#ye haw! what a fun dynamic

[sforzesco]

POMPEY & SULLA

Pompey, however, was not cowed, but bade Sulla reflect that more worshipped the rising than the setting sun, intimating that his own power was on the increase, while that of Sulla was on the wane and fading away

Plutarch, Pompey

political alliances are like bets, you know. sometimes you come out winning, sometimes the guy you were grooming to be your heir has ambitions beyond you and you can’t fully get rid of him. sometimes an alliance is like sharing a pomegranate, like a bad deal. hand in hand, & you’re stuck with them till the end of the line.

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!

[cosmerelists]

True Confessions of a Cosmere Blogger

[There's a Stormlight spoiler in here! For Oathbringer specifically]

Followers, friends, people who ended up here through tumblr's broken search function: it is time. Time for me to lay bare all of my most terrible secrets as a Cosmere blogger. I am ready, and I hope you are too, for these very honest and real confessions.

1. I don't fucking know how to spell Gavinar Galivar Gavilar's name

Real talk: I had to look up the spelling to make this joke because I couldn't remember which was the right spelling and which were the wrong spellings. It's the grandson, I think. It's not fair to have Gavilar (I had to look at the wiki again) and Gavinor (I had to look this up too) have such similar names, not to mention Dalinar (I'm good there) making me forget whether it's the L or the V first in that dude's name. Seriously, this guy's name is the hardest part of writing any Roshar list.

2. My wife came up with my most popular list

I think my very first post is still my most popular: "How Other Cosmere Characters Would Convince The Stick to Become Fire." And who came up with this awesome idea? My wife! I was hemming and hawing about whether to actually start this blog, and she was like, "Hey, what about a list where everyone tries to convince the stick to become fire?" and let me tell you, that list wrote itself--I couldn't type fast enough. The jokes may be mine, but the idea, which is the funniest part, was all her.

My wife had another really good list idea that I still haven't written, since I haven't found a way to do it justice, but when I finally write it, I bet it'll do great.

3. I don't watch Brandon Sanderson's videos

I don't know. I just have trouble watching Videos On The Internet. I had to FORCE myself to watch the Secret Projects announcement since nobody would say what it was, and that was super hard.

4. I don't read fanfic

I think my blog would classify as fanfic, so it would be fair to say that I write it but I don't read it. I've only read like two fics in my life, and they were both because the girl I had a crush on at the time ordered me to (and yes...it was Wincest). No real idea why I don't read it; just something about my brain, I guess. It does mean that I am trying to understand shipping dynamics and fan preferences through tumblr osmosis, which is why my shipping-based lists may occasionally just leave out some huge pairing I was entirely unaware of (like Navani & Ialai, apparently! Whoops)

5. This is my third list blog

I like to pretend that "list blog" is a genre. It actually worked for a while! I had atlalists first--I joined tumblr because I was writing lists for my own amusement and my roommate at the time told me they thought it would do well on tumblr-- and then bleachlists. Bleachlists was the height of my success; I got so many asks & list requests that I had to create a whole separate blog, askbleachlists, just to handle them. I wrote three lists...A DAY. And some other people made their own "list blogs" inspired by bleachlists, which was wonderful. People made art--I still have some of the bleach art people made hanging in my office. It was fun! Then I left tumblr for a while, and now I'm back with cosmerelists.

6. I thought about making this blog a LONG time before I did it

It just felt really scary! The Cosmere has so much lore and so many characters and so many magic systems and I do NOT have a handle on it all. I read Stormlight Archive 2 1/2 times in preparation, hoping to at least have a handle on that part. But what helped, actually, was going to the Cosmere DragonCon panel last year, listening to the questions, and realizing that nobody really understood the majority of what was going on. So that made me feel better. And in the end, it was just something I wanted to do, and it's my way of enjoying a fandom, so I thought I'd give it a try.

7. Sometime I forget major plot points (Oathbringer spoiler)

I put Demid in a poll as a Bondsmith candidate and people were like, "isn't he dead?" I still don't remember him dying. I'm so sorry, Demid.

At least I can spell your name...right?

[tenebrius-excellium]

Speechless.

...This week, I obtained the remaining information about my Mom's life that had previously felt like a gaping hollow of unanswered questions. ...I know everything I wanted to know now.

Speechless that I cried, and wept, and bled for this for 20+ years because nobody would f****** tell me.

Imagine being there as it happened. Imagine knowing that something happened to your Mom but nobody has the courtesy to tell you anything because you're 3 and in foster care and apparently stupid and are told that you knew nothing anyway. I knew. Oh, believe me, I KNEW.

Imagine begging over the years to be given the grace of an explanation. Imagine being told over and over how "it happened so long ago" and how "it's not important anymore" and how "you've nothing to gain from this knowledge" and how "I don't want to talk about it anymore" and how "it makes no sense for you to want to know this." To be given snippets at best, lies at worst. To feel like the victim of a gigantuous conspiracy because nobody feels responsible and no one was there anyway and nobody knew her in detail anyhow.

I KNEW. I knew nothing. I had hunches. Made observations. Felt beyond memories. I KNEW. CLOSE TO EVERYTHING I SUSPECTED TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE. I didn't know facts, but I very well knew vibes. Dynamics. Imprinted, intuitive guesses. I wasn't THERE, but I WAS there.

It felt criminally, morally wrong to dig because of everyone's judgment around me. Wrong to stand at her grave for the first time aged 21, because my father didn't want to go there. Wrong, to find her family four years later, just down the street from her grave, and that same grave wiped out by the authorities because too much time had passed. Wrong to keep digging in the face of everyone's pain and awkwardness around her. Wrong to be her daughter because she hurt a lot of people but she passed me so many great traits, I LOVE being her daughter. Wrong because the story isn't pretty, and why would I trade the fake fairytale that my Dad built us for the ugly truth. Why be ungrateful like that, right? Nobody is that insane.

But to me, the truth matters more than a pretty foam bubble of a life.

I turned to public office records and I have rest now.

I was emotionally, and physically present for EVERYTHING. I just couldn't process the facts because yes, maybe I was a little small for all the facts but I also wasn't given anything to work with; wasn't trusted with any of it; even when I became older.

I had to walk her streets and trace her steps and read her files to discover that I understand nearly EVERYTHING about her. I never knew her but I know her nonetheless. I know how she thought, how she fought, how she lost. God, forgive us. For letting her become like that, for not helping her, for not cleaning our shit up after it went down. My Dad just... walked on. This cost me 20 years of my life.

How to not be angry at that wasted time, how to not mourn every lost opportunity in life when my deficits stare me in the face every other day or so, when I have not and can't do what others have and do, I don't know. This cost me money. Savings. Social aptness. Experiences. Life skills and work skills. Playfulness. Knowledge. Fun. Physical and mental health. Friends. I feel like a middle schooler when I'm about to near my thirties. God, I still have nightmares from the bullying. What good is it to have cleaned up this part of my life when I'm still lagging behind in multiple areas of my daily routine? How is a romantic partner EVER supposed to understand what this is like and what I sacrificed to maybe be able to have a proper, healthy relationship someday? God, why am I so slow? I don't even know what I wanna be professionally, realistically. I've begged and cheated and hem and hawed my way through life and around these questions because there WAS NO REALISTIC FUTURE POSSIBLE until now. Whenever I supposedly made goals, I LIED. There were no goals, not with that hell up my brain. When I said that I couldn't work, I meant it. Yes hello what can I do you for today also do you know perchance where my Mom died. Yeah. Forget it. That program was constantly running in the background of my mind and taking up all the RAM. No way to reliably focus on the present, ever.

God, I made it. It's done. A couple more therapy sessions and maybe I can finally LIVE. I'm gonna lay flowers at her death site and be ok. I hope. This week I reached another milestone, and I keep hoping that this is the final one. But God, what did it cost. For knowledge that I got within half a week. From e-mails with a handful of lines. God knows how we'll make up for this shit. Dear God, have mercy. Oh well.

Listened to "After the Storm" by Mumford & Sons and promised I would play it again when the time came.

There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears

Get over your hill and see what you'll find there

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

God, I think the time came.

[ritartist42]

Yee-haw

Honestly not the best wing I did, but eh not bad.

You know what's kinda sad? That my backgrounds often get covered up almost completly :')

This was the whole wetern-style town I did but you can't really see it..(yes, the sheriff's office and the bar is one joint building)

This is my other version where you can kinda see everything, but I don't think it is as dynamic as the first one. Plus, the horse turned out a bit chubby(cute) and you can clearly see that here tho

Also also:

I did this faux-book cover for fun. I think some of Misha's very distant relatives might have been able to read the text.

[supermacaquecool]

Ik Odd pair won the poll, but I re-read Simple dreams today instead, so I wrote about it first lol

I have been wanting to write one of those cheesy "4 times x, 1 time y" kinda fics, so I was trying to workshop an idea through writing Saki-Aoi interactions... I wanted to show some kind of evolution to their dynamic so I wrote two different drafts with two different scenarios that became two different ficlets lol This is one of them. For this one, I started with the idea of jokes since I always end up laughing pretty hard at Aoi's reaction to them in-game (she's very endearing to me bc of it lmao), and Saki has a pechant for using humor to test people or take the edge off the bombs she drops. And yes, I was naturally having fun with the girl best friends dynamic lol

So, it was about Saki's playful behavior,,, but I didn't really know what to do with it for the longest time. I kept rewriting the first paragraph trying to settle my thoughts into a rhythm. It didn't come together until I found myself writing "If she'd only ask, Saki would tell her" (and I no longer remember where this sprung from, I'm intrigued now). It's such a perfect sentence for Saki’s contradictions. She isn't direct about wanting others to pay attention to her, she gets upset about being prodded.. Yet she still wants Aoi to show interest. That's what the fic boils down to. She's trying to find a way to get to know what Aoi likes to do and then segue into "then we should totally do x or y back home!" It's all so she can wring the promise out of her that they'll still be friends back home... Put simply, all her behavior in this fic is because she wants to be reassured about their bond. It really took me a long while to come up with a way to portray Saki's hemming and hawing and the underlying current to the way she interacts with others. She tends to test others and knows how to push their buttons and has all these emotions she refuses to really acknowledge but that still color her impulses, so it was tough to think about how to portray the way she spins conversations. But very fun. I'm very happy with how it turned out. I really love how her affinity dialogues are in-game when they have this kind of quality to them.

I wrote in the notes of the fic that I wanted to make Aoi as puzzled as Takuma can feel when talking to Saki, so that was also something else that was really amusing lol From start, she's uncomfortable with the topic of conversation lol She finds it embarrassing, doubly so bc she can't say she has gone to dates or that she's been invited. But she's also trying to keep under wraps the fact she doesn't like her classmates nor the fact she's so busy she hardly has time for fun LMAO Overall, she's pretty displeased with the questions since they touch on sore spots and it shows in the way her smiles falters lol I had fun writing her killing the mood with her avoidant answers or straight up "I don't have time for it", which was the last thing Saki wanted to hear lol I really want to write them running into their emotional walls more.

