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usmsgutterson · 2 years ago

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did u know ao3 has no jesper x male fics??? IT IS ABSOLUTELY CRIMINALLL 😭😭😭😭

can i pls req a jesper fluff 🤭🤭 i dont rlly have a preference for how u do it, just like playful flirting and confessions 🫶🏼

thank you :)

Light of The Moon- J.F x Male! Reader

Okay, judging by your comment about ao3, I went ahead and made this an x male! reader and it is pretty damn fluffy lol. I'm sorry that this took me like, two weeks, I just couldn't figure out how to start this for the life of me and only after I figured it out did I proceed.

I hope you like this one! I leaned more into the confession aspect then I did the flirting because I cannot write anything better than half decent flirting for the life of me, but I hope you like this if you read it kind nonnie.

Fic type- fluff

Warnings- mentions of lungs being given away (Jesper says he would've given his left lung up) mentions of blades, mentions of alcohol and alcohol consumption. I'm also tired and this is largely unedited but we die like matthias in this house

Spring was an odd, but a lovely, time of year. It was the in between as far as weather was concerned. Some days called for rainstorms, others were humid and breezeless, though more often than not, it was a perfect blend of the two extremes.

That day, the day that Jesper graced your door with a candle, some tea, and a few good books, it was rainy. You could hear the pitter-patter of rain against the window that stood two feet above your bed and was connected to the ceiling, and you'd let it be the soundtrack to your routine that day.

Waking up and eating two of the cinnamon buns you'd bought from a bakery in the Geldcanal, not far out from where Wylan had lived with his mother.

Brushing your teeth, showering, getting dressed, grabbing your umbrella and your bag and getting a ride on a cheap coach to the University District, where you took your classes and ignored the intense headache that kicked in halfway through your day. Going home, doing a few hours behind the bar at the Crow Club.

The rain still continued close to eleven bells, after you'd grabbed your cheque for two weeks of work from Kaz and when Jesper showed at your door, two teas in hand, a candle, lighter, and a few books in a satchel draped over a shoulder.

"Mind if I steal your company for a bit, love?"

You scoffed. "You needn't flirt with me, Jesper, not if company is your goal," you said. "I would legitimately drop everything just to hear you laugh, so the flirting isn't necessary."

It was Jespers turn to scoff. "Well then, as far as flirting is concerned, it seems you've become my competition."

"Loser goes against Nina," you suggested as Jesper passed you the tea he'd grabbed. Jespers face showed horror for a moment before he relaxed.

"She'd beat us in a minute," he said. "No chance either of us would win that fight. I think I watched her make eyes at a pair of boots she liked once."

You laughed, took a sip of the tea Jesper had brought along. "Thank you for the tea, by the way. Needed it more than I thought."

Jesper only shrugged in response, incredible grin coming to his face easily.

"It's no problem, love," he said, the grin turning into a smirk. He'd been using that nickname for you since you'd known him, claiming he liked the way it made you flustered.

You'd taken that for what it was, chosen to remain selectively oblivious every time he used it and your heart gave a funny flitter in response.

"I've missed you," Jesper spoke into the silence. "Kaz has had me swept up in jobs and—"

You accidentally cut Jesper off with a nod. He'd been swept up in jobs for Kaz, you'd been swept up trying to graduate from university in one piece as midterms approached and your workload grew more by the day. A literature degree, as it turned out, was not all that you hoped it would be. It wasn't anything short of difficult and it was nothing if not occasionally mildly inconvenient.

"I've missed you more," you said. "Academia, especially in lit, is not easy. I regret this degree sometimes. Miss the jobs, the thrill of it."

Jesper laughed. "Ah, so you miss the jobs more than me?"

You shook your head. Jesper was your best friend, the guy who you'd been in love with since you enrolled in at Ketterdam University and met him in your first week. The jobs may have been worth it because of the money, but ultimately, jobs be damned.

You'd gotten the degree so that you wouldn't be reliant upon crime-based income as it were after having lived as a member of the Dregs for nearly a year and a half when you'd enrolled. But, there was a part of you that knew you'd happily give the degree up if it meant you never had to go more than a week without seeing Jesper, without hearing his jokes and responding to his quips with wit quicker than a blade.

"Never," you said. "I've missed you like hell, though. Seriously. I've missed you much it's not even funny."

Jesper laughed as he lit the candle, and an easy conversation went on. Jesper discussed the job that he'd just been on, and in turn, you discussed the mundanities of university life.

"I came round to talk about something," Jesper said after a few moments had passed, taking a sip of his tea absentmindedly. You took a sip of yours, dread filling you from head to toe.

"Anything good?" You asked.

"Depends on if you feel the same way," Jesper said, a nervous laugh prickling at the end of his sentence. "I uh—silences have never really been my forte, as you've been able to guess. I don't know when it happened, but we've known each other so long and it just kind of did, and I understand if you don't—"

A grin spread on your face before you could stop it. "Are you in love with me, Jesper Fahey?"

"Am I that easily read?" Jesper asked.

You grinned, shrugging. "I've loved you since I saw you at the Boeksplein on my first day at campus," you said. "I saw you and I just thought that—"

Jesper blinked. He'd recalled turning, meeting your gaze and silently recognizing you when he saw you maybe a week and a half later at the Slat, brandy in hand as you poured over something from your course load. He remembered striking a conversation about it, too.

"I watched you take notes on the book you were reading for a classic lit division my first night at the Slat," Jesper recalled. "I remember. I approached, started a conversation, and I fell in love almost right off the bat. It was the brandy that got me, I think. Brandy shows good taste."

You laughed a bit as Jesper came to sit to your right. "That night?" You asked. "I looked a mess that night, and you fell in love with me then?"

"You didn't look a mess," Jesper disagreed. You remembered that night in near perfect detail. You'd been wearing a Ketterdam University jumper that all first years got in the welcome kits they were given at the campus entrance, a maroon colored one with gray sweatpants. Your hair was a mess from running your hands through it so much, your fingertips stained with ink by the time that Jesper had approached.

"I absolutely did, Jes," you disagreed.

Jesper thought on it for a few moments. "All right," he said. "I concede. You looked a mess."

You nodded your agreement.

"But you were quite the mess that day," Jesper said. "The sight of you sent me into a gay panic that Inej made fun of me over, and I think right then I would've given my left lung just to kiss you."

You laughed, resting your forehead against his shoulder.

"I really would've," Jesper said. "Still would, I think."

"You don't have to give anything up to kiss me," you said. "The feeling is mutual, seriously."

Jesper grinned, and you pulled your forehead off his shoulder, standing and setting the to-go mug of tea you held onto your dresser. Jesper did the same, and then you both were leaning in.

"May I?" Jesper asked.

You grinned, nodding as your arms came to rest on either of his shoulders where his wrapped around your waist. "Jesper, I have waited for you to kiss me for four years. Please do."

And then his lips were on yours and you were so happy that it felt almost earth shattering, contentment flowing through you like it never had.

He pulled away, grinning. "I love you," he whispered, lips still ghosting yours. "I have loved you as long as I've known you."

"Ditto," you whispered, and he was laughing, and your lips were on his again and you were so content that it was almost dizzying.

You spent the remainder of the night in each others company, the both of you exchanging kisses and talking in the light of the moon. You felt like your life was perfect, and you wouldn't've had it any other way

#jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey x male reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

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daffodilsonaprettystring · 2 years ago

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SPOILERS FOR SHADOW AND BONE SEASON 2 BELOW THE CUT RUNNNN

To all of y’all saying Wesper was rushed or that you don’t like that they had a once night stand or that you don’t like that they had sex: Reapectfully, SHUT UPPPP.

Can you guys not see the vision?? IMAGINE GOING INTO THE ICE COURT PLOT WITH THIS ESTABLISHED WESPER. The angst?? The caring about eachothers safety?? JESPER THINKING WYLAN IS DEAD WHEN THEY BLOW UP THE SHIP AT THE END OF THE BOOK??

…..JESPER KISSING THE WRONG MAN????????????????

GUYS SEE THE VISION WESPER WILL BE WESPERING SO HARD IN FUTURE SEASONS PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS FROM ME

Also in terms of the one night stand/wesper having sex in the show I’m actually VERY glad they did that considering they’ve aged up the characters the way they did. This is a portrayal of adults, not kids, and Wylan was NEEEVER shy about his feelings for Jesper in the books so I definitly feel like if he saw that man in the streets he’d totally have a one night stand, especially if Jesper was on the same page lmao.

Also????? WE GOT THE “and when I woke up you were gone” BOMB DROP OUT OF THAT PLOTLINE HOW CAN YOU GUYS BE MAD ABOUR THIS

People DIED with that line delivery

It was me

I’m people

Anyway Wesper is life tyvm imma go rewatch that scene in Ep 4 again you know the one

#shadow and bone season 2 #shadow and bone #wesper #wylan hendriks #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #Grishaverse #seige and storm #six of crows #crooked kingdom #leigh bargudo

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cadcnce-archived · 2 years ago

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@psychcdelica sent: I still think about the journey and development WySae has been through, one that kinda just started as neighbours who pranked eachother (but Wylan totally won just with the furniture on the wall bit), to kinda friends or at least friendly with eachother, enough to accept a lot from the other - (lowkey think about the Mr Sandman answer...) Then we have a kinda timeskip which works perfectly in the Ai:TSF verse, (dont get me started on how happy I was when you started playing this game!!) And just, ugh, the awkwardness of reuniting, to another kind of tension of 'will they, won't they?' To dating, to a well loved proposal to having a daughter and their own little family! I just, love them so much and I'm so thankful I got to share that with you Bear!

