#yamaguchi tadashi angst

[laurelled-by-lavender]

grey

pairing: yamaguchi tadashi x fem!reader content warnings: PINING!! so so much pining, childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst, insecure reader, reader has hair (colour, texture, etc is not mentioned) word count: approx. 10k author's note: reader likes girls too, but no labels are applied/specified

you know that you’re supposed to be studying. of course, you know. but how can anyone possibly expect you to do so, when he looks like that. so incredibly pretty, while doing something as simple as sitting and breathing. but there’s that familiar light coming through the large library windows. that golden glow which rests on his face, illuminating his skin. he looks like an angel. you could spend hours like this, admiring him. his every freckle, line, curve and dimple. every twitch of his lips and eyebrows. every flutter of his eyelashes. simply ethereal. 

you watch the way he chews at his pencil, though, not wanting to feel like a creep, staring at him much longer, you resort to the things splayed about on your table. your school books are littered everywhere, each of them opened to a different page, lines upon lines of bright pinks and yellows and blues highlighting the ink which rests on the pages. sitting not too far from said books, are the matching plastic tumbler cups he got you (pls i didnt know that thats what they were called until just now, i had to look it up) each with your respective favourite drinks. 

tadashi knows you left in a hurry to meet him today. now, he never mentions it or anything, but he knows you have a tendency to be late for things. he also knows how you love to have something to nibble on or to drink when studying. so, he prepares your favourite, just how you like it, right before he leaves, so that when he meets with you, you’ll be thanking him with that beautiful smile he loves to see. it makes him feel all giddy and warm inside, knowing that he’s the one to make you happy like that. he wants to continue to make you happy, for as long as he can.

though, he’ll never tell you that.

he lifts his gaze to look at you. you look so damn adorable, he thinks. you’re  wearing an over-sized pastel yellow sweater, with sleeves so long they go past your hands, along with a pair of mom jean shorts, cuffed at each thigh. you donned a pair of white shoes. well, maybe not so white anymore. the pair were quite old and have morphed into a colour of something along the lines of cream. he eyes the flowers on them, remembering the day you had both spent painting the little daisies all over them when you said you wanted to do something different. you couldn’t bother doing anything special with your hair, and you had skipped the makeup entirely, you were only studying after all. despite the little effort you put into your appearance today, he still thinks you look stunning.

he watches you reach over and grab your cup, sipping through the straw slowly, eyes still trailing on your notes. he can’t help but watch as your lips place themselves around the straw. he also can’t help the way he wishes he could kiss them. he watches you for a couple more seconds, but snaps himself out of it, wanting to be respectful of your friendship while he knows..

you like someone else.

after about half an hour, you let out a small, but exaggerated half-whine half-groan. 

“i hate this” you say with a small pout. “it’s so boring, and my brain’s no longer allowing information inside of it. ‘m done.” you push your chair back and slump your upper body over the table, arms stretched out over your papers and onto his side of the surface. he sees your face duck down in between your arms, then hears a slight thud, indicating that your forehead had hit the table lightly, as an attempt to tell him that you were over it, and there was no way he could possibly get you to do anymore work today.

with a smile and a tilt of his head, he raises himself up off his chair, walks around the table, and stands behind you. he pushes your chair back into it’s proper place, forcing you to sit upright. the last thing you expected him to do was lean down right next to your ear, and whisper,

“do you need help, yn?”

you swear your heart felt as though it had entered an olympic hurdles competition, ‘cause that bitch was running a mile a minute and jumping all around, somewhere deep in your chest. 

“uh, uhm- no?” you uttered out.

“is that so?” he replied. “cuz your notes are looking real blank if you ask me.”

you were quick to retaliate, pushing aside your love-struck thoughts and shooting back with,

“well, it’s a damn good thing i never asked you, isn’t it?” you turn your face slightly to your left, your faces now so close, you’d be kissing him if you moved so much as an inch. you sucked in a small gasp. you couldn’t help it. he was so close to you, you could smell his intoxicating cologne wafting through the air. it made your eyelids flutter to a close. you took in a slow breath. as you inhaled, he flooded your senses. his smell, his breath, his heartbeat. it felt as though you could feel it all. thrumming, coursing through your every nerve.

 it reminds you of that time. that one time, long, long ago when you gave a piece of yourself to him when you were both only little, enraptured by the idea of having your first kiss.

he’s the one who pulls away first, again, reminding himself that this isn’t real. that he’s imagining the chemistry. the pull that’s drawing you both closer together. she likes someone else. he reminds himself, time and time again. 

someone who isn’t you. a voice calls from afar in his head.

he shakes himself, mentally, disallowing those kinds of thoughts to permeate his brain. this isn’t about him, and it’s not because he’s not good enough. 

he remembers the things he spoke about with his therapist. the self-love and validating exercises, reminding him, telling him, that he’s good enough. it’s not about him, it’s about some other person, and that’s not something he can control, and that doesn’t mean he’s any less important, or any less loved. especially by you. 

at least he knows that he’ll always hold a place in your heart. he was, after all, your very first kiss.  

his insides beam as he recalls the memory. it was clumsy. of course it was. you were only about 8 years old, as was he. you were shaking, out of excitement and nervousness. it was an elementary sort of thing. you had sort of planned it. it was kind of a mutual understanding that he’d be your first kiss, and that you would be his. he can only imagine what it would feel like now. now that he’s known you and liked you and dreamt of kissing you again for so damn long. 

and yet, you liked someone else.

he’s accepted long ago, that he may never have that happily ever after that he’s longed for. the kind that he decided he wanted, with you, when you first watched ‘princess and the frog’ together as kids in your fluffy pillow fort. he remembers the way your wide eyes sparkled during the end scene, where tiana and naveen dance on the balcony in the twilight, the gleam of the moon reflecting off the water down below. he decided then and there, that he wanted that with you. 

only you. 

tadashi’s accepted long ago that he may never have that happily ever after that he’s dreamed of since he was a child.

at least, not with you.

you lay in bed that night, wide awake, thoughts racing. you wanted him to want you. you wanted him to want you back, so bad. it was laughable, really, how you felt like a 12 year old running around, hiding your silly little crush from your friends. 

you weren’t oblivious. at least, you weren’t that oblivious. you know better than to assume that what went down in the library was a normal friendship occurrence.

he pulled away first, you remind yourself.

you try not to fixate on that, hoping that if you don’t, you’ll forget it, and it’ll be as though he did actually like you. like his breath so close to your ear was intentionally done to make you fall. to pull you closer. as if every moment after it was real. for all you know, you had imagined the whole damn thing. 

your heart squeezed in your chest. is it always going to be this way? you had no idea whether or not he felt anything for you. or if he was attracted to anyone romantically at all. he seemed to avoid those kinds of questions. 

what you did know, though, was that he acted differently around you than he did other girls. it’s hard to pinpoint, but it’s there. maybe it’s his demeanor. maybe it’s the way he laughs. he always did seem to laugh harder when other girls were around. they would come around and tell jokes that you can only wish you had come up with so that you could have been the one to make him laugh like that. you instead of them. you dreaded the way they touched his arm afterwards, they way they would smile at him, chin tilted down, but eyes gazing up, into his, twinkling with something more. hoping for something more.

it made you sick to your stomach.

if anything, you couldn’t blame them. he was always so nice. so kind, and pretty and smart. you couldn’t rule out his physique either, or his style. he had this way about him, that made all the girls, even the guys (and literally everyone else) fall to their knees. he unknowingly demanded attention, attracting everything and everyone to him, even the light which illuminates the very room in which he resides. 

in many ways you wished that you were the only one to notice how bright he shone. how magnificent he was. 

how selfish of you.

but, another part of you remembers how he was treated as a child, and you’re happy that people are noticing him and loving him like he deserves. you could only wish that they had seen it before he had hit puberty and grew ten times taller and ten times hotter. you weren’t blind to the fact that the girls who used to make fun of him back when you were young are now the ones flocking to him, hoping to be the one to make a smile form on his beautiful lips.

weeks and months flew by, as did courses and end of year exams, and soon enough, it was summer. you always enjoyed the summer, because that’s when you spent most of your time with tadashi. your difference in academic programs didn’t affect you two now that you’ve plenty of time off to do whatever you wanted. amusement parks, shopping sprees, beach trips and sleepovers were only a few of the things you’d collectively planned to do these upcoming months.

you’d never admit it out loud, but you were glad that you were less likely to see people that you knew. 

during these humid and hot months, he always spends his time with you. day and night. it reassured you, that in these times, it was just you and him. you cherished it, knowing that the minute summer is done, the possibility of tadashi falling for someone is much more likely. you prepare yourself for it, mentally, though when the day does come, you’re not entirely sure you could bear it.

long ago, have you given up on any silly dreams where you’d be the one to end up with yams. 

you saw, time and time again, what kinds of girls he became enraptured by when they went to cling to his arm. girls who you believed were prettier than you. girls with perfect skin and hair and bodies which you thought were a thousand times more desirable than yours. still, you’d be glad to have him by your side. after all, he is your closest friend. 

things hadn’t really changed. your dynamic stayed the same. as flawless and as smooth as ever. snarky, teasing comments and effortless conversations and exchanges. 

you dreaded the day he would find someone who could do it better than you.

either way, you could enjoy the now. 

you were both at yamaguchi’s house, chilling in his backyard. you loved his house. it was familiar and comforting, and you adored every single aspect of it. it smelled like him, and the house was decorated with hanging plants and warm wooden tones. you basically grew up here with him. it was your second home. 

you were always welcome here. tadashi’s parents always loved you, and treated you like one of their own. they showered you with love and lots and lots of food whenever you came over. always asking for you to stay for dinner and then overnight. they insisted on your company. in truth, you knew that tadashi’s parents wanted you to end up together. of course you did. hell, your parents did too. neither of them ever really tried to hide it. 

your families were close. in fact, your parents were like best friends with each other, and it was all because of you two, way back when, during your elementary school years. 

as the story goes, one of your parents would come over to tadashi’s to come pick you up from your after school play-date, and then they would end up spending 2 hours talking and talking to yamaguchi’s parents, forgetting about you two entirely as you laughed and danced and played in the basement. over the years, your families kind of joined together. they enjoyed each other's company, and only found greater pleasure when they realized how well you two got along (and how adorable you were together) as we know now, they became best friends, which in turn only allowed your friendship with tadashi to grow even stronger. they made no secret of their hopes of you two becoming a pair. always hinting and nudging. purposefully having you two sit next to each other at the dinner table when you stayed to have supper with them, always insisting you share a room on vacations when your families took trips together, and you parents always speaking of how you’d never find a connection like you have with him, with anyone else. 

well, at least they got one part right. 

if there was one thing you knew, it was that you’ll never be able to have this with anyone else. you don’t think anyone could live up to him. 

you were sat on a cushioned hammock chair, legs crossed, reading a book. yamaguchi wasn’t very far from you, lying on the ground by the pool, stomach down, on a striped blue and green towel. his long legs pass the towel, and lay against the hot concrete deck. he’s resting his chin on his arms as they’re crossed, and he looks up at you, (at least, he tries to) squinting as the bright sun obstructs his vision slightly. he can make out your figure and position and can decipher in two seconds that you’re reading. he knows you love that chair. it’s your favourite spot to read. over the years, he’s observed you. he’s observed you enough to know your favourite reading positions and favourite spots, and that comfy hammock provided you the utmost comfort. he prides himself of that chair, knowing how happy it makes you. 

