#ya imma scream into the internet for this one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bubblyqueer000 · 3 years ago

Text

🤯(APRIL FOOLS JOKE POST PART 2) Mondo Owada x Me???!?!?!?🤯

Hello!! So I wrote a satire fanfic last year on April fools day shipping my internet persona ‘Bubz’ with Mondo Danganronpa the rat of my dreams. You can find that here. Btw these joke fics are not proofread at all. To add onto that I just got new acrylics and I’m still getting used to typing with them so… Reading this essentially going to feel like you’re having a stroke… Enjoy!

Yoooo it’s Bubz chan again! Back at it again with another LEGIIIIIIT smut fic. It was day whatever the fuck at hopes peak and I was getting my ass POUNDED by my new boyfriend Adam Sandler. I MEANT MONDO OWADA. I SAID MONDO OWADA AND IF YOU THINK I SAID ADAM SANDLER YOU SMELL LIKE MONOKUMA’S COCK AND BALLS. Anyways 🙄. Mondo was absolutely RAILING me.

“*cooms*” and I feel his splooge running down my legs. I was just about to finish faking my orgasm when he pulled out. This was now a daily occurrence.

“I sure am lucky I decided to get my tubes tied that one time when a child killed me in a game of COD (hehe gamer gurl moment)”

“Holy fuck… You play video games… I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i’ve n-n-n-n-n-n-never m-m-m-m-m-met a g-g-g-g-girl who p-p-p-p-plays v-v-v-v-video games” he blushed and I could tell that he came again (I knew because he was nekkid hehehehe) We fucked for 39876787282717382 more hours I mean days I mean years I mean minutes and then left the room.

In the cafeteria was the rest of the other students and they were wondering where we were for so long since we were gone for 39876787282717382 minutes fookin’. Wait how long is 39876787282717382 minutes in years? Hold up let me google it. MONDO AND I WERE FUCKING FOR 75869077782.94783 YEARS??? WHAT THE FUCK??? Okay well I guess the students were waiting for 75869077782.94783 years so for the rest of the fic just imagine us all really really old.

“Greetings fellow kids, please meet in the gym uwu” said monokuma who was now a scrunkly old man. So we all went to the gym because we didn’t want to get killed by an old ass bear.

“Hey fuckos” said wrinklyballsackkuma. “Guess what?? I found some dirt on ur asses and if you dont kill eachother imma show everyone heheheh” then he disappeared because fuck him.

I opened up the letter and inside it was a piece of paper that says ‘Bubz chan is a furry who fakes having DID and tourettes on tiktok’ (THIS IS A JOKE I DON’T EVEN POST ON TIKTOK PLS DON’T CANCEL ME)

I shake and a puddle of yellow liquid starts to form underneath me as I piss myself out of fear.

“Well shit one of yall are gonna die tonight and it’s not gonna be me so later” I say and then mondo and I go back to his room and do the devil’s tango 🤠.

The next morning I woke up and monokuma was on the fucking announcer thing yelling SO. LOUD!!!!!!

