#yeah I have many thoughts and feelings about the whole thing even after a decade LOL

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Why such a strict no spoiler policy btw? It's not like it's gonna change whether or not people know the song and/or like it? Not complaining just curious for your reasoning

Because the point of this poll blog is to listen to the music with an open mind and no prejudice against the artist/song/genre/language/decade it's from etc, and just press like or dislike based on the song clip itself after actually have given it a listen. :) That's why the clip is so short, because if it appeals to you you'll be wanting to listen to the whole thing, if not, then at least you heard some of it and move on.

Also for people to have some whimsy in their lives. Poll #600 seems to have been a delightful surprise for many who didn't know what they pressed play for :D 💖

See it as me presenting you with a little gift, maybe not wrapped up in the prettiest way but you still get to unwrap it and discover the surprise by yourself. 🎁 Everybody likes unwrapping gifts :D

There are so many great music poll blogs out there on tumblr that lets you know straight away what it is. This one was created specifically just about listening to unnamed songs. Because the other option would be to just post a youtube vid/spotify link but it wouldn't appeal to me to make a poll blog just like that. Reading peoples thoughts and opinions about the song whether they know it or not is what makes this even more fun to keep up with. :) (even when the opinions from some of you are WRONG! 🤣 lol j/k)

Spoiling the songs here in reblogs takes away the curiosity/surprise/whimsy people might have about an unmarked little clip (and they might already have negative or positive feels about the song so why not just a youtube vid right away)

And lastly I get so sad to see spoilers because of all the time spent to actually do these polls. This blog does take a lot of time to keep up with, more than some of you might think. And just with making the polls themselves, getting the audio if i don't already have it, listen through the songs I might dislike to get a good clip, try to post it as audio, get frustrated when tumblr won't let me, turn it into a video, upload the video.....and then see people name it straight away is just... 😐 so, yeah. i see people bitching about me bitching about spoilers, but if passing on a little whimsy gift to others isn't your thing, there are other music blogs. :) 💖

[a-x-ce]

Worst part of the end of Enies Lobby is Zoro's bullshit pride take on what Usopp and Luffy's fight was about. I need to go and look at the translation used in the manga but in the anime they have him say ''we also can't keep trusting a guy who started all of this on a whim'' like bitch WHAT?!

The fuck did he witness throughout Water 7 that would make him say something so dismissive of the heart of what that fight was about? 'Whim' completely trivializes everything that happened, every single word Usopp said, it dismisses Merry and everything she did. It pisses me off so much.

Also makes me mad how rude he was to everyone else, especially Nami, during that whole scene. Telling her to shut up as if her opinion doesn't matter when truly her opinion should matter the most, like aside from Luffy being the captain, she's the real reason they can sail the sea at all!

Usopp's the whole reason Merry could save them at all (aside from Iceburg patching her up during Aqua Laguna) getting off Enies Lobby, AND he was the person who motivated Luffy to get up and finish Lucci off. 'Cause up until that point Luffy's heart was still broken from losing him in the first place, like Luffy knew his crew wasn't complete without Usopp and he regretted not being able to keep him from leaving.

Why Zoro felt the need to talk over Luffy and decide things for him, a direct display of disrespecting the captain he's holding against Usopp, while Luffy just goes along with it versus make a decision himself. Luffy SHOULD have gone to talk to him, BOTH of them should have had a deeper, more meaningful conversation about the fight, Usopp got to say goodbye to Merry in a way that satisfied him AND Luffy at that point, all they needed was an apology. And Usopp was not the only one who needed to give one, Luffy handled that abysmally from the start, it could have been settled way better than Zoro's method of needing Usopp to grovel and beg while letting Luffy get away with not giving a fuck about how he handled everything to begin with.

I mean thankfully Luffy learned from that experience, as we see when Sanji left during Whole Cake Island, but it came after having completely ignored Usopp's core issues, never addressing them directly, hence why he then goes into Thriller Bark not any different except now he's OPENLY bragging about being negative and self-loathing. Like very cool, very well handled guys...

It's almost like Oda couldn't have that happen then because Usopp still needed to have his core issues (recognizing he IS brave, he IS strong, he IS smart and useful and needed!!!) and that the best place to do that wasn't until Elbaf. Like he left his character on pause for hundreds of chapters and many MANY years and it's only in the next few that we might get the full payoff as we finally enter the Elbaf arc. (Which is interestingly also turning into a Robin-centric arc so Oda does seem to be cooking with that one already.)

Anyway, had to vent about that again, 'cause it's the only time I ever got mad at any of the crew and it was never addressed again. As soon as Usopp does say sorry he's accepted right away and they all go back to acting like nothing ever happened (which is how Luffy was operating anyway the moment he woke up back at Water 7...). Zoro's prideful way of doing shit is often not the best way to handle things and thankfully that's been pointed out before (Punk Hazard by Tashigi) but I genuinely wonder if Oda has any plans to tackle that as a character flaw in any later arcs.

[eddis-not-eeddis]

.

[legandairy-horror]

Does anyone else feel a strange sort of dread waiting for new deltarune chapters?

It sounds crazy right? I admit it's a weird feeling for sure, and I'm not even 100% sure if dread is the right way to describe it. But as more info is revealed and the next chapter inevitably gets closer and closer to releasing I can't help but feel a strange sort of, melancholy? Longing? The only way I can describe it is "when you know the goodbye is coming". The strange somber feeling when you know you’re going to have to leave stuff behind, but aren't quite ready for it yet.

warning: words. Homestuck

In 3 months Chapter 1 will be 6 years old, and in 2 months Chapter 2 will be 3 years old. Deltarune is ostensibly in Early Access but this release schedule puts new chapters closer in time scale to whole sequals if anything, which they most assuredly are not trying to be. This has created a strange situation in the fanbase that I don't think I've ever truly seen anywhere else. One where, In the time between chapters It feels like everyone has had their own chance to decide what Deltarune is to them. To create their own version of this story, to write their own themes that they want to see explored, to imagine their own events and plot twists they want to see play out.

@lynxgriffin Paper Trail Comic Being an Alternate Story following off of chapter 1

@lilybug-02 The Chara Timeline Being one of many interpretations on the popular Asriel & Chara roommates headcannon.

@huecycles Andromeda Chapters being their interpretation on the full game

The innumerable Deltarune Theorists and analysts like HalfBreadChaos, Andrew Cunningham, Stuffed Alpaca, etc. etc.

@vyletbunni Deltatraveler being a whole ass fangame based around a chapter 2 meme that it has long since outlived

And that's kinda the thing isn't it? Once more deltarune comes out, a ton of these projects will just become outdated, it's an inevitability. So what will happen to them? will they become forgotten? maybe, maybe not, it's impossible to tell. but either way it feels kinda sad to think about yknow? that one day all the time and effort spent and all the memories made might one day just cease to exist.

There's a lot more I could say on this topic if given the chance but to keep this tumblr post from morphing into a 2 hour long video essay in text form let me leave off with this.

In the age of the internet and social media there will always be a fan of something. Nothing truly dies quite like it used to anymore, regardless of whatever influencers want you to believe. But that doesn't mean things stop changing, that there wasn't a past that has since been left behind. I'm a Homestuck fan. more specifically I'm a Late Homestuck fan, one who came in after the comic had already ended and it's peak in popularity was long behind it. The fandom's still around all these years later. But it'd be foolish to admit that, 8 years after the comics controversial end, the inescapable trend of new fans replacing old fans has left the fandom wholly disconnected from the monolith that it once was. the only remnants of which lie in decades old discourse and fanfiction. Like old relics of a long forgotten city, waiting to be excavated under a fine layer of dirt.

Before I close out here I just want to make it clear: I'm not saying that we should be trying to return to some nebulous "glorious past" that never really existed. I'm not trying to deride Toby Fox for not working in the sweatshop hard enough to produce more content™, or whatever you wanna try and spin-doctor this post into. It's just a thought that creeps into my head every now that I wanted to share, see if anyone feels the same, yknow?

Besides it's not all doom and gloom. For those of you OG Homestucks who read till the end. You remember Heinoustuck? Guidestuck? Nightfall? Fucking Ke$haStuck? yeah those are still going by the way! after years of inactivity they've now started back up again. some under new authors and some by the same author but still!

You could say a lot about that but to me at least, it makes me feels hopeful in a way. That, even if not everything will survive. we'll at least have some mementos to remember what came before.

[reginaphalangelobster125]

Warm

Logan x X-Men!Reader

Summary: You and Logan get back from a tough mission and things take a turn.

Warnings: swearing, description of blood and stabbing, no smut hot making out, sarcasm, teasing jokes, no use of Y/n

Word Count: 1.7k

You and Logan practically dragged yourselves through the door. You had just gotten back from an overly complicated mission. It was meant to be an in and out situation but not much goes as it's meant to when you're X-Men. You both dropped your bags at the door and looked up the stairs. After the day you'd have neither of you could even contemplate climbing that many stairs so you headed for the lounge room. Logan flopped on the couch and dragged you down with him. You were pretty close friends but this was different. You didn't know what exactly was happening.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?" He said, very gruffly.

"What um, Whatcha doing?"

"Sleepin', you?"

"Same"

You decided to just settle into the situation as you were too tired to protest. You stayed like that for a few hours, just lying together, close. You felt his firm, warm body under yours and that lulled you into a soft, comfortable slumber. You both fell asleep pretty quickly but you were woken up by a strange sensation in your abdomen. You weren't sure what it was for a moment, it felt cold and smooth until it was suddenly warmer, much warmer. You only realised what it was when Logan's scream jolted you back to reality. You realised that hit claws were deep inside you, the cold feeling of the adamantium and the warm feeling of blood, lots of your blood, pooling between the two of you.

"Lo-Logan?" You whispered shakily.

He looked down to see his first covered in blood and his claws, protruding from your back. His whole world shattered for just a moment. He was sure his heart was about to beat straight out of his chest. He could feel the hot trickle of your blood going from his hand, down onto his chest, soaking his shirt. He looked into your eyes and saw tears pricking at the sides, your beautiful eyes were like this because of him. He saw the blood gargling up your throat and he saw it start to dribble out of your mouth. His own eyes were glassy and all he could see were flashes of red, blurring across his vision. He stammered, trying to say something, at this point anything, but he couldn't he just sat there in shock with his claws all the way through you. He watched as your eyes began to glaze over and your head lowered. The grip you had on his other hand was limp. You were dead. You were dead and he killed you.

