#yeah george's stream was live when it was 3 AM in my place i try not to kill myself over that

[backtochicago]

me on my way to reblog everything i have missed ( george's stream and sapnap's dodgeball match ) since LA timezone is asia timezone enemy 👹

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

Yandere Tubbo x Male Reader

Warning: little violence (not that detailed). 

This one is going to be short.

Requested from Pokadeathpony

Backstory: You live in Brighton, England, United Kingdom. (I don’t know where Tubbo lives nor do I know where Tommy lives) One day you were walking to go get some breakfast. Until you bumped into George one of your favorite Minecraft streamers and content creators. You were a small streamer, not that many viewers. You and George began to talk, he later invited you to see the dream SMP world, and you meet the other people of the dream SMP. You then got to meet Tubbo. You thought Tubbo was normal until it took a turn. A big turn. 

Btw you are 17. (Tommy will be turning 17 this year and Tubbo will be 18)

M/N: Male name

Y/T/N: Your Twitch Name.

M/U: Minecraft username

H/C: Hair color

S/C: Skin color

F/D/P: favorite donut place.

Sorry if this is bad.

You were sleeping peacefully until I heard the most annoying sound ever. 

*Beep, beep, beep,* “Ughhhhh.” You were trying to turn it off but you kept missing until you finally got it. ‘Finally got that stupid thing off!’ you thought to yourself. “What time is it?” I looked at the clock. “7:35 am. I might as well get up,” you said to yourself as you slowly got out of bed, stretching your muscles. 

You went to the bathroom to do your business and brush your teeth. After you were done, you grabbed my keys and went to go get breakfast.

As you were walking to go get your daily donuts and coffee, you suddenly bumped into someone causing me to fall. “You okay there?” the voice said, ‘I know that voice!’ you thought to yourself and looked up to see George, George Davidson!!

He handed his hand out, you grabbed his hand. “You alright,” he said, you couldn’t process anything, you just stared at him. You snapped out of your daze. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m a fan of you by the way,” you replied with excitement. 

“Oh? Really?” he said, “Yes! I’m a big fan of yours! I’m actually a streamer just like you,” You replied. “Oh, really what’s your twitch name?” He asked, wondering maybe he’ll check you out. “Oh, Y/T/N!” 

“Okay, maybe check it out later today. Hey, wanna talk and get some food?” you couldn’t say no to that, how many get to eat with their favorite celebrity? “Yes, I would like. Either way, I was going there before I ran into you.” “Alright, let’s go.”

Time skip (You and George went to go eat, and later he checked out your Twitch channel. 3 days later, you got a DM from George saying; “Do you want to tour the Dream SMP world?” and you gladly accepted the offer. And this is where it all began.)

Y/N POV 

I recently got a message from George saying, “Do you want to tour the Dream SMP world?” and you (Or should I say “we”) know I accepted it. He said tomorrow is when it's happening. 

Time skip to tomorrow. 

I woke up earlier than usual, even beat my alarm clock before it could ring. I went to the bathroom and did my usual. George said he will invite me at 10:30 AM. “What time is it now?” I grabbed my phone and checked, “It's 7:10 AM. Will looks like I’m going to have to wait a while.”

Time skip (3 hours and 20 minutes later)

I hopped onto my PC and started it up. After it started, I opened up Minecraft and checked my Notifications. I received the invite I quickly joined in.

Tubbo POV

I was on the Dream SMP world with Tommy, Corpse, George, BBh, and Dream, when an unknown player had joined the game. That shouldn’t be possible since this server is private nobody can join be us.

“Hey who joined?” I questioned. “Oh, I met this small streamer while I was walking to go get breakfast 3 days ago, and I invited them over to give a tour of the place!” George enthusiastically over discord. 

‘Mmm, so they’re a streamer? Maybe I should get to know them.’ 

Time skip (To be honest this one is rushed. It’s currently 1:08 AM where I live and my mind isn’t functioning right now) 

After I introduced myself and the others did, we began to talk about random things. Apparently, M/N is currently streaming right now, and I went to go check it out. 

After I introduced myself and the others did, we began to talk about random things. Apparently, M/N is currently streaming right now, and I went to go check it out. 

M/N has a facecam on, and I get to see what he looks like. He had looked pulchritudinous. Absolutely exquisite. He had soft fluffy H/C hair, his nice S/C, and how his dazzling E/C shine brighter than the sun. I’m going to say it again, he is ravishing.

‘Wait, why am I calling a guy beautiful?’ this boy is triggering something in me. Something I never experienced before. Something in me wants me to protect him at all cost. ‘No stop thinking about that!’ I pushed these unfamiliar thoughts and feeling down.

As time went on my thing for M/N increased. I don’t know why I’m so infatuated with him. Tried ignoring the thoughts and feelings but they keep coming. 

‘Something is coming out of ME.’ 

Time skip ( 2 months after the meeting)

It’s been two months since our little meeting, M/N is officially part of the SMP world. I’ve been binge-watching M/N streams, his YouTube videos, and I also follow him on all his social media accounts, and sometimes I’ll search the internet to find small information. 

I was currently on a website about M/N. it listed all of the information about him since meeting George is grew rapidly on Twitch and YouTube. ‘I already know all of this!’ I thought to myself as I kept scrolling down until I came upon something interesting. 

“M/n current residence in Brighton, England, United Kingdom.” my eyes widen as I read this, ‘He lives close to me!’ I yelled in my mind. 

I was fanboying until I heard my notifications sound. I stopped what I was doing went to go check who it was from. M/N invited me, I immediately accepted it. The world was loading. “Hello!” M/n yelled.   

It was me, M/N, Tommy, and dream on the server. I noticed that Tommy has been getting close to M/n, really close to for my liking. Tommy would sometimes even flirt, this obviously made me jealous for some reason. 

We were minding our own business until “Hey M/n! Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!” that was the most terrible pick-up line I have ever heard. “Oh my God Tommy?! Really?” M/n said but he was Laughing at that. 

This only made me INFURIATED.

M/n POV

I was minding my own business trying to build my home since I joined 2 weeks ago. The only other people on the server were me, tubbo, Tommy, and dream. Anyway, I was nearly done until Tommy said something, “Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!”

That has to be the most dumbest and funniest pick-up line I heard. “Oh my God Tommy! Really?!” I said while laughing at his attempt at flirting with me. 

Then Tommy went on to say more stupid pick-up line. Some of them were like, “Hey, my name's Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?” and “Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!” Just to name a few. 

I noticed that Tubbo hasn’t been talking as much. I wonder what’s wrong with him. I didn’t take note that was going to lead to something atrocious. 

Anyways we still had fun, Tommy kept trying to flirt. “Hey M/n, I was wondering if we could meet up since you know, we both live in Brighton,” Tommy with hope in his voice, hoping you accept his offer. I began to think, ‘Mmm, should I? Or should I not?’

“You know what? Sure. What time do you want to meet?” I accepted his request. “Uhhhhhh, Maybe on Thursday at 5:30. Meeting place F/D/P.” Tommy replied. “Alright! See you there,” I replied.

No One’s POV

Tubbo was fuming with anger as he was listening in on their conversation. ‘No!!!!! I can’t let this happen! I need to do something.’ Tubbo was thinking to himself, but he didn’t notice that M/n and Tommy had stop talking.

“Hey, Toby! Are you okay? You haven’t been talking,” Tommy said with concern. “Yeah, I’m just fine you know!” Tubbo said with venom and anger in his voice. “Wow there calm down, I was just asking. Geez,” Tommy backed knowing that his friend is anger. 

‘Why is he angry? I did nothing wrong!’ Tommy thought to himself, wanting to know what he did. “You know what, I think I’m going to leave,” Tubbo said as he left the game and went offline. 

“What’s his big deal?” M/n questioned. “I don’t know,” Tommy replied, “I gotta go. See ya later M/n!” “Bye Tommy!” Tommy has left the game. 

Meanwhile. 

“I need to find a way to prevent this meetup!” Tubbo said to himself. Then an idea came into mind. An extreme idea. 

New Messages 

Today at 4:23

Toby: Hey, Tommy. Sorry I lashed out at you today.

Delivered at 4:23 

Tommy is tying…

Tommy: it’s alright mate.

Delivered at 4:23

Toby is typing…

Toby: How about we meet up, so I can apologize in person.

Delivered at 4:24

Tommy is typing…

Tommy: today or tomorrow? Cause I have a meeting with M/n. 

Delivered at 4:24

When Tommy mentioned the meeting toby had to act fast. 

Toby is typing…

Toby: today at my place.

Delivered at 4:25

Tommy is typing…

Tommy: sure thing! When exactly?

Delivered at 4:25

Toby is typing…

Toby: 5:30 

Delivered at 4:25

Tommy is typing…

Tommy: Okay, see you at 5:30

Delivered at 4:26

‘And that WILL be the last time you see.’

Time skip (1 hour 4 minutes)

Toby heard his door knocked. Toby went to go open his door, and there he sees his target. “Hey, Toby!” Tommy let himself in. “So where are your parents?” Tommy questioned. 

“Oh, they’re on their anniversary vacation,” Toby answered. “Ohhh, okay. Wanna head to your room?” “Sure I just need to go get something.” “Okay.” 

While Tommy went upstairs, Toby went into the kitchen. He grabbed the knife and slowly began to walk, he hid the knife behind his back. Once he walked into his room, he locked the door and slowly began to approach Tommy. 

“What are you doing Toby?!” Tommy yelled as walked backward, but then he hit the wall. “It was never meant to be.” those would be the last words, Tommy would ever hear as Toby shoved the knife into Tommy’s heart. 

Toby cleaned up the body by putting it into the trash bag along with the knife. He quickly disposed of the body. 

3 days later

Tommy was reported missing by his parents and the police were on the search. M/n was worried. Toby called M/n to do a cooking stream. M/n was suspicious about this cause this came out of nowhere. But in the end, M/n agreed. 

A few hours have passed and M/n arrived at the residence of Toby. m/n knocked on the door waiting for an answer just then the door swung open revealing a smiling Toby. 

“Hey there M/n! Glad that you arrived!” Toby sounded a bit too happy for your liking. “Please come in!” he invited you in. But as you walked, you heard the door close and lock behind you. Just as you turned around you got knocked by a heavy object. 

You slowly began to wake, you noticed that you were tied up. You looked around until your eyes landed on Toby. He had a wicked smile plaster on his face. 

“Why are you doing this?” you asked desperately wanting to know why. ‘Did he cause Tommy to go missing?’ You thought to yourself until you hear Toby coming to you. 

“You know, I always reject this feeling inside me. This feeling caused me to love you. Tommy was getting in the way of us being together, he had to be dealt with.”

“You’re a monster! You killed Tommy and you think I’m going to love you?!” this angered Toby but didn’t show it. “You’ll learn to love… cause you’ll be staying here…

Forever…”

[literaphobe]

Two questions:

1. What do you feel about CorpsexSykunno ship?

I feel like it's MarkiplierxJacksepticeye all over again, starts out innocent and turns uncomfortable.

(Also I think real people shipping is gross in general)

2. Dream smp makes me so nervous, not necessarily because of any of the members but due to (1) the history of online teams dominated (and lead) by male influencers, (2) minecraft youtube's general history of exploiting fans. I feel like it's going to end badly. You seem to be enjoying it tho, and it's definitely up my alley, should I get into it?

1. Corpse and Sykkuno are not comfortable being shipped! Neither of them are okay with being shipped with ANY of their friends in general, so like, don’t do it, or if u do like. i guess just don’t say anything about it? it’s really not hard to just enjoy their friendship. like it’s an endearing friendship n there’s nothing wrong w liking it. but. nothing more u know. plus both of them have made it clear on several occasions that they’re both straight and my gaydar agrees JFKDKDK like they’re just. Friends. Who care about each other :)

I definitely think it’s not like the markiplier x jacksepticeye situation, because for one u have jack himself telling people not to ship etc etc and also BECAUSE of that u have people actively policing any form of shipping. it’s honestly gotten to the point where it’s annoying but i genuinely don’t think it’s that big a problem, plus the rising popularity of the amigops puts less pressure on one-on-one corpse + sykkuno interactions, since people now wanna see all four of them play games together n not just corpse n sykkuno!

2. I get why Dream SMP would make u nervous. An interesting thing I realized when I started finding out more about people on that server is that there’s marginally more poc on it than I previously thought and also A LOTTTTT more lgbt+ people than i previously thought. Like genuinely why are so many of u so gay. And like that affects the stories being told obviously. Like. I don’t think it’s perfect n I don’t follow EVERY person on the SMP, just like i obviously don’t know everything about every minecraft YouTuber like fkdkdkdk i would say the only people i watch are dream, george, quackity (and even then i haven’t seen most of quackity’s YouTube videos) and like I’ve seen a couple of tommyinnit’s videos Fjdjdjdj and sapnap obviously but he has like 10 videos and i watch Karl’s streams if certain people are on it. yeah i think that’s about it like i do like the feral boys (dream george karl quackity sapnap) and i have seen maybe one or two skeppy videos

Anyway I get ur concerns about online circles dominated by male influencers too. but quite frankly compared to past circles ive seen its genuinely not that bad and also. In terms of holding them accountable, I think mcyttwt makes VERY sure of that (which honestly has devolved into a problem. because privileged haters will dig up stuff on creators that either a. has been addressed properly or b. is just. several years old and i don’t like how minorities are being weaponized. also i cannot stress how little i care that some minecraft YouTuber said the r slur 10 years ago when they literally never do it now. like. i worry so much because so many of these stans who think they’re ‘educating’ are just wearing themselves out n burning themselves out. so many of them are minors too)

but like. the people i am kept up w definitely do take responsibility and accountability. like dream especially gets accused of stuff that’s either fake/not him or something that’s just like out of this world (e.g. accused of queerbaiting. w george. interestingly no one ever accuses george directly of doing this) and no matter what he like addresses it properly and accordingly. like looking at his journey as a creator over the past year he’s grown a LOT and changed so much and matured a lot and i think like. looking at how much he’s blowing up and how much more of a following he’ll gain. I feel much better that it’s him who has this following as compared to. Certain people. And like. It’s upsetting to see how a lot of people have this impression of him that’s objectively false? Due to all the fake stuff that gets spread by haters (most often white for some reason???)? Because genuinely he’s not the creator we need to be so worried about?

Anyway in terms of getting into mcyts in the dream smp. I knew who Dream was because he’s played among us w the amigops a lot n they all like him because he’s just a good natured amicable person. I vaguely knew who george was because of dnf n also people putting his stupid face on my tl all the time. I thought he was pretty n hated that I thought that. I don’t care anymore tho. Like what’s wrong w looking at pretty people. I deserve it. Anyway! I got into their videos through GEORGE first, funnily. I think Minecraft, But I’m Not Colorblind Anymore was the first one I watched and it’s very very good. It’s endearing because it’s George trying out colorblind glasses for the first time n he’s nervous but Dream is there with him to make him feel more comfortable. And also Dream is so happy n emotional (he talks about tearing up at the thought of George being able to see colors properly) and their friendship is just very endearing. The video starts w george taking a colorblind test and we find out he has protan colorblindness (severity: STRONG which makes them crack jokes about how George is SO strong 😤)

anyway these losers. Decide to test the colorblind glasses on colors in MINECRAFT because of course that’s the whole video and it’s really heartwarming to see George learn how colors look like again n Dream just being excited about it the whole time n then George taking the colorblind test again at the end but with the glasses on... n then u go on to watch more george videos but it’s the ANIMAL CHALLENGES. like George Speedruns Minecraft But His Friend Is (Insert Animal, This Animal Is Always Dream) and like...... yeah so I watched a bunch of George’s videos n I went onto dream’s channel out of curiosity

And i was like. What the fuck. These videos are so WEIRDLY named. What the fuck is Finale, Finale Rematch, Grand Finale???? But dream has adhd too and in hindsight I absolutely would’ve titled the videos in a similarly confusing way. Anyway dreams manhunt videos are...... a work of art. I swear to god like even if u don’t know jackshit about minecraft they are very entertaining and weirdly impressive.

Basically in Minecraft Manhunt: Dream has to beat the game, but his friends are there trying to kill him. If they kill him even ONCE, they win n the video ends. He’s allowed to kill them repeatedly though. Manhunt started with one hunter (George, to one’s surprise), then two hunters (Sapnap and George), three (Sapnap, George, BadBoyHalo), and now four (Sapnap, George, BadBoyHalo, Antfrost). The next stage is possibly 5 hunters but idk who is the fifth yet. Anyway the thing that’s so entertaining about minecraft manhunt is:

1) Dream’s Parkour & PVP skills, which he developed and trained over such a short period of time n got REALLY good, it’s satisfying to watch him do risky maneuvers n succeed, the ways he’ll jump from a high place but clutch w either water, blocks, horses, boats, scaffolding, etc, to escape from the hunters

2) Dream’s TRAPS, like he actually does research for possible plans n traps he could do to counter the hunters, since there’s so many of them and only one of him, and he can’t just fight them in combat exclusively, since he’ll lose eventually if he gets ganged up on. I won’t spoil any of his traps, but they’re very good and also very dramatic. It’s amazing

3) The banter and taunting!! The lies and tricks!! They’re all really close so it’s easy for them to crack jokes during a lull where neither party is engaged in a fight, they’re all on the same VC so they can potentially say stuff to trick each other, or they can hear the other team say stuff that gives them an edge

4) The editing. Like the pacing is incredible, and all the bgm used is SO good at setting the atmosphere n making things more tense n exciting etc. like “dream’s manhunt music” is honestly a meme at this point but he actually unironically uses it and it unironically makes the videos better. Also dream edits all the manhunt videos by himself!! he doesn’t hire editors to do it for him or anything

idk what else to say but yeah I watch most of dream n george’s YouTube videos and they’re in most of each other’s videos and I like their dynamic a lot!! Especially since they still have not met in real life but already know they want to like live together (forever, according to George), and it like reminds me of the friendships I have because most of my close friendships have been made online. And like. They remind me that online friendships aren’t actually inferior. That’s it :) sorry this is so long

[equestrianwritingsstuff]

In recognition of 200 followers.....

I composed a list of 200 hero x villain dialogue prompts for you guys to ask me or reblog it and ask your own followers or if you take inspiration.

Thank you so much! It means a whole lot!

1. "I wish I had longer to love you."

2. "Sometimes being the greatest is being the worse."

3. "I will kill you if you die on me."

4. "Bury me... under a willow tree... with tulips and lilies to blossom in the spring and a small stream to keep me company."

5. "Villains aren't capable of love; yet, here I am crying over your grave."

6. "The kitten's name is Max."

7. "I'm going to get a beer."

8. "There is only one way to kill me, but you could never muster the strength to pull through."

9. "I'm dizzy with love for you."

10. "Hero, you are drunk not a toddler."

11. "I pledge to serve you willingly, butthead."

12. "Ride the waves with me." "You are a mermaid, no thanks."

13. "Stay awake for me; it's only a little farther."

14. "I can't carry you!"

15. "He isn't much, but we'll make do."

16. "I WANT TO SEE HER! LET ME SEE HER PLEASE. Please..."

17. "George Washington never told a fib, and I am greater than him, so trust me, Hero, when I say I am telling the truth."

18. "Eggs and butter make dough, knives and guns make death."

19. "You are insane."

20. "The bomb is going off in twenty seconds, Hero. Run now. I-I'm going to stop it."

21. "What is love?"

22. "I don't get the function of hugs."

23. "Mentally I'm good, but physically..."

24. "I only wished for happiness from that genie. I guess it was evil."

25. "Break him, shatter him, destroy him."

26. "Sing with me."

27. "Villain you are touch starved, not dying."

28. "What the heck did you do to your hair." "What? You don't like it?" "It looks like my cat's litterbox."

29. "Don't give me hope."

30. "I am not a disease or a parasite. I am a human. I am one of those millions you swore to protect."

31. "Kiss, marry, kill?" "Kill, kill, kill."

32. "You created me."

33. "Villain don't you dare pass out."

34. "I like the look of blood on you, compliments your eyes."

35. "I kinda dropped Hero through space."

36. "Power exhaustion sucks."

37. "Time to save the world. Yay!" *says in sarcasm*

38. "Let me feed you Hero."

39. "You do not have AC?!"

40. "Villain you have a fever."

41. "Am I drunk?"

42. "Movies. Nine o'clock. Don't be late."

43. "Lemme grab a beer and we are good to go."

44. "Don't. Look. At. Me."

45. "He just had his wisdom teeth out sooo." "How bad can it be? Villain has been shot with twenty tranq darts at one and didn't pass out... immediately anyway, took a good twenty minutes." "Well, you see-" "THE KITTEN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!"

46. "She needs surgery."

47. "It's a panic attack..." "KISS HIM!"

48. "Blood, gore, madness... this was made for me."

