#i cant proportion either
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superbellsubways · 1 year ago
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nyatbinary-81 · 8 months ago
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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fear-no-mort · 4 months ago
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slams fists down on beautifully crafted oak desk
#uh started the rewatch Now .Earlier ;; THEY HURT ME SO FUCKING HBABBDNDFGPOGGr#I CRIED LIKE FOUR TIMES WHILE WATCGUB THE FUCKING PILOT#it just lays it all out so perfectly#the entire time morty was like protesting to rick and complaining but when jerry was kicking him out he defended him#I cant. theyre smiling because of eachother#god i looovoreergkt how much of the stuff rick says to morty is to impress him teach him or just scare him#like the way rick blows stuff out of proportion just cause he wants to see how morty will react hes . so obsessed with him#for tHE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE… MORTY HAS A FRIEND:&!:#and they’re so. they like speak fondly towards eachother rick is way more soft and earnest when talking to morty n morty is outwardly#impressed and fascinated with the things rick does from time to time and he trusts him#and all the emphasis on how rick sincerely only gave a shit about morty. whenever he talks to the rest of the family it’s either exaggerated#or blunt and if mortys there then hes all rick focuses on#and how it’s repeated rick Needs morty to help him . no one else not even someone more helpful and agreeable nope just morty#if it’s not morty rick doesn’t want it at all#and like even as early as the cold open for the pilot. you can see rick become impressed when morty suddenly becomes assertive once he-#actually hears the bomb and starts getting up and trying to kick rick off the drivers seat#big tough guy all of a suddenLIKE YOU CSN TELL HE DIDNT EXPRCT THAT AT ALL AND HES SURPRISED#ive been thinking a lot lately about how . one of ricks favourite qualities about morty imo is his sense of morality and refusal to just-#take stuff when it reaches a certain point. like he Loves that side of morty so much and doesn’t mind too much when it comes out because of-#something he did. yeah that part in the pilot cold open is like the first thing of that go back and look at how taken aback rick is#and i love how sheepish rick is around morty every now and then. like he so clearly tries to look cool to him and to know what he’s talking#about he needs to twist everything to be correct . all the time but also in front of morty specifically#crazyyyy crazy how he managed to find the one real morty#ohg. uitltogfo ouhkdfjrjp iuubbvv ? ledjndflfidnf#odiespeak
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hill1203 · 1 year ago
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Had the urge to draw them…
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tellmeabtspinos · 2 years ago
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damian using his art skills for evil and drawing timber in an awful 90s yaoi artstyle (yes the proportions are awful and the hands are nightmarish)
he gives it to tim in front of bernard so tim isn't able to tear it up or even say anything bad about it
it's on bernards fridge now and tim is forced to look at it everytime he comes over
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bluebellhairpin · 1 year ago
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I write cannibalism and murder into my fanfics so I am a cannibal and a murderer. No one is safe near me lest I get confused about what is fiction and what is reality. Lock me up I am sick and twisted.
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numerowah · 1 year ago
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man the way i draw does NOT lend itself to wario easily this sucks
its still cartoony, but its less cartoony than wario is [tbh waluigi too but he's easier to hide mess-ups] and i either fuck up his proportions or they look wrong they way i draw them. or both
i'll get him in a dress eventually i just need to figure this out X]
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snowflakeb0ttles · 2 months ago
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iiiiii think im moving in with my mommmm todayyyyy
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nimomo-mo · 6 months ago
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Vent
#my friends always start fighting when theyre drunk.#like theyre the sweetest couple and would never break up and theyre getting married once they have the funds but#as soon as theyve gone down a bottle of vodka and its starting to get late they both get emotional and snappy#always start arguing#its so tiring#like i know i shouldnt drink with them anyway#they're alcoholics and i shouldnt drink with them because like. they shouldnt drink at all. and me joining them is giving them an incentive#but i cant tell them what to do either#and i dont wanna be like “no you cant have alcohol in my house thats not allowed” like some youth pastor#now they came into my room to ask if they could drink my alcohol since theirs ran out and i feel so gross#i dont want to fuel this behavior#its gotten worse i think#i should say no next time they ask to drink#theyre amazing and my best friends and have been the only people ive hung out with during my intense remote learning uni courses#but its so gross to feel like im endorsing this behavior when i join them and when they get like this#i dont know how to handle it and theyre obviously ashamed of their actions because they have to ask me to let them drink my alcohol as well#but theyre. idk. i dont wanna be an annoying savior complex esque “get sober” person either#i literally felt the need to hide the leftover alcohol and it proved to be needed since they came asking for it#its a bad time all around. i dont know how to handle this.#same with their fighting. they argue and end up hurting eachother and then immediately talk it out then hurt again then quiet then talk#its just a neverending ouroboros of fighting and making up#and its making everyone else uncomfortable and that fuels one of them to get even more heated#its so frustrating to endure as a bystander because they dont think theyre fighting#its a hassle. all this is a hassle. going away for uni is going to be interesting. i want a blunt#get them high instead of drunk and they wouldnt fight. or try to get more from someone else. maybe.#tried to hint that they should sleep but theyre staying up longer. im going to bed. getting to separate myself from the emotional storm#the borderline in them is probably blown out of proportion when drunk.#eugh#I dont like this
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monstersholygrail · 5 months ago
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I've had an idea on my mind forever. I cant word it though, but I'll try my best.
