#yeah actually queen glimmer at this point lol

[abneyart]

Glimmah from Patreon

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

Hoiiii! This got too long for the tags, sorry @u@

BUT I think it could come from a few things!

Victor's EQ is not that great, and from the later line of iirc 'Should I just kiss you or something?' I think it seems like he's just looking for buttons to push. There's an implication that Victor has manipulative tendencies, between his fatshaming and treatment of Yurio. Waterfalls and I thiiiink iirc the convo in episode 11 come to mind? NTM the fact that he totally forgot he made a promise to Yurio to choreo for him so I can see him literally being 'yeah sure w/e' to get an annoying kid off his back LOL He is generally a very very sweet man who tries hard to be kind, who would do anything for the people he cares for, but when he's frustrated, jilted, etc, those queen bee tendencies can come out a little bit.

Also, Victor is ACUTELY aware of how important he is to Yuuri by that point. By threatening to effectively leave him, he's trying to push Yuuri to do what it takes to make Victor stay, plying on Yuuri's well developed sense of guilt. However even though Victor knows he's important to Yuuri, this is realistically still pretty early in their relationship - they're still learning each other out. So, buttons. I think Victor is intrigued by Yuuri, inspired by him, in love with him, wants to learn him through and through, but I don't think he can really relate to him - probably part of what makes Yuuri so interesting to him actually - so that difference in mindset can lead to some clashes. In that scene, he literally doesn't even understand why Yuuri is nervous to begin with until Yuuri spells it out for him, that this whole time he's been petrified for the both of them and is collapsing under that self-applied pressure.

I tend to think it goes like this : what Victor wants, Victor gets. What Yuuri wants, Yuuri miiiiiiiiight ask for, around prevaricating and comfort eating and worrying he's imposing on others.

I also think there's an implication in Victor's life that, even off the ice, much of it has been a performance. In fanfic, this is largely exemplified by the difference in his smiles, and I don't think that's an incorrect supposition. Compare the smile he gives in the first episode when he's holding up his medal, or when he's calling Yuuri a pig, to the heart shaped one he gives in seemingly more genuine moments. The first is beautiful, slim, shining - quite knifey, really. The latter is wide and excited and, again, literally heart shaped - he's smiling with and from his whole heart. IIRC there's even a difference in body language with these smiles - stiff vs loose/exuberant. Victor says almost immediately that he wasn't being serious when Yuuri started freaking out. So I think it was also Victor falling back onto old habits in a moment of stress - because he DOES seem to be stressed if those glances at the ceiling mean anythng, and his outright saying he doesn't know what to do. Victor doesn't seem like a man who's often honestly out of his depth. He was performing to Yuuri, he wasn't saying his true feelings. The maladaptive coping mechanism came out to play for a hot second.

But it's his true feelings that Yuuri needs in that moment, Yuuri doesn't need and especially doesn't want him to perform at all. He just wants Victor to be Victor, and for Victor to simply be there with him. Everything Yuuri asks for in that moment is internal, not external. And I think that's why Victor's eyes glimmer like they do. It's essentially Yuuri reaffirming to Victor that he doesn't need Victor to become something to please Yuuri, only that he needs to be himself, like in that early moment on the beach. And this time, it probably really sinks in <3

There's also another component in Yuuri that I think Victor was trying to tap into. When Yuuri and Yurio first meet, after the stomping on his face, Yuuri seems to behave very OOC. He thinks to himself that Yurio is underestimating him and... smirks? Of all things???? Then there's Yuuri's thinking during his eros performances, where he's drawing motivation from the fact that the world fucking hates him for having Victor in a way they don't. For a guy who BSOD'd when he went viral, this doesn't seem to fit, but it does if you think of it in a certain way. Yuuri? Is literally fueled by spite. There is a deeply petty piece in him that sees when people aren't taking him seriously and seeks to make them eat their words. It hangs out next to his perfectionism and endless stamina. Victor has probably realized this, and it's that that he's probably trying to tap into. I don't think he was trying to make Yuuri cry - hence his startled freak out when that's exactly what happens - he was actually trying to piss Yuuri off LOL

Idk if this is what the intent was canonically, but that's been my take away at least quq i hope that maybe helps a lil idk idk

I don't usually post about Yuri on Ice on here but after seeing a few posts about it I want to ask something I've always been puzzled about.

In episode 7, why does Victor come to the conclusion that he should break Yuri's heart and make him cry?? It just seems like a really weird thought process to be like "how should I motivate him? Ah yes, shatter his heart"

Was that just supposed to be Victor being awkward with feelings? Crying did help Yuri to release some of his tension but Victor can't have known that would be the case and it seems pretty cruel to experiment with his feelings like that anyhow.

I think it was important for Yuri to realise that Victor can make mistakes and be an arse sometimes but I'm just honestly confused as to why he would do that in the first place. I just don't understand!

Does anyone else know? Am I just being dense about something?

[haroldtea]

i wrote something!!

soooo I’m a pathological “i have a fic idea and i’m never going to write it or I write a few pages and then fall off” writer buuuut I had this very cute idea and wrote 4k words of it! I wanted to post it here before ao3 because 1) not sure if I’m a fan of starting a multichapter WIP because I still may abandon it like my other stuff 2) i want feedback before i continue!!

here’s the gist: it’s princess prom except it’s a high school au and princess prom is actually homecoming. Adora is very happy and supportive of Glimmer and Bow running for king/queen. Glimmer is very, very passionate about winning. The problem is they’ve naturally got competition, in the form of Perfuma (who is equally as passionate about winning, for her own reasons) and her new girlfriend Scorpia. In a sitcom-style mishap, Adora sort of accidentally signs up to run as well...with Catra, Scorpia’s best friend who Adora doesn’t not have a crush on. The two decide to go through with it with the intention of getting eliminated from the race as soon as possible. Then, their friends come up with a different plan for them.

so, take a read below at 4k of stupidity and let me know what you think, and if you would be interested to read more :) (fyi there is a lot of swearing lol)

“I’M GONNA BE THE QUEEN!”

Adora shrieks, flailing her arms and almost knocking her lamp over in the process. She whirls around in her desk chair to face the intruder, arms raised in karate chop form (she does not know any martial arts), and finds Glimmer, who has flung her bedroom door open and has that crazed Glimmer look in her eyes that only means trouble.

“Fuck! Glimmer, you can’t just sneak up--wait, how did you get in my house?!”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?! Also, the door was unlocked,” Glimmer replies, kicking off her shoes and launching herself onto Adora’s bed, which she had just painstakingly made.

Adora presses her hand into her face, sighing. “I was kind of busy trying not to piss myself. Haven’t you heard of knocking? What if I was, you know...” she says, gesturing vaguely.

Glimmer rolls her eyes. “Please, Adora. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Anyway--the student council decided to bring back the homecoming pep rally!” she squeals, gleefully kicking her feet in the air.

Adora leans back in her chair, brows furrowed. “Bring back? Didn’t we have one last year?”

“Yes, but after the water balloon thing they weren’t gonna let us have it anymore, but it turns out that one senior who wasn’t gonna graduate did graduate so I guess they figured it would probably be fine, ‘cause like, who’s ever gonna try and top that?”

“Right,” Adora hums, thinking back to last year’s pep rally. Just before homecoming court was announced, a group of rogue seniors had risen from the bleachers, unleashing dozens of water balloons they had stashed in their backpacks. What ensued was a pandemonium Adora could only remember in flashes, resulting in almost the entire student body and the school’s hallways being completely soaked.

The catch was that the seniors had filled the balloons with blue paint. It had taken the janitorial staff weeks to get the gym bleachers, the lockers in the science wing, and the cafeteria ceiling (don’t ask) to look normal again. Classes were cancelled for almost an entire week because the paint had messed up something with the internal plumbing. It was single-handedly the coolest thing Adora had experienced in her living years.

It was all led by the legendary Mara Hart, notorious for sticking it to the man during her K-12 years. The prank had all but gotten her and her friends expelled, but given that she was otherwise an A+ student and no one could technically prove who was behind it (her friends were loyal to each other to the bitter end), she walked at Bright Moon High’s graduation to uproarious applause from her classmates.

Adora knew some of the more grisly details because Mara had been captain of the girls’ lacrosse team last year--effortlessly cool Mara, endlessly caring Mara, definitely part of Adora’s gay awakening Mara--but it had become something of an urban legend at BMHS over the past year.

“Wait, how do you know any of this?” Adora asks, because while she was personally connected to Mara in a small way, she hadn’t been aware that they were going to cancel the pep rally indefinitely.

Glimmer arches an eyebrow. “Um, hello? My mom’s the principal?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“And Mermista totally let it slip when I asked her about it after the student council meeting,” Glimmer adds, then pauses. “Okay, it was more like I didn’t even wanna be there and I wish no one had ever voted for me and I’ll tell you whatever, but still. I’m...” she props her face in her hands and bats her eyelashes, “in the know.”

Adora smirks and rolls her eyes fondly, turning back to her desk to shut her textbook and put her notes away. She can never get anything done when Glimmer’s around. “Okay, so, pep rally’s back--that’s cool,” she says.

“It’s not just cool, Adora,” Glimmer scoffs. “Being homecoming queen is literally all I’ve wanted since I was a kid. I thought my dream had died with Mara’s academic career, but now there’s hope again--it’s meant to be, Adora. It’s destiny.”

Adora had literally never heard Glimmer talk about this, but, “Um, okay.”

Glimmer huffs and dramatically rolls onto her back, flinging her arms out and further messing up Adora’s sheets. Lesson learned, it isn’t worth the effort for Adora to make the bed anymore. “My mom was the homecoming queen like a hundred years ago, and my aunt was the homecoming queen before that. It’s, like, my birthright!”

Adora lifts a shoulder, twisting around in her chair to look at Glimmer. “Okay, then we’ll just get you to be the homecoming queen too. Can’t your mom just...make it happen?”

“Ugh, no,” Glimmer sighs. “I already asked. It’s a student vote.”

“Oh!” Adora brightens. “That’s easy, then. Everyone loves you.”

Glimmer pouts. “I know, but it’s not just a popularity contest--it’s, like, a whole thing. Me and Bow are gonna have to do a talent show, and there’s a relay race, and other stuff that if we don’t do well in we won’t even get to be in the final vote.”

“Wait, what?” Adora doesn’t remember any of that from last year. “What do you mean, Bow? Is...he's running for homecoming queen too?”

“Ha! No,” Glimmer laughs, then her expression darkens, eyes narrowing. “I would crush him.”

“Right...” Adora says. Actually, Bow would make a pretty good homecoming queen. But Adora values her life, so she decidedly does tell Glimmer this.

“No, every queen nominee has to also have someone to run with them as their ‘king,’” Glimmer explains, making air quotes with her fingers. “There’s no boy/girl bullshit, but you do have to be in a pair.”

“I don’t remember any...talent shows, or whatever,” Adora points out. “I don’t think I’ve ever even heard of one of those happening in real life.”

“Well, obviously you never went. It would’ve all been during your lacrosse thingies and you would've been too busy making googly eyes at Mara Hart,” Glimmer replies, wiggling her fingers at Adora.

Adora crosses her arms and blushes a deep red. “I would not. I would’ve been playing lacrosse. And stuff.” Okay, maybe she did make googly eyes at Mara, but only sometimes, as a treat, and Glimmer doesn’t need to know that.

Glimmer flips back over on her stomach and levels Adora with a pout. “Adora, this means a lot to me. We’re gonna need your help to win this.”

Adora has no idea how she could possibly be of any help with this, but hey-- “Of course, Glimmer. Whatever you need. I’m there.”

Glimmer grins, eyes sparkling. “Yaaaaay. Also, my mom’s making meatloaf tonight, you in?”

Adora pumps her fist in the air. “Sweet. Hell, yes.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This is a joke, right? Like, you’re joking?” Catra says into the receiver as she shoves another handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“I am usually a pretty funny gal, it’s true--but, ah, no. This time I’m serious,” Scorpia replies on the other end.

Catra hoists her phone higher up on her shoulder while she adjusts her grip on her Xbox controller. “Okay, please explain,” she says between chews.

Scorpa sighs, and Catra visualizes her sitting cross-legged on her bedspread, hugging one of her many stuffed animals to her chest. “I know it’s kind of silly, but Perfuma sounded really excited about it, ‘cause I guess if you win, you get to pick what charity the proceeds from the dance ticket sales go to, and...I just couldn’t say no?”

Catra smirks, mashing a series of buttons on her controller as her TV screen lights up in front of her. She’s been trying to get past this level for weeks, but she’ll probably die right before the end again whether she’d answered Scorpia’s call or not. “You are so whipped,” she says.

Scorpia sighs again, but this time Catra can hear a smile in it. “I guess so, kitty cat. Still, it sounds kinda...fun? I mean, it’s more time spent with her, if anything else. She’s talking about writing an original song together for the talent show and incorporating her Tibetan singing bowls into it.”

Catra takes that in and barely suppresses a laugh. Her New Year’s resolution was to make fun of her friends less. Some days are harder than others. “Um, wow,” she says instead. “That’s, uh...that’ll be interesting. Do I have to call you Queen Scorpia if you win?”

“Oh, Perfuma doesn’t believe in gendered royalty,” Scorpia replies. “She wants us to be known as Homecoming Monarchs.”

“Of course she does,” Catra mutters. Perfuma is endlessly kind and patient and makes Scorpia smile, so by default Catra likes her, but otherwise they...don’t exactly share identical values, let’s say. Catra brings her own point home by pressing a button on her controller and chainsawing an alien in half on screen.

“Do you...think it’s a stupid idea? The whole...running for homecoming thing, I mean.”

Catra hears the telltale signs of Scorpia-doubting-herself in her reply, so she pauses the game. “Nah. If it’s something you guys wanna do, you should go for it. Fuck what anyone else thinks.”

“Okay, thanks,” Scorpia says, sounding lighter. “I think it means a lot to Perfuma. It would be cool to win it for her.”

“Well, hey,” Catra continues, un-pausing her game. “If you need any help, let me kn--oh, fuck!”

“Catra?” Panic sets in Scorpia’s tone. “Kitty cat, speak to me--do I need to call 911?!”

“No, no, Scorpia, please don’t do that,” Catra groans, tossing her controller aside. “I just got blown up in my stupid game again, that’s all. I’m never gonna beat this final boss.”

Scorpia sighed in relief. “Aw, don’t give up, kitty cat. One of these days, you’re gonna really give it to--what’s the dude’s name again?”

“Prime something-or-whatever,” Catra grumbled, reaching for her popcorn.

“Yeah, that guy. He’ll never know what hit him.”

Catra snickers into the receiver. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Scorpia.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The lunch period at BMHS is, naturally, chaotic. Being a regional high school, every inch of the place is usually crawling with students, and the cafeteria is no different. The student population is small enough and the cafeteria big enough to condense into one lunch period, although Adora has oftentimes heard Perfuma lament about the ethics and health concerns of overcrowding.

Adora likes chaos. She likes that the overlapping sounds of chairs scraping and garbled chattering combine to form a comforting din that allows her to drown out whatever weird TikTok plans Bow’s making (ok, to be real, she will be asking about them later) and quietly observe the antics happening at tables around them.

She takes another bite of her pudding and her eyes land on the table to their right where Kyle, Lonnie, and Rogelio from her math class always sit together. Lonnie is mechanically chewing her gum as she stares into a compact mirror, examining her eyebrows with fierce concentration. Across from her, Kyle is holding up something on his phone to Rogelio with one hand and gesticulating wildly with the other as he holds a corn dog. Rogelio is nodding along but is staring down fondly at Kyle rather than at the screen Kyle’s pointing to, one arm hanging loose around Kyle’s shoulders. Lonnie slaps her compact shut and shouts something at them, pointing emphatically to her eyebrows. They all pause for a moment before bursting into laughter. Then Kyle drops his corn dog.

Adora pointedly does not observe the table across from theirs. She’ll gladly watch the Star siblings silently and intensely do their homework for the next period, or listen to Mermista fight off Seahawk’s PDA attempts, but nothing could compel her to look at the table straight ahead.

That table was where Catra Weaver and her friends sat.

Including: Perfuma’s new girlfriend, Scorpia Garnet; Entrapta Dryl, who was dating one of the Hordak twins (Adora was ever completely sure which one); the Hordak twins in question, one of which who usually broods silently and one of which who usually stares around smiling at nothing and everything; the stylish and blonde ruler of the theatre kids who has been nicknamed Double Trouble for as long as Adora can remember; and finally: Catra Weaver. Effortlessly cool, effortlessly gorgeous, effortlessly effortless Catra Weaver, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed, coolly regarding the rest of the cafeteria as she holds court at her table of wonderful misfit toys.

Today’s effortless ensemble: cool jean jacket, a cool crop top, cool black jeans, cool combat boots, she got a haircut recently so--

“Um, Earth to Adora?”

“Huh?” Adora says, jerking her head up.

This is why she avoids looking at Catra Weaver’s table. Or Catra Weaver in general.

“We were talking about homecoming,” Glimmer says from her seat across from Adora, raising an eyebrow. “You were totally spaced out.”

Adora clears her throat, willing herself not to blush. “Sorry,” she replies, digging back into her pudding.

“Glimmer’s trying to convince me not to run for court,” Perfuma continues, crossing her arms.

“What? Why?”

“Because it’s totally lame and stupid and a waste of time,” Mermista answers from beside Perfuma, inspecting her nail polish. She glances up when she senses everyone at the table staring at her. “What?”

“Mermista, you’re on the homecoming committee,” Bow says.

Mermista shrugs. “So? I said what I said.”

“Look, Perfuma,” Glimmer starts, sliding her hand across the table toward Perfuma. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed if you lose. Homecoming’s a really big deal to me, and I really want to win.” She smiles saccharinely, tilting her head at Perfuma, eyes gone wide. Bow and Adora exchange a look.

Perfuma smiles back. “Oh, don’t worry about me, Glimmer! I’m sure our classmates will select the most deserving and talented couple to win,” she says, then goes back to stabbing a fork into her salad.

Glimmer’s eye starts twitching. Bow slowly and gently takes Glimmer’s hand and slides it back to her side of the table. “Glimmer, we’ll do great. The most important thing is to have fun,” he says, patting her hand.

“The most important thing is the charity,” Perfuma mutters.

“That too.”

“Is anybody else we know running?” Adora asks. Glimmer and Perfuma both shake their heads in response, until Mermista sighs dejectedly.

“Unfortunately,” she groans, raising her hand.

“Wait, what?! You just said it was stupid and lame!” Bow squawks.

“It is,” Mermista rolls her eyes. “But the rest of the student council said it would look really bad if I was on the planning committee and didn’t run. I was forced against my will.”

“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” Glimmer asks, gripping her lunch tray so tight Adora wondered if she was going to launch it at Mermista’s head.

“I don’t know? I guess not? I’m planning on getting cut as soon as humanly possible though, so whatever,” Mermista replies, flicking her hair behind her shoulder.

“We won’t win with that attitude, my love!” Seahawk roars, throwing his arm around Mermista’s shoulder and raising a fist triumphantly. “You and I are going to be the greatest King and Queen this school has ever seen!”

“Oh my god, please stop,” Mermista groans, hiding her face in her hands.

“Picture it: you, me, newly crowned, gliding down the science wing--the students stop and stare! Could it really be our King and Queen in the flesh? The teachers stare too! I am going to give them both straight A’s!”

“Please just sit and eat your sandwich,” Mermista begs.

“Never,” Seahawk says, then kisses her on the cheek and acquiesces, taking a big bite of his sandwich. Adora tries to hide her smirk when she sees Mermista blush a deep red. She elbows Glimmer and nods in their direction so she can see.

“Aw, how cute. I’m going to destroy them,” Glimmer whispers in Adora’s ear.

“I know,” Adora whispers back. “But try to at least be nice about it.”

“No promises.”

“Ok, I have to pee,” Adora announces to the table, grabbing her lunch tray as she stands, grinning at Bow’s groan of TMI, Adora!

She makes her way over to the trash cans by the cafeteria exit, waving to her friends on the lacrosse team as she dumps her leftovers in the trash and sets the tray in the dish bin beside it. She should probably go over and check in with them about practice tonight, but she really has to pee, which reminds her that she forgot her water bottle all the way back to the table and needs to refill it before her next class.

“Damn it,” she mutters to herself, still smiling at her lacrosse friends as she whips around to head back--

And crashes right into someone, their heads knocking smack together.

“Ow!” Adora yelps, losing her footing for a moment. She rubs at her stinging forehead, glancing up as she apologizes, “Shit, sorry, sorry, that was totally my fault, I--”

And stares right up at Catra Weaver.

“I...I...I...”

She blinks a few times, but yes, that is Catra Weaver, rubbing at her own forehead and fixing a few strands of hair that had come loose from behind her ears. Catra Weaver, up close and personal, who she hasn’t talked to since...

“Your forehead is fucking hard. And big,” Catra says, holding her tray in one hand as she narrows her eyes up at Adora.

“Oh, um, you too...I mean! Thanks? I grew it myself,” Adora replies spectacularly, and then promptly wants to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Catra raises one eyebrow at her. “How hard did I hit you?”

Adora scrambles to answer. “Oh, not at all! I mean, not hard. It was my fault. Are you, um, are you okay?” This is going amazingly.

“I’m fine, Greyskull,” Catra replies, sending a tingle up Adora’s spine. She goes to deposit her tray. “Just watch where you’re going.”

Adora grins dopily. “Yes. I mean--I will. Sorry. Again.”

Catra glances Adora up and down, eyebrow still raised, and goes to say something else, when they’re interrupted by a foreboding, familiar voice.

“Ah, Adora! I’m so pleased to see you taking an interest in student affairs.”

Adora turns to see Glimmer’s mom looming over them, hands neatly clasped together. Maybe looming isn’t the right word as she’s smiling brightly down on her and Catra, but she’s tall, ok? “Oh, hi Ang--,” Adora starts before remembering they’re at school, “um, Mrs. Moon. What’s up?”

