#y'all i have problems

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[softiedingo]

[queeraang]

sometimes, you dislike a piece of media that is very popular and objectively well made. the popularity of it will only make it more annoying to you. now, the solution is not to then comb through a thing you don’t like to see if you can find something problematic to harp on to prove it's actually bad (you will find it, no human being has ever created perfectly inclusive perfectly inoffensive art) that just tanks the vibe and discourages new art because what's the point if it can never be perfect, also sometimes you spin out of control and start accusing people of real life crimes over like... a niche webseries

as someone with over three decades of 'bad taste' under their belt, allow me to guide you on best responses using a real life example of a popular film series, i couldn't give less of a fuck about. the nolan batman trilogy

block, mute, blacklist, whatever you have to do to avoid seeing this thing on your preferred webbed sites

allow yourself a quiet “ugh this shit” when things slip through the cracks

pick a neutral element of the thing to dislike when people ask “i’m not really a batman fan" "i like more lighthearted superhero movies"

when inevitably someone can't BELIEVE you don't LOVE the best thing EVER MADE, you make it boring to talk about "yeah couldn't get into it" "it's just not my thing"

it also helps if you admit that it is good (i'm so sorry) just not good to you. the metaphor i use is gordon ramsey could make the most immaculate mushroom risotto ever made, but it's still not going to taste good if you don't like mushrooms

change the subject/leave the convo. i don't sit around listening to ppl talk about the dark knight, i ignore the gc for a few minutes, i go get a drink irl, if it's one on one i go "no, but you know i did like birds of prey, have you seen that?"

if someone really won't let up, stop talking to them! a guy who always wants to talk about how i should watch batman is a fucking weird guy to know

vent about this with like minded people SPARINGLY, too much and you'll fall down the "and everyone who does like it is morally bankrupt" hole

crucially, don't do this to other people for stuff you like. you're not the arbiter of taste, your "best movie ever" could be someone else's "if i have to hear about that shit again i'll scream"

like i'm sure i could figure out ways the dark knight trilogy is racist/ableist/etc if i really examined it, but like... i would so much rather just NOT WATCH THREE MOVIES I DON'T FUCKING LIKE

[schneiderenjoyer]

Help...save me...it won't leave my head...

[striveattemptfail]

a cursed realization: wade and logan are old men. logan especially so.

they MUST have weird old man habits and general body weirdness. and not the endearing shit like preferring to use old school tech, or having a "get off my lawn, my favourite miscreants" kinda attitude, or being unable to keep up in sex, or any of that kinda cute stuff

i mean the unpleasant sweaty old man smell, having walking farts, snoring while awake, their stomachs just making noises for no goddamn reason bc their digestive systems are no longer 30 y/o

all of which they don't even realize they're doing bc they're old and either a) have more pressing things to worry about [at their age]; b) stopped giving a fuck; or c) both of the above

source: i live with two very old men (my dad and uncle). one is a few years away from retirement and the other is already at that age. they are family but they are still gross old men who act like drunk uncles given half the chance

and while neither logan or wade are in their 60s, these habits don't just magically appear once you hit that age. they begin long before that and accumulate over time until the stinky old man package is complete

"but jercy," you say, "they have perfect regeneration!! they can't have any health problems!! they're too self-conscious to be that gross!!"

1: (re: perfect regeneration) that is an even worse argument for wade, who has mega cancer and canonically does not smell pleasant or have a properly functioning body. he'd 100% have old man problems as a symptom of his cancer bc his mutation is physically keeping him in a constant state of dying. everything he does is out of sheer stubbornness and willpower to make a joke out of his life

1b: to play on a popular headcanon: any aromatic, artificial fruity skincare routine he has can easily be used as a reason for him to cover up his old man smell

2: see point B above for logan

2b: see the movie, logan (2017), or the comic, death of wolverine (2014), for the fact that logan can canonically age/die. albeit it's at a vastly slower pace than everyone else, but it means logan WILL eventually have these issues with his body too, if he doesn't have them already

2c: feral/animalistic logan who takes on animal traits would be so much worse bc wolverines are called "skunk bears" for a reason. wolverines (and any wildlife/animal that you can compare logan to) fucking STINK!! they have EVEN GROSSER ANIMAL HABITS!! you just gotta accept it

3: (re: self-consciousness) you got a point there, but once again refer to point B. most folks i know at their age are on their way to or have already stopped caring about what others think of them. and even if wade and logan are somehow the exceptions to this, i'm sure they let loose in private and probably indulge in their grosser habits when they're alone

4: if you want biblically accurate old man yaoi you're gonna have to contend with the fact that it comes with the non-sexy old man problems. i'm sorry i have to break the illusion but this is the reality we must face together

5: suspension of disbelief, friends. do engage with that once in a while lol

in conclusion: i unfortunately have every bit of confidence that wade and logan are not exempt from old man behaviours and bodily functions and i will die whining about it. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[supernowa-art]

sleepless nights

[dollypopup]

If Debling isn't good enough for Fran, as the Queen herself says, because he's boring and has nothing to really offer save a title

If what Debling can offer isn't good enough for Edwina, IE: a life of security without love like what Anthony was willing to provide for her

If what Debling represents, an absent figure in a household who does not invite his wife into his plans and interests isn't a good outcome for Portia, who preaches about marrying for security and then ends up scrounging for it, regardless

Why does fandom insist that Penelope has to settle for him? That he'd be a 'better option'? Why is it that she's the one who should have hopped on the first guy with a vague interest in her and tepid emotions when Colin is right there and actually desires her? Why are other women in the series allowed to prioritize love and dream of happy endings regardless of the consequences and outcomes but Penelope should be content with being the warden of a big house as her husband fucks off without her? Why is it that all these characters deserve romances and caring but Penelope should have accepted a title and an estate and being alone?

