#ya'll are a joke

[eye-in-hand]

goyim really compare jews to nazis and think they're clever lmfao

[densewentz]

rookanis players: why isnt Lucanis' romance more passionate, more physical!! Why is he so subdued and quiet!! You barely even kiss!! Lucanis, fresh out of a year in a demonic torture pit, having just had one of his two remaining family members taken from him just as he's freed, almost losing Treviso to the elvhen gods which are a) apparently real and b) that he's apparently now responsible for killling and who, oh yeah, also is always literally on the brink of exhaustion because he can't sleep or his spite demon goes around causing mischief and sniffing people: rook, mi vida, please give me a break

[eye-in-hand]

LmfaO I'm on this idiot's list is it because I refuse to believe any fundraiser on tumblr is vetted when they refuse to be transparent? Because thats the only thing I'm "guilty of"

This clown lmfaO

Their list is of jews they don't like because they're a racist

there's a new (((zionist))) blocklist??? am I on it???

[galaxysugarr]

There's a new TSAMS ship in town:

Current Eclipse x Earth, also known as ShadowPlanet.

Always silently reminded of this silly art i drew for discord from a "Monty nightmare scenario" a month or so ago, before the events.

Eclipse n Earth sillies

[leliwardens]

At this point it's one of those "all you can do is laugh" kind of situations that one of the earlier discourses was about returning legacy characters costing resources/money (exceptionally fair) but also do you WANT US TO KILL THEM because we will HAVE TO DO IT since we NEED BAD THINGS TO HAPPEN and then like, the only returning legacy character to die or even just have something bad happen to them is Varric in the first ten minutes of the game lmfao.

[spacebubblehomebase]

I just noticed, in your HHStargazers AU no one has pupils - except for Alastor and, if she's canon, Carmilla. Does that mean slit pupils are a sign of a demon in disguise?

Good eye! 👈👈👀 (Pun unintended.) Though I don't really plan for this trait to be repeatedly shared amongst the disguised demons. Mostly to not limit my designs to an obvious tell. But the slit pupils were indeed intentional flaws I added in for those two in particular. Because according to MY headcanon, both angels and demons are beings beyond human comprehension. Thus, it's only to be expected that even when they TRY to fit in, they'll be unable to keep EVERY aspect of their uncanny nature concealed. At best, they're imperfect imitations of what "normal" should be. It just so happens that in my AU, angels have a much easier time concealing most of their little quirks and oddities away than the sinners for my own reasons and as for WHY no one ever grew suspicious of the eye thing, it's because Charlie's curiosity could be easily curved. While for Lucius to point this out, he'll have to admit that he's been staring at Alastor's eyes a lot whenever he gets close enough to drown in the depths of his gaze and- EHEM!!! Which he's NEVER done, mind you! AhahaHAH- What slit pupils??? Never noticed those before. Nuh-uh. NO siree. NOPE! Lucius is normally so, SO normal about Alastors VERY much normal eyes in a TOTALLY normal amount of normal. A-ANYWAAAYS!!! Lucius would also be a hypocrite if he was bothered by them considering his own occupation and the people he's usually surrounded by (yet to be revealed). As for the other humans, Alastor doesn't care enough about their opinions for it to be a threat to him and people often just avoid the guy unnerving them with his creepy ass stare. So it's all good! Hope you like these bonus fun facts! 'Cause I have a feeling I left you with just as much questions as answers, but that's the fun of an ongoing story, yeah? Stay tuned~! 😉✨️ -Bubbly💙

[eye-in-hand]

people really be like "jewish vermin are nazis" lmfao do you hear yourselves

How does it feel to be a proud nazi and knowing it's your actions and behavior that will guarantee your people will get the delight of huffing Zyklon B again soon? Thankfully this time around no one will shed a single tear for you vermin 😂

we’re nazis but also we’ll be huffing zyklon b

lmao you can’t make this level of dumbass buffoonery up 🤪🤣

calling jews vermin? groundbreaking.

in other news:

you forgot the customary “kys” lmaooo

[allastoredeer]

Malicious compliance king Alastor reminds me of a post I saw a million and one years ago where the OP (fingers crossed they see this and chime in) described a headcanon they had about alive Alastor bringing in his fiddle to play live on air, being told 'don't do that again,' by his boss, then immediately turning around the next day and bringing his trumpet. Love this stinky bastard man so much.

YESSSSS!!!!

Malicious compliance king Alastor in both life and death.

I love Alastor going against the status quo, especially when thinking about his time on Earth. He's got "fuck the police!" energy.

