#y'all lazy as shit for real

[eliseliedl]

so... no femc, no The Answer, no FES content and they recasted all the voice actors...

if you saw me being excited about this game... no you didn’t

[idkwhatever580]

Holy Shit!

Pairings: G!P Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Prompt: During the ceremony for Y/n and Natasha’s wedding, all of Y/n’s and Natahsa's bridesmaids/men slip Polaroids of Y/n's boudoir shoots throughout the night which leads to a hard time for Natasha.

Warnings: slight mentions of family trauma I guess (not having a dad), SMUT, P in V (Natasha has a penis), rough sex, boudoir pictures, unusually dominant reader (it mentions that nat is usually top), toys, teasing, swearing, praise, orgasm denial, degradation, wife kink sort of?, mommy kink, let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: I hope y'all like this one! I've been thinking about how to approach it for a while now and I think I'm ready. Also, this is going to be my first time using my laptop to write so if it is a little weird, I apologize, I'm still figuring out everything from the switch. I'm sorry for the random pov switch. I was all mixed up, but I'm too lazy to fix it. :)

Sidenote: -Y/f/i = your first initial -Y/n/n = your nickname -Detka= baby - Dorogoy= darling

Natasha and I just had the most amazing night of our lives, we got married! but the fun is not over yet.

I have devised a plan that has been in the works for a few months. Honestly, I knew I wanted to do this for Nat even before we proposed to each other. Although I only started truly planning it out after we got engaged.

I went to a boudoir photoshoot. Naturally I needed someone to take pictures. I didn't want Nat to be mad that someone else saw my body, so I asked Wanda, my best friend who has seen my literal everything (one time she literally had to pull my tampon out because I broke both my arms and Nat wasn't home to help), and she helped me get the best pictures ever. Then, I moved onto the second phase of my plan, recruiting.

Natasha and I already had our list of bridesmaids/men in place, so I made sure to use all of them. Natasha had four and I had five.

Natasha's bridesmaids/men are Clint as her Man of Honor, and Yelena, Tony, and Steve.

My bridesmaids/men are Wanda as my Maid of Honor, Kate, Bucky, Carol, and Thor (even though he doesn't quite understand "earthling" weddings yet.)

They all thankfully agreed, even Yelena which was surprising, and I picked out the best photos and put them in order. So, my plan was set and now all I need to do is trust our friends to get the pictures to her. Which I don't even have to worry about that, Wanda has the list and all of the pictures, so she is going to hand them to the set brides' person at the set time and they will deliver it secretly to Nat.

She's gonna be so hard by the end of the night, which is technically my plan. Of course, we've had sex before, and we already plan on fucking later, but she definitely is going to fuck hard tonight.

We are getting to our venue for the celebration after the wedding now and Nat and I have been together the whole car ride, which wasn't that long, but we went for a ride together in the limo so that everyone could get there before our grand entrance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You step out of the limo carefully and walk hand in hand to the building. Even though you have already seen the inside and all the decorations, you are still blown away by the beauty of it all.

You and Nat have a planned entrance where she walks in first and then you walk in and "fall" into her to the song Fallin' for Ya.

Everyone cheers for you all, and you both stand together to talk to people. You lean over to speak in Nat's ear so she can hear over the noise the second you see Wanda slip the first photo to Thor, who remembers exactly what to do, thankfully. "Nat, I'm going to talk to Wands real quick are you okay to stay here for a sec?"

She nods her head and says back, "Of course detka, don't keep me waiting too long now"

You smile and nod your head and leave to Wanda, but not without giving Nat a soft peck on the cheek. Thank God for Lip stain, you think, or else both yours and Nat's lip color would be all over your faces by now, especially from that limo ride.

You walk up to Wanda and say "oh my gosh, I'm so scared! What if something goes wrong?"

She giggles at your stressed face knowing there is nothing to worry about, and says, "Hey! Deep breath. Don't be scared, Thor has practiced many times, he is going to get it right."

You nod and keep talking beside Wanda as you subtly watch your wife engage with her friends.

Thor finally walks up to Natasha and casually slips her the first polaroid, and you can't wait to see the look on her face. All of the people Nat is talking to are part of the plan so they know what is happening.

She furrows her eyebrows when she looks at her hand to see that Thor has given her a polaroid upside down so she can't see it. She looks up to ask him what it was, but he was already long gone, so she flips it over not suspecting a thing. She takes one look at the picture and her eyes go wide. She immediately presses the picture to her chest and looks up to find you smiling at her innocently as if she didn't just get handed this.

You send her a soft wave and go back to "talking" with Wanda, and Natasha checks to make sure nobody is behind her and looks again. She smirks at the picture and slides it into the hidden pocket in her dress that was made for a gun in case she needs to protect you, but now it holds something even more valuable to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It has been about fifteen minutes since Nat received her first "gift" and even though she asked about it, you acted stupid and didn't tell her anything saying, "What picture? I didn't take any pictures other than the ones after the ceremony with all our brides' people."

You are now about to cut the cake which is when the next picture is going to be given to her. You decided that every time she gets a pic, the next one is going to be even better than the first. It will really rile her up you think. So as you two walk over there, hand in hand, you walk by Tony who hands her the next polaroid as she passes by him. This time she knows not to look until she is at the cake table where nobody is behind her.

She has an arm around your waist and she sneaks a peak at the next photo.

This one makes her huff out a breath, and she looks over at you who is "oblivious" to the thing she just saw. She squeezes your side as she slips the photo, once again, into her pocket, and you smile slyly at her. She leans over to whisper, "You know what you're doing Y/n."

You both pick up the knife and you say, "Doing what? Cutting the cake?"

She rolls her eyes at you and you both cut the cake and feed each other a slice. Then you both go back to the table that only you and her sit at, and you add, "Of course I know what I'm doing, why else would I do it?" Then you go back to eating your slice of cake acting just as innocent as before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You just had your first dance, and it was beautiful, the song you both picked together was a testament of your love and it brought tears to everyone's eyes.

Then, you decided instead of a father daughter dance, to have a Maid/Man of Honor dance. You danced with Wanda and talked and laughed, while Natasha and Clint did the same.

It was beautiful really. You had decided to do this because, even though Natasha has Alexie, you wouldn't have been able to participate since your dad is no longer in your life. The dance with your best friends meant infinitely more than a dance with your fathers would have anyways, and thankfully Alexie wasn't hurt by this. He realized he wasn't a good "dad" in the beginning of her life, and it wasn't his position.

As the dances concluded, Clint smirked at Natasha, and he reached into his suit pocket to pull something into his hand and slipped another polaroid into her hand.

People start joining on the dance floor to have some fun and Nat looks down at the photo and says, "Holy Shit!" maybe just a little too loud making her blush. She shakes her head as Clint laughs and walks off to his wife and kids, but not before Nat punches his shoulder softly, and then she glares at you.

You smile cheekily at her as you walk to her for another dance. You start slow dancing together and say, "Hey baby, whatcha doin?"

She smiles softly at you and says, "Thinking about my beautiful wife and what she and I are doing later tonight."

You make a fake surprise face in the shape of a soft 'o' and say, "Is that right?"

She giggles into your neck, and it is the most beautiful sound you could hear and hums, "mhm"

You smile as you spin her around the dance floor and say, "Well thank you for the compliment baby, but whatever you're thinking is going to have to wait. We promised each other we wouldn't leave earlier than we planned, remember?"

She groans and nods her head in slight defeat mumbling, "I know we did."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are now both talking to Natasha's family about what is next for you both. Melina starts out with, "So, when am I getting some grandbabies?"

You and Nat both exchange glances and look back at them and you say, "Well... I uh-" You freeze not knowing what to say.

Thankfully though, Natasha is there for you and says, "Y/n has decided she does not want to give birth. I obviously can't give birth given my situation, and I won't be disrespecting my wife's wishes, so we are going to take it slow as we weigh our other options."

You smile softly knowing that you picked the right girl to be your wife. She literally always has your back. Finally, having composed yourself you cut in as well and say, "We also have decided that we want to live our lives together before we settle down. We want to have the right parenting mindset you know."

Melina and Alexie nod their heads and smile Melina replies, "Well I don't care how or when it happens, I just want a grandbaby." As she is speaking, Yelena inches closer to Nat and then she 'holds' her hand briefly, but in reality, she is slipping the next picture into her hand. Nat's smile widens at the thought of another picture and Yelena walks off to go find Peter and bother him.

Natasha feels like she needs to look at this picture, but she can't if her parents are standing right in front of you, so she smiles when a song she knows comes on and says, "Mama, Papa listen, it's your song! Go dance!" She ushers them off and then turns to you to look at the photo.

This one makes her giggle, so you quirk an eyebrow and say, "What's the problem? Don't like it?"

She widens her eyes a tiny bit and shakes her head so much that you laugh and say, "Alright calm down, you'll mess up your hair"

She smiles and says, "I love it so much, I was just laughing because you could totally be wearing this under your dress since it's white."

All you do is smirk at her and it takes a second for her to process, but she gets it and her mouth falls agape just a bit. You simply walk off and Wanda comes over to say, "Come on! It's time for the flower toss!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Both you and Natasha agreed on doing a flower toss, only one is for the guys, and one is for the girls. Your reasoning being that the girls can get a little rough and you wouldn't want any of the boys to get hurt or anything like that. The boys can be very sensitive. ;)

So Natasha does the first toss to the boys, which includes Valkyrie as well since they are feeling more masculine today. (Like a king should). Thankfully nobody got into any fights since they're respectable people. After a bit of laughter, Clint comes out victorious and says he and Laura are simply going to renew their vows. Then he hands Laura the bouquet, and she smiles kissing him softly earning an aww from everyone.

Your toss is next and Loki decided to join in on the girls side since they are feeling more feminine. (Queen shit). The girls didn't get in any fights but they were definitely more aggressive than the boys. Scary, but the one who comes out with the bouquet is surprisingly Carol, who looks over at Val and smirks.

While your toss is happening though, Bucky walks up to an unsuspecting Natasha as she watches the girls' chaos enfold and he gives her a sly smile. By now she has caught onto him and says, "You too?"

He nods his head and says, "You never know which one will be the last." and then he slides the polaroid into her hand like a drug dealer and walks off like nothing happened.

The toss ends right around the same time that her exchange with Buck ends, so you're already making a b-line for her to see her reaction to this photo. She shields herself with your body to look and she swiftly turns the photo.

She groans as she slips yet another keepsake in her hidden pocket. You smile as she leans her head on your shoulder, which to anyone else would look like she's just cuddling up to you, but you know better. So you lean really close to her ear and whisper, "Are you hard baby?"

She simply nods her head. Thank God she fell in love with a decently poofy dress that doesn't show the contours of her dick. Especially since most people don't know about her little friend down there, not that it's any of their business, but they don't know because she always tucks it for events and missions. However, most of the main Avengers know, having all walked in on you two at least once. So, you walk to your table and sit down so she can have a break. You giggle at her when she's taking a few breaths and say, "What? You act like you haven't seen me naked before."

She glares at you and says, "No, it's not that. It's the fact that my lovely beautiful wife keeps catching me off guard, and might I also add the fact that she is so incredibly hot that I can barely handle myself?"

This makes you blush softly, and she smiles at you. You two share a sweet moment even through the dirty part.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thankfully Nat has had a few minutes for her... stuff to calm down, because Wanda picks up the mic and starts speaking, "I'd like to make some toast please."

You both giggle at the joke she stole from Agnes in Despicable Me 2, one of the movies that brought both you and Wanda childlike comfort during hard nights, while everyone else quiets down for the speeches. Wanda continues, "We are going to start our speeches now, so could Melina and Alexie please come up?"

Both of Natasha's parents stand by you and Melina starts, "I was not in Natasha's life for a very long time, so I don't feel like I am in a position to give a grand speech about yada yada this and that, but I do want to say, from the moment I saw you Natasha, I knew you were good. I knew you would become successful, and I knew you would excel in life. I am so happy that you have found love with Y/n, because you two are the perfect match, and I could not be more honored to be your mother-in-law Y/n."

She passes the mic to Alexie who, up until now, has had a stern face on. "Natasha, Melina already said all of the words I had for you, but she did not speak on this. Y/n, when I first met you I thought that you were never going to marry my daughter. I didn't think you were worthy of such a woman as Natasha, but as you got to know me more, my view on you changed. You kept pushing with her family even when you could have lost hope on us. You proved that you are willing to do anything it takes to get her, and I now see that you are more than worthy of Natasha's love."

He turns into a sobbing mess before he can finish anything else, and their words make you cry, but you try to keep from sobbing since you spent so much on your makeup. Then the speakers continue to go up and give their speech, make you cry, and then move on.

Clint gets the mic eventually and he takes a big breath and then starts, "When I met Natasha, I was on a mission to eliminate her. I was about to take the shot when we made eye contact, and something in me said no. I just could not pull the trigger, because what I was told I was going to be killing was an assassin, a robot, a tool. What I saw that day was anything but those things. I saw a girl who needed out, who was hurting, and that day turned into one of the best days of my life. We hid in vents for so long making sure that she was safe from the people who had her. We did nothing but play tic-tac-toe, rock paper scissors, and plan. We planned on how I was going to tell Fury that I did the exact opposite of what he told me to do. In reality I was actually more scared of Agent Hill, she's very scary, but I digress... All I really need to say is, as an archer, whenever people ask what the best shot I ever took was, I am honored to say it was the one I didn't take."

