#will probably forget this post exist when I wake up
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Had the urge to draw themâŚ
#maria hill#natasha romanoff#blackhill#maria hill x natasha romanoff#ca:tws#so called art#I still cant fucking draw#literally searched up how to draw chibi since I knew if I didnt id still be trying and failing to draw actual proportions#it was either drawing or baking since i was taking a small break from looking for a fic#and I already made cream puffs yesterday#just me or does the nat i drew look kinda like wanda#marias looks so pale#too tired to fix rn#will probably forget this post exist when I wake up
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TW(?): themes of self destruction, chronic pain and venting
Ykw, the thing about pain is it doesnât just âget better.â Fuck no. It moves in, sets up shop, settles into every nerve, every thought until its not just a feeling anymore, itâs the background noise of ur life.
Ive gotten to a point where happiness feels like a trap because the minute I think maybe, just maybe, something good might last I feel that sting of foreboding.
And you know what? self-destruction doesnât look so irrational anymore. The pain never stops, and I feel like theres this sick kind of relief in tearing things down yourself. like beating the world to the punch. You think ah maybe if you can just ruin things on your own terms, youâll take back some control. But thatâs a lie too isnt it. The painâs smarter than that cuz its already two steps ahead, feeding on every ounce of anger, every moment you try to fight it. It wants you broken.
And Iâm tired. Tired of the weight, tired of pretending that tomorrows going to be different. The world keeps throwing âhopeâ at me, like Im supposed to reach for it, but all I see is a shiny package with nothing inside. The pain is so fucking real, the rest of it happiness, peace thatâs the lie. And maybe Iâm okay with that. Maybe, if destruction is all Ive got left, at least its mine.
#vent post#bitter sweet existence#i am so tired#chronic pain#im just not#i feel bitter and frustrated#fuck being greatful#sometimes hope just sucks.#screaminh into the void#literally watch me forget how im feeling rn when i wake up tmr#im probably overthinking it#this is what trans looks like#i hate being trans lololol#also fuck pain#i feel out of control#and#out of place#i feel lost#:33333#im just silly#thoughts#vent thoughts
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The Twitter Marriage
(Oscar Piastri x fem!driver!reader)
Yn Ln has had a crush on fellow driver Oscar Piastri since their f2 days but she never and will never tell him.... at least not to his face
or
In which Aston Martin driver needed the alcohol to confess her feelings
N.B: rushed a bit cause of finals, but I hope you like it. Also, doesn't follow any timeline tbh. NOTHING IN THIS IS ADDS UP IN REGARDS OF DATES AND CHARACTERS AND STUFF, IT IS JUST FOR FUN.
WARNINGS: REALLY BAD PICK UP LINES, SOME SWEAR WORDS. Probably some spelling mistakes as well. Short fic.
faceclaim: sabrina carpenter
Masterlist
Liked by ynmyworld, f1memes, charliethesinglemom and 168,920 others
Keepingupw/f1: Aston Martin driver, Yn Ln, tweets as she celebrates her p3 in Monaco.... it seems like she has something to say to fellow driver, Oscar Piastri.
username: the entire grid is just having fun with that joke.
username: miss ma'am, STAND UP!!
username: what do you mean stand up? SHE FOLDED LIKE A CHAIR
username: understandably so tbf
username: no but her offering to make Spain Oscar's home race LIKE CARLOS ISN'T LOOKING FOR THAT MAN'S BLOOD.
username: so foul of her đ
username: her tagging him is insane
username: pr is gonna have a headache tomorrow
username: the fact that she's tweeting this shit while in a club, WHERE OSCAR IS A FEW METERS AWAY FROM HER
username: you know she's out of it when she starts using twitter.
Liked by F1_updates_live, ynmyqueen, oscaroopastryy and 184,710 others
Keepingupw/f1: yn ln on her way back to the hotel last night after celebrating her Monaco podium.
username: she got wasted omg
username: now those tweets make sense
username: where did she even get the shoe box from
username: and where did her shoes go, papers fell out of that thing
username: so are you guys gonna post the video or?
username: what video?
username: there's a video going on twitter where these pics are taken from she was so drunk, she was actually dancing in the middle of Monaco (go queen, live your best life) and then the papers fell out of the box and she immediately went down to pick them up and put them back but then after she was halfway through she kept looking at the ground then at the box and then at her feet, you can see her pouting as she kept putting away the little papers in the box again
username: shut upp!!! I need that video! IT IS A LIFE SAVING MATTER ATP
username: yn ln is gonna be the death of me
yn ln has shared a story
text: when you wake up to a video of drunk you on the streets of Monaco and some tweets that should've gone with you to the grave
yn ln has shared a story
text: self pity and cringe time over, back to our regular schedule of slaying
Sebastian Vettel has shared a story
text: someone tell her that staying with me till the Spanish GP isn't going to make people forget that she exists
yn ln has replied to your story: your kids love me! AND SO DOES HANNA
yn ln has replied to your story: also, please take pity on me, I can't face him again, ever, I will just retire, I can't do this
yn ln has replied to your story: why are you ignoring meeeee!!! Not you too, Oscar is already doing thaaaat, I wanna turn into a worm, I'd die quicker if I was a worm, I wouldn't have to go through this much embarrassment if I was a worm
Sebastian Vettel replied to your message: are you drunk right now?
Liked by pierregasly, wtf1, oscaroopastryy and 268,715 others
Keepingupw/f1: we bring you part 2 of the osyn saga
username: i love this family
username: yn is such a pr nightmare
username: the ACTUAL child of fernando
username: wait, now that you reminded me, I need to update the family tree
username: post the updated family tree you coward
username: anyone who doesn't watch f1 will 100% believe that Charles and Nicole are Oscar's parents
username: hey, don't disrespect charles' heartfelt adoption like that
username: this sport is so fucking unserious
username: I refuse to believe that this is real
Sebastian Vettel has shared a story
Text: huh..... it's not so bad having her here
Liked by OscarPiastri, Charles_leclerc, Arthur_leclerc and 918,037 others
yn ln: let her cook now đ§Ą
username: yn.... yn..... YN.... WHAT ARE YOU COOKING YN
username: it has started, I can feel it in my bones
username: so she's with Oscar now, good to know (screaming into my pillow as I type)
username: oh so if I wear orange I'm dating Lando now, nice to know ig
username: fuck off away from my replies, I wanna have fun
username: yn pls don't, I can't lose you, you were the only wife left standing
username: PLS TELL ME THAT MY SHIP SAILED
username: if I see that australian's face anywhere on this account I will start biting ankles
username: ok Leo, geez, no need to terrorise your sister-in-law
username: I can't believe she was simping on main for a boy that goes 'wut'
Liked by Ynln, pierregasly, Arthur_leclerc and 890,627 others
Oscar Piastri: let him cook đ
username: nope, no, nuuh, I see nothing
username: other partner's team colors, matching captions, liking the posts..... yup, they're officially dating
username: we lost her to a mini kimi raikkonen
username: I see that as a win tbh
username: kimi was and is the IT girl of the grid
username: how dare you forget about our very own Britney Spears.... nico you will always be missed
username: you can't prove that they're dating from just that
username: oh boy, the delulu is strong with this one
Oscar Piastri and Yn Ln shared a post
Liked by Charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 903,815 others
Yn ln & Oscar Piastri: I said let them cook đđ§Ą
username: YES YES YES YES YES YES
username: MY PARENTS
username: This is why women shouldn't be in f1, wtf is wrong with Oscar? Why would he date yn? And what is this hand placement? Where can I get a yn? Or an oscar?
username: slowly deleting my paragraph
username: had us the first half, ngl
username: yn hide oscar really well during the Spain GP, we leave his safety in your hands
username: THE CURLS OMG
username: MR OSCAR JACK PIASTRI WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOUR WHAT IS THIS HAND PLACEMENT
#oscar piastri x oc#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x yn#f1 x reader#oscar piastri x fem!reader#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri smau#f1 smau#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x oc#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 smau#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri fluff#f1 imagine#f1 social media au
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âMagic pocket pussyâ
Synopsis: DOL NPCS acquiring a magical pocket pussy synced to you.
Contains: afab!gn!reader, discipline, multi penetration, noncon, overstimulation, somnopihlia, toys
Words: 588
A/N: I only differentiated yandere!sirris from his normal conterpart as he is the only character I can imagine having drastically different behavior for this particular prompt. You canât convince me Gwylan isnât cooking up magic (probably illicit substances as well) in their shop. Something about them feels underlined with nefarious intent. Iâd like to flesh out this concept with some of the characters at some point; thereâs so much nuance and potential.
Abuses the hell out of it
With access to your cunt at all times, your pussy will be consistently puffy and raw from abuse. Heâs stuffing you with cock whenever the urge strikes, torturing you with toys when his dick canât keep up with his libido. He purposely teases you at inconvenient times. Watching you struggle to maintain composure in public is his favorite pastime. Most nights you wake up to the feeling of an invisible cock dragging along your gummy walls. If for whatever reason he canât torment you at night, the pocket pussy is being stuffed with a vibrator so you wake up drenched in the morning. Heâll insert random objects throughout the day of various sizes and shapes, all to watch you squirm. Sometimes heâll cram the largest dildo he can find inside to see you waddle around town in discomfort. Heâs likely to fill the silicone hole with a dildo or vibrator of some sortâpossibly both or even multiple of eachâand then fuck you for real with the toys still inside. Really though, seeing your reactions is his favorite part of all. While your real pussy will always reign supreme, thereâs a charm to watching you break apart without even actually touching you. The fleshlight is just so convenient.
⼠Anxious Gaurd, Briar, Kylar, C!Sydney, Leighton, Morgan, Quinn, Scarred Inmate, Whitney, Wren, yan!Sirris
Generally only when youâre not available
He doesnât usually care for toys (why bother when he has you), but this one is an exception. Itâs hardly a replacement for the real thing, but he can at least admit the convenience is alluring. Itâs not all too often it gets used, but there are times when he misses you and canât resist. Itâs just so easy to punish you for being away for too long or simply to remind you of them. He could always just shove a vibrator inside and forget about it if he feels like it. Watching you fall apart without touching you proves enjoyable, as well. Thereâs a possibility he could even order a custom dildo, a replica of his length, to stuff the silicone cunt with, so you seek them out sooner. No chance you can forget about him when you canât even sit. This opens the possibility of double stuffing you using only their dick. The longer you avoid them, the less patience and willpower theyâll have, therefore being less likely to wait.
⼠Alex, Avery, Bailey, Black Wolf, Eden, Great Hawk, Gwylan, Harper, Landry, Methodical Gaurd, Niki, Relaxed Gaurd, Remy, Veteran Gaurd, Zephyr
Only once in a moment weakness
Heâs rather unlikely to use any toy, let alone a magical onahole. Just owning the thing feels like a breach of trust, but they canât risk having it fall into anyone elseâs hands. It sits in a drawer, hidden away until he eventually forgets about it. Itâs not until heâs humping a pillow in the pitch dark of his room that he remembers it exists. Heâll scold himself, suddenly too ashamed to feel horny. Days will go by, constantly plagued by curiosity. When he finally concedes, apologies will spill from his lips as he rocks his hips into the silicone. It feels so good, and he wonders if youâre feeling the same. More than that, he wonders if the real thingâthe real youâfeels this good. His orgasm is the most intense heâs ever felt, electricity taking over him and his essence flooding the silicone imitation of you. The post-nut clarity is potent, mortifying. Heâll avoid you for some time after that, unable to even look you in the eye for even longer. Shame creeps along his spine like a parasite, vowing never to lose control like that again. Below the guilt, desire grows and bites at his willpower. Who knows how long itâll be before he gives in again?
⼠Charilie, Darryl, Doren, P!Sydney, Jordan, Mason, Mickey, River, Robin, Sam, Sirris, Winter,
Bonus
The likely creator of said pocket pussy
⼠Gwylan
#afab reader#gn reader#tw: noncon#tw: overstimulation#tw: somnophilia#pocket pussy#degrees of lewdity x reader#degrees of lewdity#dol headcanons#dol#dol x reader#alex the farmhand#avery the businessperson#eden the hunter#kylar the loner#sydney the fallen#sydney the faithful#whitney the bully#sirris the science teacher#wren the smuggler#bailey the caretaker#harper the doctor#remy the farmer#winter the history teacher#doren the english teacher#robin the orphan#mal.mine#leighton the headteacher#mdni#gwylan the shopkeeper
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i was just minding my business like scrolling to find new fics to read since i was so so bored and while i was finding some delicious fics (ahem ahem: yandere big brother bakugou x little sister reader) ur post suddenly idk the word (lumitaw (its a filo word)) and i was screaming and immediately dropped what i was supposed to read to read yours ��đđ
i got the worst memory ever to exist because i keep forgetting their names but i think i'll grasp them once the next chapter is out (hopefully) but yeaaah!!! baris reminds me of abbas in a way but ig he's a bit more.. brute yk what im talking about????? ig he's ok..
