#y’all rarely do this with white women

[starlooove]

And tbh on that point it’s also that white feminists turn into their alt right mothers QUICKLY when it comes into how black women embrace their sexuality and while WE can have convos on how much of it is nature vs nurture, socialization, etc. even the most well read white person lacks the insight on our community to comment on these things without their racism showing bc, even if they don’t realize it, the lens through which they even SEE these women is skewed.

I wanna make a post talking about how black female rappers like Monaleo or Sexxy Red have helped me with my self confidence and how white feminist are weird and racism towards them but I lack the words to properly communicate it, so I'm left saying white feminists are weird n black female rappers made me feel better and hope a mutual will reblog and add onto it

[samkerrworshipper]

found family | arsenal women x reader

no warnings just sickness, comfort and a little bit of angst

blurb: when r decides it’s a good idea to go out in the snow for the first time after training they suffer the consequences, and then suffer the consequences of trying to conceal their sickness

sorry if this draws on, wanted to give y’all something so this is from the drafts lol and idk how i feel about it

Doing snow angels after training in nothing more than shirts and shorts was never going to be a good idea, but I’d done it anyway. Me, Katie, Caitlin, Alessia and Beth having snuck out without telling any of our other teammates to have a moment in the snow. It was some harmless fun that we were sure our coaches and captains wouldn’t approve of, so we’d snuck out of the recovery room without anybody taking notice and had some fun in the snow. We hadn’t been out in it for much longer than 20 minutes, just long enough to slip out and in. It was rare for there to be so much snow so early in the year, I had hardly been expecting it and it wasn’t the normal sludge that North London was renowned for, it was proper fluffy white snow, the stuff you see in hallmark movies. I was the only player on the team who had never seen real snow before, so when I’d pleaded with Katie to take me out in it, she could hardly say no to me.

Beth, Caitlin and Alessia had just been casualties. Katie had taken Lessi under her wing since her start at Arsenal, the two had very quickly become bonded and there wasn’t much you could do with Katie anymore without Alessia and Caitlin being her companions.

Beth and Viv had happened to overhear our conversation in recovery and Beth had pleaded with us to let her come, Viv just shook her head at us, clearly in disapproval of our decisions but also not bothering herself with trying to stop us, there wasn’t any point, she wouldn’t win.

So we’d somehow managed to sneak out of the recovery rooms and out onto the spare field, which was covered in a blanket of white snow. Almost immediately I’d thrown myself down into the powder, shivering slightly at the coldness but not really caring, it was an experience that felt so incredibly surreal that I was in complete ignorance over my senses.

The four other women just sat and watched as I rolled around in the snow, Katie and Beth shaking their heads at my antics. Alessia busied herself with getting in a snowball fight with Caitlin. It had stayed fairly tame until I’d thrown one at Katie’s head and then it had turned into a full on war, ending with Katie and I wrestling in the snow.

Our snow escapades had ended with Beth forcing me out of the snow and into a jacket, I was shivering all ready but I didn’t care, my heart felt mended in a way that was inexplicably perfect.

I’d been forced into a hot shower by Katie, her overbearing motherly tendencies also making Alessia and Caitlin join me. Beth had been the only one to not enter the snow so she’d slipped her way into the dinner room whilst us other girls had been busy warming our bodies back up. Caitlin and Alessia were fairly quick, but I took a little bit longer, my body still shivering even as I exited the shower to throw on some sweats.

Katie’s furrowed brow was enough to tell me that she was a little worried about the fact that I was still shivering and cold, but she didn’t vocalise her worries, instead opting to rush me and the other girls into the dinner room. Somehow our absence had gone unnoticed, something that I was shocked by because we were hardly the quiet crew of the group.

I’d slid into a seat across from Viv and beside Steph, my body still a quivering mess. Viv’s eyeroll was enough of an ‘I told you so’, the older dutch woman clearly disapproving of our decisions. I tucked into my dinner, pesto pasta with chicken and garlic bread. It didn’t take long for Steph, my fellow Matilda to notice my shivering body. My fingers struggling every once in a while to hold my fork still.

“Little bit cold, y/n/n?”

I smirked and chuckled at the light implication from Steph, trying my very hardest to not give away the intense chills that were wracking my body, I was sure they would fade eventually.

“Just not fully used to this London weather I suppose, had someone warned me it was going to be so cold I think I would have stayed in Perth.”

Steph nodded at me knowingly, before returning to her conversation she’d been having with Beth, leaving me face to face with Viv, who had worry weaved between her brows as she studied me. Beth and Viv had just been two of the people who had taken me under their wing since my arrival at the Arsenal. Viv especially, although she’d never admit it, had particularly gone out of her way to look after me. On top of the two captains, Leah and Kim who had practically adopted me as soon as I’d walked through the doors. Leah was harder on me then anyone else, considering she was also a mentor to me on the defensive side of the pitch, so when she’d taken me under her wing I’d been a little bit terrified. She was always on my ass, I was always the first person in trouble with her and the first person to be blamed for anything. I was also the youngest on the team, and my personality was loud and bubbly, something that didn’t assist in helping me keep my head down around the team.

It was one of the reasons Beth and I got on famously, the both of us always looking to cause a little bit of mayhem but most of all have fun, Katie normally getting caught up in our antics considering she was the team's designated prankster.

Right now though, I felt anything but bubbly, my head beginning to pound against my trembling form as I pushed the pasta around my bowl, no longer feeling the overwhelming hunger I’d left a few minutes ago.

It was the clambering of a teammate sitting down beside me that pulled me from my daze, dropping my fork on the bowl as I turned to see who was sitting next to me.

“Hey lover girl.”

Kyra’s hand found it’s way to my head, ruffling my hair, her hand retracting back quickly though as soon as she made contact with my scalp, her eyebrows furrowing into a similar expression to what Viv had given me a few minutes ago when I’d been caught out by her.

“Why’s your head so cold? Feels like you’ve just come out of the ice baths.”

Kyra’s voice was nothing but friendly, but with the mixture of my sudden headache and my annoyance over people telling me that I was cold I couldn’t help but give her a bitten back response.

“I’m fine, just leave me the fuck alone.”

Kyra visibly flinched back at my words and everyone around us went quiet fairly quickly, everyone sensing the sudden tension and confrontation occurring between me and my teammate. Kyra slid into the seat beside me, one of her hands falling to my thigh which I immediately flinched away from.

“Everything okay, sweetie?”

I moved myself away from Kyra, inching myself further towards Steph, my other national teammate who seemed as equally confused by my behaviour as Kyra was.

“Y/n, a word?”

It was the voice from the other end of the table that captured my attention, Leah standing from the table already, clearly having detected the awkwardness between Kyra and I.

I clambered my way from my seat, scuffing my feet against the carpeted floor of the dining room as I tagged along behind Leah, following her out of the room and out into the corridor. I flicked the hood of my jumper over my head, toying with the drawstring as Leah turned to face me as soon as we were out of earshot from the group.

“What was that about?”

Her facial expression was as stern as ever as she looked at me, I kept my eyes on my feet, my head fucking hurt and I was still shivering, it was less noticeable though as I stood, I kept my hands out of sight and tried my very hardest to keep my body still.

“She was pissing me off.”

I could hear Leah frowning from in front of me, I didn’t need to look at her face to sense it.

“Does her pissing you off make it okay to tell her to fuck off, because I would hardly say that she deserved that, what’s up? This whole attitude is hardly normal for you.”

I kept my eyes focused on my shoes, toying with a bit of fluff that was stuck on the carpet, edging it slowly across the material with my shoed foot.

“Nothing’s up, I’m fine.”

Leah’s arm grabbing for my sleeve covered hand hadn’t been what I was accepting, the action drawing my eyes up to meet her own.

“I won’t have this piss poor attitude, go home, get some sleep and be here with a fresh mind tomorrow morning, understood?”

I pulled my hand from Leah’s, not letting her hold on to mine long enough to feel the tremors coursing across my skin.

“Aye, Aye, captain.”

I rolled my eyes at Leah, fake saluting her as I walked back into the dining room, picking my keys and phone up from the table quickly before exiting the building, not leaving any room to ask any questions as I stormed out of the room.

I somehow made it back to my apartment without passing out at the wheel, a miracle if you asked me. I didn’t have the will to do anything besides fall straight into my bed, very quickly changing into a pair of flannel pyjamas and stacking a pile of blankets on top of my sheets before climbing into the bed and relaxing into the mix of blankets, the mixture of heat and darkness calming my symptoms just enough to lull me into a fever induced sleep.

I woke up multiple times during the night, vomiting, coughing, sweats, chills, it all. My sleep was restless and by the time my alarms were going off I felt worse than ever. I was supposed to be at training by 9, but I could hardly manage to get out of bed to get to the toilet, let alone even attempt to try and put my training gear on and run around on a football pitch for three hours. I let my phone snooze one last time before flicking a text to Jonas, telling him that I was feeling a little bit under the weather and was just going to take the day to recuperate, all though something in my gut told me that one day wouldn’t be enough, not with the croaky cough that was wracking my whole body and the fever that I knew I was running. It was winter in London, I’d probably just picked up a 48 hour bug.

Jonas replied fairly quickly, telling me that he hoped I felt better and that it was a good idea to take a rest day.

With that text I turned off all of my alarms and burrowed back into my blanket fort, the effort of even having to look at my phone and piece together a text being too much for my head. My whole body hurt, my chest and ribs hurting every single time I took a breath, let alone coughed. The chills from yesterday were yet to pass, my whole body feeling like I was still out lying in the snow, even though I knew in reality my whole body was overheating. That thought still didn’t stop me from piling more blankets on top of my body, settling back into my bed with a groan as a wave of nausea and pain washed over me.

I faded in and out of the day, similarly to as I had done at night, my fever induced state making even my conscious moments feel like a dream. I ignored the incessant sound of my phone buzzing on my bedside table, opting to ignore anybody or anything that was popping up on it, I had one job in North London, play football, and I’d alerted my coach so that was as far as my social correspondence needed to go, any teammates or friends who decided my life was their business didn’t matter to me right now, my body hurt to much to care.

Somewhere around 5 or 6 the incessant coughing came to be too much for my body and I found my body keeled over the toilet bowl, dry heaving as I coughed up the mucus and phlegm that was caught up in my lungs. It was a painful experience, my lungs burning with every single breath that left my body, the oxygen burning on its way in.

I dragged myself back to my bed once I was done, the sun just beginning to set and my body having the capacity to do nothing more than lie down in my bed and wait for darkness to come so I could go back to sleep, tomorrow was our day off, so at least I didn’t have to worry about explaining another absence to Jonas.

My sleep through the night was even worse than the previous day, probably credited to the lack of energy I had in my body. The pain in my chest worsening drastically and in the wee hours of the morning I dragged a blanket and pillow into my ensuite, coming to the realisation that I didn’t have the energy to walk back and forth from the bathroom every time I had to go to the bathroom, which was fairly frequent with the amount of shit I was coughing up. I contemplated calling a teammate or Sam, whose apartment was fairly close to mine and I trusted her enough to ask her to come over. I didn’t though, opting to fall asleep on my toilet seat instead of getting up to go fetch my phone.

I stayed like that for most of the night, I think, honestly somewhere along in the night it all blurred into one. Until I was awoken brutally at 8am by the sound of pounding on my apartment door. I ignored it, half not believing that the sound was real and that it was just the sound of my fucking skull pounding against my brain in my head, a reflection of how my head had felt for the past 24 hours.

The knocking only grew louder and more persistent though, until it finally ceased and not much longer than 30 seconds later I was face to face with my two arsenal captains, both of their faces pink and rosy from the London cold and slightly exasperated.

“Hey skippers.”

My voice was laced with delirium, the only thing keeping me conscious at that point.

“Hey Joey, how you feeling?”

Leah walked cautiously towards me, letting Kim do the talking whilst she approached me and pressed the back of her palm to my forehead, grimacing almost immediately as her hand made contact with my own skin. I leant into the contact, her hand a relief from the fluctuating temperature my body had been upholding.

“Fuck, she’s burning up.”

Leah’s accent was thicker than normal, her voice covered in a blanket of concern that I’d never heard before.

“I’ll get Katie and Viv to come up, they can help get her into the car, we’ll have to take her to A&E, it’s bloody impossible to get an appointment with a doctor at this time of year.”

I shook my head at Kim almost immediately, or shook it as much as I could with the headache I had.

“M’ fine, just a 48 hour bug.”

My voice made me sound so much smaller, like I was a six year old and it was doing absolutely nothing to get my point across, in contradiction probably making my argument far weaker.

“Viv told us about you playing in the snow. What were you thinking? Playing in the snow with no clothes on after training, different breed you aussies.”

Kim mused at me, smiling a little bit as she watched Leah hurry around my bathroom, searching around. I frowned guiltily, knowing that once I felt better, once this was all over I’d be on the receiving end of a rather lengthy lecture about not endangering myself, a lecture I was sure Beth and Katie would have already received, considering Viv had snitched on us.

“I’m fine, I feel fine.”

My words were followed up by a fit of coughs that had me leaning back over the bowl of the toilet coughing up more phlegm, hardly a convincing point. My cough was dry, from the lack of fluids I’d consumed and the lack of liquids that were left in my body from the vomiting. My throat completely raw from the continuous retching.

“Don’t sound fine, sweetheart.”

Kim’s words were paused by Leah exclaiming as she located my first aid kit, that the two of them had put in my apartment when I’d moved in, claiming I was far too clumsy to not have one. She pulled out a thermometer almost immediately.

“I’ll make you a deal sweetheart, if you are below 38 then we’ll stay here. Me and Leah will look after you, like we could have yesterday if you had called us, or anyone. If you are above 38 though then we have to go to the hospital, because we don’t want you getting seriously sick, I know it sucks but we have to keep you safe sweetie. Kerr would have my neck if I didn’t return her best defender back in perfect condition when the international break rolls around, understood?”

I frowned at Kim, her stern scottish accent leaving no room for argument. I opened my mouth up to Leah, letting her slip the piece of metal into my dry and inflamed mouth. Waiting patiently until it beeped and frowning almost as soon as she saw it.

“41.”

Fuck. That number even made me frown a little bit, because that was unsafely high and all of us knew it. It explained all of my symptoms, and the cloud that I’d been floating on for the last day, a fever induced high that was the cause of my incessant sweating and shakes.

Kim frowned down at me, I shrugged at her in defeat, both of us knowing what it meant.

“C’mon sweet, let's get you changed and in the car.”

I looked up at Leah, my body folding in defeat as she bent down to lift me from the floor. I immediately wrapped my arms around her, letting her carry me back into my bedroom. She made quick work of changing me out of my pyjamas into a plain grey pair of sweatpants and an arsenal hoodie, giving me a peck to the forehead once she was done getting me changed. Her lips, cold from the London air felt so good on my burning skin, relaxing the itching and searing sensation that had covered every surface of my skin.

“Kim?”

Kim had busied herself with collecting a bag of my belongings, chargers, electronics, a change of clothes, and my toiletries. I had pretty much gone limp in Leah’s arms, letting her brush through my hair and comb it into a plait at the back of my head. The vice captain whispering sweet nothings in my ear as I groaned and coughed, my body tired from the constant pain.

“Yes, Joey?”