When Clint hands the mic over, there is not a single dry eye in the whole venue. Clint goes to Nat, and she hugs him so tight you think that he might die from lack of air. When they pull away, she kisses his cheek and whispers something in his ear, while he wipes her tear away and nods his head. He goes back to his seat and Wanda steps up to start her yap session.

"Y/n/n, when we met at the compound, there was something about you that was different than everyone else, you seemed so familiar, and I just could not pin it. We became great friends, but it took me about four months to realize why you seemed so familiar to me. One day when I was hanging out in your room, you opened your jewelry box in front of me and showed me a bracelet. It had little beads on it that said W+(Y/f/i). I burst into tears when it hit me. This girl,"

She points to you before she continues, "Was the girl that saved my life. We were friends from way back when we still lived in Sokovia. We had made these matching bracelets the day that we lost our families. It was also the day I lost her. Or so I thought. We were all hanging out in the living room together when it happened. Y/n felt shaking from the first few bombs and she told me and Piet to hide under the bed while she went to find her parents and make sure they were safe. Then the bombs went off. I thought we lost her. So we mourned both our parents and my best friend that day. It wasn't until I found out it was her all these years later that I knew she was also safe from the bombings but was taken. HYDRA took her from our lives, but the universe brought her back to us, and I could not be more grateful for her. I owe my life to her, and I have made sure she knows how deserving she is of happiness as her best friend, and now it is Natasha's turn, as her wife, to take what I have done and take it a step further."

This time it was you who is bawling; Wanda goes to hug you, and she whispers into your ear, "I'm so, so proud of you." Which only makes you want to cry more, but you pull away and take a labored breath as Wanda cleaned up your face.

All of the main avengers and people in your lives have gone except for Steve, who is finishing up.

Steve hands the mic to Wanda and walks to you and Natasha to "hug" y'all, but in reality he is actually slipping yet another polaroid into Nat's hand.

She rolls her teary eyes at him and you both, and takes a glance at it before having to look away knowing her erection will just come back.

You smirk at her and say, "Ooh that one was fun, but you'll like the next one even more."

She groans and says, "There's more?"

You giggle softly and say, "Why of course there is more my love."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda decided to add a little fun into the night and do the who knows them better game. What you do is you sit on a chair and Natasha sits with her back to you and you both have a shoe that represents one or the other, and whoever did the thing first you raise that shoe to see if you know each other.

So, Wanda starts with the first question on the list she made, "Who said 'I love you' first?" Both of you raise your shoe and they all 'aww'

Wanda passes the mic to Tony who asks, "Who is the clingiest."

The crowd is surprised when both of you raise Natasha's shoe. The mic is passed to Yelena who says, "Which of you is the most romantic."

This time, Natasha raises your shoe, and you raise hers, which makes everyone giggle a bit. The game continues to entertain the crowd, and Kate has the last question, "Who loves Halloween more?"

This one is tough since you both love Halloween so much, but you ultimately decide on Natasha, and Natasha puts up both shoes to signify it being a tie.

The game is finished now, and you both tell Kate, that the Halloween one was probably the hardest to choose. Though, you know it is about to be Natasha.

Kate laughs and hugs Nat and pats the next picture into Natasha's chest before walking away casually. Natasha's face heats up at the mere thought of your next image and she secretly takes a look at this one.

This Picture has her jaw on the floor. She loves the scream movies entirely too much, and the image of you in a sexy cosplay is seemingly never going to leave her mind. She can feel her cock spring back to life, and it almost hurts at how hard she is.

Natasha seems to snap and can't take it anymore, so she grabs your hand and starts taking you to the bathroom without trying to raise too much suspicion which is exactly what you knew would happen, so you look over at Carol and nod your head to begin her mission.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nat pulls you into the hallway and can't even make it to the bathroom before she has her lips on yours. You kiss her back softly but push her away before she can go too far. "Natty baby, what do you think you're doing?"

She tries to kiss you again, but you push her off of you again, "Detka, I don't think I can make it much longer."

You fake pout and say, "But you promised! You pinky promised me we wouldn't leave early."

She stomps her foot throwing a bit of a tantrum and says, "I promised before I knew you were pulling this shit!"

You smirk and say, "Come on baby, only thirty more minutes, you can make it. Just think, if you wait, the reward is going to be so much better, yes?"

She grumbles under her breath and Carol comes in right on queue saying, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything ladies."

Both of you shake your heads and Carol comes by to say, "Y/n, Wanda is looking for you."

You smile at her and thank her before kissing Nat on the cheek and leaving swiftly. Natasha and Carol stay behind and chat a bit. "You knew about this bullshit?"

Carol smirks and says, "What bullshit?"

Natasha groans and then Carol says, "Of course I am in on the bullshit, I hope you like this one." She pats Natasha's shoulder and then says, "Oh, lighten up, at least you have something to look forward to when you leave tonight.

Natasha already has her hand out ready for the next picture of you and Carol carefully puts it into her hand before swiftly exiting the hallway.

After Natasha sees this one, she thinks she might burst. She can't help but stare right into the eyes of the most beautiful person in all the multiverses. But she also stares at your body as well.

A thought pops into her mind and she thinks, the bathroom is right there and I still have a few minutes...

but ultimately she shakes her head knowing that if you found out she jerked off before your honeymoon, you'd surely not let her cum the rest of the time, so she walks back into the reception.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most of the people have left by now, only a few stragglers, the avengers, and close family are left. You both decided to keep the drinking on the low for this night, not wanting any unplanned things to happen.

Both of you are very big on consent, and the fact that you can't consent when under the influence. You also both know that you want to remember tonight in a good way.

You're having a few slow dances with some of your friends and Wanda is the last one before the last dance with you and Natasha. Wanda spins you around one last time as the song closes out, and Nat is waiting for you to be handed over to her.

Wanda smiles at Natasha and goes to hug her, while they are having a sweet moment together, she smirks and says, "I hope you're ready for this one, I had so much fun taking these pictures."

Nat rolls her eyes and lets Wanda slide the last photo into her hand, but not before saying , "So you're the side hoe?"

Wanda giggles and nods her head, "Did you expect any less?"

Natasha sighs and shakes her head, "I'm glad it was you and not some random person."

Wanda smiles and nods her head saying, "She definitely saved the best for last."

Raising her eyebrows suggestively at Nat while she walks off, you walk up to Nat and hold out your hand saying, "You ready for our last dance?"

"Oh, I'm more than ready, just let me see this last one."

Natasha almost can't tear her eyes away from this one, she is immediately painfully hard, and you have to take the polaroid and put it into her pocket yourself saying, "Natty, people are watching, we have to dance one last song so we can leave."

Nat nods her head and stars slow dancing with you, but you know exactly what to do. You rest your head on her shoulder and make your bodies slightly uneven so that your thigh/hip area is slightly pressing into Natasha's hard on, making her whimper into your ear.

You can't deny it, you're incredibly wet right now, but Natasha has had a much longer night than you, and you're only going to make it seem longer. You lean close to her ear and whisper softly. To everyone left, it looks like you're just saying something cute to her, but you know better. "Baby, when we leave, we are not having sex in the limo. It is our wedding night, and I don't care how hard you are, we are waiting the ten-minute car drive, got it?"

The way you speak is so soft and tender, yet it is firm and leaves no room for complaints. So Nat lets out a soft whine, but she ultimately nods her head and says, "Okay."

You smile and continue to feed words into her mind, "You're so hot, it's hard to not just jerk you off right here baby. I swear when we get home, I'm letting you do whatever you want to me."

Natasha's knees almost give out, but she somehow manages to keep dancing with you, and you both spin each other around. You two have a sweet moment again, temporarily ignoring your hunger for each other, dancing around the floor until the end of the song where you start waving goodbye to everyone and you head off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ride to the villa you're both staying at before your flight tomorrow to your honeymoon destination is full of teasing and groping. You start massaging Nat's cock through her dress, and she moans softly and whispers at you with pleading eyes, "Detka, I- I thought you said no sex in the limo?"

You smirk and say, "I said no sex. I didn't say I wouldn't touch you, but I guess if that's what you want."

You take your hand off of her with a knowing smirk. She widens her eyes and huffs at you, "I don't know which is worse, you touching me, or not touching me."

You chuckle at her and shrug your shoulders, "You wanted to play by the rules. I don't make them, but I do listen to you... sometimes."

Nat snorts at your quip and you guys laugh a little, being a cute couple. Then, the limo pulls into the beautiful villa where all your things were previously put for your weeklong honeymoon, and you nod your head at Happy, who in turn, smiles and says, "Have fun! Wear protection!!"

Both of you laughing at him, and Nat starts puling you toward the door. You open the door and go to walk in, but Nat's hand pulling you backward makes you fall into her. "Nat what are you doing?"

She smiles and picks you up bridal style, and carries you carefully inside, closing the door softly before setting you down and she abruptly shoves you against the door, her lips immediately on yours. "You don't know how bad I need you right now dorogoy."

You smile into the kiss letting her have a moment of dominance before you take it back. "Come on dear, let's go upstairs and get these damn dresses off."

You both carefully undress with each other's help, soft touches here and there, before hanging up your dresses knowing you'll be too tired to do so later.

All Natasha can do is stare at your body, the white lingerie making the experience even better. You grab her face to make her give you her attention, and you give her a dominating stare and a contrasting soft toned voice, "Be a good girl and lie down on the bed please baby."

She quickly leaves your hold as you go to the closet and grab the things you set out for her. She usually takes charge, but sometimes you like to have your fun. This special occasion has you feeling dominant.

You saunter over to her with a set of ropes and a new toy she has never seen before. She furrows her eyebrows before you shush her, reminding her not to worry, your tone taking a temporary softness. "Alright dear, you know we have safe words. I know they were originally set up for me, but you know that you can use them too right?"

She softly nods her head at you with excitement coursing through her veins at the thought of what you could do to her.

You smile softly, running your fingers softly along her torso. "Can you remind me what they are, so I know you remember?"

She nods her head and recalls your safe word system. "Red is stop completely, yellow is slow down or need a break, and green is go."

You nod at her softly and say, "Good job dear, now can you tell me a color?"

She smiles softly and says, "Green. So, very green."

You chuckle softly tilting your head back and say, "Okay, I'm gonna tie you up now, is that alright?"

She nods her head with quick, "yes" to follow.

You sit just below her hard cock while tying her arms to the bed, knowing she is staring at how close you are. You lean forward a bit and bump it softly on accident, but ignore it otherwise.

Once you're done tying her arms up you move to her legs and start explaining what you're going to do. "I got a new toy just for you tonight, I know you've already seen it, aren't you excited?"

She nods but softly says, "What is it?"

You finish tying her leg and look up at her with a devious look in your eyes. "You're going to find out soon, but first..." You crawl up to her member sticking up so high, and you smirk with your lips so close to it, "I have to get you ready."

You lean down and softly lick her tip, knowing she likes that, and then you slowly take her whole length in your mouth. Gagging at how far back she reaches, which in turn, makes her twitch in your mouth. You bob your head on her for a bit longer before pulling away. A string of saliva and precum goes from your lips to her tip and she whines. You slap her thigh and harshly say, "Quit your bitching, I've barely started and you're all needy for me."

She goes to defend herself, "But you were teasing me all night.'"

You glare at her and say, "oh yeah? If you want me to stop teasing you, then i suggest you listen and stop whining."

She nods her head almost letting a whimper out, but she composes herself while you reach behind you to grab the new toy you mentioned. "Natty, I got you this, it's gonna make you feel so good."

You hold up a fleshlight and she widens her eyes knowing it will feel good. You start to rub her prepared cock onto the opening and say, "Are you okay with this darling? Do you want me to make you feel good?"

She nods her head but quickly corrects herself with a "yes ma'am" when she sees your eyes.

You slide the fake pussy over her shaft and she tightens her fists as she feels the tightness overwhelm her. Moans start pouring out of her when you start sliding it up and down with a slow pace that picks up quickly.

After only three minutes of silent torture, she feels the knot in her about to explode and she says, "Y/n please, can I cum?"

You look at her with an evil smile knowing this is exactly where you wanted her. "Oh baby, is this making you feel good? You need to cum so fast?"

She nods her head aggressively and you almost groan at how submissive she looks right now. "Oh, does this make you feel so good? Better than me?"

She widens her eyes knowing she is in a trap now. Your hand still moving the toy up and down her dick. "N-no! Y-you."

You cut her off mocking her, "y- y- you what? You want to cum so badly because the toy is making you feel better than your wife ever could?"

Her hips jerk when she hears you say 'wife' and she moans out a no, but you're relentless, slowing down the toy to make the pleasure unbearable, knowing this slow pace won't make her cum.

You lean close her her and say, "If you want to cum so bad then do it, but remember, if you cum now, you won't get to cum in my pretty little pussy for the rest of the week."

Tears prick in her eyes at the thought of going a whole week without being able to feel you around her and she says, "No! Please no! I need you!"

You smirk and say, "Then don't cum until I say you can slut."

You pick up the pace again making her moan and jerk her hips, you know she can only last so long without exploding, but you're testing her limits tonight. She suddenly gets another overwhelming urge to cum again so she is trying to do anything to get you to let her or stop. Words start flowing out of her mouth desperate for either a release or a break, "Please! I need to cum so bad! I'm begging you. Please mommy! I've been so good, I just want to cum!"

You frown and slow down a bit while tucking some of her sweaty hair behind her ear, knowing that Natasha only calls you mommy when she is feeling really submissive, so you check on her a bit, her whining at the pace decreasing, "I know darling, I just need you to honestly give me a color."

She quickly blurts out, "Green! Please mommy!"

