#yeah i looked at cheese for too long and made my self laugh. im a normal guy

[pierogiy]

behold. one of my favorite comics i ever did

(bonus:)

[citrusjelly]

istg I didn’t even meant to draw this- I can’t control my hands anymore, they control me!!

[mintmatcha]

9 months, 28 days

Chapter 3 of 10 Months

CW: discussions of death

A/N: this is the end of the beginning! im not sure exactly how long this stories going to be but yolo

The cafe is almost empty, just like always. That’s why they loved this place so much as kids. No one they knew was ever here, sitting in the mothball scented booths- only the occasional elderly couple who didn’t give a fuck that the place hadn’t updated it’s decor since 1995. Clouds rolled in overnight, painting the town a somber grey. Mattsun feels like it should match his mood, but it doesn’t. He’s not sad, he just… is. There’s this weird, turbulent void in his chest where his despair should lie.

Hanamaki’s in the corner when he arrives, nestled into the booth with a mug. He watches the rain trickle down the window, tracing the paths of the drops with his finger tips. It’s very ‘white girl protagonist’ Mattsun decides. Like he’s the star of a Hallmark movie. The void in his chest pulses and he swears, just for a flash, it was warm.

“Hanamaki.” Mattsun slides in across from him.

“Well, lookie here at the big boy in his big boy suit.” Hanamaki taps his nails against the glass, not even looking at his friend. “Did your mom help you pick that out?”

“This is technically a business meeting, so I had to wear something nice.” he explains. “Or else my boss is going to think I’m just screwing around.”

That’s what it feels like. It feels like work. He’s just putting all of this into his little box, so he can file it away in the storage files of his mind. He’ll process it later, when the moment’s right.

Or never.

Makki tents his fingers together, like he’s some sort of super villain. He’s always had this casual, uncaring air about him, but it seems to have developed further into a chaotic mess. “Ah, so you’ve decided to plan my fun-eral.”

The black haired man sighs. “Only if you stop calling it that.”

The waitress wanders up, expecting orders in her typical, unfriendly way. If he didn’t know better, he’d assume it was the same woman from years ago, still equally sick of her job.

Neither of the men look at the menu. Mattsun orders a cheeseburger omelette and a coffee with six sugars, the same horrible thing he’s been getting since high school. ‘The American Experience’, they called it. Makki orders plain toast, notably not the same thing he’s been getting since high school.

“You should eat more,” Mattsun says, “You’re too thin.”

“Who are you? My mom?” he takes a long swip from his mug,

“If I was, I wouldn’t be-” Mattsun stops himself, much to Makki’s delight.

“Oh, please make a dead mom joke. Please.” Makki’s on the edge of his seat, leaning halfway across the table, “My mom would have loved you making a joke about her.”

Mattsun slinks down so far that his knees pump against the booth across from him. “That’s… yeah, you’re right. She would have loved it.”

Mattsun wants to say he misses her, but it doesn't seem fair. To miss Hanamaki Hana would be to miss Hanamaki Takahiro, and he certainly wasn’t allowed to miss Hiro.

Makki looks exactly like his father. He's there in the too thin nose, the gap between his canines and molars, and the clubbed way their fingernails grew.

but his mom's in his idiosyncrasies. She's in the laughter, the winks, the tiny things that make Takahiro himself. Truly a mama's boy, Makki taps his cup against his front teeth the same way she did. It's their thinking face.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Mattsun regains control. His notebook and reading materials jut out against his stomach from their spot in his coat.

“Are you really sick?” It surprises both of them. Maybe it was the thought sitting at the top of his head, maybe he meant to say it. All of this just feels too sudden, too random, Mattsun just can’t quiet his doubts.

This is why the time apart was good; Makki made him do stupid things, made his brain stop working.

“I- uh. Yeah.” Makki's face doesn't change, but his shoulders fall. The tension in his body deflates as he goes back to looking out the window. "You're such a dick."

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“You really think I’d lie about all of this?” he laughs, but it's flat, "To do what? To crawl back into your life?"

"That's not what-"

"Newsflash, asshole- I've been doing great without you.” the mug slams against the table, “I've been really, truly, wonderfully happy since-"

The other man picks up one of the pieces of toast and examines it, before carefully ripping the crust off. It’s a delicate procedure, carefully peeling off the edge on one, long piece. Makki opens his mouth to continue, then closes it with a low, thoughtful hum as he rolls the crust into a little ball.

"Makki." Mattsun holds up a finger, pausing the conversation for a moment as the waitress approaches. They sit in silence, mumbling only a quiet thank you as she

drops off the plates. She doesn't seem to notice the tension in the air or if she does, she doesn't care. She pours the coffee carefully, counts out the sugar packets like she's rationing them. As soon as she turns, he sighs and curls his hand into a tight fist, holding it in the air for a second before letting it fall. "Continue."

“This was a dumb idea. Forget I even asked you to do this.” he tosses the bread ball into his mouth and chews, “I’m just gonna go.” Standing suddenly, he grabs his coat from the booth beside him.

This would be the third time he let Makki leave and, according to the time left, the last. Life is fickle, an unpredictable lace pattern made by the people in your life coming and going. Mattsun was used to dealing with the final goodbyes and usually found comfort in it. No more chapters to write, all secrets buried and forgotten- truly, nothing left but what you can see in rose colored glasses.

And yet some part of him- the stupid part, the crazy part, the self loathing part- panics at the thought of seeing this end.

"I know you're better without me." Mattsun sighs, "But I want to help you, if you'll still let me."

“Stop.” Mattsun’s heart pounds so hard, dancing across his skin, that he can barely recognize he’s touching Makki, holding his wrist down against the table. “Sit. Eat."

Makki just raises a brow.

Reluctantly, he complies, but not before he tugs his hand out of his friend's grasp, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a sneer. A boundary has been set- no touching.

"I'll let you." he turns his attention back to the mangled food on his plate, "But only because I want to finish my toast."

"We good?" They are not, but Mattsun prays for a lie.

"For now. But watch yourself." It's a win, albeit a half hearted one. Mattsun pulls a tiny notebook from an inner pocket of his coat and flips through the pages until he reaches the last page; it's the farthest out thing he's planning, of course. It’s marked ‘The Hanamaki Service.’

They let the silence sit between them as they pick at what’s in front of them. The terrain of this relationship is uneven, constantly changing. It’s like hiking a mountain in the winter, Mattsun decides, one wrong move, one noise too loud, and the whole thing will come crashing down,

Why does he even care?

Makki’s happy without him, he’s fine without Makki.

He shouldn’t care, and yet he stays.

The black haired man stabs a hunk of egg and watches the half melted cheese try to stretch. “So, to put it all simply: what our home does for you is the basics: Legal procurement, transportation, preparation, and disposition- you don't have to worry about any of it. We also offer a location for interment and service, depending on the type of service you require, of course."

"Location?"

Mattsun takes a bite. "For the service and for you to, um, rest."

"You mean rot."

Maybe eating wasn’t the right choice for this conversation. The texture of egg now feels wrong in his mouth.

"Don't say it like that." The preservatives slow that down, so the rot won't happen for a long time, he brain reminds him. It doesn't help.

"I already have those places picked out though." Mattsun waits for a joke to follow, but he’s surprised when his friend says, "Bury me near my mom and hold the service here."

"Here?" Mattsun asks, “There’s nicer places.”

"Save a dying business with a dead guy. It's irony."

"Okay, well. That's-" he sighs and scribbles into his notebook. This wasn’t going to be a traditional job, was it? "At least the catering is done then."

"Perfect." Makki pushes away his empty plate, "I'm a natural at this. You should hire me.”

"Long term positions only, sorry." It slips out before Mattsun can censor himself, but Makki just snorts into his tea.

It’s frustrating that they click together so well, especially because nothing’s been resolved between them. One minute everything threatens to break, the next they can sit here and joke with each other. The issues sit there, waiting in the corner of the room, cocked and ready to fire. If they just didn’t look, maybe it wouldn’t hurt when it finally attacked.

If they didn’t look, maybe they can pretend nothing happened.

Mattsun reminds himself that he doesn’t care. There's still that blank space inside him.

“Next step would be flowers.”

It’s not. They should discuss embalming versus cremation, but the words stick to his throat. He’s asked so many times before, stared forward as loved ones debated what to do without a care in the world. This time shouldn’t be different.

“I’ll think about it. Can’t say I know too many flowers off the top of my head.” Makki digs his phone from his front pocket and scrolls, looking through everything before tapping out a quick question. There's a twitch of his brow, barely furrow, but it's gone in a flash. Before Mattsun can even ask, Makki's gathered his coat in his hands. “Gotta go.”

“What? We just started-” The whiplash is what hurts. Just as Mattsun feels like he's found his footing, it's gone again, slipping out from under him. This must be some level of hell

"Something came up." he shrugs, "Don't worry about it."

"I won't."

"You're such an asshole." he says, "You're supposed to at least pretend to care."

Yeah, he knows. That's how life works. But he can't just pretend; it's a gateway to actually feeling.

"I'll try." Mattsun offers, "It was nice to see you."

Makki rolls his left shoulder over and over again, like he's trying to work out a kink. "Was it? Was it really?"

"Kind of."

"Thanks," there's a hint of sarcasm in his voice, "We'll do this again."

And like that, with no formal goodbye, he just starts to leave. Mattsun wants to protest, but he’s grateful. He hadn’t realized how tense he had been, how hard he'd been digging his fingers into his thigh. The void in his stomach somehow feels smaller and larger all at once. He kind of wishes it would just swallow him up and this would all be done with.

It's so easy not to care.

“Oh, and Mattsun?” Makki pauses by the door and picks out a familiar black umbrella that was leaning against the doorframe. He twirls in in his fingers like a baton before pressing the button and letting it unfold. It's bad luck to open an umbrella inside. “Thanks for breakfast.”

Mattsun just looks down at the table. His food is barely touched but he doesn't plan to eat anymore. With his heart in his throat for no good reason, he feels nauseous. Despite himself, he wonders if Makki still smells like cedar aftershave and the discount brand laundry detergent.

“That fucker didn’t pay.”

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[firestarterrr]

do all the questions cuz im both nosy and a shit

😂😂😂 You are a shit, that took forever, but it gave me something to do so cheers 😂👍

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? I dooo, we're not like best mates, but we don't argue much..

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? My son Brodi, I tell him at least 20 times a day 😂😬🤷🏻‍♀️ he probably gets fed up with me tbh 😂

03: Do you regret anything? Absolutely not, wouldnt be where I am now if things happened differently..

04: Are you insecure? Yes 🙃

05: What is your relationship status? I'm in a relationship 😬☺️

06: How do you want to die? I've always said I want to be eaten by sharks cause it'd be pretty sick 😂🦈 and the shark would get a tasty snack 😬

07: What did you last eat? A ham and cheese salad pitta with lots of onion and mayo, I'm obsessed with them, reyt good 🐷

08: Played any sports? Not since primary school when I played netball 😂😂😂 I'm not a sporty person 🤷🏻‍♀️

09: Do you bite your nails? Alllll the bloody time 😩

10: When was your last physical fight? I've never been in an actual fight.. Play fight all the time though.. And loose all the time too 🙃

11: Do you like someone? Meh, my boyfriends alright I guess 😏😏

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Probably not quite 48 hours but I was awake for what felt like forever when I went to Leeds fest

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? Don't think so.. I let go of shit easy, so if you piss me off I'll l be mad for a while and then get over it and be fine.

14: Do you miss someone? Yup, Jamie's at work and babs asleep 😔 and my gran and grandpa 💙

15: Have any pets? A hedgehog called meeko, he's a grumpy little shit 🦔

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Pretty wank to be fair 😬🙃

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? I have..

18: Are you scared of spiders? Nah I like them, unless one crawls on me without me knowing, I'll probably just jump, can't stand it when people kill them 😒

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? To see my grand parents, aye definitely

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? Fucking hate that word 😩😩

21: What are your plans for this weekend? I'm starting a new job and I'm not looking forward to it cause I've got to be there for 7 and I like my sleep 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? I've always wanted 2 but after having Brodi, I wouldn't say no to more, it's the best thing ever.. I just know I won't be allowed any more than 2😂

23: Do you have piercings? Two in each lobe, tragus, top of ear, septum, belly, tongue and nipples but I had to take them out for breastfeeding 😬

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Probably art.. I used to absolutely hate school so I never liked any lessons, I didn't have many friends and we were never in the same class, so I'd just sit on my own and just count down the minutes till hometime 🙃

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? Yeah loads of people, but you just drift apart from friends sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️

26: What are you craving right now? 🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I think so.. I felt awful but it just wasn't working 😔

28: Have you ever been cheated on? Yup

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Yeah

30: What’s irritating you right now? Where do I start?!?

31: Does somebody love you? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they do 🙄

32: What is your favourite color? I can't pick favourites 😩 I like yellow, orange, red, black and blue though 😬

33: Do you have trust issues? Does anyone not have trust issues?

34: Who/what was your last dream about? Ahh, I have no idea, I always have the weirdest dreams though

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? Jamie 😂

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? Yessss, I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing..

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? Easier to forgive and move on there's no point holding grudges on people, waste of time 🤷🏻‍♀️

38: Is this year the best year of your life? I wouldn't say the best with everything that's going on, but it's not the worst..

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? Probably about 16..

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Nope

51: Favourite food? I love most food 😂 Chinese, crisps, donuts, vegetables, cheese, garlic, pasta, mash potato.. 😬🐷

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yessss

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Kissed Jamie and told him I love him

54: Is cheating ever okay? Nope, but I can understand it in certain situations..