She took a pause in her hunt for my things, turning to face me, one of her eyebrows quirked at me in questioning. .

“Do you think you could text Sammy for me, please, and maybe Macca, I don’t want them to worry about me.”

My voice was so quiet I wasn’t even sure she’d heard it. The worry was growing on me though, the realisation that I really wasn’t as well as I’d been telling myself and Sam would want to be the first person called. Kim gave me a little smile before nodding and getting back to her job, collecting the last of my things just as I heard my front door open again.

“Of course I can sweet, let’s just get you in the car and then we can text whoever you need, alright?”

I heard Katie and Viv making their way through my flat, eventually making it to the doorway of my room, poking their heads around the side of my bedroom door.

As soon as I caught sight of Viv I bursted into tears, no longer being able to hold in the emotions that I’d holed up for the better part of the past 24 hours.

She was quick to be at my side, not protesting whatsoever as I threw myself into her arms, soaking the shoulder of her jumper with my tears and snot immediately. I was a blubbering mess, murmuring a flurry of apologies and admissions into Viv’s collarbone, the guilt of my actions settling into my gut.

“Hey, liefje, it’s okay, take some deep breaths for us.”

I burrowed my head into Viv, the feeling of sickness washing back over my body and making me feel worse.

“We’ve got you kiddo, I know you feel icky, but we need to get you to the hospital, to get you some help, so you can feel a bit better.”

I groaned into Viv’s body, rolling my eyes as she snickered a little bit at my reaction.

“I know you don’t want to, but we’re all really worried about you and you need some help, you're burning up like crazy, so let us take you, please?”

Leah’s palms were rubbing circles into my back, relaxing the muscles that were so tense. Viv’s arm was wrapped tightly around my shoulder, like she was protecting me from the world.

“C’mon kid, Katie and I have the car downstairs, all warm for you.”

Viv’s offer was enough to have me sighing in defeat and pursing my lips. I nodded half heartedly, letting Leah pull me from Viv’s arms so she could stand up. Leah helped me to pull my ugg boots over my feet whilst Kim and Katie finished collecting my things. I tried valiantly to walk by myself, but only made it to my doorway before my legs were weakening below me and Leah had to catch me. She carried me bridal style to the car, squishing me into the backseat between her and Kim.

My head found its way into the nook of Kim’s neck, silent tears and snot making its way down my face as we drove slowly towards the hospital. Leah, with a tissue at hand, very discreetly wiped at my face when I needed it and kneaded my arm muscles with her hands, helping my trembling hands to relax just a little bit. Slowly as we continued to drive any energy that I had previously possessed started to fade.

Kim called Sam, at my insistence, Sam was worried as soon as she heard Kim’s voice and after the explanation practically begged Kim to let her speak to me, so I was put on the phone with Sam, even at my reluctance.

“Joey?”

“Yup.”

“Hey sweet, how you feeling?”

I gulped slightly, not wanting to make Sam worry but also not wanting to lie to my skipper.

“Shit, I’m fine though.”

I could hear Sam’s eye roll from the otherside of the phone.

“41 degree temperature doesn’t sound too fine to me, what were you thinking?”

“Just wanted to have some fun.”

Sam’s scoff from the other side of the phone was enough to tell me she was more than displeased with my actions, something that most of the people in the car seemed to share.

“Next time you want to have fun, can you do it with someone other than McCabe, I hardly think she’s a role model for you, considering both of your reckless personas.”

Somehow Katie managed to overhear Sam’s words, a look of complete offence washing over her face.

“I’ll have you know Kerr that she practically begged me.”

Leah shushed Katie with a glare, the guilty look on Katie’s face told me she’d already had to hear a mouthful from our captains, and she would be on the receiving end of another one if she didn’t shut her mouth.

“Mm, sounds like our girl, well I’m going to go collect Alanna, Macca and Caitie, who are all very concerned about your wellbeing and we’ll see you at the hospital, okay?”

“Mm kay, thank you Sammy.”

As soon as the phone call ended I passed my phone back to Kim, relaxing my body back against hers, the actions of the day taking a toll on my body and resulting in a dramatic drop in my energy levels.

When we did arrive at the hospital I was hardly coherent, back on a fever induced cloud that made me hardly conscious. Katie was tasked with carrying me into the ER, Leah not being able to carry me much further than a few feet with her recovering knee injury. When we made it into the ER I was immediately tended to and sent straight into a room. My body was immediately connected to a series of machines and wires.

I fought against the nurses, to the point where Leah had to actually climb into the bed with me to keep me calm, my delusional body unhappy with the cold hands and cords connecting with my body. The contact with Leah though had seemed to calm me enough though for the doctors to be able to do their jobs and connect me up to monitors and IV fluids that my body was in desperate need of. There was a lot of bustling happening around me, but I kept my eyes closed, feeling instantly better when some pain relief and medicine was administered to my body, making me sleepy enough to fade into a deep sleep.

When I woke up I was hit with a reminder of my throbbing headache, my whole body hurt. Chest, ribs, head, it all hurt. I struggled to open my eyes and when I did my headache was only worsened by the light flooding into my room through the gaps in my blinds. I was shocked by the sheer amount of people crowded in my room, a different room to the one I’d fallen asleep in. My eyes flashed across my body, taking in all of the wires that my body was connected to, wires, leads, IV cords, my body was covered in more wires than it was skin. I panicked almost immediately, reaching to pull at the cords but my hands were stopped almost immediately.

“Hey Joey.”

It was Kim’s eyes that caught my own, her deep Scottish accent getting my attention and taking it away from the crawling feeling across my skin that all of the wires were causing.

“W-What happened?”

My eyes were darting across the room, my brain trying to remember what course of events had lead to me being in this position. My eyes caught onto my teammates, who were piled on sofas and chairs in the room.

“You went out in the snow, do you remember that? Katie took you out and you got a chill from it, because your body was vulnerable with the cold you developed pneumonia, pretty serious, you had us all worried for a little bit. Leah and I came to your apartment, because you hadn’t shown up to training and we were all worried about you, and we found you and took you here.”

It was a lot of information to take in, I couldn’t do much more than nod my head at Kim, like a goldfish.

“M’ sorry for worrying you.”

Kim smiled at me, shaking her head.

“It’s okay Joey, all forgiven, we’ll talk about it another day, right now you need to focus on getting yourself better.”

I pursed my lips, eyeing Sam who was sitting at my bedside, looking me up and down. There was a lot of emotions on her face, her jaw was locked and I could see some disappointment and concern in her eyes, amongst other things.

“Sam-.”

“We’ll talk about it another day Joey, I’ve already laid into McCabe about not giving into you, I don’t think Williamson is going to be letting you out of her sight anytime soon. I just want to know why you didn’t call me, or anyone. Sweet, there are so many people around who care about you and you worried us all, had you called anyone when your symptoms had started to show, or even the previous morning this all could have been avoided.”

Sam’s voice was stern, the voice she used when she mad at one of her girls for getting in unnecessary trouble.

“Didn’t want to bother anybody.”

Sam stood up at my reply, taking two short steps to my bedside and looking at Kim.

“Nobody in this room would have felt bothered, you were sick y/n, seriously sick and had Kim or Leah not decided to come and check on you, you could be dead right now, or in the ICU. You are so lucky to have a group of people that genuinely care and love for you and it worries me that you aren’t utlising that, what did I promise your parents when you told them that you were going to be making the move to London?”

I bit down hard on my lip. Sam had always been like my second mom, or older sister, ever since I’d started playing with the Matildas, when I was 15. She’d been a major influence in my life, so when my parents had found out that I had plans to move to North London to play for Arsenal at 19 they were displeased to say the least, I was hardly 18 as well, still a baby. They’d made Sam promise a bunch of things to them, considering we were both in London together.

“That you wouldn’t let anything happen to me, and you’d keep me safe.”

Sam’s jaw locked even more than it previously had, her eyes were dark brown, stormy almost, I could feel the internal conflict she was going through just by looking at them.

“Exactly, so how do you think it makes me feel when you are endangering yourself? It makes me feel like I should be calling your parents and telling them that maybe this wasn’t the best decision, maybe you need another year or two at home before you can live by yourself out here.”

I shook my head at Sam, that was the last thing I wanted. After all, it had taken so much begging with my parents to get me out here in the first place, being sent back practically ensured they’d never let me come back out here.

“Sam, please, this is where I need to be.”

“I have no doubt in my mind that those words are true, on a playing level you should be here. But you continue to prove that you can’t be trusted to make decisions for yourself. Going out in the snow was crazy, not telling anyone you felt sick was crazy. You're not proving to me or your parents that this was a good idea.”

I could feel tears brimming up in the back of my eyes. It had taken a lot of effort to get my parents to let me be here, there was nothing they wanted less than to send their eighteen year old daughter to London, all by herself, playing in a senior women's team.

“Please, please let me stay. I can’t go home, if I go home then that’s the end for me, Perth won’t take me back after how I left. My parents have enough on their plate with six other kids, let alone having to deal with me, please, I need to stay. I’ll make better decisions, I promise, please just let me stay.”

I’d shot up in the bed, tugging the cords and blankets up with me. Sam sat herself down on the edge of my bed, looking at me eye to eye.

“I know you’re sorry, and I really want to believe that you can do this, there is nothing that I want more than for you to be here and proving how amazing you are, but your risking your own health Joey, and I toe the line there. What happens when you get injured and decide not to tell anybody, I know you and I know that you are never going to ask people for help and I can’t be around 24/7 here to look out for you, if I could I would. I can’t trust that you are going to look after yourself when I’m not here.”

I felt a series of big, fat, wet, warm tears drip down my cheek, I felt like shit and all of my dreams were being crushed.

“We’ll look after her, we’ll take her in if we have to. Nobody wants to see y/n/n going home because of this, we’ll look out for her, please don’t make her go home.”

It was Beth’s voice, from the other side of the room that caught my attention. There was a guilty expression across her face, Alessia, Katie, Caitlin and Beth all carrying the same similar guilty expression, my accomplices.

Sam turned to Beth, it was clear she was tossing up her options.

“Beth’s right, she should stay, she’s worked hard enough to stay and we can hardly afford losing any defenders right now. I’ll take her in, she can move into the spare room in my house, I run a tight ship, I’ll keep her under control.”

It was the voice of Leah that was both my saving grace and sent a chill of fear down my spine. Moving in with Leah didn’t exactly sound like my dream situation, I knew that Leah would hold me accountable for my shit, something I wasn’t necessarily ready to deal with. Sam had immense respect for the England captain though, often times she’d expressed to me how much she admired Leah for doing what she did at such a young age, she was stern though, she didn’t forget anything and nothing got past Leah.

“Okay, if she can move in with Williamson then she can stay, this is all stuff we can talk about when you are feeling better though, you need your rest joey, with all those meds running through your body god knows how tired you must be, hm?”

I squirmed a little bit under the covers, not wanting to give into Sam’s words but also not denying that she was right, I did feel tired. Sam’s hand found its way to my cheek, wiping away the tears I had shed and giving me a little smile, the smile she kept for these moments, the rough ones that warranted some kind of assurance that it was all going to be okay.

“Go to sleep Joey, we’ll figure it all out when you are feeling better, right now you need rest, so you can feel better.”

I relaxed back into the uncomfortable hospital pillows, that all of a sudden didn’t feel so uncomfortable to my body, which was slowly starting to fade into a deep cloud of sleep. Sam pressed a kiss to my hairline before sitting back down in her seat and watching me drift off to sleep. Maybe everything wasn’t perfect, maybe I still had things that I needed to learn but I did have one thing, and that was a family that I’d found in my teammates.

[writeroutoftime]

flufftober day 2 - family, friends, loved ones

pairing: jamie tartt x reader

words: 0.7k

oOoOo

“Sometimes it feels like we’re never going to get married.” you lamented to Keeley and Rebecca as the three of you sat around Rebecca’s flat, sipping on wine with a trashy movie on in the background. 

Being engaged to one of the biggest, hotshot players in the league was not all it was cracked up to be. Just over a year ago, Jamie had gotten down on one knee and popped the question, but between your schedule and his, you were in a perpetual state of engagement. 

“Babes, it’ll all work out, I know it. But as long as the two of you know the commitment you want to make to each other, that’s all that matters, right?” Keeley reassured you, rubbing a soothing touch up and down your arm. 

“I suppose you're right.” 

“Of course she is.” Rebecca interjected. “My wedding to Rupert happened weeks after he proposed, cost a fortune, was a whole fucking affair turned out to be a pile of shit.” 

Though you and Keely tried to keep a straight face, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Rebecca’s mini rant, her eventually joining in. It made you feel a bit better, and the thought slowly began to dissipate from your mind. 

It wasn’t until two weeks later that you thought anything about your conversation with Keeley and Rebecca. You and Jamie had been called into the Dog Track, but neither of you were sure as to why. It was an off week for a match and a rare, free Saturday for the team to enjoy. 

The two of you walked into the building, hand in hand, only to be met with Keeley and Roy, with a huge grin and a half scowl on their faces respectively. 

“Finally!” Keeley cried, reaching to grab your hand and pull you away. Before Jamie could even protest, the blonde threw a quick “We’ll see you two later.” over her shoulder. 

All your questions went unanswered until Keeley pulled you into Rebecca’s office, where the room in question stood waiting with three glasses of champagne and a mischievous smile on her face. You glanced around the room, eyes narrowed in confusion until you spotted a dress hanging a ways away - a white dress. 

“Umm, guys, what’s going on?” 

The two women looked at each other before looking back at you. “Do you trust us?” Rebecca asked. 

oOoOo

Forty minutes later and you found yourself outside on the pitch, Jamie being led out by Roy and some of the other players. The two of you met in the middle and found Ted waiting there in a nice suit, and a cheesy grin on his face. 

“Hey, y’all,” Ted started. “I know this isn’t necessarily the big day you probably dreamed of, but we thought we’d throw you this little party. Now Beard here has gotten himself ordained and we’re all ready to perform a little ceremony so that one of our favorite couples can call themselves hitched.” he smiled, before rushing to add on “‘Course, you don’t have to go through with this. We don’t mean to overstep, just wanted to do something nice for you two.” 

You were stunned and overwhelmed by the love you felt from this team, and it was hard to stop the tears that pricked at the corner of your eyes. A huge grin overtook your features and you turned to look at your fiance, giving him a questioning look. Jamie looked towards his team, back at you, and smiled with the slightest nod. Both of you knew what your answer was. 

“We’d love to.” Jamie said and was quickly drowned out by the cheers of everyone waiting to hear your decision. 

You couldn’t help but laugh as Jamie was rushed down to the makeshift aisle with Beard while Keeley and Rebecca quickly walked down as your ‘bridesmaids,’ and Ted stood back with you offering you his arm. 

“Hope you don’t mind, but can I walk you down?” he asked. 

By that point, tears of joy and love were streaming down your face as you could only nod in response. It might not have been the ceremony you were expecting, but all that mattered was that you were surrounded by the people who loved you and you, finally, got to join your life with the man you loved. 

