#yeah i have rewatched this absolute legend of a movie again so what

[aenslem]

Peter Weller as Buckaroo Banzai The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

[ofmermaidstories]

hello, darling mermsy!! i’m back, yet again, with another brainrot proposal for you — but this time for our blasty boy!

we’ve heard of dekules, but are we ready for bakushang? shangkugo? (basically just katsuki as li shang, i’m realising only now that there’s no easy way to merge their names together <//3) they’re both tall, dark, brooding, but are soft and caring if you get through to them deep enough. our courageous, troublemaking Y/N and the newly appointed captain of the emperor’s army, bakugo katsuki! what a perfect match!!

i believe this isn’t by any means an original idea!! i know andy has a fic about this (it’s absolutely incredible, melted my brain just three chapters in) if u haven’t already read it!!! just wanted to get your take on this if u haven’t already done one yet, bc i recently rewatched the 1998 mulan and had the lightbulb to word vomit about this to you!!!

hansy!!! my love!!! i’m sorry, i meant to slip into your inbox to wish you well/ask how your exams went—are you free from the perils of schoolwork, yet??? you’re so clever, i bet you did well. 🥺🍀

but okay let’s play, LOL. War Paint was one of the very first BNHA x Reader fics I ever read so I will always be fiercely loyal to it!!! Saying that, and I mean this with nothing but absolute love Andy, DONT @ ME, but reading War Paint gave me less Mulan vibes and more Song of the Lionness ones.

(Simplifying it—really simplifying it—a girl pretends to be her twin brother so she can train as a knight! There’s lots of magic and even some romance and Tamora Pierce has been one of my favourite authors since I was a kid!)

I think it has to do with the fact that War Paint is focused on barrack/training/castle life and the subplot with the thief—whereas when I think of Mulan, I think of war.

Mulan is one of my favourite 🅱️isney movies!!! I first saw it when my primary school had a fundraiser—they set up a projector and screened Mulan and I very distinctly remember being overwhelmingly excited as the opening credits started (I nearly choked on my red twists/twizzlers) and my Dad telling me I had to be quiet LOL. If I had to make a graphic showcasing all the fundamental pieces of media to both my personality and who I became as a person, Mulan would be centre of it. 🥹

(PSA: true to your heart is a bop and has been in my liked songs on spotty ever since i’ve had an account!)

Tbh, I’d never seriously tackle a Mulan-inspired fic just out of respect for Andie Trousers Multipled by Several, but if I did, I would absolutely play hard into the war angle LOL. Maybe even indulge in some war crimes!!! You know that scene where they finally make it to the village in the pass and it’s been burnt to the ground? Yeah. Yeah. 😌 I think we can ramp that up. Have our Reader and Captain Bakugou & Co engage in some Revenge War Crimes. People are bastards in wars already, without feeling justified about it. I was literally just watching a documentary the other week about some Aussie soldier who’s facing trial (has faced trial?) for being an absolute cunt—one of his lighter cruelties involved him shooting a family’s tied-up dog as he searched their home, so take that, take the power people feel like they have when you give them a weapon and a uniform, and then put them in front of a massacred village and see what happens next. 🔪

And idk id guess there’d be a romance in there somewhere too. 💀💀💀💀 tbh im more interested in the war tho LOL. (BECAUSE!!!! LISTEN!!! i like a challenge!!!!!!!! And I think trying to fic-ify an AU that dovetails closely to the (🅱️isney) Mulan tale brings up a lot of interesting questions when it comes to world-building, and like what you need to avoid/honour, especially if you’re borrowing from an actual, real world culture for it. The Mulan legend is Chinese, for starters—and My Hero has a Japanese cast written by a Japanese man. So, okay, maybe to simplify things for ourselves we Fantasy-AU it—but then do we eurocentric the world around them, to play it safe? Is that less playing it safe and more whitewashing? My Hero being Japanese informs the canon characters, which are traits that spill over into our fanon. Traits that we love! So is it a disservice to them to strip them of it, just so we can play War? Does this stripping make it worse when we bring in atrocities like slain villagers, and revenge acts? Do we honour canon by letting them keep their Quirks? How badly does that ramp up things then???? Like, idk, I could literally bang on about this for hours (and have, in the group chat LMAO im sorry besties 😭))

This is literally too much overthinking for your ask, Hansy, I’m sorry. 😭 ITS IMPORTANT THO. Because the world around them informs our characters!!!! So pretending we sort all that out, now we have our upstart, hot-as-shit Captain Bakugou, who has idolised General Toshinori for years now—and he’s out to prove he can train the best of them!!! Except he’s working with like, farm boys! Gutter-rats, given the choice of this or execution! Maybe there’s a cohort of like, genuine scrappers, but Captain Baku here has deliberately been given the bottom of the conscript list: this is a test. And I!! Personally!!! Think that should make him an utter bastard when dealing with our Reader!!! I think in canon, Bakugou is like, learning that people need more than to be told “u suck, do better” so I like to believe Captain Bakugou would try—maybe he and his lil friends learnt hard in a trial by fire when they were kids, during the First War—so he’s earnt this leadership role. But he’s used to fighting with peers! Peers that knew what they were doing! And now he has to oversee the training of like, the most inept civilians he’s ever witnessed! I think we could justify him losing his cool—specifically with our Reader. 😌

A Reader who doesn’t take it!!! I’ve always liked that in 🅱️isney’s Mulan, she does it for her father. So I’d give that same motivation to our Reader—a tomboy who’s always been better at giving the village boys a run for their money in their little games, who’s always wanted to go and play with them when they roughhouse. Maybe to make things more interesting, we introduce a fiancé—one of those same village boys! They grow up together, have an arranged match. Maybe he’s genuinely kind, in love with Reader whereas Reader’s just kinda like, ho-hum—but then the War pt. 2 rolls in, and he’s swept off in the first round of conscription (so that there’s no one left to volunteer in Reader’s place for her dad, in the next round!).

Oh. You know what? We could ramp up that massacred village scene by making his platoon or whatever they’re called the ones that were stationed there—so Reader finds fiancé’s helmet!!!!! And then she’s all like, omg, 😧. And then she could tie it to her saddlebags and eventually bring it home to his folks. 🥺

(Reader and Bakugou could prop themselves up in their grief, maybe? Because I know in the film the stationed army is overseen by Li Shang’s father, right? So maybe in this version it’s like, idk, Jeanist or Edgeshot or something. Maybe Endeavour? Less because I think Bakugou would be cut up about it, and more because that means we could throw Todoroki in there as well, like, presumed dead (and then he’s NOT because I know Andy would have my head if I killed off her Special Angel Man in a fic!!!), but then that means in the meantime that Bakugou can mourn one of his besties (and they are besties!!!)).

I don’t want a dumbass Bakugou, either, so I think we’d have to follow Andy’s lead and have our Captain clue in early-on that Reader has been lying about their identity. And Bakugou just admires tenacity so he’s less like omg my gendernorms are being called into question and more like FUCK why won’t this useless extra get better at FIGHTING??? That could also maybe make any romantic moments kinda interesting—Reader could have this whole internal thing of, oh my God, he doesn’t know the truth, I’m terrible, is he going to be embarrassed when he finds out??? And then you have the actual reveal—someone else making the discovery, and wanting Reader executed for it, and then Bakugou’s refusal to do so is less a begrudging “you saved my life, and now my debt is paid” and more a silent confession of his feelings!!!!

I just—there’s so much you could do!! There’s so much you could do with all of that!!! Urk!!!! I wanna rip into it with my TEETH. I just—aJFDLKSFJLKSDFJLdmfhfskdmhj.

[redfurrycat]

❤️📺Ten (ish) TV-shows I love❤️📺

Tagged by the lovely @renai-chan to do the 'Ten Movies I love' Tag Game.

I already did that, so allow me to redirect you to this post listing my ten movies, and this other one (a much much much much longer version, if you feel up to it).

However, after reflecting about which 10 movies I like the best –what a dilemma it was– I also thought about which 10 TV-shows are my comfort rewatches. I came up easily (surprisingly so) with the selection, so let me share that with you instead! 😊 ❤️

Xena: Warrior Princess

The most badass warrior I have ever seen on TV. What a sight is Lucy Lawless, I fell in love with those gorgeous blue eyes since the moment my child eyes saw them… This tv-show is everything to me. Xena & Gabrielle, the purest soulmates. There were also lots of amazing characters and actors (Karl Urban and Kevin Smith, among others). Produced in New Zealand too… Which is so awesome! <3 (Strong opening theme!)

Stargate SG1/Atlantis

MY FUCKING SCI-FY babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t even tell you why I love these two TV-shows, because I got so overwhelmed about it! I. JUST. LOVE. THEM. SO. MUCH! (I actually watched several Stargate Atlantis episodes just before typing this list.) If you like the genre, GO.WATCH.THESE! (Amazing opening themes as well! <3)

Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (the 20-min-episode tv-show)

I’ve watched every rerun on TV since it has been broadcasted. It is tied to my childhood, so I’m rather attached to it! I prefer this version over the more recent one, which is a bit too dark compared to the comedic one. Salem is so funny! He’s I-C-O-N-I-C! :P

Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman/// House MD

My absolute two favourite tv-shows involving doctors… though they are very different from one another. Western drama vs. medical drama. It’s really not your typical medical show however.

A female physician from a 19th-wealthy family moving in the wild west to establish a practice. She feels very deeply and has a strong moral compass. The themes mentioned are quite serious (which I like) as you have, for instance, a close-minded-white-men little village, a woman working a man job, Cheyenne tribes being mistreated so are the black people and any other non-White people. Of course, it is still a tv-show, so I don’t how historically-accurate it is. But so not as sappy as Grey’s Anatomy if you know what I mean. 😊

AND the Sherlock doctor. Hugh Laurie is magnificent in this out-of-the-ordinary, junkie, snarky genius of a doctor!  

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Do I really need to spell it? MASTER OF THE ELEMENTS. AIRBENDING. WATERBENDING. FIREBENDING. EARTHBENDING. THIS IS SO FREAKING COOL!!!!!! The Legend of Korra is good too!

White Collar

The adventures of an FBI agent and his con artist/thief consultant. YUP. It is as cool as it sounds. All the characters are lovely as well!

Downton Abbey

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE BRITISH PERIOD DRAMA EVER. It is about the aristocratic Crawley family and their servants’ life during the earliest 20th century. The cast is realllllllllllllly good! A lot of good characters, strong episodes (very emotional sometimes)! Dame Maggie Smith is killing it as the Dowager Countess of Grantham, the sass in this character’s lines and faces!!!!! XD (Again, the opening theme is SO GOOD!)

Once Upon a Time

A very nice tv-show where fairytales characters are transported into the real world because of a curse. The cast is INSANE! :O Nice revisit of famously known fairytales!!!! I have a thing for the accents…Well, there are a lot of different accents to listen to!

Lucifer

It’s probably one of the last (new-ish) TV-show I’ve watched from the beginning to the end. The British (again with the accent) Devil’s adventures with the Detective (yeah… it’s her official name! XD). Very good chemistry between Tom Ellis and Lauren German! And the other characters are equally as good!!!!!!!!!

Prison Break

Season 1 was the best. Truly. The idea was so original when the tv-show came out! Wentworth Miller’s acting is pure *chef’s kiss*. (That’s why I love Captain Cold so much btw, especially because Dominic Purcell is also his Rogues buddy in The Flash). Also, I’ve never loved the crookiest of the crook characters so much than how I love T-Bag. He’s the worst, but OMG his lines and mimicking (Robert Knepper did a fine job!)

As I already did the tagging before, I won’t do it again, but I let this open. Anyone feeling like talking about their comfort TV-shows are more than welcomed to do this “other version” of the tag game! 😉

[tuffdwightwest]

This year really is throwback year for me. Been watching a lot of my old shows and revisiting old fandoms. It's cool to know that some are still active, Storm Hawks woo, sad to see others are dead ;~; but I've honestly been really enjoying myself.

Of the ones I rewatched I'm gonna make a top ten tier list of the ones that held up how I remember and ones that didnt.

10. Golden Compass

Specifically the movie that I was obsessed with as a child. Honestly it still held up and I feel like I actually understood way more then when I did as a child. I just put it as number 10 cause although I did enjoy the experience it didn't really spark anything new. Good movie though! I bought the new series to compare.

The greatest draw for the Golden Compass was always the world building to me. I remember as a child imagining myself with my own Daemon. We need more Golden Compass AUs.

9. Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness

Ironically I revisited this game before Jaiden haha. I secured a Gamecube controller around January and brought ye old gamecube out of storage for a binge. Honestly a played a bunch of games besides this one, X-Men Legends, Finding Nemo, etc. But this one stood out the most.

It was honestly a lot of fun. I love the world of Orre and although I think Paldea is now my favorite Orre remains the second and is strongly there. This region was so fascinating and there has yet to be a team to top Cipher in my eyes. These guys were generally threatening to me. The characters were eh though and it was really the world building and story that kept me going.

I know it's never going to happen but gah I wish we could get a remaster or even better a new game in this region.

8. Kim Possible

This was the summer binge and I watched all movies and series. Yes even the live action recent one. All in all it was pretty enjoyable. Kim is badass, Ron is adorable and Shego is 😮. It was amusing to remember what I could and couldn't remember. Although I put it lower then the others for one reason.

As a child I absolutely loved the Kim/Ron pairing but rewatching it now... I actually didn't care for it as much. Kim was always pushing Ron aside, wouldn't hang out with him in school cause of her reputation. It honestly painted her in a light that hurt. Still an amazing story with great characters. My favorite episode definitely being the one where Drakken raps. Just wish

7. Wizards of Waverly Place

I was obsessed with this show as a child. Although ironically I remember not liking Alex at all. Also ironically I still hold that sentiment. Just not as strongly. Alex was great and the series(and movie) were fun. Again the draw was the world but I'm still mad that only one person could technically be a wizard. Such a lame world but that's the world they live in.

Good magical shenanigans and honestly not too goofy with the visual effects. I remembered more of a story so was surprised when this really didn't seem to have one till later. Regardless still enjoyed myself. Also side note but her parents are goals. Think as an adult they are my favorite characters.

6. X-Men(90s Cartoon)

Does a mall rat eat chili fries. Although this one got number 6 I will say this show is so dated. You can definitely tell it was the 90s but I actually kind of like it for that reason. Its over the top but surprisingly mature. With the first episode starting with Morph dying then the team mourning afterwards.

