#xie lian rant

[xielianlover2]

Okay. I need to talk about Xie Lian. This is gonna be a bit rambly, jumbled, and unedited because I am kinda sleep-deprived right now.

Out of every fictional character I’ve read about… Xie Lian stands out as possessing the most remarkable mental fortitude and resilience I’ve ever seen. He’s such a brave and stubborn man. He’s, well… a diamond in the rough. 

I always thought him to be really mature for his age in the flashbacks. He was what, only around 16-17? And then after he descended down to save his kingdom, he was around the mental age of 20. He was barely an adult. Yet he had his whole kingdom’s fate on his shoulders, and the way he was treated was beyond horrible. 

That’s the problem with getting assigned the role of a leader… a general even. The number of deaths, their successes, their losses all fall upon the one who had the most status, most importance. So many people blamed Xie Lian for the fall on Xianle, but really, none of that was on him. Xianle was gonna fall either way due to all the politics and strife. But my goodness. To put all that blame on a child??? It’s so despicable. 

It made me terribly sad to see Xie Lian blame himself for what happened to Xianle and his people, when they were the ones who put him on a pedestal and did nothing to help ease his burdens. I think Xie Lian has natural charisma and could be a good leader, however he does not have the heart for it. He cares too much. He’s the type who wants to save everyone. He doesn’t like or want to see people suffer, even those considered his enemies. 

Xie Lian suffers a lot. He goes through so much, goes to unimaginable suffering constantly for 800 years. However, the core message of the series is that Xie Lian, as an individual, has the power to decide his own fate. He has the power to decide to remain pure at heart in the face of immeasurable suffering and to not give into Bai Wuxiang’s manipulations.  

His suffering can’t even be put into words. To be blamed for a whole kingdom dying. To blame himself for the horrifying Human-Face disease. Then he was banished and cursed and hunted by the Yong’an’s people. He became extremely depressed on top of trying to survive and take care of his parents each day. Mu Qing helped a lot, but he too eventually left. He resorted to stealing, which went completely against his morals. He was cornered by 33 Heavenly Officials, who humiliated and bullied him, Mu Qing being one of the people involved as well. All the while being haunted bu Bai Wuxiang, who’s truly a sadistic, unredeemable monster. Then he was brutally stabbed fatally hundreds of times in the most horrific way possible and the recovery-time was just two months of pain with the monster who made it all happen keeping him for company. Then Feng Xin left because Xie Lian changed too much, was too hurt and numb and lashed out. 

Then his parents left him too in a way. And Xie Lian probably blames himself for that. So at that point, Xie Lian just craved death. But he couldn’t even die because of the cursed shackle. 

But still. Still. Even after going after Lang Ying and having Wu Ming burn down the palace and could release the Human-Face disease all over the Yong’an kingdom.

He still chose to pin himself on the ground outside with the same sword that killed him hundreds of times… and waited for three whole days for one, just one person, one samaritan to help him. He still had a dredge of hope in humanity. In people. Because in the end, Xie Lian is an empathetic and kind person. He believes and has hope in people- because he is a pure-hearted person himself, and has to believe there are other people like him out there. Because he can’t be the only one. (He’s not, but a person like him is one out of millions.)

And deep inside he starts to believe Bai Wuxiang’s words when he come on the third day to convince him that this test/social experiment he was doing was pointless. That it is all so hopeless, and these people aren’t worth living, not after how much Xie Lian suffered at their hands. 

But all it took was one person. He was waiting. To be proved wrong. He wanted to be proved wrong, even after everything. That truly… I don’t have words for how amazing that is. 

And then. Even after 800 years of having literally nothing. 800 years of loneliness, suffering, and depression. Being nailed through the heart and buried alive for an undetermined time. Just so he could save more people again. He still remained the same. So pure of heart. So sweet and kind. He even asked for his second shackle to take away his luck so other people more “deserving” than him can take it. 

He still has his problems. His mental health is terrible. He’s very depressed. He chose to stay in a coffin for what could be a hundred years because of self-flagellation probably.

He has no self-esteem, except he’s so interestingly contradictory. He loathes himself, but he also believes he’s completely right. If Xie Lian had to do everything over again, I have no doubt he would do the same thing, except the second-time, maybe blame himself less, because he knows deep down what he is doing is right. He has a simple, but strict moral code. All he wants to do is the right thing. That means saving the common people. Interfere and help if he sees someone suffering. If he can save one person, he will save one person. If he can save a hundred people, he will save a hundred people. 