[mimikyuno]

i was just talking with my wife about this over breakfast but i rly hope this whole transvestigation paranoia becomes a breaking point because it’s insane? like i hope it snaps some people out of their transmisogynystic daze bc what are you saying? where is the limit?? are you demanding any woman who looks vaguely “masculine” take a chromosome test?!

like first their credo was that “a woman must have a vagina and uterus” but that’s not enough anymore for them, now u need to be born a woman “the right way” or you’re a man. never mind that a huge argument they have used against trans women is that they were “socialized as men” (ridiculous take btw, let’s not even get there) and as such can never understand womanhood and really be a woman okay then why are u saying that even if imane was afab and raised a girl she’s still not enough of a woman?! they’re always like “misogyny is sex-based” and it doesnt matter how a woman presents bc it’s her Biology that primes her for abuse (real takes i have seen!!!) but then say that a cis woman who was assigned female at birth is not Actually a woman bc some corrupt organisation that was accused of malpractice Maybe said she might have XY chromosomes. HELLO?! like do YOU know your chromosomes? do YOU know your testosterone levels? it’s so absurd it feels like im in the twilight zone.

also can we talk about how antifeminist it is to argue that someone is just too good at a sport to be a woman. what is wrong with you. hmm i wonder why men tend to be stronger overall? is it really just their “biology”? bc actually studies have shown that parents underestimate their daughters’ strength and do stuff for them and overall dont let them play rough while little boys are expected to be stronger and tumble. which child do you think will grow up with more muscle mass. which will grow up stronger and faster. i saw some altright men and terfs argue that it is Biologically True that men are Stronger and Faster and Better than women bc “look at the football league, the men are better”. like i wonder why?? could it be that the women’s league overall gets less funding, less intense trainings, and overall there’s less athletes to choose the best from bc on average more men pursue sports than women (for social reasons) etc.????

like how are terfs out there thinking they’re feminists. when they posts a picture of a woman of color and call her too ugly to be a “real woman”. do you see how racist that is?! i also saw them transvestigate the butch-looking polish contestant (for judo iirc) like?! “her hair is short and her face looks masculine” have u ever seen a butch woman irl. you stupid ass. and what if they’re trans btw?? ultimately it does not MATTER. olympic athletes are freaks of nature. usually they’re the best at a sport because they’re literally BUILT for it. they often have a natural advantage as well as years or practice. like what even is your argument anymore?! it’s a stupid sport competition to see who’s the best at certain sports how are u gonna determine which physical/biological advantages are okay and which arent?! y’all are one step away from requesting muscle fibers exam for black people to see if they have more type 2 fibers bc that makes them more likely to be fast. put a height limit for basketball players bc being too tall is rare and therefore unfair to shorter basketball players. banning women with PCOS from competing bc they have elevated testosterone. LIKE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE LIMIT FOR BIOLOGICAL ADVANTAGES IS. IM WAITING.

i think the insanity of the current situation truly is the culmination of all these phrenology-adjacent trends (like mewing and the rest of the “rate me” 4chan standards, look it up), white supremacy being allowed on mainstream platforms and transphobic panic all converging into this mass hysteria. it’s genuinely fascinating from a sociological perspective but jesus christ. the fact that if imane really was trans they could have gotten her jailed or worse. WAKE UP.

terfs love to call themselves feminists yet are using racist phrenology-like standards to determine who’s a “real” woman. being hairy? big nose? strong jaw? short hair? not a real woman :). please STOP. y’all are literally one step away from saying only white women are “real women” LMAO. trans women have been saying for years that transmisogyny IS misogyny (on steroids) and it WOULD bite cis women in the ass too but y’all didnt believe them till it Actually started affecting cis women.

i am hoping this is the peak of transphobia (specifically transmisogyny) and it’s downhill from here and society progresses 🙏🏻 like let’s move ON. enough is enough

[stargirlfeyre]

“Don’t get mad at us for Emerie not getting as much attention as Gwyn, get mad at Sjm for it because she’s the one who put more focus on Gwyn than Emerie”

Okay we can be mad at the both of you. Trust there is a lot to say about Sjm’s treatment of her poc characters and how Emerie being a woman of color who is also part of the Lgbtq + community is why she’s an afterthought for both this fandom and it’s author however that does not change that her self proclaimed fans do play a part in her erasure compared to her white counterparts.

I’m not going to deny that Sjm gave Gwyn more focus than Emerie because that literally proves our point. Though Emerie should be on equal standing as Gwyn, she is done a disservice by both “her” fandom and her author. I don’t know if Sarah fell into the “trio curse” when writing Acosf but each member of the Valkyries are not given the same level of importance even though they should be. Emerie should have as many important scenes with Nesta as Gwyn. Emerie should have paragraphs about her beauty the way Nesta or Gwyn do. Emerie should be given so much credit for how strong she’s had to be before she met the Valkyries and after. But for some reason she rarely is and it makes you wonder what is it about her that causes Sjm to do her such a disservice *cough cough*.

And onto the way her fandom treats her. You cannot deny that she is often pushed aside when it comes to the Valkyrie trio and trying to blame Sjm for all of it is crazy. Sarah isn’t the one forcing y’all to give an Illyrian plot that would fit Emerie to her white besties, Sarah isn’t the one forcing y’all to white wash her, Sarah isn’t the one forcing y’all to theorize that she’ll end up with a man simply because you don’t like the woman that she’s shown interest in, Sarah isn’t the one forcing y’all to treat Emerie as an after thought.

Compare how much Valkyrie fans talk about Nesta or Gwyn individually to how much they talk about Emerie individually…now I’m not going to sit here and tell you what to post on your account or that you have to like all the Valkyries equally but I’m also not going to sit here and let y’all play in people’s faces when they say “hmm it’s a little weird that the only woman of color in the group isn’t treated as important as her friends”.

You can sit here and call us “token fans” but all that does is tell everyone that you have no actual argument to justify the blatant Emerie erasure. If anything it’s us “token fans” that are actually concerned with how much she’s pushed aside when it should be you. But no you’re just too busy giving storylines that would fit her to the white women.

[uncriticalbunny]

me whenever I see people desperate for the writers to make sydney asexual and/or a lesbian.

long post ahead.

as a black woman who is ace, I don’t think sydney being asexual would be revolutionary or interesting. it would actually be so incredibly, hugely, profoundly... boringggggg. and people who insist on sydney being asexual get a massive side eye from me. especially white asexuals, because fuck your representation, and cishet people because who the fuck are y’all? 

so rarely are black women in tv and film treated with respect and nuance, much less when it comes to romance. so rarely are we treated as a person to be desired. to be loved. openly. warmly. carnally. even less so when it’s a darkskin black woman. writers pick from one of two things when it comes to black female characters: hypersexualized vs desexualized. superficially, for all outward appearances, there are lots of asexual black women in media. that is to say, they are certainly almost treated that way. unintentionally. intentionally. maliciously. void of sexuality or sensuality. no romance because she’s a Strong Black Woman who doesn’t need a man. or a relationship so pathetic that it can hardly be called a romance. would it be nice to have an asexual black female character who has a storyline that treats asexuality with respect? yes, yes it would. but that’s not really the point of this increasingly wordy essay. if the creators/writers are to be taken at their word that sydcarmy is strictly platonic, and they had her reject marcus because he misread their interactions, then it just shows they’ve developed nothing for sydney romantically. all the shots of carmy looking at her like she hung the moon and the stars are simply because she's his #bro. marcus really only liked her for her personality and simply confused that for romantic longing. platonic connections and a one-sided pursuit with zero heat. how groundbreaking. 

every fucking white character can have all of the romance-related things though. they can kiss each other, be shown as desirable, etc. etc. nat can be cuddled and cherished by pete. richie can go on dates in a nice suit with dirt caked under his nails, be loving with his then-wife, and ostensibly be wanted by jess. tiffany can still be yearned for by her ex-husband as she prepares to marry a new one. carmy can skip around like he’s in a romcom while neglecting his responsibilities to make out with claire and call her beautiful. claire can be shot in soft, dreamy sequences with closeups of her face and have a convo with her ass out for no reason other than to say she’s desirable and fucked carmy. claire and carmy can have screentime set aside for their relationship and a tender lovemaking scene. it’s expected for white people. it’s the norm. no romantic love for sydney though. because she’s driven. because she deserves better. because romance is unimportant. because she wants that star. because she can have no distractions. because asexual. because representation. [audience cheering]

sydney being a lesbian would also bore me immensely. too often are black female characters treated by writers as russian dolls with every diversity point they can think of. books, comics, tv, film, etc. she’s black, she's lesbian, she's asexual, she’s trans, she’s disabled, she’s poor, she’s this, she’s that. the diversity and representation everyone wants. why is every other character surrounding this ~pinnacle of diversity~ straight, or white, or a man? yes, because that’s who’s mainly writing and casting and greenlighting these things and maybe it’s silly to expect otherwise, but still, what the fuck? congrats on being represented by this fictional character. but it doesn’t feel genuine; it feels spiteful and lazy and self-congratulatory. like where's the other black women and diverse characters lmao. to be clear, I do want to see all the black lesbians in media because there's still not very many. and black women with one, or two, or all of those “diversity points” do exist in real life. we are lesbians, we are bi, we are disabled, we are trans. we're all of those and more. and we are loved and adored. on screen? maybe with a nonexistent or poor romantic storyline. or perhaps a decent and maybe even good storyline that eventually crashes and burns. there's a popular twitter thread right now about the disposable black gf trope and the examples that keep pouring in are bleak af.

the black lesbian character headcanon/canon increasingly feels like just another way to fridge us romantically. #notalllesbiantruthers but too many tbh. a black female character will simply exist without uttering a word and a slew of white women will be there to loudly proclaim her as the lesbian representation they want, need, crave, and adore. especially if there’s zero indication of the character being a lesbian. just stereotypes and vibes. hollow, insincere proclamations. bi black women don't even exist in their world. all these things I’ve observed with sydney. she's a bro, she's butch, she's a top, she's so husband-coded. babygirl is only reserved for the most woeful, pitiful white male characters. it's hilariously #coded. and no one will push back because after all, any gay representation is a good thing.

you’ll see hit tweets about how they know deep down sydney's a lesbian or how it will be so funny when the writers make her one. really, why is that? she can't be bi lest she actually gets with carmy. carmy can't be gay because they want to fuck him too badly. yeah I’m not so convinced all the lesbian sydney truthers earnestly want to see her loved, adored, cuddled, kissed, or fucked by another woman. because would that really be the writers’ objective or finished product? or will they just make her a lesbian and pat themselves on the back for doing only that. a throwaway line? maybe give her a cute romance built largely off-screen? lesbian sydney is a win for diversity and that’s enough. and who really wants to see sydney loved on loudly or be sexual anyway? that's not who she really is! she wears minimal makeup and oversized shirts and sweaters. let’s just focus on her working herself to the bone and getting that star. and I think deep down a lot of these truthers know her storyline possibly wouldn't be done justice. that's why it's going to be so funny to them when they make her one.

it all feels so shallow. fanfiction of sydney x fem!reader or original female character or nayia (the gorgiana black chef from s02ep03) is quite literally nonexistent [!!!]. sorry, y'all are not progressive or galaxy-brained. we get a black female character who’s multifaceted and fascinating, a deuteragonist even, in a show with a fandom that barely considers her as a person, and you’ve set your grubby paws upon her to be shelved romantically. bffr, the writers are already flailing romance-wise when it comes to sydney; they would not do an asexual/lesbian storyline justice. and even if they somehow make a halfway decent attempt, maybe they should have made it clear from the very beginning. not in season 3 or 4 or 5 or wheneverthefuck after they’ve given all the white characters romantic angles and developed her strongest and most important relationship with carmy, the main white guy or possibly because they hate the fact that people ship her with the main white guy. because then it just feels reactionary. and spiteful. and lazy. anyway, this ended up being way longer than I wanted. thanks for reading. fin.

[sanyu-thewitch05]

At some point I wonder if Black people get tired of consistently having egg on their face. Y’all love to defend other groups, but they rarely ever do the same for us as Black people.

Black people like to defend Latinos and they get a bunch of lightskinned and mixed Latinos saying the Ni**er to their faces because of their general ignorance of race vs ethnicity.

Black people like to defend indigenous people and they those same indigenous peoples(this really only applies to the ones in the south like the Cherokee, Seminole, Creek, and Chickasaw, and Choctaw) rarely ever acknowledge the fact they were oppressors to Black people. Or when’s someone brings it up, it’s “but they were kinder than the white people!” Like please-

Black people defend Asians, especially South East Asians, and we get them calling us slurs in their own language, extreme colorism, extreme texturism, and generational prejudice and biases about black people.

Black people defend biracials and their “blackness” and instead we get them replacing and erasing us in our own shows, other media, and praising the white features that they inherited from their white parent. Meanwhile, darkskinned women from Africa are called Eurocentric because they’re beautiful and have different features(despite black people saying we come in all shades and colors and features. Black people don’t like it when those different features aren’t on a mixed or biracial girl)

Black people defend the lgbt community and we get their community members saying we as black women aren’t women because of white supremacy.

Like are we not tired! Are you not tired of constantly being laughed at and being made the joke of the world?! Are you not tired your people are considered the front line warriors who will defend everyone if they don’t deserve it?! Would it kill the black community, especially the black girls and women, to focus on ourselves and our image that’s slowly disappearing. When will we learn to say it’s not our fight.

[amantesmultorum]

I hope everyone who contributed in the r.achel z.egler hate a very not good time. She’s a young 22 year old who is just getting started in Hollywood. She did not deserve the hate for the comments she said, MONTH(S) AGO that all of y’all (a very generalized y’all), decided to bring back up. A lot of the hate, at least to me, seemed like a way for people to hate as to hide their racism. But it clearly fucking showed your misogyny while no one likes to admit it.

All she said was the original Snow White scared her as a child, so she watched the movie for the first time in a long time, when she got the role.

And she also said they would be making changes, that the romance would be different. The romance that has been called out as creepy online multiple times by lots of people, long before she said it, she wasn’t the only person to ever say this, and also only lasted maybe 5 minutes of the fucking movie time total in the original animated movie.

I hate how all the hate was directed at an actress just doing her job in promoting the movie and it’s changed. Rachel was defending the changes because that was likely a part of her job and the promo/pr of the movie before the strike started.

Also Rachel is newly up and coming, she does not have the fucking power that Disney and other people in the house of mouse does that goes into the writing, green lighting, and production of the movie that other people will. Y’all’s gripes about the changes should not be with her but the other powers of be at Disney.

Also acting is a job, and while it may be preferable for an actor to like the characters they play, it is no required. They do not owe the fans that. Plenty of famous male actors don’t like the roles they played/are playing, and we rarely, if ever see them hated on.

It’s absolutely ridiculous how much people hate women. They will find any reason to hate on them, while defending men who are fucking criminals, or have done way fucking worse.

A lot of you didn’t like her because she wasn’t white and cast as Snow White, even tho Rachel is still pretty pale, and way more than qualified to play the character.

I hate y’all bullied her off her fucking social medias. And I hope to god some people have fucking hearts and empathy and feel fucking ashamed, even if you contributed the smallest fucking amount to all that hate she received. Cause it was disgusting.

[samkerrworshipper]

Have you been writing any ficus could we maybe get a sneak peek

ooo i can do that for y’all i guesssss

this is a little sneak peek at a arsenal fam sickfic that im writing thats kind of based off of a req

just r wanting to play in the snow and it ending with them really sick but not wanting to bother her teammates and ask for help

y’all should get the full thing later today or tomorrow !

