#y'all this post has so much more life to it than i physically do rn

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

current state: desperately trying to pull myself together after pathetically bawling over my laptop frame BREAKING

[midnightwriter21]

aot hcs: them as boyfriends

characters: levi, eren, connie

warnings: i have the mouth of a sailor im srry

an: first aot fic lesss gooooooo!!! lmk if y’all want another part with diff characters!!

LEVI ACKERMAN

*sigh* he's so girlfriend

starting off strong...

this man is NAWT kissing you in public lololol

he's got a reputation to uphold

however!!

he will show pda in much smaller, more subtle ways

walking down the street, he's offering his arm for you to loop yours through

or guiding you with a hand on your lower back

if y'all are walking through a crowd he is CRUSHING your hand with his grip

he's not trying to hurt your hand haha

he's just strong, can't see over peoples heads, and doesn't wanna lose you in the sea of people

he'll keep that unbothered bored look on his face but just know that on the inside that this man is stressed lmfao

alsoooo

service bf to the maxxxxx

dude is not good with expressing his feelings

especially romantic ones lol

so he expresses his love by doing little tasks for you

oh you forgot to get food for your cat?

levi already has it

can't get that jar of pickles open?

he's snatching it out your hands and popping it open

and you already know your house is about to be the CLEANEST its ever been on god

next

i feel so bad

for the person to shit talk you in front of levi

on my mama let somebody say something slick lmfaooo

he is not gonna let it slide

forget getting physically violent

this mans mouth is absolutely DIABOLICAL

in more ways than one if ur picking up what im putting down

*ahem* will make said person cry with his words alone

period.

EREN YEAGER

meowwwwwwwww

bark bark bark

*insert other animal noise here*

huh? somebody say something?

no? okay

AHEM

this man right here? cocky asf

dude is fine

and knows it too

and he knows y’all make a FINEEEE ASS COUPLE

shows you and your relationship off all the time

not a day goes by where he’s not posting you on social media

and he coordinates yalls outfits too omg

he makes sure his clothes match yours

not exactly matching ofc but the colors

if ur wearing a red dress to an event

he’s wearing a red tie

it’s a casual day and you’re wearing a blue shirt or dress?

his shoes/accessories/etc. are gonna be the same color

it’s an aesthetic that he keeps up with. period.

also he CANNOT keep ur name out his mouth

brings you up in every conversation possible

“i think y/n mentioned wanting to go see that movie too. was it good?”

“nah sorry, my girl said she wants to have a date night soon so i’ll have to pass. we can make plans another day though.”

“i gotta go to the store when i leave here. i wanna get some stuff to surprise my girlfriend, y/n, when i get home.”

and he is handsy asf

bro is touching you at all times swear

it’s impossible to walk past this man without him latching onto you and lathering you in kisses and feeling you up

in public he’s gonna keep it respectful tho

unless he knows he won’t get caught lmfao

introduces you to mikasa and armin

wants all of the important people in his life to get along ofc

i love him sm

CONNIE SPRINGER

let’s get right into it shall we?

as soon as y’all make it official

i mean the MINUTE y’all are boyfriend girlfriend

he’s calling up all his friends to tell them the news

and then he’s making plans for them to meet up so he can introduce you

i feel like he takes you on a lot of fun dates

y’all don’t jus go get dinner and then go home

that’s too lame for connie

he’s taking you to laser tag, haunted houses, trampoline parks, etc.

and let me tell you this rn

come close

connie is NOT teaming up with you for laser tag

he’s making sure he’s on the opposite team so he can’t hunt you down over and over

will not take it easy on you idc

anyways… when y’all do go to dinner

7/10 times sasha is third wheeling yall

maybe jean too lol

idk i jus think that for connie it’s “the more the merrier”

especially since dinner isn’t something that’s gonna get his blood pumping yk?

but at least y’all can all get drunk and be funny together as a group right?

connie is so incredibly dedicated to being a dumbass around you

like as long as it makes you laugh, nothing is off limits

bro is constantly cracking jokes, telling embarrassing stories, doing stupid shit in public

he wants you happy. at. all. times.

this being said

if ur sad connie is doing anything and everything to cheer you up

i’m talking getting you ur fav snacks, renting that movie you always talk about, and pulling you close for a snuggle

yeah so i want to eat him basically

[eggsaladsandwhic]

Vash Headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

Follow my previous posts about the Poly Knives x OC x Vash CollegeAU fic I'm doing so here's some ideas I gotta dump.

SFW/General

Ecology Major vibes, is also getting an Ethics minor

Hates chemistry with a burning passion

Makes a lot of friends, but only hangs out with a few so he doesn't overwhelm himself

Nurodivergent Vash!

(He/They)! Or (They/them) either works

Doing a stem degree while having ADHD and anxiety sucks so much but Vash thrives in it somehow

College has really been flaring up his plant traits lately, has to call Rem or talk to Nai on the weekly for help (Though Nai just keeps telling him to stop repressing it)

Has to wear long sleeves or hoodie a lot to cover up the feathering leaves that pop out.

Vash doesn't realize it but it's anxiety that's causing it, but Nai started lending him some compression shirts and so it's gotten better

BUFF DADBOD VASH (this idea possess me)

He's gotten better with dealing with stress and no longer resorts to starving himself

GOES TO THERAPY(one of these twins gotta do it)

Between Nai's cooking, drinking on the weekends, and the amount of donuts this dude can eat he's living his best life

Works out when he gets the time and bowls competitively

Wants a significant other (Mates for life) but it's so hard, especially when starts thinking about the fact he's not human

Has a fear of having someone he really loves and then them finding out he's a plant and reacting negatively. Vash thinks Nai and him would likely have to move back to the facility with Rem. He doesn't want to uproot the lifestyle him and his brother have

Gets a little depressed about it, but is really good with having a support group on standby

Gets hit on at bars a lot but it always flys over his head or they're too pushy about it.

Wolfwood sets him up with dates once in a blue moon but it goes horrible or the girls just don't like him for more than his looks

Physical touch is this man's love language and he just wants someone he can lean on

Add someone who likes doing domestic activities?? Y'all are going to the courthouse next week

Wants to just curl up next to someone even platonically at this point

Has an agreement with Nai sometimes that they sleep in the same bed like when they were kids (Nai always grumbles about it but sleeps better that night anyway)

Nsfw Below 👇

OH SHIT OH FUCK

(NSFW)

So I did some research today and did y'all know that wild purple geraniums have a tendency to be Hermaphrodites

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Vash is a dual package (living the dream ong)

Plantussy and Plantdick combo meal

So I imagine that his dick would sit above his vulva and vagina? Testes would likely be internal (genuinely trying to form an anatomy basis I'm actually looking at a diagram rn)

As for his female organs I'd say he consented to a hysterectomy because it was causing growth issues (post op sucked but he figured it out)

Took testosterone for awhile until everything was functional

Became a lot more sexually comfortable with himself after this

6.5in prehensile tentacle dick, bumpy rounded ridges on the sides and little more on the girthy end

Has more of those downy soft petals that unfold during sex, and dick likely has a sheath because it's more fleshy (kinda like the inside of your mouth)

Hyperspremia and leaves a mess everytime he jerks off, squirts a lot too (probably got a dedicated bath towel at this point)

He has fucked himself with his own dick and usually prefers to

Owns quite a few sex toys and likes to experiment around a little bit

Goes from a Fleshlight, a regular dildo, has a couple fantasy ones, and anal and prostate toys

High sex drive, but can cum pretty quick (short recovery period, usually goes 3 rounds but can do more)

Rut is 10x worse too you'd be lucky to make it to the fridge

Makes sperm plugs during rut

SWITCH VASH(still a virgin though)

Desperate sex kinda guy, gets pussy drunk or cock dumb so easily, folds like a chair no matter what

Make him unfurl his wings out it means he trusts you so much

Please go down on him and absolutely devour him

Very sweet though and would definitely check in a lot (check in with him too it makes him feel fuzzy)

Has a sex awareness to not hurting you accidentally, during rut he's very nervous about it

Aftercare King (loves to shower or take a bath after)

More of a hickey giver than a biter

Usual kinks: Breeding, Pegging, Overstimulation, Cum play, cockwarming, Oral, Praise, Hair-pulling

Unusual: Blindfolding, Shibari(both ways around), Begging, wants to be degraded a little bit

Jesus my brain went wild there, I was doing research for some of this shit. Was supposed to be doing Geochemistry homework but this happened ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. Anyways gn y'all I got a 9am.

[stoopid-turtle]

BTS in Order Addendum 2

Second and final addendum for rn! This covers the translated bts clips for June that I found. Sadly, the playlist did not have July or Aug, so I can't go over those. If I ever do find July and Aug, I'll try to add it on.

As before, the timeline posts are already updated. I'm just highlighting some things here for those who don't want to hunt for the updates. Also, I tried to clean up some of the formatting but y'all, the formatting on Tumblr is just weird. I can't figure it out and I'm not gonna invest the time to do so, so I've done my best!

I can see where the WZC/GG pairing came from. GG and WZC seem quite close, often playful, and similarly physically affectionate to ggdd. Their dynamic is different, but I can def see how people could pull together a compilation of their bts clips for CPFs. (Not saying they were a real couple, like ggdd.)

Madam Jin did not seem to realize she was cast in a bl adaption.