And to think- this entire rollercoaster between them started over five years ago at this point. Quite the journey. Wylan and Sae are one of the ships that's seen so much investment, memes, and unexpected turns over that period of time. And how it's molded to fit the change of times! Funny now to think there was that period of time where they were set as platonic when Cat/Kanami was around.

Alas. Even if there's some stuff I fondly look back to from the P5 era (Wylan confronting the PT crew when they assault her palace for example) (the possibility of them fighting alongside each other in another palace) (basically everything with the case) it really was for the better that we moved things into AITSF given how much it has held both of us haha.

In hindsight I'm glad I waited as long as I did to play that game, otherwise I feel like things would have... I dunno, lined up differently? And it wouldn't have led to Sae getting involved? Keep in mind we ALSO almost had that post-P5 thing with Mitsuru instead! Which... while okay, doesn't come close to the plot we built in AI. We're both much happier now with how this was has played at.

Allover it's been one of my favorite verses to explore, and I have you to thank for it. Whether it's Wylan confronting himself and the person he is and could be, or exploring a reformation arc with mild redemption streaks. To ... shit, exploring him as a father. Not many ships have gotten to that point with him and I do adore it as much as the man goes out of his way to avoid romance and the L word. Silly lad, this is why he takes so many L's in a relationship. :^)

We're not even done yet. There's so much more to write with these two and I'm probably going to be doing this or something close to it another five years from now. If you're in for the long game, then so am I!

#psychcdelica #:: saved #inbox :: answered ooc #we love sae in this house

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ma-lark-ey · 2 years ago

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Lark Liveblogs Literature episode 3: Six of Crows duology

As we did with Harry Potter, Shadow & Bone Trilogy, and will be doing with The Mortal Instruments when I get back around to them I am liveblogging my reactions to Six of Crows.

What I know prior:

- We’ve got a guy named Kaz, he’s got a cane. My younger sister tells me I’ll adore him so I trust her judgement.

- There’s also a guy named Jesper, who one of my mates stole the name from for a water genasi. He’s queer??

- we also have someone named Wylen. My sister loves him a lot and tells me I will also love him though I am sceptical.

1.) Six of Crows (5/4/23— 10/4/23)

(8/10)

Right off the bat, I really love Inej! Her perspective is really lovely and her affection (/p) for Kaz is very clear from the get-go. It’s so juicy to meet our main protagonist from the perspective of an admirer and NOT themself. I’m obsessed with that.

I’m very respectfully in love with Kaz and did not say I’d makeout with him in the groupchat in front of god and everyone. No, sir. I am the most normal about Kaz Brekker.

Moving on from my goof, I really love Kaz just as a character. Having a disabled protagonist, much less one that’s Top Dog and very clearly feared and respected by his peers is SO GOOD. And quite honestly I think he’s the first disabled protag I’ve seen that wasn’t like, pity porn or magically nullified (at least in books. Love you Toph of Avatar fame). So if anyone has good reccs of other disabled protag books, drop ‘em. I’d love to read more.

OH I LIED ACTUALLY I READ STORMRUNNER!! I just didn’t get a chance to finish that series entirely so sorry I forgot about that. Love him SO MUCH. he and Kaz are my besties.

Inej 💖💖💖

Thats all.

Also the Banter!!! I’m not even a hundred pages in but the banter in Six of Crows is SO much better than Shadow & Bone. Bardugo has really grown as an author between these two series and it shows. The characters feel much more solid in this. Whereas Shadow & Bone’s characters (minus like, Alina, Nikolai, and Mal) felt extremely 2D at times (in my opinion) and I can see layers to Jesper, Inej, and Kaz right off the bat.

MATTHIAS H E L L O TOXIC MAN OF THE WEEK. im going to eat him.

My sister is fighting for her LIFE defending Matthias but I. THIS MAN IS A CONVICTED SLAVE TRAFFICKER??? SHE SAID ITS NOT HIS FAULT. girl. Get help.

Forgot to update this. Kaz is SOOOOO downbad. He’s DOWNBAD. just kiss her idiot. IDIOT. Wylan is funny, I wanna flick him on the forehead and ruffle his hair. He’s so goofy.

I’m not fully convinced Jesper ISN’T in love with Kaz.

THIS FIREPOX FLASHBACK IS A SPECIAL KIND OF FUCKED UP !!! “Together, they drifted, Jodie’s distended body acting as a raft.” Kaz…..

PIECED TOGETHER WHY KAZ HAYES TOUCH IM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY

EVERYONE IN THIS BOOK DOWN BAD FOR EACH OTHER!!! LOVE HEXAGON FR.

The Jylan Wesper whatever the fuck this shipname is development is literally such a tone change from Kaz I’m LAUGHING.

Kaz: This is how my brother died, audience.

Jesper, boutta catch himself a twink: cowabummer.

Nina. Nina you’re better than this. Nina how could you get the alarm sounded. NINA.

Okay debriefing after part five. I’m so. So. So.

Kaz and Inej better kiss. Jesper stop flirting you are about to die. Matthias I almost killed you alive. I wanted to burn you at the stake fr. Nina you’re a queen. You’re theiving. Kaz dont die so you can admit emotional vulnerability for the first time ever. Jesper so proud of you for overcoming tour cringe crush on Kaz. Hurry ip and makeout with Wylan this tension is PAINFUL.

THE ENDING THE ENDING THE ENDING SHSBSBSBSB THATS SO MUCH IM GOING TO EAT WYLAN I LOVE HIM. BOY OF ALL TIME. ILL MAKE OUT WITH YOU.

2.) Crooked Kingdom (13/4/23-17/4/23)

(9/10)

Listen. Okay. My Tumblr was glitched out for the first half of this book so I couldnt say anything but I can NOW.

All of this is WILD.

Kaz Brekker, you are stupid and dumb and I NEED you to be honest about your emotions for ONCE. i swear to GOD you pathetic little WORM.

Wylan’s mother what the HELL. what is HAPPENING. This is so fucked up I hope Jan Van Eck gets his life fucking destroyed by Kaz fuck him UP.

Kuwei i love and hate you so much you cheeky fuck that was so sly but also how fucking dare you do Jesper like that. Little shit. You’ve been too heavily influenced by these deceitful little canal rats.

Wylan babygirl I love you. I’ll kill you if you ACTUALLY spilled to your dad. Honestly thank god Kaz barely tells you anything. I love you. Rot in hell for this one.

STURMHOND 💓💓💓 NIKOLAI LANTSOV 💖💞🖤💚💞 I DIDNT EXPECT TO SEE YOU IM SO HAPPY YOURE HERE I MISSED YOU BESTIE MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH IM SUCH A NIKOLAI GIRLIE YOU GUYS.

Oh update on Matthias I’m neutral on him now. Sorry for my Matthias slander earlier. I do still have beef.

Everytime a plot twist happens in this book its like “YES. MICHAEL. what do you want now? More money? A check? My SOUL?”

Okay Wylan. Sorry I cussed you out so bad. You’re good. We’re friends again

MATTHIAS DIES????

Wild ride through and through. Obsessed with this. I would’ve liked to see more of Inej’s closure than we did— but I’m not mad at it. I think Pekka being the closing chapter was. I dont know. I have neutral feelings on the Pekka chapter.

I do think I like Crooked Kingdom more than Crows? I really liked it a lot !! And. I will be honest with myself and admit its because of the Sturmhond content. I know myself. I can admit when I am foaming at the mouth over my #1 bestie babe of all time Nikolai Lantsov.

That’s. All. I suppose?

Really did enjoy it !! If you have a fic where we see more of Inej and her family reuniting. Drop it. Or recs in general. I need more recs. I dont know the tag culture of this fandom yet <<3 scary <<3

Next series: All For the Game, Nora Sakavic.

Bonus:

Here’s my ranking of the Crows, btw. I love them all but some. Significantly more than others not sorry.

1. Wylan Hendricks

2. Inej Ghafa

3. Kaz Brekker

4. Jesper Fahey

5. Nina Zenik

6. Matthia Helvar

I dont know if this is a hot take or not. I just. <<3 Wylan and Inej <<3

#six of crows #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #lark liveblogs literature #lark says #the crooked kingdom

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thosesillylittlegayghosts · 2 years ago

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Episode 6 thoughts

Respectfully go away

I could care less about the overarching plot line rn

Actually loving baghra in this, she’s chill

Is Dominik like nikolais Dominik?!