Angella gestures between her and Catra. “I was just observing how wonderful it will be that Glimmer will have a friend to share the homecoming experience with.”

Adora tenses again, remembering that Catra is still standing very close to her. “Oh, haha, yeah, super great. Wait, what?” Sharing?

Then she notices that her and Catra are standing in front of the wall where the Homecoming Court Signup Sheet is hanging. A sparkly pen tied to the clipboard is dangling within Adora’s reach.

“Oh, um, actually, Perfuma’s already--”

“I think this activity will make a fine addition to your college applications, Adora. And you know how Glimmer gets,” Angella leans in conspiratorially, not bothering to lower her voice. “I think it will calm her nerves to have a friend by her side. A bit of friendly competition, even!” she claps her hands together, delighted. “I remember having so much fun with my friends back in my day.”

“But, I’m already on the lacrosse team...” Adora mumbles, scratching the back of her neck. She glances down at the pen.

“Oh, but you know schools these days, always looking for that something that makes a student stand out,” Angella says, waving her hand dismissively. “And don’t worry, I’ll speak to Coach Huntara about any scheduling conflicts. You’ll get to have the best of both worlds!”

Wait, but lacrosse was Adora’s whole thing--does she not stand out enough? Will she seem boring to UEternia? “I...”

“Oh, Ms. Weaver!” Angella says, as if she’s just now noticing Catra. “I didn’t take you for the...school spirit type.”

“I’m not,” Catra replies, crossing her arms. She smiles saccharinely and adds, “ma’am,” for good measure. God, she’s cool.

“Ah,” Angella says, creating an awkward pause before brightening again. “Well, still, here you are. Are you Adora’s running mate?”

So, sometimes Adora panics.

Look, she’s in a high-stress situation. The girl she doesn’t not have an embarrassing crush on bumped into her, talked to her, and then her best friend’s mom swooped in basically saying that lacrosse is boring and dumb and running for homecoming court will get her into UEternia. At least, that’s what Adora got from all that. And then she insinuates that she’ll be doing that with Catra Weaver.

So, she panics. She panics, and she grabs the glittery pen, and she continues to panic.

“Yep! We’re running together!” she says, grinning.

“Say what?” Catra hisses.

“Oh, wonderful!” Angella squeals, clapping her hands together again. “I must say, I think this will turn out to be a very interesting competition. You’ll have to come dress shopping with us, Adora.”

“Haha, yeah...” Adora says, quickly scribbling Adora Greyskull & Catra Weaver on the signup sheet. Oh fuck, oh god.

“Hang on a fu--” Catra starts, then clamps her mouth shut, because the goddamn principal is still talking to them.

“Oh, I wonder what you’ll do for the talent show! I can’t wait...well, I’m off. It was great catching up, girls!” Angella says, and winks, and does weird-mom-finger-guns, and then she’s gliding away as quickly as she came.

Adora continues to grin and wave awkwardly until Angella is out of sight, then she deflates. That was so weird.

Then she turns and sees Catra reach for the pen that’s still in her hand. Adora has half a mind to snatch it away. Or half a brain cell, at least. “Hey!”

“Cross our names out. Right. Now,” Catra growls through gritted teeth, still trying to grab the pen. Adora tries to hold it up out of reach, but it’s still attached to the clipboard, so the best she can do is weave her hand in and out of Catra’s way.

“Um, no? I just told her we were running!”

“Well, we’re not. Give it to me!”

“No!” Adora grunts, yanking the pen away. “You heard her--she’s gonna talk to Coach Huntara. I can’t back out now.”

“Well, I can!” Catra says, grabbing at Adora’s arm, where she has the pen tucked under her armpit. “Find someone else to run with you!”

“I can’t! They’ll want to win!” Adora says, twisting her body away from Catra. She’s having a slight meltdown over Catra touching her so much, but she’s focusing on the pen for now. “No one’s gonna want to run with me anyway.”

Catra mutters something under her breath that Adora doesn’t catch, then she snakes her hand under Adora’s and takes hold of her wrist. Adora stifles a gasp. “Wait, you don’t want to win?” Catra asks, eyebrow quirked.

“Noooo,” Adora furiously shakes her head. “No, no, no. Glimmer would kill me. She wants to win. I just, um, panicked. I guess?” The heat from Catra’s hand is searing into her wrist.

Catra glances down at their hands and back up at Adora. “So, your friend will kill you if you run for homecoming. And you just signed up in front of her mom?”

“Um...” Adora thinks for a second. “Yes?”

Catra huffs out a laugh. “Wow, you’re even more of an idiot than I remember.”

Adora feels her face redden, shocked at Catra’s casual mention of the past, and glances away. “Look, let’s just get eliminated as quickly as possible and then we can forget it ever happened. Deal?”

“Ugh,” Catra lets out a groan, leaning her head back. She tugs at Adora’s wrist a few times, finding that she isn’t budging. “Fine! As quickly as possible.”

“As quickly as possible,” Adora nods, finding herself grinning as Catra loosens her grip and pulls away. “I’m gonna take this pen home, by the way,” she calls out as Catra begins to head back to her table.

“Fuck!”

After Adora finally pees and refills her water bottle, she gingerly sits back down beside Glimmer. Poor, sweet, deadly Glimmer, who’s chattering away excitedly with Seahawk about some new music video or something.

She says, in a very tiny voice, “So, um...I think I’m running for homecoming queen?”

Glimmer whips her head around, nose flaring. She stands up, slamming both hands down on the table with a smack.

“You WHAT?!”

And then the bell rings.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

The Crucible (part eight)

[Carrie AU; UK Tour]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 

Word count: 10,126

TW: None, for once lol

---------------------------

-Dreamer In Disguise-

  “Tell us about the night of May 28th. Of the events leading up to the incident.”

Katherine grit her teeth tightly, then exhaled a sharp breath through her nose, releasing her mounting anger. Her eyes were stinging, like fire ants were infested in the sockets and wouldn’t come out no matter how hard she scratched. Her face was still blotchy and washed out from crying, but she held herself as confidently as always, not willing to give into the crime Mulaney so desperately wanted her to be a part of.

  “It was meant to be a celebration.” Katherine said strongly. Her voice held no evidence that she had been crying just a few minutes ago. “It was supposed to be the biggest night of our high school lives. The ending of one chapter and the beginning of the next. If only--” Her words caught for a moment, but she would not break again. “If only--”

  “If only what?” Mulaney urged.

  “If only I hadn’t told Anna to go to prom with Joan!” Katherine exploded, slamming her palms on the table and making even Madeline jump and Mulaney look at her more warily. It pleased her, and she eased back down, steadying her sharpening breath. “Then maybe nobody would have died. But just because I should have done that, doesn’t mean I regret having her go.”

Mulaney’s eyes glinted and he leaned in, hungry for a confession.

  “Anna sent me a picture.” Katherine said. She took out her phone and slid it over the tabletop. The screen showed an image of Anna and Joan, grinning brightly at the camera with two other kids, George Boleyn, Anne’s younger brother, and his girlfriend, Jane Parker. “Look at how happy she is… I’ve never seen her smile like that before. So carefree and peaceful…”

She put her phone back into her pocket and shook her head. She blew out a sigh from her nose.

  “That’s why I don’t wish I didn’t have Anna ask her.” She said. “She was happy for the first time in her life. Truly happy. And who am I to take that away from her?”

Her eyes began to burn again. She fingered her shredded tissue, a whirlwind of emotions storming inside her skull. She wanted to release it on this skeptical detective before her and show him that she was innocent.

  “I hope it was good for her. That prom. Before things went to hell.”

------

It was like a dream. An actual perfect dream.

The prom glimmered in droplets of amber and gold, sapphire and jade, obsidian and pearl. Fragments of gods and goddesses and mythical creatures prowled across the walls in detailed murals, capturing ancient battles in their canvases forever.

The gym had been morphed into a huge, vaulted space that hummed with activity. Intricately carved Greek pillars and spires and arches dotted the space, and green and silver drapes of silk dipped from the ceiling. White fairy lights were lit up everywhere, casting soft glows across various tapestries and weavings decorating the walls and architecture. Miniature recreations of temples acted as buffets for the hundreds of partygoers, bearing chips and cookies and cakes and other treats. There was even a large bowl-like piece that was shaped like the Great Theater of Epidaurus, holding salad condiments around the wide sides and lettuce in the middle. A chocolate fountain burbled on a nearby table, the most modern-looking piece of decor in there.

The food temples encircled a giant white fake-marble tree that the origins of were unknown to mostly everyone. The trunk was carved with intricate designs that looked like they had taken hours to scratch away, and the lush shrubbery it bore was braided with silver lights, making the entire decoration a beacon of sterling radiance. Transparent ice blue globes hung from the many reaching branches, lit up with fake candles inside of their hallowed out interior. They glowed like captured moons within the party.

The stage was set up to look like the Parthenon, with white pillars along the apron and wings, coiled by ivy and flowers. Golden and iridescent fabric braided the top, glistening in the fairy lights. A hired band was set up at the center, along with the DJ booth, which played most of the music. Behind them were the thrones for prom king and queen, all shiny and poised, ready for their royals.

Music catapulted around the high, canvas-covered walls like thread winding around and around the assembled students. The sound seemed to swallow Joan up, reverberating in her bones. Partygoers whirled together on the dance floor, the colors of their suits and dresses sparkling in bright tornadoes. They stomped and jumped and clapped in time to the beat of the music, a kaleidoscope of rainbow rhythm.

However, the highlight of the ball were the sculptures. There were at least ten different elaborate carvings sparkling importantly in the party space. Twisting spirals, weaving tendrils, and delicate beads mingled with glorious bells and vast shipwrecks, towering trees and clusters of griffon feathers. Joan wanted to run her hands over all of their smooth, bubbly surfaces.

  “Anna.” Joan squeezed Anna’s arm tightly. “Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna--”

  “Yeah?” Anna looked down at her.

  “Look.” Joan pointed to the sculpture garden with her free hand. 

  “Wanna go look at them?”

Joan nodded vigorously. Anna chuckled. They both began to walk over, and Joan nearly dragged Anna when she leapt forward to look at the closest sculpture, a beautiful, branching ice tree with fat orbs of sugary fruit. 

  “It’s so pretty…” Joan murmured, her eyes sparkling. 

  “No wonder it’s so cold in here,” Anna observed. “They have to keep these from melting. Damn, this must have taken forever.”

  “Yeah…” Joan nodded slowly, like she was taking in the secrets of the universe. “Ooh, look at that one!”

The two of them went over to a sculpture of roaring waves with captured pieces of poetry within their depths. Joan ogled at the ice with great interest, taking the time to read every piece of paper inside. Anna patiently let her, smiling at her look of awestruck wonderment. She was glad she was distracted so she didn’t notice all the stares they were getting.

But Joan did. She had picked up on it from the moment they stepped inside. It seemed like everyone in the entire gym was staring at her like she was an alien from outer space. She did her best to ignore all of them, but she could feel their eyes burning holes into her skin.

She’s never felt so exposed before, not even in the showers last Friday.

  “Why, Anna von Cleves!”

A voice cut through the music and talking and laughter rebounding throughout the gym. Joan spun around and saw two people approaching them- a brunette boy with amber eyes, wearing a black tux, a silvery grey undershirt peeking out around the collar, and a blood red rose boutonniere, and a girl she didn’t recognize. She was taller than her date and had curled dirty blonde hair and grey-green eyes. Her dress was long and flowing, ebony black like the boy’s but dappled with silver specks like stars. The straps were thin and the bodice was gathered and fitted snugly against her bust.

  “George!” Anna embraced the boy tightly in one of those “man hugs” men always seem to do, rapping his back so hard it sounded a little painful.

  “You look good enough to eat, honey!” George whistled, looking Anna up and down.

  “Some would say I am delicious.” Anna said.

  “Okay, if you two knew how many people thought you were dating, you wouldn’t be joking about it.” The girl piped up, looking amused.

  “Tell Anna to stop looking so goddamn queer!” George chortled.

  “You know I always gotta look a little lesbo.” Anna said.

Then, George raised his fists and Joan flinched back a little. She flexed her powers, prepared to save Anna, but then Anna raised her fists, too, and began throwing playful jabs and poked at George’s stomach and chest. George did the same, and they began circling each other like two tuxedo-clad cats standing off against each other for a dead mouse. Joan realized that it was a game of sorts.

  “Don’t let it bother you,” The girl said to Joan. “If they kill each other, I’ll dance with you.”

Joan couldn’t smother the smile that came to her lips. She looked down shyly for a moment, then lifted her head again to watch George’s and Anna’s sparring match. Anna tagged George twice, then got jabbed in the waist. They kept grunting and gobbling playful threats to each other.

  “They’re too silly to kill,” Joan observed, tilting her head at them. “Like dinosaurs.”

The girl laughed and smiled, and Joan felt something warm flood through her.

Was this what delight felt like?

  “Joan,” Anna said. She and George had stopped fighting and she now had an arm around his shoulders. “This is my best buddy, George Boleyn! And this is his girlfriend, Jane Parker. She goes to Chamberlain.”

She didn’t go to Kingston. So maybe that’s why she was being so friendly.

Joan liked it.

  “George, Jane, this is Joan.” Anna continued.

  “Joan, hi,” Jane smiled down at the girl.

  “Joan!” George exclaimed. “Oh shit. Hey, can I just personally apologize for all my sister’s bullshit? I wish I could say she isn’t always like that, but…” He trailed off with a dry laugh.

  “Wait…” Joan began to put the pieces together. “George Boleyn… You’re Anne’s brother?”

George laughed. “Yup. The youngest of the bunch. We have an older sister in college named Mary. She turned out pretty okay.”

  “...I’m sorry.”

George burst out into even louder laughter. He shook Anna’s side, wiping a tear from his eyes.

  “Oh, Anna, I love this girl!” He said.

Joan blushed dark red, ducking her head. Anna grinned at her.

  “She’s great, isn’t she?” She said.

There was a light touch on Joan’s shoulder, warm and soft, easy for her to shrug off if she wanted. She turned her head to see that it was Jane’s hand.

  “I love your dress,” Jane said. “Where did you get it?”

  “I made it.” Joan told her.

  “Made it?” Jane gaped, looking the length of the sparkling silk gown up and down. “No shit!”

Joan blinked a few times, then echoed, “No shit.”

Jane laughed. Anna grinned even more. Joan felt like a sinful little rebel.

  “You really made that?” George asked.

  “Oh, now who’s queer?” Anna said, earning her a smack on the arm.

  “I did.” Joan answered George. “I like to sew.”

  “You have got to teach me sometime!” Anna said. “I tried before but it didn’t turn out so well. A sweater somehow became a snake warmer.”

They all laughed. Joan felt glee bubbling up inside of her the longer and longer she talked to Anna and her friends. It was so nice to be a part of conversations and share her talents with other people.

  “Yeah, of course,” Joan said to Anna. 

  “Hey, ladies,” Said a heavily sneering voice. “And Anne’s brother.”

Maggie, Maria, and a boy came gliding over. Maggie was wearing a pure white toga with gold lace to fit the Greek theme, while the boy, tall and tired-looking, was in a maroon tux. Maria wore a bright tangerine orange dress that had no sleeves and was loaded with fake jewels to make her gown sparkle.

  “Hello,” Anna said. There was a sort of warning in her voice, like she was daring the three of them to try something and see what happened.

  “Joan!” Maggie exclaimed in a very forced friendly voice. “Wow. You look so...different!”

Joan struggled not to squirm. She didn’t like the way Maggie was looking at her, like she was being sized up. Jane stood tall beside her, a protector of sorts, narrowing her eyes at Maggie.

  “Thanks,” Joan mumbled. The bedazzled gems encrusted on Maria’s dress caught her attention and she looked at her in wonder. “Wow… You’re so shiny.”

Maggie snorted. “Shiny?” She said. “Joan, what are you talking about?”

  “You made The Human Tide,” Joan went on, ignoring her. She lifted one of Maria’s hands in her own, tracing the lines on her palms. “Passion and lust, envy and yearning, wrath and guilt…” She looked up at her, eyes shining. “Did you put some Sylvia Plath in there?”

  “What?” Maggie said uneasily.

  “I-I did,” Maria stammered in an oddly rapt way. “I didn’t think anyone would have noticed… Nobody ever understands my pieces.”

  “I’m very observant,” Joan stated. “Charles Dickens and Edgar Allen Poe and lines from the Odyssey…”

  “Okay, not you’re literally just saying random names.” Maggie said. She looked at the others. “What is going on?”

  “Shh.” George shushed her, earning him an evil glare that he deftly dodged around Anna.

  “It was very beautiful.” Joan said, releasing Maria’s hand.

  “Thank you,” Maria said, wide-eyed. “That--that means a lot. Thank you.”

Joan smiled at her. She looked at Anna in a sort of glance of approval and Anna grinned back at her.

  “This is so fucking weird,” Maggie hissed under her breath, the swept away into the crowd. Maria and her date lingered around.

  “Oh, hey,” George suddenly said to the boy in the maroon tux. ���I know you from...Trigonometry? You’re William, right?”

  “Yeah,” The boy, William, nodded.

  “Where’d you get your dress?” Maria asked Joan at the same time.

  “She made it.” Jane said.

  “I made it.”

Maria looked Joan up and down, sort of like Jane did, then said, “Shut up!”

Joan flinched slightly and bristled. “You shut up!”

Maria laughed. Anna set a hand on Joan’s shoulder to relax her, chuckling slightly.

  “Really, you made that?” Maria asked.

Joan nodded. “It’s a really simple pattern. I also got the fabric really cheap.”

  “Wow.” Maria said. “Give it a twirl!”

  “What?”

  “Twirl your dress!” Maria specified, then demonstrated, spinning in a shimmering circle of orange and silver. “Like that!”

  “Oh--” Joan blinked. “Okay.” She twirled for them.

Maria gasped loudly. “LOOK AT YOUR ASS!!!”

Joan yelped and leapt backwards against Anna, eyes bulging. George burst into laughter. William leaned to the side slightly to get a look and nodded in approval. 

  “Now THAT’S queer!” George chortled.

  “Okay, after seeing your ass, the whole ‘nun in street clothes’ thing is no longer acceptable.” Maria said to Joan.

Joan’s bewildered expression does not lessen. In fact, she looked even more confused and startled after hearing that. Jane leaned down to her and whispered, “It was a compliment.”

  “You’re glowing,” Maria said. “You really do look great, Joan. So different!”

Joan blushed shyly. “Thank you.”

Someone gently took Joan’s arm. “Let’s go find our table.” Jane said, and began guiding Joan through the crowd. “Yikes. Why is everyone acting so weird around you?”

  “I’m not--usually like this.” Joan said. “All nice and pretty and dressed up. I’m kinda weird…”

  “I like weird.” Jane said. “It makes you special.”

Joan ducked her head to hide her bashful expression. Jane chuckled.

  “Here we are!” They stop at an empty table that was coiled with ivy and violets. Three candles flickered on the tabletop. Anna and George caught up to them.

  “They’re really trusting us with real candles?” George said, peering at the small flames. “Not the best decision they could have made.”

  “How are you doing?” Anna asked, sitting down next to Joan. “Feeling alright? Need to go out and get some fresh air? I know parties like this can be a little much. With everyone packed together and whatnot.”

Joan’s heart fluttered in her chest. She’s never had someone be so worried about her before. Anna genuinely cared about how she was feeling.

  “I’m okay,” She answered. “It’s a lot, though. I’ve never been to a place like this before. It’s amazing.”

  “It’s not so bad once you get used to it,” Jane put in. 

Joan nodded. “I hope I’m doing okay. Again, this isn’t really my crowd, you know?”

  “You’re doing great.” Anna told her. “Trust me.”

  “Joan?” A voice called.

George leapt to his feet instantly and dragged Jane with him to go visit with another table, saluting Anna and Joan as he careened away. The remaining duo blinked, then realized what he was fleeing from.

It was Miss Aragon.

The gym coach appeared from the crowd in glistening swathes of gold, like an angel descending from heaven. Her dark brown hair was elegantly curled, framing her makeup-covered face perfectly. The dress she wore was smooth, with no wrinkles or frills, and had short sleeves so her muscles could be revealed to wandering eyes. A black pendant hung around her strong neck, glinting like polished onyx in the light.

  “Oh, Miss Aragon!” A smile came to Joan’s face the moment she saw her favorite teacher. “You look incredible!”

  “Thank you.” Miss Aragon said. “You look beautiful.”

Joan ducked her head humbly. “That’s very nice of you,” She said. “I know it isn’t true, but thank you anyway.”

Miss Aragon and Anna both ruffled slightly at that.

  “Don’t be modest,” Miss Aragon said. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

Joan blushed. “Thank you… Really, thank you.”

  “Hey, Miss Aragon!” Anna said to the coach.

  “Anna.”

Joan blinked and glanced back and forth between the two of them. Why did Miss Aragon look so threatening? Why did Anna look slightly nervous? Was there something going on that she didn’t know?

  “You guys want some punch?” Anna said briskly, standing up. She smoothed out her tux and straightened her flower crown. “I heard Henry and Francis spiked it.” She snickered.

  “Oh no,” Joan said in a woebegone voice. “Isn’t it dangerous to drink spikes? What if someone chokes?”

  “Really?” Miss Aragon said to Anna at the same time.

Anna laughed, then noticed Miss Aragon’s unamused, deadpan expression. She stopped instantly.

  “Uh-- No.” She said. “I’m joking.”

Miss Aragon’s expression did not change. Anna cleared her throat, then sidled off towards the food temples. Miss Aragon rolled her eyes and sat down next to Joan.

  “So,” Miss Aragon smiled at her. “Is it everything you dreamed?”

  “It’s nice.” Joan said.

Miss Aragon laughed. “Just nice?”

  “It’s like being on Mars,” Joan admitted. “Now that I’m here, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do.”

  “I remember my prom,” Miss Aragon mused. Joan tipped her head in interest. “I went with the captain of the basketball team. She was six foot seven inches tall!” They both laughed. “So, I went out and bought a pair of these Stiletto heels so the kiss goodnight would be less awkward. Anyway, we went in her pickup truck, which of course broke down, so we had to walk the last half mile to the prom.”

