#yada yada someone seeing the worst in you and loving you more for it so on and so forth

[violenceofthelamb]

got to give it to will graham if i found out that the only person who truly saw me for the first time in my life turned out to be a vicious and murderous cannibal id probably also just go along with it. like not a bit of me ordinarily but if this is what were doing then ill be right alongside you

[rainystarshower]

Hii, i wanted to request a SFW alphabet with dr ratio like you did with aventurine. Thank you!

SFW Alphabet with Dr. Ratio

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chara : Dr. Ratio

cw : fluff, gn reader, not proofread, slight cussing, is he or is he not mischaracterized let’s find out lads...

a/n : Another Dr Ratio request u guys must love that annoying little pretty guy😭

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-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈✩┈┈┈┈┈𝄞

A — How they show affection 𝄞≛

I think he shows affection in a rather funny yet cute way! He’ll tell you random facts about whatever you like. Such as, if your favourite were an owl — he’d bombard you in cute owl facts he thinks you’d like, just to make you happy and show off how much knowledge he holds about something you love!

B — How they are as a bestie 𝄞≛

He’d be the type to constantly tell you that; ‘this person isn’t worth it’ ‘he’s a horrible person.’ ‘she got so and so wrapped around her finger. definitely someone who exceeds in social status.’ Trying to find your best match! (Hint: it’s him!<3)

C — How they cuddle 𝄞≛

Not a big cuddler, or so he says. He actually enjoys cuddling with you. When you enter the room, he’ll purposely lift his arm that isn’t holding the book — to rest it behind the couch, indicating you come and cuddle with him. To which you happily oblige! He loves cuddling with you, he’ll just never admit it

D — A domestic life with them 𝄞≛

You two ended up merging your schedules together even unknowingly. Oh, Ratio takes baths at this time? You do too now, and you don’t even know it! Oh, you do this at a certain time? So does he, and he doesn’t know it either!! I think having a domestic life with Ratio wouldn’t be the worst

E — Ending the relationship 𝄞≛

He’ll miss you. He’ll definitely think about you more than he’d like or more than he’d even admit. If you cut the relationship off, he’d be irritated for weeks!! Constantly thinking about what he did wrong and why your reason was bullshit! (It wasn’t.) Safe to assume, it’ll take a really really long time for him to get over you. He’ll be direct if he’s the one breaking it off — telling you all the ‘necessary’ points. Either way, he’ll end up longing and missing your presence in his life.

F — How they feel committing with you being their fiancée 𝄞≛

I think he’d secretly be ecstatic! Oh, you’re his fiancée? Maybe he’s a bit worried he won’t be able to satisfy all your needs or maybe that you’ll ask far too much from him, but he buries that all in the back of his head. He’s more than ready to commit to your relationship with him to another level like this one!

G — How gentle are they with you 𝄞≛

He’s a little less harsh on you than he is with others. Almost all his students point it out, and he denies it, saying he is not harsh towards you at all! He subconsciously makes you look like you’re a being better than any other the second somebody starts the topic about you. He’s so smitten!

H — Do they like hugs 𝄞≛

Not particularly. He is fond of his personal space, but if he’s really in a mood, or you, he’d most definitely accept and enjoy it. He likes your hugs the best.

I — How long does it take for them to say ‘I love you’ 𝄞≛

Quite a while actually. Although, it’s been occupying his mind. How badly he wants to say ‘I love you’ to you, but imagining your reaction or you even looking at him before he says it makes him far more flustered than he realizes. He will say it, when he finally wins the war between his love for you and his pride😭

J — How are they when jealous 𝄞≛

It’s a full interrogation scene straight out of a show! ‘Who was that?’ ‘How long have you known them?’ ‘Who are they?’ and yada-yada. He immediately goes up to you the second he sees somebody being a bit touchy with you, absolutely intimidating them and sort of freaking them out with his sculpture head. He’ll just stand behind you and say “This is my partner.”

K — How do they like kissing 𝄞≛

Oh, he’s a total sucker for them! He loves your kisses, he’s constantly craving a kiss from you no matter his mood, unless it’s something urgently important. If you do sneak a kiss on him whilst he’s very damn busy then he’ll scold you, then nudge you, indicating you should give him one more before he returns to the original topic.

L — How good are they with little ones 𝄞≛

This one’s a funny one!! I can totally see him arguing with some spoiled brat who says Ratio’s wrong about this thing or that thing. But I think he tries to remain calm for ”they rarely know any better. I know much more than them.” but he’d still totally be pissed at them and almost blow his lid! With nicer kids, he’s helping them out to the fullest!! He may not be fond of kids, nor are they fond of him but, he definitely holds care for them, and some kids might like him when they experience the nice Veritas!

M — How are your mornings with them 𝄞≛

Unsure, really. He’ll always wake you up at the same time as him unless you’re really exhausted then he’ll let you sleep and leave a note about what time he went out and some food for you. Although when you wake up together, he’ll take a bath with you, then you two will make breakfast together. Very cute!

N — How are your nights with them 𝄞≛

He’s like one of those people who immediately fall asleep the second the clock hits 10PM. No matter where he is, he’ll fall asleep at 10PM. Which is why, on some days he takes a bath with you at 9PM after dinner. Immediately, he goes on the bed with you, while you are just talking until the clock hits 10PM. Sometimes on nights where he needs to stay up for something important, he’ll do so but, the second he relaxes — he’s out!

O — How open are they with you 𝄞≛

I believe he is quite open with you. He’ll tell you anything that you ask about, so many details to the point you know more than you wanted to! He believes being open with you is the best way to solve any future miscommunication.

P — How patient are they with you 𝄞≛

Quite patient. He’s more patient with you than others. He’ll always help you out when you ask for it! Even if you somehow really get him near the edge, he’ll try his best to remain patient as possible!

Q — Quizz them to know how much do they remember about you 𝄞≛

He remembers everything about you! If you decide to tease him about a question in which he got correct, and you tell him it was wrong — he’ll go on and on about it for hours about how he’s the correct one and that “you don’t know yourself!” if he genuinely wrong though, he won’t take it lightly. He’ll instantly note it down somewhere and try to remember it everyday!

R — What’s their favourite moment in their relationship that they remember 𝄞≛

Everytime you held his hand. Ratio could feel some sort of warm, fuzzy feeling swelling up inside of him when he recalls all the moments you held his hand. Be it while on a walk, you dragging him somewhere, an emotional moment, anything. Ratio would always remember the feeling of your hand. Oh how much he loves that hand he holds so dearly, to never let go of it<3

S — How secure — protective are they of you 𝄞≛

Quite protective. He’s almost like a mother! “Where are you going?” “Who are you going with?” “When will you be back?” and if you finished calling with somebody, if you don’t tell him who called he’ll just ask himself. “who was that?” waiting for you to tell him all the details, if you don’t, that’s also... okay?

T — How hard do they try for their relationship 𝄞≛

He tries the best to his ability. He’s a member of the Intelligentsia Guild after all! Even if he’s busy, he’ll try as much as he can for you. For his love for you and, for your love for him, he’ll try the hardest he can.

U — What’s an ugly, bad habit of theirs 𝄞≛

He’s unknowingly rude at times. If you don’t like somebody or something, and you give him valid reasons — he’ll end up insulting that person more than needed. If you give him invaild reasons, he lets his tounge slip and might accidentally hurt your feelings... Don’t take it to heart too much! He’ll try making up for it...

V — (Vanity) How insecure are they 𝄞≛

Not quite insecure. Maybe to some degree, he fears his words might end up hurting you, but he tries his best to keep it to himself and improve around you. If you found out though, you’ll help him bury his insecurities into the back of his mind so he can be Veritas with you, rather than just Dr. Ratio<3

W — Would they feel incomplete — not whole without you 𝄞≛

Definitely. Without you, he has no muse. He cannot bare himself to find another muse, you are his only muse. How could an artist like him, ever survive without his dearest muse? His inspiration? The beauty of his life?

X — Xtra headcanon 𝄞≛

Ratio has soooooo many drawings and sculptures of you. In every notebook of his, you’ll find a small doodle or a beautiful sketch of yourself. Even if you stumble upon all his sculptures, you’re bound to find a few of yourself in different poses. What you notice about these drawings though, is that he erases something on your ring finger. Even on his sculptures, you could notice small bumps on your ring finger, as if there was something there but he removed it...

Y — What’s in their list of ‘Yuck!’ things 𝄞≛

Undereducated people. If you had trouble in learning due to some mental issue or if you never even been to school, he’ll apologize and help you out. If you’re sloppy and undereducated out of your own laziness, he’d definitely not like that... And I think he would subconsciously make that a bit apparent...