What a stubborn, beautiful person. 

Book 8: “I won’t! I won’t I won’t change!��… He’s been pent up for far too long. It was as though he’d been waiting for a chance like this all these years, and tears rolled as he screamed. “I won’t change! Even if it’s painful, even if I die, I won’t change, I will never change!”

And he didn’t. He has more than proven that he won’t change even if he died a hundred times. He won’t change even if he died a million times. Even as a young adult, he stood in front of a whole village of people after experiencing what is it like to feel stabbed fatally hundred of times already and was ready to do it all over again willingly. With even more people, even a whole kingdom of people.

Insane does not even begin to cover it. What an extraordinary resilient and compassionate person. 

Xie Lian is truly… something else. Something beyond words. He is also the only type of God I would willingly pray to. 

I understand why Hua Cheng would go to any extent for him. 

[sweepingboy]

little girl: are you a prince?

xie lian: yes, i am

little girl: please don't marry mu qing

xie lian: //////eh????

little girl: mum says that mu qing is so pretty someone from the palace is going to take him soon and he promised me he'll marry me when i grow up :(

feng xin: hahaha imagine wanting to marry mu qing hahahhahaha

feng xin 800 years later: ... well

[totallynotsloughjykk]

okay rant because I need to hhhhh I'm so tired of people misinterpreting mu qing. no he is not a heartless monster nor is he a tsundere baby. he's a complex character and people need to stop dumbing him down to either good/bad mu qing values logic before anything. he thinks everything through too much and only considers feelings after, which makes him come off as unempathetic and uncaring. that's his main flaw. he cannot deal with any emotions and hides behind an indifferent/arrogant mask despite it being far from his actual self. his avoidance with vulnerability is understandable considering just how much he had to watch himself during his teenhood and probably even childhood he's hypervigilant and gets defensive the second he feels any form of attack coming towards him. for example, him freaking out over the red coral pearl going missing during the xianle era - which, again, is understandable since that would've ruined his reputation completely. he's also terrible with showing affection and care and that's another reason why he always come off as so mean and rude mu qing is also deeply insecure; he suddenly turned his attention to hong'er after xie lian praised his skill with a saber and he found reasons to kick him out fast (I'll get onto this later). he jumps any time he's handed a broom and he's also pretty easily envious. he doesn't usually go far beyond petty words and punches - like xie lian said, he's spiteful enough to spit in someone's cup, not poison it his flaws are well thought-out and make a lot of sense for his character. you can trace his behavior patterns back to his past; for example, his hypervigilance and arrogant mask comes the fact that everyone always expected the worst of him. the second he was even suspected to be in the wrong everyone turned on him without a doubt, so he grew wary of what he did and what he said. and for the arrogant mask, he couldn't prove otherwise at all - who would listen? no one. so he just gave up and got used to it mu qing has his flaws but he also has his qualities; he's a kind person beneath everything, shockingly enough. he handed poor children cherries after he was beaten up for picking them, he brought feng xin and xie lian rice and medicine after he left, he helped jian lan give birth, he disguised himself to help xie lian and he took a whole cursed shackle for refusing to hurt him. he can only show affection through actions and it's still uncomfortable for his deeds to be recognized since he's already so used to the selfish, cold and indifferent tag everyone slapped on him so he never expects any gratitude or anything in return at all also controversial take but hua cheng was wrong to hold a grudge against mu qing and feng xin. first of all, the feng xin grudge was entirely unnecessary (for mu qing it's a lot more understandable) but that's for another rant. second of all, while it is, again, understandable from hua cheng's POV, from an outside perspective it's just.. wrong. hua cheng will go towards extreme lengths to anyone who even mildly hurts off xie lian, and that's one of his flaws as a character. I love hua cheng deeply and that's part of what makes him beautifully complex. he's overprotective after seeing his beloved hurt so many times by so many people while he couldn't do much about it. he views xie lian through rose-colored lenses and I doubt he'll let go of the way he sees mu qing any time soon considering just how heavy of a grudge he held and how complicated their friendship/relationship in general is. they don't get along and until they formally talk things out, give them 200 years to warm up to each other they'd still probably stab each other if left unattended

[backpackingspace]

Listen yin yu and Ling wen have the exact same jobs. Yin yus just yah know. Paid

And yin yu could have time off if he wanted but he has strict plans to overwork himself to death so that the thoughts cant plague him and hua cheng is an enabler

[factsilike]

Really tired of constantly seeing posts declaring that everyone in MXTX novels is complicated and 'morally grey' and that's what makes her works wonderfully written, and that everyone else who doesn't see that is stupid, or is 'demonising' characters and bashing them for rightfully criticising their shitty, very much unjustified actions.

