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tryingmybestpls · 4 years ago

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Me and My Husband

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: The reader warns herself of her relationship with Steve Rogers.

Rating: R

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Infidelity, miscarriage, depression, suicidal thoughts

No one will tell you what to do when you find out your husband is cheating on you. No one tells you that whether you stay or you leave him, everything you do will be judged ruthlessly. So you just pretend. You will pretend like its not happening, like you haven't seen the text messages on his phone or heard the whispers when you visit the Compound upstate. You'll ignore them the best you can, pray that somehow you got this all wrong. But you can read minds, so you get it straight from him that he's cheating on you.

You'll keep your head held high, ignoring the issue as much as possible. You act like nothing is amiss, even though everyone that you work it-or have worked with-knows the truth. They all know your husband was having an affair and they wonder if you know. You can see their questions as they appear in their heads. You plaster a smile on your face, wishing to be in your bed so you just cry. You'll get bombarded with their thoughts and it'll make you feel like you're drowning.

You'll never bring it up to your husband, but he knows that you know. You've promised that you'd never read his mind, but he knows that you have. You know every gritty little detail of the affair and he knows. He is reminded of it every time he sees you lying in the bed you once shared, your back to him. He's reminded of what he did every time the two of you visit the Compound upstate, when everyone gives her looks of sympathy while he gets glares that bore into his skin. Every time your eyes meet his, he is reminded that he didn't care about the sanctity of marriage and because of that you'll never look at him the same way ever again.

You'll spend moments wondering what you did wrong. Did you not love him enough? Not give him enough attention? Instead of being mad at your husband, you're mad at yourself. Wanting to think about what you could have done instead of thinking that your husband just didn't love you. It'll be easier to blame yourself and you'll live with this bundle of hatred for yourself.

A betrayal by the people closest to you. Your husband and your best friend. Your husband and your maid of honor. The two people you loved most in the world sleeping together and losing your trust, losing you. You wanted it to be anyone but her, anyone else. You prayed and begged that somehow his thoughts betrayed him and he didn't sleep with her, but you know deep down that he did. Her face is all over his memories. She won't meet your eyes and you've stopped taking her calls. You will want to hurt her, kill her. Want to make her brains spool out from her head because you're so God damned hurt. She isn't friend anymore. Friends don't betray you. Friends don't sleep with your husband. Friends don't make a mockery of your marriage. Friends don't-

Cry.

You'll find yourself crying a lot. It's an endless stream of tears that leave your head pounding and your eyes aching. It's the type of crying that makes your throat and entire chest hurt, the types of crying that leaves you feeling hollow. You must be dehydrated with how much you're crying. Your husband will come home to see your eyes red and watery. He used to be so concerned when he saw you post-crying, but that was before your marriage imploded. He knows he is the reason why you're crying, so he doesn't bother asking anymore. And that only makes you cry even more.

A night of emotions being too high and apologies that he doesn't mean result will in a positive pregnancy test and you're stuck in marriage with three people. You, your husband, and the other woman. It's too cramped and you feel like you can't breathe. It's suffocating.

When you get pregnant, people will whisper it's a save the marriage baby. None of their smiles will meet their eyes and their pity will be written all over their faces. They congratulate you nonetheless, calling you a fool once your back is turned. Having a baby with a man that betrayed her with her best friend.

They'll ask you how he feels about it. Not how you feel because you're not allowed to have feelings anymore. You gave up your feelings when you chose to ignore his infidelity. They'll ask you how he reacted, if he is happy. You don't want to tell them that he just nodded when you told him, his face not giving away way what he felt about the news. You don't to tell them at he left immediately to go see her as soon as you got into the shower.

She will be in the room when you tell the remaining members of your team, both holograms and in person. Hidden in plain sight, she sits among the people you call your friends-at least the ones that remain. His eyes meet hers when the news falls from your lips and you can hear her whisper in her mind "What are we going to do?". As your friends and teammates walk up to congratulate the two of you, she takes her time getting up, takes her time to walk over to you. She looks you in the eye and says that the two of you are going to be great parents. Three of us in this marriage and I can't breathe.

You'll wonder every day as your stomach grows if the man who you married hates you. He's stuck in this house that he had built, with the family he had wanted, in loveless marriage because he messed up and you found out. It doesn't stop him from leaving at night, showering immediately when he comes back. They both know you aren't stupid. You know what they are doing, but your heart can't break anymore. You'll tell yourself that he'll stop when the baby comes, but you know that's a lie, but it's a lie you keep repeating to yourself in hopes of it coming true.

Sometimes, you will dive into his mind when he is asleep next to you. He'll never know that you've snuck inside, but you get to see every moment of their relationship. It's sadistic and all it does is make you more upset, but you can't help yourself. You need to know how far it goes, if they love each other or if it's just a physical thing. She fills up more of his memories than you do. You're being replaced and there isn't a thing you can do about it. You can only watch it happen.

And no one will tell you what to do when you start to bleed. It will seems to pour endlessly from you, staining the cream colored sheets. Your husband won't be beside you, he's off with her. So instead, through the pain, you drive yourself to the hospital, blood covering the seat. Tears streaming down your face as you force yourself to walk into the emergency room, hand on your stomach. You'll lean on the receptionist's desk and calmly tell her "I think I am losing my baby." as blood drips down your legs. No one tells you who to call. Should you interrupt your husband's time with his mistress? Make him hate you more? No. Instead, you call your friend, the one who has always been like a brother to you. The one who lives a few hours away with his wife and their newborn daughter. You'll wait for him, sitting alone in a hospital room as nurses run tests on you.

No one will tellyou how you are supposed to react when they come in and tell you that your baby-a boy, you learn-is gone. Your bump is still there, so how can he be gone? He. A sweet baby boy that you'll never get to meet. When Tony arrives, you can't get the words out. Saying it aloud will mean it's true. But he knows. He knows as soon as he walks through the door that the baby is gone. He doesn't bring it up and instead sits next to you, where your husband should be, and holds your hand. Your hand in his while you other hand cradles your bump. Your husband will return home the next morning to find your car gone with blood smeared everywhere. For the first time in months, he'll call your phone, wondering what was going on.

Tony will be the one who answers the phone when you're in surgery, the doctors wanting to make sure the contents of your womb are completely out. He'll be the one who tells your husband that you lost your baby. Tony will be the one to tell him to stop calling. Before your friend hangs up, Tony will tell your husband that he caused this, that his infidelity direct caused your miscarriage.

In that time, you'll finally lose it. It's like you're finally reacting to everything. You'll be drowning in anger, in sadness, in sorrow. How you managed this far you'll never understand. Tony will bar your husband and his mistress from coming anywhere close to your hospital room. Your life is falling apart at the seams and you're losing control of everything. You're unable to sleep, unable to eat. The last thing you've had was your baby and now that he's gone-Well you don't have anything left. You just want all of the pain to end and you'll tell Tony that. He'll will be worried and he'll ask for you to be put into a seventy-two hour hold. While this is happening, while your brain is being picked in order to see if you're going to harm yourself, Steve will be throwing away the bloody bed and getting rid of the ruined sheets and blankets.

Tony will decide that you can't go back to your home you share with Steve, but you also can't stay with him. He has a baby and you just lost yours. It's not right for you to stay there. So instead he takes you to Asgard's new home. You'll be thousands of miles away from the home you had wanted to raise a family in, away from your husband. Thor and Valkyrie will welcome you with open arms, helping you transition into your new lifestyle as you grieve. Tony will handle the divorce proceedings and Steve will get a new bed. Your things will be packed up and sent to you and you'll be completely removed from your husband.

And when Bruce and Rocket come knocking on your door three years later, begging for your help, you'll be forced to make a choice. And you'll sit there in your tiny cottage next to Thor's, thinking about what to do. And then you'll agree to help because you want to bring back half of the universe. You love saving people and it doesn't matter if you feel uncomfortable, you are going to help bring people back.

So when that beautiful man with the baby blue eyes comes up to you after a mission, a million dollar smile stretched across his nervous face and asks you to go on a date, heed this warning. He'll be amazing at first, but it'll go down hill so fast. Know that you were never his first choice, you were the only available one.

If you don't heed the first warning and you do go on a date with the blonde man, don't marry him. The marriage is a sham, something you'll do a year after half of the universe turns into dust. You'll be excited and it'll seem like he's really happy, but he isn't. He just wants purpose again and he won't get it from the marriage. He'll emotionally leave you and you'll try to stick it out.

Being with Steve Rogers will only end in pain, so save yourself the heartbreak and stay away.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #captain america x reader #chris evans x reader

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fablesrose · 3 years ago

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OKAS XXXIII

Description: Y/n, a girl who seems to have found her calling. Being a SHIELD agent is like a dream come true. With a friendship starting to form with the Avengers, she’s the Queen of the world! What could go wrong?

Pairings: Avengers x reader, Loki x reader (eventually)

Warnings: fluff, angst

OKAS Masterlist~Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The days were getting better. I think.

Food was a blessing. I haven't had real food for seven years; I should have cherished it. Luckily I had the biggest pile of breakfast food I think I had ever seen placed on my plate.

"Are you going to eat all of that?"

I glanced at Steve, then back at my plate, then back at him, then at my plate.

I never answered him.

I've been living on smoothies for the past six months, then before that, I wasn't even sure if what I was eating was food. My stomach was probably not as big as it once was.

Despite this, I dug in anyway. I had forgotten how good food was, even though I've been out of that cell for a few meals now. I just kept eating to the point where I didn't notice everyone else coming into the kitchen.

"Hey Y/n, I wanna introduce you to the rest of the team," Tony placed a hand on my shoulder making me jump.

I quickly swallowed and wiped my mouth clean, "Okay."

He went around the room giving me names one by one.

"This is Vision."

He had red skin and didn't look human with a yellow stone in his head.

"He's an android."

Oh.

"That's Sam." Tony pointed at the man leaning against the counter eating a bowl of oatmeal. He raised his bowl in acknowledgment. He looked nice enough.

"You've met Wanda and Bucky."

I nodded at them. Wanda didn't look at me, but Bucky waved.

"Rhodey is over there." He lifted a hand. He looked older than the others, closer to Tony's age.

Tony looked around the room, "You'll meet Peter later, he's at school."

There was a blur of blue light that came from the hallway that headed towards the fridge before coming back to sit at the counter.

"And that would be Pietro, he's the guy you sparred with. He and Wanda are twins. Any questions?"

"The last time I asked a question under normal circumstances I got kidnapped seven years ago, so I'm good." I looked at Pietro, he looked a little tired, but otherwise alright. "Hey, nice to finally officially meet you, sorry I almost killed you the other day."

He glanced up at me, "Can't say I return the pleasure, and uh, thanks."

"That's fair."

"That was awfully nonchalant of you." Loki took the seat next to me, stealing a piece of toast. I was nearly full, so I didn't mind.

"Hey, I would have said the same thing if I ever got an apology from you."

"I have apologized."

"I don't remember it."

"You've said it yourself, you've forgotten a lot of things over the last seven years."

I tilted my head, "I'm pretty sure I would have remembered if you ever apologized. That would be cemented in my brain."

Loki hesitated, "I'll admit you weren't quite... in your right mind when I did it."

"Oh?"

"You were high."

I thought back, "Which time?"

I heard a snort from somewhere in the room; I had forgotten people were there to listen in.

"You were given a sedative for one of your checkups after the... incident."

"Ah. Still don't remember it."

He sighed, "Fine, I'm sorry."

I smiled, "Thank you."

There was a pause where I took another couple of bites of my breakfast.

"So, anyone wanna tell me the story behind that?" Sam said, looking absolutely baffled.

I side-eyed Loki, "Do you wanna tell them, or should I?"

Do we have to tell the story?

Come on Lokes, it's a funny story!

I don't find it that funny.

Oh, the God of Mischief, otherwise known as chaos, doesn't find a story, where he makes some chaos, funny.

...

"So who's telling the story?"

I glanced up at Bucky before looking back at Loki. He looked slightly uncomfortable.

"I guess I am." I slid the rest of my plate away from me, officially full.

"I'm not staying for this." Loki started to stand before I grabbed his wrist.

"Oh no, you don't. You're gonna sit your ass back down and listen."

"I could just teleport away, you know that."

I looked him dead in the eye, "But you're not going to."

He grumpily rested his head on his fist and didn't reply.

I looked around the room, making sure everybody was there. "Alright, so it goes like this. I'm just coming back from an infiltration mission, full-on Hydra gear, the whole setup. My superior, Agent Brian Fletcher-- how is Fletcher, by the way?"

Tony answered, "He's retired, got a nice cabin in the northwest."

"Good for him."

I continued the story, putting in a few more comedic details than there were. Tony and Loki looked at me suspiciously but didn't say anything.

"And so I'm lying there, can't breathe, and I'm just like, 'You son of a bitch, what the heck?'"

The room erupted in laughter. I looked over at Loki who had a small smile on his face while he looked at his hands on the counter.

I finished the story with grace and excused myself to my room. Social interactions were exhausting now and I still had to get used to "normal life." It was nice; having friends was nice. It's been a while since I've had some.

I lied on the bed--no, on my bed. The lights were dimmed as I tried to recharge a little bit. The bed was soft, I just sunk right into it, but it was almost too soft. Seven years of sleeping on a cot that was only a fraction better than the floor can do that to you. I couldn't get comfortable so I eventually lowered myself to the floor, sitting up against the side. The memory of the cots had stirred something in me.

"Hey, Jarvis?"

A voice that was not Jarvis answered me, "Jarvis has been incorporated into the android Vision on the team and is no longer in service. My name is Friday, is there something that I can help you with?"

I thought on it and mumbled to myself, "I guess his voice did sound familiar." I sighed before asking, "Do you have access to recovered Kingdom files?"

"Yes I do miss, what would you like me to look for?"

"Jasmine Okoro."

Friday paused as the AI searched the files. It then produced a hologram of the file in front of me. Friday began reading it out loud, "Prisoner D2- Jasmine Okoro. In facility from April 2010 to May 2014. Status: Deceased. Occasion of death: Duel. Final Opponent: Asset D1-The Queen. Results-"

Friday kept reading through the report, but I stopped listening. I just kept reading the status and the final opponent over and over.

I killed Jasmine.

Something under my skin started to feel unnatural. More than usual I should say.

"Friday, where's the nearest fortified room? Like a panic room? And the fastest route to get there."

I barely heard its instructions, but I made it there and locked the door behind me. The walls were white concrete and not entirely smooth. I stumbled to the center of the room before collapsing on my knees.

I forced myself to look at my hands as ink sprouted from my fingertips and spread up my arms. These hands killed my only friend while in hell. I pounded my hands against the ground, trying to make myself feel something. Something beyond the unexplainable feeling of my skin.

Eventually, it wasn't enough and I had to release even more. Spears shot from my fingers and shattered against the walls, but I still needed to release more. The anger, the despair, and maybe there was a bit of jealousy there too. She didn't suffer as long as I did. Most of it was the guilt and the grief that seemed to rot my insides.

A cloud of soot exploded from my body with such force that I could hear it hit the walls around me. I collapsed to the ground, trembling and exhausted. This was the first time I had used Noxy's powers. I'm not sure how I felt about it, and I was too tired to care.

Tears streamed down my face onto the ground and I shut my eyes tightly, cradling my hands to my chest. Everything felt empty, my mind, my heart.

