#yeah no shit I can’t do what other people do in art…I barely have any time invested in it

[angeltannis]

Me seeing any art: I could never draw that, god drawing is so hard to even just do the basics, I must really have no talent, why did I waste all these years not practicing, I’ll never be able to express myself in art

Also me: *saying this while working on hundreds of thousands of words of stories that I write while at work because it’s so second nature that I don’t even need full concentration or an optimal setting*

[kafka-ish]

I want to be Art’s dealer when he needs an eighth after one of his games. I want him to get my number from Patrick because he’s new to this & doesn’t know anyone or anywhere else to get it. Hey, u got any weed? He texts him.

Not on me.

Shit.

I know I’ve been going crazy

Do u know anyone?

The next message is your number. No name. No address. Nothing. But Art’s desperate for a cool down that doesn’t include a tub of ice or a communal sauna. He’s going out on a limb here—hitting send as soon as Patrick relays the message. Nothing too suspicious. You’re at home when you receive a text from an unknown sender.

Maybe Art: Hey, Patrick gave me ur number. This is Art

Come by around 9

You tell him which dorm.

Maybe Art: Okay

He’s at your door at nine sharp, still in his tennis uniform. He’s sweaty from practice, nervously gripping his racket bag and wondering if he should knock or text. Obviously he’s never done this.

He knocks. Doesn’t expect to be met with a girl half his size on the other side. Maybe you’re just the dude’s girlfriend and you happen to be over and end up answering. And in that case he really shouldn’t be looking but he can’t help it. Your hair is wet like you just got done showering. Your shorts ride up, or maybe he’s just imagining things. But he’s not imagining your shirt that’s see-through and barely covers your abdomen. He introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Art.” Maybe that’ll clear up the confusion.

“Yeah you texted me earlier. Come on in.” You leave the door open. You also leave Art dumbfounded.

Art makes sure to shut the door behind him but he doesn’t sit down. Stands awkwardly by the entrance, wondering what he should do with his bag, thumbing the strap.

“So Patrick sent you, huh?” Your voice comes from the kitchen and Art nods even though you can’t see him. He realizes this and dumbly says yes. You look up from the counter, sandwich bag in hand, and you smile at Art who’s fiddling his thumbs by the doorway. “You can sit down. Make yourself at home.”

"Cool." He settles down on your couch, looking around the place, trying not to be obvious even though it is. You smile, wanting to relax him. That's what he's here for, isn't it? His tennis bag is at his feet and he rests his hands on his knees, trying to take up as little space as possible.

"I won't bite, you know," you say, sitting next to him. You place a scale on the coffee table next to a tray of weed that's already been ground. About an ounce, though Art's never seen that much weed at one time. The only time he smokes is with Patrick every once in a while.

"Yeah, I know. I just--"

"What? Is this your first time or something?"

"No! I--I mean. Buying yes." His cheeks are red.

"Okay well don't worry. It's real easy." Art nods. Believes this. "Well."

"Well what?"

"Now I know why Patrick sent you to me."

"Sometimes it's easy." You laugh. Like an inside joke you have but only with yourself. "Sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"No it's fine." And Art gives you this look. Like it is fine. Keep going. Explain everything to me. He wants to know the basics, the hard stuff and everything in between. You just shake your head. Ask how much he needs. "How much do people usually get?"

"Depends on the person." You shrug.

"How much does Patrick get?"

"Like an ounce. Half if he's short on cash." Art raises his eyebrow, shocked he didn't know that about his friend.

"So I should get an ounce," Art says. More of a question than a statement. He's testing the waters. Putting himself out there.

"How much do you smoke?" You push back. You want him to be careful. You also can't risk putting a super hot new customer in danger.

"Honestly? Only with Patrick." He's bashful when he admits this. You probably think he's lame now and totally off your radar. You're never gonna let him step foot into this apartment let alone sell to him again.

"Yeah you don't need an ounce," you say smiling, thinking of how he came in all politely with his tennis racket just like a puppy, tail tucked nervously between its legs, not knowing if he should stand or sit, silently observing your things. He has a good head on his shoulder with a future ahead of him and here you are selling him weed. Who are you to take advantage of such a thing just because Patrick sent him?

"So what do I need?"

"Probably some melatonin and a really good massage. But I'll give you an eighth and pretend like this never happened." This is the first time you've felt bad about selling. You take a jar from a drawer. There's even more weed in it than on the table, but in clumps. Green wads with streaks of purple. You set each on the scale in individuals first before packaging his pile in the bag you grabbed from earlier. "Here."

"How much?"

"On me this time. Think of it as a sample. You got a grinder or you smoking with Patrick?" Art's at a loss for words. He wants to pay you. He has cash too. He'll take you out to dinner. Instead he just says

"No, I, uh. Don't."

"Want me to roll you a joint?"

But before he can say anything you already find yourself folding a zig-zag with the filter, scooping the weed you have out with your fake nail into the paper. Art watches your hands. An expert at work. He thinks how everyone has their own niche and this is yours, just like how he has the tennis court.

When you walk him out you tell him to be safe. You're still smiling. You've never been this happy to not get money. He's about to leave but says, "I can pay, you know. I want this to be an honest transaction and everything."

"Art, I'm a drug dealer."

"Yeah, well--"

"Bye, Artie."

[pansy-picnics]

Sorry but your recent artwork has me thinking about parent Varigo and I have to dump my thoughts somewhere. I feel like, if they actually had a kid it would be really emotional for them but in different ways. Varian finds out he’s pregnant and is a little scared at first, but he actually adjusts to the idea pretty fast and is excited about it, because he’s in a good place now and has a good support system. He doesn’t have to worry about his family judging him, he knows they’ll still see him for who he is. Hugo on the other hand is terrified. But not because he doesn’t wanna be a dad, he’s pretty excited about that, he’s just really scared that Varian is going to get sick from the pregnancy, or that the whole experience is gonna be too much for him. He feels like this is just another thing he’s “putting Varian through” because he’s still not quite over the guilt of his betrayal years ago, and now it’s coming back to haunt him. They work it out of course and Hugo realizes that it’s gonna be okay and that he also can depend on Varian’s family for support because they’re his family too. Now I’m emotional. Anyway I love your art <3

AUGHHHH YEAH YEAH THIS IS SO REAL!!!!! i love plots like that fr, their characters are so fun to explore😭😭😭 Honestly? i think in the right circumstances hugo could be a deadbeat dad. like he could just straight up leave bc he’s paranoid varian or the kid would get hurt or he’d put them in danger or something. he’s the kind of guy who’s always Running! like i could think of scenarios where he’d run away on their wedding day too. those are both horrible extremes SORRY FOR THE ANGST I JUST THINK IT’S NEAT.

i think hugo’s always WANTED a family but its something she’s always viewed as unachievable, mostly bc of the shitty living situation hes been in for most of his life. she could barely survive on her own and she’d never want to drag someone else into that yk? and she’s still scared of that commitment even after she moves into the castle, bc what if she DID have a kid and then something happened and she couldn’t take care of them anymore, or she ends up on the streets again….and what if she just ends up abandoning them? what if she’s no better than the parents she never even knew? it’s like, obviously she wouldn’t do any of those things or be in those situations but she has….a Lot of anxiety around it for sure. but i also think that she tries to adopt literally every orphan she and varian see. she LOVES kids as much as she pretends she doesn’t and its very obvious….she just hasn’t really had the privilege to be able to think about it until now.

varian…i think he goes either way, he doesn’t really plan to have kids but he’ll kinda learn to adjust to whatever, he’s also just a very family oriented guy so he’s definitely not opposed to that kind of role. in my head they usually adopt bc i think varian like, Hates anything related to the human body at all so even disregarding the gender dysphoria pregnancy is SO gross to him. idk why i just think he’s silly like that. hell make bombs and poisonous chemicals but he remembers people have organs and he wants to throw up. i’m not opposed to the idea of them having biological kids at all though…especially considering all the art i’ve already drawn for it’s us against the world LOL. personally i think even if he weren’t opposed to the idea he’d be miserable the entire time, and not even like in a serious way necessarily he’s just REALLY mad that he can’t work in the lab anymore. he’s pissed about EVERYTHING, actually. he’s bored and he’s tired and he can’t work and he feels like shit and he doesn’t really have any other hobbies either. his whole life and routine has been completely fucked over for nine months and SURE he loves the kid and he’s excited but like why does it need to be in there that long. why can’t it just come from the stork or something. 🙄/j

i think he might pick a few fights with hugo bc of it, just because he’s so overwhelmed and emotional and doesn’t know how to handle it, but hugo’s really understanding; also they’ll honestly take any kind of treatment from him because they’re like, “Yeah i probably deserved that”. which varian does NOT like btw and always gets on his ass later to stick up for himself more while also in tears apologizing for yelling at him

idk i just think them as parents would be Sooo silly. neither of them have any clue what they’re doing. dude if those two had a baby? Dude can you imagine? varian’s sooo fucking sheltered i think he’s only interacted with like, 2 babies in his entire life. quirin stays with them for tje first few weeks bc varian literally just has NO clue what he’s doing and is crying to him all the time. and hugo like, has an idea of what to do but he’s also SUPER paranoid. they’re both just staring at the kid while they sleep not so much out of adoration but because they’re just terrified they’ll stop breathing at any moment. you cant convince me that either of them know how to change a diaper. They’re gonna bring out like full lab gear. like the gag where the dads will pull out full hazmat suits for the diaper change. That’s them idc

ruddiger is also SO protective of their kids from the moment they’re born, like he jumps up into the crib and snuggles up with them and they always IMMEDIATELY stop crying. olivia is the opposite. she’s kinda like a toddler who just got a new sibling she didn’t want. shes pissed that she isn’t getting hugo’s full attention and keeps being a brat about it. hugo’s just trying to calm down his baby and olivias glaring at him while she’s about to push a glass off the table

yeah idk i. have a lot of thoughts abt them too they’re so beloved to me

[bigpp6999]

Yes.

so tired of people not knowing who aki and haru is that I decided to take it in my own hands, oh and also honey <3 but anyways my brain hates me and decided that it’s going to hyperfixated on underrated characters and then captures me and forces me to draw fan art so here’s aki, haru, and honey [also Headcanon for all three, ignore how I completely forgot about trois ❤️]

ignore how it looks bad I’m trying to experiment with my artstyle okay hc

Ages? Aki: 28 [cmon his a teacher] haru is probably like 27 and honey has a confirmed age I think it’s 20!!! how the fuck did haru and Aki steal the uniforms? I feel like haru and aki have known each other ever since they were like 14 so since then they’ve just been stealing??? And when people suspected shit [aka when they were on the verge of graduating] they stopped but then continued when they turned 25/26 and they like started stealing again 💀💀💀 and then they got caught and started escaping and ended up in nanbaka ❤️

also yes I created my own ship and stated shipping aki and haru bc I can’t see ppl as friends ❤️❤️❤️ plus they just look gay 🙁 also what the hell are YOU going to do about it? 💀 anyways I’m trying to come up w a creative ass names and it’s not working

also I’m also just rlly going to be making haru and aki fanart and will share my couple gfs there bc I’m uh not straight 😭 omg aki looks terrifying I swear I will do better in my next art piece

fun fact aki means fall and haru means spring and that jst made me ship them more, i have problems k? Anyways haru has his own restaurant and it’s running very goodly, he first worked for chimney [aka also his master which im pretty sure is canon] but then got his own restaurant 🔥🔥🔥

queer hcs: Aki is queer [he dosent label himself] and he uses any pronouns bro does not gaf

haru is def pansexual and is on the demiromantic spectrum pronouns I feel like he would go with he/them or he/him

honey is for sure bisexual and and I feel like he would be bigender hear me out okay???? He looks bigender, anygays he/her or she/him if his felling goofy they/them but mostly mixed online like she/him!!!!

