#y’all treat editors like shit

[dilf-phoenix-rights]

Some of you have never made a video edit in your life and it shows.

[astrababyy]

No it’s so weird that Rhys in ACOFAS was like “I don’t know what to get her for her birthday. I’m so much older than her.” And that’s after it’s mentioned in the first book that Alis’s sons (grandsons?) are what? Like 70? And they’re considered children to the fae? And Tamlin, who was considered too young to participate in the first war (wasn’t he in his 20s-100s at that time? I don’t remember), being hounded by a much older Amarantha at that time???? It’s like???? SJM????? WHY would you write that???? It’s not funny, it’s weird????? It sounds like what grandparents say about their grandkids??? What sugar daddies think about what to get their sugar babies??? What the older person in a weird age gap relationship (think 20/60) would think???? What is her obsession with age like that??

NOT THE SUGAR DADDY LMAOOO she’s so obsessed with age and for what??? do y’all remember that part in acosf where nesta’s like saying gwyn is like a child to cassian when nesta’s like the same age as her… i cannot with this series istg.

anon, this ask made me cringe (not at you). the fact that she wrote that is CRIMINAL 🙈

it’s SO bad, anon. it’s not even funny at this point. why would she write something like that??? genuinely, genuinely, what was going through her mind when she wrote that?

i just checked the quote where alis mentions her grandsons, and it implied that they’re still children after over 50 years. it could be a disconnect between faeries and high fae, but the illyrians don’t age in the same way alis’ grandsons seemed to. it’s also just really boring to make all the actual faeries with actually interesting traits be freaking background characters. and i don’t understand what the point was in writing that then going back on it in future books. like… why???

and then there’s the whole unacknowledged fact that tamlin has been hounded on and harassed by amarantha since he was a freaking child. that’s so disturbing, and there are STILL people who say tamlin should’ve given himself up to her to protect his court. like that’s genuinely such a disgusting thing to say. imagine thinking giving in to a tyrant is a better alternative to fighting for freedom till the end… it’s giving edgy tumblr, and not in a good way.

this also happens a lot throughout the series. sjm will write something for a brief dramatic effect in that moment, which will have bigger consequences because it will affect the quality of the story later on. istg, half the bad parts of this story would not have made it to print if sjm had a halfway decent editor.

a lot of this is also due to the disconnect between the first book and the future ones. many people say that the first book seems more whimsical than the others, which is very much true. the characters have a different way of aging than the humans to act on the theme of fae being very different than humans. whereas, when feyre’s made fae in the future books, this no longer becomes necessary and everything’s altered.

on a side note, some of these examples are so absurd, i can’t believe they’re real, anon 😭 sjm makes so much money from acotar. she should be treating this book series way more seriously. her fan base is so loyal, and she’s got no respect for them, their time, or their money. they never hold her accountable for jack shit so she gets away with contrived bullshit like this. it’s so pathetic.

[oppatxtme]

Christian Yu: The Eve

x Christian Yu x

Note: Read at Your Own Risk ~~ (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง Type: One Shot [ masterlist ]

A/N: This is a request from an Annon. I know it took a while but hope y’all like it. BTW. Happy New Year friends! ♥

-----

'Is she not coming to work?'

"Hey, Scott!" Christian called his friend when he saw him walked past his door from the hall.

Scott walked and stop to peek at Christian's studio.

"What's up?" he asked while still looking at his phone.

"How's the photoshoot yesterday?" Christian asked about the shoot scheduled for Live and you are one of the editors.

"It went according to our theme. But it lasted longer than expected because it suddenly snowed a little during the shoot." Scott explained. "Why?" he managed to look away from his phone screen and look at Christian.

"Oh, so, what time did you guys finish?" Christian asked not answering Scott's question.

"Maybe around 3 am," Scott answered. He decided to sit on the sofa inside Christian's studio - thinking that this might take a while. He knew Christian and asking questions without answering his - only means that somethings going on.

"I see. So I guess most of the crew will not be coming today since you guys finished late." Christian said while taking a spin at his chair.

"Not really. I think they'll be here doing the edit and all." Scott said still looking at Christian.

Christian tried to avoid Scott's gaze.

"Really? So maybe I can take a look at the scene later with Y/N." Christian said and turn his back from Scott to face his monitor.

'Smooth.' Scott thought and can't help but smirked at his friend's childish game. He's avoiding directly asking about Y/N because of the drunk accident happening before.

*** 3 weeks ago, the crew decided to go out for a dinner then drink after to celebrate Christian's debut. But just as everyone getting ready to go home. You're so wasted that you confessed to Christian without minding the few people remaining outside the pub.

All were shocked because they didn't expect you to confess at all. All of them have an idea that you have feelings for Christian for years - but Christian's so dense and treat you as a little sister at that time. He did not expect it and he was so dumbfounded that he laughed it out and saying that he only sees you as his lil'sister.

"Thank you, Y/N - but you're my little sister that I never had. I'm sorry." Christian said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Yes, you were drunk at that time. And you wished you forgot everything that had happened to that point. But it was impossible. Now you know that it was all a lie when people said they forget everything that happened to them when they're wasted. LIES!

But even if you remembered everything - you acted that you forgot about it. It was not like you, but being rejected face to face - it fvcking hurts!

You can't afford to lose your dream job just because of your drunken mistake.

You acted that everything is good between you and Christian - but it is noticeable that you're putting a distance between the two of you.

****

"I think you can check the raw ones with her assistant later." Scott get up from the sofa and was about to leave.

"Huh? Why her assistant? Where's Y/N?"

"She's taking a rest for the day. I think she catches a cold during the shoot. I'm planning to check on her later. We know how she can be when it snows. You're welcome to join me if you want." Scott dropped a teasing tone towards Christian.

"Ah. Okay. Just call me when you're going." Christian said not noticing Scott's teasing.

----

Christian can't focus on his work. He keeps ending up thinking about you.

He looked at his phone - checking if Scott text him about going to your place but he sighed when he sees nothing.

He can already admit that this is not like him at all. He told you that he only sees you as a friend - he even regards you as his little sister. But something inside him disagree.

'Do I like-love her?' Christian questioned himself. But it was cut-off when his phone rang.

It was from Scott.

"Hey. Wait a sec - I'll just save my files." Christian said right after answering.

"About that, I can't go to Y/N right now. Mr. Ahn called and requesting a meeting with Dabin." Scott said.

"Did you call Y/N?" Christian asked.

"Not yet. I tried calling to see if she's alright but she's not answering. Maybe she's just sleeping. We can visit her later - after work."

"No. I can check her now since I already shut down my PC." Christian said as he walked out from his studio.

Scott smirked because he knew well that Christian never shutdown his PC at his studio.

"Okay. Call me when you get there." Scott ended the call.

---

You were dreaming about someone was knocking at your door and keep pressing the doorbell. The doorbell gets louder every time that it woke you up.

Then you realized that it was not a dream but someone really is knocking at your door.

'Maybe it's Scott. He did mention that he will drop by'. You thought as you tried your best to get up.

You opened the door.

"Are you planning on breaking my door Sco-C-Christian! How..?" you can feel your face burning up.

"I came instead of Scott," he said avoiding your eyes.

"I see," you said. Both of you just standing there between the door. 'Okay, this is awkward'.

"Are you okay...?" Christian asked and managed to meet your eyes.

It's hard for you to stop the cough because your throat is just itching.

"I'm okay now, so you don't have to..." you looked down. Not really wanting for Christian to see you at this state. But suddenly your vision got dizzy and that made you lean forward.

Christian caught you.

"You're not okay at all." He said.

You can't tell if he's mad or worried. He guided you to your bed. And you keep coughing all the time. You want to stop so he can't see but it's really not that easy.

'I'm here now, but I don't know what to do for her. I can feel that Y/N doesn't like me here, I'm sure this situation is stressful for her'. Christian thought. 'I guess I need to try and help her feel better...'

"Did you already eat something?" Christian asked you while you're fixing the pillow at your back to sit properly.

"No," you said.

"Good thing I brought rice porridge. Eat this, then take the medicine." He said while taking out the porridge from the paper bag he had.

"I'm fine." you insisted. You just want him to leave and you can sleep. But for some god's play - your tummy decided to protest.

"Just eat." Christian tried his best to not laugh. He handed you the container for the porridge.

"Okay..." you said helplessly.

---

"Thank you for the porridge..." you said as Christian took the container from your hand.

"Now take the medicine, and go to the hospital tomorrow for an IV drip." He said as he hands you a glass of water.

"A-*cough* cold like this will be over once I slept on it. I don't have to go." you took meds and the glass of water.

"You're not going to go? When you're this sick?" Now he really sounded worried.

"I'm really all right, Christian... You can go now..." you insist as you tried to put the glass on your side table but he stops you and leans forward to get the glass from your hand. And put his hand at your forehead. You automatically closed your eyes when you felt the warmth from his hand.

"No way. At your condition right now..." Christian said. "You're burning up..." he was shocked because he was not expecting you to be this sick.

"I'm fine..." you opened your eyes. Then there you realize how you and Christian's face is so close. You can't help but blush.

Christian realizes the situation and immediately put away his hand from your forehead. "J-just go to the hospital. Darn it!"

You can't help but smile a little. You find him cute.

Christian stands up. "Try to lie back down. I'll go get a wet towel for you."

"Okay..." you said. You guess that it's no use arguing with him. As you lie down. You can't help close your eyes as you tremble. "Ugh... it's cold..."

"You're cold?" Christian saw you.

You opened your eyes and he was standing at the end of your bed. You got up.

"Just a little... I just need to put more clothes on." You said as you tried to get off the bed and walk to your closet.

"No." Christian stopped you from getting up. "You have to bring your fever down. All you need is to change into a T-shirt and shorts instead. Wait. I'll get that for you."

"Huh? W-what?"

Christian walked towards your closet and as if he owns it, he easily finds your clothes and throws it at you.

"I'm turning the light out." and he did turn off the lights.

You have no choice but change. You felt that your clothes already wet from your sweat. When you finished changing, Christian sit beside your bed and gently put the wet towel on your forehead.

"Ian, you should really go now..." you said in between your coughs.

'How can I go when you're like this?' Christian thought as he looked at you.

You felt him get up. You closed your eyes. 'Finally, he's leaving.' you thought.

Christian sighed.

"Move over a bit." you heard him.

You opened your eyes not really understood what he said. But the next thing you know that Christian slip his body beside you - in the bed. Your body automatically moved from the side to give him space.

Now Christian is hugging you from the back. If the two of you are dating - then this might be normal - cuddling you as you're feeling cold. But the two of you are way far from dating!

'Shit! What is he doing! What is he thinking?! I don't know if this will help me or it will make it worse.' You can't help but worry. You need to calm down because you're not sure if Christian can feel how your heartbeat is running wild.

"You'll be less cold like this," Christian said. Every word he said, you can feel the warmth of his breath from the side of your ear.

"C-Chris-tian... you don't really have to-"

"Just stay still. I'll leave once you fall asleep." Christian said firmly. "You'll be asleep soon since you took the medicine."

'How in God's way can I be still in this situation?! God-someone please save me!'

"Y/N. Close your eyes and go to sleep," Christian said.

You closed your eyes. But really not know how you can fall asleep with the fact that you can feel his body heat.

You don't know if it's the fever or because of him, but you feel dizzy and your mind is a mess.

But one thing is clear.

Your heart is beating so fast and the warmth from Christian's arms that you don't feel cold anymore.

You tried to close off your heart - as best as you could. But Christian's warmth is slowly melting down the walls you barely created.

"Christian Yu... why are you doing all this for me? It's like... as if you love me... How can I push you away if you're going to be like this?" you froze when you realized that you voice out your thoughts.

Christian's arms around your waist tighten.

"You're right," Christian said as he leans closer that you can feel his breath from your right ear. "I do love you and I was a fool when I denied that fact - something that obvious. I know for a long time that I treated you differently from anyone else. I'm sorry if I pretend and fight what I was feeling just because I don't want to admit that what I said before was wrong."

You tried to move to face him but Christian stopped you and buried his head between your neck. He also holds your hand and tightens his embrace.

"Please. Let me hold you like this as you fall asleep. I promise I will leave as soon as your temperature goes down."

You said nothing and just pulled him closer to you.

'I think this is a good reason to love the snow season.' You slept smiling while at Christian's embrace.

---

[ masterlist ]

[princebensxlo]

My tumblr will become Eren and Daenerys defense squad, and Jon and Mikasa protect from slander. Like Reddit people are putting Eren and Dany together and saying “killed by nephew/sister”.

Mikasa Ackerman is not even Eren JAEGER’s sister. My man LITERALLY SAID “I’m not your brother nor your kid”, so many times. Western people oft misinterpret the way Japanese relations are often described like???? They have their customs too, and I’m sorry for your lack of reading comprehension. If you were watching Attack on Titan just for the blood and plot; good for you. But at least don’t come and spill shit if you don’t even try to make some research, read a damn thing, good reviews, and educate yourself before making a statement or sharing your opinion. If you didn’t like the ending, good for you, neither did I (lol, to some point. I’m STILL GRATEFUL THO AND IM NOT DISRESPECTING THE AUTHOR NOR REWRITING HIS CHAPTERS, y’all)

Dunno where you get your stupid “incest thing” based in the fact of the Eren’s waity/chapter 123. And Mikasa’s answer of “you’re family”. I can totally understand if people are confused about this, it’s okay. But certain chad stans and delusional shippers claiming to still be incest cuz Eren sees Mikasa as a “sister”, when even THE author himself said that he was confused as to why people would claim that, for he made it evident MULTIPLE times throughout the manga that it was otherwise. And for people that says “they barely interacted, Eren treated Mikasa as shit”. Were you even watching aot with open eyes? I certainly noticed that change of feelings. AS TO HOW EREN USED TO BE ‘ANNOYED’ to Mikasa’s protection, to finally making peace with it, thanking her, ‘ILL WRAP THE SCARF AROUND YOU’. When she got hurt (this is something we only saw in the manga) BUT LETS TALK ABOUT EREN’S MEMORIES. From all the tiny pieces of his memories that we know of, Mikasa was always the centerpiece of them. Isayama drew the panel of kid Eren wrapping his scarf around her many times that seriously, are y’all blind or just ignorant? But hear me out because this same people are rocking chair enthusiasts so I don’t know what to think of them. They were literally harassing the editor, Isayama, the VA’. Hell, they were harassing half of Japan if possible. So disrespectful in truth. I’m just waiting for Isayama’s interview and his perspective of Eren’s character conclusion, plus Eremin’s convo. Anyway...

