#y'all see how i'm coping?
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I know I'm probably gonna end up on someone's 'kill it with fire' list for this, but I am so tired of each and every ask lately being someone's desperate plea for help.
I have neither the money to help, nor the energy to go through the vetting process of figuring out which request is legit and which isn't, so I can't just post them either, because I refuse to aid in someone's attempt to use other people's goodwill against them. scams are still a thing, and sadly enough people will use any opportunity to benefit from someone else's misery.
so please stop sending me these. I get at least three a day and if this doesn't stop I'm gonna have to turn off asks which sucks because I like talking to people. I just.. I can't anymore. I am exhausted, mentally and more importantly emotionally, and I just don't have the bandwidth to deal with this right now.
#yes I know people are suffering. yes I know they need help. but the ten people a day who see my posts don't have money either#if posting this means that some of y'all are disappointed in me or angry and decide to unfollow or whatever - sure. go ahead#it's not that I don't care. but I am barely clawing my way back into being a person atm and I just can't. I'm barely coping as is#so do what you feel is necessary (block. unfollow. whatever) and know that I feel like shit every time I delete an ask or block a blog.#(it doesn't help that everyone keeps posting about how easy it is to check and vet submissions bc guess what - it isn't#it still takes a toll emotionally and some of us have enough to deal with already)#so yeah. if the ask button goes away then know that it's not that I don't want to engage or listen to what y'all have to say#I just need to make sure that I'll be alright at the end of the day and that means boundaries even if they suck to enforce
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Hi, I wrote my first evak fic in early 2023, before that I had been an avid reader for years. I know the fandom is a little quiet but there's this hardcore group of writers and readers that seem to have been around since the start and all know (of) each other. I don't know how to word this without sounding envious but it seems to me that group doesn't really read, comment on, give kudos or support new fics outside of their little circle. I want to believe it's a time issue but I have to say it comes across cliquey and a little hurtful. I really hope I am just being an insecure baby but I would be so happy if the established and popular writers would give me feedback and leave comments.
hiya! congratulations on writing and posting! i know it can be a big, scary jump from reading to writing and sharing, so applause for that in the first place.
i'm sorry your contributions to the fandom haven't been received the way you'd like them to be. if i'm included in this group of writers and readers, then, well my reasons for not reading/commenting/supporting are possibly going to be more hurtful than what you're already experiencing! i've whined about it years ago (first here, then here), and unfortunately it all still stands, because i have done absolutely zero work on bettering myself as a human being. i think i've read a handful of fics, mostly because they've been sent to me directly, with someone asking for my thoughts, and i managed to put in the effort to read it and offer a polite response. but there are also a bunch of fics that have been shared with me that i haven't read, even when i've said i would. i'm sorry if you have specifically done this with me in the past, because i have not treated your work, your creativity, with the respect it deserves.
i can't speak for anyone else, on how they choose to spend their time reading or writing, or the relationships they have with other fans. on the one active skam discord i'm in, i think a lot of them know each other from other fandoms, or have different relationships beyond writing/reading skam fic. also, as skam fades, people might only have the bandwidth for enjoying and supporting fanworks from established relationships, the same way you still want to support a favorite author even when you or they have changed genres or whatever.
but in reality i don't know the group where this is happening or why. i agree, it would be nice to receive more readers and commenters in general, and being jealous of the attention other people receive is natural. but i don't know how to change your relationship with that group, or my relationship with reading & supporting.
#y'all should see the tailspin i am in right now#i do not like examining my own habits because they are so disappointing!#but there's the explanation for why i don't read#IF I AM EVEN INCLUDED IN THIS GROUP???#or am i just supposed to commiserate as an outsider? IDK#of course i automatically assume i am at fault#i do know that the fact that i don't read fic has pissed people off before#unfortunately pissing people off is not enough to change my behavior#as anyone willing to scroll through my asks on this website could tell you#but also you would not want my comments if i felt obligated to give them#and i think the people i've beta'd for would agree#i do not go into it as a fan#or as an appreciation#i go into it very defensively#which is a shitty relationship to have with art#anyway i am sorry that this is your experience and that i may be contributing to it#i do not have a solution for you#nor do i want to like.....guilt people into reading fic#and the way i cope with this#the way i coped with it back in the day when the fandom had more popular writers and reading groups#was by hiding#and lowering my expectations#i gave nothing to the fandom and i expected nothing from it#kerryrants#aka how i tag the posts when i'm being an asshole
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went into The Bell Jar tag to reblog a few quotes, maybe even some artsy edits and all I found were a bunch of completely unrelated desaturated images of conventionally pretty skinny white women in objectifying outfits and poses... and diet Cokes?? I thought the feminist interpretation of the harmful constraints of feminity was the most relevant possible interpretation of this book but apparently, it's not?? what the fuck is a coquette????