  “Oh no!” Joan gasped.

  “By the time we finally got there, my feet were so blistered that all I could do was just sit there. I was sure I ruined the night, I couldn’t dance, but you know what? We just sat there and talked for hours. And it turned out to be one of the best nights of my entire life.”

  “Wow,” Joan said. “I’m so happy for you, Miss Aragon! I’m sorry you couldn’t dance, though.”

  “Could have been worse,” Miss Aragon shrugged. “There was this one girl whose boyfriend brought a toy gun so he could pose like James Bond in the picture.”

  “Oh,” Joan giggled, despite not knowing who James Bond was. “He sounds like fun.”

  “Yeah,” Miss Aragon nodded. “He was arrested.”

Joan stopped giggling instantly. Miss Aragon chuckled.

  “But it’s okay.” Miss Aragon said. “It’s just a dance. Not that special.”

Joan nodded. Her gaze began to slide back to the party around them, to the mass of writhing limbs that was the dance floor. Mostly everyone was dancing or talking, but she spotted a few people staring over at her and whispering to each other. Some glanced away when she noticed, pretending they weren’t gossiping about her, while others didn’t even try to make it seem like they weren’t talking behind her back. She turned her head towards them fully, unable to look away, and felt fear and shame bubbling back up inside of her.

(Mama was right Mama was right Mama was right Mama was right)

Miss Aragon smothered those thoughts for her.

  “Are you excited for summer?” Her coach asked. Joan turned her head back to her, successfully pulling her attention away. “Then you’ll be in Year 12. One grade closer until graduation!”

  “I don’t know,” Joan admitted. “Graduation makes me nervous. I don’t even know what I want to study.”

  “That’s understandable,” Miss Aragon said, nodding. “I couldn’t wait to graduate.”

  “Really?”

  “Oh yeah,” Miss Aragon said. “I hated high school.”

  “Oh, god.” Joan leaned in. “I do, too. I know you’re not supposed to say that, but I do. I hate it. I hate it so much.”

  “Preach it to the choir.” Miss Aragon said. “No offense.”

Joan smiled slightly. Miss Aragon took one of her hands and stroked the knuckles with her thumb.

  “Just remember,” She said. “Nothing that has happened will matter after graduation. Nothing. Except, you know, things like good grades and studying. You take what you want and leave the rest behind. You don’t even have to see any of these people again if you don’t want to.”

  “I don’t?”

  “No.” Miss Aragon said. “Oh, but I highly recommend the ten year reunion.”

  “Why?” Joan asked eagerly.

  “Everybody’s different. People will say, ‘Oh my god, so-and-so hasn’t changed a bit,’ but they’re LYING.” Miss Aragon told her, a devilish smirk twitching on her lips. “Everybody changes. And not always for the better.” She scanned the crowd, her smirk curving fully. She leaned into Joan, subtly nodding towards a trio of girls in insanely expensive dresses. “Like, those girls over there? Right now, they’re at their peak. They will never be more pretty or more popular, and in ten years, they’ll be fat.” She snickered. “And the fat girls, some of them will be thin, and the cute boys will be bald. The jocks will have beer bellies-- it’s fantastic!”

Joan dissolved into giggles and had to cover her mouth.

  “And the ones who were miserable?”

Joan stopped giggling. She watched Miss Aragon nervously. Her hand was squeezed comfortingly.

  “They turn out just fine.”

A grin came to Joan’s lips and she didn’t try to stamp it down. 

(i’m okay i’ll be okay)

  “They do,” Miss Aragon said, squeezing Joan’s hand again. “So enjoy yourself, and try not to take it too seriously. Everything is going to be okay.”

Joan vaulted into Miss Aragon’s arms, unable to hold herself back. Miss Aragon chuckled and hugged her back, cupping the back of her head to her chest with one hand and rubbing up and down her spine with the other.

  “Thank you,” Joan whispered.

  “Anything for you, sweetheart.” Miss Aragon told her.

  “Woah,” A voice said. “I better not catch you hugging any other girls like that!”

Joan and Miss Aragon parted as Anna set two cups on the table, grinning.

  “Have a good talk?”

  “Uh huh,” Joan nodded.

  “We did.” Miss Aragon said. “And on that note- Anna. Can I speak with you for a moment?”

  “Sure.” Anna said, sounding slightly guarded.

Miss Aragon smiled at Joan and kissed the top of her head before standing up. She took Anna by the arm and guided her away, far out of earshot from Joan.

  “Having fun?” Miss Aragon asked. Her voice wasn’t nearly as loud as the blasting music, but the biting words still cut smoothly through all the noise.

  “Yeah,” Anna nodded. “Yeah, I am. I think Joan is having fun, too. She’s making a lot of progress!” She looked over her shoulder for a moment, seeing that Joan was pulled over to one of the desert tables by Jane and George. George put some whipped cream on a brownie, then handed it to Joan, who observed the canister seriously for a moment and then promptly sprayed herself in the face. She dropped the can with an alarmed screech and tottered backwards as laughter erupted around her. She was laughing, too.

  “That’s good,” Miss Aragon said, smiling fondly at Joan as she was trying to wipe her face off. “I just thought you should know,” She turned her smile to Anna, “that if you show Joan anything less than the time of her life, I will personally see to it that you are expelled.”

Anna gaped at her, mouth hanging open slightly. All the color drained from her face. Miss Aragon narrowed her eyes dangerously, leaning in.

  “Do you understand the words that just came out of my mouth?”

Anna swallowed hard and nodded. Miss Aragon smiled again.

  “Very good.” The coach said, pleased. “Now go get back to her.” She caught Anna’s arm when she tried to walk away. “Oh, and wait for a slow song to dance with her to. She’ll look stupid dancing to anything fast.”

Anna nodded again and was released. She scampered back over to the table, glancing over her shoulder at the coach as she went.

  “Everything okay?” Joan asked as Anna sat back down.

  “Yeah!” Anna answered. “Yeah, don’t worry.” She looked up as a slower song by Billie Eilish began to play. “You wanna dance?”

  “No.” Joan said instantly.

  “Oh--” Anna blinked. “Alright.”

  “Sorry…” Joan hunched her shoulders in. “Maybe later. But not right now, please? I still wanna get settled in completely.”

  “Yeah, of course,” Anna said. “We can just talk, alright?” 

  “I like that idea.”

  “So…” Anna shifted in her seat slightly. She looked Joan over, then plunged into a question she really hoped wouldn’t upset her date (and make her have to retake Year 13 when Miss Aragon found out), “If I may...how’d you get those scars on your hands?”

  “Ah--” Joan coiled her scarred hands into her cowl, looking embarrassed. “Um-- It’s really stupid…”

  “No, no, no--” Anna caught her before she could tuck herself back into the shell she was just starting to come out of. “Hey, why don’t I tell you one of my dumb scar stories?”

Joan looked up at her in interest.

  “Okay, so--” Anna looked around like she was making sure no one was around, despite there being dozens of people all around them. “I have this little hole in my lower stomach because when I was eight, I put a pencil in my pants and it stabbed me when I went to pee.”

Joan instantly burst out into laughter. It was such a pleasant sound to hear coming out of her, slightly high pitched and adorable.

  “Really?” She sputtered out.

  “I swear to god!” Anna said, laughing with her. “You can’t really see it anymore, but you can feel the indent of where the hole is. I also have this bad boy,” She rolled her left pant leg up enough to reveal a giant, faded burn scar on her inner thigh. Joan ogled it.

  “What happened?” The younger girl gaped.

  “When I was 13, me, my younger sister, and my cousin were riding around in a golf cart. My cousin was driving, and he ended up turning in a cul-de-sac way too fast, flipping the entire golf cart on my side. I hit the asphalt and, since I was sitting next to my cousin in the front, that whole loaf fell onto me, breaking his fall and letting him come out completely unscathed. I, however, got this burn.”

  “Wow…” Joan murmured. “Were you scared?”

  “At the time, oh yeah,” Anna said. “My sister wasn’t moving at all. I thought she was dead. So we got a helicopter air lift to the hospital. That was pretty neat!”

  “You aren’t...ashamed of it?” Joan asked softly. “Your scar?”

  “I used to be,” Anna admitted. “But it’s a part of me, you know? It’ll only look worse if I try to get rid of it. Besides, it looks pretty cool, and it's not like anyone sees it that often anyway. It’s always too cold to wear shorts.”

Joan nodded. She unconsciously traced one of the webs of scar tissue lacing across her left hand. She looked up at Anna with courage in her eyes.

  “I stuck my hands in fire.”

Anna raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

  “Uh huh,” Joan nodded. “I found a picture of my father and my Mama threw it into the fire. I tried to grab it and burned myself pretty badly in the process.” She splayed her hands open, revealing the entire spider web of burns to Anna’s eyes. They were white than her already-porcelain skin, like someone had tried to paint over them. “They used to look really bad. All red and peeling a lot. But they’re gotten better, I think.” She rubbed her rough palms together.

  “Wow.” Anna said. “That’s pretty metal.”

Joan looked at her strangely. “They’re not metal? This is skin.” She looked down at the scars.

Anna laughed.

  “So… Did you know him?”

  “Hm?” Joan looked back up at her.

  “Your father.” Anna clarified. “If I may. Did you know him?”

Joan shook her head. “No. He left when I was just a baby.” She paused for a moment, then added, “I have his eyes.”

  “Oh,” Anna said. “I mean, I’m glad the rumors aren’t true. Not that him leaving is a good thing, it absolutely isn’t, but it’s better than people saying--”

  “My Mama killed him?” Joan finished. She looked up at Anna thoughtfully. “I don’t think she did. But you still never know…” She shook her head and rubbed her palms against her dress. “Can we--go outside?”

  “Need some air?” Anna asked.

  “Yeah,” Beads of sweat were welling up on the crown of Joan’s head. “It’s getting kinda hot in here.”

  “Come on.”

The two of them slipped out of the prom through the door that fed into the rest of the school. It was much cooler in that hallway and much quieter, with only dim storm lights turned on overhead. They walked a few paces down until they got to the entrance hall. They sat down on the huge main staircase.

  “Are you okay?” Anna asked, gently touching Joan’s arm. There was worry in her eyes.

  “Yeah,” Joan answered, nodding. “Trust me. I just need to get away from all that noise for a moment.”

  “Gotcha.” Anna said. “It was getting pretty wild in there.”

Joan nodded again. She was staring forward, looking out the huge windows all along the entrance way of the school. The sky was completely black now, even with the layer of clouds, and sheets of drizzling rain could be seen sparkling in the outside lights.

  “So…” Anna said, hoping to ease back into some small talk. “What do you want to study in college? I know you’re only in Year 11, but I’m curious.”

  “Oh, I dunno,” Joan shrugged. “Is sewing an option?”

Anna laughed slightly. “I’m not sure.”

  “What about you?”

  “Something with agriculture,” Anna told her. “I kinda wanna be a game warden. I like animals. A park ranger would be cool, too. I could get an entire tower all to myself!”

  “That sounds scary.” Joan said. “Being all alone in a tower in the middle of the woods...”

  “Don’t put it like that! You’ll crush my dreams!” Anna teased. “I actually thought about being a singer at one point, too. Can you believe that?” She snorted and shook her head.

  “A singer?” Joan echoed. “Can you sing?”

  “I like to think I can.”

  “Can you show me?”

Anna blinked, slightly shy. “Right now?”

Joan nodded eagerly.

  “What would I sing?”

  “Your poem!” 

  “What?”

  “Your poem, silly.” Joan said again. “It’s basically a song, you know. Just give it a rhythm!”

  “Oh.” Anna blinked. “Right. Okay.” She cleared her throat meaningfully. “Let’s see…

An eagle's just another bird

Until he can spread his wings

A river's just a sheet of ice

Till winter turns to spring,”

Her voice came out husky and smooth, like molten caramel. Each word flicked languidly off of her tongue, dripping easily into open ears. Joan watched her in amazement and great interest and then, shockingly, began to sing the next few stanzas.

  “And though the clouds may block the sun

Don't mean that it's left the sky,”

Joan’s voice was soft and slightly raspy, but higher pitched and easy on the ears. It was light and airy and pronounced each word with silky gentleness. Anna was so startled from hearing it that she faltered for a moment. Joan giggled at her bewildered expression.

  “What?” She asked.

  “You sing beautifully.” Anna blurted.

Joan blushed. “Thank you. I hope you don’t mind. Your poem was just so amazing that I sorta kinda memorized it… Sorry.”

Anna blinked at her in amazement. Nobody had ever been so interested in any of her writing pieces before, not even Katherine.

  “No, no it’s okay!” She said quickly. “That’s so cool. That you like it that much. It means a lot to me.”

Joan smiled. “I’m glad.” She said. “Now, what was the next part?”

  “Umm… Oh!” Anna cleared her throat again, then began singing once more, 

“Just when you think you've seen it all

There's more than meets the eye,”

  “Like, things I dream,”

  “And things I feel,”

  “There’s more to me,”

  “Than I reveal,” The harmony they pulled off together was like nothing Anna had ever heard before. Her deep alto and Joan’s light soprano mixed together beautifully, sounding like liquid sugar in their ears.

  “And cause I shine in quiet ways

I'm someone you don't recognize,” Joan sang, a smile twitching on her lips.

  “I’m a diamond in the rough

A dreamer in disguise…”

They finished in another chilling harmony. Joan beamed at Anna. Anna smiled back at her brightly.

  “That...was incredible.” Anna breathed. 

  “I know!” Joan exclaimed gleefully. “We sounded SO GOOD! I didn’t even know I could sing like that!”

Anna had never seen her so energetic before. Even Joan never felt this way before, so happy and at ease. She must have come out of her shell a lot more than she thought.

  “You’re great, Joan.” Anna said. “We should really hang out more often! Are you free tomorrow by any chance? Katherine, George, Jane, and I were going to have an after party at my house. We have a pool!”

Joan looked absolutely thrilled to be invited. “I would love to go.” She said, eyes glowing. “Do you really mean it, Anna?”

  “Of course!” Anna said. “We were also going to watch a few movies, too. Have you ever seen Star Wars?”

  “No.”

Anna gaped at her in shock. “Really? You’ve never seen a single Star Wars movie before?”

  “We don’t have a TV at my house.” Joan admitted. “What is Star Wars? Is it, like, World War I in outer space?”

Anna burst into laughter. Joan blinked at her in a delighted way.

  “Now I REALLY have to show you!” Anna said, wiping an eye. “It’s a date!”

  “Yeah,” Joan said excitedly.

They hung out on the main staircase for a little bit longer, discussing plans for the next day and Anna giving Joan permission to wear one of her bathing suits (since she didn’t have her own), then ventured back into the prom.

  “I still can’t get over how pretty it is,” Joan said as they walked past a sculpture shaped like temple ruins. “It’s like a dream. A perfect dream.”

The plants were one her favorite parts by far. All around her there were glorious purple exploding star-shaped flowers, delicate pale orange orchids, clusters of petals the color of bananas, odd little orbs in ruby red and sapphire blue. Hanging moss and trailing vines and reaching willow were like curtain doorways to new parts of the prom in all shades of emerald green. And then, there was the tree glowing brightly among all the greenery.

It was so much more beautiful up close. Joan could see all the little details in the pure white trunk, which must have taken forever to get just right. The globes hanging from the branches were the same icy blue as her eyes, she realized, and she blinked at them in wonder. Was the color really that beautiful? 

Looking closer, she noticed something in the hollow of the closest globe. A rolled up piece of paper! In fact, several of the globes had one or more, folded or rolled up to sit inside. There was also a small brown table next to the tree with pens and pieces of paper for anyone who wanted to write something. George was currently doing just that, looking very dutiful as he did so, while Jane waited by his side. She noticed Joan and Anna and perked up.

  “There you guys are!” She said. “I was wondering where you went.”

  “Sorry,” Anna said. “We just went out to get some air. What are you guys doing?”

  “Making wishes,” Jane told her. “That’s what the tree is about. You’re supposed to write a wish or desire on a piece of paper and then put it into one of the fruit things.”

  “So the decoration committee can laugh at you when they read all of them after prom,” George added as he was writing. “So don’t mark your name. And hope your handwriting doesn’t get recognized.”

  “Wanna write one?” Jane asked.

Anna nodded, then nudged Joan questioningly.

  “Sure,” Joan said.

They went over to the table George was hunched over at and each took a pen and piece of paper. Anna thought for just a moment, then began writing something, while Joan hesitated a little bit longer.

She had so many wishes that she thought about all the time. Being adopted into a nicer family, Mama loving her like a normal mother would, having friends, finding her father, getting a kitten… There were so many things to put down, and so little room, so, after a moment of deciding, she wrote, “I wish to always be happy like I am now.”

She rolled her paper up like a scroll and tucked it into an empty globe. Jane did the same, then Anna, and then, finally, George.

  “So, what did you guys wish for?” George asked as they walked back over to their table. “Because I wished for something practical. Money.”

  “I should have known,” Jane chuckled. “I wished for an easy, hopefully painless transition into college after summer is over.”

  “Eternal love,” Anna said.

  “A pet cat,” Joan lied, feeling too sappy to say her actual one.

  “That’s a good wish, that’s a good wish,” George nodded in approval.

The four of them began to chat for several minutes, discussing summer plans and swapping funny stories. Joan didn’t have much to share, seeing as her life wasn’t exactly very easy to bring up in a lighthearted conversation, but Anna, Jane, and George each made sure she was included. She was perfectly happy with just listening quietly, but actually getting to partake in the talk felt like an honor she didn’t deserve.

  “What about you, Joan?” George had been asking. “Got any embarrassing secrets?”

Joan thought for a moment, sifting out several way-too-dark things to share. 

  “I can’t swim,” She finally admitted.

  “Woah, really?” George said. “I thought everyone learned how to swim.”

  “Where? In school?” Anna snorted. She turned her head to Joan, eyebrows furrowed. “I guess that makes tomorrow’s pool party a little unfortunate, huh?”

  “I still wanna come.” Joan said quickly, afraid the opportunity will be taken from her. “I agreed regardless, didn’t I? And I’ll be okay. I just had a bad experience with water one time, that’s all. It’s been years, anyway.”

(the tepid water and her wrinkled fingertips marked the end of her bubble bath. Mama just checked on her, but her patience had doubled since then. she called for Mama to help her out of the tub, but Mama did not respond. she tried twice more but she heard no returning calls. she decided that she did not really need Mama’s help; she was five and a big girl. 

the slippery acrylic tub and her misplaced feet resulted in her arm roughly slicing on the sharp faucet. a metallic and unknown smell engulfed her. all she saw was red, just like candy apples. so much red falling from her arm and coloring the bathwater. unexplainable fear and pain overcame her. she started to cry and within seconds, Mama was standing at the door.

she had always been beautiful, but the flour smeared on her face and the stress lines present on her features did not do much for her. the sheer horror on her expression scared her further and transformed weak cries into wailing screams. Mama appeared white as a sheet as they stared at each other, motionless. the tub water was noticeably darker when she started to feel a painful sensation shooting down her arm. in a flash, Mama was carrying her onto the sink counter, swaddling her in a towel that turned crimson red almost instantly. Mama was wearing her special apron and bore a grim look on her face.

Mama left for just a moment, then returned with something gleaming.

there was no warning given before Mama started putting a needle and thread through her skin. it reminded her of sewing a dress together. she can only feel a light tugging, but it did not quiet her cries. Mama finally cut the thread after what felt like forever. the cuddles she got after that were like angel hugs. she thought she should hurt herself more often.)

  “What happened?” George asked with great interest. Jane lightly whacked his arm.

  “Don’t be pushy.” She chided him, then looked at Joan. “You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, hun.”

The pet name sent flickers of pink flames glowing on Joan’s ears. Her heart fluttered wildly inside of her chest, like a butterfly flapping its wings for the first time.

  “Well--”

(the shower. the blood in the water like when she was five. her blood. girls all around her laughing, throwing things, humiliating her.)

  “I was twelve, and I snuck away from home to this Christian summer camp because I wanted to make some friends,” She said. “That, of course, went south, and all the kids participated in a game where they would dunk me in the pool until I started drowning.”

Silence filled the table. Joan instantly felt guilty and lowered her head.

  “Sorry…” She mumbled. “I-I shouldn’t have…”

  “I’m so sorry, Joan.” Jane looked sympathetic and concerned. “That sounds awful.”

  “Those kids are awful.” George corrected her. “I’m sorry, too.”

  “Me too.” Anna nodded. She gently took one of Joan’s hands and squeezed it. “That’ll never happen ever again, I promise.”

Joan smiled at her. “Thank you.” She wanted to dive into Anna’s honey brown eyes and catch the reflected flames in there. She wanted to tell her and George and Jane how much this meant to her.

Suddenly, Anna’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out, but kept her other hand holding Joan’s.

  “Oh, it’s Kat!” She said to the other three. “She’s asking how the night is going.”

  “Amazing!” George declared. “Really amazing! Isn’t this prom the GREATEST?”

Jane tipped her head at him and smiled, and Joan realized that THAT was what it looked like when someone was in love.

  “It is amazing,” Jane agreed.

  “Yeah,” Joan nodded.

  “I’m gonna send a picture to her,” Anna said. “Come on, guys! Everyone get in!”

They all huddled together, even Joan, who got snugly sandwiched between Anna and Jane. Anna snapped a picture and then sent it to Katherine, along with a quick text telling her how things were going. By the time she finished, the music had changed into a slow, soothing song, and couples began to group together on the dance floor, including Jane and George.

  “Oh--” Anna looked up with a smile. “It’s a slow song, Joan.”

Joan froze, her eyes widening. She began shaking her head, but Anna was already standing up and gently taking her hands. She pulled them back quickly.

  “No, Anna, I can't--” Joan stammered nervously. She glanced at all the couples dancing, noting how smoothly they moved, and couldn’t possibly imagine herself swaying among them. She would be much too clumsy. “I’ve never danced before.”