You smile at her confirmation, and pick up the pace once again, "Oh baby, mommy is just making you feel so good right now, isn't she?"

Natasha nods her head but lets out a yelp when you slap her thigh, "Wring answer. It's this toy making you feel good. You love the thought of fucking this thing. You're just such a dumb little slut because you want to cum so bad into it. It's like you have your big cock in another girl's pussy. You want that? You want your dick in another girl and not your wife?"

She shakes her head again, words spewing out of her at a thousand words per minute "No mommy! please I need you! I need your pussy so bad! I'm so close!"

You glare at her and pump harder slightly squeezing the fleshy toy when you see some precum leak out the hole in the top so that she feels it tighter. "Then you're going to hold it like a good girl. I know you can make it a little longer baby."

She finally lets tears fall from her eyes at the pain of having to hold back to listen to you, but after a little bit you soften up and decide to swiftly pull the toy off of her, which in turn makes her raise her voice at you crying for stimulation, "No mommy! Please not again! I can't take it! I can't!"

You hush her getting into position slightly hovering over her red-hot dick. "Shh shh honey, I know I know, Mommy's right here baby, she just needs to adjust to you really quickly and then we'll keep going alright?"

You sigh as you take her whole length into your pussy, Nat whines and her hips jerk involuntarily, making you moan softly. You lean down to kiss her softly and then start bouncing up and down making a lewd noise come from Natashas throat. You chuckle and say, "You like that baby? Is it better than the toy? Come on don't be shy now, tell me baby."

She nods her head, trying to find the words in her mushy brain, "Yes mommy," she huffs out with an exasperated breath, "I love you so much detka, you're so much better than the toy, I only want to make you happy."

You pout at the fact that even though she's so terribly desperate for you, she still wants the best for you. You also notice the lack of the word 'mommy' and it instead being replaced with 'detka' indicating that she is slightly more in control and less submissive now.

You continue to bounce and thrust you hips into hers which makes moans rip out of the both of you. You can feel Nat twitching inside of you a clear indicator that she wants to come so quickly, her last orgasm having been torn from her grasp. You tilt her head down from it's thrown back position to have her look at you. The look of pure love and need in her eyes making you swoon. "Hey darling, you're doing so good for me, I'm gonna keep going, okay? You can cum inside me at any time."

She pouts at your tone, and says, "Can you please be rough with me? I liked it."

You smirk at her confession, you became tender when you thought she was done with it, but apparently, she still has some in her. So, you nod your head and whisper seductively, "Okay, if you want rough then you're gonna have to beg me to cum."

Excitement reinstalls in her features as you start to almost jump up and down on her cock, and she groans saying, "i can't hold it much longer, please let me cum!"

You moan when she hits a spot in you, honestly, you're quite impressed with how long she's made it. You're already close which means she made it at least double if not triple the time you thought she would. So you smirk down at her and shake your head. "Not good enough baby, you've got to do better than that

Your words being broken up since you've started moaning so much. She goes to beg again but you untie her quickly and keep talking, "Touch my clit baby, be a good girl and help me out please."

She immediately starts rubbing circles on your clit, ignoring her sore wrists, bringing you to the brink, which makes you clench down on Nat. This sensation makes her stutter, but she persists, determined to make you proud. "Please, I- you- ugh... You feel so good squeezing me; I feel like I'm gonna explode."

You nod your head to let her continue, "You're so fucking tight and warm, nothing could compare to you. Nothing, nobody could make me feel as good as my wife can."

This makes you clench extra hard and a guttural moan slips past your lips which sets Natasha off. She empties her seed into you, and this triggers your orgasm. All you hear is a weak, "I'm coming" fall past her lips and you feel her ejaculate into your pussy.

The feeling of euphoria surrounds the both of you as you both ride out your highs. Eventually you slip off of her, falling beside her trying to catch your breath.

Natasha, however, is so blissed out that you come back to earth and untie her before she can even see or think again. The first thing she says is, "Wow, just wow."

You giggle and cuddle up next to her saying, "You did so good for me baby, I'm so proud of you."

She smiles and turns on her side saying, "Thank you baby."

You smile as she leans in to kiss you. After sharing a soft kiss, she tries to deepen it, and moves to get on top of you, but you softly push her away saying, "You don't have to do another round baby, I pushed a lot of your limits today."

She sits up and glares at you saying, "It's our wedding night, not just mine. So, of course I'm going to take care of you baby. You must be crazy to think otherwise. I'm not just going to let you sleep without coming."

You giggle at her and she quirks a brow at you saying, "What's so funny huh?"

You smile and say, "I guess you were so out of it that you didn't even notice."

She frowns and says, "Notice what?"

You smile giving her a soft peck on the cheek, "Natty, I already did cum. In fact, I came so hard that I even squirted a bit onto you."

You point down at her abdomen which does, in fact, have your essence all over it. This realization making her blush, "Oh... I guess I was really out of it huh?"

You laugh at her timidness and say, "I don't know about you, but I can't walk..."

She smiles and gets up to go clean herself before coming back with a washcloth to clean you as well. Her tender hand making sure to not hurt you or make you uncomfortable from being so sensitive. Then she comes back to cuddle with you on her chest, and you whisper into her ear, "You did really impress me tonight, you know?"

She smiles and sighs, "Really? How so?"

You look into her eyes and say, "You lasted way longer than I expected you to, especially after the whole night of teasing."

She smirks and says, "Maybe I've leveled up since I have a wife now..."

This time it is your turn to blush, and say, "I guess that could be true."

She smiles as she settles into an almost sleep state, "Yeah, definitely true. My wife makes me a better person, in every way. I love you."

You smile and whisper an 'I love you too' back to her only to find that she is already asleep. Before you drift off to dream land you smile softly, thinking about her words.

"My wife."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Holy shit indeed. this thing took forever. I actually have no idea how long it is or how many words but I do know that I am done with this finally T-T... College is kicking my butt already, so I'm sorry if I post less. Please tell me what you thought of this! it makes my day to see people liked my work.

Masterlist

Taglist

@ilovesnat @ihartnat @marvelnatasha12346 @moistblobfish @justarandomreaderxoxo @lovelyy-moonlight @symp4nat @ale-estrabao

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist!!! I hope you had a good time reading :3

[othercrossee]

Feeling rebellious, ordering cheese tea at 8pm sorry employees at the cheese tea company

[moonlight-prose]

FIRST LOVE IN THE LATE SPRING AIR

a/n: guess who is back on her joel miller shit again. i had the image of young joel possibly in love and just starting out and had to run with it. after not writing for him for some time, i really did miss this grumpy man. i do have a few fics in the works for him so hopefully this fixation lasts some time. this is an unedited jumble of words so enjoy! divider by the incredible @saradika-graphics.

summary: in the late spring air with summer setting like the sun, life with joel suddenly becomes clear.

word count: 1.6k+

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

warnings: not explicit, fluff, domesticity, she wrote something without angst y'all, allusions to possibly an apocalypse but not really, mentions of pregnancy (don't worry), joel miller being a fucking softie, they're just so in love it's sick.

His sheets clung to your already warm body, molding to the bare skin that scratched along the wrinkled cheap cotton. You asked why he never bought something better, he claimed he didn’t mind how it felt. Of course, that’s how it usually went. Your questions, answered with sarcasm layered in anguish. He never bought more because he never thought he deserved it.

You ignored it for his sake—never pushing further than necessary; he felt like a stone wall at times, and you were the person searching for his cracks. A place to set your hammer into place and swing.

The sun cast shadows in the darkened room, his curtains pulled away to expose the already open window. He was helping his mom fix the air conditioner; you were sweating beneath his covers. The dichotomy felt wrong—too domestic for you to swallow. Yet you drank it down like cold water straight from the tap, already addicted to the way it chilled your insides and pooled in your stomach.

It never occurred to you that the things you did for love would feel silly in ten years time.

But that was in ten years. And this was now.

“I can feel you,” he mumbled into his crushed pillow squished between his arm and cheek. 

You’d been scooting away from him for the past ten minutes. Not because you desired distance—quite the opposite—you couldn’t fathom the way his skin gave off heat. He was a fire waiting to burn you, singe the hair on your arm and beg for more to consume. You were merely asking for reprieve from the suffocating way he felt atop you in the middle of the night.

Spring in Texas was promised to be cool. Sunny air, bright dispositions, and weather you’d find in a luxury brand’s catalog. The kind his mother kept around for you when they arrived in the mail. Yet as soon as May set in, welcoming humanity with open arms and blooming flowers, the heat shoved its way forward. Settling into the air with a vengeance. A promise that you’d suffer through the next few months until you felt defeated enough to beg for winter.

“It’s hot,” you whined, shoving the thin gray sheet off your body. “I need a cold shower.”

“Mm.” His arm slid beneath the covers, tanned skin and already rough fingers reaching out to find you. “Sounds like a good idea.”

You bit back your smile and scooched even closer to the edge of the mattress—your leg halfway off and nearly to the floor. “I meant for me.”

The mess of rumpled brown hair shot up from his pillow, hazy brown eyes catching you in the snare of their web. “You’d leave me outta that?”

“Joel—”

“Cold water and you naked?” He shook his head, flipping onto his back and sitting up before you could get both feet on the floor. “Sorry darlin’. Ain’t happenin’.”

“You’ll distract me.”

He smiled all lazy and warm. Enough to have you considering your chances of braving the overheated bed sheets that still clung to your thigh. Joel in the morning wasn’t a sight to forget so quickly. He looked like he’d been dragged from sleep roughly, as if he’d rather spend hours more in the unconscious state than out with the real world. But when he gazed at you like this—eyes glassy with sleep and lips curled into a soft smile—you finally understood why people died for the ones they love.

“That’s the point.”

How could you argue? When he practically pleaded with you through his gaze alone. His hand grabbed ahold of your upper thigh, fingers digging into the warm flesh in order to yank you closer. Fighting his strength was no use when you were lazy with sleep yourself. Still halfway past the waking point and a dreamland that housed an image of a man who looked oddly like Joel.

Just a few years older.

“What time do you work today?”

He grunted. Awake enough to comprehend you naked, but still far too delirious to realize he’d have to be up in an hour to make it on time. He slept less than he wanted, but on days where the sun was warm and spring beckoned life forward, he didn’t mind so much.

Tommy being away didn’t help the loneliness that had settled on his shoulders within the past few months. His younger brother—the troublemaker. More fuckin’ trouble than he’s worth. Were words Joel was spouting two months ago the night before Tommy’s leave; you caught the pain in his eyes, the dull emptiness that chewed away in his chest.

Despite the multiple jests and bickered words that never quite stuck like they used to—now that they both knew there’d be no time to make up with cheap beer snuck into the backyard and cigarettes Joel claimed weren’t his—Joel would miss his brother.

“Two hours,” he mumbled, rubbing the heel of his hand into his eye.

“Then go back to sleep.”

His gaze narrowed. “You’re gonna have to get back in.”

“Why?” You rolled your eyes, already reaching for his t-shirt tossed to the side last night when silence gave way to heady looks and soft promises beneath the light of the moon.

“Can’t sleep when you’re not here,” he huffed, falling back into the mess of sheets. “Need to feel you.”

An ache pricked at your heart, barely a nick in the fleshy organ, but you knew you’d feel it in a year's time. When life looked different. When life shined a bit brighter and Joel finally started up his business. When those promises came with a feasible future.

Wordlessly, you climbed back underneath the too warm sheet that immediately settled over you like a muggy cloud. But Joel’s hands sliding around your waist, tugging you closer, appeased whatever discomfort that attempted to push through. As if his touch was a promise of protection against the weather’s strange antics. A warning to be careful not to fall in too deeply. Lest you wind up left with a broken barely beating heart and a hollow space where he once occupied.

“What are you doin’ today?” he breathed, his leg sliding between yours, ankle hooking around the back of your calf.

Your hands found their way into the tendrils of his hair that stuck up in the back—curling with the heat. “The diner opens at ten.”

He hummed. “I’ll be there for breakfast.”

“Mr. Miller, what on Earth will people think of us?”

“That you’re my fuckin’ girl.” His eyes fluttered open, lashes longer than yours yet still dainty against his face. “Besides. We always have breakfast together.”

You hummed, bliss soaring in your heart as you shifted closer. Life with Joel must resemble this. Simplicity in such a small bubble of privacy you already created together. Mornings filled with coffee over a shared newspaper, lunch on the phone, dinner in a kitchen that always needed cleaning. Nights on the couch until one (or both) of you fell asleep, until Joel eventually woke, leading you to the mattress that would engulf your hopes and dreams with open arms.

The promise of domesticity with the knowledge that it would always be more.

“I have a question,” you whispered.

“Uh oh.”

An audible groan echoed in the room when your elbow met his stomach lightly. “It’s not a bad one.”

“Then shoot darlin’.”

“Romantic. Cowboy,” you scoffed. “What’s our life gonna be like in five years?”

He stilled. The hand sliding gently along your hip in soothing motions suddenly a heavy press against your waist. And you could feel the weight in your chest begin to sink like an anchor, settling in your stomach with force. Lead, cannonballs, the pain of intestines twisting and twining. It all hit you like a hurricane rushing to the shore, wiping clean every bit of life in its path. There was no swimming away from it, no catching the path of the torrential waves that sucked you under.

You could only wait, breaths measured and heart racing, as he processed your words.

“Got somethin’ to tell me honey?”

The gravity in his eyes nearly floored you—his meaning slamming into you with enough fervor to make you lose your breath. “No! Fuck. No, no, no, no—”

The solemn way he watched you never wavered, even as you breathed a laugh in the hopes of moving on quickly. “Definitely not that.” You sucked in a breath, lighter than before. “I just meant…what will we be in five years?”