#how the fuck are y'all using female depression for whatever this shit is#it's one thing to make jokes to cope and dark humour#but turning it into a profitable consumerist male-gazy aesthetic#is just so tone-deaf and disrespectful wtf#I'm being very 'old man waves cane at the sky' rn#but seeing a contorted lingerie model in the book tag gave me an aneurism#the bell jar#I'm so sorry Sylvia#feminism#rant#radical feminism
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i honestly feel like even going to a rage room wouldn't help barton because, since people would still be watching him in a way (through the cameras and such) he'd feel like he'd have to hold some of his anger back and thus, the whole thing wouldn't feel anywhere near as cathartic to him as it should be. no... barton just needs to be able to go back to his childhood home and smash everything. and i mean, of course it wouldn't solve everything, but in his mind — at least it'd make him feel a little better.
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#i woke up today and chose violence y'all. i'm sorry about that JSJSJ#it's just that i really do think that barton has thought about it multiple times because he hates the fact that he quote unquote-#'wasn't good enough to receive his father's love.' but in reality it didn't have anything to do with him and maybe visiting his old house-#would make him realize that in a way because thing's are still exactly the way they were. like it's honestly haunting how untouched-#everything is. and so barton would finally be ablr to venture in places that he was never allowed to as a kid like wesleys bedroom-#for example and he'd be able to see physical evidence of him just being SO cruel somewhere maybe which would absolve him of this feeling-#that HE is to blame for not being 'lovable' to his father. because as long as he holds onto that belief i feel like barton is not going to-#heal from it at all and it just causes him suffering in the present so it's one of those things that needs to be remedied you know?#because whenever you have ideas like that stuck inside you it's just going to make you feel awful and plus barton has NOT been able to cope#with his death because he has no idea WHY wesley was so monstrous to him. but in this case there wasn't a reason why it was just kind of-#who he was. barton wasn't to blame for his father's behavior for he was a fully grown adult and should've at least tried to reach out to-#someone about his own mental health slowly but surely being on a steady decline bc that was his responsibility and he should've-#treated barton a lot better. but unfortunately he didn't.#tw: child abuse.#tw: mental illness.#tw: violence.
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i can't Not take your little "haha ew men" jokes to heart when 2 thirds of the people laughing along with you in the notes are terfs
bioessentialism is still shit even if it's for laughs/satirical/pwning the patriarchy or whatever your little excuse du jour is
#i am begging y'all to understand that the LGBTQ community isn't woman fem & non-binary only#''oh you must not care about women if you don't like anti-men jokes"#i can not even begin to explain to you how well my fist fits on your face#learn to cope with shit like a normal fucking person#''oh men have hurt me a lot so it's ok it's my trauma response''#ok. every single person who has caused me the most harm in life has been a woman. do you see me being a misogynist ?#your revenge mentality is getting you nowhere have a glass of juice and calm down#also no matter how many little 'but not trans guys ! i'm not saying that about transmascs !' disclaimers you half-heartedly throw around#you're still insinuating that people of my gender have no value and deserve no respect#do you think maybe that sounds familiar ???
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i swear i love lovestay so much but i will either cry or come close to tears Every time i hear it i have problems
#carly.txt#2020 and earlier hyunjinators know#first half of 2021 was lowkey so hard#then carlyline w hyunjin at the helm come thru and create the most beautiful song ever#to end off that year#sometimes i randomly remember hyunjin's . fanclub only new years message after the lovestay video#where he said he realized he was loved in every season#and i cry again SDSDGSDGDDDG#bc my concern during his hiatus and scandal and all that was. does he know how loved he is among all the negative comments#does he know how loved he still is even though he made a mistake and he's not perfect#so it came as such a relief to hear him say that bc i was so worried about that that entire year tbh#SO THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT EVERY TIME I HEAR LOVESTAY#like. do y'all understand how lucky and blessed we are that he even came back at all#sometimes i forget he was ever gone and then IT HITS and i'm like wow. i am so grateful u exist and we still get to exist alongside u#i am mean to him to cope w the fact that i love a MAN THAT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME this much#anyway. i hope he looks back at that time in his life and isn't bitter or sad and instead sees it as something that helped him grow#and i hope that's the darkest part of his career and that he can live successfully and happily#y'all would not BELIEVE how hard i just cried#lovestay is just such a beautiful and soft and gentle song that is so full of love just like the person that made it#it means so much to me and so does he#sorry everyone i'm having an emotional week this is my second night in a row crying over something or other SDFSDGDGDG
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1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...