OH! and i have a theory about the painting, y/n's face getting smudged maybe because baldwin or SALAUDDIN decided to smudged it to forget how they look due to heartbroken (prob not baldwin,, but i feel like salauddin would do that ??) i guess im getting married again đđ i feel like im betraying my pookie salauddin đđđđđ BUT ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE SNOW!!!! AMAZING AS ALWAYS!! can't wait for the next one already!! đđđ i think i'll send more of my thoughts if something crosses over my mind (prob when im in the shower)
ooohh i like your theory(portrait pictures at the end). i like it a lot. expanding on it:
Baldwin would probably cause the painting to be smudged because he's kissing it, kissing your lips, drunk off his mind, tears streaming down his cheek as he spends hours sitting in front of it, talking to the painting as if u still exist, begging u to come back from heaven, even apologising for all he's done, just please- come back, angel...
Meanwhile Salauddin would probably be staring at your portrait angrily. He understands why you had to leave but.... you couldnt have told him where you were goinh? Do you not think he couldve protected you? He wouldve used his whole army, gathered Muslims from all around the world to protect you. Did you... did you not have the least bit faith in him? deep down, he knows u did this to prevent a war between him and baldwin but.... Salauddin wouldve gone to war for you. Happily. This wasnt your decision to make alone. Now, he stands in front of your portrait, he has it in his palace now, and he doesnt say voice it out like baldwin, but he has complaints. HE keeps them inside, mentally talking to you, telling you just how stupid you were for sacrificing yourself, for jumping off that stupid cliff. How u shouldve just- just asked him for help ONCE, and he wouldve fought until his last breath if it meant keeping u safe. In his mind, u sacrificed yourself to protect Baldwin from murdering innocent muslims or anyone else u wouldve seeked help from.
And now? All Salauddin can do is pray for you. He wakes up late into the night and sits on the prayer mat, making dua for you for hours, reading Quran for you, has animals slaughtered on eid on your behalf, even doing charity and hajj (pilgrimage) on your behalf, just so that you can have more good deeds in your name. He still has the chess board u gifted him, but he's stopped playing chess. He never played the game again, it was only a painful reminder of you. The one person who he could never beat.
As for your painting, why it was smudged? Salauddin didnt want anyone to see your beauty, thats why he kept the portrait hidden in his room, but then he feared that one day when he's not around anymore, someone will see you. So, he used a rag soaked in turpentine to smudge your face, but couldnt do more than just the bottom half of your face. He thought that was fine, after all, thats how u did often appear when you were around, wearing a niqaab, a veil that covered your face.
Now that he looks at your eyes, he realises his mistake. He heard the wise tell him-
"Eyes are the windows to the soul."
He now knows it to be true.
This is what I think the portraits look like:
Notice that this is the earrings Salauddin gifted Y/n when she was in the market with him:
How Baldwin's been:
#yandere baldwin#yandere Salauddin#king baldwin x reader#baldwin#baldwin x reader#king baldwin iv#king baldwin x you#Salauddin#Salauddin x reader#time traveller au#yandere x reader#yandere x#yandere x you#male yandere
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episode 19
as you can probably tell, i've thought a lot about what post-canon one would look like in my vision... i've said before that i have issues with straightforward fix-its, and i do genuinely love the tragic open-ended conclusion that the series has, but i... am not immune to playing with characters like dolls LOL
here's some writeups about where everyone is at mentally in these pictures. please please please PLEEEASE feel free to ask me more about this cuz i love talking about my beautiful mind palace
charlotte: somehow the most optimistic person in here, mostly out of necessity. when she died, she saw parker leading her out of a cave as her waiting room and was about to take his hand when airy respawned her, so she has a brief moment of bonding with bryce when he talks about the waiting room and seeing stella. with the knowledge that there is potentially a way to get out (bryce and liam being the proof) and the fear of rotting away again she is by far the most actively motivated to help liam figure out the computer. a lot of her days are spent talking to liam over the mic and writing out the code in the dirt so she can try to understand it. she still has to push against her natural misanthropy (and often shouts at liam or bryce for being fucking stupid and useless) but both working on the code and helping amelia give her something concrete to focus on outside herself. she wants to get home so she can make amends with her friends. charlotte is scared of dying! she's really genuinely horribly scared of dying and has awful vivid nightmares about rotting away. she often pushes amelia into talking about her life which causes some tension, but it's because she really hates seeing amelia lose herself like that - a metaphorical rotting away of the self.
subway seat & atom: not on the same level of pure existential depression as the batch 1 contestants, but they both feel the hopeless mood pretty harshly regardless. subway feels very lonely as the only hidden object still 'awake', and likes to carry whippy creamy around rather than just leave him sitting on the ground constantly. tray is too big and unwieldy for him to do that with, but he 'hangs out' with her anyway, talking to her and whippy creamy in the hopes that it'll get them to want to wake up again. atom doesn't talk much, but he still carries his piece of grass. he's definitely the person who's the least affected by the prospect of being stuck on the plane forever, since he⌠doesn't really perceive existence in the same way as everyone else? he's an atom. but his time in the competition definitely made him view everyone else as friends, and he feels even more powerless than usual in the face of this incomprehensibly difficult problem.
amelia: falls into total hopelessness when bryce rejoins, basically seeing it as the final sign that they're never going home. still calls everyone their competition names (she actually gets into a big fight with bryce about it lol). she gets really clingy and dependent on bryce when he first comes back but it crashes and burns pretty quickly when, during an argument, bryce tells her how much he wishes he could just go back and never have let liam in and forgot about everything⌠which really sucks for amelia to hear, given that she's part of that everything. after that, with bryce isolating himself, she's kind of reliant on charlotte to keep her going. she blames liam for airy dying and secretly kind of thinks he killed him but just isn't telling them⌠she also doesn't really believe there's any way of getting out and is just kind of waiting around to die of, like, old age i guess. after how long she's been here, amelia is convinced that she has nothing to even go back to and frequently forgets details about her life. regularly cries and hates being alone. the shift markings on the side of the water tub have changed from being a way to keep track of time and stay sane to a horrible reminder of how long they've been here and how much longer of an eternity they have before them.
bryce: hates himself and liam and airy and the plane and his entire stupid fucking life. bryce is really, really fucking pissed off at liam for losing the notes and letting texty die and every other mistake he's made, and isn't shy about telling him that. as well as being angry, he's also incredibly miserable, because he was finally starting to turn his life around (he quit drinking after the plane) and now it's all for nothing - and even worse, those 7 months he spent getting better were 7 months he did nothing to help the rest of them, especially amelia. he's horribly guilty about that, and that he didn't tell amelia about the fake votes before he was eliminated⌠but finds it easier to just let liam take the heat for that one at first. after he fights with amelia about it he becomes a bit of a hermit, hanging out by himself next to the plug, and never responds when liam tries to talk. contemplates suicide regularly but pretty much the only option is drowning himself, and the idea of that still scares him more than staying like this forever. would kill for a beer.
liam: tortured by horrible guilt every day over a million different things. these include getting bryce pulled back into this (plus delayed guilt over getting him for real killed), letting texty die and not saying anything about the charger, not telling amelia that everything was fake, knowing that charlotte is going to die if he doesn't get really smart really fast⌠he's frequently gripped by fits of rage where he almost smashes the computer and has to hobble around outside with the axe for a while to blow off steam. he has really bad nightmares and dissociative episodes, made worse by the isolation and spending hours in a dark cave. liam really wants to fix things with everyone but genuinely has no idea how to start that conversation. he assumes airy killed himself (and views it as an unforgiveably cowardly move) and directs a lot of resentment towards him. he has a lot of things he wants to say, especially to bryce, but the fact that he cant talk to anybody one on one makes things difficult. spends a lot of time just reading through the code, too afraid to actually make any changes in case everyone explodes, but talking it through with charlotte at least makes him feel like he's doing something. more than he would like to admit, liam catches himself staring at the plane as if it's a simulation or a livestream.
#hfjone#charlotte stern#amelia euler#bryce hansen#liam plecak#hfjone subway seat#hfjone atom#feels wrong to tag whippy creamy and tray but theyre there too.. sort of#my art#kind of proud of these i dunnooooooo i had fun playing with a new brush and light and whatnot. Whatever. Go my scarab
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amnesia buddie fics
this list has different rated fics, so please look at the rating make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)
i'll feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe by: turningthepages "just another hollywood amnesia story the fandom probably didn't need but lived in my head rent free for too long." word count: 128k rating: mature important tags: married!buddie, car accidents, hurt/comfort, family feels, insecure!evan buckley, future fic buy back the secrets by: allyasavedtheday "after getting hurt on a call, buck wakes up thinking it's 2018. aka buck can't remember who eddie is but he's pretty sure everyone's lying when they say they're "just friends." word count: 18k rating: teen and up important tags: hurt/comfort, oblivious!eddie diaz, friends to lovers, love confessions you've got the antidote by: hattalove "in which buck is a little high, and shirts are difficult." word count: 4.2k rating: teen and up important tags: anaesthesia, pining, fluff, getting together i think i belong to you (hope you feel the same) by: ran "the one where eddie wakes up from the shooting only to think he was hurt in a certain 7.1 earthquake years prior and learns to appreciate the life he's created for himself since then." word count: 41k rating: teen and up important tags: ptsd, therapy, falling in love, hurt/comfort, angst, love confessions, post-shooting (s4e14) house of forgotten memories by: not1_2write "eddie decides to take a risk. he's a grown man. he can ask Buck out on a date. what could possibly go wrong? three weeks later, clutching a comatose buck's hand and waiting for him to wake up from a traumatic brain injury, eddie gets his answer." word count: 35k rating: teen and up important tags: coma, hurt/comfort, angst, hurt!evan buckley, team as family, getting together, family feels, whump, mutual pining forget-me-nots by: withmeornotatall "eddie wakes up from the ambush, not in the deserts of afghanistan, but the deserts of los angeles and finds out he's missing eight years of his life. somehow, that's worse than falling from the sky and three gunshot wounds." word count: 13k rating: general audience important tags: established relationship, hurt/comfort, internalised homophobia, fluff, angst, team as family what do i say (to make me exist?) by: cuddlyobrien "buck gets hurt at chim & maddieâs wedding, earning some temporary amnesia and thinks he was marrying eddie. the doctor advises they let him believe it. eddie is stressed from day one" word count: 27k rating: explicit important tags: fake dating, mutual pining, post season 6, anal sex, blow jobs, riding come back to me by: jayjay__884 "an accident at the job lands buck in hospital after falling through a 4-story building. his loved ones are by his bedside when buck is placed in an induced coma to help his recovery in hopes he will eventually wake up." word count: 191k rating: explicit important tags: married!buddie, soft!buddie, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, coma, falling in love, parenthood something that i missed by: foxwatson "the one where buck and eddie get together the night before a shift - and the next day, an accident erases eddie's memory of the last 24 hours." word count: 8.5k rating: teen and up important tags: idiots to lovers, angst, getting together, first kiss your memories feels like home to me by: goforeddie "in which eddie loses about eight year of his life and things are⌠heavily different than he last remember." word count: 29k rating: mature important tags: married!buddie, angst, girl dads!buddie, fluff, eventual smut remember to remember me by: daffi_990_ao3 "buck and eddie finally get together only for lightning to strike a few days later, leaving buck with no memories of them ever becoming a couple." word count: 31k rating: explicit important tags: getting together, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, angst, boys in love, anal sex, blow jobs, riding, dirty talk
#buck x eddie#buck x eddie fic#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie fic#911 abc#911 show#911 fandom#buddie fics#buddie fic rec#911 fic rec#evan buck buckley#buck x eddie fanfics#buck x eddie smut#buddie recommendations#buddie smut#buddie recs
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(dazai osamu birthday post- 2024)
A Taste of Sunlight
Dazai Osamu/gn! Reader (oneshot)
cws: gn! reader (uses of 'bella(donna)') but gender not explicitly stated, mentions of suicide and self harm, mentions of cigarettes and alcohol, ada dazai, ada reader, coworkers/friends to lovers, domestic love, domestic fluff, implied mutual pining, mentions of dazai's past suicide attempts, dazai's past spoilers, dazai's dark thoughts, dazai calling himself inhuman and undeserving, baking together, dazai's birthday, reader is dazai's safe space
wc: about 3.7k
summary: how will reader make dazai feel special on his birthday when he doesn't feel like he deserves to?