Of course, at the core of Saki's insecurity is her loneliness due her chronic illness, so I thought very hard how to include that aspect. I'm always thinking about my disabled pals when writing Saki. I write her in a way that they can relate or appreciate that aspect, so... It made happy that my friends picked on the discomfort around sickness Saki's remark about her own cuteness was meant to bring to the forefront. I didn't have much space to explore this aspect outside her intense fear about becoming isolated once again and her wistfulness about her "simple dreams", but it came out nicely imo.

As usual, Labramon was very useful to push the scenario forward where Aoi's shyness would have made it sink awkwardly lol I got to write her meddlesome side embarrassing Aoi, which I treasure 😂 I want to write Labramon putting her in evidence more, thusly embarrassing her.

I tend to wrap up these kinda fics with some fluff (it's mostly bc it's digimon lol I'd likely feel less inclined to be wholesome in other contexts lol), so I ended up resolving the conflict with Aoi unwittingly telling her what Saki wants to hear in no uncertain terms: that her pressence is treasured and appreciated. It still worked since Saki still had to cross that bridge and ask for what she wanted, so it wrapped up the ideas pretty nicely lol But I think it could be fun to write a more extended conflict between them (if I ever come up with any).

This one was really fun to write, I must say it again. Specially bc of Saki's body language, it was fun to come up with ways to make her move. I'm very happy with being able to write Saki crowding Aoi and then nestling her head in the crook of her neck in such a simple way lol When I started writing, trying to write this sort of action would had had me wracking my brains for months lol I'm glad I can do it now.

"I'm happy I met you, too!" Labramon happily, simple-mindedly, wags her tail. It's almost enviable.

Highlighting this segment because it's so mean and charged LMAO

[paceywittters]

What do you think will happen with chenford during the 4B since it is likely being reworked due to bad ratings and executive orders?

first of all, anon – i want to apologize because i am sure your intention with sending this message was just to ask my take and i appreciate that! but i know that i'm going to talk a lot here and probably sound a little angry and that is not at all directed at you. i have been frustrated with this line of thinking for a hot minute and honestly, you're just giving me the platform to discuss it a bit further.

i truly hate to break this to you and a lot of the fandom, but unfortunately that is not how television works at all. the writers/creative team are not "reworking" the back half of the season because of ratings (which are, for all intents and purposes, not actually that low, and not something used to make change on a story-level unless there is something incredibly problematic going on) or "executives"...the executives have already approved the trajectory of the season, they're not now coming in and hemming and hawing about numbers.

i think this is important to note, though -- there are two cardinal issues with this line of thinking.

1: the overall story of a season is broken long before the season is written.

yes, things can shift based on a lot of factors (actor availability, budget, viewership climate, etc.) but for the most part...the story the creative team (which is comprised of show runner and writers) is looking to tell is set before the writing for the season starts. the story of season 4, both halves, has been laid out since like, the end of june/beginning of july. sure, tweaks have been made, but the larger story is approved by the network and -- outside of incredibly extenuating circumstances -- does not change heavily.

ratings influence advertisers more than anything else. poor ratings are not dictating story points, they are (for the most part) letting the network know what sort of ads they should place during the program block. for example: during the live broadcasting of the rookie, i tend to see a lot of local/smaller scale ads. this tells me that larger/more expensive ads (purely for example, from a company like coca-cola) aren't being placed in a sunday at 10pm time slot because they wouldn't have the same level of pull/influence as say, thursday at 8 pm. ad placement is boring, tbh, but genuinely that is one of the largest uses of network ratings other than scheduling...it has a lot less to do with renewal than we as viewers would imagine, and nothing to do with the layout of a story.

2: online fandom dictates literally 0.001% of the decisions in a writer's room -- and it should be that way, honestly.

the creative team has a really interesting job in that they need to ignore the noise of online fandom a lot of the time in order to preserve/tell the story they've laid out...which is why you don't see writers interacting with online fandom a lot of the time, even though they probably would like to! the creative team knows the characters best. they know the story as a whole. they know where they'd like them to end up.

i'd also like to make it clear: the things that online fandom are typically complaining about re: chenford are intentional choices being made by the creative team. chenford are being treated like a standard slow burn right now -- they're working closely together, having intimate conversations, coming to a point where they are clearly, openly equals...the writers are showing us the depth of their relationship, ensuring the foundation of that relationship outside of them being rookie and t.o. is very clearly established before they move into a romantic space. the creative team of this show knows better than anyone that rushing chenford is the wrong move -- because as much as we all want them to be together, the second that they are, the entire dynamic is going to be different. while this is fun to explore in spaces like fanfiction, it would be trickier to navigate on screen -- the amount of time we would be able to see chenford together would be cut down significantly, given this is a workplace procedural and they very clearly wouldn't be breaking protocol to let chenford date/work together, etc. so moving at a snail's pace? while it can be frustrating for some, it's the best choice to make the most out of the ship/storyline, and capitalize on eric/melissa's chemistry. i am confident in saying that the writers are happy with how this is progressing -- that they are clearly, purposefully making these story choices.

one more note on this -- at this point, the idea of them retooling an entire quarter of a season isn't even plausible from a timing standpoint. they're coming back in january filming 4x15, which means the writers room is likely up to about 4x19 script being finalized and in pre-production. the writing happens so much earlier than the show is filmed -- there is a ton of work that comes between the script being written/finalized and the actual show being filmed, so the writers are typically a hell of a lot further ahead than we as viewers realize.

all of that being said...they're not shifting around the story to make changes because of fandom noise or ratings. they're sticking to their guns and going with the plan they've had the entire time -- a plan that alexi clearly believes in/believes we will enjoy, given his recent post-mortems. i know alexi can be a touchy subject for this fandom, but his words really do not read anything other than positive/optimistic, for me.

at the end of the day, i don't know how i think chenford is going to play out for the rest of this season. i think we've clearly seen them getting closer throughout the first half -- they've broken a boundary of physical touch that i, genuinely, did not think we'd see broached until later this season...and so i think that trajectory is going to continue. we're going to see them continue to insert themselves into each other's personal lives, grow closer, and by the end of the season, maybe we will see a toe being dipped into the romantic pool. i'm happy with how things are going, though, so honestly? i'm not holding my breath right now...i'm just happy to see how it plays out and stay hopeful for next season/season six*. i hope this wasn't too insane of an answer lmao i just know i've seen a lot of misinformation going around about the likelihood of this and it's just...not how the entertainment industry works, at all. happy to continue discussing this if you have questions, though! i clearly enjoy the topic enough to babble about it 😂

*just a note for those who are unaware: shows are typically sold to networks with a six-season plan (that changes, too, just so that info isn't worrisome)...so unless the rookie starts doing absolutely abysmal in several areas/getting panned, i wouldn't be surprised to see the show last for a six season run.

[pyrrhiccomedy]

Tabletop Stuff: How To Create A Good Player Character

So you’re a player starting a new campaign, and you need a new character! Or you’re part of an existing campaign, but your last character just ate shit fatally, or otherwise left the party. You want your new character to be fun to play, loved by the DM and the other players, and to contribute positively and dynamically to the action. But character creation makes you sick to your stomach. You’re worried about creating a character who is unlikeable, boring, or who somehow, despite your best intentions, never really gets involved in the plot.

“Yes, thank you, I feel nauseous with dread.”

It’s mad easy to make a quality PC. But first you have to realize that the characters you like to read about or write about are not necessarily the same characters you will succeed at playing. The table is a totally unique creative environment where you, the player, do not control any variables in your environment, you don’t have a lot of time to think about what your character is going to say, and you don’t have any control over how other characters respond to you.

“So what does that mean?”

1 - Don’t make a point of “challenging yourself.”

This is not a novel!! Or your fanfic drafts!! Or any other space where you can hem and haw and agonize over every line, in the name of creatively stretching your wings! You are at the gaming table, other people are waiting for you to take your turn. Your character should be someone you can quickly and comfortably slip in and out of. 

Do you feel stupid or bad when you try to act cocky? Then don’t make your character cocky. Do you hate chatting people up? Then don’t play a face character.  You may have many favorite characters, in media and in your own writing, who act totally against your own social impulses. That’s great! That’s a wonderful escapist fantasy! But you have 2 seconds to think of something to say at the table, and then you’re committed to it and you roll your dice. 

There are thousands of great and distinct characters who don’t specifically do things that you, the human being who has to say all the stuff THEY say, hate doing and are bad at.

2. For God’s sake, make them care about stuff.

Jesus. Jesus. Emmanuel. Lord God. “My character has a hard time trusting people.” “My character has a hard time lowering their walls.” “My character is an aloof loner.” “My character doesn’t like other people.” “My character is fixated on one goal and doesn’t care about anything else.” “My character doesn’t get emotional.” Stop it. Stop it. I’m dying. You’re killing me. Look at me, I’m turning blue. Stop.

The only thing - the only actual thing - your character has to do is care. No, not about themselves, or some shit from their backstory that doesn’t involve anyone else. About everything! They should have an opinion about everyone they meet, and every situation they end up in! Don’t make it a battle for your character to get emotionally invested in the other characters in the campaign, don’t make a character who will consider a lot of the events and institutions in the world irrelevant to them. 

If you find yourself saying “my character just has a hard time connecting because [FILL IN ANY REASON AT ALL],” you fucked up. Make them care. Your DM created a whole world for you to care about it. You and your friends give up hours every week to go on an adventure that’s meaningless if you don’t emotionally buy in. There are plenty of ways to play a character who’s damaged, or has trust issues, or has an overriding singular drive, that doesn’t preclude them from making quick emotional connections. 

3. Give them the drive to act.

Make them active. Make them brave ( “I’m terrified but I’m determined to overcome my fear” is also brave).

Caution is your enemy. Adventures are not cautious endeavors. Heroes are not cautious people. Put your finger on the scale of action vs caution to make sure that they are always talking the other party members into action, not out of it.

4. LIFEHACK: HOW TO MAKE LOVEABLE FLAWS.

I recently figured out how to trick my players into giving their characters serious, but loveable and relatable, flaws. I said, “Hey, haha, what’s something that’s funny about your character? Like, something that’s just kind of ridiculous about them as a person.”

Comedy is rooted in tragedy. But comedy is tragedy you can get your arms around. Ask yourself, during character creation, what you could make fun of this character for. What’s something genuinely absurd and garbage and self-destructive about them, but in a way you can laugh at? You’ll come up with an achilles heel for them to overcome that will make the other people at the table fall in love with them, instead of just feeling frustrated with their constant bullshit. 