NOW AS FOR DANY. I’ve been in this fandom for two years now. I’ve gone through my Stark phase and my Targaryen phase. I’ve seen every argument (nah, every day people comes with more ridiculous things) I’ve saved my own opinion, often just sharing it casually with my friends, and genuinely trying to enjoy the content in the fandom. But ugh, it’s impossible. So if you wanted your beloved queen Sansa to put Dany in her place, and just being a Dany Anti as always and a Stark-ending enthusiast of your beloved season 8, so be it. Let me invite you to Jon Snow, Daenerys Targaryen and probably Jaime and Tyrion’s funerals. They died of character assassination, killed by the horrible writing. My opinion is that their conclusion could’ve been sooooo much better, in reality. But DANY’s overall. She was one of the main characters and at least, she deserved that. If you were planning of her going “mad”, you could have give us more “hints”, but that’s bullshit for its so out of character. And even if it wasn’t, you could at least put, again, more hints. Now, why people thought Eren Jaeger was so “out of character” is beyond stupid. It’s clear that the boy grew up but was still a kid, and he’s known to be so emotional. WHAT DID YOU THINK?? THAT HE WAS JUST GOING TO DITCH HIS FRIENDS LIKE THAT?

Going back to Dany. She should’ve just grabbed her dragons and her army and let the ungrateful lords and lady of Winterfell to their own luck. That just proves that no matter what you do, or how hard you tried; even if a threat is looming over you, conflict would never end, cuz northern lords didn’t accept Dany but still took her armies and dragons, okkkk

MY POINT IS THAT WTF ISAYAMA? You knew that conflict would never end no matter what. But you still made Eren a mass-murderer, a genocide and all that stuff. U better explain

[uzumaki-rebellion]

Curious minds want to know, how old are you? And when did you first get into writing? What made you want to start writing? Were you always this good? 😉

I’m grown grown.  Lol! I just earned my Auntie status! Most women are raised to want a man and kids but all I wanted was to be the cool Auntie who lived a cool life and be that person that everyone always wanted to have around. And I became that chick! Bucket list check!

I’ve been writing since I was a kid. I am a voracious reader. I started writing in journals first, then making my own little comic strips, and making up little plays. A friend introduced me to writing scripts a few years ago, but I  just wanted to be a history teacher and gave that up. I wrote a bunch of Black Western Epics and Black Supernatural books for fun, but never actively tried to publish. I just loved making shit up about people who looked like me. I also started collecting myths/legends/folktales from the Black Diaspora. Just really reading a lot. About 8 years ago I started running with a serious professional sci fi/fantasy writing crowd because I went to a lot of conventions and fucked with fandom heavily. I’m from San Diego so we have the biggest con here, Comic-Con International. Knowing pro writers gives you access, so I started sending stuff out. I’ve been published in books and magazines and I’m slowly getting back into screenwriting. I would like to create a Black supernatural/horror TV show, make a lot of money and go live on an island with a parrot that cusses and eat plantains, peas and rice, and tacos all the time. But now there’s a pandemic and that parrot has to wait. 

3 years ago I hated how Black women were treated/depicted in all media so I started reading Black romance books to see Black women being loved up and just to lift my spirits and embrace my natural freak nasty kinks. But I was kind of bummed because none of the big trade publications were selling the stuff I wanted to read. I discovered indie publishing on Amazon and read a bunch of stuff. I got it in my head that I wanted to write erotic romances for Black women. I went to a Black women’s writing conference down south and found my people! Black women who wrote smut in all genres! God is good. I needed a break from trying to publish sci fi/fantasy.  A lot of my writing friends were getting published and winning big sci fi awards (a lot are Black women too!). However, I just wanted to free write like I did as a kid. Writing for pro publications is a grind, especially working with editors and trying to hustle, and also dealing with rejection. I just really wanted to get back to writing for fun and joy and just telling a story with amazing Black women in it.

And then Black Panther happened.

T’Challa said “Hi” to Nakia.

M’Baku said “We have watched from the mountains...” to Wakanda.

And Killmonger said “I’m just feelin’ it” Then choked a bitch.

I was ready! *cue Elmo on fire with arms raised”

At first, I just wanted to tell N’Jobu’s story because no one had written it in the fanfics, and then I found a great excuse to write the stuff that I love: Black love, Black joy, Black eroticism/smut, Black women being the center of the universe. Bonus: I have no deadlines, I don’t have to line edit or be perfect for an editor or change anything that I don’t want. I can be melodramatic, cheesy, indulgent, give myself fan service, steal Black actors I love and make them the stars when the real world overlooks their beauty and talents. Extra bonus: I have fun again with writing while doing it.

I was always a good writer in my head. I never planned on being a writer, but I had to because no one else was writing what I wanted to read. I am very well-read in fiction and non-fiction, and I got tired of not seeing me. I say this all the time, Octavia E, Butler told us to write ourselves in. So I had to get random stories out of my head and get it on paper.

Writing these fics allows me to write like I did as a kid. I write and just post. I don’t correct anything. Mind you, I have gone back and read some of my stuff and said, “Sheesh, I should do a couple of spelling/grammer/ repeat words/phrases corrections on all this shit!” In my real life writing I do a lot of passes: Spelling checks, grammar checks, dialogue checks, re-writing, re-writing, re-writing...more re-writing. That’s what pros do. This would kill me writing fanfics. I just want to get the story out even though I do cringe when I see mistakes that my regular writing life would never let me allow to see the light of day. But I allow it in my fanfics because I’m tapping into joy and not trying to please an editor.

This is probably the opposite of what many fanfic writers aspire to. I know many springboard writing fanfics into a pro career. I know a few  BNF writers who have done that. I have sat with one literally eating chips as she wrote her next pro book that became a movie and tv series while we were shooting the shit about Comic con. Fanfic writers on this path work really hard to get their words perfect with Beta readers, and re-writing. They are learning the craft and how to write the thing. I love that.

But, me personally, chile I ain’t got time for that, I’m just trying to ease my anxiety. Black Panther was a balm for me. So when y’all read my stuff and see typos/ spelling mistakes and shit and think “Man, she should’ve gone over this to correct stuff, I’m over here doing a shoulder shimmy cuz I refuse to do none of that. I’se free! I can just write without my perfectionism anxiety.

I always give long ass answers during this pandemic. Thank you for your question. It’s more than you asked for probably!

[leroiloup]

「    this is a total, 100% “woe-is-me” negativity post, so be warned. I try not to post anything too personal or emotional on this blog, but the truth is, I need an outlet right now. I don’t have a personal tumblr anymore, and tbh, I don’t really want to put this on FB where all my IRL friends would see it. I’m putting this under a read more so y’all can scroll on by and not worry about it. But also, it’s here, so it ain’t a secret. If you want to watch a train wreck, read on.

» » » The moral of this story is going to be that for the next couple of days, I’m gonna be less present on the dash, and just tending to my drafts ( along with developing my OC more because he brings me joy rn ).

Wow, you clicked the Read More. Aren’t you a sick fuck ? Just kidding, you’re my kind of people. I hope your popcorn is ready. If are you continuing, I’d like to give you some disclaimers : literally none of the following is directed at any one individual or group of individuals. There is not an ounce of guilt that’s meant to be transferred. This is 100% my own bullshit as I’m dealing with me. I’m going to complain about RP, but please keep that in mind ; this is all about my own insecurities.

To start, everyone is dealing with a lot right now, let’s not have any delusions about that. Shit in general fucking blows. Personally speaking, I don’t like talking about my emotions or the things truly bothering me. I guarantee that if I ever whine about something, then there’s something much deeper that’s effecting me. As of right now, I’ve identified both : the surface issue that I’m taking my frustrations out on, and the deeper problems that’s the root of what’s going on.

So let’s start with the the deep shit, shall we ? This’ll give better insight as to why I’m struggling mentally with RP at the moment. I’m the kind of person IRL that’s a loner. I’m in my 30′s, but I’ve never had a serious relationship in my life. I don’t have a lot of friends ( but I do have a couple of really good ones ). I tend to just deal with shit on my own. I live alone, I take care of myself. And honestly, all of that is ok because there’s something magical that I have had : my career. I moved to the other side of the country at a young age by myself with one goal, and that was to edit film trailers. And goddamn it, in April 2019, I DID IT ! I mean, I’ve been in that industry since day 1, climbing the ladder, but last April, I was promoted to editor. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I still had a long way to go to prove myself, but I felt like my whole life was worth it for the place that I made it to. Well, this past March ( yes, just 2 weeks shy of my 1st year mark as an editor ) I was laid off due to COVID. Now, I’ve gotten a couple of odd editing jobs here and there, but I’m floundering. I suddenly can’t pay my bills, I can’t even buy proper groceries, but worst of all ? I just sit around all day. Alone. In my apartment. With no sense of direction or purpose. I feel like I lost a whole part of myself ; like I lost who I am as a human being. It’s this terrible, downward spiral of feeling like I don’t even exist anymore. Like who am I without the one thing I identified myself as ? Do I even matter anymore ? My friends are still working, but I’m.... not. I may not have been the pretty one, the witty one, the interesting one, or the loved one, but goddamnit, I was the independent one. I didn’t live a glamorous life, but I have a sweet apartment in a great area all by myself, and traveled, and treated myself to expensive clothing. I lived that Destiny Child’s Independent Woman life. And now ? It’s a big deal trying to decide if I can afford to buy cheese for my turkey sandwiches.

So let’s move this sob story onto the superficial, dumbass things that are bothering me. Like that’s real world shit right ? But I don’t like dwelling on real world problems. I handle it and move on. Yet my heart still hurts so I tend to focus on something less important as my excuse. Enter literally the only other thing I have going on rn RP. Man, I have the best writing partners and the best threads, let me tell you ! When I say I love my dash, I’m not just blowing smoke up y’all’s asses. I mean it. Sometimes I just sit and stare at my drafts in awe. But lately, my brain is frustrated. See, I’m not the Indie RP type. I can’t deal with a thousand different threads and interact with everyone, as much as I’d like to. My brain just doesn’t work that way. I prefer to live in my small corner and have a partner with whom our muses are deeply developed. Like full on universes with stories about different parts of their relationship’s timeline and with NPCs and fucking pinterest boards and shit. Y’all know what I’m talking about. A partner who tags me in shit because they see a post on their dash and it made them think of me. A partner who can just send my muse random asks about shit because they’re bored. A partner I can throw wild fangirly comments at in DMs at all hours of the day because something inspired me, or something made me think of our muses. You see, I had it once. On my Dean Winchester account, I met someone and our muses man... we didn’t plan that shit but they clicked and we were inseparable. It was so amazing. But I can’t write Dean anymore and even though I’m still very good friends with that mun IRL, they don’t write anymore. I feel like I’ve been chasing that high ever since, but it’s just gone.

Like, I just did that positivity night, right ? I really needed the boost and nothing helps like giving out compliments, and it worked. Believe me. I was so tickled by the responses and getting to force myself to think of wonderful things about my partners ( which is easy to do, lbr ). But a couple of people went above and beyond and sent it in as a request for someone else. God, how fucking cool ? But then my stupid brain takes over and reminds me that I don’t have a partner going out of their way like that for me. And god, what a selfish thing to think, right ? This is all good vibes, and I genuinely wanted to make other people smile, but I can’t help but have half my mind say “but what about me ?”. So lame. Especially since I never ask for help so who is even gonna know that need the pick me up ? Ugh. But I’m too chickenshit to ever send someone a meme to make them compliment me. Hell, I’m too chickenshit to like people’s posts when they ask for mains. A voice in my head is like “nah man, keep that shit for other, more qualified candidates. You have good threads, calm down.” But I dunno, sometimes I feel like I have a ton of threads, but that’s all they are ? The fillers ? Sure, it’s great writing, but it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s not meant to build anything for people, it’s just to give them something to do to pass the time while they’re building universes with their mains.

Could I be more selfish ? Like really. But that’s the thing : it’s my desolate feeling of complete lack of purpose in life bleeding into the one thing I’m trying to keep my mind distracted with. Do I hate RP ? No. Do I resent anyone on my dash ? Fuck no ! I love all of you and I’m incredibly grateful for anyone that interacts with me. But sometimes I see some magical friendships here and I just... I want that, man. I miss it. I want purpose again, in any facet of my life. I want to be excited again ; about ANYTHING. I’m tired of bobbing around like a cork on the sea of life. 

I wish I meant more.    」

[empyreanwritings]

The Cure to Heartbreak

Pairing: Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader, Ex!Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: loads of language, break up angst, mentions of alcoholism, suggestive themes

Summary: An impromptu road trip with your neighbor is exactly what you needed to get over your ex. 