a/n: this turned out a little darker with dazai's thoughts than I thought it would, but i'm satisfied with how i wrapped things up! i know it's been awhile since i posted my own writing- burnout hit me pretty hard and it's been difficult to get back on my feet, but i knew i had to do something special for him (âĄËÍ ęł ËÍ)
Ę âââď˝Ľŕ¨ ę¤ ŕ§ď˝Ľâââ É
Ceilings, plaster. Canât someone just make it move faster? Abandoned bottles of sake scattered on the tatami mat floor of his bedroom catch the light of the late morning sun as it creeps in through the curtains he keeps forgetting to close. Or rather, the curtains he can never bother to close on certain nights. He never forgets, not really. The dusty little fan in the corner of his room does little to break up the lingering staleness which hangs in the air. You should really open a window in here Dazai-kun, he heard your voice echo in the basement of his mind, Sunlight and fresh air are good for you. You were probably right. Sunlight and fresh air are good for you, everyone knows that. You somehow always are right about him.Â
The sun had already found his skin that morning- or rather, the shield of cloth he uses to hide the vast nothingness underneath. The icky, inhuman blackness that he would never allow a creature like you to even brush with your fingertips. For the first time that day since observing the sun come up out his window with hollow eyes and a blank expression, Dazai sat up. Ignoring the slight ache in his head and soreness of his muscles, bandages seeming to be the only thing holding him together, Dazai arose from his futon and silently slumped to his kitchen to down a glass of water. Today was a pointless day. One that shouldnât have happened at all. Probably one of the worst of Dazaiâs life, save for a few particularly nightmarish ones. Nightmares. Maybe heâd wake up, wake up as somebody completely different; or as an old man, and realize that the countertop in front of him and fingers wrapped around the sturdy white mug in his grasp were all really from a time long gone. The mugâs black, dotted on eyes stared back up at him, Dazaiâs own brown ones focused, the emotion behind them simply indescribable. Part of Dazai feared waking up too. Something light, something warm, managed to flicker in the cavern of his chest at the memory of the grin that had spread across your lips upon presenting him with the cat mug. A grin you only ever seemed to take on for his eyes. You, he should be ashamed of himself for allowing skin so pure to meet with his own bloody, bandaged hands. Muddled flesh that hardly ever got a taste of the sunlight which always seemed to bathe the surface of your skin. Dazai Osamu had always been a sinner, would it really make his eternal damnation that much worse if he decided to linger in your comforting embrace for a moment longer?Â
Yes, today never should have happened. The first one so many years ago, and all the years of bloodshed, soiled bandages, and regret that followed. The number taunted him from the calendar Kunikida had insisted he hang up on his wall, your support in the idea being the only reason he had gone through with it at all. 06 19. The nineteenth of June. June 19th. Definitely some sort of horrible mistake by the gods of this universe. If they even existed. Itâs hard to surprise Dazai Osamu. Most things can be predicted- whether it be by pattern of behavior⌠calculated likelihood, or something else of the like. Dazai thought- and still did- that it would be tragically poetic if the date of birth and the date of death on a gravestone perfectly matched. Right down to the date of the month. Yes, a perfectly beautiful idea of a gravestone Dazai had tried a handful of times to make his own. He had the scars to prove it. Aside from empty âhappy birthdayâs from the other executives, there were only really two people in the mafia who placed any sort of importance on Dazaiâs birthday. None of that mattered now. Of course, in reality, all of it mattered. It was what led him here, to the light which now poured in through the window in the living room of his little apartment. In the almost two years Dazai had been employed at the Armed Detective Agency, heâd had one birthday. He was new enough in the office last year that the prospect of his colleagues doing anything to commemorate the event was not very keen. Such was his hope. He did get a lollipop from Ranpo and a âhappy birthdayâ from Kunikida; the blonde did not get on Dazaiâs back over his paperwork for the whole day. That was, until you first stepped foot into the agency a few months into Dazaiâs employment. Ironically, in spite of all the warm welcomes you received from his colleagues, the brunette found himself extremely suspicious of you. No one could possibly charm that many detectives with nothing but a bit of sweetness and an even sugarier smile. Not just anyone could possibly hold that much warmth in their laughter and still have so much to share. That smile of yours. Dazai had ended many lives for many different reasons, despite having failed at cutting his own short so many times. Rarely did he ever spill blood to protect someone- much less because of some irrational, sentimental attachment. If not for his years in the mafia, it probably would have frightened Dazai to realize how easily he would watch the world burn if it meant that smile of yours would be safe. As it turns out, Dazai wasnât entirely wrong. You werenât just anyone- you were Name. You, who he didnât deserve to even stand anywhere near. Who shouldnât even bother buying someone like him some cat mug that made you think of him. He never knew he could be so emotionally attached to a piece of ceramic. But that was nothing compared to the way you made his head spin. You would let out a giggle while calling him a flirt for the millionth time. You would share your umbrella with him on a rainy day, circle his birthday in a bright red marker on the little calendar sitting neatly on your desk. The desk right across from his. Heâd pretend to not notice the glances you steal because he knows heâs far worse. Buying each other coffee on occasion- usual orders memorized. Experiencing such simple pleasures on a weekly basis- how could anyone have not expected Dazai to fall as hard as he did?Â
The thing that broke him out of his trance were four soft knocks on the door. The same way you would knock on the wood of his desk to discreetly get his attention. Dazai was about to dismiss the four knocks as a phantom of his imagination before they sounded again, causing him to turn his head and peer at the door as if it had just grown a pair of wings and flown away. Before you could get the chance to knock again or ring his phone, Dazai ran a bandaged hand through his scruffy locks before brightening up his expression slightly and opening the door. And there you were- not unlike the sunlight which flooded in through the entryway, the first thing you did was send prickles of warmth into his skin and allow that smile of yours to glow.Â
âAh, Bella! I didnât expect to see you here today,â Dazai greeted you with a singsong voice, âYouâre looking as radiant as ever. To what do I owe this pleasure?â Dazai held his mask up for the whole sixty seconds it took you to reply. In that time, your honeyed eyes scanned over the expanse of his face in a way only you could make so overwhelming. The grin on his lips, though meticulously crafted, failed to meet his eyes. He knew you could tell the moment your irises flickered with an emotion far too deep for Dazai to have the energy to explore. You somehow always were right about him. It didnât take much longer for you to ask if you could come in for a while, and Dazai accepted as if heâd ever have the strength to refuse. The fabric tote bag clunked with weight as you placed it on his kitchen counter, Dazai trailed behind you as if your torsos were connected by some invisible string. His eyes reminded you of a burnt black cat.
As far as cooking came, Dazai knew how to prepare a few basic things. How to scramble eggs, how to steam rice, how to use the microwave, how to open a can of crabs. It had always been too much of a nuisance to bother with anything more. The cigarettes and sake sustained him well enough. Even so, he found himself peering over your shoulder with dark, curious eyes as you unpacked several ingredients and laid them neatly on the counter.
âMy my, did you go shopping for me? How thoughtful,â a small grin played on Dazaiâs lips as he held up a tiny bottle of vanilla extract with an inspectful eye. Uncapping the bottle, he took a moment to inhale the scent, goosebumps rising underneath the bandages on the back of his neck at how much it reminded him of your usual shampoo.
âYou like cheesecake, right?â you asked, voice a gentle breeze as you tilted your head in his direction. Itâs hard to surprise Dazai Osamu. He paused momentarily, raising an eyebrow as you cleaned your hands in the sink. How you came to acquire such a fact was beyond him. Your fingers then reached out to preheat the oven, the one he usually didnât spare so much as a glance. âIâve only had the chance to taste it a handful of times, but I do have to admit, Iâm a fan,â Dazai replied. You were smart enough to bring your own mixing bowls, pans, and stirring utensils. Sometimes he questioned how he ever allowed you to come to know him so well. âIf you wanna help me, would you mind washing your hands first, please?â you requested, and Dazai didnât even wait a moment before turning to the sink.Â
You did a better job of filling his apartment with warmth and light than the sun ever could. From the way your shoes sat at the front door right next to his own to the way your perfume would linger around after youâd taken your leave. Your fingers would cup over his own as you demonstrated how to properly stir the ingredients together. He would internally curse the persistence of the butterfly in his chest when you commented on how pretty you thought his hands were. You made his sparsely decorated, thin-walled little apartment feel just a little more like a home. Dazai waited patiently with the batter in his arms as you pressed the buttery graham cracker crust firmly into the pan. If the universe were kind, he would have been allowed to stand there and take you in until the end of time. He knew he probably wouldnât ever deserve to have someone like you in his life. Not the way your eyes softened when they met his, not the way you flushed so beautifully in response to his compliments and praise. He didnât think heâd ever be able to give you as much as you deserve. He didnât even come close to deserving the trust you must have had in him that evening on the metro, when you slept on the shoulder of his coat. Both of you missed your stops that day. How could anyone have expected him to have the heart to disturb you? They were the ones who whispered how he didnât even have one.
Before he knew it, the cake was almost ready to be placed in the oven. Your fingers cupped his own once more as you helped him pour the batter evenly before scraping the last bit out with the blue silicone spatula from your bag. He spun the pan in a circle on the countertop to even the batter as you slipped a pair of well used oven mitts onto your hands. âLooks perfect,â you offered some gentle praise and he felt his heart soften. Once the batter had been slid into the warmth of the oven, you removed the floral print oven mitts from your hands and leaned against the counter with a sigh. Dazaiâs eyes were drawn to the way your fingers were delicately folded in front of you, how soft your skin looked and how it might feel against his own. From the gentle curve of your lips to how your eyelashes brushed your cheeks and the way your eyes sparkled when you laughed⌠he found himself at a loss. You always somehow seemed to dwindle him to a shadow of his former self, bring out sides of him he didnât even know he had. Out of all the crimes Dazai had committed in his life, stealing your heart was by far the worst one. He didnât think heâd be able to give your heart back if he tried, especially when you held his own so easily in the palm of your hand. âHave you had water today?â you voiced, finally turning to bless him with your gaze. âI drank some just before you came, actually,â Dazai replied, eyes briefly flickering over to the now empty cat mug sitting on the counter. âWould you care for something to drink yourself? What might suit your fancy, mâlady?â He cocked his head playfully. Your eyes regarded his thoughtfulness. A look far too fond for someone like him. Especially from someone like you. âSome water might be nice, thank you.â âYou know I aim to please,â he nodded slightly, opening the fridge to get his pitcher.
