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yeahimaloser · 4 years ago

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Oh, To Be In Love 3

part 3

Hawks and you are the best of friends, but little do both of you know how in love you two really are.

Hi! I’m really sorry I haven’t posted as often, a lot has happened in my personal life.

But! I feel better so I made another chapter!

Warnings: none

Word count: 1935

Masterlist

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Hawks flew through the open air. The wind flowed through his feathers as he beat his wings in a fast and precise manner.

He looked down to see people looking up at him and pointing, no doubt in awe by the hero. He smiled to himself, and did a few mid-air tricks for the kids down below. Seeing their adorable smiles beaming up at him.

This was one of the many things that made him proud to be a hero, seeing the civilians look up to him. To let him inspire them to do better. To see the little kids look up at him in awe.

He looked down at his watch and his eyes widened, he was 5 minutes late.

You had lechtered him before about this, and he didn’t want that to happen again. For one, he hated lectures. And two, he hated letting you down.

But then he heard a scream.

He wiped his head and scoffed, a convenience store was being robbed.

What kind of hero would he be if he didn’t stop to take care of a simple robbery?

He had to stop and take care of the robbery, but he sure as hell wasn’t happy about it

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Hawks stopped on the rooftop of the restaurant that you two always met at.

There were very few places that would be discreet about a hero and a friend meeting for lunch. If this was just a normal restaurant, the paparazzi would have been alerted right away.

But a few of his sidekicks told him about this place, where if you paid the right people the right amount, you could eat without fear of the media breathing down your neck.

He was a little tired, but overall, very excited to see you.

he stopped to remind himself, he was just your friend. And he was totally fine with that.

He waved to one of the waitresses who recognized him, “The table nearest the window, that's where Y/N is.”

He smiled at her, “Thank you so much!”

He strode over to you, but paused for a moment when he saw you.

You were anxiously tapping your foot, looking out the window. The sun hitting your face made you look even more stunning than you already are. Your eyes shown in the light, you face practically basking in it. He hated how you made his heart feel, hated the way he wanted to just tell you how he truly felt. But he also couldn’t stay away from you, you were just that intoxicating.

He gulped down his feelings, and counted to make his way over to you.

“Ok, ok, ok, I’m sorry for being late. But hero business ya know,” Hawks said, shrugging.

You gave him a smirk, “Yeah I figured. So I already ordered for the both of us.”

Hawks gave you a smile, “Dove, you are the best!”

Hawks sat down across from you, still smiling.

As he did, the food came out, obviously you had ordered him the chicken.

“But seriously, I thought you were supposed to be the fastest hero. So why are you always late to these things?” You asked.

He shrugged, “I’m not always late. Your overexerting, and besides, being a hero comes first to the general public. Believe me, I always try to be on time, the universe just has other plans.”

You rolled your eyes at him.

“So anyways about the guy..” you said ominously.

He physically felt his heart sink into his stomach. But he refused to let his smile falter, even if he felt like curling up into a ball.

“Oh yeah! How did it go? What did he say?” He asked.

You just sighed, “Ugh, I told him I didn’t want to go out with him.”

That's when Hawkses smile fluttered from his expression. He genuinely wasn't expecting that, he was ready for you to tell him how happy you were. He was expecting you to forget about him and move on. He was expecting to lose one more thing he loved.

But here you were, telling him how you didn’t go out with the guy. Giving him a glimmer of hope.

“Why,” he didn’t mean to blurt it out, he was just so confused, “Sorry! I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but why? You have nothing to lose by getting into a relationship.”

You looked down at your water, swerling it with your straw, “Yeah, I know. But it's just,” you let out another sigh, “I don’t know, he just wasn't all that. He was mediocre at best. And I just didn’t want to settle, you know?”

As you looked back up at him, he felt his stomach flutter, “Yeah, I definitely agree. You could probably have anyone you want.”

You rolled your eyes, “yeah ok, what about you, your all the news outlets talk about. They say you're quite the playboy.”

Hawks wanted to wince, he hated those lies. He really didn’t go out on dates very often, he was just so busy and always in the public's eye. It was just always unfair because he really did want to find someone. But with his supposed reputation it just made it so much more difficult. Not to mention the fact that he was a busy hero.

But he supposed he wouldn’t have minded the rumors if you didn’t believe them. But in reality did it even matter? You and him could never happen, so why was he so upset?

But he just laughed it off, “Na, no ones catching my eye I guess! And besides, I’m not a playboy,”

“Ok,” you said, “but you could have anyone you want.”

Not really, I can’t have you.

“Hmm, maybe, but na. Too busy I guess,” he said.

“Mhmmmm, ok birdboy. Anyways, I don’t really know why I don’t wanna date anyone, i guess I’m just picky,” you laughed. “I mean, if he’s not as funny, cool, and kind as my best friend then why would I want to date him?” You went back to lazaly stirring your water with your straw, not looking at him.

Which he was very glad about, considering the fact that a light blush dusted his checks.

He really didn’t expect that. What did that mean? Were you just being nice? Or were your intentions deeper…

He tried to make himself less flustered, “Haha, what do you even mean? I’m always late to our hangouts, I cancel things all the time, and I always have new cuts and bruises that make you supper worried about me. If you want my opinion, you should try to find someone who’s not like me, birdy.”

You chuckled, “Yeah, your right. But still,” you looked back up at him, your eyes stunning in the sunlight, “your an amazing person, Hawks, so why would I want a person to date me if they're less than you? My goal is to find a person that's so much better than you, that you’ll end up being so jealous you hang out with me more.”

I’ll be jealous of anyone you date that's not me.

Hawks laughed, “Wow Y/N, you're so mean to me. And here I was thinking you thought I was so perfect. But what? You wanna make me jealous? That sounds a little much.”

You giggled, “Your so dumb. Maybe if I cancel plans to go on dates you would actually come on time.”

“Oh how you wound me!”

You really do.

In reality, if that did ever happen he would probably get jealous. But that's why he kept you at arm's length right? For that very situation?

“So really, no ones catching your eye? I mean, you're surrounded by models, beautiful heros, and just amazing people in general. And you're telling me you don’t like anyone?” you quirked an eyebrow at him.

He smiled and shook his head, “No, really I don’t wanna date anyone. I’m way too busy and plus, those models and beautiful people are so fake,” he looked down at his food, picking at it, “All they want is money, status and just tacky shit. If I want a relationship, I want it to be real. I want to love someone so much that I’ll do anything for them. I want a relationship where we cook meals together, I want a relationship where we just eat ice cream at night and watch dumb movies together. I just want something real I guess.”

He looked up at you, your expression was one of shook.

“Wow Hawks, I never thought of you as someone so romantic,” your hand crossed the table, you grabbed his hand. The warmth of it made him lean into his touch. “You deserve all that. You deserve a real, loving relationship,” you smiled at him, “Your gonna make someone so happy. I can’t wait to see who you decide is worthy of all your love. I can tell you're gonna choose someone that you deserve.”

He gave you a smile, “Thanks Dove, I appreciate it. And, I think so too.”

Good thing I already have.

You rolled your eyes, “Why do we like the bird nicknames so much? Most of the time they totally suck.”

Hawks fained offense, “I thought Dove was cute! And your the one who calls me ‘birdboy’ so don't act all innocent!”

You laughed, “Because your reactions are so cute!”

“My reactions? You're the one with the cute reactions!”

You two just kept laughing for a bit.

This was what he loved about you, you just made him happy. Even you just making fun of him made him happy. He just… just loved you. There was no way to get around it, all he wanted was to hear your laugh for ages.

But that's when his work phone went off.

As much as he loved being a hero, times like these made him hate it.

He gave you an apologetic look, he really didn’t want to leave you. He wanted to stay and talk to you for hours if he could. He wanted to see your smile and hear your laugh.

“I’m really sorry Y/N, but if they're calling me on my lunch break it must be serious,” his tone was sincere and sad.

He stood up and you stood with him, “Please Hawks, don’t worry. You have an important job,” you walked closer to him. “Just.. Just promise me you’ll be safe?”

He smiled at you, “I promise you Chicky, and I promise I’ll kick some ass.”

You giggled.

And then you kissed his cheek.

If you could hear his heart you might have thought that he was practically having a heart attack. But could you blame him? Your soft, yet firm lips on his cheek just made him all mushy and soft on the inside.

When you pulled away he almost wanted to say, ‘to hell with it,’ and just kiss your right there. To feel your touch again, to feel your lips against his. That’s all he wanted in the moment.

But he stoped himself.

He blushed pink, trying to hide it he rubbed his cheek, “Aww, giving me a good luck kiss? Thanks Dove, be careful yourself ok?”

You rolled your eyes, but your face seemed a little flushed as well, “yeah, yeah, just go birdboy.”

He chucked, moving to open up the window. Another reason he loved this restaurant was because they were fine with him leaving through the windows.

But before he left, he turned to see you leaving. But you too turned around to look back at him.

He gave you a reasering smile, and whispered under his breath,

“See you, my dove.”

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It’s done!!!

I hope you guys liked it!

#bnha hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #mha keigo takami #mha keigo x reader #keigo takami #keigo takami x reader #keigo x reader #mha fanfiction

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whatudottu · 4 years ago

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Because I've held this off for too long, once again it seems that @nukeli has beaten me to the punch with colour schemes. Damn my procrastination or whatever, but I only just realised that I didn't put any mention of the 'fodder' classes (Vehicons, Insecticons and I suppose Autotroopers since I'm including them) and wanted to put down my thoughts before writing this up.

An added bonus here is that certain character have different alts (based on character changes and even the heavier focus of 'robots in disguise' that these Decepticons are after) so it's not just me ranting about colour schemes.

Yes, this was why I was complaining about the wiki altmodes, so deal with the vehicles I found instead. May or may not be due to me using images as references haha.

The Autobots (you are here)

The Decepticons Part 1

The Decepticons Part 2

Going in order of my notes, we begin with Cliffjumper. He’s obviously a 1970 Dodge Challenger and what colours I’ve given him are on the image below. Nothing much to say about a definitely dead character other than I didn’t just wanna make him blue.

Next on the list is good old Doctor Ratchet. I’ve had it in my mind ever since Nuke’s one post that SG!Ratchet was like Medic from TF2, so I guess I took it and ran.

To play an opposite to regular Ratchet, he comes across as affable and friendly but is really just doing the things he loves to people he hates. Autobots, Decepticons, hates everyone. He despises Optimus Prime too, but he can’t do anything unless he wants to be cooped up in his berthroom reattaching his limbs for it. Believe him, he tried.

As for altmode and colours, I spent way too long finding that he resembles a Mercedes Benz G-Class ambulance that I was ticked to find out he wasn’t at all. I special looked for the green coloured ambulance because Synth-En, duh!

Breaking in after the Doctor comes our local wrecker Bulkhead. I don’t have much of a read on this guy, other than the fact that I thought it’d be a cool idea for him to lose a lot of his memories after ‘TMI’, ya know, from the Synth-En recipe? Certainly not set in stone, but it could very well contribute to my accidental theme of memory (which only has some small links in the posts I actually created).

With the help of my car enthused cousin I have given our not so loveable mech a Terradyne Gurkha, a little more military than the wiki’s off-roader Lamborghini that I’m too annoyed to bother to look at. I thought that the military origins and the black colour scheme sorta allude to something something mindless military man. yada yada.

Following him is our ever wonderful Optimus Prime, or maybe Lord Prime? Haven’t thought too much about that. What I have thought of is this master manipulator who mayhaps also be a little bit delusional idk we’ll decide in the car.

I always loved the idea of a smiling SG!Prime, as if there’s still hints of this benevolent leader that the original has, but it’s warped and meant to add fodder to the war, encouraging mechs to fight to their deaths all in the name of not only the Autobots, but their Prime. Also as a warped version of the original, I wanted Shattered Glass Optimus to be deluded in the fact that Megatron will change, change at least, to submit to the real leader. Ain’t happening. That’s sorta there with Ratchet too, but well, you read Ratchet’s piece didn’t you?

SG!Prime is consistently purple and black, and whilst I have found a Peterbilt Semi Truck with that wonderful colour, it comes with white instead. Think about it, this typically evil colour paired with often innocent white, that’s like perfect for what I’m going for.

Fitting that he’s next, it’s time for Prime’s Second In Command Ultra Magnus. I’ve... really got nothing for him. Maybe he’s still by-the-books but like he finds loopholes just to commit atrocities? I don’t know.

I’ve given this boy a Mack Trident alt instead of Prime’s Peterbilt, just for differences sake.

After Magnus, we got our little bug Bumblebee... or is it. Because I wanted to change his colours a bit without going into Beast Hunter territory, I wondered if bees come in different colours and, low and behold, they do!

As for the boy himself, I think he was one of the bots manipulated by Prime himself to join the cause and, given his almost rewritten personality, has only lived through to this point in the war by sheer luck. This mech is an absolute menace, feral and powered by the need for Prime’s approval, tearing others with denta and servo more often than with stingers and blasters.

Now you’ve noticed I haven’t been using his name? That’s because he’s now Blue Band (I just realised he’s still bb haha)! He gets his name from the Blue Banded bee, and I found a Chevrolet Camaro to match.

In line with BB’s younger status, feast your eyes on Shattered Glass Smokescreen! Oh boy isn’t he a delight. His hero worship has essentially turned him to a prime (pardon the pun) candidate for Optimus to form into his perfect super soldier, who already would die for this deranged mech even before laying optics on this grand Prime.

So, he’s an absolute suck up, a straight up spoiled brat that has it harder than Blue Band for Prime’s acknowledgement, and is actively showing off and bragging that he’s Optimus’ favourite (he’s not, he just encourages it because that’s the easiest way to get Smokey to do what he wants).

Almost to reflect that (perhaps another pun) I found this gaudy Chameleon Chevy Corvette that absolutely SCREAMS show off.

Regrettably partnered up with him after the passing of Cliffjumper, Arcee has run out of patience. Not everything she does is motivated by Airachnid (what kind of character would that be? not a fun one) but she does often enjoy killing those connected with her. After Tailgate, she’s gotten a little mad, but her effectiveness otherwise increased so others never bothered to ‘fix’ her.

Having lost both of her partners, when she absolutely hates another (read; Airachnid and Starscream because he still kills Cliff) the best kind of revenge is putting her opponents in her own pedes. Oh, that mech’s growing attached to one of his comrades? Slice and dice them before their optics. Oh, that femme is finally coming out of her shell and making friends? Gore out their spark and hope that humans don’t decide this would be the perfect time to practice what they preach and save the life of that same mech with a hard to perform surgery that may or may not have been lost to time.

Okay so she’s obviously a Kawasaki Ninja (haha that’s kind of fitting) and I was tempted to make her pink like other Arcee iterations, but look at this fancy stuff right here. He hoo glowy look pretty!

Almost in leu of an Airachnid archetype, Wheeljack comes in. Though still quite the wrecker and ever the bomb enthusiast, instead of actively celebrating his impacts and going solo to stop the rust settling in, he’d rather be offed whilst mechs are distracted by his pretty explosion and lay forgotten in the dirt.

I may have accidentally rooted the unintentional memory theme deeply with the wreckers (Breakdown included) and maybe just took it and ran, giving everyone else a little connection, but Wheeljack is probably the most explicit in this idea. He hates nicknames (which i super Ratchet uses to mock him here in Shattered Glass) because that’s like... naming something you’re going to keep to quote that specific fic which, honestly, I can’t remember. Wheeljack split from others to stop them from remembering him and put himself closer to a situation where he can die alone, as morbid as that sounds. No grand death, no stupid death and no straight up suicide (generally that’s a VERY impactful kind of death) so just a mediocre end is what he’s been looking for for a little bit too long.

As for his colours, I apparently have no taste and should not have a car because I really like what this image has going for it. This C3 Corvette is probably one of the few cars that fits the straight up box of a sports car that Jackie’s got, so I’m sticking to it, so no, don’t show me the wiki I’m ignoring it this was too painful to give up dang it!

Okay, finishing off the bots, I have the Autotroopers. Sure, I’m not using a reference of a car to show off the colours, mainly because there’s also going to be flier troopers too, maybe... surely... definitely. Most depictions of them are white, you know, goodie goodie, and I’m tempted to just laze around and do just that. Instead, I think a goldish colour would be fun.

Aside from sharing a key colour with Ultra Magnus, essentially a war lawyer, which is perfect for subjects made to obey, a nice glimmering finish almost feels like they’re all manipulated by Prime to believe in the Autobot cause. I suppose the special devision, if there is one, would be a nice Prime purple, sorta like if it’s Optimus’ personal guard if he actually had any belief they would do their jobs.

