arockwholovebl

[arockwholovebl]

So fucking cuteeeeeee

Happy TianShan kiss day

[arockwholovebl]

Wait HAHAHAHHA I am not the only person that thinks that there is something wrong with mo's neck . Am I?

[arockwholovebl]

Wtf What is this supposed to be ox ? What's wrong with mo's eyes? I love the history but Old Xian's drawing gets worse and worse fr... That must be why she posts more regularly.

[arockwholovebl]

[arockwholovebl]

😭😭😭

Late-night talks

[arockwholovebl]

Sad truth😔

[arockwholovebl]

Just kiss me - we can talk later 😏

[arockwholovebl]

i had a good time

[arockwholovebl]

cuties♡

[arockwholovebl]

couple outfit indeed❤️

flower n leaf 🌺 🌿

[arockwholovebl]

( About the father I didn't mean that. I was talking about seeing with our own eyes.)

I understand what you're saying but it's impossible that he doesn't have anything to worry about . Okay that he doesn't have a dysfunctional family but we never saw his problems, even though he is apparently normal it doesn't mean that he doesn't have problems . We never saw his pov even when jian yi kissed him or confessed his feelings.

This unnerves me so much that they barely have any role.

I love mo x he tian and i understand that they had to have development . But now I don't understand why old xian doesn't deepen Xixi and jian yi's relationship .

Or will Jian's kidnapping and He Tian's trip to see his father happen now?

Will we finally (after years of waiting) reach the middle of the story?

Cause everything is well now (apparently).

I need to talk about it.

I don't understand why xixi doesnt have any problems. Like, we don't know nothing about him. We know that he are jian yi's best friend (and a bit more hehhe🤭), have one sister and have a mother. Just this! We never seen is father nor his problems. We neither seen nothing or almost nothing in he's point of view. Looks like he don't have any life when he aren't with jian. Even when he went to make a wish, he wish nothing for him, or when they talk about the future, when jian ask him where he will want live in the future he said "wherever you go, i will go" (okay that was really cute but it's also fucking problematic). He always are the "therapist friend " and never the friend who was helped. This makes me wonder if xixi has ever had a problem that he needs to vent to Jian.

((Anyway, srr for my horrible English, is not my mother tongue so if the text is shit, be patient and try to decipher what I wrote. I tried my best🥹))

[arockwholovebl]

Snippet

Another short snippet from the same fic as before.

The bar is easy to find on a street off Wulin night market, two narrow windows and a glass partition door beneath green awnings, nestled in between a dry cleaners and a hardware store. It’s a long, narrow space with scattered tables and a bar in dark wood with copper edging backed by mirrors along one wall. It’s packed. The mirrors reflect a multitude of bottles and glassware, and multiplies the crowd so the place feels at once both bigger and more claustrophobic. There’s a small scene to one side, and further back a section of booths halfway obscuring three or four pool tables. 

The general volume is loud, and the place smells like nicotine and spilled beer, mixed with sweat and fried foods. Jian Yi scans the room, looking for his friend. He spots the familiar red hair of Guanshan at a booth towards the back. The war between anticipation and dread inside him, long since replaced by numbness, sends up a faint spark of nerves at the sight. At least he’s expected here. Guanshan invited him. Jian Yi raises an arm and catches Guanshan’s eye.

Guanshan fights his way out of their booth and past the crust of people lining the bar.

“Jian Yi!” He calls out, pushing past the last few people and clapping his hand on Jian Yi’s shoulder, “What the hell!” 

He’s flushed and in the animated phase of intoxication. Jian Yi nods and Guanshan pulls him roughly into a short hug, thumping him once on the back. “You’re really back? Fuck!”

He pushes Jian Yi back out at arms length and stares at him, narrow eyed. “Two years?” he says, “You just disappeared.” The bar is noisy and his voice is loud and kind of grating. In trademark Guanshan style he manages to look both pleased and pissed off at the same time.

“Right,” Jian Yi says quietly, his gut clenches painfully, “not my decision.”

“Yeah?” Guanshan searches his face and seems to give up on whatever he’s looking for, “It’s good to see you, Bro,” he pats Jian Yi’s shoulder, like he’s reassuring a nervous dog. “You look the same.” 