Ik trois ain’t on here but im also just going to slide it in [yes like that.] I feel like he would also be like fuckibg bisexual, asexual spectrum!!! Pronouns he/him

oh I also ship honey and trois they’re adorable!!

As for like their jobs I already explained Harus but I feel like aki have worked with elementary, middle and high school for some reason??? He worked in high school the most tho. I also feel like he had his own like room and office which he decorated, now idk if they have like a semester for health but if they did that’s nice. Haru and aki were def roommates in like college like I said they were friends ever since like they were 14!!! Also aki is just a nickname for him his real name is akifumi but ppl started calling him aki bc he literally looks like the season autumn so yeah, Harus name is just haru idfk 💀 also haru is half French and aki is half Russian and no one can stop me from hc that! Haru knows French and aki barely knows Russian but he thugs it out after all bro is in Japan he dosent need to know Russian for that LMAO. Also I feel like aki was rlly popular in high school bc he played like volleyball and haru was like the weird kid but when they became friends haru also became popular [after some struggle ofc] also chimney took haru in when he was like 13 LMAO so yeah

[jukemaestro]

Hasty Decisions (All Might x Reader) R18+ Part 1

*I haven't wrote and published in a long time. This is a long one that's been in the works. Please let me know about any thoughts. I'll post part 2 in a week* Enjoy :)

*******

It was irritating at first, not knowing where he really was during his daily escapades. We had agreed on several things when we first started hooking up: 

Don’t call or message each other during work 

He would be the one to arrange our meetings (locations, time etc)

Don’t reveal his quirk or truth about him to anyone 

And lastly, refer to him as Toshi when we weren’t working

Truly, I don’t think I’ve met someone who required such unique conditions until I started seeing Toshinori. We had originally met during a hero conference I attended on behalf of my agency. My quirk was a unique one of sorts. You see, what it lacks in physical damage, it thrives in psychological damage. My quirk is Persuasion. I could control people, not in the way that brainwashing would, but I could read people’s thoughts and influence their decisions to a certain extent. In many ways, I can be the annoying voice that pesters your every waking move or the voice of reason. I don’t need to talk to people to have my quirk take effect, but all I need is concentration to immobilize someone. 

However, the downside of my quirk is that I get completely isolated in my conversation and become unable to listen to the world around me, leaving me physically vulnerable. Another thing is that if someone is incredibly strong-willed, my quirk would have a limited amount of influence on them. Because I can’t tell how strong someone’s resolve is by looking at them, I carry around a bo-staff for my protection as I had been trained with it, as well as in martial arts, since I was a child. Because these are dangerous times, my bo-staff also has a unique feature. Thanks to my friends in support development, it can expand into a shield to protect myself if I’m in a situation where there are bullets involved and I can’t control the shooter. It makes the bo staff heavy, but if it protects me, then I’m willing to get stronger to use it. They were also kind enough to create shoes that changed into roller blades on my command so that I could chase down villains faster.

Needless to say, my quirk and my support gear were usually great conversation starters at social functions. That’s where All Might and I started our relationship of sorts. I was at the conference for half a day and I was exhausted. The last conference room where my presence was required was relatively empty. I was on a sofa and in the middle of drinking my second flute of champagne when All Might walked in. I was surprised at first, because I hadn’t expected him to be in this specific meeting. Nobody really seemed to make a fuss at his presence, but it was only then that I realized that was because most of the heroes attending that meeting were his coworkers from UA. I definitely needed another drink after that realization, so I stood and walked to the table spread that had the free champagne and snacks. I picked up another flute, turned around, and bumped into someone. When I looked up, I realized that it was All Might and I became a little flustered. He was significantly taller than I had expected and I barely reached his torso.

“Shit. Oh, excuse me, I wasn’t paying attention.” I said, embarrassed.

“No, I should apologize. I was distracted too.” He responded by putting his hands up defensively.

“Yeah, free drinks and food can definitely do that to people.” I joked and took a sip of my champagne. He let out a thunderous laugh in response, which made a few people glance in our direction. I was surprised that he actually laughed. Once he calmed down, he asked for my hero name and where I worked. 

“Casanova. I work at the Gunhead Hero Office.” 

“Really? I think I might’ve seen you around before. You skate and fight with a bo staff, correct?”

“Yes, actually. But that has nothing to do with my quirk.” 

“Persuasion, right? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you at UA before during a Sports Festival.” Wow. The fact that All Might knew who I was, remembered that we both went to UA, and somehow remembered my quirk and fighting abilities had me a little flustered. 

“I’m surprised you know all that. I don’t believe we spoke before since we attended UA different years. Once you went Pro, everyone knew who you were.” I smiled politely.

 Once I finished speaking, there was an announcement from the person on the panel that the conference was about to start.

“Such a shame to cut this conversation so short, would you care to sit with me?” I asked, gesturing towards the sofa in the back of the room.

“Sure! I like to sit in the back since my height can make it difficult for people that are shorter than me to see.” 

“It’s hard for me to see past someone who is average height. I’d be bamboozled if you suddenly sat in front of me, so I appreciate it.” He chuckled and sat beside me on the sofa, pulling out a comically small notepad and pen from his outrageously bright yellow suit pocket.

The lecture was definitely on the slow side, mostly discussing basic organization techniques I was already familiar with, but All Might seemed to be engrossed in it, judging by how rapidly he was making note of everything. At first I wasn’t interested in reading his thoughts, but given the boring nature of this lecture, the idea was extremely tempting. Who wouldn’t want to know what the number one hero was thinking about? So I took a peak and as it would turn out, he had a lot going on in there. 

His rapid moving thoughts showed that he was scared that I was going to try to read his mind and “find out something”. I also saw myself in a few favorably lewd positions that I wouldn’t oppose being in if given the opportunity. Along with that, he was also worried about storage space and if he should buy the exact folder the speaker recommended. It was quite amusing actually. His ability to gather and organize information was amazing, as would be expected for the number one hero. I didn’t mention anything to him, but smirked in satisfaction as I took another sip of my champagne. There was about 15 minutes left of the presentation, so I decided to take my chance and see if I could sneak away and have some fun with him.

“It’s so empty here tonight. I half expected that more people would still be here. The seminars around this time are rather dull, but the drinks are definitely worth my time.” I whispered to try to distract him.

“What? Oh yes, it is quite empty isn’t it?” He said quite nervously. I could hear him start to get anxious and thinking about wanting to leave soon; something pertaining to a shortage of time. He wondered if I would accept wanting to leave with him since I looked bored. What a perfect opportunity.

“Hey, do you want to get out of here? ‘Play hooky’ if you know what I mean? I doubt my agency would care about my disappearance in the last 15 minutes of the ‘Improve Your Record Filing Technique’ seminar.”

“You just read my mind.” He said in an intended joking manner, but I could see sweat drip down his neck and various thoughts flashed too rapidly for me to comprehend. 

“Hm. Maybe. I pretty much already know everything they’re sharing, so I can help you out with organization since you practically wrote down everything the speaker said.” I teased, finishing the rest of my flute.

He blushed and scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.“I’d appreciate it.”

I didn’t feel bad tapping into his mind, especially not after he offered me his arm and led me towards the nearest exit. Once we got out of the building and onto the empty sidewalk, I decided to at least keep the conversation going.

“So where to? Your place, mine, or a hotel?”

“What? Oh! I’m sorry, I think you may have misunderstood my intentions.” He said nervously, backing away from me.

“And what exactly are your intentions, Mr. All Might?” I said, leaning against the wall and crossing my arms. He became flustered and rubbed the back of his neck. Probably a nervous habit. 

“I thought that perhaps you would like me to walk you home or recommend some storage folders. You know, something harmless of that nature.”

“Hm. I won’t do anything you don’t want to All Might. Like keeping you from something. I know you’re quite short on time, so I’ll make this quick: I would like to see you under more private conditions. Only if you’d want. I don’t do these things often, but you were quite flustered earlier and perhaps I assumed too much. But if that’s not what you want, then we can drop this and move on.” He looked like he was going to faint from shock before cooling down and looking at me seriously.

“Did you read my thoughts?”

“Not everything.” I avoided direct eye contact and looked away.

He stepped forward and closed the distance between us. He placed a hand on my shoulder with a firm grip, making me tense. His piercing blue eyes sent chills down my spine as our bodies almost touched. My face was already flushed from the alcohol, but now I could feel it heating up due to his proximity. 

“I kindly ask you not to do that again. I have some things I’d rather not share with the public and I intend to keep it that way. So if you want this to work out how you plan to, we’re going to have to set up some ground rules.”

“Which you rightfully deserve.”

“The first rule is simple. Don’t read my mind without asking. I have a hard time trusting people who invade my privacy. But since you were at least upfront with me, I’ll make an exception this time. Second, I decide where we go. We’ll go to your place since you offered. And lastly, please call me Toshinori when we’re not working.”

“Right this way then Toshinori. It’s a 10 minute walk from here.” 

“Are you sober?”

“What?” I stumbled slightly.

“You drank at least two flutes of champagne before we left. Did you drink before?”

I had to think about how I wanted to answer that. In truth, I don’t remember how much I drank today. Do I lie and tell him no so I could have a once in a lifetime godly experience? Or should I be honest and risk losing that opportunity altogether? I’m thinking clearly aren’t I? I hastily made my decision.

“No.”

He stood close to me and stared me down. I looked back with the same intensity. Hopefully I would pass. Champagne had a low alcohol content. 

He grunted lightly.

“You lead the way then, Casanova.”

Success.

“Please just call me Nova.” 

“Alright then, Nova.”

The walk was quiet, and like he had asked, I didn’t pry into his mind. As the walk progressed, so did my excitement. Sure things may have started off kind of shaky and my buzz was killed, but I’m used to the distrust towards people with mind control based quirks. Besides, this was only meant to be a hookup so I couldn’t really be bothered to try to change his thoughts about me or my quirk. The damage was already done. 

“Please come in.” I said once we reached my door.

“Pardon the intrusion.” He said as we entered and took off our shoes. 

“Believe me, you definitely aren’t intruding. Would you care for a drink? I have sake, wine, whiskey, vodka, the list goes on.”

“I can’t drink. I’m sorry.” 

I took immediate notice of how his emphasis was on can’t instead of don’t. It was a word usage that was subtle and piqued my interest, but I decided not to pry.

“No problem. I can make mocktails, but there’s also tea or water if you’d prefer. I don’t have any roommates and my neighbors are out of town. We can be as loud or as quiet as you-” I was cut off by his body that pressed me against the wall and his hand cupped my face. Internal panic was setting in. I felt claustrophobic and swallowed a lump that began to form in my throat. His piercing blue eyes looked me up and down and he leaned down to kiss me. He was surprisingly gentle, almost as if he was afraid of hurting me. My panic subsided with his reassuring kisses and I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed back. The height difference between us was comical, I was standing on my tiptoes whereas he had to crouch down significantly to reach me. His hand slid from my cheek, down my shoulder and found its way to my hip.

Thank god I made the right decision.