There's much mentioned of dd's afterglow on 6.19 after the Dragon Boat Festival date, but I've never seen anyone mention that GG is also in a really great mood the next day. His first scene is in the forest with JC and JL, and he's all smiles and says, "I'm so happy this early morning. I really love my team."

JC says "Happy? What nonsense!" For some reason, this sets gg off on the giggles.

Needless to say, GG had his own afterglow.

Also on 6.19, there's this cute exchange between gg and the older lady producer (?), who is also from Chongqing:

Crewmember: So many beauties come from Chongqing. GG: I'm beautiful. Producer lady: More beautiful than me? GG: How can that be? Can't compare!

And then, a couple days later on 6.23, when dd is still gone, gg is in a hellishly rotten mood. He's visibly moody and unresponsive to xl and JC, both of whom try to cheer him up. At one point, he asks someone (his assistant?) if he has any crying scenes that day. And later he says, "Remember this feeling. After a month, when filming, definitely will..." I think he says something more to XL here, but I guess it was too quiet for the translator to hear. The implication to me is that he's gonna try to bring up the experience of his feelings in later scenes when WWX is having similar feelings.

Not everything with regards to the boys has to be about ggdd, so it's possible that gg's bad mood is bc of something else going on in his life. Family, friends, something with his company, politics, a stranger being a jerk, whatever. DD's one possibility among many. I did check out what dd was doing on 6.23 and 6.22, and he's on Produce 101, where he looks as DD (with a mullet) as ever. But there aren't any bts or unscripted clips of him where he might reveal a similar mood, so it's hard to say anything.

So basically, make of gg's bad mood what you will. It could be literally anything.

I need to talk about JC's fake butt

So the clip on 6.25, with JZX, Mianmian, dd, XL, and gg all chatting starts with them talking about JC wearing a "fake butt". I'm guessing butt padding? Some highlights:

DD is confused because he's "not even wearing jeans", to which gg asks if it makes sense to wear a fake butt in jeans.

The "reason" why JC wears this is apparently only known to XL and GG. XL refuses to explain.

GG says if she doesn't explain, dd will just walk up to JC and ask him, "JC, you wear a fake butt?"

Poor WZC did seem a bit put-upon on the set.

Also, unrelated, dd thinks sweat is sexy.

Also, the nasal spray that got passed around: looked sus, but not actually that sus. It's a Thai herbal nasal inhaler, which apparently looks a lot like people doing some uppers. (So much so that gg chastises the cameraman for filming it and XL turns her back to do it)

Also also, gg's rotten mood is gone. The clip on 6.23 of him being in a bad mood is only about 5 min long, and there's only a 45sec clip for 6.24. So basically, we have no idea what might have cheered him up and there are almost a full 2 days of stuff we know nothing about.

[cookinguptales]

Okay so. I am fed, I am watered, I went on a nice walk for my mental and physical health (/nandor) and I managed to find both decks!

Since I dug them both out, I'll give people the opportunity to choose between The Mushroom Hunter's Tarot and The Pulp Tarot tonight.

They're both lovely decks that I really enjoy, so this should be fun.

Anyway, this is how we do things here.

If you'd like a simple three-card reading, please send me an ask that I can answer publicly, ask for a reading, and specify which deck you'd like. If you'd like to be anonymous, that's fine. That said, if you are anonymous, maybe put some emojis or something in your ask so you can tell that it's yours. Then... just be patient. lmao

This used to be a small little fun thing where I'd get just like 4-5 requests, but these days I tend to get more like 20-30. That's fine and fun and I love you all, but that does mean I need to pace myself a bit more so I don't make myself sick. (Chronic illness living, y'all.)

So here are some answers to questions/concerns I've gotten the last few times:

You haven't gotten to me yet. :(

I will! I get a lot of requests these days and I do my best to get through them all. This time I will admit that I'm on more of a time crunch than usual; I will do my best to get through everyone who sends me a request, but if I can't get through them all before my little break ends tomorrow, then I'll do one again in September once I'm home in Philly. Either way, please be patient with me!

It's been a long time since you posted a reading. Are you done?

I'll be done sometime tomorrow, depending on when my parents get home. (I'm visiting California rn.) If there's a big gap between readings, it probably means that I took a break to eat dinner or watch youtube or play Stardew Valley or something. Or I just fell asleep. I have several chronic illnesses, so I need to be careful to pace myself.

Besides, I like to take my time with each reading, so it may take me 20-45 minutes to shuffle, draw, photograph, read, and type up a response anyway. Everyone gets attention tonight, lmao.

Do these cost anything?

No, I don't charge for tarot readings. This is all for fun. If you'd like to do something in return, maybe just pay it forward by doing something nice for someone in your life in the upcoming days. Just something small. If you'd really like to donate to the new tarot deck fund (lmao) I do have a ko-fi. That said, again, really do not feel obligated. I only have this here because people ask.

Are you psychic? Will this tell the future?

No, I'm not psychic. I'm an academic. We're just having fun here.

Can I ask a specific question?

Well, again. I am not psychic and cannot tell the future. If you ask me something like "what will happen if I [x]" or "what should I do with [y]" then I cannot help you. But if you want me to focus my reading on a particular topic or something, I can do my best.

What's the background?

Usually I just use pajamas or a cute skirt or something, whatever has a nice pattern. (Sorry to ruin the magic.) But this time it's a blanket my mother made. :)

I don't know much about tarot. Can you teach me?

I'm happy to answer specific questions, but fully teaching someone about tarot cards, their history, and how to use them would take a while. If there's a lot of desire, maybe I'll make a series of posts or something? But I don't really have time to go through it all tonight!

Can I choose one of your other decks?

Not this time. I'm on vacation, so I don't have that many with me.

"If you're not too busy..." "If you don't mind..." "If there aren't too many requests..." "If it's okay..."

Friends, I do this because I think it's fun. I enjoy doing it. Whoever is reading this right now, you are just as entitled to my time and effort as anyone else in my inbox. You are not taking up any time that I am not freely offering. Please don't put yourself down in your request or act like you're an imposition. I will do this as long as I am having fun, and when I am tired, I will stop. Don't be so down on yourself! We're all having fun here!

I'm not having fun. I don't like tarot/you're cluttering my dash/I don't like your readings/this is dumb.

Well, you're in luck! I'm always careful to tag these so you can block them if you so choose. Please just block "#tarot shenanigans" and have a nice weekend.

okay now you can send me requests

[alecscudder1987]

@ the good omens vs spn fandom war happening on my dash rn. pleaseeee all of you go touch grass. please go wallow in dirt and weeds and come back refreshed in a week, because the things i am reading with my own two eyes are Insane.

the disrespect you all are showing to ace/arospec people in these posts is absolutely astounding.

friendship and romance aren't cut and dry. they aren't opposites, nor are they exclusive. there are so many ways to have healthy romantic relationships-- not even to mention the myriad of queer-platonic combinations! just because *your* experience of romance (queer or otherwise) is centered around physicality doesn't mean it's like that for everyone else.

frankly, it's quite insulting to finally find an aro/ace safe space (like the good omens fandom has been for me and many others) and be bullied out because of... the author's tweets? a second season announcement?

a note for us hellers: we should know better by now than to expect perfection from authors. we shouldn't excuse homophobia, but... that's... not what's going on here.

good omens is a stunning tribute to the happy ending: love triumphs over evil, fate, capitalism, and a whole lot of really annoying paperwork.

art is for interpretation. that interpretation doesn't have to be queer.

the beauty of good omens is that it's a story for everyone. that's part of the reason the fandom's been active for over 30 years! it's an excellent queer allegory, for sure. but you're allowed to have other opinions. that's what fandoms are for.

i would argue that good omens is explicitly queer. i read crowley and aziraphale as queer-platonic life partners. and frankly, i find their relationship so much more fulfilling than many other canonically queer canons i've seen. they're treated with respect in canon. their love literally saves the world.

yeah, they don't kiss. but consider the large part of the lgbtqia community you're leaving out if you exclude arospec and acespec people from this discussion.

by saying good omens is a queerbait, you're saying aromantic and asexual people don't belong in the queer community.

idc how many times i have to say this, but good omens was and is not a queerbait. the future remains to be seen, of course, but i (personally) have faith in everyone involved and neil gaiman to do these characters and their world justice.

look to sherlock, merlin and supernatural if you want to watch queer-coded and canonically gay characters be exploited and killed for little more than a longing glance.

aromantic and asexual people have a hard enough time being embraced as it is. please think about the message you want to send before you post. thanks.

tl;dr y'all talk about wanting nuanced queer and arospec representation until you get it.

[idkwatosay22itsmyfirstime]

This is a post meant to help others. This is also my first post, so I'm still learning how things work here. If y'all have any tips, please do not hesitate to tell me, if you can. I appreciate it.

Ok, so as I mentioned this is a post to help others. I kinda felt the need to put this on text, it will probably be a long post, as I am not very good with words. It is about a mix of different health related topics. Primarily focused on how the body can affect the mind and emotions.

When I was around 13, I was climbing a tree, a branch broke underfoot. I fell from 8+ fee(roughly 2.5m) and as I fell, I kicked off the tree to avoid impaling myself on the broken branch. I scratched my belly slightly and fell onto my tailbone.

Since then, my health has changed in many ways. Physical first.

