#yeah i'm still stuck on that because it's so fascinating of a concept to me tbh

[anticidic]

thinking (yet again) about the what-ifs had Chuuya been a real vampire

cause, like, I'm thinking he'd have moments of clarity where he's able to overcome the vampirism like how he's still semi-conscious through corruption.

something-something Dead Apple scene where he's able to recognize Dazai, say his name, and punch him and resist corruption's influence to just annihilate everything in sight, but it's vampirism and he oscillates between on the verge of attacking and sinking his teeth into Dazai and resisting. Chuuya just ambling through the corridors of Meursault and he's making inexplicable, feral noises but sometimes also calling for Dazai like nothing's wrong.

his eyes returning to normal for the BRIEFEST flicker before they glaze over and go back to being voids. or even just one of his eyes returning to normal so he has an eye that's normal and aware, and the other's still blank and red and very much not there. also thinking about how his time in the lab might affect how vampirism would work on him, and if it could be a case where that's why he's able to resist fully going under vampirism.

...would he just completely lose himself if he managed to activate corruption while under vampirism...or maybe through corruption he actually eradicates it—he almost bleeds out and dies from the corruption, but it purges the vampirism

[grifffins]

🔮 The Fool’s Journey (Into Trouble) 🔮 | Ch. 2

Lilia Calderu x fem!reader

summary: Y/N makes a questionable purchase, endures an evening of coven induced chaos, and shares an unexpectedly nice breakfast.

wc: 8.5k (Chapter 2/?)

a/n: i'm not entirely happy with this chap, but ngl i have way too much fun writing the coven, I’m sorry. The first half of this chapter is definitely coven heavy (because they’re chaotic and I love them), but don’t worry, towards the end is all about Lilia. again this one’s super dialogue heavy, which i'm not used to but honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to cut any of it without hating myself. Just a quick heads-up, there’s no smut yet, but this chapter does lean into some more mature themes 

Ch. 1 ch.3

also on ao3

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A week had passed since the Great Flirting Incident, and while Lilia hadn’t exactly acknowledged anything outright, I could tell something had shifted. She was watching me more closely now, little glances when she thought I wasn’t looking, the occasional pause before she called me baby like she was testing the waters. But she hadn’t made a move, and if I was being honest, I wasn’t sure she ever would.

So, naturally, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

It started with a simple realisation: Lilia Calderu was a woman stuck in another century. She still used a landline, still read newspapers, and still had absolutely no concept of modern convenience. I mean, she handwrites every single appointment into an actual paper planner. Who even does that anymore?

At first, it was just a passing thought, how much easier things would be for her if she had a smartphone. But the more I thought about it, the more it felt like the perfect excuse to do something nice for her. Something that wasn’t just flirting but actually, you know, helpful.

Which is why I found myself standing in the phone store, staring at a sleek smartphone display, wondering if I was about to change her life or ruin mine.

By the following morning, Lilia was perched at the counter, lazily shuffling her tarot cards with that effortless grace that made my heart do embarrassing things. She glanced up as the door jingled, eyes flicking to the small shopping bag in my hand.

“What’s this?” she asked, raising a delicate brow.

I placed the bag on the counter with a triumphant grin. “It’s about time you stepped into this decade, Calderu.”

She sighed, long and suffering. “Y/n, I don’t need —”

“You do,” I interrupted, pulling out the sleek black smartphone. “This? This is a miracle. You can set appointments, track orders, and get this, stop living in the dark ages.”

Lilia stared at the device like it might bite her. “I like my dark ages.”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, humour me. Think of it as an investment. For the shop.”

She exhaled dramatically but took the phone, turning it over in her hands with a look of mild disdain. “It’s so... modern. ”

“That’s the point.” I grinned. “And, because I care about y—” I stumbled, suddenly feeling awkward. “—because I care about... efficiency, I already programmed it with your contacts and the shop’s schedule.”

Lilia smirked, clearly enjoying my mortification. “Very thorough, baby.”

I flushed. “Just... try it.”

She sighed but started poking at the screen, and I watched, fascinated, as her brows furrowed in concentration. “Hmph. It’s... responsive.”

“That’s what touchscreens do.”

“Fascinating.”

I grinned, feeling victorious. “You’re welcome.”

Later that night, I sat on Agatha’s couch, nursing a drink and dramatically recounting my victory to the coven.

“She took the phone,” I said, gesturing grandly. “She even said it was fascinating. This is huge.”

Jen raised a brow. “You bought her a phone?”

“Yeah.”

Alice leaned in. “Like... an actual smartphone? ”

“Yes.”

Agatha, sipping her wine, smirked. “y/n. Baby. Darling.”

“What?”

“You have to sext her.”

I choked on my drink. “ WHAT?! ”

Billy, perched on the armrest of the couch, grinned. “I second this.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head vehemently. “Absolutely not.”

Agatha leaned forward, eyes glinting with mischief. “You cannot waste this opportunity.”

Alice covered her face with her hands. “Oh my God.”

Jen nodded sagely. “Listen, you’ve been pining after this woman for weeks. This is your moment.”

I gaped at them. “I bought her a phone so she could schedule tarot readings, not so I could send her—” I cut myself off, flushing furiously. “No. Not happening.”

Agatha smirked. “y/n.”

“No.”

“y/n.”

I groaned. “Guys, she doesn’t even like me like that.”

Billy scoffed. “She’s calling you baby every five minutes.”

“That’s just how she talks!”

Agatha shook her head. “Trust me, if she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t put up with your nonsense.”

I buried my face in my hands. “I hate all of you.”

Jen patted my back. “Just... test the waters. Send something flirty. Nothing too intense.”

“Like what?” I mumbled into my hands.

Billy grinned. “Something like ‘Hey, Lilia. Thinking about you. And also that tarot reading you owe me.’ ”

“That’s not sexting?” I arched my brow.

Agatha shrugged. “Baby steps, y/n. Baby steps.”

Alice, ever the voice of reason, chimed in. “Or you could, you know, just use the phone for its intended purpose.”

Agatha and Billy groaned in unison.

Jen smirked. “C’mon, y/n. You flirt with everyone else like it’s your day job. Why not just send a little something spicy?”

I shook my head furiously. “Absolutely not. I refuse.”

Agatha grinned wickedly. “Then hand me your phone.”

I snatched it away, glaring. “I will murder you.”

“Fine, fine,” Agatha said, leaning back with a sigh. “But mark my words, y/n, you will crack. And when you do, I expect details.”

I groaned, sinking deeper into the couch.

This was going to be a disaster.

Another morning, another shift, I found myself watching Lilia as she tapped away at her new phone with a surprising amount of focus. She was getting the hang of it faster than I’d expected, which only made me more nervous.

“Enjoying it?” I asked casually, leaning on the counter.

She glanced up, lips quirking. “It’s... useful.”

I smirked. “Told you so.”

Her eyes twinkled. “You’re quite persistent, baby.”

I swallowed hard. Don’t read into it. Don’t read into it.

Lilia left not long after, saying something about running errands and warning me not to rearrange her “perfectly organised” bookshelves while she was gone. I rolled my eyes, but as soon as the bell above the door chimed, I let out a breath.

I was halfway through dusting the crystal ball display when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Expecting a message from one of the chaos gremlins I called friends, I pulled it out without thinking, only for my stomach to drop.

New message from Lilia Calderu:"This phone might be useful after all. You’ve made me quite... curious."

I stared at the screen, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Oh no,” I whispered.

I could practically hear Agatha’s voice in my head.

You cannot waste this opportunity.

I didn’t respond to Lilia’s text. Not right away, at least. I told myself it was because I was busy, sorting inventory, helping customers, thinking about her like a lovesick idiot, but really, it was because I had no idea what to say.

"You’ve made me quite... curious."

What did that mean? Was she flirting? Was she just being her usual enigmatic self? Or was I reading too much into a perfectly innocent text from a woman who probably thought Wi-Fi was some kind of mystical energy?

I shoved my phone back into my pocket and spent the rest of the day pretending it didn’t exist.

Later that night, I gathered the coven at my place, pacing my living room as I relayed the situation.

“So she texted that, and I didn’t reply,” I finished, waving my phone around like it was cursed. “I just left her on read. ”

Agatha groaned, throwing her head back dramatically. “y/n. y/n. ”

Billy gasped. “You ghosted her?”

“It’s not ghosting if it’s only been a few hours!” I argued. “I needed... I needed time. ”

Jen stared at me like I was the dumbest person alive. “To do what, exactly?”

“Panic!” I exclaimed, throwing myself onto the couch. “You don’t understand! I can flirt with anyone, anyone, but it’s Lilia. She’s... Lilia. ”

Alice, sitting beside me, patted my knee with sympathy. “We know, y/n. But if you don’t reply soon, you’re going to look weird.”

Agatha sat forward, pointing at me with a knowing smirk. “You need to sext her.”

“No!” I practically shouted, scrambling to sit up. “We are not sexting!”

Billy grinned. “You cannot miss this opportunity.”

Jen crossed her arms. “y/n. Babe. If you don’t flirt back, she’s going to think you’re not interested.”

I groaned. “I am interested. I’m just not... ready to send the big guns. ”

Agatha rolled her eyes. “Fine. We’ll start small. What’s something flirty but not too flirty?”

Billy snapped his fingers. “Tell her you were thinking about her.”

I stared. “I’m not texting that.”

Alice suggested gently, “Maybe something like... ‘What exactly are you curious about?’”

Jen nodded approvingly. “Oh, that’s good. Leaves it open-ended.”

Agatha smirked. “And suggestive.”

I pointed at Alice. “I like that one. Safe. Respectable.”

Billy huffed. “Boring.”

I took a deep breath, typing it out slowly.

Me: What exactly are you curious about?

I stared at the screen, hovering over the send button. “Okay, I sent it. Wait, no, I can’t.” I threw my phone to Alice. “You send it.”

Alice sighed but hit send. “Done.”

I buried my face in my hands. “I hate this. This is awful. Why do people do this?”

Agatha snickered. “Because it’s fun.”

A moment later, my phone buzzed, and the entire group froze.

Billy’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, she replied already?”

I snatched my phone, heart pounding.

Lilia: You, mostly.

Silence.

Then chaos.

I just stared at the screen in pure, unadulterated panic. “WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT?”

Agatha grinned like the devil herself. “You say... ‘Only mostly?’”

Alice nodded. “Yes. Play it cool.”

I nodded slowly, fingers trembling. “Okay... okay.” I typed the words, hesitated, then hit send.

A minute passed. Another buzz.

Lilia: You do tend to take up a lot of space.

Billy fell to the floor. “WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”

Agatha cackled. “It means you’re living in her head rent-free. Y/n, if you don’t escalate this, I will.”

I groaned, pacing the room again. “Okay. Okay. I need to flirt back. How do I flirt back without looking desperate?”��

Jen smirked. “You are desperate.”

Alice offered, “Maybe... ‘I hope I’m not too much trouble.’”

Agatha groaned. “Boring. Say, ‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’”

“I’m not pushing it, Agatha.”

Billy grinned. “Coward.”

I sighed, typing Alice’s suggestion.

Me: I hope I’m not too much trouble.

Another buzz.

Lilia: Not yet.

I screamed into a pillow.

Agatha raised her glass. “Ladies and gentlemen... we got her.”

The next morning, I walked into the shop with my heart pounding in my chest, expecting— hoping —for some sort of acknowledgment from Lilia. Maybe a sly smile, a lingering look, or even a teasing comment about our texts.

Instead, I got... nothing.

“Morning, y/n,” she greeted me in her usual warm but distant tone, barely glancing up from rearranging a set of tarot decks.

I blinked. “Uh, morning.”

She didn’t say anything else. No mention of the texts, no coy smile, no baby. Just business as usual.

I busied myself at the counter, sneaking glances at her whenever I could. And while she seemed to be going out of her way to act normal, something was different. She stood closer to me when we worked together, her hands occasionally brushing mine when I passed her something. She touched my arm when she needed me to move, her fingers lingering for just a second longer than necessary.

But she didn’t say anything about it.

Not a damn thing.

And to make things worse, she kept casually reminding me of just how much older she was.

“You wouldn’t remember,” she said with a small chuckle when I asked about an old book she was dusting off. “It’s before your time.”

When I mentioned a show I’d been watching, she waved it off with a smirk. “Oh, y/n, that’s so... modern. I remember when television didn’t have color. ”

And when I tripped over my words trying to ask her a question, she just gave me that small, infuriating smile and murmured, “Ah, youth.”

It was driving me insane.

That night, I gathered with the coven at Agatha’s, pacing the living room like a woman on the edge. “She’s driving me crazy, ” I groaned, throwing myself onto the couch dramatically.