I was honestly surprised by what they did show in it. I know it was based on the comics(which I also own and am a huge fan of). But for a kids adaptation of it they didn't change much. Honestly I wish I would place this one higher just simply due to the themes and the impact of the stories. Only reason I'm not is cause obviously the show is borrowing from the cartoons.

But yeah, if you were thinking of watching it. I highly recommend it. It is very 90s but still very mature and probally the best experience I had rewatching as an adult. Show had me crying on more then one occasion. Let yourself get immersed in the world and I'm sure you will enjoy yourself as well.

5. Bakugan

I admit I should probally put this a bit lower. Cause I watched the second and third season and was utterly neutral on them. However... the first season was as I remembered and this was one of my childhood top ten favorites so... of course its gonna make the top five.

Great Pokemon knock off with characters I still love. Honestly Dan was the weakest character for me but he still was great. I love the main group and the creature designs. Preyes, my favorite as a child, was more annoying then I remembered but was still wonderful. Never skipped the opening once haha.

All in all it was pretty solid and unlike a lot of the other shows on here. It actually hopped into the plot by the first episode. There was not a lot of fillers. Just wish the series after it didn't just throw it all away.

4. My Babysitters A Vampire

I'm actually surprised I'm rating this here cause in a way the others are probally better but... I loved every one of the characters, the world is very bare bones but what we do have is extremely intriguing. Most of the show I was honestly just trying to learn more about the world. It was fascinating and opened up a lot of questions.

The queer subtext was also amazing. I swear not one of these characters are straight. As someone who likes plot usually this series did not get into it until way later. Being more of a monster of the week type show. The monsters were fun though and contributed to the world, and again the characters are great, which is why I think I was lenient.

Might actually do a fic related to this one down the line. Mostly to dump my own headcanons down and cause I looked and there was not a fic with what I was looking for.

3. Teen Titans

By no surprise to anyone... yes this was amazing to start to finish. I was going in with high expectations and it delivered. As someone who also reads the comics honestly this rendition of them is still my favorite to date. Beast Boy is still my favorite but have to say on rewatch Cyborg is equal or maybe even overpassed him.

The show was just great. Honestly not much more needed to be said here. It was how I remembered and great still. In terms of just quality this is actually number 1. It was only surpassed by the other 2 cause honestly it's perfect. I watched it and left satisfied but with no need to hop into the fandom or even read fanfics for it. It gave me what I needed and then I moved on.

2. Ben 10

I have to admit watching the first series that everyone completely hypes up. I was disappointed. Ben was annoying, Gwen was stuck up and honestly at first it was not living up to how I remembered. Then I moved onto Alien Force and the next ones. And that... was where the fond memories of waking up every Saturday to watch Ben 10 came from.

Kevin joining them and becoming a good guy. Fire. I always enjoy redemption arcs and he was honestly amazing. Gwen was honestly a bamf and her pink magic, amazing. Ben was genuine and honestly probably my favorite protagonist as someone who has a problem of usually tossing away the main character in favor of sides.

And of course, omg the aliens. I lovvvveee them so much. Their designs, seeing native versions of them. The creature design of this series is phenomenal and the action scenes honestly hold up even now. Honestly I think there is a reason Ben 10 keeps coming back. The world that he is apart of is amazing. I'd love like an adult CW cartoon just called: "The Plumbers" or something. Just to stay engrossed in this world.

I did watch a bit of the new series but admittedly wasn't as big of a fan of it. It was okay but I enjoyed the more mature themes of the 'teen' versions of them.

1. Storm Hawks

Atmos. A world of a thousand mountain top kingdoms.

And full of some of the coolest world building based on barely anything I had seen in awhile. This show immediately got me rehooked to Atmos the minute I started. The Sky Bikes were amazing to watch, the various other races in the world really added as well. Also I genuinely liked pretty well every character seen. Especially the main cast. They all... got along, it felt very organic and fun.

Honestly this one hurt the most to rewatch and get to that cliffhanger ending. The show wasn't that long but Ah I wish it was more. I would want a return to the world of Atmos. Whether with the Storm Hawks or someone else. I've even started to write some fanfic for it just to get the excitement out that I had for retouching on this fandom.

This is so far I have a list of others that I'm going to be checking out. And hey if anyone has any other recommendations I'd be down. Most of these I watched just cause I randomally got sparked or reminded of the fandom.

My next 5 on the list though are:

1. Atomic Betty

I remember this one fondly so I hope it was as good as I remember. It's just a matter of finding it.

2. Martin Mystery

I remember this show was super scary when I was younger. Doubt itll 'scare' me now but I'm still excited to watch.

3. Class of the Titans

I only remember an episode that had a vampire in it and that's about it. Really excited to see this one. And also see that episode apparently with the vampire.

4. Secret Saturdays

Monster fighting family with a sasquatch. Yeah I'm down. This one will be interesting though cause although I know I watched it. I know I wasn't that into it as a child. Still I want to see it again.

5. Transformers Animated

I saw an image of Prowl and it reminded me of this one. I never saw it on actual tv but I remember renting the series at the video store as a child and binging them. I'm real excited to watch this one again honestly. I might start with it as Transformers has always been great.

[ryttu3k]

End of year meme! Check out last year's version here!

1. Song of the year?

Måneskin - Honey! (Are U Coming?), although Fifteen's theme from Doctor Who has grasped me over the last few days. More music-specific stuff here!

2. Album of the year?

Strictly speaking the only full album I heard was Måneskin - Rush, and that had… some issues even though I love most of it, haha.

3. Favourite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Can we count the BG3 soundtrack as a new artist?

4. Movie of the year?

I rewatched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory last night and that was... it, so that, I guess!

5. TV show of the year?

I still haven't recovered from Good Omens season 2.

6. Episode of TV or webisode that defined the year for you?

Episode 2.06 of Good Omens, Doctor Who - all four specials.

7. Favourite actor of the year?

Honestly it's gotta be David Tennant. Like, between Good Omens and Doctor Who? Yeah. Neil Newbon comes in a very close second, though!

8. Game of the year?

It's a. It's actually a tie which is goddamn unheard of in a Zelda release year, but Baldur's Gate 3 genuinely nearly kicked Tears of the Kingdom aside??

9. Best month for you this year?

Oh man tricky. Do I say October because I went on my first actual proper holiday in eight and a half years? November for the Maneskin concert? Or do they lose points because I had COVID in late Oct/early Nov? Let's skip both and go with June (Vivid down in Sydney and the single greatest sorbet I've ever tried, a super fun VtM tabletop session, and got Operation YEETerus more or less confirmed)!

10. Something that made you cry this year?

Cried pretty much the whole way through the end of Tears of the Kingdom, does that count?

11. Something you want to do again next year?

Ooh I'd love to go back down to Sydney for Vivid!

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

Shrug emoji. You're all cool.

13. How was your birthday this year?

Super chill. Ordered pizza and ate ice cream, and a few days earlier when my brother came up, we went to one of our favourite Lebanese restaurants.

14. Favourite book you read this year?

A top three - Hell Followed With Us, Space Opera, and Camp Damascus! You can check my book-specific stuff here!

15. What's a bad habit you picked up this year?

Not sure I picked any up? Still haven't ditched the finger-chewing, alas.

16. Post a picture from the beginning of the year

A haul from Sydney in January. Hell Followed With Us and Legends and Lattes were bought new, as were most of the CDs. The other three books and the Sigur Ros CD were second-hand.

17. Post a picture from the end of the year

Okay so on the cruise (late October, I'm gonna say it counts) each floor on the stairwell nearest our cabin had these like, sailing/ships/cruising-type collages, right? Golden Age of Sail, 50s cruising, all that stuff. Which is fine! Great! Except one of them was this!

For the love of god, why would you think an image of the Titanic sinking would be appropriate for a cruise ship?!

18. A memorable meal this year?

The hazelnut sorbet of the gods. Listen. Sydneysiders, listen, if Rivareno Gelato is doing the hazelnut that week you have to try it.

19. What're you excited about for next year?

Australian Literature Festival at Sea! Not until December, but it should be fun as hell!

20. What's something you learned this year?

I did a course on how to make an author site! I should. Do that.

21. What's something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?

We started fixing up the old, kinda leaking upstairs bathroom! Gonna be moving back upstairs once it's done!

22. Favourite place you visited this year?

Eden in southern NSW, and Bonorong Wildlife Sanctuary in Hobart <3 Both on the cruise. Eden was absolutely gorgeous and Bonorong had critters.

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

You're gonna get COVID on the cruise. Yes, even wearing your mask and sanitising every five seconds. Bring decongestants because you'll also pick up sinusitis at the same time.

24. Did you keep any New Year's Resolutions?

Didn't make any :D

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

Probably the two main ones are my first two BG3 characters? A custom Tav, Ta'varin 'Tae' Arkenval, and my beloved Durge baby, Tavias. I'm probably most attached to Tavias, he is going through The Horrors while being the pureblooded child of the God of Murder and also just trying to be a nice person. Wish him luck as I enter act 3!

[jade-it-queen]

Jade. The fate of female character in Mortal Kombat

It’s been a while since I posted anything on my blog cause I’ve been busy with my life and rapid changes in it. During this time, I’ve watched the new 2021 Mortal Kombat movie as well as the new animation Battle of the realms and also rewatched the Story Mode of MK11 a few times. As you probably can tell, I have a lot to say.

JADE. MILEENA. KITANA. SONYA.

Skip this if you don’t want to read my very important (and long as sh*t) rant about female characters in MK.

DISCLAIMER. This thing is going to sound extremely feminist and women-supremacist or whatever. By saying things that I’m going to say, I by no means think that male characters should be weak or lacking. If anything, it would be nice to have some godforsaken EQUALITY. I’ll explain further later.

Part One: Mortal Kombat (2021)

There’s no Jade in this movie. 

The end. That should be the sole reason I dislike it.

However, it might be better this way since the Nitara and Mileena portrayals in this movie are... questionable to say the least. Okay, y’all been robbed. If MY JADE would be brought into this movie to BE THERE for like 4 minutes of screen time only to get absolutely brutal FATALITY I. would. be. pissed.

More than I already am and that means something.

Sure, there’s a possibility that she’s going to be present in some of the upcoming movies because this one is definitely not the only one they’re going to make. But do I want that? Yes. And no.

Mortal Kombat movies (and Mortal Kombat in general) have a problem with women portrayal in general. The target audience for them are MEN, potentially heterosexual men, who want nothing more than bloody gorey fighting scenes with occasional sex scene here and there. To achieve that, they need a female lead, an attractive, kinda kick-assish but not too much, to not overshadow the absolutely badass men characters. Girls tend to be “independent” (because God forbid they’d want to express interest in the male leads before the time is right), sarcastic, laid back and sometimes even bitchy. Because, you see, they are fighters. And they are Sonya Blade. They need NO MAN. They just need plot armor, bigger than America itself. And if they’re not Sonya Blade, they are... non existent. They are there, but they are never really there. Here, let me walk on screen for a couple seconds. Let me sit beside Very Important Male Character (aka Shang Tsung) for a couple of seconds, looking absolutely gorgeous. Let me have a fight scene in which I make choices so f*cking stupid there’s no potential explanation to it. I exist in this movie to make people that love me (this character) to come into theatres in hopes to see some good action and interesting plot.

Now, I wasn’t born yesterday, I know how the world works. It’S bEeN LiKe ThAt FoReVeR, gEt OvEr here iT. Yeah, it’s been like that forever and the result is a mediocre movie that pleases neither the casual viewer, nor the actual Mortal Kombat fan. I don’t know, there might be guys who just saw Kung Lao’s fatality on Nitara, thought to themselves “Neat” and went on with their lives. But I exited the cinema with a sour taste in my mouth, feeling like I’ve watched one of the “fighting genre” films based on video games that had nothing worth remembering. Well, besides Kano. He was my favourite part of this movie and I  normally can’t stand the guy :’D

Would it really help if they changed the way the women were portrayed? I mean - is that the ACTUAL problem of the movie? No, women being the eye candy and barely something else (if they’re not Sonya Blade) are not the only problem it suffers from. It’s that MK has been going the same route, retelling the same goddamn story for the millionth time. It’s always THE SAME. The only thing changing is who’s gonna get brutally killed. But - of course - out of the “disposable” character pool. It’s never Sonya (because you need our female lead or else there would be no female characters in the story), who ya know could be killed by Mileena but magically WASN’T. Because Mileena FOR SOME REASON was like: Ya know what? Naaah. Even though Sonya’s from Earthrealm and is actively trying to stop you. If anything, kill her because she annoys you. BUT NAH. It’s never Liu Kang because he’s the Chosen One. But killing Kung Lao is fine, he can die so Liu can awaken or smth. It’s not the main character because how else can you portray THE MAGIC OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP? Ya, that’s what I thought, don’t even think about it.

You have an amazing universe, filled to the brim with SO. MUCH. POTENTIAL. Let go of the same boring plot line and show us Kombat from another perspective. Change something. F*ck, go all feminist route and make a story center around Mileena dominating the world. Try with different versions of the same story, making it center around different character each time. 

SURE, YOU’LL PROBABLY LOSE SOME VIEWERS BUT TIMES ARE CHANGING, AND MOST OF US ARE TIRED TO PAY FOR THE SAME STORY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Part Two: Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms

Jesus f*cking Christ.

To say this film was rushed is an understatement. While I was watching it, I was like: TF? Everything happens all at once, we have Kuai Liang-Scorpion story line, we have Outworld’s attack, the tournament, not to mention the final fight that should be whole another movie. I felt like no story line was properly laid out, some of the characters died before I got to even know them and the battles were... disappointing. I believe they needed to push this movie out so they squished in everything they had and just went with it. 

But, again, this movie just repeats the same things as its live action version. Let me lay it down for you:

Kung Lao dies (because yes)

Sonya Blade lives (because yes)

Jade is just there (more of it later)

disposable characters are disposed of

Liu Kang is badass and always wins

You watch it and feel like you’ve already seen it before. Sure, gore is fine, human Raiden is precious and need to be protected at all costs and adrenaline is pumping (I guess).

BUT NOW.

You know what’s coming.

JADE.

JADE.

My f*cking piece of sunshine, the gorgeous goddess of beauty and kombat, the woman who owns my heart.

She’s there for like not even a minute.

