#yea its still me working to get better! i just have different things going on here that isnt just me!

[x-crowmancer-x]

The Body, The Brain, and Me!

Explained to a friend recently how I see myself in three parts: body, brain, myself (soul?)

The Body is also the flesh mech that The Brain and I pilot. They can pass on feelings to the brain but cannot speak words so theres a bit of a communication issue. Sometimes The Brain is being so loud that The Body ends up being ignored. They would definitely roll their eyes when Brain and I ask why we're miserable bc they tried to let us know we havent eaten all day. They can also contribute to Brain's panic mode, leading us to think a simple headache is a sign The Brain is dying, which worsens the panic.

The Brain is in charge of emotions and sometimes makes too many panic chemicals or has a phrase set on repeat for hours (crazy? I was crazy once... they put me in a-). The Brain often jumps to conclusions too quickly and we need to work out the steps to make it make more sense. One time we were convinced we were allergic to strawberries while eating strawberries. At night he likes when we talk about our day and sorta catalogue events. Sometimes The Brain does this thing where it'll feel like a live hive of bees has made its home in our thought process. Classic and very loud, the Brain Bees. We dont know if Brain Soup is better or worse.

Either one is preferable as long as it isnt a 'Leave Your Body Lemonade' bad time.

Me. Is.... ME! We dont really know what I am? Starstuff? Energy? A spirit? Who knows! I know the things I like, dislike, love and obsess over, what things I've experienced and can recall, the feelings I've had, the scrapes and bruises throughout life, the morals I choose to abide by. There may not be another ME in the entirety of the Universe, and we'll never know otherwise, but I really like being here. I think animals and plants and people are really neat to experience :) I'd like to think of myself as very fluid. As more of an experience than material being? When unsure of a label, a silly funny little space clown guy always works!

All together, we're a bit of a mess, but I want to reassure my co-pilots that it'll be okay and that life is still great and not bad all the time cuz... animals are really cool! They're so cool and we get to be around them!!! Like snakes!!!! They're so cute!!!!!

Dont take this as seprate entities, they're all me, just different departments of a mall??

[brisquad-unit-4402]

luxiem as bad sex

don’t worry about it this is mostly for the lolz. might fuck around and do this for other livers next time i feel restless. make sure to properly communicate with your partner

tags: gender neutral reader, established relationship, smut, humor/crack, chatfic in shu’s entry, public sex, uki violeta cameo, cheating/ntr mention, just imagine the baldur’s gate 3 scene with the luxiem guy of your choice you know what i’m talking about

⚠️ nsfw under the cut. content not intended for minors.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

🖋 Ike Eveland: anatomy

there is a chance that, when you sleep with ike, despite his title, it’s his first time.

25% chance says that he fully does not know what he’s doing, and asks you for a full-blown tutorial on how to stick part a into part b.

25% chance says that he fully does not know what he’s doing but he doesn’t even admit to it. it’s a lot of trial and error and insistence that no, don’t worry, i got this when he very clearly does not.

25% chance that, for the first time in his life, eroge has come in clutch. he understands! kind of. it’s more like as he penetrates you he tries to compare your sounds to the moans of eroge characters. the more you sound like a hentai protagonist the better. it’s also worth noting he pumps into you to the beat of a huniepop song that worked its way into his head while he was trying to figure out what’s a good or bad sound.

and finally 25% chance that it’s just fine.

but let it be known that he 100% does not know how to find the clit. barely knows how to find the prostate either. ike won’t admit to either of these things

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🦁 Luca Kaneshiro: openness

never let it be said luca is solitary. he’s social and likes to explore different spaces. it means dates happen often, and so does getting dragged off to give him head in public.

this would be fine if it was a bathroom stall. you know, the standard couple spots. what you didn’t expect was in a fairly open alley. or an amusement park ride with automatic souvenir pictures. or on the shady side of a beach full of people.

hell, even when you get into a changing room while shopping there’s still a risk. he’s gotten you to jack him off while wearing not-yet-purchased jeans more than once and as exciting as it was you have no clue what happened to the poor retail workers that had to find them hanging on the return-to-hanger rack.

at home he leaves doors open since it’s just the two of you, including when he goes down on you. he leaves them open when there’s guests, too, and guides you into your bedroom when he needs a break from talking to people. the doors are still open. you’re a master at being quiet but sometimes his puppy wanders around looking for his owner, and…

(side note: not about sex but i just know he would leave the door open or walk in on you using the bathroom and that terrifies me)

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

👟 Shu Yamino: attentiveness

Me: hey

Me: hey

Me: are you awake??

taro_twink: abt to sleep

taro_twink: what do you want shu

Me: idk c:

taro_twink: so you blew up my phone??? bitch??

Me: fjakajsjsldj i wanted to talk to my friend!

taro_twink: wish granted

taro_twink: wyd?

Me: reader

taro_twink: don’t text on a date

Me: we’re at home

taro_twink: go spend time with reader then ffs

Me: i am

Me: reader feels really nice c:

taro_twink: wait

Me: and i like making reader say my name too

taro_twink: SHSKDKLSJA

taro_twink: WHAT FHE FUXK

taro_twink: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TEXTINF ME RIFHT NOW

taro_twink: SHU YAMINO WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

Me: dw reader hasn’t noticed my phone yet

taro_twink: THIS ISNT ABOUT READER ITS ABOUT ME

Me: my phone is by the pillow so it’s hard to see

taro_twink: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TEXTING WHILE SCREWING SOMEONE????????????

Me: yea :homiekiss:

taro_twink: you are fucked up and i’m going to bed

taro_twink: so done with you jfc

taro_twink: gn

taro_twink: bye

taro_twink: if you say anything else i’m blocking your number

Me: you’re no fun

taro_twink: you are literally texting me while you’re doing your partner i don’t want to hear it

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

👹 Vox Akuma: names

vox is noisy. delightfully so. it’s easy to communicate with him because he’s unconsciously vocal whenever he likes something.

these sounds, however, are usually limited to grunts, moans and cries. all well and good, but when things get more intense, he’s more inclined to scream your name.

and when his dick is in your mouth he can’t think straight, in the worst way.

this is just to say that even when you’re not roleplaying, he’s cried out a lot of names that aren’t yours. usually celebrities or fictional characters. you’ve lost count of how many tall/dark/handsome guys with long hair he’s cum to, or sassy women. hell, his celebrity crushes don’t even look like you.

if you have cheating fantasies this is excellent. if you have ntr fantasies, excellent as well. what isn’t excellent, however, is how last time you poured wax on him while fucking him from behind, he buried his face into the pillow and whimpered out your coworker’s name.

he was very lucky you didn’t have more wax to splash him with

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi

[yumespooki]

☆Why Gregor is so important than you think and the series' relationship with tone

Im obsessed with an old man and I have all reasons to be also I have to sleep but I really need to make a colleague of gregor photos as the header image-

◇Part 1 - How The Tonal Shifts happen to be

Episodes 1 to 3 was all silly fun, though we have the idea that the series is gonna have a progression to having a consistent plot and story since Episode 2 setting up the episode formula of events/segments:

Skid and Pump doing mischief around town, there's separate segments of major characters that they come across and the villain that sets up the plot - who are in concept supposed to be parodies of horror villain stereotypes.

And its all fitting in Pelo's style except its actually understandable and not have characters turn cartoonishly eldritch every 2 seconds.

Yknow we got SM 1 was an average pelo video then SM 2 is where we got the formula, everyone were just trope templates and the one that sets up the lore

SM3 is where things get normal but it's still silly, you can tell by the soundtrack, Moloch's theme is on dubstep it bangs BUT also introduces the Episode ending set up for its next villain.

Then SM4 happened. Oh Deadly Smiles my beloved, still my personal favorite

This where the good shit happens with different segments under 20+ minutes with finally having a grasp on how the episode formula works

Though this episode is kinda.. the chillest one among the episodes???

Everytime Skid and Pump goes around town with Spooky Swings playing, it's always fast paced and they immediatly go to the next in a few seconds but in Deadly Smiles, they take long stops before going to their next location. Most Characters also spend most of if not any of their screentime without Skid and Pump in it. [especially Kevin] it has its own unique tone and its cozy solely for it being winter themed.

Other than the more chill pacing, You got the rabid doll running place to place and getting thrown around to people to people to show what hes suppose to parody that when Dexter actually shows that he can be a threat is a really effective moment and really got me going "Oh shit OH SHIT"

But the scene that truly shaped Spooky Month the way it is now is the scene where he snaps at the kids, that moment is so important to the series because of the sudden change of tone to spooky/silly to scary. We couldn't see Dexter as a threat before this because the tone and plot prevents him to be one especially to poke out the trope of Doll killers but at this moment, the moment he expresses his situation and conditions, he went specific. and from there you don't see Dexter as a simple parody for the sake of being a parody anymore, Especially being a parody based on Chucky --who uses dolls on his advantage-- but For Dexter, below the surface is a man doomed from the circumstances that he desperately wanna get out of.

Episode 5 immediatly tells you its meant be atleast scary from the get-go since it was already established seconds into the episode, and only in the last minute with Lila it left us with an ominous note

Ok to be for real, I consider Episode 5 kinda standard compared to Ep 4 and 6 but is more better than the early 3 eps and I appreciate as the middle ground between Deadly Smiles and Hollow Sorrows. And also more cop screentime my luvs

And mainly the reason why I said this because of Bob. The villains of Spooky Month is always tied with the tone because they are the guys that bring the tension. Bob's kinda monotonic because his behaviour pattern in this episode is repetitive: He slowly approaches people, give them meat fact, dosent or fails to kill them, gets slapped with slapstick. Even at the climax where he's actually at his most effective by being actually terrifying, he still gets disrupted for comedic purposes.

He has a balance of being actually terrifying and being a parody by his slow movement trying to set up tension.

Incomparison to Dexter, yea he gets thrown around but they get to take him seriously at the right moment and being thrown around to different people showing this disadvantage will show you the wide range of what the characters will do with the doll, Bob just scares them throughout the episode.

And I can't be mad about it because Bob purposefully is doing that to distract the cops from the cult case especially thinking he can't die.

But Bob is still effective as a villain. He manages to get you on edge and also opens questions to more lore stuff. And this episode is also the most creepiest because of Bob's behaviour along with that Lila encountering him along with finding out he's in her photo book probably shaped Lila to her behaviour in episode 6.

Still a good ep. Alot of insight of other characters' lives is my main highlight of this ep

Then Episode 6 has Father Gregor finally established as a proper character now that's where the interesting THING starts;

◇Chapter 2: Why is he weird in a weird show

When Father Gregor is on screen, do you feel.. put off especially when he's first introduced into the episode? Like when we were first introduced to doll Dexter with actual spinechilling ost and visuals we were already accustomed to this to be something expected through the Newgrounds endings with its ominous tone, expecting to transition it to the main story especially in with Tender Treats being almost that except more heightened.

But with Gregor, I don't have the exact words to explain the tonal dissonance he gives us. He has a very clear leimotif soundtrack throughout the episode everytime he's on screen even disrupting themes of other characters or locations [like the candy club like what the fuck gregor excuse yourself] that it even turns to a more epic variation of itself with Moloch's exorcism.

since this guy has seconds of screentime on his 1st debut,he's unpredictable especially when each episode has a formula of events with characters that we are familiar off. and we know that there is atleast something goofy going on with them - except for the cops but for them they act silently or accompany moments with the characters - But Gregor dosent accompany character moments he's the goddamn spotlight, the emphasis on his scenes are on HIM like out of nowhere we got this guy coming along. Its kinda of a new breathe of air to have him around because we never got anyone else to come along with the Spookeez all around town and setting up their dynamic with the kids.

Oh and finally we simply state the whole point of Gregor and why he's so out of place -- his seriousness. He was never associated with the series' shenanigans, and questions his surroundings. He dosent enable himself with the series' comedy and at somepoint that it tries to bring him along for a second with the spooky dance. Hes not only unfamiliar in story wise but by environment wise. there was a little analysis essay I made a while back with how Gregor as a person in the setting is off to the townsfolk as they are mostly unfamiliar with Religious figures as the church was newly built, and everybody else never acknowledges his presence as a priest — Kevin and Frank calls him an old guy/man Radford dosent take him seriously because he mostly seen priests through movies, Jack has to ask if Gregor is one and Skid and Pump dosent know how the term father works in the church that even tells something. Only a few characters recognizes his role as a priest being Michelle, John, and Evermore.

