#yeah no i'm in Such A Bad Mood and headspace over all

[fstbmp-a]

So sorry I didn't do that much today. It's been.. a wild ride. Sooort of vent in the tags? I suppose.

[choiuikawa]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡ Rainy Days

CONTENT: it's just you and your boyfriend Kuroo Tetsurou on a rainy day.

WARNINGS: fluff, GN reader, smitten Kuroo, reader hated rainy days, college AU, they both live in the same apartment, lowkey corny, OOC.

author's note: HI! this is my first post on this account, im not good at writing but I do hope you enjoy! ^_^

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹

You have always despised rainy days, but your boyfriend? He was the complete opposite. He loves it when it rains, especially on weekends. Whenever it rains and he has practice, he usually comes back home drenched in rain. You doesn't particularly mind, despite the fact that he ends up having fever.

Today was a dreary day, indicating rainfall. You groaned in frustration as it was supposed to be a good day today. You were expecting to go on a date with your boyfriend at a local cafe that has recently opened. Sadly, those expectations were broken down once it started dripping. As the both of you went home, you seemed dejected since you were really looking forward to heading over to that local cafe.

"Why the gloomy look baby? are you okay?" A low pitched voice stops you from getting farther into your headspace.

"Yeah I'm okay." You can't just hide how you actually feel, but being upset over a rainy day because you can't go and head over to a cafe for a date when you could literally just go the next day? You feel stupid.

"Don't hide how you feel. I can obviously tell that something is on your mind. Now tell me, what's wrong?" His voice was tender and gentle towards you, reassuring you that he was there to listen to you.

You hesitate for a few seconds then finally respond to him. "The rain ruined our date today, and I was really looking forward to it. Especially since that cafe has just recently opened.. Including the fact that I've heard that their pastries and coffee's are amazing!" You ranted out towards him with sincerity in your voice.

He looks at you for a moment then his face immediately softens. "Baby, we can just have a date at home. And, we can make good food just like the food and coffee in the cafe. Plus, it's just the both of us. So cheer up okay?" he plants a kiss on your cheek, and your entire mood changes within seconds.

The moment the both of you got home, you had both changed into better clothing and started to brew up your own coffee and bake some delicious pastries. In the process of baking, the both of you messed up the batter since he couldn't stop laughing at the way the batter sort of splashed everywhere while using the mixer. They had both shared laughter and joy together while baking. In the end, it turned out.. decent.. I guess? they both gagged.

After all that has passed, night has fallen upon the day. Currently, it was still raining. Both bodies sprawled onto the couch, her body hugging his while their attention was on the TV in front of them since they were binge watching their favorite shows that they have both shared interest in. The notebook

He turned his attention to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek which caught her attention. "mm? What is it Tetsu?" you giggled.

"Jus' wanted my beautiful lovely partner's attention." he muttered out, purely toned with love and adoration towards you.

You returned back the kiss on his lips, pulling away a few moments later. Your lips had a lingering feel on his, he felt butterflies in his stomach. Sure, it isn't the first time you have kissed, but he was always smiling and looking at you with the most smitten and lovey eyes you could imagine. You never fail to make him fall in love with you again and again.

"I know you don't like rainy days, but this was my favorite day." he proudly says while nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

And there, you realize. maybe,

rainy days aren't so bad after all...

when its with him.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹

© @cupidsfavors — DO NOT COPY OR REPOST. Reblogs are appreciated!

[citrinesparkles]

stormy weather

jason todd x gender neutral reader. 720 words. notes: a very abstract take on 'write a true story about you with characters instead of people', one of the prompts from the ever lovely @reaperintheroses drabble december! this was more 'write about feelings', but i tried. warnings: vague bad headspace on jason's part

he was in a mood.

you weren't sure what mood, but it wasn't good.

it was, however, familiar enough that you weren't surprised when he walked through the bedroom like a ghost.

all he took with him as he left it was a nail file.

you sat quietly, listening for the window.

there it was, about half a minute later: the sliding sound of the window in the frame was quiet but unmistakable, as was the sound of it sliding shut behind him.

fire escape brooding.

you sighed- that was a surefire sign that the mood had settled in completely. you had hoped, somewhat naïvely, that it would be a "wrong side of the bed" situation; had hoped he would be able to shake it off.

with the mood here to stay, you put your phone aside and slid out of bed.

it wasn't something to fix. not days like this. as much as you wished you could carry the weight of this for him, you settled instead for trying to share the load.

you took your time walking through the apartment, giving him his space for a little while as you boiled water and steeped tea for him.

you dug out his largest, warmest sweatshirt, tugging it on to brace against the cold you knew was wrapped around him both mentally and literally. then, with a glance at his silhouette in the window, you picked up his mug and approached.

he barely reacted to the sound of the window opening, only shifting slightly so his ear was towards you in silent acknowledgement.

"i made tea," you said softly, leaning on the sill. "interested?"

jason hesitated a moment, the only sounds the traffic below.

he shrugged, twirling the nail file between two fingers.

you reached over, gently pressing the mug into his free hand, watching as he pulled it to his chest with a hum.

"do you want space, or would you prefer i join you?"

"...you can." his voice was steady, but uncharacteristically quiet and lifeless. "not gonna be much company right now."

you slid out the window, closing it behind you, and he glanced up at you blankly. "you don't have to be," you said firmly, quietly, as you sat down beside him. "i'm just here."

the metal was freezing, even through your thick sweatpants. it would take more than a stretch of the imagination to call it comfortable, but you settled in like it was memory foam.

you sat in silence, listening to him breathe beside you and watching it fog in your peripheral.

you sat until your legs ached and your nose felt about ready to fall off from the cold. you sat for far longer than it took him to drain his mug. you sat long enough that the rush of lunch traffic came and went below you.

you sat watching gray clouds churn in the sky, offering the only comfort you could: he wasn't alone.

eventually, he inhaled deeply, and you felt something shift.

"you want a grilled cheese?" his voice was rough and quiet, but using it was a good sign.

you recognized the offer as the thank you that it was.

"yeah," you matched his volume, gently breaking your silence. "that sounds good."

it wasn't over, not by a long shot. you could feel it in the air around you, as though jason was a storm and the front was rolling in. it would be a few days, you suspected, of this- of disconnect, of that distant look in his eyes.

and that was the best case scenario.

he pushed himself up and off the ground, wincing when his bad ankle popped unpleasantly, and you changed your mind. he wasn't the storm. a storm in his own right, sure, strong and beautiful and immovable to all the world, but in this case he was standing on the coast and watching the storm turn the ocean angry.

he reached a hand down to help you up.

you took it, squeezing it once, twice, three times in quick succession as you hauled yourself to your feet. once there, you relaxed your grip.

he kept his, keeping your palm against his own. bracing himself against the wind.

you'd be damned if you let him board up the windows and sandbag the doorways on his own.

[skele-bunny]

Your bpd Dew is so real to me, please more

I just posted the thing like 6 minutes ago wHO ARE YOU /silly

At first, Dewdrop overwhelmed the FUCK out of Aether and Mountain. They were so deeply exhausted from his constant yelling and mood swings. They loved him so very much, but it was mentally taxing to go from one moment just whispering their absolute love for one another to Dew screaming about how they don't care about him, then another whiplash of him begging at their feet to never leave him.

Aether finally sat him down and was like "You need therapy. Bad." They all honestly thought it was his body and mind finally reacting to his abuse, and in a way, it is.

Got that "pretty" (sarc) little diagnosis. It finally clicks with all of them after a learning more about it like, "Yeah. Yeah that makes sense."

Aether gets better at recognizing Dew's splits, it's usually super lovey or super aggressive over "nothing" in Aether's eyes. He never once invalidates Dew for what he's feeling, getting better and better to calm him, making compromises to his needs.

But he also knows when to step away when it's getting too much. They were having a genuine argument after the talk of their previous pack came up, Dew just simply brushing off what happened to him and Aether quipping back about what actually happened.

"It wasn't that fucking bad! You keep saying this shit and it's never true, you're just trying to make our pack look bad!"

"Dew, what they did WASN'T okay! You can't be brushing off that behavior as normal!"

"Oh, what, are you fucking ashamed that you're part of that pack too or what?"

Aether just puts his hands up, taking a breath and starts going to the door. "I'm walking away. We can come back to this later."

"Go the fuck ahead! Leave since that's what you're so fucking good at!"

The door shuts and Aether can hear something be thrown at it, but he just ignores and calms down. He takes a very heated walk around the abbey and the gardens, needing a good hour before he's finally ready to come back to Dew. When his knock isn't answered he just lets himself in, seeing their absolutely demolished room and Dew in the furthest corner on the bed. He sniffling, eyes bloodshot from the amount of tears, starting again when Aether walks all the way in. He's wracked with sobs, crawling to the end and holding onto his shirt, making sure he's as close as possibly.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, you came back... You came back, I'm so sorry, please don't leave me again, please."

"Of course I'd come back... Hey, hey, lets take a deep breath okay?"

Dew's still babbling but doing his best until he's able to breathe normally. "You ready to talk?"

He just nods and Aether joins him on the bed, and Dewdrop just really bad needs physical reassurance. They're holding each other while they talk about their individual feelings, how what the other said effected them.

"When you said that I must've been ashamed, it hit me in two ways. I would never be ashamed, as that's where I met you and it felt like you were demonizing us. Then, you were comparing me to Omega and Ifrit. You know what they did to you love, and maybe it was me misinterpreting what you said, but it made me think you seen me in the same light as them."

"I'm sorry. I meant about you being ashamed to even be associated with us, which made me start thinking you were ashamed of me. Sometimes I just... Blank out about them, and I only really remember positives when I'm in such like... A white thinking headspace. I'm really sorry."

"I'm really sorry, too. I love you more than anything in this world, and I'm sorry for leaving you alone, it's just I knew I needed to walk away."

"I'm glad you did... Are you mad at me for breaking the room?"

"A little, but it's okay. It's replaceable and fixable. As long as you help me pick it up, does that sound fair?"

"Yeah..."

Aether just snuggling against Dewdrop's shoulder, kissing his cheek after. "In the future, how about when we start talking about our old pack, we make a codeword for when we think the other is being excessive or something comes off wrong and upsets the other?"

"I think I'd like that..."

So they have "chocolate Terzo candies." Which can be said casually but completely odd they'd understand it. It's long, but it's enough for them to process! Honestly, it works amazing.

They learned together that if Dew is given a task to specifically calm down from his fp splits, he's more inclined to do it and finally regulate himself. His mind will stick as "I'm so fucking upset/angry at him, but if I do xyz like he asked, he'll see how good I am." It just mellows his process down SO much and it's usually something Aether knows Dewdrop will enjoy. His mindset then switches to "I'm glad Aether showed me this. Once he comes back, I'll show him I did as he asked, and maybe we can talk more." Which leads into talking about the split

Idk I just love them dude

[lonelywhalien22]

trust me

pairing: bang chan x reader

rating/genre: comfort, fluff, sprinkle of angst

summary: you're having a bad day and your boyfriend chan is there to try and make you feel better.

warnings: reader is low key hella sad in this (take care of yourselves yall <3) + a steamy kiss (very self indulgent ik i'm sorry)

word count: 2.7k

song(s) to listen to while reading: steamroller by phoebe bridgers (reader is hella sad so are we surprised lol), renee's song by bazzi, fall by chloe x halle

note: while i try to tame some bigger fic ideas into submission i'll occasionally polish up + share some of my more decent smaller pieces from years past. pretty sure i wrote this one in the throws of the p*ndemic while struggling with college and feeling hella touch starved...so yeah...enjoy lol <3

————

It was one of those days - one where that funny feeling had bubbled up inside of you, seemingly out of nowhere. You knew it all too well by now, knew its signs and its symptoms. One moment you’d be fine, and then it would happen - a dreaded phone call for an appointment that you could no longer put off, a tedious task at work, a much needed item that you’d misplaced and couldn’t find - sometimes it was all of these things in one day and more, and suddenly you weren’t ok. And as much as you’d try to not let all the frustrations of life get to you, as much as you’d try to hold on to the good, to the light, sometimes bit by bit it would still slip from your grasp until you were tired of trying and there was nothing left inside of you but a dull gray.

You hated when you got in these sorts of moods - used to think there'd be some stage in life, some milestone you could reach, thing you could achieve that would make them go away forever, but you’d survived enough of them by now to know that it was a lifelong battle. There were highs and lows, and today just happened to be one of the lows.

Today also just happened to be one where your boyfriend Bang Chan was supposed to be coming over. His presence was one that so often brought light into your life - fun and laughter and a smile to every situation, but despite having accepted that you were in a sour mood, the thought of him seeing you this way made you feel worse instead of better - like a recluse undeserving of such sweet affection. As if he could hear your thoughts from afar, your cellphone began ringing on the kitchen table, temporarily snapping you right out of your self pity.

“Am I still good to stop by in an hour?" You could practically hear the excitement in his voice, imagining his charming smile immediately, but the warmth in your chest only lasted for a second before you just felt even more upset with yourself. You didn’t wanna burden him with your feelings - tramp all over his joy with your frustration.

"Hey Chan. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of feeling like trash right now." You thought maybe that would be the end of it, hoped that he would read between the lines, but he was completely oblivious, a caring tone seeping into his words as he tried to help you instead.

"Are you sick? I can pick up something for you and bring it by if you want.”

"No, that's not exactly it," you began, struggling to find the words. There was a long pause on the line, and you could hear Chan shifting, as if he was sitting up. You cursed in your head. There was no way he was gonna let this go now - not when you were being so distant. 

“Babe, you know you can tell me anything right?” His use of the nickname made your heart flutter again, gently coaxing you to open up to him - to be honest.

“I know.” 

“Then talk to me.”

“I just…I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“Nothing you say is stupid,” Chan said immediately. “Tell me what’s going on.”

You let out a sigh before nervously continuing. “It’s just…sometimes I’ll get in this really weird headspace and it makes me feel like crap and...I'm just annoyed with myself. I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense...I think maybe I just need to be alone right now," you tried to get the last words out but began to break down a little as you really thought about what you’d said. Something about hearing it out loud made it feel all the more real, your eyes beginning to water and throat beginning to dry up.

“It sounds like you're upset. You sure you don't want me to come over?” 

You took a big breath, trying to calm yourself before speaking again, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find it in you to say anything else. It felt paralyzing - being stuck between the part of you that just wanted him to be with you and the part that was afraid you’d scare him away forever with your feelings. The more you thought about it the more emotional you got, and you felt a tear run down your cheek before you started to sob silently into the phone.

"Babe? Y/n?” Chan asked, voice becoming laced with concern. 

"Yeah?" It was all you could manage to sob out.

"I'm coming over right now," he said quickly, making the decision for you. You could already hear shuffling sounds in the background as he presumably scrambled to grab his things.

"Give me like twenty minutes ok? And just stay on the line with me please? Can you do that for me?" 

"Yeah. I'm sorry." 

“There's nothing to be sorry for," Chan said softly.

————

In less than twenty minutes you heard a hurried knock on your door. Hanging up on your phone, you pulled yourself off of the couch and shuffled over to the entrance of your apartment, unlocking and pulling open the door to reveal your boyfriend's slightly panicked face.

“Hey…” he whispered gently when he saw you. You moved out of the way and he quickly stepped inside, setting down a bunch of bags before he turned back around and immediately enveloped you in his arms. The warmth of his body pressed against yours easily disarmed you, walls falling down so that all you could think about was his sturdy embrace. 

"I'm sorry,” you mumbled into his chest, trying to look at him. “I didn't mean to worry y-" 

"Hmm. Shush. No apologizing. Just let me hold you for a minute, yeah?" 

You nodded your head against him, silent as you slowly relaxed all the muscles in your body and let yourself really feel his warmth, feel all of the love radiating from his body into yours. He smelled like his shower gel, a hint of spearmint seeping into your lungs as your breathing began to slow and your eyes closed, whizzing thoughts in your head beginning to dissipate one by one. Your fingers curled into the fabric of his black sweater, holding on as if you never wanted to let go, and he let you - staying wrapped around you for an entire minute, just like he said. One of his hands stayed firmly wrapped around your waist while the other went up to start rubbing all the way from your head to the middle of your back, repeating the motion leisurely. You released a sigh of content as he did this, feeling yourself start to calm down, heart rate beginning to slow. Eventually he loosened his arms just enough to pull back a little and look at your tear-stained face.

"Let's sit down and I'll get you some food to eat hmm?" he said quietly, thumb wiping across your wet cheeks. You nodded, feeling a bit like a child as he lead you to your couch and wrapped a blanket around you before getting you some food from one of the bags he brought. When he came back you noticed his hair was a bit wet, presumably still drying from a shower he must have taken right before calling you, strands curling from the dampness. And as you looked down at the container of food he’d placed in your hands you realized it was your favorite meal from your favorite place. He even remembered how you always asked for extra sauce. 

Chan stayed silent as you slowly picked up your fork and began to eat, still sniffling a little. He easily found the remote to your tv, switching it on in a practiced familiarity, and put on one of your favorite movies, letting it play softly in the background before digging in to his own food.

When you’d both finished eating, he silently patted his lap, and you knew without any explanation that he was asking you to lean yourself back into his embrace. You did so shyly, Chan grabbing the blanket and draping it around the two of you before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you even closer. Finally you relaxed, leaning your head into the crook of his neck and turning slightly so that you could shamelessly wrap your arms around his middle, no longer even focusing on the tv at all. It felt so comforting to be in his arms that your eyes immediately began to close, his embrace luring you to sleep.