“Hey one of you guys died so go find who did it said monokuma” said monokuma.

~~~TIME SKIP TO THE END OF THE CLASS TRIAL BECAUSE I DECIDED TO BE FUCKIN JUNKO ENOSHIMA AND IM NOT USED TO THESE CLAWS YET~~~

“WAIT.. BABE, YOU KILLED CHIHIRO??”

“Yeah soz”

“... AH!” I said offendedly like a girl boss “BITCH IMMA SMACK THE SHIT OUT CHU”

The two of us screamed at eachother and then recited the entirety of ‘I gotta go my own way’ from high school musical 2 while we both sobbed. My eyeliner ran down my face.

“Please don’t cry... My little hot topic employee.” Mondo bent down and licked all of the black tears off of my face. “I’ll be with Daiya now. And when you die we can all have a threesome so it’s okay C:”

“K lol” I say while soobing. Mondo nuzzled my neckie weckie.

“Goodbye Bubz chan. I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too… my buzzy beautiful sunshine nugget.”

AND THEN WE BONED ONE LAST TIME RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS RIGHT BEFORE HE GOT EXECUTED THE END… OR IS IT?????? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 *vine boom*

(No it’s not I’ll post another satire next April. Love ya!)

#crosspost #danganronpa #fanfic #trigger happy havoc #ao3 #danganronpa x reader #anime #mondo oowada x reader #mondo owada x reader #archive of our own #mondo owada #mondo x reader #mondo butter

7 notes · View notes

heart-of-gold-outlaw · 5 years ago

Text

A Smile is Something to Be Cherished, Dear: an Arthur Morgan x Modern!Reader Fanfic

"If I have to chop one more piece of firewood," you say as you brandish your axe, "Imma start wearing flannel. Y'all can call me Lumber Jack. Or maybe Jack Lumber. Or Lack Jumber. Or--"

"For chrissakes," Micah snarls. He's sharpening his knife at a nearby table. "We get it, Y/N."

You shrug and bring the axe down hard, splitting a piece of wood clean in two with one swing. "I pretended it was your head."

To give him credit, Micah doesn't do or say much of anything in retalition. Instead, he just sighs, mutters to himself, and leaves. You're glad to see him go. Over the last few weeks, ever since Arthur found you in the Grizzlies, freezing and terrified, you've decided Micah Bell is your least favorite out of the bunch. Something about him just screams "psychopath." You're surprised that Dutch, for all his intelligence, can't see it.

You've only been with the Van Der Linde gang for a little while. Honestly, you're not too sure what to make of all them. Hosea seems nice enough, and Dutch treats you fair, which is all you can ask for. They may not be the most conventional people, but they're trying their best to do right by you. The whole thing makes your head spin. A few weeks ago, you were in your living room, screaming through a twelve-page essay due the next day. Now? Now you're a hundred and thirty-ish years in the past... and running with a bunch of outlaws at that.

Yeah. Not exactly the life you thought you'd live. But hey: at least you're not dead.

You finish chopping firewood and set the axe aside. Nobody really says for sure that you have to do chores, but you don't like feeling useless. And besides: everybody in the Van Der Linde gang does their part. Why should you be the only exception?

A few of the girls--Tilly, Karen, and Mary-Beth, if you've got their names down--lounge by one of the wagons when you approach. They look up and offer you what seem like genuine smiles. You give one of your own and plop yourself in the grass next to them.

"How're you holdin' up, Y/N?" The blonde one--Karen, you think--asks. "I know this all must be pretty strange."

"Yeah," Tilly murmurs. "We just wanna make sure you're doin' okay."

You blink, then immediately switch gears. They didn't catch you off-guard. Nosiree. "I'm okay." You shrug one shoulder. "Beats what I was doing back in my time."

Mary-Beth leans forward excitedly, and you briefly think she's going to grab your hand. You get ready to pull away, just in case.

"Must be quite the experience, time travel and all," she says, practically vibrating. "What's the future like, Y/N?"

"Mary-Beth," Karen admonishes with a roll of her eyes, "don't ask them that. Haven't they been through enough?"

"Oh lay off." Mary-Beth swats her away with a mischeivous grin. You can practically see the gears turning in her head. "I'm just askin' what everybody's thinkin'."

Your heart hammers in your chest as you think overtime about what to say. You're still not sure how this whole thing works, if there are things you shouldn't say, things that might prove catastrophic to the timeline and whatnot. Every science fiction movie you've ever seen suddenly plays in your head. And even though they all vary in success, one thing's clear: time is messy. Space-time is even messier. Travel through both? Might as well call it a goddamn hurricane.

Thankfully, Tilly notices your discomfort and gives Mary-Beth a hard look. "Y/N doesn't have to answer all your questions, y'know." She shifts into a glare. "Maybe give them some time to get used to everything first, okay?"

Bless Tilly Jackson, you decide. The only voice of reason in the bunch.

You're about to thank her, or maybe you're about to change the subject, when Uncle comes tearing up to your little group, that wild smile on his face you've learned means trouble. Still, when he mentions going to a small livestock town, you all but jump at the offer. You've been meaning to see what ordinary life looks like in the past. Maybe this is the perfect opportunity.

And no, you tagging along has nothing to do with the fact that Arthur's going to be there, too.

// // // // // //

The journey into Valentine is pretty uneventful, save for a broken wagon... and someone getting kicked to death by their own horse. The girls scream when they see it, and Uncle jumps a little. Even Arthur mutters a soft "shit" under his breath. You, though, just stare. It isn't the first dead body you've seen. Probably won't be the last, either, if you have to guess.

"God, I wish that were me," you find yourself saying, thinking of the internet back in your time, of the dark humor, and how it's used as a coping mechanism.

Five heads immediately swivel your way. Tilly, Mary-Beth, and Karen stare at you with their mouths agape, while Uncle watches you like you've grown a third arm out of your chest. Arthur eyes you with a look you can't read, and you briefly wonder what's wrong. Then, it hits you like a sledgehammer and you internally groan.

Right, you think. Generational gaps.

"I'm joking," you explain. "It's how we cope in my time."

Luckily, Arthur chooses that moment to urge the horses forward, and the wagon starts toward Valentine again. The incident quickly fades, and the girls are soon buzzing with excitement. You can't help but feel a little anxious. Adjusting to the Van Der Linde gang has been tough; you don't want to be overwhelmed by everything once you get into town. With that in mind, you decide to stick close to Arthur. Just since he found you, that's all. It's the familiarity, you tell yourself. Nothing else.

Valentine isn't the most glamorous of places, but it's not too shabby, either. Immediately, you're in awe. A frontier town. An actual frontier town in the 1890's. The history nerd in you threatens to explode as you pass by the shops, the saloon, and the stables. Arthur stops the wagon in a little clearing just after the general store. You barely notice.

"Alright," he says, low and firm. "Remember: keep a low profile, but try an' find some leads. No trouble now, ya hear?"

The girls murmur various replies, then hop out of the wagon, dashing off like little dogs to sniff out something interesting. You watch them go, then look back to Arthur, silently waiting for him to send you off on your own. He watches you for a moment, as if debating with himself, before he sighs and starts shoving Uncle out of the wagon.

"Go make yourself useful, old man."

Uncle grumbles something under his breath, but ultimately does as he's told. After a few seconds, he disappears into the general store. You're left alone with Arthur. Not that you particularly mind. It's better than any alternative you can think of. As you climb to the ground, legs cramped from the ride, you take a moment to look around. The town isn't really anything special. Oddly enough, you think of the time your best friend dragged you to a rodeo in the middle of Wyoming. Valentine looks something similar to that.

"Holding up okay?" Arthur says, startling you out of your thoughts. You can't help but jump a little when you turn around and find him right behind you. He gives you a look, then sighs and motions toward the stables with his head. "C'mon."

He starts off in their direction. You practically have to jog to keep up with him, but you don't really care about that. Honestly, the thrill of being in a different place (and the past at that) is enough to make you forgive just about anything.

"What d'ya think we'll find?" You ask, almost bouncing up and down with excitement. "Are we gonna--" You break off and lower your voice. "Are we gonna steal some horses?"

Arthur glances down at you and huffs out a laugh... well, half of one, for that matter. "You ain't stealin' anything for a while, Y/N."

"Oh." You don't even try to hide your disappointment. "No horses, then?"

He shakes his head, laughing again when you pout. Briefly, you think of sticking out your foot and tripping him, but something tells you that wouldn't end well. You don't want a six-foot-something, pissed off outlaw chasing you around... especially when he's your ride home.

The two of you reach the stables, and Arthur holds the door for you. You skip past him, stopping dead when you catch sight of the rows and rows of stalls. The horses are absolutely beautiful. Almost instantly, your eyes zero in on a Appaloosa gelding, and before you know what you're doing, you're walking over and gently touching the tip of his nose. He whinnies softly, nuzzling your hand a few seconds later. And as you stare at him, absently stroking the side of his face, you realize Arthur's moved to stand beside you.

"I think he likes me," you say. You brush the horse's mane back from his forehead. "Always wanted a horse."

The corners of Arthur's lips twitch, but he doesn't smile. Instead, he looks at the stall--at the price--and shakes his head.

"Maybe next time, Y/N." He gently steers you away. "Why don't you check on Uncle, make sure he ain't dead. I'll finish up here."

You sigh and head out of the stables, narrowly missing a pile of horse manure. A quick peek at the general store reveals Uncle's passed out cold in the front. You shake your head with a small grin. At least you don't have to worry about him causing any trouble.

As you start to head toward him, you catch sight of Tilly. You can tell by the look on her face that something's wrong, awfully wrong, and almost on cue, an angry-looking man grabs her arm and hauls her toward an alley. You feel your breath hitch. Still, you're practically running their way before you can stop and think about a better approach. You have no ideas, no plan other than go go go. Not that it matters. From what it looks like, Tilly needs somebody there--right now.