OMG HE IS

HES NOT DEAD AND THEYRE BESTIES

‘My heart can beat again’ my dominikolai agenda is THRIVING (however I’m not sure how they could be together and have Zoyalai endgame but Dominik may die yet, otherwise it shall be a short lived teenage romance)

JORDIE BESTIE KAZ YOUR SO TRAUMATIZED

OMG INEJ IS WAKING UP

OMG ITS INEJS DREAM WHERE THEY ASSUMABLY DO SOMETHING THEY COULD NEVER DO NORMALLY I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE KAZS

Ngl wylan just looking at butterflies while everyone’s passed out is making me giggle

NOT THEM SHOWING JESPER NEXT

NO DO NOT DO FLASHBACKS OMG ITS HIS MUM NOOOO THIS IS HEARTBREAKING WTF

Love baghra

STAN TOLYA FOR ACTUALLY GETTING HELP

Ooo what tolya seeing

Aw bestie it’s gonna be tamar dead

OH GOD ITS HIM KILLING TAMAR

WHY ARE THEY ALL SO TRAUMATIZED

Wylan just casually plugging his ears also made me giggle

Wylan awesome

SHES TEACHING HIM HOW TO SHOOT

NOOO JESPER DONT DO THIS TO YOURSELF

OMG JES BABY IM GONNA CRY

THE KANEJ STILL THIS IS WHAT ITS FROM

HES TAKING OFF HIS ARMOR AND HERS

OMG BESTIE THEY WERE SO CLOSE IN HER LIL DREAM STATE

WYLAN CALLING FOR JESPER AND INEJ CALLING FOR KAZ

Ngl kinda wanted the fake Kanej kiss for something to edit if nothing else

OH GOD JESPER IS MAKING ME CRY

KAZ BESTIE I FEEL SO BAD

AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL INEJ TOUCHING HIM MADE IT WORSE

KAZ SEEING HER IN THE THING THOUGH INSTEAD OF JORDIE

AND NOW HE HATES HIMSELF EVEN MORE CAUSE HE PULLED AWAY

INEJ YOU SAW SOMETHING

Mal wake up and realise your looking for you

I was about to say slay Inej but she’s not actually doing all that well

Where are Kaz and wylan while them three are getting beaten up?

Omg darkling shut up rn

Honestly feeling for Alina now

Didn’t know it was possible to hate the darkling more than I already did

Oh god Inej

TOLYA I LOVE YOU

OMG JESPER BREAKING IT CAUSE OF HIS MUM

Ahhh there they are

Where’s kaz?

Loving the 3 grisha all using there powers

Slay Baghra my fav arsonist

Baghra is aweosme

She legit just cut off his hand and I love her for it

Okay now she’s looking like something out of infinity war, Harry Potter and deathly hallows part II

OMG KAZ SLAY

HIS WIFE?!

OH DAMN SHES A SAINT

YES HE IS JUST A CHILD THANK YOU FOR POINTING IT OUT

OMG MATTHIAS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Not her like personally attacking all of them I can’t

‘All this just to protect your husband in his sleep’ I don’t think Kaz understood her speech about love

SHE JUST KEEPS HIS DEAD BODY IN A COFFIN?!

He just wanted to see his mum so badly that he didn’t care she was tryna kill him

omg he could not care less about the sword he just wants wylan

WHYS WYLAN ALWAYD TRYNA HIDE HIS SMILE WITH JESPER JUST GRIN PLEASE

AHHH ANOTHER WESPER KISS

So tolya and Jesper are besties now right?!

THE ONE ZOYALAI CRUMB I WILL TAKE IT

Also Nina…darling…when someone sweeps zoya off her feet you won’t be deep in love with Matthias…

KANEJ CRUMBS

THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT PULL YOU OUT

WHY IS HOPE NOW DANGEROUS INEJ?! YOUR SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT KAZ WOULD HAVE LAUGHED AT YOUR OPTIMISM

Another genyalina hug!

Loving how people on this show will say anything BUT I love you to each other

OMG NO HES TALKING ABOUT MARRYING HER IM NOT EVEN THAT MUCH OF A MALINA SHIPPER BUT MY GOD

So this is where the sex scene comes from then

Not him leaving his hand there

I’m so confused what is he doing

OH SHIT WHAT

Damn it now he knows about mal

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers

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arillusionist · 1 year ago

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reaction to the last 3 eps of s&b - im doing it all at once bc i wanna get it over with considering im gonna be rlly sad watching these knowing we'll never get a real ending.

also YES i was heartbroken over the cancellation even tho i hadnt finished the show. im emotionally attached to the books okay!! leave me alone

oh this is the hallucination scene i've heard too much about

the fucking BUTTERFLIES

bye not wylan's overly dramatic ass

"a village boy cut in half by a plow blade" isnt that literally what happened to kaz's dad

"hope is an illusion. a lie" hes such a kaz ripoff

oh i didnt think tolya had a hallucination i've never heard anyone talk about it

whos blood is that im gonna guess tamar

why am i so smart like

if they rush jesper's developement with one hallucination im gonna be mad

what happened i cant tell. he better not have rejected her again or whatever ugh theyre so cute tho

WOW i love how they always go from established relationships to some angsty kanej scene.

love how he doesnt stare at her lovingly or shit hes just fucking glaring she knows her man fr

oh never mind the soft voice is crazy

uh ya i didnt want to make assumptions until now but making inej's hallucation about kaz was Not it.

like in a way ik its about how she wants consent but its mainly so she can leave kaz at the end of the show kaz kaz kaz its always about kaz

this is why we needed the spinoff they couldve FIXED it

"erm they shouldnt have done it wrong in the first place" how righteous of you unfortunately im too emotionally attached to the characters so i wish they had another chance

ok bad choice aside her realizing its not real bc she knows kaz could never be like that or even try is kinda heartbreaking!! 🙂

oh hell no did she eat the fucking butterfly i thought it was the petal at first 🤡

"if you have no one left to fight for" and then cutting to inej aaaa

no the way his eyes softened and the way inej stroked his face w her thumb ... and then he realized

okay thank god cuz for a second i thought the crows were gonna js be dead the entire episode

hes the firebird what the fuck?? (sorry chat i havent finished r&r yet)

why does that kinda downplay malina like knowing that they're meant for each other cuz of destiny or some shit

then again they never had to fall in love just find each other they did the romance part on their own

where tf is kaz

oh what the fuck. this scene is so messed up (Talking abt the one where the darkling is holding baghra)

my laptop's screen time is almost up so i must pause unfortunately. i could watch on my phone but thats boring so

uhm so its been 3 days have i been stalling?? maybe 🙂 can you blame me??

is that old guy her husband?? uh

seeing kaz smile for more than a fleeting one second is so unnatural

oh my god oh my god is her whole speech about love not being a weakness gonna make kaz realize something

wow okay they did rush jesper's development with one hallucination

toyla is the #1 wesper shipper fr ‼️‼️💪🏽

"someday someone is going to sweep you of your feet so hard" haha nikolai

"me and my "slab or fur" will be far away, off the map, deep in love" uh babe i hate to tell you this..

not kaz shaking his head at wesper as if hes not the reason theyre together 💀

see here they go butchering inej's character again!!

like. in the books she realizes she needs to let go of kaz because she finds her purpose - hunting slavers. in this she just realizes it because of some fuckass hallucination which was about him Why Is It Always About Him

cant tell if im slightly relieved that they cancelled the spinoff because they might have ruined her more or more mad that they cancelled it because they couldve fixed it

i am eating the malina angst up 🗣️🗣️(not bc i dont like them i do like them thats why i need them to be sad. all my favorite ships need angst)

ooh he knows he knows abt mal

next episode except i have to sleep so im probably gonna watch like 2 minutes of it. but i'll try to finish this and the last one tmrw because the more i delay it the sadder i get about the cancellation though my brain wants me to believe otherwise

she (the tidemaker girl idk her name) looks so ready to punch him like yeah girl me too

help the grin on that one girls face when he says kill the king

ok 2 minutes r over so bye

and im back its only the next day also the deleted footage oh my god im on the floor?? plus the fact that it got "what business" trending on twitter with 33k tweets is so fucking funny to me

anyways.

bye i jumped when the darkling showed up in mal's room why do the smallest fucking things always scare me

oh ya theyre cousins. alina has a type huh

mal would kinda get along with inej i can feel it!!

wait whos the arm for also david is lwk smooth wow

they keep mentioning the crows but WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY its been almost 20 minutes 😐

why that is the only tamar and nadia moment all season like not that i was expecting more from netflix but Still

oh thats the last line from the book (i havent finished r&r yet but i skipped to the end as i do with every book so. lol 💀)

omg matthias i kinda thought he wouldnt show up again

oh god i feel like this show has such a lighting problem sometimes

its bad enough that i have no idea whats going on in general

INEJ

INEJ I MISSED YOU

she gotta stop bowing down to alina she is as much of a saint

did they kill off david and genya wtf

i have to pause for a bit bc my laptop needs to charge also i still have no idea whats going on

back

no theyre (david and genya) alive yay 🙏🏽🙏🏽

what the fuck is he doing

oh OHH now theyre killing him off. how could they do that to genya

the other crows are here FINALLY

when ur entire onscreen developemnt is literally 5 minutes 😍😍👍🏽👍🏽

no i will not stop being salty about jesper. fuck you

"well if you dont die we dont get paid" shdjfk

zoya inej nina the friendship i needed

wow what a beautiful and touching moment. it feels anticlimatic but okay 🙂‼️😐👍🏽‼️💪🏽🤡🗣️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️😭🙏🏽💪🏽🗣️

oh nvm. i keep forgetting this isnt the last episode

is that a giant CROW

lol of course it isnt

okay now its the last episode :')