Jian yi does and doesn’t look the same. He knows that he’s bony and hollow eyed, and he can’t muster the energy to distract from it.

Guanshan brings him back to the booth. Buzzcut is there, and they say hello. Their other friends are at the pool tables. Jian Yi buys a round of drinks for their table, and Buzzcut grabs a handful of beers and joins his friends at the back..

“You okay?” Guanshan asks when they’re alone, leaning on the table, studying his profile.

“Mn.” Jian Yi looks at the opposing wall, his drink untouched. He plays with his phone, turning it over and over in his hands..

“Do you wanna tell me what happened?”

“What happened…” Jian Yi repeats, monotone.

“Yeah.” Guanshan fiddles with his drink, face scrunching up in a frown, “You disappeared, man. You were gone for a long time. We didn’t hear anything.”

“Right,” Jian Yi says.

“So, do you want to tell me what happened,” Guanshan repeats with dogged stubbornness.

“Not really,” Jian Yi says. His hands still, gripping the phone. He stares at the whitening knuckles.

“Fuck,” Guanshan swears with quiet intensity, “do you know how Zhengxi —” he breaks off when he sees the look on Jian Yi’s face, his rising anger dissipating at the stony expression. “Shit. Forget I said anything. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

[arockwholovebl]

Snippet from a current WIP:

Jian Yi tries calling Guanshan’s old number. He doesn’t expect it to go through. Or, he doesn’t expect Guanshan to pick up.

“What?” It’s a short bark.

“Hey Red,” Jian Yi says. His voice is dry. He clears his throat.

“Who’s this?” Guanshan’s voice, suspicious. 

There’s a lot of noise in the background. Jian Yi laughs quietly, suddenly happy, fond.

“It’s me, Jian Yi. I’m back.”

“Jian Yi? What the fuck! Really? Jian Yi… When?”

“Since last week”

“Does Zhengxi know?” Guanshan asks, “Shit!”

“Yes. Yeah. Of course.”

“Did you see him? Talk to him?” And then, more quietly, “He didn’t tell me.”

“You two talk?”

“Yeah, of course. What? Of course we talk, Jian Yi! We’re friends.”

“Right. Of course,” some nameless feeling moving through his gut. He breathes. Pulls himself together. “What are you up to? Do you have time?”

“Oh yeah, shit! Let's meet up, Jian Yi. You wanna come to the bar? I’m out with a couple of friends… you remember Buzzcut, right?”

“Yes, I remember him,” he bites his lip. Feels a grimace on his face. The need to get out of here. “Where are you? I can get a cab or something…”

Guanshan texts him the location.

[arockwholovebl]

I need to talk about it.

I don't understand why xixi doesnt have any problems. Like, we don't know nothing about him. We know that he are jian yi's best friend (and a bit more hehhe🤭), have one sister and have a mother. Just this! We never seen is father nor his problems. We neither seen nothing or almost nothing in he's point of view. Looks like he don't have any life when he aren't with jian. Even when he went to make a wish, he wish nothing for him, or when they talk about the future, when jian ask him where he will want live in the future he said "wherever you go, i will go" (okay that was really cute but it's also fucking problematic). He always are the "therapist friend " and never the friend who was helped. This makes me wonder if xixi has ever had a problem that he needs to vent to Jian.

((Anyway, srr for my horrible English, is not my mother tongue so if the text is shit, be patient and try to decipher what I wrote. I tried my best🥹))

[arockwholovebl]

@arockwholovebl replied to your post “I want to say something about the sparkler scene,...”:

Pls talk about the last chap (the one where Xixi removes the hair from Jian's face and puts it behind his ear ).I would love to hear your opinion on this.((Sorry for the spelling errors. English is not my mother tongue.))

​This one? Hmmm, let me see...

We've seen a lot of this kind of casual tenderness from Zhan Zhengxi towards Jian Yi. If you want a long string of similar actions, go read through their picnic/trip on the mountain (chapters 324-334 approximately), but these attentions are also just the norm from Zhengxi ever since they started dating (after Jian Yi's confession in chapter 206-209, follow-up chapter 212-213).