Oh boy this is so long...

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adultwithmuscles · 3 years ago

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I kept telling myself, self, you don’t want to do this. But ya know, I’m done lying to myself. Don’t @ me.

So I keep seeing this post go around.

And instead of posting my unpopular opinion there, I’ll just make a new post all about my unpopular opinion. Because this is just like wrong. In two ways, really.

The first being, that’s not how it happened. He brought him onto the show, and before the dude even speaks, he says he won’t talk to him. And it wasn’t until after Phil thwarted his plan that the dude, very unarticulated, murmurs out his plot to expose Phil for his own exploitation. To which, Phil replies, keep telling yourself that. Beeson then, stunned, tries to fight to stay on the stage while security takes him out. Dr Phil talks to the audience and says he refuses the publicize this story. He brought Beeson to the show to defend Bumfights, but after seeing him come out like this, it was obvious to him (and anyone with brain cells) that Beeson isn’t interested in having an honest conversation. He is there for the clout and to be known forever as the guy who dressed up like Dr Phil and went onto the Dr Phil show. But he certainly didn’t come there to defend his film. Because his film, just like this stunt, and just like Beeson, are exploitative pieces of shit that want to make a quick buck. I encourage you to actually watch the video. https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xev7m3

dailymotion

This brings us to the second way in which this is wrong.

Because I think it’s absolutely ABSURD that anyone with iota of intellectual honesty could look in a mirror and say that the dude who films homeless people fighting for money is equally as bad as Dr fucking Phil. Like seriously? I know you’re an edgelord who lives for disrupting the normies or whatever but do you even fucking hear yourself?

Dr Phil. Phillip C McGraw. The dude who has two PhD’s in psychology, both clinical and forensic. Who then went on to open a consulting agency for the US courts. That’s where he met Oprah and subsequently got his start in TV. And then from there, the dude has tried to do as much good as possible.

He’s created a number one day time TV show that highlights everyday people with serious problems. His show, at least in recent memory, has made strong emphasis on mental health. I’m paraphrasing, but Phil often says to his guests that they’re teaching tools, anecdotal cases that demonstrate a larger societal problem. He’s never trying to cure or diagnose anyone. He provides additional support to those guests that need it/take it. And not just support. Like actual multi million dollar facilities, for fucking free, as compensation for coming on national TV and airing your dirty laundry for the world to see. (I guess I should also make it a point here that, in America, where the show is filmed, healthcare is not provided by the government!!!). He and his wife, Robin McGraw, are continuous donors to a number of charities, including the Dr Phil foundation, his own foundation dedicated to helping disadvantaged families in the Gulf Coast. Robin started the When Georgia Smiled foundation, which helps victims of sexual violence and assault. Dr Phil also founded Doctors On Demand, which provides telemedicine at affordable pricing (again, America). But above all of these measurable things (and many more), Dr Phil gets average, everyday people thinking and talking about mental health.

Is any of this to say Dr Phil is without flaw? No. He’s not infallible. He’s done several questionable things that I can think of. Like play down the seriousness of COVID at the beginning of the pandemic (which, it’s also absolutely worth mentioning, he immediately went back on it and then spent the next year making his entire show hyper-vigilant about COVID). And there’s even allegations that some guests he’s helped actually were abused at the facilities they went to (I mean, we can have a completely different conversation about how culpable someone is for another person’s misbehavior, but kinda beside the point rn, just saying, another questionable thing). I’m sure there’s shit he’s done that actually wasn’t that great.

But to try and misconstrue any of that as being on par with Bumfights guy? Sorry. Miss me with that shit.

Especially like.. on the website that champions itself as the home of neuro atypical weirdos and the ambassadors of the Woke™️ community. I just find it exhausting that edgelords who want SJW clout perpetuate this pessimistic attitude towards anything and everything that’s low hanging fruit. Cause here’s a dude, actually like, trying to do good in the world in the exact areas of concern a lot of youth have, and he’s bastardized and read in the most uncharitable light.

But like. Beeson is actual scum, though. Not only is this characterization an injustice to Phil, but also undermines what an actual piece of shit Beeson is. Yes. Bumfights is about homeless people fighting, sheerly a money grab, and the subject of several lawsuits. And Beeson is now some mediocre MMA boxer that still rides off the 15 minutes Bumfights gave him. But yeah. Sure. What he does and what Dr Phil do are totally the same thing. The fuck out of my face.

#okay phew #got that off my chest #dr phil #bumfights #discourse #mental health #unpopular opinion #don’t @ me #ok to rb #ok to like #please share #edgelord #miss me with that shit #I have strong feelings about dr Phil #dr phil icon don’t fuck wit me #dr phil got shooters out here #I didn’t cite everything but honestly you can just Google everything like I did if you want receipts

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avaantares · 5 years ago

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Imma rant for a minute. (This is me being critical of a thing, so if you’re eschewing negativity right now, feel free to scroll on past.) :)

Sooooo I took a break from replaying FFVII:R tonight (last night, by the time this posts) to watch the stream of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Love Never Dies, a show I already knew to be terrible (but hey, you can't argue with free musicals, right?). Long before the musical opened, I’d read The Phantom of Manhattan, the book it’s based on, and that was... like... Hmm. Think of a bad fanfiction you've read. I mean a really bad one, one that gets every single character wrong, has the stupidest of stupid fiction tropes, includes ridiculously contrived scenarios to kill off characters and weird medical "science" and historical inaccuracies and a totally implausible plot, all mashed together just to reinforce someone's OTP which was kind of an unhealthy relationship to begin with and got considerably more unhealthy in this story, AND it includes a lengthy author’s note in which the writer bashes the author of the original work his story is based on and explains everything that author did wrong and how it should have been written, using examples from the fic writer’s own work to demonstrate.*

Then picture that as a $24.99 hardback.

So I knew the general story already, and I'd seen a couple of clips from the stage show, and from what I remembered it was all pretty forgettable. But like I said, free to watch, right? Nothing to lose but a couple of hours.

Oh. My. Goodness. I was not prepared for the full experience. It's like Phantom of the Opera and Cats had a (secret) baby that got shoved in a blender with all of circa-2004 Fanfiction.net and then pasted back together by a YA fiction editor’s intern. Despite a truly exceptional cast and some strong visual and set design, it wavered between cringe-y and I’m-going-to-hurt-myself-laughing levels of bad.

Mind you, it’s still better than the book, in which (SPOILER ALERT if anyone cares, which you probably don’t because if you’re the type of fan who would, you’ve probably already seen the show) Christine’s son is not the byproduct of a willing affair she had with Erik after she became disillusioned with her marriage, but was conceived after he kidnapped her at the Opera House, and... let’s just say consent was dubious, at best. (IIRC she was “half swooning” and not entirely aware of what was happening.) Also there’s some nonsense about Raoul being impotent from a war wound and never having consummated their marriage... But broadly speaking, the story is the same as the musical -- by which I mean it completely negates everything good and symbolic and meaningful about ALW’s Phantom of the Opera, to which the book was as much a sequel as it was to the original Gaston Leroux novella.

Love Never Dies fails as a sequel for a number of reasons: Every character you liked in the original? Assassinated. Raoul, who was willing to sacrifice his life for Christine in POTO, is now an abusive, alcoholic wastrel who has gambled his family into crippling debt. Christine cheats on her husband with a guy who has made a habit of kidnapping and threatening her, and who has actually murdered a number of people. Meg, Christine’s dearest friend and confidante, is now a washed-up burlesque dancer who -- again, SPOILER ALERT -- tries to kill first Christine’s son, then herself, then finally succeeds in killing Christine. The broadest take-home message of POTO, that kindness and love can heal even the deepest wounds, is undercut by these dramatic character reversals. Even the show’s title anthem “Love Never Dies” is contradicted by the love triangle at the center of the plot. Maybe love never dies, but that doesn’t stop Christine from cheating on her husband, Raoul from walking out on his wife and son, Erik from threatening to kill Christine’s child if she doesn’t do what he wants, Meg from betraying and murdering her best friend... yeah, let’s not take relationship advice from this group.

But beyond that, LND is just bad structurally. The Phantom’s opening number builds up to be a “Music of the Night”-style anthem -- a dubious choice, since it makes everything he sings for the next half an act feel flat by comparison. Then we go into a surreal Coney Island segment for a while, then a bunch of really awkward dialogue exposition gets crammed in, and then twenty minutes into the show we finally meet Christine and her family, which kicks off the actual plot. The pacing is uneven. The tone is all over the map, too, bouncing between Phantom-like operatic ballads and Jesus Christ Superstar-esque carnival rock numbers. (All of which, I have to say, the Melbourne cast knocked out of the park. The vocal performances were definitely not a weak spot in this production.)

While I really like a lot of Andrew Lloyd Webber's stuff -- I've seen a number of his shows on stage, some of them three or four times -- his titles seem to be hit-or-miss. For every Phantom, there's a Whistle Down the Wind. Some of that isn't his fault; a mediocre lyricist or book writer can do a lot of damage, even with good music. This musical had two lyricists and four writers, and it shows. But IMO, this is also not Lloyd Webber’s best work. Apart from the title song, which I’ve heard often enough to know it outside of the show, I can recall the melodies of... two songs? The score isn’t bad, it’s just not as instantly memorable as Sunset Boulevard or Joseph or Phantom. And a weak story plus average music doesn’t equal a great show.

I’m sure I’ve complained more than anyone cares to read, but I have one final rant about something that caused me to startle my dog by making some very screechy noises: When Christine arrives by ship, the Phantom sends a horseless carriage to pick her up at the pier. Mind you, this scene is specifically stated to take place in New York in 1905. The crowd of onlookers is utterly SHOCKED by a vehicle that moves by itself. “There are no horses!” someone exclaims. "How does it work?"

Apparently all four of the credited writers slept through history class, and also couldn’t be bothered to Google a photo of New York at the turn of the century. Automobiles have been around since the 1880s, and by 1905, New York had so many cars on the streets that the New York Supreme Court had to hand down a ruling guaranteeing that horse-drawn transportation still had the same right-of-way as motorized vehicles, because the motorists didn’t want to share the road. Heck, my own great-grandfather owned a car by 1895! Glaring, easily-avoided errors like this jar me so far out of the story -- even good stories, which this one wasn’t -- that they actually bother me more than other, more significant failings. At least do your basic research, people. Use Google. Grrr.

Anyway, I’m just rambling now because I can’t sleep and I'm on prescription narcotics for pain and my dog is tired of listening to me grumble. Don’t mind me; I’m not actually this negative in real life. 😅

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* I am not exaggerating. In the foreword, author Frederick Forsyth bashes Gaston Leroux and gives examples from his own works to explain how Le Fantôme de l'Opéra could have been written better. Like. DUDE. NO.

That book went straight into the donation box the moment I was done reading it. When Love Never Dies came out, I briefly regretted getting rid of it, but then I remembered how bad the story was and stopped feeling bad.

#Love Never Dies #andrew lloyd webber #phantom of the opera #musicals #Review #insomnia writes #long post

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yurimother · 6 years ago

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Top 34 Yuri Anime

From mid-February to mid-March Akiba held a poll asking viewers what their favorite anime series were. Over 50,000 votes were counted and in the end, they organized the 34 entries by votes to declare which series was the most popular. While not including every yuri series, these titles do vary wildly from pulse-pounding action to salacious dramas and subtext filled slice of life shows. Of course, the eternal problem with popularity polls is that they only show what is, well... popular. So I have decided to organize the same 34 series into my own list, based on a mixture person preference, influence, and historical importance to the genre. Note that this list is not exhaustive, as there are more than just these 34 Here we go!

34. Kuttsukiboshi – No surprise here. While impressive from a technical standpoint, as this two episode series was written, directed, and animated by one may, Nayoya Ishikawa, this impressive feat does nothing to sate the deep loathing I have for Kuttsukiboshi. I found it not only nonsensical but disgusting and offensive at almost every turn.

33. Maria Holic – Ok this one has some funny moments and a solid opening theme but mostly it is about a cross-dressing sadist abusing the hell out of one of the cringiest characters ever written.

32. Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid – ew

31. Seraphim Call – Certainly not the worst but age really took a toll on this anime. It is entirely lost to history, only obtaining 12 votes in the original poll.

30. Love To-LIE-Angle - FANTASTIC TITLE, gross series that was forgotten before it even finished

29. Kurau: Phantom Memory – whut

28. Hidamari Sketch – How did this below average series get as many anime adaptations as it did?

27. Candy Boy – 2007 - 2009 was weird. I actually like parts of this one, as it is really cute, but you have to turn your brain off because full out incest. I have not heard about this one since 2009 and that seems to be cool with everyone involved.

26. The Girl in Twilight – I had never heard of this before doing this piece, which says a lot about this anime’s cultural importance. But it is a good watch.

25. El Cazador de la Bruja – worth one good watch and that’s about it.

24. My-HiME – Raise your hand if you have heard of this one. That is what I thought, and yet it is #13 on the original list.

23. Pandora in the Crimson Shell: Ghost Urn – There is no real place to put this one and that says more about it than I ever could.

22. Blue Drop – Weird show, you should watch it, but not memorable

21. Simoun – This one is actually a sort of hidden gem but it is lost to history for most people.

20. Destiny of the Shrine Maiden – It baffles me how this mostly mediocre mecha series was so popular. That being said, the ending of episode 11 is some of my favorite directing ever.

19. Saki – Ya know, you never hear about this one but it is actually one of the most popular, and was #6 in the poll. It is basically a mahjong sports style anime so I have no idea how it is so popular but hey, lots of people swear by it. The ultimate you “love it or hate it” show for a lot of people strangely as well.

18. Netsuzou Trap -NTR – I held off as long as I could. While really popular I cannot stand this anime, my loathing of it is rivaled only by Kuttsukiboshi.

17. Sasameki Koto – A pretty well-known yuri series. The books are FAR better, but still an enjoyable watch beloved by many yuri fans.

16. Inugami-san to Nekoyama-san – It pains me to not be able to place this one higher, as it is one of my favorites and so hilarious, but overall there are other series that just deserve to be above it.

15. Konohana Kitan – Adorable, just adorable.

14. Black Rock Shooter – It's astonishing that an (admittedly awesome) character design can spawn multiple anime adaptations, a hit song, and its own franchise. The anime adaptation packs some good old-fashion emotional suffering and cool fights but nothing really beyond that.

13. Strike Witches – Far more popular and influential than it has any right to be. One of the most salacious shows on this list I always feel uncomfortable watching it but I do love the characters.

12. Yuri Kuma Arashi – The creators behind this were clearly not sober and probably could have used a cold shower for other reasons as well, but it is an INCREDIBLE anime with some of the best, although extraordinarily odd, writing.

11. Liz and the Blue Bird – Things are starting to get a bit difficult now, this one is actually hard to place. Being only a year old we are not sure of the impact it has but the movie is beautiful and stunning with some really bad pacing.

10. Sakura Trick – Full of fluffy fanservice, and pretty popular. This is one that almost every yuri fan will enjoy.

9. Maria Watches Over Us – The show that revived the sister-love story, a lot of the most popular yuri would not exist if not for this gentle diamond.

8. Yuruyuri – A yuri somehow becomes one of the best slice of life series of all time. Its fame is well deserved, as the memorable characters and dynamics can be enjoyed for many, many viewings.

7. Bloom Into You – What started as a run of the mill yuri series became one of the most well-loved. One of the biggest anime of last year and a darn good yuri to boot. I wonder how we will look back on this one a decade later.

6. Citrus – DEAR GOD. I know how controversial this series is for many people and that some of you want to grab pitchforks right about now in response to me placing this high on the list but hear me out. Whatever your feelings about Citrus, and there is plenty of valid criticism to make, it is a very influential and popular anime. It scored the top spot on Akiba’s list by over 5000 votes. For me, it holds a special spot as the first real review I ever wrote (thank you, Erica, for the opportunity).

5. Sweet Blue Flowers – We are in the top five now, yet I still feel that I have placed this series far too low. It is one of the most grounded yuri series and ten years later its impact on the genre is still clear.

4. Strawberry Panic! – This was my first yuri and will always be special to me for this. But, there is no doubt that this series is actually worse than a lot of the ones lower than it on this list. I can almost feel the seething rage directed towards me for placing what can realistically be described as an aging, parodied, melodrama so high.Yet, as I gaze through my strawberry colored glasses, I see that Strawberry Panic has a magic to it. For so many in the American community, it holds a special place and I have heard my story with it reflected so often that I just started writing it on a speech bubble on the inside of the glasses I wear at conventions so that I know what people are saying to me when my mind wanders off. There is a reason it is nicknamed the gateway of yuri.