————

When you woke up it was dark outside. You blinked a couple times, shifting slightly before realizing that you were still completely wrapped up in Chan’s arms. To your embarrassment, you caught him peeking at you with the softest look on his face, your heart beating a little faster because you’d never been this close to him for so long before. 

“Better?” he asked you simply, thumb moving to rub against your elbow gently.

You opened your eyes a bit wider, immediately beginning to shift up on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I didn't realize how late it was," you said quickly instead of answering his question, feeling guilty as you shifted a little from his embrace. You’d essentially used him as your own personal pillow for who knows how many hours. “I didn’t mean to keep you here like that for so long,” you continued to ramble, but Chan only shook his head in response.

“Y/n. Hey - look at me,” Chan said with a soothing tone. You stopped your shuffling and did as he asked.

“Do you feel better?” he repeated his question from earlier, and you finally nodded a little before picking at the blanket on your lap.

“Yeah. I’m just sorry I wasted your time because of some dumb mood I was in," you responded, annoyed with yourself as you pushed your hair out of your face roughly.

“You know it’s not a crime to feel sad, right?” Chan started gently after a couple beats of silence, clearly trying to find the right words as his thumb continued to lightly rub against your skin. “Even if there isn’t a clear reason - that doesn’t make how you’re feeling any less real.”

“I guess.” You dismissed his words easily, clearly not taking them to heart.

"Why do you always do that?" he asked lightly.

"What do you mean?”

"Talk yourself down. Dismiss how you're feeling,” he elaborated, a little concern in his voice once again. “It makes me worry about you.” 

Your eyes widened in surprise before you looked off to the side. 

“I don’t know, I guess it’s just out of habit.”

Chan tapped your elbow, silently asking you to look at him again. 

"Can I tell you something?” he whispered into the quiet. You nodded curiously.

"I care about you - so much that it scares me sometimes,” he said earnestly, raking a hand through his hair. "You're so thoughtful, so kind, such an amazing listener - you make it so easy for me to be honest about how I'm feeling, and I've never felt more comfortable talking to anyone else,” he continued, looking down a little as he said that last part.

His words made you feel shy all over again, not expecting him to be so open with you. You willed yourself to keep looking at him.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that…I wanna make you feel safe too - safe to share how you’re feeling with me, the good and the bad. Because that’s how you make me feel.” 

“Chan…” you said, lightly smacking his arm in jest as you looked away from him, tears flooding your eyes for a different reason. But he just leaned forward and kissed your temple, pulling you back into his arms gently before continuing.

“Trust me, ok?” Chan asked as you nodded into his chest. “I want you to know that you can always share how you’re feeling with me - even if it’s sad or you don’t think it makes any sense - even if I can’t fix it for you - I’ll always at least be here to listen, I promise. Just don’t hide from me, yeah?”

Tears were falling from your eyes now - not because you were sad, but because Chan’s care for you felt so unconditional, so devoid of judgement - and you’d never known care like that from a partner before. You didn’t have any words to respond in that moment - all you knew was that you wished the two of you could stay on your couch, just like this, forever. 

"I didn't mean to make you cry again," Chan said, a little worried as he saw your expression. "Let me get you some t -”

But you leaned up and kissed him gently, cutting off his words. This wasn't your first kiss, but it was definitely the first that you had initiated. Usually you would just stare at his lips longingly or give the tiniest of hints until he finally caught on to what you wanted, but this time you couldn't hold yourself back. You just felt this boost of confidence, an unrelenting need to express a feeling that words couldn't define. 

Chan was shocked at first, but he quickly fell into it, closing his eyes and immediately wrapping his hands around your waist oh so gently as his lips began to move against yours slowly, lightly, with the utmost care. You each tilted your heads instinctively to opposite sides, still not coming up for any air as you maneuvered yourself back into his lap and brought a hand up to caress the side of his face before combing your fingers through his hair instead, a tiny noise of contentment leaving you in that moment. 

“Y/n…” he groaned softly against your smiling lips. 

"Hmmm?" you responded, still in a feeling of utter bliss. Your other hand was rubbing across his upper chest and shoulder soothingly, and you leaned in and kissed him again before he could even muster enough sense to respond, unable to stop yourself. Chan’s lips began moving against yours again, and he started to lean forward until your back was against a pillow on the couch and he was hovering over you completely. It felt as if he was trying to reach your heart with just the movements his warm, pillowy lips made against yours.

His thumbs started rubbing soothing circles into your waist and you felt like you were floating on a cloud, mind becoming hazy as your head became filled with thoughts of him and only him. He left three final pecks on your lips, finally mustering enough self control to pull back before things got even more heated. His hands slid from your waist all the way up to your cheeks, caressing them softly. 

You were smiling softly but genuinely, in complete bliss as he leaned in and kissed your forehead sweetly before finally saying, “I love you, you know?"

“I love you too,” you whispered quietly, just enough for him to hear. 

He rubbed his thumb near the corner of your lips, eyes crawling all over your face before he said a little regretfully, "I hate for this to end but I don't wanna keep you up any later than it already is."

“Then just stay over for the night. Please?" you begged a little bit and put a pout on your face. He immediately kissed it off of you and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

"Are you sure?"

Neither of you had ever spent the night at each other's place, so it was completely new territory and you could tell he didn’t want to seem like he was taking advantage of the entire situation. You shifted up a little to kiss his forehead back.

“Chan, I want you to. I promise. Please?”

You meant every word. You wanted nothing more than to hold him all night long.

"Ok," he said quietly, grin growing on his face until you saw that cheeky smile you loved so dearly.

————

That night was one of the most peaceful you’d ever had in recent memory. Buried deep under your sheets, nestled under the stars, you curled yourself into his arms - so close that you could feel his heartbeat against your cheek, slow and steady. And you fell asleep just like that - sweet dreams eventually melting away into the morning sun.

[nostalgic-woodwind]

I'll Be There For You

CG!Husk, CG!Fat Nuggets, and Regressor!Angel

Plot: Angel has a nightmare in the middle of the night and his papa comforts him.

Request by @yourneurodivergentlady

Angel's little age: Newborn

🩷🕷🩷🕷🩷🕷🩷

TW: Mention of Valentino, diapers (100% SFW, of course—just putting out a warning in case you're not comfortable with the topic)

Original Three Baby Spiders lyrics are from Adventure Time. It Will Be Okay belongs to Helluva Boss; lyrics are edited and modified by yours truly ^^

It was a peaceful night at the Hazbin Hotel, even though Hell outside painted a different picture with its noisy, rambunctious ambiance. Everyone inside of the hotel was asleep. Even Niffty–who usually hunted for bugs to kill during this time–was sleeping peacefully. In Husk's room, the cat-demon was snoring quietly in his bed. Next to him was Angel, literally sleeping like a baby in his bedside crib. Fat Nuggets was also asleep in the spider's arms. Yep, it was all quiet and peaceful.

————

2:22 A.M.

Angel woke up from a nightmare that unfortunately involved Valentino hurting him and his pet pig. The bad dream caused Angel's headspace to drop more than it was and he immediately began to cry. Fat Nuggets woke up to the ruckus and became worried. He licked the spider's cheek to cheer him up, but it did little to make him feel better. 

"Wha- huh?" Husk grumbled as he woke up. He sat up and spotted Angel wailing. "Hey, Angel. What's wrong?"

Husk scooted over to Angel and gently picked him up, cradling him in his arms.

"What's wrong, pumpkin, hm?" Husk asked. Angel continued crying, but they lessened as his caregiver rubbed his back. "Did you have a nightmare?"

The spiderling tearfully hiccuped as he hid in Husk's shoulder.

"Shhh, shh-sh-sh-sh, it's okay. I'm here, shhh-shhhh," the cat-demon whsipered soothingly.

Husk stood up from the bed and continued comforting the baby. He then turned on the bedroom lights.

"Can I check if your padding needs changing?"

Angel nodded his head and allowed Husk to check his diaper.

"M'kay, let's get you changed and we'll see about getting you a bottle, yeah?"

Angel nodded his head and sniffled as Husk carried him over to the changing table. After grabbing a pacifier from the paci drawer and popping it in Angel's mouth, the cat-demon wiped away his tears and began to change him.

"Do you want to talk about the nightmare?" Husk asked. Angel shook his head, and Husk respected that as he continued changing him, narrating his actions so the spider knew what he was doing. The cat-demon then got an idea on how to cheer Angel up. He cleared his throat and started to sing.

Three baby spiders

Three bitty baby spiders

Were playing in the sun

The rain came down and it was no fun

La la la la loo la loo

Oh me, oh my, what should they do?

The first spider grabbed some umbrellas

The second spider played and he was happy all day

The babiest of all splashed and had a ball

They grew up very tall and lived inside a wall

Sometimes, the sun shines

even on baby spiders and you

Angel smiled and began giggling in the middle of the song, especially when Husk sang the "la la la la loo la loo" part. He loved the Three Baby Spiders song whenever he was on the younger spectrum of his headspace.

"Yeah, you like that song?" Husk cooed as he taped a fresh diaper on Angel and cleaned his paws with a fresh baby wipe. He then put Angel's pajama pants back on. "Was that silly?"

Angel continued laughing as Husk picked him back up and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"M'kay, let's get you a bottle so you can go back to bed."

The last few words immediately took Angel out of his jubilant mood, and he grasped onto Husk's pajama shirt in terror. He whimpered through his pacifier and hid his face in his caregiver's shoulder.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Husk cooed as he gave a gentle bounce and rubbed Angel's back.

The baby shook his head.

"You don't want to go night-night?"

Angel shook his head again.

"Are you afraid of having another nightmare?" the cat-demon inquired, receiving a nod from his baby. "It's okay to feel scared, rebenok pauk. Nightmares are just bad dreams and will never get you in real time. If you have a scary dream again, Fat Nuggets and I will be right here to comfort you and give you all the cuddles and kisses you want."

Husk planted a kiss on Angel's forehead and carried him downstairs to the kitchen. He set the baby down on the floor so he could make a bottle for him. The spider was not happy about this and began to fuss once his bottom touched the ground.

"I know you want to keep being held, piccolo ragno, but I can't do that right now," Husk said. "I just have to make your bottle. It won't take me but a few minutes."

Husk began making Angel his favorite little drink, angel milk (without sugar, of course, because a sugar rush would ensue). As if on cue, Fat Nuggets walked into the kitchen with the spider's baby blanket. The pig handed the comfort item to Angel, who took it gratefully and cheered up again. Angel cooed happily and gave Fat Nuggets a hug. The spider then yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Is someone getting sleepy?" Husk asked once he finished making the bottle and testing the milk on his wrist to see if the drink was at the right temperature. Angel nodded again as he reached his arms out to the cat-demon. Husk picked him and Fat Nuggets up and carried them back upstairs to his room. 

Once in the bedroom, Husk turned on the bedside lamp next to his bed. He then turned on the lamp next to the rocking chair. The cat-demon then turned off the main bedroom light, leaving the lamps on. He walked back to the rocking chair and sat down. He cradled Angel on his lap. The spider snuggled in Husk's arms while he cuddled Fat Nuggets and his blankie. As Husk began rocking the chair back and forth, he removed the pacifier from the baby's mouth and replaced it with the bottle. Angel drank the milk contentedly as he rubbed his eyes again.

"There we go. You're doing such a wonderful job drinking your milk," Husk praised softly.

The next few minutes were spent with Angel humming sleepily as Husk fed him his bottle. The cat-demon soon grew sad for his baby. He wished he could be there for him all the time. However, a certain piece-of-shit overlord was always trying his hardest to keep the spider from staying here at the hotel. Husk remembered back when he used to be an overlord. Even if he was made of stone, he would never ever allow for someone to go through abuse. If he met Valentino during his overlord era, he would have ripped his antennas and wings to shreds.

Angel's exhausted coos from behind his bottle broke Husk's train of thoughts.

"I'm okay, spiderling. Papa's okay," Husk reassured. "I want you to know something. Remember when we read the Sleepytime book before bed, and the mom said to her kid that she will always be there for her? Well, that's true for you and me. No matter what happens, no matter where you are, I will always be there for you, even when you can't see me. Do you wanna know why? It's because I love you."

Husk then began to sing.

It always seems more quiet in the dark

It always feels so stark

How silence grows under the moon

Constellations gone so soon

I used to think that I was bold

I used to think power was fun

Now all my stories have been told except for one

As Husk sang that last line, he rubbed his nose against Angel's before continuing to sing. 

As the stars start to align

I hope you take it as a sign

That you'll be okay

Everything will be okay

And if the Seven Rings collapse

Although the day could be my last

You will be okay

When I'm gone, you'll be okay

And when Creation goes to die

You can find me in the sky

Upon the last day

And you will be okay

The song ended and the bottle was empty. Angel whinged because of this, but Husk soothed him by placing the pacifier back into his mouth.

"It's okay. It's all okay, now," Husk said as he continued rocking the chair.

Angel calmed down and suckled the soother as he was rocked to sleep for a few more minutes. Once Angel was out like a light, Husk stood up after checking to see if Fat Nuggets was safely secured in the spider's arms and carried them to bed. He gently laid Angel down in his bedside crib and tucked him in. He turned on the crib attachment toy and kissed Angel’s forehead before heading off to sleep himself.

[alectoperdita]

Can you tell us a bit more about the confrontation at the kink club (in bad guys have more fun)? I'm very curious!

Yeah, I'm happy to spill a bit on that!

So I am super tempted to dedicate a whole part in the series to this, but given there's actual character/relationship consequences to this one, it's harder to write than cranking out more PWP. But do not count it out. Just waiting to get into the right headspace to tackle it.

Hacker!Seto has a history of going to kink and BDSM clubs semi-regularly, since long before he started sleeping with Jou. Not only is it a convenient place to find sexual partners when he's bored and horny, he also finds subbing (in specific scenarios) is a good reset for his brain when he gets "stuck." But since he got together with Jou, he hasn't been to one.

Until they have a particularly trying job. Jou has a pretty well-developed sense of Seto's mood at this point. And Seto is vibrating. He is snappy. He is Wound Up. Jou half expects Seto will be tracking him down afterward so he can get the tension fucked out of him.

Except Seto doesn't go find Jou. They finish up the job and Seto splits. Jou, now even more worried, decides to follow him. When Seto is this Tense, he usually starts acting recklessly. Jou is invested enough in him he's concerned about his general well-being at this point. (Plus, if Seto can stalk him, Jou should be able to return the favor, right?)

Jou follows him to a place he figures out is a sex club as he grifts his way in through a service entrance. It takes a bit but he finds Seto with another guy, talking real close and being kinda touchy and obviously flirting. Jou watches them for a while, super conflicted. Now they never discussed being exclusive. Jou's always kinda thought Seto might be fucking other people, but convinced himself it was none of his business. It's harder to stay impartial, though, when he's faced with apparent evidence.

(Yeah, he's jealous, but he knows he shouldn't be jealous because it's not like Seto's his actual significant other. It's not technically cheating.)

Jou can't take it anymore when it looks like Seto and his companion are about to set away and go somewhere more private. He slips in and pretends all "hey sorry to keep you waiting." Other guy gets pissed (lol he did not sign up to get roped into a cuck fantasy or some other couple play). Seto is also pissed because he just lost his playmate.

But they can't come to blows in the middle of the open area of the club, so they make use of the private room to duke it in.

No small part of this confrontation is Jou being faced with his own hurt pride. What? Was he not good enough that Seto had to go cruising for other dick? He knows they're just fuck buddies, but he was under the impression that they were both satisfied with that.

Seto has to brutally correct him that this isn't about Jou, get over himself. (In his view, it's not about any deficiencies on Jou's part, but in a healthier relationship, this is also where you talk candidly to your partner, and they're not in a place to do that until they're absolutely forced to. Like right this moment, lol.) They've been having fantastic sex, but it's fantastic vanilla sex.

Seto sometimes craves more.

This doesn't reassure Jou at all. Does Seto think he's incapable of giving him what he wants? For crying out loud, he was straight like a month or two ago. Now look at him!

Seto questions if Jou actually can. Because this isn't like whatever he thinks from his porn. Seto likes impact play, specifically. And he knows, he can see that Jou struggles with the violence he can and has inflicted in his past. He doesn't want or need Jou's issues bleeding into this. It'd be bad for both of them.

But they're both stubborn and more than a bit reckless and determined to prove the other wrong. (Yes, a healthier thing to do would be to cool their heads and call it a night and revisit the topic another time, but that's not the characters I'm writing lol.) So they try out some light impact play, probably spanking to keep it entry-level.

Long story short, I'm hoping this is the start of Jou learning the ropes when it comes to kink. Much like using his strength as a hitter for the team, it kinda gives him another way to recontextualize it for good. Or at least I hope it can be pulled off that way haha.

[totaldramafan-lauri]

You seem a bit down? Is everything fine in your end Lauri? I'm sorry if it comes as uncomfortable, I'm just a bit worried since there are verbal hints about you being so down and having anxiety lately? I'm really so sorry I'm just so worried about you.. please don't be too caught up on what's worrying you okay? If it helps you can say what it is but if not, that's totally fine! I just wish for you to feel better and someone to talk too.. sorry for that suggestion if it makes you uncomfortable too..