[devilbeez]

Let me take you through the journey of me speed running my portfolio, smile

Mostly because I need somewhere to write this and word doc wouldn’t give me feed backs

Note that this will be very wonky because I have not thought of anything but the concept— I have 1 out of 6 characters figured out so imma color code them and call them by alphabet

Concept and inspiration:

What I wrote for my portfolio: Artist’s emotion and upbringing always had been reflected in their art. So what would happen if in a world where that part is intensified for the viewer to see

What actually started this: I want sport anime type of story but with Artists. Also this scene from Ouran host club that inspired Aster don’t question why just take it.

Story:

I’m still debating on what I want to use as the final story, they both are essentially revolve around the relationship of college kids’ relationships from friends to lovers to found family and they’re all in an art club and have specialized methods and styles; graphite portraits/landscape, Abstract expressionism, animation, graphic design, Dada-esque sculpture and then there’s the one guy that can’t draw cause every art clubs always have that one member that only join to not do anything.

Plot option 1: Anne Certayn is a college kid who doesn’t know themself. They know what they’re good at— well good enough to graduate and make money, but there’s no passion in it. Anne were hoping to float through the rest of their school year so to avoid all invitations to join a club they join an art club, what they assumed to be a club they can just sleep though. Sadly, Anne new clubmates’s energy are too much for them.

Note about this plot:

Each character’s relationship with their art, e.g. Aster’s desire to be perfect and uphold his family’s legacy and all of it being reflect in his art. His art had always be something that lean heavily toward realistic in every way, dull color, proportion, reflecting how his passion and desire are tugged away for something more refined. Meanwhile his boyfriend, Carter is someone who contempt with his life and where he is, he have more abstract and colorful art reflecting how he’s putting his true self out for everyone to see, both perfect and imperfect.

Anne’s journey to find their passion for art again after a lifetime of being discouraged from being interested in art by people who told Anne to dial down any of their passion for things they don’t care for.

This is honestly a very slice of life, fluff, maybe comedy story that doesn’t have heavy lore. It just friends being pals

Plot option 2: A love story between members of a college art club.

The couples:

One of the leader (Carter) x his friend (Aster) since high school. They had been dating since first year of college but Aster had always held himself back because his family’s legacy. Their story is going to be revolving around Aster’s struggling to choose between Carter and his family because Carter’s family is not exactly on the same level as Aster’s family

Shezaraya x D no idea what will be their plot yet but D is an animator and concept art who occasionally fight with Anne because she doesn’t like how they joined without any sort of passion for art. She also sometimes fight with E who keeps riling her up by saying “digital art is not real art” without meaning it. Shezaraya is an graphic designer She’s more chill than D but she will still shit talk with her

Debating on giving E a lover(s) or not because she’s very much the agent of chaos. You ask about her love life and it would be like “oh yeah my ex almost framed me for fraud so I ended it” and if you ask her “isn’t your ex the barista down the street?” She’d go “oh not her, the other one— not the one that crashed my car because I broke up with him, the other other one”

Characters:

I have one character designed but I’m write as much as I have. Note that these are like— barely coherent concepts of the characters

Carter Wassily

- He’s the leader of the art club.

- His specialty is abstract art, specifically abstract expressionism.

- He major in marketing, minor in communications in his 3rd year.

- His design is inspired by abstract art in history; Constructivism and De Stijl

- He’s fun loving, enthusiastic about anything and everything he love. He does not afraid to put himself out there and be his truest self. He do have tendencies to get too invested in his art to the point he forgets all time and necessity he need.

- He’s dating Aster since first year of college but they know each other since high school

- He somehow didn’t know Aster is rich until last year of high school

Aster Richman (edited)

- He’s the vice president of the art club

- He’s majoring in law in his 3rd year.

- He specialized in Realism painting

- His name will be revolved around stars because I want it to come back to Carter’s tattoo

- He also have a red ring, matching Carter’s other tattoo since his family frown on tattoos

- He’s more serious than Carter. He try to be more stoic and calm though he do have his moments where Carter make him flustered or someone make him irritated. He pride himself on being good academically.

- His family is rich. Yes his name is a pun, I’m trying make all of their name a pun

- His designed was inspired by Victorian aesthetic but the palette came from realism period of art where the color is more dull then later he have an Isabella moment where his palette become lighter and less monochrome.

- He also wear glasses after his development because we really need the reverse “took off glasses and become beautiful” trope cause we had that in Cloudy with a chance of meatball and we need more of that

Shezaraya Sunshine

- She major in Music in second year.

- She specializes in Graphic Design with the style similar to Art Nouveau

- She’s dating/going to date D

- She’s the most passionate in her work after Carter

- She dream to make music and create her own album covers

- She’s similar to Carter but she’s a bit of a perfectionist when it come to her work. Other than that she’s one of the most chaotic person in the club

- She’s also very kind and optimistic

Anne Certayn

- They major in Engineer in first year.

- They have 0 artistic skill

- They lost their passion for things they like because when they was younger people tend to dismiss them or make them feel bad for being excited about things they enjoyed

- Weirdly they’re close with E the most

D

- She major in Communication in second year,

- She also have a few Communication classes with Carter

- She specializes in Animation with soft color and visual, reminiscing of Impressionism movement

- She’s passionate, a bit snarky, very spiteful to the people who deserve it

- She was raised to be more like Aster but she rejected that lifestyle

- Funny enough despite having the same world view of “anything can be art” as E they butt head a lot, mostly because E just like messing with her

- She absolutely hate Anne at first because how they joined the club but they bond after a while and she learn to tolerate them

E

- She major in Literature in third year

- She specializes in unconventional take on art, aka Dada. She mostly do mixed media and collage

- She is an agent of chaos. Little gremlin that just here to stir the plot and yet somehow she’s one of the chillest people in this club.

- She believes that anything can be art and that art have no rule but will absolutely throw that away for the sake of chaotic debate with D

- She have ex lovers….no one know how many but she have exes

[sansundertale14x1]

uhhhh vent so yeah

I see so many awesome writers on my feed- and I have nothing against them (if a mutual of mine who’s a writer happens to see this: you’re beautiful and awesome ;-; ❤️)

I admire their passion, honestly! The consistency- (whether bad or good) is still admirable.

it’s just that- I’m angry I couldn’t do the same. I write, I do, but I just remember being so much better a few years ago. I was consistent, every week posts, creative writing. I’m just so disappointed with myself.

I just can’t do that anymore. I have all day to write and do creative things, yet when I try I lose creative energy and motivation. I do draw- but even then I lose all energy to do anything anymore.

not just that- I’m scared. Very scared. I know if I don’t do anything with my creative abilities then I’ll lose them and all of my creativity. I always feel like I’m going to melt into a worthless piece of shit the moment I’m no longer considered a teenager.

I love what I do. I love the art community on Tumblr- I love the writing community. Just a huge group of people that are SO GOOD. And I just know I’ll never be like that.

everything just hurts now. And there’s no other way I can describe the feeling in my heart as it breaks every day and every second I think about my future. Whenever I try to think about what I’ll do- it just looks fuzzy. Like I’m not supposed to go on any further- like somewhere in the universe’s code it says that I was a mistake.

and even when I’m trying to get these feelings out- I feel guilty. Like just talking about how I feel in my heart makes me horrible. I’m just so scared and angry because my mind is making me think I’m a narcissist because I am this way. Because I was brought up fine.

my childhood was okay- I had barely any issues or anything. Sure- my father situation wasn’t ideal, but I don’t think it’s an excuse. It makes me feel spoiled. Like even after having a better childhood than other people my age- I have issues. Like…it feels like I shouldn’t feel this way. I was raised fine, so why aren’t I fine?!

it’s just so frustrating.

[chorusfm]

Sam Harris of X Ambassadors

Recently I was able to schedule a Zoom call with Sam Harris, the lead singer of X Ambassadors, to check in about the band’s latest single called “Alcohol.” I also asked Sam about his creative songwriting process for writing for X Ambassadors as well as stepping out into his recent solo work, and artists in the scene that he and his bandmates admire. X Ambassadors will be finalizing plans for their new album soon. So thank you so much for your time today, Sam! Let’s first talk about your great new single, called “Alcohol,” that features BRELAND. Can you walk me through both the writing and recording process of this song? Well, you know, originally, I wrote it with another artist in mind, just because I was looking for something that felt reckless and fun. And I love a good drinking song. I’m a big country music fan. And that’s just kind of where I it’s a it’s one of my many biases. And so I was working on this chorus, I happened to have a trip down in Nashville, and I got in the room with Dan and BRELAND. And we were just kind of, you know, shooting shit figuring out what to write that day. And I said, I have this idea. All I have is a lyric, which was just the, “Give me all your alcohol.” I started to laugh, and I am singing it for everybody. And everyone kind of got that look in their eyes like, “okay, well, this is cool!” We can roll with this! And I got to see BRELAND in action for the first time. And he’s so talented. And just really, really quickly between myself, him, and our great producer, Dan Fernandez, we had a 75% done version of the song at the end of that day. And I was thinking that maybe it would be for BRELAND or maybe a different artist would cut it. And it’s funny, the more I played it for people, they were like, are you guys gonna put this down? I think I’ll be honest with you, I think sometimes I have a hard time allowing myself to have fun. And this was me having fun. And, and so that’s probably why I had an initial hesitation… It can’t be serious all the time, right? I can’t be serious all the time. And it’s been really, really nice. And honestly, for me, I am such a huge country music fan. And to be able to not only put out a song with a country artist, who’s really up and coming is really cool. But to put out a country song, and have it on the country playlists, it’s really cool for me. I am from upstate New York., in central New York, and you’d hear as much country on the radio as you would hip-hop and, and there was barely any pop stuff, actually. Mostly, it was just like hip-hop and country that’s played in central-New York. I’m from Ithaca, New York, near Rochester, Binghamton, and Syracuse. And, yeah, that’s kind of how the song came to life. That’s really cool, and it has a country tinge to it. So I’m glad you’re kind of branching out, artistically, on that one, too. And the other thing was that your last few singles were collaborative efforts, as well, I believe. Is that an indication of your band wanting to try to get new styles into your sound? Or, was it a more organic process of talking with other artists you admire, or wanting to work with them to see if they’d like to join up to make collective art? So “Alcohol” is part of this project called (Eg), that we started in the pandemic. And it’s just an on-going thing that we have, where it’s a way for us to collaborate with artists and release the music without there being any sort of pressure attached to it in terms of myself and the band. Oftentimes we have found ourselves in situations where we are writing and producing for other artists, and we love to do that, for their projects, in addition to ours, or a collaborative effort. And everyone’s so wild that you find yourselves in a position, and I’ve been in this position too, where I made a really cool song, but I’m like, “No, it just doesn’t fit with this next EP that I want to put out, or the next album I want to put out.” Or it’s just so far left from where I want to try to bring things… https://chorus.fm/features/interviews/sam-harris-of-x-ambassadors-2/

[beat-my-head-in-while-laughing]