He had killed so many people before but this was different, this was you. He started to cry, something he hadn't done in decades. Your body was hanging, limp, on his claws and he cried. He cried over you and that made your lips turn up in a small smile. You raised your head and looked at him. It wasn't enjoyable seeing him like this, it was awful, but you took some comfort in the fact that when you died he was sad, when you died he cared. You raised a hand to cup his cheek and he almost jumped off the couch. He was shocked that you were alive, you weren't, you just died, in his arms. But somehow you were alive and he was overjoyed.

"H-w-hu-How?!"

"I'm immortal you idiot"

"WHAT?!"

"Oh honey, I thought you knew"

"I FUCKING DID NOT!"

You smiled more and let out a small laugh.

"Oh, so this is fucking funny to you?!"

You laughed harder "Y-Yes!"

He began to laugh a little too, maybe because he was a bit hysterical but who's to say.

"You mind, you know, snickt?"

"Did you just say snickt?"

"Yeah, the claws?"

"Oh, I got it. But snickt?"

"Can we maybe have this conversation when they're not through me?"

"Oh, yeah, sure"

He retracted his claws with a 'snickt' sound. You fell onto him and he wrapped his arms around you.

"Thanks"

"Thanks? I just stabbed you"

"Yeah, I know. I was there"

"Well why thanks?"

"You cried"

"I did not"

"Yes you did"

"Nope"

"I was here Logan. You thought I was dead and you cried, you cried because you love me" You teased in a sing-song way.

"I don't love you"

"Oh! Harsh!"

"You know what I mean"

"Yeah, yeah, denial"

"What?"

"Nothing, so, snickt"

"They don't go snickt"

"They do!"

"They're my claws, I think I know what sound they make"

"Then what sound do they make?"

"Sort of a sni-snu-sh, I don't have to explain my claws to you"

"It's snickt, isn't it?"

"Shut up"

"Yeah, nah. I'd rather not"

"Well when do you ever?"

"Apparently when you stab me?"

He looks at you with a very strange pointed glare.

"What, too soon?"

"Yeah, kinda"

You smile again and put your hands on his chest in an attempt to get up but his grip on you waist tightens.

"Where you going?"

"I thought I'd get another shirt, I think it'll take a little more than club soda to get this out"

He lets you go with a small grumble and you sit up, just staying seated on the couch for a moment.

"What, don't wanna go now?"

"No, just, need a minute" you winced "my organs kind of have to, rearrange themselves, stitch themselves back together, y'know?"

He just looked at you for a moment with a hurt look in his eyes.

"I think you went straight through my spleen, it would explain the bleeding" You said as you placed a hand on your side.

Now that the jokes and sarcasm had stopped he remembered that he really did just stab you and he hated himself. Your gaze turned from your former wound and now just scratch, to Logan. You saw how much it tortured him and you placed an arm around him.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, I've had worse"

"s not that" He barely mumbled.

"Is it because we're close?"

He grumbled softly in the place of a yes.

"Then really don't worry about it"

He looked up at you and raised an eyebrow, questioning you.

"I've known Charles for a long time, like a walking kind of long time and we've had, incidents"

"Incidents?"

"He tried to melt my mind or some shit"

"He what?"

"I don't remember what he called it but it hurt a hell of a lot more than a little stabbing"

"Well I wouldn't say it was little"

"Ugh, men and size"

Logan laughed lightly.

"And it's not just him. Beast mauled me, Erik sent metal bars all through my body-"

"Ooh, he did that to me too"

"Nice, now we can start a club"

"That'd be really fun"

"Hmm, sarcasm is getting kinda obvious now"

"It's late, bite me"

"Ooh! I've been bitten a lot"

"Yeah?"

"Yep, sharks, tigers, lions, wolves, you know I got bitten by a badger once?"

"A badger? That's kinda pathetic?"

"Oh excuse me badger man"

"What?"

"Wait, do you even know what a wolverine is?"

"Scary, lots of teeth, sharp claws"

"Yeah, but it's also basically just a cross between a badger and a ferret"

"Fuck off"

"I'm serious!" You said, although the laughter didn't help your point.

"You're lying"

"Nope! It's really tiny too"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is! Now I have to start calling you Tiny Ferret-Badger"

"If you do I'll stab you, again"

"Aww! Is the tiny ferret-badger trying to be scary?"

"Stop it"

"You're so cute!"

"Stop it, now"

"Who's my little ferret-badger? You are! Yes you are!"

Logan grabbed your arms and pushed you onto your back, positioning himself above you.

"Wanna apologise?"

"I'd rather see where this goes"

You both moved your faces towards each other, agonisingly slow. Your breath quickened as you felt his fanning across your face. Your eyes locked and suddenly you were the only two people in the world. Your lips lightly brushed together, the small tough igniting a fire in the pit of your stomach. A fire that raged harder the more you felt his warm touch. His hand moved up and cupped your cheek while cradling the back of your head. One of your hands flew to his shoulder, squeezing it tightly as the kiss intensified. Your lips moved together in such synchronicity that you thought you must have been made for each other. It soon became a clash of teeth and tongues as your hand moved to his hair. Grabbing at the little ear shapes and pulling them just the right way, the way that had him letting out a low growl that travelled right through you. You let out a soft moan as his hand slid up your torso and under your shirt. He ripped the already torn material off your body and threw it to the side. You started to unbutton his shirt and pull it down his shoulders. You writhed against each other, lips clashing as you gasped for air. You moaned his name and he moaned yours. You were completely caught in each other's warm embrace.

"I don't mean to interrupt but this is public area in a school"

Both of your heads shot up and turned, you hadn't even heard the professor enter the room but there he was.

"Sorry, Charles"

"I understand, just please keep this restricted to your rooms, I don't want the children to be further traumatised"

"Okay, traumatised is a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?"

"If I remember correctly, no"

"Fair enough"

You grabbed Logan's hand and led him upstairs.

"Goodnight"

"Night!"

"Goodnight, professor"

You disappeared down the hallway and to your room.

"What was that about him remembering correctly?"

"I told you, I knew Charles a long time ago"

"Wh-You and-and him?"

"Don't act so surprised, you saw them"

"Them?"

"He and Erik were quite handsome in their day"

"Erik?!"

"Don't be jealous, we'll have our fun"

"Charles and Erik?!"

"You heard me"

"Next thing you'll tell me you fucked Mystique"

"Well....."

"Really?"

"Hey, she can look like anyone. Although, the blue is pretty hot too, works for Kurt"

"Oh my God!"

"Oh please, don't act like you don't get passed around the mansion like a blunt"

"I-Uh, shut up"

"Gladly"

You push him back onto your bed and trail kisses down his chest, leading to a very long night.

Tags:

@thegirlsmorgue @1dluver13xx @beeeoop @waffle-wolf-666 @clownp33 @california-boys-and-sun @starsaroundmyscarsblog @kds1999 @everyonesfriend @lord-starscream @pinkthick @craftytacopiecash @meryuniverse @karaishotgirl @aliljaybird @burningcatcollectorsblog-blog @summer200baby @hanahaki-garden @dr3adful-lust

[schrodinger-swriter]

I really liked your interpretations of Lucifer being apprehensive when getting romantically involved with a sinner. I think a lot of other people kind of forget (not to say I dislike their writing) that he is just barely starting to come out of this bias after Charlie has shown him that not only can the exorcists be fought but also people can change.

With these things considered, how do you think Lucifer would react to a sinner who was sent to hell for complicated reasons? As in, they are a good person who did horrible things out of necessity. Like maybe they killed someone or committed other crimes to keep their loved ones safe, and they'd do it all over again and go straight to hell if it meant their loves ones got into heaven.

Lucifer x Reader who did something terrible for a good cause

Now that's a long title!

But yeah I agree with you, I wish more people explored that Lucifer would be hesitant to have a relationship, much less with a sinner. Though to be fair I hardly read Lucifer x Reader content, I understand the appeal but my heart lies with Sir Pentious aha!

I hope you enjoy, Anon! C:

Regardless of how he ends up finding out about what you've done, you can see the gears working in his head before his eyes eventually soften. It's a moment of understanding; a moment where he can relate with you. He did something with good intentions but with horrible consequences.

Imagine you both get into an argument and that's when your past is revealed. Even after Charlie and him reconcile, he still has the mindset of judging sinners. Of course he would, it doesn't go away over night. It's a stance he's been holding for years, maybe even decades.

He begins to speak badly of sinners as a whole, which in turn upsets you. Oh but of course, you weren't part of the group he was talking about! Except that doesn't change anything, it leads to a heated argument... and then you spill. The air is still tense, and your hearts are still raw.

Going forward it does change how he looks at you, and how he acts around you. He seems.. different. Around you at least. I don't think he would pry for any of the details, you've already said all you need to do to.

He thinks its commendable. Actually in his eyes it makes you more attractive, you did what you thought was right. It only serves to make him feel even worse for pushing you away like that... Dozens of apologies will be coming your way, as well as many gifts.

[tgmsunmontue]

Wild fields of forget-me-nots - 2/? WIP

During the training for the mission Jake has an accident which results in him losing 10 years of memories.

A lot has happened in ten years. Bradley broke up with him. DADT was repealed. He got and air-to-air kill and a new callsign. And he doesn't remember any of it.

PART ONE

PART TWO – 2017 cont.

                Bradley feels on edge. Having Jake nearby always does that, tends to bring out the worst in him now when it used to bring out the best. But not knowing if he’s okay makes him feel ten times worse. Coupled with the tension from dealing with Maverick he’s ready to either knock his head against a wall or drink himself into unconsciousness. He won’t do either of course, but he can still think about it. Also the certainty now that he’s going to be flying the mission with Jake completely out of the running. Fuck. He didn't want things to be this way.

                His phone vibrates, it’s after midnight, gone into sleep mode but the recognizable face of Coyote pops up, photo well over a decade old now. He answers it. There’s no other option. Coyote would never call him unless he really had to. They’re not friends. Not anymore.