49. "Quit drooling on me and sit up."

50. "There's only one bed."

51. "He looks so cute when he sleeps."

52. "Of all the places to live, you had to choose a heavily fortified medieval castle two thousand years in the past?"

53. "You are a peacock Hero."

54. "Let's see who will drown first. You or me. One, two, three... let's go!"

55. "I wasn't always like this."

56. "Madness is for geniuses, not for me."

57. "It's just a sedative that's going to make you nice and docile."

58. "He's out." "Good, let him rest, villainy is hardwork."

59. "I love her, but she doesn't love me."

60. "If I had a choice to save you or me, I'd pick me."

61. "Gag her."

62. "They aren't made for this, give them mercy."

63. "Talk now or she dies."

64. "Broken ribs, broken jaw, broken arm... are you sure you want me to continue." "No." "Then tell me your name."

65. "Get me some thread and a needle. Just don't touch me."

66. "The police are coming."

67. "Tell me where she is. TELL ME WHERE IS SHE OR I WILL SLASH YOUR THROAT AND TOSS YOU IN THE SEWER!!!!!"

68. "I love you." "I don't."

69. "Hug me just one last time."

70. "Villain hey hey hey. Calm down. You've been in a pretty bad accident."

71. "They won't be able to walk again."

72. "Tell me... just tell if they made it."

73. "Can't you just poof me another arm?"

74. "If you saved all of them, you can save me."

75. "I'm really tired..."

76. "Sleep. I will stay with you."

77. "She is sixteen years old." "All musicians start young." "This isn't a concert, this is life. Stop ruining it."

78. "He"s been in an accident." "Where?" "Five minutes away from your place."

79. "I wish he wasn't unconscious, so I could talk to him. So I could thank him."

80. "It's been four months now. I have came everyday and, uh, I dunno what to say. Hero, I need you to wake up. I can't function knowing you are right here."

81. "I have a date." "Hmm with who?" "Supervillain." "When and where honey?"

82. "Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. We are still being hunted."

83. "Desert?" "What are you trying to do? Kill me?"

84. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." "I know, I know dear and I so sorry, but I need you to help me. I need you to help them."

85. "Villain just sleep. Allow the drugs to take you under. Don't fight it, don't resist... just sleep. In the morning, we will be safe."

86. "Being lost in the woods isn't ideal."

87. "An injection of valium will do it."

88. "There's no anesthesia."

89. "Wouldn't it be great if we never met each other?"

90. "Bless you." "I didn't sneeze." "Yeah right. Now go sit down, you're sick."

91. "It's called insomnia you dim-wit."

92. "Join me and we can be great."

93. "You didn't bring me here for the cake." "No, dear, but you are so gullible. I brought you here for a sacrifice." "My life?" "Why yes."

94. "I don't know. I never had someone collapse on my doorstep before."

95. "I have nothing to lose. No family, no friends, just my meaningless life."

96. "That's my daughter, not the villain's... so give me her back before I rip your eyes out."

97. "How long was I out for?!" "Ten minutes, but you were drifting. I don't think you had that good of rest." "Oh, I thought I was asleep for hours."

98. "I know, I know you are going to hate me after this, but trust me when I say it's for the best."

99. "I know everything about you."

100. "I think narcissism is contagious because after watching you for a couple hours, I think I may have developed a little crush on the mirror..."

101. "What did you give me?"

102. "Is she screams, I'm going to scream, and then we are going to die."

103. "No fighting today, my cat just died."

104. "How hard did you punch me?"

105. "Not gonna lie, being delirious was epic."

106. "I am cooking for you. You aren't my servant, so stop thinking it."

107. "My old masters made me into a weapon and called me Villain, but if you desire a lapdog I am going to need to be refurnished to fit your needs."

108. "What is his deal?" "I think he's just crazy."

109. "Love is not what I had in mind when I agreed to go on a date with you."

110. "Hugs are overrated."

111. "Are you too hot or too cold?" "Both."

112. "I wish we could turn back time."

113. "I lost the game." "What do you mean? Hero is dead." "Precisely."

114. "Make a wish." "That you live."

115. "Villain has been acting exceptional! Today we granted them a break from the machine. Go ahead Hero and take him for some ice cream."

116. (Sleepy murmurs) "Don't go. I neeeed you." "Yeah yeah I know Villain."

117. "Villain was the one who hurt me, not Hero."

118. "Supervillain is in danger!"

119. "If everyone is scared of me, I might as well be alone."

120. "My head is killing me."

121. "Don't call an ambulance. Just... hold me."

122. "You don't have to do this. It's going to hurt you more than me." "Anything for you dearest, anything at all."

123. "Hero, go wash your hands before dinner."

124. "You have PTSD?" "I don't know?"

125. "I have soap in my eyes!' "Rinse it out." "Mm no I'm permanently mortally blinded." "Uh huh."

126. "We need to cuddle to keep warm."

127. "Take care of them for me, will you?"

128. "When I'm gone, promise to tell my mother, please."

129. "Drug him and then bring him to me."

130. "Superheroes are for children. In all honesty, we are all villains."

131. "Oh my gosh, Hero, what happened?" "Poisoned."

132. "Wouldn't it be nice?" "I don't fancy prosthetics."

133. "Just shut up and listen!"

134. "There is a memorial parade for Hero tomorrow. They asked you to lead it."

135. "She turned it around... at the end."

136. "I wish that he understood how much I care for him."

137. "Civilian! He fell asleep in my lap last night, like totally zooted. It was so cute, but also very tempting. I stuck a french fry up his nose." "Wow. Did he wake up then?" "Yeah, I am sorta kidnapped right now..."

138. "The book, the sword... all pieces of the puzzle huh." "No, darling, all pieces of my game."

139. "Their death is my fault! Not your's, but mine, so quit trying to make me feel better."

140. "Once upon a time-" "Oh please, not another fairytale."

141. "If only it was that easy."

142. "We are stuck in a maze, how can you be so joyful?"

143. "Celebrate Hero, eat your cake, party into the night... but just know, I will be back."

144. "Call 911!" "Why?" "I stubbed my toe."

145. "Your jawline looks like it was gauzed over in lard." "It looks better than your hay for hair."

146. "You're my best friend." "Villain? Are you on drugs?"

147. "Lay him there and leave him. Let the rats dine on him."

148. "The point of the cow suit?" "Oh, uh, I was at a Halloween parade. You know, for children."

149. "I-i never wanted to hurt you." "I know, I wanted you to, so I allowed it."

150. "Favorite movie?" "Your death." "Ooo never heard of it, let's watch it." "*groans* Oh my gosh, you are stupid."

151. "Being a flutist is my only superpower. And being modest apparently."

152. "Your head will join my collection if yoi don't watch out."

153. "Hey, hey! Wake up, buddy. It's just a nightmare."

154. "Meh head hurts." "Yeah, you hit it pretty hard."

155. "Let's go for a ride." "On that yellow miniature school bus?" "It's a ranger you idiot."

156. "No painkillers, no bandages, perfect environment for infection to settle... I'm just gonna leave you here Villain."

157. "I save you and this is how you repay me? A prison?"

158. "What are you doing?" "Climbing a tree? No Hero, I am breaking into your house to kidnap you."

159. "I formally apologize."

160. "Of all places, Hero, you had to teleport us to a desert. A DESERT."

161. "Supervillain won't stop unless we team up." "I don't think our alliance will stop them, I think it'll just make them angrier."

162. "Stop singing or I will blow this place until even the last atom is broken into itty-bitty molecules!" "That... that is scientifically impossible."

163. "I'm a genius! Yippee!"

164. "Life isn't perfect and nor is your morals."

165. "Control yourself before you kill everyone around you."

166. "Say your goodbyes."

167. "Of all the ways I've died, drowning was by far the nicest."

168. "Love the collar. Is it for fashion purposes?" "Uh, um, uh, er, no?"

169. "You look lonely. Want some hot coco?"

170. "It is negative million out there and you expect me to come in toasty warm after fixing your power?"

171. "Are you sick?" "Yeh." "Come on in then."

172. "Civilian, don't even bother trying to save him."

173. "We have a breach!"

174. "What makes a villain's life less important than your's?"

175. "Enjoy your soup." "You poisoned it." "And you're delusional, eat up."

176. "I hate 99% of the population." "According to a meme I found, you are therefore a cat."

177. "Don't overuse your powers."

178. "This is just an unfortunate event."

179. "You look so cute when you are sleepy and barely conscious."

180. "His fever is rising."

181. "Save her, leave me. I'll-i'll get out of this somehow."

182. "Sometimes self-sacrifice isn't noble, it's selfish."

183. "You are so funny that I need my inhaler to kill you with." "That sentence was so discombobulated that I am leaving."

184. "Just for your information, I hate oranges but love grapes."

185. "Walking down the stairs shouldn't be a momental effort." "You broke both your legs."

186. "You just destroyed my life's work, don't expect me to give you a huge bear hug."

187. "Is it true that you have telekinesis?" "Yes, why?" "Go steal me a donut."

188. "You are so incredibly touch starved, Villain." "Mmm." "Tired? Go ahead and sleep, I'm here."

189. "This is for your own good, I promise."

190. "I'm cold."

191. "I don't want to move and you can't make me."

192. "I AM RETIRED! YOU DON'T NEED TO CONTINUE TO SEND ME PAMPHLETS OF THE HOTTEST HERO OF THE YEAR!"

193. "He's unconscious." "That tired, huh." "No, he passed out from blood loss."

194. "I want a kitten."

195. "I'm no scared of you, so stop acting like I am."

196. "He isn't dangerous, just scared."

197. "They won't be going anywhere for a long, long time."

198. "Hero? Hero? Oh my goodness, please wake up."

199. "Life is too short for pleasures."

200. "I hope you are happy, in the end."

[adultswim2021]

Ephemera Week (2002)

Mission Hill (originally aired on WB, 1999-2000)

Mission Hill was a perfectly good animated series from former Simpsons show-runners Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein. It was a sitcom about cool young people in a cool young people city. Andy French is an aspiring cartoonist, intended to be a Matt Groening type who would (over the course of many many seasons) eventually find success and get his own super-successful animated series called THE SIMPSONS: SEASONS 1-8.

The premise of the show was that Andy’s parents retire and sell the childhood home, displacing his nerdy high-school aged younger brother Kevin. Kevin moves in with Andy and learns how to be a cool city style guy, you know, the kind that’s always “walkin here!” and sucking off Bob Balaban in the men’s room and whatnot.

The show is at least better than the bad seasons of the Simpsons, and has a cool alt-comics style that suits the show really well. Not to damn it with faint praise, it’s a good show. There are a handful of GREAT episodes and plenty of strong jokes. There's news of a revival in the works focusing on Gus and Wally, the older gay couple in the show. It's supposed to take place in the same era the show originally aired in, which is just great.

Like Baby Blues and Home Movies before it, I did catch this show randomly on it's network of origin. I saw one or two of the final episodes to air on WB. I liked it! I was glad to see it get revived for a run on Adult Swim. I've wanted more episodes ever since.

I don't think the show is available for streaming anywhere, which is too bad. It came out on DVD with special features. That DVD set was reissued on DVD-R without special features, so... buyer? be wary. There's also a number of music replacements that ruin some of the scenes. At one point I had a bootleg set where somebody took the DVD video and replaced the audio with the as-broadcast version of of the show. Good luck finding it.

Here's an episode guide showing their debuts on Adult Swim. Bold episodes were originally unaired, making their debut on the channel. Also note: episodes had an innocuous title and a spicier in-house title in parentheses. It’s real Police Squad! shit.

12AM Monday Morning:

May 20: Pilot (or The Douchebag Aspect) May 27: Andy Joins the PTA (or Great Sexpectations) June 3: Kevin's Problem (or Porno for Pyro) June 10: Andy vs. The Real World (or The Big-Ass Viacom Lawsuit) June 17: Andy and Kevin Make a Friend (or One Bang for Two Brothers) June 24: Andy Gets a Promotion (or How to Get Head in Business Without Really Trying) July 1: Kevin vs. the SAT (or Nocturnal Admissions) July 8: Unemployment Part 1 (or Brother's Big Boner) July 15: Unemployment Part 2 (or Theory of the Leisure Ass) July 22: Kevin Finds Love (or Hot for Weirdie) July 29: Stories of Hope and Forgiveness (or Day of the Jackass)

11PM Sunday Night:

August 4: Happy Birthday, Kevin (or Happy Birthday, Douchebag) August 11: Plan 9 from Mission Hill (or I Married a Gay Man from Outer Space)

ALSO NOTE: There are about five episodes that were in early-stages of production and if you poke around you can find scripts for these episodes ( here as of this writing). A full animatic and table read for “Crap Gets In Your Eyes” exists if you search for it. 

MAIL BAG

London Arbuckle ASKS! or, states! sorry I’m writing this lead-in without having read the whole message yet.

Another confusing Baffler Meal thing: the deleted cold open that's on the DVD. It gets called back to in the actual episode ("Between two steamed buns", "Nine dollars!? For what?") and provides crucial context, BUT it also gets contradicted in the actual episode (SG sells out for "one serious speaker" instead of owing a restaurant money). Also I remember all the ads for this episode used a clip from the cold open! It always kinda bothered me that they cut it but boys (matt & dave) will be boys!

I do think the cold open is nice and I always make a point to watch it with the episode. In my mind they are as essential as watching that boring Terry Gilliam short before Meaning of Life. The next step is pointlessly editing them together using Nero. Yeah, that’s the ticket

Here’s ANONYMOUS, baby!

It's summertime and we are talking about Adult Swim and I gotta ask when's the last time you've been to a pool. Have you ever in your adult life enjoyed the benefits of an adult swim. Tell us just how much you like splash around. Yes, that would be quite illuminating I'm sure (rolleyes).

Man, when was the last time I went into a pool? It’s been literally years. I think the last time I swam I did a bad job. I am definitely am getting “bad job” vibes off my hazy memories. Man, my memories used to be precious. Damn!

do you think theyll ever work with george lowe again in any major capacity or do you think he's just bad news.

I was about to say “isn’t he on American Dad” based on him name-checking American Dad as one of his many credits but I just looked it up and he was only in one episode. Damn. Somebody give George work he seems nice.

beakman's world, anyone? The wild and wacky world of Paul Zaloom? Hmm? Anyone?

lol you wish...

Baby Blues really was my everything back in the early 2000s, it may not have head the punk rock cred you clearly seem to crave it was a soothing balm for myself as a new father in a scary world (9/11 and all that, terrible stuff).

you raise a good point, that you’re a huge dork “with child” and I’m cool and laughed at 9/11 because it was funny to me, actually

Just read your Baby Blues "take down" and I gotta say: In the immortal words of Mike Francesca, "You're a fool. ho-kay? A total fool."

Uh huh. Yeah okay. Mike Francesca hordes pot bellied pigs in his apartment and lives in filth. He stinks, and so do youd

Baby Blue is like every animation nerd's wet dream. What if they made the rugrats with only the parents part. And here it is. Be careful what you wish for, chunky.

Yeah and it’s too bad because judging from the previous mail bags my audience is primarily made up of BABIES.

[lightlia]

And it breaks my heart

Pairing: Dream x reader (irl!Dream x reader) [They/Them] [mentioning Wilbur a bit]

Synopsis: What has gone wrong? Is it the fact that they are pretending to be happy or they’re never meant to be?

Inspired by:  LÉON -  And It Breaks My Heart [stream LÉON music!!]

Words count: 2.6k

[ANGST]

A/N: My first fic on this site, yay! Hope you like it! It could be cringing but bare with me, uwu! Feedbacks are accepted so if you have sth to say, pls do so. I literally didn’t save the damn thing and I had to type it all out again. Fuck me. I didn’t proofread it cuz i’m lazy and tired so enjoy reading this.

♪ Think of days when I was yours

Seems so long ago ♪

Y/N moved in their last stuff into their new home after successfully putting everything in their new place. They looked around the living room before sitting down on the floor. Holding in their am was a box with stuff that they were going to decorate. As they opened the box, it wasn’t the stuff that they would decorate with but a photo album, a sweater and a necklace in it. They held back their tears as they took out the sweater and the necklace and wore them. The sweater wasn’t theirs but it was Clay’s.

“Babe, have you seen my sweater? I can’t find it anywhere.” Clay shouted from their wardrobe, opening each drawer to find his sweater.

Y/N skipped towards their room, “Which sweater? You have like so many sweater.”

“The one with dinosaurs on it. The green--” Clay then turned around to see Y/N was wearing what he described. “--sweater.”

Y/N looked at Clay then down at their clothing. “This one?”

Clay then walked towards them with a grin on his face. “Well, never mind. I’ll find another one to wear. And by the way, you look cute in it. So keep it.”

Y/N was flustered and hid their face in the sweater. Clay wrapped his arms around them and his chin was on their head. “But it would look even better when it’s on the floor along with my clothes.” He smirked, causing Y/N’s cheeks to go red. 

Y/N hit Clay hard with their sweater paws but to him, those hits were like patting. Clay then remembered something and jogged to their bedside drawer and took out a box. He took the necklace out and went back to Y/N. Clay went behind them and put it on for them.

“I saw it when I was out strolling with Nick. He said to pick the one with ‘Daddy’ on it but I’ll buy next time if you want.”

Y/N tiptoed to give Clay a kiss since the man is 6′3. “Thank you, Clay. I love it.” 

♪ Now we're standing in the cold

Nervous when we talk ♪

“Goddamn it! I forgot to bring my umbrella.” Y/N cursed under their breath. They decided to walk through the park but the rain ruined it. They looked up to the sky who decided to rain on the day that they wanted to be away from the loud noises and they wanted peace and quiet before they went back to their workplace tomorrow.

“Should’ve had a roommate so they could pick me up when I call them.” Y/N took shelter under a big tree. Their clothes weren’t helping them shield their head and they were soaking wet from the immediate rain. They hung their head down and kicked the dirt beneath them, cursing the rain.

Then something shielded them from the rain, making them look up to see Clay with his umbrella out over your head. He got wet a bit now that the umbrella was above them. 

“Hey.” Clay opened his mouth.

“Hi.”

Then silence surrounded them both. Y/N shifted around awkwardly to ease the silence around them. 

"How are you?”

“I’m doing great. How about you? Find someone better yet?” Y/N asked back.

♪ Such a sadness in your eyes

And now you're looking down

You try your hardest not to show it

Yeah, I can't hold you, give you hope

'Cause I'm not coming home ♪

Clay then casted his eyes down but Y/N caught the look on his face, sadness. Y/N immediately apologized, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” He gave a fake smile to Y/N. “I couldn’t find one and I don’t need one.” He wanted to hug Y/N and asked them to rekindle their relationship but he couldn’t.

“So you’ve been single now for 2 years?”

“Yea. Do you like someone at the moment?”

“Yea, I found someone I like.” Y/N gave him a smile. “But I don’t want to tell him though.” 

“Oh.” 

Clay thought immediately of Wilbur. His initial thought was about Wilbur, probably Y/N liked Wilbur. Of course, they would like him. He was there for them, not physically. But Wilbur would call them to see if they were okay. Wilbur would also talk about Y/N a lot while he was streaming with Clay and others and   told them that Y/N doing fine now, getting the job that they wanted and was in search for a new place to live other than her friends’. Y/N didn’t want to bother them so that’s why Y/N searched for a new place.

But what Clay didn’t know was that it was a lie. They couldn’t tell him that they still need him a bit. However, they moved on because they knew they weren’t  meant to be.

“Let me take you home.” Clay offered and walked out the park with Y/N under his umbrella.

♪ And I wish that I could give you more

When you're leaving me an open door ♪

Clay had been neglecting Y/N a lot lately. They knew about his streaming career and they were very supportive of him. But lately, he had been neglecting Y/N and his food because of his streaming and uploading a YouTube video. Y/N would bring the food up to his office just for him to yell at them for entering his office. He would start missing out on their date nights and the most important ones, the anniversary. He would forget about them and go and hang out with someone Y/N didn’t know. While Clay was having fun with his new friend, Y/N was lying on their bed and crying to sleep. When he was given free times, Clay would be on his phone, typing something. Y/N would peek to see what he was texting but Clay would get up and go to his office, feeling annoyed at their behavior. Clay was never like this so what made him to be like this? 

Then one day, Y/N walked past his office to overhear his conversation with George.

“No, George. You don’t understand. Y/N was never like this. Now they’re annoying. They would ask me whenever I got home like where I went and who I was with. They even brought up Olivia and I told them every time that she’s just a friend but they wouldn’t believe me.”

Feeling annoyed, Clay pushed his hair back and getting frustrated every time he mentioned Y/N.

“Yes, we are happy, George. No. George, you don’t understand. Yes, I know. I’ll talk to them whatever.”

This pushed Y/N to the limit. They tiptoed to the bathroom and just silently cried.