A/N: Y’all, I watched Someone Great on Netflix and then I somehow ended up with 4k words worth of Biker!Bucky. It may be a little all over the place, but I wanted to place emphasis on the reader realizing her worth outside of a relationship, ya feel? Let me know what you think! x

Waking up to your best friend pulling the curtains open and blinding you wasn't the way you wanted to start your day. In fact, you didn't want to start your day at all. You planned on wallowing in your bed all day - avoiding all responsibilities and pretending like you didn't get your heart ripped out of your chest the night before.

Peter Quill was supposed to be the love of your life. You two met at a party your freshman year of college and hit it off quickly. At first, you didn't see him as anything more than a one-night stand. It was your chance to be slutty! You had just moved to the city far, far away from your parents, and you wanted to be a little reckless. But reckless never worked out for you.

When Quill brought you breakfast in bed the morning after, you knew you were a goner.

Five years. That asshole let you be in love with him for five whole years before he told you he met another woman, who he just "connected" with at work.

Thing had been rocky for the past few months. You got one of the editor positions at Stark publishing, and you let it take over most of your life. But could anyone blame you? Being an editor was something you worked for your entire college career. It was all you ever wanted to do besides becoming an actual author.

But you didn't think rocky meant you were pushing him into someone else's arms.

As much as you wanted to hate him, you couldn't do anything besides blame yourself. You let work become a priority, and somewhere along the way, you stopped showing Quill how much you truly loved him. Maybe it was all your fault, but you liked to think he could have stepped up and said something. He could have tried to save what you two had before falling in love with another woman.

Another woman with a stupid name, you might add.

"Not today," you groaned and pulled a pillow over your face.

"Oh no, you are not wallowing today!" Wanda scolded as she ripped the pillow away from you. "Get up, we're going to brunch with Carol and Peter."

"Tell them I'm too sick."

Wanda rolled her eyes. "You are not too sick. You're just a big baby."

You tried to fake cough for emphasis, but she wasn't having it. She grabbed your ankles and practically threw you off your bed. And when you glared up at her from the pile of blankets you grabbed in surprise, she just stared back at you completely unfazed. The woman was persistent.

"I brought you bagels from your fave," she held up a brown paper bag but kept it away from your reach, "You get them once you've taken a shower and gotten dressed! And I mean it on the shower, girl, you look crusty."

You glanced down at your hair, which still had hairspray in it from last night. You had meant to take a shower, but you were so distraught that Quill broke up with you at your anniversary dinner, you forgot. Well, you didn't forget, per say - you were a little too drunk to figure out how to work your own shower.

A shower sounded terrific, but you barely had any energy to stand, let alone clean yourself. Thankfully, Wanda could see your hesitation and pushed you towards your bathroom. She even made sure your face wash and favorite body wash were on the edge of the tub for you to use, which brought a small smile to your face. Sometimes, you forgot how great of a friend Wanda could be when you needed her most.

You decided halfway through your shower that your sadness would go down the drain with your shampoo. Being miserable wouldn't change the fact that Quill no longer wanted to be with you. Being miserable did nothing except make you look pathetic, and you refused to be the pathetic one in this break up.

And when you stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your body and steam pouring out from behind you, you felt yourself smile. Even if it was a little forced.

---

"If I drink another mimosa, I swear I'm going to puke OJ all over Carol's shirt," you moaned, giving your stomach a small pat. "But damn, they went so well with that French toast."

Peter nodded as he stared as his half eaten Belgian waffle. "I want to eat it, but my stomach might burst."

Carol looked between the two of you and shook her head, making it a point to snatch the waffle off Peter's plate and stuff it into her mouth. She managed to eat all her food, drink four mimosas, and she still wasn't ready to quit. When she committed to a brunch outing, she committed. And you didn't miss the way she called you babies through her mouthful of food.

Brunch started out more emotional than you cared to admit. By your second mimosa, you were spilling all the details of your breakup. How everybody gave you sympathetic looks when you stormed out, and how the hostess gave you a free meal voucher on your way out because she felt terrible for you. She probably cringed when she saw the mascara running down your cheeks, but you didn't care. Free food was free food.

You teared up. Your friends listened until you started crying into your egg's benedict - that was when Carol smacked the back of your head.

Once all the emotional shit was out of the way, you had a nice time. The four of you ate more food than your stomachs could bare. Peter talked about his date with MJ, which he didn't want to do at first (he claimed he didn't want to make you feel bad, but your baby boy was dating! How could you be upset?) And all was good.

Until Peter fucking Quill walked into the café with his new girl.

Not even a full twenty-four hours after your break up.

"Do you want me to kill him?" Carol asked, her glare on full display.

"I'll clean up the evidence," Peter added.

"And I'll help bury the body," Wanda said with a coy smile, clinking her glass against Peter's.

You shook your head. "No. If he wants to be with that woman then let him. She's got cheap pink streaks in her hair, so who's really thriving?"

While your words were confident, you could feel yourself breaking down. The urge to down an entire bottle of champagne crept right back up, and you hated yourself for it. Drinking wasn't a bad thing but drinking when you were emotional was. You always did it at the worst of times, and it was why your sister thought you were an alcoholic to this day.

You sucked in your cheeks and excused yourself quietly, trying not to bring too much attention to your table. They wanted to follow you out, but you reassured them you'd be right back. You just needed to get some air.

Your heart beat so rapidly, you could feel it jump to your throat. You were almost certain you were going to burst into tears at any moment, and you weren't sure which one was more embarrassing: crying over your ex or crying over your ex next to a dumpster that reeked of sun-cooked booze.

The rumble of a motorcycle pulled you out of your thoughts. You peeked around the corner of the alley and saw Bucky Barnes, the only normal neighbor on your floor. You hadn't run into him on your way in last night, but you were sure he heard you shamelessly singing Lizzo at the top of your lungs.

Oh god, you were a terrible neighbor.

"Y/N?" Bucky called out before you could retreat towards the dumpster.

"Hey!" You heard your voice crack, and you quickly cleared your throat. "Sorry, hey. What are you doing here?"

"Were you crying by that dumpster?"

You let out a watery laugh and tried to run your fingers through your already tangled hair. "Whaaat? No way! I-I…I totally was."

He hummed, trying to hide the smile creeping up on his face. "Does this have anything to do with the concert I got last night?"

"Fuck, I am so sorry about that. I was drunk - the kind of drunk that sings Truth Hurts at three in the morning."

"It's okay, really," he laughed. "I had gotten home only a few minutes before. Me and Steve were out celebrating with Sam on his new promotion."

You released a relieved breath. So, you weren't a terrible neighbor, just an obnoxious one.

Bucky's gaze flickered to the inside of the café, and you almost questioned what he was looking at when you turned and saw him staring right at Quill.

They weren't big fans of each other. Quill always got insanely jealous when he found out Bucky was hanging out at your place for a movie night or a game night, which Bucky wasn't a fan of. He thought it was childish.

He didn't ask what Quill was doing with another woman. He didn't ask what prompted you to get drunk and sing last night or cry by a dumpster just a few minutes prior to his arrival. He didn't need to. It was obvious what was going on, and he hated Quill for treating you like that.

You deserved so much better.

"Get on," he said as he held out his helmet for you.

"What?"

"Get on," he repeated with a shrug. "I wanna take you somewhere."

"I can't just leave. My friends are-"

Someone tapped on the window behind you, and you laughed when you saw it was Peter practically smushed up against it. He gestured to the hunk of a man behind you and made a waving motion that resembled something along the lines of "Go, crazy bitch! Don't say no!"

And you weren't sure if it was the encouragement of your friends or the fact that now Quill was looking directly at you from the counter, but you turned around and took the helmet from Bucky without another thought.

You wanted to ask where you were going, but you knew he wasn't going to tell you. Bucky seemed like the type who enjoyed being mysterious way too much.

Spontaneous adventures weren't your forte. You liked planning your trips out as much as you possibly could. When you and Wanda took a road trip down to New Orleans, you made sure every minute was planned - even what rest stop you were going to stop at. You liked knowing, you liked having a schedule.

You learned very quickly that Bucky wasn't that type of person. He had no idea where you were going when he asked you to get on his bike, and you started to realize that when he took random exits that didn't lead to the same place.

Every now and then, you found yourself standing and holding your arms out, letting the wind wrap itself around you. You had no idea where you were going, but you were going to make the most of it. You thought about pulling your helmet off at one point just to feel the wind in your hair, but Bucky reached back and pinched your thigh the second your fingers touched the straps.

He was a stickler for motorcycle safety, apparently.

It didn't feel like a long drive, though. It wasn't until you started to see signs for Atlantic City that you realized you had been driving for at least two hours. You should have been more aware of where you were going, but you enjoyed the ride too much. It was easy to lose yourself a bit.

"What the hell are we doing here?" You gasped once Bucky found a spot closest to the boardwalk. "You seriously drove us two hours away from the city!"

"Do you want to go back?" He wasn't asking to be mean. If you genuinely wanted to go home, he would turn right around and not complain.

The mist coming from the beach hit your face, and you could smell the fried food from some of the pier vendors. You weren't hungry by any means, but something about the smell of fried Oreos always made your mouth water.

"No," you replied after a moment, "No, I don't want to leave."

"Good." Bucky smiled over at you, and you couldn't stop yourself from smiling back at him. Something about that man's happiness was contagious. Every time he smiled, you had to fight the urge to smile as well. But today, you weren't going to fight it. You were going to be happy. Spontaneous. Definitely not sad over Peter fucking Quill.

He took your hand and led you down the boardwalk, assuring you that he knew where he was taking you now. You didn't believe him for one second, but you let him lead you nonetheless.

"I know the couple who owns this casino," he stated as he pulled you towards Ocean. "I did maintenance here before I moved to the city, and they really took care of me. I know they can give us VIP access to the rooftop party."

"How do you know there's a rooftop party already?"

He looked over his shoulder at you, "Cause it's Atlantic City. They're always partying here."

---

Your first year of college was something you thought you'd never be able to experience again. You were able to party without needing to get drunk. You danced like no one was watching because you were young, and it didn't matter what other people thought! All that mattered was you were with your best friends.

Today you got to feel that way again.

The pool was filled to the brim with bubbles, and even though you didn't have your bathing suit, that didn't stop you from at least going in ankle deep and tossing some bubbles at Bucky. People crowded the deck, and you constantly squished against his chest just to get through to the other side, but neither of you seemed to mind. And the best part? You had no desire to drink.

Well, you had one shot, but Bucky offered to let you do a tequila shot off his very chiseled, very tattooed physique. How could you turn that down?

But, other than that, you didn't need to drink. You enjoyed every second of the rooftop party, and you planned on remembering it all. It wasn't often you decided to get on someone's motorcycle and drive all the way to Atlantic City with said person.

"I got us a room, by the way," Bucky yelled over the music into your ear.

"You didn't have to do that!"

He scoffed. "You deserve to have some fun, Y/N. This is a city that never sleeps, you need to embrace it!"

You were about to respond to him when you felt your phone vibrate. You held your finger up, letting him know that you were willing to continue the conversation, but you froze when you saw Quill's name flashing across your screen. You hadn't changed his icon photo yet, so a picture of you two kissing was staring right back at you.

"Wow, cold bucket of reality," you mumbled.

Bucky wanted to take the phone away from you - to tell you not to answer - but he didn't have the right. You needed to work through your heartbreak however you needed to. If talking to Quill was what you needed, who was he to stop you?

It helped knowing Quill saw you leave with Bucky. He had to keep himself from smirking the second they made eye contact. And maybe that was what he was calling about.

You shook your head and quickly declined the call. The last thing you wanted was to hear whatever Quill had to say. Whatever excuse he had for moving on so quickly, or whatever issue he had with you hopping on Bucky's motorcycle - you didn't want to hear it. It would only dampen your mood. You deserved better than that.

"Do you want to dance?"

Bucky grabbed your hand and twirled you around. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, pressing your back against his chest. You held back a shiver the second you felt his lips against the shell of your ear.

"I would love to dance," he whispered, eliciting another shiver you couldn't hold back this time.

Being pressed against Bucky, moving to the beat of the music, felt…almost surreal. No one else around you really mattered. Someone could have elbowed you straight in the back, and you wouldn't have noticed. You focused on Bucky's hands on your hips; his fingers occasionally brushing against your exposed skin; or his lips that constantly grazed the side of your neck. It was hard not to lose yourself in the moment.

You didn't want to make Bucky a rebound. You made that decision before you took a shot off his abs.

Bucky was someone you knew you could fall for. You already spent a lot of time together, spent a lot of nights just getting to know each other. He knew things about you that no one else besides Wanda knew, and he wasn't afraid to share the darker parts of him. The first time you had a movie night, he told you about the scarring on his left arm that he covered with tattoos. And he listened when you opened up about leaving your parents behind.

What you two had was special. If it was meant to be something more than platonic, you couldn't ruin that by sleeping with him in the middle of a heartbreak. No matter how badly you wanted to.

"I want to kiss you right now," you confessed once you had a moment alone.

You two escaped the party and moved to one of the indoor pools. Everyone was at the party, so it gave you two the opportunity to enjoy some peace and quiet.

"But I'm guessing you're not going to?" Again, he wasn't malicious when he said this. It was almost as if he understood what you were thinking before you even said it out loud. He was far too understanding, and that made it even more difficult for you.

"I can't."

"I know."

You swirled your feet around in the water, keeping your eyes on the ripples at all times. Looking at him would make you crack right now.

"I can't be upset at Quill for moving on a day later if I do the same," you sighed. "Plus, I know I'm not ready. I want to be, ya know? I don't want to be miserable and think about how much my life is going to change now. I mean, I spent five years of my life with this guy - I had my future based on where we were supposed to be - and now…"

"Now you have to figure out who you are outside of those plans - outside of a relationship."

