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ronearoundblindly · 2 years ago

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Yes, I do know that feeling...which is probably why I sat on this truly wonderful comment for a couple weeks.

I've come back and reread it a bunch of times because, holy shit, does it feel great to have someone really get what you've worked hard to do.

In reality/canon, Ransom is probably a full-blown, unredeemable asshole, but I've always had sympathy for the actual experience of how characters developed that way. His parents are hands-off, emotionally distant, and downright cruel in their indifference. They expect loyalty for nothing and are privileged to the Nth degree. Of course, Ransom would never escape learning all those behaviors, and it would take a significant amount of time and immersion to have him see there's a different way to act.

That's where Reader comes in, and Ran thinks he knows. He thinks he can read people because he can read people like him. He's not exposed to people unlike him because wealth is practically a closed system. It breeds the same type of people over and over again. Reader has to be a hybrid, basically, and that's what I always thought of Harlan as.

Harlan came from nothing (sorta) but kept his connection to 'average folk,' he fostered relationships with Marta and his staff, and he kept a respectful understanding of what money changes in others. Harlan sees that Ransom is capable but lazy. He doesn't try because he doesn't have to, and so like a muscle that's never used, Ran's weak this way.

He gets tired and frustrated with you, but it feels good to challenge himself. It's like a runner's high. He's accomplishing something. He has this amorphous, ambiguous goal of getting you--of understanding you.

He gets there, and that would be enough except for canon gave me the perfect opportunity to make that fucker walk on land after only swimming the ocean floor his whole life. Damnit, it was fun, too. Ran's such a little whiny shit even when he's up for the challenge...

Absolutely, Reader says 'yes,' but I don't know about Lil'Hughs. I'd never thought about it. I obviously think way too much about this, so I'll have to get back to you on that one. Just know that I'm probably forever changed by your lovely words because, ya know, after building this shit up in my mind for six months and then painstakingly molding 32,000 words around the idea, I was really hoping it made fucking sense to someone. And it did! So yay \o/

oh my god i think i inadvertently convinced myself this is happening...

The Root Of All Ransom (Finale)

Ransom Drysdale x rich!Reader (see series or previous)

Summary: Ransom figures out how to undo his disinheritance.

Warnings for language (I'm never kidding about how many f-bombs this boy drops), smut (blowjob, p in v sex that is consensually unprotected, general smuttery), vague contemplations of murder but we ain't going the canon route. MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY. There is plenty else for you to read on my Light Masterlist. This is not your story!

I have somehow managed to put Ransom Drysdale deep in his feels. This is only OOC if you haven't read up to this point, but we do end on a soft!Ransom note. WC 6954 (oh my fucking wat???)

Ransom huffs out a foggy breath in the night air, cold in more ways than one. All the windows glow from the mansion, yet it looks completely different in light of what Harlan’s done.

Thrombey Manor is his birthright. He doesn’t love the architecture or the eccentric layout. He hates the furniture. He’s never really enjoyed anything about the place. It’s the polar opposite of his own house, but it was his in a way, part of his status, part of his baseline of existence. He’s not prepared for any other eventuality. Ransom built his life on a perfectly stable bridge that some idiot just blew up with C4.

No, no, not some idiot. His own family. The only member of his family he would think could never do this to him. Fuck Harlan.

Ran’s been flying high on a lie, and the magic money carpet’s been ripped away.

He has one lifeline, one option he’s grasping onto.

If he can manage this, nothing will change. He won’t lose the allowance. He won’t lose you. You’ll never know how unworthy he is. He can just have everything and never speak of this again.

Harlan. Marta. Inheritance. Killing two birds with one liquid stone.

Ran could do it. He will do it, but you cannot know. He can’t have you around. He has to push, to start giving you a safe distance, to leave you plausible deniability. If you suspect, you’ll leave him anyway.

If he succeeds, worst case? He’s rich and alone. If he does nothing? He’ll be poor and alone.

One of those scenarios used to be acceptable, but not now, not anymore.

Pushing you away tonight might be the last time you ever look at him without pity, and he’s not ready for how heavy that sits in his roiling gut. He has to though. He has to make you leave, if only for the rest of the night—but it might be forever, his brain reminds him. Fucker. It’s not like Ran’s pleasant to be around. Getting away from him shouldn’t be a hard sell.

When you emerge from the house, however, what he hoped would sound sharp and dismissive sounds oddly open-ended.

“You could just walk from here,” he tries wishfully.

True to form, beautiful, pissed-off you sidesteps his expectations.

You take his coat, your coat, and the Birkin to the passenger’s side with a ferocious look.

“Get in the car,” you manage through tight lips.

Fuck. He misses you already. He hasn’t given up. He won’t, but his center of gravity is gone. He’s reeling from this.

Hugh Ransom Drysdale revolves around money.

His whole life he has stretched wide and greedy limbs to capture numbered, green rays of meaning. He hasn’t only lost the light of his sun now. No. Nuclear winter has just stripped him bare and knocked him on his ass. Ran cannot articulate all the reasons he’s so upset.

He values you and him together for relatively selfish reasons. From all he’s seen, you don’t need any more people in your life that exist so far below you. You don’t need ‘help.’ You need an equal, a free and independent equal. Ran isn’t even fucking close anymore.

With a stroke of a pen, he’s now dependent. It’s pathetic. If he stays without even the means to be your not-quite-equal, then he’s everything he hates. He’ll be clingy. He’ll be needy. He’ll be in the way. He’ll finally do it; he will annoy you.

He will bore you.

What a fucking world.

You snap him out of his dashboard stare.

“Do you want to talk about it now or at home?”

“Neither,” he quips easily. “I’ll drop you at the Carlyle’s.”

His eye twitches at his faux pas. You don’t have to correct him. He knows it’s your place, your name, your property, and your right to claim. He doesn’t need reminding.

His key twists in the ignition just as your hand comes up to his shoulder.

He can’t even glare at you properly because a tap rings off his window pane. Both of you jump in alarm because night fell hours ago. Who sneaks up on a car in the fucking dark?

Ran’s father is fucking who. Of course. The window peels down, and Ransom feels as if the last seconds of his life are draining away after the plug’s been pulled.

“Trouble in paradise, you two?” Dick asks with cheeky concern.

“No, Mister Drysdale,” you say politely, no hint of insincerity in your smile.

“Richard, please, honey. You’re practically family.”

Smug asshole, do NOT call her ‘honey.’

“Eat shit,” Ransom mutters overly loud again, but your sudden slow grip on his kneecap tells him to behave. Ol’ Dick has no right to call you ‘honey’ though. Ran’s not even sure what he’s allowed to call you, and he’s pissed, sure. He’s…something else, too; he’s obedient beneath your hand.

Richard ignores Ran’s attitude. “Listen, son, I just wanted you to know that whatever happens, your mother and I will always love you. In case…ya know, in case you ever doubted, and…well, we’re family. We stick together.” He even gives Ran a squeeze on the shoulder for emphasis.

Ransom has no fucking clue what his father intends with that entirely useless statement but doesn’t fucking care. “You know what?” He’s about to lunge out the window to choke that fucking prick. “Definitely eat shit.”

Your grip tightens, and Ran’s insides clench, knowing he toes a line.

“We should really go,” you add with a now painful, strained civility.

“Okay, you crazy kids,” Richard pats his heavy hand on the door frame. “Thanks for coming to the party and we’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Of course, Richard.”

Ransom rolls the window back up without looking at you. That sure as shit was not his father’s reaction to Harlan throwing millions at Marta fucking Candelabra. He can’t be near these people anymore, so Ran slams his foot on the gas, peeling out of the driveway, and scattering gravel in his wake.

Your sigh releases with the pressure on his knee. “I suspect it’s about his affair.”

As if that narrows it down. “Which one?”

“The first one as far as your grandpa knows,” you snort, “which hopefully Linda buys too from the way you’ve talked about it. Jesus, really? Slow down!”

Ran doesn’t want to slow down. The car is finally catching up to his racing thoughts and a plan coalescing. If Harlan knows about Richard’s affair, then his mother will absolutely divorce him, leaving Dick with nothing—and if you know that Harlan knows about it then—

“Hugh—” the hand has slid from his knee to his crotch, the heel of your palm gently digging into the stiff fabric of his jeans “—we should have taken care of you before…”

Fuck, that feels good.

You’re right, of course. Ran really should have planned a few minutes of privacy for you both to get off after the airport. Not that it’d have to be private for him (parking lot, terminal, or tarmac—he wouldn’t fucking care), but the thought flashes in his mind like the bright spots behind his eyelids that he might not get to fuck you again. That’s profoundly upsetting, and your grip on the outline of his swelling cock is profoundly distracting.

He swats at your arm, blood rushing to his tension-white knuckles only for a second, but you simply swivel in the seat to change hands, dragging down his zipper.

“Sweetheart“ slips out. Is he allowed to say that anymore? He should still act normal, right? Except he’s been a raging mess for a quarter-hour already and oh fuck. “What are you…”

Ran’s been wrong this whole time: you are a road head bitch.

He’s so taken aback by your spit-slicked lips cooly brushing the head of him that he nearly elbows your spine. The car swerves slightly as he strains to collect himself, to think of just one other thing instead of your fucking tongue sliding down his length to tease at his still-covered balls and—

Mother of fucking mercy, he has to pull over.

Only by some miracle, some blessed (or horrible) gap in his distraction, is he able to consciously choose parking off the lane just beyond the menagerie elephant statue because, otherwise, that pervy-ass groundskeeper could relive his long-forgotten past of grainy porn. Because that’s what this is turning into. Pornographic is the only way to describe the choked grunt Ran finally lets out as he slams on the brake and you snap the car into park just to get the gear shift out of your way.

“I’m only here three days,” you say around a mouthful of cock, bobbing a few more times before switching to your hand. “I’m not letting you ruin it by being fucking baby.”

“I’m not—fuck—“ he’s not expecting you to climb over him in the cramped car “—you don’t understand.”

“So you don’t want me right now?”

He shakes his head furiously, half in hope of collecting genuine thought, half in desperation for you to continue.

Space is so limited between Ran’s body and the steering column that your bent knees pin his arms to the door and the console. It should hurt but fuck if he’s gonna say anything while he watches you peel your panties to the side and line yourself up.

“Gah, you just—“ he pants as his heart rate spikes. Instead of putting him in you, Ran’s paralyzed to stop two of your fingers from sinking into your soaked pussy. You’re drooling for him, mouth and cunt, and goddamn, he is so torn between pounding you into next week or tossing you out of the car to get on with his plan.

It’s about an 80/20 split in favor of fucking you.

And then he thinks…yeah, he could definitely get off and get you to the Carlyle’s—your place—in time to sneak back. So he just lets go, shoving his face forward to capture your lips, enjoying the wet sounds as you prep for him, and eating up your moans and curses. He knows you’re purposefully dragging your knuckles against his dick as you bring them out with each stroke. Why are you so fucking hot? Why can’t he just have this without Harlan’s help?

He’s dependent.

Ran realizes he always was, but he fucking hates it.

Removing your fingers makes the bunched-up dress pool over your hips and graze his raging erection. Great, now your spit and his precum are smeared all over your clothes. Normally, that wouldn’t bother him. Normally, that would be even hotter. Now, Ran wonders how much that damn thing costs because he never even looked; he just knew it suited you.

A steady grip at his base and suddenly Ran can’t wonder about any fucking thing under the sun. Your walls welcome him inch by inch like he’s goddamn worthy of that silky squeeze, but he can’t say shit. All he can manage is craning his neck forward to mouth over your nearest breast, arms still pinned. Fuck it. More fluids on the dress. If you don’t care, he doesn’t care. Maybe. Maybe he’ll just care later. Maybe he’ll learn to look at the cost of things. Maybe he won’t have to when he succeeds at fixing this dumpster fire of a situation.

His teeth graze against a barely felt but hard-peaked nipple, and you gasp out another moan. You have to shift to wedge your leg down by his side and repeat with the other one. One of his forearms is tingling, asleep, so he switches his mouth around and uses the functioning arm to play.

You’re moving so slow, too slow.

“You fucking love to mess with me,” Ran growls, all but biting through the layers before yanking at the neckline, savoring the plush skin he exposes. “Love fucking me,” he mutters again.

“Yeah, baby, why do you think that is?” You use the name so condescendingly and roll your hips so deliberately that Ransom bites back a ‘fuck you,’ instead forcing out a strangled whine. You just drag yourself up and down until he answers, pushing his t-shirt and an errant tail of his cardigan out of the way. Your fingers gently scratch the flat plain of his abs.

“Say it.”

He knows the answer. He’s known for a while, but that’s not something Ran’s ever gonna be ready for. It’s just already the truth.

It’s as soft as a hum against your skin.

“Say it, Hugh. Tell me why.”

He can tell by how you’re getting sloppier with your movement, by how hard you grind forward against him, that you’re close.

“Because you love me.” Ran winces at how desperate he sounds. It’s almost a cry, but he can’t really resist repeating it. “You love me.”

Your hands bury in his hair, and he’s literally covered in you while trapped in this fucking steam room of a car. He can’t control anything he’s doing.

“You love me,” he says again.

“Yes.”

“You love me.”

“Fuck, yes, baby.”

You’re fluttering around his cock like a dream, shouting encouragement, and it just slips out.

“I love you.”

He has no idea if you even hear him because you come so hard that your back bends, slamming you against the steering wheel.

The horn blares in the quiet woods.

You wait for him to yank you forward and erupt into sated giggles while Ran is a whole different kind of paralyzed, hiding his face in your chest for as long as you’re simmering without care.

Your fingers card through sweaty hair, your heartbeat slowing more than his does.

“Think you need this,” you say in a breathy whisper. You pull away to cradle his face.

He’s terrified you’re gonna ask. You’re gonna want him to say it again, he thinks, and Ran’s not sure he can with your eyes boring into his, knowing what he knows, being what he is until the will is void.

“I want you to come, Hugh.” Your thumb traces across his bottom lip, gaze following before it flickers back up.

You sound so fucking innocent while your slick is smeared all over his low belly and seeping through his underwear. His boxers are kinda in the way but kinda immovable while in such cramped quarters. Pushed aside, they hinder only as much as your bunched-up panties do. Easy enough to live with.

You keep staring expectantly.

“Do you want me to stop—“ fuck NO “—or will you give me what I want?”

Ran’s whole chest clenches, and it’s only because he slams his mouth to yours that you can’t see his eyes roll in fucking ecstasy. Perfect. You’re goddamn perfect. He couldn’t deny you anything much less this, and he knows that if this is the last time, he has to take advantage.

Sliding down slightly on the seat (because everything operates in centimeters at most this close), he takes two giant handfuls of your ass and spreads you, lifting so he can thrust his hips up at a brutal pace. He doesn’t fucking care if his knees bang against unyielding metal. He doesn’t care that a vein in his neck might snap from strain. He just needs this one thing, and then he’ll let it go. He’ll be ready for whatever outcome Harlan’s death triggers.

Because Ransom needs money. He had money long before he had you. It’s what he needs the most in life. He loves money.

If losing you is what it takes to keep the money…

That’s the thought he can’t finish as control of the urge to come slips from his bruising fingers. His desire for his status quo is faltering. His equilibrium’s changed.

He does love money. He does.

Now, to Ran's surprise, he loves you, and he has no fucking clue how to love both. He doesn’t know if he can keep both.

But friction is friction. He’s surrounded by the feel and sound and smell of sex. It’s familiar and more than a little haunting to him if this is the last time, but Ran crests that mountain before any coherent thoughts form. He can’t trust himself to speak. He might repeat what he never should have said aloud.

The groan when he empties himself inside you is almost pained, swallowed immediately by your adoring and hungry kiss. He’s sweat straight through his t-shirt and his jeans are a fucking mess. Your dress is damp, stained, and wrinkled. You’re practically bonded to the leather seat, but he just absently runs the back of his fingers up and down your thighs while he comes down.

When you release his mouth, your arms settle across his shoulders, and he buries his face in your chest again, hiding, relishing, stalling.

Shit, he’s gonna miss this.

After a minute, you rest your forehead against his and lift your hips until his limp dick slides out of you. Through half-closed eyes Ran watches you bite your bottom lip, gnaw on it like he wants to, like he moves to—

“Is this about the will?”

Ran freezes.

“Did—Harlan told you, didn’t he?”

“WHAT THE SHIT.” Ran’s rage explodes, heaving you off of him and into the passenger’s seat. “YOU FUCKING KNEW?!”

He shoves himself back in his pants and scrambles for the damn zipper.

“Ransom, it’s fine. He just—“

“Why the fuck wouldn’t you warn me? Jesus FUCK.” He’s unlatched and kicked the door open before you even get a word out.

“Harlan is my friend and—“

But he slams it shut, leaving your words muffled while Ran fumes in damp fucking clothes in the frigid air.

His fists almost—almost—pound on the hood of his car as he bites out, “I could have killed him.”

Ran’s pacing toward the tree line when you finally shuffle from the beamer, pulling your dress back into place.

“Harlan’s my friend and he asked me in confidence if it made sense.”

“I’m sorry, he asked you? As in, my grandfather might not have done this if you hadn’t thrown me under the bus.”

“It wasn’t just about you.”

“It makes sense to leave me destitute? And you knew! You lying bitch,” he growls, immediately wishing the word hadn’t popped out, clawing at his scalp in a punishing attempt to think. “You watched me throw all that fucking money away and didn’t think I deserved to know?!“

“I’ve met you. Why would you listen to me about how to spend your money? That isn’t something you do, Ransom.”

“That’s not the point!” And stop calling me fucking ‘Ransom.’ “I can handle myself.”

“Then I guess your answer is ‘that’s how you spent the money,’ by choice.”

“I wasn’t given a choice. You lied to me. You’re the one who didn’t trust me.”

Your stalk forward in the dry leaves, stopping just outside of arm’s length away. “What the hell did I just say in there, huh? I love you. I said I love you, then you go and call me a bitch, so who’s the liar between us, huh? Who’s got trust issues?”

Ran’s face scrunches in distain. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Guess,” you spit back easily.

Well, he isn’t fucking saying it now. Fuck you. Fuck this. This is the worst-case scenario: poor and alone because if you know, he can never get away with his plan.

“Why do you always do that?” he growls with a venom that poisons no one but himself. “Why the fuck are you here then?” Why are you with him?

“I’m here to support my piece of shit boyfriend at a piece of shit family event because Hugh asked me to.”

Nope. The right name is wrong. It sounds much worse than he expected.

Ran doesn’t know what to do with all this sick energy churning in his gut except burn through it. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He doesn’t know what to do with his life.

“There it is. There’s the truth,” he yells, leaning into your face. “I know it. You know it. This isn’t going to work. We’re not the fucking same. We’re not even close—“

“I don’t want someone the same as me.”

“I’m a useless—”

“Ran.” Your hands fly to gently land on his face.

“—talentless—“

“Seriously, please.”

“—sack of shit and you—“

“HUGH!” The grip at his jaw slips as he jerks back.

Ran tenses, shoving his chilled fingers into his jean pockets, pushing the wet material in front away from his crotch. He goes awkwardly quiet.

Yelling. He remembers the yelling. He’s been comfortable with yelling for longer than he’s been comfortable with affection.

“For fuck’s sake, just shut up.” You cross your arms over you chest and shiver. “This. This bullshit is why I didn’t tell you, but so what? You don’t have your own money. How do you think Harlan and I started out?”

He gives a look that shouts back everything he can’t put into words.

“You’re not useless or talentless. You’re entitled. That’s all, and you can change that state of being pretty fucking easily.”

“How? What am I supposed to do? Be a houseboy who eats you out once a week?”

“A week? Well, I hope I pay better than that.”