Dragon friend whose secretly in love with their traveling partner/rider. Hers horny and the rider helps them, but hes far too big, resulting in him using his tongue, instead.
Reading this I can figure out what you meant, but the terms on who's doing what is a bit mixed and it gave me a hilarious idea.
When you arrived at the academy, they almost didn't know what to do with you. You were a giant after all. Most if not all their dragons were huge, sure, but huge for humans. Proportional to a human and what they'd need to ride. You had passed all the field and written exams with ease and how couldn’t you... you were a giant. So they couldn't exactly kick you to the curb. But what else could they do?!
And that's when they remembered your Dragon friend. He was ginormous, the biggest dragon in all the land. Much too big for a human to be able to control. But you? You were the answer to his prayers and he was the answer to yours. The two of you worked as an incredible team and became fast friends. And maybe something more. If either of you could just admit your feelings for one another.
Going out for patrols where you would have to ride your Dragon friend’s back was a special kind of torture for you both. Hours on end with no break as your sweet core is so close yet so far from where you both need it most. Your Dragon friend could feel the heat emit from you and it took all his strength not to throw you down and have his way with you. Meanwhile every flap of his wings sent his body bumping against you and you could barely hold yourself back from grinding against his scales.
Today was especially tricky as the winds didn’t seem to be on their sides. It seemed particularly intent on their ruin as it blowed rapidly against them, causing your Dragon friend to flap his wings furiously in attempts to steady the both of you. His body practically rocking between your thighs. You couldn’t help the arousal you feel building up inside you. And sadly, you aren’t subtle about it either as one long sniff and your Dragon friend can smell it as it surrounds his senses.
He quickly tells you he needs to land and before you can disagree he’s descending down to the ground. You try and act clueless as to why he’s paused your patrols but one look from him and a blush covers your cheeks. He tells you that he can’t fly like this with your smell wafting in his nose every few minutes and disorienting him.
That’s how you find yourself maneuvering your giant self on top of your Dragon friend’s snout. His large dragon body laying on his back and ready to lick your hole till you go weak in the knees. He can feel the fire burning in his throat, so turned on he could shoot flames right now.
He’s been waiting so long for this moment. Wanting to finally taste you more than he’s ever wanted anything in his life. So when his tongue finally dips inside your core a growl rumbles through him and he unleashes his every desire onto you. His tongue swirling inside you and hitting every place right. You cry out, body jerking forward. Your hands finding purchase on the top of a couple trees in front of you. Using them as leverage to help grind into your Dragon friend’s face.
Your climax crashes through you as his tongue repeatedly hits that spot deep inside you that has your mind spinning and your toes curling. Your cum shoots all over your friend’s face and he roars in pleasure. You moan and shake as he works you through your orgasm. Then when he’s done he continues to care for you and helps clean you and his face up. Plus he just wants more of your taste on his tongue.
Afterwards as you’re both getting prepped to fly again, you’re a blushing mess while your friend acts like nothing happened. What you don’t know and will soon find out is how every time the scent of your arousal dares to fill his senses he’s gonna take you back to the ground and pound you into it.