"yes my man! oh we havent actually put a label on it" bye that is so jesper of him

oh. wow. she actually did it.

at least inej and zoya are being badass MY GIRLS ‼️‼️

"let me be your monster" stop being such a kaz ripoff please

FINALLY. his villain speech was taking too long

did she use merzost :(

tolya's random ass burst of poetry 💀💀

HE SEES HER

he literally cannot take his eyes off of her

I CANT. I CANT. THEY WANTED TO HUG SO BADLY YOU COULD SEE THE RELIEF IN THEIR EYES KAZ ALMOST SMILED

but she would never know what it was like for him to see nina pull her close watch jesper loop his arm through hers, what it was to stand in doorways and against walls AND KNOW HE COULD NEVER DRAW NEARER

im sick. theyre so sick for this and knowing we'll never get a chance to see them even hold hands. i cant 🙂

they way she moved towards him then moved back killing myself thnx

"five of cro-" bro predicted the ending of ck

not the malina angst too is this show trying to kill me?? i think it is

"i'll claw my way to one. if he'll let me" IM TELLING YOU!! TRYING TO KILL ME

HE LOOKED AT INEJ

SHES HIS HAPPILY EVER AFTER IM SO DONE IM GOING TO THROW MY LAPTOP ON THE FLOOR 😭😭😭😭😭😭

did they kill off david or not omg

i love how the crows just started walking away they were so eager to get out (except nina's lingering glance at zoya)

oh. oh hes going to be to be sturmhond

see hes so much like inej they both leave to the seas to find themselves outside of the person they love because they want a life for theselves and freedom

i reached the text limit imma make a new post

#sab reaction

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jamespottersdaisy · 1 year ago

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YOU LOVE LITTLE WOMEN HAVE I JUST FALLEN MORE IN LOVE WITH YOU AAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE LITTLE WOMEN LET ME KISS YOU

okay so i think that youre a really nice person super kind and smiley and I think I just think of people who study biology that way. and languages because your writing is really beautiful so I thought yeah languages and writing makes sense

and I don't have a major because I'm in senior year but next year I'm going to university and I hope to do a degree in biology quemistry or something related to science. or I might just study history who knows

I read agggtm this summer and it was such an easy read and funny so I might continue the series especially since I won't have much time to invest myself in a new fantasy world with the complex characters and world building. I'm a fantasy book girly till the day I die

and you relate to Jesper. i relate to wylan. seems to me like we were meant to be. and honestly can we all agree that wesper it's just wolfstar in another font

are you going to the eras tour, I don't know if I asked you this but I'm going to london 15 august (I'm gonna listen to august in august and I may as well lay on the floor in a puddle of tears)

ok so, I have read more of your fics. and I think my favourite one it's the james potter one, it got me giggling and kicking my feet like mad. a friend of mine says that he's a red flag in the canon but maybe I'm colorblind who knows. I also read some of the Remus lupin ones too because the taylor swift references title got me to be honest. I don't really like aroon warner as I only read the first book in the shatter me series and I got enough with it, so that one it's not for me, then I like sirius but not in a romantic way so it would be weird for me and Remus more or less the same but I can make an exception for him.

but anyways I might as well read them all because I love you and everything you do

I love this little girl talks we have it's like sending each other letters through mail and answering everything while adding new information

-🌕

I LOVE HISTORY!!! It's just so interesting and beautiful.

and yes!!! you did mention London, surprisingly i managed to remember it as I have a memory of a goldfish

i love fantasy.... but also classics but also JUST BOOKS OKAY I LOVE BOOKS

someone who appreciates james🥹 james potter is my husband like i love him on a whole new level. but my remus fics seem to be liked better

aaron warner ones are the ones that get least interaction, but i still love writing for him. and tbh you either love shatter me or don't read it after the first one, there's literally no middle ground

if you ever do read all my remus ones (which is okay if you dont) tell me your fav one!!

#(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。#🌕 bby

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caspianxth · 1 year ago

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Hi, more thoughts, sorry<3

like yeah i agree that kaz absolutely has a heart, but i think those acts of kindness are mostly reserved for the people he loves, even if wylan is new, you can tell he's already warmed up to him, and i really dont think he'd do something kind just because for someone he feels indifferent to at best, much less someone like a king, and wait omg i just remembered he's friends with sturmhund i take it all back, he would indeed give it up for his friend. and yeah youre right about wesper it was adorable, but i dont know i needed the slow burnnnnn, but yeah given netflix penchant for with gay shit, it was necessary.

And about everything else, yeah it made sense but it was really rushed, especially in s2, and like i get that they have to make everything as fast as they can in case it gets cancelled but im sad about it, but i just really hope malina does meet in the meadow in the end, cause at this point, this show is uncharted territory and completely new and i am so excited for it, and i think that was just setting up for nikolai i bet they will make him all scary later, or at least i hope. But like MERZOST!!!!! ALINA WTF!!! i loved the shadow cut it, like alina i love that youre very powerful but pls try not to turn evil, and like shes heading exactly in the direction the darkling said she would go which is so scary and obvious in a good way i love it. And omg the darkling, like in the books its neither easy to not root for him except maybe when he dies, but here omg, you're telling me he actually felt something for alina and it was not just manipulation!!!

Also Ben Barnes makes it really hard to not be on his side, Alina is waay stronger than me, "Make me your villain", for you? anything, also very simp i loved it, so its okay they omitted a lot of his character and relationship with alina, as they basically made a new one which i like. and about the white hair thing, it was iconic!!! i needed it!! but its okay, also i think the darkling probably experienced some shit associated with his power, but probably never like that cause the only amplifier he used was his mother, and it wasnt until he used merzost he became unstoppable, and it was slowly taking its toll on him, so slowy at first that it might have even been a plot hole, cause later it starts eating him from the inside.

Anyways Ice Court Heist is coming omgomgomgomg im so excited, i cant wait to see something really serious happening with nikolai and alina, and the crows just, just, yeah. i love them. i love jesper and wylan (the characters not their relationship in this instance) so much i could die just thinking about them.

And i think that's all my thoughts until now, I apologize in advance because I WILL think about it more and I WILL bother you about it<3

sturmhond my beloved <3 best of the grishaverse men truly!! also re wesper I love them I'd die for them plus with a tv show I need smth to be happy about and kanej: glacial pace, helnik: slow burn bc of the whole hellgate sitch. like I need smth to be diggin!!! re nikolai, a nichevo'ya is not how he should look and tbh I don't like how they're doing it in the show if that's the angle they take but hopefully I'm wrong. I do think paddy gibson did kill as nikolai like when they let book nikolai pop out? slayed!!! also yeah alina like don't be doin that (merzost) baghra made u promise!! but it is a way better end than her losing all her power and I'm excited to see where they take that, I saw on twitter somewhere that leigh has lots of ideas where to take it if given more so we shall see <3 also w the darkling, like, ok so 1 he is ben barnes so that's a thing bc I've been crushing on him since prince caspian but also!! like the thing is like, he really did love her for a bit there! he had peace when she surprise kissed him!! that's the moment he went right back to in his defeat right before alina mcstabbed him (which he did deserve btw). like the heartbreaking part w darklina is they really could've had it if he'd trusted her!!! but he didn't!!! and that was his greatest weakness!!!!! I do like malina but like, for me it's nikolina >>>>>>>>>> malina sorry. book or show nikolai is just *chef's kiss*. but also re nikolai, zoyalai >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>nikolina. so like, the setup there is also *chef's kiss*.

#asks #kurtcobainsgreencardigan

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much-ado-about-exy · 7 months ago

Text

they asked, and did not wait for an answer. lol.

Violent King Of The Outcasts Kaz + Traumatized Sweetheart Oddball “Just Mixed Up In A Bad Crowd” Inej + ADHD The Likes Of Which Spits In The Face Of Adderall Jesper + Hyper Empathetic Flirty Bisexual Autistic Theater Kid Nina + Slightly Too Into Regimented Martial Arts Matthias + Dyslexic And Definitely Escaping An Abusive Home Life Wylan

-kaz and jesper have been friends since they were roommates freshman year

–they’re both, like, a little strange and jesper decided that kaz needed a friend and kaz decided that jesper needed someone to keep him from literally dying so they stuck together

-jesper is like. one of those extroverts who adopts introverts so when he sees inej sitting alone in the back of the first intro to behavioral psych lecture of their sophomore spring semester wearing all black, he thinks: 1. a new face! 2. she looks like she needs a friend. (3. she looks just the right flavor of withdrawn emo to be besties w/ kaz who probably needs some brooding enrichment that i am not capable of providing)

–imagine his dismay when he brings her to the library with him after lecture to introduce the two and kaz has an episode of such stunningly paralyzing heterosexuality that he’s incapable of even really looking at her. yikes!

-jesper and nina were in the same orientation group freshman year - and were, as a result, in the same 0-credit “welcome to being a college student” class that fall - and bonded over shared love of the following: waffles, snobby pop punk, harassing one kaz brekker.

-back in fall of sophomore year nina was taking organic chem and had to swap lab sessions for a day after missing her own because a stomach bug took her out. this new lab period is home to a matthias helvar, who is capital-h Hot, conscientious, really quite smart, and also a bit of an uptight asshole. nina makes it her personal mission to irritate him into having a little fun for once in his life for christ’s sake. by the time our story starts, matthias has been under nina’s dubious tutelage for a whole semester and has 1. quit rotc, 2. joined her theater, 3. had e-fucking-nough of her bullshit making him question everything in his damn life but also like. has some more questions that he thinks she could answer. yknow. carnally. maybe.