I had never been more grateful that there wasn't a thought in my head.

~~~

Loki sat at the counter while everyone else finished their breakfast and dispersed to work on their own tasks.

"That's not really how that story goes is it?"

Loki glanced over to see that Pietro was the last one in the kitchen other than himself. "No, no it isn't."

"What's the truth?"

Loki smirked, "You're asking the truth from the god of lies?"

Pietro's eyes looked weary, but sparked in amusement, "We all know you're about as honest as the rest of us."

A glass of water appeared in Loki's fingertips, "I guess that's true enough, young one." He took a sip. "The truth is, is that I almost killed her that day. She had just gotten her big break to fulfill her dreams and I threw her back to the bottom of the ladder with that severe of an injury."

"And she's able to just laugh it off with you never really apologizing until now?"

"You'll find she's like that." He paused, "Understand, that she will apologize to you as many times as you require of her, but-"

"I get it," Pietro interrupted, "Y/n's got more pressing matters on her plate than a sparring match gone slightly too far."

Loki watched the young man appraisingly, "Quite right, thank you."

The room was quiet for a moment before Loki started to notice some faint noises. His eyebrows wrinkled as he tried to decipher what exactly the sound was and where it was coming from. He looked at Pietro, "Do you hear that?"

"The thumping? Yes, but I figured that was just tired hallucinations, but I guess not."

They both stood and started wandering, trying to identify where it was coming from until there was a louder sound, loud enough for them to feel in their feet. They paused and found that it had gone quiet.

"Friday? Where was that coming from?"

The AI recited what room and they found their way without much hurry, only a bit of curiosity.

They found the room and found it to be locked. Loki turned the knob without too much trouble after a wave of his hand. He cautiously peeked his head through the door to see if it was safe. Once he came to the conclusion that nothing was going to attack him he opened the door wide enough for Pietro to follow. Loki's eyes landed in the center of the room where he saw a huddled form.

It didn't seem to be moving.

Loki rushed to the figure and his breath of relief caught in his throat when he realized that it was Y/n, despite the fact that he saw she was breathing.

"Is she okay?"

Loki looked her over, "I think so... She appears to be sleeping. I can't find anything wrong."

"Well that's good," Pietro sat down on the concrete, "say, Loki, do you remember what color this room used to be?"

Loki subconsciously ran his finger along the floor before lifting his eyes to the ceiling, "I'm not entirely sure, but I do know it wasn't stained black."

Best Buds Tag List

@snarky--starky @kitkatd7 @confetti-its-an-imagine-blog @kaogasm

OKAS Tag List

@paigelin @ghost-of-the-oldwest @frostedgiant

Loki Tag List

@whatafuckingdumbass

#loki odinson #loki fanfic #loki x reader #avengers x reader #avengersfanfiction #avengers x you #tony stark #natasharomanoff #bruce banne #OKAS #Ch 33 #steve rogers #nick fury #pietro maximoff #wanda maximoff #vision

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actuallybarb · 4 years ago

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The Aftermath ~ Part 6

Summary: y/n does nothing to discourage morgan stark from swearing, senior year officially starts, and y/n never considered herself stiles but when peter is lydia she’s alright with it

Pairing: peter parker x reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, y/n fixing everyone’s problems, trauma

Word Count: 3023

A/N: shit shit shit i love it i’m here for it i shamelessly stole it from Teen Wolf

///////////

I stayed at the compound that weekend, working with FRIDAY and Pepper to get the rest of the footage salvaged and try to clear Spider-Man’s name.

“‘Morning, FRIDAY,” I yawned out as I slipped back into the desk chair in the lab Friday morning. “Any progress on the footage from EDITH?”

“We got footage from the bridge, but it doesn’t look too good for Peter.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “Show me.”

I sipped Sokovian tea (Wanda was a genius with tea leaves) as I played the footage over and over again. “Of course it doesn’t look good for Peter, it’s his face.” Peter’s face was telling EDITH to stop all of the drones. But the whole point was so Spider-Man wouldn’t get charged with murder, not proving his true identity. “Well shit.”

“Shit.” I turned in my chair and saw Morgan Stark at the door, a proud grin on her face.

Pepper had brought Morgan by last weekend and she and I had become fast friends. After nearly losing her mind over where her daughter was, Pepper found Morgan happily chasing mini tornadoes I made in the training room. After that, she would ask FRIDAY for periodic updates, but mostly Morgan and I got to run free around the compound.

I pointed a finger at her. “I refuse to be blamed for your foul mouth, got it?” She nodded then ran over and climbed onto my lap, looking at the videos.

“Peter?”

“Yup. And that’s the problem.”

“Why is that a problem?”

“Because in this moment we needed him to have his mask on.”

“But he doesn’t.”

“Now you see the problem.”

“Why can’t we just put his mask on him?”

“Because, Young Stark, that would be considered tampering, and would completely nullify the evidence in a courtroom.”

“So Peter’s stuck being Peter?”

“Peter’s stuck being Peter.”

“Shit.”

“Shit is right.” I looked at her sternly. “No swearing in front of Pepper, got it?” I stuck out my pinky and she wrapped her tiny one around it, squeezing hard. “Let me just email your mom about this, then we can go on an adventure, okay?”

The email took twenty seconds, then Morgan and I were racing through the compound, brushing past anyone who got in our way. We had just turned down an unexplored hallway when we heard sniffles. I screeched to a stop. “Wait right here, Morgan.” One tap of my foot and I ‘saw’ them in a coat closet. And I was pretty sure I already knew who it was. I knocked very lightly on the door. “Peter?”

There was a lot of shuffling, then silence. “Who is it?”

“Y/N.” Morgan stomped her foot. “And Morgan.”

“Oh. Hey, guys.”

“Can I open the door?”

Before he even answered I could tell he was uncomfortable. His heart rate picked up and his fingers started tapping on his knee.

“Hey, Morgan. I’m going to talk to Peter for a little bit. Can you find Wanda until I get back? We can go on our adventure after.” She looked between me and the closet before nodding, running off the same way we came. “Keep an eye on her, FRI.”

Then I opened the door.

How I managed to squeeze inside that closet with Peter already in it was an absolute mystery to me, but I eventually closed the door on myself and let the space be dark.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“What’s up?”

“Not much.”

“Really? That’s good news.”

“Yup, just peachy.”

“Huh, could’ve fooled me. Why are you crying in a closet, then?”

“Oh, you know, just…” He stayed silent.

I nudged his knee with mine. “Talk to me, Pete. It’s just us.”

He sniffled again. “MJ called. She - she, uh. She said— She can’t be with me right now.”

“She broke up with you?” I couldn’t believe my ears. Was I excited? Disappointed? I wouldn’t know.

“She said, with all of this Mysterio stuff still going on, it’s best if we’re not together.” His head dropped to his knees. ”School starts in four days, Y/N. How am I going to face her? How am I going to face anyone?”

His voice and my heart cracked at the end of his sentence. “I don’t know.” I stretched my hand forward and held onto his forearm, slowly running my thumb back and forth. “I’ll be there. Ned will be there. I’ll happily hit anyone in the face who says anything to you.”

He snorted. “You wouldn’t.”

“You weren’t there when I punched Flash.”

His head shot up. “You punched Flash?”

“You see what you miss when you get stopped at the airport?”

He laughed. “That stupid banana.”

I smiled and leaned back, letting my hand fall from his arm. “Have you called Ned?”

He stiffened slightly. “A couple days ago.”

“You should call him. Now you guys have something else in common.” His eyebrows scrunched together. “You both have had girlfriends and broken up with them in the same summer.” He visibly cringed. “Too soon, sorry.” I ended up in a squatting position, one hand on the knob. I grabbed his arm and gave it a small squeeze. “You’re going to be okay, Peter.”

I probably shouldn’t have left him in the closet, but I had a call to make.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“What the fuck, MJ?”

“What?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You broke up with Peter?”

Did I want Peter to be single so I could eventually shoot my shot? Yes. But not like this.

I found a different closet to hide in, pushing myself as far against the wall as possible and hopefully muffling my voice enough no one could hear me.

“You’ve seen everything on the news, Y/N. Spider-Man’s identity revealed, then Spider-Man killing Mysterio, it’s- it’s-“

“You know it’s not true. You know Peter’s Spider-Man and you know he would never hurt a fly, let alone kill Beck, no matter how hurt he was. Beck tried to kill you, and you’re punishing Peter for this?”

“I don’t know what to think! All of this shit about holograms and hallucinations, I can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t. You saw how real that Elemental looked in Prague, you can’t say you’re not a little bit freaked out about this.”

”No, I can’t, but I can’t say that breaking your trust with Peter is the best option right now either.”

There was a deep sigh on the other end of the line. “Take care of him, Y/N. You get him and all of this superhero shit more than I ever will.”

Then she hung up.

She hung up.

Take care of him? What did she think I was doing, huh? What have I been doing this whole time?

I left the closet and made my way to the living room, ready for a six year old distraction. “Morgan?”

“Y/N!” She was sitting beside Peter on the couch, the afternoon sun filtering through her long eyelashes. “Come watch a movie with us.”

“How ‘bout some lunch first?”

“How about lunch and a movie?”

I laughed. “You’re convincing, I’ll give you that. Chicken nuggets?”

“Yeah!”

“Peter, chicken nuggets?”

“Sure.”

Morgan picked Disney movie after Disney movie, her attention never wavering. Once the sun went down, though, my eyes were getting heavy. After so many days of no sleep, my body insisted darkness meant it was time for bed. We were on movie number 4 (Sleeping Beauty, go figure) when my eyes couldn’t stay open. Before I knew it, my breathing had evened out and I only saw the insides of my eyelids.

I woke up the next morning on one of the most comfortable pillows I had ever had, which was saying a lot, ‘cause I had one of those memory foam ones. I could’ve slept on it forever, but then it shifted around and my neck got squished, and—

Wait.

Is this thing moving?

I opened my eyes, and sure enough, it was. I just so happened to be using the legs of none other than Peter Parker for a pillow. How I ended up like that, I have no idea, but my heart was in my throat the second I realized it.

It’s like I was frozen. (I had accidentally frozen myself on more than one occasion, it’s about as fun as you think it would be.) I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, all I could do was watch his chest move as he inhaled. It slowly started to move faster until I could feel his heart rate speeding up, and I knew something was wrong.

“Peter?” I sat up and turned to face him, one hand moving to his shoulder. “Wake up, Peter.” I shook him probably a little too harshly and he started awake, his eyes wild. “Hey.”

“Are you real?”

A nightmare. No wonder he was freaking out, he wasn’t sure he wasn’t dreaming.

“Yeah, I’m real.”

“Can- Can you prove it?” He saw the flash of distrust in my eyes and backtracked instantly. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—“

“It’s fine, Pete. Seriously.” He didn’t look like he believed me, so I had to think of something quick that would prove I was real. “Last night, we watched Sleeping Beauty, ‘cause it was Morgan’s fourth request, and you were actually really excited to watch it because you’d never seen it before, and so it starts and you were out in the first fifteen minutes.”

“Are you sure you’re not talking about yourself? Because you were asleep way before I was.”

“You woke up, sure, but you definitely fell asleep before I did.”

He smiled and leaned his head back, but it eventually dropped. He looked at me and asked quietly, “How can you tell? What’s real and what isn’t?”

The sun was barely peaking over the horizon when I answered. “The bending. People move a specific way, even just how they walk and how they stand, and it can’t be mimicked. Beck tried it, he tried to make himself look like you, but it just felt wrong. Everything is slightly off when what I’m seeing isn’t reality.”

He grumbled, “Wish I could do that.”

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “You can, Peter. You already have half of it down, you just have to pay attention to it.”

“What do you mean?” He was fully sitting up at this point, his entire body engaged in my every word.

“You have heightened senses, right? Which makes the hallucinations ten times worse for you.” He nodded. “You can use those to your advantage. Heartbeats, footsteps, shifts in the dirt, they’re all jumbled together until you can differentiate between people. It takes a lot of concentration and time, but it eventually becomes second nature.” I was tapping the cushion with every other finger, a trick I picked up from my shrink after The Blip first happened. It used to be a coping mechanism, now it’s just a habit when I zone out.

“Can you teach me?”

His eyes were bright. How could I say no to him when he was looking at me like that? You did, Y/N, like three weeks ago. Okay, but those were life-threatening circumstances. This is different.

“Sure. But not today.” I stood up and stretched completely, then checked the time on the oven. Seven twenty-seven. I could get home just after eight if I left right now.

I made it at eight, right on the dot.

////////////

Stepping off the subway, I knew school was going to be rough. Not just that day, but the week, the month, the semester, the year. Senior year was supposed to be enjoyable, right? After the last few disasters Mr. Harrington has been apart of on his school trips, they all but banned us from going on any more of them. Not that I really minded, except for the senior trip we were supposed to have right after graduation. Summer was exciting enough for a lifetime, I didn’t need any more repeats of that.

I walked into the building, headphones in but no music playing. There was Brad, leaning against the locker of some poor unassuming junior. Flash, his camera on, documenting the last first day of high school. MJ, her own pair of headphones in, made eye contact with me briefly, then looked down at her phone again just as fast. Peter and Ned, slightly more solemn than usual, standing at their lockers, comparing class schedules.

My locker was only a few down from them, so I said hello before passing by, the three-number code learned by heart.

I sensed Peter and Ned before I ever heard them. “If I concentrate any harder on these footsteps I’m going to lose my mind.” He had texted me all weekend asking about how to learn movement patterns and footsteps, so he was obviously practicing my tips.

I laughed. “Yeah, duh, Peter, even I don’t know what everyone moves like. The trick is to learn the people you’re close to, then learn to pick them out of a crowd. Start with someone you see a lot of, who you’re familiar with, then work from there.”

“Ooh.”

I looked over at Ned. “How was the rest of your summer, Ned? Any more girlfriends?”

“No, I’m still a bachelor. I think I’ll stay this way for a while - strong independent man who doesn’t need a woman. But, I mean, if someone comes along, it’s not like I’ll say no.”

“I respect the hustle. Don’t tie yourself down, Ned.”

“Thank you, Y/N, I really appreciate that.” The bell rang and he looked down at his schedule. “I have physics, I’ll see you guys later.”

“What do you have?”

I looked at my own schedule, nearly running into someone as we walked through the hall. “Spanish. You?”

“Spanish.” I grabbed his sheet of paper and compared them.

“No fucking way.” We had every single class together.

Every.

Single.

Class.

Pepper.

“What is it?”

“We have every class together.”

“No way.” He grabbed the papers from my hands and looked over them himself. “The chances of this happening are—“

“Minuscule.”

He just shrugged it off. “Nice to have a familiar face in the crowd.”

I shot Pepper a quick text before we walked into Spanish.

Really, you have us in every class together?

I’m worried about him, Y/N. Frankly, I’m worried about you, too. Just keep an eye out for each other, okay?

Yeah yeah sure.

This school year just got a whole lot more interesting.

/////////

I guess I could consider Flash a friend. He was nice enough not to post the video he had of me being an Elemental and he let me use his shoulder as a pillow on the flight home. The only communication we had over the rest of the summer was me commenting something on his Instagram story and him replying. So I was a little surprised when he took a seat beside me in chemistry, but not disappointed.

“Do you and Parker have every class together?”

“Yup.”

“Shit that sucks.”

“He’s alright, Eugene, maybe one day you’ll realize that.”

“I can’t believe Mysterio tried to say Parker was Spider-Man. I mean, can you think of a less-likely candidate?”

I rolled my eyes. “Stop insulting my friends, Eugene, or I’ll make you move seats and do this class on your own.”

He shut up for a little bit, but when we got a review sheet to do that went over all of last year’s class, he started whispering. “Are you still, you know, turning into monsters and knocking people into rivers?” He hissed in pain as my foot connected with his shin. “Okay, I’ll take that as a no.”

“I’m not talking about this with you,” I whispered.

“It was fucking badass, Y/N.” Another hiss of pain.

“People died, Eugene. Do you not get that? People died because of me. All of the people in our trip could have died and it would have been my fault.” The bell rang and I nearly sprinted out of the class.

My heart was beating too fast, my breathing was too shallow. I knew those were a bad combination, but I couldn’t stop. The room was spinning and I couldn’t feel the ground underneath me and holy shit am I falling?

Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me through a door, and as much as I wanted to pull away I knew I could trust whoever it was.

“Breathe with me, Y/N, okay?”

Peter.

“Just breathe with me.”

I tried. You have no idea how badly I wanted to stop feeling like that. But my body couldn’t catch up to my brain and that freaked me out even more and now I was getting lightheaded. “I- I-“

And then a completely new sensation filled my brain. Lips. Soft - maybe a little chapped - lips were on mine.

I didn’t need help breathing anymore because Peter Parker literally took my breath away.

He pulled away, but I kept my eyes closed. Maybe if I keep them closed I can hold onto it just a little bit longer.

“You okay?”

God his voice was so soft. I just wanted to wrap myself in it and take a nap.

“Did you get that from Teen Wolf?”

Smooth, Y/N, real smooth.

Shut up.

“Ye- yeah, I did.”

I sighed in relief. “Thanks. For stopping it.”

“No problem.”

“How’d you know?”

“Teen Wolf.”

“No, how’d you know I was having a panic attack?”

“Oh. Your- your heartbeat, actually. We have every class together, so yours has been the easiest to learn so far. Then I heard it beating like crazy so I knew something was up.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“No.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I thought about it for a second. “Maybe later, when we’re not sitting on the floor of an empty classroom.”

He laughed. “Okay.” He stood up and gave me his hand, pulling me to my feet. “C’mon, we’re late for English.” He led the way down the nearly empty hallway, while I pulled out my phone and sent one more text to Pepper.

Okay, it was a good idea.

tags: @eridanuswave @vampirestrawberries

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker series #peter parker oneshot #marvel #marvel comics #reader insert #peter parker x mj #ned leeds #michelle jones #flash thompson #spiderman far from home #mcu #spiderman #avengers

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i-write-sometimes-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Earth Girl(Rey x Reader) Five

Summary: Days seems to be peaceful on this new planet but with the First Order on your tail things could change quickly.

Word count: 2,208

A/N: I have forgotten about this series ngl but I love it so much and I'm finally back at it! If you're new here you can find the previous chapters on my masterlist. Hope you like it! Let me know what you think!

The days were cold on the mysterious swampy planet, fortunately you had the Falcon, this big starship that was slowly becoming your home, its walls and circular halls seemed worn out yet that detail made them special for you. You were sure this old ship had witnessed a hundred stories.

And there was also Rey, bright as the sun.

It was strange how closer you two had become in so little time but you liked it, you loved to have her around, to take her hand. To kiss her.

This whole thing seemed too good to be true, for moments you thought it may be just a dream but you had realized a long time it was not. It was real, the planets, the star ships and aliens. All of it was real.

Rey was real.

“How long do we have to stay here?” you asked, leaned on a rock outside the Falcon as you watched the night sky full of stars, they looked so different up close and maybe it was because they weren’t the same stars you used to watch from the roof of your building back in your homeplanet.

“I’m not sure.” Rey told you, “Last contact with the General was at least a week ago, and she only said to hide.”

“And until we can contact the Resistance again, what?” you added.

“We wait.” she said unbothered or at least she tried to sound like she didn’t care to wait.

“So we just wait here forever?”

“If we have to.” She said before taking the last bite of her food. She seemed somehow upset about all this, there was sadness in her eyes that tried to avoid you and the stars above you. You knew this had something to do with her family, she mentioned before you arrived at Takodana, yet she had never spoken of it again.

“Rey, what happened to your family?” you asked. Her eyes met the cold ground as she prepared her words.

“They left me in Jakku.” She said, clearly struggling to say those words. “I thought they’d come back someday but... they never did.” she told you really seriously, you had never seen her this serious.

“You know what happened to them or where-” you said.

“If I’d known I would have left the desert a long time ago.” She cut you off. You both stay quiet for a minute, not really knowing what to say until you broke the strange silence between Rey and you.

“It must have been really rough to live all alone.” you tried to show her some sympathy but it clearly didn’t help much. Rey gave you a humorless chuckle before raising her voice again.

“You have no idea what it was like,” She said in a rather sad way, “to wake up everyday and work under the burning sun to have something to barely eat. What it was like to live with the only hope that someday someone will come for you.” she looked so sad talking about her past, this was a side of her you hadn’t seen and it only let you know that as strong as she looked she could be so vulnerable too and that she had always been alone, just like you.

“Nights were the worst.” Rey continued with her past. “I used to look at the sky and wonder where they were, why did they leave me .”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have asked.” you murmured sincerely reaching to take your hand in yours. Rey’s eyes met yours for the first time since this conversation started.

“At least I’m not alone this time.” She told you, giving a small squeeze to your hand as a tiny smile curved her lips.

“You’re right.” you said offering her a warm smile.

“I’ll try to contact the base. Hopefully we can get out of here soon.” She said already getting up. “You wanna come with me?” she asked.

“I think I’ll pass just this time, I want to see the stars a little longer.” you said admiring the bright stars painting the sky.

“Sure, but stay close, okay?” she said and you nodded. Rey leaned in to press a short kiss over your lips before disappearing inside the Falcon.

You stayed sitting on your place, just admiring the night sky, it calmed you and at the same time the simple sight of it excited you and the old question came back to your mind, “What’s out there?” but this time you knew for sure that there was something else, thousands of unknown planets that awaited for you to discover.

After a while you decided to explore the surroundings, you wanted to know more about this place. And so you took a nice calm walk through the swampy planet, or maybe not as calm as you expected.

The peaceful atmosphere suddenly faded away as you heard a voice that was definitely not there the day before, turning around you spotted a handful of soldiers, their white armor contrasting with the darkness of the night. Quickly hiding behind a tree, you listened carefully to the intruders.

“Affirmative, Sir.” One of them said to a small blue hologram on his gloved hand. “We found the Millenium Falcon.”

“Bring me the girl.” Said the hologram that showed a cloaked figure, his voice was deep and it scared you. You knew who he was referring to, he wanted Rey, this was probably the First Order Rey had talked to you about and therefore the man in the hologram was their leader.

“Right away, Sir.” The trooper said.

A shiver ran down your spine with fear, fear of what could happen to Rey if they captured her. You had to warn her about this. So slowly you tried to back away.

A branch cracking under your foot alerted the troopers who immediately turned their helmets in your direction.

“We found her, Sir.” Was the last thing you heard before one of them shot a weapon at you that made you fall unconscious to the ground.

*******

When your eyes fluttered open you found yourself in an unknown place, you didn’t recognize the strange place you were in but you were sure you weren’t in the swampy planet anymore because you could see the stars through the big windows in front of you.

From the corner of your eyes you caught a tall cloaked man watching you as if he’d been waiting for you to wake up. It was the same man you saw before in the hologram.

“What do you want from me?” you asked.

“From you? Nothing.” He said looking you up and down before taking a few steps away from you, his gaze turning to the big windows of the ship. “It’s incredible how incompetent these troopers are. They brought the wrong girl". he added.

You took your time to scan the room, it was almost empty except for the big black table surrounded by chairs identical to the one you were sitting in. But most important, there was only one big metal door.

One way in and only one way out.

“Then why are you keeping me here?” you raised your voice again.

“You’re just a bait for the scavenger.” The man looked over his shoulder. “You care for her, don’t you? I’ve seen it in your mind.” His words let you perplex, how could he know something like that? Did he just say he saw it in your mind? Apparently this man searched inside your mind while you were unconscious.

“And she cares for you too.” he turned around and walked close to you, a curious gaze on his face, a long scar crossed his face. “But I still don’t understand why you are so important to her.”

A strange sensation crossed your mind, an electric feeling that tickled inside your head and you had the feeling he was inside your mind.

“Oh.” he finally spoke. “An earth girl, you are from earth. I see why you’re so precious to Rey now. A little childish of her to believe in the legends about your people but tell me, have she asked for her wish yet?.”

You stayed silent looking at him with hate.

“Sir!” the door opened and a young man in black uniform appeared in the doorway, panic in his voice. “She’s here.”

The very next moment you saw a known figure stepping into the room. You recognized the silhouette cover in light clothing, the brown hair arranged in three little buns in the back of her head, you recognized those eyes.

It was Rey, and she looked not pleased to see this man as she held the laser sword in her hand.

Immediately as the man saw Rey, he pulled you from your seat, holding you close to him as he ignited his own strange sword made of a red light. He held it close to your neck, you could hear the way the saber buzzing in a dangerous way.

“Let her go, Kylo.” Rey spoke, anger on her voice. So that was the name of this man, Kylo.

“Join me and I’ll let her go.” Kylo growled, never losing his grip on his weapon. “Pledge yourself to my teaching and I swear nothing will ever happen to your precious Earth girl.”

You observed Rey thinking features, but she didn’t say a word.

“She’ll have everything she wants once I rule over the galaxy.” Kylo added and suddenly you realized his true, evil goals.

Rey’s eyes travel from his to yours, a sorry look on them. You knew she couldn’t accept, she would never and you understood, a bit afraid of what would happen next yet you accepted that it was better than Rey joining this rude skyscraper. You slightly nodded to her.

“No.” Rey said. “Never.”

An idea to escape Kylo's grasp crossed your mind in an instant and you hoped it would work, this man was by far stronger and taller than you but hopefully this would set you free.

“I’ll give you one last chance, Rey. Join me.” he said and just as he was about to speak again you punched the side of his body with your elbow, trying to use all your forces. Without knowing you hitted a wound that had not fully healed which made him grunt in pain, unconsciously letting go of you.

As soon as you were free of his grasp you rushed towards Rey but she ran towards the tall man whose saber was already aiming for you but instead was stopped by Rey’s blue saber.

The clash of the lightsabers soon filled the room as Rey and Kylo fought. The adrenaline rushed through your veins for the sudden battle in front of you, a fight to protect you, that was possibly the sweetest thing someone had done for you. However you wanted the fight to end, you didn’t want Rey to get hurt because of you but how could you help if you were just an earth girl?

No, you were much more than that. Maz had told you not to let the place you were from define you and she was right.

Taking the blaster from your waistband you removed the safety lock and aimed at Kylo but Rey’s body interfered in the way, you held your breath for a moment and stopped yourself from pulling the trigger. You hadn’t realized until that moment that your hands were shaking and your heart was racing really fast.

This was more difficult than you thought.

This was not like training with a rock but to shoot at a moving object trying no to hurt Rey in the way. You recalled the training but most important, you remembered Rey’s words: “You have to be sure when you pull the trigger, no time for doubts in battle, hold it steady.”

Sighed, aimed one more time at the big man who kept fighting against Rey, and concentrated you finally pulled the trigger.

The blaster hitted Kylo’s hand forcing him to drop his weapon.

“Rey! Come on!” you said running towards her and grabbing her hand to drag her out of the room, away from that man you already hated.

Rey and you ran through endless hallways of this big ship, never letting go of her hand. She seemed to know the way out, you assumed this was not the first time she had been inside one of these. You ran shooting a few troopers from time to time, you were becoming good at shooting, you raced down the hangar where you spotted the big old ship waiting for you.

“Did you see that? I never thought I could do that.” you said when you made it to the Falcon. “That was awesome, I mean, not that I almost died but that we could escape, we made a really good team, Rey”

She didn’t answer you at first, she was just so concentrated piloting the ship in the vast space, pulling levers and pushing buttons to get as far as possible from the big ship you had just left.

What an adventure.

“Well, where to now?” you giggled, letting yourself fall in the copilot seat.

“Earth” she said before pushing the lever and jumping into hyperspace.

Tagging: @1-800-depressedlesbian , @xgaygremlinx, @natasha-danvers , @deputy-orange-juice

(In case you want to be tagged for specific things or everything I write, just let me know)

#rey of jakku #rey star wars #rey x reader #rey x y/n #i-write-sometimes-blog #rey of nowhere #rey x you #star wars imagine #star wars #rey #dark rey x female reader #earth!reader #earth girl series

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zeldasayer · 5 years ago

Text

Loving Din XI - Afterlife

Pairing: Mandalorian/Din Djarin x Reader

Summary: Your relationship with Din is hanging on by a thread but you can’t let this exquisite love just go to waste.

Warnings: ANGST. Language, confessions of hopelessness, mom & dad please don’t fight.

gif by @djjarindin

“After this, can it last another night? After all the bad advice that had nothing at all to do with life, I’ve gotta know -

Can we work it out?”

“How long has it been?”

“Since?” You ask the hologram of your therapist, Nora, in the living room, as you sit cross legged on the couch in a red sundress. You know what she’s asking but you need to hear her to say it. In case it hasn’t been true.

“Since Din moved out.” She clarifies.

“Just over five months.” You nod slowly, looking down to focus on your fidgeting fingers.

“Do you miss him?” The hologram asks.

“Only when I’m awake.” You smile meekly, your eyes still down. “Or when I’m asleep. Or eating. Or playing with Baby in the ocean.”

“Have you told him this?” She asks slowly.

“No.” You answer flatly.

“Why not?”

“I guess,” You sigh, finally looking up. “It ended so badly. I guess I’m scared he won’t feel the same.”

“Do you believe that to be true?”

“No, but I also never believed we’d be a part at all.”

“Obviously I cannot get into any details of our sessions, but Din is making the same progress as you and Baby.” Nora was your father’s trusted therapist and he was so graciously arranging for you and Din to see her separately and teaching Din tools in how to help Baby trust him again.

You smile, meaning it whole heartedly, and you look back down from the truth of your words. “I’m so glad. Even if we don’t work out, I’m happy he’s finally opening up to someone. He deserves the weight of his past lifted from him”

It got worse before it got better.