🧔🏻♂️ queerqueg Follow
the franklin expedition is dead as hell
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan
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👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all
#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh
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🎨 asherbrowndurand
Just painted this
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ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927
RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed
🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow
HERITAGE POST
📝 shakespearesforehead Follow
How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol
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🌄 loyalromantic Follow
poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/
#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect
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🎀 thefopdiaries Follow
I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling
📜 bartlebi-thescrivener
i think i hauve consumption
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🐋 whaler4life
They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME
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🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow
I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense
#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo
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🤵🏻♂️ byronicherotournament Follow
🙈 butchbronte Follow
Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep
🙈 butchbronte Follow
I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
And? God forbid women do anything
#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily
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👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon
#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting
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👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH
#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....
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⭐️ newamerican
Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol
#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure
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I spent quite literally one [1] hour with my father and now feel like absolute shit. Unironically how does he do this [i am impressed]
#AvieRant#now mind you i am writing this from “weh weh weh huff puff” attitude so it is probably biased like a motherfucker#but whatever i'll feel bad for it later#so before we even get anywhere [walgreens] I talk about how someone on the discord got a full ride to yale and he goes on his#“You think you don't have to do things if you don't want to...” speech yada yada yada shut up please you're the reason why#I couldn't apply to college because you fucking refused to help me get my immunization records until like august [too late]#anyways I show concern for him as he says his ankle has been hurting especially on the EXTRA LONG WALK he CHOSE to take#and he fucking. slaps my stomach and says “yeah well I ain't got a pussy so I ain't a bitch”#i. are you fucking kidding me . one - don't touch me . two - fuck you. three - don't fucking touch me#then we GET to walgreens and he makes sure to inform me how stupid I am for... looking at the price of things before buying them#and actively gives me a side eye or sucks his teeth when I suggest making decisions based off of cost [idgaf if you have cash be smart >:(]#anyways he also just basically decides shit for me. I asked for one [1] thing and he informed me that I simply don't need it#before promptly ignoring any even suggestions of me getting something I'd actually want other than what he soyjaks at#so anyways as we go to pay ? fucker demands I go wait outside while he pays . for no reason. just. fuck me ig okay#anyways we seem to FINALLY be getting my phone turned on on the way home!!!! like we're AT T-Mobile!#then he has to wait 5 minutes and decides we'll just do it tomorrow. like he's been saying for 11 months#then basically tells me to go home alone while I carry everything bc he wants to go somewhere#like . fuck you fuck off i am tired of your bullshit#ugh . i. like again. can't ocmplain. free food and housing and what not. but do you HAVE to be a dick whenever you can? >:/#whatever i'm gonna go cope somehow see y'all around
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the alchemy (lando norris x reader)
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★ prompt: ❛❛ where's the trophy? he just comes running over to me . . . ❜❜ ★ pairing : lando norris x singer!reader ★ face claim : taylor swift ★ genres : fluff and humour ★ a/n : this is my first shot at writing, so i'm not sure how it's come out (i know the alchemy isn’t on the anthology, but that was a bit of creative liberty on my end). i really had to write this first one to celebrate little lando's win though! what an amazing race we had today at zandvoort ✨ ★ feedback and requests are always appreciated!
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liked by lando norris, max verstappen, oscar piastri and others
yourinstagram what if I told you I'm back? the tortured poets department out august 25.
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user1 she really do be going missing for months, only to show up with a whole new album.
user2 its giving are you ready for it and reputation.
user3 its not very demure or very mindful😭 user4 i mean, she's been MIA for a year just like before rep. user5 is it really missing if she's still being attending races?
user6 this better not be another break up album yn.
user7 fr yn, i'm not ready to be a child of divorce. user8 where's mr no wins? he's not in the comments. user9 you mean mr now wins. forgetting miami already? user10 they better still be together😭 user11 you lot really have no chill. he's here!
landonorris ❤️
user12 she looks sad. why does she look so sad?
user13 right? first picture looks like she's mid breakdown😭 user14 yn and lando better still be together!
fernandoalonzo lando what have you done this time?
landonorris why do you assume it's my fault? danielricciardo it's always your fault. landonorris no it isn't! carlossainz usually is. oscarpiastri always is. landonorris tell them to stop bullying me y/n, it isn't my fault😭 yourinstagram is not lando's fault - i swear, scouts honour! user15 i swear, scouts honour? easter eggs perchance?
landonorris i told you not to look so sad, everyone thinks its my fault!
yourinstagram i didn't think you were serious, you know I love you landonorris did y'all here that, she loves me! landonorris i love you too 💖 yourinstagram honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
kellypiquet can't wait to listen to it!
yourinstagram you've already heard the entire album😭 kellypiquet 👀
alexandrasaintmleux i know it's going to be amazing💕
yourinstagram you're welcome to come over for a sneak peak ;) charlesleclerc can i come too?
