

22. We see what a pink diamond/rose quartz forms with a garnet for the very first time

23. Steven’s own first fusion with Garnet

24. Sunstone attempts to start shit with the giant robot

25. We see Garnet’s new form

26. Bismuth presents the replacement for the Sword of Rose Quartz, as a gift to Connie

27. We see the full-blown temple fusion for the very first time ever

28. Steven has his first fusion with all the Crystal Gems

29. We meet Obsidian and she succeeds in starting shit with the giant robot

30. We see Bismuth, Peridot, Lapis, and Connie all contribute to the fight and survive horrifyingly dangerous scenarios. (still gotta wonder what the HELL Connie’s mom was thinking... she went from not letting her kid watch inaccurate TV shows to letting her nearly die countless times in outer space at the hands of alien dictator robots)

31. let me just add, I <3 Connie and she deserves the world. bravest kid in the universe

32. the Crystal Gems find a way to invade the robot

33. the four main Crystal Gems face up against White Diamond herself and her grey-ified pearl and grey-ified fellow diamonds

34. White reveals a bit to us via villain-monologue that we probably could’ve guessed already: she wants every gem to be flawless, to be identical to her essentially yet subservient- which she considers to be synonymous with flawlessness- and her theory about the way the colors of the diamonds informs their personalities. Including that Pink is part of White, despite White’s dislike of this fact.

35. White grey-ifies the Crystal Gems

36. Connie arrives, also fully ready to fight this bitch

37. the grey-ified Crystal Gems restrain Steven and Connie

38. Steven gets to have that full-fledged conversation he wanted with White, I guess

39. BIGGEST ACTUAL REVEAL OF THE EPISODE: We find out what happens when Steven’s gem is removed from his stomach!!! that’s been a question since episode ONE I think

40. we get to see a Pink Steven and a Human Steven, which is pretty cool. I compare it to what might happen if you got split into What You Got From Your Dad and What You Got From Your Mom

41. this is just my theory, but we find out, I think, that Steven’s general strength in everyday movement comes from diamond strength and that he turns weaker than a baby without it, which makes sense because he’s always had it

42. White Diamond attempts to grey-ify Pink

43. we find out, as Pink Steven so eloquently says, that Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz really, really is gone. she died in childbirth essentially. I think he might someday manage to access her full memories but I don’t think that persona is ever returning

44. we see what Steven’s bubbles/shield would look like in full diamond form

45. the badass scene of Connie CARRYING STEVEN TO HIMSELF?

46. we discover that either Steven is the most special boy ever, or White’s powers are no match for love or some shit

47. we get to see Steven...  fuse with himself?

48. everyone gets un-greyified. Including White Pearl. the white-pearl-is-old-pink-pearl theory is confirmed, though I think it may have been in a flashback in “Familiar” and hinted at during Steven’s flashback at the start of the episode when Blue said “she’ll take away your pearl”

49. we see Steven/Pink’s full empathy powers in play, I think? that’s what happened when he pink-ified the whole group? INCLUDING WHITE?

50. Steven gives White Diamond one of his lightning-round therapy sessions, and she decides to Be Nice Now, Actually

51. that’s right. THERE ARE NO VILLAINS I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND

52. the ENTIRE GROUP GOES TO EARTH

53. meaning that White leaves Homeworld (and “her own head”) for the first time in eons, according to the other Diamonds anyway

54. we get to see Sadie and the Cool Kids’ new looks. minor I know, but Jenny looks great in a suit!

55. also minor but cool: they’re covering “Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart”

56. for the second time in like 2 weeks, Diamond Ships interrupt a townwide Beach City gathering

57. we find out that Beach City is full of fucking idiots who thought that the ship was like, a grand finale to the concert? instead of full-on panicking mayhaps? cause every time this shit happens it usually leads to mayhem?

58. the Off-Colors, coincidentally, finally arrive on Earth at the exact same time

59. Lars meets Lion for the first time as Pink Zombie Brothers

60. Lars and Sadie reunion, in which we also find out that Sadie is like a legendary figure for the Off Colors

61. THE OFF COLORS MEET THE FUCKING DIAMONDS

62. Greg and Steven reunite

63. The Diamonds meet and finally heal the Centipeedles

64. The Diamonds visit Rose’s fountain and get it working as a four-diamond extravaganza event

65. every gem from the temple is brought there to be healed. we see the healing of, I assume, p much every monster we’ve met

66. we get to see the Heaven and Earth Beetle, who are pebbles too, and lesbians!

67. callback to the memories of the four Diamonds having swimming pool time

68. Jasper gets healed and naturally tries to destroy Steven immediately, then looks up to see all three of her diamonds. She and Amethyst get to bond, I guess.

69. Callback to the intro itself with the “We Are the Crystal Gems” song and all the new Crystal Gems chilling on the beach

70. New song, “Change Your Mind” and it’s cute obviously

My feelings on the episode? So besides what I wrote above the list, re: whiplash, I think that from a realistic standpoint and a writing-fantasy standpoint, it is some wild shit. For all three diamonds to achieve a FULL redemption arc in one episode? Too much. For there to be NO villains? Come on. And for the lesson to be, we should just give heartless dictators love and they’ll grow hearts? Worrying.

However, as I reached the end of the episode, I thought about a time in high school when my teacher asked me which superpower I’d want, and then annoyed the class by seeming morally superior by saying he’d want to speak every language. Thinking on it later, I thought- I’d want more than every language. I’d want the ability to TRULY understand others, and to make them TRULY understand me- and each other. Because yes, OF COURSE every conflict can be boiled down to a lack of understanding, a lack of empathy. If we had superhuman empathy on our side, we really could do away with violence. But in the real world, we don’t have superhuman empathy, we just have regular empathy, and some don’t even try to use that. So saying “have a little empathy for your oppressors” is ghoulish.

But Steven DOES have superhuman empathy. In fact, all the Diamonds do. Blue can make others cry, White can make others be identical to her, and Yellow can give others fear and command. And they use it only for evil. But Pink can make others understand. And she had only used it for frivolous things until she finally combined with a non-gem life form. Then, human empathy met superhuman empathy, and did what it had to do. THAT is how Steven defeated the Diamond Reign of Terror.

That being said: I don’t know if the target audience of kids really caught that nuance, considering that the episode went so fucking fast. Additionally: some of that superhuman empathy could’ve been pointed at the legions of crushed, oppressed little gems- which I know it was- but the focus was SO intensely on, like, “poor Yellow never got enough credit for being SO good at imperialism!”

So yeah. Both writing-wise, pacing-wise, plot-wise, message-wise... I did love it, as I do the whole show, but I also thought it could’ve benefited from some space, some criticism, and some better organization down at Cartoon Network’s scheduling department.

Art-wise, well I’m not an animation expert, but Obsidian can get it <3 and I loved the designs for everything.

Character-wise... I’ll have to think on it more.

OK THE END I’M DONE REACTING TO STEVEN UNIVERSE. SHOW’S OVER

[aion-rsa]

The Art of Bringing a Shadow and Bone Scene to the Screen

https://ift.tt/33t8mqU

This Shadow and Bone article contains major spoilers for Episodes 5 & 6.

As the director behind Episode 5, “Show Me Who You Are,” and 6, “The Heart is An Arrow,” of Shadow and Bone, Mairzee Almas was behind the camera for some of the major turning points of Season 1. These episodes see Alina and General Kirigan’s romantic interlude, Baghra’s reveal that Aleksander is actually the Black Heretic, and the coming together of the Crows and Alina for the first time. It’s when the season really kicks into a higher gear. Den of Geek talked to Almas—whose work you have previously seen on shows like The 100, Outlander, the Arrowverse, Jessica Jones, Shadowhunters, and Smallville—about bringing the Grishaverse, and some of these emotional and game-changing moments, to the screen.

The Work of a TV Director

“When you are a director for hire, you come in and receive the script and your job is to present the visual interpretation of the script,” explains Almas, when asked to explain the job of a TV director in simple terms. “As one of the collaborative artists on set, I take the script, I break it down, I think about the character journeys. I try to elevate the material, try to elevate the script, try to support the actors in creating their very best performances, understanding that they have a journey to make in your episode or episodes.” 

Of course, for every director, the process of interpreting said script looks a little bit different. For Almas, she works by grounding the visual interpretation in the performances of the actors. “I start from an acting point of view, a performer’s point of view. It’s all about the performance. It starts and really ends with that. Everything else that we do is to support that proponent and to tell a story in a compelling way, right?”

For Almas, this means sitting down with the actors to discuss and articulate their character’s journey in the episode or episodes: “I would sit with the actors and say ‘How are you different at the end of the episode than you were from the beginning? Where are the moments where your character has agency, where they had a decision they could make? They could go left, they could go right, but they made this choice instead of that choice. And where are these big pivotal moments for your character?’” 

The script is the source from which all other action will come, but Almas says the moments to be captured on screen are often up for some interpretation, which gives the director and actors space to collaborate on a specific vision.

“We’ll work it out so that we’re in a collaborative agreement,” explains Almas. “Where are these moments? And then I might say, ‘Oh, it’s on this line’ or ‘It’s around in here where you make a decision,’ and the actor may say ‘No, no, I think I made it earlier. It was over here.’”

Once the director and actor agree on an interpretation of the scene, Almas says she will design the shots and blocking to support that moment.

“I will always try to find a way to have the camera support the subtext of the scene, and make sure that everything we are doing, whether it’s the blocking or the camera work, are really supporting what’s going on underneath the scene.”

On that note, let’s dive into some of the scenes from Episodes 5 and 6 that Almas directed. I encourage you to watch the scenes before or after reading Almas’ commentary. I’ve included the time codes for reference.

The Palace Party Scene

Episode 5, 20:20 – 27:22

Den of Geek: This seems like a massive scene. Was this one of the largest scenes that you had to direct in the two episodes?

Mairzee Almas: Yes. It was a big scene with a lot of people, with a lot of moving parts. This was of course was done in the beautiful castle of Keszthely in Hungary. Many of our background performers did not speak English, but, honestly, people in Europe manage thousands of languages, it seems, and we North Americans can barely stumble through one.

You had a really long shot coming into the party too.

Yeah, so big steadicam shot to try and feel the energy of all of the people and see some of the beautiful costumes that Wendy [Partridge] has managed to get, to create.

How many extras did you have? I mean, I’m guessing this is a few different sequences this party altogether, but it seems like there’s a lot of people.

There’s a lot of people, I think we had somewhere 250, something like that. 

And this is also really exciting because it’s really the first time we see the Six of Crows and the Shadow of Bone world coming together and the adaptation. Was that something that you guys talked about or that you really thought about when you were directing this?

Yes. For sure. Whenever we were bringing these two different literary worlds together it was important and fun and new and fresh, which was great fun. The Crows, of course they are the the heist vibe, a little like Oceans 11.

Yeah, I’m seeing that in the format of what you’re viewing here, with that quick pan cut.

Yeah. That was something that Lee [Toland Kreiger] had started in the pilot with this idea of a whip pan, it’s called, to go from one thing to the next, which is really fun and gives you that immediacy. We just did one right there. When we were going between storylines, between storyline characters, it was very good.

Something else that stood out to me about this episode and this scene, I think is we get more of Aleksander’s point of view. I feel like this is the episode that you have to kind of sell the viewer on Aleksander before you get that real turn. What was your view on that?

Like any good antagonist, he truly believes 100% in what he’s doing. And I think the character believes that what he is doing is the right thing and the right thing for the people, for his people, the Grisha. And I think he has been waiting for Alina for hundreds of years. He’s been waiting for this woman to be his equal, to be someone who understands him, to be his partner. And he is lonely and he has a deep ache for her. So he’s not playing it like just a hollow manipulator who doesn’t care. He has genuinely been waiting. And I think that the more the actor, Ben [Barnes], the more he is able to invest that character with a need, the more real it is, the more loving it is.