Z — How do they zzz 𝄞≛

He sleeps like a log! Super damn straight, you wonder if he’s breathing or not? You have to sit there besides him for a while, watching his chest go up and down before you sigh of relief to yourself that he is indeed alive and not dead. He sleeps like a total vampire or dead person! When he’s very, very tired though. He might accidentally end up holding you while he’s sleeping. Wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back closer to his chest<3

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oh god this is WAY longer than I expected uh oh😭 I SWEAR MY FAVOURITE IS AVENTURINE AND NOT RATIO, I SWEAR OM IT PLS...i might do a fanfic of the extra headcanon...it’s so cute...

[boyfiejay]

omg the jungwon soulmate au was so cute 😔 i was wondering if you could do one for sunoo?? <3

Thank you for sending an ask! This took me so long, im so sorry. Love you <3

Soulmate AU

PAIRING : Sunoo x gn Reader

GENRE : Soulmate au, fated to be

Warning : mention of drink(no names), almost road accident, reader calls him pretty like 10 times

Word Count : 1.1k

Author's note : lowk wrote this in a hurry so it isn't the best :((

Jungwon version

Working in a café in your junior year of high school was probably the dumbest decision you've made. Well, in your defence, last year when you started working, it was a nice distraction. The cafe wasn't very popular, the same few faces greeting you everyday.

But a couple months ago, a local influencer made a post about the cafe and the once silent and comforting cafe was constantly bombarded with people.

You were happy for the raise, but not for the increased work.

The only reason your parents haven't asked you to quit yet is because this job makes you meet new people everyday. 'Parents and their obsession with soulmates' you thought, and continued wiping the table.

Yeah, soulmates. When you turned 10 you were presented with a bracelet with a pretty charm, your soulmate has a bracelet with similar or identical charm on it. You remember being excited to meet yoir soulmate just like your parents. When you meet your soulmate, the charms link together and let go whenever they please.

When you meet your soulmate, you feel like you've known them forever and suddenly feel so much adoration for them, yada yada (you've heard this for years)

Now that you're older, you aren't as much excited, all because you remember seeing people all over each other, practically eating each other's faces throughout your high school days.

Today was one of the few days that it was actually peaceful, only a handful of people coming in. It had been over half an hour since no one came and you were honestly getting tired of wiping the same floor and same tables.

Just then the bell attached to the door chimed as someone made their presence known. The person stood in front of the counter looking at the menu and wondering what to order, but all you could think about was how pretty this guy is.

His beauty could single handedly defeat all of your past crushes, combined.

Before you literally start drooling at him, he opened his mouth to place his order and started taking out the money for it. God even his voice was pretty, were you going to get a crush on a random stranger you probably would never meet.

Taking your eyes off his breathtaking form, you hurried to make his drink. In record time the drink was in front of him, even he looked surprised as to how you made it so fast.

He handed you the money, something shiny on his wrist caught your eye. You returned his change and observed his wrist.

It looked too much like yours.

Before you could be out of your trance and open your mouth, he had thanked you with the prettiest smile and was hurrying out the door.

For the next week you couldn't get the pretty stranger out of your mind. All your thoughts circled back to whether his charm was really similar to yours. To be fair, a lot of people had similar looking charms, just enough difference that you wouldn't catch in a hurry. Sure his must have been different.

But you couldn't shake off this feeling that there was more to it, you just wanted to run to him and confirm it yourself. But where would you go? You didn't know his name, or his age, or which school (or uni) he went to.

Today was one of the worst days you've had this whole month. Firstly your teacher suddenly announced that you needed to submit a lengthy assignment tomorrow, then your locker door won't open and you were late to class. It seemed that you had pissed your teacher a lot considering you were sent to detention, and then your regular bus had missed.

After waiting about 20 minutes, the next bus arrived, you got on and walked to the very back of the bus to sit. You almost cursed out loud when you saw who was sitting in the row beside yours, almost.

It was the guy from the café! He had his earphones plugged in as he was hurriedly typing on his phone. The charm on his bracelet caught your attention, it really did look like yours.

Again, before you could speak up, thr bus had stopped and he was walking towards the door. He was going to get off!

You weighed your options for 2 seconds before you were also walking out.

He was walking away still immersed in texting, his whole attention on his screen. God what kind of tea did he get to have that much attention on texting.

Just then you saw a car speeding on the road, the road this guy was going to walk on!! You ran towards him, pulling his shirt collar just in time as the car zoomed past. You pulled him far away from the road.

He began coughing due to the pressure on his neck as you panted from the running. He threw a confused look towards you and before he could open his mouth you said, "A car was speeding, you would've gotten run over."

He probably didn't notice anything due to the earphones still plugged in. Noticing his neck slightly turn red you apologised. But he was quick to brush it and thank you for saving him.

It was awkward for a moment, till he noticed your gaze on his wrist. In turn he looked at yours, immediately softly grabbing your wrist to inspect your bracelet.

"You're.. We are.." he muttered, not being able to finish his thoughts.

"Yeah. Yeah we are." you nodded.

He hesitantly brought up his wrist to link your charms together. Although you already knew that you were soulmates, this was a process that made your bond stronger.

As the charms linked together, he looked up to meet your eyes. God even his eyes were pretty, long lashes and everything. This man was perfection, and he was your soulmate?

"I'm Sunoo, Kim Sunoo. Are you free right now? I mean, we don't really have a choice since this will not let go just now." he said, although borderline rambling, his voice remained soft and soothing.

You couldn't stop the smile on your face as it was finally dawning upon you that you found your soulmate. You nodded at him as he gave you one of his smiles that might even put the sun to shame.

"Let's go then! I'll show you my favourite places and you show me yours." he said, his voice more high pitched as he became excited. A slight bounce in his step as he grasped your hand, his fingers weaving through yours.

[writingforatwistedworld]

For Vil: H, I, J, please! I’m very interested in the Housewarden’s mindset as a yandere

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, manipulation, imprisonment, murder, poison, unhealthy relationship

H, I, J

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Being put on a way too high pedestal

It’s not like Vil would do this on purpose

It’s actually the oppesite

He praises you constantly, telling you how perfect you are

It’s nice and all when your partner tells you that they love every single part about you but nothing comes close to the extent Vil does

For a normal person like you it is absolutely impossible to be what he envisions that you are

And when you tell him that this is too much he is going on and on how humble you are

Safe to say you will never be able to climb this mountian

Vils fans

Many of them understand that Vil is also just another human being who wants some love in his life

And then there are also like “DON’T TOUCH MY VI-VI!”

To be fair, Vil also dislikes those fans a lot but there isn’t much he can do

So he does try to keep your relationship private but there is only so much someone like him can do

If you didn’t have the same experience as the NRC cast (aka meeting your vessel Yuu, getting to know you through Yuu) it can be a bit hard to figure out at first glance that you are the Overseer

So even that isn’t necessary some sort of protection for you

Just avoid crowds and learn how to make yourself look like someone else entirely with make-up

Vils fretting over you

“OH MY GOODNESS IS THAT A PAPERCUT??!”-Vil Schoenheit, model with 5 million followers

To say that he is always worried would be an understatement

He just wants to make sure you are always taken care of, ok?

Well guess who isn’t so thrilled about that? Ding ding ding! Ten points for the right answer! You

I’m not talking about a few minutes of attentio. I’m talking about him coming back to Pomefiore and then it starts for the entire rest of the day

And it’s not like you can tell him that it’s too much

That would be just rude and we also don’t want to know what happen if you ever were to take that “privilege” away from him

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

A “normal” relationship

You know, getting registered on the paper, being able to go out with you, yada yada

Sadly he is not able to enjoy this at the moment since he has to shield you from the more problematic part of his following

Why the “ “?

Well because in that vision you are not really having any contact to anyone besides him

Unconscious manipulation is also a normal thing, the world is evil you know? Only he is on your side

Maybe if you ask nicely he will get you a goldfish or somethign like that. You know, to talk to

One where he isn’t interrupted

At the moment the young model still has to study and also take care of his more or less dormant career

So “sadly” to your joy he can’t be there all the time

If worst would come to worst he would step down from his job

He has so much money he could probably pay easily for everything Ruggies family needs for fifty years

Man just wants to spend every minute of his life with you

Whether you want it or not does not matter

One in which you love him enough for him to stop feeding you secretly potions

Have you ever wondered why you are still here with him even though he is so overbearing?