His lips twitched, hand sliding even lower in order to cup your ass. “Hopefully that.”

“Joel—”

“I love you darlin’.” Something familiar—warm like the soothing balm of the sun caressing your skin in the afternoon—bloomed in your chest. Enough to make you nearly tear up. “That ain’t gonna change in one year or five or ten or even twenty.”

“Yeah?” you murmured, curling in so close your lips brushed his. “You sure you won’t get sick of me?”

He huffed, lips capturing yours briefly as his eyes slid closed. “Can’t get sick of somethin’ I’m addicted to.”

You laughed into the kiss, eyes daring a glimpse at his serene expression. “I’ll hold you to that in twenty years Miller.”

“Good.” His face dug into the crook of your neck, body wrapped around yours. “Means you’ll be around.”

The sheet lay above your heads, forming a haven you had no desire to leave. A space that breathed whispers of a future you could finally form a picture of. What once existed in a dreamscape you often habited on nights spent grasping for more than simply one spring and summer, now turned physical. Slowly shaping that malleable past that led you to right here.

[rulerzreachf4n7]

I'm sorry but I fucking hate proshippers so much so here's a whole post dedicated to shitting on them

also disclaimer YES I will be tagging the proship and anti proship tags so I can piss off the chronically online basement dwelling idiots :) and idgaf if proshippers have trauma cause it's not an excuse for their shitty and problematic actions!!!! Sincerely if you are a proshipper please consider jumping off a bridge!! Or at the bare minimum take a shower cause ew

And this whole post is literally just bullying the FUCK outta them so idk stanky people come at your own risk lol

AND AGAIN to clear up this isn't like rage bait or smth cause I fell like some people will accuse me this is all my genuine hate into a long ass post so yeah

Okay...LETS GET INTO THE FUCKING RANT NOW HEHEHE HEHE HEHEHE!!!!

I FUCKING HATE PROSHIPPERS!!!! I HOPE ALL OF YOU STANKY ASS BITCHESS GET THROWN OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND GET A SAW STYLE EXECUTION CAUSE Y'ALL ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING I HATE YOU ALL

YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL IF YOU ARE A PROSHIPPER, END OF CONVERSATION

I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU HIT ME THE "B-But I have trauma 🥺🥺🥺" TOO BAD THAT'S NOT A FUCKING EXCUSE FOR UR SHITTY ONLINE ACTIONS

IMAGINE YOU PULL UP TO A FUCKING INTERVIEW AND THEY SHOW YOUR PATHETIC ACCOUNTS SAYING TO NORMALIZE A 30 YEAR OLD DATING A 13 YEAR OLD, THAT SHIT IS GENUINELY PATHETIC

I KNOW IT'S CRINGEY BUT WOMP WOMP IF UR A PROSHIPPER Y'ALL ARE UGLY AND STINKY

But now on a serious not hehe, the reason I'm making this isn't JUST soley to yknow shit on people who are mentally ill like people who think a MINOR and a LEGAL ADULT are allowed to date, which comes into another thing before I get genuine so bare with me lol

I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF IT'S FICTIONAL, FOR THE LOVE GOD PLEASE SEARCH UP THE SLENDERMAN CASE WHERE THESE TWO GIRLS KILLED THEIR FRIEND CAUSE THEY THOUGHT SLENDERMAN WAS REAL AND THOUGHT THEY WOULD ENTER HIS KINGDOM AND BE WITH HIM, AND HE'S FICTIONAL, THAT CASE IS ALL Y'ALL NEED TO REALIZE FICTION CAN AFFECT REALITY AND I HAVE SM MORE REASON TO BACK THIS UP BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO TYPE IT OUT 😭

Okay! Back to seriousness I just thought I'd add that in as a little addition hehe >_<

So, like I said before, I lowkey just added this as an extra part cause I couldn't shit on proshippers FOREVER (lowkey bcuz I was running out of insults n threats lol)

Nonetheless I have a reason for shitting on them, although not being a proshipper EXACTLY I have been through I guess, similar paths as they have? Best way I could describe it ig, ofc not sharing what I mean since it's private but let's just say I was an unfortunate child looking at inappropriate comics 🙁

The reason for this part of the post...ITS NOT THAT FUCKING HARD TO STOP WHAT YOUR DOING

Like I said, I was never a proshipper, but I have been in similar situations as they have been, although I've never made an account glorifying rape, SA, grooming, pedophilia, I can just assume what I would do in their places

Dear proshippers,

Your probably complaining and not knowing why your getting so much death threats and harassment along with a side of hate (rightfully so you deserve them) and your mental health might be low

Please know it is your fault for making your accounts in the first place, you are a terrible person for saying all of these things such as rape, sexual assault, grooming, and incest are okay and you are not mentally well

And your probably wondering,

"How do I stop the hate, harassment, and probably death threats with even getting your address leaked?"

It's simple, DELETE YOUR FUCKING ACCOUNT, or even worse just turn off ur comments but that won't help with people slipping in a few people wishing death up in you through DMS

IT IS GENUINELY NOT THAT FUCKING HARD

I don't know what trauma you have but it shouldn't (and never in the first place) be SO BAD to the point where you physically CANNOT deactivate your account, IT IS SO FUCKING EASY AND YOU'LL SAVE YOURSELF A FEW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

I know everyone one is different, but if you are a proshipper that has trauma, you shouldn't have a fucking account to begin with, and you ARE THE PROBLEM if you acknowledge the trauma, noticing you keep supporting and glorifying problematic actions, complain that you keep getting harassed and wonder why, and you just don't give a shit, not like in a "oh I don't know what to do anymore!!! 🥺🥺🥺" way, in a "oh, I don't give a shit I live for incest and adults grooming children!!!" Way, and ur also probably a pedo if ur an adult proshipper too

So, what else? Yeah, there's a shit more, but onto a better side, ones with actually good coping mechanisms!!

And a bit of a disclaimer, if your rage bait is proshipping, genuinely fuck you, and if ur a proshipper who acknowledges everything bad about it and just doesn't give a fuck, fuck you too and seek a rope to hang around your neck you fucking pedophile

Okay, coping mechanisms! I know this is probably not the best option due to most trauma which I'm guessing is probably from a family member, if it's not a good way to cope is some clean to your family, ofc under some circumstances it's NOT the best option, but if you can you definitely should try!

Also google is free yk...literally search up healthy coping mechanisms and it'll give you a huge ass list, and yet YOU STILL chose to ship a minor and adult together...how unfortunate...

Another way to cope is, and genuinely sounds pathetic as hell but bare with me...CHARACTER FUCKING AI, I mean, there are therapist bots so maybe they can help you??? And in all honesty they're really good at comforting and giving advice despite being ai, and I've tried it before...yeah embarrassed to say I've shed a tear every once in a while

And the last one IF you have the money, time, and generally the courage, book a threapy session, I cannot stress it enough, but I won't be surprised cause every proshipper is probably under the age of 16 years old

Yuhhh anyways that's all I gotta say, I know it's cringey asf but womp womp to proshippers I hate y'all despite giving some coping mechanisms and ACTUAL ways to like, stop the rightful hate you deserve lol

[ryo-apologist]

Racer! Link

Racer! Link x Reader

CW: Smut, Minors DNI, I will block your ass, author knows nothing about racing and it shows

AN: Yes, this is about that Link. The one with the elf ears, says "Hyah!". Yeah I'm a Linked Universe Nerd. Sucks to be y'all. Keep ya guessing on which fandom has my balls this week.

~Darling XOXO

☾ So, I hesitated writing this for a number of reasons, but I decided I don't care. Hozier has a new song, April has me face down in the mattress with how hard it's fucked me and I just want to write about a Link near and and dear to my heart.

☾ Mario Kart Link.

☾ He's just a silly lil goober who's always having a good time. Especially when I play as him because what is second place? He'll never know.

☾ I know, canonically, both are Skyward Sword! Link and Breath of the Wild! Link. I do not care.

☾ Because come with me, sinner, as we explore a whole new world. A world where Mario Kart isn't a silly lil game. It's an empire.

☾ Like Fast and the Furious (I think, idk I never watched any of them). OR like sk8 the infinity at S. I do know that one.

☾ There are real things at stake here. It's intense, and it's heavy.

☾ Here, give me a break while I do some worldbuilding here. Mystery blocks are still a thing, they work by magic idk, except getting hit by one of those things is devastating. It's why the newcomers don't last long.

☾ All the main screen players (Mario, Luigi, Bowser, Inkling boy, etc.) are high level racers. They are A-listed and the ones you look out for if you see them in the lineup.

☾ Including Link himself. He drives a motorcycle he named Epona, which he built himself from scratch.

☾ I spent a lot of time (three minutes) trying to figure out a clever nickname for him, and then I saw some of the names other people gave their Linksona's and, while there's nothing wrong with them, I quickly realized I was overthinking things.

☾ It's mostly a stage name, his name is Link and outside of the raceway, he goes by it.

☾ But, for shits and giggles, and point of discerning him from the others, I don't care. Call him ratchet, greaser, racer, cypher, tank, axel, sparks. I'm giving you all the freedom! Me? Personally? I'm going to call him:

☾ Neo- a combining form meaning “new,” “recent,” “revived,” “modified,”

☾ Great I gave you some background, let's get into the fun parts.

☾ Neo, where do we begin with you.

☾ Have y'all read A Court of Mist and Fury? You know Rhysand?

☾ He's Cassian coded.

☾ LMAO You thought.

☾ He's a fun, kind-of guy but when shit gets real, he can shift from zero to a hundred like that.

☾ He'll be laughing with a newbie, patting them on the shoulder, but the second that visor comes down, he's unrecognizable. He's an A-lister for a reason.

☾ He's infamous for taking shortcuts that are insanely dangerous. He's almost always bandaged somewhere, but not his pretty boy, play bunny face.

☾ So Cassian and Lightning McQueen.

☾ He's totally the kind to shoot a wink and a flirty wave, spend the night and then be gone by morning. Or have them escorted out by his Zelda in the morning, Tony Stark style

☾ He's a slut.

☾ Can you tell I like my men slutty?

☾ And he's such a....character in bed.

☾ He's a selfish lover, but make no mistake about it. His partner gets their end. That's right. I said lover. He's fucked bowser.

☾ I'm kidding

☾ No I'm not.

☾ He doesn't care who's in his bed. Man, woman, the funky others who say FUCK YOU to the gender spectrum /pos

☾ He'll bottom, top, switch it up mid-way through. He just like me fr.

☾But he's not lazy. Selfish, yes, but lazy? No. He's the best rider both on and off Epona, yk yk.

☾ And he has such a pretty cock too. A pretty flushed pink, circumcised with such a lovely vein running up the bottom of it. And while pretty, sorry his balls aren't much to write home about.

☾ They are dangerously sensitive though. Suck on them and run your thumb along the head of his dick and he'll whimper.

☾ SPEAKING OF-

☾ He whimpers so nicely. God, when he's in the middle of bouncing up and down on you (artificial or organic both are good), and his own hands are running up his chest, plucking at his own pebbled nipples and playing with the piercings as his head is thrown back in pure bliss-

☾ He's probably sponsored by Monster Energy

☾ Has a sugar daddy FOR SURE. God wish I was HIM.

[mauesartetc]

Thoughts on Helluva Boss 205 ("Unhappy Campers")

Wow, this... This one may actually be worse than Murder Family. That's impressive.

Is anyone else noticing a pattern of Helluva Boss episodes going absolutely nowhere? Each one ends without affecting the larger plot in any meaningful way. Season 1's structure was fairly episodic as well, but at least back then there was some sense of progression.

I usually include separate lists of pros and cons in these critiques, but in this case, I have so few compliments to give this thing it's not worth it. I tried my best to find more to like about this episode, but it gave me bupkis to work with. So I'll just present all my notes in chronological order.

Let's get this over with.

-Looks like the rehab facility where Barb used to live is located in Sloth (on account of the floating islands and all the pink in the environment), just like the hospital in this season's previous episode. We've never seen care centers in any other ring, so... Does Hell society's opinion of sick people dictate that they're just lazy? Some clarification on that might be nice.

-"She's got a job now. A life. Don't fuck it up by findin' her." Holy shit, the nurse is the most mature, sympathetic character in this entire episode. Tasing Blitzo in the butthole earns her bonus points in my book. Nurse Pussyface, you are way too good for this show.

-Why is Blitzo even trying to visit his sister if he's been kicked out of the facility several times and knows she hates him? What's the impetus? "Look, I know you hate my guts, but Dad's dead, and he named you in the will." Or maybe he had an experience that reminded him of her and figured he'd drop by to see how she was? Y'know, something.

-By the way, Helluva's animation is usually a highlight, but here there's not much to say about it. It wasn't especially memorable or ambitious; just kinda... passable. Even the climactic fight scene (which I'll get to later) didn't have much to write home about.

-How the hell didn't the client notice the holes in his boat before he rowed it out into deep water? Because I'm pretty sure it would leak when it was still in the shallow end of the lake, unless this is a unique real-life boating phenomenon I'm not aware of. Also, you'd think this guy was a bit too gung-ho to get out on the lake for someone who can't swim. Did someone have a gun to your head, dude?

Fun fact: Did y'all know I was on staff at a summer camp once? We had a pond, canoes, and a boathouse just like the camp in this episode. One thing we had that this camp apparently doesn't, however, is this important rule: No one gets in a canoe without a life jacket. EVER. But, well... We see later that the adults at this camp don't care much about safety, so I guess that's fair enough. (Though I'm curious how they manage to stay open, or what the client's loved ones have to say about his mysterious disappearance.)