Yeah. He does a good job.

He does a good job. Yeah. And I was sowing a little bit of seeds in there with Genya and David as well.

Yeah. They don’t get a lot of screen time in the first season, but I know that a lot of fans of the book are really excited to see their dynamic. And there’s a cool shot of the Crows with the chandelier in the foreground right there.

Yeah. Thank you. And that was just to show that Kaz’s skepticism about Alina being a saint and the consummate con man doesn’t believe anything. 

Alina is having quite a growth in this episode and I believe that Kirigan wants the best for everyone. He wants the best for his people and he wants the best for her. And he wants finally, finally, he wants to have a partner.

As you were saying before you had those conversations, I’m assuming, with Ben and Jessie [Mei Li] as you were directing these scenes.

Absolutely. And I think when we get later to the scene, when we were talking about the kiss and then Marko’s entrance, there’s a real adult kind of turn to that, as opposed to the childhood sweethearts that she had before. So things were changing for her and this is… we’re seeing it here is her becoming an adult, essentially growing up and starting to own her power. And as my grandmother would say “Settling into her hips.” Becoming a full grown adult woman, this is her beginning of that.

She seems so happy here. It’s kind of it’s sad knowing what’s going to happen after, but it’s also still great.

I mean, it’s the story about outcasts and people outside who have no place. And she’s finally feels like she has somewhere to be in and a community to be a part of. Finally, finally, finally, only to have it torn away from her again.

So logistically when you’re filming a scene like this, with the lighting changing abruptly while the Grisha do their thing, do you have different colored lights on set?

We did. And my director of photography is this incredibly talented man named Aaron Morton, who was fabulous. So we had a crane for the camera in this space, but we also had a crane with lights on it so that the lights could shift over top of people. So we could do both for the red lights when the Inferni were playing with fire, but also for Alina’s display. So we were moving light above and over people. Then the visual effects adjusted it and sort of gave it a texture. But really the moving of the light was done practically.

I’m going to end here, for this scene, but this was one of my favorite shots, coming in slowly on Inej and seeing Amita’s performance, I think it’s so beautiful as she gets to see Alina as the Sun Summoner.

Yeah. This is somebody, a character who is deeply religious, but if you think about what her background has been and how she has been abused and in the Menagerie, and what kind of terrible experience she’s had without any control in her life or any say in what has happened to her or her body, you have a sense that her religion is what has gotten her through to get to this moment to, to be alive, to still be alive.

That Darklina Scene & Baghra’s Reveal

Episode 5, 39:28- 46:31

OK, now we’re back with Kirigan and Alina, and they’re just having a nice time. Yeah. This is a beautifully shot scene and you have this, this moment coming up where you actually see their shadows on the wall behind them. Could you talk about that?

We have a bit of flares with Alina because she is the Sun Summoner, but yeah, I orchestrated the shadow. I mean, I had to choreograph the actors to find that shadow moment, and bless their little cotton socks because it’s sort of an artificial bit of movement for them. But it worked for them both. And I was curious if people would even see that if anybody would notice it or not.

https://falllingthroughspace.tumblr.com/post/649550888476737536/light-and-shadow

I’ve definitely seen people talking about it on social media.

Oh, they have?

Yeah, for sure. And then talk about the logistics of like a kiss as well. Because it seems like another thing to stage. Not to take the romance out of it…

Right, but it is a stage and you’ll see exactly where his hands are and what he’s doing, and he’s picked her up and he’s put her on the table. I mean, they are about to escalate it to where perhaps she has never been. And this is part of her becoming an adult and then they knock on the door being interrupted again. I go through it with the actors, exactly where the camera’s going to be, what I expect from them, what they’re going to do. And we make sure that they are 100% comfortable with everything and it’s done in a way that it’s private with them, with me and both of them and then me and separately with them, just to chat and make sure that they feel comfortable with what we’re talking about doing. And does it feel right for the character and not gratuitous in any way?

I do love that moment right there when you hold on Alina, and he comes back in frame kind of like a surprise, to kiss her again…

So that was a Ben Barnes special. Ben said “I really want to do this.” 

And then see how, what I was doing here with the cameras, trying to do a little bit of a wrap around her, letting her be a little overwhelmed by her background. And in the kissing scene, in this whole sequence before Baghra comes in, the camera is wrapping a little bit. And that, again, makes the background around her feel like it’s moving. So she’s a little unsettled, things are happening pretty quickly to her. And it helps that something about subtext where we as an audience can feel what she’s feeling a little bit. 

So a director’s job is not just to dictate the script as written out, it’s to try and find a way to take the audience on this roller coaster ride that the characters are on. And, as a director, with the script of course, sometimes the audience should be with the character, sometimes they’re behind the character, sometimes they’re ahead of the character, but we plot that very carefully and make sure that we’re maximizing the emotional experience for the audience. And really that’s the most important thing is they really have to have a visceral experience. And so whenever you can join in with Alina and what’s going on for her and then to have it so rudely stripped away from her with Baghra coming in…

Such a tonal shift. From Alina’s point of view, everything is going so well with Kirigian, and then we’re in this dungeon-like hallway.

Right, and it’s so much fun because you can see that there’s respect for Baghra, but at the same time, Alina is like “What’s the matter with you? It’s been too hot in your hut, your brain isn’t working, you know, come on. What, what’s the matter with you?”

She’s frustrated.

She’s very frustrated. She’s waiting… he said he’d be right back and then Baghra’s there talking about the Heretic.

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Yeah. It’s a real shift for her. And it’s a real shift for the viewer.

Yeah. And then she finally stops Baghra, she jumps in front of her and stops her. “What are you doing? Stop.” And then Zoe Wanamaker—whom I love, absolutely love. I just want a whole spin-off series just with Zoe. Baghra’s fireside chats…

I would love that.

And this is really a lot of exposition that happens in the scene, but you do it so well, and these actors are selling it so well that it doesn’t feel like you’re just listening to information.

Right. And one of the challenges to this… Thank you for saying that. One of the big challenges to this scene is we’ve just built all this time for Alina to start to fall in love with Aleksander. And I can’t have her appear fickle, so somebody comes along and says “Oh, but he’s really a bad guy.” And then she has to believe him or her, rather, she has to fall into that immediately. Like why? And so Baghra has to work at this and this photograph, this painting is to show that. A several hundred years ago version of him that you don’t really pay off until I think episode six, and see his clean shaven face. But she has to convince Alina of his ill intent and terrify her. He isn’t a boy at all. He is eternal and he never stood a chance. I remember on set, having chills when Zoe says “You must hide.” 

She’s such a powerful actress.

She is. Yeah.

I’d love to hear more about Jessie too. Because she obviously has way less experience than someone like Zoe Wanamaker and just carries so much of the show, so well.

She does, she’s got a lot of natural, innate talent, obviously. Jessie does. And the character is her on some level, right? I mean, she is going through a sort of a transformation herself, her own life echoes this somewhat, being kind of taken from somewhere, not really known and then brought into this big new world.

Yeah. Is that something you talked about on set?

A little bit. I mean, one of the things that I like, I love working with actors, let me start with saying that. And one of the things that I really enjoy doing is working with the actors to craft a performance over the entire episode. And in fact, over the entire season and to talk to them about how they, as an actor, how they are the author of their character on a lot of levels. They have to infuse the character with all of the truth and the honesty, and they have to be brave. And for Jessie to understand that she has a huge part in creating this character. Yeah, it’s in a book series and yeah, here we are, it’s in the script. Yeah, all that’s true, but she has to bring her own humanity and her own fear and her own bravery and all of those things to the character. And so what we were always looking for are those honest moments, those very, very honest moments for the actors to really connect. And part of that was by throwing all of your attention on the other character that you’re in the scene with. And just understanding that you, as an actor, you are enough, you are in it and the casting is done. You are that person, you are that. And to trust that by the time we’re on set all of the work, you did all of the rehearsals, all of the research you did for your character, it’s there. You’ve got to trust it’s there and now just allow yourself to be present. And she just naturally did that, and had some really terrific performances as a result.

Yeah. Yeah. That seems especially important for a young cast like this. Obviously there’s some veteran actors in Shadow and Bone, but there’s a lot of relatively new people.

You know, even the veteran actors like Zoe. I mean even veteran actors, everybody needs to be reminded of that as well. Every once in a while, just that you, you are enough and it’s all there. If you just trust it and just be present. And they were always working on that. So that’s why they were just very, very good. You know, Ben and Jessie together are phenomenal. Ben and Baghra, Ben and Zoe are amazing together as well.

How long did you have to shoot you two episodes? Was it one block?

Mairzee Almas:

It was one block. And I honestly cannot remember how many days we had. Something like 20 to 24, something like that. That’d be 12 or 14 days per episode is my guess.

Nina and Matthias at Sea

Episode 6, 8:00 – 10:04

So we’re going to jump ahead to the next episode, episode six and catch up with Nina and Matthias, who are not having a good time.

No, no, they are not.

This is a short scene, but I wanted to ask you about it because water filming is notoriously difficult.

Oh my Lord. So here we are in the winter in Hungary, this is a water tank that our special effects team built in a studio space, but it was still cold. The water was heated as much as it could be, but you can’t heat it too much, otherwise there’s steam coming off of the people. So it was cold. And it’s a tank with guys, special effects guys on the sides with literally oil drums, with a stick attached to them that they’re pushing back and forth to create the waves. We have huge fans coming from many directions pointing at these guys and rain towers and rain wands so that is spraying water at these guys and all of it with the back splash, that is a green screen, so that in the wide shot, we can add a visual effects environment. But the water is quite deep.

As I recall, I think that Danielle [Galligan], Nina, could stand up on her tippy toes and keep her mouth out of the water.

That sounds intense and it sounds loud.

It was intense. It was loud. They had to ADR all of their dialogue because of the heavy machines that were running throughout all of it. And the water depth, as I recall, had to be that deep because Calahan [Skogman] is so tall and so that he didn’t have to kind of crouch and to make it real so they could float, he had to do a lot of that swimming.

It was really difficult. The two of them were absolute rock stars through this. There’s just no way around it. They had to be soaking wet in all that wardrobe.

Do you know how long you were filming this for?

Oh, golly gee, I’m going to say it was about eight hours.

They’re really earning their paycheck here.

Yeah. It was very difficult. And then of course them coming, not just this portion, but getting onto the shore and walking off as well.

Read more

TV

Yes, The Book in Shadow and Bone is… Shadow and Bone

By Kayti Burt

TV

Shadow and Bone: How Mysterious Criminal Kaz Brekker Steals the Show

By Rosie Fletcher

Were there any Titanic references made while you were filming?

I’m afraid there were, and we stood there and we said “You know what? Jack could have fit on the door. Jack could have fit on the door!

That’s exactly what I thought as I was watching it. But I was also like, this is like a healing experience for me, years later to see them both survive, you know?

Yeah. That’s right. And these two are such wonderful people. When we were doing the auditions for Matthias, Danielle was part of them. And I think I auditioned five or six guys, put them all on tape, and with Danielle playing all these various scenes with these different guys, it was really fun to play with her. And she’s so alive and so awake. She’s just a fantastic actor, really terrific.

So you were involved with the audition process?

Yes, at this point. I think I had arrived in Hungary the day before, and then we were bringing in all of these young actors from all over the world to audition with Danielle and to do a little chemistry feel and honestly, they had already winnowed this pile of guys down to around five, and they were all spectacular. They were all spectacular by this point. They were really, really great choices. So it was an embarrassment of riches, but you know, Calahan was fantastic. He just won it, he just had that extra something. 

Conclusions

Those are the three scenes that I wanted to talk to you about. I honestly feel like I could watch both of these episodes and talk to you about all of them, because there’s so much in here, but I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me about what we did see.