Jen raised an eyebrow. “She didn’t mention the texts at all? ”

“Not even once! ” I threw my hands in the air. “It’s like they never happened! And yet she’s touching me more than ever, but at the same time, she keeps bringing up how ancient she is.”

Agatha smirked. “Ah, classic ‘I’m too old for you’ defense.”

Billy frowned. “Wait, you think she’s doing it on purpose?”

Alice nodded thoughtfully. “It sounds like she’s trying to create distance without actually pulling away.”

I groaned into a pillow. “So what does that mean? She’s interested but scared?”

Jen hummed. “Maybe. Or she could just be screwing with you.”

Agatha sipped her wine. “Or hear me out—she’s waiting for you to push past the age thing.”

I peeked out from the pillow. “Push past it how? ”

Billy grinned. “Flirt harder.”

I sat up. “I don’t think I can flirt harder, Billy.”

Agatha leaned in with a devilish grin. “Then you make her realise age doesn’t matter.”

Jen smirked. “And how exactly does she do that?”

Agatha’s eyes gleamed. “Confidence. You show her you’re mature, and that she’s the one wasting time over nothing.”

I frowned. “And if she’s genuinely not interested?”

Alice squeezed my hand. “Then at least you’ll know for sure.”

Billy nudged me. “Look, the way she texts you... she’s interested, y/n. No way she’s not.”

I sighed. “I just... I don’t want to push her if she’s uncomfortable.”

Agatha rolled her eyes. “y/n. She’s not uncomfortable. She’s hesitant. There’s a difference.”

Jen nodded. “You just need to show her that you’re serious, that you’re not some wide-eyed kid crushing on her.”

I groaned again. “So what do I do?”

Agatha grinned. “You step up your game. And I have just the plan.”

The shop was quiet this afternoon, the scent of incense curling through the air as I busied myself restocking the shelves. Lilia sat behind the counter, flipping through a book, her brow furrowed in quiet concentration. It was a peaceful kind of day until the bell above the door chimed, and I looked up, nearly dropping the stack of crystals in my hands.

I froze.

Standing in the doorway, looking just as poised and elegant as ever, was my ex.

“Oh my God,” I muttered under my breath.

She blinked, then smiled in genuine surprise. “y/n?”

Lilia glanced up at the exchange, her expression pleasantly neutral, though I noticed the way her fingers paused mid-page turn.

I forced a smile, setting down the crystals. “Hey! Wow, uh... what are you doing here?”

She laughed lightly, brushing a lock of dark hair behind her ear. “A friend of mine recommended this place. Said the tarot readings here were... life-changing. ”

Agatha, you absolute menace.

Before I could explain, Lilia stood, offering one of her usual polite smiles. “A friend of y/n’s?”

My ex turned to her, all charm and grace. “Oh no, dear,” she said with a small chuckle, resting a hand on the counter. “I’m her ex.”

Silence.

Absolute, deafening silence.

Lilia’s lips parted slightly, her eyes widening just a fraction before she masked it with a practiced blink. “Oh,” she said slowly, clearly recalibrating. “I see.” Her eyes flicked between us, and then, with an almost surgical precision, she added, “Aren’t you... a little old?”

I internally screamed.

My ex, to her credit, handled it with an amused smile. “It was perfectly legal, I assure you.”

Lilia’s gaze didn’t waver. “Hm.”

I coughed awkwardly, feeling my face heat. “We, uh... it was a while ago.”

Lilia didn’t respond, just continued observing me with that unreadable expression of hers, her hands resting lightly on the counter.

My ex gave me a lingering smile. “You look good, y/n. It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has,” I said, shifting uncomfortably under Lilia’s silent gaze. “How have you been?”

“Busy,” she replied with a casual shrug. “But I won’t keep you, I just wanted to check the place out. It’s lovely. I’ll be sure to come back when I have time for a tarot reading.” She smiled politely at Lilia. “I see y/n’s in good hands.” She added.

Lilia’s lips twitched, but she only nodded. “Naturally.”

I was pretty sure I was sweating at this point. “Uh, yeah, well, good seeing you. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” she said with a lingering smile before heading out the door with a soft chime of the bell.

The moment she was gone, I turned to Lilia, ready to explain but she was already facing away from me, carefully aligning a deck of tarot cards that didn’t need aligning.

Silence stretched between us, heavy and thick.

I cleared my throat. “Sooo... that happened.”

Lilia hummed noncommittally, her focus apparently glued to the cards in her hands. “Indeed.”

I shifted awkwardly. “You okay?”

She glanced at me, her expression perfectly composed but her eyes just a little too sharp. “I’m fine, baby.”

Baby. I nearly sighed in relief at the sound of it, but something about the way she said it, softer, more thoughtful made my stomach twist.

“You sure? You’re, uh... being quiet.”

She smiled faintly, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Just... thinking.”

I frowned, watching her closely. “About?”

She didn’t answer right away, instead carefully setting the tarot deck down before meeting my gaze. “I suppose I’m just... surprised.”

“Surprised?” I echoed.

Lilia tilted her head, her expression unreadable again. “You didn’t strike me as someone who dated... older women.”

I laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. “Uh... surprise?”

Lilia studied me for a long moment, her lips pressing together like she was considering something. “I see.”

And then, without another word, she turned back to her work, and I was left standing there, feeling like I had somehow lost a game I didn’t even know we were playing.

By nightfall, I was back at Agatha’s, crashing onto her couch, groaning dramatically. “Agatha, you suck. ”

She grinned over her wine glass. “You’re welcome.”

Jen shook her head. “So let me get this straight, you saw your ex, Lilia found out, and now she’s acting weird? ”

“Weird,” I confirmed, running a hand through my hair. “She’s quiet. Too quiet. And she kept bringing up the age thing before, but now she’s, like, really leaning into it.”

Billy grinned. “So she’s jealous.”

I groaned. “I don’t know! She’s not saying anything. She’s just being all... introspective.”

Agatha smirked. “Oh, she’s spiraling.”

Alice gave me a sympathetic look. “Maybe she’s just processing. I mean, you’re younger, and she’s probably overthinking it.”

“She is overthinking it,” I muttered. “And I don’t know what to do!”

Jen sipped her drink. “You flirt with her more.”

Billy nodded. “Exactly. Show her age means nothing.”

I sighed. “I don’t know if I can just—”

Agatha cut me off. “y/n. Look at me.”

I looked.

“You are hot. You are charming. And you have successfully dated an older woman before. ”

I winced. “Thanks for the reminder.”

She grinned. “Lilia Calderu is not immune to you. Trust me. She’s just panicking because now she knows she’s not the first older woman you’ve been interested in.”

Alice chimed in gently, “She might have been telling herself the age thing was a reason not to get involved with you. And now? She’s realising it’s not a reason at all.”

I blinked. “You think?”

Agatha smirked. “I know. ”

Billy fist-pumped. “So, new plan?”

I sighed, staring at my phone, where Lilia’s name sat in my recent messages. “New plan,” I mumbled. “Step up the flirting.”

Agatha raised her glass. “To y/n’s romantic conquest!”

I groaned. This was going to be so much worse than the texting.

I walked into the shop with renewed determination. Last night’s pep talk with the coven had me feeling... well, mostly confident. At least confident enough to step up my game and make it clear to Lilia that the whole age thing? Not an issue. I had a plan, flirt, be charming, and maybe, just maybe , get her to acknowledge whatever was happening between us.

Except life, as usual, had other plans.

The moment I walked in, the shop was packed. A line of customers at the counter, others browsing the shelves, and Lilia, poised, composed, and completely absorbed in reading after reading.

I blinked. “Since when do we get this busy?”

She didn’t answer, of course. Lilia never spoke during a reading, but the way she glanced up at me before flipping over a card for the woman in front of her said enough.

I sighed, shoving my bag behind the counter. 

After the reading, she finally looked up, smoothing her hands over the table. “It’s the full moon tomorrow. People are... searching.”

“Of course they are.”

So much for my grand seduction plan.

I tried, though. Between organising stock and ringing up sales, I threw in little comments. A brush of my hand here, a sly smile there. But Lilia? She was avoiding me like it was her new favorite hobby.

Every time I moved toward her, she shifted her attention to a customer. When I leaned against the counter, trying to catch her eye, she breezed past me with a murmured, “Excuse me, baby.”

And when I finally managed to get close enough to remind her about my plans, she barely registered it.

“Hey, don’t forget I have to leave early tomorrow,” I said, leaning in slightly. “Agatha’s art gallery thing, remember? I told you last week.”

Lilia, scanning a book title, nodded absently. “Mhm. That’s fine, baby.”

I frowned. “Lilia, Agatha will kill me if I miss it.”

Still no real reaction. “You’ll be fine.”

And just like that, she was gone again, moving to help another customer without a second glance.

I stared after her, utterly baffled. She was always attentive when I talked to her, always teasing or throwing in some cryptic comment to keep me on my toes. But today? Today, she was distant. Aloof. And it was driving me insane.

By the end of the day, I was ready to scream.

I stomped into Agatha’s that evening, slumping onto the couch in pure defeat. “She’s avoiding me.”

Agatha didn’t even look up from her wine. “Told you she’d spiral.”

Billy, sprawled on the floor with a tarot deck, flipped over a random card and smirked. “I predict that she’s freaking out.”

Jen raised an eyebrow. “You got all that from the cards?”

“No, I got that from common sense,” Billy said, grinning.

Alice offered me a sympathetic smile. “Maybe she’s just busy?”

I threw my hands in the air. “No, Alice. She’s strategically avoiding me. I tried everything today. Every time I got close, she found something else to do.”

Jen winced. “Ouch. So what’s the plan now?”

Agatha set down her wine, eyes gleaming. “Simple. You keep going.”

I groaned. “Agatha.”

“No, listen,” she insisted, sitting up. “If she’s avoiding you, that means she felt something yesterday. And now she’s panicking.”

Billy grinned. “So what you’re saying is... push harder?”

I groaned again. “You guys want me to die.”

Agatha leaned back, grinning. “You’ve survived worse.”

I sighed. “I told her I was leaving early for your thing tomorrow. She barely reacted.”

Agatha smirked. “Good. Because tomorrow, my dear y/n, she’s going to realise just how much she hates it when you’re not around.”

Alice smiled kindly. “Maybe a little space will make her see what she’s missing.”

I stared at the ceiling. “I hate all of you.”

Billy grinned. “We know.”

As soon as I stepped into the shop again, it felt like déjà vu. But thankfully today the shop was quiet. Not many customers, just the quiet hum of the incense burner. And, of course, Lilia still expertly dodging me like it was her life’s mission.

I tried to be casual about it, leaning on the counter and watching her pretend to be absorbed in inventory she’d probably memorised years ago. “Hey, mind if I use your place to get ready for Agatha’s thing later?” I asked, keeping my voice light.

She didn’t even look up, just nodded. “Of course. The spare key’s behind the counter.”

I resisted the urge to sigh. “Thanks.”

And just like that, she was back to pretending I didn’t exist.

I stared at her for a moment, resisting the urge to say something more, something to break through whatever walls she was so determined to put up. But instead, I just grabbed the spare key and headed into the back.

Lilia’s space was tucked behind the shop, a cozy, cluttered little place filled with books, candles, and an endless supply of robes draped over various furniture pieces. I didn’t think much of it as I changed into the dress Agatha had practically forced me to wear. The dress hugged every inch of me in all the right places, the deep shade accentuating my skin in a way that even I had to admit was... impressive.

I slipped on my heels, applied my red lipstick with a steady hand, and fixed my hair until it fell just right. I wasn’t trying to do anything, this was just getting ready for Agatha’s event but even I could admit I looked good.

With one last glance in the mirror, I grabbed my things and stepped back into the shop.

Lilia was standing behind the counter, flipping through a book, seemingly lost in thought. She didn’t look up at first.

And then she did.

I watched the reaction unfold in slow motion, the way her eyes lifted, trailing up from the hem of my dress to my legs, then higher, higher, until they reached my face. Then she looked down, as if to double-check what she’d just seen. And then— snap —right back up again, her head jerking so fast I swore she almost gave herself whiplash.

Her lips parted slightly, and for the first time ever, she said absolutely nothing.

I bit back a smile and walked over to the counter, heels clicking against the wooden floor, and held out the keys. “Thanks for letting me use your place.”

Lilia’s fingers closed around the keys, but she didn’t look away. Her dark eyes dragged over me again, slower this time, like she was trying to take it all in, maybe even commit it to memory.