3. Kase-san and Morning Glories – A simply stunning, beautiful, and realistic story, this OVA movie is unlike any yuri before it. It holds nothing back in its yuri in its realistic depiction of a lesbian relationship. Kase-san is the best anime to come from twenty-gay-teen it just might change the genre forever.

2. Puella Magi Madoka Magica – Speaking of changing a genre, PMMM, my favorite anime of all time, did something truly incredible. Not since sailor moon as such a social phenomenon sprung from a magical girl series. The perfect writing, postmodern use of tropes, philosophy, and just pure awe-inspiring nature of the show has not been forgotten years later. The legacy of such a widely celebrated series is nothing short of god-like.

1. Revolutionary Girl Utena – Was there ever really any doubt? This series defined what yuri is for a generation. It is one of the defining works of LGBT and feminist media and possibly one of the most important pieces to come out of 90′s anime. Yuri, as we know it may not exist, were it not for this legendary series.

Well, that was fun but exhausting. Of course, this list is not perfect and I am sure that you more than disagree with me in a few places and I would love to hear them. Send me an ask, post a reply, tag me on twitter @HolyYuriMother for the love of the great yuri goddess! I want to know what you think, what series do you love? What anime do you hate? What nonsense thing did I say that just deserves to be torn apart? I want to know!

You can check out the original list on Akiba.

Help create yuri and LGBTQ+ news, reviews, and content by supporting YuriMother on Patreon

#yuri #anime #ranking #list #top 10 #best #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#queer #gay #news #art #response #pmmm #madoka #citrus #bloom into you #kase san #girls #love #girls love #wlw #femslash

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stonerbughead · 5 years ago

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Maria watches friday night lights (#5)

I made it to season 3! And I’m gonna try to post more often to keep it shorter: so here are my thoughts from 3x01 - 3x03:

-oh wow principal Tami Taylor? What a Dillon power couple.

-I just SCREECHEDDD ah this transition from coach Taylor’s “On the field or off the field, there isn’t anything Matt Saracen can’t accomplish” to Matt saying “ugh I can’t get this knot out of my shoe” 😭😂

-aww ok ok so Tyra, Landry, Saracen, and Julie are seniors now?! Fun! And Landry and Tyra really are that on again off again couple huh. They continue to confuse me and keep me from having strong opinions tbh

-wow Tyra really has a different hairstyle ever season huh

“I got just two words for ya: Jumbo Tron.” Definitely not two words, buddy but okay, go on.

“You ever seen two people engaged on a Jumbotron at a football game? I mean, just think about it, love and football are the two greatest things in the world.” Yo I hate Buddy garrity and if I were Tami I’d kick his ass right out my office.

“We’ve lost four teachers to budget cuts this year. You really think we need a Jumbotron?” -🔥 comeback by my queen Tami

-Wow billy and mindy are an item now? That tracks actually. Townie love.

“You’re a rebound from Jesus.” There’s something there about Riggins being godlike. Like, sexually. Amen.

-these teachers need a union! But I love Tami giving the teachers the floor at this staff meeting. But how fucked is education in the US that twelve years later the teachers’ union is dealing with the same issues of lack of funding and teachers having to buy their own supplies?!?!

-oh JD’s dad is an awful, controlling menace! Here we gooooo

-yooo this scene was classic

-I am Tyra:

-but also #growth that Mindy and Billy’s shall we say semi-disastrous and impulsive proposal then motivated Tyra to reach out to Tami for help to get into college! We love that.

“I gotta start living my life as Brian. I’m never gonna be Smash again.” Damn. That hurts.

“See I don’t accept that fate for myself and I’m gonna do everything in my power to avoid it.” - YES TYRA GO OFF way to stand up mediocre white man vice principal!!!

-yasss reallocate those funds from the Jumbotron to academics, you go, Tami!

-aww Tim is so endearing with Lyla damn. We always say it on Bodysuits For Bughead and it applies here: men caring is just sexy.

When I tell you I CACKLED at this Buddy reaction

-keep fighting the good fight, Tami! But yeah did you really think the press would be on your side, girl? Pitting a husband against a wife is just low hanging fruit for this town’s football press! little do they know, Tami, that your husband immediately offered to get you more wine so who’s really winning here

-yesss Tyra running for student council and Julie helping her pass out flyers, we love this

-HA Julie walking out of Applebee’s to find Matt Saracen kicking cardboard boxes out of frustration. I miss these two, I’m excited to see them interacting again.

-ohhhh shittttt Matt did the very painful thing of going to find his mom just to help his grandma, what a caring boy. He just loves his grandma 😭

-awww the old team came to practice with Smash for college tryouts?! my heart

-i PFFFTed out loud at the McCoys: “oh, Lyla is a vision, Buddy. are you sure she’s yours?”

-omg poor Riggins being uncomfortable af at the fancy dinner. class tensions~

-listen I’m honestly soft at the idea of Matt and Julie slowly becoming friends again, him offering her a ride home from work and telling her about going to see his mom and becoming an emancipated minor was so sweet and felt natural.

My heart!!!

-“you’re cute when you rant” agreed, Julie, and I respect your game!

-I’m sorry Lyla should not have to apologize for thinking a finding Nemo quote as Mindy’s wedding vows was a joke!! I would too. 😬

-usually I’m on Tami’s side but I think I’m on Eric’s side when it comes to these McCoys, I don’t trust em. Plus once I saw that valet service? Eat the rich.

-here for Matt and Julie flirting at the party and getting busted making fun of JD

-Eric Taylor grumbling “chocolate fountain” is a mood I DONT TRUST THE MCCOYS

-and like, I get that JD is talented, but Eric is right that he’s 15, new to the team, and a freshman! Like in high school sports that shit does mean something. Right?

-omg the silent background so you just hear saracen’s heavy breathing as he tries to win this game! (And fails.) oh my heart!

-ew jd’s dad is literally SMILING about Saracen’s failure? What is wrong with you sir?

-Julie waited for Matt after the game?!?! I’m sorry y’all I ship so hard! This is precious

-Aw Eric is so broken up about Saracen’s failure. And Julie and Matt are just walking along talking about anything but football. The Taylors ❤️ Saracen and so do I.

#maria watches friday night lights #matt x julie #mine #friday night lights 3x01 #friday night lights 3x02 #friday night lights 3x03

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inspiringwhilerespiring · 5 years ago

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Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :)

Sooo here yall go <3

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

#survey #about me #haylee #thoughts #mine #questions #ask me anything #ask #lets chat #be my frieeennnddd

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ask-jumblr · 5 years ago

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Thank you so much to everyone who’s been constructive.

Both commenters, and the anons below who were open about what they’re struggling with. Since all of the asks were either hateful, or seemed to be addressed at me, the mod, I’m going to handle them.

Before you get too upset that I didn’t give all y’all equal chance to answer: I’m encouraging the anons to send in some asks dealing with the issues they’re mentioning, formatted in such a way that it’s easier for jumblr as a whole to constructively help. Based on their current asks, I can only ask questions about what they practically need.

Because I’ll be addressing the asks chronologically and the constructive asks come later, I’m going to put it all below the cut. If you don’t have energy today, don’t click through. Even the constructive stuff is heavy.

Here were the first two anon’s received:

Isn't Orthodox just exclusionary extremism? Aren't those the homophobes and transphobes who think you shouldn't be allowed to marry a non-Jew? Why aren't we staying focused on reform/recon Judaism?

It’s okay not to know things, although the assumption was a little harsh so I didn’t want to post it directly. In response I made a myth-busting post. Yes, it is American-centric, but here’s why: I can be pretty darn sure anon is American, or at least North American.

Given that you’re upset about intermarriage, you’re probably not Israeli. Given that the U.S. has the largest diaspora population, anon is likely American. Given that anon is referencing “Reform” Judaism as an alternative, they’re probably not in Britain (”Liberal Judaism”) or outside U.S./Britain/Canada/Israel (”Progressive Judaism” everywhere else).

Realistically speaking, I can’t call up every community everywhere. As an American coming out of a mediocre, Anglo-centric education system, I can only speak one other language with any competence and blurt a few words of a few more. If you want to know about a community in a specific place then please, please ask. There have been folks on here asking about communities all sorts of places who have gotten answers here. Jewish geography + the internet is amazing! When anon is American, with misconceptions about American Jews I’m going to assume such.

Orthodox Jews should probably stop existing.

This ask is hateful and non-constructive. Hence the threat to block.

After this, I got some anons who are getting at some problems that we can really work on. They aren’t American, so I’ve assumed they aren’t the first anon.

hey if your responses and views could stop portraying us jewery as being the only way things are done and that we somehow all have access to the stuff you do, that would be grand

(cont) or where there zero chance of finding a group of that community that'll accept me and not treat me in hateful ways. I'm sorry that Jewery outside the US/NA is that unfamiliar to you and that our viewpoints and experiences makes you uncomfortable but I guess that's the way US Jews deal with Jewish "outsiders".

I’m going to start with part 1 to stay in order even though part 2 is what gets me antsy to help ya. You’re right. I don’t have a ton of experience with non-U.S. Jewery. That’s why I tag thoroughly and encourage folks who don’t know the answer to signal boost. If you’re specific, someone else on jumblr can help you.

When anon asks are vague and, as they often do, reference U.S./North American terms for branches (”reform” rather than “liberal” or “progressive”), I’m going assume the anon us in the U.S. or greater North America. Most other respondents likely will too. Anon askers who want otherwise need to use terms that are more globally (”progressive”) or locally (”liberal”) appropriate, or give a little more locational information (e.g. city, country, region). Re-my new explanation above about American-centrism. I respect that you didn’t have the benefit of seeing the language in that ask, but I’m here to help you as much as I can without superfluously emailing every rabbi in every country for another anon who’s linguistically and statistically likely to be in New Jersey or Ohio or somewhere else in the U.S..

Now for part 2 (after “(cont)”), your concerns. (Getting something out of the way: Since you’re saying “Jewish “outsiders”” I’m going to assume you’re Jewish. However, many people reading this might not be; this audience has a lot of prospective converts. I want to point out that prospective converts aren’t entitled to conversion via any particular community. I might personally be dismayed, but it’s that community’s prerogative. Getting that community to a place where people who are already Jewish who are LGBTQ, have disabilities, etc. are accepted is going to be my priority if I were to harangue a community that’s not my own. In other words, people like anon. On that note...) I received another ask with a concern similar to part 2, by someone in a similar situation as a Jewish person under the LGBTQ umbrella whose only option is a community that won’t accept them. I’d like to answer these together. Here’s that second ask:

Not your first anon but there's no non-homophobic Orthodox community where I live. I live in Europe and maybe it is different in the US but the Orthodox communities here do NOT accept lgbt+ people. Or if they do it is under the "don't ask, don't tell" form of homophobia where you're accepted as long as you don't display it publicly or ask them to treat you as an equal in any way. So sorry for not feeling endeared to a group that have always hated me.

This means we’ve got a heck of a problem. There are Jewish people who don’t have a community and need one. Y’all (You all) don’t know me irl, but making sure Jewish people who want Jewish communities have Jewish communities is something I’m very big on. I’ve gotten some flack for being too welcoming or too focused on making sure synagogues are welcoming. I want you to know that we want you here. Unfortunately you aren’t close enough for me to personally offer you that hug.

You see, I’m a U.S. Jew, but I’m not one from a place like New York City where there’s a wealth of Jewish community options. (hint: #SouthernJews #ShalomY’all) I know those people near me who feel forgotten, ignored, scoffed at, or unvalued don’t always have another option (or that it’s a loooong drive and lots of gas money away). I am someone who has had to put in the work to build the community she wants and needs, and a community that is welcoming for the people she cares about.

Putting aside the extent to which I’ve had to patch up my own education while trying to make sure others aren’t on their own doing it, I’ve also had an obstacle you’ll find more relatable. I know it’s not obvious, I’m also under that LGBTQ umbrella (sexuality, not really gender from my current self-understanding). I’m largely closeted irl because being Jewish makes me enough of a target and is harder to hide. I don’t discuss it much on the internet because I don’t want #woke #discourse about myself as I figure out my own identity, and don’t want my own processing (yay for internalized -isms!) to hurt someone else. It’s fine that you didn’t know, but I want you to know now so that you can understand my experience:

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend in Israel who’s had to make community choices too. My friend (who is also under that umbrella) convinced me that I should go to a shul with a rabbi who was openly homophobic in the past because it’ll be the best balance between programming that meets my needs (adult learning! services!) and driving distance. The rabbi stopped being openly homophobic, so I know I can be in that community. But it’s not exactly my dream. I don’t plan on relying on that rabbi for psak or life-cycle events--at least not until I know more. Then again, I’m lucky. I’m lucky in that there are rabbis I feel comfortable getting psak from who speak my native language. I’m lucky that I know enough to know that a non-rabbi can officiate a commitment ceremony (and actually a Jewish wedding too...), and that I’m from a well-connected extended-family that is friends with rabbis elsewhere (whoot! Jewish geography!) who would happily come in to officiate for me (though it might be costly and they might only do commitment rather than marriage). And I’m lucky that my extended family would be supportive enough to do so for me (they’d be getting eager enough for me to marry anyone...). I’m also lucky in that I could drive even farther and hit a Reform community that’s been more accepting for much longer. It doesn’t have the resources or programming I need, but I would have hypothetical access to a place with other Jews that has gender-neutral bathrooms and a rabbi who hasn’t said anything (recorded) that’s unaffirming of my existence.

But what about people who don’t have access to an alternate community? Or for whom that other community is even father from being a good fit? With work, it is possible to make change. Do you know why that shul’s rabbi stopped being openly homophobic? Maybe compassion. But there was an outside trend too: the community shifted away from homophobia to embrace its LGBTQ members, and he was forced to follow. It’s quite likely that movement stances and responsum helped, but community organizing, changing minds one-at-a-time, those were definitely pieces of the puzzle.

I want this blog to be here for you in figuring out how to make those changes. I began an initiative on here called Tikkunity. It’s a goofy name for an important mission: help people find strategies to make their communities more vibrant, more welcoming, more supportive, more accessible, more whatever someone needs. The ones I’ve put out so far aren’t as heavy as your topic, but Tikkunity is also here for what you’re looking for. I’ve gotten in touch with some other blogs about topics that are less obvious for communities, and a bit heavier too. If either of y’all feels comfortable messaging me from off anon (just make a side-blog with a random url), I’d love to draft a post with you. Alternately, if you send something constructive and specific enough such as “I only have one choice of community and I don’t feel safe or accepted there as a [insert LGBTQ identity/ies] person. How can I make my community more accepting of [my existence/my partnership/my pronouns/etc.]? FOR: Orthodox and [LGBTQ accepting/affirming/or other word or phrase of your choice that describes people who would be in-line with your goal]” or “ I only have one choice of community (there aren’t many Jewish people near me) and I don’t feel safe or accepted there as a [insert LGBTQ identity/ies] person. Does anyone have recommendations of what to do and tools to help me do Jewish stuff to do without the big community? How can I find people from that community willing to join me so it isn’t as lonely?” then I can post it off the bat

As much as I’m not letting askers generalize Orthodox Jews as individually homophobic/transphobic, the U.S. isn’t a utopia for LGBTQ [Orthodox] Jews looking for communities. “Don’t ask don’t tell” is how many U.S. Orthodox communities function. You’ll notice that the Orthodox LGBTQ-acceptance group I linked (Eshel) is an activist-type group from within the Orthodox community. The most effective change comes from within communities, which is why I’d rather you talk to Orthodox jumblrs than me. There are many LGBTQ Orthodox Jews on tumblr who might be willing and able to help you make that change via advice on a Tikkunity post, connecting you with other activists, or via a longer-term messaging relationship as they make change in their own communities. While I don’t think Eshel formally works outside the U.S. right now, that doesn’t mean you can’t ask them about expansion or see if they can connect you with other laypeople community builders and shifters to provide mentorship and support.

If you can’t start within the community, you can start building alternate spaces with Jewish people you know who have been willing to engage with you. Even communities that are largely homophobic/transphobic aren’t a monolith. There’s lots of advice out there for people making “start-up” communities or “indepedent minyanim” or “chaburas.” It’s not fair that you have to do the work. But don’t take it out on all Orthodox Jews, individually, especially because some of them are on your side.