Zhengxi seems to sometimes use these gestures of tenderness to break Jian Yi out of his griping and complaining, which is what happens here. The caress redirects Jian Yi's attention, away from his criticism of the others, and towards the two of them being together here, alone, watching the sunset.

ETA: let’s elaborate a little on the way these two focus on each other.

Jian Yi’s base focus and orientation is always, and vocally, Zhengxi. Going to high school? - Will Xixi be there? Playing basketball with the friends? - Will Xixi be there? Doing pretty much anything? - Will Xixi be there? Jian Yi’s overall focus is Zhengxi and being with him/close to him. He straight up tells He Tian that everything to do with Zhengxi is of the utmost importance to him.

Zhengxi is notoriously quiet. He doesn’t often say anything about his attachment to Jian Yi. The exceptions I can recall off the cuff are: when he has to make things clear to Xiao Hui, twice! and when Jian Yi is kidnapped and Zhengxi is so worried he spills his guts to He Tian. The rest I can think of are direct reassurances made to Jian Yi. Zhengxi shows his constant focus on Jian Yi through gestures, a lot of them gestures of care: swap drinks with him, if he doesn’t like the one he got; lend him his jacket, if he looks cold; carry him when he’s tired/drunk; etc. This happens all the time. But it’s more than just caring for Jian Yi. Zhengxi has his own needy side, and it is slightly possessive in nature. Whenever Jian Yi’s focus and attention in the moment strays too far or too long from him, Zhengxi will do something to bring it back. To reorient Jian Yi’s attention towards himself. This is one of those instances.

(this is where I get into critiquing the way this is shown/told, so here's your reminder that my policy on these things is: don't like, don't read)

This is the kind of subtle image-based storytelling I like this manhua for. Unfortunately the art is really sloppy here. Ignoring how Jian Yi goes from rubber face to BL prettyboi between the two frames, the way Zhengxi's glance is drawn so sloppily they had to add a fucking arrow to show where he's looking, rather than just fix his eyes so he would be actually looking at Jian Yi's hair... I am frankly just baffled and mystified at the choice! This is a central part of why I miss the early art so much.

Juxtapose this scene with the one where Jian Yi is comparing heights with Zhengxi at school (sry, I gave up on tracking the chapter number down), and Zhengxi looks at his lips when he gets close, while responding to Jian Yi's claim that he's the taller one now... it's not even mentioned anywhere in the text and our attention isn't overtly drawn to it, but that's exactly what makes it so good: there's no need to spell it out, it's already shown in the art for anyone interested in paying attention. I enjoyed this subtlety so much, and it's essential to Jian Yi and Xixi's romance (which seems to be why any number of fans are weirdly unable to pick up on the beats of it).

Anyway. Sweet babies in love <3

[arockwholovebl]

I want to say something about the sparkler scene, from the 2024 Chinese New Years special.

We don't often (if ever) see Jian Yi being overtly active in providing for Zhengxi's needs. He is mostly reactive to Zhengxi's wants, e.g. deferring to Zhengxi whenever he clearly marks a boundary and quickly accepting his preference for privacy and reticence, even when it conflicts with his own desire for open and demonstrative affection.

In the New Years chapter we see a more mature approach to their relationship from Jian Yi than we've otherwise been shown. He is usually pretty stupid about being honest with Zhengxi about his feelings, generally overstepping, being too agressive with his attentions or overly demanding in childish ways to get Zhengxi's attention. Here he shows an attentiveness to Zhengxi that parallels the romantic birthday date Zhengxi sprang on him, when they were just fumbling their way into a more-than-friends relationship early on in the story (which is, in story, no more than a few months ago at the most, although special chapters seem to take place on alternate timelines).

It's New Years and they're out with their friend group. Gifts are traditional and Jian Yi wants to give Zhengxi a gift. Nothing expensive or flashy, because that would be more like showing off, and besides, Zhengxi doesn't like anything that draws attention. So he picks something that evokes an intimate personal memory to them, and passes it discreetly to Zhengxi. When Zhengxi pulls him aside he doesn't say anything to their friends, but immediately follows Zhengxi so they can share the moment together in privacy.