———————————————————————

Doing snow angels after training in nothing more than shirts and shorts was never going to be a good idea, but I’d done it anyway. Me, Katie, Caitlin, Alessia and Beth having snuck out without telling any of our other teammates to have a moment in the snow. It was some harmless fun that we were sure our coaches and captains wouldn’t approve of, so we’d snuck out of the recovery room without anybody taking notice and had some fun in the snow. We hadn’t been out in it for much longer than 20 minutes, just long enough to slip out and in. It was rare for there to be so much snow so early in the year, I had hardly been expecting it and it wasn’t the normal sludge that North London was renowned for, it was proper fluffy white snow, the stuff you see in hallmark movies. I was the only player on the team who had never seen real snow before, so when I’d pleaded with Katie to take me out in it, she could hardly say no to me.

Beth, Caitlin and Alessia had just been casualties. Katie had taken Lessi under her wing since her start at Arsenal, the two had very quickly become bonded and there wasn’t much you could do with Katie anymore without Alessia and Caitlin being her companions.

Beth and Viv had happened to overhear our conversation in recovery and Beth had pleaded with us to let her come, Viv just shook her head at us, clearly in disapproval of our decisions but also not bothering herself with trying to stop us, there wasn’t any point, she wouldn’t win.

So we’d somehow managed to sneak out of the recovery rooms and out onto the spare field, which was covered in a blanket of white snow. Almost immediately I’d thrown myself down into the powder, shivering slightly at the coldness but not really caring, it was an experience that felt so incredibly surreal that I was in complete ignorance over my senses.

The four other women just sat and watched as I rolled around in the snow, Katie and Beth shaking their heads at my antics. Alessia busied herself with getting in a snowball fight with Caitlin. It had stayed fairly tame until I’d thrown one at Katie’s head and then it had turned into a full on war, ending with Katie and I wrestling in the snow.

Our snow escapades had ended with Beth forcing me out of the snow and into a jacket, I was shivering all ready but I didn’t care, my heart felt mended in a way that was inexplicably perfect.

I’d been forced into a hot shower by Katie, her overbearing motherly tendencies also making Alessia and Caitlin join me. Beth had been the only one to not enter the snow so she’d slipped her way into the dinner room whilst us other girls had been busy warming our bodies back up. Caitlin and Alessia were fairly quick, but I took a little bit longer, my body still shivering even as I exited the shower to throw on some sweats.

Katie’s furrowed brow was enough to tell me that she was a little worried about the fact that I was still shivering and cold, but she didn’t vocalise her worries, instead opting to rush me and the other girls into the dinner room. Somehow our absence had gone unnoticed, something that I was shocked by because we were hardly the quiet crew of the group.

I’d slid into a seat across from Viv and beside Steph, my body still a quivering mess. Viv’s eyeroll was enough of an ‘I told you so’, the older dutch woman clearly disapproving of our decisions. I tucked into my dinner, pesto pasta with chicken and garlic bread. It didn’t take long for Steph, my fellow Matilda to notice my shivering body. My fingers struggling every once in a while to hold my fork still.

“Little bit cold, y/n/n?”

[cassiopeiasara]

ALOTO Reflections

So I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to think of how I want to phrase my thoughts post finishing the season and I can’t promise full consistency or coherency but there’s something I want to explore and praise so much that my rambling be damned. So as my girl Issa once said, I go into every show like

Y’all I had such low expectations for Max’s storyline. I’m a fan of the original movie and I thought maybe they’d expand that minute with those black women to idk 5 in a few episodes then pat themselves on the back for a “diversity win” BUT THEY DIDN’T DO THAT!

Forewarned there will probably be spoilers ahead. Listen, I love period pieces so much and as a black woman, I’m so used to it being about nothing but our trauma as if one of the defining characteristics of Black people in the US isn’t finding joy in the most unimaginable circumstances. And beyond that, I’m used to seeing us portrayed as one dimensional as if we don’t have our own community and struggles and layers. 

Instead of those maybe 5 minutes I expected, we got Max and her place in a family who experiences a wonderful amount of success and status. I fucking love that her mom Toni not only owns her own business but it’s a beauty salon. One of the epicenters of black femininity specifically. I love that this is the legacy she wants to leave for Max and the fact that it won’t work for Max. Not only is there the very obvious fact that baseball is Max’s dream but also she interacts with her gender expression (as a fucking stud be still my weak lesbian heart) in a way where being in this very specifically defined feminine space would be stifling. BUT ALSO! That salon is home. Max won’t let a stranger cut her hair, she goes to her uncle because she needs the connection that exists in her family and her community. AND THEY SHOWED US THAT!

Clance, dear Lord, my beloved Clance. They gave Max not just a funny sassy sidekick but a woman who is supportive, hilarious and a vintage blerd (black nerd for those unaware). Also we get that lovely conflict of Clance being so stressed out about her housewarming because she doesn’t have the success of the Chapmans. Her place is still being established in her community. I just don’t have the words for how fucking rare that is to see portrayed in a lot of media much less in a period piece. Also all those instances where Clance tries to hold Max back because she knows the dangers of losing your shit in front of white folks. It’s an ever present force in both of their lives and the way they remind each other and protect each other, I could just sob. 

ALSO! I’m so beyond thrilled at the romances between black folks. Max’s parents are adorably and disgustingly in love and we don’t get that often enough with our legacies of families torn apart and violence (which are very real but it’s not all that exists). We also get Clance and Guy. I LOVE GUY. He’s so sweet and loves Clance so much and they are so wonderfully supportive and vulnerable with each other. AND WE GET TO SEE IT! Then Max, my wonderful wonderful Max gets to navigate two different avenues; one in which she’s a secret side piece of someone who doesn’t fully see her and one in which nestled in the safety and community built by her uncle she gets to meet a woman not in the dim shadows of a secret but in a bright light of joy where she presents in a way where she’s finally found comfort. And Bert and Gracie, my gosh Bert and Gracie, they’re like a queer version of my favorite aunt and uncle and they give Max a place and hope and they’re SO IN LOVE.

Honestly this was all beyond my wildest dreams and while I find myself grateful, I’m also in a place where I’m like it’s what we deserve. In fact we deserve whole shows like this in any period of time because we’re worthy and see what beautiful stories we can be?? Anyway, I’m going to go back to sobbing and probably rewatch this show a few more times. 

[fandomflux33]

If you’re a Good Omens and/or NG fan who isn’t personally or professionally related to Gaiman, take some time to figure out your relationship to the news that NG raped at least 6 people. Fr. Figure it out. We can’t be in denial. (If you don’t know about the allegations yet, you’re good boo, this is your notice).

For any conclusion you come to about the sexual assault allegations to be morally sound it should contain:

-Believe the women who spoke out against the sexual assaults. False allegations are rare, abuse common, and speaking up takes a lot of courage because it comes with harsh backlash from a wider culture that dehumanizes women and idolizes white men in power.

-NG being a terrible person has nothing to do with him being autistic (though he tried to excuse his behavior with his diagnosis to several women). Associating autism and NG’s crimes makes as much sense as saying someone committed murder because they have freckles.

-NG cloaked a lot of his abuse with feminist and LGBTQ+ allyship. If you felt supported or were supported by a popular artist being publicly an ally, and if you continued that support onto others, that does not make you complicit in the artist’s abuse. However, defending the artist’s abuse does.

-Completing Good Omens S3 is not more important than sexual assault victims receiving justice. This should be a no-brainer.

So there’s several directions the GO fandom can go from here, given these premises:

-Scream. Cry. Sing Irish dirges and burn a boat upon an ancient lake.

-Boycott: Boycott any merch or events which might give royalties back to NG and pirate any NG work you’re emotionally attached to. Only praise Terry Pratchett and other screen writers as the show and books’ creator, and demand NG be removed from any future GO’s writing or events. Continue the fandom with other creators.

-Dissolve: Maybe the series is ruined for you in light of the news of its primary author being a rapist. That’s totally understandable, be free, friend. Process your grief however you see fit and engage with other works of art.

-Disengage: Disengage, donate to a domestic violence shelter, take some time off from the fandom. Support works of other authors. Engage with fanworks when the brain worms hit. Become a more of a casual fan of the series.

-Full death of the author: it’s the fandom’s show now. Steal it. It’s ours. The author is dead to us and we are living.

-Denial: No. Don’t do that. Sometimes people you thought were plain good were secretly horrible people who were capable of a few good things. Deep breaths. It’s fucking hard to accept, but accept we must.

-Other: idk, my imagination is limited and y’all can process the news however you need to so long as it doesn’t hurt others

Tl; dr -Good Omens fandom, publicize the news of the sexual assaults as much as you can because media companies are covering it up. I don’t wanna see any more comments prioritizing S3 or NG over believing victims of sexual assault.

Neil Gaiman is understood to have offered to step back from the third and final season of Amazon Prime Video‘s fantasy drama Good Omens.

Deadline revealed on Monday that pre-production had paused on the BBC Studios-produced show in the wake of allegations made by four women against Gaiman, which he denies. This came after Disney’s planned feature adaptation of Gaiman’s 2008 YA title The Graveyard Book was also put on pause.

Now, we understand that Gaiman has made an offer to Amazon and producers to take a back seat on the latest season so that it can continue amid crisis talks over the Terry Pratchett adaptation’s future.

Amazon is understood to be considering Gaiman’s offer and no final decisions have been made. Good Omens S3 is currently in the early stages of pre-production. Gaiman has previously said the show, which is made in Scotland, will shoot from January 2025. Amazon declined comment.

[pbscore]

Mmm 🤔 I genuinely think another big reason that trans men and transmascs are holding onto the idea of ‘transandrophobia’ is because a good portion of them, including myself, grew up on this website where the early days of the trans community pretty much coddled and served us, all the time. And then, when many of us actually started to transition (be it socially and/or physically), it was a wake up call that reminded many of us that being read as a man by society means that your are going to be treated differently than how you were previously.

Like, this whole situation is just a giant example of ‘social amnesia’ because anyone who was on tumblr in the early days knows exactly what I’m talking about. There were hundreds upon hundreds of posts made specifically for afab trans/nonbinary people. There was constant encouragement for trans men to express themselves however they wanted to, especially if they presented in a stereotypically feminine way. There were whole ‘passing’ guides made predominantly for trans men and transmasculine people and rarely anything for trans women and transfems.

So to me, this whole ‘transandrophobia’ thing reads like a giant temper tantrum being thrown by grown ass people who cannot fathom that they are no longer those ‘uwu little soft boys’ from the early tumblr days of their own youth and that they actually have to be accountable for their behavior towards other people now that they are being read as adults/adult men. Particularly, towards women (trans women are obviously included when I say this but I’m just putting this here so there is no confusion).

Like, seeing some of them say such out of pocket stuff like ‘uwu I lost the privilege of having women as friends and being able to see myself as a victim and it feels so isolating being a man uwu’ just tells me how little they actually understand the ways in which systems of power and oppression work AND that they’re making their personal relationships with women out to be completely one-sided while suspiciously not ever considering their own behavior towards those women 🤔.

It’s never as simple as ‘women have it easy because they can become friends with each other and can see themselves as victims because of female socialization (which is literally a TERF term that blatantly supports bioessentialism…why are y’all using it???)’ Did y’all seriously forget that racism still exists for women of color? Did y’all seriously forget that many minority men will still have access to conditional privileges, as long as they can demonstrate ‘manhood’ in an acceptable way (which many of them do, so it ends up leading to serious misogyny in their own communities)?

And it’s really irking me to see not just some black trans men and transmascs feeding into this racist, MRA shit but to also see non black trans men/transmascs using issues specifically pertaining to anti-blackness (ex ‘masculine black people are seen as aggressive so therefore, it’s androphobia uwu’) to try to support their flimsy arguments and it’s genuinely infuriating. Even more specifically, it is white trans men and transmascs doing this while (ironically) denying transmasc poc their identities when we speak up against them. You are taking the context of anti-blackness away from those specific issues and trying to re-contextualize it to conveniently fit your ideas and it is incredibly harmful.

Victimhood has never been a ‘privilege’ for any women, except for cis white women (and even then, there can be limitations), so the fact that so many of these transandrophobia truthers see ‘womanhood’ as synonymous with ‘victimhood’ just tells me that they do not have enough nuance or even respect for what any women, especially women of color, have been through. Ask any woman outside of the US or Canada or the UK about their experiences existing as women. Hell, ask any woman here in the US how they’re feeling considering the insane amount of anti-trans AND anti-abortion laws that have been cropping up. Cis women, trans women, transfems, and afab nonbinary folks are all witnessing the same injustices of bodily autonomy as trans men and transmascs, yet this realization isn’t really hitting home to them.

They’re basing this entire ‘movement’ off of personal experiences where they are treated like the men they are, told to take some level of accountability for their behavior (which their tumblr addled brains aren’t used to), and then claiming that there’s some sinister ‘attack’ on masculinity when it’s far more complex than that. Femininity is in no way ‘rewarded’ as much as y’all claim it is, even in queer spaces.

Both femininity and masculinity can be rewarded and punished, in various ways, that are not going to be easy to understand at first glance. There are people who, when performing either of these things in the ‘acceptable’ way to a cisheteronormative society, will be rewarded the conditional privileges and acceptance that comes with it. And there are some people who will be punished for either not sticking to either of these or switching between them or mashing them together. However, there are many outside factors like race, sexuality, and culture that can also heavily influence who is more likely to be punished for these displays of rebellion than others.

I’m not sure how to end this but I do want to propose a question that more folks, regardless of gender, should start asking themselves before they start speaking on important social issues: is it really about you wanting to help the community or is it about you wanting to be noticed?

Because I’m gonna tell y’all this now…there is a world of difference between the two and you can’t have both, as much as tumblr will try to convince you that you can. If it’s just about you, then it can’t be about the community and if it’s about the community, then it can’t just be about you.

NOTE: if you’re not going to be nuanced or relatively understanding of the power dynamics I’m referring to in this post, don’t interact. I’m not about to argue with anyone.

[marchtomydrums]

Winter Wonderland

Alex Cabot x Olivia Benson X Reader

Walking towards the window you couldn't help the big smile that spreads across your face. Running towards the bedroom you jumped on the bed heading to the brunette first.

“Liv!” you shout shaking the sleeping woman.

She groans rolling away from you.

“Livvy! Wake up! Liv!” you shout continuing to shake her.

She groans once more burying her face in the covers. “no!”

You rolled your eyes looking over at the blonde shaking her as well.

“Lex! Lexie! Wake up!”

“What!!?” she whines rolling over to face you.

You smile “Come on get up I have to show you two something.”

The two older women groan as they watch you leap out of the bed running into the living room. Following behind they yarn and stretch as you stand excitedly by the window.

“Look.” You say pointing out the window with a smile.

The two walk closer to the window looking down to see the streets covered in thick white snow.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” You whispered in awe.

Olivia’s gaze travels from the streets back to you with an adoring smile.

“You woke me up for snow?” Alex grumbles.

Ignoring the blonde you look over at Olivia.

“Can we take a walk through Central Park? I saw some people headed that way.”