You nodded. You spent important parts of your life with Quill. You grew up and grew into the relationship with each other. You had no idea who you were by yourself. Single Y/N could be completely different from Quill's long-term girlfriend Y/N.

And you wanted to get to know who she was.

"If you ask me to wait for you, I will."

You quirked an eyebrow at him. "Oh?"

"I mean, I already have been," he chuckled. "And I don't mind waiting a little bit longer."

You pressed a kiss to his cheek, letting your lips linger on his skin a little bit longer than necessary. It was your way of telling him to wait without saying it out loud. You'd never be selfish enough to ask him to wait. If he met someone while you were trying to find yourself, you'd be happy for him. A little disappointed but happy. But if he genuinely wanted to wait and be with you, you would love it secretly.

He linked his fingers with yours and smiled to himself as you rested your head on his shoulder.

"You know," you turned your face up to look up him, curious as to what was about to leave that man's mouth, "I'd be okay with you using me for one night. No strings attached."

You laughed, not sure if he was serious or not. He stayed quiet, but he leaned in less than an inch closer to your face. It wasn't much, but it was enough to get your attention. He was serious. And you weren't sure if that turned you on or terrified you.

"Bucky, I don't want to hurt you," you exhaled shakily.

He shifted next to you and gave you a small smirk. "You can't hurt me, darlin'. I'm a big boy, I know what I'm getting myself into."

The air shifted between you; the electricity was undeniable, you could feel it tingling on your lips. You shouldn't have moved closer. You shouldn't have kissed him, and you definitely shouldn't have slept with him. It was a terrible, terrible idea. The angel on your shoulder warned you about how bad of an idea this could be. But the devil…she really wanted to get laid.

Bucky's thumb brushed your bottom lip, and all your inhibitions flew out the window. You could think about the consequences in the morning.

---

"Make sure to ice that ankle," you teased as you dropped Bucky off at his door.

"You weren't kidding when you said you were going to hurt me, huh?"

You gasped and punched him lightly in the shoulder. Never in your life had you accidentally twisted someone's ankle in the middle of sex. You thought he was trying to mess with you at first - playing around with the whole "you can't hurt me" bit - but when you woke up, it was swollen and blotched with purple.

You were appalled, especially when Bucky started laughing about it. He was never going to let you live it down, and you were dreading it already.

Hey, remember the time you almost broke my ankle during sex?

Hey, do you wanna try that thing again? Oh wait, that's how we sprain ankles.

And here you thought you'd regret the sex because you were using the man. Who would have thought this would have been what you regretted?

"Before you walk through your door, and we go back to being just neighbors," Bucky grabbed the front of your shirt and captured your lips in a deep kiss. You hummed, letting him take his moment to explore every inch of your mouth again. When you pulled away, you were both breathless and staring at each other with lust blown eyes. "Sorry, I had to get one more in."

"Talk about-"

"Y/N?"

Your heads snapped towards your, now open, apartment door. Quill stood there staring at you locked in Bucky's embrace, and you knew by the way his nose flared that he was irritated. He wasn't allowed to be pissed, but break up or not, it probably stung a little bit. Good.

"Remind me to take your key back," you spat at him.

Bucky asked if you wanted him to get rid of Quill, but you shook your head. You appreciated the gesture, but this was what you needed to do. Neither of you got the closure you both clearly needed after your break up. Quill moved on, but it was obvious he didn't want to see you with anyone else, especially Bucky. And part of you was still a mess. A long, mature talk needed to happen to make everything seem a little bit better. Just a little, teeny bit.

You gave Bucky a kiss on the cheek and waved Quill back into your apartment. Bucky reminded you he was just one wall away if you needed him, and you nodded. Thank god for your scary biker neighbor. You always felt safe with him.

Quill waited until the door was closed to turn and look at you. You held out your hand, a look of annoyance written all over your face. He knew what you wanted; you wanted the key to your apartment back, but he wasn't ready. He was the one to end it and fall for another woman but seeing you with Bucky made his stomach twist. He wondered if he was ready to move on after all.

"I think we made a mistake calling it off," he muttered.

You barked out a humorlessly laugh. "Oh, do you?"

"Is that your way of saying you don't want to hear what I have to say? That you're choosing him over me?

You clenched your fists at your side. Hot breath left your lips. You could feel the anger burning at the pit of your belly, and part of you wanted to lunge across the living room and punch him in the throat. A good fist to the throat always seemed to help situations like this. But you stopped yourself from doing so.

Violence wasn't exactly your thing.

"I am not choosing him over you or you over him," you seethed behind clenched teeth. "For once in my fucking life, I'm choosing me because I fucking deserve it."

"What the hell does that even mean?!"

"It means I'm going to be able to make decisions without wondering how you're going to react! It means I'll be able to find out what I love doing outside of a relationship. Maybe pick up a hobby or two, I don't know! There are so many possibilities for me, and I don't know who I'll end up with in the future - emphasis on the future, Quill - but I do know it won't be you!"

He stared at you, the words you said swirling around his mind. He wanted to call you selfish. Your life didn't have to revolve around him, but you could have at least thought about including him in it again. Things had a chance of working out if you wanted it to, but he realized you weren't going to change your mind. No matter how much he wanted you to. Begging was pointless, and he hadn't really thought through coming here in the first place.

He, technically, stood Gamora up to be here. Which would cause him trouble later.

"So, that's it then?" He croaked. "You won't even give us a second chance?"

"When have I ever believed in second chances, Quill?"

"Good point."

You ran your fingers through your hair. The odds of Bucky hearing this entire argument were high. You already had this conversation with him. It wasn't nearly as intense, and you definitely didn't close any romantic doors between you two, but you made it clear you needed to choose yourself for once.

You deserved to love yourself before you loved another person again.

Quill stepped towards you, and you quickly moved back two steps, making sure to keep as much distance between you two as possible. Despite his "I want you back confession," you knew he still had Gamora waiting on the sidelines. He'd be able to go back to her now that you rejected him, but you hoped she came to her senses and left his ass behind, too. The two of you would be able to form a fun ex-girlfriend's club.

"I guess I should go," Quill relented.

You clicked your tongue. "Yeah, I think that's best."

"I'm sorry…for everything."

"Me too, Quill, me too."

A small tear slid down your cheek when he closed the door behind him, and you quickly wiped it away. You didn't want to cry. You didn't want to let yourself admit the conversation affected you.

Less than twenty-four hours ago, you would have jumped for joy knowing Quill wanted you back. If Bucky hadn't whisked you away, you may have gotten back together with him, too. But time away did wonders for a woman's self-worth. You actually owed Bucky a thanks later.

A knock came from the wall that separated your kitchen and Bucky's apartment. When you two were too lazy to walk through the hall, you often did this to talk with each other. It was one step above physically talking in each other's presence and one step below face-timing or talking on the phone.

"I'm proud of you," Bucky said loud enough to hear through the walls. You could hear the smile in his voice, and you smiled too.

"Thanks, Buck," you hummed. "I'm proud of me too."

[thiswasinevitableid]

7 with indruck?

7: I’m assigned to write a piece rounding up all the bad press that you, a famous celebrity, have been getting and you show up in my office and demand me to write a retraction and get the ‘real’ story”. I went SFW

“Dude! You can’t go in there! Hey, wait, dude, hold on!”

Jake’s voice jars Indrid from staring miserably at his computer screen. But it does nothing to prepare him for the stack of papers that slams into his desk. 

“Where the fuck do you get off man?” 

Staring him down is a man with dark hair, mis-matched eyes, a scar down his right cheek, and an extremely pissed-off expression. Indrid recognizes him instantly, both from T.V and his last assignment.

“Mr. Newton?” 

“Yeah, that’s me, the guy you been draggin through the goddam mud!” 

“I-”

“Where are you even gettin this stuff? Substance abuse, bad break-ups, the split between me and my team, who the fuck told you that bullshit?”

“I am not going to reveal my sources.”

“Oh now you get some fuckin ethics?”

“I was just reporting what people told me. I was assigned to round up the press around you now that you’re relaunching your show, and this is what I got. I’m sorry if that upsets you.”

“Upsets me?” Mr. Newton plants his hands on the desk, leaning into Indrid’s space, “buddy, I ain’t even on the same planet as upset right now. I’m actually feelin pretty damn calm, because I know who the fuck is to blame.”

“It’s not my fault” Inrid snaps back, “I got assigned it at random, so if you have issues kindly take them up with Woodbridge.”

“Sir, if you insist on raising a fuss in my office-”

“This him?” Mr. Newton points to Woodbridge as the editor appears from his office. 

“Yes.” Indrid glares at Woodbridge through his glasses; he told him these kind of stories would lead to trouble, and it wasn’t even his usual beat.

He braces for Mr. Newton continuing to escalate, but instead the stocky man takes a deep breath , holding his hands up apologetically.

“Look, I’m real sorry, shouldn’t have come in guns blazin like that, and I know you fellas gotta make a livin same as anyone but this kind of stuff-” he whacks the papers into Indrid’s lap, “y’all gotta remember there’s a human on the other end of it.”

“That’s a very fair point, Mr. Newton-” Woodbridge gestures towards the door.

“A human with a damn good lawyer.”

“Mr.Newton, free speech”

“Protects you from the government, not from the Duck. I don’t mind the break-up nonsense, that happened plenty during the first show. Leo, Minerva, and I have been through every relationship configuration known to man, accordin to papers like yours. But the shit about me drinkin? That could damage my career. So could the reasons your ‘sources’ gave for why the show ended. You tellin me you’d hire a fella who apparently yelled at his co-hosts day in and day out and ‘couldn't hack’ bein’ outdoors?” This last question he directs at Indrid, who shakes his head. 

“Mr. Newton, retracting the story would look very bad for us. However, we’d be more than willing to publish your side of the story.”

“Close, but my word ain’t enough to counter those claims about me bein’ incompetent. I’m goin’ on a month and a half tour to location scout and shoot the first two episodes. I want one of your writers to come with. Specifically, I want him.” He points to Indrid.

“Wait, why me? I’m not a travel writer, and I have a photography assignment due next week.”

“Because you’re the one who caused this mess, slim.”

Indrid starts to protest when Woodbridge turns to with a smirk.

“Start transferring your assignments, Indrid; you’re going on a roadtrip.”

----------------------------------------

Indrid grumbles to himself as he waits on the curb with his bag. Duck, as Mr. Newton has said to call him, told him to pack only one bag, and to bring his camera (“saw your shots when I was researchin you; you might like shootin out on the road”).

A motorcycle pulls up to the curb as he checks the time on this phone. He doesn’t give the vehicle a second look until the rider speaks to him.

“Glad you’re on time.” The helmet comes off, revealing Duck looking much calmer than the last time he saw him, “let’s get your gear on the bike and get goin’.”

Indrid stares at him in disbelief, “were you at any point going to warm me that I’d be doing this whole trip on a death machine?”

“Didn’t think I had to. Figured you knew this was how I traveled now, given all your, uh, thorough research.” Duck fixes him with a shit-eating grin as he straps his bag onto the bike, then hands him a helmet.

Indrid groans, jams the helmet on and awkwardly climbs onto the back of the bike.

“Gonna have to hang onto me, slim.” Duck’s voice crackles through his helmet, “don’t worry, I ain’t gonna bite you, even if I still kinda feel like it.”

“How encouraging.” He loops his arms around the T.V star, winces as the bike pulls out into traffic. There’s a laugh as he tightens his grip in fear, Duck’s body suddenly the only safe thing in the world. 

They zoom onto the freeway, and promptly come to a dead stop in traffic.

“Truly invigorating.” Indrid mutters. 

“Ain’t gonna be much fun until we’re outta the city. And I ain’t about to go zippin’ between lanes to cut ahead; great way to get us both killed.”

As they inch along, Indrid starting to sweat from the heat of the pavement, Duck asks, “did you ever watch the show?”

“Is there anyone who didn’t? Wild World was on every day. I’m fairly certain it’s still all Animal Planet plays some days.”

“Yeah but, uh, did you actually watch it on purpose?” 

“I did, now and then. I found Minerva’s tendency to try more extreme forms of exploration stressful, but I generally enjoyed what I saw. I’m not surprised you’re the one who picked the show back up; you were always oddly compelling on camera, and it was clear it was a passion project for you.”

“Yeah, it really was. Is. Feels weird to be doin’ it without them. Can’t blame ‘em for havin’ their own lives and goals though. Leo was ready to retire after the Gila Monster incident, and Minerva’s wanted to run an adventure bootcamp for years.”

“You know, if you hurry and explain everything in the next ten minutes, you can just pull off there and drop me at the edge of town.”

A chuckle, “Nice try, Indrid. You ain’t gettin outta roughin’ it that easy.”

“It was worth a try. Alaska was the last episode run, right?”

Duck’s posture shifts so subtly that, were he not holding him, Indrid wouldn’t have noticed it. 

“Yeah. Yeah it was. Nothin’ like gettin attacked by a wolf and takin a bunch of rabies shots to the gut to put you off filmin’.” 

“It really was a wolf? Everything I read said-”

“I’d misidentified what attacked us? Yeah, I know. American wolves never really go after humans, that’s why we were so fuckin’ screwed when this one did. Poor fella. He was sick. We coulda proved what happened except I told Leo to destroy the footage and we had a knock down, drag out fight over it until he did.”

“Why on earth would you do that?”

“Because I didn’t want my pain, Minerva’s pain, and the wolf’s pain to become some goddamn viral sensation!” Duck snaps. 