Now let's move onto Gregor not following the goddamn script of being part of a parody

Ep 6 has the basics of a parody of exorcism movies: demon - check, priest - check, the victim check that's your main elements, but they never utilises these as.. parodies, because when one of the core elements acts like a normal guy and has a standard behaviour of a priest in those kinds of movies that wasnt exagerrated for the parody and has never been that early into the series to being so associated with the silliness of it making fun of horror. We had time with Moloch since Episode 1, 2 and 3 We witness his time from being just a gimmick character to being one of the mysteries and coming back as a serious threat.. or is he? Because on the 2nd half of the episode, Moloch's running away from Gregor, and attempts to fight back by trying to possess anyone on his way but in the end Moloch is defeated and the kids seeing this breaks their relationship with Gregor. At this point he himself is also an antagonist.

With Gregor breaking the law of parodies, and also breaking the traditional set up of villains for this series, he also differs alot of the standard priest character that he's supposed to be because usually those characters cannot exist outside of being the guy battling the supernatural forces—they are not the main focus. With Gregor, he's more than just an exorcist as for the most part we see him as a normal priest first, exorcist second. he's so determined in his job that any threat given to him makes him more motivated and half of the episode he spends his time teaching the kids to behave.

◇<Gregor and Tension>◇

We already established Gregor as a villain so what else is weird about this bald fuck

From Episode 4 we now get ourselves a consistent line of villains with Dexter being a strong start with the earlier mentioned being the guy responsible for the main story's tonal whiplash

Dexter, Moloch and Bob are villains with their main thing and concept as something terrifying — Dexter's an insane doll, Bob's a cannibal butcher and Moloch's a child eating demon who gives terrible side effects at something he possessed dead or alive.

Horror villains always relied in creating tension to make anyone scared. Dexter creates tension with his uncanny presence as a doll, along with his fast movements contrasting this with Bob, being slow and uses psychological intimidation than being fast, and watches his victims reacting to the situation their put into. Then for Moloch, he is tied with Gregor because how he creates tension is in complimentary with him.

The scary thing about Moloch comes from the ARGs mostly since that's where they build him up as a serious thing to handle in the series after Episode 3, but unfortunately for him as his debut as a serious threat has to be shared with just a dude

OK Moloch's scenes relies on a psychological effect because of his ability to possess people which he possess characters we seen before and are individuals. If you think about Dexter, we saw him killed off for a fucking joke then proceeds to be a threat for a whole episode by the result of his decreasing sanity of being stuck inside a doll. then you realize he's also someone's son. Both got killed by Moloch and used their images as his best attempt to manipulate Gregor which only angers him and makes him more determined to finish him off. Even psychological moves dosent work on him. Now at that point, Moloch lost the hold of the tension's weight. Rather than heightening a terrifying scene like a typical spiritual fight scene, Gregor steals it and heightens it by what made him unnatural since the start – he's constant seriousness that defies the the overall tone that it becomes a keypoint from the episode onwards, making Moloch run away.

Their last confrontation has Gregor on the upper hand with a successful exorcism and a banger of an ost that I still think about to this day, and it was never something to replicate horror. They were no terrific aftermath or a good ending, only the tears of children that comes after it, a dislikeness to the religious figure, and an awareness to how the series' main thing of silliness and chaos was all from an unsupervised kid and a bit carefree mother.

◇Chapter 3: the old man has a hold on the narrative

At the start of Episode 6, We were dismissed with a moment with Skid and Lila, about her situation arranging the house and Skid's Dad with her distracting Skid to go play with Pump. We know somethings off but this was already delivered from the ending of Episode 5.

Gregor states himself at the start as a guide to the children to reflect and be better, but how he delivers this wasn't clear to Skid and Pump and goes around apologising with no single thought other than this being important to their parents. The episode's main point was because of Father Gregor assisting the kids.

then the second that they got the parent thing shoved to their faces is with the cops, also one of the more grounded characters in the series but again they enable the goofiness of the series especially with Jack and his lowkey high kill count- Now that's when the themes of family are very stressed with the whole thing now about to ingrain in Skid and Pump's head.

Now to the scene where Skid and Pump cries for Moloch and now hates Gregor. It's all on him – he leaves without the need of approval but get his message and judgements clear. As he leaves the main cast and onto the church, he's finally at his most vulnerable. the tension spotlight is not on him anymore and has no control of the atmosphere as the Cult comes into the scene.

But what he does have control of was the effect he gave on the kids as his message of apologising and reflecting was the episode's ending note. Not only that, We got the tonal shift to scary, serious to bawling our tears out?? It was implied throughout the episode that the themes of family, especially broken ones are strong and the last scene of Skid apologising and hugging his mom was the perfect completion to build all of that. Not only the tension between Moloch, and Gregor is there the other important thing was the emotional tension.

This signals that Gregor's presence was such an impact that it still lingers, like the piano at the last scene that he's always accompanied with in the soundtrack. in the end it shaped the kids that gives a significant emotional weight into the narrative from now on.

And what do we do now if Skid and Pump finally reflected?? Will things change? Will they not go out and do havoc anymore? Will things lose the general comedic feel to something more serious? We don't know

But it's all really thanks to Father Gregor Raguel.

Conclusion:

Tldr: Gregor is so odd to the show because of how serious he is that it extends to him breaking in series and horror traditions to the fucking narrative of making the series have some emotional weight

[merrybloomwrites]

I Hear Them Calling (Chapter 4)

Story Summary: Alpha Harry Styles and omega Y/N Y/L/N meet under less than ideal circumstances. Overtime their paths will cross and they will be drawn to one another in ways they never expected.

Chapter Summary: After battling the symptoms of touch deprivation for weeks, Y/N sees Harry again in Chicago and he helps her deal with the worst of it.

Previous Chapters: Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3

Word Count: 4.9k

Y/N POV

“You haven’t had a nightmare in 4 days?” Rachel asks.

“Nope!” You reply happily, taking a sip of your iced caramel latte. You and Rachel both have a free afternoon and decided to meet at a local cafe. You feel so much better than you had for the last few weeks that you felt confident to order a different drink. No tea that reminds you of Sarah, no hot chocolate that makes you think of Harry.

“And you’re not using those coping mechanisms you mentioned?”

“Haven’t needed them in days.”

“And you’re still not going to tell me what they were?” You blush at this question, embarrassed by the truth.

“No, that secret may come with me to the grave,” you joke.

Rachel looks at you, slightly worried and says, “It was safe right? You weren’t like, drugging yourself to sleep were you?”

“Oh God no!” You reply with a laugh. “Nothing like that, I swear.” Though you think to yourself that Harry’s scent in its direct form would probably be so delicious that it would act like a drug to you.

“Okay, I trust you,” Rachel says. “So, have you heard from Harry?”

You sigh, slightly disappointed by the answer you have to give. “Not since the night of the concert. I’m sure he’s been busy.”

“Maybe you should text him first.”

“And maybe you are out of your mind. No way. And before you say anything, it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm the girl or he’s the alpha or any of that sexist bullshit. It has everything to do with the fact that he’s Harry Styles.” You whisper the last part, aware that you’re in public and anyone around could hear the conversation.

“So what if he’s Harry Styles?”

“What would I even text him?”

“You could start with ‘Hi, how are you?’”

“Very funny. I mean, I guess I could. Maybe. I’ll give it a couple more days.”

“Waiting for him to leave the area?”

“Something like that,” you reply.

“Speaking of procrastinating things,” Rachel says teasingly, “have you called your doctor yet? To find out why that alpha knew you’re an omega even though you’re on suppressants and scent blockers?”

“Okay, that I did not procrastinate on. I called her but I can’t get an appointment until November.”

“Seriously?”

“Yea. I mean there aren’t a lot of doctors who specialize in omegas, so they’re always booked. Anyway, she said that my body has probably just developed a resistance to the pills. She’ll try to change my regimen after the appointment and told me to use the spray on neutralizers until then.”

“That sucks.”

“It does. I am so not looking forward to changing meds. It takes awhile to find the right combo and then there’ll be all new side effects. But it’ll be worth it.”

“I wish omegas didn’t have to hide who they are.”

“Me too. But that’s just how it is now.”

From there the conversation turns to lighter topics until you part ways to continue your day.

Another week passes and you still haven’t heard from Harry. On top of that the bad dreams come back, along with the restlessness, and chills. You’ve started using the old coping mechanisms again, which barely work this time around.

The morning after his final show in New York City, your social media is flooded with videos of him receiving his banner at Madison Square Garden. If there was any time to reach out to him, now was it. He said he wanted to be friends, right? A friend would absolutely congratulate him on this achievement.

It still takes you forever to type out the message, and ever longer to find the courage to press send. It’s nearly noon by the time you text Harry, “Congrats on the banner!”

It’s a simple sentence, just four words, and you still find a way to overthink everything for the two hours it takes Harry to reply. You’re taking a walk, grateful once again that you work on your own schedule and can take a break when you need one. And right now, you need one. Because you texted a celebrity and he still hasn’t answered and you for sure made a complete fool of yourself.

You stop dead in your tracks when your phone buzzes and Harry’s name appears on your screen.

From Harry Styles: Thank you! Can’t believe I got such an honor. How are you? What are you up to?

There’s a bench nearby and you sit to reread his message five times before replying.

To Harry Styles: You deserve it! I’m good, just out for a walk. How about you?

The next message comes in much faster.

From Harry Styles: I’ve been doing well. Took it easy this morning, currently enroute to Texas for the next shows.

You can’t help but feel disappointed that he’s no longer just a city away. You know it’s silly, but it was nice that he was so close by.

To Harry Styles: Enjoy Texas!

From Harry Styles: Thank you! Have you ever been?

To Harry Styles: Once, in college. Went to San Antonio with some friends.

From Harry Styles: That’s a great city, love the river walk there!

And so, you and Harry Styes became friends who text each other about random things. You talk throughout his flight to Texas, and sporadically over the next couple of weeks. It never gets very deep, all surface level conversations, but it’s nice. You feel like you’re getting to know the real him, and he’s getting to know who you are as well.

The texts from Harry are the high points. The low points are, unfortunately, very low. The hot chocolate, and roses, and forest smelling candles are no longer helping you. Bad dreams happen almost every night, you’re constantly cold, and there’s an itch under your skin that just won’t go away. The voice in the back of your brain is telling you it’s touch deprivation, but you refuse to admit that to yourself. You’ve never needed an alpha, and you refuse to depend on one now. So no, you do NOT have touch deprivation.

You’re checking your email, and you see that there are still spots open for a job training opportunity in Chicago. You rarely go to these, but it’s been a while, and you think maybe it would be good to go. There are always new types of data software, and you found the last two training courses you attended to be pretty informative.

Looking at the dates you notice the course is the following Thursday and Friday. In Chicago. You also notice that Harry will be doing shows there at the same time. You don’t admit that’s what seals the deal for you, but it totally is.

After registering and setting up your flight and hotel reservation you send a text to Harry. You casually mention that you’ll be in Chicago the following weekend. You’re surprised when your phone starts to ring, and Harry’s name is on the screen.

You answer the phone and he’s first to speak, saying, “You’re gonna be in Chicago?”

“I am!” you reply, matching his excitement.

“Can you come to my shows?”

“Which days are they again?” You ask this to try and seem like less of a stalker.

“I’ve got one Thursday, Friday and Saturday. You’re welcome to come to as many of those as you want,” he answers.

“I think Thursday is an all-day thing, so I won’t be able to come to that one. The training ends with dinner on Friday evening so I think I could make it just in time for the concert.”

“Ok great, and Saturday?”

“I am free all-day Saturday. My flight back home is Sunday afternoon.”

“Wonderful. I’ll have tickets for you for those two shows. That is, if you want to come of course.”

“Harry, I absolutely want to come.”

“Then the tickets are yours. All the details will come from Jada. I’d be a mess without that girl.”

“You paying her well?” you ask jokingly.

“She’s compensated handsomely, I promise,” he replies with a laugh.

“Happy to hear it.”

“I uhm- it sounds like you won’t be able to come before the show Friday, correct?”

“Unfortunately, no. I’ll probably get there right before you go on.”

“Forgive me if this sounds forward, but would you want to hang out after? It would have to be at the hotel, I can’t really be out in the city after a concert.”

“Totally understand that. And yea, I’d love to hang out after.”

“Great! I’m staying at the Nobu Hotel.”

You quickly look it up and see that your hotel is close by.

“No way!” you reply. “I’m at the Crowne Plaza like, two blocks away.”

“Well, that’s convenient. I’ll make sure there’s a car to take you to Nobu after the show Friday if that works for you?”

“Yea that would be great. I’d love to hang out!” You cringe, hoping that didn’t come off too strong.