[daily-odile]

Odile patting Molly Epithet Erased on the head, you know why

have two bc i care them

[moonymelly]

POV: Biggerler if he actually made it to the freakin' ball in time and he got to dance with a few lucky anons who were bold enough to ask for a dance with the one and only, him~~ 🥴💗

[eye-in-hand]

people on here that think they're in the right because antisemitic posts get thousands of notes and jumblr's posts get around <2000, mostly from other Jews, are just like the white people who hated the civil rights movement in the 50s and 60s.

[umbralsong]

The writing disparity gets to me sometimes.

I love and relate deeply to Karlach. Down to certain details, in fact. I'm currently finishing her arc on the friendship route and it is touching. The voice acting, the emotion, and the death acceptance are all powerful.

Which is all the more reason why Wyll's storyline - as sweet and genuinely heartfelt as it is - is so disappointing.

Baldur's Gate is his city. The home from which he was exiled for saving.

What does he get in Act III?

Well, if you save Karlach, complete disrespect. Aside from Gale, Wyll is the companion you can treat the cruelest. Only Zevlor, Florrick, and Ulder recognize him at all, and all comment on his hellish disfigurement.

You have to time your rescue of the Grand Duke or Wyll loses his father because Mizora kills him. His abusive, canonically evil patron is permanently added to your camp and she stays near both Ravengards. You can kill Raphael. You can't kill her.

You can call him, the only Black love interest, hideous when he proposes (at least calling him a "devil" is somewhat in-universe reason to reject him, I guess?). Ulder has nothing to say to his son's upcoming nuptials. He's the only love interest without a sex scene. But Mizora gets one.

I fully believe there is an interesting story in Wyll's arc. His goodness is an interesting complication in his pursuit of power. But it's clear the writer was far more interested in writing for Lae'zel.

I mention Karlach because she's a late addition, and yet there is a distinct difference in the care and quality of the writing. Mizora occupies a significant portion of Wyll's time, and with their relationship scrapped, it is exceedingly racist (it is even if they weren't a pair - I'm just pointing out their dynamic was meant to be very bitter exes).

Maybe it's the writer in me, but this sort of content disparity is enough to make me avoid certain options. Durge included. It speaks to something I just can't accept; incompetence, favoritism, and disrespect. I do not believe in including characters I do not appreciate in my work.

In this case, I'm considering it the last time I recruit Karlach. Wyll deserves his dignity and for his abuse to be taken as seriously as everyone else. He's already lost an eye and soul to Mizora. She won't take his body too. Next playthrough, he'll be mostly himself. He'll return to his city and be celebrated.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 20

PREVIOUS

FF had watched more than a few self-defense videos when he believed that Andrew Minyard was looking for a dark alley to stab him in. He had learned how to turn the attacker’s momentum against them. Had learned about disarming the person trying to stab him.

He’d even had Matt teach him a few punches claiming that it was for the dust-ups that tended to happen on the court.

He, naturally, does not use any of that knowledge because his mind immediately reverts into Lizard panic mode the moment Jackson Plank takes another step forward with a knife (HUGE. Is it wild that he is thinking about Crocodile Dundee right now?)

“If you come quietly you won’t get hurt.” Jackson says and he reverts to who he is as a person and he freezes. His bravery was used up maybe it was only ever tied to great pump up songs and now in the silence of the alley he is back to being Stone-Faced Smith.

“You’re going to dial up Wesninski and if you don’t say EXACTLY what I tell you to then I’m going to have you SING in agony.”

Y’know in that moment he stops thinking about Crocodile Dundee.

He thinks about a movie that is far more ingrained in his mind than any number of self-defense videos or one-off lessons with Matthew Boyd where he’d been trying not to flinch. A movie he had watched in better days with his family and had been a favorite of his Grandma’s (and his).

He thinks about Miss Congeniality.

Sandra Bullock as Gracie Hart has taught him everything he ever truly needs to know when he takes a step back and Jackson comes at him.

He strikes right at Jackson’s nose with the palm of his hand.

“SON OF A-“

The knife is dropped and FF kicks it under a dumpster.

FF grabs the single weapon he has on his person.

The McDonald’s Megamind Happy Meal Light Effects Brainbot.

He points the LED light straight at Jackson’s eyes and just like Aaron in the car on the way back, “Shit, that’s bright!” And now completely blinded by a combination of watery eyes and LED McDonald’s toy he proceeds to SING just as Gracie Hart had taught him.

S - Solar Plexus. He punches Jackson there as hard as he can.

I - Instep. He smashes his booted foot down on the inside of Jackson’s shoes (who the fuck wears LOAFERS to a kidnapping?)

N - Nose. He’d feel bad about hitting it again if Jackson wasn’t y’know…a hitman out to hurt Captain Neil.

