#wtf was with that terrifying blue thing. 'youre not perfect' at least I have ARMS ASHHOLE ive always hated that thing

[chickencat8]

Checkered Past really aired the last two episodes of Courage to target me specifically

[launchsteinward]

This is for the MB challenge by @somebodyalreadytookthis2

Tuesday:

By Moonlight

Once upon a time...

There was a Hero. There he stood, infront of his greatest challenge yet. Bravery and determination burning in his eyes.

His companion stood by him, a flicker of mischief in his smirk.

"Let's go"

Ignoring the dark flowers in full bloom, the duo snuck upto the castle under the cover of darkness: guided by moonlight.

Quietly but surely, the duo snuck into the castle through the back door which had conveniently been left open.

-And so, their journey to save the prince and kill the Demon king began.

___________________________________________

He slowly opened his eyes, a headache pounding against his skull. "W-where am I?"

The prince growled in annoyance as he racked his throbbing (nonexistent) brain for awnsers. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness of what appeared to be a rather well kept cobble stone dungeon, he decided that it was time to leave.

With a small grunt, he pulled at the chains chaining him to the wall: the chains instantly snapping with a loud 'SNAP!'

___________________________________________

"AHHH- F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#-"

"You sure you dont need help, Cross?"

Blue asked, eyebrow cocked and leaning against the castle wall. Cross ran, dodging attacks for the 13th time. Yes. He had actually died to this demon grunt 12 times and this was his 13th time fighting it.

"NO IM FIN- SH#T-"

'As amusing as this is, This has gone on long enough' mentally sighing for the XX time, he summoned his makeshift sword and ran forward. In one swift motion he stabbed the demon in its eye and cut a huge gash in its face. Soon enough, the demon dissolved into a pile of dust.

*you gained XXX exp.

*The rest of your party gained exp due to XP

share.

*you gained 37 gold

"...How-"

"That was a Swiggityswooty, Idiot. Their weak points are their eyes."

Blue stated

"..I knew that"

Cross grumbled before stalking off as though he was sulking.

"Alright" Blue smirked, amusement lacing his voice causing Cross to pout even more.

It was almost cute in a way.

___________________________________________

The Guards looked at each other. So the loud snap wasnt just their imagination. Nodding to each other: a silent message being exchanged, the pair if Demons held their spears and approached the cell carefully.

According to their lord this was one of their most dangerous prisoners yet, and they had to be very careful when approaching them. One motioned towards the steel door and the other turned the key, slowly and silently.

"STOP WHATEVER YOUR DOING AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR"

They burst into the cell, spears pointed outwards as they stood back to back. They looked around the cell, only to find it empty.

The two demons eyes widened. One stood up from his crouched position and approached the broken chains while the other pulled out his walkie talkie.

A pair of golden eyes glistened in the corner above the door.

Before the guard could even turn on the device, he was knocked out, head smashing against the stone cold floor.

The other guard turned around as fast as he could at the sound of the thump. He saw a dark figure look at him. Gold eyes where the last thing he saw.

___________________________________________

Dream rubbed his hands on his pants, smearing a purple substance all over it. Did he care? No.

He was very slightly irritated that one of the guards had ripped the sleeve off his shit, making one of his arms completely visible. His blood lust gauge was a quarter way full and he hadn't lost any of his stamina. He was ready to kick some demon ass.

Quickly, he reached into a small secret pocket on the inside of his boots. From it- he pulled out a small black tube. After unscrewing it, he looked at his reflection in the (now unconscious) guard's armour. Carefully with a steady hand, he drew across his eye perfecting his eyeliner.

Now- He was ready to kick some demon ass.

___________________________________________

"WTF is that!"

Cross screeched clinging onto Blue and pointing at the demon they had just come aCross. Said demon was black with white spots- or was it the other way around? No matter. It had two golden horns and eminated a terrifying low howl: MOOOOOO-

Cross screamed once again, pulling himself closer to Blue. Blue tried to hold back his laughter as he looked upon the so called beast that struck such fear in the great hero.

A cow demon. One of the weakest types of demons there is. Even Blue knew that someone as 'bright' as Cross could take on this demon with ease.

Blue held Cross in a comforting manner as he contemplated killing the demon himself- or letting Cross kill the demon himself and get over this seemingly ridiculous fear of his.

As Blue was hung up between these choices, Cross pulled himself closer to Blue, fear prowling his mind and looking for some sort of protection from this foul monstrosity of a demon.

Neither seemed to notice the demon dissolving into a poof of smoke and a purple clad skeleton approaching them curiously.

"Umm.. hi?"

Both Blue and Cross jumped at the appearance of the new skeleton.

Cross quickly scampering out of Blue's hold: cheekbones red in embarrassment.

After collecting himself, Cross eyed the newcomer: taking in his royal purple clothes and golden crown. His eyes widened and he froze as he realized the stranger matched the princes description perfectly.