You round the corner and see her pressed against the wall, the angry man's face close to hers. Neither one of them seems to know you're there. Good. Taking those blessed extra seconds, you spy a rock on the ground and quickly pick it up. It's decent in size. Won't kill a man, but it'll hurt like hell. That's all you need.

With aim that's really more luck than skill, you hurl the rock at the man with all the force you can muster. It strikes him square on the side of the head. Solid. A great hit. He stumbles to the side a little as Tilly's wild, frightened eyes find yours. Something about them makes you more brazen than before, and you take a few steps toward the man, hands clenched into fists.

"Back off," you hiss. "Now."

The man, who unfortunately looks like he's recovered from his shock, glares at you. Then, before you can even track him, he's barreling toward you, grabbing your shoulders and pinning you against the side of the alley. You feel the breath leave your lungs in one big gust.

"You made a helluva mistake," he snarls, putrid breath wafting over your face.

You gag and try to get a knee or a leg or something up to hit him, but there's no use. He's got you trapped. Dimly, you're aware that Tilly's gone, and you have a brief moment of triumph. Smart girl. The last thing you need is for her to get hurt, too.

"My entire life's a mistake," you gasp out between gulps for air. "... Why don't you add this to the list?"

Whether that was the right thing to say or not, you'll never know. In the next few seconds, just as you're certain the guy's reeling his fist back for a punch, his weight's suddenly gone and you're slumping to the ground. You can hear shouting, cursing, and words you really don't want to repeat. And through it all--one thing is constant.

Arthur's here.

Several seconds later (or maybe it's minutes; you honestly lose track of time), strong, warm hands are hauling you upright. They're also surprisingly gentle. Calloused and slightly bloody, but gentle.

"Easy, Y/N," Arthur soothes when your breathing becomes frantic. "You're alright."

Somehow, you find the courage to look up at him. He's watching you, concern in his eyes, and you hate that you're the cause of it. Still, you've never been more glad to see him.

"I thought he was gonna kill me," you find yourself saying. Then--you start to laugh. Hysterical, unstoppable chortles that come from no rational part of your mind. "Oh man, I looked the Devil in the eye and walked backwards into hell, didn't I?"

Arthur frowns, then glances around. You're suddenly aware that a crowd's gathering... and that it's probably a good idea to get the hell out of town.

"C'mon," he says, carefully leading you back to the wagon. "I think that's enough excitement for one day."

Finally got around to writing my Arthur Morgan x Modern!Reader multi-chapter fic. Y’know... the one I promised ages and ages ago. Hope ya enjoyed! I’ll also be posting this to AO3 under the username Nopride4531, so if ya wanna leave a comment or a kudos, feel free!

Likes, reblogs, and comments are much appreciated! Take care y’all!

Next Chapter: Lionheart

Inspired Playlist Track: Panic! At the Disco -- “High Hopes”

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #modern!reader #arthur morgan x modern!reader #arthur morgan x reader #2nd person pov #hurt/comfort #fic #my writing #rdr2 fic #rdr2 fanfiction #rdr2 fanfic #cowboys #outlaws #yeehaw

358 notes · View notes

pixelatedrose · 5 years ago

Text

Soulbound Part Two

First | Part 2 | Next

Ao3 link

Masterpost

Word Count: 2,955

Pairings: Platonic LAMP, Prinxiety, Logicality, Background Remile

Warnings: uncensored swearing, bullying, mention of drugs and alcohol, threats, Unsympathetic Remus, Unsympathetic Deceit, implied mention of sex (wow this fic went from 1 to like 67 real fast) Please leave a comment and tell me if I missed anything that should be tagged or if you want anything tagged!

Summary:

Roman Prince and Logan Rose are soulmates. They’re platonic soulmates though. They both have the same Soul mark to prove it. But they both have one other soul mark, binding them to one other person. And when they find Patton Miles, it just so happens that they’re both his soulmate. Logan being his Soulbound Soulmate, and Roman being a platonic soulmate. But something feels missing. And it feels filled, shockingly so, when they meet a certain someone a year and a half after they found each other.

IMPORTANT NOTE!! I changed all of their last names cause I didn't like them. So. Yeah. Also sorry this seems a bit late, I got caught up with doing things and school and we had a ton of snow (where I live we never get snow) and so I was a little distracted all week. Sorry about that y'all!! But its here now, so yeah!! Hope you enjoy!!

Chapter 2

Roman woke up with a start, his wrist stinging. He looked over at his clock that read a time much to late- or early- for it to be reasonable. He rubbed his stinging skin and tried to go back to sleep.

This was a regular occurrence. Waking up at two am to a stinging wrist or shoulder, sometimes an ankle or forearm. Once he woke up nearly screaming as his left side felt like it was on fire.

He didn't quite know what it was, but Roman never thought much about it. I mean, people woke up with little pricks sometimes, right? He'd probably slept on it wrong or accidentally hit his bedframe in his sleep.

Roman lay in bed, tossing and turning as he tried to fall back asleep. He looked over to the clock once again and sighed. It was only an hour before his alarm went off.

Not seeing the point in trying to go to sleep anymore, Roman swung his legs over the side of his bed and started getting ready for the day.

After taking a shower and pulling in clothes, Roman's alarm rang out two seconds after he was done styling and drying his previously wet hair. He slapped it off as quick as possible, suddenly not wanting to wake anyone else up.

Roman inched out of his room and into his brother's, flipping on the lights, much to his brother's dismay.

"Turn the goddamn lights off…." His brother muttered through his pillow.

Roman sighed. "Nope! C'mon Remus, it's time for you to rise and shine- or whatever it is that you do when you're awake- and get ready for the first day of school!" He walked over to the broad window and threw open the blinds, letting light filter and flow into the already lot room, the sun beams hitting Roman's twin in the face.

"AaaAAAHH!!" His brother screamed. He sat up in bed and shielded his face. He glared at Roman after adjusting to the light. "I'm going to sell your organs on the internet you pile of horse sh-"

"Love you too, brother! I'm gonna go make breakfast now okay bye!!" Roman zipped downstairs, not wanting to stick around to see whether his brother would act on that threat or not.

Ten minutes later Remus came loudly down the stairs and yelled at his brother. "DID YOU GET OUT ALL THE CEREAL AND THE POPTARTS?!!?"

Roman sighed, looking at the counter that was overflowing with four different cereals and a box of poptarts. "YEAH BRO MAN I GOTCHU!!" He yelled back.

Remus entered the kitchen area with his heavy heeled boots and skipped over to the cereals. He poured a little of each box into a bowl and unwrapped a poptart and crumbled it on top. He went to the fridge and pulled out a carton of not milk but orange juice and poured it into the abomination that was in his bowl.

Roman looked away and tried focusing back on the eggs he had in the pan in front of him. "I cannot believe that you actually eat that, Remus! It's revolting!" Roman bemused.

Remus shoveled a spoonful into his mouth, staring at pointedly. "You," he sputtered through the mouthful of 'Cereal'. "My brother, have no taste." He swallowed and gestured to his bowl. "This is a masterpiece of a meal!!"

Roman made gagging noise and slid his single solitary egg onto a piece of toast. "That's not even a meal! I daresay it would harm someone rather than anything else!"

Remus scoffed and took another bite.

~~•~~

Today was the first day of their sophomore year, 10th grade and they couldn't wait for it to start. Or at least, Roman was excited. Remus had made his opinion adamant; he couldn't care less if the school caught fire.

But nonetheless, it was a day they'd all been awaiting, whether eagerly or with disdain.

Patton had stuffed his backpack full of snacks and colorful pins as gifts for his new classmates and friends.

Roman had excitedly roused his voice in preparation for theater and barber shop choir he was sure to audition for.

Logan had packed up notebooks and pencils and pens, all fitting perfectly in his backpack as he awaited learning, a year ahead of his peers.

Remus had done nothing but think up pranks and plans of destruction of freshman newbies for the start of the year. His phone pinged and he picked it up to look at it.

A boy known around school as Deceit had discretely packed his bag and pockets full of liquors and drugs to sell to anyone who'd buy. He looked at his email and raised an eyebrow. He turned to his messages and shot a text to his partner.

And a person of seemingly infinitesimal importance shrugged on a black and purple jacket and sighed heavily. He didn't look forward to this. What's to say it was going to be any different from last time?

And so, life started as sophomores for each and every one of them.

~~•~~

Virgil Sanders walked up to the front of his new high school. A place to start over… he thought.

He pushed his way through the doors and tried to think positively.

"Well helloooo there my good newbie of a kid!!" A voice rang out. Virgil startled back and bumped into someone behind him. How did someone get behind him so fast??

"Ah, ah! Don't be scared my good pal!" The person behind him said, his voice was a little too reassuring, a little too happy.

"I-I'm sorry...I'll just find my own way around…" he stammered out. He didn't want to try and be cocky and make enemies this early into the school year. And his anxiety was telling him to play it safe.

He didn't even see the two that were harassing him before a voice trilled out, "Oh there you are, babe!!"

Virgil felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. "Hon-ey you've got to stop running off like that! Gurl, you're gonna lose that cute purple head of yours in the crowd if your not careful!" Virgil looked up to see a boy wearing aviator shades and a leather jacket.

"Uhm--?"

Virgil started before the sunglasses'd guy turned and whispered in his ear, "Just play along, babe…"

"Right…" Virgil turned and kissed the strange man's cheek. "Sorry babe, won't happen again." He cuddled up to the man and wrapped his arms around his waist. If he was gonna play the part, might as well make it convincing.

"That's right honey bae! Now let's get you to class!" And the two walked away hand in hand.

As they rounded the corner, the man parted from Virgil and turned on him. "Sorry bout that honey, but gurl you were in real danger there!" He held out a hand. "The name's Remy b-t-dubs."

Virgil shook it. "Virgil. Thanks. And sorry for the kiss."

