#xixi vents

[xixishrinks]

To be ugly is to be hated, to be beautiful is to be wanted; either way you are never left alone. The only escape is death.

[the-fucking-cannibal]

My headcanon designs for Kaeloo's childhood pond friends 🐸🪷🌊

Meet the amphibian gang: Kaeloo, Xixi, Trop-lisse, Jonquille, Ondine, Marcel and Carmin 🐸

Xixi: the cutest axolotl of the bunch, they're a real sweetheart with a soft spot for hugs and cuddles 🩷 Pretty much Kaeloo's childhood best friend and ex partner. Their relationship was loving and healthy, however the two both agreed to end things together the moment they had to move to different lands to pursue their own studies and careers, their friendship is still solid and tender to this day despite their different plans for the future 🌸

Trop-lisse: This salamander is a bit of a gangster but with a heart of gold 🩷 His name means "Too slick" and that really says a lot about him! Fast, smooth and flexible, this little fella from the neighborhood loves to hang out in slimy and dark places and often with vicious company, however he still cares very deeply for his friends and family 💗

Jonquille: Mama of the group 💕 Despite being a poisonous frog, Jonquille will still go out of her way just to spread all her endless love, affection and kindness ✨ She always stands up for others and does her best to show her support and admiration, she loves fashion and ADORES flowers!

Ondine: An emo Blue Dragon slug? More likely than you think! 💗 She's slow and slimy, doesn't like eye contact nor talking very much, however she'll still be the best listener and most fond shoulder to cry on in case you'd ever need a friend to vent to! Her love language is letting you borrow her books and novels and making playlists for you!

Marcel: What's there to say? He's here, he's queer and he's hot! A tree frog who used to be veeeeery popular in high school among all the other amphibians (and even Kaeloo used to have a crush on him back then!). He likes sports, a bit of healthy competition and a LOT of skin products to always keep his coat shiny and slick!

Carmin: This fiery little newt is one hell of a fighter! He always finds a way to somehow slip into a brawl or a fight, but everyone knows that in the end he's always coming out as the winner! His little body may be tiny, but his fangs are sharp and his intentions wild; better watch out!

[arockwholovebl]

I need to talk about it.

I don't understand why xixi doesnt have any problems. Like, we don't know nothing about him. We know that he are jian yi's best friend (and a bit more hehhe🤭), have one sister and have a mother. Just this! We never seen is father nor his problems. We neither seen nothing or almost nothing in he's point of view. Looks like he don't have any life when he aren't with jian. Even when he went to make a wish, he wish nothing for him, or when they talk about the future, when jian ask him where he will want live in the future he said "wherever you go, i will go" (okay that was really cute but it's also fucking problematic). He always are the "therapist friend " and never the friend who was helped. This makes me wonder if xixi has ever had a problem that he needs to vent to Jian.

((Anyway, srr for my horrible English, is not my mother tongue so if the text is shit, be patient and try to decipher what I wrote. I tried my best🥹))

[mopillow]

Nobody asked my opinion but...

The last chapters have been like one of those wooden rollercosters that you swear you want to ride but then when you are actually there sitting and putting on the security strap that let's be honest has seen better days you start to regret the choices you have made in life, most people look exited, others are feeling sick to their stomach and then there is me who has no idea wtf is happening but hoping for the best, so let me start with this

Mo is failing in life big time, he lost his job and I can assure you that he isn't doing great in school either, believe me when I tell you that if you have a page full of math problems that you can understand there is no way in hell you rip that page off no sir you believe yourself a genius and look for a page that you don't even know what half of those symbols mean and take your frustration in that one because either way you weren't going to do that shit, well same happened to MGS

He was "lucky" enough to vent on HT because he knows he can get away with murder with him, so he doesn't feel guilty immediately like with any other person, if this has been JY they would have talked Mo would have pushed JY, ZZX would have come to his rescue and JY makes MGS talk and then we all hug because we have a wholesome chapter, but this is not JY not ZZX, let's face it Mo wouldn't explode with Xixi he would have just left and ZZX wouldn't even ask why, unfortunately for us this was HT and yes he usually takes it, Mo could stab him and he would say "aww you missed all important organs, does that mean you love me?~" but this HT is not in his right state of mind, the usual HT doesn't think much of it we can even see him looking at his phone in case Mo sends a message but that changes as soon as JY mentioned he wishes to be this happy for his entire life

This HT believed Mo's words, there was no message, to be honest there's barely any even in regular days should he wait longer? Look for him tomorrow? Is there any point in doing any of this?? ... this time he took the wound and is hoping to die of it because his only happiness is about to vanish anyway so what's the point on waiting for a miracle??