Cross was brought back to reality by Blue's voice.

"- yeah, strange you wouldn't know where you are. The Demon King's castle isn't really a forgettable place. I'm Blue by the way. The monochrome guy is Cross."

Blue shrugged pointing his thumb back at Cross.

"I- I'm Nightmare. It's a pleasure to meet you, Blue and Cross" The skeleton: now dubbed as Nightmare said giving a bow.

"What's with the formality? Theres no need for it here. We're all friends right?" Blue said giving Nightmare a pat on the shoulder.

'YOU CANT DO THAT TO A PRINCE BLUE!' Cross mentally gasped in horror, the tables turning for a brief moment in time.

"O-oh. I see.I-if you don't mind me asking, w-what are you two doing here?" Nightmare asked, tilting his head in a questionable manner.

"Actually we're here on a mission. You see, I'm a hero and we were sent to kill the demon king and rescue the kidnapped prince" Cross decided to speak up.

"A-actually I'm a prince." Nightmare whispered hesitantly.

"SWEET! That's one thing down. Guess we're going to have to find the Demon King next" Cross said excitedly taking off ina random direction.

'So we're not going to question how he got free in the first place?... seems legit' Blue thought.

Nightmare looked in the direction Cross went before looking at Blue quizzically. "...is he allways like this?"

"I'm afraid so. Just roll with it."

___________________________________________

Dream walked through yet another hall. He had no idea where he was and when he tried to threaten ask any demon he came across after beating them up, they would faint before they could even spit out a word. It was frustrating to say the least.

'Why isnt there an exit sign?' Dream mentally grumbled stopping as he heard something. Quietly but swiftly he made his way forward: making sure to stay unseen in the shadows. The sound of humming seemed to get louder as he saw a figure, cruising their way down the hall in the direction he was going. Not thinking much of it, Dream ran forward and pinned the figure below him, his elbow to the others throat.

It was only then that the prince got a good look at the person under him. Surprisingly, it wasnt a demon, but a skeleton monster. Clad in maroon clothes: an assortment of charms hanging off his neck as well as a pointy hat, Dream could only assume that he was a spell caster. That or a witch.

The stranger sneezed: sort like a kitten, eyelights changing shape and colour as he did so. 'Strange.' Dream thought to himself before noticing a rainbow hue on the strangers cheekbones.

"U-uh, hi? You gonna get off me or...? not that I mind" The stranger said, mumbling the last part so that Dream couldn't hear.

"Oh- yeah, sorry about that. Thought you were another demon scum." Dream said getting off and helping the stranger up.

"Its fine- I'm Ink if you wanted to know or- if not. You're Dream right?" Ink said eyes changing shape once again.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Dream said immediately on guard again.

"Oh, c'mon. Your a prince. Of course I know who you are. That and they won't stop yelling about it" Ink once gain mumbled he last part.

"What was that?" Dream asked, guard dropping a bit at the logical reasoning Ink had presented him.

"Nothing" Ink quickly shook his head before mumbling again, quieter than last time: "shut up guys, your getting really noisy"

Dream shrugged before realizing the whole purpose of this encounter. "By any chance, do you know where we are exactly?"

"In the west wing of the Demon Kings Castle, last I checked." Ink shrugged pulling out an odd looking staff from his inventory.

"I see. Where's the exit?" Dream questioned earning another shrug from the smaller. "In the north wing I suppose"

"And which way is the north wing?" Dream sounded exasperated. "That way." Ink said pointing his staff towards the hall Dream just came from. Dream groaned in annoyance before picking Ink up and putting him on his shoulder like a potato sack. The smaller was lighter than Dream expected, making it easier to hold him down with one hand as the other struggled to get free.

"Stop struggling. Your showing me the way out of this place. Then your free to do whatever you want." Dreams sturn voice cause Ink to freeze.

Dream was shocked as he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. Looking to where Ink had just been he realized the other had vanished.

"Looking for someone?"

Dream instinctively turned around and punched whatever had just snuck up on him. He opened his eyes when he felt the hard yet smooth surface of polished wood against his knuckles. He immediately made eye contact with a pair of somewhat familiar mismatched eyes.

"Hi again."

Dream pulled back and sighed in annoyance. "Warn me next time you do that. I may actually end up taking off your head."

Ink giggled slightly before shrugging. "Whatev. Just, dont carry me again. I guess I'll tag along for now as this could be fun but don't be expecting too much from me"

___________________________________________

"Hey! I think I almost finished the puzzle!" Cross yelled triumphantly as he moved the last stone onto a platform.

Blue chuckled while Nightmare giggled at Cross's enthusiasm. It wasnt even a hard puzzle but they let Cross do it due to the shimmer in his eyes. So here they where, half an hour later with Cross finishing the puzzle.