I’ve fallen back into my old ways and it is so bad. I thought I was okay with being by myself places but I can’t do it. I thought I was good with managing my emotions but I’m not. I just freaked out and I legitimately am sooooo lonely. 5 more days until they come home. It’s been hell being here alone. I can’t do anything. I haven’t showered or brushed my teeth. I haven’t gone outside. I haven’t done any art when all of it is piled up on the kitchen counter waiting for me. I just lay on the couch all day. I lay here and cry a lot. I’ve been crying on and off all day. I want to be better. I think to myself yeah that’d be great to start working out or better myself or do some art or listen to music. Instead I sit on the couch and feel horrible. I reach out to people and no one can help me. I just want someone to be here or come visit or anything. I have no one. The only two people who live near here are busy this weekend and I am alone from the 13-20th. This is extremely hard and difficult and I feel so bad bc I just snapped on Kit. Like I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m fucking everything up and I feel horrible. I smell disgusting right now and I just want to feel better this is horrible. I just want to do some resin art or paint but I look at it and just sigh and think “tomorrow I’ll do it”. I’ve been doing that for days now. I legitimately barely eat which is horrible. But I feel extremely bloated and fat. I feel like I’m getting fatter and disgusting. I look horrendous and so ugly and I hate myself and this is just a huge cycle. I’ve been here before and in a few days I’ll be completely fine and happy and say how I’ve gotten better and grown but I know that’s not true. I’m forcing myself to be okay. I’m forcing myself to try and stay positive and happy. I’m literally lying to everyone around me so they don’t worry about me anymore. They have worried for 28 fucking years and I just don’t wanna do it to them anymore. So I lie. I tell everyone I’m good and happy and doing extremely well. Even though I’m lying to everyone and trying to persuade myself to believe my lies. I want to be happy. Or honestly do I? Like what is even going on with me anymore. I ignore my therapy sessions. I take my meds apparently not as directed but I still take them. But like I feel like I’m trying but I guess I’m not. I’m self sabotaging and being amazing at it. I feel horrible bc I’m great at making other people feel like shit around me. I hate bringing other people down so that’s why I try to distract myself. That’s why I lie. That explosion I just texted Kit is a reason I know I will never get better fully. I never will grow and be better and feel better. I’m going to make sure I suffer my whole life and eventually bring everyone down with me. I don’t want to do that. I want to disappear and go somewhere. I was saying earlier that after I get my mri I want to go stay somewhere away from other people. But the reality is that me going somewhere else won’t help at all. It won’t help me being lonely or be comfortable by myself. I want Kit to come with me which is selfish. She needs a job and to work and be happy as well. I just don’t wanna deal with life anymore to be honest. It’s so fucking much. It’s too much. I just explode more often and have resentment for people that I wish I didn’t. I try to reach out like my therapist says to do. I talk to my sister for about 8 hours a day now. She’s the only one I talk to. But even then I feel like I’m a burden to her and bothering her. I’m bothering everyone. I’m just taking up space that someone else should have. I want kit to be happy and feel amazing and I know she feels that with me right now but down the line it’s gonna be horrible for her and I don’t wanna put her through that. I know how I get and she doesn’t and I’m scared I’m gonna fuck up her life forever. She wants to help me but what if I don’t even want to be helped anymore. Like I’m purposely not eating or drinking anymore to see if maybe I’ll whither away. I’m trying to intentionally lose weight and starve now. I’m just not doing well.

I just got told my paragraph was too long. I’m not doing well. I never was. I was forcing myself to try and believe it bc if someone says something enough they’ll eventually believe it right? That’s what I was always told. Tell yourself you’re pretty or smart. Then you’ll believe it. But I never did. That’s why I hate gratitudes and mindfulness. I know what I am. I know the monster I am and how I will never change and saying those things don’t change absolutely anything. Telling myself, lying to myself, does absolutely nothing. I’m not worthy, I’m not pretty, I’m not smart, I’m not happy, I never will be happy. I never will be happy. I don’t deserve to be happy. I deserve to just rot in the ground. I don’t want to be helped I just want to be let go. And of course I can’t say this to anyone bc they’ll lock me up or think I’m gonna kill myself. But I’m not physically doing that. I’m just not eating or making good decisions. I’m setting myself up for failure bc that’s all I am. That’s all I’ll ever be. This mri and neuro shit isn’t gonna fix anything. They’re gonna tell me again and again how it’s all in my head. How I’m fucked up and they can’t help me. When the neurologist says this who tf do I go to? My psychiatrist? Primary? None of them will help me either bc they refer me to everyone else. I’m not getting better and I never will. I never will get out of this mess in my head. I never will be able to move on or be a good stable person. I never will be able to be a great mother or wife or sister or daughter. I’ll never be any of that. I’ll always be a fuck up and nothing. I’m nothing. Never was and never will be. This is my life I need to just stop trying and get used to being a piece of shit forever. I should stop trying so hard to fix myself bc it will never happen. Ever. Idk what to do anymore. Fuck this shit and fuck me. I’m a piece of shit who deserves nothing and I’m disgusting and I shouldn’t be here or cared about or worried about. Fuck this.

[fantrollology-bios]

i see nothin wrong w the range life

Last Updated 4/6/2023

Back to Select Page

— intro —

Your name is LAUREN DEVOSS. Ever since you DITCHED THE FLEET with a bit of not-so-legal help you’ve been a bit wary about getting caught back up in it and FACING THE CONSEQUENCES. Of course, it’s not the first time you’ve quit something. Way back in the day you were a TEXTBOOK SUBJUGGULATOR, crackin’ skulls & breaking legs of any lowblood or mutant stupid enough to come into your field of view. But all of that SUCKS. You don’t really give a shit about genetic purity or suppressing the lower class or whatever- you’re mostly just out to have a good time. Of course, being a HIGHBLOOD like yourself comes with a lot of perks. Natural strength, some psychic abilities, and a long lifespan to spend SCREWING AROUND. And that’s really what you’ve been up to. Wherever your LINGUISTIC PROWESS or PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES can take you, you’ll go. Whatever work, whatever place. Oh, yeah, and you have a great FLEET-PROVIDED COCHLEAR IMPLANT you can’t remove. Let’s hope the signal jammer in there keeps you under the radar.

— basics —

Name:  Lauren DeVoss Pronouns: He/him

Orientation: Bisexual

Age: 867 sweeps

Height: ~7'2"”

Location: Shit studio apt on some random planet

Occupation: Freelance merc / Shipment manager

 — alternia —

Caste: Officially purple, blue cusp #2c1197

Lusus: Woolly Mammoth

Weapon of Choice: Brass knuckles / handgun, sword breaker (formerly).

Abilities: Visual Mind Reading & Thought Casting - can see the thoughts of others visually & edit them. Additionally manifests as him seeing spoken words as a result of his deafness.

— personality —

Sign: ♉ Taurus

Likes: Good banter, good drinks, lexiography, competitive betting (horse racing & the like), travel, sightseeing, non-artistic museums, cultural foods, fighting, trivia, poetry

Dislikes:  Moral righteousness, being told what to do without good reason, deconstructed food, art, the fleet, pretentious people, analytical comorantary

— plot —

Current Status: Dicking around on various planets

Goals: To explore the universe & have fun doing it

Open Hooks:

    ●   Can be former fleet associates or could meet your character while doing a shipment mission

Past plotlines:     ●   Leaving for the fleet - #Backwhen: Part 1

    ●   Faking his death to escape the fleet - Comics [1, 2]

— relationships —

Romantic:

    ♥   Matesprit Name - #None - [N/A]

    ♦   Moirail Name - #None - [N/A]

    ♠   Kismesis Name - #None - [Plotting]

Platonic:     ●   Palaia Bezold - #No Tag (Yet) - Your former mentor. She saved you from culling for reasons you don’t think you’ll ever understand. When you left, you thought she would try to kill you. She let you go with barely a word.

    ●   Ceefor Topolm - #No Tag (Yet) - Your ex-matesprit from back when you lived on Alternia. You left without saying goodbye and haven’t spoken since. Something about her stays in your head, but it’s not guilt or r egret. It’s something else.     ●   The Banisher - #No Tag (Yet) - One of your former fleet supervisors. Working under her was your first position in the fleet. It was her recommendations that jumpstarted your ‘successful’ career in the fleet. Haven’t talked much since you were promoted out of her section. You don’t even know if she knows you’re dead. Or, well, not dead.     ●   Styx - #Sticks and Stones - You paid this guy to help you fake your death to get out of the fleet. The entire time he just itched you. After ditching the safe post he put you in, the two of you got back in touch. You see him every so often. Maybe someday he’ll learn to take it easy, and maybe someday you’ll get over yourself and stop talking to him.

— links —

Playlist ● Character Tag ● Art

Interest Tag ● Asks

[flailing-feathers]

I got a stream to do this afternoon so fuckit I’m letting out my negativity demons here now ‘cause they’ve been weighing me down.

Been feeling like shit every time I’ve poked social media lately, idk if it’s because it’s December or what but I’m back in another one of my ‘I’m a loser who can’t make rent with the one thing I’m any good at’ modes. Yeah the economy’s in the shitter but I am thirty four years old, have an art degree from a decade ago, and spent most of last year redoing my portfolio after I quit my day job over their handling of the pandemic (and only because I had a bunch of money saved up to give myself time to restart my art career doing remote work). Spoiler alert, that wasn’t nearly enough. I opened commissions in August 2021. I started job hunting in January 2022. It is now December 2022, and I’ve made less than 3k all year, no job, the feds paying for my food since March and my bf paying my rent since September (we don’t live together, he’s just helping me).

I’m too damned old to suck this hard. I can’t come up with cool ideas people would want to buy, I’m an unhireable schmuck that doesn’t have 3+ years industry experience in anything, and as much as I know part of it is that the market is objectively worse, I still feel like the biggest loser for taking more than twice as long to find work as I did when I graduated college. I’m so much more skilled now but I still don’t know how to make money. There seems to be no light at the end of this tunnel where I can actually make progress in my life.

Maybe it’s cultural programming but I hate having to be propped up financially (though I am equally in favor of UBI, and wish that was even remotely possible in the US). I hate being useless. I hate knowing that I’m intelligent and skilled but not the right kind of intelligent and skilled to not be living in a shitty little cold-ass apartment that I now can’t even pay for by myself. Art is the only thing I’m any good at, and yeah this is privilege talking but I can’t go back to regular dayjobs because nobody around here has trustworthy policies for protecting their minimum wage peons from health risks. I was uninsured even when I had a job.

Back to the whole social media thing - I’ve been a lot less active lately, not because of anything going on with platforms or the AI debacle or any other large scale dramas, it’s just that I look at it, and it makes me feel bad that I’m not posting new art or have cool promos or merch and there’s no demand for my work whatsoever. I’m still the kind of awful little shit that when I see other people posting comms, even though they’re probably just barely scraping by, too (and likely undercharging), I feel like a loser ‘cause I have barely gotten any comms and can’t even come up with merch ideas. I haven’t done anything for Studio 252MYA in ages while other artists are pumping out banger after banger. It’s great for them, of course, they deserve any boost they can get. I guess it just hits me right in the Impostor Syndrome. I don’t feel like I belong there, I’m not one of those paleoartists that are actually cool.

In the fanart world, I have an even stupider problem - I only hyperfixate on one thing at a time, and I’ve drifted away from Star Trek and back to Pokemon. I don’t stop liking a thing if it stops being my fixation, but it is a lot harder to want to choose to work on stuff relating to it over other things. My fixations tend to last around a year, no more than two. It’s fun while it lasts, but objectively ST64 is going to be much slower going now and other things are going to be chosen to be worked on instead more often than not. But there’s a little voice in the back of my head that most of the people who followed my fanart Twitter were in it for the Star Trek and I’m going to disappoint them by having less and less of it.

Lately I haven’t been doing anything for social media at all. Just making stuff for my bf and futzing about with my Neocities. I love how small and focused that community is. No room for expectations and disappointment and feeling like shit, just fucking around with silly ideas and exploring other people’s. A happy little island getaway where I can scratch a creative itch with no stakes.