“Oh, what the fuck,” he grouches.

You giggle. You fucking giggle at that. “You started these jokes!”

“You don’t have to rub it in—”

“—just rub it out, huh?”

He doesn’t want to laugh. It’s not funny. His fate isn’t a laughing matter, but like everything else tonight, he fucking fails. A smile twitches at his lips.

“Ok, asshole, you want to be useful? How ‘bout driving us home? I’m freezing.”

He starts to protest but is cut off by a flinging arm.

“If you don’t get in this damn car, you will be helping me balance to pee in those woods.”

“Fucking gross,” Ran whines.

“Yeah, well, your ability to self-access is appalling too,” you jovially clap back, “but we’re working with what we’ve got.”

Fair.

Savage but fair.

He frowns and follows you into the car.

You talk his ear off on the way to his house, but he isn’t in the least bit annoyed. He’s engrossed. It’s all a type of flattery Ransom can hardly fathom: honest praise.

“I was miserably alone before you.”

He wouldn’t have pegged that based on how he saw you at all those events, but now that he considers how you’ve opened up about your frustrations and the exhaustion of being the center of attention, it makes sense. Ransom takes attention away from you. He loves that shit. He doesn’t even care if it’s negative attention. Hide behind his broad back and shine that spotlight on him; he’s game.

“You know what people you pay to be around you—people who want something from you don’t do? Argue. No one has a real conversation. No one has an opinion contradictory to yours. No one calls you out on your shit. It’s so…”

“Boring,” he whispers without thinking.

There’s a long pause until you continue softly.

“No one calls me out on my shit except you, only you.“

Your hand finds his. Though your skin is cold, he’s warmed by the touch.

“So no, I don’t think my money will change anything. If money—mine or yours—were going to change you, it would have done it by now. I mean, sure, you could stand to be less of a dick sometimes, but you don’t have to. I already…”

Your voice trails off, and Ran knows. That’s just it. You love him and he’s a dick, the poor asshole who understands what the feeling is, the one who can’t say it, not on purpose, not yet. The tectonic shift in his life’s framework leaves him uneasy. As wonderful as you are, as perfect as this has been, he has to start over.

He has to build himself up from scratch. He’s been transplanted to an alien planet that he doesn’t have the means to make hospitable. Money was his means to everything. Money provided for him. Money protected him. Money separated him from others.

He never had space for two in his now-demolished castle of selfishness.

“I thought I’d be with someone so different from you,” you laugh without heart. “I’m��glad I was wrong.”

All he can manage is a squeeze of your hand.

“But Hugh, you’re proud of my success, not fucking threatened by it. You let me work, but you also know when I need a break and won’t take one. You’re devoted without being smothering because you have your own damn life, things you want to do. You aren’t intimidated by all this shit in my stupid world or the money. You don’t give a fuck what other people say.”

That’s true.

“You make me laugh,” you say quietly, and though he can’t see your face in the dark of the road leading to his neighborhood, he hears your smile. “You asshole.”

As he turns into the driveway, he glances over and winks. “I try my best, sweetheart.”

He watches that throwaway statement melt you, and then he realizes why.

Ransom trying to do absolutely fucking anything is a big fucking deal, and he has tried. He simply has no idea where to go from here.

He turns off the beamer and makes no move to get out.

“What am I supposed to do?”

Your hand releases his to glide up his arm and lace through his hair, lightly rubbing the base of his neck. “Help me,” you breathe.

“How the fuck would I help you?”

“Hugh,” you cock your head to the side, retracting both arms to brush your palms down the fabric of your (ruined) skirt, “you know damn well you’d like to control my whole wardrobe. You would do far better dressing me for all those functions than I do…and undressing me.”

He knows what you’re doing, but instead of smiling or laughing, he tightens his jaw and huffs. “Can I burn some of your—“ he does half air-quotes “—'wardrobe?'”

It’s so hideous. That one black dress you keep fucking wearing? No amount of dry cleaning will make that look new again. That’s getting flambéed.

You purse your lips. “Donate, but yes. I would consider that a huge help.”

“You’re serious.” Ran’s not sure whether he means it as a question or a statement.

“Yes. I am. Thank you for noticing.” You swivel to open the door. “Now, you can also help get my bag in while I use the restroom.”

The dance of readying for bed becomes you pointing out things you have now that you did not have before him. Taste being one of them, Ran thinks to himself. The important thing is he could say that to your face, but he’s strategically not pushing his luck tonight.

It’s true. Nearly every article of clothing and every toiletry now links back to his insistence that you have nice things that are for you, not just for life in general. You come before the rest of the world; you come before your work. That’s his gift. That’s what he’s good at, and you make it clear: you need him for that talent.

All of these nice things, all these reasons he seems good to you, and all this need for him have Ran feeling some sorta way when you crawl into his bed naked and reach to turn off the light.

He grabs your hand before you make it to the switch, forcing it back to the mattress, keeping you facedown. His heated breath and heavy body roll over you, teeth grazing your shoulder and moving slowly to your earlobe.

“You know what else I’m good for?”

His free hand slips between your thighs and finds what slick you couldn’t clean up. The knowledge that some of it is his cum still inside you makes Ran shudder. How would he ever have lived without this?

You sigh, your mouth falling open at the intrusion, and your eyelids flutter closed.

“Fuck,” you moan, high and quiet.

“That’s right, baby,” he hisses, mimicking your condescension from the car. Oh yeah, he’s gonna ruin more than that goddamn dress tonight.

He takes time to torture you with his fingers, his weight rendering you immobile. Ran sweeps falling hair out of your face with free reign to pepper open-mouthed kisses across the stretch of skin he’s claimed since that very first fuck.

You always knew what you wanted. He never thought you’d truly want him, certainly not for more than a day. After tonight, it’s inconceivable you want him still, yet here you are, burying your face in the sheets to muffle little cries as he humps your ass cheek to get harder and harder.

Good god, why do you want him? He fucked around, he yelled at you, he called you horrible names, he left you for weeks at a time in a foreign country alone, and yet you are here.

Then your words spring to mind. He argues with you. He has opinions. He makes you laugh. He treats you like the independent person you are. He treats you like your money doesn’t matter.

Because it didn’t to him.

Ransom realizes now that you treat him as if his money didn’t matter because it doesn’t to you. Nothing changed when you knew he wouldn’t have it anymore. Not a single thing. Somewhere over the last months, Harlan told you his plan, and the only perceptible difference to Ran was you falling in love with him.

Because you love him. He is so grateful he’s almost angry. You could do better. He can give you better.

By the time you come on Ran’s fingers, he’s completely feral thinking about all those little ways you showed your feelings, all the ways you showed him kind touch is not weakness. You also showed him that touch doesn’t have to be weak to be kind. He can be rough with his feelings for you, intense as they are. He can sink his cock into you, practically screaming that he loves you, too, but the words aren’t spoken.

He presses a thick forearm across your back to keep you pinned. He spreads his legs to widen yours. He thrusts in possessive and messy movements. No words escape. His range of motion is limited this way, but he gets all of your glorious noises. They’ve become his favorite sleep track. It’s hard for him to rest without hearing your happy, panicked pleasure beforehand.

You make desperate fists in the sheets and arch your ass up higher. He sees the unnatural strain in your body, all for him, all so he can have just that fucking tiny bit more of you.

He can’t stay in this position forever though. You’ll never come again like this, and he wants to see your face. The car was dark, but the lamp is still on. He can watch you fall apart with him deep inside.

“Turn,” he orders, enjoying how dazed and shaky you are as you struggle to control your muscles.

You’re a sight. Erratic breaths hardly settle your gasps. Pliable and ruined. Torn to whimpering pieces and stitched back together only to be split apart again.

He drinks in his handiwork, climbing slowly between your legs, delicately helping to cross your heels at his ass, and sinking back into your heat slowly, so slowly, like your teasing in the car.

“Hugh,” you mutter, and fuck, he has never heard you beg.

Ransom has always loved sex, but this is different. He meets your glazed eyes with floundering blue depths and wonders why he can’t just enjoy it as basic sex anymore.

He’s always loved money, too, and although he doesn’t want to take it from you, Ran feels the weight of your charity. Money was his sun, his whole world, but it was not enough. You provide more, warmth that lets him spread out in contentment, light that keeps him from withering.

Money doesn’t need his love; it’s indifferent.

You, on the other hand, you are fucking radiant, glowing and hot with his arm tucked beneath your shoulders to grab at your hairline. He makes you look at him. Your fingernails scratch at his back while your hips grind together.

“So beautiful,” he rumbles, nose almost touching yours. “Come on, sweetheart—“ Ran drops to lave kisses down your bared throat “—one more for me.”

This time, you have no words, only grunting uh and hng as he speeds up. Your noises get higher. Ran gets rougher, a brutal rhythm for a brutal realization.

He can’t hold back when he sees you like this; he’s gonna say it.

He gets close, so very close to breaking, but you fall first.

“Please—ah.”

You fucking writhe beneath him, your whole body spasming like your silky pussy ripples over the sensitive skin of his cock.

“That’s it,” he coos in your ear. “That’s right. Good girl.”

He has to chance meeting your eyes because he wants to see you unravel again. Ran always does whatever he wants.

He slows his hips to intermittent thrusts that sizzle your nerves over and over, pulling his arm out from under you to lift your chin. You’re open for him in every sense of the word, and he is fucked in every possible way.

He’s an amoeba of a man staring evolution in the face.

You’re his. It’s clear in the light that he owns you. He’s earned you, or at least, he’s trying to. That’s a big deal for Ransom Drysdale.

Quivering, your mouth hanging open, his thumb rolling over your swollen bottom lip, he gets one word.

“Daddy.”

Barely a whisper, partly a question, but mostly an invitation. He slides his thumb up into your mouth, only letting you suck on it for a moment before it drags out.

Ran never thought you’d ever say that. He never imagined you’d beg either. You’ve always known what you want and taken it. You have never needed anything from him.

“Please,” you say again, holding your mouth wider still.

Shit. He throbs at the prospect, and he’s too far gone to deny you this. He plants one small peck on your jaw before pulling out and clambering over your hips and chest.

“Ah fuck,” he moans when you suck on one of his balls, stroking him with a smooth and firm grip. “Love y—love your mouth…so much.”

Ran leans against his headboard, hand clamped over his trap in a desperate attempt not to blabber, but you continue. You’re in tune with when he’s ready, when you’ve taken the teasing far enough and he needs to come. His hips stutter to shove himself just a little farther down your throat. He collects his wits only enough not to choke you, muffling a cry.

You’re gentle with him as he loses his absolute shit trying to keep it together, thighs shaking, breath hindered, biting the fuck out of his hand.

“Sorry, I…” he tries.

“I…I—“ he tries again.

He just can’t fucking do it.

Ran digs his palms so hard into his eyes he sees stars. His chest is tight like it’ll explode any second. The relief of orgasm has evaporated instantly, and he just really fucking can’t.

“Hey, hey,” you soothe, shifting up onto your kneels behind him, “it’s okay.” Your warm arms encircle his chest, over one shoulder and under the other, and you pull his own pliable and ruined body toward you.

He collapses back on his heels, leaning against you.

“Hugh, it’s alright.” Your whisper makes his eyes sting. “I know.”

Ran raises his arms to hold your wrists. His head drops to kiss the back of your hand. He still stays silent.

“I know…”

Your bare legs stretch across his lap, and Ransom lets the hand warmed by his mug grasp your ankle gently. You’re off in your own mind, staring out the window of his living room, worrying your bottom lip. He watches while you don’t notice.

Ran never particularly liked the unknown, and after Harlan’s shit last night, he’s off surprises for a fucking lifetime. This, however, this with you, sitting in comfortable quiet, makes him feel perfectly at ease with an unsure future.

For someone so fascinating to him, you’re so normal.

Sure, you’re beauty trumps the view outside, you’re dedicated to your work, and you’re smart enough to run circles around anyone, but…

You’re just you, sitting with a hot drink on his couch in the morning, wearing one of his sweaters again. Could be a sixty-dollar sweater from a thrift shop—or six cents for all Ran knows about secondhand sales—or the six-hundred-dollar one that he stoopidly bought three weeks ago; it doesn’t matter to you. The only thing that matters to him now is who wears it. That garment means nothing without you in it.

You sip at your tea, and he follows, staring at you staring at the world.

You two spoke more about it last night in the dark about everything but that one little phrase that’s eating him alive, a tangled mess of yourselves and the sheets. Nothing has to change except where the money comes from. Ran gets what he’s wanted all along: control over your wardrobe and, essentially, your entire presentation to that world you’re staring out into. He is not, however, permitted to burn your favorite Little Black Dress, but for fuck’s sake he’ll get all of its seams checked and the damn thing refitted. He’s hoping if he makes enough fuss, you’ll choose to toss it just to shut him up.

Fucking rules. Ran hates rules. If you kept standards on par with your New Money maybe he’d follow your rules. He’ll get you in the good stuff: the good house with good furniture, the good clothing with good lingerie beneath, right down to the good wash and lotion.

You can keep your perfume. He likes your perfume.

Yes, he’ll get you into what he wants, when he wants, where he wants, and all that implies. Ransom always gets what he wants…because you let him.

It’s remarkable what you let him fucking do, too.

He slides his hand from your ankle to your knee, knocking you out of your reverie just in time for his phone to buzz.

He holds your legs to him while sneaking a glance at the screen. Linda. Fuck no, he’s not answering that. It’s not Sunday and he’s not ditching anything. Fucking wait. Fucking choke for all he cares.

Ran instead sets his nearly empty mug down beside your two phones on the coffee table and curls up in your corner of couch. You open your arms to tuck him into your chest, and sure, it’s cutesy and gross in a way that should make Ran want to gag, but who fucking cares when he’s this comfortable. He plants a kiss right on your nipple through the knit for fun, feeling you shiver, then listens to your heart.

His phone vibrates again, dancing closer to the stoneware he just put down.

His mother’s persistence is as admirable as it is annoying. Predictably, Ran’s bored by her usual shit and ignores it again.

Instead of pushing up his sweater to wrap an arm around your waist though, he shoves his now chilly fingers between your hot thighs and sighs. His ear rings with the airy sound of your laugh through flesh.

Then your phone dings, and he just fucking knows it’s her. His groaned protest goes unheeded as you swap your mug for the device and bring it to you.

Ran snorts, and you smooth your free hand over his hair.

“Hello—“ there are harsh but restrained mumbles but he can’t make out the words “—Linda, why on Earth would I be with a man the night he yelled at me like that?”

Because you love him, Ran thinks, but he hears garbled disappointment from the other end.

“And after how your brother and his wife acted—” more rushed excuses “—I don’t have time to go around looking for your adult baby. I have work to do and a plane to catch.” There’s obvious desperation in Linda’s tone, but you don’t care. “Goodbye.”

You let your phone drop to the rug, carding fingers through his hair before finishing with little scratches. Your nonchalance is still pure honesty. You wouldn’t waste time on him, not if you didn’t want him, and you did not let him speak to you that way for more than three sentences because you knew exactly how to shut him up.

“Vicious little bitch,” you mutter.

And…in all your perfect, honest, niceness, you called his mother a bitch—not to her face but you’ll get there, Ran’s sure.

He fucking loves you. He is really so fucking in love with you that it’s fucking gross. He’s disgusted and doesn’t fucking care.

After a big sigh, your hand finds his between your legs and moves it to cup your sex. “Where were we?”

Ransom shifts up over you at the same time as you slide beneath him on the buttery leather cushions. His wildly true and blue eyes meet yours with stern sincerity.

He’s looking at everything he ever wanted, and it’s not money. There are all sorts of things he can use to survive, loads of things he can replace, an infinite amount to take, but only one you, only one complete package. Not a thing. Not replaceable. Finite. Earned. New. Fascinating. Teasing. Messy. Sexy. A total hardass badass with a great ass.

Ran lays his hand heavier on that thin layer of silk, possession laced in the caress, and the words just flow right out.

“Marry me.”

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

Oh my god, gang, I can't believe I fucking did it. Truly, this fic has been one of the craziest things I've ever attempted, and honestly, I'm so damn proud. I'm proud that I wrote it, I'm proud that it's over, and I'm proud of whatever reception it gets. I murdered my soul for this and am delighted. Thank you all so much for reading!

[Main Masterlist]

#ro reblogs the love #and it was the best love #thank you for reading and sharing

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bassfanimation · 8 years ago

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The Secret Girlfriend Theory

Before anyone chortles at the title of this, please bear with me. It’s something that, I think in the ending of the Sherlock series, actually makes sense if I had to dissect his relationships with women (romantically speaking).

Since so many people have enjoyed the “I Love You: A Man’s Perspective” post, I also had a great talk with my hub about this new theory of mine, and again, his interpretation from a man’s perspective is really interesting. We also had a very personal talk, which opened my eyes to something I didn’t know about him before. I’ve asked if I can include it here and he’s totally cool with. He’s also completely amazed that people like our banter, but mostly he likes that it’s opened up new avenues of discussion in the fanbase. I’ll denote in the post between our views for clarity.

A small disclaimer: this is merely my (and some of my dude’s) own personal view, coming from our own worldviews and experiences. In no way am I writing any meta, thoughts, or opinions that are meant to invalidate anyone else’s reading of the show or characters. Everyone can have their view and their story, and it’s ok. These are just ours. Art and media is open to everyone’s interpretations.

This is another long one folks, so take a potty break now!

In The Final Problem, Sherlock had to say the most painful words he’s had to say throughout this entire series: “I love you.” What’s worse, he had to say these words in front of the two people he has most wanted to impress in his life: John and Mycroft. I think them being in the room with Sherlock for this test was highly, highly significant.

Sherlock has always been like the Wizard of Oz, which I wrote something back a while ago. I’m not sure if I can find it though as I think it was on the end of someone else’s post, but I might be wrong. Anyways, Sherlock make believes he is a larger than life figure in front of literally everyone, but none moreso than John Watson, and his brother Mycroft.

With John...John is Sherlock’s #1 fan. Sherlock wants John to believe he is the ubermensch. He’s Superman, literally. Even Moffat and Gatiss have stated things that lead you to believe they too thought of Sherlock Holmes as a comic book hero. To young boys, he is just that. Sherlock, in turn, thrives off of John’s adoration for him and his skills, he clearly eats it up. Most immature, childish people crave attention, and Sherlock is the picture of immaturity at the start of this series. Because of Sherlock’s need for John to see him as this super-intelligent, amazing man, he has to hide a lot of the more ‘human’ aspects that he has deep inside himself. It’s why John thinks he’s a “machine”, early on. Sherlock, in effect, cannot let John Watson see how the sausage is made. (no dick jokes now, this is a clean post, you can send me dick jokes later tho)

Next, with Mycroft, it’s very obvious as to why Sherlock hides all his feelings even more around his big brother. With John, Sherlock is Superman. With Mycroft, Sherlock is only a child, and he makes this very well known in how he talks to and treats him. He taunts Sherlock constantly about sentimentality. He mocks love, he cares nothing for feelings, and he uses the mere notion of Sherlock “feeling” against him. Any sort of emotion Sherlock has he absolutely cannot let Mycroft become wise to them. I like to believe that Sherlock actually idolizes his big brother, and loves him deeply (we see in the family videos). He’d never show it of course, because to show it would mean Mycroft would probably roll his eyes at him and Sherlock, until this point, couldn’t handle that.

Now, let’s take a good look at the women in Sherlock’s life (that we know of) who’ve had even any inkling of romantic or sexual attraction with Sherlock.