Indrid decides to drop it, feels Duck sag in the drivers seat. In spite of dragging him out into the wilderness, Indrid doesn’t bear Duck any bad feeling. And he doesn’t like seeing him sad. 

“I, ah, I always liked the episodes where you showcased moths and butterflies. Moths are my favorite creatures, they’re so varied but so overlooked.”

Nothing but the traffic around them, then, “I once saw a Luna Moth bigger’n my hand. Didn’t get it on camera but damn was it a stunner.”

“Where did you see it?”

“Now there’s a story…”

By the time Duck finishes the cars are finally moving, and Duck changes them into the lane leading towards the exit for a single lane, county highway. 

“Fuckin’ finally. Alright Indrid, hold tight.”

What follows is simultaneously the most thrilling and most terrifying four hours of Indrid’s life as Duck speeds down the road, win whipping around them and the world going by in a blur that’s much more alarming when not behind metal and glass. They find a rest stop, where Indrid shotguns an entire bag of skittles under Duck’s amused gaze, and get back on the road for an only slightly less terrifying four hours more. 

They stop for the night at a KOA (“you’re lucky, slim, I got us a cabin to ease you into things”). Whereupon Indrid is treated to the sight of Duck stripping off his road gear, back muscular and sporting several scars.

“How are you likin’ life on the road?” Duck asks, not turning but starting to undo his pants. Indrid doesn’t look away until he’s down to his boxers.

“You know, it’s growing on me.”

They make their first shooting destination the next afternoon, setting up camp in a mostly-empty campground before hiking off into the woods. Duck shoots B-roll while Indrid photographs, the pair working in near total silence before meeting up with their contact near a jumble of boulders.

“Nice to see you again, Thacker.” Duck shakes the man’s hand, and gets a pat on the back.

“Good to you too, sport. Who’s the new fella?”

“My biographer.”  Duck deadpans.

Duck spends the rest of the day filming as Thacker helps him find nest and burrows and creatures to shoot and narrate over. In spite of the show being done on a single camera, Duck is compelling as always when he talks about the natural world. 

Indrid just wishes he’d sprung for better hiking boots.

“Ooof.” He mutters, face down on his sleeping bag.

“Not surprised, we did about ten miles all told today.”

“I repeat. Oof.”

A kind, sympathetic laugh, “C’mon, you’ll feel better after some dinner.”

Later that night, as he’s climbing into his sleeping bag, Duck pokes his head into the tent.

“Psst, Indrid, come look.” 

Indrid follows him out, kneels by a clump of flowers when he waves him down. 

“See, look, riiight there” Duck points, “it’s a Hummingbird Moth.”

Indrid gasps, delighted, and watches the pollinator flit from blossom to blossom. Duck sits beside him, answering his questions when he asks them, until it’s too dark for either of them to see.

--------------------------------

Duck never thought he’d have a travel companion again. Not after Alaska, not after the attack and what came in the nights to follow. 

He certainly never assumed the wiry, silvery haired writer who’d nearl fucked everything up would turn out to be that person. But Indrid, for all his initial skepticism, has become an excellent partner. He’s easy going, eccentric enough that Duck’s own quirks don’t phase him, quiet;y awkward, and a damn good photographer. The fact his alienly handsome face has become a bit windburnt and his pale hair a little longer only adds to his charm.

Christ, Duck wants to rip those red glasses off and kiss him until he’s breathless. 

Currently, he’s missing the feeling of long arms around his waist, as he left Indrid back with a family whose jeep had run out of gas. They’re in one of the long, monotonous stretches of desert highway where passersby are few and cell phone service is unreliable, so Duck volunteered to ride ahead to the next gas station and bring some back. As the Jeep comes into view, he sees the family waving. Indrid is leaning against the car, smiling as if Duck is the greatest thing he��s ever seen. 

That settles it; when they make Santa Fe, he’s calling The Weekly Rounds and asking Woodbridge to extend Indrid’s assignment. And if the old man refuses, well, Animal Planet is thrilled to have him back, and made it clear they’d be happy to pay for an additional camera man.

------------------------------

This time they’re the only ones in the campground, and Indrid suspects it might technically be closed. Indrid could do this forever. He wants to stay like this, with Duck, day in and day out, have their evenings be like this. Duck makes a fire, keeping it small to be safe, and the evening progresses like normal, the two of them swapping stories and munching on the dinner they whipped up from leftovers from the last gas station. Then the moon rises, two days from full, and Duck doubles over with a groan. 

“Fuck, fuckfuckfuck.”

“What’s wrong?” Indrid moves to help him, but Duck raises his hand to stop him.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, ‘Drid, fuck, I thought I had another day, thought we could make it somewhere I could keep you safe.”

“Safe from what? Duck, please, you’re hurt, I can call for help, just hold on.”

“No” Duck snarls, still hunched over, “you ain’t callin anyone. What you’re gonna do is run, far and as fast as you can, away from me. Find a tree, find a cave, flag down a car if you can find one. Go, please, fuck.” He falls off the stump he’s sitting on, and in spite of his instructions Indrid tries to help him up.

“Go!” It’s a growl now, and when Duck looks up at him his face is changing shape. Duck drags himself away from the fire, into the shadows, and Indrid turns, starting to run. There’s howl of pain and he stops. He can’t leave Duck like this. He won’t.

Resolute, he turns back to the camp and immediately regrets his decisions. Whatever is in the shadows isn’t human, not anymore. It’s growling low and labored, as it rises onto two feet and howls. 

“Oh fuck me.” Indrid doesn’t dare turn his back, tries to slowly creep away and trips on a stray piece of firewood. The monster lowers to all fours, padding into the firelight across from him. It’s fur is dark and shaggy, it’s hands sport claws and when it opens it’s mouth to grin at him it’s teeth glitter like rows of knives. 

He has to keep the fire between him and it, even if he has to spend his night running in some Scooby-Doo style circle around the fire pit. It’s his only chance.

In one, large leap, the werewolf clears the fire and lands in front of him, front paws bracketing his body when he tries to crawl back.

“Told you to run, slim.” 

“I, I can’t.”

“Didn’t think you were stubborn to the point of dyin’.” 

“Y-you told me not to run from predators, and I c-cannot drive the bike. And, and I didn’t, I couldn’t leave you.”

“Ain’t that sweet.” Duck grins again, “but why do you think I told Leo and Minerva I wasn’t safe to be around no more? Because a werewolf don’t know friend from foe.”

“That’s, that’s a lie. Y-you clearly know me, you know your past, you’re not some mindless killer ahgod.” He whimpers as a muzzle finds the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply before sending hot, hungry breath across his skin. 

“Mmmmm, you smell good, sugar.”

“You’re not going to eat me.” Indrid says, eyes shut.

“You seem real sure about that.” Another snuffle, tongue dragging along his throat.

“You’re not because you are still Duck, just very large and covered with fur and with a mouth full of unnecessarily sharp teeth, and even though you seem convinced you’ve become bloodthirsty you are still you.” It comes out in a rush and he holds his breath as a clawed hand cups the back of his head. Duck tugs his head back, nosing along his exposed neck. He stares at the stares, praying they’re not the last thing he sees. 

“I could rip your goddamn throat out.” Duck says matter-of-factly. 

“Do you want to?” He whispers, hands coming up instinctively to protect his vital organs.

A long growl, and then Duck’s face blots out the night sky, “No. I don’t.”

“Ohthankgoodness.”

Duck rumbles out a laugh, “that’s puttin it mildly, slim. No one ever stuck around long enough to see what I’d do because I always hid myself or they had the goddamn good sense to run when I said too. Always assumed as soon as I was all the way changed, I’d wanna hurt people, even if they were people I loved.” He plucks Indrid’s glasses off, setting them carefully on the picnic table before using the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear he hadn’t realized was there.

“What do you want to do instead?”

“In general, or to you?” 

“Both?” Indrid is puzzled by his phrasing. 

“Kinda amped up, like I wanna go for a run. Transformin’ basically releases a shit ton of adrenaline so your body just doesn’t collapse from the pain. But as far as you’re concerned…” the muzzle his back, snuffling at his face and chest, “dunno, mostly just wanna keep you close. Protect you. Some part of the wolf-brain is kinda just screamin ‘mine’ over and over again.”

“Oh. Ah. That’s, that’s good.” It’s also painfully arousing, but he’s not quite ready to admit that aloud yet.

“Probably helps that you’re wearing my shirt, since it means my scent is all over you already.”

“You let me borrow it AHHEY, gahthattickles” Indrid cackles as licks and nuzzles his face.

“Aww, didn’t know you were ticklish, sugar.” Duck grabs him, begins mercilessly rubbing his face on any exposed skin he can find.

“I’m not you are just very AHhehe hairy!” In retaliation Indrid reaches between them and scritches his fingers against Ducks chest and belly.

ThwupThwup

They both look at Duck’s tail with surprise. Indrid rubs his belly again.

ThwupThwup

“Didn’t know it did that. I mean, guess makes sense on account of bein’ kinda canine, but I guess I ain’t ever been really happy when I been like this before.”

“Should I keep doing that?”

“Fuck yeah. Hold on, here.” Duck adjusts so he’s on his back with Indrid more or less on top of him. Indrid resumes petting him, Duck making little happy whines as he does.

“Damn, that feels good sugar, ooh right.” 

“Why do you keep calling me that? It’s a pet name.”

“I, uh, fuck, um, fuck, I didn’t, meant to say, uh, fuck.” A deep breath as Indrid sits up to meet his eyes, “I’m real fuckin into you, ‘Drid. I, I didn’t wanna say nothin until we were somewhere you could bail out easily if you needed to. But I ain’t felt this way about anyone in years.”

“Is that wolf-you talking or you-you talking?” Indrid asks, toying with a patch of fur.

“Both. I wanna be with you, and wanna keep travelin with you as my partner, as my, uh, my boyfriend. As my mate. Okay, that last bit was definitely the wolf talking.”

“I...I would like that as well, Duck. I didn’t know how to say it, I was afraid that what happened with your friends meant you didn’t want to be close to anyone. Including me.”

Duck sighs, “I wish I’d known then what we figured out tonight. Maybe things woulda ended a little better between us three. I just, I couldn’t face the idea of bein’ out on a shoot with ‘em and havin this exact thing happen.”

“I must admit, the lack of a full moon is rather confusing.”

“It ain’t just the full moon. It’s a few days after and before too, and I thought I had one more before it hit. Plan was to sneak out of the hotel in Santa Fe and hole myself up in a cave somewhere.”

Indrid strokes his cheek, the fur a little coarser there, “That was what attacked you three, I take it.”

“Uh huh. We were trackin it, thinkin’ it was some kind of huge predator we might be able to film.  It jumped Minerva first, but she’s a tough one, managed to hold her own and only got scratched up. I pulled it off her and it bit me. I, uh, I shot it point blank while it was doin’ that. Turned into a man as it fell in the dirt. Leo and Minerva said I did what I had to but I...well, let’s just say I still see that fellas face a lot in my dreams.”

“No wonder you wanted the footage destroyed.” Indrid murmurs.

Duck nods, waves one hand in front of his face, “damn skeeters, c’mon, let’s get in the tent.”

The tent is a tight fit, but Indrid couldn’t be happier. He crawls onto Duck’s chest, nestling against his fur with a sigh. 

“Now if you have bad dreams when you’re like this, you have someone to to hold.”

Duck kisses the top of his head, “Thanks, sugar.”

Indrid falls asleep atop a giant wolfman, and wakes up to the morning sun and much smaller, human man sprawled beneath him, who he wakes with a flurry of kisses. 

They make Santa Fe by noon, riding in feeling freer then either of them has in a long time. When they ride out the next morning, Indrid has a new job and Duck has a new cameraman. But all either can think about at the moment is his new boyfriend, and the future spreading out ahead of them beneath the rising sun. 

[isalabells]

can u pls give me all ur thoughts on clarissa franklin? im legit so curious!!

Let me preface this, anon, by saying that this might be the most challenging ask I’ve received to date. That’s why I let it sit there for more than 1.5 weeks while agonizing over it on every run I’ve been on in between. So hats off to you because dang!

Thoughts on characters in the DDF universe are generally a tricky thing because none of them – not even (or: especially not) our three mains – are designed to be anything but two-dimensional. This of course shouldn’t stop anyone from diving deeper into some kind of character analysis, but personally, I’ve always found it a bit off-putting alas I probably have fewer thoughts and headcanons on the folks inhabitating the Rocky Beach universe than one might think. I don’t even find it that compelling to look at from a meta perspective (where, in contrast, I could spend hours talking and writing about TKKG’s narratives. And in fact I have.) So what’s mainly of interest to me here is looking at Minninger aka the one who invented dear Clarissa, and to speculate about his motives for telling the Franklin stories the way he did.

In an attempt to look at it from an in-universe POV first: Amazing character, most likely the best female villain this series will ever see (food for thought: there haven’t been that many to begin with, and most of the ones we got were either written by BJHW or Minninger. MUCH to ponder on), personally, I find her way more fun than Hugenay, giving her two (or three, if the rumors are true) follow-up stories is more than deserved. Furthermore, her legacy is that she appeared in two absolute killer episodes, which many (rightfully) consider to be some of the best the series has to offer (so do I, but plot twist, the best for me is not Stimmen aus dem Nichts but Rufmord). 100/10, can relate to Bob Andrews bc I already grew infatuated with her and she didn’t even need to hypnotize me for that. A great cunning, devious, manipulative, stone-cold bitch ready to kill a man or two at any given point, it’s what we all need and deserve. Shouldn’t even be that big of a surprise that this role slaps so hard bc the majority of things Judy Winter does gain IconicTM status, it is the law. Ever since @charlyritter brought up the idea that Sabine Vitua would be the perfect choice to play her in a live action movie, I cannot stop thinking about this. (And ever since I mistook a picture of young Sabine Vitua with short hair for Bibiana Beglau I am slightly fixated on the idea that she’d be a great fit as well.)