Yeah. That’s my pleasure. And I’m so glad that you saw the shadow. I honestly didn’t think you guys would see that. I’m so happy you did. And look for other things in there where you can see the camera definitely trying to support whatever the subtext of that character is. And there’s lots of those. And that was something my director of photography, and I, we went through a lot and said, “I really want the audience to have a visceral experience here.”

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post The Art of Bringing a Shadow and Bone Scene to the Screen appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3eZBoE4

[captainhysunstuff]

XD Well if you really wanna hear (HUGE spoilers for Madoka; DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THAT SERIES YET.):

First off, the term “magical girl” is replaced with a more gender neutral “magi” (the sorcerer definition). Misa still sometimes calls herself “Magical Girl Misa” when she first gets her powers, but magi is still used as the general term of what Kyubei turns them into. Witches are the same and are all referred to as female. Yes, you lose the clever wordplay reveal, but sacrifices must be made for the sake of indulgence.

My personal Death Note/Madoka Magica splice cast:

L is Madoka. I love the image of him being a small child who looks up to his awesome mom. The dramatic irony of him eventually becoming a literal god instead of a certain other character is delicious~. Like Madoka when she isn’t aware of the fate of magical girls, he would find being a magi fun and worth doing despite the danger, throwing himself into it like he did detective work. And I can see L coming to the same solution Madoka comes to at the end of the series by taking everything he’s learned and seen throughout. Even though he’s not as sympathetic or caring in DN’s canon, I do think he’d be disturbed by the systematic suffering the Incubators put the kids they contact through for the sake of collecting energy (using human souls as a disposable power source), and that he’d deal with it by becoming the being in charge of dealing with the ultimate fates of magis would be a practical solution given his power. Given his DN canon reclusiveness, he wouldn’t mind being an ultra powerful omnipotent being dedicated to his job in exchange for never interacting with anyone solid ever again aside from the people he saves. If boredom was an issue, again, able to see all things and it seems he’d be able to communicate with the magis he liberates, so y’know, there’s plenty to occupy himself with. Also, the dying all the time or becoming an incredibly powerful witch… Yeah. Madoka’s hair ribbons are replaced with a cute scarf. His magi form is basically a slightly fancier version of his winter outfit in episode 25’s flashback.

Light is Homura. From a meta standpoint, with how many adaptations there are floating around, it certainly feels like Light as a character is jumping around different timelines executing the same plan and hoping for a better outcome. Changing his goal to saving L… Aside from a shipping sense, I like the idea of Light becoming obsessed with him like how Homura attaches herself to Madoka to the point of making protecting/possessing them their number one priority. And eventually becoming a godlike being by usurping L’s position matches Death Note’s canon and is perfect. I just need that Rebellion sequel so I can see how Homura gets dealt with and complete the anime’s story…. The role reversal of Light being the veteran is pretty darn cool. His magical form shifts from a more suit-ish version of Homura’s magical girl form to the bright, fluffy jacket and body suit-ish(?) attire from chapter 46’s “cover” page.

Misa is Sayaka. Selling her soul to help her crush in the hopes of earning his love is super in character. Although, she’s not as forward as DN!Misa with love, so that kind of doesn’t work here, but the first half of the concept works, lol~. However, both methods do doom her in the end though, which does work (yay for mental gymnastics)! This was the series that made me realize how much I love the idea of Misa and L as platonic friends. L being disturbed by her descent into despair and her pushing him away is so tragic. The guy she crushes on in this story is Hideki Ryuga. She’s pretty hostile towards Light in this, lol. They get a truly adorable Trio scene in the Magia Record anime series at least~.

Teru Mikami is Mami. Him as a lonely magi veteran who made a desperate wish to survive a car crash that killed his other family (his mother’s canon death being hit by a car) and being completely dedicated to erasing Witches and Familiars just works for me. Him putting on a strong front until confronted with the undeniable truth (the thing he’s dedicated his life to being horrifying and/or not living up to his expectations — the Witches he’d been fighting this whole time were actually former magis, and that was the fate awaiting him despite all of his hard work, or that the person he looked up to as a god and killed thousands for ended up being a human as fallible and flawed as everyone else), upon which he destructively breaks down. He’d be ecstatic that someone would fight evil alongside him, that he wouldn’t have to better the world all by himself, which I feel is part of why he latched onto Kira, who did what he did as a prosecutor but “better.” Although, here’s another instance where a former member of Team Kira is kind of antagonistic towards Light, seeing him as a shallow person who didn’t want to be overshadowed by L’s potential and stop him from becoming a magi with Teru. He would be able to stand toe-to-toe with Light in a fight. And Mami’s theme being called “Believe in Justice,” I imagine that’s what he hears when he deletes criminals~. It’s so hopeful and triumphant that it makes what happens later so much more heartbreaking.

Art of him in Mami’s role

Beyond is Kyoko. Coming to town and immediately stirring up trouble by picking fights with Misa…. He’s an aggressive, fiery magi who wholly fights for himself until he learns the truth. He then notices she’s making the same mistakes he did, and tries to encourage her to deal with her situation better like how he has. He’s “figured out how things work and wants to save her some grief.” Not much to say for this casting, just that I like it, the fire association, and it’s another casting that makes me like the idea of Misa and Beyond interaction.

I feel Kyubei and Ryuk are similar enough for a typecast to happen here, but it’s hard to see Ryuk as an emotionless objective being, so Kyubei’s basically a self insert~. After all, I am the one making these characters suffer by making them act out this story~.

Other cast:

Hideki Ryuga as Kyosuke Kamijo (replace actor with former musical prodigy)

Kiyomi Takada as Hitomi (the third friend who reaps the rewards of Misa healing Hideki by “stealing” him away. They even talk about it over a meal like in DN’s canon, albeit more respectfully. One of them still briefly wishes the other were dead, though, lol)

A is pulling double-duty as L’s baby brother (named Alex) and as Beyond’s little brother that gets killed in his father’s rampage.

This series made me decide that L’s mother’s name is some variation of “June” or “Junko.” He is supposedly part Japanese, so it’s from his mother’s side of the family now~.

Alternate castings I’ve considered:

Madoka is so damn pure while L decidedly… isn’t. So, I’ve entertained making her Matsuda. Always wanting to help while feeling so below average but is actually brimming with potential fits him very well. Then, making Homura Aizawa would make the most sense (I feel weird making it Soichiro or something, lol). I considered Ide, but he’s more dedicated to Aizawa than Matsuda in my opinion…. He’d be more of a Sayaka, what with his bad luck in the dating scene.

Then, that would reserve the roles of Light and L to Sayaka and Kyoko respectively (sorry, they have to be there, lol). Same relationship that goes from clashing to caring works. L being the jaded veteran and Light being the naïve newcomer works magnificently. However, I don’t know who Light would love enough to make his wish for outside of his own family. Maybe another friend like Yamamoto or a Yotsuba member turned classmate he ends up having unrequited crush on. Then the one who steals them away could again be Yamamoto or some other character. Light would mainly beat himself up for making the wish at all and despairing his lack of results, which L sympathizes with. Matsuda seeing Light deteriorating as his best friend breaks my heart so good. It’s an extremely appealing scenario, but I just can’t fully commit to it, ehehe.

Art of the Drama versions in the pose from Kyoko and Sayaka’s end credits

As for remisa: I enjoy the idea of Rem trying desperately to protect Misa at all costs, but I can’t see her usurping Misa and trapping her. They’d have to go with the manga ending where Misa takes her away into the Law of Cycles, and they’re together forever that way~. ✨❤️✨

I do have a recasting of Magia Record, but I go about that one much more haphazardly, pulling from multiple sources for the cast, not just Death Note~. Definitely more ladies, lol.

And so… this beast explains my splicing of Madoka Magica with Death Note characters acting it out! The main things I’ve gotten out of it are interactions between characters that don’t generally interact, interesting similarities, and coming to conclusions about other things outside of the provided story.

I know I posted a redrawing of the scene in Rebellion where Homura/Light is introduced to the class with the DN characters, but I can’t find it here for some stupid reason. 😑

I DO have an original post-canon Death Note x Magical Girl/Boy idea swimming around in my head, but it much less fleshed out aside from a few concepts and scenes. I’m not that much of a hack~. 😆

remisa but homumado, i may or may not expand upon this.

Oh my goodness… Yessss~.

I’m all for splicing Death Note and Madoka Magica (I have my own selfish version of said splicing, too)~. ✨❤️✨

[yooka-kazooie]

liveblog of me watching the sonic movie courtesy of me yell-typing at my friend on discord