Irene Adler. Even as a Sherlolly shipper to the grave, I will never deny Irene and Sherlock’s very real attraction. Gatiss has stated Irene and Sherlock were “made for each other”, and he’s right, in a specific way. BC has stated that he truly believes Sherlock and Irene had a night together (that means sex, to be indelicate about it, heheh) after he saved her. Now, technically that’s not canon, as canon only pertains to what happens on screen. But, if the actor that’s playing the character has imagined that in the character’s backstory, and is playing that character with that in mind, then I feel it’s so close to canon it might as well be. *shrug* Anyways...there was an intimate, sexual love affair between Sherlock and Irene...with one very interesting aspect that spans across to other women, later: it was a secret, until now. More on that later.

Sherlock never allowed John to know that he knew Irene was alive. Sherlock purposely kept Irene’s existence as a connection to himself as secret from everyone. From John, to Mycroft, to literally anyone, even Molly Hooper, of course (though I like that Molly never considered it a secret, she deduced it pretty clearly when Sherlock ID’d Irene’s body despite her face being unrecognizable). We see in TSoT that Irene appears inside Sherlock’s mind, naked, and seductively touching his face. Irene Adler is a secret, but she is firmly, undeniably still part of Sherlock’s life, his dreams, his lust, his admiration...all of that. But she is his secret romance. Again, I’ll revisit this in a bit.

Janine Hopkins is up next. We don’t meet Janine until TSoT, which is also where Irene Adler pops into Sherlock’s mind, AND Molly Hooper is present and shown in contrasting ways to Sherlock more than a handful of times. All three of these women are making a very bold impact in TSoT, which is the episode featuring John and Mary’s wedding. For me, that is no coincidence. Mary also is playing a hugely impactful role, but not a romantic one. Many JLers interpret TSoT and the women in it as Sherlock struggling with his losing John because he’s in love with John. It’s totally fine if you want to see that. For me though, I think it’s the opposite. We have Irene inside Sherlock’s head, nude. We have Molly Hooper, who is now engaged but keeping her eyes firmly fixed on Sherlock (not to mention him peeping into the frame from behind as Molly’s kissing on Tom). And we have Janine who is actively looking to hook up with a man at the wedding. She’s a sexually mature, sexually available woman who has a pretty clear agenda. I rather loved that about J, she’s awesome. I’ll come back to that with a thought from my hub, later.

Now, Janine and Sherlock actually get on really well. They laugh together, Sherlock tries to impress her a bit, he goofs off with her. They have a really nice rapport, yet still she ends up dancing with someone else at the end of the wedding. We see her with another guy, we see Molly unfortunately chained to ol’ Meat Dagger McGee, Mary dancing romantically with John...and Sherlock goes off, alone...as Molly watches, helplessly. (damn that made me cry)

In the very next episode, His Last Vow, we see that Sherlock is actually dating Janine. Most of us knew that it was under false pretenses just because of the canon ACD story where Holmes fakes an engagement. The important part to notice is that In the first part of the episode, Sherlock has a near meltdown when Mycroft approaches his room, where Janine is sleeping. He physically threatens Mycroft to get him out of 221B and away from nosing about. He’s hiding a secret.

After Mycroft leaves, Sherlock goes to take a bath, and Janine then comes out of his bedroom, wearing one of his shirts as her pj’s. John is utterly gobsmacked, reflecting us, the audience, as we’re feeling the same. Janine then proceeds to act like a typical ‘girlfriend’. Sherlock eventually comes out of his room fully dressed, and the two put on a show in front of John that looks very normal, despite the audience knowing it’s bull. I think all of us remember the very awkward kiss Sherlock and Janine share that made all of us sort of recoil, because it felt unnatural. I know there’s about 10,000 meta pointing out that this means Sherlock is not into women, but I think there may be another reason that kiss was so weird. My hub has a good take on it. I’ll also bring this back up later.

Near the end of HLV, when Sherlock’s lying in the hospital with his gunshot wound from Mary, Janine visits him there. Her revenge and her words here now have a new meaning to me than they used to. She says, “I know what kind of man you are, Sherlock Holmes.” Then we see the tabloid news paper where Janine has blabbed to the press about her and Sherlock’s highly voracious sexual relationship. “He made me wear the hat!”, one of the headlines says. Sherlock looks really defeated by it all, and Janine says he didn’t have to lie to her, that they could have been friends.

Putting the rest of the series together, Janine’s words, and her “revenge” have a new meaning for me. It lines up with Irene, AND with Molly. Sherlock Holmes’s private life has never been examined much. If anything, it’s remained very “off screen”. Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat drew a lot of inspiration for Irene Adler from The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes. I think that right there is what makes me think Sherlock’s love life was, in the BBC version, “private”. It’s something he wanted kept out of the public view, his friends’ view, everyone. It was not for them to know about it, especially considering how closed off Sherlock’s own true heart really was. It was basically DEAD, as the coffin in TFP represented.

Now, for Molly Hooper. Loo Brealey stated in a PBS podcast interview that she got this feeling that there was a lot going on behind the scenes with Molly and Sherlock. It’s never out in the open, but the way they interact leads you to think there is something there. We’re not sure what, but it’s deliberately set up to be an ‘are they or aren’t they’ question. Personally, I found Eurus’s test to give us the definitive answer: they ARE. The reason I think this is true, is how it was all laid out. It was made to be A) in front of John and Mycroft, B) the words I Love You had to be said, and they had to be REAL, Molly made sure of that or she wouldn’t have said it back to him (also genius on Eurus’ part), and C) how she told him to say it. She said, “You say it. Say it like you mean it.” This just absolutely smacks of two people who have a “something” together, but neither has actually made it REAL, until now. Not only were they BOTH forced to make it REAL, but it wasn’t a SECRET anymore. Mycroft knows it, John knows it (fkin finally), Eurus already knew it because she’s a badass queen. Sherlock is now terrified, the most private part of his life is now out in the open. The coffin was smashed. Skadoosh, you have a heart and everyone knows it now, no going back.

I think Molly Hooper has always been Sherlock’s ‘secret girlfriend’ (I know how dumb that sounds but I don’t have a better term) because that’s the way it was supposed to be: out of our view. Sherlock Holmes doesn’t flagrantly date women like Bruce Wayne, he doesn’t go on publicly identified dates at all (can you imagine the paparazzi). His heart IS his most guarded secret, and I don’t mean the friendly love he shared with John. That was well out in the open from the first series. It was even featured in the newspaper, which neither was happy about. No one likes their life blared about and dissected by the public. Also they’re Holmes and Watson, it’s the most iconic love between two men ever. No, in this series...Sherlock’s heart was the thing he struggled most to keep under wraps. It’s the thing that he was most afraid of, it’s the thing that made him most vulnerable, it’s the thing he could not risk, not even for us, the viewers!

Back to some ideas between me and my hub.

My view of Janine’s revenge was meant to be a huge slap to Sherlock by saying, “Look what I did, I let the public think they’re in on your sex life. I told lies about the most private thing you can do with another person. I made it into a joke.” Janine made Sherlock’s heart into a JOKE, let that sink in.

Now, Janine also said she “knew what kind of man Sherlock is”. This line is hotly debated by fandom as to what that means. I thought that that meant she knew he was a lying shit, and also he didn’t want people to know him, or his private affairs, especially regarding his most guarded emotions. That’s why Janine stuck it to him good. He made her heart a joke, so she made his a joke right back. Also, the awkward kiss? To me, that was so awkward, because Sherlock didn’t love Janine...he loved someone else, he just didn’t know it yet. I think he was so stiff and weird with Janine because it really wasn’t genuine at all, and it made him feel terrible on some level that he was there, hurting someone else (Molly) by being with Janine. He was betraying the good man Molly thinks he is...big time. I think that’s also why he didn’t have sex with her. A lot of people use that as evidence that Sherlock isn’t into women, but in the context of the series as I personally see it, I think he was close enough to Molly at that point that he felt like he’d be betraying her horribly to sleep with another woman.

My husband, who I just talked to this morning about this, has a wildly interesting view of Janine and Sherlock, and why that felt so odd. My hub thinks that Janine scared the pants off of Sherlock. He has always viewed Sherlock as a normal guy, but also, he’s a nerd. He is an immature, extremely childish, inexperienced NERD. He said that a sexually experienced woman who is very comfortable with her appetites for sex probably scared Sherlock shitless. He said Sherlock is essentially a virgin, despite having most likely had sex with Irene Adler. He noted that Sherlock and Adler probably only were together after it was on his terms, not hers. He went to Adler to save her, he was in that control over her at the time, meaning the intimacy they shared was on his terms. With Janine, however, she held the advantage over him, big time. My hub also thinks Sherlock was still highly inexperienced with sex, so, that aspect alone would mean he may very possibly avoid being in a situation with Janine where he could come off as a horrible sex partner...much like young guys fear when they have no effing clue how to please an experienced lady.

My hub also said he feels Janine was Sherlock’s “tantrum”. He came back from his faked death and everyone had moved on. He expected John to just whip back into things. He expected Molly to still be there at his beck and call. We saw the heartbreaking stairwell scene. She had moved on from him. At the wedding, we see Molly looking at Sherlock almost the entire time, and she is staring daggers at Janine as well. My dude says he feels Sherlock probably saw all this happening and said, “Well fuck it, if they’ve all moved on, heh I can do that, watch me I’m going to make them all so jealous, because I’m a great big fucking child and I can show them *sticks tongue out*”. So, he tries, but it’s a woeful wreck. I find this reading insanely cute, and heartbreaking, considering Sherlock even says to Mycroft on the phone, “I’m not a child!” Yes, you still are, Sherlock. :(

Let’s circle back around to Irene Adler for a moment where I’ll talk about my views first. I see Irene as Sherlock’s secret romance. I do believe they had a something shortly after Belgravia, but I don’t think it lasted. I think it was a short-lived, hot, firey affair in which two people who suddenly came together, and fit sexually and intellectually, clicked like hell. Irene Adler was Sherlock’s absolute fantasy come to life. We have all had those people we’ve looked at and just oozed lust for. Celebrities, singers, you name it. We all have our own personal fold-outs. Hell I have a Sherlock standy in my office that my own husband gave to me, LOL! I’m a lustful cow and Sherlock is hugely sexy to me...but he is also a fantasy. An image. Sherlock is not who I’d spend my life with. Sherlock isn’t going to come home, cook me spaghetti, rub my back, listen to me cry, etc. That man is my husband, who I truly love and loves me back for exactly who I am. I think, from my personal interpretation, Irene Adler is Sherlock’s ‘standy’. He does have strong feelings for her, and he always will because he obviously was intimate with her, and I think she was his first “love”. She’s gorgeous, dangerous, mysterious, smart as hell, and even sexier than she is smart. She is the ultimate fantasy. His secret fantasy, which we ALL have.

My hub’s view of Irene Adler is slightly more simple in that to him, she represents Sherlock’s desire, his sexuality. She is the flesh’s fantasy, in the flesh! What’s neat though is that she was also highly, highly intelligent, which was also a turn on for Sherlock. In the end though, Sherlock is already a genius. Irene was much more about the flesh than the mind, in this particular adaptation. In the books, Irene Adler was much more of an intellectual foil, so this read on the BBC Adler is very much aimed at sex, specifically Sherlock, and his very obvious interest in sex (and not with men). My hub and I agree though, that we both think that Irene is who Sherlock thought of for sex...not what he actually wanted in love. The fantasies we all have, the porn we watch, the fanfic I read, hell...that’s all great fun, but it’s not who we really are inside. We don’t want our fantasies at the end of the day. We want love. We want honesty, softness, common interests, trust, reliability. Sex is the sprinkles on the cake. When we’re old and in Depends we want someone who smiles at us like we’re the most beautiful person on Earth.

On to Molly Hooper, and why I believe she was truly Sherlock’s ‘secret love’, his real love. Molly was there with Sherlock from the very start, and always, always, always shown in a romantic (and even sexual) context. Even when the writers used her as the butt of jokes, it was still in relation to her love for Sherlock (stuff it with your fake feminism, there’s a point to it). Her love was ever present.

Now, Molly was also there when Sherlock behaved at his worst. She was aware of his moods, his volatility, his childishness, and still she remained strong in the face of that. She saw his emotions even when he was sure he’d locked them away. John and Mycroft sure didn’t see them. Molly really knew what kind of man Sherlock was, only unlike Janine...she was okay with that. She didn’t like when he was mean, but she corrected him. She tried her best to help him be better, and he let her do it. What did John say about Mary? John said he wanted to be the man Mary thought he was. Sherlock asked Molly in TRF, “If I wasn’t the kind of man I think I am, would you still want to help me?” The answer was an unbending yes. Sherlock allowed himself to be made a better man in large part thanks to Molly Hooper, not Irene, not Janine. Mary was the love of John’s life. What would that make Molly to Sherlock? To me it’s very clear, maybe it’s my shipper goggles, I won’t deny I love them, but to me the parallels speak for themselves.

Talking to my husband, he said he’s always related heavily to Sherlock, and I had never known why until this morning. He recalled when we first met, how closed off he was. He often spouted out random facts and knowledge, so much that my grandma used to call him a “Know It All”. We had a hard time connecting as anything other than friends, because quite frankly, I thought he was cold. We had a big fight once, and I cried and I said that he never showed emotion. When I was happy, I wanted him to be happy with me. When I was sad, I wanted him to understand that I was sad, and to be sad with me. He was raised in a family where the men were kind of closed off. Oddly enough he also had wanted to be a forensic pathologist, LOL. But it took YEARS for him to open up to me, and me to him, cause I’ve had my own horrible childhood woes that have led me to be very scared of intimacy. YEARS. People kept asking us if were were a “thing” and we never knew how to address it, until one day he just asked what we were. It was at that point that we gave it a go, we became a “thing”. We still had a long, long way to go though. Long story short, we’ve been with each other in some fashion for 17 years. We’re still learning how to love and to be open. For men, it’s twice as hard to learn. It takes a long time for them to understand their own feelings, and even then they’ll find new ways to be confused, LOL. It is human.

I’ve always thought of myself as Molly Hooper; lonely, a little weird, strange interests, plain, and probably no one’s lifetime love. And now I know my husband has always thought of himself a lot like Sherlock Holmes; lonely, emotionally sensitive but closed off out of fear, often insecure, intelligent with facts but afraid of emotion, having to unlearn aloofness and to be ok with trust. Forever we were together, but not together. Everyone sort of saw us and thought maybe we were a thing, maybe we weren’t. Were we secret lovers and didn’t realize it? We didn’t even know for ages, until one day, you just open your heart. After that, you see what happens. For us, our love for each other doesn’t fit the typical mold. We’re not everyone else, but we fit perfectly with each other. Perfectly.

Molly and Sherlock also fit perfectly, especially if you view them as who they really are, as the kind of people they actually are. He was closed off, a nerd to the 9th degree, not very “normal”, messy, childish, moody, stupid a LOT of the time, and not very popular with anyone. She was lonely but open, also a nerd to the 9th degree, not very “normal” herself but she didn’t care and didn’t pretend to be, had a sadness in her that she tried to turn into a smile for others, ignored but accepting of it, overlooked by everyone (except by one person), not very popular with anyone yet one person still came back to her time and time again. I find the stairway scene extra telling now, considering it was Molly trying to be “normal”, stating her and Tom have a dog and they go to pubs with friends...then as Sherlock insinuates that not every man she loves can be a sociopath, she whispers to herself, “Maybe it’s just my type”. Girl does not fit into any “normal” mold whatsoever, just like Sherlock doesn’t fit into a mold of any sort. I love that so much about them, it kills me, because I relate so much.

Molly and Sherlock are like me and my hub. The secrets that you don’t realize are there, right in front of you. Sometimes, people don’t even know what they feel. Sometimes it takes years, a crushing event, hell even a drunk night of Mario Kart and tamales. You just know when you know that you love someone. It’ll hit you like thunder and it’ll scare the shit out of you. That’s why I, and my hub, think Sherlock really did mean what he said to Molly, and that he’s known on some level for a very long time that she was the real deal. She’s not his standy. Not his foldout. Not an experiment.

Molly as Sherlock’s real love might have been a secret before, but now she’s real, and his love is real for her too now. It became real in front of John Watson and Mycroft Holmes, the other two most important people in their circle. The coffin that Sherlock obliterated in front of them? That’s the secret being destroyed. The love is revealed. Their love may not fit a mold, it may not be the kind of relationship you think of when you think of ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’, but it doesn’t have to be like everyone else’s relationships. These two people fit in their own way, and I think Molly has always, always been okay with that. Similarly, Sherlock knows she’s okay with that. Their realness is theirs to make it their own. You can’t go back to be a secret once you say “I Love You.” That is as real as it gets.

#Sherlock #Sherlolly #Molly Hooper #The Secret Girlfriend Theory #long post #extremely long post #like holy shit this took me forever long post #me and my dude talk about nerd love #and how it manifests #yay emotionally closed off people learning how to not be closed off #to us the entire series of Sherlock makes perfect sense like this #but we're just us #and everyone is always free to see how they want #this is just our way #please enjoy!

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cinnamonest · 4 years ago

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Yandere Profile - Izuku Midoriya/Deku (BNHA/MHA)

I'm showing up in tags again yay! Time to repost this

Finally I am dishing out MHA content and kicking off with one of my favorite boys nice

TWs: Fem!Reader, Yandere, kidnapping, delusional mindsets, infantilization, mentions of violence/mutilation, mentions of murder, mentions of fake suicide, n//s//fw themes/mentions/brief content, mentions of virginity/sex shaming, dark content, mentions of a high school setting

TWs (n//s//fw section/below the cut): noncon, brief dealing with/mentions of past sex trauma, generally depraved/dark content, pain content, infantilization What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

High key delusional. (I think everyone I've seen in the yan bnha community agrees on this lmao.) But really, he acts that way because he's not naturally that way - he has to make an active effort to lie to himself and to you in order to believe his delusions.

Obsessive. I mean, look at what this boy does to his heroes. You bet he has an entire notebook dedicated to your existence. It starts off simple, an entry regarding your quirk if you have one, or perhaps he feels compelled to write a simple entry about someone he met if you don't. Gradually it turns into a log of all his encounters with you, his observations of your day, his thoughts about you, a strict schedule of what you do. The things you do while he watches - you KNOW the boy is a stalker. He has a folder in his phone gallery of just quick snaps he's taken of you walking around, smiling, laughing, looking at your phone, lots of pictures from the back, sleeping at your desk, and a few more risky ones. The time he accidentally walked into the wrong shower room after a class and just happened to catch you getting out of the shower. Slightly blurry pictures through the window of the girls dorm of you getting dressed, laying in bed, sitting at your desk doing homework. Dark, barely visible images of your sleeping form just barely illuminated by moonlight. You really ought to lock those windows.

He's on the border where he's just comfortable enough to talk to you, but far too nervous to ever confess, or spend as much time with you as he'd like. Of course, preferably he could spend every waking moment by your side, but, he's aware enough to know you need space. He's fine with that. He's technically with you anyway, you just don't know it. And really, he likes stalking, genuinely. He likes the feeling of knowing you're unaware of his presence, the thrill of risk and the giddy satisfaction he gets knowing this is your candid, non-performing self, he can see what you're really, truly like when you think you're alone, and it's just so cute.

Particularly for a quirkless, civilian darling, or if darling's quirk has no combative purposes, he'll be much more protective. He's one to have the delusion that you're too fragile for the world, and that you're inevitably bound to get hurt, it's not safe out there. You're like a little kitten, one that's just a little too curious for her own good, doesn't know how big and bad the world is, how people who want to hurt her are out there. Kittens stay inside all day where they belong, safe to be the soft little housepets they are.