  “That’s okay,” Anna said dismissively.

  “No, no, Anna--” Joan’s fear was mounting. This was where everything went wrong, this was where things got messed up, this was where her perfect night fell apart--

  “Hey.” Anna knelt down in front of her. “It’s going to be okay. It’s just one little dance, and all we do is hold each other and sway. Just like everyone else is doing.”

Joan glanced at the dancers again. It didn’t look too hard…

  “B-but what if--”

  “Shh,” Anna carefully adjusted Joan’s flower crown so it would be straight again. “Everything is alright, Joan. Nothing bad will happen. Remember: if anyone laughs, I kick their ass.”

That got a tiny smile from Joan. Anna smiled back and lifted Joan to her feet, guiding her onto the dance floor.

  “Okay, so you’re going to grab my hand like this. See?” Their right hands clasped together in the air. “And then set the other one on my shoulder.” Joan’s left hand rested on Anna’s shoulder, while Anna’s gently cupped her waist. “And then we sway…” They swayed. “See? It’s easy. You’re a natural!” 

Joan smiled shyly up at Anna. She glanced around them, and realized mainly everyone was too absorbed in their partners to notice she was dancing with them.

  “And...if you wanna get fancy with it…” Anna smirked. “We can do the Dancing With The Stars move.”

Joan had no idea what that was, but it still sent lightning bolts of anxiety shooting through her.

  “N-no, Anna, no, I can’t--”

  “Shh, shh, shh,” Anna hushed her gently. “Just trust me.” And then she stepped back slightly and spun around slowly so her arm would be draped across her torso and Joan would be pressed against her chest. Joan looked up at her with a mix between an amazed and deer-in-headlights look. “See? Easy! Wasn’t that fun?”

Joan nodded wordlessly, lost in her wonder. Her icy blue eyes were sparkling like starlight twinkling on fresh snow. Anna gently uncoiled her and they got back into position.

  “You’re a good learner.” Anna told her partner.

  “Thank you,” Joan whispered, ducking her head. “Can I spin you?”

Anna laughed. “Sure.”

Joan spun Anna, but ended up twisting their arms quite painfully before the full rotation could be complete, so they had to break away and come back together with unknotted muscles. They both laughed.

  “Good first try!” Anna said.

Joan giggled.

A serene silence fell between the two of them as the music went on. They swayed together like a white and pink boat drifting on the quiet waves of the ocean at night. The rhythm they rocked to was conducted by years worth of longing and desire from Joan’s part, and now it was all blooming before her. Everything she’s ever wanted was happening. Friends, a fun night away from home, people who actually give a damn about her… She could feel tears of joy pricking in her eyes and she quickly blinked them back.

  “Do you really have to be home by eleven?” 

Anna’s voice, smooth and caring and not a bit cruel, cut though the singing playing from the large speakers set up. Joan looked up at her. It felt like she had just woken up from a nap, that the music had lulled her into sleep and she slipped away into a blissful dream. But it wasn’t a dream. This was real. The bodies rocking around her and the beautiful decorations and her perfect dress and Anna’s hand in her own--it was all real. 

  “Yes,” Joan said, processing what Anna had asked her. She frowned. “I’m sorry. I promised.”

  “No, that’s okay!” Anna said quickly. “It’s just that after prom, a few of us were going to go to--”

  “OKAY.” Joan said, pulling away and hugging her hands in close. 

Anna blinked. “Um. What?”

  “No, no, if you want to go off with your friends, I understand. I-I-I don’t want to spoil anything.” Joan sputtered out, feeling her heart sink back into the black abyss it had finally climbed out of for the first time in fifteen years.

  “What I was going to say was,” Anna said, taking Joan’s hands again and pulling her back against her. She began to sway again. “If you’d like to, after prom, we could stop at the Blazer for awhile.”

Joan blinked. She suddenly felt embarrassed about how she had jumped to conclusions so easily, that just goes to show how much she truly trusted Anna, but Anna didn’t seem to mind.

  “I’ve never been there.” She said, unsurprisingly. She didn’t go to many places.

  “They have the BEST fries!” Anna stated, grinning.

  “I’d love to.” Joan said.

  “Then it’s decided!”

A smile was starting to come to Joan’s lips, one that felt like it would stay there for the entire night no matter how hard she tried to smother it. After years of vicious bullying and constant teasing and unfriendly looks, she suddenly found herself wrapped in attention and warmth. Anna or Jane or George didn’t hate her or were afraid of her like Mama had said at all. More than that, they seemed to actually like her. They were talking to her and being nice to her and making her laugh, and none of it seemed forced in even the slightest way. They were making her forget, for all these hours, how miserable she had been and how miserable she truly was. The pain was numbed.

For once in her life, for the first time in fifteen years, she truly felt happy.

  “Thank you.” Joan whispered, breaking another few peaceful seconds of silence between them.

  “What for?” Anna asked, tilting her head slightly.

  “For everything.” Joan clarified. “For taking me to prom. For the limo. For being so nice to me.” The tears were coming back, but she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to blink them back this time. “I know you don’t like me like that, and I know it’s only one night, but…” She looked up at Anna, her eyes sparkling. “I’m glad I got to be your date tonight.”

  “Me too.” Anna said, taking Joan by surprise.

  “R-really?”

For a moment, Anna frowned at her disbelief, but then she shook her head and chuckled slightly. 

  “Of course,” She said. “I’m having the best time with you.”

  “B-but what about Katherine--” Joan stammered, her voice catching in her throat.

  “Katherine isn’t here right now,” Anna said, wiping away the tear that rolled down Joan’s left cheek. “Tonight, you’re all that matters to me. I’m going to make sure this is the best night of your life. And the nights and days and everything else after that. You aren’t alone anymore, Joan.”

That’s what broke Joan.

The girl whimpered, bottom lip quivering, and a cascade of sparkling silver tears began pouring down her face. Anna cupped the back of her head and brought it to press into the crook of her neck for security. Joan cried steadily, thanking her over and over again through squeaking sobs.

  “How about this?” Anna said when Joan began to quiet down and was able to pull her head back. Her makeup was slightly smeared, but Anna still thought she looked amazing. “We dance for a little longer, see what poor fools get elected as prom king and queen, and then head to the Blazers for a bite to eat. And I’ll have you home by eleven.” She smiled warmly. “How does that sound to you?”

Joan nodded.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” Joan squeaked. “Maybe eleven-thirty…”

  “Whatever you want.”

  “Eleven-thirty.”

Anna smiled even more. “Wonderful.”

They fell into blissful silence as the song began to wrap up. Joan’s eyes were starting to sting, but she didn’t care. She tucked her head underneath Anna’s chin and rested her head on her chest, relaxing. Anna swayed them both gently, acting as a protective barrier that Joan never wanted to be away from.

The song soon ended and the two of them parted. George and Jane bounded over to them, with George grinning his head off and tapping his feet energetically. Jane rolled her eyes at him fondly, then smiled at Joan and Anna.

  “I saw you guys dancing,” She said. “You were really good for your first time! This one,” She jerked her head at George, “tripped on MY FEET and dragged me to the ground when he fell the first time we danced together.”

Anna and Joan laughed. George was not fazed by his girlfriend spilling embarrassing things about him. In fact, he seemed a little proud.

  “It’s going to be funny to tell our kids one day!” He said.

  “Oh, you,” Jane rolled her eyes again and poked his nose. “Oh, Joan. Your makeup smeared.”

Joan blinked and lifted a hand to her face. “Oh dear,” She murmured in dismay.

  “Not to worry!” Jane waved a hand. “I have some makeup in my car. I can help you fix it.”

  “Really?” Joan said. “Thank you.”

  “No problem, lovely!” Jane said. She gently took Joan by the arm. “Anna, I’m going to borrow your girl for a moment. George, don’t do anything dumb.”

  “Yes sir!” George beamed. When Jane and Joan whisked through the crowd and out into the parking lot, he sighed lovingly, “I love her so much…”

Anna laughed and patted his back. “I can tell!”

Meanwhile, in Jane Parker’s blue Hummer, Jane was dutifully applying fresh makeup onto Joan’s youthful face and thinking back to some of the things she overheard Anne Boleyn saying about her when she was over at the Boleyn residence to hang out with George. The young girl before her didn’t look ugly at all, despite what Anne had said, nor did she look like a freak. Her eyes may be a strange color, but they were the most beautiful shade of blue Jane had ever seen before.

Jane suspected that, deep down, Joan actually enjoyed the kind of pampering she was giving her in the car, despite the distrust in her eyes as Jane drew near with a mascara wand. Not that she needed anything more, but still. Little Miss Five Minute Skincare had obviously missed out on a lot of the girly stuff that had saturated Jane’s existence since birth.

It made sense, though. From the rumors she heard and from everything Anne griped about, she didn’t have a normal upbringing like most people should have. Something much darker lurked beneath those silly stories.

Something terrible has happened to this girl.

And, judging by the “hideous” hand-made flannels Joan apparently wore quite often to school, her mother hadn't been much of a fashion mentor either.

Once Jane had achieved the smoky eye effect she wanted, she applied some gloss to Joan’s lips. The girl had quite an amazing tone to her mouth. Pity it was drooped in a sullen pout at that moment.

Jane leaned back to admire her handwork.

  “Well?” She adjusted the rear view mirror down so Joan could see her reflection. “How does it look?”

  “Pretty…” Joan murmured. “But it feels like I have dirt on my face.” She pouted adorably again.

Jane laughed. “Makeup has that effect, unfortunately.” She said. “But you look lovely. Now, come on, let’s get back inside.”

They journeyed back into the prom, chatting idly as they went. Joan was smiling again, but her hands kept twitching like she wanted to rub her eyes. This was probably the first time she’s ever worn mascara, Jane realized.

  “Wow,” Anna murmured breathlessly when Jane and Joan got back to their table. Even George looked a little starstruck at the newer, better makeup applied to Joan’s face.

  “Do I look alright?” Joan asked shyly.

  “Better than alright!” George said.

  “You look beautiful.” Anna added. “Gorgeous.”

Joan blushed bright red. “I’m glad.” She said. “Because this black stuff is making my eyes sticky. And itchy.”

  “That’s mascara, sweetheart.” Jane corrected her.

  “It’s AWFUL.” Joan said. “Do girls wearing makeup always have to feel this? How do they do that? I’d rather pluck all my eyelashes out!”

Jane, Anna, and George laugh. After a moment, Joan joined them, giggling.

  “I’m going to go grab a drink,” Anna said, parting from the group and going over to the bufett temples.

  “Excuse me?”

Anna spun around and found herself facing a young woman, maybe a Year 12 or Year 13, with tassels of red hair and striking smoky grey eyes. Her dress was scarlet, accenting her hair perfectly.

  “Sorry,” She said, smiling slightly, “I just had to ask before I made a fool of myself. Are you two a couple?” She nodded in Joan’s direction.

  “What? No!” Anna barked. The laugh came out more harshly-sounding than she meant, making her instantly guilty. But she was right- she wouldn’t date Joan. She was too young for one, and for another, she was already with Katherine.

The redhead was devouring Joan as the girl giggled over something George was saying, effortlessly adorable.

  “No, we’re not a couple,” Anna found herself repeating as the redhead purred her appreciation. “But Joan” Anna couldn't resist. She really wanted Joan to open up to new people. “…Joan’s a total stud.”

God, that felt a lot weirder to say than she expected. She did NOT like that.

  “Really?” The redhead’s gaze shot to Anna’s face and then back to her object of attraction. “Joan?” She teased the name with her tongue. “God, she's cute. Do you think I have a chance?”

Anna shrugged and sipped her drink to stifle a giggle. To be honest, she didn’t actually know. She had never ever seen Joan with anyone romantically before, making her believe she was a raging asexual or mother-superior-in-training.

The reality was that Joan was left tongue-tied by male and female nudity alike. Two years into high school gym, and Anne would say she STILL averted her eyes when changing out with other girls in the locker room. She was just hopelessly shy when it came to all matters sex-related.

  “She may play hard-to-get.” Anna finally said.

  “Ah,” The redhead nodded slowly. She chuckled. “Thank you.” Then, like that, she glided back off into the mass of writhing limbs that was the prom. Anna respectfully waited ten seconds after she left to snort her laughter.

  “You’ve got some fans, Jo,” She said, walking back over her friends.

  “What?” Joan blinked up at her innocently.

  “I think someone has a crush on you.”

Joan’s face flamed red instantly. She stammered on a reply, but all her words came out squeaking.

  “O-oh.” She choked. “Nice?”

Anna chuckled and patted her head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it was nothing. And you can always say no.”

Joan nodded. A second later, the music switched to an upbeat Lady Gaga song. George began to bound excitedly.

  “Oh, I LOVE this song!!” He yelled. “Let’s dance!”

Anna glanced at Joan, who appeared to be a little more confident at dancing. They all moved to an emptier spot on the dance floor and began to dance.

  “Come on, Joan!” Jane encouraged, noticing that Joan was just bobbing her head to the beat of the song. “Shake that bony white ass!”

Joan was flabbergasted at that, but was motivated to get a little more into the song. Anna, Jane, and George all clapped and cheered for her as she did so.

Unbeknownst to them, Maggie watched on with Bessie at her side. Bessie’s amethyst purple dress went with her bleached white hair surprisingly well, but Maggie wasn’t sure if that was intentional or not, seeing as Bessie’s head was filled with quite a few moths. Anthony was somewhere in the crowd near the food temples, lost in the cluster of black tuxedos so much like his own, fetching drinks like Maggie had asked.

  “God, just look at them.” Maggie sneered in disgust, watching Joan dance like an idiot and Anna, Anne’s younger brother, and Anne’s younger brother’s girlfriend actually make it seem like they liked her. “Couldn’t you just vomit?”

  “I can’t believe Anne is missing this.” Bessie said, wide-eyed. Maggie definitely saw flickers of longing and jealousy in her dark brown eyes; she wasn’t exactly very subtle with her big gay crush on Anna von Cleves.

  “Trust me, doll,” Maggie said dismissively. She shot a smirk at the stage. “She isn’t missing a thing.”

[izzy-b-hands]

Auld Lang Syne

Some poly!Queen, based off my own frustration that I fell asleep hard at like ten last night, and didn’t make it to midnight for New Years (I didn’t wake up till nine this morning, y’all. Like what even was that, the one night my staying up should have been easy to do lol.) 

Quick synopsis: Everyone falls asleep before midnight except for John. And normally that would be whatever, but it’s New Years, and he’s not happy about being the only one awake for this night. 

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

“I cannot believe you all,” John puttered around the living room, mugs of tea balanced in his hands and the crooks of his elbows. “Asleep! With two hours to go!”

“And awakened by nine in the morning,” Freddie grumbled, though he took the mug with an appreciative smile. “What a world.”

“Yes!” John continued. “You lot are never the ones to bed early, and the one night it counted-”

“With all respect,” Brian interrupted. “It’s only New Years, Deaky. By definition, we will all go on, and things will be okay.”

The wrong thing to say, quickly apparent with John’s scoff and the dumping of Brian’s tea into the nearest plant.

“Was that really necessary?” Freddie sighed. “That plant is fake, anyway...”

“I’ve been watering it for at least a month,” Brian whined. “When were you going to tell me that?”

“You didn’t look at it?” Freddie laughed. “It’s obviously fake.”

“In his defense,” Roger interjected. “I have also been watering it. I thought it might be fake, but I didn’t want it to die and upset anyone if it was real, so...”

“So if it was real, we would have killed it anyway,” Brian muttered.

“I’m glad the plant is worthy of your attention,” John didn’t shout, but his voice carried out the open window, loud enough to stop the conversation their neighbors were having outside. “Let me know when I am as well, will you?”

He was in the spare bedroom with the door slammed and locked before they could so much as blink.

“I think we fucked up,” Roger mumbled. “In my professional opinion.”

“Professional opinion?” Freddie asked.

“As someone who’s had his fair share of fuck ups,” Roger replied.

Freddie nodded. “I agree. But all the same, I feel like I’m missing something. He didn’t seem all that into celebrating last night; I figured he’d be the first asleep anyway.”

“That’s true,” Brian noted, and they could see the wheels in his head turning. “But, think of it like this. He did organize the little party for us. Bought groceries. Bought the champagne. Had it all ready for us as we each got home.”

Freddie set his mug on the coffee table and ran a hand down his face with a sigh. “We fucked up.”

“Yeah,” Brian winced. “We did.”

---

It wasn’t that he held any great love for any holiday (except maybe Christmas, that one wasn’t terrible.) But he had put so much work into New Years this time, and they had seemed to be enjoying it. They’d all been a bit pissed, but surely even drunken promises to stay awake for two more hours meant something, right?

“I’m being an ass,” John muttered to himself as he paced the room. What had he been hoping for anyway? Something stupid and overly romantic, something he didn’t normally concern himself with too much. But it had stuck in his head a few weeks prior, the idea of trading kisses right on the hour (they were boyfriends after all, even if their relationship together was often low-key, easily mistaken for and hidden as only friendship when necessary.)

And when midnight had struck, they’d all been passed out. He’d fought so hard to stay awake for them, and they seemingly hadn’t even tried to stay up.

“Get over it,” he grumbled to himself again. He wanted to let himself shout it all out to the walls, as he’d done in the past when he was the only one in the flat, but he certainly couldn’t do it now, even if keeping it in his head made him feel overwhelmed, his mind overfull with thoughts. “You’re just tired anyway, you were up until fucking midnight.”

It had actually been more like two in the morning before he’d gotten to sleep himself. He’d left them in the living room, draped on the floor and in a chair and on the couch. The idea, as upset as he’d been that night, even more than now, was that he would enjoy taking the bed from them. It barely fit all four of them anyway (hence the spare bedroom, with its own decently-sized bed), so it wouldn’t be luxurious, but it would be all his.

Instead, he’d tossed and turned (and if he was honest with himself, cried for a short while) and when he did sleep, it wasn’t restful at all.

He stopped pacing and let himself drop onto the bed. Maybe a nap would be reset enough, to quell the fire in his head over something that, even as he was upset over it, he knew was stupid.

---

“John?” Freddie knocked at the door of the spare bedroom, but heard nothing in reply. “He’s holding a grudge, apparently.”

“He is good at those,” Roger said softly. “Let me try?”

They exchanged places, and Roger leaned against the door. “Deaky? We’re sorry, we are. We didn’t realize this was so important to you. That’s on us; we’re stupid like that sometimes. But that’s no excuse, and we’d like to apologize proper and make it up to you.”

Nothing.

“Did he mention something he wanted to do last night, and we were too pissed to remember him saying it?” Roger hissed to them.

Freddie and Brian shrugged. If John had said anything, they certainly didn’t remember.

“Talk to us, at least,” Roger continued to the door. “We can’t help and make it better if we don’t know the details of how we fucked up. And I really am sorry, but we only have a glimmer. We know you must have had something planned for New Years, but we don’t recall what it was, and I admit, that’s terrible. If you can bear it, tell us what it was, remind us, and we can try and fix this.”

Still nothing.

Roger looked utterly gutted. “He always responds when it’s me. Why isn’t he saying anything?”

“I don’t know,” Freddie sighed. “Come on, the tea’s gone cold. We can make more, and Brian...”

“I’ll try,” Brian said, and moved past Roger to sit on the floor by the door.

He waited until they were off to the kitchen to talk. “John? I don’t know if you can hear me. I presume you can. I-”

He stopped himself. The words he had on his tongue were too angry, too frustrated with John for not communicating to them.

He took a breath. “I’m sorry. We did fuck up, and we’re all sorry for that. But you’ve hurt Rog now, you know? He thought for sure you’d reply to him, and you didn’t.”

A pause. He wanted to just shake the doorknob until John opened up, but all the same, he knew that would be both childish and totally useless.

“We want to make it up to you. Make things right. But we can’t do that if you don’t talk to us. Give us a chance to apologize. This isn’t like you, anyway. You have your quiet moments, but usually, when we fight-”

Brian leaned in closer to the door, a sound barely perceptible through it.

Snoring.

He had to laugh, he couldn’t help it, as he stood and walked to the kitchen.

“Glad this is so funny to you,” Roger frowned. “I know you and Deaky have your moments, but really-”

“He’s sleeping,” Brian interrupted him with another giggle. “He went in there to mope, probably got frustrated with himself over it, and fell asleep as soon as he lay down.”

“How do you know all that?” Freddie asked, fighting with their breakfast, for now just a few eggs in a pan. “Roger, can you help here?”

They switched spots, and Freddie met Brian’s gaze. “Seriously. You can’t just make presumptions and hope it’ll soothe things.”

“I’m not,” Brian scoffed. “I can hear him snoring. Go, sit by the door, and lean in close as you can. He’s out cold.”

Freddie walked past him and to the door, and returned a moment later with a smile. “Poor thing. How late do you think he stayed up last night, without us?”

“Everything was cleaned up,” Roger replied. “So too late, I would guess.”

“Get a plate out,” Freddie instructed. “We’re going to pick that lock and get him breakfast in bed.”

“You mean we’re going to wake him up when he needs to sleep, and force food on him?” Brian suggested.

“No, because you know that if he sleeps too long into the day, he fusses anyway,” Freddie replied. “Because then he won’t be tired enough to sleep later tonight, and he’ll just keep rolling like that, from one grumpy mood to the next.”

“Fair point,” Brian nodded. “We should find something to use as a tray...”

“We have one,” Roger said. “...wait, no. We did. The fake plant is sitting on it, I think. Didn’t want water to drain out of the pot and onto the floor...”

“Oh, but we are a foursome, aren’t we?” Freddie laughed. “If he sits up, and eats carefully, he can just set the plates on the bed.”

“I’ll go get the tray and clean it,” Roger said. “The plant doesn’t need it anyway, or so we now know.”

“I could swear I told you two it was fake,” Freddie noted, but Roger was already off to the living room, leaving him and Brian to tend the food.

---

In his dream, it was almost too much. He couldn’t even enjoy it, he knew it was a dream.