G - Groin. He may have to give himself just half a second to apologize to all of mankind for what he is about to do. His step brothers had definitely kicked him in the groin plenty of times to try and get a reaction. It’s an art to not let anyone know that your ball has retreated up into lower intestine. He kicks Jackson as hard as he can (collegiate athlete) with the boots that Nicky had let him borrow. He is right on target with the toe of his shoes.

Jackson goes down.

The next thing he does is not something Gracie Hart had taught him but does still feel like the right thing to do in this situation. He kicks Jackson in the head and the man goes limp.

If FF throws both hands up in the air and lets out a “I am Miss Congeniality!” Victory cry into the alleyway well no one is around or awake to know that.

He feels like he deserves a sash and a crown and some flowers.

He looks down at Jackson and then over at the van the man had hopped out of. He was definitely PLANNING on kidnapping Captain Neil so he probably has like…some kind of restraint?

Well, better to completely subdue this guy before he tries to figure out the game plan for Romero. Wait, what’s that next to the Crocodile Dundee knife, are those...?

***

Roland is calling for a second time.

Andrew had let it go to voicemail the first time. It was usually Roland complaining about Nicky, Aaron, or Kevin doing something exceptionally stupid in their inebriated states. They have a system. Roland will call and leave a voicemail detailing the dumb shit his family has gotten up to and then he’ll let it go.

If Roland calls twice then there’s an issue.

Arm still around Neil’s shoulders he answers the phone, “What.” He asks.

“You need to help your new friend. There’s some guy following him, he’s armed and dangerous and looking for someone to grab to get Neil’s attention. He tried to lead the guy outside but he’s standing watching it for now so there might have already been someone waiting?” Roland gets out in a rush and Andrew is up and moving towards the stairs even as he’s closing the phone to disconnect the call.

Neil, of course, is right on his heels. “What is it? Did something happen?” Neil asks and they are up the stairs and pushing past Frank and his stupid pineapple shirt. Andrew spots Nicky and he spots Aaron.

“Get Nicky and Aaron somewhere safe. I need to go help Smith with something.” He says because whoever this is wants Neil and Andrew will not let Neil get within grabbing distance and won’t mention it. Neil, blessedly, does what Andrew asks without question.

Andrew scans the crowd and finds a man whose gaze goes between his phone and the back door.

A face that Andrew had memorized.

One of Nathan’s surviving men.

In the same Zip Code as Neil.

And that man has the audacity to still be breathing.

He looks and Nicky and Aaron (drunk, drugged, and useless because Andrew had wanted them to be) are with Neil and Roland is directing them to the backroom.

Andrew goes out the alley and can feel Romero’s eyes on him.

He’s prepared for a lot of things to see out in that alley. He’s angry that FF hadn’t just come down and grabbed him and Neil (he does not need TWO martyrs) and he wants to know what the fuck FF was thinking (or if he was thinking at all). Even with that anger he does not wish to see FF’s blood spilled all over an alleyway because Andrew’s family needed to be protected and FF was the only one sober enough and aware enough to do it.

He knows what Nathan’s men are capable of.

Knows that Romero was one of Nathan’s best so if there is someone out in the alleyway then it’s likely one of his other bests.

FF doesn’t even know how to use a knife. He had asked and FF had firmly declined every time Andrew had brought it up after the first fainting incident. “I’m not interested in learning that. No.” Had been the standard response.

He knew FF had at least taken a lesson or two from Boyd on throwing a punch considering the one he shot out a week ago when a Striker came at him after the third time FF intercepted a pass.

Still, Andrew had not anticipated coming out into the alleyway and finding an unharmed FF securing an unconscious Jackson Plank’s arms behind his back with fuzzy handcuffs.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asks and FF looks up at him with a flush on his cheeks.

“It’s not my fault this is a weird sex alleyway! They’re the first thing I found on my way over to the van to look for actual restraints.” FF says immediately and Andrew almost laughs at the insanity of it. “Wait, where’s Captain Neil?” FF looks around nervously.

“He’s with Aaron and Nicky in the backroom. Roland gave me your S.O.S.” Andrew says even as he quickly makes his way away from the door and towards FF. “Romero is watching the door. Let’s give him a reason to come out.” He says going over to Jackson and when he rolls the man over he raises an eyebrow at the piss stain on his pants and the blood dripping down his nose.

He looks to FF who resolutely does not look back at him.

It’s a story he’ll get out of his friend eventually. Looks like FF didn’t really need those knife lessons. Something settles a bit more in Andrew, it’s nice to have someone else in their group that could handle themselves in a fight.