Words can’t describe how f*cking PISSED I am by this portrayal. These motherfrickers put her in EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE SNIPPET OF THIS MOVIE. HER BATTLE WAS IN THE TRAILER, ONE OF THE SNEAK PEEKS WAS A SCENE OF HER AND KITANA.

TURNS OUT EVERYTHING I SAW BEFORE THE MOVIE WAS RELEASED... WAS EVERYTHING I WAS ABOUT TO SEE OF HER!!!!

THEY MADE ME HYPED UP FOR NOTHING!!!!!!

I know I’m not the only one riding this trolley. Li Mei was there just to be killed. Kung Lao had a f*cking single dialogue line and then BAM, fatality, buh-bye. But I was watching everything of this movie, being so enormously happy that I will finally see Jade in the movies, FINALLY! Only for her to be present in a single scene, get her ass kicked by Liu Kang (what’s new) and then she’s never seen again, even when the whole f*cking world is breaking apart.

Again. She’s just there. Ladies and gentlemen, one of the best Shao Kahn’s assassins, gets her ass kicked in fourty seconds. They NEVER let her speak ffs. She just spews some general villanous sh*t and proceeds to step on Johnny. Then, she just goes Observer mode as Kitana “betrays” Shao Kahn, gets tied to the column and then the world is ending. 

WHERE THE F*CK IS SHE?!

If you hype me up for her every chance you get, at least GIVE ME what you’re advertising. This is a scam. This is criminal offense. And homophobic. She is more than a revealing outfit and Liu Kang’s punching bag. I’m SO. F*CKING. TIRED. OF THIS. SH*T.

Kitana. The rebellious princess of Outworld... turned damsel in distress in this movie. Her role is so effing bad it hurts me to my core. You see her as a general being so badass and independent... oh right, we need Liu Kang to save her because he needs to maintain his hero look. And we need two kissing scenes. How do we get there? Oh, right, let him save her, because you know - that’s what makes wahmen kiss you. 

ARE YOU NUTS?!

The movie started just fine, with Kitana being in charge with her right hand, Jade. Then, obviously, they water her down and soon she is a princess in a tower (in this case, princess on a column) that needs her buffy sexy man to save her. Oh, and she can’t resist him - you know, every normal girl’s reaction to getting untied is to kiss a guy you’ve known for like a few hours but seen before and you’ve talked like three dialogue lines in total. Sure.

Kitana just gets the unfortunate role of a female main character. She’s Liu’s love interest and that makes her take the role of a strong (but surface level, only) woman who still needs her hero to free her. Classic damsel in distress story, with Kitana being the princess, Liu being the Prince charming and Shao Kahn as the dragon (lul). Of course, they try to cover this up by making Kitana a general, letting her win a few fights but it won’t matter in the end. Some say that women want to believe in fairy tales but the more I see fighting games’ lore, the more I say it’s the men who want to believe them. 

Is it necessarily bad? No. But it’s boring as fuk.

I would like to ask the directors to stop being so afraid of upsetting the target audience. Target audience can change and sometimes it comes out better than originally planned. My Little Pony was designed as a child’s cartoon but it was the creepy men who made it reach the top. Morally? Questionable at best. But business is booming, right? And that’s what they care for, right?

All I’m trying to say is these days women and gays are the future.

Thank you for today, more to come. I’m going to rant about the Story Mode.

[solar-pxwered]

A List Of Norman Reedus Movies/Shows I Have Seen And My Opinions On Them

1. The Boondock Saints

The Best. A classic. Bloody and inappropriate and if I remember my count correctly, contains 194 “fucks” or variations of it (this movie certainly illustrates the diversity of the word). Terrible Irish accents. A KICKASS soundtrack. Willem DeFoe crossdressing. Dropping toilets on people’s heads. Over the top action sequences. Cheesy dialogue. Campy as fuck. I freakin’ love it.

2. The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

Some people didn’t like this one as much as the first one, and I admit that I wasn’t as fond of the new detective in this one as I was of Smecker...but, overall, I really enjoyed it and I drove 2 hours to see it in theaters. I love Romeo more than Rocco. The humor was on point. It was nice to see the original actors for Doc, Dolly, Duffy and Greenley. There was more terrible Irish accents, another KICKASS soundtrack, cheesy dialogue, over the top action sequences, still campy as fuck. I freaking love it.

3. The Walking Dead

Cannot even describe how much I love this show. I have ALWAYS loved zombie related shows and movies so this show was right up my alley from the very beginning all the way back in 2010. I watched it religiously every Sunday. I adore this roller coaster ride of a show and I especially adore Daryl, Carol and Jerry. This show has it all: Comedy, drama (hella lots of that), tragedy and triumph...and it never fails to pulls me in and hold my interest.

4. Mimic

Honestly, I saw this a LONG time ago and I hated it because...well, because I have a cockroach phobia, ok?! Don’t judge. Norman’s part was pretty small, not one of his lasting impressions on me.

5. Six Ways To Sunday

This is a weird one. It’s about an overly innocent 18 year (played by Norman) who gets involved in the Mob and develops an alter ego that’s violent and his complete opposite. There’s murder, prostitutes and good ol’ fashioned mother-son incest and it wasn’t a movie I suggest for the lighthearted or anyone with those sort of triggers. 

That being said, I watched the whole thing and didn’t hate it. It was just uncomfortable...as seems to be a theme with Norman Reedus movies.

6. Dark Harbor

This fucking movie...

Ok, so, I’ll be straight with you: I really enjoyed this dumbass movie. It had me guessing right up to the very end and it took me on a very strange ride along the way. 

If watching someone sexually feed a woman a poisonous mushroom, lots of dark eyed staring scenes or Norman Reedus making out with Alan Rickman is your thing, then go for it. 

7. Let the Devil Wear Black

It’s modern Hamlet. What else is there to say? If you like Hamlet, you’ll like this movie. If you like pre-car accident, baby face Reedus with the black hair, you’ll like this movie. I liked it.

8. 8MM

You know what the best thing about this movie is? Nicholas Cage. He steals the damn show no matter what movie he’s in and no one can even deny that fact. Norman’s part in this one is pretty small too but I liked this movie anyway because...well, Nick Cage. Enough said.

9. Bad Seed

I honestly can’t remember how this movie ends, all I remember was that it wasn’t at all how I expected it. I liked this movie because it’s a psychological thriller and that’s my most favorite genre of all time. The movie’s premise is a guy suspects his wife of having an affair and comes home one night and finds her murdered so he goes after her lover (Reedus) to try and kill him because he believes he was the one who killed her. It’s a cat and mouse chase sort of thing...now I need to rewatch it because I can’t, for the life of me, remember how it ends.

10. Gossip

Ok, no JOKE, this is the best movie I ever randomly discovered and I can’t believe how many people have never heard of it! It’s got some big names in it (Lena Headey, Norman Reedus, James Marsden and Kate Hudson to name a few).

It’s a psychological thriller/mystery drama in which three friends start a rumor at their school as a social experiment for their class. The rumor grows, however, and suddenly it’s out of their hands and spiraling out of control. People start getting hurt, reputations get dragged through the mud and then it escalates to the point of someone losing their life. The three main characters {Reedus, Headey and Marsden) try to figure out the truth behind the out of control rumors and discover more than they ever imagined, or ever wanted.

I HIGHLY recommend this movie. I really, REALLY do. The ending is one of the best twists I’ve seen in a LONG time.

11. The Beatnicks

This movie is so weird. It’s like...it’s just really weird. It revolves around two beat poets who find a magic box that somehow magically helps them get good at being poets but it’s like...an evil box and so they decide to only use it once and then get rid of it. Yeah, it’s a weird movie. Not my highest suggestion.

12. Blade II

Ok, if you’ve never seen the Blade Trilogy then I just don’t even know what to tell you. 

My favorite of the three movies, Blade 2 gives us the glorious Reedus character of Scud, the pot smoking, horrible-shirt-wearing, mechanical genius and Blade’s sidekick. Not only is he precious and adorable, the movie in all is enjoyable and has a fun rave-esque soundtrack. 

The one thing I hate? *SPOILER ALERT* Scud’s scummy betrayal.

13. Tough Luck

This is another one of those movies that I liked but it’s just so freaking weird. 

It’s a psychological drama where a down on his luck con artist, Archie (Reedus), tries to rip off a carnival worker and gets caught. As punishment, he’s hired to work at the carnival  to pay off the debt. He gets involved in a scheme to murder the owner’s wife, but falls in love with her in the process.

Things go to shit. He gets the short end of the stick. More plots and lies develop. It’s all twisted until the end and the answers fall into place.

I really like this movie, it’s one that I kept and still have my copy of. 

A word of warning though, never leave this movie on your movie shelf for your father to find and watch while you’re away at college, resulting in your mother calling you and asking you why you have such a nasty movie. Because the sex scene at the end is OUTRAGEOUS. I mean, it is the FUNNIEST fucking sex scene I have ever seen in my life and I can’t ever watch it without cringing and laughing. My mother, however, didn’t think it was funny at all and my father was too shocked to even form a sentence.

I highly suggest this trippy as hell movie.

14. Octane

Ok, to be fair, this movie is actually alright, although Norman’s character gets the shittiest death possible. I mean, imagine dying because some psycho vampire kisses you and bites your tongue out. That’s one shitty death.

But, overall, this is a good thriller. Johnathan Rhys Meyers plays the villain and he’s always pretty quality. The story is basically a teenager has a disagreement with her mom and gets picked up by this drugged up, blood sucking, vampire wannabe cult and indoctrinated joining them. Her mother joins up with a tow truck driver (Reedus) whose daughter was also kidnapped years ago and who has been hunting the cult down ever since. 

It was a cringe filled, yet interesting, movie and I didn’t hate it.

15. John Carpenter’s Cigarette Burns

This is John Carpenter....OF COURSE I liked this one. 

I won’t say what it’s about because that would ruin the story, but it’s part of an anthology and John Carpenter loved Norman’s role so much he STILL talks about it today and suggests Norman to people in the industry.

It’s a good one if you’re into horror shorts or anthologies or the genius of the legend that is John Carpenter.

16. A Crime

I had completely forgotten about this movie until I started making this post, but now that I remember...I REALLY liked this one!!

This is a pretty sad one, but it was very good and Norman’s acting in it is absolutely wonderful. His character’s wife was murdered and the suspect was never found so his neighbor, who really likes him, creates a fake culprit so that he can finally get some closure. 

This is a good one. I suggest this one if you’re in the mood for a strange sort of romance movie that has underlying thriller tones.

17. Moscow Chill

I remember watching this one, and I remember enjoying it, but I honestly can’t remember anything about it except that it’s a Russian film in which Norman plays a computer hacker who gets hired to hack into a Russian bank and gets caught and put in prison. But I honestly can’t remember what happens in detail.

If you like foreign movies with hacking and subterfuge plots, then give it a try because I do remember enjoying it while I watched.

18. Red Canyon

This one is kinda fucked up. Imagine Daryl Dixon mixed with Breaking Bad mixed with Deliverance and you’ve pretty much got the story...

A brother and sister return to their mother’s hometown to settle things and put their horrible past behind them...but upon returning they end up reliving the nightmare all over again.

It’s a good thriller/horror watch, but there are scenes of sexual violence so if that’s not something you can handle, then don’t watch this one.

19. Hero Wanted

This. Is. A. GOOD. Movie.

Cuba Gooding Jr. is the lead and he does an AMAZING job. Gooding’s character is a garbage man who falls in love with a girl who never takes any notice of him. To get her attention, he stages a heist in which he is supposed to jump in, save the day, and win the girl...only the heist turns out to be real and he is shot and the girl is also shot in the process. He sets out for revenge and gets in way over his head.

Norman’s part in this isn’t very big...but HOLY SHIT, was it impactful. His character didn’t have a lot of screen time, in comparison to a lot of other people, but he had a solid backstory and reason for being involved and MY GOD did I cry about it. This was actually the first movie of his I watched AFTER discovering Boondock Saints and it solidified my love for his acting abilities.

A very good watch. Highly suggest.

20. Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

This one is pretty ok, actually, as far as lame horror movies go. 

The plot is simple: Blonde, beardy, corn farmer Norman gets slowly driven insane by the haunted scarecrow in his field that he thinks putting up is a good idea for some damn reason. He starts to get more and more violent and rapey as time goes on until his family is forced to take up arms against him.

It’s not bad. Second part in what I THINK is a trilogy? I’ve only ever seen the first two. If you like horror movies then this one is a good watch. As I mentioned though, there is an attempted rape scene in this one so just be aware.

21: Pandorum

It’s an alien movie. Astronauts run into a species that is stronger and hungry for tasty humans. Shepard (Norman’s character) doesn’t make it out alive. If you’re not in the mood to see Norman get LITERALLY gutted or other characters get nommed by aliens, then don’t watch.

If you ARE, then go ahead and watch, because it was pretty alright.

[maxwell-grant]

Since you brought it up, how would a Shadow/Predator story go? Both are transgressors, do you go the obvious route of a Predator interrupting the Shadow's carefully laid plans, or does the Predator come back to his ship after a hunt only to hear the Laugh.

Both are good and could be in it, but I'd do something else. And for once, I'm glad I don't have to think hard at all about this because the Predator is not at all complicated and neither are my feelings for it.

I fucking love the Predator. To me, Predator is synonymous with dumb fun. It's the star of a concept so unrelentingly stupid, a slasher in a Schwarzenegger film who is both the violent foreign threat as well as the roided out gun-toting action movie star, that it loops back into genius. I always think about the fun I have quoting this movie with a friend I made in film school and how we always do the DILLON handshake as a greeting and god now I'm making myself sad again over this stupid quarantine, okay back on track.

Rewatching Predator recently also made me realize that, besides the monster being deeply cool and yeah, bloodthirsty murderer and threat to the human race it may be and all, The Predator's also the one I always root for. When it's in good films (which are, uh, 2 I guess? I still gotta revisit Predator 2 someday), you look forward to the tension it brings and the creative murders and all that. When it's in bad films, you know his kills are gonna be the only fun part of it anyway. And much like how a strong part of Jason's appeal is the gruesome ways he dismembers deeply unlikable characters, revisiting Predator makes me think: as funny and quotable as these guys may be, these assholes absolutely have it coming for what they did to that guerilla village and whoever else they trampled in their careers, and even they seem to know it.