Well congrats! You just broke through the effects of one of Vils potions

He hates it, ok? He hates it to always tiptoe around you so he can put it in your drinks

Vil thinks he has no chance with you, perfection itself, so he sees no other way but to cheat a bit

So the next time you see him with a heartbroken look on his face you know what he just did

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Easily jealous

I would like to remind you that he has a background as an actor

This means you won’t even know that he is jealous… until it’s too late

The sight of others being around you, looking at you, being close to you, potentially taking his spot besides you

It makes his blood boil

If he didn’t have a reputation to uphold he would have fed all of them apples a long time ago, and those do not keep doctors away

If you look really close and are Rook you might see his muscles being a little more tense than usual so… Nah, no way you can spot this sign early enough

Bettering himself

Vils jealousy stems from a place of fear

What if you were to find someone better than him?

So he takes it out on himself… and a teeny tiny bit on you

He wakes up earlier, runs longer in the morning, sees something ugly in something totally normal

You know, the unhealthy stuff

With him raising his standards for himself he also raises his for you

Suddenly that papercut isn’t just a papercut (to which he already reacts way too much) but a stab wound in your side

He goes from mother hen to Bridezilla before a wedding… just in a caretaker sense

Snapping

If you don’t see the signs even then he will snap

Full on reenactment of Snow White

No need to worry why he gave you that apple. It’s good for your health!

Two seconds before catastrophe struck

So whilst you lay there, your vision going dark, you can still see his visage torn by a unnatural wide smile

If he can’t have you no one can

And if eternal sleep is the only solution to you never leaving him then so be it!

[whatisame]

bartylus headcanons if u got any to spare....[shaking my mug]

Oh my god I love this question!! 😍 Anything for you my friend

They became friends on accident. Barty was a kool aid kid (yk the ones with a red ring around their mouth that are always on a sugar high) who was always kicked out of class to run laps around the yard while Reg scoffed Walburga-style at him. The teacher probably paired them up as one does with the best behaved kid and the class demon, hoping some sense will rub into the latter.

I think they would make the best team. With Regulus' penchant for accounting for even the smallest variable and Barty's ability to amplify anything's extra-ness tenfold they would have BANGER science projects and, later in life, they'd just be two highly competent dudes without a proper moral compass to hold them back.

They are a little bit TOO mean. It is not a front they put up, they genuinly think most people are stupid (reg) and boring (barty) and they treat them as such. They aren't cruel for the sake of being cruel but they don't really care/don't realize they're wrong.

Each other's #1 enablers. There's very little they will be critical of the other for.

Regulus calls Barty at the worst imaginable times and Barty always picks up.

Reg's also the only one Barty wouldn't curse out for calling at 6 am on a post-bender-Saturday only to debate whether he should just give in and eat Sirius' half rotten vegetables on the fridge or leave them so his brother can finally learn his lesson.

Regulus will say the most offhanded comment like, "I've always wanted to try this," or "My back's aching,," and the next time he sees Barty there will be takeout carelessly shoved into his chest as a greeting or a bottle of pomade will suddenly appear inside his bathroom cabinet.

Regulus simps just as hard. After asking Barty a hundred times over whether he was sure he wansn't hungry, Barty will claim he is craving Thai food after all just as they're pulling into the driveway. Regulus will groan hard but turn the car around nonetheless.

Reg will be cooking and have the living shit scared out of him by a voice coming from behind him saying: "Will it be enough for the both of us?" and Regulus almost drops the pot because Barty lets himself into his house with absolutely no warning whatsoever (he never gave him a key). "How?!!" and "Wouldn't you like to know? ;)" are a daily occurrence.

On the rare ocassion that Reg goes to a family event he always brings Barty who raids the kitchen, makes politicians uncomfortable with highly intrusive questions and announces loudly to the whole room when he needs to go take a leak.

Quickfire hcs:

Each other's firsts-everything!!

Wouldn't know how to read a room if their lives depended on it.

Laugh at at the least appropriate moments (yes, im thinking funerals but also someone proposing with a flashmob and getting rejected).

Banter is on a whole other level.

More than friends, not quite lovers yada yada ... <3

[truedairship]

Tell me more about your horse, please?

Ooohh boy never ask someone about their horse or they won’t shut up. Okay. I have no idea how much you know about horses, so I’ll try to keep the horse terms to a minimum.

Getting her is a bit of a funny story really. And kind of relevant. But background info: Us mere mortals can’t afford horses competing at the higher levels. Your only chance is basically to buy a promising youngster, train them yourself and hope that the stars align and that in a few years you can compete at the level you wanted. But most of those horses are quite expensive as well. Everybody wants those with good blood for a reason (blood = lineage, breed, how reactive yada yada).

I wasn’t even gonna buy a horse back then because I knew I would be moving abroad a year later, and I already had my pony. (Whom I had considered selling to afford a horse but whatever). Anyways, I helped my trainer break in her youngsters, they got an extended summer break after, and come winter she called me and asked if I wanted C. Because they didn’t get along. She had been a… special cookie… to break in, but an incredibly fun one. So yeah. I got a good horse real cheap because she’s crazy.

She’s… well, she’s a brat. A stubborn, explosive bitch that’s too damn smart for her own good and the biggest goddamn drama queen the world has ever seen. She’s also one of the most hardworking, powerful and talented horses I’ve ever ridden. Her teenage years were eventful to say the least, and it has been a lot of work to teach her some proper manners. I could probably fill a book with all the stupid stunts she’s pulled over the years. But at the same time, that’s kind of the charm. You never have a boring day with her.

Despite her attitude and the drama, she’s genuinely very kind. She just doesn’t show it if she doesn’t have to😅 But she never wants to drop her rider, I’ve only fallen off because we stumbled over an xc-jump and she almost did a somersault. And while she usually is too impatient to stand still, whenever there’s small kids around she won’t move a leg, but you can see her literally twitching because that is tiny human. Must not move. Tiny human fragile, stepping on will injure. She was also the one who accompanied youngsters on their first forest hacks at my old job, because, while hacking out usually is a rollercoaster ride of jumping away from invisible monsters hiding behind stones (thoroughbreds in my heart<3), when the kiddos came with, she was super cool and they could even run into her and she didn’t even bat an eye. Because they are her adopted siblings now and Ohana means family.

So yeah. She has quite the personality but this is already getting long. And when it comes to riding, well, attempting to avoid using technical terms, you can teach just about any horse to move fancy, but riding a horse that does it naturally is just something else. She does everything with such ease and such power. And she loves to learn new stuff, which to me is the most important part. I’d rather ride an eager horse with zero talent than an unmotivated one. Because having to force them to work… nope.

Generally with horses, if you have a bad day, it’s 50/50 whether you’ll have one of the nicest rides of your life because the horse notices that you’re not at your best, or you’ll have what feels like the worst one ever because nothing works and the horse decides that if you’re not gonna try your best, they won’t either. 9/10 times, she’s the first type (and considering that we sometimes can spend the entire warmup discussing whether the chair in the corner will eat us or not, that’s saying something)

That’s also kind of why I’m selling her. I don’t have the time to ride her everyday. So when I do, she’s super duper happy and energetic and it makes me feel all guilty that I can’t ride her more. And it breaks my heart every time she comes running towards me in the field all eager, only for me to give her a pat and a carrot then leave (makes me feel like a parent that doesn’t have time for their kid so they spoil them with toys instead😅). I usually give her a kiss on the nose as a goodbye, but lately she refuses to let me do it unless I have ridden her first. And no, that’s not an exaggeration.

Tl;dr: She’s a bitch, she’s amazing, she drives me crazy and she’s my best friend. Being allowed to ride her is an honour. (and unfortunately she’s aware of that😆)

[celestialtarot11]