He has tried his hardest to convey his feelings and Mo doesn't acknowledge them, he has tried to let him know that he can rely on him that he can share the burden but Mo keeps pushing him away and even in his darkest hours he didn't share his sorrow with the other 2, how do I know this??? Because they're not with him, Jian Yi would have stayed with him call MGS and make a big deal out of this, but HT keept this to himself because he only allows himself to be vulnerable arround Mo.

On the other side we have Mo thinking that HT is going to bother him the next day as usual and maybe he's gonna have to stare at him for like .02 seconds and HT is going to come his way no biggie until reality hits him, he saw his mom and his head started to cool down and thats when he remembers what he said

You see the phrase "what does your happiness has to do with me?!" Is a double edge sword, he said it because he usually repeats what people tells him on his insults like "you're in love your whole family is in love" or "you're the maid..." and so on so when he said that he actually didn't mean it he just did his usual thing and by saying this he hurt himself, there is no sigle happy moment in Mo's current life that doesn't involves HT

But this Mo doesn't know that HT is leaving in a few days, this Mo has no idea that his happiness is also about to go away, I don't know if you have been there economically speaking but for sure you or someone has done what MGS did to HT and there is never an easy way out of it neither of them are guilty free, both of then suck at talking about their problems and don't even think about reaching for help, the second Guan Shan knows about the transfer he's going to feel like crap and probably there is not going to be a HT to hug him and tell him everything is going to be alright not because he doesn't want to but because he told him to go away

[bentenharuki]

I gasped seeing there was an update 😳😳😳

I am just re-emerging from New Years’ party / vacation time and looked through social I met this latest update and WOW.

Tian went really full mob. He indeed has the charismatic presence of a warrior warlord. So unreadable until he acts, terrifying yet perfectly calm, then capable of destroying everything while casting an imposingly powerful aura.

I love how he points out he would have no problem rebuying such a car, marking the difference between the truly rich (himself) and somebody who acts as such, but then frenzies over a minor bump over a luxury car (one that arrogant guy bought but clearly something he can’t effortlessly maintain and replace like a real rich person could do, with truly disposable amounts of money).

I adored XiXi and Jian Yi’s arrival: they really are good friends caring for friends 💖

MoMo surely is impressed by Tian’s coolness: sure he’s scared because he could never in a million years repay those damages but I bet inside himself he’s screaming at how cold Tian is (and gorgeous: man is he some kind of specimen indeed!)

Amazing unexpected update 🤩

Tian finally could vent off all his repressed and bottled up rage after all the latest events happening. That guy better run. Calmly run VERY far away from him and his dearest MoMo.

Pure chef’s kiss from master Old Xian.

As usual.

Happy 2022!!!

[leatherbookmarking]

“madam, there is no evidence...” WILL SMITHS AT SIZHUI!!! xixi-bobo would be proud

“but that was all talk, most of the time. if he really could do that, he would’ve tyrannized the world already. madam mo wasn’t trying to avenge her son at all. she was only looking for someone to vent her anger on.” i took a pencil and immediately scribbled MDZS IN A NUTSHELL next to this one because. mmyeap. but also lmao @ “it was all talk, most of the time”. wwx ah wwx. it would have been better for you if that all talk remained actual all talk

“more specifically, it wasn’t thoughts of herself dying to accompany her son, but rather thoughts of having everyone in this world die, especially the ones currently in front of her.”

mxtx, winking at the reader:

[wylldmother]

vent

i just wanna complain about how irl ppl have never cared about me

any time i do try and express i was hurt about something ppl make it about them and my feeling is wrong, two ppl can both have feelings and both be valid i always validate others but wow i’ve never really been cared about lmao like esp when im in a triggered state and some narc will bring up their own petty ego shit even when im redacted ppl cant give a shit lmao and im sick of being stuck here alone im sick of ppl telling me to do something fun i dont drive i cant walk much i dont have much energy im using all my money for my dads bills im taking care of this house i get woken up early so my sleep isnt good i want fucking hugs i wanna see the ocean i ugh

and im sick of boring men trying to comfort me and jsut im sick of ppl comforting me i want someone to STAY and xixi stays yes so good just i want my feelings to matter i wanna be babeyed i wanna be put furst i want things to change i want ppl to fucking pay me for my fucking reiki and shit and stop wanting more more more for free using all my damn time im tired of ppl saying theyll do something and they dont im tired of trying to talk to ppl and they ignore me im tired of listening to others but not being listened to i want toj fucking matter and i wanna fucking feel better and make fucking money and uguguuguug iw ant my dad to step the ufuck up and pay me back snd this shit tjo be over

[dont-let-me-live]

Oh it's all cool i just wanted to correct you because they did already kiss but it wasn't explicit or a romantic scene since it was basically just jian yi venting and confessing, though zhan xixi did eventually like accept his confession by kissing jian yi on the forehead

I don't know if the non readhead couple from 19 days didn't kiss yet becaused it is a fine, fine sauce slowly simmering it's way to perfection or if it is because china hates gay ppl. if it is because china hates gays, then I will assume they are already a couple that's just way too flirty and embarrassed around each other but can't be explicitly portraid as such (except when they're acting like they've been married for 25 years and are sick of each other but still too in love)

[xixishrinks]

I have been forced to be masculine because of my size but I am determined to reclaim my femininity as I reclaim my body.

[unamourtropical]

Ce que j'aime à Rio

Jouer au foot avec Marcelo D2 les lundis soirs au stade de foot de Prazeres

Prendre le kombi pour monter à Santa Teresa, entendre dedans les dernier potins du quartier

Les motos-taxis, le vent dans les cheveux, le coeur qui bat dans les virages

Les couchers de soleil -por do sol- à Arpoador

Le funk brasileiro, pum tcha tcha pum pum tcha

La farofa et les frites d'aipim

Les pizzas du Simplesmente

Aller au Cultivar les dimanches de ressaca: les pão de queijo tous chauds qui fondent dans la bouche ...

Monter des escaliers dans la favela. Suer. Jurer. Se retourner et halluciner sur la vue

Les mamas brésiliennes qui t'appelle "amor"

Quand un taxi te dit "tchau linda"

L'existence même du psiiiuuuuutage pour appeler les gens

Les tongs

La cachaça= énergie  +sucre +citron +glaçons (et les soirées bohèmes qui vont avec)

Les concerts au Circo Voador

Le 485 et sa page facebook mieux que tinder (Spotted UFRJ)

"Vai descer motorista”, “valeu pilote"

Les après midi à la plage après les cours, l’agua de coco bien fraîche

Les affiches anti-furão au bondejão de la FAC de lettres

Les Black Santa, les Rebola, les Wobble

Les hangars de Lapa ou ça breakdance tous les soirs

Le théâtre des escaliers de Selaron

Le marché d'Urugaina, dit le Sahara, grand souk carioca

Les brésiliens et leur amour pour leur drapeau

Les matchs au Maracaña (petit Fla-Flu ?)

Les soirées cumbia qui finissent toujours n'importe comment

Oscar Niemeyer l’architecte sensuel à Niteroi

Croiser des gens que tu connais, partout, tout le temps;

Les ressacas collectives avec les copains

Claquer mes tongs pour enlever le sable

Qu'on me dise que je parle bien portugais, alors qu’on sait tous que c’est faux, mas tu comprends l’accent français il est bonitinho.

Parler portugais

Le vert de la forêt de Tijuca, le bleu de la mer, le rouge des favelas, le noir et blanc de Copacabana

Les palmiers géants du Jardim Botânico

Les soirées dans la piscine du Parque Lage

Faire ma touriste à Rio, aller au Pain de Sucre et au Christo Redentor

Aller danser la samba le lundi à la Pedra do Sal

Les lumières des favélas, la nuit, qui re dessinent le paysage

Vivre à Santa Teresa et avoir l'impression d'habiter dans un petit village au coeur de Rio

Retrouver les copains le midi à la FAU

Le bosque et ses bancs à la Gaudi

Les 5 jours completement fous du carnaval

Partir de Rio quelques jours, et puis dire "j'ai trop hâte de rentrer à la maison"