Your emptiness melted into rage as you realized you were truly alone. The man who you stood by and filled with hope while he found his place in the galaxy was nowhere to be found now that you’ve lost your way in it. Gone was the man who so softly declared you as the most exquisite woman to ever walk the planet, the most beautiful moon he’s ever known, who found strength in your decision to be delicate despite everything that happened to you and you hadn’t the slightest clue where he went. Din went quiet again. He became calculated, like he thought through every word he said before he said it, every movement before it was made - not to protect you but because he was tired of fighting. Like you, he retreated inward and only came out to help with Baby despite his frustrations. You were two children of existing, not living and you somehow wound up back there again.

You hoped every day that Din would see himself in you, that he’d realize this is what you had to do with him at the beginning, but the moment never came. You would’ve died to help Din find his identity beyond the mask, and now he sleeps with his back to you.

Some nights you wanted to reach out and touch him, trace your fingers along his back, just for the reminder that he is real. Maybe he’d wake and pull you close to him so you could trace your fingers along his chest and match your breathing to his and everything would feel like it used to. But something always held you back.

Din Djarin wasn’t a man who could handle losing control. What made it twice as hard was that he brought it on himself, and in the process crushed the one precious flower he swore he’d never hurt. How could he? The one human being who knew everything about him and didn’t even blink at what he was ashamed of. Who ran her fingers through his hair and told him she would keep him safe when he thought he’d be haunted for the rest of his life.

“We can only haunt ourselves.” You cooed to him before kissing his nose and he carried that sentiment with him everywhere. He believed it until now, for he cannot get the look in your eyes when you told him you were ready to become the ocean out of his mind. It’s burned into his brain and he knows he’s being haunted because he can’t make himself speak.

Din Djarin was the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy but he is too weak to tell the absolute love of his life that he is just as scared as her. That he is haunted every waking moment by how he destroyed their sanctuary, altering their lives forever. He wants to tell you that he sees you and that he’s sorry, that he wants to take the pain away and if he could, he’d feel it for you, but he doesn’t know how. Every familiar feeling of being touch starved, alone in the galaxy returns to him at once and he indulges in them in silence. Din never knew what he did to deserve you and just like he feared, it imploded. You were too good, too beautiful, delicate, loving, patient, ethereal and he ruined you with his dirty hands.

Most nights Din would sit up in the cockpit of the Razor Crest before returning to the bungalow so mad because you lied. We are haunted by more than just ourselves, we are haunted by the memories of the ones we love the most. Din smashed his fist into the dashboard. Once. Twice. Until something sparked because the memories won’t stop playing over in his head. You, smiling in his lap shortly after you met, pressing every button in the ship that would light up. Him snorting with laughter as he pulled you against him.

“You’re just like the kid!” He said into your neck and you giggled holding onto his arms.

“Teach me how to fly this thing, rocket man.” You beamed.

Your faces were younger then but you loved each other with such an unspeakable passion that you believed even then that it could never die. So how could he ever forgive himself for turning that dreamy look in your eye to stone? The same look that made him less afraid and so achingly happy to be alive. Especially when he has resorted to silence in a feeble effort to not make everything worse, for he sees himself in you. And all he wants to do is hold you by the shoulders and say “You are so much like me, I’m sorry.” But that wouldn’t help anyone.

One evening when Din hadn’t return from his classes on time, you left Baby with a bowl of soup on the couch and snuck into your bedroom. Your heart raced as you sat on the ground, connecting the comm to your father.

“Hi d-ad.” Your voice cracked when you saw him.

“What’s wrong, my star?” He noticed right away.

“I don’t feel so good.” You said through ragged breath, bringing your hand to your eyes.

“Are you sick?”

“A little.” You said with a sniff, removing your hand and looking down. “I have all this pain. It’s crushing me, dad.”

Stark sits up and his eyes search you in worry, “Are you safe, my star?”

“Yes, dad. I’m safe.”

“Are you dreaming of the ocean again?”

“Yeah.” You said as tears stream down your face, as it can be so hard to be seen. “I feel like I’m suffocating. Like I’m not going to make it.”

“Where is Din?” he asked.

“Um.” Your lip trembles and now it feels like you may really be dying, “I don’t know if we’re going to make it either.”

Stark sighs. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You shrug. “I don’t know who he is anymore. But I guess I don’t know who I am either. It’s like I miss him, but he’s always right there, like he’s part of what’s hurting me.”

Your father nods. “What can I do to help?”

“Do you still have Nora’s information?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” you sniff, wiping your hand down your face. “Nothing is ever going to change if I keep running in circles, right?”

You look down as your eyes immediately well with tears again.

“I’m proud of you, my star. I promise, this is the hardest part. You can only go up from here.”

You nodded, starting to cry again.

“Madden & I shall leave at once. We will help you with Baby and I’ll set up a meeting between you and Nora. You are the brightest star in the sky and you will shine again, my child.”

“Thanks dad.” You cried. “Just not yet, okay? I haven’t even told Din yet.”

“Told him what?” He asked.

“That I need to do this on my own.”

Din did not take it lightly.

“What the hell does that mean?” He demanded and your attention turned to Baby who’s ears rose at his fathers angered voice.

“He’s going to throw you across the room again.” You said through your teeth.

“Right. Of course.” Din said, rubbing his eyes. “Should we go outside?”

“Fine.” You sighed. Din always took you outside when he was ready to fight. Baby couldn’t hear you over the crashing waves.

You followed him out the back door and he turns around as soon as it closed with you both on the other side, “You know this is so typical you.”

“What?” Your eyes widened.

“You’re always so fucking lonely yet you push everyone away.”

You laughed, “Oh that’s so rich coming from you, Din.”

“Is it?!” He nodded.

“Mr. I Don’t Need Anyone Until I’m About To Lose Fucking! Everything!” You seethed as your voice already felt hoarse.

“OH!” Din exclaims, “I’m going to lose everything huh?”

“If you don’t let me take care of myself, yes. LOOK AT ME.” You cry. “I’M A FUCKING GHOST. AND SO ARE YOU.”

“AT LEAST I WONT FUCKING WALK OUT ON YOU.”

“I’m not walking out on you!” You screeched, in a tone of your own voice you didn’t recognize. “What are you not understanding? Din, my head feels like it’s going to explode and you won’t help me so I need to do this myself.”

“Sorry I can’t help, we do have a son to raise.”

“What the fuck? Who are you?” You asked in disgust as you crossed your arms and walked past him.

You walked only a few steps until you decided to say exactly how you felt.

“Do you know what you were like when I found you?” You spat.

“I found you.” Din said lowly.

“It doesn’t matter. Loving you was like loving a brick wall. It was so hard, Din. But I did it. I helped you raise your son and I held your hand while you figured out who the hell you were. And I did it all without you telling me what you needed, and I figured it out because I loved you. I would have done anything for you. Now I’m standing here screaming to you what I need and you won’t fucking help me.”

“What do you want from me?!” Din asked, his arms out in defeat.

“Have you been listening to me?! Get out of my face and get out of my fucking house!” You screamed.

“Your house?!”

“You are not doing this shit with me right now. You have a ship and I make more credits on one goddamn painting than you do in months.” You scoffed.

“You haven’t painted anything good enough to sell in half a year!”

“Because you’re killing me, Din!” You cried back immediately. Slapping your hand across your mouth from the truth of the words you let escape. Your other hand comes up to cradle the first and they’re both shaking.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. “This isn’t us.”

Din shakes his head slowly.

“Please Din, If you love me, you’ll let me do this.”

It was hard at first. Din and you agreed to four days at a time with Baby, Din living in Razor Crest on the other side of town. The first night you spent alone, you slept on the floor of Baby’s room. It was as far as you could crawl to when you told Din to “Just leave, he’s not going to stop.” and closed the door on him and your son who was crying for you.

It hurt to wake up to the quiet, to eat alone, paint alone. Your first session with Nora was even more of a disaster and you started to wonder if you made the right decision. The only thing you took away from it was her saying, “It hurts to become.” And this is what you chose to believe in, that this pain and uncertainty would be worth it. That when the rain washed you and Din clean, you’d know.

It hurt when Din wouldnt even look at you, how he didn’t even say a word when he first dropped off Baby. How you slid down the door and cried with Baby in your arms as he tried to heal something that he couldn’t.

But time keeps passing wether you’re ready or not and one day you just stop hurting. You don’t know why, or when the exact moment hits until you look up and you realize you’re breathing. You’re breathing and you’re sleeping through the night and it’s something to celebrate like a new born baby. You’re breathing and sleeping and eating properly. You can taste everything, your tea and pomegranates. Dark chocolate and crusty sourdough bread. You open up to Nora, finally and she takes you all the way back to your childhood. You’ve made your first friends as an adult and you realize how important that is, other women who live close by on the island and they are so wonderful. You’re painting, you’re painting incredible work and you’ve rearranged the whole house so it’s yours. Baby sleeps on his own and he’s happy, you’re in a routine and when Din comes to pick him up it doesn’t destroy you. Suddenly, you have a new normal. You are truly alright and you are so proud of yourself but something is missing. You still want to share every moment of your new normal with Din. Though you can get lost in your mind and it can scream so loud, there is stillness inside of you, every sunset you’ve ever seen and you were born to be a lover, and there is still only one person for you.

Later in the afternoon, long after your session with Nora, when you open the door for Din who’s back again to drop Baby off, you notice instantly that he has a beard. It’s patchy and it makes you smile, it looks soft and it’s greying at the sides and it makes you want to blurt out that you miss him. But you ask Baby how his day was instead.

“Wanna show mom what you learned?” Din asks his little green boy as he puts him in your arms, “Okay.”

Din makes a few small movements with his hands, and Baby copies them, slower and loose before looking up at you with a smile.

“It means ‘I love you.’” He mumbles, looking down.

You blink up at him and it feels like you must have forgotten how to breathe. It’s been so long since you heard those words pass through Din’s lips and it feels like the very first time.

“Do you want to come in?” You ask, your voice almost a whisper.

He looks a little puzzled and you continue, “I made dinner.”

Din’s mouth presses into a line, like he’s trying to suppress a smile. “Yeah. I would.”

“I like this.” You say, brushing the back of your finger along his jaw, letting him pass through the doorway, “You’re greying.”

“You just noticed now?”

“Yeah.” You sigh, “I guess so.”

Din sits across from you at the table you dragged out on to the beach a few months earlier and it feels like just how you always wanted life on the island to be. Baby in your lap, cackling into his dinner as the ocean crashes softly into the shore. Din smiling between bites of food and the sun reflecting off his skin makes him look so beautiful. You feel the breeze against your face and you want to live in this moment forever. Passing Baby between the two of you to take turns feeding him, the comfort in realizing you are both still exactly the same yet lighter. It’s like the afterlife between the bad and the inevitable try for resolution when you can just be alright. When everything is finally still and there is sweetness in the familiar small talk and how Din wears his t-shirt and thick black framed eyeglasses, the soft curls of his hair, and the exquisite angle of his nose. It’s like he’s coming back into focus again for the first time in months and you look down from how it overwhelms you.

As always, Baby falls asleep in Din’s lap before you’re finished and when you return to the beach from putting him to bed, Din tells you he should probably get going. He stands and your heart stops.

“Are you going because you want to or because you think you have to?”

“I don’t want to.” He shakes his head.

“Then don’t go.” You say out of breath.

Din sits back down without breaking his eye contact with you and you follow suit. You search his face for a moment unable to hold back.

“Din, I’m sorry.”

“No.” Din shakes his head but you continue.

“We were obviously never destined to be ordinary people and though I truly feel that this time a part was necessary, it just made me realize I don’t want to have these extraordinary problems with anyone else.”

“Please don’t be sorry.” Din shakes his head, closing his eyes. “I said I would be the ground beneath your feet and I wasn’t there for you.”

You smile meekly, “I miss you, Din. It’s always going to be you.”

“I miss you too.” He pauses. “I feel like I’ve learnt so much lately, and I have something to say to you. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” You breathe.

“Okay.” He nods. “I spent my whole life thinking that I was doing all that I could, that I’d never love my own face let alone love someone else. Then I met you and you brought me to life. You brought me to life, Y/N. I had seen the whole galaxy but now I was finally living in it because I was seeing it through your eyes. It was like I had everything. But I got too selfish with you. I thought since you were my home I could take you anywhere and we’d be okay, forgetting that your home is consistency and trust.”

“It’s okay, Din.” You sigh.

“No it’s not.” He shakes his head. “All you ever did was love me exactly how I needed it, like you just knew. And I ruined our home because all I needed was you.”

You look down, at a loss for words.

“You shouldn’t be sorry because I should be begging for your forgiveness. You loved me despite everything and I was too ashamed to say I was so scared of what I had done. I can’t lose you, Y/N. The sun does not rise and set for you because you are the sun. You are the sun. You are the moon. You are every star in the sky. You are everything. Please forgive me for what I’ve done.”

You look up at him, through the blurry vision of tear-filled eyes. “I forgive you, Din.”

“Thank you.” He chokes into the top of your hand, as he’s taken it to press his lips against. “Thank you, my sweet girl.”

You smile through your tears and you come around to his side of the table and Din pulls you into his lap.

“I love you so much.” He says into your neck as he holds you against him tightly, adjusting his arms to get you closer.

“I love you, too.” You run your hand through his hair, like you’ve wanted to for so long and Din lifts his face with your touch.

You see him. The face that looked so familiar even when you first saw it. The skin so breathtaking it makes you cry. The mouth you could watch speak into eternity with a voice that can move mountains. The nose that looks like it was carved from marble by an angel’s delicate hands. And the eyes. The eyes so full of love and loss they could stop any war, so deep and dark you could swim in them forever.

You hold his face in your hands and you are so full of joy because you can finally see him.

“There you are.” You whisper before pressing your lips to his, melting in the familiarity of his moustache brushing your skin.

Tags: @otherthingsinhead @aeryntheofficial @maryan028 @readsalot73 @osric-the-l3m0n-l0v3-demon @capsironunderoos @antclottz @intense-sneezing @igotmadskills @applesislife @marrvelle-fics @killtherandomness @holyground1996 @taoiichii @kyoko-yuuki @bookwormmarvel @xplrreylo @the-resident-demon @sad-anxious-girl @jaegers-and-kaijus @drinkfantasy @forbidden-darkness @hyveee @fangirlfreakingout @petalduck @fahhhhq @thatonebishsstuff @midnightsinger @jenniferdaniels12 @hiscyarika @tryn25 @raveviolet @watsonwise @aproperthottie @lettonystarkbehappydamnit @hyunjins-wife @lilwickedred @yellowbubblewrap @pascalisthepunkest @kate013 @french-lace-lavender

It’s all fluff and beauty from here on out. 4 more parts to go.

Love, Zelda

#the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian #the mandalorian angst #the mandalorian fluff #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the mandalorian x reader #baby yoda #star wars fluff #star wars #star wars fanfiction #din djarin x reader #din djarin #loving din

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bexterbex · 5 years ago

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A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 17

Warning, if it hasn’t been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 17: Spaceflix and Chill?

Summary: Kylo once again did not allow you to hold the data pad yourself but allowed you to scroll through the app. None of the titles of the videos were ones that you were familiar with. Almost as if you were scrolling in some foreign version of Netflix. Luckily there were genres you were familiar with; comedy, drama, horror, documentary, sci-fi and finally romance.

_______________________________________________________________________

Sitting in his lap, against his chest, this was the first time you really admired the strength that you could feel. His arms were strong, his chest was broad. From what you could remember from earlier today when you had caught his shirtless, you remembered all of the toned muscles you saw. The man holding you was a mountain of strength and compared to him, you felt as if you were an anthill made of sand. Small and easily destroy, whereas it would take an act of god to break him.

You had no idea how long you two had been sitting like that but you were hungry. But before you could voice this your phone dinged with your text alert sound. You struggled but managed to reach it from Kylo’s lap.

It was (second oldest brother). ‘Please don’t mention anything to your match, I promise that we are going to register tomorrow.’

And another one came through from your oldest brother, ‘Mom mentioned that your match is a high ranking First Order officer. If he has anything to do with communication or engineering could you put in a good word for me?’

Of course, they only ever spoke to you at family functions or if they needed/didn’t want something. You remember when they had met their matches, how happy you had been for them, and how their matches felt like more of siblings to you than they did. It hurt that the first time they knew that you had met Kylo, that they didn’t congratulate you.

You were just done. Done with everything and you just wanted to finally be happy. Kylo removed your phone from your hand and put it back on the coffee table. He drew you back to his chest once again. This time you swore you could feel him kiss the top of your head before he buried his face in your hair once again.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said finally.

You felt conflicted, you should ‘put in’ a good word for your brother, especially if your match with Kylo were to ever to become public. You also felt that you should tell Kylo to ignore your (second oldest brother)’s worries. But at the same time, you felt wronged by your family.

“Can you see if there is a way that you can favor (oldest brother) without seeming too obvious about it,” you asked. “And ignore (second oldest brother), I believe that he will do the right thing. His kids don’t deserve punishment for his stupid actions if it comes to it.”

Kylo searched your eyes for a moment before nodding. At least he was willing to do this, but you didn’t know if it was because you had asked, or if it was because he felt sorry for you. You honestly weren’t in the mood to find out.

“Can we have dinner soon,” you asked finally. “This day has me wiped.”

Kylo nodded and with a smile, he stuck out his hand. You saw his data pad fly across the room and into his hand. You were in shock, he had a small smile on his face. You turned around on his lap so your back was to him but you were facing the data pad. You saw that he pulled up the food ordering app.

“Pick out what you would like,” he said. His breath tickling the top of your head.

You scrolled through it, he was still holding it. It felt oddly intimate, you in his lap with his data pad in his hand but you were on it. You found some food that intrigued you and you put it in your order. “What would you like to eat,” you asked.

Into your hair, he said simply, “order for me.”

You felt a jolt of excitement, he chuckled noticing your new enthusiasm with the app. You had no idea what he liked, you hadn’t had a chance to ask him. “What do you like,” you asked.

“I will like anything you order for me,” he said with mirth in his voice.

You didn’t know how to feel about that. You felt it could be one of three things. The first is that he didn’t care about what he ate at all. The second was that the app only had the food he likes. Or the third option was that he was flirting with you. The last one made you flush slightly. After all, you were sitting in his lap. You decided to ignore it for the moment and made a neutral choice from the app, something you recognized.

Once you placed the order he set the data pad back down and put his arms around you keeping you close. This made you feel some type of way. You felt as if you were there for only a few moments before a droid entered with your food. You reluctantly got up from his lap and made your way to the dining room to eat.

Sneaking a glance at Kylo you could see he had a slight hint of blush that extended down into his shirt. You wondered briefly how far down the blush went before you dismissed the thought from your mind.

Although he was your match, there was still so much to know about him before you could let your mind go there. After all, he wasn’t some brief college fling, this was your soulmate—you needed to take this seriously.

You both ate with a pleasant silence between you. You had no idea and a million ideas about what to talk about. None of the things that came to mind were things that you could properly string into a sentence. Even though you felt comfortable with him you were also uneasy. You felt as if you were an open book but he was some ancient texts lost in translation. You finished what you both eating and returned to the lounge.

Sitting on the loveseat once again you were immediately pulled into his arms. He summoned his data pad and told you to pull up a holovid, something that you would want to watch. This perplexed you a bit.

Kylo once again did not allow you to hold the data pad yourself but allowed you to scroll through the app. None of the titles of the videos were ones that you were familiar with. Almost as if you were scrolling in some foreign version of Netflix. Luckily there were genres you were familiar with; comedy, drama, horror, documentary, sci-fi and finally romance.

Although he agreed with wanting a romantic relationship earlier on the phone with your parents, you felt as if he was not the romance type. You also didn't know his brand of comedy, so you stuck with the tried and true sci-fi. You took the chance to look back at him. His head was leaned back against the couch and his eyes were closed. You picked one that seemed interesting to you and immediately the data started projecting a hologram! This startled you a bit and Kylo felt you jolt and sat back up.

He placed the data pad on the coffee table and placed one hand on your stomach and the other wound its way into your hair. You could tell that he was not at all interested in the movie, but was just content to sit with you. You were happy with this.

The movie was interesting, to say the least, enough to keep your attention but nothing you would watch again. About halfway through it, you felt the hand on your stomach drift lower and lower. At first, you didn’t mind but after a while, you could feel a bit of heat pool in your underwear. Before the end of the movie, his hand was in between your legs, thankfully you were fully clothed otherwise there might have been a major problem. You also didn’t want to squeeze your thighs shut for fear of calling attention to the problem.

You quickly glanced back at Kylo, his head was still resting on the couch, his eyes were still closed, but the hand that was in your hair was now just resting on the armrest. You turned your attention back to the movie as something major was happening. You could feel his fingers absentmindedly twitch every so often. This made the heat grow stronger.

The moment the movie ended you rushed to get up. This was the first time in the better part of two hours that Kylo had seemingly consciously done anything. He made a noise of protest and looked annoyed at the change of your position. But you didn’t stick around long, you rushed to your room and into your bathroom.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, you were completely reddened and your pupils were dilated. In an effort to get a hold of your self you splashed cold water on your face. That seemed to only help your blush, but it did not seem to help the heat in your underwear. You went pee, which helped and washed your hands and splashed water on your face once more. You felt much more normal afterward. You debated whether or not you needed to change, but you thought that might draw unwanted attention to your situation.

You exited the bathroom and bedroom, joining Kylo what you now referred to as the living room once more. You sat on the loveseat only to be pulled back into his lap. This frustrated you a bit as you wanted a bit of distance to help your predicament.

Kylo hooked his chin over your shoulder and asked if you wanted to watch another holovid. Part of you did as you liked the relaxing aspect of watching a movie, but part of you was flustered and knew that it would not be a good idea. With one hand holding the data pad, you now felt his other hand skimming the outside of your thigh, making it difficult to think.

“I actually think I should go to bed, I have the committee meeting early in the morning and I would like to be rested before speaking to people I don’t know,” you said as the introverted person you are.

You felt the hand that was skimming your outer thigh move to trace the top of your pants. Kylo had put the data pad back on the coffee table and had moved to your upper thigh with its fingertips dangerously too close to your crotch.

Kylo made a noise of disapproval at your statement of wanting to go to bed. The hand that was on your thigh gripped you tighter and his hips shifting underneath you. It took every fiber of your being to remind you that you had met this man yesterday. And that even though he was your soulmate you were not going to treat this like any of the flings you had in college. You wanted to know this man, to truly know this.

It was at this point you remembered that he could read minds, and you blushed once more. Did he read your mind earlier in the bathroom or while you were sitting with him during the movie? If he did and was doing so now he should be able to also tell that sleeping with him right now was not something you were comfortable with, although you really wanted to. You were going to do this right. Whatever this is.

You moved to get up once more, slightly chanting in your head that you wanted to wait on this. As you did you felt the hand that had been on your thigh just ghost over your crotch before ultimately letting you go. As you stood you turned your head to look at Kylo, whom you caught in the act at looking at your butt.

“Goodnight,” you said.

Clearing his throat he said, “goodnight.”

You made your way into your room once more and took a quick cold shower to relieve yourself from any unwanted symptoms. You made a quick thought against touching yourself as you didn’t know if he was still reading your mind. You reminded yourself that you wanted to wait. You changed and crawled into bed, setting an early morning alarm on your newly modified phone. It didn’t take long to drift into sleep.

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo x reader #kylo x you #star wars #first order #star wars imagine #Star wars soulmate au #sw first order imagine #star wars first order #a soul to mend his own

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benka79 · 4 years ago

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I know no one is reading this madness but... I just have to scream about the Tom Paris x Harry Kim subtext...

Timeless

Writers gave us two KimRis parallels...

First... Janeway asking Chakotay to have dinner with her. (With romantic hints all over)

While this was happening, Tom and Harry were close with each other. And Harry ends up gesturing to his best buddy platonic friend. It means. Writers showed us TWO RELATIONSHIPS in the past.

Then... Present... Chakotay had a new love and he was willing to not change the past to stay with this new lover...

Oh man, he changed Janeway for that girl, even when the producers made him stare longingly and sadly at our Captain. (Once when she asked Chakotay to dinner with her and the second time when she was dead and frozen on the bridge).

But... Why Harry hadn't doubts about turning back time??? Okay, we could think GUILT! REGRETS!

But because he mentioned they lost THE PEOPLE THEY LOVED... And he was willing to die for them... And he wouldn't change his mind... And they put that parallel with J/C... I will conclude, yeah, he was doing this because he wouldn't change ANYONE IN HIS FUTURE FOR HIS JUST PLANOTIC BUDDY TOM.

Now, the message Harry o himself to repair his mistake... Is linked to Tom Paris's letter to his father. Or how I like to call it, the letter he wrote for his own growth.

30 Days

Even when we got another rewind in Tom Paris career... From Lieutenant to Ensign, this episode represented again his huge issues with his father but it talked about what's inside Tom.

I'm gonna divide this insights in two parts.

Tom's Fantasy World: Captain Proton

Something that could start like a game, was playing a very important part of Tom inner thoughts.

The whole adventure of Captain Proton resume Tom's fantasies and deeper desires. Because deep inside Tom wants to save the day and be a hero. He needs to proof he is worthy by being a superhero. But mostly, he is always saving the girl in danger. And when I say the girl in danger, I'm talking about Harry. Because Harry represents the imposible love interest he wants to reach. In this episode he arrives to save Harry again but this time from the evil Delaney's twins. But Harry shows him he wanted more time with the evil girls. (Imagine Tom trying to save Harry from women just to show him that he should be his only hero in that story, in his fantasy.)

When they go out from the Holodeck, Paris talks again about the letters... (Because they're trying to fix the letters they got, one of them is Paris's father letter)

PARIS: Any progress on those starcharts?

MEGAN: I'll have them to you by fourteen hundred.

The fact that Paris is bringing back that to us is because again, something very meaningful related to his father will happen. Because this evil letter made his character to go backwards in his behavior. Remember?

But then... Look at this:

PARIS: I think Jenny really likes you.

KIM: Yeah, I know.

PARIS: I thought the feeling was mutual.

KIM: How many times do I have to tell you? I like Megan, but she won't give me the time of day.

PARIS: What is the difference?

KIM: You can't be serious.

PARIS: They're the Delaney sisters, Harry. They're twins.

KIM: Are you kidding? They're nothing alike. Jenny's aggressive and sometimes annoying. But Megan, she's quiet, artistic, and she's got that cute little dimple in her right cheek.

PARIS: Jenny doesn't have the dimple?

KIM: No dimple.

Okay, I will stop here. Pay attention to this because I'm in awe here of the amount of subtext: THIS IS A LOVE TRIANGLE AND IS A BLATANT REPRESENTATION OF B'ELANNA->TOM->HARRY.

Tom tried to show a point to Harry because Delaney's sisters, here representing women, are the same to him BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SHOW HIS FRIEND WOMEN ARE THE SAME. SHOULD HARRY TASTE THE RAINBOW THEN? 😂

And because is a Tom's episode, is Tom centric so... Jenny is B'elanna, because she's aggressive and sometimes annoying. Harry is Tom here, because B'elanna likes him. But Harry/Tom is in love with Megan, because Megan is quiet, artistic, and she's got that cute little dimple in her right cheek. This is screaming HARRY all over even the dimple!!!!

Gif credit @skjc-writes

But the sad thing here is Harry saying IS AN UNREQUITED LOVE. And then Tom adding this...

PARIS: Well, you've done it again, Harry.

KIM: What?

PARIS: Fallen for the unattainable woman. First it was a hologram, then a Borg, and now the wrong twin.

I'm screaming here!!!! Because HARRY IS UNANTTAINABLE TO TOM!!!!!! ARE YOU READING THISS?? Of course no, I'm alone here, but, nevermind. 😂

Deep Inside Tom's Ocean

Another huge symbolism was the ocean planet and how they needed to go deeper to find the truth about the instability of that world.

The Ocean was a symbolic representation of Paris. We had a whole world installed almost in the surface of the waters that was about to fall down. It was an entire society.

When Tom decides to go deeper, they found another contractions that belonged to an older society who had lived there before. But... What was there wasn't the source of their incoming destruction. The new society was the one carving their own graves.

How we could read this related to Paris? Well, as I said, imagine the ocean is Tom. The society and buildings that are next to the surface is the self-destructive personality Tom had created in order to face his failures in trying to fulfill his father's expectations.