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liked by yourinstagram, mclaren, oscarpiastri and others
landonorris that's more like it — pole position baby 🧡
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yourinstagram so proud of you my love ❤️
yourinstagram never been prouder to wear papaya 🧡 kellypiquet you only wear papaya on the track! yourinstagram shhhh 👀 landonorris i'm right here babe. landonorris i thought you loved the colour 😭 yourinstagram you see 🥺 👉 👈 yourinstagram i'd wear it for you any day though... kellypiquet point is you don't 😂 yourinstagram kelly! stop exposing me here 😭 kellypiquet that's revenge for telling max i don't like red bull. landonorris you're lucky i love you yn 💖 maxverstappen and you're lucky i love you kelly💕
user1 lando on pole and ttpd out tomorrow, i don't think i'm getting any sleep 😭
user2 i swear, idk how i'm going to cope. user3 i'm going to be screaming, crying, throwing up. user4 right?!? thank god i don't have work tomorrow. user5 i'm going to need 2-3 business days to recover.
user6 an album and a pole?!? they really do be spoiling us...
user7 we need a mclaren 1-2 tomorrow
user8 lets go lando🔥🔥🔥
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liked by lando norris, oscar piastri, carlossainz and others
yourinstagram all's fair in love and war... the tortured poets department out now.
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landonorris 👀 ❤️
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liked by lando norris, yourinstagram, oscar piastri and others
mclaren he wins in miami and he wins in zandvoort 🧡 GIVE IT UP FOR OUR TWO-TIME RACE WINNER EVERYONE 🏆
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yourinstagram made me the proudest girl alive today lan ♥️
landonorris you make me feel like the luckiest man alive everyday. yourinstagram awww, i love you ❤️ landonorris i love you more than words can express my love 💖
oscarpiastri congratulations lando🧡
maxverstappen well done brother!
carlossainz felicidades lando!
user1 that. kiss.
user2 right? all that mattered to him in that moment was yn 🥺 user3 it felt like we were intruding on something so private! user4 i swear, i was like it's on tv but it feels like i should see that.
user5 they said there was no chance, trying to be the greatest in the league.
user6 WHERE'S THE TROPHY? HE JUST COMES RUNNING OVER TO ME!
user7 a win and a double album?!? i need a week to process this.
user8 and so lando no wins becomes lando two wins!!
user9 those haters really have gone silent all of a sudden. user10 yn and lando really shut them up!
user11 watch him win the world championship now 🏆
user12 you heard it hear first ladies and gentleman!
user13 lando we can be world champion i said.
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liked by lando norris, yourinstagram, mclaren and others
f1wags can we take a moment to appreciate how that man ran to yn the moment he got out of the car!
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user1 the way they literally had to get lando back on the car😭
user2 right? he really forgot they need pictures of him there. user3 he really be like i need yn before everything else!
user4 where can i get him?
user5 where's the trophy? he just comes running over to me.
user6 lando is the prime example of if he wanted to he would.
user7 the way that man simps over her, we all need lando in our lives.
user8 right, like those eyes on her ttpd post. user9 our boy knows that she's a mastermind user10 you can't convince me he didn't know the anthology was coming!!
user12 he so knew alchemy was coming on the anthology.
user13 right? he was really like i can make your dreams come true. user14 i know he gave it a little extra to win for yn today!
user15 you cant tell me yn didn't plan this!
user16 yn really proved she's the mastermind today❤️
user17 the way lando and yn liked this.
user18 and mclaren too - admin definitely ships lando x yn 🧡
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#ln4#smau#formula one imagine#formula 1 fandom#carlos sainz#fluff#romance#the alchemy#taylor swift#max verstappen#charles leclerc#oscar piastri#mclaren#dutch gp 2024#f1 2024#one shot#netherlands gp 2024#zandvoort 2024#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x you#social media au#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader
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i keep saying i'm not going to pay this show any more attention and I keep coming back with more thoughts and i decided to inflict them on all of y'all so here goes
hot take: the brad/hotshots storyline isn't inherently bad. it was entertaining. it was fun and campy, classic 911. i love it when shows get a bit meta. we stay sillay.
however it all falls completely flat, and here's why:
they butchered the main storylines they had set up at the end of s7 — Hen and Karen vs Ortiz (and Gerrard), the 118 vs Gerrard vs Tommy (don't play, they wrote it out with big block letters), Bobby's suicidal ideation, abrupt resignation and relationship conflict with Athena, not to mention NDE. the only storyline they seem to have spent any time on is Eddie and Chris — thank fucking fuck, some good food for Eddie.
they have disregarded previously established side characters in favour of developing Brad Torrence. where the fuck is Ravi? where's Sue, where's Linda? why is Josh only there as a mouthpiece to deliver a cringeworthy self-congratulatory speech praising Ryan Murphy's previous — and still DEEPLY biphobic — work?
the hotshots storyline of 8x07 and 8x08 should have taken place WAY later in the season: only after spending time giving their existing characters and relationships the focus they so sorely need.
