#x. he set fire to the world around him ; but never let a flame touch me. belfastbutcher | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

praisethegabs · 10 months ago

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HATE THAT I LOVE YOU

leon kennedy x f!reader

synopsis: Leon can't stand seeing you around him. You know how much he hates you and you like having fun with it. Things get worse when the two of you get lost during one mission, with no comms to call for help. Leon blames you for everything, until he revels something he shouldn't.

warnings: ENEMIES TO LOVERS. descriptions of injuries, reader taking care of leon, comfort, fake marriage, descriptions of nudity, leon drunk and and reader teasing him. small reference to call of duty characters as part of reader backstory.

word count: 10k +

a/n: heavily inspired by "death of me" by wizthemc. cover from laughingwallaby on x/twitter. it isn't necessary to listen to the song, but I highly recommend it.

"he’d set fire to the world around him but never let a flame touch her" senlinyu

Leon Kennedy hates you more than anything else in this world.

He hated the fact he was obligated to be your partner, hated the reckless way you always managed to finish a mission practically intact, and hated the way you always succeeded in something, no matter what it was. He hates you entirely, even your perfume is enough to get him on his nerves.

He hates you ten times more because he knows you know he hates you, and you seem like you don't care about it at all.

It all started three years ago, when he discovered he would be your new partner. Your name was pretty famous, and so were you. Not that he envies your success, but he never thought he would be under the shadow of someone like you. At first, Leon was very impressed with your skills and the way you work, but two weeks later, he started to despise you, and this feeling turned into hatred.

You ain’t stupid, you can even feel all the hate he has towards you, and things get better because you have this masochist side of yours that makes you feel happy seeing how angry he can be at you.

Although you don’t care about the reasons he hates you, the thing is, you can’t deny how attractive Leon can be, and having him as your partner makes every other agent jealous of how lucky you are. It’s Agent Kennedy, the one and only. The guy who rescued the president's daughter and basically did other significant things for the government.

But, despite the Leon you know at work, his entire life is a blank page. You know absolutely nothing about him, and he doesn’t care about sharing his personal life details with someone he hates. You noticed a while ago that you are the only person Leon ignores and despises completely, and he avoids talking to you as much as he can, only when it is necessary. And when he opens that pretty mouth of his, it usually contains hateful words.

At this point, you just do your job the way you see fit and come back home safely, not caring about Leon’s arrogant ass.

“You could have killed us!” Leon snaps at you, his entire demeanor showing stress. He can’t avoid grabbing you by your arm and squeezing it tightly, which makes you groan.

“Well, golden boy, at least your ass is intact and here. I’d like to hear a nice ‘thank you’, how about it?” You smirk and tilt your head, and in response, his entire face turns red with anger.

“You’re so fucking immature. Do you think you’ll be lucky for the rest of your life?” He raised his voice, his hand on your arm getting tighter by the second. The expression on your lips didn’t make things easier. “One day, you won’t be that lucky, and you’ll probably drop dead somewhere. I won’t be there to pick up your pieces. Do you want to risk your life? Go ahead, I don’t fucking care, but don’t drag me into your bullshit again. I’m your partner, not your babysitter”

“I’m really surprised you consider me your partner, Kennedy,” you smirk again, and that smirk was enough to infuriate Leon more than he already was.

Leon was on the verge of yelling at you, but the cold expression that quickly went up on his face was enough to make your smirk disappear. You have never seen him like that, it was weird.

“Maybe I should change that,” he hissed with cold and dead eyes, finally letting go of your arm.

“Good luck with that, Kennedy,” you coo, crossing your arms over your chest as you speak.

After saying that, the smile you gave him was enough to make Leon livid. He wanted so badly to take that ironic smile off of your lips, he wished that right now you were a man, so he could definitely teach you a lesson you wouldn’t forget so soon. However, you are the same annoying opposite gender that he hates so much. So, instead of beating the living shit out of you, he just watched you leave, turning in the opposite direction to calm himself down before he did something stupid.

The last mission was very simple: locate and terminate a bioweapon. As you two went there to find the said bioweapon, the entire area was drowning in chaos. The area was isolated to prevent the bioweapon from running away, and alongside you and Leon, there was the entire squad ready to follow your lead.

It should be simple, right? Here's the part where Leon thinks you're completely reckless. Instead of following the standard protocol, you thought it would be best to use yourself as bait and literally explode the entire block. Your stupid plan really worked, and the bioweapon died in the explosion; luckily, you were left with a few scratches and a bleeding ear — which the doctor said wasn't something serious, although you would be “deaf” for a few days from your right side.

So, when you got home, the first thing you actually did was take a nap, which turned out to be deeper than you expected. You slept for twelve hours with your phone in airplane mode so that no one could disturb your sleep. The only thing you weren't counting on was waking up to the distant sounds of someone practically wanting to take your door down. Wearing your cat pajamas, your hair a complete mess, and your face swollen after so many hours sleeping, the last person you thought you would see was Leon.

And he was right there.

“Do you know I’m out of the clock at the moment, right?” you asked him, with a big yawn seconds later. His face wasn't one of the most friendly you've seen.

“Yeah? Do you think I’m here because I want it?” Leon rolls his eyes, sounding annoyed and bored.

“Well, golden boy, if you’re here to yell at me about what happened earlier, I suggest you wait until tomorrow. I’m definitely not in the mood for you,” you said, already closing the door, when Leon suddenly stopped you. “I always thought you were a weirdo, now I’m sure of it. What do you want?”

“Get ready for our new assignment. And try to dress in something more... elegant.” Leon gave you the file from the next mission. Surprised, you started to read the file, and out of nowhere, you started to laugh in disbelief.

“Recently married couple on their honeymoon? Is this some kind of sick joke?” You glanced at him, still laughing nervously at your new disguise with him.

“Trust me, I asked the same question, and unfortunately, that's our new disguise. So, get your ass ready. We’ll be leaving in three hours, Ms. Kennedy,” he said with his Stoic and cold expression as always, giving you a ring made of white gold, which made you think how expensive it was.

“I’m pretty sure our agency wouldn’t give us this type of accessory,” you said to him, taking a good look at the ring he gave you. White gold, with a beautiful sapphire and diamonds carved around the blue stone.

“Don’t be late,” Leon said, ignoring your last commentary. “I’ll be waiting at the airport”

Leon left without looking at your confused expression. You had to read the file at least three times until you finally understood the mission. Leon and you were going to pose as a recently married couple enjoying their honeymoon as you two investigate a famous billionaire that made its own wealth by selling bioweapons in the market. You sighed with the sudden stress, walking towards your room to prepare your bag. After finishing your bag, you caught yourself glancing again at the ring. You were sure the agency wouldn’t give this ring to Leon for a fake marriage. It was something else, but what?

So, one hour later, you drove to the airport. At least this time, you weren’t late, and Leon wouldn’t be making a scene over it. You found him distracted, wearing sunglasses with his leather jacket, his hair shining in the sunlight. Leon seemed very focused on the book he was reading, and it was a big surprise to see him like that, especially because you knew nothing about him.

“So, dear husband, are you ready to go?” you ask, seeing him put his book aside. He looked very beautiful with those sunglasses.

“Yeah, sure.” He nodded, his voice sounding calm instead of the coldness you were used to. You noticed he was wearing his own wedding ring.

“Will you tell me where these came from?” You started to walk next to him, referring yourself to the ring he gave you, hoping it would be a real answer.

“Why do you care? It’s just a ring,” Leon replied, avoiding the subject as much as he could.

“I don’t think it’s just a ring. It has some marks on it, like it was used before.” The egocentric smile on your lips made Leon take a deep breath.

“It was from my mother, okay? It’s the last thing I had from her and my dad before they died. Satisfied?” Leon harshly replied to you, and you knew you had screwed up. You didn’t know about his family, and the way he replied made you realize it was a hard subject.

“I’m sorry, Leon. I didn’t know,” you hissed, feeling your entire face burn with shame.

“Like you care,” he replied in a cold tone, walking away from you towards the airport.

The rest of the flight was absolute silence. Leon didn’t speak with you and had no intention to do so. You felt terrible, but you decided not to show him any feelings; the guy literally hated you, and showing how you felt was the last thing he would believe. So, thinking about all the years of free hate, you decided it was for the best to pretend you didn’t care.

Naturally, pretending that everything was fine was one of your best qualities. You were so good at hiding your own feelings that no one could read you or decipher your emotions.

At the hotel, hours later, you were ready to follow Leon and finish the job. Deep down, you were expecting his coldness and his famous Stoic expression, along with his grumpy humor. However, you were caught off guard when he suddenly took your bags and smiled at you. He was, indeed, a full mystery.

“C’mon, darling. I’ll take your bags for you.” When he said that, you noticed the “recently married couple” game was on. You glance at him and smile broadly, then kiss his cheek.

“Oh, babe, you’re so sweet to me. Thank you,” you said, giving him your bag and walking in front of him like you were some kind of model. Two people could play this game, right?

After the check-in, you two walked between fake laughs until you reached the master bedroom. Leon could pay, and so could you, but you decided to let him play along since it was his mission, and you were just his annoying partner.

“Such a cliché… having one bed,” you sighed at the sight of the master bed in the center of the room.

“We’re married, it should look like that.” Leon rolled his eyes, leaving your bag close to the bed as he analyzed the entire room.

“No, we’re not married. We’re pretending to be,” you said, sitting on the edge of the bed and smirking ironically at him. “And besides, why me? You said you wanted to leave. You could have asked for any other agent”

“Who said I didn't ask?” Leon replied with the same ironic smirk on his lips, sitting on the armchair in front of you.

“And what did they say?” Suddenly, you sounded more upset than your usual sarcastic demeanor. You hope Leon didn’t notice.

“Unfortunately, they can’t give me another partner. Guess I’m stuck with you for God knows how long” He sounded annoyed for a moment, but you chose to ignore it completely.

You decided you needed a bath. You took a few clothes from your bag and decided to “play” with him. Not only that, but you removed your clothes in front of him, sensually, trying to get some reaction from him. When you glanced at Leon, he was hard.

“What are you doing?” he asked, and you noticed he was breathing heavily. Now he was nervous, and it wasn't anger.

“We are married. I guess this is what wives do in front of their husbands.” You wink at him, making your way to the bathroom wearing nothing but your lingerie.

Leon was completely speechless. You could see him swallowing harder, his Adam’s apple going up and down faster. The devilish smile on your lips didn’t make things easier for him, either. It took a lot of strength from him to look anywhere else but you. Leon was clearly uncomfortable and nervous.

“You know, if you want this mission to succeed, you must pretend you don’t hate me. And for that, you need to trust me, Kennedy. I know you despise my methods, and I know you’re anxious to get rid of me, and honestly, I don’t really give a shit about your teenage behavior,” you said from the bathroom, wrapping your now naked body around a white towel and opening the door again so you could see him. “So, I promise I’ll try my best to not screw everything up. Just try not to act like the asshole you are usually whenever you’re with me”

“Oh, I’m the asshole now.” Leon finally seemed to wake up from his own trance, and his expression suddenly changed from Stoic to aggressive. "You've acted like a complete jerk since the first day we started to work together, and according to you, I’m the asshole here? You should look at yourself in the mirror, sweetheart”

“Then why did you stay here with me this entire time? You could have split a long time ago, golden boy,” you say, crossing your arms in your chest, not intimidated by his behavior.

“I told you. They won’t put me with another agent. I’m stuck with you, and trust me, I wish I could have left a very long time ago,” Leon replied coldly, his blue eyes almost icy with the way he was staring at you.

But instead of your silence, you caught him off guard.

“I know you’re lying. If you snap your fingers, they will do everything you want. You just have to ask, since you’re their golden boy. They freaking love you, Kennedy, and there’s nothing they wouldn't do to please you. Don’t bullshit me,” you said, walking slowly towards him and hissing, your eyes shining with sarcasm.

But Leon didn’t give you an answer. Instead, he took his leather jacket and left the room without saying something. You decided to calm yourself down and go straight for a bath, enjoying the candles and their arousal. After what seemed to be a long time in the tub, you left the tub and wrapped the towel around your body; the room was still empty, and you couldn't care less about Leon. If he wanted to act like a pampered kid, that was his problem, not yours.

You enjoyed the time alone to do your skin care routine, and decided to take care of your own body as well. It was almost eight when the phone inside your room started to ring.

“Ms. Kennedy, I’m sorry to interrupt, but your husband seems to be causing quite a scene in the hotel bar. I might have to ask you to pick him up; otherwise, I’ll have to ask security to take care of him,” the person on the other side says to you, and immediately, you sighed.

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, I’ll go get him right now. Thank you,” you said, forcing the most sweet tone of voice you could at the moment.

You left the room thinking about ending Leon. He could definitely jeopardize the entire mission with his behavior, and this was unacceptable. When you found him in the bar, he was, indeed, causing a big scene. Leon was screaming and scaring the rest of the guests, and there were at least three security guards next to him.

“Leon, darling, come on. You've had enough,” you said, approaching him and touching his shoulder softly.

“Are you his wife?” one of the security guards asks you with a serious expression. You couldn’t blame the man, he was only doing his job.

“Yes, and I am really sorry for my husband. I guess he’s just too carried away…” you said with the calmest tone of voice you could, trying your best to hold him tight.

“Ma’am, you need to control him. He made a lot of mess in the bar.” The other looked severely at you, with an angry expression.

“I’m here, aren’t I? Don’t worry about the trouble, we can pay for the inconvenience,” you replied in a harsh tone. Suddenly, Leon threw up, and his vomit fell on the floor. “And we can pay for that too”

“Suck on that, fuckers!” Leon smiled before you dragged him back to your room.

In the silence of the hallway, Leon had a lot of difficulty walking properly. He was stumbling on his feet and saying incoherent things in your ear. You never saw him like that, and it was pretty weird being his babysitter. You wanted to kill him, but he couldn’t even stand, and possibly wouldn’t remember a thing the next day.

“I hate you,” you muttered, dragging him across the hallway towards your room.

“Why do you hate me?” Leon asks, his mouth smelling of alcohol and his words confused. “Am I not good enough?”

“Where is this coming from?” You raised both of your eyebrows in visible confusion. Finally, you reached the room and unlocked the door, dragging Leon into the bathroom.

“I tried… to be enough… I know I’m an asshole, but… I’m scared of being hurt again, and… I push people away from me… but you’re so different…” he says between drunken hiccups, which is almost funny, but completely unexpected. “I've liked you since the first time I saw you, and… and…” Leon throws up again in the toilet, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, before looking at you again. You were completely speechless.

“I think you need a bath,” you muttered, still shocked by his words. Your hands were shaking, and for a moment, you had no idea what you should do.

“No… I… I need to finish this because I don’t know when I’ll have the balls to do so again…” Leon grabs you tightly, not wanting to let go of you. Biting your lower lip, you nodded. “I know I said I hate you, but… but that’s not true. I only did that because… because I was scared and thought you would reject me… so I started to act like an asshole… I’m so sorry”

“It’s okay… I should be sorry too, I didn’t make things easier for you since day one” you said to him, sounding more kind than you usually are. He won’t remember this conversation, you are sure of it.

“I feel complete trash… I should’ve just… asked you instead of acting like an asshole…” Leon said this between other rounds of drunken hiccups. He’s pretty wasted.

And before this conversation could end in another way, you decided to give him a cold bath. You didn’t remove his clothes, and he complained a lot when he felt the cold water on him. After that, you had to change his clothes, and when Leon saw you touching him, he turned hard again, although he was too drunk to even be ashamed. You had trouble laying him on the bed, but he didn’t struggle against you.

“I love you,” he whispers before falling asleep.

The next morning, you decided to leave Leon alone for a while. You couldn’t explain to him what happened the night before because you were too shocked to say something. “I love you,” he said, and his words made a home in your head. How was that even possible?

Leon Kennedy, the guy who hated you with his entire being, said he loved you. He was drunk, and he probably didn’t mean any of those words. Maybe he was just playing a game with you, maybe that wasn’t true. However… drunk people tend to say things they usually wouldn’t say. So, there was a remote possibility that he was, indeed, telling the truth. How could you believe him?

“Fuck… what happened?” Leon asks you when he woke up, squeezing his eyes. He had a terrible headache.

“You got drunk last night and caused a lot of trouble in the bar,” you said, throwing at him a small, transparent bag with painkillers.

“Shit, I can’t remember anything. My head hurts like crazy.” Leon looks at you, and you can see the effects of the hangover on his face.

“Glad one of us has commitment to the job,” you said, sounding harsher than you wanted to be. Leon looks at you again, but completely confused this time.

“What did I say?” he asks, and then, as you can notice, he sounds more desperate. If it were at another time, you would definitely take advantage of it, but his words echoed in your head again.

“Nothing important. Just regular drunk stuff,” you say, shaking your shoulders, avoiding the subject that was hammering your head.

"Fine.” He nods his head and stands up, walking to the bathroom.

His words were floating in your head, and it was hard not to think about what happened the other night. At this point, you had no idea how you would finish the mission. Not with his words hammering in your head, penetrating your chest, and making you feel things you really don’t want to.

You hate Leon Kennedy and everything he made you feel.

He comes out of the bathroom, and he has a towel wrapped around his waist. The sight you had of him, all muscular, his body sculpted by the gods, walking like that in his own glory. It made your stomach twitch. You felt your face burning, and right now, you wanted to dissipate from the earth.

“We have a meeting in one hour.” You had to find a lot of strength inside you to not stare at his chest when you spoke to him.

“Can you go alone? I’m not really in perfect condition.” Leon sits on the bed, looking at you. He seems to not realize what’s happening. You, in response, shake your head.

“No, I can’t. Since we’re married, you need to come with me. It sucks, huh?” you replied with a cold smile, looking at him with dead eyes.

“Jesus, you’re really a pain in the ass,” he says in a deep breath, reaching for the painkillers.

You decided to ignore his commentary and get ready for the day. According to your new schedule, the man you two went to investigate would be in a meeting and then head to the restaurant. It was the perfect opportunity. You decided to wear a short black dress, making your thighs visible, and a V-neckline, showing a little of your breasts.

"Fuck” Leon mutters when he sees you, and you can notice he’s a little nervous. Maybe he’s starting to remember what he did last night.

“What?” you ask him, raising both of your eyebrows.

“I can’t find my phone,” he replies angrily, looking the entire room over to find his phone.

“It’s in the drawer.” You rolled your eyes, finishing with the makeup and your hair. Leon sighed in relief when he finally found his phone. “You’re welcome”

He took a few minutes until he finished getting ready. Leon was wearing a navy blue shirt, black shorts, and sunglasses, the same ones he was using at the airport. He was looking very beautiful, but you decided to keep your thoughts to yourself.

“Ready?” he finally asks you, looking at you with some curiosity. You nodded, grabbing your purse and walking next to him outside the room.

The hotel’s restaurant was filled with the clinking of cutlery and the low murmur of conversations. Leon and you decided to sit across from each other at a small, intimate table, your gazes scanning the room for any sign of your target.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soft jazz playing in the background provided a calming facade to the tension that lingered between them. Leon, with disheveled hair and a pair of sunglasses that only partially hid the evidence of a rough night, rubbed his temples and winced.

"Ugh, I think I might die. I can't believe you dragged me into this after last night. I swear, my head is splitting." he muttered, pretending to be reading the menu.

"This is a mission, Leon, not a vacation. You knew what you signed up for when you took that last shot. Now, pull yourself together. We need to find our guy, and your hangover isn't helping." you shot him a withering look, your eyes sharp beneath a cascade of your hair

"I just don't get why we couldn't have rescheduled this. I mean, who plans a stakeout the morning after an undercover party? It's like the universe is against me." Leon leaned back in his chair, wincing at the light filtering through the bistro's window.

"We don't have the luxury of rescheduling. This is our best chance to catch him off guard, and we can't afford any mistakes. Your lack of professionalism could jeopardize the entire mission. So, get over yourself and focus." You clenched your jaw, your frustration evident.

Leon sighed, realizing he had hit a nerve. He straightened up and took off his sunglasses, revealing bloodshot eyes.

"Fine, fine. I get it. No more complaints. Let's just eat and keep an eye out for our guy. Maybe the food will cure this hangover from hell." he said, waving his hand at the waitress.

"Good. We need to stay sharp. Our target is slippery, and we can't afford to miss any signs. Just remember, we're a married couple on a lunch date. Act natural." you nodded, your stern expression softening slightly.

As the minutes went by, the restaurant was an oasis of calm, its subdued lighting and plush furnishings a stark contrast to the pounding headache Leon was nursing.

Besides his mood and his complaints about the headache, you were the one who maintained a professional demeanor. However, your patience was wearing thin. The clinking of silverware and muted conversations formed a backdrop to your undercover mission.

"Can we make this quick? My head feels like it's about to split open." Leon winced, massaging his temples after minutes in silence.

"You brought this upon yourself, Leon. You can't let your personal life interfere with the mission. We have a job to do." You shot him a disapproving glance.

"I didn't expect last night to turn into a frat party. It was supposed to be a simple gathering." Leon sighed, regret etched on his face.