----

AND THAT’S IT ACTUALLY? 

- Don’t deliberately make them hard for yourself to play

- make them the kind of person who gets emotionally invested about stuff

- make them people of action

- give them a flaw you can laugh at

If you want to bounce a character concept off of me go for it, but if you just treat this like a checklist, I think you should be fine.

[stickstone]

leafpool or squilf for the ask thing? :3 hi haw

hi!

leafpool

favorite thing about them: i think she’s a way more complex and interesting character than a lot of people give her credit for. she never really got a chance to be a mother to her kids, so watching her struggle to connect with them all while trying to keep her distance is just very tragic and compelling

least favorite thing about them: the erins occasionally using her as a mouthpiece for ableism

favorite line: ok not good with specific lines, so i’ll just go with moments for this. i love the prologue of sunrise where she figures out that hollyleaf killed ashfur, it’s just such a good moment

brOTP: i love her and squirrelflight’s dynamic, definitely the one of the best sibling duos in the series

OTP: i’m predictable, but yes i do like mothpool

nOTP: never understood shipping her with hawkfrost. nothing extremely wrong with it ig, it’s just a bit too “nice girl falls in love with edgy bad boy” for my taste

random headcanon: i think she would frequently stop by the nursery when the three were growing up and show off cool flowers she’d found and let all the kits pick one for their nest. she kept doing it even after the three became apprentices. after she died, all the cats who grew up getting flowers from her went out of their way to find a flower for her vigil.

unpopular opinion: it’s ridiculous to me how many people call her selfish, like her entire story is about giving up literally everything for the sake of her clan and responsibilities

song i associate them with: i heard a crane wives song (curses i think?) earlier today and uh yeah leafpool vibes

favorite picture of them: the one where she’s sleeping next to the moonpool. it’s the Standard leafpool official art but i really like it’s energy it’s very soothing

squirrelflight

favorite thing about them: she has so much personality i don’t know what else to say, she’s just so fun and full of life

least favorite thing about them: the fact that she is not divorced yet

favorite line: “these kits aren’t mine” or let’s be real the entire fire scene. it’s a very good scene lol

brOTP: already mentioned leafpool, but i also really like her interactions with leafstar

OTP: none (will explain in unpopular opinions)

nOTP: [gestures wildly at bramblestar]

random headcanon: i cannot read her dialogue without hearing moonkitti. she sounds like moonkitti to me.

unpopular opinion: i don’t think squirrelflight needs to be shipped with anyone. she can just divorce (or kill, which is just ultra divorce really) bramblestar and live in peace with her friends and family

song i associate them with: the over the garden wall theme song??? WAIT THIS IS JUST BRIAR MUSIC OMG

favorite picture of them: the one where she is playing with the leaves :)

[translightyagami]

for the fic prompt request thing, perhaps something like Light prodding/persuading L into telling him that one hidden kink he’s hesitated to divulge for whatever reason. You decide what kinky desire L’s been sitting on! Could be canon setting, could be AU, and honestly both a sfw version or a nsfw one would be fun to read. Just a suggestion for if your muse strikes you!

(i really hemmed and hawed over this bc i was like “what are ... kinks?” but in the end! i really did just write a scene of L in a Starbucks and Light grilling him over the phone. ICONIC for me, i think.)

cross-posted on ao3!

L is in line at Starbucks when Light calls, breathless, to ask a personal question. The businessman behind him grumbles while L holds a finger up to the barista, answering his little red phone reserved for his partner alone.

“Light,” L covers his mouth his hand. “You are calling me in the Starbucks line. I can’t discuss anything right now. Which latte I choose requires all my focus.”

“What’s your secret kink?” Light asks. “Oh, wait. Sorry. Also, do they have the winter cookies still?”

Time slows in L’s head and he, as he’s never done before, steps out of line. This conversation has usurped latte decisions.

“My secret kink?” He spies a table in the corner, takes it, and cradles the phone between his shoulder and ear. “I’m not sure what that means. Do you think I haven’t shared all my sexual interests with you?”

“You’ve been erasing your browser history,” Light says. He’s in their bedroom; L can tell by the thump of him falling back on the bed. It’s a sound that echoes through the Rolodex of fantasies L still keeps in his head. “I know about the spanking thing, and the skirt thing. And we did the cuffs.”

“You’re the one who brought in the cuffs,” L says. “I don’t want to be on the hook for your kinks. Don’t check my browsing history, also. Brats who check my browser history for kinks do not get iced snowmen cookies.”

“As if I haven’t already ordered one of those cookies on the app,” Light shoots back, comforter rustling under him. “Tell me why you’ve been covering your tracks about this, or I’ll have to hack your laptop and then your little teen goon squad will bug you. I know that’s who’s doing your IT, Ryuzaki. I traced their VPN.”

“Oh what a clever boy you are.”

“Shut up,” Light says. He’s quiet, calm before the storm, and his next words are torrential. “Are you ashamed of the kink? Is it nasty?”

L scrubs his hand over his face, pulling his cheeks down and sighing. Yes, he visited a few sites specific to an interest he’d been considering as possibly arousing. He erased his browser history as a precaution, obviously, against cyber hackers. Like the little brat on the phone with him – who he knew took his laptop while he was gone and rummaged through it. While the behavior raised eyebrows at the imaginary relationship councilor in his head, L knew it was less to keep “tabs” on him and more Light making sure his security was actually solid against cyber hackers. But the ex-murder suspect didn’t shy from nosiness while rummaging.

“I can’t tell you the kink,” L says and hears Light draw in a breath to complain. “Ah! Stop. I can’t tell you because I’m in a Starbucks, public, and that would draw attention.” With a deep inhale, L resigned himself to the next two minutes of his life. “You can guess it though.”

“Guess it?” Light’s voice is bright; he smells a challenge. “Okay. But I want a clue.”

“A clue?” Finger tapping on his lip, L considers his options. “All right. The clue is … it’s something to do with authority figures.”

“Mm,” Light strikes a low, thoughtful tenor in his hum. L pictures him on their bed, in soft pants and a shirt that stretches over his lean chest with his university’s logo. Maybe he’s just left the shower – brown hair trailing damp stains on the shirt collar, skin dewy, lashes clumped together. He’ll have his finger to his mouth, a habit he began to mirror from L about a year after they started to live together. Drawing the imaginary lines, this image of Light across the airwaves tugs softly on L’s stomach.

“Authority figures,” Light says. “Well. That makes me think maybe something with military, police uniforms? No, no. That’s not my guess. You’ve never liked uniforms.”

“Too true,” L sniffs. “I’m not attracted to pigs.”

“Oh, witty detective,” Light laughs, a cutlery drawer of a noise. “All right, nothing to do with the state. Maybe power dynamics? In that area?”

“In a sense,” L rubs the back of his neck. “Although it’s a frowned upon use in the setting I’m thinking of.”

“Taboo maybe?”

“Not really,” L shrugs. “More that people find the terms used too close to those used in nonsexual settings.”

“Ah!” A loud finger snap and Light crows. “I know it! I know the kink.”

“Then guess, and put your audience out of its misery.”

“Is it … Daddy kink?” Light asks. “Like, you want someone to call you Daddy.”

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” L lets out the words faster than he can proofread them in his head. “You’re so close with your father, and I’ve seen people discuss the mudding of the term, and it’s not really about fatherhood, it’s more about the responsibility and the affect and.”

“Ryuzaki,” Light stops him. “I didn’t think it had anything to do with my dad.” His breathing fills the phone for a moment, and its L and Light alone in the universe – no Starbucks or bedrooms. Just them. “So, if I call you Daddy, then what do you call me?”

Lip between his teeth, L stifles a groan. Like his heart is a glove, Light fits himself into it perfectly.

“Well,” L whispers, smearing in his voice all the late night search engine seeking, pasting together of strangers’ in porno with his and Light’s faces as he created the fantasy. “I’d call you princess. My princess.”

There’s a pop, lips parting for a gasp over the phone receiver.

“I like that,” Light says. He takes a long swallow. “I like that name a lot, Daddy.”

[arlocedwards]

╰ ✧ HARRY STYLES. MUSE NINE. PANSEXUAL ❞ say hello to the s club’s very own ARLO EDWARDS! a TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD, CISMALE that goes by HE/HIM pronouns. i heard they were voted BEST SHOULDER TO CRY ON in high school, which says a lot about them because they’re very IDEALISTIC and INTUITIVE, but watch out for their DETACHED and DESTRUCTIVE side as well. i hope they’re ready to take a break from being a MUSICIAN and finally get this summer started! ( kt / 24 / pst / she/her )

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is some info about my bb, arlo. ** insert clown emoji but make him yee-haw ** 

trigger warning : death .

NAME: arlo cornelius edwards. GENDER: cismale. PRONOUNS: he, him. AGE: twenty-four ( 24 ). BIRTHDAY: february 14th. ZODIAC: aquarius !! HOMETOWN: kent, england. ORIENTATION: pansexual OCCUPATION: drummer. LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english & french. FACECLAIM: harry styles ~ currently featuring long hair.  :’-) 

kt’s note: I KNOW THIS IS SO LONG, SO IF YOU DON’T READ IT, I WILL NOT GET OFFENDED. 

but, just read this so y’know what you’re getting yourself into when interactions open : death tw: arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴀʀʟᴏ'ꜱ ʙᴀᴄᴋɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ

arlo was born in kent, england. i know what you’re wondering, and yes, he does have an accent. :’-) his family moved to new york when he was five years old because arlo’s father was offered a high level position within his company.

arlo was born into a loving family, him being the middle child. he has two supportive parents, sasha edwards (his mother), & carter edwards (his father). there are two years separating him from both his older brother and younger sister. his older brother ( now deceased ) was named holden edwards, and his little sister is named ivy edwards. his older brother can be imagined as eric matthews from boy meets world ( at the end of the day, they were bffs ) & his little sister is quite literally cher horowitz from clueless mixed w/ a splash of bianca stratford from 10 things i hate about you  ( they are polar opposites which makes for a fun dynamic !! )

growing up, arlo enjoyed playing all types of sports - there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t really good at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual. he would go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. he will fight  you over board games and make alliances in monopoly to mess w/ you. 

his interest in taking up an instrument kicked in when he was seven years old. he and his dad were driving back from a hockey game together late at night, and his dad played him the song moby dick by led zeppelin & he knew it was something that he wanted to pursue bc “john bonham was a genius.” ~ arlo vc. and so his dad gifted him a drum set on his eighth birthday !! :’-) soft. but over the years he was exposed to other instruments and can also play the guitar, piano, and he has a nice set of pipes !! harry styles being his vc as well ~ makes it easy. he really wants to learn the saxophone tho??? don’t get him started - he will go on and on and on.