As the door to the next room appeared, the trio made their way over to it. When Nightmare accidentally stepped on a hidden pressure plate activating a pitfall trap, causing Cross and his companions to fall down into the floor below them.

___________________________________________

"So your a wandering trader?" Dream asked curiosly as he beat another demon into a pulp.

"Yup! Mainly magic weapons and potions" Ink said, leaning against the wall and playing a flute.

"Huh, Cool. If you dont mind me asking, why did you become a wandering trader rather than just, you know- a regular trader?" Dream through the passed out demon to the floor: his bloodlust gauge reaching half.

Ink stopped playing the flute, his expression serious. "Let's just say I made a vow. A vow never to get attached to anything."

There was an ominous shadow hanging on Inks face, preventing Dream from seeing the smallers expression.

Ink felt a haunting warmth surround him.

*Dream used hug on Ink!

He couldn't stop the tears pricking at his eyelights. It had been so many years since he had felt warmth familiar to this.

Dream rubbed the smallers back in a comforting manner as Ink seemingly broke down.

"I-I tried so- so hard to s-stop it" Ink hiccups, burying his face in Dream's blood stained chest.

"B-b-but it s-still hap-pened an-nyways. Now t-their a-a-all go-ne a-and itss a-lll my fa-fault! I-if only I-I wa-warned t-them- they cou-uld have e-escaped." Ink chocked, his voice cracking as Dream pulled him closer.

"Shhhhhhh" Dream whispered as he started to gently sway them: in Hope's of calming the other down. He always did this whenever Nightmare had a breakdown.

Soon enough, the smaller had stopped sobbing: letting out little hiccups here and there."Ink..." Dream started, feeling the other stiffen against him.

"I dont know what happened to you in your past but I can tell you this. Dont let your past weigh you down. You may have lost some very important people to you in the past- but that doesn't mean you should make new ones. I'm sure that whoever you've lost would want you to be happy and make new relationships rather than avoid people and travel constantly." Dream said, an usual softness: only used on Nighty, in his voice.

After holding Ink for a few more minutes, Dream spotted another demon start to approach them from the corner of his eye. Carefully nudging the smaller off him, he motioned to the demon before heading off to kill it: not seeing the light blush and small smile playing on Inks lips.

___________________________________________

"- and then I told them 'that's not an emo, that's my brother!'" Dream exclaimed earning a giggle from Ink. "You can imagine their faces when they found out that was their prince" Dream ended with a chuckle.

Ink in the other hand looked like he was having an extreme giggle attack. He was clenching his stomach while giggling and letting out strangely adorable snorts in the process.

Dream couldn't help the slight heat burning on his face as Ink continued to giggle and snort.

"Wh-" was all Dream managed to get out of his mouth before the floor below him gave away and they both fell into a pit below them.

___________________________________________

Extra:

Dream groaned. 'Where am I now?'

His eyes once again had to get used to the familiar darkness of the dungeons. Exept: that wasn't where he was. He seemed to be in some sort of underground chamber with little to no lighting. He could just make out thousands of wide pillars holding the chamber up.

He groaned in annoyance. Now he needed to find a way out of here. If only he had a guid- Ink! Dream looked around frantically: looking for the trader's staff or even hat. After finding nothing in the darkness, he sighed. He could only hope that Ink was alright.

Thats when he heard it: a set of voices. One extremely familiar. Using his heightened sense of hearing, he headed in that direction. Creeping behind a pillar: he could barely make out a party of 3 silhouettes. One similar to his own.

"Nighty?"

___________________________________________

Before

First

Next

[neverwatchedonepiece]

531-533: "The Ryugu Palace! Taken by the Shark that they Saved!", "A Coward and a Crybaby! The Princess in the Hard Shell Tower!" and "It's an Emergency! The Ryugu Palace is Occupied!"

Pappagu’s gonna stroke out with stress. Yup. Any minute now.

Loved these episodes! The humour that took an exit stage left during Marineford (for obvious reasons) is back. Most of the humor was comedy of errors type stuff. We had Luffy accidentally bouncing on some giant mermaid tiddies. Luffy being unwittingly rude and poor Pappagu nearly having a stress embolism (look at those veins!) There was Zoro getting drunk and waking up in a jail cell. Brook, Usopp, Nami and Zoro accidentally occupying the entire palace and taking a bunch of important hostages... xD

There were some short updates on other characters too. Some have already had an impact on the plot. Caribou has kidnapped some Mermaids with intent to sell them at the Sabaody slave market. Without knowing it, he has exacted perfect revenge on the Strawhats! But how will you leave Fishman Island, Caribou. You don’t have a ship, you absolute roaster. 