(it’s like a subtle flex for himself LMFAO.. like every time he sees you on it he’s like, yea that’s right, that chair’s in MY backyard, no one else’s. yn’s butt enjoys THIS spot the best, n it’s all cuz o�� me!)

“whatcha readin’?” he asks in a sing-song sort of voice

“a book.” you say flatly, not wanting to lose your place.

“what’s the title of the book?” he continues,

...

no reply.

“what kind of book is it?” 

more silence. you wait for another question, but it doesn’t come. after a few short seconds, just when you think he’s done inquiring...

“is it smut?”

at this you break out laughing, “’dashi, please ’m just tryna read! leave me alone!” you try to sound annoyed, but you can’t hide the smile as you speak, or the giggle after every other word.

he smiles at the reaction he got from you. 

using his hands to push himself up off the ground, he moves from his spot. he notes the way you eyed his back and arm muscles as he got up, but thinks nothing of it. he then wipes his hands on his shorts and takes a couple steps towards you. 

you pretend as though you don’t see him, as if you’re still reading your book. in reality, you’re just worried that he caught you blatantly staring.

he stands in front of you for a good 10 seconds. you finally look up at him, though, only to complain that he’s blocking then sun, when he snatches the book from your hands, turns and walks off quickly, reading out-loud from the pages you had open. you immediately remove yourself from your comfy chair and chase him as he speed-walks around the pool. he finally relents after 2 whole minutes, and he’s finally about to give you back the book... but instead, he simply holds it in front of you and pulls it back every time you try to reach for it. 

he had his fun like this for a while. 

suddenly, in the midst of his teasing, he notices something. he notices the colourful tabs which stick out slightly from the ends of the pages. blue, pink, yellow, green... a devilish smirk appears on his face as he turns to face you. you both stop in your tracks.

“what are the red tabs for?” he asks slyly.

your face feels hot and your stomach tightens. how did he know?! at a loss for words and, for once, a comeback, you decided to resume your chase at full force, grabbing the closest thing you can find to hit him with as you went. 

you settled on an orange pool noodle. 

this will do, you thought as you snatched it from it’s upright position against the pool fence.

-

from the kitchen window, his mother watches you chase her son with a smile on her face and a glass of iced tea. you two could not be more adorable. she thinks...

or oblivious.

after weeks and weeks of hot, humid weather, it seemed as though mother nature had had enough. 

the clouds had become her eyes, as she loomed and watched over your town. she cried and she cried, allowing rainwater to fall. it filled ponds and lakes, and turned streets into rivers.

simply put, it was pouring.

you stood at the window, watching as the harsh drops of rain hit the puddles out on the street, forming tiny waves that drifted away and faded until another took it’s place. the grey gloom from the weather outside felt like it was infiltrating your home, passing through the windows, reaching in. into your living room and into your chest, clutching your heart. you don’t know why it made you feel this way, but you didn’t like it. 

you shut the curtains in a swift motion, leaving the room significantly darker than it was a couple seconds ago, as most of the lights had been turned off. you turned to face tadashi, who was sitting cross-legged on the carpeted floor, playing solitaire. you didn’t have the heart to tell him he was playing it wrong. 

“too gloomy for you?” he asked without looking away from the playing cards.

you hummed in response and sat on the couch across from him, watching him play for a while. 

“wanna watch something?” you ask.

“what d’you feel like watching?” he questioned back, already knowing what to suggest to make you happy.

“i dunno, something comforting, maybe nostalgic, to take away from the gloomy weather?” you respond.

“how about fantastic mr. fox?” 

“that’s perfect.”

while he made the peach tea, you set up the movie and the blankets. you soon found yourself cuddled up against him, warm mugs in hand as your shoulders and head bopped around slightly to the beat of the opening song.

it was a great choice. it was bright, and yellow and the exact opposite of whatever the world looked like outside right now. 

you know that he was only doing this for you. tadashi knows how much it upsets you when it rains in such a way, so he did everything he could to make you feel all right, but for him, this weather was all too pleasant.

you never understood why yamaguchi tadashi loved rainy weather. sure, he could enjoy the sun and whatnot when it was out, but there was something about it that drew him to it. whenever it rained, he always seemed the most himself. it may have been your eyes tricking you, but every time you recall watching him as it poured, you could see a faint upturn to the sides of his mouth. as though it brought him a sense of calm. you simply didn’t get it. how could something so dreary and grey and gloomy bring such comfort to a person? most of all, how could it elicit these feelings in a person who reminded you so much of the sun? he was so bright. 

when you looked at him, thought of him, never once had you ever seen rain. nor the cold or cloudy skies. you thought only of light. how could it make him so at ease? all it did for you was upset you. you hated to see the world in such a way. for, you preferred it when everything shone yellow and gold. it made you feel warm and safe.

it was funny, in a way. you two were so alike. or at least it always seemed so. maybe underneath, if you were to peel back the blankets of memories, you’d find that you’re not so similar after all. but maybe that’s a good thing,

why, haven’t you ever heard that opposites attract?

the doorbell rings and pulls him out of his thoughts. you both already know who’s at the door. you place your mug on the coffee table and make your way to the front door. you open it as if you lived there and welcome your guest in with a bright smile. he gets up shortly after you, and upon arriving at the entrance door, he sees yachi.

hitoka yachi was one of his closest friends in high school. he actually thought she was really cute when he first met her, and when you started dating someone else, he figured he might do the same to try and get over his life-long crush on you.

it didn’t work.

he found out pretty quickly that he wasn’t attracted to her romantically, and she found out just as fast that she wasn’t to him either. they agreed to be good friends, and soon enough they started confiding in one another. 

he admitted his secret longing for you to her.

she admitted that she liked girls.

yachi gives you a big hug before bringing to your attention the food and board games she brought. you thank and bring the stuff she brought to the kitchen, and in the meantime, tadashi welcomes her as well. when she sees that you’re out of earshot, she immediatley asks, 

“so? anything?”

he turns to her with a sigh and a look that basically says, what are you even expecting? of course not.

she tilts her head and sighs.

she can’t wait until one of you grows the balls to ask the other out.

you shout out from the kitchen saying you’ll prepare something to eat for all of you before joining them for the rest of the movie. hitoka sees this as a perfect opportunity to talk about it. they walk over to the couch and get comfortable, sitting cross-legged across from each other. (optimal gossip/drama sharing position, if i do say so myself)

“honey, what you are so afraid of? you’re so perfect for each other. she may never make the first move, yknow. remember how she was with terushima? she couldn’t confess to him, let alone speak to him. the only reason that ever happened was because he went for it! yn’s had too many heartbreaks over silly, stupid people who didn’t show her enough love. she’ll always be unsure and need reassurance and you’re amazing at that! unless you make it clear to her that you want her, she’ll never try. she doesn’t want to get hurt again. neither of us want that for her, and you and i both know that if she were yours, you’d never let that happen.”

“but what if i do?”

“what are you talking about?” she asks in disbelief.

“what if i’m not enough for her? what if i end up hurting her because i can’t give her what she wants? i couldn’t bear it if we ruined what we have now.” it’s all for naught if she’s in love with you, anyways, he thinks.

he doesn’t add that part though.

tadashi has been... speculating. 

he knows you like someone, and due to some unfortunate experiences from the past, you tend to prefer dating people you’re already friends with. he figures that the most likely option would be yachi. it makes sense, he supposes. aside from him, you spend most of your free time with her. she’s pretty, she’s incredibly smart and funny, and you find great comfort in her. you both got along really well when he first introduced you two to each-other. in fact, he thought it was almost scary, how quickly you were able to befriend her. though, you were like that with everybody. after all, you were like that with him, too. tadashi figures that after how long you’ve known one another, if you were bound to catch feelings for him at some point, it would have happened by now. yachi still has that chance, he thinks. you’ve known her quite a while, but not long enough, perhaps, for you to eliminate her as a possibility for a romantic partner. he’s acutely aware of the way you smile at her. how you’re always cuddling when she’s over, how you absentmindedly play with the ends of her hair as you lay your head on her shoulder. it’s not too far fetched of a theory.

what a waste, he thinks. now neither of you can be happy. 

you and yachi deserve each other. maybe he deserves you too. but just because he’s deserving of something doesn’t mean he’ll get it. 

hitoka sighs, and tadashi’s pulled out of his thoughts. she grabs his face by the cheeks and places a kiss on his forehead. 

“you’re overthinking again, yams.” she whispers into his skin.

he stays quiet for a moment before responding,

“i know.”

you hear footsteps shuffle into the kitchen and turn your head to find hitoka leaning against the door frame. 

“hey babes, whatcha makin?” she asks with a grin.

“just a quick lil platter. lil bit a fruits n veggies ‘nd some of the chips ‘nd stuff you brought.”

you’re licking the juice dripping down your hand from the strawberries you’ve just cut when she states,

“you look upset.” 

there’s a pause. you turn, continuing the preparation of the food.

“it’s raining.” is all you respond. she notices the twitch in your brow. “no. no, no. there’s something else... it’s yams, isn’t it?” she retaliates. “why can’t you just ask him if he likes me? won’t that make things easier?” you whisper aggressively, wanting to let out your thoughts without letting tadashi hear you. “we’ve been over this yn. it wouldn’t be natural. if it ends up being the reason things go wrong i couldn’t live with myself. i would never want to do that to you or yamaguchi, and i don’t want to lose either of you. if something happens between you two it has to happen organically. asking through me isn’t organic.” you sigh, “i know, i know. ‘m sorry. that was very middle school of me.” she smiles gently, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. she moves to give you a hug, resting her forehead on your shoulder. she speaks softly, and it’s muffled, but you can still her her clearly enough as she says, “it’s okay, yn. i know it’s difficult but, if you think you’re up for it, just... try. okay? make a move. a small one. trust me.” a couple moments pass in silence. you take a breath before finally responding. “okay... thank you, ‘toka.”

the three of you reconvene in the living room and spend a few hours playing video games and watching movies until you’re bored out of your minds. lazing the day away was one of your favourite things to do with your best friends, especially on a day like this. after a very long while, hitoka decides that it’s time for her to leave. you give her the biggest, tightest hug and a kiss on the cheek. the action doesn’t go unnoticed by tadashi. he bids her farewell with a hug, and as he goes to pull away she whispers to him, 

“make a move, before it’s too late.”

 hitoka leaves with one final goodbye and a dramatic wave once she steps out into the wet weather. as she turns to back to head home, she wonders if tadashi will actually do what she told him to, or if you’ll both give up on something neither of you knew could even be. she hopes it’s not too late.

you’re back where you started, you on the couch, yams on the floor. the only difference now being that it’s way too late in the night. you sit in comfortable silence, the only noise being the gentle pitter patter of raindrops on the windowsill. after a couple moments, he stands to make himself comfortable near you. he lies his head on your crossed legs and gazes up at you. your fingers unconsciously make their way to his face, tracing all of his features, each delicate curve. he takes one of your hands. he plays with your fingers, traces your palm, interlocks your pinkies and rubs the inside of your wrist, as though he were trying to examine every square millimeter of your hand while never once taking his eyes off of yours. as though he were captivated, all consumed by you. 