#long post #spoilers 

6:48 PM] Me: well guess I'm gonna rent it on cable [6:50 PM] Me: ok so far the cc works [6:50 PM] Me: which is good news on optimum [6:50 PM] Friend: good [6:50 PM] Me: upp spoke too soon [6:50 PM] Me: where did the cc go [6:51 PM] Me: first the sound didn't work and now the cc goes I keep having to close the movie and resume [6:51 PM] Me: I already dont know this owl character [6:51 PM] Me: like I'm not a HUGE fan of sonic but who is she [6:51 PM] Friend: I don't think she was in the games [6:52 PM] Friend: just an owl who adopted sonic [6:52 PM] Me: oh no is she from the original archie comics [6:52 PM] Me: I've also never seen sonic younger than like 15 [6:52 PM] Friend: no idea [6:52 PM] Me: were those echidnas [6:53 PM] Friend: the old sonic show (the good one) had an episode where sonic goes back in time and meets himself as a kid [6:53 PM] Me: oh good he's a cop good /s [6:53 PM] Me: the urkel one? [6:53 PM] Friend: yeah echidnas [6:53 PM] Friend: yeah [6:53 PM] Friend: there were two urkel ones [6:54 PM] Friend: aired at the same time [6:54 PM] Friend: or same year [6:54 PM] Me: he was in both of them??? [6:54 PM] Friend: yep [6:54 PM] Me: I never watched the "good one" [6:54 PM] Me: sat am? [6:54 PM] Friend: yeah [6:54 PM] Me: yeah I literally never saw it [6:54 PM] Friend: I think [6:54 PM] Me: til Nostalgia Critic [6:57 PM] Me: did crazy carl's drawing look like sanic I can't rewind with ondemand [6:58 PM] Friend: yes it did [7:05 PM] Me: whoops sonic emp [7:07 PM] Me: I assume these old people are describing eggman [7:07 PM] Me: so eggman is human [7:08 PM] friend: yeah [7:10 PM] Me: whos stone [7:10 PM] Me: like did Eggman need a human y.. [7:10 PM] Me: wait is he a robot [7:10 PM] Me: "a human yesman" is what I was going to say [7:10 PM] Me: it seems weird to me that he'd pay a human yesman instead of building a robot yesman [7:11 PM] friend: to be fair he has a human yesman in that old show too [7:11 PM] Me: the show I didnt watch? [7:11 PM] friend: yeah [7:11 PM] Me: I watched the pumpkin show [7:11 PM] Me: and sonic boom cartoon [7:12 PM] Me: and I played sonic adventure 2 [7:12 PM] Me: and sonic 06 [7:13 PM] Me: I'm just letting you know what I know [7:13 PM] Me: what sonic media I've consumed [7:13 PM] Me: I never played the 2D games [7:13 PM] Me: never saw Sonic Sat Am [7:14 PM] Me: uhh meow [7:14 PM] Me: oh neat I didn't know that's how the rings would work [7:14 PM] Friend: lol nice to know where you are in the movie [7:15 PM] Me: donut lord shouldn't be so confused this is at least his second time finding a small talking furry animal-like creature [7:15 PM] Me: I'm sorry but the fact that this dude had the same role in hop is hilarious [7:15 PM] Me: how do you get typecast like that [7:16 PM] Me: "where are the mushrooms and why am I still on earth" is a mood [7:16 PM] Me: his eyes are cool looking [7:16 PM] Me: I can't remember what the old design looked like and I'm scared to look it up [7:17 PM] Me: did I tell you someone proved that it wasn't a stunt and that was the actual real design [7:17 PM] friend: someone told me that [7:17 PM] Me: because they found the merch they were making and they actually made some with the old design [7:17 PM] Me: that was intentional [7:18 PM] Me: oh I like those videogame control gloves [7:18 PM] Me: they need to make those for VR [7:21 PM] Me: raccoons are so cute [7:21 PM] Me: I want one for a pet [7:23 PM] Me: no I'm calling it, Stone is secretly a robot [7:25 PM] Me: the more he says mushroom planet the more I realize it's a nintendo joke [7:25 PM] Me: the mushroom planet has to be the mushroom kingdom [7:25 PM] Me: he doesn't want to go where mario lives [7:26 PM] Me: now I want mushrooms (food) [7:26 PM] Friend: every time he talks about the mushroom planet I want them to make a nintendo cinematic universe [7:26 PM] Me: man Sonic's individual quills look weird? [7:27 PM] Me: whenever I focus on them [7:27 PM] Me: not that bad but it's weird [7:28 PM] Friend: the ones still on his body? I know the one not on his body was never changed [7:28 PM] Me: yeah the ones on him [7:28 PM] Me: it's fine looking when I don't focus on them [7:29 PM] Me: this movie has Antman vibes [7:29 PM] Me: similar humor [7:35 PM] Me: hipsters how do you even convince someone you're not that lol [7:35 PM] Me: oh here we go first standstill [7:36 PM] Me: it's really cool actually, like that one xmen scene [7:36 PM] Me: god that is just ridiculously fast [7:36 PM] Me: so far this movie is better than it looked [7:37 PM] Me: especially before the redesign [7:37 PM] Me: ugh [7:37 PM] friend: I do wonder how much, if any, the story changed with the design [7:37 PM] Me: I'm just guessing that it's the same but there could have been more changes [7:39 PM] Me: ok if mushroom world has no breathable air I'd say that's not a safe place to go [7:39 PM] Me: for sonic??? [7:40 PM] Friend: I do question how a planet full of mushrooms can have enough oxygen in it. there must be something producing more oxygen though [7:41 PM] Me: if Stone isn't a robot that eggman built I hope he's paid well [7:41 PM] Me: he literally just said it doesn't have breathable air [7:41 PM] Friend: I thought he said it did [7:42 PM] Me: ... [7:42 PM] Me: I can't rewind [7:42 PM] Me: a babysitter is infinitely better than a cop tho [7:42 PM] Me: acab [7:44 PM] Me: does he go super sonic in this [7:44 PM] Me: like gold [7:45 PM] Me: aaand he's flossing [7:45 PM] Me: how old is sonic [7:45 PM] Me: is this a child [7:45 PM] friend: idk they should have mentioned it somewhere [7:46 PM] Me: are those children fighting over a switch or a tablet [7:46 PM] Me: jesus sonic just killed eggman [7:46 PM] Me: like I understand but [7:46 PM] Me: oh he waasn't in that one [7:46 PM] Me: I guess [7:49 PM] Me: it seems weird that that exploded [7:49 PM] Me: what if it killed sonic [7:49 PM] Me: what if it damaged the remains [7:49 PM] Me: didnt eggman want to study him [7:50 PM] Me: ok well eggman just called Stone a human being so I hope he's being paid well [7:53 PM] Me: ok how is it fun to be chased by a holographic dinosaur [7:53 PM] Me: I literally have nightmares that are that [7:53 PM] Me: except in nightmares you can feel terror and pain [7:56 PM] Me: are those the shoes that had a deal with sonic adventure 2 [7:57 PM] Me: ah man this is the kinda guy who would either get fired because he's too good to be a cop or be corrupted by getting the job [7:57 PM] Me: I've been reading a lot of stories of what happens to "good cops" lately [7:58 PM] Me: and either they get fired for not being terrible or they become terrible [7:58 PM] Me: remember there are no good cops [7:59 PM] friend: well that is going to change soon [7:59 PM] friend: or it better [7:59 PM] Me: no more cops [7:59 PM] Me: abolish cops [7:59 PM] Me: freedom [8:03 PM] Me: oooo he called him eggman [8:03 PM] Me: took me a second to realize that wasn't just his name [8:03 PM] friend: he is eggman in japan and robotnic in america [8:04 PM] Me: I just think of him as Dr Eggman Robotnic [8:04 PM] Me: like bowser is King Bowser Koopa [8:04 PM] Me: Princess Peach Toadstool [8:04 PM] Me: ... I wasn't paying attention did sonic's speed just fail [8:05 PM] Me: *ring get noise* Me: oh no how many of those rings does he have [8:07 PM] Me: like not an infinite amount [8:07 PM] Me: wait [8:07 PM] Me: aren't the pyramids like [8:07 PM] Me: next to a city [8:08 PM] Me: and not in the middle of endless sand [8:08 PM] friend: yeah [8:09 PM] friend: from pictures there does seem to be a lot of sand around them [8:10 PM] Me: its the angle [8:10 PM] Me: the pyramids are like [8:10 PM] Me: inbetween endless sand and a city [8:10 PM] friend: sure [8:10 PM] Me: well he's going Blue Super Sonic [8:10 PM] Me: still not gold/yellow [8:11 PM] friend: well he does need all the chaos emeralds to go gold [8:12 PM] Me: so what is this form called [8:12 PM] Me: canonically [8:12 PM] friend: idk [8:12 PM] Me: blue lightning sonic [8:13 PM] friend: all that comes up is a truck [8:14 PM] Me: try tvtropes [8:17 PM] Me: well they're treating him like a child? I think? [8:17 PM] Me: like they adopted him [8:17 PM] Me: he's flossing and has a racecar bed [8:17 PM] Me: I think he's a child??? [8:18 PM] Me: hye look its eggman [8:18 PM] Me: he's gonna be so pissed when he gets back [8:18 PM] Me: pff stone isn't a human anymore [8:18 PM] Me: I guess the air is breathable [8:18 PM] Me: how does he get fat on msuhroom world [8:19 PM] Me: are the mushrooms edible [8:19 PM] friend: I would hope at least some of them are [8:19 PM] Me: wait why did he shave [8:19 PM] Me: I saw him do it but it's not explained why [8:19 PM] Me: did he get gum in his hair what did I miss [8:20 PM] friend: well if his mustache is any indication his hair might have gotten... idk weird, so he shaved it [8:21 PM] friend: remember end credit scenes [8:21 PM] Me: ah mood [8:21 PM] Me: I'm watching the credits yes [8:21 PM] Me: I mean I feel like shaving my head would feel infinitely weirder so I just buzz it short but mood [8:21 PM] friend: idr if there was a thing at the very end of the credits [8:21 PM] Me: oh here we go some woods TAILS [8:21 PM] Me: NO [8:21 PM] Me: they had to redesign tails [8:21 PM] Me: too [8:21 PM] Me: wait [8:21 PM] Me: uh [8:21 PM] Me: that was [8:21 PM] Me: really fast for tails [8:22 PM] Me: I guess he's not as fast as sonic but he's not supposed to be that fast [8:22 PM] Me: aaand more credits [8:22 PM] friend: well he can be fast in the games [8:23 PM] Me: he was slow in sonic boom cartoon [8:23 PM] Me: maybe???

[bethgreeneishopeunseen]

Interview Inconsistencies & Strangeness

Emily and the other walking dead actors may be amazing actors, but no one is a perfect liar. Over the last two-and-a-half years they have given off subtle clues in their speech and behavior patterns, specifically in relation to Beth. For ease of research and to stress how suspicious the whole Beth conspiracy is, I gathered all the suspicious interviews and articles that I could find, as well as any metas on them that I had in my archives. This compilation isn’t just my efforts, but all of the efforts of Team Delusional, as you all helped to provide the evidence. I would also like to give a special thanks to @fioredi for her help in finding some interviews.

If there are any interviews that you think are suspicious, please reblog them with the relevant quote/time mark and the source/link.

Present Tense:

In early October of 2014, Emily was on the podcast, EW Morning Live, with Dalton Ross. (It was likely recorded in September, after she would have finished filming.) She was giggly, referred to the show in the present tense, and even mentioned buying furniture for her apartment. When she was asked if she was going back to Atlanta, she quickly said, “I will be,” as if she had let something slip. (X).

Under the Radar: “Well, obviously, we're not all filming all the time. It depends on scenes and episodes and stuff, so I know I'm going to have some time to still fit in some stuff. But it's funny how this has become a home base for me, because when I'm here I'm focused on just working on one thing, and it's quieter. I'm usually not trying to fit a million things into one day. As much as the show is not a calm show, there's something really nice and calm about being in Georgia. It's a great atmosphere. Now it's beginning to feel more like a home, because this is my fourth year on the show. It's very familiar here. I'm sure the season is going to be amazing, and it's great to be around my family. During the break, we all go off and do our own things. I'm doing my music, and Norman does his photography. But it's always good to be back. It's such a supportive group.” (X) (X). (October 7th, 2014.)

Emily gave this interview probably within two months of it being released. She moved to Atlanta during season 3 (X at 46:13), and she’s had her Georgia apartment going back to summer 2013 (X), and the “now” is pointed. She felt like Georgia was home during 5b, because she spent most of the fall filming in secret, and because of this arc, she knew Beth would be one of the last characters standing.

On Coda’s Talking Dead, they showed a clip from set of Norman talking about filming the episode: “That was a really crazy day, because I really like Emily and I like that character.” (X) (X). (0:15). (November 30th, 2014).

FML 949: “It’s hard for me sometimes to separate, ya know like oh if I was just watching the show, like as far as making the show is so much…was so much a part of my like everyday life…” (X) (X) (June 11th, 2015). *audio removed*

Jefferson Public Radio (JPR): When asked what it’s like to pretend to kill people, she said, “Yeah, well we do a lot of…you know we have a lot of, um…there’s stunt coordinators and stuff like that on set, so there’s some choreography involved and also there’s some, um, there’s some like (pause) uh, special effects that are involved too so sometimes you’re not actually stabbing the person in the head…” (X) (X). (June 11th, 2015).

SplashTV (at 1:10): “[The Walking Dead] is so protective of anyone finding out anything that we have fake names. [...] My fake name was Mariah.” (X). (August 9th, 2015).

TPTB likely changed Emily’s call name after season 5 as a further security measure.

Spoiler Alert: “[Masters of Sex is] [v]ery different from Walking Dead,” Kinney said. “To me that definately appealed to me. I loved working on Walking Dead but I sort of liked the idea to of going to work and, like, people not getting shot in the throat. To me I welcomed the break of not necessarily exploring people getting torn apart but instead exploring relationships and sex and drama and people falling in love.” “This was a nice change of pace.” (X) (X). (7:14) (7:58). (August 17th, 2015).

Screener: “Now I’ve watched all of [Masters of Sex] and I really like the show. It’s really fun to do something that’s about relationships and families and [being] sexy. It’s a nice break from “The Walking Dead,” which, of course, was a lot of death and destruction. It’s fun to have scenes of just talking things out. That’s really fun for me.” (X) (X). (August 30th, 2015).

Emily spent most of The Walking Dead Food Special discussing the show, specifically in the present tense. She didn’t talk about her current projects until the end. (X) (X) (X) (X). (October 6th, 2015).

Julia Stoepel: “today i happened to run into emily kinney who is beth on #thewalkingdead and i am her german voice.” (X) (X). (October 31st, 2015).

(X) (evidence of her speaking English well, meaning that the quote above wasn’t just a grammatical mistake).

