#y’all are just making shit up at this point!

[whyyousoloudfor]

TikTok Prank.

Warnings: fluff

Word count: ????

Peaking your head into the kitchen, you see Lewis’ back is turned causing you to smile mischievously. This is perfect for the little prank you have planned for him. It’s a trend on TikTok you’ve seen girls try on their boyfriends and you thought it was hilarious, so why not try it on yours. You step into the kitchen, unlocking your phone camera before propping it up against Lewis’ water bottle that’s study enough for the phone to not tip over. You make sure the camera is angled perfect then press the record button. Lewis’ is so focused chopping up vegetables for dinner and softly singing to the music playing in the background, he barely knows what’s going on behind him. You sneak up to him and snake your arms around him from behind, your cheek pressed again his t-shirt clad back.

“Hi baby.” You say sweetly, tightening your around him, snuggling into him. He slightly jumps, startled by your actions then relaxes in your touch putting down the knife to gently grab one your hands bring it up to his soft lips. “Hi, my sweet girl.” He responds back in the same tone. He places my hand back down and resumes chopping the veggies. You bite down on your lip holding back your laughter for what you’re about to say next. In a serious tone you say, “Honey, we have to talk. I have something to tell you.” You remove arms from around him and wipe your palms down the legs of your jeans before placing them in your back pockets. He drops the knife on the counter again turning around to give you his undivided attention, his facial expression laced with concern. Looking down at your feet, you avoid looking up at him because you know if you look, you will feel bad enough to back out of the plan. Lewis takes a few steps towards you, cupping your face in his hands making you look up at him. His eyes intensely watch you as his thumbs stroke your cheekbones.

“What’s wrong, baby? You pregnant or something? Somebody died?” He pauses for a moment. “If it’s about your leftovers you had in the fridge, it wasn’t me, it was Roscoe!” You both burst out into laughter. “Poor Roscoe, it be your own dad. But no, it’s none of that.” You say, getting back into character. “Then what is it?” He says, removing his hands to grab both of your hands, intertwining y’all fingers.

“I can’t pay the mortgage this month.”

You stare up look at him waiting for his reaction. His eyes are focused to the view behind you through the large glass slide door that leads into the backyard. He stays silent for a few second, his eyes cut back to yours narrowing with his head tilted slightly. “What did you just say?”

“Babe, I can’t pay the mortgage this month. I’m sorry.”

His head jerks back and drops your hands placing a tattooed hand over his heart. He’s offended. “Angel? You? Pay a mortgage? Be so fucking for real.” You try to hold back a giggle, watching him start to pace and forth around the kitchen. You walk up to him grabbing his hand to bring him back into the camera. “Lew, I’m sorry!” You exclaimed, wrapping your arms around his waist again resting your chin on his chest. “Sweetheart…” he starts. “Do you even know what a mortgage looks like? Do you even know what a damn bill looks like? Don’t embarrass me, baby.” The answer to that is No. You don’t know what any of that shit looks like and you don’t want to. Lewis wouldn’t allow it anyway. He continues his rambling, “I’d rather mop the fucking ocean than let you pay any bill around me, don’t piss me off, Y/F/N.” You reach up to cover his mouth with your hands before he goes any further. You couldn’t help but break character and burst into fits of laughter.

“It’s a prank, baby! Off TikTok.” You say hunched over as you continue to laugh and point at the phone recording on the counter. Lewis looks over at the phone. He brings a hand up to his chest letting out a sigh of relief, pulling you in to him by your waist. He plants several kisses on your forehead then mumbles, “Angel, toktik almost got you knocked out.” You smile, leaning into him as you feel his lips on your skin. The prank was a success.

“I know and it was worth it, your reaction was priceless.”

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave your thoughts, comments and feedback in my inbox. I’ll even take requests.

[qu0rky]

The day people on Tiktok learn about media literacy is the day i can finally rest, but alas they have not, guess what bullshit they’re on about today!

I saw an edit of the I.M.P. customer from Sinsmas, so far so good, then i open the comment section, and am suddenly reminded that people are stupid.

“She kinda had a point” no tf she didn’t😭😭 What are you on about, genuinely?? You can enjoy a villainous character who’s clearly a bad person without having to make up excuses for their shitty behavior.

The woman is violently homophobic, she made plenty of jabs about gay people in that short conversation, and claimed her husband “probably cheated” but it was so clear to me that she got pissy because he divorced her and then got with a man, and she already had preconceived notions about homosexuals.

I’m convinced they watched the episode with their eyes closed, because a person legit said “oh but she said nothing about hating gay people”. Maybe if you’re straight, it might’ve gone over your head, but she said, verbatim, “He doesn’t deserve to live this heinous lifestyle and poison my daughters with it” clearly referring to him being gay😭

Her husband did not cheat, she just hates gay people, but Stolas is still in that self-hatred mode which is just heightened by the lack of medication for god knows how long, which is why he took it to heart. And people on Tiktok love the narrative that they (as in Stolitz) cheated and somehow that’s the worst moral thing they’ve done in the show, must i remind you that they kill people??

For the last fucking time, whether or not what Stolas did counts as cheating, Stella did not give a shit. Had he done it with a (female) Goetia, she would’ve probably only cared about taking a slight hit on her reputation, but since not only did he do it with a man, but with an IMP at that, she felt embarrassed because she only cares about her social status. Easy as that. She said it herself.

They were never in love, Stolas was never straight, and never pretended to be. Do y’all not remember EP1S2 which legit establishes the fact that they were arranged?? And that Stella is an abusive piece of shit? So regardless, she gets no sympathy from me for being “cheated on”, since the cruelty started way before Stolas and Blitz met again.