I'm not sure how intentional it was on the movie's end, but having a bunch of macho CIA-backed military assholes as the protagonists of a slasher film is a brilliant choice because I have absolutely zero problems with watching these people be gruesomely torn apart by something that, really, is just doing to them what they do to others. There's parts of the film that definitely do feel like this was intentional and frame the Predator almost as a jungle warrior visiting payback on these invading assholes , although that may just be my brain making unintended connections, since "vengeful jungle protector enacting violence on colonizing trespassers" is a very common figure on Brazilian folk legends.

Can't imagine why. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So yeah, on paper you'd have to make it a conflict between The Shadow and Predator. Obviously the agents could not be involved since they can't die (and should not die), so this would really be a Shadow solo adventure, and The Shadow can't die either. So I guess it's gonna be a cops and robbers story sort of like the Batman and Predator crossover where the two are going on about their business until one interrupts the other's story, and then they fight and The Shadow's gotta put the Predator down and actually no, that's boring, fuck that. That's not what I want to do with Predator meeting The Shadow.

I want them to kick ass together.

Maybe it's either an outcome of them targeting the same people while trying to kill each other, maybe it's just a one-shot gruesome battle between the two that also leads to a lot of scumbags caught in between dying. Or maybe it's an anti-hero Predator who's established a working relationship with The Shadow out of a warrior's respect and, in return for teaching The Shadow how to prepare for a scenario where the Predators invade Earth, The Shadow directs it to villains that can give it a worthy fight. Maybe some rich assholes have brainwashed kidnapped Predators into a death squad they set loose in populations helpless to fight back, and said Predator wants to rescue it's allies and go home, and The Shadow wants to stop the villain, so they team up.

Maybe The Shadow upgrades his arsenal from Predator technology, or said anti-hero Predator BECOMES THE SHADOW and starts prowling the streets in a slouch hat and cape and figures it likes it so much it's gonna stay here and maybe fight some more evil assholes. Or, or maybe it's gonna return to the ship and go around dressed like that and form a society of Predators away from home who become an intergalactic fighting force for justice.

Whatever is done with this premise I think needs to be deeply, deeply stupid, and deeply fun. I want two slasher horror buddies having fun killing scumbags together in just the dumbest, most fun action-packed ride of vengeance against oppressive evil imaginable. Absolute zero braincells should be involved here.

[365days365movies]

March 13, 2021: Kwaidan: The Woman of the Snow (1963)

Y’ever see Interviews with Monster Girls?

Absolutely one of my favorite slice-of-life anime from the past few years, and I genuinely want to rewatch it! Might do so after this, honestly. The conceit of the series is that the main character, a biology teacher named Takahashi, is trying to better understand and help with the issues of the “demi-humans” that attend the school.  There’s the vampire girl, Hikari; the dullahan (best character), Kyoko; the math teacher succubus Sakie; and Yuki Kusakabe.

Yuki, as implied by her name is a yuki-onna, also known as a snow-woman. Now in the show, she’s a shy girl who’s always cold, and she’s great. But in mythology, the yuki-onna is...different. A tall woman with long black hair and blue lips, the serene snow woman appears to travelers in blizzards, and freezes them with her icy breath.

While the yuki-onna does have a soft side, she’s best known for her vengeful nature. The only stories that I’ve heard of come from the anime, honestly. There’s one with two woodcutters, an old one and a young one. Old guy gets frozen, young guy doesn’t. Don’t quite remember the reason for that. In another story, the yuki-onna is brought in by a kind young man, and she melts in the warmth. I know there are others, but those are the ones I remember.

Oh, and there’s a Pokémon based on this one, too. Pokédex entry says this about it:

Froslass, the Snow Land Pokémon. An Ice/Ghost type. Legends in snowy regions say that a woman who was lost on an icy mountain was reborn as Froslass.

Seeeee? OK, enough background, let’s get to the movie! Film ain’t gonna watch itself, y’know. The second of four tales presented in the film Kwaidan, listed here:

The Black Hair (黒髪, Kurokami)

The Woman of the Snow (雪女, Yukionna)

Hoichi the Earless (耳無し芳一の話, Miminashi Hōichi no Hanashi)

In A Cup of Tea (茶碗の中, Chawan no Naka)

Here we go again! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (2/4): The Woman of the Snow

We start, well...in the snow.

An eye glares at us through it, eerily, and we’re told of two woodcutters, Mosaku and Minokichi (Tatsuya Nakadai), an old and young man respectively. They travel from their village to the cold mountainside, and are one day beset upon by a fierce blizzard. As they trudge through it, eyes are watching them in the background. It’s extremely eerie, to be honest.

The old man is lost in the blizzard, but the young an struggles through it. As he does, he looks up and sees eyes in the sky, as if made of the moon itself. He finds himself trapped on one side of the river, and also managed to find the older man once again through it all. They make it to the hut of a boatsman, who’s already left down the river before the blizzard. But the wind is strong, and the door swings open as the wind wails, as if a voice were crying on it.

The younger woodcutter settles in for the night, and then OH NO

FUCK ME DUDE THAT’S GODDAMN TERRIFYING

The older woodcutter’s dead as SHIT, frozen by the breath of the Yuki-onna (Keiko Kishi). But she seems to like the younger man, smiling in a way that has scared him and me off of water for life. Like, it’s intense enough that even liquid water would remind me of this terrifying spirit. Same with the dude. But here’s the thing: I can tell you guys about this. He can’t.

See, she spares the younger woodcutter’s life on one condition: he can NEVER tell ANYONE about it. If he tells anyone, INCLUDING his mother (she specifies that), she WILL come and kill him. And odds are gonna be that that’s exactly what he’s gonna do, the great numpty.

She leaves, and the blizzard eventually subsides. The man is found and nursed back to health by his mother. A year passes, and Minokichi doesn’t say SHIT about what happened. One day, he’s cutting wood in the forest, against a sunset that is definitely a set-backdrop, but still looks gorgeous. He walks past a beautiful woman, and asks what she’s doing out there. The woman is on her way to the city of Edo, and is hoping to secure a job there.

However, the two get to know each other on the walk, and start to talk. He introduces her to his mother, and we learn that her name is Yuki, and I REMEMBER THE REST OF THIS STORY NOW. It’s from Tales from the Darkside: The Movie!

YEAH. I’ve seen Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, and I haven’t seen The Godfather, I KNOW. Anyway, the film adapted this story into a short called Lover’s Vow, and replaced the yuki-onna with a...gargoyle monster, I think? Its never made completely clear. Anyway, the same thing happens, where he witnesses the creature kill somebody, and it spares his life if he doesn’t tell anyone of the encounter. He agrees, then later on meets a woman with whom he falls madly in love, and THEN...well, hold on a hot sec, here. That’ll spoil the movie.

Anyway, just like the story, this woman is the yuki-onna. I mean, c’mon, her name is Yuki, for Chrissakes. The two fall in love, and eventually have sex in a field. We had friends over, and I was gonna watch this movie at the time, and it’s a good thing I didn’t because that’d be awkward!

They marry, have three kids, and spend about ten years together. However, soon after this, Minokichi begins to realize who exactly Yuki is. The light on Yuki’s face reminds him of the night that the yuki-onna came. Without thinking about it, he tells her about that night, which he’s never told anybody about.

Here’s the thing, even during the day, we’ve seen eyes in the sky. Because she’s always watching him. and watching his actions. And as he tells the story of the yuki-onna’s visit...well...

Yeah, it’s her. After that dumbass is done with his story, she revealed herself, and spurns him for breaking his promise not to tell anyone, in exchange for his life. And he just broke that goddamn promise. And how she’s gotta kill him, and take the kids away from him as they transform into snow children, but like in Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, right?

Well...no, actually. Because, to my surprise, their kids together is what stops her. Because he broke his promise, she can no longer be a part of their lives. But she loves the children, and also loves him. She tells him that he better raise them right, and with care. If he ever mistreats then, she’ll kill him. And then...

She’s gone. Minokichi leaves the sandals that he was going to give Yuki outside, heartbroken at the loss of his wife, and at his own idiocy. She accepts his gift.

And that’s The Woman of the Snow! VERY cool. Pun...lightly intended. See you for Number 3: Hoichi the Earless! That title worries me! See you there!

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3, episodes 7-13 thoughts! cannot believe im finishing this series so fast. ...cannot believe it ended like that...uh. one of the weirdest finales to a show I think I've seen, it really stood out against the rest of the series, and not in a good way, in my opinion. I paused to yell in caps lock...several times, I think, out of anger... BUT. ANYWAY, HERE WE GO.

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-the fentons putting the kids to Work in the lab, with NO SAFETY GEAR. AT ALL. THEY JUST GOT BACK FROM SCHOOL AND ARE TIRED!!! and when jack asked how danny his day was and danny tried to say it was bad jack cut him off :( for the 400th time, i am stealing these kids.

-maddie and jack IMMEDIATELY SELLING THEIR LAB AND WORK FOR A LOT OF MONEY. and danny cant get into the portal anymore, oh no!!! he could always just steal vlads I Guess.

-THEY ARE VLADS NEW NEIGHBOR. OH MY GOD. this is a sitcom format. a butler came with the new mansion. i would absolutely try a kiwi fudge milkshake, why is the butler disgusted.

-the..guys in white bought the lab to shoot a missile. into the ghost zone thru the portal. bro i hate these guys

-jazz straight up setting her new bedroom up in the library. i am very very jealous

-"RATED E, FOR ENTRAILS"

-I like how the 14 year olds very quickly realize if the giw destroy the ghost zone itll destroy OUR ZONE because its just. like. the other side of the quarter so to speak. and the giw, a fully funded government agency, didnt consider that...(or worse, are willing to risk that anyway...)

-a...graphic novel version of the constitution? what in the world have you been READING SAM

-'cool, I always wanted to be called a meddling kid!' scooby doo reference...

-can they keep the butler. I love him.

-ecto latte....I also want to try that. is ectoplasm edible...

-YESS I KNEW DANNY WOULD USE VLAD'S PORTAL. vindicated.

-DANNY WHY DIDNT YOU JUST ASK JOHNNY NICELY. STEALING HIS BIKE IS SO SO RUDE.

-youngblood is also into astronaut stuff, thats really cute. and him being like 'phantom, dude!! :D' ALL EXCITED. THATS ADORABLE.

-the slapstick comedy of the giw slipping and falling and running into shit in the lab. is funny, but also, because this lab has NOOO safety codes in practice. god its a wonder dannys the only one to have died here...

-JOHNNY, SKULKER AND YOUNGBLOOD HELPING DANNY!!! I keep saying it but the other ghosts helping him. is my fav thing in the world. and, it's a really good thing the missile in the real world was harmless...otherwise the fentons wouldn't have had a home/lab to come back to...

-WULF WANTED POSTER!!! we havent seen wulfy in so long :( very funny the box ghost is offended by how much these ghosts are wanted for. first off, what do ghosts even DO WITH MONEY. does the ghost zone have its own currency??? what are ghosts BUYING

-the box ghost is So Funny, im so glad hes still got his bubble wrap. u are VERY wanted in THIS house box ghost. you are SO scary king. dont give up on ur dreams

-this needs to be a meme format. I made a transparent version, very very messily, for future use.

-this is a Fellow and a Friend

-box ghost accidentally bringing lunch for everyone, and giving people at the mall free shoes. SHOES ARE SO EXPENSIVE, ID BE SO GRATEFUL. helpful king. i feel SO bad for him lmao, he's putting in SO much effort. he wants the evil aesthetic So bad but hes Just Too Silly. I understand your plight, box ghost....

-oh my god. pandoras BOX. 'THOSE OF US IN THE BOX TRADE' HOW MANY ARE IN THIS BOX TRADE. I WANT IN. pandora is a multi-armed ghost goddess and i love her.

-SKULKER WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM THE EVIL UNICORN?? YOURE A HUNTER!! JUST SHOOT IT!!!!!!! JUST HUNT IT!!!

-box ghost...where did you get the cowboy hat. I respect it, i just want to know

-JAZZ COMING IN WITH THE BAZOOKA TO FIGHT THE 10 HEADED DRAGON!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! and the rest of the fentons I Guess

-ignoring the sam/danny moments. I simple do not see them.

-...why doesnt danny just fly over the maze. or do the whole 'real world people act as ghosts in the ghost zone' and turn back!!! I know its just to show off the ghost greek monster designs. but STILL.

-danny being like. um. hi pandora. i found your box. >< polite...PANDORA IS SO GIANT. GIANT GHOST WOMAN. SHES GOING TO BEAT BOX GHOSTS ASS. another ghost thats nice to danny to add to the list :) and HER FORCING BOX GHOST TO APOLOGIZE. and having sandwiches with danny after making box ghost clean up. I LOVE HER.

-DANNYS 'BEWARE' AT THE END JAKHDJFKN

-okay, when dash pulled out danny's seat and was calling him buddy, for half a second I was like 'this is a prank, hes gonna pull it back' BUT THEN FRIGHT KNIGHT MY BELOVED IS BACK. AND EVERYONE STARTS CHANTING FOR DANNY TO BEAT HIS ASS WITH GHOST POWERS AND DANNY DOES WAY TOO EASILY, and im like, yup, this is a dream LMAO

-danny is getting an A+ in science :) my smart son

-DANNY WAKING UP FROM THE DREAM RIGHT BEFORE KISSING SAM AND BEING LIKE 'that was a dream...no, a NIGHTMARE!' same. not to be a hater but, shouldve been val. maybe I am a hater

-...danny running and checking the 'tapes'...why is his whole house constantly being recorded. hes been in ghost form/fights plenty of times in his house. does he have to run and wipe the tapes after?? every single time?? god

-letting this image speak for itself

-this is SO cursed

-NOCTURN'S DESIGN FUCKS SO HARD. the Venice mask vibes. also his space pattern not moving while the rest of his animation does is big chowder vibes. but this guy is basically the sandman but Evil, huh. I love dream plots. also, nocturn's design feels very similar to clockwork, like, red eyes and a scar over the same eye, but also just the purple, and the Cosmic Vibes. I want to see them fight. anyway nocturn's va was also avatar roku AND alfred in several batman cartoons.

-the 'sleepwalkers' designs were super cute in shape (kinda remind me of oogie boogie! pillow-cased shaped, which is appropriate for the 'king of dreams's minions) until I looked closer at their eyes. why do they look sewn shut!! (they open their eyes a few times, so they aren't, but they look like it...)