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mintiicinnamonii · 3 months ago
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Open requests u say?? Could you do a Red Son or Macaque with a fem reader who’s super into drawing? Like, been doing it their whole life, pretty good at it
Specifically people tho, I hate drawing backgrounds and never do it so I exclusively draw oc’s or (rarely) do figure drawing
Also if you need more to work on, have em draw the character in a cunty fit (if you need references i actually posted exactly that for both of them)
notes: OHOHOHO YOU SCAMP /POS
i wish all artists reading this a 1000 year long ability to draw proportions properly <33
here’s the dress concept:
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Art Shenanigans
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:: RED SON
he was BAFFLED like.. he knew you were an amazing artist, he appreciates your talent but you drew him in THAT??! the weirdest part was how.. gorgeous your made him look GIRLIE YOU MADE HER LOOK LIKE A GODDESS you even drew little sparkles and hearts around him Red Son just stared at the drawing, flabbergasted at how you drew him in that dress he asked you if you found him that beautiful, which you quickly agreed to he called you an idiot and pouted, but he was still very flustered he cant stop looking back at the picture… he might even be convinced to wear dresses and makeup normally  hes always wanted to be more androgynous, regardless of gender headcanon, but now he can without ANY EXCUSES!! you encourage her to embrace her androgyny and shes very grateful for it <33
:: MACAQUE
unlike red son, he’s intrigued he was actually always been jealous of your art ngl.. so when he saw you draw him in that revealing dress flabbergasted  macaque rlly being looking like either “😦” or “😏” “soooo- can you draw yourself in that or-“ you’ve got him curious now, he WILL beg you to draw yourself in cunty outfits hes just chilling with it, didnt impact him much
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saewokhrisz · 10 months ago
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have u ever talked anywhere about your coloring or composition processes? u are honestly one of my favorite artists and i would love to hear any insight on how you make pieces 💓
wahh thank you TTT !!! I did sorta give a very simplistic answer here but it was more of my simpler sketchy style so lemme redo that, ill try to be consise and make this understandable ?? its a bit hard cuz it honest to god depends on what Kind of piece im even drawing, cuz for some i go the whole length of doing lineart flats and all that, others i just just fuck around untill it looks right?
i do usually start with a rough sketch or colour draft, especially with more compley pieces this helps with figuring out the feel, honestly i should spend more time drafting properly, figuring out poses and such but im so lazy i just go w the first thing that looks good
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then just lines over the colour draft, fixing lots of anatomy and proportion stuff, and depending on how i wanna do the colours ill either keep the colour layers or merge them together and have the edited colours as the base colour (this might not even make sense help)
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see this piece at the time gave me an insane ammount of trouble with lighting and colours, so after trying to render i ended up merging everything together....which i dont USUALLY do but the rendering is pretty similar except usually i have colours be seperated by layer,
ANYWAYS sadly i dont have a process on how it got from flats to this specific render for this piece...but i still followed my initial drafts/plans with vibe and colours and just painted over it, its why i make it after all!
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but honestly a lot of times its just very simple colours and just trying to mainting good contrast and values !!!! and THEN fucking around with colours and rextures, for other pieces i kinda just paint as i go? i have this timelapse of my justice piece that may be a bit more help!
it includes the initial colour draft, the cleanup/lining process, flats, rendering, and all that so its probs the most accurate timelapse of my morecomplex work processes, with stuff that doesnt include heavier backgrounds, which is a whole OTHER topic honestly
im sorry if i cant explain it more cohesively, i genuinely barely know what im doing most times and go by muscle memory and stuff i Know but cant. Explain? like i know how light and folds work since i observed and studied them but i cannot put it into words at all )--)0
my brushes also contribute a lot to how i render and colour, depending on what i use, you can find the swatches for them here !
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hazshit-hotel-hater · 8 months ago
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Surprise! I am going to rant about my own redesign and art! I think this is me mentally preparing for the helluva boss episode next week and praying to god it’s actually good. I’ve also been nursing a bit of a hangover today so forgive me if my wording is a bit more jumbled than usual
Im a big fan of my Angel Dust redesign, but in the general aspect of my art, a lot of my poses are a bit flat. That can be from either posing issues on my end, trouble with facial features, or just some secret third thing, but I think so far Ive been enjoying drawing much more cartoonishly as of recent. That vox canon & headcanon drawing was super super fun to do even though it was supposed to be vivzies style, but I used to have a style with more sharp angles and pointy curves that I honestly kind of miss, I also miss playing with cartoonish proportions!!