55: Are you mean? I don't think so 🥺

56: How many people have you fist fought? None

57: Do you believe in true love? I dooo

58: Favourite weather? Chilly and breezy but warm sun 😬

59: Do you like the snow? I loveeee the snow ⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄

60: Do you wanna get married? Yesss, I can't wait for it, Jamie's hasn't got the hint yet 🙄😂

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Nope, I hate it so much 😂 bab on the other hand..

62: What makes you happy? My family/friends, food, hugs, hearing Brodi laugh, aniamls, music, reassurance, being in bed..

63: Would you change your name? Nah, when I was younger I hated my name but now I love it

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? No, I'll just wait until he's finished work..

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Say I'm sorry but I don't feel the same

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Jamie.. Sometimes I feel bad cause I can be reyt weird 😂 but so can he so its all good

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? Erm.. My boss 😒

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Jamie not long ago

69: Do you believe in soul mates? I doo

70: Is there anyone you would die for? Of course, Brodi, Jamie, mum, dad and sister and a few friends 😂

I wonder if anyone actually reads all this.. 🤔

#aboutme #ask

[luvd0nghyuck]

an awaited love♡

it was unlikely to vision the school's bad boy and good girl to date but hey, anything's possible.

it was a daily routine since they were both stressed. y/n, head of the cheer team and library aide before and after school while haechan was the leader of the dreamies and captain of the football team.

you may be curious as to how complete opposites ever crossed paths romantically and it was all from a detention in the library. haechan stole a go cart to drive his friend, chenle to the nearest bathroom during football practice so he can take a shit. which landed haechan right in between the aisles of the book shelves and a game of 21 questions between the both of you since he was bored.

"is it true that you smoke weed and drink alocohol?" i ask.

"yeah... people who has never tried it before always looks down upon it but its not that bad once you try... you want me to burn you out?

"WHAT?" i blurted out accidentally but i realized that this is a library so i slapped my hand over my mouth.

"you do know that it's just the two of us right? the librarian isn't even here." he said as he decides to sit on the floor and place the book on the lowest shelf and absentmindedly i just sit down along with him.

"what do you mean burn me out? what does that even mean?" i ask as curiosity kills the cat but instead of answer back, he smiled like he had a devious plan.

i had the joint my mouth as he was lighting up the other end with his red lighter. as it caught on fire, he blew it out and told me to suck and i did as hard as i could and then he took the joint of my mouth as he saw that i took a hard hit. my eyes were watering and my throat was getting scratchy, itching to cough but he told me before we started that i have to hold in the smoke as long as i can.

"hold it in y/n, don't cough it out yet." he attempted to courage me but for 10 more seconds i had to cough the foreign smoke out of my lungs. as he watched me cough it out, he patted my back and told me to spit it out if i had to since we were hiding on top of the library's roof. as i was collecting the clean air throughout my lungs, he patiently waited for me to calm down and when i did, he asked: "wanna hit it again?"

...

and that was the funny yet confidential start as to how we began to affiliate with each other. before i always admired him from afar but i knew to stay away since he was bad news. but whatever happens, happens and i don't regret meeting haechan at all. that night of his detention, we were stoned to the bone and we discussed everything we could to get to know each other and it was all in one night. we talked about our favorite genre of music to our biggest fears and dreams, our hobbies to our pet peeves, or our future plans and our past.

the more we talked, the more i felt myself getting comfortable with him, and the more i started to admire how his tanned skin looked so beautiful in the sky's sunset. the way his orange dyed hair suited him and brought out his brown eyes. the way his voice was soothing to listen to and made me feel drowsy (or maybe that was just the weed) .

there was a moment where we both stopped talking and let the silence talk for us and let our thoughts roam. i thought about how life and school wasn't as eventful as i thought it was, it was just a routine. wake up, get ready, eat breakfast, go to the library, go to class, go to cheer practice or go to the library then go home to do homework. i realized nobody ever asked me to hang out or invited me to parties or asked me out on dates because i was stuck in a routine. nothing new and no changes. but hanging out with haechan made me see a whole new world.

"hey y/n"

"hmm?"

"i'm glad that i got detention." he said and i just quietly laughed to myself because i knew what he meant.

"and i'm glad you stole that go-cart." he said and his red eyes turned to me and smiled at me.

"you know i like you like this." he stated as he slowly tucked my hair behind my ear and i blushed.

"oh yeah? why?"

"your hair is down. i never see your hair down. your eyes, they're red but i can see that you're genuinely content like you found a peace within yourself." he said truthfully and in all honesty, what he said was accurate. my whole life has always been lived in safety. i never did do anything exciting, most likely because my parents control my life and i'm already given the nickname 'the school's good ice princess'. "i've never really told anyone this but i always admired you from afar." he said as he took another hit from the joint and passed it to me as shock slowly registers within me.

"n-no way." i said while taking the joint from his fingers and taking a hit as he exhaled the smoke.

"oh yes way, i always thought to myself that you were too good for me to ever confess to you. your pretty little self intimated the schools bad boy." he confessed. and that just made me take a second hit as i couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. i kept in the weed induced smoke in my lungs until i felt the need to breathe which was awhile and enough time to think of what to say back.

"i had no idea but i'm kinda mad now cus it's senior year now and i wished you would've confessed to me early because i would've accepted your confession." i truthfully said and i passed the joint back to him but he just began to shake his head.

"naaah you wouldn't date someone like me." he said and i felt a little sad as to why he would say something like that.

"why would you say that? you didn't even know me before." i say, fully facing him only to see he was always sitting towards me.

"no but i knew of you and before i knew you were a straight A student, you always smelled like green apples and shea butter, you didn't like the school's cheeseburgers since it the cheese just looks like cum on top of the burger, and you never used pencils and how you-" i cut him off by softly placing my lips on his because i was starting to get tired of him ramble about me. i tasted weed and the flavor gum we're both chewing awhile ago. but what really snatched my soul was how he reacted back, he kissed me with in undeniable passion as if he waited years for this exact moment and he's trying to tell me that he's in love with me. it was slow but the burning within ourselves was empowering. as we parted, it was like static electricity.

"wow" i said. "that was my first." i said quietly.

"same" he said and i looked at him slowly in disbelief. "what? have you ever heard one rumor of me sleeping around? that's all jaemin, not me." he said seriously and i just chuckled and i couldn't help but kiss him on the cheek. he was overwhelmingly cute.

"what was that for?" he asked.

"for all the years you waited to confess to me." i said and i kissed him on the other cheek once more. "for all the years you admired me from afar." i kissed once more on his forehead. "for all the years you studied me and my natural self." i kissed him chin. "for all the years you thought i was too good for you." i kissed his nose. "for all the years you probably wished for this moment." i kissed his lips. "for all the years we missed out together."

as i pulled back to study his face, his eyes were barely open, hash and undeniably happy from all the love and affection i'm giving him, i just had to laugh until my stomach growled then my mouth watered and tacos came into my mind. then it was his turn to laugh.

"let's get out of here" he said as he slowly got up and brought me up along with him too. i stumbled a little and he caught me in a tight embrace. and cringy me i just had to laugh.

"sorry this is so cliché" while he rolled his eyes and let go of his hold on me and my legs went jelly. only for him to catch me once more. "jerk" i muttered as he laughed and helped me slowly walked out of the library building and into his car. he paid for our tacos and i swear it tasted like heaven.

"damn so you got the munchies huh?" he asked, eyes still red with a smug laugh. i just slowly nodded my head while i slowly enjoyed my taco. he just shaked his head and ate more of his taco but continuing to stare at me. although i was as high as a kite in the sky, i can feel his eyes on my face until i stopped eating to ask him what.

"oh nothing, you're just so beautiful and i'm just glad you decided to be mines." he said as his clean hand rubbed my thigh underneath the table. darn these booth tables, i'm trying to eat, not be sexually aroused. i almost choked on my food and it made him stop.

"oh, are you okay?" he asked and began to pass me the coke. i drank until i stopped choking and nodded my head to show that my gag reflex was fine now.

we finished our tacos and in the car, he asked if i wanted anything else. although i was still hungry, i didn't want to be a burden.

"im fine" i said only for my stomach to growl again.

"okay yeah no, we're going to 7-eleven." he said before putting his keys into the ignition.

as we arrived to the nearest store he told me the exact words "get whatever you want." and five minutes later, i had armful of a big bag of doritos, a pickle, oreos, a coke, kit-kat, and a pint of cookies and cream ice cream. he laughed as i dropped all of the snacks onto the counter and gave the cashier a $20 bill, as he got gum, a slushee, and eye drops. as the lady bagged our items, he told her to keep the change. we walked out with him holding the bags and me opening the door and unlocking the doors as we both got into his lexus.

"i don't know why i'm so hungry. i usually don't eat this much." i said ashamed while opening my bag of chips. he just laughed as he began to exit out of 7-eleven's parking lot.

"when you get high, you can get the munchies. munchies is when you get really hungry and crave for food mostly snacks but you can eat meals too." he said and the information slowly processed into my brain as i munched loudly on my snacks. he gave me a quick glance and laughed again.

"why are you laughing at me?" i ask completely clueless.

"because you're exactly everything i ever wanted and you've never changed over these past years i have admired you." he said and all i can think of was 'oh... so he in love love.' i turned on his radio and my favorite song better by khalid played. and it was like i can hear every beat and instrument and backup vocals playing in the song.

it was only 9 pm and he asked if i needed to go home and i said no since my parents know i usually get home late by bus which angered him a little.

"you're no longer allowed to catch the bus anymore. i will pick you up and drop you off. okay?" he asked as he gripped my thigh and i shakily replied.

"o-okay"

"okay good." and he drove towards the lookout of the entire city.

"why are we here?" i asked.

"you're still high and i just wanna take you home when you're able to walk properly." and i just nodded deciding he was right since my parents would be pissed if they knew i did marijuana.

i munched on my snacks as haechan posted a quick pic of the view from his car and his caption was "nothing feels better than this" since it was the song that was playing and then he posted it on his ig story.

when i finished all of my snacks, i faced the other way to let out a long and loud burp. instead of him being disgusted all he said was "okay first of all, wow that was impressive and second of all i don't know why you're facing the other way, i need some of that talented burp." and began to fan the air towards his face and i laughed out loud as i stopped him from smelling my dinner.

"oh here" he said as he passed me eye drops. i accepted them and began to drop them into my eyes. "do you have perfume by any chance?" he asked me and i nodded my head. "good, spray yourself with that." and i did as told as we began to take our leave from the lookout and back to my neighborhood which is the same neighborhood that he lives in.

we drove into my driveway and i didnt want to leave his car. "as much as i want you to stay with me y/n, you have to go home to your parents or else they will call 911 on your ass." and i nodded my head since he's always right.

"you're right" i said with a sad sigh yet i couldn't help the growing smile on my face as i thought about what i did today with him. "thank you for today. i'm very grateful and i hope we can do this again."

"sure we can do this tomorrow." he said calmly.

"omg are you serious?" i said and he nodded for me to smother him in kisses all over his face.

"thank you! thank you! thank you!" i said and gave him one last kiss on his soft lips, it was similar to the one on the roof except this one was given in a relief type of way. as we pulled away, we were bith breathless.

"i am so whipped for you." and i just giggled before grabbing my things and exiting the car.

"thank you again and get home safely!" i said.

"my house is down the street, i think the worst thing that can happen to me is a speed bump." he said cockily and i just rolled my eyes.

"i don't care just be safe." and he just nodded and smiled.

"okay, okay, go wash up and shower. dont forget to dm me your number before you sleep. okay?"

"okay" i say and smile before biting my bottom lip.

"oh don't do that before i'm about to leave. leaving you is hard enough already." i laugh once again before sending him off for real this time.

"bye haechan"

"okay bye." he said before putting the car into drive and i began to walk up my steps until he honked. "see you tomorrow babes!"

and just like that my heart was stolen.

my parents were in their rooms so i quietly showered and laid in my bed as i texted haechan my number.

he sent me a good night text since it was 11 pm and we both had a busy schedule and i couldn't wait to have our weed date again.

and that's the funny yet fluffy story of how y/n and haechan became the good couple/bad couple.

[sunnysidewrites]

Best Friends to Lovers!Seokmin

HAHAHA THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS!!!!!! I PULLED THIS SHIZ ON YALL!!!1!11!! this is part 2 of seokmin’s bday present. and yes i know im over a month late leAVE ME ALONE!! THIS IS THE FIRST BULLETPOINT AU OF 2018!!! AND YES ITS AT THE END OF MARCH!!! FORGIVE ME CHILDREN!!!! i had SOOOO much fun writing this but maybe a bit too much bc i think i went overboard,,, but i cant help it that he needs so much love!!!

this is THE. LONGEST. BULLETPOINT. AU. I’VE. EVER. WRITTEN. it has definitely surpassed assassin!cheol pt 2 by a long shot and im a little concerned honestly bc i go OFF whenever i talk about my biases, especially the underrated ones. (wonwoo, you’ll get your turn one day wait for me bby)

happy bday to my sunshine pt 2. i love you so much that words will never be able to express it, even as a writer who writes as a hobby and has to Put Things Into Words. you’ve been such an amazing influence not only on the members, but also on carats and other diverse fans. i’ve always believed the saying that the brightest smiles hold the most pain, and i may not know all of your struggles, but i know how much you have to hide behind this idol front. we love you unconditionally, so please keep shining for us. also allow yourself to be sad and other negative emotions, but there must be darkness in order for the light to be appreciated, right? thank you for being the ball of sunshine we so deeply love. 💕💕💕

warnings: might give you diabetes on how soft and sweet i was feelin!!! as a double bias, it is hard to give everyone equal love so this is the 1 time i could fully dive into it!! also seokmin is a flirty and jealous drink sipper

Part 1: Be There In Spirt

Seokmin was your go-to for anything and everything

Whether it was to find a movie buddy or seeking advice, he was always there

You first met him at some social event your friend dragged you to

“So you can talk to more people!” Your friend would respond when you asked why

You really didn’t care much, if at all, for parties unless someone you’re acquaintanced with was also there

Your friend was too occupied with other people, so you just grabbed some food and juice and settled yourself in the kitchen

Someone entered the door and you could hear the volume of his muffled voice even from the other side of the door before he entered

You were just chilling at the countertop with your back to him and munching on your tortilla chips with salsa that you didn’t care who entered

He noticed that you were the only one there and you were eating and occasionally sighing mood tho

As he was opening his soda, he asked you pointedly, “is the food good, at least?”