"Well, you should have thought about that before you started to behave like a pampered kid. But guess what, Kennedy? We can't change that now. We're on a timeline, and we can't afford mistakes. So, suck it up and focus." your eyes narrowed, your tone of voice sounding angry. I love you, his words, still echoing in the back of your head,

As he perused the menu, Leon's eyes flickered across the room, and he stiffened.

"There he is," he muttered, nodding discreetly toward your target who had just entered the restaurant.

"Perfect timing, Leon. Just what we needed." your gaze followed Leon's, and you cursed under your breath.

You two ordered quickly, your argument temporarily set aside as you two maintained the appearance of a normal, albeit slightly disgruntled, married couple. The target settled at a nearby table, engaged in conversation with an associate. As your food arrived, Leon's hangover-induced irritability resurfaced.

"Can we at least eat in peace before we tail him? I'm not in the mood for this undercover drama." he complains again.

"Your mood doesn't matter. We need to catch this guy. Finish your food quickly, and we'll tail him discreetly." you shot him a stern look.

Leon grumbled but complied, glancing over his shoulder at the target. The argument simmered beneath the surface, waiting for the opportune moment to erupt. As the two of you left the restaurant, the hangover weighed heavily on Leon, intensifying his annoyance. You kept your voice low as you two trailed the target through the hotel's corridors.

"Leon, I don't care about your hangover. We can argue later. Right now, we need to focus on the mission." you sharply told him in annoyance.

Leon shot back, his tone sharp, "Well, maybe if you were a bit more understanding, we wouldn't have to argue at all. This headache is killing me."

You shot him a pointed look but decided to let it go for the moment as you two approached the front desk to inquire about your room. The target was believed to be staying on one of the upper floors, and obviously, you two needed to gather information without raising suspicion. As you stepped into the elevator, Leon swayed slightly, earning a disapproving glance from you. The elevator doors closed, and Leon muttered:

"I'll be fine. Let's just get this over with."

The doors opened to a corridor adorned with plush carpeting and dimmed lights. You and Leon maintained their cover, acting the part of the honeymooning couple as you two made your way down the hall. Just as the both of you reached the door to the suspected target's room, a sudden chill crept up Leon's spine.

A group of imposing figures, undoubtedly the target's security detail, emerged from the elevator behind you. Your eyes widened as you discreetly tugged on Leon's arm, directing his attention to the unexpected threat.

"Leon, we've got company," you whispered urgently.

“Well, sweetheart, you won’t like this” Leon said, turning himself to you.

“What-”

Before you could even speak, you felt his lips crushing against yours. Something about his kiss made you feel something inside your chest. The taste of alcohol mixed with mint, the way his tongue danced inside your mouth, it was something you never felt and tasted before.

Leon tilted your chin upward, creating the perfect illusion of a stolen moment between two infatuated lovers. The security guards, momentarily thrown off by the unexpected display, hesitated in their approach. You felt him break the kiss, your eyes meeting with a shared understanding.

“That was close” he whispers, holding your hand as you two walk together in the corridor.

But you were left without any words. His kiss caught you completely off guard and for some stupid reason, you felt your legs were failing you. Something about the way Leon's lips pressed against yours sparked an internal conflict. His kiss was not one of disdain; it was fervent, almost desperate. In that moment, the line between pretense and reality blurred, and you found yourself torn between the mission and your own conflicting emotions.

As you walked in silence next to him, the tension between you two became palpable. Leon, ever the professional, maintained his stoic expression, his eyes scanning the horizon for any potential threats, even with the hangover state. You, on the other hand, couldn't shake off the unease that accompanied you every step. You stole a glance at Leon, his features carved in light of the hallway.

Suddenly, the tranquility of the night shattered as a series of sharp cracks pierced the air. Bullets whizzed past you two, sparking against the cobblestone streets. You and Leon instinctively dove behind the cover of a wall as the realization hit — you two were the targets now.

"Move!" Leon shouted over the chaos, grabbing your arm and propelling you forward.

The rhythmic staccato of gunfire followed you two, echoing through the maze of narrow alleys. The assailants were relentless, shadows in pursuit, fueled by an unseen vendetta. You two sprinted through the labyrinthine corridors, your breaths mingling with the desperate echoes of your footfalls. Leon's mind raced, analyzing escape routes and potential hiding spots. You, feeling your heart pounding, cast glances over your shoulder, your instincts sharp as you matched Leon's every move.

The honeymoon facade shattered as the two agents sprinted down the corridor, bullets whizzing past the two of you. Panic and urgency replaced the hangover-induced haze in Leon's mind. You two reached a stairwell, taking it two steps at a time, the footsteps drowned out by the chaos unfolding behind you.

As you two burst onto a lower floor, you spotted an emergency exit. Without hesitation, you burst through the door, finding yourselves in a garden. The adrenaline-fueled escape continued through the green labyrinthine surrounding the hotel, leaving the luxurious facade behind as you and Leon navigated the maze, chased by both the consequences of the cover being blown and the remnants of the security detail.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

Apparently, the said billionaire found out about the two of you, and now, Leon and you had to run somewhere else safe, leaving all your belongings in the hotel. There were gunshots everywhere, and you had to fight for your dear life, protecting you and Leon with a marble statue as a form of barricade to prevent being shot.

“This isn’t how I expected my honeymoon to be,” Leon muttered, shooting one of the security guards.

“This isn’t a honeymoon either,” you replied, firing your gun at the guard, killing him with a perfect headshot. “We are not even married”

“Well, this isn’t how I imagined it, anyway. We need to get out, Ms. Kennedy,” Leon said, offering his hand to you, which you took without thinking twice. You started to run, with Leon covering your back.

You could hear the security guards running after you, two more gunshots. Likewise, you ran for your life, not daring to look behind you, knowing Leon was right behind you, making sure you were protected, which was very odd, considering the history between the two of you.

At the moment, it's the last thing you're worried about. After a few minutes of running, you managed to escape the guards and find a place to hide. You were breathing heavily, and shaking.

“Are you okay?” Leon asks you, looking at the direction you two came from.

“Why do you care?” you simply replied, coughing a little as you tried to catch your breath.

“Do you think I don’t remember what I said last night? C’mon, I might be a drunk asshole, but I don’t forget things easily.” Leon glanced at you, which was more sympathetic than usual.

“This isn’t fair. You can’t say things like that after treating me like garbage for years,” you snapped at him, finally letting your feelings go without any shame. “You can’t say you love me, and the next day you can’t barely look at my face. You can’t say you love me when the only thing that comes from your mouth is hate and disgust. This isn’t fair, and you can’t play like that with me”

After saying that, you decided to walk yourself out and leave Leon alone. Who the hell did he think he was? He had no right to play with your feelings like that. You were so angry at him for throwing that on your shoulders with no responsibility.

Besides, you had important things to deal with, not his bullshit. Your hands were shaking like crazy, and you realized that you had no control over your feelings, and this was very dangerous, especially in your line of work. You needed to calm yourself down, and you needed to do it fast.

Hours later, everything was quiet. Leon was nowhere to be seen, because you didn’t notice when he went missing in the first place, and you couldn't care less about him. It was obviously a stupid idea to try to get back to the hotel, knowing it would be heavily secured after what happened earlier. But, somehow, you felt something very wrong.

The gunshot noises out there were exactly what you didn’t want to hear. You heard screams and loud voices, and immediately, your hand fell to your gun. You heard footsteps, and by the sound, you knew this person was supporting his body weight on his left leg, and was limping heavily. When you were about to attack, it was him.

“What the hell?” you gasped in shock, seeing him limping and, of course, injured.

“I tried to get our comms back” he whimpered almost quietly, as you helped him sit down. He was breathing heavily, his hand pressing tightly on his ribs. “But, as you can see, it didn’t go well.”

“And you say I'm reckless, right?” you muttered, trying to see the size of the damage on him, although he whined again. “You could've died in there, asshole”

“Now I understand why you do things this way,” Leon chuckles, but then he groans in pain, his grip on his ribs getting tight. “It’s way more fun”

“Fun? Are you out of your mind, Kennedy?” you snapped at him. If Leon wasn’t injured at the moment, you would definitely beat the living shit out of him. “I don’t do things like that for fun!”

“Keep your voice down, sweetheart. I don’t want to get back home inside a coffin,” Leon said, as he pressed his hand on your mouth to keep you quiet. In the sudden silence, you were able to hear more footsteps, and Leon kept pressing his hand on your mouth. A few minutes later, everything went silent again.

“I’m not… okay” he mutters, and his eyes meet yours. Blue like the ocean. And then, you finally see the blood spot on his shirt — the same spot he was trying to hide from you. “I’m sorry”

“I swear to God, if you dare to die on me, I’ll personally kill you, Kennedy,” you replied, and then you started to press his wound to prevent him from bleeding to a certain death.

But he smiled. It was a faint smile, but he was really smiling at you. You saw him raise his hand, and he touched your hair, moving the strands that fell on your face. The way he was looking at you, so sad and weak, it was like he was saying goodbye.

“You look so... beautiful.” His voice seems weak, and his breath starts to become more shallow. “I guess… this is what angels look like”

“C’mon, Leon, don’t you dare die on me,” you said as you noticed yourself getting more anxious by the second.

He smiled again and kept looking at you with those beautiful blue eyes. Slowly, he started to close his eyes, and his breath got more shallow, indicating he was losing consciousness. The more you tried to keep him awake, the more he seemed lost. You were slowly losing him.

“Condor One! Condor Two,” someone called you two. It was your squad.

“We’re here” you shouted at them, your hands filled with Leon’s blood as you waved at your squad. “He’s injured and losing a lot of blood”

“Don’t worry, we’re taking you two,” the leader said as the team approached you with medical equipment.

You couldn’t describe the stress you felt with everything that happened in the meantime. Did you two succeed in the mission? Was it over? You couldn’t know. Not until you were sure Leon was safe and sound.

From the helicopter, you could see the sirens, the local police, and the agents from the government. It was almost unbelievable, but it was true. The operation was a success, after all. You glanced at Leon. He was sleeping, or at least he seemed to be.

You tried to rest, but it seemed unreachable. Your body was electric, filled with constant energy that prevented you from closing your eyes. You wanted to sleep badly, but your concern about him was enough to keep you awake. When the helicopter finally landed at the hospital heliport, Leon was immediately taken into surgery. As for you, you had no other option but to wait.

Hours later, you had no news about him, and the anxiety was eating you alive from the inside. At this point, your body was less tense than before, and the first signs of stress and tiredness were finally showing up. You were sitting in a chair, in an empty white hallway, waiting. The hours seemed to slip through your fingers, slowly.

You sighted a kid playing with a purple teddy bear, and for a moment, you started to wonder about the life you led. The choices you made and how you ended up in your job. It was weird to think that while other people had normal lives, you had to risk yours every day, to make sure they would live in a safe world.

It sounded selfish to think like that, but you had every reason to do so since you couldn’t have a normal life. That word didn’t exist in your dictionary. Nor in your days.

Then, you see yourself playing with Leon’s mother's ring on your finger. For a brief moment, you imagined how your life would be if you were married and raising kids. Then, you push away these thoughts; motherhood isn’t your style, not even a married life.

“Ms. Kennedy?” you hear the doctor call you, and the sound of Leon’s surname addressed to you like you were his real wife makes your heart ache.

“Is he okay?” Your voice sounded more hoarse than you thought it would, a small consequence of being silent for so long. The look on the doctor’s face said there wasn’t good news.

“Your husband has lost a lot of blood, but we managed to stop the bleeding, and the surgery went well. Our main concern is with his brain injury…” The doctor pauses for a brief moment, wondering how to tell you the next news. “But, unfortunately, he’s in a coma.”

The news came at you like a violent wave. Suddenly, the world around you stopped, and you couldn't hear anything else. Your eyes were wide open, your chest was burning and aching, and for some stupid reason, you didn’t want to believe those words. How could Leon be in a coma? It was your thing to play reckless, he had no right to leave you like this.

You saw the doctor talking to you, but you couldn’t hear anything; everything around you was running slowly. What the hell was he saying? His lips moved slowly, just like the rest of the entire world, but you managed to understand: he was asking you if you were okay or if you needed something.

You felt like you were drowning, unable to reach the surface, surrounded by darkness. You wanted to scream and cry, but you couldn’t. You felt trapped by an invisible force, holding you tight and keeping you shut.

It was the sight of Chris that made you turn back to reality, and finally, the scream that was trapped in your throat came out from the core of your lungs.

“It’s okay, I got you,” Redfield said quickly as he held you before you fell to the ground. Your legs were shaking just like the rest of your body. “It’s okay”

“It was my fault, Chris.” Your voice was muffled by desperate chokes and sobs. “He’s in a coma, and it’s my fault”

“It’s not your fault, okay? It could’ve happened to you or him. Leon knows what he does, and I’m sure he did that to protect you" Chris tries his best to comfort you, although it seems impossible at the moment. He still holds you tight, for which you are very grateful, because you know you’ll fall if he lets you go.

Leon had no one in his life. You knew that the moment he told you about the ring. The “family” he had consisted of Chris and Claire, Jill, and Rebecca. You had no room for this. Leon made that pretty clear years ago, but now everything is different. You had to tell everyone what went wrong, how he got injured, and why it ended like that. You had to describe the entire mission, you had to remember everything. Now you were sitting again, with Claire holding your hand, while Jill and Chris were talking with Rebecca. Your eyes were locked on your hands, still stained with his blood. You were completely shocked, with no reaction or words.

“He’ll wake up, I know he will,” Claire whispers as a way to comfort you and give you kind words.

“He said he loves me,” you managed to say, although you doubted Claire would hear it. You wanted to hold onto something real, that would help you deal with what was happening.

“He always did, I’m glad he finally told you that,” Claire said, and you were a little surprised she heard you. More surprised to hear something you thought would never exist.

“But I don’t think that’s true. He always hated me.” You finally look at her, your eyes seeing something different from the dried blood in your hands.

“Do you think Leon is capable of hating you? He’s so in love with you, he can’t even hide it,” Claire said, and then she smiled largely while holding your hands.

But you find it hard to believe those words. Your mind was conflicted between what Claire was saying and what Leon said before he fainted. You wanted desperately to believe it, but deep down, you weren't sure. You finally received authorization to see him, with the benefit of being his “wife” and a government agent, but when you stepped inside his room, seeing all those loud machines around his body and a giant bandage on his ribs, his clothes were perfectly folded in the chair. His skin was pale and cold to the touch. He was almost lifeless, and seeing him like that made you sob again.

“I’m sorry… I never wanted to see you hurt,” you muttered, hoping he would hear it. You held his hand, praying he would wake up. “If you can hear me, then come back to us... I miss you fighting with me”

But there was nothing — not even a small squeeze on your hand. You were trying to convince yourself that he heard you and that he was coming back to you, and that was the lie you were desperately trying to believe. How silly you were. How desperate and pathetic you felt. It could be days, weeks, months, or years, how could you possibly predict when he would wake up? It was up to him.

“You won’t get rid of me that easily, Kennedy,” you said last, as a single tear fell from your eye. You wanted to be brave for him.

And as an answer, he squeezed your hand weakly.

Three months later.

“Goddammit, this hurts!” Leon groaned angrily at you when you tried to remove the bandage from his ribs to clean it.

“Stop moving, asshole,” you said back, glancing at him and then rolling your eyes. “Then it won’t hurt”

“You’re so fucking gentle,” he muttered, taking a deep breath. You waited until he stopped moving so you could change the bandage.

“Hey, I’m not the one with open wounds,” you teased him, then finished removing the bandage, being extra careful with the stitches on his skin.

“How does it look?” Leon asks with a soft voice. You noticed that he never actually looked at the wound.

“Terrible, but healing,” you smiled kindly at him, cleaning around the wound with the antiseptic and the wet cotton. You saw his skin chilling, and soft groans coming from his mouth.

Leon hated seeing his scars. He hated having them; he hated knowing what caused them, which was why he barely sees himself in the mirror; he avoids his own image. One month ago, Leon woke up from his coma, and although he was very confused, at first, due to his brain injury, he had no memories of the mission or what happened before he got hurt. Chris had to explain everything to him like he was a toddler learning how to communicate.

“So… that was it,” Chris tells him, after explaining why he was in a hospital bed with a huge wound on his ribs.

“Shit… I’m tired,” Leon muttered, closing his eyes for a moment and trying to relax his beaten-up body on the bed. “Two months?”

“Yep. You slept like a baby,” Chris chuckled, making fun of the situation to lighten up his mood.

“Where is…” Leon started, as it seems pretty obvious that you weren’t there with Chris.

“Oh…” The smile on Chris’s lips disappeared slowly, and he became more serious, sitting more appropriately on the chair. “Well, um…”

For some unknown reason, Leon was anxious. He didn’t know why, but he felt eager to know why you weren’t there with him; he was sure he heard you say you missed him fighting with you, but at this point, he wasn’t sure if it was a dream or reality. And the way Chris kept looking at him made his heart beat ten thousand times faster. When Chris was about to tell Leon about you, someone knocked on the door, and when the person came inside, Leon felt disappointed to see it was a nurse with his medication.

“Mr. Redfield, you’ll have to leave now. The visiting hour ended a few minutes ago, and the patient needs to rest,” the nurse says, leaving the tray with Leon’s medication on his bedside table. Leon sighed, glancing at the window, while he laid his head on his pillow to rest.

“Before I go… I want you to have this,” Chris said, getting closer to his bed with something in his hand. Leon glanced back, curious. When Chris opened his hand, Leon saw his mother’s ring, and he felt sad. “You know, she was here with you the entire time”

“Then why is she not here now?” Leon asks, holding the ring in his hand and avoiding Chris’s gaze.

“Give time to time,” Redfield said before leaving his room.

Leon hated being in the hospital with different wires connected to his body. Nurses checked on him constantly, asking a lot of questions, taking him through thousands of exams to see if he was doing better or worse, and doing physiotherapy. They said the brain injury had damaged his body, and, besides the wound on his ribs, Leon had broken his arm and would have a disability in walking and doing normal things. Of course, with the proper therapy, he would walk again and have a normal life, but he needed to cooperate.

Leon had already convinced himself you didn’t care, but on the third week after he woke up, he was taken into another exam. One hour later, when he came back to his room, he found you asleep on the chair, wrapped around your jumper, seeming tired to the bones. The nurse helped him lay back on his bed, and he remained silent, just watching you sleep. He wanted to keep every detail about you, even the small ones. Suddenly, you moved on the chair and woke up, yawning. Nothing he had rehearsed in his head prepared him for this moment.

He had given up on hope, he thought you would never see him again. Maybe you had found another partner, or maybe you had moved on with your life. Perhaps you just didn’t care about him. Maybe and more maybe…

"Hey,” you said, noticing he was too shocked to even pronounce a word. “How are you?”

“Fine, I guess,” he managed to say, and he wanted to punch himself because he sounded very rude. “That’s not what I meant…”

But, to his surprise, you just smiled. Chris told you about his amnesia, he told you that Leon wouldn’t be able to walk for a long time because of the damage to his brain from the injury. You were hoping he didn’t remember what happened before he fainted that day. It would be easier for both of you.

“I came here because Chris told me you woke up, I wasn’t in the country, so…” you said, feeling your cheeks blush a little. He nodded quietly, and the expression on his face told you he was sad. “I had to finish our last mission. Do you remember anything?”

“Not so much, everything is a little messed up, and every time I try to remember something, my head hurts,” he says, taking a deep breath and laying his head on the pillow again. “I remember me in front of your apartment telling you about our mission; I remember giving you my mother’s ring; and the fight we had at the airport… I remember a few things from the hotel we were at, but nothing more… Sometimes I have a few flashbacks. I remember getting hurt trying to get our comms back, breaking my arm, but..."

“It’s okay, don’t force yourself. You know you’ll remember eventually,” you said to him, trying to give some comfort. “You’re alive and recovering, that’s all that matters now, Leon”

“It sucks being here… I want to go home, but people keep telling me I’m better here and that medical bullshit,” he sighs, then he looks outside his window again.

“About that… I’m here to offer something,” you said to him, already thinking it would be a terrible idea.

“What would that be?” he asks you, raising both of his eyebrows in a slightly curious tone.

“Come live with me…” you simply said, shaking both of your shoulders like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Until you recover, of course”

At first, having him live with you proved to be a difficult task, mostly because Leon thought he was a burden and strongly avoided his appointments. In his head, he could treat himself alone, he could take care of his wounds and do the chores in the house. However, he could barely leave the bed, and he complained every time you tried to convince him to attend his appointments. Even Chris tried to coax him into getting out of the house, but Leon refused like a pampered kid. It was very difficult.

“You know I can’t do everything on my own, right?” you asked him after finishing changing and cleaning the wound on his rib.

“I know, but… I’m sorry,” he says with a deep sigh, looking at you with guilt. “I know I’m making this more difficult than it should be…”

“It’s not your fault, but I really need you to understand that sometimes even the toughest agent needs help. You can’t avoid medical care forever, Leon,” you said, looking straight into his eyes.

“I’m an asshole, right?” He managed to smile a little, then he looked at you. “I never thanked you for taking care of me”

“What can I say? You didn’t make things easier, either.” You smiled at him, looking into his blue eyes.

“I have something I need to tell you,” Leon whispers, then bites his lower lip and avoids your eyes.