Remy laughed and waved his hand at Virgil. "Oh pah-lease babe! Trust me I probably enjoyed that more than you think I did!" He winked and laughed again at Virgil's flushed face. "Now, stay outa trouble, ya hear? Cause auntie Remy ain't always gonna be around to save that cute face of yours hun. But here's my number in case you need anything!" Remy took out what looked like a business card and handed it to Virgil.

Auntie Remy. Gossip wheel, late night counseling, party boy.

At the bottom a number was printed. "Hey what-" but Remy was already gone.

What just happened?

~~•~~

Remus was pissed. He had received the text from Deceit that morning that there was fresh meat and he was so ready to spill crickets in that loser's bag! And then that stupid 12th grade dumbass senior Remy had to show up and "save the day."

His eye caught a little freshman boy with broken glasses. He carried his books in his arms and had a smattering of freckles to accompany his bright red hair.

Perfect! Remus thought maliciously. And crept over to sink his teeth into his next victim.

"Hey there freckle face!" He called cheerily.

The boy seemed startled and pointed at himself as if to confirm.

Remus sighed. Wow this kid is dull… "Yeah you, scarecrow reject! Now Imma make this quick since I already lost one lunch income," he started, slinking around the kid. "Hand over the money you mommy gave you for food today else I'll make sure that it won't stay down."

The redhead seemed flustered. "Wh-what? B-but, I need that money!" He subconsciously reached for his pocket.

Bingo. Remus knew his type. Fear would get him what he wanted. He grabbed the kid by the front of his shirt, making the books tumble out of his hands. "Listen here, nerd! You gimme that money or else you're gonna be using it to mend all the bones I'll be snapping in you hand, here!" Remus held up one of the kid's spindly hands as an example, wagging it loosely in his face. His maniacal smile grew as he heard the kid whimper in fear.

Remus put pressure on one of the kid's fingers as the freckled boy didn't move. "Tic-Toc, brainless bastard!" He snickered sadistically.

"Fine!!" The kid yelped in fear and shoved the money at the bully. "Just leave me alone!"

Remus pushed the kid to the ground and shoved the money in his pocket. "As you wish, orange peel!" He stepped on the kid's discarded books and walked over to where Deceit watched.

"40-60, my snake bitch." Remus said, handing his partner 14 dollars of the 35.

Deceit counted the money and nodded. "I'm disappointed the newbie slipped by us…" he looked off at where the purple haired boy had been a few minutes prior. "But I think he'll be back…" His amber eyes glowed a near sickly yellow. "And this time we're playing the long game."

~~•~~

Remus had run off ahead of him so Roman entered the school's doors alone. He had wandered only a few steps inside before a blur of blue and gold barreled into him.

"GOOD TO SEE YOU, KIDDO!!" Patton shouted, squeezing Roman in an impossibly tight hug.

"Gah!! Good to see you too, Patton!! But," Roman gasped out, smiling. "I can't breathe, buddy."

"Oh my GOLLY gee!!" Patton shouted, releasing Roman into open air. "I'm sorry bout that, kiddo!"

"Really Patton, you should know your own strength by now. It'd be quite a shame if I lost my best friend before we graduated." A deep voice called, his voice laced with amusement.

Roman softly pushed Patton aside. "Logan!!" He shouted and subsequently barreled into the tall boy, retracting after a right squeeze to just a shoulder hug. "Buddy, it's good to see you!" He laughed.

Patton made a noise and the two boys turned to look at the shorter one. "And it's not good to see me?! I'm offended! Roman! I am your father-"

"Not my father-"

"And you will love me right now!"

Roman laughed and drew Patton and Logan both into a tight hug. "Man I missed you guys!!"

Logan gently wrapped his arms around the other two and smiled. "As did we, my friend. As did We."

~~•~~

It was like any other start of school day. Read syllabus, play a get to know you game, repeat.

It was really fairly normal for Roman.

Until his third period.

Roman knew nearly everyone in his grade, he had been the popular kid back in middle school and that had mostly transferred when he got into high school. So when roll call was being taken, it piqued his interest when a foreign voice answered a foreign name.

"Roman Prince?"

"You called?" Roman asked charmingly. The teacher looked at him tiredly. Roman cleared his throat. "Here!" He called a little more calmly.

"Flora Riley?"

"Here!"

"Uh...Virgil Sanders?"

Virgil Sanders? Roman thought. Maybe I just don't remember him and I'll recognize his vio-

"Here." A quiet but firm voice answered and Roman checked behind him to see the source of the unrecognized voice.

A boy sat in the back of the class with his feet pressed up against the table, curling himself mostly into a ball in his chair. But even so, Roman could see purple hair peeking out from under his patchwork hoodie and stylish, iconic reverse eyeshadow applied to his face. His ripped black jeans and scuffed combat boots made it obvious that there was a new emo in school.

Cute… Roman thought subconsciously. I mean, he was pretty cute.

"Alright class. We're gonna play a get to know you game. Now come up and draw sticks." The teacher held out a tin full of stocks with names on them and shook it slightly, letting the wood jingle against the run. "You'll be drawing the person you'll be sitting with for the rest of the semester. You may not trade with anyone, and yeah, that sucks but so does school." The class snickered as people drew sticks. There were only enough for half the class, and the other half drew the sticks.

Roman was not part of the group that drew sticks. So he sat idly at his seat and began to daydream about how the year would go.

"You're Roman Prince?" A voice asked.

Roman snapped out of his dreaming and looked up to see Virgil the Emo standing over him. Roman smirked and out a hand to his chest. "The one and only! Come to admire how pretty I am?" He asked charmingly.

The emo snorted. "As in pretty dull? Maybe. It is a wonder of the world after all."

Roman scoffed and pressed his other hand over his heart, as if it hurt. "I'm offended! You wound me!!" Roman held out his hand smiling. "I assume we're seating partners then! How do you do, my emo nightmare?"

Virgil didn't take his hand, rather he just walked to the back of the class. "Come now, Prince of the Preppy, we don't know each other and honestly I don't think we ever will. We're not sitting up front."

Roman frowned at the lack of jest in the emo's voice. He thought he and the purple haired boy were flirting wonderfully!

Since Roman didn't seem to have any other Soul Marks, he didn't have a Soulbound Soulmate. So he freely flirted with every moving thing that breathed.

But Roman wasn't going to give up that easily. "Hey there, plum hair! Tell me, what's it like looking so fruity?"

Virgil snorted, and hid his face in his sleeve.

Nooo!! Roman thought. I wanna see your cute face!!

"I dunno...what's it like being so fruity?"

Roman laughed and tried again to reach out his hand. "An absolute delight!"

When Virgil did nothing but sit down at the table in the farthest back corner of the classroom, Roman deflated a little. This Virgil was cute, albeit a little annoying. I mean all he would do is snark at him! Maybe Roman had misread the situation.

"Fine alright," Roman have up. "I'll stop talking, panic-at-the-everywhere."

"Sweet." Though it was the answer he should have been expecting, Roman prickled.

"So you don't want to talk to me at all?" Roman asked flatly, slightly annoyed.

"No, not really." Virgil said, pulling out his phone.

"Really? Like really Really?"

"Yep." He popped the P and pointedly turned away from Roman.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nope." He again popped the P.

"You know we're going to have to sit next to each other all semester, right?"

"Yeah…? And…?"

"Well you have to talk to me eventually!"

"And I'll stay here dreading when that dreaded eventually will come."

"You cannot be serious! Come on I'm fabulous!"

"Fabulously plastic, dumb, and shallow, if that's what you mean."

"Shallow?!"

"Uh, yeah?"

"How dare-!"

"Alright class!!" The teacher clapped their hands, stopping the impending fight that was about to break out. They started passing out papers to each of the students. "Now choose one or two, or however many you want and ask them to your partner. And yeah it sounds boring and maybe it might be if you're boring. So don't be a boring teenager."

Roman and Virgil got the paper and looked it over. It at least Roman did. He finally picked one and asked it, knowing that trying to wait for the Emo to pay attention would be futile.

"If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?" Roman sighed out.

The answer that came was almost immediate and nearly shook Roman to his core. "Soulmarks." Virgil seemed to have spat the word out. "I'd get rid of all Soulmarks."

Roman was about to ask further about it but he heard a loud clang behind him.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SLEPT WITH SISSI LETANTA?! YOU SHIT!! YOU KNOW THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER, YOU BASTARD!!!" The girl behind Roman was in an absolute rage. The boy she was talki- screaming at was pale and seemed like he'd wet set himself out of fear at any moment.

"Whoa…yo Virgil check this ou-" Roman had once again tried to communicate with the Emo boy, but turned to see him filming the whole thing. "What are you doing…?"

"Blackmail."

"What?!"

"You never know when it may come in handy."

"You're the creepiest emo kid I've ever met."

"And how many emos have you met exactly?"

"Three! There was this one girl in my middle school that-"

"Yeah okay you can shut up now."

"Well thanks."

The fight had only been broken up by the bell ringing. And Virgil left without saying a word to Roman.

What a weird, creepy, cute kid… Roman thought. I think I wanna be his friend.

Again, I’m sorry this is later than I wanted it to be, and It’s not as good as I’d like it to be, but I promise I have things planned for this! Big things! Angsty things! Fluff!! I swear it’s going to be better than it is right now, I’m just a little caught up in life at the moment. Hope you liked it! And do feel free to leave a comment if you want me to tag you!! Sweet dreams!!

Taglist

@anxietea-and-insanitea

@ghostboi-bambi

@scrunchiescrunchie

#ts sides #logicality #prinxiety #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #ts Patton #ts virgil #ts logan #ts roman #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #ts sides fic #soulmate au #highschool au #thomas sanders #Soulbound Au

198 notes · View notes

maskydoo-old · 5 years ago

Text

Gas Gas Gas

Way back when I was a wee little private in basic training, I had a few gripes. Ok. A lot of gripes.

Griping is just what soldiers do – it’s our favorite pastime. What else are we going to do, actually read the Army manuals? What for?

To learn the words the Army Song? Pssh! Like I’ll ever need to know that!

Training is hard. It’s supposed to be. So embrace the suck. If it was easy, everyone could do it.

It wasn’t all bad. I genuinely had a lot of good times in the army, even in basic training. Sometimes the training was fun, and found things I was surprisingly good at.

