#yeah a few years ago i cut back on coffee because i was getting heart pain

[simptasia]

look at me, listen to me, trust me:

as somebody who is currently living through the worst trauma and depression of my life, i gotta tell you:

you cannot live on coffee

coffee cannot be your replacement for sleep or nutrients. it will become less effective over time and mess up your endocrine system (the system responsible for hormone and sleep regulation). your stress and anxiety will increase and you may put your heart and kidneys at risk. you also might shit yourself sometimes

this may all seem very obvious but its possible to be in the mindset where Living On Coffee makes sense to you

what i'm saying is coming from a place of experience. and love. you cannot live on energy replacements. no matter how tasty

eat veggies. drink water. sleep. you can do other things, you can indulge, i promise! just please, do basic self care too

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Changes

What do you do when the person you once were becomes the person you miss being the most?

Tags/Warnings: Aged up!Jungkook, Younger!Reader, Age Gap (9 years, JK is mentioned to be 34/35), Angst, Mature romance, Jungkook's ex wife, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of alcohol abuse, fluff, flirty Jungkook, no smut in this I'm sorry pls still read it :( there's some tension tho!!

Length: 6.5k words

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"Thanks for picking him up." Taehyung sighs, his son happily in the living room, taking a nap from school as he tucks himself in on the couch while his favorite show plays on the TV.

"I would've asked her, you know, but I feel like I'm relying too much on her again." The young father sighs. "I'm basically treating her the same as I did years ago, just without the pay."

"I heard about that." Jungkook says, drinking his coffee at the kitchen table where he sits across Taehyung. "She used to nanny while you lived separately from your wife, I think it was." He hums, setting his cup down. Jungkook isn't on bad terms with Taehyung's wife- but he tends to not say her name, because he honestly harbors quite a bit of distaste towards the woman who refuses to properly take care of her own child.

"Well don't you seem to know a bit about her now." Taehyung squints his eyes in suspicion. "What happened to 'she's too young for me anyways' huh?" He teases, and Jungkook sighs.

"Well, things.. happened. And we talked." He shrugs. "We're not.. really a couple, but we agreed to spend time with one another." He explains.

"So you're friends with benefits?" He wonders, drinking his tea while Jungkook leans back.

"No." He shakes his head, even though deep down, it does kind of feel like that to him, now that he thinks about it a bit more. "It's.. a bit more complicated than that. We're simply talking, seeing where it goes." He says.

"Hmhm." Tae nods. "Just don't break her heart. I still got basically nightmares from her last relationship." He mumbles a bit angrily to himself, clearly a bit irritated even just by the thought of it.

"I.. wondered what happened." Jungkook says. "Dae said he was a drinker?" He wonders, and Taehyung nods.

"Drinker, druggie, abusive asshole." He huffs, crossing his arms. "It's the main reason she moved away when Daehyun was younger. She wanted to protect him- make sure he won't get hurt."

"Was he violent?" Jungkook wants to know, because honestly, he has a hunch that that might've been the case. Taehyung seems on edge now, clearly torn between probably saying the truth, and respecting your privacy. "I was intending to ask her anyways. But she seems like the type to downplay her problems in order to make things seem less serious, so I thought you might be more honest." He adds.

"Yeah, she is like that." Tae agrees softly. "I'm not too sure what exactly went down. But I do know that she.. distanced herself out of fear that Daehyun might get hurt." He tells his friend. "Greg started to pick her up every time she'd babysit Daehyun at my house, even after I told him I didn't like that. He still did, still argued, turned up drunk multiple times at my doorstep." The young father remembers. "I kept her with me, of course. I'd never let her drive home with that alcoholic- but I guess something must've happened because she just.. suddenly cut contact." He shrugs. "Sent me a text, changed her number, moved out her old apartment."

"When did she come back?" Jungkook wonders.

"According to Yoongi, a few weeks before the aftershow party." Taehyung responds.

"So that's why you didn't recognize her?" He figures, and Tae nods.

"She changed a lot. Not just visually. She's.." His eyes lower to the cup in his hand. "..a lot more quiet. Cautious. Jumpy." He informs his friend. "And at the same time, she seems to mask a lot of it- get's irritated easily. She's trying to be who she was, but it's obvious that something changed, and whenever someone notices, she becomes defensive."

Jungkook doesn't really know what to think. Looking at Daehyun on the couch, he can absolutely understand your standpoint back then to get away from Taehyung's family in order to protect them- but that means there must have been at least some form of fear against your former partner to make you believe that he could potentially be a danger to the young boy and his father. It could also just be jealousy, of course- but Taehyung is right. You are a little odd sometimes.

And he doesn't know if he wants to know exactly why, or if he wants to let sleeping dogs rest.

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Jungkook leans back in his office chair, headache already almost too unbearable to him, especially considering the woman who's making her way up in the giant corporate building to see him.

She wants money again, he knows it. Evelyn only ever visits him if there's something she wants, after all.

"One might argue they'd know me by now." Evelyn huffs as she enters the office, hair a bit wet as she throws her coat over the chair in front of his desk, before she sits down. "How're you doing?" She wonders, and Jungkook doesn't look away from his laptop's screen whatsoever, still looking through his e-mails. He doesn't have to put too many thoughts into this conversation after all- she's most likely just here to leech off of him again.

"Cut it." He simply says. "What do you want?" He asks, phone on his desk vibrating and chiming with a new notification.

'I can just drop something off for you? I just got off work myself, so it's no hassle.' your message reads, an answer to a former rant from him about his headache, and the fact that he's 'locked in like a dog' in his office and without any proper food ever since this morning. It makes him softly smile a little, the fact that you want to bring him something to eat even though you're probably exhausted from your shift as well is something he's not used to. And he didn't even have to ask for it.

'Only if it's really not an issue for you' his answer reads, and you send a thumbs-up emoji as an answer, before you finish typing your proper answer.

'DW, is anything okay or do you want something specific?' you question, and he immediately types a response.

'Just whatever, really. Nothing too spicy though, please.' he offers, when a hand knocks on the table in front of him, the woman in his office dragging him back into reality with force. He signs, locks his phone before he puts it down, opening a chat with the front desk downstairs to let them know to bring you up when you arrive.

"You know, this was always the issue, Jungkook." Evelyn whines, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed. "You're so consumed by your work, it's crazy." She shakes her head.

"That wasn't work, actually." He bites back with a monotone voice, not really offering her any emotion whatsoever- there's nothing left in him anymore he could offer anyways. She took it all, sucked it out of him like an insect, and now she's constantly upset that he's empty inside.

"Anyways, I got this letter recently stating that there was an issue with the bank transfer?" She says, giving him the letter to read- which he does, flying over it just to remember why that bank transfer did not go through. "I told them that they'll get their money by friday." She hums, leaning her face on her palm while he gives her the letter back.

"What do I have to do with it then?" He asks, and she sits upright again, tilting her head a bit in irritation. "You said they'll get their money by friday. Good. Why are you here then?" He asks, arms crossed, office chair squeaking a bit as he leans back into it.

"Well, it's your bank account!" She laughs a bit unsure. "I don't even know why there was apparently not a sufficient balance on it." She argues.

"I resigned the automatic transfer rights." Jungkook tells her, face not moving an inch as he breaks the news. "The letter doesn't mention an insufficient balance at all, Evelyn. It states that there's no bank account set for the automated transfer option at all." He informs her.

"What the fuck Jungkook?!" She barks. "And you didn't even tell me?!" She yells, standing up to slap her hands on his desk. "You can't just make these changes and not inform me about it! Do you know how expensive that was?!" She accuses, and he shrugs, noticing something move behind her, milky glass front of his office hiding what's going on inside and outside, only letting shadows be seen if someone's close enough. "I'll text you the invoice later, and you better fucking pay, you asshole!" She says, when she whips her head around, someone opening the glass door.

"Thanks." You tell the office lady having let you in, before your eyes widen, door closing behind you and instantly drowning out all noise except the very slight sound of the fan in the corner of the room.

"Ah, there you are." Jungkook sighs, suddenly feeling a lot lighter as he looks at you. "Come here- is it still raining a lot?" He wonders easily, taking the white plastic bag from you to set it on his table, before giving you a small hug to greet you. "I think that was all you wanted, wasn't it?" He asks Evelyn, who hasn't even gotten up from her seat, instead clearly studying you now.

"Actually, no." She tells him. "And it's kind of private, so it would be real nice if your assistant would leave." She tells you with a smile that reminds you of a snarling dog.

"Then come back a different day." Jungkook answers her however, offering to take your coat from you to hang next to his own on the wall close to the large windows. "Right now I'm really not in the mood for whatever it might be. Especially not with my girlfriend in the room." He bluntly says, and something seems to flash over her face at the mention of your alleged role in his life.

She slowly stands up to take her coat from the back of the chair, movements a lot slower now, a glare sent into your direction. "Don't get your hopes up, sweetheart." Evelyn tells you, slipping into the sleeves of her coat. "His first love will always stay his job." She almost threatens, before she takes her purse and leaves through the door, leaving a confused you, and a clearly exhausted Jungkook behind.

"Please, sit down." He offers, and you do so, watching how he leans back in his chair, hands running over his face before he sits up again. "I'm sorry. That timing couldn't have been worse." He sighs.

"Ah, here. Do you have water here?" You wonder, and he nods, pointing towards a water dispenser in the room. "Oh, fancy." You laugh, walking up to fill a cup to put in front of him. "I take them myself, they usually help really quickly. Not trying to murder you." You tease, and he chuckles, taking the medication and the cup for himself.

"Thank you, really." He sighs out before taking the pill, washing it down with half of the cup's contents before he closes his eyes for a moment. "God I hate her so much." He suddenly breaks out laughing, before he shakes his head, digging through what you've bought for him.

"I assume that was your ex wife?" You wonder, and he nods.

"I'm also really sorry for telling her you're my girlfriend when we haven't even talked about that yet." He tells you a bit.. shyly almost, while you pull the bag closer to take something out for yourself.

"It's fine." You shrug. "Got a nice ring to it, you know?" You joke, and he smiles, starting to eat.

It's quiet, but not oddly so. He enjoys this a lot, this company without any pressure, no eerie sense of something being about to happen. You're clearly here because you want to be, there's nothing you want from him, nothing you need, nothing you could gain from this. It's just what it is, nothing else, nothing to red between the lines.

"You can ask why she was here, by the way." He offers you, wiping his mouth with a tissue.

"I don't have to know." You say, however. "It's got nothing to do with me- right?" You ask, and he nods. "Then it's none of my business. You can rant to me about it, sure, but I can't really give you any opinions on it since I don't really know her, or the situation around you and her." You tell him.

Jungkook watches you for a moment, before he nods. "You're right." He agrees, letting go of the topic entirely for now. He know it's only fair to talk to you about it at some point- but right now is not the time for that, he decides. "Do you want me to drive you home later? I really only have to answer this one E-mail and then I can clock out." He tells you between bites, wiping his fingers before he taps away on his keyboard.

"If it's not a bother, sure." You shrug. "You said you got the weekend off, right?" You ask him, and he nods a bit absentmindedly. "Then how about you stay over?" You ask, and that definitely seems to catch his attention.

"Stay over?" He asks, just to make sure he heard it correctly, and you nod.

"Yeah." You nod. "It's, you know, what boyfriends do with their girlfriends." You tease, making him roll his eyes. "We could cook something, watch a movie. Oh, and one of the lightbulbs in my kitchen broke, so maybe you could fix that for me?" You chirp, and he suddenly smiles brightly to himself, clicking something on his laptop before he shuts it down. "What's that grin for, mister?" You ask, and he just shakes his head.

"Nothing, really." He tells you. "I'm just really happy." He confesses, and you smile the same, now a bit shy.

"Well, what's your answer then?" You wonder, watching him pack the leftovers back into the bag, before he walks to get both his and your jackets, helping you into yours.

"My answer is yes." He says, voice very close to your ear as he leans over your shoulder from behind you, hands on your arms for a second. "I'd love to stay over and fix that lightbulb too, of course.-"

"Since I heard that's what boyfriends do with their girlfriends."

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"There we go." He says, slowly climbing down the plastic kitchen chair you're holding onto just in case. "Anything else while I'm here?" He genuinely asks, and you shake your head, moving the chair back to the small kitchen table.

"No, that was all. Thank you, really." You say, before you move to open the fridge, taking out some things while he stands around with his hands in his pockets. Your apartment is pretty small- living in it together with you would most likely prove to be way too much, but he still thinks it's better than his own, in terms of.. quality.

His own home feels empty. There's nothing in it, it's way too big for a single person, and the view from so high up above the clouds has long lost it's charm to him.

He sits down at the kitchen table, leaning on it a little as he watches you wash some vegetables before you grab a cutting board and a knife. "Daehyun said you're a little lonely without your dog." He says, and you giggle a little, smiling to yourself. "Have you considered getting another one?" He wonders, but you just shrug.

"I'm too busy at the moment." You deny. "I used to bring him to work with me, since he was a very quiet and calm dog, which fit perfect into our office." You remember. "He'd always sleep under my desk, right on my feet. Always kept them warm." You softly say, and he notices that he might've struck a still hurtful topic if only from the sound of your voice becoming somewhat tighter.

"I can imagine. I always wanted a dog too-" He sighs, leaning back. "But.. Evelyn, the woman you saw today, she doesn't like them. So it was out of the question."

"Really?" You wonder, cutting up the vegetables. "I mean, I guess, if both of you were really busy then it probably was for the best." You hum, tension leaving you again. "Gotta look at the bigger picture."

"Yeah, maybe it was for the best." He agrees. To be honest, Evelyn would've probably fought over the dog as well, just like she did over the apartment, and other more petty things like fucking furniture. She wanted to ruin him, if financially then emotionally, and somehow, she somewhat did.

It's quiet again, when you, surprisingly to him, cut into a topic he did not expect.

"His name was Greg." You say, filling a small pot with water before you place it on the stove, turning it on. "You probably talked about him with Taehyung."

"I did." He admits. "But there's not much I know." He offers. "And like you said about my situation, I don't have to know about things that don't concern me. However-" He begins, getting up to now stand closer, find your gaze that's turned downwards onto the cutting board. "-I don't want to accidentally do something that might make you uncomfortable due to past experiences." He says.

"What a tactful way to ask me if I've got any trauma from that guy." You chuckle, moving to put the cut up vegetables in a bowl before you continue the preparations for dinner.

"I'm trying to be gentle here." He attempts to lighten up the mood, and you indeed smile at that.

"And I'm very thankful for that." You offer him, before you sigh, setting down the knife. "I don't.. think we're at a point where I should be dumping all of what happened onto you." You inform him, and he nods, accepting that. "I don't like yelling. If I feel uncomfortable, I'll probably try and get myself out of a situation by any means necessary-" you admit, turning a little to look at him. "-and that will probably include some nasty words thrown your way, if that get's you away from me." You tell him. "And I don't like alcohol. Even if you hand me full on medical evidence that you can't even get drunk, the moment I smell it- I just can't trust you." You say, and he nods.

"Alright, I respect that." He nods.

"I'll also get pretty clingy over time." You add on, making him nod. "And I can be annoying. I'll text you a lot." You continue, and a small smile sneaks itself onto his lips as he shrugs, crossing his arms. "The moment you invite me into your home I'll practically steal half of your closet contents-"

"Is that what he told you?" He wonders, and you grow quiet, eyes avoiding him. "I'm obsessed with my work." He begins his own rant, standing up to walk closer to you. "I never have time for anything else. I'm boring. Sometimes rude, and immature. I'm a perfectionist, but I'm also lazy. I snore, and I work out too much to the point where I'm sweating buckets. I'm a little messy." He tells you, hugging you from behind, though not very intimately- giving you a clear way out if you so want to.

"…is that what she told you?" You answer, and he smiles.

"Let's just agree on getting to know each other just the way we are, not the way someone else described us in the past." He offers, and you nod.

"Alright." You hum, before you push him a little playfully. "Now go and let me cook in here, boyfriend." You tease, making him grin impishly, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he does not walk away from behind you, hands now flat on your ass. "Hey!"

"What? I'm out of your way like this." He tells you almost innocently, hands moving to hold your waist now.

"Sit down there and let me cook!" You laugh.

"But we wanted to cook together, no?" He wonders. "Like.. boyfriend and girlfriend." He leans his chin on your shoulder.

"Well, boyfriends let their girlfriends cook in peace." You threaten, making him chuckle as his fingers squeeze your hips a bit.

"Not if their girlfriend is this attractive." He purrs, making you roll your eyes.

"Jungkook…" You wonder, suddenly way more serious, making his stand up straight again so you can face him. "Is.. that what we are now?" You ask, and his lips part for a second, unsure of his own answer. "I mean, it's fine if we're just playing around. Just.. I'm scared that we might end up in some.. unnecessary drama down the line if we're blurring the lines too much without properly discussing things first." You say.