♪ And I wish that I could let you know

How it hurts me, too, that we're moving on ♪

Clay and Y/N walked down a couple blocks then turned the corner, arriving at Y/N’s place. Just as they had arrived, the rain stopped.

“So this is my stop. Thank you for walking me home, Clay.” Y/N smiled and he nodded. “Oh and the rain stopped as well. How convenient.” They looked up to the sky and laughed, making Clay laughed as well.

“No problem. Don’t want you to get sick after all.” 

“Nah, I think I’m gonna get sick cuz I’m soaking wet.” Y/N pointed to Clay. “You’ll get sick too.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Y/N unlocked the door and got in. They were about to invite Clay inside but he held his hand up. 

“It’s fine. I need to get back or Nick’s gonna starve.” Then Clay’s phone went off with someone calling him. He pulled out his phone from his inside of his jacket and he laughed. Clay answered and turned on the loudspeaker.

“Yea?”

“Clay, where are you? I’m starving like I’m gonna die.” Nick shouted into the phone and they giggled at his antics.

“I’ll be there in about 15 minutes.”

“Clay, you’ve been out for about 2 hours and I’m literally gonna--”  Just that, Clay cut off Nick’s nagging and hung up the phone.

“He’ll be furious.” Y/N giggled.

“He’ll be fine. He’s just being too dramatic. I’ve lost a challenge against him and I had to buy his favorite.”

He held up the food package for Y/N to see. 

“You’d better get home quick before he call you again.” Then Clay’s phone rang and they both knew it was definitely from Nick. They laughed once more.

“Alright, I’ll get going then.” Clay said and turned around but stopped to say the last thing. “It was great seeing you again.”

“You too, Clay.” Y/N waved their hand and Clay did the same thing, walking off to the distance.

Y/N watched Clay walking off until he was no longer in their sight. They closed the door and sat down at the door, not worrying about the dirty floor. Clay seemed like he had moved on and got a hold of himself. He was not taking well about the break up at first. So they were happy for Clay that he moved on but they were hurting themselves that they had moved on as well because Clay was everything to them.

♪ Oh, where do love go?

It's right in your hands, then suddenly gone

Oh, no, nobody knows where it disappears

And it breaks my heart ♪

Clay and Y/N sat at their dining table, eating peacefully before Y/N decided to break the silence.

“Clay, we’re not meant to be.” 

“What?” Clay furrowed his brows and moved his hand to place on top of their hand. Y/N shook his hand off and continued talking.

“We’re gotta stop pretending we’re happy when actually we’re not.”

“Baby, what are you talking about?”

“Clay, don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about. We both know our relationship is dying.”

“Y/N, I don’t understand.” Clay grabbed Y/N’s hand, caressing it.

“You neglected me, you forgot about our date nights and our anniversary just to hang out with Olivia.”

“Baby, I told you many times that we’re just friends.”

As calmly as they could portray, Y/N shook their head and pulled out their phone and slid it to Clay, showing him all the messages Olivia had been texting them.

“No, we’re just friends.” Clay shook his head this time.

“Well, have fun with her. I’ll move out tomorrow. You don’t have to send me off since I’m gonna annoy you.” Y/N got up and walked towards the door.

“Baby.”

“You said I’m annoying so I hope me not being here would no longer make you feel annoyed.” And then they walked out the door to find their friend parked their car outside, waiting for them.

Clay on the other hand, was shocked from the event. He didn’t finish his meal as he hurried to his office and dialed George’s number.

♪ Empty station, 2 AM

See your name on the phone

Sayin', "So good to see you, but it made me really miss you

It's hard to be alone" ♪

Y/N got off the train at 2 am after a night out with their friends at the newly opened bar. The station was empty and quiet, enough for Y/N to concentrate. They were sober as they found an empty seat and sat there, remembering that they had seen Clay at the bar.

Their phone lit up with a notification. Clay’s name was shown on their screen, showing that he has texted them. Y/N opened the text, reading ‘So good to see you, but it made me really miss you. It's hard to be alone.’

Y/N teared up and started to type back. They were about to send long sentences to him but decided against it and just sent ‘It was great seeing you again.’

♪ And if I only could, I'd go back in time

Take back every word, say I've changed my mind

But no, nobody knows where it disappears

(And it breaks my heart) ♪

Clay was there as well with his friends because they didn’t want their friend to be sad anymore. They had seen him sad for the last 4 months after the broke up so they dragged Clay out for a night out. Clay downed all shots into his system and got a bit drunk but he was conscious about his surrounding so when he turned around to look at other people, his eyes saw their figure a couple table from him. He couldn’t avert his focus elsewhere.

Y/N after downed the shots into their system, looked around the table to see Clay looking at them. They too couldn’t tear their eyes away from Clay before hanging their head down. 

Clay wanted to go to their table and just talked to them once again but he knew he would mess up again so he just sat at the table and downed some more shots.

Y/N wanted to talk as well and maybe take back their words and want Clay back into their arms but they didn’t want it to happen again because they had gotten back together before, they had sworn that they would never hurt each other feelings anymore and if they break up again, they would let it go for real.

♪ And you want answers, but I don't have them

Say we were happy, so what happened?

Now you're acting like it's nothing, but it was something

You can't erase me, all the memories, you can't change them ♪

Y/N went back to Clay’s house to get their stuff out. They still got the key of his house and unlocked it. They opened the door and stepped inside. They walked to the stairway and turned to the living room to find Clay sprawling on the couch with booze on the table and their pictures scattered around the living room. He was asleep so Y/N took the opportunity and ran up to their room and organized their stuff.

As they finished packing the last box, a cough blurted out. Y/N didn’t have to turn around to see Clay standing by the door.

“Y/N, I don’t understand. We were so happy together. What went wrong?” Clay uttered.

“I don’t have the answer for that. You can find it yourself.” 

“No, tell me. Why is this happening? I want to know why.”

Y/N sighed before getting up and walking out the door. But Clay grabbed their arm, preventing them from leaving the room.

“Let go, Clay.”

“Y/N, tell me.”

“I can’t tell because I don’t have the answer. Now if you excuse me.” Y/N tried to wiggle their arm out of his grip.

“Y/N!”

“Clay, we’re done.”

“WE ARE NOT!”

“Clay, we fell out of love. You just didn’t realize that yourself. Thanks for the memories, Clay. I don’t think I can’t erase them out of my head and I hope you won’t erase our memories or change anything.” With that, Y/N freed their arm from his grip and walked out their shared bedroom.

Clay dropped to the floor and let his tears flow down. Y/N could hear him sobbing from downstairs and left the house with their stuff.

♪ Oh, where do love go?

It's right in your hands, then suddenly gone

Oh, no, nobody knows where it disappears

And if I only could, I'd go back in time

Take back every word, say I've changed my mind

But no, nobody knows where it disappears

And it breaks my heart ♪

Even though they wanted to get back together.

♪ (But I don't have them)

(And it breaks my heart)

(Say we were happy)

(So what happened?)

(And you want answers)

(But I don't have them)

(Say we were happy)

(So what happened?) ♪

They both knew they weren’t meant to be together.

[angstbabyjae]

DSMP Tier List

This tier list was shared in a discord server I’m in, so I thought I’d give it a go. Not entirely satisfied with the section titles, so I used them quite liberally. I will explain why I put people where I did. On the tier itself I didn’t order them by preference but in my explanation I will. Please not that they will be ranked from favorite to least favorite per category (for example: I put Sapnap technically above Niki despite liking her character more) and not by how much they deserve to be in each category (for example: I prefer Technoblade to Phil but I believe people excuse Technoblade’s actions more than Phil’s). I encourage healthy suggestion in the comments since I only joined the fandom around the Green Festival and haven’t seen the history/POV’s of every character, though I try. Enjoy.

Gonna slap on a big ol’ “/rp” here just to be safe.

You've done nothing wrong come here (holds you gently)

So the thing about this section is that I don't believe any dream smp character is completely innocent, so I used this section more like a top of tier than as it's title implies.

1. TommyInnit

Ngl, Tommy is my favorite character in the Dream SMP. As a fellow Loud Person I relate to him a lot and his feelings that nobody really likes him. His mental health struggles are close to my heart and (SPOILERS) his death just made me so devastated. I really hope they don't end his arc like this. Not when he was just starting to heal, please. Tommy has certainly done a lot of things wrong. I'd highly recommend watching the exile decision from both Tubbo and Tommy's POV's because you can really get a grasp of their mindsets. Despite this, he is my fave.

2. Ranboo

Until recently I preferred Tubbo to Ranboo, but cc!Ranboo just totally outdid himself on lore and acting to the point where I couldn't deny it anymore. Ranboo did do *some* things wrong, but they are less extreme than many on this list (I don't count things he might have done under Dream's control since he wasn't conscious). Ranboo's character makes me go into protecc mode. So yeah, very good enderboi.

3. Tubbo_

Tubbo doesn't have much lore for his character, but like I do with many others on this list, I like to overanalyze and interpret certain characters to be deeper than they are. The Tubbo I have in my head is a lot more complex than what cc!Tubbo probably meant to portray. There is so much angst potential with his character, similar to many others, but what puts him top tier for me is the emotional connection I have to his character and how I relate to getting so much put on my shoulders and having to make tough decisions.

you're an amazing character

Okay so technically Schlatt should be on this list if we are speaking from a narrative standpoint, but seeing as the way OP labelled the other sections on this chart I'm guessing they meant morally as well.

4. Alex Quackity

Quackity is my favorite adult character. I don't even know why, I just love the idea of this comic relief character becoming such a catalyst for plot and more serious as time goes on. I love taking the dream smp characters and making them deeper than they probably are, as I do with Tubbo, but now it seems cc!Quackity is fully taking his character to the height of his potential and I can't wait to see what he does with him next.

5. AweSamDude

(SPOILERS) As such a big Tommy fan I must admit, my first thought when Tommy died was that Sam was partly responsible. If Dream told him what he did to Tommy in exile like he claims then he would have at least put up the obsidian barrier between them or something. After watching Ranboo's most recent stream (right now it's March 3rd) I understand why Sam did what he did more. My initial anger towards him has dissipated a bit. I still love his character so much. He really did care about Tommy and now... dang. I can't wait to see what happens with him next.

6. Captain Puffy

It was very close between ranking her or Sam higher, but given all the in depth character stuff we're getting from Sam right now, I'd have to rank him above. Despite this, Puffy is a character that I started out not knowing anything about and am now feeling her climb the ranks in my books. Sometimes I feel like she's the only adult who actually put Tommy's well-being above other things, despite them not interacting often. I wasn't around for the whole "duckling" thing with Dream and have yet to watch the VODs, but I just want her to visit him now and punish him for the Tommy stuff. (SPOILERS) I can feel Dream's next ploy being trying to convince someone to let him out in exchange for bringing back Tommy and if Sam doesn't cave then Puffy probably will. Also, I really hope that her and Niki's relationship isn't forgotten. There's so much angst potential there. Also, I need sapphics to survive.

7. Eret

So, I wasn't a fan of the SMP during season one. I hadn't even heard of it except for like my friend referencing Technoblade now and then. After watching some VODs of Eret's I am slowly starting to fall in love with her characterization. I am so soft for their redemption arc, for the regret he feels. Now that cc!Eret is back from their mental health break I am so ready for more.

8. Fundy

Fundy's a character that I will forget how much I love until he goes live again, or until I reread his old quotes. He has a lot of lore to him that surprises you every time you remember. Whether its his last speech to Schlatt to COCONUT 2020, Fundy always gives the audience something more to think about.

9. "Ghostbur"

Ghostbur is one of the few characters who genuinely make me want to cry. cc!Wilbur's performance was both hilarious and immaculate. I really want to find out more about his lore, though. Do all dead people with unfinished business get an alternate version of themselves to roam the Earth while you stay in the afterlife unable to make contact unless the veil is thin? Was Ghostbur just Wilbur pretending the whole time? (SPOILERS) Is Tommy going to get one? Is Glatt canon? Much to think about.

10. BadBoyHalo

While I despise egg-possessed BBH, normal BBH has my entire heart. The fact he gave up his mind for Skeppy is *chef's kiss*. I am very impressed with everything cc!BBH is writing right now.

11. Karl Jacobs

My second favorite polyamorous dimension hopper after Star Butterfly (let me have Startomco please)! TFTSMP just gets better and better each week. His time travel shenanigans are so fun and mysterious. Karlnapity is just a big ol' pot of angst just waiting to happen. WEDDING SOON PLEASE!

no intense opinion

While I do have opinions on some of these characters, they aren't intense enough to place them anywhere else.

12. Ponk

I don't watch him all that often since he's live during my school time, but what I've seen I love. Him starting that whole side plot expanding on that one TFTSMP episode intrigues me and I can see it tying into the egg somehow. Him and Sam are really cute together (/rp) and I want him to become more plot relevant again.

13. Antfrost

GAY CAT GAY CAT GAY CAT! In all seriousness, I really want him to do stuff with his character to make him more than just BBH's second-in-command (I have similar feelings with Skeppy, but I know he isn't very big on lore). Side note, but I really love the hc that RedVelvetCake is inside the egg. I want him to join so bad.

14. Purpled

I've only just started watching the actual clips from pre-L'Manberg times and Purpled was once much more plot involved than I thought. Him planning on getting his revenge on Tommy at the same time as the "police" investigating the Camarvan back in early season one was comedy gold. Shout out to BlueberryTV on YouTube for making it so easy to watch. In conclusion, we stan an underage mercenary.

15. GeorgeNotFound

Idk if this is a hot take or not, but I feel a good portion of people who love George's character are just DNF shippers who want to turn his crumbs into an angst factory, but you know what? Valid. While I am not a DNF shipper, I have seen the angst y'all have brought to the table and very much appreciate it.

16. ConnorEatsPants

The most I think I've seen of Connor has been the hostage scene and the non-canon party scene from this season. I don't have much to say except that his small speech to Tommy after he was let go about him not being a bad person despite traumatizing him hit surprisingly hard in the feels.

17. Skeppy

cc!Skeppy is not a big roleplayer, and I get that, it's just sometimes his character feels a little like an accessory to Bad's character. Please link me some good Skeppy moments in the comments if you can, I want to try and learn more about his character. His angst with Bad right now is top tier, though, and I choose to believe that Big Daddy Island is canon and that Bad took him there to keep him free from the egg. I actually wrote a fic about this if you want to check it out! Mind the tags, though, I went a little macabre with it.

18. HBomb

When I first learned about the SMP it was two nights before the green festival and I was up until 3am at my aunt's house reading the plot summary. The first clip of the smp I saw was the election VOD, where HBomb joined for the first time. I don't know much about him other than the fact he was Fundy's maid for a time and it was absolutely hilarious. I saw the recent stuff with him leaving Greater SMP to start over and enjoyed it. Hope we get more stuff like that with him.

19. Callahan

Gets all the ladies. What else can I say?

you're trying your best and I respect that

20. Sapnap

I put Sapnap here because he's on his way to becoming an amazing character. The angst stuff with Dream is the stuff George fans can only dream of (pun unintended). I like how he went from the cop, the pet killer, Dream's right hand man, to mushroom cottegecore gay living his best life and dealing with the pain of losing his best friend. The whole "Dream's bitch" conversation with Tommy that I saw an animatic for some time ago made me hurt so good. Also #KarlnapityWedding2021.

you're redeemable, thin fucking ice though

These are characters who I somewhat dislike to a degree, but still have hope for. In my opinion this section should be switched with the one after it in terms of which is worse, but oh well.

21. Wilbur Soot

I know he's already dead but if he's brought back to life I want a redemption arc from him back. (SPOILERS) If neither him nor Tommy come back to life then dsmp has a horrible track record with killing off their mentally ill and (tw) suicidal characters. Wilbur has done some awful things, but if he's brought back I don't think he'd be beyond saving.

22. Jack Manifold

I need to say something about Jack. He is so very very close to being in the "you're trying your best" section right now after his most recent stream. His redemption arc is so close I can taste it and if he is redeemed right I can see him joining my faves. His most recent stream was just so well acted that my heart just wants to forgive him already... until my brain remembers he tried to nuke a child. Don’t know if this is also a hot take, but I think he had more of a right to be mad at Tommy than Niki did, but I know for Niki it's more complicated than that.

23. Niki Nihachu

There was a time that I adored Niki Nihachu and a part of me still does, but she has gone a little bit off the deep end. I do understand it's a trauma response, though. cc!Niki said that her villain arc is almost over, which disappointed me a bit because we kinda barely got to see it since it was so overshadowed, but I am also relieved. I just want my wlw baker back :(

people excuse your actions more than you deserve

I am just going to pretend that this section doesn't say "love". I still like these characters a lot even though they get away with a lot of shit.

24. Technoblade

I love Technoblade too much for him to be ranked this low, but like I said this ranking is based on fitting the section descriptions, not how much I love them. Technoblade's POV is understandable but also that doesn't excuse the pain he's caused so many people. L'Manberg was more than it's a government as much as Techno is more than a weapon.

25. Philza Minecraft

Philza deserves to be in this section a little less than Technoblade because I actually agree with a lot of what Philza fans say. Tommy is not Philza's kid. Phil has a lot of trauma around killing Wilbur, yes. I just don't see how you could watch Ghostbur's Friend speech during Doomsday and think he was in the right for doing it.

i don't like you

26. JSchlatt

JSchlatt is an amazing character in many ways. The acting? Glorious. The dialogue? Spot on. With that being said, YAYY HE'S DEAD!!! I really like leaning into the abusive relationship hc with him and his cabinet. He was probably the most fun villain we've ever had, though.

I WANT THIS MOTHER FUCKER DEAD

27. DreamWasTaken

Come on, do I even have to explain?

[austin-winchester67]

REVERIE

I couldn’t believe it when I saw her walk through the doors and into the brewery. She was beautiful. Her y/h/c was pulled back in a simple braid that hung loosely across her right shoulder. Her y/e/c damn near stopped me in my tracks but I had things around that I had to do and couldn’t be distracted. However I did take note of where she had been seated.

Music was billowing from the sound system, idle chit chat was being had around the tables that were scattered around the inside floor of the building, but one laugh broke through all of the excess noise and caught my attention while I was behind the bar. I snapped my head up to see where it was coming from and discovered that it was coming from her table. I had been so zoned in on watching her face light up as she laughed that I failed to immediately notice that there was now somebody else sitting at the table with her. A man. To say that my smile fell and that my hurt ached a little was an understatement.

Of all days for me to be distracted, this was not the day. It was a Saturday afternoon and the musical reformer for the evening had cancelled last minute due to a family emergency. That meant one thing. I was going to have to get on stage and sing a little bit. I had no problem doing it, honestly it was second nature to me and it was something that I loved doing now and had gotten use to thanks to all the conventions that I had sang at. But this was slightly different and I knew that it would be as soon as I had seen her.

“Hey Boss, are you ready?” George asked me as he was getting the stage set up finalized for me.

“Yeah. Give me just a minute.” I replied as I signaled him for paper and a pen so I could jot down the songs that I wanted to do.

After a few more minutes I was standing on the small stage with the microphone in hand and the light shining on me.

“Hey y’all! It’s good to see so many people here on this beautiful Saturday. First I want to apologize but our musical act of the night couldn’t make it due to unforeseen circumstances.” I started.

Everybody had their eyes on me and I could feel one set of eyes imparticular. She was boring a hole straight through me. Apparently she hadn’t seen me when she came in or any while she and her date were sitting there enjoying each other’s company, because her eyes had just about bugged out of her head when she heard my voice.

I watched her relax back into conversation with her date while I spoke into the microphone again.

“But…” I said as I lifted a finger to the audience telling them to hold on a second. “I have something up my sleeve for y’all. Me. I am going to be the musical entertainment for the night. Just please, don’t throw any tomatoes at me.” I laughed as the music started.

I breezed through a couple of songs with no problems but the song that I was going to end this set with would be different.

When the first chord of the song played I hung my head because I knew just how hard this was going to be. Not just for me.

I took the deepest breath possible before I started singing.

“She don’t love you, she’s just lonely

She wasn’t once upon a time

She used to dance when the band played

She used to be the trustin’ kind”

On instinct I scanned the room to see how people were reacting to the song that I had picked. Most people were just idly watching me with their generic wonder.

But her table told a different story. Her eyes had me pinned against the wall, while her date was none the wiser to anything that was going on.

“She’s no stranger to the leaving

She’s heard all the best goodbyes

Fallin’ has a different meaning

To her you’re just another guy”

I had to keep pulling my eyes away from her while I was singing, and while her date was trying his best to get her attention centered back onto himself.