A little while later, a timer went off on your phone, and Dazai tilted his head when you slid the oven mitts back on and set the cheesecake on the stovetop. âIsnât it a bit too soon, Bella?â he inquired, leaning over your shoulder as you grabbed a little green bowl that had previously been set aside, âThe center still looks a bit too mushy, doesn't it?â You hummed slightly, a pleased expression crossing your face. âLook at you, getting more adept at cooking already?â a soft grin played on your lips as you gave him an affectionate pat on his cheek. âIâm learning from the best,â Dazai replied, the corners of his eyes crinkling when he smiled. âYouâre right, itâs not quite done yet, but Iâm adding the topping now so it can cook a little with the cheesecake at the very end,â you explained as you carefully poured the topping on, âItâs usually done this way. Makes it yummier.â Itâs wrong, Dazai thinks, to indulge himself in your company like this. There are a million other better ways you could be spending your time. Not taking the time out of your day to come fan a flame already at the end of its wick. Even so, even if a part of Dazai might never allow himself to fully believe what you say when you tell him what kind of person he is in your precious eyes, nothing but being in your arms has ever felt so close to what others might describe as home. Not where he grew up, not his shitty old shipping container or the mattress on its rotting floor. Not any of the places he would lie awake at night hoping to waste away or any of the many bottles of sake that have met his lips. They filled his stomach, flushed his skin, but left his chest cold, barren, empty. âCherries are in season this time of year you know?â you said, sighing at the scent of the mashed up fruit and sugar bubbling in the pan in front of you. Combined with the warm scent of the cheesecake wafting from the oven, even Dazai, whose appetite usually didnât amount to much at all, found his mouth beginning to water. âAre they?â he tilted his head with a fond smile, imagining what it might be like to get used to having you in his kitchen more often. What a dream it would be to have coming home mean coming home to you. You looked so perfect in his apartment it almost hurt. Whether you were curled up on the cushions of his couch, cross legged on the floor, or standing in front of the stove pouring some homemade cherry sauce over a freshly made cheesecake, he would take it all. Savor every last bit of the warmth and light with which you filled his apartment. âWhy donât you open a window in here before we start eating?â you suggested, and Dazai let out a breath of resigned amusement. He stood from where he had been leaning against the countertop and strolled over to the living room. âHm, Bella, donât people usually eat cheesecake cold?â Dazai wondered, looking back at you for a moment as you grabbed a pair of forks from a drawer. âYeah, they do,â you replied, placing two equally sized slices of cheesecake onto one of the plates from Dazaiâs cabinet. He didnât have to remind you where they were kept. âBut personally I like eating it warm, I always have,â your lips curved up into a smile, âespecially when itâs freshly baked. Makes it yummier.â âHuh, well I trust your opinion,â he offered a slight smile, returning to take a seat at the little round table just as the two plates were lowered. The cheesecake looked even more appetizing now that it had been neatly sliced and plated, but nothing made him want to eat it more than the fact that it had been prepared by the loveliest pair of hands he had ever met.Â
Dazai took notice of the way you held your breath when he took his first bite; you shouldnât have been so anxious for the approval from the likes of him, yet he found it hard to get himself to care when you looked so downright adorable while doing it. His eyelids slid shut for a brief moment, being sure to completely savor the mouthful before swallowing with a bob of his throat and finally meeting your gaze with his own. âBellaâŚâ Dazai started, hands unmoving, voice lower than usual. You furrowed your brows when you couldnât decipher his tone. âWhat is it? Is it okay?â you leaned forward, eyes searching his face for any sort of indication. âDo⌠do you not like it?â something pulled tight in your chest at the thought, your grip on your fork stiffened slightly, âItâs okay if you donât, you can say so.â The following heartbeat of silence felt like it stretched on for an eternity. âBella youâve ruined me,â he sighed dramatically, slumping in his seat and placing the back of his hand on his forehead in exasperation, âHow am I ever supposed to enjoy anyone elseâs cheesecake ever again?â His heart nearly melted when you paired a blink with the slightest tilt of your head, he could see the wheels in your mind turning for answers. âSo you⌠do like it?â you spoke softly, as if afraid to disturb whatever strange state of emotion Dazai was using to express his feelings about the cheesecake. âNo, my Dear, Iâm afraid âlikeâ isnât nearly a strong enough word, not even close!â he suddenly sat up straight in his seat, âI love it so much, I donât think Iâll ever enjoy cheesecake ever again unless you make it for me.â Finally, Dazai gets his reward when a grin splits onto your lips. âIs that so?â you giggle when he cups your hands between his own and nods urgently. That smile of yours. âAbsolutely. Youâve doomed me to a pathetic existence,â Dazai pretended to cringe in pain, âforever wandering in search of the joy I once experienced, never knowing if-â â...Iâll do it again,â you said, and his ears perked up. âHmm? What was that? Youâll do what again?â he raised his eyebrows, satisfied with the flush now evident on your cheeks. âIâll make you cheesecake for your next birthday, and the one after that, and any time you want some in between,â you smiled sweetly, and Dazaiâs heart leapt at your sincerity. âDo you mean it?â his eyes seemed to light up slightly, matching the sparkle in your own. He squeezed your hands.Â
There was a saying in the Port Mafia. âThe biggest misfortune for Dazaiâs enemies is that they are Dazaiâs enemies.â Whether they called him a demon prodigy or the black wraith or a dog of the mafia really made no difference. When the sun set, they would be the ones quivering at the barrel of his gun as he listened to their pleas with cold, dead eyes. Dazai has been called by many names throughout his life; most, he knew, were well deserved. Even when addressed by his own name, it was usually out of exasperation, irritation, unease, or something else of the like. People spat his name with the bitter bite of a cold rain, and he couldnât even remember the last time someone uttered his given name very tenderly at all. It was dangerous, Dazai thought, how easily he could see himself growing used to being with you like this. Pathetic, how the Demon Prodigy of the Port Mafia was reduced to a shell of himself the moment you offered so much as a smile. The way you said his name made him seem like something precious; something worthy of getting to see that smile of yours, to have your eyes light up when they meet his.Â
âHappy birthday, Osamu,â you said, and god your voice had never sounded sweeter. Yes, youâve ruined him. Absolutely ruined him. Reduced him to a shadow of his former self with nothing but a bit of sweetness and an even sugarier smile, and the worst of it all was that you didnât even know it. You tore away all those layers of bandages, you reached out and touched something Dazai didnât even know he had. Even as his heart bled, you would cradle it close to your chest, whisper sweet nothings that everything would be alright. Dazai found himself inclined to believe you. Perhaps the reason he seemed to be without a heart for all those years of bloodshed, soiled bandages, and regret, was because it had been with you all along.Â
Ę âââď˝Ľŕ¨ ę¤ ŕ§ď˝Ľâââ É
a/n: thank you so much for reading! it means a lot- i hope you have a lovely day/night/morning/evening and remember to drink plenty of water! divider credit: (x) (x) tagging: @ringsofsaturnnnn
#dazai osamu#dazai#dazai bsd#bsd dazai#dazai bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai's birthday#character birthday#june 19th 2024#birthday post#birthday fic#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd fandom#bungou stray dogs fandom#cake#baking together#cheesecake#domestic#domesticity#domestic fluff#fluff#dazai fluff#dazai domestic fluff#dazai comfort#dazai x reader#dazai x gn reader#bsd x reader#bsd x gn reader#gn reader
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4dbarbie remix: You're dreaming from memory
4dkelly notes: This could be a good introductory pointer for those new to non-dualism. Probably my last remix for a while because they always start off as a fun or great idea that ends up taking way too much time and mental energy lol. Also I know it says 4dbarbie remix and it's because I extracted all the text from her posts but almost half of this adaptation post is made with direct or adapted excerpts from the book I Am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj as she often incorporated his words into her posts so it might be more accurate to call it a 4dbarbie and I Am That remix. I've marked extracts that are from the book with an asterisk (*). My highlight colour key: key concepts are in pink, action points in purple, really important points in red, my notes (which are minimal) in blue
There is nothing that exists. Only you do. 1 The only thing you know for sure is: 'here and now, I am'. Remove the 'here and now', the 'I am' remains, indisputable. The world exists in memory, memory comes into consciousness; consciousness exists in awareness and awareness is the reflection of the light on the waters of existence. 2*
The person is a very small thing. Actually it is a composite, it cannot be said to exist by itself. Unperceived, it is just not there. It is but the shadow of the mind, the sum total of memories. Pure being is reflected in the mirror of the mind, as knowing. What is known takes the shape of a person, based on memory and habit. It is but a shadow, or a projection of the knower onto the screen of the mind. 3*
You (Self) are projecting this very moment live. Nothing is happening to you, I mean literally. Nothing is out there. 4 Everything you see and experience is only a mental condition, a dream-like state, easy to dispel by questioning its reality. It's you imagining it as real and fighting it with all your might that keeps it alive. In this dream, you imagine yourself to be a process, to have a past and future, to have history. In fact, we have no history, we are not a process, we do not develop, nor decay. 5*
When you sleep at night, you think the world you're dreaming of is real. You wake up in the morning and you go on living in a different world, which you also think is real. But while you were in the first dream you had no memory of this world, did you? You come into the waking state and forget all about that dream (because you dismiss it as unreal & imagined so you have no reason to care once the experience is over). You're present in a second dream, and you deal with this one because now that's "what is real". But there is no difference between sleeping and waking, awareness is the background of both. You just think the waking state more real because you've dreamt it over and over and reinforced your belief. They're equally imaginary. 6
Each and every moment is projected on your consciousness but in reality, there is no link or cause between them. Memory gives the illusion of continuity and repetitiveness creates the idea of causality (e.g. I have blue eyes because I take after my mom). When things repeatedly happen together, we tend to see a causal link between them. It creates a mental habit, but a habit is not a necessity.* Drop it. You, now, even if recreated completely from memory and appearing the same, are still doing the creating/projecting live. It is all memory carried over into the now. You never move, your mind does. You don't arrive anywhere, you've always been there. You don't become, you already are. 1
Memory seems to being things to the present out of the past, but all that happens does happen in the present only. It is only in the now that phenomena manifest themselves. Thus, time and causality do not apply in reality. You are prior to the world, body and mind. You are the sphere in which they appear and disappear. You are the source of them all, the universal power by which the world with its bewildering diversity becomes manifest. 7*
You recreate the world every day from memory. There is no yesterday but your memory of it. There is no tomorrow but your thought of it. You are moving from now into now, and nothing has reality but in your mind. In deep sleep you are no one, no thing, you are not aware of being anything. You are just aware of being. There is no world, no one, not even 'yourself'. 8 In the absence of the mind, even the sense 'I am' dissolves. There is no 'I am' without the mind. All experience subsides with the mind. Without the mind, there can be no experiencer nor experience. 8*
Consciousness creates the mind which projects the world, built of memory and imagination.* You create a world, then you create an ego in it that is desiring some thing - look at it, you are doing that now. Stop the urge to create and recreate worlds of desires. 1 You don't have to live by memory. You can see the world as it is, a momentary appearance in consciousness. 7*
See all as a dream and stay out of it. While it lasts, the dream has temporary being. It is your own desire to hold on to it that creates the problem. Let go. Stop imagining that the dream is yours. 5*
Realize your true being, all else will follow and take care of itself. You will no longer feel the need to manifest or get things, because you see you are the one imagining the things. You already are, and if you want to observe yourself as 'something', you can. After you rid yourself of your belief that you are the ego, you no longer feel compelled in any direction whatsoever. You do not feel like you need to be the body you imagine you were born with (because you were never it in the first place), or watch Sandra's from afar. Youâre free to do or not to do whatever you want; you are dreaming, and you know you are dreaming, there is nothing to fear or fight, because all is yours. The thing to do is to establish that permanently, for all time. Then you can play any part you so desire, and be totally unaffected by it. 3
Free from memory and expectation, you are fresh, innocent and wholehearted. Needing nothing, you are unafraid. Whom to be afraid of? There is no separation, we are not separate selves. There is only one Self, your Self. 1*
Become aware that the waking state is just a dream and life will forever be a breeze. 6 When the world is real, it is heavy. When the Self is real, the world is light. 3#
References
4dbarbie posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
* Text excerpts from I Am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj
# from Keys to The Ultimate Freedom by Lester Levenson
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Hey how's it going? I was wondering if you would do an imagine of re4r Leon x Wesker reader, where she is Wesker's daughter
heartbeat
re4!leon kennedy x weskers!daughter reader
â a oneshot (request)
warnings: MDNI, 18+, enemies to lovers basic troupe (bc i can and im a slut for it), some foul language, mentions of readers raging daddy issues (thanks wesker), age difference by like a few years (reader is 21 and leon is 27), reader is female and uses (she/her) pronouns, smut (obviously), unprotected sex (for the love of god please wrap it), praise (and some small degradation), hair pulling, he slaps her once, spanking, slightly soft!dom leon, bratty and stubborn asf reader and whatever foul things iâm forgetting
âhe sees her in a way that makes her bones ache, like the oncoming of a storm or a tornado before it wipes people out. she sees it, whenever sheâs unfortunate enough to run into him. she sees the way he looks down at her (and not just for her age, or her height) but for who her dad is. albert wesker. did she ever want to be born? carry that title at the agency? fuck no, she never did. but leon, looking down at her like scum off of his shoeâŚonly made her burn more. in a way that was dangerous, yet thrilling.â
â or leon finally has enough of weskers daughters shit and decides to put her in her place
an: this request is hopefully what you asked for anon? and if not, so sorry in advance lol. i just took your idea and ran with it. also, itâs super long, i got carried away. also making up for how long i havenât posted. pls enjoy <3
hate itâs a very strong word. itâs the only word sheâs ever used to describe dislikes and things sheâd rather not talk about.
she hates leon, even though sheâs not supposed to. sheâs supposed to like him, be buddy buddy with him but she canât bring herself to be. not when he looks at her like she killed his family.
she didnât, just for some context.
sheâs tried to reconcile with the feeling of him glaring daggers at her every five seconds whenever theyâre in the same room. or the way he looks when someone else mentions your name. itâs almost like a fun drinking game.
see how many times leon can glare at you in one social gathering before your hammered. she would play it if she drank, just to ease some of the tension of the heated looks that coated his blue eyes.
and what did she ever do to him anyways? absolutely nothing. she just existed and apparently, just like her father, that was enough to make her scum on the bottom of the hypothetical shoe.
her father, that was another reason she hated when leon would glare at her. itâs like thatâs all he could see, she could see the hatred burn in his irises like the plague. a hatred for her, her father and seemingly all the things that her father had done wrong.
which was a lot, to be fair.
but having to be right next to leon, while your father talked to you both, it was like she was in her worst nightmare and she could pinch herself just so she would wake up.
that was what was happening right now, sitting in the organizations main office, ada standing idle at the door, almost as if she was guarding it from her or leon making a run for it.
she did not want to be here with her enemy and the guy she hates sitting next to her while they wait for her father. leon apparently didnât want to be here either, if his grumbles and small looks of discomfort were any indicator.
he was literally sitting in his rivals office, sneaking glances at ada every so often, sending small glares in your direction, all while they waited for your father to make his designated appearance.
eventually ada gets uncomfortable with the silence and the looks and leaves, probably to stand outside the room. you thank god, crossing your legs in your chair and scooting it away from leonâs figure in the chair next to her.
itâs like the tension could be cut in this room with a knife, she could see him glaring at her out of the corner of her eye. subtle glares that she could pinpoint not just from her endless training but from the fact of leonâs obvious lack of subtlety.
âcan i help you? or would you rather just keep glaring at me like i killed your puppy?â she says with a small sudden look in his direction, catching him head on. he scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest, tossing some of his hair out of his eyes, âi donât have to answer you.â he responds.