O-oh gosh....Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I swear, I didn't mean to worry anyone! I swear! >.<;

S-something did happen......b-but.....I.....I didn't wanna talk about it....I didn't wanna look like I was hating anyone.....B-but.....but.....OK....to calm you down, I'll give, like.....a very vague description of what my day's been like.....just.....to put this behind me....

S-so......three of my regulars - like, not just random followers, but regulars, people who were frequently interacting with me and liking my posts - unfollowed me today. One after the other, very quickly. I-it was the first time something like that's ever happened to me, since I haven't gotten much attention on my blog before this....

So...I...I didn't....t-take it very well. I....I had a bit of an emotional breakdown. Not just anxiety, but a whole breakdown.....I-I didn't know if I did anything wrong, or if it was just a c-coincidence, or what....b-but.....I spiraled, and couldn't stop panicking and crying for a while....

B-but....I also didn't wanna bother anyone while it was happening, so....I've been off Tumblr most of the day. I'm just coming back now....after recovering a bit, followed by that last ask from bracelet anon making me smile a lot.....

T-to be perfectly clear, I have nothing against any of those people. I'm very, very grateful to them for all they've done for me, and I'm sure they have their reasons. It's why I'm not naming usernames or anything. I'm not gonna be a jerk and call any of them out specifically. But....y-yeah....that's how my day's been.

Good news is, I'm doing a lot better now, and.....yeah, I NEVER intended to, like...give up, or anything like that. Not only do I still have anons here, like you, talking to me, and I know that very well....but also, thinking about and talking about Golden Cheese legitimately makes me feel better when I'm in a bad mood....Talking about her gets me in that excitable, Head Empty Heart Too Full headspace that I really need sometimes when I'm down....>///////< So....no matter what, I was gonna keep making posts for those willing to read them. Giving up on them would've made me feel worse.....So, there was never any concern over that, promise....!

I-I'm so, so sorry I worried you, anon! I-I really am! T-today's just been a rough day for me, for a reason that...p-probably doesn't look too bad to you.....! Th-this isn't a pity party, I'm doing better now, and....that's all I wanna say! We're gonna be, as the kids would say, "so back" very soon, prooooomise....! >.<;

[medicinal-doll]

Enough.

Title: Enough.

Daddy!Ransom drysdale x little!bratty!Reader

Words: 2k

Summary: You're sick and tired of Ransoms bullshit but he's not done with you yet

Warnings: ddlg themes, headspace switch, fluff, clit play,fingering,teasing,cursing,dom/sub dynamic

A/N: Writing this wiped me out and I dont know why (p.s. Thank you guys for liking my fics it means alot!)

*Please don't repost without permission If you use my writing as inspiration please ask first and credit me

..............

"You can't talk to me like this anymore!" you huff "I'm not just one of your little fucking dolls you can do what you want with ransom" you argue at your boyfriend while he stares at you with that nonchalant glare that he knows gets your blood boiling.

"Well, thats all good and fine doll but I dont remember telling you that you could fucking leave me"

"I'm done listening to you ransom" you turn around on your heels and storm out of the room.

"You wont get far~" he says in a sing song tone

"Shove it up your ass hugh!" you shout back

......

You find yourself at your apartment, and the fact that ransom bought it for you last year doesn't ease your anger. you sigh and slide down the wall filled to the brim with frustration. "God why does he have to be such A fucking dick all the time" you grumble.

In your wallowing you hear your phone buzz

"Hey girl!, where are you at?"

"Um... I'm at my apartment why?" you respond confused

"Are you seriously skipping out on my party!?" "I even said you could bring your rich asshole boyfriend "

Shit, you had forgotten all about her birthday party. the fight fogged up your thoughts so you didnt even get the chance to tell ransom about it.

"Yeah Um... No, I'll definitely be there don't worry" you say grabbing your keys and heading out the door.

"You better be...."

.........

"Hey!sorry I'm late" you embrace your friend in A warm hug.

"Girl don't even trip I'm just glad you made it"

"Hey where's your boyfriend?" She asks curiously

"Yeah about that I...."

"Right here!" ransom says waving a hand with sunglasses over his eyes. And his usual cocky smile, which normally would charm you but after the fight it makes your stomach turn.

Your stand there stunned with a surprised look on your face "oh and I got this for you" he hands her a flashy bag. probably containing some overpriced luxurious item "Can't forget the birthday girl" he says with A smile and your friend laughs "you know what ransom I knew you weren't so bad " your friend leaves to put her gift on the table.

Ransom meets your shocked eyes with an unreadable expression and the faintest tinge of a smile.

"Hey honey, did you miss me"

You scoff and walk off to find A drink. With ransom around, there's no way you're getting through this party sober.

You reach your hand towards the ladle to fill your red cup with the vodka punch. But ransom swoops up beside you grabbing the items from your hand, And makes your drink for you. He then he royally bows before offering the drink to you with both hands.

"My lady~" He says with a smirk and mischievous eyes

Your face scrunches up in annoyance "If you think this is gonna make up for this morning, you're dumber than you look"

You snatch the drink from his hands and walk off to another room

Ransom laughs to himself "there's my little grumpy bear..."

....

A short time later you find yourself in the living room leaning against the cream painted white walls, knee deep in a silly debate amongst friends.

Until you hear an ear catching clink ring out in the room.

As heads start to turn you smile in an excitement eager to hear the usual hilarious birthday speech.

Your eyes land on the speaker in question, and a sense of existential dread robs you of your mood and cheerful smile.

"Excuse me ladies, gentlemen" "and birthday girl" ransom gestures to your friend.

"I only require your attention for a few quick moments" he says as he slowly inches closer towards you, and you instinctively mold your back against the wall fearing what ransom has to say.

"My love" he leans down and kisses your hand, but you feel awkward when he doesn't let go "These past years we've been together have been absolutely beautiful"

"And with that I only have one thing to say"

Ransom gets down on one knee and you feel your spirit leave your body from the embarrassment.

"Honey will you marry me"

"I think I'm gonna be sick" you say to yourself then rush out of the room running upstairs into the first bathroom and puke your guts out in the toilet.Shortly after you hear footsteps then feel A presence behind you.

Comforting hands find themselves grabbing your hair holding it away from your face, While a soothing hand rubs small circles along your back.

When you get done spilling your guts you're drained mentally and physically. Between being mad at ransom,attending the party, and throwing up. your energy was gone, with your brain out of order for the rest of the evening.

"You're alright sweetie you're okay "ransom says in that caring tone reserved only to you his little girl. you feel your mental state start to slip ,so you turn around and cling onto ransom wrapping your hands around his neck and hiding your face in his shoulder curling up into him.

"Cmon princess let's get you home and get you cleaned up

You nod silently into him feeling too small to talk.

Ransom understands this and how you can go mute when you're feeling especially tiny, and he picks you up carrying you downstairs.

"Hey ransom what the hell was that" your friend questions and you squeeze tighter onto him. Ransom just rolls his eyes and her eyes land on you "Hey you okay girl?" ransom does not have the patience for this questioning in general, but his short temper drops to almost nothing when it comes to caring for his babygirl.

"She's fine" "thanks for the party" ransom answers shortly before storming out the front door to his ridculousy expensive car.

Not even 5 minutes into the car ride you're out like a light head bobbing up and down, drool threatening to spill from your pouty lips and ransom has a warm hand on your leg as he admires your cuteness.

You reach home and now its ransoms favourite part, waking you up. you're so bratty when woken up from a nap. you just get the nastiest little attitude just cause you're sleepy. It's like you turn into A little ransom jr. with your potty mouth.

"Gorgeous wake up we're home" ransom gently shakes your body, and you frown turning your face away from him snuggling more into the seatbelt. ransom sighs and unbuckles you "Cmon princess be good and let daddy take care of you"

"No...." you pout to yourself ransom laughs finding your behaviour cute and picks you up bridal style softly cooing at you so you dont throw a fit and heads inside.

.......

Ransom sits on the stool in the bathroom with you sleepily tucked in his strong arms, while the warm bath water runs with your favorite soap and bath bomb to entice you in.

"Time to get undressed little one" ransom says as he grabs the hem of your dress slowly lifting it up you squirm away and try to push his hands off you with what little strength you have.

"Be good..." Ransom says in A warning tone but that only rouses you from your sleepy state even further. Gaining some of your big girl strength back you struggle against his prying hands with more vigor.

"Ow!" Ransom delivers A harsh slap to your backside which make you regress back into little girl space, and you sniffle softly as ransom removes your clothing.

After your pink panties hit the floor ransom stands with you in his arms and goes to set you in the warm water "Daddy no!" You cling onto his neck for dear life and ransom giggles silently to himself "glad to see you're finally awake honeybun" "but you gotta get in the bath so daddy can get you all clean okay pretty girl" your fight leaves your body at his praises but you still hold onto him.

"Baby" his voice darkens and you quietly tremble at the change of his tone

"You've been pretty fucking bratty to your owner today" he says as he threateningly caresses your bum "All that big girl mouth you gave to me this morning and at the party" he places a kiss to your temple and lowers his mouth to your ear "So don't take my kindness as forgiveness honey your still gonna get your punishment"

Your eyes widen at the buzzword " No papa! Not A punishment anything but that!"

You whine into his shoulder "M'sorry" ransom comfortingly pats your butt

"Well then you can start by getting in the bath like your daddy told you to hun" you whimper and slowly lower a leg down into the bubbly warm water and ransom follows your movement by slowly easing you down into the tub.

You give into the warm sensation and instantly relax "close your eyes baby" ransom fills a cup with the warm water with a fresh rosy aroma and delicately pours it over your head, you look up at ransom with innocent eyes "Daddy... Are you mad at me?" you question as he scrubs your back being suprisingly careful with you, ransom pauses for a second in thought..

"You know I'll always love you honey no matter how hard of a time you give me" ransom leans in and peppers your face with kisses and you giggle.

You tilt your head in confusion as he reaches for something from the counter.

He holds the toothbrush in front of your face and squeezes the minty paste onto the bristles "open up for me hun" you slightly part your mouth and ransom sticks the toothbrush in, bristles slowly gliding over your teeth.

When ransoms done, he grabs a cup and begins filling it with water then holds it to your face "swish this around and spit it back in the cup for me dolly"

you follow his instructions swishing the liquid around before letting it all go back into the cup "good girl" he ruffles your wet hair, then ransom pulls the bath stopper from the tub and turns his attention back to you.

"Alright cutie arms up" you lift them and ransom wraps the baby pink towel snug against your form, and picks you up.you lean into him as water from your hair drips onto his shirt.

........

Ransom sits down on the edge of the bed with you in his lap. a few minutes pass as your eyes flutter open and closed every now and then. until you feel A hand grab a hold of the soft flesh of your thigh and roughly part your legs. you look at ransom in curiosity and go to speak but A firm hand clasps itself around your mouth.

Ransoms fingers dance around your inner thigh inching dangerously close to your princess parts "Daddy?" You try to say but it gets muffled by ransoms big hand "Shhh princess, you didn't think I'd forgotten about you punishment did you?" ransoms fingers brush over your clit and an indescribable chill runs up your spine and you whimper.

"I know you're tired baby so daddy's gonna take it easy on you" he starts moving his index finger in slow circles around the hood of your clit and you try to shake his hand from your mouth, but it's not budging "All I need is A sincere apology from you hun" "And daddy's gonna play with your little girl button until he gets it, okay sweetness?" He removes his hand from your mouth panting lightly ,and you yelp when he pinches your clit between his fingers "I wanted an answer to that baby"

"yes daddy..." you whimper softly and he slaps your clit "Ah!" You cry out "louder doll I couldnt hear you" "Yes! Papa!" You whine and hide your face in to his shoulder softly breathing in his intoxicating cologne "Good girl, Now tell daddy how sorry you are for your behaviour today" he says as he rolls your clit between his thumb and index finger

"Daddy I'm sorry..." he pauses his motions "for what honey" he says blankly

"F-for...um.." "Ah!" Another harsh slap hits your clit and ransom speeds his fingers up rubbing your clit at a mind numbing pace "Silly little girl doesn't even know what she's apologizing for" you barely hear what he is saying as your eyes water at the pleasure between your legs.

ransom senses this and leans his head down to your ear and speaks to you in that low dominant voice he knows gets you worked up "Babydoll.." your ears perk up "If you cum before I get my apology, I'll beat your ass red and raw till you scream how sorry you are" "Daddy doesn't have to do that right? Or is someone still feeling disobedient....."

"No! I'll say it please..." he slows down his ministrations and you sniffle "Go on honey, daddys listening"

"M'sorry daddy"

"For?" He questions

"F-for being A bad girl and being bratty to you"

"Aww see hun, that wasn't so bad was it" he wipes the tear that threatens to fall from your eye and kisses your head "daddy forgives you bunny...." ransom says as he dives two thick fingers into your juicy cunt and starts moving them up towards your g spot, and you scream "Daddy!" As you moan in pleasure and involuntarily writhe your body against him.

Ransoms fingers brush up against A certain sensitive spot and your mind goes blank "Ah- No! I said it daddy you promised!!" You sob into his shoulder "You were so naughty for me baby" He coos as he glides his fingers over that place sparking fireworks in your belly "trying to leave your daddy baby why honey"

You slip further into your small state as high pitched moans leave your mouth head too fuzzy to respond "Has daddy not been nice enough to you hm?" "Maybe I need to start babying you more honey"

Your walls clamp down on his fingers as you mutter his name again and again in a trance of pleasure "Cmon sweet girl cum for daddy so I can put you to bed" Ransom adds A third finger into your soaked pussy and rubs your clit in small circles with the other.

"Go on honey give daddy your orgasm, drench my hands and lap with that little princess cunt"

"Its not a princess cunt!" You whine at him feeling bratty again from his teasing "Aw baby yes it is, it's so wet and so tiny all for me" he lifts your head up to kiss your face, you blush and shy away from him hiding in his shoulder again to pout.

Ransom brushes over your clit one last time, and you bite down on his shoulder to muffle A loud cry as your body convulses around him. ransom runs a soothing hand up and down your waist slowly coaxing you through your orgasm, and slows down his fingers inside of you.

when your breath stills and you stop shaking ransom takes his fingers out of you with A pop. you lift your head up to look at him, and you see him lick every last drop of your cum from his fingers like it's his last meal. Then he delivers A sickeningly sweet kiss to your lips, but you pull away and look down in guilt.

"what is it darling" he asks as he rocks you gently back and forth "M'not ready to get married..." you look up at him through your bambi lashes, and he just laughs recalling the events from a few hours ago.

"I wasn't serious hun, I know you're not ready to marry me yet" "Would be nice though" he kisses your cheek as your expression fills with uncertainty "then why did you propose in front of all those people?"

"I dont know, I guess I thought that it would make you change your mind about leaving...."

"You made yourself look like a fool for me?" You quirk up at him and Ransom laughs giving you the gentlest kiss on your lips "Over and over again doll" he whispers to you.

"You got the spoiled little rich boy wrapped around your finger" he sighs and you giggle

"I was never gonna leave you daddy, I was just tired of you bossing me around all the time..."

"I'm sorry angel, you want me to stop babying you so much?"

You giggle at him and kiss his nose

"No daddy, I'll always be your little girl" you smile at him and he grins right back at you "Okay doll, time for bed" Ransom places one last kiss on your forehead before picking you up leaving the room to get his girl in her pj's and tucked into bed.

[kiankiwi]

maybe baby aus after having a bad day? like aus is cranky until we get home and when baby sees us he gets so happy and he immediately drops to his youngest headspace and baby gets so happy and giggly

Austin was having a horrible day. First, poor thing woke up with a crick in his neck, then a car splashed mud on his favorite pants and then an interviewer asked inappropriate questions about you, his fiance and caregiver. So he went to his publicist, Mandy, one of the few people who knew about his regression and asked her to "call mama?" to come get him because he was teetering too far and didn't trust himself to get himself home without slipping.

Mandy took one look at Austin's grumpy, pouty face and dialed you up, explaining that Austin was in a very bad mood and was about to drop and he needed you. While Mandy was on the phone with you, Austin found a corner to sit in and stew in his anger, just waiting for his favorite person while sitting with his knees tucked against his chest.

You knew he was definitely in a bad mood since he didn't even crack a smile when you two locked eyes. But at least he got himself off the floor and trudged over to you, leaning his head down to place it comfortingly on your shoulder. You just swayed him a bit, placing your hand on the back of his neck, allowing him a minute of comfort. You didn't speak until he pulled away, still looking mad as hell.

"Mandy told me you were being a cranky butt?" You asked. He just pouted at you but you gestured for him to go on. "What happened, lovie?" Austin pushed his pouty lip out, stamping his feet on the ground, "Talking bad about mommy. Made me angy." You nodded, reaching up to run your fingertips through his curls. "Yeah? I love you for being protective of me, bubs." Austin just pushed his pouty lip farther out and crossed his arms, looking down. He just wanted to go home and have a big cry about this disaster of a day.

"Mommy, can we go home now?" Austin is really impatient and grumpy. He really just wants to be alone with you to be comforted. You nod, grabbing his things. "Thanks Mandy for letting me know. I'll take care of him." She nods. "Yeah, just call me when he's better and out of headspace so I can line up our schedule again." You nod pulling him out the door and to the car. "Noted, thank you."