                “Hello.”

                “You need to come the hospital.”

                His stomach plummets like it’s in freefall, bile rising in his throat in response like a pendulum swinging around and his hand holding his phone is shaking.

                “What? Why? Is Jake…”

                Alive?

                Asking for me?

                Okay?

                “He’s alive. You just… get your ass up here Bradshaw.”

                Bradley nods, mumbles that he’s on his way, because Coyote can’t see him and he knows he lost this particular friendship when he and Jake broke up.

                It’s fine.

                He throws a shirt on over his tank, slips his feet into shoes, glad it doesn’t take more than that. Drives on autopilot and lets his mind race through all of the different cases of why he needs to get to the hospital. The roads are empty, and the guard on base recognizes him and his Bronco, waves him through without even needing to check his ID which would normally annoy him for the lapse in security, but tonight he takes it for the small convenience that gets him to where he wants to go a little quicker. He parks and heads inside, not surprised to find Coyote waiting for him.

                “Coyote. What do you need me for?”

                “Bradshaw. Good. You need to go in there and break up with him.”

                It’s the last thing Bradley expected him to say. Clothes or food or a ride… there were so many things he’d thought might be asked of him. So many things he would do instantly without question. This had not crossed his mind. He licks his lips and takes a breath, wonders if he’s maybe misunderstood. It’s late and he’s very tired. It’s possible.

                “What?”

                “He thinks it’s 2007 and that you two are still together.”

                “What?”

                “He…” Coyote starts, and Bradley waves a hand, his brain finally having caught up.

                “No. Wait. Just… he’s… got amnesia?” Bradley asks, because that must be the explanation.

                “Yeah. Ten years’ worth of it.”

                Bradley is pretty sure that’s not how amnesia works, but he’s also not a subject expert.

                “So he…”

                “He thinks you guys are married.”

                “What?”

                Amnesia is when people forget things, not invent completely new lives. Married?

                “What the fuck do you think he’s going to think? The last he remembers you two were all loved up and making long-term plans despite the whole Don’t Ask Don’t Tell…”

                “But why would he think we got married?”

                At this Coyote at least looks a little awkward.

                “I… maybe told him that DADT had been repealed.”

                “You told him that but didn’t tell him that we’d broken up?”

                “Fuck you Bradshaw. I am not doing your dirty work. I’m going to have to pick up the pieces of his broken heart for the second time so get in there and get on with it…”

                Bradley realises his hands are shaking and he’s not sure whether it’s the shock of everything, of knowing Jake is okay, of being told he has to go and break up with Jake… the one thing he doesn’t think he can actually do.

                Not again.

                Fuck.

                He sucks in a shuddering breath.

                “But… where’s his boyfriend. Girlfriend. Or husband. Wife?”

                Coyote is looking at him like he’s stupid.

                “He kind of got fucked over by this guy. You might know him?”

                “He hasn’t…”

                “You’re an idiot Bradshaw.”

                Bradley is pretty sure Coyote doesn’t know the half of it because yeah, he does feel like a real idiot right now. He’s never asked because he couldn’t handle knowing. And now he does know and it’s a different sort of pain, because clearly Jake hasn’t moved on.

                “Come on. He’s through here…”

                He’s hooked up to machines, has bandages on his head, across his chest and his left arm and hand. The room is dimly lit, and he suspects that they’re following concussion protocols. Jake’s asleep.

                Or at least resting with his eyes closed and Bradley can’t help it as Javy watches him with a slack jaw and wide eyes as Bradley sits beside Jake and brushes his hair off his face, fingers feather light. Jake stirs against the caress, eyes blinking open and Bradley’s heart stops, breath caught in his throat as Jake looks at him. Instead of the hard dismissive glare that has flavored so much of their past interactions since Bradley broke up with him, Jake is looking soft and happy and Bradley swallows roughly, fights against the welling up of emotion.

                “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to scare you…” Bradley lets out a humorless huff, shakes his head but keeps his mouth shut, doesn’t even know what to say. “Where were you?”

                “Debrief… went home to shower and change. Shit. Uh. You probably want something to change into…”

                “It’s fine. Feel better seeing you…” Jake says, and his eyes are searching Bradley’s face like he’s looking for something, or maybe just noticing all the differences. “How did you get hotter? Wait. Did I get hotter too? Pfft. Of course I got hotter.”

                “Nothing wrong with your ego, that’s for sure…” Coyote mutters, and Bradley glances his way, and Coyote is definitely glaring at him, clearly waiting for him to just… break Jake’s heart again apparently.

                “Wait. Where’s your wedding ring? Javy said we’re married…”

                “No I didn’t!” Coyote objects.

                “Pfft,” Jake says, hand waving in his direction. “You didn’t need to. Wait. Our rings… oh shit. Where’s mine? Did I… did I lose it in the accident?” Jake asks, and he’s trying to sit up, struggling a little and Bradley presses him back into the bed with a gentle hand, mindful of the bandages but still notes Jake’s wince of pain.

                “No… no the rings are safe and sound at home.”

                Coyote snorts at that and Bradley’s eyes flash to him, because his temper is already short, he doesn’t need an excuse. Coyote is staring at him like he doesn’t believe him, but jokes going to be on him.

                “I’ll bring it in tomorrow, if it’s what you need. What you want.”

                “Yeah. Please. And some clothes too…”

                “Of course. You should probably be resting… I can stay if you want though.”

                “Nah. Go home and get some decent shuteye. I’m not going anywhere. They want to do some more scans. Ten years is a lot you know…”

                “Yeah…��� Bradley says quietly. “I know.”

                He stands to leave, bends down to press a kiss to the middle of Jake’s forehead and watches for a moment, the soft smile at the corner of Jake’s lips as he drifts off. When he turns Coyote is pissed and all of his fight has just seeped out of him with seeing Jake just drop off to sleep. He lets Coyote manhandle him out of the room, glances back once for a final look of Jake and then Coyote is whirling on him.

                “You’re a real piece of work Bradshaw,” Coyote hisses. “Why didn’t you tell him the truth, huh?”

                “Why didn’t you?” Bradley snaps back.

                “I am not going to be the one responsible for breaking my best friend’s heart.”

                “Yeah well… I’m not prepared to do it again. So.”

                “So. What? You’re going to just… lie to him?”

                “Like you’ve been so truthful?”

                “Fuck you Bradshaw…”

                “For all we know he wakes up tomorrow with all his memories… just. He’s happy right now, right? Needs to rest?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Then why fuck him up even more with…” he waves his hand at himself, not sure how to voice how bad it all feels inside him right now. Javy doesn’t say anything, his mouth twists with displeasure and he sniffs, dismissive.

                “Fine. But good luck finding fucking wedding rings in the middle of the night…”

                “Fuck you Machado. You don’t know shit.”

PART THREE

[candypalace]

Translation: the GazettE/Decade Book (Reita&Uruha Interview Snippet)

Hello friends, long time no see. A while ago I translated a part of the Decade Book interview section where Reita and Uruha talk about their indie days for my friends and promised I'd do the whole thing one day.

Posting this piece ahead of the full interview to appreciate the bond the guys had with each other, and, in a way, thank them for not giving up.

scan credit: @rad-is-more

REITA : … I don't really think about the roles within the band, but each of us has a natural role, and I think that's why we've been able to exist for more than 10 years. Um, well, I kinda don't want to talk about this embarrassing stuff…

URUHA: You're embarrassed?! I really don't think it's embarrassing?

REITA: No-no, it’s not like that! I don't think I'm ashamed of what I'm saying, it’s more like when I say it out loud, it makes me feel a little awkward.

URUHA: Aah, so that's what you meant (laughs).

REITA : I think for all five of us the GazettE is very important. Even though me and Uruha first started a band as “a continuation of child's play”, we thought: “I want to take things seriously”, but still those bands didn't last long and always broke up after a few months.

URUHA: I guess that's true. Before we became the GazettE, we played with a band called Kar+te=zyAnose, where Ruki was also the vocalist. The drummer did not even show up for our breakup show, and when we announced “We’re disbanding today”, we heard a faint laugh from the audience. It was a real shock, wasn’t it? It was also the moment when my groundless confidence that made me think “We’re absolutely badass!” collapsed with a loud crash.

REITA: Indeed. It was TOUGH at the time. I guess it is precisely because of that experience that I am so happy to be able to celebrate 10 years with the current members of the band. It is also precisely why I cherish the relationship between the five of us now.

URUHA: That's so true. Before the GazettE settled down, me, Reita and Ruki also played together in bands called Ma’die Kusse and L’ie:Chris before Kar+te=zyAnose. It took us a long time to reach the GazettE.

— You never gave up, did you?

REITA: No, I gave up once! I thought there was nothing next for me. But honestly, I'm glad I didn't quit! (laughs)

URUHA: It’s because me and Ruki desperately tried to stop you, m?

REITA: Really, thank god you did. But back then, I couldn't see the future at all. Even my parents said “Giving up someday is also brave”. There were many times when I wondered “Is now the time?”. When I saw all my friends around me getting jobs and having families and stable lives, I thought maybe this was also a way to happiness. Still, I decided for myself “I’ll try to do my best for one more year”, and it was during that year that the GazettE was formed. I really think it was fate.

URUHA: But it was difficult, right? We didn't have many shows, and we couldn't tell if we saw the future.

REITA: Yeah. If the GazettE had not continued with the current members, I really would have quit.

[tricksterringmaster]

hello beloved artist! you may have probably answered this, and you did apologies, but i was wondering, how did (if they did) the marauders, the prince family, and the black family react to sirius and severus having a kid (corvus)?

Hii, no, I don't think I answered that before!

Tha Black Family

Well, the first person to find out about the situation was actually Regulus. He had a certain fascination with Severus, so he managed to both notice him among other young Death Eaters and figure out that something was wrong with him. It took some convincing for Severus to admit what was going on with him, but Severus also needed at least someone to help him, so it didn't took long for him to tell everything and agree to take Regulus' help, although under the conditions of secrecy. Regulus was initially shocked and maybe even felt a bit betrayed, but he still helped as much as he could before and after Corvus was born. He actually wanted Severus and the child to have more support and social standing, so he wanted his family to know, even offered Severus the idea to tell them that Corvus was actually his, but Severus saw too many possible negative outcomes and refused the idea, so the other Blacks never learned about the child, since Regulus died soon and didn't have time to change Severus' mind.