There was something in the way she was looking at me, like she was working up the courage to say something. Her mouth opened slightly, and for a split second, I thought she might finally break her silence.

And then, right on cue, the door chimed.

“y/n, darling!” Agatha’s voice was as bright and smug as ever as she strolled in, wearing a knowing smile that only deepened when she saw the way Lilia was staring at me. “Look at you.”

Lilia’s gaze snapped away, and just like that, the moment was gone.

Agatha’s arm linked through mine, her grin positively feral as she turned to Lilia. “I’m stealing her for the night. Hope you don’t mind.”

Lilia finally spoke, her voice softer than usual. “Not at all.”

I turned to her with a small smile. “Bye, Lilia.”

She nodded, still looking at me like she wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Goodnight, baby.”

Agatha practically dragged me out of the shop, and as soon as the door shut behind us, she let out a low whistle.

“Holy shit, y/n.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Yeah, yeah.”

“No, no, did you see her face?” Agatha cackled, practically vibrating with glee. “I think you just aged her a decade.”

I groaned. “She didn’t even say anything.”

Agatha rolled her eyes, starting the car. “Oh, honey, she didn’t need to. That woman was devouring you with her eyes.”

I bit my lip, staring out the window. “You think?”

“I know. ”

And honestly? I really, really hoped she was right.

The night with Agatha was exactly what I needed. I loved things like this, dressing up, feeling the buzz of conversation, the soft glow of lights reflecting off expensive paintings, and the effortless way I fit into it all. There was something about the atmosphere, about the way people looked at me, that made me feel alive. And, of course, Agatha basked in it too, sipping her wine with a smirk and throwing me knowing looks every time someone complimented my dress.

"You clean up dangerously well, darling," she whispered at one point, nudging me with her elbow. "No wonder Lilia nearly combusted."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't fight the heat creeping up my neck. "She didn't combust."

Agatha just grinned. "She will."

After the event wrapped up, Agatha, never one to let a good night end too soon, insisted on a celebratory gathering at her place. It didn't take much convincing—Billy, Jen, and Alice were already in, and honestly, I loved being around them. Nights like this were rare, and I soaked it in, lounging on Agatha’s plush couch with a glass of wine in hand while she dramatically recounted the events of the night.

"And then," Agatha said, eyes sparkling with mischief, "she walked out of that little back room, looking absolutely devastating, and I swear to you, Lilia nearly dropped dead. "

Jen gasped in delight. "Shut up. "

Billy, sprawled out on the floor with his arms behind his head, grinned. "I knew it. I knew she couldn’t handle it."

Alice, ever the voice of calm, smiled softly. "She really didn't say anything?"

I groaned, covering my face with my hands. "Not a word. She just... stared. "

Agatha smirked. "Stared? Honey, that woman was devouring you with her eyes."

Jen cackled. "So what’s the next move, y/n? Do we escalate?"

"I don't know!" I groaned. "She’s been weird all week, avoiding me, and now this? What does it even mean? "

Billy rolled onto his side. "It means she’s cracking."

"She’s definitely cracking," Jen agreed. "And if you play your cards right, she’ll snap soon enough."

I sighed, swirling my wine. "I don’t want to push her if she’s uncomfortable, though. If she’s really that caught up about the age thing—"

Agatha waved me off. "Oh, please. She’s not uncomfortable. She’s terrified. "

"Terrified?" I frowned.

"Terrified because she knows you could wreck her entire world, and she wouldn’t stand a chance." Agatha leaned in with a wicked smile. "And she likes being in control, doesn’t she?"

I opened my mouth to argue, but my phone buzzed, cutting through the conversation. My heart leapt into my throat.

I glanced down, and there it was.

Lilia: Let me know when you get home safe.

I stared at the screen, the words blurring slightly as my heart hammered against my ribs.

Billy sat up instantly. "Who is it?"

I swallowed hard. "Lilia."

The room erupted.

"Oh my God," Jen practically shrieked, grabbing my arm. "She texted you?! "

Agatha grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Oh, she’s gone. "

I blinked, staring at the message. "It’s just... she wants to make sure I’m okay."

Agatha snatched the phone from my hand, reading the message aloud in a dramatic tone. "Let me know when you get home safe." She gasped theatrically. "Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve entered the protective phase. "

I groaned, grabbing my phone back. "It’s not a big deal."

Jen poked me. "y/n. Babe. This is a huge deal. She’s thinking about you right now. She’s picturing you coming home, kicking off your heels, and—"

"Okay, that’s enough," I muttered, my face burning.

Billy smirked. "But seriously, what are you gonna say back?"

I stared at the message again, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. "I don’t know. What do I even say? "

Agatha leaned in with a devious grin. "Simple. ‘Wish you were here.’"

I shot her a glare. "I’m not sexting her."

Alice smiled. "You could just say, ‘I will, thanks for checking in.’ Casual, but lets her know you appreciate it."

Jen hummed. "Or... you could send a little something extra. Not too flirty, just enough to keep her thinking."

I sighed. "You guys are terrible influences."

Billy shrugged. "We know."

I rolled my eyes but typed out a response anyway.

Me: Thanks, Lilia. I will. You're sweet for checking in.

I hovered over the send button, heart racing, before pressing it.

The room watched in silent anticipation.

Billy grinned. "And now we wait."

I stared at my phone, willing it to buzz again. The coven had gone back to their usual antics. Billy was dramatically narrating the highlights of Agatha’s gallery event, Jen was critiquing the wine selection, and Agatha was lounging with a satisfied smirk, clearly pleased with her own meddling.

But me? I was glued to my screen, staring at Lilia’s last message like it held the secrets of the universe.

And then, finally, my phone buzzed.

Lilia: Please let me know if I need to send the police out.

I snorted, shaking my head. “She’s threatening to call the cops on me.”

Billy perked up. “That’s sexy.”

I sighed, typing out a response.

Me: I’m at Agatha’s, staying here tonight.

A moment later, another buzz.

Lilia: Good. Glad you’re safe.

I exhaled, a small smile tugging at my lips. But before I could even process it, another message popped up.

Lilia: How did the night go?

The coven erupted.

“Oh my God, ” Jen gasped, grabbing my arm. “She’s fishing. ”

“Grandma’s up past her bedtime, ” Agatha grinned, swirling her wine. “Probably already touching herself thinking about y/n and that red lipstick.”

I choked on my drink. “ Agatha! ”

Billy cackled, rolling onto his side. “I mean, she did see you in that dress. You think she just went to sleep after that? Hell no.”

Alice, blushing furiously, covered her face. “Oh my God, guys.”

I groaned, glaring at them. “Can you all not? She’s being nice, that’s all.”

Agatha smirked. “Sweetheart, people don’t stay up texting their employees at midnight just to be nice. ”

Jen waved a hand. “Yeah, no one’s buying that. She’s sitting at home, staring at her phone, probably replaying that double take she did when you walked out in that dress.”

Billy wagged his brows. “Lilia Calderu: palm reader by day, handsy old woman by night.”

I buried my face in my hands. “I hate all of you.”

Agatha grinned. “No, you love us. Now text her back. Be flirty, y/n.”

I peeked out from my hands. “What do I even say?”

Jen, ever the strategist, leaned in. “Keep it casual but suggestive. Something like, ‘It was good. Would’ve been better if you were there.’”

Billy gasped. “Yes, yes, YES.”

Alice shook her head. “That’s too much. Maybe just say, ‘It went well, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.’”

Agatha snorted. “Boring.”

I sighed, staring at my phone. “Fine. I’ll go with something... middle ground.”

I typed, biting my lip.

Me: It went well. I think I made an impression.

The coven leaned in, waiting as I hovered over the send button. I rolled my eyes and hit it.

We all stared at the screen, waiting.

My phone buzzed again.

Lilia: I have no doubt you did, baby.

I froze, and the coven lost it.

I swallowed hard, my fingers trembling over the keyboard. “I think I’m going to die.”

Agatha grinned. “Not before you sext her back. ”

I stared at my phone, heart hammering in my chest, Lilia’s message practically burning into my screen.

I turned to the coven, wide-eyed and completely at a loss. “What do I say? What do I say?! ”

Alice sighed. “Keep it playful. Like, ‘Good to know my reputation precedes me.’”

Agatha smirked. “Or—and hear me out—‘I leave a mark wherever I go... want me to leave my mark on you?’”

I groaned, grabbing my phone back. “You all suck.”

Billy grinned. “And yet you keep asking for our help.”

I rolled my eyes but typed anyway, fingers trembling just slightly.

Me: Good to know my reputation precedes me.

A collective sigh of satisfaction rippled through the group as I hit send.

We all stared at the screen again. Silence. Then...

Lilia: It does. Quite the reputation, indeed.

Jen gasped. “OH. MY. GOD. ”

Agatha laughed, draping herself dramatically over the couch. “y/n, darling, you are killing her.”

I couldn’t fight the smile stretching across my lips, warmth spreading through me.

Alice giggled. “This is so cute.”

Billy nodded sagely. “It’s not cute, Alice. It’s sexy. ”

We kept chatting for a while longer, Agatha tossing out increasingly absurd suggestions that I shot down one by one, and eventually, we all crashed, smiles on our faces, hearts full, and just enough teasing to ensure I wouldn’t get a moment’s peace tomorrow.

It was so fucking early. Too early. The kind of early that felt like a personal attack.

I woke up to the sharp smell of coffee and the unmistakable sound of Billy and Jen bickering, their voices cutting through the dawn like they had no concept of time—or mercy. My brain protested every second of consciousness, but I managed to peel myself off the couch, blinking blearily.

After some groggy, half-conscious hugs and a round of mumbled promises to update each other, we all stumbled our separate ways, the world outside still drenched in that unsettling, pre-sunrise gloom.

And then... I was home. Alone.

And I was bored.

I wasn’t at the shop today, which meant I had absolutely no distractions. No tarot cards to organise, no shelves to restock, and, most importantly, no Lilia. I found myself pacing my apartment, debating whether it would be too much to text her again, but the thought made me cringe.

I needed an excuse. Something casual.

I chewed my lip, glancing at my keys. And then it hit me.

Lilia loved this little Italian pastry place across town, she mentioned it once in passing, some small hole-in-the-wall bakery that she claimed made the best sfogliatelle she’d had since leaving Sicily.

Before I could overthink it, I grabbed my coat and drove across town.

By the time I reached the shop, the Closed sign was still hanging on the door. It was early, too early for the shop to be open yet, but I knocked anyway, clutching the warm box of pastries in my hands.

A few seconds passed, and then the door creaked open.

Lilia stood there in a robe— a robe.

A silky, deep burgundy robe that clung to her in ways that made my brain short-circuit. Her dark curls were loose, tumbling over her shoulders, and she looked... soft. Sleepy.

And I was the one speechless now.

“y/n?” she murmured, brow furrowing in confusion.

I swallowed hard, trying to remember how to form words. “Uh... I brought breakfast.” I held up the box like an offering, as if that explained why I was standing outside her shop at an ungodly hour.

She stared at me for a beat, then at the pastries, and then back at me. Without a word, she stepped aside, opening the door wider.

I stepped inside, the familiar scent of the shop mingling with the faint, warm scent of her.

Lilia gestured to the small table in the corner where we usually sat with tea. “Sit,” she said softly, closing the door behind me.

I obeyed, setting the pastries down as she disappeared into the back for a moment. When she returned, she had two mugs of coffee in hand, sliding one across the table to me.

“Thought you had today off,” she said, finally breaking the silence.

I shrugged, unboxing the pastries. “I do. I just... thought you’d like these.”

Her lips twitched. “From my favorite place?”

I grinned. “I listen.”

She picked up one of the pastries, inspecting it like she was deciding if I’d done a good job. Then she took a bite, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “You really do listen.”

I laughed softly, watching her. “So, how’d the shop do without me yesterday?”

Lilia smirked. “It survived.”

We ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the tension from the night before melting into something more familiar. She asked about the gallery, my friends, the art. I told her about Billy’s ridiculous art commentary and Agatha’s smug satisfaction.

“You have good friends,” she said after a while, stirring her coffee thoughtfully.

“They’re the best,” I agreed, smiling.

She sipped her coffee, watching me over the rim of the mug with those dark, knowing eyes. “And they care about you... a lot.”

I shrugged. “I care about them too.”

Something flickered in her expression, but before I could ask, she glanced at the clock and sighed. “You should probably head back before they start wondering where you are.”

I pouted. “Are you kicking me out?”

Her lips twitched. “I’m saying your fan club will miss you.”

I rolled my eyes, taking the hint, and stood to gather my things. “Fine, fine. I’ll let you get ready to open.”

Lilia smirked, walking me to the door. “Smart choice, baby.”