  From a more sober POV: I’ve talked about this before but SadN is actually a very sloppily edited adaptation (e.g. Katharina Brauren most def was recorded separately, there are a lot of inaccuracies-that-easily-could-have-been-avoided-with-some-proper-research-and-a-capable-editor in the script etc.) AND most of it is just Minninger ripping off other stories published via EUROPA (I know none of you are aware of this bc y’all lack the refined taste to engage with TKKG, but the entirety of getting phone calls from the dead? Please listen to #82 Spuk aus dem Jenseits which got published in 1991 aka six years prior to SadN, which Minninger himself edited, and which imo is actually WAY more creepy, esp bc Wolf played a lot with elements from Hofmann’s Sandmann. While we’re at it, I might also drop that Franklin’s iconic line “Reiß Dein Maul nicht so weit auf, sonst schieb ich Dir eine Faust rein, an der Du erstickst“ also first appears, word for word, in TKKG #8 Auf der Spur der Vogeljäger. Well oops.) NEVERTHELESS I argue none of it matters in the long run bc the adaption makes it worth the while. Minninger himself is a trickster in that regard bc what he lacks in writing skills (lbr he doesn’t have any, his stories are mediocre at best) he makes up for in hedonism. As in: he mainly writes about what interests him most in a DDF setting (queer characters, middle-aged and/or old yet powerful ladies, horror vibes, scary, disturbing stuff bordering on the macabre and ludicrous) and designs his characters specifically so that he can cast all the actresses and actors he admires. (Honestly, that was actually a question I sent to him back in 2004 when his Fragebox at the rbc was still running; I wanted to know if he already knew he wanted JW to play CF, and he wholeheartedly confirmed.)

In this case, he got especially lucky bc I am firmly convinced he had no clue at all that Andreas Fröhlich and Judy Winter would play off each other so mesmerizingly. I mean, how could he have known? JW being great and killing it was not a surprise, sure, but Andreas was a far stretch away from being the hot shit he evolved into ever since. And if they hadn’t sold their two extremely unusual scenes so well… both episode and the character would have flopped, I think.

But it didn’t, and then Rufmord came along and the rest is history.

I have severe problems with Signale aus dem Jenseits ESPECIALLY bc of the way the narrative treats good ol’ Clarissa here, and I rather wish this ep had never gotten published in the first place. I don’t want to blow up this reply even further, but allow me to quote a snippet from the episode commentary I left on the rbc a while ago, as it sums up some of my troubles quite nicely:

“[Die] Wortwahl einer „Demontage“ Clarissa Franklins hat mich ins Grübeln gebracht. Vielleicht soll genau DAS die Krux der Sache sein – den Abstieg und Ruin einer Figur nachzuzeichnen, die einst bereit war, eiskalt über Leichen zu gehen und die selbst in Situationen, in denen sie auf den ersten Blick die Machtlose zu sein scheint, doch alle Fäden in der Hand hält und Menschen spielt wie Marionetten. In dem Fall wären die abgeschwächten Anleihen/Rezitationen/Referenzen an die Vorgängerfolgen natürlich geschickt (und bewusst?) gewählt und verstärken den Eindruck, dass Clarissa Franklin tief gefallen ist und mittlerweile nach jedem ihr sich bietenden Strohhalm greift (= Schmierenkomödie als Rache an drei Teenagern). Soll dies eine legitime Lesart des Textes sein, dann ist das Narrativ für mich allerdings falsch aufgebaut, weil es sich in zu vielen Nebenschauplätzen verliert.”

From the pov of my fangirl heart and all critical thinking put aside: Clarissa Franklin probably was the first character I was truly obsessed with!? In a way that I spent my entire Easter holiday break reading and listening to Rufmord 24/7. Thinking about her and her encounter with Just, Peter and Bob for hours each day. Desperately longing for more content with her. While my teenage self as evolved a bit, I’m still fond of her. So as much as I want Minninger to just let her rest, I am also hoping that his forth story featuring her only got postponed and not scratched entirely. The heart wants what the heart wants.

[debbiechanclub]

Twenty Questions

Tagged by: @champbucks! Thanks for the tag!

What do you prefer to be called name-wise? Katie and I also quite like KP so y’all can call me either :)

When is your birthday? August 31st (big Virgo energy).

Where do you live? Northern Virginia. My husband and I are hoping to relocate a little further south where it’s a slower pace and more affordable.

Three things you are doing right now? Drinking coffee, thinking about work things I need to do, and wondering if anyone will actually tag me in this or if I’m gonna post it on my own like some sort of narcissist. (Lol NOT ME having this ready to go 😂)

Four fandoms that have peaked your interest. Not all of these are current because really the only thing I’m obsessed with right now is wrestling but... wrestling, Marvel, The Walking Dead, and Game of Thrones. I’ve written fanfiction for all those, that’s my measuring stick hahaha.

How has the pandemic been treating you? Honestly? Better than most, and I feel both grateful for and bad about it. I started a new job at the end of January; we were ordered to go into 100% telework in March (and we’re going back into it now). However, due to the nature of my work, 90% of it CAN’T be done remotely... and because the people I rely on to do my job haven’t really been able to do their job, either, I’ve basically been getting paid my full salary to sit at home for the last eight months. That’s government contracting for you.

A song you can’t stop listening to right now? Still stuck on “Daze Inn” by Carlie Hanson.

Recommend a movie. I know we’re moving into Christmastime, but the only movies I can think of are all suspense/thriller/horror 😂. If you have not seen Hush on Netflix, I HIGHLY recommend it. It’s about a deaf woman fending off a home intruder. Every time I see it pop up when I’m searching for something to watch I wish that I hadn’t seen it so I could watch it for the first time again. That’s how good (I think) it is.

How old are you? 32

School, university, occupation, other? I went to college, got a B.A. in English Lit, and I’ve basically been working as a writer/editor in various fields ever since. When I graduated in 2010 the economy was still shit and I couldn’t find a full-time job to save my life, so I started looking into becoming a pro wrestler. I ended up training at a school in Western Maryland (I was the only girl) for about six months. It was a total joke of a school, and I’m pretty sure they’re not in business anymore. I remember showing up for training one evening and the owner took us all out to a Public Storage and put us to work moving his new girlfriend’s shit into a storage unit. That was all we did that night. I was pissed because the school was a 1.5-hour drive one way for me. Had it been a legitimate operation I probably wouldn’t have quit and, who knows, maybe I’d be a pro wrestler right now. I think about that sometimes and wonder.

Do you prefer heat or cold? Cold. Cold clothes are cuter and more comfortable than hot clothes and you can’t tell me different.

Name one fact others may not know about you. I was born with a big birthmark on my left cheek. The medical term for it is “giant hairy nevus” and it was actually a type of mole. It grew hair and I had to shave it. I had it removed when I was 13. It took two operations to get it all and my body rejected the sutures (it literally pushed them out of my face; luckily it didn’t affect the healing process). I had two more procedures using just local anesthetic in the doctor’s office to remove excess scar tissue and redirect the direction of the bottom portion of the scar. Then I had fat taken from my stomach and injected into my cheek to fill it back out. I got a staph infection from that; luckily my dad caught it in time and antibiotics took care of it. For a long time I was extremely self-conscious about the scar, and I assumed it was the first/only thing people noticed about me. But these days no one even realizes I have it, and when I tell them about the birthmark they’re blown away. The surgeon did a very good job.

Are you shy? I don’t like the term “shy.” I prefer “reserved.” I’m very reserved until I decide that I like you enough or you can be trusted enough for me to be my true self. I’ve had my best friends tell me that the person they know now is completely different from the one they first met. Admittedly, a lot of people don’t get to know the real me because the reserved way in which I initially present myself combined with my hella bad RBF makes them assume I don’t like them/I’m a bitch.

Preferred pronouns? She/her.

Biggest pet peeves? When people don’t accept/respect/understand that others can have a different opinion or viewpoint from theirs and IT’S OKAY. Or when people decide that someone MUST be “x” because they agree with/like “x.”

What is your favorite “dere” type? I don’t know what the fuck that means, fam.

Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be. I’d rate it a solid 7. I’ve come a long way... if I’d filled this out four or five years ago (or hell even two years ago), I probably would have said 4/5.

What’s your main blog? This is my main and only blog.

List your side blogs and what they’re used for. See previous.

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? I’m in my 30s! There’s more of us on here than I thought, so that’s a relief 😂. That being said, I’m not opposed to having younger friends - but just be aware! If you’re a minor and are weirded out by that it doesn’t hurt my feelings.

Tagging: @freshlysqueezedmox @drewsmcintyres @justamess44

[mego42]

8 43 52!

totally unrelated to this game but just throwing it out there bc i’m looking at it, your icon always makes me so happy. look at those little hands!!!!! love trash pandas

8. Do you have any writing buddies or critique partners?

Yes!!! I would be absolutely lost without @nickmillerscaulk, she is 100000000% responsible for a song inside the halls of the dark still being a thing tbh. she’s been beta-reading since the beginning and has been a sounding board and shoulder to lean on throughout the whole thing. she’s such an incredible editor, hugely supportive and enthusiastic listener and just like, all around??? amazing????? if for no other reason, that fic will always have a special place in my heart for being the thing we became friends over.

I also spend a lot of time bouncing ideas off of @foxmagpie who has an incredible eye for story and is always super down to let me ramble out places where I get snarled up and weigh in. @bourbon-ontherocks and I literally just made a pact to treat messages as a no holds barred therapy zone while we both work on our promt-a-thon fics for monday. in addition to being the primary recipient of my johnny tuturro themed decent into madness, @medievalraven has also listened to me ramble about/inspired an item or two on my no seriously I am going to write this list (this F themed extravaganza is going to be extremely bonkers) as well as being a wonderfully sympathetic shoulder to cry on when I get discouraged.

Apologies for getting all sappy on main but I love you guys, you’re the best.

43. How do you deal with rejection?

I don’t get rejected, everyone who has ever tried to reject me is dead to me and how could someone dead to me have ever rejected me? Laughable! Ridiculous! Could never happen!

Real talk, my general attitude is that people are gonna do what they’re gonna do and there’s an extremely limited amount of shit I can do about it. I try to give myself time and space to sulk and lick my wounds and then get back to business because like hell I’m going to let someone else’s wrong opinion keep me down. Not everyone is going to like me/what I write and that’s fine, their loss. 

That said, if the person doing the rejecting insists on being a dick about it, I plant a seed in my grudge garden and tend to it for the rest of my days. 

52. Who do you write for?

Me, 100%. I would be a filthy liar if I tried to say I didn’t care if y’all like what I put out as well, but at the end of the day, I’m writing what I want to write and hoping y’all are down for the ride, not the other way around.

writer ask meme

[thatyanderecritic]

The Invisible Man

Title: The Invisible Man

Media: Movie, Directed by Leigh Whannell

Yandere(s): Adrian Griffin

Yandere Scale: 0/5

Criticism written by: Kai 

Editor: Julie

The Review: 

Holy shit! Is this an actual yandere review?! OMG!!!

Haha, hi everyone. Kai here to dust off the ol’ review hat and give y’all a yandere review. This wasn’t exactly planned but this movie fell onto our laps (five dollars Tuesday from AMC :) ) and we went into this movie not expecting any yandere themes. Well… seeing the yandere scale, it’s obvious that there weren't any yanderes, to begin with. But after seeing the movie, we can see why a person may mistake the main antagonist as a “yandere”. So this is a bit of a preemptive attack from us (inb4 we get an anon ask about this movie). That being said, let’s jump straight into the review. Spoilers below cut.

I’m sure everyone knows of the original novel and movie that shares the same name… “The Invisible Man”. But this 2019 version has no tangible connection to the original novel besides the concept of an “invisible man” and one of the characters having the last name of “Griffin”. That being said, the movie is basically summarized as this: The main character: Cecilla managed to escape her abusive, mad scientist husband named Adrian. In a supposed fit of depression, Adrian “kills” himself after Cecilla left and everything seems hunky-dory. Cecilla got this big inheritance and she’s surrounded by people who care for her. But uh oh! Cecilla got some sort of third sense or something because she feels like Adrian is still out there and moving behind the scenes… he’s ruining her relationships and making her look crazy. Eventually, Cecilla finds out about this invisibility suit that Adrian is using but gets framed for murdering her sister! Things finally heat up when Cecilla finds out she’s pregnant, escapes the mental ward, and kills Adrian’s brother (who was set up by Andrian). It ends with Cecilla putting on the suit and making it look like Adrian killed himself. The end! 

Okay wow. That’s a lot but the summary for Adrian is pretty simple… he isn’t a yandere. He’s just an abuser. This word is literally tossed around every five minutes in the movie and even in plot summaries. Adrian beats Cecilla and treats her like shit. Anything that could be mistaken as “yandere actions” is just Adrian being an abusive piece of shit and doing what abusers normally do… isolate the victim. Nothing more, nothing less. If we want to put him under a microscope, it’s rather hard. Adrian took his role as the invisible man very seriously because you never see the fucking man beside the beginning and the end. No real motive as to “why” it had to be Cecilla (besides Adrian being a guy who can’t take no… according to his brother) and we only know how they met in a throwaway line by Cecilla (“I’m just some girl you met in a frat party”). Adrian was a very surface level character… actually, all of them were surface level. Just a bunch of characters tossed into a scenario. Which leaves me to my final point.