Hallmark Channel (at 0:27): “Is there a big difference in playing the two? Emily Kinney: They’re definitely very different projects. [...] For Walking Dead you know I show up to set and they just get me dirty and bloody and then I show up to set for Love On the Sidelines and I get to be pretty.” (X) (X) (X). (January 13th, 2016).

At her HelloGiggles interview, Emily refers to the show in present tense and as “we” when discussing the differences between TWD and Conviction when it comes to getting ready. This makes sense as we’ve theorized that she filmed for both TWD and Conviction, so she would constantly be going back and forth. She’s made similar comments about hair and make-up when talking about Masters of Sex and Love On the Sidelines. By the time of this interview, she had been off the show for two years and done multiple projects, so she had adjusted to non-horror costuming, but she hasn’t. (X). (3:20). (August 30th, 2016)

For her interview on Intrepid Broadcasting, she uses the present tense and hedges when talking about filming Beth’s death, using “umm” a lot. (X) (X). (7:38). (November 16th, 2016).

Your Morning Show: “I love being on the show” when talking about TWD. (X) (November 1st, 2016).

A fan met Emily and told her that, “Beth and Daryl sure were a match”, and Emily agreed. “They sure are.” (X). (November 2016).

Newschannel 20: “I’m so thankful to be a part of something that had such a big audience. And umm, I learned a lot. It was a big chunk of my life. It was like four years, working on that show. I learned a lot. I think I became a better actor, working with the people I got to work with. So yeah it was a good time.” (X). (June 9th, 2017).

Emily’s two primary social media accounts, Instagram and Twitter, reference her role as Beth in the present tense. On December 18th, 2014, she took “Beth on The Walking Dead” off her Twitter bio but added it back hours later. Then in late 2015, her Instagram hacked and her bio was changed. She had to fix her bio, and could have updated it, but she put Beth back. (X) (X).

Edited 7/22/2017 to add: Once on Twitter she replied to a follower about her bio being changed, explaining that her manager did it. Her manager will sometimes change things or sometimes tweet information. She kept Beth in because she liked it (X).

Interview Anxiety:

Lauren Cohan and Scott Gimple were asked about Maggie’s relationship to Beth. Lauren joked that the Greene sisters were texting the whole time, and Gimple mentioned radios before cutting himself off, as if it were a spoiler. “Yeah, there are radio waves that are still…[hesitates and cuts himself off] Okay, we just won’t get into that.” (X) (X). (July 30th, 2014).

When talking about Beth’s “death” after Coda immediately aired, the cast and crew all exhibited traits associated with lying. Emily probably did the most, who was on Talking Dead at the time. (X). (November 30th, 2014).

BTS of Coda (Andrew Lincoln): “I said to Emily, “You’re so fricking good. People adore you. Which is why you're worthy of this death.”” *fidgeted and didn’t look directly at the camera* (X) (X) (2:40). (November 30th, 2014).

Access Hollywood: “They brought Scott back. If they came to you and asked you to do some sort of flashback, or dream sequence, do you feel like you’re done, or would you be happy to say yes, provided you aren’t busy touring [with your music]? Emily: Yeah, it would just depend on my schedule, but of course I would. I mean, I love being on set, I love working. Of course I would. I love working.” Repetitious, which is a sign of lying. (X). (December 3rd, 2014).

When asked about bringing dead characters back for 5x09, Greg Nicotero’s tone and body language changed when talking about Beth/Emily. Chad L. Coleman first had to remind Greg about bringing her back, and then Greg gave unnecessary detail about it. The detail also clashed with filming schedules and with what Emily mentioned at a concert about being brought back. (X). (February 8th, 2015).

While listing off the dead characters in 5x09, Chad L. Coleman conveniently forgot to mention Beth. (X). (February 8th, 2015).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY COMMUNITY: “What’s the experience been like, being killed off of a show? The fans were pretty upset about it. EMILY KINNEY: I would say now, I mean, it’s great. What’s really cool about this show is that even though I’m done working on it, there are conventions and people reaching out. It’s really exciting to see that fanbase, that they’re so interested in what I’m going to work on next. Obviously I miss working on the show. Right now a lot of the cast members are on hiatus anyway, but what’s cool is that working on that show, I made these really amazing friendships. When I do these conventions, I get to see all these friends again. So even though I’m not working on the show anymore, I still feel really connected. It’s also one of those shows that people will watch later—you know, binge-watch. So I constantly have people tweeting at me or contacting me saying, “I just started watching this show” or “I just finished season four.” So even though I’m done working on it, it’s kind of one of those shows that keeps generating more fans, and it’s something that will always be a big part of my life.” Repetitious, which is a sign of lying. (X) (X) (X). (February 23rd, 2015).

While on River 105.9, at 5:54 the hosts asked Emily if it would be possible that Beth would return as a flashback or hallucination. Emily struggled with a response before diverting the conversation to her other acting projects like The Flash. She never actually answers the question. (X) (X) (X). (February 23rd, 2015).

At 5:25, Emily also mentions that her album, This is War, would come out the first week of May. This makes sense, as albums usually come out before an artist goes on tour. Instead, Emily pushed up her album release date to early October, after she had done most of her shows.

On Good Morning America, leading up to the season 5 finale, Norman licked his lips and looked excited yet cautious when asked about romance. As we all know, Bethyl is the only romance for Daryl (X) (X), so that’s what Norman would be excited about. Which is only possible if he knows that Beth is coming back. At 3:28 in the interview, he participated in a trivia game with the host. He got everyone question except which death nearly broke the Internet that season. He said Emily instead of Beth, also licking his lips before responding. (X) (X). (March 27th, 2015).

(photo credit @bethgreenewarriorprincess​)

On Talking Dead, Seth Gilliam was asked about Boots’s identity, and his demeanor and body language changed. He stuttered and spoke strangely (X). (February 19th, 2017).

Greg Nicotero, Christian Serratos, and Norman Reedus all exuded anxiety, and Norman became very fidgety, when asked which dead character they would want to bring back. (X) (X). (March 3rd, 2017).

Newschannel 20: Repetitious, which is a sign of lying. (X). (June 9th, 2017).

Interview Absences:

Emily hasn’t done a panel in the United States since before Coda. It was even confirmed that at least once the network canceled one of her scheduled panels. (X).

During a Behind-The-Scenes video for 5x09, Emily was the only main actress not in the video. All of the actors in Tyreese’s hallucination, except Martin’s and Emily, were there. Interestingly, Emily posted a picture of her in a van, with faded scar make-up, at the time the bedroom scenes were being filmed. She likely filmed the bedroom scenes first and then left, to go film. (X) (X) (X). (February 8th, 2015).

Emily didn’t do any commentary for the season 5 DVDs. It was her last seasons, which included her own episode, yet nothing.

None of the Grady actors have done a panel, even though past communities like Terminus has, and there have been a limited amount of interviews.

During an AMA, Emily confirmed that she would be recording her version of Struggling Man. She promised to release information in the coming weeks, but she never did. (X). (October 15th, 2015).

Lack of Death:

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “I know it’s tough for you guys off-screen, but what does the loss of Beth do to Rick and to the group moving forward on-screen?” Andrew Lincoln: [...] And yet again we’re in a desperate place and we’re in the middle of Atlanta that is overrun. We’re compromised, yet it’s one of these places where he has to step forward as a leader. There isn’t time to dwell on this. He has to keep pushing his troops forward. [...] I do have to say that losing Emily — it was so painful on so many levels. I adore the girl. I think she’s amazing. We lost the voice, her song. And after her having such a tremendous episode that she led in in episode 4 to not even get the chance… I mean, I had three or four seconds to act with her and then she was taken away. It’s just cruel, this job, man. It’s just cruel.” (X) (X) (X). (December 1st, 2014).

MTV News (Andrew Lincoln): “The interesting thing about the [Virginia] decision was it was the only physical way they could honor Beth. She’s dead and gone, and we can’t affect anything outside of that. One thing we can do is honor her wishes, and try to see if we can find Noah’s parents. I love that, when you realize the reasoning behind it was actually a softening, a tenderness, the humane side of Rick we haven’t seen for quite some time...[He had] very possibly a quite paternal feeling towards her.” Repetitious and overly-detailed, which are signs of lying. (X) (X). (February 3rd, 2015).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY (Andrew Lincoln): “There are a lot of people grieving the loss of such an important person. There was so much hope invested in Beth and finding her, and then to have it ripped out of our grasp was unbearable for actors and for the story.” (X) (X) (February 6th, 2015.)

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “So, why was it Tyreese’s time to go? SCOTT M. GIMPLE: That question for any character is very difficult. You know, like, why was it Hershel’s time to go? Why was it Bob’s time to go? I mean, because there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to this stuff. I’ll say that it was his time to go in as much as that’s what the story dictates—not just in that moment, but for the future too, and the way the story turns off of these events.” (X) (X). (February 8th, 2015).

On 5x09′s Talking Dead, Greg Nicotero mentioned that “[The characters have] lost two people in the group,” either forgetting Bob or Beth’s death. Considering in the same episode he had to be reminded of Emily being brought back to set, I’m going with Beth (X). (February 8th, 2015).

Norman doesn’t refer to Beth as dead. For example, he describes “carrying [her]”, not her body. (X) (X). On Good Morning America, when asked which season 5 death caused an uproar, he said Emily. (X).

On the Talking Dead Fear Special, Chris Hardwick listed out the moral compasses, who always died, like Dale and Hershel. He left out Beth. (X) (October 4th, 2015).

News 4 Jax (at 1:03): “Once Beth left I felt like we had done a good job of you know really... filling out her character and like people got to know her.” (X) (X) (X) (X). (November 18th, 2015).

So in summary: People forget that Beth is dead.

Breaking the News:

During Scott Gimple’s tenure as showrunner, former cast members find about their characters’ deaths with some advanced notice. Later the cast and crew throw a death dinner. Everything related to Emily finding out and what happened afterwards stands out from the others.

“TVLINE: “How long have you known about Andrea’s death? Laurie: I didn’t get the official word until a few days before we began [shooting] the finale. It was a shock to everyone. It was never part of the original story docs for Season 3. And it was rather unexpected. That said, this is The Walking Dead. This show is not conventional by any means — and we know that as actors going in. So you roll with it. You show up, you do the best job you can, and you honor the storytelling. Overall, this has been an extraordinary experience and I just feel so blessed to have been a part of it.” At a con last summer: “Well I had an 8 year deal, I was supposed to be there until the end. I was supposed to end up with Rick. I was supposed to save Woodbury on a horse, and I was buying a house in Atlanta.  I got the call at 10 o’ clock the night before, while I was shooting, from the show runner who is no longer a part of The Walking Dead, saying that they couldn’t write the episode and that he was killing my character. So we all got the script everybody on the set was sobbing. I felt like I got shot. None of it was supposed to happen the way it did.” (X). (March 31st, 2013).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “You mentioned you didn’t know yet when you were filming episode 5, so when and how did you get the news of your impending fate? SCOTT WILSON: Actually, I found out right after that episode, which was kind of ironic. And I kind of truthfully expected it after episode 403 when Hershel had this great speech about risking your life and what you’re risking it for. I had a suspicion then. And then when I read 405, that really confirmed my suspicion in a way, but I wasn’t officially told until after we were finished shooting 405. Did you plead with the producers for a stay of execution like Rick pleaded with the Governor? He called me into his office and I went in and talked to him. He explained to me that I was going. I said to him, “I think you’re making a big mistake, but it’s yours to make and I’m not going to try to talk you out of it.” Someone from the show was going to go. I would not want to be the one to make the decision that he had to make there. And I respect him for how he told me, and I am grateful for the scenes and episodes they gave me before they took me off. So, it’s all good.” (X). (December 2nd, 2013).