I paused in the doorway, turning to her. “Thanks for letting me crash your morning.”

She leaned against the doorframe, her gaze soft but unreadable. “Anytime.”

I left with a flutter in my chest, already thinking about what excuse I could come up with to see her again.

The evening was quiet, just me and the soft hum of the TV filling the apartment. I was curled up on the couch, half-watching some crime drama, the kind where the detectives always figure things out way too fast. My mind kept drifting back to this morning, Lilia in that robe, the way she’d looked at me, the way her lips had curled around the edge of her coffee cup like she was considering something she wouldn’t say out loud.

I sighed, sinking deeper into the cushions, telling myself to stop overthinking.

And then my phone buzzed.

I glanced at the screen, expecting a text from one of the coven, but my brows furrowed at the sender.

Lilia Calderu.

I sat up a little straighter, unlocking my phone.

The message? Absolute gibberish.

“fhbgggjkkjj”

I blinked.

I stared at it.

I blinked again.

I typed back quickly.

Me: Lilia? Everything okay?

No response.

I stared at my phone, waiting.

Still nothing.

I chewed on my lip, debating if I should call her, when—

RING.

I nearly dropped the phone as Lilia’s name flashed across the screen.

I fumbled to answer, pressing it to my ear. “Lilia?”

Nothing. Just... breathing.

Shaky, uneven breathing.

And then—

A whimper.

My entire body froze.

Another sound, soft and needy, and—

A low, drawn-out moan.

I choked on air, clutching the phone so tightly my knuckles turned white. My mouth went completely dry.

There was no mistaking what I was hearing. No way.

I opened my mouth to say something— anything —but before I could, the line went dead.

I stared at the phone like it had just burst into flames in my hand.

“No. No way,” I whispered to myself, blinking rapidly.

This... this had to be an accident. Maybe she sat on her phone? Maybe—maybe she was watching a... video or something? Yeah, I thought, nodding to myself. That makes sense. Probably just a mistake.

A completely innocent, totally not deliberate mistake.

My phone stayed silent in my hands, and I sat there for about 20 minutes, just processing.

And then my phone buzzed again.

Lilia: Ignore that.

I gawked at the screen.

Ignore that?

Like it was just some minor inconvenience?

My fingers trembled as I typed back.

Me: …Okay?

There was a long pause.

Then, finally—

Lilia: Goodnight, baby.

I groaned, falling back against the couch, covering my face with my hands.

“She’s going to kill me.”

I barely slept that night. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard it, the soft whimper, the breathy moan, the way the call cut off before I could even process what was happening. My mind replayed it over and over, dissecting every second until I convinced myself it had to be a mistake.

Lilia had to have accidentally pocket dialed me. There was no way she’d do something like that on purpose. Right?

By the time morning rolled around, I was a mess, over-caffeinated, under-rested, and dreading what was going to happen when I walked into the shop.

I took a deep breath before pushing the door open, bracing myself for something, anything awkwardness, a comment, maybe even a cryptic remark about phones.

But when I walked in, Lilia was already behind the counter, counting the till like nothing had happened.

“Morning, y/n,” she said casually, not even looking up.

I froze for a second. “Uh... morning.”

She glanced up, arching a brow at my hesitation. “Are you alright?”

I stared at her, searching for any hint of discomfort or amusement anything that would give away the fact that she absolutely knew what she did last night. But she just looked... normal. Unbothered. As if she hadn’t called me in the middle of the night and—

I cleared my throat, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Just... didn’t sleep well.”

Lilia hummed knowingly. “Ah, too much excitement from your art gala adventure the previous night?”

I blinked. Was that... was that a dig? I couldn't tell.

“Something like that,” I muttered, setting my bag down behind the counter.

She straightened up and gave me one of her usual, polite smiles. “I need you to organise the crystal display today. People keep moving things around, and it’s driving me crazy.”

I stared at her, waiting for something, some sly comment, some subtle hint that she knew.

Nothing.

She just handed me a cloth and gestured toward the shelves like it was any other day.

I nodded slowly, taking it from her. “Sure. I can do that.”

Lilia’s lips quirked, and she patted my shoulder lightly. “Good girl.”

The words slipped from Lilia’s lips like they meant nothing, like they weren’t currently wreaking absolute havoc on my nervous system.

I gripped the cloth in my hands so tight I was surprised it didn’t disintegrate. My entire body was in overdrive, my brain short-circuiting in real-time, because after last night, after hearing that noise, after spending all night dissecting it from every possible angle, there was no way I could process her saying that without losing my mind.

And yet, Lilia carried on like she hadn’t just set me on fire.

She hummed to herself as she floated across the shop, rearranging candles with her usual air of elegant chaos, soft, sophisticated, yet somehow still completely kooky. She muttered something under her breath about “people putting things in the wrong places” and shot the candles a scolding look, as if they were responsible.

Meanwhile, I stood there, trying to act like my entire worldview hadn’t shifted overnight.

She didn’t know. She couldn’t know.

There was no way she had butt-dialled me on purpose, right? No way she knew what I’d heard. But what if she suspected? What if she was saying things like good girl just to watch me unravel? Was I unraveling? It definitely felt like I was unraveling.

“You’re awfully quiet.”

Lilia’s voice cut through my spiralling thoughts, and I nearly jumped, clutching the cloth like it was a lifeline.

“I’m—I'm fine,” I croaked, too fast, too awkward.

She glanced at me with a raised brow, then tilted her head, curls slipping over her shoulder in that careless, elegant way she always managed. “Mm.” Her lips quirked, amused but not prying, yet. “If you say so.”

I nodded too quickly, ducking my head and wiping the same spot on the shelf three times. Play it cool. Play it cool. She doesn’t know.

Lilia, completely oblivious to the chaos in my head, twirled one of her rings around her finger absentmindedly, watching me with a curious little smile. “You really didn’t sleep well, did you?”

I froze. Oh god. “What makes you say that?”

She shrugged, returning to fussing with the display, adjusting a vase by a fraction of an inch before stepping back with a satisfied nod. “You’ve got that look.”

“What look?” I tried to keep my voice casual, but I was fairly sure I sounded like I was moments away from combusting.

Lilia turned, resting her elbows on the counter and watching me with a thoughtful expression. “The same one you get when you’re overthinking things. Your brow does this little... crinkle.”

My hand shot up to my forehead instinctively. “It does not.”

Her lips twitched. “Oh, it does.”

I groaned under my breath, focusing aggressively on the shelf in front of me. “It’s nothing. Just... a long night.”

She hummed knowingly. “Ah, still recovering from the art gala. I imagine it was... stimulating. Those events tend to linger, don’t they.”

I choked. “What?”

Lilia blinked, completely innocent. “The art. Your friends.” She paused. “The drinks?”

I stared at her, searching for even the tiniest flicker of something, anything , that might indicate she was toying with me. But she just looked... normal. Perfectly composed. Like she hadn’t called me in the middle of the night and—

I swallowed hard, nodding. “Yeah. Stimulating.”

Lilia tilted her head, eyes twinkling. “You’re acting strange.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.” She leaned a little closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “Are you in trouble? Did you get up to mischief?”

My entire existence was mischief at this point. “No.”

Lilia pursed her lips, clearly not convinced, but she didn’t press. Instead, she gently adjusted the sleeve of her robe, glancing at the clock. “Well, whatever it is, baby, I’m sure it’ll sort itself out.”

There it was again. Baby. My knees nearly gave out.

I swallowed hard, gripping the edge of the shelf. Focus.

To make things worse, she strolled over, close enough that I could smell the faint scent of her, something warm, a little floral, a little spicy, something that was so Lilia it made my head spin. She picked up a crystal from the display I was supposed to be fixing and turned it over in her hands.

“This one’s nice,” she mused, running her fingers along the edges. Then, without missing a beat, she handed it to me. “For stress.”

I blinked. “I’m not stressed.”

She smiled, and it was the kind of smile that said she knew I was lying through my teeth. “Of course not.”

I took the crystal anyway, staring at it like it might offer me some divine clarity.

Lilia lingered for a moment longer, then gave a satisfied nod. “Well, I’m off to pretend I’m being productive in the back. Call if you need me.”

I watched her disappear behind the curtain, releasing the breath I didn’t realise I was holding. The second she was out of sight, I dropped my head onto the counter and groaned into my arms.

What the hell was I supposed to do with this?

She didn’t know.

And yet, somehow, it felt like she was winning a game I didn’t even know we were playing.

I sighed, rolling the crystal in my palm, muttering under my breath. “Progress. It’s progress.”

Because she wasn’t avoiding me. And if this was how she wanted to play it?

Fine. Two could play that game.

For now.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

i read your horcrux post, its fascinating and very well done! im just stuck on one thing: while i agree that tom definitely has a good share of self-hatred, enough to cause himself pain and endure an agonising process to become immortal, doesnt the whole idea of "killing yourself" for the ritual seem very risky? like what if you actually die lmao then the whole thing was all for naught. i mean i can also see him being confident and arrogant enough to believe he COULD do it without mistakes, but still. seems like a big risk considering his whole shtick is avoiding death as far as possible. anyway thank you for all your metas they are very enjoyable to read and think about!!!

Thank you so much! 💕 I'm glad you liked my Horcrux theory, it's one of the earliest ones I made here and I'm still pretty proud of it.

As for the risk — yeah, it is incredibly risky, that's kind of the point. This is a ritual we know Tom was crazy to attempt multiple times, a ritual in-universe that even just doing it once is considered insanely risky and potentially damaging, not to mention multiple times:

‘Of the Horcrux, wickedest of magical inventions, we shall not speak nor give direction. ...’I mean, why mention it then?” she said impatiently, slamming the old book shut;

(HBP)

That was what you told me he said. ‘Further than anybody,’ And I thought I knew what that meant, though the Death Eaters did not. He was referring to his Horcruxes, Horcruxes in the plural, Harry, which I do not believe any other wizard has ever had. 

(HBP) - only part of the quote since the rest of Dumbles' analysis of Voldemort's character in the above section is questionable.

JKR stated in an interview there is a final horrible step that must be taken to make a Horcrux, something beyond just murder. Cannibalism, physical self-mutilation, or masturbating over the corpse (Yes, I have read this theory somewhere) don't make sense because then Harry couldn't become a Horcrux. It doesn't really leave us with many possibilities.

Additionally, Voldemort talks of how only he was skilled and brave enough to attempt it more than once, to go "further than anyone" ever had:

I, who have gone further than anybody along the path that leads to immortality. You know my goal — to conquer death. And now, I was tested, and it appeared that one or more of my experiments had worked . . . for I had not been killed, though the curse should have done it.

(GoF)

If there was no risk, more people would make Horcruxes and more people would make multiple Horcruxes. Voldemort himself calls it an "experiment". He wasn't sure it would work at any point but the risk was worth it for him.

when he asks Slughorn what would happen if you made multiple Horcruxes he already made two Horcruxes. He experimented with Horcrux when he had little to no information on them. He experimented magically on himself. Multiple times. (He also mentioned "experiments" in plural so I wonder if he had another method besides Horcruxes that he attempted...). This is not a person who cares about "risk" like a normal person. Riping your soul apart to make a Horcrux, even without my theory, is in itself, a huge risk — and he does so consciously 6 times!

Dumbledore, Slughorn, and Voldemort all talk of Horcruxes like an unknown magic, barely attempted by anyone throughout history. Even Magick Moste Evile doesn't give more than a mention to the concept of Horcruxes because no one actually makes them. (It's the spider georg meme: "average dark wizard makes 1 horcrux in their lifetime factoid actualy just statistical error. average dark wizard makes 0 horcruxes. Horcrux Tom, who lives as a wraith in albenia & made 7 horcruxes, is an outlier adn should not have been counted").

If you need to temporarily kill yourself to become immortal it would explain why not more people have tried it. I mean, Grindelwald wanted to be the Master of Death, so why not make a Horcrux, I'm sure he was familiar with the ritual?

Becouse the risk was too great for him to take.

I talked about this a bit here and @iamnmbr3 has this post about this, but Tom, for all that he is the heir of Slytherin, acts a lot like a Gryffindor. He is prideful, sure, but he is so incredibly brave. Experimenting on himself with a super dangerous ritual 7 times is incredibly in character for him. Yes, he's arrogant, he's sure he'd succeed, but unlike Grindelwald or (younger) Dumbledore, he is willing to take the ultimate risk for the sake of his immortality.