History/info stalker as well. He will find out everything about your past and you in general - memorize things like your height, birthday, grades, blood type, etc. Will also deep-dive through any social media you have, even managing to find anonymous ones, probably by sneaking through your phone as your sleep. He'll learn about your family, how well they treat you, gauges how hard they'll search for you. He'll want to know about any history you have regarding relationships and sex, too. He'll be disappointed to learn you've ever been with and done things with someone else, but that's ok. Everyone makes mistakes, and he can forgive that.

Massive savior complex. This goes double if he did save you from a situation -- he's literally your hero. And he expects that you should at least be grateful enough to acknowledge that. If your family or boyfriend or past boyfriends were abusive or unkind in any way, if you were generally struggling in school or work, if you had any sort of bad life, it will also emphasize this, and he feels he saved you from all of that, and is giving you a better life. And he'll remind you, frequently.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

Inevitable, but he's a planner and he takes some time. He's smarter than he seems and he will formulate an extensive plan. If we're talking senior Izuku, well, he's limited, as he only has the dorms and his old apartment where his mother lives. He's likely to wait it out until post-graduation, wait until he gets his own place, which will now be as soon as possible. Whenever you plan to start university or hero work or whatever, well, you'll never actually make it there.

As for how, it depends on your trust. If he's managed to get close to you as he hopes to, at least to the point of friendship, he'll likely just invite you over, one last time before you go your separate ways in life. You walk right into your own imprisonment, not thinking anything is off when he locks the door behind you. If not, if he was never that close to you, or you turn down his offer, well, he'll just do it the old fashioned way. You're a naive little thing, and you'll inevitably be walking by yourself at night at some point for whatever reason, and he knows how to make chloroform. He may look small-ish, but he has a deceptive strength even without the use of OFA, you can't actually hope to overpower him. If he can't catch you out walking, well, once again, you really ought to lock those windows.

Now, a hero Deku, a few years into his 20s and quickly gaining popularity, that sees some poor little civilian getting hurt, he'll just use the excuse of taking you to get help. Clearly you've suffered a concussion, you're not in your right mind, and if you pick up on what's going on and try to call for help, he'll just say so to passersby. People have no reason to distrust him, he's a well-reputed, extremely popular hero, he would never harm someone. So when he says he's just taking you to get medical assistance, no one bats an eye.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

Like some of my previous yans, he's one that will intentionally set up escape opportunities just to see how well your conditioning is going. Leave the door unlocked, but sit and wait outside. Make the bonds just a little bit too loose to see if you wiggle out of them. Leave things that could be used as lockpicks to see how smart you are. It's all a test, though, don't worry. He'll be waiting right outside to make sure you don't actually end up going out into the world and getting yourself hurt. He'll be disappointed in you, but don't worry, he's not too mad - it's just his way of knowing you don't understand yet.

Generally, it's tight security. He's one to invest in electronic security -- a shock collar, tracking anklets, cameras that sense motion, a bracelet that tracks your heartbeat, and all of which send him notifications to his phone if anything is out of the ordinary. The cameras he'll be able to watch a live stream of at any time - he's gotten to where he eats lunch alone in his office so that he can just kick back and watch you.

Now, he has something of an urge to show you off, he would love nothing more than for the world to see what a cute little wife he has, but he restrains this urge for your safety. He has a lot of enemies, and he can't have them knowing about his weakness, he can't stand the thought of you getting hurt because of him. So don't expect to even have anyone who knows about you to rely on.

As for attempts... Should you manage to get through all his measures, well, clearly that means they weren't enough. He's another yandere that, you probably shouldn't try unless you are one hundred percent certain you'll succeed, because if not you likely won't get another chance. Security measures will bump up, and he'd likely implant something in you - a tracking chip beneath the skin, deep enough you can't hope to cut it out. That way, even if you get out into the city, he can easily find you and save you again. If you seriously manage to escape for a while, he doesn't handle it well emotionally, to be honest, he might get pretty upset, but again, everyone makes mistakes, so if you apologize -- and you will, even if he has to resort to unpleasant measures to force one out of you -- he'll forgive you.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Izuku is significantly smarter than he seems, much like his strength. Despite his deluded nature, he still recognizes that, since she's too dumb to comprehend her own safety, she's likely to try and pull tricks to get back out of her cage. He's perceptive and can read facial expressions and tone of voice very well, so if you're a good liar there's about a 75% chance he'll pick up on it -- anything else and he definitely will.

He's likely to go along with it, just to expose your lies or plan in the end. He likes giving you the humiliation because it will hopefully make you even less likely to do it in the future.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

Izuku goes out of his way to keep you well-entertained, but it's all very... infantilizing. For example, he gets you streaming services and the like, but puts parental content locks on everything so you basically can only consume extremely g-rated type of content. He doesn't want you watching anything violent, or dirty or vulgar, it's not suiting such an innocent little thing. He won't even let you watch the news, unless occasionally forcing you to watch something that he knows is being aired about him, in which case he wants you to see so you're reminded of how good he is. He'll also be able to see your search history, and know if you tried to look up anything he wouldn't approve of, especially things like lockpicking or "how to disable human shock collar," you know, that sorta thing. Or more... adult things, which are also blocked. Besides, you have him, you don't need that.

He'll let you cook, but only in his presence, can't have you getting hurt without him there to fix it. You'll probably start off restrained to a bedroom -- a very heavily safety-proofed one -- in the beginning, gradually earning the privilege of going to other rooms once you've proven you can be trusted.

He'll also really try to get you almost anything you want, really. Clothes, books, hobby supplies, anything he thinks will make you happy and adjust more easily. You can use this to your advantage, really, if you're willing to settle in for your new lifestyle.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Of course, besides the obvious no escaping, no outside contact, and no attacking him, he's actually still got a lot of behavioral rules. Much like the content he allows you to consume, he expects the same from you -- no cursing, no drinking, no vulgarity. No handling knives while he's gone, and he'll know if you do, from the motion-sensing cameras that will alert him of your presence in the kitchen. He's one to humiliate you. Specifically, if you've proven you can't behave at all, or tried to really fight him, he'll get you a nice big cage to live in until you have learned your lesson. The kind they make for big dogs, short enough to force you on all fours, complete with bedding, a padlock, and a water bowl for you to drink from. You'll stay there until you can understand what you did wrong and are ready to grovel at his feet about it. During that time, he'll also ignore anything you say, acting like you're not there.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He can't risk anything that would damage his reputation and career, so murder is off the table. Unless, of course, it's not murder, but rather a sort of, how do they call it... suicide by hero. There was no other choice, really. It's sad to have a kill on his record, but people understand that sometimes these things happen.

This changes if someone has hurt you in any way -- in that case, he's not hesitating to actually kill someone. The thought of someone hurting his little treasure is infuriating, not only at them, but at himself for not coming into your life and saving you sooner. He'll be sure they know exactly why they're dying, that they spend their last moments begging for forgiveness for what they did to you.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

Easier than you'd think. Izuku doesn't like his delusions being challenged since, again, he has to put in effort to believe them in the first place. If you're being bratty and having tantrums he won't let it slide - even the slightest step out of line is dealt with to ensure you'll at least hesitate before doing it again. If you are the bratty type and blatantly go out of your way to defy him and his rules to his face, it's ground for immediate and pretty intense punishment. His anger is terrifying in its own way. He's beaming, grinning from ear to ear, talking to you so sweetly, but with just the most subtle underlying tone that lets you know he's furious. It's a warning voice, telling you to fix your attitude or else. He doesn't cease the babytalk or petnames when he's mad, it actually gets worse, it helps him contain his fury. But when you hear him say sweetheart in that quiet, sweet, but low voice you've come to recognize and immediately become afraid, he's pretty pleased when it reaches a point where that alone can shut you up. He believes there's a healthy degree of fear that pets should have of their masters.

The easiest and fastest way to set him off by far, though, even more than being mean or disobedient, is silent treatment. That sets him off unlike anything else, and is most likely to make him snap to actual, unrestrained anger, finally showing his true rage and snarling at you, grabbing you by the throat and lifting you off the ground. It will only last a few moments, though, before he comes back to his senses and lets go, apologizing, telling you he hates doing that, but you really seem to try to make him mad, sometimes.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

He kinda bounces back and forth. He's a bit of a worshipper, telling you how beautiful and amazing you are and how he doesn't deserve you, really no one does, you're angelic, nearly a goddess - but at the same time, you're also his little kitten. A pet to be controlled because you don't know what's good for you. Kept away from a world hellbent on harming you. When you agree with him or do what he wants, it's the former. When you disagree with him, it's the latter, and he talks down to you like you're a child.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

He'll try until the day he dies. And try he does, very much so, always buying you gifts, telling you sweet things, reassuring you how much he loves you. Even if you show no sign of ever giving in, that doesn't deter him, ever the optimist. It can become infuriating... and maddening, slowly driving you to the brink of insanity. When it comes down to you trying to break him of his delusions versus him trying to break you into them... he will win, you will crack first. No matter how stubborn you think you may be, rest assured, he's even moreso.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

I have a unique little headcanon... he hints to someone about your existence, and will select someone as a back-up caretaker. See, he's worried about the possibility of being killed in his heroism, and what would happen to his poor little kitten then? It might be weeks before someone enters his apartment, and they would never understand -- they would think he did something wrong, they would try to recondition you to the world, sure they'd have good intentions, but they wouldn't realize they're making things worse for you. So, he gets a very trusted friend, someone he knows would understand and... perhaps whom he gets the feeling has a bit of the same tendencies as himself, and more or less tells them that if something should happen to him, they need to go to his place, because something very important to him is there. As jealous as the thought of someone else having you makes him, he can't bear the thought of you being released back into the world... and you're still in the denial phase, so you still act like he's a bad guy and all that, so you might tarnish his name and legacy with lies. He can't have that. So, after careful consideration, he picks someone to take over as your caretaker, should something happen. He would rather know you're in the capable hands of someone he trusts than left to starve in his apartment or thrown out into the world, even if it means someone else having you.

Maybe an odd choice, but I could see him going for Shoto on that one. His personality may be very different from his own, and he may not be as close to him as some others, but he senses they have the same... tendencies and inclinations (am I implying he's definitely a yandere too? Yes), and be trusts him to care for you but also be able to handle and tame you. And honestly? He's one person he knows without a doubt will actually prefer to follow through and have you rather than disregarding his wishes - anyone else, and he's got a little doubt they might just not understand the situation, not understand your unique case, and take you to the police or God forbid, just release you back into the world. He leaves a little note with you (making sure to detail how you can be hard to handle, be patient with her, ok?) and tells you that should anyone with this physical description (I mean, it's a pretty unique description, not too many people look like Shoto), ever come and tell you that he's gone, give them the note, and be nice to your new owner, he's sure he'll love you too. But never forget, he loved you more.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Horny lil thing. His stalking tendencies result in a lot of perverted shit -- stealing your clothes, jerking off to all those pictures of you he's taken, putting hidden microphones in your room so he can hear when you're touching yourself. He's got a high drive, and jerks off quite a bit. Watching you in class often leads to his thoughts racing, and you notice he gets up to use the bathroom pretty frequently during class.

Prior to abduction, he's not brave enough to be touchy, although he will use his innocent demeanor to try and get a nice full-front hug every now and then that seems to last just a bit too long for comfort. After abduction, though? He makes up for all the touching he's wanted to do since he first saw you, wrapping arms around you all the time. When you're cooking he'll come up behind you and just wrap his arms around you, standing there and just enjoying feeling you. At night he's always very cuddle and wants to snuggle on the sofa or have you in his lap in some way. He also gets very grope-y beyond that point, frequently reaching up to cup your chest in his hands, squeezing your ass or thighs, or just spooning and grinding a hard-on against your ass.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Too far into the delusions to care. Granted he understands why you are so resistant, why you fight so hard - you're just scared, but don't worry, it will only hurt just a little bit. Or you're insecure - he'll tell you lots of sweet things, he would just hate for you to not know how much he worships you, you know.

Or maybe you're just prudish, or traumatized. Repeated resistance with time and failure to quickly give in leads him to this conclusion, he becomes convinced that maybe you were raised in a sex-negative environment, a too-conservative household, and you were taught to think such a thing was wrong. Maybe you had some kind of negative experience in the past. If you confess to either of these being true, that just solidifies in his mind that that's the sole reason you're so resistant. He'll adjust based on whatever the issue is - are you one of the "until marriage" people? Well it's not official, but he'll try to prove to you that you're basically married, even make a fake contract for you to sign, buy you a cute white dress and a cake and basically say this is no different from being truly married, after all, the government approval is a modern convention and in the past people were married just by vows.

Is it trauma? Well, as said before, he's reluctant to murder, but if that turns out to be the case, that knowledge is enough to push him over the edge, and he'll be sure to make them regret it while they die - he'll even be sweet enough to take a picture, show you how much they rightfully suffered, and he'll be so so sweet, reassuring you he's not like them, kissing your forehead even as he's ignoring your little cries to stop and sinking deep into you.

Just a prude? That's ok. He'll teach you otherwise, rid you of that mindset -- all the more reason to ignore your struggles and pleas, because once you feel good enough, you'll stop resisting. Once you understand how good sex is and how nice he can make you feel, he's confident he can turn you into his own little cock-hungry slut. And managing to do so -- making you cum despite how prudish you are -- gives him a massive ego boost. Especially if you did have past partners, because clearly they weren't doing their job well, since you're so frigid. He'll make you tell him how much better he is than anyone else from before.

He's not a patient man, he's far too eager and really there's nothing you can do to stop sex from happening like... probably within the first hour of your new life together. He's been waiting such a long time, you know. If you happened to be a civilian in the situation mentioned previously, and you didn't know each other beforehand, he might give you, say, 24 hours to adjust, but again, he's not patient.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Oral fixation

Just. He likes eating you out. A lot. Even if you don't. Even if he has to restrain you, holding you down so you can't squirm away. He likes the taste and the way it makes you squirm and writhe and whimper. He loves blowjobs, too. Just. Suck him off and he's wrapped around your finger, but be warned, he lacks self control in this area and will definitely end up grabbing your hair and just jerking your head like a fleshlight, forcing you to deep-throat him until he can cum down your throat.

Infantilization/Lingerie, corruption/defilement

Specifically the cute kind. He likes things like the kitty keyhole lingerie, thigh highs, schoolgirl uniforms, that sort of thing. Innocent looking, cutesy, lots of soft pinks and pastel colors. He never really ceases treating you like a dumb baby, even with sex, cooing at you and making you whimper, softly reassuring you everything is ok, and he'll make you feel good. He likes the innocence, even if you're not (convinces himself any past boyfriends "don't count" for whatever reason), and gets off to the idea that he's corrupting that innocence, ruining you, making you his and his alone. His little toy to play with and break and ruin, make sure you're so trained to his body and voice that no one else could ever make you feel as good as him. As aforementioned, he likes the idea of taking a little prude and turning you into a little cumslut that begs and whimpers for him. It's an ego, pride thing for him.

Petplay/D/S dynamic/Worship

Just. Kitten. It's good. He's super into the cat ears and tail, finding cute ears that perfectly match your hair color, and a little tail plug that makes you whimper when he slides it inside of you. Definitely calls you "kitten," or "kitty," and importantly, makes sure you call him your master. And good pets love their masters, worship them the way they deserve to be worshipped for taking care of you, feeding you, doing everything for you. Masters are their pets' whole world, and he will be to you, too. Also buys a collar, a nice thick one with a leash he can use to make you walk around on all fours, or use to yank you back onto him when you're getting fucked on your hands and knees.

Cockwarming

Unfortunately, the part of hero work they don't talk about as much is the paperwork. There's quite a bit, actually, and studying for license renewals. He's got a kinda short attention span and he needs some stimulation to keep him focused. Which is how you end up sitting in his lap at his desk, panties down on your ankles, holding perfectly still with him deep inside of you. He tells you not to move -- you'll distract him too much. Eventually, though, it can get to be too much, so he just ends up fucking up into you right there, but after he's done he'll stay inside, gradually getting hard again and repeating the process.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He likes the idea in theory, but ultimately decides against it for a couple of reasons. See, his little kitten is so... difficult, and he fears you might teach them to resent him. More importantly, people would wonder -- if he's got kids, where's the mom? He can't afford to have people snooping about that. Finally, much like with you, he fears that his enemies might kidnap his kids, or hurt them somehow to hurt him. If darling is especially well-behaved, once she's finally broken in and understands his way of seeing things and becomes more agreeable, there's a chance he'd consider it, but the concern over their safety would likely still stop him.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Definitely spanking and impact pain. He's gonna invest in it, too. Leather straps and hard rubber paddles -- probably gets one of the ones that have a little shaped hole or raised part that puts a nice little design imprint on your flesh. Likes making you count for the added humiliation, or making you choose a number of swats that you feel is appropriate for what you did -- but of course, if you go too low under what he had in mind, he'll go with his number and add extra, being sure to let you know you get more for underestimating what you deserve.

Speaking of the monitoring from cameras and all that above, he also has a firm rule that you can't touch yourself. And he'll know -- the bracelet you have alerts him to any increase in heart rate, and he can look into the cameras and see what you're doing. If you're trying to be sneaky, it's still obvious when your heart is racing while you're locked in a bathroom, or the little movements he can make out from under the covers. It also warrants punishment. You want orgasms that bad? Have some. Too many. He'll make you cum over and over, to the point it's horribly painful and sensitive, tying you firmly so you can't move an inch and can't get away from his fingers, tongue, vibrator, or whatever else he chooses. Keep going until you're sobbing and gasping for air, apologizing and crying that you won't do it again.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Thigh boy. He likes using them as a pillow, feeling them wrapped around his head when he's eating you out, running his hands up and down the soft flesh. He's also fond of leaving little bite marks and hickeys all up the inside of your thighs -- not that anyone else sees, but it's just a little reminder to you of who you belong to.

#yandere bnha #yandere deku #yandere izuku #yandere my hero academia #yandere boku no hero academia #lena's asks

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a-froger-epic · 3 years ago

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Thank you for putting those psychotic Mary stans in their place. They are delusional. It’s mind boggling they keep insisting Freddie loved her above anyone else. Ummm, hello, the man confessed his sexuality to avoid being trapped in a marriage with her. I think he valued his own happiness more than he did hers, and I don’t fault him one bit for it. He could have carried on as a closeted bisexual man, but he chose to tell her “I DON’T LOVE YOU”. Love and affection are not the same thing. And what he felt for Mary was just affection. Tbh, I think she kind of manipulated him emotionally for leaving her and that’s why she stayed on as a friend and as an employee. Any woman that gets her heart broken like that breaks all contact and moves on. You learn to live without the person that caused you so much pain. It’s not like there were any children binding them together, she just couldn’t move on from the fairytale she wanted. Also, I am almost certain GL isn’t hers for life. I remember seeing a copy of his will somewhere and it states the house reverts back to his estate after 40 50? years. So it’s not like she can leave it to her children or anything. I’m trying to find a copy to verify.

I’m not really interested in putting anyone in their place. I have my own thoughts on the whole matter, is all.

I agree that it's pretty weird to insist Freddie loved Mary above everyone else. He had a lot of love for her, he did trust her, he also loved a lot of other people.

I don't, however, think it's as simple as "he confessed his sexuality to avoid being trapped in a marriage with her". First off, he had probably come to a point where he was forced to accept that he was gay. Yes, I'm aware he told her he was bisexual, but to me that really, really seems like him trying to spare her feelings and not make it seem as though their entire relationship had been a sham (because I don’t think it was, to either of them) or - we really can't know - perhaps even still hoping that it could be true. But I think it's the former, I think he was well aware that he was gay by then. He had, after all, been seeing a man behind her back for a year at that point.

And to his confession, Mary did not respond with shock or disbelief. She told him: Freddie, you're gay.