-I like how this show has been pretty consistent (with a few exceptions) about a Ghost Being Huge (or getting larger) = Very Powerful

-2 months of summer camping??? wtf, do camping things usually take that long?? I've never been to a camping...thing like that. but isnt that basically their entire summer??

-'the entirety of nature is your bathroom!' and thats why I do no camping despite loving nature LMAO.

-sam, at least TRY TO BE NICE TO THE OTHER GIRLS YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHARING A CABIN WITH. also, the amount of times people in this show have their SHOES ON THE BED!!! IM DISGUSTED

-swamp creature Is A Ghost. Big Foot is a Ghost. starting to think in this universe, every single cryptid or legend is a Ghost Actually

-paulina crying not only because star is missing, but because SHE FORGOT HER SUNBLOCK AND SHE BURNS SO EASILY!!!! okay girlfriends

-ghost cops are the real monsters at the camp. i.......I mean. fair. no one missed you walker

-WULF!!!!!!!!!!! WULF IS BACK!!!!!!!! MY FRIEND WULF :D MI AMAS VIN!!!!! kaj danny lernis Esperanto :)

-'relax kid, we arent here to do any harm' *immediately shoots danny* yeah. ghost cops. and also danny bringing walker 'wulf' and walker IMMEDIATELY SUCKING DANNY IN A THERMOS. FUCK OFF

-haha walker Bald. and haha walker Frozen Now

-the fenton thermos can...reverse its polarity to close portals? okay

-LIBERA MIA AMIKO. :")

-ohhh they end the ep with them star gazing, thats pretty cute...

-dani is back! ...with a new voice actress? wiki says AnnaSophia was in 3 diff movies in 2007 when this aired, so she was probably too busy... (including, bridge to terabithia aka the movie that ripped my heart out that I mentioned in the first ep Dani was in...kinda wanna rewatch it now)

-shes still scared of vlad, who's still being creepy and spying on her. 'shes hardly going to come home to daddy!' I WONDER WHY. also does vlad's cat look more evil than last time? love the concept of him going shopping for cats and being like 'give me your most EVILEST looking cat, please, so I can pet it in my spinny chair dramatically!' ...oh god white cat hair on his black suit. I have a black cat and her hair is still way too noticeable..

-vlad has a big 'valerie' button in his office. can he be pressing that button every episode, thanks

-'theres a GIRL called dani phantom?' yeah valerie. no relation, obviously, even with her looking EXACTLY like danny. so sad valerie just wants to help her dad and her get out of the place theyre in now and vlad using her. ill MAUL HIM

-dani having to STEAL FOOD. :( and valerie immediately being like oh poor kid :(( and trying to help her!!! and then dani immediately helping valerie!! this episode is starting SO well

-...and then valerie catching her. DAMN IT. and being surprised dani knew danny?? HELLO VALERIE I KNOW YOURE SMARTER THAN THIS. I AM SO SORRY THEY WROTE YOU THIS WAY. I STILL LOVE AND BELIEVE IN U !!!

-valerie lying her ASS off for a chance at gettin danny. ok <3 also 'they couldnt catch a ghost if it was living under their own roof' JSDHKJHNK

-danny. why dont you just tell valerie!! this would be so much easier if he was direct. there is NO way valerie would hurt danny (fenton) she'd be HORRIFIED. esp since she got on board helping dani!!

*is held* :)

-look at valerie and danny. flying together. about to go beat vlads ass together <333

-DANI SCREAMING AS VLAD IS MELTING HER. WHAT THE FUCCCK

-...fucking vlad convincing valerie hes a good dude with his stupid duplication. FUCK. DANNY JUST TELL H E R

-jesus christ how many times has danny had to watch loved ones die. even if she didnt stay perma-dead. glad they fixed her...

-valerie and dani pranking danny when he came out, oh :( cute...them havin fun and laughing together...babies

-BUT THEYRE JUST LETTING DANI LEAVE, AGAIN??? SHE WAS PREVIOUSLY STEALING FOOD. CHRIST GIVE HER A PLACE TO LIVE. OR A FAMILY. actually, I think it'd be really cute if, since danny isnt ready to out himself, dani went and lived with valerie?? dunno if her dad would have the money but,, it'd be a cute concept. big sis valerie...

-'tomorrow, it's game on!' 'and ill be ready to play!' THE FLIRTING....DANNY/VALERIE REAL

-oh my god,, valerie found out about vlad in the end. But he doesn’t know she knows!!! the DRAMA!!! HOLY SHIT THAT ENDING.

-this episode was. SO Much and probably one of my favorites out of s3. (I mean, there has been a gross lack of valerie this whole season, so thats not a hard choice to make...)

-FINALE EPISODE TIME.

-the title screen looks different! so no title card...

-vlad has his own fucked up satellite that looks like him?? okay. why does the animation look so different?? are they mixing cg in?? for what. anyway, vlad and the gang in SPACE. danny is 100% living his astronaut dreams rn

-'defeating frostbite' YOU BETTER NOT HAVE. YOU STOLE HIS COOL MAP. FUCK YOU VLAD

-wait oh my god. vlad is the final series boss, isn't he. I half expected a fake out, for another boss to show up midway, and for him to finally have to have a real truce with danny for this ep. ITS THE FINALE. VLAD FEELS SO UNDERWHELMING.

-And it's like-- his character isn't bad, i just feel like..he has more potential! they WANT him to seem like some smart super evil genius, but the way he's written makes that SO hard to believe...but the solid backstory and design is THERE and its FRUSTRATING.

-...DANNY CALLING VLAD OUT SAYING HE NEEDS THERAPY LMAOO THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING.

-my grandpa technus is in the finale too :) 'well look on the bright side, at least im not downloading them illegally!' he says while stealing dvds. feels like hes calling me out. im watching this series on a bootleg website lmao. anyway, him turning the tech into a transformer. love that

-mASters BLASters sTOp diSAsterS shut the fuck up. you will never be valerie or danny. bite chomp kill. violence

-like this if u crie everytiem

-my god the 3d/cgi mixed in looks SO BAD IT DIDNT AGE WELL AT ALL

-the white stripe in dannys hair kinda rules tho. did he just KILL HIS GHOST HALF??? 'revert his human half back to normal' UM. you ever unkill yourself. why are his friends/jazz so mad about it, he'll be in a lot less danger!! christ. they can still hunt ghosts!! as humans!! if they want to!! hes 14 if he wanted to be normal. let him. vlads stupid little team has things COVERED apparently. why are they acting like this. jazz would never act like this. is this fake whats going ON

-oh my god jack was in a college band. vlad was also in the band. what did instruments they play. i didnt need that headline to tell me they sucked, but i want to KNOW MORE REGARDLESS

-valerie was here for 0.3 seconds.

-sam calling danny selfish. the audacity. no one is stopping YOU from hunting ghosts, girl. valerie does it!!

-I'm halfway through the episode and incredibly underwhelmed so far.

-why would they send jack and 3 teens to space to destroy the asteroid. why not professional astronauts. not even the 3 teens that have already been to space this episode...

-jack getting beat up by teenagers. ON TV. IN SPACE. I GUESS. I GUESS EVERYONE AGREED TO SEND JACK BECAUSE..VLAD SAID SO? we know it was to embarrass jack, but why would everyone agree. why didnt any other space program Do More or whatever, they sent like, 3 rockets/missiles tops?? no way

-danny attempting to punch vlad in the face. i WISH HE WOULDVE LANDED THAT HIT.

-vlad outed himself on live tv, on purpose? and BLASTED AT THE TEENAGERS HE HIRED. LMAO. HES HOLDING THE WORLD HOSTAGE, MAKING THEM PAY HIM BILLIONS TO STOP THE STUPID ASTROID. THATS YOUR GRAND PLAN??? REALLY. REALLY. im like. lmfao

-jack just now, on the last episode GETTING TOLD HE MADE VLAD A GHOST. THIS SHOULDVE HAPPENED WAY SOONER. jack's reaction was one of the only times in this entire show hes seemed human. 'an old friend? no. you? yes.' GET HIS ASSSS ACTUALLY. HE STRAIGHT UP LEFT VLAD IN SPACE. GOD DAMN. that is a Murder! I mean, I guess vlad could fly back to earth, but...I mean, he'll have to, right? no food in space. (that we KNOW of...)

-'thE WHolE EArtH, INTangiBLe?!' oh my god.

-...the white strand of hair somehow still had ghost dna, I guess, and getting blasted turned him back into phantom. I GUESS. I GUESS.

-the fentons being the first to clap for danny despite not knowing hes phantom...that was sweet. and very sudden character development, not at all gradual over the course of time or episodes like it probably should have been...

-sam and danny kissing. IT SHOULDVE BEEN VALERIE, BUT OKAY, I GUESS. also, its a little underwhelming, considering theyve kissed already...

-ALL of the ghosts being ready to beat danny's ass? really. no they wouldn't, they've worked together before, and some of those ghosts are friendly!! cringe. why is the last ep written like this. I mean they came thru at the last minute but. was really cringing for a minute there, why did they write it like that

-valerie is there for another 0.3 seconds! ....she should've been more involved. dani is also there! for also like 0.3 seconds. almost fast enough to miss. (btw, I think shes still homeless at this point, are, we going to...do ANYTHING ABOUT THAT IN THE LAST 5 MINS OF THE SHOW)

-the cgi smoke or whatever it is. this whole post is me saying the cgi is bad, but IT IS.

-'danny or should we say. DAAANNNNY.' this is like the 3rd or 4th time hes been outed damn, but to the whole world, again. and valerie saw, and is just. an extra in the bg clapping. bro im so mad.

-TUCKER IS THE NEW MAYOR? WHAT THE FUCK?? HES 14.

-i think. this is still linked to the dream ep a few times ago. hes still dreaming. this is a plot a 14 year old would write. this feels like a bad fanfic. so much got rushed, and not tied up. vlad wasnt really even the villain this episode, a fucking. non-being asteroid was.

-they kiss again. ok. sure. whatever at this point.

-VLAD IS NOW A FREE-ROAMING SPACE NOMAD. I GUESS. THATS. SURE. WHATEVER. THE END, I GUESS. cannot believe I'm saying this, but: they did vlad dirty.

-IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE HIM A VILLAIN, MAKE HIM A VILLAIN!!! DON'T MAKE IT A METEOR!!! STOP BEING WISHY WASHY WHO WANTS TO SEE DANNY VS ASTEROID!!! I didnt even WANT vlad to be the final villain because his character is SO back and forth (esp this season.) but he has done some FUCKED UP SHIT AND I WANTED THE WRITERS TO DOUBLE DOWN, PERSONALLY, IF THEY HAD TO MAKE HIM THE FINAL BOSS. the cabin ep where he basically held danny and maddie hostage? FUCKED. THE DANI THING? FUCKED. FUCKING COMMIT AND MAKE HIM ACTUALLY SCARY OR HAVE HIM FUCK OFF AND AGREE TO A TRUCE!! WHAT IS THIS DYING IN SPACE NONSENSE. (and, he will (fully) die out there, right? still half human, still needs food and water. I imagine he'll like, slowly half-die but this time his human side is dying. will he come back 100% ghost? we dONT KNOW. WE DONT GET TO SEE, ITS PLAYED LIKE SOME FUNNY THING AT THE END, THEN THATS IT!!! WHAT!!!)

-I don't know how to articulate how FRUSTRATING THAT IS. having him basically out himself and ''hold the world hostage'' does not track at all in my brain. like. he's always been scary because he is HUMAN, TOO. like, if he was 100% ghost, he'd be LESS scary, but vlad MASTERS has more power and influence than vlad PLASMIUS because of his position as mayor, his money, too, and his (supposed, s3 made me doubt it) intelligence/manipulation skills, and his being in good graces with jack made it HARD FOR DANNY. him outing himself for,, money and to 'control the world' i guess?? MONEY WAS NEVER HIS LIKE, MAIN GOAL. yeah obv he likes money and is materialistic and values his Rich Life, but hes got billions, the end goal? 1. getting maddie (and or danny as his son, but to me he always treated that as secondary) 2. ruining jack. this feels like they wanted to say 'oh he just wants POWER' which is. HMM?? OKAY?? obv he /does/ want power (usually over certain ppl, tho), but seeing him try to get it like this FELT WEIRD SOMEHOW. weird like the ep where he tried and failed to take over various historical civilizations, because like,, how is that realistically going to do anything for him?? just, being in that time forever and never seeing maddie aka Goal #1 again?? HELLO??? this was like that, but worse

-this was such a weird ending to an entire show. why did season 3 only have 13 episodes?? why did it feel so weirdly paced?? WHY WAS THE ENDING LIKE THAT. I think. I am going to pretend I did not see that. fucked up, dudes. I'm like...hm. I shouldn't have watched that because now I'm mad. valerie sweetie im SO sorry you shouldve been more present. it felt like..if they knew this season was going to be short, and the last season, they should've spent more time wrapping up EVERYONE'S plot lines for the entire season. imagine how cool it wouldve been if every single ep of season 3 was working towards something, a big, nice wrap up at the end, with nothing feeling TOO rushed because they'd been heading towards the End for the whole season....