As if Colin can't provide her security. As if Colin doesn't show interest in her and listen to her. As if he's not from a good family and will also elevate her standing in society through their marriage. As if Penelope has ever been the kind of woman to go title hunting. As if Penelope finds any kind of solace in being alone. As if Penelope isn't actively looking for connection.

Peeps who think Debling is in any way a good fit for her hate Colin, but y'all clearly hate Penelope more, because what are you even talking about? Debling opened the door after getting permission to ask to marry her and didn't even smile. Colin throws open the carriage door and does the stride of pride to show her off to his family with a grin on his face. Debling dumps her with the first SNIFF he gets of her having interest in someone else. Colin runs off after her to beg her to give him a chance and not to marry the other dude. Debling wants to leave her alone in a big house as he goes on adventures. Colin cannot go traveling without writing to her and sharing the world with her.

Penelope deserves the best just as the other women of this series do. Penelope deserves to be loved in every way- with acts of service (the balloon scene, setting up a ballroom in Bridgerton House so they can flirt), with quality time (all their lessons), with touch (carriage, dances, kisses aplenty), with words of affirmation (you are Penelope Featherington, never forget that, you are clever and warm, you do not need lessons), with gifts (a ring on her finger, a house she can make a home with him together). With big gestures like running off after her and small moments like looking for her in every room.

I'm sick of Debling. I'm sick of people who don't recognize that he had 0 emotion toward Penelope save for 'she'll do'. That he liked that she was honest and alone and didn't share his interests. That she would be content with the scraps he was willing to offer her. Not passion. Not sharing. Not cultivating a life together. Not love. Not anything except money and solitude. In what world would that ever have been enough? In what world is that best for her? I'm sick of people refusing to see that Penelope wants to be and should be and will be loved all because there's bitterness in their hearts. If you throw a dreamer into a pragmatic box, they wither. As Colin would have with Marina. As Penelope would have with Debling.

Penelope deserves the best. Penelope deserves Colin. Because Colin is the best for her, to her, with her.

If you can't see that, sucks to suck.

[its-a-me-mango]

HEY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT SINGLE OUT ANY ONE WRITER FOR SMG4 TO BLAME FOR YOUR OWN CRITICISMS OF THE SHOW!!!

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet

Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)

Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked

[cozylittleartblog]

not even fictional 6 year olds are safe from identity theft

[lgbtlunaverse]

While I think it's good people have become more aware of how the patriarchy as a system hurts everyone living under it, even the more privileged classes, I do feel like I live in a bizarro world everytime people talk about cis men's mental health issues as if they all genuinely believe women were raised with perfect sympathy for their emotions and never demonized for their feelings or taught to repress them.

"Girls are taught it's okay to cry while boys are not!!" You have got to be kidding me. I am very young and even I was already old enough to be on the internet while people were still earnestly debating whether women were fit to be in official leadership positions or if they were "too emotional" and would lay ruin to the world because they were on their period or whatever. Like that was a real thing in the 2010s still. It's probably gonna make a comeback this decade if the tradwife revival keeps going long enough. Do we all have collective amnesia?

It's "okay" for girls to cry because it's benefitial for us to be seen as weak and lesser than men. It is useful for us to cry so it can be used against us. That is not exactly a good environment for girls to develop a healthy relationship to their emotions, is it? Everytime someone suggests men are uniquely tortured I feel like i'm going insane. Do we not remember hysteria? There was an actual fucking medical diagnosis for women who were expressing their emotions too much. Do we not remember the demonization of postpartum depression? Do we not remember the entirety of the anti-sjw movement specifically stereotyping feminists as foaming at the mouth and crying at nothing to make them seem illogical? Are all of you secretly from a parralel universe where misogyny never existed? I don't get it.

[littlefankingdom]

"Well, people can ship whatever they want and you cannot stop them. Yeah, these characters are aro/ace/aroace, but headcanons don't hurt anyone. You cannot gatekeep characters, learn to share."

I'm going to share your organs with the black market.

[arty-tardigrade]

Max vs. Daniel! Who would win: a psychopathic cultist with a knife or a ten year old?

(Spoiler, it's the ten year old.)

[necrotic-nephilim]

If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???

i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3

Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.

Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.

And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.

[dollypopup]

hm. idk, maybe the reason Luke Newton isn't announcing new projects or posting any Bridgerton content is because some of you demons treated him like hot trash instead of a creative that you wanted more work from and he decided fuck it, this isn't worth the stress. you know, like a lot of creatives who get mistreated do?

like this is a man who went from couch surfing in a friend's house and bartending to make ends meet, deciding that the Bridgerton audition was the last one he'd do before he quit, to suddenly being recognized on the street because that last audition propelled him to star in a global show where fans who have zero media comprehension blamed him for his character's actions and literally stalked him at any hotel he happens to stay at. he went from being a dude doing musical theatre and shopping at thrift stores and recording random songs with friends and posting silly memes on Twitter to being harassed on his only social media page and his friends insulted and his partners bullied by his supposed 'fans' and anything he posts being so microanalyzed that he can't do a damn thing without someone coming out the woodwork screaming about how he's the WORST and won't he think of the FANS!?

like damn he can't have a girlfriend without being harassed, he can't travel without being harassed, he can't like or not like social media posts without being harassed, he can't post a fucking MEME without being harassed, he can't take a vacation or cut his hair or hold someone's hand or just live his life without being blamed for some bullshit or another. but yeah, okay, 'when will Luke Newton come back?' as if it isn't your fault he's AWOL now

[flying-cat]

People don't want character redemption they want a revenge plot from a story that was never supposed to be about revenge