[icarianstars]

Thanks for the tag @okaythisisbecomingaproblem <3

Are you named after anybody: yeah, I semi- named myself after Raine Whispers (from TOH) and Regulus Black (my initials are RAB). Also my deadname was my great-grandmother's names mashed together, so that too

When was the last time you cried: uhh last week I think? I can’t actually remember

Do you have kids: absolutely not. I'm barely an adult myself and I really don't want them

Do you use sarcasm a lot: quite a bit, but I'm autistic so I'm also shit at know when other people are doing it

What sports do you/have you played: uhh I swim occasionally? That's about as much sport as I've ever done without being forced by a teacher

What's the first thing you notice about other people: uhhh outfit maybe? I really don't know

What's your eye colour: blue

Scary movies or happy endings: definitely happy endings, I hate scary movies

Any special talents: I make a pretty good cup of tea?

Where were you born: england

What are your hobbies: drawing, writing fanfic, reading (mostly fanfic), acting, cosplay, making up ocs that I never do anything with

Do you have any pets: yeah, I have a dog, two rats, and my dad has a cat

How tall are you: 5'7 I think

Favourite subject in school: definitely art

Dream job: I honestly don’t know, but definitely either something creative or something with animals

Tagging (only if you want to): @definitelynotttheo @finemorningofremusing @fefifofae @callmejud3

tagged by @aoarcturus

are you named after anybody? no i’m not

when was the last time you cried? wednesday :) i had to write a cv. stuff like that isn’t my strong suit, the anxiety really kicks in

do you have kids? no and i’m not planning to

do you use sarcasm a lot? maybe? i don’t really know how often it is. might use more in person than online

what sports do you/have you played? so i did actually do ballet briefly while i was younger. now i like roller skating :) i’ve been skating on inlines since i was 9 and started quads in lockdown. usually i just skate near my house listening to music but i’ve also been to the skate park a few times. ice skating is also cool but i don’t have a local rink so i rarely go

what is the first thing you notice about other people? i’m not really sure probably their appearance? maybe faces?

what’s your eye colour? brown

scary movies or happy endings? happy endings. scary movies are too scary

any special talents? no? idk? if someone asked me to demonstrate a special talent i genuinely wouldn’t know what to do (but my wife said “well that’s not true ur silly” when i told her this)

where were you born? germany :)

what are your hobbies? drawing, reading (fics), writing, crocheting, rollerskating, listening to music, video games sometimes

do you have any pets? not currently

how tall are you? 157cm / 5’2

favourite subject in school? maths (pretty much always has been)

dream job? i don’t really know. there’s not a job that really entices me it’s just something i’ve accepted i’m gonna have to do. i could consider something art-related but i feel like having that as my sole/main job would stop making me enjoy it and make it feel like too much of a chore. so not dream job, but i’ll probably go into software development maybe game development ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

no pressure tags :) @murderoushagthesequel @idkkkjustgay @moonriverrise @mo0n-water @malakiwis

[geowrites03]

Smile pt.2

Damian Wayne x Joker’s daughter!reader

Summary: After y/n tries to get rid of her father Tim finds out about her and tells Damian that what he knows is true. He loves her. But he’s still so unsure to admit yet.

-Also I thought I should mention that Damian is aged up (18)(i was supposed to mention this in the first part but i forgot)(but is still not good for showing or expressing his emotions for plot/storyline) and all the other batboys are their normal ages.-

Part 1 Part 3

Spotify Playlist

The old rusted pipe felt strange in hands. It was cutting and digging into my palms as I swung and hit my target on the ground. I’ve been waiting so long for this. Sweet revenge is finally mine.

“Is that all you got you little bitch!?” He was screaming at me while laughing, but it all fell upon deaf ears. I swung and hit him in the mouth and laughed at the sight of him spitting up blood and two teeth. “You’re not so different from me, you know? Laughing in the face of chaos and other peoples pain, you’re daddy’s little girl.”

I was so fucking tired of him and his little comments. I was done taking his shit. I hit him on the temple causing him to fall face down. After a few more mindless and careless blows I dropped the pipe and left the warehouse.

When I arrived home I collapsed on my bed and hugged my pillow. Was he right? Am I just like him? Surely I’m not, or am I just hoping? Either way I’m still hanging by thread. Would Damian find out somehow?

The last question kept circling around in my mind, then eventually lead to more; Would he still be my friend if he found out? Would I even be able look him in the eyes without him figuring out how bad of a person I am? Would he even want to be in the same room as me? Would he even want to be in the same school as me? Same school as a psycho?

I didn’t get any sleep last night my brain was way too preoccupied with questions, questions that made me want to give up. I couldn’t give up now, not after my big accomplishment. But I want to. I feel like I need to, for Damian’s sake. It would be better for him if he wasn’t unknowingly friends with an attempted murderer.

Damian’s POV~

Last night was interesting to say the least. While on patrol we came across the Joker’s almost dead body in an abandoned warehouse. It wasn’t even noticeable that he was alive he was face down on the ground and beaten, he barely had a pulse. There was an old pipe next to him, blood on the end clearly the end he was beaten with, but also blood where someone must have been holding it.

I’m not worrying about him though, I’m worrying about y/n. What if the person that tried to kill her father tries to kill her? What was going to happen to her now that her father’s back in Arkham? Her mother was already back in Belle Reve as of two days ago, sure she’s old enough to look after herself, she is 18 and in her last year of high school after all, but she doesn’t like to be alone, even if it is with people that hurt her. She just can’t bare it. What was she gonna do?

~

When I arrived at school y/n seemed distant. She wasn’t talking to me or her other friends, she wasn’t even answering questions in class like she usually does. It was around lunch when I tried to talk to her in the library but she kept brushing me off. So I tried again in art class.

“Hey, are you okay? You seem upset and you haven’t talked to all day.” She also hasn’t smiled, I miss that bright smile, I need to get it back.

“Yeah I’m fine.” I could tell she wasn’t. She kept her frown on her face and went back to sketching. That’s when I saw what she was sketching, an old, rusting pipe with blood on it, blood on the end, and blood where it was held.

Horror based art wasn’t out of the norm for her, but this was too familiar. I tried to look at her hands to see if they had cuts or scrapes but I couldn’t get a clear view.

I went onto work on some of my own art occasionally trying to look at her hands. There was one point where she put her pencil down to crack her knuckles and I saw a slight cut on her palm, but I could just be seeing things because I’m paranoid.

~

When I got home I went right down to the batcave and tried to look for the pipe so I could possibly run some of the blood through the system to see if it matches hers. I don’t really know why I care this much I would love her either way, but I just want to see if she was pushed far enough by father to do something like this.

“Looking for this?” I turned around to see Tim with the evidence bag that contains the pipe. “Why have you been so obsessed with the Joker’s daughter and everything that might concern her recently?”

“TT- It’s none of your damn business, Drake.” He raised his eyebrow at me and had a look of concern on his face. I tried to reach for the bag but he retracted his arm then held it above our heads he’s just a bit taller than me so I can’t reach. “Just give it to me!”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.” His voice was low and serious. I have no idea why he wanted to know so bad. Does he think that I can’t have a situation on my own. He doesn’t need to get involved. “I just want to make sure you’re okay and safe.”

“I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Just give me the pipe.” He looked hesitant. He should know that I’m able to do things on my own. Especially find out if my friend has done a crime or not.

“I’m not going to give it to you until you tell me what’s going on.” I only looked away and didn’t say anything, trying to think if I should tell him or not. “If you don’t tell me I’ll tell Bruce about it, then he’ll get it out of you.”

“Fine.” I explained to him the situation from the start. How I found out y/n was the Joke’s daughter. How she was being abused. And how I believe that she tried to kill her father.

“Why didn’t you tell us this when you found out?” He handed the pipe over to me.

“I didn’t know how you would react.” I looked to the ground.

“Why do you care about her so much?” I shrugged and tightened my grip on the pipe, I already knew his next question, I was just praying he wouldn’t ask it, “How do you feel about her? Do you genuinely like her?”

“She’s just a friend, Drake.” He looked skeptical and sat down on a chair near me while i kept my eyes averted.

“Are you sure? Friends don’t care this much.” I looked over to him in disbelief.

“Friends do care!” My eyes were started to water due to all my current mixed emotions, I’m just so confused.

“I never said they didn’t, I just said not this much.” He must’ve seen my eyes because he got up and put his hand on my shoulder. I gave him a confused look. “Just a friend wouldn’t have gone this far with it, you did research, you kept an eye on her, you want to protect her and keep her safe.”

“But-”

“No buts, I can tell how devoted you are to her and keeping her safe, you love her.” He was starting to crack through my shell just like Dick had previously, but I don’t want to let anybody else in.

“You know nothing. You can’t ‘tell’ anything about me.” I shoved his hand off of my shoulder and left to the other room.

~

Do I love her? The question was floating in my head while testing the blood on the side of the pipe that was held. It did come back with her DNA, but why did I want to know so bad? It’s not like I’d stop being friends with her. I guess it’s just because I want to help her, even though I don’t know how.

Whilst on patrol I worried about her but I tried not to think about it too much and focus. The more I tried to not think of her, the more I did think of her. Her gorgeous h/l h/c hair and her beautiful e/c eyes.

“Robin,” Father called through the comms “we need help and the abandoned warehouse, get here now!”

“I’m on my way!” I picked my pace and started running. He said ‘we’ so I’m guessing Dick or Tim is already there so hopefully there won’t be too much trouble.

“Where are you?” I ran through the door of the warehouse and went to look for father.

“I’m upstairs but Nightwing should be down on ground level somewhere. But watch out there’s a group of villains down there too.”

I peeked my head around a corner be careful incase there were any villains. Thankfully it was only Dick.

“Be careful, so far we only know that Bane and Poison Ivy are here but there’s most likely more.” I nodded and joined his side. As we were about to leave the room to locate Bane and Ivy a voice I know all too well spoke up from the corner.

“Oh there’s most definitely more.” It was y/n Dick got in a defensive stance obviously waiting for her to attack, she just scoffed, “Not me dummy, I’m on your side for tonight.”

“Says who?”

“Says me, leave the twerp alone.” Jason came through a door from outside.

“Seriously Red?! Do you even know who she is? The Joker’s daughter, do you not remember what he did to you?!” I decided to stay silent and out of it and by the looks of it so is y/n.

“So, it’s not like she’s an exact copy of her father, plus her father has put her through hell and back, she just reminds me of…” He paused for a few seconds. “Me. She reminds me of me.”

“Is it because of the fact that he beat both of us nearly to death with a crowbar?” I snickered at Jason’s reaction on his face, trying to hold my laughter in and so was she. Dick and Jason just stood there in shock.

“Or that he branded us with a J on our left cheeks?” Wait she doesn’t have a J on her cheek, and Dick obviously took notice of that too.

“But you don’t have a J burned onto your cheek. Are you just messing with Jason now?”

“Nope. I cover it.”

“With what?” He was starting to annoy her now and I could tell by the look on her face that she was about to make a snarky comment to get him to shut up.

“Your mom’s ashes!” There it was, the silencer, well it would be silent if Jason and I didn’t burst out laughing and Dick was silent with a shocked face once again.

“Catwoman and I have found out what they’re trying to find.” Bruce had walked in causing me and Jason to stop laughing. “We have to stop them from getting it.”

“Well, what is it? Or are we just supposed to guess and pray to god that they don’t get they’re grubby little hands on it?” I had to try an suppress my laughter as father was also shocked now.

“It’s an ancient knife that came from an Exoplanet called Akina B, it’s got a violet handle encrusted with amethysts and a green obsidian blade. It’s worth millions of dollars and Bane and Poison Ivy are retrieving it for Black Mask.”