“i love you, tadashi.”

“i love you too, yn.”

“no, my angel. i love you. i’m in love with you.” 

her frowns, before gently removing his hands from yours so that he can sit properly, face to face with you. you sit cross-legged across from each-other, just as he was with hitoka earlier that day. “what about yachi?” he asks. “what about her?” you respond. what did she have to do with this? had she already told him? “you- i mean.. don’t you like her?” you laugh at that, albeit nervously, “of course- of course i like her, she’s my best friend, dashi.”

he lets out a small sharp breath, as though he were frustrated. not at you, but more at himself for not being able to articulate and convey his thoughts properly. “no, yn, i mean... like.. love her, like her. as a partner. a girlfriend.” 

“no, my love that’s.. that’s you.” 

“me?” he repeats. you nod. 

“how could it be me?” 

“it’s always been you.”

he’s quiet for a while. he stares at you, eyebrows furrowed. you’re not exactly expecting a love confession back. you don’t even know how he feels about you beyond being his best friend. but at the same time, you didn't expect this. tadashi used to apologize a lot. he never really spoke his mind. he would bottle it up, more and more and more until he exploded. he always felt terrible afterwards. 

“no.”

in that second, you feel as though your heart stopped beating. but even then, his blatant rejection is not an explanation. he continues for you. “no. you’re not in love with me. you may think you are, but you’re not. you’ll get over it soon enough and- and.. i’ll- i don’t wanna hurt you. no.... no.” 

“dashi-” you start, but he’s interrupting you, “this can’t happen.” 

your vision is blurry, clouded by tears. lips quivering, you manage a quiet,

“why?” 

there are tears flowing down his cheeks now, too. he brings his hands up slowly, ever so gently, to cup your face. his hands are warm on your skin. he rests his forehead on yours. he breathes shakily. “i’m so sorry, angel. you’re the love of my life,” it was said softly but passionately, his voice cracking a little at the end, “but you have to go now.” you sob and shake your head. “don’t do this.” you say. he nods in protest, “i have to.” your tears fall quickly down your face. you can’t remember the last time you cried like this. you didn’t expect to lose him. not today. not like this. his palms are wet from your salty tears. “go.” he whispers you scrunch your eyes shut, praying the tears away. praying all of this away, hoping it’s just a bad dream. a nightmare, the worst, most realistic one you’ve ever had. but when you open your eyes, he’s still there. his lips are quivering, much like yours, and his cheeks are as pink and his eyes are. you hate to say that he’s still as beautiful as ever. he’s not looking at you anymore. he can’t stand to look at you, let alone in the eye. the warmth and comfort of his hands have left the sides of your face, and you feel empty. you stand slowly, making your way out of his house. the place you used to call your second home. it all comes crashing down on you, much like the rain outside. you’re colder than ever. with nothing else to lose, you walk. you walk to the only other person you can fully trust. you go to yachi’s.

you hesitate several times on your way there, but you figure if anyone knows how to help, it’s yachi. when you get to her apartment, it’s almost 1:30 in the morning. she opens the door a crack before realizing it’s you. it takes her a second more to notice the tears streaking your face and the way you sniffle before she’s ushering you inside with a hand on your back, and another in your hand. you’re slightly hunched, with your free hand over your heart.

“it hurts.” you sob.

“oh, baby. what happened?” she asks, but you she’s not expecting an answer yet. not until you’re comfortable and dry.

she brings you to her room and sits you down on her bed. she undresses you gently but quickly, and puts you in the clothes she keeps at her place for you in case you need to sleep over. they’re comfy and oversized. you feel yourself starting to warm up. all throughout, your eyes are stuck to the floor, unmoving. she then moves you under the covers and holds you close. your eyes burn from how much you’ve cried, and now that they’ve dried, they feel heavy. you fall asleep before you can even process it. 

you wake up to the smell of pancakes. you almost cry again when you remember what happened last night. your body screams at you as you get up and shuffle into the kitchen. hitoka turns from the stove when she hears your footsteps. she smiles a small smile and gives you a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “i’m making you your favourite. it looks like you need it.” you hum in response as she tells you to sit on the couch and put something on the tv. moments later, she’s placing two plates on the coffee table and taking her spot next to you. you’re filing through the shows without really paying attention to the names. you’re in a daze. hitoka’s soft voice brings you back to her. 

“do you wanna talk about it?” 

the truth is, yachi already knows everything. well, at least from tadashi’s point of view. after you fell asleep last night, yachi took it upon herself to call him. pacing back and forth in her little kitchen, she tried to calm yamaguchi’s breathing over the phone as he panics over the end of your friendship and his decision. his breaths are heavy and he hiccups every once in a while, sometimes even choking when trying to take in too much air, too fast. “shh, shhh, honey. it’s okay. go slow.” when his breathing regulates and he’s left exhaling shakily, he tells her how you confessed your feelings for him, only for him to reject all of it by pushing you away while telling you that it wouldn’t work and that he’d hurt you. when he explains to her how you tried to reason with him, she sighs, “i though we talked about this, yams. she would do anything for you. she loved you still. she tried for you even as you were actively trying to push her away.” 

“i told him that i was in love with him...” you start. 

she doesn’t respond. she waits, knowing that you’re not done. “he-,” you sigh, “he told me that... that i wasn’t truly in love with him, and that he’d hurt me.” tears flood your eyes as she hugs you closer. there’s a pause before you finish in a pained whisper. “he told me i was the love of his life.” she pulls back at that, hands on your shoulders. “he, what?” you sob with a hand over your mouth. 

tadashi didn’t tell her about this. she knew it of course, that he was in love with you. she’s known for ages. but he failed to inform her about his confession to you. finally, you both knew, and yet, things weren’t right. you should be together right now. holding each other and happy. “i’m so sorry, baby.” it’s whispered into your hair. she doesn't know what else to offer as consolation. she knows things will turn out all right, but as is known, yachi believes in the art of the organic. he'll figure it out soon enough, she decides. for now, the best she could do is comfort you. she wishes that things had gone differently. her heart breaks as you sob into her arms. 

it’s been a week. you feel a little better, but the hurt in your heart still lingers. the sting is more painful than you’d like it to be. you wish it could lessen quicker. yachi stands in front of the mirror in her bedroom, holding up different tops against her chest. 

you watch her from the bed, the netflix show playing on your laptop long forgotten as you help her make decisions for her outfit tonight. she eyes you from the mirror, “you sure you don’t wanna come?” you shake your head. “i don't know if i can handle a party right now. my poor aching heart needs a rest.” you exclaim sarcastically, resting the back of your hand against your forehead as you drop your head back, feigning distress. she chuckles before searching through her earrings to find the right pair. “maybe,” she says. “but maybe it’ll be good for you. i know you’re not one for rebounds or anything, but at the very least you can drink your sorrows away.” she finishes and turns back to you holding a different jewel against each ear, silently urging you to decide for her. “the silver ones.” you decide. she hums with a nod. you think about it. it doesn’t sound that great, but you’ve been cooped up in your room for days. maybe it’ll be nice to let loose a bit. she’s right, you think, booze might help. “okay, i’ll come.” she jumps excitedly with a clap of her hands, dragging you up and off the bed to her closet to help you pick something out for tonight.

the club is loud and cramped. hitoka holds your hand as she leads the way to the bar, seemingly knowing the layout of the place perfectly. you couldn’t blame her, you suppose. hinata throws a lot of parties. it wasn’t unlike him to rent out a place for the night. it’s not like it would be empty, either. shoyo also knows a lot of people.  when finally at the bar, you spot hinata, along with terushima and another guy you haven’t met before. shoyo greets you with a big smile and a hug. “yn! i didn’t know you were coming!” he exclaims, though it’s a little slurred. you nod at the other two, not missing the wink terushima throws at you. you and terushima didn’t necessarily end on a bad note. it’s been a long time anyways, but that was certainly unexpected of him. you can’t even remember the last time you spoke to him. yachi gets herself a drink, as well as one for you. she asks if it’s okay if she leaves you for a minute to make the tour around the club and say hi to people. after your confirmation, she leaves, though not after a final check in. yuji takes no time in swooping in after waving off his friend. “heard about your little break-up.” he says. you groan. “we weren’t even dating.” you clarify with a grumble. he hums and moves closer. “i can help.” he adds suggestively. “o- oh uhm, i don’t think-” “no, no. nothing like that,” he says. “but i’lll gladly be your drinking buddy if you’d let me? maybe even a dance partner?” you smile. you missed him. sure he was kinda sleazy, but he doesn’t mean any harm. he could be a really good friend sometimes. “thanks, yuji.” he grins toothily before jutting his chin in the direction of your cup. “bottoms up, girl.” you let out a laugh that sounds more like a scoff before downing the contents inside. 

yamaguchi really wasn’t planning on coming tonight. a party is probably the last thing he needs right now. he didn’t want to face yachi, or you. you were never really a party person. he thinks to himself. hopefully, you’re not there. he gets dressed quickly and makes his way out, hoping to find a way to forget about you tonight. except, when he makes his way into the house, he spots you immediately. on the dance floor. with terushima yuji. he tries to ignore it. but you look so happy. your hips are moving, hands in the air, so carefree. you look beautiful, as always. yuji spots him. tadashi watches as he makes his way even closer to you, grabbing your waist while keeping his eyes locked on yamaguchi. he’s challenging him. he’s daring him. daring him to make a move and do something about it. he doesn’t. instead, he turns and makes his way to the bar. i need a drink, he thinks. or five.

you spend hours dancing, taking turns with yachi, shoyo, and even bokuto. bokuto was lively and incredibly funny. you dare say you enjoyed dancing with him the most. although, terushima was a close second. soon enough, yuji asks to steal you back from bokuto. he grabs your hand and brings you closer before turning you around so that your back is to his chest. he puts his hands on your hips and dances in sync with your movements. yamaguchi watches from the indoor balcony that looks down upon the dancefloor. he watches as terushima grinds his hips sensually and rakes his fingers against your sides. tadashi downs his drink, before asking the closest girl next to him to dance. 

she agrees eagerly, thrilled that the mysteriously quiet freckled guy she’d been eyeing the entire night has noticed her. it doesn’t take long for you to spot him. he’s holding a girl’s hand, leading her onto the dancefloor. 

you didn’t even know he was here. 

and now you wish you did, because she’s gorgeous. tall and fit. her platinum blonde hair shines purple from the lights above. they fit well together, you think as you admire him for the first time tonight. his hair is tied up in a half-up half down ponytail. the hairstyle exposes the hidden highlights he has done. the colour matches her hair perfectly. he has a couple loose strands, but they don’t manage to hide his piercings. he wears a black cropped graphic tee. from the waist down, he wears all black. the shirt’s length (or lack thereof) shows off the fishnets he wears underneath his baggy ripped jeans. (yk like those punk yamaguchi drawings) he looks fucking incredible. it’s quite different to what he usually wears, but maybe that’s what makes it all the more alluring. you break out of your trance when you realize that he’s still here, dancing with someone else. you couldn’t fault him. you were dancing with someone else, too.

yuji feels you freeze up against him. he leans over your shoulder to look at your face and sees the tears building up. you saw them.

suddenly very gentle, he tucks away the hair from your face before whispering in your ear, “i’ll take you somewhere else.” you nod, sparing tadashi one last look before following terushima out of the bar.  

you find yourself in the backseat of teru’s car, though, not how one may think. you sit in silence, the only sound being the occasional sniffle from you. “if you wqant.. and only if you want.. i can help you. for real this time.” you look at him, with tears in your eyes, and pretty lips. “gonna help me forget about him?” you ask, voice quivering as you struggle to hold back a new wave of tears. “i promise, my angel.” you almost flinch at the petname. it sounding so unfamiliar, so wrong, on his lips. you don’t say anything. instead, you nod, shuffling closer to him. you fist the collar of his shirt. he puts his index finger under your chin, tilting your face upwards, ever so slightly. you look so pretty, he thinks. he leans in, and your finger tighten further into the fabric of his shirt. you’re hesitating. yuji knows this, so he continues slowly. you’re barely leaning in. you can’t remember the last time you kissed someone like this. you felt so vulnerable. your lips were close now. the reality of it all hits you now. if you moved so much as a couple inches you’d be kissing him. you get deja vu. it takes you back to that time in the library. he was so so close to you. it felt so intimate, and you wanted nothing more than to kiss him. slowly and deeply all at once. he was tadashi. that’s who you wanted. not this. not terushima, nor anyone else. 

that’s when he feels it. it’s less of a push but more of a pause. it did nothing, of course. it barely did anything. in fact, it would have been imperceptible had the situation been any different. you barely even acknowledged it yourself. he pulls back and lets out a breath, looking at you with worry in his brow. yours hands unleash their grip on his shirt and flatten against his chest. you looked to him in moderate confusion. “it’s okay,” he whispers. “you don’t have to force yourself to want this.” 

you knew it yourself. you didn’t want this. you wanted tadashi. you wanted him with you, in your arms. his lips on yours, your fingers interlocked with his. his warmth, and no one else's. it’s your turn to let out a breath, though, more out of despair than anything. you rest your head on his chest, in between where your hands lay. “i’m so sorry.” gentle hands find their way to your head and back, one stroking lightly along your spine, sending shivers down your back, and the other massaging your scalp. you stay like this for a while. the two of you sit in the realization of what happened, and what could’ve happened. it’s not awkward. you lift your head and take another breath. “thank you.” it’s said with a small smile, and he can see that there’s sadness lingering behind it. 

“he has to be the biggest idiot in the universe to give up someone like you.” he says, with a palm to your cheek. you smile with a scoff, “you gave me up, too, yuji.” you quip, though it’s playful. “i did. but you and i both know that we weren’t meant to be together. nor will we ever be. you’re supposed to be with tadashi.” he reasons, with a poke to your forehead. “i know,” you whisper. “i just wish he knew it too.”

soon enough, you’re walking back into the party with yuji on your arm. hitoka spots you almost immediately, as does tadashi. yachi rushes over to you, exclaiming how worried she was when she couldn’t find you. it doesn’t take long before you’re saying your goodbyes to the boys and walking back out the door you had just entered only a couple minutes ago. yamaguchi watches you leave. he almost had half the heart to go and chase you out the door, but is reminded of the girl on his arm when she plays with the bracelet on his wrist. the one you made him. 

his mood drops significantly fast.

he rips his arm away from her, not caring about being seen as rude. he narrows his eyes at something near the bar, or rather someone, and makes his way over there.

yuji is leant over the counter with a drink in his hand. tadashi takes his spot on the right of him, back against the bar, arms crossed. “something uh, happening between you n yn?” he asks, voice devoid of geniality. terushima only grins, slinking his eyes to the door you left in, then back to him. they make direct eye contact. there’s a dry smile on yuji’s face. it’s not friendly. “yeah,” terushima responds cooly, not missing the way yamaguchi’s shoulders and arms tighten in their hold from the corner of his eye. he takes a sip of his drink. “is she not available?” yuji asks smugly, challenging him. “available?!” tadashi repeats incredulously, and maybe a little too quickly, too, because when he takes in the raised eyebrow and smirk on terushima’s face, he realizes that he’s never wanted to slap someone so badly in his life. yuji smiles as he watches the boy walk away wordlessly. 

you couldn’t sleep. the bed was warm, the room was dark, and you were tired. and yet, you couldn’t sleep. your thoughts were so loud. “you sigh so noisily.” you hear from next to you. “oh. sorry, ‘toka.” she hums. the bed shakes and you hear shuffling noises. it all stops once she’s laying on her right side, facing you. you can barely see her, but you know she’s watching you with furrowed brows. “what happened with yuji while you two were gone?” she asks. you sense the worried quiver in her voice. you’re not one to have rebounds or meaningless hook-ups. especially not with your ex. she knows that. she wouldn’t really blame you though, with all that’s happening with tadashi. but, despite rationalizing the fact that you could have very well hooked-up with terushima, a very large part of her hopes that you hadn’t. it would crush yamaguchi if he found out, regardless of his rejection of you. she knows you’d come to regret it too. 

you take a deep breath. “tadashi was there. with a girl. yuji… well… he offered to go somewhere a little quieter,,” hitoka inhales sharply at that, but doesn’t say anything. she lets you continue, giving you the benefit of the doubt. “and.. well we went to his car and.. he then offered to- uhm.. help.” there’s dread and tension in the air. anticipation. and not the good kind. there’s a pause before you continue. “we were going ot kiss. but.. i couldn’t do it.” you laugh dryly. “he noticed my apprehension before i did. it was like my body knew,” yachi lets out her breath, relieved. “it felt so wrong, to want to kiss someone that wasn’t tadashi. and i’ve only kissed him once! when we were kids!” it’s her turn to laugh now, but more out of shock and respite. “im glad. if anything, let’s just hope it makes that stupid boy realize what he’s given up.” you hum in confusion at that. “did you not see the way he was looking at you when you re-entered the bar stuck to teru’s arm?! he looked murderous. sometimes i forget that that boy can feel anger. it looks terrifying on him.”

silence falls upon the two of you. you find yourself drifting off to sleep before you hear three very loud knocks. from yachi’s apartment. the two of you sit up at the noise, hearts beating fast. you both patter to the door, not before grabbing a bat on the way to the entrance door. hitoka prepares herself before opening the door, you not too far away. she open the door a crack, the light from outside her apartment illuminating her face. you see the way the fluorescent bulbs in the hall accentuate the expressions of her face. a frown, quickly morphed to confusion, the panic melting away in an instant. 

“where is she? please. i know she’s here.” you’d recognize his voice anywhere. it follows you wherever you go, in your mind and in your dreams, every single night. you make your way to the door. hitoka automatically moves aside, and you take her place in the doorway. there’s silence as you watch each other, as though it were the very first time and the millionth all at once.

“i’ll be back in a bit.” yachi announces, before grabbing her phone and her jacket, making her way out the door. the two of you watch her leave, the quiet in between you even more deafening that before. “come in.” you say. it’s extremely quiet, but he hears it anyway. making his way inside, he diffidently takes a seat on the couch, as though it were his first time here. he’s still in the clothes he wore at the party. you close the door and go to sit near him. you’re about to say something, though you’re not even sure what. you’re extremely thankful as he cuts you off-

“why were you with him?”

“he’s my friend?” you offer confusedly.

“but he’s your ex.” he knows it’s a silly argument. the dumbest, actually. he’s best friends with yachi, and they dated back in high school, too. in all honesty, he’s just upset. mind a jumbled mess of jealousy and hurt and anger and despair. you don’t offer anything to counter that, other than a knowing tilt of your head. you both know he was just talking to talk. after all, his friendship with yachi hasn’t changed one bit. not even after their break-up. you knew just as well as he did that it was a dumb assertion.

“you left with him.” he continues. 

“and then i came back.” you counteract. 

“yes, you did,” he scoffs lightly, “with him. on his arm.”

“and what’s it to you, huh? why do you care?” you ask, frustrated.

“you know exactly why i care,” he says with a clenched jaw. “i told you we couldn’t be together, but i never denied loving you.”

you laugh bitterly, with tears building up in your eyes, “fuck, you’re making this so difficult, ‘dashi.” 

you bring your hand up to your forehead, massaging it. there’s a pause. it feels like it lasts forever. you know it’s coming.

“did you kiss him?” 

you stare directly into his eyes, gaze never once wavering, “you should know by now, that my heart belongs to no one but you-”

“but did you kiss him?!” it’s rushed and frantic. his heart feels like it’s being clenched in his chest. his ribs closing in and squeezing, leaving no room to breathe or focus. he feels lightheaded, awaiting your answer. it’s painful and agonizing, not knowing what truly happened when you were gone and hurting, possibly in the arms of another. 

“i wanted to,” you whisper. his heart stings. “i was so sick of crying over you. i wanted to forget about you. to forget that you told me that i was the love of your life, only to find you in the arms of another mere days after the fact, and i was finally given the chance to do so,” his head drops to his hands, elbows resting on his knees. his hair falls in between his fingers. he pulls, feeling the bite at every root. his heart feels like it’s being pierced with a million scorching needles. in agony. 

“... but i couldn’t.” his head shoots back up. he watches you with glassy eyes and damp cheeks. “i wanted it to be you. i couldn’t fathom being with someone that wasn’t you.” you shuffle closer to him while holding back sobs, “why couldn’t you just let me love you?” he breathes shakily, “i didn’t want to hurt you.” 

“but you did, ‘dashi. you hurt me so bad.” 

he hates hearing it. it sounds so fucking harsh, his worst fear come true. he feels like he’s gonna throw up. “i’m sorry, angel. it was dumb and so stupid and i’ll never do it again because i can’t lose you. i thought i could do it. i thought i could be without you and bear it while you forgot about me to find someone else but i can’t do it. i want to be selfish. i want to be with you.” you’re close enough to rest your forehead on his. “i couldn’t forget about you even if i tried…” he brings his hands to your cheeks. his grip soft but firm, as though you were to slip from his grasp if he wasn’t careful. as though you would break. tadashi’s not letting that happen again. 

“you’re my everything, angel.” he whispers against your lips.

“and you’re mine.”

thunder strikes outside as the sound of raindrops begin to patter against the windowsill, just like that day. the day that almost broke the two of you, never to be the same again. 

he kisses you sweetly, a small smile on his lips.

maybe it’s because it was an excuse to care for you and be close to you. maybe it’s because he genuinely did find comfort in the rain. or maybe it brought back memories of the good ol’ days. 

or maybe, it’s a reminder of what he has. what he can lose. what he almost did lose. and how fucking lucky he is to have you. his tiana. his evangeline. 

he watches you from the living room entrance. his head it tipped back a little, a closed-lip grin on his face as the back of his head rests against the doorframe. you’re sitting on the couch, cuddled up in a blanket as you watch your favourite movie. the one you watched together as kids. princess and the frog. 

he pushes himself off the doorframe and makes his way to you, handing you a mug of your favourite herbal tea. you look up at him with a grateful beam, and he can only duck down to place a loving kiss against your forehead. 

yamaguchi takes his place on the couch next to you to watch the rest of the movie, but he doesn’t watch the movie. he just can’t take his eyes off of you. 

you get prettier everyday, he thinks, as you mouth the words of the movie, knowing it all by heart. 

he sighs contentedly. 

tadashi smiles as he realizes he finally has the happily ever after he’s dreamed of since he was a child. the one he knew he wanted when he first watched the ending scene of princess and the frog, where tiana and naveen dance on the balcony in the moonlight. 

he has his happily ever after. 

and he has it with you. 

only you.

[frinnie-frye]

2 is better than 1 ⋆｡°✩ haikyuu filipino smau

ep. 2

WOAH WHAT HAPPENED

prev . next

[realcube]

conniving hater! yamaguchi who goes out of his way to sabotage your relationship with tsukishima.

nobody would ever suspect him of it, though. no, not when he is the first person to like all of your couples posts together; not when he gushes about how envious he is of your perfect relationship. it makes tsukishima feel silly, he thought tadashi might be resentful towards him because he knew tadashi had a crush on you before he asked you out, but he was proved wrong. how could a sweet, mellow boy like yamaguchi ever hold a grudge?

he gives great advice too, sometimes you think he's the glue holding your relationship together.

"well, if i were you, i wouldn't post that picture of them, tsukki. it's not very flattering, they won't appreciate it.

"hm, it's so weird that he's not posting you on social media, it's almost like he's trying to hide you or something. i mean, you're amazing, (y/n), i'd show you off if you were mine. so maybe you should look into that. i know tsukishima's pin?"

"what? (y/n) tried to look through your phone, that's psychotic. tell them no!"

"he said no? oh, he's definitely hiding something, (y/n). didn't he forget your four month anniversary too? makes you think: who's he so distratced by?"

"wow, getting mad at you for not celebrating four months is so petty. who even does that? one year is impressive, even six months, but four? you're dating a diva, tsukki."

"demanding? you are the furtherest thing from demanding. i can't believe he called you that when you're asking for the bare minimum. maybe it's time for you to find someone better."

it wasn't long before your relationship with tsukishima ended in a burst of flames. it was a relief to finally be free of the drama but losing him was still so depressing. yamaguchi was there to comfort you through it, though. face against his chest, you desperately clutched the fabric of his shirt while you wept.

he gently stroked your back, idly running his fingers through your hair. "it's gonna be okay." he reassured as a placid whisper in your ear, "i'll always be here for you."

[samubytheocean]

And I’ll watch

You watch him forget you like you’d watch him breathe, because that’s young love in the real world. Someone falls out.

Just angst

The thing about heartbreak, it’s not like in the movies, the songs, or the books. No crying out in the rain at 3am, no the-other-girl in his phone, no unsent letters, nothing really. Young love, and how it ends is surprisingly more simple than you’d expect. Or even want. That’s what kills you.

Good people fall out of love. No one writes about that.

No one writes about how instinctively, you just know that you’re the one who loves more in the relationship. The gaps between the texts that keeps you waiting- with that nervous faint smile friends would quietly notice it’s anxiety. The dates where the excited words you’re rushing out just seems to be heard, not listen to. And you catch yourself making excuses for it, because maybe he’s just tired right? You’re just so glad to finally see him, for him to finally make time for you, so you just smile through the empty void seeping through your significant other’s face.

You’re not sure what is more painful- having known how radiantly gentle he is when he is in love, so how can you not tell how he is falling out of it, or having to push even that aside, because God knows you can’t address that now. Your gut tells you to just ignore the upcoming unavoidable conversation, push even your feelings aside. You know you can’t walk away. As much as you would have laughed at being in a position like this, the heart wants what it wants.

The heart wants what used to be yours.

There’s nothing left to do. And you’d give anything to have that last fierce argument, because you know he wouldn’t fight for anything now. Your boy, as brutal it is but somehow still at this moment your man, is falling out of love with you. And you can’t do anything but watch. Watch him not ask to switch places walking down the street. Listen to his familiar voice ask to leave the restaurant early.

And fucking hell, love is what makes you glad for that chance. That chance of being near him for just one more day. For being able to go to sleep with that empty I-love-you text, all too well knowing how can someone love without aching to know about your day?

Yet you’ll watch him fall out of love. Because that’s how young love ends. It’s a lot more quiet. It’s a lot more empty.

And that’s what kills you.

AKAASHI, OSAMU, IWAIZMUMI, KITA, DAICHI, YAMAGUCHI (I’m going to sob), SAKUSA

GETO, okay kill me but YUUJI

JEAN, LEVI

[zumicho]

OFF THE CHARTS !

introductions: serenity

© zumicho all rights reserved. do not repost, modify, steal, plagiarize, or translate my works on any platform.

an : yn doesn't watch musicals but listens to the soundtracks, in on the memes. zumicho canon is that stamped yn and off the charts yn would absolutely hate each others guts

and no I disagree with yams. dogs > cats

@gl6ss @causenessus @guitarstringed-scars @whoislesiless @gra-eae @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @yuminako @aliensstolemyheart @ilyless @phoenix-eclipses @noascats @pattys-got-cakes @cryptictheseus @chloiyoomi @chemiru @mylahrins @kuroppiii @hyenagoated @ayaveraa

[bluestarjay]

It's kind of shocking how Hinata is so commonly characterized as someone who is perfect at making friends and is a 100% extrovert-- which yes, he is, but I think people are forgetting how much anxiety he has and how much of a people pleaser he is. I'm rewatching Haikyuu rn and I'm on S1 E5, and the way Daichi came up to Hinata and his immediate response was "I'll block, I'll set, I'll do whatever you need me to!!" And the way he makes promises he can't keep because he wants people to like him is kind of sad. I doubt he had many friends growing up other than Izumi and Kouji, and was probably bullied for being loud, obnoxious, and a weirdo for playing volleyball with the girls or being so into volleyball. So now he makes promises he can't keep and tries to go above and beyond for the team because he doesn't want them to get rid of him or not take him seriously. Yes, he's good at making friends, but I doubt he knows how or why. He's clearly worried that people are only friends with him out of convenience and his jumping skills; that since they play together, they /have/ to be friends. He just wants to finally be of use to someone; for someone to take him seriously; someone who won't ignore him around other people bc they don't want to be seen with him (silly funny little hc of mine 🥰🥰) . But that's also why Karasuno is so great, because they really are a family. They love Hinata and are friends with him, and they like him because he's a good person, not because they have to be since they play together, or just because he's skilled and they want to take that from him. And maybe at first, Hinata didn't realize that, since after being ignored and bullied and mocked, he thought the only way someone would possibly want him around was because he could help them win. And since he's so short, of course, taller, older, buffer players would intimidate him because they could easily take advantage of the height difference, so all of his bathroom encounters are NOT helping his anxiety 😭😭😭 and the puking??? When hinata threw up on Tanaka?? Everybody is always so focused on Yamaguchi's anxiety that they don't look at or even realize Hinata's anxiety. LITERALLY, THE ENTIRETY OF EP5 IS ABOUT HINATA'S ANXIETY AND PEOPLE PLEASING BEHAVIOR,,, WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT IT???? THE KEY SCENE LIKE 20 MINUTES IN??? (For ref, Daichi, Suga, and Kageyama are talking about Hinatas behavior, and Daichi imagines a scene: He hands Hinata the club room keys, Hinata says he'll take it, Daichi says, "I never told you where to keep it, so I brought it", and Hinata bows repeatedly saying he's sorry (about 6 times)) THAT IS NOT NORMAL!!! And then he's so worried about not doing well because he feels like he needs to make up for everything (his height, his lack of skill, his lack of experience on a team, the incident with Kageyama, etc), AHH HE LITERALLY SAYS, "This isn't like junior high...because I can be replaced! I don't want that. I don't want to be replaced. " BUT NOBODY CARES?? NOT ONE PERSON IN THIS FANDOM (THAT I HAVE SEEN) TALKS ABOUT ANY OF THIS!!! All I ever see is how Hinata has tons of friends and is so popular and is a people magnet, but does anybody ever think that he's probably anxious because those friends might get bored of him and find new friends?? That since Kenma has known Kuroo a lot longer and already doesn't really like people, he might just decide to stop talking to him?? Or that Kageyama might get bored of Hinata and stop hanging out with him outside of volleyball?? Or that Daichi and/or Coach Ukai will one day realize that he isn't really that special, and anyone can jump or run fast, so he gets replaced??? Literally I bet his WORST FEAR is being replaced and forgotten.

[kavertistic]

I’m not the moon , I’m not even a star . ˖ 𓂃 ˚୨୧⋆｡

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 𝕿𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘 . — a tsukishima kei x reader fan-fiction .

 ּ  𖥔 ꒦꒷˚𖥨 𓂃 a summary 。

Tsukishima Kei, Volleyball player, One of Karasuno’s first-year students. Y/n Kageyama, Gifted Prodigy, One of Karasuno’s first-year students and is troubled when it comes to her own voice.

 ּ  𖥔 ꒦꒷˚𖥨 𓂃 contains topics/things such as ; bullying, strong language, slightly ooc, english is not my first language, the reader carrying a speech impediment, more will be added if needed 。

˚.  !! ✧ ꒦꒷˚𖥨 𓂃 series masterlist 。

chapter 1つ.

chapter 二.

[massivesimpfordilfs]

Tsukishima x omega!male reader

Fluff with a dash of that delicious angst we all torture ourselves for

----------------------------------------

Tsukishima was watchful. He always had been. He was quiet and observant. One classmate he’d had since entering university was a boy named (y/n). (y/n) had soft (h/c) hair and bright (e/c) eyes. He was one of the softest omegas that Tsukishima had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Tsukishima hadn’t known when he started following the boy, something about the way he smelled just drew the lanky blonde in. He would follow from a ways back as (y/n) walked to his next class or the cafeteria or to his dorm. His musky scent filling the air and keeping everyone else away from the omega. Tsukishima was confused, worried why he was so infatuated with (y/n). He went to get medical and psychological exams done after maybe a month or so. Everything was perfectly fine. The only thing that came back almost abnormal was his hormone production levels but the doctor explained that it could just be a result of his busy life. Then his rut came. He was alone in his dorm, his musky scent completely filling the dark room as he humped his pillow without merit. He growled, pupils dilated and head filled with (y/n). Everything about the boy just got Tsukishima off from the way he talked to how he would play with his hair or clothes. Tsukishima’s roommate Yamaguchi walked in with a groan.

“What’s it now?” He asked. He’d only seen a couple rut periods that were this intense for his dinosaur loving friend.

“My classmate.” Tsukishima panted, completely red in the face and hair sticking to his skin.

“The small omega one? Why don’t you just ask him out if he’s affecting you this much?” Yamaguchi laughed, sitting next to his friend and stroking the exposed thigh comfortingly. In their many years, he’d discovered that this usually helped Tsukishima calm down aside from actual sex.

“No way. I’ll probably scare him.” Tsukishima sighed, grabbing Yamaguchi by the arm and pulling him to cuddle. 

A week later, Yamaguchi was getting annoyed by how much Tsukishima would talk about (y/n) and ended up forcing him to ask him out. Tsukishima was hyping himself up during class to approach the omega when the lecture ended. He watched the small male cautiously, noticing how another classmate talked to him and tried to get really close to him. Tsukishima growled, startling the classmate sitting next to him. After class, he walked up to (y/n) and the other kid.

“(y/n).” He said, the two turning to him.

“Yes?” (y/n) asked, tilting his head.

“Can’t you see we’re in the middle of a conversation?” The other kid asked.

“Mika, please. It’s hardly a conversation.” (y/n) rolled his eyes. “Did you need something, Tsukishima?”

Tsukishima blushed aggressively, startled by the way his name slipped off (y/n)’s tongue.

“I was wondering if you wanted to grab coffee or lunch?” Tsukishima asked, clearing his throat.

“No way-” (y/n) cut Mika off.

“I would love to!” (y/n) smiled. “I’m free around one today if you’d like to do it then?”

“Absolutely. Where’s your next class? I’ll pick you up.” Tsukishima smiled back.

“It’s the room above the library.” (y/n) said.

“It’s a date.” Tsukishima grinned, walking off.

“Why would you agree? You know you’re supposed to be studying with me in the library.” Mika whined.

“No, I never said I would.” (y/n) shook his head, walking off and trying to escape Mika.

“He’s not even cute. He’s like a lanky dinosaur with glasses.” Mika complained, following (y/n).

“Shut up, it’s subjective.” He huffed, trying to brush Mika off.

“So you like him?” Mika asked, slinging an arm around (y/n)’s shoulders.

“N-no of course not! I’m a very independent omega!” He flushed, slipping away from Mika. “Just go to class!”

He walked into the library, knowing Mika wouldn’t follow.

After class, (y/n) was met with the blonde waiting at the door for him. He smiled, practically skipping over. They held hands and made their way to the campus cafe, getting to know each other on the way. Favorite colors, favorite movies, what they want to order, basic stuff. Neither of them noticed a stalking Mika.

At the cafe, (y/n) got up to use the restroom and was cornered in the hallway by Mika.

“Why are you with that smelly dog?” Mika asked, larger figure completely caging in (y/n).

“Because I like him. I have for years since I started here.” (y/n) said. “Can you please move?”

“You’re supposed to be with me! I’ve followed you, photographed you, stolen your clothes and hair since high school!” Mika shouted, slamming a hand on the wall next to (y/n). He flinched looking with wide eyes at Mika.

“You’ve…what?” He asked, fearful.

“I love you! You can’t do this to me!” Mike cried cupping (y/n)’s cheek harshly and kissing him deeply. (y/n) refused to kiss back, he tried pulling away but was flush against the wall. He let out a strained whine and Tsukishima’s head shot up promptly.

He got up, chair sliding back and walked towards where the sound had come from. He grew infuriated at what he saw. Mika was feeling up (y/n), aggressively shoving himself against the much smaller male. He growled and ripped Mika off by the neck, throwing him into the crowding group of people almost blocking the hallway.

“He’s mine! Don’t touch him!” Mika shouted, being held back by the buff woman running the cash register. He was flailing, being held in a chokehold.

“Are you alright?” Tsukishima knelt next to a slumped (y/n), hesitant to be too close but wanting nothing more than to hug the male and reassure him. Sure, he had done similar to Mika, but he’d never stolen clothes or hair or even been inside (y/n)’s dorm. He just wanted to protect the small omega.

“I-I’ll be ok. I think.” He said, burying his face against his legs cautiously and being sure to hide himself almost entirely. 

“Can I pick you up?” Tsukishima held his hand out gently. (y/n) just nodded, eyeing Tsukishima’s hand warily before taking it. He was pulled up and into the blonde’s arms, hiding in his shirt. The two walked out and the police showed up to arrest Mika shortly after. Tsukishima brought (y/n) back to his dorm and spent the rest of the day comforting him and letting him know he’d never be harmed again.

[letterex-fyofm]

Honestly, contrary to popular opinion, I don't mind rare pairs. And when I say I don't mind, I mean I can really get to enjoy them. For example, I can't tell you how many pairs with Yamaguchi I've read in the past years. Like, I can't count. Yamayachi? So cute and so wholesome. Yamayama? Kageyama having a crush on Tadashi is just such a cute idea, and there are several dope fics about them. Kuroyama (don't ask, I was myself surprised but there are a couple of good fics about them)? It can be so freaking funny. Osayama? Osamu literally told Yamaguchi he would make onigiri for him one day, and not only he did, but there was a panel of I think Yamaguchi helping him in the kitchen? THAT IS SO CUTE.

The same goes for Tsukki, to an extent. I don't usually engage in fanfiction or fanart that has any Tsukki pairs besides tskym, mostly because my head (which is hard af) can't see it most of the time. BUT, I can see it - in some way. Like, Tsukikage? It would be so funny that after all this time bickering and picking on each other (tho most of that was Tsukishima so) they'd like each other. Tsukihina? That is so funny and cute at the same time. Overall, most of my opinions on Tsukki rarepairs are "Can't see it but this is so funny actually, like I would read things about them." And the art is so cute!

However...nothing kills me more than when I read a fic where tskym is entirely platonic...but only for one part. Like?!?!?!?!

Every time I encounter things like Yamaguchi having unrequited love or Tsukki being the one who suffers through that breaks my heart, and I'm like "NOOOOOOOOOVDUOSDOFJOJFSFJ"

And this really goes for any fic, honestly. I usually am so sad whenever I read something with love triangles because even if the pair I like is endgame, I feel so sad for the other one who was left.

LIKE NOOOOO DON'T BREAK MY HEART LIKE THIS

This really shows the type of reader I am, where if everyone doesn't end up happy me neither. I just contemplate the meaning of life after.

[cvnt4him]

— ˗ˋ ୨ when does it end.୧ ˊ˗ —

fluff/comfort → ❤︎ smut → ** angst → ☹︎

random shit → 𖦹 suggestive → * request/asks → 🎗️

EVENT!! → ★ multi char → ☁︎ mikahs fav! → ♪

Kurasuno!!

event(s)↓

ೃ࿔ 𝑐𝑣𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔱𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯!

➪ ୨kageyama tobio୧

Kageyama w a crush→ ❤︎/𖦹

Cuddling w kageyama→ ❤︎/𖦹

➪ ୨shoyou hinata୧

no nut november.→ **/★

coming back from brazil.→ */𖦹

sho's first kiss?→ */𖦹/🎗️

➪ ୨ yamaguchi tadashi୧

yama who..→ */𖦹

ᯓ all rights reserved © @cvnt4him 2024-???. all fanfics belong to me, please do not copy, translate, repost, or rewrite what I have already written. Taking inspo is perfectly fine w appropriate credits!ᯓ

[genshin-obsessed]

Who Likes You! | Haikyuu

Disclaimer: I wrote this and posted it on another blog but I'm not there anymore. I want all my writing with me, so I reposted it here. It's all my works. If you've seen it before, it's me, don't worry, but you're welcome to check the name.

I got this idea back then, but I've been desperately wanting to write more of this! It was so super fun back then ;w;

Characters: Kentaro Kyotani, Tobio Kageyama, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Yu Nishinoya, and Kotaro Bokuto

Warnings: angst ahead and maybe some ooc-ness

♢ Kentaro Kyotani ♢

You’ve been with Kentaro for almost a year now and so you know a few of his… “friends”. Over time, you got to know Oikawa and he got to know you. You didn’t spend too much time with him, there were always excuses he had, classes, practice, whatever. It wasn’t very hard for him to start falling for you. You were just so amazing, how couldn’t he? You don’t know and people can say Oikawa had dropped hints (more like failed to hide his feelings) but you never pay attention. You’re always staring at Kentaro.

Kentaro didn’t know in the beginning, either. Oikawa was constantly surrounded by girls so what was the point of him liking you? You were taken and it… really didn’t seem like it. Until one day, he was going to the club room to ask Iwaizumi for something when he caught their conversation. 

“What did you just say, loserkawa?!” Iwaizumi’s voice came through the open door. Kentaro stopped and waited, kind of curiously.

“Don’t make me say it again- OH FINE DON’T HIT ME! I… I like (y/n), ok?” Kentaro’s eyes widened and his body went rigid. He could only stand outside and continue to listen. 

“How could you?! Kentaro is your… f-friend!”

“I know,” Oikawa said as he slumped against the wall, sliding down to the ground, “I didn’t do it on purpose! I couldn’t help it, ok? I didn’t think it would happen! We don’t choose who we fall in love with!”

“Didn’t you realize you were starting to catch feelings? You should’ve pushed them away.”

“I know.” He knew. Oikawa knew the best thing to do was to get away from you so these stupid feelings would die down, but he found it so difficult. You were just so kind and so magnetic. He was pitifully weak and here was the end result. He never imagined he would fall in love with someone else’s partner and if he could change it, he would.

Or would he? Being in love with you brought him joy. Sure, you may not be his, but his day was always brighter after he saw you. He always felt more confident and secure. When you attended his games, he always did better. His happiness was directly linked to yours… even if yours wasn’t linked to him. 

“I know they’re happy with Kyotani. I know he loves them and the last thing I wanna do is hurt him. Or (y/n). He’s… a better man with them. He’s… he’s really happy with them, isn’t he?” Oikawa lamented, looking at Iwaizumi. His friend could only lean against a nearby wall and sigh.

“Idiot.” Oikawa’s head fell and he stared at the ground between his legs. Tears lined his eyes at Iwaizumi’s words. He really was an idiot.

Kentaro was furious. He already had anger issues and the only thing he wanted to do was go in there and beat tf outta Oikawa. But he stopped because Oikawa was right. You didn’t like it when he fought people, so he worked on it. He worked on his aggression and anger and it was working right now. Instead of fighting, he just left. 

Ever since, Kentaro’s always been defensive around Oikawa. He doesn’t let you two stand too close and he doesn’t like it when you’re alone with him. Kentaro doesn’t want to be controlling and so he’ll reluctantly let you spend time with Oikawa… but you just never do? You prefer Kentaro over Oikawa anyway and that makes him so happy. Cuz no way he could compete with mister pretty boy.

♢ Tobio Kageyama ♢

You and Kageyama have been dating for a little over 4 months. You got to know his friends immediately and it didn’t take long for Hinata to start falling for you. You had no idea because you only had eyes for Kageyama. You never noticed the little things, even if your boyfriend did.

Kageyama didn’t know… but he had a feeling. There was the way that Hinata spoke to you- that dumb little tone. He didn’t use it with Yachi or Kiyoko, just you. The more Kageyama observed Hinata with you, the more uncomfortable he became. Hinata blushed a lot around you and often tried to be near you. So, Kageyama confronted him.

“Hey.” Kageyama called, approaching Hinata one day after practice. Hinata looked up at him and waved, assuming it was a greeting.

“Hey, what’s u-”

“Do you like (y/n)?”

“Wh-wha- NO!” However, the speed at which Hinata answered, the way his shoulders tensed, the redness of his cheeks, they all revealed the truth. Kageyama’s glare hardened as his body moved towards Hinata. The smaller one kept backing up until he hit the wall behind him.

The last thing Hinata wanted to do was talk about his feelings for you. That was his first defense- to ignore it. If he never admitted it was true, then it wasn’t true, right? It was just a dumb little crush and it would just go away overtime. Who would’ve guessed that what Hinata felt wasn’t just a “simple crush”? Who knew these “innocent” feelings would become so painfully controlling? Who knew that the longer you spent around him, the more you took? Before he knew it, he was all yours. But you didn’t want him. No, you didn’t want Hinata, you wanted Kageyama.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Fine!” Hinata’s gaze fell to the ground as the words started to pour out of his lips. His feelings finally reached a boiling point and after holding it in for so long, they just burst out. He so desperately wanted to stop himself, but he just couldn’t. He was finally admitting something he so frantically tried to avoid. “Say what you will, Kageyama… but I liked (y/n) first. But you… you had to swoop in and just take them right? Like you always do.”

“What the hell are you talking about-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Hinata pushed past Kageyama, walking towards the gym doors. He paused and looked back at the dark-haired boy with a glare of his own, “I won’t do anything. They want you... not me.”

Practice for the next like two weeks was REALLY weird. Not only was Kageyama refusing to set for Hinata, the orange-haired boy didn’t want Kageyama as a setter. No matter what Daichi, Sugawara, and Tanaka did, the two refused to budge. Kiyoko, Yachi, and Nishinoya tried too. Hell, even Tsukishima yelled at them! The only way they started working together was when coach Ukai threatened to kick them off the team. Even then, it really seemed like the two were dead set against working with each other. Honestly, Ukai was a little scared they would quit on their own. Eventually, the two did start working together again. They weren’t ever as friendly (not that they were before), but they did end up working it out.

Kageyama doesn’t like Hinata hanging around you, but after their talk, Hinata just backed off. Kageyama noticed how sad you got when Hinata avoided you, to which he confronted Hinata once more. Hinata explained that avoiding you was a defensive measure. The more time Hinata spent around you, the more his feelings grew and the last thing he wanted to do was get between you and your happiness. Kageyama argued that this would hurt you in the process, since you and Hinata were great friends, but Hinata didn’t back down and claimed he was going to do what he wanted to and Kageyama only needed to worry about himself and you.

♢ Tadashi Yamaguchi ♢

 You and Yamaguchi had been dating for around five months. He’d finally introduced you to his team… and they were shocked to say the least! Some even teased him for “holding out on” them. You were just the cutest and it didn’t take long for you to catch Nishinoya’s eyes. It was actually hard to tell at first, because he used Kiyoko as a cover… but in truth, he was in love with you, not her.

Yamaguchi doesn’t know because just like everyone else, he assumed Noya was head over heels for Kiyoko. Everyone thought so, even Kiyoko herself! There was one day where Yamaguchi had left a textbook in the club room, so he was heading back. Everyone was gone, except for Sugawara and Nishinoya. He was going to say hello… until he heard Suga.

“What do you plan on telling Tadashi then?” Sugawara asked, his tone of curiosity and concern. Hearing his name kind of freaked Yamaguchi out, so he pressed himself behind the door and listened patiently. 

“Nothing!” Nishinoya yelled, almost immediately. “N-No one’s… saying anything.”

“Then what are you going to do about this? I mean, you seriously had us all fooled.” Nishinoya let out a self-deprecating laugh as he fell onto the ground, leaning against the wall.

“If only I could fool myself…” They were both silent, which caused Yamaguchi to get a little impatient. He wanted to know what they were talking about, especially since it concerned him. Finally, after a couple of moments of silence, Nishinoya broke it. “They’re… beautiful.”

“What?” Sugawara asked, as he sat beside Nishinoya and gently patted his shoulder. His words were so quiet, they were barely heard in the silent room.

“(y/n)... is beautiful. Every time I see them my heart beats so fast. I often forget Kiyoko’s face when they’re around and sometimes… I can’t help but just want to wrap my arms around them.” At this point, Nishinoya’s voice was cracking as tears pooled in his eyes. They slowly dripped down to the floor below as his voice died down. Finally, it hit Yamaguchi. As if his body was on autopilot, he moved to stand in the doorway.

“You’re in love with (y/n)?” Both boys’ heads shot up and their eyes widened immediately.

“T-Tadashi…” Sugawara whispered as Nishinoya jumped to his feet.

“W-wait! Tadashi! I-I can explain!”

“Ok… explain.” Nishinoya fell silent, wondering what to do or say. The last thing he wanted was for Yamaguchi to find out. The silence took over the three once more, no matter how much Nishinoya looked for an excuse, he couldn’t find one. “I thought so.”

Oh boy. Yamaguchi started acting REALLY weird since. Nishinoya too. The libero’s normal light was gone and he had become reclusive. He barely talked at practice, barely gave any effort, and started to take days off. Yamaguchi also started skipping practice, making you force him. You tried asking Tsukishima what happened, but unfortunately the blond had no idea. Finally, you were able to get an answer from Sugawara. He told you Yamaguchi and Nishinoya had an argument and things were just really tense. Sugawara told everyone else the same thing, wanting to respect his friend’s wishes as far as he could. Eventually, both of them started attending practice regularly, but it was evident it was never resolved.

Yamaguchi was more upset than jealous. He couldn’t possibly compete with Nishinoya. All he had on Nishinoya was his height, nothing else. The libero was an amazing, talented player, he was outgoing and fun to spend time with. Yamaguchi often wondered if Noya was a better option for you and eventually confronted you about it. He left out the part where Nishinoya was in love with you and simply asked why you wouldn’t just find a better partner. Especially one of his teammates, since they were better. You assured him you wanted no one other than him. No matter what happened. Yamaguchi did end up having a conversation with Noya though, not wanting to leave unresolved issues. Thankfully, they were able to work it out. Unfortunately, things were never the same between them.

♢ Yu Nishinoya ♢

Everyone was so surprised that Nishinoya had a partner that wasn’t Kiyoko! Like his devotion to Kiyoko… then out of nowhere he’s dating someone?! Weird. Just bizarre. He LOVES talking about you, he never shuts up! You spent so much time around the team due to him, it was only a matter of time before Tanaka fell in love with you. You never noticed since you assumed he was in love with Kiyoko, much like everyone else.

Nishinoya had no idea. Tanaka used Kiyoko as a mask to hide his true feelings. But that’s all it was- a mask. Tanaka was always around you and Nishinoya, so it was even more surprising that your boyfriend didn’t know. You didn’t know either, thinking that everything Tanaka did was just because you were his friend. You had heard he had a crush on someone but like everyone else, you assumed it was Kiyoko. That is until Tsukishima decided to tease Tanaka about staring at you too much.

“You’re staring,” the blond commented as he approached Tanaka, who was sitting down. Tanaka immediately looked away with red cheeks, causing Tsukishima to look at the person he was staring at. “No way, were you staring at (y/n)? AND you’re blushing. Don’t tell me you like them.”

“Wh-what!? No way! I was staring at Kiyoko!” Tanaka defended, pouting and crossing his arms.

“Uh Kiyoko’s over there.” He deadpanned, pointing at the club manager who was on the other side of the gym. Tanaka clammed up as his eyes landed on Kiyoko, she was indeed too far away from you. He wanted to respond- to try and argue literally anything- but the words were caught in his throat. It took less than a second for Tsukishima to put two and two together. “Oh my god so you actually like (y/n)!” Unfortunately, Tsukishima had been louder than intended, causing all actions to cease in the gym.

“Wh-what?” Nishinoya asked, looking at the two. Tanaka’s eyes immediately flew to you, only to find you already staring back. An awkward silence fell over the gym and it was almost suffocating as everyone looked at Tanaka for a response. The tension was broken when Nishinoya’s laughter came through, making everyone look at him instead. “I mean can we blame him? I have a crush on them too! Just don’t say anything.” Tanaka stared at Nishinoya for a second, unsure of how to respond before nodding.

“Y-yeah!” Tanaka’s obnoxious laugh filled the gym as he nodded, “(y/n) is gorgeous but nothing compares to our goddess Kiyoko!” Tanaka was at the woman’s side within a second and took her hand. “Don’t worry! I only have eyes for you! Tsukishima was just trying to make you jealous- did it work? Did it work?!”

“No.” Kiyoko answered curtly, removing her hands from Tanaka’s. Small giggles rippled through the gym as everyone returned to what they were doing. The only three not laughing were Nishinoya, Tanaka, and Tsukishima.

**

Tanaka couldn’t wait for practice to be over, he wanted nothing more than to go home and bury himself under his sheets in bed. That was probably the most embarrassing experience of his life. Unfortunately, Tanaka had received a couple of extra tasks from Daichi for interrupting practice, meaning he was the last one to leave the gym. He was partially thankful since you and Nishinoya were gone. As he made his way to the club room, he felt the anxiety return. He just wanted to go home and NEVER come back. Luck was not on his side, however, because right as he opened the club room door, he saw two people he REALLY wanted to avoid.

Nishinoya and Tsukishima.

The libero had been in the middle of asking his taller friend a question, when both of them looked at Tanaka.

“Well, he’s right there. So why don’t you ask him?” Tsukishima huffed as he crossed his arms. Nishinoya wasted no time and turned to face his best friend.

“What Tsukishima said… is it true?” Tanaka had never heard Nishinoya’s voice like that before. It was low and held hostility, which was really rare for him. Tanaka never wanted to admit it, he refused to accept it, himself. The last person he wanted to be in love with was you. But people never got to choose in situations like this. Tanaka’s gaze fell to the ground and he nodded pathetically.

“Yes.” Nishinoya scoffed and looked away, unable to believe what he was hearing. Earlier, he wanted to believe it was nothing but a joke, that’s why he treated it like one. But as the seconds passed, too many questions started popping up. How many times had Tanaka just… been there to help you? How many times did Tanaka do things for you, claiming it was just for a friend? How many times was Tanaka caught staring at you or complimenting you? Just how much did Tanaka love you? And Nishinoya knew nothing about it.

Things were somewhat tense, since. During the practice sessions that you didn’t attend, the two were fine. They were both goofing off as if nothing ever happened. But for the sessions you were at, Noya was always partially defensive. He would always wonder if Tanaka’s thinking about you or looking at you. During your hangouts (whether it would be with the team or just the two), Tanaka kept his distance, while Noya was often holding on to you in some way. Overtime, you started to wonder whether that outburst in the gym was true or not. After seeing the way Tanaka and Noya acted, the truth was kind of obvious.

In the end, Tanaka and Noya were still good friends but it was never the same. They were too close for someone to tear them apart… but to create a rift, that was very possible.

♢ Kotaro Bokuto ♢

You had been dating Bokuto for about five months, which was surprising due to a couple of reasons. Bokuto was very devoted to volleyball, more than the average player, so how could he potentially have a stable relationship like that? Well, somehow he managed. You eventually started spending a lot of time with him and his best friend, Akaashi Keiji. All was well until Akaashi one day realized he no longer felt the same way a friend should feel toward another friend. It took him a minute, but he finally admitted it. He was in love with you.

Neither you nor Bokuto know because he was really good at masking his feelings. Of course there were slip ups here and there, but nothing to be concerned about. Akaashi found it harder and harder to contain his feelings. There were times where he just felt so uncomfortable, he would physically need to leave. He didn’t hate Bokuto though, how could he? Bokuto was the reason you smiled every single day and your happiness was Akaashi’s happiness. But all good things have to come to and end someday and today just happened to be one of them.

“Isn’t (y/n) so cute?” Bokuto giggled as he showed Akaashi his phone, where there was a picture of you. His dark-haired friend looked over, his eyes glancing over the beautiful picture. You looked so happy, so carefree, so radiant. He could feel the warmth in his chest, yet the happiness didn’t reach his eyes or lips. Akaashi only nodded as he returned to the book in front of him.

Bokuto gushed over you all the time, this was nothing new. Akaashi was used to it, always doing his best to ignore the twinge of jealousy that he often felt. Akaashi wasn’t one to express too much emotion and this was no exception. It’s what made it easy to hide his love for you. Akaashi’s eyes were always on you. Every time you three would spend time together, he would find himself looking at you often.

It didn’t take long before he’d started to pick up on your habits. Cute little things such as fiddling, whether you played with your hair or not, the little face you made when you were concentrating, the way your fingers tapped on the table, or when you would hold Bokuto’s arm… everything.

“(y/n)-chan’s so cute when they nibble their food like that!” Bokuto babbled on, showing a video of you nibbling on a rice ball. “They have such adorable habits~”

“Or the way they clap twice every single time you serve.” Akaashi mentioned, offhandedly, his eyes never leaving the book in front of him. Bokuto paused and looked at his friend.

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“(y/n) claps twice every time you’re up to serve. Not only that, but they also clap twice every time you spike a ball and wave at them. It’s this little habit they’ve developed. I think it’s like a good luck thing now.” Bokuto paused to think about it… he’d never really noticed. But… why did Akaashi know this? Akaashi’s usually on the court with him so when did he have time to look at you?

“That’s weird that you know that. Do you stare at (y/n) a lot or something? It’s cuz they’re so blindingly beautiful, right?” Bokuto’s eyes returned to the phone screen as he let out a little laugh; his words were originally a joke so he definitely didn’t expect Akaashi’s response.

“Yeah.” Bokuto looked at his friend once more, this time with shock written all over his face. Finally, the phone slipped from the volleyball player’s hand as he turned to his friend, ready to ask him something he really didn’t want the answer for.

“Dude… do-do you like (y/n) or something?” There was still a light-hearted tone and Bokuto was begging for Akaashi to just insult him or something, but he didn’t. Finally, Akaashi raised his head, his eyes meeting the ace’s. Bokuto tensed, unable to breathe. The look in Akaashi’s eyes was exactly the look he would have when looking at you. No, Akaashi didn’t just like you, he loved you. “No way… you love (y/n).”

Finally, Akaashi shut the book he was reading and sighed. He wanted to deny it, but he couldn’t. Akaashi didn’t have the energy to deny his immense love for you. He’d been denying it all this time now and he was tired. After standing up and gathering his things, Akaashi stopped at the door and spoke.

“Yeah, I’m in love with (y/n)... but that’s none of your business.” Then he left. Bokuto was left in silence as his best friend’s words rang in his ears over and over.

Things were kind of tense between you three. Bokuto didn’t completely shun Akaashi and the latter pretended as if nothing happened. Bokuto desperately wanted to talk to him about it, but Akaashi never let him. He claimed it wasn’t something they needed to talk about, they were fine before and they should be fine now. Things were left unresolved and you were still in the dark. You confronted both of them, separately, and neither gave you a proper response, claiming it was just a small disagreement.

You did end up finding out, eventually, and asked Akaashi about it. He told you not to worry about it and refused to talk about it afterward. Akaashi’s habits never changed; he wasn’t overbearing, he didn’t flirt, he didn’t treat you any differently. Overtime, both you and Bokuto got over it and things returned to normal. Days went on normally, even if Akaashi was suffering. At the end of the day, seeing the person he loved smiling always brought him some form of solace.

[laurelled-by-lavender]

okay, so i know i said this a good six months ago, but, i have a yamaguchi tadashi fic coming soon! i had the MOST terrible writer’s block and i had no idea how to advance in my story. but! my block has been.. well... unblocked, and i’ve written quite a bit in the last couple days. expect angst and fluff soon!!!

[rinniemybeloved]

[☆] - 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒

Which song matches each of them?

notes : I love the weeknd and I love karasuno first years. Two of my favs put together.

warnings : low key angsty in tadashi's

pairings : hinata x reader, kageayama x reader, tsukishima x reader, yamaguchi x reader

𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐘𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀

Earned It

As the song says, he thought you were perfect. Ever since his high school days, he knew that he wanted a future with you. He wanted you to be there for him, and he wanted to be there for you. He gets so sad when he has to leave you to play games in other countries. Even if he knew that you didn't need him doing unnecessary things for you, he still did. Why? Because you're always worth it.

"Cause girl you're perfect, you're always worth it."

𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀

In The Night

He couldn't see himself without you. It's started off as just a normal first relationship in college and he expected that it wouldn't last long. But, at some point, he started to feel that it was more than just a first relationship. You were just capable of so much. You made him feel so much more different that anyone else. You made him think about things more seriously. To him, you are riveting.

"I know she's capable of anything, it's riveting."

𝐊𝐄𝐈 𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀

Reminder

You had a silly little middle school crush on Tsukki and tried to quickly get over it. But, that was the problem. You couldn't get over him. You went through high school and even college, but he was always there. He's probably just gonna play with your feelings or something, but all of those thought disappear whenever he looks at you. Everytime you try to forget who he is, he's right there to remind you again.

"Every time you try to forget who I am, I'll be right there to remind you again."

𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐈

Die For You

The boy always got overlooked. It was very evident that most people preferred his best friend. And then you came into his life. You didn't come up to him to ask him what his friend's number was. You loved him for being himself. He often got insecure about himself, but you always took your time to reassure him that he's the only one for you. You understood him. You know what he thought about and you help him constantly.

"You know what I'm thinking, see it in your eyes."

Requests are open!

[1intrusivethoughts1]

Angels have green hair

Yamaguchi Tadashi x gn!reader

warnings: none really, angst, post time skip, pining (readers side), no use of Y/n, reader knew him in HS, 1k words, kinda short

Angelic. That was the first word that came to mind when you first saw Yamaguchi Tadashi. 

When you met him in elementary school, saw him again in high school, and now. Now as you stand, watching him afar, the flowers making him look as pretty as ever.

Work had you drained, wanting nothing more than to slip into the confines of your ever so comfy bed. Wanting to feel the cozy pajamas and blanket you had just recently bought. Your thoughts were rudely interrupted by a piece of paper blowing onto your foot. Scrunching your nose, you pick it up and skim the words. Oh? Botanical garden? Sounds…oddly comforting. 

You took the paper as a sign that you needed to go. Nodding your head at the thought as you walked towards the address. It seemed sketchy, but then again you assume everything is. The entrance is cozy and cute. With a decorated arch with a sign hanging. “Open from 9-10 every day! 5$ at the booth.”

You hummed, it wasn’t expensive. Digging through your bag as you walked toward the front, you pulled out five bucks. Handing the cash to the kind lady, you walked inside the gates.

It was breathtaking, seeing the variety of flowers and colors. The vibrant and dull contrast, paired with a fountain and fairy lights topped it off. Awe struck through you, taking a moment to just appreciate the amazing set up. You then walked along the grey stone path, eyes dancing from flower to flower. 

The wonderful scent of peony filled your nose as you turned a new corner. Bending down, you delicately ran your fingertips along the flower petal before leaning in to breathe in its scent. Flowers always had a comforting feeling, especially when enjoyed on a late afternoon. 

You stood up, dusting yourself to rid anything collected in your clothes. The continued walk through the peaceful garden was nice; bending down every now and then to inspect another flower that peaked your interest. You spotted another fountain up a head, deciding to walk closer. The adorable fountains were a wonderful touch. Walking closer, you noticed something behind the fountain. Or was it someone? To cure your curiosity, you cautiously walked around to peek at the obscure figure.

Then you saw him. Yamaguchi Tadashi. The one you had loved in high school; admittedly still having feelings even now. The one who you had always believed in, and looked up too. 

He still had a similar hairstyle, though it was trimmed a bit shorter. He was now much taller and muscular, though he still had that kind look on his face.

The setting made him just as angelic as you remembered, a warm feeling rushing through you as you set eyes on him again. 

“Tadashi…?” The words came out of your lips before you could stop them. His brows furrowed before turning to your direction. Once he saw you, his eyes lit up, a sense of familiarity rushing through them.

“[Name]?” He said, his voice soft and gentle. He took a few steps closer to you, almost as if he was in disbelief of seeing you here. Then again, it was a surprise to say the least, seeing him here out of all places and at the same time.

“God, it’s been ages! How’ve you been?” You smiled and walked a bit closer to him.

He sighed, a smile following after as he placed a hand behind his neck. He had traces of hard work, and tiredness around his eyes.

“I’ve been busy, an athletic trainer isn’t as easy as I imagined.” He joked, his tone cheery. The fairy lights strung across the trees brought out his hidden facial features he had developed from age. You didn’t stare for long.

“I can imagine. Must be nice to be finally settled!” You said with a grin, having heard from Tsukishima that Yamaguchi had landed the job he always wanted. Now keeping him from hopping around the country.

“Yup, me and Yuna have been settling great in the new house.” He said, a smile adorning his face as he mentioned his wife.

The familiarity you had with him for a moment left once he brought up the other girl.

“I’m happy for you two.” You said, though it was a lie. Feeling awful for how selfish you felt, though your heart was telling you otherwise. He was happy with her though, and that part did make you happy. 

Not much was said after that, apparently he had to run. His wife had asked him for groceries; Yamaguchi chuckling and blaming the weird food choices on pregnancy cravings. You laughed along, though you felt sick. 

He waved a goodbye and jogged off. You stood there, wanting nothing more than to lay down and cry. Love was so stupid, it made you feel stupid. Years and years, you had hoped he would want you. Love you like he did with her. 

But she was his, and you were not.

Walking back to your lonely apartment, you felt a certain sort of emptiness. The sickness in your stomach never going away, the urge to drop to your knees and cry never left. You would never be with him in the way you wanted, never. You had to accept that, even if it hurt. 

One thing you would always know, was your selfishness and jealousy.

Jealous of the woman who was blessed with a green haired angel in her life. 

[m4iya]

˙ . ꒷ 🍰 . 𖦹🫧˙— Mya's Bakery (Haikyuu Event!)

Hello, hello! Looks like you've stumbled across my little bakery! Are you gonna grab something before you go? Something for the ride home, or a gift for a friend? This is a little event that I'm holding! The way this works, is to choose one thing from each category, and it comes together as a sweet. 'Made to order' and 'What flavour' are limited! Once chosen they'll be out of stock!

✰ - What flavour?

Strawberry - Tetsurou Kuroo

Banana - Kenma Kozume

Blueberry - Tobio Kageyama

Orange - Shoyo Hinata

Grape - Tadashi Yamaguchi

Lemon - Kei Tsukishima

Coconut - Kotaro Bokuto

Blackberry - Keiji Akaashi

✰ - Made to order!

Pie - 'You're famous?'

Cupcake - a friend of a friend

Muffin - Club manager

Scone - Sat next to you on a long flight

Brownie - Took the wrong backpack

Madeline - 'The Moon is beautiful, isnt it?'

Doughnut - Online friend

Macarons - Sick at home

✰ - Any toppings?

Mini mochi - Text message Story

Cookie dough - Fluff

Brownie bites - Angst

✰ - Eat in or to go?

Eat in - more than 600 words

To go - less than 600 words

Note: custom orders may be made if I do not have the ingredients or toppings in stock for your preferred sweet! (If the topics aren't interesting, you might suggest something else!).

[asrinchine]

Back to the Old House by the Smiths

And you never knew

How much I really liked you

Because I never even told you

Oh, and I meant to.