I will probably end up writing a follow up full series thoughts post. In a couple of days so I can sit with my thoughts. BUT. overall, I really liked the show! (ignoring the finale and some of the moments that aged pretty poorly...) it was charming and a fun concept and very fun to watch in general :) and I am pretending the finale didnt happen <3 and I’m gonna dive RIGHT into the dp tags and mix fanart and posts in my queue, very excited to run and look at that 🏃🏻 (and, of course, make more fanart myself hehe >:3)

[derivativealigner]

I rewatched the second season of South Park and took so many notes that I had to split them into two parts. Like seriously, I took so. many. notes. And pictures this time. I started rewatching just in case I’d find some cool little facts to sprinkle into my fanfic but I went way too far and now there’s a million facts under this cut (including gay stan, a domestic violence psa, and craig fucking dying)

Stan doesn’t like hospitals, he finds them gross and he gets sick 🤮. Also the hospital in South Park is called Hell’s Pass hospital. Early seasons have the name as Hells Pass but it gets fixed later

Cartman has to sing all of Come Sailing Away by Styx if he hears a part of it. After he says this, Kyle sings the first part and Cartman has to sing the rest. Kyle does it again later, which is kinda mean

Cartman’s mom tries to abort Cartman, who is an eight-year-old child and thus cannot be legally aborted. Later, after she slept with Bill Clinton to change the law and make 40th trimester abortions legal, it turns out she meant adoption

Kenny sacrifices himself to turn on the generator to the hospital and save Dr. Mephesto’s life along with others. He says “I’ll fucking do it” then does it and dies, absolute legend

Cartman gets way too into his deputy role. He goes undercover, pretends to be a prostitute, says “Respect my authoritah!” a lot and beats people up with his police stick

Kenny’s brother first appears when Cartman responds to a call about a disturbance at Kenny’s house. Apparently there are like 10 adult family members in the house at that time. Kenny’s dad has a black eye because Kenny’s mom punched him. She says he can’t hold a job

Token sits in the classroom in season 2

Cartman starts hating hippies in this season, like a lot

Chef tells the boys that the right time to do drugs is in college

Ike’s name is Ike Moisha Broflovski and he was born in 1996, making him 2 years old in 1998 when this season aired

This is probably obvious but yeah Kyle and Ike are circumcised

Kyle says family isn’t just blood, it’s who you care about, and he says “That’s why you guys are more than just friends, you’re my family. Except for Cartman.”

Craig’s finally sitting in the classroom in S02E04

None of the boys like dodgeball

Clyde gets a dodgeball to the face and he cries :( and he’s the only one who cries by the way

Pip throws a dodgeball in Kyle’s face and breaks Kyle’s nose

When Kyle’s mom tells the boys about conjoined twin myslexia (which isn’t a real term) and says anyone might’ve absorbed their dead twin in the womb, Stan and Cartman run away screaming but Kenny and Kyle stay to listen. Kenny even leans in to look at the book “Freaks A-Z!” that Mrs. Broflovski is reading from, and when she leaves, Kyle grimaces and Kenny laughs

Stan’s mom (Sharon) calls Kyle’s mom (Sheila) when Stan is all freaked out and trying to put an icepick through his brain, and Sharon tells Sheila to get run over by a truck. Sharon is pretty mean in these early episodes

Mr. Broflovski doesn’t really listen to what Mrs. Broflovski is saying, bad husband >:(

South Park’s team is always called South Park Cows no matter the sport

The school nurse, Nurse Gollum, went to Colorado State University

I just realized Butters exists. I think he appeared before S02E05 but I didn’t notice but yeah he’s there with the dodgeball team, injured

Here’s a picture to make up for my disgusting anti-Butters bias

Kenny’s dodgeball uniform number is 69 obviously. Kyle is 7, Stan is 4, Cartman is 325

Sheila smacks Gerald in the face so hard he falls off his chair, lots of violence perpetrated by women in this show. Remember, don’t do domestic violence no matter your gender, it’s not cool

I realized after this whole Butters thing that I should’ve made more notes about Pip, so I’ll make a note about his anger issues now. When people call him French, he gets angry and throws dodgeballs at them

The boys launch a jelly roll at Ms. Crabtree and make her crash the bus. They do it just for fun

The kids somehow go to China in the school bus

Cartman references Moby Dick, but he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about

Kevin Stoley gets named in S02E05 and has his first speaking role when he says he has Chinese parents and after Cartman hears it he immediately says something racist. smh cartman, what a problematic fave

Cartman says “I love you guys 😊” but Stan and Kyle just stare at him and he goes 😐 “Eh, screw you guys 😠”

If Jimbo and Ned really fought in Vietnam, they youngest they could’ve been in 1998 is early forties, which means in the latest seasons they would be early sixties. Btw they met in Vietman

Jesus and Pals is a recurring TV show in seasons 1 and 2. Jesus just kind of lives in South Park

I just remembered that Terrance and Phillip are really old in canon, it’s so weird, like how can South Park canon still be changing, it’s been 20 years

Also the early seasons are casually racist who knew

Kenny flashes his ass on a tape the boys send to Jimbo and Ned’s TV show, which airs and at least 12 people see Kenny’s bare naked ass

Cartman really doesn’t like hippies in these early seasons. He throws a chair at Ned and yells, “Take that, hippie!” (Ned is in a catatonic state and did nothing to provoke this)

Jimbo and Ned live together I guess. Jimbo’s gonna take Ned home and show him some hardcore porn to snap him out of his catatonic state, good husband unlike Gerald Broflovski

Saddam Hussein is in hell and has a Canadian accent and is Satan’s lover in S02E06, I guess he died in Canada in the first episode this season but I wasn’t paying much attention since that’s the Terrance and Phillip episode that pissed a bunch of people off in 1998 because the audience wanted to know who Cartman’s dad is instead. It was kind of a boring episode so I understand why everyone was pissed, but it is funny that Matt and Trey did that so I’m not mad about it

Aww look at them!!! We’ve got background Style, the vaguest inkling of Crenny, and Cartman/Cake

I’d take more screenshots but it’s a pain since I’m watching legally and stupid legal websites block screenshots so I have to find youtube videos instead ughhhh piracy is the answer kids

Apparently there’s a huge waterfall and canyon somewhere close to South Park, maybe? At least in Stan’s dream

Mary Kay Bergman was an incredible voice actor. How the hell did she voice all the moms, Wendy, Shelly, principle Victoria, the mayor, Nurse Gollum, and fucking Ms. Crabtree??? Holy shit what a queen

Kenny has some feelings about death. He reimagines the episode where death boops him to death and in his version, he beats death the fuck up, then has ice cream and is happy 😊 But again, this is in Stan’s dream

S02E07 kind of establishes that nobody remembers Kenny dying because when Cartman tells a story where Kenny dies, Kyle questions how Kenny could’ve died then when he also died just a few hours ago when a giant monster took him

rip craig, he falls out the bus and into a canyon

But it’s okay because it was all Stan’s dream so everything in the episode is questionable. Everything after this is no longer a dream

Pip’s parents are dead and he has to go to summer school while everyone else is having a nice summer break

Officer Barbrady and the mayor are having sexual relations, I’m sure this is the most interesting note I’ve made so far. Idk I’m just writing everything down, this is how I enjoy things, I have no off switch

Ew summer bus stop, cursed

Kyle casually sings little tunes every once in a while, how cute

This is pretty obvious but Kenny likes dirty jokes, he laughs when Cartman innocently says he loves Chef’s salty chocolate balls (which are chocolate candy). Nobody else laughs

Cartman says “Screw you guys, I’m going home” or variations of it a lot in this season

So Stan throws up when he likes someone, right? Well, he’s watching an indie movie about two gay cowboys who start making out and he throws up, which is either a terrible homophobic joke or confirmation that Stan’s a little gay. I know which one I prefer

Kyle says Mr. Hankey is his best friend after Stan. Like I know it’s definitely canon that Stan and Kyle are best friends but it’s still nice to see confirmation, it’s very precious. Also Kyle is best friends with literal shit, so cute 😊

Kenny deaths:

S02E02 Kenny sacrifices himself by connecting a generator wire, which electrocutes him but brings power back to a hospital

S02E03 A tree falls on Kenny and crushes him

S02E04 Kenny falls in a grave and the gravestone falls on him

S02E05 The Chinese dodgeball team throws a ball at Kenny and he gets splattered against a wall

S02E06 Two guys pull on Kenny and tear him in half, as in one has the head and one has the legs

S02E07 A big scary monster plucks Kenny out of the school bus and carries him away. Also in Cartman’s fake memory of Fonzi jumping over cars, the motorcycle hits Kenny and crushes him against a brick wall. Kenny gets smashed against walls a lot, doesn’t he?

S02E08 Flashback: Baby Kenny has a firecracker and it explodes, sprinkling little baby Kenny parts everywhere. Later in the episode, current day Kenny dies when a giant firework snake bumps him off a stage and under a fence, which then crushes him.

S02E09 Kenny is playing with a yoyo outside a movie theatre when a bunch of people come outside and trample him to death. They say “Oh my God, I found a penny!” and “You bastard!”

I’ll post part 2 of season 2 in a couple days. I’m having way more fun writing these stupid notes than I thought I would (also gnomes is coming up soon and i am fucking ready for tweek)

[popculturebuffet]

Top 10 Sealab 2021 Episodes (Comission)

Happy 2021 Everyone! After an utterly AWFUL fucking year, it’s nice to be in a brand new year with brand new possiblities, new projects you’ll see soon, finsihing the old.. and all that good stuff. And good friend of the blog and only patron and contributer kev had a great suggestion to comission to kick off the year. Since it’s 2021 it’s only fair ot honor one of the very first adult swim shows, one taking place in the same year and still one of it’s funniest and fucking weirdest, and as we’ve seen that threshold is vast: Sealab 2021 Sealab was created by the wonder twins of Adam Reed and Matt Thomspon, and if those names sound familiar.. that’s because their the guys who created Frisky Dingo, a cult classic i’ll defintely have to write about someday soon, and more famously and in Matt’s case still to this day, Archer. Yup, after adult swim jerking them around lead to the closing of their initial studio, the two moved to FX and here they are. So yeah this is where the roots of a lot of archers workplace shenanigans and petty dickery come from.  But even ignoring what it’d lead to, Sealab on it’s own is pretty damn good and holds up pretty well. Some jokes.. have not aged well, especially the treatment of Debbie as the villiage bicycle, but on the whole most of the humor is just really funny, really weird and really insane and I still love it after this revisit even if some episodes didn’t hold up so good, most of them held up good or even better than I remembered.  The show was THE first abriged series, taking bits of old forgotten and seemingl really damn boring hannah barbara show sealab 2021, and using the footage to tell the tale of a bunch of assholes, weirdos and what have you running an underwater research station.. and being so bad at it or getting into such other insane bollocks it often blew up. Continuity was loose, jokes were the priority, and dialouge was key since the animation was not great in any way shape or form, but the cheapness was enough of a charm and improved enough with time that it didn’t really matter. The show was good and set the bar for adult swim shows for better or worse alongside other greats like Home Movies, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and others. It also had a unique cast of mostly small time actors, and bafflingly one respected news pundit as local asshole idiot head Stormy, and broadway legend Henry Goz as series MVP Captain Murphy. It was good, it was part of my childhood and teen years, and I love it so. I bought the dvds, quoted it decently and will again now Kev’s brought my fire for the series back.  So naturally for a series like this since regular reviews just don’t.. work on something this insane sometimes, i’m instead counting down my top. 10 . episodes. Yes top 10 lists are comissionable, 5 bucks a pop. As long as I know the series well enough i’d be glad to and here I ws more than honored to. I also uped my game this time and rewatched every cantidate and thus I feel this may be one of my best lists yet. So without further adeu... grab your grizzlbees oninon burst , your bebop cola and your pitcher of whale cancer. this is the top 10 episodes of sealab 2021!

10. Tinfins  This one’s a classsic just for it’s uniquness, taking the piss out of glitzy and vapid hollywood insider shows and their annoying hosts, while also being delightfully weird, from mocking the show’s own animation by having detailed cgi used to map the limited animation, to Erik Estrada’s interview where his fictional self is clearly having none of toni and is also clearly getting wasted, to the utter bizzarity of Kid N Play being the films directors.. it’s just a good time. 

But what REALLY makes the episode are two things: The first is a series of increasingly bizzare commericals for Grizzlebees, a fictional restraunt that would become a staple of the show: From a simple commerical showing off their onion bursts, to their kids meals with tonic water, to Henry Goz’s utterly bizzare farm based commerical for it, to finally a commerical about depression being okay because grizzlebee delivers that’s pitch black as it is utterly hilarious, it’s just one hit after the other.  The crown jewel of the episode of course is the trailer ofr tinfins itself, which is insane and includes great bit after great bit, the best being the titular mecha shark cutting the power “How the hell can it cut the power? It’s a shark. “ Holy Crap indeed. 

9. In the Closet A bottle episode, which Sealab really excelled at and not the last on this list by a mile, as the show’s key was it’s dialouge the episode had a simple premise it quickly managed to have make some pretty insane turns. Marco, played by the glorious Eric Estrada and Muprhy, played by the late and very game Harry Goz, have been trapped in the suply closet for a few days, with Muprhy, being muprhy, having already married a bucket who has a history as a “Hookermop” named wendy. Soon other sealabians get caught inside too, and it results in plenty of hilarious gags, From muprhy sucker punching the hell out of everyone, to Sparks panicking under claustrophiba, to the repair guy getting sucker punched and no one caring much about his well being. This one lives off of Muprhy as while the others are good, Goz as he usually did during his time on this earh and on this series before his untimely passing, steals the whole damn show, and the ending, where it turns out Muprhy adopted and starved a bunch of fighting dogs, is a nice twist on everything. And the punchilne to it is utterly fantastic “It could be worse” “How in the hell could it possibly worse?!” “We could be out there.. with Stormy”. 

8. The Legend of Baggy Pants Speaking of Bottle Episodes and Captain Murphy being awesome.... this one narrowly beat out the episode it’s a spirtual sequel too, the classsic all that jazz, but this one is easily better. Like that one it’s a bottle episode that’s almost entirely just Captain Muprhy on some sort of shenanigan, with only abit of other cast, in this case Hesh, Eggers, and an unfortunate phone operator. In this case the premise is simple, kind of nuts, and utterly hilarious and utterly captian murphy: Captain Muprhy is having a round of Golf in Sealab, which is weird but fits the character but what ratchets it up to funny is apparently this underwater research station, for no reason, has a pro shop. So after loosing his last ball in a reactor, and sending poor hesh in to get it leading to the advent of the glorious Monster Hesh, Muprhy spends the entire episode tooling around in his “Muprh Mobile” trying to find the pro shop. As a result it’s basically 11 glorious minutes of Harry Goz going absolutely mental as muprhy, and it is as great as that sounds. From Muprhy’s sudden hatred of pod 6, to his bullying of Eggers, a hapless sealabian he runs into and then tries to run over, his bullying of dolphin boy and then trying to run him over, to his compuance as eggers steals his stuff and then his muprh mobile, it’s just glorious riffing from one of the best in the buisness and Harry is still deeply fucking missed by yours truly. RIP you magificent stalion. 