âat least you can fucking speak. i thought you only could communicate with grunts and scoffs.â she says with a small sarcastic smile, looking directly at him as if to size him up or something. she knew she could probably take him if it came to that. the thought excited her but also made her heart pick up.
he mutters something to himself and doesnât say anything, which is typical leon behavior when heâs even in the same vicinity as her. she didnât know why her father wanted them both here.
and she had no clue why she was literally being forced to sit in a room with someone who avoided her like the plague. she shifts in her seat and looks down at her lap again, drumming her manicured hands against her knee and bouncing her leg as she waited.
the silence was almost as thick as the tension, it could probably swallow them both if they werenât careful. âcan you stop doing that?â she hears him say in a low voice. she rolls her eyes internally, what was his problem now?
âstop doing what?â she says in a small snap, obviously irritated as she whips her head in his direction to look at him. his blue eyes were hard, stone like and it felt like he could freeze her just with a look. she was surprised that she wasnât.
âtapping your leg. moving it. just stop.â he says as he glances towards her legs crossed over each other in the chair, one bouncing regularly as she just sat there and did absolutely nothing.
seriously? what is his fucking deal? she thinks to herself as she rolls her eyes at him again, ignoring his request as she continues to bounce her foot in her chair. she simply uncrosses them and lets her boot clad feet rest on the floor, still bouncing one leg.
he shoots her daggers, like a look that could slice her skin clean open. she didnât dare look at him, knowing that she was pushing him, making him more annoyed and irritated. but she didnât really care, she just wanted her dad to be here so she could get the fuck away from leon and his penetrating look.
he doesnât say anything, the glares and sighs and scoffs never ending as she kept bouncing her knee as she anxiously waited. eventually, he got fed up and slammed a hand down on her knee that was bouncing.
âenough. i said quit it.â he says in a low voice towards her, leaning over the arm of his chair so that he could make his message quite clear: donât fuck with him. she swallows and her eyes go a tad wide, she looks down at the knee heâs holding, his hand so large over her knee it makes images appear in her mind that she wants to not have right now.
âokay, jesus. i wonât do it anymore, just let go of me.â she says in irritated tone, moving her knee and her entire chair away from him. he slips his hand away and just presses his lips together, his jaw clenching like a fist. she swallows subtly and just keeps herself away from him.
âgood. your finally fucking learning something.â he says in a small smirk finds its way onto his lips, she doesnât dare look over at him fully. settling for the peripheral view of him in his chair next to hers, sitting behind the desk.
she doesnât have a chance to ask him what he means before the door opens and albert wesker finally makes his long delayed appearance. and for once, sheâs glad her father is actually in the room, the lesser of two evils at the moment.
but it still rings in her mind, what did leon mean? what did any of this mean? andâŚwhy did that touch on her knee send her into such a wave of confusion? sheâd hope that some questions would be silently answered soon. ďżź
turns out that the reason they were both there, was not for some lecture or some lesson. but rather for leon to teach her more about discrepancy during missions. which unfortunately for her meant that she had to train with him.
leon wasnât thrilled about it either, he looked like he was about ready to punch her dad when he made the suggestion. and he argued, âwhy me? why not someone from this organization? why the rivals?â whining like a child who got paired with another child he didnât like.
she wouldâve laughed if her father wasnât staring directly at her, glaring like she would get reprimanded for looking at him funny. but wesker didnât answer leonâs question, just annoyingly stated that it was because he said, and unfortunately for the both of them thats how they ended up in their current position.
standing in a training room at the DSO, letting him attempt to teach her some moves. which if his instruction wasnât good, she would be totally lost. at least he had that going for him.
she was offended by her fatherâs statement, not living up to his fucking beyond perfect standards. like no matter what she did, whatever mission she completedâŚit was like it meant nothing to him.
like she was just supposed to be just like him, stoic and untouchable. she wasnât, she was nothing like him and he had to know that or he wouldnât push her so hard and break her down like this.
knowing her weak spot of hatred for leon kennedy, using him as an excuse so she could get pushed harder and harder until she eventually broke into pieces. knowing how this would all play out, letting leon have his fun with throwing punches and swings her way like heâs probably always wanted too.
this is their third training session, the first two sessions spanned two weeks after the discussion with her father in the organizationâs office. during this particular training session leon had been giving her shit, trying to poke at her, hitting all her weak spots that she didnât even know she had.
âstep into it and actually act like you want to hit me.â he says harshly as he looks down at her, his chest rising and falling fast as he pulls her up harshly off the matted floor. she swallows and tries to catch her breath.
âi do want to hit you. just not for training purposes.â she hisses as she lets him pull her up roughly by her arm, landing on her own two feet again, pulling out of his grab on her arm. he sends her a disappointing look, âfunny.â he deadpans as he looks at her.
âoh yeah, fucking hysterical.â she moves back away from him, moving hair behind her shoulder as she does, going to the edge of the mat in the training room. he lets out a sarcastic chuckle, âmaybe if you fucking hit me like you were supposed too-â
âshut up! shut the fuck up. i will hit you. i will.â she says in a hiss as she comes charging towards him, almost sprinting as she tries to land a punch to his face but he blocks her faster, holding her fist in his large hand. âenough.â he demands, pushing her fist away harshly.
he spoke in that same tone like he did four weeks ago and she felt something in her falter. something weaken, like a dying fire inside of her bones and body. she stopped, for her own good, dropping her hand back by her side.
âyou need to stop being so fucking counter intuitive with your movements. i could see that weak punch coming from a mile away.â he explains as firmly as he could, sending a small look of irritation her direction. she catches the look, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest.
âand how does one do that?â she says with a small look of annoyance and obvious boredom. something happening within her at his firm tone that she couldnât quite place. it just felt different, she didnât know how to feel about it.
he takes a step towards her, slow and methodical. he takes her hand that attempted to throw a punch at her, he makes a fist with her smaller hand, forming a punch gesture. âthis,â he raises her formed fist by her wrist. her breath faltering a little as he does this.
âyou never ever want to form a loose fist, ever. first step,â he says with conviction and firmness, she canât even pretend to be irritated. not now, not with his hands on her hand and his tone so firm and reprimanding.
âfist tight, curled knuckles but keep them out.â he says as he runs the pads of his fingers over her knuckles, smoothing them out as if they were ripples in the sea. she simply lets him, not having the fight left in her to even move. she simply swallows and nods, as if she could focus on his direction right now.
âsecond thing,â he holds her wrist up with the curled fist he formed with her fingers, âalways aim with purpose. always throw your punch with intention.â he says firmly, looking down deep into her eyes as he did so the message came across.
he chuckles dryly, ânot like you did before when you charged at me.â he states, holding her tiny wrist in his large hand. proving his point further by dropping her hand back down at her side. her fist uncurling as a breath is released from her lips.
ânow, letâs try another defense, practice the punch and do what i told you. maybe you wonât be entirely unfortunate.â he says with a small crooked smirk, mocking her obviously as he backed up. she didnât have it in her to poke him back, she didnât even know what was happening to her.
like she had been reduced to a puddle at his hands, only a simple touch on her hand, a firm tone and a teaching. not even a lecture, just a simple firm instruction. she was confused, but she would continue.
even though her insides felt strange and uncomfortable, like a change that was happening inside of her that she couldnât even pinpoint and she hated it.
a month into training sessions and she still felt that weird feeling in her body whenever his tone was firm and hard towards her, like a scolding parent.
but now it was different, she felt like she was suddenly awakened. like a part of her was different. she knew it wasnât just his training. she could tell that much, leon mustâve sensed something.
because now heâs talking to her as they sit down on the bench of the D.S.O training room, her body turned towards him, crossing her legs in her lap. she sips from her water bottle, wiping her sweaty forehead as she feels his presence next to her on the bench.
âdoes it hurt?â he asks suddenly, making her snap her eyes towards him, her brows furrowed. sheâs surprised he wasnât bickering with her or lecturing her on her performance in his training heâs been giving her.
âdoes what hurt?â she asks as she swallows the water, looking at him, brushing some sweaty hair out of her eyes from her forehead. her water bottle clenched firmly in her lap, adjusting on the bench.
he sighs and leans forward a little, propping his elbows on his knees. she keeps her eyes trained on him, where they about to have a heart to heart? seriously? she could act shocked, but deep down within her she felt something shift. âyour relationship with your father. does it hurt?â he asks in almost a whisper. like it wasnât supposed to be spoken.
she parts her lips a little, glancing down at her water bottle as she tried to think of an answer. did it hurt? did the relationship with her father, the untouchable albert wesker, hurt?
if it was like asking if a cactus hurt if you touched it, or if fire burned you if you got too close.
she already knew her answer after a few beats of silence, keeping her legs crossed on the bench. she swallows, words that have wanted to be long awaited left her mouth, âyeah, it hurts. but not for the reasons you probably think.â she responds softly.
he glances over his shoulder at her, letting it sink in, letting her response soak into his bones. âwhat reasons then?â he asks her, moving some of his hair out of his eyes with a small move of his head. he needed to know if his suspicions were correct or not.
or if he had been hating her almost unprovoked by the simple nature of who her dad was.
she takes a glance back up at him, looking at the way his muscles strained against the back of his t-shirt that he had worn to training today. she feels heat pool between her legs and bites her lip, a response to his question on the tip of her tongue.
âhe expects perfection, all the time. blood or not blood. and itâs like no matter what i do, no matter how many missions i go on, itâs never enough.â she explains as she tries to focus on the conversation with him, she canât deny that her gaze on him could burn holes if she looked hard enough.
and the uncomfortable pooling in her underwear did not help this situation one bit.
but still she continues, âbeing his daughter is a burden when it should feel like a blessing.â she whispers as she blinks her eyes, the truth felt freeing even if it was to leon, an enemy almost turned acquaintance in this past month.
he looks over at her again, leaning up and settling straight against the bench. he looks almost like heâs finally understanding now. getting both sides of the story. like he had been looking at his enemy or his competitor as one, when really it was just her and wesker.
she wasnât him, he knew that now. he needed to be sure and now he was. he felt guilty like he had hated this girl forever for no purpose entirely, just because her father had a tainted reputation within all agencyâs.
âis it really that bad?â he asks softly, again, almost as if heâs afraid to ask it. like it had been so bad hypothetically and it was too much. leon fears he already knows the answer to his question.
his blue eyes look over her sweaty and worn out frame, sitting innocently criss crossed on the bench next to him in the training room. she looked like a hurt little girl who had scraped her knee on the pavement and now leon was the one to tend to her wounds.
not her father.
âmy last mission, i went to aruba. i took down an entire fleet of enemies and people without batting an eye. i typed up the report, gave it back to him and instead of saying good job, anythingâŚhe told me that my diligence was sloppy and unnecessary.â she says with a small swallow as she looks down at her water bottle in her lap, blinking some water away from her eyes.
tears or sweat? who knew.
her hair followed her, curtaining her face only slightly. as she let out a pained laugh, shaking her head, leon had opened the emotional can of worms without even potentially realizing it. âas if me taking down people, almost an entire colony, meant nothing to him.â she cracks out, taking a small shaky breath.
she looks over at him with a slightly pained expression, moving her hair out of her eyes. he could see it in her eyes when she looked at him. he wishes he could fix what damage wesker had done by simply being her father.
but he knew he couldnât. he could only stop hating her, and that was easier said than done. but he could try, make her have something or rather someone to latch onto, to reprimand her in a way that didnât damage her self esteem.
âwhat if i told you that i donât want to be at your throat anymore? what would you say to that?â he says with a small press of his lips, looking over her sweaty and exhausted body. his cock hardened in his training gear of the thought of what lie beneath her workout outfit.
god, what would her lips feel like? sucking him off, pretty and perfect as he slid his dick into her mouth. probably look up at him all teary eyed and desperate. hell, she would probably thank him for it.
he was trying to ignore it, his dick twitching in his pants as he saw her think over his words, the gears turning in her brain.
she felt her lips part, a small breath leaving her. was it shock? some undercurrent of happiness? she didnât know she couldnât piece it together right now. not when she was trying to ignore her arousal and stay focused on the words coming out of leonâs mouth.