“I’d love to hang out as well. Listen I have to go to sound check for tonight’s show. I’ll text you soon. And look out for the email from Jada, it’ll have all the info you need.”

***

Harry POV

“You’re extra happy today,” Elin says as Harry bounces around the venue smiling so big that both dimples are showing.

“I am!” He replies. “Thanks for noticing!”

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Sarah asks. “Because it’s definitely not how this sound check is going.” She has a point there. No less than a dozen things have gone wrong since they started, leading them to take a break while the sound techs work out a few problems.

“Just talked to a friend who will be in town next week.”

“Oh I see,” Mitch says. “So Y/N will be here?”

“Yes, and she’ll be coming to the shows Friday and Saturday. I can’t wait to see her!”

“Aw, someone’s got a crush,” Pauli says.

Harry ignores the teasing from his band members and says, “Honestly I’ve been a bit worried about her. I’ve just had this feeling that keeps getting worse.”

“Why do you think it has to do with Y/N?” NyOh asks.

“I mean, I don’t know for sure. But we’ve talked on the phone a couple times, and she always sounds exhausted.”

“I’m sure she’s alright,” Sarah says reassuringly.

“I know, I just can’t help it.”

“I completely get that,” Sarah replies softly, looking towards her mate.

“Fixed it!” One of the sound techs calls out, effectively cutting off the conversation as Harry and the band get back to work.

***

Y/N POV

The next week passes in what feels like slow motion. Every hour drags on. Your apartment building hasn’t switched from air conditioning to heat yet, so you’re constantly wearing layers of warm clothes and burrowing under blankets. The itch under your skin only gets worse, spreading to new areas each day until there’s a maddening tingle throughout your whole body.

Amelia drops you off at the airport Wednesday afternoon. You know she can tell that something is wrong, but you don’t offer an explanation, so she doesn’t pry for details.

You put on your mask before walking into the terminal. It’s a habit leftover from the pandemic, and also a great way to block out the potential strange scents. Alphas and omegas might be rare, but there’s always a chance a few will be around in such a crowded place. You’re extra sensitive to smells at the moment due to the touch deprivation that you’ve finally admitted you have. But it’s mild. Totally manageable. Not a problem.

The plane ride and subsequent train trip and walk to the hotel is exhausting. You stop and grab some food on the way. After checking in you immediately eat your quick meal, take a hot shower, and crawl into bed.

You’re almost asleep when your phone digs with an incoming text. You’ve already texted your family and friends letting them know you’re at the hotel, so you’re annoyed that someone is interrupting your sleep.

That is, until you see who the message is from. Harry’s name pops up with a text asking if you made it safely to Chicago. You practically melt at how sweet it is that he’s checking in on you. You send a quick reply before immediately falling asleep.

The first day of the training session is typical- informative, but boring. Harry’s show is still going when you get back to the hotel, so you watch on a livestream. You’re still exhausted and fall asleep before it’s over.

Waking up the next morning is difficult. Your body feels heavy, like your bones are filled with lead. The chills seem worse than ever and you’re grateful you packed yourself a heavy sweater to wear that day. Not only is it warm, but it covers up the marks from where you’ve been scratching at the skin on your arms due to the incessant itching.

You have trouble concentrating on the training throughout the day. There was one alpha there, and he was somehow in every single session you attended. He didn’t have a bad scent per se, but his presence alone became overwhelming.

By the time the sessions are over, you feel exhausted. You debate skipping dinner altogether but know you at least need some food before you can start your walk to the United Center. The alpha, whose name you’ve learned is Andy, sits next to you at dinner. He seems nice enough, you don’t feel threatened by him, but you still want to finish dinner and get away from him as quickly as possible.

Once dessert is over you grab your bag, ready to escape. Andy stops you before you go, asking for your number. Without thinking you quickly say, “I have a boyfriend,” and hastily leave the restaurant.

You’re not far from the venue, only a few blocks away, and you’re so out of it that you barely notice where your legs are taking you. It only takes fifteen minutes to get there, but you’re on edge the whole time. Glancing at your watch you see that it’s just before 8PM, meaning Harry should still be backstage.

You’re tired, and dizzy, and a little fuzzy, but knowing you’re so close to seeing Harry again has you moving faster than you thought possible. You’ve even built up a slight sweat, and you feel warm for the first time in weeks causing you to roll up the sleeves of your sweater.

As you approach the building you hear your name being called. You turn to see Jada running up to you.

 “I didn’t think you’d be here so early! Glad I was talking to one of the security guards, you walked right past the entrance,” she says.

You smile as she hands you your VIP badge and leads you inside.

“Harry has a few minutes before he needs to finish getting ready. He’ll be glad you made it before he goes on, I know he’s been dying to see you,” Jada says, causing you to blush.

“Well, I can’t wait to see him either,” you reply.

She knocks on a door which opens a second later. The first person you see is Mitch, who gives you a hug as he says, “Hey kid, good to see you again.”

“You too!” you answer, somewhat surprised by the warm greeting.

Sarah’s there too, pulling you in to a hug next. The moment her arms wrap around your shoulders, you’re overcome with a wave of dizziness. Black spots flash in your vision and you blink rapidly to try and clear them.

“You okay, love?” she asks as she lets go and takes a step back.

After a couple deep breaths you answer, “I’m good. Practically ran here from dinner, still catching my breath I guess.”

Harry, who’s been quietly watching you quickly walks to the fridge and grabs a water bottle. You reach out your hand so he can pass it to you, and see his eyes focus on your arm. There’s no way he missed the angry red scratch marks there, but you immediately pull your sleeves back down to hide them anyway.

“Can we have a moment?” Harry asks, causing Mitch, Sarah, and Jada to promptly exit and close the door behind them. He motions to the couch, and you’re reminded of the last time the two of you were in his dressing room together.

Like the last time, you sit next to each other, but he seems to be giving you more space. This confuses you. If he’s so excited to see you, why didn’t he greet you with a hug like everyone else? And why is he so far away now? And why does he seem so serious instead of happy?

“Y/N, I have a question, and it’s kind of personal, but I’d like you to answer honestly,” he starts.

“Okay,” you reply, taken aback by this turn of events.

He’s quiet for a moment, seeming to think of exactly what he wants to ask. Finally, he settles on, “Where did those scratches come from?”

“My arms were itchy,” you reply. Not a lie, though probably not the full truth he’s looking for.

“And the dizziness? Cause I don’t think it was from your walk. You seemed fine until Sarah touched you. Until an alpha touched you.”

You know what he’s getting at. He’s no dummy. Just minutes after seeing you he’s figured out what you’ve been hiding for weeks. Hiding from everyone, including yourself.

He watches you, and you know he’s waiting for an answer. But you can’t think of one to give him. So, he continues, “Y/N, I think you have touch deprivation. Is that fair to say?”

You let out a shuddery breath and nod. “Yea, that’s fair to say.”

“It seems pretty severe.”

You finally decide to open up, saying, “It’s been getting worse the past couple weeks. I don’t think my meds are working anymore, and the soonest doctors appointment I could get still isn’t for a couple weeks.”

“I’m worried you’re close to a drop. Like, any minute now. Or that you’ll go under if I touch you. You realize that you were close with Sarah, right? That if you’d stayed in contact with her, or if she’d released any pheromones you’d be in a full drop right now?”

Part of you wants to snark back, yell at him for going full alpha male and acting like he knows your body better than you. But the problem is, he’s right. It’s been so long since the last time you dropped that you forgot what it’s like. You forgot what the signs are.

But now that he’s pointed out the obvious, you really start to feel it. He sees as you deflate, starting to fold in on yourself. His hand reaches out, wanting to comfort you in some way, but he can’t. He can’t risk sending you into a drop, not when he has a show to do in just twenty minutes.

“You’re right,” you finally say. “I didn’t realize it. I thought I was handling it, that I could make it to my doctor’s visit and get new soothers and I’d be okay. I just don’t know what to do if I don’t have meds that work.”

“I’d like to help you, if you’ll let me.”

You finally meet his eyes and see that he’s completely serious.

After a moment you nod and reply, “Okay.”

“Okay? You’ll let me help?”

“Yes. I don’t know what else to do. And uhm, I trust you. You’re a good person, Harry. A good alpha.”

He smiles at your words before glancing at the clock and saying, “I have to finish getting ready in a minute. I’d still like to hang out after the concert. I think it might be healthy for you to do a drop with me there, if you’re comfortable with that?”

“I mean, I don’t like dropping. It’s only happened to me twice before and I was alone each time, so they weren’t good experiences. But maybe it will be different if you’re there?”

“I can help you through it, if you’ll let me.”

“What would you do to help? Like, how do alphas help omegas through that?”

“It depends on what you consent to but ah, I would hold you, help you get the touch your omega needs. Most alphas will scent the omega. It lets them know that they’re not alone, that someone is there protecting them, keeping them safe while they can’t do so themselves. I’d also release calming pheromones to keep your omega relaxed.”

“Okay. I’m okay with all of that. I’d like that,” you answer. Truthfully you’re a bit nervous. Harry Styles has just offered to hold you, to scent you for goodness sakes. That’s incredibly intimate. But you’ve felt so awful for weeks, and there are still weeks to go before you can get new soothers. And this is kind of a dream come true.

“Do you want to stay here for the concert? You can hang in here or go to the VIP box. Or you can head to the hotel now and take it easy if you’d like,” he says.

“I’ll stay in here if that’s alright,” you reply.

“It’s more than alright,” he answers. “And if at any point you want to get out of here just text Jada. She can arrange a ride back to my hotel and I’ll meet you there after the show. Or if you change your mind she can get you a ride back to your hotel too.”

“Thank you, Harry. For everything.”

“Of course. I know I don’t know you all that well, but I care about you. Anyway, I uhm, need to get dressed so I’m just gonna step into the bathroom for a moment.”

“I can go in the hall for a minute, get out of your way-”

“Nonsense. You’re not in the way. I’ll be right back.”

Harry finishes getting ready, and you make yourself comfortable on the couch. A couple of people come in, touching up his hair and make-up and before you know it he’s heading to the stage.

You watch on the screen in the room for the first few songs. After a while Jada joins you and you ask if you can watch from the VIP section for a bit. It goes well until Harry and the band take a break. You’d been so focused on the music that you were distracted from everything else around you.

But now all you can hear are all the other people, and it’s overwhelming. It becomes difficult to breathe, and you start to see dark spots once again.

You turn to Jada, and she immediately leads you back to the dressing room.

“Do you want to wait for Harry, or do you want to leave now?” she asks.

“I think I should go,” you reply.

“To your hotel, or his?”

“Harry’s, please.”

“Okay, wait here, I’ll get the car and come back for you in a minute.”

You sit back on the couch, seeking out Harry’s scent to calm you, but it’s barely noticeable.

Jada comes back and you follow her to the car. It’s a quiet ride to the hotel, and once there, she goes with you to the suite.

His room is on the top floor. It’s big, basically a full apartment, and you stay in what seems to be the living room. Jada sits on the couch with you, and you say, “I feel like you have more important things to do than babysit me.”

She laughs and says, “It’s not babysitting. I like hanging out with you. And you’re a priority to Harry. Which makes you a priority to me.”

The two of you lapse into a comfortable silence for a while until Jada’s phone buzzes. “Shows over,” she says. “Harry’s just getting changed and then he’ll be here soon. He said you can borrow some of his clothes if you want to get comfy.”

You hesitate and she adds, “I have no problem going through his stuff. I can grab you some clothes if you want.” You laugh at that and nod.

A short while later you’ve changed into a pair of Harry’s sweatpants, as well as a t-shirt and hoodie. They smell like him, and you shamelessly inhale the scent you’ve been craving for weeks. The suite door opens, and Harry walks in, looking incredibly cozy in his own pair of sweats.

“Thank you, Jada,” he says. “Get some rest, you’ve earned it.”

“Night guys,” she says as she leaves the room.

You’re left alone with Harry. It feels different, here in his hotel room, surrounded by his belongings, while you’re wearing his clothes.

“You left early,” he says.

“Sorry,” you reply.

“Don’t be. I’m just worried as to why you left.”

“I was just overwhelmed. Needed some quiet.”

“I understand. Y/N, are you ready for this? You still seem on the edge of a drop.”

“I’m ready.”

“And have you changed your mind about anything? Or is it okay if I hold and scent you through this?”

You pause for a moment, scared at how vulnerable you’re about to be. “I haven’t changed my mind. I want you to do that. I trust you.”

He takes a step towards you. “Thank you, for trusting me. We’ll probably be more comfortable in the bed.”

“Lead the way,” you say.