Babydoll I’m coming in with my two parts🩷🩵 you mentioned spooky stories before and to add our own, so here I am. Although mines not about spirits or any demonic creatures, I think it still could be described as something lowkey outta this world. I am interested in spirituality and witchcraft and have been aware of casting spells without being aware of doing so. Listened to way too many stories of people being victims of love spells and curses. And as we all know, evil spirited people are around us. That’s why last year I did a protection spell on myself. To keep me away from all the evil and to make me more aware when something is just not right. And I told people about it. Everybody laughed because spells. “You should pray” yada yada yada. I set intentions to the universe every single time I burn incense to keep me safe and protected. Early this year I started noticing a certain patern with a person I considered my best friend. We are talking about years of friendship. First, I started to notice how critical of others she is. She would see a TEENAGE GIRL with a crop top and call her an attention whore. A random kid. And this would happen other times too. She would be critical towards people who somehow resembled me in a way. Then, she would openly say how unhappy she is for people in happy relationships. Like I understand being a little jealous someone is happily in love, but more in a “god I see what you did for others” way not I’m unhappy with my life and I will belittle others who live a better life or have something I don’t. This has been going on for around two months and talking to her was taking a toll on me. To the point of me having ZERO energy whenever I texted her. There was a moment, when I did shadow work on myself and decided to hold myself accountable and generally work on being a better daughter and a friend and a human being in general. My mental health got so much better, I was so happy with myself and my accomplishments and had a drive to start loving myself the way I deserve to. To actually allow myself to love me without feeling guilty. So I told her. I simply told her I’m happy with myself and I feel like my mental health is finally improving. That I’m fighting against my depression. Do you know what I heard from her? How miserable she is and how awful her life is. Like babe, I’m there for you but please be there for me too. So I turned and started being there for her again. Every happy moment of my life I shared with her, she wouldn’t even once say that’s she’s happy for me. Mind you, I didn’t win a lottery or even get a promotion. I was simply getting better mentally. When I would tell her about something that bothered me or I had a problem with, her problems were worse. She wouldn’t even ask. But she was so active when I said I was sad. it’s like it was giving her some sort of satisfaction. And it’s been like this every day. Thank god I didn’t see her for some time. But when i finally did, I felt like I aged a couple years. I was getting angry and annoyed when I looked at her and this never happened! We’ve hang out for a few hours and those hours were the worse time of this year for me. I felt physically exhausted and sick. And so I did my best to try and postpone the next meeting and to straight up ignore her messages. And so we didn’t talk for a week. I was back to my normal self. She messaged me again and we texted for some time. I was once again angry annoyed. But the worst thing is, I started getting blemishes all over my face. I healed my acne around that time and had a skin care routine that was going on for really long, so no way ma makeup or cosmestics did it to me. My diet did not changed one bit. And I looked like I had chickenpox. A week before, all my flowers at my office fucking rotted. They didn’t die. They were rotten. I’ve never seen anything like that before. And so I was on holidays crying because my face was fucked up. And instead of fading away it was getting worse and would itch more with every day. Two weeks. I had this for two weeks. Along with headaches.

No way girl—First of all, I’m sorry your growth was not celebrated in the ways you deserve to have it be. Its important to have friendship and those who want you to be well. Wishing anything less than that is harmful, and thats what she did. She may never have been direct, but her response was enough.

I would like to say: props to you for doing shadow work and taking accountability. You deserve recognition and to be appreciated.

I also have heard in the witchy community plants will die to absorb negative energy. Maybe thats what happened there! Your plant babies were protecting you :,) but I am sorry. Some peoples energies are truly like a poltergeist, it effects not just you but thats around you.

I really hope you cut her loose 🤍

[system-of-a-feather]

Hi! First of all I just want to say I love your content and the stuff you post has been really comforting lately. I’ve been wondering if I have DID recently, and had repressed memories of having alters, but I’m just not sure if I’m just faking it or not and I’m scared to reach out to people or look at things because I do not want to offend systems at all

Basically I’m wondering if I could have some advice, but if not that’s totally cool :))

To be honest? Don't worry about it. Its fine to be wrong and its fine to question and explore. Some people might get offended, but that's cause its the internet and there's no such thing as a non-offensive post on the internet. I'm sure someone on the internet would get offended over the ":))" emoji. /hj /lh

I might not be the best person to ask, because I honestly don't even care that much of people actually ARE intentionally faking it - like intentionally and actively faking it for likes or whatever is bad and you shouldn't do it and yada yada, but I'm really not gonna keep myself up at night over it. And if I'm not gonna do that for INTENTIONAL MALINGERING "fakers", I sure as hell don't give a fuck and mind people who are genuinely trying to figure out whats going on in their head and maybe misinterpretation it or getting it wrong. Mental health shit is confusing and difficult and existing in general is really difficult and hard to understand so *shrugs*

Communicate your experiences, see a professional if you can, and express what is making you feel the way you do. I don't think anyone should be offended or mad about someone with good will and good intent, trying to understand and explain what is genuinely going on in their head - and if someone is, I think that's not something you should have to have weigh on your head. If you don't mean harm, try to be respectful, and are simply trying to understand yourself - I don't think you need to judge yourself for the potential of being wrong.

Being wrong and what not is an important step to learning and growing and developing as person. I think we - as a society - should honestly welcome the "wrong but with good faith" and the "hes a little confused but hes got the spirit" more often tbh.

Philosophical social rambles aside, as for other pointers? I'm not sure how specifically relevant it is, but I think there are some points of interest that might be related to this topic on this post? Not sure cause I don't fully remember what I wrote but, I remember people reblogging it and liking it so XD Worst case scenario, its completely irrelevant but a peer reviewed good post so *shrugs*

-Riku

[shooks-stupid-stuff]

it's time to be annoying about masumii and takoshi again :]]]]]]]]

only this time, it's au versions (the base concept is what if they swapped places, but in like a masumii was born to takoshi's parents and takoshi was born to masumii's parents so they had the other's lives and genetics and yada yada you get the point way-)

so here, shitty pen doodles (which are inaccurate actually bc i decided to make masumii's turtleneck sleeveless like she usually has)

more art (from aggies)/inane ramblings under the cut, bc there is A Good Amount and i don't want this post to take up too much space xjdhdjdk-

ok so takoshi first (ft a knife pika drew hurtling towards him which inspired the 2nd doodle fjcnck) and like. this is just takoshi if he had enough time to cope with his trauma and stop relying on his masking tendencies constantly, and therefore he is just A Little Guy. A Little Goober, if you will. silly and goofy and kinda pathetic but very well meaning and kind. i like him :]

...he is still very depressed though don't be fooled, the trauma is Not As Bad Anymore but it still affects him deeply.

and now masumii (ft. a bunch of Little Guys drawn by pika) (i didn't feel like drawing her suit jacket also) who is Significantly More Depressed. unlike takoshi she doesn't even try to pretend she has any light left in her eyes, girl is dead inside and dead serious about everything. also unlike takoshi, she's incredibly competent at running a business, you love to see a girlboss win

the interesting part about this au is that, since takoshi and masumii have what i have begun to refer to in my head as "genderlocked trauma", by switching places they kinda avoid the worst of it (and while i definitely could have just changed stuff slightly to make it still work like in the boy masumii/girl takoshi au that i ALSO have solely bc they would have a very comedic height difference, that kinda feels like it would be cheating in this au and also is boring bc i've already done it-)

emphasis on kinda.

because that doesn't mean they can't have DIFFERENT trauma-

overall though, in broad strokes bc i don't wanna get into the trigger-warning hell that is their backstories, takoshi still has his masking tendencies and struggles with doing things that aren't in line with other's perception of him, even if it's not what he wants to do or how he wants to act (this is where the whole flirty fuckboy act comes from) and masumii still has her general disdain for, well. flirty fuckboys, as well as her general abrasiveness towards people she has a bad impression of (and people in general, though normally she does conceal that one (albeit normal masumii does a better job of this)) and she is still incredibly sensitive about people touching or even seeing her neck, which do still have horrible scars(?) on it in this iteration (i'm not 100% sure scars are the right term but idk what is so)

the most interesting part to me though is how this au changes the way their deep rooted self hatred manifests. for takoshi, he really does hate himself, but he knows that all he does by punishing himself is hurt the people who he cares about, and who care about him in turn. and so even though that is something that just makes him more miserable, which he feels he deserves, he's the kind of person who is willing to do ANYTHING to ensure his loved ones are happy, so... he tries to treat himself kindly, and to let himself be happy even if he feels he doesn't deserve it, for their sake. this contrasts regular takoshi, who has absolutely no one to lean on for support, and has a self hatred so deep that he's on the brink of quite literally losing himself since he is pretending to be someone he isn't literally anytime he's around another person. which is like 95% of the time since he almost always has a girlfriend. he doesn't think he deserves anything, and that since people don't want the real him from him, he should just disappear. it's bleak, he's in a really bad place .

masumii, on the other hand, also really hates herself, but she actively takes it out on herself because she thinks she's a good for nothing disgusting hypocrite who deserves everything she gets. she hardly lets others get close enough to help, both because she feels she doesn't deserve it and also because she's incredibly wary about opening up or being vulnerable. and when she does start to enjoy being around someone, she does all she can to deny and suppress those feelings, because in her mind she doesn't deserve to be happy, and no one would want to be near her if they knew the truth (this is something that takoshi also feels, though to a lesser degree than masumii). this is actually pretty similar to regular masumii, with the main difference being WHAT trauma has brought on those specific feelings and responses. regular masumii has also had a lot more time to process said trauma, but (unlike this au's takoshi) has been unable to raise her opinion of herself at all, simply getting better at hiding it rather than actually healing and slowly starting to get over it (that said, regular masumii is at the very least a bit better about her self hatred than this au's masumii; it's still there and strong, but she can force it down and ignore it atleast partially if need be).

yeah i just. i love these guys so much, they're both such horribly broken people but they're able to find love and joy in each other and help each other heal and man that's just so fucking beautiful. it's not like things get better immediately, it still takes time (hell, corporate hell masumii and takoshi who have been together like 60+ years are STILL struggling with their trauma, and they're comedic relief characters-) but they're able to help each other make it through each day, one at a time, and learning to love themselves in the process.

i fucking love these two terrible straight people, thank you for coming to my ted talk

[wolfscarr]

Helluva Boss: Moxxie, the child of EXTREME Parents. The Balance between them.