7. Cavemen One of the series final episodes, and easily one of it’s best. While the later Seasons get some flack. While season 3 is a bit weak,a s Goz’ tragic passing left them stumbling, Season 4/5... it’s complicated, is REALLY damn good and has some of the series finest episodes which many probably never saw. Case in point, Cavemen.  Cavemen is another spirtual sequel this time to lost in time, which also didn’t make the list, but this one is also better. Like LIT, it focuses on one of the series best dynamics: Brainy super scientest and often only sane man Dr. Quinn and all around idiot, moron and bane of everyone’s existance, Stormy, played by Brett Butler and Ellis Henican, both of who nail the two and this episode. The two are trapped in a cave after Stormy’s stupidity blew up sealab, and his trail of dead rabbits lead a shark to him and quinn. The result is a TON of great back and forth as Stormy tries to make Quinn see him as his best friend, Quinn rightfully shouts at Stormy for... everything, and Stormy tries to show off some ancient cave painting she himself made, that quinn quickly figures out because he left his paint around, and shows that off in a very clever gag I can’t convey correctly here. We also get knife fights and Quinn beating stormy over the head with a dead rabbit, an da surprisingly solem ending where the two hold hands as they die before heading up to heaven for a happy and weird ending. Overall an episode that’s really hard to dive into as it’s just relaly damn good and all in the performances, gags and pacing, as it’s done entirely in real time. Easily worth a watch. 

6. Shrabster Another great late season episode and another really experimental one. This one’s told from back to front, then we’re given the ending. It ends up working really well as it not only jacks up interest but the story itself is great. Asj it ends up turning out over the episode Dr. Quinn’s created the solution to world hunger: The shrabster, a hybrid of crab, shrimp and lobster. Grizzlebees, naturally wants it and after finding out Sparks didn’t actually own the rights, have Shanks, muprhy’s replacement, try and steal it, only for him to fall in love with the creature and spirit it away to give it a better life.. before shooting it in the end and eating it himself. We also get some good runners as Sparks starts speaking in slang and gets his neck rightfully snapped for it by Quinn, Stormy keeps eating shellfish despite being allergic, and we get the glory that is dan and don, two grizzlebees reperceives played by reed and thompson who are just an utter delight. I also ALMOST forgot the fucking announcer whose just fucking hilaroius the whole damn time with his various segways. 

5. HappyCake An early classic and damn worthy with a simple, batshit premise, which as should be clear by now was Sealab’s Bread and Butter. Muprhy’s happycake oven has been stolen, so he sends Stormy (who knows about the captain’s bedwetting and thus must be silenced) Quinn and a fishman out to find it in the ocean. Turns out it’s Sparks, in a character defining episode, fault as he’s working on world domination, and thus is working on driving murphy insane and thus stole it. He and marco discuss Marco becoming his henchman and getting metal teeth, Muprhy goes nuts, it’s a damn good time. Also a lot of talk of Michael Cain so that’s always a plus now I know who he is. And of course it has one of the series best lines period “Pudding can’t help the void inside” but it’ll help. Only this low because i’ts a bit structually messy compared to what’s to come and given it beat out two really damn good structurally episodes for this slot, that should say something. 

4. Hail Squishface! No best of list would be complete without this one. Once again the show banks itself on a simple premise: Captain Muprhy buys a white blob, a gloop, from a vendor and gives it liquor and gremlins style his little buddy multiplies and he soon gives them out to the crew. Everyon’es on board except Quinn.. whos naturally proven right ot be suspicious as the gloops methane output will doom them all and only muprhy, whose gone insane and is wearing squishface like a fez as you’d expect, wants them alive leading to what you’d expect: a flamethrower battle between muprhy and the crew with murphy decked out like a transformer.  This one’s just endlessly creative, from the various glooptransformations to the finale to the gags, i’ts just great. The fart gags are also.. actually pretty funny, which given i’m not a fart gag guy most of the ttime, speaks to how well executed they are and use the gags of htem being fart machines. Also we get muprhy in a fez and that alone cements it as top 5 matieral.. but as for the top 3. 

3. Moby Sick

Our last late season entry and the third to last episode of the show ever, this is top 3 for a reason, even above a classic like Hail Squishface. This one just has so many insane jokes packed in I forget quite a few despite them all being pretty damn great.  The premise is dour: A whale named Avalard shows up in Sealab wanting to die, as he has whale cancer. Stormy recognizes him as the star of the show “Gotta Have that Dick”, even saying “I gotta have that dick!”.. which of course they have a loop of ellis saying in the credits he correctly assumes will haunt him for the rest of his days. And if a whale starring in a cheesy 90′s tgif sitcom wasn’t enough we get the best gag of the episode as Marco eats some of avalard’s whale cancer leading to an insnae kool aid style add

And of course Marco later puts on a Mayor F Whale outfit and eats the cancer.. and his way out of avalard. But before that we get fights over wether the whale should die or not, including the guy on the pro whale side stabbing him, Debby’s rambling nosense and Shanks, who first builds a wooden whale to put his brain in .. that promptly sinks “and all my puppies were in there!” and then goes on a far right pundit show and gets into a giant robot phsyical challenge.. which frankly we need more of. Tucker Carlson would be .0001 percent more tolerbale if he were getting his ass kicked in a gundam is what i’m saying. 

2. Feast of Alvis I’ll be brief here, which in an article where i’m already trying to be brief says a lot but since I JUST covered this one a few weeks ago for my best holiday special lists: Feast of Alvis is, like most of sealab, deeply creative, deeply batshit and deply fun as Muprhy pushes his violent frontier version of jesus on everyone, with predicably great results. I watch it every year for damn good reason, it has some of the series best gags, including “Cram a penny o nthere” And great satire about the supposed “War on christmas”. I’m only being so breif as I said pretty much all I had to say last time. Exxcept this: Adam Reed is a DAMN talented voice actor both as virjay (though in hindishgt he REALLY shoudln’t of been playing a hindu man, especially since otherwise the series actually cast poc), and in various rolls and kills it as alvis here. So what could top one of my faviorites? Wellll.

1. Chickmate Another early one and as should be clear the best. It incapsulates the series the best, has the funniest jokes packed into it’s 11 minutes and in general is just an outstanding episode that throughly defined the cast and their rolls and chemistry.  Debbie’s biological clock is ticking and she wants to have a baby, and after mothering a dolphin dosen’t help decides one of the sealab men will be the father and auditions them. It goes as well as you’d expect: Muprhy thought she’d become his mommy, and not in a kinky way, Sparks provides one of the series best gags by giving her a modest proposal by jonathan twist and giving us the utter black comedy joy of him describing “ribs dripping off the bone”, Stormy’s tape gets interrupted by Hesh who clasically screams “Hesh wants some sex”, Marco freaks her out with his muscles and quinn seems sucessful before ultimately botching it and Debbie decides none of htem are worth it. We also get stormy’s untieontally racist and throughly stupid use of the term “Black debbie” to describe the other debbie, which he gets rightfully called out on. We also get this exchange as a result Quinn: What if everyone started calling you white stormy? Stormy: You mean there’s a .. black stormy Quinn: (Beat to take in the stupidity) no. 

It’s funny, it’s clever, and it’s just damn fun. Easily the series best outing and the reason it became what it became. And overall.. the series is just really good. it’s on HBO Max if your curious, and if you haven’t vistied that lab underneath the sea. maybe i’ts time to. Goodbye, Goodbye, goodbye for now, until then.. play us out marco and debbie. 

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

Just popping in to say Hi! How are you? I hope life is treating you well.

Also what exactly is the Bad Batch about? I keep seeing it everywhere, but I have very little knowledge of Star Wars so I'm kind of confused about it.

Also also I'm still letting that Buddie Wicked AU simmer in the back of my mind, along with the 911/LoT Crossover AU, while I panic that school starts in two weeks and I'm nowhere close to ready.

Also also also I ran into that video clip from Pretty Little Liars where Ryan Guzman is country dancing and it hasn't left my head yet. It's been three weeks.

When will Eddie get to dance on 911? I desperately need it. We honestly all deserve to see it. Buck especially. Lone Star crossover ideas perhaps?

-Quarantine Anon

*waves back* Hi!

I'm doing a bit better than I have as of late. I do finally have a job for the upcoming year, although it means a big move within a few days. But I'm employed again and I'm so happy and a little scared. Plus my neck started feeling a lot better after I got the call for it so yeah, it was definitely (and still is a bit) stress related.

I hope life is treating you well too. School starts in two weeks for me as well, so I'm very much in that panic mindset. But oh, let that simmer. I'm doing that with my fics as well.

Ah yes, the Bad Batch. My latest hyperfixation.

So I didn't have a lot of knowledge either beyond the movies. I actually got slapped for never having seen Star Wars once (but that's a story for another time). I knew the general basics of the story after watching the movies. Somewhere earlier this year, I saw the trailer for the Bad Batch and didn't think much of it. And then all kinds of Bad Batch content started showing up on my TikTok feed and it kinda started to get me invested and I wanted to watch it. But it was a spinoff/aftermath of the Clone Wars, which I had never seen and was seven seasons (which I have now blown through and will have to rewatch).

Anywho, the Bad Batch (Hunter, Tech, Wrecker, and Crosshair) are a group of clones with enhanced genetic mutations. They were introduced in S7 of the Clone Wars to rescue Echo, who eventually joins the Batch at the end of the arc. It shows the aftermath of Order 66 for the clone army and how the Empire starts coming into power and that transition to a new age. It has a sort of Legends essence to it in some ways. Plus raising a child, which from 911 we know I am weak for. Also absolute angst material. And great fluff moments. This show picked me up after everything that happened this spring and gave me the juice to write again, and to actually draw some crappy fanart. (And oh my gosh, I am holding out for a second season, I'm attached to them)

@somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds was and is my guide for the Clone Wars/Rebels/Bad Batch era who gifted me with the order of episodes in Clone Wars to watch to be prepared for Bad Batch. Because before you get to the Bad Batch, the full power of the Domino Arc needs to be experienced so you get to know Echo and Fives (and Rex too). I can absolutely give you the episode list if you're interested.

I need to find that clip. For research.

*pounds on 911/Lone Star writer's room* We would like to see Eddie pull Buck out to do some line dancing while the Lone Star crew watches and now they get it, it all makes sense. And I need to write that fic.

[awesomejustgotawesome]

So I wrote out a lot of my thoughts on Godzilla vs. Kong and it ended up quite long, so it’s under this keep reading thing. The summary is I liked it but there’s a few things including one major storyline I really, really, really, really, really didn’t like hahah. (spoilers for the whole film of course)

So while I enjoyed it, I think Godzilla vs. Kong was easily the weakest of the 4 MonsterVerse films. Rewatching the first 3 yet again yesterday, I just love how each one has it’s own awesome style that’s unique to the series, especially Godzilla & Kong: Skull Island. It’s just so good. And while GvsK had the same MonsterVerse vibe all the films have, it didn’t reallly have any style like the others. The action was great, some cool shots/moments, and it was quite colorful at times. But there was just a lack of something the others had. A big something.

On top of that, I do think it was also the weakest of the 4 in terms of story/characters. Again I still enjoyed it, but the biggest problem that really brought this film down so much lower than the previous ones was the fact that Madison, Josh and Bernie’s entire storyline was pointless. They did NOTHING the entire film. They were just there to discover Mechagodzilla, which they really didn’t need to be. It was quick to show us Bernie had no knowledge and was probably not going to do anything, and as the film kept having all three of them not be doing anything it just became infuriating. What they did at the end again could have been done by absolutely anyone. Josh says “if I can guess the password” and then constantly talks about how unbelievably incompetent he is, yet Madison or Bernie don’t leave the fucking room and get anyone, anyone at all, who works there to help. I don’t remember them showing the door behind them being blocked or anything. And it’s not like the employees are evil henchmen, heck the main guy would have helped to stop it once he saw it was not under their control and killing innocent people. But no, just let Josh guess a password and then pour a drink on it, like what the fuck was that.

Millie & Kyle’s characters 1000% should not have returned for this movie. I think if they did a film exploring the Hollow Earth a few years from now, that would have been perfect to bring Millie back when she’s older and can be working for Monarch on her own or something.

Speaking of Monarch, despite four characters who work for them being in the film it feels like Monarch wasn’t really there unlike the previous Godzilla movies. Like Lance Reddick was apparently a Monarch director but, if I remember, the film doesn’t tell us that and he has no role at all. Like why waste a good actor like that. Also Serizawa’s son is in this but it’s barely talked about, they could have been unrelated characters and it’s baffling they weren’t.

The storyline with Madison, Josh & Bernie 100% should have been replaced with one featuring Monarch and Military personal. Not sure why Bradley Whitford, Zhang Ziyi, Joe Morton, Aisha Hinds, O’Shea Jackson Jr, and David Strathairn weren’t in this film reprising their roles. All those characters were great. Also I think Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s character would have been perfect for a return here. Heck I still would have loved aged up versions of Brie and Tom. The post-credits scene of that film hinted they’d be more important but than I guess they did nothing.

This storyline should have been a bit more on par with something from the 1st film, or at least the 2nd, not three characters (two just for comedic reasons) doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The other storyline with the new characters was fine, and great, like previous films. Those characters had purpose, and did SO MUCH. Nothing wrong there, but the fact this other storyline (not including the new bad guy with Mechagodzilla) added nothing really brings the film down. Again though, Millie appearing older working for Monarch in a future Hollow Earth film could have been a great return for the character. Not this though.

Then there’s the two main stars, Kong and Godzilla. Everything with Kong I loved, they nailed all that. Godzilla not so much, I feel like him fighting Kong just never felt justified. Like the previous films I could tell what Godzilla was thinking, but this just seemed to be done for no reason. Like Kong takes one foot off Skull Island and Godzilla beats the guy up? I know the film explains this rivalry legend between them but it still doesn’t work well, unlike Ghidorah who was actively trying to take over from Godzilla. Kong was just taking a trip. Kind of made Godzilla to feel like a bit of an asshole in my opinion. Like he’s so insecure another King is there he has to fight him? Kong didn’t show any sign whatsoever of wanting Godzilla’s title of KotM the way Ghidorah did.

So yeah overall I liked it, but it was the weakest one. And it is disappointing considering how easy it could have been better. Just replace a completely pointless storyline with one that matters and adds something besides comedic characters. Not the best ending to the series, but an okay entry. Really hope they make more though.

