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lady-october · 5 months

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Pairing : Oli Sykes x Female Assistant Genre : Romance, Smut (18+ Only) Previous Chapters : 1-14 on Archive of Our Own

Content : 18+, Smut, Drama, Choking, Power dynamics, Romance, Dom/Sub, Sadism/Masochism, Mentions of addiction & self harm, Degradation, Praise kink, Exhibitionism, Breath play, Dirty talk.

Summary :

“Don’t you see what a dangerous game you’re playing? Why did you have to look so fucking delicious tonight, I couldn’t stop undressing you in my mind, thinking of all the twisted things I want to do to you.” She had only worked on the touring team for three weeks, but her mind had been hijacked by dirty thoughts of a man she barely even talked to. Sure, he was very attractive, but were there other reasons she was so uncontrollably drawn to him? This is a filthy story of pain, self discovery, and love.

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Chapter 15: My head wasn't wired for this world

Chapter title is lyrics from "Avalanche"

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Oli was slouched over at the front of the stage, legs dangling over the edge near the barricades, looking out over the vast, dark and empty space, only dimly lit by a handful of spotlights throughout the arena.

When I slowly ascended the steps to the stage I pushed away the fear I felt about these types of spaces. While avoiding the stage completely was impossible when working on the touring team, I had always made my time on them as short as humanly possible, never actually taking in the view.

There was just something about how you could be seen so clearly from the entire arena when you were up here that made me anxious, but the fact that only Oli and I were here made the whole experience a lot more palatable, so I crouched down and took a seat next to him and let myself look out over the empty floor and seats, still covered in the majority of tonight's confetti and debris.

“I’ve never really seen an arena like this before.” I said with wonder.

“You’ve worked with us for like a month now, how is that possible?” He didn’t look my way as he spoke flatly, clearly upset.

My response came a lot quieter than my previous statement, “I try to avoid the stage as much as I can.”

Silence fell between us as I wasn’t sure how to approach the topics that were haunting us both, not even sure what I felt up for talking about.

“Thank you for last night. I was a bit of a mess.” Was the best I could come up with.

“Don’t worry about it.” Some of the bitterness emitting off of him dissipated, so I decided to take the plunge into the harder topic.

“I’m sorry about all this stuff with Mat.”

He huffed out a frustrated laugh, his eyes darting everywhere except in my direction.

“I feel like I’m going insane. Listening to you flirt with someone else…” His demeanour changed rapidly along with his tone of voice, now laced with anger, “Guess I had it coming after what I did to you at the party the other night.”

My heart sank. Did he really think I was doing this to hurt him?

“I’m not a vengeful person, Oli.” My own words came angrier than I’d intended.

He dropped his head, shaking it, appearing utterly defeated, “Then what the fuck are you doing, Alice…” He muttered.

“I don’t know.” I said, more to myself than him.

As I watched him not being able to face me, my heart ached so much that I couldn’t take it anymore. I got to my feet and started to make my way towards the steps. But I could hear him moving behind me, and right before I could exit the stage he pushed in front of me, shooting me daggers.

He appeared furious, yet all I could feel was a huge sense of relief over the fact that he was finally looking at me.

“Mat’s a good man, charming too – a lot less troubled than I am.” As he spoke he stalked me backwards, clearly intent on not letting me leave yet.

But I didn’t mind, I wanted his attention.

I almost immediately hit the wall of the second stage level that had yet to be disassembled, and I was left with a view of the arena, swimming behind the man that had cornered me, staring down at me with such intensity that I wouldn’t have been able to tell whether he was about to fuck me or argue with me if it wasn’t for the context of the situation.

“Who said I want someone less troubled?” I asked, feeling an involuntary shiver of lust snake its way up my spine from his threatening approach.

“It’s not a stretch to assume, is it?” He took one last step towards me, not quite close enough to touch me, but close enough that I could feel the heat emitting off of him, “We’ve fought over women in the past – he tends to win.”

“I find that hard to believe.” I gingerly placed my hand on his warm chest, both because I couldn’t resist touching his bare, art covered skin over the buttons of his revealing jacket, but also because I wanted to show him where my attraction lay between the two men.