Others I’m guessing Oda is keeping up his sleeve for later. Robin, Franky, Sanji and Chopper are still at large. Robin is wandering the island in search of important evidence of missing history. Franky, bless his mechanical heart, is off looking for Tom-san’s family. Chopper is done treating Sanji. He has a new point: Kung Fu Point. Nice to see that Chopper has some more offensive abilities that don’t completely strip him of his intelligence. :)

That’s Some Nice Real Estate, Neptune. Would Be A Shame If Someone Occupied It.

You know what? I like Neptune. His advisors might browbeat him, but at least he’s the type of ruler who will listen to advice, even if he doesn’t take it. He has his own mind and will follow his inner sense of justice, though it might conflict with what his advisors tell him.

Luffy on the Fish Boat back to Ryugu Palace was hilarious, though. Neptune kept doing a Jason Derulo: saying his own damned name all the time in the little songs he sang to himself and Luffy was like, “Mate, your chant is dumb.”  (I mean, Luffy, you’re not wrong but maybe not to the king’s face next time?) Either Neptune is chilled enough to ignore it, or he didn’t hear, Pappagu did, though, and was on hand to give Luffy a five-armed starfish spanking.

Neptune cares about his family too. The princess’ happiness is important and as she can’t get out the house much (more on that later) rescuing Megalo was a Big Deal. “Didn’t mean to save you, but I’m glad you’re okay!”

Too honest, Luffy! xD

Then Neptune told the Strawhats that one of their crewmates was already there. I knew instantly it was Zoro. Only Zoro could be that hopelessly lost that he’d accidentally infiltrate a palace with only one heavily guarded entrance and a buzzer system.

There was also a handy bit of world-building. Neptune handed Luffy a device that looked suspiciously like a pink dildo with multipurpose attachments. It was called Bubbly Coral and enables the user to form their own oxygen bubbles whenever, wherever. Useful.

They zoomed through the entrance flume and emerged into a beautiful place full of light, grand buildings, colour and dragon statues. Dat real estate.

As soon as Neptune stepped through the door, his Minister of the Right advisor (seahorse guy) got laid into him. “WTF, my lord?? You went out again on your own? You know the situation in this country??” Neptune is like Princess Jasmine All he needs is a cute Sea Tiger pet and he’s sorted. Either that, or Neptune is confident enough in his strength to face whatever’s out there. 

The Minister of the Left (catfish guy) took one look at the company Neptune had brought back and was like, “Um.... my lord, there’s something you should know about those Strawhat Pirates.” They spilled the current intel: Memaids had been kidnapped, which is something human pirates are known to do, and Madame Sharley had predicted Luffy would destroy Fishman Island. Unconscious Zoro had already been taken into custody. The rest of the Strawhats were under arrest!

(I’m having doubts about this Madame Sharley, by the way. I wonder if she’s working with Hordy Jones, or is being forced to work with him? Zero basis for this prediction. Only that the timing of the prediction is pretty damned convenient...)

Then Everyone Fell Out

Suddenly, the Strawhats were surrounded by guards. I say the Strawhats. I mean Usopp, Nami and Brook because Luffy had gone AWOL (more on that later). The Mermen made a sensible, tactical decision to burst the Strawhats’ bubbles and force them to fight in the water. But they made the mistake of showing Nami how to operate the Bubbly Coral. She used a giant one to drain the room of water. (Good job, Nami. Quick thinking as usual!) Brook had a badass moment. That’s why I like him. He can go from his goofy, kind, fun-loving self to scary swordsman with a snap of his bony fingers.

Usopp was ready to throw down, which was a nice surprise. I was so hyped to see what his new weapon can do, but was blue-balled. Ah, well. Next time! :D

Oh, and Zoro let himself out of jail. xD

Or Zori, as Neptune kept calling him. Another trait to add to Neptune being a stand up guy was that he volunteered to fight Zori because he didn’t want anyone else getting hurt. A good king!

The next thing, Zoro had plowed through everyone and Usopp was freaking out about overkill! “FFS, Zoro! We were just going to intimidate them and run!”

Zoro thought, “Yes. Run. Let’s bail.”

Usopp said, “A great plan, but we don’t know where Sunny is. Plus, the coating came off when we crashed through the bubble.”

Nami also added that the Log Pose had been unstable ever since they arrived (what does that mean?)

Then a nearby DDM rang.

Accidental Criminals

This whole scene was hilarious. Honestly, I came into this arc expecting lots of heavy stuff about Fishman vs humans racism and I’m getting accidental criminal activity and comedy hostage-takings. It’s awesome.

Zoro picked up the DDM and Usopp freaked out. “Don’t pick it you, you dumbass!” It was Fukaboshi, the eldest Merprince. He asked Zoro to open the gate.

“Yeah, no can do. But I’ll tell you what you can do...”

For Zoro had spied an Opportunity. (For all everyone calls Zoro a dumbass, he can be really clever sometimes).

“We have your father and the palace hostage. We need a new coating for the Sunny. And we need the rest of our crew: a gloomy woman, a robot, a raccoon, and a dirty water imp.”