So I didn’t really wanna start making posts again about Helluva Boss, ya know theorizing and such because. But here I am...again...and I guess it’s because of my love for Mafia related things, I find it very interesting....though moreso in the early 20th Century, but anyway I’m rambling.

So reader, what do I mean by that Moxxie has EXTREME parents and he’s the Balance between them?

Well let’s take a look at the characters hm? More specifically his parents, let’s start off by looking at his mother.

Mrs. Knolastname

Side note, I’m kind of annoyed that she doesn’t have a name. Like you can give background gangsters names, but not her? An important character to one of the main ones?

So we know obviously that Moxxie’s mother is very kind and caring imp, especially towards her son Moxxie, helping him with his dinner and trying to shoo him away from any kind of violence. She very clearly cares about her son and obviously wants to protect him. As she’s portrayed, she doesn’t seem at all very violent, especially for an imp from Wrath.

Now I realize many are on her side compared to her husband with regards to Moxxie, but here’s the thing about her treatment to her son.

It’s all well and good that she’s kind and caring to him certainly...but the audience needs to remember something.

They live in HELL. You know the place being nice, caring and so forth, can be seen as weakness? Where someone could very well end up taking advantage of another because they can’t defend themselves or stand up for themselves? Moxxie’s mother coddling him, doesn’t do him any favors for the life in Hell.

We can’t be looking at this from our view of how things are done on Earth, because Hell is much worse. You have literal monsters with legitimate power both figuratively and literally(AKA: Sinners, Demon Royalty etc) that can eat someone alive(both figuratively and literally) if they don’t have a backbone to them.

I’m not saying Moxxie’s mother couldn’t help him out, but at the same time, she had to know that doing TOO much of it, would be detrimental to Moxxie.

Which now brings us to the other EXTREME half.

Mr. Knolastname AKA: Crimson

Now before anyone says anything. Yes I’m AWARE he killed his wife, he’s clearly a bad guy, he’s clearly scum. Alright? So moving on from that...

Crimson obviously has been in the Mafia life for probably his entire life, so he’s grown up in it, he’s seen and done things ALL across Hell. So he’s obviously going to know how bad things are and that you need to be strong, you need to know how to take care of yourself, to take action and kick someone’s ass. So it’s clear by what we see later from Moxxie, that he’s a very effective killer more than likely taught by his Father.

The problem is though, is the opposite of his wife. He seems to not really have much compassion towards his son and actually give him a choice of what HE wants out of life. He seems to want a sort of mini him, a son that he could mold into the likeness of himself....to be as ruthless and cutthroat as he is. Which is obviously bad.

He’s pushing his son into a life, that he’s not sure that he would actually want. Crimson is FORCING his life to go in a certain direction, whereas his mother would probably want to have Moxxie choose of what he wants out of his life, rather than it being forced upon him.

Now this of course causes a rift between the two parents and yada yada, we all know what happens.

Conclusion

So both Mrs. Knolastname and Mr. Knolastname gave Moxxie what he needed in order to survive through Hell. While Crimson obviously is the worst parent of the two, he still gave his son the skills needed in order to not be pushed around. When push comes to shove, he can do work, he can kill like nobodies business.

His mother meanwhile, gave her son the compassion and caring needed in order for him to have a stable life with a loving wife by his side, to be there for him.

While obviously Moxxie seems to take more after his mother’s side, we do see at times his father’s side come out when shit hits the fan.

Why I did this? Boredom and probably I hope to perhaps put a different perspective, because I know many people would just ignore Crimson’s tribute to Moxxie as a character. You can hate Crimson folks, don’t get me wrong, but I’m sure it can’t be denied at what he did for Moxxie.

[zoofles]

Life update but tw for drug talk/OD/drugging/abuse yada yada

Here’s Very very cute little thingy my partner crafted with emojis somehow to be a spacer. He is just a litl robot who is crushing hard on the virus glitching his all-ware (me. I’m the guy making him malfunction!!!!!💥)

anyway life update!! tw for drugging and overdose again! But me and my bf were drugged and experienced the worst bad trips ever. I OD’d completely and nearly died. I also now know I have POTS/a cardiac condition separate to POTS and DID (NOT schizophrenia…the voices who were my friends with lives and personalities were actually alters and I was front stuck 💪 also we do not call ourselves alters but HEADBITCHES! It’s just that alters is too medical or formal?? Idk we all friends). It’s great to finally know wtf is going on. lol. But anyway. I’ve been extraordinarily sick and WORSE since the drug incident.

Found out that not one, but TWO of the people I loved, trusted and gave my world to betrayed me, lied to me/covered up their lies to avoid consequences/accountability which hurt me SO deeply upon finding out on my OWN (yeah they didn’t even have the guts to tell me and just went on living and talking to me like they hadn’t backstabbed me) that I couldn’t even afford to grieve because I risked a heart attack from the stress, emotions and stabbing pain. Had to dissociate it away to process later. Maybe another 3 or so years will do the trick? No clue.

We’ve got the best little robo partner tho!!!!!!! 💥💥💥he’s helped us all through this. Plus Banjoh and everyone else are so supportive and there with me on these …discoveries. Being cheated on and lied to sucks! BEING DRUGGED SUXXXXX. Being so alone in discovering trauma/what truly happened to you sucks. Escaping abuse and hopelessness on your own because the people who promised to help you and convinced you to place all your bets on them before they bailed on you leaving you helpless, vulnerable, alone and betrayed sucks. My life so far has been nothing but misery. I nearly gave up multiple times because of how worthless i felt, because every time I tried to escape the misery I was cast further into it. Every day I felt discarded, replaced, worthless, a burden who people were relieved to abandon after years of pressuring me to open up and trust them, only to let me watch them grow happier with someone else. I felt like my situation, my pain and the abuse I endured was a heavy and disgusting mass on my shoulders, something nobody deserved to see or share or carry for me. I hid away. I even gave into the abuse at one point because life had taught me that even the people who promised to help me, wouldn’t. I couldn’t escape on my own. I was trapped, cornered by the careful thinking of my abusers. I needed help, but could no longer ask for it because life had taught me that only ended in blood and tears. Never trust anyone, no matter how hard they try to make you trust them, to rely on them, lean on them, love them with your whole heart…just don’t. They won’t feel anything when they decide to stop caring, when they realise you weren’t lying about being heavy with suffering. They won’t look back when they leave for someone more convenient, more comfortable, more …NOT you.

if it weren’t for the final, tiny, damp spark that was the words in my head saying ‘one last time…’ with my current partner. ..I wouldn’t be here. My life has been hardship after hardship. Physically, I’m chronically unwell and can’t live without constantly worrying about my extremely delicate health. It’s only gotten worse now with my heart. Mentally, my mind is fundamentally broken and formed differently to a healthy brain due to being tortured from 3 years old. Emotionally, I’m weak and fragile, I can barely handle simple stresses without falling apart. But god, even though shits gotten worse, at the same time it’s gotten better.

George, I know you’ll read this because you read everything I write. I know you’ll know what I’m talking about, that you’ll understand. I know you’ll look at me with the same eyes and lean in to hug me once you’re done reading.

In 2020, I nearly let myself die because I thought nothing else but death could free me from the heart ache and shattering emotional pain I felt physically every day. I decided to hang on because of shame, thinking I wasn’t worthy enough to kms.

In 2021 I got into an abusive relationship. I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually every day and I had no way out but to go back to my abusive home. I did go back, and I nearly died once more.

In 2022, I barely remember anything. The days blurred together and nothing felt real. It all felt like the grey mass had spread to my brain and made me dumb. I felt like static. A single, dull tone that rang on and on and never stopped. I was given a life saving surgery, I remember that. It stopped one of my chronic pains from destroying me for a temporary amount of time. The pain had been bedridden, crying out and vomiting in my sheets.