“You seriously woke me up for snow?!” The blonde shouts repeating herself.

Giving her a small smile you nod your head but your smile fades as you see the look of annoyance on her face.

“I umm…I’m sorry I didn’t think. I forgot that you two got in late. I shouldn’t have woken you.” You stuttered feeling silly for waking the two women.

“I made coffee. You can have some if you want or just head back to sleep. I’m going to throw some clothes on.” You mumbled walking towards the bedroom.

“Y/n,” Olivia calls out.

“No, it’s okay. I umm I’ll be right back.” You said giving her a small smile as you walked off.

The brunette sighs looking over at Alex.

“Nice going Alex,” she says shaking her head.

Olivia walks past her heading your way when Alex stops her.

“No. I’ll go. It’s my fault. Will you make my coffee please?” She asked.

Olivia nods kissing her on the cheek.

Alex smiles as she walks into the bedroom. Knocking on the bathroom door she waits for you to answer.

“Yeah?” You called out.

Alex walks in while you brush your hair. She gives you a small smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” You smile back as you look back towards the mirror.

Alex sighs “Baby I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I didn’t get much sleep on top of already not being a morning person but that is no excuse. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Especially when you were so excited.”

“No big deal.” You smiled walking past her.

“Do you still want to go to the park?” She asked following behind you.

“I can go on my own. I understand if you guys need more rest.”

Alex sighed walking forward and reaching for you as she halts your movements.

“Hey. Look at me please.” She says softly.

You sighed dropping your shoes as you looked up at her.

“I’m sorry. I really am. And I would love nothing more than to walk with you.”

“You don’t have to…”

“But I want to.” She says cutting you off.

You smiled leaning in to hug her.

Alex smiles hugging you tight against her.

“I’m sorry if I was overly excited. It’s just... I’ve only been in New York for a few months and where I’m from we rarely get snow. Hell, I’ve only ever seen snow four times in my 27 years.”

“Really?” She asked.

You nod “Yeah. And I’ve never seen it like this before…so I was excited…and I didn’t think before I came running in here. I forgot that y’all are used to this.” You rambled on and on as Alex watches with a smile.

Finally the blonde ducks down pressing her lips to yours silencing your rambles. You moan into the kiss causing her to smile more.

Leaning back Alex looks at you “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You whispered.

She smiles leaning in once more for a small kiss.

“Just let me change and we will go.” She says walking towards the closet.

Once she was changed she smiles taking your hand in hers. “Come on let’s get some coffee before we head to the park.”

You smiled letting her lead the way as you walked to Olivia who was all ready to go with three to-go coffee cups.

“We good?” She asked.

The blonde nods. “Yup. Let’s go see some snow.” She smiles taking the cup from Olivia.

Olivia chuckles as she walks past her. She looks back just in time to catch your eyes.

“Here you go, sweets.” She says handing you the warm cup.

“Thank you, Liv.”

She smiles “Your welcome. Come let’s go.”

[jvngkook97]

The Final Countdown

pairing; non-idol!kim seokjin, student!kim seokjin x non-idol!reader, student!reader ft. ot7

genre; angst, fluff, s2l, college au, soulmate au

warnings; cursing, jealousy, a lot of college stereotyping, jin is a nerdy fuckboy in this one, but taehyung is worse, reader is very blunt and has no filter, has moments of narcissism, all the boys will make an appearance at some point and interact with reader in…various ways, some flirty, some not

rating; 18+

w/c; 7,125 oops they just keep getting longer

a/n; it’s been awhile since jin has seen some love, so let’s give him some, yeah? having fun with these soulmate au’s, not gonna lie! hope y’all like this one just as much as the others! like + reblog if you enjoyed, and feedback is always appreciated. <3 ps. this wasn't proofread and done through mobile so be kind pls + ty

soulmate au masterlist ~ coming soon!

Kim Seokjin. Certified campus playboy extraordinaire. Known to woo his fellow classmates not only with his good looks, but also his quick wit. His style always stayed on trend. He kept good repertoire with all his teachers, especially with the Dean. He did a lot of community work to add to his stellar college résumé, keeping up his 4.0 GPA despite his nightly and weekend activities with his frat boys, BTS, as they called themselves. No one knew what it stood for. They always seemed to travel in a group, or pairs. Rarely ever were they seen alone other than when partaking in their daily classes.

Kim Namjoon was the right hand man of the playboy, known to have a good head on his shoulders despite his choice of company. He also made sure to keep up with studies and extracurricular activities alike. Always there to bail out his best friend in times of need, and was actually good at keeping decent conversation. Unlike some of the other group members, he was the most pleasant one of the seven. Very respectful towards women, so you’ll have to give him a great mark for that fact.

Keeping up with the Kim’s, there’s Kim Taehyung. He was known as the ‘grandpa’ of the group. His clothes mainly consisted of sweater vests, corduroy pants, and shiny dress shoes. His signature was his various style hats he wore. From Fedora’s, Derby hats, Bowler hats, Newsboy hats, you name it, he’s probably worn it. With his suave charm to match, he always has some girl on his arm. Definitely one to watch out for, despite his nickname.

Jung Hoseok was the labeled ‘sunshine’ of the group. Always sporting a sparkling, white smile on his face whenever you see him. Majority of the time you would hear his loud voice, before seeing his figure literally skipping over to you. He was always on the move it seemed, being a lover of dancing. He always had headphones secured around his neck, when they weren’t positioned on his head. Wearing extremely vibrant colored clothes, it was easy to spot him from a mile away. He was the life of the party, and flirty to boot. If he beckons you with a pick up line that’s ready to fall from his lips at a moments notice, you better beware, cause that meant you were in his line of sight and he always gets what he wants.

Park Jimin shared the same sentiments as his fellow dancer, Hoseok, when it came to dancing. But other than that, they were the complete opposite. He didn’t wear vibrant clothes, but he wore a lot of designer. His grades were average, passable. Which is all he cared about when it came to doing homework. Though, if we’re being honest, a lot of the time it was someone else doing it for him. His charm knew no bounds when it came to the freshmen girls who were oblivious to his underlying motives of sudden attention towards them. But worry you not, he never slept with any of them. He had higher morals than that.

Min Yoongi was the ‘quiet’ one of the group. Like Hoseok, his own pair of headphones were basically attached to his body in some form. Everyone knew that if they were over his ears, you had no chance of getting his attention. So don’t even try. Opting to keep to himself, it was rare to see him in conversation with anyone other than his teachers when needed and his fellow group members. But he had high marks in all his classes, so not even the teachers bothered the reserved student too often. There was even a rumor going around that he must not have any teeth, cause he never smiled. Always wearing the same blank expression on his face, no matter the mood or atmosphere that hung around him.

And last, but not least, was Jeon Jungkook. He was labeled the ‘bad boy’ of the group. Piercings and tattoos alike could be seen on various parts of his pale skin. He always wore his signature leather jacket, never letting it out of his sight on the rare occasion that he took it off. Other than his jacket, his outfit always consisted of his shiny, platform, combat boots and various clothes only in the colors black and white. He carried an aura around him that was intimidating to those that didn’t know the male’s true nature. Which you would soon find out was the complete opposite of what everyone pictured him as, much to your amusement. Oh, and he had the literal voice of an angel.

So there they were, the OT7, as fans of the group called them. The ‘one true seven’. How did you get to know so much about them, and more importantly, why? Well, fortunately for you, it’s because you were assigned to the group to be a mentor of some sort, due to your higher marks and pristine reputation that even surpassed Kim Seokjin’s. Him being none the wiser, still believing that he was the best in his class or of the school itself. The Dean himself appointed you to the position in discretion, his secretary being the one to fill you in on each member, unbeknownst to the seven men. The only catch being, they could never find out what your true intentions were. So it’s like you were undercover. A spy, you thought with glee.

The mission? To survey and get close to Kim Seokjin specifically, and see if he’s truly worthy of receiving the same full ride scholarship that you are to a company only two students get accepted to every four years. Both his dream company, and yours. Luckily, that four years is during your shared senior year. The information you received of his group of friends was solely to help you get close to Seokjin through them. All becoming extremely valuable assets to your cause.

And what the Dean didn’t know, was that you had your own motives. Glancing down at the invisible counter on your wrist that only you could see, you saw the numbers decreasing rapidly. It made your once giddy smile fall flat from your face in humbling realization. You needed to find your soulmate, and you needed to find them, now. Before it was too late and both you and your soulmate would cease to exist, or in other words, you would die. And you couldn’t tell a single soul, which means neither could your soulmate. So no one could help you, but yourself. How fitting. And equally as cruel.

Thankfully, the universe had other plans for you. One being, you were able to receive one hint as to where your soulmate was located. But that one hint could only be revealed when you had 48hrs remaining on your time left. Which is exactly what you had left, give or take a few hours less. And the hint you received?

It wasn’t BTS, it wasn’t OT7, it was just Kim.

That’s all you had to go off, literally. The only way to find out if they truly were your soulmate? A kiss. A fucking kiss. Getting past the fact that it’s so cliche it physically makes your body cringe, you now had to potentially kiss three different guys who shared the same family name. And you weren’t the type of person to just go up to a random guy you never met and kiss them. That’s insane!

With no time to lose, you collected the pile of Manila envelopes that were on the Dean’s desk. Carrying the various confidential intel in your arms, you bowed to them respectfully, and made your way out of the office.

It was time to get to work.

——————————————————————

Your first victim? Kim Namjoon. The one that could hold a decent conversation and was respectful towards women. And with your luck? Hopefully he would be the only one you needed to kiss. Plus, having someone like him wouldn’t be so terrible as a soulmate. He could fit well with your ideals and future plans, you thought with a subtle nod of your head as you approached the unsuspecting male.

He was lost in his own world, reading a book on a bench that was shaded by the tall, full, tree that was located a few feet behind the bench. His legs were crossed, one hand holding the book open in front of his face that adorned his reading glasses on the bridge of his nose and the other was casually leaning against the back of the bench. Your little bookworm heart swooned at the sight before you.

Looking down at your book of choice, ‘The Great Gatsby’, a classic, you walked towards the other side of the bench that was unoccupied and sat down. Sliding down your own reading glasses on the bridge of your nose that were haphazardly just resting on the top of your head previously, you pretended to start reading. And you waited.

“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. ‘Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.’”

Grinning to yourself inwardly, your assumptions were correct. The male next to you took the bait you unknowingly dangled in front of him, and couldn’t help but quote the book you were currently ‘reading’. Perfect. Not the quote you would’ve personally went for, but it still works. Now, to turn on the oblivious charm, you thought rather maniacally.

“Excuse me? What was that?” You asked the male next to you with feigned confusion and just a hint of mock anger, making him believe that you thought he was judging you. He couldn’t help but find your expression cute. And your literature of choice made him all the more curious about you. He wanted to find out more.

“I was uh–I was quoting your,” he gestured with the hand that was settled a hair width away on the back of the bench from your shoulder, hand dangling from his wrist, he twisted it, pointing towards your book. “–book. I hope you didn’t think I was judging you.” his eyes went wide with sudden terror. Oh shit. You didn’t think that did you? Now becoming flustered, he tried backtracking his previous, seemingly rude, statement.

“I hope she'll be a fool–that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.” You quoted perfectly to the still visibly semi panicking male next to you, deciding to end his torment. Placing a hand over your mouth, you let out a small laugh. You think he had enough for the day.

His panicked face turned into one of relief, body sagging as he let his head fall into the middle of his opened book. Shoulders shaking lightly as he let out a chuckle of his own. Straightening himself up, he doggy eared the page he was reading to mark his place. Shutting the book with a satisfying sound only true bookworms would enjoy.

Turning his body to face you, he let out a dimpled grin. Moving the arm that once rested on the bench, he held out his hand towards you to shake and gave you the luxury of his full name. You returned the sentiment in kind.

“Nice too meet you, y/n. Hopefully, we can see more of each other in the future?” He not so subtly suggested, still wearing the same dimpled grin. How could you say no to that face?

——————————————————————

Having secured a contact with Namjoon during your first successful mission yesterday, where you put your phone number in his phone. You used reverse psychology on him that put the ball solely in his court if he wanted to see you again. He will, you thought confidently. And you know for a fact that they’re having a party tonight he can use as an excuse to hang out with you. Perfecting timing, considering you now have less than 24hrs to find your soulmate, no big deal.

He then calls, or texts. You’ll act like you can’t make it on the facade of having plans with a friend. Then you’ll give false hope that maybe you can, if so and so cancels on you, which they just so happen to randomly get sick out of nowhere. And BOOM. You show up in all your glory, surprising him at the party.

Which is where you were currently at, now.

Your plan working to a T.

With several bodies gyrating next to each other in the cramped house the party was located, your eyes catch sight of your next eligible bachelor, Kim Taehyung. He was leaning with his back against the wall, a random girl you’ve never seen before already pushing her boobs shamelessly into the side of his arm. You could tell he was both aroused, yet unamused at the girl’s antics. He was probably used to girls throwing themselves on him. You were about to change that fact.

Maneuvering your way through the crowd, you hiked up your already short school girl style skirt, showing more of your thighs, leaving what was almost visible to the imagination of wandering eyes. Thigh length, white, long socks encompassed your legs. Feet were clad in your black, red bottom, stilettos. Contrary to your skirt, your boobs were safely tucked away, yet still perky and full, beneath the straining buttons of your white button up, long sleeved blouse. A beige colored sweater vest was worn on top of the long sleeved blouse. And a perfectly placed, black ribbon, was tied neatly in the middle of the vest. You were the epitome of every guys sinful, school girl uniform wearing, wet dreams.

A look that caught Taehyung’s attention the instant you walked right past him, and outside into the almost semi-fresh air, if it wasn’t for the smokers that littered the backyard in groups. If only there was a designated smoking section, you thought bitterly. Not that you weren’t whole pro ‘your body, your choice’. No, you were. And some of the best people you knew chose to smoke, you just hated the putrid smell they emitted once burned. Turning slightly to make your way to the various alcoholic drinks that lay neatly spaced out by type on a large table, courtesy of Namjoon, you have no doubt, him being the perfectionist that he is, you glanced sideways. Sure enough, you could see that he was following you. Success. God, you were good.

Mixing yourself a random concoction of the various alcoholic beverages supplied, you placed the red solo cup to your lips, and taking a swig, you yet again waited. Sure enough, only a few moments later, he sidled up next to you at the table and poured his own choice of drink, whiskey. It suited him, you thought. As soon as he was about to open his mouth and address you, a voice could be heard calling out your name from behind you. Ah, two birds with one stone, you inwardly smirked at your luck. You immediately turned towards the voice, completely ignoring the presence of Taehyung next to you.

“Hey, y/n! Glad to see you made it!” Namjoon gracefully walked up to you, his dimpled grin on full display, one you never got tired of seeing. A smile could be seen on your face as well as you looked at the welcomed intruder.

“Joonie!” You replied with the unsuspecting pet name, hoping it would make the male behind you jealous. Your own smile on full display, only growing wider, upon further realizing a second body appear from behind his figure, flanking him. Jeon Jungkook. Seriously, how good was your luck right now? You should get a lottery ticket!