“She don’t love you, she’s just lonely

She don’t know another way

To break free from what’s been broken

Too many cowboys rode away

So forgive her if she’s distant

She can’t tell her heart to lie, no

You’ll never been her one and only

She don’t love you, she’s just lonely”

“You can hold her in the moonlight

You can give her all the stars

You can promise her forever

But you’ll never have her heart”

“She don’t love you, she’s just lonely

She don’t know another way

To break free from what’s been broken

Too many cowboys rode away

So forgive her if she’s distant

She can’t tell her heart to lie, no

You’ll never be her one and only

She don’t love you, she’s just lonely”

As embarrassing as it was, I was so into the song that I had to wipe a stray tear from my cheek. I felt this song way too much, that’s why I picked this song.

“She don’t love you

She don’t love you, she’s just lonely

She wasn’t once upon a time

I remember her in sunlight

I remember her when she was mine

Mine.”

As the song ended I stood there briefly, with my head down, trying to catch my breath as the crowd showered me with their applause.

“Thank y’all. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” I thanked everybody as I waved and walked off the stage.

After a few minutes I finally mad my way back behind the bar and poured myself a healthy 2 fingers of whiskey. My plan was to just hang out behind the bar and makes drinks whenever the staff needed them but that plan was quickly shot to shit.

I heard her bracelet hit the bar just before I heard her voice.

“Jensen?” I asked softly, almost timidly.

‘Well here goes nothing.’ I thought as I swallowed the whiskey down all at once.

“Y/N.” I muttered before I turned around to face her.

“What are you doing here Jensen?” I could hear the confusion laced in her voice.

“Well I do own this place.” I stated matter-of-factly, trying to remain composed.

“I meant, I thought that you were still in Vancouver.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble darling but I still come home on weekends. This is home still.”

“I know. I just didn’t think that you would be here today. I…I shouldn’t have come.” Y/N said just before she turned away.

“No. Y/N…please. Stay for a minute.” I almost begged as I reached out and grabbed her hand before she could pull it off of the bar.

When Y/N turned around I could see the hurt in her eyes. I recognized it so quickly because it matched mine.

“Jen…I really shouldn’t have come, today of all days. I really didn’t think that you would be here. I figured that you would be in Vancouver filming or drowning in a bottle of whatever you could get your hands on.”

“Why are you here Y/N?” I asked softly, leaning onto the counter of the bar trying to close some of the distance that was between Y/N and I. Literally and metaphorically.

“Like I said, I didn’t think that you would be here today. I just needed to feel grounded. It’s been a year.” She explained, tears threatening to spill over her lower lashes.

“Yet you brought a date.” I could feel the disdain dripping from my voice.

“He has no idea what happened Jen. I’m just trying to move on.”

I grabbed her hand again and made her follow me to my office before I blew up in front of dozens of people that didn’t need to know my business.

“Trying to move on?!?” I growled as I closed the door to my office and locked it, not wanting anybody to barge in.

“Jensen. My date is out there! I can’t leave him alone.” Y/N groaned.

“I don’t give a fuck about him! How dare you bring another man HERE…TODAY!” I choked out. I didn’t want to yell her Y/N but everything was bubbling up and threatening to jump out.

“Jensen! I am just trying to finally move on.” Y/N spoke, tears pouring down her beautiful face now.

“Yeah. Now. The one thing that you couldn’t do with me…after everything.”

“I know. I’m sorry Jen. I tried. You tried. God, we tried so freaking hard! Don’t think I don’t know that. I NEVER asked for any of this shit to happen.”

“I know you didn’t.” I whispered as I pulled Y/N to me and wrapped her in a much needed hug. “Neither of us did.”

“Why did it have to happen to us Jens?” she cried into my chest.

“I wish I could answer the Y/N. I really do. To be totally honest with you, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t wonder the same thing.”

“I miss her so much.” Y/N looked into my eyes and I could see the devastation there, almost as fresh as the day our lives fell apart.

“I do too sweetheart.” I assured Y/N as I pulled her face back into my chest and stroked her hair soothingly. “I would do anything to have our baby girl Reverie back with us. But I guess things weren’t meant to be. Those 3 months with her were the best of my life. That night that I found her in her crib, I wish I could black it out of my memory on a daily basis. I wish I could bring her back and things could be the way that they were for us.” I spoke, tears steadily streaming down my face.

“I feel like my heart is being ripped out every time I wake up. I still have a picture of her up in my room at my apartment. I don’t think I will ever take it down.”

“I have her picture in my living room in Vancouver.” I tried smiling.

“I don’t remember if I ever apologized to you for pushing you away after Reverie died. It was so sudden and I didn’t know how to handle a loss of that magnitude. She was everything Jensen.” Y/N spoke as a sob wracked her body.

“Y/N losing a child, at any age, is something that a parent should never have to go through. Unfortunately for us, we were 2 unlucky souls that had to find a way to handle our 3 month old baby girl leaving us way too early. Sweetheart, there is no need to apologize for handling her death badly. Once you called off our engagement and kicked me out, I went back up to my place in Vancouver and got lost in my whiskey, beer, wine, anything that I could drink really. But I knew I couldn’t stay like that. Too many people depend on me. But most of all, I depend on myself and I had to grieve in a different way. I really can’t explain it Y/N, but I’m in a better place now. I’m not going to lie though, my heart fell out of my ass when I saw you walk in earlier. I wanted to run but I knew that I couldn’t.”

“You saw me walk in?” Y/N asked.

“Yeah. As soon as the doors opened I saw you. Then I saw your boyfriend sitting with you later on. I know that you are moving on and I’m happy for you but I know that you are lonely. You should know that if you ever want to talk about Reverie that you can call me. There is no reason that I shouldn’t have heard from you for the last 10 months. We needed each other and we weren’t there. There is no reason that we should be strangers Y/N. We were together for 3 years before you found out you were pregnant. We were going to get married. We shared our lives and had a beautiful daughter. You will always have a piece of me.” I said as I wiped the tears from my face.

“Boyfriend? Jensen, this is only mine and his second date. I have only known him about a month. He is sweet but he has no idea about anything. I don’t want to tell him just yet.”

“Well, I will let you get back to your date. Enjoy yourself Y/N and if you need anything just let me know. That goes for after you walk out of the brewery doors too.” I told her as I kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you Jensen. You will always have a piece of me too babe.” Y/N said as she reached up and kissed my cheek before she walked out of my office and back to her date.

I sat at my desk trying to catch my breath for a couple of minutes while mindlessly going over some paperwork that had been on my desk for a few days. That was until I heard my name.

“Jensen.” Somebody spoke through my closed door.

“It’s open.”

“My date left.” Y/N said with a crooked, lost looking smile.

“Oh really?” I smirked.

The End

[curious-minx]

Denis Leary is making an animated vignette series based on Dogs Playing Poker and 10 Other Pieces of Kitsch Art That Should Be Turned Into TV

KITSCH auction house tremors and stampedes.

Dennis Leary basically discovered sex, drugs and rock n’ roll with his 2015 two season FX series Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll. Leary’s always been one of those guys that can’t be beaten down  in spite of how dopey and cynical his edgy working class personal brand is. He’s got an entire deal set up with Fox, the flailing broadcasting company has placed all of their chips on a Denis with only one lousy  “N” in his name. I can’t even with this fake Irish Bostonian droid. Relish in the delicate thought process of Leary and leftover former Daily Show producer, Jim Margolis,  bringing up a Pinterest screen grab of the Dogs Playing Poker by Grand Master of Kitsch Cassius Marcellus Coolidge and money signs popping out of both of their heads. Here is a dramatic retelling of this thought process:

“Yo, get this Big D,” salivates the recently fired from Netflix Jim Margolis to Leary over a Zoom, “Fox got this Bento Box Animation Studio sitting around doing nothing but churning out animated interstitials for the Masked Singer, Paradise PD, The Prince, The Blues Brothers animated series, animated Harold And Kumar, Housebroken, The Great North, and ugh..um..Hoops..”

“I fuckin love Hoops, Jimmy! Why aren’t we pitching this on Netflix again?”

“Because Dogs Playing Poker is going to work so much better as pregame filler for live Sporting Events...on Fox.”

“Oh yeah. All of those rotten good for nothing grease monkey and lunch pail people will probably be giving each other Budweiser flavored Covid at the local saloon with these damn dog pictures hanging up. It’s like when old drunks would stay out late and watch the Flinstones at the bar, did you know that actual human male adults would sit in a town like Boston and waste away in a bar watching Flintsones. Can you believe that Johny?”

“My name is Jimmy, err Jim, but yeah Denis we’ll send you the scripts over. Any idea who we should cast?”

“Get me the hot blonde from Inspector Gadget 2, God dammit I miss Louie..are we sure we can’t get Louie back on air?”

“Afraid after Patton Oswalt dognapped his role from him in Secret Life of Pets, Louie CK has been banned from ever appearing as a talking dog again.”

“So bogus. Bobby Kelly will have to do.” Denis gets a text. “Dammit, Adam is getting all thirsty for this juicy  delicious bone. Gotta throw a  big bone to my dog Ferrera. Who else?”

“Ok. I’ll get one of those sad Daily Show losers. Um picking one at random, Roy Wood Jr. They’ll pretty much jump into anything, because John Oliver was in Love Guru they start thinking they can fail their way up.”

“I said no politics at the table! Paws off the table! This is going to be so fucking lit!”

////

Kitsch Art deserves so much more. George Lucas, retired American filmmaker, robber baron of childhoods and all around  mensch has been heavily invested in the kitsch art of Norman Rockwell. There are a bounty of stories to tell. Too many of them are far too white and basic, but there are rich narratives to be found in his out of date even for his own time romanticism of The Old Masters. Hopelessly out of date could have been a failing of Rockwell, but his politics grew progressive as his career went on and fought against the system. Cassius Marcellus Coolidge is the man that operated the first bank in Antwerp, New York  had the astronaut-like grace to wonder, “what if dogs played poker like people played poker?” A painting that dates back to 1894 used as means to sell cigars. What strikes me most about this painting is that they aren’t wearing clothes, but I bet when you try to imagine the painting you imagine these dogs fully decked out in some sort of work coat. There is a further anthropromized version of the ad called “His Station and Four Aces” that depicts a glimpse at a look at an entire canine furry society. His ideas of putting an animal in clothes remains to this day one of the most novel and surefire commercially friendly means of artistic expression. The original cynical man laughing all the way to the bank, his own bank that he founded to boot.

Seen above: An example of a Comic Foreground that also demonstrates the failings of having too few people in your party to properly partake in the comic foreground experience. 

“Cash” Cassius wasn’t the first man to imagine a domestic pet in people clothes, but he’s probably one of the few to do so with such commercial finesse. The man also at one point filed the patent on the “Comic Foregrounds,” which is the technical name of one of those carnival boards with holes to stick your head in. In post Covid times how many more heads will be salivating and rushing towards those holes to pop their heads in to create a lasting memory, if only for a second. So when I start learning more about this remarkable weirdo Cassius Coolidge, a man according to his official website dogsplayingpoker.com’s Biography: “Trying to chase mischievous boys from an abandoned house, he fell from a window and hurt his knee, leaving him injured for the rest of his life.”

Flash forward back to 2021 and Denis Leary and his career a man with a wikipedia with fun entries about all the accusations of plagiarism and hate speech against autism I start to worry about the legacy of more Kitsch art falling into the hands of other greedy and desperate TV executives. That being said if you are a greedy TV executive who happens to be a maniac that likes reading rando’s tumblr pages do I have a list for you!

TOP TEN PIECES OF KITSCH ART THAT SHOULD BE TURNED INTO SOME KIND OF SOMETHING

“We Are Having a Heavenly Time” Columbian Bike Monkey and Parakeet by, once again, Cassius Coolidge

Coolidge’s anthropomorphic foresight strikes again! This time he effortlessly establishes a captivating duo that could be easily voiced by an endless combination of celebrity voice actors. PAUL RUDD as “Monkey” and ISSA RAE as “Parakeet” present “We Are Having a Heavenly Time” present a travel show. You could basically use whatever leftover footage you have lying around from the many Conan O’Brien segments and plug Monkey and Parakeet and their trusty bicycle anywhere for an irreverent glimpse into the foreign World around us.

2. “Clown and The Girl” by Haddon Sundblom  

Now I know what you’re thinking, that title is miserable! I agree, but with a little  reverse engineering you get The Girl and Clown, which could be a whole new addition to the Girl on a Train, Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, Girl with a Dangly Earpiece, the Girl-Verse! The girl appears to be quite fearless of this clown, which is good because we need someone to be brave for when the clown takes off his mask.

Sundblom is also the original artist for the Coke a cola Santa Claus and how is it that we have gone this many rotations around the sun without a single Coke a cola Santa Claus special is the real reason why Christmas will always be the saddest time of year.

3. “Clean Your Fornasetti” based around the artistic Plate collection of Pierro Fornasetti 

Muk bangs, videos of people eating are a huge cyber traffic boom. People love watching people eat. Why not add the element of surprise by what kind of playful Fornasetti chanteuse is hiding underneath this plate full of gruel? Fornasetti is an artist with over 11,000 items created in his name and over 500 of them are based around a variety of expressions of a single woman. Clean Your Fornasetti is a deep and poetic rumination of the romance between the act of someone cleaning their plate and the reveal that the plate contained a visual feast all its own.

4. “Mickey’s Kinkade Playhouse” by the one and only Thomas Kinkade

The Kinkade Studios features over 63 “narrative panoramas” featuring Disney characters, but largely Mickey and Minnie, simply vibing. It’s time we stop pretending that small children like Mickey Mouse and market him for wistful older audiences that want to radiate in a nice long warm bath of color and sound. I am not sure I am even pitching an actual series but more of a Narrative Panoply. One thing that is missing from Disney Plus, and streaming services in general, is a severe lack of programming frills and flourishing. The iconic Adult Swim bumps are something completely lost to the dustbins of programming history left to remain in youtube compilations. Thomas Kinkade is a lot like Enya. Art critics treated him like a comedic punching bag for so long, but I doubt there’s an artist that grasps the kind of sterile enchantment people want after a long day of opioid benders. We’re all trapped inside doing puzzles why not do the bare minimum of slightly animating a pleasant scene of Mickey and Minnie roasting marshmallows or enjoying a breath of fresh Alpine air?

5. “Dust Lickers” by Odd Nerdrum

Quick! Get me Trash Humpers’ Harmony Korine on the Line Show him Shit Rock! The world of Odd Nerdrum is a harsh and primeval one that would make for an astonishing animated landscape. Odd Nerdrum himself feels like a worthy subject of some kind of documentary based around his imagery and insistence on making his art in the most arcane and old fashioned methods possible. Once again, maybe the visual world of Odd Nerdrum may not make for a full on narrative series, but once again would make for one hell of an animated segment.

6. “Homemade Pasta” by John Currin 

A cozy Queer slice of life cooking drama based around the two charming fellows of John Currin’s Homemade Pasta scene. A series of vignettes based around the completely unfabulous and domestic version of bliss that was denied many people as a result of the AIDS crisis. You can’t tell me you don’t see those two nice guys getting cozy and making pasta together and you aren’t dying to see how they go about rolling out their own focaccia bread.

7. “The Velvet Elvis” by the Collective Conscious 

David Lynch at one point in time was trying to crack into making his own Elvis biopic. I think it’s pretty safe to say that the age of a public wanting a David Lynch directed Elvis biopic has probably passed, but that does not stop Velvet art enthusiasts. TheVelvetStore.com is featuring a remarkable promo that could really bump up what a David Lynch Elvis movie could be like and the horror of having one’s soul trapped inside of a Velvet Elvis rendition painting seems like a pretty fertile place to begin a proper story about Elvis in America. 

8. “Big Eye Bunch” by Margaret Keane 

Yes, it was only a matter of time before Ms. Big Eyes herself, Queen of Kitsch, Margaret Keane would come up on a list like this. Tim Burton tried and sort of kind of captured what it so endearing about Keane’s work, but I think a fully animated dive into an orphanage full of sad Big Eye kids that time travel and meet other Big Eyed children version of historical figures is a Big Idea that could make a whole new generation keen on Keane.

9. “Banality” by Jeff Koons

An animated series based around the artistic sensibilities of Jeff Koons would be a tricky affair, but just the kind of gaudy whimsy that someone like Michel Gondrey could use to proper effect. A series based around someone trying to steal the fifteen million dollar Michael Jackson statue would also be appropriate.

10. “Groovenians reboot” by Kenny Scharf

Scharf is the only artist on this list that actually was a kitsch artist that caught the attention of early aughts adult swim. A tv show that only features the artistic sensibilities of Scharf but also a voice acting cast that consisted of Paul Reubens, Rupaul, Vincent Gallo, and Dennis Hopper. There’s also a theme song performed by the B-52s and musical direction by Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh. One of the only known published reviews of the pilot describe the show as needing mind altering substances to enjoy and that it is essentially like “watching a cartoon reflected off of a funhouse mirror. This is basically a description of the modern tik tok addled twitchy type content that makes a killing on the Internet for millenial and zoomer types. Basically the whole aesthetic of a warped and broken looking cartoon is the exact sort of thing weirdos deep diving at youtube at four in the morning are looking for and seeing that this gets a failed pilot and Denis Leary’s Dog Poker vignettes get greenlit is exactly what’s wrong with the world.

[selfwriting-sugarquills]

Heat in the rain pt. 3: One of those job things.

(Oof, we’re getting into the fluff now! Also, slightly unrelated but: I have a headcanon that the twins drink an absurd amount of coffee, that’s all - Hope you enjoy it! xxx) 

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 

Description: Reader decides they should get “one of those job things” (points if you get the reference- well I did use the gif so it shouldn’t be hard lol), and heads out, while she’s gone Fred urges George to confess his feelings. 

Warnings: None, just a load of fluff

Word count: 2257

 It was ten-thirty am on Sunday when the twins shuffled out of George’s bedroom looking tired. You were already sitting in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea while reading a newspaper, before you sat a stack of three other newspapers, all open on the same pages, 

“Morning,” Fred yawned, scratching his hair lazily, he beelined for the fridge whilst George headed for the kettle, making himself a cup of coffee. He took a sip and sat down beside you, 

“What are you up to?” He asked, his voice gravely and sleepy, he rubbed his eyes as he squinted at the pages, 

“Are those job articles?” He asked, scooting closer to you, you smiled at him, 

“I figured I should get a job as well, make some money, get back on my feet” You took a sip of your tea, Fred pulled out his wand and behind him, eggs started cracking themselves into the heated pan on the stove, some potatoes leftover from yesterday were being chopped by an enchanted knife and bacon was separating itself from the pack and placing itself delicately onto the pan as well, popping and sizzling with the eggs, 

“You know, Y/n, if you wanted a job, you could just ask us,” Fred said, pouring himself some coffee as well, “Yeah we’d be happy to let you help out with the shop,” George added, eyes glancing up from the newspaper he’d stolen from your pile, 

“That’s sweet, guys but I couldn’t work for you, I’m already living with you for free,” You said, “It wouldn’t be fair be take from your pay as well,” You pulled the newspaper a little closer to you, 

“besides,” You pointed to the newspapers, “There are some pretty good jobs out there, I think,” 

Fred walked over beside you, looking over the black and white pages, 

“Like what? window cleaning?” Fred asked, grinning, “or dog walking?” he broke into a laugh, 

“Well, I wasn’t gonna pick those,” You said, slapping Fred gently on the arm, 

“Madam Malkin’s is hiring,” George said, pointing to an article in the newspaper he was reading, “That might not be too bad,” He added, grabbing a pen you circled it, 

“Thanks, George,” You said, giving him a smile, “You’re welcome,” He answered, sipping his coffee, “But if everything fails you better apply at the shop,” 

“Or just apply now, you know we’ll hire you immediately,” Fred said, scooping some eggs and bacon onto a plate, “Out of the question!” you said, downing the last sip of your tea and standing up, “But I have to head out now, I have to write a killer resumé without mentioning that I have zero experience,” you explained as you headed towards the door, collecting your jacket, George stared at you tying your shoes, 

“And you can’t do that here because?” He said, drawing out the last word, you beamed up at him slightly mischievously, he didn’t let it show, but something inside his chest squirmed when you looked at him like that, “Because,” You said, mimicking the way he’d said it, “you two won’t be working today, which means you’ll be here,” You tied a scarf around your neck as the two twins stared at you, still not getting the point by the look of their faces, “and I have learned from years of trying to study with you two that you can’t be quiet for more than five minutes, so: I’m going to a more quiet place,” finally, you grabbed your bag. 

Fred frowned a little, then said, “Fair point,” smirking behind his coffee cup. 

“What about breakfast?” George asked, 

“I’ve already eaten, I was up at 7,” You said, causing them both to gawk at you like you’d grown a second head, 

“Okay,” Said Fred, swirling the coffee around in his cup with a frown, looking like he was trying to solve a riddle, “Why?” He then asked, looking up at you, 

“Believe it or not, Freddie, some of us like to get up before noon,” 

“Us meaning you and all the roosters in England, I suppose,” Fred laughed, George joining in, 

Chuckling a little as well, you opened the door, 

“Enjoy your Sunday!” You yelled behind you as you stepped out onto the stairs. 