The old society buried in the bottom of the ocean is his true self. He's sensitive, and creative, and innocent like a child. But he abandoned that purity to build the surface. Because his true feelings wouldn't be accepted by his father. (This include his bisexuality).

Throughout the whole episode they repeat that the old society in the bottom of the sea IS NOT GUILTY for the incoming destruction. So, Tom's deepest feelings and thoughts and fantasies, what he really is, is not the cause of his self destruction.

The bad people here is the new society, that fake shield Tom had built for years to carry his low self esteem created by his incapability of fulfill his father's expectations. It's a self-destructive personality and is not who he really is.

The bad thing is, Tom is trying to destroy it, but Janeway blocked him. He couldn't... And he is still in his emotional prison.

Finish the Letter.

Tom starts recording a message to his father. It starts as if he was apologizing, but it will end as a compilation of his true desires. He wants to fight for what he feels is worthy. And sometimes you just have to take the risk.

The fact that Harry went to see him and not B'elanna is very meaningful and it shows why is Paris pining for him more than for B'elanna. But it also shows why Paris feels Harry is the unattainable love for him. And it show in the fact that Tom was avoiding Harry's eyes. He felt ashamed. He was ashamed of the man his friend had to see. His rank had been lowered. He was in prison again. Even after confessing behind the mask of a fantastic adventure of a ship that Harry was his NUMBER ONE.

He was feeling again he didn't deserve Harry he didn't deserve to be visited by him. He even let his self destructive personality to show again, but Harry, with eyes full of pain, gives Paris an advice that will close some of his wounds.

Harry is the one waking him up from the nightmare of deception. That's a huge symbolism because even with Harry there, bringing him back to reality, Tom will relate that with the fact that he feels he left down Harry too.

Harry asks Tom to finish his letter. To start healing that huge damage he has inside, the voice of his father yelling at him to do this and that, to be better. To not be what he wanted to be.

Finish the Letter for his father, because it will help him. Even if his father never hear it. Tom did it. He finished the letter. And then in his fantastic world of Captain Proton B'elanna repeats those words to him he really needs to hear from his father: I'm proud of you.

He has a long way to walk through. But it caught my attention that in season 5 we are still stuck in this matter. He should be showing more growth as a character. We are swimming in the same daddy issue and I suspect we will be swimming for a long time too.

I think the writers doesn't know what 'move on' means.

Miscellaneous: Megan and Harry mentioned to Tom the number 14 like something he needed to reach. (The remaining time to know about the letters and to get out from prison) This number represents EQUILIBRIUM and also LOVE. Maybe are those the two things Tom needs to achieve. Mostly, self love and acceptance.

Another interesting fact was the episode in which Seven said Tom got out from the cryogenic bed 4 TIMES. I'm thinking that maybe is related to everytime Tom had been in prison. We are counting three times so far. Let's see 😂.

#st voy #kimris #kimris meta #sta voy meta #star trek voyager #tom paris #harry kim #harry kim x tom paris #homoerotic subtext #star trek meta

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fandom-meanderer · 5 years ago

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Not Your Classic Vigilante [Pt. 11]

Pairing: Batfamily x Batsis!Reader

Part: (11/?) [First] [Previous] [Next]

Genre: General Fiction

Fandom: DC Universe

P.o.V.: 3rd

Word Count: 3,793 Words

Warnings: Language

Further Notes: From now on, I’ve decided that chapters will be longer! I hope you enjoy :D

Eve had proved to be beneficial, the thought resided in Damien’s mind. Thanks to her, he was able to clear a few things up.

First of all, her, his sister, and the others in combat were all a part of a unit known simply as the Brigade. Their roles in battle are determined by the main color of their uniform, black being front-liners and white meaning support. The embroidery further specialized, red being combat specialists, silver being magic, and copper being artillery. Amongst the Brigade, his sister was the Captain, and her right hand was Alexander.

The nation they were in right now was known wholly as Caelum, while their zeroed in location is a small village known only as Hymnal. They were currently at war with the neighboring nation Imperium. From his understanding, the people of Caelum all came from different Earths, while the one they stood on at the current moment was artificial, man-made. But despite that there stood an established government, a monarchy to be specific, and an absolute one at that. The Brigade was at their mercy and, according to Eve, they couldn’t have had a worst ruling family, for reasons unspecified.

Regardless, Damien’s eyes shift over to the blackened window, they’ve been sitting in the house for who knows how long now. He was certain that the land beyond them was scorched even further down that the earth it once resided on. He scratched his head, he came here out of impulse and, no doubt, the others were probably looking for him. He couldn’t stop the wave of guilt that overcame him, but at the same time he couldn’t care less. They were the ones who didn’t understand, it wasn’t his fault, he was doing this for his very-much alive sister, after all. They, for some reason, wouldn’t understand.

—

(Name)’s vision was starting to blur. How long had they been fighting again? How many of the monsters have come? God only knows. (Name) looks over at the forest. There aren’t anymore approaching, but that doesn’t cancel out the ones still fighting. She takes a step back to steady herself, but with the growing casualties, the overlapping dissonances, and the lowering visibility, it was clear that if she stayed on field she would just become a hinderance.

“Captain?” The voice was indiscernible, be it because of sheer exhaustion or the loud howls, it didn’t matter. (Name) felt two steady hands on her arms, holding her upright.

“Don’t worry about me, I’d be fine even if I didn’t want to be,” (Name) musters out. “Who… who are you?” (Name) turns her head, but her vision just continued to blur.

“Damn, you’re in no condition to continue,” the voice continued. He slung her arm around his shoulder and led her to the safe house.

“Captain!” Another distorted voice.

“Sister?”

‘Eve and Damien,’ the Captain relaxed as whoever it was laid her on the floor. Eve kneeled over her and began performing a healing charm.

“I’m heading back out there,” the voice continues.

“Right, I’ll take care of her here, Carter,” Eve says. (Name) groans, and finally blacks out.

“What… what’s wrong with her?” Damien asks. Eve just scrunches her face.

“She’s pushed herself too long,” Eve shakes her head sadly. Damien’s eyes glossed over his sister, or whoever the hell that was. His sister didn’t look like this. His sister wasn’t supposed to be covered head to toe in blood, she isn’t supposed to have a dislocated arm, or a giant gash across her abdomen. His sister would have never worn a military uniform, let alone be the Captain of one. (Name) Wayne would have never step foot near danger, no, she would have run away and called one of them.

And, if rumors are true, she tried to call all of them that night.

“Damien, how long do you think we’ve been here?”

“A few hours?”

“For you, yes, but the Captain has been here since the fight broke out,” Eve frowns. “Which was two days ago.”

“What? That’s impossible,” Damien grunts.

“For you and me, yes, but the Captain is a special case,” Eve explains. She moves her hands to the unconscious woman’s head and rests it gently, a calming light emerging from underneath her palm. “We all arrived at different times, the latest one was Nixon, he arrived just a few hours ago.”

Damien’s mind flashes back to the man who told (Name) to abandon him somewhere and he quickly grimaced. He definitely wasn’t going to get along with him any time soon, and hopefully if things work out, he wouldn’t have to. If things worked out, in just the next day they’ll be back in the manor, as things should be.

“Either way, your sister will be back up in no time,” Eve reassures. “From what the transmissions have been saying, she’s going to make a beeline back to the Capital as soon as she wakes up… She’s been away from her post for too long, and the Royal family is starting to become impatient.”

“Post?”

“Oh, well she is the Captain of the Guard, plus, with what Alex has been saying over the transmission, one of us is going to have to head over to the Kingdom Capital and explain what’s going on,” Eve says. “Carter was going to go before, but the Captain volunteered herself. Knowing her, she’s probably going to take you with her.”

“I see.”

“She would prefer to stay, but with the hoards dying down and with Alex’s mentor coming along soon, the Captain is assured everything will be fine.” Eve quickly retracts her hand as (Name) groaned softly. Slowly, she opened her eyes and pushed herself up.

“Thank you… Eve…” she mumbles. She rolls her dislocated shoulder a bit. “Can you… Can you pop that back?” Eve nods and does as she is told and (Name) let out a satisfied sigh and thanks her.

“Anything for you, Captain,” she smiles. (Name) turns over to look at Damien.

“You and I have a lot to talk about, Damien,” she rubs the back of her head. “And as much as I’d rather rest for a bit more, I’m going to have to cut to the chase. We’re going to the Capital, and you’re coming with me. No arguments.”

“Alright,” Damien bit his tongue back.

“Eve, do you mind?”

“Not at all!” Eve stood up and waved her hand in a circle, a large portal materializing. “I’ll send you updates, Captain.”

“Please do, and be safe.”

“When am I not?” With that, (Name) nudged her head towards the portal and watched Damien enter first, then she followed close behind, the portal closing itself right as she entered.

Damien and (Name) stepped out of the swirling vortex and found themselves in the middle of a technology wonderland. If you can think of it, it’s there. Flying cars, androids, hover boards, holograms, etc. (Name) raised her eyebrow and laughed.

“Welcome to the Kingdom’s Capital,” she says. She digs through her pockets and holds out a small cube.

“Jason… Jason has taken you on his motorcycle before, right?” The name seemed uneasy on her lips.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, this will be the exact same but three times faster,” she smirks. “Try not to get whiplash, Boy Wonder.”

“Do not—” he stops talking once she tosses the cube to the floor and it expands into a large motorbike.

“Climb on,” she says, gesturing to sit in front of her. “Oh, come on. Some knights ride horses, I ride bikes, it’s much more effective.” Damien shakes his head out of his shock and obeys. In a quick rev of her engine, the two sped down the streets of Capital City.

Damien thought he wouldn’t have been so awestricken by the sight, but for some reason he was. He knew they were speeding down the highways, that much was evident by the blurring lines of light that surrounded him, but time seemed to be at a simultaneous standstill, it felt peaceful, as strange as that sounds. He decided to chalk it up to their departure from the previous war zone.

The two come to a slow at a rather run down area, and (Name) helps him off while she recondenses the motorcycle back into it’s capsule. Unlike the marvel of mainstream Capital, this area seemed more familiar, the roads were a bit less kept, there were overgrown plants in some areas, the shops had certainly seen better days, but it felt familiar.

“More like Gotham?” (Name) seemed to have read his thoughts. He only nods. “Yeah, I thought so too, follow me,” she nudges to a bar, and the two walk in swiftly. It was empty, even the barkeeper was absent, Damien looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was only 8:32 am.

“Is it that early?”

“Being in battle really fucks with your sense of time,” (Name) explains. She opens a back door and gestures for Damien to ascend the stairs first. She closes the door behind them and leads him to the eighth floor. After a series of torn wallpaper and stained carpet, they stop in front of a plain looking unit. “Home sweet home,” she kicks open the door and pushes him inside.

“I thought you were the Captain of… whatever it was,” Damien eyes her suspiciously.

“Yeah, I am, but those idiots in the Brigade break so much shit it comes out of my paycheck,” (Name) deadpans. “I’m going to go take a shower, the Queen would have a heart attack if I got blood anywhere in the mansion. There’s some juice in the fridge if you’re up to it. We’ll grab lunch later,” (Name) instructs. She disappears into the hallway and Damien is left alone once again.

He sits on the couch in the small living room and bounces on it slightly, feeling the stiff springs under him, and he looks around the unit. It was nothing like where they used to live in Gotham, even her dorm was better than this, from what he remembered. A true downgrade, and he was certain (Name) would want to come back to the Manor just from comparing it to this alone. He looked out the window, the skyline of Capital in perfect display.

At least there was that one thing worth it in this place. He continues to stoop around and his eyes land on the mantle, the only thing sitting on it was one of his father’s tools, he remembers that Dick had jokingly called it a “batarang.” He picks it up and feels the weight in his hands. Now why would his sister have kept it if she never wanted to go home.

“I made it myself.” (Name) read his mind once again. “It’s not made out of the same metal though, but I figured if I could replicate it I could apply it to other weapons for the Brigade to use.” She walks up to him and takes it from his hand, placing it back to it’s rightful place. Damien looks her over, one wouldn’t have been able to tell that she was just massacring monsters only an hour earlier. Instead, she was in a pristine uniform with a specific emblem etched onto a badge on her shoulder.

“Ready to go, kiddo?” She asks.

“Yeah.”

—

“What do you mean, you can’t find him?” Dick shouts. Tim rubs his head angrily and gestures toward the screen.

“Do you see him on the radar? No? Well, neither can I!” He argues. Jason rolls his eyes.

“Stop arguing,” Bruce sighs.

“Why am I even here?” Jason grumbles. He takes his helmet. “I’m out, this is stupid. He’ll come back when he wants to, and when he’s not thinking like some crazy lunatic.”

“Jason has a point, this isn’t Damien’s first tantrum,” Bruce concedes.

“Jason, Bruce, wait, come on, we should make sure he’s alright,” Dick reasons. Tim turns back to the bat computer and a notification pings. “It’s from an unknown source…”

“What is it?”

“If you want to find your brother, here’s a hint,” Tim recites. He looks back at his two brothers, who just shrug and look back up at the screen. Tim obliges and opens the file. It was a grainy CCTV footage, but the figure centered in it was unmistakable. They watched as Damien ran around the area, asking random people who happened to be passing by, and what not, then a stranger walked up to him and inaudibly told him something. Whatever he said, Damien followed him into the cafe. Then they walked out and into a back alley. Although they were out of sight, the bright light that came from that alley was enough to hint to them what happened.

And so, operation Save Damien is a go.

—

Soon enough, (Name) stopped in front of a building and climbed off.

“We’re here, stay close.”

Damien, at first, trailed behind (Name). They entered into the huge manor, and he quickly found that it existed in a state that was in a stark difference from the technological marvel that was Capital City. Though, a strange thought, it resembled Wayne Manor in some ways. Damien noted that the manor lacked the advancement as the city, but who was he to judge? He just fell into the world a few hours ago.

“Hey, catch up,” (Name)’s voice was softer, more familiar. She stopped to let him walk next to her. “I know what you’re thinking, why does this place look so different from the outside?”

“Yeah.”

“The Queen is paranoid that technology will be the death of them,” (Name) explains. “Which is ridiculous, I mean I get it, but we have the best cyber-security team in all of the Earths, she should just learn how to accept it by now. I can’t wait until the Prince gets coronated, I swear,” (Name) sounded more like she was complaining now.

“I’ve heard the Royal family isn’t the best,” Damien comments. (Name) nods.

“You’re right. The King and Queen are too stuck up for their own good, if they talk to you keep it brief. The Prince is more lenient, you should be fine with him. But do not speak unless spoken to. The Queen is a bitch and the King is a pushover.”

“So why are you talking about them like that?”

“They couldn’t kill me if they tried. And it would be a dumb move on them to get rid of their best playing card.” (Name) stops in front of two large doors. “Ready?”

“Sure.”

(Name) pushed the doors open and they walked into the grand throne room. Before them sat three of the most powerful people in that world and, to say the least, Damien felt the pressure in the atmosphere. It was similar to those few times when he knew his enemies out-skilled him. He found himself subconsciously moving towards his sister.

“Captain,” the King spoke.

“Your majesty.” (Name) stopped a few feet away from the thrones, bowed her head, and put her hand to her heart. Damien followed suit.

“What is that behind you,” the Queen spat. Damien didn’t miss the annoyed look in (Name)’s eyes as she looked up at the other woman.

“My younger brother.”

“I see,” she relaxes into her seat. “Quite the predicament you’ve found yourself in. If he will affect your duties, dispose of him.”

Damien’s fists clenched behind his back, but he said nothing.

“That won’t be a problem. I’ve decided to take him in as my apprentice.”

“Tch,” the Queen turned her nose. Damien suddenly realizes why Jason would be so pissed when he did that to him. “So he’s virtually untouchable.”

“Yes.”

“Give me news on that village,” the King cut into the conversation.

“It’s unsalvageable, your majesty,” (Name) replied curtly. He shifted slightly.

“How many survivors?”

“Five.”

“Hundred?”

“No, your majesty. Five,” (Name) touched her heart again. “Correction, three.”

“My god,” the Queen shook her head. “How could your team, your special operations unit, have failed?!”

“I believe I’ve told you before, your majesty, there have been frequent sightings of a new and much stronger daemon in our midst. Before, we were able to handle up to five at a time on our own, but, for reasons unknown, an entire herd descended upon the village,” (Name) stood her ground and continued to explain the situation, all of which Damien already knew as Eve filled him in.

Damien’s eyes wandered to the Prince, who was silent this entire time. He was watching (Name) with a strange mix of curiosity, confusion, and concern. His head rested on the palm of his hand as he tried to feign superiority, but he held a similar annoyed expression that (Name) had, with his eyes constantly shifting to the Queen, who seemed ready to boil over with rage.

“I see,” the King tapped his foot, the sound bouncing off of the room’s walls. “I take it the situation is being dealt with at this time.”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“You are to remain in the Capital until your unit returns, the Royal Family needs top security. These attacks you have been detailing have occurred far too frequently.”

“I understand, your majesty.”

“Dismissed.” (Name) bowed her head again, turned on her heel, and left.

—

“When you called her a bitch I thought you were just exaggerating,” Damien huffs. (Name) pushed his salad towards him.

“Eat.”

“I am, I am,” Damien pouts.

“Okay, now that I’ve figured out an excuse not to get you killed, you’re still on thin ice, Dami. You have to stick with me from now on, no wandering off. And don’t try lying to the Queen, her ability is TruthSeek. It’s impossible to lie to her.”

“Ability?”

“Oh, right. Well, everyone in this world, or at least when we entered, gained something we call “Special Abilities,” basically they’re all unique things we can do. The Queen can tell if you’re lying, the King can cause all of your bones to crush in the snap of his fingers, and so on.”

“What’s your ability?”

“Confidential.”

“Why?”

“We’re in a public space,” (Name) shrugs.

“What about the Prince?”

“We call it SharpShot, but after a few demonstrations, Alex and I are thinking it’s something else. Basically, he is able to always hit his target. He could throw it the other way and it would still find its way to its destination. Alex theorizes that it has something to do about manipulation of space now, but we’re working on it,” (Name) rambles. “Now it’s your turn. How’d you get here?” It sounded more like a demand than a question.

“The morning after you came home, you left again, and for some reason no one remembered that you were ever really there. So I went out to look for you on my own. After that this man in a lab coat came up to me, told me where you were, and took me there.”

“He landed here with you.”

“No, just me.”

“Describe him some more.”

“Gray hair, tan vest, silver pocket watch—“

“Do you remember the watch’s engraving?”

“I do, but I can’t describe it.”

“Can you draw it?”

“Yeah.” Without wasting another second, (Name) grabbed a pen from her pocket and a napkin and handed it to him.

“Take your time.” (Name) drank her coffee as Damien scribbled away in front of her, but truth be told, as soon as he began to draw the head of a dragon she already knew. “The man who took you, his name is Kristoff Hargreeve. He’s the head scientist for Imperium, and also who Alex and I believe is orchestrating the daemon attacks. But I’m curious as to why he would bring you here to me, and not with him.”

“It would make more sense to use me as a hostage,” Damien adds in, (Name) nods curtly.

“Exactly. And it can’t be a distraction, even if I was away the rest of the Brigade are more than capable of handling the war,” (Name) leaned back on the back of the booth and stretched her legs out. “I’ll talk about it more with Alex when he gets back.”

“That name is familiar,” Damien mutters.

“Well you have heard it tossed around left and right,” (Name) chuckles, the annoyed look from Damien makes her laugh even louder. “Geez, kiddo, I’m just kidding. Yeah, he’s the same Alex who I used to penpal.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“He has the picture of me that I sent him, even with the note on the back. And it’s not weird, I have his too,” (Name) shrugs. “So we stuck together, it was easier to have a familiar face in a world of the unfamiliar.”

“Why didn’t you ever come home?” Damien asks. It was clear that they had the ability to traverse the different Earths, (Name) had a feeling the question was going to come up, but she had secretly prayed it didn’t.

“I didn’t want to.” Damien opens his mouth to argue, but is quickly cut off by yet another new face.

“(Name)! Thank god you’re okay!” The waitress bounded up to them and wrapped her arms around (Name). “I was afraid that I’d have to pay Tyler.”

“What?”

“We were betting on whether or not you’d make it back.”

“Oh fuck you two get out of here!”

“Pay up, bitch boy!” She looks over her shoulder at another waiter, Tyler, who rolled his eyes and pulled out a bill. The waitress slides in next to Damien. “This your secret kid, (Name)?”

“No, he’s my brother.”

“Oh my god, he is so adorable—“ the Waitress reaches out to pat his head but Damien catches her wrist before she could move another inch. “And now I see why he’s your brother. Hey, I’m Rebecca.”

“Damien.”

“(Name) and Damien Wayne, huh? Has a nice ring to it,” Rebecca smiles. Her eyes fall on the drawing in front of Damien and she straightens herself, she leans in and whispers only loud enough so that he and (Name) could hear.

“They’re pulling back their forces at Gronder.”

“What? Why would they do that? They have the upper hand,” (Name) mumbles.

“Me and Ty were wondering too, but according to Crys, a huge shipment of whatever was just delivered to their position. It was blue flagged too.”

“Living cargo,” (Name) mutters. “The entire East army is about to get wiped out.”

“If the King deploys you there I will not hesitate to rip his head off, (Name).”

“Please don’t do that.” (Name)’s lips draw a straight line. Then everything started to make sense, the pieces fell together, and Damien was able to pinpoint the exact moment (Name) realized that she had made a mistake.

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#batman #batfamily #batfamily x reader #batfam x reader #batsis!reader #batsis #batfamily x batsis!reader #batfam x batsis!reader #batfam x batsis #DC #dceu #dc universe

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doctor243 · 5 years ago

Text

The End of the World

Ok here’s the IronWidow I promised you lol

Chapter 3: Comfort

Summary: “This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a……” or How I feel Endgame should have been written.

AO3

Pairing: Tony Stark x Natasha Romanoff

“Any news?” Natasha took a bite out of a PB&J sandwich. Her hair had grown longer in the past three years, and she now had it in a ponytail.

The older man sighed and shook his head. “There haven’t been any signs of his appearance since the last massacre.” Nat nodded, steeling herself.

“The Chinese Secret Societies?” She asked.

“No, the Italian Mafia,” he looked at her sympathetically. “Nat, if he doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be. You know that,” he said gently. “He’s got the same S.H.I.E.L.D. training as you.”

“I know,” she smiled at him sadly. “But I still have to try.”

The colonel nodded solemnly and reached to end the call.

“Rhodey,” she called out. He paused and looked at her. “Thanks for doing this.”

He just smiled at her and hung up, his image fading into pixels on the hologram projector. She let a small sob escape her lips as she fell back into her chair and brought her hands to her face. The Red Room had taught her how to eradicate any outer indication of emotion, but that never meant that she had none. It was a simple choice of hers whether to display the emotions or to hold them inside. But the Red Room had only prepared her for infiltration and interrogation and assassination and intimidation. Never would she have dreamt of being ready for death on such a large scale caused by beings from other planets, or superpowers that had only been true in fantasy.

“Still can’t find the little birdy?”

Nat’s head whipped around to find Tony leaning against the door frame of the hologram room. She shook her head, not trusting her voice.

“Oh Natalie,” he sighed, walking over to her while she snorted humourlessly at the name he used. “Come here.” He opened his arms to her.

Without a moment’s hesitation, she threw herself into his arms and wept, tears falling shamelessly and arms tight around his middle. The past three years had seen many of their hugs, and many of their tears. They had become each other’s confidant, helping each other to heal, even when the world seemed to have done so swimmingly.

“I need to find him, Tony,” Natasha whispered.

“I know, Nat,” he soothed, his warm hand rubbing circles on her back.

“He was there when I had nobody,” she continued. “He gave me a chance to have a new life, and without him, I never would have been a part of this team.” Her grip tightened on him. “This family.”

“We’ll find him,” Tony promised.

“I need to be there for him,” she cried again, heart aching as she thought about how he must have felt when he lost his wife, his children, and his entire world. And yet, a tiny part of her wondered if she actually wanted to find him. What could she do if they found the archer? She had nothing to offer him that could dampen his pain.

“We’ll be there for him,” Tony whispered once more, and Nat finally smiled as something clicked in her mind.

We. Us. Family.

Tony roared, the sound ripping through the entire cabin and breaking the blessed silence of the night. The door to Natasha’s room was flung open and the redhead shot out towards the source of the sound. She ignored the way her heart clenched at the pure sorrow that she heard in his voice. Yet when she ripped his door open, ready to rain down all the wrath and fire that heaven and hell could offer, his voice had reduced to a low wail, and her heart only dropped further. His hands were covering his face, but through the gaps of his fingers, she could see his frantic eyes darting around, as streams of tears leaked down his knuckles.

“Tony,” she whispered, inching forward cautiously.

He didn’t appear to register her voice, but his voice had died down to a soft whimper and an occasional sob. She continued to gently close the distance between them, hands held in plain sight as though she were approaching a wounded wolf. The nearer she got, the more she noticed his shaking body and hiccupped breath.

“Daddy?”

Immediately, Tony snapped out his stupor and looked to the door, where the silhouette of his beloved daughter stood. Natasha turned around as well, unsure whether she should usher the girl out the room or allow her to comfort her father.

“Hey baby,” the mechanic choked out with obvious effort. “What’s going on?”

“I heard yelling,” Morgan mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “’s everything ok?”

“Of course, Morguna,” her father smiled shakily as he trembled out of the bed and opened his arms invitingly. “Daddy just had a nightmare.”

Natasha sighed with a fond smile and ushered the sleepy girl forward. “Give your father a hug and go back to sleep.”

Morgan drowsily wrapped her arms around Tony’s neck and mumbled something incoherent. Nat noted his rattling hands calm a little as he took in a deep whiff of Morgan’s scent and his touch confirmed the reality of the situation. When they finally parted, she gave him a kiss on the cheek before stumbling blindly towards her bedroom. The master assassin followed her out as she gave Tony a look of concern.

“I’ll be back,” she assured him. “I’m just gonna put her to bed.”

Morgan had fallen asleep the minute her head touched the pillow, and Natasha couldn’t have been more grateful that she could hurry back to Tony’s side. She found him in the same spot she’d left him – at the foot of the bed, knees propped up and eyes staring into blank space.

She gingerly took her place next to him and placed her hand over his and waited.

“I was on Titan again,” he whispered after a very long few minutes. “And Peter was disintegrating in my arms. Again.”

Natasha gripped his hand even tighter.

“I couldn’t even preserve his ashes, Natasha,” he grunted. “Not a single one of his atoms.”

Still, Natasha said nothing. What could she say? Any word uttered would be a poor comfort to a broken heart. So instead, she stood up and pulled him into bed. He followed wordlessly, and she pulled up the quilt, before wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

“Hold on tight,” she breathed. “I won’t disappear.”

He didn’t reply, but his arms grew secure. When she woke up in the morning, he was still holding her.

“…and then I swear, she just caves!”

“Holy crap, Tones I hope you got that on video,” Rhodey laughed, his arms crossed in amusement.

“I wish I did,” Tony mused regretfully.

“What’re you talking about?”

The genius turned around to find Natasha walking into the hologram room.

“Oh nothing,” he teased. “Just how Morgan flashed her puppy eyes at you and you caved to her request for ice cream.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and stood next to him. “Your daughter is too cute for her own good, Stark.”

“She gets it from her dad,” he smiled before looking at the rest of the participants in the room. “Alright, now that the boss is here, we can begin.” Natasha swatted his arm while Steve laughed and Okeye smirked before beginning her update.

“Daddy! Can we have cheeseburgers?” Morgan bounced over to her father cheerily with a grin.

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” he smiled as he picked her up. “We have to ask Aunt Nat. She might want something else.”

“I love cheeseburgers!” she hummed.

“Me too,” he laughed. “So you need to ask her really nicely okay?”

“Okay!” she agreed. “Aunty Nat!” she called when they got into the house.

“Hello, my little munchkin,” Natasha smiled fondly. “What’s going on?”

“Can we have cheeseburgers?” she asked with a grin.

Natasha looked over at Tony’s knowing smile and decided to play. “Hmm I don’t know, sweetie,” she placed a finger on her lips. “I kinda wanted pasta today.”

“Do the eyes, Morguna,” Tony whispered excitedly. “Do the-” Nat’s hand shot out and slapped over his mouth. She didn’t need the little one to know how much power she held with those compelling eyes. Tony’s eyes narrowed while Morgan looked around, confused. Suddenly her hand felt a wet slick and Natasha yanked away with a yelp, a shiver shooting straight up from the base of her spine to her head.

“Oh my god, did you lick me?” she cried out incredulously.

“Did you not expect me to?” he sniffed. Morgan just chortled gleefully while clinging to her father.

Natasha just walked to the sink in disgust. “Ugh, fine, we can have cheeseburgers.” Morgan cheered in victory while Tony watched her, a smug smile on his face. When the father-daughter duo left to procure their dinner, Natasha wondered why she couldn’t stop thinking of his tongue on her hand.

“Can’t sleep?”

Morgan shook her head as she rubbed her eyes. Natasha just smiled and walked over to pick her up. The adults had been in the living room reading when the little angel had trudged down the stairs, looking frustrated.

“What’s wrong, love?” her father got up as well.

“inon’tknow”

Natasha laughed as she rocked the little girl in her arms. This little bundle of joy that brought her so much peace after so much devastation. “I have a great idea,” she thought out loud.

“Uh-oh,” Tony teased.

“Let’s build a blanket fort!” She suggested, locking eyes with Tony. His eyes widened a little before they filled with warm familiarity.

“And hot chocolate,” he finished with a smile.

“Exactly,” she answered, green eyes sparkling. Morgan giggled in agreement. She liked hot chocolate.

Twenty minutes later found the trio huddled underneath the cover of blankets, the only light coming from the lantern in the fort, and a mug of steaming drink in each of their hands. Tony and Nat, of course, had their additional secret ingredient, while they decided to give Morgan a little less sugar in hers. Nevertheless, she loved it.