Mildly amused by the pet name, he laughed. Then proceeded to engulf you in a hug, where you realized just how tall the guy was. Your head barely making it a little below his chest, where his abs surely were. Returning the hug just as enthusiastically, you both pulled away from each other. In that split second, you saw how his eyes traveled down your body, checking you out. He gave another grin of approval, but didn’t outwardly say why he smiled. But you knew. Oh, you knew.

Introducing you to his shadow, who you already knew the name of, you feigned ignorance.

“This is Jungkook, or JK, as we like to call him.” He pointed behind him, where Jungkook still stood, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else but this party. That’s something you two could agree on. Surprisingly, he gave you a small smile in greeting, nodding his head at you.

You gave a polite smile back. Glimpsing at his outfit, you saw a small, barely noticeable charm stick out from the black of his leather jacket, what with it being the same color. It was a symbol you only ever saw within the confines of your dorm room, where you played your music loud in your ears so as not to wake your neighbors. So it made no sense why you saw it displayed on Jungkook’s beloved jacket of all places. But, you figured you could use it as a talking point to get the guy to open up to you more.

Stepping to the side of Namjoon, you leaned forward towards Jungkook, making him eye you warily, wondering what the heck you were doing. Namjoon turned his body sideways to watch you himself, curious. And Taehyung just took the divine opportunity to stare at your ass cheeks that were now out in view for him to admire due to you bending over the perfect amount to stare at Jungkook. Much to his disdain, Namjoon noticed him doing so and smacked the pervert upside the back of his head, glaring at him. Taehyung just gave a shrug of his shoulders and gestured to your ass in a silent way of saying ‘well what do you expect, it’s right there’.

Squinting at the upside down font of the artist in question, you had to make sure you were correct before continuing with your plan. You were right. Straightening yourself back up you gave Jungkook a smile.

“I like your charm.” You stated casually. His eyes narrowed in confusion for a second, before widening in disbelief. No one has ever acknowledged the charm on his jacket before. He was starting to like you now, even though you were acting weird just a second ago. He’d look past it though for a fellow Ariana Grande fan.

The comment made Namjoon smile knowingly, and Taehyung scoff from behind his red solo cup he was currently drinking out of. Swirling the cup of whiskey in his hand, he decided to finally join in on the conversation.

“Don’t tell me you’re also a fan of hers? That’s sorely disappointing.” He sighed in disdain, looking at you with half lidded eyes, clearly feeling the effects of his choice of drink already. A lightweight, you thought in amusement. You expected a guy like him to handle his liquor better.

Jungkook was about to speak up in the singer’s defense, like the black knight he is. Much to everyone’s surprise, including his, it was your voice that spoke up before he could. Yeah, he definitely liked you now. Especially after the jab you sent at Taehyung that had him keeling over with laughter that was a rare sight to see. Namjoon joining him in the raucous laughter, gaining the attention of the rest of group members, making them start to walk over to your group.

“Now I get why they call you grandpa!” You snapped your fingers, proceeding to point at Taehyung with your pointer finger, widening your eyes in mock shock. “Cause you nag like one, grandpa.” You emphasized on his nickname, crossing your arms over your chest and popping your hip out to the side in a sassy pose.

You expected Taehyung to get upset and stomp off in hysterics. Not what he did next. Sauntering over to you, unphased, he leaned extremely close to your face. Getting dangerously near your slightly parted lips, he then pivoted towards the side of your ear at the last second. He sultry whispered in your ear something that had you letting out a quiet gasp only he could hear. Your arms tightened underneath your breasts, pushing them up subconsciously into his chest. The cocky bastard smirked knowingly at you.

“That’s not the only reason they call me grandpa, y/n. It’s also because with age, comes experience. And I have tons of experience I wouldn’t mind showing you, all you have to do is ask. I’d love the opportunity to slide your purple thong you’re wearing down those beautiful legs of yours.”

With a kiss on your cheek, he clinked his red solo cup with yours. Taking a swig of his drink, he walked off into the crowd of party goers.

“Sorry about Taehyung, y/n. He means well, just has a funny way of showing it.” Namjoon came to his friend’s defense, as he stared at your still turned back.

“That, and he’s just a cocky asshole.” Jungkook chimed in after him. That one, you could agree with. Just as you were about to turn and face the two, yet another unexpected guest made themselves known. And not the good kind.

Apparently, you pissed off the girl from earlier that was shoving her boobs into his arm. Having witnessed your interaction with him, she probably thought that Taehyung had a genuine interest in you, which, she would be sorely mistaken, you’re sure. She strutted up to you, attempting to look intimidating. Your eyebrows raising to your hairline, you went to ask her what her problem was when she suddenly threw her drink on you, successfully getting your entire top soaked through with what smelled like straight Vodka, unfortunately. What a waste.

“Stay away from my man, you slut.” She sneered at you with her average looking face, you’ll admit. Not even giving you time to reply back, she wandered off in the direction she saw Taehyung go before her little act of vengeance.

Some party goers stopped to watch the show, but most just ignored it completely. They’re probably used to shit like this happening on a daily basis when it comes to these parties.

Without thinking, you grabbed the hem of your sweater vest and pulled it off and over your head, before turning around to face the boys again. With a look of disgust on your face, you flung the soaked material on the beach chair next to you as you spoke your thoughts out loud. You’d collect it later when it hopefully dried up.

“Who the hell just drinks straight up vodka?” All you got in return was silence, which made you confused, so you asked.

“What? What’s wrong?” You asked oblivious to your now see through attire. Forgetting you only wore a long sleeved white blouse underneath your sweater vest. The only thought on your mind being to get out of what clothes you could that made your nostrils flare in disgust, and stomach turn from the onslaught of strong alcohol.

Jungkook wordlessly shrugged off his prized leather jacket, and walked towards you. He shuffled the jacket over your shoulders, gesturing for you to put your arms through the holes, which you complied just as wordlessly. He then proceeded to zip up the jacket with his tattoo clad hand, once again taking a step back from you and giving you your space, but still close enough to hear him whisper his reasoning to you.

“Your shirt turned see through when she threw her drink on you, and you took your vest off, so–,” he awkwardly raised one tattooed hand and gestured to his jacket. “You needed it more than I did.”

When you say that your heart just about burst from the warmth of his heartwarming action–

Not thinking clearly, you threw your arms around the so called ‘bad boy’ and gave him a gentle, but firm hug in thanks. He returned the hug politely, awkwardly patting your back. You could tell he wasn’t used to affection from the opposite sex. It was endearing. Who said chivalry was dead? A voice cut through your your moment with JK. One you’ve been waiting to hear all night. The last Kim on your list, Kim Seokjin.

“Does our JK finally have a girlfriend?” He asked to the embracing duo playfully.

Mutually pulling away from the hug at the same time, Jungkook turned to the older male with a roll of his eyes, just flipping him off with his ring clad finger in the air.

You don’t know why, but as soon as you made eye contact with the eldest member, your body felt like it wanted to turn to mush. You felt hot, and it was a decently cool autumn night. You sucked your bottom lip between your teeth out of pure habit and bit down on it with little force. It’s just something you did when your anxiety started to go through the roof as a way to ground yourself again.

A pulsating feeling could be felt coming from your counter, and what felt like a bolt of lightning shot through your arm and straight to your heart, squeezing it painfully. Your counter being something you purposely haven’t looked at all day, in dread of seeing just how much the numbers are quickly changing as the day goes by. A shaky exhale made its way out of your mouth, and you suddenly felt lightheaded. Weird. Very weird.

Taking a small step forward in your heels towards Jin, your ankle decided it was the opportune moment for it to give out. Collectively, there was six pairs of hands out to catch your fall, which you were thankful for. And it was Jin’s that ultimately were connected to the arms that were currently holding the weight of your body up. Heavily leaning against the male, you breathily let out your worries.

“I think–I think something’s wrong?” Your statement came out more like a question when you were done, making all the male’s near you furrow their brows in worry at your sudden state.

“Is she okay?” Min Yoongi’s voice came from out of nowhere. Jung Hoseok’s chimed in voicing his concern as well. Jimin’s head popped up from behind Jin’s shoulder to look at your now dazed face.

Having already finished your drink of choice, you let it fall to the floor. So they couldn’t check to see if maybe someone spiked your drink. But Namjoon saw when you made your drink, and didn’t see anything suspicious happen. However, you made a mixed cocktail of various opened bottles that anyone could’ve slipped something into at some point during the party. Though, looking around, he didn’t see anyone else in the same state as you, so he was out of ideas. Then it hit him, like the genius he is.

Glancing down at his own invisible counter, seeing the numbers not changing much cause he still had a lot of time in finding his soulmate, it made him think of the different textbooks he read on the matter. All the symptoms you’re showing could very well occur due to a harrowing fact that your time was almost up, and your body was starting to shut down prematurely to your end time.

Namjoon cleared his throat loudly to gain the attention of the group of males that still hovered over you with worry on their faces. They looked to him instantly and watched as Namjoon subtly gestured to his wrist. All of their eyes now looking down at their own counters, except for Jin, whose arms were still occupied with holding your body upright. Even Taehyung, who came back to the group upon the whispers he heard inside of what was occurring outside with his friends. All of them shook their heads, silently letting Namjoon know that all of their counters were perfectly fine.

Now it was Jin who suddenly felt all hot and bothered as several pairs of eyes looked at him in wonder. It made him even more flustered, and equally as confused.

“Why are you all staring at me like that?” He asked nervously.

Surprisingly, it was the quiet one that spoke up first among the male’s. Yoongi.

“Jin, check your counter.” He remarked quietly so as not to gain the attention of party goers around him. Once again, he gave a look of confusion, and now frustration. Seriously? Of all things, they think it’s cause of the soulmate shit? Yeah, right. He scoffed inwardly. No way.

It was your pathetic sounding whimper that made Jin feel differently. He looked down at your now closed eyes and saw the visible sweat forming on your now pale face. His whole body reacting when Jungkook came forward to replace his arms with Jin’s in holding you up, stiffening before relaxing because it was just Jungkook, his brother. Except he opted for the ‘bride’ hold, with one arm secured underneath your legs, and the other behind your back. He grunted towards Jin in a ‘hurry the fuck up’ kind of way. You weren’t heavy by any means, no. And he wasn’t necessarily a weakling if the size of his biceps were any consolation. But he would rather not be the center of attention either, holding the now passed out girl in his arms. He didn’t want people to get the wrong idea.

Jin sighed anxiously and shoved the sleeve of the maroon sweater he was wearing up halfway to his elbow, letting him see his counter in full view. He involuntarily gasped in shock, making his friend’s around him stare at him with a look of equal shock. Cause–

“–no fucking way.” Taehyung stated bluntly. And loudly. Getting shushed by all six members and receiving a collective, scathing, ‘shut the fuck up, you idiot!’ said in various different ways. For once, he listened.

“You good man? What’s wrong?” Namjoon asked his best friend calmly, but his face showed his true emotions to the matter at hand. If this was real? They needed to help you as soon as possible. Jin needed to help you as soon as possible.

———————————————————————

Not giving Jin the time to stutter out a response, already knowing the answer to his own question by the look Jin still wore plainly on his face, Namjoon realized they should probably take this elsewhere, and away from the million pairs of eyes that surrounded them. Nodding his head towards the direction of the house, they all followed him in a single file line inside. Walking up the stairs that were always off limits to guests, he figured this would be the best bet for some privacy with what little amount of time they apparently had. Jungkook making sure to tuck your head further into the crook of his neck to avoid you hitting your head on the wall as he walked up the stairs carefully with you in his arms.

Opening the door to his master bedroom that could easily fit ten more people, he knew it was more then enough room for all of them to stand or sit comfortably while they figure this out. Filing into the room, Jungkook hastily, but carefully, made his way to the california king sized bed located in the middle of the room and set your passed out body on top of the covers with your head landing on the fluffy pillows. Heaving out a sigh of relief as he felt the weight lift off his shoulders, he stood back up straight and stretched. He needed to start working out more, he vowed internally.

Jin cautiously sat on the bed near your feet, making the bed dip underneath his weight, and your body shift towards him unconsciously. This felt wrong, how his body seemed to naturally want to gravitate towards yours. He physically had to restrain himself from brushing the hair that fell in front of your seemingly peaceful sleeping face with his fingers. He decided it would be best to just sit on his hands to rid himself of the temptation.

Then he spoke the answer everyone was waiting for with bated breath. They stood in a semi circle around him, Namjoon laid a comforting hand on his shoulder in support. Jin gave him a small smile in response to his kind gesture.

“I think she’s my soulmate, my time is almost–,” Jin winced with a sudden pain in his chest, his hand coming up to clutch the area around his heart. His breaths came out in shallow pants. Right, he thought bitterly, you’re not supposed to talk with anyone about it until after you were officially connected to your soulmate. Stupid universal rules.

All the males threw up their hands towards their hyung in worry. Namjoon now opting to kneel next to the inwardly wounded figure in front of him.

“Jin, you know what you need to do, so do it.” He demanded, not going to take no for an answer. Now was not the time for the male to suddenly become shy around women.

“I can’t do it while she’s asleep!” He gestured wildly towards your form on the bed.

“Then wake her up.” Taehyung bluntly said, as if it were that easy. Well, maybe it was just that simple for the grandpa of the group. His antics with the opposite sex clearly impacting his way towards women, making him too abrasive to the situation.

They all collectively deadpanned at Taehyung.

You shifted your body on the bed closer towards Taehyung, your own body wanting to be closer to his. His hands twitched underneath his bottom half of their own accord, making him groan in frustration.

“Jungkook, you wake her up.” Jin announced suddenly, making the maknae’s eyes widen in fear.

“Wh–what?!” He sputtered nervously, eyes meeting his fellow group mates, wanting them to vehemently deny the suggestion for him as if he wasn’t the only one who thought it was a ridiculous thought.

“I literally just met her 20 minutes ago, like the rest of you! Why does it have to be me?!” He pointed to himself to further make his point.

“I was the one that invited her–,” Namjoon meekly tried to input into the conversation, and failed, being ignored.

“You did give her your jacket.” Jimin stated factually, not helping Jungkook in the slightest.

“It’s called being a gentleman! I was just being nice!” He yelled in sheer frustration. Just about ready to pull his hair out of his own head.

“Jesus, can you all just shut up for five seconds!” A voice could be heard coming from the bed, and it wasn’t Jin’s.

Now in a sit up position on the bed, you stared at the men surrounding you with a calm look. In doing so, it halted their previous conversation and at the same time, resolved it. Jungkook plopped into the desk chair next to him, head laying against the back of the chair in relief. Thank the fucking lord, he thought inwardly.

The next words that came out of your mouth had them all flabbergasted, especially the one closest to you, staring at you as if you were some alien.

“Jin, just kiss me for fuck’s sake so we can get this over with. Cause if it’s not you, I desperately need to figure out who it is. And you two,” you pointed aggressively at Namjoon and Taehyung, “are next if it isn’t him.” You said so matter of fact that all three men nearly fell over in sheer denial and nerves for potentially getting to kiss you.

It was Jungkook who snorted in laughter at their faces from his sitting position on the wheelie chair. Karma was a bitch.

“If you don’t want to kiss her first, I wouldn’t mind.” Taehyung raised his hand, cheekily volunteering on first dibs. Jin’s eye twitched in a random surge of anger that came over him at the mere idea of you two kissing. Fuck that.