And ironically it seems so simplistic to just declare that, because yes her stories are wonderfully written and complex, but not for that reason. You're clearly not reading her works and only spouting what you think her stories say. There are many morally grey characters in morally complex stories out there, but MDZS IS NOT ONE OF THEM.

NONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS (i.e protagonists and their male leads except for LBH maybe) ARE MORALLY GREY OR MORALLY COMPLEX.

THEY ARE ALL MORALLY RIGHTEOUS.

Just take a closer look at their actions compared to the actions of literally everyone else around them, it's not that hard to see.

Not to mention that MXTX herself literally says that WWX and LWJ are both morally ideal and that ahe hopes her readers can be like them, but people seem to have no respect for the word of authors in the name of their self projection onto the characters being contradicted nowadays 😒

(also saw someone dismissively say that HC may think that the world revolves around XL or whatever, but others don't and they're right??

First of all, did you even read the novel? HC made his judgement based on how others treated him versus how XL did when he was a CHILD. And how XL continues to treat others to this day. He is well within his rights to think the world of XL, especially since XL suffered more than every other person and still doesn't succumb to evil, despite having every right to do so, miles more than others. He all but regards XL as his moral compass, because he's proof that truly good people do exist in this world, and not ONE other person in the novel is shown to be as good as him.)

One of the reasons why I really don't like the Xianle Trio is this; neither FX nor MQ seem to regard XL as his own person with his own agency, who is capable of making his own decisions initially as HC does, and only near the end of the novel do they let up a bit when their asses had to be saved by XL multiple times. (especially considering what fools they made of themselves in that spiderweb cave lmao)

Both of them try to enforce XL ALL THE TIME ("Your Highness don't do this or don't do that or don't say this or don't go there or don't talk to him"), as if XL has not survived perfectly well on his own without them FOR 800 YEARS.

The difference between them and HC is clearly spelled out when FC asks HC about why he is not stopping XL, and HC replies that while he may not agree with some of XL's decisions, he would never force him to do what he thinks is correct, something both MQ and FX are CONSTANTLY shown to try to do.

Like please. Xianle Trio who? More like suffering XL and his pair of nuisances who think themselves to be his babysitters. And most of the time he's the one babysitting them.

Another thing that irks me is that their frequent arguments are often played off for laughs, but XL is truly a saint, because if my friends were constantly bickering over petty things all throughout our dangerous journey and giving me nothing but headaches, especially in survival situations, I'd given them the boot a long time ago.

[versatileversion]

Tgcf fandom, I have a bone to pick with ya’ll- specially in tiktok spaces.

Why is multishipping such a solid way to get bombed on by this fandom? I mean honestly, I have seen so much hate towards any creators that don’t religiously ship hualian, and I get it they’re the main ship, but theres so many other dynamics in this series!

Shipping is not always what you want as canon, or what ends up, it’s also just enjoying the dynamic of two characters separate from the main couple.

Even setting that aside, you cannot tell me that mq and fx did not have feelings for xl at any point, its xie lian, everyone had a crush on him.

Like fenglian for example?? That ship has my soul in its clutches- it is adorable. Same thing with hua cheng. In canon, would he ever end up with another? No, but neither did beefleaf, so lets not cherry pick when we bring up canon.

Personally, hua cheng and yin yu hold a dangerous part of my heart and i will fight with anyone over them, come at me.

As long as it is legal, idk what ppl’s problem is, you cannot add a god like Xie lian into a media and only limit him to one character, please and thank you.

[urlocal-ghosty]

okay, so I just finished reading tgcf (not completely, I haven't read the extras yet, but I have finished chapter 133) and I honestly couldn't be more satisfied with the ending

the way things ended was perfect and mxtx is a phenomenal author

hualian supremacy ☝️☝️ make sure to worship them together you guys <3

[lazycranberrydoodles]

COME ON GUYS DON'T LET DIANXIA DOWN

[old-danmei-fan]

It always blows my mind how different the TGCF fandom is on TikTok than Tumblr.