On Coda’s Talking Dead, Emily mentioned that she found out during filming for 5x07 (X). (November 30th, 2014).

TVLINE: “How long have you known that Beth was getting killed off? EMILY KINNEY: Since late August. I found out the day the script [for the episode] came out. Who told you? [Showrunner] Scott Gimple. Did you reach out to your co-stars for emotional support? I think the original plan was for everyone to get a call [before they read it in the script]. I know when Scott Wilson was killed off [in Season 4], everyone was called [ahead of time]. And I think Scott Gimple originally [planned to do] that because he had times set up to talk to everyone that day. [But] I know not everyone got called, because some people called me the next morning when they read the script. Like, Norman Reedus and Andy [Lincoln] didn’t get any kind of call or anything like that. [Editor’s note: A source close to the show maintains that Gimple, on set in Atlanta, contacted all cast members either in person or via phone within hours of his meeting with Kinney, well before the script was distributed.] Did Scott offer an explanation? He didn’t, really. I think the whole point is there is no rhyme or reason [to the deaths on the show]. It’s like real-life. Why does that person [die] as opposed to other people? We really don’t quite know why.” (X). (November 30th, 2014).

Emily meant late July, not August. 5x07 was filmed at the end of July and Coda at the beginning of August.

The Hollywood Reporter (THR): “When did you find out Beth was going to die? Emily Kinney: The day the script came out, during episode 507. I was really sad and shocked, I had no idea. I had a meeting with [showrunner] Scott Gimple and it was very sad. He didn't explain why [Beth was being killed off], but he said it was something he had been planning since season four. I was very upset. We both love working together and for whatever reason, that's how he saw the character going.” (X). (December 1st, 2014).

There was an interview that Emily met with Scott in his office, but I couldn’t find it. And actors meeting with Scott in his office is characteristic of main characters’ death. It’s consistent in past cast members’ interviews, so why would Emily mention it only once? Because it’s a lie, and it’s hard to keep the details of a lie straight the more times you tell it. (X).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “Tell me how and when you got the bad news. EMILY KINNEY: The season finale was episode 508 and I found out during 507. So I found out a few hours before they released the script to everyone. Showrunner Scott Gimple gave you the call? I actually talked to him in person. So did you go then tell your castmates or did they find out on their own? All I know is how I found out, which is that day a few hours before the script came out. So different people from the cast reached out to me after that and that was really nice.” (X) (December 1st, 2014).

The Daily Beast: “When did you first receive the news that Beth would be killed off? Emily Kinney: I found out during [Season 5, Episode 7], the day the script came out. I mean, I found out a few hours before the script went to everyone.” (X). (December 1st, 2014).

Us Weekly: “How did the showrunners let you know about Beth's death? Emily Kinney: I found out the day that the script came out. They came to me and told me before everyone else in the cast. I didn't read the script right away because I was working on [last week's] episode seven at the time. I wanted to avoid reading it at first, because the next day I had to do all my scenes for episode seven. Not to mention I wasn't really excited to see what was going to happen. I just stayed focused on that first. I had a little while to emotionally prepare… at least a little while.” What was your initial reaction to reading it? I was pretty sad. I really had no idea [that Beth was going to die]. I know it's happened like this in the past but for some reason I thought, 'Oh, they would tell me.' I really didn't know, so I was very sad and just dealing with, 'What am I going to do with all my stuff?' All the little stuff that you go through with a big change like that. It was quite a few years of my life. How did you say goodbye to the show? There was a little party. We had a campfire, campout party. It was good to see everyone. It makes you realize that you have to enjoy the time you have with people. At the end I was trying to really soak up everything.” (X). (December 1st, 2014).

In the same interview, there are inconsistencies. Emily first said that TPTB “came to [her]”, yet it sounds like they didn’t, as she didn’t know. In THR interview, she mentioned meeting with Scott. So why not in this one? Why use the ambiguous they?

Emily a posted a picture of a s’more on August 24th, 2014 (X). She was likely in Georgia at the time filming (X). Many fans speculated that she was at her death dinner. After Coda aired, she revealed that she had a fireside, campey death dinner, and she shared with Chad L. Coleman. Christine Woods wasn’t invited, even though villains are given death dinners too. David Morrissey and Scott Wilson shared death dinners, since they died in the same episode. I wouldn’t be surprised if TPTB kept the dinner to a tight circle, since Tyreese’s death and the filming of it are so tied with Beth’s.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “How did you first get the word from Scott Gimple that Tyreese’s time had come? Chad Coleman: Scott called me up and was like, “Chad, I’m meeting with all the cast,” and I’m like, “You know, Scott, I’m busy, man. I don’t mean harm, bro, but no big deal right? Everything’s cool.” He’s like, “Yeah, no, everything’s cool. I just want to talk to you.” So I went in, and he said, “Tyreese’s time has come.” And I said, “Stop joking, Scott. Come on, man. Stop playing.” And then he teared up, and then I knew it was real, and then I just kept saying, “Wow,” for, like, five minutes. I just kept going, “Wow. Wow.” And then I breathed in and breathed out, and realized that hey, man, I’ve done everything I could do on the show, so let’s go do this one, and make it the best we’ve ever done.” (X). (February 8th, 2015).

Yahoo: When did you find out that this was going to happen? Did you know from the beginning of Season 5? Chad Coleman: No, three episodes prior. But also, we got caught in the Beth situation. Because [Emily Kinney] was supposed to find out at least three episodes before, and it didn't happen. It happened pretty much one episode out. So she's reading the new episode and going "Oh, shit." Everybody was hurting tremendously from that. When [Scott Gimple] called me into the office, I looked at him, and he teared up. I said, "Wow." I said that about fifty times. "Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow." And he's just looking at me, and I'm going, "Wow." Then I just breathed in and breathed out and said, "You know, I've had an amazing time. It's been an amazing run." Did you get a chance to have a going-away dinner with your castmates, as per tradition? Oh, absolutely. It was around a campfire at the house of one of the producers. And it was beautiful. It was warm and heartfelt and everybody poured their hearts out.” (X). (February 9th, 2015).

Canada.com: What was your reaction when you found out that Tyreese was going to die in the Season 5B premiere, especially so soon after Beth? Christian Serratos: We all get a call when either you or somebody else will be going, so you never really know what’s going to happen or what the outcome of that phone call is going to be. I think we all got the news of both of them in the same phone call. We’re used to hearing about just one person leaving, but as soon as the shock settled with one, we were told we’re also going to lose somebody else. It was a double whammy for all of us.” (X) (X). (February 13th, 2015).

Cast members are allowed to fight for their characters, yet Emily didn’t and didn’t even think to (X). And she wouldn’t need to because Beth wasn’t dying in the first place.

Scott Gimple killed Beth and Tyreese essentially at the same time, and yet he was very clinical towards Beth and Emily when discussing the death (X).

So in summary:

There are inconsistencies in how Emily found out, and she found out later than she is supposed to. Typically cast members know a few weeks ahead of time, but Emily found out a week before, and we’re still not sure how.

Emily’s departure bears similarities to Laurie’s, except Emily still promotes the show. It appears that TPTB created a narrative similar to what happened in season 3

Stalking Dead Interview:

After the mid-season 6 premiere (February 14th, 2016), Kate Nash hosted Stalking Dead with Emily as a guest. The informal interview revealed Emily’s discomfort when talking about Beth, and specifically her death. Team Delusional was also brought up, as well as Beth’s lack of a funeral. It was a gold mine of an episode, and I recommend anyone interested in Team Delusional to watch the whole thing. (Full video here: X. It runs from 4:20 to 1:21:15, before repeating.)

Towards the beginning of the interview Emily pointed out that Glenn left out Beth’s name when listing deceased loved ones, like Dale and Hershel (X) (X at 10:00).

At 46:50, Emily finished talking about how she got the role of Beth and summarized her experience on the show as, “It’s been really amazing.” ‘It has’ is present tense, and Emily had been off the show for over a year at this point. (X).

While reading tweets from fans, Kate read a tweet that referenced Team Delusional, prompting a conversation about the group and conspiracies in general. Emily concluded “You never know” multiple times and “Don’t give up”, even though this would have been the perfect time to shut down fan speculation once and for all. (X) (X at 36:06).

She also said “You never know” when a fan asked if Beth was with Negan. (55:15).

When asked about Bethyl, Emily agreed that she felt there were romantic undertones being hinted at in the script. And again, TPTB would not put Daryl on a romantic arc and then just end it, as Daryl loves for life and Bethyl’s canonicity hasn’t even been confirmed to the general audience. (X at 39:20).

When asked if Beth was in the comics or was supposed to be Andrea in the comics, Emily said,“I don’t think that Beth is supposed to be anyone in the comics. She’s just supposed to be one of Hershel’s kids.” She then explained how the show liked to be different and a remix of the comics, so there were still surprises. Emily’s body was tense, she was fidgety, and she did not look at Kate until she moved the topic away from Beth specifically. Emily shouldn’t “think” that Beth is an original character; she should know. Earlier in the interview she mentioned having read some of the comics when she first got the part, and she also owns second The Walking Dead Compendium, which covers issues 49 to 96 (X). By issue 49, the Greene family had been introduced and reduced to just Maggie. Of her sisters, none of them were like Beth. Interestingly, the second compendium has a lot of Andrea storylines, as it covers the Hunters and Alexandria arc, when she loses her adoptive family and becomes Alexandria’s sniper. (X at 55:22).

Emily confirmed that Beth never received a funeral. A follower on Twitter asked Kate if she believed that Beth deserved a family, and Emily agreed. Though she clarified that, “They had to get out there… I understand. I feel like Beth would have been like I get it. I understand.” Kate asked her then what happened to Beth’s body, and Emily froze. She looked like a deer in headlights. She said, “I don’t really know. I never really -”, and she looked around the room, using Periscope as a distraction. (X) (X at 56:24) (X).

“I do feel like it’s going to go for a while, though, I feel like we’re -- the -- this show.” (X) (X at 1:13:03).

I’ve watched a lot of Emily’s interviews. She is introverted, but open and well-spoken. During Stalking Dead, she fluctuated between that and tense and nervous. For “safe” topics she was completely open. Later in the interview she and Kate talked about performing at another WSC cruise, and she lit up. Emily guards herself when talking about Beth, especially her death. It wasn’t a guard for sadness, there was too much tension. It was a guardedness out of anxiety.

So in summary: 

Beth never received a funeral, as something happened between 5x08 and 5x09, forcing the group to run. This confirms what fans have speculated for over a year, as well as supports the Beth-car theory. 

Emily is a terrible liar. It’s adorable.

The Beth situation is suspicious, and it has been consistently suspicious. Which means that whatever is going on behind-the-scenes is still ongoing. Emily hasn’t moved on from the show, and neither has the narrative and the marketing. Why move on when she’s going to come back?

[psychotherapyconsultants]

Podcast: Host Has a Panic Attack Live While Recording



Panic attacks have a way of popping up at the most inconvenient times – like when you are recording a podcast. In this episode, Gabe has a panic attack in front of the microphone and decides that the silver lining is showing listeners that even someone in recovery has symptoms.

Listen in to this episode to learn about panic attacks and see if Gabe makes it out okay. (Spoiler alert: He’s fine.)

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

“We call ourselves recovered, but these symptoms don’t entirely go away.” – Michelle Hammer

  Highlights From ‘Panic Attack Live’ Episode

[2:30] Gabe is having a panic attack and we recorded it.

[4:00] What caused this panic attack?

[7:40] Gabe’s history of panic attacks.

[11:00] Why does Gabe know so much about his own illness?

[12:50] Michelle’s presence and this show make Gabe stressed out.

[18:00] Is public opinion a stressor?

[25:00] Symptoms don’t entirely go away, even with meds.