Hen and Karen and their struggles with Mara being with Chimney and Maddie — where was the conflict between Hen and Chimney? blink and you miss it in 8x01. why was everything wrapped up so fucking quickly in 8x04? the pacing of that episode was INSANE. they could have drawn it out until the mid-season finale, and ended it on a positive note of Mara coming home.
Maddie and Chimney have had almost nothing all of 8a — what looked like a conversation about family planning, addressing their past issues, deciding to stick together and make it work this time, it was building up to something so good — and it crumbled before my eyes with the accidental pregnancy reveal. because we're dealing with teenagers who don't know how birth control works, not two grown adults in their 40s with a history of PPD. be so for fucking real.
and then: why bring back a homophobic, racist, sexist character, have him act EXACTLY like his old self — including throwing a subtle slur at his old subordinate who's just come out of the closet — and then reduce him to a cartoonish villain — did they perhaps realise that bringing back Gerrard was a big mistake? that no one wants to see this type of villain anymore? that his return undercut the justice of him getting fired by the LAFD for his bigoted behaviour? much to ponder.
Athena and Bobby nearly died, they lost their house in a fire (hello? ptsd flashbacks? no? okay.), then Athena nearly died AGAIN, but we don't need to linger on any of this. back to work, you two. Bobby, you get your firehouse back. Athena, back to doing bad cop shit, i guess. (they had a nice relationship moment with the house hunting and deciding to build etc in 8x04, and that's about it).
Buck had a consistent storyline between 8x01 - 8x04: struggling being under Gerrard, getting to work with Bobby again, and finally getting his captain back on a permanent basis. then we got 8x05 with Tommy — an episode dedicated on the intimacy and depth of their relationship — which they then completely fucked it up in 8x06. yes, the "past connection" reveal was a terribly done messy retcon of the entirety of s1 if you ask me, and a disservice to all three characters: Buck, Tommy, and Abby. the backlash from the GA following the breakup speaks for itself. but they then went to make a big joke of Buck coping with the breakup in 8x07 and 8x08. because we can't be serious about anything, ever. and again — I get it. it's the weewoo show. but don't tell me they haven't previously done well thought-out, touching storytelling. anyway, this got a little derailed because i'm still so fucking salty — the bottom line is, however they butchered Buck's storyline, at least he's had something meaningful.
the only other main that has had a meaningful storyline in 8a is Eddie. they've shown him struggling with being away from Christopher in almost every episode. i can't say i'm a big fan of the way 8x06 went for him (literally. enough with the movie references. tim minear have a fucking original thought for once). but I'm loving where his storyline is headed. that was a good 'cliffhanger' if you will. go back to your roots baby! go reconcile with your son — own up to your mistakes! talk to him about his mother! go to father-son therapy together! -> so much wishful thinking, y'all. we'd be lucky to get 1/10th of this on the show, but whatever.
tldr: no one gives a flying fuck about hotshots or brad because while we love the silly weewoo show, we need something to chew on before you toss us a half-baked dessert. to quote lou ferrigno jr, i am not satisfied.
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when you know you know - matt sturniolo
in which seeing matt interact with your little cousin tugs on your heartstrings
┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊
Nerves were running rampant through Matt's body. You could practically feel it. Most of the car ride had been silent, which was unusual. The two of you would normally talk the whole time, talking about your day or anything that was on your mind.
However, Matt was too uneasy to speak. Today he was finally going to be meeting the rest of your family. He had met your parents a few months earlier, and of course, he was nervous, but this was a whole different level of anxiousness.
You two had been together for almost a year. He had met your parents a few months in, and they absolutely adored him. It was the same way when you met his. But, meeting the rest of your family was an even bigger deal to him.
Every year, your family would host a big cookout in the summer. It was a way for everyone to see each other and catch up. And you thought it would be the perfect idea to bring Matt.
"It's okay, baby." Your hand found his arm, gently grabbing onto the tattooed skin. You began to rub patterns onto the skin, trying to calm him down. His eyes left the road for a split second, locking onto yours. You gave him a small smile as you looked into his eyes. They were slightly widened, which told you just how anxious he was. "I'll be with you the whole time."
After about twenty more minutes of driving, Matt pulled his car into your aunt's driveway. You watched his fingers slightly tremble as he took the key out of the ignition, which made you frown to yourself. "You ready, babe?" you asked as you unbuckled your seatbelt. He gave a short nod before the both of you exited the car.