(This got really long, a lot of speculation and analysis under the cut.)

Mary knew, or as good as knew that he was gay. The confession was perhaps the final, definitive confirmation. And that leads me to think that, for one, their sexual relationship must have pretty much been non-existent for a long while at that point. This then begs the question, why didn’t she leave him? Now, anyone who hasn’t been in a long relationship might not be aware how common it is for two people, even without one person struggling with their sexuality, to end up in a sexless relationship. It’s actually really not uncommon. Sometimes, the physical attraction just fizzles out. I was in a relationship with a boy from when I was 16 to when I was 22, and in second half of that relationship we were pretty much down to being intimate every three to four months or so. He wasn’t gay, I was attracted to guys, we were just no longer really at all attracted to each other. But there are many other aspects to a relationship than just sex. I still felt that I was in love with him, I still had romantic feelings for him, even if the actual, sexual attraction was missing. I was the one to break up with him eventually and it broke my heart, too.

I think leaving Mary broke Freddie’s heart as much as it broke Mary’s heart, even though he was also in love with David. I think it’s possible to be in love with more than one person at a time, because that has happened to me - not for everyone, but I think that there are people who are more inclined toward feeling that way. I think Freddie was one of those people, which is evidenced by his insistence that he had enough love for more than person, he expressed so himself. At that point love becomes a conscious choice, because you’ll find few partners who are willing to share. You have to decide who you will and want to stay in love with and simply stay with. And that will be the relationship which is more viable. Clearly, when Freddie left Mary, his relationship with David had become more viable and being a sexual, sensual person, he was not fulfilled living in a partnership that had stopped being a sexual relationship. Whereas Mary, it seems to me, was someone who (and I’ve said this before) very readily brushed things under the carpet and just carried on. And likely would have carried on as long as Freddie was willing to. Yes, I think she loved him a lot, I also think that having been as young as she was when she met him, she couldn’t fathom not being with him anymore. But I think, in a way, Freddie felt the same.

I disagree with what you say about any woman who has her heart broken removing herself from the situation after and moving on. That has not been my experienced and it is something that is highly individual and varies from person to person, from relationship to relationship, from situation to situation. I personally know more than one woman who has an ex who turned out to be gay and who is still very good friends with them.

I don’t agree that Mary staying in Freddie’s life was all Mary’s emotional manipulation. I would go so far as to say that she probably wanted to remove herself from the situation more than Freddie let her. Again, there is much evidence of Freddie not wanting to let go of people in his life. He had horrendous abandonment issues. In many ways, Freddie was needy. I think he would have been crushed and very distressed if she had broken off all contact with him. He would have found that very, very difficult to deal with. I think, rather, that Mary stayed in his life both because she loved him a lot and because he expressed his need for her to not abandon him completely.

What comes to mind here is the relationship Kenny Everett had with his wife, which was by no means the same, but strikes some similar chords. So let me go there briefly. When Kenny proposed to his wife, who was a good few years older than him just by the way, she was aware that he was gay. She said she used to think of him as her little gay friend and was shocked at the proposal. However, they had apparently managed to have sex under the influence of LSD (yay, drugs? :/) and so Kenny had got it in his mind that he could marry and be in love with this woman, and that all the right feelings would come with ‘practice’, so he said, more or less. Now, from her perspective, she had already had a failed marriage and probably already understood that often sex is not all, and decided the companionship with somebody who cared about her so much, who she liked being with so much, was worth it. Here is the interesting thing. They went on to have what they both insisted later on was absolutely a real marriage, in their eyes. However, Kenny became depressed because of course he hadn’t ‘cured’ himself of homosexuality by getting married and eventually it was his wife who set him up with a waiter (during a night out to dinner with Freddie, no less, who was already with David at the time) and that waiter became Kenny’s first boyfriend.

But, the story of Kenny and his wife, Lee, does not end there. Lee ended up getting married again, and it was a bit of a shock to her when Kenny not only became quite upset that she would no longer wear his ring but also started popping over to her and her husband’s house for breakfast and such. Inserting himself into their relationship almost as a third wheel to some degree. Kenny did not want her back, he was very, very gay and ended up living with his two (!) gay lovers. But he also refused to let her go for a very long time. It had much to do with the fact that Lee really had mothered him a lot and clearly that was something he couldn’t quite get the same way anywhere else.

Now, Kenny is not Freddie and Lee is not Mary. But I think there was a part of Freddie which was very reluctant to let go of the aspects of Mary which his male partners couldn’t provide for him the same way. The practical care-taking aspect, the mothering, if you will. We are also talking about a certain generation here, please keep in mind, where men were not raised to be and not likely to be of a care-taking nature. I think Freddie solved that problem for himself the absolute best way he could, by keeping her close in a professional sense too and literally assigning her a business-related care-taking role. I’m nowhere near done speculating about all this, by the way. There are so many nuances here.

I do think that Mary felt she was owed something for having given so much of her time/life/energy to him, and I also do think that subconsciously she probably did express what a shame it was that they couldn’t have been right for each other, which fed into Freddie’s guilt and made him feel that he had to always provide for her because it was ‘his fault’ they could not be a happily married couple with children, etc. I have sympathy for both of them, to be honest.

So those are my thoughts on that. The ownership of GL and whether it runs out is not something I know a lot about, I’m afraid.

#ask response #Freddie Mercury #Mary Austin

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lightlavenders · 4 years ago

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Time for my Entrapdak rant (a.k.a. why Hordak was better for her than literally anyone else, a.k.a. I’m not bias I swear)

as I read through Entrapta/Hordak/princess gang discourse on this site I started to realise the reason why I loved Entrapdak so much in the first place, and I will now talk about that here (some of these points are stolen from better posts). ALSO no matter how much I shit on other characters just know this isn’t an attack of any of them. This is gonna be VERY ENTRAPTA FOCUSED.

OK SO we get introduced to Entrapta pretty early in season 1 and we get to learn a lot about her. It also quickly becomes clear that she’s neurodivergent - something confirmed to be intentional by many of the creators. Entrapta has a passion for technology, science and inventing, and (same as the previous princesses) the best friend squad decide they need her in the alliance so she can build them weapons (whICH SHE NEVER ACTUALLY DOES i think BUT THATS NOT THE POINT).

Throughout the episode though, the squad (mostly Glimmer bc she’s the one who gets to closely interact with Entrapta the most... Adora being completely out of it and Bow with the kitchen staff) seems to slowly run out of patience for her - Glimmer very obviously puts up a front of tolerance despite her frustration. This is unlike the other episodes, where all the princesses get along in the end and become best friends oh boy! So... we have our only neurodivergent character so far who isn’t really welcomed into the group the same way as the others... and her autistic behaviour is only tolerated because they need her... okay, maybe that’ll change later.

Or not? When Entrapta joins the others on the quest to save Glimmer, she is constantly infantilised by the others and not taken seriously. She runs off to study Horde tech and actually helps rescue Sea Hawk, two very helpful things, but Perfuma talks down to her like a child and PUTS HER ON A LEASH? SHE’S 30!!! SHE WAS TRYING TO HELP! And no one tells Sea Hawk off for getting lost and alerting Scorpia to their presence, which wasn’t helpful at all. Then later, Mermista says she’ll keep an eye on her “in case she decides to befriend any more robots” like okay... she isn’t a child, and she didn’t run off because she wanted to play with robots or something?

Okay, so, Entrapta is left behind, which I won’t blame them for because it definitely looked like she died (they get over it pretty quickly but I digress), and she comes across Catra. Okay! Here’s a chance for Entrapta to make a true friend, right? Or not, because Entrapta and Catra’s friendship is built entirely on manipulation. At least Scorpia was sincere.

Here Entrapta is again, in a position where she’s being used for her skills and in a we’re-sort-of-friends-but-I-only-tolerate-you-because-you’re-useful situation, with Scorpia probably being her only true friend at the moment. She starts helping out the horde, because they actually let her do what she wants and at the very least don’t treat her like a child. Then, she stumbles into Hordak’s lab.

I’m gonna say this now because I’ll get murdered if I don’t - Hordak is a bad guy. He does bad guy stuff. But so does Entrapta sometimes (I’ll talk about that later) so good morals don’t need to play into their relationship I think. It’s about how they treat each other.

At first, Hordak is very defensive and angry towards Entrapta, as he would be to anyone coming in to his lab without permission and discovering his secret portal project. But then she fixes said portal and he immediately sees her as an intellectual equal. Again, Entrapta has had to prove herself to someone by making herself useful, but it actually goes further. ALSO can I say how Hordak is the ONLY person who interacts directly with Entrapta who doesn’t treat her like a child or emotionally manipulate her, with the exception of Wrong Hordak, Emily, and Imp of all characters... Even Scorpia is guilty of this later.

So, Entrapta and Hordak start working together, and Entrapta is obviously very excited to have someone treat her as an equal (they’re lab partners!!). On top of that, Hordak is also happy to have someone he can actually trust. Catra and Scorpia at separate times both remark on how Entrapta spends all of her time with him now, and who can fucking blame her when he’s the only one that has literally spent all this time growing close to her and understanding her as a person, not just using her, not just tolerating her, not talking down to her constantly. Hordak opens up his trauma to Entrapta and she responds by opening up a bit in return, literally saying that she doesn’t fit in and that Catra doesn’t even talk to her anymore. They are obviously comfortable around each other, and if Hordak was manipulating her, then why was he so distraught when she was taken away? Why did he CRY??? Why did he consider giving up on his life’s purpose and abandoning what is essentially his god for her???

Anyway, stuff happens, and Entrapta shows that she isn’t the irresponsible child everyone thinks she is by agreeing to shut off the portal. But of course, Catra betrays her and sends her away. To die. How nice. Catra tells Hordak that Entrapta betrayed him, and instead of flipping out and turning all Hal Stewart incel “if I can’t have you no one can” he just gets sad... and then later all he really wants is to see her again, even if it is on the battlefield. I’m not sure what he would’ve done so we can’t say for sure, but I seriously doubt he wanted to hurt her.

sidenote - I’m not gonna blame Scorpia for letting Catra doing this, Scorpia had her own shit going on and was essentially trapped in an abusive relationship and she also later makes up for letting Entrapta down by getting her rescued

SO then the best friend squad go to save her from Beast Island, and she’s literally completely given up. Gee, I wonder why. Could it be because it seems like every friend she’s ever had has abandoned her, scolded her, or outright zapped her unconscious and sent her to die in a monster filled island? But the squad save her and affirm to her that they didn’t give up on her and that they’re still her friends. Actions speak louder than words, guys, but okay, cool! To Bow and Adora’s credit, they were the least patronising and mean out of anyone... so, that’s something. Anyway! Affirmations! Some respect from her friends! I hope this lasts...

It didn’t! Season 5, Entrapta goes along with the others to help find out where Glimmer is. Here is where I quickly have to say something - Entrapta does indeed make some ‘evil’ and stupid decisions sometimes - hacking the black garnet, building robots that attack her old friends, walking out absentmindedly in front of a robot and compromising her team. Some of these things can be explained by her neurodivergence, but do not always justify it. That being said. Entrapta is not evil, she is not stupid, and her “weirdness” does not give her friends the excuse to treat her like a child.

Here’s where it gets bad!! Perfuma puts Entrapta on a leash AGAIN!!!!!! WHAT? Writers? Wyd?? Not only this, but the others talk about her behind her back, and then scold her without any consideration for how she, as a neurodivergent person, was interpreting the situation. They could’ve explained their feelings to her in a calm way, instead of shunning her and expecting her to pick up on their cues, then exploding at her when they didn’t. THEN THEY CALL HER A BAD FRIEND.... and I feel hypocrisy in this chili’s tonight... and then Scorpia... doesn’t say anything? Girl help. Ik we can’t totally blame her since she was new to the squad and probably didn’t wanna get kicked out or yelled at like with Catra, but please... that is your friend...say something. also why did mermista need to pull her hair and then later say “you’re still a weirdo” like what. why do people ship them? because mermista cried when entrapta ‘died’? Okay??

I think Entrapta actually goes through some character development after this which is pretty cool - she outwardly expresses her concern for Glimmer, which is affirming to her friends the squad, and later at the end of the series, intentionally keeps herself focused during the most high stakes moment instead of running off. I’m not qualified to talk about if these traits, which could be considered traits of autistic people, deserve to be treated as flaws to be fixed, that’s a whole other bag of worms, but yay character development.

Finally, at the end, Hordak properly reunites with Entrapta and he decides to rebel against his creator and his purpose to save her life, showing that Entrapta, and their connection, is his priority now. And once Adora saves Hordak from Prime (thanks Adora), the two finally reunite in a spinning hug - that is literally the most physical contact either of them have had with anyone, how could anyone not believe in their connection and mutual trust???

Mermista gives us one last jab, an understandable one considering Hordak was conquering their planet for years on end, but still - “so, are we all just like, okay with this?” yes girl, we are. He’s literally the only one who ever treated her with real respect and love, the only one who ever prioritised her.

I know some people are gonna be like “just ship her with wrong Hordak” and if you really like that... go ahead I guess? But do we need to force a clone who just got control of his own mind into a relationship, or a girl who is very much in love with someone else into a relationship with one of her friends? You can do what you want though, it’s literally fine, I’m the one who just spent over 1500 words talking about why a 30 year old science woman should go out with an alien warlord.

In conclusion - Hordak and Entrapta deserve each other, because Entrapta deserves someone who treats her right, and I love her.

#entrapdak #entrapta and hordak #entrapdak discourse #entrapta #hordak #i had to include a megamind reference #She Ra #SPOP #big ol post #she ra and the princesses of power #i spent so long on this

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black-rose-writings · 3 years ago

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I read Ruin and Rising because I’m bored

And I also hate myself

Like with the last book, I have a vague idea of the plot and stuff from tumblr and fanfics. I will also be refering to Darkling as Sasha for most of this.

I am still Darklina trash and don’t particularly like Mal.

On a different note, I’ve finally moved for college, but the internet here is trash, so I’ll probably have a lot more reading time now, since most games I play are online and will crash without internet.

Before

Cool story. Let’s hope Alina stays a badass.

Who am I joking, I know how this ends.

Chapter 1

So far so good. I hate the Apparat, per usual. Alina’s there basically dying and that bitch can’t wait to see her do so.

Cult leader to the core this one. He probably hates that his figurehead is alive and also not brainwashed.

Cult leader doesn’t like swearing. How surprising.

My boy David is completely right. What kind of irresponsible dingus keeps centuries old books in a fucking wet-ass cave? (Or a tree for that matter *cough cough* The Last Jedi *cough, cough*).

Genya is fun to be around.

Oh, shit, let’s go.

Chapter 2

Jesus Christ, Alina, Zoya isn’t that bad.

This is one hell of a shitshow.

I live for this version of Alina. Badass. Scary. I want more of this Alina.

Chapter 3

Out of all the random little details from crappy smut fics, I did not expect Oncat to be from the books, lol.

Mal actually has a supernatural tracking ability. Like, literally, they put a bug into the pouch with gunpowder so he could make the shot. I guess this was kinda said before, but never this directly, right?

Alina’s merzost-skyping Sasha now, yay.

Alina is horny for Sasha boy. Yay.

Alina canonically has a praise kink. Nice.

I hate LB with all of my heart at this very moment. How dare she bait us Darklina people like this? How DARE she? (Shipbaiting is the worst, seriously.)

Yes, yes, yes. These two lines. That’s what their relationship is all about. They’re each others foils, the yin to the other’s yang and... ugh. I am Darklina trash to the core and this hurts.

Darklina: You have a terrible taste in men.

Alina: I liked you once.

My boy Sasha walked into that one.

Chapter 4

Alina is a Queen. And we love her.

David, my beloved, my spirit animal.

It’s surprising they can read it at all, given it’s been centuries. Have you ever tried reading medieval manuscripts?

Honestly, with a father that crazy, it’s no wonder Baghra’s a bitch. And I’ve seen it said somewhere that the books imply Ilya’s experiments are what caused Baghra to be a shadow summoner and you know what? I can see how you’d make that connection.

Why is there so few Tidemakers in the books? Waterbenders are useful. I want more waterbenders.

Alina picking up some habits from Baghra I see.

Ah, yes, we love an educated giant.

I’m starting to think Harshaw is a bit nuts.

Shut up, Hershey. Or at least share the weed with the class. I’m not here for this “He’s mean to you because he likes you”. I might believe that in like, elementary school, but yall are (more or less) adults. Jesus.

Well, that was a bombshell of a twist.

Chapter 5

Oh boy, we’ve got some trauma bonding for out merry band of misfits. Yay.

Adrik has a crush on Zoya. And she hates it, lol. Cut the kid some slack, he’s like 15 or something.

That reminds me, I have a four-leaf clover pressed in books from close to year and a half ago. Time flies.

They’re really diving into the Mal has supernatural powers, huh?

Ghosts, let’s go.

Alina “I’m so happy to be outside I start to shine like a fucking fairy” Starkov and Mal is entranced. He’s definitelly nicer now. I’m not forgiving him for all the shit he’s pulled before and for using the silent treatment way too much, but hey, at least he’s improving.

I am not a Zoyalina person, but like... gay? Please? Rivals to grudging allies to friends to lovers, 300k slowburn? Sounds more fun than whatever Mala dn Alina have going on, lol.

(I’m starting to realize I’m not as much a Darklina person as I am anti-Malina person, lol. Like, literally everyone has a more interesting dynamic with Alina than tracker boy over there. Malina is at best boring AF and at worst toxic, codependent and emotionally abusive, while also being boring AF at the same time. It has literally nothing going for it except God herself liking it).

I can see why Nadia is gay in the show. The book version of her definitelly has a crush on Tamar. Homegirl likes a woman, who can murder her with the flick of her wrist and honestly? Same.

Alina has some big “coming out of lockdown after a year” energy atm.

The cat is one of the most realistic characters in this thing, lol.

And since Tamar is also heavily queercoded, our lovely ladies make off into the night, flirting. Or maybe not. Let me dream, though.

At least Blade Boy is aware that his tattoo is stupid. To quote someone ranting about him on tumblr: He’s embracing his identity as a tool.

Oh, boy, this will be fun.

Evil soldier is horny for Mal. Saints, is there a woman in this book who isn’t horny for Blade Boy?

And here comes Niki to save the day.

Chapter 6

Niki saved the day.

Fiberglass? And David being David. Genya being in love with her nerd of a boyfriend.

Jesus Christ, this one crazy kid has moved the technology in this universe a whole century on his own. So, when is David going to propose to him?

Baghra hasn’t changed much I see.

Baghra’s about to drop some truthbombs, but no, we have to be rudely interupted because Genya’s rapist is throwing a fit.

Chapter 7

How does Mal sound? Is she gonna say the Blade boy sounds like her dad? I mean, I know voices are partially genetic, but it has been tens of generations between them, probably.

So, we’re finally taking Genya’s trauma seriously after all this time? Good. Better late than never, I guess.

I wish that regicide was already finished and I’m pretty sure that Genya does, too. Stop defending the fucking king, narrative.

David’s a nerd in all things I see.

Someone please just kill the king already. And the queen, too, for good measure.

Now that’s a romance.

Infodumping and listening to said infodumps is a legitimate love language, Alina. Let them nerd out over poisons.

Wait, has Alina never directly killed anyone before? I thought she did... hmmm.

And just like that, it should have been over. Ugh.

Somehow, Baghra is a better teacher now than she was before. She half feels like a completely different character.

Nevermind, she’s back at it.

Chapter 8

Holy shit, Nadia and Tamar are canon. They have canon gays here.

So, which one of them is gonna die?

Chapter 9

We arrive at that scene. The one, where they should have fucked.