It’s awkward at first, the two of you sitting next to each other in his bed, backs resting against the headboard.

He turns to you and says, “Can I hold you now?”

You nod, and his arms wrap around you, pulling you until you’re tucked under his chin and resting against his chest.

Everything starts to get fuzzy, and you feel yourself losing consciousness. It’s an unsettling feeling, but you know that Harry is there to help you through this.

The last thing you hear before it all goes black is Harry calmly saying, “I’ve got you. Let go. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Harry can’t describe the helplessness he feels as you go limp in his arms. He doesn’t allow himself to stress, or panic, knowing that his emotions will impact you. Instead, he takes some calming breaths and thinks through everything he knows he needs to do in this situation.

He hears you whimper quietly as you start to shiver, and he doesn’t hesitate to soothe you. It takes some maneuvering, but soon you’re both laying down in the bed. He tucks his nose into your neck and begins to scent you, releasing calming pheromones until you relax.

It continues this way for the next couple of hours. Harry holds you, and scents you, his nose rubbing against the gland in your neck. During one moment when you seem particularly distressed he can’t help but place kisses there to soothe you faster.

Finally, you start to stir. It takes longer than Harry had anticipated, so he’s relieved when your eyes meet his after hours of being closed.

“Hey there,” he says with a soft smile.

“Hi,” you answer groggily. “How long?”

“Couple hours. Your inner omega needed the rest. Now you need some too. Go to sleep, I’ve got you.”

It’s the same words he said before you dropped. You wish you could hear that all the time. No one has cared for you before, not like this. It feels good, but you remind yourself not to get used to it. Still, you curl into his embrace, enjoying every moment of contact with Harry that you can get.

The next thing you know, it’s late morning. You’re still cuddling against Harry, and his deep breaths indicate he’s still sleeping.

You feel amazing. You’re nice and warm, your mind is clear, and the constant itch and restlessness are nonexistent. You’re extremely grateful, but at the same time, you’re annoyed that you need to depend on another person just to feel normal. But you don’t dwell on that. Because Harry is starting to stir next to you.

“Hey,” he says when your eyes meet his. “How do you feel? Sleep okay?” God, you could melt at the gravelly sound of his morning voice.

“I’m good. Feel better than I have in a long time. And according to that clock, I slept wonderfully.” The two of you laugh, seeing that it’s nearly noon.  

“I was hoping to treat you to a nice breakfast, but I guess I missed the window on that,” Harry says, continuing to laugh with you. “I do still have plenty of time before I need to be at the arena. Would you like to spend the afternoon with me exploring Chicago?”

“I’d love to,” you reply. His face breaks out in a huge smile before he leans down, once again running his nose along your scent gland. You go limp at the feeling, happily submitting to him.

You don’t think about the fact that this is temporary. That you leave to fly home tomorrow afternoon. That you’ll be without his alpha scent once again.

Instead, you think about the hours you have ahead of you, hours to spend with Harry. Nothing could be more perfect.  

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AN: Thank you so much for reading! This was one of the scenes I imagined when I first thought of the story and I'm so happy that it's finally shared with you all!

Taglist: @akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite@theekyliepage@numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry@ssareidbby @gem1712 @acesofspadess@houseofdilfs@shaquille-0atmeal-1@kissitnhekitchen @amateurduck @poguestyleskye@n0vaj3an@snwells@drunk-teens-doing-drugs ; @fdl305@creativelyeva@daphnesutton@selluequestrian@lovingfurypanda @stardream14 @tbsloneely@eversincehs1@boomitsallie1@rose-garden-dreamz @fictionalmensblog @buckybarnessimpp

[wildlife4life]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday

Tagged by the super fantabulous @bekkachaos (dropped a whole fic, check it out!) @jamespearce9-1-1 @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 and @disasterbuckdiaz. Thank you all so much and I am so very excited for your works!

Feeling a lot better today and I'm in still in a good NFL Buck mood. So here is a little snippet from the Dosed arc, featuring for the first time Buck's perspective. (Everything NFL Buck can be found here.)

After many different un-needed apologies from Eddie about the pollen and several assurances from Buck that Eddie is safe from the tiny ladies made of said pollen, the dosed firefighter finally passes out. Poor man is still in his uniform and is going to have one hell of a hangover when he wakes up. Or at least according to the article Buck speed read after Sergeant Grant stated his boyfriend and the majority of the 118 had been dosed with a hallucinogen. Most likely LSD. Buck lets out a groan of both frustration and weariness. He had just gotten home from the days workout with the team and was getting ready for his cool down when the gates intercom went off. Thinking it was another wayward delivery person who had yet again ignored instructions to leave all packages in the lock box, Buck was taken by complete surprise to see LAPD on the video. And hearing Eddie's desperate cries in the background, threw him for a major loop. Eddie is taken care of for the moment and quick texts to Carla and his sister, insured Christopher would be away until tomorrow afternoon, giving his father time to recover. The last issue at hand, is waiting patiently in Buck's living room. Rolling his shoulders, Buck steps through the arch way, doing his best to ignore the niggle of fear in his gut and to just put on the mask of Evan Buckley, charismatic and cool NFL quarterback. "Seeing that you are alone and a little more at ease, I assume firefighter Diaz is finally settled?" The Sergeant asks sounding truly concerned, but Buck can also see a glint of scrutiny and the mask of charm falters. "Um, yea." Buck answers trying and failing to meet her sharp gaze, feeling as if she could see every little secret he was holding. "Thank you, again for bringing him home and keeping him safe." Ms. Grant shrugs, "Its the job and he's fellow first responder. Plus my husband is becoming quite fond of Diaz, even without knowing him all that well." She catches Buck's wondering eye at that and it freezes him on the spot. "Have to say, finding out Evan Buckley, the LA Ram's shiny new star and hottest NFL bachelor is secretly dating a single father and firefighter from Texas, is the most surprising thing that's happened to me so far this year. And I allowed a delinquent kid out of my custody, to hot wire a concrete mixer to save a man trapped in his burning car." The entirety of the Evan Buckley facade shatters and Buck has to swallow every shard of dread. Shit.

Like Buck could fool Athena. Psssh. Hope you all enjoyed!

PSA: School has officially started for me this week and as I am in a 9 month fast track program, most of my focus will be on my school work, so my writing is going to slow down. But I will find the time.

Tagging (no pressure): @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @spotsandsocks @rainbow-nerdss @devirnis @spaceprincessem @fortheloveofbuddie @lover-of-mine @athenagranted @eddiescowboy @evanbegins @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @try-set-me-on-fire @theotherbuckley @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @thekristen999 @shortsighted-owl @spagheddiediaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @eowon @princessfbi @honestlydarkprincess @vampbuckley @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @glorious-spoon @buddierights @prosperdemeter2 @gayedmundodiaz @lemonzestywrites

[kriber]

stitches and stuffing

and the acquisition of wings by one (1) grian [1045 words]

-=-

"Scar?" Scar blinked at the sudden voice, then wheeled over to the edge of his train and looked down. Grian stood there, staring up at him with a face as blank as ever.

"Well hello there, Grian!" Scar chirped.

"I need your help," Grian said.

Scar hummed. "Of course! What do you need?"

Grian pulled out a pile of fabric. "Can't reach my back."

"Ohhhhh, sure thing!" Scar immediately knew what Grian needed from him. "Come on up!"

Grian didn't hesitate to climb up the ladder, throwing the fabric into Scar's lap. The zookeeper picked up the material - soft and fluffy, in orange and blue and gray hues. The fabric was sewn into wing shapes, already stuffed with cotton.

Scar dutifully dug out a needle and some thread from a small compartment by his bed. "Surprised it took you this long to come up," Scar mused. "You usually get me to sew your wings on as soon as you get an elytra, and I noticed you don't really have one yet!"

"Taking things slow this season," Grian hummed, tapping the floor with his foot. He was dressed in big brown overalls and boots, and there was an odd patch on his arm. He was really into the fishing thing this season. He even had a ratty old beanie on his head.

Not to mention… "What's with the… uh," Scar motioned at Grian's face.

Grian looked away and poked at his new facial hair. "Thought it'd fit the vibe. I was fishing for so long, I just took some hair from my head and glued it on my face.

"Wait, wait, wait," Scar laughed. "From your head?"

Grian groaned and pulled his beanie off. A bald spot appeared from under the hat.

Scar cackled. "Oh, Grian there had to have been a better way!"

"I was BORED!" Grian blushed, face digging deeper into his collar. "I can glue it back!"

"All the stitching I did for that waffle, gone?" Scar gasped in mock hurt, putting a hand to his chest. "How could you?"

Grian rolled his eyes. "Yea, yea, can you help me or not?"

Scar chuckled. "Yea, G, come here."

Grian chuckled too, and turned to go sit on Scar's bed. "This might work better."

"It might work better if I could actually work on you," Scar rolled his eyes and wheeled over to his bed.

Grian blinked, then realized. "Oh. Right. One sec."

Before Scar's eyes, Grian completely changed. It wasn't a gradual thing, it just happened all at once. What was previously a 5 foot something fisherman in a red sweater was now a 3 foot tall plush doll. Grian shrugged off the suspenders of his overalls, which were now big and slumpy. He flopped down on the bed, his back pointing up. "That good?" he said, his voice not even remotely muffled by the bed. It never is.

"Perfect," Scar said, and lined up the wings where they usually went. He also placed the tail in its appropriate spot, though he did have to pull the overalls down slightly. Grian's usual black pants were underneath. Not like he expected anything different.

"I'm surprised you still need to ask me to drop the illusion," Grian commented, not even flinching when the first needle broke his sweater-skin. "You've been doing this nearly every season for me."

"I work with glamours, not illusions!" Scar huffed, tightening a stitch. "They're completely different!"

"Aren't they the same, like, conceptually?" Grian asked.

"Not at all!" Scar smiled, always ready to go on a rant. "Illusions trick the brain into thinking something's there when it isn't. Glamours cover something, like a pretty face or sparkly sparkly wings!"

"Ohhh, so illusions add while glamours subtract?" Grian realized.

"Something like that, yea!" Scar said, finishing up his stitch. Grian's right wing was now sewn on, and the doll gave it a little test flutter. At his thumbs up, Scar moved onto the second wing. "What bird are you this time?"

"Kingfisher," Grian replied.

"Makes sense," Scar nodded. "Why not something like a seabird?"

"I like the colors of kingfishers," Grian chuckled.

"Fair enough!" Scar said.

They worked like that for a while, Scar filling the air with rambles about Star Wars or the train he was working on, while Grian relaxed and let the air be saturated with his friend's voice. Eventually, they finished, and Grian hopped off the bed.

"You look amayzing!" Scar clapped.

"Thanks to your sewing skills," Grian complimented, turning around in a circle. His soft footfalls barely made a sound. "I look great!"

"They aren't even elytra'd yet," Scar frowned slightly. "Are you not gonna fly?"

"Like I said, I'm taking things slow," Grian turned his beady little eyes to Scar and tilted his head. Scar knew how a smile looked like on his friend. He didn't have a mouth, after all. "Slow like a snail."

"Ohhhh are you the one who sent that snail to Gem's base?" Scar chuckled, looking over at the beautiful lighthouse nearby. A tiny teal speck was barely visible from here.

"I did no such thing," Grian said innocently, in that exact tone he had when he was definitely not innocent.

"Mmmmhm, sure, G," Scar laughed. Then, he snapped his fingers. "Oh, what if I give you little snail antenna?"

Grian gasped and his wings flapped in excitement. "YES!!! That would be so cute!"

Scar smiled at Grian's enthusiasm. "How about you go fishing, see if you can get that mending book-" he stifled a laugh at Grian's groan "-and I'll whip up little feelers for you?"

"Oh, that'd be great, Scar, thank you!" Grian said. Then, the air around him warped again, and he was back to looking at least somewhat real. Scar could still see the ethereal thread that held his limbs together. He stretched his wings, real and feathery, and flapped them once. They propelled him slighly forward, and he laughed. Scar's own wings, hidden under several layers of glamour, fluttered.

"I'll be back!" Grian said, jumping off the train and gliding back to his dock. Watching him run, it was hard to tell he wasn't really alive in the first place. Scar rolled his eyes and tooted his train's horn. Well, time to work on those antenna!

[sea-salted-wolverine]

No one should ever go to Kasilof. It is a terrible place with terrible weather and overflowing porta potties and overstuffed dumpsters with child snatching and dogfighting and some crazy guy swinging a sword that got shot by the cops. Awful stuff really. Best avoided. Just not worth the bother.