*** 

Walking down Diagon Alley, you glanced at the storefronts as you passed them by, taking in the fresh winter air. It was a busy scene, which wasn’t unusual, however with Christmas coming, it was even more crowded than usual. You walked for a while, trying to find somewhere that would be quiet enough for you to work out your essay, you’d figured a library at first, but you didn’t feel like walking all that far, you stopped in front of a small café, looking through the windows, something about the warm lights, plants and the various other small trinkets drew you in. 

Stepping inside you sighed quietly as you were taken out of the cold and instead stood in the warm, coffee-filled, air. A woman behind the counter greeted you, then moved on to make someone else’s drink, you eyed the menu hanging on the wall for a bit, then something caught your eye, a small note was stood on the counter, 

“Looking for baristas to work Wednesday-Sunday, 

if interested, please ask after Beatrice.” 

“Can I help you?” The woman behind the counter said, you glanced at her name tag and saw that she was the Beatrice mentioned on the note, 

“Uhm yeah, I’m looking for a job and I was wondering if you’re still hiring?” The words slipped out of your mouth almost automatically, Beatrice’s lips split into a warm smile, 

“Sure, when can you start?” She asked you blinked, 

“Erh, don’t you have to interview me first?” You asked, Beatrice, grinned even wider, “I probably should but truth be told I hate job interviews, too formal,” She explained, “How do you like your coffee?” She asked. You took a moment to think, this was all happening very fast, however, Beatrice had that kind of warm, welcoming energy about her, so you decided to go along with it, 

“Uhm, can you make me a flat white, please?” you said the first thing your eyes saw on the menu, your voice still slightly timid, “Sure thing,” Beatrice said, beginning to scoop some coffee powder into a small cup, you noticed how she didn’t use magic to prepare the coffee, she looked up at you and seemed to notice your slightly questioning look, 

“My mother was a muggle, she owned a coffee shop too,” Beatrice pulled what looked like a small lever, “-and even after she married my dad she swore that coffee tasted better when it was made by hand, even if magic is faster,” She explained, a look of fondness in her brown eyes, “And I have to say that I agree,” She chuckled a little, pouring some milk into the cup and handing it to you, “There you go, now let’s go over there and we can talk a little, not an interview though, just a conversation,” She said, chuckling again at the last bit, you smiled as you followed her to a comfortable corner of the café. 

***

In the shop, the twins were in the very back of their store, having been bored upstairs, so now, they were stacking boxes onto shelves and unboxing others, placing their content onto a small cart, meant for restocking the shelves in the storefront, 

“So,” Fred said, opening a box, 

“So?” George said, stacking a few boxes on Wonder Witch onto the cart, 

“Are you gonna tell her how you feel soon?” Fred asked frankly, George paused, put down the boxes and spun around meeting his brother’s grinning face, “What do you mean?” George said. He knew exactly what Fred meant.  

“C’mon Georgie, you’re not still pretending that you don’t love her, are you?” 

“I never pretended anything,” George said, sulking a little, 

“Oh sure,” Said Fred, a smirk growing on his face as he turned around and opened another box, “And you two never left the yule ball early to snog in the common room either,” He said, the immediate silence from his twin told Fred that he’d struck gold, 

“How do you know about that?” George’s voice asked Fred, who still had his back turned to him, Fred strained not to laugh, 

“I have my sources,” Fred said mysteriously, still stifling a laugh, George went back to the pink boxes, then regretted doing so. He knew damn well that those products were inspired by you, as you’d given them the idea for it at breakfast one morning, he remembered clearly how he and Fred had been exhausted from trying to come up with new ideas, and for the first time in a long time, with little luck, he still remembered how his stomach had done a somersault when your e/c eyes met his and asked, 

“Why don’t you try and make something for girls? like, colour changing mascara or something?” You hadn’t been trying to look pretty when you’d said it, mouth half-full of toast, but to George, you’d looked so gorgeous as you sat there, bathed in the morning light, streaming in through the big windows in the Great hall, he’d had to stop himself from leaning over the table and pressing lips to yours, 

“I don’t think she feels that way about me,” George heard himself say, his eyes still fixed on the boxes, 

“If she didn’t then why did she agree to ditch her actual date to the ball, sneaking off to snog you?” Fred asked, glancing at his brother, who still seemed fixated on the boxes, Fred came to a halt as well and turned to face his brother again, 

“George, I’m pretty sure there’s a reason she came here, and I’m pretty sure that reason revolves around you,” Fred said in an unusually quiet manner, “The worst that can happen is that she says she doesn’t like you in that way, and even then, she’ll still be your friend,” 

“We don’t know that” Said George hopelessly, Fred took a step towards him, 

“We do know that, George, otherwise she wouldn’t be here in the first place,” Fred clasped a hand onto George’s shoulder, “You just have to buck up some courage and grow a pair,” He said, George looked at him, looking a little too beaten down for Fred’s taste, “And then what?” He asked quietly, causing Fred to laugh, “Tell her, mate.” 

***

Exiting the café you felt positively euphoric, Beatrice turned out to be the nicest, calmest and most charming person you could have ever imagined as a boss, during your talk she’d introduced herself as a single mother of a young son, who was starting pre-school soon, hence why she needed some extra hands, who loved everything coffee related, though her secret obsession was baking, she’d laughed when she’d told you how much time she spent watching muggle baking shows, besides owning the shop, she’d always wanted to go on a tour of France, visiting various hotspots for cuisine and wine. When it had been your turn to speak, you’d told her everything, feeling safe in the little nook of the coffee shop amongst pillows, blankets and flowers, she hadn’t spoken when you’d told her about your whole situation with the war and your parents, she’d simply put a warm, soft hand on top of your own as a tear slipped down your face. All in all: She’d proven to be a fantastic person. You were pretty sure, as you turned a corner, heading towards the twins’ shop, that meeting her and getting the job there was the universe trying to make up for the many misfortunes that had hit you in the past half-year. 

Walking into the flat you were met by George, who seemed to be doing some of the accounting work that came with owning the shop, he glanced up at you and gave you smile, 

“How was writing?” He asked as you shrugged off your coat, “Well, not that great, since I didn’t write a resumé at all, however,” You said, walking up to him, “I got a job instead!” You announced, beaming at the redhead who looked at you with raised eyebrows, “Really? that’s amazing!” He said, standing up to hug you, “I know! I start on Tuesday,” You said, wrapping your arms around George. 

There was something different about the way he hugged you, you thought, it was… slower? softer? You couldn’t really name it, but something in the way he held onto you so gingerly compared to the way he used to hug you (which you’d once described as trying to hug a bludger coming at you with full speed, same went for Fred) however he also kept his arms wrapped around you for way longer than he’d ever held onto you, well safe for one time, you blushed as you remembered suddenly all too well how the yule ball had played out for you, the feeling of George’s lips pressed against your own, his hand steadily placed on your waist, the other on your face, softly caressing your cheek with his thumb - It all came to you as he held you, his head resting on top of your own, you felt your cheeks burning. You didn’t say anything. 

What you didn’t know was that George’s mind was also racing, fleeting memories of you smiling at him, quickly touching his hands and arms to get his attention in class, hugging him tightly after winning a quidditch match, the way your hair looked in the sunlight as you came running onto the pitch to congratulate him and, of course, you kissing him in front of the fireplace in the common room, the feeling of your soft lips engulfing him, making him lose all sense of time and space. 

Fred was right, George thought,  all he had to do was tell you.

__ Taglist: @lilcutekittykat​ 

[newyorktheater]

This month’s roundup of some of the latest posts from the few still active theater bloggers offers varying reactions and responses to COVID-19, from practical (Broadway & Me, JK Theater Scene) to newsworthy (Broadway Journal) to star-studded (The Producer’s Perspective) to curmudgeonly (George Hunka) And a couple of bloggers goes on with their work,  almost asl usual (Terry Teachout and Szymkowicz) though there are clear signs even in their work that nothing is usual at the moment. We start with Bitter Gertrude, who has one of the most original responses.

In the post “You’re Not Ok? Glad to Hear It,” on Bitter Gertrude, Melissa Hillman explains why she hasn’t blogged for eight months, detailing a truly horrendous pile-up of personal catastrophes. “That’s not even everything, and this was all before the virus. Today is Day 11 of shelter-in-place with no real end in sight.“ She uses her experience to make a point about how the culture is “awash in “Never Stop,” “No Excuses” propaganda, and I am clearly as susceptible to that as anyone else…Even in the midst of this horrific pandemic, there’s pressure to ACHIEVE….When we refuse to accept our limitations, we prop up an ableist culture that sees any physical, mental, or emotional limitation as a moral failing. …What we need is cultural acceptance of limitations.” So happy to have her back blogging

In Created Unequal, on About Last Night, Terry Teachout excerpts his Wall Street Journalreview of a webcast of the Syracuse Stage’s revival of Peter Shaffer’s Amadeus.

He also writes a thank you note. Over the last few weeks, his blog has been chronicling the health issues, surgery and recovery of his wife, whom he calls Mrs. T’

Adam Szymkowicz interviews his 1084th playwright, David Hanson

Q: Tell me about your short play project.

A: The Short Play Project is a social distance art experiment, in which people are invited to make videos from my short play scripts which I then post on social media.

In “Theater Life in These Uncertain Times” on Broadway & Me, Janice Simpson details some of the many ways theater continues, mostly online, and theater people persist. One big comfort in these uncertain times is knowing that we’re all in this together and that there’s no finer company with whom to see the tough times through than the people who make and love theater

.

In Broadway Journal, Philip Boroff has been covering the effects on the theater community of COVID-19 with a series of breaking news post. His latest: Broadway League Creates Financial Relief Info Sites He also reports on his Zoom interview with another avid blogger, Ken Davenport: A Broadway Maverick Contemplates a Post-Covid Future

Is this the end of the Broadway boom? Oh yeah, it’s going to take a massive bite out of the business. I think the boom is definitely over. The question is, is how quickly it bangs back. And it will, and then some. One day we’ll look back at this like we look back at the dark period of the ’80s, or post-9/11, or the financial crisis in 2008, and say, ‘Can you believe where we are now compared to where we were then?’ And I’m doing everything I can, including getting producers like Kevin McCollum [on April 5] and writers like Jeanine Tesori [April 4] and actors like Jason Alexander [April 13] on my live stream, to make sure they say to every theater maker out there, ‘don’t give up the fight.’

George Hunka offers A Toast to Self Isolating

“Self-quarantine and self-isolation are not new to me; I’ve been self-isolating since 1962, but instead of prudent caution I do it more because I hate people.” He recommends some authors of black humor. This was posted on March 13 before the stay-at-home orders. He followed post-shutin with A Toast to Misanthropy

JK Theatre Scene offers 5 Broadway Things We’ve Done to Pass The Time : 1. Reliving fond memories of Broadway through my Playbill Collection. 2. Dusting off original cast recordings. 3. Seeing Broadway stars in their homes! (online) 4. Recreating the theater experience through video. 5. Theater books!

.

Ken Davenport is using his Producer’s Perspective blog to promote his https://www.theproducersperspective.com/LIVE Producer’s Perspective Live page (which links to his Facebook page) – nightly interviews with celebrated Broadway composers, producers, performers, publicists (no playwrights yet; I guess Adam Szymkowicz is on top of that.)

NewYorkTheater.me, my contribution: Where To Get Your Theater Fix Online, Old Favorites and New Experiments, which I’m trying to keep updated — an impossible task.

NY Theater Blog Roundup: Responding to COVID-19 in unexpected ways This month's roundup of some of the latest posts from the few still active theater bloggers offers varying reactions and responses to COVID-19, from practical (Broadway & Me, JK Theater Scene) to newsworthy (Broadway Journal) to star-studded (The Producer's Perspective) to curmudgeonly (George Hunka) And a couple of bloggers goes on with their work,  almost asl usual (Terry Teachout and Szymkowicz) though there are clear signs even in their work that nothing is usual at the moment.

[sleepykittypaws]

Sweet Mountain Christmas

Original Airdate: October 25, 2019 (Lifetime) Where to Watch?: Lifetime will re-air it in this, and future seasons; It’s also available to purchase on iTunes or to watch, with ads, for a limited time, on mylifetime.com (cable login, required).

Look, I never start watching Christmas movies until November. Like never, ever, because anticipation is a big part of the fun. But…This year, I did. So, here we are. 

Yep, I dove head first into the season on October 26th with Sweet Mountain Christmas. OK Lifetime, you win. I am powerless in the face of promised Megan Hilty singing.

And, honestly, it did not disappoint. Hilty was every bit as charming as expected, and Marcus Rosner’s dimples as deep as ever, even slightly obscured by facial hair. Hilty sang not once, not twice, but four times. Yay, Lifetime! This makes up for last year’s song-less Santa’s Boots. You are now forgiven.

Rosner is not only a snow plow driver, as advertised, but he’s also the town’s mayor. And an architect. Who is organizing the Christmas concert. He does it all! 

Gotta presume that "Winter Storm Megan” is a meta-joke, made by Hilty’s character, but is it also inside insight that Rosner longs to build a mountain dream home? Because his character in last year’s Poinsettias for Christmas had the same goal. Gotta say this was a lovely house, too. Kudos to whomever really owns that place in British Columbia.

Speaking of, at the beginning when they’re in “Malibu,” Hilty’s country star, Laney Blu, talks longingly of looking out her window and, “pretending she sees pine trees instead of palm trees,” and, viewers, her imagination is so darn good that out the window we do, indeed, see pines. Because this was shot near Vancouver, which is relatively short on palm trees.

I appreciate they sprung for the opening Dolly Parton song to set the Tennessee scene, and at least it’s believable when singers and entertainers have a big job they have to get to on Christmas, unlike when the big business deal is set to close on Christmas Eve…Which is never, ever a thing in real life. Kudos to this movie for even making a point about its last-minute big deal “not being official till after New Year’s,” because, yes, that’s how actual business over the holidays works. Though, if you took a drink every time Hilty’s Laney said she needs to “work on my choreography,” you’d have been drunk by the movie’s midway point.

When Laney meets up with her ex-boyfriend/mayor/Mr. Plow and they reminisce about their first date and the embarrassment of him forgetting his wallet, why do they leave out the fact that people would have been more likely to talk about a high school Hilty out with a 4th grader, which Rosner would have been at the time? 

Love that Lifetime lets his leading ladies date younger men, but I’d point out a real-life, 8-year age gap, yet pretending they went to high school together, if the roles were reversed, so would be remiss to ignore it here. 

Not that I minded the coupling. Sure, Rosner’s country accent came and went, but he’s likable enough for it not to matter, and they actually kissed twice in this movie, which on Hallmark would have made this TV-G-rated movie a hard-R.

Hilty and Rosner had good chemistry, and the “Caribbean rhythm" joke was legit funny. And Teryl Rothery, everyone’s favorite Christmas Mom™, is so magical a breakfast baker that she can cook pancakes before she even turns on the stove! This is actually the first of Rothery’s (at least) three holiday movie mom roles this season. She’s a pro, so don’t try making instant pancakes at home. (Just remembered Rothery also played Megan Hilty’s mom in Santa’s Boots, so she’s not just a professional Christmas Mom™, she specializes in Megan Hilty’s Christmas Moms™.)

It’s also clear that, for highly relatable reasons, Lifetime screenwriters don’t understand how private jets work. You don’t have to wait for them to take off later, or the next day. (In fact, having them wait overnight would be even more expensive.) They leave whenever you want. It’s why private jets are AWESOME…Or, so I’ve been told by Oprah.

There’s a few other funny nitpicks, like how when Hilty’s Laney greets her mom’s love interest, George, he’s painting a wall mural, which the actor promptly smeared (oops), then when she’s walking away from him, the (botched) words have vanished. Or, how the props department (c’mon, guys) couldn't find a single card or bill to put in her manager’s wallet/phone case, and the emptiness really stood out as it got a lot of screen time on their aborted ride to the airport. Doh! How about people online posting how the non-Christmas song Hilty’s character sings is, “the best Christmas concert ever”…Really? And it’s on Facebook Live? Not even Instagram? Lifetime really playing to their slightly older demographic there. (Facebook Live, where all the influencers the music industry courts hang out!)

Of course, if people streamed the concert, which they would, why didn’t anyone take a video of a big star singing at a podunk bar and put that on social media? Because, yeah, they for sure would have, and I actually kept waiting for this to be a plot point and blow up the weird Bahamas story. And in what universe is going home for Christmas, wherever home is, is a bad thing for any celeb’s rep? Pretty sure even Marilyn Manson home for the holidays wouldn’t tick off his fans.

But, having said all of that, I really enjoyed this, and even spent some time searching for the closing holiday song sung by Hilty and Kate Issac. Hot tip, there are way more songs called some variation on “Christmas Kiss” than I ever dreamed of, so if anyone knows this particular tune, let me know.

All in all, this is a highly encouraging start to the 2019 season. In fact, it made me feel jolly even with the windows open, the sun shining and jack-o-lanterns on the porch.

Final Judgement: 3 Paws Up (my highest, first-movie-of-the-season rating ever)

[enddaysengine]

Non-Fiction Resources for Chronicles of Darkness by Gameline

June 6th Update: It seems that Tumblr has a limit to how many links you can put in one post. As a result, I’ve moved the resources for Dark Eras, as well as the links organized by topic, to a separate post that you can find at this link. 

*************

Much like I did for Eberron, I’m putting together some links to non-fiction materials you could use for Chronicles of Darkness. Since CofD is set in a dark mirror of our world, there are a lot of materials that could go in this post, but I will try to be selective. While I am keeping Chronicles in mind while I do this, you could use these links for any other RPG that is set on historical Earth (I’m looking at you, Call of Cthulhu!) Some links may show up more than once if they fit in multiple categories.

This post is very much a work in progress and probably will never be complete because of the broad availability of applicable materials. If you know of a resource that you don’t see on my list, please feel free to reblog/reply/DM me to say what the resource is and why it should be included on the list. I’ll do my best to add it in.

General Websites

Crash Course: It’s free, it’s on Youtube, and it’s in a ten-minute episodic format. 

Coursera: Coursera is a website where university level classes are available for free. You can also get certifications from Coursera for a fee so you can build your resume while planning your next chronicle. 

Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History: Dan loves historical “What if?” moments, and with good reason. If you want to hear the most badass historical stories, examine how drugs, alcohol, and human stupidity impacted history, or get a sense of what it was like to live through the most brutal historical eras, this is the place for you.

edX: Another excellent site with free courses that you can upgrade for a certificate. A good place to look for courses in the humanities and religion. 

Great Course/Great Courses Plus: GC and GC+ are not free services, but they have such an extraordinarily high production value that you can understand why. History, science, culinary theory, economics, anything you can think of is covered in the Great Courses catalogue. Great Courses Plus is their streaming service, which at $15/month for an annual subscription is a killer deal.

Google Books/Google Scholar: My first goto for research of any kind, and the first place I advise my students to begin their research. Seriously, I’ve written papers, then had them published just using these two. Use them. 

JSTOR: If you have operated in any kind of academic circle for the last two and a half decades, you know JSTOR. Full access is tough to come by unless you are currently enrolled in a university, but you can still sign up for free to get access to journals on topics you just can’t find anywhere else (like the Mutapa Empire). Sign up with multiple users if you have to. It works. Trust me. 

Open Yale Courses: University classes, taped lectures, and course materials, all from one of the best educational institution in the world. Take advantage of them. 

The Vault: Declassified FBI documents. A lot more of them involve the paranormal than you may expect. An excellent source of inspiration both for things that actually happened or that people think happened. 

Writing with Colour: The best place to go to check yourself for unintentionally problematic depictions of POC in your games. Also a great read if you are looking for details and cultural beats for NPCs you don’t share a background with. They are awesome and you’d be surprised how many chronicle ideas you can get just by binging their archive. 

******************

Mortal Chronicles

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

Maya to Aztec - Ancient Mesoamerica Revealed: Awesome resource if you are planning to run a Skinchangers game using the Aztec Dark Era. 

Medical School for Everyone - Pediatric Grand Rounds: A good place to look for ideas for Innocents 

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Beast the Primordial

General

Ancient Marine Reptiles: Yeah, I know, Beast is supposed to be about dragons and monsters, but I guarantee you that plenty of ancient reptiles are also stalking the Primordial Dream. Plus, aquatic reptiles are awesome and don’t get enough face time with the public, so you might want to think about your next Beast being one. 

Dino 101: The ultimate course about Dinosaurs. Very beastly. 

Early Vertebrate Evolution: What’s so scary about ancient fish, you ask? Only razor jaws and bone for skin. 