"What do you mean?" He asks, and you sigh.

"What if you end up calling me.. your girlfriend just as a joke? But I start believing it at some point- thinking we are something serious when we're not. Or the other way around." You explain. "I don't want us to get hurt again. Neither of us."

Jungkook takes a deep breath, and from this close proximity, you can make out two odd dots near his bottom lip you're not too sure of. You might ask him about them some other time.

"Let me take time off of work. Next week, three days." He offers, catching you off guard. "Let's go on a trip. Together. Someplace no one knows us, and we don't know either." He tells you.

"I mean- I would've had friday and the weekend off anyways but-"

"Okay, great, perfect. I'll cancel my Friday meetings." He tells you, hands moving- at first, they seem to attempt to hold your cheeks- but it's like that feels too intimate yet, so he settles for your shoulders. "Let's get to know each other. The real you and me that got.. buried at some point." He offers.

"Why on a trip?" You ask.

"Because it's perfect." He chuckles. "Close proximity of the hotel room we'll share, stress of navigating the unfamiliar environment, the tension of not being able to just 'escape' any uncomfortable situation right away forcing us to talk things out as they happen-" He begins, and your mouth shapes an 'o' as you realize what he's talking about.

"It's a stress-test." You say, and he nods, grinning.

"Exactly." He nods.

"…to be honest you're already stressing me out." You jokingly reply-

Jungkook laughing, and you have a feeling he's not done that in a long time, with the way his ears turn red and his hand covers his mouth in embarrassment of that outburst.

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When Taehyung opens the door, he instantly greets his son who Jungkook has put down the moment he'd noticed the young father arriving at the front door to let him in.

"Oh wow." Taehyung laughs as Jungkook walks in, almost nervously running a hand through his hair. "Is the world ending? Apocalypse? Or am I high?" He jokes, making Jungkook roll his eyes. "No, seriously! I didn't even know you could still put those piercings back in!" He laughs, taking Dae's school backpack to take out his lunchbox so he can sort out the leftovers and wrappers from his snacks.

"It was a bit tricky, I won't lie." He laughs a little. "But they didn't really close all that much since I had them for so long, so it wasn't a big deal." He shrugs.

"What's the occasion?" Tae wonders, throwing the wrappers of Daehyun's snacks in the trash. "You most certainly don't look like you're gonna go to a meeting like that. What happened to 'I'm not in my twenties anymore' huh?" He jokes.

"I'm honestly not sure." He answers, hands in the pockets of his pants. "Just.. felt like it. And I'm not going to the office- I took time off." He confesses.

"Okay, are you running a fever?" Taehyung asks, and Jungkook laughs to himself. "Are you gonna meet up with your.. friend?" He air-quotes, and Jungkook nods, checking the silver watch on his wrist.

"Yeah- we're meeting up later, she's currently packing her things last thing she texted me." He nods. "Our flight is in about three hours from now, but it's her first time flying, so we wanted to be there a bit early just in case." Jungkook shrugs.

"Oh, fancy." Taehyung laughs. "Why though?" He wonders, washing the colorful lunchbox of his son in the sink.

"Stress testing." Jungkook offers. "We just want to see if we can handle each other under pressure." He says, and Taehyung sighs.

"My god Jungkook, can you just once try and not make everything more complicated than it has to be?" He worries. "Just spend time with her. Go out for a coffee or something, watch a shitty movie at home and let her suck you off during the commercial break or something, you know, like NORMAL people!" He whines. "You're acting as if this is some million-dollar business discussion. It's really not." He huffs out in frustration. "Listen, I know Eve fucked you over bad, and honestly you've always had a shit-taste in women to begin with because holy fuck if I think back to Lucy-"

"Can you get to the point?" Jungkook complains, a little embarrassed as his friend brings up his admittedly terrible dating history.

"-yeah, sorry." He laughs. "But, trust me-" Taehyung says, drying his hands before he puts them on his friend's shoulders. "-she's honestly perfect for you. Once you help her get her confidence back up, trust me, you've got yourself someone who's not a raging cunt for once." He finishes his rant, and Jungkook takes a deep breath.

"You think?" He worries, and Taehyung nods.

"I do." He says, patting his friend's back before he leads him to his front door. "Be yourself. And I mean, your real self. Be that goofy dude who cries during disney movies and folds his laundry to Depeche Mode at 3 am."

"Why would I do that?" Jungkook cringes, thinking his friend is joking- but he's surprised to find Taehyung with a soft gaze instead, an encouraging smile on his lips.

"Because that's the Jungkook I know." He offers, a somber look on his face.

"And I miss him."

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"Let me take that." He offers, taking the suitcase from you. It's small, scratched up, and he can't help but notice the stickers on it. "You good to go?" He wonders, and you nod, closing the door before locking it, walking next to him out the apartment building towards his by now familiar car, his own luggage already in the trunk where he puts yours now as well.

The moment you sit next to him inside, is when you notice how.. different he is today. Not only from looks alone- but it feels different, oddly enough. Lighter. Not as serious as he usually is. "I wondered what those.. spots were." You say, looking at him from the passenger side, and he raises his brows while stopping at a red light, turning his head towards you, who points to your own lower lip.

"Ah, yeah." He chuckles, a bit bashful. "I.. got them done in my early twenties. Took them out though, because.. I don't know." He shrugs.

"You don't know, of do you just realize that the reason was stupid?" You giggle, and he sighs, with a smile on his lips however.

"Caught me." He confesses, changing lanes as he makes his way to the airport.

"Why'd you put them back in?" You ask, leaning against the car door a bit.

"Because I wanted to be myself." He explains. "I.. like I said. I want you to get to know me. And not the person I became to please others around me." He tells you.

"I assume your.. ex wife didn't like the piercings?" You ask, testing how far you can pry into his past and how much you can poke until he tells you off. But much to your surprise, he seems rather unfazed by the topic.

"She hated my tattoos as well. Wanted me to get them removed constantly." He chuckles, and you're intrigued.

"You've got tattoos as well?" You ask, and he nods.

"Maybe I'll let you see them later?" He flirts, and you grin to yourself, adjusting your legs a little as you stay quiet. "Either way, Evelyn didn't like a lot about me."

"Then why did she marry you?" You ask, noticing too late how mean that question could come off.

"Probably for my bank account." He simply laughs. "I was.. stupid. I thought she was fixing me." He shakes his head. "I thought she only had my best interest in mind." He says, setting his turn lights to enter the airport parking area. "But she always hated me. Still does." He sighs, searching for a proper parking spot.

"Well, I don't hate you." You tell him.

"Yet." He mumbles, before he finally parks the car, turning off the engine. "Do you have your passport and everything on hand? Don't wanna have to unpack everything in a rush later at check-in." He tries to change the topic, but you look at him with eyes so soft that he becomes scared of them.

"Jungkook." You say his name, and he hates how kind it sounds. "As long as you're not like him, I won't hate you. Honestly, I don't even hate him." You tell him, and he nods a bit stiffly, before practically escaping the car, instead putting on his jacket before helping you take out your suitcase and handbag.

Inside the airport, he notices your nervousness, hand constantly reaching out but never holding on to him at all, in any way. It makes him chuckle a little as he watches you fight with yourself for quite a while, before he helps you check in.

You're clearly a bit overstimulated by everything going on around you, looking around anxiously, biting the inside of your lips constantly, even as you both sit down to wait for your gate to open for boarding. "Hey-" He reaches out to tug your lip from your teeth with his thumb, before he smiles in reassurance. "Okay?" He wonders, and you nod, though you're not looking at him. "Come here. You can hold onto me, by the way, if that helps you." Jungkook suggests, and you move your arms to wrap around one of his, body scooting closer to lean your face against his shoulder, sweater soft against your skin. He moves his arm around your shoulders to keep you closer, hand offering itself for you to hold instead, and you do so, fingers cold. "What's that scar?" He wonders, thumb running over a faint scar over the palm of your hand.

"A shoelace." You say, a little quietly.

"A shoelace?" He repeats, and you nod.

"Yeah." You confirm. "I had.. I was in the midst of changing the laces of.. Gregory's boots, because the dog had chewed them. But he got mad anyways, and pulled them out of my hand." You remember. "It happened really quickly, but I remember that it hurt badly." You chuckle. "It was an odd pain. Like my body couldn't decide whether or not I was burned or cut."

Jungkooks hand on your shoulder starts to move a little in a soothing motion, fingers circling around. It's his first confirmation that something did indeed happen, and he's almost convinced that what you just told him was probably not an isolated incident, but simply one of many that went down during your entire relationship.

"I didn't want him to get mad at Yogi. He already hated the poor dog enough." You sigh, closing your eyes as you settle against Jungkook's side. He enjoys this close proximity, the domestic feel of this moment, even though it's out in public and for everyone to see. He doesn't care.

"You can heal with me, you know?" He says, and you look up at him from where you're leaning against his body. "I can't promise you that.. our time spent will be all smooth sailing, but I can assure you that it will be nothing like what you've experienced." He hums towards you.

And you smile warmly, sighing. "Don't worry-" you giggle, closing your eyes.

"-It already is."

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

The hotel room is spacious, expensive looking, nothing like you've seen before.

Usually, you only really get to see things like these on vacation photos your friends show you- you yourself don't really travel, you technically don't take time off at all, rather always asking to have your off-days paid out instead if possible. You've got no reason to treat yourself with anything, be it time off or a full on vacation.

Your sense of self worth has shriveled up like rotten fruit over the years, now thrown out like the garbage it is.

Jungkook meanwhile clearly has a routine in him, as he walks through every room first to check if everything's okay, just to then place his bag somewhere near the bed, a big yawn escaping him as he opens the balcony door wide, letting the air of the seaside in. It's odd to see him dressed rather casual, simple but expensive sweater stretching over his broad back. His face still shows the clear stress he's accumulated, and it makes you wonder.

"Do you.. go on vacations often?" You wonder, and he shakes his head.

"No, usually I only fly out for business trips." He explains, watching you sit on the edge of the twin-sized bed. "I originally thought I should book two single beds, by the way. I just.. thought it might be more intimate like this." He tells you, leaning against the small balcony's edge outside, glass door open, as the wind blows through the curtains a little.

"It's okay like this." You nod, making him smile softly.

"Do you want to rest a little?" He asks, and you shrug, unsure. You only have three days- if you sleep now, it's probably annoying to him since he most likely planned something on this trip for you both to do. He at least comes across as someone who likes to have everything set out and structured- not like you, who dives in head first without any real plan. You don't want him to stay hidden inside the hotel room just because you're tired from the flight. "Hey." He asks, and you didn't even notice him squatting down in front of where you sit, his hands on your knees as he finds your eyes from where he's looking up at you. "Don't hesitate to speak your mind. If we want this to work, we need honestly, first and foremost." He encourages, and you nod.

"I'm tired- but I don't want to be boring." You worry.

"How would taking a nap be boring?" he chuckles. "I'm actually glad you're tired. I didn't want to come off as an old man who needs a break because he can't keep up." He laughs, standing up before he moves to lay down on the bed, patting the spot right next to him.

You lay down where he wordlessly suggested, taking in a deep breath while focusing your eyes on the collar of his sweater for a moment. It's when your gaze roams around that you notice something poke out on his wrist as he turns back around from removing his watch from the other arm. Your fingers curiously lift the fabric of the sleeve, making him chuckle quietly, before he moves to push the fabric up to his elbow, exposing different colors of ink underneath his skin.

What was Jungkook like when he was younger? Has he always been somewhat like this- or has he changed into this instead?

"Got them done in my early twenties too." He explains quietly. "Just.. lineart at first. Black and white." Jungkook remembers as he watches you trace some of the lines with your finger. "Then it got more. Over time, it looked a little messy- so I added color to it, this time actually going to a professional who specifies in forming sleeves." He tells you.

"Do you regret them?" You wonder. "Like.. your piercings and your tattoos?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

"It's not like I regret them." He denies. "I still like the look of them. The aesthetic of it. It's just.." He sighs, inked hand turning around palm up, and you put your own on top of his, making him move to compare your hand sizes palm to palm. "..they don't feel like me anymore." He shrugs.

"Maybe because they aren't." You offer, now holding his hand with both of yours, your eyes on the blurred ink underneath the skin. "Maybe.. you changed. Even though you didn't want to."

He did. He knows that he did- but what he struggles with, is the question if he can even go back now. He wants to, but at this point, he feels like he's crossed that line by now, too far to step back and take a different path. Most people around him nowadays only now this Jungkook, not the one he used to be. If he just reverts back to who he once was, will he lose every friendship and connection he's made after he married?

Marriage. The moment he changed.

Love can make someone truly blind to a lot of things. He overlooked so many warning signs, pushed old friends and even family away just because they saw what he did not- or more so refused to. He's not spoken to his own parents in years, by now too ashamed to admit that he'd been wrong for the entirety of his past relationship, that his mother was right about her. What would she think about you?

She'd like you, he's very sure about that. His father would probably be a little suspicious of the age gab, and his brother would most likely tease the living daylights out of him, but he knows you'd fit right in. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? What would they think of him?

He wants to ask you, but the moment he becomes aware and snaps out of his thoughts, your eyes are already closed, breathing even. You're still holding onto him, and he realizes that he's never actually had a moment like this with Evelyn in the past, not even when they were just a regular couple, and definitely not after they got married. He feels.. free. No pressure on him, no obligations awaiting him, nothing needed or expected from him. You're simply sleeping, and yet the act itself makes his pride swell, because of your display of trust towards him.

He knows you've been hurt. He knows that he's been hurt-

And maybe, just maybe, together, you can finally begin heal.

Change once more, for a final time, into a happier version of yourselves.

[crazycurly-77]

A beautiful day - pt. 1

On a wonderful sunny Thursday morning you stood up, showered and drank your morning coffee. It was a fine day, but something felt off. 

For some reason you had a bad feeling as if something will be going terribly wrong on this day. But as you drank the last sip of your coffee, you shrugged the bad feeling away and grabbed the key to your car to go to the gym. 

You were in your thirties, had long curly brown hair and were short, but lean muscled. You loved your job as a bomb specialist at the NCIS, because you had no fears of taking risks and you liked saving people, but sometimes you wished you had a family to come home to. Unfortunately your parents died in a car accident a few years ago and a boyfriend was nowhere in sight. So your colleagues became your family and you loved them dearly. 

Right at the moment when you wanted to start the engine, your cell phone was ringing. 

“Y/L/N,” you said as you picked it up. 

“We have a bomb in a big and crowded Shopping Center in Manhattan and we need you here immediately,” you heard Gibbs saying. 

“I'll be there as soon as possible,” you answered. 

You drove like a mad woman through the heavy traffic and after setting a new personal record, you finally arrived at the Shopping Center. 

Immediately you went to the MCRT and asked about the current status, “Tell me.”

Gibbs reported the necessary information to you, “All people were evacuated. The bomb is in the middle of the Center in a closed fountain and it has two wires, a blue one and a red one. The timer says we have 2 minutes until it explodes. Please be careful.”

“Okay, then let's go!” you declared and nodded, went to the back of your car, put your safety suit on and went to the bomb. 

Then you stood right in front of the closed fountain and saw the TNT with the timer. There was only 1 minute left. 

“Y/L/N, what's up?” Gibbs said into your earplug. You tried to keep your cool and answered, “can't see which wire is the right one. Think I'll cut the blue one. Wish me luck.”

“I don't like that,” Gibbs murmured thoughtfully. 

After you had cut it, the timer went much faster to zero than before.

“Fuck!” you yelled and ran as fast as you could to the entrance to get to safety. 

And then the bomb went off and Gibbs thought his heart had stopped. 

He couldn't believe what he saw and everything happened in slow motion. 

As the huge explosion occurred your ears were ringing. You took shelter behind a bar and thankfully had only a few scratches. 

With horror Gibbs saw as the bomb went off, the huge destruction it caused and all the debris laying around. Immediately he and the others searched urgently for you and yelled your name and then finally they saw you. 

Dirty and full of scratches you walked out of the destructed bar and went groggily to them. With great relief they all cheered that you were still alive and with a slight grin you said, “Crab, I should have taken the red one.” Which earned you a light head-slap from Gibbs after which he hugged you tightly and kissed your temple. 

Yep, that was your sense of humor and nobody could resist laughing. 

Who the bomb had built and why they did it was a matter to solve for Team Gibbs.

The boss himself will hunt the bomber to hell and back, because they had nearly killed you. 

But for now everything was just fine. The Shopping Center was indeed destroyed, but nobody died that day. 