That was the gist of the news stories leading up to the kasilof sockeye runs this year it was no issue at all to find a camping spot and it wasn't nearly as crowded so I totally agree with the mainstream media on this one. It's a den of vice and iniquity. Stay away. The rent lowering gunshots clipped a reporter.

So this year we went down with a largish caravan of 4 family's worth of people and junk and a limit of 170 fish to catch. We're soo good at planning and logistics that this went off with no hitch and no arguments (lying). Since we also had a very pregnant lady and excited 2 year old who would not be fishing but were still counted towards the limit we planned on being there for a while, at least 3 days if not more. We also had the damn dog.

So at least I was planning on a few days of chill fishing and a long slog. My brother in law left an hour or so early with his girlfriend and had one job, to find us a good spot to descend upon and set up our camp. They did not do this. One job. The fishing was hot so they didn't even really bother to park, we pulled up on his truck kinda packed off to the side of the road and he was down in the water with a pile of fish on the beach because he didn't even have a cooler ready.

So by the time we bitched him out, found a campsite, set up camp and squared everything away, it was approaching midnight. This is normal, you fish the tides as they come and its not like it gets dark so wandering the beach all night long is expected so long as you're considerate of those trying to sleep.

But then.

My Sunshineman brought his boat. I knew he brought his boat, I was in fact the one arguing that he needed to do things like park and set up camp rather than do exactly what his brother did and throw himself into the river as soon as he saw fish coming in, while neglecting those little things like, food and sleep. But since we were done setting up, he wanted to go fishing from his boat. At midnight.

I had been up early that morning to do terrible things in the bilge of a different, much larger boat that resulted in fun colored bruises on my ribs and sore shoulders, so I wasn't particularly feeling the vibe on this one. I helped launch the boat and then bowed out to go pass out in a pile of blankies in the sand.

In the time it took two set up camp and launch the boat Adak, the dog, managed to get into a fight and have his face ripped up. He is huge and he is stupid but he doesn't take shit but he was on leash while the other dog was running loose, so the impulse was to pull him back, if he had been left to his own we probably would have gotten away with out anyone getting bit.

He's fine and chicks dig scars but its indicative that I had no idea this happened 25 yards away from me until adak came up to me and smeared his face all over my pants. My pants already had engine grease, bilge slime, grass stains, fish guts, coffee, mud, sand and a few baby boogers on them so what's a little dog blood too?

So yea, not my circus, not my monkeys, in tent, pants off, pjs on, cozy bitch in the blankies, out like a light, nothing better than sleeping on the beach.

Except for the fact that your husband wakes you up at 2 AM asking for help.

I'm convinced he kept it vague on purpose.

I'm up. I'm out of the tent. I'm still in my pj's. I have my drysuit on over top. My waders have a hole in them. It is, I cannot stress this enough, 2 AM.

The boat is a 16 foot mil surplus zodiac with a 40 horse Johnson, if you care about that sort of thing. It gets nice comments from people who do care. We usually run one person to drive, 2 to work the nets, and one optional person to handle fish as they come in. Sunshine went out with our 2 friends who AFAIK crawled off the boat and directly into bed after 2 solid hours of midnight deathmatch fishing, because I watched them stumble out of the boat and didn't see them again until breakfast. The boat was entirely full of fish. THEY CAUGHT 49 FISH IN LESS THAN 2 HOURS. Kasilof reds are usually smaller than Kenai reds but there must have been a secondary run because half were the average 6 or 7 pound fish and the rest were something like 10 lbs each.

At some point sunshine must have woken up his brother because he materialized from somewhere and we got the fish out of the boat into a cooler so we could drag them up to clean them. Then came the thing that we're all still more than a smidge irritated about. Sunshine went back out in the boat, by himself, to go get more fish while BIL and I cleaned the ones he had just brought back. We couldn't even yell at him because a good chunk of the beach was asleep.

So at about 4 am the sky has decided to shift from twilight to morning and I am sitting on a cooler of gutted fish in a superbly uncomfortable drysuit having a moment of perfect communication with the bald eagle sitting on the light pole at the end of the dock. We would both enjoy breakfast, preferably of fish. But it is four fucking am in the morning. And we should both be alseep. Breakfast is not a meal best enjoyed at 4 am. A nap sounds best.

Sunshine comes back with 3 more fish. I honestly do not remember what happened to those fish. Either I gutted them or he gutted them or maybe they got raptured into fishy heaven, (which looks suspiciously like the inside of a cooler) I legitimately do not know, because I think my REM cycle was starting up again.

I get a hand to haul the cooler back to camp. I peel out of the dry suit and was asleep back in my cozy sleeping bag blanket pile before Sunshine even made it to the tent.

At something like, idk, 6am, someone started splitting wood. loudly. I was awake enough to identify that it was near, and probably not a problem and I distinctly remember making the semi conscious decision to sleep through it. At about this point my phone died and for the rest of this trip I had no idea what time it was. I intended to take pictures and document things and whatnot and that just did not happen. The phone stayed dead and my hands stayed busy.

I woke up last, presumably because the demon that compels my mother-in-law to get up at 5 AM every morning had already woken everyone up with the wood splitting. She was toasting breakfast burritos, and it wasn't as if I had slept through the whole morning because I wasn't even the last to get a burrito.

My FIL made a joke that at least one of us got a full 8 hours and BIL earned back all his brownie points by jumping in to defend me unprompted. She was indeed up at ungodly hours playing with knives and dead fish. How dare you impune her honor simply because she looks so dewy fresh after sleeping in the dirt?

I did at least get the chance to put a net in the water from the beach but we were limited out by 1pm. That's enough fish fast enough that we were dumping out food and drinks coolers because we planned on freeing up space as we went. So I had our camp that we had intended to stay in for as long as a week broken down and hundreds of pounds of fish gutted and iced in a few hours. While drinking, because we had several days worth of food and drinks and beers that had been displaced by fish. The solstice vodka lemonade from matanuska brewing is great btw.

We had planned to overlap the end of our trip with the beginning of my mom and sister coming down so we could fish together, so I called mom as were were leaving the beach. From Sunshineman's phone of course, mine being dead at the bottom of a bag somewhere. As the current time was something like 16 hours from when we arrived, she assumed I forgot something or was just calling to tell her about the nice weather, or terrible weather, or confirming the news report's porta potty horror story. She didn't expect us to pull in a years worth of food in a single tide cycle.

So we get home without incident, and get to cleaning and fileting and packing and labeling at, some, late, evening time, maybe? I'm time blind on a good day and if I had a watch it would be covered in fish slime.

So yeah, this year's fish camp was condensed into a single solid slug of dense firey whatthefuckFISHfishFISHcleanpackgutgohome. Niece creature didn't want to change our of pj's so she wore the same outfit for her entire trip which is spectacular from a laundry standpoint because a toddler given free reign to a muddy fishy beach goes about as well as expected. She had a ball and then napped through almost the entire cleaning and packing process when we got home, which is what I wanted to do but instead I fileted triple digits worth of fish.

Mom went down later for the weekend and she got rained on for 3 days and caught 7 fish and a flounder. We caught the hot run and came home with fish but at what cost?

[tired-lamb]

final thoughts on battle for the pridelands

my liveblogging was… chaotic, to say the least, but I wanted to really gather my thoughts on this episode because its a big, big one. figuratively AND literally lol.

first things first the new designs straight up shook me in a /neu way, it’s not that I don’t like them but I just wasn’t ready to let go of the old designs yet, y’know? I kind of dislike how Fuli’s design feels like a completely different character, but otherwise it’s eh. I think seeing the guard grow up just made me emotional, haha. I wish Janja, Cheezi, Chungu and Jasiri got new designs tho, since I hc them to be roughly around the same age as the rest of the guard. I understand that making new designs for a whole bunch of characters (characters that wouldn’t be appearing much later, too) would be a lot of work but it just felt kind of odd to see Jasiri unchanged next to Teen Kion or whatever. Maybe at least change some tiny details, if not the entire design.

I like that they delved more into Kion worrying this time. it really puts into perspective that.. yea, these guys are child soldiers. thats. gonna come with a lot of emotional load. seeing Fuli and the others worry about Kion was a nice touch too, honestly. definitely opens up for thoughts about just HOW much these guys are affected by the whole child soldier thing. hearing all five of them sing again was wonderful <3 especially Ono, since he doesn’t get to sing a lot.

Scar’s betrayal of Janja was expected, lol. I actually REALLY like the way the show carried out Janja’s redemption, and WOW his song slaps. the guard + Janja’s clan getting stuck in the Lair while it was on fire was also really interesting to me, and I wish they hadn’t taken the route of them just.. escaping through Beshte’s pool. it was like.. what was the point of putting them there then? I’ll probably put more stakes in my maybe-going-to-exist rewrite, but lets see how I go with that.

*COUGH* why does Kiara basically look the same *COUGH* Kion looks older than her at this point *COUGH COUGH*

oookay, the stuff that went down at the volcano was WHEW. Scar’s song with this Strange Lion guy was like wow ok so . introducing new lore to explain why you’ll give Kion his scar and then completely forget abt it (or at least I think they do, I still haven’t watched the rest of the season), nice! buuut also creative, dare I say. song’s not bad!

ANGST. Scar singing the song Sisi Ni Sawa, the show’s most popular song, to Kion and LITERALLY MEANING IT. this is one of the few(?) times the show outright parallels Scar and Kion, and god I actually loved it. the fanfic writer side of me is leaning forward in my chair because there is no way Kion’s not going to forget that thought. Scar’s last words to Kion were literally “Sisi Ni Sawa”. Kion is the Direct Successor of Scar in terms of Lion Guard leader. THE POTENTIAL. THE ANGST. (cough) okay, but apart from that yahoo more delving into Kion’s character.

Bunga diving in to save Kion from Ushari and then promptly falling into the lava gave me a fricking heart attack. call me dramatic but started getting emotional on the spot. ONO FLYING INTO THE LAVA TO SAVE HIM did NOT help, and someone save my poor boy I feel so bad for him agh 😭

The outlanders reaction to Scar being gone felt kind of bland, but then again I’m not really sure what else it COULD have been. I’m sure some of you do, though, so feel free to share your thoughts:].

I am Absolutely Unwell over the fact that Ono has technically lost his vision and as a person who ships bunga x ono AND bunga x ono x beshte you better expect me to write something about it. Lion Guard writers I am coming for your kneecaps (or whatever the saying is now, idk).

there’s.. a lot of things I would have changed, but thats because I dislike how childish the show can get sometimes. call me out, I deserve it, the show is meant for kids, but it has potential!!! I’m not outright hating how kiddy it is, heck I’m like. mega fan of kid’s shows, but all I say is that it has the potential to turn into something less for kids, more maybe for pre-teens and above.

again, not sure if I’ll rewrite the episode since I’ll have to do a lot of thinking, but it is definitely something I’ll consider! shoutout to my mutuals for being with me till here, and for supporting me in my very much chaotic liveblogs. love you guys dearly /p /gen

*raises glass of fruit juice dramatically* to season three!!!!

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

not a hc but can you rank lucy's stardresses?

A fit rank huh? Sure I can do that. Just gonna preface n say that obviously this is my opinion and whatevs and that I won't be includin any of the ones introduced in 100yr because I don't care about the sequel :]

Alrightie lets get into it! This gonna get long tho, so imma put it under read more so I don't murder ppl who are scrolling.

Aquarius Stardress

This one honestly might be on the lower tiers for me. Like for the first stardress shown its rather, boring. The colour choice of green and yellow is weird, and visually disconnects it from Aquarius (like seriously? No blue anywhere?). The wrap skirt is cute and I do love how she has Aquarius' collarbone tattoo. That's fire. But the basic bikini top is meh. Overall its serviceable, 6/10 on the Phoenix scale.

Leo Stardress

Honestly can't go wrong with a nice black dress. I really would've preferred a pants suit for this one but the dress regardless is fun. I has a nice shape with the asymmetrical skirt and I like the ruffles all over. I also like how the anime gave her stockings

If I had nitpicks i'd say to get rid of the center line down the middle of the chest, the two under the bust are enough and get rid of the purple hair clip, it feels tacked on and just tosses in a random colour to the palette. I'd also maybe change the yellow to something more orange so it pops more (maybe even make the interior of the dress something eyecatching to add some extra oomph visually when she's kicking.)

But good fit, 8/10

Virgo Stardress

Well, it's about what you'd expect tbh. It's a maid outfit lol. There ain't much here to say cept that its cute. 6/10

Tauros Stardress

Oh hell fuckin yea. HELL YEAH

Unabashedly this one is one of my favourites solely because of the uneven pants. It's so fun and stupid. I also like how she and Tauros have matching belt buckles.