And if you’d rather move than make those changes then if/when you are able to move this blog can also be a resource for you. If you send in a message with the cities you’re considering and what you’re looking for in a community, someone in jumblr can likely help give some advice on where you’ll find the best community for you.

#ask-jumblr #mod talk #meta #blog #hate #anon hate #LGBTQ #LGBTQ Orthodox Jews

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snarkandsarcasmftw · 5 years ago

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tag games, ftw

I was tagged by both @rampagewriting and @heelsamizayn to answer this and it seems like a fun time and my brain’s being a bag of dicks rn, so whhhhy not... Here we go.

0) Name/Nickname? If ya wanna share it.

Ashley, AA, Snark - mostly on here. Oh and lil bit, but... family only.

1) If you could bring any two fictional characters (from books or film/tv) into the same world who would they be, what world would you put them in, and what would their relationship to each other be?

Uhhh... Uhhh... Okay, alright, hm... This is going to be an unconventional answer but.. I’d take Bucky and Cap and I’d drop them right into the middle of The Walking Dead. Hear me out.. They’re both military trained / enhanced superheroes and they can walk that line of having compassion and being totally ruthless if they must. I think it’d be neat. They’d be friends / psuedo brothers, of course.

2) If you could drop yourself into any fictional world from books or film/tv, which would it be?

Oh god, oh noooo.. Every part of the fifteen year old trapped within my old woman body is screaming at me to answer Harry Potter -cos magic.. But.. I’m going with The Walking Dead. Just for the simple fact that I could smack both Lori and Dale Horvath in the back of the fuckin head.

Alternately.. I’d really wanna hunt vampires with Edgar and Allen Frog, and the eighties were my shit, so.. That too.

3) What’s your spirit animal?

A cat or a raccoon. I have under eye circles, stay up late, eat only junk and I’ll bite if you take my food plus kinda chonky ( raccoon) and I like to take naps, I’m... adamant about cleaning / grooming plus, I like to sit around and give people side eye when they’re doing dumb shit. ( cat.)

4) What is the most unpopular opinion you hold?

NO. NOPE. NOT ANSWERING. ISSA TRAP.

Okay, since I obviously have to put something here, I’ll say it. And I’ll start with wrestling:

Seth Rollins is vastly overrated and I don’t get the whole.. Attraction to him. And the same goes for Cody Rhodes. Also, is it just me or are his fucking intros too long? Idk, maybe that’s me and my lack of patience. If you like either of these, sorry, continue to do you, but.. I’m not a fan and I honestly don’t particularly care about either and this is my own personal opinion. I’m allowed to have one. I’m not saying bad shit about either guy here, if you take it that way, it’s your own damn problem? I’m not telling you not to like them. I’m simply saying I do not.

As far as media goes : Fifty Shades of Gray is fucking dumb. I mean.. 10 page contract.. to get what has to be mediocre dick, at best? And it’s not even written with any regards to true BDSM concepts for the most part? Nah. I’ll pass.

And now, for one about our current situation: I think the idiots who hoarded TP at the beginning of this should be allowed to return things.. Provided it’s unopened, they have a receipt, and they don’t see a fucking dime of the money they spent and that the money from the returns goes to masks / other methods of protection for front line workers or straight into the unemployment packages and the stimulus thing. Like literally, the hoarder gets nothing, people who need TP / sanitizer / etc get UNOPENED NEW PRODUCTS and the front line workers get the proceeds of the voided returns. We all win here. (I realize this probably cannot happen, but. It’s one way to kind of... help this current shit show we’re all trapped in.)

5) How do you like to style your hair most often?

Uhh.. Down. I’m too goddamn lazy to be bothered.

6) I always love this overdone question - you’re allowed three books on a desert island, what do you bring? (Note: Survival Guides don’t count).

The Shining, The Dark Towers series - Stephen King, The Client - John Grisham and The Outsiders - S.E Hinton

7) Something new you’ve learned in quarantine/lockdown/corona times?

That no matter how hard I try, I cannot apply false lashes. That more than two noisy things going in the background is TOO MUCH. Oh and I’m pretty damn good at baking when I bother to try / don’t toss out the directions.

8) Favorite alcohol? (Or non-alcoholic beverage if you don’t drink!)

Haven’t drank in... a while-ish. But my favorite thing to drink when I do is vodka or tequila. Occasionally White Claw ( i know, i know.). Favorite non-alcoholic beverage is water lately.

9) Music you can’t stand? Music you love?

I’m gonna get torn the fuck apart for this but yolo.. I can’t get into K-Pop. I’ve tried. It’s just.. It’s up there with new pop for me. Older boy bands / pop stars? Not a problem. I just don’t like a lot of pop music and I can’t get into K-pop. If you like it, awesome. It’s just not for me personally. Beyond that? I love literally any other kind of music. I have a veeeery varied eclectic listening preference but my all time favorite? 80′s glam / pop or country.

10) Have a favorite herb?

FIRST OF ALL.. GARLIC.. yeah, it’s not a herb buuuut... yeah.. Anyway, for actual herbs..Basil, Rosemary and Sage.. Oh and cilantro. Cilantro will save your ass in a pinch.

11) What kinds of cups/glasses/bottles do you prefer to drink out of?

My big tol cold cup. Or.. my stemless plastic wine glasses, of which I have apparently lost.

12) Preferred mode of communication: texts, phone calls, emails, letters?

Text or email. I’m not... fond of making calls, but I will if I have to. I prefer texts or email. Oh, I do enjoy writing letters now and then.

13) What is your favorite weather?

Not too hot, not too cold. Not too sunny but not overcast and gray either. A light breeze. NO POLLEN.

14) What kind of lighting do you like?

Softer lights, for the aesthetic.. Overhead lighting, so my blind ass can... yannow... see. If I had my way, I’d have candles and string lights every where though.

15) What is the best thing you cook?

Honestly, I feel like it’s my chili or my stew. Alternately, husband seems to ask for chicken / bacon / ranch pasta casserole a lot, so... Idk.. I guess pretty much anything (except fucking hamburger helper, i can NEVER get this shit right, despite directions, sacrifices to the culinary gods and pleas/promises of my first born. It always turns out icky so I never cook it.)

16) Do you have a favorite font to write in?

Handwriting or typewriter fonts for the most part. Roboto when I’m writing / editing my own fics and such.

17) What is something you’ve always wanted to write in a fic, but you’ve been too afraid to? Or, what is something that you were afraid to write, but then you did and it ended awesome?

Honestly, I’m scared to death to write smut. Which is why I’ve been trying to write more of it lately. I won’t say it’s going awesome ( I’m pretty sure some of you sit and read it when I post and are like what the fuck... this isn’t realistic and this is so bad.) but it’s going.

I’ve wanted to dip my toes into writing for more obscure fandoms too. Like ones that I personally enjoy. As far as something I’ve always wanted to write? Horror. But I’m scared to death I’d fuck it up.

18) If you were in your favorite fantasy world, what would your weapon of choice be?

A sword or a knife. Machete, maybe?

19) Is there a commonly used expression/saying that you can’t stand?

While I agree with the answers J and K put to this “It’s in God’s hands, etc” - sometimes things are GOD AWFUL. The last thing I want to hear is what the reason God had for doing it is. So don’t tell me.

Triggered is a useful term.. if it’s used right. And I’m starting to realize that 95 percent of people DO NOT know the proper use. They think that being triggered =‘s a reason to bitch and tear someone apart over some miniature thing they’ve done. So now, when I hear it being misused, it fucking annoys me.

20) What is something that you would like people to know about you?

I’m a grumpy ball of rage. I’m petty as fuck and saltier than all the oceans combined in the right circumstances. But.. I can be a nice person and I love getting to know people and helping people or talking to them. Even if it’s hard for me to start it off bc I’m fucking awkward as fuck also - hence the reason it takes a while for me to actually... attempt... conversing with new people both IRL and on here.

I’m gonna leave this open to anyone who wants to do it bc Idk who has or hasn’t already and I don’t want to annoy people.

This was a blast!

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buzzdixonwriter · 5 years ago

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The Rise Of Skywalker Review [SPOILERICIOUS]

=0=

I’m going to post all the SPOILER stuff way below in section 3, so as not to ruin anything for anybody who hasn’t seen the movie yet.

You’ll get plenty of warnings.

=1=

In my old age I’m starting to divide creative works into three groups: Good, bad, and not-so-good.

A good creative work is any where the strengths overwhelmingly outweigh the weaknesses; a bad one is the obverse.

A not-so-good work is one where the strengths and weaknesses balance each other out.

It’s the kind of a work that will doubtless please those audience members who really enjoy the strengths in it, and equally irritate those annoyed by the weaknesses.

In my estimation, a not-so-good work is one done with straight forward intent and as often as not, a fair degree of technical and aesthetic competency, but fails to jell as a cohesive whole.

No one need feel ashamed for enjoying a not-so-good work, and no one involved in the making of a not-so-good work should feel bad about their contribution (unless, of course, their contribution turns out to be one of the weaknesses that should have been avoided).

Theodore Sturgeon famously observed “90% of everything is crap.”

I think that’s a little harsh.

I agree with him that only 10% of anything is good, but think only 40% falls into the crap bin.

Most stuff falls in the 50% I call not-so-good.

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise Of Skywalker is in that 50%.

. . .

The good stuff is really good.

Elsewhere I’ve posted my enthusiasm for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens and Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi hinge in no small part on just how emo Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) could get, and holy cow, does he ever deliver in The Rise Of Skywalker.

Easily my favorite parts of the picture.

Doesn’t really mesh with anything else in the movie but, hey, ya can’t have everything, right? (I’ll discuss his performance in a little more detail in section =3=.)

Other performances range from adequate to doing-the-best-they-can-with-the-material to okay-smartass-you-try-recreating-a-dead-actress-via-CGI.

The dialog in The Rise Of Skywalker is the worst of any film in the series, with the possible exception Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge Of The Sith, which I haven’t seen and have no intention of seeing (but more on that below…).

It’s not an attempt to depict characters talking, it’s a series of shouted declarative sentences.

Elsewhere I’ve referred to The Rise Of Skywalker as the best Jason Of Star Command episode ever made.

For those who don’t get the reference, Jason Of Star Command was a low budget albeit imaginative Saturday morning kid-vid Star Wars rip off by Filmation Studios.

To make sure the youngest kids in the audience understood what was going on, they tended to hammer home plot points repeatedly.

DRAGOS Jason! In just sixteen hours my space fleet will destroy Star Command!

STAR COMMAND Jason! Dragos is going to destroy us with his space fleet in just sixteen hours!

JASON Don’t worry, Star Command! I’ll stop Dragos from destroying you with his space fleet in sixteen hours.

NARRATOR (i.e., Norm Prescott) Jason has only sixteen hours to stop Dragos from destroying Star Command with his space fleet!

There is far too much of that in The Rise Of Skywalker.

Ten minutes into the movie, and there was already far too much of that…

The opening credit crawl reveals an off camera plot development that literally deserved an entire film of its own to fully explore.

There is no sustained coherent plot to The Rise Of Skywalker:

Well, we gotta do this,

now we gotta do that,

first we gotta find this thing,

then we gotta find that thing,

now I’m feeling blue,

now I’m gonna get encouraged,

etc., etc., and of course, etc.

Everything feel frenetic, not fast paced.

There are far too many scenes that exist just to sell action figures and toy vehicles.

There was a desire to tie off loose ends and say good-bye to favorite characters and that was a mistake.

It undercuts the urgency of the story (or rather, the desired urgency; the fact the film is called The Rise Of Skywalker means everybody in the freakin’ audience ALREADY KNOWS HOW THE DAMN THING IS GONNA END!

(This is not a problem unique to Star Wars. Gene Siskell famously upbraided Roger Ebert for spoiling the ending to the third Star Trek movie, to which Ebert retorted, “Oh, come on! They’re going to call a forty million dollar movie The Search For Spock and not find him?!?!?”)

There is one nice little breather scene (“little” only in screen time; visually it’s pretty big and impressive): The Festival of the Ancestors on the desert world Pasaana that gives a nice touch of exotic space opera flavor to the proceedings.

All of the Star Wars movies offer really great art direction and visual design, and The Rise Of Skywalker certainly delivers in that category.

Which makes the occasional mediocre special effects shots all the more obvious.

The Rise Of Skywalker has a few painfully obvious matte shots, a few shots obviously composed in post-production, and a few shots where the audience becomes aware the actors are performing in front of a greenscreen.

You can get away with mediocre visuals so long as there is consistency in their mediocrity.

If everything else consistently looks great, a so-so shot spoils the illusion; if everything consistently looks so-so, it’s simply part of the work’s look.

Indeed, you’re better off with consistently mediocre work highlighted by a few great shots than consistently great stuff undercut by a few mediocre ones.

Best thing about the movie is the complete lack of Jar Jar Binks.

=2=

Before diving deeper in The Rise Of Skywalker, let’s look at the series as a whole (just the numbered theatrical episodes, not standalone films, TV series, video games, comics, novels, etc.).

I’ve said the original Star Wars was the movie an entire generation had been waiting all their lives to see.

George Lucas wanted to do Flash Gordon but when Universal turned him down, created his own space opera.

Lucas, it needs be noted, is not a good writer.

Whatever visual talents he has, they don’t extend to telling a good story.

One can easily find early drafts of Star Wars online, and while they all share certain elements, they’re all pretty bad.

The development of Star Wars the movie grew organically with storyboard and production art, characters and incidents changing and evolving along the way.

It’s long been rumored that a more skilled writer than Lucas came in to do the final draft; one thing’s for sure, the shooting script is head and shoulders above the earlier drafts.

Star Wars the original Han-shoots-first-dammit theatrical release is very much a product of the 1970s.

20th Century Fox thought they had a good enough kiddee matinee movie for summer release; they expected their big sci-fi blockbuster of the year to be Damnation Alley.

Instead, they hit a nerve and found themselves with a blockbuster on their hands.

Lucas did show one great example of foresight: He trademarked all the names / characters / vehicles and held the licenses on them, not 20th Century Fox.

This gave him the war chest he needed to build the Lucasfilm empire.

And let’s give Lucas and his crew their due: They added immeasurably to the technical art of film making, as well as making several entertaining films.

What Lucas did not fully envision was how to mold his Star Wars material into a coherent and thematically cohesive saga.

He started out with grandiose plans -- four trilogies with a standalone film connecting each for a total of 15 movies -- but that gradually got whittled down to 12, then 9.

After Star Wars Episode VI: The Return Of The Jedi, Lucas put the Star Wars movie series on hold, waiting for film making technology to develop to the point where he could tell the stories the way he wanted to tell them.

Okay, fair enough.

But the problem is that while the film making technology improved, the technology of the Star Wars universe didn’t.

As I said, the original Star Wars is very much a 70s movie in taste / tone / style / sensibility.

While the designs look sufficiently sci-fi, they reflect robots and spacecraft designs of the 1970s -- in fact, even earlier in many cases.

That fit in with Lucas’ “used universe” look and the tag line “A long ago in a galaxy far, far away...”

But compare the original Star Wars with Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Kubrick spent a lot of time researching where technology was heading.

Long before visual displays and vector graphics became commonplace in real world aircraft, he showed them being used in the future.

The first example of what we refer to today as a computer tablet appeared in 2001 as a throwaway background detail.

Kubrick’s next film was A Clockwork Orange and he successfully predicted punk culture a decade ahead of reality (his only mistake being the assumption white, not black, would be the base color).

Star Wars Eps I - III take place a generation before the original Star Wars movie.

Star Wars Eps VII - IX take place a generation after.

Name a two generation span since the start of the industrial age that is not marked by radical technological change that produces an ensuing change in the social order.

Now I grant you, the Star Wars universe isn’t trying to tell that kind of story, but the story it is telling is static.

Characters in The Rise Of Skywalker talk about cloning as if it were A Really Big Deal.

Cloning today is cutting edge bio-tech, to be sure, but it’s already common place.

It’s as if the Star Wars characters were getting worked up over steam engines.

One can intercut scenes from the movies and, unless one is a familiar with each movie, it’s impossible to tell one film from another.

Lucas’ financial success enabled him to issue edicts re Star Wars (and other Lucasfilm projects) that undercut the strengths of his projects.

Lucas is a technological guru and a savvy businessman, but he really struggles to tell a story.

Frankly, I think he would have been a better film maker if he’d spent a decade or so making American Graffiti scale movies, not space operas and epic fantasies and adventure movies.