It also makes sense symbolically. Like, to become immortal you have to risk your life — to live forever you must be ready to go through death. It makes sense in a symbolic sort of way. It just feels right.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Idk what is it with legacy but everything seems to me like it was written on a napkin five minutes before the programming started. I'm crying about the ancient magic and the fact that nothing was done with it. The friends weren't involved with the plot enough, Fig was involved too much (were they trying to copy year 4 and 5 with Rakepick???), we CAN'T FUCKING ALLY WITH RANROK, Isodora and Bragbor successfully cooperated to create the repository but we can't have main character and ranrok paralleling that and working together.

You know, you're absolutely right.

This game was like...almost incredible. But in every area it could have been incredible, there's this pesky "almost" stuck as a prefix for this reason or that reason.

The companion mod is proof that not enough was done with the characters in this game (Amit doesn't even get a quest-line) but it's obvious that the characters are still compelling. Poppy and Natsai are three dimensional and lovable, and Sebastian's popularity speaks for itself. Even the ones who aren't meant to be in focus can be well crafted. (They rolled a real winner with Ominis, I said what I said.)

Fig was obviously meant to be a significant character (I am still not clear on what subject he teaches, does anyone know...?) and given his connection to the plot through Miriam, that's to be expected. He's a lovable guy and I don't mind him being so relevant, but it's obvious that (for better or for worse) the student characters are largely here by obligation and in the mind of the developers, they're more for side-quest content. That other characters like Fig and Lodgok are meant to be the important ones. Again, for better or for worse. I've heard it said that Sebastian's story should have just been the main storyline of the game and honestly...that's not entirely a bad idea.

Though frankly, I think a far better idea would have been just having Isidora as the villain instead of Ranrok.

Which is a good segue into talking about the other points you mentioned. I've talked about this before as well, but yes. Ranrok was beyond wasted as a character. What you describe would have been perfect, and yeah, it would have mirrored the backstory. It seems so obvious. Ranrok deserved more development and deserved to be portrayed as someone the MC might sympathize with. He deserved an ending of his own, where the player can side with him. Never mind the political, real-life reasons for why this was essential, it's just a no-brainer in an open world RPG that would have you believe it has multiple endings. (It really doesn't...)

Oh and that reminds me, this game pretends it has two endings when really, it only has one. Yes, you can choose to harness the Ancient Magic rather than becoming a Keeper, but it changes nothing about the game's ending. Half of the players were already going to head-canon their MCs as doing that anyway. The Ancient Magic is such an intriguing concept but apart from being a map marker for The Fifth Year to discover new plot threads, we don't learn much about it at all.

Honestly, the most fascinating the Ancient Magic ever gets is when we're learning about it through Isidora. The scene where she removed her father's pain was genuinely chilling, and in that I saw the glimmer of a terrifying villain wielding magic we had never seen before. Isidora would have been the best kind of villain because she would have believed she was doing the right thing and would have had understandable reason why she believed it. What she could do to those who oppose her...what she did to the people she loved, and all because she wanted to help them...the power of Ancient Magic is frightening, in no small part because we know so little about it, but we could definitely have stood to learn a little bit more, especially as it's unlikely to be featured again. (Unless they make a sequel.)

I think above all, what this story needed was more nuance. Everything is way too black and white. There are hints of something more, but they get dropped almost immediately as they get brought up. Maybe that's why Sebastian's storyline is a fan-favorite. His dynamic with Ominis and where his story ultimately goes, not to mention the sympathetic reasons why it ends up where it does...and the actual impact The Fifth Year's choices can have on this story...yeah, the rest of the game could take note. Isidora isn't developed enough, and neither is Ranrok, when they could both be exceptional characters.

You want to know my favorite scene of the game, bar none? The scene where Lodgok opens up about meeting Miriam and his grief at her death. That. That is the kind of nuance I'm talking about, and combined with the scene's atmosphere and raw emotion...I teared up. I mean it. That was so powerful. I wish more of the Ranrok storyline was like that more of the time. Any story in the Potterverse that centers around a Goblin Rebellion cannot afford to be this black and white, and we all know why. But in general, it's just better storytelling if there are more shades of gray.

[moonmoonthecrabking]

🌈 ☔ with any wips of your choosing + 18 19 25 for those ask games ?

ACHILLES!!!!!

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

girl jeri (especially until recently) and jeptitty. FASCINATING

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

there is one michie fic that i actually really enjoy. it's explicit, so i scroll past the smut (that's nothing to do with shame i just don't like smut), but yeah. because i like how the author characterises both of them and their relationship and doesn't ignore the women or like weirdly attack them. also werewolves.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

as you know, i really fucking hated the "angel gets its wings ripped off". i feel like i complain a lot on here and people are probably sick of me instead lol

🌈 Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP.

i don't know to what extent it's soft and to what extent it's angsty but i'm working on a jeptitty fic that takes place after max dies and (as we know i like to write) grace has spiraled into a sexuality crisis, while jason is sort of thinking about the kind of man he wants to be now he has that freedom and both of them thinking about the messaging they've been brought up with and how they feel broken in different ways but they listen to each other and help each other. hopefully canon divergent but can be read as canon compliant if you'd like to make jason's ending even sadder. (don't. don't massacre my boy like that)

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

there's a maybe 5+1 i don't know exactly how it would've worked. but grace going through the apocalypses of each lib. the idea that started it is the main one i care about, so idk if it would've been 5+1. essentially, on the day of her graduation, grace gets stuck in a timeloop (tinky). as she starts to waver in her hope that she can get out of there, as she starts to break, she starts to Change. her hair has been growing the whole time, but now the roots are coming in yellow. two little bumps appear on her head and start growing. she starts to wear her hair in pigtails and only choose yellow clothing. how much of it is conscious? who knows. not me. basically grace is snigglette bc the lib see how faithful she can be in npmd and decide they want a grace for themselves. if it's a 5+1, the 1 is probably npmd timeline in some way. this means that blinky's snigglette as grace still has the yearning for who she once was and the dreams she once had, even though she can't remember or understand all of them anymore. which is fun. yippee!!

[velvetwyrme]

Welcome back! I love transformers! Which continuity are you interested in? Any favorite characters in particular? Do you have any oc’s? (No pressure if you don’t I’m just curious) <3

Thank you, it's good to be back abfjdbdk! and HECK YEAH TRANSFORMERS 🤝!!!

Thank you for providing me with the opportunity to Talk About Transformers, I will take it graciously and with extreme amounts of vigour and rambling!

Under the cut because of the aforementioned vigour and rambling.

To answer your first question: I'm largely into the IDW (2005) comics, Animated, and Aligned (TFP) continuities! I've also started watching the original G1 cartoon and Cyberverse which has been really fun!! (I'm absorbing so much information. I'm also idly keeping up with the new Skybound comics, which have me yelling screaming crying etc.)

As for characters... I would say I have no favourite/s except I do also own 1 (one) Transformer and well. for something that basically turns into a brick, he gives me immense amounts of joy.

But yes, other than Soundwave, (who has charmed me in every continuity I've seen so far!!) it's a constantly rotating roster because there are SO many characters to think about (which differ from continuity to continuity!!) and I am having the time of my LIIIIFE!!!

It's so funny going from UT/UTMV to TF because UT fans have a lot of focus on Versions of Literally The Same Two Guys, whereas TF has an overabundance of options to pick and choose from (I love both!!! I just think it's very funny in comparison whfjfbek)

Anyway, I am a big fan of a lot of characters from IDW and particularly MTMTE because they're all a bunch of little FREAKS and I love them. But! If I had to pick a few from there, I'm particularly fond of (in no particular order) Drift, Whirl, First Aid, Ratchet, Swerve, Brainstorm, ALSO NAUTICA I love her dearly!!!!

I'm also a Tarn girlie at heart u_u I am not immune to "big bad dude with a mask and a sexy voice just so many problems". Also I have a special place in my heart for Spinister and Pipes rhfjfbejfbk (I love the Scavengers [similarly, a bunch of little freaks] and Pipes makes me SO SAD. WAIT- ANOTHER CHARACTER THAT MAKES ME VERY SAD: IDW SUNSTREAKER. (He was my first taste of the Horrors of the IDW comics and that STUCK with me)

Similarly, I think the Constructicons (+Prowl in IDW) and Combaticons have SUCH fascinating dynamics hjsjkhksjdfh,, combiners got me going crazy... I NEED to find out more about the other combiner teams. It's a fascinating concept.

As for other continuities... Animated has me sick over Blurr, Shockwave and Swindle, and... well, Optimus has intensely kissable lips in this series. Why did they make him like that. I'm also very fond of TFA!Starscream- he was my favorite back when I watched the series as a kid and it was very fun seeing him with fresh eyes LMAO

Fun fact: TFP was a large part of what got me to actually sit down and check out Transformers but... I actually still haven't watched the series itself (つω⊂* ) I just saw TFP!Soundwave and went "OH okay, I love him and need to find out more" which quickly expanded into me going on a deep dive into Transformers, and resurfacing about a month later having read all the IDW 2005 comics and about an equal amount of fanfic for various continuities whfjgbjrbfk,, BUT even though I haven't watched it yet- TFP already has me hooked on Knockout, Ratchet (and Soundwave ofc LMAO)

And the last answer; unfortunately I don't have any TF OCs (ᴗ_ ᴗ。)........

.........YET.

I have many Thoughts but haven't put together any designs because I want to get better at drawin mechs before I jump into making my own! Hopefully that way I have a better idea of how to put em together LMAO. That being said, I Am in fact plagued with ideas!! Like!!! I'd loooove to take a crack at trying to put together a sailplane/glider OC!

(LOOK AT THEM STUPID LONG WINGS...)

Or!! A pair of mechs, one whos an imaging satellite and the other a telescope! (Real starcrossed lovers type deal... both meant to only watch from afar, both longing to be in the other's place/by their side)

I also have a tradition of making sonas that have wings but can't fly, so I kinda want to make a TF sona with a similar concept- either just with good ol doorwings, or maybe a flier with a messed up gyro which causes problems staying upright in the air 🤔

Anyway!!! This is really long again! Oops but not oops because we all knew this would happen. Thank you again for the ask!! (and the excuse to yell about Transformers shfngbekbgm) Now I will return to my daily schedule of listening to. eurobeat and the Transformers Devastation soundtrack. Bye

[the-haunted-office]

You know, I was thinking tonight about what got me into the horror genre, and I'm really not sure.

The furthest back I can remember is watching a show called Tales from the Crypt with my parents and it used to have creepy episodes, but I can't really remember any of the episodes or anything specific from it except for the host. I can't remember his name, though, just that he was some creepy zombie guy. xD

One thing that stands out, though, is the TV miniseries that was done for Stephen King's The Langoliers. Even though the acting in it was terrible, I remember being entranced by it. It was one of the first horror things I ever saw. I loved the story and the characters and the Langoliers. Just the idea that you could be on an airplane and accidentally fly through a time rip, go back in time, and be stuck in the past with these little creatures that eat the past and you die there? I loved that concept! I think that was the first exposure I ever had to Stephen King. It was either that or Pet Sematary, I can't remember which was first. Stephen King was the gateway for sure, and I know his works have had a huge impression on mine, although I won't claim to say that my stuff is anywhere close to his.

Another thing I also remember being grotesquely fascinated by was this scene from the 1990 film Total Recall. There's a scene towards the end of the movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger's character gets sucked outside onto the planet Mars, which has no breathable atmosphere yet, and his skin starts bloating up and his eyes start popping out of his skull. There was another character before him, the villain character, who suffered the same fate and he actually died from it, his eyes popped all the way out. It was so freaky, and I saw this movie when I was five years old! xD Yes, I've been watching rated R movies since I was in Kindergarten haha. But yeah, those scenes left an impression on me. They were so scary and grotesque, and yet I was morbidly fascinated by them.

These are the things that stand out to me. I also remember being really interested in the movie The Omen, which is still one of the scariest movies to me. I've loved horror for a long time, although now I'm more into books than movies. Movies just don't do it for me anymore because the plots suck!!! It's all about special effects and more and more blood and gore and shock value and jump scares, which to me just isn't it when it comes to horror. I need a connection to the story and the characters and that build-up of dread, and that's all missing from horror movies. It's missing from quite a lot of horror books too, to be honest, but it's easier to find in books than movies.

Anyway, kind of pointless bit of rambling tonight, but there it is. :p

[bahamutgames]

AFTERTHOUGHTS - ROUNDUP ROUND 13

May - July 2024

Hello again! It was slow going for me with gaming for a little bit, but I've really started to pick up the ball again and have been playing a lot of stuff and really enjoying it too! And now I'm sitting here on a Summer Tuesday night, and I wanna talk about some of the stuff I was playing over the last few months!