The basic ass bikini top does bring it down though (sorry i'm a bikini top hater. If you're gonna put a character in a bikini top at least make it a different style! There's different types of tops that can be both sexy and interesting!!!!). It also looks wack at certain angles.

My chest hurts lookin at this.

Apart from that I don't think the double buns works best with this dress, I think it'd work better if swapped with the double braids of the capricorn dress. Also I just think it'd be cool if this dress gave her an axe, like how the cancer dress gave her weapons.

but because of how much joy the stupid pants give me, 9/10.

Sagittarius Stardress

Another banger stardress despite a glaringly obvious issue.

This shit's great to me. Good colours, fun patterns, i fuckin love that its backless and the high ponytail is great here. The issue?

That deep ass coochie cut.

On god it just looks so uncomfortable. The anime tried to even it out by giving her tights but that just tossed in another colour to the palette and just unbalances it. A simple fix would've been just to make it white leggings under there. Skin tight, sexy and still practical. Apart from the coochie cut the only nitpick I have is that I think the boob window should've been star shaped and i wish her sleeves also doubled as archery gloves.

Apart from that and how much the coochie cut haunts me, its a 9/10

Aires Stardress

Now I have no idea why, but I was never exactly big on this one. Like it's not awful, all the stardresses have a baseline cuteness to them. The alternating pink and white tiers on the dress is nice, but the cut under the bust kinda kills the uniform pattern it had goin on. Likewise the leggings don't feel coherent to the rest of the fit. Like still cute, but the stripes and the introduction of black makes the whole thing feel busy and plain all at once. Though ironically when it's in the manga and purely black and white i think it looks better.

But I dunno, i think this one actually might be my least favourite. 4/10

Gemini Stardress

Ok. I like the alternating blue and white all over. That's cool. But, that headdress on top of the already busy outfit feels like its a lil too much on top. Also the random gold baubles on the outfit itself feels sorta thrown on. The belt can stay I suppose but nix the tassels near the collar and trade in the boob window for a deeper neckline.

We can just get rid of the headdress altogether and change her hairstyle to like, crown braid with a hanging blue and white ribbon on either side to keep with the alternating colours and we golden. 5/10

Scorpio Stardress

Gonna start this off to say, not a big fan of the bottom (the leather panty thing with the chain on it? Dawg idk i don't like it lol). and the chain on it looks so silly and not in a fun way. If anything I think she should have a bigger tail, not as big as scorpio's but defs something bigger that what she has currently. And as much as I like backless fits I don't think it works here, the deep cut boob window can stay though. I do like the headband and how her hair frames her face but overall its another 5/10.

Also here's a scorpio stardress redesign that I like. Doesn't fix all my issues with the og but it's still pretty dope.

Cancer Stardress

I like this because it looks cool and gives Lucy weapons. I don't like it because it doesn't connect well with Cancer the spirit visually. But Cancer's design sucks and I like this better than Cancer himself. Truly a design with conundrums for me. 6/10

Capricorn Stardress

I don't like this dress! Not one bit! Why is it a bdsm tit dress! The hair is cute and I like the shades and the horn clips with the bows but the dress!!!!!!!! Why is it so visually disconnected from Capricorn the spirit! Why isn't it a skirt suit with sexy fishnet leggings like in the concept art!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why isn't this the canon design!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tragic/10

[sunny1616]

Deluded Pt. 1

Matteo Riddle x Reader

Summary: You and Matteo have a toxic yet addictive bond. Both of you know it and can't help but feed into it further. But what happens when the limit is found and crossed?

Warnings ⚠️: toxic relationship, swearing, arguing

"Sttawpp Matteeo.. i have to get to class..." Matteo, has you trapped in an outdoor alcove at the courtyard. His hands bracket your hips, and his head is nuzzled in the sweet spot between your neck and collar bone. At your request for him to stop his perusal of your neck, he responds with a giggle that tickles you under your jawline. "This is no joke! McGonagall will kill me if i show up late for the third time this month!!... MATTEO IM SERIOUS.." You then brace your forearms against his chest and push off.

"Comme onnn. That old witch won't notice. Know-it-all-Granger takes up all her attention in that class. I know you dont want to go, so why are you wasting this precious, precious time?.." At the last two words, his face is back on the same sensitive spot. And you wiggle again with less will to end it.

"Ughhh, at this rate, we both won't ever graduate. Don't you ever take anything at least a bit seriously?" This was partly a jest, but you also wanted to know if Matteo had the right priorities.

"Why do you have to ruin the mood? Who the fuck cares about school? Both our families are loaded anyway. You could work at any department at the Ministry even if you didnt pass Divination. Besides, no one goes to classes anyways. Blaise, Crab, Goyle, and Theo- even Pansy doesn't give a shit most of the time! BE MORE LIKE HER AND STOP KILLING MY BONER" He ends with an annoyed exasperation. You just gape at his complete disregard for school. Sure, you weren't a stellar student, but you gave at least 60% of an effort. Better than 0, duh?!

"I dont want to be like all those people!! If i want to do something worthwhile after grad, imma have to learn a thing or two to be of some use. My mommy and daddys money can't buy that STUPID!!" Eyes wide, you think about picking up your bag to leave, but before you can reach down, he's already hissing again.

"Holy fuck... your such a fucking tease right now. Fine. Go. I dont give a fuck. You're not irreplaceable, there are 20 other bitches that'll gladly take your place with me right now over some dumbass class." He then frenziedly takes out a cigarette and lights it. Not even looking at you.

After a pause and a breath, you finally say, "Wow. How fucking fragile are you? You cant even go a minute without having your dick wet can you? Its pathetic... Im sorry that i have other priorities than you, a raging manslut!! And since you have 20 other girls under me, i invite you to go to them because im sooo fucking done with your ass. They're all probably waiting oh so patiently too for me to let you go. Too bad for them to soon figure out what a DISAPPOINTING MESS YOU ARE."

"Haha yea right. Let's see how you like it when you can't have me. You're gonna wish you had chosen differently. While i on the other hand get to finally HAVE SOME FUCKING FUN. GO DRY YOUR PUSSY OUT WITH MCGONAGALL AND TRY NOT TO GET RUG BURN WHEN YOU CRAWL BACK TO ME." You're already halfway across the courtyard and dont even turn back when you scream:

"I HOPE YOU KNOW THE NUMBERS BETWEEN 0 AND 20 WHEN YOU COUNTDOWN YOU DUMB FUCKER!!"

You sort of speed stomp across the yard to reach the hallway. Then quickly go to the changing staircase to get onto the right set of stairs in order for you to arrive to class on time.

Now that the nerves of almost missing class have subsided, you are now fuming about everything else. How could he say all those things to you? Though you know Matteo and what he's capable of your delusional thoughts creep in to ask; did he truly mean all those things? He won't actually hook up with other girls, right? Deep down, you knew the answer but still refused to trust it. Matteo is more unlike his father than he is like his father. But in regards to keeping true to his threats, you could say it runs in the family.

Author note: i hope yall are angry at Matteo. Hehe. Part 2 coming soon!

[boredw69]

Only In His Office- Ch.4 Negan X Readert

Y/n is 19 year old Senior in high school who is particularly quiet but that's only because she always takes the time to write in her notebook filled with.. thoughts about someone imparticular, but its not who you expect it to be…

◇There is a age gap in this book so if you are not ok with that or if it makes you uncomfortable then you do not have to read, it's your choice.◇

Warnings: Age gap, Sexual themes, Cursing, (Bad writing :O, didnt proof read. Oop

Word Count: 1358

The next few days went on as normal, and it was Friday before I knew it. It was already mid day and I was in the gym sitting on the bleachers for the free period.

Try outs were after school today; and for once I had an ounce of positivity about it. Maybe getting out and playing a sport actively with help with my odd addiction to writing. 

The squeak of a shoe echoed across the gym floor. I looked up to see Negan approaching me.. Of course; I was naive to think he would be too busy planning tryouts to notice me in the corner of the bleachers. I folded up my notes and shifted to sit up a bit.

"Well; So obsessed you had to come visit me on your free period?" He smiled.

I choked out a small laugh. 

"Excited for tryouts?" He asked sitting down next to me.

"I suppose.."

He tilted his head trying to get a better look at my face. "She speaks." he let out a chuckle

"Psh.. Yea.." I mumbled.

I looked out over the gym, things had already been laid out for try outs. Small areas taped off on the floor, cones placed in different patterns, and oddly enough the hoops were lowered. Negan followed my eyes to the basketball hoops and cleared his throat.

"Makin' it easy for ya" smirking he looked back to me.

"Your joking right?" I stood from my seat and walked around the gym to the closest hoop. I looked up and laughed. This was too easy; So easy that someone who had never played could dunk it.

Negan stood now walking over to me and stretching his arm up to touch the rim. "Maybe your right" sarcasm was laced through his words. "Think we should give it a test run?" he looked down on me. 

I bit down on my lip thinking for a minute. I was at a small disadvantage.. But practice is practice. "sure".

Negan held back a smile as he nodded. Heading over to the ball rack he palmed a ball passing it between his two hands before chest passing it to me roughly.

I caught it with a huff. "ouch." I spat.

I began to dribble the ball practicing passing the ball on and off both hands.

Negan didn't seem to waste any time fucking around coming around to smack the ball out of my hands before I ran with it across the court. I slowed down at the hoop going in for a lay up.

The ball circled the rim before falling off into the net. I rebounded the ball and dribbled once before realizing he was already on top of me. Nowhere to go I simply held and defended the ball. I turned against him.

"shit." I whispered. 

"Yea." He leaned down against me whispering against my neck.

Still not pressed fully against him i panicked. What if someone saw us this close? This is dangerous; But being this close is nice. His chest was so close to my back, and I could feel one of his legs pressed onto me. 

Lost in my train of thought he grabbed the ball and held it over his head and shot it from across the court; it circled the rim and fell off the side. 

"Worth a shot." He said cockily.

I stood up normally, turning to face him, still weirdly close. He looked down smiling. 

My face got hot, and my body too. I was doing it again. 

"I should get back to studying" 

He huffed; "Studying? You mean writing away in that little notebook of yours?" He questioned.

My breath caught in my throat. "What- No. I have school work to do." I fumbled on my words.

He burst out laughing, "Yea, yea of course."

My expression flattened, unmoving, bored with the joke. I turned back and started to head towards my things.

"What'do ya say we go talk about try outs in my office?" He didn't follow me he just stood with a lean in the middle of the court.

I slowed in my pace trying to make out what he had just said. 

He began after the ball that was slowly wandering the court floor. Picking it up and dribbling it slowly back to the rack. As I picked up my things I turned back to face him. 

"Hell' Bring that book of yours.. Maybe we could brainstorm a new page for ya." He teased.

My heart skipped a beat and I began to feel.. Aroused? again.. I nodded unsure of where this was going.. But where ever it ends up I'm sure it will be worth taking chances.

I nodded simply, and with a smirk from him we walked back to his office.

He sat down in his chair and patted the desk; "Lay 'er out and we can get to brainstorming" He continued on.

I sat down in a chair just in front of his desk now digging in my backpack for the notebook. 

Not entirely sure why I was just simply doing what he asked I placed the book in front of me and he flipped it to a random page.

"Why don't you read it allowed.?" He leaned back in his chair.

My eyes trailed down looking at the book; Then slightly up now seeing the tint in his gray pants. 

No way this was happening. 

"I- Erm. I can't." I cleared my throat.

Negan shifted in his seat looking me over head to toe; "How come?"

"Its.. embarrassing."

He scoffed, "Hell yea it is." Leaning forward in his chair he looked at me eye level; "But from what I read." He paused, "You're into that."

My heart was racing. What do I even say..

My skin pricked uncomfortably from how hot I was getting. I crossed my legs trying to settle the excited feeling. I looked up as he pushed the book closer.

"His hand gripped around my throat stifling my breathing as his hips..-" I gulped, "Rutted into my ass.." stopping I looked up to him. He was watching me with hungry eyes.

He nodded signaling me to continue.

"The water from the shower ran over us both our skin beginning to redden from the water pressure."

Negan stopped me. "So detailed." He stood up making me settle into my seat as I followed his movements. "Where do you come up with these settings?" he asked.

"I'm not sure.. I just use my imagination I guess."

He slid in front of me, my sightlines just above his belt. He leaned down close to my face. I swallowed my saliva nervously as stared me down.

"What are you thinking right now? Hm.?" He whispered.

"I want to kiss you.." I say bluntly.