âiâd like that a lot.â she responds with a small smile, one that he hadnât seen before. one that she hadnât let grace her face in years it felt like. he knew this wasnât going to be easy, being so close to her now, not being enemies.
but still, that understanding was there. she didnât need him hating on her anymore, sending glares that were clearly reserved for her dad, her way. she didnât deserve that, even if her father seemed like the evil embodiment of everything he hated.
he could see she was nothing like that, he smiles only slightly and nods, âalright. friends? acquaintances?â he says with a small stick out of his hand towards her. she looks down at it, swallowing thickly, his hands painting images in her mind that werenât exactly appropriate right now.
she nods, still smiling, âfriends.â she says softly and reaches out to wrap her hand around his, shaking it. his size so clearly dwarfed hers. her heart swelled a little, her core pulsing.
they were both lying to themselves and so obviously aroused, it was only a matter of time before the tension snapped. and all hell would break loose.
the next week, she walks into the D.S.O training room and sheâs nervous, nervous for what? sheâs not even sure but she sees him sitting on the bench like he was last week when they agreed to be friends.
he sees her walk in, she notices something different in his gaze this time but sheâs not sure what. he looks almostâŚhungry. like he could just devour her with one look. âhey, sorry iâm lateâŚâ she begins to apologize and he stops her with his words.
she drops her workout bag on the bench, âdonât worry about it. but i have something in mind thatâs different today.â he says with a small glance over her legging and sports bra clad body.
he already felt half-hard, just looking over her body and her curves. how he could get over the hate, see her as something so attractive and so delicate was beyond his comprehension. all he knew was he had to have her now, he had been thinking about this all week.
she didnât know what he meant, she did know that he looked at her in a way no one ever had before, something deep and unrecognizable to the untrained eye. âwhat did you have in mind?â she asks quietly as she looks over into his eyes, her body trying to find out what he had in store for her.
he got up off the bench and stepped towards her, looking down at her with his hungry blue eyes. âyouâre attracted to me.â he just states, keeping her eyes pinned on his.
she blinked up at him and nervously laughed, âwhat are you talking about?â she tried to brush it off as she looks up at him, trying to fool him with a nervous smile. âare youâŚare you trying to mess with me leon? itâs not funny.â she releases a shaky breath again.
he chuckles, shaking his head as he looks down at her, finding her idea of trying to mask it adorable. he reaches up and tucks some of the loose strands of hair behind her ear. âno, iâm not messing with you. you need my guidance, you need to be taught a lesson. but iâm not doing it unless you want me to.â he says with conviction.
she shivers at his warm touch on her skin, simply innocent but making butterflies and arousal occur to her body. he wouldnât do itâŚunless she wanted him too? what could he possibly be talking about? did he meanâŚ?
âare-are you talking aboutâŚ?â she breathes shakily as she looks up at him, her chest rising and falling fast as she does. âsex?â she whispers and it doesnât even sound like sheâs saying it. the words feel so alien coming out of her mouth.
he nods slowly, tracing his hand that was fixing her hair down to her chin. âif thatâs what you want, yes. your attracted to me, iâm attracted to you and we donât hate each other anymore.â he points these things out as a storm of emotions swirls around in her head. ďżź
heâs attracted to me? to me? the person he hated and glared at for as long as she knew him. she almost couldnât believe it. but she got over it quickly, realizing that he was offering sexâŚwith him to her so freely and openly.
âthose are your onlyâŚreasons?â she whispers softly as she looks up into his eyes, blinking steadily as she tries to reconcile and decide within her brain what she wants to do.
âi have plenty of reasons. but those are the only ones you need to know right now. donât believe me?â he says with a small look of intimidation in his eyes, because why would she believe him considering her history even though they were âfriendsâ now.
she slowly shakes her head, he grabs her hand in a firm grasp like he did when he was showing her how to form a fist. he leads it down to the front of his pants, his half hard cock in his jeans resting underneath her hand. she swallows as she maintains contact with his pant clad erection.
âyou see now? you understand? hmm?â he leans into her neck and whispers those words hotly against her skin, causing goosebumps to erupt all over; pebbling her skin. arousal finding its way uncomfortably more beneath her leggings.
she nods wordlessly, looking at him as he keeps his head by her neck, he chuckles lowly. âuse your words, you know how to talk baby. i know you do.â she can feel his smirk against her skin as he says that.
âyes, i understand.â she says in a soft voice that sounds nothing like her own. she moves her hand from his erection in his pants to his chest, rubbing her hand over his t-shirt, feeling his muscles beneath it.
âgood girl. now, i am going to fuck you.â he says in her ear, her hole pulsing at the praise around nothing. she doesnât even have it in her to care anymore, sheâs losing all sense of rational thought at his close proximity.
she hums, feeling his lips ghost over her neck as he dangerously presses a kiss to it her skin, nibbling at it. she finds herself making a small noise thatâs trapped in the back of her throat.
she practically melts under his touch, grasping onto his t-shirt. âdonât worry baby. iâll take care of you. tell me you want it. or should i find out on my own?â he says lowly in almost a predatory growl against her neck. she shivers at his words, only imagining what he could mean by that. âi want it. i wantâŚi want you to fuck me.â she says in a slightly whiny voice.
itâs hard to believe that itâs even her, she feels nothing like herself pressed up against him, his lips nibbling and sucking at her neck, his hands ghosting her waist. sheâs not in control anymore like she usually is and it feels nice to hand it over to him, especially like this.
he smirks into her neck again, pulling his lips away from her sweet pale skin. he chuckles lowly, âgood. now,â he steps back and looks down at her, looking at her sports bra, âtake that off.â she blinks up at him with dreary eyes, she follows his orders though.
not having it in her to say no at this point. she pulls the zipper thatâs down the front of it, the material underneath a little sheer. he can see the outline of her hardened nipples barely underneath. she continues to take it off, unclipping it from the front and letting her breasts spill out of it.
goosebumps all along her bare upper half as she feels his lustful glare penetrating her chest. eyeing her breasts with hunger. she lets the useless sports bra slip onto the floor. the cold air kissing her skin.
he reaches out and massages her breasts, âmmm, imagined how they looked. gotta say, iâm not disappointed.â he says with a smirk, he guides her over to the bench, nudging her to lay down, her head resting on the bare wood as he straddles the bench. he grabs her legs lifting them up over his shoulders, each ankle resting on his shoulders.
âmmm,â he leans down and presses his mouth to her chest, taking each nipple into his mouth while massaging the other, tweaking the nipples in his hands. she writhes underneath him, making small noises, her thighs pressed up to her stomach as he leans over her and devours her chest.
she lets it slip once, only once and once it does she regrets it. everything just feels so good and his mouth working on her chest is enough for it to slip out in ecstasy. âdaddyâŚâ she moans softly.
her body freezes up a little, waiting for him to recoil, to push her away and make her put her sports bra back on. but instead he looks up from her chest, releasing one of her breasts with a small pop. his gaze even hungrier if that was even possible.
âyou gonna let daddy fuck your pussy?â he says in a low rasp as he grasps at her chest again, massaging her breasts again that he had devoured. she doesnât act shocked that he agreed to the name, she just nods mindlessly.
âgood girl.â he says with a small chuckle, leaning back. he lets his hands slide down from her breasts to the hem of her leggings, pulling them down with fervor. he scoots back and pulls them off of her legs, throwing them on the floor by her discarded sports bra of the training room floor.
he gets up from the bench, popping the button on his pants and pulling them down his legs, kicking them off with his shoes, removing hers as well. she looks at his large erection thatâs straining in his boxers, a small spot of precum on the top where the tip must be.
she swallows a small noise as she lays her head back down on the bench, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. he looks down at her body, âno underwear? did you know this would happen? or are you just being a naughty little girl?â he says with a mocking tone as he catches her trying to press her thighs together where she lays on the bench.
she looks up at him from where she lays against the bench, she shakes her head. âiâm not naughty. my underwearâŚthey just get ruined too easily, daddy.â he tilts his head with a small smirk, âis that so? are you lying princess?â he says as he straddles the bench again, pulling her by her ankles close to his boxer clad erection.
she shakes her head feverishly as if she could lie to him, he leans over her, lightly smacking her cheek, âyour just desperate for my dick baby? is that it? even being near me and your soaking.â he says with a small mocking laugh as she just gazes bleary eyed back at him.
the light tingle of his small smack against her cheek makes her body light up like an electric shock, her hole clenching around nothing. the degrading going deep to her core, everything that heâs saying is just making her painfully more aroused.
her core is practically aching for him at this point. she nods up at him, âyes, daddy.â she says with a small whimper, he smirks and shakes his head, looking down at her glistening pussy.
âmmm, yeah, pretty tits and a pretty pussy. your just a beautiful sight baby.â he says with a small hum. she feels herself whimper softly and become wetter at just his words of praising her body. âyour practically leaking on the bench, but donât worry. i wonât leave you waiting for long.â he says with a small smack to her pussy, making her back arch and release a strangled noise.
âdirty girl.â he says with malice, he gets up again, walking over to the training room door, locking it and making sure no one could even look in here. he then takes his shirt off and walks towards her again, âon all fours baby, do it for daddy.â he says with a small gesture of his hands.
she bites her lips and shakily gets up off of the bench and gets on all fours, he grabs her duffle and puts his t-shirt on it, moving so she can rest her head on it for stability. he crawls behind her on the bench, rubbing the flesh of her ass with his large hands.
âsuch a pretty ass too, baby. hmmm,â he says in fascination as he lightly skims his fingers over her asshole, making her keel forward a little into his bunched up shirt on her duffle bag. he grabs her hip with one hand, keeping her in place. ânuh-uh, no moving from daddy.â he says with a small groan. he lightly smacks her ass, making her moan softly into the fabric of his t-shirt.
he feels a grin slide onto his face, âyou like that? of course you do. your a naughty little girl.â he says and adds another smack to her other cheek. she releases another muffled moan into his t-shirt again.
he chuckles slowly, licking his lips. he leans back and pulls his boxers down, releasing his cock. he sighs in relief, finally able to breathe a little bit. âiâll give my baby what she wants, even if sheâs a naughty little slut.â he says with another smack to her ass, she keels forward again, her stomach arching into the bench.
her hole kept pulsing around nothing again as he said that, going straight to her core. her body still practically aching at this point for his cock. he chuckles and grips his cock in one hand, moving it through her slick folds. he keeps one hand still placed firmly on her hip.
she whimpers into his t-shirt as she feels the head of his cock touch her clit, teasing her. âplease, daddy.â her whimpers muffled into the fabric.
he smacks her ass lightly again with his free hand, âshush, princess. youâll get daddyâs cock in a second. i just need to make sure your ready.â he says with a small chortle again, he rubs his hand soothingly over her lightly red ass cheeks.
he takes his time coating his cock in her arousal, making her squirm and make tiny noises each time he does. âmmm, i think your ready for daddyâs cock baby.â he says with a small smirk, rubbing her ass cheeks, with his firm hands, sliding one hand down to brush the tip of his cock against her wet entrance.
she moaned softly, âyes, daddy.â she managed to get out as he nudged his tip in her entrance. she let out a strangled noise as he stuck the tip in, her fists gripping at the bench.
âjust the tip baby and your sucking me in.â he groans as he nudged his cock further into her pussy, stretching her out more. âdaddyâŚâ she moaned weakly as she felt some drool slide out of her mouth and onto his t-shirt that her cheek was smushed against.
âi know, i knowâŚjust a little more baby. you can take it.â he says with a strangled noise, gritting his teeth as he slides more into her pussy, his length all the way inside of her at this point to the hilt.
âuhh, d-daddyâŚâ she feels her body go slack a little at the fullness of his cock inside of her from behind. she finds it hard to focus on anything else right now, the feeling of his cock inside of her was so delicious and distracting.
âkeep moaning for your daddy, wanna hear you princess.â he says with a small groan as he feels her pussy flutter around his cock, he reaches down and grabs at her hair, a fistful of it in his hands as he starts rocking his hips slowly against her, his hips slapping against her ass as he does.
she feels her eyes roll back and flutter shut a little, practically drooling as he yanks her hair up and causing her head to look straight ahead. she moans softly again, adjusting to his length. his hips move a little faster as he keeps her hair in a tight fist.
âso fucking tight, jesus.â he grunts as he keeps moving in and out of her. she moans daddy again at each thrust of his hips. she feels so fucking full and it almost feels like her skin is on fire in the best way possible.
he keeps fucking her, his hips moving faster as he keeps one hand on her hip to guide her hips back in as he thrusts, his other hand tugging at her hair as she moans and whines. âfuckâŚdaddyâŚmmm, iâm closeâŚâ she manages to get out as he keeps thrusting into her, hitting that spot inside of her that made her vision go blurry.
he keeps making small grunts and noises of pleasure, âlet go baby, iâve got you. cum all over daddyâs cock.â she keeps releasing noises at every slap of his hips against her ass. she has his permission and she cums on his cock with a few more thrusts and hitting her sweet spot inside of her.
seeing stars dance in her vision, her body dropping back to his t-shirt, her thighs shaking as she releases and clenches around his cock. he releases her hair, the other hand holding onto her hips, a low groan escaping him as he feels her cum all over his cock.
the feeling of her squeezing around him is addicting and he knows he wonât last much longer. he fucks her through it and chases his own orgasm.
she bites her lips as small tears leak out of her eyes at the overstimulation that he gives her from his cock still moving in and out of her. âshh, itâs okayâŚbaby, iâm closeâŚgonna cum inside your pussyâŚâ he manages to get out in between strangled noises, his hair dampening with sweat slightly.
she cries in a small whine of pleasure as he finally releases inside of her with just a few more thrusts, her pussy milking his cum so he doesnât spill a drop out of her. she feels her body go slack as she comes down from it all, her chest rising and falling against the bench where she stays bent over.
he rubs a small reassuring hand over the curve of her ass, âyou okay? i didnât hurt you did i?â he says with a small hint of clarity as he slightly pulls out of her. she shakes her head into the fabric of his balled up t-shirt.