And of course I gotta say it: These aren't reviews, just my thoughts, please play anything I talk about if it interests you!

Super Mario Land (April 21, 1989) - Gameboy

FINALLY Mario Land 1 is on the NSO. Not sure why this took so long, but it was nice to replay it cause I haven't touched Mario Land 1 in over 7 years now (god damn...) Mario Land 2 is one of my favorite 2D Marios ever so I was interested to see how Land 1 holds up. And honestly? It's not that amazing, it's a pretty clunky feeling game. But it's not like, offensive or anything. It's very creative with a lot of unique worlds and enemies similar to 2. But without any new power ups and the actual platforming feeling a little odd, it just isn't the most exciting old Mario to revisit. But, the game does have 2 particular strong points that I still love: Shmup sections which are super neat, and a surprisingly solid soundtrack! Pretty much every song in this game is a winner with my favorite probably being the credits theme. Neat!

Megaman: Dr. Wily's Revenge - Megaman V (July 26, 1991 - July 22, 1994) - Gameboy

Continuing with the Gameboy stuff, we have the Megaman Gameboy games! All 5 of them were recently made available on NSO and after having finished Legacy Collection 2 earlier this year, I jumped at the chance to play these games! And they are VERY interesting to say the least. Since they're all fairly similar I'll keep them all together in this afterthoughts.

So, yeah... These games are Megaman on Gameboy! That's exactly what it sounds like. They're Megaman... but smaller and more green. But what's so interesting about them is that they're not the same stories from the NES games. Instead they actually have their own plots while recycling robot masters and enemies and such. Because of that they're a little underwhelming I feel like, but it's very interesting to try these games out in such a shorter format.

Particularly what makes the format interesting is that you tend to only have 4 robot masters, then 4 robot masters acting as Wily Stages afterwards. As opposed to usual Megaman tradition of 8 masters and then a handful of Wily Stages removed from the masters. A big issue I have with Classic Megaman and X is that the games can feel a little long in the tooth, particularly when you get to the ending fortresses. By the end of the NES Era sometimes they were asking you to do 2 fortresses and it was just SO draining. And I always wondered how it would be if this format was shortened a bit. And these games answer that! But honestly I think they may be too short now. So maybe there's no pleasing me.

Another FASCINATING thing about these games are the Megaman Killers, who are new bosses you fight before Wily that all have their own lore and want to kill Megaman. I think they're all neat! But kind of wasted as concepts. I think this premise would've been stronger if they stuck with Enker (the killer from the first one) and had him getting stronger with new abilities each game instead of new bosses. And then have him sacrifice himself in the 4th one instead of the new killer. Idk, just would've been more impactful imo. But they were still neat and the payoff where you rematch them all in 5 was very cool!

And speaking of 5, I have to give that one serious props for not only having a fully original story, but fully original robot masters! Instead being the Stardroids, who are alien robots named after the planets! These guys rule (Mars is my favorite) and they are also hilariously ultimately poorly used lol. In the end despite making new villains, Wily is still the villain. Just so they can kill him off before the final boss anyway? SO WHY PUT WILY IN THE STORY JUST TO RUIN THE STARDROIDS IF YOU WEREN'T EVEN GONNA USE HIM??? Very odd.

I can't recall any specific complaints about each game now unfortunately just because it's been a hot minute since I finished them. But just general megaman stuff like the ones where you can't slide or charge aren't as fun. No fast weapon swap is lame. But it's gameboy so whatever. And I also wanted to give these games some serious props for having some pretty cool cutscenes which I certainly was not expecting on Gameboy of all things! And not just in game cutscenes, but full on hand drawn cutscenes (not animated, just still frames, but still.)

Super Mario Galaxy 2 (May 23, 2010) - Wii

SUPER FUCKIN' MARIO!? Here's another one I haven't played in... god I don't know, maybe over 10 years now somehow. I lent my copy out to someone and a bunch of stuff happened to them almost immediately so I just never got it back, until recently! So I jumped at the chance to FINALLY replay this one!

And ultimately? Yeah it's fine. I think in terms of gameplay it's VERY good. I probably still prefer Galaxy 1's levels but Galaxy 2 still feels great and plays great and has a lot of fantastic galaxies that are TONS of fun to play through. The addition of Yoshi is great, the new power ups are all super fun and creative (cloud being a personal favorite), a lot of the bosses are really cool, and even super gimmicky stages like the Fluzzard levels are really fun! And of course, I shouldn't have to tell you that the Galaxy games are still gorgeous and have some AMAZING soundtracks.

A particularly surprising thing to me was how much I found myself liking Lubba and Starship Mario. For some reason I really felt like I was just gonna hate them both because they're such a step down from Rosalina and the Observatory. And they certainly are, but Lubba is very funny and charming and a lot more like, gruff than I was remembering. And the Starship being a sort of marooned space ship that picks up other travelers as it goes across the galaxy is SO cute. I love the idea of an offshoot of Lumas who are just galaxy explorers, it's cute.

But yeah where this game truly fumbles is in the story, no surprise there. It's... So nothing. Like, actually just nothing. So it's not bad, sure. But it's actually NOTHING. Even if we Ignore Galaxy 1's story, this game's story is so nothing it's crazy. I actually feel like the plot weighs the game down, and Galaxy 2 would've REALLY benefitted from maybe just cutting it out entirely. You can really tell it was originally planned to be DLC I guess lol. But I understand they probably couldn't ship a $60 game with no story at that point. But still, I feel like they could've done something better. The only interesting part of the story is when the Luma takes Mario's hat at the end. But yeah over all I just feel like the story does more harm than good.

Any other notes? I thought some of the later levels were a little irritating, and some of the later bosses can be a bit of a pain. Like I remember Squizzard pissing me OFF when I was younger. And while I don't think the fight is that hard, it's just not a good feeling fight imo. Like it feels almost like it doesn't work right. But yeah (I'm sorry I keep saying but so much in this section) Galaxy 2 is very cute. While I still would have to say I prefer Galaxy 1 by a wide margin. It's more Galaxy, so it's a winner in my book!

Deadly Creatures (February 9, 2009) - Wii

Ah... Deadly Creatures... What an incredibly odd game. I've had this sitting on my shelf for YEARS but just never got around to playing it. However for some reason it kept calling to me, and I finally gave in. And I'm... Glad(?) I did???

For those of you not blessed with knowing WHAT this game is. It's a character action game where you play as a feral Turantula and Scorpion, each on their own story, just trying to survive. While in the background two humans (voiced by Billy Bob Thorton and Dennis Hopper) are having an actual plot happen that you can only listen into. It's FASCINATING! And honestly, doesn't feel real. It almost sounds like a joke, or an indie game, not something you'd get on the Nintendo Wii. But here we are.

So, for positives. This game is actually nuts. The concept in of itself is fascinating and a huge point towards it. It's all hyper realistic animals too, the only talking is EXCLUSIVELY from humans in the distance. Which is REALLY cool and is such an interesting way to tell a story. But the combat is insane and over-the-top despite having you play as photo realistic arachnids. You'll be doing spinning chops and slapping enemies around as the Turantula, or full on preforming brutal finishers as the Scorpion. Each have their own moveset and gain their own abilities throughout the course of their story, and they even crossover sometimes where you'll redo sections of an earlier level as the other character and access new paths, AND SOMETIMES THEY EVEN FIGHT EACHOTHER! It's so cool! All the enemies are other small animals and bugs, sometimes even letting you fight full on lizards. I think the graphics are surprisingly good for a hyper realistic Wii game, and crawling around these big human sized environments and even climbing on walls is really cool and ambitious. The music is atmospheric, again the game looks great, there's unlockable concept art and you can freely change the difficulty between levels which feels pretty progressive for a Wii era game.. It's all really neat and feels like it shouldn't be on the Wii!

But sadly... The game just can't really bring all these positives together in a meaningful way. The story isn't really that great, I saw someone say "the way it's told is better than the story itself" and I would kind of have to agree. Combat isn't really that fun the further you progress. It suffers from the Character Action game problem of giving you moves you execute by inputting shit like "XXYXBAABXAY" except Deadly Creatures ALSO has motion inputs for attacks. So you have to memories shit like "A+Forward on the control stick while waggling the wiimote left and right" it's actually insane and by the end of the game I barely used more than 2-3 moves. They start throwing so many enemies at you in later levels who all move so quickly that you'll only want to use your fastest moves anyway. And for some reason most of the combat in the late game is given to the Turtantula, who is objectively less fun in combat than the Scorpion, which was REALLY annoying. Ultimately I got so fed up that by stage 6 or 7 I had to turn it down to easy which was REALLY REALLY annoying. I thought a lot of the bosses were pretty damn underwhelming, navigating the overworld between battles could get pretty boring or even really annoying if you had to climb walls but fell off and died instantly. For every great idea the game has, it has something that it just doesn't do particularly well or exciting. Idk how to describe it.

I saw someone say this about the game online and I really have to agree: The game has everything it needs to be a shining success. Good graphics, killer and unique concept, a good gameplay idea, and Dennis Hopper. But it just fails to string it together in a satisfying way. Ultimately the game is so fascinating and bizarre that it exists at all, so I'm happy I played it, but it just wasn't the banger I was hoping for. I think this game would've been WAY better on PS3 or 360 without motion controls, and maybe it could do with a remake or a spiritual successor of some kind.

Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon (August 7, 2008) - DS

And last but not least: We have the first ever Fire Emblem game! Or at least the DS remake of it! So I'm no stranger to Fire Emblem, but I've only played 2 of the more recent ones. Awakening and Three Houses. But I'm not ashamed to admit that both of those games are AMAZING and Awakening specifically is one of the best RPGs I've ever played personally. So I certainly had high hopes for the game that started it all!

And... well... hmm... I don't want to say it's a bad game by any means, cause it's not. But it just really didn't hit the way I wanted it too. I think I had my expectations a little too high because, at the end of the day, this was an NES game. And I'm sure hardcore FE fans will execute me for saying this, but I just didn't like it as much as FEA or FE3H. It's so much more bleak, and sad, and not nearly as over the top and anime as those games were. Most of the first act is just Marth losing everyone he holds dear to him and it's sad! And it feels so sad and hopeless! And while the story is full of fantasy stuff and is a good story that works perfectly fine, it just didn't really captivate me or do anything where I was like "WOW!! This is happening!" And then even in gameplay, it's strategy RPG stuff. Yeah. But it just doesn't really feel as exciting as the later games. Which, sure, it's an NES RPG originally so I shouldn't expect anything mind blowing this early into the genre. But I think its problems are actually a little more unique and interesting than you'd think.

For starters, I did not play FEA or FE3H with permadeath. I know Permadeath is the big thing with these games. But I'll just come out and say it, it's less fun. Not just because losing teammates you like sucks, but because it makes me have to play so sheepishly and slow and careful in fear that anything I do will have 50 guys rain down on someone I moved 1 tile too far. Which is the point, yeah, but PERSONALLY I enjoyed using my units as distractions in FE3H to be so much more fun and rewarding. Does that make any sense?

And then the game is a little odd because other FE games will let you do a lot of things between battles. Grinding, shopping, preparing for fights. But in this one you can only buy the same basic starter weapons and there's no grinding between matches and that's IT! You want to grind? Go to the arenas ON THE MAP IN THE MIDDLE OF A BATTLE. You want to buy real items and real gear? Go to the stores ON THE MAP IN THE MIDDLE OF A BATTLE. Am I crazy or this WAY too much to ask of me in a game where leaving someone in the wrong tile means they're permanently dead? It's neat, but it's so weird especially compared to later games.

But, potentially my biggest issue with this game is that Marth, for as much as I like him. IS TOO MUCH OF A MAIN CHARACTER!! You can only beat a stage if Marth is there to get onto the end tile. You can only recruit a character if Marth goes into their city. Most of the teammates have 0 dialogue and the whole game is just Marth talking to the same handful of dudes. Again, this is almost certainly just growing pains of being an NES RPG. But still.

I have other issues, like it being nearly impossible to get teammates without a guide on who to bring to each fight. Or how annoying the enemy AI is. Or that the 3D graphics look a little ugly at times. Or the fact I basically never got a chance to use Tiki because by the time you get her your army is already so beefy. Or the fact I somehow missed the items I needed to get the ultimate weapon so the final boss was basically invincible and I had to use cheats to beat it. But I think I've flamed on this game enough. It's not all bad.