My digestion started getting worse and worse over time, I was always drained of energy, my sensitivity to light and sound increased, my right hip muscles began to tighten up. Oddly enough, my muscles began developing rather quickly when I began training(I started when I was around 15) because I developed muscular scoliosis. As much as muscles adapted to stimulus, I was never able to gain much muscle mass, although I had a really high strength to weight ratio. Idk, it was/is still weird.

My belly was always bloated(most of the things mentioned here didn't go away after seeing 7+ physicians/doctors, but more on that later). The glands that lubricate my eyes dried over, causing dry eye symptoms. I had arthitic symptoms in my wrists, elbows, knees, and ankles, also a very tight spine. I can't think of what else rn.

Mental now.

I had clouded thinking, it was difficult for me to focus on things in general, I was always sleepy, and on edge. I had much more sensitive peripheral vision than frontal vision. You could say that I was bug-eyed(in addition to my constant dry eyes). I also noticed myself tripping on words every now and then, or simply not being able to express myself properly. Like I was only half available most of the time. I was never diagnosed, but did lots of research on various things and I think I can safely say, that I had many symptoms of depression, maybe high functioning? I know there are many types of depression.

Emotional.

Well, I moved a lot during my life up until I turned 15 when we moved to Louisiana. So far, this is the longest I've lived within a 15 mile radius for more than 3 years. I lived in 3 other countries before that. Growing up, I found myself reconnecting to various people and then being torn away from them again, I moved around 12 times by the time I turned 15(some long term stays, others short).

Solution, or healing phase.

Ok, so I cannot think of much else than this. Anyway, last year I went to a PT and when I told him about my tailbone, he checked it out. Turns out, my tailbone was bent, twisted, and rotated. Well, since he initially worked on it, I can say that most of these symptoms have reduced by (arbitrary number) roughly 30%. I am still healing atm, so there may be other things, but I first noticed that I was able to sleep more deeply and get more rest. Instead of waking up 5 or 6 times a night, I woke up only 2, and, as of now, I am able to sleep through the whole night!

My digestion has improved, my eyes are more focused, and I feel more mentally and emotionally present! I feel like I can express myself better now. I feel like my emotions still need some time, because it is a little separate from my tailbone injury, but they are still connected.

Anyway, I need to go, but I thought I'd share this story and if anyone has questions I can maybe come back tomorrow. If anyone wants contacts for the various people that have helped me through the years, I can maybe get them to you.

I hope y'all rest well tonight, and have a good day!

[rurifangirl]

aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

[sotorubio]

i’m genuinely curious now though. i agree people are flimsy in judging good or bad rep but. considering the meaning for lgbt rep to exist is for people to see themselves and feel comforted that it’s okay to love who they love. what’s a show or film looks like to you devoid of a romantic storyline. i get a story about friends that are all lgbt interacting and living life and that’d be pretty interesting, but outside of this one option. do we get the token gay character that exists to fill up a quota in show full of straight people or what. how does that work

edit: i definitely answered this more passive aggressively than i intended msjfkdks apologies for that but the implication that fatou could be a token gay shocked me to my core ❤️ putting this edit as a heads up before the actual answer so y'all r prepared rip

i'm not sure if u r seriously calling fatou the token gay or? the token x character refers to usually side characters who r put in the show just to make the illusion of diversity while the show actually doesn't do anything abt their story. in fact many token gay characters r only represented when they r in a relationship bc the writers don't care abt writing lgbt individuals. so writing an entire season abt a lesbian who's plot consist of her living as an individual, as more than one half of a relationship, is the exact opposite of tokenism

if i'm understanding this correctly u seem to think lgbt rep boils down to romantic relationships n anything besides that is secondary? here's a post where i talked abt why this kind of perspective regarding lgbt ppl is flawed or u can read this post talking abt the topic as well. the feeling of comfort abt loving who u love is only one small facet of representation n as u said urself the meaning of rep is ppl seeing themselves in the characters. surprisingly lgbt ppl can see themselves in.. lgbt ppl. even if those ppl r single

if being lgbt is only meaningful & relatable to u when it's abt romantic love & relationships then that's okay but that's just how u personally see it. for example i myself am a student trying to graduate in the middle of a pandemic. i would rather die than make time for a girlfriend rn will u be taking my lgbt card away tomorrow?? do u believe single lgbt ppl don't exist or that they don't experience life through the perspective of being lgbt, just bc they don't have a partner?

the lgbt labels r identities. they exist independently whether ur in a relationship or not. fatou didn't become a lesbian when she kissed kieu my, she's a lesbian when she struggles at school, she's a lesbian when she fights w her friends, she's a lesbian when she takes a test to learn if she has a learning disability, she's a lesbian every single second she is shown on screen. what's so bad abt seeing snippets of a lesbian's regular life? u seem to think that the only difference between cishets & lgbt individuals is our relationships but that's not true in the slightest. i don't experience school or work or just life in general in any way similar to that of straight person just bc i want to be single?

fatou represents black lesbians, fatou represents lesbians w learning disabilities, she represents lesbians struggling w school, she represents insecure ppl, and yes she even represents lesbians in relationships w other women bc that's still been a huge part of the season. her identity just doesn't depend on whether she's kissing a girl 24/7

think mia's season. she was a bisexual character so her season was an lgbt season but it's not good rep bc her lable was clearly an after-thought. they didn't write bisexuality as her identity they just treated it as a lable they can slap on a character they originally wrote as straight n pretend u only identify w the lable when u enter a relationship. fatou however was very much written identity first - relationship second. when she's down she watches wlw proposals. who can relate? when she's on a dating app she gets unsolicited three some requests. who can relate?

how many of u were thrilled to see a lesbian showing physical affection toward her female friends & make smth romantic for them when a prevalent stereotype abt lgbt ppl is that they r predatory or gross for approaching straight ppl? who was happy to see that fatou has a bond & a deep friendship w the other black girl in her friend group "even tho" she's straight bc funny enough being gay isn't the only axis of oppression? who has been enjoying seeing fatou, a canon black lesbian, living her very multifaceted life w/o ever being reduced down to her romantic relationship?

[belabee]

A venty long ass post that y'all can ignore and that I'll probably delete later

Bleh I dunno where to talk about this so I'm just gonna make a long ass personal post that y'all can ignore if ya want. I mean I guess I could message my counsellor on BetterHelp but I dunno if there's anything she can say that will help me feel better on this particular matter (we're working on a separate matter rn)

So the whole being so open and accepting about my general queerness (see: being a polyam pan demi genderfluid poc) is a fairly new thing for me (especially the genderfluid thing).

I mean, I've never denied being polyam and pan - but I've also never been *proud* of it. Mostly cuz I grew up in a predominantly Christian community, and then after that, predominantly a straight white male community. So it's not like I had someone to talk about any of it with.

And now that I'm have more friends who are in the Pride community, I'm learning just how problematic most of my old thought processes are. Because queer topics were just never brought up in conversations when I was growing up, unless it was to gossip about someone in the community who was "*gasp* not straight" or "*scandalized whisper* she says she's a man now" and I now no longer feel comfortable or safe with my old friends who I've known since I was 9 years old who've been there for me when I was dealing with the abuse from my ex and other stupid shit that's gone down in my life so far.

Or with all but one of the datemates that I had from before I realized I was nonbinary (which was only a couple years ago). Only one of them has been actually cool about all this. The rest all just get uncomfortable talking about it and are trying the whole ignore-it-and-we-won't-have-to-deal-with-it method. Which is, needless to say not working, because lately I've found that I just don't feel comfortable being physically intimate (other than kissing and cuddles) with anyone - which makes the dynamics very weird now because pre-realization I was a very sexual and sensual person. And now I'm wondering how much of my relationship with these peeps was just sex and that makes me sad.

And I just feel so much lonelier than I did before, and I don't know how to go about trying to fix that because I'm so much older than the local groups that would fit my questioning and ignorant but wanting to learn state, and the groups that are around my age group are more focused on people who are more established and confident in their identity and I wouldn't want to derail that when I'm still figuring things out.

Honestly I feel a little better than I did when I was first realizing my nonbinary-ness, and I feel like I kind of have a better idea of where to look for information and I've been looking at the history of the Pride community and I'm hoping that that will help me.

Any who that was my venty vent rant thing about all this. Feel free to ignore. I just needed to get this off my chest and didn't know where to do it.

[whateverisbeautiful]

Reveling in Richonne

#96: The “Somebody Important to You” (7x16)

So in one half-season we saw both what Michonne would look like if she lost Rick and what Rick would look like if he lost Michonne. 😥

Now TWD, imma need this to be a sign that we are never going to have to actually see them lose each other and that's why we saw these reactions since we'll never have to see them again, okay? 😬 (Lol, a girl can dream.)

But for real this whole scene was gut wrenching. 

Negan has Carl kneeling and Jadis has brought Rick over to kneel right next to him. Here is our main character and his son surrounded by a psycho and his men, in the same physical position they were in at the start of the season. It's a horrible predicament to say the least.

It's interesting cuz, no joke, before I even knew about the deleted scene I was like dang I wish we could have seen Carl and Rick talk earlier in this episode just to see where they were at or what their thought process on all this had been before the fight broke loose.

Now knowing about the interaction in the deleted scene this moment becomes even more devastating. Cuz Carl was low key ready for this. 😭

And as Negan does his signature thing of speaking every thought that comes to his mind, Carl's savage side make him bold enough to tell Negan just how he feels. 