You were startled and slightly jumped at the sudden sound of someone’s voice

You turned around to be greeted with the goofiest yet brightest smile

Is it possible to see that bright of a smile or one at all when someone’s drinking? Bc he definitely made it work

You just finished swallowing your food and merely brushed your hands and shrugged, “it’s pretty bland like this party,” which earned a heart laugh from the boy

“You got dragged here, too?” You nodded and cracked a smile. “What, was the whole antisocial ‘take refuge in food’ act a dead giveaway?”

He smiled and lightly chuckled, “that, and how you were muttering about getting dragged here as you munched on your chips,” he gestured to your now empty plate

“Hey, correction — I said that I was brought here against my will”

“Like that’s such a big difference,” he says with a smile on his lips as he finishes up his soda

“And it’s not every day that I meet a cool, tortilla-chip-eating person at a social, but maybe I would let myself get dragged out more often”

You kinda stared back at him and slowly blinked bc like

Was that a hint of flirtation in his tone or were you just that self-centered?

Maybe best of both worlds

You raised an eyebrow at him, “you want to see a loner at the snack table?”

“It’s easier to approach you or anyone like this, isn’t it?” He flashes another one of his infamous pearly grins and reaches in your bowl to steal a chip and pops it in his mouth

You jokingly say, “Oh, you think we’re friends now?”

He laughs throatily and puts his hands up in defense

“I think we’re past the stage of bonding over stale chips and salsa at this point”

And you’re cut off shortly when his rowdy group of friends interrupts the friendly banter y’all had rip :(((

Those darn cockblockers

“I’ll see you around, Tostitos,” he throws in a wink and gives you a short wave as he backs away from the door and leaves you as quickly as he entered

You shake your head and look at the sad, crinkled bag of chips and salsa

“Did he just nickname me after a brand of this stale party food??????”

What an iconic first impression tbh bless

Ever since then he would have this weird nickname system of naming you after foods you would eat to make fun of you or just joke around

“Cheer up, cheese puff!” ok this actually sounds kinda cute and now I’m soft :’(((

“Be there or be square, you pretzel”

You: “that didn’t even make any sense”

“Don’t be salty” ba dum tss

“Can you help me out, (peanut) butter cup?”

“Whatever you say, nerd...s”

“Okay you’re not getting any of my other candy then, seok”

He’s the only one out of your friend group — actually just everyone in general — to yell directly into your ear as a greeting

He calls it “cute”………………….. ok seok

But it’s ok bc he gives out the best hugs

Or maybe it’s just the best to you heheh ;)))

Invented!! Bear!! Hugs!!

The best ones that crush your lungs and you can barely wheeze out a breath

Your ideal hang out session with him involves screaming at the top of your lungs while playing Mario Kart and having a whole junk food feast sprawled out on the coffee table

“bRO YOU MADE ME SWERVE”

“GET OUT YOU’RE IN MY WAY”

Bonus: the chips and candy are also sometimes used to pelt at each other

It’s honestly more of a damn jungle when y’all are together it’s amazing LMAO

The type to crash at your place unannounced whenever he wants

You would open the door and he would just stroll in and look through your fridge like he’s lived there all his life

“WHY are you going through my fridge??? You need to go home, I have things to do today”

“Eh, we can just work alongside together—you’re running low on juice”

“Imma juice you boi if you don’t leAVE”

Your friend group most likely carries a pair of earplugs whenever you’re together

But underneath their rolling of eyes, they lowkey highkey ship the hell outta y’all

They even sometimes drop gigantic hints for you to get together but,,, things don’t exactly go their way

“Hey, Seokmin, my parents are having a barbecue this weekend. Maybe bring a plus one? Like uhhhhhh Y/N?” Real subtle

And he’d be like “what, Y/N??? Why would we need a plus one??? Aren’t we all going together anyways?”

The same thing happens on your end too smh

“My cousin is having a birthday party, you wanna come with? You can bring a date or whatever, probably Seokmin or something”

“Seok??? He would probably burn the place down HAHA but ya I guess I can bring him *shrug*”

And every time, both of you would ask: “but why (that other person)??? I can bring (insert another random member)”

GET A CLUE BABES!!! OH MY LORD

And they would just shake their head like sigh look at these naive kids

Mingyu: so are we just gonna let them be dumb like this orrrr????

Cheol: yeah let’s just leave them alone — nO THEY DON'T SEE HOW PERFECT THEY ARE TOGETHER WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING I’m with u on that one cheols

So this is the O Great Seungcheol’s plan: make each other jealous without knowing y’all would get jealous

A foolproof plan, amiright folks????

And what other cliche perfect way to do that than a WEDDING

it just so happens that Seokmin’s aunt is conveniently getting married and he’s inviting the whole crew

And the guys are like mwHAHAHA THIS IS PERFECT

Everyone’s talking about who’s bringing who as a date and things like that and you’re just chilling and scrolling on your phone

And everyone’s making eyes at each other without you knowing bc they’re like ok y’all time to initiate I Still Get Jealous Plan

“how about you, Y/N? who are you taking?”

And Seokmin subconsciously wants to know too bc he’s tuning in with the rest of them LOL

And you don’t even bother looking up at your screen bc that’s how indifferent you are to this whole thing

“I don’t really care, I guess anyone who doesn’t have a date or something”

Seokmin is about to open his mouth and ask you since that’s your usual thing

BUT SHOCKER!! SOMEONE BEATS HIM TO IT!!

“How about going with me? I don’t have anyone”

And you expected Seokmin to say those words, but you look up and see Jeonghan smile at you

THE LOOK OF B E TR A YA L ON SEOKS FACE DID THE TEMPERATURE JUST DROP BC IT IS C O L D IN HERE

Admittedly, you feel a little odd going with someone who’s your best friend and go-to for everything but hannie is your friend, so you don’t mind too much

So you’re like “o-oh sure that works”

And you steal a glance at seok but he has an unreadable expression and is smiling like usual

And for some reason you feel your chest drop just the slightest bit bc you thought he would at least fight for you a little bit and say something like

“heY HEY Y/N IS MY GO-TO FOR THESE THINGS”

But he doesn’t at all,,, and his lips looked a little strained when he smiled

and jeonghan is looking all slyly at seok bc he knows just a minute ago he could feel the back of his head being burned off by Seokmin’s glare

The convo picks up from where it previously left off and things are back to normal but the atmosphere is a little heavy

The day of the wedding comes and you’re about to finish dressing up

You’re waiting for half of them to pick you and meeting the other half at the venue

And ofc, in this half includes seok and jeonghan yikes

You hear your doorbell ring, and you’re like oh they’re here!! You say bye to your parents and put on your coat and shoes

When you open the door, you find yourself in front of Jeonghan and he’s like holy crAP

He’s awestruck and is looking at you like :OOOOO

“Jeonghan! Uhhh,,,, do I look weird???”

And he snaps out of it and is violently shaking his head like nO NO N O ofc not you look amazing

And you’re like heck yea I do I spent time looking this good :)))) (you don’t actually say this but it’s a thought)

and you get a funny feeling in your stomach and you realize you’re anticipating what Seokmin would think

If you got a good response from your “date,” surely your best friend would say smth good too??? Right??? That’s how this works???

Little did you know Seokmin (and everyone else) witnessed what happened and they’re like oMG Y/N LOOKS GOOD

Seokmin couldn't help but feel it should be him in Jeonghan’s shoes but he couldn’t refute the fact that you did indeed look like a million bucks

As you get in the car you lock eyes with him and you’re like hey Seokmin!!!

But you’re instantly b l o w n away by how CRISP HE LOOKS

His brown hair that’s usually sitting down and hides his forehead is now slicked back but in a way that still stands up and exposes more of his forehead and outlines his masculine face shape

His sharp suit perfectly fits on his toned body and you’re fully convinced you’re looking at an angel

YALL KNOW WHAT LOOK IM TALKING ABOUT. YOU KNOW.

You have to actually hold back a squeak bc you’re shook af

And he’s dying bc of how cute you are and wow are his palms sweaty???

You end up sitting in the middle of him and jeonghan and you’re just sitting happily and waiting to see what kinda food is at the wedding lmAO

but the real meal here is you eh??? Eh??? ;))))

Seokmin seems a little nervous and tense sitting next to you looking that good like he’s actually a little intimidated

You’re waiting for him to speak up and he’s clearing his throat and stammering a little bit

“Y-you look really nice, Y/N”

And you’re like ahahahhahhdgdhhhcjdbdhhd

“Thanks, seok, you clean up really nicely too”

And both of you can’t look each other in the eyes bc you’re gonna actually combust if you do

And everyone in the car is looking at each other like hehehhehehehh it’s workinggggg

When y’all finally arrive at the venue, you get out of the van with the help of Jeonghan’s hand

Seokmin: conceal don’t feel :))) channel your inner Elsa man :))))

And jeonghan is glancing back at Seokmin every so often to test him

And Seokmin is starting to catch on like ,,,, why is hannie always looking at me

He tests him even more when he casually holds your shoulder and drapes his arm around you

And Seokmin is like !!! ELSA WHERE ARE U

Jeonghan is being a little too touchy in seok’s eyes and Seok is silently fuming over the drinks

Soonyoung is like dude I can feel your dark energy all over my soup what’s up with you???

Seok is about to explode at this point and anything can set him off

“isn’t Jeonghan being just a little too touchy-feely with Y/N? That looks like borderline harassment. They’re not even dating!”

And soonyoung is silently laughing bc he’s like oh you fool lmao

“You sound a little too overprotective over your best friend. Well — if that’s really the reason why you are”

“Of course I’m just worried — dID YOU SEE THAT ARE THEY FEEDING EACH OTHER”

Soonyoung: u need help bro

“Steal a dance with her later” soonyoung says and seok is like uh what Im not gonna make a fool out of myself

All soonyoung does is shrug and winks and he goes back to eating

Soon enough the dancing portion begins and jeonghan takes you out to the dance floor

And it’s nice bc you’re just having pure fun and dancing goofy moves, not to mention Jeonghan is great company

But you’re a little disappointed you and seok weren’t able to talk and have fun the way y’all usually do

Jeonghan has sensed this the whole day and he says “I’ll be out of your hair soon enough”

You’re taken aback by his statement and you’re like “what no you were really fun to be around tonight!!”

And he laughs and ruffles your hair like “no need to cover it up. I knew this would provoke him” and you both look across the room where seokmin is standing alone, sipping on his drink as he pretends he wasn’t just looking at you dancing for the past ten minutes

The upbeat song transitions to a slower song and jeonghan pats you on the shoulder

“Here’s lover boy’s cue ;)))” and he bends down to your ear and whispers

“But I could stay here longer and mess around with him a little longer”

You push him away laughing and say “let’s not torture the poor guy any more than you already have”

Both of you are laughing and SURPRISE SEOKMIN APPEARS

and he claps his hand on hannie’s shoulder and says “May I?”

And jeonghan nods and looks between the both of you and is all ;)) have fun kiddos and winks at you right before he leaves

And now there were only 2

You didn’t realize you would be so nervous until your heartbeat nearly spiked up when he came into contact with you

DHHDHDJDJ SORRY IM FREAKING OUT WRITING THIS WOWIEURJ SCREAMS

It’s good I’m good we’re good this is good

His cheeks are tinted pink as he attempts but fails to make eye contact with you once again

He gently takes your hands and places them around his neck and then places his own around your waist

It’s only at this moment that you’re able to make proper eye contact for possibly the first time that entire day

You’re slowly moving to match the slow tempo and you can feel your face getting hotter in the heat of the moment

It stays intimate and silent for a few moments before the both of you try to break the silence

“Umm,,” “So,,,”

Androgen you laugh at how awkward you’re both getting

“This is probably the first time we’re not screaming for the whole area to hear”

He chuckles and nods slowly

“I think my breath is just taken away” he says so softly that the music could have drowned his voice out if it weren’t for the close proximity of you and him

and you’re like ??? By what??? Are you feeling ok??

“By you”

And you’re like bLUUUSSSSHHHing big time

“A-ah, stop it, I only tried to look a little more presentable today,,,,”

Jeonghan somewhere in the distance: that’s not what you told me this morning!!

“You always look beautiful no matter what”

And now you’re at a complete loss of words bc well how do you respond to your best friend who’s shooting compliments one after the other so easily????

You’re desperately trying not to melt into a puddle in his arms but it’s a little hard

“You’re charming as always, Lee” and he’s like ;)) ofc ofc

“You’re a good-looking fellow yourself, not just me. Have you seen the girls who were drooling over you today??”

He blankly blinks at you and shakes his head

“Well, I didn’t notice actually. All of my eyes were on you tonight,,,,,”

FUCUEHEYDH IM SCREWMJRN IM SC REA MIN F

You’re a full fledged tomato by now and you’re trying to bury your face in his chest so that you could save face from this horrid embarrassment

“Okay, tone it down, Seok,,,, I cant handle all of this complimenting for a night”

He laughs and pulls you closer to his chest, his grip on your waist a little more secure

“I don’t know where this is all coming from either, but now that it is, I might as well say it all”

“What was that drink earlier???”