The story, while exceptionally bleak, is neat for a Nintendo game. It's just a brutally honest story about how upsetting and awful war is. No glorification of it at all. Some of the teammates are genuinely really cool even if they don't get enough attention. Cain and Abel, all the axe weilding dudes, the old man wizard whose name I forgot. I liked them a lot! And I feel like this one has a lot of job classes that just aren't in future games. Like pirates who can walk on water. Or Ballista users who can't move far but can fire missiles over MASSIVE distances. These guys in particular where really fascinating to me. If there's an enemy with that class, odds are you can have a teammate of that class too. It's also got some surprisingly funny dialogue, and I like that there's no real romance in it until like the last possible second. And a lot of the flavor to the menus and cutscenes, particularly the chapter intros, was very cool!

It's not a bad game by any means. But I think it's painfully obvious this was an NES game originally. And as a DS remake it didn't do enough to maybe update some of the NES-isms it has? I know I just flamed on it for like 50 paragraphs but I do think it's interesting still. It's just not really what I was looking for after playing Awakening and Three Houses. But I'm glad I tried it! There's plenty more Fire Emblem to play and I know there's gonna be a lot more of them that blow me out of the water going forward.

[love-killed-the-superstar]

Yeah... I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about BTTS to be honest. Although iirc Serling comes back with them, so thank god he'll be there to help me through that last difficult season. I could have done without most of s5. My favourite episode was Membership Drive because it was great seeing Nano get a happy ending and Mikey and Leo do another superhero team up with the Justice Force. The fact that it was the only episode NOT focused on the demon subplot...

Good point about Sh'okonabo - at least no one will ever call this guy original. Everything he does has been done more effectively by other villains in past seasons. I liked some of Laird's ideas for what they could have done with him, but ultimately it seems like he wasn't too happy with this guy either lol. Besides all the gross-out humour in that episode, I did find the evil goo episode fun, but oh my GODD the ending made the entire thing feel completely pointless.

Raph needs a hug, Mikey needs some antidepressants, and Leo needs his personality back. Don is the one thriving for once, and he has already been through so much, I won't take that away from him.

All the FF notes I've read from Laird's blog have been about TT2 so I haven't seen this Cody rant yet but omg I'm excited for it because it's a relief to know that everyone working on FF wasn't oblivious to how much he fucked the turtles over???? Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy when watching.

"It would make Cody look bad" GOOD!!!! GOD FORBID THE NEPO BABY HAS TO ANSWER TO HIS MISTAKE THAT HAS COMPLETELY UPROOTED THEIR LIVES, RIGHT???? They say never meet your heroes but how about never meet your fans??? These turtles didn't ask to be hero-worshipped, dumped 100 years in the future with no easy way home, and then forced to live with the person who got them into this mess. It would have been SUPER CATHARTIC to let Raph (or honestly, any of them) tear him a new one. I've been manifesting it in my rewatch and it just never happens!! The one thing that consoles me is knowing that when they returned to the present they left Cody in 2105 without Serling and with every single enemy they didn't manage to defeat because they were saving them for season 2. He is going to be so screwed and I'm living for it.

OH IF YOU DO I AM GOING TO EAT THIS UP. In fact please let me cameo in it. I'll help you Mr Dunn. Together we can end Scrappy Jones once and for all.

(Fun fact that isn't really relevant but I wasn't sure where else to put - Darius, Jammerhead and the Street Phantoms show up in the IDW comics! I haven't read to that point yet, so I can't say if they're anywhere near as cartoonish as they are in FF or if it gave them all a more grounded take. But it fascinated me when I found out that they exist outside of FF, especially Darius without Cody. I'm curious to find out what they did with him when I eventually get there lol. I'm relieved that they left Sh'Okonabo where he belongs, dead and buried.)

I think... highly controversial opinion here... I would have taken a second season of FF over BTTS, just because I feel like the cyber Shredder plot is bullshit, Serling doesn't deserve to get stuck 100 years in the past forever, and there were some fun concepts that I wish they'd explored. In my ideal version of FF2 maybe they realised FF1 fell short in a lot of ways and got their shit together and made a good fucking season as compensation, but I guess we'll never know if they would have improved it or not. If it was the same quality as FF1 I'd be annoyed but I'd probably still watch it. I'm dreading watching BTTS. Zell made me watch that webisode and I still have nightmares about it.

I'd end FF2 with the turtles and splinter returning home (without serling because my man has been through enough) through a time portal, only to find that all of their friends have been awaiting their return (maybe ancient one got a vision or smth) in a surprise party. they get embraced by everyone they have helped and loved along the way, and they sigh and say "it's good to be home". like the wedding but with way less awkwardness to it, and ofc I would give Leo and Usagi their much-desired reunion. Oh, and Klunk gets to be there, because I miss him so much in FF. Cody if you don't include a Klunk memorial shrine in your creepy little turtle museum I swear...

Turtle Titan 2 my beloved!!!!!! The fact that Laird wanted him to be a much bigger character in FF2 makes me so happy. He's one of the few characters/storylines I really, really like from FF, not just for who he is as a person but what he represents - that Mikey's compassion and sense of justice made a difference that has impact 100 years later. But ah well, if FF didn't want to use him more, their loss. He's mine now and I'm going to mold him like clay.

This........... actually never dawned on me until you pointed it out. Holy shit? You're right. Where are all the humans?!?!? My best explanation is maybe NNY is like a 'hub' for alien life on Earth compared to other major cities and countries, and that's why there's a higher alien-to-human ratio. I feel like the street phantoms are human, just using some sort of device that makes them ghostly?? But I could be wrong, I was NOT paying attention lol.

O'Neill Tech controlling so much of NNY is wild, because when you have one company running everything, that is HUGELY RISKY. It also feels like even if Darius wasn't actively trying to murder his nephew to gain control over the business, it's still operating under shady circumstances. Like do we really think April and Don would have wanted this cyberpunk hold on NNY? Personally I don't. I have to wonder if Cody's parents were even shadier than Darius is.

Cody is kept inside for ethical reasons. Darius is protecting the world from Cody, not the other way around.

I've wondered about the rest of the building!!!! Accommodation for O'Neill Tech employees maybe? Or maybe it's informally known as Nepo Baby Buildings to the locals.

My opinion on Serling completely changed once I realised what a NIGHTMARE he was up against. The fact that Splinter was actively participating in creating the mess and making jokes like "no it's not terrible that we trashed your home, it's terrible that my sons didn't catch the plate I just threw at the wall" is INSANE TO ME. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!!!! YOU'RE NOT THE HAMATOS I KNOW AND LOVE!!!!!! Serling is the only one calling them out for their obnoxious bullshit so he's where my solidarity lies now.

I actually love the idea that they're doing this to be passive-aggressive. I choose to believe that from now on.

Lastly - yes, what the hell happened to Leo's personality, did it get banished with the demon shredder? You're seriously telling me he wouldn't take this opportunity to take a night class on 16th Century Japanese Swordsmanship now that he is free to walk the streets? He wouldn't still patrol the rooftops for trouble because that's all they've known for so long? He wouldn't dig into what happened to the foot clan in the future, just in case things got bad again?

The shell thing could have had its own episode tbh. Picture this - medical technology has come a long way and during a routine physical for the turtles Cody repairs Leo's shell without even thinking to ask him first. It leads to an unexpected blow-up because even though what happened to him was terrible, having that scar taken from him without permission crossed a line and leads into a big 'this is what I hate about the future, and this is exactly the selfishness that made you strand us here' rant that blindsides everyone. Even Master Splinter doesn't understand. Leo flees and the guys go after him - some drama ensues - he is eventually found after idk fighting the street phantoms or something. Cody realises how much he's hurt Leo and apologises. Leo doesn't even understand himself why he's not happy at his shell being repaired, but it feels like another part of his story has been lost to time now, sanitised and stripped away from him. You have to take the bitter with the sweet.

By the end of the episode Leo makes peace with it but idk, maybe Cody learns to stay in his own fucking lane in future or something.

@love-killed-the-superstar​ I hope you don’t mind but this particular part of your recent liveblog just… really sparked something in my brain that I need to get out, re: Fast Forward, and it’s this repeating theme of FF rehashing a plot point from S1-4 but worse. Like the turtles version of a live action Disney reboot.

This turned into a massive rant, oops, more under the cut. Clearly, I have a lot of feelings about this.

Keep reading

[mintmoth]

Chrys looks so pretty! Love the quirky vibes! Could you tell us more about them?

I've had a couple people asking for some Chrys info but I don't have an actual character sheet yet oops

Chrys is an MC/Yuu who technically exists in an alt universe compared to Ambrosia for alt shenaniganz, but also maybe I can have two Yuus for jokes sometimes because time and space bend to my will

So while Ambrosia is more of the character I created in my head as the MC while I was actually playing twst, Chrys is me loving the ambiguity of the MC and how many people go "yeah my MC is a girl stuck at an all boys school" like that sounds such classic otome game plot right?

Okay but Chrys? Even if she's somehow living out the ultimate otome she's just.. she's a huge nerd (affectionate)

After the initial shock of being trapped in another world settles down she's immediately just "oh wow there's fairies and beastmen and mermaids and magic?? Where's the library I need to get my hands on every history and informational book you'll let me check out. What is the world like? What kind of cultures are there? How are the relations of these different species with one another? Can someone explain to me how the mermaid transformation potion works- are their insides changed to human insides or do they still have fish insides??"

While Ambrosia mirrors the canon MC's "oh man I guess I'm stuck here. Well I can still make friends and try to have a normal school life I guess" attitude that we perceive, being interested in things as they come up and taking what they can in stride-

Chrys absolutley just dives into meeting everything with this excited fascination (that definitely gets on some people's nerves), but it's really just her being so curious about this new world she's found herself in and as such is eager to learn about anything she deems interesting

Which is also how she gets caught up in more Octavinelle nonsense. Approaching Azul like, "Hey I know I helped my friends kick your ass like a week ago and that should make me want to avoid you and the concept of even thinking the word deal around you BUUUUUT- all the books I've read in the library that talk about mermaid culture SUCK! They're like, written by humans who are like 'yeah I totally talked to a mermaid once here's a book about what I learned'. It's garbage. Anyways what would you want from me if I asked you to write me a list of books about mermaids with actual credible sources? I figured I'd ask you since I know you'll definitely find what I'm looking for."

Azul just offended that he's being asked to do something that a quick internet search could yield while the tweels are just, "oh you want to learn more about mermaids? Here's the creepiest things we can tell you"

Also despite her still being "shrimpy", her hair colors were loosely inspired by a sea nettle lmao. Though I've made the joke on twitter that Ambrosia is an orange shrimp and Chrys is a ghost shrimp and that's how they can both be shrimp

[frillyfacefins]

I really don't know why I like the concept of a fictional hell so much.

I don't believe in any of those things - yeah, I was raised Catholic, but I went to a (Catholic private) school that actually valued _deep_ knowledge of church history and theology, so we learned the various Catholic theological theories on why there is not hell, as well as the fact that there is no mention of Hell in the 'modern' sense in the bible. (This gets a bit annoying when you're the only person in your family who realizes that according to what 'we' 'believe', we are neither in Heaven nor Hell until Judgement Day, but actually sleeping in our graves.)

But my fascination with Hell might be because of how fascinated I am with the concept of Death, and the way humans deal with that? Also the way 'Wrong' and 'Evil' is constructed, and how humans react to things that disgust or frighten them?

My fascination with Death is like my fascination with fungi. If I look at a fungus- or lichen-covered tree, I feel physically sick. But I still WANT to look at it. I will sit by the side of the way in a forest, just staring at a piece of lichen-covered wood, because despite my (literal) gut-reaction, this shit is incredible to me. There is just some part of my brain that responds to things I find disgusting like no other, and that response is managable when I look at fungi or lichen.

Sometimes it isn't managable when I think of Death. I am extremely afraid of Death, and sometimes I will fall into genuine panic spirals at the thought that I will die.

That's what makes dark fantasies so interesting for me, I think. Especially non-glorifying ideas about immortality. If we don't die, what are we living for? If we aren't human, what else are we? If we were more connected to a 'bigger power', like lichen are connected to wood, how would we see the world?

Maybe that's why I love demons and fae and other things that are Apart without necessarily being 'misunderstood'. I love beings that can't be held to human morality because human morality hinges on Death. I also love neutral or even positive depictions of Death - Death as a threshold, as a Change and not an End, as a way to strive for deeper secrets.

I know that I can't look away from Death - my brain chemistry doesn't allow me to ignore what I'm frightened of. But looking at concepts of Hell - whether it is humorous or genuinely awful - somehow greases the wheels that threaten to get stuck whenever I think of dying. Fictional ideas of Heaven don't have the same power for me, because I basically have no concept of self-worth, so any Heaven that isn't just a catch-all (like it has been taught to me at school) isn't a Heaven I can imagine myself in.

I have a very specific idea of Death myself, an idea based on brain chemistry that I have gathered together as a sort of comfort for my worst times. But the way other people think about Death and Evil and how we soften the idea of mortality between our grinding teeth until we can do the one thing that has always been humanity's biggest strength - until we can create something new out of it - is just endlessly fascinating to me.

[book-o-scams]

Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Ed

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 6:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 9:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

[notsimplysusurrus]

Wait so Chishiya is with them in the adaptation? In the manga, they actually don't meet for a while after the Beach gets destroyed. When Arisu and An (idk if she's even in the adaptation, she's this forensic scientist who decided to solve the witch hunt by analysing the finger prints on the murder weapon and found out that the girl (can't remember her name rn but both her friend and her had names and even a backstory side story) killed herself) find out who the witch is and all the major fights go down and stuff starts burning, Chishiya takes off by himself. A lot of the Beach members, like Arisu, Usagi, Kuina, An, Tatta, a high-ranking Beach member whose name I forgot (it started with M), etc group up and make their small base.

When the broadcast of the Citizens start, Chishiya sees it from an apartment, whereas Arisu sees it on this big billboard, some people see it on a GPS screen, etc. The broadcast shows 4 silhouettes, but the audience more or less knows that the Queen of Hearts is Mira and the King of Diamonds is Kuzuryuu, since it was said earlier that they are on the side of the game-makers, it just wasn't fully clear of they're the guys who are still putting their lives on the line or if they're Citizens.

The shelter scene should play out sometime after this, I think. I don't really remember it to be honest, it probably played out the same way as in the adaptation but I'm not sure. It didn't really stick with me lol.

I don't want to spoil anything but you should brace yourself for the parallels between Kuzuryuu and Chishiya. That part fucks so hard that I personally think that the King of Diamonds game is is the highlight of the Next Stage part of the story. Deadass it's so great, the themes, the internal conflict, it's just *chef's kiss*.

Also idk if the adaptation is also adaptating the side stories (they're mostly backstories and flashbacks of the established characters but sometimes they serve the purpose of introducing new characters, and sometimes they really are just side stories) but I sure hope that it does because the Jack of Hearts one is mighty great and it'd be a shame if they chose not to include it.

And yeah, at the start I also felt kinda bad for Niragi, but he just crosses every possible line like ten times. This guy just wakes up every day and chooses violence. It's not the first time I've seen this character archetype but usually they just turn evil and that's it, whereas this guy decides to go completely absolutely unhinged in the later part of the story. Gotta take it to the next level - why be evil when you can be 100% out of control lol

I certainly did enjoy the first part of the story and I really liked Chouta, Karube and Shibuki, I feel like the Next Stage part takes it to the next level. As a whole, I mean, there are many interesting character arcs, themes, quite fascinating developments and backstories, the plot itself is also entertaining. I usually don't like the ending of a manga, most of the time it feels rushed or improvised, but the ending of Alice In Borderland definitely made sense, was satisfying (in my opinion), stuck with the themes of the whole manga, and while I did not like one aspect of it, which I won't name because it's a spoiler, it also made sense.

Sorry, I have been cursed with too few spoons over the past couple of days!

Anyway, there was no mention of Kuzuryu after the Beach is destroyed. Mira was the only one who was revealed to be on the side of the gamemakers. I liked Kuzuryu, though, so I’m glad he’s not just dead lol. An is in the adaptation, and besides that Chishiya and Arisu met when they all got the announcement and realised that Mira was on the side of the gamemakers, it sounds like it’s pretty much the same...though idk what it means to be the Queen of Hearts or what a Citizen is (though, given the context, it’s pretty easy to assume on that one).

We have seen multiple flashbacks of the characters, so I’d imagine that will continue into future episodes that they make. 

From what you’ve said, though I’m super excited to see what comes next, and if they cancel it...may just have to pick up the manga! It’s just too interesting of a concept. And you’re 100% right that Niragi wakes up EVERY day and chooses violence hahaha

[thesupersecretbookstore]

This Week’s Expert Picks

To use a term of the season, poetry is tough sledding. You either get it and love it or you blame a middle school teacher for forcing you read Shakespeare when you were trying to make spitballs, chase girls, or just mad at the world. “To write something as good as the poems that originally brought you to love the art. It’s the only sensible reason for writing poems,” Donald Hall declared in his early sixties in a Paris Review interview (he served as the magazine’s first poetry editor in the 1950s). Donald Hall passed away in 2018, but The Selected Poems of Donald Hall is brilliant, fun, sometimes-bright-and-sometimes dark, but the book is the assemblance of what he felt was his very best work, and I couldn't agree more. I fell in love with this book for the same reason, I love poetry: it is hard, it is pleasant, it is not for everyone. If you have a poetry fan in your life, get them this book. RB

This is Jenny Slates book, Litte Weirds. The actress, stand up comedian, and author brings her own story in her extremely unique voice. I read the book but I’ve heard the audiobook is her reading it, so I’m sure that makes for a lovely experience. A collection of essays, memoir, and a hint of fiction make up this wonderful book.

This book is a lot. In a good way. She creates this sort of magical realism. Her whimsy and vulnerability pack the pages. I can see a lot of people not liking this book,. She’s a lot... exhausting. However, it’s unapologetically her, which is admirable. She never seats from herself, embraces the weird, and expands her tendrils to those that can latch onto her and relate.

The writing is unique which adds to the atmosphere she creates. She’s a dreamer, in that classic sense, hoping and longing for a bright and beautiful new day. Her energy is so earnest. It touches on feelings of isolation and loneliness in world that seems so vast. The book feels a lot like therapy for her, getting everything out and releasing it. CJH

Something really fantastic about The Toxic Meritocracy of Video Games is that it's an empathetic and investigative treatise on a subject everyone interacts with and, in my experience, no one questions. Christopher A. Paul clearly loves video games. He has a passion and patience for his subject that allows him to both interrogate and praise video games.

I am not a gamer. The last time I regularly played a video game it was Frogger. I had a few CD Roms as a kid and no console. But I care about video games as a home to a subculture and someone who loves different mediums for narratives. I have also, dare I admit it, dated gamers. The gamer world is interesting and intoxicating and this book is an academic look at why and how gaming culture came to be so toxic? Obviously, I'm in. I remember the first time I heard about this book I told someone that I found the concept fascinating, thinking that the process of getting a treat (XP or a level up) for every deed clearly created some kind of culture in people. Yeah, no, that's not what this book is about.

This book is a desperate and beautiful love letter from Paul to games, gamers, and game developers asking them to do better. Through meticulous research and with humility and wit, Paul explains the history of meritocracy, the history of video games, and wraps the two into a microcosm of what the rest of Western civilization looks like. I think the analogy is obvious, if not fully intentional. There is a pervasive message in video games (and in American Dream propaganda, the book reviewer adds, sliding her glasses up her nose) that "effort + skill = success." This is true. And, if I'm honest? It really messed with my worldview. It is INCREDIBLY difficult to discount meritocracy on it's, ah, merits. The problem with meritocracy (thanks, Paul) is that it's impossible. There is no level playing ground when one accounts for context. Not in life or in video games. But it is REALLY nice to believe that if you work hard you'll succeed. I really want to believe it. (In fact, I once said in an interview with Mauritian writer Umar Timol that Americans all believe ourselves one moment away from our perfect white picket fence American Dream, so I'm on record about this.) So in Paul's deconstruction of meritocracy, I had to check myself. He's right and he has the receipts to prove it (70 pages of them). I have to respect him for that. That is a huge gamble he's taking with his audience, especially with the assumption that the people who will read this book will likely be gamers. I cannot imagine that I, having no use for a console except that it is how I access Netflix, am Paul's typical reader.

Some fun things that Paul does: gives background information on famous and fun video games in context, which includes things like why the use of the term "girlfriend mode" to describe a character/skill tree in Borderlands wasn't bad for business, despite it being obviously sexist (which is super annoying because the thing referenced here, officially called "Best Friends Forever" sounds like an excellent idea); looking into co-creativity ("the belief that media products are constructed in the interactions between producers and consumers of content"); and why knowledge scaffolding (the information you bring from the last game you played will help you play the next game) shouldn't be discounted as a barrier to play.

My favorite things Paul does: 1) Gives a clear call to action both to people who play games and to game developers. 2) Draws clear parallels between gaming and other meritocratic institutions (professional sports and higher education) with a nod at what improvements can be made.

This book was difficult to read, but like working out. I'm tired but I feel great. Part of the difficulty for me, I imagine, is that I am not a gamer nor someone involved in communications (Paul is a professor of communications at my alma mater, I learned from his biography) so there was a bit of jargon that I was stuck looking up and still misunderstanding. This didn't deter me from continuing reading, though. Paul's passion and steadfast belief in games is alluring and comforting. As I read the book, I read pieces aloud to my spouse, and we looked up different games mentioned on the PlayStation Network and watched the trailers, talked about the non-meritocratic games (save for the one I already knew about which is on the Do Not Play list, but you'll have to PM me for more info on that) listed in our group chat with other folks who love games. I feel more well-rounded and more well-read for having read this book.

[wetwareproblem]

So. You see, I'm from atheists family and since my view of religion was mostly from tv-christians I haven't ever, ever want to touch it. Thats I'm queer haven't help, really. But couple years ago I read some books on Judaism and since then I was so fascinated. Like, it's as if my own beliefs and life mottoes somehow was norm for thousands of people? And it give me such feeling of kinship? So naturally I just read everything I could get and befriend some new people who are jews (1/?)

(not like I seek jews like WANNA HAVE GAY BEST FRIEND sort of way, we just stumble into each other randomly more often then before, also couple of my friends was like "well yeah I'm jew myself it's just no one asked before?"). Anyway, like, couple of weeks ago one of new friends casually asked me about my convertion process and I was like?? no?? I'm not?? so they are freaked out a little and explained that they was mistaken and blahblah but idea stuck with me (2/?)

but idea stuck with me. I mean I had think about it couple of times before but I brushed it away like haha well, obliviously I can’t? But it’s like GENTRIFIED JEW tm think I can, so… Maybe it’s good idea. But, like. I’m not religious? I mean, I can’t really believe at some deity? And, like, I relate to concept of G-d like.. “well sir if you real then I have some questions and couple of suggestions but otherwise lets agree that I don’t bother you and you don’t bother me, cool? cool.” (3/?)

And if don’t BELIEVE are there a point in conversion? Like, maybe it’s some sort of fetisitaion from my point? I’m white, privileged person who still struggling with borders of cultural appropriation sometimes and I don’t want to be harmful. But. Judaism resonate with me so well, and I really wanna be part of community if it possible. So, I don’t know. Maybe you can give me some directions? I don’t wanna bother my friends with it. Sorry for any mistakes, you can guess english not my first. (end)

First, a brief note: I understand English is not your first language, and I’m not going to nitpick (your English is considerably better than my French!), but you should know that a Gentile saying “Jews” instead of “Jewish people” is… generally concerning.

This sounds a lot like the very beginning of my own journey. I still wrestle with the idea of believing without evidence; it’s a difficult proposition for me. But as far as I can tell, I’m the only one it really matters to.

There was a moment, early in my class, that really stuck with me: Our Rabbi asked us “What is Judaism?” and was taking down our answers. “A family!” “A community!” “An ethnicity!” “A series of traditions!” “A practice!” “A way of approaching the world!” Finally, she put down the marker, looked over all of us, and said “I know you’ve been paying attention, because nobody said it was a religion.” It’s not that the religion is unimportant, but it’s only one component of what Judaism is, and one that often gets overemphasized - particularly by people looking in from the outside through an Xian-normative lens. There are Jewish agnostics, Jewish atheists… there’s even a (small) secular humanist movement.

Even in its religious aspects, Judaism is not about dogma, but action. You can’t just say the magic words or even believe the right things - it has to come out in practice, in the way you interact with the world and the people around you. I’ve been asked how I approach traditions and practices, how I think about the world around me… but I’ve never once been asked to show my belief. I’ve been asked how I conceptualize G-d, but my Rabbi is unconcerned with whether I Really Truly Believe.

Cnversion is about so much more than belief. It’s about joining a family, a tradition, dating back thousands of years. It’s about repairing the world. For me, it’s about finding some structure and guidance I was badly missing in my life. It’s about so many things - and belief is only a single component. It’s also worth noting that struggling with G-d and the conceptualizations thereof is something that’s actively encouraged - after all, “Israel” literally means “wrestles with G-d,” and like many things in Judaism there’s a little bit of truth in every viable reading of that phrase.

I’d like to invite jumblr commentators, particularly other gerot and gerim, to weigh in here.