throughout highschoool ; arlo was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not! just soft things.

until now - now anti-soft. hard things.  sdgjdjgd okay, so, arlo is A Mess™️. and i say that with so much love in my bones. arlo is the type of friend that is honest, and all about tough love when it’s needed. he doesn’t mind getting into a fight or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. he will tell you when you’re fucking up, and if you’re throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it. this ties in l8r !!

he’s just a bit desperate to feel against following the death of his brother & also post-break up with shanley? ( which give me one hot sec and i’ll go into those v soon ) but overall he just wants to feel like himself again, y’know ?? don’t we all. amen & what not. to break it down, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all, and he’s sadly willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels numb. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ MIND YA BUSINESS.

arlo’s lurve life : woo ! okay, welcome back -- let’s get into it. so shanley and arlo dated throughout hs and into their first year of college, for a whopping five years together before they broke up. god if you’ve made it this far, i applaud you...but hmu and let me know your fav color, okay? like and comment below ?? subscribe ?? thx. OKAY BACK TO BUSINESS. in case you’re wondering who broke up with who, gosh so nosy, let me just tell you ‘twas arlo. he did it, we can unfollow his ass now. BUT ~ he didn’t want to ? y’know. he felt like due to the long distance, she was missing out on college experiences and her waiting by the phone for him to call was just sad, and he felt guilty. he wanted her to enjoy her time and felt as if he was weighing her down. although he did try make an effort to fix this doing by visiting her that weekend at her university in chicago, but when he came across her with friends he felt stupid and bailed back to cali again. a couple months later he called her, hoping to apologize for his poor judgement and admit to his mistake of ending the relationship, but she wasn’t the one who answered the phone. arlo assumed the random guy who answered was shanley’s new boyfriend (although , he was shanley’s roommates boyfriend but my sad dumb ass boi didn’t know ). arlo only assumed the voice belonged to shan’s bf bc he swears the voice distinctly said “coming, babe!” ( although he did, just not to shanley) and ever since arlo’s been a bit jaded when it comes to romance. shanley called him back later that day, and arlo shrugged her off bc he was jealous af and drunk - claiming he “butt dialed her and it wouldn’t happen again.” :’-( since then they haven’t been in contact. 

he was so in love with shanley, and despite him being the one to end things, he’s never fully gotten over her. he’s definitely hooked up with other people, but my boy is not the committing type after that relationship. 

after high school, arlo attended stanford university, as they offer one of the best criminal law programs across the nation. wahoo ! yahtzee !

after graduating college, arlo moved to san francisco & moved in with ali !! they have a nice little place overlooking the golden gate bridge w/ quality acoustics for their creative music projects. / also where he currently lives !! :’-) we love a bromance.

while in san francisco, arlo attended university to continue on pursuing his law degree  and after two years was able to graduate with his juris doctor. 

TRIGGER WARNING : DEATH / CAR ACCIDENT / DRUNK DRIVING. the death of his brother is very recent, like four weeks ago recent. arlo and his brother were road tripping across the states back to their family home in NY to visit their parents, when a drunk driver struck the driver side of their vehicle, which on impact killed his brother. arlo has survivors guilt as a result from the accident. he and his brother had switched seats a couple minutes prior to the collision, after arlo had asked to switch with him in order to rest for a bit. :’-( miraculously, arlo was unscathed in the greater scheme of all things injury-based. he’s entering the villa w/ a couple broken ribs, broken left arm and scrapes/cuts. so plz sign his cast. 

post-break up with shanley, they had some type of unspoken agreement of trading off years of who gets to attend the summer( aka who has custody of the sclub ) and so last year, arlo did not attend. however, this year, they somehow got their info wrong about who was going / not going, so they have found themselves here at the same time. this being the first time they’ve seen each other since holidays during their first year of college previous to their break up. so get ready for some spice.

last summer, since arlo wasn’t attending the sclub reunion, he was taking the california state bar exam. which is only offered twice a year - he opted for the one in july and passed! :’-) he spent some time after the exam in europe with hastrid. <3

however, arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

overall : arlo truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his chaotic energy. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day.

however rn, with his current state of mind, arlo is just going through the motions. numbing himself with unhealthy outlets and has a different type of mentality. definitely engaging in a bit of the more chaotic activities, as well as leaving everyone alone to their own vices as well. whereas his typical behavior would be more so attempting to lead them onto a better path if it meant well for their overall wellbeing. 

habits : smoking cigarettes ( ali likely nags him bc they aren’t herbal ) . staying up into the early hours of the morning, and yet somehow still an early riser ( hence, he drinks an absurd amount of coffee ). yeah, hence. - get it, from the house bunny? sdjfkngdg any who, he’s in a phase of numbing via alcohol and drugs rn. 

personality type : INTP - T / THE LOGICIAN

moral alignment : chaotic good

tarot card : the hermit ( currently )

character inspo : connor walsh from how to get away with murder, jess mariano from gilmore girls, & ambrose spellman from chilling adventures of sabrina ( literally his #1 ranked personality match on a quiz i took ) !! so, we have that ! and also a heavy sprinkle of seth cohen from the o.c.

ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

the album ‘fine line’ by golden child, harry styles in this case will be used as a hc for arlo. arlo wrote and recorded the album - all songs included, with his muse being shanley over the course of the last couple of years. he’s just kind of been sitting on the entire thing, never really feeling it was the right time to release his work/side solo project...but later this summer, he may just leak it. :’-)

arlo is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school.

those who inspire him : roger taylor, mick jagger, alex van halen, john bonham.

LUNA : ali and arlo co-founded the band with friends edie dorn and guy perkins in junior high. playing gigs where they could as often as possible. arlo was on lead vocals, ali as lead guitarist, edie on bass, and guy on drums. although when it came down to recording and what not they seemed to bounce around when it came to other instruments - v experimental. the band took off in college, prior to something strange and over the years they’ve produced numerous albums and have won a couple awards. 

red roses are his Thing™️ ; fans of the band will walk up and hand him them. i think that’s soft. and i am here for it.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured.

fun fact : dirty dancing is v much so a sharlo movie. they used to practice and be able to successfully pull of the jump & lift dance move literally just for fun / bc they wanted to. after nailing the lift, they learned the entire dance - i can't. dfjkgndjkg SOFT.

arlo has all of harry’s tattoos !! makes it simpler, might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

also the ‘ h & s ‘ rings that will be seen in photographs later on are for his brother, holden, and bbg, shanley </3

arlo is a gucci enthusiast - having much of his closet filled with staple pieces over the years. to further his love for the brand, he was recently asked to be in an upcoming campaign for the fall season - he’s v jazzed about it.

ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

𝖌𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖑𝖚𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊 ( open connection ) : with arlo being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may constantly worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉 / 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖎𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖙 ( open connection ) : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embracing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details.

open to other connection you may have in mind! :’-)  LMK!!!! <3 i love me some chemistry !!!

ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ( featured on arlo’s connections page here !! )

𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖋𝖎𝖙𝖘 ( taken - simon peralta ) : these two went through rough break ups of their own, and a rebound didn’t sound too bad to either of them at the time things started. it may not occur all the time, but they sometimes still find themselves offering up to one another. this occurred more frequently then any of arlo’s one night stands, obvi, but it never surpassed anything other than the physical aspect of their relationship. the nature of their relationship outside of the bedroom can go either way !!!  :’-)

𝖆 𝖇𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick ) : as if living together for the past two years wasn’t enough, ali & arlo are also roommates every summer that arlo attends the sclub reunions. these two are always laughing, and saying some ridiculous ish. you’ll likely hear loud jam sessions and howling laughter / the occasional excited shouting back and forth from their room in the late hours. they are truly nothing but a good time and tbh, they know it. that and the fact that they have the best hair in the villa. djfgnjkdfg FIGHT ME !!

𝖍𝖎𝖌𝖍 𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖑 𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 ( taken - shanley evans ) : these two began their relationship in their freshman year of high school - spending five years together before breaking up in their freshman year of college. * cries in sharlo * they were the “it” couple, no pennywise included … unless ? anyways, everyone thought that they were going to get married, and arlo was v much in love / thinking shanley was his romantic soulmate. yet when they did break up everyone was shookith - even the birds and the bees.

𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick , willow finch , sirena rose ) : these four formed something strange. arlo is the drummer of the group, and also writes some songs for the group. they’ve blown up over the years and are a quite successful group.

𝖛 𝖘𝖎𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌-𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕 ( taken - sirena rose / willow finch ) : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. pure relationship.

𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖔𝖗 𝖉𝖎𝖊 ( taken - delilah jacobs ) : ride or dies ! need i say more ?? these two have one anothers backs despite anything and everything going on otherwise. they play in to one anothers antics and enjoy one anothers presence as they can likely be seen dragging one another across town and causing a bit of mayhem together. you can catch them in their beautiful, bitch #1 & #2 tee's.

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖈 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖔𝖓 ( taken - ramona verdez ) : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although arlo may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around. with arlo having his law degree, he’s always able to squeeze them out of trouble before it gets too serious, so trust - it’s ok !! 

𝖚𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖑𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 / 𝖕𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖗 𝖔𝖕𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken -  izzy de la rosa ) : these two may have ran in the same circle, but were complete opposites when it came down to their personalities / styles / perhaps even humor, so it was expected for them to stand their distance. however despite the odds, they just clicked !! opposites attract and what not, ya dig??  somehow their dynamic just works and they have a lot of fun together by introducing new things to one another.

[prmgles]

Demon!Aziraphale and Angel!Crowley is keeping me up at night. I like reimagined the whole show with a different dynamic. What changed? Not much.

They’d both still be themselves, in fact, more so! Aziraphale doesn’t have to keep his worries and his questions hidden away, he can just be a bastard who loves Earth and everything on it. 

He was thrown out not for being bad, but he just didn’t understand the ineffable plan. Why would people have to suffer? Why would She do this to her creations? He gifts Eve with the temptation for knowledge.

His sinning and tempting revolve around pushing the “seven deadly sins”. He doesn’t see why people can’t just enjoy the fun things in life. He pushes for people to eat what they want, love who they want, and take pride in everything they do, how they look. He enjoys everything the world has to offer, he doesn't want anyone Hurt, or to be evil, but if he can guide people away from Her Divine Plan, then, okay! He’s a bastard to a fault and there is no need to hide it here. He can lie, and outright share his thoughts because what will happen to him? He’s not the most devilish demon in hell, but he asked to be put on Earth, and he’s too fussy for the first demons to want around anyway.