-our sweet boy wylan spends one (1) freshman semester doing his level best to just focus on academics and make his dad happy before realizing that this makes him Fucking Miserable and maybe he should find an extracurricular before he has a menty-b. so right after getting back to school he decides he’s gonna audition for the spring musical, which is where he meets jesper and nina!

–wylan and matthias actually live on the same floor in their dorm, but wylan is shy and matthias is. matthias. so they haven’t really spoken much.

–this is going to change if jesper has anything to say about it because he takes one (1) look at this boy and goes. well. i have no choice but to stan. nina if you dont mind helping me out here i think we can abduct him and fully integrate him into our friend group without anyone ever noticing he was gone.

mmm if i posted notes from my six of crows college au wld u guys read it,,,

#soc #six of crows #rea writes #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #nina zenik #inej ghafa #matthias helvar #etc etc #there’s a plot somewhere in there 🥴#which is 2 say i have outlined a 20k+ fic and now just. have 2 actually write it

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justdaphne · 3 years ago

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How the Crows spend valentines day:

🍫💐 for you 💐🍫 Happy Valentines day!

Wesper:

They are very much attached to each other especially on valentine’s day - well for obvious reasons

“literally let wylan go to the kitchen jesper-“

“SHUT UP KAZ”

literally making out at any given chance and yeah..

i dont think they’re big on giving gifts but they still do it becoz yes

“i love you i love you i love you”

*literally reciting poetry*

“i love you i love you”

wylan writing a song for jesper

they would throw a huge ass party and when i say huge- expect literally rich ppl shit fancy. its jesper cmon.

imagine a wall of flowers. it was there. oh and a whole chocolate fountain

Helnik:

oh my god its basically wesper in a different font

nina takes matthias to a whole different country for valentines day

matching outfits

matthias starts the day with traditions obv: flowers and chocolate. and also he made waffles for nina

nina gets yellow tulips for matthias too

she believes men should also recieve flowers

and they have those cute mornings but when they get up, its a whole splurge

i’d like to imagine them on those romantic boat rides

nah this whole day wasn’t a surprise. it was all planned by nina zenik. what do you expect lmao

“go big or go home am i right”

theyre like the couples you see on instagram on valentines day. nina’s goal is literally to make people jealous

but ofc outside of insta they had a great time

watching the sunset and the moon rising together

Kanej:

theyre chill about valentines day. they dont celebrate

they spend the day as if it was a regular monday

but when the day ends, roof top ‘date’

inej tells kaz another one of her suli proverbs *cough* about love *cough*

okay kaz was panicking the previous days becoz nina jesper wylan and matthias were pressuring him

he did give her geraniums though. surprisingly. for inej. yeah he took their advice but he’s not going to tell them.

they talk and inej smiles and laughs and kaz wants to bottleherlaughagainanditssweethe’smalfunctioningagain

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thedelusionreaderbitch · 3 years ago

Text

Kaz Brekker x gn! Reader - Soul Seer

A/n: This was wayyyy longer than I thought it would be! Also I changed the plot of six of crows and crooked kingdom a bit! Most of it you can get through the fic the only thing is when they go back to get their money back from Jan Van Eck in the first book. Jan doesn't know the Wylan is tailored to look like Kuwei till after that scene later is the one shot!

Request: Hi darling! so i realized your requests are open so i wanted to request a kaz fic? please?<33

where his s/o doesn't go for the ice court heist(their relationship is secret) but all that stuff with Inej ( but he is constantly thinking of y/n) happens and Kaz is feeling really guilty, so he goes and confesses and its all angst and then fluff? no problem if you dont want to do it though, love you<33

p.s- i loved your latest kaz fic!

Warnings: Gore, angst, language, heartbreak, cheating but not acutally cheating? I think that's it? You have been warned!

I do not own shadow and bone/six of crows or it's characters! The gif is also not mine!

He was leaving. Leaving to do a job that he could very well die on. To be fair that wasn't nothing new, but this is breaking into the ice court. No one has done that; ever.

"Love." You barley manage to utter the words as tears fill your eyes and clog your throat.

You wouldn't let him see that though, you didn't want to spend your few moments together that you both had with you crying and him inevitably leaving early because he had no idea what he was doing when it came to that. You did not want these memories to be sad and awkward knowing very well these could be your last.

"You better write to me or I'll have to cuss you out in front of your employs."

A small smile creeps onto his face as he takes your hand with his gloved one.

"Oh really and how will you get there?"

It made sense really, him breaking into the ice court. You were terrified for him, hell half of you was scared that he would finally realize that he could do so much better and leave you. But you knew Kaz wouldn't cheat, and you had faith in him that he could pull off this job. He was Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel! He would need a crew sure, but you knew he would be the one to do it.

You raise your eyebrows at him and you lean in close enough so that your breath fans out across his neck and collarbone. Seeing him visibly take a quick intake of breath makes you smirk as you withdrew not getting any closer as you didn't want to panic him with your touch.

"I have my ways. Ways even Dirtyhands fears."

His laugh surprises you, but it's welcomed nonetheless.

Squeezing your hand and with his other gloved one, he places his hand gently on your cheek as if he were afraid that you would shatter underneath his touch. He was afraid that the darkness had swallowed him whole, and that you would go down with it.

That doesn't happen though and you don't dare to speak as he leans down and places a soft kiss to your lips.

It's scarce, barley there like your words from before. Yet it has so much meaning and love all the same. You realized that you wouldn't trade this man for the world - ever.

When he pulls away, you grab his wrist before he leaves the tears you realized were now pouring silently down your face.

"Come back." You whisper.

"I'll come back home." He doesn't look around the room he's looking right at you.

"I promise."

__________________

Dear Kaz,

I don't know where you are anymore, hell you could be in Shu Han and I wouldn't know! But I suppose that's the point isn't it?

You haven't written to me in quite a while, I know it's probably just the mission but I can't get it out of my head that it's something else. What's on your mind love? Perhaps you've finally fled far away from me and your not even the one reading this letter. That in short terms would suck.

I guess you can't tell me where you are or the details of the job, but I can tell you about my miserable boring days without you can't I? Well, I, after all the pressure that my family and friends have put on me for finding a profession has finally come to a stop. I have decided after many nights awake wondering if this was really what the world wanted me to do; Criminology. Or more exact forensics.

Oh the irony! Though I guess it would help you and the Dregs. If I studied it (got all the Degree's necessary) and was top of my class would you let me join the Dregs? Although I feel like I'm ranting through the ink on this paper. Am I ranting? Anyways back to the point, I would be an unofficial member (obviously) and I could help! You've had the aid of scientists but what about a permanent one?

[Okay, I'm lying to you... I've been studying it for a couple months now... Please don't be mad!]

Kaz Brekker, what am I to do with you? You fill my every waking moment of my mind taking up all the space. I'm thinking about one thing and then I'm thinking about how you would use it or most importantly steal it. I can't get you out of my head, and my life is becoming boring almost. Without your sneaking through my widow each night like we were some innocent Romeo and Juliet. Even if we were far from it.

What I'm trying to say is, that I miss you darling. I miss the way you would laugh, I miss your rare smiles. I miss the way you would look at me like I was the Queen to your King. By the saints I really am a love forsaken fool aren't I!

Come back Kaz, come back to me soon.

Your dearest,

Y/n L/n

Kaz had nearly crumpled the quill in anger.

They had written something long and heart felt and his past letter were of somewhat of the same quality. Yet now he could barely come up with two words more then their name.

The letter they had sent him was carefully placed where no one would see it but him. Saints, just thinking about it made him even more angry at himself. They knew him so well, they knew something was up and they were concerned.

He wasn't even going to think about the profession they choose and how Kaz never really would say yes to that. It was too much danger, and they were already in so much already.

He spots Inej looking off the railing of the ship so he quickly goes to write out a quick response to you giving a half-arsed excuse as to why he couldn't write more before going to talk to the Wraith.

He knew why he was doing this, deep down he knew. And he was ashamed but he was Kaz Brekker. Y/n would never find out and whatever he had with Inej would mean nothing.

Even if he knew that was bullshit.

He went to her anyways.

___________________

Dear Y/n,

I don't have much time to write, but angel, I promise everything is fine. I can't say much more than fine because I am not in Ketterdam scheming my why through the merchers while going to see you in the night and finally feeling at peace.

I'm sorry that I haven't written in a while, everything is just been really busy.

The topic on your job is a topic we should probably talk about in person but I could make some arrangements...

Your dearest,

- Kaz Brekker

Warmly smiling at the mailman you pluck the letter out of his hand and run fast to your apartment to open it. Reading fast and your grin widens but some part of you has noted that the letter is visibly shorter than the last one and that it's left on a questionable note.

But you scolded yourself, Kaz would never cheat! Why would you ever think that! Why would even come close to think about that?!

It was just that he was stressing himself lots and was in danger lots. You could feel it, you couldn't explain it, you just could.

So you got back to writing having faith that he would write something longer next time.

_____________________

Dear Kaz,

How are you? Your last letter that you sent me was... Saints I don't remember when it was.