Andrew finds a phone and FF rolls Jackson back onto his stomach, “He could choke on his own blood.” He shrugs and Andrew wouldn’t care if Jackson choked on his own blood in fuzzy handcuffs in a back alley but he can understand FF not wanting a murder charge.

Andrew looks at the phone and sees the the swipe pattern clear as day. It takes him two tries to get the order right but then Jackson’s phone is available for him to get over to the texting app.

The texts he reads there make him angry. There were a lot of plans on what the two of them were going to do to Neil before his body was offered up to a different crime family to show that Romero and Jackson had no loyalty left to the Wesninski line.

He types out a text to Romero that will have the jackass come out thinking everything had gone well and they had two hostages. He looks over to FF, “You ready for round two?” He asks.

“There isn’t a tap out option right?” FF asks and Andrew laughs at the joke.

Always cool under pressure it seems.

“No.”

“Then yeah, I guess just hit send.” FF says with a shrug.

Andrew does just that.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Didn’t wanna leave ya’ll hanging on that particular cliffhanger for too long ;)

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson​ @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo​ @next-level-mess @youreonlylow​ @interstellarfig​ @notprocrastinatingatalltoday​ @percyjacksonfan3​ @queenofcrazy27​ @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares​ @spencellio​ @adinthedarkroom​ @harpymoth​ @sufferingjustalilbit​ @anxietymoss​ @oddgreyhound​ @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken​ @ken22789​ @atiredvampire​ @isoldescorner​ @not--a--pipedream​ @azure-wing​ @bushbees​  @roonilwazlib-main​ @crumplelush​ @foldedaces-paperbirds​ @thesenseinnonsense​ @let-tyrants-fear​ @ketchupfriesandallthingsnice​ @legowerewolf​ @deadlydodos​ @but-we-respect-his-craft​ @cariniqe​ @zanypersonapricotbiscuit​

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it  right but you didn’t  get a notification there might be something  switched around in  your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

[ikarosapollo]

"what's gayer caitvi lesbian sex or j-" caitvi. they literally had sex.

[skinsonupdates]

BRISBANE SUPANOVA 2024

WE ARE! A MONTH! LATE! BUT NEVER FEAR SKINHE IS HERE AND HE HAS BEEN TO HIS FIRST EVER CONVENTION!!!!!

He had an absolute ball meeting so many people who love him and have been waiting to meet him!! And some who definitely weren't expecting to see a plush skinhe in the wild lolol. He helped us look after @crisisaegyls table!

pictures below cut!

He even got to hang out with his older brother Shithe, who lives with their maternal parent/creator @vaimetanyx

He got to meet new cousins! Dev's (@/themel0nman on insta) Jelly was an absolute baby and the brothers loved getting to know Akihaza's (@AkihazaKenji.bsky.official on bsky) Muscle-kun :D

Our boy was flooded with paparazzi (artists) looking for photo ops outside the centre

[photo credit: @fallowfrog]

[Photo credit: @vogels, Pictured: @mercykatze, hylincu/cosmic caution, @/esperfive on insta and twitter]

[photo credit: fatalfungi on bsky]

[photo credit: @/esperfive on insta and twitter]

[Photo credit: esperfive on insta, edited by @/kitz.wurld.shop on insta]

He had a huge few days but it wasn't just the convention where he got to spend quality time with artist alley icons. Skinhe had a fantastic time at a con celebration dinner!

Not sure who took this one - there was another group at the table next to us. If you were there at our table or the other and you remember who took this photo for us, please lmk <3 [visible from left to right: @/fallowfrog (already linked), @rat-king-co (or rat.king.co on insta), crisisaegyl, @/vogels (already linked), @ginkgoidea, and @/esperfive on insta]

Speaking of which, the next table over had a MARVELOUS blorbo pile going

[Photo credit: @/fallowfrog]

our buddies @/hololucent (on insta) and @actuallypunny spotted outside the restaurant

[Photo credit: @/vogels]

And a safe and restful journey home after a wild weekend

Again I'm a month late for posting about brisnova, but I wanted to make sure ya'll got to come on the journey with us, and share a reminder of the fun for those that were there over the weekend! Seeing everyone having so much fun with this little guy and enjoying hanging out together made this year's brisnova something really special. Plus, having svsss fans who weren't aware of our skinson plush recognise him in the wild was fucking hilarious. Also just people reacting to him in general. Some guy who looked like 60 was really taken by him LMAO. Can't wait to see you all again at the next convention!!!

[subzeroparade]

@tinygigas and I at it again with the Wizard of Oz x Bloodborne collab/crossover.

Wondrous beautiful whimsical delightful new additions here including This Particular Joke as well as Micolash as the Wicked Witch of the West, and more of the whole gang here and Gehrman and Laurence absolutely miserable about it here.