Crowley is just so good. He loves people, Earth, and everything it has to offer. He is an angel who wants to Protect, and he knows how to keep anything he worries about to himself. He’s a smooth talker, when he’s asked where the sword went he just says, “OH I set it down for just a quick moment, can’t go swinging a flaming sword in such a beautiful garden, y’ know.”. He never lies, just knows how to omit. Answer the questions just truthful enough to get by without getting himself in trouble. He finds his own answers without asking questions that could cause him to fall.

He keeps his home in the image of Heaven and keeps a Garden in memoriam to Eden.

Aziraphale keeps a bookshop where he covets the words the people wrote. He loves information, he loves seeing what people create.

-

I imagine in Eden. Aziraphale comes up to the wall and transforms back into his human form, and is taken aback when an angel slides up next to him and says, “That went down like a lead balloon.” It takes a moment to collect himself and understand, the angel is merely looking at him suspiciously and not smiting him?? 

Aziraphale’s argument is that they deserve to have that knowledge, it’s not like it was hidden. It was right there tempting them, placed by God Herself because she couldn't bother to put it on the moon or something. It was the right thing to do.

Crowley agrees on this whole thing, but can never say so. “Demons can’t do the right thing.”

When Aziraphale notices the missing sword and he hears Crowley, might have left it next to a big whole he may have created in the wall. 

When Azi tells him, “You’re an Angel! You can’t do the bad thing.” He means it. He is adamant. The angel before him is Good, He Knows. If this angel did something, it must have been good, and there is no if not. He doesn't want this angel to fall for doing something that is going to protect these two precious humans.

Crowley leaves amused and interested in this demon whose entire argument was based on,” I did this very Good thing,, for Hell of course, since it hurts whatever this Heavenly prospect was.”

Aziraphale is left with the fact he was not cast away from this angel but had a very cordial conversation with them. He raises his wings above their heads during the first rain. 

Mesopotamia. Crowley is pinching his lips horrified at what is happening, knowing he can’t do a thing about it. Knowing he can’t say anything against it. He isn't opposed to the demon walking up to him, finding him in the madness, and honestly worried about the outcome of the sword. He tells him, icily, not because he’s angry at the demon but the situation they are currently standing in. he is entirely too relieved when Aziraphale voices his dissent. “She can’t do this! What did they do to deserve this? The children? Really!?” 

Rather then it being Aziraphale sucking in his lips trying to stop voice his worries, not daring to question Her, simply hemming and hawing, clearly upset; it’s Crowley, clearly pissed that he can't do a thing. “She’s so kind, promising to debut a “rain-bow” after wiping all these people out.

It’s only when Aziraphale asks, “If She wants these people gone, it would be absolutely terrible, to save them, wouldn’t it?” That Crowley loses some tension. Yes, it would be. Most devilish.

He is entirely too smitten when he comes across Aziraphale hiding in an alcove of the Ark with those who were left behind.

 --

Golgotha

“Crawly wasn’t angelic enough.”

 “So what, Raphael then?

 “Crowley.”

“Hm”

( I just imagined big picture stuff here folks).

It’s Aziraphale who leads Jesus to the Kingdoms of the world, trying to get him to escape the Plan laid out for him by God. He wants so desperately to save this man, this man who just wants people to Be Kind. 

And it’s Crolwy who stands angry and upset he couldn't much to save him. He doesn't have a say in any decisions from Up Above.

-

Rome is much the same. Aziraphale overhears Crowley - an angel who can’t stop being upset at his orders and how Heaven is run.

“Still an Angel, then?” - You’re still following orders that are too painful to follow? You’re still trying to do good? You’re still safe? You’re not Fallen?

“Let me tempt you to-” His sputtering this time isn’t because he did the other man’s job but, “Not that I'm actually attempting to tempt an Angel-!”

But, Lord, is Crowley tempted.

-

Stop to mention, that obviously some allegiances would change. Aziraphale has to work with the bad guys because he is a demon. He doesn’t disprove of killing those who deserve it, and he can justify doing a bad thing if it means going against Heaven and God.

I Image his look being more muted. More white and empty. Eyes that look milky white, because he had argued before he was dropped, was that he, “Just couldn’t see why-” (Why this Great plan didn’t seem so great.)

He wears white, not necessarily to boast a Heavenly clean look, but it’s nice to look clean and sharp when you're a demon, and all you’re counterparts look like that.  He is a demon who can look the part of Those Up Above.

I like Crowley wearing dark colors, not necessarily black, but dark, warm colors. He feels a disconnect from Heaven, and he doesn't Want to look the part.-

-

It’s still Crowley who suggests it would be easier if they lied to their Head Offices since they just cancel each other out. And Aziraphale stills upsets at the idea of lying, not for himself but, Crowley can't do that! You can’t just Lie to them! That’s big trouble! 

This time his offices WOuld check, the demons down there do seem to keep good track of how much evil is happening, and wondering if it couldn't have been more evil, Azira-fail?

Heaven doesn’t check. Crowley knows this. They may have sticklers u there but do they even pay attention?

The entire conversation, as knights, pretty much stays the same actually. They just,, work for different offices. Aziraphale can’t accept an Angel doing something against the rules.

Cause the thing is? He believes in good. When he became a demon he felt a horrible ain he cannot imagine Crowley (or anyone else for that matter) going through. He can’t have that.

Here, as Aziraphale as a demon, he has to constantly worry that he is tempting Crowley to sin, by having an AGreement like they do. Something horrible could happen, Heaven could destroy him. 

Angel or Demon, Aziraphale is going to worry about Crowley’s safety and how his own actions can affect it.

Crowley as an angel has to follow the line of working with HEaven, dong the good he Actually believes in, but he has a line he does not want to cross. He doesn’t fully agree with HEaven does and can only go so far against it.

-

Globe: I can’t imagine this scene going much differently again either. Demon Aziraphale eating, enjoying a play from a very creative man? Absolutely. 

Crowley sneaking in, careful to make sure they’re not being watched, because he is aware of what horrible things could happen and is careful to make sure there is no getting caught.

Simply switching who is doing Good and who is doing Bad. “A few minor temptations. - No rest for the wicked.” 

[Aziraphale wanting one of the Gloomy plays to be popular? Yes. It actually being  Miracle (not a demonic one that does it). Not wanting to be associated with an Angel (I’m not bringing this man down, of course not) HMM. It is an entirely different way to show how they’re both not entirely on their sides? Crowley tempting Aziraphale ]? Aziraphale, being the one to worry? It means something else if they’re on the other side.]

-

Bookshop scene where Hastur and Ligur come to bring Aziraphale back to hell, as he isn't DOing Enough Evil, and they have to overhear Crowley go on about “That devilish, Demon, always thwarting and being Evil!”

-

In France, his excuse is, “I can’t explain a demonic miracle when I’m here for crepes.” (+No need to explain why he just allowed Jean Claude to die in his place. +Crowley was, “In the area” because he heard about what “Aziraphale did”. “You think this is MY Demonic Work??” “So the humans thought it up themselves? *instantly relieves Aziraphale of his chains*. (Aziraphale didn’t do anything of course, but was pleased to see some justice done). 

Can demons thank people? Can he be grateful to an Angel helping him out? No, more because an Angel can’t go saving demons. 

In St. James, Aziraphale asks the same favor. Crowley can’t allow this, he cares far too much about Aziraphale to bring him such a thing. Aziraphale is prone to ding stupid things, and not thinking out the consequences. He Won’t do this favor. “I’m not an idiot Crowley, I’m not going to just hurt myself.” The fraternizing comment hurts still too. Of course, this Angel has better people to hang around with, he’s just a demon, and Crowley is hurt by the fact his demonic friend views their connection as lowly fraternizing. 

-

The WWII scene is hard. Are they in a church? Does Azi just wear thick shoes?  They think he’s actually evil, but they had suspicions, and :O they’re taking him out. Crowly (Infamous British Intelligence A.J. Crowley) can redirect the bombs cause it’s no trouble killing Nazis, and Azi still saves them both and is warmed so much when the Angel saves his books again, after everything, and when they weren’t important to anyone but for him. 

-

Aziraphale planning a heist to steal Holy water, and coming out to have a familiar Bently pull up next to him. “You’re an idiot, of course, I hear about crimes going on, I’m an Angel, I'm supposed to stop these things.  Here’s what you’re looking for, keep it safe. I fear losing you, let me take you ou, anywhere you want to go, please,”

“I’m a Demon and I just got an Angel to do something for me, an Angel who seems to care very Much about me in a way that is unacceptable. Maybe I tempted him, in which case that is wrong, and it could get this wonderful Angel killed. I cannot accept his advances as that would be a Sin,, surely.”

.

--

If I didn't have to work.

[marvelousmatt]

Matt Berry on his role as a Victorian detective in star-studded new comedy, Year Of The Rabbit

Tess Lamacraft

Wed, June 5 3:59pm

Actor and musician, Matt Berry gives us the lowdown on his new C4 comedy, Year Of The Rabbit and reveals the fun he had working alongside a host of famous faces including Keeley Hawes and Jill Halfpenny....

BAFTA -winning actor, comedian and musician Matt Berry is best known for roles in C4 sitcoms The IT Crowd and Toast Of London and also for his distinctive voice which has been put to good use on countless voice-overs.

His latest role, set in the dark heart of Victorian London, sees him play Detective Inspector Rabbit, a hardened booze-hound who spends his days investigating murders along with his fresh-faced protogee, Strauss (Freddie Fox) and ambitious Mabel (Susan Wokoma).

The six-part series, written by Emmy Award-winners Andy Riley and Kevin Cecil, the team behind Veep, has a star-studded cast including Keeley Hawes, Paul Kaye, Alun Armstrong, Jill Halfpenny and Sally Phillips.

Here in an exclusive interview with What’s On TV, Matt Berry gives us the lowdown on the new comedy, the fun he had working with a host of famous faces, and reveals which classic TV shows inspired him….

WOTV: Where did the idea for the show come from?

Matt Berry: “This whole thing came about because the director, Ben Taylor (who directed C4 series Catastrophe) and I, have known eachother for years and Ben reminded me of the fact that we both love the 70s police show, The Sweeney. We thought it would be good if we could do something like that but as a comedy and then came the idea to set it in Victorian times. At first we thought it would be too expensive and no-one would want to do it. We nearly talked ourselves out of it but then we went, ‘F**k it, let’s see what happens!’ We made a pilot and things went from there.”

WOTV: How would you describe Rabbit?

MB: “He’s a senior policeman who’s working with his new colleague Strauss (Freddie Fox) and Mabel (Susan Wokoma), who is his boss’s daughter. Mabel is desperate to join the police force and quickly proves that she’s very capable. So the three of us end up as a team. They’re an unlikely group but that’s what I hope will it make it interesting.”

WOTV: What are the dynamics like between the three of them?