“Shoot me”

“I… remember what happened… before the coma. I remember the mission,” he says, finally taking the courage to look into your eyes. You decided to stay calm, but not cold. “I was scared, I never thought I would almost die… but then you were there with me, and I felt at peace”

“Why did you give me your mother’s ring?” you decided to ask. You needed to understand.

“Because it was personal, I wanted you to have something personal from me… I knew one day I would come close to death trying to get your ass out of danger, and I thought you would feel better having something mine,” he explained, and then, everything made sense. He truly cared about you.

“You’re such a fucking idiot, Kennedy.” You smiled at him, then you laughed.

“Hey… what’s wrong? Are you okay?” you asked after knocking on his door. He glanced at you, his eyes swollen after crying for God knows how long.

This entire month that you took care of him was enough to learn how to read him. Before, he was pure mystery — the person who hated you the most. Now you know when he’s happy, angry, or uncomfortable. You know how to decipher him, read his face, and understand how he feels.

Leon still sleeps in the guest’s room, but sometimes you can hear him wince and cry, and sometimes you can hear him sobbing. You woke up to the sound of him crying and decided to finally ask. You had been wondering for weeks, thinking he wouldn’t talk about this subject. But you needed to try it, anyway.

“I… it’s nothing, I’m okay,” he said, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes.

“C’mon, you can talk to me. We’re friends now,” you say again, sitting on the edge of his bed and smiling.

“It’s just a silly nightmare…” Leon whispers softly, looking at his arm plaster. You had signed your name on it, followed by Chris, Claire, Jill, and Rebecca. “It’s Raccoon City. The same night over and over again”

“You were there? I’m surprised,” you said to him, and he smirked slightly.

“I was a rookie cop, late as hell on my first day. I had recently graduated from the Police Academy,” Leon explains, gazing at the ceiling, then at you again. “I survived that night, met Claire, saved Sherry… then, they forced me to work for them, and here I am”

“Forced? What do you mean?” You raised your eyebrows, confused.

“It was a deal I made to keep Sherry safe… I never told this to anyone,” Leon whispers, and you imagine how cruel it was for him to be forced to work all those years for the government. “How about you? How did you end up being an agent?”

“Before the government, I was in the army. Special Forces. I worked with Task 141 across the earth, until I decided to leave before things went to shit” you tell Leon, which makes him glance at you completely surprised. “I miss my buddies Price, Roach, Soap, and Ghost”

“It’s so weird to think how our lives were different… I was forced to join the government, you decided to do it for yourself…” Leon whispers, analyzing his own choices in life. “Now I can truly understand why you work the way you do…”

“I made a lot of bad choices, I’ll admit that. But after everything I did in the past… you actually get used to your own method of working,” you say to him, hugging your legs. “Maybe that’s why I do things the way I do. I like the adrenaline and danger that come with it”

“I’m sorry for calling you reckless,” Leon said after a brief moment of silence.

“That’s okay, trust me. I've heard worse things before,” you chuckled.

Leon seemed more calm, although his eyes were still red and swollen. You heard the first drops of rain hitting his window, and the noise of the lightning outside announced the rain. For a moment, there was only silence between the two of you.

“I hate this stupid arm plaster,” Leon suddenly says, and then you laugh.

“But there are our names signed on it. And I made a drawing when you were asleep” You showed him the drawing you made. It was a cat and a few flowers.

“Flowers? Really?” Leon frowned, glancing at you.

His last appointment provided good news. His ribs seemed to be healing, and soon he would be able to remove the arm plaster. After the appointment, you drove Leon to his physiotherapy session, and for the first time after he woke up from the coma, he finally decided to cooperate with himself. For some unknown reason, he wasn’t grumpy today.

“What? They’re cute!” you protested while laughing at his reaction. “But I’m serious, you need to sleep now. Tomorrow you have that physiotherapy session and an appointment”

“Well, if you keep doing home exercises, soon you’ll be fully recovered,” the doctor tells him, sitting in front of you two.

“Home exercises?” Leon asks, looking briefly at you, knowing you would definitely force him to do his exercises.

“Yes. It’ll help ease the pain and help with your mobility.” She nods, noting something on the paper. “And, most important, you can’t avoid your appointments, Mr. Kennedy”

“Yeah… I’ll keep coming,” he said, his entire face red as a tomato.

When you drove him back home, he certainly wasn’t expecting a surprise from your little family. Claire, Rebecca and Jill decorated your entire apartment, while Chris went to buy food and drinks. Because of the thousands of pills he was taking, Leon wasn’t allowed to drink any alcohol, which you gladly thanked him for. He was better sober than drunk.

The smile on his lips and the way his eyes were shining were more than he could put into words. You noticed that Claire even bought party letter decorations that were hanging from your ceiling, with the sentence ‘Happy Birthday, Leon’ in blue and yellow.

“Come on, you guys gotta be kidding me” he laughs with happiness, hugging everyone carefully.

“What? You really thought we would forget your birthday, golden boy?” you tease him, drinking soda and giving him one cup.

“This is… amazing” Leon seemed lost in his own words. “I don’t deserve you guys”

After singing him the birthday song, you guys celebrated his birthday with those blue birthday hats and a special cake the girls baked for him. Chris was talking to him, while you and Rebecca were chatting about types of coffee. Jill and Claire seemed to be very focused on their own conversation about TerraSave.

“Guys… I wanted to thank everyone. I know sometimes I’m a pain in the ass, but after everything that happened to me in the past three months, I have a lot to thank for… especially you.” Leon glances at you with shyness. “You took me into your home, took care of me, and had to hear every stupid joke I made, even my grumpy humor”

“That was the hard part, believe me,” you say, winking at him, which makes everyone laugh.

“I know. I was a jerk, and we had a lot of arguments with each other, but recently I found out that…” he paused for a moment, certainly thinking about what to say. “Life can be shitty sometimes, and bad things can happen to us… and this last mission made me see things I thought would never happen to me. I nearly died, but I got a second chance, and I don’t intend to waste it”

You knew exactly what he was talking about. Living with him for the past three months proved to be an interesting task. You knew him, and that was enough. Hours later, it was only you and him, sitting on your couch as the rain struck against the window. The fireplace gives off a warm temperature inside the living room, and, despite the silence, you two are more connected than before.

“I must say, there’s one thing I’m sure won't change,” Leon laughs, looking at his hands, after a long time of silence. “Being almost killed truly made me see things…”

“Such as?” You lifted your head to look at him.

“First, I actually never asked to be reassigned to another partner. I only told you that because I wanted to see how you would react” he said, looking at you. “And…”

“What's the second?” You laugh at his confession, mostly because you knew that a long time ago.

“The second is… I really hate the way that I love you”

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frost-queen · 10 months ago

Text

Bodyguarded // part 3 (Reader!Grimes x Daryl Dixon)

Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly @denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @venomsvl, @the-uncoordinated-house-cat, @rosecentury, @imagines-by-her, @evilcr0ne, @vviolynn, Tag: @strangerthingslover69, @ankhmutes, @yoowhatthefuck, @sseleniaa, @deansapplepie, @abbiesxox

Summary: After your little fall-out with Shane, you start to distance yourself. Daryl gives zero f*cks about you distancing yourself as he keeps himself aroud. During a heart to heart with Daryl, you might discover more of the underlying tone of Shane's attitude towards you. [series]

Crickets cricked in the bushes around the fire. Rick sat by the fire with Lori and Carl. Carl was leaning against him staring at the mesmerizing flames. Lori was in deep thought. Some had joined them but mostly everyone had an agenda of their own. Daryl stood a bit further away, leaning against a tree. His gaze turned away from the fire, but rather turned towards you. You weren’t engaging with the crowd, but keeping your distance from them.

You felt humiliated. Like a spying glass had been cast upon you. Everywhere you went, a set of curious eyes followed. Trying to figure out what was going on between Shane and you. Frankly you hardly had a clue to his behaviour towards you. Perhaps you needed to dig deep. Go way back to old memories from before the fall. Before the world went to hell.

Looking over at your brother made you smile faintly. He looked so happy yet somehow you felt like an outsider. Adverting your gaze from him, you turned your posture to take your leave. Going further away from the others to find solitude. The moment you got in motion, went Daryl after you. Leaving the others for what they were to go with you.

Hearing a second pair of feet trail behind you, you exhaled deep. – “Daryl I want to be alone.” – you told him keeping your pace up. – “Fine. I’ll just keep my distance.” – he answered slowing a bit down. Looking up with a heavy sigh, you stopped. – “Daryl you don’t understand. I don’t want you here!” – you made clear having turned around to him. – “Too bad for I’m not going anywhere.” – he made clear. – “Daryl!” – you groaned out. – “What!” – he called back going in defence.

You groaned loud pressing your palms against your eyes, feeling yourself get worked up. – “Daryl please give me some space.” – you begged. – “I’ll give you space but at least let me be around.” – he asked in return. It made you furrow your brows. – “I don’t want to lose… I mean… if a walker appears…” – he spoke swallowing a lot of his words back in. – “Then what? I can shoot Daryl, remember!” – you made clear.

“I know but you…” – he exhaled loud walking up to you. – “You are not in the right headspace right now.” – he told you, touching your elbow. You turned your head bothered away. You hated how right he was. – “Just… just let me keep you save.” – he lowered his head a bit to catch your attention.

Untensing your muscles with a deep sigh, you surrendered to him. Daryl took you by the other elbow as well, pulling you closer to his body. Sensing just how much you needed it. He wrapped his arms one by one around you. Your arms remained at your side, not feeling it yet. – “Give it a few moments.” – Daryl teased half chuckling. You scrunched your nose, hating how right he was. Not a moment later you gave in, wrapping your arms around him too.

“Good girl.” – he said chuckling. You slapped him hard on the back. – “Don’t patronize me.” – you responded grumpy. Daryl removed his arms from around you, cupping your cheek as he tilted your head a bit back. – “Never.” – he whispered staring down at you. He left a quick kiss on your forehead as it didn’t feel satisfying to you.

He let go of you, spinning you around by your shoulders. He started pushing you through the woody parts of the camp. – “Where are we going?” – you questioned. – “To be alone, like you wanted.” – he simply said, continue to push you forwards. Using you like a compass, navigating his way through.

You came to a clearing in the woods. All the cars were parked over there. Daryl guided you towards the truck opening the door for you at the drivers seat. You got inside, watching him jog around to get in on the other side. He shut the door firm behind him. – “Solitude and silence.” – he joked. – “You are still here.” – you reminded him with a tease. Daryl leaned down in the seat, getting all comfy. – “No I’m not.” – he adjusted the seating lower, leaning back.

“Go ahead and mope or cry or shout, just wake me up when you see a walker.” – he said casually flopping his arm over his head. – “Daryl!” – you said laughingly nudging him hard. – “What?” – he responded unable to hide a smile. – “You’re an idiot.” – you nudged him again with a silly smile on your face. – “I know.” – he answered all smug. He shut his eyes, pretending to take a nap.

You exhaled soft looking out of the dusty window. – “It’s a bit too quiet.” – you said out loud. – “I’m not singing any songs.” – Daryl mumbled in response without moving a muscle. It made you laugh. Daryl set himself back up with a deep exhale. – “Alright fighter, let’s talk.” – he tapped his hand on your knee.

You grabbed the steering wheel staring in front of you. – “How are you feeling with your brother being back, Y/n?” – he asked. You breathed out a laugh, looking at him. – “What I can be serious.” – he let out making you laugh even more. You then calmed letting your hands rejoice at the top of the steering wheel. – “It still feels a bit weird seeing him alive. Don’t get me wrong I am overjoyed he is alive… it is just…” – you started. – “You thought he was dead for so long.” – Daryl finished as you hummed.

“Before… before it all went down my brother was shot.” – You told Daryl. – “They were armed and shot at my brother. Shane… my brother’s partner brought him to the hospital. He wasn’t waking up so they left him in a coma. It was already then a risk if he would make it out alive.” – taking a deep breath you let your forehead rest against your hands on the steering wheel. Suddenly you were pulled back in the memories of the first strike.

Shane drove his car aggressively onto the front lawn. He stepped out all worked up when Lori appeared in the door. – “Shane?” – she said. – “Lori get your bags!” – Shane ordered pointing firm at her. Carl squeezed himself between the opening and his mom, coming in front of her. – “Lori your bags!” – Shane shouted having opened the trunk. – “What for? What is going on Shane?” – She asked feeling herself go in a panic because of his behaviour.

A few houses away broke the window with a clashing sound. Screams filled the streets when a woman tripped. A person going up to her and dropped himself to the ground. A moment later his head lifted a bit of flesh between his teeth. Blood staining his chin as he munched on the flesh. Lori covered up Carl’s eyes, shakingly holding a hand before her mouth. – “Lori!” – Shane yelled startling her. – “The bags!” – Lori nodded shockingly letting go of Carl.

Shane rushed over to Carl, grabbing him roughly by the arm. – “What about dad?” – Carl asked when Shane opened the car door. Shane pushed Carl on the backseat, closing the door on him. Shane ran into the house to help out Lori. Carl looked out of the window, crying silently at what he saw. Flesh being ripped off and blood splattering all around.

You were running horrified by what was occurring. Utter panic in the streets. People eating people. Biting bits and pieces for their own hunger. You didn’t lived far so your first reaction was running over to Rick’s house. There you saw Shane’s car parked poorly on the grass. Upon seeing Carl in the car, you started running faster. – “Carl!” – you shouted loud. Carl heard some muffled sounds before his eyes fell upon you. – “Auntie Y/n!” – he called out, pushing the car door open.

He ran up to you, bumping hard against you. He was crying loud against your body as you shielded him from the horrors. Lori and Shane came out of the house with bags. – “Y/n!” – Lori said surprised. – “Get in the car!” – Shane ordered to Lori. Lori nodded going to the car, tossing the bags in the trunk. Shane walked up to Carl, pulling him off you. – “In the car!” – he shouted at Carl, tossing him towards the car. Lori took Carl, putting him in the car.

“Where is Rick?” – you asked confused. Shane remained silent. – “You were with him! You were at the hospital so where is he?” – you wanted to know. – “Where is he?” – you shouted punching Shane on the shoulder. Shane grabbed you by the wrist. – “He’s gone!” – he shouted at you. – “No!” – you cried out.

“You are lying!” – you told him. Shane grabbed you by the arms. – “You want to go and see for yourself? Fine! It will be your dead. He is gone Y/n!” – Shane’s hands moved further around you towards your back as it made you step back before they could fully close around you. Shane’s expression hardened. – “Go chase a dead man than!” – he said rudely pushing you away.

You stumbled to the ground in shock. Shane stormed off towards his car. – “If you would just…” – he began, looking over his shoulder to you. Without another word he got in the car. Your eyes widened knowing what he was about to do. You got up to your feet running towards the car. The car got in motion as you missed it. It took a turn, driving off. – “Shane!” – you shouted running after the car.

“Shane!” – you screamed as the distance increased. You couldn’t keep up, you never could. Stopping you dropped to your knees crying and screaming. Carl on the backseat knocking against the glass and shouting was the last thing you saw.

Your head shot up making Daryl blink confused. – “Is…is everything alright?” – he asked after your long silence. – “He told me Rick was dead.” – you mumbled staring hard in front of you. Your hands tightening around the steering wheel. Knuckles turning white. – “He lied…” – you said a bit louder. – “Who?” – Daryl asked getting a bit cautious of how terrifying cold you were being. – “He lied!” – you called out.

Out of anger you started to slap your hand against the steering wheel. Hitting it repeatedly even when your hand felt sore. – “Y/n, Y/n.” – Daryl said trying to get you to stop. He grabbed your hands as you continued to slap, hitting Daryl in the process. He pulled them off the steering wheel pulling at your hands to turn your posture more towards him. He wrapped his arms around you tight as you cried your heart out against his chest.

Pressing his lips hard on top of your head. Daryl turned his head spotting a trailed off walker appear from between the trees. – “Y/n.” – he whispered. – “I’ll be right back… you stay here…” – he said as you felt his grip around you loosen. You lifted your head up as well, seeing the walker. Daryl moved his finger to his mouth, letting you know to remain silent. He then gestured for you to stay put. He was going to take care of it. Your gaze darted down to the crossbow on the floor. His arrows sticking up.

You grabbed an arrow, getting out of the car. – “Y/n!” – Daryl called out, hurrying out of the car. Clenching your grip around the arrow, you went up to the walker. – “Y/n!” – Daryl shouted as it caught the attention of the walker. The walker gaged making it’s way over to you. Daryl ran up to you trying to keep you out of harms way. You raised the arrow, jamming it into the walker’s eye. Pushing it further in, the walker fell backwards with you on top of it.

Pulling the arrow out of it, you jammed it again in it’s eye. Then again and again. Gory blood splashing up. You kept trusting it in the eye, creating a massive hole. – “Y/n! Y/n!” – Daryl called out grabbing your arm to stop you from hitting it once more. – “It’s dead.” – Daryl made clear. You gasped for air with a loud sob, lowering your arm. Daryl took the arrow from you.

You wiped some gore off your face with your arm. Getting up with a loud huff. You wanted to walk off as Daryl grabbed your wrist, keeping you in place. – “What the hell was that about?” – he wanted to know. You didn’t have to speak as he understood. Daryl searched his back pockets taking out a key with the most ridiculous keychains on them. He opened your hand slapping them in your hand.

It made you frown. – “You can drive if you like.” – he said. – “Daryl what… what do you…” – you began as he interrupted. – “I don’t need all of them! I don’t! Hell I can survive better on my own!” – he made clear with a loud tone. – “So f*ck them all and drive off!” – he continued finally making himself clear to you. He grabbed you by the shoulders with a deep exhale.

“All I care about is you Y/n. Let’s get in the car and go. Just go. Leave this pile of shit behind.” – he pulled you closer letting his forehead rest against yours. – “All I want is for you to be save Y/n. So say the word and we’ll leave.” – he finished. You closed your hand with the keys in it, smiling up to him. You kissed him tender on the lips.

Daryl held himself back knowing it was a bittersweet kiss. He knew you couldn’t leave Carl… or Rick. – “I’ll hold you to it.” – you told him not saying entirely no to his offering. Daryl cupped your cheeks, kissing you once more. Deepening his kiss. Lips brushing against one another. A promise made underneath the moonlight.

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death---dealer · 4 months ago

Text

If You Only Knew. ( Noa x Human!Reader. ) Part Thirteen.

oh mg god

Title: If You Only Knew. Fandom: ( Kingdom of the ) Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( Sexual implications, injury, mentions of blood. ) Pairing: Noa x Human!Reader. Words: 7K. ( Shorter but every word HURTS. ) Summary: Noa is taken to you. Once more, one more time and one more chance to tell you how he feels.

READ THE SERIES HERE.

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No one came back for you.

There was no satisfaction in feeling a set of arms lined with fur drenching themselves against your body and carrying you off to safety as you began the decline into the inevitable. Soona--- you whimpered gently, she… Did the right thing. You’d have not come back for an Echo either, so terrible and flushed with misery and inherent selfishness to destroy all of the good in their lives. You’d have left the body alone to shatter into char and to be completely unrecognizable. Her people… Her Clan. Your Clan. Your people… More important. You’d perish with it, rightfully so, never to be remembered in the future, never to be thought of anymore as nothing more than the Echo who brought down the entire three-hundred years of established cultures and families.

There was no indication outside the roaring of the flames of an Ape calling out to you to help, of someone there to cast you back to reality and to tell you to hold on for just a little more. Self-pity had to be the last thing you felt before actually succumbing, how bitter a thought and how cruel the world was to you as your appendages all went numb against the heated ground, soot seeping into your mouth and coating the inside of your lungs with disgusted ash and resin that you were choking on but could not bring yourself to cough out, your head splitting itself open from the inside out like your brain wanted nothing more than to escape in a last-ditch effort to save at least your subconscious.

There was nothing for you, you figured and waited in baited anticipation of what lay beyond. You had gotten the only satisfaction you were seeking; seeing a life with Noa that you were not going to have. Feeling Noa against you knowing that it was never meant to be your body there, carrying a child with him to fruition, passing on the knowledge of both Echo and Ape… Lost and gone for both of you, a shred of guilt resting against your esophagus as all you wanted was to cry but had no energy to foster a chortle.

The Chimp would find a way to do it himself, he was obsessive in that aspect, you tried to calm your racing mind as you tore through the burns that left you here in the first place. No more resentment towards him for letting you go months ago, no more wondering what would have happened if you did not agree to his terms and he let you out into the world a year ago. No more… Noa for your eyes to feast on, the ripping of his muscles such a delicacy on their own, no meeting gazes from across the bonfire as Anaya told one of his crazed and elaborate stories, no more interactions on the basis that you were going to teach him something new… This was okay, your mind rested. Your fingers flattened on the ground and you kissed the blue feather of Eagle Sun into the Earth itself.

Caressing bare skin was unusual, the sense pulling you back from the tether you had against the chains of bargaining. You always hated it when you compared it to the way it felt to have Noa brushing against your bare flesh. Human… too much like your own, too sweaty and too flushed, easy to break apart and torture to the extent of intense agony. You wanted to pull your arm back from the grasp, snatched and barked at whoever was touching you that you were not to be cradled by anyone but Noa but they were persistent, words flurrying around your ear drums but failing to process beyond a mild muffle. It was just the fire crackling, you figured and thought nothing of the inflictions. It was whispering to you that it was your time to go and out of arrogance, you chose to ignore it because you were unable to admit if you wanted to leave or not.