You stood hand in hand at the front door, waiting for someone to open it. Matt occasionally gave your hand a squeeze, which you learned was a way he coped with his anxiety. Soon enough, the door opened to reveal your little cousin. "Y/n!" she squealed. She ran up to you, wrapping herself around your body. Her head rested on your stomach as she looked up at you, making you laugh.
"Hi, Julie." Julie was your little cousin and was only six years old. Over the years, the two of you had grown quite close. At every family event, she stayed attached to your hip. "How have you been, pretty girl?"
"Good."
You turned to look at Matt. He had a big smile on his face as he looked down at Julie. "She's the cutest isn't she?" He nodded at you. "Julie, this is Matt." She looked up at him, shyly waving at him.
"Hi, Julie." He held his hand out for a high five, which she hesitantly accepted.
"Y/n, it's so good to see you." Your aunt came around the corner, wiping her hands on her pants. Based on that, you could tell she had been cooking. She loved to cook and you always enjoyed her food. Her arms wrapped around you, pulling you into her chest for a hug. As she pulled away, she looked you up and down. "Don't you look awful pretty?"
"You know I get it from my mama," you replied with a laugh.
Her eyes wandered from you and over to Matt. She gave him a quick look before looking back to you. "Oh, this is Matt."
"It's nice to meet you, Matt." She pulled him in for a quick hug, which he stiffly accepted. "I'm Y/n's aunt Veronica."
"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. L/N."
"Oh, please call me Veronica. Calling me Mrs. sounds so old," she said with a laugh. A nervous chuckle left his mouth as he nodded. "Well, I'll let y'all get out there. I gotta get back to the kitchen anyway."
You grabbed Matt's hand and led him out to the backyard. Your parents were sitting at a table, talking to your grandparents. You walked over towards them, Matt following close behind you.
You wrapped your arms around your mom, resting your head on her shoulder. "Hi, my girl." Your mom grabbed onto your arms, giving them a loving squeeze.
You pulled away, making her turn around in her seat. Her eyes landed on Matt, immediately lighting up. "Matt, it's good to see you, honey." He walked over to her, giving her a quick hug.
After your father hugged you, he walked over to Matt, giving him a pat on the back. "It's good to see you. Don't be too nervous, I was in your position not too long ago," he joked. Matt let out a laugh, which made you smile to yourself.
For the next few hours, you spent your time stuffing your face and introducing Matt to the rest of your family. It was safe to say they liked him already. And you could see every ounce of nervousness leave his body.
After a quick trip to the bathroom, you made your way back outside. From across the yard, you could see Matt and Julie. She was on her swing and Matt stood behind her, gently pushing her forward. The sight alone made your heart burst.
You walked back to the table, taking a seat beside your aunt. Your eyes were still glued onto Matt, smiling as you saw how he interacted with Julie. How he made sure he was gentle and the big, toothy grin he had on his face. The sound of Julie's precious giggles filled your ears, making you clutch onto your heart.
"You picked a good one." You turned your attention to your aunt, who nudged your shoulder. "I've never seen her be so comfortable with someone so quick before."
"I know." The two of you sat side by side, watching as Matt played with Julie.
As the night came to an end, the sun started to set, making the air around you get chilly. After telling all of your aunts and uncles goodbye, you made your way over to Matt. He was still playing with Julie, only they had moved to her little table in the grass.
As you got closer, you saw Julie asleep on Matt's lap, her head resting on his chest. A little bit of drool shined from the corner of her mouth making you laugh to yourself. But the way Matt held onto her made butterflies erupt in your stomach. It's almost like he was made for this. Just seeing how good he was with kids made your heart stop.
"You ready to go?"
He placed his finger to his lips, making a shushing sound. "We gotta put to her bed first," he whispered. He carefully stood up, making sure not to wake her. His hand found the back of her head, holding her against his chest. You led him up into her room, tucking her in for bed.
When the two of you were back in the car, you couldn't help but sigh to yourself. It was such a good day for both of you. "What?"
You turned to look at him. "They loved you, Matt. They really did." You grabbed onto his hand, interlocking his fingers with yours. "Seeing you with Julie really made me happy. You don't understand how cute you looked." He softly laughed, squeezing your fingers.
No one in the world could be better for you.
┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊
a/n: had to take a break from writing smut, was getting kinda tired of writing it 😭😭 but i just know matt would make an amazing girl dad ☹️
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt x reader#matthew sturniolo
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I need to be salty for a hot second about people who are upset about aspects of Lucanis' romance.