Secrets to Sleep Science

Theropod Dinosaurs and the Origins of Birds: At five lessons long, this course is pretty short, and the content matter is fascinating (says the biology teacher).

Dark Eras

African-American History: From Emancipation to the Present

The Civil War and Reconstruction Eras

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Signature Settings

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Mountains 101: If you are going to visit Kathmandu, you better be thinking about how mountains will impact your Chronicle!

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Changeling the Lost

General

Secrets to Sleep Science

Successful Negotiation - Essential Strategies and Skills: A very, very Changeling course. 

Dark Eras

Atlas Historique de Paris: I can’t read French, but I am assured by people who do that this is an excellent resource. 

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

Underground Atlas of Paris

Signature Settings

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Demon the Descent 

General

Bitcoin and Cryptocurrency Technologies

Crash Course Computer Science 

Crash Course Games

Digital Signal Processing

Internet History, Technology, and Security

Inventions That Changed the World

Robotics - Ariel Robotics

Successful Negotiation - Essential Strategies and Skills: Also a very, very Demon course. 

Dark Eras

Living in the French Revolution and the Age of Napoleon

Maya to Aztec - Ancient Mesoamerica Revealed

Ottoman Empire

Signature Settings

Cultural Competence - Aboriginal Sydney

A History of Hitler’s Empire

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Hollywood: History, Industry, Art

Ottoman Empire

World War II - A Military and Social History

Geist the Sin-Eater

General

Death: Seriously, that’s all the course is called. It’s Yale, its good, the name is just to the point. 

Soul Beliefs 1 - Historical Foundations

Soul Beliefs 2 - Belief Systems

Soul Beliefs 3 - How Does It All End?

Dark Eras

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

The Great War

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Indigenous Canada

Signature Settings

The Early Middle Ages (284-1000)

History of the United States 2nd Edition

World War II - A Military and Social History

Hunter the Vigil

General

Introduction to Forensics

Aegis Kai Doru

Archaeology - An Introduction to the World’s Greatest Sites

Introduction to Ancient Greek History

Ahl al-Jabal (Source)

Ismaili Gnosis: Okay, breaking alphabetical order here, but this one is special. If you have a passing familiarity with Islam, you may have had the initial thought that the write-up of Ahl al-Jabal doesn’t look like anything you’ve seen before. That’s because Ahl al-Jabal are Nizari Ismaili Shiites and trust me when I say it is extremely accurate (minus the vampire hunting). Ismaili Gnosis is an excellent source for current events, history, and particularly metaphysics as it applies to Ismailis. 

Assassin Legends: The Assassin State of the Crusades is legendary, but what most people know about them is just that: legend. If you are using the Ahl al-Jabal, either in historical or modern chronicles, let Farhad Daftary bust the myths about the Nizari State for you. This link only gives you a preview on Google Books, so some pages will be missing, but it is still worth a read. 

Ama-San (Source) 

Oceanography- Exploring Earth’s Final Wilderness

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

Ascending Ones

History of Ancient Egypt

Ashwood Abbey

Wine Tasting - Sensory Techniques for Wine Analysis: Are you really part of the Abbey if you aren’t a wine connoisseur? 

Ave Minerva (Source)

The History of Rome Podcast 

Azusa Miko (Source)

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

Barrett Commission (Source)

Crash Course US Government & Politics 

The Bear Lodge (Source) 

Mountains 101

Bijin (Source)

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

The Cainite Heresy (Source)

Gnosticism - From Nag Hammadi to the Gospel of Judas

Lost Christianities 

Cheiron Group

Critical Business Skills for Success

Economic History of the World Since 1400

Division Six (Source)

Crash Course US Government & Politics: Division Six may not actually be a part of the US Government, but they sure think they are, so understanding how they think they fit in isn’t a bad idea. 

The Faithful of Shulpae (Source)

The Ancient Near East - History, Society, and Economy

Habibti Ma  (Source)

The United States and the Middle East - 1914 to 9/11

Hototogisu (Source)

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

The Hunt Club (Source)

Forensic History

Illuminated Brotherhood (Source)

Addiction and the Brain

The Addictive Brain

Drugs and the Brain

Keepers of the Source (Source)

Understanding the Mysteries of Human Behaviour

Keepers of the Weave (Source)

Indigenous Canada 

Knights of Saint Adrian (Source)

Why Evil Exists

Knights of Saint George (Source)

The History of Christianity

Les Mysteres (Source)

Crash Course Mythology 

Cultural Literacy for Religion

Great Mythologies of the World

Les Voyageurs (Source)

Indigenous Canada 

The Long Night

The Apocolypse - Controversies and Meanings in Western History

The History of Christianity

Lost Christianities 

The Loyalists of Thule

A History of Hitler’s Empire

World War II - A Military and Social History

The Lucifuge

Why Evil Exists

Maiden’s Blood Sisterhood (Source)

How to Become a Superstar Student

The Modern Political Tradition

Malleus Maleficarum

The History of Christianity

Lost Christianities 

Why Evil Exists

The Merrick Institute (Source)

Medical School for Everyone - Pediatric Grand Rounds 

Secrets to Sleep Science

Network Zero

Internet History, Technology, and Security

Night Watch (Source)

Why Evil Exists

Null Mysteriis

Animal Behaviour

Introduction to Forensics

Mountains 101 

Otodo (Source)

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History 

Why Evil Exists

The Promethean Brotherhood  (Source)

Decoding the Secrets of Egyptian Hieroglyphs

Greek 101

Latin 101

Miracles of Human Language - An Introduction to Linguistics 

The Story of Human Language

Protectors of the Light (Source)

Indigenous Canada 

The Reckoning (Source)

Heroes and Legends - The Most Influential Characters in Literature

The Scarlet Watch (Source)

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Task Force VALKYRIE

Crash Course US Government & Politics 

History of the United States 2nd Edition

World War II - A Military and Social History

Talbot Group (Source)

Psychological First Aid

The Union

Cities Are Back in Town - Urban Sociology

Utopia Now (Source)

Great Works of Utopian and Dystopian Literature

Vanguard Serial Crimes Unit (Source) 

Introduction to Forensics

The Vault: The FBI’s online archive of popular declassified documents. Lots of weird stuff, and the perfect source of inspiration for VSCU.

Yuri’s Group (Source)

De-Mystifying Mindfullness

Healing with the Arts

How Music Can Change Your Life

Dark Eras

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of Ancient Egypt

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Indigenous Canada

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Signature Settings

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Mage the Awakening

General

Addiction and the Brain: Mage 2e’s theme is “Addicted to Mysteries.” Understanding that addiction is a good place to start. 

The Addictive Brain

Ancient Philosophy - Aristotle & His Successors

Ancient Philosophy - Plato & His Predecessors: If there is one course on philosophy you take for Mage, it should probably be this one. At four lessons, this is a pretty quick one to complete. 

Gnosticism - From Nag Hammadi to the Gospel of Judas

Magic in the Middle Ages

Dark Eras

Great Zimbabwe in Historical Archaeology

History of Ancient Egypt

Introduction to Ancient Greek History

Politics and Long-Distance Trade in the Mwene Mutapa Empire

World War II - A Military and Social History

Signature Settings

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Hollywood: History, Industry, Art

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Mummy the Curse

General

Archaeology - An Introduction to the World’s Greatest Sites: Let’s go find some Relics!

History of Ancient Egypt

Introduction Ancient Egypt and Its Civilisation

Soul Beliefs 1 - Historical Foundations

Soul Beliefs 2 - Belief Systems

Soul Beliefs 3 - How Does It All End?

Dark Eras

The Early Middle Ages (284-1000)

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

The Great War

Great Zimbabwe in Historical Archaeology

Ottoman Empire

Politics and Long-Distance Trade in the Mwene Mutapa Empire

Signature Settings

The American Revolution

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Promethean the Created

General

Introduction to the Biology of Cancer

Understanding Cancer Metastasis

Dark Eras

African-American History: From Emancipation to the Present

Epidemics in Western Society since 1600

Signature Settings

Antarctica: From Geology to Human History

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

National Geographic Polar Explorations: Follow the steps of Doctor Frankenstein. 

World War II - A Military and Social History

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

Werewolf the Forsaken

General

Animal Behaviour

Dark Eras

African-American History: From Emancipation to the Present

The Ancient Near East - History, Society, and Economy

Cybele: The Great Mother of the Augustan Order

The Great War

Hardcore History - Punic Nightmares

The Early Middle Ages (284-1000)

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Signature Settings

The Civil War and Reconstruction Eras

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Mountains 101: An awesome course in general, but especially useful for Werewolf’s signature setting, the Colorado Rockies. 

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

War for the Greater Middle East

Vampire the Requiem

General

Clans

Animal Behaviour

History of Ancient Egypt

Introduction Ancient Egypt and Its Civilisation

Carthian Movement

Circle of the Crone

Magic in the Middle Ages

Invictus

Lancea et Sanctum

Magic in the Middle Ages

Ordo Dracul

Ottoman Empire

Dark Eras

African-American History: From Emancipation to the Present

The Civil War and Reconstruction Eras

The Early Middle Ages (284-1000)

Epidemics in Western Society since 1600

The Great War

Living in the French Revolution and the Age of Napoleon

Ottoman Empire

Digital Tour of Tutor London

Signature Settings

Foundations of Eastern Civilization

History of the United States 2nd Edition

Introduction to Ancient Greek History

Understanding Japan - A Cultural History

[puns-and-fics-has-moved]

Meant to Be - Part Two: Hey

All Parts

Pairing: jamilton (Hamilton x Jefferson)

Request: Soulmate AU – When soulmates draw on themselves, it appears on the other’s skin as well. (Also Modern High School AU)

Tagging: @elenarte @empyrealsakaki @gum-and-chips @karenthepoop @hammytrashy @falling-open @bestfluteninja @urstupidmom @olympun @rebel-with-cause @mishaisakitten @depressionjoke @gemilton @ur-friendly-neighborhood-fangirl

Word Count: 1912

Warnings: swearing, anxiety, allusions to suicide

A/N: OKAY Y’ALL, first off: thank you so much for all the amazing love and support you’ve given this fic already! it means so much to me and i am so truly grateful for all of you. second: I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and I’ll keep trying to put one out every other day! 

that’s all, enjoy  <3

Alex

Alex

Alex

Alexander glared at the writing on his arm, feeling his anger building as he walked back home in a blind rage. He bounded up the stairs to his apartment, trying to ignore the writing that was covering his arm.

Please talk to me

I’m sorry

Please

Alex

Alex

Alex

He burst into his apartment and found that, thankfully, George wasn’t home. He ran to the bathroom and turned on the tap. He made sure the water was all but scalding, and thrust his arm under the stream. He pumped soap out into his hands and scrubbed with vigour. He relished in the sight of the water turning black and running down into the pristine porcelain sink. He felt an angry grip around his heart when Jefferson continued to write even as his words disappeared.

Alex roughly turned the faucet off and fell to the floor in frustration. He whipped his pen out of his backpack and wrote very clearly, in large letters, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

Thomas’ frantic writing stopped and Alex breathed a sigh of relief. He stood up again and scrubbed the remainder of the writing off his arm. By the time it was off, his skin was tender and red, with only the faintest traces of writing. Alex dragged himself to his bedroom and collapsed on his bed, curling up over top of his blankets and letting the sobs rack his body.

He couldn’t believe that T – his ­T – was Thomas Jefferson. Thomas had made Alexander’s life a living hell; had caused so many panic attacks, so much pain… he had driven him to a point of desperation and self-loathing that no one but his father knew about. T had brought him out of that sadness. Alexander was hit with the irony of it all, and he chuckled darkly to himself through his tears. This boy had given Alex his highest highs and his lowest lows… who was he really?

Alex was startled out of his reverie when he heard the front door open, but then he felt relief wash over him. George was home.

“Alex? Are you home?” he heard his adoptive father call through their small apartment.

“Yeah,” he called back quietly, his voice raw from crying. A moment later there was soft knock on the door. “Come in,” he said, sitting up in bed.

George entered and immediately crossed the room to join his son on the bed. “What happened?” he asked, giving him a serious look.

“I…” he didn’t even know where to begin. He had never told his father about how much he’d been bullied by Jefferson and his crew. He’d only told George that they disliked one another. Should he even go into it? He was about to lie, when his father took note of his rubbed-raw arm.

“You didn’t talk to T today?” he asked with concern in his eyes. He had never seen his son’s arm blank before.

Before Alex could stop himself, there were tears pouring down his face, and he was gasping for breath. Bewildered, George gathered his son into a hug, stroking his long hair gently.

“What happened, son?” he asked once Alexander’s gasping had slowed.

“I met T,” Alexander sobbed.

“You met… Who are they?” George asked, his eyes going wide.

“Thomas Jefferson,” Alexander replied quietly.

“It’s Thomas? Don’t you two not get along?”

A hysterical giggle gurgled out of Alex’s mouth, and before he could stop himself, he was doubled over, a sick laughter rattling him.

“Dad… it’s so much worse than that,” he said once his laughter had subsided. “He’s – uh… he’s sort of the reason why… last year…”

Realization dawned on George and he pulled his son into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Alex,” he whispered, pulling him into another hug.

“He’s made my life hell since I started high school.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” George asked, his words coated in concern.

“I didn’t know how, dad…” Alexander trailed off, and George rubbed his back soothingly.

“I know it’s hard to think like this, Alex, but you have to remember… Thomas was also the one that helped you through all of that.”

The next morning, Alexander had to drag himself out of bed. He stayed in the shower for as long as he possibly could, just letting the hot water wash over him and erase the events of the day before. But the angry thoughts kept coming back to him, more scalding than the water that was reddening his skin.

He exited the steamy shower stall when he began to get lightheaded. He was slow to get dressed and to brush his hair and teeth. When he finally wandered out into the main part of his apartment, it was to find his father sitting at the kitchen table with breakfast and tea ready for his son. Alex couldn’t help but smile at George’s thoughtfulness.

He took a seat at the table and his dad glanced up from his newspaper.

“How did you sleep?” he asked, thankfully not addressing the fact that his son was certainly going to be at least an hour late for school, and, even better, not addressing the distressing events of the day before.

Alexander shrugged and began to eat his breakfast. “Thanks for the food, dad, but you should know by now that tea won’t get me through the day.”

“Fine. Give me your tea, there’s coffee in the pot.”

“Thanks.”

“So… are you going to school today?” his father asked casually as Alexander poured himself a mug of hot coffee.

“Um…” Alex hummed with uncertainty.

“It’s okay with me if you don’t want to go. I understand,” George said in a rush, not wanting to pressure his son one way or another.

“No, I’d like to go,” Alexander said, sipping his coffee. “I want to see my friends.”

“Do they…?”

“No,” Alex answered shortly, taking another sip of his coffee. He’d had his phone turned off since school the day before, and he could hardly imagine the reaction his friends would have to the news about Thomas. That is, if they cared at all… Alex tried to shake the negative thoughts from his mind as he sat back down at the table.

“Okay, well, if you need to come home today… I understand,” George said, patting his son reassuringly on the arm.

“Thanks, dad,” Alexander replied. George’s face lit up slightly at being called “dad.” It was a fairly recent development, Alexander having let it slip a few months prior, and then apologising profusely. George had just wrapped him in a hug and told him he would be proud to call himself Alex’s father. While he was happy about it, it still took some getting used to.

They finished up their breakfast in silence, and Alexander left for school, walking slowly. He was too late for first period, but he would easily be able to make it for second. When he arrived, he walked straight to his French class and sat down in the hall, waiting for the bell to signify the period change.

Once it did, he went straight to the back of the class and sunk as low as he could in his seat. He managed to suffer through French class in silence, aching for the familiar doodle-conversations with T. Tears burned his eyes as he thought about all that had happened. What would he do if he saw Thomas today? He shuddered at the thought and buried his head in his hands.

After what seemed like an eon, the bell signaled the end of class. Head ducked, Alex made his way through the crowd to the doors leading out to the yard. He looked up once he was outside and felt himself smile at the sight of his friends all gathered around their usual picnic bench.

“Alex!” Lafayette cried, and bounded across the yard to scoop his friend into a tight hug. “Qu’est-ce qui c’est passé? Où es-tu venu hier?”**

“I went home, Laf… I’ll explain everything.” Laf put his arm around the smaller boy and led him back to the table.

Once they were there, John hugged him quickly and Herc cuffed him on the head, saying, “You scared the shit out of me! What the fuck happened?”

“I met T,” he began simply, as he’d done with his father. After their gasps of curiosity, Alex told them the rest of what had happened. Thankfully, he managed to refrain from crying, but reliving the events of the day before again was utterly exhausting. He looked up at his friends once he had finished, unsure of what their reaction would be.

John looked livid, his eyes bright with rage. Lafayette had sympathetic tears in his eyes. Hercules looked pensive, but his eyes were angry.

“I wonder what the fuck is going on in his brain,” Hercules said after a long silence.

They were all taken aback by this. Alex was suddenly reminded of his father’s words; Thomas was the one who helped him through everything. But he also caused it.

Alex looked across the yard at the place where Jefferson’s crew usually ate their lunch. Everyone was there except for Thomas. James Madison looked over and caught Alex’s eye. His expression was unreadable, but he gave a stiff nod and looked away. How much did he know? Alex wondered.

“I don’t give a fuck what he’s thinking, Herc,” John said after they’d all let his words sink in. “After all the shit he put Alex through? He doesn’t deserve our empathy.”

“I never said he did,” Herc retorted brusquely.

“I think he does,” Laf said gently. “He is Alexander’s soulmate. Think how terrible he must feel that all the times ‘A’ needed him, he had been the reason… Think how awful it must be to realize that you have completely ruined your soulmate every day for the past two years.”

“I’m not ruined,” Alex said in a stab of hot anger. “He hasn’t ruined me.”

“Alex – that is not what I meant…” Laf stumbled, regretting his words.

Alexander stood up, rage still coursing through him. He knew he wasn’t mad at Laf, but he definitely needed to get away from him; from all of them.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Alexander said, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and stalking away in a huff.

He felt his anger cool as he walked home, immediately feeling the usual anxious guilt from having yelled at his friends. Why were they even friends with him? He was so shitty towards them all the time…

“Shut up,” Alex growled to himself under his breath, angrily trying to remove the negative thoughts from his mind. He realized that normally, at times like this, he would try to talk to T. He would ask for pretty doodles or just words of comfort. Tears stung his eyes as he realized he had lost T. Now it was Thomas.

They’re the same person, said a voice in his head; a voice that sounded suspiciously like his father. But were they, though? How could T be the same person as Thomas?

With a sigh of defeat, Alexander realized he needed answers. And there was only one way to do that….

Entering his apartment, Alexander went straight to his room to grab a pen. With a heavy sigh, his heart pounding, Alex sat down on his bed, and poised the pen onto the tender skin of his wrist.

Hey.

**  Translation: What happened? Where did you go yesterday?

[hellacluttered]

Dawn (Goodnight Robicheaux)

A/N: All right, here’s the sequel to One Thousand Miles :D this has been kind of a pet project for me and I’m thinking about doing a part 3 and bringing in Billy and stuff. We shall see :) I’ll be posting this on AO3 tomorrow, if you prefer to read on there. My username there is also hellacluttered. Also this is about what Goody would have looked like at the age he is in this. :)

    “Where should we live?” Goodnight asked as he lay with his head in his wife's lap in front of the fire in the library as they so often did. The heat seeped straight through his still-weary limbs to his bones and he was utterly limp and content.

    “Hmm… New Orleans?” she asked and he rolled onto his back to look up at her.  

    “New Orleans?” he repeated. “That's my home, not yours.”

    “Those are the same thing now. I’ll go if you want to.”

    He smiled. “You're too generous, you know that?”

    “You're one to talk,” she teased, running her fingers gently through his newly-cut short hair.

    “We could stay here, live downtown.”

    “You'd do that?” she asked, a tender expression in her eyes.

    “Of course,” he said. “I don't mind where I am, so long as it's with you.”

    She smiled and he sighed contentedly, closing his eyes. He still had not readjusted to the comfy, relaxed life at the Cox manor, or the lack of a schedule dictating every moment of the day. With no strict regimentation keeping him distracted, his thoughts wandered far more freely, and he knew it was only Eliza’s company and patient comforting keeping him sane, and even that, just barely. He woke up in cold sweats in the night sometimes of his own accord and sometimes by Eliza’s hand, panicked and tangled in the sheets, and on nights like that he rarely slept again, only pretending to so Eliza would go back to sleep.

    “Let’s figure it out later,” Eliza said finally, “You need to get some sleep; I know you didn’t get much last night, Goody.”

    “I’ve gone much longer on much less sleep,” he said. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me, my dear.”

    “I can’t help that, but I’ll try,” she said.