I for one was here for it cuz Carl is so through with Negan and I respect that even in this vulnerable position he's not afraid to let Negan know he doesn’t faze him. And I just appreciate that Carl’s not giving up all hope yet. 👏🏽 

(Side note: It’s cute the way Rick looks up at Negan and then at Carl like he’s taking in how his son is one fearless kid)

So Negan tells Carl it's over and to look out and see just how much they have lost this fight. And as Rick and Carl look around they see, in real time, them "lose" their invaluable family member as they believe they've just seen and heard Michonne fall from a balcony.

And y’all, this is how you know you're a good actor. When the whole audience can know for certain that the woman who fell was not Michonne and yet when we see your reaction we get emotional and allow ourselves to at least imagine that it could've been her just because of the expression on your face. The man is a revelation I tell you. 🙌🏾💯

Rick’s reaction was so heartbreaking to watch. The fact that Rick physically folds when he thinks he's just seen Michonne fall. 😥 It’s almost like he was falling with her.

Just the sincere pain in that look. Like in one fall he just lost his source of everything. Throughout these posts I've described Michonne as being Rick's source of strength, peace, stability, positivity, security, and sanity. And he just lost all of that. 😥

It’s also interesting how much this moment parallels the moment in “Say Yes”. Like both fell from a high up place and just like Michonne in 7x12, you see the fight briefly leave Rick’s body.

The fact that Rick’s reaction is so telling that even Negan could tell he just lost somebody really important to him. It’s too much. 😭

We all know how Rick looks at Michonne different than anyone else and so of course Negan could tell from Rick's look that whoever just fell is someone that Rick deeply cares about.

I feel like for Negan to notice and verbally address how Rick’s reaction was clearly in regards to someone special is such a confirmation that R&M’s love is extremely deep and visible, even to outsiders.

Again it makes me wonder how much Negan has put together about just the idea that Rick might have a significant other. Like by phrasing it that way did he think it was a woman Rick has a relationship with or just some important friend? Idk. All I know is Negan saying Rick just lost “somebody important to you” is an understatement lol.

Carl's reaction is sad too cuz he just doesn't want it to be real. Like as fearless as Carl is, you see him lose some of that fight too.

I think about how drawn to Michonne Carl was when he was young and how she really did become his closest friend and now he thinks he's lost the person who seemed to get him most of all.

I feel like to have this moment where Rick and Carl see her fall really cements how much she is their matriarch. Like it felt like they were watching an immediate family member fall. 

She was the one speaking life into them earlier that day and now they think they've seen her life be taken so it's like their hope has been taken as well.

And it's interesting that despite everything else going on, it's this moment of thinking they've lost her that seems to be when Rick and Carl both really feel dejected and it hits them just how bleak things might be. 

Rick and Carl have been through so much with Michonne right by their side and she's a huge reason why they're even alive. She's become such a central piece to their family and she also means so much to Rick and Carl individually, so you can visibly see how losing her has devastated them and made the situation that much more dire to them. 

It’s interesting cuz you can tell Negan is not Rick’s initial focus after the fall. 

Like Negan is all in his face, taunting him, and you can see that his words aren't even registering at first, as Rick is preoccupied with trying to even wrap his mind around the fact that his wife might have just been killed.

That’s how you know what R&M have is powerful stuff cuz even Negan being in his face isn’t enough to pull him out of this shaken state at first.

And then as Rick's forced to focus back on Negan you can see him also mustering the strength to be in that moment rather than freeze like he'd want to.

Like think about if Alexandria were to lose Rick, they would probably feel pretty disoriented and lost and hopeless cuz they lost their leader. Rick feels all of these things because he thinks he's just lost his own leader.

I think Rick's talk with Michonne in 7x12 really has a role in this moment. Cuz I think he absolutely felt the same light turn off for him as it did for her. Like you can see him briefly be just as dazed and lost as she was.

But because of their van talk he was reminded to put his words into action and try and make it “not about us anymore”.

You can just tell that this was not the route he imagined things going. Again, I really think when he told Michonne “I can lose you”, he meant it as in “We can both not make it or I could not make it.” But a scenario where she goes and he doesn't? He doesn’t look like he was ready for that.

And then the tear. 😥 I cannot with the tear, y'all. 

Like Rick thinks he's just lost the love of his life and now Negan is all blabbing in his face and you see those tears welling in his eye and then, as Negan says what he plans to do next, that single tear falls and I'm telling you I cannot. 😭😭 

This is really the face of a man who thinks he’s about to lose everything he holds dear and the two people who have the hugest parts of his heart (apart from Judith) in a matter of minutes.😥

So already looking like a shell of who he was, something triggers in him and he's able to tap into the emergency bank of strength he needs to let Negan know he's still got the wrong one. 👏🏽

Like you can visibly see the shift when Rick becomes hardened and it’s like you get a glimpse of the empty bloodthirsty person he’d become if he had lost Carl and Michonne in this moment.

It was interesting that Rick says, “You can do it right in front of me”, Which I assume meant kill Carl? And at first I was like...

But then I realized as far as Rick knows this is it. He literally can't do anything to stop Negan from taking Carl in this moment and so to him it’s inevitable that he's about to lose his son rn. And I think he says this line for two reasons. 

One; to not give Negan the satisfaction of begging cuz he knows how that goes from the last time Negan had him kneeling. If he begged and pleaded and wept it would all be in vain cuz nothing was going to change Negan’s mind. But there’s also another element to this that I thought about.

Two; If this is going to be that last thing Carl sees I think Rick knows Carl wouldn’t want his final moment to be watching his dad fall apart and beg and plead. 

Like Carl has always been this little G that sometimes wanted his dad to be more of a G like him. Even in this moment Carl is quite composed and I think he would prefer seeing his dad dishing out some signature OG Rick Grimes one last time than to see him just be broken down and begging to stop something he couldn’t stop.

And if Rick can't stop it from happening then he at least wants Negan to know that once he goes through with this, Negan's fate is even more sealed than before. Like it becomes signed, sealed and delivered that Rick will kill Negan cuz he has less to lose now. And Homeboy has a great track record of keeping his promises. 

Losing Michonne and Carl are what would kill Rick more so than actually literally killing him and so if Rick's a dead man walking he'll just commit his life to making sure Negan doesn't live another day.

I think once again that use of “can” made Rick’s line about Carl sound different than it’s intention. Cuz Rick is so obviosuly not saying “Go ahead. You can do it and I’ll be fine.” He’s just acknowledging that Negan is going to do this right in front of him. Like it’s going to happen. And because Negan literally can do it right in front of him since nothing is stopping him, Rick wants it to be clear, not that Negan has permission to do it, but that the minute he does it Rick will make personally sure he’s the one to cut Negan’s life short.

Rick's whole speech to Negan and telling him nothing is going to stop him cuz “You’re all already dead” was so perfectly delivered. 👏🏽 You just felt the intensity, seriousness, and certainty of his words.

It's literally painful as you see Carl try and stay strong as he just waits for the hit and seeing Rick brace for the fact that he's seconds away from losing his son, the one who has been driving him since day one. 

And then, just when all seems lost, you know how that common popular old saying goes; “Saved by the tiger.” Hallelu! 👏🏽😋

[annieoftheshitposts]

this post used to be a link to the old canons page but i’m turning it into a text dump of the revised one for people on mobile [or who have bad wifi/computers that the fancy schmancy script on the canons page wouldn’t play well with.] theres a lot sorry not sorry. here we go.

Canon Info

 Much more is said about Annie in external sources than the game itself, here's copypastes of all I know of and go by.

From the 3rd DLC Character Voting page:

As popular figures in nationwide folktales, a children’s television adaptation of Annie and Sagan’s adventures was inevitable. The show’s success lies in its pair of live action hosts, who are as convincing as their cartoon counterparts. Though what the public learns about the real Annie might surprise them. Annie is a seasoned fighter who has been around for a long time, acquiring many skills and powers along the way. Her sword is forged from a meteorite and can channel the power of the stars in its sweeping cleaves. Her right eye bonds her to her Remote Parasite and partner, Sagan, who grants her powers of a galactic motif. While some of her abilities carry more of a sparkly magical girl motif, Annie tries to execute them with the same sternness.

From "The canon info thread" on Skullheart Encore forums:

-Annie is several-century-old. Her immortality was gained when her parents wished on the Skull Heart so that Annie would never have to experience the hardship of adulthood, thereby making her forever a child. -She has had many different weapons and abilities throughout her life. - Sagan, her remote parasite. keeps her right eye in his mouth. - She’s physically not able to swear due to her condition - She is familiar with Double due to her experience fighting Skullgirls - Annie has encountered a lot of Skullgirls and has killed a lot, but not the same a lot. She’s seen the cycle multiple times and seen how they become stronger each time and is looking for the underlying source now. - The Annie of the Stars show is very similar to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show with live action segments with cartoons and PSAs and commercials in between. - Sagan can talk. Somehow. - Annie hides her immortality by getting a new hairstyle every few years. The show tells the audience that they have simply changed the actress. Eliza also pulls a similar trick

and finally some other misc. scraps that weren't covered above:

-annie has some kind of "super" or "powered up" form, in which she seems to fuse with sagan. it can be seen on her

move concept sheet, in the end of robo-fortune's story mode, and as a very tiny feature on one of robo-fortune's merch posters, but to my knowlege it's never really been talked about.

-she's been depicted with an "incognito outfit", presumably for going out in public and not being recognized by fans.