In most of their interactions Jian Yi will center himself. But here he sits quietly besides Zhengxi, watching him. He is centering Zhengxi completely here, both in his choice of gift, how he gives it, and making space for Zhengxi's emotions in the moment. The scene showcases how aware Jian Yi is of Zhengxi's feelings in ways we are not normally shown. I believe it's the only scene we have of Jian Yi cherishing Zhengxi's love for him, without immediately jumping in to demonstrate his own for Zhengxi. It's touching.

<3

[arockwholovebl]

Just read this

Getting Dressed, And Other Daily Activities

A ficlet by Emotional Android, based on the above art and characters by Old Xian, as requested by @arockwholovebl

…

“You ready?” Zhengxi asks, picking his shirt off the bed. They’ve had breakfast and showered and they need to leave soon.

“I'm ready for you,” Jian Yi teases, wrapping his arms around Zhengxi from behind and leaning his full weight against him, making Zhengxi stumble forward.

He braces himself against the bed. Jian Yi is long and skinny, but the full deadweight of him is still enough to throw him off balance.

“Hey!” He pushes off the bed and turns towards Jian Yi, who doesn't let go. “Watch what you’re doing.”

“Xixi, you are so fit! I left for a little while and you got like this,” Jian Yi’s palms stroke across Zhengxi’s chest, fingers smoothing across collarbones and shoulders, trailing goosebumps. “So handsome,” he leans back and looks at Zhengxi through half lidded eyes.

Zhengxi shivers, suddenly very conscious of his bare skin, of Jian Yi’s hands, cool and supple. Of being half naked, while Jian Yi is fully dressed.

“Get off!” He says and pushes at Jian Yi, who stumbles backwards and pulls Zhengxi down with him. Zhengxi falls into a squat, grabbing him on the way down. 

“Be careful, idiot! You'll get hurt,” he scolds once he’s caught Jian Yi safely, his arm awkwardly thrown over Jian Yi’s shoulder, hugging him close. Zhengxi ignores the short jolt of fear at Jian Yi falling. It’s ok. He caught him.

Jian Yi clings, surprise changing to laughter as he leans fully back into Zhengxi’s arm. 

“Don't get dressed,” he says, grinning, “you don't need a shirt, you look good like this.” He slots his face into the crook of Zhengxi’s neck, hands holding tight to shoulder and waist.

Zhengxi ignores him, heart thumping. He leans forward and picks up his shirt where it dropped to the floor, then gets back on his feet, taking Jian Yi with him.

Jian Yi doesn't let go.

“So handsome. So strong,” he grins, pushing against Zhengxi. He runs his hands down Zhengxi’s chest and up his arms. 

Zhengxi gives him a flat look, but can't suppress the shiver that runs through him. His ears are hot. “Are you going to let me get dressed or do I have to kick your arse first?” He asks.

“I'll let you go if you kiss me,” Jian Yi says, sticking to him like a caterpillar, “One kiss.” Jian Yi looks at him expectantly.

Zhengxi sighs and presses a chaste kiss to the side of his mouth. “Now get off me.” 

He moves to put on his shirt, but Jian Yi still doesn’t let go. Instead he narrows his eyes and frowns, pursing his lips. 

“A kiss, Xixi! You know what a kiss is,” he pulls at Zhengxi's neck. Zhengxi takes a half step forward. Their legs tangle and trip them up.

They're back on the floor. 

This time Zhengxi is straddling Jian Yi’s legs. His knees and his left palm sting where they smacked against the floor, his other arm held tight around Jian Yi's waist, breaking his fall once again.

“For fucks sake!” Zhengxi says, temper flaring, “Can you let me get dressed?!”

Jian Yi leans forward, face inches away from his own. “Mn. As soon as you kiss me. Properly. On the mouth,” he says. 

He's very close. His long fingers brushing up the side of Zhengxi's neck. Eyes dark and fixed on his lips.

Zhengxi pulls him in by the waist and kisses him on the mouth. Properly. As instructed. It takes a while. Then he shoves his hand in Jian Yi’s face and pushes him away.

“Now get out of here,” he says, roughly.

“Right. Yes. Of course,” Jian Yi gasps, scrambling to his feet, eyes bright, a big grin plastered on his face. “I’ll go put on my shoes.”

Zhengxi does his best to keep a straight face.