They fawned over him, well beyond anything anyone would do for him in real life (and to a degree that made him uncomfortable.)

Freddie, naked in his lap, trying to get him to sip champagne from an overfull glass.

Roger, clothed only in the tiny rugby shorts he occasionally shared with Freddie, offering him toast on a plate. Just toast, oddly enough.

Brian, a telescope in hand, nearly forcing him to look through it. “It’ll fall at midnight, you know.”

“What?” John’s tongue felt fuzzy in the dream, heavy to move, but maybe champagne in dreams was just stronger. “The moon?”

Brian nodded. “If you want it to.”

“I think we need it up there,” John replied. “For tides, and things like that.”

Brian shrugged, and handed him a plate with scrambled eggs on it.

“What is this for?”

Brian shrugged again, and pointed to the moon. “There it goes!”

He watched the moon dip down, falling to land who knew where, its light dimming as it fell.

A panic rose in his chest, and though there was nothing he could do to stop it falling, he felt he had to try.

Before he could get up, trying to gently push Freddie off his lap, Freddie handed him, of all things, a mug of coffee.

“What in the fuck is going on?” John asked him, but Freddie didn’t reply, his gaze falling on their front door.

The knob shook and wiggled, and the sounds of someone trying to pick the lock suddenly came through clearly.

---

“This alone might wake him up,” Brian laughed. “We’ve done this before, how is it taking so long this time?”

“Says the man holding the tray, not trying to get the lock open!” Roger muttered as he fought with the lock picking kit and the door.

“I’m helping in the best way I can,” Brian replied, playfully miffed.

“And you?” Roger asked of Freddie, who was barely holding back his own giggles.

“I...am moral support. I believe in you! You can do it!”

“You don’t remember how to use this kit, do you?”

“I do not,” Freddie replied confidently.

“Delightful,” Roger shook his head, but he giggled as he kept on at the lock.

The door swung open, and took him with it, onto John’s feet.

“Good morning!” Roger chirped, muffled as he picked himself up. “We’ve brought you a ‘we’re very sorry’ breakfast! It’s still warm, even.”

John’s eyes jumped over each of them a few times, their faces showing how eagerly they were awaiting his reaction.

He burst out laughing. He couldn’t help it. All he could think of was them in his dream, half clothed and offering him breakfast.

“Um,” Roger said softly. “It isn’t that bad. I mean the eggs look a bit rough, but that’s because Freddie helped with them-”

“I did my best!” Freddie interrupted. “They’re scrambled anyway; they aren’t meant to look a masterpiece.”

“If you settle back in bed,” Brian interjected, peeking past them to John. “I can set this down, and you can eat, and we’ll go away again.”

“No,” John sighed. “You don’t have to go away. Did you make enough for yourselves?”

“Yeah,” Roger replied. “Mostly because I kept forgetting to do less than what we usually make. It’s habit, you know?”

John nodded. “Let me eat out there with you all. This was very sweet though, I’ll say that.”

“Not till you say what we did wrong,” Brian stammered, seemingly surprised at himself, shrugging as Brian and Roger looked to him with confused frowns. “I mean. We could just smooth things over with breakfast, but that doesn’t really make it better, does it? We should work through what actually happened, or rather didn’t, since we fell asleep last night.”

John shook his head. “Was stupid. And I didn’t help things; I didn’t really say to you all what I was expecting. You couldn’t do what I didn’t tell you I wanted.”

“Fair, but I doubt it was stupid,” Roger said. “What was it?”

John blushed bright red. “Just wanted a kiss from each of you when it hit midnight. God, that sounds stupid out loud, doesn’t it? How old am I? Like some damsel in a movie, or something...”

“Hang on,” Roger reached over and pulled him close, then dipped him down and kissed him, even as he giggled.

He brought them back up with a snap, apparently struggling not to just tip over. “Sorry. That was kind of shit, but best I can do at this time of the morning.”

John grinned. “It’s nearly noon.”

“Morning, noon,” Roger shrugged. “What is time, anyway?”

Freddie nodded, and motioned for John to come over to him. The kiss was soft and sweet and still tasted slightly of champagne. “Not midnight, but I think it still counts.”

Brian smiled, then frowned at the tray still in his hands. “Can I set this down before I have my go? I don’t want to spill coffee on you or something.”

“Here,” Roger took the tray from him, and nodded for Freddie to follow him. “We’ll be in the kitchen, getting the rest ready. Freshen up the coffee and tea as well, all that.”

Brian’s kiss was as gentle as Freddie’s, a hand holding the tip of John’s chin up.

“Can I ask you something?” John murmured as the kiss ended.

“Sure,” Brian smiled.

“Would you watch the moon fall, let it fall, if I wanted it to?”

Brian blinked, clearly confused. “I suppose I would. If it’s falling out of the sky, chances are good something serious is going on anyway, whether you caused it or not. I couldn’t stop it, and the effects would be monstrous, so if it would make you happy-”

He paused, and nodded. “Yeah. I’d watch it fall with you.”

John hugged him tightly. “Good. That’s what I thought.”

Brian still looked baffled, but he smiled and welcomed John to his side as they walked to the kitchen, towards the sounds of Freddie and Roger running amok, and the scent of just-starting-to-burn coffee.

[kemonododo]

Decided to rewatch the whole series after seeing the finale, here's my thoughts as they come along part 3

There was an old He-man reboot that was cancelled after two seasons, season 3 was being set up as the horde conquering Eternia with He-man and his kingdom being forced into hiding as rebels. Apparently She-Ra would also appear, though knowing that show she'd be lucky to be 1/4th as interesting or engaging as our Adora. I'm saying this because, even though that cartoon was cancelled before it could finish it's story, we were lucky enough to see ours to it's end and in a way that story they wanted to tell exists here with us now. Plus I always disliked that they called themselves "The Rebellion" when they weren't really rebelling against anything, but they are now!

Poor Adora, even after all this time she still has that hero complex eating away at her, telling her she's useless unless she's serving others.

Entrapta's ramblings about space this season are very relatable.

Catra's face when she sees Glimmer be manipulated, you can see so much behind her eyes. Fear for her standing, flashbacks to her own manipulation, shock at how unprepared Glimmer is for this. Love how Horde Prime sees right through her afterwards, she has no power over him.

Poor Entrapta, she hasn't been with the other princesses since season 1, they're opinion of her has been soured by her betrayal and appearance to not care. We know she loves her friends and is trying her best, but the wound is still sore.

Horde Prime using Glimmer's dad as a bargaining chip is extra horrible when you remember that this is when she discovers he's alive.

It's great that the show takes a moment to allow Adora to come to grips with no longer having a clear destiny she can follow. She's so used to being told what to do, this is the first time she's truly making her own decisions. Agency that Shadow Weaver begins to take away from her later.

I love Catra's internal struggles in these first few episodes. She's trying to do what she's been doing, working her way up the ladder, but she can't. Not anymore. Her heart isn't in it, she knows this isn't what she wants, she's just going through the motions. Spending time with Glimmer is the only thing she enjoys, she finally slows down for a moment to just enjoy someone's company and really bond. Her turn to good isn't a 180, we see her mind working and how she comes to the decision of sacrificing herself. Seeing that Horde Prime is a complete psychopath helped of course.

I love how Horde Prime's ship has star themed beds.

I don't know how they did it, but they made Hordak recognizable among the other clones. It's like twins, once you get to know them the difference is obvious. You can look at a clone and see he's Hordak, yet he looks identical to the others. It's remarkable.

These flashbacks Catra has, wandering the empty corridors that her decisions have left her in, it's a testimony to how far she's come that they don't reaffirm Adora's betrayal to her anymore. She wants to absolve herself of her sins, and she decides a sacrifice is the best way. She wants to go out on one good grace, redemption by death, but that action and her apology is what makes Adora sure she still has good in her. Catra has shown she is willing to be good, and that alone is enough for Adora to give her another chance.

This is the first time the best friend squad has been together since Glimmer pulled the queen card, a lot of the wounds are still fresh. I definitely think this is the point Bow and her truly realize they love each other, they probably had a schoolyard crush but the realization of where they are without each other and how much they mean to each other, something really deep sparked here.

The Star Siblings are here to show what life under Prime is like, but also as a quick show of the Rebellion's message expanding. That's a little underdeveloped though, which is mostly a product of time.

Adora's little "she's not my friend" bit is adorable but a bit out of place imo, Adora hasn't really been this outwardly lovestruck over Catra before, and while Adora has decided to give her another chance I don't think that reignition of love would have happened yet.

The thought that Entrapta went out to find that LUVD crystal to bring with her in the slightest hope she would find Hordak and that he would recognize it. Plus the noises she makes and the fact she immediately adopts Wrong Hordak and that we get to see her without her mask, ah she is so cute!

Hive Mind Catra is terrifying and tragic, it feels so violating. He talks about how she wanted Adora to save her, how afraid she was when she was assimilated. We see that numbness and how it would seem appealing to her, but under the cracks Catra is still suffering, and Adora promises to bring her back, tells her how much she cares about her, transforms into She-Ra to save her. And finally, they are together again.

I love Adora constantly checking on Catra, this is the first time in years she has been with her, she just wants to be with her. Catra starts falling back into her old ways though, that anger still persistent, and Adora's honeymoon phase is over already and for a second we're all afraid nothing has changed. You can see Catra doesn't want to make that mistake again, and she finally lets Adora help her, and likewise Adora finally steps back and lets Catra help her too. They've both grown so much, and that growth is what allows their relationship to blossom.

It's great that Spinnerella and Netossa get their time to shine this season. Their arc here parallels Catra and Adora's earlier, and I would say it's unfortunate they have to go through this, but I love the angst.

Double Trouble! Back for a five minute appearance where they admittedly don't do much, but hey they're fun to watch and have some great lines so it's worth it.

Catra in a healthy relationship, with friends that don't fear her and people she sees as equals. People she can just joke around with and be teased by. You love to see it.

Melog is a pretty important addition, as he gives Catra someone that she can fully trust without the baggage from before. He's literally her therapy support pet, and he's the one that stops her from running away again.

Shadow Weaver's little speech here is great, she's been told that the First One's made the magic stronger when they did the exact opposite. It's a commentary on colonialism, "we brought you civilization, our conquest was good actually" is a very common lie.

Catra holding Adora's hand, Glitra kiss, Best Friend Squad hug, Catra's smirk when Adora says she's right. You love to see it.

I love how Noelle made a self-insert character and also decided she should be evil. "So the only person I'm fighting here is... My own wife" is a mega ouch.

I love Wrong Hordak so much, he not only shows how the Horde Clones are just regular people without the influence of Prime but he is also ridiculously cute.

Did I mention how much I love the new She-Ra look? I liked the old one but damn this blows it out of the park.

I will admit the Heart having a failsafe a d Mara having a rebellion of her own is a bit out of nowhere, but it was a nice reveal of the origin of Grayskull.

I'm a huge sucker for friendship saving the day messages I admit. Not the rainbow lazer kind, but that love and kindness reaching through Prime's control is beautiful. Plus it's wonderful for Catra to see what real friendship is like.

This is a great little moment with Castaspella and Glimmer, this is the first time they've seen Micah since his death.

I love Shadow Weaver so much, she sees Adora and immediately shifts into child manipulation mode. This is the first time I'm actually getting pissed at her though, obviously because she's starting to drive her chisel between Catradora but also because she's reversing all the development Adora has had up until this point.

Hordak: "Go, then maybe these memories and imperfections will leave me " Entrapta: "Remember, your imperfections are beautiful!" The fuck I'm crying in the club again.

I love this Catradora moment, "what do you want Adora" "I have to do this". Obviously their relationship isn't going to be easy after all these years, and both these girl's flaws and insecurities are flaring up again and driving each other apart.

Adora tells off Shadow Weaver for good, she ruins people. This is a huge moment for this character, SW has convinced herself she is the good guy and that she is making the necessary actions to save the world, but this is the one moment she really looks back at herself.

"Adora chose Shadow Weaver, not me. Adora doesn't want me, not like I want her" oof ouch my soul. That with Adora's memories, it's clear they can't just go back to the way it was anymore. They're love is too important to them now.

My headcanon is that Shadow Weaver is drunk here. She's slurring, she's drinking, her daughter is going to sacrifice herself. Maybe her decision to die was one she made totally wasted lol.

Catra promised Adora she'd look out for her, and the soft version of the promise song in the background. Ow ow ow ow my heart.

Glimbow canon!

Mara is here, telling Adora the same thing Razz told her in the 3rd episode of the entire show. Stop looking for what other people tell you to do, you have a choice.

Spinnetossa, Seamista, Entrapdak. It's cliche, but love conquers all is a message I'll never tire from.

I started tearing up with the Glimmer Micah fight, and full on sobbing when Angella appeared. Something that didn't really stop.

I was mixed on SW's sacrifice, but I think it works. Each of them were trying to take the selfish way out, to die for the ones they love. So it's fitting that SW is the one that does it.

Fuck yeah Hordak! What a monumentous but short lived moment.

CATRADORA!!! God, the confession, how Catra whispers it but how Adora hears it as a scream, how it wasn't Catra that made Adora weak but infact the exact opposite, how they're both so surprised and relieved that these feelings they've felt for years are real and strong and true and reciprocated. It's the best conclusion possible for them and it makes me cry so much.

This beautiful moment, where Adora saves Hordak, the ultimate repayal for him saving her all those years ago. He remembers her. Fuck I'm sobbing again.

Scorpia sees Catra again after leaving her, and of course she hugs her.

And it's over. The best show ever made. Netflix automatically resets your watch history and here I am looking at the button to play Season 1 Episode 1 again. This 1 and a half year journey feels like a millenia, it feels so long ago that Adora first picked up that sword. This is a show I will cherish forever, I can see myself binge watching in the retirement home already.

[samrosemodblog]

Looking back at my art from the 2010s. I went through and picked 1 piece I drew/wrote from each year that I felt either showed off my best art, my most iconic art, my best improvement, or was simply a personal favorite of mine.

There were a lot of possible choices and it was kind of difficult to narrow it down to 1 per year, since each piece tends to encapsulate so much more than just a single moment per year. Especially with stuff like Motherly Scootaloo or Aria’s Archives encapsulating so much history in a single picture. But under the Read More are my choices at the end of the decade:

     1.) My Old Drawn Blog # 53

Man, the years before MLP existed were really weird for me. I knew I liked drawing and telling stories, but I had no consistent direction on what I wanted to do with my art. I was still jumping between different comics and ideas, and in 2010 I was going through some of the worst depression I’d ever felt in my entire life. I hadn’t even had the experience of being kicked out of the first place I tried to move out of home to yet. It was wild.

As for the ‘joke’ that seems ‘so obvious’ in this post, I had a running gag back then of the face the Flower makes, known as the ‘screaming window’ face. I drew it whenever I needed to draw something screaming in pain or fear for maximum comedic effect. Maybe I’ll bring it back some day lol

     2.) Silent Ponyville

I couldn’t NOT put Silent Ponyville on this list. I was gonna have both 1 and 2 as different spots, but I wrote them both in the same year. That seems insane to me now?? Like WOW, I just WROTE those fics and then they became fandom-wide phenomenons. To the point where even in 2019 I’m still getting people drawing fanart of it, or people telling me “Yeah, I got into Fanfiction because I read Silent Ponyville”.

I don’t know if I’ll ever make a creative piece as universally known in a fandom as Silent Ponyville again, but I sure would love to make an original piece of art that is as beloved as Silent Ponyville one day, if not more so. It’s a testament to the fact that if I put my mind to it, I can create a really amazing horror experience, and I know I do plan to do so again some day.

     3.) Pirate Dash x Dead Rainbow Dash

Who doesn’t love shipping wars that get large numbers of people involved? This is probably the second most involved in the ‘community’ I got, though it was certainly the better experience of the two. And it was all just for silly fun at the end of the day.

And funnily enough I never ACTUALLY shipped these two, I just thought the reactions from the creators seeing them be shipped was hilarious, so it just kind of grew from there. It was all fun and games at the end of the day, and made for a good memory, and a pretty dang ambitiously drawn pic for the time!

     4.) If Twilight Wasn’t a Princess

2013 was surprisingly sparse as far as ambitious projects or art pieces go. I was in full swing with Motherly Scootaloo, and nothing really ‘amazing’ happened in 2013 for the blog. Which was surprising. But Season 4 of MLP DID happen! And it started with the Princesses going missing, and authority over Equestria being transferred to Twilight as the next closest Princess around. And with Cadance ruling the Crystal Empire, I thought, who did that leave to rule if Twilight HADN’T been able to temporarily take the role?

And judging by the length of the comments section on DA, a lot of people found the idea hilarious as well lol. Blue Blood NEVER showed up again for the entire run of the show, and it’s a shame because there was a lot of hilarious joke potential they could’ve done with him. But ya know, the show is what it is is, and this joke still makes me laugh.

     5.) My Time

My first original music video, with a song I had commissioned and everything! While it wasn’t my first video involving music and MLP, it was the first time everything was mine in one way or another. I wish I could write music, but the ambitiously talented AllLevelsAtOnce and Queen Mickey the Sass Master made this project well worth the time and effort put into making it!

And of course, it encapsulates the kind of futures I wish the CMC had acquired, with Sweetie Belle finally achieving her foreshadowed talent of singing. Apple Bloom built the stage, and Scootaloo likely would’ve ended up the choreographer if not for her baby. Sadly we shall only ever have fanon for that.

     6.) Demonloo

Love or hate the wedding arc of Motherly Scootaloo, this will always be one of, if not my top, favorite panel from the entire arc. Scootaloo looks just so appropriately menacing, and the effects placed on her are glorious. And then of course, I love the little twist of “That’s not just an audience visual effect, she actually looked that way in the comic” rofl

Motherly Scootaloo was a trip that got weird with my inclusion of magic and magical beings from the show, so much so to the point that if I were to ever remake the whole thing one day, a LOT of that would be toned down. Probably to the point Chronus wouldn’t exist. But hey, things are the way they are, but I will forever love the art of this arc.

     7.) A Motherly Scootaloo Christmas

If there ever was a picture that basically summarized the entirety of Motherly Scootaloo, it was this picture. Pretty much ever major character of the stories over the years was in the picture (minus Starlight) and showing their relations to everyone pretty much. I remember this picture basically killing me when I was drawing it, but was really proud at the time of how it came out. Of course, I could see how to improve it now, but I’m not gonna lol

It’s still crazy to me how many years Motherly went on for, and how much time and effort was put into it. But I’m still glad I did all of it over those years. It taught me so much about art, and about myself, and in the end, taught me the skills I needed to make art a true career for myself. And I’ll always love it for that. And introducing me to the best friends I’ve ever had, of course.

     8.) Twilight-Midnight is PISSED

Look. I recognize the Aero crossover had some convoluted issues with it, but god DAMN if I didn’t enjoy drawing that fight scene! I GENUINELY loved every panel of it! I can only hope that in the future the fight scenes I draw will be just as fun to draw as these were. And as visually impressive!

That’s ultimately why this won my pic over say, the time-glitch arc with her Mom. The explosions, the action lines, the visual foreshortening, I’ve never seen such visual improvements in a single update from me quite like I have these entire scenes. When I push myself to be amazing, I can pull off some fantastic art, and I need to do it more!

     9.) A StarTrix Christmas

2018 had a LOT of really good choices. Like. Too many choices. So many art pieces I was super proud of, so many pieces that showed growth as an artist, was a personal favorite, that people loved... So in the end, I went with the piece from the end of the year that is still a piece I hold up as truly a cultivation of how much effort I can put in to a picture.

Also it’s Christmas related. I LOVE Christmas. Never enough Christmas.

And as much as I hate FriendLight Glimmer, I still ADORE StarTrix content. It’s the good food for me, one of the rare things that the later era of G4 got right for me. And since I can make them be however I want in fanon, making them a GOOD loving couple was top priority for me, and I just adore them together. I truly do. And this picture is beautiful because of the love I put into it.

     10.) Fate of the Lost Princess

I couldn’t NOT put Fate of the Lost Princess on this list. It’s too important to me, means too much to me, and shows my growth as an artist the most. And of the pages of Fate of the Lost Princess I have done so far, the piece of Tina and Noah on a bus stands out the most for me because, I ACTUALLY managed to make it look and feel like they were on a bus! I was so worried about this page and I spent so long working on making it look right, and in the end, I succeeded in a way I never thought I could!

It feels good to end the decade on my original webcomic, showing just how much I’ve grown as an artist. Going from a successful fanartist, to a successful original artist, that still does fanart on the side, but I’ve grown into my own person now.

I’ve lost track of how many times I tried to start an original comic, only to stop working on it and let it fade into obscurity. Fate of the Lost Princess is the most effort and work I’ve put into an original comic before, and I’m so proud of myself for not only getting as far as I have, but proud of how much effort I plan to put into it in the future, and how much effort I’ll put into the comics beyond Fate of the Lost Princess.

It represents everything that is me from the last 10 years, and I hope it’ll be the fantastic start of the 2010s I want it to be. And I couldn’t have picked something to be more proud of to wrap this decade up with.

[writing-for-amusement]

Commission for Confidence 3

Summary: Y/N has been struggling with her self-esteem for years. After incessant pushing from your best friend, Y/N decides to commission an artist to draw her, expecting everything to happen via Internet. However, when your phone is stolen, you try to cancel the commission, but Peter Parker has other ideas. He quickly becomes enraptured by you, and a friendship forms easily. Will it lead to something more? Or will your past fears get in the way?

A/N: Okay, like I said, I’m impatient. This is where it starts picking up! You finally meet up with Peter and get to talking. I just realized, admittedly a little late, that this is probably going to be a slow, SLOW burn fic. Lol, I really can’t help myself, can I? I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!!

Word Count: 2010 words

Taglist: @pparkerwrites, @scatterbrainedgenius

Warning: minor insecurity mention, mention of past therapy, slight anxiety

Chapter Three 

The next day, you got up and took a comfortable shower. Your apartment may be small, but it had wonderful plumbing and a shower/tub you could actually move around in.

