#yEET I GUESS

[wonder-never-wander]

uh

[thoughts-of-a-heathen]

I'm sorry but I'm losing it over serpent-throwing wizard Oden.

[chronically-fangirls]

I'm frustrated as shit &idk why

[crustaceous-shudder]

Simply put, bigender Sollux good

[zdravstvuysclntse]

Heyy!

Hey y’all whgfg, whoaf, I.. Am hardly here anymore, and probably won’t be again for the foreseeable future, as sad as that is. I guess this is sort of a goodbye post? Kind of? Think of it as a way to get back into contact with me on some of my more active social media platforms should you ever want to!

Long story short; I actually went down memory lane a little bit tonight with some friends, waaay back to 2017 when making stupid ass decisions was apparently the norm for me! This isn’t me bringing up ancient drama or any of that nasty biz, I guess it’s just reflection? I’m nearly twenty four now and I hopefully have a much better overall outlook on life and on my little career here in the rp community than I did way back when. 

Plain and simple; I was incredibly, incredibly volatile and quick to try and victimise myself back then. If I’m totally and brutally honest, I still get the temptation to do that even nowadays - especially throughout the duration of this horrible pandemic and the various lockdowns the UK has gone through - and recognising that has actually been a pretty recent realisation, so it looks like the lockdowns did one good thing for me. Trying to throw myself a pity party is unfortunately a big knee jerk reaction for me, which isn’t healthy, but it isn’t too late to tackle that problem - admitting there’s a problem is the first step to improving it after all.

But, really what I find pretty surprising now that I’m looking back on everything, is that I actually value the memories of what happened in and around 2017. I lost friends and writing partners who I valued, strained friendships with those I didn’t lose and I made a complete and utter asshat of myself, but that has all lead to how I approach situations today. Half of the things that happened to me wouldn’t have happened had I quit trying to start fights and seeking out drama for the sake of drama. In reality it’s entirely my own dumbass fault that I never really got back into the swing of things after that year, the maaaagical concept of blocking and just moving the hell on to things I wanted to do didn’t actually set in with me until I was way on my way to twenty one or two. 

I honestly wish I could give you all a good reason as to why it took so long to finally register with me, but really there isn’t one, apart from the fact that there was a part of me that actually enjoyed getting into scraps and stirring the pot, until it came back to bite me in the ass. Nowadays though, I’ve seen and experienced first hand, what it’s like to curate your own online experience, to stay in your own lane, to mind your own damn business and just do what you want to do. It’s fucking Magical, my dudes, it feels a little strange to say now, but I haven’t felt this secure and this happy in a fandom in years, and I wish I’d just had the foresight to just get on with what I wanted to do. Drama would’ve happened, sure, but at the end of the day it’s all down to me if I choose to get involved or not, and unfortunately back in 2017 I chose to jump in, and ended up saying a fuckton of stupid shit as a result. Mostly out of upset, mostly out of a desire to be right all the time, mostly out of anger, which are three things I am - bit by bit - pushing out of my time online.

So; I’m sorry. I’m not who I was back then, and the people from here who I still chat to on occasion now can hopefully see that change in me. Growth is important and you can’t really grow without looking back and cringing a lot at the things you did and the shit you said - and believe me I’ve been doing a lot of that tonight.

Getting hung up on drama and whatnot just.. Isn’t worth it, I don’t know why I thought it ever was; especially since in the grand scheme of things I was way too old to be even thinking about stoking the fire beyond just, stating where I stood on some issues and leaving it at that, and admitting when I was wrong. People on every single God forsaken social media platform are going to get fucked off at things regardless of how well you word a ‘hot take’ or how well you research an opinion, and there’s nothing you or I can do to change that, besides just thinking about how best to handle a situation without causing them or yourself any upset. The internet is, wild like that.

If anyone from back in 2017 does stumble across this - unlikely but there’s always a chance - hey, hi, I’m still willing to stand by the fact that I disagreed with a lot of you, but I’m also willing to admit the fact that I was petty, immature, quick to victimise myself and ultimately behaved in a way that made the situation worse for myself while doing so. So, I’m sorry to you guys too. Roleplaying on this platform was easily some of the best and most creative years of my life, and at some point I was insanely glad to have met all of you, so that’s what I’m going to remember - not the fact that we disagreed and argued and ended our friendships on a bad note.

Ahhhgyiuh and if anybody on here does want to go ahead and contact me on some of my more active platforms: Twitter (sfw) Twitter (nsfw - 18+ only please y’all) Wordpress Other tumblr DM me for discord if anybody wants it.

I guess that’s?? It?? It feels good to reflect, this might not be the most well written and laid out post, but really I am just babbling, and it’s... 3am.

Thanks a lot, y’all. Get vaccinated if you can. Wear a mask. Wash ya hands. 

[eri-closed]

love that for them 🙂

[goatbi]

Doc really just said ‘fuck your secrecy.’ 