I'll put everything else under the break for spoilers, but in general, I am so disappointed in a large portion of this fanbase who apparently thought "disaster" meant "romantasy," but also it's in keeping with how a lot of people seem unable to put things in context.
One of the complaints I keep seeing run past is that the scene where you commit to a relationship with Lucanis seems pefunctory, or out of the blue, there's nothing really romantic about it, it's too similar to the platonic route, etc, etc, ETC.
I romanced Emmrich, but I've seen other people's versions of romancing Lucanis. I'm just going to kind of word vomit here, and hope I can come up with something cohesive.
As someone who id's with Lucanis for "generational abuse" and "dumpster fire disaster bi" and "using socially acceptable drugs as coping mechanisms in place of addressing your problems" reasons, it's been really fucking annoying watching the almost deliberate misinterpretation of his character even after Mary Kirby dropped several explanations on social media. It's like a large part of the fanbase saw all that and turned into the "yes yes, very sad...anyway!" meme and went right on fetishizing him...then got mad when he didn't turn into the seductive Dom with wings they were hoping for.
You commit to Lucanis after (what I consider) a very intense scene inside his "mind prison." He's struggling so much internally that Spite wrests control of his body from him in front of witnesses and begs Rook to help them. Lucanis would never ask Rook to do so on his own, he's terrible at asking for the help he truly needs. Spite drags Rook into the Fade Ossuary and demands they free Lucanis from his self-imposed prison. And whether you're a friend or would-be lover, Rook slowly talks Lucanis out of a host of self doubts regarding his family and friends. Can he trust himself not to hurt other people, now that he's saddled with this affliction? Has he disappointed the people he cares about most? Do these new people he's coming to care about actually trust and care about him? The rooms are filled with fragmented thoughts that peter out into regrets. You're literally seeing Lucanis' fractured and complicated emotions.
One of them tore a hole straight through me: "You'd have to kill me...And Spite would die."
You'd have to kill him to get rid of the demon. And he'd regret the death of the demon that's protected him and given him strength, through a brutal year of betrayal and torment. I don't know if y'all remember the scenes in the Ossuary of the failed experiments and the corpses you had to pass to get to his jar of blood. It wasn't fun.
When you break out of the mind prison after helping him bond with Spite, it's intimate and momentous, even on a platonic route. You've seen desperate and lonely parts of him he'd never willingly show anyone.
As you're convincing Lucanis that it's okay to leave his mind-prison, you tell him you understand that it's easier to deal with problems like the Ossuary and Zara than healing and living with Spite, potentially hurting people he cares about. But he wants to. It's Rook's job to help him see a path out, a way for him to make the struggle easier so he can begin to heal himself.
I need to stress: you aren't "fixing" him. You're acting as his lighthouse, regardless of whether you're a friend or a lover. Sometimes people need help. He's still going to have to do the work to get there.
As a friend, it was extremely rewarding to come back to the kitchen and see him doing exactly as I'd hoped: moving on with the business of *living*. He made a nice dinner for everyone he's come to care for, and a special dessert for Neve. Cooking is where Lucanis finds creativity, and comfort, and connection with his friends and family. He isn't very good with words, but he will note everything you consume, and try to make you feel loved by expressing it that way.
Which is why I think it's important you don't dismiss the commitment on the romantic route. He remembers YOUR favorite drink and makes YOU a special dessert if you're romancing him. Lucanis isn't going to get poetic. You've already made him feel raw. You've seen the ugly, embarassing parts of him. What is he supposed to say? Usually it takes Spite reaching through his body to actually be direct. Instead, Lucanis reaches for food, his favorite medium, to try and apologize for inadvertently showing you those things, to thank you for helping him despite seeing what he considers the most shameful parts of him. Your commitment is letting him know that you value him, that he has nothing to be ashamed of, that you understand what he's trying to express with his struggling communication skills, which appear to get better as your relationship progresses from there.
It's weird that some of y'all don't feel that this is heartfelt and important, because you'd rather him act out some sensuous fantasy trope. It's also weird that some of you haven't figured out that many scenes in RPG's can be similar on platonic and romantic routes with tweaks to shade context.
(Also just in case this comes up: cooking is not his "love language" - that whole concept was invented by a misogynistic weirdo and we should remove it from our ideas of communication)
Anyway, this guy is my Rook's bestie and I'll go down swinging for him, you should appreciate the fuck out of him and stop acting like his writer didn't craft a perfectly funny little weirdo who is bad at showing people his tender parts and terrible at interpersonal relationships.
#dragon age#datv#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age lucanis
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I want you to know I love and care about y'all and am deeply sorry and disturbed about how the u.s. election turned out.