“I swear I’m 100% sober rn ask soonyoung!! Anyways, I didn’t think much of anything when I first met you honestly, but looking back at it, I think there was already some bit of attraction since then”

“You liked me when I was eating chips and salsa??? Really???” You look up at him incredulously

“It may not be the most flattering moment, but it was cute how you were hunched over your bowl LOL”

You: lemme just DIE

“If Jeonghan weren’t your date today, I’m not sure if I would have ever realized this. Maybe at some point, but at a much later time. I think it would have consumed me anyways”

He notices you’ve gone quiet and he’s like oh lord what if I messed up omgofkfkkf

“So,,,, yeah,,, i get it if you don’t feel the same way,,, I don’t wanna make things weird if you’re uncomfortable knowing this,,, but it was made crystal clear tonight that I really like you more than a best friend. I think I always have”

And you’re breaking out into giggles bc you realize how dumb you’ve both been

And he’s like !!!???!!!! why are you laughing omg I’ve done it you think I’ve gone mad

“tbh Seokmin I was disappointed that you weren’t my date since you usually would fight the members if they asked me”

“I kinda thought maybe I’ve been forcing you to do it too much with me?? and the other guys and you can do whatever you want”

“Seokmin, we’re best friends i would have picked you in a heartbeat”

And he’s like skdjjdjh is it suddenly hot in here it’s just you ;)))

“But as for the feelings…… it is weird”

He’s like oh :((,,, yeah I knew it would be kinda weird—

“—that we’ve liked each other all this time and it took us this long to realize it through some dumb wedding date thing”

And his face immediately lights up and you’re about to clutch your heart by how pure he is :’))))

He almost blinds you with his smile and he pulls you in so that your slow dancing position turns into a hug and he’s giggling into your hair and is spinning you around

*INHALES DEEPLY* MY GOD SOMEONE PROTECT THIS PURE BUN IM GONNA CRY I LOVE HIM SM

You can't help but giggle with him since his laugh is so infectious and you’re both a bubbly giggling mess my lord I think I just got diabetes

Poor baby was deathly scared you were gonna reject him but he’s so relieved you didn’t!!! :’))))!!!!!!

He slowly pulls apart from the hug and you’re both looking at each other hesitantly, bashfully

and In The Moment all you’re thinking about is how warm and how right it feels to be in his arms

You’re both still in your hugging position, his arms wrapped around your upper back/shoulders and your arms around his torso

You’re a little out of breath because of all the laughing and spinning, and both his and your eyes flicker to the other’s lips

You’re not sure who leaned in first but the next thing you know, your faces are only centimeters apart, his hand on your cheek

And then you feel something warm and soft on your lips

Holy hELL, am I really kissing Seokmin???!!! You’re silently freaking out and it’s just like

Your brain: ⁉️⁉️‼️‼️⚠️⚠️⚠️

You can feel his smile against your lips as he lightly tugs you closer to him and engulfs you in his embrace

But your mind gets fuzzier with every passing second so you let yourself enjoy the moment

Until you hear distant cheering in the back

“yyyYYYEESSS WE DID IT BOYS FREAKING FI NA L L Y”

You and Seokmin pull away and look back like wtf is happening

Sure enough, the other 12 guys are whooping and cheering and you would have thought it was your own wedding

,,,,refer to husband!seokmin

Seokmin’s just like “wait y’all planned this???”

Jeonghan: ya it was so fun teasing you this past week lmao you’re welcome tho :))))

Seokmin: I’m gonna eat your share of ice cream for the next month :))))

And everyone’s just like “y’all literally took years to realize this you should thank us uhhh”

Seokmin’s about to open his mouth to spout out some more objections but you tiptoe to peck him on the lips to make him shut up

“eeeEW UGHH nvm I already regret doing this”

“Seungcheol I will eat your share of ice cream too”

On the ride back home, you’re both comfortably leaning on each other, your head on his chest and his on top of yours

You’re so worn out that you sleep the whole way back home

Bonus: the guys in the car are giggling softly and take secret pics

Extra bonus: they taunt you both and use it as blackmail but in reality they’re jealous and want you to use it as your phone wallpaper

Extra extra bonus: he gives you a goodnight kiss at the front of your door and the guys scream in disgust and hurry him to return home :’)))))

ICONIC COUPLE OF THE FREAKIFN CENTURY OH NY GODHD!!!!! I LOV!!!!! MY PURE CINNAMON ROLLS!!!!!

[tumblunni]

Man today was A Chore. I got some good stuff done in the end but the middle of it felt awful and im just relieved it ended on a better note i guess? I had to spend like three hours sitting waiting for a package listening to some horrid old ladies talk about how child abuse is great and all the flaws of modern life stem from the fact we dont smack kids anymore. And like..fuckin.. "Ha ha remember how we used to fail all our classes and lie and hide our grades because we were scared of our parents and do anything to try and make the beatings hurt less BUT NOW IM AN ADULT I KNOW MY PARENTS WERE TOTALLY RIGHT YES" And friggin discussing all these beatings and LAUGHIng?? Laughing about being beaten and about going on to beat their own kids like ha ha this is so fuckin normal and just the logical conclusion of everything?? Like these were GOOD MEMORIES?? Fuck man i was like that gif of the dude with the giant vein in his head it was SO HARD to just sit there and try not to hear what they were saying. I actually ended up buying like 20 scratchcards just cos i was running on autopilot and trying anything to distract myself. (Only wasted 10 pound tho cos i won a few quid along the way and lost it again lol)

And gahhhhh after all that waiting i just get told my package didnt arrive today and i just have to come back tomorrow! So i went home super depressed and had to try and talk myself out of it and yeah. AND THEN i get a phonecall from the post office literally right then, saying 'yo whoops the parcel arrived a lil late, come get it before we close'. It was kinda funny, like me conquering myanxiety self hateness actually summoned a good luck better resolution to the story?? And i rushed down there and managed to get the parcel and all the post office people were REALLY NICE,like they'd gone kinda mom friend on me from seeing me come in and out asking for this parcel for the whole entire day. I dont know either of their names but thank you nice red hair lady in charge of the parcels and scratchcard corner grandma who chatted with me! If i see them again another day i have to go into the post office, i'll be sure to say thanks!

So yeah anyway i FINALLY have everything sorted now to do my Lets Play of the new pokemon game! I probably wont be able to start it til saturday evening or sunday morning though? Cos tomorrow i have the Big Stress of meeting again with my estranged sister and hoping i can maybe repair our bond. I dunno how long we're gonna hang out or even what we're gonna do or if its gonna go well, aaaa!! And then on saturday i need to wake up super early and catch a million buses to get to a cool art class place. Maan its been a busy week lol!

Oh!! And the stuff of actual success today!! Cos yeah some stuff did go well before the big post office trashness, and i need to focus on that instead of the awkward middle. Big good thing the number 1! I met with my support worker and had a really nice meeting in the new cafe in the local library. She was just super nice and gave me a great motivational talk about how i was handling this whole sister thing really well and she was proud of me. She said she got my voicemail i left for her during the whole thing and she was really sorry she was late replying to it and she was really worried how it all went. I totally forgot i even sent her that voicemail during all the mess! So i just got caught up in the panic and forgot to call her back, aaa!! Im glad she knows im okay now! And we had a nice hot chocolate and she said she's also proud of the progress i've made in going out and being social more often, pointing out how when she first met me i was too nervous to go to this cafe and now we're havong a nice day here. And i was like "but thats not a very big accomplishment" and she was like "ITS BIG ENOUGH, BUNNI!!!" Dammnit what did i do to deserve these kind people? *sniff*

Oh, and then she also helped me learn how to post an international package and IT IS FINALLY DONE!! Summon-daze, keep an eye out for parcel number 1, containing 25% of all the books i have for you!! They said it should reach you between 5 to 14 days. Sorry its so long, it seems the christmas rush starts a whole damn month early! *sigh* And i feel proud of myself for pulling it off, it was so stressy and embarassing aaaa. Just the soul pain of asking so many questions of the post office lady and holding up the line and having to go back and forth and be like 'is the parcel ok now? No?' *awkwardly crabwalks back again* But now i know! And i can definateky handle it all better next time! And aaaaa i just really hope it all goes well and i hope she likes the books and i hope i can afford to send the rest soon!

And then also i was brave enough to go to the other cafe too! I had to kill a lot of time so i had a second hot chocolate at the other place lol. That one is more busy and standard restauranty instead of a small library place, so its a little more imposing. And i actually had a small sandwich too! Somehow eating things in public is one degree more scary than drinking a drink? Dont ask me to explain my anxiety lol, even i dont know! XD it was weird eating a sandwich with a knife and fork tho?? Like the lady just gave me a knife and fork and i felt too polite to say 'umm actually i ordered a sandwich so here have them back'. It was a toasted cheese so the bread was all warm and chewy and really hard to cut! Really really nice though, it helped heal my soul from all the stress. Oh and i tried an american root beer for the first time! Its so cool and weird! Like a slightly bitter/salty sweetness combo? And how it foams up like beer even though its a soda??? Thats so WEIRD AND NEATO!!! Oh and umm maybe i should give myself some points for making conversation with the post office people too? I was so awkward and anxietyish so i feel proud that i managed to articulate myself well enough to actually ask for my parcel, and then they were just so nice and tried to chat with me and i...vaguely managed to chat back, lol.

Oh oh oh! And also i bought a shoes! I shall officially dub them The Murder Shoes~! It was a really good deal in a clearance thing at the supermarket, for shoes that actually looked pretty awesome! These big neat boots covered in WAY TOO MANY metal studs and belts and awesomeness! Theyre like goth cowboy aesthetic?? I love them, i dont have too many professional shoes and these are that but also funky cool!

So yeah several good things happened but the bad bit in the middle was just so long and frustrating that it left me in a big downer mood where it was easy to forget the good stuff. Writing it out like this kinda helps! And also to remember i have stuff to look forward to for the rest of the week! And, well, more challenges to face, but i feel more optimistic now!

[deeafrotailmisstress]

Bacon and Bar Fights

((A super fun RP with Jazz makin’ friends with an ex-dominion dude called Braiden! :D It was super fun and @datela-vodenit​ is a super chill person so I highly recommend checking out their blog and art! Hope you have fun reading this as much as I did RPing it!))

Braiden Sabius sat down at the bar, tired from a long day of traveling, waving to the bartender, “A strong one for me.”

He only had a moment to enjoy the silence before a small woman with big hair kicked open the doors with a loud yell “Oi Barkeep,” she marched up to the bar carrying a big bag full of goods and with a wide smile ordered, “Biggest meatiest meal ya got on the menu for me, t’anks!”

She sat down with her feet kicking happily in the air, not really taking notice of the man beside her and simply looked around absorbing her environment. Braiden flinched for a moment, shifting his seat aways from  her, waiting for his drink. Unfortunately for him Jazz noticed his movement from the corner of her eye and snuck a peek at him before she asked with a grin, “Hey, ya gonna eat dat?”

Braiden looked at the plate of cheese the woman was pointing to; it looked like it had been sitting out for a while. He shook his head, “Uh, I wouldn’t even touch that. That’s got ‘you’re going to have a terrible night’ written all over it.”

The barkeep finally slid him his drink and Braiden quickly took a sip - avoiding eye contact. Jazz’s eyes widened worriedly. She shuffled away from the plate and closer to Braiden with a cringe, “Oh nono, I don’ want dat kinda night, I wanna celebrate tonight!”

She patted him on the shoulder roughly with a grateful dimpled smile, “T’anks fo’ da heads up! Ya gots a name fella?”

The weary traveler’s eyes widened as he flinched from the sudden contact. He shifted on the barstool in worry, “I-It’s um...Callen...The name’s Callen.”

Jazz’s smile, somehow, gre even wider as she repeated, “Callen...d’az a nice name!” She jutted out a hand, “Da name’s Jazz! Friends call me Jazzy or Shorty, enemies call me little shit, but ya can take ya pick, I don’ mind!”

The stranger looked at the hand for a moment then her face before he gave her a nervous smile and hesitantly shook it. “It’s nice to meet you Jazz.” He eyed the baggage she carried for a moment, “You seem to be on quite a journey. Is that all yours?”

Jazz hauled up her bag and patted it proudly, puffing her chest as she bragged, “Jus’ some stabbies and punchers I made meself. YA WANNA SEE?!” She asked and leaned in eagerly towards ‘Callen’.

He squinted in confusion. “Stabbies and punchers?” He mouthed to himself.

“Yeah! Stabbies -” The big haired woman reached into her bag and pulled out a long, silver dagger with a bronze handle that still looked unfinished, but very much sharp, “-And punchers!” She then reached in and pulled out a set of knuckle brasses of very discerning designs, one of them encased in very sharp spikes. Braiden looked on in shock at the sight. He carefully took the dagger from her and studied it.

“Not bad,” He grinned, tossing it around in his hand. “While I wouldn’t call them...ah, stabbies, it feels fairly comfortable. Still needs some work, the handle feels too light for its size.” He handed it back to her.

Jazz groaned exaggeratedly, “Ugh I knoow, Olka tells me I still needs ta work on the kinda metals I use, but I’m still pretty new to dis metal-workin’ shit. But!” She jutted a thumb behind her with an acomplished smirk “I gonna meet up wid some customers ‘round here who asked for my stabbies, an’ now Jazz gonna ‘treat mah self’~” She chirped the last phrase with a sing-song voice and gasped with glee when her plate finally arrived.

Braiden couldn’t help but snicker at her enthusiasm. “I’m sure whomever they are, they’ll be happy with their ‘stabbies and punchies’.” He eyed the food as well, but tried to resist stealing from her plate and took another sip of his drink to distract himself.