With your laptop open on the counter, you cooked yourself a small breakfast and had The Golden Girls playing as you did. Then, despite knowing it was a casual meeting with a complete stranger, you agonized over your casual outfit for the late spring day.

Finally deciding on your favorite shorts and a comfortable Wonder Woman tank top, you looked in your mirror. Remembering what you’d always been told in therapy, you said three positive things about yourself: “My thighs are powerful and strong. I can lift heavy objects when I need to. My laugh is genuine.”

Satisfied with your little exercise in self-love (it was a process and some days were much harder than others), you brushed your teeth and styled your hair the way you liked it. With still time to spare, you gathered your things and finished your episode, chuckling at Sophia’s sharp insults.

As you left your apartment and locked the door, you tried to calm your nerves. You were always nervous when you were meeting new people, and this was certainly not going to be an exception. You were glad that you were getting coffee, as having something to hold in your hands would help you stop fidgeting.

On the subway, you overheard a few people talking about Spider-Man’s latest save. The superhero had been saving Queens (and other places) for years before you had moved there, but you still hadn’t seen him. You’d heard plenty about him, fun anecdotes from colleagues or people in shops, but you had never seen the superhero in person.

You thought back to the first time you’d seen anything about Spider-Man, years ago when the hero was just a YouTube star. And you recalled him helping Tony Stark and the Avengers at large, and his escapades in Europe. Still, after all that, he seemed to always call Queens home. It was, if anything, intriguing.

You arrived at the café early, though you had anticipated that. You always left home early when traveling into the heart of Manhattan, just in case there were accidents or delays. So, content with your extra time to yourself, you ordered your usual beverage and sat down with your laptop and a manuscript in your hands.

It was a little past 1 p.m. when you heard someone clear their throat to get your attention. You looked up, suddenly aware that you had the tip of your pen in your mouth, and then you saw a man standing in front of you with a cup of coffee and a bag on his shoulder.

He was definitely handsome. His hair was a medium brown with fluffy curls, but his eyes were a darker brown that you could see yourself getting lost in. And, as with most men, his eyelashes were unfairly long. He had a bright smile on his face, and it made your traitorous heart flutter; you could see his freckles. The man was obviously fit, his arms toned from what you could see; his nerdy shirt make you chuckle to yourself.

The general vibe you got from him was warm, kind, and accepting.

“Are you Y/N?” he asked you as he smile shifted into a grin.

“Ah, yes, that’s me!” you stuttered slightly, moving your stuff around on the table. “Are you Peter Parker?”

“Indeed, I am,” he stated, sitting in the chair next to you instead of the one across from you. You were occupying yourself with getting your things out of the way, and your normal apology left your lips.

“I’m so sorry, I generally spread out when I’m working on something good, I should have just left the work alone, so sorry,” you spewed, rambling nervous apologies.

You had a feeling that Peter Parker would be cute, but for him to be this deviously handsome and cute had you definitively flustered.

“No apologies needed,” Peter reassured you, resting his elbows on the table. “You really weren’t that spread out, especially not on such a small table.” He held his hand out for you, and you shook it, the warmth creeping up your wrist.

You chuckled nervously and shoved your pen back in your bag. “So,” you began gently, “how are you today?”

“I’m marvelous,” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee and glancing at you over the top of the cup. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m actually really good!” you beamed, thumbing your own cup. “I had a really good morning, actually. My commute was surprisingly sparse for a Saturday.”

“Where do you commute from?” Peter asked with a tilt of his head.

“Queens,” you replied, taking a sip of your drink. You were surprised and almost choked when Peter burst into loud laughter.

“We could have met up in Queens!” he explained as he finished laughing. The sound had made your heart skip, but you ignored it. “I live in Queens.”

You laughed lightly, saying, “Well, now we know!”

Peter finished laughing and watched you carefully. You sipped your drink and forced yourself to remain calm in the less awkward situation the man had created.

“You are just,” Peter paused, seeming to try to find the best word, “so cute!” he finished, making a gesture with his hands for emphasis.

You felt your cheeks warm and you looked away with a small chuckle. “Well, you’re pretty handsome yourself.”

“Thanks,” he blushed adorably.

Because of course he blushed adorably.

“So, tell me about yourself,” he requested, pulling a sketchbook out of his bag. “Hope you don’t mind if I take some notes?”

“N-no, not at all!” you reassured him. “Um, well, what would you like to know?”

“Everything,” Peter told you with a gleam in his eyes.

You blinked slightly before going into a stumbling explanation of your life. You told him about how you’d moved to New York for work, and that got you into how much you’d always loved reading about anything and everything (except math), and how you loved your job being an editor and helping budding authors and artists.

“I just recently started reading a draft about a society that revolves around plants and flowers, and it involves a lot of floriography, the meaning of flowers and plants, and it specifically talks about how this one expert is getting tied up between two mafias because both are asking for arrangements from them to send to the other as messages, you know—” you cut yourself off abruptly. “I’m sorry, that’s not important.”

“No, no!” Peter protested, giving you a reassuring smile. There was a glimmer in his eye that you couldn’t quite place, and you couldn’t see what he was writing. “I think it’s great. The way you talk about books and tell stories makes me want to read them. You’re a talented storyteller, Y/N,” he smiled.

You chuckled, taking a sip from your coffee, “I’ve always been a rather animated storyteller,” you admitted. “When I send videos to my friends on Snapchat, they get upset when they send out of order.”

“Tell me about a time where you were, oh, amazed by something,” Peter suggested.

You pursed your lips in thought. “I once got to hike on an island in the Pacific,” you began, thinking back on the memory. “It was for work, believe it or not, and I got to check out this amazing sleeping volcano. And as I stood at the top, looking out on a cove below, I couldn’t believe it. The sun was beginning to set, creating this beautiful sky over the ocean. It made me feel… small, but comforted, as if I was being hugged by a close friend. And, Peter, those colors, I think I cried.

“The sun created this magnificent amalgam of the softest of pinks, the most vivid of violets, and the sweetest of blues, all blending together in some sort of wonderful symphony of serenity. The orange in the sky, fading softly, was like an orange dreamsicle, at that point between frozen and melting. And the ocean, it glittered gold as if with thousands of fireflies gliding across the calm waves.”

You looked up to see Peter just watching you, perching his chin on his hand and regarding you with the softest smile you’d ever seen.

“What?” you asked, a small blush tipping your ears.

“Can I take you back to my place?” he blurted.

“What?!” you were shocked at his bluntness.

“For art!” he continued quickly, his face turning bright red and his eyes widening comically, almost like a cartoon.

You found yourself laughing brightly, your eyes closed in mirth and your head tilted backwards. You enjoyed spending time with Peter already, and you had only been talking for about an hour. He was a sweet guy, paying attention to what you said with the most beautiful light in his gentle brown eyes.

"Yeah, yeah,” he pouted, “laugh it up. I’m just going to sit here, embarrassed, and try to think of a way to redeem myself in your eyes.”

You managed to wrangle your laughter into small chuckles, covering your smile with a hand as you looked at the man across from you. Peter was pouting playfully, his arms crossed over his chest. It was obvious that he was joking, however, because he kept glancing at you and his lips twitched to stop him from smiling.

“How do I know that you’re not a serial killer?” you asked, tilting your head and regarding him in mock seriousness.

“Well then,” he leaned forward, meeting your eyes dead on, “perhaps Spider-Man will come save you.”

Your head tilted back again as you laughed, though not for as long as before. “You know, I’ve lived her awhile now, and I still haven’t even seen Spider-Man in person.”

“Really?” Peter was obviously surprised, with once again comically large eyes.

“Yes, really,” you confirmed with a nod. “I never seem to be around where he is at any given time. I hear stories about him, though, all the time. Heard some on the subway here. He seems like a nice guy, if a little reckless sometimes.”

“Reckless?”

You nearly rolled your eyes at his almost offended tone, but truly, he seemed more intrigued than anything else. “I saw a video of him throwing not one, but two cars at an enemy. That is, admittedly, a little reckless when there are tons of people running around, trying to get away.”

Peter seemed to think about what you said, having a conversation with himself in his head that was obvious by the shifting of his facial expressions. Finally, the man seemed to heave a sigh, and he nodded.

“Yeah, I guess he is a little reckless sometimes,” Peter nodded, as if he knew the hero personally. You almost asked if he did, but he changed the subject by continuing, “So, would you like to be a live model for me? I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

You pursed your lips and looked off to the side, pretending to think intently about the idea. You almost broke character when you say him shift nervously but managed to keep yourself in check. You should be an actress, you thought.

Finally, after what couldn’t have been more than a minute, you looked at Peter with a bright smile. “Alright, Peter, I’ll be a model. Though I’m sure I’m not anywhere near the prettiest model you’ve ever had, I’ll do my best.”

You both stood and you didn’t miss Peter’s furrowed brows at your comment. You hoped that he would drop it, as you were already regretting saying that you weren’t pretty. You knew that it wasn’t true, but oftentimes your anxiety and history of self-deprecation got right ahead of you. Today, you were actually doing okay, other than that one slip of the tongue that you’d uttered to a gorgeous man.

Then again, sometimes the smallest of things could set you back three years.

[theskyexists]

she-ra 4

the reason i stopped watching she-ra is the same reason i stopped watching the dragon prince.

the narrative doesn’t take the situation seriously. instead of leaning into the anguish of war and violence (atla, teen titans) - they make light of it. EVEN when the characters’ guardians are KILLED!!

when Angella died and they spent 2 seconds on Glimmer’s grief at the end of season 3 i was like......actually fuck this. HOW can i take any of these stakes seriously when they insist on brushing them off???

anyway just had to complain about that - especially because the start of the first ep of 4 is them joking AGAIN about something as grim as Glimmer now carrying all the responsibilities of her mother - who may i remind you IS DEAD

but catradora became canon apparently so now i have to struggle through

her aunt, her mother’s sister, is fuckin, joking about cakes, her friends are laughing at the joke. COME ON! how goddamn unrealistic and insensitive. EVEN if they wanna make a point of it - it’s silly! because the narrative PARTICIPATES in making light of the situation. if it was just the characters it would be less jarring

‘we’ll make sure this day is perfect’  WHAT? how could it EVER BE IF HER MOTHER IS FUCKING DEAD????????? AND THAT”S THE ONLY REASON SHE’S QUEEN????? ‘must be hard’ YEAH IT’S HARD - IN FACT IMPOSSIBLE. instead of pretending to be happy maybe you can show some genuine sensitivity. these people are so crazily emotionally underdeveloped my god. what age are they supposed to be? 16? 17? The problem that She-ra has (just like the dragon prince) is that there are no relevant adults. Oh sure there’s a Queen, and some Soldiers, and a Sorceress. But there isn’t a single relevant competent adult around who is concerned with running a bureaucracy or the emotional stability of children

I do like how Catra has overcome her fear of Hordak. but i think i remember being fuckin furious at her for almost destroying the whole world and hurting Scorpia and betraying Entrapta just to spite Adora. vaguely.

the rebellions problem is that they’re all extremely stupid himbos. like literally, in the whole story, only catra and shadowweaver have any smarts, while glimmer gains the ability to think during full moons on wednesdays. meanwhile everybodys is a slave to their emotions - which destroys any brain cells that shadowweaver or catra (or angella or anyone) might have managed. they could literally have killed hordak the entire time but just let him order them around because they’re so hot for acknowledgement

I’m glad Glimmer reflects my frustrations now hahahahaah

‘everyone is already acting like she doesn’t matter’  - yeah dudes, you fucking insensitive bastards

‘im supposed to take care of you glimmer’ - but unfortunately i have the emotional intelligence of a crab! FUCK!

this is another thing about this show that makes me groan. sappy quick resolutions of emotional turmoil through re-affirming the fuckin power of friendship in the first episode of the season.

also couldn’t Adora have done this she-ra stuff from the very beginning

that was badass.....miss glimmer’s other hair though. ok the emotions at that hologram and statue though...

the coolest part of she-ra for me is finding out more how the ancient systems all fit into Etheria and the She-Ras and Hordak Prime etc.

THIS IS A GOOD SPEECH. love this badass.

love Hordak getting put in his place. Love Catra realising she has power - love Hordak reaping what he sows. its unfortunate that she’s a shitty brat who JUST can’t get over her inferiority complex

if i could endlessly teleport i would do what glimmer does

also, glimmer was willing to fuckin murder catra before and she DEFINITELY will be now lol. love that for her.

why did they only introduce adora learning to transform her sword NOW ahahaha, theyve had SO MANY SCENES in which she doesnt have it and then suddenly does - and then its gone again

scorpia is the funniest and most likeable person in the whole show

they really suddenly can’t take five people on with she ra and fuckin huntara on their side??

i remember that little sadistic righteous twist in my stomach when Adora finally was like: FUCK!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Catra!!!!!!! and the stupid idiot got it

FINALLY A GLANCE AT THE PEOPLE OF ETHERIA AGAIN! i love the party sequences in this!!! the people of etheria are so beautiful! nobody ever comments on the main characters all looking plain human in contrast....

‘and i fell for it!’  yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

so first they quietly take out the guards....and then literally break open the door hahaahahahahaaha

‘we forgot the bots regenerate’ - yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

i just dont understand why they insist on making the main characters so DUMB ahahahahaah

Adora and Catra are great at hitting where it hurts. the difference between them is that Catra KNOWS that she’s hurting Adora - she does it deliberately.

wow that could be some pretty angsty stuff constantly leaving her to struggle on the floor while painfully electrocuted. Catra has also moved to kill Adora straight up so many times. im sure she really wants to (but it would destroy her later). But now, Adora swept something at Catra that might have actually killed her. I get Catra though, I would’t want to get beaten by some blonde, blue-eyed, glowing golden kid who always gets to win and do better. this is truly the first time Adora has moved to kill Catra......

does flatterina not have parents who’d be like: uhhhhh maybe leave the soldiering for a couple more years?

catra truly burning all her bridges. hahaha. it’s so satisfying to see her use her anger and power to truly destroy herself - because of guilt!

no other villagers were like - HMMMMMMM this random new kid is here? weird..... i didnt see that coming either.

Adora doesn’t think about what Catra might have even been doing there - cos she’s DUMB AS BRICKS

the interesting thing about this show is that they’re setting up a dichotomy. they’re treating war like a high-stakes game because they have the good side adhere to an aesthetic of ....magic. they will not make the two sides equivalent in any way - which makes questions of morality moot. the show is purely an emotional drama. the horde is an army of brainwashed kids in an industrial wasteland - they fight with tech and guns. but the good guys cannot fight with an army or tech, they fight with cleverness and magic. they’re called the ‘rebellion’ - they HAVE to be underdogs because they have to follow the script of good - even though what’s really going on is war, not a rebellion. That’s why they have a single strike team that do ‘missions’. They are presented as FUNDAMENTALLY different - on the level of identity which they cannot change lest they destroy themselves - and in that way the good guys can never become the bad guys. it is ALMOST meta. think they’re gonna do something with that at one point. i hope

also Netossa has such a super cool design.

‘everyone knows you’re needed in bright moon’ - uh. really? i dont know. some random person i’ve never seen before demands you go to meetings. so? is that important? why?

spinerella can literally FLY???????? why has she been in the background this whole time??? hahahaha military inefficiency.

there was an explosion that ripped trees apart - but bo’s alive!! honesty why didn’t they try explosive suicide bots before. they’re very lucky he was still alive to heal

‘could they be tracking she-ra?’ WHAT? isn’t the obvious suggestion - A SPY???? they just assume that the general is right hahahahaa.

i love how double trouble is so meta.

actually, why wasn’t glimmer trained as a sorcerer anyway?

glimmer is upset about her growing magic plants but not her having magic ingredients

why do they present good strategic thinking (for once) as evil influence from shadowweaver

what a fuckin badass. honestly - glad that this show finally utilised glimmer’s extremely op powers like they should be. honestly, she’s much more powerful than She-Ra.

that bit with spinerella was so contrived jfc.

‘by using me as a decoy’ adora says, pissed off. uhhhh YOU went off on your own to get smushed by fuckin bots adora. Glimmer didn’t do that to you. she just used your stupidity.

glimmer really left catra to die. hahahahaa

i like adora best when she’s on her own and being a dork

they definitely managed to foreshadow that Light Hope was evil but im glad they picked up the thread now

am i seeing this wrong or did scorpia have two mums??? but also. where the fuck are they

lolololololol because everybodys dumb as bricks and emotionally volatile they’re incredibly easy to manipulate

‘i cant risk hitting flatterina’ pffft - ALL YOUR ARROWS ARE NON-LETHAL BO. ugh i cant deal with these contrived stakes

I LOVE THIS BADASS EFFICIENT HARDCORE GLIMMER

they’re really gonna spin it like this is a bad development? fuck off. finally some grit.

‘you took things way too far’ - but she got results! dumb as bricks adora

(this may seem harsh but adora is DUMB shes so fucking DUMB!!!! and she has many good qualities (such as an almost innate sense of morality) but goddamn. i guess its good to sometimes have a show about all around dumb characters. i mean, it’s not unrealistic per se, it’s just.....weird.)

the interesting thing about these characters is that you can SEE every single one of them struggling with cognitive dissonance. thats the big story of this show. they see the world a certain way - and then when something challenges that, they fight to the death to destroy or deny or ignore that new information - to everybody’s detriment. and they can’t back down because every step they’ve taken - would turn to sins they can’t live with. it’s interesting and its also a kind of conflict that‘s frustrating if not resolved at SOME point. thats why i love this season for its characters going off the rails. adora aiming to kill catra, catra destroying her last relationships, glimmer growing more and more militant.

they’re all acting like teens - that  is - highly volatile - unable to keep from provoking others or be provoked - but they ARE teens.

‘catra doesn’t care. she’ll hurt people to get her way (implied: EVEN people on her side)’ - we must remember that Scorpia was entirely fine with KILLING the trio (it was Catra that wasn’t at the time).

‘you’re a bad friend’ OH OUCH. Catra - who’s always been treated as a whipping girl by those in power - does the same to those she is in power over. But on some level she doesn’t WANT to be that. she’s just always always been rejected and take advantage of and lashed out at and abandoned by the people she considered important (shadowweaver ---- doing the same to catra that was done to her is so goddamn....it’s the story of this show. the simplicity and banality of damaging and hurting others and that carrying over to harm even more people - is the story of this show and it’s immeasurably frustrating and REALISTIC)

she still flinches at Hordak’s lashing out. but she imprints on him the exact lesson she’s trying to school herself in. If you don’t need anybody - you don’t want anyone - if nobody matters but the mission and winning - then you can’t be hurt. she wants to prove her worth - but she doesn’t realise that inherently means that she’s putting somebody in power over her - again and again and again.

mermista coming  in clutch with the braincells: there’s a spy! I love how this is played as completely implausible and just Mermista nonsense (who i love learning about) - while it’s so obviously true/

i actually love Adora when she’s being serious and heroic, or a huge dork. and she has the wit to RECOGNISE good ideas. but i just don’t understand why Adora is being big b about being used as a distraction. like....why?

i love that the underside of Mermista’s sneaker has a figure. but why the fuck is a common soldier with them (flatterina) and do they really think they can interrogate the whole castle filled with some shitty guards and...what - the guerilla troops they sometimes employ? where do they even live? ah in a tent city. ok

why is the GENERAL in front line combat WITHOUT SOLDIERS???? oh wait. glimmer did that too when she was general. lolololol

i understand why Adora doesn’t trust Shadowweaver and doesn’t want her around most of all - and Glimmer getting buddy buddy with her is hurtful. but...it’s not helpful to needle glimmer about it. but dismissing the guards around shadowweaver however? stupid of Glimmer. unnecessary. ‘what has she done but help us?’ - uhhhh she kidnapped you, corrupted your powers, almost wiped Adora’s mind. I wish Adora had summed up those things instead of leaving them implied.

so perfuma and mermista come across inconsistencies in the stories - but then. forget about it? i just...... UGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. people really aren’t this dumb are they? they’re just NOT.

‘no more secrets and doing things without us’ - that was a good speech. but like, glimmer is right - she’s surrounded by INCOMPETENT IDIOTS lolololol. but good leadership is corralling idiots, Glimmer. not going off on your own. but she’s already planted the bait about the dining room.

‘we were the only ones who knew about the plan to take back dril’ ---- THEN WHY DID YOU INTERROGATE OTHER PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA

‘stop questioning my choices, stop whining about being a decoy’ YEAH FUCKIN HELL ADORA STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING SHIT. IS THIS REALLY ‘TAKING CARE OF GLIMMER’????

‘all you do is question my authority, it’s exhausting.’ yeah god...it really is. adora needs to fucking BACK! OFF! but im loving these fights because it brings out the grievances. Adora is right to be worried about Glimmer no longer including her in her decisions. and she makes a good point that that’s bad. She makes a good point that Shadowweaver cannot be trusted. And Glimmer makes zero good points - except that it’s been hard for her and has garnered 0.1% understanding from the people around her. Oh they were working together. BUT those were definitely real grievances.

GLIMMER CAN ALREADY DO A CONTAINMENT SPELL LIKE THAT??? godDAMN. castapella completely flunked her responsibilities to Glimmer but shadowweaver did NOT.

hmmm so Solinius was....destroyed. but like, did the people die? like....the people? that’s the important bit isn’t it? i mean, they were under the sea right?

i suppose the problem i also have is that this show will NOT hurry up. normally i love filler stuff but ...the characters are too.....cheery. too flat. their quirks are fun and funny until they’re literally character flaws.

are the horde just literally attacking civilians? jezus. the war crimes. how did shadowweaver ever expect to trick Adora when she was released into the field?