“HAHAHAH, a dirty water imp. Classic!” Brook chortled.

“Oh, and a million Berry in cash, please, Zoro,” Nami added.

The Strawhats really have taken a level in grey morality, it’s hilarious. Their reactions to Zoro’s Big Idea were even more than I’d have expected from them two years ago (except Nami. She’s always had half an eye on treasure).  And they are clearly confident they can escape from Fishman Island in one piece.

Fukaboshi agreed because he had no choice. It seems he’s a stand up kinda guy too, because he delivered a message from Jimbei to Luffy (this caused a stir in the palace. Jimbei is even more godly down there than on the surface).

The message was: “Do not fight against Hordy. I will meet you at the Sea Forest.”

Do not fight against Hordy? Really? There’s history between them, right? Jimbei and Hordy, I mean. They were both Sun Pirates. Or is that Arlong and Jimbei? Yeah, I think it’s Arlong and Jimbei. But maybe Hordy was also on that crew? 

Something is up here...

But I never found out what because some Big Booms happened off-panel in the direction of the Princess’ room.

Which happened to be where Luffy was, of course.

Princess Peach

So Luffy, who only came to the palace for food, got fed up within 0.5 seconds of arriving and wandered off. He came across a pair of massive, solid-looking doors. A pair of axes were embedded in them. Must admit my first thought was, “Oh cool, the princess is an angry, fighting type!”

Nope. Completely wrong.

Luffy sneaked inside because he could smell food. One thing led to another and he ended up bouncing on the giant Mermaid Princess’ giant tiddies. (If Sanji ever finds out, he will never speak to Luffy again.) 

Of course, she woke up and was like, “Why is there a tiny human bouncing on my tiddies? I did not consent to this.” And she shrieked and cried, as you would if some hungry, little random was bouncing on you. I love how Luffy could not deal with her giant tears. It’s one of his rare weaknesses. Like, what, why are you crying, stop, plz, I did nothing to you.

Turns out the Princess is not a fighting type. She is actually a terrified, sweet girl who has been locked in a Hard Shell Tower for ten years because Captain Bloody Vander Decken is an annoying fucking sex-pest who will not take no for an answer!

The action briefly cut to him ranting away about how he was convinced Neptune wanted to force her into a political marriage because she was really in love with Decken. That he could not allow her to be with anyone else and he would rather see her dead than with anyone else. “Your life is either death or marriage. I will present her this lovely boomerang axe with a rose on it.” You know, because if you’re going to be decapitated, I guess it’s nice to know it’s done with love and good intentions, right? Absolutely insane. This guy is Major Incel Material.

Of course, Decken’s latest “gift” whirled into the room and Luffy stopped it. He was like, “WTF, where did this come from?”

The Guards burst in and the Princess saved Luffy’s ass by hiding him. Of course, Luffy overheard what had happened to the others. He wasn’t bothered. “Meh, that’s fine. Your lot won’t be able to control them, anyway.” Just goes to show how much faith Luffy has in his crew’s strength after those two years. 

To repay Luffy, the Princess said he could eat her giant food. While he ate, she asked him questions. The most interesting was this one:

“You’re a pirate,” she said. “Does that mean you’re a bad person?”

Luffy thought about this, then answered, “Hmm... I dunno. You decide.”

(Just another incident to add to my growing: Luffy’s Grey Morality Evidence Pile.)

The Princess told Luffy Decken has a DF power called Mark Mark. It sounds pretty useful, actually, (which is bad for her). If he designates someone as his mark, he can throw a weapon and hit them every time, unless an obstacle is in the way. That’s why she’d been locked in the Tower for ten years.

Luffy was confused, as you would be if someone told you that. “He wants to marry you but wants to kill you? WTF?” and said, “Ten years? You must be bored. I’d get sick if someone locked me up for ten years.”

Then he yelled at her because she poked his cheeks while he was eating (tbh, that would make me mad too. Just because he’s little does not mean Luffy is a pet!) But she’s just a lonely girl with minimal social skills because she’s been locked up for so long and she could not handle Luffy yelling at her.

Luffy being Luffy, was honest to the point of being Super Harsh. “You might be big, but you’re a coward and a crybaby. I don’t like you! You’ve stayed hear for ten years, eh? That could make you sick. Isn’t there anywhere you wanna go? Come on, let’s go for a walk!”

Luffy gave her the Unblinking Luffy Stare.

There is no returning from that.

Once he puts an idea in someone’s head and gives them That Look, they are done for.

The whole meeting the Princess scenes reminded me of the Big Baby from Spirited Away. The one who wouldn’t go outside because Yubaba had told him all about germs and he was afraid but was still fascinated by Chihiro because he was lonely and wanted her to play. Except this situation is more complicated because Neptune is a Good Dad and only wants to protect his daughter from a pest who he is trying to arrest but cannot find. It’s for her safety. Just as well Luffy is there with a cunning plan to get her out for a walk, eh?