His decision to make the original Star Wars the fourth episode in his saga and going back to start his story with his villain was fatally flawed.

I grant following the Skywalker saga from Anakin to Luke to Rey could work if it started with Anakin.

But what he did was the equivalent of the James Bond movies jumping back in time to follow the pre-Bond career of Ernst Stavo Blofeld.

(And the Bond movies, at least up until the Daniel Craig era, are all standalone films insofar as one does not have to see any of the previous films to understand and enjoy the one being watched, not does the sequence they’re viewed in matter. And the Craig films were conceived from the beginning as having a coherent overall arc, so in that case they are the exception to the rule.)

The joyous whiz-bang space opera of the original Star Wars got bogged down in a lot of meaningless politics and talks of trade treaties, none of which explained why anyone would want to conquer the universe in order to rule it as a decrepit, diseased dictator in a dark hole.

Look at Hitler and Stalin and Castro and Mao and the Kim family in North Korea.

These guys enjoyed themselves (well, Hitler did until things went south for him). They loved the attention and went around preening themselves in public.

The off screen Empire (and implied Emperor) of the original Star Wars served that film well: It was a story about a tactical conflict, not a treatise on the philosophy of governance.

Lucas’ universe does not make sense even in its own context.

And because of that, it becomes harder and harder to fully engage with it.

A sci-fi movie doesn’t have to explain everything, but it has to at least imply there is an underlying order that links up.

Lucas began subverting his own universe almost immediately.

The Force was originally presented as a spiritual discipline that any sufficiently dedicated intelligent being could gain access to. (Robots seem to be specifically excluded from The Force, implying it needs a biological connection. But that would seem to exclude intelligences that may not be organic in the commonly accepted sense of the word, which means such beings cannot appear in the Star Wars universe, which means…well, I digress…)

That was a big hunk of the original Star Wars’ appeal, the thought that literally anybody could become a Jedi if they so desired.

It speaks to a religious bent in audiences from many different cultures around the world, and it offers up an egalitarian hope that allows everyone access to the Star Wars fantasy (“fantasy” in this context meaning the shared ideal).

But already in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back Lucas began betraying his original concept, sowing the seeds for self-serving deception and innate superiority as endemic in The Force.

By the time he got around to Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Lucas abandoned the hope established in the original Star Wars movie.

Now one has to be a special somebody, not just dedicated.

Mind you, that sort of story has its adherents, too.

Way back in the 1940s sci-fi fans were saying “Fans are slans” in order to claim superiority over “mundanes”. Today many Harry Potter fans like to think of themselves as inherently superior to “Muggles”.

It’s a very appealing idea, so appealing that the United States of America is based on it, the assumption being that white people are endowed with more blessings -- and therefore more rights -- than non-white people (add force multipliers such as “rich” / “male” / “Christian” / “straight” and you get to lord it over everybody).

Lucas with his stupid midichlorians robbed audiences of their healthy egalitarian fantasy and replaced it with a far more toxic elitism.

It appeals to the narcissistic stain in the human soul, and encourages dominance and bullying and cruelty and harm as a result.

It’s an elitism that requires a technologically and sociologically stagnant society, one where clones and robots and slaves can all co-exist and nobody points out they are all essentially the same thing.

A progressive society -- and here I use “progressive” strictly in a scientific and technological sense (though as stated above, advances in scientific fields invariably lead to changes elsewhere) -- does not let such conditions exist unchanged for generations.

As technology changes and improves, the culture/s around it change (and hopefully improve, too).

As I mentioned above, I’ve never seen Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith.

My reason for not seeing it? Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones.

Little Anakin Skywalker and his mom are slaves in The Phantom Menace.

He saves the Jedis and Princess Padame’s collective asses in that movie.

Okay, you’d think at the end of the movie that Padame would hand Qui-gon her ATM card and say, “Here, go back to Tatooine and bail the kid’s mom out. He did a solid for us, it’s the least we can do for him.”

No, they leave her there because there is no desire to change the underlying social order of their universe.

There can be no changes in Lucas’ bleak, barren moral universe.

There can be no help, no hope, no improvement.

When an edict is issue -- be it Jedi council or Emperor (or president of Lucasfilm) -- it is to be obeyed without question or pause.

Daring to say one can change their status -- change their destiny -- results in tragedy (and ironically, proof that is their destiny).

It’s dismaying enough that a large number of people enjoy cosplaying Star Wars villains, especially storm troopers, as that seems to indicate they’re missing the whole point of why the rebels were striving against the Empire in the first place.

Originally that could be written off as (at best) just enjoying the cool costumes and props or (at worst) finding an excuse for bad behavior (i.e., “I vuz only followink orders”).

But Lucas’ tacitly endorsing a sense of innate superiority pretty much destroys everything about The Force that the original Star Wars audience found enlightening and ennobling.

The Star Wars universe has become at its core a very ugly thing, and The Rise Of Skywalker doesn’t really clean it up.

SPOILERS ahead.

=3=

Seriously, SPOILERS follow.

Holy crap, The Rise Of Skywalker is a damn mess.

Nice eye candy, but a mess.

It pretty much undoes everything good in the previous two episodes.

I’m glad it’s the “official” end of the original saga because now I never need to see another Star Wars movie ever again.

(Oh, I’ll keep my DVD of the original Star Wars and if I find Solo in a bargain bin somewhere I might pick that up, but as far as the rest of Star Wars goes, I am D.O.N.E.)

The series stopped making sense long ago, so I’m really in no mood to analyze why nothing links up or really works.

It’s full of absurd, stupid ideas, such as space barbarians galloping across the deck of a star destroyed on their space horsies.

The whole back and forth between among Palpatine / Kylo / Rey goes on for two long. If hating somebody is bad because it sucks you over to the Dark Side, then why doesn’t somebody start building Terminators that can track down beings with midichlorians and kill them? (They’ve got the technology to detect midichlorians, that’s canon.)

It’s not anywhere near a good movie. It’s not as bad as George Lucas’ Star Wars Episodes I - III, but it’s clearly the worst of the last trilogy.

The scene where Rey gets off camera encouragement from all the dead Jedi? It seemed awfully familiar to me, as if the writers consciously or unconsciously remembered the John Wilkes Booth / Lee Harvey Oswald scene in Stephen Sondheim’s Assassins where all the presidential assassins and would-be assassins past and future encourage him to plug Kennedy.

Not what I want in a Star Wars movie.

I think we may be seeing the end of Star Wars. It’s been crammed down our throats for too long. I’m aware of The Mandalorian series and how insanely popular it is, but y’know, sooner or later every pop culture craze dies out.

Star Wars has nowhere to go. Star Trek is hemmed in, too, but nowhere nearly as bad as Star Wars.

We’re about to enter a generational shift in America, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a badly dated 1970s sci-fi concept fails to make the cut.

It ends on a frustrating note, taking much too long to come to a close, far too much self-congratulatory bullshit, and the deliberate planting of clues for a future set of sequels should the Mouse start jonesin’ for that sweet, sweet Star Wars franchise money fix.

It’s a really bad script, and dragging Carrie Fisher’s digitally reanimated corpse into it and then killing her off by suicide is a damned stupid / offensive idea.

Mark Hamill’s ghost walking out of the flames of Jedi hell (thank you for that analogy, David Brin)? Wow, who didn’t see that one marching down the avenue?

Harrison Ford coming back as a memory / hallucination to tell Kylo to do the right thing? Skrue dat noiz.

(Though I have to say Kylo Ren is the best thing about the movie and his character turn parallels both Luke’s and Vader’s in The Return Of The Jedi only his is much more believable and poignant so dammit, Disney, you could have done a much better job with this movie than you did.)

The plot and pacing is straight out of a video game. First do this, then do that, now ya gotta do another thing -- feh!

And unless I misheard the dialog, this whole film supposedly takes place over a span of sixteen hours!!!

They visit a half dozen worlds, crash and repair spaceships, go undercover, get captured and escape, fight duels to the deal -- all in sixteen hours?!?!?

Yeesh.

And I’ll say this, the last line is wrong wrong WRONG.

If the Star Wars saga has taught us anything, it’s that Force users are a threat to everything.

They should be eliminated for the good of the universe.

Rey shouldn’t have buried the Skywalker lightsabers.

She should have destroyed them -- and the one she made, and any others she found lying around.

And when she’s asked at the very end what her name is, the answer should have been: “Rey…just Rey.”

I know I put The Rise Of Skywalker in the not-so-good bin, but truth be told, that’s the nostalgia talking; it’s only a eyelash away from being bad.

The whole epic saga is a failure as far as I’m concerned. One and done is the way to go; the moment it started making money as a toy franchise it went south.

#sci-fi #Star Wars #The Rise Of Skywalker #Kylo Ren #The Force #movies

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redeyedryu · 6 years ago

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Apathy & Happenstance

Chapter 9 - Introspection and Preparation [Ao3] | 1 | 8 | x |

It occurs to me that I forgot to post the update here. Whoops... So in case you don’t read it on Ao3, here’s the 9th chapter of AAH. Bear in mind that the vote presented at the bottom is no longer open.

Summary: Papyrus puts together a shopping list and Sans is still a sweaty mess.

You wake up around ten-thirty, a half hour before your alarm. That gives you about an hour before you need to head in for your afternoon shift at the grocery store. It takes you about ten minutes to actually will yourself out of bed and another thirty to finish getting ready for the day, leaving you with about twenty extra to spare.

As you pad your way towards the kitchen, tulip tie and apron in hand, you navigate through the contacts on your phone, stopping at “Sans the (Blue) Skeleton”. You shoot him a quick text per your agreement (it simply reads: Not dead) and drop the tie and apron on the small dining table, next to where you had abandoned your bag last night.

Sans is sitting at the table, scribbling something on a loose piece of paper, his grin set in a frown and eye sockets creased in concentration.

It’s so weird how malleable the bone of skeleton monsters is and you wonder if you’ll ever grow accustomed to it.

Pliable bone aside, whatever Sans is writing down must be important—he didn’t even acknowledge you when you dropped your things on the table. You cast a glance at the piece of paper, curious, but can’t make heads or tails of his chicken scratch. You’re tempted to ask what he’s doing but ultimately decide against it. It’s not really any of your business, is it? You do, however, make a mental note to grab him one of your spare notebooks. Lord knows you have an overabundance of them. A few pens wouldn’t hurt either (you have an even larger collection of those).

A quick scan of the room reveals that Papyrus is in the kitchen once again, his back to you, arms braced on the counter, and you’re relieved that he has yet to turn anything into rancid-smelling charcoal. It looks like he hasn’t even attempted to start cooking, actually. You quirk a brow, noting he seems to be inspecting something quite intensely on the counter-top.

Leaving Sans to his scribbling, you come up beside Papyrus to find he has one of your cookbooks cracked open and that he’s perusing the pasta section. Does he like pasta? He had mentioned attempting to make “breakfast lasagna” yesterday, though you still have questions about that disaster. First of all, you didn’t even have lasagna so what sort of pasta had he even been messing with? Eh, whatever. Yesterday’s problems and all that.

“Did the cookbook threaten to devour your kneecaps or something? You’re staring at it awful hard there, sir.”

“HARDLY.” Papyrus scoffs. He tilts his skull slightly, taking in your appearance before quickly returning his attention to scrutinizing the book. “I AM MERELY DOING RESEARCH ON HUMAN CUISINE.”

You quirk a brow at that. Is there that much of a difference between human and monster food? You're rather reluctant to inquire, as that would require admitting that in all this time since monsters’ liberation, you had yet to partake in any of their food. You certainly had several opportunities to sample it but had always politely declined or offered up an excuse.

You ponder that for a moment. Why have you been avoiding monster food? Sure the monster populace in your city is quite small, being as far from Mt. Ebott as it is, but that isn't to say it’s non-existent. Heck, one of the supervisors at the grocery store is a bipedal rabbit monster who often brings in homemade cinnamon bunnies.

Maybe you should try one the next time she brings them in….

“Ah, before I forget,” you abruptly say, shelving the self-reflection for now, and with a snap, you point at the skeleton beside you. “I’m working at a grocery store today and figured I could pick up a couple things when I get off. Was there anything y’all wanted? I know we carry a few monster products if you… uh…” The sentence trails off as you catch sight of Papyrus’s expression. You turn your head just slightly to the side, brows furrowing. Why is he looking at you like that?

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” you voice the thought.

Those dark, empty pits of blackness are staring at you again. You expect him to say something but he merely continues to watch you, the moment stretching awkwardly as a shudder works its way up your spine.

“What did I say?” you press, not knowing what to make of Papyrus’s behavior.

Another beat of silent staring passes and you feel your muscles tensing. For what, you're not entirely sure.

When Papyrus finally lets out a very subdued chuckle, quickly followed by a few more that sound suspiciously like “nyeh heh heh”, the tension eases. He turns to face you, hip resting against the counter, and brings a bony palm to drape across his eyelids.

You're baffled, to say the least.

“Uh…?”

“YOU ARE A CURIOUS PUZZLE, AREN’T YOU, HUMAN?” Papyrus eventually manages, hand dropping away from his face, though he now has his arms crossed over his chest.

You squint at the skeleton. What is that supposed to mean…?

He merely shakes his head with one last chuckle and says, “IF YOU ARE OFFERING, THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I WOULDN'T MIND YOU ‘PICKING UP’ FOR ME.”

That's a really weird way to word it—it almost comes off as belittling, especially with the inflection he used at the end there, but whatever. You’ve already decided that the skeletons are weird.

“Okay,” you respond. “Let me go nab something for you to write on.” You don't wait for his reply as you run back to your room.

You snatch the palm-sized notebook sitting atop the nightstand, flipping it open to a blank page. It’s your go-to for making little notes and lists to yourself so it should be perfect.

Just as you’re moving to leave the room you remember Sans and his loose-leaf scribbling. You nab a couple small notebooks (they're no bigger than your hand) from the bookshelf squished up against the wall and a random assortment of pens.

Once you're back in the kitchen you hand Papyrus the notebook and a pen, instructing him to write down what he and his brother would like or need most.

“I can't guarantee we carry everything you write down but I'll get what I can,” you tell him, leaving out that you've never even perused the monster food section, so you can't even say what the store does stock.

“I SUPPOSE IT’S NOT SURPRISING THAT A HUMAN ESTABLISHMENT WOULD HAVE A RATHER MEDIOCRE SELECTION.” is all Papyrus says on the matter, before attending to building his list. He doesn't see how you quirk a brow.

“Uh huh,” you reply before leaving him to it.

As the large skeleton works, you give your phone a quick glance and, noting the time, realize you should probably head out soon. You go to gather your things at the table, stopping to tap Sans on the shoulder to grab his attention. You don't miss the way he seems to flinch at your touch, nor the way sweat begins beading along the crown of his skull. He’s even more huddled over the scrap piece of paper than when you left him, and you notice several areas where he’s completely scratched out whatever he had written.

“Here,” you say as he twists to face you, eye lights flicking from your face to the hand with your offerings.

He doesn't immediately accept so you shake the notebooks at him. “You looked like you could use these.” You press, and he finally takes the hint; his brows furrow and the corners of his shark-toothed smile dip into a frown. A few droplets of that red-tinted, magical sweat of his roll down the sides of his skull. He doesn't move to accept the proffered notebooks. In fact, he looks about ready to protest, maw parting, so you quickly tell him, “I've got plenty.”

His jaws snap shut with an audible click. A moment passes in which he does little more than stare at you, eye sockets squinted and frown ever present, before his expression finally shifts. The ridges of bone above his eyes raise and he grins a toothy grin. He’s still a sweaty mess, though.

“why sweetheart,” he says, folding his arms behind his head and leaning into the back of his chair. As his eye sockets dip closed he continues, “didn’t know ya cared ‘bout this ol’ bag a bones so much.”

Your expression goes dry and you give the skeleton a flat look. You drop the notebooks and pens on the table before him.

“Gross,” you say. “Don't call me sweetheart.” And with that, you get back to gathering your things, completely ignoring the deep chuckles rumbling from the shark-toothed skeleton. Your phone’s stuffed in a pocket, tulip tie jammed into your bag, which is then slung over a shoulder, and apron gathered and draped over an arm. That done, you head back to the kitchen.

Papyrus is leaning against the counter, arms and legs crossed. His eye sockets are shut, brow ridges raised, as a single gloved finger tap, tap, taps against the exposed bone of his upper arm. In his opposite hand you notice the notebook you had lent him.

“You done?”