-What did the client do to get sent to Hell after he died? Mrs. Mayberry murdered someone, so that's why she's here, but this kid seems pretty chill-? (And don't even try to explain this on Twitter, writers. If it's not in the story itself, it ain't canon.) I also can't help but notice that his design reflects the way he died, but every other sinner's appearance is just random. Consistency? Who needs it!

-Some unintentional hilarity for ya: Here's Millie's face after the client recounted his death.

And she holds this pose for the remainder of the scene. Was there NO direction on how to animate Millie here?! This is a grim situation and she's smiling?! I get that she's a demon, but damn that is cold. It's never been clearer that half her role in this story is just smiling and looking cute, to the point the animators don't know what else to do with her.

-Richard Horvitz's valley girl voice was kinda funny. I dug it. Not sure why Moxxie and Millie had to dress in drag for anything other than cheap laughs, though.

-I know Millie's hurtin' for more development, but this story's conflict would have made SO much more sense from a character standpoint if Moxxie were getting all the praise from the campers. Think about it: He's the one Blitzo always shits on and doesn't believe in. He's the one whose father doesn't love him. He's the one who never gets positive attention from anyone except his wife. Suddenly the conflict is much more compelling: Now that he has approval from these humans, maybe he doesn't need it from Blitzo anymore (not sure why he needed his approval in the first place, but whatever). Maybe he'd realize what he's been missing, and how shitty Blitzo's treatment has been in comparison. Could this be the breaking point that finally gets him to muster some self-respect and quit IMP? We'll never know, because the episode has miscalculated where the most interesting dilemma actually lies.

As far as we can tell, Millie's had zero reason to doubt herself, and we never see her being mistreated like Moxxie has.

Take these lines of dialogue: "And for once I feel like... Like I'm important! Like I'm somebody to be proud of!"

Wouldn't they fit so much better if they came out of Moxxie's mouth?

-I kinda liked how the lyrics of Millie's song were humble while Moxxie's lyrics were egotistical, showing that being down to earth will win you friends while being self-centered will turn people off. But is that really the kind of message we need in an adult show? It's a useful lesson for children, but after you hit the age of this series' target demographic, most people will have the social skills to know better than to pull what Moxxie did at the campfire.

-Speaking of Moxxie being super immature, why does he weep when a bunch of preteens ignores him? They're...They're kids, Mox. They aren't your peers. Literally who cares. This behavior makes no sense outside of (once again) cheap humor. I could understand being bummed out that you're not good with kids if you wanted to have your own someday, but even that doesn't warrant actual tears. And this makes him look like a massive hypocrite later on when he asks Millie why it matters what "these yokels" feel about her. I mean... You seemed to care a lot about how they saw you, Moxxie...

-Moxxie's excuse for why it's so hard for him to get information on the case is that everyone's too busy "swooning over" Millie. Here's a thought: Why doesn't Millie get the info? She's the one everyone likes, so it should be a snap, right? Well, once again, the characters get railroaded because the writers can't entertain any other plot ideas. And of course Moxxie ends up getting blamed for everything as if he's the only one who fucked up here.

-Why the hell would a summer camp show so much favoritism toward a single camper that they set up a friggin' concert for this camper and this camper only? Yeah yeah, "viral sensation" and everything, but 1) The news crew can wait another day or so for camp to end in order to conduct an interview (y'know, something that wouldn't require a huge-ass stage and pyrotechnics that'd cost the camp boatloads of money), and 2) The camp staff thinks Millie is a child. How fucking irresponsible can you get to lavish this much attention on a kid? Think it'll go to her head or something? Psssh nah. Also, you're telling me none of the other campers are the tiniest bit jealous? How do you think they feel, seeing this one kid get treated like a god while they're left in the dust?

Okay, plot-wise, the writers decided they wanted Millie to sing a song so she's occupied during the final showdown with the killer. Easy solution: Camp talent show. That way, the adults treat all the campers equally, and Millie gets her (more believable) moment in the spotlight.

-Oh hey, we finally see Asmodean crystals in action. And of course the first one we see is a butt plug.

SuCh a MAturE shOw, GUys! (Sorry, I'm still laughing my head off at that.)

So, a bit of backstory for those who aren't familiar: We first learned of Asmodean crystals in the Season 2 premiere, when Stolas opened the grimoire to reveal Norse runes on its pages. Someone on the internet was kind enough to translate:

Now here's the deal: Blitzo tells the lust demon to open the portal with his crystal (even threatening him at gunpoint), leading me to believe only non-imps could use Asmodean crystals and that's why he needed the grimoire to get to the human world.

But guess what happens later:

Blitzo's sister Barb, another imp, uses a crystal on her bracelet to open a portal back to Hell. So what exactly was the point of stealing the grimoire from Stolas??

BLITZO. YOU. DENSE. MOTHERFUCKER.

Okay, maybe I'll be generous and acknowledge that there might be another explanation, like Blitzo getting banned from using Asmodean crystals because he's misused them in the past. (Maybe there's a spell that causes the crystals to burn him every time he tries to hold one. Something of that nature.) But at this point I don't trust these writers to fill in their plot holes. Or plot portals, as the case may be.

-The portals themselves are kinda pretty, though. I can appreciate that they look different from the portals created by the grimoire.

-Moxxie calls Blitzo "sir" in this episode despite Blitzo telling him to use his first name in Truth Seekers. Moxxie then uses it in "Ozzie's" (if I remember correctly), but now he's back to "sir" for unexplained reasons-? Coupled with how their relationship has reverted back to square one with Blitzo learning nothing (as well as no one bringing up the agents or what they can do to stop them leaking the proof that demons exist), do the writers just want us to forget that episode or what?

-Blitzo chastises Moxxie for dragging the case out for a week, but it took him a week to track down Barb. This hypocrisy is never addressed.

-At the boathouse, Blitzo tells Moxxie he's looking for his sister, then kicks down the door, revealing Barb inside. Moxxie asks, "Do you know her?" "Do I know her? That's my sister, fuckface!" That's... oddly repetitive, writers. I get that Moxxie wouldn't immediately make the connection since Barb's disguised as a human, but there's a more graceful way to handle that in the dialogue. Something like, "Is this her?" "Oh, now you're on the ball!"

-In an earlier post I expressed concern that these writers wouldn't handle Barb's addiction well, and I'm somewhat relieved they didn't go into it. But I also predicted she'd amount to a genderbent Blitzo instead of having her own personality, and... well...

Overindulges in addictive substances? Check. Runs a business that requires travel to the human world? Check. Pottymouth? Check. Uses sexuality as leverage? Check.

It would've been nice to at least get a hint about what Blitzo did to make her hate him so much (and perhaps confronting that would make him rethink how he treats Moxxie-?), but I guess we'll have to find out when she comes back in seven episodes or so. Yaaaaay.

-Barb says she picked this particular human as her supplier because teenagers are easy to manipulate, but she really had no way to accomplish that other than flashing her panties at him? Assuming Barb and Blitzo are the same age, she's in her 30s, and... it's just a tad creepy and uncalled for, even if this kid's legal. That's a pretty big age (and power) gap regardless. This is one of those times when it looks a lot more predatory when you switch the genders, but, importantly, women can be predators too. Bad optics, y'all.

-The climactic fight scenes in prior episodes were snappy and exciting, but this one's pacing felt really sluggish. I get that the song in the background had a slower tempo than we're used to in these action scenes, but would it have been so hard to double-time the animation? Also, previous fight scenes were notable for their creative choreography, but Barb wrapped her tail around Moxxie twice in a row. Having trouble coming up with new fight moves, guys? Like damn, she's an acrobat. She could do so much more.

-In another edition of "characters being idiots because plot", Moxxie and Millie make out in front of everyone who thinks they're related. They couldn't have run off to somewhere more private?? Apparently no; this needed to happen so Millie's internet fame would be dashed... or, here's another option: Show how the internet popularity cycle is so damn short that everyone's already moved on to the next sensation. You could have made that funny if you actually put in some effort. Like... The faux-incest was just so unnecessary.

-Much like Murder Family, another unfunny ending where Moxxie's dreams are crushed. Blitzo gets his hopes up only to call him a "fuckin' disgrace". But remember, guys: He'S HArd oN hiM BEcauSE hE CAreS! (Fuck it, I think I'll just edit a supercut of every time Blitzo has berated Moxxie, pre- and post-Truth Seekers.)

Oh and look, Millie's glaring at Blitzo, which is totally the same as opening her mouth to tell him off like he deserves, right?

She'll take on a whole gang of mobsters out of love for Moxxie, but standing up to Blitzo? Whoa, that's a step too far. Y'know, because he's the writers' favorite and he shouldn't have to experience any complications from his behavior. Same old story as it's been for a season and a half.

This ending would've been a million times better if it left off on a cliffhanger. Maybe this could have been Moxxie's final breaking point. After Blitzo calls him a disgrace, Moxxie could take a deep breath and...

MOXXIE: (flatly) I quit.

Then he walks out of the room. Everyone looks after him, stunned. When he closes the door, the screen cuts to black and the credits roll.

Oh shit, what's going to happen next? How will Blitzo deal with this? How will it affect Moxxie and Millie's home life? What kind of new job will Moxxie find to keep food on the table? Will he ever come back to IMP, or will Blitzo find a replacement? I know these writers aren't too interested in serialization or any sense of continuity outside of the stupid romance subplot (or hell, inside it), but good god, it would give viewers some exciting possibilities to look forward to.

This episode had so much potential and followed through on none of it. "Unhappy Campers" turned out to be a more fitting title than expected, as that's exactly what I was while watching this.

(Also this show needs a continuity coordinator like yesterday.)

[arisuworld]

—ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE—

DISCLAIMERS:

1. Strong language (i swear a lot), sarcasm ahead, tough love typa shit. This is meant to be helpful and reassuring but I'm not going to treat y'all like you're made of sugar and talk like I'm from 50 years ago. Deal with it or not.

2. English isn't my first language. So, there can be many grammatical mistakes.

Yes, you read it right. Only you can change your life not your favourite goddess blogger then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING THEM TO MANIFEST FOR YOU? GURLLL REALLY? DO YOU THINK THEY'RE ABOVE YOU? DO YOU THINK YOU'RE LESS OF A GOD JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE NOT ENTERED VOID YET? GURL, you have your whole life ahead you. If you will let some limiting beliefs hold you back from achieving the things you deserve, then that's it. It's done. You're never going to get your desires or desired life and YOU WILL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELVES!!

Now now, do not come for me. I said what I said and I mean it 100%. (And I'll prove it below)

Tell me honestly, why haven't you manifested your desires by now? Why? What's the reason?

— LACK OF PERSISTENCE? LACK OF DISCIPLINE? LACK OF FAITH? OVERCONSUMPTION? PROCRASTINATION? LAZINESS? LACK OF DETERMINATION? INABILITY TO ACCEPT A FAILURE?

So now, who's fault is that? Start taking accountability for your procrastination and lack of persistence. Because if you won't, then you will not be disciplined enough to achieve your desires.

All i want to say is— TIME WON'T STOP FOR YOU! Rather than wasting your time thinking about how others are lucky to enter void at their first try, start affirming and PERSIST IN THEM, BELIEVE IN THEM!! BECAUSE SWEETHEART LISTEN— L I F E G O E S O N ! ! ! STOP WASTING YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS!! AND START WORKING YOUR ASS OFF. and by working, I do not mean to go and start taking action in real life, NO.

1. Make yourself a routine (which is what I'm doing for you right now but anyways). Listen to subliminals or listen to brown, white noise or litteralyyy any music (yes, you can also listen to your favourite song which calms you down). Just anything to calm you down, to relax you, to put you in a good mood.

2. Start AFFIRMING and do not let negative thoughts take over. (Once you start affirming, leave the old story behind because GURRLLL THAT'S NOT YOU ANYMORE!! ALWAYS PERSIST IN THE NEW STORY) You can either do a challenge (like 10k or 20k affirmations) or just affirm robotically for 10 minutes every hour. Saturate your subconscious mind with good and positive affirmations.

3. You can also do the self hypnosis thingy by konniesreality (it's optional)

4. Also, do any meditation or Yoga Nidra at anytime of the day you feel comfortable (It would be better if you do it right before entering void). In my opinion, yoga nidra feels much better (ALSO, DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN ENTER VOID WITH YOGA NIDRA MEDITATION? HEHE) It will clear your mind in minutes. It also relaxes your body. But everyone has different choices, so do whatever feels good for you because that's the major point.

5. At night, set the fucking intention and just go for it.( You can do any method which seems suitable for you) YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!! TRY TO PUT SOME EFFORTS ONCE IN YOUR LIFE GOD'S SAKE. IT CAN IMPROVE YOUR LIFE OVERALL SO MUCH.

I'm rooting for you baby, I know you can do it. You just need a little hard push and that's what I'm here to do. So listen to your desires and most importantly, listen to yourself. You can do this!!