-sagan is named after renowned astrophysicist carl sagan. this isnt really relevant to anything but it's not on the wiki so i figured i'd share :b

-and this random pic of annie in the past with a different look, plus gun and minus eyepatch, apparently official art from the "digital art compendium". i haven't seen the source for this one myself though, and count this one more as speculative canon since that ingame image up there with her eye uncovered doesn't show a scar or any kind of damage from this.

-another canon fact about annie is she is strong and brave and i love her.

Headcanon (Annie)

this is pretty disorganized bc i come up with and revise random shit on a fairly regular basis, but the very least it should be all here and up-to-date. [though on this text post version i may forget to keep it updated oops.

she can still only normally see from the one eye in her head [and likewise probably has terrible depth perception lmao], but she can “project” her vision into the one sagan has if need be, during which time both he and her main eye are blind.

even though sagan’s vision is his own and she doesn’t actively “see” through that eye most of the time, the stuff he sees still becomes part of her memory and she can recall it if need be, though it’s far less tangible and kind of a surreal experience trying to do so.

the space where her other eye was is now just...space. like empty starry void stuff. yes, TECHNICALLY, you could put stuff in it but why would you. sagan can feel when something interacts with it and it’s really just weird and uncomfortable for both of them.as sagan is the source of their powers, the strength of her abilities is slightly dependent on her distance from him. something like long sustained flight is really only capable if they’re touching, but she still has ample firepower and ability to zip around for a pretty good range otherwise.

Not interested in anime

absolutely hates being called her full name; hasn't gone by anything other than "Annie" for longer than anyone that should be alive today should know.

part of her curse of eternal youth is remembering everything up until the point it kicked in and she stopped aging [i.e. when she was Actually a kid] exactly as well as if she hadn’t aged.

from that point however, a lot of it is hazy as shit aside from more recent times [as you’d expect from someone who’s been around hundreds of years]. this one's gonna be angsty as shit when i address it and you can thank @sandstriker for that. fucker.

also hates being restrained. by the concept sheet and beo's story, her fighting style is very kinetic and relies heavily on mobility; take that away and you get one very uncomfortable and very angry starchild. [this one's 'cause of y'all with the handcuffs asks. this is part of why she's so agitated rn.]

what's in the pouch? whatever is alternatively convenient. is it snacks? is it a quick incognito disguise? is it her whole entire sword? who knows. i think it might be infinite hammerspace in there.

i haven't put much though into this side of her story yet, but i've decided part of the mythos of the "annie of the stars" character as a figure of legend is that she literally lives, among the stars.

if there's enough folktales about her to base an entire show off of, i'm willing to bet she used to be less elusive when she was just about fighting skullgirls before dedicating herself to the whole "looking for the underlying source" thing.

Headcanon (Sagan)

tl;dr: as far as things go here, he's essentially a cat and/or younger sibling.

Sagan's canon information and characterization is basically nonexistant, so i got to do pretty much whatever i wanted with him lmao.

simply put, he's a little gremlin of a partner, but he is genuinely good-natured and a happy-go-luckly little dude. mischevious, loves to get up to Shenanigans, go off and hide/disappear to fuck knows where for several hours, climb and sit on tall things[or failing that, annie's head], etc. @sawkinator has described him, regrettably accurately, as "the Token Disney Animal Sidekick". he has a lot of mannerisms like an animal, but is still very much a being of at least average human intelligence. he's also surprisingly indestructible. far from invincible of course, but in canon he's been shown to be quite stretchy and...possibly have minor shapeshifting capabilities?? he's pretty much immune to being squashed and feels very little [if any] pain from most things. really, as far as i can tell he's pretty much a weird sentient plushie. like, if it's not going to damage a plushie, it's not going to hurt him; examples being: getting knocked back really hard or falling a long way? not a problem. fire? problem.

Sagan tends to be somewhat nonverbal and generally only uses a few words or short phrase at a time when he does speak, which sounds something like the voice clip below. that being how it is, he can be kind of inscrutable and more than a bit jarring to most people--though at this point annie's been with him more than long enough to be completely desensitized to it and doesnt quite get why anyone would be perturbed. fortunately, with that familiarity also comes understanding, and she can easily "translate" and articulate more from his expressions. this understanding is a two-way street, and on its other side is sagan's sensitivity to her moods. annie's not particularly...communicative of her emotions, but sagan can always tell when she's having an off day or something's bothering her, and is far better than anyone at helping her feel better. all things said and quirky antics aside, he and annie are exceptionally close and fiercely protective of eachother the moment it comes to it. they don't make a big deal of showing it outwardly, but they know they've always got eachother's backs.

he's taken quite a liking to beowulf as well, and beo defintiely shamelessly enables sagan's shenanigans.

as i see it, annie may be the passion and power of their operation, but sagan is the heart and soul. beowulf is like....comic releif and emotional support. not entirely necessary, but certainly welcomed to have around. yeah. listen im a big sap i just want them all to be good friends ok. i love them.

also sagan does like and watch a lot of anime.

Blog Canon

miscellaneous happenings that either have continued relevance/significance, or y'all just won't let die. there's not a overarching plot to this thing at all, but geez we’ve kinda gathered some history here huh?

taught sagan to say fuck [and other swears, in her stead]. he used to have to do it on command but he's gotten really good at filling in for her.has a

stoat fursona that beo helped her make. she thinks it's neat/cute but has no real attachment to it.

attempted to sue the crystal gems for ripping off her entire shtick [it didn't go well]

beowulf also taught her how to dab.

@sparkeletran is a nuisance and must be stopped

the 70$ pile of high school musical merch. sagan and beo both wear the t-shirts sometimes. she hates it. don't let her attitude fool you though this is actually the best and most important ongoing joke in this whole damn thing.

the first handcuffs stint. they’re gone now but they had a good ~30-post run, and she did take to learning lockpicking because of it.

this.

hey. guess fucking what lads. handcuffs ROUND TWO 'cause y'all just don't fuckin' quit. the first mini story arc sorta thing, in which she visits the cirque des cartes and has an aggravting encounter with taliesin. [currently ongoing][hopefully soon ending]

[[redacted for ""spoilers""]] due to said encounter with taliesin

sparkeletran is a nuisance,

"the official annie of the stars instagram is just cat memes but with sagan" it's canon but i haven't decided whether it's something she would have had already or a recent thing. [either way, hasn't been touched on yet due to the arc taking so long]

badart annie is sorta like her own thing at this point but nothing that happens with her is canon; she p much just shows up for exceptionally dumb posts. we did give her noclip though which is terrifying. on that note i may as well include the things that are Not canon but y'all won't let me forget

beo's animated belt thing. look. it doesnt talk.

spray-on boots.

the lawnmower weapon

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh homestuck

[moonlightchn]

𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖙 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖞

🐺 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘

pt.2

Hello this is (not) JYPE

Welcome to what my beibe delphine came up with as Moonlit Monday, otherwise known as admins abo tmi or "𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘, 𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘 and basic shit you should know before interacting I guess~"! Before we continue please like and subs- no before we continue I thought I would just mention you do not have to read if you don't want to lol these are mostly info for my rp's, these posta are not regular things but if you want to be tagged you can tell me and I'll make sure to @ u bc I'm lazy rn, remember these are long af considering I try to cover as many bases as I can, and also:

*Disclaimer: all the information this post contains will be based on things I’ve learned over the years and my personal modifications are NOT to be taken as the general rule. This is MY abo concept for this bot in particular. Yall are free to agree, disagree, take ideas, adapt to your own bot, etcetcetc. Bye.

In today's episode, I'll present y'all with some things you may not care about but I wanna go over with anyway because they seem to be compleeeetely ignored on my dm's and they're well IMPORTANT y'know as I run a WEREWOLF BOT ehem shall we begin

Werewolves abilities.

Packs and hierarchy.

🌙 𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘 𝕬𝖇𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖊𝖘...

To begin with, I'd like to go through some basics of wolves' abilities. As always, let's take a small trip back in time and remember what kind of characteristics and traits people believed were supposedly "common" on werewolves. It was said unibrows, excess body hair, and certain facial features were enough to identify a human who was a werewolf (let's also remember it was believed that most humans *didn't* know they were werewolves, as the "beast" only came out on full moons and it was it's own being within the person). It was also thought that the easiest way to identify which wolf was a werewolf was the abnormal size, the very human-like eyes they carried, and the absence of a tail (if you're familiar with witches you'll know this was common on witches who took on animal forms to hide from witch hunters. they lacked tails, just as believed in werewolves. this goes back to the connection with demonic magic and stuff for some reason. anywho most magical creatures associated with hell and demonic powers seem to share v v weird traits jsnwjwj).

Anyway, if so many of these traits seem to differ from culture to culture, something we can still see in most -and almost every magical creature- is the abilities they have. These usually are speed, strength, healing, and hearing.

Now, if you're kind enough to read over here, I'll proceed to elaborate on some of my wolves magical abilities

Sharpened senses: All the wolves, regardless of their position and hierarchy, have extremely sharpened senses. This means all, their sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch have developed over the centuries. Their sight is good enough to see with barely any light, very useful considering wolves used to live in the woods rather than the city. Their sense of smell allows them to sense preys miles away and everything in their surroundings. They can pick up changes in weather, in one's emotions, chemistry, and even pick up scent trails very easily if they know exactly what they're looking for. Alongside their hearing, these two traits make catching them off guard and surprising them really hard if they're in alert mode. Their hearing is fine enough to hear your heartbeat and recognize it easily, think about that. If so their taste and touch are also weirdly overdeveloped, the only real advantage is recognizing anything that might be poisonous for them and changes in temperatures. There are no other advantages known as of now.