“Aw man, I sure hope so, but either way, Jazz gonna eat!” She rolled up her sleaves before grabbing a leg and took a bit bite. It became obvious very quickly this woman was not one to eat daintily in public as she ripped a large chunk of meat and skin aggressively off the bone before swallowing whole. “Whasha doin’ roundeez pars’ frien’?” She asked ‘Callen’ around a mouthful of food.

He wiped away a stray crumb off his face from Jazz’s talking and answered “Just stopping by for a treat. I’ll be out of here as soon as I finish this.” He took another sip of the drink and looked down at the table, tapping at it anxiously.

Jazz blinked owlishly at the tiny cup in his hand and swallowed around her large bite. “But. Ain’cha gonna get somethin’ else? How ya jus’ gonna have a tenny drink when it be feast time?!” She asked ignorantly with an incredulous wave of her hand.

Braiden raised a brow at her for a second. He reached into his pocket and slammed a few copper pieces on the table. “Unless there’s a menu item I’m not seeing that costs two pieces, the drink is the only thing I can get.”

The feasting lady froze as she finally connected the dots. “Ooooooh I’m a dick.” Jazz smacked herself on the forehead with a groan, muttering to herself “Stupid stupid stupid, gotta pay attention to dis shit!” Feeling bad that she had been eating so loudly next to him too, she sheepishly glanced at her companion. It wasn’t really in Jazz’s nature to ever share any of her food, but due to her own faults, she told herself to ‘suck it up’ and grabbed a napkin before shoving the smallest piece off of her plate to him.

Braiden eyed the leg, looking between her and the piece of food. He thought it would have been more polite to refuse the gesture, but at the sound of his growling stomach, he sighed and hastily took it; eating it as messily as Jazz did.

“...Damn, ya really was hungry!” She couldn’t help but laugh before getting back to her own plate and chirping “Ya welcome!”

The hungry traveler swallowed the rest of his food and wiped his mouth, a little embarrassed he had acted so barbarically. “Ahem, yes, thank you. I should’ve said that before.” Braiden looked around the bar once more, fidgeting with his drink glass. “I should probably get going now.”

Jazz didn’t notice his nervous demeanor and simply guffawed, “Whaa-? Da night’s still young dude, jus’ stay an’ chill a while! We’ll even have a treat day together, how about it!” She grinned excitedly and grabbed his shoulder “Jazz got da monies now, so I’ll jus getcha somethin’ too, tonight we’ll feast like food bros!” She didn’t wait to hear what he had to say before calling the Ekose for another plate.

Braiden was reduced to a stuttering mess at her sudden generosity, he tried to refuse her, “I-I can’t stay! I really have to go! There’s uhm p-places, yes places for me to-” Before he could get out another word, another plate of food was set down on the table. “To… To… ah…” He looked at the door then to the food. He mulled it over in his head and sat back down slowly, “Just one more round.”

His new ‘food bro’ snickered “Atta boy!” Jazz got another devious idea and smiled mischievously at Braiden. “Betcha I can finish deez faster than you!” She challenged and in her excitement slammed both her fists onto the counter at the ready.

Braiden eagerly smiled and matched her excitement, “You’re on!” He reached for the first piece when the doors to the bar swung open. He turned to glance at the newcomers and immediately turned away. “Shit…” He cursed.

Three men entered the bar, one short, one tall and the other average. They scoped the bar until their eyes landed on Jazz. The three of them slowly approached her and the average sized man greeted her, “Ah, are you our contact for tonight?”

Jazz quickly shoved a rib into her mouth and was about to gorge onto their feasts like there was no tomorrow until she whirled around and blinked at the man with a confused hum. An espernetic light bulb went off above her head however as she realized who these men were. She cheered a garble of words around her food with both fists raised into the air.

She quickly swallowed her food before waving her arm at the gents, grinning at her companion “Yo dude, it’s mah customers I was tellin’ ya ‘bout!”

Braiden continued to hide his face from this familiar group of men. He stood swiftly and turned in the direction of the bathroom, “Excuse me.” The hand of the leader caught his arm, “Hold on a second there, cowboy.”

“Why don’t you stick around,” The man said. “You might be of use to us.” He leaned in close to Braiden’s ear and whispered “Traitor.”

Jazz glanced at each of the men curiously, not sure who she should be focusing on “Ya know dees fellas Callen? Boy ya sure get around!”

All of the hunters laughed at Jazz, the shorter one asking Braiden “‘Callen’? Is that the name you gave her? You can come up with better names than that!”

The taller man growled eagerly and took up one of the ‘stabbies’ from Jazz’s bag. “Luckily you’re here, face ache. Perfect timing to be our test dummy!” The leader held out a hand “We’re not here to kill ‘im, just to collect him remember?”

The leader looked to Braiden and smirked “Look, you ready to come quietly or make this as difficult as last time, Sabius?”

Braiden glared at the men for a moment, then to Jazz, then back to the leader, “I’m no traitor, I’m not something to collect, and I’m definitely not going to let you poke me with that thing.” He looked to Jazz and motioned for her to leave, “Get out of here, I’m sorry this had to ruin your dinner…”

Jazz didn’t understand what was so funny until one of the men took out her blade and their interactions slowly started to make sense. Afterall, she was in an almost exact situation not too long ago. She quickly grabbed the hand holding her blade and grinned, “Woah woah fellas, now Jazz ain’ too familiar wid dis whole situation…”

She gestured vaguely to...Savius? It certainly didn’t sound like an Exile’s name. “But it sure ain’ no reason fo’ ya to start stabbin’ my food buddy over here.” Her grip on the man’s arm did not align with her friendly demeanor.

The taller man grabbed Jazz by the collar, “Stay out of this, contact!” The smaller one nodded, “Just take the money and do as the traitor says, get out!” The leader then took Braiden’s arm and started to pull at him, “We’re getting our money’s worth out of you, Sabius, whether ya like it or not!”

Jazz’s espernetics started to act up subconsciously as she clutched onto the hands of the taller gentlemen, but unfortunately tripped over as her feet were still caught on the stool’s legs, “Oi oi, donchu grab Jazz or I’mma beat your ass senseless!” Braiden attempted to grab at the empty plate of ribs and tried decking it over the lead hunter’s head, but it was swiftly swatted away as he pushed Braiden down onto the bar.

“Trying to be sneaky, eh?” The leader raised one of the daggers above Braiden’s head, “You’re smarter than this!” Braiden stomped on the lead hunter’s feet, making him drop the dagger. He kicked the fiend away, making him crash onto a table.

Jazz grinned wildly, “Aw yeah, IT’S ASS-KICKIN’ TIME!” She reared her head back and slammed it right into her captor’s before dropping down and shaking her head. It hurt her too, but hey, at least she was free! She whipped out both her machetes from their sheaths and beamed “A’ight fellas, who wants ta go first!”

The shorter hunter, shaken from Jazz’s battle cry, attempted to have at her with his own sword, but she easily dodged his swing without a sweat. Seeing Jazz occupied, the taller one went for Braiden and snatched his neck, throwing him towards the back of the room. Braiden managed to recover, but only had time to dodge another attack from the giant brute.

Quickly looking up at Briaden Jazz cried out, “Ah shit, sorry bro!” She quickly tried to throw her blade at one of the hunters to help her friend, but missed horrible and landed in the fireplace. Her left eye twitched as she growled, “Ugh for the love of-!” She got cut off by another swing from the shorter gent and quickly dodged out of the way again. He cackled at her failure and tried to slash at Jazz again, but in his fit of laughs he only landed a small scratch on her.

The giant gang member slid his foot on the ground like a bull and readied himself to charge at Braiden. He let out a cry and charged, but Braiden took one leap over him and the hunger smashed into the wall. In a rush of energy, Braiden grabbed a small stool and threw it at the smaller hunter, making him stagger slightly but not down just yet. Getting up from the table, the leader tried to punch back at Braiden. Braiden caught his fist and returned the punch to the leader.

Seeing the smaller one knocked down momentarily, Jazz grinned, “Woah, nice one dude!” When the leader approached however, her instincts took over. Blue flames encompassed her fists and without thinking she roared “Oi, DON’T TOUCH FOOD BRO!” And bashed it right into the back of the leader’s skull. The blow was finally enough for their enemy to fall unconscious to the floor.

Completely forgetting about her previous adversary, the smaller hunter latched onto the back of Jazz and tried to scratch at her a few times but was immediately met with an angry backhand from the fiery esper as she growled “Boy sit down, Jazz ain’ dealin’ wid yo’ ass right now.”

Braiden approached the downed leader, leaned down and whispered “Can’t wait ‘till next time, buddy. See ya ‘round.” Once that was over and done, Braiden smiled at Jazz and nodded, leaving for the door. She wasn’t paying attention however, her mind currently occupied by the blue flames that flickered across her hands. Her panicked eyes clenched shut as she held her head and deeply breathed in and out, remembering the calming exercises Olka taught her. Once they finally calmed down, she looked up to find Braiden leaving. She yanked him back by the collar and pointed her other machete at his neck threateningly.

“Oh no ya don’, ya gonna explain some shit ta Jazz.” She growled at him.

Shocked for a moment, Braiden gave in and nodded at her. “I guess you deserve one. But can we do it somewhere else? I don’t want to hang around for these guys to wake up.”

Jazz narrowed her eyes at him, but nodded reluctantly and lowered her blade. She followed after Braiden but not before kicking the poor small hunter in the nuts while spitting on him. “Fuckin’ rude-ass shitheads interruptin’ my goodass meal.” She grumbled.

Once they were outside, Braiden took a deep breath and began, “Okay. So my name is not ‘Callen’, it’s Braiden. I have a bounty on my head for charges that I’m accused of with the Dominion. As you have seen, I can’t have that, so… I ran away… It’s been years.”

There was a really long pause before Jazz suddenly barked a loud laugh and let out a releaved breath, “Hah, dude was dat all?! Jeez, ya got me here thinkin’ dat you’re some freaky-ass child murderer criminal dat I accidentally gave food to!” She put away her blade and scratched the back of her neck sheepishly “Truth be told I totally gets ya, Jazz been runnin’ away fo’ quite a while too...still runnin’ actually.”

She shuckled meekly before smirking, “Braiden though? D’az a cool name too I guess. An’ real quick bro, ya kicked ass pretteh well, an’ dis is coming from the amazing Jazz!”

Braiden laughed nervously along with her until she told her story. He nodded and smiled “I’m just glad we didn’t have to fight whoever’s after you. And thanks, you fight real good too, I certainly didn’t expect you to be an...ah…” He tried to make fiery motions.

“...A badass lean mean fightin’ machine?” Jazz flipped back her long curls with a cocky grin “Yep, I know. It comes wid da awesome hair, what can I say?” She was about to grab her bag when she fiddled with her other blade sheath and winced “I...probably oughta grab my Krog-Killer from da fire…”

“B-but...he was my favorite…” She pouted very sadly at the door.

Her friend grinned at her remark and turned towards the bar “I don’t think it’s worth it at this point.” He turned back to her and held an open hand to her, “Thanks for the help...and the food...Even if you did eat most of it.”

Jazz blinked when he held out his hand. She snorted in a very unlady-like manner and pointed at his hand with a smirk, “Dude, ya kiddin’ me? Put dat thing away.” Instead she spread her arms out with a grin that threatened to rip her face in half “C’meeeeere!” And without warning put both her arms around his waist in a tight hug and even lifted him up a bit with a happy laugh, “Ya kicked ass wid me in a bar fight! That officially makes ya a certified Jazz friend dude!”

Braiden tried bracing himself for the hug, but let himself get crushed under Jazz’s bear hug. He let out a wheeze and lightly patted her back, “Heh, I’m-” he coughed “- glad! Maybe we could kick ass-” he heaved “-some other time!”

Jazz gasped enthusiastically with a very bright beam as little joyful espernetic swirls of yellow bounced around her head, betraying her excitement “REALLY?! Dat’d be great I can’ wait ta- Oh wait shit lemme put ya down now.” She quickly placed him back on the ground and patted his back awkwardly, worried that she broke a bone.

Her friend brushed himself off and took deep breaths. “Well, this is goodbye for now Jazz. Oh, and do me a favor, don’t do business with those shitheads again.” He warned playfully.

“Nope, I ain’t takin’ money from those wank-stains again. ...But I be goin’ in dere for Krog-Killer soooooo…” She gave Braiden a thumbs up before rolling up her sleeves grinning “Back ta kickin’ ass, takin’ blades and leavin’ dis joint! Don’ be a stranger Brai-bro!” And with that she turned around and marched determinedly towards the bar with a violent twinkle in her eye.

Braiden gave one last shake of his head, still smiling, before walking off.