I knew it would be hard, but I was young and invincible and I could do anything.

So I was ready for the shouting, the challenges, the pushups – all that. Bring it on.

But the gas. The gas.

The recruiters never said anything about tear gas.

Just forgot to mention that one, did you SSG Nett. Left that one out of the recruitment brochure. Join the Army, set your lungs on fire.

The gas was the absolute worst experience, in basic, in the Army, and probably in my entire life.

Not so tough anymore when the gas hits.

I don’t care what a big, strong, stoic soldier you are. Doesn’t matter. You’re gunna cry, GI Joe.

Zero out of ten. Would not breathe CS gas again.

CS gas, that’s … this.

(text: orto-chlorobenzylidene-malononitrile / 2-chlorobenzalmalononitrile )

The drill sergeants never called it by these names. They always just called it CS. Probably they assumed we wouldn’t be able to pronounce these words. Well HA! Jokes on them. I’ve been practicing, and-

They’re right.

CS gas is a riot control agent. A tear gas. And, according to the internet, it’s really an aerosolized powder.

The more you know.

Imma keep calling gas anyway.

If you’ve never been exposed to tear gas, maybe you think all it does is irritate people’s eyes a bit and make them cry, like someone managed to weaponize the feeling of chopping onions.

I mean yeah, the gas will do that, but it’s so, so much worse.

Day whatever of basic,

I don’t know, it all blurs together,

Aint like I kept a diary like some kind of pioneer on the Oregon trail, days away from dying of dysentery.

The drill sergeants issued us all these enormous green pouches. Inside, some ancient gas masks that look like they’re in even worse shape than my rifle, which by the way was held together with wire where a takedown pin should have been.

The upper and lower receivers were not on speaking terms. Rattled like a… well, a rattle.

And like my rifle, we were taught to take masks apart and put them back together. Some are missing pieces.

Like my rifle.

Drill Sergeant: “GAS! GAS! GAS!”

This is the command to put you mask on.

Drill Sergeant: “Gas! Gas! Gas!”

Pretty straight forward as far as commands go. Nothing left to interpretation there.

Also, there’s gesture signal. Shoulder touching. Like this. Looks goofy.

We drilled putting on those masks quick, because when their air is poison, you’d better be fast or you’re going to have a bad time.

Speaking of bad times, next we ran laps. You do a lot of running in basic, and it’s death. I hate running even on a good day. I can do pushups all day long, but cardio can pound sand. Running laps with a facehugger doesn’t improve the experience.

The purpose of this is to prove that yes, you can in fact breathe in these things, so just quit whinging and do it, Drill Sergeants have no time for your claustrophobia nonsense.

That wasn’t a problem for me. The heat was. Running laps in Missouri, in the summer heat, with my face covered material designed specifically NOT to let air flow.

Well the good news is you don’t have worry about breathing poison if you can drown yourself in your own sweat first.

All of this was in preparation for the gas chamber.

The gas chamber was a tiny one-room building full of that nasty CS gas that we would all have to spend some time in, as a required part of training in the US military. Why?

To instill confidence in your equipment to protect you, we’re told.

Yeah… about that…

(gas mask falls apart)

We get marched into the woods, to this run down looking shack, where we would get locked in.

This sounds like a setup for a horror movie.

The room is already filled with gas. They make sure it’s nice and thick before they send us in. When we were lined up outside, masks on, I could already smell pepper. Trying to clear my mask was not working.

Not feeling super confident in my equipment right now.

So we file in, and to prove to us that our masks can protect us from the gas, what do they do?

They have us take our masks off. Immediately.

What?! How are our masks supposed to protect us if we just take them off as soon as we’re inside? I don’t know. Training people to remove their masks and just stand around when exposed to gas doesn’t seem like a great idea…

You can’t hold it forever, eventually, you have to breathe. And holy heck that is some SPICY air!

I’ve been told that CS gas works by reacting to your mucous membranes, which I basically just took this to mean anything moist will burn.

This is when I became literally painfully aware of what it means to be a lifeform made mostly of water. I regretted every drop.

Just a scratching in your throat at first, makes you cough. Then it burns. Your throat. Your nostrils. Your eyes.

Now you’re crying. Not so tough now, are ya? The tears fall and the trail burns down your face.

All your exposed skin burns more as you sweat – and if you weren’t sweating before, you are now.

Your mouth burns. Down your lungs. It even reaches your stomach. You realize a lot more of your body was exposed to the outside environment than you’re comfortable thinking of that way. And it’s all on fire.

You hack, you cough, you gasp, you cry, you snot, you drool, you puke. You’re not pretty.

Did you know CS gas use in war is prohibited by the Chemical Weapons Convention? We literally wouldn’t use this stuff on our enemies.

The trick to making the gas chamber not so bad is to remain calm, but that’s difficult to do when you feel like you’re actually melting.

Your bodys like WTF?! Alert! Alert!

Your sympathetic nervous system kicks in – you freak out. Your heart races, your breathing quickens – or tries to, and you sweat more, all of it makes the reaction so much worse.

30 seconds in, I thought I was gunna die. A minute in, I wished I would.

I think we were there for at least five. It could have been ten. Felt like an eternity. Like a preview of hell.

We weren’t allowed to leave or put our masks back on. So there we are, just choking and coughing for as long as it amused the drill sergeant.

And he was in no hurry. He was in full MOP gear, and presumably his mask was one that actually worked.

The Drill Sergeant is completely indifferent to everyone’s suffering. He walked up and down the line holding a plate to shove at everyone, like a pusher church user with a collection plate. But you couldn’t pay this guy not to waft some fresh-ly made, concentrated CS directly at your face.

But we’re not left to our misery, no. The Drill Sergeant has tasks for us.

He was doing everything he could to make the reaction as bad as possible. He wanted us breathing hard, getting our heart rates up, and sweating. And Drill Sergeants know just how to do that.

Pushups, cardio, shouting. All things the Army loves. All things that require breathing.

But the worst was yet to come.

Y’all, I made a huge mistake not reading the entire Army manual. The task we had to complete, without making a mistake, in order to escape this horrible room was to scream-sing the Army Song.

I didn’t know the words. No one knew the full song. At most, a few of us knew some parts of it – but no one bothered to memorize the whole thing. And the Drill Sergenat was not about to help us at all.

It took us all soooo many agonizing tries to get it right. But enough of us knew enough bits and pieces to eventually piece it all together, after many, many tries.

All: “First to fight for the right… (trails off)

One Private: “And to build the nation’s might!”

Drill Sergeant: “Start again!”

All (wheeze) “March along sing our song *cough cough*

Drill Sergeant: “Louder! Start over!”

All: (Anguished wail)

This singing portion went on for a long time, and not because it was music to anyone’s ears. The patriotic tune as covered by the wails of the damned wasn’t going to make top 40, but there’s no accounting for schadenfreude for the drill sergeant. He seemed entertained.

And… as much as I hated his guts in that moment…. I get it. I totally get it.

If there was a version of American Idol, like, insane edition, where contestants had to sing their hearts out while Simon Cowell pepper sprayed them in the face…

I’d watch that.

I did not know the Army Song going in, but I sure as heck knew it by heart by the time we left.

It turns out you can learn pretty fast when it feels like your life depends on it. Still, doubt, gas chambers will catch on as a study aid.

Teacher: “What’s the quadratic equation?”

Students: “

Side note: The Army Song doesn’t hold a candle to the Marine Corps Song. Yeah, I’m a traitor and I don’t care. Don’t at me.

So remind me again, what was supposed to be the purpose this training? Between all this singing, exercising, and not mask wearing, I forgot.

“To instill confidence in our equipment.” You know, the equipment we were not using in the one exact situation it was designed for. What does screaming the Army Song and working out in a gas chamber, puking my lungs out, demonstrate about a mask that we are not even wearing?

----

(Cut to an airplane)

Skydiving instructor: “Alright everyone, I want you all to feel confident in your equipment to protect you. So today you’re all jumping… without your parachutes.”

Jumper: Uh… it’s Ok, I trust the parachute.

Skydiving instructor: (Tosses someone) “Out you go.”

I think the methodology of this experiment is flawed, the test doesn’t do anything to support your conclusion.

I think the real reason they didn’t let us wear the masks at all was just keep us from realizing these old things have been used for every basic training company to come through probably since Nam and really don’t work.

I’m sure the newer ones fielded to the real army work just fine, but no one is shelling out that kind of dough for a bunch of newbie kids in basic. We just get the hand-me-downs..

We take them off so we don’t get the change to lose confidence in our gear.

That, or it’s just plain hazing.

Probably both.

Finally it was time to leave. We were half blind but could see daylight enough to rush for it. And if we’re not careful, rush right into a drill sergeant waiting in ambush, just standing there evidently in hopes of a collision as an excuse to shout at us some more.

In other places, I’m told this drill sergeant is a replaced by a sturdy pole, there for no other reason than to be in the way.

By the time we finally leave, we’re a mess. We’re crying, we’ve got drool and snot hanging down our faces all the way to the ground, which we’re not allowed to wipe away. We have to keep our heads down while flapping our arms to air out our uniforms, while hacking and coughing and puking all the way out.

We looked like ostriches with a plague.

And you’ll get to have that look remembered forever. There was a sneaky photographer dude I’d sometimes see following the company around, taking shots for the class yearbook and… I guess Army publicity.

He won’t get that sweet action shot of you scaling a wall, or crawling under some razor wire on the night assault course, or when you stab a dummy right in the chest with your bayonette, looking like a total bad one.