Nah, Luffy. Absolutely no one will realise there’s something up here... xD

Sex-Pest Shakes Hands With Roid Peddler

Meanwhile, the shady villains have teamed up! I don’t think that’s happened in One Piece yet. It’s an alliance of convenience based on a common enemy. They both hate Neptune for different reasons. Hordy’s is political. Decken’s? Because he’s a sex-pest.

Prediction? I bet Hordy will betray Decken. Evidence? None. Just wishful thinking. I want to see Decken get his pathetic ass kicked. 

“And I would like to add a side order of salt and chili fries to our ransom demands.”

[moonraccoon-exe]

Papa ardyn with his three year old daughter Headcanons

This one goes for this other polite anon and you, requester.Hope you like it, yall Papa Ardyn fandom.  ～(‘u^人)

Villain papa Ardyn and his 3 y.o. little but adorable villain daughter.

Kicking in some Noctis and gang at some point, too.

[Adding a Keep Reading Line at some point]

Ardyn and 3 y.o. are a childish mess.

3 y.o. girl has to start going to school.

“But why!? I don’t want to! School can wait! ;________;”

…that was Ardyn.

He’s had so much fun with baby girl he doesn’t want to be away of her.

But little girl is pretty darn excited about school.

So, Ardyn has to let her :’(

Ardyn’s dropping her at school, then sitting at a bench across the street waiting for her to come out again when school’s over.

He’s been alive 2000 years, he can wait a couple hours with patience. 

“Why is she taking so long, stop ;______;”

Aw, Ardyn, you’re gonna die when she goes to middle school with a longer school schedule.

Ardyn’s gonna be the happiest when school’s over and he sees little girl walk out.

Always reaches to hug her like he hasn’t seen her in like a month.

“BABY GIRL! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡“

Ardyn that was like 5 hours

3 y.o. little girl has requested to let her hair grow.

This is the point where Ardyn’s phoning Aranea for help.

Ardyn’s in love with dressing her baby girl and have her look and feel the prettiest princess in the world, so it occurred to him:

Ardyn’s buying ribbons for her.

As a baby she didn’t have enough hair for that and when it grew enough it had not crossed his head before, but now…phew.

There’s more ribbons in the house than actual food or clothes.

Ardyn had gotten only one at first.

It was this red ribbon and he had no idea how to put it on her, but he managed his way there.

You should have seen his face when he stepped back to look at her.

Basically like

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ❤～(≧▽≦人)“

She looks so pretty, that huge red ribbon on her dark red hair, omg, how can such a stupid thing turn an adorable person into someone 1000x cuter?

Ardyn just bought the entire stall of ribbons at a store.

RIBBONS EVERYWHERE.

Little girl’s a pretty likeable person, so not particularly bullied, but just in case…

Ardyn’s gonna terrify the hell out of the kids that try to mess with her.

His strategy, show his real face.

Like this once 3 y.o. girl was in the playground and at some point she came running with Papa because these boys were saying a mean thing about her.

“Oh, no, it’s okay baby girl. Look, tell them to come, I’ll have a conversation with them.”

Ardyn just f*cking SHOWED HIS REAL DEMON FACE TO THE BOYS.

Guess who never said anything mean about little girl again.

“Nobody messed with my daughter >:’(”

“You’re the best, papa :3″

There’s 3 y.o. girl kissing papa’s demon face because she loves him.

You should see Papa Ardyn dealing with potty training.

He’s so patient it’s ridiculous.

That’s the perks of having waited 2000 years for the goddamn King of Light, you learn to be the most patient thing of Eos.

Baby girl never fails to tell him when she has to go or at least ask for a clean diaper.

Ardyn’s teaching her to use the potty, and even though he’s pretty damn VERY lost on the matter, he’s still patient and shares lots of laughs with little girl when ‘accidents happen’.

Lollipops.

These two are utter trash for lollipops.

Actually, little girl is Ardyn’s excuse to buy a ridiculous amount of lollipops each week.

He’s paying and the cashier has this -____- look because “sir, are you sure you want to buy 53 lollipops”

“…she likes lollipops .______.”

Yeah, sure, Ardyn, you’re eating 30 of those.

As mentioned, little girl is pretty damn friendly, and started going to school, so…

Toddlers playdates at Ardyn’s house.

What do I do with more kids that also aren’t mine alksjdsdjf

Ardyn’s staring at kids for hours because he has no idea how those things work except his own.

Baby girl has it under control, don’t worry.

Little girl has a more extent vocabulary.

Meaning, the Why era just started.

“Daddy why is the sky blue?”

“Daddy why are you so tall?”

“Daddy why do dogs pee like that?”