Strength: like many other magical creatures, werewolves are known to be naturally stronger than your average human. Their strength may vary according to their physical condition, range (alpha, beta, omega), and the belonging to a pack or not. Alphas are naturally the strongest, their power being hardly matched during full and special moons if they happen to have packs. Betas and Omegas are hard to classify. Betas could be weak and Omegas can easily take on them 1:1. Betas are their strongest in groups.

Speed, agility, and stamina: not much to say, they just fast puppies, v smart and never get tired JSNSJSJS. Regardless they're just fast enough to hunt and escape. If you put a wolf next to a vampy they're DONE FOR. Wolves are naturally buff, their metabolism is fast and it's easy to gain muscle so their agility, even if better than the average human, isn't as good as other creatures.

Healing: Their healing is the most important of their abilities. Wolves have regenerative abilities that allow them to overcome any wound or sickness in days or even hours. It's very hard for a wolf to actually get sick unless they're around something that is naturally capable of weakening them. There are only some creatures with the ability to hurt them badly and potentially cause death if their wounds aren't treated. If their healing seems compromised in any way, other of their abilities will be affected too since the wolf will naturally give up power to that one action only. Healing is survival.

Power: Wolves, even if not capable of magic on their own, are still magical creatures. Their power may vary, alphas being capable of taking magic and giving more of their essence better than others. Wolf fur, blood, etc can be very useful for potions or ceremonies, spells, etc.

Bonds: bonds only happen when an alpha wolf claims someone as part of their pack. these bonds are useful to sense when someone is in danger, troubled, or even simply to locate them easily. bonds only happen after a special ceremony between both the alpha and the pack member and even though it could be done between a wolf and non wolf/humans, these are very dangerous and could be fatal.

Specific characteristics: these are some specific leans and modifications I've given my boys and packs when I plotted them. I never really got to elaborate on them because I don't have many fantastic or magic scenarios, but I think it's important to point them out and they'll probably be elaborated on their stories someday.

The longer a pack has been around, the stronger and resistant the wolves coming from them are, evolution helping them survive better on new worlds.

Chris has a magic lean. His pack has been around for centuries, probably the first one to ever step foot on those woods-. It's weird to have a magic lean, wolves are taught to not interact with anything outside their nature, but it can happen. Chris is resistant to most kinds of magic. Spells have barely any effect on him. This is an evolutionary trait of him only.

Chan has nature/earth lean. It's very curious, considering he's in no way interested in such things, but one of Chan's specific traits is to connect with the earth. Almost on a nymph-like level. Chan is capable of not only growing very weird plants, such as medicinal ones, but he can also connect with the nature around him. It's hard to explain, but it's almost as if nature "spoke" to him, making it easier to locate things he might need and avoid getting lost.

Channie has a celestial lean. This does not mean he has a lean towards angels or heaven or anything alike but instead, is related with celestial bodies. The sky, sun, moon, stars, planets. This might be the reason why he tends to sleep much during the day and be up at night, naturally being driven to connect with the night sky above. If so Channie's abilities related to this aren't very clear, it's easy to notice his mood swings and abilities affinity vary depending on the time of the month, the lunar cycle, and planets alignments. He's the most sensitive, which's believed to be related to this lean too. He hasn't explored it much, but he's noticed the stars always seem to point him the right way.

Weaknesses (notice, these won't necessarily KILL them, but they can harm/be lethal/weaken them): silver (in any form), heaven/hell forged weapons, alpha wounds (for lower ranks), magic; plants such as wolfbane, mistletoe, anything grown in heaven/hell; mountain ash; lunar eclipses; fire.

🌙 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕳𝖎𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖍𝖞...

Some of you might or not know that in real life, a pack's alpha is chosen after all the males in said pack -or those who want to overthrow the current leader- fight each other and one comes out victorious. This is done to show their dominance and capability. You can see it in dog packs, wolves, lions, etc.

Generally, alphas will be of the biggest, strongest, and smartest wolves on the pack, the other members are classified as the betas, the followers, and any of them has the capability of being the new leader if they prove themselves to the pack. Omegas are a different story, they aren't really a classification on their own, scientifically speaking. The definition of omegas varies from those who are weak and could never be dominant, to those who are loners and don't fit or simply chose to be alone, to those who are caregivers, usually being females who take care of cubs.

It's common for omegas in ABO and omegaverse to be considered the smallest wolves, who can't fight, mate only with alphas, and are just your average stereotypical sub; and for alphas to be the biggest, sometimes eldest members, usually portrayed as big, buff, strong dudes.

On my concept, the first thing I need you to remember is that the wolves present at a certain age (14-16) according to how they've grown up, been raised, and what they're truly capable of. This is how the hierarchy works and it does NOT in ANY WAY connect to their sexual preferences. There's also no way to go higher than what you are. Once you present as something, you can only go down. A beta can never be an alpha, but an alpha can turn into an omega.

𝕬𝖑𝖕𝖍𝖆

Alphas are made to lead. Being alpha doesn't only mean being the head of a pack, but they're responsible for everything that goes down. An alpha's duty is to make sure their packs have a safe territory, make sure to keep good links with other packs and hunters in the area, make sure to educate the members on the history of the species, help out with ruts and heats, keep everyone safe, train new wolves, teach survival skills, self-control, they make themselves responsible for any trouble the pack may cause, they make hard calls, etc. Being alpha is way more than being big, buff, and scary. It's about being capable of running a small community in the best and most beneficial way for everyone.

Alphas are made to lead, shape, protect, and serve. This is why most packs, once someone presents as an alpha, take them away for "training".

You can be a born alpha or present like one unexpectedly. Born alphas tend to be natural leaders, always taking charge of situations, protecting others, putting more weight on their shoulders than anyone else.

Alphas: Chan and Channie

𝕭𝖊𝖙𝖆

Betas, as usual, are the ones with the average traits. They're members of packs, they can be on teaching duty, guard duty, caregiver duty. The importance of betas is bringing unity and strength. The more united a pack is, all betas and their leader, the stronger the wolves are.

𝕺𝖒𝖊𝖌𝖆

The omega concept on my bot is a mix of loner and caregiver concepts. This means an omega can be or is both, a wolf without a pack and also a wolf with a lean to look after others. This is pretty much logical if you look at the conditions in which a wolf ends up being an omega. Another characteristic is that my omegas aren't weak or small. They are more at risk? Of course. Are they easy prey for hunters? Definitely. But on a 1:1 fight, an omega like Chris could easily take on a beta, for example. Omegas are forced to be alone and survive on their own when naturally they should be supported by a pack, therefore omegas can not be weak, but instead develop strength and agility as survival mechanisms.

Presented omegas: A presented omega is someone who lost their pack before they got to present. Lost can mean the pack was killed off, the pack kicked the wolf out, or simply that the wolf didn't fit in the pack they were born, therefore always being an outcast. This kind of omegas present as such because they never had the preparation or education to be betas and function in a pack, as they're usually pushed aside or alone.

Forced omegas: Any transformed wolf, kicked out of pack wolf or wolf forced out of their position AFTER presenting ages can turn into an omega temporarily. An alpha forced to be an omega by being overthrown can still create a new pack and regain its status. Betas can also regain their status if they find a new pack to belong to.

Chris is a presented omega.

𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖘

The importance of packs is, as mentioned in the Betas section, to keep unity and make individual wolves stronger. But also, what are packs? A pack is a community and the center of a wolve's life. Packs are the groups of people wolves are surrounded by since birth, they're as united as a family and are essential for the correct development of a wolf. They're essential to learn shifting, control, abilities, to develop proper social skills, learn techniques to hold the inner wolf at bay. If you're familiar with basic psychology, you'll know how important direct family and the inner circle is for a person to grow up and be, you know, a functional member of society. Packs are this inner circle, all of them.

If you're not welcome by everyone, a crack happens. A crack in a pack is dangerous, this means unity, respect, and trust are being jeopardized and that will lead to weakness. It's very important that alphas understand this and always prioritize the pack; the wellbeing, and the safety of the community they have.

There are different kinds of packs. Some, like Chris's, are family packs in which each new alpha to present takes on the place of the current one, or is allowed to create a new, smaller circle within the pack. This makes for big packs, large communities that tend to live on their own, away from the cities. There's family packs with ramifications too, like Channie's, creating this way family trees. Each branch of the family is a pack on its own, but they all come back to the same origins. Both these packs go back generations, making them not only old but powerful and full of knowledge. Finally, we have packs of packs. This kind doesn't necessarily see itself connected to others by blood links, but by history. Packs or packs, like Chan's former and current pack, are originated by alphas who leave their former packs to create new ones. The main characteristic is that these packs create their own family, being composed by wolves coming from many different communities who don't necessarily have a prior connection.