My art style may end up changing eventually, but my main pieces will stay in my usual style and my more doodle-y ones will probably be in a more cartoony style like the ones above. While theyre definitely closer to canon and meant to be inspired as such, the difference is that I can draw diverse body types in said artstyle! I also cant lie, Angel’s chest fluff is one of my absolute favourite things to draw and it’s so easy in this style…
About my redesigns though! This is mostly about Angel, but I’m gonna slap this here from DMs with a friend: “Im so pleased with this genuinely im so happy he has his little pedipalps, theyre technically also still his fangs but now he can move them and stuff and :33 typically for male spiders the pedipalps are a reproductive organ but that isnt the case for angel or many other arachnid or insect sinners id say so I think personally most of them have developed pedipalps for primarily other reasons like fangs in Angels case or maybe something similar to cat whiskers for other people”
In my original angel dust redesigns I just couldn’t find a way to draw his fangs in a way that made me happy because I want to keeo the same energy in his face as the original. Big clunky fangs that stick out just didn’t work for him and while they made him look like a spider, he lost that sort of angel-ness that I need when drawing him so I instead looks to the pedipalp aspect of spiders to move them off of his mouth and more onto his cheeks. It’s a very small change but it improved the design in my eyes significantly and just really made me a lot happier. I wont be updating his redesign post as of right now and maybe never will, but if I do yknow why now!
I just really really like drawing this guy a bit rubbery, hes supposed to be fluffy so like he should move kinda soft in a way? I dunno how to explain it rn, its 2 AM at the time of writing this so im gonna lay the hell down now!
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punkrock-confetti · 7 months ago
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Guide to drawing prismo the wish master! (Human version included!)
(How to not draw “whitemo” as i like to call him)
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(Fun prismo doodle to hook you in)
Step one!! Hair!
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The one i see the most is VERY loose waves. Curls have a distinct ringlet shape. The tighter the curl, the tighter the ringlet! Like a spring :)
Step 2!! Nose!
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Please stop giving prismo a button nose yall… im begging…
Step 3!! Eyes!(sorta optional step depending on how much you care)
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I personally think he looks so so so much better with his og designs proportions and shapes, but i cant stop you on this one.
Step 4!! Final step! Skin tone!
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When in doubt, colour pick! Hue shifting, styalized colour pieces, heavy lighting ect should still visibly have dark skin. He has dark skin, your “artstyle” should not be making him look white. Learn to shade dark skin before you start saying “its the lighting!!!” Because no lighting should make him grey and pasty like concrete. Thank you.
And with that! We are done!
Im open to discusion, questions, critique, imput ect.! The goal of this guide is to help those who either dont understand the importance of prismos features, or people who are worried theyre drawing him wrong.
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withonly-sweetheart · 3 months ago
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Threads of Carmine Red
They split your heart into two and the sticky sweet threads that hang between them only bring you closer to your doom. Can you every truly choose your fate? Or will it always be in their silky hands...?
a/n: ok erm so uh like well uh <- thats it. bye! characters are more expanded on in the endings because i cant do shit for shit. i fear.
heh now its time for credits
@candlekiss - MARI WHY'D YOU INSPIRE LIKE ALL OF THESE <3 but it was ur study of the scrapped character design of re8 ada that inspired this wildly massively changed sequence of events. LOVE YOU EITHER WAY POOKIE <3
@pxs-onthehunt - sorry for tagging you but your ada vampire art actually had me tweaking so hard... its kinda what inspired ada's personality throughout this... uh... thank you for your service <3
@vampiricgf <- kita tysm for helping with the atmosphere im still mindblown how your small piece of advice came SUCH a long way and i hope i've conveyed this right (probably havent sigh)
@eyesofsix - ur uhm aeon vampire art... harshi sent that to me because she was freaking out over it and i saw it and also freaked out and we danced in a freaking out circle together. your art is bringing people closer (together). <- stop the freaky jokes need to stop. BUT
(psst. if i didnt mention u in this one artist moots TRUST you're definitely in one of the other three.)
tw: descriptions of blood? ig? idfk something like that and then idek what this is man you just gotta read it ig (can you tell im off today THE OPPS HAVE WON SADLY)
wc: 2.2k
You don’t know where you’re going, but you do know that her eyes are following you. Tracking you, searing your back with their presence, origin unknown. You can confirm it is indeed a “her” watching you when that sultry voice finally appears from the shadows.
“Are you lost, little girl?” she muses, confident in a way you can’t quite explain. You try your best to be bold and lift your chin, surveying your surroundings in an unfavorable attempt to find her. “Ah, you won’t see me unless I want you to.”
“Do you know where I am?” you demand. “Can you get me out of here?”