His finger immediately ceases tapping out its rhythm at the sound of your voice. He cracks open a single, empty socket. A beat passes as the two of you simply stare at one another (what is up with this guy and dramatic, silent stare-downs?) before Papyrus decides he’s had enough. Legs uncrossing, he pushes himself from the counter, the hand holding the notebook lifting from his chest while the other remains wrapped around his ribs.

“HUMAN,” he says as he all but throws the notebook at you. You fumble a bit, nearly dropping it a couple times, but ultimately succeed in catching it. Thankfully, you manage to avoid any paper cuts. “I HAVE COMPLETED THE LIST.” he continues, “I TRUST YOU DON’T NEED ME TO CLARIFY ANYTHING ON IT.”

You glance at the notebook and absently note that unlike his brother, Papyrus’s handwriting is quite neat and uniform, with everything written in block letters. A quick skim of the page tells you that no, you don’t need him to clarify anything.

“Yeah, you’re good,” you tell him as you shift your bag down your shoulder and quickly stuff the notebook into it. “Thanks, boss.”

As you turn to exit the kitchen, intent on making your way out, you think you hear the tall skeleton sputter. Odd, but whatever.

As you ready yourself at the door, nabbing your keys and sliding into your shoes, you remember that you still have yet to set boundaries and ground rules with your impromptu skeletal roommates. You should probably address that. You call to the brothers from over your shoulder, informing them that, “When I get home tonight we need to talk about ground rules and boundaries.”

You hear a grunt of acknowledgement from Sans while Papyrus’s booming voice replies, “YES, GOOD IDEA, HUMAN!”

Alright, cool. That’s one thing almost done and out of the way. Hopefully it doesn’t escape your mind again by the time you get back….

With all your things gathered and prepared, you open the door, calling over your shoulder to the brothers one last time. You tell them, “I’m heading out now. I’ll be back in about seven hours. Don’t burn the place down while I’m gone!” and make your escape.

It’s as you’re driving to work that a random thought comes to mind: today marks the third day of the brothers having arrived in your universe with nothing more than the clothes on their back. Not only that, but it’s also their third day on the surface and as far as you know, they have yet to step foot outside. You’re going to have to do something about that. You’ll have to double check your schedule but you’re pretty sure you don’t have to work either of your jobs tomorrow. Maybe you can take the guys out?

Your mind’s made up. Tomorrow you’ll take the boys out. The question now, however, is where will you take them?

* To the thrift shop downtown.

* To the large shopping mall near the interstate.

#Red Drabbles #Undertale Fanfiction #Reader Insert #Apathy and Happenstance #tenth chapter is roughly halfway written

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rogermeddowstayl0r · 6 years ago

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soulmates : Keep Yourself Alive | r.t.

Part 1

Summary: Roger attends his local pub for a drink or two, one late night a few months after Queen’s first album was released. What he doesn’t expect to find is a talented Scottish drummer, who catches his eye and intrigues him into a wild night of getting to know her crazy life.

(70s Roger but could be Ben!Roger too if ya like.)

A/N: okay i apologise for the time taken to write this second part i have no excuse i’m just lazy. This chapter is quite slow but it’s mostly just building characters/relationships but it does get a bit dramatic. I will post another part soon to make up for the slowness in this one :)

Words: 1.9k

Warnings: swearing, fluff

August 24th 1973

The golden morning sun lit the hotel room, littered with evidence of the night before. Clothes strewn across the floor, disregard in a hurry of last nights events. Mandy stirred in her sleep and awoke because of the bright sun shining in the windows, the blinds had certainly not been shut last night before she feel asleep in Roger’s arms.

Speaking of Roger, he lay next to her, laying on his stomach with his head turned to face her and one arm draped over her stomach, holding her waist. His long hair was very disheveled and she ran her hands threw it, pushing it out of his face. She smiled, he really did look beautiful and a part of her didn’t want to say goodbye to him. She had practice with her band at around 12, a quick glance at the clock in her room told her she had 3 hours until then. She sighed and turned on her side to fully face Roger, watching his face as he slept. He looked so peaceful, his facial expressions changing slightly every so often, he would frown and then smile.

After a while, he also began to wake up. She ran her hand threw his golden hair again and smiled sweetly.

“Good morning sleepy head.” She said softly.

He smiled as he opened his eyes lazily. “Morning love.”

He turned on his side to face her too. He looked at her intensely, taking in every feature of her face. Her eyebrows were full, dark like her hair and arched. Her bright green eyes looked back at him intently. Her eyeshadow from last night was faded but evidence of it still remained. Her lips were pump. They formed into a smile as she laughed and said,

“What are you starin’ at me like that for?”

“You’re beautiful.” He blurted it out without thinking. But a blush formed on her cheeks. She shoved his shoulder playfully.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” She replied cheekily. From the short time he had known her, he had quickly realised she always had a smart or cheeky remark and he found it incredibly interesting. She was so different from any other girl he had met.

“I hate to ruin this moment.” She looked at his threw her eyelashes innocently. “But I need to get ready, I have some utterly stupid band practice at 12 and I would hate to disappoint them more than I already have.” She pressed her hand against his bare chest. She really didn’t want him to leave.

“I understand.” He tried not to sound sad about the thought of leaving her and never seeing her again. “Also...Disappoint them?”

She sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. “They’ve had this stupid rule while we’ve been on tour.” She began. “That we can’t go home with other people without telling each other, they said it’s so they know I’ve got home safe or some shite.”

“Oh.” Roger replied dumbly. “I’m sure they do care about you though? I mean they’re your bandmates!”

“Nope, they’re just nosey as fuck. I mean, I’m 23 for fuck sake, I’m not 18 anymore and they’re not my parents. They can’t control who I go away with. God, I sound like an annoying teenager.” She laughed at herself and Roger chuckled too.

“Anyway, I never informed them of my departure with you last night so they’ll be pissed.” She concluded, the sarcasm and anger for the coming argument was clear in her voice.

“Well then you definitely shouldn’t be late and annoy them more.” Roger said, smirking, as he rolled on top of her suggesting something. She pushed his shoulder lightly and laughed.

“If you think you’re getting a round two, you’re going to be very disappointed Mr. Taylor.” She slipped out from underneath him and strolled into the bathroom of the hotel room, grabbing a change of clothes as she went. He collapsed onto the mattress and groaned loudly.

She washed her face and brushed her teeth quickly and emerged again to find Roger putting on his boxers and a T-shirt.

“Leaving so soon?” She tried not to seem needy by trying to be flirty.

“If I remember correctly, you’re the one kicking me out, love.” He walked over to her, standing in front of her and looking at her. She just smiled.

“We could get breakfast, you know if you’re not too busy being a big rockstar?” She said sheepishly, the first time since meeting her, Roger saw her confidence shaking. She was nervous. A loud knock at the door made her jump.

“Sorry.” She mumbled to Roger.

Walking to the door and opening it she was greeted with her bandmate, Beth. She looked surprised but then her expression changed to anger.

“Mandy.” She looked her up and down. “We’re having lunch as a band at 11 so ya know be there.”

“O-okay.” Mandy stuttered.

“Thank god you were here, didn’t exactly want to look all over London for you.” She spat and then she walked away.

Mandy closed the door softly, turning to Roger and laughing nervously.

“It’s okay.” Roger walked towards her, he had heard what Beth had said. He ran his hands up the back of her arms. “Here.” He handed her a piece of paper with his number scribbled on it. “Incase you want to get that breakfast one day.” He winked at her and she laughed. He kissed her forehead softly and retreated to gather his things, then he was gone.

Lunch with Annie and Beth has been utterly insufferable for Mandy. They went on and on about how happy they were that their short “tour” was coming to an end, throwing jabs at Mandy when they could.

It was only later on when they were in the studio where Mandy’s temper got the best of her. Annie was complaining about the way she was speeding up one of their songs.

“What’s the bloody point? Not like we’re actually recording any of this!” Mandy jumped up from the stool behind the drum kit.

“Mandy we’ve been over this, it’s just for fun, nothing serious!” Beth chimed in.

“We just had a tour! With no album! No bloody wonder everyone in the crowd looks bored as shit! You can’t even play right so I don’t get why you’re butting in!” Mandy shouted back, growing angrier.

“Mandy we get it, you think you’re something now you fucked Roger Taylor but we agreed months ago that we were doing this tour for some extra money and some fun!” Annie said. Her mentioning Roger made Mandy blood boil. She had no right to say those things.

“Fuck you Annie.” She growled at the smug looking singer.

“Come on Mands, don’t be dumb.” Annie replies faking sympathy. “The man is a notorious player. You didn’t think he was the one, did you?”

Rage was all Mandy could feel, she was gripping her drum stick so hard she feared they may just snap in her grip, her jaw was clutched so tight her teeth nearly shattered.

“Fuck you and fuck this bullshit band. I’m not wasting anymore of my time with you.” Mandy spat back at the two girls. She walked towards Annie, rage written all over her face as she tucked the drumsticks in her back pocket. She reached Annie and instantly trapped her shirt pulling her close to her.

“If you think for even a second, that I need you then you are severely wrong. Watch me.” She growled at her, Annie shaking at this side of Mandy which she had never seen before. She let her go, she dropped out of Mandy’s grip dramatically.

Mandy headed straight for the doors out of the recording studio.

“Wait!” Beth shouted after her. She stuck up both her fingers, flipping the girls off in response.

She turned a sharp corner as soon as she walked out the doors, putting a cigarette between her teeth. Her anger and hatred of those two girls clouded her senses, she didn’t see the person coming until she collided with them.

“Ooft.” She fell backwards as a stack of papers fell around her to the ground. “Sorry.” She muttered picking up her cigarette.

“‘S okay love.” A familiar voice said. She looked up in shock.

“Roger?!” He smiled at her, offering his hand to help her off the ground, which she took.

“What are you doing here, huh? Stalking me?” She joked.

“Don’t flatter yourself love. I work here.” He laughed. “What are you doing here?”

“Well I was at practice with my band, but I quit so I don’t really have a band now.” Mandy explained. Roger looked confused.

“They’re that bad, huh?” He laughed lightly. She smiled back at him.

“Yeah, I guess.” She shuffled awkwardly. “I should get out of here before they come after me with pitchforks.”

“Let’s go then!” Roger smile brightly.

“I thought you were working? Or was that just an excuse ‘cause you were actually stalking me?” She raised her eyebrows at him playfully.

He laughed. “I swear I wasn’t stalking you! We’re just recording, Queen I mean, you could come sit with us, meet the rest of the guys?” He suggested hopefully.

She didn’t want to seem too desperate and give in easily, put she also didn’t want to put up so much of a fight he would think she didn’t like him. Her mind debated back and fourth.

“Fuck it, sure!” She smiled. It would be nice to meet the other members of queen, she did really like their album.

“Great! I have to hand these papers to Reid first, but you can join. I’ll introduce you to the man in charge!” He smiled and gestured down the hall to where she assumed Reid’s office was.

“Sure.” She followed behind him watching him.

“So you going to look for a new band?” He asked.

“Hmm maybe, know anyone looking for a mediocre drummer?” She laughed. He stopped abruptly.

“You are not mediocre love, you’re fucking fantastic. That old lot just held you back. You’re perfect.” The last part was almost a whisper but Mandy still heard. She blushed, smiling softly.

“Thank you Roger.” Her heart flipped in her chest, no one ever really commented on her drumming, just the regular, “you were good”. No one had ever complimented her the way Roger had, it meant a lot, especially coming from Roger fucking Taylor!

The two began walking again and Roger then knocked on the door of Reid’s office. He went inside while Mandy hung around the door.

“Who’s your friend Rog?” John Reid asked curiously looking at Mandy.

“Oh, this is Mandy, we met the other night and she’s a drummer too, she bloody brilliant.” Roger smiled at her.

“Mandy McClain.” She formally introduced herself to Reid, extending her hand to him. He shook her hand.

“I’ll keep you in mind if I’m looking for a drummer.” He said smiling.

Roger and Mandy then left and went to Queen’s recording studio and Mandy would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous. She fidgeted with her fingers as they walked to the studio.

“Hey don’t be nervous,” Roger said placing his arm round her shoulder. “They’ll love you.”

The whole scene felt old to Mandy, he was acting weird? Was she just overthink cause she was nervous?

“Hey Roger, I just realised I have some stuff to do, so um maybe another time yeah?” Her words were fast and her voice was shaking but before Roger could say anything she had ran away, out of the building. He chased after her.

Tag list: @rogerseyeliner @xgoingdownx @writingfortoomanyfandoms @onlyangelii @rogers-rhapsody @discodeakyy @the-killer-queenie @rogers-flowered-blazer

#ahhh part 2 enjoy :)#roger taylor x oc #raoger taylor x reader #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor writing #queen x reader #writing #fanfic #queen #roger taylor #john deacon #freddie mercury #brain may #bohrap #70s #ben hardy #bohemian rhapsody #becki writes

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transvros · 6 years ago

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TITLE: Malfunctioned / Fixated SUBJECT MATTER: Connor notices that there’s something up between Gavin and RK900, and in response he tries to reassure his upgrade of his options. Meanwhile, RK900 sees no problems, and furthermore is unwilling to consider feeling anything about it. WARNINGS: N/A RELATIONSHIPS: HankCon, RK900/Gavin (Toxic) AO3 LINK: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17679086 CHAP 2 UNDER CUT CHAP 1 LINK: https://transvros.tumblr.com/post/182605411577/title-malfunctioned-fixated-subject

The doors creaked open with a deafening sound as Connor and Hank entered the building, their demeanors revealing nothing about their past conversation. Connor looked over at Hank, a thin smile on his face met with Hank's endeared-but-proud scowl back at him. Working together before had been so tense- when Hank had hated him and he had nothing to feel for him at all, but now it was practically a dream come true (even IF Hank refused to admit it.) Now that they no longer investigated deviants, Connor and Hank worked as a pair of investigators for anything that happened to come up. Right now, there wasn't anything big happening. Just a few leadless cases and days of going over the paperwork of others on hiatus. Walking to the desk together was always a bit emotional for Connor. One side was Hank's, barely changed from how it used to be, but on the other side stood a small name tag with his own name and a desk of his own arrangements. He kept a little cup of coins, a few pictures of Sumo and Hank, a small hand puzzle, a framed photo of him with Kara, Markus, Luther, Alice and Hank all enjoying Hank's birthday together... all little pieces of himself scattered about his very own space. Connor regarded it fondly as he sat across from Hank, only to wheel his chair outwards and over to Hank's side.

"I've got an email from Kara." Hank muttered, reading it over silently in between. "She thinks we should all get together soon. As much as I enjoy hanging around all of you so often I don't know if she'll ever stop asking." His tone was amused and charmed more than it was actually upset.

"I don't know, Lieutenant." Connor replied, a warmth in his gaze as he thought of all of them. "The last time we all spent good time together was..." He paused to consider it. There'd been a few individual hangouts, but last time everyone was in the same room together... as the memory returned to him, his eyes beamed. "-was our wedding." Hank blinked and looked over at him.

"Shit... has it really been that long?" Hank was surprised, and a tad flustered. "We should meet up again soon, then, huh? I'll have to get back to her on a date for that." Connor went to respond, but out of the corner of his eye something caught his attention. RK900 had entered the room. The other android stood at the doorway, scanning across the area firmly before he walked in. Connor couldn't help but look for signs of distress on his face, but he could find none. He kept watching him, carefully following as Nines stalked across to Jeffrey in his office. Connor narrowed his eyes as the two started talking. Jeffrey seemed upset about something, and Nines was responding with determination in his gaze. "When do you think we should hang out with em?" Hank was asking.

"It looks like Nines and Jeffrey are discussing something," Connor said, completely glossing over what was asked of him. "I wonder if he's in trouble. Or maybe there's a new lead."

"Connor, please." Hank pleaded, touching Connor's shoulder. "Stay focused. It's none of our business right now." Connor glanced at him and nodded.

But what if it is our business? He thought silently. Regardless, he didn't have much time to consider it. RK900 was walking over to them from the office, seeming to be set on a task. Hank softly muttered something under his breath as he turned to face Nines as well.

"Connor. Hank." He greeted, as much as one could call that a greeting. "Something's happened, and Jeffrey wants the both of you to join me and Gavin in his office to discuss it. My reasoning stands to believe it has something to do with the recent disappearances. At least, my advanced deductive technology seems to lead me to believe so." Connor had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. It wasn't like deductive reasoning skills was specific to Nines' technological advances. It was a basic skill, maybe even common sense. The disappearances he was referencing were a recently put on hold case- a series of androids had gone missing recently with no connection between them besides the fact that they were all androids.