La mer qui brille depuis ma fenêtre tous les matins

L'açaï com granola

La peau bronzée des brésiliens sur la plage

La mer caraïbe en été

Les surfeurs à Prainha

Les brésiliens et leur sens de l'autodérision

La farofa, et puis les fejão, et puis aussi les frites d'aipim ... enfin le prato executivo en général 

"Une caipi capitaine"

Valeeuuuuu valeu mermão

E aí

Le fait que le fonctionnement des transports public reste encore un mystère à part entière

Le forró à l'estudiantina musical

Les biennales d'art dans les hangars du port

Les churrascos do Naldo chez les copains à Santa, carpette chiffon carpette 

Les churrascos au Bar do Tino les dimanche midi en haut de Prazeres

Les petits micos macacos

Les trilhas toutes plus magnifiques les unes que les autres

Les cachoeiras dans la ville

La mosaïque de copa

Vendre des bières sur la plage avec Popi

Jouer avec les gosses dans la piscine d'Antoine

Partager ma chambre avec Camille et son boul d’amour

Cracher sur Francesca avec les copains de Cantagalo

Les cheveux longs de Johann

Être en binôme avec un brésilien (avec beaucoup de recul!)

Les fleurs et les jeux de mots de Julie

La façon de danser de Mathilde

Les gâteaux de Marion

Morgane quand elle fait sa voix de bébé

Danser avec Driss

Jordan et Coline quand ils se prennent la tête

La moustache de Paul

Quand Jakob parle français

Quand Tragédie passe à la pedra

Isssoooooooooooo caraaaaaa

Les pools Party

Les Manies Dansante

Les ensaio des blocos pour le carnaval

Le marché bio de Gloria

Les singes sur les fils électriques

Les mots brésiliens dans les phrases en français: "on se pegar un bus" /"tu vas faire xixi?" / "mais c'est tellement caro!" / "ok on se ficar là alors"

Les fim de semana à São Paulo

Halluciner sur l'âge d'Adriana ou de Rudi

Aller à la Casa Nuvem et entamer une guerre de paillettes 

Bola preta, les soirées reggae, jazz ou samba

Boire une bière, les pieds au dessus de l'autoroute, sur le pont en face de la cathédrale de Lapa

Monter tout en haut de Pavão/Pavãozinho, puis regarder le match de foot dominical à CG city

Le "pontkipue" parce que tu est bientôt arrivé au Fundão

Les hérons dans le patio de la fac

Les gens qui dorment la bouche ouverte dans le 485

Le maillot de foot comme habit normal

La bossa Nova au Bip-Bip

L’air salé, la mer qui brille, le sable qui couine, le soleil qui brûle

Les gens qui chantent dans la rue

Les sourires sans dents

Le Christo qui veillent sur nous

La vie à Rio

[xixishrinks]

Having atypical or "reverse" body dysmorphia and being obese and being tall means life is hell. I can't trust my own view of myself OR other people's because they will swear I look fine while I am clinically obese and suffering the physical complications of it. When I near a healthy weight I look "skinny" to people who have known me and they make me feel like I'm withering away which further feeds into my body dysmorphia. I just want to be alone at this point so I can do what FEELS best for my body.

[xixishrinks]

It is so hard to trust ANYTHING in this rotten fucking country that poisons all the food so you end up sick and buy their medications that keep you sick so you feed endlessly into their exploitative system. Not even the fucking produce is truly safe. I am terrified to eat anything solid rn but it’s been almost 3 days and I’m working full time and on my period so I “should” eat but I can’t bring myself to. NOTHING feels safe.

And I’m still so big that I can definitely go a while longer without food.

[xixishrinks]

I have never felt meant for the forced conditions of this world. I have always felt like energy trapped in a casing rather than identifying as my casing. I want to feel as light as my mind. I want to float. I want to fly. I want to be free.

[xixishrinks]

I lost my appetite 🤭😈

[xixishrinks]

Going to take my newest starting stats on November 1st, 2023 and go from there. Last I checked I was under 100kg. If by November 1st I have gone back over I will do a 1 week liquid fast.

[xixishrinks]

Fast to feast >>> restriction any day for me.