“Did I ever tell you the time I met Uncle Steve?” Tony asked his daughter, who shook her head, a moustache of whipped cream decorating her upper lip. Natasha smiled by the side, reaching over to wipe it off. “Well I hated him.”

Morgan gasped in surprise. “Really?”

“Yep,” he confirmed, before continuing the story and putting a lighter spin to it – he didn’t need a traumatised five-year-old on his hands. By the time he was finished, their mugs were empty, and the child was asleep. He gently stroked her hair and gently placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Alright,” he groaned, climbing out of the tent and picking Morgan up. Natasha slid out as well, picking up the empty mugs and placing a kiss of her own on the girl’s head. She’d grown attached to the sight of Tony’s paternal affections and they must have rubbed off on her. “I’m gonna put the little miss here to bed. You go and get us some refills.” The redhead perked up with a nod, a hint of a smile forming at her lips as she bounded to the kitchen.

When he returned, she was already waiting for him, curled up under another (another??) blanket with renewed cups. She watched him climb in and join her with a chuckle. This blanket fort was smaller than the one they’d built in the tower, years back, but it was just as comfortable, and possibly even more cosy.

“She’s such an angel,” Natasha sighed contently.

“Yes, she is,” Tony hummed, taking a sip from his mug. His cheeks were starting to get a little pink, but to be fair they’d gone a little strong on the Irish Cream. To be further fairer, Natasha’s cheeks were kind of rosy too.

“You know, I found her grabbing cookies out of the jar and she said they were for you.”

Tony looked up in astonishment. “I never got any cookies,” he gasped, flabbergasted. “How could you let her lie to you like that?”

“Well,” the super-spy answered, finishing her mug. “She has her mother’s smile.”

“She does,” the Mechanic agreed softly, before turning to look at her. “But she has your kindness.”

“Me?” she snorted, rolling her eyes. “There’s so many things wrong with that statement.”

“Why?” Tony challenged, a spark in his eyes. “Because you’re not birth mother?”

“Well that,” Natasha huffed, suddenly exasperated. She didn’t want to have to spell it out for him, even if he was teasing her. “And I mean, ‘kindness’ is not exactly the word most would associate with the Black Widow.”

“That’s true,” he replied with a chuckle. “But I would associate it with ‘Natasha Romanoff’.”

She looked at him with a quirked eyebrow (there was that dangerous, dangerous eyebrow) and frowned. “Stop kidding,” she warned. She was getting a little upset by how irritating he was being. There was no need to dive into her can of worms.

“You are probably the kindest person I know,” Tony insisted, placing a hand on her wrist. “So kind that you don’t even know it.” She scoffed, but he insisted on continuing. “Who waited until the last possible second to close the wormhole just so that I had a chance of returning to this world?”

“Anyone would-”

“Who was the only one who could calm the hulk down?”

“That’s cuz-”

“Who immediately started relief work when she got back to New York? Who moved five states away to be by a lake just so I wouldn’t be lonely? Who organises meetings across the galaxy so that we’re still connected? Who helps me through my nightmares without a single complaint? Who spent the last three years looking for her best friend? Who still hasn’t given up?”

She finally shut up and broke eye contact, her fiery green eyes burning into the pillows they were lying on.

“Who took care of my daughter when I was stuck in space?” He whispered with a hint of pride, brushing his thumb against her cheek. She looked up at him, a small hint of defiance in her eyes, still unwilling to accept his praise. Was she hearing gratefulness? There was a warmth in his voice that made her suddenly nervous, and she bit her bottom lip. Nervousness was unfamiliar to the Black Widow. She’d sooner swallow the head of the source than allow herself to be seen as flustered. …not really a viable option here.

“Morgan is as much your daughter as she is mine,” Tony said finally. “You’ve raised her alongside me. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Her eyes started to sting as tears threatened to spill. Judging by Tony’s glistening eyes, so were his.

“Thank you.”

Natasha closed her eyes and breathed. “You don’t have to-” She froze when she felt his lips on her forehead. His lips, slightly chapped, lingered for a little, before he pulled back. The spot burned as her cheeks did, and her heart threatened to break through her ribcage. She stopped breathing. Why was this happening? Displays of affection were no stranger to her, and she was thoroughly trained in physical manipulation, so there was no reason for her to have such a strong reaction to a damned kiss on the forehead.

The only problem was that this wasn’t a physical action, it was one of the soul. She could feel his sincerity and emotions in that kiss, and the silent message: “you are part of my family…if you’d like.” Tony seemed to sense her shock and pulled back.

“Um…Nat?” He asked cautiously. “Are you-”

It was her turn to interrupt him. She reached out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him in as their lips crashed together. She heard him breathe in sharply in surprise, but when she persisted, he melted into her embrace and reciprocated, fingers gently reaching into her hair and tangling themselves into her hair. She groaned as her lips moved against his, the pool of nerves in her belly raging like a bag of beaten snakes, as if she were a teenager again. She barely registered the feeling of spilt hot chocolate on her thighs when she hooked a thigh around Tony’s hips and straddled his waist. His hands roamed the curve of her back while her hands desperately explored every inch of his torso, all the while, the sounds of breathy moans and shifting sheets filled the air.

“Tony,” she gasped when she finally pulled away. She was an absolute sight, her lips swollen, her chest heaving and her cheeks red for a reason other than the alcohol. “Tony,” she repeated.

“Nat,” he answered her, hair messy and panting just as hard, and she soaked in the view, her heart thundering in her ears while her hazy green eyes roamed over his panting chest, the glow of the housing unit from under his shirt, and his piercing eyes, before resting on that infuriating smirk that was still on his lips. Natasha bit her cheek – she had to kiss it away.

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ladywinterwitch · 5 years ago

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Run Away (One - At the beggining)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger! Reader

Summary: You and Steve complete each other. Your love is that strong and devoted kind of love that pushes people to things like marriage, making a family. You couldn't imagine that a baby would be something you really wished, until the possibility wasn't your choice anymore.

Warnings: mentions of sex, swearing, pregnancy talk, sadness, LIKE A LOT, badly written medical diagnosis, FLUFF, cheesy af, feels (im sorry this one's a little emotional k)

Word Count: 3316

A/n: I don’t know why this idea came to me, honestly. One day I just stopped and asked myself, why do actually people decide to have kids? At first I didn’t really understand, I always saw around that parents made a big deal of the idea of it. The whole pregnancy, having a baby to ‘show’ around and such without realizing that said baby will become an actual human being that you’ll have to educate. Which I still think is the case for some people, I’m not gonna lie. But then, thinking a bit more about it, seeing people really in love, and that want to spend the rest of their lives with each other wish to form a family because that’s something that they want to kind of experience and grow together. But honestly Idk, I mean, I don’t have any experience so I could be saying a lot of bullshit. Something that did inspire me tho is the song ‘Run away’ by Ben Platt, so being a little undecided on how to name this, I decided to pay tribute to this beautiful song. But still, I hope you’ll enjoy this. Also, making a multi-chapter series it’s a first for me, keep that in mind.

(gif not mine)

Steve will always remember the first time he saw you. You were a new recruit for the avengers team, you came from SHIELD and were one of the best, so Fury decided to add you to the heroes’ team.

You didn't need any superpower because you already were a force of nature of your own. Skilled in combat, a perfect spy, spoke eight languages, could aim a target and get the middle of it with closed eyes.

That day Steve was going to the gym with Bucky and when they arrived to the gym, they saw you. There you were. You wore a catsuit like Natasha's, all black and tight. Damn tight. Your fit but shapely body wrapped around that leather like it was made for it. And that's what Steve saw first, mainly because you two girls were moving in a sort of quick but graceful dance, shooting at simulation targets around the room.

And then all of a sudden you stopped, the simulation ending, and started to laugh. You gave Nat your guns and turned around. That's when Steve knew, he just knew that he was doomed. Your smile was the most beautiful thing that he'd ever seen. Your sharp but sweet features, your hair hair tied up in a ponytail with just a few strands of hair down in the corners of your angelic face.

When you saw them you stopped laughing, not having realized their presence, and smiled shyly. Steve was literally melting.

-Hey fellas. I'd like to introduce you to one of my best friends and best agents I know, Y/n. She's the new recruit sent by Fury.- Natasha came back without the guns while the two men edged closer.

-Hey there. Welcome to the team, i'm- - Bucky offered his hand, which you took gladly.

-Bucky Barnes, yeah not exactly a stranger.- you joked smiling, he returned the smile.

Steve was still looking at you, not realizing that it would've probably scared you off, but instead you offered your hand to him too, locking eyes.

-Y/n. I guess you must be Captain Rogers.- you teased with a smirk. He cleared his throat and shook your hand.

-Uh, yes. It's a pleasure Y/n.- he breathed out giving you a little smile.

-All mine.- you responded, he chocked on his spit widening his eyes for a moment. Bucky was trying not to burst out laughing for how awkward his best friends was being, meanwhile Nat was looking at him like he was an alien.

-P-pardon?- he coughed out. You frowned a little biting your lip to stop smiling.

-The pleasure to meet you, captain. All mine.- you explained.

-Yeah, obviously. Uhm, alright see you, uhm.. later I guess. Welcome, again. Oh, call me Steve, please.- he blurted scratching his neck with his hand. You smiled sweetly.

-Thank you, Steve.- his name rolled on your tongue so perfectly that made him think of a few different scenarios, but before he could embarass himself further he gave a slap on Bucky's back, making him jolt forward in surprise.

-What the f-- he looked at the blonde with confusion.

-C'mon Buck, we have to take take of that business.- he basically dragged him towards the door.

-What business?- he furruwed his eyebrows.

-Fury's goddamn business, now hurry the fuck up.- he smiled through gritted teeth and whispered the last part.

And like that they left the gym. The two girls looked at each other and bursted out laughing.

-They seem nice.- you commented, cossing your arms.

-They are. But i'm gonna be honest, i've never seen Steve so flustered before. You must have left him quite, interested.- she marked the last word. You looked at her confused and she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

-Oh, for god's sake, Nat. He just met me, and i'm really nothing special. He's fucking Captain America, c'mon.- you rolled your eyes. She rose an eyebrow.

-Okay, if you say so. But it's true, what I said before. Also, you're a bomb, so shut it.-

Yeah. You gave that day exactly a month before you found yourself pressed against the wall, with Steve’s lips on your neck and moans spilling from your mouth.

-I've wanted to do this since the moment I saw you in that goddamn suit in the gym.- he muttered in between kisses. You smiled, taking his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you.

-Well, i'm glad you finally took a stand, cap.- he groaned and kissed you feverishly.

You ended up spending the night together, and when in the morning you woke before him, you started to dress yourself up, but he grabbed your wrist gently, making you turn to look at him.

He was really a sight. Dirty blonde hair a mess, bright blue eyes still sleepy, mouth curled in a smirk and his features soft. And cherry on top, he was stark naked, the sheets covering just above his groin. It really took all your mental strenght to not jump on him right then and there.

-Hey handsome.- you said lowly before continuing to get dressed. You put on your nude lace bra and panties before slipping on the simple dress that you wore the evening before. Tony had organized a little get together, nothing too fancy luckly.

-Where are you going?- Steve said, getting up. He put his boxers on, walking close to you. You looked down.

-Back to my room?- you asked rethorically. Steve stayed silent for a couple of minutes. You looked up again and saw that he looked a little hurt.

-You regret...tonight?- he muttered and your heart sank.

-What?- you asked.

-Did...did I do something wrong?- you shook your head. You were kind of confused by his behaviour. He just wanted a one night stand right? Or that's what you thought.

-No!- you exclaimed quickly -No, no, why do you say that? I mean..you don't- you don't want me to go?- this time it was his turn to be confused.

-What? No! I..I mean if you regret it or just consider it a one time thing, then I'm never gonna talk about that again, but-

-Was it, for you?- you interrupted him. He looked at you.

-Not for me, no. But if you want we can forget ab- you interrupted him again, this time with a kiss. You latched your arms aroud his neck and he hugged your waist tight. You kissed for a few seconds and then parted to breathe.

-I take it as a no?- he smirked and you chuckled.

The team almost threw a party when you said that you were officially together a copule months after. They all saw the chemistry between the two of you, plus Bucky and Nat were finally free from both your rambling about the other. Months passed and you and Steve became closer and more in love every day, so exactly one year after, he proposed to you. Needless to say that you said yes.

After a few months from the wedding you had some things in your mind. You and Steve always used protection in the first six months of your relationship, but then you just stopped. At first it had been a silly and quite risky decision, but then you noticed that no problem had come up, so you didn't thought about it anymore.

But now, you were actually married, in love, and you both wanted children. You didn't actually decided to try, but it was in the air. And the fact that neither of you came up with the prevention stuff actually confirmed it.

So while doing a little reckoning you realized that it was a bit more than a year that you were having unprotected sex, and nothing happended. Sometimes all it takes is just one time to 'fuck up', but...you didn't knew what was bothering you. So one day you decided to ask Bruce for advice. He was a doctor after all.

So you did just that. You went to the labs’ floor in the avengers tower and asked Friday in which one he was.

-Doctor Banner is in the biology lab with mr. Stark right now, mrs. Rogers.-

-Thank you Friday.- you headed to the biology lab and knocked, then came in. The two men smiled at you.

-Hey Y/n. Friday informed me that you wanted to see me?- Bruce asked sweetly. You nodded, stepping closer. They were busy with some papers and Tony was handling some files in hologram form.

-Yes. Uhm, can we talk alone? Or maybe I can come back later if you want.- Tony closed the files with a swirl of his hand and shook his head.

-Don't worry sugar, it's nothing that can't wait. I'm gonna grab a coffe in the meantime. Banner?- he squeezed gently your shoulder before heading to the door. The doctor shook his head, removing his glasses.

-I'm okay.- Tony nodded and closed the door after him. Bruce invited you to sit on a stool near him. You did and then took a deep breath. He was waiting, and also a little worried from the look you had on your face.

-Okay, first of all, I know that it's not your field and I actually came to you for medical advice so, uhm..if you're not comfortable- you started to ramble a bit, and that's when he placed his hand on yours. You looked up at him.

-Y/n, I am a doctor, but first, I'm your friend. Also, in the last years I dealt with many things that weren't exactly in my field, so there's a little left to surprise me.- he gave you a lopsided smile.

You bit your lip nervously. You weren't this shy and awkward usually, quite the opposite actually. You trusted Bruce with your life, but speaking with him about your sex life wasn't really on top of the list. Also you wore a sort of armor made of irony and cold minded decisions, but the truth is that when things came to a more personal level it made you uncomfortable. That's why you were going to leave Steve after your first night together in the first place. To try and protect yourself before others made you.

-Okay. Uhm.- you swallowed hard before talking. -I'm starting to wonder if there's, you know, something wrong with me.- he frowned.

-A little more specific, please.-

-I'm starting to think that I'm infertile.- you said just above to a whisper. Bruce remained quite surprised. He didn't really know what to expect, but he didn't expect that. His features softened and he concentrated, trying to remeber the few lessons that he attended in college.

-Oh. Okay, first of all, how are things between you and Steve?- he asked, knowing that you would understand what he meant.

-We are fine. We were using uhm.. condoms until a few months before the wedding, but since then we stopped. I made a few countings and it's a bit over than a year, circa.- he nodded, narrowing his eyes a little, thinking.

-Okay. And nothing happened? Like a false alarm, symptoms of some kind? Your periods are regualr?- you shook your head.

-No, nothing happened, and that's actually the reason that I'm here. And no, I'm quite regualr, I suffer a lot the first cuple of days, but that's normal.- you shrugged. He nodded again.

-But, are you two actually trying to have a baby? Or it's just a doubt of yours?-

-Well, we did talk about kids a long time ago, and it's kinda why we stopped taking precautions, but no, we are not organized or nothing.-

-But you want to.- he says, more like a statement than a question. You bite your lip, realizing that you might cry.

-Yes.- you confess.

-Okay, listen Y/n. You're right, it's not exactly my field, but I can ask to a trusted person that I know for advice. I know already that we'll have to do at least a couple of ecographies, and It must be while you have your period.-

-It should arrive in a few days actually, next week maximum.- you say, looking at your hands in your lap. You were already feeling a little pain in your lower belly and you were hungry all the time, so it was quite certain.

-Alright. I'm gonna make a call, and then I'll tell you what we have to do.- you nod and raise from the stool.

-Thank you, Bruce.- you smiled a little, trying to hide your worry.

-Of course. If I can ask, does Steve know?- you feared that he would ask, but you shook your head anyways.

-No. I want to know first. It may be just a preoccupation of mine and I wouldn't want to upset him. Also, please, this stays between us.-

-Don't worry, this is safe with me.-

Bruce asked you to come in the infirmary five days after your conversation. You were in the first couple of days of your period, like he asked. You came down from your room to the lab and Friday let you in.

-Hi.- you saluted Bruce that turned from the ecography machine and smiled.

-Hey sweetheart. You okay?-

-Yeah, just feeling a little shitty. Usual pain.- you shrug.

-I'm sorry.- he said softly -Please open your hoodie, raise your shirt and unbutton your pants.- he asks calmly. You do as he says while he puts on latex gloves. You hop on the medical couch and wait, hands resting on your chest.

-Okay. So, I spoke to this old colleague which is a gynecologist. She told me that, like I said, we have do to two ecographies. The first at the beggining of the period, and the second at the end. Then I will send her the results, and if there's something else to do, we will. Or it may be that everything's fine and it will end there. At that point you should talk to Steve about an ovulation schedule, that doesn't sound romantic at all- he chuckled a bit -But it could help.- he explained. You nodded, silently.

-For now let's stick to this. Sorry, the gel's a little cold.- you didn't really felt it when he applied it though. A trained spy sure isn’t scared off by some sold gelatine. He started to examin your lower belly, remaining silent. A few minutes later he cleaned the tool and put in his place.

-Here are some paper towels, clean up and you can dress up.- he palced his hand on your shoulder for a second. He had a calming effect, and you couldn't be more greatful for it.

You cleaned yourself from the gel and stood to button up your pants. He was writing something on the laptop, but then he directed to you his attention.

-You okay?- you nodded.

-Good. Well, that's it. We'll have another in...four days?- you responded with an okay, thanked him and went out.

While you were going towards the kitchen, you heard a few laughs and considered to turn your heels, not in the mood, but a voice stopped you.

-Hey doll, how you doin'?- Bucky jogged towards you smiling. He always called you that, for affection and also to piss Steve off, but you didn't mind at all. You loved Bucky. You became fast friends in the moment you arrived. That's why as soon as he was less than a few feet away you started to cry. His smile dropped and his brows knitted in worry. He came to you and enclosed you in his arms. You face on his chest, sobbing.

-What happened? Sshh, honey. C'mon, let's go somewhere a little private.- He looked around and you both stepped in the elevator and he pressed the button for the private rooms floor.

You arrived and he lead you to your and Steve's shared room, you press your hand on the handle and it opens automatically, thanks to your fingerprints.

Bucky closes the door and you sit on the bed. You hold out a hand for him and he takes it. You both lay down on the bed while he hugs you.

-What's wrong honey? Uh?- he asks softly. Someone could say that it's not that normal for you to stay that close to him, being married to another man, but it wasn't the case. You considered Bucky like a big brother-best friend, he cared too much about Steve and you to even do something bad. He even cried like a baby the day of your wedding. You all teased him for months for it and he just said that pollen was making him lacrimate. But he actually told you that he was happy, and that no one more than you two deserved to be happy.

-I'm just a little stressed. Also, my belly fucking hurts. I need to cuddle but my husband's away on a mission. Again.- you sniffed, and snuggled closer to his chest, he tightened his grip a little.

-I'm sorry sweetheart.- he said. After a few seconds he tried to move, and your head snapped up.

-Where are you going?- he got out of the bed.

-I'm just going down to grab a few things, It'll be a minute.- he kissed your forhead and headed out.

You took a deep breath and took off your shoes, changing in your sweatpants and Steve’s sweater. Then you procedeed to take off your bra, ‘cause your boobs hurt like hell. You played a little with your phone, upset that you couldn't call Steve.

The rule on mission was that the one away should always call first, that means they have time to talk. He had been away for two days and it was expected to return in three days along with Nat, Tony, Wanda, Thor and Sam.

You just needed to cry. You've never been one of those cry babies, it came to you just when you were really really upset and angry. And now you just needed a break from all the thoughts in your head.

Bucky came back knocking a few minutes later. When you opened the door you saw his hands stuffed with things. He had brought choccolate, some water, latte, knowing that you prefer coffe over tea, a few aspirins and at least four or five movies. You smiled at him fondly and when he had finally put down all what he had brought, you jumped on him, hugging him tightly. He just chuckled and reciprocated the embrace.

You both go on the bed, surrounded by all the food that he brought, sipping your drinks. You had taken an aspirin right away, so now you were feeling a little better. You had decided to watch Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet, but you weren't really paying attention to it. It was one of your favourite movies, you could basically play it by memory line for line, but right now you realized that you had to talk to someone or you would explode.

So you told Bucky about all the stress, the fact that Steve was often away, not by his choice, on missions, and that you missed him terribly. With a little of courage you even told him about your doubts and the exams with Bruce. He looked a little taken back by the reveal, and said that Steve never mentioned anything about trying to have a baby, but he said that he would accompany you to the next ecography. That's because you didn't want to tell Steve, even if he said that you should because he would want to know, but he didn't push you.

He was really understanding and sensitive about it. He told you that no matter what there wouldn't have been nothing wrong with you, and that anyway there are other options to have a baby. You cried a little more until you fell asleep on his chest.

End of part one. How is this so far? What do you think will happen? Could it be interesting? Please let me know. Even tho I sure hope y’all are bc I already have some more parts ready, but it’s not finished yet.

Also, I’m REALLY trying not to write the reader too affectionate with Bucky, but it’s making me literally sweat. I just love him too much.

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sunflowerspecter · 5 years ago

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in the dark of space, d.d.💫

summary: sometimes, not even galaxies can keep soulmates apart

warnings: cursing, mentions of cancer and death, violence, some creeps kinda imply some rude stuff about din and the readers sexual life

pairing: din djarin x reader

words: 4794 (sorry? i don’t know if that’s long or short but it’s something)

part: 2/6

note: the response i got to the first chapter was so good! thank you 🥺!! i’m so SO sorry that this is so late! i just got caught up with school and this chapter was harder to write... the next chapter i got ideas for so i hope to have it up soon!! tea gets real next chapter 🤭

“When we get in, stay with me. Don’t talk to anyone, don’t look at anyone, don’t do or say anything,” the Mandalorian says to you, and you nod, thinking he’s just being overprotective. You hold the child a little tighter as you walk inside, and you look around. The place is crowded, filled with the oddest people… part of you thinks that you only find them odd because they’re from, you know, another planet, but you think that these must be odd, even by galactic standards.

“Ah, it’s you,” a voice says, and you turn to see a small woman holding out both of her hands in front of you.

“Mando,” you mutter, reaching to grasp his cape. He nods at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to remind you that he’s here, and he’s not going to let anything happen to you. He traveled across the galaxy to help you get home, goddamnit. Home, you begin to think. Could you even consider Earth home? After everything with your mother, and then everything at work, and losing your job, and being evicted. You didn’t even have a home, you just existed. You almost want to grab the Mandalorians arm and run back to the ship, and beg him to take you back to the village planet, beg them to let you stay with them, and just pretend that this is your home.

But you don’t. Because you can’t ask that of these people. Of the Mandalorian, or of the village people.

“Maz, good to see you,” the Mandalorian says, breaking you from your thoughts.

She looks up at him and squints, then smiles. “It’s been forever.”

“Yes.”

The woman rolls her eyes, then says, “Follow me.”

You sit at a small table towards the back of the room, and she waits for one of you to speak. The Mandalorian does.

“This is Y/n. Y/n, this is Maz.”

Maz smiles, nodding. “I know you.”

Your eyes widen and you say, “We’ve only just met, now.” You look over at the Mandalorian, who watches you silently, almost waiting for your reaction, as if he expected Maz to say this.

“Oh, I know. But I know why you’re here.” She pauses, then looks at the creature in your arms. She shrugs, then says, “You wish to return to your planet.”

You nod, and the Mandalorian leans forward, talking quietly. “Maz, have you ever been to her planet? Earth, you said, yeah?”

“Unfortunately, no. There is no way to return to that planet now that she’s been brought. Once a millenium do the doors between galaxies open and send through souls born separated.”

Your jaw drops, and the Mandalorian stiffens. “So I can’t go home?”

Maz squints her eyes at you. “That is not what I said.”

“You said she can’t return to her planet, Maz,” the Mandalorian says. Then, Maz stands, gesturing for you to follow her. Hesitantly, you both do. She leads you down a staircase and to a large and empty room.

“There are forces in the Universe that many do not understand,” she says, and the light drains from the room. You gasp, reaching for the Mandalorian, but you can’t find him. A bright white light appears in front of you and you gasp as it dances around your head. “There are forces in each section of the universe.” A large hologram of planets appears, and the light fills the space between them. Across the room, a red light surrounds a different group of planets. “Sometimes, a soul born to a force is in the wrong galaxy.” The planets disappear, leaving just the lights. A bit of white light appears in the red, and you move towards it, but as you do, the red violently attacks the white light. You gasp, stepping back at the sudden action. “These souls belong in the other galaxy, and the Universe will send them to find their force.”

You back away. “You mean I was born in the wrong galaxy? What exactly are these forces?”

The darkness seeps away and you turn and see the Mandalorian. You run to him, grabbing his cloak.

“Forces connect all of us, all living things. Sometimes, these forces bind souls together. You, my dear, are a bound soul. You’ve been brought here to to find them, to find your true home.”

You scoff. “So you’re saying I’m here to meet my soulmate?” You almost laugh at the idea. “That’s ridiculous, soulmates aren’t real.”

Maz shrugs. “Maybe not in your world.”

You groan, running your hands through your hair. “Fuck. Fuck!”

“There has to be a way she can get home. I’ll take her there myself, I just need to know where it is,” the Mandalorian says dryly, and Maz sighs.

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple. The galaxies… the forces won’t allow you to leave them, once you’ve found where your force is. You can’t leave.”

You think you’re going to pass out.

The Mandalorian senses this, apparently, because he grabs your arm to steady you.

“This is bad, this is so bad!” you yell. “I… I mean, it’s not like there’s anything waiting for me back on Earth, but I don’t have anywhere to go! What am I going to do?”

Maz is quiet, and the entire room is silent for a moment as you begin to pace, because you’re doomed.

“You… you could stay with me. I could always use an extra hand around this ship. Until you find somewhere more permanent, of course,” the Mandalorian says, and you look to him your mouth open, but no words coming out.

“I don’t want to intrude-”

“It’s no trouble, really.”

You nod. “Thank you.”

The Mandalorian nods at you.

You turn to Maz. You take a breath.“Thank you.” A pause. “For the information. It’s better to have bad news than to be without any knowledge whatsoever.” Maz smiles warmly at you, then walks you and the Mandalorian to the exit.

“Visit soon!” she calls, and you nod to her.

Once you’re outside, you begin walking towards where the Mandalorian landed the ship. The journey is silent, and you begin to think.

“I’m sorry,” you say to him. “If I’m ever too much just, tell me. You don’t have to keep me around, and I’d hate to make your life difficult.”

“Hey,” he says, stopping. “Don’t worry about it, okay? You aren’t going to make my life difficult. The past two weeks have been nice, I like your company.” He pauses, then says, “In fact, I would have been sad to see you go.” You smile, nodding, and he pats your shoulder as he walks ahead of you.

So, this is your life now. Living with a strange man and a baby, in a spaceship. You try not to think about how bad that is for your body, but then again, in this galaxy, space travel is normal, so the ships probably account for that. The air on every planet he’s brought you to has been breathable, at least.

You hear a crack in the woods behind you and jump, and the Mandalorian pushes you behind him.

A shot nearly misses your head and the Mandalorian pushes the child into your arms, saying, “Run!”

You push off, running as fast as you can towards the ship. The Mandalorian is quick on your heel, firing a few shots off into the distance. As soon as you’re in the ship, he’s taking off. You sit in the seat next to him, holding the child tightly in your arms.

You close your eyes when the ship rattles and you realize you’re being shot at. In space.

On one hand, you’re about to die. On the other hand, if little you saw you right now, god, she’d be so excited. You’re in space! On an adventure!

You try to remind yourself that that’s all this is. Just a little adventure.

The ship gets quiet, and the Mandalorian puts his hand on your shoulder.

“Are you alright?” he asks softly, and you nod.

“Just shaken up, I guess.”

He stays quiet for a moment, watching you, before he says, “Maybe you should go back to Sorgan. With Cara, and stay in that village.”

You freeze, unsure as to why he would suggest that, but then you realize he’s probably trying to get rid of you, politely. “Oh. I mean, if you think that’s best,” you say.

He sighs. “Life on the run, life out doing… what I do. It isn’t great. But if you’re okay with that, then please, stay here. I could use your help. But if you want out, tell me.”

You pause. Do you want out? You trust the Mandalorian, and you aren’t sure why. Besides, even if you do settle down… you want to see that galaxy. If you’re in space, you might as well make the best of it.

“I’m staying.”