âhere, here.â he grabs his boxers, climbing off of the bench and pulling them over his legs, he sits down on the bench. âput on the t-shirt, then cmere.â he says in a gentle but firm tone. she shakily moves her limbs and grabs his t-shirt from where it was crumpled up on top of her duffle.
he grabs his sweat rag from his own gym bag, patting his thighs for her to sit on. she adjusts his shirt over her body and moves to sit in his lap, burying her head into his neck and holding onto his bare chest with weak fists. he cleans up the inside of her thighs, over her sensitive folds.
she shivers and tries to move away from it, âshh, itâs okay. itâs okay. iâm just cleaning you up.â he whispers into her hair, pressing a gentle kiss there. she nods slowly, her eyes fluttering shut and relaxing into his lap, he pulls the rag away and puts it in his duffle next to him on the bench.
âwas that good?â he says into her hair, looking down at her face with a small crane of his neck. âyeah, it was good.â she smiles softly as she tilts her head up and opens her eyes lazily. he smiles and rubs a hand over her back in a soothing gesture, feeling his heart bloom into a cathartic way he hasnât felt in years.
âhow about i take you out for dinner sometime? hmm? properly treat you.â he says with small squeeze of her hip, she smiles up at him, nodding. âiâd love that.â she says with a small sigh of content.
she held him as he held her in the aftermath of their love making and deep down they both knew that this was the beginning of something new for the both of them. something real, something exciting and full of love.
they couldnât wait for what the future held in store for them.
⌠. ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚ
taglist: @heartsforvin
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#leon kennedy#leon x reader#leon kennedy smut#re2 leon#re2 remake#re4 remake#leon kennedy au#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy drabble#re6 leon x reader#resident evil#re4 leon x reader#leon kennedy x fem reader
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hereâs much to do with hate, but more with love âľ lee sangyeon & lee hyunjae
non-idol!lee sangyeon x reader, non-idol!lee hyunjae x reader
when you land the lead role for your university's upcoming play, you expect your scene partner to be your best friend, lee hyunjae. but when your eyes discover a different lee beside romeo montague's, you're certain that the universe is not on your side.
genre/warnings ⾠enemies to lovers, slight friends to lovers (kind of), afab reader (they/them pronouns), university au, theater au (?), suggestive themes, drinking, pet names (sweetheart), huh yunjin is your bestfriend, i don't remember much from physics so my bad if angular momentum is not taught in college (or probably a basic lesson), kevin moon is the director and kibum from shinee is the teacher advisor, three different scenes and one flashback, p1harmony cravity twice and ive cameo too, theater kids do know how to have fun!, sangyeon macbeth burn, the scottish play is macbeth btw, theater superstitions mentioned!!
word count âľ 6.1k words
taglist âľÂ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @vernyangel @mosviqu
a/n ⾠here's my submission for the secret santa fic exchange of the deoboyznet! i got daisy @daisyvisions <3 i hope you enjoy this, and i hope i got to fulfill your request (and did justice to sangmil) <3 thank you to @vernyangel and @winterchimez for betareading this <3 also thank you to @shegotthewoobies and @sizzlingdino for sharing your theater knowledge <3 much love <3 i'll definitely consider writing a part 2 for this fic if anyone wants it :') for everyone, please don't forget to reblog (even if it's in your tbr) and leave feedback <3
want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist
To exist is to perform. At every waking momentâevery second, every location, every playâis an audience ready to witness an act, regardless of whether they attended the first act or came in the middle of the third. To exist is to perform. No matter what role you signed up for, youâre left to act as your own backstage crew, cast, and director. To exist is to perform. Thereâs no such thing as intermission for the crowd remains rooted in their seats. To exist is to perform. Youâre born an actor; nothing can change that.
Thereâs an unwritten contract that comes with being an actor; it is to understand your role and scene, and then immerse in what your character is undergoing. Let the curtains draw back and feel. And most of all, never allow the audience or your castmate to disrupt the show.
(It didnât matter if you were performing for someone or no one. The roles you undertake are made for you, after all; itâs only right to perform, perform, perform.)
(And regardless of the nature of the roleâensemble or lead, it didnât matter because they held their own valueâyou knew to perform it as if it were your last show. But youâll never allow yourself to be a ham; you would rather have someone exclaim the official name of âThe Scottish Playâ in the theaterâscratch that, you would rather hear âgood luckâ at every opening night.)
For todayâs play, youâre left with a monotonous roleâa university student forced to listen to the blabbering of a lecturer as they teeter on a tightrope. At any second, you swear you could almost slip and fall into slumber, but the sound of your professor clearing his throat is what has you scrambling back into focus.Â
âSo, angular momentum.â God, you need to get out of here.
Before you can find yourself falling back into your thoughts, the table vibrates. You look down at your phone to see a text from your best friend.
jennikirin: GIRRRLLL⌠jennikirin: i just heard that sir key posted the casting list
Your eyebrows shoot up. With hands quick to grab your phone and type out a reply, the voice of your professor turns into elevator music.
y/n: HUHHH isnât that supposed to be coming out next week??? jennikirin: YEAA but zuha told me that sir key and kevin wanted it up early just so they could start preparing for the production jennikirin: jichang told her btw HUEYIQEYE y/n: IMCRYAINDG!?!@?@ y/n: fuck ME now i have to sit through the rest of this class knowing that the list is out already??? jennikirin: DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED iâm stuck with sir son in stupid econâŚÂ jennikirin: like I DONâT CARE ABOUT YOU GREGORY MANKIW!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! y/n: iâm learning about stupid angular momentum under sir won⌠y/n: like iâm only here because ITS A GENERAL SUBJECT!!! IâM AN ADVERTISING MAJOR?? jennikirin: nvm sir son is dismissing us early đ iâm bolting to that corkboard see ya y/n: FAWK YEWWWW
All you have to do is follow through with your role until the curtains draw closeâa simple task that seems impossible to complete. If your knees were to hit the ground and your hands would come together in a prayer position, would the performance be life-changing that the show is cut short? Could you be free from your duty as an actor playing a student?
(And itâs funny because you spent countless hours studying and praying to get into this university; you were in no position to complain.)
âThatâs it for todayâs class! Please make sure to read up onââ
You were out of the classroom before you could hear your professorâs full announcement. The details of your next assignment donât matter when your fate is stored in a paper posted on a corkboard.
(Though, you know it is a lie. You did need to pass Mr. Wonâs class to get your degree, and you didnât want to go through Physics a second time.)
The hallway is filled with rumbling students, off to go to their next class or itching to get some food during their break in between. As you made your way through, you could only spit out half-hearted excusesâSorry! Just passing!âas you bumped shoulders with strangers. Different looks were thrown your way, apologetic and scornful ones to name a few.
Your phone vibrates in your hand, and you look down to see a text message from Yunjin. A sigh leaves you as you type out a reply while walking.
jennikirin: I JUST GOT HERE jennikirin: WRU y/n: OTW WAIR FIR ME jennikirin: BITCHHHH OKAY
Once youâve made it out of the sea of extras, you can spot the brown corkboard surrounded by a crowd of students, and you can see your ginger-haired friend looking down at her phone. Sheâs pacing around, struggling to not look at the cast list.
âHuh Yunjin!â Her eyes land on you as you call out her name. You scurry your way to her. âSorry! The hallways were packed.â
âItâs fine! Now, we need to check the casting list. I was practically dying not looking at it.â She tugs on your arm, maneuvering you both closer to the paper plastered on the corkboard. As she says excuses, you spot familiar faces leaving with different expressionsâjoy and disappointment to name a few.
You can spot Yoon Keeho and Hwang Intak walking away, sighs of relief leaving them. Shoulders down are what Kang Minhee and Ham Wonjin sported, a teary-eyed Song Hyeongjun trailing behind the two. Faces of those you knew during your time in countless productions, and others youâve only met during auditions; theyâve read the paper that had their fates.
Every step is a dreadful one as you trudge your way through the crowd. (Or you could say being dragged by your best friend.) But before you can attest, you find yourself facing Yunjin, both of you only one look away from finding out your fates.
âOkay, are we ready?â Be still, your heart.
With one nod, you both look at the piece of paper that holds the names of those participating in the Romeo and Juliet production. As you spot Yunjinâs name beside Rosaline Capulet, your heart leaps at the sight.
âOh my god, Yunjin, you GOT IT!â
âY/N, YOUâRE JULIET!â You lock eyes with your best friend, eyebrows raised in confusion at her words. âGirl, look!â She moves your face with one hand and has the other pointing right where your name landsâY/N as Juliet Capulet. Your hand reaches to your face, palm covering your mouth as you hold back a gasp. Mind jumbled, you didnât know what to say.
Yunjin pulls you into an embrace, jumping in her place. âWE GOT IN!â Her cheer sounds throughout the hallway, earning stares from those surrounding you two and those passing by.
Your eyes trail down the list, trying to find someoneâs name. The sight of your other best friendâs name has you smiling, but youâre pulled out of your utopia when you find it situated beside a character he didnât audition forâLee Jaehyun as Count Paris.
âHyunjae didnât get Romeo?â The whisper has Yunjin halting her actions.
Her eyes rest back on the casting list. âWhat? He didnât get in?â
âNo, he did, but heâs playing Paris.â With furrowed eyebrows, your eyes look to who your scene partner is; who is your Romeo Montague? And when you see the word âLeeâ, you expect that Sir Key mightâve made a mistake and inputted Hyunjaeâs name twice.
That is until you read the word that trails after the firstâLee Sangyeon as Romeo Montague.
âOh, youâve got to be kidding me.â
Lighting erupts within you. The air current moves at a speed fast enough to form a tornado, and it just so happens that youâre in the eye of it. Youâre face-to-face with a natural disaster, wondering its next course of actionâto consume you whole or to leave you be.
Lee fucking Sangyeon; oh how you couldnât even say his name without your blood boiling. Is there anything even good to say about the cocky motherfucker?
You shared the tragic fate of attending the same high school as Sangyeon. And just like you, he was in the theater club. At first, he was just someone like youâa student with a passion for acting. But the thing about Sangyeon is that he presents himself well, earning gushes from those part of the club, students and teachers alike. It seemed that he was the perfect actor, always landing the leading roles. At one point, you wanted to believe that it was because he was a good actor, but the reality unraveled itself when you saw what was behind the scenes.
Lee Jaehyun, or Hyunjae as he goes, shared the same dreams as Sangyeon. They both wanted to act, ideally landing leading roles. The passion the two shared shouldâve fostered friendly rivalry, a way to propel them to reach heights never imagined. But the more Sangyeon received countless opportunities to play the lead role, the more Hyunjaeâs determination started to crumble. What makes the whole thing even bleaker is that Sangyeon knew what his rival felt, and made the most out of that opportunity to tear him down.
What started off as genuine words of encouragement had turned into two-faced statements. And it hurt to see your best friend believe he was incapable of becoming an actor. If anything, you could name countless roles that he deserved to play the leading role, and many could agree with you. As your best friend started to crumble, you were driven by the desire to protect him. With every appearance Sangyeon made, your hostility towards him grew, and it didnât help that he solidified it with only one interaction.
Scratchy; thatâs what your sweater feels like against your skin. Perhaps itâs the heat of the hallway that has you wanting to strip your knit sweater off, or the material has just worn off. You tug on the collar, hoping that the discomfort will dissipate. Eyes trained on the corkboard that held the names of productions your club has done throughout the years, you wonder what role could you land for The Scottish Play.
Itâs unlike you to audition for a big role, a leading role to be exact, for you found yourself growing comfortable in minor ones and ensemble. Yunjin has never been able to convince you to audition for the big roles, and your other friend, Kim Younghoon, could never find the right words to push you to sign up under a main character. But Hyunjae held some power over youâIf you audition for Lady Macbeth, Iâll try out for Macbethâand you couldnât find it within yourself to say no, especially when Hyunjae was considering giving up auditioning for leading roles overall.Â
You can feel the coolness of the concrete wall against your nape. Hamlet, Three Kingdoms, Sweeney Todd, and more are the productions youâve hesitated to audition for the lead roles. You close your eyes in an attempt to calm your nerves. One audition wouldnât kick you out of the club, right? If Ms. Jang learned that you were unfit to be an actor at that moment, you put the blame on Hyunjae.
(But in reality, you knew you would blame yourself. Hyunjae wouldnât be at fault for what Ms. Jang decides to do with you. Every failure you face is caused by you, and you need to take responsibility for each one.)
Then, the door swings open, and the cold air that the air conditioners of the theater expel hits your skin, causing goosebumps to form. A shudder runs down your spine. Your eyes peel open, and youâre ready to greet the person who exited the theater, about to wish them luck. But when you catch sight of the one person who has done nothing but tear your best friend down, the taste in your mouth is like acid.
His head whips in your direction, catching sight of you seated with the sample script that Ms. Jang provided resting on your lap. His eyebrows shoot up and his eyes trail you from top to bottom. âSo, which one?â
The question catches you off guard. Although you didnât like Sangyeon, you two didnât really talk for there was no reason to do so in the first place. So, when he does decide to talk to youâlike this moment, and itâs not like you two really talked until nowâyou find yourself surprised at the interactions.