“Ouch.” You can imagine a pout, yet no face to place it with. A simple expression with no master behind it, crimson lips twisted down. “Leaving so soon?”
“Yes,” you grit out. “I need to get back. Where the hell am I?”
“Can’t you tell?”
You glare out into the retreating light that only seems to twitch from your grasp as you near. A fretful game of tag that’ll never end, you fear. With a frown puckering your eyebrows, you glance upward, yet no flash of lightning comes through the night-ridden windows, useless in your pursuit. Only a flash of white-hot fear that surges through your blood.
A door creaks open somewhere to your left. You know better than to trust mysterious voices from the dark, but guidance is scarce in a place like this. At least you assume your location to be applicable to those terms, foolishly, perhaps.
“Go ahead,” she coaxes softly. “I’m simply helping you.”
Perhaps if there were light, you could’ve seen that she was trailing you the entire time, never more than a few steps away, itching to get her hands on you yet shoving that instinct into a box in her mind, a box known as patience.
You might’ve also noticed the pointed edges of her teeth when she grins as you stupidly stumble into the door, feeling around for the knob, and she waits with her hands clasped behind her back before you trip past something into the room.
And you miss her silently closing the door behind you.
There’s light in this room, thankfully, a dim light that only sparks to life after you take another few steps. A lantern tosses shadows in your face, painting the room in dramatic proportions, making the small area seem larger than life.
“Hello?” you call out, timidly. “Is anyone there?”
You shut your mouth immediately as soon as there’s yet another high pitched squeal from the floorboards, unable to support your weight as well as you’d like, and something splinters behind you. 
Spinning around to find nothing there throws you off balance, and you manage to get your foot stuck in the broken wood. You make the mistake of reaching down, kneeling and pawing at your foot, which leaves you with minor scratches on your now free foot.
It comes with the cost of blood welling up, tears of your skin gushing from a painful gash that somehow goes unnoticed in the first few seconds of shock before you scream. Then you slam your uninjured hand back over your mouth, trying not to scowl at yourself, biting at the knuckle in a silly attempt to cancel out the pain.
It doesn’t work. If anything, it seems your efforts have all been in vain. A weak kick is delivered to your neck, and you sway to the side lightly. There’s an unimpressed growl from behind you, just before something strikes the same area at least ten times harder, and your vision goes dark, fading from your sideways slant of the room.
<><><><>
“Stop moving,” a voice hums in your ear. It seems too sudden for you, jerking back to life like a monster, flailing and thrashing your limbs. You’re bound with something, rope, maybe, but the state of panic sends adrenaline rushing to your head.
“It’s like she does the opposite of whatever you say,” that same sultry voice remarks, albeit from a distance, which doesn’t scare you as much as the presence looming over your shoulder.
“Relax,” it muses, too quiet to determine whether it’s male or female, too subtle to know the differences. Your calf burns, as if your wound has magically gotten larger, spreading over the expanse of bare skin where your pants are rolled up.
You blink and still at the feather light touch of calloused fingertips tracing up your arm, drawing the silhouette of your body, yet the feeling is almost… otherworldly.
“What…” you sputter, an unwelcome shudder rippling through your body. “What are you?”
“What are you,” the woman combats, “if not a creature of Earth?”
They remain pure voices, the harmony of male and female in perfect vocals that may as well be songs themselves, yet the pure chill of fear thrums alongside your searing blood, at every subtle touch unwillingly placed onto your skin.
“Just let me go, please,” you plead, just short of convincing. A string inside you unravels, tugging you back towards them, an unprecedented attraction that could try to coil back up, spin back into a shape in your body, but it reaches for them.
You imagine a well trimmed finger, sharp nails glinting in the darkness, source of light unknown, curling around that thread, a leash for a disobedient dog.
“Aren’t you just that?” she muses. “A sweet little puppy? A human plaything for the society that has existed long before you were even a thought in your ancestors’ flimsy minds. They were no smarter than you, it seems.”
You nod in compliance, feeling yourself slip further and further away, stretching your legs in an attempt to swim through the murky liquid you feel yourself sinking into, trying to reach for the glowing spool, the source of all your turmoil, but it fades within the violent waves.
“She will suffice,” another voice huffs out, the one with the ghastly touch. “Prepare her.”
“Why should it be me?” she scoffs. “You’ve gotten your hands dirty, do it yourself.”
Uh oh. Looks like Mom and Dad are fighting.