But he’ll totally make sure to capture your ugly-crying gross booger face for your siblings to laugh at when your family buy your class yearbook on graduation you’re your grandma will frame the photo and hang it on the wall, telling proudly telling everyone in her book club “that’s my granddaughter.”

And your teachers will use it to threaten their students with “This is the face of someone who didn’t complete their homework on time. This could be you if you don’t get your grades up. Get a scholarship or you’re joining the military.”

Ah yes, this is the face I want to show the world. That dangling snot rope really brings out the agony in my eyes. Gunna put that right on my Tinder profile. Yep.

(If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.)

Wikipedia suggests several methods for treating victims of CS gas exposure. Our post exposure treatment was - nothing.

Yeah. We got nothing. Just sat around in a field and waited for the effects to wear off and for life to suck slightly less.

And that’s the funny thing about it. Just a short while before, I was having probably the worst 5 minutes of my life up that point, but as soon as it was done, it was done. I felt fine.

Actually, I felt a little better than I did that morning, and not just out of a new appreciation for fresh air.

Stick 60 people from all over the country in one sleeping bay, in an environment where no matter how hard you try hygiene is never great, and then there’s that donkeyface who stands behind me in formation coughing directly at the back of my head, and sicknesses tend to get around.

Me: “Cough in my hair one more time, and I will jam this patrol cap right down your throat to feed back you your own germs.“

I don’t think many people make it through the first weeks of basic without catching some kind of bug.

One lady in our platoon even managed to catch a staph infection, like, the first week. I dunno how. Eventually, she got sent home, and I got to take her rifle, which wasn’t much better than my original one, but at least was not held together by a bit of bent wire.

Anyway, if there’s anything good that can be said for CS, it really works wonders to clear the sinuses. I was breathing better after the gas chamber than before I went in. Everything that was stuffing me up was gone.

Gotta find that silver lining somewhere.

And in this case it’s a snot lining, and you’ll find it coating the gas chamber floor.

Me: (reading my own script.) “Ew.”

-Infomercial-

Sinus congestion got you feeling down? Don’t have time to wait around for normal medicine to kick in?

Not to worry, the US Military has the solution for you! Formally declare war on enemy boogies with CS gas! 9 out of 10 riot control teams agree, CS is the number 1 choice to make all your troubles panic and scatter in terror. Just pop one CS gas capsule and it works instantly, scientifically proven to make the sniffles the least of your problems.

Mission accomplished!”

Side-effects include:

Burning sensation in eyes, skin, mouth, and internal organs, coughing, wheezing, watery eyes, difficulty breathing, difficulty speaking, sweating, thoughts of revenge against your recruiter, elevated heartrate, snot rockets, drooling absolutely everywhere, vomiting, making this face, secondary gassing of yourself and others later when puff of CS come off your clothing, pain – like - lots of it, and regret.

Harness the power of chemical weapons today! Ask your doctor is CS gas is right for you and your entire neighborhood!

Not approved by the Geneva conventions.

#maskydoo #storytime #script #feedback welcome #army

8 notes · View notes

ain-t-bovvered · 6 years ago

Text

14x16 Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)

* MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary *

14x16 : Don’t go into the Woods

Giulia: Them gay vibs

Nat: Sam

Giulia: And poor baby sam

Zee: No not Sam like that again

Nat: I like that it's focused on Sam

J: I’m me again

Giulia: I like Jack with powers!

* turns snake to ash *

Giulia: Not like that!

Zee: Holy shit

Nat: I feel different now

Zee: Stronger

Nat: Ew

[Melodic Whistling ]

Giulia: Benny is that u babeh ?

Zee: Yeah. They ded

Kat: Of course they are

Guy: It was nothing. Just the wind.

Giulia: JUSt tHe wInD. OOOH THAT IS CREEPY

Girl : Okay, that -- that wasn't the wind.

-she smart

Nat: Notice that in every movie the guy says that it's nothing?

- That tells a lot about men’s priorities. Creepy whistling in a desert park at night? that pussy tho.

Guy: Dad?

-YIKES

Barbara: Hi, sheriff

-Y I K E S

Giulia: But also….Come on let them have some back seat bingo

Zee: Guys are dumb. Think with the downstairs head

Nat: Why are you going away girl?

Kat: Because she’s dumb

Zee: REALLY?? IN THERE??

Nat: Yeah. i would back out of that bathroom

Nat: i mean. Ew

Giulia: I would burn my hands in holy fire to sanitize them

Barbara: Oh, God.

Kat: Oh hell no

Zee: Every place is a bathroom IS SHE SITTING??

Nat: I would rather pee outside of the bathroom.

Kat: And she’s clearly sitting

Nat: she fucking is

Kat: Disgusting

Giulia: No woman would sit on that. THAT SO INACCURATE, who wrote that ep? *goes look at it* MEN, of course , a woman would never have wrote that girl sitting on that filth.

Giulia: Fuck that’s creepy

Giulia: Ba ba ba

Kat: So glad I stayed up to the middle of the night to watch this 🙄

Giulia: Ba barbara ann

Nat: stop giuls lol

Kat: Taaaake my hhhaaannnnndddd

Nat: So she ded

Nat: sweet hope you can sleep

Giulia: Aw look at that, the bunker looks so dark and empty. I hate it now.

D: Morning sunshine! What you looking at?

Zee: This man is huge

Nat: Porn? Nip slips?

-sex tapes??

S: The Internet is more than just naked people. You do know that, right?

Zee: Naked people

D: Not my internet

Giulia: Not OUR internet. ( oh shit let me censor the nip word before tumblr freaks out)

bla bla bla, girl, bla bla bite marks,animal attack. bla bla bla our kind of thing.

Kat: Mah boys

D: I know you wanted to take some time...

Giulia: ‘I’m gOoD’

S: Honestly, I-I'm good.

D: ( u full of crap) All right. Well, let's hit it.

S: You got it. I'll grab Cass.

D: Mm. He actually left. Early this morning.

Giulia: *barely keeping in a squeal* I’m not gonna go there

...I went there

D: I don't know. Something about being cooped up in the bunker for a few weeks. We all need to stretch our legs. I get it.

Zee: What’s wrong with Deans hair?

- WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN?

Nat: thank god i'm not the only one who notices. Thought it was just me

D: Uh...I don't want Jack on this.

D: His powers have gotten us in trouble in the past -- the security guard.

Dean is actually so right right now, but still....Jack alone?...mmm don’t like that

Kat: Look at the baby bean studying

J: Did you know Article 246 of the Haitian criminal code115 officially makes it against the law116 to turn a human into a zombie?

D: Good

Nat: Pre King hair

Kat: Too much gel?

Giulia: Lots of wax I think, gel would be too shiny

J: And...you don't want me to come?

SOBS

D: We don't want to leave the bunker empty. In case, uh, Mom or...some of the other Hunters call and need help, so... this place is long overdue for a restock. So, uh, your mission, should you choose to accept -- made you a list.

Look how uncomfortable Sam is.

No ones lies like a Winchester lies.

Nat: My mission is shopping

Zee: Beer again

S: Twice? D: Yeah.

Nat: Will he get beer tho?

Kat: Is it your list?

Nat: He's only 2 years old

Zee: He got my shopping list

Kat: True

Zee: Shut up

D: We’ll be in touch. ( let yeeeeet the fuck out )

Sheriff: I don’t see how this is FBI business

S, D: RUDE

Giulia: Sheriff’s right tho

Zee: That close up. Thank you

Nat processing Dean’s hair :

Nat: Not liking that hair

Kat: It’s weird

S: You know, do you mind if we take a look at the body?

Sheriff: Do I have a choice?

-that sheriff has 0 fucks

D: Not really.

Dean has 0---> ∞ fucks

Giulia: AHAHAH

Nat: Seriously?

S: How long you been doing this?

Zee: Cat like reflexes

Kat: Lolol he jumpy

Nat: yeah of course lol

Nat: He scares easy he's getting old

-Another still of Dean’s hair for Nat

Giulia: Jack so rigid tho

Kat: Hey it’s an improvement over season 4

Nat: groans

Zee: The kids again

Giulia: Ugh them again

Why in the fuck there the Ghostfacers tune . NO. Also weren’t they like...broken up or something

E: The ghostfacers are cool

- eeeh

Giulia: Bambi lol

Nat: Bambi

Zee: Bamby

Kat: Why they forcing these kids on us?

Stacy: Are you lost?

- Lol like a puppy, I can see that, oh wait ....

Giulia: OMG

Ghostfacers : Winchesters still suck ass, though

Nat: Ghostfacers

E: Are they (Sam and Dean) fighting ghosts?

J ( with the worst neutral tone ever) : What’s a ghost?

Giulia: I SHOULD GO

J: I don't like to lie.Like when you have to burp, but you can't burp.

Zee: It makes my stomach hurt

Nat: you can't burp

Kat: CAN’T BURP

Nat: Dean should teach him

Zee: That among other things

Stacy walks closer with a smirk

Giulia: NO BAD KIDS

Nat: What are these kids?

Kat: Apparently not

Giulia: STAY AWAY FROM MY INNOCENT SON

Stacy: Not anymore. [shows keys]

OH THANK GOD, I thought they wanted to break in or something. I don’t trust them.

I literally couldn’t care less about the sheriff and his son sorry, byee

Giulia: I’m sorry but am I ahead of yall ?

Kat: Idk are you?

Zee: Where are you ?

Nat: lol yeah, don't know?

Kat: I’m in the store

Nat: they're in the store

Zee: 12:13

Giulia: Yeah I’m a bit ahead

Nat: Zeta is ahead

Zee: I am?

Max: I mean, living with a bunch of dudes. Their whole place must smell like beer, Kleenex, and Old Spice.

Nat&Kat: Old spice 🤣

- I can live with that, I don’t give a shit.

Zee: Zombies are real?

J: Well, no. Not really. It's kind of disappointing. But there are other monsters.

Nat: Jack, don't tell them!!

J: Rugaru *chuckles* That’s a funny name. Yeah

Zee&Nat: Will you be my best friend ??

Giulia: NO WILL U BE MY BEST FRIEND

Nat: HOW ABOUT NO

Max: Do you ever, like, hang out?

J: Well, we have movie nights on Tuesdays Dean usually picks. I've seen "Lost Boys" like 36 times.

Nat: AWW...LOST BOYS

Max: I mean with kids your own age.

Nat: but 36 times?

- Eh it’s Dean what did you expect

Nat: oh god

Giulia: I’m two

Giulia: I don’t like him hang out with them

Nat: #leavejackalone2k19 #STAYAWAYFROMJACK2K19

Giulia: No but wait , maybe being with kids will help him, now that he doesn’t have a soul

Max: Well, we're going to the Stoke place tomorrow, if you wanna chill. It's this old farmhouse outside of town. No one goes there.

Nat: I'll rip your lungs out if you hurt him

J: I think I’d like that

Kat: NO

Zee: Remove your spine and hit you with it

S: Kohonta.

D: Gesundheit.

Nat: I can't get over the hair

Kat: sweet mortal flesh lol

D: You think this is our Hot Lips?

S: I mean, according to the lore, Kohonta get so starving, they spit up stomach acid.

Nat: THE HAIR

Kat: Stop staring at it

Nat: tHe HaiR

Zee: Focus Nat

Kat: Stop it

Nat: I FOCUS, ALRIGHT? on THE HAIR

Giulia: I can’t

Kat: So many dead people

Giulia: Everytime there is whistling I just want to see Benny

Kat: STOP IT

Nat: iT's JuSt ThE WiNd

Giulia: Well that’s fucked up

Nat: That's not creepy

Zee: Now you run

Kat: TOO DAMN LATE NOW

Giulia: Who the fuck fall and stay down?!