Jeez, girl, get a hold of yourself. Life is short, fuck a villain.

In other news, Genya and David definitelly fucked.

Chapter 10

Poor David. He just wanted to know.

Damn... I never realized just how young Baghra was, when she killed her sister.

I’ve already made a post about this, but it really does strike me like Baghra has already decided to end her life at this point in the book.

Why is that whole “but what if we’re related” thing even in there?

Chapter 11

We love a suprise attack.

When did Sasha boy learn that trick?

Baghra really just did that. Oh boy.

Chapter 12

No, don’t kill the kid... ugh.

Emotiona support cat. She should be friends with Milo.

Porrige for brains. Oof.

So Nadia was the one, who got bees set on her in the book. Cool.

That’s a good question. Why was it never brought up to Alina, that other Grisha get blocks, too?

David already thinking of steampunk prosthetic for Adrik is honestly kinda sweet.

Chapter 13

Back home... kinda.

Is that really... you really care about Mal bonking the Grisha school mean girl over a year ago? Okay.

Chapter 14

Angst! Yay!

And more angst.

Chapter 15

Sasha really went “My mom killed herself to save you? Well, I’ll kill the closest thing to parents you have.”

Chapter 16

Nikolai’s alive. Kinda.

And these two have such a sibling energy, I can’t.

And then they fuck. Ew.

Chapter 17

Wait, wait wait... so Alina isn’t even the one to destroy the Fold?

Okay. That’s... weird.

Holy shit. That was...

So, Aleksander is dead. Mal isn’t. Someone else destroyed the Fold for Alina and now she has no powers.

Okay.

That’s a weird-ass ending.

Chapter 18

The gays survived, so that’s nice.

Genya made good on her promise of making Alina a ginger, lol.

After

What emotion is this supposed to give me? Cause all I feel is kinda sad.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #ruin and rising #book review #alina starkov #darkling #darklina

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matan4il · 4 years ago

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Thank you so much to the talented and lovely @bihunnicutt for making this gorgeous gif set for the following meta... You can also find it on AO3.

The whole scene with the drunk, horny girls in ep 204 is amazing. I love the levels of indifference and annoyance from both guys, who - let’s not forget - are young, virile men at their prime and both, as far as we know, had not had sex in a very long while prior to this, yet these gorgeous, insistently suggestive young women aren’t even a temptation for them, they’re a nuisance. Especially for self-diagnosed sex addict Buck, who we know has slept with flirty women he met on calls, there should have been at least a little bit of a struggle there. Not only there is none, but the whole thing only serves to draw Buck’s attention to Eddie and what’s up with Eddie and why does Eddie not date anyone. It’s. Wow. The intensity of his focus on Eddie is something else.

And that’s also when we get the shoulder bumping (a thing Buck does when HE is flirting with people, as he points out to Chim in ep 208) when they don’t have to walk that close together (they have plenty of space around them, they’re choosing this. Especially since Buck is taking off his shoulder straps, it makes little heterosexual sense that they’d be walking that closely together) while talking about intimate stuff. Buck’s focus doesn’t let up, not even when Eddie steps away from him to take a personal phone call.

That leads to yet another vulnerable moment which Buck doesn’t HAVE to be there for, at the hospital, when they rush there because Eddie’s Abuela has been hurt, and he gets to meet Aunt Pepa. Eddie could have gotten there on his own or Buck could have dropped him off or waited in the cafeteria, but nope. Buck’s there, every step of the way. Eddie lets him be there, no matter how painful the situation may be at the hospital. And let’s not forget, this is all while Buck has his own issues to work out, as Eddie points out to him, what with the fact that he still hasn’t *officially* let Abby go. Everything is geared here towards a greater mutual understanding between the two of them within the context of their lovelife. Seriously. But more than that, it leads to Buck being the person who gives Eddie what he needs. When no one else (not even Eddie’s own family) can do it, Buck’s isn’t just there for him, he has the solution for him and gives him exactly what he’s in need of. Which turns out to be Carla, in a very tongue-in-cheek scene where Eddie worries Buck is trying to set him up. That in a sense emphasizes how the resolution with Carla isn’t, “yay, now Eddie can date again!” Nope, it’s more to do with Chris’ wellbeing, Buck’s help, Eddie’s gratefulness, the recognition between them over this in their exchanged, wordless looks (for the second time in this ep, the first being when Eddie discovers Bobby’s not mad with Eddie because Buck had his back and took care of things for him… I have to point out that the gaze I was expecting from Buck in return to Eddie’s when Bobby points this out would have been a light, smiley, happy-to-help-you-buddy look, and instead what I got was less smiley, more intense and dare I say even sultry. This shit is unreal). The growing bond between them, Buck getting to know Eddie better and better, Eddie learning just how much he has Buck in his corner and what an immense help and relief that is, Buck finding out through being there for Eddie (in addition to Maddie moving out) that he actually does think he should probably let go of Abby, that’s the emotionally poignant resolution in this ep. And doesn’t that just say everything?

You can find more of my meta on AO3 or on Tumblr.

#actual puppies #buddie #buddie meta #911 meta #buck and eddie #eddie and buck #eddie diaz #edmundo eddie diaz #eddie edmundo diaz #evan buckley #evan buck buckley #mbm #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

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inkweaver22-blr · 3 years ago

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Hi there! So I’ve learned that I can’t focus on multiple big fics at the same time. That means I’ll be focusing entirely on Scattered Cicadas until it’s completed! Yay!

This chapter is an important one so pay attention! Hope you enjoy!

AO3 Link

Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Eleven: Soul Searching

Tang gets into an argument with himself.

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He was, once again, in the uninteresting, featureless cave. The voices seemed to blend together as they called out in concern. His name had almost lost meaning at this point with how many times he had heard it. He didn’t even bother closing his eyes as the golden light enveloped him.

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Tang was tired.

How long had it been since this all started?

He had been experiencing these time jumps for what felt like an eternity. He’d lost count on the exact number of cycles he had lived through more than a few centuries ago.

It had been somewhere in the 800’s from what he could remember.

Tang was exhausted.

How old was he now?

He certainly didn’t feel the 41 that his body usually started out as each cycle. Each jump tended to last a year with a few outliers lasting two to four and the exceptionally rare occasions where it was hundreds of years before the start of the baseline events.

He was certainly much older than even Wukong at this point.

Tang was weary.

Did the new memories each cycle granted count towards his age?

They were vivid and detailed, so while he may not have personally experienced them, it felt like he had. The amount of times he had been the immortal Tripitaka instead of just his reincarnation would probably double his age from the memories alone.

If he factored them in, it was probably somewhere in the tens of thousands range.

Tang was fatigued.

In all these years, all the cycles and resets, how much headway had he made in figuring out what was happening?

None. Zilch. Nada.

He had scoured libraries, both mortal and celestial, learning many wonderful things. But he still was empty handed when it came to discovering what was causing his current existence.

He worried that the information he sought was entirely unique to his original timeline.

Tang was so tired.

He was close to giving up, resigning himself to this fate of infinite cycles. He could instead focus his energy fully into being there for his family.

There was a certain appeal to the idea, one that felt almost temptatious. All he needed to do was let go and give himself up in his entirety to their well-being.

Tang gave a sigh as he followed MK up the steps of Flower Fruit Mountain.

These melancholy thoughts were getting harder and harder to shake. Talking to Sandy helped somewhat, but his flame of hope was slowly dwindling.

He didn’t like to think of what he would become when it finally died.

Tang shook his head and did his best to refocus.

He was here for MK, not himself. His kid needed his help.

This cycle was particularly nasty on the young man’s mental health.

There had been cycles where he had been the actual reincarnation of Wukong and had been trained by a clone his past self had left behind, but this was worse.

This time, he was Wukong.

When the Monkey King had sealed away the Demon Bull King, he had sealed himself as well. His memories, his powers, his personality, all locked away and leaving behind a baby MK many years later.

MK hadn’t known until he had visited Flower Fruit Mountain for the first time looking for the Monkey King. Instead, he was greeted by the spirit of Tripitaka who had told him the truth and promptly left.

MK wasn’t handling it well. The pressure and responsibility had made it obvious that something was hurting him.

Tang and the others hadn’t found out exactly what was going on until they had been kidnapped by Macaque who threatened to kill them if “the real Wukong” refused to show himself. MK had saved them, but revealed himself in the process.

(The amount of times MK had become a monkey over the course of the cycles should have made Tang prepared, but it was downright shocking to see him look exactly like Wukong.)

They had managed to reassure him that they still considered him to be their MK, but it was obvious he had been agonizing over it for some time.

Which brought him back to the present.

It didn’t happen often where Tang and Tripitaka were entirely separate people with unique souls, but it did occasionally occur. Not often enough to be anything but an outlier though.

Tang was not pleased with how this version of his past life had treated his son. He planned on having words with him.

“This is it,” MK said, snapping Tang out of his thoughts. “This is where he appeared.”

MK had led him to a statue of the ancient monk. Tang couldn’t ever remember one being here in previous timelines.

“Why’d you want to come here again?”

“Well, I was hoping that by praying for guidance, we could perhaps get some first hand knowledge about the Monkey King to help you adjust to your powers.,” Tang explained as he began setting up a makeshift altar with the supplies he’d brought with him. The items he placed on the small fold-able table seemed normal enough, but were actually the components needed for a summoning ritual to call a spirit and commune with it.

Not that MK needed to know that.

“Do you really think this will work?”

“Only one way to find out.” Tang lit the incense he had placed and knelt before the statue and altar. MK quickly joined him on the ground as he began the incantation. Luckily, it sounded enough like a plea for help as opposed to a spell so he wasn’t questioned.

As he spoke, the statue began to glow a bright yellow and there was a slight tugging sensation in his chest. It was probably just the ritual creating an anchor between him and the spirit he was invoking.

Once he finished, the light separated from the statue, coalescing into the transparent form of Tripitaka. MK gaped while Tang gave a respectful bow. The monk seemed surprised for a moment before offering the pair a patient smile.

“Ah, my student,” the spirit said. “I had not expected to see you again so soon. How may I be of assistance?”

“Well, uh, Mr. Tripitaka sir,” MK said while rubbing the back of his head. “My friend Tang here thought it would be a good idea to get some, uh, stories about my past? He thinks it could help me get used to my powers if I heard about them first hand.”

“Indeed?” Tripitaka stared at Tang for a long moment before turning back to MK and smiling. “A more than reasonable request. I’d be happy to reminisce about our time together.”

The next hour was spent listening to Tripitaka as he told stories about the Monkey King. MK was completely enthralled by the tales, his tail swishing in excitement. Tang only half paid attention, making sure to have a polite smile on his face and keeping the incense lit to keep the spell going.

Tripitaka would eye him knowingly whenever he did so, but didn’t comment.

“Now, my dear student,” Tripitaka said after finishing one of the stories. “I have a request for you.”

“Sure,” MK hopped up and began bouncing eagerly. “What do you need?”

“Could you give your friend and I some privacy?” Tang sat up at that and MK blinked in surprise. “I have some things I wish to discuss with him that may potentially be… confidential.”

Tang scowled at the monk. That made it sound like he didn’t trust MK.

“Oh...” MK’s shoulders predictably drooped a bit. “I mean, if you really don’t want to tell me…”

“That’s not-”

“It’s okay MK,” Tang reassured, his interruption earning a brief frown from the monk. “He said it was only potentially confidential. I’m sure I’ll be able to let you know about anything important.”

“If you say so.” MK glanced suspiciously between the two serenely smiling figures, seeming to sense the tension, before he shrugged. “I guess I’ll go see if the stories helped with figuring out my powers.”

Once he was out of sight, the scholar and monk dropped their peaceful facades and glared hard at each other.

“Who are you and how were you able to summon me?” Tripitaka narrowed his eyes in accusation. “This ritual should not have been able to work on me.”

“Well it looks like it did anyway,” Tang said, glaring back. “I’m not sure I feel obligated to answer the questions of a master who mistreats their student.”

“Excuse me?!”

“You left MK alone.” Tang let all his anger show, making the monk step back in hesitation. “You showed up, dropped an emotionally devastating revelation, gave him an impossible responsibility, and then you left.”

“My purpose was to-”

“I don’t give a damn what your ‘purpose’ was supposed to be,” Tang snarled. “MK may not be Sun Wukong any more, but he’s still the Monkey King. He’s still your student.

“And when he needed you the most, you abandoned him.”

Tripitaka flinched as if he had been struck, his face pulled into a pained grimace.

Tang didn’t care. He had started the process of getting things off his chest and let the freeing momentum of it carry him.

“In all the times he’s returned to this mountain, not once did you reappear to offer reassurance or guidance.”

“I- I didn’t think-”

“Oh that much is obvious.” Tang had quite a lot of pent up frustrations. It felt good to have an outlet to release them on. “You left MK shattered and didn’t even think he would need help picking up the pieces!

“If you’re so wise, why didn’t you know how hard this would have been for him?

“If you’re so benevolent, why did you leave him to suffer in silence?

“If we’re so perceptive, why the hell did it take so long for us to notice his pain?”

Tripitaka straightened at that. His expression changed from shame, to confusion, and finally shocked understanding.

“If we’re so smart,” Tang was screaming now, tears flowing down his face as the years of bottled up emotions poured out, “then why can’t we figure out this damn curse we’re under?!

“Why?!” Tang pounded the ground with his fists as he sobbed. “Why?! Why? Why…”

Tripitaka knelt next to the scholar, waiting patiently as the sobs eventually subsided. He spoke only when Tang’s breathing had evened out.

“You’re my reincarnation, aren’t you?”

Tang jerked up in surprise at that. He had been under the assumption that this was one of those rare cycles where he had a separate soul from Tripitaka. If that wasn’t the case then…

“You aren’t actually Tripitaka.”

“No,” the monk confirmed with a sad smile. “I am merely a copy of his memories and essence given form and limited autonomy. I was sealed into this statue for the purpose of guiding my student when he eventually returned.”

Tripitaka gave a sigh and looked away in shame.

“As you’ve pointed out, I haven’t been doing a very good job at that.”

“I- Yeah, kind of.” Tang winced. “I didn’t mean to go off on you that much.”

“Don’t apologize,” the spirit said. “It was a truth I needed to hear. Not everyone would have been as honest or even brave enough to chastise someone as ‘wise’ as myself.” Tripitaka bowed his head in respect. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Tripitaka straightened and gave Tang a smile before turning serious.

“Now, you being my reincarnation explains why you were able to summon me from the statue, as I am essentially a part of you.” Tang supposed that was the tugging sensation he had felt earlier, before returning his attention back to the monk.

Tripitaka stared directly into the scholar’s eyes, concern written in his own.

“But what was that part about being under a curse?”

Whoops.

He hadn’t meant to let that slip.

“I can’t tell you.” Tang sighed and shook his head, as that wasn’t entirely accurate. “I want to tell you. Part of the curse is that whenever I tell someone about it, they’ll forget the conversation even happened a few minutes later.”

“That sounds incredibly frustrating,” Tripitaka said, his voice full of understanding and compassion. “You must feel terribly lonely.”

“You have no idea,” Tang said with a groan, laying backwards onto the ground. Tripitaka hummed, seeming to be lost in thought.

“If the curse disallows anyone except for you to know about it,” he mused out loud, “and I am an aspect of your soul's past life… Or, essentially, if that means I am you...”

Tang shot up into a seated position as he caught on.

“Then you might be immune to the curse’s effects,” he finished excitedly.

“Precisely. It’s at least worth a try.” Tripitaka shifted into a more comfortable position. “So tell me about this curse.”

Tang took a breath. What did he have to lose at this point?

So he told him.

He told him about the cycles.

He told him about the many different changes to the timeline.

He told him about dying.

He told him about the love he felt for his family.

He told him how tired he was.

He told him about losing hope of ever finding a way home.

He told him everything, and Tripitaka patiently listened.

Tang sat catching his breath for a few moments after finishing, his throat raw from both the earlier outburst and from how long it took to relay his story.

He hadn’t felt this light in decades.

It would hurt if the monk would forget, but the catharsis had been worth it.

There was silence for a while as they waited to see what would happen.

“Now that,” Tripitaka said after several minutes, a grin slowly growing on his face, “is quite the curse.”

Tang could have melted in relief.

“Oh thank the Heavens,” he breathed, wiping away fresh tears.

It worked!

“I have never been too knowledgeable when it comes to spells or magical effects,” Tripitaka admitted, before smirking at his reincarnation. “I’m sure you probably knew that already though with the amount of times you’ve been me.”

“Remind me to tell you about the cycle where we were a sorcerer researching magic,” Tang said with a chuckle. It felt so good to be able to talk about this with someone. Even if it was a copy of his past life.

“Truly? Fascinating. We are getting off topic however.” Tripitaka became serious once again. “I may not know as much as you currently do, but I can certainly tell that this is no common affliction. It is a much too complicated and in depth effect to be a simple curse anyone could cast in passing.

“You aren’t physically moving between times, or else you would have stayed dead the first time you had passed or would have aged until death had you not.

“The most interesting part is that you always awaken as a version of yourself. This makes me believe that this curse isn’t just affecting your mind, but is tied directly to your soul.

“You have probably already come to the same conclusions.”

“Yes I have,” Tang said with a sigh. “But I’ve never been able to find anything on what could cause a soul to jump across timelines.”

“Hmmm…” Tripitaka gazed off into the distance in thought. “Perhaps you are focusing on the wrong thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have been researching the what of this curse, but not the why.” The monk turned his attention back to Tang, his eyes lit with the satisfaction of figuring something out. “There are a countless number of things that can affect a soul. Far too many to properly look into even without the complications of the random changes to the histories of the worlds you visit.

“What is most important to answer here is why your soul continues to move between time.

“If the point of the curse was to banish your soul to an alternate timeline, then why didn’t it just stop after the first jump? Why do you continue to travel between these realities at set intervals?

“By working backwards from why the curse works the way it does, the what will surely be revealed in time.”

“That’s… That’s brilliant!” Tang frowned, his excitement dowsed as he thought of a complication. “But how am I supposed to figure that out?”

“Have you tried examining your soul? Perhaps that could provide some answers.”

“Examine my soul?” Tang blinked in confusion. “How would I do that?”

“Do you not know how to manifest your soul outside your body,” Tripitaka asked, genuinely surprised.

“You can do that?”

“Yes. Or at least, this reality’s version of your past life could.” Tripitaka squinted in confusion for a moment. “You must get your tenses mixed up quite a bit from all this.”

“Remind me to tell you about the cycles that involved time travel.”

“Oh that sounds like a headache just waiting to happen.” The monk shook his head. “Anyway, your past self had to use this ability in order to create me. Since I have all his memories up to that point, I know how to do it as well. I should be able to guide you through the process.”

“What do I need to do?”

“Take my hands and begin meditating. I’ll be able to do most of the work from there.”

Tang took the monk’s hands and took a few steady breaths. Meditation came easy to the scholar after the many cycles of being the monk across from him.

He ignored the strange feeling of something moving through his arms and into his chest and focused. He soon fell into a relaxing trance.

“Oh my!” Tripitaka’s gasp broke Tang’s concentration and he opened his eyes.

Floating between him and Tripitaka was what he assumed was his soul.

It was a collection of bright golden-yellow threads wrapped loosely into the outline of a sphere with empty space making up the majority of its center. Knots of light were randomly placed across the strands and one had a thread pointing off away from the sphere, seeming to stretch infinitely into the distance.

“This is unlike anything I’ve ever seen,” Tripitaka said, examining the soul closely.

“So I assume souls aren’t supposed to look like this?”

“Certainly not! Souls usually manifest as whole spheres of light.” The monk leaned in to look at the thread that was leading away from the rest of the soul. “It looks like yours has been unraveled like a ball of yarn.”