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Host Has a Panic Attack Live While Recording’ Show

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Narrator: [00:00:09] For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here your hosts Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.

Michelle: [00:00:19] Welcome to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. I’m Michelle. I have schizophrenia.

Gabe: [00:00:25] My name is Gabe. I have bipolar disorder.

Michelle: [00:00:27] And today we are talking about panic attacks. Gabe, what happened recently?

Gabe: [00:00:35] So I’m going to pull back the curtain a little bit and explain how we’re recording the show.

Gabe: [00:00:40] For most of our shows, Michelle gets in an airplane and flies to my house, like that’s how dedicated we are to making good quality shows.

Michelle: [00:00:49] The plane actually lands in his front yard.

Gabe: [00:00:52] It’s really awesome. I have a giant front yard with an airstrip.

Michelle: [00:00:56] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:00:58] And we get up in them or we plan the shows, we record the shows, we go get Diet Coke. We strangely end up at Sam’s Club a lot, but we record like a lot of shows all at once.

Gabe: [00:01:10] Like this is a big three/four day production to record these shows and we do it a lot.

Michelle: [00:01:17] On this particular day, me and Gabe are watching People’s Court and he starts having a panic attack. Maybe it was The People’s Court and Gabe goes, I’m having a panic attack. Let’s go record.

Gabe: [00:01:33] Yeah. Then that’s exactly what happened. So what you’re about to hear is a very edited version. You know the actual recording was about 45 minutes, maybe closer to an hour of Gabe having a panic attack and Michelle trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. But we edited it down to about 10 minutes of decent quality audio. It’s a little bit messed up. Some of the cuts aren’t what you would necessarily expect, but we wanted to get the good parts and we didn’t. Nobody wants to hear all of it.

Michelle: [00:02:03] Gabe started yelling at me.

Gabe: [00:02:06] That was fun. That was fun. So you’re going to listen to that for the next 10 minutes and then Michelle and I will be back to explain what happened. Here we go.

Narrator: [00:02:17] Here are your hosts Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.

Michelle: [00:02:20] Welcome to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. I’m Michelle. I’m schizophrenic.

Gabe: [00:02:25] I’m Gabe. I’m bipolar and having a panic attack.

Michelle: [00:02:28] Yes, you heard it everybody. Gabe is having a panic attack. Gabe, I wish I knew the best things to say to you right now to help you get out of this panic attack. But do you know what brought on this panic attack?

Gabe: [00:02:40] It’s a lot of stress. There’s a lot of… it’s very stressful having Michelle at my house and it’s very stressful having to do a podcast and it’s very stressful having to talk about trying to hold everything together and keep everything…

Michelle: [00:02:58] Is your heart just palpitating like crazy right now?

Gabe: [00:03:01] I don’t think it’s palpitating, like it’s beating.

Michelle: [00:03:03] It’s pounding. Are you sweating? Are you feeling shortness of breath? Are you feel like you’re being smothered?

Gabe: [00:03:10] Yes.

Michelle: [00:03:11] I know this is like a very terrifying experience for you. How often do you have panic attacks?

Gabe: [00:03:17] Couple of times a week.

Michelle: [00:03:19] Are they all the same?

Gabe: [00:03:21] No, I mean nothing’s all the same, things are just not the same. Look at…

Michelle: [00:03:27] What’s going on with your arm that you’re showing me right now? Is your… are you… Are your hands just shaking so much you just can’t keep your hands still?

Gabe: [00:03:35] There’s that. But look at all this.

Michelle: [00:03:37] You’re changing colors.

Gabe: [00:03:38] Look at all the sweat.

Michelle: [00:03:40] All the sweat because you’re just so hot, you’re overheated.

Gabe: [00:03:44] No I don’t… I don’t think it’s overheated. I think it’s a…

Michelle: [00:03:48] What’s the best case scenario that you think would help you right now? Going to bed? Watching more TV? Hanging out with your dog?

Gabe: [00:03:57] I usually just eat a lot of like salty… like peanuts or pretzels because just the sensation in my mouth feels better and the crunching distracts me. I don’t know if that makes sense. That just feels good.

Michelle: [00:04:15] So this panic attack is brought on by stress by me being here. We have to record a lot of podcasts here, work tomorrow with me over tomorrow on your other podcast for the Psych Central Show… it’s just a lot of things to do and it all kind of just attacked you at once and you’re just kind of losing it in a sense, which is what brought it all on? Was there any like anything said or anything… Was there an external factor or do you think was all internal?

Gabe: [00:04:42] No I don’t think anybody did anything wrong. I think this is just my life.

Michelle: [00:04:46] Your life for the rest of your life. You think will be like this.

Gabe: [00:04:49] Yeah.

Michelle: [00:04:49] Do you have a fast acting anti-anxiety pill that you take ever?

Gabe: [00:04:55] Yes.

Michelle: [00:04:56] Have you taken it?

Gabe: [00:04:57] No.

Michelle: [00:04:57] Will you be taking it after we start recording?

Gabe: [00:05:00] Probably.

Michelle: [00:05:02] Are you scared right now?

Gabe: [00:05:04] I’m not scared. I don’t think anybody’s going to hurt me. I don’t think that you’re going to hurt me. I don’t think… I don’t have the words to describe. I think the reality of my life. Nobody’s going to believe anything.

Michelle: [00:05:18] What do you try and just say we are trying to say we got it.

Gabe: [00:05:21] No I just I think that this is… I think that anybody listening to this is going to think that it’s some sort of bullshit stunt. I don’t think that it’s I just I I’m.

Michelle: [00:05:30] Panic attacks can be brought on by anything. Nobody is going to think that it’s a stunt, nobody is gonna think that you’re lying. Panic attacks just happen. And even though we come on this podcast all the time and we talk and we banter and we have fun while we talk about mental health and mental illness, people don’t always understand that yes, we are mentally ill and we do go through these things. So it is really good when we share you know our stories and when we’re doing well but also when we’re not doing well and why this happens and just you know instead of you know we call ourselves recovered but yet these things still happen to us. And you know mental illness doesn’t just go away just because we take medicine you know symptoms don’t just go away. They can still appear, they can still really affect us. They can just change the way our thoughts are going, they can just attack you, just panic attacks just attack people within minutes. And I’ve never seen you act like this ever. If you think that people are thinking this is a stunt, what would you say to someone who says like Oh Gabe you’re not having a panic attack, why don’t you just calm down, like panic attacks and for little girls?

Gabe: [00:06:46] That’s funny – panic attacks or for little girls. I think you should put that on a shirt. I’ve soaked my jeans with sweat. I’m wearing a hoodie and it’s look that’s from sweat. Maybe you can describe this like describe what you are seeing.

Michelle: [00:07:10] I see a sweaty sweatshirt. I was like. you know that I just googled panic attack and this is what it says. A panic attack is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes and includes at least four of the following symptoms. They are palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate, sweating, trembling or shaking sensations, shortness of breath or smothering. I would say you have all of those symptoms right now 100 percent for sure. What is the best way to get you out of these symptoms? What do you wish people would do? What if you were a young girl and when did you start getting panic attacks?

Gabe: [00:07:52] The first panic attack that I ever remember having was when I was I was married.

Michelle: [00:08:00] Your first wife.

Gabe: [00:08:00] Yeah. And we were at the mall with her aunt who was visiting from out of town and we got into an argument. I don’t remember about what. And I was sitting there in the middle of the mall and behind me was an Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. And after they left, I was just so hot and I didn’t know why I was hot. And I felt weird and I thought I was hungry. I got up and bought a couple of pretzels and a drink. And I sat back down and I ate the pretzels and the drink and I just felt better afterward. And whenever I would get that feeling ever again, I thought it was hunger. So whenever I would feel that way, I would just think Oh I’m hungry again and I would I would eat and this went on for years. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and that I realized that that these were symptoms of anxiety and panic and they weren’t hunger pains. But I had been treating panic attacks with food. I mean you know I weighed 500 and I mean I don’t know how much I weighed then but you know my maximum weight was five hundred and fifty pounds. So it wasn’t surprising that I mistook… I just ate a lot.

Michelle: [00:09:35] I understand that your situation and associating with food was how you thought you were fixing the problem when you didn’t know what the problem essentially was. So then finding out that you were bipolar and that these are panic attacks was actually very beneficial because then you could treat them in the correct way and not just go and eat. So it was actually great that you found out what you actually were having.

Gabe: [00:10:02] Yeah medical science is great.

Michelle: [00:10:04] Do you think there is a difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack?

Gabe: [00:10:08] I don’t think there is a difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack. I know there is a difference between a panic attack and anxiety attack.

Michelle: [00:10:16] OK. So do you do you ever have anxiety attacks?

Gabe: [00:10:21] Yes.

Michelle: [00:10:22] So how do you how do you differentiate yourself and anxiety attack and a panic attack

Gabe: [00:10:22] Because panic attacks are acute. They come on quickly, they’re immediate, and they dissipate, and anxiety attacks are different. They’re just medically different. And they have different symptoms and causes and feelings and I know the difference between them and it’s just experience. I had a friend when I was younger who had cancer. He was my age, we were both 15 years old. I used to think that his mom was just so incredibly smart because she knew so much about cancer and about his medication and his treatments and she had every answer that you would ever need to know. But she wasn’t smart. I mean she was, she’s smart, she’s a smart lady. It was survival. She needed to know this to save her kid and to protect her kid and to make him feel better. That’s why I know so much about bipolar disorder and panic attacks and anxiety and mental illness. It’s not because I’m smart it’s because I have to, just like she had to and he had to.

Michelle: [00:11:46] So to keep yourself well, you keep yourself educated.

Gabe: [00:11:50] Yeah. To keep myself well, I have to know.

Gabe: [00:11:53] Is that a stressful thing for you? Was going out to lunch today a stressful thing for you?

Gabe: [00:11:59] I think that you’re just stressful, Michelle.

Michelle: [00:12:01] I’m stressful.

Gabe: [00:12:03] I mean…

Michelle: [00:12:03] Just dealing with me. Am I unpredictable?

Gabe: [00:12:07] No sadly you’re very predictable.

Michelle: [00:12:10] I said something wrong to you? Is it a…

Gabe: [00:12:12] No, Michelle. It’s not. No that’s not what I mean. I just I think that maybe people don’t understand the structure of our working relationship. You know we don’t have money. So when we do a lot of this stuff, when we’re working you’re around and when we’re not working, because you’re staying at my house, you know, you’re in my house and there’s no reprieve and there’s nowhere to go and we’re just… it’s just this onslaught. It’s not you, it’s not Michelle Hammer it’s not it’s just…

Michelle: [00:12:48] Working.

Gabe: [00:12:49] Some of the things that we do to make this show are not mentally healthy for me, they’re not.

Michelle: [00:12:55] Like the things we talk about.

Gabe: [00:12:57] The things that we talk, about the things that we do, the way that we record. You know, sometimes it would be better if it’s just like, OK well Michelle’s pissed off and doesn’t want to talk about it. So the smart thing to do would be for me to just be like, oh OK I’ll go stand over here and we’ll talk about it tomorrow, but we can’t talk about it tomorrow because tomorrow you’re on an airplane and then you’re in New York. So I think, OK we got to do it. Got to do it right now. We got to. And then you’re like, Well fuck you, Gabe, stop talking to me and I’m like, Yeah that’s the reason why I don’t want to talk to me either.

Michelle: [00:13:32] Well nothing is ever easy when dealing with other people.

Gabe: [00:13:36] Yeah. People suck. I don’t even think that. Anybody that knows me that hears me say people suck, that’s when they know I’ve hit a wall.

Michelle: [00:13:44] I think sometimes when you kind of have a plan to do things and then when your plan doesn’t go as planned, it’s very frustrating and it just brings down a lot of stress and that you know like you’re going to do. And then you just think the whole world is imploding because nothing’s going as planned and everything’s kind of crashing down.