“What the fuck would Black Mask want with a space knife?” Jason asked out loud.

“Because in the hands of the chosen one it can give them ultimate power and can destroy Earth. Once he gets the knife he plans on letting it lead him to the chosen one so he can kidnap and manipulate them so he can be the one that actually controls the knife’s powers.”

“Well that’s fun-” Her sarcastic tone got cut off by the door being kicked in and flying off its hinges.

“You’re not wrong y/n, but joining us and helping us beat up Batman and all his little sidekicks would be funner.” Ivy had a vine coming at full towards y/n but she quickly cut it with her sword and ducked out of the way of another vine.

A whole bunch of goons coming into the room caught our attention as we started to fight them.

Y/n’s POV~

As I ducked to avoid another one of Ivy’s vines some random goons, most likely men that Black Mask hired just for this job. They all started to fight while I was still trying to block vines from Ivy. As I cut another one off something glowing green and purple caught my eye from outside of the room. She also took sight of it and darted for it.

Poison Ivy’s fast I’ll admit, but I’m faster. After Nightwing, Robin, Red hood and Batman take out some of the goons they follow. I took knife from its holding stand and with my powers I made a few replicas and turned the one in my hand invisible so only I could see it.

After that there was a bit of confusion from everyone else apart from Catwoman, but the fights all went on.

~

“You did good kid, I’ll let ya know next time I need help on a mission.” It was kind of unexpected coming from Red Hood, especially because he usually only works alone of with the Bats.

“Woah, did you just say ‘next time I need help’!? Since when do you either NEED or EXCEPT help!?”

They were both on their way home pretty soon and Batman also had to leave to do some ‘important stuff’ that I wasn’t really listening to, he also took the knife to keep safe.

“I can tell that you two need to talk to each other, with the masks off, and clear some air between the two of you.” After saying that she was quick to run away, leaving us alone on a deserted street on the outskirts of Gotham.

“Damian.” That’s all I said, it’s all I needed to because all I wanted him to know was that I knew who he was.

“Y/n.” He reached to take off my domino mask so I reached to take off his.

We both took each other’s off at the same time. I handed him, his and he handed me, mine. Neither of us looked away from each other’s eyes.

“I love you Damian.” I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I love you too y/n.” He closed the tiniest little gap left between us and wrapped his arms around my waist. “But are you sure?”

“Yes I am sure.” I paused and studied his but as usual he’s unreadable. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t know.” He unwrapped his arms from my waist and puts his mask back on before starting on his way back home.

He knows I hate being alone. He fucking knows it. But he still left me here. All alone.

[lovely-echoo]

Sleepy Bois Inc x FranBow!Reader

In-game AU

Part 2/? PT.1

Plantonic!SBI x Young!Reader

(10/11 years old)

Headcanons

Genderneutral reader (they/them) 💜

INFO; If you haven't played or seen game play of Fran Bow then you can skip this if you'd like. If you don't care then go ahead.

Summary; Basically if you've seen/played the game you should know how this goes, you take place of Fran. So you go/went through the same things she did and you still have Mr. Midnight. This takes place while Fran is still in the mental hospital and then got teleported near the SBI.

If I get any info wrong, I'm sorry! I rewatched Markiplier's game play so it shouldn't be way off.

P.s not everything is described the same.

(^ art by sunquids on twt)

CW/TW: mentions/includes of cussing, food/not eating properly, screaming, murder, death threats(?)

First Impressions

Philza

Was terrified honestly-

Thought you were dead at first

Mans was just walking around with his son when he heard a thud

Was 1000% not expecting a kid and a cat

Even worse when he tried to get closer the cat got defensive and swatted it’s claws at him

And when you woke up-

Oh boy-

You barely acknowledged him and picked up the cat

Which btw, the damn cat changed so quickly- it perked up and was all happy and shit

The sudden anger to happiness gave him whiplash the poor guy

Then when you started crying which that scared him to

But either way he wanted to help you

Blame the father instincts ig-

He saw the way you looked thinner and not in the way as in ‘I was born with a fast metabolism/naturally like that’ but in the way of ‘I haven’t gotten proper food in a while’

(Btw if you are a plus-sized reader, the same goes for you. I don’t want to specify anything, especially body types. But he could tell you haven’t eaten actual food :) bc we all know that asylum food is shit)

He also saw the way you lowkey gaped at his wings but shh-

^ Lowkey feels prideful about it but you didn't hear it from me-

He really tried to approach you as calmly as possible to not scare you

Can I also mention that when he saw how dull your eyes were he felt his heart shatter

He also physically winced when he heard you speak for the first time

Honestly got lost in thought with a bunch of concerns, worries and shit

Final Thoughts;

Thinks you're absolutely adorable

Wants to punt whoever left you here

Lowkey scared of your cat

Technoblade

At first did not care

Like at all

Also thought you were dead at first

Still didn’t care

But the more he examined you when you first met

There’s something about you that kinda…

Clicked?

Idk

But yeah

Was ticked off when you talked back but also impressed

Like he’s Technoblade, The Blood God.

Usually whenever he makes eye contact with people- especially kids

They cower, scream, panic and ect.

But you didn’t waver

But either way, he’s still very skeptical.

Will absolutely stay on guard with you around

Unless you don’t give him reason to

If the some of the voices are right

He will dropkick murder you

So just keep quiet about it for now, okay?

He actually kinda finds you interesting

He doesn’t know why, he just does

Maybe it’s your mannerisms but eh

Just watch yourself around him

He’s so stiff and stern around you to the point that you think you won’t wake up the next morning

Final Thoughts;

Still really iffy about you

Get's the most ill vibe from you

Wants the voices to stfu about how 'cute' you were

TommyInnit

Ima be completely honest with you-

He screamed.

Like as soon as he made eye contact with your bloodshot eyes

He just full on screamed

You don’t know what you did to scare the poor teen

But I guess you’ll never know

And ima be honest with you again

He doesn’t either.

Maybe it was the way your eyes bore into his when he first saw you

Lowkey thought you were half dead or a zombie or some shit

You just looked so…

Dead…?

You kinda looked like a doll to him

He’s not a fan of dolls

Will he apologize for screaming the first time ya’ll met?

Because that is lowkey rude to do-

Yes but actually no-

He feels bad but he’s got to much of a stick up his ass to apologize directly

But he’ll make it up to you one day

I hope-

But other than that

He’s happy to not be the youngest one around tho

Final Thoughts;

Still thinks you look like a creepy doll

Gets this vibe from you but can’t put his finger on it

Lowkey wants to take you out on an adventure and maybe introduce you to Tubbo

Wilbur;

He was actually in his room chilling

Practising his guitar for a new song he wrote

He was vibing

Then he heard a scream

Thought a cat or smt was being murdered

So he rushed downstairs expecting a dead animal or shit

Turns out it was just his younger brother

Was gonna scold him but he saw you and your cat

That btw, you were holding him in such a cute way and looked at him with these doe eyes

Mentally, emotionally and physically awed

Your farming his aw’s hold on a sec-

He’s in love omg-

Please he’s already thinking about doing sibling shit with you

He knows his dad will adopt you even if he said ‘They're staying here for a while before they go back home.'

Wil knows that’s a lie and you’ll be staying here for a lot longer

With your consent ofc

Either way finds you adorable, smol and just

You’re baby

To him, you’re baby

Final Thoughts;

You're baby

Wonders if you like music

But also gets a weird vibe from you

Bonus;

The Voices

Oh boy-

So many different opinions

Some want you dead

Some want to hug you

Some want your cat

Some hate your cat

It’s all a mess

But let’s focus on the positive ones-

A lot of them are still chanting ‘protecc tiny bean’

Some are talking about you, others the cat

‘protecc tiny beans’

Is now what they decided to chant

They love you bby dw

Even the harsher ones, they love you

They just don’t show it

For the ones who really want you dead and shit

They’ll warm up

At least I hope so

But they don’t get the chance to say more mean shit like wanting you dead

Because those voices are getting attacked by your fans

Yes, your fans

They’ve nominated themselves as your fans

Yes, they do fight for who’s the number one fan

Final Thoughts;

If Philza likes you then they do (for the most part-)

Protecc tiny beans?

Protecc tiny beans.

Feel free to submit suggestions for this series! Could just be headcanons, reactions to ___, or anything!

Taglist;

@killermich-blog | @cl0udy-grey | @roxy3457 @itsberrydreemurstuff | @shuriosansshitposts @frowningsmiles | @muchrooomm | @novelist2 | @xx-smiley-xx

Lmk if you want to be added!

[be-gay-do-heists]

hardison/parker || masc day for parker, potentially while on date with hardison

i think it ended up a little more the dysphoria route with this one but i hope this at least touches on what u were looking for!! had a spark of an idea and had to write it :V

---

If it was just the dress, maybe Parker could stand it.

Hardison had won choosing date night this time around, and he had suggested a new restaurant that recently opened up on the other side of town. A nicer restaurant. Which meant fancier clothes and Hardison had said the dress code recommended dresses so. The dress. It had been fine, leaving the brewpub in it to go meet Hardison at the restaurant. It was comfy enough, the fabric had a nice texture, and it was the same kind of green that you could see if you looked sideways at a professionally cut emerald, which was one of their favorite colors.

It was only upon arriving at the restaurant that they realized they really, really, really did not want to be wearing it.

And if it was just the dress, maybe it would be fine. But they were out in public, and Parker had come to understand over the years that if people in public thought they had your gender clocked, you had to act, walk, and talk a certain way if you didn’t want weird stares, unwelcome attention. A performance that they didn’t particularly have the energy for if there wasn’t a con and the promise of a payout at the end of it. The first “miss” they got from the hostess made them twitch, but they made sure to keep their mask up as they saw Hardison, already at the table, who smiled sunnily as they approached and stood to help with their chair. He was wearing his purple suit, the deep plum colored one that reminded them of a bottle full of red wine.

“Wow. You look amazing, I can’t believe you’ve been hiding that dress for so long,” he said as they both sat down. “It’s not one of Sophie’s?” There was a trace of playfulness in his voice.

“No, it’s mine, I didn’t steal it,” Parker replied, latching onto his good mood for stability. They fidgeted, hyperaware of their bare shoulders and the cut of the dress around their torso. “Well, not from her anyways.”

Hardison snorted in that fond way of his. “Hey, it’s not stealing if it looks that good on you. That’s just proper re-appropriation. Anyways, you’re gonna love this place, the whole idea is normal fancy food, boring boring et cetera, but! They change the colors around so it messes with your senses and makes you experience it differently, you get me? I’m talking like green steaks, purple mashed potatoes. Cool, right?”

“Yeah, sounds great,” Parker agreed absently, discreetly hunching a little and hoping Hardison wouldn’t notice. They fiddled with the utensils on the table, which had little chameleons etched on them. That was fun. This was supposed to be fun, they reminded themselves.

“Hey, you ok?” Hardison asked, brows furrowed.

A waiter came up before he could say more. “Welcome, folks, pleasure to have you with us this evening. Can I start you with drinks?” After Hardison, concern still showing in his face ordered a fruity-sounding cocktail, the waiter turned to Parker. “And for the lady?”

They couldn’t help their flinch, knowing that Hardison saw it, and pulled out their most flawless grifting voice to respond. They deflated a little again once the waiter left.

“Shit. I shouldn’t have said dress. I should have specified that you could have worn anything you wanted, who even cares about restaurant dress codes,” the hacker said, rubbing his hands over his face. Parker had to give it to him, sometimes his brain worked faster than his computers, and he was always twice as perceptive. “Is it a they night? A he night?”