So he said, “I don't like that someone so full of life as you is doing such a dangerous job. We have to investigate this case and I would like to have you in my team for a permanent transfer. What do you think?”

He smiled down at you and you watched him searching, then you said smiling “you want to protect me. You going soft?” 

That made him laugh briefly, he nodded and replied “yeah, I think I do.”

You grinned widely at him and whispered “then I will gladly transfer.”

He hugged you relieved and then asked, “since you have no family…maybe I can be your family…if you want?”

(Want to know the answer? Read pt. 2! 😉)

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Here you will find the other chapter of this story and the other stories I've written to date.

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Tags: @ilovemark1951, @hobby27

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[lanassgirlll]

Old Faces

part 1, part 2

Elijah Mikaelson x Fem!Reader

Summary: The last time you saw the Mikaelson family, you got left heartbroken. Now, you meet a certain member of the family again after centuries.

Warnings: maybe a little bit of angst? use of y/n!

AN: I don't really remember the original idea for this, since I published the first part almost a year ago, lol. But I wanted to finish it and I was in the mood to write, so here it is, the second part that I was supposed to post in January. It's short but at least it's something. I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

Sitting down on the chair Elijah had pulled out for her, Y/N couldn't stop thinking that agreeing to talk to him was a mistake.

She could remember the pain so well from all those centuries ago, and yet the love she used to feel for him back then was playing with her rational thoughts. Was it possible that a little spark of it was still deeply buried in her heart?

Y/N was so lost in her thoughts, she didn't even notice Elijah had sat down across from her on the small coffee table in the cafe he had taken her to.

He cleared his throat, maybe a bit too loudly, before speaking up.

"Y/N? Are you alright?"

She blinked a few times before slowly looking up at him. She stared in his eyes, seeing worry behind them? Surely her mind was playing tricks on her.

"You brought me here to talk, so talk, or else I'm leaving."

Y/N thought perhaps, she was being too harsh with her words, but she quickly dismissed the thought after remembering the horrible words he had said to her the day Elijah and his family had left her behind.

"Would you like something to drink first, perhaps a tea? You used to love tea-"

Y/N clenched her jaw and quickly cut him off mid sentence.

"I do not wish to chit chat with you like I have all the time in the world, as I said before. Get to the point or else I am leaving."

Elijah looked at her and sighed. He could still remeber her as if he had last seen her yesterday, and not centuries ago.

She hadn't changed much. Only her hair was much shorter and she seemed more.. on edge, more rude, than she used to be, but he couldn't be sure.

"I now realise that I have missed you, Y/N. And I know I have no right to say such thing to you, but it is only true."

As she heard his words, she rolled her eyes and looked to the side, so he couldn't see her face. She knew sooner or later her facade would break and her walls would crumble under the hurtful feelings that were consuming her. She was so confused.

"Yeah, you have no right to say this to me. You were the one who left me, remember? You were the one who broke my heart like it was nothing, knowing you were once everything to me."

"Y/N-"

But she cut him off yet once again, before he could say more.

"No, Elijah."

She turned to look at him again, before continuing.

"How could you do all that to me? I let you turn me into a monster, all because I was blinded by love. I left everyone I knew behind, so I could be with you. Everything I did, I did for you and your family, because I loved you, and you, you left me behind, all alone, like I never meant anything to you."

Tears were starting to form at the corners of her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away. She didn't want to let the pain from the past consume her.

Elijah could only look at her, a sad look in his eyes, as he reached over the table and gently took her hand in his, holding it tightly.

"You have no idea how sorry I am, Y/N. I know I made a mistake by leaving you, but I had no other choice, my father-"

"I do not want your pity. The time for an explanation has long passed. And I honestly.. do not care, not anymore."

She pulled her hand away from his grasp and took a deep breath. She couldn't hold onto old feelings, good or bad memories, or really anything that meant reconnecting with Elijah Mikaelson, nor his family.

"I was ruined after you left me. But that suffering shaped me into who I am today. Perhaps I still feel something for you, buried deep down, but I'd rather drown in vervain over and over again for eternity, than let that control me again."

She slowly stood up from the chair and looked down at him, a small smile forming on her lips. But it wasn't a mocking one or in any way mean. The look she had on her face way.. peaceful?

Elijah stood up as well, without looking away from her face.

But before he could say anything, she held her hand up in front of her and spoke up again.

"I wish things could be different, Elijah, but I'm sorry to dissapoint you, that they're not. I learned to live without you, and I will keep it that way."

She slowly put her hand down and stepped next to him, leaning up and placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Have a fulfilling and happy life, Elijah, I truly wish you all the best."

She gave him one last soft smile before speeding away, leaving only a trace of her perfume behind.

And all Elijah could do was stand there, shocked at their interaction. He wasn't hurt or mad, but what he felt was joy and pride.

He was proud of the woman she had become, how strong she seemed and even after all the pain he had put her through, she still had that endless kindness in her, that he had fallen in love with all those centuries ago, along with every other thing about her.

"Until we meet again, Y/N."

He said with a small smile, before walking away.

[avianyuh]

Too Late?///Yang Jungwon

You had been friends with Jungwon for about a year. In that time, mentally at least, it felt like you had gone through the five stages of grief. Mainly because over the time you had become friends, you had developed feelings for him. He was kind and always so considerate of you and just about everyone else in his inner circle. Not to mention he had that leader aura around him, he was just so responsible and interesting to watch. Who wouldn’t catch feelings? 

Problem was, you were 99% sure that he didn’t reciprocate your feelings. He was sweet and caring, but not just towards you. He was like that with everybody…So how could you be sure he was giving you “extra” attention or sending you secret love signals?

About three months ago, while out with Jungwon getting coffee you thought, just for a second, that there was a possibility of him viewing you as more than a friend. “You know my friend Gabby right?”, you asked, glancing up from the table to look at him. He had a hat on, trying to keep the sun out of his eyes since we were sitting outside. Both of you had been busy with your respective jobs, so this particular day was more of a catch up. He squinted, something he seemed to do when he was thinking, before responding back with a. “I think so…”

“She wants me to go out with her and her boyfriend next Friday, they want to introduce me to this guy…”, you tried to sound nonchalant. Your thought process was that maybe, just maybe if there was a potential “threat”, Jungwon might make a move. You tried to analyze his face, look for any crack of emotion. Surprise, sadness, shock, anger? Jungwon was silent for a few seconds, but he did raise his eyebrows, which you didn’t know how to interpret. 

“She’s setting you up on a date?”, he laughed, throwing his head back. You rolled your eyes as you waited for him to calm himself down. 

“It’s not that funny Jungwon…”

“Yeah it is. I can’t imagine you going on a blind date. You’ll never show, you’d get too nervous.”, he explained, staring into your eyes intently. 

“That’s not true!”, you exclaimed, “I’m…I’m actually really looking forward to it”, you lied, turning your head to the side so you didn’t have to look at him. Though he didn’t encourage you to go on the date, he still didn’t tell you anything of substance. Specifically something like, Go out with me instead. 

“Well, I am going on the date, I just wanted to tell you since we’re friends and that’s what friends do.”, he got quiet as he picked up his drink and took a sip. When he put it back down, he opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, but then he seemed to change his mind. 

“What?”, you questioned. “You were about to say something”.

“No, it’s nothing”, he responded. You didn’t understand why he was being so evasive. 

“Jungwon, I’m gonna annoy you until you tell me.”,you whined.. “Please, please, what is it”, you started to plead, but then he cut you off. 

“Alright, alright. I don’t think you should go, that’s all. It’s a waste of time. There might be someone better.”, Still being evasive. But you’d be lying if you didn’t admit, it was sort of what you wanted to hear. But still, you couldn’t be completely sure. 

“Um, who? You know someone who’s interested?”you probed. 

“Maybe”, he said slyly. 

“Who?”, you asked again. Maybe this was it, maybe he did have feelings for you. So, it wasn’t all in your head?

“I don’t know, I think I have a friend who mentioned you once, but I don’t remember who.” And with that, you felt your heart sink. Either he was telling the truth, or he didn’t want to admit to anything. Either way, you were stuck. Some people might have just right then and there confessed to him. And part of you wanted to do just that. Tell Jungwon how you felt. But, you started out as friends and if he rejected you, that not only meant you’d end up with a bruised ego, but probably would end up losing him as a friend. That was a risk you weren’t willing to take. 

The next day, you relayed your conversation to Jungwon to Gabby. 

“You know he likes you, right? I mean…it’s obvious.”, she explained as we sat on her bed. You sighed and shook your head. 

“I don’t think so. I feel like if he did, he would’ve said it by now.” Gabby side-eyed me as she sat up. 

“Girl, that was his way of saying it. This is the same guy that buys you random things when he goes on trips and then when you ask why he got you gifts, he says that he was thinking of you. That’s something a guy would do if he’s interested in you! Shit, my own boyfriend doesn’t do that…” You laughed, but had to admit that Gabby had a point.  

“Ugh”, you covered your face with a pillow, “Then what do I do? Should I go out with your friend? I mean, I told Jungwon and he didn’t seem to be that bothered. He told me that he has a friend who’s interested in me. I feel like I’m being auctioned off or something…”

“What friend?”Gabby asked, “Does he have a name.”you uncovered your face and looked up at her. 

“No, he didn’t give me a name.”

“That’s because HE is the friend. He made it up to buy himself time.”

And you truly believed that. 

But, the date came and went. But surprisingly, you actually hit it off with this friend of Gabby’s. He was sweet, seemed really interested and for once, got your mind off of Jungwon. So the next morning, you woke up to a text from Jungwon asking how it went. When you responded back explaining that you really liked this new guy, Jungwon simply sent back an eye roll. 

And now, it’s been three months. You now had a boyfriend that wasn’t Jungwon.  And you thought that you were over him. So when he reached out for your annual coffee catch up, you thought it was just that, a catch up. 

You did the same routine as always. You met up outside, went in and ordered and then sat at the same table back outside. You started off by asking about the tour that was coming up, to which he dismissed rather quickly. 

“So, I guess you have a boyfriend now…”, he said hesitantly. “Are you happy?”, he questioned. 

“What do you mean?”, you responded back. 

“Well, I don’t know, sometimes you aren’t happy in a relationship. Maybe if it’s not the right person…” The minute he said it, you felt like you had a weight in your stomach. 

“Jungwon, what are you implying? You haven’t even met him yet?”

“I don’t want to meet him.”, he snapped. 

“Why? Aren’t you happy for me? I mean, I’ve wanted to be in a relationship for a long time.”

“If you wanted one, why didn’t you ask me?”, he yelled. I stared at him in shock. All this time and I was right? 

“Why didn’t you ever say anything Jungwon? Now I’m with someone else…”

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship if you didn’t feel the same way.”

“That’s why I didn’t say anything either…”

{A/N: Dudes, I have writers block, which is why you haven't heard from me in over a month, but I felt bad so I write this last night. By no means is this my best work (duh), but...it's something and it's pretty dialogue heavy. Maybe I'll make a part two if anyone likes this. I know I don't normally write for Enhypen, but XO slapped lmao, I keep listening to it. And I gotta admit, I kinda have a crush on Jungwon lmao. So, yeah, that's why you're getting this fic. Hope everyone has a lovely day/night/ whenever!, I do have a request that I haven't written yet, which should come out soon, so if you sent it in, I promise that I will eventually write that for you. Peace yall✌️}

P.S. If there's typos, I'll come back and edit later

[sofiaispunk]

dbf!Joel Miller x Reader - Part 5

a/n: Here's the promised longer chapter. I really really do appreciate your support on this series. I hope you guys are doing good and please share your ideas and thoughts of how you want this series to go. Without further ado... enjoyyyy

Tommy leaned forward, "You know, (Y/N) I've been thinking. You might just be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Tommy and you sat across from each other at the small table in the coffee shop, sipping on your drinks and chatting. You’ve been getting to know each other for about an hour, laughing and sharing stories and you must admit, you had an amazing time with Tommy.

Your conversation was flowing effortlessly and Tommy had a way of making you laugh, his genuine kindness shone through every word he spoke.

You blushed and  tried to laugh it off. "Oh, please. You're just saying that because you want another date."

Tommy grinned. "Well, you caught me. I do want another date. But I also mean it. You're stunning."

You smiled, feeling a flutter in her stomach. "Thank you, Tommy. You're pretty easy on the eyes, yourself."

Tommy chuckles. "Just easy on the eyes, huh? Last time i checked I was fucking gorgeous, but I'll take it. But really, I'm having a great time with you. I haven't laughed this much in ages."

You rolled your eyes at that, continuing to enjoy your conversation and the warm ambiance, when you got distracted. Your eyes wandered to the scene unfolding just outside the window. A woman with familiar features was engaged in an intimate conversation with a man. Your heart skipped a beat, your gaze fixated on the woman's face.

“Tommy, look. Isn't that... Irene?” you whispered.

Tommy turned his head, his eyes following your gaze. He squinted, trying to make out the figures outside. But your curiosity got the best of you, and you couldn't resist the urge to investigate further. Leaving your coffee aside, you rose from your seat and headed towards the door, with Tommy following close behind.

You approached the couple outside with a respectable distance to not get noticed. The woman turned slightly, revealing her face unmistakably. It was Irene, Joel's wife, engaged in an intimate kiss with the man. Your eyes widened, shock coursing through your veins.

“Tommy, are you seeing this? That's 100% Irene. What is she doing with that man?” your voice was filled with disbelief.

Tommy's jaw tightened, his features hardening. ”I cant believe she would do this in public, for everyone to witness. Un-fucking-believable.” He seethed through gritted teeth.

“Wait, you knew? How long has this been going on?" you looked at him in surprise.

Tommy's voice softened as he reached out, gently squeezing your hand, his gaze filled with empathy. You accepted his hand, allowing Tommy to guide you back into the coffee shop.

"About a year now," Tommy said, taking a sip of his coffee, as you both sat down again. "Joel found out a few months ago, but he hasn't confronted her yet. I think he's still trying to figure out what to do."

You immediately felt a pang of sympathy for Joel. It was clear that he was going through a tough time, and you couldn't imagine how he must be feeling. "That's really tough. I don't know how he's managing to keep it together," you said.

Tommy nodded in agreement. "Yeah, he's trying to protect Sarah as well. He doesn't want her to find out about what's going on between her parents. It's a really messed up situation."

You felt a wave of sadness wash over you. You wished there was something you could do to help Joel, but you didn't know what. You decided to change the subject, not wanting to dwell on the negative. "So, you wanted to go to the park, right?" you asked.

-

 After finishing your coffees, you found yourselves strolling through a picturesque park. The park was adorned with lush greenery, vibrant flowers, and the sound of chirping birds filled the air. The scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the gentle breeze, creating a serene atmosphere.

As you continued to stroll alongside Tommy, your mind was filled with well.. pretty much just Joel. You couldn't help but think about how Irene could do such a thing to Joel. He deserved so much better than her. Joel was always there for everyone, a genuinely kind and caring person. You held yourself tightly, reminding yourself that you were on a date with Tommy, not Joel. You had made a choice to give Tommy a chance, to explore what could be between you. Yet, your heart seemed to have a mind of its own, constantly bringing you back to thoughts of Joel. You scolded yourself internally, determined to stay present and focused on Tommy. You couldn't deny that talking to him was effortless, fun even,  and the conversation between you two flowed naturally. Tommy was undeniably a nice and good-looking guy, and anyone would be lucky to have his attention.

But deep down, you felt this tinge of disappointment in yourself. You wanted to feel that spark so badly, that undeniable chemistry that would ignite something more. You had hoped that this date would provide the clarity you needed, a chance to move on from your infatuation with Joel. Yet, as much as you enjoyed Tommy's company, that spark remained elusive.

You glanced at Tommy, who was now joking about a squirrel running across your path. He had a way of effortlessly bringing a smile to your face, and you couldn't deny the genuine connection you two shared. But that spark, that magnetic pull you longed for, seemed absent. Why couldn't you just let go and give Tommy a damn chance?

.

Lost in your own internal battle, you barely registered the last words of Tommy's story. He turned to you, his eyes filled with warmth and curiosity. "What about you? Have you ever had a similar childhood adventure?" he asked, his voice laced with genuine interest.

You snapped back to reality, realizing you had zoned out, again. So you forced a smile, trying your best to appear engaged. "Oh, uh, not quite as adventurous as yours," you replied with a hint of self-deprecation. "But I do have a few funny memories from my childhood. Maybe I'll share one with you someday."

Tommy's smile widened, and he gently nudged your shoulder. "I'd love to hear all about them, sweetheart. We've got plenty of time to create new memories together."

Suddenly your eyes lit up with childlike excitement, as you spotted the pair of swings in the distance.

"Oh, look! The swings! I haven't been on one in ages. Care to join me?"