Good luck y'all <3

{Ps : Idk why but i really love making these rude toxic motivational posts I'm sorry 😭}

[let-me-be-an-egg-toast]

me when I'm too lazy to digitalize

i was massively disappointed when they didn't make the hair wings

oh and why were the exterminators so demon-like

More info

Charlie

i wanted to lean more into Charlie's doll like features because I feel like Viv could've used it more

Charlie's face is based off info where demons make themselves look/act friendly in order to lure people to them

The twist is Charlie's luring (unintentionally) people in for good intentions

Her face is supposed to look familiar/common but enough to look kinda unique

The doll theme going on is to make Charlie s bit uncanny; aka how skinwalkers are

She looks fake and hollow, her face looks empty, kind of how someone putting on facade looks like (again referencing demon lore)

dolls just being almost everyone's least favorite thing in general because of how uncanny and creepy they are

The only thing she's hiding is a literal angel

She has her mom's nose

She only has small goat features (two pairs of ears and hooves) because technically the goat symbolism came from the Church demonizing Pan

I think it slightly adds to her symbolism of being like a sheep/lamb (innocent and pure)

the pure/uncanny look symbolizes how she's kind and sweet and other stuff but she's inexperienced (lacking basically) and bites more than she can chew in terms of the hotel

she's scared of the abuse and violations that comes with her power dynamics leading her to not have that much of a spine, which vaggie helps with

2. Vaggie

"why didn't you put a suit on her"

Literally the very person that should've been wearing a suit especially considering the bodyguard thing

I didn't research enough and so past me thought people thought Vaggie was an angel because of her hair

So it turns out I'm just dumb ig 🤡

But that didn't stop me lmao so now she and the other angels have hair wings

In here Charlie KNOWS Vaggie is an angel and is the one who suggested Vaggie to pretend to be a moth demon

i didn't like how the only things that gave away what vaggie truly was is her eye and spear, so I added bird feet and little head wings

Brother y'all already have wings and shit why not be birds

Since Charlie knows she's an angel Vaggie helped her in preparing herself for the meeting w Heaven

3. Lute/Exterminators

🤡

So looking back I forgot my OWN LORE by forgetting to put cheek rings on Lute (like I did to Vaggie)

So let's pretend (being delulu is the solulu)

lute is just there to serve as a model to how (maskless) exterminators look like (sorry lute)

The cheek rings connect to Charlie and Lucifer's own cuz Lucifer was a former angel as we all know

Exterminators dress up like higher-up angels (see Charlie's true form to have an idea of it) in order to look more terrifying and intimidating

okay like bro real talk who would you be scared of more someone who looks like part of your species or a literal fuckin eldritch being coming to swoop in and kill you

I'm taking the second option

Making exterminators look like demons was a dumb move sorry

Their mask serves as a lure of some sort where you can't help but look at them (kind of how we don't wanna see disturbing things but we can't help but stare at them when they appear)

And then boom you died because you were to busy looking at the "eye"

I think the look I gave them + some of their bloodthirsty nature's brings in more of the horror

I do like the fact they look like regular people underneath the masks because it kinda reminds you of heaven's hierarchy

once we go up the ladder the more terrifying they look

so once I redesign Emily and Sera....expect them to look more...captivating to the eyes

Other things

The reveal of Vaggie being an angel is turned into a funny scene

"YOUR GF IS AN ANGEL" "....ok and?" "....WHAT DO YOU MEAN OK AND."

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I will never forget what y'all was saying about Jessica Drew. So much of the fandom narrative around her does her dirty.

Like at least Miguel be on trial for shit he absolutely did and would do again given the chance

People be like 'Jessica threatened to tell Miguel that Gwen saw Miles'

No she didn't.

That just didn't happen. Like that occurrence just didn't take place whatsoever

If we're being real Jessica doesn't give the slightest fuck about Miles 😭😭 AT ALL

They're talking about The Spot and how he's going from Alchemax to Alchemax.

Lyla says he's a total canon killer and asks what they want to do.

And Jess says "You have an hour to fix this, or I can't help you."

Which isn't a threat IT'S JUST THE TRUTH

The Spot is gaining power at an unstoppable rate, hitting up different Alchemax's. He's a danger to canon.

Jessica can either call Miguel now, or give Gwen one more chance to fix it.

But if Gwen can't fix it in an hour Jessica genuinely can't help her because The Spot would be literally too powerful for anyone to do anything.

Like literally in an hour, if The Spot is still on the loose - chances are there's NOTHING anyone can do to help the situation.

Eventually Lyla - who by the way could go and tell Miguel right there and now - will HAVE to let Miguel know about what's happening.

And Jessica is like 'hurry up and deal with The Spot before this gets too big. Or else, I can't help you'

Cause like... Deadass at that point Jessica would genuinely be powerless.

The situation at that point is not about Miguel or Miles. It's about stopping the Spot.

When Spot tears up Mumbattan PLUS Miles escaped his universe PLUS PLUS Pavitr's misses a canon event -

At that point Lyla has to tell Miguel what's wrong - it's not like he's not gonna find out.

Jessica never even threatened her 😭😭 She was literally just talking to Gwen. Telling her the truth

Like what do you want this woman to do about The Spot? She can reprimand Gwen for seeing Miles but as soon as she hears about the Spot Jessica couldn't care less about Miles.

She goes from 'Girl what were you thinking' to 'Gwen you need to fix this right now' in 10 seconds flat. If anything Jessica cares about Miles the least, compared to everyone else.

Jessica even says it later "You let him (The Spot) get away, I can't help you-"

Because Jessica cares about their jobs.

That's why she doesn't even talk to Miles ever. At that point she doesn't care. Her main concern is her job and Gwen.

This is what I mean when I'm like all the things people dislike Jessica for she didn't even do 🤨

Even in the script it shows her being sympathetic and even regretful in how callous she seems when talking to Gwen. She never specifically puts Gwen in danger or leads danger to her (like SOME people)

Jessica wants to be a good mentor.

She wants to give Gwen a chance, and emotional support. But she's a working pregnant black woman handling a lot of the heavy field work that Miguel is too lazy or uncharismatic to do - like being his backup or managing first response on the anamoly.

She's a woman about to start her journey of motherhood, and we see that inexperience in the way she approaches Gwen. She wants to be warmer, but doesn't know how. She wants to give Gwen a chance to fix her mistakes, but she knows she can't fix those mistakes for Gwen.

See-'

I can't with y'all I CAN'T.

Stop lying on my mama alright she ain't even do nuthin

Jessica Drew is a good mentor actually you guys are just really mean

[nekropsii]

Ask Game Speed Round!!

[For the Unpopular Opinion Ask Game!!]

These are all a bunch of smaller ones I thought would be too cumbersome and spammy to post on their own... Enjoy!!

Content Warning: Long.

While I do really like Dave's character as it exists in the comic- no clue what version of Dave most of the fandom is talking about, but I don't know him- I kind of like the themes in Davesprite's character more than I do Dave's. It's another Hal situation.

Dave's character tackled a lot of things very personally relatable to me in ways I'd never seen illustrated before, but Davesprite is more interesting to think about, and seems a little more fun to write. Dave was great representation for me, as someone who grew up in a very bad home, but Davesprite just has that extra oomph with his talk of humanity and individuality. Really like that guy.

---

@lupinecalibrator

This may come across as crass, or stepping out of my own lane, but I don't think giving them either multiple sets of pronouns, neopronouns, or both actually rids them of the bigotry in their characters. Lipstick on a pig situation. It just seems like a lazy, incurious fix. Yes, trans headcanons are great, but more and more often I see people use it as a cure-all to the issues a character has, either in a Doylist or Watsonian way. Queer friendliness does not eliminate racism. If a character is a bigoted caricature of a specific group of people, then slapping on a leftist layer of paint by saying "actually they're a minority icon in this other way" doesn't actually... Get rid of the problem. It's just kind of... Tone deaf.

We see this often with Transmisogynistic Caricatures getting claimed as Gay Icons, and people just saying that because they've just claimed them as a campy gay queen, the transmisogyny has been nullified- you can't talk about it anymore, they're the real good leftist in the room, you're a killjoy, and they've defeated bigotry. Not how it works.

---

Kind of tired of how some act like her only character traits are Silly Ditzy Furry Girl. Jade is an incredibly, incredibly intelligent young girl, an excellent marksman, and so, so deeply lonely. We need to talk about Jade's chronic loneliness more.

Also, I think she's some kind of Psychotic. One of the flavors. It just feels right to me. It feels canon-adjacent. Or, at least, a textually valid way to read her character. I have a whole post about it somewhere. Mituna and Jade shaking hands on the Psychosis.

---

Taking this opportunity to defend Aranea. Some people really need to stop acting like she's worse than Vriska. We all know what Aranea did was justified. Maybe not correct, but justified. And fucking awesome to watch.

Like, look. She spent an unfathomable amount of years being shot down and ignored and belittled by people who were supposed to be her friends... Aranea had to literally pay Meenah, her own best friend, to listen to her infodump, and even then Meenah couldn't afford to give her own best friend enough respect to just listen to her talk about something she's passionate about for 5 minutes.

I need you to think to yourself, genuinely. If you spent thousands- and I mean thousands upon thousands- of years getting ignored and walked on by everyone around you, even your own friends... If you spent thousands upon thousands of years getting called boring and a doormat to your face by even your own friends... Wouldn't you go crazy, too? Wouldn't you snap? Wouldn't you want to do something drastic just to get people to look at you? Just to be seen as something other than weak and boring? Just to be seen as worth even an iota of interest, a shred of someone's time? Wouldn't you? Because I think any normal person wouldn't take thousands upon thousands of years. I don't think you would last a decade. I wouldn't either, and I'm a pretty patient person.

Y'all are just jealous you can't play billiards with planets using your mind when you're mad. That shit was so awesome.

---

@searedtroutpeacharugula

This is not an Unpopular Opinion, or even an Opinion, I'm just pointing this out. Do you ever think about the fact that we hardly got any conversations between Rose and Jade? I do. This haunts me. This fucks me up so bad. We get plenty between John and Dave, and Dave and Jade, and Dave and Rose, and Rose and John, and Jade and John... But hardly anything between Rose and Jade!! This is so fucked up. We were robbed. I need to watch them hang out.

---

Okay, this is less of an Unpopular Opinion, and more of an Unpopular Fact, but... Mituna doesn't just throw slurs at people. That's one of the things people jump to when they're talking about Defanging Mituna- they always say something about how he "calls people slurs every two seconds". He literally doesn't. That is legitimately not a thing he does. If you heard that before and believed it, you were literally lied to. That is straight up demonstrably not true.

Like, if you're trying to think of something Mituna does every two seconds unprompted, it's either sex jokes or apologizing. Slurs aren't a thing he just slings around casually. He said a grand total of one slur... To Meenah... And it's a fake troll slur. And then we get it defined to us... Aaaand it's the troll equivalent to "Cracker". That's it. That's the crime he's committed- calling someone a word that is immediately after defined to us as "Someone who is at the top of and benefits from the furthering of the oppressive Fuchsia-Down power structure, and the Lowbloods that help enforce it." That's the slur he used. That's what made people start declaring that "he would totally say the N Word" with full and complete confidence. Absolutely ridiculous. He's called no one else any kind of genuine slur. He just called Meenah a Wader once, and then she and Kankri got upset about it, because they are both, by definition, Waders.

---

Leijon Hot Take Party Pack: If you think Nepeta shipping her friends together is fine, or even adorable, but then sneer at or get grossed out by Meulin doing the same thing, you're a hypocrite. I don't care if you say "Meulin's writing Friend Fic, though, that's weird!!" the problem with Shipping Your Friends and Writing Romantic Fanfiction Of Your Friends is at the same root.

The problem with these things isn't the presence of writing, it's the presence of, you know, shipping your friends? If you're fine with Nepeta doing it, you've gotta be fine with Meulin doing it. Be fine with both or neither. It's the same damn thing. I'm pretty sure both friend groups are fine with it, too, so it's not like this is a boundaries issue or anything. Both or neither. Pick one.

---

Observation: I do think it's cool how Jane and Jake are related and have similarly opposing relationships with their gender. Jake's oft presented with Feminine themes and imagery, and Jane with Masculine themes and imagery. Very cool. Wish more people made that correlation.

---

Okay, that's all for now!! Thank you for reading, if you did. Have a nice rest of your day. :)

[adissonsss]

PT2: Headcanons(NSFW): How Tokio Hotel(any era) would be like in bed

Notes; I have a couple of Tokio Hotel works coming up, but I'm just having a hard time writing

•I was so close to falling asleep while writing this, it was 2:24 AM when I posted this & I was soo tired

•Just a reminder, none of the photos I use are mine

•Since I already did Bill NSFW, his section is shorter😕

•I tried something different & added a pic every time it was a different person🤗

•Enjoy, much love!💜💜

•I need more people on my taglist😭

Tom Kaulitz

•Bro. He's literally Tom. He's horny as fuck. Now, he won't force you, but he will put you in the mood all the time.

^Y'all can and will go until your too exhausted and overstimulated

•He can go for rounds at a time. He will give you breaks, but he loves sex.

•Honestly, I see him as a both a receiver and a giver. He wants it to be good for both of y'all.

^He's a dom, and can be a receiver, but will always be in control of the situation.

•He can be serious, playful, dominating, loving, it really depends on where y'all are and if something happened leading up to sex.

^Would be real playful during quickies, just chasing y'alls release, not even caring if other people can see or hear.

^He's dominating and serious if he's jealous and angry, needing to prove to you that your his, he's yours, and nobody can be between that.

•He likes to try different things, and will try his best to let him do different things to you, different positions, roles, toys, etc(it's Tom?? Nobody would say no💀)

•Gives you princess treatment, but can and will degrade the shit out of you

•He knows how to use his fingers.

•He will let you take control(maybe, not really), but 90% of the time he likes leading things

•Will not turn down a bj. Ever.🙈

•Dirty talk 24/7. He will also call you all the nicknames in the book.