One part of you did; to fall asleep and not have to worry about the sun rising in the morning and the innate responsibilities that rested on your shoulders for being different and having to face the Clan in their demise, their eyes flooding you with judgment that you were the reason for the destruction in the first place. You’d be forced to leave, they’d all hate you and you’d rather embrace death then have to admit to yourself that they were right to always despise Echo, yourself included in that equation.

One part of you didn't; wanting to stay awake long enough to see Noa once more so you could truly tell him that you needed him… That you… Needed his approval and his affection or else you were going to die without satisfaction and pleasure. To mutter how sorry you were that this all happened and that you were flooded with acute regret for taking the sweetened agreement that just got more and more drenched in coated honey that it was a temptation you were unable to stop yourself from biting at. You hoped one way or another he was going to forgive you for you were unable to forgive yourself.

A breath left your body when your arm was pulled, the sensation so dulled in the scape of the other injuries that riddled your body and you were under the safe assumption that Death herself came to grab you, pulling the arm right out of the socket as she dragged you to the deepest parts of the abyss.

Fluttering against the ground, you were nothing more than dead weight and she realized that, holding on a bit tighter around your bruised wrist and tugged harder, skidding your body against the dirt and filling each lifeless pore with more dirtiness. You were unsure where that was, where in intended place you were being scooted to was but you hoped it was somewhere warm as chill ran through your spine and entangled itself against each vertebrate, kissing it to the point of paralysis and you were unable to even move your head to see what was happening as the landscape in front of your terror ladened eyes began to change.

From dirt coating the front of your body, scraping relentlessly through the thinned, crimson soaked t-shirt and into your navel and tearing away at your skin.

To flushed grass that sounded like heavy boots crunching and killing each of the shards. You felt bad for them, meeting Death so swiftly when you had the privilege to see it so close and personal, forming a relationship with her that you were never going to get in life itself.

To the sediment of the forest's edge as you felt gravity taking a turn against you, head frantic to find some stability as you were propped up against the wooden embankment of a tree-trunk. She was preparing you, your lips parting in exaltation as you accepted it. The blood encrusted feather in your hand raised as you offered it to her. Take… Take it back to Noa for me, tell him… how much I’m sorry to leave… I needed to though, I can’t… hold on… Your head teetered forward, your neck muscles unable to hold any semblance of stability to tighten and stay active.

“You need-”

A smile split across your face at the voice. Yeah, death was going to be a Human. The worst imaginable, the same inclination thoughts about Apes you had when you first laid eyes on Noa, Anaya and Soona, never realizing the impact they would have on you in the coming months that lead to this lusted for moment when Death would kiss you and take the last breath for herself, storing it for blackmail in the afterlife. The mind was running on its own as your eyelids were unable to come into any sort of position to properly see what had just occurred and where Death had taken you.

Limbo, maybe. Awaiting a sentence that you knew was going to come hammering down on you for it was not coming from the Apes who granted you refuge, though they deserved it all the same. All your life as a Human making biased assumptions towards the very family who gave you a second life, who gave you a second chance to change your view points. All selfishly thrown away for just one of them… Your lips parted again as you managed to get yourself to whisper a small utterance.

“Noa…” The feather you canted between your fingertips, a symbol of your lack of understanding and your lack of willingness to let go, reached itself up in a stroke towards the Heavens as if you were going to take off to the sky with it. “Noa.”

“Get up---”I don’t want to, you whispered inside of your mind, legs finally coming back to some feeling as you felt the shattering of your calves, not able to heal themselves and ingrained with dirt from a fight you needed to win to see Noa’s face once more. To hold him and to tell him in acute silence that it was all going to be alright and that you were going to get him safe.“You---”

The voice was breaking up, you whimpered quietly in your spot and reached your feather placed hand out to grasp at Death again. Don’t leave me now! I can’t go back… I’m s.. So afraid…

“Need to help---” I’d rather die, you tucked the feather into the hand that out-stretched itself to help you get steady, refusing the help and admiration from the darkness and allotted your body against the ground as it had been before. Would the feather make it to Noa? You had no idea, but you hoped that the Reaper would be kind enough to show you one more grace. One more good thought and good deed as you rested your head against the ground, the notion of your split head nothing more than a tacknote in how it felt to just embrace what you were. As an Echo who loved an Ape. As part of the Eagle Clan itself, you wanted nothing more than to be a part of the Earth in death.

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The aggressive silence that radiated off the Ape, walking step-by-step with another Echo was abundantly clear in the shattering of twigs underweight of flat feet that were spaced with balanced toes and a pair of worn, nearly holed at the bottom was deafening to both as the ricocheting sounds reverberated through the entire wooded area. Noa was unsure, his rustled fur against his body on edge at every turn that this Echo made in the westward direction. Every turn of the head that this smaller frame made caused Noa’s bloodshot eyes to narrow and scan him again incase he had missed a hidden weapon, in case Noa was being lead to the ultimate fight to the Death with the knowledge that the only thing that was keeping his muscles together at this point was the prospect of seeing you again. Conversation was sparse, save for the idle mention earlier as the trek began that you were not in a state of consciousness and he was even hesitant to leave you in the first place to die on your own; the Echo was adamant that no one deserved to die alone and that was something Noa full heartedly agree with that, but only with you. This Echo. Very well could die alone at the hands of Noa’s strength and he’d feel nothing as the heart ceased to beat as long as you were safe and accounted for in the grand scheme. He contemplated it, watching the fall and rise of the shoulders and gesturing directions to him, broader than your own and all the more powerful and able to defend themselves as Noa tore away from the vision he got of your bloodied and tattered body. Seething at that, teeth bared themselves momentarily and shined with the glistening of the morning sun making itself known against the crisped landscape. He was… unable to defend you… Unable to stop the infliction against your soft skin, unable to hold and cradle your head when you came crashing down from the horse after trying to bid yourself into an escape. Noa--- his stomach churned as they rounded a blueberry bush, all familiar to him now as they were nearing the edge of the clan, his thick and calloused fingertips brushing the foliage with reminiscent melancholy of how many times your knees brushed their surfaces as you went foraging for berries, nestled so deeply in the bush that Noa thought you would disappear if you went any further.

Noa contemplated it again; killing this Echo for even admitting that he was a part of the plan from the beginning and he did nothing but grovel for himself. Pitifully, the Master of the Birds thought and heard Eagle Sun crouch a cry into the stagnant air, enough to tell Noa what was happening. Pushing aside the lingering idea that Noa was more like this Echo than he was willing to bring to the forefront, both afraid once, both bargaining for their place in the world, Noa playing pieces with his own Clan’s safety and this Echo playing a piece with a azure feather, he hated that he felt a lick of sympathy at all as the scattering calls from Eagle Sun grew louder with each reinvigorating step he was taking, one after the other pained and slanted as he was unable to garner enough strength to balance his broad body, right arm in a slump of usefulness and his left, weaker than the dominant, fluttering to keep himself upright. “She gave you…” Noa finally spoke, feeling the feather tickling at the inside of his wrist where it had made its bloodied home against the fur that was dressed tightly in the arm band used to hold Eagle Sun without his talons causing extensive damage to the toughened skin that lined Noa’s body. His voice felt to be a different part of him, so far off, so unfamiliar to his ears that were still ringing from being shattered into the mud. Noa wanted to speak more, to instigate this further but the captivation of smothering in his lungs was too great to counterbalance the movements that were rocketing what felt like shattered rib pieces into the outer edges of his lungs. “Feather. To bring…?”

“No,” Noa stopped moving and felt himself stiffen at that brute answer, tilting his head and feeling his teeth scrape against his lips as he wanted to bark in aggressive intimidation for an answer. “I took it from her. She kept…”

The Echo also stopped a few feet in front of Noa and turned around to face his prudent captor and for the first time, the Ape got a good look at him. Sickly, from malnourishment, incredibly sunken in cheeks and a chiseled brow-line that was hardened from years of being exposed to the most deadliest of predators; Apes and Echo alike. Below the brow rested blue eyes, not too dissimilar from Noa’s in the stance they held.

Reservation, the knowledge that this was all a tossup and either one of them could come out the champion. He was better hiding it than Noa though, the Chimp had to admit that defeat as he only longed to place his gaze on you and trying to convince himself otherwise was futile. Tousled, dark blond hair that bled into a more honey-golden when he stepped in the right light, Noa noticed as he came forward, slowly at first as Noa hunched his body, flinching only momentarily as he yearned for his right arm to become comprehensive.

“She kept mumbling about this Noa,” He uttered, “I figured that was you, the leader. The feather was just to get you here.” He tilted his chin back towards the direction that they were trailing, back to the Clan. “You’re the whole reason she fought so hard in the first place to keep your home from burning to the ground. Which proved pointless, we still came--- And well, we’re not all heartless, she deserves to at least have someone she knows there when she dies.”

What a sick and twisted way to show what Noa wanted to consider empathy, his mouth running dry and eyes widening at the words. She deserves to have someone she knows there when she dies. So… You were alive. That’s all his buzzed mind could comprehend from that, the racing of his heart inside of the crackled nature of his chest racing towards that without thinking about the other implications of the statement. Alive… You were alive, this Echo had no reason to lie to Noa… Well, he… did. Enough reason lay in the bounds between species. There was a confliction running through the collarbones and zapping down his spine.

You were alive… But this Echo was bringing him near you so you could experience the last death to bear witness to your pupils, Noa’s blood falling into your face for the last time as you cried before being taken yourself. A game as evil and conniving as the group of ravenous Apes that lead to your untimely arrival at the Clan, forcing your way into all aspects and into Noa himself to the point where there was no vivid future without you with him.

Noa was unwavering in his stare, from eye to eye to get any indication that the truth was being spoken but there was nothing there for him to read, Noa cursing inside of his mind and falling into a pit of self-deprecation that he had become so accustomed to reading your emotions splayed on your face that he figured it would be easy to do with a different Echo. Noa did take notice regardless of the lack of expressions that he was taking a deep breath in and releasing it painfully as if Noa himself were threatening the very air that was encasing the surrounding area. Like a pestilence, like a plague.

This… Noa felt his shredded mouth open for a split second as he reached for another question but nothing came to bear fruit from his worthless tongue. This Echo's body stance told him and reminded Noa that… You were not the same even if he came to offer your rescue. This was not empathy, Noa recognized. What you had shown him in the past, talking about his father, the loss of the Clan before this time, was crusted with flecks of empathy that were palpable and tasted so sweet that you were whispering them directly into his mouth. This was… Cruelty. To bring him to you only to see you for an instant before you were taken again. Not satisfaction, not a trace of forgiveness…

Noa glowered as they turned and began moving forward again, muttering something under their breath about only a few meters more, and he felt not an ounce of empathy for the Echo who bargained for his life like you had before. He’d drink the cruel potion, Noa thought, without hesitating. Anything at all to see you one more time in some desperate hope that maybe it would be enough for the Ape to have closure. He never got it with his Father, each step falling now dripping into the Earth with sorrow filled remembrance of the things that he had in life and the things that were taken from him.

The Echo would kill him in any other circumstance, Noa’s brain riddled itself with contradictions from the way he was raised, so peaceful and unsparing in fights as they’d grown to admire the ways of the Sky’s and not the aggressive ways of the Apes from Beyond the Valley.

But… Noa would do it first out of seeking and attributed revenge that this pathetic excuse for a life was unable to see your value and save you in the first place before the Chimp felt your soul slipping away from him when you laid your life for him. Soona taking him away though Noa felt the fear of his muscles convulsing to go back and to save you instead. Noa recalled in a bloodied fit of terror to go back, too weak to use his body and his words were nothing but crimson against teeth, telling Soona to take him back and to let him drag you to safety.

Something, anything… Noa felt bile rise in the back of his throat and it stung the already saliva coated crevice as he tried to swallow back the bitter taste of his thoughts and ideas, the ideologies springing from the night before. Green claret irises were tired as they stared at this other Echo who wanted to do something selfless but Noa felt no relief for it. There was none for anyone but you. You were his Echo and he would feel not one shred of empathy of feelings towards any others.

He could imagine you so vividly in front of him, body so accepting of the differences that laid between the two of you, willing to listen despite your mind having tugged you so often in the opposite direction. They were not all the same, these Echo who came and pillaged, this Echo who brought you back together. But they were not you, Noa needed to tell himself over and over again as he began to carry his body against the ground once more. Only a little bit more, he wanted to fall onto all fours and race ahead but he was unable to tear himself into the position to do that in the first place, no weight was substantiated against his right arm and Noa knew it was going to take time to heal from a Echo inflicted wound.

He wondered for a second--- Thinking back at the tendering of your flesh from a year ago… How long it would take you to heal from what you sustained. The wounds against your calves, the beating against your head. Noa was unsure how hard you had been hit there, knowing that head injuries amongst Echo were always the fastest and most sparing way to take them out of their misery. There was a racked fear that when he got to you, Noa was going to be unable to say anything to you, grief riding along his diaphragm.

You were in an awful state the second he saw you before battling, the darkness of the night no doubt shielding some bruises and internal damages from his sight. Noa felt his breath shatter right out of his mouth. What if… He whimpered to himself, what if there was something internally wrong and there was nothing more they could do and you would die from the inside out? What--- Noa’s teeth gritted together, easing the pain that was flushing through the remaining senses he had that were not already blown into obscurity. He’d have to watch you die, one way or another. Either here in this moment now as the Echo came to a slow stop and pointed down the minor embankment of a fallen tree trunk.

Or… In the future, your face pressing against his as you recalled a good and prosperous life with him. Children… so many, Noa wanted, feeling himself crumble with the idea that it wasn’t even plausible anymore and you were going to be taken from him too soon. He wanted to be selfish as he looked upwards on the small hill. You were right there, Noa wanted to see as he felt sinus pressure build along with the idea that he had more tears to shed after the nightmare he had just been through, lack of sleep and conscious thought hitting at his mind and beating him into submission. You were right there for him… Smiling and telling him what a great life you had led indeed; how you were so… proud that he had chosen you, but that was always going to be the thing. Noa would have been proud of you… Never himself, you stuck this out, you did th---

His throat closed up in preparation as he lifted his large and sunken frame upwards, feeling the shift of the Earth under his body, giving the Echo just one passing glance as if to say a minor ‘thank you’ for not taking him out. For allowing this. For taking him back to you. He could smell you. The richness and stomach-turning scent of your iron-clad blood mixing with that undertone that always drew him to you. Always brought him right back home. You did this… for him, for his freedom… Noa needed to repay you somehow.

Knees shattered straight onto the ground at the sight in front of his eyes, the stance large and sprinted as he literally tore himself into pieces to get his body down the small canal to reach you. Feet did not matter anymore, Noa uttered to himself, hands and feet, all appendages were on the ground, ignoring the deeply fascinated spring in his shoulder blade that was keeping the tendons there from eating at themselves.

Alive, Noa needed the confirmation, unsure where the abysmal grunt he made came from as he rounded your body, his hands differentiating themselves into the leaf encrusted ground. Yelping to himself, Noa bit down on his tongue to get you into his one good arm, his body slamming itself against the tree you had once been propped up against, eyes trying to ignore the patch of hair that had been yanked right of your skull that rested in a crevice in the bark.

“I---So…” Noa breathed through his nose paced and quickened. The comprehension he had pulled together for himself shattered right before him and he had no power to stop it as he got you between his legs, letting your form drape against his chest and the uproar of your weight against his damaged insides was enough to keep him awake. “Wa… What… did you do… Stupid Echo...” How he sounded like Anaya in that moment as he scolded and tore into Noa for even implying that he wanted to mate with you. How that moment in time had been lost to the Ape for almost four months, how he… Lost you because he believed Anaya’s ignorance, to no fault of his Sunset Brother. He was right; Noa caressed your blooded head in his good hand and craned your neck to look at your face. You were so stupid… So reckless, more so than any Ape he had ever met.

All of this, his green gaze slid down and turned itself upside down at the blood that smeared against the front of your thinned t-shirt, nothing there to protect the skin that Noa wanted to bite from scratches and tears from the ground below. “Please…” He whispered to you and readjusted the hold he had against your face, tenderly pressing his calloused finger pads into it with a silent plea that spoke more than the words he was able to say at the time.

Noa brought his face down to your mouth. Breathing… He could feel it against his cheek, rustling against the nature of his flurried fur. So good… Bottom lip quivered as he drew downwards to your chest, ignoring the desperation his body was asking for him to stop the jerks of the muscles and to rest. There was no time, he yelled at them in a biting tone, there was no time because you were…

Heartbeat… in your chest, he could hear it in his eardrum when he brought himself down upon your blistering ribs. Noa stammered, barking at his right arm to get itself together so he could cradle you properly, to hold you to him if this was the only chance he was going to get. Only mildly successful in that, he tugged your entire weight on top of him, the position awkward and crinkled as Eagle Sun came to rest in front of him.

‘Go,’ He signed at the bird, ‘Urgent. Must tell Mother, Soona. Echo…’ Noa swallowed hard and held the back of your head against his shoulder, the utmost promise of the moment that he was not going to let you go again no matter what came upon you two. “Echo still alive. Go!” Such an easy command for such a complicated and tempered bird that resembled Noa in ways he wished he was unable to not notice.

Stubborn, the Chimp felt his breathing staggering uncontrollably at the ease you slumped against him, the torment of his shoulder reminded him that everything had a cost but the cost was paid time and time again. “Eagle Sun,” He whispered to you and pressed the entirety of his face into your hair and drew in the deepest breath he was able to muster with the torture it took to even breath normally. “He will… bring… Soona and Mother… Save… Save you… Stay…”

There was no way to ignore the fact that you were bloodied beyond recognition, Noa swallowed hard at that and brought you down to look at again. His eyes traced the familiarity of your features. The sweep of your eyelids, eyelashes flashing against your cheek bones, the bruising and swollen nature of your lips, the cuts that eradicated the sweet nature of your body. From the top of your forehead all the way down to the mangled despair of your legs... Noa whined deep in his chest.

You were here… You were back! Noa chanted inside of his derailed train of thought, hoping that it was enough to keep him motivated until the two other Apes came to help. “Stay… with me…” He urged you, pressing his forehead lightly against your own, to no response but Noa pressed on, moving inwards to the point where he felt another deeply antagonistic shatter occur in his ribs. He’d heal from that, but if he lost you there would be nothing left to heal.

“I cannot… do this… entire…” Noa felt the moistening under his eyes, creasing into the wrinkles that were more prominent from lack of rest and juxtaposed aggression and self-loathing. “This entire thing without… you need…” Exaltation was no relief for the Ape as your head lulled to the side and Noa found himself enthralled in the slower beating against your jugular. Carefully, he raised your unresponsive body to him and there was a brief moment of contact that his lips had against your neck. If you couldn’t support yourself, he’d do just that until you were healed. Until you were brought back to him.

“You do this for me…” Noa bargained and bared his teeth against the fleshy part behind your ear, “Do this for me and I… Will… forever… be yours… Mate, friend…” Noa bit lightly at the skin, the taste of blood on the surface skyrocketing whatever thought processes he had left. Not enough to break the skin, but just enough to let you know his intentions whether you were consciously aware of them or not. Aware of his arms holding you, aware that he was there to see you before you eclipsed. Noa felt his teeth chattering as he bit down again, this time with more vigor. “Mine… I will not let… you go again…”

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

Noa was able to hear Eagle Sun’s screech. Close, he thought, close, close, close… His head was pressed into your chest, keeping time with the dimmed nature of your heart and imagining himself living in a different time. You… Were in the nest, Noa rocking both your bodies as he still had you in a tight embrace. Yes… Yes yes… In the nest that you two shared, years from now… Noa’s head was resting against your chest and he was taking in the nature of your bare skin under his fur, your fingers tickling themselves into the fur of his head and scratching at his skull.

He’d purr for you, eyes raising themselves to what Noa wanted to imagine as a cheeky grin. Mates, he whispered to you and found himself allotted between your open legs much like that vision he had of you two before he found his way back to the living… That thinking was so much better than the lifeless form he had against him, though that itself was something he never imagined happening.

“You… be alright… I promise…” He whispered against your chest and tried to ignore the feeling of dread that played around at the front of his mind, eyes dropping themselves in a state of exhaustion. “We will take you back to the Clan,” Brushing out your hair with his good hand, Noa plucked a few twigs from the sediment that had built itself into your strands.

“Heal… You…” As if beckoning him, Noa pressed his forehead onto your sternum and rested there in a crouched position, the only part of your body hitting the ground below being your legs that Noa was too afraid to wrap into a tight coil so he could embrace your entire form like he had wanted to for so long. “You… will be alright… Noa… Does not break… promises.. Anaya… Soona know… So my Echo… should know that…”

There was a jolt against him, barely detectable in normal circumstances but given the heightened and intense nature of the atmosphere that surrounded your two bodies, Noa felt it. The shift of your breathing from shallowed to lesser so, the windy nature of your mouth breathing so relaxing despite the call for water to coat your throat, words unable to seep through, barely able to draw into the twinkling dawn that was drenching the landscape and rained from the leaves above to case your form with delectations of shadows that appeared to dance with the most gentle of breezes.