“Unraveled?” Tang swallowed nervously at that. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s not as bad as it being shattered would have been,” Tripitaka said absently. “Your soul, stretched thin as it is, still seems to be completely intact.” The monk blinked as he sat back up. “I think I’ve figured out how this curse works.”

“Don’t you mean why?”

“Practically the same question at this point,” Tripitaka dismissed. “The point is your soul has been scattered across time and space, but not shattered. It is still a complete soul.

“The reason why you’ve been jumping across these timelines is that you are following the thread of your soul to recollect the scattered pieces, or knots to go back to the yarn comparison. Each time a new cycle begins, your soul merges with the missing piece found there.

“You are literally winding your soul back together.

“I’m not sure why the cycles last a year, but my best guess is that’s how long it takes for your soul to find the next piece.”

“So that means the farther away the cycle starts from my original timeline,” Tang contributed, “the longer it takes to find the next piece. That’s why the cycles that start hundreds of years before my base time last as long as they do.”

“A reasonable assumption.” Tripitaka focused, and Tang’s soul floated gently back into his chest. “You still seem to be missing a fair amount of your soul however. You’ve already been doing this for quite some time, so I can’t even imagine how much longer it would take to collect the remaining pieces.

“But you now know why this curse works the way it does. This effect is so specific, I can’t imagine many things could have caused it.

“Once you find out what could have done this, I have no doubt you’ll be able to reverse it and return home.”

Tang’s eyes began to water once again.

The thought of continuing to be trapped in these cycles until he collected the entirety of his soul was terrifying. He had already been at this for so long.

But now there was a new hope.

He had a new lead he could follow in his research. Something specific and tangible he could look for.

For the first time in countless years, Tang felt the weight of helplessness and despair lift away.

“Thank you.” Tang let his tears fall freely as he held tightly to Tripitaka’s hands. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome, my child.” The monk squeezed Tang’s hands comfortingly. “If you ever feel the weight of your burden become too much to handle during this cycle, please come and speak to me. I’d be more than happy to offer a supportive ear.

“For now though, I do believe you are almost out of incense. It is time for me to say goodbye to you and my student who should really know better than to eavesdrop.”

There was a scrambling noise behind Tang and he turned to find MK nervously peeking out from behind a nearby boulder.

Tang laughed at the expression on MK’s face at being caught. He hadn’t felt this joyful in a long time.

“I’m sorry! I was just worried that you guys were going to fight and-!”

“You aren’t in trouble, my student,” Tripitaka said. “In fact, I should be the one apologizing to you. Your friend here was quite correct to be angry with how I’ve neglected to be there for you.

“I should have told you how to contact me during our first meeting so that you could have had someone to talk to about all of this. Instead I simply fulfilled my original duty and considered my work done.

“That was wrong of me to do. You are a wonderful person, Xiǎotiān, and it brings me great shame to have contributed in the pain you have felt.

“I am truly sorry, and hope that one day you can forgive me.”

Tang laughed once more at the stunned look MK wore.

“Say thank you, MK,” he wheezed out after a few moments when it looked like the kid was just going to stand there.

“T-thank you Mr. Tripitaka! You really didn’t have to apologize.”

“And yet I have,” Tripitaka said with a smile. His form began to fade as the last of the incense began to burn out. “My time is up for now. If you wish to speak to me again, simply channel your power into my statue and I will appear. Please do not hesitate if you ever need advice or words of comfort. I look forward to speaking to you both soon. Farewell.”

Tripitaka vanished as the incense was finally spent, leaving the area still and quiet.

Tang began to pick up the materials he had used for the summoning, MK soon joining him.

“So… You’re really Tripitaka’s reincarnation?” MK’s voice was curious as he helped clean up the altar.

“Yes I am,” Tang answered truthfully.

“Do you remember any of it?”

“Not at all.” Not in this cycle at least.

“Are you really under a curse no one can remember if you tell them?”

“I’m honestly surprised you remember even that much,” Tang said.

“Well there was a lot said in the middle and end that I can’t,” MK admitted, “which is really weird, but I do remember that part.”

“Interesting. Yes I am under a curse. I have been for a long time”

“That sucks.” MK frowned before brightening back up. “But hey! It sounded like Tripitaka remembered when you told him! It must feel good to finally be able to tell someone about it.”

Tang returned MK’s wide grin with his own.

He no longer felt tired.

“Yes. Yes it does.”

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Here we have the explanation for the fic’s title! I’ve been waiting to reveal this one for a while.

This cycle takes place in stagemanager’s story The Lost Prince. While the fic itself doesn’t say MK learned about the truth from Tripitaka, this fanart by @smallpwbbles shows that part actually happening.

The plot is picking up from here on! Hope you’re all hanging on tight! Until next time!

#Ink Writes #Scattered Cicadas #Monkie Kid #Tang #MK #Tripitaka #The Lost Prince #Lost Prince AU #stagemanager #smallpwebbles #Tang Monkie Kid #LEGO Monkie Kid

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reyeslonestar · 4 years ago

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Lone star better square the hell up if they think we are just gonna accept this lame ass apology from Owen. It’s not nearly enough and the real apology that TK deserves. He has probably lived with this relationship with Owen his entire life or at least majority of it and that’s so sad. He seems so used to this that he just sat back and continued on with the intervention. I know that comment still hurts TK because of how he even brought it up. They need to circle back to this because I’m genuinely wondering what it’s gonna take for Owen to actually act like a good father. Loving your kid isn’t enough- you actually have to actively try to be a good parent. As in- remember they exist even when TK isn’t hurt or something. As in, don’t twist things around and play victim. All TK does is love his dad and yeah he gets frustrated with Owen because who wouldn’t but he still is always there. Owen straight up acted like TK didn’t exist when he thought Gwyn’s baby was his. He only said he would schedule the surgery because ‘he’s gonna be a dad’. He only jumps into father mode when TK was shot and kidnapped. Every other time??? It’s like oh TK is mad at me that’s why he is being a paramedic now. Like dude have you ever stopped to think that maybe it’s not all about you? He just wanted the switch to the paramedic job because he likes it. These little moments add up and make me wanna yell at Owen FOR tk

anon, we are in agreement. god, I want to get tk by the shoulders and tell him that owen’s bullshit is absolutely not his fault and he has done way more than should have been expected of him. then id like to slap Owen upside the head and frogmarch him into therapy. very regular therapy.

you’ve brought up a lot of interesting things here so im going to stick most of my thoughts under a cut.

ultimately I think that the things that underscore the problems of TK and Owen’s relationship are Owen’s inconstancy and unreliability. I think theres a decent splash of narcissism in there too, which leads to him pressuring and gaslighting people, unloading his problems on random people, making himself the victim in any given confrontation, and also his misguided heroism stunts. but the root of him and TK having a fractured relationship comes from TK being unable to rely on Owen. (and hoo boy does that make me emotional about the fact that TK finally has someone he can completely rely on with Carlos)

so your first point:

this lame ass apology from Owen

honestly there were two weak apologies that stuck out to me - the first being the one during the intervention about Owen ‘going to be a father’ - yay, acknowledgment - but TK deserves an proper apology, one that doesn’t feel offhand, and not when Owen feels pressured by the environment. im sure im not the only one that felt that comment was disingenuous - it didnt feel at all like Owen actually felt sorry, or understood the damage he’d done. and then again in the vets - it felt pointed to me that TK had to confirm Owen was still going to go through with the surgery after buttercup turned out to be okay. he understandably doesn’t trust Owen to hold himself to his promises, even one he made in the last five minutes, and I think that reflects on how he views the apologies - if Owen can flip back and forth on promises about his own health, what’s stopping him from giving insincere apologies?

He has probably lived with this relationship with Owen his entire life or at least majority of it and that’s so sad. He seems so used to this

yeah I think you’re absolutely right - I think everything about their relationship, including TK’s anxieties about Owen’s unreliability, stem from him feeling left behind during his childhood (something I talked about a lot here - I wrote that a few months ago but I stand by a lot of it). and those anxieties really came out this ep because Owen keeps being incredibly inconstant this season. (not inconstant as in inconsistent characterisation, inconstant as in an unreliable character)

something I mentioned in some of my tags yesterday (and that I want to really dive into more specifically at some point) was the emotional labour that I suspect TK has had to shoulder in order to maintain their relationship. Owen has been this consistently absent figure, so TK has worked himself into Owen’s work life to be physically close to him, but Owen’s emotional distance has meant TK has taken up the emotional work too in order to maintain their relationship, and that has kind of allowed them both to pretend to themselves that they have a good relationship, with much more of the strain of maintaining that facade falling on TK.

Loving your kid isn’t enough- you actually have to actively try to be a good parent.

everything you said here. absolutely. loving someone does not equal having a healthy relationship with them, and TK and Owen definitely dont have that. TK is evidently so hyper aware of how much Owen has ignored him when it suits him - it kills me to see the way that comment about being a father has obviously been eating at him for weeks - and I really hate how controlling Owen gets when TK is in danger, but then is so utterly absent when TK’s in a good place, or even bitter and hostile when TK makes positive choices for himself. again, I talked about this in detail in this post - basically, Owen has major control issues and dude needs therapy.

don’t twist things around and play victim.

oh man, this shit pissed me off. like, I get that the subjects of interventions often have hostile reactions, but gaslighting Mateo after pressuring him into drinking and emotionally unloading on him? holy shit Owen, no. and making himself to be the victim of situations that have nothing to do with him, like TK becoming a paramedic or oversharing to the vet and the kid sitting on the roof. like, I understand that mental illness can lead you to taking shitty actions, but it still makes them shitty actions.

They need to circle back to this because I’m genuinely wondering what it’s gonna take for Owen to actually act like a good father.

yeah! I dont know what to think about this in the show, because knowing the way the show heroises Owen, I don’t know whether they’ll feel that they need to address it further than those pathetic apologies. that said, we’ve got Owen and this arson case next week and there does seem to be a tone that shows Owen as an idiot, and frames him as wrong for going against the rules and trying to sneak into a crime scene. if im right, then there would be scope for this to be an overall arc of Owen learning to become self aware and understand that he is not the centre of the universe. I just hope the show bothers to do that.

in the immortal words of Michelle Blake: Owen, get a therapist!

#911 lone star #911 lone star spoilers #episode chat 2x10 #fandom discussion #owen strand #tk strand #the strands #owen strand critical #I dont mind flawed characters #and the fact that they were addressing it (kinda) made me happy #and thats partly why I didnt mind Owen this ep #a has thoughts

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muchymozzarella · 5 years ago

Text

You know what dialogue shows just how GOOD the Adoribull relationship is from the main game (not counting Trespasser because literally every line they have in Trespasser is an Adoribull Is Great Party)?

It’s not Bull’s ridiculous jokes and/or flirting, nor Dorian’s gamely responses to them. It’s not the sexual innuendos or Dorian not so subtly obsessing over Bull’s muscles.

It’s these lines right here:

Iron Bull: Dorian, you've been to Minrathous, right?

Dorian: Of course. I'm not a plebian.

Iron Bull: You ever been to that place in the Vivazzi Plaza? With the big, cracked bell hanging off the roof?

Dorian: With the dancers, yes. You're making me homesick.

and

Iron Bull: Must grind your gristle the "Elder One" is some crazy Vint asshole, huh?

Dorian: I'm not thrilled to discover we should take those old legends at face value.

Iron Bull: Guess he thinks the modern Imperium is a real letdown, too.

Dorian: Why wouldn't he? Tevinter once covered all Thedas, its glory only matched by its depravity.

Dorian: It'd be like Koslun showing up and learning the Qunari didn't conquer the world after all.

Iron Bull: Hmm, yes. Priesthood's been trying to explain that one for centuries.

The reason these exchanges are what I see to be the best proof of why they work as a couple is because it shows that both of these men look to each other for familiarity, with both being strangers in the South bonding over being from the North.

The first set of lines involve Bull and Dorian sharing memories from a place that Dorian considers home, and one that is closer to Bull’s home than, say, Ferelden or Orlais, that he’s reminiscing over.

The second set of lines show that Dorian knows more about Qunari culture than anyone else in the Inquisition apart from Bull, and has either shown enough interest to read about it or is aware of a decent amount about the Qun, as a citizen of Tevinter, especially one from Qarinus, which was victim to many Qunari raids.

Now this might just be me as an immigrant reading into this, but Dorian and Bull’s dialogues remind me of myself, as a person of colour and immigrant, talking to other POC and immigrants, especially those with a culture very close to my own, if not outright the same. We bond over things like temperature, food, homeland, and talk to each other about similar cultures, or even the same ones.

This isn’t even mentioning the fact that they’re remarkably similar for coming from warring countries, which Bull brings up twice:

Iron Bull: Think I know what your problem is, Dorian.

Dorian: I have only the one?

Iron Bull: You see a man who's burned out, who left his people and entire life behind... and for what?

Dorian: You're not suggesting we're similar.

Iron Bull: How's that mirror treating you? Pretty picture, isn't it?

Dorian: I may vomit.

Iron Bull: Wait, wait, I'll flex a little for you. Make it easier.

and

Iron Bull: You doing all right, Dorian? I know family stuff can be rough.

Dorian: What would you know about it? True Qunari don't have families.

(If Iron Bull is Tal-Vashoth)

Iron Bull: Finding out you don't fit in with the people who raised you?

Iron Bull: Having to walk away from everything you grew up with, knowing you've disappointed the ones who loved you?

Iron Bull: I might know a bit. Takes a tough man to do it, too. So good on you, you big old fop.

Dorian: Yay. Good on me.

Dorian and Bull UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER in ways that few other Dragon Age characters do, both from a cultural / background perspective, and in terms of their personalities and character.

Add that to the fact that they’re very much sexually compatible as well as remarkably sweet even before Trespasser:

Iron Bull: Dorian’s a sweet guy. He’s gentle, and he cares under all that bluster. I’m hoping we’re good for each other.

Iron Bull: Plus, I’ve never done it with a mage before. One time, he got so excited he set the curtains on fire! (Laughs.)

and

Cassandra: So, Bull, about Dorian…

Iron Bull: Yes, it’s true.

Dorian: By all means let us discuss this together.

Cassandra: If… you’re both pleased…

Dorian: I’m happy, he’s happy, everyone’s happy.

Iron Bull: Awww, you’re happy.

Dorian: (Sighs.)

Cassandra: (Laughs.)

and

Dorian: I’ve decided to stay with the Inquisition. For now.

Inquisitor: Would that have anything to do with Iron Bull?

Dorian: It might. You know how it is.

And you have a relationship that is a genuinely good one, built on chemistry (both in terms of sexuality and personality) and understanding (both intellectually and emotionally).

They’re both intelligent, driven, damaged, strong men of the North who remind each other of home, who are used to lies and masks but show genuine softness to each other, and know and understand each other better and more than any other character in Inquisition.

Which is why Adoribull is such a good Dragon Age relationship.

#Dragon age Inquisition #Adoribull #Dorian Pavus #The Iron Bull #Dragon Age

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luninosity · 4 years ago

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Okay, so, some Falcon and the Winter Soldier thoughts (will have some spoilers) for episodes two and three. General non-spoilery comment first: I feel like these were both *okay* episodes - neither as good as the first, but I didn’t dislike them, either. I’m still really curious to see how we’re going to wrap this all up in three more episodes; it doesn’t feel like we’re halfway done yet!

Okay, more spoiler-y notes below the Read More, not in any real order, just as I think and type. I’ll probably forget some things, but for now, here’re some thoughts...

--I like ep 3 slightly more than ep 2, mostly because of Zemo!

--I actually really love Zemo here (I liked him in Civil War, too): complex, sardonic, enjoying poking at people, a villain we do feel sympathy for even as he’s still sharp enough to remind us that he is a villain. Daniel Bruhl has always done a fantastic job flipping between calculated cruelty, wry humor - the whole “I am a Baron” moment was great - and pain that for him is still raw, about the loss of his family. (Some things’re awfully cliche - look, the supervillain’s playing chess and reading Machiavelli in his cell? really? - but, y’know...sure. Why not. We expect some cliches in the superhero genre, and this is an inoffensive one.)

--also Zemo dancing. That’s it. That’s everything.

--moving on from that: I’m also really liking how they’re writing John Walker. He does have charm, and there’s a certain amount of sympathy - especially as we see him worrying about filling the Captain America shoes, in ep 2 - but we’re also getting this really subtle sense of wrongness about him. He’s clearly vindictive and angry when things (and people) don’t act according to his mental script for them, and he’s willing to use his name and power to do things like get Bucky released...which in context and given our sympathies for Bucky is a good thing, but...it’s also an indicator of his willingness to do what he wants, because he can. (To be fair, Steve Rogers also often did that! - but Steve earned our trust, both in narrative and character. From his first introduction to WWII leadership experience to all the Avengers stuff, Steve consistently acts to protect people, and he’ll also listen if someone else has a good idea or if someone needs to talk, like with Wanda.) So I’m really liking this slow-fuse character development.

--mixed feelings about Sharon. I love that the show’s acknowledging how much she sacrificed for our main heroes, with no reward. On the other hand, she also clearly knew the consequences that could happen; she said as much at the time. The level of bitterness seems like a lot. But I’m also interested in everything we still don’t know about her - if she’s not the Power Broker herself, she’s obviously Up To Something. So that should be fun.

--hey, look at that X-Men location, with Majipoor! Also a nod to Wolverine’s favorite bar there, I think?

--I love heist and disguise plots!

--I also really like Bucky’s having to revert to the Winter Soldier - Sebastian Stan does it so brilliantly, with so many layers of emotion: not wanting to, loathing it, recognizing the necessity, shutting off all emotion and just coldly doing it, hurting but covering it up...just fantastic, and you know I love some hurt/comfort, and this seems like such a great set-up for emotional hurt

--but! this also seems like...a weird plot hole, kind of? Bucky’s pretty famous at this point, right? I imagine the criminal underworld knows he’s been pardoned and deprogrammed, right? or do they assume Zemo, with his knowledge of Hydra, still has some special control over him?

--along the same “this seems like someone didn’t think this through” path, Sam, you’re a professional, turn off your phone on a mission. Oh my god. Face-palmingly stupid - and I think somewhat lazy writing, as the writers plainly needed a giveaway, and went for the first idea they had. Even if it made a main character look incompetent.

--the Flag Smashers and Karli are...fine. They feel very Generic Marvel Villain - not the big space alien type, but the other type, the “I have a personal loss and motivating pain so I’m a little sympathetic but also Clearly Evil, watch me kill civilians so the audience won’t ever find me TOO sympathetic” type. Meh. Fine. Zemo’s more interesting, but...fine.

--Anthony Mackie is such a fantastic actor - every bit of his reaction to the Isaiah Bradley reveal is so good. The anger, pain, frustration, ferocity...heartbreaking. Actually that whole scene is so good - his emotions at discovering this secret history are palpable, and it’s so painful, because we also understand why Bucky would keep the secret - as someone who knows about pain and trauma and being experimented on, and knowing Isaiah wants to be left alone - we feel really deeply for both characters here, and it’s great.

--I actually liked the abrupt swing from the Isaiah Bradley encounter to the casual everyday racism of the cops on the street - is it subtle, no. But it’s not meant to be: it’s meant to be standing up and shouting about how not that much has really changed, and about how pervasive racism is. I know some reviews were all, “this was just too much!” or “too forced!” but...look, it needs to be shouted sometimes for people to hear.

--Bucky’s notebook being Steve’s, oh, ouch, my feelings. If I had the time and energy to write fic...