I love those of you who are immigrants, trans, POC, non-binary, gender fluid, gay, bi, pan, two-spirit, gender nonconforming, intersex, disabled, unhoused, struggling with addiction, mental health, bad home life, abuse, SA survivors, childfree, women, people who can get pregnant, and anyone who doesn't fit sick fascist ideals. And I Iove all of you who love them. You're all special and I value you.
We have 2.5 months until inauguration. I understand the sense of dread, and I feel it too. Even if I don't feel hopeful, I'm staying open to the possibility of hope. We need it. Maybe we need anger, too. These things can coexist.
abortion resources
Let's be kind to ourselves rn. You deserve kindness. No judgment if you have a history of self destructive behavior. I've been there. Terrible events don't have to derail us. We persist in spite of them. I'm proud of you for hanging in there and finding healthy ways to cope right now.
I always want this blog to be a safe space. I block liberally. I won't allow judgmental comments on posts or debate in my asks.
Need an appearance from your favorite morally dubious or murderous man? I will be open to requests for blurbs/microfics. Update: See pinned post for the fics.
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I don't know why whether Astarion does or doesn't want kids is such a hot debate. I feel like he could go either way to be honest. Imma be honest as someone who isn't eager to have kids irl I think some of y'all are projecting yourselves onto Astarion when you say he wouldn't want them.
If you pay attention to him carefully in game it's pretty clear he just pretends to hate kids. (Likely as an unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with the fact that he was forced to kidnap the gur children)
You know like how he pretends to hate Scratch, how he pretends to hate kind people, how he pretends he doesn't care about anyone, need I say more?
You know the man bullshits half the time right?
Man is legit concerned if Yenna is kidnapped by Orin, approves of giving her food or money, and approves of saving Vanra from Ethel before killing the hag.
My own personal headcanon is that if Tav (or whoever he's romanced by) wants kids, then Astarion will probably warm up to the idea and if Tav doesn't then Astarion is perfectly happy being child free.
Whether or not he'd be a good dad is a whole different ball game entirely. I personally think he would be far from perfect, (likely he would have no fucking idea what he was doing most of the time) but he'd care about his kid. I honestly get a little pissed off when people say he would be a deadbeat dad, because unless we're talking about the ascendant version of him that is so not true.
I can however definitely see him raising a spoiled rotten entitled brat who gets away with murder though. But him not being interested in his kid whatsoever does not feel right to me.
Basically I'm just saying let people enjoy their little dhampir baby fantasies godsdamnit.
If you don't want kids it's perfectly valid. You do you honey! Enjoy all that extra child-free cash you're gonna have! Take a vacation, travel, buy all shit you want! Enjoy your freedom!
I really don't like the idea of being responsible for children irl personally but the idea of having a sweet dhamphir daughter with long bouncy white curls just makes me feel all fuzzy inside.
#baldurs gate 3#astarion ancunin#astarion bg3#bg3#astarion x tav#astarion my beloved#astarion romance#astarion x reader#dadstarion
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Me: hi I'm a barely functional idiot tranny faggot that threw my entire existence into academia as a coping mechanism and am now barely holding on through burnout. I probably have an unhealthy relationship with caffeine, alcohol, weed, and online attention. I've fucked up a LOT and regret a lot. I have a fucked up self image and nervously boymode to hide who I am day to day, and run like a scared rabbit if I see someone I know while I'm in girlmode. Even online, I hide my face. Starting HRT was the first decision I made in my life that made me happy after some traumatic events, and now I'm picking up the pieces and figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life, and I'm iust coasting until I do.
All y'all: omg role model?!?!? Accomplished and confident QUEEN?!?!? Everything is so perfect in your life?!?!? How are you so smart?!?!? How are you so confident?!?!?
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HOLD ON STOP THE PRESSES BEYONCE QUOTE: I SAID STOP THE WORLD
I found a model named Ahmad Cissé and Y'ALL. You need to visibly see this with your own two eyes
You see it. My sibling in Christ I know you see it. I know you feel it in your soul. Let's all say it together-
THAT DUDE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE HOBIE.
I'm on Pinterest grinning hard as hell in my phone kicking my feet because like...
The hair??? The nose?????? AHGHHHH HE'S EVEN WEARING A CHOKER! *kicking wall*
The image of Hobie in my head just got 10,000x more detailed and GIRL I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE. I AIN'T COPING WITH IT WELL LEMME TELL YA
Somebody needs to come get me. Someone needs to come to my vicinity and collect me because to be honest, idk what im capable of I'm SO DOWN BAD
My imagination didn't need this. I'm gonna be thinking things.
I can't take it. I can't take it. I've had it up to here-
This isn't okay. GET OUTTA MY HEAD.
#Y'ALL CAN WE - !!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH#spiderman#atsv#spider man#marvel#across the spiderverse#hobie brown#spider punk#spiderpunk
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