Comments on 3 different Hualian videos were talking about what a bad friend Xie Lian is because he chooses Hua Cheng over his friends. One example was when HC turned LQQ into the doll and XL didn't force him to change LQQ back.

Did they miss the whole part where LQQ was wanting to duel to the death? Do you really think XL would want to kill him? That's why he used Ruoye to subdue him instead of beating his ass with Fangxin.

The only thing I can think of is that most of the people with this opinion haven't read the novels yet.

[revel-inbluehues]

I never understood the idea of being attracted to a teacher until this day. WHY IS GUOSHI!XL SO HOT????? Is it because he's a lot more aloof and feels more harsher than current Xie Lian? I don't know, but I love it, I really do love his Guoshi era.

I like that, even in this fairly serious episode, we see funny moments with Xie Lian and Shi Qingxuan talking about Banyue, and Mu Qing and Feng Xin arguing like cats and dogs.

But without a doubt, my favourite part was Hualian.

The way I screeched when HC came and grabbed XL, I did not think that the animation team would've gotten away with the waist touch, but they did.

Xie Lian was never afraid; he felt guilty, yes, but he still cared for Hua Chang, and more importantly, his first instinctive thought had been that HC came to save him. For centuries, he'd been alone, and before then, he suffered his some of his worst moments without help and didn't expect anyone to ease his pains. Yet, for the first time in years, he, even for a moment, believed that someone had come for him to help him because they cared. XL's first thought was that HC came to his rescue because he instinctually knew that HC cared.

And HC felt guilty for hurting him, and he couldn't care less for Paradise Manor. Like he said, PM was never a home. It was a residence, one of many he made FOR XL, so why would he care if it burned down? Making sure XL was safe and happy was his priority but he hurt the very person he dedicated his whole heart to, and that honestly hurt HC more than anything else. I love it so much.

On another note, the donghua was definitely more open with HC's expressions and emotions than the manhwa. The manhwa have the feel of a normally cold, collected person understanding that the love of their life doesn't value themselves, of resignation and sadness, while angry at themselves for not being enough. Meanwhile, the donghua makes HC more expressive, pained, and hurt with an open wound, also angry at himself for not being enough, but also angry at the world for making XL think that he isn't worth it and it actively hurts HC to think about it.

Also, the fact that they made it seem like HC was about to cry and e-ming was about to cry more made me sad and laugh at the same time. Like, look at their faces:

[xielianlover2]

EXACTLY. You put into words what I think about Xie Lian all the time. I never can find the right words, but let me try now.

I think Xie Lian is a contradictory character… but at the same time, not. 

Xie Lian is very empathetic and a person with strong emotions/feelings. But at the same time… he’s very logical. This creates conflict in him when trying to make big decisions. 

He’s also the really stubborn type, which means he can also get something like tunnel vision and keep doing the same thing over and over again even if there’s no favorable end in sight. For example, when he was trying to bring water to Yong’an while fighting a whole war with the same people. 

Many people in the novels liked to tell him what he was doing was wrong and that he had to come to a firm decision if he wanted to make a difference. Either stop bringing water and helping the Yong’an people or just completely wipe them off the map, which he easily could have done, but something he can never, ever actually do because that goes completely against his morals. 

So he was at an impasse, and was unhappy with the way things were going, but not understanding why he was feeling so disheartened until he had that chat with the state preceptor. And then afterward, there was nothing else he could have done to change things, so the only choice he had for himself was to push forward because giving up was not an option.

The problem is that no one person/god could have helped Xianle. The kingdom was doomed from the beginning and Xie Lian, basically the figurehead and being the Crown Prince… got all the blame put on him. It is so unfair and implausible for anyone to think one person could have done anything to save a whole kingdom, especially when no one was helping him. And he was doomed from the start anyway because he’s not the type of general to give speeches while annihilating the other side. He’s the type of person who hates war and conflict and would do anything to stop it. Anyone here familiar with Itachi from Naruto? Xie Lian kind of reminds me of him. Both are the tunnel vision, perfectionist types. They have one idea and they will go through with it no matter what. But Xie Lian does not want to hurt anyone. 

I think Xie Lian is a bit of a perfectionist. The problem is, younger Xie Lian truly thought he could do everything himself. Save his people, including the Yong’an. And he probably could have… if everyone else was also like him. This is also something else Xie Lian find out too late, in the end. 