---

Bill Kaulitz

•He's definitely a softie, but can be sassy and playful.

•A switch. He won't be in control all the time, but neither will you.

•He loves trying out new things, but he will never make you uncomfortable or ignore if you say a safe word.

•He loves dirty talk+praise, teasing you, praising you, any talk tbh

•He loves face-fucking. Or face-sitting. Both tbh

•He loves tits. Playing with them, laying on them(sleeps on them sometimes, there is photos of him sleeping on your upper body)

Georg Listing

Only high quality pic I could find ngl

•Georg wants to control the situation, and will be dominating and serious.

•He will mark you up everywhere with bruises, hickies, teeth marks, and kiss marks.

•He likes to keep it simple, but will try out new toys.

•He doesn't get jealous very easily, but when he does, it's super intense & scary to deal with his questioning and attitude.

•He is overall a relaxed guy, so lazy, calm, and just chasing release is what sex is normally about for y'all.

•He is such a soft and good lover, omg. He puts you first during sex 100%, and listens to your every want and need.

•Body worshipper 100%!! He kisses and rubs every curve and mark.

Gustav Schäfer

•Gustav is soft and nice, but will put his foot down if needed.

•He is so adorable!!! He loves aftercare, and does all of the above(baths, snacks, ointment if needed on bruises+scratches, the whole 9 yards🤗😻)

•He's a switch, he doesn't mind being in control, but he likes when you take the reins sometimes.

•Angry and frustated sex. He will use you as his outlet(sometimes....)

•He has really strong muscles, and can go for rounds and hours!

^He knows how to use his fingers.

•He loves kissing on your neck and face.

•He doesn't whimper, but will groan deeply.

•I feel like he'd be into filming it and watching it back later when he can't be near you or just doesn't have time.

^The pictures he has of you also help him jack-off when he can't be near you

-

Taglist;

@ilovebill-and-gustav

@spx-der

•I tried my best. I'm so tired writing this wtf

[zouofzouey]

Sick of Being Sick | MHA & JJK

Hey, I'm sick right now. Share in my misery, will ya?

Series; MHA and JJK

Characters; Bakubabe, Todobroki, Kiri luvs us all, Shinshino (Shinso), JenniferLawrenceLover666 (AKA Itadori), GoGoGojo, Megumi my love... and I think that's it.

-----

Bakugou

This man makes you soup. Which, I know soup sounds boring but like, this is some serious gourmet shit

He'd be the type to say stuff like: You got this sick cause of your own stupid actions dipwad...

But then turnaround and tuck you all nice into bed with a story (maybe not that last part but whatever)

He's also the type to stay 10 feet away from you

I mean, keep your germs to yourself ya nasty

No cuddles or kisses or anything that has to do with being in close proximity

Good luck getting even a fist bump (Not that he would normally do that but you know whatever)

He'll give you your meds and your DayQuil or NightQuil but he's gonna be wearin a mask I swear

10/10 on taking care of you

0/10 for smooches :'(

Todoroki

Being taken care of by this man is pretty sweet

He loves you with all his heart and is willing to run miles just to make you feel better

But honestly, he might mess up here or there

Like he wouldn't heat the soup up properly (Unless you like cold soup)

If you have hot or cold flashes, boom, the instant temperature regulator 3000

Even if it got him sick, he would give you your soft forehead kisses or late-night cuddles

Would 100% get sick right after you get better

Hopefully, this isn't a cycle...

8/10 on taking care of you

10/10 for love <3

Kirishima Eijiro

Kiri my man my dude my legend mi compadre don muchacho is very good at taking care of you

I mean, c'mon, Kirishima is a lovely manly man who wants nothing more than his partner to be happy and healthy

Moreso, he gonna take care of you like his life depends on it, which is true, your life is his life... or some weird couple saying that I wouldn't know about because I'm single

This man gonna cuddle your sickness away

You're gonna be in a headlock from the next week so get comfortable sweetie

He's going to get all the pillows and blankets he can find to fit on your bed ASAP

Snuggle party y'all

He would absolutely go to the drugstore at 5 in the morning just to get you your DayQuil

An honorable man who is willing to do anything for the love of his life

10/10 on taking care of you

10/10 for smooche smooches and love

Shinso Hitoshi

Shinso's pretty lazy, not gonna lie

He loves ya, but your medicine is on the other side of the couch, so he just- can't- reach-

You'll be lucky if he'll even make you some decent food

It's probably going to be just microwave dinners :/

Okay, let's be real, Shinso is gonna have you sleeping even before he does

Like I said, he loves you and will show it in his strange Shinso ways

You're getting some good sleep

How does he do it? He has his Shinso magic that can only be used on rare occasions. The magic of ✨prescription drugs✨

Yeah, that'll have you knocked out for sure

What drug you may ask?

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to

2/10 taking care

5/10 smoochy

Itadori Yuji

Does he know what he's doing?

Haha, no

But is he trying?

With all his heart <3

He's not great at cooking or finding the right medicines but you know what? A for effort? No, A is for ass. Don't ask questions

Yuji will want to cuddle the last bit of sickness out of you

But he'll come to snuggle up to you when he gets sick and be just like; "You have to take care of me now 👉👈"

He might be a wee bit annoying when it comes to letting you do ANYTHING by yourself, I mean, he's gonna make you stay in bed while he makes you some mediocre soup

Don't get too angry with him though, he just wants to take care of the love of his life

Which is you, not Jennifer Lawrence

Probably

6/10 on taking care of you

12/10 on luvs

Gojo Satoru

Do you think this man's going to stop working? Stop teaching his beloved students? Stay in your house that reeks of sickness? Do all the cooking and cleaning for you while you're stuck on the couch watching his favorite TV show without him?

Maybe not that last part, but he'll mostly do what's said above

Gojo is likely to do nothing with you while you're ill

Just watchin' some sort of stupid romcom you found for free on a random website that may just be a tiny bit sketchy

He's not much of the "taking care of" type. More so, the "I'm going to cuddle the life out of you" type

I mean, you can't be sick if you're dead

He loves you. But your germs be nasty

I imagine he never gets sick, so when he's around someone who is sick, he avoids them like the plague

It just so happens to be that the one who's sick is his s/o

2/10 on taking care of you

7/10 for loving

Fushiguro Megumi

Megumi is also the type to never get sick

He probably won't treat you like you're gonna kill him every time you cough

Unlike someone, we all know and sometimes love

He's pretty damn good at taking care of you

He makes sure you don't overexert yourself

Gumi gets you food that won't make you feel even worse

He gives the gracious gift of water every hour (or any time you finish your current glass)

Warm blankets straight from the dryer, perfectly fluffed pillows, he's got it all ready

Megumi can't cook that well, but he tries because he loves you <3

He'd also get up in the middle of the night if you run out of medicine

24/7 drug stores exist for a reason

9/10 on taking care of you

10/10 for caring

This was originally going to be a serious headcanon thing, but it later turned into satire and sass. Just like my 10th-grade assignment about Emerson. Good times, good times.

[dollypopup]

unpopular polin opinions (again)

-Colin honest to God didn't do anything even REMOTELY as bad as this fandom insists he did? framing him as the big bad in a friends to lovers story is deeply unsatisfying and pits him and Pen against each other when the whole POINT is that they're a team.

-Polin is meant to be ride or die. it's meant to be people who see one another for who they are beyond the front. it is NOT meant to be two people who hold grudges against one another with a scorecard of who hurt the other more huffing about how the other is frustrating. their whole dynamic is 'i like you' 'i like you, too'

-BOTH OF THEM have hurt the other without apology. NEITHER of them are actually in love with the other (yet). Both of them are closed off and secretive and neither of them should actually have to beg and cry and scream for forgiveness. they're supposed to be friends

-jealous Colin as we're pushing for it is a shit tier trope. Colin swooping in w/ feelings for Pen only after other people have expressed interest in her would always make her wonder if he wanted her for her or if he wanted her because someone else did first and that's not the dynamic at all. Colin falls for her organically, albeit slowly. He falls for her when she opens up, when she shows him who she is, and only after he shows her that he's a safe place to do so. Likewise, SHE falls for HIM for real when she sees who HE is, too. When she sees that he's imperfect and that his charming artifice is a mask he wears. They're both scared that who they truly are on the inside is unlovable or unworthy of serious consideration, and when they crack open and the other sees, they fall for who they actually are. It's a love made stronger because it's born out of trust and understanding, not out of an ultimatum of 'I could lose her!'

-Penelope ghosting Colin with no explanation after S2 would be her being a really bad friend and deeply hurtful

-Penelope would hate being the unofficial diamond everyone is seemingly rooting for and it makes 0 sense for her to suddenly have a bunch of suitors. it's just lazy storytelling.

-most of the Polin dynamics this fandom has actively rooted for in S3 is just Kanthony or Saphne 2.0. That's very much NOT the point of Polin's romance. and I do not understand why people want the exact same season playing out the THIRD TIME IN A ROW

-Pen's actual character would despise how some of y'all write about Colin. like. . .she's supposed to love him? he's supposed to love her? If someone called him an idiot or undeserving or uninteresting or that he should beg and grovel she would fight

-Polin's characterizations as individual characters as well as a couple have been so completely twisted and deformed in this fandom for the sake of drama and painfully cishet toxic tropes that it makes me legitimately sad. Polin is a great ship. So much of it is beautiful and healing. Two people who care for one another deeply, if with a good deal of confusion, discovering who they are individually and then realizing they're happiest with each other is lovely. Colin being an atypical male love interest in the sense that his primary draw is kindness and compassion and primary struggles being lost and jealous of his LI for her success is INTERESTING. There are a million and one brooding rakes out there breaking hearts and beating their chests howling 'she's mine!' in the middle of a room full of other men gawking. Ship Pen with one of them if you want that dynamic, but that's not Colin and I don't WANT it to be Colin. Colin is great without that

-Penelope is not an innocent lil bab who did everything she did out of good intentions. she is more complex and relatable as someone who fucks up. It is COMPELLING that she did deeply hurtful things not out of saintly altruism but out of jealousy or scorn or desperation mixed with a genuine desire to do well by those she cares for. It is a better story to acknowledge she isn't even remotely perfect and that in wanting to help, she just tangled things up even worse than before. Penelope has plenty of faults alongside her goodness: she's closed off, distrusting, traumatized, jealous. All whilst being funny, sharp, cunning, loving. She wants to be loved and to love those around her and doesn't know how. She hurts the people she cares about and she hurts herself in the process. THAT'S REAL. The idea that Penelope is a perfect bab who should be fawned over and all her ills can be excused away is flat and infantalizing. I understand: there have been a lot of criticisms of Penelope from people who genuinely dislike her character. But the pendulum has swung to the other side to the point where people who DO like her and DO ship Polin point out unsavory parts of her character, it's met with the same rabid defense as if we were haters. Guess what? I like Penelope MORE because she's made those fuck ups. I like discussing how she's hurt others because who of us haven't? Penelope is overlooked and unpopular and awkward and unsure and I LIKE HER FOR IT. I'm exhausted of the glittering, perfect Penelope who everyone else has to apologize to because she's the 'victim'. That makes her so much more unlikable

-speaking of unlikable, most of y'all who say you ship Polin straight up do not like Colin as a character. And it's obvious. Turning him into a character he isn't, wanting him on hands and knees begging for a second chance, considering him only as an extension of Penelope when he has so much richness as a character in his own right. Assuming the worst in his actions and striking out all the good about him in favor of a narrative that deforms Polin into a ship where he is always wrong and she is always right. And it turns a lot of people off to the ship. People who ship Polin already get turned off by how much this fandom hates Colin, let alone peeps just getting into it or outside of it. There are people who despise Polin that discuss Colin more favorably than we do in our own ship and it makes no sense because he is a genuinely fantastic character. He refuses to abide by toxic masculinity, he's gentle and sweet and caring, he's silly and unsure and self-sacrificing, he's putting on an act and he's self-critical and he's got such a big heart. He's the kindest person in Pen's life. He supports her unyieldingly. He's never done anything to purposefully hurt her and he cherishes her as a friend. Why do we so rarely talk about him favorably?

-Polin is NOT Colin vs. Penelope. That dynamic can create some interesting conflict, sure, but it needs to move beyond that because at the core? At the core, it's Polin vs. The Problem. and it's so much more fulfilling that way

[arendaes]

Jae and/or Heinrix 👀

Oooh, thank you!! I'll answer for both. I still haven't completed the game (I've resigned myself to the fact I'll probably wait for the DLC in August and then restart Imogen's playthrough) BUT I definitely got far enough to have Opinions.

How I feel about this character

I love both of them! If you forced me to choose, I'd pick Jae, but they're both great and I usually have both of them in my party. They both scratch a particular kind of itch when it comes to characters that I enjoy.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Imogen! I know that's the cheap answer though lol

Heinrix is easy; he and Marazhai should absolutely hatefuck. It wouldn't fix either of them - in fact it'd probably make them worse - but they should still do it anyways.

As for Jae...I do find her crush on Argenta sweet, though it also seems to be doomed from the start. You've also given me something to think about regarding her and Idira 👀

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I actually love their friendship! They're really nice foils to each other and everything I've seen for the two them tells me they actually get along very well. I'm going to haunted by the story idea I have for them and Imogen until I actually write it, but I need to finish the game first!

For Jae, I also really enjoy her friendship with Idira.

