#yeah extremely unwell

[achiara]

[shimmershy]

That new Undertale newsletter has me feeling very normal today.

[ellzilla]

I realize I haven't drawn these two interacting with each other DIRECTLY in years even though their mutual hate is the ONE piece of lore that hasn't been changed or edited in any way and used to be Ella's only lore for eons.

[hugespace]

extremely normal shit

[waitineedaname]

actually I'm not done thinking about teru and ritsu's friendship. I think teru might be one of ritsu's first real friends. ritsu isn't like,, the most social kid in the universe, and I think he has plenty of superficial friends (see: "I talk about the weather with pretty much anyone") but I think the only real close friends he has are teru and shou. and I think it's bc both of them are people he met without his Perfectly Ordinary Middle Schooler mask. he has to fill the role of honor student, perfect son, doting brother, etc. all the time while ALSO trying to blend into the background and be inconspicuous, and that's part of why he lashed out like he did during the cleanup arc, but with teru and shou, his first encounter with both of them involved him being an arrogant little shit that's willing to pick fights, which contradicts the perfect kid act AND the perfectly ordinary middle schooler act, and is in fact much more honest bc he's not hiding this kind of nasty side to himself. and that honesty works out for him with these two! teru sees himself in ritsu because he's also kind of an arrogant little prick, and aside from initially trying (and succeeding) to intimidate him, teru looks out for him and risks his life trying to save him and they genuinely get along pretty well! and with shou, he sees that ritsu is willing to fight him on his own and he's like "oh you're fucking nuts, we need to be best friends now" and immediately respects him a lot just because he's not gonna run away from a fight he's certain to lose. idk, I just think it's important that ritsu's first real friends are ones who saw him in rather ugly circumstances and wanted to be friends with him anyway

[squibbymun]

[seaofreverie]

The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people

[tedlebred]

decided to read up on the REAL Rimbaud and Verlaine. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the

[istherewifiinhell]

I hope to be able to communicate. An emotional vibe

[Mirage 28, Story: Stephen Murphy, Pencils, Inks and Letters: Jim Lawson (as far as i can tell and so says the wiki). 1 page each by Eastman and Rich Veitch, not included]

[The style for this issue has a softer painterly look to the duoshade. All panels are horizontal across the width of the page.]

[ID from alt: Two panels, Leo leaning over to look at Raph, who's in profile and glaring slightly downwards. He asks "Care to talk about it?". Close on Raph's face, still not looking at Leo, he says "No." END ID]

ID from alt: 3 Panels. Casey leans over, gripping bridge trusses on either side of himself, asks "Hey bro', What's going down?" Raph's feet dangling over the edge of the bridge, its shadow cast on the water below. Raph says "The River... I suppose..." Close on Casey as he looks down skeptically "Um, Yeah. -- Hey, talk to me Raph. Really talk to me."

ID from alt: Three panels. Raph in profile, gazes down somberly, he says "Can't. You wouldn't understand. You're... You're human. You can't possible understand. Wide to all three of them, Casey has shuffled closer, one hand still on the truss. He says "Say what? I'm what? You can kiss off, Pal." Leo on the other side leans back a bit. "The what about me Raph? Why won't you tell me?". Close on Raph, annoyed now. "You're crowding me Leo, you're both crowding me. -- Don't crowd me." END

^gets sick every time i look at this one (HIGHEST OF COMPLIMENT)

ID from alt: Two panels. Close on April's hand. Holding a small turtle in its shell. Caption box "No... not this time, baby." Raph in the foreground, still upset. April and the other turtles sit along the bridge, all apart from Raph. April still holding the turtle, looks over to him. Caption box "When the hell will he simply accept all that's happened to him?" END

Second caption box references April's line in the 3 issue Raph got de-mutated arc. Which he spent the most time being looked after by her.

ID from alt: Two panels. Raph sitting with his back to his brothers, looking down and upset again. Wider shot shows everyone on a raft, the other turtles sitting and Casey pushing raft along at one end, Raph facing the rear, tense, observing the water. April sits between them, not facing either direction, observing Raph. END

ID from alt: Two panels, nighttime. The group sits around a camp fire, Casey standing to tell a story "-Like so much red white and blue Alpo. See, man, there was this..." Raph stands facing into the dark. Caption box: Raphael stood apart from the rest of us..." Wide of the landscape, moon reflecting on water, surrounded by trees and distant mountains. Caption box: "... And stared intently across the moonlit water." END

ID from alt: April and Raph trying to move an unconscious being, mostly humanoid with amphibious features, their three bodies lit against complete blackness. Raph holds her under the shoulders and says "You take her feet, I'll get her head." April kneels to hold her ankles and says "Thanks, Raph." END