His gaze dropped to my hand before he shot me a bitter smile, “Women want to fuck me, not date me.” I swallowed and removed my hand, realising how my gesture had come across considering what he just told me, “At least not once they get to know me… I think the problem is we’re drawn to similar women, and that type of women tend to favour men like Mat in the end.”

While my feelings had obviously chosen Oli already, what he was saying made a surprising amount of sense, especially if you were the type of person who craved stability over passion. Yet I couldn’t help but feel like a complete imposter, clearly not worthy of either man's attention.

“Men generally don’t want much to do with me in either department.” I felt pathetic admitting it to him, and saying the words out loud somehow solidified how I didn’t belong here.

He watched me for a while, as if trying to make sense of what I was saying.

“Thought we agreed on no more lies, love.” While his words could have been construed as accusive, his tone was sweet, turning his sentence more flirty. But I didn’t feel flirty, I felt like the shy loser I’d been trying to run away from; I felt like the girl trapped living with a man she didn’t love, because she was too scared of the world.

The familiar burn of unshed tears began to sting at the back of my eyes, “It’s not a lie. I’m fucking broken.”

I tried to push past him but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder, and placed the other under my chin, guiding me to look at him as a lone tear ran down my cheek.

“Alice, that’s madness.” All the intensity on him had melted away, replaced with a soft and caring voice that matched the expression of his beautiful eyes.

“I can’t do this. I’m not made for this life.” I said quietly as I tried to keep the dam from bursting inside me, entirely too fed up with crying.

Frowning, he let go of my chin to dry my wet cheek, “Of course you are, life can be whatever you want it to be.”

“I have social anxiety.” I blurted out, trying to make him understand why I’m not right for him, for either of them.

“I know.” His response came immediately, completely unsurprised and unbothered.

Of course he already knew, it couldn’t be more obvious from the way I behave on a daily basis.

My head dropped out of embarrassment, “How am I supposed to be with a celebrity when I can barely keep from stuttering when talking in front of more than two people at a time.”

“Your stutter’s adorable, anyone with half a brain cell can see that.”

When I dared to look back up at him, I was met by eyes swimming with adoration. But I decided that it was misplaced, that his perception of me was skewed and incorrect, so I kept pushing.

“Whenever I’m not distracted enough, I get so depressed I can barely leave my bed for weeks.”

He placed a hand on the wall next to my head and leaned in closer with a smirk, “Lots of things we can do in bed.”

I felt my cheeks flush at his words, but the pain remained, “Oli, please… I’m broken.”

His smirk fell away as he looked at me with sympathy, followed by a sigh, “I’ve got addiction issues, chronic nightmares, ADHD, and I also slip into depression at times. We’re all broken, love.”

His eyes lit up suddenly and the faintest hints of a smile reappeared on his lips.

“What’s your favourite colour?” He asked out of nowhere.

I couldn’t help but frown in confusion, “What?”

“Favourite colour.” He repeated, more demanding this time.

“I-I mean, blue I guess–”

“Favourite food?”

“Sushi. Why are you–”

He looked utterly appalled as he cut me off with judgement in his voice, “Fucking disgusting, you should reconsider that.”

I gasped, eyebrows knotting into a deep frown, “Oh please, you’ve probably never tried any good sushi– and before you argue that you don’t eat fish, there’s plenty of good options without it– also, rich coming from Mister I basically only eat things that are so processed I can’t even tell what’s in it!”

As I was ranting his whole face bloomed into an absolutely delighted smile, causing my annoyance to spread further.

“I love when you’re like this.”

My jaw dropped, “You like when I'm annoyed!?”

He chuckled, “Relaxed.”

“Trust me, I’m not relaxed.”

“Your guard’s down. You’re just yourself – wild opinions and all. I don’t get to see it too often. It’s mostly been when you’ve cussed me out, or when we…” His gaze dropped out of what seemed akin to embarrassment, and his smile turned significantly more suggestive, “You know.”

All the annoyance left me immediately at the sight of him struggling to talk about sex, causing me to adopt a more cheerful expression.

“I thought I was the shy one, you can’t even say it?” I teased.

A low and absolutely filthy laugh left him, “Honestly love, if I start talking about it I’ll just get hard, and I’d rather focus on getting to know you better right now.” Without skipping a beat he moved on to his next question, “Favourite animal?”

“And why is right now the time to get to know me?”

“Why not? Favourite animal.”

My smile grew as I looked at him. I couldn’t tell if this was an attempt to cheer me up by moving away from the dreary topic, or if this was his way of showing that he’s still interested in me, despite all my flaws – or maybe it was because Mat had gotten a chance to learn more about me and he felt left out. Regardless of the reasons, I wasn’t going to deny him this.

“Cats.”

Disbelief painted his features, “Fuck off, dogs are so much better.”

“They slobber everywhere.” I retorted, scrunching up my face.

“Not all dogs, and cats are mischievous little bastards.”

“You should be able to relate then.” I don’t know how he did it, but he’d somehow managed to completely turn my mood around, and get me right back to feeling flirty.

The fight faded from him instantly at my remark, and he lowered his head with a grin. When his eyes returned to mine they were dark and playful.

“Favourite artist?”

I paused, considering my response, “Is that a trick question?”

“Of course.” He responded, studying my face.

Suddenly his lighthearted demeanour began to shift, turning more serious. When his next question came it was asked with a distinctly more thoughtful tone, clearly punctuating that we’re venturing into significantly deeper waters.

“What’s a dealbreaker to you?”

As his eyes pierced mine I felt the moment turn heavy from the loaded question. I knew that these types of conversations were incredibly important to determine whether we were compatible at all. But there were always great risks to learning the answers, with the looming potential of completely derailing any thoughts of what could have been.

I felt my heart rate speed up as I decided to join him in the depth, addressing the thing that should have put an end to my last relationship years ago if it wasn’t for my fears.

“I.. don’t think I want children.”

He visibly relaxed at my response, “Good, cause I’ve had a vasectomy.”

A sense of relief washed over me, knowing I’d never have to worry about that pressure with him if we decided to take things further – and suddenly his willingness to cum inside me made so much more sense. For me it had always been an easy decision, having had an IUD for years.

The part where we both made ourselves vulnerable to disease however, that can’t be chalked up to anything besides the stupidity that so easily surfaces when you’re beyond a certain level of turned on, and common sense flies right out the window.

While I wanted to return the question to him, to learn what would rule me out as a potential future partner, I also found myself curious as to why he’d done something so permanent to prevent having children when there’s less invasive ways.

“How come? I mean, I understand not wanting children, but why something so… final?”

“I just don’t want to risk it. I’ve been sure I don’t want kids for a long time. It’s not that I dislike them or anything, but with all my issues I’ve really just wanted to focus on myself and what’s important to me,” Before he continued, a softness emerged in his tone of voice, ”...such as finding love, and making that person a priority in my life.”

Understanding that the last bit had been aimed at me, I felt the familiar discomfort bubble under the surface, so I decided to steer the conversation back on track.

“What about you, what’s your deal breakers?”

He answered immediately, his response dripping with bitterness, “Cheating.”

“That’s a given. What else?”

There was a pause this time.

“Being shut out emotionally.” He answered, hints of sadness emitting from him.

His reply stirred up some confusion in me, an uncertainty whether he was referring to some of my behaviour, spoken as a pleading to let him into my heart. Or whether it had been in reference to something that happened in his past.

“Anything else?” He added.

It was my turn to think, but it didn’t take long.

“Someone trying to control me.”

He huffed out an amused laugh, “You sure about that? You seem to enjoy it a fair bit.”

I smiled back at him, “Not like that… Someone trying to make me something I’m not, which sounds daft cause I barely even know who I am anymore, but I just, I want space to figure that out.”

His hazel eyes swam with emotion as his hand reached for my cheek, the back of his fingers caressing my skin with the same tenderness as last night. While the gesture tugged at my heart, I couldn't for the life of me understand why he had any interest in someone like me.

“How can you be sure you have feelings for me, if I’m just a shell of a person?” I asked under my breath.

“I’m not sure that’s true, love.” He responded, speaking softly, “I know you’re kind, witty – incredibly sexy, and you’re working really hard to get to know and explore yourself, which I don’t just really admire, but it’s a journey I’ve been on myself for a while now.”

“What if I become something… undesirable?” As I asked my question that so clearly highlighted my insecurities, I was struck with the realisation that I wasn’t sure I’ve ever been this emotionally vulnerable with anyone before.

“I find that very hard to believe.” He scanned my face, “Is that what this is about, you’re scared I won’t like who you become?”

The truth is that I wasn’t sure I’d survive that intense degree of rejection. While mind numbing and soul destroying, it had been infinitely simpler to stay so void of personality for so long. At least then if someone disliked me it didn’t mean much at all. But if I grew into myself, accepted who I was as a person with opinions and interests, only for someone to decide that I wasn’t good enough? The thought of that alone was hard enough, I couldn’t even imagine the heartbreak if that level of rejection came from someone I actually loved.

“Part of it, but not all of it.” An honest answer without going into the specifics, or delving into the other reasons I’m full of uncertainty.

Some of the previous intensity made a reappearance on him, “It would be an honour to help you find yourself, love – no matter who you become.”

I looked away awkwardly, knowing how much he’d already kickstarted my self discovery, “In some ways you already have.” I opened and shut my mouth a couple of times before I found the words to continue, “I didn’t know I liked some things before… sexually.”

Suddenly his eyelids lowered, and so did his tone of voice, “Like being called a whore?”

The way he emphasised the word immediately made my knees weak, and I had to lean more of my weight onto the wall behind me.

I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I simply nodded.

A quick grin flashed over his lips as he gently placed his hand over my throat, causing my breath to hitch.

“Being choked…”

His words sounded distant as his dark gaze was transfixed on his hand on me,

“...Humiliated,”

His thumb leisurely ran up my throat to graze my jaw.

I nodded again, a bit more shaky this time, which seemed to have snapped him out of the lustful state he’d clearly lost himself in for a moment, as his eyes shot back to mine, appearing more sober now.

He swallowed and let his hand fall away from me before stepping aside to lean against the wall next to me, leaving me unpleasantly cold after having relished the heat radiating off of him for so long.

We stared out into the dark space together for a beat before he continued speaking, allowing me some much needed time to collect myself, and slow my breathing that had apparently become quite laboured.

“I’ve done some similar things before, but it’s different with you, in a way that makes my past experiences seem shallow and meaningless.” His words still sounded distant, “I see it in your eyes, you know. It doesn’t just turn you on, does it? It's like you come alive from it.” He huffed out a small laugh then threw me a side glance, “Or am I just talking out my ass here?”

I tried to meet his eyes, but he instantly looked away when I turned my head towards him, as if fighting himself to not slip back into his previous carnal state, not ready to stop talking to me just yet.

“No, I think you explained it pretty well actually.” I answered, sounding just as flustered as I felt, made obvious by the way he shifted his body in discomfort as I spoke, letting his head rest against the wall as he shut his eyes for a second, appearing tense from the invisible restraints he’d put himself in.

After taking a deep breath he pressed on, “Thing is, you’re so desperate for me to push you further and further that I’m constantly torn between holding back too much, or taking things too far. It makes me not trust myself,” He allowed himself to look at me as he spoke the next words, sounding apologetic, “...or you for that matter.”

My brows furrowed, “But, I promised I’d let you know if things go too far.”

He gave me a sombre smile, “Doesn’t matter if you don’t want to be safe, love.”

While his concerns made sense, my subconscious didn’t agree with him.

“I think that maybe you’re mistaking my trust in you for carelessness.”

It was his turn to frown. He studied my face for a long time with a contemplative expression, clearly deep in thought from my statement. After a while he looked away with a sigh. When his gaze travelled back to mine, it seemed he’d allowed himself to feel some of the lust he’d so valiantly attempted to push away, as if my counter argument had won during his internal battle. Because his eyes were suddenly dark and hungry – and his voice matched them perfectly.

“You like it when I scare you, don’t you?”

My whole body reacted to the question, heating up, yearning – wanting to finally be touched, to be played with. Our conversation had gone on for so long, repeatedly slipping into desire, yet we’ve been continuously ripped away from it. The more times it happened the more desperate the both of us clearly grew.

As I slowly nodded in response to his question, his gaze fell to my dark lips, and a pained expression flashed over his features, “To be honest love, drives me wild to see some fear on you.” His eyes travelled back up to mine and his next words were spoken under his breath, “...How fucking wet you get from it.”

My pulse descended between my legs, soaking me further, adding to the wetness already lingering there from each time he’d turned me on tonight.

He held out his hand, indicating for me to take it. As I slipped my fingers into his open palm, he led me to stand before him.

“Take this off.” He murmured, giving my sweater a gentle tug.

I was suddenly acutely aware of our location. Knowing Oli repeatedly had me do compromising things in precarious places, I should have expected somewhere like this to be on the table. But since I was still relatively clothed underneath my sweater, I decided to go along with his request without overthinking it.

I slipped the sweater over my head to reveal the vulgar, silk dress, with a deep, plunging neckline underneath, along with the marks on my body that I hadn’t bothered using concealer on due to how well the fabric had hid them all. He immediately took the sweater off me, flinging the offending garment to the side of the stage where it disappeared into the darkness.

As he took in the sight of me, he released a long, ragged sigh, “Fucking travesty to cover this up.”

He slipped a hand to the small of my back and crushed my body against his, and I could immediately feel the outline of his hard cock pressed against my stomach.

At no point had I dared sneak a peek between his legs during our conversation, knowing I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else considering his attire.

Heat spread rapidly throughout my whole being at the sudden full body contact, causing my heart rate to speed up along with my breathing. I reached for his chest to steady myself against him, to feel him, digging my fingers into the bright red fabric of his cropped jacket, forcing it to shift under my hands and reveal more of the inkwork hidden there.

When my vision eventually ripped itself away from his chest in order to travel upwards, I was met with parted lips, and tufts of hair framing a delightfully lust-riddled face, so close to my own that our heavy breaths mingled.

A thumb appeared at my mouth, placing itself gently on my lower lip adorned by the dark, velvety lipstick.

“This is new for you.” He whispered with a flash of a grin, mesmerised by the sight of his thumb as it grazed along the lip, smudging the colour there, my mouth opening further from the intoxicating sensation, “...I love it.”

I was so lost in what he was doing to me that I’d completely forgotten where we were, which Oli decided it was time to correct, as he grabbed me by the hips to turn me around. The reminder of the view caused my eyes to widen, shyness creeping back in from every angle. But the man behind me pulled me flush against his warm and solid body again, causing me to effortlessly, eagerly melt back into him – back to the same intoxicated state he had me locked in mere moments ago, now with his cock nestled perfectly against my ass.

With his lips against my ear, dark hair falling into my peripheral vision, warm breaths fanning my cheek, all I could do was close my eyes and drown in him as his hands started roaming my body.

“No, open your eyes.” He whispered against my ear, one of his hands slowly caressing my inner thigh, with the other holding me firmly against him, splayed on my stomach.

I fulfilled his request, prying my eyes open, feeling the discomfort wash over me as I stared out into the massive, open space.

“Wouldn’t want you to forget where you are, now would we?” I could feel his lips twist into a smile against my ear as he spoke softly, clearly deriving great pleasure from my distress, further adding to my unease and arousal in equal parts.

The hand on my stomach began trailing upwards, caressing the bare skin between my breasts, so flimsily covered by the black silk.

“Do you have any idea how much I love to make you uncomfortable, my dear, sweet Alice?” His words came low as his lips moved along my ear, “...To watch you squirm, trying your very best to keep it together for me like a good whore.”

His hand disappeared under the fabric, shifting it slowly to reveal one of my breasts to the empty arena. My heart rate sped up further, making me feel slightly lightheaded.

I felt his dick tense against me before he whispered, “Too much?”

Knowing that I’d probably be having a panic attack right now if I wasn’t in such a lust induced trance didn’t matter one bit – I knew I didn’t want to stop.

“No.” I breathed, nearly a moan.

My response made him cup my breast, playing with it, feeling the weight of it in his hand, causing his breathing to come heavier against my cheek before the hand on my thigh finally began travelling upwards, finally reaching my core, causing my own breath to catch, grabbing for his arms that snaked around me to further steady myself.

“Do you wanna be fucked right here, on stage?” He whispered, nestling his head closer to mine, causing more of his hair to fall into my vision.

I nodded against him, my open mouth panting as his fingers circled my clit.

He breathed out another whisper, “You’re that fucking desperate for me?”

Gooseflesh began spreading over my skin from his teasing, demeaning questions.

“Yes.” I breathed, causing him to release a low, devilish laugh that vibrated against my back.

“Of course you are.”

To my disappointment, the fingers between my legs disappeared, only to immediately reappear beneath my mouth.

“I’d love to fuck this pretty, painted, little mouth of yours.” The warm and slick fingers followed the shape of my lower lip as he spoke, leaving wet skin behind – at no point actually touching the lip itself, as if to preserve the colour there.

Suddenly his hands fell away before he grabbed me by the hips again, pushing me off of him.

“Down on your knees.” He demanded as I struggled to stay upright without the solid body to lean against.

When I turned around he was already reaching for his belt, where his hard cock was pulling the already tight fabric awkwardly taut, his intoxicated expression confirming that he was every bit as desperate for this as I was.

I eagerly fell to my knees before him, watching in anticipation as he took his time unbuckling his belt.

“Now, we’re gonna test you a bit, love.”

I ripped my eyes away from his bulge as he spoke, in order to look up at him, instantly consumed with excitement from the promise of the mysterious trial to come.

“You’re gonna be good for me and tap my leg if I take it too far.”

He finished with his belt and unbuttoned the trousers, only leaving the zipper left to undo, but he stopped to lean forward, taking hold of my chin with a more sober expression, hair falling over his pleading eyes as he looked down at me, “I’m trusting you here, yeah?”

I swallowed, understanding the personal significance of his statement. So I tried my best to fight through the cloud of desire I was so hopelessly lost in to deliver my words with as much sincerity as I possibly could.

“I’ll tap, I promise...”

There was a punctuated sense of intimacy as we stared into each other's eyes, something infinitely deeper at play than carnal needs. While I’d managed to place my trust in his hands, expecting him to keep me safe as we explored, up until now I haven’t returned the favour. He was asking me to meet him halfway, allowing him to relax and not overextend himself as he looked after me, handing me his rarest commodity – trust, begging me not to break it.

“...You can trust me.” I whispered, to further clarify that I understood the gravity of his request.

An unreadable emotion flickered over his features before he let go of my chin and leaned back, undoing the zipper that had already started to slip from the pressure of his length pushing on it. It sprung free with a bounce, the head glistening from the precum collecting there, his trousers sliding down to reveal his art covered thighs.

I felt my mouth begin to water at the sight, overcome with an intense need to taste it right now, but as I leaned in his fingers laced into my hair and held me in place.

“Only use your tongue, love.” He breathed, and while keeping his fingers in my hair, his hand relaxed, allowing me to move freely again.

I instantly took advantage of my freedom, darting my tongue out to taste the precum, licking it off of him, relishing the taste as I watched the veins of his length grow more defined from my actions.

When I was satisfied with my work, having gotten most of the delectable liquid in my mouth, I moved to the base of his cock, looking up at his glazed over eyes barely visible though his unruly locks, the unwavering gaze locked on me as I let my tongue travel along his length eagerly. The sensation caused a ragged breath to leave him, along with his dick to tense and bob upwards, touching my lips on the way down, leaving an imprint of my mouth behind in the dark, contrasting colour of my lipstick.

As soon as my tongue had flicked off the tip, his fingers in my hair grabbed me again.

“Let’s see how much you can take.” His words came deep and rough, then he guided my open mouth over his head, pushing me further and further down his shaft until it threatened to cause my gag reflex to kick in, but he kept pushing me down on his cock until it hit the back of my throat. Right before I felt myself begin to gag, he released a sound so incredible I felt my pussy throb between my legs, then pulled me off of him.

“Not bad, love.” He breathed, sounding even more inebriated with lust than before. When my eyes managed to focus again, I took in the vision of his slick cock before me; a clear imprint of my lips around it, showcasing exactly how much I’d been able to fit in my mouth, which had been more than I’d expected.

I looked up at him with a proud smile, a quick smile flashed back at me before returning to his previous intoxicated state.

“Open up.” He murmured, before quickly pushing me back down on him as soon as my lips parted enough to let him in. I placed my hands on the warm and art covered skin of his thighs to steady myself as he guided me to suck him in long strokes. His hand fell away from me entirely, allowing me the ability to pleasure him on my own terms.

More ragged breaths and small moans started to slip from his lips, so I looked up to enjoy the sight of him as I worked his cock; his chest was heaving, head leaned against the wall with his eyes shut, his expression flickering to a pained desperation every so often.

“Fuck, you’re doing incredible things.” He breathed, nearly whimpered out, through his other delicious noises, right before his eyes snapped to meet mine, the familiar aggression so prominently on display there.

His fingers shoved their way back into my hair, to hold me firmly in place about halfway down his shaft. But then his other hand appeared in front of my eyes, suddenly pinching my nose shut. My eyes widened in surprise, causing his eyelids to grow heavy as he watched me realise what was going on.

An exhilarating rush of mixed emotions washed over me, intensified by the fact that I didn’t have a full lungs worth of air in me. I felt my nails dig into his thighs as I was entirely too quickly running out of air. Seconds passed and I could feel more precum spill into my mouth, making it obvious how much he was enjoying the sight of my struggle. But his eyes were watching me intensely, expecting – hoping I would put an end to this when I was ready.

Another beat passed and I felt myself grow increasingly desperate for air, so I did as I’d promised; I tapped his leg.

He instantly pulled me away from his cock, letting go of my nose in the same motion.

I slumped forward before him, inhaling sharply several times to catch my breath.

When I’d recovered enough to sit back up, my vision was swimming with his hand working his length as he waited for me, causing the lipstick left there to smudge and fade.

“You’re doing so good, love.” He said with adoration in his voice.

I felt a depraved smile grow on my lips before I parted them for him, indicating that I wanted more.

He huffed out a breath, a smile tugging at his own lips from my eagerness, before his hand slipped back into my hair to guide me into the same position as moments ago.

“Take a deep breath this time, love. Let’s see how long you hold it for me.” He said under his breath. As soon as I inhaled he placed his hand over my nose again, restricting my breathing completely.

Immediately I tasted more precum entering my mouth, followed by the sensation of my own juices running down my thigh. I was in heaven, completely and utterly blessed as I felt the steady pulse of his heartbeat through his cock on my lips, on my tongue, as he was getting off on withholding something so vital from me as air.

Without realising it, my eyes had fallen shut as I was enjoying the sensations and trying to focus on preserving my air supply so I could stay like this for longer.

“Look at me.” His voice came so low and desperate, when my eyes met his again they were glowing with hunger.

I felt his hand in my hair grip me tighter, pushing me further down his shaft with a shaky exhale, his cock tensing in my mouth as my tongue moved along it.

“You’re incredible.” He said so quietly it was barely audible before he gently started moving his hips against me, slowly fucking my mouth, instantly increasing the difficulty of my already challenging task.

Once again I felt my nails involuntarily dig into his thighs as I struggled, which seemed to only spur him on as a particularly delectable moan left him followed by several ragged breaths, his fingers venturing deeper into my hair, pushing me down on him further, almost as deep as when he was testing me. Suddenly I was fighting against my gag reflex as well as my need for air, and in my overwhelmed state I’d apparently shut my eyes again.

“Keep your fucking eyes on me.” He demanded, a lot louder than anything else we’ve said on the stage tonight, causing a small echo to travel throughout the vast space of the arena.

I could taste more precum as I pried my eyes back open, the man above me emitting a restrained, desperate energy, his dark eyes completely glazed over. My need for air was reaching a breaking point, I began pushing at his thighs out of reflex, not actually wanting to come up for air just yet, but he held me firmly in place – knowing that’s not what we agreed on. When I didn’t tap he pushed me down on him harder, this time pressing himself against the back of my throat with a moan, sending a shiver of lust throughout my body despite my obvious discomfort. But that was the last thing I got to enjoy before the moment had to come to an end, as it was time to tap.

The millisecond my hand hit his thigh he was already pulling out, knowing how far I’d pushed myself. After I’d collapsed against him, I clung to his leg as I recovered, coughing from the sensation of fullness still lingering in my throat where he’d pushed down on me.

This time he didn’t leave me enough time to recover though, his hand slipping right back into my hair, guiding my breathless face back into his view.

“You look perfect like this.” He whispered, working his soaking dick in long strokes over me, shaking the hair out of his eyes as he panted heavily. His words and the sight of him caused a tired smile to blossom on my lips, feeling high as a kite from arousal after having been played with in new, wonderful ways.

“All messy and breathless…” The grip on my hair tightened as his strokes came faster, “Do you have any idea how tempting it is to cum all over you right now? Have you walk to the dressing room fucking covered in it.” His expression shifted into a sadistic smile, sending more shivers throughout my whole body. He exhaled sharply, “Giving me that look doesn’t help, love. It’s only making me want to do it more.”

He’d made a similar statement at the afterparty, in the end he’d cum in my mouth instead. But I knew this time was different; I was already a mess, and the dressing rooms weren’t that far away. I couldn’t tell if I was negotiating with myself or not, but somehow the reward outweighed the risk massively, as I couldn’t imagine anything I wanted more in this moment either. Just the thought of him coming all over me on the stage he mere hours earlier performed in front of thousands of people, elicited a type of thrill that I wasn’t sure I’d experienced before. When I opened my mouth to speak I could feel my heart pounding between my legs, feeling dizzy from arousal and breathlessness.

“Please, just cover me.” I breathed – a flustered whisper, causing his expression to turn even more desperate, his breathing coming rough and quick as his gaze travelled along my body. I looked down to see clear liquid pooling on his tip, obviously close to the edge, confirmed by his strokes slowing down significantly. My eyes snapped back to him, his head rolled back for a moment before looking back down on me with extremely heavy eyelids. His strokes turning jerky as the warm liquid fired over me, the first shot landing on my lips, I instantly darted my tongue out to taste it before I felt it dripping down my chin, dripping into my lap, joined by the second shot that hit my throat, running down between my breasts as he groaned and sighed.

“Fuck.” He breathed in delight as the third shot covered my face, but thankfully missed my eyes.

He was barely done coming when his hand fell away from my hair.

“On all fours, now!” He demanded as he shoved me to face the empty seats. As soon as I fell forward in the right direction, he pushed into me with ease as my skirt had already hiked up on its own accord from kneeling. I felt myself instantly lose control of my body as he moved inside me; I moaned entirely too loud, trying to stop myself, knowing someone might hear me, but the sounds just kept coming as his fingers dug deep into the flesh of my hips, pounding me hard and fast, my whimpers and moans mingling with the slapping sounds that echoed all around us. His exhales and moans joined mine, as he suddenly fell forward on top of me, my arms giving out from the impact. I was delightfully crushed by his weight, heaving breaths and moans being exhaled next to my ear, with more warm liquid filling me up with each pump.

When he was done, the only sound that remained was our laboured breathing.

“Fucking hell, love…” He started, his voice rough and unsteady, “It’s been a while since I came twice in a row.”

Without giving either of us any time to recover, he pushed himself up, pulling out in the same motion, eliciting one last moan from me. I heard the clanging of his belt as he was already putting himself back together. I don’t know how he’d sobered up so quickly as I was completely out of it; freshly pounded, breathless, and dripping of cum.

“I’ve made a right mess of you,” He muttered, still sounding shaky and short of breath, but he was clearly in a rush, “let’s get you sorted.”

A hand appeared on my shoulder before I got rolled onto my back, feeling like a ragdoll. I looked up at his flushed face as he slipped his hands under my body, collecting me in his arms with ease before stalking off with me.

All I could do was cling to him as he swept me away from the stage, my mind entirely too blank – entirely too happy, to feel any anxiety about my state, or who might see me like this.

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#oli sykes #oli sykes fic #oli sykes smut #oli sykes fan fiction #bring me the horizon #smut #You got a taste now #Yay - posted today as planned ♥#It's LONG but I couldn't bring myself to split it #oli sykes x reader

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