Noa was afraid to look up at your face as he nuzzled himself further into your chest, clutching at your back with his damaged right side as tightly as he could in case you were slipping away from him. Soona, Dar… Too late, he figured, seeing Eagle Sun fly himself to a perch on the fallen over tree nearby. “Too late, Sun…”

“N…”

His ear prickled.

“N… No… Noa?” There was a dreadful wheeze in your throat, your eyes pressed together from mud and tears that clotted right around your eyeline and cemented them shut. “Noa.”

“(Name).” He’d never sounded so desperate, slightly envious of anyone who had a neck that was able to move quickly as Noa found his actions too slow to bring his head up to gaze down at you. The Ape spoke again, this time more clearly. He was dead; he had to be there was no way… Noa churned his head forward to stifle a condensed cry. “(N-Name).”

Your name sounded so strange… Muffled like you had sand in your mind that was pouring itself into an hourglass. The countdown was unknown as your stiffened arms attempted to move first and you found your fingertips touching coarse fur. If you had it in you to smile, you were sure that was the expression on your face as you carded your way into it, “I can---... I can’t bre… Breathe…” As evident from the wheezing, Noa figured and grasped the side of your face, urging you once more like you had for him hours ago to just… Look at him. Once. That’s all he needed, all Noa wanted as he felt the hand that had flushed into his fur touching at his bare skin, inches below the coating of warmth he had all around his entire body. “Can you…” Noa’s hot breath felt good against your cold cheeks, “Look at me?”

“Mm….” Grumbling that deeply inside of your throat, you knocked your head from side to side and was ardently reminded of the suffering that followed suit as you cried out, grasping a handful of his fur tight between his fingers. “Did th… the… clan….”

Noa laughed at that, trying to keep himself steady for you at the sick and twisted irony that you were more worried about the Clan than even yourself. “We… are all safe… all… In the woods. I have… Soona, Mo-Mother coming to help.”

“Noa…” You crinkled a bit of a soft sob, feeling the prickle of them against your eyes that gave enough lubrication for you to open ever so slightly to look at him through the peaked crusts. How you wished you hadn’t as you cried out again, this one more straggled against him. The light burned at your dirty retinas, the visual of Noa’s tattered shoulder still severely fresh in your mind, “I-I’m so…--- So sorry…” “Stupid Echo to apologize.” You whimpered at that. Some attempt at a laugh it was, it was pitiful in all descriptions of the word and tapered into a dull sounding whine. “Sounds li-like Anaya… Not Noa.”

“Well, Anaya stupid too…” Noa uttered and began tracing your bottom lip with his thumb. Slowly, back and forth and it was a bid to get you to at least smile at him rather than staying solemn of emotion as if you were unable to differentiate that in your mind. “Got hit over the head… He… is okay,” Noa knew you were going to ask that, guilt already laden in your stance against him as you were trying to pull yourself up from the tinkering of your injuries. Soon, Noa’s hold on you told him, Dar and Soona would be here soon to look you over to make sure you were alright… “You… are okay? I thought you… were gone… I could not… feel you with me anymore…” Parting your lips felt energy wasting as you did just that, your lips ghosting over a few words. You wanted to confirm to him that you were essentially dead. That you wanted to be if it meant that he was safe, the cough that split from you was nothing short of ghastly as blood poured itself onto your chin, Noa looking at the darkened color with innate fear and desperation to protect you as his fingers wiped it off and smeared you like you were wearing the more delicate casing of paint. “Should not speak… Should not… move… Hurt… Don’t know how ba… badly…” “You---” There was a pause as Noa admired your fluttering eyelashes, bringing his mouth down to trickle right against him and that… Garnered him something, finally… A smile and a chrotle from the back of your throat at the feeling as you were reaching to the highest Heavens now to get your senses back. “N-need to know before I go…” “Don’t say that.” Noa was firm and kissed your lids slowly before dragging his face down to hover parallel to yours. “Please… Soona… Mother…”

“I’m sor…sorry for everything.” Coughing again, you were fast to bring your entire body upwards as a reaction to the shooting pain that was lining along your ribcage. Noa moved with you as one, grasping at your back and keeping you sitting up. “No… Where I’d rather be than wit… with you… Right now.” “Stay with me…” “I’m so tired, though…” Noa slid the hand from your back to hold the back of your neck so he was able to stay face to face with you as you leaned against his good shoulder, taking in the delicious way that your body so willingly conformed against his own. “I ha… had dreams… earlier…”

Noa felt his jaw twitch watching in wasteful sorrow as your mouth fell ajar, breathing slowly and softly for him. “Tell me… Everything…”

“About us,” Blood was seeping from your mouth, Noa swallowing hard as with each word, a bit more came down and coated at your throat. “Y… think we cou… Could have… made it?”

“Always.” The Ape was so self-assured with that as he drew his mouth against yours, barely grazing, barely indented but it was there and your lips responded every so flatteringly to the motion. As quick as he was there, Noa was pulling away with your blood against his lips. “I need… you to stay with me here… Please…” He whimpered.

“Y.. know… I never… Felt romantic love…”

“(Name).”

Cracking the smallest of smiles that were thrusted with nothing more than bloodied intentions garnered in the heat of saving someone you loved, you laughed bitterly. “You… made me re… really see it… Feel…” The fingers that you had in his fur carded themselves once more as if you were savoring the feeling for the last time, “Noa… I can… Can’t thank you enough fo…”

“Please.” “Say it to me… Please…”

Noa snarled at you, not intentionally but out of slacked self control. “Not until you come back to me completely…” “Yo… you stubborn Ape.” Laughing again hurt as you drew your body into his own, your chest collapsing against Noa’s scorned fur there.

“Yo… You know how I feel.” Noa was quiet as you tucked your face into his neck and sniffled lightly. “You ar… Were meant to be mine, you cannot leave… me like this…”

“You kn-know how… I feel…” Your voice was muffled against his thickened fur as you squeezed your eyes shut at the feeling of pressure inside of your chest. “Mated…” “Always.” “Yo-You would take me as a Human?”

“Human?” Noa asked and shook his head adamantly at your choice of words. “You are my Echo… and I will take you… Part of my Clan, part of me…” Looking up, he caught eyes with Soona and Dar who were now just coming up the embankment and captivated a look of approval at their arrival. “I will be with you… You need to stay with me…”

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TAG LIST:

@ohwaitimthewriter @hera-annwn @saturnnie-03 @filliandkili @hadesbabygurl @supergoat12 @moonchild1433

@kaenalsha @unsteady-bitch @whamsworld

@yummyfanta @nuhteyam @babylockley @edynmeyer1 @callsignwidow @moonlightnyx @undecidedcookie

#noa #noa x reader #pota #planet of the apes #kotpota #kingdom of the planet of the apes #planet of the apes x reader #owen teague #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader

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rosesareredrosa · 3 months ago

Text

Endless Again

Mattheo Riddle x fem reader

Summary: A love that has turned into a cycle of fights and makeups. Y/N reflects on how they first met and how their love blossomed, but also how things started to go wrong

w/c: 931

The door slammed shut behind him, the sound like a gunshot in the stillness of the room. My heart seized in my chest, every beat echoing in the silence that followed. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Not again.

I sank onto the couch, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on me, crushing the breath from my lungs. How many times had we been here? How many times had I watched him walk away, only to come back like a storm I couldn’t escape?

“You just made the worst mistake, and you’ll regret it, darling,” rang in my mind, a cruel reminder of the endless cycle we were trapped in. Every time we fought, every time we tore each other apart, I swore it would be the last time. But it never was. I always let him back in, clinging to the hope that maybe this time would be different.

But it never was.

“’Cause once you give and then you take, you’ll only end up wanting…”

I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at the roots as if the pain could distract me from the chaos inside my head. Mattheo had always been a mystery, an enigma wrapped in shadows. From the moment we met, I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, unable to resist the pull of his dark, brooding presence. But that same intensity that set my soul on fire was slowly burning me alive.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to drown out the memories that flooded my mind. The way he looked at me when we first met, as if I were the only person who existed in his world. The way his touch could send shivers down my spine, making me feel more alive than I ever had. But with that passion came a price—a never-ending cycle of love and destruction that left me shattered every time.

The first time we broke up, it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, leaving nothing but a gaping wound that refused to heal. He had come back, whispering apologies and empty promises, and like a fool, I let him in. We’d always been stronger together, I told myself. But now, as I sat alone in the suffocating silence, I wasn’t so sure.

“Was everything you ever said, was everything you ever did… true?”

The question gnawed at me, consuming every rational thought. Had anything between us ever been real, or had we just been fooling ourselves, clinging to a love that was as toxic as it was intoxicating? I had always wanted to believe that I knew him, that I was the one person who could see past the walls he built around himself. But now, I wasn’t so sure.

The door creaked open, and I flinched, my heart leaping into my throat. Mattheo stood in the doorway, his expression hard to read. He was always so composed, so controlled, but tonight, there was something different in his eyes—something broken.

He stepped into the room, the tension between us palpable. “I’m sorry,” he said, the words barely audible, as if they were choking him.

“And I can’t get you out of my brain…”

I stared at him, my mind racing, desperate to find the right words. But what could I say? That I wanted to believe him? That I wanted to believe that this time, his apology meant something? But deep down, I knew the truth. We were going in circles, trapped in a cycle we couldn’t break free from.

“Mattheo,” I whispered, my voice trembling, “we can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep hurting each other like this. It’s tearing us apart.”

His eyes flickered with something—guilt, regret, maybe even fear—but he didn’t move closer. Instead, he looked away, his jaw tightening as if he was fighting back everything he wanted to say but couldn’t. “I know,” he murmured, his voice raw. “But I don’t know how to stop.”

The silence between us was suffocating, every second stretching into eternity. I wanted to reach out, to pull him close, to tell him that we could figure this out, that we could find a way to make it work. But I couldn’t. Because I wasn’t sure if I believed it myself anymore.

Without another word, Mattheo turned and walked out the door, leaving it to close softly behind him this time. I stood there, staring at the space where he’d been, my heart shattering all over again.

“But I just keep on coming back to you…”

I wanted to scream, to cry, to tear the world apart because it felt like that’s what was happening inside me. I had given him everything—my heart, my soul, my very being—and yet it was never enough. We were never enough.

But as much as I wanted to believe that this was the end, deep down, I knew I was already waiting for the next time he’d walk back into my life. Because no matter how much it hurt, I couldn’t imagine a world without him in it.

“I never thought that I would see you again…”

The tears finally came, hot and relentless, as I collapsed onto the couch, burying my face in my hands. Maybe this was the end. Maybe this was the last time. But even as I thought it, a part of me knew it wasn’t. Because love like ours didn’t just end—it destroyed everything in its path until there was nothing left.

And maybe that was the worst part of all.

#slytherin x reader #slytherin boys #angst #angst with a sad ending #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo x you #mattheo x y/n #mattheo x reader #slytherin #mattheo angst

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dorcas4meadowes · 10 months ago

Note

could you do a luke fic where an apollo kid reader teaches him how to play guitar?(and maybe sing together) also i love your works🫶

Taught Strums

Pairing - Luke Castellan x Apollo!reader

W/c - 1.5

Master list

A/n: you are so sweet ml <33

✧༺༻∞ ✧༺༻∞ ✧༺༻∞

Attempting to engage a handful of demigod children proved to be tedious. It was more tempestuous than a quest ever could ever be. You were exceedingly grateful for your students' inherent abilities to produce music, but it sounded as pleasant as a group of seven could on untuned guitars.

This was the most demanding part of your mornings, seeking out gratitude amongst the ringing noises. You woke with the desire to teach and would leave feeling mildly accomplished, but mostly drained. You loved your siblings, but they had demonstrated to be rather difficult.

You moved your brother’s grip to grasp a chord and allowed a gentle note to caress your ears.

“When can I learn a song?” He asked, strumming gently against his instrument.

“You keep this up and maybe by the weekend.” You replied with a soft smile.

“Really!?” The small blonde you assisted, beaming at his success.

You wouldn’t admit to favourites amongst your siblings, but the Solace boy raised your spirits.

Your sister called for your assistance and you were once again whisked away to help, oblivious to the eyes that remained on your applicable frame.

Your boyfriend was at the dining pavilion playing a distracted game of cards, his gaze gently on you. He watched you lean forward, the beads around your neck slipping over your shirt, his sight set on an additional emblem that graced the thread around your neck and his. Few campers had nostalgic pieces adorned to their threads, Annabeth had her fathers college ring, a few of the demeter kids had resin pressed flowers, but you and Luke shared a small stone carving a Lyre. It represented your gift, your love and the ever dreamt of Elysium. The charm is a constant affirmation of who you belonged to and who he would seek out in the depths of Tartarus.

“Luke,” Chris gestured, having to repeat his name to gather his attention, “your play man.” He mindlessly set out a card and let his gaze return back to your attentive grasp, soaking in your warmth. He couldn’t help but dismiss the meaningless game when you were near, he was like a moth to a flame, your fire slowly making his other priorities melt.

“Dude just go.” Connor took the pile of cards back and began to shuffle them, a few of them floating on the ground.

Luke didn’t have to be told twice and let the invisible guide between you tug him to your presence, to your sweet smile and gentle hands. His inherent nature was dependent on you, he was forever reaching out.

“Hi Luke,” a few of your siblings chorused, your head turning at his arrival.

“Bad time?” He asked.

“Just a minute,” you replied, turning to your sister. While you assisted the girl your siblings instantly flocked to Luke, asking questions about swords and fighting, the real world and about anything that came to their small minds.

As to your promise you salvaged him from your pestering - loving - siblings, explaining that practice was to be finished later, leaving them with a guitar’s neck in your grasp.

“Where to, ‘Lucy Gray’?” he asked, his calloused hands finding yours.

“You’ll see.”

The sun followed wherever your feet trailed, an ever glowing halo making your skin warm to the touch, Luke forever in the palm of your hand. You led him towards the lake, just to where the stones met the lush grass and blanketed at the base of an Oak tree, a seat woven from the flora and roots.

The plants saved you from your troubles and moulded around you, sculpting against your body and Luke’s alike, your guitar resting in your lap. Your eyes flickered to the splash of Naiads who retreaded under the rush of waves, the women’s tails snapping against the tension of the water, and letting it ripple against the tide. You turned your gaze to Luke, who’s never left yours. Your boyfriend had a tendency to stare, his mind would buzz and his head would tilt a little, but you couldn’t sustain contact for as long as he could, so you turned to your instrument.

The notes your fingers strum were pure and resonant and echoed through the stillness. Your fingers pulled across the strings with ease while you let a soft hum leave your lips, a whisper to the passing breeze.

You had a gift, distinguishable from your siblings. Children of Apollo had a tendency to lean towards the liberal arts, but you could manipulate sound like none of your siblings. The gift came after a rather uneventful evening in Olympus, Apollo was feeling bored and after your generous offerings he decided to grant you with the ability to hypnotise through your music. Your art tempted people, it made them forget their own names, it was a temporary trip from their troubles and had them craving your sound, fumbling under your voice.

Luke was not immune to your gifts and he adored them greatly. With you beside him he could appreciate his surroundings, the music pushing his stresses into the background.

“Can you sing?” He asked, his tone gentle. This was his request any time an instrument was in reach.

You smiled at his question, he still made you feel needed after years of people’s pleading. Your fingers smoothly eased between chords and began to play a song which plagued your mind, the lullaby which kept you at ease and proved your love is yours, all yours.

Moon a hole of light

Through the big top tent up high

Shinin’ down on me

The words rolled off your tongue with ease and were sent directly to Luke, slipping through his entire body. You fingers continued to toy with the strings and he continued to lean towards your presence, becoming completely in awe with you once again.

My baby, here on earth

Showed me what my heart was worth

So, when it comes to be my turn

He felt as if the words were crafted for him, each strum and pluck had him in mind, that the choreography of your fingers embraced him. It felt that way at least.

'Cause my love is mine, all mine

I love mine, mine, mine

Nothing in the world belongs to me

You lingered on the last note and then changed your grip and speed, confusing the brunette. Your hands trailed up the instrument then stopped looking over to him, setting the guitar beside you and nearing closer to him, resting your legs over his and pulling the instrument into your grip once more. You pushed the head in his direction which he graciously took then plucked at one of the strings, a painful sound from his flicking.

“Here.” You took his hand and settled it above the strings, his arm resting against the pure wood waiting for instruction. Your fingers climbed over his and delicately plucked at the string closest to him, pulling at it in a repeated manner. Once he grasped it you leant over to his other hand to linger between a few frets, the pattern continuous and difficult for his feeble fingers.

“Mhm, just like that,” you praised, your words lightening his view. He continued to pluck the strings and move his other hand, occasionally forgetting his next move which he picked up easily.

Once he became comfortable with the pattern he noticed your hands underneath his, playing a more complex tune. The two sounds - out of time - familiar to him.

You had shifted so you were practically in his lap and spoke “Ready?” To which he nodded, he would always be ready for you. You started, him following sourly after you, you slowed a little gaining motion with him.

“What is it?” He asked, his fingers messing up, his lips letting out a soft hum.

In your response you sung the chorus in time lowly.

I heard he lives down a river somewhere

With six cars and a grizzly bear

He's got eyes, but he can't see

Well he talks like an angel, but he looks like me

He smiled sweetly, still out of pace, but his dimples showed for your accomplished work. His soft curls fell over his gaze, obstructing him slightly, but he didn’t mind, he enjoyed the simple pleasures as your hands brushed against one another, his lips buzzing a soft sound.

I heard you sold the Amazon

To show the country that you're from

Is where the world should want to be

You both choked out verses and let your voice guide his. He was not a child of Apollo - his voice cracks were questionable - but it was sweet being amongst one another with no other priorities.

When Luke’s fingers became numb he relaxed into your side, his curls tickling your neck and soft breath hitting your skin. You continued to toy at the strings and drifted between a piece you’ve been working on and trying to memorise.

You were a ballad and he was dyslexic, your relationship was a constant blur.

✧༺༻∞ ✧༺༻∞ ✧༺༻∞

Tag-list

@prettyinsatiable @daisydark @creamsweets @auttumnsayshi @ashr0 @y0urm0m12 @2hiigh2cry @niktwazny303

#luke castellan #luke castellan fluff #luke castellan imagines #luke castellan x reader #pjo x you #pjo x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #riawrites

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rierice8 · 1 year ago

Text

Last words of an old flame

Thank you for 100 followers guyss!! I was supposed to post a scara fic a long while back but I’ve been pretty busy, but then the next time I opened tumblr I had 100 followers?! So I decided to dedicate this scara fic to that milestone. Thanks a ton guys! And sorry for the long wait, this fic is super angsty too- OOPS! Turns out liquid smooth is not the kind of music I should write smut too…

Word count: 1921

Ftm Scaramouche/wanderer x male reader

TW: heavy mentions of memory loss, angst, degradation, semi public sex (forest), creampie, blowjob

You don't quite know when you’d first felt like this.

Perhaps it was as you saw him for the first time, sitting way up high, far from the busy bustling streets of Sumeru with that dejected look on his face. Or maybe it was as you caught another glimpse of the strange man as you were studying the forest, drenched from the summer heat. It could have been when you first spoke with him, calling him out for seemingly following you. Maybe it was as you spoke the second time, or the third. It could have been as he and you got closer, maybe as you played in the shallow waters of a nearby stream as a way to cool off. Perhaps it was his perfect physique, the way the water made his shirt stick against his torso, his muscles accented by the sleeveless black fabric. His hair dripping against his face and his sly smirk as he forces water your way.

But you don’t think it matters when you started feeling this way. Because it feels good. Too good.

Sitting alone in your room, fingers wrapped around your cock as you grunt and throw your head back to the thought of him. Skilfully going up and down to the rhythm you imagine pounding the man with. Staring at the pictures of him you took with your kamera, precum leaking down your cock. It was like your skin was on fire, though if it was really his touch it would feel all the better. You were completely unravelled all while thinking of him.

Him.

…

Who is he again?

It's been days, or maybe weeks since you’ve seen him. But who was he? You rack your brain yet you can't seem to remember his name, looking through your memory there seem to be blank places, places where his face should be. He meant so much to you, you know that much. He was your world, your light.

What was his name again?

Months go past and you’re sitting, face in your knees, photographs with what seems like blurs of what was a man all across the floor. It was like someone forced him from your memory. You were starting to forget the memories you shared. All that was left was the feeling. It was like sparks lighting against your skin, or that's what you remember it as, at least. A burning desire, a passion, a love for this…figure. This blur. If you didn’t know any better, it felt like someone had forcefully cut out his face from your memory. You miss him so.

Miss him?

Who again?

You walked down the streets of Sumeru city in the summer heat, buying some herbs for your morning tea.

“Thanks again for the windwheel asters, they’re so hard to get here!” You exclaimed. The salesman smiled and said it was nothing as you waved goodbye and set off again. Your next stop was the flower store, which brought you an immediate sense of dread, as it always does. The flowers made you think of something, but you don't know what. It's the same empty patch that kills you every time. You shake your head in an attempt to fix your thoughts.

There.

Your head darted upwards. A man you’d never seen before sat on the roof of some building. You’d never seen before? Yea… never before. His eyes were focused on you. You made direct eye contact with the stranger who sat above you. Who was he?