Although when teen Corvus came to Grimmauld he actually encountered infamous portrait of Walburga, who screamed at him the same way she screamed at Sirius. I actually have a story about it here, and although I didn't go into details, the implication is that the last time she had seen Sirius he had been similar age that Corvus when she saw him for the first time, so she literally saw Sirius in Corvus.

The Marauders

James was diesd before he can learn about it. Peter never really get a chance to. But Remus actually figures it out, because, well, he has to spend a whole year teaching Corvus and bickering with Severus. I have this idea, that he has this feeling of nostalgia when he looks at Harry, and he understands where it comes from, but the same thing happens when he looks at Corvus, but it's harder for him to explain to himself, so he spends enough time to come to certain conclusions. He can't be 100% sure, so he keeps it to himself, but in OotP with Severus being the one to bring Corvus to Grimmauld and then checking on the kid too many times, Remus feels sure enough to tease Severus about it. He has many questions, of course, but his thought process about it all was so gradual (and he knew about Sirius and Severus' relationship in Hogwarts, although not about the fact that they met again after), so there is no shock in it.

The Prince Family

Well, they are all dead, so it's not like they can find out about Corvus or meet him in person. But I kind of consider The Palace (their house) a part of the family, and while it's quite angry and violent after decades of isolation when Severus visits for the first time, for Corvus the first visit is more welcoming. And also, yeah, they have portraits, and the portraits are very curious about new members of the family they've never met before.

I think it's important to remind here that I don't go with "blood purist pureblood family" for my Princes, so they are not dramatic about it in any negative way, in the end they are happy to see new people when they thought their family's story came to its end years ago.

[raichukfm]

I played Undertale recently. My favorite character is Chara. No, I didn't kill anybody. I am going to go on about them, now.

Spoilers for Undertale, all the routes. "It came out nearly a decade ago!" Yeah and I first played it last week and was happily surprised by the sheer amount of things I hadn't been spoiled on, so. Have a courtesy warning! Also courtesy warning: Too many fucking words. I'm sorry.

As a preface: Undertale really genuinely touched me. I bring this up as a preface because I think it's important to why it is exactly I feel how I feel, and that is important to how I perceived Chara.

And it having such an impact honestly surprised me; Undertale seemed cute and fun but silly and something I had felt… prepared for? Like, inadvertently, from hearing about it and its characters for so long. And for some parts early on, I was, at least in part. I liked Sans and Papyrus from the start, but in the way that I liked a gimmick, and it took time for the enjoyment to get more and more… not genuine, it already was, but I can't find the word I'm looking for. I guess it struck me with less artificiality? It started actually getting to me. This was happening throughout the whole length of things, like, I really genuinely liked Toriel basically from the start, but the farther in I got the more it was happening. Actually, looking back, the intro cinematic really hit for me in a way that should have clued me in that this game was going to get me.

Because I really connected with Chara as the character I was playing as, to an extent that honestly really surprised me? It felt emotionally resonant. Admittedly, naming Chara the way that I did probably did a fair amount of lifting there; I used a nickname of mine that isn't used that often. I think that hit more than it would have if I had used one of my first names, since it was distant enough to easily have differentiation while also close enough to feel so immediately personal. Chara is someone where most things with them are up to interpretation, but I just had a specific interpretation readily and naturally come to me.

Of course, I knew the Chara and Frisk distinction beforehand, and that informed my interpretation pretty heavily; but I hadn't really heard much of anything about Chara other than the Genocide Route stuff, prior. I mostly saw them treated as like some pure evil nasty may-as-well-have-been-demon. I hadn't been reading like narraChara theories or anything (amazing name, 10/10 whoever coined it). I just landed there naturally. When Undertale was giving the early hints that Chara had actually come before the human you played as, like in the garbage dump, it only amplified those feelings.

My read was that I as the player I was, largely, controlling Frisk's actions, but seeing Chara's thoughts. Every time I saw or heard memories, they were Chara's. But I don't think Chara was in control of the body or anything. I think Chara was there tagging along as an observer, at first not sure what exactly was happening or understanding why; but linked to Frisk's SOUL and so having Frisk's feelings resonate through them. So, they decided to help. They not only lent their lingering Determination but also just tried to help Frisk stay determined in the normal sense. But that was what they were doing: Not acting, but watching Frisk's actions and feeling their feelings.

And in my playthrough, Frisk was a dogged pacifist who was very reluctant to even slightly hurt anyone and very willing to put themselves into terrible danger because of that. And I think seeing that, feeling the feelings behind it resonating with them, made Chara a better person. A profoundly better person. Just in itself, the way it would anyone, but… Here's an example of the best of humanity, that same humanity they despised. Here's someone willing to refuse violence even if it puts them at risk of dying, even actually dying once before they discovered they could LOAD even after death, if they remained determined. Someone who again and again and again takes attacks and doesn't fight back unless it's absolutely necessary, who sees a whole people that have time and time again just tried to callously kill them and keeps choosing to help them. To trust them, and reach out to them, again and again and again, and who each time is proven right. Even when there's nothing to reach out to but dead human children whose SOULs had been absorbed for power by an entity whose power was represented in their SAVE by the highest numbers expressible there.

I think seeing all of that really challenged Chara's worldview in general and view of humanity in particular. I think they understood that they had been wrong, and done wrong.

And then Frisk goes back one more time to set things right and save everyone. Chara is there experiencing what Frisk is feeling as they go through that lab, as they learn about Determination... when they find those videotapes and learn about how Chara died intentionally, hoping to wreak violence on humanity and then break the Barrier. And Chara learns that Flowey was their adoptive brother, all along. Sees with what must be horror what has become of sweet little Asriel, knowing that this only happened because of then. Understanding what Asriel chose in the end, why he chose it, and now seeing what trying to make up for that 'mistake' had done to him. And Chara sees Frisk try so hard to save him, even after everything he's done, just because he's another person. And Chara does everything they can to help Frisk, together mustering enough Determination to deny death itself, as many times as needed, until Frisk does it. Reaches out to Asriel and helps him to get over what happened enough to stop fighting, to start to heal, to give up on godhood... To use a moment of unity to bring down the Barrier without needing to hurt anyone else.

And Chara watched their brother realize that Frisk isn't them, and that that is good. That Frisk is a better person, and one whom Asriel wishes he could have had in his life before, as he admits to himself that Chara wasn't a good person. And Chara lets go. They let Frisk and everyone else go to their happy ending, while they stay behind.

And then Asriel and Chara have one last moment, in the game. Chara comes back and Asriel, even once again lacking a SOUL, cares enough about everyone else to ask Chara to let them be happy, to not tear them away from everything. But Asriel doesn't trust Chara, and so asks that if they are going to rip them out of their happy ending… do it to him too. Don't make him sit through everything repeating. Don't make him become deadened all over again by seeing everything play out over and over and over again in countless variations. And then he imagines that this exchange has happened again and again and again and Chara must be tired of hearing it. Because that is what Chara would do, isn't it?

But Chara doesn't say anything. Maybe they can't, maybe they just choose not to. Instead, they let their brother say goodbye to them. And then they choose to let go. Chara couldn't be the one to save Asriel; it had to be Frisk. Once Frisk has... What waits for them and their brother… I don't know. But I hope they can be happy. I hope they got their closure. And, maybe vainly, I hope they can find some way to have each other again, but healthily this time. But that's for them, not for me. Maybe one or both choose to let go entirely and fade away, return to the death that had once taken them. All I've got is hopes for the future of these people that aren't even real.

Immersion is a powerful thing, huh?

...

So, about the Genocide Route. There's a lot of characterization for Chara there, and some for Asriel too. I know people tend to read the Genocide Route as Chara taking Frisk over and unleashing their preexisting violent impulses, but I really don't think that's right. I don't think that route shows what Chara was like before much at all. I think the Genocide Route is what happens when Chara finds themselves brought back from the pall of death, given some sort of second chance, and all they can do in it is watch Frisk murder everyone they encounter. When they see their mother get murdered in cold blood, and can feel how little Frisk cared about her while doing it. When all they can feel when it happens is that sick sense of pleasure at an accomplishment. When they're forced to find some kind of meaning in that, some reason for why they were brought back and made to be complicit in this, some purpose to this existence.

And they find it. They find it in their idea of numerical invincibility, and they cling to it. And they are abraded down until all that's left of them is their worst impulses stripped of context, magnified, and then redefined under the light of this 'purpose'… and that sick sense of accomplishment. More and more, Chara wears down to this thing that only cares about power and violence, and more and more Chara loses their sense of distinction from Frisk, sees these actions as their own; or maybe they become more and more able to exert control of the actions as they redefine themselves to be better at wielding power. Either way, Chara murders their father. Chara murders their brother. Then Chara destroys humanity, not even out of hatred, but simply for the sake of power. They destroy all the monsters they missed, too. Only power matters; the gaining of it, and also the exercise of it for its own sake. The only thing they don't destroy is Frisk, their reliable partner, the one who showed them their purpose. The one they are perversely grateful to, but will betray the moment it suits them, now that they have the power to do so.

I've heard a lot about how this is criticism of RPG players, and I can see that but more and more I don't think that the purpose of this is to moralize, or at least that that's not the only purpose. Because this shows Chara become their worst self, this epitome of power in a husk of a person. Someone who wasn't a great person from the start falls to horrific depths. And then they can't climb back out. You can't help them out. Chara defines themselves as Numbers Go Up because after all this trauma from the first moment that their plan went awry and Asriel held back their powers, and they both died a second time… All they have refuge in is that belief in invincibility. Chara believes you can escape suffering if you become the strongest thing in the world. And so Chara does just that. And it's all they can hold onto, because it's the only thing holding them together.

But really they're just another lost soul who you no longer have the power to save or comfort or bring positive emotions to, someone tricking themselves into thinking they're an unfeeling demon beyond sentimentality just to feel like they have some control, so they can delight in exercising power over others without guilt or regret.