ID from alt: Intricately detailed depiction of one of the aquatic beings while still in the egg, curled with its still developing limbs and large eyes. Caption boxes: I am conceived anew -- And as I grow -- I watch my people wither. END

ID from alt: Wide scene lit by the camp fire. April kneels with the beings head in her lap. Four more of the species approach her and the body. Casey stands back closer to the fire, and the turtles, even further back, towards the shore line. Caption box: They've lost her. END

ID from alt: 1. Two panels. Caption box: ... The only four of their species.... The turtles stand in line, Don, Mike, Leo and Raph, looking over the water, and the four remaining beings heads sink below the water. Caption box. "... just like-" The beings completely unseen now. Raph turns his head, looks behind them.

2. Two panels. Dramatic close up on Raph, looking back. The hint of pupil in the normally white eyes adds to the expressions intensity. Close on April meeting his gaze. Eyes wide with shock. She says a quite "-Omigod". END

ah. i was just gonna tag rant about this its getting way too long. oop

As i said earlier. this was ANOTHER ISSUE that was adapted into 03 during the Leo angst era. so they swapped Raph for Leo.

(NOT MAD ABT IT. i could go on a very long talk abt raph leo interchangeability and every time they've done that in adaptation, and why so many of the raph leo conflicts are about them being so so similar.

and how they are the person the other gets/gets them. and loss of that understanding due to separation or injury causes the blow ups.)

ANYWAY

03 didnt have the events that happened to raph that are referenced here anyway. those being. Raph almost being killed in a drive to solo kill the shredder (which... Leo Does btw) but more importantly admitting to Leo that he feels he has no control, that he cant think through his emotions.

And, again as mentioned, the de-mutation. It took him from weakened, to childlike, too deteriorating illness, until he's a particularly emotive large turtle, and then even less so to a normal smaller and smaller one. And this was caused by a very powerful being that thought he'd be happier that way, after feeling all the guys bask in the water, and be in awe of real baby turtles.

So these are the things he can't talk to Leo or Casey about. And this comic issue is one thats in the mode of "something written by april" like journal entries. And it wouldnt be clear cause i removed the CONTEXT lol. but that is her seeing a vision, from this dying being, of her [the being's] life and history, and its like. not pretty! not good things happening to the extincting amphibious humanoids.

So the lack of control, emotional and LITERAL, over his fate, his body, his being his mind? The things he cant tell his human best friend or his leader and brother. She goes through something impossible, she has no control, she fails at saving this being. And she sees it. And they see each other. And their is not a fix it at the end of that. She doesn't tell anyone else why she gets spooked. Everyone is just standing around each other in the moment, where its all not okay.

[disformer]

Whenever you post anything regarding the combaticons (and first aid) I get such a huge surge of dopamine ( ◜𖥦◝ ) thank you for sharing your work 💕

THANK YOU they are my special interest and i worry sometimes it’s too niche for the (checks blog and whimpers) three thousand and change followers this blog somehow has so i’m glad

[eggmeralda]

when I joined tumblr I was some stereotypical giddy lovesick schoolgirl twirling my hair/drawing hearts in my diary/etc about some guy in the 60s. well 7 years later and nothing has changed

[murdermost-foul]

.

[alinedreams]

I'm a major supporter of the theory that people suffering from mental disorders aren't a minority in the slightest, it's just that people who can afford being diagnosed are.

Honestly, why would we think the majority of people are doing just fine in a world where over half the population can't even afford basic necessities such as food and clean water, let alone mental health diagnoses?

Not all countries have free healthcare and those that do are usually filled to the brim with mental health patients and people waiting for vacancies to open. Public health (in countries that have it) is entirely too understaffed and underfunded to deal with a mass influx of mentally ill people! But being unable to access healthcare doesn't mean you aren't ill, it just means you're neglected.

So, when someone says "there can't be so many people suffering from mental disorders out there", all I can hear is "I don't understand smack about how the world works and how inaccurate estimates can be and as such I'll parrot the very beliefs that lead to diagnostic biases and medical neglect of the poor like it's gospel"

Moreover, add the whole stigma mental illnesses and therapies still have amongst the general population and you'll have underdiagnoses even among those who actually can afford to get their mental health checked, which doesn't contribute to the stats in the slightest.

[imissthefire]

I... finally finished rd and I want to cry???

[trans-leek-cookie]

I think something is maybe broken in me. Not in a self loathing way but like. Broken bone except its my ability to engage with the things I love

[likeswallowstosea]

//So I have today and tomorrow off, so hopefully I’ll get to replies and a couple new opens over the next two days🤞