“Who are you?” You yelled up to the wanderer.

He looked at you cynically before letting out a ‘tsk’ and standing up, preparing to leave.

“No please! Tell me, I swear I must have met you before, something feels wrong about you,” you begged him. He slid down the side of the building before grabbing your arm and dragging your shocked self away from the busy roads. You didn’t question his antics, only following him deeper and deeper into the forests to the sides of the big city. His indigo hair flowing in the wind, his left hand holding his hat down to his head, pale shimmering skin holding your hand tight. He didn’t break a sweat from all the running, so you tried not to either, as not to embarrass yourself. Besides, you were quite well versed in combat, both with and without your vision. Yet running this far and long seems impossible with human stamina.

“Stop please,” you panted. He immediately stopped running and let go of your arm. You stumbled backwards and ended up falling over. He stood above you and cried,

“HOW CAN YOU TELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW!”

You shuffled yourself backwards and away from the angry man. What did you know?

“I don't know…I’m sorry. Who are you even, I feel like I’ve known you but whenever I try to think of you nothing comes up and it makes my blood boil!” You said shakely, eyes wide open. The mystery man took a step back, stumbling slightly as he covered his mouth with his hand and his eyes went glassy. As if realisation has struck him through the heart and it hurt.

“I love you,” he trembled out.

“You don't even know me?”

He knelt down to place himself on top of you, caressing your cheek with his burning palms. Pulling you into a kiss. Like habit you kissed back. He moved his lips against yours and like habit you closed your eyes and sighed into his mouth. He slid his tongue into your mouth and, like habit, you let him. His touch felt oh so familiar, like you’d felt it a million times before. As though the was he touched you was the same as the past. Like he was the missing piece in your memory.

You broke the kiss panting and staring wide eyed.

“Just who are you,” you whispered as you lent your head against his shoulder.

“Everything you do feels so right, but I can’t remember you.” He smiled, a sad smile, a small smile, but a smile nonetheless.

“I want you, my love,” he said with half lidded eyes.

And like habit,

You said yes.

Against a tree, deep in the forest, you ravaged this man who you’ve loved so much, yet who has been burnt from your memory. He stared up at you as his mouth worked your tip and his hands worked the base of your cock. Eyes tear filled yet perfect, seeming as though they were begging you to use his mouth as you pleased. Every time you moved slightly he’d moan around your cock, sending vibrations throughout your whole body. It was intoxicating, the way his pink lips worked so skilfully and as though they’ve been there before. As if they knew everything that made you come undone. You grabbed his head by his hair and forced him to take you all the way. He gagged before grabbing your thigh and letting you move his head as you pleased. His occasional moans were enough to get you burning on the inside, aching for him. Pulling him off your dick, he whined before you pulled him off the floor and pulled his shorts and panties right down. You lifted one of his legs above your shoulder to support him better before shoving a finger into his wet pussy, not needing any lube from how wet he already was. You pumped that one finger in and out of him slowly, painfully. You watched his face as he squirmed in pain.

“Hahh~ more, faster…please?” He moaned out.

You smiled at him as you pushed in one more finger and started moving them faster.

“Someone’s already all stretched out, like a good slut. I’m sure you were thinking of me a lot, hmm? Not being able to tell me who you are or show yourself really got to you, bad little whore.” You whispered into his ear.

“Mmfh! It- ah! It was so hard! I missed you too much~ ngh!” He groaned. You pulled your fingers out and licked them clean while staring him in the eye. You closed in and kissed him, letting him taste himself from your mouth. You moved down along his chest, giving him little hickeys and kisses along his whole neck and collar.

“Please…put it inside.” He begged. You smiled as you followed his begs. Aligning your dick with his sopping pussy before pushing in. It was almost like he was made for you, fitting you perfectly inside him. He moaned out loud and pulled your head down to his chest. You started moving, fast straight away, having no patience left to tease the wanderer anymore.

“Fuck, I feel as though I’ve done this before. Have I? Why don't you be a good little cock slut and tell me everything?” You say as you pull his hair so that he faces you.

“I- ah!! I can’t tell you~ mhfg, fuck me oh archons!” He whined. You furrowed your brows and sped up. Even now he couldn’t open his mouth.

Even now you were left in the dark.

You kissed him violently, smashing your lips together as you pounded his small frame and trailed your free hand up to twist and pinch his nipples. He moaned into your lips and you did nothing but speed up again. Chasing your own high.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum!” He moaned out.

“Then cum, slut.” And he did. He let out a long moan as he tried to close his legs, but you kept them open and continued so that you could feel release too.

“I can't any more n- no! Too sensitive~ ah!” He moaned, but you ignored his pleas.

“I don't even know your name yet I feel like I’ve fucked you senseless a million times. Yet you seem to know me so well, plastering yourself on me like some cheap whore,” you said, accentuating each word with a sharp thrust. The wanderer was a mess beneath your arms now. Crying and moaning at how good it feels.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum,” you groan.

“Cum inside me- ngh!! Ah yes, please!!” He whined and begged. You smiled and nodded slightly, after all, you couldn’t refuse such a good boy. With a few more thrusts you came inside him, filling his pussy up with your cum. You stayed like that for a moment as you caught your breath.

“I wish I knew who you were, you know,” you sighed. The wanderer looked away from you, in a solemn way.

“And I wish I could tell you, but even if I did, you still wouldn’t remember me.” He whispered almost inaudibly. You sighed again and pulled out. The man gasped at the sudden emptiness. You pulled your own clothes back on before helping him out and dressing him again. You then picked him up and carried him back to yours.

As you came home, you lay him down in bed alongside you, already knowing that he would be gone before you next opened your eyes. But you silently prayed that he’d still be there. Yet before you fell asleep, you stared at him, letting all the details you’d long forgotten sink back in.

“I forgot how beautiful you were,” you smiled.

He said nothing in return, just blankly stared at you.

“I’m sorry.”

In the morning he was gone. Just as you’d predicted, any trace of him vanished, all that was left were his words echoing in your mind.

The last words of an old flame.

#im sorry guys #genshin impact #smut #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin #scaramouche genshin x reader #wanderer x reader #scaramouche smut #wanderer smut #scaramouche angst #wanderer angst #sub genshin #sub scaramouche #male reader

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wordsofelie · 3 months ago

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Chapter 6

🔥Phoenix and Ashes

Suna Rintarou x f!reader

Summary: “It’s funny how nobody believed that we could make it work.” - “Well-maybe they were right.”

Meeting Suna Rintarou wasn’t part of your plan. Dating him, either. Getting your heart smashed into the palms of his hand, even less.

Content Warnings: Timeskip, Manga Spoilers, Cursing, Panick Attack, Hurt, Mention of 1 Original Character

Word count: 4.1k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9

The first crack appears on a Friday night.

“You’re overthinking.”

You are sitting on Suna’s dorm bed. He just came out of the bathroom, his hair is still wet and the smell of his shampoo embalms the room. In any other situation, this would warm your heart and make you want to pull him into a tight embrace, breathing in his scent. But not right now. All you are focused on is his cold expression and detached look.

“I’m sorry,” you start apologising. “I guess I just hoped we would spend the whole weekend together.”

“We’re spending it together. I’ll be with you even if my friends are here.” You can sense the annoyance in his voice, after all, you have been arguing for the past twenty minutes but the conversation is still at the same point: you want to spend the evening with him alone; he had planned to introduce you to his friends in their favourite bar in Hiroshima. The issue here is that in the middle of the argument when he thought he had finally convinced you that his intentions were never against you, you asked him if he was bored with you. You saw the intensity in his eyes shift and since then you can’t find their softness back even after he decided to take a shower to cool his mind.

You know how Suna hates losing his time justifying himself, let alone when he doesn’t understand what he is accused of. The fear of bothering him now mixed with the guilt of pissing him off is strangling you.

“Do whatever you want to do. I’m going anyway.”

He puts his shirt on, back faced to you. You grab the sheets instinctively.

He is taller and broader than when you met him. You remember hiding in the library stacks, telling jokes and giggling at the thought of being caught. You remember watching him during practice, getting up to give him his bottle as soon as the whistle signalled the end of the game. He would thank you and smile. And above anything else, he would look at you, soft and green eyes drowning in yours. This seems like ages ago. When have you started being behind him instead of at his side? When have you faded into the background? Unnoticed. Soundless. You thought Suna had set a fire around him and promised to never let a flame touch you. It’s touching you now.

You look at your clenched fists. Your fingers are becoming ashes.

“I’m coming.”

Umi would scream at you, Osamu would tell you to stay.

He still loves me, you would tell them. Don’t worry.

You’re fast to join him by the door, he lets you go out first.

When you enter the bar, you’re overwhelmed by the crowd and the trembling of the floor. There are people everywhere, Suna tells you to follow him. It’s hard to hear him right, his voice is muffled by the music and the chatters. As you walk in, a wave of anxiety washes over you. This place seems so familiar to Suna, it makes you feel like an outsider stepping into someone else’s world.

“Isn’t it Rin’s girl?”

You don’t realise you’re surrounded by a group of boys until one of them calls out to you. You’re used to sporty and beefy boys (your years in Inarizaki taught you that most of the time, they’re no threat), but you’re still impressed by Suna’s teammates. Your stomach tightens. Maybe it’s because of the proximity mixed with the smell of sweat and alcohol. Or maybe you just don’t like those eight pairs of eyes staring at you.

“I’ll go get you something,” Suna whispers into your ear.

You don’t have the time to go with him, he’s already lost in the crowd.

“So Rin’s girl, what do you like the most about our short middle?” The same guy who was the first to talk, asks you.

You’re about to answer (because there is indeed a long list of things you like about him, it might take the whole night to enumerate them), but he cuts you short and gets closer to you.

“Is it because he likes to play it cold, girls love bad boys. Or is it his eyes? Man, I’ve never seen that shade of green, so I understand, you like the-”

“Kakeru, let her breath.”

You’re thankful for that dark-haired guy who puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him from invading your personal space. Kakeru pouts in response and takes two steps back, allowing you to regain some peace.

“Sorry, Kakeru can be quite chaotic.”

“It’s fine.” You look down. The floor looks like it’s sticking from all the spilt drinks.

“I’m Hori Kento by the way, setter. How was the train from Osaka?”

How unusual for a setter to be this calm, you think. Well, maybe the only model you have being Atsumu, you thought all setters were supposed to be loud and boisterous and fearless.

“It was okay. Thanks for asking.”

He gives a quiet smile that put you at ease, even if just a little.

"You must be pretty special if Rin brought you here," Hori says, his eyes kind.

You chuckle softly, trying to shake off the awkwardness. "I hope so. This place is nice."

"Yeah, we come here a lot after games. It's kind of our spot," the setter explains.

As you chat with Hori, you notice Suna laughing with a girl across the room. She is leaning close, her hand lightly touching his arm. Your stomach twist in knots as you try to focus on the conversation, but your attention keeps drifting back to Suna and the girl.

“Hana-chan is here!”

One of the players shouts making Suna and the girl turn to the group, her smile is bright and perfect. She lights up the place.

“Hana, this is Rin’s girlfriend," Hori says, gesturing towards you. She’s standing in front of you now. She’s looking even more beautiful up close. Another wave of panic comes, you’re trying to look for Rintarou, but he is nowhere to be found. Your fingers manage to grasp the necklace hanging from your neck — it was your second-year anniversary present from Rin. You hold on to it.

"Hi! It’s so nice to meet you," she says, her voice warm and friendly. "I hope the boys aren’t bothering you too much.”

“Huh? We did nothing wrong Hana-chan, I swear.” Kakeru says in defense, she laughs.

"Nice to meet you too," you reply, trying to keep your voice steady. Inside, your heart sinks.

You finally catch sight of Suna, discussing with someone. You hope your stare will make him notice you.

"So, how did you and Rin meet?" Hana asks, genuinely curious.

"We went to high school together,"

"Oh, really? He never told me that," Hana says, looking surprised. It becomes clear that Suna hasn’t mentioned much about you to her. You want to leave this room, hide somewhere. "That's so sweet! You must have a lot of memories together."

"Yeah, we do," you reply, your smile feeling more forced by the second. You’re praying for the conversation to end here. In your ears, you can feel the beatings of your heart, the rushing of your blood. Your vision becomes blurry. You try to concentrate on your breathing to calm you down.

“Your neck is red.” She frowns in concern.

“Is it? I’ll go to the bathroom to-“

“Rintarou.”

She calls him, he immediately turns to her.

Why is he looking at her? Look at me, look at me. You’re begging him in silence.

“Your girlfriend looks really tired. Maybe you should take her home."

Suna glances over you. "Yeah, you okay?" he asks, walking over.

"I’m fine. Don’t worry," you reply, trying to keep your voice light. Your breathing has found a normal pace now that the boy you love is at your side. You try to get closer to feel him. You need to feel him or you might collapse.

“It’s getting really red, what if you’re allergic to something?”

“Hana-chan always cares about others, huh. Good thing you’re our manager. ” Hori interferes but it sounds like a far noise to you in the middle of this chaos. Your mind is reeling. “But she’s right, you should be careful.”

"Let's get you home then," Suna says, putting his arm around your shoulders.

You only feel better once you’re outside. The ride home is quiet, Suna glancing at you occasionally. He only breaks the silence when you reach his dorm.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Suna looks at you, for a second you think he is trying to decipher whether or not you’re lying. You were never the kind to complain when something was wrong. But it was always easy with him. Tonight, it’s not. Some parts of you want him to ask for more, to listen to you, to tell you that everything is fine; because everything is fine. It has to be.

He changes into a clean tee-shirt and shorts, without saying a word. You’re standing in the middle of his room, waiting.

“I’m sorry I - I ruined the evening with your friends.”

“It’s fine, let’s go to bed now.”

“Rin…”

He slips into the sheets and opens his arms; your body moves towards the bed and lies down. He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him.

His body is so warm. As always. You discovered that the first night he slept at your house, your father had asked you to prepare him a futon, but behind his back your mother winked at you, giving you the choice to do whatever you wanted.

It was December and the cold seemed relentless, seeping through the walls and into your very being.

Rin, with his usual nonchalance, had shrugged off the cold initially, but you could see the slight shiver in his movements. You, on the other hand, couldn't stop your teeth from chattering. He glanced over at you.

"Come here," he said, his voice low. Without waiting for a response, he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly. You hesitated for a moment, feeling the heat radiating from his body, but soon melted into his embrace. His body temperature was surprisingly high, like he was a living furnace. The warmth spread through you almost instantly, driving away the biting chill of the night.

"Better?" he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. You nodded, nuzzling closer into the crook of his neck, where his scent was the strongest.

"Much better," you whispered back, feeling the tension ease out of your muscles.

Since then, you have loved when the temperatures dropped, because you knew you would find yourself instinctively curling up next to your boyfriend, seeking out his fiery heat.

In the summers, it was a different story. The heat made his embrace almost unbearable. You would wriggle and squirm, trying to escape his grip in the sweltering nights. But he would somehow always manage to pull you back, holding you close with a lazy grin.

"You're stuck with me," he would chuckle, his voice a sleepy rumble against the top of your head.

And, despite the heat, despite your protests, you would drift off in his arms.

Right now, you know he is not sleeping, and so are you.

You decide to try.

“You and Hana seem close…”

Is it a question? An accusation? You don’t even know. But it comes out of your mouth anyway. He heard you, you’re sure of it, yet he leaves you stranded.

After what feels like an eternity he finally asks, “is that why you wanted to go home?”

“No… but I’m sorry.”

You squeeze the hand that is resting on the curves of your hipbone. For a second, you muscles relax, and the brief release is enough for him to turn away, leaving you feeling utterly alone.

Your vision becomes blurry again, with tears this time.

You cry and think, it is the price to pay for loving him.

The second crack appears in April.

Today is the beginning of another spring.

You and Umi meet in front of Yokohama Stadium, you haven’t seen her in months due to her overloaded schedule. When she spots you, she starts running and waving at you.

“Oops, I’m late.” She scratches the back of her neck and grins.

“When are you not?”, you tease her.

Seeing her, healthier and brighter than ever, fills your heart with joy. She grabs your arm and leads you to the entrance.

“I was only late once for the entrance ceremony in high school, but that was because Atsumu had lost his tie and I helped him look for it. Not my fault.”

“And when we went to the school trip during our second year, huh?”

“Hmm…” She avoids your starring gaze, “Also Atsumu’s, we were having a conversation that morning and he-”

“He got on the wrong bus, so you had to walk the rest of the way.” You don’t let her finish her story, “I know the song, Umi.”

She sighs, “alright, alright. Whatever you think.”

You start laughing but don’t let her go away with it. As you remember more and more moments, Umi begs you to stop before finally admitting that you might (but just might) be right.

"Hey! I’m so glad you could make it," a soft voice says.

You turn to see who is speaking. And there she is. Hana, dressed in the same jumpsuit as Suna. You return her smile, though your eyes are already searching for your boyfriend among the players stepping off the bus.

“I-nice to see you. This is Umi, my best friend. She lives in Tokyo. Umi, this is Hana, the team manager.”

Hana greets her warmly, but you must give Umi a little nudge in the ribs for her to greet back.

“Hi.” She decides to say with a smile you can only describe as forced.

When you finally see Suna, your heart skips a beat. You make your way over, excusing yourself to Hana and Umi. You’re hoping for a brief moment to talk before the game. But as you approach, his gaze slides past you. He saw you, you know he did, so why didn’t he come to you? Or smile. Or at least wave.

You don’t feel Umi’s presence by your side until she speaks, “Oh my God, that girl is so annoying. She was like, blabla, ‘I’m so grateful for all the support the boys are receiving, thank you for coming to cheer for them.’ As if I care about them. Nothing against Suna, but I’m only here because I wanted to see you and Shirabu is too annoying these days, I needed to escape my apartment.”

You register the words and the way she tries to imitate Hana’s voice; however you don’t find the courage to respond.

“Are you okay?” She asks, perplexed when you don’t answer.

You nod, but the hurt lingers.

“Let’s go.” You break the silence absentmindedly.

You both head to the stands, though your excitement has dampened. As you’re about to sit down, you turn to Umi. “I’m going to the toilets. I’ll be right back.”

You don’t give her the time to stop you and rushes to the lockers room to wait for Suna. When he emerges, his expression is one of surprise.

“Oh hey,” he starts with a lazy voice, “I did not know you would come. It’s cool to see you.”

“Rin I- can we talk a little bit?”

“I can’t right now, the game is about to start,” he says curtly, trying to brush past you.

“Please.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“I just wanted to wish you good luck,” you explain, your voice barely above a whisper.

He glances down at you, a flicker of something—incomprehension? frustration?—crossing his eyes. “Is that it? You could have just texted me.”

Speechless, you let your gaze drop to the floor, where you notice a thin cotton bracelet around his right ankle. “What’s that?” you ask, pointing to it.

Suna sighs, clearly irritated. “It’s a present from Hana.”

A lump forms in your throat. “Of course it is,” you mutter, the words tasting bitter.

Before you can say anything more, he brushes you off. “I have to go.”

“Do you still love me?”

The question was eating you alive, it was becoming insufferable. So, the words leave your lips searching for something (a soft caress, a ‘I do’).

He clicks his tongue.

And a second later, the love of your life walks away. The corridors are empty.

When the game begins, you find your way back to the stands. The crowd roars with excitement, but you can barely focus on what is in front of you. Umi tries to engage you in conversation, but your mind is elsewhere.

The EJP Raijin wins against the VC Kanagawa in the quarterfinals of the V.League playoff matches. The final point is made through an impressive block by Suna, and his team erupts in joy, lifting him high in celebration. Umi applauds (probably not for Suna’s action but because the cheers are contagious), but you find yourself unable to do so.

“I’m so hungry, aren’t you hungry?” you’re taken aback by her question.

You quickly swallow the tears that have been stuck in your throat and force a smile. “Yeah, a little bit,” you lie.

“We should go back to my apartment,” Umi suggests and takes your hand to get up. “We can stop by your favourite sushi place in Shinjuku and get some takeaways. And then we can watch a movie, you pick. Or play some Mario kart.”

You glance one last time at Suna, he is high fiving his manager. Before you explode, you decide that Umi’s idea is not so bad.

Later that night, as you ride the subway in Tokyo (Umi fell asleep, her head on your shoulder), Rintarou sends you a text.

“where are you?” it reads.

“I left with Umi.”

“you could have texted me,” he replies, echoing his earlier words. You apologize, and after a few minutes, another message comes through.

“i don’t think you should come next weekend.” Then “i need some time to think”

The finality of his words hits you like a punch to the gut. At the same moment, you receive a text from Osamu with a picture of his twin eating onigiri (with rice all over the mouth). “Did Suna’s team win? Want to come with me to Atsumu’s game in Chiba next weekend? I guess you’ll be in Hiroshima but if I can convince you just know that I’ll make us some bento for the train :)”

Your fingers tremble but you text him back, “sure.”

It’s not like you have other options now.

You don’t read his next message because you’re interrupted by a whisper, “You deserve better.”

Umi’s eyes are still close, but you know she is awake.