MB: “They’re  really tight-knit. It’s them against the rest of the world. Right from the start I wanted them to be like Del Boy and his family in Only Fools And Horses, or kind of like The Sweeney because John Thaw (who played DI Jack Regan) was always very caring of Dennis Waterman (DS George Carter) and I think that’s why you kept watching them. I didn’t want there to be a lot of arguing and shouting at eachother because that’s boring. You see their bond develop as the series goes along.”

WOTV: In terms of his Rabbit’s character traits, he’s a heavy drinker and also seems to have some health issues…

MB: “Yes he’s pretty unhealthy as you would be back then. Nobody in the show looks great apart from Strauss and Mabel. Everyone else looks like a strong curry would kill them! I think that’s how a lot of people did look in Victorian times. He’s also got a few heart problems. It packs up at the most inopportune times, either when he’s running about in the middle of a case or later in the series, during sex. A couple of swift punches to his chest usually sorts him out.”

WOTV: The real life character of John Merrick, best known as The Elephant Man is played by David Dawson (Ripper Street, Luther). Tell us about him…

MB: “In the show he’s a very powerful influence in the criminal underworld and he’s an informer for Rabbit. Normally in detective dramas you see a sergeant speaking to an informer on a football field or whatever, we’ve seen it a million times before and so we thought wouldn’t it be different if it was John Merrick. As one of our writers said, ‘He’s like a Victorian version of Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch’ because Huggy Bear was an informer too.”

WOTV: Paul Kaye plays, DI Tanner. He’s Rabbits adversary isn’t he

MB: “Yes, they’re bitter rivals. We find out later in the series why they hate eachother so much. Paul is great to work with, he’s born for this kind of stuff. I knew he’d relish this role and he is amazing as Tanner.”

WOTV: Tell us about some of the other guest stars…

MB: “Keeley Hawes plays Lydia who’s got a hidden agenda, she’s up to something but you’re not sure what in the first couple of episodes. You see her befriending Mabel. Jill Halfpenny plays Flora who is an ex of Rabbit’s and she comes back on the scene. She’s in the series later on and is a killer on a rooftop. Rabbit’s not sure whether he should be protecting her or not.”

WOTV: So do Rabbit and Flora get back together? Is she the one who makes his heart stop during sex?

MB: “Er yes…quite possibly (Laughing) Jill was brilliant. We’ve known eachother a long time and she was great fun to work with, as was everybody. We are lucky to have such an amazing cast.”

WOTV: Are we going to find out more about Rabbit’s past as the series progresses?

MB: “Well we learn early on that his mother drowned. His name is Rabbit because that was what was written on his forehead when he was found left outside a church. That’s his whole name. He’s got a sister called Weasel because that’s what was written on her head and a brother called Leopard. That’s pretty much all you know about his childhood!”

WOTV: What was filming like? There is so much action packed in, it must have been quite intense?

MB: “Yes,  there was a lot to fit in, we filmed in early January,  a lot of it at at Luton Hoo Estate where they film a lot of Victorian period dramas. It was absolutely freezing and was starting to get dark every day at about 3pm but actually that was perfect for us. The fact that there was a lot of half light and everyone had frozen breath made it all the more atmospheric. It wouldn’t have worked as well if we’d done it in August”.

Year of The Rabbit, starring Matt Berry, begins on Monday 10th June on C4 at 10pm.

[thisisabbytryin]

a lil letter to t, aka my whole heart <3

hi Taylor, abby here:) I just wanted to let you know what a humble, talented, genuine, generous, and amazing human you are. I know a lot of your fans feel this way, but everyone’s love is unique, so I am the only one with my love to offer, so here ya go. I love you bud.

Your talented. Yes, we all know that “Taylor Swift has the best voice”, yeahhh yeah yeah. NO BUT REALLY. How does one hold note for as long as you do, as perfectly as you do, with the verbrato, and the dynamics that are AMAZING, might I add. You’re crescendos and decrescendos are perfect to the music, and your voice is just so pure and angelic and I am highly jealous of you for that. The soul in your voice has me gettin all in my feels 24/7. Then comes the sass (YES GURL GET EM). Then the EMOTION. You put so much hard work into your songwriting, and you are such an amazing lyricist and I just don’t know how you do it. I mean not only do you sound good but write hella good pieces, too. Overall, yourself as an artist is just crazy crazy good, and I’m so thankful for your music, as it has gotten me thru so much in my life.

2. You’re frickin hilarious. I mean that. I love that you come on here to joke with us and laugh with us. You continue to make fun of yourself and dance like nobody is watching. I can’t thank you enough for that motto. I admire your humor and all that comes with it! Your corny “no, it’s becky” joke that is still freakin iconic. And the bongo calf joke?? YEE TO THE HAW. Overall, I just love how you’re not afraid to be your weird dorky self and appreciate laughter as much as possible.

3. Genuine and generous . Wow. Where do I even start with this one. Everything about you. You take time out of your day no matter what to come and check up on your friends. You invite people into your home for cookies, dance parties, and to listen to an album EARLY. You sent fans swiftmas, just a little something to brighten their day. You do pre show meet and greet so that you can meet some of the incredible people who support you. You go visit fans in hospitals, at their homes, at weddings, baby showers. You join lives, you like people’s posts and comment on them. You don’t just do that because you’re a big celebrity. The difference is that you actually care and are devoted to making us, your fans, feel like family. Your big heart makes me explode with joy and happiness. I can’t thank you enough for continuing to check in and care about us. I love you so much for that.

5. Raw. You put your heart out there for the world to see. You lay everything out on the line. You don’t know what the media or people will say about you, but you’re fearless. You’ve taught me to be just as raw as you. You are a true artist who puts unseen and unvisited topics out there. You’re the truest form of yourself every time you perform and I love how entrancing you are when singing. You’re just engulfed into the music. You’ve made me appreciate music more than I have ever thought I could, and so I’ve joined show choir and this upcoming season I’m auditioning for the Voice!! So thank you for my love of music, I owe it to you.

So, these may just be five reasons why I love your beautiful soul, but there are countless more. I am so in love with everything about you Taylor, thank you for making me into the person I am today. For giving me the friends I’ve made over the bond of YOU. Thank you for loving me even though you have no clue I exist. Thank you for being my lifeline. Thank you for being you. I love you endlessly, sending so much love and hugs, xo, abby. @taylorswift

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Spn 13x06

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Yee-haw! So, did we get the promised Brokebacknatural? Cowboys? Check. Super gay? Double check.

Once again we got an episode, and I know I keep repeating myself here, that left no room for subtext. Everything was spelled out in neon letters. Which is weird, from a meta perspective. We are so used to look out for the subtext, and codes and hidden messages, and again it feels like the subtext just became plain text. And again, I don’t feel like this makes the episode better or worse, just different, and of course it leads to the overall question: WHY? And to me it feels like, or at least makes sense, like we are heading to the finish line here. I’m not saying the current season is the last, but maybe the next one. From a writer’s point it would make sense then to address themes that have been part of the subtext for a long time, and the only way to resolve them is to put them in the actual text of the show. (And yes, before you ask: Destiel. All the Destiel.)

Overall I liked the episode a lot. The actual case was kinda… there, they could have made more with it, I dunno. But I loved the Western theme and of course it was a big character episode. I think this week the focus was on Jack, and his relationship with Cas. We had a lot of great Dean moments as well, which brought the episode a light and fun atmosphere, and worked especially in contrast to last weeks episode, to make a big statement what or rather who made Dean so happy. The characters and their relationships were the selling point of the episode.

Let’s have a closer look.

Jack vs Evil Dead

There was a lot of Jack in the episode, and in the beginning he seemed to be in a relative happy place. He is obviously still trying to find out who he is, but it seems like hunting gave him some purpose, at least for a moment. We learned in 13x04 that he still thinks in terms of “good” and “bad” and that, through the influence of Sam and Dean, hunters are to him the good guys. They kill monsters and help the innocent.

Jack trying to be a hunter was of course meant to remind us of all the times Cas tried to act like a hunter. They both even use the same approach by watching what Sam and Dean do and try to copy it. Though I have to admit, with all my love for Cas, I think Jack has got the hang of it a bit faster. He found them a case, he found footage of zombie!Dave and identified him as Athena’s boyfriend. Top of his class, indeed.

I loved the relationship/interactions between Cas and Jack. I always like it when they add new characters to the team, to see new dynamics, not just Cas and Jack, but of course also the birth of team free will 2.0. Cas and Jack do balance out Sam and Dean in a way; they are both not human and outsiders of their own. And similar to last season where Cas could teach Mary about her sons now we have him teaching Jack how to handle a Winchester properly.

I’m not sure the show is ever going to address the “Did Jack brainwash Kelly and Cas?”-issue more than they did now. Jack confirms that he trusted Cas because his mother trusted him, that Cas made him feel safe and the fact that Cas is surprised Jack remembered that implies they talked about the events in 12x19. I have a feeling Dean won’t bring up the issue again – whatever Jack did with bringing back Cas he is forgiven. I’m not sure of either Cas or Jack were aware of the brainwashing. Every episode so far has shown us that until lately Jack had no control over his powers. Choosing Cas as his protector probably did happen unconscious, based on the feelings of his mother, who had become one with him at some point (probably when he resurrected her).

Cas supports Jack and believes in him, and I think he fulfils a role here neither Sam and Dean could. He is the one Jack chose as his father, as his mentor, he is the one who was supposed to be there for him. I don’t believe Jack still controls Cas in some ways, but rather that the affection is genuine. Cas repeats what Kelly told her son – that he is meant to do great things and that he has the power to make the world a better place. This very thing though puts a lot of responsibility on Jack. It is clear that he wants to do good, that he wants to prove to others and himself that he is not a monster, but it backfires horrible. It is clear that killing the security guard was a horrible accident, and Cas, Sam and Dean reassure him that in their line of work things like that keep on happening, but that it doesn’t mean he is bad, or that he should stop trying to do better. Each of them has done horrible things in the past, because the world is more complex than “good” and “bad”. It is part of being human, and we talk so much about Jack’s powers that we forget at times that he is half human too.

Especially in that aspect I think Jack mirrors Dean a lot. There is an early parallel when Jack tells Cas how much he missed him, how he begged for his return, or basically when he tells Cas everything Dean couldn’t. The Jack we see at the end of the episode, the one who decides to leave because he is afraid he is going to hurt his found family, is the one who reminded a lot of Dean in 9x10, who decided to leave because he thought of himself as “poison”. Dean is still the one who is the most honest with Jack – when he asks if the security guard had a family only Dean gives him a direct answer. Dean is the one who never tried to sugarcoat what he thought of Jack, but he is also the one who admits here that he was wrong about Jack. We saw a first small step in that direction at the end of 13x04, after Jack saved Sam, but it is clear that the turning point is Jack bringing Cas back.