As soon as you get Austin in the car, he sends you a deadly glare and his glares only get worse when he realizes you're not going straight home. "Baby, why are you glaring at me? I'm not the one you're mad at." He knew that, he was just mad at the whole world right now and he needed a good cry and a good nap.

"Mama, home's that way." He points out the window, dropping his glare to give you a confused look. "I know baby, we have to stop at the store first." Austin was not happy about that at all. He stamped his feet in the foot boards of the car and arched his back in the seat, screeching and yelling at the ceiling. "Austin Robert! I know you're having a shit day but that doesn't give you the okay to act like this, you hear me?" Austin either chooses not to listen to you or can't hear you over his screams.

He's screaming so loud that you just bypass the store all together and go straight for home to get Austin settled.

"Baby. Baby, look where we are, hm?" Austin starts crying only long enough to notice you're back at the apartment. "We're home baby. What do you say we go upstairs and have a cuddle? Hmm?" Austin starts crying again, nodding. Yeah, he really wants to go upstairs and snuggle with his mama with his blankie and his stuffie. "Y-yeah." He whimpers. "Okay baby, c'mon."

When you get upstairs to your apartment, Austin is still weepy so you decide to just hold him and let him cry because that seems to be what he needs to do.

"It's okay baby, you're just fine, lovebug." You bring Austin into the nursery and lay him on the changing table. He reaches up and wipes the tear trails and snot from his face as you pick out a onesie for him to wear. "Baby, do you want to wear the foxes or the strawberries?" Referring to the print all over the two onesies you picked out of his closet.

Sniffling, Austin points to the strawberries. "Good choice, love." You make the change quick and pick him up, holding him. As he sobs on your shoulder you decide to walk laps in the living room. Bouncing him every so often and shushing him at the same time. "I know, lovebug. Oh so sad. Mama knows." You can feel Austin sucking on the shoulder of your shirt just to comfort himself as he watches the room over your shoulder. You pull at the curls on the back of his head, you both love the feeling of your hand in his hair.

You bounce and rock and pace with Austin and it takes 35 minutes of walking before he finally goes heavy in your arms. He finally fell asleep. "Finally. You just needed a cry, mister." You lay him down on the couch, kissing him on both sticky cheeks and his forehead, hoping he'll sleep for at least an hour because his body needs that break.

An hour and a half later, you're reading in the chair opposite Austin when you notice him pick his head up off the couch and look at you, his red eyes still a bit swollen. "Hi baby, you sleep good?" He nods silently. "Yeah, do you feel better?" He nods, shifting his eyes away from yours. "I'm sorry I was a bad boy." You shrug. "You're okay baby, we figured it out. Now we can start over." He points in the direction of the nursery. "Can I get my Moo-Moo?" Referring to his stuffed cow that a friend got him. "Yeah, go get your moo-moo bubs."

Smiling for the first time all day, he jumps off the couch and toddles to his nursery to get his friend.

*

I already have another Grumpy Aus fic in mind where he's nonverbal and only speaks in glares ! Hope you enjoyed this one though

@ellie-24 @mooodyblue @plasticfantasticl0ver

[alwaysthesitter]

I'm in a really bad headspace right now. Had a rough weekend at the convention for several reasons, and it seems to have leaked into it the days coming home (just got home yesterday, so of course convention bullshit is going to keep coming up. I'm giving it a week before it goes away honestly).

I'm just tired of people being so.....immature and not being adults. I was talking to a friend all day like we regularly have for the last 6 years, then suddenly she made a post that she was upset and when I checked in on her, she said she wasn't and didn't want to talk about it and no longer wanted to room with me for the next two cons we're attending. She keeps saying it's "just that simple and nothing deep" but I'm like.....uhhhhh. Because screwing me over like that is....not that simple.

I have this feeling that someone told her something about me, and instead of being an adult about it and talking to me about it, she's cutting me off entirely. Because I didn't do much at con other than sleep and spend time with friends and shop, and I definitely was NOT the one causing shit all weekend (trust me on that, oof). Like she won't just ask me about it or get my perspective, or even talk to me about why the sudden shift? Or what she heard? Which would be the civil thing to do. Like, let's talk it out. I don't even know why she's mad.

So yeah, not in the best mood. I'm feeling in a really dark place. I'm financially screwed over by this (again, shock). I'm anxious af because my friend won't talk to me like an adult and allow me to figure out what's happening or resolve anything. I am an adult, I like having resolution to conflict instead of this "he said, she said" bullshit. So yeah. If I'm short tonight, or not responding to things, or seem really resolved it's because I'm feeling horrible. I just want to catch a break, man. I'm exhausted.

[pararennial-archived]

*‵ ･ ze frank voice: that's how a chilla do ･ ′

Name / Alias: Chilla as in chinchilla lol

Are you over 18?

Yes / No

WRITING.

Are you selective about who you write with?

No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

I only write threads with mutuals, but the non-mutuals who I'm cool with can interact with the light, silly dash comm stuff!

Are you selective about who you follow?

No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon?

Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable.

She's an OC, baby! She's got her own canon and I have a vision!

What post lengths do you write?

One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella / All of the aforementioned.

Do you use icons and/or GIFS?

No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms?

No / Yes

What level of plots do you write?

Unplotted/ Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the mentioned

I just love continuity and stories between characters, but I am realistic about time and commitment and can be flexible. I just hate purposeless and aimless stuff.

How quickly do you usually respond to threads?

Very Slow (more than a month) /Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days)

It depends on my mood and whether I feel like I am in a good headspace to write.

What types of themes do you like?

Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst/ Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned

Yeah, romance will be an extremely rare thing because I created a canon endgame for Roxy and also... romantic attraction is sorta... an iffy thing for Roxy. More on that later.

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? ( Feel free to add!)

High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / All of the aforementioned

Are there any themes you're uncomfortable writing on your blog? (Not triggers)

No / Yes / Sometimes

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged?

They are more visual triggers that make me genuinely upset like rl g.ore, images of self-mutiliation or self-harm, uncanny valley kind of stuff (again it depends on how I am feeling? It's hard to explain but anything to do with unsettling stares makes me nope so hard).

SHIPPING.

What types of relationships are you open to?

Romantic / Platonic / Familial / Enemies / All of the aforementioned

I feel like nowadays dynamics are too oversimplified and lacking complexity. Yes I like friendships, familial, enemies (muses having beef makes everything extra juicy), etc. I feel like I cannot really encompass a lot of the other stuff I crave so I figured I needed to say a little something about it. Also, if romance happens, it'll be very slow burn and I do not ever autoship my character. Ever.

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to?

Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

I don't do pre-established relationships anymore, my writing and my character shine when there are no expectations and just growth through interactions. In short, it's better to fuck around and find out.

Do you have OTPs?

No / Chemistry Only / Yes /

Well, I did create Maciu for Roxy... and for the mutual who's heard me talk about stupid shit about this goofy, loveable himbo, then yeah... that's the OTP.

Do you have NOTPS?

No / Yes / hmmm.

Well... I'm not into forced romances... especially with super hetero m/f ships because it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth when people assume that any sort of positive relationship that Roxy has with a non-blood related man means that they are going to get together. Also... because I had to deal with such grossness in the past around Roxy's asexuality, I literally had to write a post to get people to act right and draw the line with her.

What is your muse's sexual orientation?

Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out

What is your muse's romantic orientation?

Heteroromantic/ Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you're asking.

Are you comfortable writing smut?

No / VERY Selectively / Yes

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically?

Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never / If it happens it happens

Are you open to toxic ships?

No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

I hate that I feel like I need to explain myself a lot, but up to the point with Roxy's character development, I feel like it's less likely she's gonna land herself in toxic relationships with people because she's been there and done that. She's not afraid to put anybody on their asses if they try her patience. And this is by no means me saying that victims are too weak-willed or cannot stand up for themselves. It's more that as soon as Roxy catches onto any sort of fuckery it's over, no exceptions. But toxic relationships don't have to be romantic, sometimes it takes one person to negatively influence your life if you allow them access. That would be interesting, but I don't want to romanticize that.

Are you open to problematic ships?

No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure This is too broad, but I will say that I have no inclination to write abuse in romance, definitely not age gaps where minors are involved, no to inc*st, anything to do with sexual abuse or r*pe, curing the racist/bigot plots, etc.

Are you open to polyshipping?

No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

I mean IF that happens!

Are you an exclusive shipper?

Never / Sometimes / Yes / I would be open to discuss it

I mean, if a ship outside of Roxy's canon actually happens! I went 10 years without a ship here, if that isn't a testament to Roxy's "fickle" demiromanticism, I don't know what is! Canon x OC, or OC x OC, if it happens, let's talk!

Does crack shipping ever happen?

Nope / Yes / depends

My friends, once again, this shit has never happened in all my years here lmfao!

Tagged by: @ama-tcra-su

Tagging: anybody

[thedo0zyslider]

Explosions Across Lifetimes - Chapter Twelve: Friends Again? - 5k Words

There's a lot of talking to do the next morning, and Jimmy is glad to revolves some things in the end.

A03 Link

Playlist

Jimmy was at the healer's shack as soon as he woke up that morning, knocking on the front door before the haze of sleep had even left him. He wasn’t expecting the door to be opened really, since he woke up at an ungodly hour to most people, but Hemlock was there regardless. He opened the door for Jimmy with a smile, and let the Codfather in without protest. He vaguely remembered something about Hemlock's own sleep schedule, and that it was just as weird as the Codfather’s was.

The blonde smiled back as he walked past, making a beeline for Scott’s room. He'd been the most worried about the elf all night. The cod hadn’t been worried about Gem, because she had Fwhip; and he was sure her brother would smack any stupid thoughts out of her head. Scott didn’t really have anyone truly, and he probably sat there all night thinking he deserved to be alone and tortured.

He opened the door gently, to find Scott sitting up in bed again, much like he had been the first time Jimmy came for a visit. Rivendell’s ruler looked over at him, a small smile of greeting spreading across his face.

"Good morning." Scott muttered quietly.

"Mornin'" Jimmy nodded. "Have you eaten anything yet?" He asked, now standing beside the footboard.

"Yeah, a little." The elf nodded. "They asked me all sorts of questions though."

"Like what?" Jimmy asked, sensing a little irritation in the other's tone.

"Like how much we were starved and stuff." Scott responded, then gave Jimmy a sharp glance. "And I know they have to slowly reintroduce food to me, it's just frustrating is all." The elves' words had the same kind of vibe they had the day before, and Jimmy knew instantly what was up.

"You don't think you deserve to be taken care of like this, huh?" He sighed, giving Scott the most tired look he could muster. Which wasn’t hard for it being early in the morning. Scott didn't have a response to that, and flicked his gaze away. Instead he just muttered something about how it was a little mean to show him fresh food, his first in days, then tell him he has to wait to eat it. The Codfather had to wonder if Gem was being so mopey, or if the elf had just woken up in a sour mood. The latter seemed far more likely.

"Ya feeling better?" Jimmy asked after a moment. "Pain-wise, I mean."

"I still have some bruises, but they fixed everything major." Scott said, his voice a little more friendly than it had been a moment ago. "I'm too warm here though." He muttered, and Jimmy felt suddenly bad.

"Sorry about that.” The blonde winced. He’d been so focused on getting Scott to safety, he hadn’t even realized the temperature might be bothering him, or making him feel sick. Scott shrugged, as if to say it was fine, and Jimmy had to assume it would be. If the healers hadn’t cooled the room already, and Scott left after today, then it probably was fine. Though maybe that was the anxiety talking, because Jimmy again knew nothing about how Scott’s magic worked. For all he knew, he was just worrying over nothing, and the other ruler would only just be mildly uncomfortable

Scott patted the sheets next to him, and Jimmy sat down a little hesitantly. "We still need to talk about things, don't we?" He muttered, and Scott nodded in conformation. The cod just blinked, and prepared himself for….whatever the hell they were about to discuss.

“I wanna say sorry,” Scott began slowly, gaze now fixed firmly out the window. “For the last time we talked. I wasn’t in a good headspace and was probably a little rude to you. Oh, and I was definitely rude to Fwhip, so I’m sorry to him as well.”

“I don’t think any of us were in a good headspace so it’s fine, really. I get it man.” Jimmy added, remembering how he’d thrown around an old nickname at their last meeting. Yeah, that had been a bit of dick move, he had to admit.

Scott nodded in acknowledgement. “Just wanted to apologize for it. It felt wrong not to.”

“I appreciate it.” Jimmy smiled gently at him, a smile the elf did not return. His face stayed in a neutral expression, and his hands fiddled with the sheets a little nervously. “I think I figured out some stuff over the last four days…” He muttered after a moment, and Jimmy’s earlier curiosity rose a little.

“Oh? Like what?” He asked, letting a long pause fall between them afterwards.

“How I feel about you, for starters.”

Yep, saw that one coming. Jimmy thought, cringing internally. They had to have this conversation at some point, and the cod started to prepare himself for the worst.

“I don’t love you. Not like you love Fwhip. That was some weird love and some weird glimpses of another time, I think. I haven't loved you for months now.”

“Well that’s good, or else this would be really awkward.” The blonde let out a sigh of relief at that, tension leaving his shoulders.

Scott himself looked a little relieved by the admission. “I think I was clinging onto those feelings too, after the end battle, after we stopped talking. They made me feel better, I guess, and nothing else was making me feel happy then. I convinced myself we were on a break, or something, and that you still loved me back.” He explained, wings folded tightly against his back. The elves' voice was calm, but all his body language revealed how hard this conversation was for him. Honestly, Jimmy wasn't having the easiest time either, especially after that last part.

The cod took a minute to collect his thoughts, and Scott waited for him to speak in the slightly tense silence. “Even after I told you, verbatim, ‘I don’t think this is gonna work out?’” He asked, voice almost a whisper.

“Yeah.” Scott confirmed, a small, humorless smile creeping its way onto his features. “I guess I was really desperate for escapism, huh?”

“How’d you feel…when the rumors about me and Fwhip started?” Jimmy asked a moment later. The question felt a little too personally really, but something inside him wanted to know. Had to know. “Horrible." Scott chuckled humorlessly again. "Like my world was shattering, but also like I could finally stop lying to myself.” The elf took one look at Jimmy, then immediately added, “Don’t apologize, that was my own fault.”

Jimmy, who had a “ sorry about that” locked and ready to go, just nodded. If Scott was admitting some hard things today, then so was he.

“I think I loved him for a while.” The blonde mumbled, now being the one to cast his gaze out the window. “Even when I was with you. Just didn’t know it was all.”

“Kinda figured that out a while ago.” Scott smiled at him, his legs now idly swinging off the side of the bed.

He turned his gaze back to Scott. "Really? How?” The question was a quiet murmur, and Scott answered with a smile and words just as quiet.

“Because of how you look at him. Because that’s the way I used to look at you, when I thought you were my world.”

Jimmy blinked a few times, then smiled. He wasn’t expecting such…such well, heartfelt words from the elf. But Scott was right, he guessed he did look at Fwhip like that. Because he is, isn't he? My world. My wither rose.

“That look doesn’t come from just a crush does it?” He muttered, expression a little lighter than it had been a few minutes ago.

Scott’s face was lighter too, and he giggled back. “Nah, usually not.”

“Can I ask something now?” Scott mumbled, after they had exchanged a few more laughs. Jimmy nodded, not expecting the rather heavy question he received.

“Why didn’t you find us sooner?’

The Codfather just blinked. He didn’t know how to word this, but he had to do so carefully. Jimmy didn’t want to demonize any of his friends in any way. They had been frustrating to deal with over the past few days, sure, but they had also been worried . "I wanted to look in Mythland from the start." He began, wringing his hands together. "A few people agreed with me, but most of us were scared."

"Scared?" Scott asked. Jimmy nodded.

"Scared to find both of you dead, I guess. Didn't want to believe Sausage, or even Joey, could do something like that. Scared to lose more of us in the process." Jimmy explained it slowly, pausing at multiple points to consider his words. He was pretty sure his old frustration was leaking through regardless. He wasn’t going to elaborate further if Scott didn’t want him too, fresh memories of arguments with Fwhip and a few others already springing back to the front of his mind. Describing the past four days as simply rough would be a big understatement.

“ Oh .” Scott just mumbled, and didn’t say anything more on the matter.

“We should probably tell them you’re back now.” Jimmy jumped on the next topic he could think of. If Scott wanted to let the previous one die, he was more than happy to go along with it.

The Codfather reached for his communicator, feeling around blindly in his pocket until he found it. The electronic buzzed in his hands as soon as he had hold of it, surprising the blonde. The thing buzzed a few more times in rapid succession, startling Jimmy so much he almost dropped it. There was a small sticker beside him, and his eyes flicked over to Scott.

The elf had his own communicator in his hands as well, and Jimmy had to wonder where the hell he'd even pulled it out from. He rolled his eyes, and flicked them back down towards the screen in his hands. It seemed Scott had messaged the others before he and Fwhip could. That was probably the best way to break the news anyways, because he was sure Fwhip would've just jumped to the almost dying part by accident.

Smajor1995: hey guys

Katherineeliz: SCOTT???

Shubble: OMG?? HII

LDShadowlady: are you okay???