I've been counting how many letters I have written for you over the past weeks and the count is at 46. Only 21 have gotten to you, the others I burned or are locked away safe from prying eyes. Remember how many letters you've sent me? Why don't you guess? 9, you have sent me 9 letters.

Oh dear, now I sound pissed and a tiny part of me is. But there's another part of me that says your just busy, and another that says you've gotten bored of me. Goddess it just makes me sad is all... I pray this isn't true, and I pray that you'll come home soon.

At least write to me Kaz, or I don't know if can take writing to you anymore without getting a response. Please, I just want to know that you are okay and safe.

Your dearest,

Y/n L/n

Kaz was an idiot. He ignored his lover because he felt guilty. And sure, not all the letters that they sent him he would be able to respond to, they both knew that. But nine letters? When they've written twenty-one!

Ignoring the letters was hard, and the entire reason for it was because of Inej. She just was- She was different from Y/n, Y/n had no experience in the barrel, about the things he had to go through. Whether Inej well... She just understood.

She could understand what it was like to not be able to touch people, (he had barley been able to kiss Y/n and they basically just brushed their lips together.) It was a comfort, but it was a drug. He tried to break the cycle but he was overly and fully addicted.

He knew that he wasn't in love with Inej, the same thing with how you would never need a drug. But it was a comfort, it just felt so... Safe.

So when he stood beside Inej again when his ship was coming back to Ketterdam he thought of them. Yet it wasn't enough and he'd never felt more dirtier than he had ever had in his life.

"Stay. Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me."

"What would be the point?"

Her dark moons stare up at him with a fierce but tired gaze.

In a felting moment he wanted that girl more than anything. He wanted to touch her, he wanted to stroke her hair, he wanted her as a whole.

"I want you to stay. I want you to... I want you."

She squeezed his hand and that's when he knew he'd regret everything.

"You want me." Inej turned to look at him fully and she no longer looked beautiful when the moonlight shined on her a certain way. No, she looked beautiful but in a sinful way. As if saying; 'stay away.'

"And how will you have me, Kaz?"

She repeated her statement again but it was flowing through his head because all he could think about was Y/n. Y/n in their fierce nature, Y/n in their innocent, their kindness, their will.

The way they could look at one of his plans (because yes he did show them to them) and they could reshape the whole thing making it ten times more better. Y/n who wouldn't stand for his shit. So he turned his back on the drug.

"I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.

And when the Wraith confidently says those words he doesn't turn back to her he walks away knowing that he could never let is armor down for Inej. And knowing that he, had a letter to write.

________________________________

Dear Y/n,

There's so much I haven't told you, and probably won't tell you till I'm back. But I will fill you in on the majority and hope you can forgive me when I get back to you.

I haven't been honest, or fair to you. I have been a real asshole actually, a terrible lover for you deserve someone better. Someone who does not fall so quickly to the addiction.

Where do I begin? Well the first thing I ought to add would be nothing happened between this person and I, but it still made a difference. Inej Ghafa is the addiction.

I just felt like she understood what I was going through because she has the same problem that I do with touch. It was just so... Nice. To have someone who could understand what it was like to be able to touch someone and get a sickness that seems incurable. Of course when I touch you though it doesn't always feel that way, and I was a fool to not notice the signs.

We held hands, I told her I wanted her to stay with me in Ketterdam. I told her... I told her I wanted her. And guess what she told me? She told me she would have me without armor, or not at all.

Only, I can solely do that with you. No one else.

I walked away after she told me that, because in that moment I realized she was a drug, a comfort. Something that wasn't pushing me, it was safe. Angel, you are everything but that.

I love you, and Saints I won't tell you how sorry I am because that won't fix anything. I can only state the facts and how I feel. I love you, I'm in love with you. I never loved Inej, and I never fell in love with her. I think I just liked the idea.

Dirtyhands doesn't pray nor hold hope, but for you it's worth it because I might be able to keep you in my life.

Your dearest,

- Kaz Brekker

The letter was a shock.

You couldn't help but think about it over and over again. Well, you didn't really know what to think of it really. On one hand you could feel his emotions, on the other hand what he did... He may not have cheated on you but it felt like he betrayed your trust.

He did betray you.

After many sleepless nights, your anger had finally burnt out and your head was clear. You wouldn't break up with him, no. You would though, talk about how he didn't feel understood. Obviously some communicating skills were lacking, and perhaps you would take some time to fully trust him again. But you didn't want to lose him.

But it if it came down to it... You knew you would have to make a difficult decision.

So it was an even bigger shock when someone knocked on your door, in the middle of the goddamn night.

You grab the gun that's hidden in a desk drawer. You might not have been part of the barrel but you were Kaz Brekker's significant other. You had to be prepared.

Besides, it was mandatory for the course you were taking to be trained with the use of guns.

Creeping up to the door you slam it open hiding the gun behind your back only to find one of Kaz's employees. Jesper, you think his name was?

"Kaz said to come get you." He said in his distressed state.

What the fuck had happened?

_________________________

"Can we even trust them." You hear a feminine voice whisper behind the door Jesper had finally led you to.

"I don't know..." A more masculine and stern like a solider that's been trained in the military states.

"Kaz said to get them. Trust this at least." You hear a voice call out over everyone else.

At that last very cheerful note you open the door walking through and you wish you could've said that you were emotionless. You wish you could've said you were prancing on in. You didn't do any of those things you walked through the doorway like a normal person who looked slightly concerned.

That's all you could conceal, you weren't very good at it but after begging Kaz to teach you, you've gotten better. Not extremely good, but not terrible either.

No one seemed to know what to do next, so you sighed and offered up your name even though they probably already knew it.

"I'm Y/n." You voice sounds hollow but it has some spirit and determination in it that gains the Crows attention.

"And lets get to the situation at hand and we can do the rest of the introductions on the way."

Finally you break the ice as a girl with darker hair, wearing all black clothes, and knives strapped to her body smiles gently at you.

Looking at you slyly she mutters three words:

"I like her."

_____________________

So Kaz was coned out of his own money but managed to not give him Kuwei Yul-Bo. He knew something like this would happen so he held some of the cards in his hand back instead of playing them. Smart, but not smart enough.

And now Jan Van Eck was doing whatever the hell he could to break Kaz. Knowing he would never be able to break Kaz's resolve gave you some hope and a terrified revelation.

Kaz would never break so Van Eck would keep on torturing him. The need to get him back was increased by this.

Looking to the girl on your right, the one with all the knives, you turn to her to show her a part of your plan. She nods a couple times pointing out a few things but overall it looks like she's impressed.

"I just realized that I know everyone else's names but not yours." You state as you start working on some more details with the more information that was given to you.

"Inej." She says simply but the name alone makes your eyes widen and your back straightens just a bit.

Inej. The girl that Kaz had betrayed your trust with. Yet at you gaze at her you don't blame her. That was on Kaz, and Kaz alone. She didn't know you two are together, nor does she know now. You didn't want to hate her because of Kaz, no. You're going to preserve the friendship she have with her already.

So instead of accusing her you smile at her.

"Ah, I think Kaz mentioned you once or twice."

"He did?"

"Yes but at the time I didn't know you were part of the ice court heist."

At these words everyone in the room goes silent and turns to look at you in favor of your conversation with Inej than their own.

"What were you to Kaz?" Nina asks slowly as if she was afraid to ask the question.

"We're close." Is all you say because you glance at Inej who is beside you and decide that's the best answer for now.

You go back to planing and an idea suddenly pops up into your head and you slap yourself for not realizing earlier.

"I think I know how to get Kaz back.

_______________________

Inej and Kuwei stand at the point of exchange. Of course it isn't really Kuwei, it's Wylan but they don't know that. You whisper a short thanks to the saints that Kaz had thought of tailoring Wylan to look like the Yul-Bo boy, before you do your task at hand.

While the fake exchange was happening outside, Nina and Matthias would be setting off a distraction bomb to buy some time, and Jesper would be setting up another distraction not too far away, but far enough so he could distract the Stadwatch. Then he would quickly and (hopefully) get back on time to get into the building protecting you and Kaz as you both would get out of the building. Just in case.

And you were going to sneak inside and get Kaz.

You were no Inej, you were no solider, you were no Crow, hell you weren't even part of the Dregs. But in reality it made the most sense, Van Eck didn't know you and if worse comes to worse you could just say you were at the wrong building as you had just finished your schooling getting into a new job.

You knew how to use a gun, Inej had taught you how to stay hidden, Matthias had taught how to seem intimidating during a fight, Nina had taught you the art of distraction, Jesper had taught how to shoot your gun with better aim, and Wylan had taught you how to be strong.

Of course you were no master at any of these things, but it was still some where to start. You could do this, you had to do this.

Come on Y/n! Be brave.

'Okay, let's go!' You say to yourself mentally as you enter the house... Through the backdoor.

Walking slowly though the building you decided that's your best bet to stay out of sight. Doing everything too fast would gain too much attention, and you had to put thought into every movement. Every step. No matter how much you wanted to get Kaz back.

When you finally get to the door where you know Kaz is held you take a deep breath looking around and praying that Jesper would be here on time before opening the door.

Immediately as you open the door a crack you see him.