Also, Jack refers to Cas, Sam and Dean as “all he has”. This and that he asked about the family of the man he killed shows how important family and family ties are to him, and that he thinks in categories of family the way we know Dean does as well. It wouldn’t surprise me if we end the season with Jack addressing the Winchesters (including Cas of course) as his family.

Something else I found interesting are Jack’s powers. By now he can control them in some ways. It is clear it is a learning process. What I am curious about though is what specifically are Jack’s powers. We know that one day he will be more powerful than his father. We know he has some angelic powers – he can teleport, bullets and knifes don’t hurt him etc. Unlike angels though you can’t banish him. He sleeps, even if he doesn’t sleep as much as humans. He eats and he seems to enjoy food. It is a mix between angelic powers and human needs. Then again he asked Cas to heal the security guard, even though we know that Jack can technically heal people, after all he saved his mother in 12x19, so we might see him exploring more powers in the future.

The most interesting part though is his power to open portals to other worlds, and the fact that he had the power to reach Cas in the Empty, a place where even God had no power. This made me wonder if the Empty perhaps exists outside of reality? And God’s powers only have access in places in our reality – earth, heaven, hell, purgatory, the veil. Could it be that every universe/reality has their own God? If there are different versions of the archangels, why not God? We know that Lucifer from our universe still has his powers in the AU world. But what if there is only one Empty, existing outside of all those realities? And only Jack, Death and the reapers have access to it? Does that make Jack more powerful than God?

Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly Fond of Each Other

(What did you think all them saddles and boots was about?)

So, after Dean said “I do” under a giant neon cross, I think it is fair to say that travelling to Doge City and dressing up as cowboys was Dean and Cas’s honeymoon?

I’m still in awe and wonder how obvious all the Destiel stuff was. Not just in this episode, during the whole season so far. It is the main topic with all my meta peeps here, because we still can’t believe that after years of digging deep through the subtext the show is now so blatant about Destiel. After 13x05 everyone and their mother said that Cas was presented as the win Dean so desperately needed, and now he textually confirms it, calling Cas even a “pretty big win”. Dean’s whole attitude and behaviour has changed, in the way that 13x05 and 13x06 almost work as a pair to show is exactly what the main difference is between the two episodes and Dean’s emotional state. I mean their mom is still trapped and Jack is still a potential danger, and this episode marks the first time he killed someone, even if it was only an accident. We expected to hear the “I told you”-speech from Dean, instead he is reaching out to Jack and takes care of his mess. Why? Because of Cas. Because Jack brought back Cas, and for the first time Dean can acknowledge the effort Jack applied.

It was in character that we didn’t get a great speech of Dean talking about his feelings (like I said, Jack already expressed what Dean felt). We are not at the point of the story yet where Dean is ready to use his words, though sooner or later he has to. Instead we got the car scene and the usual bickering between Cas and Dean, and it is only then that Dean admits how happy he is that Cas is back. It was very lighthearted and sweet and it again confirmed that Dean and Cas have a relationship off-screen (the movie Dean made Cas watch, the fact that Cas knows that Dean is an angry sleeper etc). Also, my new headcanon is that Metatron didn’t like Western movies, so they weren’t part of all the popculture knowledge he gave Cas. Dean might missed his chance to introduce Cas to Star Wars, but he will do his best to show Cas his favourite Western movies. All of them.

Wild Wild Dead

The case of the week was rather simple. There was a recurring theme of “things that look like other things”. In 13x02 we had with Asmodeus a shapeshifting demon, in 13x03 we had a wraith who looks human and 13x04 featured two actual shapeshifters and an ancient cosmic entity that took the form of our favourite angel. And we started this episode with Dean asking Cas if it is really him. It doesn’t take a big step to figure out that identity will be a big theme this season. Jack of course still struggles with his own, trying to find out who he is. And then of course we have the AU world or maybe even worlds, with a potential infinite amount of doppelgängers of characters we know.

We also have two characters coming back from the dead – Cas literary, and the ghoul who impersonates someone who died a long time ago. Both lose the one they wanted to protect – Cas loses Jack, Dave loses Athena. I’m not sure if this parallel was on purpose because Dave and Athena’s relationship wasn’t anything like the one between Jack and Cas. The first one was romantic and quite unhealthy, the second a parent-child-relationship, based on support. I also wonder if Athena was aware that her boyfriend was a ghoul? She seemed to know about the grave robberies and I thought for a moment she provided him with food, but she was surprised to find out he wasn’t exactly human, so.

Another character that was somehow paralleled/ associated with Dean was the Sergeant. The officer who was killed was his nephew; not his actual so, but still someone very close to him. Getting revenge for him was family business, to make it even more obvious. And he stated twice that he would kill the one responsible for his nephew’s death. And that is somehow problematic. I think it was perhaps part of the Western theme to show people who take the law in their own hands, with blazing guns and only one of them surviving. Still he was an officer of the law, and unlike Dean and the others he didn’t know at first that a monster was responsible for his nephew’s death. The show morally justified that hunters can kill monsters, if they have killed, because there is no monster prison. But there is no justification for humans to kill other humans, especially not officers of the law who should know better. The first monstrous humans though on the show have all been killed by officers of the law though (Pa Bender by Deputy Kathleen Hudak in 1x15 and Pete Sheridan by Detective Diana Ballard in 2x07). Sergeant Phillips is portrayed as a hero by the narrative, that he kills the monster in the end feels justified, but it shouldn’t.

Dean seemed also very calm when the ghoul aimed his gun at his head. Perhaps because he knew that Billie would bring him back, because he is important? Interesting though “stabbed by a ghoul in a graveyard” was one of Dean’s potential deaths (I wonder if we will also get to see almost burned by a red haired witch and almost died by a heart-attack). After the ghoul is dead Dean takes care of Jack’s mess and is back to his usual “we were never here and we lie about what we do”-attitude. In contrast to 13x01 where he openly told the Sheriff that he is a hunter, because he no longer cared about anything. Now that Cas is back he does.

Some other things:

- Did nobody in town recognize Dave Mather? Did they all think it was just a great coincidence the undertaker’s new boyfriend looked exactly like the old west dude?

- Speaking of, why is nobody ever suspicious about their aliases? Texas ranger Val Kilmer? Seriously?

- Nina Lopez-Corrado, the director of the episode, smuggled herself in the episode twice: with Athena’s last name (Lopez) and again with the giant “Lopez” on top of the mausoleum in the graveyard.

- Does Sam like Amanda Palmer? He seemed interested. Adding this to my (very short) list of music Sam likes.

- The episode had great soundtrack choices.

- I’m still worried about Jack though. I hope he packed some lunch.

Until next week <3

[villedelisa]

“The Secret Keepers,” 2018, acrylic on 36″x36″ stretched canvas

First and foremost, I want to heap praise and gratitude upon everyone who participated in this game, in any way!!!  Whether it was as a full-bore participant (you know who you are, rockstars!), or as a partial participant (who still created gorgeous art, btw!) or as a much-loved and much-appreciated cheerleader/follower, we created a beautiful mutually supportive international online community!  That was the best and most unexpected gift of this game!!!  I am humbled by the responses I got to my little invitation, and I am thrilled to be in the company of an ever-widening group of diverse and incredible artists.

[for more details on the Instagram #31daysofpainting game in May, please read my last post, from April 28.  Also, please visit my Insta feed @lisapalmerart and the hashtag #31daysofpainting, to see more about it]

I promised a prize to everyone who successfully participated, and last week I was able to make good on that promise.  I created little 3×4 original abstract paintings and sent them to those artists.  It was surely a labor of love, in that I feel I know them all quite well at this point, even though the majority I’ve only met online.  Here are some of them:

I’ve been hesitant to wrap up the incredible #31daysofpainting journey with a blogpost, for many reasons.  Aside from the fact that my architecture work life has lately gotten very time-consuming, I’ve been hemming and hawing over how much I want to talk about the painting I produced during that game.  Because it became something so big, an unexpected wallop to my soul, and a thing I find hard to describe.  I was very intentional in NOT having any expectations as to what I would make, other than paint on canvas.  This was a meditative, intuitive practice for me, so healing and refreshing in that most of the time my left brain was completely turned off.  The fact that it took a turn from a colorful abstract to representational images surprised me.  But I just kept going.  It flowed through me.  It was pure magic.  I wasn’t leading it, I was walking beside it, and I didn’t question all the sharp turns it took.  Every day was a new day, until about day 25, when I finally understood what it was all about and why I was tasked with painting it.  So now I’ll attempt to walk you through the highlights, as they unfolded….

The first 6 days were all about playing with color and abstracts……

Then for no apparent reason a tree line appeared.  On day 10 a face and a river started to emerge.  By the end of day 13, the face became a mask…….

Then something very unexpected happened.  I turned the painting sideways (no idea why, I never ask why, right brain in charge) and painted a mysterious beautiful face, in a realistic manner, completely out of the style of the rest of the painting.  She appears to be weeping, sad or in pain.  She was so powerful that I realized the rest of the painting needed to evolve to match her poignancy.  So the mask became another face, this one looking sideways.  And the feelings of avoidance and secrecy became clear to me.  By the end of the third week, a third face started to emerge at the top, and a river runs through it all…….

The third face is looking down, in shame perhaps?  Again, no direct eye contact.  The river started splitting into waterfalls.  And on day 26 there’s a sunrise.  Now I knew what this painting was all about….

It’s an allegorical painting of darkness and light, of despair and hope.  It’s a timely representation about women who have been preyed upon, and yes, it’s dedicated to all my fellow #metoo sufferers.  Look away, look down, cry, deny, pretend it’s not happening, living with shame and secrets, not being believed or taken seriously, isolated, loss and disassociation, living with sadness, confused, losing jobs, feeling powerless, being at the mercy of others, losing friends, losing family, not wanting to rock the boat, afraid to speak truth, afraid to trust, not wanting be be open and vulnerable.  Living in a world of beauty while feeling detached and not present to it.  Yet being connected to all the other people who have been prey, by a long endless river.  This is no way to live.

Now that the theme was clear to me, I had a few more days to add to the painting to make sense of the story.  Because it is also a story of hope, wisdom, life, freedom, connection and empowerment.  A new day.  Trusting our innate wisdom while existing in our shadow side, so an owl and the moon emerged.  The waterfalls became ferocious and dynamic, symbolic of our capacity for resilience and redemption.  And finally, on the last day, a beautiful red rose right in the center, a symbol of love, beauty and martyrdom.