OK I THINK ITS TIME TO CLOSE UP THIS SHIT

If you've made it this far... why T.T kljahsdkah mmmn i was supposed to post this last week but it got DELETED so I'm sorry if it now looks rushed or messy, I lost my train of thought a few times. anywho thankies for reading who knows maybe ill write another of these maybe I wont wow I'm tired of thinking ajsdhak bye

[garbageivereleasedintothevoid]

01-17-19

Idk if I can do this. I'm so panicky. I feel like just going and killing myself right this instant. I feel so much all at once. My mind is absolutely racing. I forgot how awful this shit felt. I fucking crave death right now and I wish that was a goddamn exaggeration but it never has been and this is hell. My stream of consciousness is going WAAAAYYY faster than my fingers can type. In the span of fifteen fucking seconds I imagined a scenario where I went to the ER for suicidal ideation and they tried to make me go to cross pointe and I bolted and escaped. Why? I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA AND I'M BREAKING

I feel like I'm a wind up toy that was wound up too tightly and just went for a while and then exploded. I just want to feel okay again. Fuck getting better. I just don't want this shit back.

Also Erin's mom is in the hospital and might have cancer because they found a tumor on her spine and she couldn't walk. SO THAT'S JUST FUCKING WONDERFUL. MY BEST FRIEND MIGHT LOSE THEIR FUCKING MOM WHILE I DRIVE OFF THE FUCKING DEEP END. HOW FUN! /S

Fr tho fuck this.

Don't think I told you this last time because I forgot but I had cut myself the night before our last appointment. I hate this. I fucking hate this so much. I just want to be normal or go away. I fucking hate myself so goddamn much. Why was I born a fuck up? Why am I such a drain on everyone? Why can't I just be like everyone else and not the freakish asshole piece of garbage that I am????

I never asked for any of this. I never asked to be born.

I hate myself. I hate me so much. Why can't I just be a normal person. Fuck everything.

I just called and cancelled that luzio appointment btw. I know I for sure won't be ready to deal with it next month so I'm not doing it. Maybe sometime in the future idk.

I'm a little calmer now. Idk. I feel like I'm just caged up rn. Maybe that's all of this or maybe that's because it's winter and I'm not going anywhere if I can help it idk. I just feel trapped. Trapped in a lot of different ways. Trapped in this apartment because I can't save up money to afford somewhere else. Trapped because if I didn't have Yoshi I legit would have gone to live in the woods already. And just rented motel rooms for the winter or stayed with friends. I 100% would have done that if not for him. I feel trapped in my own body and with my pain levels. And worst of all I feel trapped in my own mind. I'm having pretty much nonstop panic attacks for the past few days. It's fucking awful. I'm angry nonstop. I want to just be back to how things were again. Winter is always hard but comparative to how my summer was, this has been the worst winter since I moved out of my parents house.

This blog really is a chronicle of my descent into madness. My return, really. Fuck. Fuck this.

Maybe everyone would be better off if I just made them hate me and then I silently killed myself? Idk. That has always been my plan. Say some nasty baseless stuff and block them and tell them never to contact me again. Wait a few weeks and just do it. I'm pretty sure Sara would realize what was going on but she'd be unable to stop me. Sam would too but she has more freedom. She has a key to my house and no patient confidentiality to uphold.

I mostly just want to kill something/someone. Absolutely obliterate someone who makes me angry. Like physically beat the shit out of them. Not just call them horrible things and walk away. I want to personally remove Wally's face from his skull and pour bleach over it. I want to tie my father up and repeatedly push a scalding hot metal poker into his gut. And torment him psychologically with it. I want him to fucking suffer like he made me suffer. I want to fight Trevin one on one and pin him to the ground and bash his skull in.

I want to be an animal basically. I want to absolutely destroy my enemies. I feel like I'm a primal monster right now. I want to impale the severed heads of my enemies on a fence post as a warning to anyone who would try anything. A warning that lets them know I mean it. I want to kill and that's fucking terrifying.

I am not usually this blasé about taking the life of another. Normally I believe very much that I would feel remorse. Now... I'm not sure depending on who it was.

I'm frustrated because I'm pretty sure once you read this you'll probably want me to go inpatient but that's only gonna make things worse because they'll nonstop pressure me to start psych meds that won't do jackshit for me.

The "help" medical professionals always push on you is such a farce. I realize it's often like a liability thing but like fuck that. People with mental illness shouldn't be forced into a place where they're only gonna get treated either like a problem or like a baby who can't handle their own problems. Or both. I feel backed into a corner because you and Sara always want me to open up to y'all but like how do I do that without getting shoved into Brentwood or cross pointe??? Because the truth is a fucking liability and I feel like my freedom is being stripped from me every single time I do. At least with Sara, she knows me well enough to know when to back off. I get that you're trying but I can't open up if I tell you I want to die and that means you gotta get me sent back there.

People with mental illness aren't allowed free control of themselves. We aren't allowed to say no to being hospitalized. If I had cancer, I would be allowed to refuse treatment and die at home. But if I have suicidal ideation I'm forced into a place that makes it worse??? Fuck that and fuck anyone who supports that. This isn't just a me thing. I know people who won't go to therapy anymore because that happened to them and they're terrified of going back. They won't risk it. This shit kills more people than it could ever save. Also knowing you have to get naked in front of a nurse and a tech. How the fuck is that even legal??? The whole system is fucked up and therapists have to actively refuse to use parts of it in order to be able to actually help people without sending them into the pits of hell. They take all your shit and shove it in a locked box out of your reach so you can't use it. You're threatened with your insurance refusing to pay if you don't go to every single group and then what? Debt. Fuck that. So what do you do? Fake it. Fake your way out. Pretend your happy and they'll let you go. And for most people, that's easy as hell. We've been doing it our whole lives. I can't tell you how many times I faked my way outta cross pointe. Cross Pointe doesn't even try to care. They're like okay a happy label for you and have a nice life. Holy shit this post is long af.

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Ask D'Mine: "Diabetes-Friendly" Popcorn, BG Targets for Type 1's

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/ask-dmine-diabetes-friendly-popcorn-bg-targets-for-type-1s/

Ask D'Mine: "Diabetes-Friendly" Popcorn, BG Targets for Type 1's

Welcome back to our Saturday event, the diabetes advice column Ask D'Mine, hosted by veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois.

This week we're talking food — yay! And also digging into the meaning of glucose targets for people living on insulin — less yay, but certainly important to understand.

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Clara from Indiana, type 2, writes: I heard that popcorn is a good "diabetes-friendly" snack, but I was surprised to see how many carbs it has. I like to have popcorn for lunch, which means I'd sometimes eat about 4 cups. That's minimum 25 carbs! Why do I think that's just too much?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: First off, let's be clear that I don't find the terms "diabetes-friendly" and "snack" to be compatible. Second off, let's be clear that popcorn, diabetes-friendly snack or not, is most definitely not a diabetes-friendly meal! Meals need to have things like protein... and vitamins... and stuff.

But as to how much of anything is too much, consider that to maintain weight, a healthy meal for a woman would be in the 40-50 carb range, while men get to pig out in the 50-60 carb range. If you need to lose weight, a slightly lower carb count per meal is a good idea. Of course, carbs are only part of the story. We gotta talk about calories too. Carbs are a useful tool for understanding how much impact on your blood sugar a given food will have, and can be used as a rough guide for weight. But calories are a far more useful way to understand if what we are eating will keep our weight stable, make it go up, or make it go down. In general, the more carbs the more calories, but not always. Take popcorn for example.

A single serving of popcorn is anywhere between 4 and 5 ½ cups. Those little mini microwave bags are generally in the five-cup range, and yep, you nailed it: they run about 25 carbs. And they traditionally weigh in at 200 calories.

But they don't have to.

The latest and greatest thing in popcorn is the 100-calorie "mini" bag of microwave popcorn. When I first heard about these calorie-skimpy bags, I just assumed the cheap-ass people at Orville Redenbacher's slashed the serving size to two cups to achieve the calorie drop, but I was wrong. Both the 200-calorie and the 100-calorie bags are the same serving size, around five cups. WTF?

What has changed is the oil.

A good old-fashioned 200-calorie bag of microwave popcorn has 15 grams of fat. The new 100-calorie bags only have 2 grams of fat. By reducing the oil / fat content, they slashed the calories. The carbs stayed the same.

Less fat makes them healthier, right?

Not necessarily.

It depends on what you mean/want/need when it comes to the label "healthier."

For you, my type 2 cousin, it may be better to have less fat. But for me and my T1 kin, the higher fat popcorn may be better. No shit. Here's why: fat slows down the absorption of carbs. For those of us dependent on insulin, we often have a hard time matching the speed of carb absorption in our intestines with the speed of our insulin's action. Higher fat meals give us an edge, by slowing down the carb absorption and matching it more closely with the action curve of our modern "fast—acting" insulins.

So if I ate the 100-calorie bag, I'll actually have a steeper, faster excursion into high blood sugar territory than if I ate the 200-calorie bag. That's because they both have the same 25 carbs, but with less fat, the lower calorie bag will pump those carbs into my blood stream much more quickly. If I take more insulin to try to compensate, I'll probably go low a few hours downstream.

Of course most T2s don't have this problem. Y'all have some insulin gettin' mainlined from your pancreases still. You'd have to experiment with a box of each kind of popcorn, a stop watch, and a glucometer, but I'd bet there would be precocious little difference between what the two kinds of popcorn would do to your blood sugar.

Oh the other hand, the majority of T2s struggle with weight, so fewer calories would be better, and because virtually all T2s have a greater risk of heart trouble, cutting the fat content makes the 100-calorie bag a win-win for you.