[gandalftheweeb]

there is a lot of discourse around "fujoshi" n "queer media" n i want to ask you a little question:do you think that cishet women can consume n create lgbt content if they are respectful of real life lgbt people,are lgbt allies n don't fetishise real life gay men?as someone who know the difference btwn fiction n reality i always thought there wasn't any problem with cishet people consume/create queer content if they respect rl people but this kind of discourse makes me unsure about my opinion...

i have extremely strong opinions about a lot in your ask, especially the term fujoshi (and its masculine counterpart “fudanshi”), as someone who is actually mlm (a man who likes men, not necessarily gay). and i’d like to rant at length and comprehensively about them, but frankly i just don’t have the energy due to how many layers there are to this now massive issue in fandom.

the short answer is: no, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with cishet women writing fetish-y gay content of mlm so long as they do not sexualize/fetishize actual mlm and lgbt+ people. it’s like you said, if you can tell the difference between fantasy and reality then you can go as buck wild as you want.

the long answer is:

the vast majority of this kind of content created by cishet women has nothing to do with mlm. it’s not made for us, and it’s not supposed to be enjoyed by us. which seems counterintuitive, and understandably so. i spent many of my earlier years in fandom taking the opposite stance to this, though admittedly because i was more concerned with what i was supposed to be saying/doing to be taken seriously as a mlm in fandom than actually believing it personally. but still, it is very jarring to be alienated from a genre of gay fiction considering i’m the initially obvious target for it as a pansexual (gay) man.

but this is where you have to do your research and get into the history of fandom and where kinky male slash fanfic came from. for the sake of brevity i won’t write a history lecture, but i recommend looking into it yourself because here’s what i figured out very quickly: this type of content (that is, fetish-y, kinky gay erotica written for women to get off to by women) picked up traction and became so popular because it escapes the male gaze that is thrust onto so much porn and media at large by not only eliminating straight men entirely from the equation (they wouldn’t even want to look at this content, since it lacks women) but it retroactively applies a female gaze to it as well. and that’s where i think the real appeal of this was to women back in like 2008, it’s the only place of sexual fantasy where they were in charge and had full autonomy to explore their sexuality without thinking about male eyes on them or what they create.

as a man, personally, i don’t feel comfortable depriving any woman of a sexual fantasy like this. that’s not my place, and i’ve seen a lot of mlm state similar sentiments. this kind of content is just so obviously not made for us, and it’d be nice to not be alienated from it, but we have no right to demand it and no one else certainly has any right to demand it on our behalf. these women don’t owe us their sexual fantasies or freedom, and so long as it doesn’t harm anyone in real life and i don’t have girls treating me like a living sex toy for them to fawn over, which hasn’t happened in like 7 years, there’s no issue. and that’s the thing, this hasn’t been a large-scale issue in fandom since like 2014. cishet girls treating real gay men like fetishes (within fandom and outside it) still happens, but we should be discussing these incidents like the niche within a niche subcultures they are, not this widespread pandemic in fandom that it just. patently isn’t anymore.

i’m also of the opinion, personally, that you should examine the content you’re turned off by for what it really is before you stick your nose up at it. fanfic porn used to be meh to me until i did this and now i’m having a Great Time (granted i’m also attracted to women and feminine things where a lot of mlm aren’t so).

there’s more to this issue, to be honest, but i’d say this point is the crux of my thinking on it and what it all really boils down to anyway. still, it’s worth noting that i have at least a 10k essay of thoughts on this subject so don’t take it as a representation of the full expanse of my case, i’ve spent way too much time thinking about it for that.

as for the term fujoshi, here’s a great thread for you to read through about it (that person’s blog is also a great resource for this discourse and i suggest reading through it as well). i don’t wanna get into it here since this got long despite my attempts to avoid that.

[askplayersonlineau]

Oh jeez I'm hyped!

(YYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH SO AM IIIIIIII)

[seerofmike]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Apex Legends (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Octane | Octavio Silva Characters: Octane | Octavio Silva, Crypto | Park Tae Joon, Mirage | Elliott Witt, Lifeline | Ajay Che Additional Tags: YouTube, Secret Relationship, Humor, Ensemble Cast, gamer boyfriends, this is dumb and soft sorry, i've committed the ultimate cardinal sin: mentioning buzzfeed, Interviews Summary:

"We haven't been obvious," Octavio said. "Have we?"

Taejoon shot him a look. "I haven't, but you definitely have."

"Hey!"

(Or, Taejoon and Octavio realize they've been way too obvious about their supposed-to-be-a-secret-relationship.)

[hellishfig]

i’m a simple woman. i see a clip of brokeback mountain that involves jack or ennis is any way, i cry

[the-impossible-bitch]

Light Nayeon Moodboard *:・ﾟ✧

[kumaneko-lxve]

heyyyy so i'm (trying) to write a novel series sorta thing and i had a side blog that i never used so i decided to make it the central hub for my stuff! if anyone wants to know the ins and outs of how the blog works, shoot me an ask or a dm!

[trappper-johnathan]

Bouta go live in a monestary and have the monks teach me self control cause I'm just about done with my mouth running away with my thoughts ;)

[doorstoplord]

a lil doodle

[coldairballoons]

Okay so

I drank a shit ton of coffee today and firstly I think I might be addicted to coffee secondly I’m super hyper but I feel a crash coming on so before I sleep

I have an idea for a short film but it focused mainly on music and visual storytelling rather than spoken words and if you guys would want me to write out an excerpt or storyboard something please reblog/comment so I can know

Also if I do end up doing this I will need help with writing, making music, choosing things, so if you want to help PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE message me

Okay I’m literally crashing and I’m... pretty sure my coffee had some alcohol in it because I used a glass with some ice cubes that might have been made of alcohol I don’t even know it tasted weird okay well if I’m a little bit drunk hey whatever right

Okay ignore that last segment

Thanks!

-Miles