Tommy raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Well, sweetheart, I must warn you, I have a reputation for being the Swing King. Are you ready to witness my incredible swinging skills?"

You laughed, playfully nudging him. "Oh really, Swing King? Now that’s just bad wording. But show me what you've got!"

The two of you raced to the swings, and soon enough, you were soaring through the air, your laughter mingling with the gentle breeze. Tommy swung higher and higher, effortlessly pushing you to new heights of exhilaration, grateful and relieved from the distraction of your own thoughts.

Your carefree laughter filled the park, drawing the attention of other park-goers who couldn't help but smile at the infectious joy radiating from the pair.

-

As the evening drew to a close, Tommy drove you back to your house. The car ride with Tommy was, as expected, an absolute blast, with laughter and banter filling the air. You chatted away like old friends and shared old stories and jokes. The car slowed down, coming to a gentle stop in front of your home.

"Tommy, I-" you started to say, turning towards him but he interrupted you with a soft kiss.

The kiss was gentle but full of passion, and you felt your whole-body tingle with surprise. You immediately pulled away, feeling slightly breathless.

Tommy smiled at you, his eyes full of warmth. "Sorry, I just couldn't resist."

Your mind was spinning as you processed the unexpected kiss. You had enjoyed your time with Tommy, and a kiss after a fun date was perfectly normal, right?

You backed up slightly, your eyes still locked with Tommy's, who was searching for answers. "Tommy, I... I didn't expect that," you confessed, your voice trembling slightly.

Tommy's expression softened, and he reached out to gently hold your hands.  “I'm sorry if I crossed a line. I just... I couldn't help myself. You're amazing, and I've really enjoyed getting to know you today."

Your conflicting emotions swirled within you once again making your head hurt.

"Tommy, I... I had a great time today too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "But I have to be honest with you. I need time to figure things out and sort through my feelings. I don't want to rush into anything without being certain."

Tommy nodded and reached out to you, gently squeezing your hand. "It's important to me that you're happy. I care about you, and I want what's best for you. Take all the time you need, and when you're ready, I'm here."

You felt a pang of regret, knowing that you may be letting a good opportunity slip away. But you also knew that you couldn't deny your true feelings. You clenched your fists, frustrated at your own inability to feel what you were "supposed" to feel. It wasn't fair to Tommy, who had been nothing but kind and understanding. He deserved someone who could reciprocate his feelings wholeheartedly. You felt guilty for not being able to give him that. "Thank you, Tommy. I appreciate your understanding. You're a great guy, and I hope we can still be friends."

Tommy's expression fell, but he quickly recovered and leaned back in his seat. "Friends it is then." He leaned over and planted a soft kiss on your cheek. "Goodnight, sweetheart. I'll call you soon." He flashed you a charming smile before you got out of the car and starting walking over to your house.

The mix of emotions you felt, threatened to overwhelm you as you watched Tommy drive off but you didn’t had time to dwell on your whirlwind of emotions that’s been going on in your head and sort them because you spotted Sarah sitting alone on the sidewalk across the street. There was a sadness in Sarah's eyes that tugged at your heart, and you hurried over to her.

"Sarah, what's wrong?" you asked with concern.

Sarah sniffled and wiped away a tear. "It’s my parents. They are fighting again. It got really bad, and I just couldn't bear to be in the same house anymore."

Your heart sank at her words. You knew how difficult it must be for Sarah to witness her parents' constant conflicts. You put your arm around Sarah, offering her comfort. "I'm here for you, Sarah. You don't have to go through this alone."

Sarah nodded, her voice trembling. "It's been happening more and more lately."

You gently squeezed Sarah's hand. "I'm so sorry, Sarah. It's not easy to see your parents going through this."

Sarah wiped away another tear. "I just wish they could stop fighting. It hurts so much."

You couldn’t help but hug Sarah tighter, offering her support. "I know it hurts but remember that it's not your fault. Sometimes grown-ups have their own problems, and it's not something we can fix. But we can be there for each other."

Sarah nodded, the tiniest faint of smile forming on her face. "Thank you. I'm glad I have you as my friend."

The two of you stood there for a moment, finding solace in each other's presence, when suddenly the door swung open and Joel stepped out onto the porch. His eyes were weary, but his expression softened as he saw his daughter. He pulled her into a tight embrace, murmuring words of reassurance and apology. Sarah, finding comfort in her father's words, disappeared into the house, after bidding you goodbye, leaving you and Joel alone in the fading light of the evening. 

"Thanks for talking to Sarah earlier. She really needed someone to be there for her."

You nodded, your eyes filled with empathy. "Of course, Joel. You know I'm always here for her, for both of you."

Joel let out a deep sigh, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “Honestly, I feel like such a shitty dad sometimes. Irene and I, we argue so much, and it's affecting Sarah. I just don't know how to protect her from all of this anymore.”

Your gaze shifted to Joel's hand, noticing the pink glittery nails that adorned his fingertips. A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips.

"You know, Joel, I think you're an amazing dad. Look at those nails. Three days ago, Sarah painted them on you, and you're still proudly wearing them. That's love, Joel. You're willing to go the extra mile to make your daughter happy, even if it means sporting some glittery nails."

Joel chuckled, glancing down at his nails. "Yeah, she insisted on it, and I couldn't say no. Seeing her smile when she painted them was priceless. It's the little things, isn't it?"

You nodded, a warmth spreading through your chest. "Exactly, Joel. It's those little moments that matter the most. Sarah knows she has a dad who loves her unconditionally, even in the midst of all the challenges. And that, my friend, makes you an incredible father."

Joel's eyes met yours gratitude and a hint of amusement twinkling within them. “You know,  you're something special, right?“ he began, and something in the air shifted, you were not sure what, but the atmosphere between Joel and you became charged with a newfound electricity, crackling with unspoken desires. Time seemed to slow down, your hearts beating in sync, as the unspoken tension between you became palpable. "I can't help but feel that you deserve so much more than what you settled for." His voice suddenly grew serious, his eyes searching yours.

You looked at him, your heart fluttering with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. "More than Tommy?" you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel just looked at you, a bittersweet smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Tommy’s great. I just mean you deserve someone …Someone who would cherish you, who would give you the world," he replied, his words carrying a weight that hung low in the air. "Someone who sees your beauty, both inside and out, and appreciates every intricate detail that makes you who you are. " In this moment you yearned for his touch, his affection, but the fear of crossing boundaries had kept you at arm's length.

"Someone like... you?" you whispered, your voice laden with longing.

Joel's eyes held a mixture of longing and regret as he reached out, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek. "Darlin’, you have no idea how much I wish I could be that someone," he confessed, his voice filled with a yearning that mirrored your own. "But – “

You didn’t wait for the but. For the doubts and restriction, quite frankly you had enough of all that. In this moment all the logic were defied and all that mattered was Joel and he wanted you.

So, in a moment of both vulnerability and bravery, you leaned in, your lips gently brushing against Joel's.

Joel's eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly surrendered to the sweet intoxication of the kiss. His lips responded with equal fervor, a perfect harmony of longing and surrender. The world around you faded into the background as you lost yourselves in the embrace, your souls entwined in a dance that defied time and logic. As the kiss got more heated, more frantic and Joels grip tightening around your waist, you both understood the complexities of your situation, the obstacles that stood in your path. But in that moment, none of it mattered. You were simply two souls, baring your hearts to each other under the moonlit sky.

You pulled away slowly, your breaths mingling in the air as your eyes locked, mirroring the intensity of your emotions. Words were no longer necessary; your hearts spoke volumes in the silence that enveloped them.

Your fingers trembled against Joel's cheek as you whispered, your voice filled with a mix of vulnerability and certainty, " I- I am sorry."

He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle and tender. "Don’t be."

[snail-eggs]

Kiss prompts- 9 for Xiola!

yea okay. here u go :)

pairing: Viola DeWynter/Original Female Character

warnings: we're in Xixi's head again. does that need a warning?

divider: @/saradika

The coffee they’re drinking is complete and utter dog shit. Some instant, ancient shit that Viola found in the back of some cabinet in the penthouse and neither of them wanted to go out for something real to drink, so expired coffee it was. 

Xixi’s is sludging at the bottom, thick and dark and bitter despite having all the sugar and milk in the world. She got a taste of the sludge with her last sip—almost yaked into the pool. Hasn’t touched it since. Instead, she’s been twiddling her thumbs like a nervous kid. Anything to avoid looking at Viola. But she’s been listening, and listening well. Almost like she gives a shit about stories of Viola’s childhood, of every single time she and Kiki switched places in high school, fought over clothes, boys—girls. Xixi smiled at all the right moments, asked questions like she was engaged.

But it isn’t like anything. She is engaged—she does care. A terrifyingly new concept for her as far as Viola is concerned. Hell, now in this light, Xixi could almost see herself loving her. Love is more terrifying than just caring. Love makes her nervous, makes her want to cut and run. Its a pattern that she’s more than aware of. Hardly gives a shit about it, though.

The sun is just barely coming up now and Xixi’s ankles are cold in the water, sloshing around absentmindedly. Bare knee knocking against Viola’s. Steelport feels the farthest from home she’s ever been and somehow she’s just fine with it, so long as she’s next to her. She looks at Viola; a chill runs up her spine. Viola brushes her foot against Xixi’s in the water, looks lost in thought.

“You ever think of going back?” To Stilwater she means, surely.

Xixi shrugs, “I’ve thought about it. Don’t know, though. I kind of like it here.”

“Its a shithole.”

“Everywhere’s a shithole, Vi. This one isn’t half bad.”

“I just get it, you know, if you want to leave.”

“Jesus, are you trying to get rid of me?”

Viola’s feet come up out of the water. She faces Xixi and brings her legs in to sit criss-cross. Looks at her with a real grave expression and it makes Xixi feel like she’s in trouble. So she lays back onto the concrete; avoids Viola’s line of sight entirely and looks up at the barely there stars, at the night sky slowly fading into that familiar shade of blue that’s been owned by dawn since the beginning of time. She sighs.

“I’m not trying to get rid of you,” her voice drifts into Xixi’s ears as if it’s the stars speaking to her. Viola’s voice might just be the nicest music she’s ever heard. “But I know I’m the last fucking person you want to be around, in the last place on the fucking planet that you want to be.”

And then, almost on instinct, “That’s not true. That’s not true at all.”

“Absolutely, it is.”

“You’re being really dumb. Like, you’re acting like me—its so fucking stupid. I’m here because I have to be, yeah, but I’m here with you ‘cause I want to. Nobody’s forcing me to.”

For a moment, Xixi fears that Viola’s disappeared completely. Or that she really is going mad and Viola was never here at all. But there’s a sudden warmth beside her, a shoulder against hers. They’re laying side by side now; the backs of their hands barely a few centimeters apart. Xixi feels a compulsion to reach out and hold her hand. A strange sort of yearning. Her heart races at the thought and she keeps her eyes on the stars.

It’s pathetic, she thinks, to feel all giddy inside over Viola after what she’s done. After what she’s cost her. But still, at the most molecular level, she yearns for her—yearns just to touch her hand. Xixi wonders for a second, if this is how he felt, though she dares not utter his name, even in her mind. It would spoil the moment—whatever this moment is. If he did feel this way all those years ago, then she understands it. Understands it completely now. Xixi lolls her head to the side, in Viola’s direction, studies the side of her face. Her profile against the lightening sky. If she were any sort of artist, she would commit this vision to memory. Create her magnum opus with it, but she’s nothing of the sort. Not even close.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you liked me.”

“I do like you.”

“I’d think you really liked me.” Xixi’s wearing a shit-eating grin now. Hand inching closer to Viola’s, guided by warmth. 

“Are you high?”

“When am I not.” And Viola snorts at this, rolls her eyes. Xixi’s hand makes contact with hers, fingers wrapping around a palm ever so gently. A feather light touch, if anything. Her heart races—she feels like she’s on something.

She wishes she was on something. Her face is on fire, she can feel the slightest tremble of her hand. Xixi’s a fucking wreck; she hates it. Hates this newfound helplessness but she sits with it, lays there beside Viola and tightens her grip on her hand, though its still light. Xixi feels—well, she doesn’t quite know what she feels. Knows she felt something adjacent to this years ago. Remembers high school, a shock of badly dyed red hair, a cold body beside her in bed. Tears well in her eyes and she can see Viola’s brows furrow in response. She cannot bring herself to look away, though. Would almost feel wrong to hide now that she’s bared herself like this. 

“Xixi, I swear to god if you’re gonna start crying.”

“I’m not.”

“I don’t know how to deal with that shit.”

“Oh, I’m well aware.”

“Seriously, don’t get all soppy on me.”

“Thought you’d like me all soppy.”

“What?”

Her hand slips from its place clutching Viola’s, momentarily she mourns the loss of warmth but its gained once more when her palm finds itself soft against her cheek. Xixi is acting on pure instinct as she half rolls onto her side—leans in to press her lips against Viola’s and there’s a fraction of a second where she feels genuine fear. A pooling of dread in her gut because Viola isn’t kissing back. 

And then she is. 

Xixi nearly does start crying, so overcome with whatever this is, but something tells her that would be fine. She could cry here, with Viola’s skin touching her palm and that would be okay. She pulls back—strains her neck just to take in the sight of her. 

Viola smiles. 

[jrob64]

Pet for Rent , Chapter 3/4 (The Adoption) A CS Modern AU Story

Ready for Chapter 3? Here we go!

Thanks to all of you who are reading and liking this story that was purely written because it was therapeutic for me. It was a year ago today that my Zeke was diagnosed with cancer. This is also written for all of you who have sent a beloved pet over the rainbow bridge yourself. I hope you find it an uplifting story, even though it was born from a broken heart.

Chapters on Tumblr - Ch 1 (The Meet Cute) Ch 2 (The Idea)

Chapter summary: Emma and Killian go out on a date, and Winston has his 'gotcha' day.

Rating: M (for smut in the last chapter, which can easily be skipped if that's not your thing)

Words: 7108

Also posted to Ao3 and ffn

Story begins under the cut

“Wake up, kid,” Emma said the next morning, gently shaking her son.

Henry rolled over and rubbed his eyes, then looked at the Minecraft clock on his nightstand. “You never wake me up this early on Sunday.”

“I know, but we’re going to church today.”

He pushed himself up in bed, yawning widely. “We usually watch it virtually, though. You said you like to do it that way.”

“Yeah well, today I thought we would go to Gentle Shepherd Church. I’ve heard good things about it, including the fact that it has a Sunday School class for you and an adult one for me.””

  “I thought only kids had Sunday School classes.”

“Well, Killian said the adult class is more like a Bible Study.”

“So this is the church where Killian goes?”

“Yeah. It is,” Emma said.

“Oh, boy!” Henry exclaimed, throwing the covers off and jumping out of bed. “That’s where Mr. and Mrs. Nolan go, too!”

Emma laughed. “I guess you do pay attention sometimes.”

“Do I have to dress up?”

“Killian said it’s casual. Just wear your khakis and a nice shirt. I’m going to get breakfast started.”

“Can we have pancakes?”

“If you promise not to get syrup on your clothes,” she replied, as she left the room.

As they ate, Henry wondered aloud if anyone from his class at school went to the church they were going to attend.

“It’s very possible, there are only three churches in town.”

“That would be cool! Are we going to sit with Killian?” he asked, before shoving a huge forkful of pancake in his mouth.

“Take smaller bites, Henry. I don’t want to have to give you the Heimlich manuever this morning.” That earned her a mischievous grin around his mouthful of food. “I don’t know who we’ll sit with, honestly. Belle and Liam go to that church, also.”

Henry swallowed. “They do? I haven’t seen Belle for a long time, and I never met Liam.”

“It has been a while. Hopefully, we’ll be seeing her more often.” She took a drink of her coffee, then slowly set the mug back on the table. “Listen Henry, I need to tell you something.”

He swirled his last bite of pancake through the small lake of syrup on his plate, then looked up at her curiously. “What?”

“I, uh, I talked to Killian last night after you went to bed, and um, he asked me to go out with him.”

Henry’s eyes widened. “On a date?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Tuesday evening. I’m going to ask Belle if she can watch you. Is that okay?”

“Uh-huh,” he said, his shoulders rising and falling in a non-chalant shrug. “Where are you going?”

“Out to eat at that nice Italian restaurant down by the harbor.”

“Okay,” he said, then put the remainder of the pancake in his mouth.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

He swallowed before saying, “I like Killian. He’s always really nice to me, and to you, too. Plus he likes soccer and dogs.”

Emma chuckled. “I guess that makes him a good guy, huh?”

Henry nodded, grinning widely. “Yep.”

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Emma pulled into the parking lot, marveling at the number of vehicles already parked there. She hadn’t realized so many people attended the church.