Xie Lian is a rare type of person. He’s the rare type who always wants peace, who’s always empathetic and kind and stubborn. He’s very justice-oriented and he will try and try and try to always save people because that’s just who he is. He will do it at his own expense without hesitation. The problem is. Nobody else in the novels are like this… and nobody in real-life is like this either. He’s a very rare type of person in a world where most people are followers and not as self-sacrificing. People like Xie Lian will always get burnt out at some point or the other. They will give, give, give until there’s nothing left to give. They will get hurt while others will be fine… and it is just so damn unfair. 

Anyways, I think I am going way off point here. I’m here to talk about why I think Xie Lian is contradictory, so contradictory, that he may not even understand himself fully. At the end of the novels, I think he finally does understand though.

And I think a main reason why that happens is because of Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng… understands Xie Lian completely. Like so, so well. He understands Xie Lian better than Xie Lian does himself. 

And why does Xie Lian not understand himself completely? I think it’s because he’s a people-pleaser. And a huge one at that. When he was younger, he was much worse, and he changed a lot in that way as he grew older. 

So… why do I think being a people-pleaser makes him contradictory? It’s because a lot of younger Xie Lian’s actions don’t follow his thoughts. He does whatever he thinks his people wants, and that’s why he’s so upset after he descended down to help Xianle. What he wanted was to help and save everyone. What everyone else wanted was revenge and to win a war. He’s kind of the only one who wanted a third option even. So I think he always feels frustrated with himself because he can’t just do what he wants, because the world does not work that way. No matter how much he can change things, he always has to conform in some way or the other, whether because of his own physical limits or because he can’t force other people to be like him. 

He’s very idealistic… but he’s also realistic and he makes decisions while trying to do whatever the people want and also what he wants. This makes it very hard for him to make firm, decisive actions. And this is probably where a lot of his self-hatred comes from too. He feels so much and all he wants is to help. But he can’t. There are always so many obstacles in his way. 

This is why I think he’s at his truest when he drops all of the facades, and his thoughts flow into his actions. He can be a downright bastard, but he is also the kindest people anyone could ever meet just because he cares so much. 

He will judge you a lot probably, because he always looks at people by seeing their fullest potential (see Mu Qing and child Hua Cheng and their sword skills) and if they fall short of that potential, he would definitely be judgy about that.  Anyways, if he truly looks deep within himself for one moment, look at himself without any judgment or self-flagellation, I think he would see that deep down he’s always been the same and that he will never change- because he made that choice for himself a long time ago. He was forced to his lowest, he had absolutely nothing except his own grief and darkness. He had no hope, nothing, just a looming dark and lonely future… yet he still looked for one person to change his mind. (Bamboo hat guy). 

This is why I love the ending so much. Hua Cheng helps Xie Lian see that he would always make the same decisions over and over again. That it may be foolish and impossible. But it’s also incredibly brave, kind, and beautiful. He may be doomed from the start, but if he can save one person, he will always save one person. If he can save ten people, he will always save ten people. If he can save a hundred people, he will always save a hundred. 

He’s always been an all-or-nothing type of person. He will put everything into it because at the end of it all… Xie Lian is a pure, and good person. 

Xie Lian is like the funniest character you guys. There's a reason he loves all of Hua Cheng's shenanigans and finds the guy hilarious. Guys, he's a judgemental bitch actually. He's been raised to be polite, but he was still a Crown Prince. He has Rich People Thoughts for sure.

He's so snarky, and well, he's been through so much shit, so of course he's snarky. Y'all remember the long-ass rant he went on about all of Mu Qing's bad characteristics? It was like 56 pages long, and he said it all in one breath. He's so savage and unapologetic, I love him.

[nirrvana]

why do all of my favorite characters keep getting impaled both literally and metaphorically by a thousand sword blows representing the eternal weight of hatred and pain they must carry all by themselves why does this keep happening (this is about anthy himemiya and xie lian)

[totallynotsloughjykk]

going on another mu qing rant (can you tell I love mu qing) every time people call him selfish for leaving I lose a little bit of hope for this fandom. people always forget TGCF is through xie lian's perspective - mu qing could barely be considered his friend at the time. xie lian did see him as one, but they still had an employer-employee relationship for the main part. now, please imagine this: your employer ends up homeless and gets hunted down on the daily and you tread along because you're used to it. you wash his and his family's clothes, clean, cook, work and look for places to stay all probably free/poorly paid (since they barely had money at the time I don't think he was given much). said employer is still prideful and refuses to do work that wouldn't be considered honorable - AKA the only methods to actually gain money at the time - so you're just arguing all the time. your sick mother is at home, you're probably far away from her and you've been dealing with your own shit for a while. now, would you stay with said employer or go back to your sick mother? also, before y'all bring up the revised version where his mother isn't mentioned, I'm gonna put it in another way. you're an amazing martial artist and your former recruiter suddenly gets his ass handed to him and gets dragged down by a lot. you stay with him but he refuses to listen to you for most things, you're still cleaning up and doing all his chores for him and you're obviously tired. he's not the only one who's been through a rough patch of shit. you still have a lot of potential but you rarely have the opportunity to train giving the situation. if you were to train hard enough, you'd ascend and gain the resources needed to get everyone out of there. would you still stay with them just to cater to their needs? and I'd like to mention that he didn't just... abandon them. he didn't straight up leave, he asked if he could. and xie lian allowed him to.

[taco-drinking-bleach]

If one was to dedicate their whole life to something. Work on it, strive for it. Care for it. Be the best at it (or alternatively, be the most loved by this someone). I don't understand why that is wasteful. If some loves for something (or again. Someone) so much that they can keep going. Why is it bad? Not in the weird way, what I mean it. just for a silly example, if little ducks kept me going. I made art, sold them, made money, had a simple life. With the little ducks, and most importantly, was happy. Is that really a shame? a waste? If you truly care for something that much. Good for you. It doesn't matter the reason why, if it keeps ya going. It keeps you going. Yanqing picks up a sword and goes on. Hua Chang looked for Xie lain he lived on. When Aether lost his sister, he looks for her. He keeps going. No matter how stupid it may seem. Your interests are a part of you. Keep going for the silly things. For isn't that what life is for :]

[jinrudelan]

i think the thing about hualian is one of them genuinely Is And Has Been in love the whole time, like from the BEGINNING of the story, and it’s not some “love at first sight” thing, hua cheng being in love w xie lian is, even from the beginning, VERY OBVIOUSLY something deep and serious. and then we see all this from the pov of a lonely guy who is just happy to have someone to talk to that will listen to him

like. no wonder gege feels SO dense and they make people homophobic and you are shaking characters by the shoulders

i’ve seen people point out that hua cheng was more in love with the idea of xie lian and slowly fell in actual love w xie lian over the story and while i think this is true, i think hua cheng knew this on some level. like he is always so desperate to know more about xie lian. i think he’s aware that his love is for his prince and his god, but i also think he went in like. “xie lian may be different than how i imagined him, but the core things, the things i witnessed that made me fall in love, are still who he is”

PLUS he’s seen xie lian at his best, and he’s seen him at his worst, and he still loves him. day to day might be different, but nothing that would make hua cheng stop loving him.

it’s just that, then he sees gege in his day to day life and gege goes from this Large Prince And God Figure to being gege, and gege isn’t perfect, hua cheng already knew he wasn’t perfect, but he was willing to make excuses and exceptions and explain away everything unsavory gege did, and now gege’s imperfections are little things, like he’s bad at cooking and he can be a bit in his head about things, etc, and these are such small things that hua cheng doesn’t have to justify it. and he finds that he doesn’t have any particular reason or want to. these are just gege’s quirks and he loves gege and by the end of it all he loves his prince and god, and he loves his gege, and he’s in love with xie lian

this is what they meant when they said “What matters is ‘you’ and not the state of you.”

which! interestingly enough! is said by xie lian actually

[jun-wuist]

XIE LIAN BIRTH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 my #1 fav character to sexualise im sorry but yeah. moving on. genuinely tho at the risk of sounding cringe ive been hyperfixated on xl and tgcf for a good 3-4 years??? and he's had a LOT of impact on me. i kid u not stuff about tgcf make bad days much better especially after these last 2 years when there's been crazy amount of ups and downs. he's literally THE character ever. book 4, the bamboo hat scene, his love for hua cheng, book 2, his entire story and motivations and traits is smth i think about way too much. tgcf has unironically helped me process some of my own shit and inspired a bit more self compassion. and ofc ill never forget the people on this fandom no matter what i say i've found many people i learnt from, Wise Older people, talented artists writers n creators, empathetic friends, ppl with a great sense of humor and friend groups who spend a lot of time with me :] genuinely this is one of the few fandoms ive had tons of enriching friendships in. whether or not i still talk to those people ill never forget. anyway yeah i donf see myself getting out of this hellhole of a tgcf fandom anytime soon!!!!