You’re too tired to contradict her even though you think she is wrong. Maybe hope is blurring the lines, but Rin is the one who deserves better. And from now on, you will have to put extra efforts in your relationship to keep him. Because he is worth it all. Even if you are almost chosen by Suna, almost loved, you’ll keep on choosing him. Over and over again.

The third crack appears one morning.

The sky is beautiful and once again you’re on your way to Hiroshima.

You are not supposed to join him, but you do it anyway.

You take the first train of the day. Your carriage is quiet and almost empty. The sun rises before your eyes. It’s a tranquil scene. The sea calm and just woken, rays of sun sparkling on the water, the foam coming and going in waves. How wonderful this place must be, you think. It’s unfair that your mind can’t find peace. Only Rintarou lives in the depths between your thoughts, leaving no room for anything else. You bury your face in your hands. You want him. He means so much to you, maybe more than he should. Maybe more than your own life.

You make it to his dorm, the neighbourhood is the same as before sans all the agitation from the children playing and students chatting.

You take a moment before knocking. You don’t remember raising your fist to the door, nonetheless, your boyfriend appears in front of you like a mirage.

He stays silent for a second, opening and closing his lips a few times.

“What are you doing here?”

His eyes are barely open, he squints to adapt to the light or to adapt to your presence. Maybe both. His hair, shorter than before, falls out at the end, something uniquely Rin.

“I…I took the train and I came here and-”

He opens the door wide and abruptly; you startle to the sound of it hitting the wall.

Each step is heavy as you come inside with him.

When he speaks again, there’s anger in his voice, you find yourself missing how detached and lazy his tone usually is.

“I told you not to come this weekend.”

“I know, Rin.” You simply answer, with a broken voice. Your lips are shaking, and you don’t think you will be able to say more.

His look becomes sharper. He shakes his head. “Then why are you here?”

“I wanted to see you.” You whisper, you thought he did not hear you but when he grunts back, you immediately regret your words.

You take a step forward; your hands raise in urge to cup his face but his whole body becomes stiff, making you stop.

“You should leave.” His back is now faced to you but can imagine the features of his face (tense, strained).

You ignore him, “can we talk first, please.”

“I don’t want to.”

When you don’t answer, don’t move, he decides to finally turn again, his frustration evident. You’re getting on his nerves.

A glass falls on the floor. Probably caused by his sudden movement. It makes a sharp crash. The sound reverberates through the room. Without thinking, you get down to clean up the shards, your hands moving on autopilot. As you gather the broken pieces, a jagged edge slices your palm, but the pain doesn’t register immediately.

“I’ll take care of it. Go home.”

But you’re my home, your guts scream.

Your faces are close now, on the same level.

You open your month to beg him to let you stay, even a morning, even an hour. You would accept anything really. But instead, you’re paralysed by his green eyes raising to meet yours.

“We should stop this.”

This? You ask yourself. Is your relationship of over three years, all your first times, all your i love you, only “this” to him?

“Why - why can’t we stay together?”

Maybe you got it wrong, maybe you just don’t understand the situation and he will explain everything to you. This is all just in your head. The floor is not crumbling beneath your feet, the walls aren’t falling down. The world is not burning.

“We just can’t.”

“I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?” Am I not good enough? You want to add but you’re too afraid of the answer.

“Nothing.”

“Rin, please I know we can make it work, give us a chan-”

He gets up suddenly. “I fucking can’t, okay. That’s just the way it is.”

At this moment, you would have given everything that matters to you not to hear what came after.

You, who wished so many times for Suna to tell you more, talk more, instead of giving short responses.

You thought words couldn’t hurt like silence does. It does. Nothing killed you like those three words did.

“Get over it.”

You getting over him? Oh but Suna, dear, that would take a lifetime.

You almost lose your balance, your shoulder presses against the kitchen counter to find some support. You don’t know where the strength comes from but you manage to get on your feet. You quickly hide your injured hand behind your back.

His morning alarm rings, it’s shrill but at least it covers your sobs. He is about to turn it down when you escape the room and leave.

The cool wind hits you. There are cherry blossoms all around you; shades of pink in the air, petals falling silently. Tomorrow, they will still be there. And the day after. And the day after. Until, they are not.

Nothing lasts forever.

Nor cherry blossoms. Nor love.

You hate yourself for only realising it now.

It hurts, gosh, it hurts.

But the worst is that despite the bleeding cuts and the broken heart, you love Suna Rintarou all the same.

Author notes: a lot of crying, i am sorry 🫠 btw i’m taking advantage of this chapter to remind you guys that you all deserve to be treated with love and respect (being almost chosen & almost loved is NOT OKAY)

take care 🫶🏻

Elie

taglist: @wolffmaiden, @obibiwan, @teyvatsunsets

58 notes · View notes

herlondonboy · 2 years ago

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7:3

Pairings: Wednesday Addams x platonic!reader / Enid Sinclair x platonic reader / Larissa Weems x platonic!reader

Summary: 7 reasons to go, 3 reasons to stay

Warnings: suicide, suicidal thoughts, vent fic I guess, so uh, like bcos I need validation 🫶 pure, unfiltered, angst. (Part two here) (Tagging: @lxtins @allisonsblog @wednesday-l0ver @capryuk @smolgayhooman @elduster because they said they’d read it x)

Word Count: 1.1k

Seven reasons to go, three reasons to stay. It honestly seems like such an easy answer, but if you add a zero onto the end of both numbers it becomes harder. Seventy reasons to go, thirty reasons to stay. You sat atop of this hill, resting your back against the oak tree. Weighing the reasons in your head made the pit in your stomach grow, but it needs to be soon.

1. You have no family.

In a fit of blind rage at eight, you set your house ablaze. The fire started in your parents bedroom where you, your mother and father and your little brother were. Larissa Weems, a family friend, was quick to aid you. She brought you to Nevermore and raised you like her own. It was abnormal for normie families to have Outcast children, but that just meant the Outcast gene laid dormant for a few generations. You didn’t speak to anyone for seven years after the incident.

Though Larissa was the closest thing you had to a family, she wasn’t your family and the kids at school liked to remind you of that.

2. The overwhelming anger.

Your nostrils flared as you watched the boy, whose name you never bothered to learn, called you an orphan for the umpteenth time that day. You clenched your fists, digging your nails into your palm until you felt blood rolling down. Pain makes you human, Larissa had said to you. Why wasn’t it working? A wolf pushed you and you struck him with flame covered fist. Your hand was burned onto his face and he hand to live in humiliation with that scar for the rest of his life.

The kids around you immediately dissipated and ran away from you. Then your roommate asked to switch dorms

3. People would finally care.

They don’t care until it’s too late. You knew this now, throwing the noose end of the rope over the highest branch that you could reach. You couldn’t even cry. Why would cry? Crying for the people that never even batted an eyelash at you. For he people that saw your pain and laughed in your face, dancing on what was left of your happiness, hoping to ruin it all for you. You can imagine the people that pushed you to this crying in each other’s arms as your body was lowered into the ground. Who do they think they are?

4. You hurt everyone you touched.

Larissa had pulled you into a hug when you came to her office sobbing. You were hesitant to accept it, but you did in the end. You remember her scream and push you away. It haunted your nightmares every. Single. Night. You looked down at your hands and your eyes widened at the melted fabric on your palms. She told you that it was all right and that she was just shocked, but you didn’t believe her.

You began using weird techniques you’d read about in books from the library; sitting in the kitchen’s walk in freezer for as long as you could, taking ice baths, letting your anger out in a controlled environment.

5. The dreams.

Waking up drenched in sweat and covered in a crisp duvet was not your forte. In fact, waking up wasn’t your forte. Your family coming back from the dead to berate you, blame you. They wanted to kill you back. Your brother showing you what could’ve been, what would’ve been, what should’ve been him. A dashing you man, your mother had said before casting her eyes over you in disgust. You wanted to apologise, but that didn’t deserve it. They should have to beg you for forgiveness. The world should have to beg you for your forgiveness. And it would have if you really wanted it to. You had the power to burn the world to ash.

6. You’d stop being a burden.

Larissa Weems already had a whole school of children to deal with. And, though she didn’t say it, you knew having you in her office for breakfast, lunch, and dinner was bothering her. You didn’t want to admit it, but you grew to like her presence, so instead of staying cooped up in your room, you stayed cooped up in her office. You’d get short, curt answers when asking something and you took that as a hint.

7. Eternal peace.

You’d be free from all your suffering. You’d be dead, you’d be gone. There’s no analogy for this reason. It’s just a fact. You wanted to be gone, that’s all.

But now the reasons to stay.

1. Your Larissa.

She really was your family. The reason you were still alive right now, but it was proving not to be enough. You just hoped that she didn’t blame herself for this. She had saved you and protected you for as long as she could, but now it was down to you. You had to make a decision and it led to you tightening the rope around the trunk of the tree.

2. The people that liked your company.

You had met Enid Sinclair in your fourth year of solitude since you’d come to Nevermore. She walk talkative and it was nice for the both of you. She liked having someone that listened to her ranting and you liked listening to someone talk to you without belittling your feelings. Then you met Wednesday on your 16th birthday, three years later. She was Enid’s roommate and you were scared that Wednesday was going to take her away from you. But that’s not what happened. Soon in days where you waited for Enid in her dormitory, you found yourself enjoying the silence between you. It wasn’t that Enid’s rambling was annoying, but silence was nice every once in a while. Lastly, you met Eugene. He reminded you of your little brother, predominantly the good parts of him. He was a perfect mix of Wednesday and Enid. You loved hearing about his bees and how his mom’s were doing. You adored reading books with him in the library. He helped you get over your fear of yourself.

3. Life.

Sure, you hated life. But there were fun times like when you were five, on your father’s shoulders as he ran through the forest by Nevermore. Or on your fifteen birthday when Enid and Larissa threw you a surprise party in your dorm where’re the three of you danced the night away. Not to mention when you made Eugene laugh. A smile graced your face the whole day after hearing him cackle at a note you gifted to him. Even if it go you kicked out from the library.

It was moments like that that you craved.

But you didn’t get much more because here you were, standing on a stool as you put your head through the noose. Just as you strained to kick the stool away, you heard a scream.

“No!” They said, but it was too late.

Wednesday was too late.

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urrockstar-xe · 1 year ago

Text

comfort - j.m x fem!reader

posted july 28th, 2023

this is purely something i wrote when i missed jj and needed his comfort but i feel bad abt being mia so i hope you enjoy also this gif does things to me

masterlist

wordcount: 0.7k

also this isnt proofread

“I don’t know that I’m made for this life” you spoke softly, watching the bonfire flames dance with the waves crashing in the distance. “What, like the pogue life?” JJ asked, lifting his gaze away from the fire to look at you.

The last 20 minutes had gone by where you and your sweet pogues had been sitting in almost complete silence outside of the usual sounds that come along around this time of night on the cut, so your words and JJ’s question had caught everyone’s attention.

Sarah lifted her head from John B’s shoulder, answering JJ’s question before you could yourself, “No, this life, in this world” she spoke with her soft gaze settled on you.

“With these feelings” you finished, giving her a soft smile.

JJ’s gaze remained on you, a clouded and almost dazed look on his face. You offered a small smile in return, knowing he probably was barely processing any of the words spoken as he had been drinking and smoking all night.

John B spoke up to hide the absence of words coming from JJ, “Hey, you need us for anything you know we have your back right?” you simply nodded in response to his reassuring words. “even if it's something incredibly minuscule” Pope continued, handing you an unopened can of beer almost to show you he meant it.

“Love you guys” you spoke quietly, earning smiles and a round of “I love you”s from your friends.

JJ still hadn’t really spoken up, he wasn’t great at these things sober let alone right now when he was far from it. He decided to pass his joint to Kie who happily took it before he turned back to you and motioned for you to sit with him, you could see how his lips moved, inaudibly saying “C’mere”

Of course, you wasted no time, getting up from your seat and moving towards the blond, not missing the way he smiled at you as you walked and how he made sure he was sitting in a position where you’d be comfortable on his lap.

“hey mama” JJ finally spoke up as you sat in his lap, your back laid against his chest, JJ made sure you weren’t fully laying down so he could press his face into your shoulder, planting sweet and sloppy kisses up your shoulder and down your neck.

He had completely tuned out of the conversation your friends were now having about sharks, too captured by your scent and the way your hair touched his shoulder and arm to care about much else.

“hi,” you whispered back, leaving your head on his when he finally settled and set his chin on your shoulder. You handed him your can, silently asking him to open it and he did, taking a drink before handing it back to you.

You took it, mumbling a thank you before moving your hand up to his hair, grateful he had abandoned his hat on Kiara’s head earlier.

This is how JJ reassured you he was here for you, sometimes when he wasn’t unbelievably tired and high, he’d throw in a comment about you being a badass and then worship you with compliments and his love as if proving his devotion towards you but you liked his current technique.

The soft kisses, passing his joint to whoever was closest because his hands were too occupied playing with yours to hold it, lightly nudging your neck with his nose every once in a while to remind you of his presence.

His arms slithered around your waist to hold you impossibly close as though he’d lose you if he loosened his grip even the smallest amount.

These were all his way of silently promising you, you’re never quite sure what the promise is exactly, but you felt it you felt how much he meant it.

“I love you, j” You could feel the way his body reacted to the words, his hands hesitating before continuing the small movements on your stomach, the way his breath hitched against your neck, and the goosebumps that ran along his sun-kissed arms.

JJ’s lips lightly grazed your neck for a second, the sensation bringing a smile to your face. “I love you” His words were quiet, only for your ears to hear in the chaos that was your friend's laughter about something you weren’t paying attention to.

You knew his motives not even a full minute later when he pressed a light kiss behind your ear, a comforting action not only for you but also for himself as if he was grounding himself with the smell of your shampoo.

“Need a ride home, miss Y/n/n?”

#jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x pogue!reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x reader #jj mayback x reader #jj mayback imagine #outer banks imagines #jj maybank #jj maybank imagines #obx fanfiction #obx imagine #outer banks x you #Spotify

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liloinkoink · 3 months ago

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In lamplight what powers if any does Ren retain after getting his more human form back? Also in leaflight what powers if any does Martyn retain after getting his more human form back.

Along with those questions how impulsive would those to be when it comes to using the powers, for example would Ren here movement in a bush and instantly set it on fire?

-Lamplight x Leaflight Anon

i've been going back and forth a bit with ren and his powers post getting his body back! in my original plan, he had absolutely none of his fire powers, as he wasn't a fire god originally. over the last year, ive been tempted to let him keep some of it, though i havent entirely decided. i just rlly enjoy the idea of his hair bursting into flames when he's flustered LMAO

if i let him keep his fire, whatever fire powers he gets will have to start from or originate from him. so he wont be able to set independent fires across the room or burn a bush he's not touching. which, to be fair, he cant do that now, either

maybe he could send out a wave of fire from his hands? that would be fun. ill have to think about it!

oh, and of course, he still has his enchanting ability! and being a god means he'll heal from any injuries, no matter how severe

martyn, meanwhile, is pretty much unchanged power-wise from plant form. he's very much still Made Of Plant. he can still grow vines and still needs water and sunlight and soil. he's never really going to be flesh and blood again... or, never going to be flesh, anyway, because he still bleeds golden blood like any other god does

some fun facts abt martyn and how he experiences the world, tho, bc im not sure if ive ever explained these: anything martyn grows needs to come from him somehow. he cant just make other plants around him grow, they have to be martyns own. either he grows them directly off his body, or he puts roots in the ground and sprouts them from somewhere that's connected to him under the dirt. he could probably parasytize antoher plant, but since he can grow Everything, he doesnt have much of a need to. if you cut part of a plant away from him it immediately shrivels away and dies, his plants bleed gold like he does, and he can feel touch and pain through his plants

as for impulsiveness...

ren is very measured with his powers. bc martyn is a deadzone, ren cant offer martyn any kind of protective blessing to avoid burning him, so not burning martyn or setting any part of martyn on fire is something ren has to choose actively. if anything, his power would be weaker once his body is back--just look at some of the stuff he says abt his physical state in somniphobia!

he knows how destructive his power is and watches out for it

martyn, i think... honestly, he would hear movement in a bush and attack it on purpose, not instinctively. martyn loves violence and also has the world's most pathetic and most dognappable paladin. hes gonna be jumpy about hearing stuff nearby

#oink asks #lamplight au #leaflight au

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kiwiraccoon · 11 months ago

Text

Our Own Story

Read To Me pt. 2

Yunho x reader

Description: Read To Me Pt. 2: “Put the book away, let’s write our own story tonight.” Yunho doesn’t hold back anymore, he’s waited long enough. Your story has been a slow burn, he’s tired of the glances, fluff moments, and boring nights thinking about what if.

Word Count: 1117 (unintentional)

Warnings: MDNI, female pleasuring (not descriptive), borderline smut (first time writer), petnames, dom!yunho x sub!femreader

part one

You set the book on your bedside table letting your need and desire completely take over your mind, you didn’t realize how deprived of touch you were until this very moment. His hands remained in their place, one dangerously slipping underneath the hem of your shorts and the other holding him up by his elbow while his hand softly touched the exposed skin of your stomach. “Yun, what-“

“Shhh baby, don’t ruin our story.” He says the moment our eyes meet, I can see the same desire I feel swimming through his innocent yet dangerous eyes. The heat from his body surrounds my being like a warm blanket, heating me all the way to my very core. We’ve spent so many times laying in the same bed just enjoying each other’s company, it’s all we needed to feel content. Now I know I won’t feel content until his body is connected with mine in a way neither of us have experienced together.

We would be breaking down a wall that would no longer leave us stuck on opposite sides of roommates. “Are you sure?”

He chuckles at my question, “I should be asking you that.” He takes a moment to scoot a little closer, invading my space in an intimate way that sends fire burning through every vein in my body. “Baby, are you sure?”

Not breaking the intense eye contact between us I move to push the blanket away from my skin, removing that wall myself, I refuse to let it get in the way any longer. I never wanted it there in the first place. “Write our story Yun, make the words on the page come to life please.”

He wastes no time in moving his hand from my thigh up my body to the side of my face to hold it tenderly while he leans in to connect our lips. The feeling is so much more than what the stories say. It’s not just fireworks or butterflies, no it’s euphoria, bursts of serotonin, complete and utter happiness, and the perfect amount of ecstasy.

The world around us disappears into nothingness, a void of darkness to swarm us in the moment that we both have been waiting so long for. He craved me almost as much as I craved him, and I would prove that. I move my hand to wrap around his neck, tangling my fingers into his hair to give slight tugs at random times. Our kiss grew stronger with my actions, and when I heard the sound he made my whole body lit on fire.

The flames dance under my skin tickling spots with a needle like feeling to shock my nerves to life. I wouldn’t believe anyone who told me I was alive at this moment, I feel as if my soul is a million miles away in a paradise someone can only dream about.

His hand on my stomach moves up my skin under my shirt more at a pace that leaves whimpers escaping my throat to be swallowed by his kisses. I can feel the electricity building underneath my skin following his touch. It burns like the most beautiful bonfire underneath the perfect sunset of orange and purple skies.

I never believed I would feel the words I had read in so many different versions on pages from various books. But here I was having a book start something I had only dreamed about.

Yunho moves his mouth from mine against the skin of my jaw and down my neck to my collarbone. I can’t begin to explain the sensation I feel from his lip on my skin, it’s like I can see and understand paradise without knowing exactly what it means to me, it feels other worldly but that world isn’t known. I can but cannot explain the complete fulfillment. It makes all the sense in the world but my brain cannot wrap around it.

His hands make pleasure seem as if it wasn’t the easiest thing to bring to myself when in reality any other hands could never, mine absolutely could not. My conscious mind was only on the feelings and sensations he gave me, yet I still failed to realize he had moved his hands lower. One hand holding my side still in a comforting yet strong grasp, exuding dominance with a splash of care and comfort.

“Tell me how you feel.” I hardly register the words in my broken and fading mind. His voice held a rasp that made my legs squeeze tight around his one hand. Though he wasn’t having it as he used that hand to push my right leg down to the mattress with a firm grasp on my thigh. “Tell me, not show me.”

“Oh god,” was all I breathlessly said, not knowing exactly how to form a sentence. All he had done was kiss and touch me and here I was completely losing my sanity.

His chuckle makes my eyes land on him. He lowers his head to my chest as he chuckles before he looks up and makes direct eye contact with me. The few seconds of silence make my world feel like it’s ready to implode. Who he is now is not the cute puppy I want to squeeze and cuddle for hours on end. No this is a dog, one ready to pounce. “God?” He lets out a small chuckle again. “No, say my name baby.”

He pleases me in a way I’ve never felt before with just his hand making me take in a sharp breath and hold it in. I suck in my lips to bite down on them as I whimper louder than I have tonight. He gives me more and more, pushing my limits and making stars appear behind my closed eyes.

I can feel the pressure building in my core as it tries to break free from its hold, the walls cracking and bending against their will. The second his lips touch my skin again I can feel the walls give in, “Yunho!”

“That’s it baby, that’s my name. Say it again.” And I do a few times letting him know he was the one that caused my undoing that ripped the sounds from my throat and reached my core so easily.

Seconds pass before my consciousness comes back to me and I pull Yunho closer to me into a cuddling position we both love sleeping in. “Yun?”

“Yeah?” He asks while he tugs me in closer to him.

“What did we just do?”