He's tied to a chair and part of you is wondering why he wasn't out of his bonds yet. His head is hanging low and you see some dried up blood here and there but nothing too bad.

Yet. A voice whispers in your ear.

"Kaz." You dare to whisper even though you fear that someone may hear you outside the door, but your doing it anyways.

His head instantly snaps up to meet your gaze as his hardened expression turns soft and you can see all the pain he's truly in.

"You're here." He rasps, his voice hoarse filling with disbelief and that's what causes you to speed up towards him.

As you come closer to him you soon realize that his bad leg is twisted to the wrong side. You wince but you go behind him to untie his bonds nonetheless.

"No!" He whisper-yells in pain as you go to tug on them only comprehend that his hands were destroyed.

Kaz's fingers were twisted at ugly angles that no finger should be able to twist to. His wrists were snapped, his finger nails torn off. Dripping down from them is blood as lots of the skin on his hands are shredded to pieces as there's a word craved into them:

'Dirtyhands.'

Holy shit.

"Kaz." You gasp but you know there isn't much time left and you still have to get him out of the building.

So you grab a knife that Inej had lent to you and you cut the rope holding him to the chair.

"Can you stand?" You manage to breath out and he goes to stand up only to start wobbling. Quickly you take a step closer and warp an arm around his waist - you know it may not be the best for his trauma but you want to get out of here with him alive.

Kaz struggles against your hold obviously uncomfortable with the touch and the skin on skin contact.

"Please." He barley manages to beg with his strained voice.

"Please, make it stop."

Knowing you can't let go of him because there's no way he can walk, you try and make as much space between the two of you as possible.

"Come on love, we have to move."

At the word 'love' his eyes snap to yours and everything that's happened seems to register to him and he nods his head and you know that you can start heading back.

"Damn it Jesper!" You cruse under your breath as you hear shots ringing throughout the structure.

A bullet whips past your ear, and nearly hits Kaz in the head but he ducks right in time. Pulling out your own gun you look for the person who was shooting at you, however you can't find them.

"Fuck."

The only thing you can do is start moving.

So you try and run through the place without hurting Kaz too much (although he looked like he was going to pass out,) and with your gun in your other hand just in case.

Right when you open the door to start running like you've never had in your life Jesper starts barreling towards you both, with Kaz's gloves and cane in hand.

He doesn't hand them to him though, not yet at least. No, he takes out one of his pistols and looks around and shoots. You hear something drop to the floor and you internally sigh in relief knowing you probably wouldn't have to kill anyone tonight. Before Jesper can fully give Kaz his possessions he gasps looking at Kaz's hands, and leg.

"Boss!" He gasps.

Suddenly though, before he can go on, Nina's and Matthias's bomb goes off in the distance and you know that's your queue.

"That's are queue! We have to start fucking running!" You yell at your boyfriend and the sharpshooter.

Jesper takes off, as you start running with Kaz.

You both make it far enough, far enough to be out of everyone's sight for now. Yet you weren't at your meeting point yet - your apartment.

"Come on Kaz." You say softly but with strength because you generally believe he can do this, he has to do this.

"I can't even breathe properly! I can't!"

Kaz's eyes gleam under the moonlight, and they're tired, oh so tired. And they had so much pain in them.

"Can we try walking?"

Nodding, you both start to walk with your arm still around his waist to support some of his weight. The only thing making noise is the noise of Ketterdam, and Kaz's heavy breathing that was making you worry quite a bit.

"I'm sorry." He speaks out of no where.

Glancing upwards you spot your apartment. Nearly there.

"I'm not talking about this."

He looks at you with intense orbs. Your breath seems to be lost and you've arrived at your apartment before you thought you would.

"We have to talk about it at some point." He mumbles.

"We shouldn't talk about that right now." You open the door to your apartment and you all but push Kaz towards the bed.

"Rest, and I'll get Nina and hopefully some other healers."

You're out the door before he can even utter 'stay.'

______________________________

"How is he?" You whisper to Nina.

She sighs before getting some more bandages from the cabinet.

"His leg will heal, he'll have to relearn how to walk again. Though I don't doubt he'll have to much trouble with that." She pauses for a second seemingly struggling with what she wants to say next, it was almost as if she was arguing with herself.

"His hands well... They will heal, and because of the healers we got in here he won't have to relearn anything. He'll always be the big bad Dirtyhands. His wrists were healed by the healers, and everything big on his hand were too but the skins still a mess. The scars... Those will never disappear."

"What does it matter to you anyways?"

You look at her coldly before replying; "None of your business." Then you stalk off, not to go to Kaz, but to go find Inej.

___________________________

The night sky of Ketterdam is just black. There's no stars that gleam out from beneath the smog, there's none of those blueish-gray darkening sky, it's either a smoggy morning, or a smoggy night.

The moon barley gleams from beneath it all, but when it does it seems to have a purpose, and today it leads you to Inej.

Finding her on the roof of your apartment isn't very surprising - even if you hadn't know her for very long. The dim moonlight guides your way towards her as you climb the ladder of the side of the complex, finally reaching the top.

"Do you believe in saints Y/n?" Her voice floats above the smog and a part of you could imagine why Kaz would want her. But the other part of you realize's what he said in his letter was true - you could see it plainly written on his face when he told you he was sorry.

"No, not really." You pause thinking on what your going to say next knowing your words will not be taken lightly, and could change everything.

"But I do believe in different things."

You go and sit beside her on the edge.

"I believe that the moon tells the truth, and as does the sun. I believe that no one has one propose, and we must find it ourselves. I believe in redemption, in the understanding of others, even if we ourselves cannot comprehend."

She looks at you with her head tiled sightly to the side. The moonlight simmers down on her making her dark eyes light up in a sort of golden color.

"Your a good person Y/n, too good of a person for this world."

"As you are."

She laughs and the light that surrounds her doesn't go away. It stays as if urging you to go, to tell her the truth.

"I'm not a good person, I've killed. Good and bad people."

"I don't think people should be based on one thing. As I also think that the definition of a good person is different from the one I have than yours."

"I think that nearly everyone has some form of light in them. No matter how monstrous they are, Kaz does."

You turn to look at her right in the eyes not backing down with the next few things that you had to say.

"You are full of light Inej, whether you like it or not."

You both sit there in silence for some time before she speaks up again.

"Soul Seer." She whispers.

"Because you can see right through people to their souls. But you also wear your own heart on your wrist."

"You are good for Kaz Soul Seer, don't give up on him."

And then she leaped through the air disappearing into the night.

______________________________

Staring at the door is much better than the actual confrontation. It's not very effective per say, but it insures that no one gets hurt, and even better, it makes it so you don't even have to do the whole confrontation thing in the first place. Fantastic.

Never-less, staring at the door isn't going to help you, and you know if you don't eventually go in and visit Kaz (while he's not asleep, because that doesn't count!) Nothing will change, nothing will be talked about, you'll only have the abyss of the letters to comfort you. And that will never be enough, or okay. You both had to figure this out.

So you open the door.

Surprisingly he's not at your tiny desk that you have in your room, no. Instead he's by the window, which is on the opposite side of the room, and he's sitting in a chair reading a book.

You squint your eyes and you find that the title of the book is; 'Pride & Prejudice.'

"Jane Austen? I didn't know you were a fan of the classics." Your voice is pretty cheerful, and it even has a teasing tone to it.

But Kaz doesn't look up to met your eyes, he keeps looking down at his book. You're sure he isn't actually reading anymore, but he's good at convincing you he is.

"So you finally decided to come talk did you." The phrase sounds like a question but they way he says it sounds more like he's belittling you.

"Don't. Don't do that! You don't get to sound all high and mighty when you're the one who fucked up!"

He snaps his head to look at you and for the first time you could feel the hard and cold pain that he held in his eyes.

"That's what you think! That's I just wanted to fuck up! By the saints Y/n, that's not exactly what I want to do! I know I fucked up, but just know that we- us. I didn't want to break that, and that's the first thing in a long time that I hadn't felt the need to destroy but to protect instead."

"Than why did you?"

He sighs and he runs a hand through his hair.

"Because I wanted for a split second someone who could understand. I know that's selfish but I didn't care. I just wanted..." He trails of looking to the side.

"Then you have to talk to me! Communication, isn't our strongest point in our relationship, but we were getting better! Or at least I thought we were... But if you were or are feeling like that Kaz you have to talk to me or else we're not going to get anywhere."

You pause, before going into what your going to say next.

"And we both know that wasn't the only reason." You whisper softly, as his eyes bore into yours.

"You told her you wanted her to stay." Your eyes fill up with tears.

"And I'm stupid because if maybe you'd just held her hand, maybe just maybe I would have forgiven you right away! Because I really don't care if you held hands with her! I care that you asked her to stay. I don't think... I don't think you've ever asked that of me."

The air is thick as you stare at him and all the pent up frustration, and sorrow that you've had to endure dawn on Kaz as tears streak down your face dripping onto the floor.

"She was like a drug, an addiction. I think some part of me fell in love with the idea of loving her. Even if I couldn't."

"Oh." You whisper as this time it's him staring at you intently waiting for your response.

So you go into the tiny bathroom connected to your room, and you come back wordlessly with new fresh bandages and some numbing for his leg. Then you sit on the bed next to him but not too close, as you slowly drape your hand over his softly.

"How's your hands?"