~~~oOo~~~

“Oh, my god,” you mutter as the city comes into view. Coruscant, is what the Mandalorian called the planet. The city… skyscrapers, flying cars… it was every futuristic movie ever, but… more unreal.

“We might be able to blend in more here, and the comm system on the ship is down. We need credits, so I’m going to see if I can get a job,” he says. When you land, you’re ever so anxious to get off the ship. You bounce on your toes by the ramp, waiting for the Mandalorian to set you free.

“Put this on,” he says, passing you a cloak. You nod, remembering that, although the bag that was with you had some clothes in it, but you’ll look like an alien if you wear Earth clothes. Well, technically, you’re surrounded by aliens… but still. He passes you the child and you put him on your hip, holding him firmly but gently.

Once you’re in the city, you think you’re going to melt. Every nerve in your body is buzzing, energy moving through you with every step you take. It’s almost like being high, but it’s just the people, the city, the movement… you almost want to squeal.

“I’m guessing there aren’t cities like this where you’re from?” the Mandalorian asks you, and you shake your head.

“No. I mean, on Earth there are big cities. Skyscrapers, bridges, ferris wheels, the like, but there’s nothing quite so… colorful.” You sigh, continuing to glance around. “We don’t have flying cars.”

He pulls you into a building, and you almost gasp at the architecture. You ignore what he says to a man at a desk, and stare at the art on the walls as he pulls you up a set of stairs.

“You good?” he asks. You nod.

“Where are we going?” you ask him.

The Mandalorian laughs quietly. “You don’t have hotels on Earth?”

You frown, letting out a soft, “Oh.”

“I’m sure you’re tired.”

Out of nowhere, you yawn, and you suddenly feel the ache in your joints. “Now that you mention it, yeah.”

He laughs again, stopping and opening a door. He lets you in first, looking around the hallway before shutting and locking it behind him. You set the child on the ground and drop your bag onto a chair.

“So, you never did tell me your story,” you say, sitting on the floor by the large window that gave you an excellent view of the city.

“Yes I did,” the Mandalorian says. You shake your head, giggling.

“No, silly. I know that you’re a Mandalorian, and that you don’t take your armor off in front of other lifeforms, and that you’re on the run, but I don’t know about you, or your family.”

He sighs. “Well, the Mandalorians are my family. They found me as a child and raised me as their own.”

“You’re an orphan?”

He doesn’t say anything, but sits beside you on the ground. The child crawls into your lap, and he falls asleep almost instantly.

“Do you remember your parents?” you ask slowly.

He nods, slightly. After a time, he says, “Yes.” It comes out broken, and you place a hand on his shoulder, above the armor. It’s cool to the touch.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

He shakes his head, hyper-aware of the fact that you’re touching him. “No, you aren’t. It’s not your fault. I… I remember my mother, and my father. After they… after they died, the Mandalorians saved me.”

You’re silent for a second. “How did they die?” you ask, almost whispering.

“Droids attacked our village,” he replies. Your hand finds the gap between the pieces of armor on his arms, and you leave it there, remembering hearing something about physical contact being beneficial to sad people.

“I’m sorry,” you say to him.

“It was a long time ago,” he says.

“That doesn’t make it easier.”

He looks to you expectantly, waiting for you to continue. You flush, looking away from him and pulling away your hand.

“What do you mean?” he asks. Then, “What about your family? You said you didn’t have any, that they won’t be waiting for you on Earth.”

You shrug. “I don’t. I mean, of course I had family. My mom, well she had me when she was a teenager, I guess. Never knew my dad, and mom hated me. She was a good student, before she met my father, I guess. Then she started sneaking out, and I guess things got carried away because then there was me. She took out a lot of her anger at my father on me. Anger for getting her pregnant, then abandoning us, you know. She raised me, and I’m alive, so that’s good, I guess.”

He’s silent, then he puts his hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he says.

You huff, saying, “It was a long time ago.”

He laughs, and you smile a little, setting your head against his shoulder, and the armor isn’t as uncomfortable as you would think. He slips his arm around you loosely, and you kind of laugh at the fact that, over the past two weeks, you’ve already formed a sort of makeshift family.

You let your mind wander to what Maz said. Soulmates don’t exist, you try to remind yourself. But what if they do? Are you supposed to find yours? You’d have to search the entire galaxy for that… is it worth it? You decide it’s not, and you also decide that you very much need sleep.

“I’m going to comm my friend, you should sleep,” he says, and you sit up straight, nodding.

“Okay,” you say, watching as he walks off. When he’s gone, you lie, facing the window, on the ground, holding the child in your arms. Sleep catches you quickly, and by surprise.

~~~oOo~~~

You open your eyes and find yourself in a field of flowers. The sun’s setting, and the sky is red, and in the distance you see a man walking towards you. You gasp, standing too quickly, and nearly fall over.

You don’t recognize the man, but before he gets closer, he disappears, and you’re back in the hotel room, facing the window, but now there’s a blanket thrown over you and the child is pulling at your hair. You shake your head, trying to forget the strange dream.

“Hi, little one,” you say, sitting up and holding him up.

“I think I got a job,” the Mandalorian says behind you, and you jump, turning toward him. “We’ll spend the next few days here then head off there.”

You nod. “Okay.” You pause, then, “Am I going to be an inconvenience?”

He shakes his head immediately. “It’ll be fine.” You nod, still unsure, but then he says, “Walk with me?”

You smile, picking yourself up off the ground and setting down the child, who trails behind you slowly as you cross the room.

“Stay here,” the Mandalorian says firmly to the child. He picks him up and sets him in a seemingly makeshift bed, and the child, despite having slept with you for however many hours, goes right to bed.

You follow the Mandalorian out of the building and into the busy streets. He pulls you along until you’re out of the crowd and following a sort of trail.

“Where are we going? How’d we get out of the city so quickly?” you muse, and he just laughs softly.

“I know this city like the back of my hand. Had a bounty go really wrong once,” he says, almost laughing at the memory. “And, you’ll see.”

You grin, and the Mandalorian pulls you off the path and into a wooded area. Before you, there’s a pond, surrounded and hidden by the trees. The water is practically silver, and it sparkles, and flowers of every color grow around it. You almost expect to see fairies.

“Oh, my god,” you whisper, smiling. “This is so pretty! It’s something right out of a fantasy novel,” you say, looking back at the Mandalorian. You’re sure he’s smiling. You can’t see his face, but you can imagine him smiling.

“I figured you’d like it,” he says. Then, above the trees, you start to see a little glimmer of light, and realize the planet’s sun must be rising. There’s a large rock near the pond, so you take a seat, patting the spot next to you and waiting for the Mandalorian to join you. He does, and it’s quiet as the sun rises.

~~~oOo~~~

“I thought you said he was your friend, these people don’t seem like your friends,” you say.

“It… it’s complicated,” he says. You cross your arms, looking to the table where the crew was gathered, waiting for you to let Mando get back to them.

“Complicated? Is that why you tried to hide me?” you say, venom laced in your tone. You did not like these people, nor the looks they were giving you. The woman looked like she wanted to eat you alive.

“Look, you’re just going to have to trust me, okay?” he asks, and you sigh, nodding slightly, looking at the ground.

The group discusses their plan, and the entire time, you have an uneasy feeling in your stomach. Maybe it’s the way the woman glares at you, or the way the human man says Mando’s name with such venom, but you know that they’re bad news. You begin to spiral, realizing that these are the people Mando associates with. He doesn’t particularly seem to like them, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t more people like them that you’ll have to meet. The high you felt just a few days ago in the city fade, and you realize this is what your life will more likely be.

As a little kid, you wanted to be an astronaut. You weren’t so well off, growing up, and the idea of being able to escape the world that was so cruel to you was wonderful. And you suppose, now, that after the initial shock, that’s where your mind went. You were here and you could be free, but now the fear’s setting in. This is not what your life was supposed to be, not at all.

“Hey, you good?” Mando whispers softly to you, pulling you from the group. You nod, and he says, “Okay. You’ll stay here while we go, okay?”

Your eyes widen and you shake your head wildly. “No, wait, you can’t leave me here! I’ll stay in the back of the ship, I’ll be out of the way, I promise!”

“Hey, calm down,” he says, putting his hand on your shoulder. “It’ll be okay, I won’t be away long.”

“Please, Mando,” you whisper, and he just sighs.

“It’s too dangerous to take you with.” After a beat, he sighs, looking away from you. “It’s probably equally dangerous to leave you here. Just, please promise me you’ll stay away from the others,” he whispers. You nod.

“I’ll stay out of your way, I promise.”

“No,” he says, “it’s not about you staying out of the way. These people… are cruel and dangerous, and I want you to stay safe.”

“Oh.”

He walks away, patting your shoulder, and you bound after him and onto the ship, crossing your arms. You sit in the cockpit with him while the droid takes off, and you wonder why he doesn’t trust it. You elect to ask him about it later. He watches the droid so intensely, and you sigh. The droid tells him and you to go join the others, and Mando does. You wonder if you should go and follow him, and after a moment, you do. You regret it of course, because they’re all fighting.

“So, Mando,” the purple woman snarls, her eyes locked on you, “tell me about the girl.” She steps towards you, and Mando steps in front of you.

“She seems far off,” the man that looks like a devil says.

“What is she wearing?” the woman says, grabbing your arm.

You pull away and the Mandalorian yells, “Enough!” The room falls silent, but the human man laughs.

“Wow, imagine that. Our Mandalorian friend here has a girlfriend. Mind telling us how that works?”

The purple woman tilts her head at Mando’s lack of words, then says, “How do you figure that?”

Rolling his eyes like it’s obvious, he says, “You’ve never been in love, but if you had, you would’ve noticed by now that he’s different around her.”

You don’t like the way they talk about you and Mando like you aren’t in the room, but you stay silent.

The woman pouts, crossing to the man. “And how would you know a damn thing about being in love?” Every movement she makes makes you cringe.

“I know things,” he says, leaning back in his seat. He’s the only one sitting, and when the ship turns quickly, just for a moment, you wish you were sitting to. You would go flying across the room if Mando didn’t grab you by the waist and hold you against him.

“I agree, though,” the woman says, then. “He’s clearly changed,” she muses, tilting her head, stepping up to him, pressing herself flush against him. Mando stands rigidly and doesn’t look at her, but doesn’t move.

You try not to react, you do. Because you aren’t his girlfriend. You’ve only known him a month, maybe two, goddamnit. The only reason you’re with him is because he’s nice and offered you a place to stay. Well, and maybe you would like him, under different circumstances. But you don’t have any time for crushes. Not at the moment.