“Daddy why do you look so young if you’re 2000?”

It’s all super simple to answer.

Tbh Ardyn’s answering some in his flamboyant sarcasm and not even accurately but little girl buys it anyway.

“Daddy where do babies come from?”

._____.

“Yes, hello, I have another question, Aranea.”

It’s not that he doesn’t know, hahaha, it’s he doesn’t know what to say.

Tbh by this point Aranea’s starting to switch her phone in silence all day.

“I’m not paid enough for this shit.”

Guess who’s in the perfect age for constant tantrums.

At first Ardyn used to freak the hell out because I LOVE THIS LITTLE HUMAN BUT I HATE WHAT SHE’S DOING BUT I DON’T HATE HER HOW DO I TELL HER TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WITHOUT HURTING HER FEELINGS

Ardyn’s got it under control now. Sort of. His own way.

Ardyn’s threatening her saying something about gifting her to Iedolas.

“But he’s ugly, papa ;_____;”

“Precisely.”

Little girl stops the tantrum.

Ardyn’s threatening constantly cause he’s a villain but baby girl doesn’t mind cause he’s never hurt her in any way and she’s growing up a villain too, so a threat is just fine, I guess, hahaha.

Another tantrum, wtf

Ardyn’s threatening on gifting her to Verstael.

“HE’S UGLY TOO.”

“See, then be a good girl and stay with your handsome papa.”

It’s a tantrum in public.

Ardyn’s not doing anything. 

Ardyn’s arm crossed looking down at little girl who’s currently thrown on the floor screaming.

Once she tires out Ardyn’s gonna go down to her height like

“See, it felt good, right? Let all your rage and hatred out?”

“But all my noise upset the other people, papa.”

“Precisely.”

“…yeah, it felt good.”

It’s actually super nice, let the child tantrum to exhaustion cause they need to vent their feelings but also understand they’re doing a senseless thing.

Nice job there, Ardyn, ten points to yourself.

Little girl is drawing daemons on the living room’s wall.

“*GASP* BABY GIRL, NO!”

Ardyn’s currently sat in front of the wall at a side of baby girl holding a crayon and doodling on the wall.

“This one has three eyes, not two, and let’s fix this Marilith’s head, okay?”

Little girl smacked this boy at school who stole her cookie.

“Way you go, baby girl! :’)”

Ardyn’s the sweetest papa, but he’s a villain, omg, what is this girl gonna be when she’s older, everybody run, we’re not safe.

3 y.o. girl has this giant dollhouse that Ardyn definitely didn’t steal from anywhere.

3 y.o. girl and papa Ardyn are playing together with the dollhouse.

There’s papa Ardyn with the blonde doll cause baby girl wanted the brunette one.

They’re sharing gossip and going shopping.

The dolls, I mean.

3 y.o. girl has a constant come-and-go of what she wants to be when she grows up.3 y.o. girl wants to be a doctor.

3 y.o. girl has this nice toy set of doctor game.

Ardyn is very definitely pretending to be sick almost every day.

He’s pretending to pass out.

“Oh, oh no! I feel so bad! I need a doctor! If oooonly there was sooome nearbyyyy….”

There’s goes 3 y.o. little girl.

SHE’S RUSHING SO FAST OMG SHE BE BEST DOCTOR IN TOWN.

Ardyn’s going to pretend and fake every illness he supposedly catches.

“Oh no, I don’t knooow….no…nope…oooh, there! It hurts theeere! Doctor please heal meeee :’(”

Bro, it doesn’t hurt.

Still, Ardyn enjoys to be thrown on the floor for like half an hour while little girl plays doctor.

3 y.o. little girl likes art and crafts.

Ardyn’s joining her in activities about that.

There’s giant, skyscrapper-height Ardyn sat in a kid-sized chair at a side of his baby girl doing some macaroni drawing of some stupid fish.

Ardyn’s having so much fun.

“Look, mine looks so pretty! OOOH, yours is even better, baby girl! What do you mean mine’s ugly? Of course not! Look, it has this little fin and…come on, it’s so pretty, I put all my effort in it.”

Now they’re using pencils and crayons.

“Oh, that’s a very nice drawing of home, baby girl! Look at mine. What do you mean a ‘rotten dough’, it’s a cat.”

Skyscrapper-tall Ardyn’s still sat in that kid-sized chair doing a painting with the palms and fingers as brush.

“Ahaha, this is so much fun.”

“Daddy, I’m happy already, can we go home?”

“One craft more, baby girl.”

Little girl really likes storybooks.

Ardyn just bought the entire kids’ books shelf from the book store.

Papa Ardyn and 3 y.o. are reading together so she can learn.

Papa Ardyn’s the most patient little shit, ugh, so adorable.

Papa Ardyn is going to half-sit half-lie in either her or his bed, have little girl sit in his lap, and he’s gonna open a book so both can read at her pace.