No, they couldn’t have divorced earlier, Stolas only gained enough confidence to go through with it and finally stand up for himself AFTER and BECAUSE of Blitz. Also he most likely wanted Via to reach 18, but as we all saw he couldn’t sustain these lies anymore at the end of that episode. And while the divorce made him free, there’s still consequences, especially with the custody, so tell me a way he could’ve escaped this nightmare without being “morally incorrect”. Perhaps death. Would you have preferred that? After all, the only perfect victim is a dead one.

[sashisuse]

free geto from the shackles of jjk twt’s lack of reading comprehension 😣😣

[jedi-enthusiast]

I can’t believe that one simple question of- “hey should I donate to this nonprofit organization that brings happiness to me and others” -has brought such fucking vitriol out of some of y’all…

..,if your cause is driving you to tell people to kill themselves because they thought about donating $5 to a fanfiction website, maybe you should go outside, touch grass, and rethink your morals, yeah?

[chimerahyperfix]

Being frozen in time definitely does something to you. Physically it cages you. Mentally it throws you into the longest dream you could ever have. It's not comfortable-- far from it in fact-- but you've grown to look forwards to it, when you loose. It's better than being mashed to dark paste at least.

You're frozen right now, in fact. Waiting in silence for time to loop back. Stuck with your thoughts and a vauge feeling of a dream. The house is around you and you're moving through it. Empty rooms and endless hallways, curling and twisting in ways that make them feel alive despite the lack of any living thing that isn't you. No sad monsters, no frozen bodies, no dark stains. There doesn't seem to be an exit.

The dreams you have when frozen seem to correlate to how you're doing emotionally. Most of them have been lost to time, like most things in your life now. Dreams, wounds, emotional bonds; everything is turning back with you, and that’s started to do something to you, because now you can predict the actions of those around you with quite a bit of accuracy. You can recall little bits of things, but the further back you go is just static. There was a bunch of dumb things that you can’t piece back together anymore, there were times with those you love, there was endless rage flowing through your very being, and there was this. The desperation. The empty halls of the very House you’ve worked so hard to protect.

You want out.

You've kept count of how many times you've been frozen. How many times you've died. How many loops. 61 is the counter and it's far, far too many times to relive the same day over again. You grew tired of the monotony by the tenth go around. Twenty five felt like a stab wound. Forty, like you were being split in two. Big 6-0 felt like drowning. You don't feel real anymore.

But that's fine! You can still see the good in this, if you stretch your imagination like taffy, as far as it'll go. It's better to be just you, just one person, than everyone else! You can live with the weight of the country on your shoulders for a bit longer, if only to keep it off of Euphrasie's. You’re doing this for her! For everyone. You can do it for a bit longer. You just need to find the King’s weakness, or something. Make a more powerful potion, or scrap together the materials to make a second craft bomb, or, or something! You’ll find it soon enough. You’re smart! You can do this!

You have to.

You turn down the hallway. Find yourself on an entirely different floor. Just as much of a ghost town. Just ice and cold and tiredness, your breath forming clouds in the air. That’s fine. This is just a dream or something, anyway. You’ll wake back up at your desk any time, with the looming vials of all sorts of toxic stuff you keep drinking that you crabbing neglected to put away because you didn’t think time would crabbing loop, because realistically, WHY would you assume that would happen? Preposterous! Ignore the burning feeling in your throat and the smell of sugar and push on. Wait for it to start all over again.

Because it has to be you, doesn’t it? You wished for this, or something. You don’t remember. It was a long time ago. It has to be you, because only you have the power. It HAS to be you, because who else would it be? Euphie? She’s already got enough on her hands. Mirabelle? You’d rather die. It’s better you do this than the ones you love.

It has to be you.

it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be

It's sucks, having to be the one to do it. Your limit was a long time ago.

You can't do this forever.

[twistedappletree]

“bUt YoU cAnT dO tHaT bEcAuSe It iSnT cAnOn-“ very cool, can i interest you in considering that i don’t give a fuck?

[korkiekenobiconfirmed]

…can scott antis be serious for five fucking seconds?

[mabaris]

that stupid comicbook.com article and also fan response in general to the companion romance situation annoys me so bad for the sole reason that everyone acts like the only people in the game are the pc and playable companions

[melrosing]

anyway in an absolutely wild turn of events I think I’m free of my hideous job and like. substantially richer for it??? lmao 2023 you really owed me

[stargirlfeyre]

A lot of people seem to be confused on the whole “Nesta was trained in politics” so let me just say that she wasn’t actually trained to be a ruler or a politician. She was trained to be the wife of a ruler or politician. She was trained to seduce men of high status and she was taught to be cunning so she could do so. She was called a queen by her mother because she wanted Nesta to marry a prince. That’s it.

Saying Nesta has more political training than Feyre is just incorrect because no where in the books does it say that she was trained in politics or how to be a “good queen”. She was trained to seduce people of high status. Not to be a ruler. Whenever her training with her mother is mentioned, her dancing is always the key focus. It’s never once mentioned that her mother was sitting there and teaching her how to be a good queen and how to run a kingdom.

Seriously why do you think she’s never shown to have any of the qualities a ruler has beyond looking the part of a queen? Why do you think she’s never shown to know the inner workings of a kingdom? She was trained to present herself as this regal figure because that’s what would secure her a good marriage. She was not taught anything about actual ruling.

[tariah23]

Literally still annoyed a little bit from the other day because no way

[bakumai]

“but- but he has family problems at home!!” bitch so do i, do you see me bullying people?? no, tf

[wild-karrde]

A very specific subset of Crosshair girlies miss the point like it’s a fucking Olympic sport I swear to God.

[vacantgodling]

every day writeblr invents discourse about things that are not that deep

[peaceeandcoolestvibes]

.

[vanltys]

desc is the only world where people will take the nastiest, vilest, stinkiest characters and woobify them and i say not in my house