Frisk can give them their SOUL and Chara doesn't change, doesn't really feel anything more, no matter what Frisk shows them. Because they've closed their heart to those feelings. You can't take this back. You can't save them. They're the only person you can't save. Sometimes, when you hurt people you make them worse and you can't be the one to help them after that. And you can't cheat. Whatever you do… Chara remembers it. You can't just take it back, can't do it over. You can only look on in horror at what Chara has become and accept or deny your fault in it.

In the Pacifist Route… I think Chara feels something like that when learning that Flowey was Asriel all along, and knowing it was their fault.

It's easy to blame what Asriel became on the lack of his SOUL. But I really believe that's not what it was. Maybe that does dull feelings, but you don't need a SOUL to love, to care. We see that, with Asriel-as-Flowey asking Chara to leave the others to their happy ending. We can see it in how Chara, at their worst, gets a SOUL and gets no better. How Chara, with a SOUL, does not understand the sentimentality still held by the player who has already given up theirs. Flowey didn't become a monster because of the lack of his SOUL. He was a traumatized little kid who couldn't get his life back, couldn't get his sibling back, but had the power to evade consequences and abused it to try and cope until it further wore down his ability to care. So he retreated to seeing things as less than real to cope with it all, resorted to cruelty and vindictiveness just to feel something.

Where Asriel as Flowey makes a performative show of his petty cruelty and vindictiveness, Chara dresses it up with dispassion and a veneer of objective judgement. But, deep down? They're the same. If you don't let yourself feel anything you can't be hurt.

The Genocide Route isn't some creepypasta about a demon taking over an innocent. Nothing so convenient as that. Because the point is that you choose to do it. You do it, and you choose it every step of the way, and only at the very very end does it become too late to turn back. So it fits it better, I think, if it's not about Chara corrupting Frisk... But about you corrupting Chara. Whether that you is Frisk, or you the player, you make someone who was a bad person to start with so much worse.

Asriel was pressured and manipulated by Chara and became a worse person for it, and then retreated to the toxic ideology of "kill or be killed" to cope with that and further trauma, as well as denying his own emotionality in an attempt to make himself invincible. And in the Genocide Route, Chara does the exact same fucking thing. A different toxic ideology, that the only thing that matters is acquiring power, a different mask to deny their emotions which is impassive rather than irreverent, but so similar. Beat for beat. Even down to the fact that Asriel still idolized the person who hurt him, considered them special, the only person worth caring about: Chara wants you to come with them to conquer and destroy new worlds, considers you the perfect partner, doesn't kill you even when you try to resist them, even keeps remaking the world for you when you ask despite already getting your SOUL the first time. You showed them the truth of their existence, after all, even without meaning to. Just as Chara showed Asriel that this world is kill or be killed, even without meaning to.

So… Knowing that all of this could happen…

It adds a lot, I think, to the Pacifist Ending. To Chara getting better, growing as a person and helping everyone, learning they were wrong about the world and humanity, and letting power go. Letting Frisk go. Letting everyone go. Hearing out Asriel's grievances with what they did and accepting them. Just being happy that Asriel could be saved along with everyone else, before the end, despite the negative impact they had had on him and how coming back as a flower no one recognized as him fucked him up even worse.

I just like those two poor siblings, and can't help but be sympathetic to somebody young making a nasty plan with good intentions but without a real appreciation for what they were doing. I am so glad that such a tragic and awful thing got better the way it did, amidst everyone else getting their happy ending. And I think Chara just gets me so much because they become so much better than they were to begin with, and because I felt I was there with them. Immersion is a powerful thing. But maybe even more than that... It's that Frisk doesn't save Chara. Frisk can't save Chara. Frisk can just give Chara the chance they needed to save themselves.

[arachniee]

✰ The Arbiter of Justice.

Ex Situationship! Alastor x Female! Overlord Reader , Vox x Female! Overlord Reader, Lucifer x Female! Overlord Reader

₊˚✩彡 Summary: Famously known as hell's only demon that can break contracts between other sinners, you were very sought after by those who wish to free themselves from the wretched hands of their soul owners, much to the dismay (annoyance) of the other Overlords.

₊˚✩彡Notes: okay so, i know you're probably wondering why this came out faster than the parts of my other series, lets just say that i absolutely despised the first drafts i had and had to redo and edit some stuff again, but hey, here you go (this is not proofread, you have been warned)

╰⪼ “Those fuckers are back!”

Vox yelled, flailing his arms out with each syllable that left his petty mouth. Great. First, he found out that the radio demon was back from whatever hole in hell he's been hiding in for the last 7 years, and second, that bitch in the shadows made her appearance again after a whole decade! God, isn't his life just fucking great.

Valentino wanted to snicker, mock him because of his childishness. But he couldn't, for he too was not pleased with someone's return. Sure, he could live without Alastor, and yeah, he could live with the radio demon around. He didn't really care about him, it was only Vox who hated Alastor so much to obviously express it. But the Arbiter? Valentino would even thank any exorcist who manages to kill her. Though, he knew not to expect anything. Since the Vee’s have never really laid a scratch on her skin, no matter what they did. 

“I thought she was gone for good too.”

It's been almost 10 years since she left, leaving the Vee’s to assume (hope) that she'd never return and potentially ruin their status. Ever since her sudden disappearance, they've made it their goal to savour this experience, the feeling of making as many contracts as possible without the restraint from that wretched woman who was dubbed the “Arbiter”.

“Can’t this day get any fucking worse?!” 

Vox was fuming, it was very prominent. Of course he'd be angry, a threat has been posed to his business. With the Arbiter’s return, surely he'll lose most of his employees again! And that is NOT happening. And to add to his already boiling anger, the radio demon is back as well. He could feel the temperature of his screen almost overloading, if he doesn't calm down soon, he might even crack his screen. 

It was only a matter of time ‘til the word reached Velvette, and they were sure that she would also be displeased with the news. All these deals and contracts they made to build themselves up, climb the ranks, all of these may potentially be snatched away by the Arbiter again in a matter of time. They can't afford for that to happen, not now, not again, not ever.

“The upcoming Overlord meeting… Are you going to attend?”

Valentino asked, eyebrows furrowed as he waited for Vox’s answer. His question was hinting a very obvious thought, with the return of the radio demon and the arbiter, surely almost every Overlord will be present. No, the Arbiter has never really attended the meeting personally, but they always send a shadow in their place. That's the most interaction a person has with her, aside from those who manage to successfully summon her and make a contract with her for her services. So attending the Overlord meeting and speaking with the shadow would be their only way of communicating with her. That is the only way they'll be able to receive some sort of response. 

Even with how problematic the Arbiter is for them, little to none is known about her. Every person whom she freed from a contract will always do and say the same thing. Their finger pressing to their lips, a eerily soft smile, and a gentle voice that would speak the words;

“Sh, her shadow might hear you!”

Well, that didn't fill up with any context. It was the same actions and answer, no matter how many times a demon would ask them. Did the Arbiter do something to them? Did they say something? Regardless, it was really frustrating. Especially to those who wanted to gather information about her to bring her down. Ehem, the Vee’s, and maybe a few other Overlords.

───〃★

Ever since your disappearance, Alastor and his dear friends were quite bummed (more so than he'd like to admit). And maybe because of the fact that he may favor you more than the others, who knows? But the pain you unknowingly left in his heart was a feeling he could never forget. A feeling he can’t seem to get himself past. Petty, call it as you will. But the memory you engraved in his mind kept him up all night, every night. You consumed him and his thoughts, especially in his sleep.

Which is why he wanted nothing more than to never sleep again.

Despite him not wanting to acknowledge it, he liked you far more than the rest. And he hated himself for it. No matter how hard he tried to avoid any indication of your presence, you still bled into every crevice and corner of this shitty hell hole. Every corner that touched the light and casted shadows, all of it haunted him.

Everything was so similar to you.

So he left. For the longest time, he tried his very best to forget you, spending his time doing who knows what. It has already been 7 years, before he knew it. He knew it was conflicting, but a part of his wretched soul wondered. 

Would you be there on his return?

Most likely not. He hoped that you wouldn’t. But he also hoped to see you, even just once. A single glance at you would’ve made him crumble. The wall that he built to keep romance away, it’ll all come crashing down, without a doubt. 

“Alastor? What’s botherin’ you, dear?” 

A feminine voice cut through the thick tension in the room, a gentle hand resting on his shoulder. Ah, he almost forgot he was in his dear friend’s Emporium. Well, it wasn’t entirely his fault his thoughts wandered off, especially after seeing a picture with a familiar face on it. 

“Oh, worry not, Dear Rosie! Nothing a little work can’t handle!’

He assured her, that wide, signature smile of his visibly staring back at the woman. She mirrored it, though she seemed a little less hostile, even with her razor sharp teeth. She had been worried since Alastor left, of course, but what worried her more was how she’d often find him in a daze, seemingly unaware of everything around. Now, in hell, being unaware of your surroundings is the last thing you want. It’s not like she was doubting his strength and power, oh no. But she really can’t help it. She’s often the one taking care of everyone, so naturally, she wants to be there for him out of instinct. 

“Well, it certainly doesn’t look like it, Cerf.”

A husky voice piped in, peeking from behind the couch that Rosie and the radio demon sat on. Another figure, who seemingly appeared to be a more masculine version of the Cannibal District’s leader. Same pitch black eyes, pale skin and mop of greyish pink stands. Adorned with a rather lavish suit and a light colored fedora that contrasted Rosie’s more pinkish hat. 

“As sharp as always, I see you are!”

“Oh come on, pumpkin! We gotta give Alastor his own personal space, okay? If he doesn’t wanna talk about it then we won’t force him.” 

Rosie interrupted, glancing behind her to finally eye the person that the voice belonged to. The previous smile on her face seemed to grow, of course, why wouldn’t it? Looking at her younger brother has always been pleasing to her, especially since they look too much alike.

“I am well aware, my Rosa. Must you always treat me as an unknowing child?” 

Her younger brother sighed, momentarily closing his eyes and shaking his head left and right, his greyish pink locks swaying with each movement. 

“But my dear, it seems that you are!” 