<><><><>
The next time you find yourself, it takes what seems like hours to trudge through the inky, vast darkness threatening to swallow you whole. But you see your soul sparkling, woven in as gems of memories within the thin line, glowing so intensely you fear you might burn yourself upon touching it.
But your fingers graze the raised material and you immediately sit upright, eyes blown open as you force yourself to take steady breaths, trying to readjust to the feeling of being in control of your own body.
What had really happened back there? She was the puppeteer to your mindless actions, unable to change the course of events from your glass bubble, restricting your air, trying to erase all evidence of you. You wonder who the mysterious, sultry woman is.
“Thank you.” The same voice calls out, this time from the only patch of darkness available in the well-lit room, morning sun casting warmth onto your cheek as you crane your neck up to catch a glance of the woman.
Narrow eyes peer back at you, and the light in the room shifts quickly enough for you to acknowledge her eerily pale skin, tinted lips the only pop of color in her otherwise drab outfit, a black cloak with crimson accents splashed here and there.
Only when she drops from the ceiling do you realize that they aren’t accents at all. Splotches of dried blood, you see more closely as she approaches, and you scramble back on the mattress you’ve been placed on, only to have your back meet the wall in a most unpleasant manner.
“Don’t worry,” she says with a chuckle. “I won’t hurt you.”
You resist the urge to furrow your eyebrows, fearing that she might take it as a sign of disrespect and pounce. How often do you see vampires? Trick question, the answer is never. You’re not prepared in the slightest, yet you can’t deny the awe that quickly fills you.
Awe at her appearance. If you hadn’t seen the blood, you wouldn’t have even begun to suspect she’s a blood sucking demon, and even now you find yourself doubting the very idea. How could someone so nice be evil?
“I… apologize if I came off strange earlier,” she says with a smile that curves her teeth, and you fight to discern her teeth from her fangs, almost undetectable if you weren’t hanging off your seat and biting your nails in anticipation of them. “You must understand our hesitations to accept a new member.”
“A… new… member?” You test out each word slower than the last, and you feel like you’re back in primary school with a teacher, bless her, patient enough to guide you through it.
“It’s been millennia since a human has met our qualifications. When Leon scouted you, I knew-”
“Leon?” you interrupt. Irritation sparks in her eyes, previously warm, melted honey freezing up quickly. “He’s the guy who was following me here!”
“Yes, but-”
“And he was the one who tied me up!” you say with a gasp. “So who are you?”
“It looks like you’re more interested in talking than listening.” The woman - or should you say vampire? -  curls her lip and you can’t tell if it’s in distaste or carefully placed amusement. It feels like you’re tiptoeing on ice, cracks reverberating through the room, devastating enough to bring the entire building down.
“Sorry.”
“Hm.” She lifts her nose, somewhat haughtily. “You’re quite gullible, aren’t you?”
“Better fix that soon, ma’am,” a voice replied sarcastically from the doorway. Ada shifts her figure so you can see who, but of course, their identity becomes quickly hidden with the light playing on their face, shadows from their cloak hood dapping the planes of their face.
“I’d think twice about talking down to me, Leon,” she replies suavely, a smile coaxing her lips into emotion. “She already knows.”
You swear you can hear his teeth gnash against each other. “That was my job, Ada.”
“Your one job,” she teases, eyes flitting down to you with a subtle wink before turning to face him with an all too important look, “and I beat you to it.”
“Ada,” you test out quietly. Even the name sounds foreign, a medley of arcane qualities and inscrutable judgment. 
"Tell me then," Leon says in a low voice, stepping further into the room. You press back into the plush mattress, sensing the tension mounting between them. "What exactly have you told our guest?" 
"Only that which she deserves to know," Ada replies coyly.
"Which is?"
She levels him an unimpressed stare. "Patience. All will be explained in due time." 
Leon shoots you a glance, lips thin. "How have you found our hospitality so far? Comfortable?"
You nod hesitantly, eyeing the door behind him. "Very kind of you all, though the circumstances of my arrival were... unconventional."
Ada offers a soft chuckle. "Leon lacks finesse, perhaps true. But fear not - harm will not come to you here." Her reassurance does little to do any of its intended purpose. Part of you longs to trust her gentle words and curious gaze, yet Leon's wariness makes you wonder what other truths lie beneath the surface. 
"I understand you must have questions," Ada continues. "Please, ask what you will. An open exchange benefits us all."