And in that moment Kaz had known that you'd forgiven him, and in that moment he knew that he'd never take a long heist like the one he just did before because to him you were home.

Words 5710

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover @brekker-zenik @alohastitch0626 @ilovemarvelanne1 @emmsamultifan06

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luna-writes-stuff · 3 years ago

Note

Jespers s/o being an artist/painter?? 👀💅

Painter s/o, Jesper Fahey

thank you for granting me the opportunity to self project onto a request😌🤌

Headcanons, gender neutral pronouns

Tw: shameless self projecting onto a request, sorry not sorry❤️ (also a bit of language)

- Honestly, very impressed???? He won’t stop asking you questions about it, like “How did you do that so quickly?” or “Where did you learn to paint that?” or “Are you painting from the top of your head or from a view?”

- He wants to know so much, but it’s adorable.

- He has very steady hands (obviously), so if he wanted to, he could very easily learn how to paint. You tried to teach him once, but he has no patience when it comes to the drying process. He tried painting over the canvas too quickly after one layer and everything got mixed up in the colors and it was no longer clear what it was. Poor boy got so frustrated he would never paint again.

- But that’s fine. He’s content just watching you (if you let him, because painting under a pair of eyes is very intimidating.)

- And besides, when you have to wait for paint to dry, Jesper sees it as a perfect moment to wrap you in a giant hug, not letting go of you for a while.

- Another thing he loves when you’re waiting for the paint to dry, is when you paint his hands. You have a tiny brush specifically for that. Whatever color you have left on your palet is used to draw little lines and marks on his hands. It’s very soothing for the both of you.

- Jesper loves the tickling of the brush and the cold paint, while you’re happy painting whatever you want on his hand. It’s therapeutic, really.

- Bouncing back on my earlier hickey request; this man will definitely walk up behind you while you’re painting and just place hickeys along your neck. It’s very distracting.

- Will also surprise you with small gifts for your paintings once in a while. He knows how expensive everything is, but he keeps a close eye on all the products you have and what you’re running out of. So before you can even think of getting new paint or brushes etc. he had already gotten them for you.

- You insisted that he doesn’t have to do that (because paint is fucking expensive, and fOR WHAT???) (DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PRICES FOR GOOD BRUSHES)

- You appreciate it, though. You never mention to him what you need, he just knows it. It’s really cute that he keeps track of these things.

- Sometimes buys paintings from you or pays for a commission. He has three of your paintings in his room already. He even convinced Kaz to hang one of your biggest works in the bar, so it’s pretty special to him.

- Speaking about Kaz: The crows also love your work! Nina and Wylan have no issue praising you for whatever. Matthias often drops in a “This is so beautiful!”, while Inej drops compliments like “You must’ve worked so hard for this! Great job.”

- Kaz is Kaz. He doesn’t really express much for it, but he sometimes sneaks in a small “I like it.”. He also has a great eye for art, although hidden. Sometimes, when you’re busy, he’ll try to advice you thing such as “I think Bordeaux Red would look better on that than Blue.” You can’t tell anyone though, or Kaz’ll cut your hands off.

- Plus, he agreed on hanging your painting in the bar, so that must count for something.

- Jesper often buys cute postcards with a pretty background, dropping them off at your place. You have a box filled with postcards he gave you over the years. It’s really helpful, because many of these postcards give you get some sort of reality in how to paint complicated things (mountains, rivers, clouds etc.)

- Overall really supportive and proud of you. Can’t stop bragging about your art in front of others. He had no shame. Not even when you took him to a museum. Will walk up to random people and say “That’s cool and all, but they can do it even better.”

- Has insulted a lot of art fanatics with remarks like this, so please, pay close attention to him or don’t take him to musea at all.

#jesper fahey #soc #six of crows #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone #grishaverse #leigh bargudo #crooked kingdom #kit young #jesper fahey x reader

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yesimwriting · 4 years ago

Text

YALL WHAT SHOULD I WRITE FIRST

Okay!! so both of these are coming at some point!! i have some requests i’ve been working on and i’ve also been working on my original novel (that i hope to get published one day) but i really want to start working on one of my fairytale retellings/AUs(technically not more AU than a regular fic lol)/whatever you want to call them.

But i can’t pick which one to do first!!

- Beauty and the Beast retelling

-Darkling/General Kirigan x reader currently,, but i’m willing to listen to arguments for making this more SOC based and Kaz Brekker x reader, but i think the beauty and the beast theme works better for more SAB based story

- currently focuses on the reader agreeing to take someone’s place as General Kirigan’s prisoner/someone that has to work for him

- I think the plot is going to focus on the reader being a powerful grisha which is part of the reason he took her (like a strong heartrender that can manipulate emotions really precisely,, still unsure if i’d rather her be just human)

- the reader is low key really impressed with the Little Palace bc she grew up in poverty but she’s trying really hard not to be

- the (slight) AU part is that Kirigan needs someone of ‘pure heart’ to fall for the person beneath the darkness to unlock more power than ever bc of an ancient curse (and the person of ‘pure heart’ is the reader bc she has no ulterior motive to like him)

- but then he’s like!! i like her--oh no i like her

- i see Genya as mrs potts lowkey like she knows that Kirigan wants to win the reader’s love and she’s like trying to help lol

- Alina lowkey hyping up their connection

- Reader being all sunshiney and a sweetheart who is literally immune to Kirigan’s angst

- enemies to lovers excellence

- jealous kirigan,, jealous kirigan,,, jealous kirigan

- protective boyfriend vibes wayyy before they start dating lmao

- honestly a lot of acting cute together but still being like ‘i hate u’

- Anastasia retelling

- Kaz Brekker x reader

- based lowkey more on the musical than the disney movie (the only real difference in the musical is that someone thinks about killing Anastasia for the Russian revolution)

- the plot would focus on the return of annual rumors of a princess that might have survived a massacre at the palace

- i would create my own country in the grishaverse for the reader to be the princess of so that i can give it the history i need for my story

- so you know how in Anastasia Dimitri worked at the palace and he saved Anastasia?? my idea for this one is that the Dregs were hired to kill the royal family that the reader is a part of and bc of what he considers a lapse of judgement, Kaz helps the reader escape bc she was the youngest there and they had an interaction that like tugged at him

- anywayssss.... fast forward years later and Kaz is as hardened as he is in the SOC books, he thinks that the princess he helped died anyways bc he saw her run off in the wrong direction

- but!! the princess’s royal grandmother is still looking for her and this year she’s offering more kruge than ever for the return of her missing granddaughter

- Kaz runs into the reader after she tries to pickpocket him and when he realizes that she’s an orphan that looks enough like Anastasia (same hair color, same eye color, etc) with amnesia he’s like ‘it’s perfect’

- the reader is like ?? i don’t know any royal traditions or anything about the royal family,, and also im indentured to this guy who is not going to like this

- and Kaz is like don’t worry about that guy

- the reader is like ?? don’t worry--

- and he’s like yeahh,, i’ll pull some strings (he’s not really pulling strings, he’s paying for her time but he would never tell the reader that bc it makes her seem valuable and no one wants their time ‘purchased’)

- and then princess training starts!! the reader has to study on family history through textbooks but she still has like no formal etiquette skills and Kaz is like ‘i have a merchling that was part of high society, he can teach you table manners’

- Wylan is like you have a what now?? and Kaz is like shut up

- the reader agrees obviously bc Kaz is like i could kill you,, you did try to steal from me, but he’s also like ‘if you’re made a princess you can pay off your indenture and the indentures of your friends’

- lots of the crows being best friends with the reader in this one

- the reader is a gifted medic but touching blood makes her feel ill bc of trauma

- im thinking of making her a tailor to explain why she brought in so much money for the people she worked for (because she could make herself look like anyone’s type) but im thinking that subplot might complicate things but i do want her to be grisha so maybe a squaller?? idk

- throughout the story im going to have Kaz think about how he lowkey regrets letting the girl go at the beginning bc it’s an unfinished job technically and bc the family was evil and they did bad by their people

- reader realizes that she’s been romanticizing this family and that theyre actually bad and she’d rather just stay with the crows

- kaz realizes he wants the reader to stay

- both being too prideful to say anything until the reader is like ‘screw it’ but before she can tell kaz (the night before her coronation) kaz is like pls tell me you don’t think you’re her and the reader is like i said i wouldn’t lie to you

- and kaz is genuinely considering killing her to like finish what was started and bc he really hates that family (i’ll explain why he hates the family in the fic lol)

- enemies to lovers bc it’s my favorite,,

- a lot of everyone being confused on how the reader is allowed to get away with half the stuff kaz allows and then whenever anyone is like YALL ARE ACTING LIKE A COUPLE the reader is like ??this is just how i act? and everyones like YEAH BUT KAZ DOESNT LET PEOPLE ACT LIKE THAT

- and kaz is like i literally dont know what ur talking about i yelled at her this morning,, i promise i did, it’s not my fault u didn’t see it--i totally yelle--

yall i lowkey want to write both of these NOW but i need to learn impulse control pls,, help lol

AND I DIDNT EVEN TELL YALL ABOUT MY TANGLED OR HADES&PERSEPHONE RETELLING IDEAS MUAHAHAHA PLS SOMEONE MAKE ME STOP IM SUCH A SIMP FOR RETELLINGS

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