The radio demon replied to his question. This was one of the ways Alastor tried, in hopes of forgetting you. Spending time with his dearest friends was something he cherished, especially with how much he saw that they genuinely cared for him. But it was a bittersweet feeling. 

How differently would things be if you were still here?

“Word has it that she has finally returned.” 

The same figure from behind the two seated Overlords exclaimed, tone now an octave lower and stirring with an unknowing emotion. Was he trying to be cautious? Or was he trying to not be insensitive towards Alastor’s feelings? Well, whatever the reason, this topic was bound to surface in their conversations anytime soon, so might as well talk about it now.

“My Riose, that is not something you must bring up so suddenly!” 

The said young man let out a huff of air, out of amusement or interest, not quite sure. Gosh, he certainly is still like a child in the two Overlords’ eyes. With a shrug, Riose decided to change the topic. Man, he was expecting to hear more stories about the Arbiter, but that can wait another time perhaps. Once the radio demon has fully moved on, he supposed. 

Alastor knew you were back, he has connections after all. But he hated how he hoped so much that you’d meet again, after all these years. But that was closer to impossible, to be honest. He’s accepted that fact, not fully, but he’s trying. Trying to move on, trying to forget you.

Though Riose had a feeling that he’d share this stuff with you and tell you about the shit the radio demon has been ranting to him and his sister, and unfortunately, you don’t know if you want to let Alastor go yet.

[not-poignant]

Hi! I’m sorry if this has been asked before, but I was wondering if you’d be willing to speak to how writing Underline the Rainbow feels after writing in the Fae Tales universe? I’m reading both kind of at the same time, and even just approaching Efnisien in UtR or Gwyn in Game Theory feels crazy because I change tab and BAM the one that’s terrible has swapped. And especially with character relationships - was it hard to write Augus with Mosk after a whole universe worth of writing where he’s with Gwyn? And then follow-up question: if someone were to (hypothetically) write a one-shot where Efnision from Underline the Rainbow and Gwyn from Game Theory met by some weird wormhole - how would that go??? Hypothetically, of course.

Hallo,

I think the main thing to remember is for me, it's a 13 year difference. Well, like a 10-13 year difference, between these two characters.

And for me, Efnisien as a fae is not at all the same as Efnisien as a human. I had to change a lot to make human Efnisien work, because fae Efnisien was literally born evil, to a degree that even Crielle found hard to control. She didn't need to abuse him in the canon, she didn't need to brainwash him, he literally came out that way.

But humans aren't really like that, and I decided to give him a more foundational experience to sort of train him into what he becomes.

was it hard to write Augus with Mosk after a whole universe worth of writing where he’s with Gwyn?

If anything it was easier - again, I've had ten years of Augus and Gwyn! I've given Augus and Gwyn many, many happy endings across many different stories. They have had so many versions of meeting, falling in love, solving (some of their biggest) problems, and finding their found family and giving them closure.

So like, after a decade of that, it felt very easy and natural to start pairing Augus with other people, and playing around with Gwyn's character a bit more. Because I was ready for a change! Mosk and Augus also have chemistry in the canon, especially from The Ice Plague book 2 and onwards. So that definitely felt natural.

if someone were to (hypothetically) write a one-shot where Efnision from Underline the Rainbow and Gwyn from Game Theory met by some weird wormhole - how would that go???

That would be up to them!

If they were writing it they could decide how they wanted it to go. :D

If I were writing it, honestly, if Gwyn knew it was Efnisien he'd assume it was weird magic and probably give serious thought to killing him, or at the very least like, sequestering and probably tormenting him with magic to find the 'truth.' And if he'd never met any version of Efnisien he'd be like 'well that's a human and I could not give a smaller shit about any humans.'

(This is why I'm not good with hypotheticals. I feel like folks who write Fae Tales fanfic would do this way better than me x.x)

But yeah the TL;DR is mostly that like, time and millions of words on a character means it becomes a lot easier to change things up in bigger ways. For folks just discovering the stories, that's a very different journey! But for me, and a few of the readers around, it's been a slow journey that has tracked through some major life events in our lives, that has seen both pre and post-pandemic, that started when some of us were working other jobs, hadn't had children yet, were still in high school, were getting our diplomas or degrees, etc. 10-13 years is a long time from Game Theory to Underline, and there's a whole world of life in between that both for the characters and for me and for a few others, and I think that's when it becomes much easier to depart from something, because when you're slowly giving the same two characters a similar kind of closure every two years or so, one day you go 'oh I'm ready to do this for other characters now' and 'Gwyn would be fun as a villain and folks have been asking for dark!Gwyn for a while.' :D

[xf-cases-solved]

i am aware that this is likely not a new take at all, and i'm not like, claiming it as mine, but i never had the chance to have this opinion (or hear other ppl have this opinion) on a public forum before, so i just want to take this opportunity to say to another person, possibly for the first time with the exception of mb my mother, who is no longer here to agree with me, that "existence" came out when i was 8 years old, i watched it live, and literally the day i watched it i remember thinking to myself "why did they have a boy named william? they should have had a girl named samantha. OF COURSE they should have had a girl named samantha," like it felt so obvious to me

and tho i couldn't rly articulate it this clearly at the time, my little muddy 8 year old thought process was that the entire story of the xfiles starts with samantha, right? mulder has his beliefs bc samantha was taken; he says so in the very first episode. the whole reason he even thinks aliens are real to begin with is bc of samantha. the person he spent his whole life searching for was samantha. he MET SCULLY bc of samantha. samantha is the thread that ties the whole story together, so then how beautiful--how narratively perfect--would it have been to tie THEIR story--their love story (bc xfiles is, at the end of the day, a love story, fight me) up with a bow, where the beginning starts with samantha getting lost, and then ends with samantha there in their arms, finally found, just in a different iteration. (instead of naming the baby after mulder's dad who he doesn't even like? or scully's dad. or scully's brother. or mulder's middle name, which is after his father ik, but still, why are there so many fucking williams??)

like, imagine it. rly sit there and take a moment to imagine how the end scene in "existence" would have gone if mulder had said, "what are you going to name her," and scully had said, "samantha"

not only does it get the "ding ding ding, you're the dad!" point across, but how fucking Touched would mulder have been to have the woman he loves--the PERSON he loves--more than anything on earth honor the sister who took up so much of his soul for so long? who always will take up part of his soul, just in a healthier way. it would be scully saying, "we know she's gone from this world now, but she's not gone from our hearts" emphasis on OUR hearts, bc mulder's pain is scully's pain; mulder's quests are scully's quests. she never met her sister-in-law (they're married, fight me), and will never have the chance, but by naming their child after her, she would be saying, "i love her anyway. i love her because you love her, and because anyone you love deserves my love as well, bc we are intertwined at our core. our fundamental values, our suffering, our joy, it is felt in us both concurrently, bc i am your person, and you are mine, and together we made a whole other person who is a literal representation of our combined selves, and we are going to call her SAMANTHA, bc that little girl you watched get stolen from you however many decades ago has been the pillar that has kept us going as a team for the last eight years"

or maybe it would have been even simpler than that. maybe she would just be saying, "your sister is IMPORTANT, mulder, even in death, and her memory isn't held only by you. it is unrelenting, and preserved forever in our child"

i wanted that scene. i wanted to feel the heaviness of mulder's grief mixed with his elation and gratitude and love. i appreciate william for who he was in the scheme of things, but that moment in the bedroom, with their baby between them, shouldn't have been lessened for me bc they chose a name that made me pause and go "his dad was named william? oh yeah! forgot about that guy, it's been a few YEARS since we saw much of him, and what we did see of him wasn't like... awesome. but sure, name your baby that ig, if you must"

that scene should have hit so much harder, and if that baby had been a samantha? it could have hit like nothing ever has, and for all the mishaps that show took after that (and there were MANY), i think the thing i will always have the most resentment for is the fact that i felt robbed of something that would have meant so much to me as a viewer who had followed their journey from the start (or, well, almost start. i was born the year it came out, so i didn't start watching until 1998, when my brain came online, but i'd seen the past stuff at least)

anyway! that's all to say, 8 year old me was salty as hell about that, and ykno what? she was RIGHT and should have been able to say it. but, again, 2001, 8 years old, not old enough to participate in fandom, so that thought has just festered and rotted away in my brain like a piece of old, putrid meat. but! finally i can give my 8 year old self some catharsis by letting her bitch and bitch and bitch to her heart's content about how "existence" should have been the series finale, and how that baby should have been a girl named samantha, and how i climbed onto that hill 23 years ago, and how i will die there with my heels dug down deep

ty, internet, for coming to my extremely overdue tedtalk. somewhere in the past there is a small child (who definitely shouldn't have been allowed to watch xfiles as young as she did, but what can you do?) finally has a weight off of her chest. it's just a tv show, and in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter, but also, it's a tv show that i grew up with in my formative and unfortunately very traumatic years, and it genuinely feels like a loved one who has always been there to comfort me, and so yeah, it doesn't "matter," but the truth is, it Matters so incredibly much

that's all

-diz

[bogwaterparasite]

Stalking

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Paring: Miles Morales-42 x Reader

WC: 2.1k

CW: None

A/N: Third chapter and oh lord… no wonder this project was abandoned LMFAOOOO, uhm, well!! I hope you guys enjoy this? I practically rewrote the entire thing but kept the whole plot I had in mind at the moment, so you might see a change in the writing. It seems like I also only had 3 chapters, and honestly? I don’t know where to take it from here.

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Growing up teaches you a harsh reality that not many are able to accept, days off are a myth. Even when you're supposed to be relaxing, there's always something demanding your attention. For high school students like me, "free time" is just another opportunity to study, to prepare for the next exam, to keep that perfect grade that might not even matter in the grand scheme of things. Weekends become a continuous cycle of burning words and numbers into your brain, hoping to maintain that elusive 100 on a piece of paper.

This particular weekend, I found myself drawn home to study, seeking some undefined comfort in family proximity. Looking back, I'm not sure it was the smartest decision.

The cacophony of my family home crashed against my already frayed nerves. My mother's music battled with the construction-level noise of my younger nephews, her occasional disciplinary yells cutting through the chaos. The two earbuds wedged in my ears offered minimal protection, more a psychological shield than an actual sound barrier. Typically this wouldn’t have bothered me, my family is huge and the years of being in this exact position should’ve made me immune to the noise, but no. Stress has a way of amplifying every sound, every movement, until the world feels like it's pressing down on you.