Sometimes it takes up to 2 hours entertained in just that.

He guides her and helps her decipher what’s written.

Sometimes little girl is falling asleep on him.

Most times, Ardyn’s not even gonna go away, he’ll just fall asleep too with baby girl cuddled to his chest.

Papa Ardyn and 3 y.o. also like walks through the parks.

Papa Ardyn and 3 y.o. like to feed the ducks.

3 y.o. just threw a piece of bread to the duck’s head on purpose cause it was mean to her.

“*GASPS* Baby girl!!! What an aim 0:”

Ardyn’s so gonna teach this girl to shoot at some point, she has talent.

That this 3 y.o. girl climbs up trees ain’t troubles.

Ardyn like, only needs to put the hands up and he reaches her, lmao.

Papa Ardyn’s teaching little girl to secretly mess with the Lucian prince and the gang.

Papa Ardyn and little girl are hidden behind a bush poking at the back of Noctis’ head and hiding back again before he notices.

They’re throwing small, harmless rocks to Prompto from a spot he can’t see.

They’re using spitballs and a straw against Gladio.

They decide it’s best not to mess with Ignis.

He cooks so good.

Not like Ardyn…not like he tends to steal Ignis’ dishes and cookies or anything…

Baby girl’s learning to childishly hate the Lucian prince.

3 y.o. girl is walking up to him.

“Papa’s better than you! He gonna kick your butt! I gonna kick your butt when I grow up, too, you old man!”

“I’m twenty.”

“OLD”

“YEAH? YOUR PAPA IS 2000 YEARS OLD, YOU LITTLE SHIT.”

Little girl is kicking the prince’s leg then run away.

Papa Ardyn and 3 y.o. like boxes.

They liked to build up forts with the boxes.

They also like to use boxes to craft some disguise like moogle wings.

Papa Ardyn once got this giant box.

Papa Ardyn and 3 y.o. daughter and playing inside.

It’s ridiculous.

Ardyn barely fits in there.

3 y.o. little girl likes to sing the Lucian equivalent of Happy Birthday from the top of her lungs.

It’s nobody’s birthday.

“It IS somewhere!!”

Of course, little girl, but this is the 10th time you sing it today.

3 y.o. little girl likes stickers.

Ardyn just bought the entire shelf of stickers of the store.

How many shelves has this man bought already, somebody stop him.

3 y.o. little girl once decorated all of papa’s room with stickers.

All the walls are covered in moogle and chocobo stickers.

Also hearts and kittens.

Also puppies and clouds.

Ardyn walks into his room.

“…baby girl .____.”

3 y.o. girl is like (◕‿◕)♡

“Baby girl…THIS IS AMAZING (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ“

Ardyn’s letting the stickers stay there forever.

It’s not the stickers.

It’s that BABY GIRL PUT THEM THERE FOR ME AKLJSJSLDKFJ

Baby girl could stab someone and Ardyn’s still gonna be super proud just because it’s her.

…well, it’s not a good example, considering Ardyn does stab people himself…hm.

They playing monster.

3 y.o. also likes dancing.

There’s papa Ardyn doing the moogle dance with 3 y.o. little girl.

They’re standing on the table.

It’s a public table.

Ardyn regrets nothing.

3 y.o. and Ardyn are doing the chocobo dance.

They’re again in public.

They regret nothing.

PIGGY BACK RIDES.

3 y.o. girl also likes fire, like papa.

Papa Ardyn is constantly entertaining 3 y.o. baby girl with summoning fire on his palms.

See how other parents do sock-puppet shows for their kids

Nah man.

FIRE PUPPET SHOWS.

It’s so twisted, man, this girl has the best dad ever wtf.

3 y.o. girl likes SO MUCH to draw things on the street with chalk.

LIKE LITERALLY SO MUCH IT’S RIDICULOUS SHE LOVES IT.

3 y.o. girl is joined by Papa Ardyn to draw lots of things with chalk on the street.

3 y.o. girl likes to draw daemons devouring people.

“That’s such a gorgeous Ariadne, baby girl!”

“Yah, but you the prettiest daemon, papa”

Ardyn is crying happy tears.

Papa Ardyn and 3 y.o. are drawing Ifrit murdering everyone on Eos, at the porch.

It’s not their porch.

Lmao they’re drawing traumatic kid chalk drawings on everybody’s porches when they’re not looking.

3 y.o. girl likes to have tea parties.

3 y.o. girl is joined in tea parties by papa Ardyn.

There’s skyscrapper-tall Ardyn again sat at a kid sized chair wearing a pink flowery hat having a tea party with little Izunia and her plush toys.

He’s loving it, tbh.

Evil dad with his evil daughter, as an adorable mess. Evil + evil = maximum fluff.

Let them be evily happy together. (っ˘ω˘ς )

Here’s Papa Ardyn.