But then there was you. I remember the day so well…I was deleting every app I had that allowed me to meet new people. Dating apps, friends, all. I have never had any friends before, nobody real who actually loved me, or cared enough to stay beyond when I was being used for something. Nobody seemed to work out. I thought “I’ve used up my love, huh. That was my last chance, and it hurt so bad that I won’t ever be able to fall in love again. Even though that’s all I’ve ever wanted…someone to love, and someone to love me.” And with the last app before me I used up the last of my swipes before I was supposed to delete it and never try again. I was supposed to drift after that, drift and obey until I died…but you happened and ruined it all.

I only paused because your face felt familiar, I thought maybe I’d seen you once before. Maybe a “friend” knew you.

We started talking, and all of a sudden I felt a tiny smile crease my lips. That hadn’t happened since …

We spoke and spoke all night, relating our interests and goals. We met the next day, and all day I realised over and over again; you’re just like me. I don’t mean the similar surface level stuff like the fact that you liked to draw, or had characters you loved to think about, or you had games I knew of…I mean that you were like me. You almost gave up, you’d been tricked into loving people who only saw you as something to pass the time. Nobody you loved ever loved you the same way you did; even if they insisted they did. That when you said “I’ll never not love you, I won’t leave unless you want me to” to past lovers you MEANT it. You were damaged. You were broken apart and had given so much of yourself away and used up so much of your heart to just keep yourself alive that you weren’t sure if you were really alive anymore at all. All you wanted was love. Pure, kind and patient love. That when you look into the future you only ever wanted to see someone with you. You were alone but not by choice.

10 months later and here we are, sitting side by side, sleeping and keeping each other warm simply by blood and thoughts. I never thought I’d trust anyone ever again, nor love again…yet here we are. Every day we look at each other and think “I’m so glad I kept going. I’m so glad you understand. I’m so SORRY that you had to be wounded over and over so that your stolen flesh revealed your vulnerable insides to me…only so i could see you for who you are and recognise that we had the same heart. I love you, and I know you won’t leave until I leave, but that won’t happen. Because who in their right mind would EVER leave such a beautiful thing behind?”

I love you, thank you. And you are always welcome, welcome here with me.

[bravagente]

my two cents no one asked for about the damiano and giorgia split. first paragraphs might sound harsh but i promise the post isn’t.

i don’t honestly believe damiano and giorgia were non-exclusive. not only did they never mention it despite sharing a lot about themselves, but with such an overwhelming social media presence the fact that nothing of that sort (certainly nothing as impossible to misunderstand as that video) has ever emerged before can only make you conclude the open relationship thing doesn’t add up. in fact, they seemed like a pretty committed couple with cats. 

i think they agreed to say they were non-excusive so that people would hopefully stop saying mean, humiliating things about giorgia (they aren’t). i see where she in particular came from, i kinda get why she said it and i respect her, i just respectfully don’t buy it. 

my guess is they grew apart as he began to spend a huge amount of time abroad, living a completely different life than he would once, and he probably changed over time. we tend to forget how young he is and while their age gap is really minimum it can make a lot of difference between young adults. love can naturally fade or evolve into platonic affection at certain stages in someone’s lives, let alone in one’s 20s. again, my guess, but i think they broke up in a probably not ideal, but peaceful, way, and he might not have told her he was attracted to someone else, someone she and the whole band knew on top of that. that explains her being hurt enough to unfollow (maybe block?) everyone involved. 

where i draw the line is at the idea that he’s always cheated and yada yada, a theory many in italy seem to share (especially among the cynical and gen xers, who project the ethics of old rockstars on the new). 

i absolutely think damiano has been smitten for a long time. coraline alone would suffice to prove that, and when he cried performing it at sanremo he confirmed both to a journalist and by liking a particular tweet that he got emotional because the song is about her. even with the band’s latest album, when asked which songs in it were his favourites he mentioned the two (one is timezone, i forget the other one because tbh i didn’t listen to rush a lot) that were pretty clearly about her or at the very least inspired by their relationship. such professions of love were never super showy and “out there”, he wouldn’t go around dropping her name and releasing statements about their relationship like celebrities do one week before they get into the worst divorce ever, and i think the subtlelty of it all is testament to how genuine his feelings were. 

their posts on social media were similarly discrete except in rare occasions, which is always a green flag of a steady, healthy relationship (again, think of influencers and celebs who are posting about their love lives all the time right before they split horribly). this makes even more sense to me when i consider that giorgia tended to post a bit more, since i personally think she’s more insecure than he is, but overall they posted like a solid team and not like a couple that’s desperately trying to persuade you of how happy they are. 

plus, as someone who's been through STUFF, i think additional proof of his strong feelings for her is the fact that he stuck with her in sickness and in health for years at such a young age. this might sound like i’m praising a man for doing the bare minimum but again, i’ve been in a somewhat similar place as giorgia i can’t elaborate about without oversharing and i can promise not every young man will have it in himself to support you and endure some things with you no matter what, and for so long. 

[kagejima]

So far she was the best 😭😭 sad but I had worse, like at least she validates my feelings. I had other therapist give me example of kids who are born without limbs or telling me that I'm young and pretty so I should live my life??? Like?? I was at the hospital too. I'll try and search for someone else. I also talk with my psychiatrist when I have appointments and she's understanding. Or at least she's doing a good job?? Idek at this point. I had some doctors that would focus on some things more than other. Like idk I have more than one mental illness 😭 so they said let's focus on depression for now, or this antidepressants work for your ocd too, while my current doctor paid attention to my ocd too. It's hard. I thought that once I go to doctors, I will find a cure quickly, but after years I'm met with the fact that mental illness it's so hard to treat. And sometimes you just have to learn how to manage it your whole life which sucks. :/

I wish I was at least born pretty 😭 literally everytime I get out of the house someone calls me ugly or makes a mean comment. It was horrible back in school. I was bullied so bad. And frankly I never liked the way I look, but they can just ignore me you know?? The men are the worst. They would go out of their way to let me know how ugly they think I am. And most of the times I wasn't even interacting with them??? I don't get it. It was hard seeing how they'd flirt with my friends but call me ugly. That made things awkward for my friends too.

Wish I had at least money lmao. I resent my parents for having kids. My whole family actually. Cause their parents pressured them into getting married and having kids yada yada cause that's what you're suppose to do? And they had 3 😭 :/ and now I'm fucked. And somehow it's still my fault for being unreasonable and mean?? All my life I felt guilty, I deserve to feel angry now.

Sorry for the long rant. I keep on saying the same thing to my therapist too but I still don't feel any better . And I'm getting old, I'll soon be 27 :(

:((( It sounds like you just have a shitty therapist right now. I hope that you can easily transition into one that's way better for you!! I'm glad that you have a good psychiatrist though and that your current doctor listens to you and is actively helping you in the meantime, those are very important as well!

And yeah, I get you about the men stuff 🥲🥲🥲 tbh, most men i know are trash anyways so i'm not surprised 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also please don't be so hard on yourself about your looks! 🥺🥺 I think being born pretty is very... it's a weird area. Some of the worst people I've ever known in my whole life - like just absolutely nasty people - were conventionally pretty, and I'm sure others here will agree with me they have met people like that as well.

I think loving yourself and your looks is a very long and hard journey, but I believe in you! Hell, I'm 31 and I'm still insecure about my face sometimes. When I finally cut my hair into the pixie it is now, I felt more like me than I had in my entire life, but there's still awful people going "Haha, you look like a 10 year old boy!!" BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?? fuck them. and fuck those people that say rude things to you!! i don't know if you know the song, but whenever i get down like that, i like to listen to kesha's "let 'em talk" until i feel better!!