When my nephew's cry pierced through my music, something inside me cracked. I needed to escape before I joined him in tears.

"Alvaro Deja eso ah- Mija? Where are you going? Do you have practice today or something?"

My mom paused her cleaning, lowering the vacuum's roar and dimming her music. I fumbled with my shoes, leaning against the wall for support as I struggled to slip on the boots.

"No, I'm gonna head to the coffee shop for something to eat. I'm craving a croissant," I replied, managing a light chuckle.

She rolled her eyes. "Tu y esas cochinadas.. Be back before dinner, alright? And don't fill yourself up with food, it's bad for you!"

"Yeah yeah, I know."

After finally getting able to get the shoes on my feet, I proceeded to pick up the bag on the floor, quickly slipping it over my shoulder before walking to her side, giving a quick kiss on her cheek, and practically bolting through the door.

Brooklyn's streets were a symphony of urban noise - horns honking, construction drilling, people chattering. But with my earbuds firmly in place, the world transformed. As corny as it sounds, the music became my runway, and suddenly, I was more than just a stressed teenager. I was a model, head high, stride confident, face stoic. It was a momentary escape, a fantasy that I fabricated to escape the reality that haunted me, a fantasy that lasted right up until the mortifying thought of someone reading my mind would snap me back to reality.

The familiar cafe welcomed me, a sanctuary of warmth and routine. In the corner behind the counter you could see, and hear, Linda and her husband, an elderly couple who'd run this place for decades, who continued their eternal love story. They laughed like teenagers, their connection a beacon of hope in a world of fleeting connections and situationships. Some part of me hoped someday I would be able to have something like that, a relationship so full of love despite being together for so long. But during this day and age? It’s highly unlikely

I took out the earbuds from my ears, pausing the music from my phone as Linda greeted me with her usual brightness. We chatted about school, her children, their latest adventures. Talking with her was like a breath of fresh air, a small moment of genuine human connection that could lift even the heaviest mood.

After our conversation, I settled at a window counter, laptop out, diving deep into my studies. The world around me dissolved. Sounds became a distant buzz, my focus laser-sharp on the screen, analyzing every word, every detail.

"Weirdo..."

The coffee shop had always been his sanctuary - a place of quiet study just blocks from home. Today, however, something felt different. Different, because *she* was also there.

Miles caught sight of her hunched over her laptop, that distinctive hairstyle instantly recognizable. A smile crept across his lips before he could stop it. He'd never considered himself particularly social. Just days ago, she was just another face in his biology class - someone who existed out of the corner of his eye, boring and easily ignored. So why couldn't he stop thinking about her now?

Grabbing his usual drink, Miles approached her table with a casualness that mimicked his usual demeanor. He sat down besides her, avoiding any direct interaction with her. Don't seem desperate. Don't seem like you're trying

The window became his focal point, the shield against his confusing emotions. Each sip of his drink was calculated, each glance carefully measured. But concentration proved impossible. Ten minutes passed, and she remained completely absorbed in her studies, unaware of his presence.

An unfamiliar restlessness grew inside him. Irritation? Curiosity? His emotions tangled themselves into something he couldn't quite name..

Finally, he turned. His cheek rested against his knuckles while studying her profile. *Should I say something? Would she even notice?* The internal debate felt ridiculous. He, Miles Morales, was overthinking an interaction with a classmate who’s name he couldn’t even remember… ironic.

When she finally looked up, the shift in her expression was fascinating. Initial confusion transformed into recognition, surprise prominent in her face. His own lips quirked into an unexpected smile, a small laugh following afterward.

"I was wondering how long it was going to take you," he found himself speaking first, the words coming out more confident than he felt. "You need to be more aware of your surroundings, especially in public spaces. Someone could've stolen something, and you'd have no clue."

It was a deflection, really. A way to cover the fact that he'd been watching her, wondering about her, trying to understand this sudden fascination that seemed to consume him whole these last few days. His friends would never believe this. The guy known for his stoic demeanor, practically staking out a spot just to sit near someone who, mere days ago, he'd found merely tolerable? It was ridiculous.. laughable, and that just made him feel even more ridiculous.

"Are you stalking me or something?"

The words slipped out of my mouth before I could fully comprehend the situation. Before the day he lost his sketchbook, he could be compared to a ghost. A person I only saw during biology, but now? He was everywhere!! The library, the hallways, the goddamned coffee shop that I frequented.. it was only plausible to assume he was doing it on purpose!

To my surprise, he laughed at the accusation. Not a small chuckle, but a genuine, full-bodied laugh that seemed to surprise even him. His usual sharp features softened, revealing a vulnerability I'd never seen before. This all just made it contagious, a smile tugging at my lips before I started to laugh as well.

“I think it should be me asking you that question.. suddenly you’re everywhere I go. It’s getting creepy” he spoke, his laugh diminishing yet leaving a small smile remaining on his lips.

“Let me remind you that I was here first” I answered, resting my elbow on the table and leaning my cheek against the palm of my hand, “and besides, I am not the weirdo that sat there staring at an oblivious person for god knows how long”

My intentions were to tease him, however, his reaction made me realize that it indeed wasn’t the way it played out. His smile faded, his eyes falling on the window once more as he coughed to clear his throat. My smile slowly faded as well, looking away sheepishly. Maybe I’m getting too comfortable too soon? I mean, we just started talking to each other not too long ago.. I’m definitely being weird.

“Anywho..” Imitating his actions, I coughed to clear my throat. Shutting my computer close and stuffing it back into the bag. “I was already done either way. I’ll get out of your territory now”

As I was about to stand up he reached over for my bag, yanking it away and looking up to meet my eyes once again

“Chill ma, I didn’t say you had to leave” he replied nonchalantly, placing the bag back on the floor next to the bar stool where I once sat “what test were you studying for?”

As we talked, the initial awkwardness I had created dissipated. He wasn't just the intimidating boy from biology class anymore, he was something more like… a friend? I couldn’t quite place what I could associate him with. He spoke passionately about his art, his hands moving expressively, his eyes lighting up with each story. I found myself captivated, not just by his words, but by the way he revealed layers of himself I'd never imagined existed.

My gaze drifted, tracing the lines of his face - his long braids, those sharp yet soft eyes, the subtle curve of his lips, simple and minuscule details I hadn’t ever taken the time to notice. Part of me felt regret for not seeking out a relationship with him before, despite all the opportunities that I was given at the time.

Those thoughts consumed me whole, given away by the fact that I continued shamelessly staring. When he caught onto the fact, I quickly looked away, heat rising to my cheeks.

"Hey, are you even listening?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, I zoned out," I mumbled.

“Figured.” He replied quickly, taking out his phone from his pocket and checking the time “it’s getting pretty late out. You should head home soon”

Checking my phone, I realized I was well past my mother's expected return time. Panic seized me.

"Shit... I've got to go!"

I gathered my things in a whirlwind, promising to see him at school, leaving Miles alone in the cafe.

Miles found himself trapped in a dangerous dance of denial. He was spending time with someone he'd previously dismissed, and the very thought made him uncomfortable. People had always seemed to speak about her fondly - mentions in passing during lunch, casual comments about her wit or intelligence, even his own friends had made a few comments about her in some of their classes, but he'd never paid attention. To it

When she sat back down, a strange mix of relief coursed through him, straightening himself out for a moment before returning to his typical relaxed stance

The conversation was typical of those who were just beginning to meet each other, casual comments about their classes, stuff at school.. but then the inevitable topic slipped from her lips. Art.

His whole life, art had become somewhat of a lifeline for him, an escape from a world that could either be your worst enemy or your best friend. He began talking about his passion, the way colors blended, how a single brushstroke could tell an entire story. His hands moved animatedly, revealing a vulnerability he rarely showed. Each word was a piece of himself, carefully being unwrapped and presented to her with an ease that seemed to amaze even himself.

But something was off. Her gaze seemed... different. Not quite listening, but not disinterested either. She was looking at him with an intensity that made him simultaneously uncomfortable and exhilarated.

'Am I boring her?' The thought crashed into him like a tidal wave, a new sense of nervousness beginning to rise within him. Stopping mid sentence, he began eying her carefully. Her gaze was fixed on him, her attention also focused on his being, yet not really his words. Something about her stare felt different. Admiring? Analyzing? The distinction blurred.

"Hey..? Are you listening to me?"

The spell broke. She apologized, something shifting in the air between them. He had planned to ask for her number, to formally start... something. A friendship? More? But before he could gather his thoughts, she was gone.

The walk home was a wind whirl of emotions. His mind battled with the newfound sense of intrigue that overwhelmed him whenever she was around. The questions circled like vultures, offering no resolution to his problem.

His home greeted him with a familiar emptiness. "Pa, Ma, I'm back!" The words echoed through silent rooms. His father was perpetually chasing a promotion, his mother working endless hospital shifts. Loneliness was a familiar companion.

Dropping into his chair, Miles pulled out his books. Study materials stared back, a reminder of why he'd gone to the coffee shop in the first place. Yet all he could think about was her - the way she looked at him, the conversation they'd shared.

"Stupid"

Hi hi!!! I hope you enjoyed this one last snippet, just as I was finishing with the edits I remembered some of the original story that I was gonna go with! Yet, I don’t really find the whole plot line of the female character becoming Spider-Man very interesting… I know a lot of yall don’t comment, but if you have been enjoying the story so far and decide that’s something you would like, please let me know! Otherwise I have a few alternatives to it.

[babytarttdoodoo]

The team somehow find out about what Jamie’s dad did in Amsterdam and are horrified/furious.

I’m skipping ahead to write this one because it won’t leave my brain alone. I apologise to all readers for the pain this is about to inflict.

If it makes you feel better, I am not okay after writing it.

It will also be in multiple parts since I really feel like the Reveal and the Reaction are things that need separate room to breathe.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (pending)

(Prompt Fill Masterpost)

—

It came down to the timing, really.

Every locker room Jamie had ever been in had worked its way around to this topic sooner or later. Especially in the Academy, where the typical teenaged obsession with ‘who had done it’ reigned supreme.