“I’ll do it.” He said more confidently than he felt.

Namjoon stood back up straight from his kneeling position, backing away from the two figures who were about to share their first kiss, on his bed, no less. He cringed at the situation, but knew there was no other choice.

“Let’s uh,” Namjoon awkwardly cleared his throat. “Let’s give them a bit of privacy and turn around, yeah?” He looked at each member next to him who nodded in agreement. Even Jungkook wheeled around in his sitting position on the chair to give you both the needed time to yourselves.

Nodding your head in determination, eyes glancing down at the counter on your wrist, seeing the numbers plummet drastically, made your body vibrate in anticipation of what’s to come. It was now or never.

Shifting positions on the bed, Jin turned his body to now face you properly, before leaning forward on his now free hands that laid flat on the bed on either side of your closed legs supporting his weight. You leaned in, in kind, using your own hands as leverage to propel your body forward in your sitting position.

“Are you sure?” He quietly whispered, a millisecond away from touching your lips with his, searching your eyes for any hint of hesitation or doubt.

“Positive.” You whispered back confidently. Looking directly into his eyes.

Being all he needed to hear to continue, he proceeded to kiss you, eyes closing. Yours soon doing the same. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t sloppy. It didn’t even feel like it was a first kiss, if you’re being honest. Lips molding in a way that felt like you’ve done it together countless times in the past. And maybe you did in your past lives. Who knew?

A burst of air emitted from your bodies in a tidal wave towards the unsuspecting victims that still had their backs turned. Said victims stumbling forward on their feet, Jungkook’s chair even wheeling forward on its own from the sheer force of impact it held before coming to an abrupt stop as the gust died down.

All of them slowly looking back toward you both at the same time, had them all witness a once bright glow that formed around the outline of your figures, now fade into nothing as you both pulled apart from each other.

Eyes opening at the same time, you stared at each other with the same knowing grin. Both of you not even bothering to look at your now bare wrists, knowing it no longer carries the same weight it once did prior to your shared kiss. Though yours held more than excitement for finding your soulmate in time. It also held a secret you were about to share not only with him, but with the six males that also resided in the room you were in.

And thus you proceeded to enlighten OT7 with the mission you received, giving Jin another kiss once telling him that you’ll both be going to work at the same company at the end of the year when you graduated. All six boys erupting with cheers, high fives, and fist bumps for your soulmate’s bright future.

And then you donned a cheeky, albeit slightly bashful grin and look on your face as you recounted the ways you met a few of the members. Even telling Namjoon how you baited him with ‘The Great Gatsby’ on purpose, making him chuckle at his own obliviousness to the situation, giving you a fist bump of your own as kudos for your brilliant plan.

Then you told your reasoning behind your outfit, shamefully admitting you only wore it to gain the attention of Taehyung. Which had said male grinning in utter delight, him clapping theatrically for your outfit, giving you two thumbs up. And causing Jin to scowl at him from his position underneath you. You now choosing to sit on his lap while his arms wrapped around your torso possessively. Hand flying up in the air to give Taehyung the middle finger.

Angling your body to Jungkook you once again thanked him for being such a gentleman and lending you his beloved jacket in your time of need. You going to take said jacket off to give back to him, before he vehemently denied you, telling you that your shirt is probably still see through and you should keep it on until you find something else to wear. Jin smiled warmly in response to Jungkook and his actions towards you, before letting go of your torso to shrug his maroon sweater he was wearing off, holding it up in front of you in a silent way of telling you to wear it instead.

You inwardly cringed at your display of a lovesick schoolgirl when he handed you his sweater, blushing profusely at the sentiment. Unzipping Jungkook’s jacket, you shrugged it off carefully, and extended your hand out to Jungkook who took it with a fondness only he would have for the jacket, before grinning softly at you in thanks.

Tugging the sweater on you that was two sizes too big for you, you could’ve worn it as a dress. The sleeves dangling off your arms, you clutched the ends with your fingers and brought them up to your nose, shamelessly inhaling the scent that was wholly Jin. He stared at you with a look of love that didn’t go unnoticed to anyone but you. Before he thought back to something you said during your long rant of your mission that had his eyes narrowing at you playfully.

“Wait. So you’re telling me that you have a better relationship with the Dean than me?!” He asked flabbergasted, causing you to scowl at the insinuation that you shouldn’t be the one with the better relationship.

“Excuse me?! And you should?” You narrowed your eyes back at him, challenging him.

The six males in the room looked at each other with the same ‘let’s get out of here’ face, and quietly walked out of the room the same way they came in, in single file. Jungkook being the last one out, he carefully shut the door behind him cutting off your voices successfully and followed his fellow hyung’s down the hallway and back to the party that was still raging on.

Smoothing out the jacket he now donned again, he stopped midway down the stairs. All of a sudden a certain song came blaring through the speakers, one he knew all too well. Taehyung whined in frustration, the others snickering in amusement as Jungkook loudly belted out the lyrics to his musical crush and muse, Ariana Grande.

“All that you got, skin to skin, oh my God. Don't you stop, boy–“

[army-of-mai-lovers]

in which I get progressively angrier at the various tropes of atla fandom misogyny

tbh I think it would serve all of us to have a larger conversation about the specific ways misogyny manifests in this fandom, because I’ve seen a lot of people who characterize themselves as feminists, many of whom are women themselves, discuss the female characters of atla/lok in misogynistic ways, and people don’t talk about it enough. 

disclaimer before I start: I’m not a woman, I’m an afab nonbinary person who is semi-closeted and thus often read as a woman. I’m speaking to things that I’ve seen that have made me uncomfy, but if any women (esp women existing along other axes of oppression, e.g. trans women, women of color, disabled women, etc) want to add onto this post, please do!

“This female character is a total badass but I’m not even a little bit interested in exploring her as a human being.” 

I’ve seen a lot of people say of various female characters in atla/lok, “I love her! She’s such a badass!” now, this statement on its own isn’t misogynistic, but it represents a pretty pervasive form of misogyny that I’ve seen leveled in large part toward the canon female love interests of one or both of the members of a popular gay ship (*cough* zukka *cough*) I’m going to use Suki as an example of this because I see it with her most often, but it can honestly be applied to nearly every female character in atla/lok. Basically, people will say that they stan Suki, but when it comes time to engage with her as an actual character, they refuse to do it. I’ve seen meta after meta about Zuko’s redemption arc, but I so rarely see people engage with Suki on any level beyond “look at this cool fight scene!” and yeah, I love a cool Suki fight scene as much as anybody else, but I’m also interested in meta and headcanons and fics about who she is as a person, when she isn’t an accessory to Sokka’s development or doing something cool. of course, the material for this kind of engagement with Suki is scant considering she doesn’t have a canon backstory (yet) (don’t let me down Faith Erin Hicks counting on you girl) but with the way I’ve seen people in this fandom expand upon canon to flesh out male characters, I know y’all have it in you to do more with Suki, and with all the female characters, than you currently do. frankly, the most engagement I’ve seen with Suki in mainstream fandom is justifying either zukki (which again, is characterizing her in relation to male characters, one of whom she barely interacts with in canon) or one of the Suki wlw pairings. which brings me to--

“I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!” 

now, I will admit, two of my favorite atla ships are yueki and mailee, and so I totally understand being interested in these characters’ dynamics, even if, as is the case with yueki, they’ve never interacted canonically. however, it becomes a problem for me when these ships are always in the background of a zukka fic. at some point, it becomes obvious that you like this ship because it gets either Zuko or Sokka’s female love interests out of the way, not because you actually think the characters would mesh well together. It’s bad form to dislike a female character because she gets in the way of your gay ship, so instead, you find another girl to pair her off with and call it a day. to be clear, I’m not saying that everybody who ships either mailee or yueki (or tysuki or maisuki or yumai or whatever other wlw rarepair involving Zuko or Sokka’s canon love interests) is nefariously trying to sideline a female character while acting publicly as if she’s is one of their faves--far from it--but it is noteworthy to me how difficult it is to find content that centers wlw ships, while it’s incredibly easy to find content that centers zukka in which mailee and/or yueki plays a background role. 

also, notice how little traction wlw Katara ships gain in this fandom. when’s the last time you saw yuetara on your dash? there’s no reason for wlw Katara ships to gain traction in a fandom that is so focused on Zuko and Sokka getting together, bc she doesn’t present an immediate obstacle to that goal (at least, not an obstacle that can be overcome by pairing her up with a woman). if you are primarily interested in Zuko and Sokka’s relationship, and your queer readings of other female characters are motivated by a desire to get them out of the way for zukka, then Katara’s canon m/f relationship isn’t a threat to you, and thus, there’s no reason to read her as potentially queer. Or even, really, to think about her at all. 

“Katara’s here but she’s not actually going to do anything, because deep down, I’m not interested in her as a person.” 

the show has an enormous amount of textual evidence to support the claim that Sokka and Katara are integral parts of each other’s lives. so, she typically makes some kind of appearance in zukka content. sometimes, her presence in the story is as an actual character with layers and nuance, someone whom Sokka cares about and who cares about Sokka in return, but also has her own life and goals outside of her brother (or other male characters, for that matter.) sometimes, however, she’s just there because halfway through writing the author remembered that Sokka actually has a sister who’s a huge part of the show they’re writing fanfiction for, and then they proceed to show her having a meetcute with Aang or helping Sokka through an emotional problem, without expressing wants or desires outside of those characters. I’m honestly really surprised that I haven’t seen more people calling out the fact that so much of Katara’s personality in fanon revolves around her connections to men? she’s Aang’s girlfriend, she’s Sokka’s sister, she’s Zuko’s bestie. never mind that in canon she spends an enormous amount of time fighting against (anachronistic, Westernized) sexism to establish herself as a person in her own right, outside of these connections. and that in canon she has such interesting complex relationships with other female characters (e.g. Toph, Kanna, Hama, Korra if you want to write lok content) or that there are a plethora of characters with whom she could have interesting relationships with in fanon (Mai, Suki, Ty Lee, Yue, Smellerbee, and if you want to write lok content, Kya II, Lin, Asami, Senna, etc). to me, the lack of fandom material exploring Katara’s relationships with other women or with herself speak to a profound indifference to Katara as a character. I’m not saying you have to like Katara or include her in everything you write, but I am asking you to consider why you don’t find her interesting outside of her relationships with men.

“I hate Katara because she talks about her mother dying too often.” 

this is something I’ve seen addressed by people far more qualified than I to address it, but I want to mention it here in part because when I asked people which fandom tropes they wanted me to talk about, this came up often, but also because I find it really disgusting that this is a thing that needs to be addressed at all. Y’all see a little girl who watched her mother be killed by the forces of an imperialist nation and say that she talks about it too much??? That is a formational, foundational event in a child’s life. Of course she’s going to talk about it. I’ve seen people say that she doesn’t talk about it that often, or that she only talks about it to connect with other victims of fn imperialism e.g. Jet and Haru, but frankly, she could speak about it every episode for no plot-significant reason whatsoever and I would still be angry to see people say she talks about it too much. And before you even bring up the Sokka comparison, people deal with grief in different ways. Sokka  repressed a lot of his grief/channeled it into being the “man” of his village because he knew that they would come for Katara next if he gave them the opportunity. he probably would talk about his mother more if a) he didn’t feel massive guilt at not being able to remember what she looked like, and b) he was allowed to be a child processing the loss of his mother instead of having to become a tiny adult when Hakoda had to leave to help fight the fn. And this gets into an intersection with fandom racism, in that white fans (esp white American fans) are incapable of relating to the structural trauma that both Sokka and Katara experience and thus can’t see the ways in which structural trauma colors every single aspect of both of their characters, leading them to flatten nuance and to have some really bad takes. And you know what, speaking of bad fandom takes--   

“Shitting on Mai because she gets in the way of my favorite Zuko ship is actually totally okay because she’s ~abusive~” 

y’all WHAT. 

ok listen, I get not liking maiko. I didn’t like it when I first got into fandom, and later I realized that while bryke cannot write romance to save their lives, fans who like maiko sure can, so I changed my tune. but if you still don’t like it, that’s fine. no skin off my back. 

what IS skin off my back is taking instances in which Mai had justified anger toward Zuko, and turning it into “Mai abused Zuko.” do you not realize how ridiculous you sound? this is another thing where I get so angry about it that I don’t know how useful my analysis is actually going to be, but I’ll do my best. numerous people have noted how analysis of Mai and Zuko’s breakup in “The Beach” or Mai being justifiably angry with him at Boiling Rock or her asking for FUCKING FRUIT in “Nightmares and Daydreams” that says that all of these events were her trying to gain control over him is....ahhh...lacking in reading comprehension, but I’d like to go a step further and talk about why y’all are so intent on taking down a girl who doesn’t show emotion in normative ways. obviously, there’s a “Zuko can do no wrong” aspect to Mai criticism (which is super weird considering how his whole arc is about how he can do lots of wrong and he has to atone for the wrong that he’s done--but that’s a separate post.) But I also see slandering Mai for not expressing her emotions normatively and not putting up with Zuko’s shit and slandering Katara for “talking about her mother too often” as two sides of the same coin. In both cases, a female character expresses emotions that make you, the viewer, uncomfortable, and so instead of attempting to understand where those emotions may have come from and why they might be manifesting the way they are, y’all just throw the whole character away. this is another instance of people in the fandom being fundamentally disinterested in engaging with the female characters of atla in a real way, except instead of shallowly “stanning” Mai, y’all hate her. so we get to this point where female characters are flattened into one of two things: perfect queens who can do no wrong, or bitches. and that’s not who they are. that’s not who anyone is. but while we as a fandom are pretty good at understanding b1 Zuko’s actions as layered and multifaceted even though he’s essentially an asshole then, few are willing to lend the same grace to any female character, least of all Mai. 

and what’s funny is sometimes this trope will intersect with “I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!”, so you’ll have someone actively calling Mai toxic/problematic/abusive, and at the same time ship her with Ty Lee? make it make sense! but then again, maybe that’s happening because y’all are fundamentally disinterested in Ty Lee as a character too. 

“I love Ty Lee so much that I’m going to treat her like an infantilized hypersexual airhead!” 

there are so many things happening in y’alls characterization of Ty Lee that I struggled to synthesize it into one quippy section header. on one hand, you have the hypersexualization, and on the other hand, you have the infantilization, which just makes the hypersexualization that much worse. 