When she first came to town, she took Henry to a different church a few blocks away, but they didn’t have a nursery and Henry was too active to sit still through an entire service. By the time it was over, she was worn out from trying to keep him quiet, received several dirty looks from sanctimonious people, and had gotten nothing out of the sermon. After a few weeks, she gave up and started watching live church services that were posted on YouTube instead.

“There’s Killian’s car,” Henry piped up from the back seat, having spotted his black Elantra.

Emma pulled into the open space beside it and cut the engine. Looking in the rearview mirror, she pushed strands of hair behind her ear and checked her lipstick.

“You look good, Mom,” Henry said. “I haven’t seen you wear a dress for a long time.”

She smiled at him in the mirror. “Thanks, kid. I haven’t had a reason to wear one for a while. I figured I might as well since they’ve just been hanging in my closet.”

They exited the car and approached the building, wondering which door to enter.

“Hi, Henry!” a voice called from behind them.

They turned to see one of Henry’s classmates from school “Hey, Nicholas! I was hoping some of my friends would be here.”

“John, Devin and Mike will be here, too. We’re all in class together, and so are some of the girls.” Both boys rolled their eyes.

“Be nice,” Emma admonished.

They followed Nicholas and his family in through the side door, which led to the Sunday School rooms at the back of the church building. Emma walked with her son back to the class room where Nicholas led them, and met his teacher, Miss Bell.

“The kids all call me Tink,” she told Emma when she introduced herself. “Because of my last name, and the fact that apparently I look like a fairy.”

Emma laughed. “I suppose I can see that,” she said, taking in the petite form of the other woman. After seeing that Heny seemed to be comfortably settling in, she returned to the hallway, searching for the area where the adult class met.

“Emma!”

She turned to see Belle approaching, Liam’s hand clasped in her own as he trailed behind his fiancée. “Hey, you guys. It’s good to see you,” Emma said.

“You, too,” Belle chirped. “After all the times I’ve invited you to join us here at church, what made you decide to come today?”

Liam draped his arm around Belle’s shoulder. “Come now, Sweetheart, do you really need to ask that question? I think she might have gotten an invitation from my little brother.”

“Younger brother, you mean.” Emma turned to see Killian walking up behind her. “Good morning, Belle, Liam. Good morning, Swan. I’m very happy to see you made it. Is Henry already in his classroom?”

“Yeah, I just dropped him off. He’s excited to know several of the other kids.”

“Good! Our class meets in there,” he said, gesturing to a large room to her right.

They walked in to see two dozen people milling around, chatting with one another. Emma instantly spotted Henry’s school teacher, who smiled and waved when she saw her enter the room. Then she saw David walk in with two cups of coffee, one of which he handed to his wife.

“Would you like some coffee, Emma?” Killian asked.

“Uh, sure. That would be great. One sugar, please.”

“Have a seat anywhere. I’ll be right back.”

She watched him go, then sought out Belle and Liam, who had struck up a conversation with the Nolans. Walking over, she smiled at everyone. “Hello.”

“Good morning!” David’s wife greeted cheerfully. “I’m so happy to see you here, Ms. Swan.”

“I’m happy to be here, but please call me Emma.”

“Of course, and you can call me Mary Margaret, although Mrs. Nolan might be a little less of a mouthful!”

David chuckled, looking at his wife adoringly, before turning his eyes toward Emma. “This is the first time you’ve been to this church, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. I’ve gotten into the habit of watching church services on YouTube on Sunday mornings, but with Henry getting older, I wanted to find a church that offered classes for a kid his age. Killian was telling me about the Bible study and the Sunday School program here and I thought we would give it a try.”

“Did I hear my name?” Killian said, coming up beside her. He gave her the coffee and a grin.

“Aye, we were just talking about the world’s biggest pratts,” Liam said.

“Liam!” Belle admonished, elbowing him. “We’re in church!”

“Could everyone please take their seats so we can get started?” a man with curly, red hair announced.

“That’s Archie, the teacher of the class,” Killian told Emma, gesturing to two open seats.

They sat down with Belle on Emma’s right and David on Killian’s left. “He’s the town psychiatrist, isn’t he?” Emma asked quietly.

“Aye. He leads excellent discussions in class and is great at getting everyone involved.”

Forty-five minutes later, Emma completely agreed with Killian’s statement about Archie Hopper. She thoroughly enjoyed the Bible study and was eager to find out if Henry liked his class, too. That question was answered when she stepped out into the hallway and her son came bounding toward her, grinning from ear to ear.

“How was it, kid?” she asked, unnecessarily.

“It was great, Mom! Can we come back next week?”

The church service proved to be inspirational and quite enjoyable, too. They sat in a pew between Killian, and Nicholas’ family. Afterwards, they stayed and chatted with several people Emma recognized from town, all of them making the newcomers feel very welcome.

When the service ended and it was time to leave, Emma and Killian shared a conspiratorial look before she asked Henry, “Hey kid, how would you like to have lunch with Killian?”

“At Granny’s?” he asked.

“No,” Killian chuckled. “Granny closes her diner on Sundays. Didn’t you see her in the choir?”

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t think about that,” Henry said. “Where will we go, then?”

“Killian invited us to his place to make sub sandwiches. How does that sound?”

Henry turned towards Killian. “Do you have bologna?”

Killian grimaced. “Afraid not. I won’t have that vile stuff in my home. I have ham, turkey, salami and cheese.”

“Ketchup?” Henry asked hopefully.

Trying to control another grimace, Killian said, “Aye, if you insist on it, I do have ketchup.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Killian lived in a two-story apartment building at the opposite end of town from Emma and Henry’s house. After they made their sandwiches and ate lunch, Killian showed them around. Besides the open kitchen/dining/living room area, it included a decent sized bathroom and two bedrooms, one of which he used as his office for work.

His apartment was on the first floor, and the sliding back doors opened out into a fenced-in common area for the building. The yard wasn’t huge, but it was big enough for a swing set for the children who lived there, as well as an open, grassy space, shaded by a couple of large trees.

As Henry stood looking around the area, Killian moved behind him and put his hands on his shoulders. “What do you think, lad? Is the yard big enough for a dog?”

Henry slowly turned his head to look up at him. “Are you getting one?”

Emma moved to stand in front of him. “Killian and I have been talking. I’ve been saying it wouldn’t be fair to adopt Norman because he would have to be cooped up in a crate all day…”

“But I work from home, so I’m here all day…”

“So if we adopted Norman…” She looked up at Killian, encouraging him to continue.

“I could take care of him during the day and he would stay with you in the evenings and overnight.”

Henry’s head was swiveling back and forth as the adults explained their plan, the confused look on his face morphing into one of surprise and cautious happiness. “So…so you’re saying we’re gonna adopt him?”

“If you promise to help take care of him and train him to obey,” Emma said.

“I will! I promise!” he shouted, flinging his arms around her waist. “Thank you, Mom!”

“You’re welcome,” she said, kissing the top of his head. “We wouldn’t be able to do it without Killian, though.”

Immediately he ended their hug and turned to give Killian one. “Thank you!”

“You’re very welcome, lad. I’m looking forward to having Win-, er, Norman as a companion, too.”

“We really ought to decide on one name,” Emma said. “He’s going to be confused if we’re calling him two different things.”

“Well, I suppose the better choice is Norman, since that’s the name the shelter gave him.”

“Do you think Norman is a good name, Mom?” Henry asked.

Emma shrugged her shoulders. “One name is as good as the other, as far as I’m concerned. You and Killian figure it out.”

“Let Henry name him,” Killian said. “I consider the dog to be his.”

“What do you think, kid?”

Henry scrunched up his face in thought. “Remember the book you read to me a long time ago that had a really mean woman in it? Her name was Norman, wasn’t it?”

“Her name was Norma,” Emma chuckled.

“It kinda sounds the same and you had to stop reading that book because she scared me, remember?”

“Are you saying you prefer Winston?”

He lifted one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “I guess. Is that alright?”

“Fine by me. Like Killian said, it’s up to you.”

“Winston will be so happy we’re adopting him!” Henry declared.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Killian called David the next day to tell him of their plans to adopt the dog. David was very excited and told Killian the paperwork would be ready and he would have Winston fully vetted, licensed, chipped and groomed by the time they picked him up on Saturday.

When Killian called to relay this news to Emma that evening, she said, “I’ll pay the adoption fees, since he’s going to be Henry’s dog.”

“Emma…”

“No, I want to do this. That way, if you do move away, I won’t feel bad about you paying for a dog you don’t get to keep.”

He was quiet for several moments, considering her offer. “Okay, I’ll agree on one condition - that you let me pay for his food, treats and toys for the first month.”

“That will probably add up to more than the adoption fees,” she teased.

“That’s entirely possible,” he agreed, chuckling. “I understand Liam is going to come over with Belle to watch Henry tomorrow evening. Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, I already talked to Belle about it today. I told her not to do anything that might scar my kid.”

Killian laughed again. “Poor Belle, she’ll have to make sure two kids behave.”

They chatted for another hour, finalizing plans for their date and discussing everything they would need for Winston. When they finally ended the call, Killian sat staring at his phone for several minutes, deep in thought. Emma’s comment about him possibly moving away had him mentally ticking off the pros and cons of such a move.

When he finished, he had far more reasons to stay, and the one at the top of the list was Emma Swan.

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“Mom! Belle and Liam are here!” Henry yelled.

Emma quickly finished applying her tinted lip glss, then did a final inspection in the full-lenth mirror. She was wearing a 3⁄4 sleeve deep red dress with a modest V neckline, the straight hemline falling just above her knees. Her ensemble was completed with black heels, silver jewelry and a black clutch purse. She’d spent extra time applying smokey eye makeup and curling her hair, which fell loosely down her back.

Satisfied with her reflection, she pulled her black and white houndstooth peacoat out of the closet and left the bedroom. Henry was just getting ready to open the door when she entered the living room.

“I’ll get the door, kid. You know I don’t like you to open it.”

“But I already saw who it is,” he protested.

“Sorry, but that’s the rule,” she reminded him, moving to the door as a knock sounded. She opened it to reveal Belle with Liam standing close behind.

“Oh, Emma, you look lovely!” the other woman exclaimed.

“She’s right,” Liam agreed. “You look far too nice to be going out with my little brother.”

Emma laughed and gestured them inside. “Thank you, but I think he would object to being called your little brother.” She took their coats to hang up, showed them where the emergency numbers were, and gave them instructions for Henry’s bedtime routine.

Just as she finished, there was another knock on the door. Before going to answer it, she gave the engaged couple a nervous smile and ran her hands down the front of her dress.

When she opened the door, all her nerves seemed to fly away, replaced with a sense of happiness at the prospect of going out with the man in front of her. Killian stood there, scratching behind his ear, a habit she found incredibly endearing. He was dressed in dark gray slacks, a white button down shirt and navy blue sports coat. She was pleased to see his eyes widen slightly when he saw her.

“Swan, you look…stunning,” he said.

“Thank you, Killian. You clean up pretty well yourself.”

“Hi, Killian!” Henry piped up, coming to stand beside his mother.

“Hello, lad. Are you ready for a fun evening with Belle?”

“What about me?” Liam asked, appearing behind Henry. “I’m a fun guy.”

“You make yourself sound like a mushroom, brother,” Killian snickered.

Liam folded his arms over his broad chest. “Are you really sure you want to go out with this idiot, Emma?”

“Yes, she is,” Belle said, “and the two of you are wasting time with your banter. Emma, you and Killian go and have a wonderful time. Don’t worry about Henry. He’s in good hands.”

“I know,” Emma said, bending down to kiss her son’s cheek. “Be good and listen to Belle and Liam, okay?”

“I will. Have fun, Mom.” Wrapping his arms around her, he added, “I love you.”

“I love you too, kid.”

“Goodnight, lad,” Killian said, ruffling the boy’s hair.

“‘G’night, Killian. See you Saturday!”

During their exchange, Emma went to get her coat and purse from the kitchen chair where she left them. When she returned, Killian took the coat from her and held it up for her to put on. After saying their final goodbyes, he escorted her down the sidewalk to his car, his hand resting on the small of her back.

Once they were both buckled into the comfortable leather seats, he looked over at her, picked up her hand, brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “You truly do look beautiful this evening, Love.”

“Thank you,” she replied, knowing that her cheeks were beginning to turn the same color as her dress.

Giving her one more smile, he started the car and pulled away from the curb. Emma had wondered if things would be awkward between them during the date, but they carried on their conversation just as easily as they had from the very first day.

Each time she went out with a man, she caught herself constantly checking the time on her phone and wondering how Henry was doing. Tonight however, she was so caught up enjoying the good food, wine, and the handsome man she was with, she completely lost track of time. When she finally checked her phone screen as they pulled up in front of her house, she was shocked to find it was nearly eleven o’clock.

Killian opened her door and offered his hand to help her out of the car. They continued holding hands as they strolled casually up the sidewalk, the early autumn air cool against their cheeks.

When they reached her front door, she turned to him with a demure smile. “I suppose this is where I tell you I had a wonderful time and debate whether or not I should give you a kiss.”

He chuckled lowly. “Aye, I suppose it is. So tell me, Swan, what’s the verdict? Did you have a wonderful time?”

She put her hands on his chest, rubbing them over the lapels of his jacket. “Yes, I did. I don’t date very often, and this is by far the best date I’ve had in a very long time, maybe ever. I find it very easy to talk to you.”

“I feel the same, Emma,” he said, taking a step closer to her. “Now, have you made your decision about…”

She didn’t give him a chance to finish. Pushing up on her toes, she pressed her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his neck as she felt his encircle her waist. She intended the kiss to be brief, but found she quite enjoyed it and didn’t want it to end.

It was interrupted when the light outside her front door suddenly turned on, nearly blinding them despite their eyes being closed.

“What the bloody…” Killian began, just as the door swung open.

“Tsk, tsk, little brother,” Liam said with a maddening smirk on his face. “Kissing on the very first date? Wouldn’t that be considered bad form?”

“Liam, bloody hell!” Killian retorted.

At the same time, Belle’s voice could be heard from the living room. “Liam Albert Jones! That was mean! Just for that, you won’t be getting a kiss from me tonight when you take me home!”

As Liam pleaded his case, Emma giggled into Killian’s chest. “I guess our date is officially over.”

“Next time, could you please ask Belle not to bring my wanker of a brother along to watch Henry?”

“Next time?” Emma questioned. “I don’t remember you asking for a second date.”

Killian reached around her to close the door, then gazed into her eyes. “Will you go out with me again?” he asked quietly.

Her eyes darted back and forth between his, floored at the depth of hope and sincerity she saw there. She opened her mouth to answer him, but instead found herself kissing him again. This time, when they separated, she leaned her forehead against his with a sigh of contentment.

“May I take that as a yes?” he whispered.

“Absolutely,” she breathed. “Thank you for a fun and memorable evening, Killian.”

“It was my pleasure, Emma. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Turning around, she opened the door slightly, then glanced back over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Killian.”

“Goodnight,” he replied.

She went inside and closed the door, leaning against it with a dreamy smile on her face. She had nearly forgotten she wasn’t alone, and was startled when Belle spoke.

“If that look on your face is anything to go by, I don’t need to ask if you had a good time.”

Emma could feel herself blushing, but gave her friend a smile and said, “I really did. We’re planning to go out again. By the way, Killian requested that if you watch Henry when we do, you forbid Liam to come along with you.”

While Belle laughed, Liam said, “Henry will disagree with that. He had a lot of fun with his Uncle Liam tonight.”

Emma’s jaw dropped. “You told him to call you ‘uncle’? Why did you do that?”

“He didn’t, he’s pulling your leg,” Belle explained, glaring at her fiancé. “I’m happy to report that Henry was much better behaved than Liam, who is going to have to earn his way back into my good graces.”

Hiding her giggle behind her hand, Emma listened to the couple playfully bicker, still able to feel Killian’s kiss on her lips and the happiness in her heart.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

On Friday, Emma picked Henry up from his after school sitter Ashley’s house and they went to Killian’s apartment. He insisted on making them homemade pizza before going to the store to buy necessities for Winston.

Henry chattered animatedly throughout supper, the topics ranging from how much he loved the pizza and who he sat with at lunch, to the new book he checked out at the school library. Most of all, he talked about all the things he and Winston would do together and how he would train him.

Emma and Killian shared humorous glances across the table while they listened. Since their date, they had texted each other a few times during the day and carried on lengthy phone conversations every evening after Henry went to sleep.

When they pulled into the parking lot of the pet supply store, Killian turned off the car as Emma looked back at her son. “Now, remember Henry, we have quite a bit of stuff left from Ernie, so we’re not going to buy a lot, okay?”