[stitchwraith-stingers]

lets get... 🔥controversial🔥

1, 21, & 24 for fop!

the character everyone gets wrong

TRIXIE TANG, EVEN THE WRITERS HATE HER, 2 MILLION EXLOSION DEATHS

also ig if i want to go there then also peri and devs whole thing, im not a fan of dad peri (aside from the fact i dislike assigning characters A Role) to me hes more ofa collage student who got his first job and they gave him to work with soemone who definatly needs more patience, why take away everything that makes it interesting??

part of canon you think is overhyped

cant think of anything that doesnt make me sound like a guy trying so hard to be different cuz it 100% deserves to be hyped up and are litterly focal points, but if i had to say something then ig like. peri and dev or like dale in general............. idkkkkkkkkkkkk im boring

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

it has definatly mellowed out since then but the takes people had during the finale REEKED, the finale isnt perfect by any means writing wise, but god the way people went about it gave me headaches

aside from the fact that, yknow it would be predictable if that was her wish, i think it shows a great substance in hazels character with how she tried to get through him and eventually realising theres no point in helping someone that wont accept it, and dev himself realised it first and admitted to it with the whole 'almost killed his maybe-therpist and took over a secret society and exposed them when their whole is Dont Tell Anyone' thing he did, obviously dev isnt the devil he is litterly neglected and is lashing out only because thats how he copes, however its not her responsibility to hold his hand and go "you fucked up big time, lets go get ice cream now" (especially after the last time we saw them together he almost indirectly erased coswan out of existance???????????? infront of her?????????? hello?????)

ive even seen a perosn say that she shouldve known better since her mom is a therapist (i wont go on about it, yadi yadi yada her mom doesnt know how to work with kids directly so if hazel did it it could maybe backfire on him depending on what she did, also in the pitch bible it states that she repeats therapy speech w/o understanding it so make of that what you will)

this isnt to say that peopel arent allowed to be dissapointed in what her ACTUAL wish was since i get it, even to me that writing desiction feels abit bittersweet to me in a sense thinking about it now, but i think that little moment was the best in that episode, how you dont have to help people that wont accept your help, also also this is just clearly to reel in people for a season 2, like people were overdramatic saying 'this is erasing all of devs development!' hold on you dont know that yet the last you saw him he got teleported back to earth

i think apart of this problem is that back when i was seeing predictions i saw seeing some really overdramatic and angsty ones, so i think apart of it is just people not seeing what they wanted to see fully considering this show is made for a younger audience and jsut works with a formula that isnt a direct story

theres also the quiet part that ill say outloud and ill keep saying it: theres some (UNINTENTIONAL!!!!!!!!! TO CLARIFY) white favortism going on imo, like theyll go oh sweet baby dev 😭😭😭 and then he gets crisitized ONCE and theyre like shes the worst ever . not to mention the very few people ive seen that say that dev shouldve been the protagonist (stares directly at the camara. you know why thats a bad idea right), and THIS is the only discussion ive seen more peopel talk about together that involved her, i dont think you guys are about her at all i think you guys just want a sponge to use for his angst, there are 30 other episodes you can talk about them i promise, tumblr dot com make a post about hazel wells that doesnt circle back to dev CHALLANGE FAILED

if you want something more general, then the whole 'who deserves godparent' discourse takes me out, i fucking LOVE chester ok but if you say he deserves a fairy godparent ur fucking lying, fairy idol exists, "OHH BUT HES POOR" doesnt work either

i think its REALLY funny how everyone who has that argument, mcbadbat local guy whos known to not give a fuck and loves how his life is, rag on hazel and chloe for not giving a fuck a loving how life is, like which is it do you have to be run over 20 times a week to get a fairy or can you get it for internal reasons make it make sense, i think you guys just hate female characters

[advice-go-for-it]

ok so. here's the thing. i've been in love for this person for months now right. recently, we've started talking getting to know each other, yada yada. i started to feel an emotional attachment to them that i hadn't felt with anyone else before. they made me happy. happier than ive been in a long time.

now, i had always known they were genderfluid. that was a given from the start. but my hetero-ass mind had always... assumed a more fem-leading position.

today, i was finally able to ask exactly how they generally present. their response? in times than not, they do have a more masc presentation. i had anticipated something like this, but now... i've getting way too many conflicting emotions here.

like mentioned before, i consider myself a heterosexual. but i had planned to make an "exception" for them, simply just because of how much i liked them, how much i connected with them as a person. but at this moment? it varies from heartbreak to damn near disinterest.

its like i don't want a relationship with them anymore. which is scary, because nothing has changed, besides my image of them. i mean, what the hell is wrong with me? i knew they were genderfluid, i knew this was a possibility, so how can i go from head-over-heels-ready-to-confess-TOMORROW in love with them to utter disinterest just because they happen to present as masc more frequently?

i mean, they have a feminine voice! and im 90% sure they're AFAB. so what's the problem? what's my fucking problem? and you know the worst part of it all? this friendship that i've developed with them might've damn well pulled me out of depression. (not completely, but to a manageable level.) but now that i'm "okay" with just being friends, the suicidal thoughts are back all over again. was i only living for the possibility of a relationship with someone i didn't even know what gender they present as?

to be absolutely clear, the problem is NOT that they're more of a guy. the problem is now that i know that, despite all rational thought, my brain refuses to acknowledge those past feelings. now i feel more lonely than ever. am i selfish? was i just doomed from the start?

sorry for the long ass post. a lot's on my mind right now.

TW MEMTIONED SU*C*DAL THOUGHTS

There’s nothing wrong with you. It sounds more like your brain let you get away with the “exception” because you let yourself see them as more feminine. Now that that’s changed, you just aren’t interested.

You don’t have an attraction to the more male presenting population. Your brain recognized that and changed your feelings. It happens sometimes.

I know it can be very difficult and possibly scary to have happen, and I’m sorry. The best thing to do is treat it the same way you would if you fell out of love with any other person. Your brain decided that you aren’t attracted to them anymore, and that’s okay.

It sounds like you were putting most of your hope into this, and that’s why it’s so emotionally devastating. You need to find a way to live for yourself, and not just for them.

Therapy and studying things that help with depression can help a lot. So can establishing a routine. Remember, there are people who love you. There are people who would be devastated if you were gone.

You aren’t selfish I promise. Sometimes people can only feel attraction in specific ways, and that’s you.

I myself have struggled a lot with this kind of thing. I existed for someone and for the chance that they’d want me. It ended badly and that wrecked me. I had to learn to live for myself, and to love myself.

Try pouring out these feelings somewhere, or with someone you trust. Try and find something else to live for, if you can’t live for yourself yet.

It’s also possible that your feelings could return once your brain gets used to the change in perspective. You could gain feelings for someone else in the future as well.

I promise that you’ll get through this. If you have any more questions I’d be happy to help, and you can also try DMing me if you’d like more specific answers.

I hope this helps, at least a bit. You are not alone.

💚

[scoobydoodean]

I am reblogging this, and I want people to know when I do so, that for a long time, I have considered Bear a friend. He's been a follower of mine for a long time and actually has his own tag on my blog #thee number one benny stan to hold all of the lovely things he's sent to me over the last year when I started formally tagging things. I was tagged in and frequently reblogged his art over the last year, which I have always thought was lovely and unique (and have told him so).

Over the last year, I became increasingly aware that a lot of people do not know Bear as a person who occasionally pops into their inbox to spread love and positivity—which is what I have always known Bear for—as a sweet, lovely, creative person.

When the anon mail from some benny stans started happening, I did not believe that he would send people such terrible things. My experience with him had always been positive, and he came to me a few times when Courtney was getting anons he thought could be misconstrued as being from him (though no one, including me, ever implicated him in any way), and told me it wasn't him. I believed him. My way of making sense of the harassment Courtney was being sent that seemed so deeply connected to Benny and recent posts Bear had made (despite no one ever saying that) was that perhaps someone who disliked both of them was sending the messages, and then DM-ing both of them about it to stir up drama as some sick little game.

Courtney and I discussed this. Bear and I discussed this. I urged Bear to protect his mental health by not going to Courtney's blog to see messages that filled him with anxiety (and frustration over the lack of shared interest in Benny and deanbenny). It has been perpetually clear that despite being blocked, he often goes onto Courtney's blog and then gets upset about hate messages being sent to Courtney about Benny, and how Courtney responds to them. Courtney has never once named him in connection to any of these messages, and people sending Courtney ugly things about Benny OR about Bear is not Courtney's fault.

ETA:

Over the last few months, I have grown sadder and sadder as I faced more evidence (despite the fact that absolutely no one tried to prove it to me) that Bear is the one who sends a lot of the ugly messages Courtney has received (including suicide bait). I genuinely did not want to believe this was the case.

However, I have seen vagueposts that happened too close together, timestamped before Courtney receieved hate mail about Benny AND a few minutes after they responded to it. I've become aware of a lot of stories that have saddened me that show a particular pattern. I will leave most of those for other people to share or not share.

I also reached out to someone recently about negative experiences connected to Bear that I had heard about, and harassment that resulted from blocking him for some unpleasant behavior. I've been asked not to be too specific to protect their identity. I also want to add that Bear was a follower of theirs prior to this, and they'd had friendly interactions:

He came back after being blocked and harassed me from multiple accounts (one of them had anons that had been sent calling people racists. [I say] anons because the account was empty). The first one was an "apology"—typical, "I'm sorry that you felt bad, but I didn't do anything wrong". Other anons were hate mail, name calling, yada yada. [...] Note that since this started I thought it was best (from a cursory glance at his blog) that I never utter a word to him. well then I took some measures in hopes that would stop him without me having to contact him. He called me a racist and said that I used the term "harassment" to make him look like a thug, and then he started DMing my mutuals sending them [posts he made about me]. When people started unfollowing him, he deleted [everything he's said] [...] Then he made a post apologizing [...] to anyone but me. Days passed and he kept vagueing me, saying I was the worst person alive, love bombing and following MY mutuals and talking shit in DMs that I was racist and a terf [...] Basically, he's been playing the victim while implementing every single abusive tactic under the sun to the point that a couple of mutuals unfollowed me I think because of him? There's no way for me to know but they're mutuals now so I assume that was the cause. [...] He keeps stalking everyone I follow leaving comments, likes etc etc. I'm so tired 😩

Here, I would also like to cosign Courtney's warning on this. Do NOT harass anyone over this. Do NOT send anyone ugly messages. I will eat you alive.