But back to your original question, i.e. eating a bag of popcorn for a meal and worrying if it's just too much. Let me end with this thought setting nutritional value and fat aside for the moment, a 200-calorie meal is waaaaaay on the light side, containing only 10% of your daily calorie allowance to maintain your weight. If you are trying to lose weight, you need to take in fewer calories of course, but if you only ate three meals of popcorn per day (don't you dare!) you'd be getting 600 calories a day—fewer calories than the folks in Soviet labor camps got. And I think we can all agree that The Soviet Labor Camp Diet is not going to be the next best-selling fad diet any time soon!

Something to think about.

Jean from Minnesota, type 1 for one year, writes:I was curious as to what BG numbers most type 1s aim for? For example, morning fasting numbers -- do most try to keep the BG number under 90? 80? in the 70s?I'm not a control freak, but I think it would motivate me to have a realistic target number, even though I know I won't (can't) meet it all the time.

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: To be honest, there is quite a bit of disagreement about our target numbers, both in the medical community and in the patient communities.

In fact, the two largest diabetes doctors' groups can't even agree on where are numbers should be:

The American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists (AACE) Guidelines call for:

A Fasting blood sugar of less than 110 mg/dL

And a two hour post-meal peak below 140 mg/dL.

While...

The American Diabetes Association (ADA) Guidelines call for:

A Fasting blood sugar of between 70-130

And a two hour post-meal peak below 180.

So that's.... ummmmm... quite a difference of opinion.

And these numbers have become something of a moving target themselves over the last few years, with a trend towards personalizing them, at least for various therapies and age groups. Many docs are choosing higher targets for pediatric populations, whose blood sugars do the funky chicken dance with less warning, and for older folks, since the results of the Accord Trial suggest to many that shooting for lower blood sugars may be fatal to older folks. For what it's worth, I also support higher target for older patients as frankly, the older you get, the more likely you are to be done in by heart attacks, strokes, falling down stairs, or getting pecked to death by ducks (hey, it could happen) rather than being done in by your diabetes. Simply put, at some point your risks of garden-variety mortality get so high, it really isn't worth the effort to keep your blood sugars low. Something else will surely do you in before the blood sugar gets the chance.

Many PWDs seek "normal" non-diabetic blood sugars, the rationale being that as close to normal as possible is healthier. But this would mean sub-100 blood sugars. And while it can be done with super-low-carb eating and lots of insulin, I personally don't believe it's safe.

Trying to stuff diabetes back into the box it came in is nearly impossible given today's technology and medicines. And trying too hard to achieve "normal" blood sugars hugely increases the risks of hypoglycemia. Hypos are dangerous; they can kill you very quickly if you go too low, and recent evidence also suggests lows may also damage the heart. To top it off, frequent lows also result in hypoglycemia unawareness, and if you develop that you are at even greater risk of the whole go-really-low-and-die-quickly thing.

Sorry, I didn't intend to scare the pants off you...

In my option, the AACE guidelines are unrealistically inflexible. One thing they don't take into consideration is personal variation. Depending on your therapy, medications, diet, exercise patterns, and lifestyle, your morning numbers could vary quite a bit. That being the case, I like ranges. If your average has to be a little higher to ensure your lowest numbers aren't too low, well that's money in the bank. So chalk one up for the ADA. But at the same time, I feel 70 mg/dL is dangerously thin ice for most T1s. Or anyone else using insulin. You are very close to a hypo at that point.

I like to shoot for a morning target of 115/mg/dL most of the time. I get nervous if I get much below 90, and I get pissed off if I get much above 120. As for after-meal numbers, unless I've been forced to eat tofu and water cress, I'm not sure I've ever seen a 140 after eating. I do think, however, that keeping under 180mg/dL eighty percent of the time is realistic and achievable.

Remember too, that speed of change is nearly as important as degree of change. Slowly changing blood sugars are much easier on your diabetic body than rapidly changing blood sugars.

But no matter what numbers you and your doc settle on, remember these are just targets. Even high-tech predator drones miss their targets and blow up Afghan ice cream trucks now and again. A target is just something to shoot for, to strive for. They're not carved in stone. They're not the unmalleable laws of physics.

So no guilt allowed when you miss a target! At least not when you miss a blood sugar target.

If you just blew up an Afghan ice cream truck, then I think some guilt is called for.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article

[whateverisbeautiful]

Reveling in Richonne

#86: The "I Can't Lose You" (7x12)

Y’all, this moment takes me out every time. 😭  Like this line from Michonne always hits me cuz it’s just so genuine and vulnerable and emotional and perfectly executed. 

So, first, still holding her hand, Rick tells Michonne, “We’re gonna fight them. That’s what happens next.” 

It’s significant cuz in the candlelit scene Michonne was asking Rick what happens after Negan and where Rick was more vague in his answer there, here he is letting her know that, before they can think about what happens after, they have to first be really real about what happens next. 

And what happens next is that there’s going to be a fight that unfortunately has the potential to take away their chance at a life after Negan.

And then he acknowledges this harsh reality when he tell her, "And we're gonna lose people, maybe a lot of them, maybe even each other. Even then, it'll be worth it."

It sucks but it's true, especially with Negan's psycho behind. The odds of losing people are not just high but inevitable. And when TF first attacked that outpost Rick hadn't fully considered that, but he’s a changed man who is now more aware than ever that TF is not in fact invincible.

Hearing him say that it’ll be worth it, lets you know he’s come to terms with a lot since his state of mind in 7A. Like Rick knows that the minute he agreed to fight he’d be again risking not just his life but everyone’s life. What they’re about to do is life or death and you can tell he’s forced himself to accept that they might not live much longer but they’re going to go out trying and that’s what living really is. 

And then Michonne cracks my heart in two when she tells him "When I thought that..." First; the trailing off. I can’t. 😭 It just makes it so much more emotional cuz it's like she's trying to express what she felt when she thought he was gone but then gets so overcome by that thought that she has to stop talking. 😥 It's perfect, but still my heart wasn’t ready lol.

And if my heart wasn't ready just from that, then it really wasn't ready when she tells him through tears, "I can't lose you" 😭😥

Like why is this the mood for me every single time I hear this line…

It’s too much, y’all. You can practically see in real time her become fully aware that the root of why she’s so shaken rn is because she can’t lose him. It’s just so honest and perfectly raw and meaningful and real. 🙌🏾

Alright I'm going to try and get through this post but dang it's hitting my heart rn. 😥 Cuz this is Michonne. This character had lost so much and, just when the world thought it broke her, she chose to muster up the strength she had left and opened her heart again to a new group, to a new son, and to a new man.

And she's been so strong for so long and now she has this one thing that's just for her; This relationship. She put everyone's wants before hers and now she has what she wants. And it's this love that's so real and powerful and specifically for her. She knows she was meant to be with this man. She knows he's a huge part of her. And she feels she can't lose him. 😭

For her to say this is huge. Not just cuz of how extremely vulnerable it is but because it's her confirming that Rick is a whole other level of special to her. Like I said, she can roll with a lot of punches, and she has, but losing him is not one of those punches. That man has her entire heart y'all.

I also really love that this couple can make moments like this not feel cliche or cheesy. Like you really believed this was a woman authentically telling her man just how deep her love goes.

Plus, as a naturally independent woman, I also understand the weight of her words. Like not just any man could get her to the point where she feels she can't lose him. I think it really is an overwhelming feeling for her that she's not used to so it's a lot for her to experience all in one moment.

But what's also so sweet is that I feel like she's felt this for a long time. Rick's been crucial to her for a long time. 

It made me realize that all those times that she physically saved his life wasn't just for his sake but for her own as well. Part of why she continuously saves Rick is cuz subconsciously and consciously she’s been feeling like she can’t lose him.

And it's cool cuz this is her acknowledging that they are a unit that she values with her whole heart. Plus, the kicker for me is when I think about how Michonne is basically married to the leader. Her man is going to have a target on his back from any threat they come across. She’s been able to come to his rescue so often, and it has to be so hard for her to come to grips with the fact that she's not always going to be able to save him.

This moment again got me thinking about how a lot of things take courage in their fallen world, but one of the things that requires the most courage is to let yourself fall in love.

It’s truly a bold act because this is a world where loss is around every corner. Death is more common than life in their world and so to open your heart so completely to someone else, to allow yourself to have someone you’re in love with and that you want to live a long time with is a super brave thing that requires just as much strength as slaying walkers.

It makes sense that Rick and Michonne would be the ones bold enough to go for this kind of real deal love cuz they’re some of the bravest people left in the world. 

Like they maybe could have taken the low-risk route and just fought these feelings for the rest of their lives and continued ignoring the obvious soul mate vibes they had, out of fear of not wanting to gain something just to lose it. (Emphasis on “maybe” tho cuz this relationship feels way too meant to be, to the point that I think the universe was going to bring them together somehow and in a way they couldn’t ignore lol 😋) 

But instead they’ve allowed themselves to not just be in a relationship, but to fall deeply in love with one another to the point that now here’s Michonne telling this man she can’t lose him cuz their love is that immense. 

Like it takes guts to be so emotionally invested in someone in this world and it’s a beautiful and bold thing and such a confirmation that true love is always worth it, even when you know it might be taken away.

Rick told Michonne a similar version of "I can't lose you" in 7x4, and even though he proceeds to slightly change his tune on the whole “losing you” situation (which we’ll def talk about 😋), I think it really is so sweet and meaningful that they have both felt like they can’t lose the other.

It says not only that they know they have each other but also that they both know what they have found in one another is invaluable and irreplaceable. 👌🏽😊