[hyungkyun]

(^:

HENLO!!! this is ur actual bday present, not that Gross thing i sent earlier lol. again, do whatever u want with it!! u dont have to post it or anything. it’s just easier to submit stuff like this than to, idk, send u an email like a señora lol.

ok so im doing this in bullet point format bc the last time I wrote a coherent, well-written paragraph was like 5 years ago or smth. anyway!! since u hated soooo much my beautiful, amazing, unique goths au im going with the loser couple au… which was also a college au of sorts?? dskjhksjdf this isn’t even an au, since y’all are already losers tbh (^: this also got out of hand…. this shit is eight pages long. idk enjoy bithc.

first of all, ck the kind of dude everyone’s lowkey scared of bc he’s silent and serious af. also he does seem kind of a weirdo, tbh?

youve seen him around, maybe you’re in the same dorms but u have absolutely no idea what he’s majoring in :o and u ask around but no one has any idea either!! oh wow a mystery~~

BUT he’s kinda cute hmmm (^: and u probably find the weirdo vibe interesting

however it’s so hard to get to talk to him. u always run into him when you’re out with friends or in a hurry to get to class so :///

but destiny works in mysterious ways~~~ and once u meet it’s rly. so unexpected.

actually, it’s awful since u get locked out of ur dorm sound familiar?? during winter break, rly late at night after a long study session at the library yes, the library, fight me. so u kinda just. sit down miserably outside ur room, since ur roommates are gone, cursing everything and everyone. u will eventually go looking for someone to help u out or smth but right now u need to Whine.

but oh my!! enter mister im changkyun!!! that weirdo who actually lives a couple of doors away from u (how come you never found out wtf???)

he sees u basking in ur misery and actually. finds u rly cute??? bc you’re pouting, cursing a little under ur breath, fumbling with ur phone. but u also look angry as fuck, ready to kill a man??? and yet you’re really fucking cute what the hell!!!!

so he comes up to u and asks u what’s wrong, to which u answer not so nicely without even looking up from ur phone, bc you’re rly so done with this situation ://

but then u look up and u See who it is fuck fuck fuck fuckfucbicvufkhkcfj

but since ck’s Nice and he understands that u must be having an awful time (and also bc he thinks youre cute) he offers to help u. you’re kind of skeptical since he’s just another student, what could he do???

until he tells u he knows how to pick locks lmaoaoaoaoa. that lil weirdo (‘:

anyway he saves ur night. but since he’s an annoying lil shit he’ll tease u abt it every time he runs into u for the rest of winter break.

since that day y'all basiclly become an old, bickering, married couple fnsdjdj

u never stop annoying each other…. you’re wearing a hoodie? he’ll probably pull the hood all the way down until it covers ur eyes, and u get him back by messing up his hair which, by the way,is so soft….. hmmmm

u call each other nerd and loser and dumbass all the time lmao. he’ll constantly bring up the way u met just to jokingly say that you’d be lost without him :/// he rly is a lil shit.

it’s funny bc everyone figures out u are falling for each other… except u two. and i rly do mean everyone. ur friends. his friends. ur roommates. ur cat. the janitor, too, probably. it’s so obvious it hurts.

one time someone implies u would be a cute couple and y'all literally go all ‘no???? haha me??? liking that loser??? pfft not in a million years’

it’s the biggest lie, of course (: and ever since that person suggested u would look good together, both of u kind of realize it’d be… nice. more than nice. actually, super nice.

but since both of u are dumb tsunderes,  as ive said before, u will literally be the embodiment of this scene… except it goes both ways. honestly u are so gone for each other it’s GROSS.

but we need some angst up in here so y'all dont get together for a reaaaaaaally long time :/ smh. the pining is Real. ppl come and go in ur lives, and each person u go out with sees that u already fell for someone else—and that’s why all potential relationships don’t last much–, but sdjkfhksjdhk!!! neither of u want to openly admit it.

it’s A Mess bc u are actually good friends and u tell each other abt ur dates and stuff—secretly hoping the other will do something—but y'all looove being dumb so u act like it’s all cool and be like ‘o rly!! good for u, i hope it works out’. right. :/

y’all keep dancing around each other for several months until one Merciful Soul gets tired of ur shit and forces u to sort things out. im talking abt locking u up in some room and not letting u out until u stop pretending u aren’t disgustingly in love with each other. or smthequally cheesy (: u know ilove cheese

((obviously everyone eavesdrops through the door bc cmon, theyve been waiting for this for sooooo long))

at first u two are just annoyed at the Merciful Soul betchait was minhyuk, and u spend ur time yelling and cursing them for doing this (all while claiming that this is pointless, since u have NO feelings for each other. none. nada!)

after a very long time, it’s ck the one that confesses first lmao. youve been whining and being grumpy the whole time youve been locked up together and it kinda reminded him of the way u met… damn. here come The Feelings.

he’s tired, and there’s nothing left to lose. so he tells u The Truth.

[suspenseful pause….. what’s going to happen next?? :OOOOO]……… tune in next year to find out, in the continuation of Cristina’s Cheesy Birthday Present!!!

jk, proceed to the next bullet point pls.

obviously u tell him u feel the same way [insert ppl crying in the background] and he’s actually shocked when u say u like him back…. and gosh, he does look cute when he’s surprised…

so yeah!!! it’s until then that u FINALLY go on a date during the weekend!!. hallelujah. thanks minhyuk,u beautiful soul.

so!!! ok!! first date!!! a rly cute fairground in the evening!!!

u try to be fake mean to each other like u used to but everything feels different~~~ (^:

so instead y’all act bashful as hell, and blush at everything jjdfghjfhd. hands brushing accidentally?? BLUSH. eyes meeting? BLUSH. BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH!!! u also laugh at everything bc both of u are so nervous oh gmhg fdknjjkdsfjoidf this is gross.

he’ll tell bad jokes to make u laugh and they’re rly so so so bad that he actually keeps u in stitches. if u look rly closely you’ll see his huge ass heart eyes bc !!!! he made u laugh!!!! and u look so pretty when u laugh omg!!!! dis-gos-tinnnnn

it’d be such a cute date tbh im crying just thinking abt it (‘’’’: obviously he’s a gentleman and he lets u choose what to eat, which ride to go to first, etc. u could literally tell him ‘hey let’s just sit down and do nothing’ and he’d say yes. he’s so gONe, ifmgfjdmf.

he’s kinda quiet and a lot shier than u wouldve expected but youre literally melting bc that’s a new side to him that you’d never thought you’d see.

u end up having so much fun (‘: u gross lil idiots, u.

oh and he’s def the type to ask if he can kiss u at the end of the night EYYYYYY

even if u find that incredibly endearing you’ll probably roll ur eyes with a huge ass smile on urlips lmaoaoaoao and call him a dummy for even asking when you’ve literally be in cloud nine since ur date started kjkhwjeqdkwjlk  

[hello, brief break to clarify that from this point i forgot this was actually a college au lmao, so the rest of the bullet points are literally just. random facts abt u two dating hhhhhh. We dont even know what ck’s major is odjfngnfdj]  

at first things are a lil awkward in ur relationship tbh

catch ck googling ‘how to relationship’ on a daily basis dnfndkfjdncn he is sort of clueless abt how to handle The Feelings. mostly bc this is Important and the last thing he wants is to mess it up )^:

that goes away eventually, tho!! he’ll start being his weird little self real fucking soon, so Get Ready

u still call each other nerd and all that stuff, but ur voices are dripping with fondness when u say it… literally everyone around u gets cavities from it, ew.

he’s not that big on planning dates but from time to time he’ll take u to rly cool, unexpected, interesting places :o  and eventually he’ll show u his favorite secret spots ((’:

study dates are a thing. i bet he’s that type of person that enjoys reading in weird ass positions… his legs are like, halfway off the couch and his arm is bent in a way that looks almost painful… what the hell….?? but it’s fine (: it goes so well with ur study methods, those that are Too Weird for the library, yeah?? (:

he will also stare at u a lot bc u look cute when you’re rly focused on smth that is, when u stop  whining abtstudying…

every time u catch him doing that you’ll go all ‘stop staring at me!!! wtf are u looking at u weirdo’ and he’ll answer ‘you’re so pretty~~~ ♥️♥️♥️’. you’ll blush like a lil idiot, naturally (^: hmmmm

and yea, yea. nap dates are a thing too :/// with sleepy forehead kisses and raspy voices and tangled limbs. all that sappy stuff. he’s a lil shit tho, so he’ll sometimes poke ur ribs to tickle u lmao.

buuuut he’ll also take a lot of pics of u sleeping bc he thinks youre cute )))): his faves always end up being his wallpaper for months.

he’ll get strange gifts for u, like rly bizarre plushies and rare books on topics he thinks u will like,  tacky anime memorabilia, etc. he’ll always give them to u at random times bc he just saw them and reminded him of u ♥️  

he makes a lot of playlists for u too!!! pls listen closely, he puts a lot more thought into them than he lets on.

u like his selfies??? well he’ll send u a lot of those. unfortunately, bc he’s a lil shit, he’ll mostly send double chins and weird ass faces from equally weird angles  

from time to time he’ll send u a Nice One tho ((((^: and u know, tongue selfies since youreSO fond of his(and I quote) “5ft tongue”. and oh gosh! is that a tongue piercing…??? eyyyyyy

if u want to take couple selfies then you’re gonna have a real hard time bc he’ll always be making weird faces and poses just to be annoying. eventually u will make dumb faces too tho (’: what a couple of losers

expect weird random texts: he loves telling u abt whatever is on his mind—probably aliens. he thinks a lot abt aliens and the universe. throw some conspiracy theories in there, too—. he’ll also send obscure memes. and a lot of russian cats!!

he’ll love ur cosplay hobbie. he thinks it’s super cool. he’ll call u a nerd but don’t be fooled! he totally brags abt it with his friends (^:

oh! and this is unrelated but at some point y'all will look like an emo goth couple. u won’t even realize that you’re both wearing black and looking Edgy, it’ll just happen spontaneously. tragic 😔

there are a lot of comfortable silences when u hang out, but late night deep convos are also fundamental :o!!! bc y'all are Smort.

he’ll act like f*cboi from time to time tbh?? he’ll tell lots of dirty jokes LMAO. u roll ur eyes at him a lot bc they’re rly. so bad.

if he winks or does Eyebrow Things then u can’t rly roll ur eyes and act like you’re annoyed bc (: u like it (: and u think it suits him (: and he knows it (: (: (:

u get back at him by telling him he’s cute tho, and he’ll get all shy and he’ll stutter and saying “noooooo” while also fighting back a smile

he will also howl or bark at u to annoy u jdfhkjdf. damn f*rry ://

on that note, he loves to embarrass u in front of ur friends bc he’s a lil shit :DD

But he’s also the sweetest??? whenever he sees you’re feeling down he’ll start doing weird shit to make u laugh. if that doesn’t work then he’ll hug u real tight without saying anything else, bc that’s Enough, u know?? (’:

ok time to get Domestic lads!!!

Idk who the hell is going to cook bc y'all are a damn mess in the kitchen. u two try to cook Nice Meals sometimes. seven times out of ten u end up ordering takeout lmao.

be prepared: he sings in the shower, and he does so terribly. (he might do it a little louder and a little more off-key sometimes bc he knows it makes u laugh)

random kisses are a thing!!! he kisses ur cheek or ur shoulder or ur nape or literally. any body part he can get his lips on when u two are just hanging out, watching movies or smth. it’s so soft and cute )^: wtf im crying

but also stolen kisses!! he’ll kiss u at the most unexpected of times and it alwaysleaves u breathless

he’ll constantly put his head on ur shoulder and make this face at u (^:  

can’t sleep??? don’t worry!!! he’ll sing to u with that pretty, soothing voice of his

anyway. what I meant is that y’all would be such cute little idiots together this was long af. wow. im so sorry. happy birthday??? lmao

I HAD TO PUT THIS UNDER A READ MORE BC ITS SO FUCKING LONG NAT U DUMBASS ICB U DID THIS KFJSKFJSLKDJFLKJ THIS IS SO CHEESY AND GROSS and it also made me realize that u know too much shit abt me. what was that t*ngue part. im not talking to u ever again. aNYWAY U RLY ARE AN IDIOT I WAS SMILING SO BIG THRU THIS WHOLE THING MAYBE I SCREAMED A LITTLE?????????? FUCK U!!!!!!!! WHATS WITH ‘The Feelings’ PART I HATE THAT I ALMOST DIED FUCK OFF IM NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE FEELINGS!!!!!! U CANT DO THIS TO ME SKJFHSKJDHFKSLDJFH 

icb u rly did the fairground first date i rly fucking hate u why did i even tell u these things i knew it was gonna fire back im fjjgjkknknnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ur ‘tragic 😔’ when we become a goth couple :/ u dont understand goth love

why the fuck did u make him howl. i wanna fucking die rn. what the fuck. he fucking would. fuck off.

i dont wanna talk abt all that domestic shit how did u even write all of that without dying i literally wanna rip all my limbs off i wont make any comment. i didnt need to know what that would be like but u looooove ruining my life so :)

i rly hate u ksdjfhskdjhfksjh icb u did this thank u i wanna die??????????? wtf nat !!!!! no but rly thank u :( u took the time to write this long ass college au (is it????? whats cks major tho rly :/ ) and just skdfjsjk u remembered all the weird shit i told u thats cute and also Really Bad what else do u know that i forgot i told u skdfksjh im literally always screaming at u abt this shit how did u !!! remember all of this!!!!! dldskfjshljhlakjsh this is so cute and horrible nat wtf how could u :( now im gonna cry :(

[crunchta]

1-70 BINCH

Goddamn it sned

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Yeah? For the most part

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My parents

03: Do you regret anything?

Yeah

04: Are you insecure?

Eh, yes ? Only abt a few things.

05: What is your relationship status?

Single

06: How do you want to die?

Either by a heart attack or stroke, or in a sword fight. Or by doing something badass

07: What did you last eat?

Bagels

08: Played any sports?

Soccer, basketball, horseback riding and I’ve been wanting to do track since the 8th grade

09: Do you bite your nails?

No

10: When was your last physical fight?

A couple days ago with my brother

11: Do you like someone?

No

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Nope

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

My parents always taught me that hate and love are very strong words and to use them only when you mean it. But no I don’t hate anyone

14: Do you miss someone?

Yeah. Friends and others.

15: Have any pets?