“Xi’an, stop throwing yourself at him,” the devil-looking one says. She turns to him, them, strutting over. You grasp onto the Mandalorian’s cloak, and he rubs your arm, sensing that you’re very uncomfortable.

Things calm down, slightly, and the woman begins to ask less mean questions, like what planet you were from and how long you’ve been with the Mandalorian. That is, until the child is discovered.

“What the fuck is that thing? A pet?” the human asks. You try to take it from him, and he laughs. “You two couldn’t possibly have made this, could you?”

You wince and Mando tenses, but neither of you say anything, which just leads him to laugh harder. Xi’an hisses, crossing her arms, and you take the baby from the man.

“Back off,” you say, and it’s the first time they’ve heard you speak, and they’re all shocked.

“So it is yours? Is that why you keep her around, Mando, eh? Feel bad for impregnating this pretty young thing?” the man says, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You jerk back, into the Mandalorian, and he says, “It’s not ours. It’s best not to interfere in matters that are so beyond you.”

He doesn’t have time to respond, because the droid is alerting the group that you’re there.

“This won’t talk long, I promise. I’m really sorry about all this,” Mando says, and you nod.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” He hands the child off to you, and you take it. They all head off, and you sit in the corner and set the child on the floor, pulling your knees to your chest, trying not to cry.

~~~oOo~~~

“Where are the others?” you say. Mando shakes his head, and a purple man like Xi’an joins him.

“Ah, Mando, picked up this pretty young thing, have we?” the man says. “And I thought you were with my sister.” He laughs, then, and you shudder. You don’t get back to the base fast enough. You waste no time getting out of there. When the place gets blown up, you feel no sympathy for them.

“Those people are toxic,” you say harshly, sitting beside the Mandalorian in the cockpit. “I can’t believe they used to be your friends.”

Mando just shrugs.

“Were you truly with that woman? Xi’an?” you ask, and you don’t receive an answer. Not for a time, anyway.

It’s a forever of silence. “No. We were never… together.”

You nod. “Not that I care.” It comes out colder than you mean it to, and you wonder why it’s not true. Why do you care?

The Mandalorian lands on a small forest planet. “We’ll stay here for a few days to rest and recharge.”

You somehow find yourself laying on the roof of the ship, staring at the stars. The sky is a deep dark blue and the stars are so bright, and you can see the whole galaxy, you think. You pull your phone out of your pocket. You found a way to connect it to the ship so that you could charge it, and you would be forever grateful for that. You go through your music and discover a song that Jane, your old best friend, had always made your listen to. You play it, closing your eyes as you hear the familiar lyrics.

Mando finds himself beside you, listening to the song you play.

“What is this?” he asks.

“Starman. David Bowie,” you say, sort of laughing at the irony, because the man beside you is a starman. “This was Jane’s favorite song.”

He’s quiet, just his breathing. “What happened to her? Why isn’t she waiting back on your planet?”

You sigh. “She died. When we were teens. Cancer, or something.”

“Oh.” A beat. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

You sit in silence with him for awhile, before you say, “Have you ever been in love?”

He takes a shaky breath. “There are so many times that I’ve been in long term living conditions with someone, and so many times that I could have sworn I was in love. But, if I’m honest, I don’t know. I don’t know if I can say I’ve been in love.”

You nod, reaching to his hand and threading your fingers through his.

“Have you? Been in love, that is.”

You laugh, looking over to him. “Have I been in love?” You sigh, looking back to the sky. “Sure, I guess. As a child I never felt connected to anyone besides Jane. She was the only human I ever felt connected to until she died. I loved her. Not in the way we’re talking, but I did. After that, I didn’t love anyone. Then, after college, I swore I was in love with the postman at work. He was young and beautiful and so sweet.”

Mando huffs a laugh. “And were you?”

“No,” you say thoughtfully. “I was in love with the idea of him. So, actually, no. I’ve never been in love.”

He hums, nodding. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”

You smile, shrugging. “Yes. Have you?” He laughs, and you roll your eyes. “There are ways. Ever heard of a blindfold?”

“No, I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“Favorite color?”

He’s damn glad you can’t see his face, because the smile on his face is unreal.

“I like that green blue color that the water is on some planets.”

You giggle, turning onto your side to face him, resting on your elbow. “I love that for you.”

He laughs, turning his head to face see you. “What’s yours?”

You spend the rest of the night asking each other questions, diving into each other’s lives, and somehow, it’s like you’ve known him forever. No question was too personal or shallow, and nothing was off limits. You only leave the roof when you hear the child moving around inside, and you feel a sense of security with Mando. It’s strange but… you like it. You like him, you like being with him.

You don’t want to say that you’ve fallen for this starman… but maybe you have. And, although you don’t know it, maybe this starman has fallen for you.

tag list (sorry if i tag anyone who doesn’t wanna be tagged and also sorry that i forgot i had one for the first part, so if i tag you and you haven’t read that part.... you should go check it out. jk.... unless...?):

@marvels-blue-phoenix @simonsbluee @javert-delacour @loilko @jelly-snow-stark @mutantsandproud @ugly-wall-flower @taman-a

#the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #din djarin #star wars #star wars x reader #reader insert

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asgardianthot · 5 years ago

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Flesh And Bones - part 2

Sam x Bucky Soulmate AU

Series Masterlist

In a world where people bond with their soulmates through physical pain, living in the same compound makes the search much easier (or it should, if they weren’t so damn stubborn)

words: 1539

Bucky covered his torso with a jacket before leaving. He was always all covered. It was too hot outside for his current attire, but he didn’t want to take the gloves off.

He didn’t want people to recognize his identity either. He had gone online more than once to google himself, see what people thought; some viewed him as a reformed criminal who deserved forgiveness, some as a victim of Hydra, some didn’t forgive at all. They talked about him as an example of the re-vindication initiative, the whole ‘giving bad guys a second chance’ deal; he was the posterboy for it, apparently. He knew he didn’t feel like a criminal, not deep in his soul, but it was hard to remember you were a casualty in the hands of your puppetmasters and not a formerly evil assassin when the world kept calling you that.

Walking down the busy upper New York street, he avoided people’s gaze as he headed to the donut place. He’d set his mind on something sweet and figured he might as well get some for Steve or Wanda too.

When all of a sudden, an odd feeling on his hipbone hit him in one wave, like he’d hit himself with the metal hand on accident -it happened sometimes- but it was his right hip, and therefore, out of the metal’s reach. The minimal pain got a lot bigger too fast, shockingly enough to stop in the middle of the sideway, between a crowd of people, and it wasn’t that bad, but definitely bad enough to bruise. It felt, specifically, like he hit himself on a door handle.

A shot of hot panic rushed through his veins and muscles. It felt… like someone else’s pain. Before he could touch the particular spot on his hipbone, the pain faded away, just at the right moment it would, had he hit himself with a door handle and massaged it soothingly, probably cursing at himself for being clumsy.

The most terrifying part was having those specific thoughts. It made perfect sense to imagine someone else’s actions and movements through the fantasy pain, almost as if…

“Shit.” He mumbled, eyes wide.

He speed-walked back to the tower, able to notice the passersby looking at him. Recognizing him. During his panicking escapade, he reflected on the idea that maybe he should have a car; almost everyone else on the team did. Steve was the only moron who drove a motorcycle around in broad daylight with nothing but a baseball hat to ‘conceal his identity’. Well, him and Bucky.

Once inside, he rushed to get his glove off and press his thumb on the elevator scanning device. It felt like ages until the door finally opened, the whole time keeping his eyes shut tight in an attempt to ease himself, just wanting to lock himself in his room for a full day; yet when he sprinted out of the elevator, his body collided with someone else’s.

“Hey, where are you rushing?” Wanda laughed awkwardly after the impact.

Barnes looked around, confused as to his surroundings, and noticed he had merely jumped out to the wrong floor and there were still two stories left until he could reach his room, the button with his number still a bright yellow.

“Nowhere.” He walked back to the elevator, swallowing hard, “Sorry.”

Wanda frowned but offered him an amused smile as she pressed the button corresponding to the conference room.

“Well, walk with me.” She offered, “Stark called for a meeting.”

“I wasn’t paged.” Bucky protested.

Not being paged on the emergency [[beeper]] meant it wasn’t, in fact, an emergency and therefore, had he gone through with his initial plan and walked into that donut place, he would have missed the meeting and it wouldn’t have mattered. Which was all the more reason to want to skip it and head directly towards his bed where he could process what had happened outside.

Wanda rolled her eyes, still amused, “Do you ever work? Let’s go.”

Sitting on the large conference table, Bucky couldn’t focus on whatever the convention of superheroes were rambling on about. He felt bad for a second, over his lack of enthusiasm, and for thinking of the discussion as plain rambling, considering how avenging missions usually had a taste of life or death. He was also probably the most grateful individual of them all when it came to appreciating his spot in the team; they –technically, Stark– gave him a nice place at the tower, privacy, leisure zones, the possibility of a home cooked meal, all the fight gadgets he could ask for –not that he actually did ask for any– and most importantly, a purpose. Being a recognized Avenger provided him with re-vindication, stability, or at least as such stability as Bucky Barnes could ever have, and that alone made him feel incredibly bad about not paying attention to the meeting.

There were three factor that could have been keeping him out: first of all, he knew this wasn’t an emergency, it had been stated and if it were, he would have gotten called personally, which indicated he was merely lending an ear. Second, the way the situation was discussed wasn’t much too professional; it sounded like a battle of egos was going down at the meeting table, their superhero personas oozing off of their skin like they had something to prove. All in lighthearted comedy, but still, Bucky seemed to be the only one not about that hero life. That’s what Sam swore too, and both of them had seen forehand what a true war tainted with flags could do to a so-called-hero, but when it came to flaunting their egos, Sam loved it. Bucky rather… shrunk.

The third possible reason: he had just felt a soulmate bond on his hip. His own skin. James Buchanan Barnes, yoked to another human being. It was terrifying, and way above anything the team was discussing on his priority list. The third reason it was.

“The pickup’s at eleven pm.” Steve repeated some piece of information somebody, apparently, had glossed over.

Meanwhile, Barnes continued trying to figure out why the thing hurt so bad and so immediately. Wasn’t there supposed to be some sort of tingle at first? Like a distant feeling? Why did it feel like he was being violently snapped into the reality of his situation?

As he wandered around that thought, he considered that his soulmate -his brain was loathing the word- might have been too close. Too close on the street? Did he bump into someone? He didn’t think so, keeping in mind how careful he was to not get in people’s way. Of course, there could be the option of the person being someone from the tower. As in, someone from the team. Yet, who could possibly match with him?

Who, in that room of complex yet confident creatures could be a good pair according to the bloody dictatorial universe?

His eyes darted to the person sitting next to him. Natasha. They did have a shared history, they could have similar souls… Bucky shook the idea of actually taking the whole 'soul footprint’ bullshit seriously. And as though Romanoff was a logical assumption, he didn’t quite feel anything. It didn’t sit right, but then again, his soulmate could be right there and he wouldn’t even know.

He then focused on Steve. It made sense. They were best friends since forever, they had an unparalleled bond. But it wasn’t right. Somehow, his chest didn’t heave, his skin didn’t crawl, nothing happened. It just felt like it wasn’t Rogers.

He continued his search through zoned-out eyes. Tony was standing in front of a hologram screen acting like the professor and mocking Rhodey about whatever he might have found funny. He didn’t live in the tower, but he was there. However, before he could even start overthinking how messed up would the universe be if it were to join them, Bucky soon remembered Tony already had a soulmate, and he was very open about it, to the extents of annoying everyone around him, and it was Pepper.

“Barnes, you with us?” Natasha snapped him back from his deep thoughts.

“Yeah.” He shook his head, “Sorry.”

Steve had a mildly concerned gaze locked towards Barnes, but the latter ignored it, therefore so did Steve. The blonde continued with his partially amused lecture regarding the mission details.

“Like I said, only one person goes in the perimeter.” He repeated himself as if he were teaching toddlers, “One person in, one out, backup stays outside of the radio.”

“It’s Rhodey’s turn to backup.” Stark mocked, some lame inside joke evident in their faces, “No hero protagonism for him.”

Steve appeared to be growing tired, but he managed to still find the childish exchanges rather amusing.

“Should be an easy in.” The Captain insisted with his tone, later raising his eyebrows and laying back on his chair, “I’d do it myself, but I thought you guys wanted to work for a living.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “You just wanna be lazy, ’s all.” He barked with a smirk, “I’ll do it. Piece of cake.”

“You’ll be in and out in a jiff.” Tony nodded.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sam x bucky #sam/bucky #the falcon and the winter soldier #ftws #marvel fanfiction #soulmate au #angst #fluff #sambucky fanfiction #avengers fanfiction

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shiningso1o · 4 years ago

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Reborn § Cal Kestis x Reader [3]

Summary: You are a Bounty Hunter, tasked with catching Cal Kestis for your boss, Sorc Tormo. However, plans change, and it's up to you and Cal to fight alongside one another. On a quest to find the sacred Jedi texts, you and the Mantis crew run into trouble—trouble by the name of the Empire.

Warnings: Mild violence, mild threat, injury

Cal's head throbbed, more so than it had ever done before. Every part of it ached, and the pain only increased as he rolled to his side. He groaned and lifted a hand up to place on his forehead.

His eyes were still shut, but he could tell where he was. He was laying on a sturdy rock floor, some of which was digging relentlessly into his back. The air around him was thick and musty, almost suffocating him. He remembered what had happened earlier that day, when that person easily beat and captured him. Based on his last encounter with a Bounty Hunter, he assumed that he had been imprisoned once again.

Cal's eyes fluttered open, and what he saw confirmed his suspicions. The Bounty Hunter from before crouched beside him, staring down from above. Their mask and goggles were off, revealing their face.

"Morning," you said. Cal immediately reached for his weapon, but found nothing. "Looking for this?" You reached towards your belt and, from it, retrieved Cal's lightsaber. Cal hesitated, then grabbed at his lightsaber, but missed. To this, you used your other hand to take out a blaster pistol and pressed the tip of it to his forehead. "Don't try anything, Jedi."

Cal exhaled. "Are you gonna kill me? Or force me to fight other helpless creatures?"

"That's not up to me."

"Then who?"

"My boss," you replied. "But first, we need to talk." Cal nodded warily, and you retracted your pistol. "Who was your Jedi master?"

Cal's eyebrows furrowed. He had no idea why you would possibly want to know that. Maybe to make sure they've got the right person? he thought, but that seemed unlikely. "Jaro Tapal," he replied.

You pursed your lips, then nodded. "Your name?"

"Cal Kestis."

You paused. Cal's eyes flicked down to your pistol, and then back to your stern expression. He was weak, and tired, and in a very vulnerable position. He just hoped that he wouldn't say the wrong thing and cost him his life.

With the same intimidating visage, you outstretched your hand. He hesitated, then took it. "(Y/N) (L/N)," you said, shaking his hand slowly and standing up. You reached for the lightsaber and held it up to your face. Cal winced as you ignited it, your dark eyes scanning the azure blade. "So you're a Jedi, huh?"

Cal hummed in agreement and slowly, cautiously stood from the ground. You saw, but didn't react—you were well aware that you had the upper hand in the situation. You switched the lightsaber off and held it by your side. "You know, I don't agree with you Jedi." You sidled towards him as you spoke. "You're all so high and mighty about protecting the galaxy and the sacrifices you make to keep peace-"

"The Jedi put their lives at risk to restore order," Cal intervened. Who is she to criticise us? he questioned. "How come you know so much about us?"

Your eyes darkened even more as your fingers grazed your necklace. His question had struck a cord somewhere deep inside of you. "Yeah, you put your lives at risk and look where that got you?" Cal noticed how you skipped over his question, but he reminded himself of the two weapons in your hands before he pushed you any further.

Cal sighed, and decided to back down. "Ok, you're entitled to your opinion." Not that I agree with it, he wished he could say, but refrained from doing so. There was a small bout of silence, before Cal remembered something. "Do you know where my droid is?"

Your demeanour softened. "No." Cal felt his heart rate increase. "He ran away when I captured you, I couldn't find him. I guess he was lucky."

Cal sighed in relief. "You know," you began. "If I'd have known you were a Jedi, I would've declined the offer."

"I thought you hated us." Cal was beyond confused.

"I do," you replied honestly. "But I..." You trailed off, then started towards the prison door. When you reached it, you stopped and turned back to face Cal. "Nevermind." You tossed the lightsaber towards him. He caught it with ease.

"Wait," Cal exclaimed, just as you went to leave. "Why did you give me this? What do I do now?"

You shrugged. "I heard you've been here before, you'll be able to get to the arena easily." You pressed your hand to a panel and the door opened. Cal could do nothing but watch as you walked to the other side. The barrier lowered, and you span around to see Cal once more. "Have fun out there," you quipped, a small smile playing on your face. And then you turned and walked away, leaving Cal alone.

Once again knowing the way like clockwork, you began the route to the arena. Like you had said, you knew that Cal would find his way through the tunnels in no time, so you had to be ready.

You entered the hallway that surrounded the arena, then made your way up a staircase which led to Tormo's viewing box. Tormo greeted you as you arrived, standing from his Ogdo-skin couch to pat you on the back. "You did an amazing job, (Y/N)," he praised. "Come, sit." He gestured to the couch, and you joined him. Tormo glanced out of the glass box and into the arena. "I am beyond excited for this rematch." His voice had an almost childlike excitement to it.

A few others joined them. You couldn't name any of them, but could tell from their masses of jewellery and serious expressions that they were somewhat rich and highly regarded. They shook hands and chatted vicariously as you sat next to Tormo, feeling out of place. Then, a high pitched shrill sounded from somewhere in the room and the crowd dispersed, taking their seats behind the main couch.

Tormo sprung up from his seat and stood at the front of the room, staring out into the arena. He pressed on a remote, then a holo-projection of him burst into life in the arena. The crowd roared.

"Greetings again, Cal Kestis," Tormo started. His hologram's booming voice mixed with the clear, closer voice that you could also hear. The sheer volume made your head throb.

"You have been brought to me by my best Bounty Hunter, (Y/N) (L/N), as I'm sure you're aware." Tormo glanced at you, grinning. "Can we all have a round of applause for them, please?"

Your cheeks flushed as the audience clapped and cheered. You weren't used to this sort of attention.

Tormo waited for the sound to die down, then continued. "Cal, I'm sure you're aware of why you're here. You beat us last time, and was lucky enough to escape. But your friends won't come to save you now, I've made sure of that. This challenge will be even harder for you-" He glanced around at the crowd. "And even more entertaining for us! Let the battle commence!" The audience erupted into joyous cries once more.

You peered down at Cal, who looked much smaller from where she sat. He seemed determined as he ignited his lightsaber, holding it in front of him in defence. Two pillars arose from the ground, and a few small creatures that you had never seen before emerged from them. Cal defeated them with ease, but you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. As much as you disliked Jedis, you didn't enjoy watching him fight. Of course, you pushed the sensation down, refusing to acknowledge it.

After a few rounds, Cal was damaged, but still fighting nevertheless. Tormo was right about the guy—he sure was persistent.

Someone tapped you on the shoulder, breaking your train of thought. You recognised the person as the Haxion Brood Commando, with his gun grasped firmly in his hand. "Come with me," he spoke, his true voice masked by some sort of robotic filter he wore.

You arose, following the Commando down the steps and through the hallway. You approached a door, and the Commando nudged you towards it, keeping his gun aimed at you. "Press the button," he said.

You hesitated. You knew in your mind exactly what this was, but didn't want to believe it. "Okay," you mumbled, then did as you were told. The door slid open to reveal the arena, just as you had thought. The Commando pushed you into it and shut the door before you could react.

"Time for Phase Two," Tormo said.

#star wars #jedi fallen order #cal kestis #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x you #gender neutral reader #cere junda #greez dritus #nightsister merrin #merrin x reader #fanfic

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canumoveurseatup-no · 6 years ago

Text

I Wasn’t Ready

(Endgame Spoiler)

summary: parents teach you a lot of things, prepare you for a lot of thing to face in life... but what they don’t prepare you for is to be ready when it’s their time

word count: 3.9k

pairings: Tony Stark x Black!Daughter!Reader, Peter Parker x Black!Girlfriend!Reader

warnings: major character death, mentions of breakdowns, loss of a parent.

a/n: i’m still hurt. THIS IS KIND OF LIKE A LOOSE SEQUEL TO MY FIC “READY”

a/n pt.2: if you’re on the tag list please comment and reblog or you will be removed :)

——————

“You’re going to stick around forever right, dada?”

Tony loved holding your tiny little body in his arms. You were so sweet and affectionate, you were a blessing, you gave him meaning, purpose.

“Forever and ever,”

———

It wasn’t supposed to be him... Got dammit it wasn’t supposed to be him.

You and Steve smiled at each other when Thanos’ army began to disintegrate into nothing just like he had done to your people five years ago. Good riddance.

It took a lot to get here, it wasn’t easy. This was your one chance to win and you all won.

But what did it cost?

Everything...

Your smile dropped when you saw your dad holding his hand up with the gauntlet on.

“Steve,” whispering, you didn’t want it to be true, it’s not real, you were supposed to win, all of you were supposed to win!

Steve runs over to Tony and everyone gathers around, everyone gets close- but you can’t, because he’s gonna be okay, everyone is begging like something is wrong but he’s gonna be okay! Right?

“Mr. Stark... can you hear me? It’s me, Peter, we won, you did it!! Tony- I’m sorry,”

You could only make out bits and pieces of what he was saying because the rush of blood filled your ears. Kind of like that sound when you put a shell up to your ear but amplified x100. You just stood there numb while Pepper said they were gonna be okay... you all were gonna be okay.. you had to be.

“You can rest now,”

That’s when you knew it was real.

You didn’t break down, o-or cry, no. You just stood there staring at your father’s grey face.

You stare at his arc reactor as it goes out and just like that the light in you was gone, for good.

His lifeless eyes were staring at you and you couldn’t look away. Maybe Thor could restart it like he did when you all went back in time? There had to be another way.

He said he would stick around forever and ever! He never lies to you! He has never lied to you a day in his life. He’s not really gone. You all are gonna go back home and someone is gonna fix him up. Or maybe he’s gonna do a dramatic gasp and come back like they always did in the movies..

But this wasn’t like the movies. He never woke up. He never got fixed up, he never did that cliche dramatic gasp, no.

His lifeless eyes just continued to stare at you and you couldn’t look away.

“Y/N-, Y/N?, Babe, we gotta go”

Peter shook your shoulder and you snap out of it and look at him, confused, tilting your head. You never got the chance to appreciate the fact that he was back. Five years of mourning and now he’s here.

“Hi, Peter, I missed you” you give a smile that worried him.

How can a smile worry someone? It’s a smile... except this one was empty, like a humanoid robot trying it’s best to replicate human emotion.

“Y/N, we gotta go,”

“Where are we going, Peter?,”

Your voice was laced with tender sweetness and while it would have made anyone happy to hear it, everyone turned to you with worry in their eyes.

How were you smiling? How were you being so sweet in this moment after your father just died in front of you?

“We’re going home,” he tugged on your hand and you reluctantly followed.

“But this is home,”

“It’s not home, Y/N!,” he turned to you in a rage but you kept your smile on your face. You had to smile or else you’d crack.

“Peter,” Pepper rested her hand on his shoulder and shook her head, “Y/N, sweetie we gotta go,”

Pepper took your hand and guided you through the portal Strange made. You saw Thor pick up your dad and you knew you wouldn’t be the same, without him there isn’t a home.

———

“Everyone wishes for a happy ending,”

You saw the hologram of your father sitting down in front of you and so bad you wanted to rush out and hug him but you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself.