Pearlescentmoon: IS GEM WITH YOU?

fWhip: yeah she's here

GeminiTay: hi guys

SmallishBeans: thank cod

Pixlriffs: are you two okay? genuinely

SolidarityGaming: yeah they're fine

SolidarityGaming: found em in mythland yesterday and brought em to the cod empire for healing

Pearlescentmoon: why didn't you tell us??

fWhip: because you would've crowded around the healers while they did their job idk

GeminiTay: we kinda needed immediate medical attention

GeminiTay: also don't be rude fwhip

Smajor1995: by "we" she probably means just me

Pixlriffs: fwhip has a point there

LDShadowlady: how badly were you two hurt???

fWhip: I feel like we should have a meeting to discuss all that

SmallishBeans: that’s a good idea actually

Pixlriffs: when should we have it? And where?

Shubble: also scott and gem are you two healed enough??

Smajor1995: Meeting today. At Katherine’s. As soon as possible.

fWhip:…..uhhh okay..?

Pearlescentmoon: Kath you good with that?

Katherineeliz: yeah that’s fine! :]

Jimmy blinked, looking over at Scott. The elf’s grip on his communicator had tightened, so much so the cod freaked he would crack the screen. He reached over slowly, placing a hand on Scott’s arm. The other’s gaze wiped towards him at lightning speed, eyes wide and almost….fearful. Jimmy blinked again, and hesitantly moved his hand away.

“Sorry..” Scott mumbled, snapping out of it a moment later. “It-It’s just Katherine told me once the corruption doesn’t like her magic. The Overgrown wards it away or something.” He stammered, letting his communicator fall beside him on the bed. Jimmy’s own was put back into his pocket, the device no longer buzzing. “They can’t…they can’t get us at Katherine’s”

Jimmy nodded, understanding it suddenly. House Blossom was familiar, it was safe. And it was right next to Rivendell and the Crystal Cliffs. They couldn’t be taken again if they were safe, surely.

The Codfather just smiled slowly after that. “Well, you said as soon as possible, so we better leave within the hour, huh?” Glancing outside, Jimmy could see that it was almost eight thirty, and the flight to Katherine’s could take just over an hour on a bad day. And would probably take longer, assuming they’d skirt around Mythland and the Jungle.But that was if Scott was well enough to fly, and Jimmy was sure he was, but the anxiety still gnawed at the back of his mind regardless.

“I should probably change out of these clothes first…” The elf mumbled, looking down at the shirt currently on his back.

"Where’d Gem put your outfit again?" The cod asked, eyes scanning the room briefly.

"It's in that chair over there." Scott said, nodding to said chair, the one sitting in the corner of the room. Jimmy hummed in response, having forgotten that they'd thrown the garments over at some point the night before.

He stood, walking over and grabbing the elf’s usual attire. When Jimmy turned back to the bed, he saw that Scott seemed a little reluctant to stand. That made sense, to him at least. He didn’t think the two prisoners had done much walking in those tiny jail cells, other than maybe some pacing on the first day or so. Gem had been walking fine the other day, but she also hadn't had a leg injury.

He lended a hand to the elf, and Scott gripped it tightly as he stood properly for the first time in almost five days. Scott took his outfit with a smile, and playfully shooed Jimmy out of the room; making some comment about not seeing him undressing or whatever. The Codfather smiled, happy to see the elf more and more like his normal self. Or more prepared to put on a mask again.

Jimmy was going to walk down the hallway, to check on Gem, when the wizard almost ran into him first. “Oh! Jimmy, sorry about that!” She apologized, The Codfather stumbling to a halt in front of her.

“It’s all good!” Jimmy laughed, flashing a wide smile at her. Gem gave him one of her own, adjusting her hat atop her head. “How’s Scott?” She asked, glancing past him and towards the elf’s room.

“He’s doing fine, I think. He’s changing right now.” Jimmy responded, following her gaze. “We just had a long talk…so he might be a bit, um, sour .” He mumbled, reflecting on the elf’s mood at the start of their conversation.

“Wasn’t too bad of a talk, hopefully.” Gem commented, studying him a bit.

“It went better than I thought it would.” The blonde muttered, gaze set on Scott’s door for another moment, and Gem’s almost overprotective one searing into the back of his neck. He turned, keeping a neutral look on his face, and asked where Fwhip had run off too.

“He said he needed some fresh air.” Gem told him. “Check by the docks maybe? He likes watching the water sometimes.” She pushed past him, not impolitely, to go knock on Scott’s door. Jimmy said nothing, just walked out of the healers building, hands shoved in his pockets.

Gem was right, her twin was at the docks, watching the water. Fwhip stood there, tail lazily flicking against the wooden planks, eyes focused on the ocean. In the distance you could see the Ocean Empire, the Prisma Palace hidden by a thin layer of fog. Jimmy wondered where his sister was at the moment, and if she’d already set out for the meeting yet, or if she was trying to drag Joel out of building something. The latter seemed far more likely.

He moved to stand next to Fwhip, and the Count glanced at him. He pulled the cod closer with a wing and smiled. “Hey, good morning.”

“Morning, you just wake up?” Jimmy asked, noting the slightly messy hair his partner had that morning. Fwhip hummed in confirmation, “Like forty minutes ago or something. Stayed with Gem all night.”

“I expected as much.” He muttered flatly.

“Can you blame me?” Fwhip raised an eyebrow at him.

“No,” Jimmy sighed. “I wanted to stay with you, or keep Scott company, but I didn't think it’d be appreciated.” He explained, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“You sound like you just talked to him.” The Count commented, studying Jimmy’s face. The cod just grumbled quietly. “Yeah, we resolved some stuff. Pretty sure he still blames himself for everything. Literally everything.”

“He’s stupid.” Fwhip hissed, frustration leaking out of his tone, balling his fists together as well.

“Tell me about it.” The Cod grumbled, letting Fwhip’s wing pull him closer. They stood less than an inch apart now, and he gave into the urge to lay his head on the half dragon’s shoulder. He had to lean down a little uncomfortably to do it, but it was worth it in his opinion. Fwhip just gave a huff of fondness.

“We’re in public, remember?” His partner muttered, suspiciously close, like he was trying to lean down and give him a kiss or something cute like that. He felt the wing wrap around him tight, and the other’s tail intertwine with his own.

“Do you mind it?” He asked, ready to pull away if the answer was yes.

“Too tired to care.” The Count huffed, and Jimmy had forgotten it took that man like, an hour to wake up. Instead of pulling away, he buried his head into Fwhip’s scarf, taking in the warmth and the familiar, now almost comforting, smell of ash. A kiss was indeed pressed to the top of his head a moment later, and Jimmy smiled triumphantly into the fabric.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying their first truly quiet moment together in what felt like years. Jimmy watched the sea, the water rippling, and smiled when he caught a glimpse of cod swimming past. Fwhip didn’t have a noticeable reaction to the fish like he used to, and the Codfather took that as a good thing. A great thing even.

Gem’s voice shattered the moment a little while after, just as his people started really getting into their daily routines. “Fwhip!” She called her twin’s name, presumably on her way to the docks that very moment. “Scott’s getting antsy! Grab Jimmy if you see him!”

“On it!” Fwhip called over his shoulder, and Jimmy unburied his face as slowly as he could. The Count placed one more kiss to his head, before folding his wing against his back again. Jimmy untangled their tails, and started down the path. He’d shoot Caleb or another council member a message on the walk back, in case he still had something scheduled for that day. He also made a mental note to give the other two another healing potion before leaving, just to be on the safe side.

Fwhip walked beside him, one hand in his coat pocket, and the other slipping into Jimmy’s. He squeezed gently, claws digging into the cod’s palm gently, and Jimmy squeezed back. They let go again before meeting up with Gem.

As Jimmy expected, they reached House Blossom in over an hour. They’d taken the easiest route Gem could think of, one that was comfortable for her and Scott. They’d leave the Cod Empire through its shared, yet smaller border with Pixandria, and would avoid Mythland by braving the unclaimed land around it. After that they’d traveled through Pearl’s strong holding for the final leg of the journey. Fwhip argued they could’ve gone through Spawn, but both Scott and Gem agreed Spawn wasn’t safe, that it was neutral ground and therefore Sausage or Joey could get them there. Pearl and Sausage might be best friends, but the farmer would kick his ass if he tried anything in her empire, without a doubt.

They were definitely the last four to arrive at the meeting, and once they reached House Blossom’s castle Gem was hurrying them towards the usual meeting room. Jimmy grumbled as she did so, almost tripping over his own tail in the process. But they maneuvered through the halls quickly, and Fwhip was opening the grand doors in what felt like no time at all.

Six heads swiveled in their direction as the doors swung open, Jimmy and Fwhip walking in first. Gem entered right behind them, while Scott shuffled in a little hesitantly, as if he was scared of what their friends would say to him. “GEM!” Pearl yelled as soon as she laid eyes on the wizard, moving to stand up and greet them, and a few others followed suit. She was only beaten by House Blossom ruler herself.

Katherine stood from her chair swiftly, the legs of it clattering against the ground as she roughly let it fall to the side. She ran forward quickly, and managed to wrap both Scott and Gem in a hug. Gem, a little stunned, returned the embrace quickly. Scott just stood there limply, yet clearly leaning into the touch. Pearl waited for her turn anxiously, right next to Fwhip, while Jimmy felt the unmistakable bump of his seablings own tail against his, of scales brushing against scales.

He bumped her back instantly, the exchange being something they came up with thousands of years ago, an easy way to confirm the other was there, that their sibling was still safe. They didn’t use it much now, because until recently they hadn’t been in much shared danger. Jimmy turned to her right after he returned the gesture, meeting a slightly exasperated glare. Joel stood next to her, hands on his hips, and Jimmy knew he was in for some kind of talking too.

“You worried us a lot yesterday-” Lizzie started it gently, and Joel was quick to interrupt her.

“What the bloody hell is wrong with you lad?” His brother and law huffed, giving him a light punch on the arm. Jimmy just winched, and hung his head in defeat. Yeah, yeah he deserved that. Lizzie just glared lightly at her husband, before resuming what she had been saying before. “Can you stop doing stupid things like that, please? And also stop picking fights, just as a general thing while we’re here?” She huffed, sounding like her actual age for once.

Jimmy nodded again, and his sister wrapped him in a quick hug. He buried his face into her shoulder before pulling away, letting out an apologetic click. Lizzie made a click of her own in return, and pulled away so Joel could give him a side hug of his own.

After that the three turned back to the others. Pix and Pearl had Gem trapped in conversation, Fwhip hovering nearby. Scott was crouching, saying something softly to Shrub, while Katherine watched over his shoulder. Lizzie walked over to where Gem stood, catching the wizard's gaze. Joel walked over to Scott, waiting until the elf was done with his current exchange before speaking. Jimmy stayed where he was, content to wait until the meeting formally started. At some point Fwhip drifted to stand beside him, and he took the chance to secretly lace their fingers together again.

The Count held on to his partner’s hand, squeezing until the meeting was called to start and they had to separate, their seats unfortunately still on opposite sides of the table.

It felt good to be in his normal seat again, facing Gem and Scott beside him, instead of constantly looking at their empty chairs; wondering if the two were even still alive anymore. Lizzie and Joel were on his other side as always, and Pix was the one at the front of the table that day. He and Katherine tried to switch that between them each month, one of them taking charge of the meeting rather than both. It almost felt normal, almost. And it would be, if not for the empty seat beside Shrub, and the one sandwiched between Fwhip and Pearl.

“…So.” Pix began, letting silence fall over the room for a moment. “What exactly happened yesterday? And over the four before that?” Seven gazes fell expectantly onto Jimmy, and he tried not to shrink in on himself. It didn’t work very well.

“The other morning I decided to go to Mythland, like I’d been saying we needed to-” He started, noticing the eye rolls and winces that followed his words; some even averted their eyes in regret. “-and found Scott and Gem in Sausage’s dungeon.”

“That all?” Joel asked, cheek resting on his palm. The pose felt far too casual for the meeting actually, if Jimmy thought about it.

“I told you everything else through comms,” The cod shrugged. “Both of them needed medical attention, Scott especially, so I just kept them at my place for the night.”

“Are you okay, by the way?” Katherine asked, gaze shifting to the elf across from her. Rivendells ruler nodded. “It was just a few burns and some broken bones.” He mumbled, eyes firmly fixed on the table.

“Burns!?” Pearl gasped. “What kind?”

“Magic kind.” Scott said, voice getting softer. Fwhip stiffened from where he sat.

“From Sausage?” The Count asked, and Scott nodded in confirmation. “Started at my sides, then went along my back. Made wearing clothes kinda painful.” The last part was punctuated with a humorless sound, and Jimmy really hoped he stopped doing that soon, because it was the third time he’d done so that day and it was getting a little worrying.

Fwhip put a hand over his mouth, and the Codfather could tell his tail was flicking just by glancing at him. Jimmy shared a horrified little glance with the Count, and tried to stop himself from balling his fists up. “Fwhip? What is it?” Shrub asked, an urgence in her voice that wasn’t often heard.

“That’s the same thing he did to Jimmy.” The half dragon said, running a hand over his face. Eyes were on the Codfather again, and he kept his gaze firmly fixed on the wall. He ghosted a hand over his side, the one that had been injured before, and shivered.

Gem spoke again, looking almost as somber as she had been when Jimmy found her. “He did say something…..something about the attack on Jimmy being a test. A test of how much damage he could really do, and how fast he could inflict it.” Her voice was quiet, low, and the rest of the room was as well. Scott shrunk in on himself beside Jimmy, shaking, and the Codfather himself felt his blood turned to stone. Fwhip slammed a hand down on the table.

The wizard continued, taking advantage of the silence to get the words out. “Sausage also mentioned he did it to h-hurt…to hurt Scott I think.”

“But he should know they're not together.” Lizzie mumbled. “He got possessed after that happened.”

“I think his memories are a bit scrambled.” Gem said, gaze dull. “I think some, from right before this, might be gone temporarily. I mentioned something that happened the day before he disappeared, and he didn’t recall it at all.”

“That’s….” Joel started to say something, but trailed off, clearly at a loss for words.

“We don’t have to talk about this, you know.” Pix suggested, casting meaningful glances at Gem and Scott. The elf just shook his head.

“No, you all deserve to know what happened.” Scott’s voice was slightly louder than it had been before, and Jimmy was sure it would lower in volume again soon. He felt a pang of sympathy for the other, but also admiration. Jimmy didn’t think he'd be able to talk about that, not so soon after it happened.

"Well then," Pix nodded, seeming a little unsure. He cast a quick glance between Gem and Scott. "The floor is yours." He announced, then fell silent for the time being.

"There was a bit of corruption in the room, slowly inching towards the cages, for starters." Gem said. "Joey could tell we hated it, so he told Sausage to keep it there, because Sausage doesn't like the stuff in his buildings." It made sense to Jimmy why they'd wanted to avoid Spawn after that, because while Pearl and Pix's empire did have some corruption, Spawn had more. Spawn had always had more, because there was never someone there to constantly drive the disgusting red growth back.

"Cages?" Shrub muttered.

"Yeah, we were kinda tortured." Scitt said flatly, flicking his eyes over to gnome for a moment, before moving them back to the table. "It was mostly the magic, sometimes knives and swords and axes. Never anything…like, medieval I guess."

"They broke Scott’s bones at one point." Gem added, with a glare at the other. Scott just glared back, and the Codfather assumed that was the result of Scott taking the torture for her. No other emperor said anything on the glares though, assuming it wasn't their business, so Jimmy kept his mouth shut.

"That's…. horrid. " Katherine whispered, hand over her mouth. Shrub moved to hold the sheep's hand comfortingly, and everyone else looked like the information had taken a few years off their lives. Jimmy felt that way too, if he was being honest. He'd heard most of these facts once before, and hearing them again still made his gut turn in horror, in disgust, in a lot of emotions he didn't want to dig into.

"I've been thinking," Pearl began. "That maybe the increase in…sightings were a sign."

"Have you?" Scott asked, clearly glad to jump on another topic. Pearl nodded at him, and Jimmy wouldn't be surprised if that was her plan all along.

"Elaborate?" Pix asked, and the farmer nodded again.

"Well, he went missing for two months, after increased interaction with Xornorth. Then, he reappeared by visiting me first. After that he visited the rest of us, minutes Joey, Me, Fwhip, and Gem, over the course of about five to eight days." Pearl explained. At some point she'd been handed a piece of paper and a quill, and started to map out the chain of events as she spoke.

"Those visits ended with his attack on Jimmy." Pearl's voice became a little more soft and sympathetic as she reached that part, and Jimmy appreciated the sentiment. He'd had a few nightmares about that day, if he was being honest. "Sausage visited me everyday after that, like he used to sometimes before. On the third day, the day of the kidnapping, he said he had to leave early."

"And then we were stuck in a cell for four days, until yesterday when Jimmy found us." Scott finished. Pearl nodded for a third time, scribbling that down on the piece of paper as well.

"I think the attacks were a sign." Fwhip chimed in. "They got more violent each time, didn’t they? And he didn't go to see any of the Wither Rose Alliance."

"How does that factor in?" Lizzie asked, head tilted curiously.

"Because we probably would've guessed he was up to something." Fwhip shrugged. "We know him too well, and he's not stupid."

"He sure acts like he is, going and getting all possessed." Gdm mumbled, a little darkly. No one made any further comments after that, and the meeting fell into silence.