He stifled a smirk. "Yea.?" voice arrogant in tone.

Leaning closer I closed my eyes.

Our lips brushed against one another his beard poking at my chin and upper lip. I closed the gap moving closer to kiss him. 

 He kissed back leaning down further to grab behind my neck and guided me to stand up. My hands fell to his hips resting on his leather belt.

I could feel as his fingers laced into my hair, he gripped down hard pulling lightly at the roots. As we kissed my legs rubbed against each other yearning for any sort of friction. Slowly getting closer to him simply just wanting to feel more. My chest pressed against his ribs and He broke the kiss with a deep breath. I could feel him looking down to me as he groaned.

My heart fluttered; I suppose I never thought of him as a verbal man.

He grabbed at my shoulders slowly pulling me away from him; "Shit.."

I looked up trying to gauge his expression.

"We should probably slow down" He licked his lips huffing before going back behind his desk.

I grabbed my book awkwardly shoving it back into my backpack and heading towards the door.

I cleared my throat, "I'll see you at try outs".

------

Tryouts went normal and everyone was sent home with a small pamphlet readying us for first practice dates and uniforms.

Sitting in the passenger seat of my dads truck I finished the paperwork, confirming my shoe, pants and shirt size. I signed the bottom and folded it up.

"How did it go?" My dad asked nonchalantly 

"I think it went good." I held back a giddy smile.

[manwiththemagic]

spn s1 ep1 "pilot"

REWATCH TIMEEEE!!! I literally just finished the show but uh, I'm so hype I'm just going straight back in :9

So uhhhh, random things from me while I watch the episode because I'm bored, and stuck at my dads place 😔

Also whenever I'm mean to Dean and Sam ITS WITH LOVE!! not John though. Glad that MF is dead.

Crazy how John See's the blood next to Sam and doesn't immediately check for wounds.., or when the blood drops on him his neck doesn't immediately snap towards the ceiling. I get he doesn't know shit about the supernatural but like c'mon man.. (I'm allowed to be mean, it's John freaking Winchester. I hate him)

Love the picture on Sam's dresser being of his parents. I know it's mostly cinematography in like showing that this is Sam, but likeeeee idk. It's funny that deans all like "you abandoned us.(Me. IDC about you leaving dad, you left me. What the freak man!?)" But like, clearly Sam still loves them all?? Idk

AAAAAA HALLOWEEN MENTIONED!! crazy how for most of the show it's assumed he doesn't like Halloween because he hunts monsters, but no, it's because he threw up on some girl in 6th grade at a party😭

Deans first shown crime, breaking and entering.

Why didn't he just knock😭 it wouldn't have made a difference??? 💀💀

FIGHT‼️ FIGHT‼️

God they looked like such babies back thennnnnnnnuuuuhhhhh!!!

Dean already being kinda shady.

no seriously they look like babies..

“𝑖 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑟𝑓𝑠😏” okay lil bro chill out. That's your brothers girlfriend..

I forgot how pervy early seasons Dean was LMAO it's not funny..

Funny how Sam's all like "ermm.. no why would I leave with you in the middle of the night??" And tbh he is valid for that. It's probably wayyy to soon of their dad being missing for it to be Sam's problem, but Dean? Lil bro doesn't careeeeeee. I think he just was super anxious and like, we already know how co-dependent the lil shits are. Bro didn't wanna be alone.

“do you think mom would have wanted us to be raised this way?” OH YOU HAVE NOOOOO IDEA LIL BRO..

Also it's funny (after seeing s15) that he is getting kinda what he thought was an dramatic anxiety of his of Sam saying "no dude wtf?". Like Dean waited hours stalking Sam out because he was to scared to talk to him, and like... real? But he thought Sam would be more "I hate you KYS" when Sam in reality is just "let me live my life." and both are equally as bad to dean💀💀

“ "I can't do this alone." "Yea you can." "Well.. I don't want to." ”EXHIBIT A. him saying this after being mad at Sam like "YOU ran away" like bro.. your acting mad crazy girlfriend rn. Pushing and pulling. "I hate you sm you bitch GAHD. anyways... (*Twirls hair*) I missed you... Run away with me??" LIKE BRO.

Crazy how it's always said that Sam has the puppy dog eyes but like... Dean is literally puppy dog eyeing Sam to come back. And Sam falls for it.. dumbass.

Dean lil smirk when Sam asks a question. “Just like riding a bike, isn't it Sammy?” Dawg maybe use a better metaphor. When did you guys have time to ride bikes?? Also that reminds me of that one ep with Gabriel aka the trickster who put them in a sitcom. With the two seater bike? Anyways...

Dean back at his guilt tripping and gaslighting!! You go queen!! “You know.. I've never bothered you in almost two years..” right.... Cause that's so hard. (It definitely was. Lil bro is super clingy in early s1)

The way he immediately tells Sam to skip the interview. He basically says "Interview?? Uh? Who cares about a job?? We're about to go work a job?? Sure it doesn't pay, and it's dangerous, and you hate it—" like bro😭

Dead cheater with a squeaky ahh car.

Dean Winchester crime number 2, credit card scams, and pride him them. (Literally not shocked people peg him for a criminal mastermind. He legit is..)

sams first "it's Sam. Not Sammy" time!! I forgot he used to do that. Cause in the late seasons, like bro just gave up. Like Lucifer calls him Sammy, GOD calls him Sammy, but not as much. Mostly because he isn't *as* mocking as Lucy boy.

God do I love baby. First time watching it i didn't care about the car. My thoughts were "damn. Cool ass car. Anyways—" BUT NO. baby is so much more than that.

Deans third crime, impersonating an officer.

Ahh good ol fake id's. Sam looks SOOOOO anxious about it.. lil baby's first time lying 😔 LMAO JK but it probably is one of his first times doing this as an adult. Like he ran off at 18, Dean has 8 years of adult-lying-experience. Sam has none

AHH ONE OF MY FAVORITE LINES!! “you're awfully young to be federal Marshalls.” “why thanks, that's awfully kind of ya!” I loved deans lil accent ☹️. ESPECIALLY LATER ON IN JAIL OR WTV. “you son of a bitch, we don' swing that way!” I LOVE HIM.

my sons chat.

Why do the police believe them?? They pull up in the funkiest of outfits, baby faces, the most FAKE id's ever and people are just like. "Ahh yes... Marshalls!!" LIKE NO??

sassy Dean!! “well that's just the type of crap police work I'd expect out of you guys.” LIKE BRO.. I don't like the cops either but damn 😭

Sam's lil foot stomp💀💀

DEANS SMACK..

“why'd you do that??” “why'd you have to stomp on my foot? 😡” “why'd you have to talk to police that way??” LMAOOO also Dean def wanted to look cool Infront of sam. "Sam look how much of a cool bad boy I am😎" bc like Sam def thought teen "bad boy" Dean was superrrr cool, but like Dean doesn't know how to make Sam look up to him again 🦹

Seriously guys?? You? This random dead guys UNCLES?? YOU LOOK THE SAME AGE AS HIM. also Dean if your trying to pass your baby face brother as an adult man, maybe don't call him Sammy to the people your trying to convince??

AHH MORE IN SYNC TALKING!!! I love it when they do that.

Dean is so CLINGY. "heard she got murdered or smth idk. And they say she kills others blah blah blah case stuff—" and Dean just stares at Sam like "you hearing this?" OF COURSE HE IS. dawg he's right next to you chill out 😭

Gosh Dean is SUCH a meddler. He's bugging Sam talkin about "you think your gonna become a lawyer? Marry your girl" and Sam's obviously like "yes?? Duh" then Dean gets MAD like bro😭 bro is so mad Sam has a life, and I remember that from the future ep with Sam collage friends and the shifter. Dean just refuses to see Sam as an adult, and just drags him everywhere😭

Deans the definition of those like boy moms, but with sam. "Hiya sammy!! Is this your girlfriend..? She's uh.. awful and I hate her. HAH. demon bitch!!" like in s4/5 with ruby, he's not mad Sam is with a demon, he's mad Sam is "abandoning him" bc he has abandonment issues. Also he infantalizes Sam sm bc like he raised Sam, he still has the little kid Sammy version of Sam stuck in his head. And that's why he continues to lie to Sam for 15 FUCKING SEASONS. anyways..

Deans 10 baginllionth crime, breaking and entering (into his dad's abandoned motel room)

SO MANY ICONIC LINES!!! “no chick flick moments.” “pff. Alright, jerk.” “bitch.” I LOVE THEM.

finally daytime.. I mean don't get me wrong, I LOVE the dark grimey aesthetic of the early seasons but woooff finally I can see. Also I miss baby Sam's haircut. Like it was fire?? ALSO THE LEATHER JACKET?? YIPPE!! and the samulet!! Gosh I missed it.

Sam calling Jess!!! AUSGHSBS

Deans first time getting arrested in the series!! Crazy how it goes from this to being in worse than federal prison (a place that "legally/technically/on the books" doesn't exist) because of a assassination attempt on the president..

“fake U.S. Marshall, Fake credit cards. You got anything that real?” “uhh yeah. My boobs. :)” HES SO SASSY!!! I miss happy(ish) Dean!!

The police have such valid reason to question dean. Like bro strolls into town, fake id's, digging around, then you find him staying in a room with 10 missing persons all over, a bunch of "satanic mumbo jumbo" as the cop says it, and a level of sass so high a heroin junkie would O.D.

Dean (rightfully) pulling the "how is it me? The first guy went missing when I was 3, pal." And cops like "erm. I know your working with that old guy."

AH THE JOURNAL!! they treated that shit like it was the Bible in early seasons. Kinda fun. Also I bet this is where the cult idea started.. like in the FBI eps where everyone's like "yeah we know your dad was crazy, boy. That's why you—"

And honestly? I LIVE FOR THE FBI PLOT LINES!!

“so you had a happy marriage?” “.... definitely” OKAY BRO... RIGHTTTTT YEAH TOTALLY. lying lil bitch.

sam was really just yapping about the supernatural to anyone in early seasons... Like bro you ain't gotta tell this random man about women in white lore😭 same thing in the wendigo ep

Also Sam's puppy dog eyes!! “you tell me..🥺” (which reminds me of late season when chuck takes away their main character luck and Sam is like ‘so tell me, please🥺’ and the people are like 'puppy dog eyes? Are you fr? Does that always work for you?' LMAOO. But also I don't think Sam is realizing he's doing it. I think he just really had that kicked puppy look.)

Dean crimes yet again, breaking out of holding. Also “fake 911 call? Pretty illegal Sammy! :)” LIKE YOU CAN TALK. LMAOO I love how sassy he was.

fucking John and his dumbass orders with coordinates. Why was he even sending Sam in this goose chase? Why not just act like everything's normal to dean? He won't know what your doing, and Sam would still be in school.

oh great the fucking women in white. I HATE THAT BITCH!! I HATE THAT FUCKING BITCH!!/ref.

First time of many where Sam gets assaulted. no because why do the writers always have Sam get sexually assaulted.. ITS THE FIRST EP BRO.. and like later it happens with so many others, and demons, and old women, and LUCIFER. God he was the WORST.

Ghost? GONE!! who ya gonna call?

“you found her weak spot, nic work Sammy!” he's so proud of him omg. If it was late seasons Dean, and early seasons Sam you know Dean would be the type of dad ("big brother" stfu. Dad.) who would take cheesey selfies with an unwilling Sam, and post them on Facebook (bc old) and go "look at my sammy!! First hunt back and he's already killin'!! #proud" OR WTV

“wish I could say the same for you. What'd you think shooting Casper in the face, you freak?” LMAOOO

Deans so disappointed that Sam wants to go home LMAO. like yeah he told you from the start lil bro, but I can't blame you. 🤷

Dean is trying EVERYTHING to get Sam to stick around omg 😭 he's like a desperate ex, or a divorced dad trying to win his sons favor. “we made one hell of a team back there..” Jesus Christ Dean, pick yourself up dude. It's kinda sad😭

NOOOO JESSS!!! breaks my heart everytime.. she haunts the narrative :(.

Dean immediately busy in.. was he just waiting around? Like stop stalking your little brother man 😭 anyways glad he was there!! Saved Sam from burning up bc of Jess..

Gosh thats.. :(

Iconic trunk slam!! They use that shot a couple times in the end seasons to show how much time has passed. AND IT EATS EVERY TIME HEYOO!!