This movie… wasn’t that good. It was rather average and just “okay”. We come in expecting a thriller/horror but we ended up with a thriller/comedy. Like… deadass, the movie theater we went to was packed and the audience was fucking laughing at the shit the characters were saying. Julie and I were hysterical each time the characters does something stupid. Like… this isn’t a comedy!!! But the logic was just out the window. Characters don’t act like normal human beings and the only character that was rational was the main character… but even she had some deus ex machina level third sense. Two scenes that stood out: Cecilla was on the other side of the room when the daughter of her friend asked if she wanted a movie night. Cecilla was just about to agree when Adrian punched the teenage daughter. Then the teenage daughter told her dad that Cecilla punched her. W-what?! Like I get Adrian is invisible but Cecilla was literally on the other side of the room! What can a rational person think?! Most people would fucking assume a ghost and their house is haunted. She’s literally on the other side of the room! And the other scene is when Adrian faked a hate letter from Cecilla to her sister. Sister thought Cecilla was a major bitch and blocked her. What??? Like… no question? Not even thinking that this sort of letter doesn’t fit the type of person Cecilla is? God damn, this is advice to you all: If you receive a strange text or letter from a friend that doesn’t fit their personality… then something is fucking up. Don’t be brain dead. Everyone in this movie is braindead tbh. Julie made the joke that all the stupid side characters represent how an abuse victim feels when no one believes them. Might sound clever but please remember that no one put actual thought to this movie. 

Anyways, do I recommend this movie in general? Only if you want a good laugh and cheap jumpscares. For anything yandere related? God no, the guy is just an abusive prick. Kai, out. 

Overall Score: 2.5/10

[coldasyou]

If I see any of y’all calling miranda homophobic for suggesting the strike we’re fighting NONE of us knew what the video was gonna be like and when she found out she canceled it. I don’t wanna see anyone trying to start shit where there isn’t, especially when miranda was just trying to make a point abt how shitty editors are treated in the fandom (especially when there’s new content have you seen how often gifs get stolen?)

[letamreviews]

Top of 2019

With 56 films watched and 27 favorited in 2019, I composed a list of my top. By pure happenstance, the list is almost an exact third (18) of the total films watched. Be aware that I don’t have as much to say about some of these because I took no notes after.

Because I’d be biased towards them, I don’t count the National Theatre Live plays.

Since the list is likely to be altered between now and the end of February (to accommodate for films missed), check the Lettboxd list later on to see an up to date listing, but be aware that it intentionally lacks the details provided here.

EDIT (01/04/20):

Woke up this morning religiously re-reading this and caught some grammar errors. It’s almost like staying consistently well-rested is actually beneficial. While I’m at it, Blind Rating (BR) is how worthwhile the film is watching “blind” (or knowing nothing). The scale is 1 (worth it) to 5 (you must). ‘Eh is essentially a 0.5.

1. Midsommar (USA)

Saw the original and Director's Cut in theatres and discussed them with a group immediately after both times. I’m somewhere between really liking it and loving it. Still unsure. Hell of an experience with a lot to notice, debate over, and pick up on during the second viewing. Don’t even get me started on the Christian/Dani matter. Dat tension, tho. Blind Rating: 4/5

2. Us (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I’m digging the allegories and the way (I think) it reflects on society. Dem reveals, tho. Blind Rating: 4/5

3. Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. Two things probably play a huge hand in this not being atleast 3 spots lower: my demographic and the fact that her older self constantly reminded me of my grandma and a certain middle school teacher. Regardless, it’s an entertaining, interesting, and lively documentary with its many personalities on-screen all giving their take on matters along with Ms. Morrison herself. Glad they managed to finish and release this 1.25 months before her death. Blind Rating: 0/5

4. When They See Us (USA)

Saw on Netflix over the course of a month. Y’all, this one hurt too much to watch again any time soon. Admittedly, part of the reason why it hit me so hard is because I could easily have been one of them. Dat ending, tho. Don’t forget to watch the Oprah followup When They See Us Now after. You’ll ball (again). Blind Rating: 3/5

5. Parasite (South Korea)

Saw an advance screening in theatres and watched a live post-film Q&A. I really like it. This hit me in such a way that it’s one of three films I’m writing an essay on. Planing on watching it a second time soon so I can finish with a sense of accuracy. This isn’t one that I would recommend looking at images for. There are some that will spoil the experience of the second half. Seriously, block the “Parasite” tag from your feed if you can. Blind Rating: 3/5

6. Luce (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. This was is so~ good as a thriller and especially in regards to being Black in America. Wanted to watch it a second time but never managed to squeeze it in before it left theatres. Dem performances, tho. Dat tension, yo. Dat score, bro. Blind Rating: 1/5

7. Them That Follow (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with someone immediately after. I love it. Blind Rating: 1/5

A drama influenced thriller about a religious and somewhat self-isolating community that's effectively blanketing a realistic romance. (snip) —Letterboxd review

8. The Souvenir (United Kingdom)

Saw in theatres (partially because so many movie peeps were shitting on it). I love it, but I didn't fucking love it. Was tempted to see it again, but didn’t get the chance. Dat ending, tho. While it was a movie peep telling me the whole plot that caused me to gain so much interest in it [Cabin in the Woods (2011) all over again, amiright?], I must say that the less you know the better. It’ll make for... a more immersive experience. Blind Rating: 3/5

9. After the Wedding (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I thought I really liked it, but I love it. This was a trip down unexpected lane, le'me tell ya. The trailer is a spoilerful lie, but the Landmark's description is very accurate. People's experiences will have a heavy hand in how they react to it and feel about certain characters. The way they made this feel like a constant thriller was excellently done. Dat cinematography, tho. Go in knowing nothing more than what the previous link provides. Blind Rating: 1/5

10. Joker (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I really like it. Blind Rating: 1/5

(slight spoilers)

This was difficult to watch at times, but hella captivating throughout. Arthur's reasoning is believable, his sanity is questionable, and his life is indeed one hell of a joke. Like watching an extreme example of what happens when people on the lower end lose access to social programs. This can very easily be taken as a commentary on mental illness kept unchecked. More than that, it's a story about a guy who accepts his "crazy" and transcends poverty, circumstance, and societal bullshit... at everyone else's expense. (snip) —Letterboxd review

11. Miles Davis: Birth of the Cool (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I really like it. Captivating documentary in a very similar style to Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am, but with Mr. Davis never joining the “talking heads” (as people like to call it) and instead being heard as a constant narrator of his own biography. Regardless of how I feel about him on a personal level, this shit was a great watch and the ending hit hard. Still need to get his autobiography, though. There’s a nostalgic factor for me here since I was partially reminded of my grandpa while watching it. Blind Rating: 'eh

12. Queen & Slim (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with someone immediately after. Fuck yeah, I enjoyed this one. Dat soundtrack and cinematography, bruh? 👌🏿 The throwback soundtrack, main characters’ racial group, and fact that they went to New Orleans definitely play a hand in why this one’s not atleast 1 spot lower. Blind Rating: 1/5

13. Dwelling in the Fuchon Mountains (China)

Saw in theatres during festival and attended discussion days later. I really like it. Was long, but in a good way. Similar to Ash is Purest White (2018) in that I kept thinking "please end here," but would be glad it didn't later. It's beautifully slothy and has absurdly long tracking shots. The cinematography during walking conversations is notable. Dat trick, tho. Blind Rating: 'eh

14. A Girl Missing (Japan)

Saw in theatres during festival and discussed with a group immediately after. Bruh~, this is a hell of a personal trial. Didn’t expect it to go the places it did. Blind Rating: 1/5

15. Dutch Angle: Chas Gerretsen & Apocalypse Now (Netherlands)

Saw on MUBI on phone. I love it. This goes over his childhood (for 8 minutes), career paths, photography of 9/11/1973's Chilean coup d'etat, the 6 months he spent on-set photographing Apocalypse Now (1979), and him as a person. What I didn’t expect was how much he would get into the details of things happening during that film’s development. Along with those details are interesting photos presented excellently in a way that’s reminiscent of manga at times. I like the way the photos take center point and are treated like the foreground. It’s like the director and editor forced themselves to remain aware that the documentary was showcasing 15% of the total slides housed in the Nederlands Fotomuseum’s archives in Rotterdam and that most of his Apocalypse Now photos were never seen. Dat score, tho [Ex Machina (2014) vibes]. Blind Rating: 0/5

BTW, it had its official (Dutch national) release by EYE Filmmuseum on 12/19/19 in the Netherlands, so maybe it’ll come to the USA soon. 🤷🏿‍♂️ Forgot to mention it’s been added as a special feature to the 40th anniversary 4K blu-ray disc of Apocalypse Now: Final Cut (2019).

16. Receiver (Ireland)

Saw on MUBI on phone. I really like it. A very interesting short film in three odd segments. First was disturbing; second was about activism, protests, and politics; third was about the person I assume the film was made for. All compose what I took as a film about the importance of having reliable sound and hearing. Needs to be watched alone with good sound quality (for immersion). Blind Rating: 'eh

17. Bacurau (Brazil)

Saw in theatres during festival. I really like it. This was some Most Dangerous Game shit with a hell of an ending. The whole game is an allegory of civilized people's obsession with hunting wild animals for "sport". I really like the portrayal of history here and enjoyed the racial matters it lays bare. I can only imagine someone watching this without knowing a thing. Kinda wish I didn’t even read the description beforehand. Digging the soundtrack. Blind Rating: 1/5

18. Little Women (USA)

Saw on 35mm and discussed with others on separate occasions. I really like it. This was just warming and sad. I felt for the main characters and actually felt satisfied with the way it ended. Considering the type of film, there are handful of typical things for me to complain about. That being said, the movie earned its stars back. I mean, did you not see their attic performances? Shit was dope. Blind Rating: ‘eh

[skunts-own-truth]

This month I went and finished Wee Free Men, Hat Full of Sky, Thud!, and Vaults of Terra 2. I’ve started Celestine, Dune Messiah, Plague Garden, and Interesting Times.

There’s so much I can say about the book’s I finished. Oh, boy, if y’all haven’t read the Tiffany Aching books in the Discworld series, they are a special treat. Never in my day have I read a book targeted at a far younger audience than myself and felt moved beyond simple empathy for the characters. Pratchett kicks ass with emotions, and he’ll have you riding the fury of a nine year old girl like a skateboard rolling down an incline. Nyoom. Also, it’s always a delight to see more Granny Weatherwax, and don’t you forget it. That said, Thud! Whoo-boy, Thud! I’m sitting here talking about riding a character’s emotions, I need to mention Sam Vimes in Thud! Dude swoops you away. I don’t know how Terry does it, really.

Chris Wraight in our second Vaults of Terra book has continued the story exactly where we left off from the first in the best of ways; by driving our main character mad. It was gut wrenching! Seeing what a Dark Eldar can do to a man, simply by being viewed by him? Now that, that’s an interesting prospect for you Xenos fans out there. There ain’t any Xenos in the novel, mind you, but the presence of one is felt all the way through, and that bastard is long dead. Haunting! And that ending, oh dear Chris. I had to put the book down for a day twice, as Mr. Wraight really just went and snapped my arm with a few very big character decisions. Usually can handle stuff like that, but god damn, he went HARD. It was wonderful! Give it a read, I do hope it makes you feel as queasy as it did me in that one scene.

I’ve locked myself on a Discworld path. So, there’s a good chance I’ll be finishing more Discworld before I do more Warhammer. Plague Garden is stellar, I will say, though. But hey, I’ve been a Josh fan as long for as long as I’ve read a story by the guy. That one was a total given, so I don’t really feel the need to talk it up too much other than letting everyone know there’s a delightful Stormcast who used to be a full Nurgle-blessed champion, and that dude cracks my soul into a thousand tiny pieces. I only want the best for him, and I can only thank Josh for giving him to us as a community. Thanks, Josh.

I did stop reading Dune 2 and Celestine because they bummed me out. Messiah is a story of degradation and madness, and god is it good at it. Ain’t in the mood for that, I’m afraid! Gotta put it down. I’ll come back to it once I’m over myself, and I know damn well I’ll love it. Paul’s my dawg, as you well know. Celestine, however bummed me out more on tone than anything else. It’s a slow, sad book. Again, wasn’t really in the mood for it! I’ll finish both soon enough, once the mood for slow and sad strikes me again. Andy Clark did write some hella Warp Weirdness in Celestine, though. I wish the whole damn book was that, but I do get the sense the BL wouldn’t let the guy go too far into the whole process. I was getting the feeling that the book was a bit restrained, like an editor and a PR person was hovering over Andy as he wrote. I could be a fool, but it’s what I’m sensing outta there. That by no means, means I’m saying it’s a bad book. I really dig it, and even recommend it if you’re a sister’s fan, or like to see strange buckwild warp shit happening!

[nexiraptor]

Warrior cats is garbage here is why (Edited: now with racism rant)

For several years majority of us who are in this fandom have read a lot of these books and when we were young we used to praise them as great works of fiction and really cool for any cat lover so much so that we made little animated music videos of these fictional cats in their fictional world.

However it’s time for those rose tinted goggles to come off as we need to talk about how warrior cats is a garbage series and how it can be fixed but it won’t be because the Erins are not listening to us in all actuality.

Continuity what’s that?: The writer’s don’t know either

So Warrior Cats has a lot of books, I mean tons that you would think that they would have a good sense of continuity. Let me tell you something my friend continuity does not exist in these books. Some cats will have the wrong pelt colors, names will be badly spelled, and don’t get me started on characters coming back to life (Literally). The most prominent example of these continuity errors would have to be Clawface who dies in the book “Fire and Ice.” but then comes back to life a book that is between “Forest of Secrets” and “Rising Storm.” You might be asking yourself “Why are there so many continuity and mistakes in the series Catie?” Well the thing about most book series is that the authors probably have a backlog of what is canon and the continuity of the series in general.