“Okay, but we can help Killian pick out everything he needs, right?”

Before Emma could answer, Killian said, “Of course, lad.”

“You might regret that,” she murmured, earning her a grin.

As they browsed the aisles, Emma slipped her hand into Killian’s. She felt him give it a squeeze and looked over to see him gazing at her with a warm smile. Then she turned her attention back to her son, who was examining the assortment of collars and leashes.

“What color do you think Winston likes better - red or orange?”

“Dogs are color blind, kid,” Emma informed him, “so I don’t think he will care one way or another.”

“Oh, yeah,” Henry said. “Well, which one do you like, Killian?”

“I recently developed quite a fondness for red,” he answered, giving Emma a wink. She blushed, knowing he was referring to the dress she wore for their date.

“That’s my favorite, too,” Henry declared, selecting a red leash from the rack. Emma and Killian helped him pick out a matching collar that was the right size for the fifty pound dog. They were added to the cart Henry was pushing, then they moved on to the aisle containing the dog beds.

As they looked over the display, Emma took the leash from the cart and studied the tag. “This says it’s good for dogs up to fifty pounds,” she read. “I think we should get the next bigger size, don’t you?”

Henry and Killian both agreed, and Emma left to go replace it. When she returned, she stopped short at the end of the aisle, blinking back sudden tears. Henry was kneeling on the floor in front of the beds, running his hands over them as he carried on a commentary about which one was the softest. Killian crouched beside him, his hand on the boy’s back, his attention completely focused on what Henry was saying.

For eight years, Emma denied herself a relationship with a man because she hadn’t met one that she thought would be a good match, not only for her, but more importantly for her son. Either they got skittish when they found out she had a son, or they tried too hard, overcompensating for their lack of experience with kids.

Then, thanks to a simple mistake on her part, she met a man who was fitting into their life so naturally, it was almost too good to be true. Her heart as a mother swelled witnessing how well Killian and Henry got along and what a truly wonderful role model Killian was for her son. At the same time, her heart as a woman fluttered at the possibility of finding someone who could be a perfect match for her.

Taking in a deep, steadying breath, she walked down the aisle to join the two most important people in her life.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Saturday morning, Henry knelt on the sofa, his arms crossed on the back of it as he watched intently out the window for Killian’s car. Emma shook her head at her son’s impatience, but in all honesty, she was just as excited for the man to arrive.

Once they finished shopping the previous evening, Killian invited them in to watch a movie. The three of them browsed through the options on Killian’s streaming platforms, ultimately allowing Henry to choose The Super Mario Bros. Movie.

Killian made a huge batch of popcorn and the three of them settled on the couch to watch. Henry sat in the middle, holding the bowl with his eyes glued to the screen. Emma and Killian found themselves enjoying the movie too, even though they originally didn’t think it would hold any interest for them.

By the time the final credits rolled, the boy’s head was lolling against Killian’s arm. When Emma tried to get her son to wake up so they could go home, Killian took pity on the sleepy child and easily lifted him into his arms to carry him to Emma’s car. Before getting in the car herself, she and Killian shared a short, sweet kiss and she promised to call after Henry was in bed.

After arriving home and getting her son settled, Emma talked to Killian until she was starting to fall asleep and he teased her about finding him boring. The entire evening caused her emerging feelings for him to deepen even more.

Now, she was standing behind her son, watching for the familiar black car to turn the corner.

“Do you think he forgot?” Henry asked.

“He said he would be here at nine-thirty and he has ten more minutes. Try to be patient.”

Henry turned around, sat down, then rested his head against the back of the couch and heaved a sigh. “I just want to go get my dog.”

“I know, kid,” Emma soothed, rubbing her hand over his hair. “I’m excited to bring him home, too.” Glancing out the window, she smiled and said, “Look who’s here.”

His head shot up and he jumped off the couch, shouting, “He’s here! He’s here! Let’s go!”

Killian didn’t even have a chance to put the car in park before Henry was sprinting out the door, with his mother following behind him, still pulling on her coat.

Killian had just climbed out of the car when Emma reached the end of the sidewalk. “He’s a little eager to get there,” she said dryly.

“You don’t say,” Killian chuckled, looking into the back seat where Henry was already buckled in, nearly vibrating with excitement. Brushing a kiss against her cheek, Killian placed a hand on the small of her back to escort her around the rear of the car.

When they arrived at the shelter, Henry jumped out, clutching the new collar and leash in his hands. “C’mon, Mom,” he urged, hopping from foot to foot as he waited impatiently for the adults.

“Hold your horses, kid,” Emma replied, stepping from the car and closing the door as Killian did the same. “We have to sign some paperwork and pay the adoption fees, so it’s going to be a little while before Mr. Nolan brings Winston to you.”

“I know,” he said, “but the faster we go in there, the sooner we’ll get him.”

“You’ve got a point,” Emma agreed.

The three of them crossed the parking lot and Killian held the door for them to go inside. David was sitting at the desk behind the counter, a huge grin creasing his face when he saw them enter.

“Good morning!” he greeted. “I think Nor-, um, Winston senses something is going on. He was very excited when I fed him and let him out in the exercise yard this morning.”

“He probably knows it’s his ‘gotcha day’!” Henry declared. Turning to his mother, he added, “I told you he’s smart!”

David chuckled as he spread the paperwork out on the counter. After explaining each page, Emma signed where he told her and wrote a check for the fees. Henry gave him the collar so he could attach the dog license and chip information to it, then he asked the boy if he wanted to go with him to get Winston. To no one’s surprise, Henry jumped at the chance.

While they waited, Emma moved closer to Killian, reaching out to take his hands. “Thanks again for helping make this happen. It’s been hard watching Henry grieve for Ernie and have to tell him we can’t get another dog.”

“I can imagine, Love. I’m very happy I could help.” Dipping his head, he met her willing lips to share a kiss with her. After it ended, he said, “We need to plan our next date.”

“Yeah, about that,” she said, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to leave Winston with Belle and Liam until he gets a little more used to his surroundings.”

He nodded in understanding. “That’s true. Well, if we can’t go out on a date, perhaps we can plan one where we stay in.”

“At my place or yours?”

Before he had a chance to answer, the door to the back opened and Winston came through, straining forward on his leash and practically dragging Henry behind him. Emma and Killian bent down to try to pet the whirling dervish of a dog, attempting to get him to settle down.

“I think you’re right about him knowing something special is happening, Dave,” Killian said. “I’ve never seen him act this way.”

“Dogs seem to have instincts about these things,” David noted.

“Is he ready to go?” Emma asked.

“Yep, he’s all yours!” David replied happily. Reaching down, he scratched the dog behind the ears. “Be good, Winston. Enjoy your new family!”

They went out the front door, laughing at the way the dog practically strutted to the car. Once they were all buckled in, including Winston with his new doggy safety belt, Killian drove out of the parking lot. Henry patted the dog’s head and said, “You’ll never have to come back here again, boy. You’re going to live with us forever.”

The drive back to Emma’s seemed to go much more quickly than the one to the shelter. Killian pulled up to the curb and Emma reminded Henry to hold tightly to Winston’s leash so he wouldn’t run into the street.

Killian walked up the sidewalk behind them, but stopped short of following them into the house. When Emma realized it, she asked, “Aren’t you coming in?”

“I, uh, I didn’t want to assume.”

“If you don’t mind sharing me with a boy and a dog, we can consider today a date,” she grinned.

He returned the grin. “Sounds good to me.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

  After a full day of romping and playing with Winston, it was easy getting Henry to go to bed that evening. When Emma went into his room after he was done showering and brushing his teeth, she found him already under the covers with the dog laying beside him.

“He does have a bed, you know,” she said, without any intention of making the dog move.

“He likes it here, don’t you boy?” Henry said, rubbing the dog’s belly.

“If he needs to go out in the middle of the night, make sure you wake me up, okay?”

“I will,” he yawned. “Are we going to church tomorrow?”

“I’m planning on it. David said Winston seems to be crate trained, so we’ll see how he does in there for a couple of hours.”

They went through Henry’s bedtime routine and he was already asleep by the time she read one page of their current book.

“He’s one happy kid,” Emma said as she went back into the living room and sat down beside Killian on the sofa. “And you played a big part in making him feel that way.”

Killian toyed with the hem of his button-down. “You give me far too much credit, Love.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked, reaching out to tangle her fingers with his fidgeting ones.

“Because he’s been a happy lad since the first day I met him, and none of that was due to me. It goes to prove that he has a wonderful mother.”

“Some days I’m not so sure about that.”

He kept his head down, studying their entwined hands for several moments. Without looking at her, he said quietly, “Remember I told you that the woman I was dating previously was married?”

“Yeah.”

“She was several years older than me, and not only did she hide her marital status from me, she also failed to tell me she had a son.”

“Oh, wow,” Emma said. “That really must have come as a shock.”

“Aye, it did,” Killian affirmed. “One day after we broke up, I parked along the street down from his school and watched her arrive to walk him home. I wasn’t being a stalker, I was just curious. Her son was about the same age Henry is now, but he was nothing like your boy.” He finally looked up at her. “I’ve never seen a child look as sad and dejected as her son. It was as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his small shoulders.”

“Poor little boy.”

“Aye, and I’m sure it was because of the choices his parents made. They cared only for themselves and their own gratification, not about how they were affecting their son.” He reached forward to brush a wayward strand of hair away from her face. “Emma, it’s quite obvious that starting from your very first decision to bring Henry into the world and raise him by yourself, you’ve made his happiness your priority. It’s one of the things I admire the most about you.”

Her face warmed from his praise. Scooting a little closer, she leaned against him and he put his arm around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I enjoyed our date today,” he said, “and I certainly didn’t mind sharing you with Henry and Winston. It did my heart good to see how much they love each other already.”

“Winston was sleeping on Henry’s bed and looked completely comfortable there. I just hope he doesn’t wake us up too many times during the night.”

“Well, he’s past the puppy stage and wasn’t able to go out at night while he was at the shelter, so maybe he won’t get you up at all.”

“That would be nice. I don’t want to be yawning during the sermon tomorrow.”

He leaned back to look at her. “I’m happy to hear you’re coming to church again.”

“Yeah, Henry and I both really liked our classes and I thought the service was great. I especially enjoyed the music.”

“I heard you singing. You have a beautiful voice.”

“Thank you,” she said, her face reddening again. “I didn’t realize I was singing that loudly.”

“I don’t think you were, I was just standing close to you. You shouldn’t be self-conscious about singing praises to God, anyway.”

“That’s true,” she agreed, snuggling closer to him. “Do you want to watch something?”

“If it’s all the same to you, I’m quite content just talking,” he murmured.

“Mmm, me too,” she hummed. “Why is it always so easy to talk to you?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps we’re soul mates.”

“Do you believe there is such a thing as soul mates?” she asked, looking up into his face.

“I didn’t,” he replied. “Until I met you.”

Their lips connected for a long, sweet, languid kiss.

“Killian?” she whispered, when they parted just enough for her to talk.

“Yes, Love?”

“Maybe I’m not content just to talk.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Emma went to bed two hours later with the taste and feel of Killian’s lips still lingering on hers. He starred in her dreams and she awoke the next morning with a smile on her face. After yawning and stretching, she realized Henry hadn’t woken her up at all during the night to put Winston out.

Throwing back the covers, she quickly padded down the hall to his room. Peeking around the edge of his slightly open door, she smiled at the sight of the boy and dog still asleep.

After showering and getting dressed, she woke them up, took Winston out while Henry dressed, and went back inside to fix breakfast. As she was stirring the scrambled eggs, Henry entered the kitchen and immediately went to get Winston’s food bowl. They had already agreed that feeding him and keeping his water bowl filled would be Henry’s responsibility.

They sat down to eat and Emma smiled at the sight of the dog sitting right beside Henry’s chair. “Don’t forget that we’re not feeding him from the table. I don’t want him to get into the habit of begging, like Ernie did.”

“I know,” Henry said, then chewed thoughtfully for several seconds. He swallowed and said, “Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you love Killian?”

Emma really wished she hadn’t just taken a sip of coffee, because she nearly choked on it. With watering eyes, she asked, “What makes you think that?”

He shrugged. “You guys hold hands and sit really close together and everything. I even saw him kiss you. You have to love somebody to kiss them, don’t you?”

Emma’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, resembling a fish out of water. She thought she and Killian had been discreet when they shared brief kisses, but apparently her son witnessed at least one of them.

“Killian and I, we…we’re just dating, Henry,” she finally managed to say. “People date to get to know each other, to…to see if they might, um, fall in love. Kissing is a part of dating, but it doesn’t mean we love each other.”

“So you don’t love him?”

“I…I honestly don’t know yet. I do like him and I like spending time with him. He’s fun and he makes me laugh.” She leaned across the table and placed her hand on top of Henry’s forearm. “How do you feel about me dating Killian? It’s always been just you and me. Would you be upset if he and I did fall in love?”

“Would you get married?”

The question took her by surprise, but she maintained eye contact with him, wanting to show him how much his opinion mattered. “Not without you being okay with it. You always come first, Henry, and I won’t do anything to make you unhappy.”

“I wouldn’t be unhappy if you fell in love with Killian and married him.”

“You wouldn’t?”

He shook his head decisively. “Nope. I like him. He’s really nice to me and I can tell he makes you happy. You smile and laugh a lot more when he’s around. I think it would be cool to have Killian as my dad. That’s what he would be if you got married, right?”

“Technically, he would be your step-dad, but that doesn’t make any difference and I’m sure it wouldn’t matter to Killian, either. I appreciate how he treats you and how he likes spending time with you.”

“Yeah, me too. And Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“I think you, me, Killian and Winston would make a great family.”

She smiled and gently squeezed his arm. “I think so too, kid.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Thanks so much for reading. The last chapter will be posted next week!

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[omegaremix]

Cath-, 2013.

My friend Catherine and I were two weeks away from meeting up for the first time in six years. For a good nine months, conversations escalated. The more we spoke, the more time we needed to answer each other back. She was interested in my progress from a personal collapse, and I was interested in her health. We had a lot of parallels and things in common. Since we had our own personal setbacks and what-if scenarios, there was a lot of potential of what could and should have happened. The euphoria to meet up, pick up right where we left off, and arrive at a vital turning point in our lives was real.

Right before we met in April three years ago, she had given me several vital updates about herself. The good news was that she re-upped on graphic design courses at community college. Her discovery of David Carson took me by surprise as I was a huge fan of Raygun Magazine. I became the reason she took to blogging, and she started illustrating for personal projects. The bad news was that she was arrested for using in a coffee house parking lot. Relations with her family were very contentious, and her blog entries detailed scheming, past troubles, and sexually-explicit acts in shocking and heart-jumping detail. The balance of good and bad is always the Libra.

The more time passed, the more anticipated our next answers would be. It was sophisticated conversation, a true rarity in my world. That was what had us trading ten-page replies. What we also traded were music recommendations. We had done this before over ice cream when we first met during the last decade, and we were going to do it again. Thanks to her dealer circle, she discovered KMFDM and Skinny Puppy, so I gave her a plentiful amount of both, then congratulated her for now becoming an industrialist. She then send me her recommendations: Bikini Kill, Huggy Bear, Babes In Toyland, Heavens To Betsy, and Bratmobile.

It was expected and I was not surprised. She had a rough social life in high-school and wasn’t taught proper survival, self-esteem, or coping skills. Moreso, she had a lot of bad instances with the wrong men she had met in her life, most using and abusing her. So Catherine took to getting new skin. She definitely had her reasons. She needed some ammunition and reinforcements in Kill Rock Stars and Lookout! as the obvious de facto choices in female teeth. The music was not only a small sieve in what Catherine was about, but also part of the Omega spring shows simply because they were damn good.

These are just the few cuts I found through Catherine that would later become part of our radio show. They also are a red stamp of the era of conversations, issues, and  soul we had, and more, for the rest of that spring; things still so unreal after the fact that it still resonates with me.

Bikini Kill “New Radio”

Heavens To Betsy “Waitress Hell”

Babes In Toyland “Laugh My Head Off”

Huggy Bear “February 14”

Bratmobile “Shut Your Face”

Babes In Toyland “Bruise Violet”

Heavens To Betsy “Get Out Of My Head”

Babes In Toyland “Oh Yeah”

[spellcasterlight]

what do you do when you feel really sad?

Hi there Loveable Lion Anon! 🦁

First of all, I get the feeling you maybe sent this ask because you're feeling sad yourself? If so, I'm so sorry to hear that 😔

For your question, what do I do when I'm sad? Gonna put this under the cut so people can scroll by!

Warnings: Crying. Brief Mentions of Dying.

Firstly, Anon, this is just what I do and probably won't work for others. Sadness is hard to deal with and so personal. One person's coping methods are not a script for someone else. I can only reply with what I do!