    A shot rang out somewhere in the distance, a hunter, and Goodnight stiffened, images sliding behind his eyes in increasingly rapider succession, every one unique but a single thread unifying them into a horrifying art display- death. Eliza’s hand squeezed his, her gentle voice breaking through the haze of his thoughts like a sunbeam through fog, but her comforting words couldn’t dispel the terror in his head. “Eliza?” he said, his voice coming out quiet and rough.

    “Yes?”

    “I need a drink,” he said, sitting up. “I’m sorry. I’ll be back later.”

    “All right,” she said, standing likewise and kissing his cheek, her gaze filled with sympathy. “I’m sorry, Goody.”

    “Nothing for you to apologize for, mon chéri,” he said, managing to force a smile. “I’ll be back soon.”

    He urged the horse to a gallop, her flanks heaving against his legs, the metal in her tack clinking as they bolted down the road toward town. Riding brought back its own host of memories, but still, riding fast helped leave a few behind. He slowed as he reached the edge of town. For now, it felt that the dams in his mind had been strengthened enough to hold until alcohol weakened the onslaught they held back; he wondered if he would ever cease to need them, if the threat of a flood would ever lastingly diminish.

   He dismounted when he reached the saloon, tying his horse up outside, and walked in, pleased to find it rather empty. The more people there were, the higher chance there was of war stories being recounted, and if those came up, Goodnight would leave.

   “‘Evening, Mr. Robicheaux,” the bartender said as he sat down on one of the barstools.

   “‘Evening, Jim,” he replied wearily.

   “Your usual?”

    “Yes, sir,”

    “Coming right up.”

    Goodnight could feel the pressure of eyes on him from behind, sensed the tingling sensation along his spine, his shoulder blades trying to pull together, but he was too tired and distracted to bother to see who it was.

    “Here you are, sir,” Jim said, sliding him a small glass of brandy.

    Goodnight nodded in thanks and raised the glass to his lips. The large draught of alcohol went down like fire, scalding his throat and heating his insides in a crippled imitation of how Goodnight had felt around Eliza before he broke, still a ghost even of how he felt now. She looked at him differently now, he knew that much. He didn’t like her to pity him.

    He took another sip from his glass, checking his pocket to make sure he had enough money on him to afford a refill. He did, and soon he was ready for it.

    The alcohol blurred the harsh edges of his worries, softening them a little as they cut into his hopes, dulled the wriggling, creeping feeling of paranoia that always hovered at the edges of his senses, never truly letting him believe he was safe. He drank until the pictures that flashed through his mind no longer came into focus, and then he stood, paid, and left, reeling slightly as he went out the door.

    “Goodnight Robicheaux,” a voice called behind him, the distinct Northern accent sounding his name out in hard angles rather than the soft curves Goodnight spoke it with.

    He stopped and turned, leaning casually against one of the posts supporting the porch, ready to go for his gun if necessary. Three men had just emerged from the saloon. He recognized them from a table in the corner, where they had been quietly drinking, as he recalled. All three were strapping, brawny, tall men, all armed, and none seeming friendly. “That’s my name,” Goodnight said. “What can I for you gents?”

    “You killed a friend of ours,” the man in front said. “We’re here for retribution.”

    “Fellows like you killed a lot of friends of mine,” Goodnight said. “I think we should call it even. Anyhow, your side won.”

    “Yeah, well, it seems that’s not enough to put cocky scum like you in their place.” The man stepped forward and that was it; already on edge, Goodnight drew, the muzzle of his revolver aimed at the man’s chest.

    “Now, you consider very carefully what you want to do next,” Goodnight said. “The sheriff here knows me; he’s gonna believe me if I tell him I shot you boys in self-defense, and he’s gonna believe me if I tell him you made the first move.”

    “Not if you don’t make it to speaking to him,” the man said, and then he charged. He was only a few feet away, and Goodnight’s mind was clouded from the brandy, his hands moving slower than usual; he had forgotten to cock his gun and by the time he unsuccessfully fired and then cocked his weapon, the man was slamming into him with the force of a locomotive, knocking him straight off the porch and down the steps, where he landed, stunned, on the hard dirt street, pinned down by his bear-like adversary, his revolver skittering through the dust and landing out of reach.

    “You think no one was gonna care that you were picking off our men from some hidey-hole where no one could get to you?” the man snarled, his face inches from Goodnight’s. He easily pinned down the smaller man’s arms, digging a knee into Goodnight’s stomach until he coughed, gasping for air, his struggles to escape growing weaker. “Thought they were just pawns, not men, didn’t you, you bastard?” He drew back a fist, driving it into the side of Goodnight’s jaw with such force he heard the joint pop and his whole head throbbed, thrown to the side.

   “George Winthrope,” the man said almost reverently, throwing another punch to Goodnight’s nose. The crack rang out and instantly Goodnight felt the hot stream of blood streaming down his upper lip, the acrid, metallic taste of blood filling his mouth as a dull throbbing ache radiated out from the site of the blow. The man lifted him by the shoulders and slammed him back down in the dirt. His face blurred in and out of focus above Goodnight but his words were unmistakeable. “He was my like my brother, you coward! You shot him! He was seventeen, he was a private, he wasn’t gonna get much done in that damn war!” His words had risen to a shout, their impact much more painful that the blows that came with every accent in his tone.

    “I’m sorry,” Goodnight slurred through the fog in his mind and the blood pooling in his mouth. He coughed weakly, repeating a little louder. “I’m sorry.”

    “Sorry doesn’t bring him back!” the man bellowed, raising his fist again.

    “Neither will your going to jail,” another voice said, calm and steady, demanding attention.

    The man looked back, as did his friends, but Goodnight could not find the strength even to lift his head. “War’s over, boys,” the same voice continued. “This ain’t in your hands anymore.”

    “He killed-” the man on Goody started.

    “I heard,” the voice said.

    “You don’t understand-”

    “You might be surprised. Now git.” No one moved. A shift of leather, a metallic click, a cocked pistol. “I said git.”

    The weight moved off Goodnight; the vague blur of the face over him was replaced by the night sky. Three sets of heavy footsteps moved away, and one set approached. “You all right there?”

    “I… I think so,” Goodnight said, pushing himself into a sitting position and wincing as his light head pounded. A hand reached out to him, and he looked up, startled.

    The man nodded at his outstretched hand. “Take it. Get up.”

    Goodnight grabbed the man’s hand, letting himself be pulled to his feet. He stumbled, almost collapsing again before the other man steadied him with one hand on his upper arm. “Who are you?” Goodnight asked.

    “Name’s Sam Chisolm. I'm a duly sworn warrant officer. You are?”

    “Goodnight Robicheaux,” Goodnight said, missing the look of recognition on Sam’s face as he turned to the side to spit out some of the mess of blood still turning his mouth bitter. “Why… why'd you help me?”

    He looked up, his blue eyes meeting Sam’s dark ones. “The war’s over,” Sam said simply.

    “But I had it coming,” Goodnight protested.

    “You did,” Sam said. “Doesn't mean vigilantes should serve justice. All of us killed someone's friend; doesn't give us the right to break the law. Peace has been made. Break that, and you get what’s coming to you. There was no call for them to start things.”

    Goodnight nodded slowly. “Makes sense.”

    “You live around here?” Sam asked.

    “Just a mile outside town,” Goodnight replied.

    “All right then,” Sam said. “Let's go.”

    “Why?” Goodnight asked. “I mean, why are you going with me?”

    “I'm not confident you can stay on your horse by yourself,” Sam said and Goodnight looked away, embarrassed. He knew just as much as Sam did that it was true.

    “Well, do you need a place to stay?” Goodnight asked. “I owe you one.”

    Sam shrugged. “All right.”

    Goodnight knew he was late getting home, especially since the ride back had taken so long, and contrary to the usual, there were lights on in the windows as they rode up the road to the house. Goodnight almost fell out of the saddle as he started to dismount outside the stable, but managed to land with some rough semblance of grace, which was, however, still clumsy in comparison to Sam’s easy dismount.

    Goodnight was just taking off his horse’s saddle when he heard the stable door open and turned to see Eliza enter in in bare feet and a nightdress, her lips dropping open when she saw her husband’s condition. “Goody!” she cried, crossing the stable in quick steps, walking straight past Sam to stop in front of Goodnight, her eyes skimming over his numerous wounds. “What happened?”

    “I… Some men confronted me; I had- I had killed one man’s friend in the War and they came after me. Mr. Chisolm here likely saved my life.”

   Emma turned to Sam, saying curtly, “Thank you, Mr. Chisolm. If you’ll follow me, I’ll have one of the maids get you to a room; I need to take care of my husband.”

    “Of course, Mrs. Robicheaux,” Sam said courteously.

    Eliza wrapped an arm around Goodnight’s waist and he leaned against her, letting her support him as they walked out of the stable, Sam close behind.

    “Thanks again, Mr. Chisolm,” Goodnight said as they entered the house and Eliza summoned a maid to take Sam to a room.

    “Call me Sam,” Sam said. “And you’re welcome.”

    “How much pain are you in?” Eliza asked as she and Goodnight slowly ascended the stairs.

    “Not a whole lot,” he said. “I drank and I’m not feeling all too acutely right now.”

    “That’s for the best,” she said. “Your nose, well…”

    “It’s broken, I know,” he replied.

    “This must have been brutal, eh?” she asked sympathetically, patting the edge of the bed and he sat down as she lit a lamp.

    “It wasn’t too good,” he admitted.

    She nodded, and he could tell by the stiffness in her shoulders and the tenseness in her movements how worried she was. “I won’t go back there for now,” he offered, hoping his words would relax her somewhat.

    “Honestly, this is the least of my concerns about you right now,” she said, and he cocked his head slightly, confused. “I hate to see you hurt, and I know you’re in pain. But your body will heal, and I can help it do so. But I know the worst of it is in your head and there’s nothing I can do to help with that.” Her eyes met his briefly before returning to focusing on unbuttoning his shirt. She eased off his shirt and vest at the same time, wincing when she saw the dark bruises blooming across his torso.

    “I’ll be fine,” he said. “I can handle it; it’s not something you need to worry about. You just focus on keeping yourself and the baby healthy.”

    “I can’t help worrying about it,” she said. “All right, the stuff on your torso isn’t too big a deal unless…” She gently felt around his ribs. “None of that hurts too bad?”

    He shook his head.

    “Okay, good. I’m going to set your nose then. It doesn’t look too crooked so I don’t think this will be terrible. Are you ready?”

    Goodnight nodded, and Eliza gently pinched the bones of his nose between two fingers, pushing them back into position. He grimaced, his jaw clenching as blinding white pain shot through his face, the sound of the bones grinding reverberating through his skull. When she let go his eyes were watering and he blinked rapidly, giving her a tired smile. “Thanks.”     “You’re welcome,” she said. “Don’t bump that; the bones need to stay in place. I’m not done with you; let me get some clean water and rags.”

    He nodded, leaning back against the headboard a little as she walked out of the room.

    When she returned he was fast asleep, his head lolling back and his mouth hanging open slightly, peaceful and vulnerable, all the worries ironed out of his expression in the early, dreamless stages of his sleep. She sat down on the edge of the bed, dipping a clean rag in the basin of water she’d set on the nightstand, and got to work cleaning the cuts and scrapes on his face. He mumbled something in his sleep, his head tipping to one side, and Eliza reached up to stop him from waking himself up, gently guiding his head back upright until it steadied.

    He didn’t rouse as she cleansed the cuts and scrapes, and that was an indication of how truly exhausted he was; usually he was a light sleeper, awoken by the lightest touch or noise, and now she was prodding around what had to be quite painful wounds and he wasn’t stirring in the slightest.

    When she was finally content that all the scrapes were clean and no serious damage had been done, she set aside the rag she had been using and sat there for a moment, a sudden rush of tears welling up in her eyes. Helpless, that was what she was, powerless to pull him out of the pit he was sliding into, unable to do anything but watch as the light of youth and hope in his bright eyes slowly dulled. Even as she watched the peace began to slip away from him, his brows drawing together, his lips twitching, forming silent words.

    Eliza slipped forward, wrapping her arms tightly around him, one hand on the back of his neck guiding his head to rest on her shoulder. “Just sleep, Goody,” she murmured. “Sleep.”

    “Eliza?” his voice was weak, uncertain.

    “It’s me,” she reassured him and he just nodded slowly, his arms wrapping around her waist.

    “I don’t want to dream tonight,” he said softly. “Don’t let me sleep, Eliza.”

    She just nodded, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears that were beginning to overflow. They’d been sitting like that for a few minutes when she felt his breathing settle into a regular rhythm, deep and even, and she shook him gently. “Goody.” He jerked slightly, sitting up straighter, kneading his tired eye with the heels of his hands. “I’ll go make some coffee,” she said, standing.

    “You should go to bed,” he said. “I’m sorry… I-I’ll be fine.”

    She shook her head. “No.”

    Dawn rose dewy and gray, the pale beams of sunlight finding the Robicheauxs huddled on the top step of the porch with a blanket wrapped around them, each with a mug in hand, and an empty coffee pot sitting on the step next to Goodnight’s feet. Goodnight was far past the point of sleepiness, instead a profound exhaustion had nested deep inside him, coiled around his cells, untouchable.

    But when Eliza kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder, his smile was genuine, and when he took her hand in his, the warmth of her familiar fingers and the relief of the dreamless night pushing back the tide a little more.

    “Shall we go eat something?” he asked, and she nodded, stretching as she stood up.

    Goodnight just looked up at her, watching the way the sunlight made her hair gleam as it streamed in untamed cascades down her back. “What?” she asked.

    “You could have had any man you wanted, you know,” he said. “You’re kind, you’re thoughtful, funny, smart, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. I could go on. I never really understood why you chose me.”

    She reached out her hands and he stood, setting his coffee cup on the porch railing, and took her hands in his own.

    “That one’s easy to answer.”

    “Oh?” He squinted slightly, looking out from under his brows as the rising sun glared in his eyes.

    She nodded. “Sure is.”

    He loosely wrapped his arms around her waist, turning them away from the sun slightly. “Do me a favor and enlighten me.”

    “It’s because I love you,” she said, reaching up to cup his cheek with her hand, her pinky resting along the line of his jaw and her thumb stroking back and forth beneath his eye. He turned his head slightly and kissed the palm of her hand, murmuring against her skin,

    “I promise you the man you married is still in here somewhere.”

    “The man I married is right in front of me,” she said firmly and his lips tugged upward of their own accord, his arms pulling her a little closer. “Got that?”

    He nodded, a chuckle escaping him before he lightly pecked her lips. “Yes, ma’am.”

    “Ready to eat?” she asked.

    “Yep.”

    Just as they turned to go inside, the front door swung open, and one of the maids stepped out, a tray of food in her hands, with Sam behind her. “Oh, good morning, Miss Eliza, Mr. Robicheaux,” she said, bobbing a curtsey. “Mr. Chisolm asked to eat outside, so… I’m sorry to interrupt.”

    “You didn’t,” Goodnight said, giving Eliza’s hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it. “Good morning, Mr. Chisolm.”

    “Morning,” Sam said. “Thank you for letting me sleep here. I’ll consider us even, Mr. Robicheaux.”

    “Please call me Goodnight,” Goodnight said.

    “Then make sure you call me Sam.”

    “I can do that,” Goodnight replied.

    “I’ll be back in a few minutes, Goody; I’m going to freshen up,” Eliza said, and he nodded, his gaze lingering fondly on her for a moment as she disappeared inside the house before looking back to Sam.

    “Did you fight in the War?” Goodnight asked as the two men sat down on the pair of rocking chairs that faced out toward the road.     “I did,” Sam said. “Opposite side as you, though.”

    “I figured,” Goodnight said.

    “How long were you in?” Sam asked.

    “The whole damn thing,” Goodnight replied, shaking his head. “Not a single good thing out of it except meeting my wife. And you?”

    “Same as you- start to finish,” Sam said. “I wanted to see it through as long as I could.” He took a bite of the bacon on his plate and Goodnight didn’t speak for a few moments, watching a robin swoop low over the grass.

    “Where are you from?” he asked finally.

    “Lincoln, Kansas,” Sam said. “And yourself?”

    “New Orleans, born and raised.”

    “Then how’d you end up here?” Sam asked.

    “My company stayed the winter in ‘61. I married Eliza during the War, and we’ve been here since it ended. How about you, you got a family?”

    Sam shook his head. “Haven’t been in the same place long since a long time ago.”

    Goodnight nodded. “Someone chasing you?”

    Sam looked at him keenly. “Not quite.” He took a sip from his cup of coffee, but Goodnight didn’t look away for a few seconds, considering the man’s words. “You were running from something yourself last night,” Sam commented.

    Goodnight nodded slowly. “I was.”

    “Did you escape?”

    “It’s hard to escape yourself,” Goodnight said. “Seems only death achieves that, and I’ve been running from that too.”

    “I don’t know a single man who lived through that war and came out quite whole,” Sam said.

    “Did you?” Goodnight asked.

    “I wasn’t in the first place,” Sam replied. His gaze was contemplative as it rested on the worn floorboards of the porch.

    No family… Goodnight couldn’t piece together the story yet, but he could begin to connect the details. This man knew loss all too well. “And you’re a bounty hunter?”

    “Warrant officer,” Sam said. “And you?”

    Goodnight chuckled. “No employment at the moment. Just taking some time with my family. Eliza’s going to have a baby and I’m…” He shook his head. “Like you said. I came back in one piece physically, but my mind…” He trailed off.

    “I got lucky in that respect,” Sam said. “But I know people. I’ve seen things.”

    Goodnight nodded grimly. “Haven’t we all?” He slumped in his seat a little, putting his feet up on the porch railing.

    “Some more than others,” Sam said. “I heard you fought at Antietam.”

    “You heard that, eh?” he asked, surprised, and then added playfully, “I see my reputation proceeds me.”

    “You haven’t been out much, have you, then?” Sam said. “You’re a bit of a legend, least in these parts.”

    “Really?” Goodnight said incredulously. “For what?”

    “Fearless leader. Inspiration to your men. Crack shot. I’ve heard you called the Angel of Death.”

    Goodnight’s smile faded at the final title. “That last one…”

    “Title you deserved, not one you wanted?” Sam asked.

    Goodnight considered his words for a few moments and then nodded. “The way I see it, I was doing my duty. I’d rather be remembered for that than what it was I did.”

    “Duty is a heavy thing,” Sam remarked.

    “Ain’t that the truth,” Goodnight said. Since the war ended, he hadn’t talked to anyone about his time as a soldier, and while talking to Sam pulled the familiar regrets and pains back to the surface of his already muddied thoughts, it also felt like pressure was slowly starting to be released, the tremendous buildup of unexplainable horrors that he had observed and that no one at the Cox manor could have understood lessening just slightly. Sam made him feel a little less alone, a little less alien. A hand to hold in the dark was better than to be alone with it, even if the sun still refused to rise.

    It was then that the door opened and Eliza walked out, a tray in each hand, handing one to Goodnight, who thanked her, before sitting down on the porch swing next to her husband. “Did I interrupt?” she asked into the silence and Goodnight said quickly,

    “Not at all.”

    “The subject needed changing anyway,” Sam added.

    Eliza nodded, her gaze moving to Goodnight, who gave her a small smile that eased her newfound concern about whatever they had been talking about until she came out. “How long are you in town for?” she asked Sam, more in an attempt to make conversation than because of actual interest in the answer.

    “I’ll be leaving today,” he said. “I came out here serving a warrant, but I took care of that yesterday.”

    “You’re welcome to stay longer if you like, Mr. Chisolm,” Eliza offered and Goodnight nodded in agreement.

    “Thank you for that, Mrs. Robicheaux,” Sam said. “I’d better be going soon though. There’s always more criminals to catch.”

    Eliza nodded and Goodnight said, “If you’re ever in the area, though…”

    “I’ll stop by,” Sam said, and took the last bite of his toast before standing, dusting the crumbs off his pants as he looked for a place to set his tray.

    “Table’s fine,” Goodnight said as he stood likewise, setting down his own breakfast. “I can have someone get your horse ready.”

    “I prefer to do it myself,” Sam said. “But thank you.”

    “Thank you, Mr. Chisolm,” Eliza, who had stood as well, said. “We owe you.”

    “Not a bit,” Sam said. “I got a place to sleep out of the deal, and, I think,” His eyes shifted to Goodnight, “a friend.” He then tipped his hat respectfully to Eliza. “Mrs. Robicheaux.”

    “Safe travels,” she said and he nodded in thanks before turning to Goodnight.

    “I’ll go back to the stable with you,” Goodnight said, and he and Sam descended the steps side by side, following the path that led around the side of the house to the stable. “What are you onto next?” Goodnight asked as Sam began to prepare his horse.

    “Missouri,” Sam said. “Got another warrant to serve there on an outlaw from Texas. Are you looking for a job, Goodnight?”