"Easy now, Sherlock, save some epiphanies for the rest of us." Hank was not so keen on suppressing his sassy remarks. "Where's your partner in crime anyway?"

"Gavin is running a little late. He'll be here soon enough." RK900 replied, pressing his lips together slightly. "I wouldn't make Jeffrey wait. He doesn't much like having to be patient-"

"We know, Niles." Hank spat his name back at him, standing up with Connor and starting to walk past him. "We worked here first, in case you forgot. Might wanna get your memory chip tested." Connor didn't bother to hide the chuckle he gave in response as he followed Hank into Jeffrey's office with Nines right behind him.

"Good, you're here. I hoped that wouldn't take long. Now all we need is for Reed to show." Jeffrey said as they all entered. He leaned back against his desk and crossed his arms. There was a moment of awkward silence in the room. Anxiously, Connor pulled a coin from his pocket and started to flip it over his fingers in a perfect loop. His eyes stayed fixed on it and it's every movement. It kept his attention and let the tenseness he felt wash away almost instantly. The other people in the room became obscured in his vision, and he didn't feel the need to pay close attention to every movement or word... instead, the coin took over all his idle focus and spare time. He quickly threw it into his other hand and started doing the same. Before he could smoothly transition it over his pinky finger, he heard the door open quickly and he fumbled, coin dropping to the ground. He kneeled down to pick it up, but as his hand hovered over it, a shoe came down hard on it and prevented him from getting it. Connor looked up swiftly, finding himself staring up at Gavin. Gavin kept eye-contact with Connor as he reached down, swiping the coin from under his heel and flipping it once in a simple, mediocre movement and putting it in his pocket. Connor stood up straight, glaring at Gavin as he walked over to Niles and stood beside him.

"All my faaavorite people in one room." Gavin remarked sarcastically, leering over at Hank. "What is it, an intervention? Another relapse, Lieutenant Anderson? A shame, four months seemed to be your record." Connor clenched his fists and peered at Hank, who held a look of fury unlike any other Connor had read on his face before.

"Five months now, ya little asshole-" Hank jeered at him, showing his teeth slightly. "Where the fuck have you been, huh? Awful quick to come marching in here like a snide little--"

"Reed! Anderson!" Jeffrey scolded, moving forward a little bit. "This isn't the time for bickering, we have news to discuss." Gavin snorted but didn't say anything else, and Hank reluctantly turned to look at Jeffrey instead. His face was slightly red with anger, and Connor could spot him shaking a little. To calm him, Connor reached over and grabbed his hand. At first he was worried it was the wrong move, but Hank gripped his hand in return. He gazed over at Niles to see the other android's reaction, but RK900 hadn't even glanced at the dispute. Nines darted his eyes towards Connor, suspicion rising just slightly in his expression when he spotted the other staring. Connor moved his head back slowly to Jeffrey.

"One of the androids has been found." He revealed, causing everyone's attention to snap pretty harshly into focus. "Found it- er... found him beaten in the back of an abandoned garage. Seems like the culprit mistook him for dead when he left him there."

"What did the victim have to say?" Connor questioned, finding the situation tensely familiar to old investigations he and Hank were a part of. Of course, it was to be expected that the freedom of androids was not an overnight change... but hearing about them being beaten and killed was upsetting.

"He was in shock. Couldn't seem to remember everything that happened. Moreso, we didn't want to go on asking too many questions right away. That's your jobs." Jeffrey answered.

"Wait, our jobs?" Gavin snapped suddenly. "You can't possibly tell me I'm working with these fuckin' disasters!"

"You will work with whoever I tell you to work with, Gavin." Jeffrey said dangerously, glancing at Hank, who had prepared to say something back but decided against it. Niles put a hand on Gavin's shoulder.

"It's only for now." He said quietly, as if Connor weren't right next to him and close enough to hear. "Not for too long." Gavin shuffled and grumbled to himself, but he conceded and stopped arguing.

"I expect you to be gentle with the victim. He's still very much delicate from the incident." Jeffrey warned. "We don't want to force him to tell us anything. We want to help him." He didn't say it, but everyone could tell that he was referring mostly to Gavin. "Whatever you find out is useful. Later today, I'll send you all out to investigate the crime scene afterwards. Get yourselves ready to go and have what you plan on asking in mind. Don't make any rash decisions." Everyone looked at each-other tensely before agreeing in various murmurs and grunts. Jeffrey gestured for everyone to leave, and the four of them shuffled out of the office.

"Well I'll be damned." Hank commented, hands in his pockets. "Just when we put the case on hiatus, huh? Course it'd happen now."

"I'm worried the other missing victims will be dead already." Connor fretfully responded. "Since this one was supposedly suspected to be dead by the suspect-"

"Isn't that big of a deal." Gavin bit back, emerging from behind the two of them. "The damn things can just be rebooted and revived. It's all plastic and programming in there, ain't it, Connor?" Connor flinched, and considered staying silent. Instead, he finally said something back.

"That's not true." He replied simply, though his tone teetered on anger. "Not all androids can simply be rebooted or remade. Especially not if they've been around a while." His words were logical, but they were also personally. After all, he no longer had the security of coming back from the dead since RK900 had been created. Why continue to fix an old model? They'd never word it that way anymore, not with the public repercussions, but any sane eye could see it. "Even if it were, the emotional trauma isn't something that can be reprogrammed."

"Please. Anything can be reprogrammed in that head of yours." Gavin chortled, before looking at Niles. "Isn't that right, Nine-hundo?" Finally, RK900 had a reaction. His eyes closed slightly and his posture shifted. His shoulders slumped with a heavy weight, but then he quickly put himself all back together. Something about the exchange brought back that bad feeling in Connor. He creased his brow and looked between the two of them. "We have to work together, which means I expect your ass to stay the hell out of my way."

"Only if you stay out of mine." Connor retorted without thinking. He couldn't help but take pleasure in the upset that washed over Gavin's face.

"Fuckin' android." Gavin reached out and shoved Connor's shoulder, causing him to move sideways a bit. Hank advanced slightly and put a hand against Connor's back.

"I think it's time we get on the road, Gavin." Hank fumed, giving both Gavin and Niles a look that could kill. "And I'd keep my filthy fucking hands to myself if I were you. If I have to step in and stop you from being a little bitch all the time, it isn't gonna get pretty out there." He looked at Niles. "That goes for you, too."

"Fine!" Gavin barked. "Come on, then." He started to walk away, but Hank roughly stopped him with a firm hand. "What??" Gavin challenged.

"Go wash your hands. You smell like cigarettes." Hank replied, moving past him with Connor close by his side. Connor snuck a glance behind them and delighted in seeing Gavin with his lip upturned in disgust. The delight faded quickly, however, as the man hooked arms with Niles.

This is gonna get pretty ugly. Connor pondered. He reached out and held Hank's hand for support as they made their way out of the building.

#dbh #detroit become human #hankcon #gavin x rk900

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moczothe1st · 6 years ago

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Let’s Play Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War, Part 17: Leif and Let Leif

Part 16

Welcome back to Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Goddammit it’s another desert map. We just beat one of those, dammit! *sob* Damn you, game. Damn you to Hell. Tell me your story, you bastard.

And wide, inspiring courage anew in the Empire’s victims. Still more uprisings erupt across Jugdral, but once again, precious few are properly organized and are easily crushed, and the death toll climbs ever higher…

Leonster, a kingdom in the Thracian Peninsula…

(FIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN!)

But they have suffered a devasating loss before King Blume’s vast hordes and are stranded in hostile ground.

The oasis city of Darna,

(Guess which one of these faces will be recruitable.)

In Rivough, Seliph and the warriors of his liberation army now prepare themselves to embark on a journey and come to the aid of their allies in far-away Leonster. Each warrior sets aside their worries as, under Seliph’s leadership, they prepare for the new battle on their horizon.

(Well. Finn is back, but he’s not exactly a bundle of sunshine, huh.)

Finn: This is a crippling blow to our army. We’ve lost most of our might in one fell swoop.

Leif: This can’t be happening… I thought this was our chance… was all of this useless all along? Damn it all! I’ll kill Blume with my bare hands!

(Damn, Leif is way less chill than his dad was.)

Finn: Please calm yourself, milord! This isn’t the end quite yet. I’ve just had a word with King Lewyn. He’s sending Prince Seliph’s liberation army to back us up. Until then, no matter what, we must endure the siege milord.

Leif: Prince Seliph, you say… He’s the son of my father’s old friend Sigurd and Empress Deirdre, right?

Hair Wings are the Best: I think we should abandon the castle for now, and seek refuge in that western church.

Leif: Hm, you’re right. I suppose we don’t have much choice now. Very well. Our priority is to play this out defensively for the time being. Until Prince Seliph gets here, we must endure…

Blume: Buffoons, all of you! Do you really think I want to hear excuses? I want Leonster seized! No more delays! If you waste any more time on this, then we’ll have to contend with those Isaachian mongrels as well!

(So blume takes after his dad, then. Good to know.)

Moustache: Y-yes milord! We will strike immediately, milord!

(Dammit all, I let Dew die childless specifically to avoid a character like you.)

Girl!Dew: But I can’t afford to dawdle now. Still gotta get out of here, and quick…

Do the Dew: Do you have any idea how tough it was to get my hands on this sword? If you want it, come get it, nincompoop!

Shanan: W-wait!

Priest Whose Name I have Already Forgotten: And they absconded with Balmung?! You fools! Go seize them! Now!

Mook: Y-yes, your grace! But, er, your grace… surely a master of dark magics of your caliber could crush common thieves such as these with a single blow, even from here?

I think it was Cthfuzorc or something: I’ve misplaced my book of Fenrir. My men are scouring the shrine to find it, but so far it has yet to emerge…

Trying Not to Laugh: Understood, your grace. In that case, my clan and I will take a few mercenaries and pursue them. We swear to you, your grace, that we will have the treasure back where it belongs post-haste!

Lewyn: the order’s fell mages infest the desert, mercilessly assaulting anyone they find in it. People’ve taken to calling the region the Desert of Death… a fitting name, really.

Seliph: I can only imagine how awfully travelers struggle here! I wonder… perhaps it’d be possible to seize the shrine from the Order?

Lewyn: Heh, I thought you’d never ask. There’s always a way, but this one won’t be easy. We may need to make sacrifices.

Seliph: So be it. At this point we’ve little choice. Not to mention, Shanan is likely still in the desert… for now, let’s focus on taking control of Yied! All else will begin there!

And here we go, the first REAL chapter of generation two. And what I mean by real, of course…

THERE’S AN ARENA! SCREW LEIF AND SHANAN, IT’S TIME TO SPEND FIVE HOURS DOING GLADIATOR COMBAT, BITCHES.

Seliph: Seven wins, gained four levels: +8 HP, +3 Skl, +3 Str, +1 Mag, +2 Luck, +2 Def, +1 Res

Julia: Three wins, gained one level: +1 HP, +1 Speed, +1 Magic, +1 Luck

Oifey: Seven wins, gained one level: +1 HP, +1 Skill, +1 Luck

Ulster: Seven wins, gained two levels: +3 HP, +1 Skill, +1 Strength, +2 Speed, +1 Luck, +1 Defense

Larcei: Seven wins, gained three levels: +3 HP, +3 Strength, +2 Speed, +2 Magic, +1 Luck

Lester: Seven wins, gained two levels: +2 HP, +2 Strength, +1 Magic, +1 Speed, +1 Defense

Dermott: Seven wins, gained three levels: +3 HP, +1 Skill, +3 Strength, +1 Luck, +1 Defense

Fee: Seven wins, gained three levels: +3 HP, +2 Skill, +1 Strength, +3 Magic, +1 Luck, +1 Defense

Arthur: Seven wins, gained three levels: +5 HP, +2 Skill, +4 Speed, +1 Magic, +3 Luck, +1 Defense, +1 Res

Johan: Six wins, gained one level: +1 HP, +1 Speed, +1 Defense

Dammit, Julia. She’s unfortunately too slow to deal with the Myrmidon hanging out at Rank Four; he doubles her and she can’t hit him with any sort of accuracy. We’ll try this again at the end of the map. And speaking of the map…

So here’s what we’ve got. To the west of us is Yied Shrine, which is full of Loptyrites, and the desert between us and them is just silly with Dark Mages. Shanan himself is to the west of the Shrine; and directly south of it are two additional castles that we’re going to have to conquer eventually because of course we will. However, they don’t go hostile until we take Yied, and we can’t get the rest of the army to Lief’s rescue until we take them, so we’ve got a war ahead of us. Lief himself is directly south of our starting point, at the neutral castle Leonster, and directly south of him is the end-of-chapter boss. He has two units to protect him, and despite being told to run away, the three of them can often hold out on their own. But there’s a lot of villages down there and we want those bad. So we’re gonna abandon the castle… AND CHARGE.

Now. Before we get rolling, I do believe we have five new people to look at.

First off, Shanan. Like Oifey he’s a pre-promote, joining as a Swordmaster despite being level 12. However, he has some factors that make him more useful than Oifey in the long run:.First of all, his growths in everything other than HP and Skill are very much on the low side, but his base stats are so high it hardly matters; he’s not really going to get significantly stronger, but who cares when he’s already strong enough to fight 90% of the game’s enemies right now? Even if every level he gets is mediocre at best, he’ll probably still be fine for the endgame. Second, his abilities are great, joining up with Pursuit, Adept, and Astra ready to rock. Third…

Dewlette: Wait… give it back? Is it yours?

Shanan: Yes, it is! That’s my family’s ancestral blade, Balmung. I’m the only person capable of using it. You’ve nothing at all to gain from keeping it.

DewTwo: Wait, so how’d this thing end up in Yied, anyway?

Shanan: It belonged to my father, who died in Grannvale’s war with Isaach. Someone must’ve stolen it from him after he died. I only recently learned that it was being kept at Yied, so I came to retrieve it.

Dewlightful: Hang on, hang on, hang on! Could it be… are you Isaach’s Prince Shanan?!

Shanan: I am….

One, Dew, Three times a Lady: Really?! It’s really, really you?! Wow! Oh my gosh! This is incredible!

Shanan: Er…

Dew it To Me One More Time: No, really, I’ve heard all the stories about you! All of them! I’ve been a huge fan of yours for so long, but I never thought I’d actually meet you!

Shanan: …

Don’t Dew Drugs: But you’re here! You’re really talking to me right now! It’s like all my dreams’ve come true!

Shanan: … Yeah, I think I get the idea. My sword, please?

COULD YOU JUST INTRODUCE YOURSELF ALREADY: Oh, right, sorry! Here ya go.

Shanan: Balmung… my holy sword… It’s finally mine… hm? Ahh! What is this power…?!

Screw it, her name is Patty: Woooow! This is incredible…

And there we go. Balmung is pretty excellent, enough to push Shanan into a tier higher than his growths would otherwise allow; it gives the same broken stat boosts as Forseti, falling behind it only by virtue of not being able to attack from a distance. Since he’s currently alone against an army of dark mages and mercenaries, he’s gonna need it.

Well, okay, he’s not alone, but he might as well be because Patty is, unfortunately, a level one thief. She’s, as you see from the Minor Odo and Minor Ullur blood, the daughter of Bridget and Holyn, and one of the pairs of kids in the game who inherits the gear of her opposite gendered parent; she gets Holyn’s gear and swords. Unfortunately, even with her Odo blood, she can only use swords up to B-rank, and I was a dimwit and didn’t leave Holyn with one of those for her to inherit. So she only has her default weapon, a Sleep Edge, which is unfortunately kind of too heavy for a fragile speedster to really put to its best use. Like Dew before her she will eventually turn out pretty good; better than Dew himself by a good margin due to having Holy Blood growth boosts and inheriting Holyn’s Luna skill, but she’s… gonna take some babying.

And now a member of the other pair of kids who take after the opposite parents. Prince Leif, son of Quan and Ethlyn, and heir to his mother’s swords (unfortunately not her staves because… well, because Fire Emblem hates the players, and despite being the same class as Lachesis, who could use staves, he can’t until he promotes). As a Prince, he starts off on the weak side and becomes a demon god when he promotes to Master Knight; he’s a little easier to get there than good ol’ Lachesis was, though, on account of having much better growths and inheriting Adept and Critical from his parents. However, he’s also going to need some babying to achieve his full power.