Now usually I will be the first to admit I'm quite a cheery person so when I am sad it usually tends to hit me like a train.

I deffo have my cry. I've never been a yeller or a social media ranter or anything like that, but I do cry. I don't know if it's the air quotes best thing to do, and I would never tell anyone to do this, but I do. I have a sit down somewhere private (usually my bedroom) and just have a little therapeutic cry to compact and release the overwhelming feelings that come with something seriously bad happening.

But after that, when I'm on the comedown of releasing all that sad energy, I always think, "Is this a heart-stopping moment?" and the answer is always no.

I won't go into details. They aren't pleasant, and no one wants to read them. Still, basically, just over ten years ago, I had a "this is it, this is how I die" moment and not in a sarcastic going to die of embarrassment or someone exaggerating a hangover, but what I thought was the real deal.

So, whenever my logical thinking starts to kick back in after that first burst of crying, I travel back to that point, to my very lowest, to the point where I thought my mother was going to come in and find me dead, propped up in bed by pillows like a lifeless doll because my body had simply given up, nothing but a shell and, part of me knows it's a horrible thing to say, but, it puts whatever made me sad into perspective.

Even when my tears are still flowing, I can accept the realization that I'm okay, I'm still alive, and I will still be alive after it. I can handle whatever felt so overwhelming ten minutes ago.

(That might all sound a bit dramatic to someone just reading it, but yeah, that's what happens.)

The world isn't ending, so what do I do now?

I always want to do something about it. For example, a few months ago, I panicked that I was wasting my life, that I was achieving nothing, and that there was so much I wanted to do, but I was a complete failure because I wasn't doing any of it.

I cried, had my moment of clarity then googled around for some ideas on how to tackle. I now make a monthly calendar of all the stuff I want to dabble in (writing, digital drawing, hand drawing, reading, more exercise, my course etc) and I have it so every evening I will do one of those things. Sure, I won't be the next Picasso or Einstein or anything, but I'm doing something. Being both productive and getting a little joy in creating at the same time.

I also try to put a little goodness back into the world even if I'm really not feeling very happy at that moment.

I'll send a message into the girlie chat telling them how wonderful they all are. I'll tell my friends who are parents how adorable their children are. I'll leave a big tip the next time I go out to eat or if I see a cool musician playing on the street. I'll send some Tumblr asks just telling people they're awesome. I'll speed up my walking so I can hold a door open for someone struggling with a pram or a walker. Buy my parents some flowers or my boyfriend some ice cream. That kind of thing.

Because the only thing that would make me feel worse is if my crappy mood brought down someone else. Seeing other people happy helps make me feel better as well, you know?

It's also good to plan something, even a little something, to look forward to. A holiday, a meetup with friends, a day at the beach, an afternoon with nothing to do but sit in a coffee shop, even a lie-in—whatever makes you make a note in your calendar and think, "Can't wait!"

I honestly don't know if this is helpful or not 😂 Maybe some others would like to be brave and share what they do as well?

If I'm right, and you did send this because you're feeling sad, I hope things turn around, and you feel better soon!

Sending all the good vibes your way! ✨

[densi-mber]

Thinking on Your Feet

***

Fic idea kindly suggested by @mashmaiden.

***

“But is it legally wrong or just morally unacceptable? Because while both are an issue, only one is subject to legal ramifications,” Deeks said, deep in debate with Rosa over a scenario posed in one of her college classes.

They didn’t get it spend as much time together these days, so when Rosa had asked if Deeks could pick her up while her car was in the shop, he’d jumped at the chance.

“It’s definitely morally wrong,” Rosa answered, starting out slowly, but then her speech speeding up as she got into it. “Probably legally wrong since no laws were broken. Though I personally find the idea reprehensible.”

Deeks nodded in approval, a smile quirking at his lips. “A girl after my own heart. You’re going to make an amazing lawyer if you decided to go that route.”

“Thanks, but I’m not sure I’m really fit for the…cut throat aspect of it all.”

“Yeah, that kind of caused some problems for me too. Which is why I didn’t last long as a public defender,” Deeks mused. He shrugged. “You’ve still got time though, and there’s always non-criminal law like I do now.”

“That’s true.”

They were quiet for a couple minutes, the silence lasting until Deeks pulled into a speedway.

“Do you need any snacks?” Deeks asked as he waited for the tank to fill.

“I think I can wait until we get home,” Rosa said, then inclined her head. “Though some coffee would be nice. I stayed up late last night studying.”

“Yeah, I do not miss exams.” Deeks scrunched up his nose in distaste. “Here, get your coffee and can you grab me—”

“Max Gentry, I knew I recognized that voice!” a tall man growled, appearing in front of them.

Deeks had roughly three seconds to remember the name “Bart” and instinctively move in front of Rosa before his head snapped back with a brutal punch. He staggered back a few steps, raising her arm to ward off any further blows as the man shouted something else.

Deeks had a few brief encounters with him years ago, but apparently it was enough to cement Max in the guy’s mind. And not in a good way.

“He isn’t Max!” Rosa shouted, pushing in front of Deeks. “This is my dad, Jake.”

Deeks gaped at her back for a moment, squeezing Rosa’s shoulder in a silent warning to stop. Amazingly though, Bart froze in the act of throwing another punch, his hand still hanging in mid-air.

“You trying to tell me Max has a twin?” he barked out suspiciously.

Rosa started to speak again, but Deeks intervened.

“Yeah, lucky me.” Deeks wiped a trail of blood off his chin with the back of his hand, letting his arm shake a little. “Let me guess, he owes you money or something.”

“No, not exactly.” Bart’s eyes bounced between Rosa and Deeks. “You know where he is?”

“No,” Rosa answered quickly, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. Deeks couldn’t quite tell if it was an act or if she was truly afraid. “We haven’t seen him in years.”

“That the truth?”

“I wouldn’t know where to find him, and I have no reason to look,” Deeks responded, and Bart suddenly looked nervous and ready to bolt.

“Sorry about that.” He nodded to Deeks’ face.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

With another shifty glance in their direction, Bart shuffled back a few steps, then took of at an awkward run, jumping into a battered sedan parked alongside another pump.

“Are you ok?” Deeks asked, turning to Rosa, gently holding her arms. She looked a little shaken up, but remarkably unaffected.

“Yes, I’m fine. What about you?” She reached up to touch his face, and he winced instinctively before she made any contact.

“I’ll be all right. Let’s get out of here before someone thinks of calling the police.” He was slightly surprised no one had come out to investigate, though he supposed it made a certain amount of sense.

“You’re not calling the police?” Rosa asked as Deeks quickly closed the gas tank, and nudged her to get in the truck. He pulled out of the gas station almost as fast as Bart, driving towards home.

“I’ll give Bates what I have when we get home, but right now it’s better we get away from here before there’s too many questions.” He stopped the truck alongside a park, and turned to face Rosa. “Speaking of which, what the hell were you thinking engaging with him?”

“Law isn’t the only thing that you taught me about,” Rosa said, having the nerve to smirk. “I know you and Kensi tried to shelter me from most of what you did with NCIS, but I still saw enough. It is much harder than I thought it would be to think up lies so quickly. You’ll have to help me with that.”

“Unbelievable,” Deeks muttered, stunned. “No, no, absolutely not. I’m not training you to lie and make up aliases on the spot because this isn’t going to happen again.”

“Oh please, teach me just a little bit. Kensi always says that you were the best at undercover work,” Rosa begged.

“Did you forget the part where that guy punched me?”

“So obviously I need to be prepared.” Widening her eyes, Rosa nodded convincingly.

“Fine,” Deeks allowed with a sigh. “I will teach you some techniques on the very small, and awful, chance something like this happens again.”

“And maybe how to throw knives.”

“Oh my god, I’ve created a monster.” Deeks shook his head. “You’ll have to take up the knives debate with Kensi. Who will undoubtedly have lots of questions about this.” He made a circle to encompass his face, which what started to throb.

“Oh yeah. She won’t be happy,” Rosa said with a grimace.

“Probably not,” Deeks agreed, reaching over to pat her folded hands. “Despite everything I just said, you did good today, kiddo.”

[softprettything]

late bloomer, ch 6

AO3 | Previous | Next

Fandom: OHSHC

Pairing: Kyoya/Reader

Tags: 18+, A/B/O Dynamics, College AU, Fake Dating, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slice of Life, Eventual Smut

Summary: Nobody ever said falling in love with your best friend would be easy.

Taglist (new!): @silverhetdanes​ @lampalooza​

late bloomer, ch 6

“Are you sure you don’t want to revisit the black dress?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? It’s a classic for a reason. You can wear the blue blazer for color?”

She shakes her head. “It’s a date, not a Model UN conference.”

Right.

You came home from your shift at the coffee shop to find Haruhi in her room, and her room looking so messy that it might as well be your room. That was an hour ago, and it’s only gotten worse since then. An hour of her turning down everything you suggest; trying on every possible combination of clothing she owns; trying on the few articles of your clothing that she wouldn’t drown in.

Your phone buzzes—your group chat with the twins.

Thing 1: y/n. come out.

Y/N: Im busy

Thing 1: busy doing what, sniffing h’s dirty laundry?

Thing 2: EW

Y/N: Youre absolutely vile

Thing 2: ignore him

Thing 2: but also…..come out

Thing 2: pregame in 5 @hikarus place

Y/N: Homework

Thing 1: booo.

Thing 2: its literally friday are u kidding

Thing 2: get your ass over here and lets go frat hopping

Y/N: Ew x a million

Y/N: You know i dont do frats and ALSO i have HOMEWORK.

“How about this?”

You lock your phone, toss it on the bed. Look up. “Oh.”

You recognize the long-forgotten camisole, simple ivory silk. Must have found that at the back of a drawer, though God only knows how it’s so wrinkle-free. She’s tucked it into the dark, slim-cut dress pants (the pants you’ve mended for her at least once a year through college—cheaper than buying new ones, after all), and adjusted it to be just the right amount of baggy. Really, it’s not that much different from what she usually wears. There’s no reason for you to feel as though your heart has made a play for your esophagus.

But then she turns back to look at you, and something about her eyes, something about the arc of her neck, something about her smile, her smile, her smile —faint and familiar and more vulnerable than any you’ve seen—something about it has you lost for words.

Though the smile quickly disappears when she sees your lack of reaction. After all, you aren’t usually the stoic one. “Oh good? Or…”

“Yeah. No, yeah, it’s perfect.” You cross to the dresser, doing your best to seem very interested in the slim selection of costume jewelry you two have amassed over the years.

“Really?”

Your eyes meet in the mirror. And it’s funny, because you and Haruhi have been friends for years and years. Nearly two decades, at this point. You’ve seen each other through every year of school, through every major life milestone, through first kisses and funerals and everything in between.

But here’s the thing: you can’t remember the last time you ever saw her looking anything close to insecure.

You look down at the little gold hoops you have in your palm. You walk over to her, and place them in her hand. “Really.”

She swallows, and nods. Outside, you hear the sound of a car door opening and shutting. Haruhi turns back to the mirror to start putting in the earrings. “That’s probably him. Could you—”

“Already on it.” You stop at the door. “You know he’d be an idiot not to be into you, right?”

There’s a short moment of quiet. “Thanks, (Y/N).”

*****************

After awkwardly greeting Tamaki at the door (her brought her a small bouquet and a single rose for you, which, you begrudgingly admitted to yourself, was very considerate), giving him a half-joking version of your typical “hurt her and you’ll be sleeping with the fishes” speech, and closing the door behind them (because you’d already forbidden yourself from torturing yourself by watching them walk to the car), you check your phone again.

Thing 2: here btw

Thing 2: its raining pls come get me

Thing 1: y/n.

Thing 1: are you still playing dress up with haruhi.

Thing 1: you ARE aren’t you.

Thing 2: y/n just say youre coming so hikaru can come unlock the door

Thing 1: you know the door code, dumbass.

Thing 2: oh yeah

Thing 2: k im in

Thing 1: y/n. pls come save me from this idiot.

They must have started drinking, because the next text was twenty minutes later—and significantly less comprehensible.

Thing 2: look if ur.not gonna pregame at leastt meet us out

Thing 2: hango n ill drop the addres

It’s not far from your apartment; just a seven minute walk. Which you could probably make in five.

No! No. You are not going out walking alone, in the middle of the night, only to ruin your only sneakers on some filthy, sticky frat room floor, come home too exhausted to even take off your makeup, and wake up tomorrow morning smelling like sweat and beer and other unmentionable fluids. That is the last thing you want or need.

Thing 2: u promised back in aaugust youd come out with us atl east onxe

Thing 2: onxe

Thing 2: ONCE

Thing 2: cmonnnn

That last text was five minutes ago. Surely they wouldn’t have left for another party that quickly?

Chewing on your lip, you type:

Y/N: Still there?

[icy-gendango]

O yeah that hurt for sure ahaha hang on ow

Please do go on :'D

Hhhhhhh OK but this is all I got 4 now.

This is like the intro to the setting and stuff so it's not very climactic.

It had started a few months ago, and you were handling it fine. Wonderfully, in fact. Your heart had been light, and you hadn't felt any unease in your situation. Why? Because even though you would never be brave enough to confess, you still felt fulfilled in the friendship you had. You thought that maybe, with time, you would be able to tell them and expel this growth in your lungs once and for all. You suppose now that you were a fool. A fool to think anything could possibly work for you in the end. When did it all start going so wrong?

…

Here you were, the daytime security guard for the daycare, sitting at your desk, watching your crush of half a year tenderly hold a new hire. You had come in early for your shift, a bag of goodies from the craft store in your hand, and a fresh cup of coffee in the other. You felt bubbly and light as you imagined the look on Sun's face digging through the paper bag. You loved to bring them things, just to see them and the way their smiles would light up, the excited crinkle in their eyes. It had taken you so long to get them to even accept a gift. It felt so rewarding to you to be able to get them their own things. You had slipped through the daycare doors and slinked over to the desk. You set the bag down gently and took a long sip of your coffee as you settled down in your chair. Looking up to view the room had you choking on your drink. It almost came spewing from your mouth, just managing to choke it down.

Up ahead and clear as day was Sun and that new hire. They were hired just this week to run pickups and drop-offs. Originally, that was a job you did, but with recent security threats, they allocated a new position for it so that your team could prioritize vigilance and safety. They were a distance away, but you could see the fluttering of their eyelashes and shy smile as Sun leaned down to hold them. An immediate pang throbbed your heart, and you could feel a familiar bile rising in your throat. You swallowed hard, setting your cup down against the desk.

Apparently, you did so with more strength than intended because the knock of plastic against the wooden desk had Sun flying back from the embrace, both of their heads swiveling to face you. Oh. Crap. You faked a cough into your fist, immediately regretting the actual pain you felt in your chest by doing so. You waved at the two. The new hire was quiet, looking at you with wide eyes. You could swear their face was more red than it's supposed to be but swallowed down the thought in exchange for greeting the two. "Hey, guys! Sorry for not knocking, haha…"

"Oh, Starshine! Gooood morning!" Sun recovered and returned the wave. He began to make his way over to you, "Sososo s-sorry I didn't hear you come in! We… we were just-" you cut him off, not wanting to get into whatever you witnessed, "It's okay! It's my fault for sneaking in here, anyway. You… wanna see what I brought?" You took another dip of coffee to force down the persistent rise of something acrid. These twisted feelings in your gut that you desperately tried to ignore. The hard constricting of your lungs, desperate to squeeze something out. Just ignore it.

"Oh, do I!?" Sun squealed, "OH! Please! Can I see? Pretty pretty pleeaaaase?" You giggled behind your fist. "You are just too cute, of course you can!" You lifted up the bag and slid it across the desk, soaking up the way he sqeaked in excitement and his rays began to spin.

Your focus was trained on him as he dug through the bag, pulling out sheets of stickers and other treats. Your smile grew when he found the collection of folding paper, each sheet had gilded edges with perfect patterns and smooth surfaces. Sun loved paper crafts, and he'd recently taken to origami. You couldn't help but be excited thinking about what he would make with the new paper. Your smile faltered in the slightest when you noticed the new hire creeping up beside him. They shyly looked around his arm to the bag. Sun's hand smoothed over the bundle of paper, and he began to show them to the new hire. You listened idly, mostly thrumming your fingers against the desk and getting your setup ready for the day. It was hard to ignore the nasty nagging in your head.

About halfway through the bag is when he stopped and handed it back to you. You smiled and set it aside. It was routine by now. You always brought the bag with Moon's items on the bottom and Sun's on top. The rest of the bag was to be explored at naptime.

[violets-in-her-arms-writes]

Happy Worldbuilding Wednesday!