Jamie had never had a problem with it. He’d shrugged or laughed or lied and no one ever called him out. He was Jamie Fucking Tartt, after all.

He’d never had to breathe a word about Amsterdam.

Telling Roy had been a spur of the moment decision, and one that hadn’t really bothered him at the time. It hadn’t fundamentally altered their friendship or made Roy tiptoe around him (thank fuck).

But his reaction - Jesus. Must have been traumatising. - had played on Jamie’s mind. So much so that when his talks with Dr Sharon had broached the subject of ‘intimacy’, he thought it was probably worth bringing up.

Yeah. That conversation had gone a bit differently.

And now, here Jamie was, two days into processing his freshly unpacked trauma and his teammates were cheerfully regaling each other with stories about losing their virginity.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

“It was my last night before flying out here.” Sam was telling the group, a sweet, bashful smile on his face.

“Didn’t know you’d had a girlfriend back home.” Isaac chimed in.

“We had already decided to break up, instead of doing the whole long-distance thing,” Sam explained. “It was a nice way to say goodbye, though.”

There was a general sound of agreement and Richard took the opportunity to launch into a questionable story about charming a runway model at the ripe age of 17.

Jamie just continued getting changed in silence, letting the voices wash over him and trying not to let the sudden nausea show on his face. Removing his jersey felt like a Herculean task when all he wanted to do was get the fuck out of here.

Sam’s experience sounded like something out of one of Ted’s rom-coms. That was good. That’s what someone as nice as Sam deserved.

What had Jamie deserved, then?

He quickly cut off that line of thought. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to think about it. Not here. Not now.

It was like trying to cover up an open wound when everyone else had a morbid impulse to poke at it.

A ripple of laughter pulled him back to the room and set his teeth on edge. He pulled a fresh shirt over his head and tried to breathe through the swelling, pulsating anger and shame that threatened to surface.

It was utter bullshit. He hadn’t thought about what had happened with anything more than vague disgust and detachment for years. A whole decade, even. Fuck Dr Sharon and Roy and all these giggling idiots for changing that.

“Oi, you’ve gone quiet, Jamie.”

A few curious eyes turned in his direction and the only thing that stopped him from shrinking away was years of playing at being untouchable.

Instead, Jamie scoffed and plastered on a smile, hiding his fists in his clothes and digging his nails as deep into his palms as they would go. “Eh, a gentleman never tells, mate.”

But he had hesitated a second too long and he saw the potential for mischief light up in a few faces. They knew him too well, he realised, the knowledge churning in his gut.

He wasn’t Jamie Fucking Tartt here. He was just Jamie.

“You are not a gentleman.” Richard stated bluntly, eyebrows raised and a grin playing at the corners of his mouth.

“That is true.” Jan agreed, because of course he fucking did. “You have bragged many times about being with women.”

“What happened, amigo?” It wasn’t fucking fair that Dani sounded so genuinely interested.

“Maybe she didn’t like his pink pants.” Isaac threw in and it drew another round of laughter. The noise echoed in Jamie’s head.

He knew, he knew they were just teasing because they didn’t know better. They were being dickheads because they were always kind of dickheads to each other. It was banter. On any other day it would be fine.

His neon underwear had nearly caused a riot the week before and it had been hilarious.

Why couldn’t he just act like it was funny now?

“It’s none of your fucking business.” he finally managed, not quite keeping the harsh edge out of his tone. He turned away and pretended to be looking for something in his bag so he wouldn’t have to meet anyone’s eyes.

“C’mon, mate, can’t be more embarrassing than mine.” Colin added easily, utterly comfortable with the conversation, in spite of all the implications it had for him specifically. Jamie really fucking admired that.

He was ridiculously, fiercely envious of it.

“Guys, he doesn’t have to talk about it if he doesn’t want to.” Sam admonished lightly. He was offering him a liferaft and it rankled at Jamie in all the wrong ways.

He didn’t need fucking saving. He wasn’t some soft, delicate little thing that needed Sam Obisanya of all people rushing to his rescue.

Suddenly, he was speaking without having made any conscious decision to do so.

“14.” Jamie’s voice was too loud, too sharp in this safe space that on any other day felt like home. But his fingers were clenching and unclenching, and his shoulders were coiled tight, and there was a rushing in his ears.

The vitriol pooled like acid on his tongue and Jamie couldn’t help but spew it out before it began to eat him away.

“I were 14.” He smirked and it felt wrong. It felt cruel and bitter. He rounded on Colin and relished in the flicker of unease that crossed his face. “No fucking idea how old she were but I can tell you how much my dad paid for her to fuck me straight.”

The silence should have been oppressive, he thought distantly. The way the air stilled should have made it hard to breathe. The colour leaching from not just Colin’s face, but Jan’s and Richard’s on either side, should have been concerning.

It just felt freeing, in a twisted, emptying sort of way.

“Jamie-”

“No! No, it’s alright!” Jamie turned wild eyes and a manic grin on Sam, finding it abstractly funny that the younger player took a step back. “You wanted details, right?”

He shrugged, looking around at the slack faces of his teammates. He’d moved forward, he realised, making himself the centre of attention. Typical.

“Tell you what, yeah? Next time we’re in Amsterdam, I’ll take you all on a little tour. Don’t remember her name but I’m pretty sure I could find the place again, no problem.”

And he probably could. He remembered his dad talking to some bloke smoking in a doorway while Jamie stood in the rain, confused. He remembered loud people and neon lights all around. He remembered how the place had smelled when he’d been pulled inside…

Someone else was saying his name now. He didn’t care. He just got louder.

“You wanted a show, didn’t you Thierry? We could put on a repeat performance. Play-by-play reenactment, ‘cept you’ve got to think I can do better now, right? Better with age and all that.”

Arms closed around him from behind and whatever vile shit he was about to spray out into the atmosphere died in his throat. Jamie’s entire body bucked, trying to break away.

“Fuck off!”

It didn’t sound like his voice, a screeching snarl that cracked partway through.

“Jamie.” Roy’s voice in his ear. Roy’s arms around his chest. “Jamie. Stop. Don’t make it worse.”

And what response was there to that except to laugh? Fucking hilarious, that one. Too little too fucking late.

Jamie only registered that he was being half pulled, half carried out of the locker room when the laughter started to hitch in his chest. When the air wasn’t coming like it was supposed to. When Roy manhandled him into an office chair and the tears started in earnest.

All the fight went out of him like a marionette with its strings cut and he just cried.

(TBC)

[balrogballs]

Binged your beautiful writing yesterday after seeing the Eldarion post and I loooove your Maglor so much, but I was curious about your characterizing of Maedhros as a objectively good father especially in the modern AU, where Elrond says “would always find him under every starless sky” abt him not Maglor. Your kidnapfam is so nuanced otherwise, so Elrond being closer to Maedhros feels disjointed or unnatural. Idk, his trauma and actions =/= good parent. No hate, just question

NP I’ll answer in good faith!

Wondering what other fic you refer to since my other Maedhros narratives are set in Valinor and Elrond isn’t really the focus of either? Or are you just referring to the postcolonial one you quoted because in that case yeah the primary emotional thread there is between Maedhros and Elrond, so will answer with that in mind.

under the cut bc my flight got delayed and I used this ask as an excuse to write a whole ass essay so dont want to bore people.

Now you mention discomfort at this portrayal and a part of my intention to write Maedhros in such a way IS to cause discomfort. Now keeping in mind this is a historical AU set exclusively in the context of the British Empire, and the word “terrorist” as used here does not mean the same kind of mass violence as it does today, Elrond’s full sentence from the fragment you quoted is actually:

“His Baba the terrorist, who would always, always find him under every starless sky.”

Violence does not live in a vacuum. Violence and tenderness can and do exist hand in hand, especially when referring to Maedhros in this AU — the first chapter itself makes it clear that his act of “terrorism” was to blow off a policeman’s finger during mass police brutality.

That is why I thought it was important to show him as the more loving one in this fic, even though I’m aware that many fanworks put Maglor in that role — I wanted to unpack the legacy of that act and how it was labelled, which reverberates across decades and continents. Maedhros blew off a British policeman’s finger when they started shooting fleeing women. And the same Maedhros also found two British toddlers, the children of an official high up in the British Raj — and he and his brother took them in.

To quote Maedhros himself from one of my other (canonverse) fics:

"And so it is for cruelty and tenderness: the constant press of cruelty, seeking to erode away those moments with the boys, the tender little life we led. It may have ended in tragedy. I fear, though I don't know, that I may have succumbed to the wrong one. Still, tenderness endured, and as is ordinary in wars of attrition, it softened the edges of our cruelty, a patient defiance wearing down its edges. I am indeed cruel as you judge me, but less so than you think. Neither of us know which claimed victory at the end of the Age, cruelty or kindness. But know, boy, that I bear the marks of both."

I think the whole thing with kidnap fam is that every dynamic between them is entirely fanon — the text gives you close to nothing. So whether or not Maedhros is a “good” father is imo very subjective, because we know nothing other than the boys being taken in.

There are so many ways love can grow, equally many ways interpret its impact on a person. Some interpret him as being completely incapable of tenderness, some interpret it as little kindnesses sprouting from salted earth. And I personally interpret Maedhros here as a man who has a deep, all-encompassing love for his son, who when Elrond was young, knew without words that the child was afraid of the dark, so would quietly lay beside him on starless nights “until the lions and snakes all cowered under his thunderous heartbeat.” All the rest, his anger and resentment and crippling guilt, is foisted upon him by cruel circumstance.

I think that’s what I wanted to make clear. Maedhros in this AU is furious, hotheaded, traumatised, prone to violence against authority, is quite literally a flagellant. He is also Elrond’s Baba, “who would always, always find him under every starless sky”.

Hope this helps! Also honestly if you’re not cool or are uncomfortable with Maedhros being written in this way you genuinely don’t have to read it haha, because as I said above, his and Elrond’s relationship — in all its messiness, gaps, incoherencies — is the primary focal point across the story and is what connects all the disparate narratives together.

I love writing him as tender! I love writing a Maedhros whose innate and incredible capacity for love is constantly worn down by the world, yet still finds a way to exist.