However it seems the Erins do not have this as they seem to be writing the books very carelessly which brings a lot of problems with it. Sure this is a series for children but that does not mean you get to be lazy with your continuity or editing. Frankly if I were in charge I would have the Erins write down everything they are going to write in the future into a book for continuity sake. That way we don’t have cats being misgendered or coming back to life however there might not even be a good source of continuity when the Erins keep having different opinions over which cat becomes mates with which cat (we are going to get back to the Erin’s bickering later though) The same happened with Dovewing’s eyes and everyone threw a massive shit fit over that… Maybe in the future this problem will be fixed but lord knows that will happen....

Incest is wincest: The Erins creepy obsession with mates and incest

I don’t think I have to make this any simpler but DON’T FUCK YOUR COUSIN! I don’t think has been iterated enough to the Erins and i’m fucking impress the editor has caught only instance of this when there are several instances of this shit. The most recent which had me seething was Ivypool and Fernsong, we literally had an arc about pretty much how Lionblaze, Jayfeather, and Dovewing are all kin of Firestar and that Ivypool (Dovewing’s sister) and Fernsong (Lionblaze’s son) are literally cousins! Like not even distant cousins! Yet Kate Cary did not find that a little weird… We then have Dustpelt and Ferncloud who are related (Dustpelt being Ferncloud’s uncle) Let us not forget that Willowpelt and Patchpelt who are SIBLINGS also be come mates and had Greystripe. Oh and don’t get me started on how Sandstorm’s half brother was hitting on her daughter! You could always put in the notion “But Catie they are just cats what is wrong with incest.” and I have to say that we can’t keep crying that when this is a fantasy in which cats are organised, have their own religion, and have their own myths and traditions. These are anthropomorphized cats and this is also a children’s book. The Erins should not have so much incest in a children’s book of all things but they have done much worse so I don’t put it against them.

However let's talk about the near graphic depictions of childbirth these books have. These authors have a weird obsession over pregnant cats and giving us wonderful imagery of these cats giving birth. Like think about it for a split second how many graphic depictions of birth do you read in a warrior cats book. However the weird thing about the Erins is how the she cats keep getting younger when they get pregnant have y’all noticed that. Violetshine who was just named a warrior suddenly gets pregnant and has kids. Mothflight who was a brand new medicine cat gets pregnant as well and has some kits. (Mothflight is probably the worst mother though because she gave away a kit who literally drowned and might have PTSD to a clan that swims like it would be interesting to see where that goes but I doubt the Erins would ever go down that path) there is also Star Flower who is impregnated by Clear Sky and his son Thunder was lusting over this she cat and it’s really weird and I don’t get it…

Either way the Erins are very creepy with this stuff and let’s just leave it at that (Of now…)e

Death of the author: The Erins should not dictate canon unless it’s in the books:

Time to get to the most important point in this whole entire rant that is address to the wiki in particular. It’s time to commit to death of the author because if we want to determine what is canon and what is not we need to do this action.

To the people who have no idea what “Death of the author.” is it’s when we decide that what the authors say outside of the books should not be canon because these writers are doing nothing but harm if we keep having their words be the word of gospel because from what you can tell the Erins are not that good with continuity and have even started several fan wars. One of the most prominent examples of when we needed to commit “Death of the author” the most though was with warriors superfan Su Susan. Su Susan helped fill the wiki pages however giving a super fan that much power is going to lead to a lot of wars between fans and we already have enough to bicker about. Yeah it’s interesting to see who Swiftpaw’s siblings are or who the rest of Princess’s kits are but if you give a superfan the power to change possible canon then it becomes a problem and what makes me a little ticked off is that a wiki that is suppose to give us official information followed this superfan’s word which is a giant problem.

You guys have to be more critical of what you accept what is canon and what is not guys or else we are going to face even more problems in the warriors fandom in general.

The part where I talk about Ableism from the Erins

Yeah not fancy title here because what the erins do to disabled cats is kind of disgusting. The cats who have disabilities in this book series really get shit on like a lot. Then again it does not help that the first disabled cats we meet are named One-eye and Halftail. That’s not even the beginning of all of the bad names these cats get for having a disability we got Deadfoot, Crookedjaw, White-eye, Runningnose, and Lostface. Most of these are renames too like what is with these leaders and allowing these names to exist or should I say why is the editor allowing this shit in the first place? Sure most of these guys get high ranks and that’s fine but do they have to have such awful names and don’t get me started on Rainflower and how badly she treated Crookedstar. Even worse is probably Brokenstar who got ridiculed by his whole entire clan for having a broken tail like why do the Erins write this shit… Let’s not forget all the disable cats that became medicine cats. The most prominent being Cinderpelt and Jayfeather one being crippled by a car and the other being blind.

It would have been so interesting to have a cat like Cinderpelt despite her injuries rise up and become a warrior after he leg injury because that would have showcased a strong female character despite her being crippled by a car instead what do the Erins do? “Let’s make her a medicine cat and then reincarnate her and then not even do that and just let her spirit be possessed by this cat.” Oh yes that’s definitely what I want to see instead of something empowering to give to all of the female audiences that are reading this series which seems to be the majority of warrior cats fans!

Then there is Jayfeather who is blind and pretty much get shucked into the role of medicine cat apprentice which fucking sucks because a blind warrior would have been a cool concept as well. Like imagine all these cool concepts that could have happened in warriors but did not because The Erins didn’t even think of the possibility. Another possibility for a blind warrior before even Jayfeather would have been Longtail but that was also wasted potential too. Then we finally get to the most wasted potential and possible good representation for disabled people if The Erins had not killed her off Briarlight. Briarlight is pretty much oozing with potential to be a good storyline about a warrior who overcomes her disability and helps her clan in some way. Hell you could have made her a mediator it would have been a perfect role for her as it would give Briarlight something to do besides be the medicine cat assistant. Then in the most “Fuck you.” moment they kill her off because of course we can’t have a cat with such a crippling disability be useful… I also forgot to mention Snowkit who was deaf but didn’t matter if would get a deaf warrior who could possibly use sign language let’s just send a hawk in to kill the kit!

This is how ableist the Erins are when they won’t let us have any good representation when they won’t let a fully blind cat be a warrior or even a deaf cat. However it seems The Erins don’t seem really into that and would rather have warriors be normal cats without any disabilities which is wrong.

She cats are dispensable: The Erins are sexist

Yes despite there being a lot of women in the writing process of this series the series seems to really love killing off mainly she cats. (This also might be why we keep getting a lot of incest) There are very few she cats that really live for a very long time hell sometimes they will even kill off she cats with major storylines off book or you will find out about their deaths in their super editions or novellas if you read those. The most notorious currently is Leafpool in the most recent novel as we barely get any mention of her at all and yet her death has impacted the clans but when you don’t let us see her die or even let us say goodbye to a character until another couple of months people are going to get pissed. Hell Hollyleaf’s death was another example of people getting pissed at the Erins as you just introduced her in one book only to kill her off in the next. Needletail who should have been a way more prominent character in Vision of Shadows gets killed off way too early as well as I believe she did not get enough character development for me to really like her all that much. Silverstream, Spottedleaf, Ferncloud, and Sorreltail are probably the most prominent of characters that should not have died so soon because there could have been some interesting plot development with these cats.

Even Bramblestar in Bramblestar’s storm talks about there are very few she cats left in his clan. Maybe it’s because The Erins just keep killing she cats who have potential to be good characters if they didn’t keep shanking them with their writing knives. It’s disgusting how many times we get she cats who are strong and powerful who then get shanked by the Erins everytime the plots needs to move on. Sandstorm was killed off to “Lessen the load.” Spottedleaf was killed off so “Firestar did not have to choose in starclan.” Hollyleaf did because “She made the ultimate sacrifice.” these deaths are preventable and provide nothing to the reader at all but disappointment and anger.

We still have some interesting she cats like Mothwing, Tawnypelt, Mistystar, and Squirrelflight but lord knows when they are going to get the knife as well…

You are going to love these characters: Erins have made some really bad characters

Welcome to the several hundred take on why Ashfur is a bad character for so many reasons even though I can now do you a couple better. Let’s just start with Ashfur because he is one of the easier cats to point out The Erin’s shit writing. First of all Ashfur starts out as friends with Squirrelflight and they get close but I think we all knew she was going to end up with Bramblestar eventually. However instead of acting like a normal person during a breakup Ashfur goes straight to 11. Ashfur sets up a trap to MURDER Squirrelflight’s father and when that didn’t work he tried to murder her adopted children (Another thing The Erins seem to hate is adopted families) still Ashfur goes to Starclan because he “Loved too much.” you can clearly see the problem here… How about a cat who complains about their fucking leg being crushed DARK FOREST BITCH that’s what happened to Lilywhisker when one The Erins confirmed that but was quickly revoked because that gives us even more questions about Starclan and whoever is judging the cats up there needs a fucking intervention.

Onestar fucking Onestar… there is so much wrong with this cat that even I was like “Mudclaw would have been a better leader than this asshole.” Onestar decides to be mates with a random kittypet and then when it’s time to move he doesn’t allow his son to be in the clans and prevent pretty bad disaster from happening. Demanded more than he rightfully deserved because of his status as a leader and being a general dick to Firestar along with dissing him off. You expect me to accept his apology for doing all of this shit only for him to drown to death and calling it “Heroic.” fuck no Erins Onestar deserved that because he no longer was leading that clan because Onestar is the worst character in the warrior cats series because The Erins decided to shit on Onestar’s character I would rather read a fanfic where Mudclaw was leader cause he probably would not be doing this shit.

Spottedleaf’s Heart: The worst book in warriors so far

Alright let’s rip the bandage off because you all knew this book was going to come into the discussion some how and we need to talk about this like grown people because this is where I pretty much stopped reading the series. Vicky who wrote the book as written a book where the lesson that was learned here was “It’s okay to groom a child and force them down a path they don’t want to go on.” This book is the worst offender of how shitty The Erins are in my opinion when they themselves even after Vicky left did not denounce this awful book and made it noncanon because frankly this book is the only book in my opinion that I am convinced is non canon because of how disgusting it is. Vicky retired when this book got the much need criticism and backlash it needed but sadly because Vicky retired we will probably never get a statement about possibly making this one story non canon because frankly children should not be reading that kind of stuff especially when it is written so poorly.

So just to summarize The Erins are currently saying “Child grooming is okay.” to their readers and not even think “Hey maybe we should have Spottedpaw talk to a grown up about this stuff and maybe get her out of this situation” that would have been a great idea but no body decided that was a good idea.

The tribe of racism: How The Erins are really fucking racist

This is an edited in part because after thinking it through and someone having opened my eyes about this I was shocked that I did not think about this when I initially posted the essay. Let’s talk about racism in the warrior cats series.

The clan cats will be coded white

The tribe cats coded native american

Bloodclan coded African american

Susan and Jacques coded hispanic

other rogues, loners, and kittypets can be coded as other minorities as well.

Now warrior cats has a white savior complex because The Tribe cats cannot defend themselves without the clan cats apparently because they had to be saved from a giant lion and a bunch of rogues along with there being a panic over who the next leader should be. The Erins pretty much wrote native Americans as “Confused defenceless people who don’t know what to do against really bad threats.” despite surviving for 60 YEARS. I would love to see a book on the tribe being strong cats but The Erins don’t want to do that as it would be “Too boring and there would be few cats.” like wtf Erins the tribe of rushing would be very interesting and would introduce us to different customs maybe even learn about how their religion works. When we do get a POV of a tribe of rushing water cat they all immediately leave the mountains to go to the forest so we can’t have a proper POV of the Tribe of rushing water’s life.

Bloodclan though has a very different problem from The tribe of rushing water. These guys are coded black as they seem to have some sort of organized gang and judging by how racist the Erins are it would not be too far from the case to believe that they are an African american street gang/mafia (They could also be a form of an Italian mafia as well which is still bad) however the gang after being led from their city to the clan territory they are quickly killed off by the “Superior clan cats.” who once again are coded white. You can see where this is going the white people killing off and disbanding an African American street gang. If this sounds familiar that’s because it happened to the black panther party a group of African Americans who wanted to defend themselves only to be killed off and tortured by the very white government. 

Now you can argue with me that Jaques and Susan are not hispanic however they are pretty much very muscular and are bullies to the clan cats. They also killed Talonpaw and are then confronted by the clans and are quickly defeated. These two kittypets while this is going to be a stretch are most likely based on the hispanic stereotype of how they are quick to anger and are super macho. As secrets of the clans states “They are both Hostile and dangerous, with no warrior code to guide their actions.”

Then there are the rogues, loners, and kittypets who the very white clans constantly insult and are pretty terrible to despite their kindness. The only clan that is very accepting of rogues and even lets them stay in their camp in Windclan. Even cats who originally did not have racial prejudice suddenly have it and get very angry over having to welcome a new warrior in (Oh no more people to help you defend your clan how terrible!) All in all The Erins are pretty racist writers which is great to stack up with the other shit they have done as well...        

In Conclusion

The Erins currently are really bad writers and as it currently stands people. I recommend to stop reading the warrior cats series as I believe it’s only going to get worse from here. I would instead focus my attention at fan works which have a far better continuity and even though there are some great books after Dawn of the clans I think Dawn of the clans is like the best ending to read and warriors and the Erins should have stopped there and then just did super editions and novellas.