I don't want to start drama and I don't expect you to respond to this but I think you deserve to know what's being said about you. tumblr. com/transfagbenny/738678589192552448/and-id-appreciate-if-we-stopped-using-the-terms

i actually am going to address this because this person has been lying about what's been going on for months and they've apparently been harassing other people for months if not years, so. it's time to put an end to this.

before i start though i want to make it abundantly clear that if you take this as an opportunity to do anything other than block this person, then you are trash. do not send him messages. do not tag him in things. do not harass him in any way. leave him alone. if you need to block, do so and then move on. hate mail and harassment is disgusting behavior and i don't want to be surrounded by anybody who engages in it. and if you do it on my behalf, i think you are worthless and i want nothing to do with you.

so, this is what happened: back in february of 2023, an anon asked me if i had any opinions that would get me canceled with the dean girlies. i replied, "oh now we’re talking!! hmmmm let’s see. i don’t care about benny at all. deanbenny does nothing for me. deanbenny is dust. it is dust. drowley rights forever" and i did not tag it because i'm not an asshole. bear then sent me a message that at the time i thought was funny/cute because his url reflected that he was obviously a huge benny fan. we had a very cordial exchange. everything was good. we chatted a little bit about how neat it would've been if benny had been played by a black actor and how the racism problem with gordon would've been fixed if gordon had been played by a white actor. not all of our conversation is visible anymore (and i also don't think all of it was on this post anyway) because i've since blocked him so his replies no longer show up on my posts. the point is: everything was fine. it was a good tumblr exchange. he continued to follow me. i did not follow him then or at any point.

the problem is that he kept coming onto my posts and into my inbox to try to make things about benny. that is not okay. i had already said that benny was a character (and deanbenny a ship) that i was not interested in. to me, this is an obvious boundary i've established that he repeatedly crossed. it's not an egregious violation, obviously. more than anything it's annoying. what he should've done, if benny was that important to him, was unfollow me and move on. but he didn't and i indulged him for awhile but at a certain point i thought, "okay maybe if i stop indulging him, he'll take the hint." so i stopped responding. he did not take the hint. he got worse and he even started commenting on things that he couldn't make about benny, just to willfully misinterpret things i said and taking them completely out of context. unfortunately, i don't have receipts for any of this because at the time i didn't know it was going to become an actual problem (however I have since learned that this is an established pattern of behavior he engages in, so you can probably find examples on other people's blogs).

it got so annoying, though, that i very carefully broached the subject in a private server with people i trusted. without naming any names or using any incriminating language (i.e. not specifically referencing benny), i basically said that there was someone being annoying about a specific character on my posts and i wasn't sure what to do about it. immediately, a handful of people replied with some variation of "the benny stan? he's been doing that to me too." i do have receipts of this (and an entire server to back me up) but i hope you can all understand why i'm not going to provide those or name names (or ask anyone to get involved publicly). the point is, it became apparent that i wasn't the only one and this was a pattern of behavior. i also learned during that conversation that bear has a history of harassing people and calling someone racist or a transphobe if they block him.

at that point, i decided not to rock the boat. i would just continue to ignore him and maybe he would get bored and move on. well that obviously didn't happen. he kept doing it and as a fun added bonus, he started to make vague posts about me. the thing is i don't actually care if he vagueblogs about me. it's his blog. he can do whatever he wants. it's none of my business. i mean i personally think he should've just unfollowed but, again, his blog, his choice. it is annoying that every single time he would do it, someone would send me a link or a screenshot of him doing it, but that's not really his fault. so, again, i just ignored it.

this is where we get to the incident in question. after a private discussion among a small group of friends, i posted this obviously joke poll at the insistence of @letterstothedevil, a tumblr user who has given me permission to include her in this.

the original message about the poll:

the permission:

now EYE think it's abundantly clear that the poll was a joke amongst friends, but maybe it wasn't, and i'm not going to fault anyone for not magically knowing that. i am, however, totally willing to fault someone for being a gigantic asshole. bear commented on the post and i, admittedly, gave a somewhat dismissive response because at that point i was so tired of him being willfully obtuse and twisting every little thing i said that i just didn't want to bother. he then went and made a series of not-at-all-vague posts calling me racist and claiming that i simply do not care about the racism in the show and it's obvious because i've never ever discussed it on my blog (which is a hilarious lie given that i'd specifically discussed it on my blog with him). at that point, there was no reason not to block him. he was already doing the thing that i didn't want to deal with. so i did. and i thought that would be the end of it.

again, i was wrong.

i then started to get anon messages daily about benny and deanbenny and how i'm racist for not liking benny, etc. this was harassment that EYE was on the receiving end of. nobody else was a victim of the messages i was being sent. they were sent to me and it is not my job to make sure other people are protected from the harassment that i am experiencing. i'm pointing this out for two reasons: 1. because i did try to protect bear from it for awhile anyway. i knew that people would assume it was him and at the time i was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than the fact that i didn't think he could send me messages since i blocked him. and 2. because when i did finally start to respond to some of the messages, bear acted like he was somehow the victim in all of this (and continues to act that way to this day).

i don't know if bear had (or currently has) anything to do with any of the messages i get (which, thankfully, have slowed considerably). what i do know is that at no point during any of this happening did he stop looking at my blog and vagueblogging about me.

when i finally did answer a few of the messages, bear had a bit of a meltdown about it. i know this because he used a separate account that i hadn't know existed to message me and because he talked to one of my friends about it. (i'm not going to name that person but if they want to get involved publicly of their own accord, that's up to them lol). i'm also not going to share screenshots of what bear said to me because he explicitly asked me not to (it's also the reason i'm not sharing screenshots of the numerous receipts i have of the things he's said and lied about on his blog but, unless he's deleted any of them, you can go and find the posts yourselves.) what i am going to share is that in the message he sent to me, he flat out lied about his behavior. he told me he hadn't been vague-blogging about me, that he would never ever do that about anyone, and that he would certainly never harass someone (all things that i have receipts of him doing).

it took me awhile to respond to this message because i was still trying to be gracious about the whole situation. i recognize that he is much younger than i am and i think it's important for me, as a full blown adult, to take that into account. i had a private discussion with a few trusted friends about how to handle this because it was important to me to not let him off the hook for his behavior and for lying just because he's young. this is what i ended up saying:

his response was to double-down on his lies (while, hilariously, vague-blogging about me and the whole thing) and then go into victim mode about something so completely unrelated and far-fetched that i decided i simply wanted nothing to do with him ever. (this is when he asked me not to share screenshots, so i won't, but this is me saying that i have ALL of the receipts, bear, so if you continue to lie, you will not like what happens.) i blocked his alternate account and tried to ignore him.

the harassment continued. again, i have no idea if he was actually part of it. the vagueblogging continued. he started to do it to other people he associated with me. many of them blocked him because of his behavior. i continued to answer some of the hate i received, continued to ignore and/or block most of it. it got so bad that i was sent seizure bait on more than one occasion, one time bad enough that i actually ended up going to the ER. there are receipts of all of this, too. you can see on my blog the messages i've been sent. i think at one point i even shared a snapshot of what my inbox looked like. i've shared privately with friends (who can confirm if they want to, but no pressure) screenshots of the kinds of messages i get that i don't respond to. the point is, that for a period of months, i was relentlessly harassed. and at no point during this time did i say anything to or about bear (or anyone else). the most i've done is respond to messages that have been sent to me. i've largely sat quietly while this thing happened to me and bear continued to make posts about me and act like he is somehow a victim in this. he's assumed things about me and my identity. he's violated boundaries i've set. he will not let this go. and i'm not the only one he's doing it to.

i'm so fucking tired of it. leave me alone. leave my blog alone. leave my friends alone. leave any and all of the people who have blocked you for your own inappropriate and obnoxious behavior alone. that's it. that's the end. none of this would be happening if you would just respect other people's boundaries. i don't want you on my blog. i do not want to interact with you. i don't want anything to do with you. that's it. the end.