Parker shrugged a little apologetically. “I’m not sure. It’s just really, really not a she night.”

“I’m really sorry Parker, I should have checked in before we came,” Hardison sighed, and having him in the loop did actually make Parker feel a little better. “Do you wanna get out of here? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable for any longer than you have to.”

Parker immediately felt bad again. “No, you won date night, you were so excited about this place.”

“Man, don’t even sweat it,” Hardison reassured them, waving a hand. “We can come back some other time when we’re actually feeling it. Or if it’s never the date vibes, I can ask Sophie if she wants to try it sometime. You know she gets a kick out of dressing up and I’m sure she would call this place ‘an exercise in creative expression and reaction’ or something.” He smiled at Parker’s bark of laughter following his terrible impression of Sophie, which made a couple other patrons startle in their seats.

“I don’t really want to be in this dress anymore,” Parker admitted. “Maybe we could go back to the brewpub and do something there?”

“Hey, if I ever refuse a quiet night in, know that I’ve been replaced with a clone or maybe a mind-eating fungus,” Hardison beamed at them, and flagged down the waiter to pay for their drinks with a tip that made the man’s jaw drop, letting Parker lead the way out.

On the ride home, Hardison gave Parker his suit jacket, pretending he was too hot even though it was damp and cold out. It was far too big for the thief and they thought it was kind of ridiculous how it came down to almost their knees, but the broad shoulders on it made them feel good. And the wine color purple was fantastic, even though they thought it looked far better on Hardison. They said as much, and took a silent satisfaction in the way Hardison ducked his chin to hide his face.

Entering back into the safety of the brewpub and the upstairs apartment took a weight off Parker, and they sighed, kicking off their shoes and slipping off Hardison’s jacket to cast onto the back of the couch. Hardison picked up to carefully keep it from creasing with a “heaven help me” kind of look. “You got everything you wanna wear here? Need anything of mine?”

“Mostly, but…” Parker thought aloud. “Could I borrow one of your shirts? The soft ones?”

Hardison nodded fondly. “Sure thing, lemme grab one.” While he was in the bedroom, Parker stripped off their dress like it was burning them, shaking the feeling of it away once it was off. They spotted their good jeans on the chair by the hallway that Hardison liked to call “Parker’s wardrobe,” where all the clothes they had left while over lived, and rushed to put them on. They were comfy and boxy and had a button-up fly. More buttons felt good.

“Incoming,” Hardison’s voice called, and he entered with his eyes covered, tossing a shirt in their direction. Parker jumped to catch it, and quietly approved of his selection, a wooly flannel type. They wiggled it on, tucking it in slightly, and exhaled in relief on how delightfully big it was, draping off the prominent muscles in their shoulders, leaving enough room on their torso so that the fabric wouldn’t cling to them. They rolled up the sleeves to expose their strong forearms, looked down at their broad hands. Yeah, this was much better, they thought, tying up their hair high.

“I’ve still got those canvases from last time, and the same paints, if you wanna do that. Ooh, I just got some good charcoal too if you’d rather sketch,” Hardison was saying, sifting through his art supplies. Parker bounded over and pressed up against his side. He jumped slightly but turned to look at them. “Feeling better?”

“Lots,” Parker hummed.

The hacker took in their outfit change. “And looking damn handsome too. Real suave, James Dean kinda look.” When Parker wryly grinned and crossed their arms, squaring their shoulders and standing tall, he mimed a swoon (Parker could see the slight, genuine flush that rose to his face). “So what do you wanna do tonight?”

“Dunno, it’s still your date night,” Parker replied, putting a little more husk in their voice and enjoying the way they could see Hardison’s thoughts stutter slightly.

He recovered quickly. “Well, all I want is a nice night in with my fella, whatever we do is gonna be more than alright with me.”

Parker felt another glow of joy at the endearment, and moved to wrap their arms tightly around him, one hand coming up to grip the back of the hacker’s neck. “Thanks Hardison. I really mean it.”

Hardison softened a little against their firm embrace. “Of course, I never want you to be uncomfortable. I love you.”

“I know,” Parker responded, and smiled mischievously into Hardison’s shoulder as he sputtered.

“Oh no you did not—“

[arvinsescape]

Too busy.

A/N: I am so sorry this took a while to get out, but here it is! I hope you all enjoy, it is based off a request that @tomhollandlol sent me and I hope you also enjoy and thanks again for your patience. I did change a couple of things but stuck to the basic concept, I hope you don’t mind 💕

Request: Angst one shot, they have 2 kids together, different scenarios, he never pays attention and does something else and is always too busy.

Warnings: Bit of swearing, mentions of sex.

W/C: 4.2K

This last six months had been the hardest she’d ever had to go through, in her entire six years of marriage to Tom, this had been the hardest. Having two kids on top of that didn’t make it any easier, she felt alone, more alone than she had in her life, she was bringing up two children, seemingly on her own. Their eldest was almost four and their youngest was nine months old and teething, which meant she cried a lot.

Tom had been there for most of their journey, he shared the work load and it made life easier but this last six months haven’t ben the case. He became busier, he had two projects going at once and whilst she would happily make allowances for his career it was becoming too much for her. She hated the assumption that things should be easy because she was a stay-at-home mum but that was far from the truth. The children were so young that they needed her constant and undivided attention.

She was struggling to give two children her undivided attention and recently she’s become run down, completely running of fumes. She lives her life in a constant state of tired, she barely does a thing for herself, hell even a shower seemed like a hard task half of the time and Tom? Well half of the time she wasn’t a hundred per cent sure exactly what it was he was doing. She wondered how he hadn’t noticed, how he hadn’t seen the tiredness she constantly displayed.

Half of the mums at school had noticed, she saw it in their looks of pity when she arrived with her son, looking run down and disheveled because she couldn’t make herself look presentable. She didn’t have the time because either her baby would need something or her four-year-old which left no time for herself in a morning.

“Tom?” She shouted as she bounced Ava on her hip.

“Yeah?” He shouted back from where ever he was in the house.

“Can I get your help please?”

“Y/N, I’m busy.”

“You’re always busy.” She muttered to herself as she gave up and tried to soothe Ava on her own whilst making Noah’s lunch.

**

“Tom, I’ve just cleaned there.” She spoke, almost in disbelief as she watched her husband place his golf clubs in the middle of the hall.

“I’ll move them in a bit.” He shrugged. “I need to read over some stuff.” He said as he wandered down the hall and into his office. She couldn’t help herself as she flipped him off on his way, thankful he couldn’t see.

**

“Tom? Is there any chance you can take Noah to school tomorrow? I need to take Ava to an appointment and I don’t wanna be late again.”

“I can’t darling, I’m busy.” He answered, eyes on his laptop.

“Tom, please? I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” She tried and Tom looked up at her.

“Y/N/N, I am really busy right now. Just take Noah into school earlier and then you won’t be late.” He said and she looked at him in disbelief.

“Right, yeah, okay.” She huffed and left his office, shutting the door with enough force to let him know she was upset with him.

**

“Daddy! Look what I did.” Noah screamed as he made his way through the door.

“I’ll have a look in a bit my love, I’m busy at the moment.” Tom answered and their son huffed in response.

**

“Daddy!” Noah shouted as he ran into his father’s open arms. “Can we go for ice-cream?” He asked excitedly.

“Ask mummy, I have some work to do.” Tom said and Noah visibly deflated.

“She already said no, she’s too tired.” Noah mocked his mother’s voice.

“Well I expect she is tired.” Tom said, they never bad mouthed each other in front of the children. It wasn’t something either of them did.

“Why? She doesn’t work.” Noah folded his arms over his chest and Tom looked at him in a scalding manner.

“That’s not nice. Your mummy works really hard to make sure everything and everyone is okay. Don’t talk about her like that.”

“But she doesn’t do anything. She looks after us, my friends mummy works and she’s fine. Everyone at school has said it, she has nothing to be tired about, that’s what my friend’s mummy’s say.” Noah huffed, he had a bit of a temper streak. Tom’s heart plummeted, where people really shit talking his wife? To the point his son had become subject to it.

“That’s enough now Noah.” Tom said as he set his son down.

“Whatever. You’re always too busy and mummy’s always too tired. You’re both boring.” He snapped before running into his bedroom and slamming the door. This made Tom’s heart shatter, they were both trying to do the right thing. Tom really contemplated his life choices and in hind sight he wished he’d done something sooner, especially with the conversation he was about to have that evening.

**

“Tom, you are never here.” She exclaimed, a small comment having sparked an argument that had her struggling to keep her voice down.

“I’m busy. Look in a couple of months I’ll be here.” He said and she huffed folding her arms over her chest.

“You’re always busy Tom. I can’t remember the last time you put us first.”

“I’m doing this so I can take some more time off, Y/N, I don’t wanna be that guy but I earn the money, I can’t just stop working.” He snapped and she felt her anger rise in response.

“That’s bullshit,” she hissed out and he was taken aback by her tone. “You were in some of the biggest movies going a few years back. We are not struggling for money, that is some bullshit excuse for the fact that you’re not around.” She hissed, voice laced in nothing but venom.

“Look, I have a week off starting tomorrow, I don’t need to be anywhere and I won’t have any responsibilities, I can help.” He offered and she sighed, anger leaving her with nothing but defeat.

“I hope so.” She shrugged and Tom looked at her carefully.

“What do you mean?” He asked, there was something in her tone that scared him.

“I mean,” she sighed. “I can’t keep doing this, I’m tired and I need more from you.” She didn’t sound angry just tired and Tom felt his heart drop.

“Meaning?” He asked tentatively.

“Meaning, I can’t carry on doing this and next time it’s going to be a very different conversation. A conversation about us that I really don’t want to have but it’s come to that.” She sighed out before turning on her heel and leaving Tom with his thoughts. His heart shattered, had he really been so neglectful?

Tom was free for a week, which helped slightly because their son was always itching to spend time with his father. She thought this would mean that she got a little respite after their conversation the previous night but that’s not how it panned out.

“Y/N?” Her husbands voice echoed through the halls and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his tone. She shouted back her location within the house and few seconds later he appeared. “I need you to look after Noah.” He said, their son hot on his heels, she furrowed her brows.

“Why?” She couldn’t help but asked and Tom gave her a sympathetic look.

“I need to get some of this work done and as much as I love him he’s distracting me.” Tom spoke and she couldn’t help but huff, it was always something.

“I thought you were off this week?” She couldn’t help but ask, tone clipped and she instantly regretted using it in front of Noah.

“I was but then my agent emailed this morning and I now have a load of work to do.” He said, there was a sadness laced in his tone but she didn’t care. She passed him feeling bad about it, she needed him to put them first and recently he hasn’t.

“Fine, whatever.” She grumbled out a response and Tom felt awful, he could see how tired she was, he wouldn’t deny that. But these two projects were taking over and he felt just as tired trying to keep up. To anyone else looking in they would have said the couple needed to sit down and have a chat but of course relationships are more complex than that and the couple were still waiting to have said chat.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Tom spoke and she sighed.

“It’s whatever Tom. He has some schoolwork he should be doing anyway.” She said, tone defeated and Tom sighed before nodding and making his way back into his office. He wanted to say something but he was afraid to start an argument in front of the children, the two had agreed that their arguments would be kept private, the children didn’t need to know about them.

She spent the afternoon trying to split herself between helping Noah with his math’s work and Ava with her teething. Noah was a bright child when it came to English and Art but Math’s? He was no good at and required a lot of help. She found herself growing frustrated the more she went through the work, she felt guilty but she was so tired she couldn’t help it.

“No, Noah. I’ve shown you this now. Come on, you need to work with me.” She said and instantly regretted the words.

“Mummy, I am trying but I don’t get it.” Noah said back as Ava burst into another flood of tears. She jumped up from her seat, Noah making a noise of annoyance at her actions. She scooped Ava into her arms and rocked her, it was making no difference, the ache in the child’s gum causing ample discomfort.

“Ava come on, shh, it’s okay. Calm down.” She said as she hastily scanned the living room in search of her teething ring. Her eyes landing on the object and she hastily picked it up before handing it to her daughter. She placed the ring in her mouth and instantly her screams calmed to small cries. Once she was settled enough, Y/N placed her back in her high chair and proceeded to help Noah.

She was tired by the end of the evening, her only job being left was to put Noah to bed and he just wouldn’t settle either. He wasn’t great at bed times, he was an alert child who found it hard to switch off for the day.

“Mummy, can we please have another story?” He asked and she felt herself deflate, all she wanted was to have a bath and go to bed.

“But sweetheart, I’ve already read two.” She tried to reason and Noah threw his book onto the floor which made her sigh out as she retrieved it.

“Please mummy? I’m not even tired, can’t I just play with my toys?” He asked, arms folded across his chest and she wasn’t prepared for what was to come next, signs of his temper tantrum approaching and fast.

“No sweetheart, you have school tomorrow.” She sighed out and she watched as her sons face turned into a rather sour expression.

“So? I’m not tired. How can I sleep if I’m not tired? You’re supposed to read to me.” He said and she sighed.

“Baby, mummy’s tired herself okay.” She said, she really didn’t have it in her to stay awake much longer.

“Then get daddy to read to me.” He huffed and she nodded before standing up and making her way into her husbands office, a soft knock pulling him from his work.

“Come in.” Tom’s voice spoke, eyes still trained on his emails.

“Tom? Can you read to Noah please?” She asked, hopefulness lacing her voice, her husbands eyes finding her tired ones. There was something about the way she looked tonight, the way she looked like she was struggling to keep herself stood that reality hit the man hard.

“Of course baby.” Tom said as he stood and he didn’t miss the flash of shock grace his wife’s face. He felt immensely guilty, he hadn’t been there for past six months and he could see what that was doing to her. “Have you eaten?” Tom asked and she shrugged.

“Bits but I’m not hungry.” She said as she rubbed at her red and tired eyes. Tom felt like an utter dick, he’d taken on too much and left his wife to pick up the pieces.

“You should eat.” Tom said and she shrugged.

“I just want to go to bed Tom.” She whispered out and he nodded in response before making his way over to her and kissing her forehead before pulling her into a hug.

“Then go sleep love. I’ve got Noah.” He spoke and she felt relieved, completely and utterly relieved, she didn’t even want the bath anymore, that could wait until tomorrow. She didn’t miss the excitement in her sons voice as Tom made his way into his room and she smiled before practically face planting the bed and falling asleep.

**

It was eight o clock in the morning when she woke, she felt sluggish as she grabbed for her phone and looked at the time. Heart beat picking up far too quickly for her bodies tired state.

“Shit.” She exclaimed as she rushed out of bed and into Noah’s room, only to find the bed empty. “Noah?” She shouted as she ran down the stairs, her mind was racing, she was running late. How had she slept for so many hours? And how had it gone interrupted?

“In here mummy.” Noah shouted back as she raced into the living room.

“I’m sorry, I’m up, I just need to get changed and then we can set off for school.” She rambled as ran into the kitchen to sort out his breakfast.

“Darling, slow down.” She heard Tom’s voice and she spun around to look at her husband, he had bags under his eyes and his hair was a slight mess. How could he still look so good? She wished she could look as good as he did, even tired.

“What?” She looked around the kitchen, evidence that Noah had already had his breakfast. His school bag filled with the books for the day and his packed lunch.

“I’m gonna take him in. Go and chill out.” He spoke as he pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you.” She sighed and Tom nodded.

“I’ll take Ava and then you can get some rest if you need it, I’ll be back soon. I’ll do the shopping, should be an hour or so.” Tom spoke and her heart soared at his words.

“Did Ava sleep through?” She asked, realizing she’d not been woken up by her crying last night.

“Yeah, a few times. I slept in there, wanted you to catch up on some sleep.” He admitted and she could have cried with the happiness the revelation brought her. “We need to talk when I get home.” He spoke and she nodded. “Okay, well I’ll see you in an hour.” He said and she nodded before kissing her son good bye and making him promise to behave.

**

An hour and a half later and she’d had a relaxing bath, one that she was more than thankful and ready for. She’d even managed to have a hot cup of tea, a stark difference to the cold ones she was used to. She’d even managed to read a chapter of her new book, she still felt like she could sleep for a while but overall relaxed and content.

“Hey.” Tom said as he leant against the doorway to their bedroom. She placed her book down and looked at him.

“Hey,” she said somewhat awkwardly, she wasn’t sure how this conversation was about to go.

“I’ve just put Ava down, will probably give us a good hour or so.” He spoke and she nodded. “So,” he sighed. “We should talk.” He continued and she nodded again, words not being able to find her, she needed to know how he feeling, what he was going to say first.

“I’m sorry, I want you to know that. I’ve been so wrapped up in what I’ve been doing that I haven’t noticed what I was doing to you. I’m so used to you being the one who has everything together, who know exactly what to do that I thought you didn’t need my help as much as you do.” He started and she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out before he beat her to it.

“I know that’s not an excuse, it’s poor on my behalf and I’m sorry. You and the children, you mean everything to me. All I want in life is for you guys to get everything you want and need and I’m sorry that I’ve been the way that I have, there are no excuses.” He said and she felt her heart lift, the two could fix this, fix what has been happened. “But I need something from you.” He spoke and she furrowed her brows as she waited for him to continue.

“I need you to be honest, I need you to tell me what it’s been like to be you. I don’t want you to spare my feelings, I want you to let it all out. I’m listening now, darling, I need to know what this has done to you, how I can make it right.” He said and she nodded slightly before sitting up in bed properly, her back against the head board as she carefully played with her wedding ring. Tom sat carefully on the edge of the bed, he needed to hear what she was about to say.

“Tom, you’ve just not been here.” She started with her biggest problem. “Even when you are in the house it’s like you just expect me to do everything. You expect your clothes to be washed, dried and ironed, you expect your dinner on the table and I never used to mind. You would always say thank you but recently you haven’t and it made me wonder whether or not you just expect it of me, that it’s my job.” She started and Tom kept quiet, he wanted her to continue.

“Tom, you used to be so attentive.” She said as she reached over and took his hand in her own. “You always used to be here, know when I needed help without having to ask. I don’t mind doing all of those things for you, I really don’t but when you don’t get a thanks it feels a little like you’re being used.” She continued and his heart shattered, he would never intentionally use her, he loved her, loved his family.

“That brings me onto the kids, Tom they need so much attention. They want me to split myself in two half of the time and I can’t, it’s impossible. They both need so much from me and given Ava teething I don’t even get a full night’s sleep. I am constantly trying to run off energy that I just don’t have. It wasn’t so bad when Noah was a baby, we took shifts, you helped. Recently though Tom, it’s been me that gets up and tends to her, me that sacrifices sleep.”

“I know that might sound selfish but when you have a partner, a husband who’s supposed to help with all that it gets tiresome. I found myself getting so angry with you, I wanted to be you, I wanted to bury my head in paperwork and think of nothing else. There were days when I honestly wanted nothing to do with you, I didn’t want to be around you because everything little thing you did angered me.”

“I’ve been so tired, my mind is never where it should be. I’m always doing stupid things because I’m so tired. I never feel like I get anything back from you. I’m too tired to have an evening to myself when they have gone to sleep, I just want to sleep myself. I’m always running around after them, something you barely do anymore, sure you play with them but when was the last time you had to deal with one of Noah’s meltdowns?”

“I get that you have a lot on, I get that two projects keep you busy and if we didn’t have kids it wouldn’t affect me as much but we do and it does. I need you to be there for me Tom, I can’t keep doing this alone, I can’t.” She ended her rant and Tom felt awful, he was so angry with himself, she didn’t even sound angry anymore. She sounded like she’d accepted it and she was just tired with the situation, somehow he wishes she was screaming at him right now.

“I’m sorry princess. There are no words, no excuses for what I’ve done. I’m sorry I made you feel like that, it was never my intention. You mean the world to me, you and the kids. Things are gonna change, I promise.” Tom said, he knew now that actions spoke louder than words, it wasn’t what she wanted him to say it was what she wanted him to do.

“On top of all of that Tom, I can’t remember the last time we did anything as a couple. Most of the time I’m asleep when you get to bed, I can’t remember the last time we touched each other, it’s just draining. It all adds up.”

“I know darling. I promise things are gonna change. Why don’t you pick a film and I’ll be back in a minute?” He said and she nodded as she flicked the TV on and got herself comfortable in bed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a day in bed. Tom returned almost ten minutes later and she wondered where he had gotten to.

“Where did you end up?” She asked as he made his way into the bedroom, two bottles of water in hand.

“Well, I grabbed these, I made sure Ava was still okay and the baby monitor is working properly and I had to send a couple of emails.” He admitted and her heart dropped, after everything she’d just said? He took in her expression as he placed the water down and jumped into bed with her. “Not like that darling, I’ve passed one of my projects onto Harrison and Harry, they’re gonna finish it up.” He said and she relaxed. “I promised things will change and they will.”

**

“Daddy!” Noah shouted as he ran to his father, who was there at the school gate to pick him up, Y/N right there next to him. It had been a while since they both picked him up. Ava was a little more settled today which made things a little easier.

“How was school?” Tom asked enthusiastically and then almost cried when he realised how long it had been since he asked that question.

“Amazing!” Noah gushed as he looked at his mother. “Mummy, you look so pretty.” He spoke and she laughed.

“She always looks pretty.” Tom defended her and Noah nodded.

“Yeah, but she looks extra pretty today.” Noah said. It had been a while since she was able to put effort into her appearance and she felt better for doing it. Even if it was only a nicely picked out outfit and tamed hair. “Can we go for ice cream?”

“You my boy have an obsession.” Tom laughed as he poked his son playfully. “But yeah, I think that’ll be a good idea.” Tom said as he looked to his wife who nodded in response. She didn’t miss the looks of jealousy thrown her way when they saw her with Tom.

“So what did you do this afternoon?” Noah asked his parents as he was being strapped into the back of the car.

“We watched a film.” Tom stated, it was an absolute lie, they’d gotten half an hour into the film before Tom had his head between his wife’s legs. It had been a while since they’d done anything like that and when they both realised that fact. When they both realised how long it had truly been since they’d done anything, they spent most of the afternoon catching up with each other’s bodies. In between tending to their baby of course, they both felt energized after their endeavors between the sheets.

“Was it good?”

“Absolutely amazing.” Y/N answered as Tom slipped into the driver’s seat, she took his hand in hers as she held it in her lap.

“Can we watch another film when we get home?” Noah asked excitedly.

“Sure, how about we go and spend the afternoon doing something fun and then we can go out for tea, go home and watch a film?” Tom suggested and Noah fist bumped the air.

“Yes! Does this mean you two aren’t going to be boring now?” Noah asked and Y/N and Tom found themselves laughing.

“Yes, this means we aren’t going to be boring anymore.”