(of course, sexualizing or hypersexualizing ANY atla character is really not the move, considering that these are child characters in a children’s show, but then again, that’s a separate post.) 

now, I understand how, from a very, very surface reading of the text, you could come to the conclusion that Ty Lee is an uncomplicated bimbo. if you grew up on Western media the way I did, you’ll know that Ty Lee has a lot of the character traits we associate with bimbos: the form-fitting pink crop top, the general conventional attractiveness, the ditzy dialogue. but if you think about it for more than three seconds, you’ll understand that Ty Lee has spent her whole life walking a tightrope, trying to please Azula and the rest of the royal family while also staying true to herself. Ty Lee and Azula’s relationship is a really complex and interesting topic that I don’t really have time to explore at the moment given how long this post is, but I’d argue that Ty Lee’s constant, vocal  adulation is at least partially a product of learning to survive at court at an early age. Like Mai, she has been forced to regulate her emotions as a member of fn nobility, but unlike Mai, she also has six sisters who look exactly like her, so she has a motivation to be more peppy and more affectionate to stand out. 

fandom does not do the work to understand Ty Lee. as is a theme with this post, fandom is actively disinterested in investigating female characters beyond a very surface level reading of them. Thus, fandom takes Ty Lee’s surface level qualities--her love of the color pink, her revealing standard outfit, and the fact that once she found a boy attractive and also once a lot of boys found her attractive--and they stretch this into “Ty Lee is basically Karen Smith from Mean Girls.” thus, Ty Lee is painted as a bimbo, or more specifically, as not smart, uncritically adoring of Azula (did y’all forget all the non-zukka bits of Boiling Rock?), and attractive to the point of hypersexualization. I saw somebody make a post that was like “I wish mailee was more popular but I’m also glad it isn’t because otherwise people would write it as Mai having to put up with her dumb gf” and honestly I have to agree!! this is one instance in which I’m glad that fandom doesn’t discuss one of my favorite characters that often because I hate the fanon interpretation of Ty Lee, I think it’s rooted in misogyny (particularly misogyny against East Asian women, which often takes the form of fetishizing them and viewing them only through a Western white male gaze)  

(side note: here at army-of-mai-lovers, we stan bimbos. bimbos are fucking awesome. I personally don’t read Ty Lee as a bimbo, but if that’s you, that’s fucking awesome. keep doing what you’re doing, queen <3 or king or monarch, it’s 2021, anyone can be a bimbo, bitches <3)

“Toph can and will destroy everyone here with her bare hands because she’s a meathead who likes to murder people and that’s it!”  

Toph is, and always has been, one of my favorite ATLA characters. My very first fic in fandom was about her, and she appears prominently in a lot of my other work as well. One thing that I am always struck by with Toph is how big a heart she has. She’s independent, yes, snarky, yes, but she cares about people--even the family that forced her to make herself smaller because they didn’t believe that their blind daughter could be powerful and strong. Her storyline is powerful and emotionally resonant, her bending is cool precisely because it’s based in a “wait and listen” approach instead of just smashing things indiscriminately, she’s great disabled rep, and overall one of the best characters in the show. 

And in fandom, she gets flattened into “snarky murder child.” 

So where does this come from? Well, as we all know, Toph was originally conceived of as a male character, and retained a lot of androgyny (or as the kids call it, Gender) when she was rewritten as a female character. There are a lot of cultural ideas about androgynous/butch women being violent, and people in fandom seem to connect that larger cultural narrative with some of Toph’s more violent moments in the show to create the meathead murder child trope, erasing her canon emotionality, softness, heart, and femininity in the process. 

This is not to say that you shouldn’t write or characterize Toph as being violent or snarky at all ever, because yeah, Toph definitely did do Earth Rumbles a lot before joining the gaang, and yeah, Toph is definitely a sarcastic person who makes fun of her friends a lot. What I am saying is that people take these traits, sans the emotional logic, marry them to their conception of androgynous/butch women as violent/unemotional/uncaring, and thus create a caricature of Toph that is not at all up to snuff. When I see Toph as a side character in a fic (because yeah, Toph never gets to be a main character, because why would a fandom obsessed with one male character in particular ever make Toph a protagonist in her own right?) she’s making fun of people, killing people, pranking people, etc, etc. She’s never talking to people about her emotions, or palling around with her found family, or showing that she cares about her friends. Everything about her relationship with her parents, her disability, her relationship to Gender, and her love of her friends is shoved aside to focus on a version of Toph that is mean and uncaring because people have gotten it into their heads that androgynous/butch women are mean and uncaring. 

again, we see a female character who does not emote normatively or in a way that makes you, the viewer, comfortable, and so you warp her character until she’s completely unrecognizable and flat. and for what? 

Azula

no, I didn’t come up with a snappy name for this section, mainly because fanon interpretations of Azula and my own feelings toward the character are...complicated. I know there were some people who wanted me to write about Azula and the intersection of misogyny and ableism in fanon interpretations of her character, but I don’t think I can deliver on that because I personally am in a period of transition with how I see Azula. that is to say, while I still like her and believe that she can be redeemed, there is a lot of merit to disliking her. the whole point of this post is that the female characters of ATLA are complex people whom the fandom flattens into stereotypes that don’t hold up to scrutiny, or dislike for reasons that don’t make sense. Azula, however, is a different case. the rise of Azula defenders and Azula stans has led to this sentiment that Azula is a 14 y/o abuse victim who shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions. it seems to me that people are reacting to a long, horrible legacy of male ATLA fans armchair diagnosing Azula with various personality disorders (and suggesting that people with those personality disorders are inherently monstrous and unlovable which ahhhh....yikes) and then saying that those personality disorders make her unlovable, which is quite obviously bad. and hey, I get loving a character that everyone else hates and maybe getting so swept up in that love that you forget that your fave is complicated and has made some unsavory choices. it sucks that fanon takes these well-written, complex villains/antiheroes and turns them into monsters with no critical thought whatsoever. but the attitude among Azula stans that her redemption shouldn’t be hard, that her being a child excuses all of the bad things that she’s done, that she is owed redemption....all of that rubs me the wrong way. I might make another post about this in the future that discusses this in more depth, but as it stands now: while I understand that there is a legacy of misogynistic, ableist, unnuanced takes on Azula, the backlash to that does not take into account the people she hurt or the fact that in ATLA she does not make the choice to pursue redemption. and yes, Zuko had help in making that choice that Azula didn’t, and yes, Azula is a victim of abuse, but in a show about children who have gone through untold horrors and still work to better the lives of the people around them, that is not enough for me to uncritically stan her. 

Conclusion    

misogyny in this fandom runs rampant. while there are some tropes of fandom misogyny that are well-documented and have been debunked numerous times, there are other, subtler forms of misogyny that as far as I know have gone completely unchecked. 

what I find so interesting about misogyny in atla fandom is that it’s clear that it’s perpetrated by people who are aware of fandom misogyny who are actively trying not to be misogynistic. when I first joined atla fandom last summer, memes about how zukka fandom was better than every other fandom because they didn’t hate the female characters who got in the way of their gay ship were extremely prevalent, and there was this sense that *this* fandom was going to model respectful, fun, feminist online fandom. not all of the topes I’ve outlined are exclusive to or even largely utilized in zukka fandom, but a lot of them are. I’ve been in and out of fandom since I was eleven years old, and most of the fandom spaces I’ve been in have been majority-female, and all of them have been incredibly misogynistic. and I always want to know why. why, in these communities created in large part by women, in large part for women, does misogyny run wild? what I realize now is that there’s never going to be a one-size fits all answer to that question. what’s true for 1D fandom on Wattpad in 2012 is absolutely not true for atla fandom on tumblr in 2021. the answers that I’ve cobbled together for previous fandoms don’t work here. 

so, why is atla fandom like this? why did the dream of a feminist fandom almost entirely focused on the romantic relationship between two male characters fall apart? honestly, I think the notion that zukka fandom ever was this way was horrifically ignorant to begin with. from my very first moment in the fandom, I was seeing racism, widespread sexualization of minors, and yes, misogyny. these aspects of the fandom weren’t talked about as much as the crocverse or other, much more fun aspects. further, atla (specifically zukka) fandom misogyny often doesn’t look like the fandom misogyny we’ve become familiar with from like, Sherlock fandom or what have you. for the most part, people don’t actively hate Suki, they just “stan” without actually caring about her. they hate Mai because they believe in treating male victims of abuse equally. they’re not characterizing Toph poorly, they’re writing her as a “strong woman.” in short, people are misogynistic, and then invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of feminist theory to shield themselves from accusations of misogyny. it’s not unlike the way some people will invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of critical race theory to shield themselves from accusations of racism, or how they’ll talk about “freedom of speech” and “the suppression of women’s sexuality” to justify sexualizing minors. the performance of feminism and antiracism is what’s important, not the actual practice. 

if you’ve made it this far, first off, hi, thanks so much for reading, I know this was a lot. second, I would seriously encourage you to be aware of these fandom tropes and to call them out when you see them. elevate the voices of fans who do the work of bringing the female characters of atla to life. invest in the wlw ships in this fandom. drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic (please, drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic). read some yuetara. let’s all be honest about where we are now, and try to do better in the future. I believe in us. 

[ryoskuna]

⭑ promised eternity | hades!sukuna x persephone!reader au headcanons (PT 1).

A/N:��... yo... i would like to say whoever threatened to send me toe pics, a-plus, bc you made me release this into the wild. * insert megumi meme face here * but this is just HEADCANONS for a hades!sukuna and persephone!reader-esque universe, and because y’all are as thirsty as I am, it includes some SFW and NSFW headcanons. grab your water bottles, and I apologize for my subconscious now. (cause it’s always on auto-pilot and giving me wild af ideas.) We shall all thirst... over OG form sukuna as well, because ,, well, big daddy, do i need to say more???  also this is some seriously fantasy like au , sort of, it takes place during sukuna’s original time as a curse, when gojo’s ancestor was after him, and hints wildly on that, and also will hit moments where the sorcerers are of course, hunting him. feel free to give me your thoughts and ask questions, because i love you all.  onward to the THIRST! ( also side note, promised eternity is the name of the potential series that may come from this. ) 

this is part one of the headcanons, and they’re all SFW.

being married to the king of curses is not easy. it’s awkward at first, and then later on, comforting at best. to have someone who believes in you, roots you on (even if he’s kind of mean about it at first), is better than having nothing. you’ve been looked at for so long as a “curse” for your untrained cursed energy, that to have someone who sees potential in your “god” given gifts instead of spite (or only useful in preventing a raid) is refreshing. and unsettling at first.

speaking of that, sukuna basically rescued you from your village. for the entirety of your life before him, your cursed energy has gone unchecked, untrained.  so it fluctuates with your emotions. it’s useful when you summon your wrath to defend your village or when your untrained reverse cursed techniques help the crops grow— but any other time, you are known as a curse. your emotions grow sad or you grow angry, and people die accidentally. ( hence your harbinger of death nickname. )  sukuna, during his many trips to your village for taxes and the occasional “recruitment” of healthy women and me, he has noticed you. and he has noticed your vast amount of cursed energy. it’s all but too easy for him to command the head of your village to hand you over — your parent(s) have no say. 

sukuna is generous enough to compensate them, and the head of village. it’s one of few kindnesses he’ll show, besides eventually to you. sukuna will never tell, not till much later on, that he noticed you in every visit he’s ever made. that you deserved better than the mockery and scorn of your people. he offers to burn them all for you, but your mercy says otherwise.

speaking of when he came to get you, he was 10 feet tall, dressed in a black montsuki kimono and hakama. all four of his arms are on display, and all four of his eyes are on you.

you, are in a shiromuku, complete with a wataboshi — you and your mother (or a village woman) made it, but it will not be the last of your “bridal” gowns as you travel through at least five villages before arriving at sukuna’s fortress-like palace. sukuna has prepared you both a uchikake style kimono (adorned with pinks and reds), a hikifurisode style kimono (black, but also adorned with whites and golds and reds)— lastly is the Tomesode, which you arrive to your new home in, adorned in pins and signs of your new status. it’s here you discover you are not meant to be a mistress, you are meant to be a wife. his wife. his first, and his only (or at least he’ll try to keep it that way).

sukuna does not make time for much. rumors of him are notorious of his over-indulgence, guided by only his pleasure and displeasure, which is slightly true.  but he makes time for you. you aren’t like the others he’s taken in his time, whether for his entertainment or to be in his service (you are not his toy as he has a habit of disposing of his playthings once they bore him); you’re his wife, but you are also this powerful being, who if trained, will become even more powerful. if you were a sorcerer, you’d rival him — but you are his equal. 

he tries to make you feel that way by shrinking down to your size. he drops his 10 ft height (even through he can grow larger), to 6′8 or 7ft (pick your preference). it helps him watch the way you fight him, and he’ll change his height to help you train to fight enemies of different sizes.

sukuna’s loyalty to you forms in the midst of gifts. he’s lavish and again, over-indulgent. before your lips ask for it, somehow you already have whatever you desire. however, he also realizes, the more that he’s around you that gifts don’t make you happy (as pleasing as they are). being in his company is what makes you happy. oh, and sukuna’s very careful to touch you. his strength knows no bounds, until you touch him. you have to be the one that touches him first. it’s a brush over the knuckles, your tiny hand wrapping around his big one.

the way you manipulate plants to your advantage as a defense will never not amaze him. the way you use vines to wrap around him to capture him is genius, and the sneak attack you give has gotten better. he’ll still tease you ask “is that the best you can do” with your hits to provoke more of your strength, and he’ll give praise at the end, in his own way. (more touches.)

sukuna’s untouched garden becomes yours as one of your wedding gifts. it’s yours, and all the servants know it. everyone on his grounds knows it is yours. 

you haven’t realized it since your arrival, but there are female servants that are your handmaidens, but for the harem that sukuna supposedly keeps — you have no idea where they are. it isn’t till one of your handmaidens inform you that he freed them with compensation. it’s not an uncommon practice for him, you’re told. he does not keep anyone against their will, and he never forced the girls he kept to do anything. for him, war and fighting made his blood rush just as much as sex could.

you and sukuna’s cursed energy manages to mingle to create a rare flower, one that turns from a gold color to red at the tips of the petals. he later tells you that beautiful things can come from destruction, and it makes you think of yourself, and who you’ve become with his guidance as you look into his eyes.

the first time you sleep in his bed with him, he lays still on one side of the bed (which is unusual for him) until you beckon him closer. he meets you halfway in the middle, where you lay your head on his chest and listen to the sound of him breathing. he’ll never admit it at first, but the comfort you give to him is startling, but welcomed. he wraps two arms around you, but it isn’t until you’re sleep that all four hold you gently against him, as if those four arms are shields to keep you safe.

He admires your strength and the various ways it shows itself. He has since your “wedding day”, when you shed no tears at being taken from your family. When you told him “do what you will”, but also in your rage he tapped into when you wrapped thorny vines around him when he provoked you by calling you “a murderous curse of a girl”.  He apologizes for this comment at some point, while you two lay together in the garden.

he presents to you a crown, shaped after the marks on his forehead (preserved through a picture painted on a fan). it is two horns towards the ceiling, made of black metal the color of obsidian. 

sukuna enjoys towering over you. and more importantly, once it no longer startles you, you enjoy the safety that his height reminds you of.

the form of trust sukuna has with you is seen by the servants when assigns advisors to you, as well as teaches you how to deal with trials when they come forth. you are his rose with thorns now, and you know how to use them.

someone speaks ill of sukuna? you are reminding them of their place: “speak ill of your king again with that tongue of yours and i’ll take it”

OKAY BADASS, and sukuna is all for it, just “that’s my s/o”

and lord, the pet names this man has for you: “my dove” “my love” “my moon” and you with: “my sun and stars” (thank u got)... he’s got a lot of pet names.

he likes to hold you on his side for some reason, whenever he can. honestly, he just likes you close.

basically, you’re tough as hell and powerful as hell and you grow into your added strength and he loves it.

can you say POWER COUPLE OF THE AGES