You hesitate, darting knowing looks between them. Leon's intense glare conveys he wishes to avoid certain subjects.
"If I may... what exactly are you going to do to me?"
Ada’s enigmatic smile vanishes. Leon scoffs.
“I thought you informed her of her purpose, Ada,” he says, her name coming out of his mouth laced with venom, the same that swirls through your mind as their gazes bore into your mind.
And for the first time since you’ve seen him, Leon grins.
“You are going to become one of us.”
You blink, the words becoming garbled with all the background noise fresh in your mind, coarse tongue lead weight in your mouth, running your teeth over chapped lips.
“And now, we play a little game,” Ada says, although reluctantly, as if suddenly her eagerness has been replaced with the grim truth. “You must pick.”
“Pick… what?”
“One of us,” Leon says, stepping forward. “One of us will grant you freedom; you’ll wake up safe in your home, with no recollection of this incident.”
“Yet the other will lead you to our cause, the same fate that befell us.” Ada’s face has gone stony, giving no hints of which path she leads. “You will join us. This is less of a game, and more a test of your judgment. Choose wisely.”
They unfurl their hands like broken angels, reaching down from you in an inverted version of heaven, more reaching up from hell, but you can’t say that, now can you? Neither of them are trustworthy enough, so you quickly make a decision. 
And you reach for…
ADA?
or
LEON?
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missbaphomet · 2 years ago
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Hi I'm at work so I can't give a full response but medical trauma is not an excuse to neglect your health. In fact, you should be healing from your trauma, not just avoiding it. I was groomed and sexually assaulted when I was younger and it took a lot of hard work to overcome that trauma but it has been so, so worth it.
You have the right to change providers, and you absolutely should if you feel your care is inadequate. I've posted resources regarding medical self-advocacy before that I regretfully cannot spend the time digging up right now. I've said it once and I'll say it again, if you feel your doctor is not giving you proper treatment, listening to you, makes you uncomfortable, or any other reason you SHOULD seek out a different physician. Only you can advocate for yourself in this regard, so if you refuse to speak up or look into a different doctor then there is no one to blame but yourself.
I live in the 2nd reddest state in the US. The absolute last thing you need to preach to me about is LGBT care. Again, advocate for yourself. If a doctor or nurse or anyone misgenders you in a clinical setting, correct them loudly and unashamedly. If they persist, you are capable of filing a complaint. Report medical practicioners that disrespect you. If you don't, you are part of the problem. Furthermore (as someone who has worked in clinical settings before) they should be using your name to call you back to the offices, not any honorifics like mister or miss. I have been called back by my first name or by my last name, but NEVER by Miss [name]. Maybe this varies from state to state but it is still something only you have the power to correct.
I'm not speaking as a "cis person", I'm speaking as a bisexual woman who has also faced medical discrimination and knows what to do about it. I don't have to be transgender to understand what this is like, because it's my lived experience as well. I'm not really the one missing nuance here. I'm speaking as someone with a passionate love for humanity who is an advocate for sexual and reproductive rights with many, many trans friends who also has faced medical discrimination and is encouraging people who may face sex specific conditions to seek care for their own sake because it is better to be misgendered than dead, and so many trans people will agree with this. Get sex specific healthcare because it can very literally be a matter of life and death.
Before I get into this post I want to make it abundantly clear that I fullheartedly support trans people. Trans women are women and trans men are men, so don't get it fucking twisted.
But we need to abolish this idea that biological sex doesn't matter because there are very valid reasons where your birth sex is incredibly important. There are X and Y linked disorders that favor or are exclusive to each sex. No amount of hormones in the world will cure things like hemophilia A, Hunter Syndrome, Turner Syndrome, or Duchenne muscular dystrophy. If you are a trans man, you are at risk for things like ovarian cancer or cervical cancer, and trans women have to worry about prostate cancer and testicular cancer. Fortunately, most of these worries can be abetted with gender affirming care, but this isn't accessible to everyone, especially in the United States. I deeply sympathize with anyone who experiences gender dysphoria but you need to take care of your health. Better to face temporary discomfort in the waiting room of your doctor's office than to die prematurely.
If it helps, HIPAA means that your physician cannot give anyone your medical history without consent. As long as you don't say anything, no one there will know you're trans or that you're there for sex specific healthcare. As far as anyone knows, the trans man sitting in the waiting room of an OBGYN is merely an expecting father or a relative of someone getting care. Either way, it's none of their goddamn business.
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