Nat: Well, yeah THAT is. Really? saliva?

Wow the weather was shit that day of shooting. Did they get sick ?

Giulia: I feel like the sheriff knows something

Kat: Kinda seems like it

Nat: He probably experienced it again

Zee: They always do

Nat: THE HAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRRR

Nat: Sam's hair is good wet though

Zee: Sam wet is good

Kat: Sam looks good wet

Giulia: He does

Sheriff: Look, I don't care if you guys are the FBI. Nobody goes in those woods without my say-so.

Giulia: Sheriff is getting on my nerves

Nat: I can't even focus, the damn hair

D: Well, we should probably do what he says.

S: Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Giulia: Awe they are cute

Nat: Third wheeling his way on the kitchen table

Zee: Is pussy block a thing? Like cock block?

E: If you two are going to kiss, can you go to the other room? I'm trying to work here.

Elliot is Sam

Nat: OH NO JACK NO

Giulia: NO

Giulia: THE FUCK. GOD DAMN IT

Kat: Oh Jack 🤦🏼‍♀

Nat: I TOLD YA HE SHOULDN'T GO

Nat: "Yeah, you invited me"

J: I like The Who.

Giulia & Kat: THE WHO

Giulia: Jack your Dean is showing

Stacy: Who?

-Oh shut up everybody knows who The Who are

Max: Oh, my aunt listens to them. They're...old.

J: Well, Dean says any music made after 1979 "sucks ass."

Nat&Zee: Sucks ass

Max: That's because Dean is also old.

Nat: HEY FUCK YOU, NO BODY IS ALLOWED TO CALL DEAN OLD . Except us

Kat: HE’S OUR OLD MAN

Giulia: ... [with Misha tone when is done with Jared in the bloopers] Max is cancelled.

J: unless they've possessed a human. Then, they can look like me or you...or anybody.

Zee: He’s creeping them out.

Giulia: He’s gonna freak them out

Kat: He’s gonna scare the shit outta these kids

Nat: NO JACK BABY STOP

E: And you've seen one before?

J: I’ve killed one

Kat: What if they are possessed

Giulia: If I so hear one of them saying “let’s call a demon” imma throw tables

Max: [Chuckles] Yeah? How?

Giulia: Listen MAX IS TROUBLE

Kat: They all are

Zee: Demon killing 101

Giulia: LOOK JACK IS COOLER THAN THAT

Nat: Baby Bean

Nat: I'm glad it's dark and I don't see them hair

Giulia: BUT THEY SHINE

Nat: oops, there they are

Zee: Sam squint

Kat: The damn sheriff

Nat: What is wrong with that sheriff

Giulia: ok but the sheriff sneaking to the Winchester tho.Like...badass

Nat: LiAR

Kat: Knew that was coming

Giulia: There we go

Always remember Jo and her shotgun tho

Kat: That’s my boy

Jack.....Babe....

Nat: Jack, baby, just go home, alright?

Zee: Jack baby. Stop doing that

Giulia: Don t fucking use the powers

Nat: NO

Kat: Oh shit he’s gonna use magic

Zee: No no

Nat: OH SHIT NO

Kat: JACK NO

Giulia: Mmm don t like that

Nat: JACK SERIOUSLY STAHP

Zee: Yeah. He’s fucking anakin

Giulia: Don t like that

Nat: Jack, if you don't listen to me I can not help you

Giulia: The brunette is the only smart one

Kat: He’s gonna lose control and stab someone

Nat: Yep

Giulia: “The brunette is the only smart one” I WAS WRONG

Kat: Oh shit

Zee: Crap

Kat: Knew that was coming

Giulia: ok but honestly she went right through it

Nat: Jack baby, why don't you listen?

Giulia: He right she moved

Zee: Can’t he fix her?

Nat: They calling 911

Nat: He can't…..Oh he can

Giulia: Ok but FUCK STACY. Bitch could have stayed put

Zee: Look at him.

Nat: But like, does he still have a soul at all

Giulia: Who fucking go running around when someone is making a blade floating

Kat: Jack shouldn’t have been using his powers

E: I don't know... what you are. But stay away.

Giulia: Oh my heart hurts

Nat: Yeah, like, didn't they teach the kids not to do that? right?

Zee: Common sense

Giulia: Ok but I mean...she could have turned around. She just went like ...to him

Kat: Yup he’s going dark side

Nat: She wanted to stop him

Giulia: Again...she run into the damn blade

Nat look at this!

Zee: The way Dean says “thing” is my new sexuality

Nat: Doomed to roam the woods and whistling pfffffff

Giulia: Keeps the folks away Yeah how that ever worked

D: Like I said, we hunt these things.

Sheriff : What do you mean?

S: Kohonta, werewolves, demons.

Sheriff: Those are real?

D: Oh, yeah. Yeah. And we kill 'em.

Nat: That smirk

Zee: The smirk. THE SMIRK

Nat: Almost make me forget the hair

Zee: What hair?

Sheriff: Just the two of you?

S: We know what we're doing.

Sheriff wants to tell people.

YOU SURE FAM?

Giulia: Put them on you tube.Yeah that sounds fun

S: It doesn't work like that. Even when they know how to fight,

Zee: People die People still die

Giulia: Like..kids in spn are dumb as dirt. See...?

Nat: Dumb kid 2.0

Giulia: Dumb as dirt

Zee: Silver blade through the heart.

Giulia: Always silver blade of course

Zee: That works for a lot of things

Giulia: That’s not the meat he’s looking for

Kat: He wants the other other white meat

Nat: Every time I hear the whistling I think that the Saviours are here but then I realize that it's not The Walking Dead

Giulia: Like yeeeeah where u at NEGAN BB

Nat: my body is ready

Giulia: Mine too

Zee: Don’t go there ffs

Giulia: I wanna go right there

Nat: Raining = Wet hair.Wet boys

Giulia: Wow fuck that thing

Nat: lol how Dean carried him out with his bowlegged squat

Giulia: Nat! People are dying!

Nat: Oh give me a break

Zee: I was just thinking of that

D: You don't like that, huh?

Giulia: COME ON

D: That was like full-on "Raiders."

Nat: Yeah like ew

Nat: What is this EP even

Zee: Green goo

Giulia: that’s me when I’ll meet Misha

Awe Sammy is worried about that dumb kid

Have some hair again Nat

Giulia: I don t trust that wound on him tho

Kat: Thinking the same thing

S: He's your son. He deserves the truth.

I DON’T LIKE THAT SENTENCE SAMUEL

Nat: Babies in Baby

D: Do what we always do.

Nat&Giulia: When in doubt...lie

Giulia: When in doubt bacon

Nat: when in doubt...eat

Zee: When in doubt , beer

Zee: Can I sit in the back seat ?

Giulia: Can I sit on him?

Zee: He wouldn’t be able to drive bitch

Giulia: He would don t worry

S: And do you think you really took care of it the right way?

D: Jack said he was fine.

Dean...he’s two

S: And when we were kids, how many times did we tell Dad that we were fine just to make him happy?

OUCH

Nat: So will they go all Dad on Jack?

Giulia: I fucking hope so

J: How was the Hunt?

D: Oh. Uh...disgusting.

J: I got the supplies. Except for the beer.

Dean like....THE FUCK BRO. you had one job.

J: I didn't have ID.

D: You have tons of IDs.

J: They're fake.

Dean’s like.... he’s your son.

S: Jack... listen bla bla bla bla bla bla

Meanwhile , Dean is having an existential crisis

Zee: Tons of ids

Nat: They're fake

Giulia: We want to talk to you about your powers. That looks like THAT TALK

Nat: Will he tell them?

Zee: One of them at least

Nat: #worried dads

D: we didn't want you coming along because we didn't want you using them.

S: Not yet. Not for now.

D: Before you go all X-Men. It was crappy of us not to tell you. You know, we were trying to be nice. 'Cause we care about you. But because we care about you, you deserve the truth.

Giulia: TELL THEEEEEEM

Nat: JACK

S: You understand that?

Zee: He didn’t say it

Kat: He’s not gonna

S: I mean, anything happen while we were gone?

Nat: YOU'RE LYING

Giulia: TEEEEELL THEM U DUMB BAMBI

Kat: Oh he’s so going darkside

Giulia: fuck it

Nat: learned it from the best

Giulia: He’s a Winchester

Zee: Fuck Shit

Kat: Dun dun dun

I’m with Dean on this... Imma get some beer.

[ post episode]

Giulia: PROMO

Giulia: OK I DON T LIKE THE PROMO. MMM MMM NOPE

Zee: Me neither

Kat: Ugh Nick and Anael? gagging noises

Zee: Well that left me a bittersweet taste in my mouth

Giulia: I like anael tho. She looks after herself, doing her thing, work it. yas gurl get it.

Giulia: NICK THO, NICK CAN GO FUCK OFF

Zee: Such a kind spirit

Giulia: Look that was probably him with Donny ok? And I like Donny

Kat: To me, she doesn’t add anything. I don’t hate on her, just don’t know why she has to be on the show 🤷🏼‍♀

Giulia: Well that’s why she isn’t in it that much

Nat: i will watch the promo later. but what anael?

Giulia: Cas told her he needs to talk to god

Nat: but like i don’t get it? who plays god now?

Kat: No one? We don’t see him

Giulia: Ok but ...angels guys! We need more angels that are not dicks

Zee:

Giulia: scoffs

Nat: and why should anael know since she left heaven. if anything naomi should know

Giulia: But would naomi say shit to castiel without something back? And honestly ....that bitch made swiss cheese of his brain, I doubt he want to spend time with her

Nat: anael sure doesn’t have a great rep in heaven either

Giulia: Neither does Cas

Nat: fuck I’m late

Kat: Go work.

Kat: Get that money

Zee: Bring home the bacon

Giulia: Kick ass

Zee: Take names

Zee: Well that was a pleasure ladies. As always.

Giulia: Yas. Gonna go for a run now

Kat: Burn my calories for me please

Zee: Go to sleep babe

Giulia: Also ...yay I won't spend a lot on the commentary 🙌🏻

Zee: whispers I’ll need a couple of gifs. For... science. Ya know

Kat: The smirk

Giulia: I’ll make so many Dean’s hair gif just for @Nat

Zee: That’s plain wrong

Kat: Good, she’ll love that

Giulia: chuckles right?

Zee: That hair was all kinds of wrong

Nat: NO

Giulia: Too late

And y’all? did you hate those hair as much as we did?

@wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm ��@closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20 @jacks-word-of-the-day @ravenhg @evvvissticante @legendary-destiel @dustythewind

#spn 14x16 #14x16 #14x16 commentary #don't go into the woods #14x16 don't go into the woods #Episode commentary #spn episode commentary #spn commentary

46 notes · View notes

wetookanoath · 7 years ago

Text

Reaction to the CU USC interview:

AH! I remember when they gave this interview! I posted the official pic here.

Let me drool all over myself and say that my men are looking fine in this video. I love Shane’s pants so much... and for those at the server, these are the pants I was talking about the other night. About. Measures. And stuff.

Shane only nodding to whatever Ryan says it’s such a mood. Also, every video producer at BuzzFeed does so damn much, it’s honestly awesome. I know we shit a lot on the company, but tons of their employees put their heart and souls in their work, and they are honestly amazing. Our boys for a start.

Ruining History is young and fresh, it’s in her infancy. And Shane refers to it as a she, he’s a proud dada.

Also, Ryan looking at Shane with massive heart eyes while they talk about Ruining History is what I’m here for. Love it when they appreciate the other’s work this much.

“ghost are fun, true crime is a little heavy” SHANE, I LOVE YOU AND I’M SO SORRY TC IS HEAVY FOR YOU MOST TIMES.

“YEAH...” Ryan talking about how he takes big dives into investigation for each ase, jfndsdifjrnfoinrfo. HONEY.

Ryan doing research and writing his scripts with creepy movie soundtraks is so fucking valid, like, same.

Also I love how Shane is like IT’S NOT JOKE, THIS MAN SERIOUSLY GETS LIKE THIS, I’M NOT WORRIED, NOPE, BUT HE DOES IT, and also he listens to this music, gotta get him something to eat.