‘you can’t just keep going off on your own!’ - SHE LITERALLY SAVED THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN. SHE’S THE QUEEN! EVERYBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO HER! lolololol

the problem with Adora’s points is that everything about their dynamics are always so nebulous. why cant glimmer keep showing up to help out? WHY??? she’s the most capable fucking soldier in the field! she’s supposed to have full fucking authority! like, Adora isn’t in the right here. the problem is that her needling is only a symptom of her worries - which is that Glimmer doesn’t trust her any more. but the needling does NOTHING but make her seem like an idiot

i do love this trope reversal here - Seahawk deliberately damselling them to let the princesses save the boys? pffft

love catra getting the consequences for her actions regarding Scorpia. You can’t keep lashing out at people and expect them to stay my dear cat.....

oooohhh Glimmer.... you’re treading close to very hurtful territory. Blaming Adora for the Rebellion failing? for things she couldn’t do anything about? stupid.

really?? you’re really gonna fucking fight-resolution BLOCK ME? are you FUCKING kidding me? edging me for the whole GODDAMN SEASON??? and finally Adora cries at Glimmer going over the line????  fuckin I HATE the narrative decisions in this stupid show I FUCKING HATE THEM FUCK THESE WRITERS GOD FUKCING DAMMIT!!! this has been the whole GODDAMN SHOW!!!!!! ARGHGHGHGHGHGH

i’ve been waiting for a fucking resolution for Adora and Catra the whole! goddamn! SHOW! NOTHING! else matters! you do the exact same for glimmer and adora and now you let it fester again??? because of some no-stakes BULLSHIT? just give me the fucking godddamn PAYOFF for watching these kids be IDIOTS.

this fight on the boat is COOL and really wonderfully animated

really? Glimmer’s response to Adora being hurt and not wanting to be TOUCHED is to be angry herself? what a fucking IDIOT. god i can’t stand this. I CAN’T STAND IT

is this how people act? do they never take a moment to breathe and think and reflect and realise their priorities and take a step back and fucking apologise?

jezus FUCKING! CHRIST!

‘no matter what glimmer thinks of me’ oh that HURTED. oh damn. that’s so relatable. it’s a way to run, it’s a way to internalise the hurt and then prove the things that hurt wrong. the one that hurt you

I know Bo is supposed to be the emotionally intelligent one but he’s also too soft. He should go up to his friends individually and ask them the sharp questions. not - ‘communicate more positively’.

I just like Adora so much better when she’s alone. Her friendships’ positive moments are always so sappy or so....like over-exaggerated, the negative moments always so fucking annoying. Alone, Adora is generally driven, tragic, and cool. the problem is perhaps that i don’t care for the constant fucking drama

god i LOVE Mara so much - she’s so beautiful. and i LOVE learning more about the Old Ones. So they were trying to study Ehteria’s magic.... but then Bright Moon and the princesses were already here. The Magic-Like systems of the Old Ones are pure tech.

wow! even Mara’s transformation is way cooler.

so why was the first one’s tech (she ra) responsive to the magic? why does Raz know about She-Ra? when she ra is first ones tech????

WAIT ONE SECOND. She-Ra is ‘magic’ ??? it’s the SWORD that’s the first one’s tech! She-Ra is Etheria’s magic ! but how if the First Ones chose Mara. Did they steal She-Ra from Etheria?

so what im getting is that. the Old Ones colonised Etheria. Etheria has magic, and when Mara was chosen they made that girl an elite soldier - giving her a first one’s tech sword so she could ‘control’ Etheria’s magic. Then Mara was told to study the magic of Etheria - the ship implying that she’d not been on the planet before. then they created a Heart of Etheria project - which will probably turn the magic into a weapon. this was going to be used against Hordak Prime, im sure. I mean, Mara saved Etheria, but she did doom the rest of the universe to...extinction.... like, judging from Hordak’s strategy, Hordak Prime just literally exterminates planets and repopulates them with his clones....

But why would the planet choose a girl from amongst the colonisers - twice?

OOOHHH that anguished scream. i love anguished screams

why dont they put fucking safety belts in these ships. it’s not like the ship didn’t survive. only Mara got splatted (i guess)

also i love Mara. but damn Adora just got some more shit on her plate. why the fuck was she pushed through a portal again? for a She-Ra chain reaction?

I love madame Raz.

So they didn’t explicitly use it against Hordak Prime. and it wouldn’t have destroyed Etheria back then but it will now...

guh this showmakes it so hard to enjoy catra’s pain.

well they did finally have a good talk about it. I have to say, Glimmer is making good strategic sense - it’s just that this show only rewards harebrained schemes

Catra having a crazy panic attack cos she can’t find Scorpia and she’s completely lost and she knows its her fault. kinda love that for her. my heart

my dear Glimmer, theres a difference between absence of trust and absence of agreement.

they’re bringing king micah back just when angella is dead? oh fuckin lol

the horde....exiled micah? they exiled Micah instead of killing him???

why do they ALWAYS interrupt important conversations? i hate that shit. it’s cheap. it’s unsatisfying.

now THIS is what im here for - that unstoppable WILL!! john gonzalez is right - we watch stories for characters overcomign obstacles. writing, is creating the obstacle course. .....what does that say about me and my life....hmmm.

‘light hope told me everything i need to know’ - uhhh no she didn’t. she didn’t tell you how to harness the energy at all. ugh

how the fuck did double trouble escape. seems to me that they didn’t actually. they were let go....

it’s always so stupid when people try to tell other people: oh no you’ve got no plan - this is too risky! when that’s NEVER a problem

Glimmer is going to activate the weapon just in time for Hordak Prime to use it. And naturally she misses the return of her dad. fuck this

they’re gonna have Hordak and Catra fight? hmm

Double Trouble is right - this IS good for her - and it IS Catra - except for Shadowweaver’s case - she was an abusive bitch

I love Scorpia’s new cool fight music and also glowy eyes

is glimmer going to throw herself into lava??

the unfortunate thing is that Hordak Prime is right on the doorstep and he took over the whole universe or whatever. so they could probably have used that weapon. i mean the Old Ones must have seen something coming. there must be a reason they’re all GONE maybe????

why did Adora assume that all those stars would be destroyed?

THE ANIMATION ON THAT FINAL STUFF WAS INCREDIBLE AND EPIC

how the fukc are they going to beat Horde Prime lolololol.

i guess Glimmer really shouldn’t have done that. but at least she was in time to bond with Catra.

[littlemessyjessi]

“Sweet Serpent & Hellish Angel”: Warren Worthington III Imagine: Plus Size Reader

Warren Worthington III Imagine Warren Worthington x Reader Reader: PS Reader, Reader with Headcovering, Mutant Reader

When Warren first came to the mansion...well it was a mix of reviews honestly. 

In theory, no one wanted to judge him...but I mean- the Apocalypse had shit get very real. 

However, eventually more and more started to warm up to him. 

Now, he spent his time with Kurt and Peter most of the time.

The children weren’t super terrified of him anymore. 

However, a lot of that probably had to do with the fact that he let them play on his metal wings. 

Little ones had a way of worming into his heart. 

Angel features be damned. 

His bad boy persona made him look like a badass- and he was- but Warren was really just a big softie. 

Well, a softie that could rip you apart in two seconds flat but whatever. 

Let’s not split hairs here, hm? 

Anyway, probably his biggest problem ..... was you. 

He was under the impression that you barely acknowledged his existence. 

To him- you were so perfect. 

In reality, most people were actually terrified of you. 

But then again, with the Medusaen mutation.... a lot of people would be. 

Especially for anyone who feared snakes. 

See your mutation was commonly referred to as the Medusa mutation due to the fact that you literally had snakes for hair and if provoked you could wither an unholy glare that would turn one to stone. 

Literally. 

Of course there were other things that were far more impressive than that. 

Like, perhaps the scale regeneration that allowed you to literally shed an injury. 

The only down side was that you never got to keep a look for long.  

If you got injured you’re entire genetic makeup changed when you shed. 

The first week of training was the worst. 

Monday you were green eyed, freckly and had ginger snakes, Tuesday a dark skinned melanin queen with hazel eyes and by Friday you were caramel skinned and had honey colored snakes. 

No one could keep up with you and fucking Charles thought it was hilarious.  

Fucking Charles. 

Sometimes, man.  You’d just like to smack him. 

Anyway, the point is- no one talks about the good shit. 

What everyone remembers is that you were the chick with snakes growing out your head and could turn you to stone. 

This was exactly the reason why you just covered you head anymore. 

Always a nice scarf to match your outfit and all that. 

It just...kept the stares down. 

It worked to your advantage since you were always cold anyway. 

Which is precisely the reason why you wanted to murder Charles at that exact moment. 

He knew you were cold blooded and yet he still chose to force everyone outside on this FRIGID night. 

“Early spring, my ass.” you muttered to yourself earning a chuckle from your right. 

You glanced over see the massive wings and the impossible sweet features....that masked that bad boy persona. 

Warren. 

Man, that boy was a dream....even if he was probably a nightmare for the heart. 

“Cold?” he asked, lifting a brow at you over those lovely, lovely eyes of his. 

“A little.” you said. “I’m cold blooded.  It’s really not that bad.  I just- holy shit- why don’t you have a shirt on?! You’ll freeze your nips off!” 

Warren snorted at your outburst but shrugged. 

“Guess, I’m just used to it.  I adjusted over the years.  It’s more trouble to put clothes on over the wings than to just do without.” he shrugged. “I’m pretty warm.  You’re welcome to come steal some heat.” 

The look on his face was a tad ....fuck that- it was very suggestive but in that moment...you could not have cared less. 

It was cold. 

You hated Charles for making you come out and you could basically feel the heat rolling off of Warren. 

You attached to his side like a fucking magnet and he chuckled. 

Trying his best to keep his thundering heart beat from you. 

But you heard it anyway. 

You just had too much tact to say anything. 

However, you didn’t miss the sniggering of a certain mind reader. 

“I hate you, Charles.” you thought and his voice invaded your mind. 

“Sure you do.” his voice echoed. “You hate me the same way your sweet little serpentine self isn’t wound around your hellish angel.  I definitely believe that.” 

“I’m gonna bite you.” you said. 

“Huh?” Warren said. “I mean, I might could be into that.”

You’re face rushed with blood. 

“I’m sorry.” you whispered. “I didn’t meant that for you.  Charles was invading my privacy so I was threatening his life.  That was- I meant- he was- shit, I’m sorry.”

Warren chuckled and tucked you back into his side and under his wing. 

“Not a problem.” he said. “’Sides, I’m kinda into anyway.” 

You peeked up at him coyly, careful not to turn him to stone. 

It wouldn’t be permanent and the boy already looked like a greek statue but damn, what a waste of flesh. 

“Oh my god.” Charles coughed. “I...I’m sorry.  Turn it off. Turn it off.” 

You grinned evilly before winking at Warren. 

“Care to help me torture the privacy invading mind reader, dear?” you asked. 

Warren smirked, “Huh, and everyone thinks you’re so sweet.” 

“And you look like an angel.” you said with a shrug. “Guess there’s more to us than anyone thought.” 

There was a glimmer of something in his eyes for a second before he grinned and just scooped you up and headed off. 

“Don’t do anything to her!” Charles shouted. “At least not where I can hear it.  Dear god, help my soul.” 

Heeeey, smoochies!  So this actually got a little darker than I had intended and I kinda strayed from the original request…but I’m obsessed with it.  I’d kinda like to do a short story with it, maybe only a few chaps so ya’ll just let me know!

Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed it, smoochies!

If you wanna see more of my content just check out my blogs! @littlemessyjessi is the main blog full of fandom fictions, imagines, headcanons and sickeningly sweet fluff! Yeah, I know, lol. Barf.  But hey, I like it. @witchyweirdness is the magical blog full of witchy content And last but not least !   @monsterbaesbymamakennysaurus is my monster blog full of all kinds of monster related content! So I hope to see you there! Love, Kenny

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Love, Kenny

[takaraphoenix]

Now that you watched the 4th season of She-Ra, what is the thing you liked the most? And what is the thing you don't care about at all? ^^

OH THERE WERE LOTS OF THINGS I LIKED.

1. SCORPIA JUST LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. We saw a picture of her two moms which makes me need excessive flashbacks, she finally stood up to Catra, called her out on her bullshit and joined the rebellion - that is LITERALLY the thing I have been waiting for since Scorpia was first introduced to be honest. And then she got to connect with her stone - sure, sure, near destruction of the world because of that  but finally she embraced being a princess and she was accepted by the other princesses? HER AND FROSTA? HER AND PERFUMA? HER AND GLIMMER? I ABSOLUTELY LIVED FOR THAT. Scorpia’s story-arch this season was so satisfying, urgh.

2. Netossa and Spinerella being back and actually helping during missions instead of just showing up briefly in the background! Being adorable wives. Yes. I loved that, it delighted me.

3. Glimmer’s design as queen? The new outfit, the new hair? I hated her plotline, absolutely loathed it, but the design was flawless.

4. The fact that they introduced a non-binary character and made them actually important to the story, like not just a minor or background character and also that they put emphasis on their pronouns. In a kids show. That’s amazing.

5. Perfuma, Frosta and Mermista being around more!! I love the princesses and I honestly just want them all to be a team like all the time. The focus on Mermista’s loss and how she… well… dealt with that.

6. Meeting Mara more. That episode about her and Razz was… really sad. But in a very good way, you know.

7. KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO SAYING EF THIS AND DESERTING TOO!! YAY!

Now the things I didn’t care about at all/didn’t like:

1. Glimmer’s plotline. I get it, she lost her mother and is grieving and she never liked being sidelined, but her behavior was way out of line and her personal suffering isn’t an excuse for the way she treated Adora.

First of all, you may be the queen but Adora is She-Ra and as such, yeah you should kinda keep her in the loop about the status of the prisoners since she’s your biggest asset, but this went beyond that. Yes, you should tell your best friend that her manipulative, abusive foster mother now gets to roam freely throughout the palace. That one… really hurt me and Glimmer’s dismissal like she doesn’t owe Adora anything, like Adora isn’t fit to judge Shadow Weaver, like Shadow Weaver “hasn’t done anything wrong” which was just gross and distressing to hear her say to Adora’s face after Glimmer and Bow had seen from season 1 that Adora had been abused, had suffered in her childhood, they knew, that was shown and addressed in canon before and right up to this season Glimmer had been shown as protective over Adora, particularly when it came to Shadow Weaver, but suddenly she decides to make her basically the royal adviser and… not even… give Adora a head’s up…?

I really didn’t care for that at all, especially since the show really drove home how much Glimmer’s words had hurt Adora - Adora kept coming back to the hurtful things Glimmer had said and showed how much self-doubt Glimmer’s doubt in her had caused…

No, losing your mom and being under a lot of pressure as queen does not excuse that kind of behavior toward your best friend, it really doesn’t, and as a giant Glimmadora shipper, that shit hurt me even more, because what I had always loved about the two was the way they relied on each other and trusted each other.

And while Adora may not have made all the right or perfect decisions herself either, Glimmer… really hit her exactly where it hurt, excluded her from decision making that they used to do together and blamed her for things that… weren’t Adora’s fault? Glimmer is the queen now, she just… can’t go on every highly dangerous mission herself anymore, that’s what it means to be the acting ruler instead of a princess and that’s hardly Adora’s fault and I genuinely wished there would have been like… an adult around to back her up on that. Like, Castaspella returning and setting her head straight. Seriously, someone should have called Castaspella when Glimmer started relying on Shadow Weaver to teach her magic and to advise her, because her magic aunt most definitely would be more qualified for both positions.

I mean, I low-key get it, Shadow Weaver is an excellent manipulator and she managed to take advantage of a guidance-less, impressionable young girl to make her rely on Shadow Weaver and trust her, but honestly just for fuck’s sake you know she’s a master manipulator and, again, other adult should have stepped in there and helped too and the council of princesses should have also been a bit more vocal and active about that, seriously how did no one see all the gigantic red flags about giving Shadow Weaver that much room to roam free, figuratively and literally…?

It was also way too much fo a mirror to the Catra-Adora dynamic. Shadow Weaver with her claws in the other person, turning her against Adora, making her doubt their friendship, making her make irrational, dumb decisions that drive them apart. That... wasn’t fun to watch the first time around - and y’all still haven’t bothered fixing that mess - so it wasn’t really necessary to do the whole thing over again...

2. Micah’s return. I don’t fully not care about it, but… I don’t know, decades of watching cartoons has me really very tired of “character only has father to rely on after loss of mother”, because killing off moms is such a trope and I kinda liked that Angella was around. Then they kill her off… and then they bring Micah back?? That even defeats the purpose of killing Angella off to have Glimmer rule and be burdened by it alone. Like, yeah I get it, it still fulfilled the purpose of giving us this season of Glimmer as acting queen and this mess that this caused. But I genuinely would have preferred if by some magical release, Angella had been returned instead of “lol he wasn’t dead All along” dad now… It’s kind of an overused trope, or rather, this is actualy three overused tropes on top of each other in a trenchcoat and honestly, overall this show’s writing is much, much better than that? So I don’t quite care for this.

3. Catra. Just… I’m done. Season 1 had me wildly invested in her getting a redemption arc, because poor abused, confused child who still seeks validation from her abuser holy shit get her out of there. Season 2 still had me hopeful for it. Season 3 had lose interest in it, because not only had she moved on from her abuser, she basically took over the organization and has become the… primary villain while Hordak was off hanging out with Entrapta. And then they tag another season of her essentially just… treating the only friends she has left like absolute shit, abusing them - mentally and physically.

fter four whole seasons, she now finally hit rock-bottom which implies that a redemption arc may finally kick in, this has been stretched out too long for me to still be invested in it. It comes the point where writers have pushed my personal good will too much and drawn a thing out for too long for me to still be invested in it. And we’re past that point now.

That doesn’t mean I want bad things to happen to her or that I don’t want her to have a redemption arc at all anymore - better late than never, I suppose - it just means… that I stopped caring.

[sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face]

I found this tidbit from a phone call interview between Elizabeth Wurtzel and Liz Phair in 2017. Liz Phair brought up the fact of the obvious influence that music has on Lizzie’s writing. She then went on to say the above. Personally, I would never say that my poetry is anything by the likes of music. That’s a whole other world but Lizzie’s point is valid because she actually did achieve just that. Her books are an encapsulation (in a sense) of the emotions that music evokes.

Unconsciously, maybe I have tried to attempt such a vigorous endeavor. Because I honestly pretty much learned how to write from music as well.  But that wasn’t what I thought of when I read her explanation.

It was something else that naturally comes back to me often. A compliment. Though my days of 2017 were one giant mush of an intoxicated brain. There are a few small glimmers of memories that I remember. Some good. some bad. The miracle is that I can even remember them in the first place, lol. But. On one fateful night, I was exchanging messages with a gentleman on whom I certainly remember because of this particular conversation. I still know his username. 

I could out him right now, but I won't because the compliment felt deeply personal compared to the rest of our talk. I believe he so generously wanted to help pay back my finances as my mother got scammed big time in buying tickets for a concert that meant a devastating amount to us both. He suggested that I sell copies of my poems like print/sign them, whatever. He’d pay me for one. But I was like nah because I was a fucking mess and couldn’t do anything productive whatsoever let alone get out of bed. Addiction makes you a useless zombie.

Anyway. Somewhere along the line, he randomly told me that my poetry makes him feel the same way that music does. And it really just shook my deteriorating shell a bit. Like my fragile soul read through the cracks and was like “oh....” Because that was the first time that somebody had said that to me. And nobody has ever said anything to the effect of that since. Literally. 

That’s one of the reasons why it stands out in my mind and remains so special to me. It’s why Lizzie’s response reminded me of it. Like yes, she’s my queen. Having any of the same qualities as her is an honor in itself. But the remark alone is enough to take me aback with the realization that the impact that my writing has on people is beyond what my mind could ever imagine.

The silent supporters, which that guy was and still is to this day. I think they are the ones who probably cheer me on the most. Even though I can’t fucking hear anything, lol. It’s still something dear to me nonetheless. Sometimes I wish people did speak up, anon or not. Because more often than not, I fucking need support like y’all have no idea how non-existent positivity is within my life.

I do not have any love in real life and unfortunately, I no longer have it online. 

So yeah, I kinda just wanted to make this post to make myself feel better, lol. Most of all, shout-out to that guy. I see you. I hope you’re well. You are in my notifications once in a blue moon. You probably don’t even remember me or those messages, lol. But you are a fine example of how much unknowning power words have on another human being. So thanks. You’re awesome.

[whateverisbeautiful]

Richonne in Retrospect

#7: The Spark (3x12)

Okay, so this next “Clear” moment is really special. And its particularly special cuz I think it’s the first time Rick and Michonne become more consciously aware that there might be something special between them. 😊

In re-watching their moments for these analysis, I’d try to figure out when exactly were the moments when R&M were more self aware of the fact that their could be something more between them, and to me this was one of the first big moments where I feel like they both sensed a spark.

So their first stop on this run is going to the station where Rick thinks they’ll be able to find the weapons they need. However, he thought. Because the place has been swept clean and there’s not any guns there.

We then see Rick have a moment of very visible frustration that the guns are gone. Like Homeboy’s pretty ticked and you can tell he’s taking this L pretty hard.

 And I love that in contrast to Rick’s more frazzled reaction, we have Michonne who’s still cool calm and collected. I appreciate how her calm and composed nature definitely balances Rick out both throughout this scene and throughout their relationship. Especially with how distraught Rick had become after Lori, he def needs a calming presence like Michonne in his life, y’all. 💯

So Michonne walks further into the empty place and spots a single bullet. I feel like that bullet is symbolic of a small glimmer of hope. Like Rick thought there would be guns and, while that ended up not being the case, there was still this lone bullet which serves as a sign that hope is not lost.

And by Michonne picking it up she becomes associated with a more hopeful approach. Plus, it lets you know that she’s not disappointed with Rick or looking at him as a failure, she’s finding the potential in the situation.

I think her more hopeful approach is further confirmed when she calmly asks if they have any other police stations in town. Cuz as antsy and frustrated as Rick is, she’s not riled up or fretting, she’s just ready to figure out how they make this work from here.

Rick tells her how he was the police in this rather small town and as he tries to collect himself he starts talking about how there’s other places to check. He mentions how there may not be as many guns as were in here and then we see the beginning of the way they always repeat each other’s words cuz she says, “We need as many guns as were in here.”