Morgan was curled up into her mother and so bad you wanted to console her but you couldn’t even do that for yourself. You stood in the back of the living room and stared out the window. You just wanted to leave. You couldn’t stay here anymore, too many reminders of him, you wouldn’t be happy here, no.

You silently backed away and down the hall to your room, you scanned the space and smiled at everything. On your bookshelf where was a an old bottle cap from your dad’s favorite root beer. You’ll never forget that day on the beach where he cracked one open and threw the bottle cap on the ground-

————

“Dada! You’re not supposed to litter!,” your tiny finger pointed at him and he held his hands up in surrender

“You know what- you’re right, munchkin. I won’t do it again,”

He picked up the bottle cap and and placed it in your hand.

“You keep it. Keep it as a token that little angels like you stand up against big doofuses like me who liter,”

“You’re not a doofus dada,” you climb in his lap while he sits under the umbrella and lounges. It was so nice out and he had his nose covered in sunscreen, “You just don’t think about certain things. But I love you anyway”

“I love you more,”

———

Then there’s the teddy bear he got you when everyone in your class had a Valentine except for you

———

“For a special girl on a special day,”

You cried, hard. Tony showed up to your class with a heart box of chocolates, and a mini teddy bear, those were your favorite.

Your eyes lit up and Tony lived for that day, the smile on your face, the twinkle in your eyes, it was one of the best days of his life.

“Thank you, thank you, th-hank you!!,” you jumped for joy and wrapped your little arms around his legs and cried

“This is so much better than those stupid lollipops everyone got from their valentine!,” You sniffles and held the teddy bear tight, kissing it over and over. You waved the heart of chocolates around in the air and jumped, “You’re the best valentine ever, dada!,”

“No, you’re the best,” he squated down to your level and booped your nose, kissing your little forehead and smiling back at you, “After school we’re gonna go to that fancy restaurant. I have a date,”

“With whoooo?,” you stomped your foot and placed your hands on your hips awaiting an answer

“You,” he kissed your forehead before getting ready to leave so you could get back to instruction, “Doofus junior”

You kissed his cheek and gave him a thumbs up, “You got it doofus senior!,”

———

“Y/N?,”

You turn around at the intruding voice and set the teddy bear down and walk towards Peter and your sister.

“What’s up?,” you bend down to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear

“Mommy told me to come and save you,” she placed your hand on your cheek and you backed away, “She said time to eat a little,”

“Tell her I’ll be down in a bit okay, Morgy?,”

She nodded and rushed back down the hall. You ignored Peter and go back to your trip down memory lane. You wondered what you could take with you, but everything related to him and you just wanted to forget, as bad as that sounds. You wanted to forget.

“Y/N, everyone is worried,”

You feel Peter’s hand on your waist and you turn around, placing one on his cheek.

“But why? I’m fine,”

As long as you kept telling yourself that, you would be. If you kept pretending, it would eventually become a truth right? Fake it til you make it.

That’s what you told yourself. Just keep pretending, keep faking but you were terrified you’d be faking forever.

“You haven’t shown an ounce of emotion since... since,”

“Since he died,”

Peter wished he could wipe that smile off your face. How are you smiling saying that?

“Just say it, Peter. Since he died..” you shrug and step around him to sit on your bed and look at your picture together with him, years ago before all of this mess happened. Right after the wedding.

“You haven’t shown an ounce of emotion since he died. We know you’re hurting, Y/N. That was your father, you can be emotional”

“Dad wouldn’t want me to cry. So I’m not. There’s no reason to cry. I half expected this to happen with how selfless he always was,” you clear your throat at the first feeling of it tightening, you wouldn’t do this, you wouldn’t break down.

“Y/N, your dad would want you to feel any emotion about this rather than hiding it,”

“You don’t know anything!,”

You didn’t mean to snap. It’s just, for days, up until now everyone has been asking you if you’re okay and that Tony would want you to feel this, do that yadda yadda yadda, you just wanted it to STOP!

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

Peter swallows thickly and shakes his head, “I know him enough to know he wouldn’t want you to bottle things up like this-“

“I’m not bottling anything up,”

“But regardless-,” Peter held his hand up, not wanting to listen to you acting like none of what he was saying wasn’t the truth, “-I’m going to be there for you whenever you’re ready,”

The problem with that was you weren’t sure if you were ever going to be ready. No one is ever really to mourn their parents.

No one.

———

It’s officially been five months since you’ve moved out and five months since the incident and you couldn’t have been happier.

You cut out meat, simply to avoid the topic or a place involving cheeseburgers.

You’d visit the new compound and Pepper and Morgan at the cabin every few weeks, making sure to keep your eyes straight in avoidance of anything that could remind you of anything involving your dad.

You didn’t watch TV, you got a new wardrobe, you changed your major, worked your ass off- all to avoid the topic or thought of him. But it didn’t help much when everyone wanted to have their bi-weekly family dinner. You’ve avoided them as much as you could up until now. Peter had begged and wouldn’t leave you alone until you said yes.

Your relationship was on the rocks but you pushed it to the back burner like you always with did everything else. Ever since that day, you’ve turned all your emotions off and it’s concerned Peter to a great length as it out a strain on your relationship. You go about your days as if nothing happened, as if the fight never happened with ugly results.

You lost Nat and Tony but you acted as if you didn’t have anyone to mourn because you acted like they were still here... as if they were on a vacation and you’d see them again soon.

“Pepper and Morgan miss you,” he cleared his throat and straightened himself up in his seat as he drove to the new compound.

He’d taken it upon himself to be there for them as much as possible seeing as you isolated yourself. They all understood why but it didn’t make it suck any less.

“I’m not sure why, I visit them when I can,” you had drowned yourself in work, taking up more hours just to keep your mind from wandering.

“That’s your sister and step mother, Y/N. They went from seeing you everyday to barely twice a month. Tony wouldn’t want-,”

“Anyway-,” you cut him off, “I got a promotion at work,” smiling, you fiddle with a frayed thread of your jacket.

“I could imagine so, all you do is work,” you took after your dad, but Peter didn’t want to say that, knowing him being Tony up would only detonate the bomb that was you.

“It’s fun, I like working. Keeps my hands busy. School is good too, I’m passing with flying colors,”

Of course you were. You barely slept until all your work was done. You had to work yourself until exhaustion forced your body to shut down and at that point it was fine because you were so tired you couldn’t dream, which meant dreams of him didn’t plague you like they did at first.

Peter pulled up to the compound and you stared at the new layout, it had more pops of color than the plain whites and greys that it had before. You hesitated to get out but the knock on your window made you flinch.

“Y/N!!,” Morgan opened your door and smiled up at you in adoration. She missed her big sister. You send her a warm smile back and unbuckle your seatbelt before grabbing the pan of baked Mac and cheese and getting out.

“Hi, Morgy,” you kiss her forehead and give Peter the pan as she drags you inside.

“Everyone missed you!,” she squealed as she pulled you inside to find everyone moving around the kitchen to wash their hands and make their plates.

You didn’t say anything in response. You just squeezed her hand and greeted everyone. Seeing the underlying pity in their eyes made your stomach stir. It didn’t sit well with you. You avoided any questions about how you were doing.

“Hey sweetie,” Pepper kissed your cheek and Peter came behind to hand her the pan so she could set it on the stove to keep it warmed up.

“Hey, what are we having?,” you avoid her eyes and look around at the food, scowling at the main course, thankful you avoided meat, knowing Tony used to make this for you two all the time.

“Well I made you something different since you changed your diet. You mentioned an eggplant Parmesan recipe so I tried that. Sam likes it so I know it’s good,” she sounded happy but it had an edge to it, as if she was afraid to tip you over like a hot pot of water.

“I’m sure it’s going to be great, thank you,” you patted her hand gratefully before washing yours and making your own plate and sitting down. Steve was here and it was weird to see him in such a different light. He still had a glimmer of life in his eyes but... his skin was so dull and freckled with age spots- you missed the old.. young? Steve.

Dinner went about how any dinner would go. Talk of catching up and you made sure to think about other things, knowing the conversation would end somewhere you didn’t want it.

You noticed the two empty chairs at the table and it angered you that they kept them here. Why not just fucking take them away? Was it some sick joke?

“Y/N, me and mommy are going to a memorial for daddy tomorrow, you want to come?,” Morgan looked at you hopefully and your ears began ringing so loud that you didn’t hear Pepper scold Morgan for bringing it up.

Peter’s hand wraps around yours but you barely feel it as you stare off into space and try your best to think about other things so the dam behind your eyes didn’t break.

“Y/N!,”

Your mind goes haywire as every single memory you had with him flooded your mind.

The bottle cap from the beach.

The Valentine’s Day bear.

Your favorite bedtime story.

Your favorite stay at home meal.

Doofus junior and doofus senior.

Sitting on the couch one night as you two stayed up late and you sat in his lap watching TV and the conversation you two had-

“You’re going to stick around forever right, dada?”

“Forever and ever,”

That was it. It’s like you’re sucked through a tunnel of memories back into the present moment and the first thing you hear when you come back is your own strangled sobs.

“He lied!,” you gasped and clenched your eyes shut, “He lied to me!!,”

You’re looking around looking for any source of air because now you’re just choking. It feels like your emotions have you in a choke hold and you can’t breathe. Like you’re wearing a necklace of thorns that are stabbing you.

You stumbled over your own feet trying to get outside, going right out to the spot where he went away... the day he lied to you for the first time.

“You lied! You fucking lied, you’re such a liar!,”

Your fists pound the ground and your screaming with all your might. You’re pulling at the grass and just screaming at the spot until you feel someone’s arms wrapping around you trying to pull you away.

“I wasn’t ready for him to go! No, not yet!”

You fight against the hold on you until you knock both of you on your butts onto the ground.

Everyone else is standing by watching you finally let out everything you’ve been holding in. It was sad how it happened, but this needed to happen. It wasn’t pretty but it had to happen.

“It’s not fair! I wasn’t ready! I- I can’t, I can’t do this anymore, I can’t,”

The breaking of your voice echoed through the air as you screamed. It felt like you were dying all over again and it was painful.

Peter looked over to everyone as he held you, he hated to see this, he hated the fact that for months you went on like nothing happened and you finally cracked. He hated feeling you claw helplessly at his skin as sobs wracked your body. But he knew this would happen eventually.

“I didn’t mean to make her sad,” Morgan looked up at Pepper but she just bent down and reassured her

“Honestly... this needed to happen. She’s not mad at you, no one is. She’s probably going to thank you later,”

Morgan still knew she caused this and didn’t quite understand why it needed to happen so she just hugged her mommy’s leg and hid until Pepper forced everyone back inside so Peter could tend to you.

“I know this hurts. I know this hurts,” Peter’s voice betrayed him as it cracked but he swallowed it down and kept a staring voice, “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I wish I could take your pain away. I wish I could take back all of this so it wasn’t real. I wish I could say we’d wake up and it all be a nightmare but babe, I can’t,”

He sounded defeated in himself so he could only imagine how you felt.

“He said he would stick around for forever and ever,” you shake your head and stare at the spot your eyes burn more as fresh tears come to the surface, “He lied to me”

“It’s not like he meant to,”

You felt your body swaying as Peter started to rock you back and forth.

“I know...” sighing, you sit up and look at Peter in his eyes and frown, “This was our chance to be better. I know I somehow came back sooner than all of you but I was so willing to keep living and keep fighting to be better but I lost him, Peter. I lost my dad! How am I ever going to be okay? How can I ever get better?”

“We can’t give up, Y/N. He wouldn’t want you to surrender again. He did what he did so everyone could live the life they needed even if he wasn’t here to see it... Nat too,”

———

You stirred awake in a spare room of the compound and found the bed empty.

You roll onto your back and stare up at the ceiling, feel the dull throbbing of your head from your episode a few hours ago.

“Glad to see you’re awake, doofus junior,”

You felt the air leave your body at the sound of his voice.

“It’s not real. It’s not real,” you figured you’ve come to terms that he was actually gone but your mind wanted to play tricks on you. Now is not the time.

“It’s real, kiddo,”

You sit up in a flash and see him standing at the foot of the bed with a smug smirk on his face.

“Dad,” your face twists as you begin crying, “Please don’t play a trick. Please don’t let this be a sick joke,” you were shaking your head, this wasn’t real, this was a dream.

“I’m not here physically but, I think this will do, don’t you think?,”

You jump out of the bed, ready to wrap your arms around him until you fall through him.

“I said I wasn’t here physically,” he states matter-of-factor.

“H-how? How are you talking to me? Dad, I say them- I saw you-,”

“It’s a reconstruction of my mind... my essence. I always had this as a back up plan in case my body gave out,”

You were about to puke everywhere.

“Why didn’t you come sooner?,”

“I needed a trigger- you, were the trigger. I figured you all were going to be okay but once you went off the deep end I knew it was time for me to wake up,”

You would slap him if you could. He could have at least let you know this plan, but no.

“You should have told me! I- I lived in a fantasy world for months to avoid the fact that you’re really gone. How could I ever be okay?! Were you okay when I got dusted, dad?!,”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and shook his head, “I know I prepared you to face a lot of things in life... but one thing I didn’t prepare you for was the day it was my time and I’m sorry,”

You turned your back to him, not wanting him to see you cry. You already made a scene in the first place, you couldn’t handle making another one.

“I didn’t want to. I really didn’t, Y/N, believe me. I finally had the family I wanted- I had you, my first born, I got married and had another daughter and I was finally content... but I guess the only way I could rest was to eternally rest,”

“It’s not fair,” you croaked, “It shouldn’t have been you. It shouldn’t have been Nat. It shouldn’t have been anyone, it’s not fair. I wasn’t ready for any of this,” you turn around and realize how real he looks, as if he never left except you couldn’t hug him like you wanted, you couldn’t hug him like you needed.

“I know it’s not fair. But I’m here. I know it’s not like how you wanted, but I’m here,”

“I just want to hug you, dad. I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not saying goodbye, I’m sorry for not acknowledging your death but I couldn’t,”

Tony shook his head and smiled, “I can’t blame you. You’re my kid,”

You two talked all night until the sun came up, there was talk of getting him in a boy kind of like Vision so he could be here, “I don’t want to sleep,”

He knew you barely got any shut eye since everything happened.

“I’m still going to be here when you wake up. I’m not going anywhere. I’m sticking around,”

“Forever and ever?”

“Forever and ever,”

-----------

I had to break my heart a little bit. I couldn’t help it.

please comment and reblog!

tags- @mbaku-babygirl @babybubastis @vozit @blackreaders-assemble @yournonlocalpoc @retroxvailles @mokacoconut @marvclheaux @dumbchick @warmchick @spideys-wife @xye-weirdo @m00nlightdelights @micki-smiles @veryhellshdia @never-enough-time-for-sleep @here-for-your-bullshit @valynsia @valkyriesnymph @honeynmlk @chonisberonica @valentinevirgo @crawlingnightmares @hisxblackxqueen

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dumbchickwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Be Mine — part 3

Pairings: Erik Stevens x Reader.

Warnings: soft! Erik.

Requested by @wakanda-inspired.

A/N: Again, no keep reading tag, sawry!😬 About this part, I was going to leave it at that but I was like.... ‘this lacks drama’. So beware, unnecessary drama below lol.

Part One Part Two

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Erik realised that he needed to change the idea that you had of him. He needed to show you that you were special, that only you held his heart in your hands.

So with the help of T’Challa and Kemi, two of your best friends, he organised a little surprise dinner for you, at sunset, your favourite moment. Kemi, more than happy to spend a few minutes with Erik immediately following him and T’Challa to the kitchens.

As Erik and Kemi talked to the chef, T’Challa couldn’t help but think something was off with the handmaiden. Last he heard, you were telling him how much she liked Erik. And just the day before, you told him that someone’s advice kept you from kissing Erik that night.

“Kemi,” he called.

“Yes, kumkani?”

“Would you come with me, please?”

Once they were out of Erik’s earshot, he pulled her around a corner.

“(Y/N) told me she came to you for advice after she talked to N’Jadaka. Would you mind telling me what you told her?”

“My King, these are private conversations,” she tried to laugh the request off but T’Challa kept a straight face.

“Alright then. As your King, I command you to tell me what was said. And I’ll know if you lie.”

Your best friend gulped. “Well, she came to me, told me what happened. I was sceptical at first because, well, we all know about the Prince’s... activities. So I told her that maybe he was not sincere.”

“Hm,” T’Challa crossed his arms, one of hands going to fiddle with his beard. “Isn’t it true that you are... infatuated with N’Jadaka?”

“I...” Kemi opened and closed her mouth, not knowing what to say. “I wouldn’t say ‘infatuated’—“

“You’re dismissed.”

“... I’m sorry?”

“You can be. N’Jadaka won’t need you anymore, you can go.”

With that, he left her in the hallway. He went back in the kitchens to find Erik studying a piece of paper. With a little smile, his cousin handed it to him.

“What do you think?”

“I’m sure she’ll love it,” T’Challa smiled, giving the menu back to Erik.

You kissed your lips as you huffed and puffed on your way to the massive panther statue on the other side of the mountain. Had you known T’Challa would call you there — for what exactly, you didn’t know, you wouldn’t have worn heels that morning. Scowl set on your face, you stepped off the elevator, ready to cuss his head off.

Except it wasn’t T’Challa on the cliff. It was Erik, standing in front of a table. He was wringing his hands, looking at the table, but the moment he saw you he dug them in his pockets, a close-mouthed smile on his lips showing off his dimples.

He looked absolutely adorable.

“Wh... What’s going on?” you approached him with small steps.

“Will you have dinner with me? ... Please?”

You could have cried. That had to be one of the sweetest things anyone had done for you.

“Oh, Erik...”

You threw yourself in his arms, your own circling his torso. With your ear against his chest, you could hear the beats of his heart quicken as you squeezed him tighter.

Erik immediately hugged you back, burying his nose in your hair, inhaling the scents of shea butter and coconut oil. Finally. Holding you felt so, so good. Better than he ever imagined.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled.

“You did all of this for me?” you asked with watery eyes as you took in the setup.

“And I wouldn’t do it for anyone else.”

If you weren’t falling in love with Erik before, you sure as hell were now. A burst of confidence shooting through your body, your hand found the back of his head and pushed it towards yours, making your lips collide in a passionate, breathtaking kiss.

Erik moaned in your mouth as your tongue started dancing with his and he embraced you tighter, if that was even possible.

“Erik, I have to ask,” you said in the middle of dinner. “Why me? Why all of this?”

“‘Cause you got me, Princess. You’re the only thing that keeps me sane these days, you keep me grounded. When I’m with you I feel safe, I feel heard and seen. I want you to feel all those things when you’re with me. I want you to be mine, just like I’m yours.”

You couldn’t help it. You left your chair to sit on his lap, your legs dangling on one side.

“I’m yours,” you whispered against his lips before kissing him again.

You and Erik had officially been an item for a few weeks now. You couldn’t get enough of him, of his touch, of his lips, his warmth. Happiness had you glowing and giggling to yourself like a school girl as you thought of him. You were over the moon.

Kemi kept telling you to just wait. Wait until he slips up, because he will. He’s a womaniser. And you haven’t even laid with him yet! He will never settle down with you. But honestly you couldn’t care less about what she thought, and she saw it.

“Looks like someone had a great night,” Shuri teased as you entered T’Challa’s office.

Once a week the three of you would sit down and catch up on gossip and your respective lives. It didn’t look like it but the King of Wakanda loved juicy gossip, he also had the best too.

“Yes, we slept together. I mean we slept together, literally slept, but we didn’t — you know.”

“Bast, (Y/N), I’m not a child anymore!” Shuri rolled her eyes.

“Alright, alright!” you raised your hands in surrender as you sat down on T’Challa’s desk.

“Eh, I already told you, there are chairs here and a sofa over there! Both of you!” the King huffed, gesturing towards you and Shuri, who sat on the other end of the desk.

“Yes, yes,” you waved his remark away. “So, what’s new?”

“We need to find another handmaiden,” Shuri said.

“Why?” you frowned. “What’s wrong with Kemi?”

“She’s becoming sloppy, you do all the work around here. She gets distracted, and I don’t like her energy.”

“Well, I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation to all of this. I’ll talk to her.”

“How can you defend her after what she’s done to you?” T’Challa tilted his head towards you.

“What she’s done to me? What has she done to me?”

“She put her interests before your happiness,” T’Challa stated, as if it was as simple as one plus one.

“I don’t understand,” you shook your head, the crease between your brows deepening.

“She is putting toxic thoughts about your relationship in your head because she wants N’Jadaka to herself. Don’t you think it’s strange that her behaviour is changing just when you’re perfectly happy in your relationship?”

You were livid. Not Kemi. Not your best friend since middle school. But when had T’Challa ever lied to you? Betrayal hit you first. A blow in your stomach which knocked the air out of your lungs. Then anger. You were angry that if it hadn’t been for her, you would have been with Erik long ago.

“I need to talk to her. Where is she?” you asked Shuri.

The Princess raised her wrist and a 3D hologram of the Palace came out of one of her kimoyo beads. She zoomed on the little blue dot and your blood ran cold.

“She’s in Erik’s chamb— (Y/N), wait!”

Without thinking, you kicked your heels off your feet and sprinted out of the room.

“Ugh!” Shuri groaned, hopping off her brother’s desk. “Eish, what are you doing?” she watched him walk at a normal pace. “Don’t you have superhuman speed? Aren’t you going to stop her?!”

“No,” T’Challa simply shook his head.

Shuri groaned again and rolled her eyes.

They found you in front of Erik’s door, fumbling with your kimoyo beads. You placed one on the massive door and the other in your ear. You were practically fuming. Kemi was using that voice, the one she used to lure her one night stands back to her house on nights out.

“What the hell are you doing?!” you heard Erik say.

“Oh, come on, your Highness! What has it been, weeks now? A man like you must miss it.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you, man. Get off me.”

That was enough.

You barged into the room, breath heavy and nostrils flaring. Kemi was sitting on Erik’s lap as he sat on his couch. They both had a look of pure horror on their faces.

Driven by adrenaline, you yanked Kemi off your man by her puff, making her cry out in pain.

“(Y/N), it’s not what you think, I swear!” she cowered on the ground.

“No? Weren’t you just trying to seduce my boyfriend?!”

“No! I— I just wanted to—to show you he’s not trustworthy!”

“Baby, you know that’s bullshit!” Erik exclaimed from behind you.

You raised your hand to make him stop talking. He immediately thought that that was it. You’d break up with him and he’d be back to square one, but this time with no hope whatsoever.

“I can’t believe I spent all these years calling you my best friend, my sister, only for you to go around my back like this and play your twisted mind games with me!” you spat, blood boiling.

Her mask of tears and pity melted, leaving in its place a nasty scowl.

“You always had everything you wanted, everything you dreamed of was handed to you on a silver platter. Even the damned King is a your feet! So yes, I wanted something for myself. I wanted him,” she pointed her finger at Erik. “And in order to have him, I had to keep you as far back as I could.”

“Crazy ass,” Erik muttered under his breath.

As you rolled your eyes, Kemi saw an opportunity. In a flash, she was off the ground and her hand about to collide with your cheek. Instead, it was met by a golden spear.

“You do not. Lay hands. On the Princess,” Okoye, who had followed Shuri and T’Challa, warned.

Kemi huffed, her face contorted by fury. With a dark look sent your way, she stomped out of the room.

“Feel free to never come back!” Shuri yelled after her.

You thanked Okoye for her protection and she gave you a curt nod, then left followed by the royal siblings, leaving you with Erik. You turned around to face your boyfriend, hands on your hips.

“Baby, I swear, nothing happened—“

“I know,” you smiled.

Erik exhaled, relieved.

“That bitch is crazy.”

A laugh escaped your lips as you buried your face in his chest, your arms around his torso. “You can say that again. But don’t worry about it. I’m still yours if you’re still mine.”

Erik hugged you back, leaving a kiss on the top of your head. “I’m yours, baby. I ain’t going anywhere.”

A smile stretched Erik’s lips as he held you, gently rocking your bodies back and forth.

He had won the girl.

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