Gabe: [00:14:04] Sure. You ever seen the movie Gattaca? It came out in the 80s or 90s. But anyways that was one of those, you know, dystopian future things where they took people’s DNA and they determined what people could do based on a DNA test. And there was this person in it where they took his DNA and they determined what he could do based on his DNA. But he didn’t accept that. So his brother, the main character’s brother, had the DNA that said that he could swim 10 miles. I’m really messing this story all to hell. So the two boys, the one had the DNA that said that he could do it and the other had the DNA that said that he couldn’t.

Michelle: [00:14:54] They switched DNA?

Gabe: [00:14:55] No they didn’t switch the DNA. The brother couldn’t figure out how his brother that wasn’t supposed to be able to swim all the way to the buoy and back could make it back without dying. And he said, because if I didn’t swim back, I’d die. And in that situation, you just have to do it. I don’t know how I make shit work. It’s not life or death, doing our show.

Michelle: [00:15:22] I get that, but I hope this is not what 23 and Me is doing with our DNA. Also just saying that was a joke a joke.

Gabe: [00:15:32] No I actually just thought, oh fuck. I think that’s what they’re doing with our DNA.

Michelle: [00:15:37] I was a lifeguard for six summers. If you swim all the way to the buoy and you can’t swim back, you then go on your back and you kind of just float on your back and push yourself back that way, elementary backstroke.

Gabe: [00:15:52] It was just an analogy.

Michelle: [00:15:54] I know was just an analogy, but I get it. You have to you know, power through because you have to come back.

Gabe: [00:16:02] Because there’s no other way to do it. When we have more time, more energy, more money, maybe we’ll do it differently.

Narrator: [00:16:11] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist, whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Michelle: [00:16:43] Ok Gabe and we’re back. Everybody’s just heard this stressful panic attack that you went through and everything you said. My biggest question why is me being with you so stressful?

Gabe: [00:16:56] Well as I explained on the show, it’s not just you. It’s not any one thing. Recording these shows is really hard. I really don’t think that people understand the emotional outlay of thinking of all of your worst moments, of all of your regrets, of all of your mistakes. I mean, we have a lot invested in these episodes. We really try not to be surfacy. We really try to dig deep into our emotions about living with mental illness and doing that two, three, four, five, six shows in a matter of one or two days. That’s a lot. And your running around my house chasing my dog.

Michelle: [00:17:35] Your dog wants to play with me Gabe.

Gabe: [00:17:39] My dog is bad ass. I’m not going to lie.

Michelle: [00:17:42] And then you also said like people think you fake it.

Gabe: [00:17:46] People do.

Michelle: [00:17:46] That’s so mean that people think you’re faking a panic attack.

Gabe: [00:17:50] I don’t think that, I don’t. I didn’t mean people think that I’m faking a panic attack. They just… when you’re in the public eye like we are, you invite comments. Many of those comments are very reassuring and they’re very complimentary and they feel like a big hug, but not all of them are. We get a lot of very critical e-mails. And I have a thick skin. I’ve developed one over the years, but some of them are hard not to take personally. And the one that is the hardest not to take personally is the people that say you’re faking for attention. You don’t have mental illness. You don’t have bipolar disorder, people with schizophrenia act this way, people with bipolar act this way. You have a home, so I don’t know why you’re complaining about mental illness and on and on… that’s a lot to endure. I don’t like to be called a liar. I don’t like to be told that I’m attention seeking.

Michelle: [00:18:44] I agree with that. I agree with that. I get the same thing, that that does make sense. That is very frustrating when people just downplay your mental illness because they think that anyone with a mental illness can’t have any kind of success or achievements, which really just is a whole bunch of stigma. I mean don’t you… Don’t people want to see people with mental illness living well? And then once they do is they, Oh you’re not mentally ill.

Gabe: [00:19:07] We really sort of exist in these two ways, either we are incredibly sick and will never be well or we’re dramatic, faking liars. We can’t have sick and wellness, we can only have sick and fake or sick and con or sick and drama. And that really bums me out because neither choice is good. I don’t want to be seen as a dramatic lying stereotype who’s conning people out of money. I also don’t want to be, you know, sick and terrified and walking around my front yard, keeping the demons away from my wife, which for longtime listeners of the show, that they’ve heard this story a time or two and you know, Michelle, we’ve talked about you. I mean think of all of you used to think that your mom wanted to kill you. You clearly don’t want to go back to that.

Michelle: [00:19:57] No not one bit. I don’t want to go back to that at all. No paranoia ever. If I get any bout of any paranoia, I take anti-anxiety at that very moment because I am so terrified of paranoid thoughts getting into my head. It’s one of the scariest things. I’m almost scared so much and becoming paranoid almost more than I’ll be paranoid.

Gabe: [00:20:20] That’s one of the things that we sort of touched on it in our screaming match that we edited out. Thank you, Michelle, for still being my co-host. But it’s scary stuff. Now I have a question for you, Michelle.

Michelle: [00:20:35] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:20:36] You experienced the same thing. We kind of talked about it a little, you know, after we got done recording, you know later that night, it’s hard for you too because you’re away from home. You’re staying in a strange place. You don’t have any of your friends and in your words you think Ohio is really boring and…

Michelle: [00:20:54] I’m not the only one. I am not the only one that thinks Ohio is really boring. It definitely feels that way. I’m not the only one.

Gabe: [00:21:05] But you have to spend three or four days doing this deep emotional dive as well. And it’s a lot of work, it’s a lot of energy, and you’re away from your support system to work out… we really are locked in a room doing all of this recording. It’s really hard. How do you handle it? I know the panic attacks are a symptom that you suffer from, but I know that you get emotionally drained. I can tell by the way you yell at me on day three that there’s something going on in there and that’s not an insult.

Michelle: [00:21:34] When you just have to play that song about people getting lap dances.

Gabe: [00:21:36] Yeah yeah yeah yeah well we know that. I know the song the lap dance on that’s my song.

Michelle: [00:21:41] Turn that song off. I can’t take that song down. Everybody that’s not again. I don’t even now I eat is stressful because you’re in a new element. You don’t know where you are. What I do for finding your place is I chase your dog around the living room. Your dog is my best friend.

Gabe: [00:21:57] Hey.

Michelle: [00:21:59] What?

Gabe: [00:21:59] I’m your best friend.

Michelle: [00:22:01] Kendall’s your best friend.

Gabe: [00:22:04] No. Lisa’s my best friend.

Michelle: [00:22:07] Your wife is supposed to be your best friend Gabe.

Gabe: [00:22:11] Why is that a thing?

Michelle: [00:22:12] Aren’t you supposed to marry your best friend?

Gabe: [00:22:17] I think this is the number one cause of all of the divorces in the country, that we expect our spouses to be everything. Literally everything. Anything you name people were like, Well that should be your wife. Your wife is supposed to be your partner, your best friend, your TV watching buddy. Your confidant. But I mean just at what point are you putting so much on one person that they’re just like, I’m out? That would cause anybody to have a panic attack and that’s really why I bring it up when you are in Ohio. I am everything to you. And in order to make due of our time you are everything to me. So we can’t get away from each other. We get the brunt of our success or failure, our happiness, our work, our just everything that happens is Gabe Michelle, Gabe and Michelle, Gabe and Michelle and by day three, I’m just like I hate you Michelle! And you are like…

Michelle: [00:23:14] I hate you Gabe!

Gabe: [00:23:15] Exactly. And there is no better way to do this. I mean I suppose if we had like billions of dollars there’d be a better way.

Michelle: [00:23:22] If there’s an angel investor, if you’re an angel investor and you know, if you’re a philanthropist, if you want to give us like a billion dollars so that we don’t get in these stressful fights you are more than welcome to send us the check, email us at show@psychcentral.com.

Gabe: [00:23:40] Yeah. Email us at show@psychcentral.com with your billion dollar check. Yes.

Michelle: [00:23:44] Yes yes. Putting it out there, more than welcome.

Gabe: [00:23:46] You never know. The answer is always no if you don’t ask. The question really should be, Why don’t I have more panic attacks when you’re around? I have an anxiety disorder. I have panic disorder and this is hard. I’m not repeating this over and over again to annoy people, I’m just stating the fact that this is the first panic attack that I’ve ever had on the air is really quite remarkable. It really really is. In that way, I want to thank you Michelle, because it shows that you are a great and supportive co-host. I don’t want to do the show with anybody else, because I think with anybody else it would be a lot worse, because this is hard shit. And believe it or not, you are really good at being supportive. When you want to be.

Michelle: [00:24:34] When I want, when I want to be.

Gabe: [00:24:35] When you want to be.

Michelle: [00:24:37] When I want to be. I mean, I think it’s good also because it shows that you know colors have recovered. But you know these symptoms they don’t go away.

Gabe: [00:24:44] They don’t.

Michelle: [00:24:45] I mean I take seven medications, I’ve said that many times, yet I still talk to myself.

Gabe: [00:24:51] And you have a great video out right now. You should really bop over to PsychCentral’s Facebook page. Look in the video section and there is a great video that was made by Michelle Hammer where she’s showing herself talking to herself and talking about those symptoms. We will put a link in the show notes for this episode. But again, you can also head over to PsychCentral’s Facebook page and give it a watch. It’s really good. Now eventually, Michelle, you have to freak out and we have to record it so I don’t know if I have to hide your meds or maybe keep you up for three days. But we’ve already had game to play this kind of show and gave panic on the show. Does Michelle freak out on the show?

Michelle: [00:25:28] I can not take my nighttime medicine and then not take my morning medicine and I’ll just go nuts.

Gabe: [00:25:35] This is not a good idea. And we will not be doing this. We should probably give up before we close here. You know, do as we do and not as we say is something that my father used to say to me. I don’t know why when I had a panic attack and I looked over at Michelle, the first thing I thought about was, oh my god there’s podcasting equipment upstairs. This probably isn’t the healthiest thing to do. And I should note and say that if Michelle wasn’t there I would have taken… I have medication for this that I carry in my pocket. I would have taken a deep breath. My wife would rub my back. I did not make a smart decision by deciding to record and let the panic attack.

Michelle: [00:26:14] No. You did make a smart decision because we’re showing our listeners what a panic attack can be and showing them how it can manifest in different people. Even though we consider ourselves recovered, we’re showing people that yes we still have panic attacks and I think it is a good thing to record a podcast about it just to show people it happens and when it goes through what it can be like. And you are the great Gabe Howard, the host of the PsychCentral Show and the co-host of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. And yet you still have panic attacks, so you’re just being an open book and showing everybody what it’s like.

Gabe: [00:26:51] I love that. I’ve decided that from now on, I am the great Gabe and you are the magnificent Michelle.

Michelle: [00:26:57] OK I’m down with that.

Gabe: [00:26:59] Together we are the… we need something that starts with an H because we both have H last names. The Honorable Howard and Hammer except honorable is lame.

Michelle: [00:27:08] Honorable is kind of lame.

Gabe: [00:27:10] We will put that out to our audience. E-mail show@psychcentral.com about what H word goes with Howard and Hammer that describes the great Gabe and the magnificent Michelle. Thank you everybody for tuning into this episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you are not telling your friends, you are making us poor. Please tell everybody that you know, like us, rate us, rank us everywhere you download this podcast and finally, comment on PsychCentral.com/BSP. We will see everybody next week!

Michelle: [00:27:40] Why am I so stressful!?

Narrator: [00:27:43] You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself. Head on over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app. Subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral.com. The show’s official Web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at show@PsychCentral.com. Thank you for listening, and share widely.

  Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts

GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.

  MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcast-host-has-a-panic-attack-live-while-recording/