    Goodnight frowned slightly, surprised by the question. “I suppose after the baby is born, yes, I will be.”

    “You might want to consider this line of work. It pays well, and you get a lot of freedom. I have a hard time envisioning a man such as yourself working at a trade,” Sam said.

    “As do I,” Goodnight acknowledged. “Well, I’ll think about it. I don’t know if…” He trailed off. He didn’t need to say it.

    “I understand,” Sam said, his eyes meeting Goodnight’s for a moment before he returned to the task of saddling his horse. They didn’t talk again until the creature was in full tack and Sam walked it out of the stable, into the still, damp morning, the heat of the rising sun promising a scorching afternoon. Sam mounted, tipping the brim of his hat down a little to shield his eyes, and looked away, a contemplative expression on his face before turning back to Goodnight. “All of us that made it through our own Hell need rebuilding just as much as the country does, he said finally. “But what we lost in the fire, we’ll find in the ashes.” Then he tipped his hat and spurred his horse on and Goodnight watched as the animal trotted down the road, Sam’s silhouette cut clear against the pale morning sky.

    “Any better?” Goodnight asked, pulling back a runaway strand of hair and tucking it in with the rest in his other hand. He had woken to find Eliza heaving into the basin she kept next to their bed for this purpose, and immediately he had been with her, pulling back her long hair, one hand rubbing gently up and down her shuddering back as she vomited.  

    Eliza nodded, setting down the basin and wiping her mouth on a handkerchief before leaning back weakly against Goodnight. “Sorry about that,” she said, coughing when her voice came out rough, and grimacing at the acrid flavor in her mouth.

    “Nothing to apologize for,” Goodnight said. “You wait here and I'll get you some water, all right?”

    She nodded, sitting forward a little and Goodnight slipped off the bed, jogging out of the room and downstairs to get her some water. When he returned, she was less pale but still readily took the glass from him, downing the whole thing before setting it on the nightstand. “I’ll just empty this out; you go back to sleep,” she said, reaching for the basin.

    “No, no,” Goodnight said, quickly moving to pick it up before she could. “I’ve got it. I’ll be back.”

    When he returned, she was fast asleep again, and he climbed into bed next to her, settling in close to her growing form. Just a few months left until their family would be one person larger

    “Whatcha thinking about?”

    Goodnight glanced at Eliza, taking her hand in his as he did. “I’m considering something Sam told me.”

    “Oh?” Eliza asked. “What’s that?”

    “The possibility of being a warrant officer like him,” he said. “Sounds like I could make some good money.”

    “But what about…” Eliza hesitated, and Goodnight reached for the poker next to the fireplace, prodding the logs into a better position. “Wouldn’t you have to shoot? And wouldn’t it be better if you could find a job that wouldn’t put you in so much danger?”

    “It would be,” he said. “But when it comes down to it…” The poker clanked as he let it rest on the edge of the fireplace. His shoulders slumped. “Fighting’s the only thing I’m good at. I’m a good shot, I can track a man down. I can do it and get paid.” He chuckled humorlessly. “I survived the whole war; I’m sure I can make it through tracking down a few bandits.”

    “But won’t this make things worse in your head?” Eliza asked. Cloth rustled as she shifted forward to sit next to him, one arm wrapped around his upper back, the other hand resting on his near shoulder.

    “It could,” Goodnight said, finally looking up at her. “But it’s worth a try. I could always stop.”

    Eliza didn’t speak for a few moments, considering. “To be frank, I don’t like the sound of it. But we got plenty of time to think and talk. Well, that is…” Her next words were tentative. “You weren’t planning on doing this right away, were you?”

    Goodnight looked at her, shocked. “Good Lord, of course not! It’d be until the child is born and then at least another few months.”

    “Oh!” she said. “Good.”

    “Eliza,” he said. “I know I haven’t been quite myself recently, but I’m going to stay with you as much as I can. The only reason I’d go away is if we think it’s the best way to support our family. I know your father’s starting to think of me as a freeloader-”

    “Goody,” Eliza cut in but he shook his head.

    “He’s right.”

    “Goody-” she said again.

    “He’s right,” he repeated, this time more firmly. “It’s all right. It’s just the truth.”

    “It may be, but my parents both still love you, Goodnight.”

    Goodnight smiled. “I appreciate that, and I feel the same way. But… I know they lost a lot, and I never wanted to live off somebody else’s money. I also don’t want you or your parents to think for a second that was even in my head when I decided I wanted to marry you.”

    “I don’t think that,” Eliza said. “I never did. Honest.”

    “Really?” Goodnight said.

    “Really,” she said.

    “Good. Anyway. Give it some thought.”     “I will,” she said, but her expression was somber even when she lay down to rest her head in his lap, the warm light of the flames playing across her face.

    “I’m sorry,” Goodnight said. “I would hate to put you through that again.”

    “It’s all right,” Eliza said. “We’ll do what we have to.” Now she gave him a small smile, reaching out to take his hand.

    It was late on a fall night and Goodnight was just unbuttoning his shirt to put on his nightclothes when Eliza, who was sitting on the edge of the mattress, brushing her hair, shrieked and Goodnight whipped around, his hand reaching for the holstered pistol on his desk. “What is it?”

    “The baby’s coming!”

    The revolver clattered on the wood as Goodnight dropped it. “What!?”

    “Goody!” she grimaced, a gasp of pain escaping her lips and he rushed across the room to her, the worn carpet slippery under his bare feet.

    “What do I do?” he asked desperately, his hands moving erratically from her waist to her shoulders and then urging her to lie down, though the edge of the bed was sodden.

    “Get my mother,” she said. “And Martha!”

    “Okay, I’ll be right back,” Goodnight said, focusing on the task at hand as he ran out of the room, dashing down the hall to the Coxes’ bedroom. He knocked hard on the door and Mr. Cox’s voice called,

    “Who is it?”

    “It’s Goodnight, sir, Eliza’s gone into labor and she’s asking for Mrs. Cox!” Goodnight was almost bouncing on the balls of his feet, his body coiled tight as a drawn bow, unstoppable energy coursing through him.

     Moments later the door swung open to reveal Eliza’s parents on the other side, Mrs. Cox hastily wrapping a shawl around herself while Mr. Cox slid on his glasses, his hair mussed and his eyes tired.

    “Is there anything I should do?” Mr. Cox asked as his wife stepped out of the bedroom.

    “Find Martha and send her in. Other than that, no,” she said.

    “How about me- what should I do?” Goodnight said, almost having to jog to keep up with Mrs. Cox as she walked down the hall in long strides, rolling up her sleeves as she went.

    “You stay out of the way,” she said, “There’s no room in there. We’ll call you if we need you.” And with that, she went through the door to Goodnight and Eliza’s room and closed it behind her, cutting off the start of Goodnight’s protest. He had rarely seen Mrs. Cox in such a businesslike, no-nonsense mood before, but she was quite formidable when she was in it, and he knew there would be no talking her into letting him stay. Instead he slid slowly to the floor, his back against the wall, his knees drawn up and his elbows resting on them, his forearms hanging limp in front of him.

    After a few minutes Martha came down the hall with Mr. Cox close behind, and though she rushed into the room without speaking to him, her quick, reassuring smile at Goodnight lightened his heart, even if only for a moment. Then the door closed again, leaving him in the hall with Mr. Cox. He started to push himself to his feet out of respect for the older man, but Mr. Cox shook his head, leaning back against the railing that ran along the edge of the floor that skirted the open-topped staircase. “I understand what you’re feeling, Goodnight.”

    Goodnight hadn’t been thinking about it, but it made sense. He looked up, saying nothing, prompting Mr. Cox to speak more.

    “Martha and my mother delivered Eliza,” he said. “She’ll be fine.”

    “Thank you for saying that, sir,” Goodnight said.

    Mr. Cox nodded. “Care for a pipe?”

    “I… Er, that would be nice.”

    Mr. Cox nodded and walked down the hall, his footsteps echoing in the quiet house. Goodnight could faintly hear voices on the other side of the door and pressed his ear to it, but it seemed just then all seemed to grow quiet except for the sound of footsteps and rustling cloth.

    Soon Mr. Cox returned, sitting down on the floor next to Goodnight. He handed the younger man a pipe and offered him his well-worn leather tobacco pouch. Goodnight thanked him, filling the bowl of the pipe and waiting as Mr. Cox did likewise before lighting both pipes. Goodnight took a deep drag of the sweet-smelling smoke, concentrating on breathing in and out as the air began to grow hazy.

    “Thank you for this,” he said after a few minutes had passed and he felt his pulse slowly beginning to return to normal.

    “Of course,” Mr. Cox said. “She’s your wife, but she’s still my daughter. We may as well suffer together.”

    Goodnight nodded slowly, breathing in another chestful of smoke.

    The sounds from the bedroom ebbed and flowed and when at last Goodnight couldn’t take it anymore and burst through the door, asking how things were going, he was immediately pushed out by Martha and brusquely assured that everything was fine before the door was closed in his face. But he had gotten a brief glimpse of Eliza, and though she was clearly in pain, she was sticking it out.

    When Mr. Cox looked up at him with eyebrows raised in question, Goodnight just nodded reassuringly, resuming his spot next to the older man.

     It was nearly sunrise when he heard the unmistakeable sounds of Eliza hurting and every one went through him viscerally, the sound almost tangible, like he himself was the one in pain. He could no longer sit still, and pushed himself to his feet, puffing agitatedly at the many times refilled pipe still between his lips. Urgency and nervousness made him keep moving, but the helplessness in the pit of his stomach constantly reminded him there was nothing he could do.

    The instant the door opened, he was there, every precipitous and forceful emotion pushing up into his throat. “Well?” he asked Martha, his eyes searching her face for some indication of how things had gone. And then her lips broke into a smile and she pushed the door open farther, stepping aside to allow him in.

    “See for yourself, Mr. Robicheaux.”

    He didn’t realize he had dropped the pipe (or that Martha had to quickly stamp out the still-burning tobacco so it wouldn’t catch the rug on fire); he just walked slowly across the room, tears of joy welling in his eyes as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to Eliza, who gave him a tired but very real smile. He grinned back, his gaze shifting downward to the tiny bundle in her arms.

    “This is…” he broke off, reaching up a hand and carefully, gently, touching the tiny hand that peeked out of the blankets, the fingers so tiny and delicate in comparison to his much larger, weathered ones.

    “He looks like you,” Eliza said, and Goodnight looked up at her.

    “He?”

    “It’s a boy,” she said, her grin so big it crinkled the corners of her eyes.

    “Oh, Eliza-” the sob burst out of him before he could muffle it and then he just laughed, utterly jubilant, moving to sit with his back against the pillows next to his wife, one arm going automatically around her shoulders and one cradling the baby alongside hers.

     “Do you want to hold him?” she asked and he nodded eagerly, tentatively taking the tiny child in his arms when she held him out. Another tear traced down his cheek and he turned his head to kiss Eliza’s forehead, still barely taking his eyes off the baby even as he did.

    “How are you feeling?” he asked finally.

    “Happy,” she said and he chuckled, impulsively kissing her cheek.

    “Good work.”

    She snuggled a little closer, watching her husband with a loving smile on her face as he continued to marvel at the baby. “Is the name we thought of still sounding good to you?” she asked, reaching over to tuck the blanket a little closer around the baby.

    Goodnight nodded. “Even better now I think of him being the one to have it.”

    “Mama, Papa,” Eliza called. “You can come in!” The door swung open and the new grandparents entered, both positively glowing. “We'd like to introduce you to William Rafael Robicheaux.”

    Midnights up with Eliza tending to the crying baby, mornings spent in warm snuggling with the sleeping little boy on one of their chests, afternoons taking him out on circuits of the fields, or simply sitting and watching him sleep in his cradle- life was filled with new bustle, and a new intensity of love Goodnight didn’t know his soul could hold, an amount of joy he didn’t think his scarred heart could comprehend.

     One of the few practical benefits of having a baby was that Goodnight was rarely asleep long enough to have nightmares, and when Eliza was too exhausted to get the baby to sleep, he was always willing and ready. William needed him in a way that no one else did, and it brought a new drive, a new sense of purpose and intention to life, a new vigor when he got out of bed in the morning, no matter how long the night had been, or why it had been so.

    His mind needed the time, needed the joy, even if it only patched over his holes rather than closing them, and he hoped some time with the new career he was fairly sure he would pursue could help him smite down the terrors that burned him from the inside out, could re-accustom him to the sounds and thoughts that triggered periods of inexpressible terror, could chase away the hallucinations that, when he saw them in full, seemed as real as the war he’d fought in, but still danced unbidden at the corners of his vision at times throughout the day.

    So after weeks of long discussion, the morning came for him to depart to Little Rock, where he would be licensed by city officials as a warrant officer. It never got easier leaving Eliza, and it was no easier now that he left William as well. But it was the right decision, he knew that much, and that helped the heartsickness a little.

    He looked back as he reached the end of the road leading up to Cox Manor, taking off his hat and nodding once to the familiar figures on the porch. A silent promise left his lips, to them, to himself.

   I’ll be home soon.

[canaryatlaw]

well, for a shitty week, today was pretty damn good, even though I feel guilty for somewhat blowing off my bar prep (but I did get some of it done tonight so it’s not a total loss). I woke up at 8, earlier than my normal church wake up because I was gonna do the whole shower thing, which ended up taking me less time than I expected so I was like sitting at my kitchen table trying to kill time, and then continually getting frustrated because the bus only comes at 9:00 and 9:20 and I need it at like 9:10 to work properly, but I always end up getting on the 9:00 bus because I hate being late and then I’m just like awkwardly early, and I end up getting pulled into the 10:30 huddle when I’m not serving till the 12:30, but oh well. So all of that happened, and then I went up to the service. I’d been gone the last two weeks and I really miss my church when I’m gone so I was glad to be back, and during worship they played the song they played when it was my first time there that I really like so that made me happy. The sermon was mostly about spiritual gifts (which sounds like a super churchy thing but it’s legit just like the logistics of what you’re good at doing) and exploring that, they even made an online quiz they gave as “homework” where you can answer questions and it’ll tell you what you’re best suited for, or something like that anyway (I don’t think it’s meant to be taken 100% seriously). I pretty much know where I’m at in that regard being that I’m with the babies legit every Sunday, sometimes I don’t even make it to the service but I’ll still be with the babies 😂 but yeah, service was good and then I was with the babies, and boy was it a “when it rains, it pours” day. Most of the time we have super calm services, but every so often we’ll just get a shitton of babies and half of them will be screaming and everything’s on fire, it’s either one or the other, no in betweens lol. there were a LOT of babies so I’m not going to list them all, but I’ll talk about the few I mainly interacted with. This one girl, she’s gotta be like 18 months by now and we’ve had her since she was like 5 months but she just recently started crying when her parents leave (I hate when they regress like that) and she had been in the babies room for the last service, and her mom had come to pick her up, but then she ended up having a meeting so she gave her daughter back to us just for a little while while she was in her meeting. Well, this little girl was not having it. I felt bad because I knew she was probably confused, but she was crying a lot, she would get distracted and stop for a while then start again out of nowhere, so that was a little trying, but thankfully her mom was back before long. We then got an endless stream of babies coming in like, halfway through the service which never makes sense to me but always happens lol, at one point this mom came in with her son and she was just like “would it be okay if I just came in there with him for a little bit?” and I was like YES PLEASE, PLEASE DO because we did not need another unoccupied baby running around lol. For a while I did play with this little girl who was the cutest little thing, I know I say that a lot but seriously, this baby was so. cute. she had these bright blue eyes and the top of her ears stuck out just a little bit and she had this little smile and like....I just melted looking at her because she was so damn cute. She was like 7 months and her parents said she couldn’t quite crawl yet but was getting there, so we sat her on the floor and let her move as she wanted, a few times I’d hold her up so it was like she’s standing and she like, hasn’t fully grasped the concept yet because she keeps most of her feet off the ground and is just on her tip toes, which is also very cute, and she got really happy when I did that and she’d like, try to grab on to me to hold herself up but just ended up like, touching my face awkwardly but it was too damn cute. Okay, I think I ranted sufficiently about how much I wanted to kidnap this perfect little angel (but of course, I restrained myself). There was another little girl I held for a bit who was crying before giving her over to one of the other ladies who was holding her last week and they kinda bonded which does happen haha and she basically just held her the rest of the time. It was a lot of on and off crying, but by the end of the service it was fairly calm so that’s good enough for me lol. I had been texting Jess making plans to get food once I got out of church, and I suggested we go to the cheesecake factory because she loves that place, but the only one I knew of was downtown and you can’t drive downtown because there’s no place to park and it was way too hot to get there by any way other than driving, but she knew of one up in Evanston that was like 30 minutes from us since we’re pretty far north, so I ubered back to her place after church because I’m impatient, and got in the car, stopped at mcdonalds for ice cream cones because it’s never a bad time for ice cream, and from there we drove up to where it was in a mall complex. We had also been planning on seeing Oceans 8 at some point (we were gonna do it last weekend but ended up being too wiped out from our other activities) and there was a movie theatre in the mall complex, so we resolved to get food, look at some stores, and then go to the movies. We got seated right away at the cheesecake factory which I was kinda surprised at because I thought it would be busy with post-church traffic but I guess it was late enough at that point (it was like 3) that most of that crowd had passed through. Our food came out like wicked fast, it was actually there before we even got our bread, which I was very slightly sad about because I like their bread lol. I got the same pasta I always get but it was the lunch portion so I actually finished it for like, the first time I think lol. We were pretty full after that so we opted for no cheesecake (and I mean, we’d already had ice cream) so we paid and then went to wander the stores. Forever 21 was right there and they were having like, a super sale, so we wandered around there a while. I used to get like, most of my wardrobe from there, but more recently I guess I kinda outgrew their stuff and I don’t really own much from them anymore, guess that happens. From there we went into Garage quickly because like, about half of their clothing is actually wearable and cute but the other half is total garbage lol, and then we went into Charlotte Russe for a while. From there we decided to move the car around to the other side of the mall where the movie theatre was, so we did that and then went to assess the movie theatre situation, and dude, this was like a super fucking fancy movie theatre. Like I’ve been to nice ones before, but this was soooo over the top. It had like, waiter service for all these fancy things, and they’ll bring you blankets if you want (they were polyester of course, but I forgive them) and like, their menu was insane, it had like filet mignon for $39 like....who is actually so fucking extra that they would order a fucking steak at the movie theatre (I actually know the answer to that because the answer is my father, but still) so we got popcorn and Jess got a shake and I got a coke because I was still full from lunch. So we chilled there for a while until the movie started. Like all of my internet friends have been raving about this movie for weeks now, so I had pretty high expectations, and they did not disappoint. I’ve seen all 3 of the original Ocean movies and enjoyed them all, so if they were going in that direction I knew I’d like it. And oh, it was so genius, I loved it. Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett were fucking great together, and I have to agree with much of the speculation I’ve seen, they’re totally in love lol. I also really loved Anne Hathaway, she was great through the entire thing, but when she shows up (maybe spoiler?) at the end she just became such a boss and I loved every minute of it. At the last scene, right up until the screen was black, I fully expected George Clooney to walk up any moment because I mean, is anybody really dead if we didn’t see them killed on camera?? lol, but it’s good they at least left the door open for it. So yeah, I really liked it. When we got out most everything else was closed since it was getting late on a Sunday, so we headed back home and had some GPS adventures, but eventually made it home. Throughout the day we had also discussed going to New York next week because I have doctors appointments and shit and Jess legit wasn’t doing anything so I was like well you should just come with me and she was like okay cool so I got home and booked that flight, we’ll leave next Sunday and come back that Friday, should be a nice little break. We plan on making the most of our time in NY, so I already obtained tickets to see a matinee of Hello, Dolly! (only because of Victor Garber, I don’t really care about anything else in that show, at all) and then tickets to see Mean Girls that night because I’m rapidly becoming obsessed with this show and I need to see it in person. Once I got all of that done I turned back to the simulated bar thing I was supposed to be doing and got through 50 out of the 100 questions I had left to do, so not too bad. The site did save all the answers I put in before my computer got fried, so that was good, I could’ve just re-entered them if needed because I marked them on the pages, but it was helpful that I didn’t have to. And yeah, after that I did normal computer stuff and beta’d some fic for a bit until I decided to get ready for bed and now I’m here. Tomorrow I gotta get those questions finished, and then I have a “live webinar” with a bunch of bar students going over the answers and such, so that should be.....interesting (not sure I can think of another word to probably describe it really). We’ll see. Well, it’s past 1:30 am, which means it’s time for me to go to sleep, even if my apartment is still hot as fuck which makes it super annoying to do anything, but I am still gonna need sleep at some point, so I might as well do it now. Goodnight darlings. Have a fantastic Monday.