Shane’s face when Ryan clarifies he was NOT obssessed with cold cases before Unsolved, and Ryan’s big smile while facing him, jfdnsufjensdufr. Love me some banter in this fucking hot tabasquenian night.

“It’s fine! Ryan’s normal!” S H A N E

“Wanna take that one, big guy” AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LISTEN, I LOVE HEARING ABOUT HOW THEY MET AND SO, THIS IS GOOD FOR MY MOOD TODAY, ALRIGHT

Also Ryan looking at Shane, damn. Mood.

Both losing focus on what the question was about because they’ve been talking about them as a Team more than about how they have gone from interms to video producers in BuzzFeed, I... I love them.

While Ryan is saying why he thinks the show is so popular, I love how he looks at Shane to see if he agrees in what he is saying, like awwwn.

SHANE ALL PROUD OF RYAN FOR MAKING THE SHOW SO GENUINE. RYAN’S BIG ASS SMILE AT SHANE PRAISING HIM. GUYS.

This is the interview of the HEART EYES MOTHERFUCKER, Shane being all eyes on Ryan while he talks about how genuine Unsolve is it’s like jfdninjdfsknvjdfknrefk destroy me

WHAT’S THAT NEWER PLACE, SHANE

“It’s so horrible and TOO EXTRA” RYAN YOUR INTERNET PERSONA IS SHOWING

The interviewer seriously not knowing what Silent Hills is made me feel older than I am. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK.

Ryan moves his hands so much. So here’s ya headcanon: little before they became an official item, Shane started taking his hand or playing with his fingers during this kind of stuff, just so Ryan would feel less nervous or look less stressed about talking in public or to some stranger.

I’m crying about these commericals, honestly. Aaaaand... Old as fuck trailer for True Crime. Jesus, lmao.

“The trailer makes it look cooler than the show actually is” RYAAAN, COME ON!” I love Shane. Also, Ry... no. Stop.

Here comes ya local kinky shit saying Dom Shane again. Ryan, no.

The host is so impressed with them, it’s actually kind of really cute.

Ryan’s smile every time Shane opens his mouth is killing me. What a big mood. Also, when Shane talks about RH, Ryan goes all :))!!!!!!! and same.

I feel blessed with the validation of Shane being tedious and perfectionist. I knew it. Also, Ryan-- stop teasing him.

THIS DUDE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT A CRYPTID IS, I’M CRYING.

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT BIGFOOT, LMAO

“You had this look in your eyes, it’s king of scary” OH, RYAN. OH, HONEY.

Shane’s cute faces while smelling what conspiracy theories are out there and which ones are made up by the host are my everything.

THEY WHERE MADE TO LISTEN TO LARRY THEORY ABOUT THE TOMLINSON BABY, OH MY GOD, THIS IS TERRIBLE. PLEASE DON’T, FUCK NO.

SHANE SHIPS LARRY. OH MY GOD.

Shane how dare you believe the Stevie Wonder theory? That’s the whitest shit you have ever said, oh my god, canceled.

Damn, Shane sounded kinda offended by Ryan’s comment about how his belief system doesn’t work. Wow. Imma scream Dom Shane at you guys again.

I love them, they are the highlight of my week every time.

#shyan #skeptic believer #your local nerd talking.txt #text #mine #bfu #uc usc interview #appearances #interview #both #otp: we took an oath

203 notes · View notes

one-deranged-son · 4 years ago

Text

End of The Fucking World

Trigger Warnings: Rape, Violence.

The Revelator sneaked his step to the upper floor; silent and still, a lithe movement like a black cat blending in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night, on its way into bringing its curse.

And the room was quiet, still. Darkness had fallen upon the land and covered the once lilac sky with its forlorn drapes; the lights are out, the internet is dead. If the end of the world could be summed up into a simple simulation, this is it.

This would be the end of their world.

And so he smirked, and his smile grew wider at the sight of his trembling target. Because that's what he wants to inflict. He wants the terrors to seep into their bones and make 'em afraid on every side; he wants the horrors to cover their ashen face and drive 'em into his feet.

'Cause this would be the end. This would be the end of their fucking world.

Pants and pants, gasps and gasps. Inaudible whispers of pleads and prayers hiding beneath the closet. If only it ain't so quiet, then maybe he wouldn't notice it. If only she ain't so loud, then maybe he would skip it.

"Oh, honey, ya don't need to hide from me, imma treat ya well. Better than anyone, better than how ya treat 'em," he whistled, and it was not like him, he does not taunt, the Revelator does not taunt—but he was enjoying this shit too much. Too much for his own good.

The strangled scream was soon muffled by a steady hand over her lips, and she tried to bite, she tried to run, frantically swinging and kicking his feet back and forth, but it was no use. She was pinned to the ground, immobilized—or frozen, perhaps.

"I'll treat ya well," he whispered, bending closer towards his target's ears.

In the twilight room, his fingers caressed her skin as if it was a fragile, porcelain doll. It starts with a soft yelp, but then the still air soon filled with loud grunts, breathy scream, and muffled moans. And everything went blurry for a second, but the rest of it was grotesque.

It was sick, it was horrible, it was disgusting. The notion of sin lingered in his mind as the Revelator continues to forcefully thrust himself into her, eliciting another inhuman growl and loud sobs from his target.

They became one, but nothing feels good about it. There's no love, there's no joy. And so he pulled out in one swift moment, but before she could register what's happening, he ran his nimble fingers across her throat and in a similar swift gesture, she was gone.

Red liquid runs from her neck like a waterfall, its substance seeping into the soft, fluffy rug beneath her. The Revelator fixed his pants and stared down at his job. He couldn't even get himself up, and there isn't a single drop of semen anywhere, but the swollen genital was enough to show what he did.

He did this, and he feels sick.

Fucking sick.

The Revelator shivered violently. Then he stumbled to the corner of the silent room, each of his steps made his stomach tighten. He keeps swallowing, clenching his throat in desperation and forces himself not to throw up, 'cause he can't leave any trace. He can't let himself get caught after what he had done.

He could taste it at the back of his throat, and he feels sick. Fucking sick.

The beast moved the lifeless body into the living room. It's blood trailing in the stairs, in the walls, in every place he dragged her into. In a moment she was lying on the ground, the blood had drained from her skin, and at the moment she was in the walls. Her body only covered in thin fabric as her blood oozes from the nails at her palm.

He had just crucified her.

Waves of heat coursed through his blood, a cold sweat glistened in his gaunt features. His eyes sunken and his skin sallow, everything ached, everything sagged.

"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort."

So he burns them all.

Explosion to explosion fueled the dull, black sky; the flame rolling outwards like the smoke of a mushroom cloud.

The building is crumbling, the target had been terminated.

Another night of being The Revelator was proven successful, again.

#deus det nobis suam pacem #3 #tw: murder #tw: rape #tw: what the fuck did I write back in 2019 I am scared of myself

0 notes

tsukkiyamaheadcanons · 8 years ago

Note

do any of y'all have any hogwarts au headcanons bc im a wizard hoe - potion seller

fucK YEA

IT’S ONLY FIRST YEAR FOR NOW DOWN THERE

I’LL DO SEPERATE POSTS FOR THE YEARS YA KNOW

I’M A HUGE HP NERD

tsukki is what i feel a mix of ravenclaw and slytherin ya know?

but he’s ravenclaw here idk

and yams is hufflepuff (maybe a bit of gryffindor??)

tsukki is pure blood n yama is a muggle born eheh

idk

it fits??? anyways

like tsukki is on the train to hogwarts as a first year so first time to hogwarts

he’s alone bc he’s a loser and he doesn’t like people

and yams is like hey anyone sitting here?

and tsukki glares like who tf is u

and yams is obvi startled so he goes away

but!! they take the boat and they’re together

awkward

but there’s other kids so it’s not as awkward

and they go and get sorted and b a m

they have some classes together but not all you know

potions, defense against the dark arts, transfiguration

all that good stuff

it’s like raven puff in this room

the d.a.d.a teach is sorta like “imma mix u up bc houses these days don’t get along with other houses and that’s partly why there’s so much rivalry smh”

and here i want harry to be the teach why is he an auror jk this is not acceptable

and yay! they sit next to each other

and tsukki doesn’t give a fuck tbh

he doesn’t like this class actually

but yama is chill bc he’s all nice and cool and isn’t annoying

and they’re both the slightly but not really underrated house??? everyone is so focused on gryffindor and slytherin smh

so they chill and talk and they both find out

they both really like each others’ presence!!

they both have a fair share of same house friends

but you can see more of tsukki hanging with yama

warms the heart of the d.a.d.a teach

first year is them getting the hang of it and yama telling tsukki the wonderful world of muggles

or no-maj

smh jk

tsukki is just. what the fuck

what do u mean there’s more than one sport

what do u mean internet

what do u mean memes and shrek

and once yamaguchi showed a picture of shrek and tsukki said “that’s not an ogre”

and they don’t really have plans for quidditch

instead yama introduces volleyball!

first tsukki is confused

then he likes it

and they play and add silly rules while also charming the ball

oh!! and their best subjects: i wanna say yama is charms but that’s tsukki

imagine it

he charms yama’s freckles to glow

yama is transfiguration

transfiguring random shit to be moons so he can make fun of tsukki

and so their first year ends

and tsukki’s like “so i’ll send u an owl”

and yama says “i don’t have an owl”

and again tsukki is confused

“the heck how do u not have an owl”

“muggles don’t use owls, tsukki”

but he does give his address for letters or whatever but tsukki says that’s useless owls are crazy they find everyone

and one day during the summer yama’s mother screams bc what the fuck why is there an owl

specifically a laughig owl

i’m not kidding this is an actual species

i wanted to find some white feathered owl but all there was is a snowy owl and nah

or a little owl

this is an actual species

it just idk the laughing and little owl had funny pictures that’s why i chose it

maybe a babof both species

anyways

and the letter says “this owl is for you, don’t worry about paying me back. it doesn’t matter”

yama names it m.m.

why you ask

stands for moon moon

idk tsukki reminds him of the moon

and the owl was doing some meme quality stuff and moon moon is a meme so

moon moon except yama is embarssed so m.m

they send letters

they also send memes

that’s the first year ok i want to go for all the years but that’s w ay too long

so um i shall do a post for each of the years but heres their first year

~mod ao

76 notes · View notes