"I think we're done here." Scott said after a few minutes, and began to stand from his seat. Murmurs of agreement followed his words, and the ten rulers started to prepare for their own departures. Scott and Gem were crowded around slightly, everyone making sure to get in a hug and a goodbye, some of them even promising to check in daily via communicator.

The Codfather turned to say something to Fwhip, wanting to maybe hold his hand once more before leaving, to feel the comforting weight of his lover's hand in his own. Yet he found the other already leaving with his sister, presumably going to travel home with her; and the probably stay at the Crystal Cliffs for a while. Jimmy didn’t mind though, knowing he could see the half dragon later, and hopefully soon. Hopefully.

Katheine offered to travel home with Scott, clearly seeing how rattled he was. And the cod knew he had to shoot his shot, wanting to say one more thing to the other before they saw each other next; which was a much less certain thing than when he would see Fwhip.

Jimmy smiled at the elf, catching him before they parted ways. "Friends again?" He asked, doing so a little hesitantly. He wasn’t really sure of what the answer would be, but he did want to be friends with Scott again. He cared about the guy a lot, and they probably still had some issues to work through, but almost losing someone kinda makes you forget about all that for a moment. Their talk had also helped, and had made Jimmy feel like this whole relationship was salvageable, like they could go back to how they used to be; before the courting. before everything.

Scott smiled back at him gently. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."

The cod smiled back, and let Scott finally leave the room. There was a warmth setting in his chest, but it was gladly a different kind from the warmth Fwhip, and Scott himself used to give him.

[firespirited]

Weird day today. Had a very nice but subtly unnerving surprise meeting with an old friend of the family. She brought up dad which was expected but the religious language and contextualising everything was tough: "you and us are doing ok because we're children of gd" "gd brings us together" "gd protect us from evil" type stuff along with usual gd willing, thank gd, gd is good language.

I handle references to faith just fine culturally in Arabic, it's a little less culturally comfortable in French (or even English) but it's also not something I can reply to except with a polite nod that doesn't say yes but "I hear you".

It brought up a lot of complex emotions about half a dozen things as these things do when you've been rejected or hurt by people with gd as a reason. Also a painful reminder that I need to establish religious boundaries again with family again because I do take words seriously and don't want to be praying or agreeing to prayer because its uncomfortable to say that I'd rather not - after all it is as a matter of respect, if gd is real I refuse to treat communication with Them as trivial.

It was lovely to see she and her family are well. She speaks very fast so I wasn't able to say that I'm very happy for her lesbian daughter even as I could see her skirt around it like she thinks I might be biased against it (Honey no! Even as a tween when I was still christian, I thought any couple willing to commit for life and actually take those 'all circumstances' vows was to be celebrated. Of the dozens of red flags to not approve a marriage, being gay seemed totally illogical to me. Besides the passages about mlm and wlw were clearly in context about getting it on outside of marriage for social or ceremonial reasons and saying it's not real sex because it's not P in V and like A) we'd covered ancien greeks getting freaky in school and B) this was the Monica Lewinski era: everyone in the western world debated whether only P in V/hetero constitutes cheating. As a kid I didn't see it but after Lewinski? Those passages are clearly about what counts as cheating).

And I'll be totally honest, I was so relieved: the first two daughters married macho abusive dirtbags and are now married to new nicer if not exactly groundbreakingly feminist blokes but M's got her stable girlfriend turned wife, and while wlw relationships aren't without heartbreak and high drama, she has a lot better odds of an equal relationship.

I came home and crashed, napped for a while, then had to go do something... anything... because I wasn't in a great headspace so bad news from a friend via sis sent me and her spiralling about medical malpractice/neglect, I went for a second walk - it helped a little. I damaged a doll I was fixing up because I was tired,

Watched Wakanda Forever: excellent potential, same vast talent but obviously made in a rush (bits are clearly missing or chopped to be used in a different way), the underwater world was a blurry dark mess (and that would have been so cool if we could see it!) and I couldn't bear to see them fighting (over what seemed so trivial compared to the real threats), finally we get to see Shuri process 1 thing in between... she's got a whole lot more but hey she's got 1 down. I mean you don't get character study films in the MCU, you get a 3 minutes for Gamora or Rocket to address their lifelong traumas so not bad at all for a Marvel. I just can't with a blockbuster attempting to handle grief while still making a hero action movie, it expects you to imagine a lot of offscreen growth and processing. I don't like seeing characters with potential done dirty like that. I'd rather read whatever tie-in books expand the universe because they *had* to put 45 minutes of fight and explosion scenes.

The costumes were incredible as always but yeah not in the mood to see Wakanda attacked while the CIA rub their hands in glee.

Then there's an unfortunate subtext of a skeptic finding faith after doing all the rituals right which was just the wrong day for me to take it charitably. I'm happy for her. Really. I'm also jealous.

Science tells us little gay boys grieve when they realise, even on a subconcious level, that they're not getting the happy ending of the wife and two kids, it leaves a void and they have to reshape themselves as adults to fill that wife shaped hole society told them would be filled.

I hope that changes now that gay marriage is normalised and seen more. I hope more and more folks can find completeness without needing one special person to complete them.

Now when you're a religious kid, you're given an extra void to shape yourself around, one that will be filled by the divine. It will give you confidence purpose and love, and reshaping yourself is difficult because this isn't just the missing piece of your soulmate but your entire existence and reason for being. Being single from the spiritual is felt like a permanent failure at being human.

Among many things today, I was reminded today of what it felt like to be looked at as 'soulless', a 'lost' soul at best and how that's legit how I saw myself and on some level still sort of do.

I'll rewatch Wakanda forever on a better day and skip the fights. Hopefully by then someone has fixed the colour and brightness on the underwater scenes.

[wicked-jade]

🤡 🎶 🌞

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Daniel and Amanda's texts from Ch. 16 of 'Bad Luck' were a lot of fun. Actually, the whole first half of that chapter still makes me laugh. Also pretty much all of Johnny and Lyle's banter in 'Welcome to the Party, Pal.'

But my absolute favorite interactions to write are Johnny and the kids. I always get a laugh from scenes like this one from the beginning of 'Karate DILF':

“So, good ol’ roses then?” Nate loudly suggested, clocking the murderous look in their sensei’s eye. “Unless he’s allergic to them or something.”

“Daniel hates roses,” Johnny muttered, flopping down on his back to stare up at the sky, like maybe he’d find an answer to his problem in the clouds. “The most pedestrian of flowers. He’s a candy snob and a flower snob. Elitist bastard.”

“He might hate roses, but he loves bonsai!” Miguel countered, circling back around to his original idea. He leaned over Johnny, beaming down at him brighter than the sun. “See, it’s perfect!”

Johnny dropped the ice pack from his face and dramatically gestured around the bonsai-strewn garden with both hands before turning back to Miguel. His eye was already starting to puff up and turn purple, his vision slightly blurred. “Yeah, great idea. More deformed little munchkin trees. We already live in Barbie’s Dream Forest, how many more of the damn things does he need?”

“But this one would be special because you created it!” Miguel insisted, taking the ice and placing it back over his sensei’s bruised face. “It’d be your vision. He’d love it, I know he would!”

“Can I make it so it’s shaped like a dick?” Johnny asked, squinting up at the clouds. If he turned his head just right…yep, that one was totally a dick.

“Oh my god, no!” Miguel groaned, covering his own face in despair.

Sam, meanwhile, looked thoughtful. “Well, maybe…” She trailed off, staring off into the middle distance, like she was trying to visualize how to prune and wire the branches to make Johnny’s dick tree a reality.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I don't listen to music while I write. Even with ambient type music, I can't focus. I will sometimes listen to music before I start writing, though. Just to get in the right headspace for that particular fic. As for what I've had on repeat... 'Don't Cry' by Guns N' Roses (both versions), to get back in the right mood for working on 'Come the Morning Light.'

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

Generally I prefer to write at night when the house is quiet, though lately I've had some luck getting some writing done in the morning. Which is weird, because I'm not a morning person at all. 😂

Thanks for the asks! 💖💖💖 Here's the rest of the questions, for anyone else who'd like to send one.

[seiwas]

omg ari.... i have no words....

ari 😭 you wrote me a damn essay i am crying 😭😭😭

my jaw dropped when i saw this in my notifs omg i'm sorry i'm getting to this so late too!!

you are always so thoughtful and kind with giving reviews i am sniffling sawbing what the hek!!! 😭😭 am gonna try to answer to each thing as much as i can!!

pls don't apologise at all for taking long omg i'm thankful that you even considered reading it in the first place 😭 you are so cute!! dshbfsj needing the time to absorb it omg 😭 i completely get you tho, i'm like that too!!

to say my writing makes you emotional bc it's so painfully soft that it hurts omg 😭 that is such a nice thing to say i am so emosdfhbsdf and to say rdg my fics feel like surgery omg PLS 😭 i am so touched that this lil work of mine made you cry 😭 (am sending you a box of tissues for reparations 🤧)

ive always found my writing style to be relatively plain and simple so am so happy to hear that you like it 🥺 esp since i find yours so distinct and rich!! it means so much coming from you 🥺 being able to make people feel things is such a compliment for me bc what is art!! if not to make others feel smth right!!!! 🥺

i am so glad!! you saw through my intro line and am happy that you think it set the tone for the fic 🥺 i feel like i always try to start fics that way now—with one line that introduces an element of the fic, whether it's tone, or mood, or motif, theme, etc. in this case, it was the theme (and unintentionally, the tone too!) it's exactly that too!!!! a contrast to his greedy nature jhbfs you get it!!

i am always so touched when people comment on my characterisations bc i do feel like i spend the most time on it 😭 writing this piece was honestly torture lmao 😭😭 getting into gojo's headspace was tough and i was having such a hard time that churning this out literally felt like i was writing in the dark 😭 so to hear you say this!! that i wrote him thoughtully and that he feels real and human 🥺 it makes everything feel so worth it.

as my first long gojo fic, writing gojo shy and boyish was such a joy for me too 🥺 bringing out a side of him that i didn't think a lot of people wrote at the time. i think a bit of my own personal affections came through too 🥺 (that ice cream scene was one i went over time and time again, but i'm happy with how it turned out in the end!!)

and omg him being desperate and afraid—i'm so flattered you found in chilling. i thought about the concept of gojo being openly afraid for a while because i didn't know if it was ooc for him to be that way. but ultimately, i did realise that that's exactly why it's so heartbreaking—because he isn't like that normally. yet, with this, he's brought down to his knees, in pain, almost pleading. it hurts to think about and it hurt writing it. and i think the journey there is complicated and tiring and frustrating, esp on the end of whoever's dealing with gojo (col reader), because, he really is so hard to read!!! it is so satisfying for me that you picked up on all of these things (ofc you did, it's you ari 😭).

that office scene was especially hard to write because i felt the tension crushing my heart shdbsajhd having him kneel was a conscious choice bec i wanted it to be a moment of surrender, and like you mentioned, helpless!!

and here you are!! flattering me again!! omg 😭 telling me that i'm good at bringing out a character's humanity??? omg 😭 i could cry!!! the little details about them?? omg 😭 i don't want to get all sappy here but ultimately i think it's because i think that's how love is!! knowing someone so intimately, good and bad and still accepting them for it. the little quirks & habits that make them them, the ugly parts they don't want others to see 🥺 yeah... i have lots of feelings abt this 😭

and omg the divinity theme yes!!! our brain cells connecting IS SO TRUE PLS

AND OMG. the tethered to satoru in pursuit of gojo—i feel like you might be one of the first to point out that line!! you got it 100% omg 😭 it's really losing himself in pursuit of something else, 'greater', and in the process losing col reader too 🥺

hsdjgdjf i'm so happy that you also noticed that he does love reader and fears for how he affects her too 🥺 i think it's so easy to get lost in the idea that gojo doesn't care as much as reader does, and is entirely too focused on himself to worry about how reader feels... but i do think!!! that given their history and what their relationship has gone through, there's just no way he could disregard her feelings like that. there has to be a reason why he's distancing himself, and it's in consideration of her too.

i've read this fic so many times, going over it, editing, rereading to see if i still like it as much months later, that all those lines you mentioned stay burned in my mind omg 😭 they're all lines i hold near and dear to me too.

to hear that you resonated with col!gojo a lot omg especially w that line 😭 that line actually inspired the whole concept of the fic!! dbsdfb

you are also (once again, im not surprised) right!!!! the frustration of not knowing how to do this one thing when he can do anything else right. i liked playing with that idea bc of the contrast it provides to his character!! how this one thing that should come so naturally, doesn't to him.

and col reader omg.... when i tell you ari.... the way col reader has grown on me too. some people might think this is a self-shippy thing, that i write col reader patterned after me, but that isn't the case at all 😭 i wouldn't put up with half the stuff col reader's put with 😭 like she's a trooper fr!!! such a sweetheart!!! an ideal partner i envision for someone like col gojo 😭

i am so happy you see her resilience, you don't even know. a lot of the readers that i've read with gojo have been either feisty ones that match him, or ones absolutely lovestruck with him. i kind of wanted to see what it would be like with a reader who's gentler, a bit quieter, letting him speak when he's ready, and patient most of all. because of that, i was really scared that col reader would feel a bit passive, even though i really intended for her to have this steady resilience to her. someone can be strong and kind, yes!! that's what i wanted her to embody 🥺 and that observation of yours!! gojo being the physically stronger one but depending on reader for the emotional side of things!! that's so true 🥺 i didn't really think of it that way initially, but now completely see it too!!!

the col couple is so very dear to me because they really are so gentle with each other 🥺 i'm so happy you love them too 🥺 (i also giggled at 'this gutted me like a sad fish. ur ability to turn my heart into sashimi w only a couple of finely chosen words kills me every time' that is so vivid but ofc i can trust u to come up with smth like that 😭😭😭)

seeing you go through the feels for col reader is SO lovely 😭 she truly deserves everything for all the shit she put up with 😭 how she gives him an out always because she understands that it's scary and it's hard and she loves him that's why she's so considerate of him 😭 the love in her heart too!! AAAH there's a line in... i think 2 fics from this one, 'look my way, you're what i crave', that kind of affirms the kind of reader col reader is and i 🥺🥺🥺 all the time

(and omg!! i have that fic in my tbr rn 😌 i am SO excited to read it, i LOVE concepts like that sdfhbs the ambiguity!! the need for nothing labelled!! nothing more!! as long as the feelings are there and mutual 🥺 yeah 🥺 i also get so happy when our views overlap!!! bc then i think 'omg i can run to ari w this and they'd get me 200% shdfsdh it's like you said!! our braincells connecting!!!)

omg ari... i swear... 😖 i do think gojo cries abt it 😭 tears up 😭 gets emotional 😭 the whole thing 😭 & that trope/dynamic is also so dear to me!!! the patience is very healing to me too 🥺

and yes omg reader's struggles with it too. sometimes i feel like i don't portray it enough but reader definitely had such a hard time with gojo 😭 i don't mention it i think (maybe in future works), but reader truly... had to build her way to that level of understanding. she didn't just come out knowing how to deal w gojo 😭 i think it came with a lot of time, shared experiences, and a deep knowing of him that got her to this point (smth i hope to explore in col 0 and fics set between col 0 to 'do you believe in love?')

AND AAAAAH their lil cute scenes were my my ways of soothing myself while writing this omg 😭 u r so real for being jealous of both of them 😭 i'm glad you can see their history and comfortability with one another!! flustery gojo is the cutest i agree 🥺 to reduce such a self-assured man to a blushing mess!!! i swear!! it does smth!!! and all the subtle intimacies between them!!!!!

and omg the final point you discussed, how gojo has such a big heart! yes!! omg i think gojo's a complex character because he's always somewhere in the middle of two things. in this case, while i do think gojo has a big heart that cares for others and looks out for them, i don't think he's selfless either. i actually think he can be pretty selfish, whether for personal motives, or for the sake of other things that will contribute to a goal he wants tor each in the end. it's smth i think abt a lot, but gojo isn't necessarily a goody goody guy but he cares about the people who matter to him.

and your tags!! omg these are all so sweet pls don't feel bad at all 😭 it's not a mess!! you relayed your thoughts so perfectly!! and even if it were a mess, i wouldn't love it any less!!!

i appreciate you so much for taking the time to read this, to sort through your favourite bits and write such a long and lovely essay on it oh my goodness 😭 you didn't have to do this at all ari!! you are so sweet!!

i always feel such an outpour of love from you in every interaction we have and i am so grateful for it 🥺 i appreciate you so so much and i know i can always count on you when it comes to our guy 🥺 you just get him. ily ari, truly, we are writing novels for eachother atp HAHAHAHAHAHA

₊˚⊹｡ tell me about love (show me how) | gojo satoru

wc: 7.4k

summary: you teach gojo how to love. 

contains: f!reader in mind but no pronouns mentioned, descriptions of blood (typical jjk canon type stuff), shibuya onwards manga spoilers, implied minor character death, there are swears, suggestive bit at the end (but it’s funny!), lots of internal thoughts/dialogues, kind of canon divergent

a/n: relates to my short blurb, do you believe in love?, explores a lot on how i think gojo would be when it comes to love; ambiguous but linear timeline (jumps through scenes)

collection masterlist: conversations on love 01. do you believe in love? <- you are here -> 2.5. and my body keeps saying (it's yours)

When Gojo has love for the taking, he makes no move to reach for it. 