WHOA!!!!  Not my usual subject matter.  I tend toward uplifting images, happy and poignant.  I paint intuitively, attempting to express feelings of positivity and beauty.  But this became so much bigger than my usual.  It is a very important piece for me, definitely a touchstone in my creative journey.  Cathartic and healing.

Thank you to my angel friend D’Wana, who named this painting before I even explained to her what it was about.  Because she knows.  I am beyond grateful that the #metoo movement has emerged, FINALLY, in my lifetime.  Because it truly has become a cultural shift in our society.  To me it is the greatest revolution of my lifetime.  I hope and pray ALL victims of sexual predators feel empowered to speak up now, in the moment, before or during or after assault or harassment, speak to someone they trust, now that the veil of secrecy has been lifted.  In my day, when I was preyed upon, I was not believed, or I was told to get over it and just “move on”.  Basically, just shut up about it.  I estranged myself from certain branches of my extended family, I left good jobs (20 years apart, mind you!), my life was upended a couple times, and I suffered in mostly silence alongside other women who, like me, knew no one cared.  There was no recourse, no moral punishment of the aggressors by our communities.  It was the way things were, the way they had “always” been, and we were expected to accept it (“boys will be boys”).  We have seen so many examples in the media of brave men and women who are speaking the truth, reclaiming their power, seeking some justice, even years later, and even in the face of some cynical criticism. The truth is so much more powerful than any idiotic punditry now, and for that I am especially grateful.  The fact that people are being believed and accepted, and that some of the perpetrators are feeling the power of justice finally served, well, I am in awe.

May the light of truth continue to spread its beauty over all of us!!!!

And so in celebration, please enjoy this slide show of the entire 31 days of the evolution of my painting…………..

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The response and enthusiasm for this game were so overwhelming that we’re going to do it again!!!  Please join us, it’s open to one and all, beginners and experienced artists alike.  All you need is a desire to have fun playing with paint!  If you look through all the posts on the #31daysofpainting feed, you’ll see the works ran the gamut!  So much beauty, so much growth.  And everyone had so much fun!!

We’re going to do a shorter one in July, #15daysofpainting that starts exactly 4 weeks from today, on July 15.  And then we’ll do another 31 days again in October.  Make sure to sign up for my newsletter (here on the right) to keep up with the simple rules and updates and tips for success.  I would SO LOVE to have you join us!!!!

#31daysofpainting RECAP "The Secret Keepers," 2018, acrylic on 36"x36" stretched canvas First and foremost, I want to heap praise and gratitude upon everyone who participated in this game, in any way!!!  

[abiteofnat]

GOT OUR NASH(FILL) OF NASH(VILLE)...

Because if there was a thing to be eaten in this city, boy did we eat it. They like to do it big in the south and I was not prepared for just hOW big our three days in Nasty Nash would be, from the food to the people to the number on the thermometor. Luzi and I took a tour-de-midwest adventure by way of MegaBus to the land of Johnny Cash in the late summer weeks when we believed good weather and positive thinking was fleeting, as once school picks back up fun is a fallacy, especially because three months ago I was sitting in an arena surrounded by the best & brightest peers with tequila bottles hidden up their graduation gown sleeves and I believed I HAD DONE IT. The four years of education that were truly some of the best of my life had ended, and I was so proud to walk out a scholar... until last week when graduate classes began and I found myself back in those same rooms with the same familiar dread of 7:15 p.m., when every student goes to Chipotle on our break and comes back with a full-on burrito bowl meal that we ALL get to enjoy with them. Really. I love school.

But we needed this last hurrah. 

So nine hours later and hundreds of miles seen through MegaBus windows, some McDonald’s consumed along the way for road trip posterity, we tumbled out into the late afternoon sun of NASHVILLE! Step number one: get to the Airbnb and drop off our suitcases and wash our smelly selves. Step number two: EAT SOME FRIED FOOD AND HEAR AT LEAST 1-5 FIDDLES. 

We chose our first spot, ACME Feed & Seed, due to multiple suggestions to check it out and because it’s a four-story bar alongside the river. Um, that sounded ideal. And it was. We ordered fried green tomatoes with pimento cheese and remoulade along with a deep-dish cherry cobbler toped with vanilla bean ice cream as our intro dinner, and found a place to sit amidst the dark, crowded scene of the first floor. There was a live band playing excellent songs that the crowd seated at tables and along the extensive bar were vibbing with, and while we snacked on the most incredible candied cherry and whole-grain oatmeal topped cobbler we slowly realized we did it; our yolo trip had begun!!! There’s a weird part of traveling where you don’t really believe you’re at the destination until a couple hours later and the travel has worn off, and then suddenly you’re just present in the location and the moment and it’s exhilarating. We looked at each other and the devil was in our eyes and that night went from chill tomatoes & beer to DRANKS at the three-story bar smack dab in the middle of Lower Broadway, a soon-to-be home base for us called Honky Tonk. 

Honky Tonk is where you go for loud live music, people singing along with that live music, tons of open balconies and tables and dance floors, and cheap-ish drinks that allow you to have a wild evening should you be open to that. We fell in love on the spot and a drink called a “Yee-Haw” became my #1 beverage of choice, and both guys that offered to buy me a drink looked entirely stricken that they had to order a “Yee-Haw” instead of a “Can I get a, uh, Bud Light? Yeah. Bud Light. That sounds manly.” 

The top floor is where it’s at, as they play only well-known but kinda old country music and you get a full view both directions on Broadway. The bright neon lights and exceptional masses of people really did make it seem like THE place to be, and so we stayed. For three nights. Along with checking out other bars, of course. 

Food wise, this trip was remarkable. We tried a little bit of everything whenever we could, and here are my top top places for Nashville noshing. 

1. Barista Parlor 

Barista Parlor is the exact kind of coffee shop you want to find in a city of hipsters, music, metal, and heat. This giant factory/warehouse turned “parlor” was cool in every way: quiet, dim-lit, full of fun knick-knacks and decor, and had a gorgeous wooden floor with the logo carved into it. 

The coffee was incredible, and my iced latte was served in that type of glass that makes everything taste a little bit trendier. We had heard of Five Daughters bakery and their hundred-layer donuts, so given the opportunity to snag the last chocolate one they had RIGHT THERE we had to take it. This crisp, hand-pulled espresso in almond milk along with a REAL, fried-to-the-extreme donut proved to be a heart-stopping breakfast. Like, do not eat one of these donuts if you have a history of heart disease. But holy wow, it was incredible. It was greasy and chocolate-y and somehow still flaky like a croissant, and the glaze on top was genuine milk chocolate melted down and dripped all over. Barista Parlor won over my corporate- America barista heart, and should I ever move to Nashville I’m taking my barista skills there to go up a level. 

Luzi approved!

2. Five Daughters Bakery

Ok this bakery was the damn cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It has pink, it has green, and it looks like every preppy brand teamed up to make gluttonous food for fashionable lil people. The area where this place is located is where Draper James (Reese Witherspoon’s store) is, and the murals that make the city of Nashville so very Instagram-able. We’re talking “I Believe in Nashville” and the blue + white stripes that make for a very dynamic photo. There are a million tiny stand-alone boutiques, coffee stops, and trendy places to buy a candle so if you have an afternoon to burn this is your area. After donut #2 of the day of the same variety (even though they have a dozen + types of donuts to choose from), we stopped at Frothy Monkey for a caffeine pick-me-up. 

3. Frothy Monkey 

Luzi was like a kid in a candy store when we made it here, because this place was her #1 to visit and I was so happy we stumbled upon it! This location near Five Daughters is like a house turned coffee-shop fort, and it’s incredible cozy inside and out. Tables were hard to snag but we got one right on the front porch and sat like a couple of oldies just watching the people go by and enjoying yet another perfect latte. Nashville knows how to do coffee very well. We went back the morning before our MegaBus home departed and it was just as cute and good at a different location, and they appeared to offer huge beautiful breakfasts if you wanted to sit in a more formal dining area. A coffee house that can also serve up a mean omelette? Hell yes. 

4. Biscuit Love

After a long night of debauchery and all-around YOLO moments Luzi and I greeted the day with sunglasses and a hunger for heavy southern food that frightened us both, so off to The Gulch for biscuits and cheese and hopefully a lot of butter. We waited in the fast-moving line along with bachelorette parties galore, adorable young families, and bros just looking to brunch and it was clear that is area is up n’ coming as a top young people living spot. Biscuit Love was an adorable cafe with a straightforward but intriguing menu circling around, you guessed it, biscuits and gravy and all those good things. We both got a biscuit with eggs and cheese and some iced coffee, and WOW that was just what the doctor warned against. The biscuits were huge and fluffy, moist to the middle but with a crunchy outside, and the eggs were folded to be eaten sandwich style should you wish. The inside is a very basic “country-chic” feel and offers the right amount of cute but practical that one wishes for when they’re eating a cheesy biscuit in the most elegant way they can. I was a big fan and would for sure return to try whatever else isn’t slathered in non-vegetarian gravy! 

5. Martin’s BBQ! 

This place stole the show for me. A very kind dad recommended it to us on the first night and we were hesitant because there’s always caution when a fifty year old man chooses to talk to two young women at a bar packed with people our age, but once we arrived at some real authentic BBQ I was thrilled. As I am a pro at making meals out of sides we got deviled eggs, mac & cheese, coleslaw, and some herb-pancake that was far too delicious for how cheap it was to sample. Luzi got the fried chicken that I drooled over from across the table, but the sides were all amazing and it was my absolute favorite meal we had there. The interior of this place is like a giant covered beer garden with tons of picnic and hightop tables and then trees and foliage all over, completed with bars and arcade style games once you move further inside. It’s loud, smoky, casual, and yet so perfect for a beer and some homestyle food. Plus, it’s only a couple blocks from Broadway so after you’re done and dawn has turned to dusk you just wander over to the nutty part of town for the night! 

Honorable mentions include: the Florida Georgia Line bar that’s across from the Johnny Cash Museum; it has an excellent rooftop and by day is perfect for day drinking while at night turns into a RODEO of sorts. Plus their food in the lower levels is actually delicious and they play country music videos on the walls the whole time. Man I love country music and greasy food put together. Also, The Little Octopus offers a fancier evening setting if that’s what you’re looking for, with healthy & delicious tapas-style options such as fried yukka with aioli and rice and beans topped with a spicy tomato sauce. We treated ourselves on our last night out and got a flavor-filled, high class experience there that let us reflect on our time in Nash and get really emo about leaving. In 72 hours we really really fell in love with that city, from our sketchy but lovely Airbnb to everyone that kept asking “BUT WHERE’S THE REST OF YOUR GROUP” when they refused to believe it was just two of us doin’ a girl’s trip. 

Would I go back? Absolutely. By way of the Megabus? Nope. But it was an excellent experience, and Nasty Nash filled our tummies & souls. 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie