#yall need to understand the vision here

[randowhump]

Y'all's are gonna have to hear me out on this BUT

Defiant whumpee getting nightmares about what'd happen if they "broke"

Defiant lab rat getting nightmares about actively helping whumper with their research

Defiant weapon getting nightmares about tearing someone to shreds cause whumper asked them to

Defiant non human getting nightmares about being a docile sweet creature cause whumper told them to

[hayakawapartner]

what if i wrote the most self indulgent most nasty smut fic ever. what then

[httpstes]

* ˚ ✦astro observations VII* ˚ ✦

Links to other astrovations: Astrology observations l, Astrology Observations ll, Astrology observations lll, Astrology observations IV, Astro Observations V Astrology observations VI

✩ Aquarius and pisces moon's can get annoyed with others for no reason, they might even beat themselves up over it. I’ve noticed with these individuals (unless strong 4H placements are involved or cancer) that they tend to not like people who are constantly in their vicinity 24/7, especially friends or lovers, these people rlly enjoy their personal space and alone time so they recharge their social battery as well as their tolerance for others.

✩ Aqua and Pisces moons may also feel that they can’t be their real selves around others, this authentic version of them may only truly be revealed to family members or a very close friend or lover. This could also add to the need to be alone as they could feel no one will ever understand them, their mind, mannerisms and behaviour. It’s like they want someone to pick apart their brain and understand who they are at their core but at the same time they’re afraid of letting others into their internal world.

✩ North Node in the 7th house seems like a difficult placement for the NN to be in. NN in the 1st house would symbolise finding your direction in life independently, therefore being encouraged to rely on oneself. North Node in the 7th house is quite the opposite, in the worst cases, I've seen it manifest in individuals who feel like they're incomplete without a romantic life partner and never properly heal, jumping from one person to the next in order to not be alone. Positively, this placement can indicate being encouraged to work with other people and to develop deep connections to others as with SN in the 1st, you may be more inclined to do things your way. NN in the 7th pushes you in the direction of compromise and balance within relationships.

✩ Chiron and Neptune in the 3rd house can indicate troubles with speaking (speech impediment, afraid of speaking in front of a group of people etc).

✩ Chiron and Neptune in the 3rd can also show early childhood bullying or being purposefully left out/made fun of by other kids your age. I've seen quite a few people with this placement deal with this, and years later they develop social anxiety and in worst cases agoraphobia :(

✩ Going back to the first point of Chiron/Neptune- they may have felt stupid or "slower" than other kids their age when it came to school further adding to the sense of unease and anxiety when it comes to school or dealing with their peers.

✩P.S I love you Chiron/Neptune in 3H individuals ❤️, yall are so strong and you are smarter than you realise 🙏

✩Venus/Sun/Moon/Mars in the 5th house start getting into/doing more creative hobbies. Idc if it's music, writing, poems, acting, knitting, painting, dancing, fashion hell even sculpting and becoming a DJ, JUST DO ITTT. Trust you are blessed with a mind that inclines to the creative side, use this please esp if the moon is in the 5th house it will heal your inner child. Mars here could show you feeling energised from creative pursuits and hobbies, a creative career could be well-suited. Even if you don't pursue a creative career, or (from what some of these people have told me 😭) don't consider yourself creative, do anything where you can add your own twist and opinion to it. Even if you don't think so or see it yourself, others will definitely be able to see the emotion/innovation/vision in whatever you create.

✩Having a lot of placements in the lower hemisphere of the chart especially the 4th house can indicate having an introverted personality.

✩ Furthermore, this can also indicate an individual who has a lot of layers, and it takes a while to get them out of their shell. This or they choose who they want to see the real them, no matter the years you've known them or the closeness.

✩Martian ruled 12H (Scorpio/Aries) or Mars in the 12H can indicate having wild ass dreams. Might involve a lot of fighting, and chasing, honestly it's giving war-zone. Your dreams could be very, very vivid too.

✩ Martian-ruled 12H or Mars in the 12H can also indicate repressing your anger a lot. This could stem from childhood trauma and with Taurus/Sag in the first (Whole signs), you could've felt bad expressing your anger, being taught it's not a good thing to show outward. With Taurus in the 1st this could show developing a put-together and calm demeanor since a young age and not wanting to break that peace wall you have built up. With Sag in the 1st this could show wanting to or being taught to come across as happy all the time or only being positive. Sometimes I've even noticed these individuals would rather come across as wild, carefree and happy than ever admit or show their more...plotting side 😈 (scorpio12H)..ig you could say LMAO.

✩Saturn in the 6H could show an individual needing a routine to keep them mentally in check and sane. Without one, they may feel like their whole life is crumbling right in front of them.

✩9H/3H placements can get on with anyoneee I swear. Even if they don't think so or if they are more introverted in nature, others just feel they give off this carefree, relaxed vibe making it easier for conversation and getting to know them. (Unless there's like Pluto on the Ascendant lol or sumn, this placement by itself tho does give off carefree knowledgeable energy).

✩Venus conj Saturn can show your boundaries constantly being tested and the universe sending you the same people in a different font, testing your ability to blindly love others until you get it straight lolll.

✩Saturn conj Venus can also show; dating/attracting older people, those who fuck with you romantically get screwed over eventually #karma, and or being serious about love like only wanting/pursuing relationships that are long-term.

✩Saturn conj Venus can also indicate meeting your "true love" later on in life, and by later I mean whatever point in time it is societally deemed 'oh that's very late to get married' blah blah.

✩These individuals could also just have good standards for what they want from their partner/future spouse (love that for you guys)

✩Back to NN in the 1st, stop serving other people and be of service to yourself!! It's okay to be selfish sometimes.

✩Uranus in the 1H, Aqua asc, yall weird 🤓. You already know that but I just felt the need to reiterate it, love all your little quirks and hyperfixations tho ❤️

✩Mars in the 11H be up to some crazy stuff in the bedroom (notice the Aquarian themes here)

✩Saturn overlaying the 4th house in synastry, 4th house person may feel like the Saturn individual is their 4lifer and can see them staying in their life long-term.

✩Not an observation just a personal opinion, I love people's charts where their planets sprinkle EVERYWHERE in the chart, it's so cool IMO and these people tend to be very balanced and have knowledge on all areas of life. I also don't know why but these charts are rare for me to find. Individuals who have planets in nine different houses is crazy I wanna see your chart.

PS- The astrovations are so back 🙏

ღAll my notes are personal observations and thoughts. I am not a professional astrologer and like to have a sense of whimsy in my life by looking at peoples charts, thankyou.

[stevie-petey]

episode four: dear billy

“That’s-old!” Nancy digs through her closet, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. You walk over to the poster and nod appreciatively at it. “Hey, Tom Cruise is pretty. I don’t blame you.” “Hey!” Steve waves his hands in the air, offended and completely overwhelmed. You shrug at him. “You’re the one who wants me and Max to die, so I get to call an actor hot.”

Summary: steve almost hits lucas with a lamp, you try to trick your boyfriend into a gloomy arrangement, steve and nancy have a Talk, robin suddenly becomes an academic weapon, and max threatens legal action, gets really into hallmark cards, and levitating. all in that order.

Rating: general, some swearing

Warnings: swearing, fem!reader, use of y/n, slight suicidal thoughts if u squint

Words: 11.7k

Before you swing in: hey gang !!! im back, wrote this severely hungover, and ive never been more excited to share a chapter with yall. dear billy is my favorite ep from season 4, the ending haunts me, so i hope i can haunt yall too <333 enjoy !

–

Max won’t wake up.

Your fingers grip harshly on her shoulders as you shake her. Her eyes remain vacant. There isn’t any life within them. “Max, wake up, please.”

Dustin grabs your arm, he’s never seen you so broken. “Y/N, you have to tell us what’s going on.”

“It’s–” your eyes sting with tears. The metallic taste of blood fills your mouth. You think you’ve bitten your tongue. “I-I can’t.”

You’ve forgotten how to speak, how to say anything other than Max’s name as you plead with her to come back to you. 

Steve’s hand finds your other arm. He’s trying to talk to you, telling you to steady your breathing. He tells you that you’re having a panic attack. He’s worried you’ll hurt Max or even yourself if you continue to thrash with blind fear. 

“Y/N, angel, I need you to listen to me, alright?” Steve’s breath hits your face, but you refuse to let go of Max. “We can’t help her if you’re panicking–” Suddenly, after an agonizing minute, Max breaks out of her trance. The sound of her sharp inhale echoes off the office walls. Immediately she collapses into your arms, she’s crying and hiccupping uneven breaths. 

“Y/N,” she shakes against you, you pull her even tighter into your chest. Her hands grab at your arms, your waist, anywhere they can reach. Almost as if she’s afraid you aren’t real. “Am I-am I awake?”

Your nose presses against her red hair, your arms tremble from how tightly you hold her. “You’re awake, this is real.” 

Dustin kneels next to you and Max. His tone is gentle, his eyes fill with concern. “Why wouldn’t any of this be real?”

Max pulls her face away from your body, her eyes look up at you. She’s looking for the answers you don’t have. Her eyes are still frightened, wild with fear. Her body stands on edge. Her spine stiff, her skin cold. Placing a soft hand over hers, you answer for her. “She had a vision.”

Steve’s breathing stutters, Dustin lets out a quiet curse. Max slowly starts to remove herself from you, although her hand never leaves yours. She stands up, albeit with some difficulty, and she tries to wipe away her tears. “I don’t… I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s okay,” you murmur to her, easing her distress. You feel as if you’re talking to an injured animal. “Let’s start with telling us what you saw. Can you do that?”

Max jerks her head, nodding. With Steve’s help, she’s able to take uncertain steps out of the office. She quietly instructs him on where to guide her. He’s careful with her, he takes his time helping her. Dustin walks next to you, his own arm extended towards you to help, but you gently decline him. 

At the end of the hallway, Max points her flashlight against the wall. “Here.”

“What was here?” Steve asks.

“A grandfather clock. It was ticking, over and over, but it,” her voice catches on fresh tears. “It isn’t here.”

Dustin looks at you, raising his eyebrows to silently ask you if you understand what Max is saying. You shake your head. There was nothing about a grandfather clock in the files you read, but it’s a detail that you can’t overlook. There has to be a reason she saw it.

Doors burst open behind you, disrupting the quiet of the night. You spin around in alarm, hand finding your knives, but you relax when you recognize the squeak of Robin’s sneakers and the click of Nancy’s heels. 

“What’s going on?” Nancy takes in the scene before her. You’re all standing against the wall, flashlights illuminating it. Fresh tears stain your face and Max’s. 

“Max, she…” Dustin sighs. He hates not having all the answers. There’s an unease that comes with not knowing. He’s spent his entire life trying to outrun it. “She saw something. A grandfather clock, I guess.”

“It was here. Right here,” Max insists, frustration in her voice.

Nancy tilts her head. “A grandfather clock?”

“It was so real.” 

You step closer to Max, your hand finding her shoulder once more. She doesn’t have to explain anything else. It’s clearly hurting her too much to do so. “Hey, you don’t have to give us all the details–”

“When I got closer, suddenly I just…” She doesn’t look at you, doesn’t listen. “I woke up.”

“It was like she was in a-a trance or something.” Dustin mumbles, before he remembers something. “It was exactly what Eddie said happened to Chrissy.”

Unease settles over the group. Eddie had been telling the truth. If there was any doubt remaining of his innocence, there’s none left now. Slowly, you watch as everyone pieces together what you and Max already know. One by one, the light in their eyes dims; Steve’s finds yours. 

The look in his eyes shatters you. The brown is coated with anguish, he’s already mourning you. He doesn’t like where this is going.

You look away. 

Max turns, her breathing quickens. Dried tears still mark her face. She looks at you, silently asking how much she should tell the others. You’re a part of this, too. It isn’t just her life in their hands. She’s giving you the choice to run, to pretend that everything is fine. To continue what you’ve been doing since senior year started. 

She wouldn’t blame you, and you know this. 

But you can’t run. Not this time. Not when Max needs you, not if somehow you can figure out a way to make sure that she survives. 

You nod at Max. 

She inhales, prepares for impact. “That’s not even the bad part.”

– 

Everyone crowds around Ms. Kelly’s office. No one dares to turn the light on. A part of you wonders if this is done consciously, if the light would make everything more real. 

“Fred and Chrissy, they both came to Ms. Kelly for help.” Max explains to Robin and Nancy, informing them of what you found. Nancy reads over the files, Robin’s eyes don’t leave your body. “Uh, they both were having headaches, bad headaches that just wouldn’t go away. And then…”

“The nightmares.” You continue, gaze not meeting anyone. You stare at the wall ahead of you. There isn’t any emotion in your voice. “Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep.”

Steve tries to get you to look at him. He remembers all the late night phone calls. He’d noticed you wince earlier in the trailer park, how you rubbed your temples and told him it was nothing. His mouth goes dry with every little detail he once dismissed. 

“And then they started seeing things,” Max doesn’t look at anyone either. Her voice shakes, she tries to hide the tears that don’t seem to go away. You grab her hand. It’s the only indication that you’re still with her, still listening. “Bad things, from their past.”

Dustin shifts uncomfortably. Last week he’d woken up to you screaming Billy’s name. He had ignored it. 

“These visions, they just kept getting worse and worse, until eventually…” Max pauses, the words refuse to come out. Her body freezes up, her stomach clenches. 

“Max,” you whisper, only it’s spoken as a promise. As a reassurance. 

She inhales again, squeezes your hand so tight that it cuts off the circulation, but you don’t let go of her. “Until eventually… everything ended.” 

Robin sees your hand in Max’s. She notes the way it’s held with an understanding, not with a condolence. She swallows. “Vecna’s curse.”

“Chrissy’s headaches started a week ago. Fred’s six days ago.” The air in the room builds into a dull roar. No one moves. Time stills. Max takes another shaky breath. Thunder has sounded, lightning is about to strike. “I’ve been having them for five days.”

Even though you knew what she was going to say, hearing the words come out of Max’s mouth chokes you. The panic from earlier returns. The frantic need to protect her, to pull her into your arms and never let go of her. 

“My headaches started two days ago,” your voice is barely above a whisper. It feels more like a confession of a sin, rather than a confession of weakness. “The night of Lucas’ game.”

The moment you’ve revealed this, Steve and Dustin simultaneously whip their heads up to look at you. Panic shadows their faces, the two of them rush towards you and nearly topple over the other to get to you. 

“No, something isn’t right.” Steve’s in denial. He doesn’t want to believe it. Neither do you. 

Dustin grabs your face, he pulls it down so he can get a better look at your eyes. “You could be dehydrated, or-or tired. Headaches are caused by a lot of things. You’re pale, you’re probably sick and this is all just conspiracy bullshit and–”

“Dustin,” you loosen his grip on you, trying your best to sound as gentle as you can. “You know it isn’t conspiracy bullshit.” His eyes wet with tears, for once in your life you don’t know how to protect him. You choke on your own tears again, breaking. “I-I’m fine, alright? We need to focus on Max right now, she’s the one who had the vision.”

“But you have all the symptoms, too!” Steve exclaims, too scared to look away from you. He can’t believe you’re saying this. He’s always known how selfless you are, but you’re in danger. You could die. Why don’t you care?

Max angrily wipes at her face. She hates that you’re already putting her ahead of yourself. She doesn’t deserve the kindness, the sacrifices you’re already making. “Look, we don’t know how much time we have to argue about this. All we know is that for Fred and Chrissy, they both died less than 24 hours after their first vision, and I just saw that goddamn clock.”

“Max,” you break away from your brother and try to reach for the girl, but she’s crying again and anger clouds her vision. “Whatever you’re thinking, I promise that–”

“I’m going to die tomorrow, Y/N!” She cries out, too tired and devastated for your reassurance. 

You tug at her jacket. “You’re not dying tomorrow.”

None of this is fair. Max is too young, she’s been through too much, she’s survived too much to be manipulated like this. To have her life taken away too easily. It should’ve been you. Vecna should’ve targeted you instead of Max. He should’ve shown you the vision, cursed you before her.

Anything to keep Max alive. 

She’s about to argue with you, she knows what you’re implying, but a creak down the hall alerts you that there’s something nearby. Everyone turns towards the source of the sound, the heightened energy in the room leaves you all on edge. 

“Stay here,” Steve instructs the group, already stalking towards the door to find where the sound came from. 

You roll your eyes at him, grabbing his arm before he can leave. He’s an idiot if he thinks you won’t follow after him, fight by his side. “We’re both going.” 

Steve narrows his eyes but doesn’t argue. Instead, he nods reluctantly and points towards your knives. Understanding, you flick your wrist and extend the blades. He nods, satisfied, before he grabs a lamp from the corner and holds it up with pride. The lamp clatters loudly, it’s a stupid weapon, but you suppose it’ll have to do.

Together, the two of you slowly exit the room and creep into the hallway. The school is terrifying at night, the empty halls eerie. You walk side by side while the others trail quietly behind. The sound of footsteps rush towards you, getting louder and louder with every step.

Steve looks at you, raising his lamp to his head, and you raise your knives. You plant your feet on the ground, you brace for whatever is about to round the corner. 

A figure emerges, screaming when it nearly runs into you and Steve. The person screeches, cowering, and your knives nearly come down upon a frightened Lucas. Your arm freezes, scream dying in your throat when you realize there isn’t any danger. “Jesus fuck, Sinclair!”

The boy holds his hands up in surrender. “It’s me!”

Steve clutches his chest, pressed against you after jumping into your arms when Lucas appeared. It hadn’t been his manliest moment, he’ll admit. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m sorry,” Lucas pants, and it’s then that you notice he’s drenched in sweat.

“I nearly stabbed you!” You exclaim, feeling horrendously guilty.

Steve sputters. “Even more importantly, I could’ve taken you out with this lamp!”

“Oh, sure. The lamp definitely would’ve helped.” You mutter sarcastically, but Steve is too busy still trying to steady his heartbeat to care.

Lucas apologizes again, hunched over his knees as he tries to catch his breath. “I was biking for eight miles.” He holds a finger up, winces in pain. “Give me a second. Shit.”

Everyone looks at each other, bewildered by Lucas’ sudden appearance. Your worry grows, he’d mentioned earlier how there was something bad happening, you’d heard Jason over the radio. Cautiously you step towards him. “Please tell me you biked eight miles for fun.”

Lucas shakes his head. “We’ve got a code red.”

Your heart drops. “It’s Jason, isn’t it?”

“How do you always do that?” He wheezes, somehow still surprised when you figure everything out first. It’s what you’ve always done. He’s never been able to hide anything from you. Seeing your pointed look to cut to the chase, Lucas turns to your brother. “Dustin, she’s right. I’ve been with Jason, Patrick, and Andy, and they’ve gone totally off the rails.”

He explains the basketball team’s plan to hunt Eddie down and make him pay for what they think he did to Chrissy. When Lucas mentions how Jason is looking for Dustin now because he’s in Hellfire, all you see is red. 

“I’ll kill him,” you hiss, fingers scratching over the engraving on your knife hilt. An old nickname resides there, a remnant from an old man who told you to use the weapon with love. 

“Y/N, while I’m flattered you’d kill for me, we kinda have bigger problems than Jason now.” Dustin says nervously, turning towards Max. The reminder stabs at your skin, reignites the bitterness and remorse.

Lucas looks between you and the girl, finally realizing how quiet everyone else has been. His head turns to you for some sort of explanation, it’s instinctual within him now to go to you for advice, solace and comfort. It’s what he’s grown up doing.

Except for the first time in Lucas’ life, your eyes don’t meet his.

Max stands apart from everyone. Her eyes don’t meet his, either.

Lucas had biked all this way to save his friends. He thought the biggest monster he’d have to face was Jason and the team. He didn’t think he’d be walking into the final hours of the two girls he loves more than anything. 

– 

Nancy offers you and Max her house to stay in. Neither of you can stomach the thought of going home, facing your mothers with the knowledge that they might lose their daughters soon. 

Dustin, Steve, and Robin refuse to leave your side. Lucas refuses to leave Max’s.

The seven of you stand awkwardly in the Wheeler’s kitchen as Nancy asks her mother permission to have you all spend the night. Her mothers greets you all kindly as she always does, albeit confused as to why half of Hawkins is spending the night at her house. “I mean, do we have the room, Nance?”

“We’ll all fit in the basement.” Nancy reassures. “We just figured it’s safer this way, sticking together.”

Mrs. Wheeler coos with sentiment and relaxes her shoulders. “Oh, alright. It’s scary, what’s happening out there right now. I understand.”

You give a weak smile to her. “We really appreciate your hospitality, Mrs. Wheeler.”

She smiles back at you and gently ushers everyone downstairs. As you descend the steps, you realize that she’s right. It’ll be a tight fit with everyone, the couch is barely large enough to comfortably sit three people. 

But the smell of the basement is familiar, earthy and safe. It’s been a long time since you’ve been down here. You used to spend countless nights in the basement ever since you were twelve. The boys always insisted you join their campaigns. You’d always drag Jonathan with you. There’s so much laughter within these walls, tears and the hardships of growing up. 

“Where are we all gonna fit?” Dustin sits down on the couch, eyeing the space around him.

Conversation breaks out as the sleeping arrangements are assigned. It’s nearly a heated debate, no one wants to be separated from you and Max. The girl stands off in the corner, barely listening, and you can’t help but do the same. As Dustin and Robin bicker over who gets to sleep on the couch, you use the distraction as an opportunity to slip away upstairs. 

The night air is cool against your cheeks as you sit on the Wheeler’s porch. The quiet is welcomed, your body aches with the need to have a moment to yourself. You don’t know how late it is, you wonder if your mother is asleep right now. Dustin had called her when you arrived at the Wheeler’s. He had given her the same excuse you’d given Mrs. Wheeler about wanting to stick together in a group. 

You wonder if your death will be what finally breaks your mother. The heartbreak of the divorce had weakened her, the death of her daughter would kill her. But Dustin will need his mother; he can’t grieve you alone.

With everything going on, all the revelations and despair, you haven’t had the time to properly come to terms with what’s happening; the weight of it sits deep within your chest.

The target on Max, on you. 

Steve finds you on the porch with your knees curled into your chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible. His heart tightens at the sight. Slowly, he sits down next to you. The warmth of his body simmers your skin, his presence quells the dull roar inside you. 

Your head falls against his shoulder. It’s quiet between you. All there seems to be these days between you and Steve is silence.

Fireflies flicker in the distance. You close your eyes, pretending they’re shooting stars, and wish for the end to be kind to you. 

“Remember the last time we were on the Wheeler’s porch together?” Steve whispers into the quiet of the night. You shake your head against him. He grabs your hand, plays with your fingers as he watches the fireflies. “Almost four years ago I found you here while I was looking for Nance. You’d been looking for Jonathan, but you tried lying about it.”

You manage a small laugh, remembering faintly the night he’s referring to. Hearing the laugh, Steve feels just a little bit stronger, more grounded. He continues. “You’ve never been a very good liar.”

“No,” you agree.

“That night… well, it was awful.” Faint bitterness leaks into Steve’s words. He remembers how hurt he’d been, finding Nancy wrapped around Jonathan. His girl underneath the creep’s arm. He remembers the anger that quickly followed, how heavily it consumed him. “Thought I’d been cheated on, and it was a pretty shitty feeling.”

Your finger skims over his knuckles. There’s a faint scar on them from his fight with Jonathan. You remember the anger from that night, too. The violence that followed it. You’re not sure why Steve’s is telling you all of this, though. 

“Nancy never did cheat on you, you know.” You softly remind him.

Steve chuckles, pulls you closer into his side. “I know that now. But that night, it just-it really fucking hurt, you know? Thought I’d never feel anything shittier, that my night couldn’t get any worse. But then… I saw your face.”

He swallows, shivers at the feeling of your fingers tracing his scars. “When I saw you standing there, all alone, the way your face fell when I told you about Jonathan,” Steve shakes his head. “The heartbreak on your face, that fact that I couldn’t do anything to protect you from it. That’s what hurt me the most.”

A heartbeat of silence, it almost deafens you, before he finally says, “And it’s why I won’t let anything else happen to you.” 

Your heart constricts at Steve’s promise. You know he means it, that he’ll die defending his oath, and that’s what terrifies you the most out of everything that’s happened tonight. 

Steve and Dustin will do whatever they can to keep you safe. They don’t want to lose you, they can’t lose you. They’ll burn themselves up if it means you’ll survive, but you don’t want them to. You don’t want any of this. 

All you want is for Max to survive. 

“Steve,” your head lifts up, he turns to look at you. Meeting his eyes, all you see within the brown is grief. It’s a funny thing, feeling someone’s grief for you within their gaze; it burns. “You have to protect Max.”

“Y/N–”

“No, you-you have to promise me, alright?” Your hand rests against Steve’s chest, he tries to cave into you but you won’t allow him any closer. Not like this, not when you need him to make a promise you know he can’t keep. 

Steve presses his head against yours and he breathes you in. He’s shaking against you. “I don’t…. I don’t know what you want from me.” He’d do anything for you. Whatever you ask of him, he’ll do it. 

“Promise me that if it–” your breath catches, your lips quiver with hesitancy. It isn’t fair, none of this is fucking fair. “Promise me that if it comes down to me or Max, you’ll choose her.”

Steve’s body retracts from yours as if he’s been stung. His heart is racing, a roar deafens his ears. He can’t breathe, his eyes can’t leave yours, he doesn’t know what to do. You’ve already given up. You’ve already decided to give your life in exchange for Max’s, and Steve doesn’t know what to do.

He’s never been able to say no to you. 

“Angel,” the cry is so soft, so heartbroken, that for a moment your resolve slips. You almost reach towards Steve, caress his cheek and apologize over and over again for making him do this. Your lips can feel his skin against them, but you don’t press against it; you don’t allow yourself to.

“Please,” You’re crying. The tears fall freely down your face, too tired to stop them. All day you’ve held them in, put up a front for your brother and Max. They can’t know how terrified you are. They need you, they can’t see you like this, but here, alone with Steve, you finally break. 

Seeing your tears, Steve finally wraps his arms around your body and just holds you. You cry for a long, long time. Everything comes out, then. The anger, always within you, that threatens to boil over, the heartbreak of losing Jonathan, the guilt of leaving Dustin behind soon, how the guilt intensifies when you think about letting Max die instead. 

You’ve been here before. 

“I’m choosing you, Y/N.” Steve whispers, lips pressed softly against your hair. Your body stiffens, he feels it, but he holds you tighter instead. “I’ll always choose you.”

“Steve…”

“Please don’t make me say no to you.” He pulls away, grabs your face and makes you look at him. You’re pale, tears wet your lovely face, and all Steve wants to do is fall asleep with you forever. He strokes the crest of your eyebrow, kisses your forehead. “Please don’t make me lose you.”

There’s more Steve wants to say. He wants to refuse you, he wants to scream, he wants to demand an explanation from you. There’s a mark on you that he would give anything to erase. How could you possibly think Steve could ever make a promise like that? To agree to let you die, as if your life isn’t worth everything to him.

The anger in Steve’s eyes startle you. His voice is frail, his body weak, but his eyes are alive with a deep fury as he looks at you. Pleads with you. The anger closes your throat, renders you speechless. 

You know that there’s nothing you can say that will change Steve’s mind. You’ve come to a stalemate. A tie between two ends of desperate halves. 

“I’m tired,” your voice cracks. It’s the closest you’ll come to admitting anything else. Another headache is forming, all you want to do is sleep in Steve’s arms. “Can we go to bed, please?”

I don’t want to fight anymore. 

Steve can see the weight of exhaustion that crushes you, and he sighs, nodding. “Yeah, angel. Whatever you want. I convinced Robin to give us the couch.”

I’ll do whatever you want, as long as I get to hold you in the end.

You nod back at him. The unspoken words settle between you, they linger in the shadows, but for tonight they’re put to rest. Lifting your arms up, you silently demand to be carried, and Steve can’t help but laugh softly. He stands up, bends down to scoop you up, and carries you back inside the Wheeler home. 

The basement couch is small, the two of you hardly fit, but neither of you mind. It’s an excuse to be as close as possible, a reason to tuck your chin into the crevice of Steve’s neck, absolving him to wrap his arms around you, as if he can shield you from the horrors that will come.

– 

Steve wakes up to whispering.

His eyes blearily open, his body twists in a sleepy haze. He’d been having a good dream. You were in it, you were laughing in his ear. It’d been a warm, spring day. Just the two of you. But he’s awake now, and when he looks down he finds you sound asleep on his chest. 

“Do you really think…?” Another whisper, and Steve squints against the dark to figure out who it is. Lucas and Dustin are snoring together on the ground. Max is in the armchair, her small frame wrapped around the cushioning. 

“I don’t know,” a different voice whispers, and this time Steve thinks it’s Robin. The dim lighting muddles away and he can see the outline of her nose. He thinks she’s talking to Nancy, she’s the only other person who could be awake right now. “But it’s Y/N, I-I’m worried, you know?”

Nancy nods. “She wouldn’t–” She pauses, sensing that someone is listening. Suddenly Steve can feel her eyes land on him. He’s been caught. 

Clearing her throat, Nancy excuses herself from Robin and walks towards the couch. She stops just out of Steve’s reach. He doesn’t move, his arms don’t leave your body. For a moment they stare at one another. Robin busies herself in the corner, leaving the two of them alone. 

Steve doesn’t remember the last time he was alone with Nancy. Her presence makes him uncomfortable, the history between them heavy. He still holds so much admiration and love for the girl, he always will, but he doesn’t know what to do with all the excess love now that they aren’t together. They never really got the chance to be friends, and it’s something Steve regrets every day.

He’s sure they would’ve been the best of friends. Maybe similar to you and Jonathan. 

The thought startles Steve, almost as much as the question that falls from Nancy’s pink lips. “How are you dealing with, you know…?” 

She motions softly towards you, still asleep. Your head is tucked against Steve’s neck and your breathing is steady. He rubs the length of your spine. He isn’t sure what to say to Nancy. How to answer her question in a way that won’t betray your trust. He knows what you’ve told him tonight was meant only for his ears.

But Steve is terrified of what you’ve revealed to him. 

“She wants us to focus on Max.” He finally whispers, the confession clings to his lips in deceit. “Not… not on her.”

Nancy nods, as if she was expecting Steve to say this. Her eyes harden slightly, though the crease between her brows soften with understanding. “Y/N already decided who we’ll save, hasn’t she?”

Steve swallows, he avoids her gaze. It’s all the confirmation Nancy needs. She nods again, she stares down at you and is struck by how young you look in the moonlight. She’s older than you by only a few months, and yet tonight Nancy feels as if there’s years that stretch between you. 

“She’ll try to sacrifice herself.” It isn’t a question, though Nancy still pauses as if to give Steve a moment to respond. They both know the answer. Anyone who has ever known you would know the answer. When Steve doesn’t say anything, she sighs. “I’m not surprised.”

You’ve always been so devoted to the ones you love. 

Nancy remembers the day she met you, how shy she’d been back then. There was a hardness within you, when you first moved to Hawkins, though Nancy never blamed you. Being twelve is difficult, and she saw the softness that was underneath the hard exterior that would one day resurface. 

When Mike was ten, a year after you entered his life, he broke his arm riding his bike. It’d been raining and his wheel caught on the curb. Nancy hadn’t been home at the time, spending the day at Barb’s. When she returned home to find you diligently wrapping his cast with plastic bags so that he could shower, Nancy was almost angry to see you taking such tender care of her brother. It was supposed to be her job. 

But the anger was gone the moment you smiled up at Nancy and asked if she’d like to help. You’d included her with such ease, made room for her where Nancy had thought there was none. 

For years this pattern followed. The boys adored you, you quickly became their favorite sibling out of the party. Often Nancy would find you in her basement, surrounded by the boys as you joined their campaigns or delivered them the cookies they always fought over. 

If one of them was sick, you’d spend hours by their side, spoon feeding them medicine. When Lucas chipped his front tooth, you were the first to react and call his parents to pick him up. When Will spilled water all over a drawing he’d spent weeks on, you helped him recreate the art piece. It’d taken you hours, but you never once complained. When Dustin lost his favorite model rocket, you biked two hours to find him a replacement. 

Over and over again you gave everything to everyone you’ve ever met. 

“She’s always been selfless. It’s what I admire the most about her.” Nancy says delicately. It’s the truth. For years she’s watched you, always at a distance. She’s never understood how you do it, how you can give so much of yourself to others without any cost. “But sometimes, I-I hate the selflessness as well.”

Because the cost has come; the cost will be your life for Max’s. 

Steve brushes a strand of hair from your face. Sometimes he hates how selfless you are, too. “I can’t lose her, Nance.”

The pained words litter papercuts into Nancy’s skin. She watches the way Steve’s fingers skim your face with gentle passivity. She’s never seen him so soft with anyone, not even when he was with her. The thought makes her stomach twist. 

Jonathan is soft with Nancy, he always has been. For the first time since he’s moved, she’s happy he’s in California. She doesn’t know what she’d do if he were here in Hawkins, marked by some creature in the Upside Down that wants to kill him. 

“I’m sorry,” Nancy breathes out. She can’t imagine what Steve’s going through, all the fear and guilt that must burden him. She wishes she could say something else, anything else, but what more can Nancy say? You could die soon. None of it is fair. 

Steve is quiet. He still doesn’t look at Nancy, he hardly even acknowledges her presence. She knows he doesn’t do this with malice. He’s overwhelmed, mourning someone who is still alive. Figuring he needs some space, Nancy tries to leave. “I’m sure you’re exhausted, I’m sorry Robin and I woke you up. Go back to sleep–

“I’d follow her to the end of the world if she asked me to.” Steve says, stroking your hair. “Even if that means fighting some asshole in the Upside Down, I will.”

The corners of Nancy’s mouth turn upwards, a small smile that she doesn’t bother to hide. “I’m sure we’ll figure it out, without going to the Upside Down. Stick to our own universe. I’m sure Y/N would agree with me.”

“Yeah,” Steve chuckles, careful not to disturb you. “I’m sure she would.”

You stir in your sleep. Although you don’t wake up, Steve hums softly. It’s a melodic tune, one Nancy has never heard before, but he does it without thinking. His body eases into the song, your body relaxes again. 

“There you go,” he whispers into your ear, tightening his arms around you as you drift back to sleep. It’s an intimate moment, too intimate to watch. Nancy takes it as her cue to leave. 

“Goodnight, Steve.”

He smiles up at her, rests his head against yours. “Goodnight, Nance.”

– 

Dustin forgets how different he and Steve are. 

While he thinks the guy is cool and all, and he can’t deny how happy he makes you, Dustin could really do without Steve’s obsessive worrying. He’s constantly stressed about something, regardless of the situation. He’s all heart, always carried away by his instincts. Dustin is the opposite, he’s logical and uses reasoning to figure things out. 

Which means that all morning Dustin has been reading the newspaper printings that Nancy found. He’s been quietly taking notes on Victor Creel ever since the sun came up. He knows that if he does all the research, read in between the lines, that he’ll be able to save you. Dustin refuses to let you or Max die; he’s always been able to crack a complex problem. 

Meanwhile, all Steve has done is pace the floor, mumbling to himself, for hours. 

It’s driving Dustin insane. 

“It’s pretty straightforward.” He says to Steve, who still isn’t able to understand where Victor Creel falls into all of this. “Everyone Vecna has cursed has died, except for this old Victor Creel dude Nancy found. He’s the only known survivor; if anyone knows how to beat this curse, it’s him.”

“Okay, I seriously don’t like talking about the whole ‘death’ part,” Steve rubs his eyes. He hates thinking about it, he hates how apathetic you were last night about sacrificing yourself. When you woke up this morning, you didn’t mention last night to him. Instead, you’d strayed towards Max and haven’t left her side since. “There being only one known survivor really doesn’t make me feel any better about Max and Y/N being cursed.”

He should be doing more. Steve knows he can do better, that he can find something if he just tries harder. Then, skimming the newspaper lines again, his eyebrows draw in. “Which is even assuming Victor was cursed. How can Vecna have even existed back in the ‘50s? It doesn’t make any sense.”

There’s too many unknowns. They drown Steve and pierce his skin. 

Dustin explains his theory about how El hadn’t really created the Upside Down but instead opened a gate to it. “I wouldn't be surprised if it predated the dinosaurs.” 

Steve scoffs and Lucas drops his own print of the newspaper back onto the couch. “But if there wasn’t a gate in the ‘50s, how did Vecna get through?”

“And how is he getting through now?” Steve adds, nodding at the teen.

“And why now?”

“And why then?” Steve’s arms drop to his side, he’s getting worked up again. Nothing adds up. “Just pops out in the ‘50s, kills one family, and then just disappears, only to return 30 years later and start killing random teens? Targeting my girlfriend?” 

Dustin drops his head into his hands. His own head hurts, Steve admittedly brought up some good points. Still, he also doesn’t like the idea of Vecna marking you. “She’s my sister, you know. I could be an only child soon.”

“And yet you’re annoyingly calm about all of this,” sitting down, Steve crosses his legs and sends a pointed look Dustin’s way. “A little humility now and then wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Next time my sister gets cursed by some demonic being, I’ll sob on my hands and knees and get absolutely nothing done like you are!” 

Lucas shoves Dustin’s shoulder and motions over towards the corner desk where you and Max sit. “Would you two shut up? They’re gonna hear you.”

Dustin and Steve turn to where Lucas points, the anger in them dies out. All morning you’ve been with Max at the desk. The girl furiously scribbles on paper while you sit next to her, silent. 

Max hasn’t said anything for hours, but she also hasn’t asked you to leave her alone. You think she wants you close to her just as much as you want her close to you. The presence of the other is calming, even if you can’t bring yourself to ask what Max is writing. You’re afraid that you already know. 

“Did they sleep?” Dustin mumbles, noticing the slouch in your posture and the bags underneath your eyes. 

Lucas winces. “I mean, would you?”

“Y/N slept for a little bit last night, but…” Steve looks down at his hands. He’d woken up to you having a nightmare. It’d taken him nearly five minutes to calm you down afterwards. “It wasn’t enough.”

All three boys stare at you and Max. They don’t know what to do, they’ve never had to handle a loss like this before. A silence falls over them, but it’s soon broken by the sound of Nancy’s heels running down the stairs as Robin follows. 

“Okay, so.” She beams, so does Robin, and for a moment Steve is foolish enough to have hope. “We have a plan.”

– 

As always, Nancy’s plan is brilliant. It’s also extremely illegal, but you’ve come to accept this about the girl. You flit through the fake transcripts she’s presented you. “These are impressive, they look so real.”

Robin taps your nose. “Thank Nancy’s newspaper minions.”

“You think they could make me one?” You ask, eying the high GPA Nancy and Robin allegedly have and their years of research expertise. “Might need it for grad school.”

“Why would you even need one? Nance and I are now rock-star psychology students at Notre Dame. We can just write you a killer recommendation letter as Ruth and Rose.”

You tilt your head at Nancy, a teasing smile on your face. “I take it you’re Ruth, huh?” She shrugs, smiling as well. Your eyes catch on the area of research on the transcripts, and you snort. “Schizophrenia? Y’all couldn’t come up with something less on the nose?”

“You were asleep and it was all we could think of.” Nancy rolls her eyes at you and clears her throat, finally continuing with her explanation. “Anyways, we called Pennhurst Asylum and told them we’d like to speak with Creel for a thesis we’re co-writing on paranoid schizophrenics–”

“And I’m sure they denied you.” Crossing your arms, you lean against the seat you share with Steve. When Robin tells you that they did, you snort. “I would’ve warned you had I known. No way would an asylum let two random undergrads speak with a patient. It violates, like, every patient privacy law there is.”

Nancy crosses her own arms and smirks at you. “True, but we were able to land a three o’clock with the director.”

“I don’t know why I ever doubt you.” You amend, and Nancy laughs. Robin finishes explaining the plan and how they’ll try to charm the director to let them see Creel. Your eyes wander towards Max, who still sits at the desk as she writes. Sighing, you nod at Nancy. “It’s a risky plan that relies heavily on luck, but I think it’s worth it if it means we can get rid of Max’s curse.”

“And yours,” Nancy reminds you gently. 

You don’t look at her, pretending not to have heard. An awkward silence falls upon the group. Steve looks to Dustin for help, but the kid can only shrug. Not wanting to burn through the small hope he’s feeling, Steve clears his throat. “Well, we’ve been doing our Victor Creel homework and, um. Have some questions of our own.”

“Lots of questions.” Lucas echoes. 

Nancy sighs. “So do we. Hopefully Victor has the answers.”

“Maybe I can help,” you offer, looking between Nancy and Robin. “I mean, I’m kinda the only one here who understands psychology. I doubt either of you even know what the DSM stands for.”

Robin sticks her tongue out at you. “Of course I know what it stands it, obviously it’s the diagnosed s’many m’people.” 

You throw a pen at the girl and she dodges, giggling. While the two of you bicker, Steve looks through the fake transcripts and quickly realizes something. “Wait a second, there’s only two in here. Where’s mine?”

Nancy squirms in her seat and avoids his eyes; Robin does the same. You tilt your head at Steve and narrow your own eyes. He recoils slightly, sensing that he’s upset you somehow. Before an argument can arise, Nancy claps her hands and stands up suddenly.

“Alright, I guess that’s settled, then.”

“No, no way is anything settled.” Steve stands up too, now following Nancy as she tries to flee upstairs. They’re gone within seconds, leaving you and Robin alone with the kids. 

Picking at your nails, you share a weary look with Robin. “Is it even worth following?”

“Probably not,” she knocks her shoulder against yours and motions for you to start walking up the basement steps. “But Steve will talk Nancy’s ears off if we don’t intervene.”

Knowing she’s right, you tell Dustin and the others to stay in the basement while you try to talk some sense into your boyfriend. The boys snicker at this, though Max is still writing in the corner. Following Robin upstairs, you can hear Steve’s whining long before you get to Nancy’s room.

“Nancy, you’re out of your mind if you think I’m babysitting, again.” 

You try really hard not to take offense to this. Steve is being exceptionally difficult this morning and you’re slightly pissed off that he seems so butthurt over Nancy not wanting him to tag along. You’re the one who is cursed and in danger. You need Steve right now. Not her.

Faintly, in the back of your mind you wonder if all this anger within you has something to do with Vecna. The jealous vitriol is foreign, the insecurity that follows it is disarming. You’ve been hurt before, you’ve felt anger before, but never like this.

“Nice to know that you view staying with your endangered girlfriend as babysitting, Steve.” You say as you walk through Nancy’s doorway, highly unamused. 

He spins around and nearly chokes when he sees you. “Okay, no. That’s not at all how I meant. I-I just mean–”

“Oh my God,” Robin bursts into the room and immediately rushes towards something on the wall. “You have a Tom Cruise poster!” She admires it for a moment before realizing that this is Nancy’s room, and her interest grows. With a smirk, she turns to the girl. “Wait, you have a Tom Cruise poster. 

“That’s-old!” Nancy digs through her closet, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

You walk over to the poster and nod appreciatively at it. “Hey, Tom Cruise is pretty. I don’t blame you.”

“Hey!” Steve waves his hands in the air, offended and completely overwhelmed.

You shrug at him. “You’re the one who wants me and Max to die, so I get to call an actor hot.”

“I never said that!” He shrieks, hands finding his hair as he tugs harshly at it. Everything is coming out wrong. Nothing he does is ever right. Isn’t that what his father always tells him? 

Panicked, Steve rushes towards you and grabs your hands. His eyes plead with you. “Angel, you gotta believe me, alright? I-I just don’t want to stand around while you’re in danger. I have to do something, and-and maybe I can be helpful with this asylum director dude, right?”

“Steve…” But he doesn’t hear you. 

“I don’t know, I could turn my-my charm on,” he rambles on, pulling you close and closer as he talks. “Just, please don’t think I want to leave you. God, I don’t. But I’m going crazy without answers and I–”

“Honey,” even though Nancy and Robin are watching, you grab the back of Steve’s neck and pull his head down into your neck. Your other hand wraps around his body, hugging him as tightly as you can. He’s spiraling, overthinking everything. “Breathe with me. Can you do that?”

He nods weakly, nose pressed to your skin. In and out he breathes with you. With every breath he exhales, your anger towards him dims. Steve had only been trying to help. That’s all he’s ever wanted to do for you; help you. 

“Now,” you gently pull away after his breathing has steadied. “While you’re charming, I doubt your charm will be what Nancy and Robin need.”

“Ouch,” he quietly says, a hint of laughter in his voice. 

Nancy tries to ease any remaining tension. “She’s right, Steve. I did a little digging last night, and it turns out this Dr. Hatch is a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and a Harvard visiting scholar… If anything, we could use Y/N’s charm more.”

“Normally I’d love to win someone like Dr. Hatch over.” You admit, biting your lip. The man sounds incredible. You’d kill to meet him, to actually speak to someone so distinguished in the psychology field. There’s so many questions you have, hundreds of journals and published papers you’d love to ask him about. 

Then you remember Max’s messy handwriting and the exhaustion in her eyes. The tear marks on her face, how she hadn’t wanted you to leave her side all morning. You can’t possibly leave her right now.

“But I have to stay with Max.” 

Robin, Steve, and Nancy all look at one another. Their expressions are similar, yet unreadable. They’re in some unspoken agreement that you aren’t a part of. Your skin warms with discomfort. Without meaning to, you look towards Steve and silently beg him to stay with you. 

Everything is weird and scary and you’ve been marked by some goddamn monster from the Upside Down who wants you and Max to die. Every bone inside you leaks cortisol and your body drips acid terror. 

Yet the only thing you want right now is for Steve to be here, next to you, holding your hand through it all. 

“If you’re staying, I’m staying.” He finally says, promising you. 

You release the breath you’d been holding. He exhales with you and your hand finds his. Lacing your fingers together, the pounding in your head quiets. 

“Not to ruin this lovely moment, but there’s a tiny ballerina in here.” Robin opens a jewelry box she found and it begins to play soft music. 

Nancy glares at her while you laugh. Steve rolls his eyes at his friend. “While I’m all for staying here, how are we going to turn ballerina girl over here into an academic scholar?”

“I might be able to give a brief overview of psychology to y’all?” You offer, but even you know that there wouldn’t be enough time. 

“Or, we could do this.” Nancy pulls a frilly, pink dress from her closet. It’s covered in ruffles and she holds it up, pointing towards Robin. Her eyebrows are raised in amusement, she barely hides her pleased snicker.

Robin stares at the dress, utterly speechless. “Oh, please tell me you’re joking.”

“It’s very… pink?” 

“Shut up, Y/N.”

“At least I tried.”

– 

After Nancy and Robin leave for Pennhurst, you find yourself pretending to read a comic while Lucas, Steve, and Dustin stare at you. They sit across from you on the basement couch while Max remains at the desk. 

You try to ignore them, but their beady little eyes make your skin crawl. When they aren’t staring at you, they’re staring at Max. You feel their eyes drift from you to her, over and over again. 

“Would you guys stop it?” You finally snap, slamming your comic down onto the coffee table.

The boys jump, all grabbing various items to try and appear nonchalant. Lucas holds a newspaper up and smiles awkwardly, Dustin yanks a book from the table and flips to a random page, and Steve tosses a baseball into the air as if he’d been doing so all along. They all look away, heads turned in opposite directions.

“What, did you say something?” Steve asks coyly. 

Max turns in her seat. “We know you guys are staring at us.”

“We’re just hanging out,” Steve tosses the ball again and Lucas nods. 

You roll your eyes at them. “Yeah, real convincing.”

“How you guys think your eyes boring into our skin is protecting Y/N and I from Vecna, I don’t know.” Max mumbles, collecting the paper she’s been writing on all morning. 

She walks over to the sitting area and you poke her shoulder playfully, hoping to get her to laugh. “Ignore them, they’re idiots.” When she stands before the boys and no one lifts their head to look at the two of you, you sigh. “Okay, now you’re taking this too literally.”

“You can look at us now.” Max says, to which all the boys sigh in relief. 

“Thank you,” Dustin breathes out while Steve and Lucas mutter quiet apologies. 

“Is there anything you need?” You ask the girl, noting that she’s carried her papers over to where everyone sits. 

Max nods, taking a deep breath, before extending her arm. “Yeah, I need you to take this.”

In her hand is an envelope with your name written on it. She gives one to Dustin, too. Then Lucas and Steve. The envelope is heavy in your hands. Though you suspected what Max had spent her morning doing, the reality of the goodbye letter in your hand makes your stomach twist. 

“Oh, and um. Can you give these to Mike, El, and Will?” Max asks you, handing three additional letters to you. “If you can ever get a hold of them again.”

Your head moves numbly, you think you manage to nod. Nausea wracks your skull. 

Dustin goes to open his letter and Max quickly stops him. “Woah, hey. That’s not for now. Don’t open it now.”

Your brother raises his eyebrows but does as he’s told, putting the letter back in the envelope. He squints at Max, confused, and holds up his letter. “I’m sorry, what is this?” “It’s, um…” Max looks down, clearly uncomfortable. Her eyebrows pinch together and she can’t seem to say anything else.

“They’re goodbye letters.” You answer for her, staring down at your own letter. A part of you wants to burn it, to never read its content, but the other, smaller part of you wonders what she could’ve written for you. After all the times you’ve failed Max, you’re sure she struggled to say anything nice about you.

Steve makes a pained, surprised sound. “Goodbye letters?” “It’s more like a fail-safe. For after.” Max tries to amend, as if her explanation makes the bitter taste sting less. “If things don’t work out.”

Lucas sits up in alarm. “Max, things are gonna work out.”

“No!” She exclaims, angry. “No, I don’t need you to reassure me right now and tell me it’s all gonna work out.”

“But Max, we will figure it out, alright? We will, there isn’t any reason to not–”

“People have been telling me that everything will work out my entire life, Y/N!” Max cuts you off. Her cheeks are red, her body is stiff. “And it’s almost never true. It’s never true. I mean, of course this asshole curses me.”

Suddenly all the fight within her leaves. The hurt comes back, the fear. Max looks away in shame. “I mean, for Y/N it doesn’t make any sense. But for me? I should’ve seen that one coming.”

She stands in front of you with tears in her eyes. The deafening silence that follows haunts you. Lucas can’t speak, Dustin and Steve don’t know what to say. And you? All you can do is swallow back your own tears and remind yourself that you’re here for Max. That she needs you. 

“You aren’t being fair to yourself.” You say gently, reaching out to grab her hand; but she pulls away instead. You blink away your tears and move towards her, you want nothing more than to wrap her in your arms forever and never let go. “Max, I’m serious. You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve half of what life has given you. I’m sorry that you’ve come to think otherwise.”

Max turns away as if she hadn’t heard you. Instead of responding, she turns around and walks towards a discarded table. Her eyes land on something. Picking it up, she holds up one of Dustin’s radios. “If we go to East Hawkins, will this reach Pennhurst?”

Dustin informs her that it will while Steve is hesitant. “Why are we talking about East Hawkins?”

Max stares at him, and at the same time, you and Steve realize what she’s asking: she wants to leave the Wheeler home. “No!” You both say, but Max is already grabbing her backpack and walkman. Cursing, you follow after her. 

“Max, wait!” She’s frustratingly fast and it isn’t until you’re outside that you catch up to her. Grabbing her arm, you force her to stop. “Hey, listen to me–’

“I’m not driving you anywhere.” Steve cuts through, frantic as well. Lucas and Dustin trail behind, not at all willing to argue with Max.

“If the two of you think I’m going to spend what is likely the last day of my life in the armpit that is Mike Wheeler’s basement, then you’re out of your mind.” Max rips her arm from your grasp and marches towards Steve’s car. 

“If you would just listen, I can–” But again Max interrupts you.

“Either take me where I need to go or tie me down, which is technically kidnapping of a minor.”

Steve looks at you in bewilderment at what Max has said, but you’re too busy running after her and huffing with annoyance. “Steve has already kidnapped a minor, he’s a professional at this point.”

“Hey!”

Max continues towards the car. “Well then tell your boyfriend that if I live to see another day, I swear to God, I will prosecute.” She tries to open the door, but it’s locked. “Open the door.”

Steve looks at her as if she’s insane. “Uh, no.”

“I know a good lawyer.”

“Where the hell are you meeting good lawyers in Hawkins?” You shove yourself in between them and glare at Max. You shake your head at her. “Anyways, if you had stopped for five seconds, I would’ve told you that I agree with you and that I would talk to Steve for you.”

Max looks at you, surprised. “Wait, you’re freeing me?”

“Okay, the Wheeler basement isn’t a prison, but yes.” You turn to Steve, who has already started to protest. “And as for you, you’re going to do what Max says.”

“But–”

“No.”

“Y/N!” 

“Unlock the car, Steve.”

He stares at you. You stare back, standing your ground. Max crosses her arms and joins you, daring Steve to argue. He sees the tension in your jaw, the determined look in your eyes, and he throws his head back and groans. “God, I hate this.”

You smile at him evilly; you knew he’d give in. “Keys, please.”

Steve digs through his pocket and tosses the keys to you, annoyed. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

You unlock the door and beckon for Max to get in. She thanks you, and you wink at her. Skipping over to the passenger’s side, you get in with grand flourish, leaving Steve alone with the boys. 

Lucas smirks and Dustin outright laughs in Steve’s face. “Dude, she so owns you.”

“Zip it,” he snaps his fingers. He doesn’t at all have the energy for this. “Little Henderson, that super walkie of yours better reach Pennhurst.”

And with one last threatening glare at your brother, Steve finally gets into the car. The engine roars to life. Soon, the Wheeler’s home fades into the distance. 

– 

The air in the car is tense. 

Lucas, Dustin, and Max all sit in the back while you sit next to Steve. He’s playing one of his old mixes and the music is the only sound within the car. Max stares out the window, turned away from everyone. 

When Steve pulls up in front of her trailer, he parks the car and faces her. “This better be fast, Mayfield.” “Steve!” You hit his arm, berating him. “She’s here for her mother.” “It’s fine, Y/N.” Max unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out. “I’ll be twenty seconds.”

The door slams and you pull out your own walkman. You’re anxious, being alone with the boys. You know they want to ask you a million questions, but for the first time in your life, you don’t think you have it in you to lie to them for their own comfort. 

Before you can hit play on Jonathan’s mixtape, you feel multiple pairs of eyes on you. Looking up, you find that you’re once again being stared at by Steve, Dustin, and Lucas. “What?”

Your brother clears his throat. “No, uh. Visions yet?”

“No, Dustin.” Though you both know that if it did happen, you wouldn’t tell him. Putting on your headphones, you push play and allow the music to slowly creep over you. The conversation ends there.

Steve says something to Dustin, you don’t hear nor pay attention to it. The Beatles sing and you can finally breathe. You miss Jonathan more than anything, but the pain of missing him is now tainted with the ache of guilt. 

After a few minutes, unable to sit still, you all stand outside Steve’s car and wait. Your foot taps the ground and Steve checks his watch every few seconds. When you see Max round the corner, you sigh with relief.

“Hey, that was longer than twenty seconds.” Steve says, relief flooding his own voice.

You’re about to tease her, but then you realize how pale she is. She doesn’t look good, her breathing is irregular and she’s fighting back tears. Worried, you try to stop her. “Woah, what happened? Are you okay?”

Only Max storms past you and flings herself into the car. “I’m fine, just drive.”

“Is she…?” Steve looks at you helplessly. He doesn’t know what the right call here is. Max is clearly upset about something, she’s visibly shaking, and yet she still insists on pretending that she’s fine. 

All you can do is shake your head at Steve, just as helpless. “I don’t know, but we just… We have to be there for her.”

He nods solemnly before getting back into the car. Before he drives away, Lucas asks Max if something happened, and again she lies through her teeth. You try to catch her eye in the rearview mirror, but she adamantly stares out the window once more. 

Soon the only sound in the car is Max giving quiet directions. With every instruction she gives Steve, the more the string in your chest constricts. You’re going deeper and deeper into west Hawkins. It’s mostly woods, Hopper’s cabin is close by. 

It’s also where the cemetery resides. 

“Turn here.”

Dustin looks at Max, reluctant. “Here?”

She nods as the Roane Hill Cemetery sign greets everyone. Steve inhales deeply, but he doesn’t say anything as he turns. You grip the edge of the seat, bile rising in your throat. It’s been a long time since you’ve been here.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You ask Max, breathing through your nose to try and settle the ache in your stomach. 

She doesn’t acknowledge your question; she jumps out of the car as soon as it stops. Before you can run after her, Lucas is already scrambling to follow her. He chases after her, says something to her, but you can’t hear anything. 

“What’s going on, why did Max take us here?” Steve risks touching your arm, seeking any source of solace from you that he can. 

Your hands shake slightly. Steve can feel it, and he tightens his grip around you. He tries to get you to look at him, but you can’t face him. Not now. Not yet. Instead, you keep your eyes on Max. “This is where Billy is buried.”

Steve sucks in a breath and Dustin closes his eyes. Neither of them ask you how you know this. They didn’t attend his funeral, but you did. 

You’d held Max’s hand as Billy’s casket was lowered into the earth. 

You’re torn from your thoughts when Lucas comes back to the car. He’s upset. You look up and see Max walking towards the tombstones. There’s a letter in her hand. You know who it’s meant for. 

She’s gone for a while. The minutes go by with agonizing latency. Steve remains in the car, tapping his fingers against his window anxiously. His watch never leaves his line of sight. You stand next to Dustin outside, too nervous and overwhelmed to sit right now.

Lucas sits perched on the hood of the car. He stares straight ahead. Max is just barely visible over the hill. Her back is turned towards you, she faces a tombstone. It’s lighter than the others, not yet darkened by weather and age.

It’s Billy’s tombstone. 

The grief of losing a sibling is a chasm, endless and void of everything whole. Without thinking, you reach for Dustin’s hand. He lets you, squeezing your hand, as if thinking what you are. 

The rise and fall of Max’s shoulders tells you that she’s talking to someone. That she’s talking to him, and it’s almost too intimate of a moment to watch. You feel terribly guilty, but you also can’t look away. You’re terrified that if you do, she’ll somehow disappear. 

After nearly ten minutes, Steve glances down at his watch and curses. “Alright, it’s been long enough.”

He opens the car door and gets out, slamming it behind him. The action startles you, puts you on high alert. Lucas protests, insisting that you give Max more time, but Steve doesn’t listen. “I’m calling it. If she wants to get a lawyer, she can.”

“I’m coming with you,” breaking away from Dustin, you follow after Steve. You respect Max’s wishes, but he’s right. It’s been too long. Turning towards the other boys, you give them a weary look. “Stay here, please?”

Lucas doesn’t like this. “But–”

“We’ll be right back.” You promise him, running after Steve up the hill. 

He’s already reached the crest of the hill by the time you catch up. He jogs towards Max, whose back is pin straight. She’s eerily still, almost too still, and immediately you start to feel panic crawl up your neck. 

“Max, time to giddy up, yeah?” Steve stops in front of her, but the sincerity in his voice is quickly replaced with fear. Max’s eyes are rolled back, she doesn’t respond to any of Steve’s touches. He bends down, shakes her. “Max? Max!”

She’s in the same trance as last night. You drop down next to her, knees scraping against the grass below you. “Max, sweetheart.” Cupping her face, you gently try to bring her back to you, but she’s as cold as ice. 

“Max!” Steve claps his hands in front of her face. He’s yelling now, just as scared as you are. “Hey, wake up!”

“Max!” Over and over again her name rips from your mouth as tears coat your face. You scream and cry and shake her lifeless body, begging her to wake up. To say something, to smile at you, to argue with you and push you away. 

Anything. You’ll take anything. Just as long as she’s alive.

Steve shakes her shoulders almost as violently as you do. Choking on terror, you scream down to Lucas and Dustin. “Help! Help us!”

Your hands are joined by Lucas’. The two of you scream Max’s name. Vecna has her. You’ve failed, she’s going to die because of you. You hadn’t followed her, you should’ve made her stay with you back at Steve’s car. It’s your fault, it’s always your fault.

“Max, you gotta get out of there!” Lucas cries, gripping the girl’s skin harshly. But still she doesn’t respond. “Can you hear me?”

“Please.” Your voice is hoarse, you don’t even know what you’re pleading for. All you know is that Vecna has her, that Max is about to die. And you can’t do anything. 

Steve grabs Dustin’s jacket roughly and yanks him forward. “Call Nancy and Robin! Go get them, call them. Go.”

You watch as your brother falls, frantically picking himself back up as he runs down to where his radio is. You’re choking on your own breath, hyperventilating. Lucas’ screams deafen you, Steve’s pleas echo your own. It’s a grim, helpless situation.

Nancy and Robin have to know something. They’re the only option you have left. You can’t lose Max. You can’t fucking lose her. Not after everything. She’s too young. She’s too young. It should be you instead. 

“Take me,” you scream into the sky, voice cracking. The taste of blood fills your mouth. “Just-just take me! Leave her alone, I’m-I’m right here. Please.”

Steve’s grip on Max loosens slightly, he looks up at you, alarmed, but Dustin suddenly returns with an armful of cassettes and Max’s walkman. “Guys!”

He slides onto the ground, you quickly make room for him even though you have no idea why he’s brought all of Max’s music. “What-what are you doing?”

“What’s her favorite song?” Dustin demands, out of breath.

“Why?” Lucas doesn’t move.

“Robin said if she listens–” He stumbles over his words, his mind is all over the place. “It-it’s too much to explain now. What’s her favorite song?”

Dustin is screaming and in your blind fear, your mind can’t catch up. You can’t think of Max’s favorite song, you know everything about her. What her favorite color is, her favorite ice cream flavor, her deepest fear. And yet you don’t fucking know what her favorite song is.

“I–” You can’t breathe. You wrack your mind, you try to come up with something, anything. But you can’t. Steve and the others rustle through the cassettes, their voices overlap and everyone talks at once. 

“Lucas, which one is it?” Steve exclaims, flipping over the tapes in vain. “What's her favorite song?” 

Your mind goes back to winter. To when the cold burned your lungs and the snow quieted your fears. It was Christmas, Lucas had wanted you to check up on Max. He’d been worried about her. When you visited her, she’d had her walkman on, volume on the highest setting. 

You remember asking what she’d been listening to. It’d been an innocent question, then. Nothing more than a simple formality, a way to get Max to open up to you. Feel more calm around you. 

But now it could be what prevents you from losing Max forever.

“Kate Bush!” Screaming, you dig through the cassettes yourself. “Her favorite song is by Kate Bush.”

Lucas finds the only tape by her and he quickly removes it from its case. He screams at Steve to take it and hand it over to Dustin. They move in a blur, Dustin slides the headphones over Max’s ears and your finger presses play. 

Kate Bush’s voice erupts from the speakers. Max still doesn’t move, her eyes remain rolled back. But that’s it. The music is all you can do. 

Everyone shouts over the music, there isn’t anything else that can be done. Lucas holds her hand, he doesn’t let go of her. “Max, we’re right here!”

“Come back,” you cry, hands pressed against her face. “Sweetheart, Max–”

Her body begins to levitate. 

Your entire world collapses. 

“No!” You scream, vocal chords tearing. 

Your hands grasp at the air, you try to jump, you try to reach her. You try to do something, anything, to save her. Steve clutches you against him, holds you against his chest, scared you’ll hurt yourself. But you don’t care. Lucas screams behind you, Dustin cries for his friend. You throw yourself at Max, over and over again. 

But Max is just out of reach, dangerously high, and all you can do is watch. 

Her body constricts, her neck snaps back in a sickening manner. She starts to convulse, just how Billy did the night the Mind Flayer killed him. It’s happening again. All the air leaves your lungs. Max’s body dangles before you, taunts you.

Then, just as suddenly as it began, her body falls. You and Steve break her fall as she crumbles onto the grass, just barely managing to protect her head. “Max!”

She’s awake, gasping for air. Lucas cradles her body as she cries. She can’t speak, her hands clutch at any part of Lucas that she can reach. He pulls her close, his head rests against hers. He’s crying, too. “I thought we lost you.”

“I’m still-I’m still here,” Max chokes out. “I’m still here.”

“You’re never leaving.” You gasp out, holding her hand. She’s warm again. Her flesh doesn’t numb yours anymore. “I’m not-I’m not letting you leave us.”

Max cries, your promise heavy against her. You brush back her hair, your tears mix with hers. Steve’s arm wraps around you and Dustin’s head rests against your shoulder. You all hover over Max, almost as if instinctively shielding her.

She’s still here. 

The sun begins to set.

-

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[ma1dita]

without a doubt

part one can be found here -> it will pass

words: little under 3k

summary: James has a lot of questions, but he quickly finds out Peanut is the answer.

warnings: none! angst–hurts before things get happy, peter (since some of yall might need a warning), all the marauders are alive and happy, lily is too smart for this, peanut and jelly 4 ever

a/n: thank you for all the love (and tears shed) for it will pass! i genuinely rewrote this about four different times and almost lost the plot, but please let me know if it meets your expectations!

(posted 9/11/23)

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 4

I know it will pass, it’s just heavy. You’re all I know.

There’s something about the noise in your brain as you move around your silent apartment. It overpowers the fear that hasn’t quite left your body after he let the front door fall shut. Being paralyzed in the aftermath of the truth that left your lips…It’s maddening. And you can’t even talk to the person you want to hear it most. You love him.

I do love you (Y/N), just in a different way.

Those 10 minutes were a fleeting moment in the life you’ve shared with your best friend thus far. But now, he’s stopped writing, stopped calling, and you’ve never heard him be so quiet in the past few days after the fact. There’s a knock at the door, and the sound interrupts the way you breathe, dishrag in hand, and James’ sweater still on your body.

I know that, James. I just don't know how to stop.

“What a vision you make, (Y/N).” Remus jokes in an attempt to try to make you smile. He’s leaning against the doorframe as you pop your head through the opening and he slowly moves to follow you into your home. Why does it feel like you have to explain yourself this time? But Remus is deeply understanding in nature, and he opens his arms for you to burrow yourself in.

“Get yourself fixed up. Not taking a no for an answer, love. You’ve been MIA for long enough and you know how Pads is about his birthday. He’ll want you there, broken heart be damned.” Remus is rubbing your back, and you groan.

“Ever the fucking diva.”

His chest rumbles with laughter, but both of you know that you say it lightly. Years ago, when Sirius moved into the Potter’s, it was understood that every birthday was to be as great as he was to his found family.

Nothing has to change, Peanut.

Remus sniffs you lightly, nose crinkling, “Place is spotless. Your turn for a deep clean and then off we go.” A horrified noise leaves your throat as you push yourself out of his embrace.

As the steam from the shower slowly suffocates you, you realize that Remus innately knew the reason for your emotional sabbatical from James and the rest of your friends. You wonder if everyone’s known that you’ve been in love with James Potter, and scrunch your face at how oblivious you both have been. The cold water washes away the grief that’s had a handle on your being this past month. Out of all the pranks they’ve played, this tops it. What a sick joke for the both of you to be left out of.

I think you should go now. Please.

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 3

All of Sirius’s birthdays are spectacular, but you really can’t fight the hurt crawling up your chest. There are too many memories here at Potter Manor, too many familiar faces asking where you’ve been, and James looks petrified, eyes following your figure around the Manor like you’re a ghost he can’t touch. You walk up the stairs like you have many times over the years, finding a hideaway in the west wing. You and James used to gaze at the stars here.

“So why the hell are you moping on my birthday? No one’s allowed to be sad today.” Sirius grins, breaking the silence as he walks across the balcony to throw his arms over your seated figure.

“Happy Birthday Padfoot.” you smile, leaning up to kiss his cheek. You clink your glass against his as he takes a seat next to you on the bench.

“Trust me when I say you always look stunning, (Y/N) but there’s this look in your eye that you get when you’re around Prongs nowadays. Might I say it’s why you dropped off the face of the Earth?”

Your face instantly drops at his words, and you’re glad he can’t see much in the dim light.

“How long have you all known, Pads?”

“I don’t know about much when it comes to love, (Y/N). But what I do know is that I’m his brother, and you’re his best friend. There’s a lot of responsibility being those two things for someone like that idiot. You love him like humans need air.”

“I just… I don’t know what to do with it.” The elderflower wine glides down your throat, its taste sweet on your tongue. Sirius sits with you, knowing what’s coming next. As an older brother, he also knows you’ve been waiting for someone to listen.

“What do I do with all the love I have for him? Where does it go now that he doesn’t want it?”

“I’ll take some. It sounds lovely.” Peter’s voice almost echoes in the silence as you both turn your heads to see him and Remus in the dim light of the hallway, a bottle of firewhiskey in hand and it makes you genuinely smile for the first time in days.

“Yeah, pass it around. Godric knows Prongs doesn’t appreciate you enough.” Remus says bluntly, and you hit his stomach when he ruffles your hair.

“Honestly, what a prat! Makes you plan his proposal and doesn’t want you at the afterparty? The nerve.” You choke on the remnants of your wine as you laugh at Sirius’s outrage for you, and all four of you are giggling in the dark like idiots as Remus pours you shots. If anything else goes wrong in this life, you’re glad that you have the Marauders to live it with you.

The laughter reaches the hallway, and in walks Lily, who teasingly asks “Did the party move in here without us?” James is as still as a statue behind her, watching you laugh with his boys. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen you happy and acknowledges that he’s to blame.

“You shouldn’t be surprised, Lils. There’s always a party when Padfoot’s around,” you remark, and everyone gets up to go back to the party. Lily looks around as if she’s missing something, then looks at James.

“I’m glad that (Y/N)’s back from whatever’s been keeping her busy. Looks like everything’s falling back into place.” she muses, and James can’t help but watch his best friend, no, his best girl, walk away, thinking that everything must be falling apart.

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 2

It’s morning now, and a lot of the crowd has gone home or fallen asleep in the many rooms of Potter Manor. You decide to stay to help clean up for Mr. and Mrs. Potter, who were always like second parents to you as well. They had a thing for taking in kids who needed love. With your best efforts, you can’t seem to escape James, who has incessantly trailed behind you into every room you walk into. You dodge him again as you walk down the hall, but James, who has always been a chaser in more ways than one grabs you by the arm and pushes you into his childhood bedroom.

A shriek leaves you as he closes the door and has you up against the wall.

“What the fu—”

“You’re avoiding me. Why are you avoiding me?” his face is panicked as his breath hits your face.

“You told me to leave you alone. That’s what I’m doing now, James. What else could you want from me?” Your hands are on his chest, crinkling the dress shirt that you once helped him pick out at the shops, and you feel breathless, angry at knowing him too well, and angry at what he’s insinuating.

James is at a loss. He loves you. He’s never gone more than a weekend without you and now it’s been ages…. And he loves you. He’s looking at you differently now, in the sunlight that floods through his old bedroom. He loves you so much that it hurts.

His hands slide from the wall behind you, until they reach your shoulders, and trace down your arms. Intertwining your fingers together, James speaks.

“I didn’t mean…” he exhales. “I just…”

“Did you not want me here too? Because unfortunately, my friends are also yours, so maybe we can clarify exactly the terms you want me to follow next time, James.” you seethe, getting in his face.

You push him away, his arms chasing after you, pining for your touch. Your heart is racing with hurt, with anger, with love, all for the man standing across the room.

“Peanut…”

“No.”

“I never want you to leave me alone, okay? It’s been agony without you and I can’t even put into words how—”

“I can, James. How long have I been so oblivious to the fact that I’m in love with you and how long have you just let it happen? You can’t just… please don’t pretend that you don’t know that I’ve been waiting all my life for you to let me fill the empty spaces in your heart.” Your voice wavers as you pull yourself away from him, sitting on his bed.

“Just tell me what’s happening, Peanut. You’ve always had the answers. I feel like I can’t breathe when you’re not there and I….. my heart feels like it’s going to combust… I… I just feel…. so intensely. I miss who I am when I’m with you.”

James throws himself down onto the bed, hyperventilating with his head in his hands. Your hands are shaking as you reach for him. You’ll always reach for him.

He raises his head, as you delicately grab his face into your hands. Your fingertips brush his tears away, loving him for the mess he is.

“My life has been so quiet these past few days and I’m so scared to live life without you. Did I fuck it all up for us?” You whisper.

James licks his lips, and he’s playing with your hair in his hands. Your knees are touching on the patterned bedspread. The space between you diminishes as you realize that he’s about to ruin everything.

Your best friend is going to kiss you.

He’s holding your jaw so gently and for a second, you wonder if this is what it would feel like to be loved by him in the way that you do. With every single ounce of control, you turn your head away from what you’ve been craving most. James’ lips land on your cheek, and he’s chasing after you again, muttering apologies as he looks into your eyes and sees everything he’s been wanting. He sees his whole life with you through the split second your eyes connect. Pushing him away again, you stumble away with a sob.

“What was that?”

“I just… “ He’s gasping for air, feeling like his heart has exploded, and the silence is so loud that he feels like his heart must be in pieces, and you’re picking up the wreckage to take home. He’s in love with you. His heart has always been yours.

“You what, James? Don’t do that!”

He’s lived in a mansion his whole life but Godric, is this room suddenly feeling too small? You get on your feet, stepping away from him and he’s following you.

“Do what?”

“Don’t make me hate you, Jelly. Loving you has been painful enough.” Tears are blurring your vision as you hiccup, and maybe it’s better to not see him right now. Maybe you really shouldn’t have come.

“I just wanted to know. I know now, love, I…” James whimpers at the sound of his nickname. Your nickname for him alone has this man wanting to drop to his knees.

“No. Don’t you know how cruel you’re being right now? To me? To the love of your life? I would never do that to Lily!” Your voice is getting louder by the minute, and James is stoic in his silence, steps away from your blaze.

“But you told me you’re in love with me. Are you saying this is because of me?”

“Everything I do is because of you, James. And if you don’t know that by now…” Then maybe you don’t know me at all.

The words go unsaid but the both of you are hit with the reality of it. Your hands jangle the doorknob to get away from him, to be anywhere but here.

—

DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 1

Lily listens intently as James tells her everything he's been wanting to say for the last eleven years. She's not surprised, in fact, she knows this is the truth, but she's still heartbroken. Lily Evans and James Potter are both people who like to chase things, people—but after all that’s said and done, the thrill wears off. They’re more alike than they’ll ever know.

He tries to apologize, but Lily cuts him off and tells him there's no need. She's always known the truth, and even though it took him this long, she's glad he finally figured it out. Smartest girl of their year, after all.

“I mean, I always felt like she should’ve been dating you, but then we happened and I fell too hard and didn’t stop to ask questions. I tried to be blind to it, but…it was nice, wasn’t it?” Lily whispers, holding James’ hand for the last time. He looks like he’s about to pass out.

“I’ll be okay, Potter. I was before you, and I will be after you. So thank you for being honest. You’ve always been honest with me.” A small kiss on his cheek renders him breathless. Once upon a time, he would stay up all night at the idea of Lily Evans loving him. But his heart has always belonged to you. Without a doubt, James Potter is in love with you, his best friend.

He doesn’t tell Lily he was planning to propose tomorrow, since the situation is already as messy as it is. But Lily Evans always knows.

—

JAMES HAS A PROPOSAL

James is pushing boxes back into Potter Manor, and Mippy helps flit the rest of his belongings up the stairs with magic. The least he could do is give Lily their apartment after their breakup. He looks around, rubbing his fingers of dust as his mother calls him for dinner. How humbling, he thinks, to start all over because he was too stupid to realize he’s in love. Starting over in a place he calls home is absurd. He looks out towards the courtyard where you had your fairytale wedding, walks by the hallways you used to race training broomsticks in, and back to his room where he used to whisper hushed lullabies to help you sleep. Everything reminds him of you, and your love consumes each memory that flickers through his vision. The feeling shocks him like ripping your head out of a pensieve. He’s so utterly in love with you.

What the hell is he doing at his parents’ house? He should be getting his girl! James apparates to your apartment, knocking on the door like a madman. He knocks so loudly the wood is bruising his knuckles, red blooming under his touch.

The door rips open, and he’s never been so glad to see you angry.

“You literally have a key, James. You don’t have to be a dick every—”

“You’re wrong.”

Your frustration gives way, lines on your forehead wrinkling in confusion. It’s like there’s a glass separating the both of you, and you’re scared to touch him.

You shake your head as he continues, “You’re wrong, by the way. I don’t know if Lily’s the love of my life. I haven’t lived it with her, nor will I. What I do know is that I’ve loved you for most of mine.”

“What are you saying, Jelly,” you utter, and James’ is grinning so largely you want to punch his face in.

“I love you. As in I’m in love with you. Without any doubt, or excuses, or anyone holding me back, my heart is yours, if you’ll have me?”

He rushes to catch you, his proposal hitting you hard as you fall into his embrace, hands feeling as much of him as you can. His broad shoulders, his strong neck, the dimples on his cheek, the glasses on his face—all of him is in love with you.

Your blubbering is muffled as he finally pulls his lips to yours, finally feeling, finally… James’ kiss lays out all of what he’s been holding in, and without words you both understand that this wreckage in your beating hearts, the destruction of everything you’ve set together as best friends, is love. He’s clutching you to his body, moving you backward into your apartment, feet moving in sync like an orchestrated dance. You both fall onto your couch in a fit of laughter and tears. Finally.

“How foolish of me to be with another, Peanut. I’m a married man, after all.”

"Not bad for a second kiss, Jelly." You laugh at him.

James looks at your smile like it’s the answer to every question he’ll ask in this life.

—

“We give those we love nicknames, because love requires a word that belongs to us alone.” Fredrik Backman

tagged: @prongs-moon @alltheotherkidss @anehkael @princessprongs

[littyhoney]

Can we please have Earth 1610! Miles x reader where throughout their journey, the reader has been envious of Gwen because of Miles' feelings for her and he was completely oblivious about Y/N's feelings for him. Then comes the events and reveal of Earth 42! Miles, which he and Y/N were together but his Y/N ended up dying. As the story goes, both our Miles and Reader gets taken and when our Miles wakes up being tied against the punching bag, Y/N comes after him to save him but Earth 42! Miles is blinded with envy and was still in love with Y/N so he pins them on the ground in front of our Miles as he watched his other self trapped Y/N in his arms and praising their beauty. This makes Miles realize that seeing his other self worship Y/N makes his heart burn with Jealousy and realize that he has been in love with Y/N all along, not Gwen. Thank you so much!

Treasure to him.

(Earth 1610! Miles x F!Reader x Earth 42! Miles)

Warnings: Heavy angst, mention of gun, slight toxic, manipulation, very long story

Word count: 5.3K words (longest one fic i have ever write)

Ps: This is an apology piece from me for the delay of chapter five of Right person,Wrong time. I can't promise you guys when i would release it but i hope with this piece it would be something fun for yall to read. I appreciate every single reblogs and words of encouragement for me to write i love yall are so sweet. Enjoy spiders! <3<3

(In earth 1610, before the ATSV events)

You and Miles have known each other since he first step in the Vision Academy, you knew him by the tittle 'cop kid' since like half of the school witnessed Miles embarrassing moment of him and his dad. But you found out that the 'cop kid' is actually a sweet,charming yet awkward boy. You always wait with anticipation for him to walk in the class that you two had in the same time just so that you can see what’s new in his sketchbook, his graffiti sketches some of his portraits its so well drawn that you are mesmerized by it. You also hang out together either to study or you just want to sit together listening to music while you watch the master creating his masterpiece.

Day by day you just start to like his stupid corny jokes about science, his eyes that reminds you of the warm sun and that stupid sweet smile of his. It’s hard not to fall for him, whenever you hang out he would hold your hand to cross the road because he doesn’t want you to fall behind or trip. The little banter you both have when you both come up with a stupid question like “does pineapple belong on pizza”.

But it all changes when he met this ‘Gwanda’ girl or Gwen is her real name since you been in the same class as her after she got transferred here apparently. Ever since he met Gwen he has been weird, that’s when you know he is the new Spider-man of Brooklyn. How do you know? You walk into his room with Ganke one day to his dorm room to return his notes, you look up to see not only Miles on the ceiling but with Gwen and seems to be more spider people. Resulting to Ganke falling back pass out while you got web by one of them.

As the months pass by you and Miles grew closer, you been with him through thick and thin. He need notes? You lend him yours, need someone to dial cops on criminal or villain that he caught? Your phone is ready, need someone to let out some pent up frustration? You will listen to him and be there for him every time. You understand being a hero for the city and a student in such a prestige school in Brooklyn can be too much for him, not to mention he is a freaking teenager. You show him support and love to him hoping that he would notice you feelings for him, of course you did all of that not only because of love,but because you genuinely care for him. But the moment the two of you would just sit together and chatting away through the evening at the ‘Foam Part’ coffee shop, everything just feels right again.

Today is the day that you will admit your feeling for Miles,feet tapping nervously on wood tile with your drink have gone down half of the cup after you keep sipping on it. You been waiting for Miles for half an hour now,you have left him a few messages but he doesn’t respond to it. But he did promise to meet here today, but thanks to his delay you keep reciting the script in your head on how you going to confess to him. Maybe make it quick and straight to the point like “Hey miles look, I like you” or make it sentimental like “Miles,ever since I met you a year ago-” your train of though got interrupted by a ring of a bell from the entrance of the coffee shop.

There standing by the door, slightly out of breath stand Miles Morales. He look around the coffee shop trying to see a familiar face, when his eyes land on you a smile is send to your direction. He make his ways to you before sitting down with a big sigh “Finally! Im done dealing with that guy” he muster up the best puppy face that he can at you “Im sorry that im late (Y/N), as a sorry I’ll buy your (favorite dessert) what do you say?” he tilt his head to the side leaning forward.

Oh how can you be mad at him after that very tempting deal so you roll your eyes and smile at him “Alright alright apology accepted,but this will be the last okay?”. He laugh and nodding his head “Aigh I’ll make sure next time I won’t be late, I be right back” he give you a wink before walking to the counter to order his drink and getting your dessert. You sit there smilling to yourself,the butterfly fluttering in your stomach.

Few minutes later Miles return with the set items “here ya go! Enjoy” he put the small plate in front of you and keeping his hot coco to himself. “You don’t have to you know,a sorry would suffice” you insist while picking up the spoon. Miles shake his head waving his hand “Nah nah I feel bad keeping you hangin man, that’s the least I could do for you”. You just let out a chuckle and nod,it’s free food so.

Like always, you are curious as to what he have been drawing this week so as you feed yourself a spoonful of sweetness “So,anything new you been cooking up?”. Miles put down his cup before nodding “Yeah yeah I have a few new pieces, here” he turn his body slightly reach for his bag pulling out his black sketchbook that is decorated by stickers “Here,check it out” he slide the book to you.

You open up the book skipping few pages back until you see a new art have been drawn by him “Whoa, these are neat Miles” you smile wide as you take in the details and bright colors of the pieces he drawn. “I wanna put up that one up on a wall,I’ll let you know when though” he says as he watches you going through his precious book. You chuckle “can’t wait Miles” you flip to another page, seeing the familiar spider people like that particular black and white spider, Miles told you his name is Spider Noir.

Your eyes trail to another piece in the page, your smile fell slightly. It’s a drawing of the familiar blonde girl, Gwen. You can’t lie that Gwen is a beautiful girl and very talented, the drawing capture her smile and her cool shaved hair that gives her more personality. The envy feeling return but you swallow it down “Wow someone is having a crush huh” you said teasingly at Miles lifting your head to look at him,with a soft but pain smile. “What do you mean?” Miles says furrowed his eyebrows. You turn the book held it up towards him lifting one of your eyebrow “Come onn don’t lie,it’s pretty obvious Miles”. Miles eyes widened “What?! no no nahh you got it wrong im not pfff that’s funny nah nah” he says as he cross his arms over his chest after waving his hand side to side.

You roll your eyes snapping the book shut putting it down on the table “Please you been talking and drawing the same spider people these past months, and you been drawing Gwen a lot too” you give him a pointed look. Miles sigh and put his arms on the table “Look (N/N) whatever it is you’re thinking it’s not that I like her its just that I…I miss her,I miss them” he gesture his hand to the book “It’s, kind of lonely being the only spider-man you know”.

You purse your lips before sigh lightly “I hope one day you can meet them again Miles” you reach for his hand,holding it both in yours. “You’re not alone here Miles, you have Ganke…you have me”

Miles look into your eyes,he is stunned. For as long as they have been friends, Miles does have a tiny crush on her. Miles just like the sound of her laughter or when she scrunched her face at his corny joke makes him forget his problem for a while. He feel comfortable with her,he feel free to be himself with or without the mask. He knows that she’ll be there whenever he needed her help, he also put an extra work to his drawings because he wanted to show you only the best pieces of art from him. But when he met Gwen and to know that she is also a spider,it feels different to him. He know how much Gwen understands him, he doesn’t feel different of being the odd one. He is confuse, over his own feelings.

“Look Miles I been wanting to tell you something” your voice snap him out of his thoughts. “W-what is it (N/N)?” Miles look at you with anticipation.

You on the other hand is having a battle with yourself in your head going back and forth with ‘tell him you feel better’ or ‘Don’t tell him and pretend’. You squeeze his hand in your palm slightly, building up the courage. ‘this is it,if he won’t return my feelings at least I get it off my chest’ you blew out an air and open your mouth “Miles, I…” the word is stuck in your throat. ‘Just say it,say it!’ you mentally scolding yourself.

Just as you open your mouth a loud crash and a panic yelling come from outsdie of the cafe, you and Miles turn to look at scene to see few robbers went inside a car while the owner is screaming for help. ‘Wow…the universe hates me huh’ you look back at Miles to see him already looking at you with a clear ‘I gotta go sorry’ in his eyes. You just tilt your head to it with an understanding smile “Go get em spidey”. Miles smiles at you, and starts to stand up but be he stops “Wait,what is it that you want to tell me?”. You shake your head “No no it’s nothing important really,just school stuff”. But Miles know better and reassure you “Look i know its important, so tell me later okay?” he says as he start to walk backward to the door “Got it?”. You nod your head “got it now go!” watching him runs out of the cafe.

Well there goes your moment to confess, you sight as you take out your phone calling your best friend.

(In earth-42 before the ATSV event)

You climb up the fire escape to Miles hideout,where he and uncle Aaron would do their plans and fixing on his Prowler suit. You know this when the day his father died he sworn to keep the neighborhood safer,not only for his mom but for you too. He try his very best not to let two of his most beloved people in his life have the same fate as his dad.

You being a lovely partner support him and his ambition, you help him provide some of the material he needed. When he got hurt or beaten up, you would be there tending him on the couch, When some day comes the day where he is drown by guilt of not saving or do anything to save his dad, you will be there either holding him or be on the phone with a gentle voice to remind him that “It’s not your fault love”. You are his anchor that keep him grounded in the sea of his big responsibilities. He have to be the man of the house, helping his mom, be a student and survive in this dangerous city.

But the two of you are such a great couple, Miles would walk you to and back from school. Always walk together hand in hand through the school hallway, keeping you protected from anyone try to do anything. Secret kisses and sweet words exchange with a whisper, only a blind person could not see how in love these two couple are. The love and tenderness in his eyes whenever he look at you as you busy telling him about your day. One time the two of you spend the whole night dancing to uncle Aaron’s boombox that he borrowed, it ended with his arms around your waist while your arms around his neck gaze into one another swaying to the music.

That moment will always stuck with you, as you reach the window to his hideout. You heard music blast coming from inside, you pull the window up and crawl in making your way to your man. Miles seem busy with his claw sitting on the stool, so you gently wrap your arm around his waist from behind giving him a soft kiss on his neck “Hey love”. He hum lifting his head from hunching over the claw turning his head to give a kiss on your temple “Hey princesa” you smile at the nickname.

“You been so busy lately love, we spend little to no time together this week but on call for hours”  you push yourself away from him leaning on the table beside him. Miles continue to temper with his claw “lo siento, princesa. Promise after I finish with this I’m yours for the night” he glance at you. You look over to the other side of the table to see his black sketchbook, you reach and open it to see few of his old drawings he made. He have less and less time to draw his heart out these past weeks, you keep turning the pages when you see a beautiful drawing of you. You graze your finger over it to see the details and pop out colors. Your hear swell to see he have been drawing you on the few pages back, he drawn you when you’re in class and when you were practicing volleyball he capture your smile every single one of it.

“Aigh im done now, you good mi amada?” Miles call out to you as he grabbing his signature green and purple jacket, he turn his head to see you looking at his sketchbook eyeing on the particular piece that he draw few days back. He knows you love it when he draws you, he wrap one of his arm around your waist leaning his head on yours “Mi amada come on, you can check em out later”. You put the book down chuckling “Okay okay Mr Morales im goingg” you broke out a grin as he drag you by the waist to the same window you came in.

You spend the night getting tacos and chatting together in the cafe you love to hang out at, Miles insist of paying the drinks and your favorite dessert as you two stand patiently at the line to order. Miles held you close to him both are oblivious as what will happen to them soon. A figure dress in all black with hoodie up and mask covering half of his face, he walks up to the cashier.

“Uhm sir you need to be in line to order please” the little waitress says a bit skeptical at the man. “I’m not here for that, the register. open it” the guys says making the waitress even more confuse “E-excuse me sir?”. The guy sudden reach for his back pulling out a gun pointing straight at her “I said open the register now!”

His voice caught the attention not only to the two of you but the few teens in the cafe, once it clicked in their head what is happening some reach for the phone to dial the police but the robber turn around keeping the gun up “If any of you even think of putting your phone up I’ll fucking shoot you!”

Miles already pulling you behind him, his mind is racking for any plans so that this situation won’t get out of hand. You on the other hand holding on to your phone already dialing the 911 but you let the operator listens to the whole commotion, You hand grips tightly on Miles arm, heart beats so fast that you can hear it in your ears. “Miles, what should we do?” you whisper to him. “It’s okay, I’ll handle this okay?” you held on to him with a frown, you know he can handle a simple robbery with his Prowler suit but right now he doesn't have anything to defend himself. “don’t be ridiculous you don’t have your suit” you hiss out through your teeth furrowing your brows at him.

Miles turn his head to his face hold a serious expression,his tone is stern “Just stay out of it, let the police know what happen okay?” before you could protest Miles already make his way to the robber grabbing on to his shoulder turning him around grabbing his arm twisting it. The robber yelp at the sudden attack from Miles, the pain from his twisted arm making him let go of the gun, the weapon fall to the floor as the two struggle accidentally kicking the gun to your direction. You look at the gun and look at the two, you quickly reach down to the gun holding on to it so that the robber won’t take it.

The robber look at the gun and then up to you, the look on that guy’s face strike fear in you, you hand starts to tremble holding the gun. The robber punch Miles straight to his face,this time without his mask the pain makes Miles stumble to the side making the robber charge towards his terrified partner. “Give that to me bitch!” He grab on to your arm so hard that it is starting to hurt, but you determine to keep holding on to the gun.

Miles shake his head to relieve the pain slightly to see his partner and the robber are fighting over the gun, in panic he rush over to them “(Y/N)!”. Suddenly everything turns slow mo, the robber tug the gun hard from your grasp turning it towards you and

BAM!! BAM!

Two shots have been released, a searing pain runs through your abdomen and chest. The blows making you stumble back on your feet a few time before your knees buckle underneath you, you body slammed on the floor. The sounds of people screams muffle and your vision starts to get blur.

Miles look at the scene eyes wide, ‘no,no this can’t be happening’. He rushes to your side in his head screaming ‘Please no, god no no not her too’ his hand hover over the gunshot before he softly says to you “Okay okay I'm going to turn you around baby” trying to reassure you and to himself. He carefully lift one of your side to look at the gunshot to see if it went all the way through, it does. You are bleeding out a lot, loosing blood by the second. He look back to your face to see you are crying and gasping, he hold your face with both of his face, he try his best to hold on to his tears as he choke out the words “Baby listen to me you’re gonna be alright, just hold on for a little longer baby please”.

The robber realized what he had done run out of the cafe, but Miles paid no mind as he is grasping on to you. You feel yourself is slowly slipping away, your eyes locked on to the beautiful brown eyes of your boyfriend. Struggle to breath you choke out the words “I-im scared Miles”. He held on to your hand bringing it to his cheek “Im here baby I’m here” he says as a tear runs down his cheek dripping on to your cold cheek. You know it be the last time you will ever see his honey brown eyes, with a last energy you mustered “M-Miles I-”

Then silent…to Miles everything around him is muffled, he is staring into your eyes as you pass to the other side. Your warm hand is now cold In his, he already misses your voice. He hold your limp body to his chest sobbing as he chant

“I’m sorry”

(Back to earth 1610 Miles and Reader)

For some reason everything went wrong so fast in one day, you and Miles barely survive the spider arm. One after another happened in a such pace you could barely catch up but now Miles have successfully got both of you home,or not. You are waiting patiently on the rooftop of his apartment to help him with the Spot but your eyes widened at the big graffiti on the wall of the other building, when did Mr Morales died? You remember that Miguel says his death will be in two days. The sinking feeling in your stomach is making you panic, you pieces together that you are in a wrong home, in a wrong dimension. The once lively and beautiful city turn into this dark and grimy city,the street that are always filled with people is now silence, you're in a completely different place. You run your fingers through your hair in frustration “Oh shit shit” then you walk towards the door leading to the staircase ‘I have to get Miles!’ as your hand was about to reach the door a voice came from behind the door.

Your eyes widened quickly pressing yourself to the wall blending into the shadow to see who walk out of the door, there walk out uncle Aaron and Miles. Miles on the other hand is scare and worry about you, he left you here for while and promise to come back but after he figure out he is in a different dimension he wanted to run out of his house to get to you but instead he stumble to his supposed dead uncle. “Look uncle Aaron, I gotta uh go” he try to get out of the situation “I gotta go find” his words trail  as his eyes land on the same graffiti, his dad is dead in this dimension. Before he could do anything a figure jump from the other rooftop and sucker punch Miles making him pass out straight to the floor.

You cover your mouth as you witness everything play out in front of you, not believing this is really happening. For another dimension you would have thought that uncle Aaron will be the same as your dimension uncle Aaron but no, this guy is something else. You have to save Miles and go home ASAP, you watch as Aaron slung the limp body of Miles over his shoulder turning to the other figure seems to have an exchange of conversation before the figure leap away from the rooftop to another. Aaron on the other hand walk to the fire escape stairs making his way down to the dark alleyway.

You have no other choice, you have to save Miles. You have no one else to call for help. You’re on your own, so you follow behind a few feet away from Aaron. The quiet and empty street is dark enough for you to trail without raising any of his attention, heck the street is dark enough for people in their home not to question the limp body he is currently carrying.

After a few minutes you are in a familiar window of uncle Aaron’s house, you peek inside through the window from the fire escape stair that you once went with Miles to sneak out to visit his uncle. You wait patiently as Aaron have tied Miles to the punching bag with chains and wires, Aaron answers his phone call it seems to be urgent. ‘please go out please go out’ you chant in your head and your prayer is answered as Aaron walk out of the room after he shut his phone, huh that was easy.

You push the window up and goes in as quietly as you can, your eyes glance around the dark room, completely oblivious to a pair of eyes are watching your every move from the beginning. He hope the person that his other self is looking for will be you and you walk right in to him. He got a second chance to see you again,and he intended to keep you here all to himself.

As you walk right under him, the figure dangle himself down with one of his hand try not to make any sudden noise to startle you. Before you could reach to his counterpart, he reach his hand to your shoulder gently hold on to it. You startle by the sudden contact make you turn around to see a purple neon mask staring at you, you gasp out in surprise stumble back on your feet “W-wait!” you are scare of him. You used to love his mask, you thought it look ‘cool’.

Miles quickly hold on to both of your forearm pulling you gently to him, he unmask himself so that you can hear his voice. His voice is gentle “Shh shh calm down mi amada its me”  he hold firmly at your forearms taking a few step closer to you. You are scare at this guy, the darkness of the room is making it hard for you to see his face but why is he talking to you like he known you before? And the voice sound so familiar. “W-who are you?”

Miles steps forward to you making you take every each step back until you are pin against the table and finally the light shine on to the person in front of you, that same honey eyes staring back at you. “M-Miles?” you stare at him eyes wide, this Miles looks different he have eye bags, slightly sunken cheek and his hair is shave and braided.

He look at you with a sad smile, you were too stun to do anything as he hold your cheek so gently “Hey mi amada, what happened to you?” his thumb grazing over a little scratch on your cheek cause by Miguel. “W-what did you just called me” you ask but this Miles pay no mind to your question “It’s alright I’m here now I won’t let anything happen to you,not this time”. Your mind is racing, why is he calling you my beloved? Why does he seem to miss you? Your other half is also here…well was here. Your eyes held sympathy at him now “Were you close?”

Miles saddened at your words “What are you saying mi vida, we are close” you shake your head at him taking his hand that is holding your cheek moving it away from your cheek “No no im not her Miles please” he grasp your hand pinning them to the table “We belong together mi amor, you belong to me” he lean closer to you, now chest to chest. You tremble slightly fear of this Miles behavior.

(1610 Miles POV)

Miles open his eyes, his head rings as he try to focus on his vision but as he open his eyes to see you are pinned down by somebody. Miles see your eyes make contact with his, your eyes are begging for him to help. But he can’t do anything but to dangle helplessly. The person pinning her to the table hold her chin turning her chin“Ah ah attention to me mi vida” Miles are even more confuse as to why this stranger is calling you endearing name that only use if you have an intimate relationship. “Please…you have to let me go, I-im not who you think I am” she whimper as you try to move away from the person but he shushed her “Shh mi princesa”

Miles heart burned slightly to see this person calling you different endearing names, its like he is talking to his lover and the tender touches is like he holding a treasure. Miles have been the few person that you trust and comfortable enough for physical touch, the warm hugs you share and the hand holding as you walk together. To see this complete stranger to just touch you it triggers his protectivenes and his, hidden feelings for you. “Hey! Let go of her man!”

(Back to third POV)

Miles lean back slightly a lopside smile tug on his lips before he lick his teeth “So, he’s awake” he still keep you pin to the table. “What so special about him hm? Tell me mi princesa” he reaches over to the side for one of his claw. “Base on the first name term you been calling him, you’re not even together,you’re not special to him” he hold his gaze onto you, hoping for you to understand his side and stay. Your heart squeeze painfully at his words, you two are nothing more than a friend.

“But to me, you’re my treasure, mi amor” his eyes is pleading at you, “He have all this fancy power but he can’t even get you home safe, mi princessa don’t you see? You’re here for a reason, to be here by my side together again”

Miles shake his head ‘no no no that’s not true (N/N) don’t listen to him’, he does care for her, he always have, you are special to him. You have been with him from the beginning, when you stand up to him to Miguel his heart swell to see you will always be by his side even when the others are againts him. He doesn’t want to lose you. “No don’t listen to him (Y/N)” Miles voice seems to annoy this other Miles.

“You’re so beautiful..I have miss your alluring voice talking to me, your soft touches” he put on his claw. “Why would you want to be with someone like him” his voice is lace with venom, he hate his other self to not cherish you like he would.

“Who are you..what do you want from her” Miles eyes glare at the back of this guy skull, he heard him chuckle “I’m” he pause before turn his head “I'm Miles Morales. But you,you can call me the Prowler” the other Miles says as he glare at the dangling spider.

Miles eyes widened to see himself with full on Prowler gear and a braided hair,he look much more mature here. Miles put the pieces of puzzle together in his head,In this dimension he too have his version of (Y/N), after hearing the names he have been calling it seems his other self is truly in love with not only earth 42 version of (Y/N) but from 1610 dimension too. “Look man…I know you have history with her but you can’t keep her here…you have to let us go”

The Prowler Miles walk up to near him “And let YOU keep her?” he raises his claws powering it up curling his claws into a fist “why would I do that” he put the fist beside his head.  

You watch the two Miles, one is glaring to the other while the other is looking at the other with an eyes burning with determination. Determined to get you out of here…but the question is

Who will you choose?

(the end)

[ysljoon]

Whumptober Day 5-Keegan P. Russ

✲Prompt: Debris

✲Warnings: angst (its rlly angsty read at your own discretion yall), main chaarcter death, explosion, feelings of grief

✲a/n: yall i shed some tears as i wrote this my goodness but anyways enjoy this is my first time writing keegan and idk if this is too ooc for him but fuck it we ball

✲MINORS DNI (have your age in your bio or you're getting blocked)

There was smoke thickening the air and obscuring your vision. Your eyes dilated to get back into focus. The last thing you remember was a loud boom and you blacked out after. You squinted trying to look around trying to understand your surroundings as the dust started to settle. You don’t know who detonated an explosive but it was pretty easy to assume it wasn’t anyone from the team or any accompanying allies that came for assistance. You clambered from the rubble your body was rag-dolled into and steadied yourself, but stumbled once you realized there was a gash down the entirety of your outer thigh. Your adrenaline is through the roof for you to even feel it right now.

You limped through the rubble trying to see any familiar faces from your team or just any individual to know you weren’t alone. The sun was still bright and the heat was stifling. You needed to pace yourself or else you would be stranded with no one to help you if you passed out from heat exhaustion or dehydration. You decided to take a break and sat down on the closest pile of rubble by your feet. Suddenly a hand wrapped around your ankles and it startled you. The scream you let out was earsplitting, to say the least. 

“Kid you’re gonna kill me off with that scream alone.”

The raspy and strained voice you heard was too familiar for it to be a coincidence. You turned and dropped to your knees without any hesitation and were presented with the sight of Keegan with half of his body covered under a pile of wreckage leftover from the explosion. Your body went into immediate panic mode and started to push away the rubble piece by piece. Keegan reached out and tried to stop you, but you were too caught up in trying to help him out.

“Just hold on, I'll get you out and then I’ll patch you up in the meantime until evac comes and then we can properly get you taken care of!.” You began to speed up your movements and this time he clutched your wrist. His grip was so much softer than what you were used to and it pulled you out of your panicked frenzy.

“Doll I’m done for you just gotta leave me here. I’m bleeding out as we speak and even if I do survive this I’m paralyzed from the waist down. I’m not useful either way.” He gave you a soft smile and tears started to well in your eyes. “Keegan you can’t expect me to just leave you here!” You started to tremble from your sobs. You were at a loss as to what to do after hearing Keegan’s words. There was no way you could leave Keegan here he was your everything. He was the one who kept you grounded when missions got to be all too much for you. 

“Just keep me company until my last moments, doll, it’s all I ask for.” He grasped your hand and rubbed his thumb soothingly across your knuckles. The sobs started to come out even harder as you finally came to accept that this was the end. You slid down onto your stomach and just stared at Keegan. You couldn’t bring yourself to even say anything. He craned his neck and placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. “I love you, kid, don’t ever forget it, and don’t forget about me.” His hands were trembling more and his skin was getting paler and paler and the sun started to set. You wailed and let all the tears flow out as you watched his life gradually leave his body. You couldn’t bring yourself to sleep, you stared at the stars with your body curled up next to Keegan’s corpse just hoping that you could be taken away soon enough to meet with Keegan once again.

[deathofacupid]

my peter | peter parker

takes place during no way home, tw: cursing maybe, mentions of suicide

i dont i remember the movie, and i couldn't pull it up so enjoy this made up script that loosely follows that plot with multiple time gaps :)

ghostspider!reader (yall the ghostspider was researched for like 15 minutes and i have the most vague understanding of it)

summary: you end up in peter's world... just not your peter's. (takes place during no way home.)

word count: 2.0k-ish words

i didn't know how i ended up here. on second i was there... and then... i wasn't.

i remember falling, i think. from something tall? a building. yeah, a building. no. we were- we were on a clock tower? at the top. and the last thing i remember is a gunshot. shot directly at my webs-wings...?

i was falling, and then i wasn't.

i pulled myself up against the wall of the dark alleyway, shivering as the cold air wrapped itself around me, sending goosebumps down my skin. i simply couldn't remember how i'd gotten here, and it was killing me. i staggered out, my vision blurry. i hovered my hand in the air, faint blue sparks crackling.

my eyes widened when i heard loud honking, and bright lights seared into my line of sight. i opened my mouth to scream, but suddenly a blur of blue and red swung by me, and then my feet weren't in the ground. i buried my nose into the neck of whoever it was, and it only took one thing to figure out who it was.

his smell. he smelled like love and pinewood and all the sweet things. and as creepy as it probably sounded, he smelled distinct, like home. he was home.

he was peter.

even after he'd set me down somewhere, i still let my arms linger for a moment longer. or two.

"uh, ma'am? i-"

my eyes glazed over, because here he was. here was peter. but how? wasn't he dead? my peter was dead, right?

"peter, love, is- is that you? how-... oh my god. i- i thought you were dead- you have no idea how happy i am to see you. i'm actually going crazy, aren't i? you wouldn't believe it. because one second, i'm on the clock tower and then you're here and i'm in an alley. what happened?"

he was stuttering, and clearly struggling to piece together a sentence. "w-who's peter? i'm not- i'm not peter," peter said, laughing nervously.

"can you not, babe? i'm in a dilemma. like, dilemma dilemma. no joking right now. like... you're here. right now. in front of me... but... you're dead."

"i'm not peter, and not dead." he added.

"hon, we've literally been over this. i know you're spider-man. remember when i walked into you changing out of the suit? because, like, not to brag, i knew something was up."

"look, lady, i've got no idea who you are, but you need to chill. i don't know who you think i am, but i'm certainly not him. please let me take you home, or to your asylum, or wherever it is that you live."

"pete, this isn't funny."

"yeah, i get that. and i'm not peter."

"yes, you are. you're peter parker, age nineteen, you live with your aunt, and you swing around in speedos all day for fun. i think i know who my fucking boyfriend is, all right? now tell me what's going on, like, right now."

he was speechless, and i took that as an opportunity to rip his mask off his face, causing him to yelp in shock. i could see anger knitted onto his eyebrows, and tucked fiercely behind his eyes. "what the hell-!"

in every way possible, he was peter benjamin parker. except one.

i ran my thumb over his left cheekbone, brushing the spot gently.

my peter parker had a scar across that part of his skin, and i knew that because i kissed him there every morning. right? ...right?

so what on earth was going on?

"you- you don't..." i took a half step back, and i knew he said something, but i couldn't hear him. my heart was thudding so loudly in my chest, i could hear it in my ears. when i turned around, i saw a large building, and on it was a giant "a", lit up and shining like a christmas tree.

since when was that there? since when was...?

and the more i looked, the more i could pick things out. many, many things. like the fact that there was a delmar's? as far as i knew, that didn't exist. it didn't... it wouldn't- but then what was i looking at? what was happening?

my head was aching, and it felt like the migraine i had would kill me.

fuzzy images swirled around in my brain, pressed towards the back of my head.

"-under arrest."

"she can't-"

screaming.

"-murdered harry-"

"he tried to-"

"-killed peter.

"peter-... suicide-"

"no-"

fuzzy again.

more screaming.

"-doesn't justify her actions-"

"she-"

god, the screaming. it was drilling itself into my head, burning into my memory. and it wouldn't stop. it wouldn't- wouldn't stop.

peter was dead. harry was dead. and i was wanted for- no. no, no, no, this couldn't be happening. i was- i-

i took another step forward and i felt the the floor behind me disappear. only then did it hit me that i was on the high piller of a big bridge. i heard a thwip behind me. and i was pulled back, my back hitting something. tilting my head up, i saw peter's (was it even him?) confused expression, before it morphed into something of understanding. like he knew somthing i didn't.

"you're right. i am peter parker. but i'm not your peter parker. i, uh, i'm not really sure how to explain it, but this isn't your universe."

"i- i don't-"

"i know, i know. i can help you, but only if you trust me. can you do that?"

i didn't even comprehend the fact i was nodding, because not even a second later, i was holding onto him for dear life and swinging.

-

things had happened (not many) since i'd met him. met? was that the right word? because i'd met him before, and god, i'd done a little more than just love him. but i think this was different. maybe because i... i was in a different universe? multiverse? he tried to explain it to me, but my brain still hadn't caught up.

also, i cried.

a lot.

and then i stopped. because my tear ducts were dead, and it didn't feel real. so i ignored anything that had already happened, and focused on what was about to happen.

everything was hazy, and i couldn't figure it out.

for some reason, being near this peter made me feel safe. because he looked the same, talked the same, and acted the same. i pulled his hands to me, holding them in mine. my lips were pressed in a thin line, and my eyes were watering, briming with tears.

he could tell i was scared. i think he was, too, because he didn't let go. he stayed by me.

when would i go home? go back to peter? not any peter, my peter. was i even going to get to go home?

i wasn't alone here. we were in some... basement? it doesn't matter. anyways, there were other people. three were in some weird cell thing, and there was a boy, maybe around peter's age, talking to another man.

he was tall and had a fancy looking cape around him that i could only wish i had. he was awesome, i decided.

"hey, uh, girl," he nodded towards me, and on instict i sat up a little straighter. "do me a favor, yeah?" he asked me, but i got the sense that it was rhetorical, so i didn't answer. "go- go stand over there," the man squinted and pointed his finger toward a small corner, secluded slightly."

"dr. strange?" peter inquired, "what are you-"

"uh-bup-bup-bup. no talking, spiderling."

i made brief contact with the curly hair boy and dropped my hands, standing up to do what he was saying. at this point, i'd figured that it was better not to question cape guy. but the second i got there, i hear a whoosh of air behind me. turning around, i saw that they were trapped in the same translucent cage.

"hey!" peter yelled, "what the fuck did you do? does it look like she's of any harm at all?"

i paused. they weren't in it. i was. sucking in a breath, i stumbled backwards, hitting the wall. i just wanted to go home. i didn't ask for this. i didn't ask for any of this. i just wanted to go home. to peter. to my peter.

"what's the point, anyways?" strange retorted. "she can't go home, now can she? and she sure as hell can't stay here."

peter didn't say anything, so strange continued. "she's gonna die, peter, and there's nothing we can do." he looked at me, "i'm sorry."

"no," i murmured, so quietly i was suprised to hear myself. "you aren't sorry. don't shit yourself. you don't care. and why would you? this doesn't concern you, you selfish bastard."

"she can stay here," ned piped up. "with us. s-she can help us- an-and..."

"yeah!" peter exclaimed. my heart beat a little faster then.

strange sighed and shook his head, "i don't think you understand the consequences-"

"so what do i do then? go ahead, enlighten me. take her home to die? because, yeah, that makes me a great hero."

"kid, it's not about-"

"she's staying. she's helping us send them home... and then- and then she can stay." he looked over at me, "you do want to stay, right?"

i shrugged. what was left at home for me anyways? death row? maybe i could have a fresh start. here, with... peter. could he be my peter?

"yes. i do."

"then it's settled, let her out," ned declared.

-

pete and i were outside, on the roof. we weren't talking, but the silence between us was enough. i lit small blue sparks in my hand, playing with them. it was nice. it was comforting.

"so, uh- woah. that- that's awesome!"

i looked over at him. "huh? oh. yeah. i'm like you, but not."

he looked confused, so i took it upon myself to elaborate.

"well, you're spider-man. i'm- i'm ghost spider. long story. don't wanna go into it."

"it's okay. i can't do that. i can stick to walls," he grinned, making me snicker.

"oh, what a skill."

"how'd you get here?" peter asker, once the giggles died down.

i sucked in a breath, "harry osborne? i don't think you have one. he was my peter's best friend. got into an argument because harry was sick and he needed peter's blood to... i dunno, heal? get better? anyways, peter wouldn't give it to him because of the possible effects his blood could have, because of the spider bite."

he nodded, signaling me to continue, "harry pulled some crazy shit, turned into a crazy flying green man... and... he killed my peter." my voice cracked towards the end.

"i- i'm so sorry."

"it's okay. harry made it look like a suicide, but i knew. i knew and that was enough. harry owed oscorp, which is like the stark industries. who's gonna pin it on a rich white man? no one. i guess i had enough... and i killed him. the world found out and they all wanted ghost-spider dead. so... yeah. i don't really remember how exactly, but i fell from a clock tower. i know that if i tried, i could've saved myself. but i- i didn't want to."

"i'm sorry." he said again, because what else was there to say? "i lost my... you."

"what?"

"my mj. strange says there's a version of every person in every alternate universe. mj was you. i couldn't save her."

"that's the worst part of this job. you can't save the ones that matter the most."

"yeah," he murmured solemnly.

"i'm glad that if i'm stuck here, i'm stuck here with you."

he smiled, dropping his head onto my lap, and i quietly played with his hair.

-

"oh my god. we did it. we- we did it!"

"yeah," he said quietly.

"oh, peter, i'm so, so, so sorry. about- about all this. about may, and about the whole world, well, except me, forgett-"

"it's okay," peter smiled softly, pulling me close to him. "because... at least i got something good out of it," and with that, i'm proud to say, he kissed me.

yes, we were still grieving. but it would be okay. because we'd do it together.

my peter.

[clowningaroundmars]

prowlerbyte hcs

ok..... yall got me. you did. i ship prowlerbyte now 😅 and i'd like to throw out some Thoughts about them bc damnit if this ship doesn't have some Flavor to it that i'd like to share with you all 🤌

both margo and miles g here are from earth 42 tho bc i think miles g has been thru Enough and he deserves someone in his corner in his own universe, besides his family members

LOTS of words under the cut ↓

♡ weirdgirl nerd x edgyboy nerd 100%… you just KNOW IT. miles is absolutely a geek either for comics or anime and he only opens up to his closest friends to let them see that side of him, no one else. margo brings that side out of him often when they meet up (but miles is still p reserved if anyone else is with them)

♡ margo is a fantastic singer and hums mind-blowing runs as easily as she breathes and miles absolutely loves it. when she's depressed, she sings a lot less so whenever she DOES sing that's how he knows she's in a good mood. he loves having her over bc he gets to pull out uncle aaron's old secondhand record player and place rnb and 90's hiphop vinyls on it, playing soulful music that she hums to as they parallel-play or do homework together

♡ when margo first convinced miles to let her do his hair, he was hella worried that his mom would disapprove and chastise him once she saw but she was surprisingly very supportive of it, although a bit hesitant. eventually she was grateful she didnt have to braid her son's hair as often (being a single parent is exhausting enough lol)

♡ rio42 ofc had the same reaction to margo as rio1610 when she 1st met gwen, but when margo eventually started showing up more and more to hang out with the morales fam (and aaron too lol), she grew on rio. they both keep a close eye on miles and try to keep him going towards the right path

♡ in their universe they both go to visions and even have a class together, and they are both very very academically competitive. rio doesn't need to stay on miles' ass about his grades bc margo is right there taunting him with an A+ on a test every single time

♡ they actually ACTUALLY study together in the library or in miles' room during study sessions. neither of them can afford to fall off wrt their grades and they both have big dreams they wanna achieve: margo wants to become a hardlight technician and apply for oscorp (much to miles' chagrin), and miles wants to continue his engineering and robotics career so he can provide for his whole family

♡ margo's parents constantly fighting means she is often over at miles' house more than he is at hers. it actually took her an embarrassingly long amount of time to finally invite him over because she never wanted her parents to know he even existed, let alone actually meet him at all. miles was at first kinda offended she didn't want him to meet her parents even after they got together but when he heard them arguing in the background during a call one day, he finally Understood

♡ after he found out about her crappy home life (and also secretly told rio), she was welcome to stay more often at his place. she has a blanket, a few clothes and several diff books and console games lying around in his room

♡ it honestly also took them both a ridiculously long time to finally start dating. everyone around them shipped them but they remained friends for a long time bc miles was just too closed off and scared to let anyone into his private life like that. also i hc they are both on the ace spectrum but don't realize it until later (listen i see purple characters and i HAVE to wave the ace wand on them ok 😭)

♡ margo is sometimes frustrated at miles for being so secretive and hiding his emotions behind walls, as goofy and dorky as he can be. she wishes he would just come out and be more honest about his feelings but understands that after his dad's passing, its harder for him to communicate his emotions

♡ she was the one who asked him out first, actually. he was beating around the bush way too much and so she finally put her foot down and initiated the relationship

♡ in public or with strangers they are: sunshine x sunshine protector. in private or with family n friends they are: "EXCUSE ME! miles asked for no pickles ☝️" esp since margo is the extrovert and he's the introvert.

♡ miles is actually p jealous and protective of margo and she finds that hilarious.

"i don't need any protecting, babe. i am a certified badass," margo says, flipping her box braids.

miles laughs, winding boxing wraps around his hands and standing in front of his giant punching bag. he looks over at his girlfriend sitting on a bean bag, with her adorable kitten t-shirt and fluffy sweater and grins even wider. "yeah… aight, sure thing."

margo scoffs, noticing his line of sight and looking very offended. "i may look cute and unassuming but that's exactly what i want our enemies to think! it gives me an advantage!"

miles hums, nodding. "mhm. advantage to do what, exactly?"

margo throws an empty soda can at him, which miles easily dodges as he laughs harder.

♡ it's funny, bc on the outside they seem like the stereotypical traditional straight relationship with a macho boy and sweetheart girl. but in reality they're both sarcastic snippy geeks who can both throw down in any verbal argument. and miles adores his gf, he's completely whipped for her. lets her paint his nails and everything, and if anyone tries to make fun of him for it, he doubles down and threatens to fight them over it

♡ they are THAT couple that wears lowkey matching outfits every once in a while. they actually enjoy shopping together which was a relief for both of them bc miles LIVES just to go sneaker shopping and margo absolutely loves trying new things on in the dressing room. theyre also both fashionistas in their own ways and love to accessorize. they swap accessories a lot

♡ whenever they hit up a bookstore, they are the first to head right on over to the manga section. right afterwards, they make a beeline over to the science fiction section and compare their purchases together after leaving

♡ miles is absolutely the "idc what my girl wears bc i know how to fight" boyfriend. margo doesn't go out in revealing outfits or anything, but looking a little TOO adorable in a dystopian city can sometimes paint a target on your back and so miles makes sure she's with him at all times if she wants to put her braids up into heart buns or wear a dress outside

♡ any hardware or mechanical problem that margo has, she takes it straight to miles. miles takes any software or coding issues he has to margo. if those software issues have anything to do with his prowler gear, however… he tries to isolate the issue and explain in vague terms what the problem is to avoid telling his gf he's actually the prowler

♡ no, he has not revealed to margo that he is the prowler yet. he's terrified to see her face when she inevitably finds out anyways, just KNOWING it would doom their relationship to a breakup if she ever figured it out. he does everything in his power to keep her from finding out his secret, even if it means disappointing her when he misses out on dates they set together

♡ they are both total champions at whatever multiplayer video game they get hooked onto. their personal faves are mmorpgs and battle royale games, but they are UNBELIEVABLY competitive when it comes to party games and even board games. they absolutely wipe the floor if they get to team up together

♡ tbqh they're the EXACT level of nerdy that they would consider playing video games in their separate homes as a date. "mmorpg and chill babe?" miles texts margo sometimes as a joking way to ask her on an online date. every minute they spend on voicechat as they kick digital ass together counts as quality time for sure

♡ even tho she's kind of embarrassed about it, margo has an absolutely huge plushie and figurine collection. she was worried miles would judge her SUPER HARD for her lowkey (highkey) special interest in anime figures when he 1st came over to her room, but immediately felt relieved when miles practically flew up to a rare figure she got secondhand from a japanese seller online and started ooohing and aaahing about it

♡ he actually tries to put aside whatever he earns prowling around the city for his mom first. then whatever's left over goes right to margo. he likes taking her out shopping and letting her pick out two or three things and seeing her beam like a sunrise before giving him a kiss on the cheek

♡ miles tries to hide his prowling behind the excuse of getting a job with his uncle at the family auto shop. every time he has a job to do or needs to leave suddenly, he blames it on "an emergency/new car job at the garage". margo eventually starts hating the word "garage"

♡ get either of these 2 to start talking abt their special interest, and it will be like Infodump City in there in 2 secs flat. they listen to each other's infodumping with hearts in their eyes, ESPECIALLY miles. margo goes "hey can i just rant to you about my new interest rq" and he goes "yes ma'am 🥰"

♡ everyone thinks margo is the one who cooks and cleans but hell no. miles is a neat freak whose room is the total opposite of margo's and he spends a lot of time alone at home when his mom is working a double shift and his uncle is out trying to secure another job for them. he knows how to cook like a damn chef by the time he's 16 (and also rio42 is not a toxic boymom. she will not raise any lazy needy son, her boy WILL know how to do laundry, cook meals and wash the damn dishes!)

♡ margo on the other hand tries to avoid the kitchen as often as possible and gets panic attacks when having to clean anywhere else but her own room bc of bad memories of having to sweep up broken glass after hearing her parents have violent fights that left the apartment in tatters. she never got to learn how to cook bc they never taught her, either

♡ margo is actually p traumatized from her parents' constant hateful fighting that she tries to squash down or hide behind a confident mask. but sometimes it pops up in ugly ways like when miles accidentally slams a cupboard door too loudly or a sarcastic comment sounds a little too bitter. her knee-jerk reaction is to always distance herself from miles a bit as a coping mechanism, which they had to work through

♡ miles' own grief and loss traumatized him beyond belief too ofc. after his dad's passing, his anxiety grows and he becomes more withdrawn, easily tired, and forgetful. it becomes worse after he becomes the prowler, bc dipping into the NYC underworld every so often gives p much anyone a healthy dose of paranoia. plus it takes some time away from his gf on top of all of that.

♡ if they're ever at parties or get-togethers at all, its always margo initiating conversations and meeting with people, making introductions and chatting happily. she always happens to have a quiet, chill miles-shaped shadow with her the whole time

♡ if margo was going to date miles, he told her one time, she was GOING to learn how to dance bachata and salsa. throw in a lil reggaeton in there as they get older and rio becomes a TINY bit more chill with seeing them on the dancefloor. they actually become much better at dancing together as they practice at family reunions and birthday parties

♡ miles carries around plush keychains and other trinkets that remind him of margo. he's a total sap when it comes to her, even if he tries to hide just how much he loves her sometimes. his phone's lockscreen is something dark or aesthetic like a city skyline or whatever but then when he unlocks it, margo is always his wallpaper

♡ aaron likes margo, he really does. he worries that miles doesn't have enough friends but he's happy that his nephew has a gf that is genuinely good for him. they all have a great time together whenever they do get downtime to chill together, like playing cards or helping aaron clean the garage

♡ that being said, aaron loves to pretend to sabotage their relationship as a running joke and watch miles get all riled up about it. it is hilarious to him, never gets old.

they're giving the garage connected to the autoshop its bimonthly deep clean just ahead of the yearly inspection.

it's a sunday, the only day of the week that the shop is closed for business and miles is on corner duty once they get down to the concrete floor. he's tasked with using the short hard brush attached to a long wooden handle to scrub the dust and grime out of the neglected corners. margo is scrubbing the middle with a much bigger sturdier widebroom, and aaron--being the tallest ofc-- has the duster on an extendable handle, swiping through the metal rafters and high shelves.

he notices miles struggling a bit with a mysterious stain in one corner, repeatedly attacking it before finally crouching down to shove the brush even harder against the floor with his hands.

aaron casually sneaks backwards and catches margo's attention with a smirk and a point of his chin. she swings her gaze around to her slightly frustrated boyfriend crouched down into a corner and starts giggling.

aaron grins as he suddenly says, "so yeah, thats why i got miles here on corner duty, usually. y'know being a little guy and all, he can do all that that someone as tall as me can't really do anymore yanno what i'm sayin? he's real good in those small spaces. that's why i'm up here, dustin' these rafters."

scandalized, miles springs back up with a "hey!!" and a withering glare shot their way. margo bursts out laughing.

♡ miles is the little spoon and margo is the big spoon, fight me abt it. his fave cuddling position is actually when his arms are wrapped around her and her cheek is laid against his head. otherwise, he loves his weighted blanket, and margo loves her warm mattress ♡ when they're home alone and on the couch watching movies, his back is usually to her side as he half-lays on her, using her arm as a pillow

♡ margo is def not a sports kind of girl but she tries for her bf. he and aaron are very much into basketball which she tries to keep up with just to join in on their convos. she always attends miles' boxing matches tho, ofc. she actually likes watching boxing matches in general! aaron gives her some old tapes of his own matches when he was younger and that's how margo gets into televised mma fights and ufc. she's always cheering for miles the loudest in the audience

♡ miles actually uses margo sometimes in his workouts. the proudest day of his life was when he was able to have margo laying on his back as he did pushups, and he made it to 10 before tiring himself out. she's the one holding his feet down as he does sit-ups and ab crunches. she tries to join in on his workouts too, and gets p good with the speedbag relatively quickly!

♡ miles-- being the paranoid guy he is-- happens to be the one to teach margo all of the effective self-defense moves. she thinks he's always exaggerating the danger out on the streets but she can't lie sometimes; whenever she's out past sunset with her keys in between her knuckles, she's just a TINY bit glad that miles taught her how to escape a rear chokehold

♡ margo is the soc media girl who is embarassingly online and posts about anything and everything of her life. new website coded? met a stray cat on her way over to miles'? bought a new manga? invented a cool gadget? they always show up in her followers soc media feed. she tries to get miles to pose for pics with her but he's mostly content to just be the guy behind the camera tbh. his own soc media account is pretty boring and bare since he rarely ever posts. he's got other things on his mind, errands to run

♡ the one and only time margo has ever seen miles cry was right after his dad died. the whole neighborhood got the news and she ran straight over to miles' apartment the minute she could. they climbed into his bed (the only time rio didn't reprimand them for it) and he just sobbed his heart out while they held each other for a real long time. she brought over homework and notes when he stayed home from school to recuperate

[coryocurlsss]

a list of all the songs i desperately need coryo or snowbaird or lucy gray edits to🤗🤗 feel free to take any of these ideas and make them edits❤️

- the greatest- lana del rey

- “those nights were on fire, we couldn’t get higher, we didn’t know that we had it all, but nobody wants you before the fall, and i’m wasted, don’t leave i just need a wake up call, i’m facing the greatest, the greatest loss of them all” the greatest loss being lucy gray 🙏🙏pls see the vision

- how did it end- taylor swift

- “say it once again with feeling how the death rattle breathing silenced as the soul was leaving the deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling my beloved ghost and me, sitting in a tree dying, it’s happening again, how did it end? i can’t pretend like i understand, how did it end? come one come all it’s happening again, the empathetic hunger descends” this is coryo being in denial for killing sejanus and lucy gray, ik there’s not much for lucy gray but i can really see the sejanus part

- nectar of the gods- lana del rey

- “i used to dream about people like you, now i don’t know why, i used to sing about people like you now i just get high, i get wild on ya baby, wild and fucking crazy like you never knew, knew, knew, i get wild on ya baby, i get wild and fucking crazy.” lucy gray one for sure, “i used to dream about people like you” and “i used to sing about people like you” cmon that’s lucy gray with snow fr

- violets for roses- lana del rey

- “you made me trade my violets for roses, you tried to trade in my new truck for roses, don’t forget all of these that you love are the same things i hate, the simple life, i chose this” “ever since i fell out of love with you i fell back in love with me, and boy does it feel sweet, like a summer breeze” another lucy gray, this is everything i need in life, snow trying to get her to come to the capitol but she likes the simple life in 12!!

- fuck it i love you- lana del rey

- the end part, where she’s singing fuck it is love you and under it is “california dreaming got my money on my mind” yall know the vibes for sure

- honeymoon- lana del rey

- “there are violets in your eye, there are guns that blaze around you” “we both know the history of violence that surrounds you, but i’m not scared, there’s nothing to lose now that i’ve found you” or the “dreaming away your life” part, it would be a serve, trust

- freak- lana del rey

- “ooh, you’re cold as ice, baby, but when you’re nice, baby, you’re so amazing in every way, ooh, you’re cold as ice, baby, i don’t want to fight, baby, it’s like i told you, if you stay, i’ll stay,” honestly i just love this song

- california- lana del rey

- “you’re scared to win, scared to lose, i heard the war was over if you really choose, the one in and around you, you hate the heat, you got the blues, changing like the weather, oh that’s so like you, the santa ana moves you” pls this makes so much sense in my head, UGH PLS UNDERSTAND WHAT IM THINKING HERE

- get free- lana del rey

- i don’t think i need an explanation, listen to the song, look at the lyrics, think about it. you’ll see the vision i hope.

- fucked my way up to the top- lana del rey

- i just think he would eat in a edit to this song, no further comment.

- if you lie down lie with me- lana del rey

- “don’t say you’re over me, when we both know that you ain’t” “dance me all around the room, spin me like a ballerina super high, dance me all around the moon, light me up like the fourth of july, once, twice, three times the guy i, ever thought i would meet don’t say you’re over me, when we both know that you lie” either lucy gray or snow, pls i see the vision and i desperately need to hear this song more i love it sm

- wildflower wildfire

- “Hot fire, hot weather, hot coffee, I'm better with you, It's strange, but it's true, darling, Not to turn into a wildfire, To light up your night, With only my smile and nothing that burns, Baby, I'll be like a wildflower, I live on sheer willpower, I'll do my best never to turn into something, That burns, burns, burns, Like the others baby, burns, burns, burns” once again, snow or lucy gray i just know this would be such a fire edit

- forward beckon rebound- adrianne lenker

- that trend with the “villain and violent, infant and innocent, baby both arms cradle you now”

- heroin- lana del rey

- “it’s fucking hot, hot! winter in the city, Somethin' 'bout this weather made these kids go crazy, (It's hot) even for February, Somethin' 'bout this sun has made these kids get scary” i love this song and my explanation for why i want a snow edit to it is because i love this song.

- without you- lana del rey

- i don’t hear this song on edits enough for songbirds, i need more

- false god- taylor swift

- that would be deadly, i would pass away if i saw a snow edit to false god

- summer bummer- lana del rey(feat asap rocky

- WHY HAVENT I SEEN A SNOW EDIT TO THIS SONG, I NEED THAT MORE THAN I NEED AIR!!

- after midnight- chapell roan

- I JUST NEED THAT, OKAY?

- so it goes and dress- by taylor swift

- ik there’s plenty of snow edits to these songs but i need more, i just do.

- serial killer- lana del rey

- pls this is snow fr don’t play bitch

- cruel world- lana del rey

-LISTEN TO THE SONG, YOU WILL SEE THE VISION TRUST!!!

[delormarigold]

Disappearing highway writing 1

i hope yall like this writing :-)

CW : mentions of death, blood, drug usage (weed)

Taylor and Chris pulled into the small parking lot, where the faded paint lines were barely visible against the cracked asphalt. She sighed and glanced at the clock on her dashboard.

“Maybe 6:00 a.m. is too early,” Taylor muttered anxiously, biting her nails. The early morning fog covered the area, enveloping everything in darkness. The scattered leaves on the ground were covered in the morning dew.

“Are you sure this is the right place, Chris? Because I swear if it’s not and I have to knock-“

“Yeah no Taylor don’t worry this is probably like definitely it man” Chris looked out the window of the car. He wasn’t looking at anything.

“Wha- why are you talking like that? Are you nervous?” Taylor said bluntly. Chris shifted in his seat but didn’t turn around. “I mean a little bit but like that’s normal, you know what I mean.” He turned around to look at her. “What if he doesn’t believe you, you know?”

Taylor stared at him in silence, Chris was equally quiet. His eyes were completely blank.

“Well…” Taylor turned to the apartment. “Uhm… I didn’t think that far ahead…” She turned back to Chris, he looked worried. “Well, too late now!” He passed through the car. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Okay, I'm coming. But let's set some ground rules okay?” Chris looked at her listening intently.

“First, no possession. You know you have a hard time controlling it, and it's painful in general. Second, don't mess with the lights or anything. Third, conserve your energy. We don't want that to happen again. Understand? Good.”

“Got it.” Chris said with a smile. Taylor would look back down at the phonebook clipping.

South Greenwood apartment complex.

Taylor looked at the apartment, it was small and couldn't have had more than 100 rooms. It looked old and dingy. The stairs were rusted in places and looked like it could break if more than 10 people were on it.

“This feels more like a motel than an apartment…” Taylor mumbled to herself, shoving the paper back into her pocket. Watching the steps closely to make sure she didn't trip. Taylor took a deep breath.

Room 60. Rodney Steven. God this better be the right room number I had to ask around for this dumb thing.

Knock Knock Knock

There was no response.

“Is he not home?” Chris said, leaning his head through the door.

“Chris!” Taylor reached out to grab his arm, but her hand passed right through it.

“Okay okay sorry!” He said backing back out and putting his hands up.

“...Hello…?”A quiet voice spoke up from the other side of the door. “Who is this?”

“Uh- This is Taylor I need to ask you a few questions. Do- I mean- shit, did you know a Chris?”

The door opened slightly, revealing a man in his early twenties of average height. He was wearing square glasses and had brown eyes, with long, curly ginger hair that went down to his shoulders. He was wearing a sublime t-shirt with basketball shorts and appeared as though he had just woken up. His apartment looked like a mess, with dirty clothes strewn about, and it also reeked of weed. Taylor recoiled from the smell.

“Kid, there are a bunch of Chris’s here I need a last name…” He said rubbing his eyes.

Taylor was taken aback. She never knew Chris’s last name or his real name for that matter. That was just a name that he came up with. Taylor itched the back of her head beginning to sweat. “I don't know his last name… uhhh… You two dated back in high school?”

Rodney's eyes widened in disbelief as he shifted uncomfortably on his feet, feeling the awkwardness of the moment. "I still don't know who you're talking about," he said, his voice shaky, failing to conceal the surprise that remained on his face.

Taylor stared at him momentarily, questioning if she should just be honest. “Listen I know this sounds insane but there is this ghost attached to me and in some type of vision type thing, and he remembers you of all people so just please help us.”

Rodney choked and spluttered, “What… what are you talking about?!” His voice cracked as he coughed. “It’s too early for this damn shit… What are you talking about?” His eyes were wide, filled with confusion.

Taylor begged. “Please, please just give me a minute! I promise I can prove it, you’re Rodney Stevens right?” Taylor exclaimed, pointing at his face.

Rodney stared at her, completely bewildered. He looked away, mumbling something under his breath, and shook his head. “Okay. fine.” He moved Taylor's finger out of his face. “You got 5 minutes max to prove this “ghost shit” is real, I got work in 30. He crossed his arms and pushed the door open. Taylor walked inside seeing the true extent of the clutter. Every light but the oven hood was off. She could hear the soft mumble of the morning news.

“Where can I sit?” Taylor glanced over at Rodney, who was busy attempting to make some space. “Uhm,” He rubbed the back of his neck. “The table is fine I guess… So like… Are we gonna summon something or like what?”

“What? No, I'm just going to talk for him,” Taylor said, moving the empty take-out boxes off the chair to make some space. Rodney lit a joint, and she glared at him, rolling her eyes.

“So, like,” he said, taking a long drag from the joint and exhaling a cloud of smoke. “If he is like a ghost why can't he just possess you and stuff? That would prove it right?” Rodney said, turning on the light above the table and sitting down. Taylor rolled her eyes. “Because it hurts like hell, it feels like being electrocuted.” She leaned back in her chair. “Plus, Chris is such an idiot he can't even do anything” She muttered. “Ugh, where even is he?” She realized she hadn't seen him since she walked in. “Chris?”

“I can’t see anything in this stupid pitch-black room…” Taylor said, squinting her eyes.

“I’m right behind you Taylor.” Chris stood over her grinning, Taylor let out a yelp.

“This chick is a fucking freak man,” Rodney said under his breath taking another hit. Taylor scoffed at him.

“You know I can hear you.”

“Yeah, I know…” he said, putting his feet up on the table and exhaling smoke.

Taylor bit her lip. What a fucking dick… She pulled out her pocket notebook. “Okay,” taking a deep breath. Flipping to a certain page, she looked up at Rodney. “So, how do you know Chris? How did you two meet?”

Rodney took his feet off the table, leaned forward, and squinted his eyes at her. “Oh, I already told you I have no clue who you're talking about. Maybe you could describe him for me? That might jog my memory,” he said sarcastically, taking another long drag of his joint.

Taylor glared at him, her anger noticeable. Then she looked over at Chris, who met her gaze with a sorrowful expression. “I’m sorry I don’t know why he’s such an asshole,” he whispered, offering an apologetic smile.

Taylor sighed. “Well… He has brown hair, He’s white, and uhh wears a beanie all the time and has a blue jacket.”

Rodney's eyes widened as he tried to breathe in, He started to choke. With every cough, smoke came out of his lungs, and his eyes began to water. He rubbed his throat, wiping his eyes with a shaky hand. “What—what did you say? Can you repeat that?” He asked, his voice hoarse.

Taylor rolled her eyes. “White with a brown mullet and a beanie. He’s wearing a dark gray shirt with a darkish blue parka and some jeans.”

Rodney's face was etched with disbelief, and he remained silent. It was clear he was hiding something.

Taylor leaned in her eyes wide and listening. “Does that ring a bell?”

“I—I don’t know…” Rodney said, barely above a whisper. He looked away, staring at the wall and mumbling to himself while rubbing his arm, lost in thought. Turning back to her with a scared expression, he asked, “Do you mean CJ…?”

Taylor squinted at him, then glanced over at Chris, who was leaning in with his head resting on his hands.

“Tell me about CJ. What was he like? How did you two meet, and what kind of relationship did you have? Also, do you know anything about how he died?” Taylor asked, preparing to write down whatever Rodney had to say.

“Well…I think we became friends in high school or something…” He said taking another hit. Taylor realized that half of the joint was already burned off.

He's almost done with the damn thing?!

“We kinda liked the same things and had the same classes n’ stuff… We hung out all the time and smoked while listening to music. He eventually confessed and we hit it off but we had to hide it from everyone, even our parents.” Instead of the happiness that comes from reliving memories, his eyes were filled with disappointment and regret. “He wanted to tell people. He was always so dense. I mean that could ruin our lives. This was 91! He was always so hopeful, that’s what I liked about him.” Rodney smiled. He had tears forming in his eyes.

“Eventually… He started getting really paranoid, which was weird for him. He said he was being stalked. I didn’t believe him, I- I thought it was just paranoia or anxiety, some shit like that.” He took another hit. “He always struggled with that stuff.” He let out a sigh, “I wish I could have done something more to protect him. I wish I would have listened to him.” He continued, his voice beginning to break with tears running down his cheek. “I wish I never told him to come over that night. CJ’s death is all my fault.” Taylor looked up from her notes. Rodney sat there, silently sobbing, his shoulders trembling as tears streamed down his face. She glanced at Chris who looked completely defeated, His face was etched with a deep sadness, and his eyes, dull and lifeless,

Rodney continued, his head still in his hands, his words muffled by his tears. “I was so afraid of everyone finding out I didn’t even go looking for him. I didn’t help at all. They never found his body…” He began mumbling to himself again, wrapping his arms around his body and rubbing his upper arms. Tears streamed down his face as his sobs intensified. His hands tensed up, and his fingers dug into his skin, leaving imprints where his nails pressed deeply into his arms. The light above the table began to flicker, Rodney glanced up at the flickering bulb, confused and sniffled, before turning his gaze back to Taylor. His face was wet with tears and snot. He sniffled. "You should go. I have to get ready," he said, standing up and wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Oh, uh, okay. Thank you for having me,” Taylor replied, rising from her seat and pushing her chair in with a soft scrape. “Come on, Chris.” But Chris remained motionless, lost in thought. “Oh, come on Chris, we need to go!” she urged, her impatience growing. He stood up quietly, looking away and not meeting any of their eyes. Taylor turned to face Rodney outside the doorway.

“Thank you again for listening, sir,” Taylor said with a forced smile. Rodney slammed the door in their faces, The suddenness left them both breathless, Jeez… Taylor and Chris walked back to the car in silence. She started the engine, and after a moment, asked, “Soooo… Did you get your answers, Chris?”

He didn’t respond.

“Chris? You alive in there man?” Still no answer.

I guess I'll start driving home.

“Why didn’t he look for me…” Chris muttered, barely above a whisper.

“What did you say?” Taylor replied, keeping her eyes on the road.

“He said he didn’t come looking for me… why? He said he loved me, but he didn’t even care to look for me.” Chris turned to Taylor, bloody tears streaming down his face.

“Oh my god! You’re crying blood! Are you okay?!” Taylor exclaimed. Chris touched his face, staring at the blood that now coated his fingertips.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, leaning back into his chair. his voice was devoid of emotion, looking utterly vacant.

“Is that what happens when you cry?” Taylor asked, a mix of intrigue and worry in her voice.

“I guess…” Chris mumbled, tears still streaming down his face.

“You’re always full of surprises, I swear,” Taylor said, glancing at Chris, but her words were met only with the steady hum of the engine. The silence stretched between them.

“Do you want to go pick up Ivy? She’s only four minutes away from here,” she suggested, hoping to steer the conversation in a lighter direction.

Still, there was no response from Chris.

“Okay,” Taylor said quietly, leaning back into her seat.

“I’m sorry,” Chris finally sniffled, straightening up. “Yeah, we can pick up Ivy.” He turned his head to look out the window, the scenery blurring past him, His expression was distant as he struggled with his thoughts.

"I'm sorry things didn't go as planned," Taylor said softly, "I'll do my best to make it up to you, I promise."

“Thanks…” Chris replied, wiping the tears from his face, his voice still shaky.

The car ride home was silent, interrupted only by the soft hum of the engine, each moment heavy with unspoken thoughts.

[nightswithkookmin]

I'm replying you here cos your choice of words might rub others the wrong way and get you in trouble when you are already feeling down.

First off, hugs.

Second, I hear you. I understand you are annoyed because he couldn't take 1 second of his time to openly congratulate Jimin yet here he is on live at Jk's house fueling dating rumors amidst Face promotions.

Truth be told, it pisses me off too when BTS don't act civil towards eachother. They are friends sure but they have a professional relationship too and not expressing that professional courtesy towards eachother stirs my anger for real. They are ruining the script ruining the fantasy and vision of friendship I have for them����

But that's a me problem. They don't owe me anything.

They are grown adults free to do whatever they want and express themselves in whatever way they want.

Similarly, you are free to like them or not like them too.

You don't have to force yourself to like something you don't.

I personally prefer Jimin as a bias because I like everything about him. His thoughtfulness, his kindness, his honesty and sincerity, his emotional intelligence, and the fact he tries to be a good human day in day out.

As much as I love Jungkook and the others I can't with the ghetto. I just can't. I would drag the hell out of them, nag and complain all the time when they act insensitivly towards others and without considering the impact of their actions on others. I mean I be dragging Jimin too sometimes so why not others😆

Take Tae for instance not saying shit bout Face for one- oh I'm finna drag him across the parameters of the universe I'm just waiting till the dust settle😌

Is that how soulmates behave towards a soulmate?😒

I like Jimin the most- mehn I'm so sick of this fakey love. FAKE LOVE. fakkey love. FAKE LOVE. I'm so sorry but it's fakkey love. "Cussing in Korean melody"

I'm tired of people paying lip service and not backing up their words with actions I'M SICK OF IT.

You love him, you love him. AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SUPPORT HIM. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE NEEDED ALL PJMS ON BOARD.

WHY YALL BE DISGRACING ME OUT HERE

SO GHETTO AND FOR WHAT

You know what. Imma need you in the boxing ring sir

This is for Jimin.

This is for Jin. Don't think I forgot.

AND ON TOP OF IT ALL HE'S OUT THERE POSTING HIS WOOGA SQUAD AND OTHER PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT

THAT JUST HURT NOT GONNA LIE

Everyday I go on his page I'm holding my breathe cos I know I'm gonna see something that's gonna break mi heart😔

His friendship with Jungkook is the only good thing happening right now for me so you see when you come into my Ask and complain about it I get really confused.

On top of him shitting on my Bangtan friendship goals, vmin lesbian agenda, Taejin senpai you want him to shit on Tae kook too?? Now ma'm💀💀💀💀

I'm more terrified of him deciding not to Bangtan anymore and running off to form a band with his wooga squad 🥴

I already lost one direction I'm not gonna lose BTS😭

The world can't lose BTS😭😭😭😭😭

And we can't have a BTS reunion if the members hate each other or feel disconnected from one another so much they decide they've found their calling else where. I'm terrified Suga and Tae might not want to come back to the group- Don't ask me why. It's just a fear I have. So as much as I hate tuktukkers, I have bigger concerns.

I'm glad to see and hear Jungkook wildcard making efforts to connect with the members. He's initiating contact, inviting them to his place- THAT'S A GOOD THING. IT'S GOOD. IT MEANS THERE'S NO BAD BLOOD AND DRAMA BREWING ANYWHERE.

I'm happy to see Tae showed up with Hobi- Makes me wonder where Park Jimin was and what he was doing and why he didn't show up 👀

We could have had this. JM blocked our blessings 😩

I will miss Hobi for this😔

He's always there for his members when they need him. Such a beautiful human soul.

Guys sometimes lets pause and smell the roses and enjoy the little moments.

Hobi will soon be gone and we might not see him show up in lives like this anymore. If Jk is feeling lonely and he reaches out he might only have Tae to show up for him😔

Now imagine if Tae is gone too😭

Tae might not be doing this for others we wish he would do for, but I think he has since their Solo been a good friend to Jk. And he's been consistent with it. He's always there for him. Perhaps because more than anyone else, he knows and understands whatever JK is struggling with post their Solo announcement.

Jimin used to be like that too you know. I keep saying jm and Tae are very similar in some regards.

And I think this is better than him being snobbish towards Jk and acting passive aggressively towards him or blatantly telling him no like he said he did in soop when Jk asked him out for drinks🥴

Those days were wild.

While I don't think tuktuk are dating, I think they have a very good friendship these days. One that ought to be admired not shit on. We are not tuktukkers. Remember that.

But I take your comments about him doing all this to deliberately fuel drama seriously. I'll look into it. Just know that he's a bit of a troll🤣

If it gets on your nerves so much then it's usually a sign you are being trolled hard🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If not then sis you just might be a hater in which case I can't help you💀

[roxyzwritez]

pearlrose content

wanna see how ive been writing all these episodes? spoiler: it was not written with the intent to be read. but its really cute if you can get past and decipher my writes. (also im not 100% sure i like how i did this. may redo this one.) pls feedback. also @rosenotactuallyquartz i think you may like this ((im sorry abt the near daily tags))

under the cut so dashes don't get flooded

greg wakes up. gets coffee. gets breakfast. sits outside. frown.

rose floats over.

rose: good morning greg!

greg: hey rose.

rose: what's the matter? :(

greg: i was hoping you wouldn't ask.. im not doing great.

rose: why is that?

greg: i thought i'd be so happy that you're back. i thought i'd still be completely in love with you like i was before, but.. i just don't feel it anymore. im sorry.

rose, frown: that's okay, greg. we can be friends. i understand. i disappeared for 14 years- not that long to me, but that's a long time for humans. i understand if your feelings changed. especially with all my.. mistakes… revealed. im just glad you told me.

greg: are you sure? its okay to be upset, rose.

rose: i dont follow human relationship dynamics. im a little sad, sure, but you're still a friend. its not the end of the world.

greg: as long as you're okay.

rose: i am. don't worry about me, greg.

greg: okay.

she looks at him with a smile before flying off back home. she walks in.

tumblr note: im really unsure abt the breakup thing honestly. it feels weird especially how she just instantly goes to pearl. tell me ur thoughts yall!

stv, eatin chaps: hey mom.

rose: hi steven. wheres pearl?

stv: ooooooo-

rose chuckles: oh, stop it.

stv: i think she went to her room. she's been in there a lot recently.

rose: huh. alright, thank you steven.

stv: no problem.

rose goes into pearls room.

rose: pearl?

pearl quickly gets up: y-yes rose? sorry, i didn't know you were coming.

rose floats on over: i would like to talk to you about something.

pearl,😳: o-okay.

rose: i know how you feel about me. but im not entirely sure you understand how i feel about you.

pearl looks away: but- greg.

rose, chuckling: pearl. i talked to him just now, and he told me he doesn't feel that way towards me anymore. and from what i understand about human relationships, being with multiple people is a bit of a problem. ive always loved you, pearl. i knew either this would happen, or he'd… reach his time at some point. this was always going to happen, pearl. i don't need future vision for that.

pearl: i-

rose tacklehugs her to the ground and they roll around happy. pearl happycries

rose: ohh, my beloved pearl. not my pearl, but my beloved pearl. does- does that make sense?- oh my- (starts laughing)

pearl, chuckling softly: i know what you meant, rose.

rose: okay. good. le smoochie

pearl: i love you, rose. so much.

rose: i love you even more.

pearl: no, i do.

rose, chuckling: oh, pearl.

they smile at eachother.

stv: that was the cutest thing i've ever seen in my life.

pearl extremely embarrassed: STEVEN!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE-

rose: pearl, its okay. they're all allowed to know. we don't need to be a secret. besides, garnet probably knows anyway.

pearl: o-okay. but steven please don't do that again.

stv: it was so worth it. i will never forget this.

rose: alright, steven. can me and pearl talk in private again?

stv: aww mann. okay. (leaves)

rose: you don't know how badly i wanted to be with you. always. it hurt that i couldn't be there for you for those years.. trapped in his gem. i wish i could've done something, but i just couldn't. believe me, i tried.

pearl: its okay. its not your fault. you're here now, and that is enough for me. (squeeze hug cry) im sorry for crying so much i cant help it.

rose: let it out, pearl. its okay. (soft hug n comforts back, headpats and otherwise adorable shit)

[mermaidxatxheart]

It’s Always You {4}

A/N: I know it’s been a while. I didn’t think I’d be looking at this story again, but the mood has struck. So here we are. If you guys like my work, please consider reblogging. It’s the best way to share my work with others who might also love it. Comments keep me motivated.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC Ava

Warnings: swearing, sass, mentions of pain and Sam. I love that man. Yall get Sam in scrubs in the next chapter 👀

Summary per chapter: Ava is certain about what she saw in her dream vision. Immediately calling Steve, she explains and suddenly her accident may not have been just an accident. Also Steve is an old man and Sam finds it pretty amusing.

Word Count: 1618

Series Master List

Previous chapter

My eyes flutter open and my whole chest hurts, but it’s not a physical pain-it’s something emotional. Something in my gut tells me Steve would want to know about this. I reach for my phone in the bedside table drawer.

“You’re awake.” Jonathan says from next to me.

I let out a small groan. This asshole again. He just can’t understand ‘stay away’. “Is there any water?” My throat is rough.

“I’ll have to go get some.”

“Please?”

He heaves a little sigh and I’m annoyed at him; it burns low in my belly. He gets up and heads to the door, the plastic pitcher in his hand. As soon as the door clicks shut, I scramble for the phone, every move making my body scream. I find Steve’s number and press send, calling him.

“Hello?” He mumbles after three rings, clearly, he had been asleep.

“Steve? Michael was getting married. We went ring shopping.”

There’s silence for a minute and I keep my eyes trained on the door.

“You remembered?”

“I remember us going ring shopping and I asked him if he gave something to his boss? I think. It’s fuzzy now, but he...” I let out a quiet, frustrated groan. “It was right there, on the tip of my tongue. I can’t remember now.”

“That’s okay. This helps.”

“Can we keep this a secret?” I ask and the door clicks open. I immediately hang up and open a game on my phone, turning it sideways while it loads, like I’ve been playing it the entire time. I turn the ringer off so that in case Steve calls back, Jonathan won’t know.

“I’ve got your water.” He says, coming back in.

“Thank you.”

“What are you playing?” He asks as he pours a small cup for me.

“Some sort of digging game?” I shrug. “It’s really addicting.”

“Yeah, that’s what you said when you downloaded it.” He smiles.

For some reason it makes me really uncomfortable when he keeps referring to the past I don’t remember. I turn the game off and set the phone in my lap. There’s a knock on my door and I look up, hoping to see Steve even though it would have been physically impossible since I literally just hung up on him, but instead it’s his friend, Wanda.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, setting flowers on my bedside table.

“Groggy. A lot sore. So, the usual.”

She’s holding a paper bag in her hand. “Have you been up long?” She asks, sitting on the other side of me.

“Not really. Did you bring me a present?”

She laughs. “I did.” She sets the bag on my bed and I pull out a stack of books.

“Italian.” I smile to myself and stack the books in front of me. “Thanks, Wanda.”

“I thought you might get bored when you’re not busy in rehab.”

“You’re learning Italian?” Jonathan asks, peering at the books.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Does he need minute to minute updates, or what? “Just curious.”

“I was hoping I could speak to you alone, Ava. I have some questions that you might be able to help me with.” She smiles apologetically at Jon and I can suddenly see why Steve keeps her around. She’s smart, and with her astounding good looks, she can get just about anyone to do what she wants.

“Oh. I guess. I’ll just be outside, baby.” He says and I bite back a groan. That fucking word again.

By this point, I get the feeling that Steve and Wanda might do some not so legal things, and I’m tempted to ask her to make Jonathan disappear completely. Not necessarily kill him, but I wouldn’t be sad if he got stranded on a deserted island any time soon. But that might be pushing this tenuous friendship I’m starting.

“What’s up?” I ask, looking at her.

She sits next to me and takes my hand, careful of all the IVs. “Steve called me while I was on my way here. He was worried when you just hung up on him.”

“Oh, someone—" I look pointedly to where Jonathan could be seen on the other side of the glass. “—was coming in, and I didn’t want him to overhear anything.”

“You don’t trust him?”

“At this point, Wanda, I’m not even sure I trust myself.”

“Then, and forgive me if this confuses you, but how do you know if you can trust me, and Steve?”

“Gut instinct? I don’t really know. You guys have been genuinely nice to me. When he’s nice, it feels fake--something forced. I don’t like it, I don’t buy it.”

“He asked me to bring the books since I was going to come by. I wanted to be here when you woke up. Steve’s really sorry he couldn’t come by, he didn’t want to... get you into trouble?” She says, but it’s more like a question, like she isn’t sure she has the phrasing right.

“Wanda, I don’t want to be here anymore.” I say quietly.

“We’re working on it. Just hang tight.” She smiles apologetically. “I have to ask. What did you remember?” She whispers.

“It was a dream just before I woke up. But I know it was a memory. We were going ring shopping. He was going to propose to someone. Kept going on about how she was the one.” I sigh, realizing now how weak it sounds. “I’m sorry it’s not more help.”

“Anything you remember is helpful.” She assures me.

“It seems small but I know it was important.” I frown.

The door opens and another nurse comes in. “Time for PT.” She says brightly.

“I think I’d rather be shot.” I mutter. I seize Wanda’s hand. “Don’t let him follow.”

“I won’t.” She promises. “Jonathan, can I ask you some questions?” I hear her start as I’m led away.

Another hour of torture.

On the bright side, my pain tolerance is increasing.

Steve

“Okay, Shuri, the scans should be sending now.” I say, tapping on the computer screen.

“Captain, it’s not a touch screen.” Shuri’s voice comes over the telephone.

“Oh. I thought everything was these days.”

“Not quite everything.” She’s laughing at me, I know it.

I find the right button. “Okay, now they’re sending.”

“I have them.” She’s silent for a moment before a strange noise sounds—warbled, an animal in pain. It takes me a long second to realize that noise was the Wakandan Princess. “What have they done?! They butchered her!”

“Can you fix it?” I ask.

“She should have been brought to me as soon as the accident happened, Captain. Maybe then she could have been good as new. But this? I can’t undo this. It would do more harm than good.”

“I didn’t get to her as soon as it happened. I only found out about it two weeks after. That’s when Tony contacted me.”

“It would be best if you could get her out of there before they decide she’s better off without a limb.”

“I’ll see what I can do. They just replaced her knee yesterday.”

“They did what?” She shouts.

I flinch at the feedback on my end. “And she has therapy.”

“She can complete her physical therapy here in Wakanda under our supervision. We have better facilities.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Shuri hangs up and I turn to my friend, Sam. “That went well,” Sam says, bemused.

I roll my eyes. “I don’t know how I’m going to get her out of there. Or if it’s even a good idea to move her right now.” I scratch at the back of my head.

“I looked into the guy she mentioned this morning. Michael. Turns out she was right; he bought a ring the week before her accident. I think that before she went into the coma she was trying to tell you that he wouldn’t have killed himself. If that’s the case... maybe her accident wasn’t an accident?”

“In that case, they may come back.” I sigh.

“All the more reason to move her. And that princess sounds terrifying.”

“Shuri’s not...” I hesitate. “Yeah, yeah she is.” I admit. “Anyway, looks like we have a house to break into. We need more information.”

“Finally.” Sam says happily.

***

My phone rings and I yank it out of my pocket to see Shuri’s face on the screen. “This is a really bad time, Princess.” I answer quietly. Taking a phone call while in the middle of breaking and entering is a terrible idea.

“Is she still in the hospital, Steve?” She asks, bypassing all the small talk.

“Yes. I haven’t had time to think of a plan yet.”

“Well, you better think of it quickly. They’re poisoning her.”

I freeze and Sam stops a foot behind me. “What?”

“I’ve just finished looking over her medical charts. Someone has added a medicine that shouldn’t be there. Someone at the hospital is involved.”

“Sam, get Wanda on the phone. Make sure Ava doesn’t take anything they give her. We’re getting her out of there tonight.”

“Not sooner?” He questions.

“If we take her now, people will notice. Nighttime, there’s less people, easier to sneak her out.”

Sam nods and steps away to make the quick phone call. I can hear his rushed whispering behind me.

“We’ve got it covered, Shuri. See you soon.” I hang up at the same time Sam does.

“What is she going to do there? She’ll be bored.”

“She has recovery to think about first. And then it’s up to her; if she wants to train, she can train. I know the perfect person to put her with. But it’s still her decision.”

Chapter five

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[asthesunrisessolow]

How Could You?

Warnings: Fluff, Angst-Fluff, Mean-ish Sokka, Katara mothering as usual, Aang not reading the room, toph being a bad friend, and awkward Zuko, Sokka x reader fluff

Description: When Sokka accompanies Zuko to the boiling rock reader thing it’s a bad idea and when they get back the reader lashes out at sokka for being so reckless

You never expected to hear that. Even from Sokka it hurt. How could he say that.

~Flashback~

" I MEAN EVEN TOPH CAN SEE HOW STUPID THAT IS!!" Sokka yelled viciously as he got off from Appa's saddle.

"SAYS THE ONE WHO CAN'T READ A MAP" I yelled back as I jumped down from the saddle.

I could see Sokka getting angrier by the minute so I stormed off to avoid any more trouble but before I could reach Zuko's abandon vacation house I heard Sokka yell "THATS WHY NOBODY CAN LOVE YOU, I MEAN LOOK WHERE THAT ZUKO AND YOUR DAD-" before he could continue ripping into me Katara stepped in. "SOKKA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, HOW COULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH HER FAMILY AND-". At that point i completely checked out, I never expected for Sokka to bring up such a personal moment. I mean how could he. It hurt so bad, like a pang right to the heart. I just stood in the sand staring into the distance of the island before Zuko came and grabbed my arm gently leading me to the steps up to the house. My vision began to cloud as I froze in front of the steps. "Y/N, Y/N," Zuko repeatedly called my name but it felt like my ears were gonna combust.

~Present~

“You know Sokka earlier, he didn’t mean it like th-“

“Do Not Defend Him!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

“I’m not and I’m sorry you thought that but I just don’t think he understands the impact his words have.” He calmly explained as he hovered over the stove making sure the tea was ready. I silently got up and walked out to the broken piece of the balcony and sighed lightly. I slowly sat on the edge looking into the dusky sky.

“Here you go.” Zuko softly smiled and handed me my tea and sat down with me.

“Im sorry.” I said as I slowly gazed into his eyes.

“I understand, your father is a touchy subject for you considering what happened.” He said as he looked down at his tea towards the end of his sentence. Our silence was interrupted when I heard someone clear their throat behind me. “Can we talk?” Sokka looked down at me. Zuko looked at me for reassurance and I nodded, he then got up and patted Sokka on the shoulder before leaving us to talk. Sokka sat down in Zukos place before starting to talk. “ I’m so so sorry and I never should’ve said anything about your . . . family and it’s just wasn’t fair and I really just need to say I’m so-“ I interrupted Sokka before he could continue his rant. “ I appreciate your apology and I shouldn't have been so worried.” I said as I gazed into his eyes. He looked relieved before leaning in and hugging me. I slowly hugged him back until I heard Aang and Toph. “OOOoooouuUu” I heard both of them saw. I laughed lightly and then got up with Sokka and joined Zuko, Katara, and Aang around the fire place while Toph brought over more tea.

Never knew writing took so much time😓 but here yall go and this is my ATTEMPT at writing lmk how I can get better and pls be nice yall😭

[fandomcrazy]

This is all based on a dream I had that woke me up coughing my lungs out (not related to the dream, I've just been sick the past few days)

Hawks quirk (from mha if it wasn’t clear) being Robyn's quirk

Her apartment is in the sky (like actually I'm not even joking, it's just hanging there by pure magic) and right across from the lecture hall she takes notes from with her super vision (part of the quirk ig)

Steve becomes her roommate

Before she meets steve she's known nancy for a while now

Nancy think steve might not know Robyn's a lesbian but Robyn let's her know that "no yeha I told him everything we've been talking about this hot girl that literally everyone in town knows and how her nose is so perfect and how she's so graceful and-"

"Yes Robyn I get the point" Nancy says.

Steve up until this point just thought they were making conversation and was getting to know his potential date. His world view comes crashing down after only hearing Robyn's side of the conversation with Nancy on the phone.

Steve has a mental quirk so it doesn't outwardly show that much except for the little details around his body. Robyn doesn't know what the quirk is (neither do i honestly) and doesn’t remember to ask. Steve appreciates this and is large bonus to having Robyn as his roommate/friend(?).

Most people don't like going to Robyn's apartment because you need to activate your quirk to get there and you need to be synced up with her security feed, which takes a lot of patience and time to do. Steve feels conflicted about hearing this. On one hand it's good because that guarantees almost no one will be able to get to him here but he has to use his quirk everytime he wants to go home.

Now the rest of the Hawkins gang have all been synced up to the security monitor just in case, except for the quirkless and mutation type quirks but they still have a system for that. Almost everyone asks Robyn once in a while if she can just fly them there instead of them activating probably dangerous or embarrassing or not easily accessible quirks. No one else except robyn in the Hawkins gang has a transmutation quirk until Eddie comes along with bat wings on his back at all times. Robyn are the same in that sense, that they can both fly but Eddie can't exactly fly over large bodies of water and he's not as fast as her. No one is as fast as Robyn everyone in the party has agreed.

Robyn knows what she's capable of. She knows she could easily cheat during tests or quizzes at her university without getting caught but she just. Doesn't want to. She wants to prove to herself that she can accomplish something without resorting to taking the easy way out. If she has to bomb 3/4 of tests she takes than so be it as long as she doesn't get thrown put of the university she doesn't care. She'll work double shifts if it means getting to prove that she can do things herself. (This might or might not lead to her slowly neglecting herself and her needs, needing someone to make her understand spreading herself so thin she can barely hold her wings up in the sky is not proving anything to anyone, especially herself(Steve says all this yall, maybe less eloquently but the point gets across)). Maybe this all started from a young age when her parents expected a lot from her, expected her to solve all their problems for them (maybe financial? Idk) and it just made her more convinced to not do anything for themn, but for herself. And although, at the time, this kind of thinking was healthy, it was not sustainable in the long run after separating herself from them in the future.

Oh uhhh heros and villains don't exist, quirks and criminals exist. There is technology created that stuns a persons quirk factor and makes them immobile (paralyzed) temporarily. This technology was used on Steve as a child to make him more "docile".

I like to give as much angst to characters that I think would look hot being pathetic wet dogs-

Robyn and Nancy end up together obvi (if you didn't catch it up there, Nancy was a little jealous of Robyn talking about someone she might be interested in like that that isn't her (that was literally her who Robyn described but whatever)).

Steve and Eddie

And literally anyone else you want to ship I'm a big elmax or elumax supporter and Dustin being steddie's kid basically

Also why the fuck is nobody talking about the sass potential with Dustin and Erica friendship?? They're like copy paste stobyn but with a different font that makes them roast everyone else instead of each other

Anyway don't take any of this too seriously it only took like 30 minutes (that's a lot fo time holy shit 💀😭😭 I'm a slow writer) and no brain power because, again, I just woke up with a coughing fit that probably made me lose a lung. I should probably check on that.

Anyway, BYEEEEE