His chuckles brings a smile to my face, making me dig my face into his chest to hide any embarrassment I feel. “That was only the beginning baby.”

#Jeong Yunho #Ateez yunho #Yunho x reader #Yunho #Yunho fic #Yunho imagine #Ateez #Ateez fic #Ateez imagine

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wwbtsdty · 2 years ago

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Set My Soul On Fire [5] | 18+

Summary: The chances of meeting your soul flame were almost one in a eight billion, the only way of knowing you were a match? You had to happen to be in close proximity of each other, so how were you ever to find your one true flame when they possibly lived halfway around the globe. When you find out you matched with not one but four members from the biggest boy band in the world, you weren’t sure if you were incredibly lucky or headed for devastating heartbreak, but you were willing to find out.

Rating: 18+

Genre: idol!au, smut, angst, fluff

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, Taehyung x Reader, Jimin x Reader, Namjoon x Reader

Status: Ongoing

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: dom!jungkook, dom!jimin, dom!taehyung, dom!namjoon, sub!reader, consent, smut, possessiveness, polyamory, anxiety, insecurities, jealousy, sexual tension, dirty talk, explicit language, kissing, grinding, marking.

Author’s Note: Yay, I’ve reached 500 followers! In honor of that, please enjoy the next chapter of Set my Soul on Fire! Thank you!!!!

Yes lots happening in this chapter, lots that will be touched on in later chapters.

This is all fictional.

“We should stop.” You moaned, your voice sounding not the least bit convincing as Namjoon littered the tops of your breasts with soft kisses, he didn’t even bother to look up at your comment.

“We should.” He hummed, the vibration sending a shiver straight through your body. His fingers deftly pulling down one cup then the other of your bra allowing your breasts to spill out. He paused, eyes glued to your bare breasts as he let out a deep groan, thumbs grazing the underside of your breasts as he took in the site.

Your flushed under his gaze, feeling suddenly shy as he stared at your bare breasts. He quickly stopped your hands as they moved to cover yourself, “Don’t hide from me love. You’re absolutely fucking breathtaking.”

His comments only caused more blood to rush to your face as you looked away from his intimidating stare. Your last boyfriend was so long ago you could barely remember how to felt to be intimate with someone. Mel had tried to convince you to at least enjoy some one night stands, but that was never you. Sex with no feelings involved, with complete strangers... it just never appealed to you. It was hard enough to be vulnerable to someone you had feelings for, let alone a stranger.

He cupped your breasts, admiring the way you perfectly fit his large hands. Leaning down to take a pert nipple between his lips, his tongue swirling teasingly around the hardened bud before biting lightly. His hand moving to the other and beginning to lightly twist and pull on your nipple

“Namjoon!” Your fingers dug into his shoulders at the sudden jolt of pleasure. Funny, you’d always thought you just weren't sensitive when it came to your breasts, when other men had tried you ended up having to fake comments here and there like, ‘oh that feels so good’. Turns out maybe you just never had the right partner.

The dim interior of the van suddenly lit up as a phone vibrated to life nearby causing Namjoon to groan. He ignored the phone in favor of switching his attention to your other breast, sucking gently on the your nipple. His hand snaking around your waist to grab a handful of your ass, pressing you down against his growing bulge as he thrust against your core. You let out a quiet moan, he quickly responded with one of his own, grinding his hips up into you once more.

The phone rang yet again causing Namjoon to pause in his actions, removing his lips from your breasts with a pop as he laid his head against your frantically beating heart. He seemed to contemplate something before finally picking up the phone angrily, “WHAT??”

You startled at the sound of his livid voice, stilling like a deer in headlights as you watched that all too familiar jut of his chin appear. Something about him all hot and bothered sent a tingle coursing through your body turning you on even more.

“Sorry to interrupt your date, but you’re needed back at the dorm… now.” Yoongi sounded on edge about something, it had Namjoon quickly snapping back to reality.

“We’re already here, we’ll be up in a minute.” With that he hung up and threw the phone across the seat. His hand returned to your waist, massaging gently as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your neck sucking the skin into his mouth. He pulled back moments later to admire his work, a dark purple spot marring your neck now marking you as his.

He looked up at you apologetically, a mischievous look crossing his face, “Sorry love, looks like we’ll have to stop here for now.”

Your eyes widened as reality came crashing down, you practically fell off his lap in your haste to redo your bra and make yourself presentable again. Once the haze of desire had lifted you realized exactly what mortifying position you had found yourself in, breasts bare, grinding yourself down on his lap.

You can honestly say you have no idea what came over you. Blame it on the adrenaline of what had happened. You had felt so safe in his arms, then the next thing you knew you were in his lap.

Jesus Y/N, did you have any morals whatsoever. First it was Jungkook, then Taehyung and now Namjoon?! What happened to taking things slow and getting to know each other. Why couldn’t you just keep your hands to yourself.

Namjoon frowned beside you as your thoughts came crashing down, just as he was about to reach for you and comfort you, tell you this was perfectly normal, his phone rang yet again.

“We’re coming!!”

“How does this keep happening?!?” Jungkook shouting was the first sound you were greeted with as you opened the door. All the members were there, along with their manager and Mr. Bang.

Jungkook was pacing the floor as Jimin seemed to be trying and failing to calm him down, the rest of them didn’t appear to be handling whatever was going on much better.

Hobi greeted you as you entered, a fake smile plastered on his face as he threw an arm around your shoulder guiding you to sit in front of Mr. Bang.

Jungkook immediately sat in the space next to you, taking your hand to calm his racing nerves. He immediately felt calmer having you in his presence, seeing that you were safe with them where they could protect you.

“Okay, you guys are officially freaking me out.” You finally spoke up, looking around at the various expressions on their faces. You may have only know them a short while, but it was enough to know something was wrong.

“Namjoon, please take a seat.” Their manager spoke up as Mr. Bang pulled out his laptop sliding it around and opening it for us to see.

Right there plastered across some Korean site you couldn’t read, unfortunately your understanding of Korean only went as far as your soul flames, was you... smiling, laughing, oblivious to the camera’s as you walked around the museum with Namjoon. Of course you couldn’t tell it was Namjoon, wearing a hat and mask it could be anyone.

Namjoon exploded, “We just left the fucking museum! When did they post that?!” He exclaimed, jumping up from his seat as he stared down at the laptop as if he might throw it against the wall at any moment. You could practically see the anger radiating off his body.

Mr. Bang sighed, closing the laptop lid, “We aren’t sure, what we do know is someone has been doing some digging around this past month when all seemed quiet. We thought we had everything taken care of after the concert. It seemed like the story we gave was accepted and no further news had come from it--We were wrong. I’m so very sorry Y/N—,” He paused, seeming hesitant to continue, “Your name was also revealed in the article.”

The room went deathly silent.

Your fingers grasped desperately at the couch below you as the room suddenly started spinning before your very eyes. The voices around you fading away until all you could hear was your frantically beating heart.

They knew your name.

They knew your face.

“Take a breathe Y/N” Hobi shook your shoulders lightly having felt you go stiff beside him. Everyone else too busy currently having a screaming match with Mr. Bang about the situation to take notice. Their feelings so strong they had yet to feel the anxiety attack looming in their soul flame.

What if they found out where you lived... where your mom lived...

Your breathing became labored as you thought of every possible worst case scenario, your anxiety swiftly spiraling out of control.

“From the looks of the article they don’t seem to know who she was with at the museum, that's a positive. If they had been able to identify Namjoon this would be a totally different conversation.” Mr. Bang cleared his throat, trying to placate the members.

“Well great, isn't that just fucking perfect. We’re safe, but oh by the way, Y/N is now being targeted.” Jungkook spit out, glaring angrily at Mr. Bang as he threw his hands up in the air.

“Jungkook.” Namjoon having finally calmed down, placed a hand on Jungkook’s chest, his gaze willing him to settle down. “None of this is helping, let’s focus on finding a solution to the problem first.”

“Uh, guys...?” Taehyung spoke up from your feet having moved to kneel in front of you. He had finally felt your anxiety come crashing through his own thoughts, racing to your side to take in your face devoid of color.

Namjoon and Jungkook swung around at his worried voice, noticing both Taehyung and Hobi cradling either of your hands as your eyes stared sightless ahead of you.

“Shit!” Jungkook exclaimed, “Y/N!” Namjoon collapsed at your side, placing his hand on your knee as he tried to gain your attention.”Look at me Y/N..”

“Everything’s okay, everything’s going to be fine.” Jungkook spoke softly, running his fingers soothingly through your hair.

Jimin watched from behind Namjoon as they dotted lovingly on you, trying to calm down your frayed nerves. He felt compelled to touch you as well, to wipe away the tears he saw now falling down your cheeks. Instead he stood rooted in place, fists clenched at his side to keep from reaching out to you. At what point had he started to feel like an outsider? All his own insecurities rearing their ugly heads... you're fat, you’re ugly, how could anyone love you, she couldn’t love you.

Namjoon reached over oblivious to Jimin's presence behind him, placing his hand on your chest as he grabbed your hand placing it atop his own chest. “Come on Y/N.. breathe with me.”

You focused on the slow rising of Namjoon’s chest then, willing your lungs to cooperate. Taehyung’s face at your feet slowly came into view as the darkness crowding your vision started to fade.

“Good girl, that's it... we’re here love.” Namjoon’s deep voice broke through your consciousness as you happened a glance to him beside you. You hadn’t even noticed them crowding around you, trying to maintain consciousness through your spiraling anxiety attack.

Hands suddenly cupped your face, pulling your gaze from Namjoon to your other side to stare directly into Jungkook’s big doe eyes, “You scared the shit out of me.” His voice quaked as his thumbs moved to wipe the tears from your cheeks you hadn’t realized you shed.

Jungkook leaned down kissing your forehead, the tip of your nose before placing a soft kiss to your lips. “Please don’t do that again.” He sighed, pressing his forehead against yours as he stared deeply into your eyes.

“No promises..” You smiled sadly as your heart broke at the fear etched in his eyes.

Your mother had always told you you'd looked like you'd seen a ghost or something during your panic attacks. You’d turn white, start shaking, sweating. The first time it had happened she took you straight to the emergency room having not known what to do.

Once you’d sufficiently calmed down they ushered you into your room and tucked you into bed insisting that you leave everything to them. You knew they didn’t want you to worry more than you already were, but a part of you felt worthless at not being able to help them devise a plan.

“We’ll fill you in on all the details later, for now just rest.. please?” Namjoon begged, running his fingers through your hair soothingly before turning to leave.

It was several hours later when you finally awoke, if the darkened skies were any indication. Your phone chimed waking you from your deep sleep. You drowsily reached for your phone to check the notifications. What you read had all the color draining from your face...

Stay the fuck away from BTS or else.

The phone slipped from your fingers falling to the floor as you sat frozen.

Suddenly the door crashed open, Jungkook barreling into the room as he felt your sudden fear. You fumbled from the bed, reaching for the phone before he had a chance to see the message.

“Whats wrong?!” He asked, Namjoon, Taehyung and Jimin fast on his heels as they glanced around the room for an intruder or something.

You clutched the phone to your chest, trying to silence the thoughts racing in your head so they didn’t find our about the threatening text, “Nothing! I uh--... I just had a nightmare that’s all.” You quickly made up a story to placate them, not wanting to make them anymore nervous than they already were with the situation at present.

“Oh..” Jungkook laughed, “I thought maybe you were having another panic attack.. or something.” They all visibly relaxed at the news.

“Well, now that your awake... you want to come out and we’ll fill you in on the plan going forward? Jin made some food for us earlier too, he left you a plate for when you got up.” You smiled at the prospect of food, your stomach growling in response.

Out in the living room you noticed everyone else had left at some point, leaving you and your soul flames alone once again. The members chatted animatedly amongst themselves as you filled your belly, Jungkook and Taehyung up to their usual hijinks.

Once you had finished and Jungkook cleared away the dishes, you all came to sit on the couches. “So..” Namjoon spoke up, “Obviously this situation isn’t ideal. We’re all beyond sorry that you were exposed, we all agreed we should have been more careful, made you wear a mask and hat. Going forward we will make sure you’re properly disguised. Also we will have to take bodyguards with us whenever we leave the dorm for safety. Even disguised, we don’t want to take the risk of anything happening.”

“Even though I can obviously protect you myself..” Jungkook mumbled under his breathe making you laugh.

“Yes, Yes... we know muscle bunny.” Taehyung laughed putting him in a head lock, Jungkook lightly jabbed him in the ribs causing him to release him.

“Our team has already had the article taken down, as well as any other related articles released. We’re just going to have to see if any repercussions come from it being up for the time is was. Since that article will make it extremely difficult to spend time outside together, our manager came up with the idea of spending the next week or so at our property that was built for In The Soop, give the public time to forget about everything and possibly focus on another story.”

Your eyes lit up at the prospect of spending time at the sprawling estate you had seen in the show. You had dreamt about spending time their since binge watching the second season, like any other ARMY had I’m sure. Now given the opportunity to escape reality back here you couldn’t help but jump at the chance.

“Yes!” You squealed before he even finished his sentence, everyone jumped at your enthusiastic response. Suddenly two arms wrapped around you swinging you into the air, you could tell by the tattoos it was Jungkook.

“Yay! We’re going to have so much fun! I’m gonna bring Bam, I just know your going to love him! We can go swimming, and play volleyball, and barbecue--” He rambled on as the others laughed at his antics, ever the maknae.

“Well then, it’s decided.” Namjoon clapped, “We’ll leave first thing in the morning!”

Everyone hurried back to their rooms to ready their bags, luckily you hadn’t unpacked much having just arrived a few days ago so there wasn’t much packing you had to do. Instead you sat on your bed, staring intently at the message on your phone you had momentarily forgotten about.

You chewed your bottom lip nervously, you really didn’t want to worry the members any more than they already were. It was probably nothing, right? Sure they somehow had gotten ahold of your phone number.. that didn’t mean they could find you. It was probably just an aimless threat, trying to scare you away. For once in your life you had to start standing your ground, you couldn’t let a few text messages keep you from your soul flames.

The next morning the five of you had gathered in the garage downstairs, two cars were waiting for you. You watched as numerous pieces of luggage were shoved into the trunks and back seats leaving only the front seats open. You only had one piece of luggage, what the hell were they bringing?!

“Groceries for the week, along with some other stuff to keep us occupied.” Namjoon answered making you wonder if you had spoken aloud.

“Alright, Jungkook, me and Taehyung will ride in this car.. You and Jimin can take the other car.” You froze glancing at the car where Jimin was already adjusting the drivers seat. You were going to be alone with him for the entire ride?

Out of all your Soul Flames Jimin seemed to have the most affect on you... which scared the shit out you. You weren’t sure if it was from your attraction to him even before meeting him or the fact that the man oozed sex, you constantly found yourself switching between Jungkook your bias and Jimin your bias wrecker. The flirting gazes and lingering touches when you first met him had shaken you, to the point you had found yourself avoiding contact with him since you arrived.

You felt horrible for keeping your distance, you could feel the awkwardness growing between you. You had felt his absence, no longer was there a constant sexual tension between you, instead an uncomfortable silence. You knew you had to put on your big girl panties and breech the divide you had put between you and him, at this point you weren’t sure how though.

You slid into the passenger seat as Jimin buckled his seat belt, glancing at you from the corner of his eyes, “Ready?” You nodded silently, buckling yourself in as he started the car.

Jungkook suddenly popped out from the passenger window in the car in front of you waving, “Lets Go Go Go!” he shouted, swinging his hand like they were filming Run BTS.

The drive was about as uncomfortable as you expected, so far it had been about 30 minutes and neither of you had uttered a single word. You couldn’t even use your phone for a distraction as you had lost service once you hit the mountainous area. Instead you had opted to stare out the window, taking in the countryside of Korea.

Jimin glanced over at you occasionally, fingers tapping restlessly against the steering wheel. He inwardly cursed Jungkook and Taehyung who had insisted you and Y/N share a car alone. The drive so far had only solidified what he knew to be true, you had no feelings towards him.

He sighed softly drawing your attention, “Jimin?” He froze at your sweet voice breaking the silence in the car.

“Hm?”

“Are we... okay?” You whispered, fingers fidgeting in your lap nervously as you broached the subject.

“Sure. We’re fine.” He muttered under his breathe, he hadn’t mean for it to sound the way it had, but he couldn’t take it back now. He had meant for it to be reassuring, meant for it to sound like he was fine if you had no feelings for him.

You weren’t sure what kind of response you were expecting to get from him, but his cold response had you questioning how to mend your relationship. You racked your brain trying to figure out what to say, “I mean--uhm... you’re not mad at me are you?”

He winced at the hurt lacing your voice, was he mad? No, not at Y/N.. never at her. If anything he was mad at himself, mad that he wasn’t as smart as Namjoon, as strong as Jungkook or as good looking as Taehyung. Mad that he couldn’t gain your attention he so deeply craved.

“No, I’m not mad.”

You chewed anxiously at your bottom lip, this would be so much easier if you could feel what they were feeling. Your thoughts and feelings were so jumbled at this point he probably wasn’t sure what the hell you were thinking. “Ah.. okay.” you whispered, picking at your cuticles in nervous habit. You weren’t sure what else to say at this point, he wasn’t exactly giving you a lot to go off of in terms of starting a conversation.

They continued the rest of the drive in silence, another hour passing as Jimin felt increasingly more and more frustrated. His grip tightening on the wheel to the point that his fingers were turning white. Suddenly he swung the car to the side of the road, slamming on the brakes.

You jolted forward at the sudden stop, watching the car in front of you continue onward. Your heart jumped in your chest as you swung around to face Jimin, “What happened?!” You exclaimed, watching him unbuckle his seatbelt and turn to face you as well.

His gaze was dark and intimidating as he stared quietly at you for a moment, seemingly debating something internally.

“Jimin..?” you whispered questioningly into the silence.

“Fuck it.” He growled, leaning across the close confines of the car, his hand wrapped around the back of your head bringing you close to him as he closed the gap pressing his lips roughly against your own.

You gasped against his mouth, flattening your hands against his chest as you debated whether to push him away or pull him closer.

He had to know, had to know if there was anything between you.. damn the consequences. He could live with you not loving him, but he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t try. If there was no spark he would give up and let the other members have you. If you truly felt nothing for him he would somehow... let you go.

His lips moved sensually against yours, tilting his head to the side as he deepened the kiss. His lips felt even more heavenly than you had imagined, you gave yourself fully over to the kiss as you opened your mouth for his prying tongue.

Jimin was unapologetic in his need, fingers tangling in your hair to tighten his hold allowing him to further taste you. The power you held over him was unfathomable, you had no idea the lengths he would go for you, no idea what you did to him. Even now he could feel how incredibly hard he had become from just one kiss, all he could think about was how badly he wanted to strip you down right here and worship each and every inch of your beautiful body, screw the fact that they were on a public road.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, no doubt one of the guys wondering where the hell they had gone once they saw you weren’t behind them anymore. He groaned, managing to peel himself away from your lips to answer the phone.

“We’re fine. Don’t worry, we’re coming.” He spouted off at Taehyung, hanging up before he could even respond.

You were still in shock, fingertips resting against your now swollen lips as you stared off into the distance in thought.

Jimin cleared his throat garnering your attention, “I’m sorry.. I--I just had to see if there was anything there.” He mumbled under his breath, hoping you weren't upset with him now. He had felt you respond, you hadn’t pushed him away like he expected and was prepared for.

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you spun around to face him again, “Something there? What--I’m confused.. How could you think that?” Your voice raised sounding slightly hysteric now, that you had even made him doubt himself and your bond was enough to break you.

“I thought.. maybe you didn't have any feelings for me, that you were only interested in the others. I can see why you would fall for them, they have everything.. the looks, the brains, the bodies. I’m nothing compared to them.” He sighed deeply, his eyes falling to his lap as he was overcome with sadness.

“Park Jimin!” You quickly reprimanded him, “Don’t you dare say you’re nothing! You are so beautiful it makes me incredibly nervous every time you look at me, and the way you dance is nothing short of amazing, and your voice is angelic. But most of all you have the biggest heart...”

You could feel the color rushing to your face as you rambled on about just how amazing he was, but damned if you were going to sit here and let him hate himself, “I’m sorry if I was distant... honestly--” You bit your lip hesitant to reveal why you had shied away from him since meeting him face to face again, “If i’m being honest, you made me nervous...you’re just so--so hot. I always found myself drawn to you and it scared me, so I kept my distance. I never meant hurt you.”

Jimin tensed, that was the last thing he expected to hear, he made you nervous? He could feel all the bad thoughts leaving his body at your words as he turned back towards you, a cocky smirk lifting his lips. “Wait, you pretended you weren’t interested because I--because you were so turned on by me it scared you?”

Your eyes widened. Shit. You had practically said that just now hadn’t you?

You stammered as you struggled to come up with a response, curling back against the car door behind you as he leant forward giving chase. The car wasn’t big enough to really escape him of course, he reached out running a finger along your cheek before gripping your chin with his thumb and index finger. He smiled wide like the cat that got the canary, making you wonder what he was thinking in that mischievous brain of his.

“I hope your ready baby, because I’m not holding back anymore.”

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Park Jimin, Ugh. How could anyone resist that face, the man seriously is sex on legs. fuck.

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