Calling it a friendship might be a bit much, but I think Heinrix and Pasqal have an interesting dynamic. I have some banter screenshots on my Steam Deck (that I'm too lazy to pull up right now) that occurred at a very interesting moment and it planted the idea in my head of the two of them having a weird respect for each other. (Also, Heinrix needs some friends besides Imogen and Jae, and Pasqal seems like the most likely out of all the options lol)

My unpopular opinion about this character

For Jae, it doesn't surprise me that Reddit has bad takes about her. Part of me wants to woobify her and say "she's my silly rabbit who's never done a wrong thing in her life" but that's very antithetical to what I'm about so I'll stick to my guns and say she's a complicated character with a very well-written romance that really challenges your preconceptions about her. Is she perfect? No. But she's a character who's more than worth investing time into; she definitely has my heart where this game is concerned.

As for Heinrix...I really hate the "Space Darcy" characterization of him, I'm sorry. This man tortures people for a living y'all he's not a poor repressed baby he's got some real shit he needs to work through 😭

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish I didn't have to choose between them in the base game 🥲

[chaos0pikachu]

Did you see the ending of Last Twilight? What did you think of it?

Personally I tuned into LT for 1 episode and it just didn't catch me at all but I'm nosy, so I've been reading the posts that cross my dash. I won't say I know everything but from the reactions of the people who have watched it - it's clear it's not good.

Then I came across a post that was smt like: We don't trust Jojo. We can't trust Aof smt smt. And that got me thinking.

You've said you don't like GMMTV shows, iirc. That they are more a product being sold than a story being told. And that's what I remembered reading the above post.

I also realized the last GMMTV BL to hold my interest was The Eclipse and even that went messy towards the end. Somehow GMMTV continues to make bad shows and continues to keep getting praise for it(until people realize this is a shit show from the get go). Though I am glad that people are recognizing how well made the BLs from other companies are. I think part of it has to do with being palatable. Even at it's worst Only Friends was nowhere near horny enough, like many other BLs, and that was GMMTV's horniest show. Also they put their stuff out on YouTube which makes it accessible to everyone. That ease / lack of barrier to entry means a majority of the fandom, especially new fans would end up at GMMTV. Then there is the fact that these shows just keep getting recommended. If someone made a shows to watch list - some GMMTV show is on there with a warning 'badly done ending'.

That makes me think GMMTV has gotten cocky. They want to pump out as much as they can and suck as much money as they can from the fans. I get running a business but it's detrimental to the company in the long run when none of it's BLs in a whole year managed to stick the landing. Perhaps they just don't care. It reminds me of corruption. Think of it in a metaphorical way. It's a short term solution that creates some money but will create long term problems. (Well I don't think GMMTV will be affected that much. It's just an interesting thought.)

So what are your thoughts?

~ Fork Around

omg is hating gmmtv shows becoming ✨my brand✨ cause that would be so fucking funny

for home players I don't actually "hate" gmmtv or the studios shows I just think fandom, at large, overhypes them to fuck when in reality all the ones I've watched I've found them to be thoroughly mediocre in regards to both narrative and film making.

To answer your first question, no I didn't watch Last Twilight, not out of any moral~~~ reason or whatever the hell, just cause I didn't want to. It didn't look interesting or appealing to me so I didn't bother. I'm picky about what things I watch b/c I'm hella fucking lazy lol am I gonna spend 12+ hours watching a mid show from gmmtv or am I gonna spend that same amount of time watching like, Marry My Husband? The latter, I'm choosing the latter. Hell, I'd rather watch Wing Chun which has less budget than Last Twilight does b/c Michelle Yeoh even at her earliest can act circles - also bonus Donnie Yen as her love interest!! - around any actor at gmmtv.

God people are gonna now think I think all the gmmtv actors can't act, I don't think that, the ones I've seen range from bad, to fine, to good. Calm down I'm not after your faves, and I can only name like four dudes that are signed at gmmtv anyway.

Then I came across a post that was smt like: We don't trust Jojo. We can't trust Aof smt smt. And that got me thinking.

man the folks in fandom who keep deifying directors should like, stop. Y'all are just setting yourselves up for disappointment. It's giving Joss Whedon's fanbase for real. Like Spielberg directed Schindler's List and Ready Player One okay? No one director bats a thousand every round.

Somehow GMMTV continues to make bad shows and continues to keep getting praise for it(until people realize this is a shit show from the get go). [...] I think part of it has to do with being palatable. Even at it's worst Only Friends was nowhere near horny enough, like many other BLs, and that was GMMTV's horniest show. Also they put their stuff out on YouTube which makes it accessible to everyone. That ease / lack of barrier to entry means a majority of the fandom, especially new fans would end up at GMMTV. Then there is the fact that these shows just keep getting recommended. If someone made a shows to watch list - some GMMTV show is on there with a warning 'badly done ending'.

Okay so like, I've had a lot of thoughts about this in general since gmmtv shows do make up a mass majority of The BL Fandom in general.

The way I would break this down is into factors:

Parasocial relationships (between the audience and actors)

Palatable Brand (queerness packaged in a non-threatening and non-challenging way with simple, low stakes stories typically about acceptance, and romance aka squeecore romances)

Accessibility (being available on youtube for free)

Easily consumable (b/c the shows are low stakes and non-challenging they're really easy binge watches, and since gmmtv puts out like 50 of these things a year fans just move on to the next one really quickly. Have y'all noticed that there's like, a general lack of fan works in BL fandom? It's usually just weekly episode meta posts and weekly gifsets but not a ton of fan art and fanfic is made for these shows)

Consuming vs Engaging (a trend I see in general in regards to BL fandom is this seemingly need to watch like as many BL shows as possible even moving on as quickly as possible to the next show instead of sitting with the show and building a community around said show, the only exceptions I've really seen to this is kinnporsche and slightly love in the air & bad buddy)

I'm gonna break these things down further underneath the cut:

Parasocial Relationships

"Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence. Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations (such as sports teams) or television stars." (source)

Gmmtv is really, really good at creating para-social relationships between the audience and their actors. How many people were willing to give Ray the benefit of the doubt and write sad woobie meta after one singular episode of Only Friends simply b/c Khao was playing the char? How many people were rooting for SandRay and TopMew simply b/c they liked FirstKhao and ForceBook?

Not everyone, obviously, but from my observations on tumblr, twitter, reddit, and youtube, a fuckton did this. Even unintentionally, I saw fans do this. Like ignoring Ray calling Sand a whore, or just...everything about the clusterfuck that was Top and Mew's relationship. Double standards were abound in Only Friends fandom when it came to how fandom treated chars like Mew, Ray and even Sand (especially Ray) in comparison to Boston. Not gonna get into that here - wait for the podcast episode to drop y'all - but it's an example.

Branded couples are gmmtv's bread and butter when it comes to their BL. They sell sticker sheets and postcard packets like these actors are kpop idols. The gmmtv house party thing or whatever trends on twitter. The studio directly encourages fans to grow attached to their actors specifically so they foster a para-social attachment so they can sell you the next six ForceBook, or OffGun or whoever show with the same or slightly different concept - this time they're in an office au! this time they're in a coffee shop au! - its just RPF at this point with extra steps. Not everyone~ obviously but a good chunk of people watched Dangerous Romance b/c they liked Perth and whoever his partner is. A lot of people checked out Cooking Crush b/c of OffGun.

I'm not saying this is a "bad" thing, one of the reasons I'm interested in watching Abigail is b/c of Melissa Barrera. So like I do get it, but as much as I enjoy Melissa her character in Abigail might be like, badly written. Who knows. I really enjoy Angie Jolie but lord knows she's had some awful roles and films.

Because of this emphasis on branded couples and para-social relationships, this effects the quality of the story b/c not every actor they pick for whichever show is the right actor. Earth was the wrong actor to play Jim in Moonlight Chicken, he just was. When Wen says he "likes old people" or someone makes a boomer joke about Jim I'm like that's a 29 yr old man. It takes me directly out of the story. It's no different than Jennifer Lawance playing a 40+ yr old woman in American Hustle at like 26. It's ridiculous.

Why NOT pair Mix up with an older actor who could also better play a world weary older man? Because it's not about The Story, it's about how much merch gmmtv can sell you or how many tickets they can sell to an EarthMix fan meet.

Palatable Brand/Easily Consumable

Gonna get myself in trouble, look gmmtv is a mix of Disney for gays and CW for gays. All the shows from gmmtv I've watched have 1) followed a very basic romance arc throughline, 2) been overall non-challenging in terms of narrative ideas or risks and 3) are straightforward in both film making style and narrative direction.

I have not watched every single gmmtv show nor will I cause again I am fucking lazy, but out of the ones I have watched this is how I feel about them.

Their shows tend to be about self-acceptance and romance. Which is FINE. I'm not saying this is a bad thing!! It's just boring after the 65th show about the subject. Especially when gmmtv doesn't care enough to cast actors that are right for the roles and give their crew a second light or five more nickels to the budget.

Sorry but 2gether is a poorly filmed show. 1000 Stars, imo, is thoroughly overhyped for how poorly paced it is, and how thin the actual story is (wait for the podcast ep on THAT lmao)

But these shows are comfortable and comforting. This is a neutral statement. You can like squeecore shows all you want I'm just saying that's part of the mass appeal of them. They're like the MCU films, they suggest the ideas of leftish politics just enough but don't really say anything further then that. And at times even enforce some harmful rhetoric - like the slut shaming in only friends and this ending to last twilight. They're just comfortable, easy shows that people can watch First and Khao in, enjoy their scenes, and then immediately move on to the next First and Khao show - hope they play street racers next! - without much of a thought.

Because these shows are pretty "safe" in terms of the depiction of queerness and sex it also makes them more palatable to mass recommend. When people make lists for what to show non-BL watches I usually see a lot of these "palatable" shows, stuff with straightforward romances, a couple kisses, fade-to-black sex. It's less based on genre preferences and more based on "what's the least scary thing we can recommend to folks". You see ppl do this with anime too. Everything gets lumped together under the sub-genre which is a shame (and also feels a bit xenophobic but I ain't getting into that).

But like, if I knew my friend was into fantasy gay shit I'd recommend them like, The Sign for live action, Drug and Drop for manga, Revolutionary Girl Utena for anime, Word of Honor and/or Legend of Yunze for (censored but still super gay) live action. I haven't read any fantasy bl/gl manwha yet so drop recs if y'all have some.

Accessibility

This one is pretty self-explanatory. We've seen how accessibility can increase a shows reach from Avatar getting a resurgence when it appeared on Netflix, where as, a show like Playboyy is gonna have a smaller reach since it's mainly available on streaming platforms like Gaga.

Consuming vs Engaging

gmmtv puts out the most Thai BLs period. This is just a fact of the industry. When you put out that much the quality of your media is going to go down - again we saw this with Disney regarding Star Wars and the MCU - because the goal is to sell merch not the stories. (Disney gets most of their sales via their parks and merch not their box office returns).

I see a lot of Big BL Blogs recommending gmmtv shows all the time, and I see a lot of these blogs and the fandom at large consuming these shows rather than engaging with said show. It becomes more of a challenge to watch 49 BLs, writing a quick meta post/review on them, and then moving on to the next one. There's a lack of higher end engagement, people aren't sitting with these shows and exploring the nooks of them. The empty spaces, the potential.

Probably b/c there's not a lot TO explore in regards to gmmtv shows, they all end pretty definitively. The couple goes through their couple journey, end up together, usually with marriage or an engagement, either way the promise of being together forever. Which is, again, fine, there's just not a lot of meat there to explore further.

This isn't specific to gmmtv shows - Domundi's shows come to mind regarding this too like Naughty Babe ends very definitively - but people just move on to the next one. They write episode-to-episode meta, end of show meta/recaps, make some gifs, move on to the next thing. It doesn't help that a lot of characters in gmmtv shows are thin and their worlds are empty.

But I think what attracts people is the constant churn of content. gmmtv shows are like tiktok videos, you scroll, watch, scroll to the next. Keep things quick and moving.

Where is the BL fanfic???

Moonlight Chicken only has 389 once you remove 1000 Stars, My School President, and Thai RPF works. Only Friends has 809 but only after also removing Only Friends RPF, Thai Actor RPF, 1000 Stars, The Eclipse, The Eclipse RPF, and Moonlight Chicken. 1000 Stars only has 292 once you remove similar crossovers (and a lot of RPF). My School President is down to 609 fics once you get rid of all the RPF and crossovers.

For comparison, kinnporsche has 11,444 fics even with all the RPF and crossovers removed.

I'm losing steam here at the end. These are a lot of thoughts, and I know they're not 100% articulate. These are just some general feelings and observations regarding gmmtv shows and fandom.

I'm NOT saying all~~~~ gmmtv show "bad" - though most I do think on a technical level are filmed very averagely with only MLC and Not Me breaking any molds - nor is anyone "wrong" or "bad" for liking idk Cooking Crush or Cherry Magic. I don't care like what you like bro.

I do think fandom overall overhypes gmmtv shows for a lot of factors - whether it's b/c they like the actors and feel that para-social pull towards them, or b/c they just like the squeecore comfort of these shows, or some mix of both - I think fandom would have an easier time if they just treated gmmtv shows are they are - average.

It's fine to be average and made for mass consumption. I like cheetos too dude. These shows don't have to be the peak of queer cinema to be valid, or for you to be "valid" for liking them. Why do any of us need to be "valid" in terms of the media we engage with? Who fucking cares? Like what you like, it doesn't have to be The Best Thing To Ever Gay for you to be valid for liking it. It doesn't have to "be important" either it can be gushers or twizzlers eat your snacks and enjoy life.

Just stop telling me it's a 4 star steak dinner or getting mad when you're charged 60 dollars for gushers.