All grown up and ready to kick ass, Finn is unchanged from his appearance in the first generation stat-wise, and still has all his kick-ass old spears. Our Finn turned out really well, you may recall, and so he’s going to be doing a lot of the legwork in keeping Leif alive. He’s also only 32 EXP away from promoting, so he should be improving himself even more by the end of the map. I’m frankly amazed; I’ve never gotten a Finn that was able to hold up in the endgame of the second gen, but this one may actually pull it off. He’s already slightly better than Oifey without even getting his promotion stat boosts.

And last but not least, Nanna. She’s Beowulf and Lachesis’s daughter, and Dermott’s sister, and a fairly solid unit. If nothing else, she’s a Troubador like good old Ethlyn was, meaning she has staves and a horse. Her growths are pretty below-average for a second generation unit, but she’ll never be useless simply by virtue of being a healer with a huge range of movement. And with Pursuit and Accost from dear old dad, she should turn out to be a pretty solid combat unit as well if she gets lucky.

… Don’t be like Ethlyn, Nanna. She isn’t even your mom, you just share her class. Please.

*whew*

All right, that’s it for new units, so let’s rock. The main army begins moving west towards the desert; there’s a small army of dark mages in their way, but too far away from us to reach on this turn. Dark Magic is a pain in the ass as you may recall; it’s outside the weapon triangles, which means nothing has an advantage against it. Even Light magic only manages ‘neutral’ and all other magic is inferior. So…. I’m not in a huge hurry to fight them, but Julia will be pulling her weight here, I tell you that. Leif, Finn, and Nanna, on the other hand, begin moving south toward the many villages in their section of the map. There are, of course, tons of bandits, so we’ll need to rush if we want to kill them before Blume’s army reaches us.

End turn.

You… you guys can stay out in the desert if you want…

But my cartoonish terror aside, only one enemy can actually reach us this turn, a mercenary who takes a shot at Shanan.

It coulda gone better for him.

On our turn, I move most of the army to the north; I want Julia to bear the brunt of the mage assault, backed up by Arthur with his book of invincibility. I also take this opportunity to have Oifey have a chat with Dermott.

Oifey: Sir Finn, you say… you’re eager to have the chance to see her again, aren’t you?

Dermott: Yes sir! I can hardly wait!

Oifey: Heh. You’ll have to give this battle your all first, then! How about a quick lesson?

Dermott: Yes, sir! I’d appreciate that!

Normally I would say that during a battle isn’t the right time to be exercising, but it gives Dermott a permanent +1 boost to his Strength, Skill, and Defense, so I’m not gonna complain.

Now, Patty and Shanan. The thing about this situation is that Patty really cannot fight anything here, so Shanan is gonna have to carry this situation while she hides. But while the enemy is coming from the east, there’s also two enemies south of them coming along the ridge.

And guess what, of course Patty can’t fight them either. So this is gonna be a dance. First, the mages are the biggest threat. They have very little chance of hitting Shanan while he’s got his ubersword in hand, but if they hit he’s fucked. So let’s deal with that first.

One down, a small army to go.

And Patty is safe for the moment. The two swordsmen should both die on Shanan this turn, so she can move in again around the time the southern wing starts getting close. Neat. And now for Leif’s team;

Leif and Nanna use mad teamwork to barely defeat a single enemy. I’m so… proooud? Nanna follows up by liberating the village, stopping them from ever touching it.

Passive Aggressive: Lord Quan… Lady Ethlyn… I pray you’re both proud of your son… please, kind knight, accept this Speed Ring. I’d like you to wear it proudly to your battles.

… I wish I’d let Leif have that instead of Nanna, but I forgot it was there. Eh, I’ll cope. I have Finn make a run for the farthest village he can reach, the goal being to kill the bandits more than loot anything. He’s actually got funds left from his own army days, so he doesn’t really need the money. I just want to stop these jerks from torching the money which will be divvied up later amongst my noble men. End turn! The dark mages move in and one takes a swing at our girl Julia.

“SECRET PRINCESS… BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!”

And over near Yied…

Shanan you are the man. Forget prince, my man, you’re KING.

…. Fuck, story is happening. What now? Do we really need more enemies? Really?

(Celice and Serlis were common fan translations for Seliph’s name before Intelligent Systems confirmed an official one. Someone’s in the writer’s booth is being snippy~)

Bramsel: The Empire’s put a hefty price on that boy’s head. Let’s make sure we’re the ones to rake in the bounty, shall we? Keep our border locked down for the time being. The best option is to let them run themselves ragged, leaving them wide open to our strike! Instruct commander Jabarro to put his squad on standby. His services will be needed in short order!

(Okay, game, that’s literally just Eldigan with a different colored shirt. You could at least try to keep these things a mystery.)

Ribbons: Oh, that’s good. I guess I’m a bit worried about how you’re gonna have to go and fight too, Ares…

Ares: What sorry excuse for a mercenary would I be if I refused to join a battle, Lene? Never mind one which, rumor has it, will oppose Sigurd’s son… never would I deny a chance to personally slay the spawn of my father’s mortal foe.

Lene: Hee hee! You’re still going on about that, are you? Oh, you dolt.

(Lene Burn!)

Lene: I mean, think about it. Both your father and that Sigurd man were knights, weren’t they? And isn’t killing part of a knight’s job? It’s like my job. Sometimes I have to dance for foul, leering men! I hate it, but it’s part of the work. I have to just deal with it. We’ve all gotta do what we’ve gotta do to get by in life. I dunno… I just don’t think it’s right to hate someone for doing their job.

Ares: Lene… I understand. I’ll have to think it over for a time, but I do understand…

And with that (and a very off-putting few seconds of movement while the other enemy faction down in Leif’s area moves around aimlessly) we have our turn back. Julia strikes down her foes with the power of a queen.

And Arthur powers up the Invinci-cannon.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm that’s the stuff. I discretely move Lana back toward the castle because I realize I forgot to repair all her staves, while everyone else moves to the west, getting ready to intercept one slow mage coming up through the desert. Julia is our queen and she shall slay the bulk of these filthy peasants, but she’s kind enough to leave her leftovers for the other, lesser souls.

Oh, and Shanan is here too.

Actually not bad! Like I said, his growths are actually not great, and Defense is one of his less impressive stats at the moment, so I’ll take it. And finally, the Leif team.

… I missed you so much, Finn. Leif and Nanna need to team up and use the power of friendship and proclaim the power of Sailor Moon just to kill a bandit, while Finn is just BAM, BRAVE LANCE, DONE. Weapon Triangle? For bitches.

End turn!

You are nothing to her, worms.

And that’s the only combat for this turn, barring someone taking a shot at Shanan and missing. Which, speaking of, I think it’s time for Shanan to start moving on. See, the boss in Yied Castle actually does find that tome he was talking about in the opening cutscene if you wait to long, and then he starts blasting you. So the guy who missed him last turn gets to live, because he’s moving in to slaughter the castle defenders and assassinate the boss. And we add one more kill to the Daughter of the World-ender.

Estuans interius

Ira vehementi

Estuans interius

Ira vehementi

Julia

But there’s a lot of them, and if I let her kill them all, the game will last forever. So I have some peons take a shot.

… I hate dark mages.

Lester if you wanted to make me happy, gaining a point in damn magic wasn’t the way to do it. I have Fee start running across the desert to join Shanan, since she has enough resistance to be trustworthy around these jerks, and have Seliph move onto a forest in the range of one mage. My hope is that he’ll dodge this one while Julia crushes the others, then everyone can gang up on the sole survivor.

See, Lester? This is what being reliable looks like. Finn has weapon triangle disadvantage and he’s still wrecking these jerks. Just for that, he gets some money that he doesn’t need.

Apparently Not Sure What ‘Terrifying’ Means: Then there’s Tinni, a young mage… Blume’s niece she may be, but that girl’s still got a kind heart on her. She’s come to our aid and the aid of our neighbor villages time and again… she’s nothing like her family.

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORESHADOWING. Let’s wrap things up with the Friendship Team.

Not bad. I would normally complain about the lack of offensive growth of any kind, but Speed and Defense in the same level really makes up for it. End turn!

… And luckily, the AI is kind of dumb, and prioritizes Julia because it can’t miss her. Thing is, it also can’t kill her. She doubles the dark mages, and Nosferatu heals her when she hits them. So they hit her once, and she hits them back twice and eats their health to get back to full power.

…. Oops. Did I leave Leif in enemy range? Well, he’s doing well so far, no biggie. Our turn begins on a fairly strong position with one exception: A dark mage is close enough to Patty he might attack her. If that goes wrong, I’m screwed! I messed this up badly. Patty, run. Run, Patty. Run.

…. Fuck. She can’t run. I… ugh. Okay, well. Patty has one shot at this and it’s very, very unlikely she’ll pull it off.

… Nope, didn’t do it. If he’d fallen asleep from getting hit by her Sleep Edge, she could have maybe held out until Shanan got back to her, but he didn’t and as a result she’s dead on the enemy phase regardless of what I do. Reset.

All right. Looking ahead on things with the foresight of someone paying attention to where units are actually standing, I do a few things differently. First, Shanan kills the last enemy in his area so Patty can’t get caught in a pincer.

That done, Patty runs over to hide under his skirt.

Two, remembering well that Lester got creamed, I hand it to Johan, who also can’t miss but hits somewhat harder.

Good job, Johan. You’re not gonna be marrying Larcei, because something about you worries me. But good job. Team Leif, meanwhile, does exactly what they did before and it goes about as well, only Leif actually gets a somewhat better level!

No magic, of course. He takes after his mother, after all. Okay! End Turn, and let’s try this again.

And hey, Julia remembers she has Adept and kills two of the mages she only wounded last time! Her dark power grows. She also gained a slightly different level, but I lost the screenshot: +1HP, +1 Magic, +1 Speed. I’ll take it gleefully.

… Less Gleeful, but Nanna will fix that right up.

Right then. Our turn starts, and the main army has only two mages left to kill. Arthur wipes out the one Julia crippled earlier…

While Julia moves herself to intercept the final one. In fact, this is mostly a turn of moving, because few people make any real attacks. Shanan moves toward the boss, Patty moves to hide behind him, the army moves toward Yied, and Leif… moves back toward the castle he was told to abandon.

Yeah. Yeah. We’re not giving up. Fuck that. Nanna patches him, and he makes a run toward Leonster! He is going to defend his home. And hopefully gain some needed levels.

… This might end badly.

End turn!

Well, Julia’s back to not killing things. That’s nice. Well, it’s our turn again, and she’ll fix that.

Yum. Shanan finally starts the attack on Yied proper…

And Leif takes up position to wait out the siege.

This is a risk. I’m very much not sure it will work. But the enemy army is almost entirely armor, which means only one of them can attack Leif at a time, and with the castle he gets a bonus to evasion and heals every turn. If he manages to kill all these fuckers and gets mostly decent levels, he will be pretty much set for the rest of the game. Don’t be like your mother, Leif.

End turn.

…. Nothing happens on the enemy phase, so. At this point, Shanan could just walk up and shank the boss, but if he does that Patty will die to the other units in the area. So instead he runs up to hit this guy…

And Patty once more hides under his skirt. Fee, who has finally arrived after a million years, takes up position to intercept the incoming swordsman that’s behind them. I forgot to repair her spear after her arena runs, but she should be able to hold out.

I’m… not doing well on this map.

Now, Seliph is needed to liberate Yied and Larcei has a conversation with Shanan, so I send the two of them into the desert while the rest of the army starts moving south. As soon as we take the shrine the rest of the map opens up, and I want soldiers in position. Similarly, Nanna and Finn move into position to support Leif if he needs it; hopefully he will not, between his bitchin’ sword and strong defensive position. End turn…

FEE! DODGE!

LEIF! DON’T EMULATE HER!

Hoo boy. This may have been a mistake. Um… okay, guys. Take your shots. Don’t fuck this up.

Light Bright, on! It doesn’t kill the armor, unfortunately, but Leif is technically hitting him from a distance here and can’t be countered, so it works out. Shanan, can you please shank the boss?

Damn, you sure can. Um… end turn. Patty will die if she attacks anyone. This is bad. This is super bad. Unless for some reason the enemy all go for someone else, we’re a bit screwed. In fact we might be screwed anyway if the swordsman can double her.

OH THANK YOU JESUS. The remaining mage attacked Shanan, and when the sword guy hit Patty her Sleep Edge worked for once and caught him, so he’s immobilized for a few turns. Oh. Oh, man. Thank you. We live another turn, though this is still gonna be wonky to get out of unless the enemy AI futzes up again and keeps trying to zap Shanan. Leif, as well, gives a good showing…

One down, way too many to go. On our turn, I have Shanan clear out one of the two remaining mages:

And move Patty behind him, and…

And win. The battle for Yied Shrine is over, and despite fucking up like seven times, we came out on top. The sole remaining mage can only attack Shanan, who he cannot one-shot and who definitely can one-shot him in return. The swordsman down in the corner there is asleep for five more turns, so Patty can plink him to death and get some much-needed Experience.

Leif kills another armor, meanwhile, and continues his long but sure ascent to godhood. It’s never 100% safe to assume in FE, but with two levels in a row that good, I’m reasonably sure that Leif will hold the castle against all comers. Once we get him to an Arena he should be well on his way to outright amazing before the end of the chapter. End turn.

*sniff* Everything is coming together for the end, I swear. What follows is going to be very boring, as barring a few more armors spawning in Leif’s area, there’s no threats left. So it’s going to be nothing but Seliph wandering the desert like Moses while we plink away at enemies. So here’s the highlights.

Shanan: You went and took back Isaach behind my back, did you, Seliph? I can’t thank you enough!

Seliph: No, we’d still be in Tirnanog if not for you. You inspired us. You gave us your courage. If not for you, we could never have taken to the field!

Shanan: Heh, you’re starting to put on a bit of muscle there, aren’t you? You’re finally starting to…

Seliph: Shanan…?

Shanan: Hm? Oh, it’s nothing. Pay me no mind, Seliph.

Seliph: Anyway,we’re finally starting to challenge the empire! Not bad, wouldn’t you say?

Shanan: Heh, not bad at all. I’ve waited so long for this day… we all have, really.

Seliph: Thank you, Shanan!

(Seliph gains +1 Skill from this, because… um… it was… a very… skillful discussion?)

Larcei: Don’t worry about it! The important part is you’re safe. I, er…

Shanan: How’s your sword arm doing? Any stronger?

Larcei: Yes, but still far below your prowess, sir.

Shanan: How about a quick lesson to patch that up. See, raw power isn’t quite enough here. Try putting a bit more spirit into it… and swing!

Larcei: Nnnn-yah! Like this, sir?

(Must be, because she gets +2 strength from that. Hell of a workout, apparently.)

(Nanna, I swear to God if you don’t get some magic growth I will shave your ridiculous 80′s hair.)

(Fucking finally. I realize that was quick for you, but for me it was like twelve turns of sand and non-threatening combat that wasn’t even worth showing.)

Lewyn: They had no choice. Trying to build new lives on the surface would have led to their mass persecution, or even being burned at the stake. I suspect that at first they weren’t really bad or unusual people, but before long, their life here twisted them into what we know them as today.

(Not to question your wisdom, Lewyn, but they probably could have built a life on the surface if they didn’t insist on worshipping a god that eats children.)

Seliph: I can hardly believe it… It’s as if they were being tortured for the sins of their long-dead ancestors…

(Well, I mean, dude, they did keep worshipping Loptyr. Who, again, eats children.)

Seliph: All my life, these people have been branded as ‘the dark cult’ or ‘devil’s kin’. I can hardly imagine their pain… hold a moment. This scribble on the wall… is that a child’s penmanship? It’s a prayer. And it begs for the return of the dark god… was loptyr the only hope these people had?

(No, forgetting Loptyr and moving on to the worship of… I dunno, Fluffingor, god of soft things. That would have been a good hope. I’m all for freedom of religion, I know people like to keep to their faith, but when your god eats children you really need to reconsider.)

Lewyn: Yeah… Consider this a lesson, Seliph. Good and evil can’t be easily reduced to simple, black-and-white ideals. If you must hate, hate the evil that lurks in us all, not the individual. Never forget this.

Welp. As much as I’d love to sit around and debate morality with Lewyn (Again, my counter-argument would be ‘don’t worship a child-eating demon’, but you’d be shocked how applicable that is), we’ve taken the castle and I’m very tired. You guys take a nice week off while I sleep. I should wake up by the time the next update is due. Maybe.

Resets: 21. Level One Thief syndrome is a terrible thing.

Part 18

#Let's play fire emblem #let's play fire emblem four #let's play #Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War #fire emblem 4 #lp #let's play fe4 #my writing

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