And again, it’s not said in a challenging or upset way but more so in a way where she’s just stating the honest facts. And then, this is such a small thing, but I appreciate that he says, “Yeah we do” because he’s verbally acknowledging and agreeing with her rather than just moving onto the next thing.

Now, y’all this is where this scene gets particularly interesting lol. Cuz Rick starts to mention the other places they can find guns and Michonne is just you know listening and not doing anything to trigger him, right?

And yet, once Rick lays out his plan, he feels the need to pause and ask her, “Do you have a problem with that approach?” 🙃

 It’s hilarious to me because Homegirl did literally nothing to imply she had a problem with that approach. But this just again illustrates how Rick’s a lil sensitive when it comes to Michonne. 😋

And I love that as much as he might have wanted to sound challenging asking this, it really does come across more like he genuinely wants to know her opinion on if she thinks it’s a bad or good idea. It could have easily been asked in an aggressive way, and while he’s def on edge, there’s still this element of respect in the way he asks.

It’s interesting how after he said the guns might still be there he immediately looked to her and because she hadn’t responded right away he quickly assumed it might be because she disapproves. And to me this really showcases the damage Rick had from his last relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the flaws in Rick and Lori’s relationship were all on Lori or all one sided, but I do think that Rick got very used to constantly being questioned and misunderstood and even disapproved of from Lori and I think by asking if Michonne has a problem it’s him expecting and bracing himself for yet another person to express doubt in him.

Which is why I absolutely adore what happens next because he gets the exact opposite response. 👏🏽

Up until this point in the station, Michonne hadn’t really been looking at Rick but when she hears this, she takes a moment to quietly turn and face him and I love that she lets a little bit of silence go by as she looks right at him, almost like letting him cool off for a second.

And then in the gentlest voice she tells him, “No Rick, I don’t have a problem.”

Can I talk about why I love this real quick? Like there are so many nice layers to this moment. 🙌🏾

First; for her to match Rick’s antsy energy with such calm and composure is so great. It’s so pleasantly unexpected and it lets you know this girl knows how to carry herself like a queen. By taking this gentle approach rather than a snippy or confrontational one, she manages to diffuse the tension effortlessly.

Second; it really does feel like this is about more than just not having a problem with the approach. This is about her trying to tell Rick “I don’t have a problem in general” and she’s not his enemy.

There’s also sort of a sadness here, cuz like everyone probably thinks she has a problem but it’s her way of saying “No, I’m actually much more human and easy to get along with than people take the time to realize” and it’s such a real vulnerable moment between them. 

Three; her response is so significant cuz it lets Rick know this is different than the last woman who would doubt him and have a problem with his decisions. Here’s a woman who instead supports him and is gentle with him. Rick was totally projecting his own frustrations on her but then she softly helped calm the situation. Cuz 👸🏾.

Four; The chemistry and spark between them are just so strong once she says this. Like I get why Danai might have read this and thought there was a little something something there, cuz there def was.

And then y’all I love the shot we get of her handing him the bullet. To focus on their hands in this moment lets you know they want this moment to be emphasized and significant. This moment feels very symbolic and low key feels like it’s alluding to the imagery of exchanging rings.  

Handing him that bullet is a way for her to establish a sense of belief in him. Cuz again, even though that was the lone bullet in a place he thought would be tons of guns, there was at least something there and her handing that to him was her saying there’s still hope. It was the one slither of hope in the room and she gave it to him rather than give him disappointment or disapproval.

This passing of the bullet is also like her way of saying I’m not here to fight you; we’re on the same team. And she offers the bullet to him, he accepts, and they continue to slowly but surely accept each other from here. To me it’s also symbolic of her handing him a softer side of her that he hasn’t seen before.

It’s so clear that these two are having a moment rn and that there’s more brewing beneath the surface.

And you know who also seems to know that these two were having a moment? My boy, Carl. 😋

Like as much as I love the passing of the bullet, my favorite part about this shot is Carl in the center as he seems to be picking up on the fact that this moment is not so “platonic”.  

As young as he is, I feel like even he could sense some type of chemistry between them. Especially in the shot that follows with Carl looking from his dad to Michonne like “What’s going on here?” lol.

And I’m so here for the little look Michonne gives Rick before walking away cuz it’s like an “I see you, the real you” look and also a bit of a “Partner, let me upgrade you” look. 😂

Cuz she low key knows just how to harness his frantic energy. Like she’s like “Bruh, just wait, once you’re with me you’re going to feel a lot less crazy cuz I’m about to be your source of sanity” lol. Direct quote from Michonne’s mind, y’all. 😋👌🏽

I love that she looks at Rick with this gentle face as a reminder that this warrior has a soft welcoming side too and you know Rick took note.

Like I think this moment played a big part in helping him be more open to this woman and it definitely further intrigued him. Cuz homeboy is straight up mesmerized and can barely hide it when she walks away. 💯

Like, y’all, a lot of the build up between Rick and Michonne was fairly subtle, however Rick’s reaction as Michonne walks away wasn’t subtle at all. Watching this back I realized that it was pretty blatant that in some way shape or form this man has caught feelings. Cuz what did she do to make him have to literally pause and recollect himself? Whipped already, y’all. 😊

Like he stays watching her go and then he sort of holds the bullet like it’s gold and then stores it in his shirt pocket and then looks up to the sky and it’s just a lot, cuz that man is feeling a lot lol.

When he looks up I feel like it’s him really wondering what this moment just meant cuz it certainly wasn’t just casual. Like I think, in the beginning of their relationship, Rick was a little shook that he might be able to fall for someone so deeply so soon, but that happens with soul mates. 😌

This whole prolonged moment of his reaction to her feels very significant for the show to linger on. I feel like to spend this time on this entranced reaction is because they want to hint at something. And to me it’s hinting that Rick knows there’s a spark there. He knows it. And so does Michonne.

Like I think this was both the phase in their relationship where they started to become a bit more aware of the attraction between them and also the first time they knew they felt a significant connection. And as time goes on they’ll realize just how significant that connection is.

Overall, I really appreciate this moment for establishing a deeper kind of chemistry between R&M and the fact that, in a few seasons, he would hand her mints the same way she handed him this bullet and then Richonne would be born, it just makes this moment even sweeter. 🙌🏾😊

[saranel]

The Last Jedi review, sorta

I don’t think I’ve talked enough (if at all) about what a huge Star Wars nerd I am on this blog, mostly because I didn’t love TFA as much as most people seemed to and I just never joined in the renewed fandom frenzy.

TL;DR on my views on TFA: It was fun enough, some interesting new characters, beautiful visuals, but I’d seen that movie before.  It came out in ‘77 and it was much better then.  Homage is one thing, rip off is completely another.  Mostly, I guess I was just disappointed that they didn’t dare to try and move the universe forward a bit, beyond the already trodden path.

Say what you will about the prequels, but I will always, always maintain there’s nothing wrong with them a better script and director couldn’t fix.  George tries, bless him, but he can’t write dialogue worth a damn.  Not even Meryl Streep could’ve made the line “So love has blinded you” any better than Natalie Portman did, and both she and Hayden have proven themselves to be much better actors than they were in Star Wars.  I’m not bothering with Ewan because he was one of the few really great things about the Prequels. 

That having been said, what George can do is weave a decent background story, and the Prequel Trilogy’s story is much, much richer than the OT’s.  Taking off our nostalgia-colored glasses for a moment, let us be honest: the OT was so successful because it did a very simple thing, and did it well, and had a cast with wonderful chemistry. The story itself is nothing to rave about: just your simple Evil Empire vs Plucky Rebels story.  But the Prequels actually got political and much darker than the OT did, they just did it clumsily.  Still, it was something new in the Star Wars universe and George always tried to expand the known worlds by giving us even small glimpses of other cultures and planets.  Don’t forget that Star Wars was never meant to be high-brow Science Fiction a la Philip Dick, but a space adventure.  This doesn’t mean that the story can’t have nuance, but the point of Star Wars was always to be a fairytale exploration of a fictional galaxy.

Compared to that, the new trilogy seemed extremely lacking to me.  And seeing The Last Jedi a few days ago really cemented that.  Never before have I seen so many things happening in one movie while nothing really happens at all.  It makes Attack of the Clones look interesting in comparison, and that’s saying a lot.  ALSO LUKE, WTF HAS THE MOUSE DONE TO MY SPACE SON, THE FUCKING GALL.

So yes, surprise-surprise, TLJ manages to rip off Empire (with a dash of Battlestar Galactica thrown in for good measure) and does so poorly.  It was not a terrible film by any means, but I honestly thought it was no better than Phantom Menace. And Phantom Menace had the Duel of Fates.  So. 

(okay, to be fair, TLJ didn’t have Jar Jar so that’s one point in its favor)

In a nutshell:

(cut for spoilers)

THE GOOD

- Poe.  Poe was good. Moar Poe, there was a serious lack of Poe in TFA and it has been rectified, this was a very good decision. 

- The silent scene.  Y’all know the one.  People in my theater literally gasped in unison.  I was bored outta my skull up until then and as soon as I realized what Holdo was about to do, I sat up, all ‘oshit’ and it was amazing.  Beautifully shot, beautifully clever, and the most badass hero death in the SW universe.  Only comes in second in terms of best scene in the movie because the other one involved a more established and beloved character.

- MY SON LUKE KICKING HIS NEPHEW’S ASS LIKE IT AIN’T NO BIG THANG.  In full disagreement over how shit went down between them in the past, but Luke showing Kylo who’s the most goddamn powerful Jedi in the galaxy (which Luke did canonically become in later years btw) was such a rewarding scene.  Also, he was dressed in black.  Like in ROTJ. Because fuck yeah.

- Rey’s parentage.  Most people probably hated that she’s not a Skywalker but I just... kinda loved the suggestion that she was the Force’s answer to Kylo?  It’s happened before with Anakin, so this isn’t exactly new, and Anakin, too, came from ‘nothing.’ I liked it.  She doesn’t have to have illustrious parentage to be important in the series, and as much as I love my Space Drama Queen clan, it’s time the universe moves on from the Kardashians of the galaxy.

- Luke’s death.  I don’t agree with 99% of what went down with Luke in this trilogy, I think it was deeply out of character, but his ending?  That was spot on.  Did I want more out of his storyline? Obviously, but examined in a vacuum, his ending was beautiful to me.  Especially that last scene.  Best scene in the movie from start to end.

- Yoda manipulating the goddamn heavens to rain thunder upon the ancient tree.  Ilu Yoda

- Leia and Holdo discussing Poe.  This was an A+++ short scene. Get it, ladies.

- Snoke is gone, thank the heavens.  Worst-named villain in movie history, I couldn’t stop laughing every time someone said SUPREME LEADER snoke.

- CRYSTAL FOXES OMG

- Luke getting his kicks in that boring-ass island via EXTREME ROD FISHING, lmao the nerd

THE MEH

- So, um... Kylo and Rey?  ....ew? (did they not think Finn and Rey were super cute or)

- So, um... Finn and Rose?  ....ookaaaay? (did they not see Poe biting down on his lip when he saw Finn in his jacket or)

- I don’t really care for ships in this trilogy tbh, whatever.  Guess I’m steering clear from attachment until I know who’s related to whom (THIS IS A DANGEROUS UNIVERSE TO SHIP IN OKAY).  Plus, not really feeling particularly strong toward any couple, just... not Kylo and Rey, ew.

- Rose.  I liked her, but... they hardly gave her anything to do.  That casino storyline was such a mess, made it seem like she was there just to be there.

- Finn’s storyline. Snoozefest.  I like him, but... see above.

- lol wtf happened to Chewie...? He was just... there?

THE BAD

- SPACE-WALKING LEIA.  I’M SORRY, OKAY, I know this scene will be big with many people, and lord knows I wanted to see Space Mom use the Force beyond that Spidey Sense shit, but this was just so dumb. 

- All the ‘humor.’ My god, just... no.  Not every scene needs to be steeped in Whedon-speak, please stahp.  I will admit the first scene got a chuckle out of me, but the rest...

- The ‘plot.’  This was literally an extended car chase scene in space with some Sense8 type shit thrown in. Rey hardly even did any training, ffs.  

- so the force-sensitive member of the trio goes on to be trained by a wise, isolated mentor and finds herself drawn to a place steeped in the dark side and ends up seeing only herself reflected in there, meanwhile the rest of the characters are involved in a chase across the galaxy, running away from the evil empire, and at some point decide to ask for help form a well-known swindler who betrays them and in the end everything seems bleak with just a tiny glimmer of hope. HMMMMMM. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. 

- quite frankly, I’m still in shock Rey finished the film with two fully biological arms

- O hei, look, it’s The Salty planet Hoth.  With pod-racing.

- Really? Rey blushing at shirtless Kylo? Really

- WHERE IS FORCE GHOST ANAKIN TO GO “BINCH I REDEEMED MYSELF IN THE END STOP THIS SHIT, ALSO I DID THIS FIRST AND I DID IT BETTER” TO HIS WANNABE GRANDSON

- The whole damn Casino storyline.  I don’t care if it’s meant to set up something for the last movie (probably not) but it was long, boring, and a clumsily written attempt at a storyline that could’ve been more nuanced and a good addition.

- why did we have to see Luke milk that alien Y

- NOT ONE DECENT LIGHTSABER FIGHT THE FUQ.  

- Leia (and Han in TFA) giving up on her son instead of beating some sense into his ass with a space slipper. Y’ALL KNOW SHE WOULD.  Baaaaad characterization. Space Mom would never.

- Also, fuck whoever decided that Leia, who canonically has the exact same force potential as Luke because they’re twins, never developed her powers beyond Force Sense or whatever.  If you’re not gonna give the woman a lightsaber, at least have her Force Push fools out of her way. 

- Wtf Rey you obliterated that nice alien’s cart and didn’t even apologize they work hard every day you should be ashamed

- why was it meant to be funny when porgs were slapped around wtf

- “what’s that canon?”  “Basically a small death star” kjashKLAFJSHSAJKDFSADFHSAK 

- Kylo. Can he just die, plz, the expanded universe did the Evil Solo son storyline so much better.  Yet another way in which this trilogy is totes an ~*homage*~  No shade on the actor though, he did a great job.  It’s just the violent manchild character I cannot stand.

- So like... we’re never gonna learn what Snoke’s deal was...? Or how he got to Kylo...? ....Okay then.

- This movie was 2 and a half hours long.

[tumblunni]

ALSO TO FIX EXCELLUS

Because tangeants again lol

Recognise that its fuckin stupid and bigoted to expect us to believe someone is a villain INSTANTLY after seeing that they're queer, before they even do anything. Don't spend your entire damn game having the characters go "eww its that disgusting person of ambiguous gender we should kill them because gross" rather than.. Yknow.. "Excellus fuckin murdered those people". Recognise that literally doing this is gonna make your character LESS villainous and MORE sympathetic long before you finally get to goddamn showing them do anything bad except say "ohoho i wanna be a princess". And it'll make bunni REALLY PISSED OFF because nobody wants to feel sad for an asshole murderer yet THAT SADNESS IS FOREVER ENGRAINED IN MY SOUL NOW

Seriously fuckin hell it even made the heroes look less heroic! I felt like Excellus was almost justified in becoming a murdering selfish monster if she spent her entire life being treated that way by both sides in this big good or evil conflict. Why the fuck should she give a shit if she's being degraded? Like FUCKIN OBVIOUSLY murdering people and wanting to conquer a random japanese country as a mad dictator is not a remotely logical reaction to being misgendered. But like they could have changed some stuff and made a perfectly good sympathetic villain who gets manipulated by the bigger bad because of her sad past of being treated like shit and like she feels like this is her only option to be herself. And then maybe you can reignite her hope in the world and her self esteem and moral centre and help her redeem herself and team up with you to take out the real horrible fucks with no sympathetic motives. Instead she's friggin played as THE one who's evil cos she has no sympathetic motive. Like that's her whole Thing, she's supposed to just be selfish and greedy and horrid. Your damn bigotry somehow failed your own story as well as failing all trans people ever!

Or like yknow.. If you want an asshole fuckboi then actually write an asshole fuckboi. Scrubby scrub the trans = bad shit from this plotline and you do indeed have a selfish monster who murders a bunch of innocent people and gets his just desserts. You had a ready made simple character archetype and you were so preoccupied shoving your transphobic screed into your game that you fucked it up!

So yeah i think either make this goofy ohoho trans auntie a good character, make the asshole ohoho bad character a cis man, do both at once, or like even i'm not opposed to having a trans villain exist but like seriously make them a synpathetic villain. If they're the only trans character in the plot its already gonna send a bad message if theyre in the role of "worst most underhanded jerk villain", even if it WASNT also transphobic as fuck. So a sympathic trans villain or adding more LGBT characters so it doesnt seem like this one individual was designed to make a statement on your entire feelings for a minority.

ALSO

like seriously please do not do this stupid thing of mooshing every stereotype together from every LGBT identity and acting like theyre all the same thing?? Like man i fuckin HATE that anime trope that yknow.. The gay man says all this trans stuff cos he's ~just that flambouyant~ Like being a drag queen is what 100% of gay men are, 24/7, and anyone saying theyre a trans woman is just one of those drag queens who's really getting into character. Or just.. I dunno. I cant even wrap my head around what train of logic must have led to that stereotype in the first place! And its so fuckin annoying as a queer person trying to talk about why this is bad queer stereotyping, it just makes me extra sad to straight up not know what pronouns to use for the character so i feel like i'm being just as horrible to them as their creators were. Like man i've only settled on going for "she" for Excellus cos after years of looking into it it does seem like the original japanese was indeed specifically using stereotypes of trans women and not trans men or nonbinary people. Though all languages do seem to call the character male it seems pretty strongly to be a "i believe that trans women are men and can never be women" kind of thing, rathe rthan the character herself calling HERSELF male. She calls herself a woman in both english and japanese, and its just that the english has everyone else use male pronouns for her and added the non-canon "explanation" that she only acts like a trans woman because she has something wrong with her balls. (Ugh!) And in japanese on top of calling herself a woman she also uses feminine (and specifically trans/drag queen coded) variants of "I", and other common speech pattern traits used for negative stereotypes of trans women. Though again we do have other characters calling her a disgusting perverted man instead. Sigh!

Ok ok ALSO BIGGEST FUCKIN FIX! dont draw the character like a horrible distorted cariacature goblin in an entirely different art style to everyone else. Seriously its so annoying how they tried to make you agree with "excellus is disgusting just for acting queer" by LITERALLY DRAWING A DISGUSTING CHARACTER. If you take away the weirdass overdetailed horror movie monster face, there is nothing ugly or even "manly looking" about her! She's just like somebody's perfectly normal chubby aunt or something. You could go out in any street all over the world and see five of her! I hate it cos its almost like psychological manipulation or something? Like i've seen so many lets players who arent bigoted but merely oblivious still agree that excellus is ugly and disgusting and comical because of it, cos all the implications of transphobia/homophobia flew over their heads and all they saw was a character drawn to look monsterous. And just.. This is so common. Its the overwhelming japanese stereotype of trans women. Draw them looking INFINATELY MORE MANLY than the cis male characters. So manly that it really hammers home how "obvious" it is that a man in lipstick or dresses "just looks wrong" and of course there's NO way they could ever pass and ha ha look how deluded they are that they think they look pretty. It's horrid. It really is. Seriously I like to point at Tabitha from Pokemon ORAS for a good counter example, cos he's also an ambiguously transgender character from a game that came out around the same time and by some weird coincidence they look very similar. Except for the literal entire face. The literal entire exact same face, just its drawn hideous and distorted on the one who's supposed to be a negative trans stereotype, and drawn exactly like everyone else on the positive one. And there's not one example in the whole game of anyone calling Tabitha ugly because he looks trans, or even insulting his weight or anything. Same damn character design, just drawn without bias and treated like a human being. I mean seriously right down to them having the small "evil eyes" but with Tabitha he's always drawn with them in a perpetual sort of happy face and then his pose with them looking similar to Excellus is supposed to be a BADASS MOMENT of this comic relief villain showing his worth! And hw literally has red eyes on top of it! His design is even MORE "evil" yet just not drawing it as a stereotype entirely changes the player's perception and he became beloved by many. Whereas with Excellus even the trans people in the audience couldnt relate to her and just felt fuckin sad.

Oh also i guess Excellus is implied to be a trans woman and Tabitha is implied to be a trans man? But i don't think game freak was trying to say anything about trans men being more valid or whatever, cos the first canonical LGBT character of any sort was a trans woman npc in the battle maison. And tabitha being trans isnt really confirmed as clearly as she was. i hope someday theyre able to confirm an LGBT main cast member but until then i will forever hold onto the glimmer of hope that was given to me by Beauty Nova.

Also seriously Tabitha and Excellus both also look EXACTLY LIKE ME IN REAL LIFE so I kinda took Excellus extra hard and latched onto the Tabitha headcanon so much more because it was good healing after all that nonsense. Tho I also did considee nonbinary Tabitha at the time, because his japanese name is a gender neutral one that's merely like 75% female, rather than a 100% feminine one. But then his old RSE design was very masculine so i think maybe a trans man is what they were trying to imply if they did indeed do it on purpose. Anyway i probably would have translated his name as Ashley cos it has the same "technically neutral but more popular with girls" aesthetic while also keeping the same fire pun as Homura. I have no idea how on earth Tabitha is supposed to be a joke, honestly. Tho i meam maybe he's just the one type specialist on the entire poke-earth who doesnt have a joke name?

ANYWAY thank you terrible transphobic stupid manga i read today for reminding me that i love Tabitha. And also the developers love Tabitha. And also all the characters in universe love him, like seriously the only difference between the devon dialogue of him and Shelly is that they mention the other scientists nicknamed him tabitabi. And its so cute how seriously they said it too?? Its like "our boss tabitabi,the most feared and respected genius man".

Lovv dat tabb

[samasmith23]

Glimmer is such an underrated character! Easily one of my personal favorites from She-Ra right alongside Catra, Entrapta & Hordak!

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