A cat! Named Diana, after Wonder Woman

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I feel like I’m always slightly anxious or paranoid idk. But Im watching tv and taking science notes and I’m gonna make my Mom naan bread so I’m ok rn

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Nope

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Fuck yes

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Definitely

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

France

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Yesterday I went horseback riding and went to the mall and today I have hw and am gonna make a lot of food lmao

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I’m not sure. I honestly think I’d want a couple teenagers. Like I’d adopt kids. Maybe 2 at first. At most like 5. I’m not sure why that many. Maybe bc I don’t think it would be that hard or maybe bc I want to give lots of kids a home and share my wisdom

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Just my ears are pierced

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Art, English, maybe history? At the moment I have an 88 or higher in all my classes.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah

26: What are you craving right now?

Garlic naan bread, hot chocolate. Whipped cream. Strawberry’s. Grilled cheese.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?I don’t think so

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

No.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yeah

30: What’s irritating you right now?

The face that I need to study and am not and that I have one test and then I’m done with a class but I keep putting it off

31: Does somebody love you?

Yeah? I think?

32: What is your favourite color?Blue

33: Do you have trust issues?

I don’t think so

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

In my last dream I was trying to get high without my parents catching me and then i was in San Diego at a play with a few friends and I kept trying to find someone else and it was weird

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I don’t remember. I try not to cry in front of people

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Yeah. But when I stop then it’s bc I’m just done

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

I usually forgive but never forget and I can hold a grudge for a long time. It also depends on what happened. Give it a year I maybe be 80% over whatever happened depending on what it was

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

I mean it’s definitely in the top several. It’s okay so far

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

14?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

If I have then I don’t remember lmaoo

51: Favourite food?

Steak, grilled vegetables Fries. Bacon. Bread rolls. Garlic naan bread. Banana bread. Pasta. Grilled cheese

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

I have such a hard time explaining how I see fate and destiny because I’m never sure what’s going to happen or how it’s going to or if whatever we did was right or if it leads to where we’re supposed to go or end up with it’s all v complicated

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I looked up rain noises on Amazon music and put that on before I fell asleep

54: Is cheating ever okay?

No

55: Are you mean?

If Im mean it’s either in a kidding way or in a way where I’m trying mot to be vulnerable

56: How many people have you fist fought?

Just my brothers

57: Do you believe in true love?

I’d like to think that it exists

58: Favourite weather?Rain

59: Do you like the snow?

Yeah!!

60: Do you wanna get married?

Yeah one day

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

If a boy I like calls me baby, that’s a no but if a girl I like calls me baby I melt. It’s weird. Some friends call me babe and like with certain ppl that’s okay but not with others

62: What makes you happy?

Making ppl laugh. Making art.

63: Would you change your name?

Nah

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Considering I don’t even remember who it was, yes.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Jokes on you I don’t have a best friend of the opposite sex. I guess there’s Kai but he’s gay so I’d be like go make out with your bf and tell me if you still feel this way

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Nah

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My little brother

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Zara

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I believe in a form of soulmates

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

A couple ppl

[taylorsparklingswift]

My Taylor Swift story

It was Monday, 9th of October 2017. Me and my European group chat had just spent the whole evening freaking out over that Taylor Swift had reached her follow limit on tumblr and that we would never be noticed. I was devastated because I fell in love with Taylor 2008 but had never got noticed before and it made me really sad that she wouldn’t know that I even exist.

I was in the car, my boyfriend was driving me home and we were as usually listening on Taylor Swift and long live came on. The time was 10.14 pm and I was scrolling on tumblr when I out of nowhere received a message from Taylor Nation, I thought it was some cruel joke and checked the URL a million times. When I finally understood that it was the real Taylor Nation I started freaking out, I was just crying and I couldn’t breath, but yeah I think you understand what im talking about. My boyfriend was like omg have Taylor liked something of yours and I was just NO SHE HASN’T LIKED ANYTHING THEY SENT ME A DM. I tried to read the message a hundred times but all I was able to read before freaking out even more was *CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE*. I started answer them like “omg is this a joke? It’s not funny! Please don’t joke with me” And then I was like “in case it is for real, here are my information (I didn’t want to risk anything haha). When I realized what it could be and it may be serious I called my mom immediately and she honestly thought that we had been in a car accident or something like that because I was crying so much and she couldn’t hear what I was trying to say. I managed to say that there was nothing bad that had happened, but that I had gotten a DM from Taylor Nation. My mon tried to make me more calm and told me that we could talk when I was home (I was literally two minutes from my home but I couldn’t wait to tell my parents until I came home.

When I came home I started trying to explain everything to my parents and I must say that they were really suspicious. I showed them the 1989 secret sessions video and started crying again.

Fasten forwards to later the same night. I was just on my way to my bed when I at 11:09 pm got a call from New York, and I answered. This woman from Taylor Nation (sorry I don’t remember your name, it was so much happening at once) presented herself and explained everything, Taylor had been noticing me on tumblr and seen how much I love her and how much I care about other swifties and asked if I could travel to London that Friday (Friday 13th) for a secret event. She told me that I could take someone close to me with me so I didn’t have to travel alone, and for me I felt like the safest thing would be to take my boyfriend with me who also likes Taylor and always supports me loving her. They also told me that they had seen my post on tumblr with him and I explained that we had been freaking out in our group chat that Taylor never would notice us now that she has reached her follow limit. She just started laughing and told me that both Taylor and Taylor Nation are really good at lurking fans without them knowing it. AAHHHH WHAT HAVE THEY SEEN?!?! Our conversation went towards the end and I gave her my email so she could sent me more information.

I was shaking the whole time I talked to her and as soon as we hung up I called my boyfriend and told him everything, the only thing he answered was “you do know that your passport has expired right?” Imagine how I started freaking out when he reminded me of that. But I was determined that I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. I couldn’t sleep all night, I was shaking so much and I felt really sick. Rest of the week I just booked everything and was freaking out like all the time and I couldn’t eat or sleep the whole week and I couldn’t tell anyone expect my parents. LIKE IMAGINE GETTING INVITED TONA SECRET EVENT THAT YOU KNEW WERE PROBABLY SECRET SESSION. Still dying over that….

Fasten forwards to Friday 13th.

I started getting ready like 4 hours before we were leaving to get to the meeting point ( a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do). To get there we had to take 2 trains and bus nr 13 that stopped outside our meeting point (coincidence? Don’t think so). We were there an hour and half early but there were some people there early too and I met @lovingherisred13 and @shakeitoff6202 who I had been talking to before and I was so shocked but happy to see them there.

After a while we got in a line to register and TN was like “hi I’m so glad you could make it!” And then turned to my boyfriend and was just like “oh you must be Martin, Felicia’s boyfriend!” and I died. We got these bracelets that said United Kingdom in reputation front. We went downstairs to leave our stuff and we also had to wait there until we were going on the bus to a secret location. Me, my boyfriend, Bea and Morgen all got on the second bus and we were all saying together all night and freaked out together.

But okey okey, the bus stopped outside this enormous house that we were going in to, there were more security checks and after that we started mingling with everyone and eat all the wonderful food in her kitchen, she had M&M that said REP and also bisques with REP on them, olives, cheese (the best cheese ever), chicken tenders and much more. We talked to Scott and he gave us guitarpics (what a dream!). Taylors mom and Tree and some other people suddenly came down the stairs and told us to go sit in her living room, so we did that and then after a little while of freaking out when we say the chair in the front middle, the goddess Taylor Swift walked in looking like a sexy angel and she sat down and she was like “Hi guys, I’m Taylor” and yes I died, right there, died. She told us that she had handpicked all of us and that she as been lurking all of us for one year and that she had screenshots of our post that she sent to Taylor Nation. She played us the entire album and told us every detail behind every song and what’s to come. All the time she was just her beautiful, precious, sexy, dorky self, and several times during the evening she just looked straight in my eyes and just smiled (and yes I died, right there, again). When she was done she told us that we were going to meet her in pairs in another room and while we were waiting we got to look in the magazines and talk to Taylor Nation. (So awesome!)

When it was me and my boyfriends turn to meet her, I walked in the room and was just in shook that she was there, like she was there, she was (is) a human being for real (no I hadn’t processed that during the whole evening). She say that and just walked up to me fast and just gave me the longest biggest and best hug ever, the kind of hug your mom would give you if she haven’t seen you in 9 years, and I was like this is it, I’m gonna die. And in the hug she told me that she was so happy to finally meet me. When the hug was over she was like “Oh my gosh you have the exact same hair as me, that’s so crazy”, and we talked about that. And then she hugged my boyfriend and thanked him for coming with me and for always supporting me support her. I told her that I’m so incredibly happy to see that she is so happy and she thanked me so much for saying that and said that she knew I was happy too (and looked at my boyfriend) and that she was so happy for me too, and then we hugged again.

I asked her if she could sign my emergencypassport, that I bought just for that trip and she was like I’m so sorry but I cant do that because of rules, I really wish I could! And she hugged me again. And then she told me some stuff about the album that she didn’t tell earlier (but ofc I can’t tell you what) and we hugged again and then we took a picture all three of us and I asked if I could get a picture alone with her and she was like “yes of course sweetie!” And we hugged again. It was then our turn to leave and we said goodbye and I told her that I loves her and she told me that she loves me back and we hugged again for the hundredth time. When I got out I was so shaken up and in shook and I think her mom saw that because she just walked up to me and hugged me and told me that Taylor loves me and that she is so thankful that all us swifties always supports her. She also said that my hair was just like Taylors and I told her that Taylor said the same thing and we just talked for about 10 minutes before Tree told us that it was time for us to go downstairs and wait for our bus. Downstairs in her like gym we where all freaking out and sobbing and yeah…

Then we had to go to the bus and we got a bag with merch and on the bus everyone was like in shook and when we got back to our meeting point all our social media exploded as we told everyone what just had happened.

And that was the best evening in my entire life!

Thank you so much @taylorswift and @taylornation for this incredible and wonderful night. It was truly the most amazing night of my life. I’m just so happy that I got too meet the one person who I have been looking up to for 9 years and who always makes me wanna be a better person. I love you so much Taylor and I just wanted you to know that I’m forever grateful! ✨🌻💛

[imjustalittlebird]

Why am I so scared to be healthy

It genuinely sends me into a panic, I won't even admit I have an eating disorder to anyone because "I'm doing fine with 445 calories a day!" And if I happen to break that number I just put a bandaid on it and take some laxatives. I won't admit I have an eating disorder even though I recall a time where I consider my old self privileged to enjoy eating without a care in the word- I could eat a whole box of Mac and cheese by myself with chips to accompany that and then be pleased with a large meal for dinner. Now I won't even allow myself more than 1/2 an apple at a time, and the fact that I just ate a whole graham cracker with some Nutella on it is sickening and becuase I ate that graham cracker with Nutella I wonder if I'm actually under the grips of an eating disorder or not. But then I realize when I wasn't this paranoid about how many calories are in an almond, I wasn't under the grips of an eating disorder. Now I can't even look at food without calculating every inch of it- guessing and re-guessing how many calories are in it. Every hour of my life is consumed with the thought of consuming and it's killing me. I feel so anxious all of the time, if I'm not anxious about how much I ate that day I'm anxious becuase I know my family is worried I'm not eating. How am I supposed to comfort them? Tell them "look! I ate today! I had a whole graham cracker and a handful of hot cheetohs, and I feel guilty for it but look! I ate!" And then mumble to myself that it was too many calories but hey, I ate. Before this stupid ED got a hold of me, it was insane amounts of anxiety that plagued my existence and in a way, yeah I think I developed this as a way to feel motivated for something- anything. Including starving myself.

I finally made a goal I saw logically possible, lose weight look better. When I was anxious all of the time before this I had no motivation and no desire for anything and one day I fed myself thinspo instead of food and suddenly I saw results I wanted and finally felt I could accomplish something. And I'll be honest, for months it was a fun and motivating time for me- I was liking myself for once.

But 24 pounds later I'm 106 lbs now and to think my initial goal weight was 115 makes me want to laugh and cry. At 130 lbs i hated my arms, at 125 i hated my love handles, at 120 i hated my calves, at 115 i hated my hips, at 110 i hated my stomach, at 106- i hate my inner thighs. I can feel my ribs, I can grab my hip bones and my wrists are so small Im surprised they're not broken. But I'm not visually what i want yet and that scares me.

I don't know how to recover, I want to enjoy things and eat with my family like I used to and get excited to go out to dinner but I can't. I just can't.

Once I get to 100 lbs, will I even be happy? If I am, how am I going to maintain that? I'm scared of my eating disorder and I'm scared to be without it. I feel like i just locked myself into a cage and most nights i spend my time trying to convince myself that I'm happy and excited to reach my goal weight and "oh haha stay healthy guys!!~~✨🌸" meanwhile I'm anemic and have water intoxication. I want to feel beautiful, but I'm seeing this pattern of hate this, hate that, every goal I hit. I'm so hypercritical of myself and I'm so aware of it that I brush it under the rug becuase if i ignore it long enough I'll reach my goal weight. The idea of recovery makes me feel so gross inside, for starters I hate admitting I have an eating disorder- I don't feel valid whatsoever. So for me to think about recovery makes me angry becuase I don't think that I'm even worthy of such a term? Until I'm 88 lbs and shriveled up I don't think I'll feel I deserve to want recovery. Yet, I know that's so messed up. Why can't I just be normal for like five minutes oh my gosh. This is stupidly long and if you read that whole thing, thanks for listening. Idk if this is a rant or vent or what but I needed to say that

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Your Liv and Maddie post gives me life! I 100% agree with everything. I felt bad for Maddie during the Diggie and Josh mess. Jillow is beyond disturbing to me and the fact her behavior was played off for laughs and they got together (!!!!!!)! They gave her behavior a stamp of approval by pairing them off smdh. If it's not too much trouble, could you share your thoughts on Karen and her horrible parenting? Thanks!

Thanks! Last time I posted about something wrong with the show, I didn’t get a good response so this is kinda nice for once!