Tell me about the culture in your world in regards to death and the afterlife.

i.e. what are the most common beliefs about it, is there fear surrounding death or something else, are there any gods of death and how to people in your world feel about them, is there an afterlife that people believe in and how does it work, what rituals and practices are there in regards to the dead (burials, mummification, burying them with important objects, burning the body, etc), and anything else you would like to share

<333

Thank you so much for this !!! ♥♥

It took me forever to answer because I actually had to think about this one, but here I am 😅 I went into details for two species instead of the 5 (vampires, Faes, mermaids, werewolves & witches) I had in mind, because I need to think more about the others, but I hope you'll like it anyway ^^

So... The thing about La Fledgling is that it's a story about endings. Lou is immortal, Jo is not. Lou (and most of their friends) will live forever or something close to forever, Jo will die. She has limited time and so much to do, which means that, concrètement, she hasn't really thought about what comes after.

(Which means that I, the author, hadn't thought about it either, but let's blame it on the character, shall we? 💀)

So... Death...

For the vampires:

Vampires can die (insert *people die if they are killed* meme here), as vampires tend to do in other fantasy stories. So decapitation, silver, symbols of faith (and real faith, just waving a symbol won't work - you have to believe), fire, sunlight, stake through the heart... the classics will work, but if you really want to be original and take them by surprise, you could also poison them through the blood servants they feed from. I'm just throwing this out there, no reason.

Several vampire families were killed during the hunter/vampire wars, entire Coven burnt to the ground, knowledge evaporated, entire lignées brought to the brink of extinction. Needless to say, it terrified the vampires who then decided to retire from the public eye and live secular lives among themselves, where they don't have to interact with humans (much. Feeding is another story entirely).

They feared death during these few centuries when it came knocking at their doors, but during the novel, none of the vampires think about death as something that concerns them. Death is something humans and semi-mortal creatures go through, and something that happened to them a thousand years ago.

There is no afterlife for vampires, because they are not supposed to die.

(The rest of the species and their view on death can be found under the cut 🦇)

For the Fae:

Fae live until they get tired of living, at which point they can choose between several options :

become a tree -> really popular, as long as it's not in the moral realm because on Earth you tree might be cut down and you will spend the rest of eternity as a very ugly couch or coffee table

spend a few years as an animal and live as a cryptid in either the fae realm or on Earth (I'm not saying le Dahu is a Fae but... yeah that's exactly what I'm saying) -> marginally less popular and often time not the definitive choice. Old Faes who don't know if they really want to "fade away" or not will spend a few decades or centuries as an owl, a cat or some kind of made up animal/creature, and when their time is up, they'll seen if they want to go for option 1 (*be the seed*), option 2 (go back to their ancient life and keep on living until they get bored again) or option 3 (below)

reincarnate -> the least popular choice by far (Iris Adam, who chose to get reincarnated 250 times is an outlier and shouldn't have been counted), because the fates like to mess with faes and there is no guarantee a Fae will be reincarnated as a Fae in her next life. She could be human. Or a cockroach. Or the southern wind. Or she could be a Fae but come back wrong. Really, there's nothing sure about this option.

Fae who chose to become trees all planted their roots in the same forest and they can be heard, from time to time, giving unsolicited advices to the younglings having fun beneath their branches.

For the witches:

They mostly have the same approach as the humans, except they live up to 500 years instead of 80, which mean they start worrying about it a lot later. They still are the weakest (physically speaking) of all the magical and semi-mortal species, which means they are much more prone to accident and very few actually reach past their second or third century.

For the mermaids:

They also live very long lives and have the advantage of being away from humans most of the time, so when wars or conflict start again on the surface, they can just... swim away and wait for the storm to pass. The older a mermaid gets, the bigger she is, and the more she has to eat. There are only three really old (we're talking several thousand years old) mermaids because they feed on weaker mermaids - or, more precisely, younger, weaker or otherwise hurt mermaids are send bound and pre-broken to the deep caves in which the dwell and the three leviathan feast of the flesh of the unwilling.

Death is either a sacrifice (eaten by a leviathan) or a victory (not eaten by the leviathans bc they 1) died in combat so they at least were not eaten alive or 2) ran away on land to escape their fate which brings its own problems)

For the werewolves:

Mix between the witches and the mermaids. They die of old age (live longer than humans, less prone to disease or accident than witches) or in a fight and then they get eaten by the rest of the pack so that their spirits and knowledge can stay with the pack. Yay.

For Jo (sole human in this crazy friend group):

She doesn't think about it. She'll die when she'll die. She used to be really religious, but her faith was shattered when her whole family was murdered and Lou became a bloodsucker, so she doesn't really believe in an afterlife (be it hell or heaven). But should she be proven wrong, she's ready to throw hands with whomever is here to welcome her.

[pintsizemama]

Christmas Blues

Day 12

Summary: Maggie is feeling depressed as the holiday looms.

Pairings: Maxwell Lord x You, Maxwell Lord x Named Reader (Maggie Stark)

Fandom: Marvel & DC

Rating: Mature

Warnings: language, depression, heartbreak, talk of parental death

Word Count: 1,121

A/N: This takes place after Maggie’s breakup with Bucky but before she gets with Maxwell.

Little Stark Masterlist

Day 11 Day 13 Christmas Masterlist Main Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

“What’s gotten into you?” Nat asked you. You were sitting at the communal dining table nursing yet another cup of coffee.

“What?” You asked groggily. You had barely slept this week. The nightmares were ramping up, and you didn’t have the energy to deal with the panic attacks that accompanied them. So you stayed up and worked in the lab all hours of the day and night.

“You’re much moodier than normal,” Nat said. Your brow furrowed in confusion. You couldn’t recall acting moody with anyone recently.

“Not moody,” Wanda cut in. “She’s not moody.” She chewed her lip as she thought it over. “Blue. You’ve been blue lately.” Nat snapped her fingers.

“Yes!” She agreed. “You’re definitely down, girl. What’s going on?”

“I’m just tired,” you answered simply.

“No,” Nat disagreed. “You’re always tired. This is different. You’re depressed.”

“Probably,” you shrugged. Honestly, you didn’t have the strength to care what you were feeling at the moment.

“Probably?” Nat questioned.

“Of course she’s fucking depressed,” Wanda said in exasperation. “After the shit year she’s had, who wouldn’t be depressed?”

“Thanks, Wanda,” you said dispassionately.

“Christmas always kinda sucks anyway,” you told them. They looked confused. “My parents died right before Christmas.” Their eyes widened as they remembered.

“And they were killed by the asshole who broke your heart a few months ago,” Nat mumbled.

“Yeah,” you shrugged. You didn’t blame Bucky for what happened to your parents. You never did. That had been a huge issue when Tony found out you were dating Bucky. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Wanda asked, her eyes full of worry.

“No,” you replied. “I appreciate it, but I’m fine. Really.” They looked like they did not believe you, and you sighed heavily. “What time are you guys heading out?” Nat looked at her watch.

“Shit, we gotta leave,” she said. All of the available Avengers were leaving today for a reconnaissance mission. They’d be gone a couple weeks…which meant you were alone for Christmas this year.

“Good luck,” you told your best friends. Wanda looked at you with deep sadness in her eyes.

“I hate that we’re leaving you here…especially with how you’re feeling, and it’s Christmas,” she said.

“I’ll be fine,” you half-heartedly assured her. “I have plenty of work in the lab to keep me busy. I need to get the prototype completed for Lord Industries, so I can get that asshole off my back.” You grimaced as your thoughts turned to Maxwell Lord—the bane of your existence.

“Don’t work too hard, Maggie,” Nat scolded gently.

“And you guys stay safe,” you returned. After they left you dumped the remainder of your now cold coffee. You debated whether or not to go to the hangar to see them all off. You wanted to, but the thought of seeing Bucky right now was too much. It had been months since he broke things off, and you had started doing better. You had done an amazing job of shoving all those feelings down, but the last couple weeks had been really hard. It was like the pain was brand new and once again at the surface. You decided you were going to see them off because Tony would be upset if he didn’t get to hug you before they left.

You checked the time and hurried to the hangar. They were leaving soon, and you didn’t want to miss them. Once you reached the hangar you immediately saw them all suited up and getting ready to go. Your breath caught in your throat when you saw Bucky. He always looked so sexy in his gear. You moved forward to say goodbye to your brother when you noticed a very unwelcome figure standing next to Tony. Maxwell Lord.

“Mags!” Tony shouted in joy. “I thought you were gonna let me leave without a goodbye!”

“Never,” you said with a strained smile.

“Miss Stark, always a pleasure,” Maxwell said with a polite smile.

“Lord,” you acknowledged him curtly.

“You gonna be ok here by yourself for Christmas?” Tony asked.

“Yep,” you said.

“I worry about you, kid.”

“I’ll be fine,” you assured him.

“Alone for Christmas?” Maxwell questioned. “We can’t have that. No one should be alone for Christmas. You’ll come to my place for the holiday.”

“I’m good,” you said quickly. The last place you wanted to be was anywhere near Maxwell Lord.

“I insist,” he continued. “I’ll send my helicopter to pick you up Christmas Eve.”

“That’s really not necess—”

“—Great!” Tony cut in. “Thanks for looking out for my sister, Max. I hate leaving her here. Christmas has always been a hard time of the year for us. You know, thanks to Tin Man over there murdering our parents.” Bucky’s pain filled eyes found yours. You quickly looked away. “Anyway, I’m glad my favorite girl will have someone to keep her company while we’re gone.” He paused and looked Max up and down. “Do me a favor, Lord, and keep your hands—and dick—away from my little sister.”

“Jesus, Tony,” you groaned.

“I’m just saying,” Tony said, “you’re smart, funny, gorgeous, and Max has quite a reputation with the ladies. Oh, and don’t think I haven’t noticed him checking you out.”

“Yeah, you got nothing to worry about on that front,” you scoffed. “I’m not sleeping with Maxwell Lord. Ever.”

“Good,” Tony said with a grin. “Now give me a hug.” You stepped into his embrace and closed your eyes as you squeezed him tight. You sunk into the warmth and feeling of home. He placed a kiss on the top of your head before stepping back.

“Merry Christmas,” he said. “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Is there anything you wouldn’t do?” You asked.

“Square dancing,” Tony replied immediately. You could not help but smile.

“Come back safe,” you practically demanded.

“Promise,” Tony replied. “Love you, kiddo.”

“Love you too.” You watched as they filed into the plane. Bucky paused just before boarding to meet your eyes once more. Your memories flashed to the goodbyes you used to share before missions. Desperate hugs and fevered kisses before take off and long sweaty passionate nights before. You shook the memories away as he smiled sadly and boarded.

The plane pulled out of the hangar and onto the runway. You felt Maxwell walk up next to you.

“Oh, don’t forget to pack a bag,” he said.

“What?”

“For Christmas Eve,” he replied. “You’ll stay the night at my penthouse so you’re not alone Christmas morning.”

“Like hell I will,” you scoffed.

“We’ll see,” Max said with a smile. You shook your head, but deep down you knew he’d get his way. Maxwell Lord always did.

Day 13

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[eponastory]

Blankets

Devil May Cry Short with Dante and his daughter Evan shortly after Tell My Heart To Beat.

It had come to Dante's attention that his daughter was... missing. Well, maybe not missing, but hidden in plain sight.

It had been a week since he had found her in the forest. Her small frame was so malnourished that he was afraid she would never recover her own body heat. The moment Evan had been cleaned up and given some fresh clothes, Lady had told him about what she had seen.

Evan's bones.

More so, the way her bones could be seen under her skin. And then he saw what Lady described. It angered him, but at the same time hurt him more than he could ever imagine. Hearing the girl constantly claim she was cold only added to that instinct to warm her up as much as he could. Even when she was surrounded by heaters.

But there she was, a week later, curled up on the couch in the shop with at least ten blankets and an electric blanket to keep her warm. This latent hypothermia that Evan had been experiencing was all in the mind and possibly had to do with her malnourished form. Whatever the truth was, she was craving all the heat in the world.

He understood. If he had a season he disliked, it was winter. Not that the cold bothered him. Dante preferred the heat like any warm-blooded creature. So what was he to do for Evan, who was clearly suffering from a psychological issue.

"Hey kid, you okay in there?" He had moved over to the cocoon on the couch and put a hand on the top layer of blankets.

"Mkay." The young girls muffled reply came from the small hole in the middle of the pile. "Juss really cold."

"I know." Dante sighed before sitting on the couch next to her and putting his feet up on the coffee table. "I guess I'm gonna have to get another heater if this keeps up." He could see movement coming from the pile as she dug her way out of the blankets. Her head popped out with the worst case of bed head he had ever seen. "There you are. I almost forgot what you looked like."

"I look like you." She told him with a frown before pulling the blankets around her tighter.

"Yeah, but more girly and tiny." He held his thumb and forefinger close together to emphasize his point. He was becoming more relaxed around her. He put his hand on top of her head, feeling for any sign of shaking. There was none. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really." Evan had gained a little weight in the last few days, but not enough to satisfy Dante. She was still so frail in his eyes. He supposed it was because he had to actually be a parent now. Not when he had spent eleven years wondering if she would ever want anything to do with him later. "I used to like snow." She put her chin on her knees.

"I never cared for it myself." He leaned back and put his hands behind his head. Looking at the ceiling, he recalled the winters he spent with his brother. Then winter was never any fun after Eva had been killed. "When I was a kid, I did. But when you grow up quickly, all the magic dies."

"I don't believe in magic anymore either." Poor kid. The innocence had been ripped from her a long time ago, but now what was left had been brutally gutted. Dante knew he had his work cut out for him. This child sitting in blankets next to him was a far cry from what he had pictured all the years.

It hurt.

How was he going to get Evan to show him who she really was? Especially with all she had gone through. What was worse is that he still had some work to do on himself, and he had nowhere to begin. This was the hard part.

He looked at Evan, trying to figure out where to go from there. What could he do to give her some sort of stability and hope? There was not much he could think of other than to sit there with her. Maybe that was all she needed. At the same time, he needed this, too. A connection that had been forming slowly over the last week.

"I've got an idea." It was not a brilliant idea, just a normal one that could make things a bit better between the two of them. "I'll be right back." Evan did not even look up when he got up off the couch to run up the stairs.

If she were to be honest, her opinions of her father had changed a little since he brought her into his home. She felt out of place and like a stranger. Of course, Lady had said things were going to take time. Not everything happened all at once.

The thing Evan had learned about Dante was that he was genuine. Everything he said or did was done with honesty. He never promised more than he could give, not even in the first couple of days. Even when the cold still stuck to her bones, he did everything he could to warm her up. It was more than she could ask for, and she was thankful for it. However, Evan also felt awkward. She could also see how uneasy he was, too. Not that it mattered.

At least she had her father now.

It was more than she could ever ask for now. Especially since her grandparents never bothered to find her. She may as well have no one then.

Dante could never know how much she was thankful. Maybe she could tell him one day, but the truth was there was no need to. The concept of loving someone she never met had been hard to reach and so close at the same time she felt lost. She cried herself to sleep most nights for someone she could never picture in her mind but also love so much. Now that there was a face and a name, she felt a little more complete. A little less lost.

She looked up when she saw her fathe coming down the stairs with a television in his arms. It was one of those with the built-in VCR/DVD players that had been out for a while now. He had a small smile on his face when he put it down on the table in front of her.

"I'll call Lady and see if she has some movies we can watch together." Evan looked up at him. Her tired eyes seemed to perk up at the prospect of some sort of entertainment. This was the first time he actually saw a little light in Evan. This was definitely a start. "Maybe some popcorn and pizza?"

"I'm really not hungry." Well, the pizza was mostly for him. The real plan was to get her to at least eat something at some point during the movie. But this was a good direction. It was better than her wrapping herself up and hiding from the world most of the time. All he did to respond to her was nod.

It was not long before Lady came over with a stack of movies Dante and Evan could watch through to her hearts content. The huntress made sure to give Evan a small hug, and then she left Dante to handle the rest. She seemed pleased with the progress that Dante was making with his daughter, at least.

Then the pizza came.

This was when Dante had Evan choose something to watch. The choice was simple. 'The Last Unicorn' had come out a really long time ago. He was a kid when it came out, but he never saw it as movies were not a huge thing in Sparda's household.

As he sat there with Evan, she had slowly moved to sit closer to him. At some point, Evan ended up falling asleep tucked under Dante's protective arm and with a bowl of popcorn in her lap. She was still wrapped up in blankets, but this was definitely better than what she had been doing.

It definitely put a whole knew meaning to what he did in his life. That lost connection of flesh and blood had been restored in the form of a tiny little girl who did not like winter anymore. At least she there was hope for her after all.

At least she was warm now.

Surprise!

I thought I'd give yall something since I've been in Kansas.