“we got work to do.” GAHHHHDD!! chills!! Literal chills! I love this show! :}

[tiar-vn]

MY GOD! I'm so excited to see how this project develops, I really like Yaki, he's SO pretty, his eyes, his hair, his vibes, his skin akshakanskwjw

I'm really intrigued to see how this world works and what it hides(?) Idk, I'm just impressed with the designs and the story :3

WAAAA THAT'S SUPER NICE!! IM ALSO PRETTY EXCITED TO WORK MORE ON THIS AND MAKE THE DEMO!!! I wanna point out that this VN won't like totally be centered around romantic aspects, more so on investigation, adventure etc.. YOU CAN ACTUALLY AVOID TO ROMANCE YAKI IN ANY CASE!!

I have... some notes I wrote about the whole Convent and how its gonna be planned out, ITS NOT FINAL OFC!! Since I still have to fix them. But I hope these can clear up some things!!

MC schedule;

Regarding the jobs/tasks u can take up in the convent (these are old notes so FORGIVE ME IF THESE SOUND STRANGE);

1) CLEANING well ofc what do u expect? This is not only regarding the inside of the convent but also the outside, making sure everything is presentable and nothing is growing on the walls etc.. take out the trash, clean the floors, dust the shelves in the rooms, make the beds BLAH BLAH a lot of people already do this and I'd like to think there's a max on each jobs (and also a minimum)

2) COOKING, this duty also regards taking the food, cleaning it, chop chop chop, preparing the tables, serving the food BUT also the lunch and dinner (dinner is very important it's where the praying happens, why u ask? IDK I STILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT BUT EVERYONE HAS TO WAIT FOR YAKI TO PRESENT HIMSELF AND GIVE THEM TO GO TO START EATING)

3) HARVESTING well the garden is not gonna take care of itself MOVE ON BUD, MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS YAKI PUT OUT FOR EVERY DIFFERENT PLANT. Each section has a different way to handle it, look out for bugs or RATS that could possibly destroy this beauty of a garden and yea!!! Also keep count of the days the plants have to grow n so on

4) CLOTHES/LAUNDRY Surprisingly this is different from the cleaning work, that's because YOU'RE SPECIFICALLY assigned to fix clothes if they're broken or dirty. Wash them, scrub scrub scrub MOVE YOUR HANDS you can go outside and put the clothes to dry on those clotheslines.... you can find the materials to fix the clothes in the tailoring section of the convent (SINCE ITS YOUR FIRST DAY YOU CAN ASK PEOPLE OR YAKI EVEN FOR INSTRUCTIONS/A MAP OF THE PLACE)

5) Copy, write, read religious scriptures THIS IS MAINLY FOR REMEMBERING MORE ACCURATELY THE WRITINGS N SO ON these get sent also to other places and yea it's kinda like an economical thing??? WELL I NEED TO SEE MORE ON IT BUT YKKK this is also a good place to get to know how to write/read if u can't!

6) GUARDING duty, tho this is reserved for specific people YOU NEED TO TALK TO YAKI FIRST FOR THIS and kinda have a conversation with him, it will be up to him whenever he trusts u or not

EXTRAS INFO; you don't have to do all these jobs BUT u gain points, with these points u can perhaps have better food??? Better clothes??? Gain more popularity??? It also makes your curriculum look good or smt (you sign your name on the duty board, you show up to do your work while an instructor calls out for you and you get ticked off VERY SIMILAR TO HOW A SCHOOL CLASS WORKS YK??)

Every job has different points but I'll still work on it o777

OH AND you can do multiple jobs in 1 day!!! I'd say if you're lucky maybe 3 u can manage? LOOK OUT FOR YOUR STAMINA THO</3

If you skip the job thing then wooooooo u really think people will let that slide? If they work, YOU work as well. People snitch here SO HONESTLY I don't recommend getting punished on your first day

BUT DWWWW THERE'S ALSO BREAKS MID DAY DURING THE JOBS THAT U CAN DO!!! you can either actually rest or explore the convent a bit more? Up to u!!

[nerves-nebula]

hi there, i want to ask about your usage of it/its pronouns, sorry if this might make you uncomfortable or if its weird or confusing

are your it/its pronouns any different from it/its pronouns for an object? I don't know how to word it sorry, I'm just trying to understand more about other types of pronouns

It’s fine. They aren’t different from an objects it/its to me, because objects & animals & concepts aren’t inherently inferior to humans, so I wouldn’t really mind being in the same group as them conceptually.

It’s a mindset I haven’t fully gotten into but I’m trying to rework the way I see the world, inspired partially by the things I’ve heard native Americans say. Like, I am not better than the food I eat because I’m human. A bear isn’t better than me because they can eat me & kill me. Humans are a part of the earth and would do best to work inside of it and with it than to try to control it or put ourselves on a higher level than it’s other creatures.

I mean clearly we can’t be all that much smarter & more important, what with what we’ve got going on.

But anyway, my pronoun change was at first honestly just the most logical conclusion.

Here’s my train of thought: I didn’t like he or she, Im not a man or a woman. and they/them don’t tell you anything about my gender. If you hear someone call me they/them you aren’t even gonna know I have a weird gender!

Similar to how man and woman are genders, but Non-binary isn’t. Non-binary just describes what you aren’t, its an umbrella term not (inherently) a specific gender. it’s very broad and most nonbinary people I’ve seen & met still identify in parts with man and woman. They/them is so vague that no one would bat an eye if you slipped in a they while describing a cis person who clearly reads as their assigned gender.

And I’m too forgetful & lazy to use neopronouns so, it/it’s was the natural choice. It’s easier to integrate because people already use it/it’s for stuff all the time.

And see, here’s the thing: I have a gender, I’m not vague or in between or a mix. And it’s much closer to like, the idea of a Third Gender. This was something that frustrated me a lot in high school because I would go looking for labels and most of them were about proximity to manhood & womanhood. Or about being agender or neutral. Or about concepts I fully did not relate to. I am not one of those things.

Another issue I had was that a lot of these gender labels had “-gender” at the end which doesn’t make sense to me at all. It’s not mangender and womangender so I didn’t vibe with this naming scheme.

I was also hesitant to use a label a white person made because I’d noticed that white people kind of have a different experience with nonbinary gender than people like me.

Luckily I found the perfect label! Maverique! It had no weird -gender suffix and it was made by a black person who created it online after realizing neutral/agender didn’t fit right.

And yea so it/its is a signifier of me as a third thing. not male, not female, not neutral or in between or lacking gender- just a different kind of person.

And this isn’t even getting into all the ways that I related to monsters in media, which were frequently called by it/it’s pronouns. Or how being abused factors into seeing myself as a non human THING and how embracing that makes me feel much more alive & like a person.

So yea, that’s the run down :)

[antiendovents]

heyyy its ussss! its r (or maybe Eva idk) (nope yeah its r) and I just wanted to say you're awesome!!! (EVA GET OUT) we think you are super cool,sorry, but evalynn wanted to say smth to ya.

hiiiiiiii I think you're so cool and um I'm back and feeling way better and anyway yea love you (platonically) you're so cool yeah 💕💖

well that was rather embarrassing. the love letter we were referencing was our second message to you, in which saturn got way too in detail about me.

we are not dating lol, I have a gf (well, me and Eva share her, I think Saturn is aroace and evalynn is a child so yeah) (and our other alters almost never front) (cept one but I do not want to introduce her to you because she sucks and I really hate her) (shes very abrasive and generally assholey, she yells a lot at r and the rest of us).

anyway uhhhhh yeah I have like a quick question. can an alter have a backstory that's basically me but kinda tweaked? so evalynns backstory is basically mine (I'm the host), except I have a lot of trauma from COVID so for her COVID never happened. shes like forever in third grade, before COVID started and um kinda like a fictive but from real life. she also hates reminders of COVID so I'm gonna make sure she does not read the rest of this message cuz her mental health is already sorta iffy!!!

OH I NEED TO WARN YOU BOUT SMTH. my parents raised me z!onist and I'm not anymore cuz like... a lot of very obvious reasons, but evalynn does not have the skills to process this, so she generally does not talk about any of this. I've been doing my very best to make sure she doesn't know anything, so she may be a bit oblivious. we were never the sort of z!onist who wanted to like, kill everyone (tho I know some of those) we actually thought that the west bank and gaza should be allowed to be its own country even when we were younger, but she is still very connected to israel (we are Israeli, but again, stand for Palestine) so ummm please ignore her lol anyway bye lol (insert nervous laughter)

PLEASE DONT HATE US

-🌌🌠

hi again you two!! Thank you so much! You seem cool too (all of you) :D

And hi Evalynn! You're awesome and I'm glad you're feeling better now! Love you too (platonically ofc!) and I hope you have a great day(or night depending on where you are in the world!)

Also I didn't even notice that lol! When I go back now yeah that kind of was a love letter lol! but I guess a platonic love letter since you have a girlfriend and they're aroace?? Either way it's kind of cute (like in the way where you see best friends or siblings give eachother gifts or care about eachother a lot and you just go "awh")

And don't worry about that, we kind of get that! We'd probably introduce ourselves too if we didn't switch so much, infact we still need to work on introductions on our personal blog, we just don't know who to do cause they either stop fronting for a long time or cant be bothered to do it (and also we have a few alters like that, so we get why you might not want to introduce her to us, but either way you should know she's welcome here even if she is a bit "assholey")

And yeah, it is possible for alters to have similar but different "backstories" or whatever one would want to call it! I'd assume it would be that your brain just witholds memories of COVID from her due to it being too traumatic or stressful for her to handle, which might explain why she only seems to remember what happened before COVID and why she doesn't like reminders of it? (I don't know, I'm making assumptions based on how our system works a little, but our point is yeah it's entirely possible!)

And that's fine, we don't hate you for that. You cannot control how you were raised or what your parents believe in or even where you were born, you've changed and recognised that the belief is harmful and that's good enough, that's literally all you can do. It's understandable that some alters may not be able to fully process it, sometimes these things can be incredibly complicated and trying to change what you grew up with is hard, we're proud of you for doing it anyways, even if not all of you understand it perfectly

[actualbird]

do you think once giann returns/is saved he would take over as the pax ceo or he would ask marius to keep running it? bc i get the vibe that under any other circumstance he would not want marius to endure that stress and he knows how much he dislikes it (i mean marius literally does everything in giann’s name and says he wants out once giann is back!). But I can also see that mhy would throw that whole thing at us where giann is like “bro… you’ve run it so well. better than i ever could… you should continue as the ceo…”. obviously we Don’t Know what will happen in canon so in terms of your personal headcanon, what do you think?

oh my gosh anon, the “bro… you’ve run it so well. better than i ever could… you should continue as the ceo…” is something i never thought about and hATE SO MUCH NOW THAT U MENTIONED IT AJHFVJKDS I NOW HAVE ONE FEAR!!! hyv for the love of god do NOT go that route. i'd rather hyv just kill giann instead of that.......KIDDING

but oh gosh i really hate that scenario because my personal headcanon and ideal hope for if giann ever returns is that he takes up CEO mantle again, i agree with you!

though my personal hc differs though in the sense that....i also think giann kinda liked his job before he went missing. he didnt like how itd take too much time away from time he couldve spent with marius, he didnt like the very slimy environment of corporate backstabbing, but he liked heading Pax. he liked making it better than it already was.

i think this because:

1) i just think its neat!

2) austin has noted that giann is different from himself and from marius (said in a scene in marius' sweet chapter 4). he and marius tend to be more closed off, keep more of their cards close to their chest, are less trusting. meanwhile, giann was described by him as somebody more emotional and even naive.

and yet in spite of that, canon has showed us giann did a tremendous job heading Pax during his run and was wildly praised by the public for his leadership. so he was different. but different worked. he was dang good at whatever he was doing. i think giann's Difference in how he operates in the business world is a fitting change to the cycle of wariness and endless distrust that made austin and then marius The Way They Are because of the business world, itd mean a more open and transparent future for Pax

....and also because giann would wanna relieve marius of the role that hes been carrying for years

like i know that in a sense, giann taking pax back isnt as ~subversive~ as marius continuing to head it. but idk.....from what i know of giann—both his immense love and protectiveness over marius and his own objective success at being CEO—i would quite dislike it for him to go “bro… you’ve run it so well. better than i ever could… you should continue as the ceo…”

i see him more going like.... "bro....youve run it so well and im so proud of you. you ran it better than i ever could, and thats given me one hell of a standard to live up to. but you can rest now. thank you for helping me. now, it's my turn to help you."

and then marius goes for a phd in art history and becomes an art professor able to pursue his passions and teach it to likeminded individuals while also still moonlighting as "Z" because wouldnt that be such a fun secret identity for an art professor to have HAHA. THATS WHAT MY HEART WANTS!!!!

so yea thats my personal headcanon for this!