[karazor--el]

The Beat

INTERVIEW: Nicole Maines on bringing trans issues to SUPERGIRL

Cori McCreery Cori McCreery

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On March 15, 2020, an episode of Supergirl titled “Reality Bytes” aired on The CW, focused on the harrowing topic of violence against trans women. Actress Nicole Maines, a trans woman who portrays Nia Nal (aka Dreamer) on the series, led the way in the episode with an emotional and raw performance and with contributions in the writer’s room. On March 31st’s Trans Day of Visibility, The Beat got to sit down with Maines to discuss bringing trans issues to primetime television.

The Beat: Happy Trans Day of Visibility.

Nicole Maines: Happy Trans Day of Visibility to you too! Thank you very much.

The Beat: As one of the most prominent trans voices out there today, what does today mean to you?

Nicole Maines: Well it kinda feels like a double-edged sword for me. I feel like, on the one hand, it’s a victory lap for all of us because we’ve made so much progress. You know, we have reached all these milestones but then at the same time you know we have to take a moment and recognize, why our visibility is so radical and you have to remember everyone else who we’ve lost along the way and you have to keep in mind all the new legislation that’s being introduced amidst all this so there’s a lot of emotions, but I think it should first and foremost, be a happy day for us to celebrate that we can even be visible.

The Beat: Yeah. As someone who also has a history of activism in the trans community, I feel that very close to my heart. I’m from South Dakota, which has made news in recent years for all of the really vile anti-trans legislation that they have tried to pass. And I feel a little guilty because it all started coming out after I won a court case in South Dakota.

Maines: Well first of all, congratulations. Second of all, you know, I think we shouldn’t feel guilty about that because it’s kind of like, you know, how a “hit dog will holler,” that old saying? It’s kind of like that. I feel like that’s kind of the final thrashing for that kind of bigotry and way of thinking, they feel they feel threatened, which, you know, they should.

The Beat: So I know we’re all cooped up right now. Do you have any plans to celebrate today online at all with friends?

Maines: Yeah! So I did my social media posts and I did a really, I thought, cool video of like me transitioning from me when I was younger and I was still rocking a bowl cut to now as Dreamer to kind of show, you know, it gets better and look how again just looking how far we’ve come. And then also, I took a moment to kind of give a shout out to, there’s a lot of us who can’t post selfies for trans day of visibility, because you know we’re living at home with parents who aren’t supportive or we’re not in a safe school environment, we’d be facing harassment online from peers. So, I wanted to take a moment, also and kind of recognize, hey, y’all are just as much a part of this community and even if you can’t participate in Trans Day of Visibility, you’re still valid.

The Beat: Speaking of being stuck at home, what are you doing to pass all of your free time now?

Maines: Well, I finally broke down and I got Disney Plus. So lots of that. I binged the Mandalorian and now I’m doing an entire rewatch of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I’m starting at season one, then I’m going to go right into the new season that just got released so I’m really excited about that. Lots of Disney movies. I tried to teach myself how to sew. Turns out that’s not in my skill set. And then lots of video games. Just yesterday I ate Ritz crackers, in the dark.

The Beat: I too ate Ritz crackers in the dark yesterday, so solidarity. What video games are you playing right now?

Maines: Right now my main one has been Warframe on Xbox. I have some friends who’ve been playing, so I’ve been playing that and then also League of Legends Teamfight Tactics because of course, they released a new mobile version, so I can sit in the dark, eat Ritz crackers and play that on my phone, so that’s great.

The Beat: All right, so let’s get to the matter at hand. You’re on your second season of playing Nia Nal on Supergirl. How has this season been different from your first?

Maines: This season feels a lot more of Dreamer, as she’s become her own force, I think. I mean, for the most part, season four was really kind of showing us who Nia Nal was and kind of showing us her growth and her transformation into Dreamer. And so season five has been more, you know, we’ve had Dreamer, from the season premiere, and so now we’ve kind of gotten to see Dreamer’s struggle as opposed to Nia’s struggle, I think. And we’ve gotten to see her come even more into her powers. And then, of course, also struggle with her relationship with Brainiac so it’s been, I think, it’s been a lot heavier of a season for Nia than season four, I think. Season four was kind of like her really coming into her own. and then season five has just been her getting like hit after hit after hit.

The Beat: Yeah, although it wasn’t all roses in season four either. You had the really impactful episode of the show, “Blood Memory”, that talked about the rejection of trans people by their family, which is an issue that affects so many of us. How involved were you in the planning of that episode? I know you were heavily involved in “Reality Bytes,” but how heavily were you involved in that one?

Maines: Yeah. I was still really involved. A little less so than in “Reality Bytes”, because of course “Reality Bytes” was kind of all about transness, whereas “Blood Memory” it was just a blip, it was much more about her relationship with her powers and with her family rather than about her transness. But as far as that conversation between Maive and Nia went, I sat in my trailer with the writer and with Jessica and we just talked kind of about what language should Maeve be using, what feels appropriate to say, and feels like it is accurate how that conversation would go but also not so overindulgent in transphobic verbiage that it would become triggering you know what I mean?

The Beat: Yeah.

Maines: Yeah, so we didn’t want to like lean too heavily into it but we also didn’t want to like, totally pull the punches, because that’s not really, you know, how those conversations go. So, when we eventually settled on just having Maeve say what, to her, made the most sense, which was “How did Nia get these powers if she’s not even a real woman?”

The Beat: Yeah, it was so important, and likewise this year’s “Reality Bytes” got to tackle violence against trans people and especially violence against trans women of color. How did it feel knowing that you’d be so involved in something so monumentally groundbreaking on network television?

Maines: It was really exciting, and also a little nerve-wracking. I have to give credit to our director Armen (Kevorkian) for his Saint-like patience with me. Looking back now, I’m like, oh my gosh, I was so overbearing. But I felt so protective of this episode. Just because they’d given me so much involvement in the writing of it and I knew how important this episode was to me, and how important it would be to everybody else watching it, so I wanted to have my hands in everything. I wanted to know what was going on, what we were doing. And I didn’t need to do that, they knew what they were doing and they were so fantastic. And so incredible and everyone on set just got it and they just knew what we were doing and they knew how important this episode was. And everyone was so excited and so proud to be part of it.

So getting to be involved in the writing process was really great. And then finally seeing it on television was so so rewarding because of course part of the conversation we’ve had leading up to that was that so much ends up on the cutting room floor. “What do we absolutely need to keep?” And seeing that a lot of it was actually kept. Because talking about it is one thing, and then going on and turning on the television and seeing them talk about the trans mortality rate. Giving accurate, statistics, having Yvette talk about her situation as a trans woman of color, addressing that very often trans violence is swept under the rug by law enforcement. Seeing all that talked about was so affirming.

The Beat: Yeah, it absolutely was, and you talked about how you worked hard to keep triggering language, out of “Blood Memory” and that’s something that I felt happened in “Reality Bytes” too, like it would have been perfectly in character for the villain of the episode use the T slur, but the fact that that didn’t come out of his mouth felt so important to me because that is such a triggering word.

Maines: I feel like using those kinds of slurs might have been a crutch, because that’s not what we were trying to do we didn’t want to have this character just throwing out hurtful words just for the sake of it, and realistically, that’s probably what he would have done, but we kind of wanted to show more of what his thought process was. And we wanted to see more, you know where this dude is. What is his motivation in trying to take down a superhero? And so we really want to use that screen time to more highlight this idea of “gay panic”. It’s just so much easier to just have someone come up, tell a slur, and then have a superhero beat him up. I think it’s much more important and impactful to show why that kind of thinking is dangerous. And to highlight those arguments that are being made, because a lot of people really didn’t believe that trans violence was an issue and they didn’t understand why people would attack trans people.

The Beat: So you talked about the statistics that you brought up in the episode, and a big point of debate online after the episode was the choice of having William being more knowledgeable about these issues than Kara, what drove that decision?

Maines: I saw those too. And I saw people talking, “Kara doesn’t need that explained to her, she doesn’t need that.” And I think it was good that William was the one to say and show her because one: he was a reporter, he was reporting that so it would make sense that he kind of had those statistics and he had those numbers, because he would have looked them up. And a lot of people thought that, because Kara was Nia’s friend, that she would have researched trans stuff and she would have… And I think no, you could go up to my best friend in the world, we’ve been inseparable since high school. If you asked him what the trans mortality rate is off the top of his head he wouldn’t know! Cis people, regardless of how supportive they are, I can ask my mother in the other room right now, she wouldn’t know. Because it’s not something that’s talked about, it’s not something that a lot of people think about and really if you’re not in the trenches, doing this kind of work. I think most trans people are unaware of exactly what the mortality rate is at any given time.

And so I think, for Kara, it was important to show that you can be very very supportive and not have all the answers and you can still learn. It was never a question of whether or not Kara was supportive of Nia. We’ve known that from the beginning and we really saw that in “Blood Memory”. We know how important Kara is to Nia and we know how important Nia is to Kara. But that doesn’t mean that Kara has magically become a trans activist and that she has all of this information that she would just know off the top of her head, because why would she? Why is it something she would have looked up? She just wanted Nia to know that she was supportive and that she had somebody. And that’s where that support was coming from it wasn’t coming from a place of “let me look up all these statistics and let’s go lobby together” that’s not what it was about.

The Beat: How did it feel to act out the anger and powerlessness that so many of us feel in the face of this violence. It was so cathartic watching you take action against the bigot. I can only imagine how it felt to portray it.

Maines: Part of it was, of course, exciting, because we’ve never really gotten to see Nia or Dreamer angry. You’ve never really got to see her vengeful. So that was exciting just from a character point of view. And then, acting it out. I really really wanted to show just how deep-rooted a lot of this frustration and anger is. And so, I don’t know if it read, I don’t know if it really played, but while we were actually fighting, we adjusted the choreography of the fight a little bit. Because Dreamer, of course, has been trained by Brainiac and by Supergirl and she knows, and she’s technical, she knows what to do with her hands and with her body when she fights. I wanted to kind of strip that away and I kind of wanted to give it this schoolyard fight feel where she’s not really throwing right hook, left hook, jab, jab, and it’s more just like she’s just going to slug him, like one punch just thrown after the other and really kind of physically show all of that frustration. And then when Supergirl arrives she kind of has this moment where she looks, and she kind of recognizes “What am I really doing?” Because she got so caught up in it that she just completely lost track of her situation. But it was really, it was really exciting to get to show that side of Nia. And it was really I mean cathartic for me to kind of, as he was, you know, listing off all his talking points, to just say like, “Oh yeah your fragile ego was shattered wasn’t it?” That felt really good and I was like “Yes, Nia, read him! Drag him!”.

The Beat: So I’ve got one last question. And that’s about the future of the show. Melissa recently announced her pregnancy and I’m so happy for her. Any idea if we’re going to see more of Dreamer to kind of fill that role to give her more time off?

Maines: I really have no idea what the plan is moving into it, because we kind of had a little bit of a plan. And then it was just kind of, you know, everything was thrown up in the air with the virus. Now we’re kind of unsure what’s gonna happen and when. I mean, I’m on call. Whenever they call me, beep me, I’ll be there. I don’t really know what is in store for season six, I just, I know kind of what we’re going to be doing but I’m not sure of any of the details.

Supergirl is currently on hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic. New episodes will return on April 26 starring Melissa Benoist, Nicole Maines, and the rest of the team.

Comicsbeat.

[glassprism]

Big ol' fan for many years, but I was wondering after seeing your cute Star Wars setup with Rey and Kylo dukingitout, what your thoughts were on the sequel trilogy? It's all been so weird lately in that corner of the internet and given your pretty impeccable taste, I would love hear thoughts!

At first I thought you were referring to my gif of Kylo Ren and Rey duking it out, then I realized you meant my little figures of them, heh. (I was going to alternate between having them fight and having them wrapped around each other in an epic make-out session, just to mess with people, but I could never find the time to keep changing their poses. And also their arms probably don’t bend that way and they wouldn’t balance; I have to tape their feet down just so they stand upright.)

Anyway, onto the sequel trilogy… ah, the sequel trilogy / Disney-canon in general. I’m probably going to smother all your hopes and dreams right now when I say that the sequel trilogy actually killed my interest in Star Wars. More specifically, The Rise of Skywalker killed my interest. More more specifically, I had never been so pissed as when I left the theater after watching TROS. I was angry. Those Rey and Kylo Ren figures? I bought them right after I got out of the theater, because I was so angry I bought them in a fit of spite so that I could use them to pose my own, BETTER ending -

Where was I going with this? Oh right, back to the sequel trilogy. I should say though, that the whole thing is also sad because I started off really liking the sequel trilogy. I’ll admit right now that I am a Legends girl at heart, and that is my canon for the characters. But that didn’t mean I hated the sequel trilogy; I actually really enjoyed The Force Awakens and Rogue One, and really loved the new characters that came with them - Rey, Finn, Poe, Rose, Kylo Ren, I love all of them, I only wanted happy things for them.

But oh man, as it went on… I hated The Last Jedi when it first came out (though it’s grown on me, I actually enjoy a lot of it now), Solo just bored me, so The Rise of Skywalker was kind of the nail in the coffin, in that it sort of wrecked everything I had liked about the previous two movies, and also several of the movies before them. I mean, my favorite character is Darth Vader, so you can imagine how absolutely delighted I was to hear that Palpatine was back, meaning Vader sacrificed his life for nothing. And now he’s related to Rey? Great, way to totally overturn “Rey Nobody”, a development I actually liked! Turns out heroes can’t come from nowhere, it’s all about bloodline! (And apparently, shooting lightning from your hands is GENETIC.) Or Rose, a Star Wars character who looked like me! With her own deeply intertwined arc with Finn that allowed both of them to fully develop into heroes! Oh wait, she only gets 70 seconds of screen time. Everybody’s celebrating at the end? Guess what, that’s exactly what they were doing at the end of Return of the Jedi, so what’s the guarantee you won’t tear up that happy ending just to make more movies? And you messed up Kylo Ren’s entire redemption arc and made it a clone of Darth Vader’s do you know how MAD I AM ABOUT -

Okay. I am okay now. Sorry, the digital release came out and I was skipping through it, thinking, “I enjoyed The Last Jedi much more after rewatching it, maybe that’ll happen here”, but NOPE, it just made me angry all over again, and I never found a place to put my initial anger so yeah, I just threw it all over this post. But now you know that I have some very angry opinions that I’ll spew given the opportunity. And now that I am on unexpected break from work for the next month, I am going to immerse myself back into Star Wars Legends world to see if I can’t rekindle my love for it.