--(also, if I had the time and energy to write dark!fic: where’re my fics in which Zemo’s implication about the Winter Soldier “doing anything you want” gets played with? what or who does Bucky have to do to keep the undercover charade going? so many Bad Wrong Kinky power dynamics and explorations of consent and what this would do to Bucky’s head, here, and honestly I’d totally read them all, just saying.)

--Sam and Bucky together...I don’t know. This is one of the elements that I’m not actually a huge fan of, but I think it’s partly a personal genre / sense of humor thing that’s not clicking for me, personally, again. Like...

--I don’t find people shouting aggrievedly at each other to be funny? I’m not sure why it is.

--I mean, I get that they’re doing, like, eighties buddy cop movies, but...it got old really fast then, and it’s not something we needed to bring back. It’s not clever, and it’s...well, shouty and annoying.

--(I say this as someone who genuinely likes the first two Lethal Weapon movies...but the significant difference is, I think, we’re also shown in both those movies that Riggs and Murtaugh care about each other. They don’t want to be partners initially, and they don’t get along initially, and they do argue over tactics**...but they immediately feel responsible for each other and act to protect each other even as they argue, because it’s the right thing to do and we’re shown moments of them awkwardly trying to connect, because they both have that deep sense of...protectiveness...that makes them Good People - like, if they learn something that the other person needs to know, they tell each other. They protect each other’s families / love interests. So by the end of the second movie, with that fabulous character death fake-out, Murtaugh’s initial shock and grief is real and powerful and painful, and so is his genuine relief when the worst isn’t true - and it’s all earned.) (**however, they tend to argue tactics *before* jumping in - “is it 1, 2, 3, go on 3? or 3, then go?” And then once that’s established, they go ahead. That makes a difference as far as...well...competence and teamwork!)

--(Sam and Bucky, as far as I can tell, don’t do the above, and just...maybe shouldn’t be working together?)

--I also don’t find grown men acting like my youngest nephew, when he’s having a temper tantrum, to be funny. Staring contests? Random insults? Sulking in silence? Oh, grow up.

--(Also, yes, writers, we see you with the “couples therapy” and “get closer and make your legs touch” and “landing on top of each other as they hit the ground” moments. I, at least, personally, am very tired of...I don’t know that I’d call it queerbaiting exactly, but this idea that we’re supposed to find these moments funny...because why? Because, ooh, they’re two men getting close to each other, physically or emotionally? Why is this a thing we need to draw attention to? Do you think you’re doing some sort of fan service? Please either make Sam/Bucky happen or stop doing this.)

--both Sam and Bucky are highly competent and professional agents, or they should be. They should know how to work in the field - even with people they may not like - and adapt to shifting strategy, make best use of available assets, include people in the plan, etc. I can’t help but compare this to something like, say, Leverage, which also has a team who mocks each other and makes jokes but clearly absolutely respects each other’s capabilities, has a plan going in and tells everyone what the plan is, and adapts (and trusts each other to adapt) on the fly as necessary, and does it all without random insults about someone’s (PTSD-related) staring and “robot brain”.

--one of the very specific moments that bothers me a lot is the ending of the therapy scene (yay for showing heroes in therapy! but also I’m pretty sure she’s...not a great therapist?). Bucky finally opens up and says something real, about his own self-doubt and wondering whether Steve was wrong about him....and Sam just...brushes it off and goes, “we’re done here,” basically. Not only does that feel wildly out of character for former counselor Sam, it feels cruel. I really deeply dislike that moment the more I think about it. Makes me want to scream.

--Sam insults Bucky way more than the other way around. It’s starting to feel very one-sided (it’d be better if more clearly reciprocal, though it’s still not a dynamic that’s my favorite), and again, feels out of character - maybe this is Anthony Mackie’s sense of humor, but Sam isn’t Mackie, and Bucky isn’t Seb, and it reads as...a weird unbalanced power-trip thing to me. And also out of character for Sam, who can be sarcastic (”If you guys eat that sort of thing,” about breakfast, when Steve and Nat have randomly shown up at his door) but that’s not the same as just throwing unprovoked insults at a person who’s trying to recover from trauma, and a lot of those insults seem to center on things that were done to Bucky, that he had no choice in (the staring, the arm, etc), and that feels....it just feels mean, to me. Make fun of things he’s had a choice in / can do something about, if you have to - hair, clothes, liking “old people’s games” like gin rummy or pinochle, not knowing who Beyonce is, I don’t know, there are so many options that aren’t cruel! Do that instead. Let Bucky have a good comeback for once, too!

--the action scenes are action scenes. Also fine.

--Sam might be right about destroying the shield, and the show may even be (unintentionally?) setting that up as the best outcome, but that’s a problem for the future, Sam; get it back first. Also it’s a problem you caused by giving the shield up - did you really trust the government to leave it unused in a museum? You’re not that naive.

--overall, it’s...a perfectly fine show, so far, I think? Solid, and interesting, but not great. I think some of what doesn’t work for me is because it doesn’t work for me personally, as far as the shouty insult-heavy action “comedy” bits that I’m not enjoying, but I think they’re doing what they aimed for with it, so in that sense, I guess it’s working? There’s a lot of really cool stuff around the edges - John Walker, Isaiah Bradley, that Dora Milaje stinger, the bigger world of a history interwoven with racism and superpowers, the chillingly effective use of Bucky’s past - but I wish I liked the central Sam-Bucky relationship more. Individually they’re wonderful - they’ve both had such powerful scenes dealing with family, trauma, and consequences - but I feel like, in the effort to do the buddy comedy dynamic, the writing has just made me really sure that they actually genuinely don’t like each other? To such an extent that if they show any affection / caring / interest in each other in the last three episodes, it won’t be believable. (I mean Sam and Bucky, not Mackie and Seb. Mackie and Seb’re adorable.)

--I just want to think about Zemo dancing some more.

#the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #spoilers #fatws spoilers #thoughts

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smileytiger28 · 3 years ago

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the suicide squad high school AU

Thank you @psychicmewhealer for making this w/ me, also neither of us are gonna write this so feel free to steal all these ideas

Prologue: Robert DuBois (sophomore) narrowly passes his classes, but his real passion lies in sports. He looks up to Christopher Smith (senior), captain of the basketball team. Chris catches on and offers to mentor Robert. The two develop a close relationship; when the two become romantically involved, Robert thinks it’s genuine, but Chris actually just wants to use Robert’s prowess to maintain his legacy of best athlete at the school once he graduates. Robert basically worships Chris so he tells himself all the toxic stuff Chris does is justified. Chris attributes all Robert’s athletic prowess to himself and all his flaws to Robert’s inadequacy. For some reason (still working this out), Chris dumps him and tells him he was never worthy of this mentorship.

The fic starts a few weeks after the breakup. Robert’s toxic relationship with Chris leaves him feeling unworthy, inadequate, and depressed. Outside of Robert he never had any social life, so he’s lonely too. His sports performance is suffering, and his grades are edging into failing territory. That last point leads to the intervention of one Principal Amanda Waller. She sets him up with Richard Flag, the overachieving straight-A student that heads the student mentorship program.

Over the course of the fic Rick and Robert sort through their issues, fall in love, set up a whole-ass friend group (the Suicide Squad, duh) and everybody in that friend group has to sort out their issues.

Harley Quinn just broke up with Mister J (her name for a student whose name starts with a J, class clown, high on the social ladder. maybe the drama teacher, and that’s why she calls him Mr. J?) She broke up with him after a fight, but he basically gaslit her into believing she’s the worst, all good parts of her come from him, all bad parts come from herself, she’s best when she plays down how smart she is, ‘cause dumb girls are sexier, etc. (Robert has to come to terms with the parallels between Mr. J’s treatment of Harley and Chris’s treatment of him, and Rick has to affirm that he is worthy of love.) Harley has to learn how to come into her own, not be afraid to be her AP-Psych-nerdy self, and finally ask out that girl she’s always wanted to talk to.

That girl being the lonely Pamela “Ivy” Isley. She doesn’t think she clicks with people, instead spending her time in the school’s biology classroom, where she can take care of the plants and talk about biochemistry and environmental science with her teachers. She thinks Harley is way too pretty and cool for her, an impostor, to even approach, and she’s extremely flustered when Harley finally talks to her. So she has to get over her social anxiety & realize she can Be Herself yay (also poison ivy is harley’s pet name for her)

Abner Krill is the emo kid who sits in the corner with earbuds and a dark grey hoodie. His parents are divorced, and he lives with his anti-vaxx helicopter mom. He’s accepted that his body isn’t his own. His journey is about building the courage to get vaccinated, and by proxy, forging his own path, identity, and fortitude. Because the needle from each vaccine leaves a dot in his arm, he makes a code with his friends where he calls vaccines “polka-dots” in text messages, and takes a break from his grey/black monochrome T-shirts to wear a polka-dotted polo on the days he sneaks to the health clinic to get vaccinated. (or maybe the day after, like as a victory shirt for his friends to understand?)

Milton lives near a health clinic, so Abner convinces Milton to drive him to get his vaccines. Having just immigrated from Corto Maltese with his family, Milton is rather shy and self-conscious about his fish-out-of-water status, but quickly develops a rapport with Abner; he respects his courage and falls in love with his dorky weirdness and sweetness, So Milton and Abner obviously fall in love and have to get past their shyness and lack of self-confidence to Get A Room™

Nanaue is a surfer dude who is genuinely just a really caring guy but the other jocks don’t extend their empathy to him? so he doesn’t have any friends on the sports side of things, and he’s definitely struggling academically. he has to accept friendship from others and find out that he is loved (ik this one is bad please help)

Cleo Cazo has rejected humanity as a species. Recently, her father died, and her grief-stricken mother can’t provide adequate emotional support. She processes her grief sitting in the corner of the cafeteria with the rats, her father’s favorite animal. She has developed a rapport with one rat in particular, called Sebastian. She must develop nourishing relationships with humans (not to the exclusion of rats ofc), process her grief, understand that she is not alone, and make everybody best friends with Sebastian.

Once the friend group has warmed up to one another (so, lots of character development later), Rick invites everyone to a sleepover at his house. His parents are out on business trips, and even the kids whose home lives aren’t abysmal are eager, if nervous, to spend time together in a youthful, carefree setting. This allows for lots of cutesy fluff (they make cookies in the kitchen, Harley and Ivy feed each other cookies like the gay people they are, couples cuddling @ night, etc) but also angst. Because Rick has been silent about his home life, and literally being at his house forces the friend group to be more open about himself. His parents tell him off sternly when he gets bad grades and otherwise emotionally neglect him. He’s really an academic overachiever because of his parents’ expectations. He feels like his problems aren’t worth talking about because “everyone else has it off worse.” With the help of his friends (especially Robert), he learns it’s okay to let himself be dissatisfied. He can set up boundaries; he doesn’t have to hold the weight of all his schoolwork and his friends’ problems on his shoulders to be worthy.

It probably ends with Harley throwing a party with lots of food and sloppy makeout sessions between the couples <3

#the suicide squad #tiger roars 🐯#dc #fanfic #high school au

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help-im-a-gay-fish · 4 years ago

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Okay, tell me more about Cream twins partners. How each couple met? How they end up together? Any fun cute facts? SPAM ME WITH INFORMATION! 🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸

Ooo! Yay! @kotikaleo this is a good ask.

Before I begin I want to make sure to clarify that both Crayon and Cindy were created by the wonderful @thebluescreen so credit for the characters go to them. (we share 3 ship kids universes)

And once again I wanna say : Disclaimer, This Celest and Luna are the children of Cross and Dream. NOT Cross and Shattered Dream. They are a alternate universe version of the Dark cream twins. They should not be confused as being the same.

I'm gonna start with Celest and her husband Crayon.

These two first met when Celest was 11 and Crayon was 12. For them it was basicly love at first sight. Celest and Luna both grew up travelling around the multiverse and that's how the met.

Crayon is a half human half monster who originally came from a dust tale time line. But more about him will come from @thebluescreen

It was an awkward, inconvenient first encounter. Luna had just broken her leg trying to do a back flip off a table (she was a dumb kid) and Celest (who had been learning first aid from a book) attempted to set it. And she made it a whole lot worse. (cross and dream weren't there at the time, they had left them alone for 10 minutes)

Crayon and his friend went over to help luna. The stress of the situation caused celest to throw up a large amount of gloop and then loose her strength in her legs and fall over. Crayon was close enough to her to catch her as she fell and gently lowered her to the ground. They locked eyes and well, they had basically been crushing on eachother since then.

It took Luna locking them in a room together and refusing to let them out till they confessed to do the trick.

They got together when Celest was 15 and Crayon was 16.

The two were very much in love. The slightly over the top, sugary sweet, child hood sweethearts. Used a bunch of cheesey names.

"I love you my sugar sweet snuggle muffin"

"not as much as I love you my cookie cream cuddle bear"

And luna is just the awkward 3rd wheel.

OK so Luna was in a relationship with this monster called Daisy from the age of 16 to 20. Daisy was a bitch, but more on that below.

It was all good till Celest turned 18, she started to get soul pain. Up until this point her sickness had been bothersome, but not to serious.

But after seeing a soul doctor, she was informed that the curruption was starting to attack her soul, and there was a possibility that it would kill her. Of course her and her family were heart broken, crayon included.

Celest went through a stage of being unhappy. The idea that she could die terrorised her. She had nightmares and got stressed to the point of alot of puking fits.

Her main conforts where her sister and boyfriend.

"I just can't help thinking of everything I'll miss out on. Marriage, children...... Travelling the multiverse...... But at least I have you right?"

So crayon responded with.

"then let's get married"

Of course Celest was shocked and was sure she'd misheard him. But then he said.

"you said that you were afraid of missing out on it, but this way we won't! I want to marry you, if you'll have me."

Celest said.

"but we are both so young, you shouldn't have to carry my burden. You have a life to live"

He said

"I want to spend it with you"

And she said yes.

Yay.

They were married just under a year later and where very happy. Cross was alittle sad to see his princess grow up so fast. But in the end they were all happy.

Crayon is truly Celest's rock. He's very sweet and good to her. To him, she is the bright light in his life, with her kindness and smarts.

They normally spend there time curled up watching movies. Or taking trips to aus like outertale to look at stars. Its all very lovey dovey.

For Luna, love was never all that easy. As I said above her first girlfriend Daisy was a bitch.

Daisy was a emotionally horrible person to Luna. Constantly telling her things like, how she needs to summon ecto or she looks like a man. Or how bones just aren't that attractive. How that fact that she was so close to her sister was creepy. In the end it was revealed that she'd been cheating on Luna while Luna had been helping her sister in the hospital. Luna finally dumbed her.

Years passed and Luna would tell people that she was ok and over it. But in truth it left huge emotional scars. She started avoiding committed relationships like the plague.

Over the years she has had a few casual girlfriends, flings and hook ups. But she told people that long term wasn't her thing, Celest knew that wasn't true, but she couldn't force her sister to date someone. It all changed when she ment Cindy.

She meets Cindy when she's 27. Basically, she met Cindy through Crayon. Since Cindy was the best friend of Crayon's sister's boyfriend.

Cinder is a underlust Sansby child and is a girl who knows what she's got and flaunts it slightly. When Luna first saw her, she went into 'oh no she's hot' mode.

Infact this was there first interaction.

Cindy "hi, I'm Cinder. It's nice to meet you"

Luna *gay panic*

Luna "wanna see me do a back flip?"

Cindy "wa-

Luna trys to back flip and falls on her face.

Cindys "you ok there?" *offers hand to help her up*

Luna *takes her hand and is helped to her feet*

Luna *more 'omg she's touching me!' gay panic *

Luna "wanna see me do a back flip?"

So yeah, Luna is very gay.

The attraction was physical to start with. Luna was smitten to the strong, confident, sexy fire girl. Que Luna repeatedly doing stupid things to try and impress her.

The best way to sum it up would be.

Pfff OK XD

Luckily for Luna though, Cindy starts to fall for the goofy cluts. Not only is Luna just a loveable idiot, but she is also quite attractive.

Cindy comes in one day while she's training and watches her spar with Cross and do a back flip successfully. She's a skilled fighter and is just as Good At Yoga as her dad is. So yeah, Luna is quite attractive to Cinder in her own right.

Cindy starts using alot of pet names for her, calling her Moony and Princess. This embarrasses Luna to no end.

So what happens? Well.

After Luna has once again fallen to the ground while trying inpress Cindy and is kind of laying there defeated. The following conversation happens.

Cindy "you need some help there Moony?"

Luna *blushes* "you know I'm gonna come up with an embarrassing nickname to call you, you know!"

Cindy "really Princess?"

Luna "yes! Uhhhhh Cinderella! Ha!"

Cindy "Cinderella? You think I've not been called that before"

Luna "dam it uh... I've got it! Toffee"

Cindy "Toffee"

Luna "yes, like Cinder toffee, and because you really like sweet foods and-

Cindy "and you could totally eat me?" *smirks*

Luna *without thinking* "yes absolutely"

Silence.

And my friend if you don't get the joke.... Its probably to mature for you. This basically causes Cinder to turn up the flirt on Luna, who is very embarrassed about saying that. To Cindy it has basically been confirmed that Luna wants her, and she's into that.

Luna freaks out *thank you gay panic* and yells "I'M STRAIGHT!" and runs away.

Luna then spends the next two days being consoled by her sister. Meanwhile Cindy asks around to find out if Luna is really straight. It is very quickly confirmed to her that Luna is very much gay and very much into her.

She conforts Luna about this and after Luna attmits that she is gay and is about to confess her crush, Cindy pins her to the wall and kisses her.

Long story short Luna gets to eat her and they go to bed together. And after that they become 'causal' girlfriends. It doesn't take to long for there feelings for eachother to evolve from a physical attraction into real love. But they would never confront their feelings.

Texting eachother till the early hours of the morning? just causal.

Inviting Cindy to family Christmas? just causal.

Laying in eachothers arms in bed, not wanting to get up. Just causal.

Who knows if they will ever confront how they really feel? Maybe some unfortunate life events will force them to.

Fun facts about the couples.

Cindy has a whole bunch of pet names for Luna, after they start dating she most commonly calls her Starlight. But has a whole list more

Crayon loves to buy his wife flowers. He's quite a soft man and I like to think he takes great care in picking out a bunch of flowers. He'll most commonly buy her roses. He also likes to prepare picnics so that they can go out to aus together.

Cindy has a huge sweet tooth. Luna has often tried to bake for her. Lu Lu isn't a very skilled Baker though. But if she presents Cindy with a plate of slightly burnt cupcakes splattered with icing, it will make Cinder's heart melt.

Crayon often has to help Celest get dressed in the mornings. Since the marks commonly appear on her arms and legs. Crayon has taken a very long time to practice how to help her dress without causing pain.

Some mornings, especially after they've had a busy night, Cinder will often steal Luna's shirt. She will wear it around the house. "but babe... That's my shirt"........... "I've got no idea what you're talking about Moony".

Celestial star would be the type to call her husband at work out of nowhere just to remind him that she loves him.

The first time they kissed, Celest got so nervous and excited that she threw up gloop all over him.

Cindy loves to roller skate and would attempt to teach Luna how to. After a long time of Luna falling over into many comprising positions, Cinder simply wraps her arms around her waist and they skate together.

Crayon is a half human-half monster, so he can practice some magic. One thing he likes to do is make little figures of butterflys fly around his wife's hospital room when she has to stay at the hospital. It always makes her day.

#Ask #This took a while to type out #Hope ya like it #Bluescreen says they will be posting art of Crayon and Cindy soonish #Be sure to ask them for more details #undertale au #shipping #cross x dream #undertale multiverse #sansest #dream x cross #celestial star and luna light #Ships for the ship kids #Cindy x luna #Crayon x celest #Cream ship kids

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