It’s unusual for him to be so restrained, being born into greed and predetermined purpose—a one-man clan fated to hold power close to God. There exists a hunger within him, insatiable and stubborn, unstoppable until he gets what he wants. It’s all he’s ever known: to take and devour, simply because he can. 

Yet with this, he doesn’t. He can’t seem to. 

“I think I’ll always want to be with you, Satoru.” 

When you offer your heart to Gojo, he looks at you softly. 

You catch his eyes and see the sky, bright, with flecks of light floating on his irises like cotton clouds in its periphery. It’s different from the piercing blue you’re used to—a terrifying riptide that washes you away. 

It wasn’t intended as a confession, but Gojo always takes whatever you have to say. He commits it to memory each time; how could he not? Words that come from you flow so naturally, so earnestly that the air around you shifts all on its own.

His lips part slightly, red spatterings lining pink inner corners before they close again. He doesn’t say anything, but you know Gojo and the fingerprints of his soul—the way he bites his lips to withhold himself from speaking. 

It’s dangerous, he thinks, how you make wanting something so complicated seem so simple.

He takes a small breath, then you feel it, pressed against you—the faint signature of his cursed energy overlaying his entirety. It tickles your skin a little, the effects of it brushing. You don’t remember the last time he put it up around you.

A million things run through Gojo’s mind for every split second he breathes, but at this point in time, he counts a million and one—one thought that if he touches you by infinity instead of his hands, he can have this good thing for now, that this is the only way how. 

You’d think this a rejection, if any, but he doesn’t move away from you, and the blush blooming at the tips of his ears says more than he ever could. 

.

.

.

The subtle intimacy you share with Gojo grows sporadically, from knuckles brushing to pinkies touching. He stands next to you more often, a few inches closer than he used to and sometimes, still, with an infinity connecting you.

.

.

.

When you hold Gojo’s hand for the first time, he jolts very slightly, as if you’ve shocked him. He’s started to put his infinity down around you again, and you continue the limbo of whatever it is you both are—except this time, he’s made it clearer, just a little bit. 

During the last few leaves of fall, Gojo skips to an ice cream stand like a pre-schooler on early dismissal. You trail behind him slowly, shaking your head affectionately; he’s the only adult you know that still acts like he’s 5. 

“You’re like a horse.” you jest, stopping next to him in line.

“You’re a snail.” he huffs, side-eyeing you, like a child.

You gasp exaggeratingly, hitting his arm. He fake-winces, but that’s all it is; Gojo’s the strongest and you don’t know of any human touch that has managed to hurt him, except—

Yeah. Your eyes trail to the side of his neck, hidden in the shadows of his jawline; there’s really nothing, but sometimes you blink and see crimson, oozing, gushing, leaking—you shake away the thought.  

When he receives his ice cream cone stacked with vanilla-strawberry-vanilla and rainbow sprinkles on top, the smile on his face parallels the sun. He looks cozy, almost boyish, beaming against the autumn breeze blowing on his thick gray hoodie. 

You wonder if he feels just as warm.

(Maybe that’s why you do it, then).

Once Gojo turns to give you the cone, you reach for his other hand tentatively, shyly—your fingertips grazing his palm lightly. You want to give him an out if he can’t take this, but he doesn’t move. He twitches a little, as if he’s been caught off guard, but that’s it. 

His eyes widen briefly, just a bit, before turning into the same soft skies frequenting them lately. 

“Sorry, is this okay?” you whisper, peering up at him. 

He stares at you for a while, his hand in yours unmoving. You leave a sliver of space between your palms–your own version of his infinity–just in case. And he takes it all in: how tiny your hand is wrapped around his, how gently you speak—how warm he feels now amidst this autumn breeze. 

“The strawberry’s really good,” he finally replies, pressing the dessert closer to you, “try it.” 

You give him one last look before you indulge in his request. Gojo’s always been good at that: pushing and pulling—pushing you away with non-answers only to pull you back in with something else. 

But he doesn’t let go of your hand, so you keep yours there, palms nearly touching. (You make a point not to mention how the parts that do touch become clammy for the rest of the afternoon). 

.

.

.

You start to think that your relationship with Gojo is going somewhere, then he disappears (‘gets sealed’ might be the more proper term). 

His absence is deafening. You’ve all lost so much, and it hurts, but you carry on knowing full well that this is what being a jujutsu sorcerer means. There aren’t many left to fight his fight, so you do what you can to. You stay with Shoko, mostly, if not going back and forth with Utahime. You can’t afford to be crying when the students, the kids—you can’t even bear to think about what they’re going through.

Nights are the hardest, when the world is quiet but your mind is loud, throwing far too many questions you can’t find the answers to.

What will Gojo come back to? Then the scarier thought: Will he even come back? 

You don’t want to doubt him, ever, but your mind continues to play back that day, like a final memory. The unintentional confession; his eyes like the sky. 

You don’t want it to be the last important thing you tell him. 

“I should start looking into retirement plans, like Nanamin.” you raise an eyebrow, questioning. Gojo’s never spoken this far into the future before, most especially his. 

“Work is shit now for you too?” you scoff, leaning back on the wooden ledge. 

Gojo rolls his eyes, skipping the coverage of his blindfold today. 

“Well, after I remove the old geezers and change everything, there won’t be much left to do.” 

You hum in response. He does make a point. 

“Also, Megumi won’t need me anymore,” he pouts, whining, “who else will want me around?” 

You try to hold back your laugh, wanting so badly to tell him that Megumi doesn’t even really like him around to begin with—but you figure breaking Gojo’s heart isn’t really something you want to do if you value your peace. 

“I don’t know,” you reply, shifting your weight, “I think I’ll always want to be with you, Satoru.” 

Even now, especially now. You wish you were with him, too. 

.

.

.

The day you hear of Gojo’s potential return, you drop your breakfast outside the 7-Eleven near Jujutsu Tech. You’re supposed to meet up with Utahime for a weekly check-in but your feet take you to Shoko, and the footsteps in your heart have never echoed louder. 

This is the first good news in a while—especially after finding out about the state of Megumi and what happened to Tsumiki, your sweet girl Tsumiki. 

When Gojo comes back, it’s like he never left. He pops out of the box joking the same way, talking the same way. He proves himself to be the strongest all the same, and when he wins—there are scars, but he wins and that fact stays the same. 

So, when you reach for his hand now and he moves away, you’re stuck wondering what’s changed. 

.

.

.

You let it stay that way for a while, your understanding extending to Gojo the way it always has—you don’t push, and he gives you what he can. It honestly isn’t all that bad, because at least he’s still talking to you like he used to. 

Jujutsu society is still shaken from its core. You and all who have survived bear the task of building everything from the ground up; it’s exhausting, especially since most of you are still mourning. 

Megumi’s been put in an induced coma; you understand why but it still tugs at your heart when Shoko tells you it might take a while. Everyone else has been assigned to sweep through the rest of Japan to ensure that any remaining curses are taken care of. 

You see Yuuji and Yuuta visit Megumi sometimes, along with Maki and Toge when they’re free. Gojo’s there pretty often too, using healing sessions with Shoko as an excuse to see the boy he’s practically raised at 17, with you. 

But while Gojo’s smiles to everyone else remain as charming as ever, you can always tell when they’re untrue. 

.

“Are you okay?” 

You find Gojo a little after midnight on the rooftop of the faculty building. The city always looks pretty from up here—a sea of lights reflected up on the sky. It’s a running joke that rooftops are Gojo’s ‘thing’, but you know he really only comes to places like this to think. You wonder what’s on his mind now, coming here every single night since being unsealed. 

Despite how quiet you try to be, sneaking up on Gojo is almost impossible; he senses you before he hears you, sees the familiar traces of your cursed energy through his Six Eyes. 

“Can’t sleep thinking about me?” he teases, looking straight ahead.

The steps you take towards him are careful, afraid of running him off like you seem to be lately. You sit beside him, leaving a space larger than you usually do, then shrug, “These days, yeah.”

It’s times like this when Gojo forgets how honest you can be, how he takes your word for everything, completely. 

It’s threatening, he thinks, how you can say so much with so little. 

“Well, maybe I can suggest—” 

“Seriously, Satoru,” you grip the ledge tightly, knuckles turning white, “please.” 

You tend to let Gojo dodge your questions a lot of the time, his elusiveness a hallmark of who he is. So you never sound like you do now, serious, pleading. 

Gojo fiddles with his fingers, pondering. He hums lowly before speaking, “Does it matter?” 

It hurts you a little, how that’s even a question. He should know better than to ask that to you. 

“It matters to me, Satoru,” you sigh, “you know it does.”

You barely catch the way his brows furrow at your response, but there are creases on his blindfold that can’t be created by anything else. And Gojo knows—is so painfully aware of the way you care. 

Since coming back, he’s never felt like he’s fully returned. It’s an odd existence of in-between, like he breathes everything and nothing all at the same time. The emotions are even worse, overloading his senses with feelings he can never pinpoint. 

How does he tell you that he must be fucked in the head? That every second in his mind is another step closer to insanity? That he’s lost your tether on Satoru in pursuit of Gojo—of being a god? 

“I’ll tell you,” he starts, “but you have to look away.”

You’ve always treated Gojo tenderly, patiently, and he knows, without a doubt, that no matter what he says you will continue to do the same. But he can’t allow that, not anymore. Not after the way you looked at him that day.

“Okay,” you mutter, turning your head the other way. 

He breathes out and you can almost picture it: half-bitten lips and eyes like low tide. 

“I’m fine,” he says to the back of your head, “you have nothing to worry about.” 

A breeze picks up and brushes past your neck. It’s a lie. He knows it, knows you know it too, but—

it’s easier this way, he thinks, to give you answers when you’re not looking.

Gojo’s never found a weakness he can’t work around, but he might have just found one with you—in your eyes, that read through his every lie. If you turn around now, he’ll want to tell you everything.

“Satoru,” you whisper, letting his name fill the air. You get it—him, and even when you don’t, you try damn hard to because you refuse to let Gojo carry all of it on his own. 

There are crescent indents on your palm from squeezing your knuckles too hard. You think, is this how you form shallow cuts on your heart?

“It’s just me,” you continue, facing him when you say it. 

He takes you all in—your eyes that hold the city lights, your lips, the only vessel that handles his name so delicately. It’s that look on your face again and Gojo’s hit with an ache in his chest—the overwhelming truth that whatever it is, he feels the same. 

.

.

.

There’s a secret Gojo keeps, one he’s certain he’ll never tell you: that when he looks at you upon his return and finds an emotion he refuses to name, he’s never felt so afraid.  

He takes in the shadows under your eyes and the sunkenness of your cheeks—the number of blinks it takes you to reign in tears on the brink of leaking. The way your voice shakes when you say his name.

Shoko tells him about it because she knows you never will—about how you’ve been running yourself dry, speeding through colonies to gather intel for any possible way to break the seal. She tells him about the sleepless nights, how she catches you standing outside his office at 3 a.m. before travelling to Utahime the next morning. 

And he cannot comprehend it at first, cannot understand how he’s caused you to crumble this way. 

If this is all because of him, how you’ve broken yourself all for his sake, he can’t allow it. To see you ruin yourself over him, over anyone ever—you deserve better.

So, when Gojo has love for the taking, he makes no move to reach for it; he cannot possibly take any more from you if this is what is left of you when he does. 

.

.

.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” you catch him by the door of the conference room. 

Rebuilding an entire society requires work and apparently a lot of meetings. Gojo doesn’t usually go to most of them, leaving you and Utahime to carry the chunk of his attendance when he’s not there. In the rare times that he does show up, he makes it a point to be the last one in and the first one out. Utahime hates him for it but you don’t blame him—he isn’t exactly amicable with other figures of authority.

He pauses when he steps out of the door, hands in pockets as he turns to face you. 

You’re not mad or anything, just stating the fact. He’s always known you to speak this way. You lean against the wall next to you, keeping your arms crossed. More people continue to file out of the conference room, some eyeing the two of you curiously as they pass by.

Gojo glances at them, suddenly self-conscious as he clears his throat, “Right, I’ve been avoiding the paperwork you left in my office,” he emphasizes, practically announcing it to everyone in the vicinity, “let’s finish it now.” 

You don’t know whether it’s irritating that Gojo’s so terribly bad at acting, or comforting that he still can’t, for the life of him, successfully lie in front of you. 

He motions for you to follow him as he strolls down the hallway, but you intentionally lag a few steps behind, careful not to encroach on his space lest it make him avoid you any more than he already is.

Stepping into Gojo’s office after so long feels weird, like you belong here but only to a memory of it—as if closing the door behind you feels like activating a muscle you haven’t for a while. It’s been months after all. 

Your eyes skim over the entire room, zeroing in on the stacks of paper lined up on his desk; paperwork has always been Gojo’s least favorite part of the job, often leaving you to do them with him (or alone, when you’re feeling generous). Not much has changed in his space; the mini living area still exists to the left of the room, with little bits of you in its interiors—the pillows, the coffee table books. 

Gojo plops down on the sofa chair and props his feet up on the ottoman, giving four scrolls to his phone before pocketing it. He has the audacity to casually offer you the seat across from him, as if nothing’s wrong—as if he hasn’t been avoiding you for god’s sake. 

Ever since the rooftop, he’s canceled lunch with you six times for reasons that you’re now realizing are less likely to be true. He’s kept a distance of at least one person in between you at all times, and to this day, you still don’t understand why. 

You sigh, taking a seat and leaning back to cross your legs. 

“You’re so bad at acting.” you start.

Being with Gojo for so long, you’ve come to realize that there’s no point being angry with him when your heart can never take it. 

“I technically wasn’t lying.” he replies, sticking his index finger up. 

“Yeah, I can see that,” you snicker, nodding to his desk. 

It’s always like this with Gojo: he pulls you in and you follow. No matter the distance between you, when you sit down together like this, it still always flows so easily. The banter you’ve built together over a decade and more shines through no matter what state your relationship is in. 

Neither of you say anything until Gojo replaces his blindfold for his sunglasses, placing the piece of cloth on the coffee table. 

You break the silence. 

“Why have you been avoiding me?” you ask quietly. Gojo aches at that, how you still choose to regard him so kindly. 

Why has he been avoiding you? It’s a good question, completely valid with how he’s been treating you lately, but he could draw up every answer he has, all one million and one, and still not know what to say.

Gojo’s a pretty bad communicator; for how much he talks, he doesn’t really say much—and maybe that’s the root of all this. There are too many things he wants to say but can’t formulate in the right way.��

“If it’s something I did, can you at least let me know?” you continue. Gojo frowns, how can you be wronged yet still think of yourself as the one to blame? 

“Why do you do that?” he tuts, head tilting sideways as his hands dig deeper into his pockets. 

“Do what?” you furrow your brows, confused. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t worry about it.” he says dismissively. 

You arch an eyebrow; he has it all mistaken. 

“Satoru, I’m not worried because I feel guilty,” you sit up, inching towards the edge of your seat, “I’m worried because you’re pushing me away.” your voice is level, but your pupils shake.

Something grips at his chest seeing you this way; together or apart, he seems to be the main contributor to your heartache. 

You wonder if confronting him like this is any good if he’s not going to say anything anyway. 

“If you want space, that’s okay, I get it, but,” you exhale, “at least just tell me why.” 

This entire time avoiding you, Gojo’s had you on his mind—the million and one. He’s come to terms with what he feels when you’re together, and how it amplifies when you’re not. 

It’s shitty of him to practically ghost you, not just in text but in real life too. But he’s thought about it logically, really, that removing himself from your life should be just like ripping off a bandaid—painful but quick. At least that way, you’d get over it fast. 

He’d been resigned to doing that and that was the plan—until now. 

All it takes is seeing that look in your eyes, and his resolve falls apart. 

“I can’t.” he speaks softly. 

What hurts the most is that beneath his sunglasses, his eyes still hold the sky. 

You think you want to cry. 

You take this as your answer and close your eyes, taking a deep breath before getting up to leave. If this is goodbye, you don’t want your last interaction to be an awkward memory of him watching you bawl in his office chair. 

You push yourself up with the armrest only to sit back down—because Gojo is right in front of you, blocking your way. His infinity is up but touching, a tingling sensation sweeping across your knees. 

“Wait,” he swallows, a franticness you’ve never seen before. His head stays down as he bites his lips, sunglasses hanging by his fingertips. You wonder what he wants to say, that even if it comes out messy, it’s okay. You want to tell him that it’s just you—that you’ll always want to hear it all anyway. 

What comes next is unlike any version of Satoru you have ever known—nervous and uncertain, almost like he’s afraid. He lowers himself, slowly coming down to his knees in front of you. A giant of a man so small in your presence. 

“I don’t know how.” he mutters, dropping his sunglasses to the floor. 

You blink once, twice, still surprised by what’s in front of you. Gojo has always towered above you, has always known how to do anything and everything so effortlessly without fail. 

Watching him now, with every inhale and exhale dragging in slow motion, you do your best not to startle him. 

“How to what?” you whisper, the moment so fragile. 

He looks up, eyes locking with yours. A reaction happens in that moment—the split second of all his thoughts collapsing into one. You see a clear sky, blue and bright as day, the Satoru he saves for you—while he sees you, with that look on your face, the one that he knows has always only meant love. 

The sincerity in your gaze overwhelms him—makes him look away before it becomes too much. Red blooms at the tips of his ears as he bites the inner corners of his lips, fingers grabbing at the fabric of his pants. You’re afraid he might run away again, but he doesn’t and stays right where you are. 

“You know…” he looks to the side, pouting, “whatever you do….”

“Like…?” you coax lightly, trying hard to hide the small smile forming on your lips. 

You wonder how many versions of Satoru you’ll meet in your lifetime, and if this one, shy and nervous, will be one you’ll fit into the crevices of your heart just like all the others. 

He grips his pants tighter, fabric bunching under his fingers, “When you hold my hand… those things. You get it.” 

And you do (get it), so you don’t push, taking whatever Gojo has to give you like you always have. 

The tension relieves from you slowly, comforted by the fact that at least he’s given you his reasons now (no matter how vague they still seem to be). That at least there are no non-answers this time. 

You tell yourself that it’s okay, that you’re content as long as Gojo’s in your life even without the possibility of becoming something more. 

“Ok—”

But there’s always one thing you forget about Gojo—

“So show me how.”

—in the moments you least expect it, he speaks the words that matter most. 

.

.

.

You choose to show him slowly, gently, like the trickling introduction of water to a man who is first learning how to drink. 

In the first few weeks of you and Gojo readjusting to one another, he turns on his infinity again—but only when he gets close enough to touch you. Lunches together happen more often, dinners sometimes too. Then he puts his infinity down, indefinitely. 

For the most part, your relationship falls into the usual steps of your dynamic with Gojo; there’s no pressure for anything and he likes that, appreciates the time you’re giving him to learn things at his own pace. 

It grows organically that way: knuckles brushing as you both reach for the stapler, pinkies touching whenever you walk side-by-side during site visits—until you’re able to hold his hand fully again, leaving that little infinity between your palms for him to close (hopefully, one day). 

.

.

.

The faculty room is cold, especially during winter. The heating system is never warm enough to keep your hands from shaking whenever you mix your morning coffee. 

“So loud so early,” Gojo saunters into the kitchen, hands in pockets as he approaches the pantry. 

You stop mixing, ceasing the clinking of the spoon against your mug. “How are you not freezing?” 

He shrugs, grabbing his box of (heavily sugared) cereal. “I guess I’m just hot.” he says, turning to wiggle his eyebrows.

You roll your eyes and set your coffee on the table, Gojo following with a bowl brimming with cereal and milk. 

Mornings usually consist of you and Gojo, with an occasional new hire who has an early class that day. Most of the time, it’s just you two though, with Shoko coming in much closer to lunch time already. 

“Want some?” he asks, holding out his spoon.

It’s routine—Gojo asks and you decline, choosing to save yourself from the cavities that he somehow manages to evade despite having a diet of 80% sugar. 

Today though, you’re feeling a little adventurous. 

You nod, opening your mouth. Gojo’s eyes widen, nearly dropping the spoon at your request. You see the flush of his cheeks and smile, corners of your mouth extending wider. The spoon is shoved to your mouth too quickly, almost like he’s embarrassed to feed you. 

“Too sweet,” you scrunch your face, swallowing down the copious amount of sugar you’ll feel for days. 

If there’s one thing you’ve learned about Gojo throughout this whole relationship trial period, he recovers from any state within a nanosecond. There’s no end to how shameless he can be. 

“Like me, right?” he winks.

“Sure,” you drawl sarcastically and Gojo smiles like it’s high praise. 

You sip your coffee slowly, revelling in the heat that flows down your throat.

“Can I have half of that?” you point to his bowl. Gojo looks at you, confused, but slides it over anyway.

What happens next is an abomination to Gojo’s eyes—pure absolute disgust: you pour half of his cereal into your coffee and mix, sipping and crunching on a few pieces every now and then. 

His face contorts into complete distaste, horror and revulsion in the way his mouth hangs open. 

“What are you doing? That’s gross!” he nearly yells, reaching over to bring your mug down. His hand covers yours for a moment, the contact still causing gallops in his heartbeat. 

You laugh, giggling as he processes what you’d wasted his cereal on. It honestly doesn’t taste that bad, you think. 

“You’re weird,” he says to you, the grin on his face uncontained. This morning, he feels fond, like the butterflies in his stomach are warm, tickling him from the inside. “Give me.” he motions to your mug. 

You hold it up for him to take a sip but he keeps his hand over yours when he tastes, sticking his tongue out once the bitterness of your coffee hits. You set the mug down, preparing to reach for your spoon, but he takes your hand in his, long fingers slotting right between yours, interlacing. 

Gojo doesn’t normally reach for your hand, much less interlace them together (a recent evolution to your hand-holding), but this feels nice, how your fingers fit right in the spaces of his. 

You turn to him, a shy smile on your face. The tips of his ears are blush red but he looks at you the same, “Your hands were cold,” he pouts, “is this– is this okay?” 

“Yeah, it’s warm. Thank you, Satoru.” you nod, beaming. And it’s not a competition but he hopes you see the light in his eyes, how it feels to be ignited within him only when he’s spending breakfasts like this with you. 

.

.

.

Shoko asks what you are and you don’t know what to tell her other than you’re happy and it’s good. Gojo’s existence is loud and vibrant, easy to spot from miles away—but he cares for you discreetly, in the hand that gently rests on your lower back while crossing the street, and the seemingly unlimited supply of your favorite coffee when you have no recollection of restocking it ever. 

He gives you a new mug for Christmas, one with little cereals painted all over while you give him his own tube of hand cream that he claims always smells like you. 

During the faculty New Year celebration, you overhear one of the new hires make a move on Gojo. You aren’t bothered by it or anything, simply walking past to sip your sake by the couch. You can hear them talk a bit from the kitchen, but you try not to pry despite how curious you are about his response. 

Until—

“I’m taken,” you hear Gojo say bluntly. 

Everything rings in your ears after that. The countdown music is loud, but your heart beats louder; there are murmurs and footsteps around you, but only one man crouches down to check on you, glass of water in hand. 

You snap out of it and see blue, the sky—a familiar light; you don’t think you can control the smile on your face, the alcohol lowering your inhibitions to paint on something lovesick. 

And when he smiles back, pink lips stretching wide—oh your heart can’t take it. He places one hand on your knee, rubbing gently. You hear it faintly, how he asks if you’re okay, but all you can do is nod, words failing to express how you feel right now.  

The countdown starts. 3 — and you take his face in your hands, squishing his cheeks to an image of him on your phone from many, many years ago. 2 — you go closer and his eyes go wide, a mixture of panic and surprise, but soft at the same time. 1 — you lean in and his eyelids fall shut, his chest on rampage. Then it lands, there, on the tip of his nose: a delicate peck and the smell of sake mixed with mint (like the lip balm you always carry around in your pocket). 

When you pull away from him, you’re smiling the biggest he’s ever seen, and he can’t feel it from how numb his cheeks have become, but he’s doing the same. 

.

.

.

That kiss to his nose serves as the catalyst to the months that follow: Gojo becomes more comfortable touching you now, and though he blushes every single time, there’s nothing to be ashamed of because you do too. Shoko can’t believe the slow burn this is taking you both, having watched this on the sides since you were both 22, but you think you like it—like the slow drizzle of honey on Gojo’s favorite breakfast waffles. 

“How is it?” you ask, watching as Gojo takes a big bite. 

“D Beft.” he replies, mouth full as he chews. You take the seat beside him and take a spoonful. 

“There’s a secret ingredient.” you say mischievously, wiggling your eyebrows. 

He swallows before he scoffs, “What?” cutting up another piece, “Love?” 

You’re surprised because he says it so casually, and Gojo’s never talked about love, has never even mentioned the word since this shift in your relationship. He realizes a beat late by the expression on your face and gets flustered, thinking immediately of ways to brush past it. 

You had meant to say that you used that infused sugar he buys whenever he goes to Kyoto, but… you suppose love works too. He should know by now, right? 

“If it is?” you whisper, pretending to stir your coffee. 

Gojo doesn’t know how to approach this, really, but he’s come too far to back out now. He clears his throat, mentally running through what he wants to say, then, “Good. ‘Cause that’s what I put in your coffee too.” 

You laugh and the tension dissipates; there are hearts in your eyes for how hard Gojo has tried after denying himself of this for so long. 

He stares at you—at the laugh lines by your eyes and the soft curves of your lips, the moment moving much too slow, stop motion in his mind. He’s drawn in until you’re all too close, a few centimeters from your noses touching. 

Your laughter dies and your cheeks feel like they’re on fire; he’s so close you think he might kiss you. The signs are there—his eyes scaling your face to focus on your lips, his tongue peeping ever so slightly to wet his lips. 

So you wait. 

But he doesn’t, because he moves away after wiping his thumb on the side of your mouth. Even though you know there was nothing there. 

Gojo continues to eat, blabbering about a site visit he’s assigned to next week, but you don’t miss the way his ears are fully red and how he’s biting his lips to death.

.

The tension this time is different; instead of a growing rift, you can’t seem to be close enough. Every time you part ways, he lets go of your hand more reluctantly—as if he wants to say more, do more, but stops himself while he still can. 

When he leaves for missions, you kiss his cheek, pull him in by the hand and linger there, shyly. He gets embarrassingly red but tries to cover it up by telling you not to miss him too much (even though you know you will, and he knows he’ll miss you more). 

Your near-kisses with Gojo happen more frequently, and it comes to a point where he even manages to land one on your forehead, while you fall asleep next to him on his office couch. 

It’s driving you crazy, this tension—the mixed signals of it all. You try to kiss him a few times on the lips, but he evades them each time. You’ve caught Gojo staring at your lips more times than you can count; if that isn’t a sign, you don’t know what is. 

Now that Gojo thinks about it, he’s come so far yet the prospect of kissing you properly still scares him. What if he fucks up? Doesn’t do it right? What if it’s not how he wants you to be kissed? 

There’s that secret Gojo will never tell you, of how seeing that look on you has never gotten him more afraid. And he’s worked through that now, but it’s evolved into something else: how Gojo is now afraid of love, more than anything else, not because of loss but because he might not know how. 

And kissing you, loving you this way—he’s never done it before, doesn’t know how to make you feel love without his lips shaking and heart palpitating; how to do it while letting you know he feels the same. 

.

It happens during an assignment out of town. Curses aren’t as bad as they used to be, but they’re still stronger than what any of the available sorcerers right now can handle. 

You don’t remember the last time you saw Gojo use his technique that way—almost forgotten how powerful and ruthless he can be. Every time since, holding your hand, keeping you close—he’s just been your Satoru. 

Your apartment for the weekend is a two-bedroom unit with one bathroom and a decently sized living area and kitchenette; Gojo always chooses the room in front of the bathroom because he tends to wake up in the middle of the night to pee (information you know from your many other assignments with him before). Still, going as what you are now—it feels different. 

There’s a charged air between you as you move around the unit; you make your nightly tea while Gojo looks through the groceries for some crackers. It’s peaceful and quiet—domestic almost, but there are goosebumps on your skin for reasons you can’t explain. Being around Gojo lately has felt that way.

He brushes past you to throw the finished packet of crackers and the feeling intensifies; it’s not awkward, just tense, like anticipation sitting deep in your bellies, waiting on each other to make the first move. 

He announces that he’ll use the bathroom first, if you don’t mind, and you motion for him to go ahead. Your mind is fuzzy and having Gojo around seems to only make it worse.

When you walk past the bathroom and straight to your room, you hear Gojo humming that soft pop tune from a popular girl group on the radio earlier. You giggle, thinking it’s sweet—how he sings obnoxiously around everyone else but is admittedly pretty good when it’s just him, alone. 

You still have the rest of the weekend in this area, having agreed to monitor the site and any nearby locations for other suspicious activity, but at least the worst of it is over (maybe just to you though; Gojo hates paperwork). 

The sound of running water stops and you hear the bathroom door swing open. You don’t see Gojo when you exit your room but he leaves the door open to release any remaining steam.

There’s a reason why people say showers are good for the mind. You’re happy for those who’ve found it, but that couldn’t be you, because the only thought plaguing your head right now is Gojo—and whether you should greet him goodnight, if you should kiss his cheek or hug him tight. The tension between you now is palpable, an electric current waiting to zap on both ends. 

Your mind is so out of it that you don't realize you’re missing your skincare bag until after you finish brushing your teeth and dressing for bed. You open the bathroom door with the sole intention of going back to your room to get it, but instead, you’re met with a wall of chest.

Gojo’s eyes are wide, bright blue with damp strands of white falling like curtains barely shielding the sky. He’s just as surprised as you are, toothbrush in his hand as you hold up the towel wrapped around your head. 

You’ve seen Gojo in his pajamas many times before—white long sleeves with gray cotton pants, but your eyes trail to his collarbones and the way the bathroom lights cast it under a soft glow. The redness on his cheeks, a visual manifestation of the heat on yours. 

Gojo can’t stop staring at your lips, at how soft they look—at how soft you look fresh out of the shower. The little baby hairs sticking out under your towel are cute, and he leans in without knowing—a pull he can’t seem to resist. For once in his life, Gojo’s mind is still. 

You try to meet him halfway, tiptoeing, but you’re a little out of your element; you don’t know where to put your hands and your heart’s about to explode out of your chest. When your noses touch, you can’t breathe, closing your eyes while you wait for it. 

But it doesn’t come. 

You feel Gojo’s breath stilling before speeding up into little exhales. Something is wrong. You open your eyes and find him staring back at you, a version of Gojo you haven’t seen in a while—that you rarely see ever, except that day during your confrontation in his office. 

Concern laces your features and you move back a little, hands coming up to caress his cheeks. His eyes still look frantic, but they focus on you when you cup his face so gently. 

“Satoru,” you whisper, voice grounding. His breaths slow down a little. 

You realize that it must be true then, what they say, that those who love to be feared, fear to be loved, because you’ve never seen anyone afraid of something so good as Gojo is of this. 

“Satoru,” you repeat, massaging his temples with your thumb, “we don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

Gojo hates it, how you’ve always had to adjust for him. He hates that he can’t give you this one thing, hates that you’re still so patient, that he’s still so afraid. He swallows, closing his eyes tight before opening them again. 

“I want to,” he chokes out, “I just don’t know—”

You chuckle, without judgment, “I don’t either,” you lean forward, foreheads touching, “but do you want to try together?”

You learn that Gojo sees himself so differently from how you do—and maybe that’s everyone, but Gojo tends to say things while doing the other. He says he can’t bother with kids, but continues to take so many of them under his wing anyway; he calls your cereal concoction disgusting but tastes it regardless; and he says he can’t think about love, doesn’t know how, but proceeds to try so much harder, everyday. 

When you look at Gojo, you see a heart so big, so capable, that he can’t see it himself. 

You nudge his nose with yours and he breathes deeply, closing his eyes once again. If he doesn’t do this now, how much longer ‘till he does? 

Gojo hums before nodding his head slightly. His hands come up to cover yours, toothbrush wedged in the spaces between his fingers; they’re clammy, he’s sure, but he’s kept you waiting long enough. 

When you kiss Gojo for the first time, everything trembles—his pupils, his lips, the breath he takes. It’s all shaky and nervous, but your lips touch and all you know is that you like it there. He’s a little bit stiff but you don’t mind, pressing closer just for a little bit before pulling away. 

Gojo keeps your hands in place, half-lidded eyes staring at you lazily. His ears are fully red now but he’s giving you a look you’ve never seen before—like lightning crackling in the gaps between his eyelids. 

When you kiss Gojo for the first time, you don’t expect it to be by the bathroom door of a rented apartment, while away on a mission. You don’t expect it to be in your pajamas, towel wrapped around your hair as you’re getting ready for bed. You definitely don’t expect him to guide your hands down his neck while he places his on your lower back, squeezing lightly before pulling you in to kiss you again. 

This time, his lips move more pliantly, parting yours slightly; he tastes mint, mixed with the strawberry candy he had earlier and it’s nothing he could have ever imagined before, but is now everything he’s ever wanted. The push and pull between you is magnetic, soft lips and the intermingling of held breaths. All Gojo can think of now is to take, to devour—to keep you with him, like this, always. 

You wonder if Gojo is lying—that he’s never done this before, because you don’t think you can kiss anyone after this and not think of his lips on yours. 

By the time you part, the air is significantly warmer. Your fingers thread through the hair at the base of his neck and you smile, sighing. Gojo looks warm, with his swollen lips and flushed cheeks. 

“That…” you trail off, nudging his nose. 

Gojo looks at you fondly; to ever even think he could have this now, with you—he doesn’t believe in any higher being but you must be his prayer come true. 

“We can practice a bit more, I think.” he pulls you closer, hands gripping your hips. 

You feel it against you, something solid and firm against your stomach and your eyes go wide at the realization; Gojo does the same. 

“Satoru, you–” he moves back and freezes, untangling himself from you completely. There’s a faint outline on the crotch of his pants and your whole face goes red. 

“Let me use the bathroom real quick.” he panics, rushing past you and closing the bathroom door. 

You stand there stunned for a good minute before you shake out of it, laughing. Gojo yells about how you’re being so mean, making fun of him when he’s like this, but you aren’t—not really. 

It’s been a long time getting to this point with Gojo, but considering all things, you think, this might just be the beginning.

thank you notes: i would also like to shoutout @stellamancer for leaving such lovely comments on dybil that it actually kinda pushed me to write this longer piece connected to it!!

comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