I felt bad for Maddie no matter what really, but specially during that BS and of course, the season 3 finale, but I aint touching that topic without putting a warning for Anti-Liv stuff.

Jillow was the shit I avoided- any time I saw a dam scene of it, I skipped the channel- SPEICALLY DURING THE NET EPISODE, LET ALONE THE EP WHERE JOEYS FORCED TO SING AND DANCE WITH WILLOW ON LIVE TV. And lord- I know….the only show I can name at this point pointing out the girl was toxic is Andi Mack- Liv and Maddie on the other hand: played it for laughs and then had the pair get together out of the blue despite me cheering when Joey looked relieved to be free almost.

Oh that scream was me btw- I love ranting about Karen Rooney, and half the time compare her to the fantastic parenting off Amy Duncan.

So uh, under read more cause it will be long as shit

So my problems play off with how she acts with her kids, obviously- and before anyone asks, while I have problems with Pete, I cant say hes a bad dad fully as hes a, been off screen fully since the end of season 3, and b, outside of a few incidents, he was a better parent then his wife at this rate.

Lets go with my most disgusted moment yet with Karen- when Evan turned Parker basically into a slave for Karen and Karen fucking went along with it and even smiled throughout it- WTF- im sorry, while I agree chores need to be done- YOU DO NOT GO ABOUT IT LIKE THAT- SHE BASICALLY HAD EVAN BRAINWASH HER SON INTO DOING WHAT SHE WANTS, AND IN THE PROCESS, MOCKED PARKER BY DOING INTERESTS HE ENJOYS IN FRONT OF HIM- LIKE WTF- THE SLAVE PART IS THE MOST DISTURING THING- PARKER ALONE IS A HATED CHARACTER NOW AND THEN, BUT I FELT SO BAD FOR HIM THERE AND THEN CAUSE AGAIN WTF-

Another moment? The first time the Chedder Cheese thing came in- and Pete also gets a bad grade here btw as he appeared in this episode too- but basically, the parents and twins are facing off against each other- so what does this loving mother do? Support them? Encourage them? Give them luck? Or how about she fucking messes with their heads, takes her daughters cell phone in school and then gets a daughter banned from the contest just so she could win DESPITE MADDIE DOING WHAT KAREN DID TO THE TWINS THE ENTIRE EPISODE AND MADDIES BEING SANE COMPARED TO KARENS. Im sorry, but you do not MESS with your daughters HEADS- you do not fucking try to make them late to the contest, you do not get them disqualified cause they gave you a taste of your own medicine and you do not fucking make it look like your love for them is false when you congraduate your husband for telling them he loves them and he just smirks- LIKE WTF-

A minor instance here- but why did she make Maddies college choices about herself? Like, no Pete, DO NOT SUGGEST KAREN FOR HELP- Karen literally made it out to Maddie that Karens more important then Maddie just choosing a college- like at this rate lady, if you were my mom, I’d move out the moment I get the fucking chance and not let you near the grandkids.

Another time- she forces her son Parker into a pagent despite him clearly not wanting to do it and even when he says he doesn’t want to do it, she makes him anyway- and in the same ep, was disgusted at the idea of her daughters being sick- like sorry lady, thought you knew what parenting would be like the moment you became pregnant- thought you knew to not act like your daughters being sick is a nuisance.

BTW, another minor thing but im petty- when your daughter says they fine and don’t need your help with French- don’t force it down her throat, fucking give her the space and let her do it her own way.

Oh and another one! Yep, theres another! In a certain episode, Maddie is selling stuff to raise money for a school trip- and its her own stuff or old stuff, which is fair enough to be sold really- but Karen proves to be a hoarder as she tries to stop her daughter selling her old stuff like, I don’t know, her old scooter and her old doll thing- like Karen is such a hoarder to the point she thinks shes right and therefore, goes to Maddie with the picture she and Liv made as children, you know, the thing that actually means shit compared to the shit Karen is hoarding? Yeah, Karen pushes Maddie into putting a price on it- and while at it, calling it junk and not meaning which is gross as fuck as that’s Liv and Maddies picture and actually means shit compared to Karens stupid toothbrush collection- AND SOMEHOW, KARENS RIGHT WHEN SHE WASNT? NO YOU DICK, YOU MADE MADDIE SELL A IMPORTANT PICTURE COMPARED TO YEARS OLD TOOTHBRUSHES THAT SHOULD HAVE GONG IN THE BIN BY NOW- YOU AINT TEACHING MORALS, YOUR PROVING TO BE A HOARDER.

One more minor thing: She when grounding Maddie and Liv not only bans Maddie from getting a license until shes 18 which is gross as that’s trapping Maddie further with these assholes but she also says Liv has to drive her anywhere where she wants and at Liv’s protest, LAUGHS AND SAYS SHE MAY EVEN HAVE LIV DRIVE HER TO PICK UP THE NEWSPAPER-WAY TO TAKE JOY IN BEING A BAD PARENT BITCH.

Two more points, last ones I swear as I didn’t tune in much for season 4 and these are all the moments I can remember being fully disgusted with:

*Karen trying all the time to get in her daughters space- like, she wont stop getting in on it, claiming shes apart of it when shes not- and yet, she forces herself in so many times and then forces Maddie to send off her Diggie stuff and claims Maddies missing Diggie cause shes wearing sweatbands he gave her….I agree with Maddie here- fucking not right at all.

*This was along with Pete, so again, bad mark to him too- in the ep that Joey and Parker use the Gift Card they gave the parents ages ago, when they via Joey leaving his ID at the place, Karen admits THEY WONT PLANNING TO USE IT MEANING SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN- but both get into their sons heads later and fucking SURROUND Joey singing the Goofy Gary song madly until Joey fesses up- like WTF-

Ok, and my reasons for comparing her to mother Amy Duncan? Amy, while self asorbed now and then and more into getting herself on stage and sometimes letting the spotlight take over her- still gave a dam about her kids to the point she fucking chased Teddy’s teacher throughout the school, was willing to try and help her kids no matter what, loved her kids fully and always learnt her lesson when she stepped beyond boundries- she respected Teddy’s decision and reasonings for keeping the play a secret from her and in response to having a large family, said they wont quitters- she doesn’t care for numbers, she loves her kids- the only time she sometimes pays around with her kids is when they have done bad shit- aka Teddy sneaking out to that party and when the kids lost Charlie almost- like Karen has nothing above Amy.

And its sad to see such a mom existed within Karen- could have had something- but nope- to go with the disturbing Jillow, we had to get bad parenting jokes next that were never called out.

Jesus Christ that got LONG-

[conorpmaynard]

All Started With A Song Part 13 // Conor Maynard

Word Count- 1300

Summary- Conor sees your cover and contacts you

A/n- (feel free to change the friends name I was just too lazy to write y/f/n that may times) GUYS THIS IS IT. ITS HERE. AND ITS OVER. IM SO SAD. THIS HAS BEEN AN AMAZING SERIES THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME. also special thanks to @iheartmyyoutubers and @jackmaynardwifey for skyping me while I wrote this :)

~~

May 2013

“Surprise!!” you all screamed as your brother walked into the back yard. He smiled as his friends hugged him.

You hugged him and smiled, “did i surprise ya?”

He laughed, “yeah, ya did.”

You smiled again, going to mingle with some of the other guests.

“That is your brother?” your friend Alice gawked as he chatted with a friend.

“Don’t be weird.” you scoffed.

“He’s so cute!” she giggled.

“Hey Brandon! Come here!” you called him over and Alice’s smile faded.

“What the hell are you doing?” she whisper-yelled.

“Brandon, this is Alice. Alice, Brandon.” you smiled.

“Hi,” he nodded his head at the brunnette.

“Hey,” she smiled.

“Can you take our pic?” you smirked as you handed her your phone. You grabbed a balloon from the bundle next to the cake and hopped on your brothers back.

“Say cheese!” Alice giggled, but you settled for a kiss on the cheek.

~~

Alice was frozen at the front door. Olivia gave you a look that said ‘what the fuck were you thinking?’ You shrugged and watched the brunette.

“Hi.” your brother said, waiting for a response.

Instead, Alice rushed passed him and down the hallway.

“Alice!” you shouted, but Olivia stopped you.

“Let me.” She rushed passed Brandon as well, heading after your friend.

“What just happened?” Brandon asked, eyeing both you and Conor.

“I don’t know,” you said. “But it’s so good to see you.”

Brandon opened his arms and you ran into them. “I’ve missed you little sis.”

“Ditto big bro.”

“Who’s this?” Brandon motioned towards COnor.

“Brandon, Conor. Conor, Brandon.”

“Sup mate,” Conor awkwardly nodded towards your brother. Brandon gave you an odd look.

“Alright, well you two get to know each other. I am going to find my best friend.”

Before either could argue, you were out the door and down the hallway. Before you rounded the corner you heard, “-she think I’d be happy? He broke up with me! Why would she be so selfish?”

Guilt filled you as you walked around the corner and saw your best friends sat against the wall.

“Alice-”

“Go away,” she interrupted.

“Listen, I didn-” you started again.

“No! I don’t want to see you. Leave me alone.” She wiped the tears from her eyes.

You scoffed, “Okay.” You turned to walk away, the anger inside you rising.

She stood up, “I can’t believe you. I mean, did you really think that would end well?”

You turned around and faced the brunette, “Yeah, I did. Because you guys are obviously meant for each other!”

“He broke my heart! How are we ‘meant for each other?!?’” she yelled, using air quotes.

“Are you serious?” you laughed mirthlessly.

“Just leave,” she waved you off and rubbed her eyes.

You turned to walk away, but your feet didn’t move. The anger inside you was beyond controllable. The words came flowing out before you could stop yourself, “No actually. You know what? I can’t without saying this: Brandon didn’t break up with you because he wanted to. He left for school, and if you seriously think that breaking up with you didn’t absolutely ruin him then you’re the most self centered person i know. I took him months to even change your contact let alone think of another girl. He didn’t break your heart because he didn't love you, he broke it because it would hurt less than breaking it over the phone. So please, stop thinking that everyone is out to get you and grow the fuck up.” you turned around and starting walking back to Alice’s apartment to grab your things.

~~

You and Brandon had gone out to dinner that night to celebrate him coming home. You invited Conor but he insisted that you two go alone. After your meal, you headed back to your apartment for the night.

“Listen,” your brother started as you grabbed a bag of popcorn from the cabinet. “I don’t want to come between you and Alice.”

“Please,” you scoffed.

He gave you a weird look and you continued. “You got between us at your birthday party 3 years ago.”

He chuckled and murmured something like ‘yeah you’re right.’

You two agreed on watching Batman. You wanted to watch 10 Things I Hate About You, but Brandon refused. So you agreed on a different Heath Ledger film.

“Oi!” you laughed. “Get your cold feet off me!”

“Don’t discriminate!” he smiled devilishly, and stuck his toes against your shin.

Brandon had just thrown popcorn at you when the doorbell rang. He gave you a weird look but stood up nonetheless.

“No, I got it.” you jumped up, and walked to the door. You opened it and there stood Alice, tear stained cheeks and blotchy eyes.

“Can we talk?” she said, voice hoarse.

“Who’s we?” you said, still someone annoyed with your friend.

“All of us.” you nodded, and let her in.

The tension in the room was suddenly off the charts. You three headed back to the living room and all sat down. You paused the movie as Brandon cleared his throat.

“So?”

“I’m sorry,” Alice said. “I overreacted.”

“It’s okay.” you smiled. “I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

“It’s alright, I just freaked out a lil.” She laughed lightly.

“Okay, well I’m gonna leave you two alone,” you motioned towards the two. “So you can work it out.”

~~

You quietly sat on your porch as you sipped your tea. You watched as cars passed by and every now and then a person would run passed. You heard the door open and Conor walked out, smiling when he saw you.

“There you are,” he sat next to you, taking your cup of tea.

“Sure. have a sip.” you scoffed, curling into his side.

He grabbed your hand, interlocking your hands. “Are you excited?”

You fiddled with the ring on your left hand, “Of course I am.”

He kissed your temple, “They’ll be here soon, let’s get ready.”

You and Conor both got ready and tidy up a bit before your guest arrived. You were sat on the couch, scrolling through Twitter when the doorbell rang.

“Coming!” Conor shouted, walking to the door. In a matter of seconds you heard two sets of pattering on the floor and suddenly two tiny humans were running to you.

“Aunt Y/n/n!” they both squealed, jumping on the couch to sit next to you.

“Carter!” you laughed, tickling the little boy.

“Beth!” you mimicked, tickling the little girl sat opposite Carter.

“Kids, take off your shoes.” Brandon said, setting down a bag.

“Yes, daddy!” they said in unison as they hopped off the couch.

“Hey,” you smiled, getting up to hug your brother.

“Are we the first ones here?” he asked, hugging you back.

“Yep! Olivia and Sean wont be here til late.”

He nodded and then shook Conor’s hand.

“Wheres-”

Brandon cut you off, “Guestroom.”

You headed up the stairs and to the room. “Babes? You in here?”

“Yeah!” you heard a voice call.

You walked in and saw Alice, holding your newborn niece. “Is she asleep?”

“Barely, want to hold her?”

You smiled and made grabby hands. She was so tiny and holding her made you want a baby for yourself.

~~

After dinner and putting the kids to bed, the six of you were sat into the living room. Olivia and Sean had arrived not too long ago. You were all chatting about the last few months, trying to make up for lost time.

“Y/n? You alright babes?” Alice’s voice brought you out of your thoughts as Conor rubbed your arm.

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Just thinking.”

“About what?” Brandon questioned.

“It’s crazy.”

“What is?” Conor said, placing a hand on your back.

“This,” you motioned towards the people surrounding you. “All started with a song.”