When you tilt your head in confusion, he chuckles with a smug look plastered on his face. âWhich of the Three Witches?â
And with just one question, you feel your resolve snap. For him to assume that you were auditioning for one of those roles felt like an insult. Itâs not that you didnât see the value of these roles; you know that the production is nothing without the people to fulfill the minor roles. But to hear such a question from him with his record of humiliating Hyunjae, you cannot help but believe heâs trying to do the same to you.
âIâm auditioning for Lady Macbeth,â you answer, venom laced with your tone. It doesnât help that shock casts on Sangyeonâs features.
âOh, I see,â he starts. He clears his throat, an attempt to hide his bewilderment, and shoots you a smile. âWell, Iâd like to have you as my scene partner.â
Cockyâthatâs all Lee Sangyeon will ever be. His ego has been inflated with all the leading roles heâs landed. Youâve never met anyone filled with pride like his; how could he prance around with confidence that he would get the role he auditioned for every single time?
You roll your eyes as you stand up from your seat, the script now in your hands. âI canât believe youâre so confident that youâll be playing Macbeth. Have you ever considered that maybe you wonât play the main role for once?â The glare you shoot at him does nothing to his pride.
âI donât know, Iâm pretty confident about the performance I gave just a few minutes ago.â
It baffles you. Sangyeon continues to prove that heâs never been given a reality check; maybe you should snap some sense into him.
âIâd rather settle for being part of the ensembleâno, having no role than play your scene partner.â If Sangyeon is thrown off by your statement, he does a good job hiding it, just like the supposed perfect actor when it comes to handling ad-libs on stage. He would never understand what it means to be an actorâwhat makes a production successfulâif he didnât appreciate the minor roles.Â
If he had something to say back to you, you donât give him a window to do so for you have taken your leave. You first came with a desire for the auditions to be over, but now, you come with a desire to prove youâre an actor capable of any role. It didnât matter what anyone else thought, especially whatever Lee Sangyeon seemed to think about you.
For the first time, you and Hyunjae played the leading roles in a production. Sangyeon was left as an understudy.
Although you were in university, itâs not that you could escape Sangyeon for you two were in theater. Thankfully, the productions youâve had a chance to work on didnât always have Sangyeon playing the leading role.
(Though, he did still play a handful. Perhaps he still held some charm over the university crowd.)
But due to the bigger cast and production team, it was usually easy for you to avoid him. You know when to take your leave, and you know to tune him out if you can hear him act (or speak, really). Nothing good ever comes out of interacting with Sangyeon; itâs best to limit your interactions with him for it would preserve your sanity.
But the universe seems to have other plans for you. Face-to-face with his name situated right beside the name in which your character is romantically interested, you cannot help but read his name again, and again, and again.
You wish that this is just a nightmare, that you fell asleep in the middle of Mr. Wonâs class, and that youâre paying for the consequences by your consciousness presenting you with the worst outcome. God, you really did mean it when you said you would rather settle for no role than play Sangyeonâs scene partner.
Stupid Sangyeon, Sangyeon, Sangyeon. And as if it were the curse of the Bloody Mary, saying his name three times brings you to your demise.
âHuh, guess you ended up being my scene partner after all.â
You whip your head to where the devil stands, right beside you with arms crossed as his eyes remain on the casting list. His gaze lands on you, and a smug grin rests on his face. âIâm wondering if youâll talk to Kevin or Sir Key about withdrawing from the production.â
His words make you frown. Before you can retort, he walks away, your eyes burning holes into his back. Yunjin could sense the rage within you and kept her hands on your shoulders in an attempt to calm you down.Â
An exasperated sigh leaves you. âI cannot believe that guy.â You look at your best friend who only holds an apologetic look. âCanât believe I have to deal with his shit even âtill now.â
âI know.â She bites on the inside of her cheek. Before she could say more, her phone vibrated in her hand. As she reads out the notification, she groans. âFuck, I need to go. I just remembered I have a project to work on.â She stores her phone away. âWhere are you headed?â
âUhm, Iâm gonna wait for Hyunjae,â you say as your shoulders sag down. As you hear your best friend hum, you spot a teasing smile resting on her lips and you roll your eyes. âYouâve got to stop that.â
âStop what? Iâm not saying anything,â Yunjin attempts to defend herself but you both know sheâs far from innocent.
You shake your head, a giggle leaving you. âWhatever, go! Iâll see you later.â Youâre left staring at the cast list as she takes her leave. Busy hands fiddle with your phone, clicking one of the contacts marked as a favorite. You bring it close to your ear, waiting for him to pick it up.
âHello?â
âHyunjae-ah, where are you?â
âIâm on the way to where the cast is posted!â His hurried reply signals that heâs running to where you are. âI just heard from Joshua that it was released early.â
You chuckle. âYeah, I heard the same from Yunjin. Iâll wait for you.â
âNo need to wait too long.â You look behind you to see your best friend standing a few meters away. His hair is tousled up from all the running but still falls back perfectly in place. His hand combs through it, a grin resting on his lips at the sight of you, as he jogs towards you.
âHey, whereâd you come from?â
His arm finds its spot around your shoulders, bringing you close to his side. All while he is transfixed on the castling list, your gaze rests on your best friend. âI just had Ethicsâoh my god, YOU GOT JULIET!â He spins to face you and brings you into a hug.
âYeah,â your arms find their place around his shoulders as his limbs rest on your waist. âBut, you know, you got Paris.â When you lean back, you only see a grin on his lips.
âYeah, but who cares? I mean, my sweetheart got the part she wanted.â There he goes again, using the pet name that started as a quip but still sticks years later. You roll your eyes at his remark, but before you can say any more, he beats you to it. âDonât think about backing out now.â
A sigh leaves you. âBut,â you glance at the name of your (and Hyunjaeâs) enemy, âIâve gone through enough of him in high school. Canât I live my uni life in peace?â You pout at your best friend, and he chuckles at your behavior, cheeks dusted with hues of red.
âDo you really want to give him the satisfaction of making you quit such a big role?â Would it be that bad to say yes? âCâmon, playing Juliet is a huge deal! Youâre destined to play that role! And, I mean, you wouldnât want to disappoint Sir Key and KevinâŚâ
God, it did hurt you to agree with Hyunjae. You didnât want to waste the time and effort Sir Key and Kevin Moon, the teacher adviser and the director, mustâve put into crafting the cast list. But to go through months with Sangyeon, all for a university play? Itâs not that you were pursuing a career in theater, or acting for that matter.
But would you from a few years backâa high schooler who treated every theater production as if it were a Broadway oneâsay the same thing? Is this the role you wanted to take on as an actor, one willing to step down over a nuisance?Â
With one sigh, Hyunjae knew what your answer was. He smiles before dragging you away from the piece of paper that seems to only bring downpour. âI donât know if this will make you feel better but I heard from Changmin that thereâll be a house party. Maybe we can drink the sour mouths away.â
âDrink the what away?â You chuckle at his choice of words. âHyunjae, Iâm so glad you arenât a scriptwriter.â
He scoffs at your insult, âBut you get what I mean.â
âI do not.â
He rolls his eyes, playfully shoving you which causes you to giggle. âLetâs just drink the bitterness away. We could be meeting our other castmates and the prod team, maybe getting to know them more.â
You cannot help but hum as you ponder over your schedule for the rest of the week. âI donât know. I have this one homework for Mr. Wonâs class that I sure as hell donât know how to answer. I mean, I donât even know what the instructions are!â
âAh, just trust me! Iâll help you out with that. Just,â he stops you two in the middle of the hallway. There were barely any students for they scrambled off to their respective classrooms or looked for lunch. He pouts at you, his hands now holding yours as his fingers draw circles on the back of your dorsals. âGo with me, will you?â
It doesnât take you a moment for you to make up your mind; youâre sure the trade-offs that come from that party wonât save your ass from Physics or Sangyeon.
But when Hyunjae leans in, his lips ghosting your ear, your breath hitches. âIâll take good care of you, sweetheart.â Youâre nothing but a puddle (and a sheep). So once he leans back, you nod. At the sight of your confirmation, he smiles. âOkay, letâs go have lunch.â
You can only hope that Hyunjae (or any of your friends, really) understood annular momentum, or whatever itâs called.
(You truly are a lost cause in Physics, and youâll be blaming it on Sangyeon. Every inconvenience is caused by him, anyway.)
For anyone who thinks theater kids couldnât party, theyâre wrong (partially, only). Sure, there were the occasional show tunes that played from Kevinâs playlist, and a certain someone named Ju Haknyeon who belts out of the blue, but no one complained.
With only a few drinks in, you and Hyunjae are buzzed. And although you both agreed on using this party as an opportunity to get to know the other members, you still found yourselves sticking togetherâshoulders bumped, hands laced, or arms wrapped around each other.
Now, you two along with Yunjin and Younghoon were hanging out in the kitchen, not away from where the crowd was but quiet enough to have your own conversations.
âYou know, I finally got to talk to Jihyo,â Yunjin says before taking a sip from her drink.
Younghoon tilts his head. âPark Jihyo? The one playing Lady Capulet?â A hum of confirmation leaves her as she continues to drink. âDid you see her audition for The Bakerâs Wife for Into The Woods?â
Yunjin nods, letting the rim of her cup leave her lips and smacking Younghoonâs arm repeatedly. âI was able to sit in for the auditions because I signed up for prod team instead. Girl, I canât believe she didnât get the part.â
âYeah, didnât Rei get the part instead?â Hyunjae asks to which Younghoon nods.
âDidnât she audition for Little Red Riding Hood?â
Yunjin shrugs at your question. âIâm not sure, but I do see her playing that role versus the wife.â She sets her cup on the kitchen counter behind her. âDonât get me wrong, though. Theyâre both outstanding actors but I wouldâve changed the casting. Some of them wouldâve played different roles that suited them vocally and acting-wise.â
âWell,â you sigh. âYou know that some directors are just batshit blind.â Hyunjae cannot help but elbow you, earning a whine from you as he chuckles. âIâm serious, though! Like, look at Hyunjae! Heâs the perfect example.â
âOuch. Thanks for reminding me of my tragic history.â
You roll your eyes at Hyunjaeâs words, the playful tone evident in his words. âIâm just saying, some directors donât know what theyâre doing.â
In no way did you have anything against Kevin. Youâre certain that he knew what he was doing; it didnât sit right that Hyunjae lost a huge role to the same prick who couldnât get off his high horse. But there is no point in contesting because your best friend wouldnât allow you. All that mattered to him was that you got the role.
âYes, but I trust Kevin. Honestly, Iâm just glad I still landed a role,â Hyunjae shrugs as he sips.
Younghoon hums along. âExactly! I heard Hyeongjun didnât even make it to ensemble.â
A groan rips out of your throat, knowing that the two made a good point. âYeah, I trust him, too. I just,â you shake your head at the thought of your enemy. âIâm just sick of Sangyeon.â
At the mention of the devilâs name, you feel an arm wrap around your shoulders, your shoulder hitting against something firm. And when your eyes drift to the stranger, youâre met with the bane of your existence.
âTalking about me, sweetheart?â
To hear Sangyeon use that pet name had your stomach churning. You plant your hand against his chest in an attempt to push him away, but you feel his pecs through the white, cotton material, and you quickly retract it. Instead, you shrug his arm off.
âWhat are you doing here?â
His gaze rests on the boy beside you, shooting him a smile. âShouldnât we use this time to build our chemistry?â To others, Sangyeon may have genuine enthusiasm to get to know his scene partner, but you and Hyunjae knew that his grin held nothing but arrogance.
You move closer to Hyunjae and his hand finds its spot on your waist. Sangyeonâs eyes flicker to your best friendâs hand but he still holds the same smile.
âSangyeon, itâs just acting. I can easily fake chemistry,â you shake your head, trying to scoot even further towards Hyunjae. Thereâs barely any space between you two. âUnless your supposed great ass canât fake it. Did all those years spent in theater not teach you anything?â
Thereâs no way to fake chemistry; everyone knows that, from actors to audiences. But when youâre face-to-face with Sangyeon, you would take any opportunity to get back at him for what heâs doneânot only to Hyunjae but to you, as well.
Despite your words, Sangyeonâs expression never wavers. Stoic Sangyeonâhe always knew how to get on your nerves. âIsnât the point of this party to get to know each other?â You roll your eyes, looking away to give your eyes a break from the nuisance.
But when you feel his breath fanning against your left cheek, youâre afraid to say anything. The distance between you two right in front of your friends makes it feel like itâs forbidden, especially when Hyunjae has his arm wrapped around you.
âEspecially with our kissing scenes.â
A chill runs down your spine. You know what heâs doingâembarrassing you in front of your high school friends just to rile you up, and rubbing it into Hyunjae that he got the lead role once more. Whatever place Sangyeon first held in your life didnât matter anymore; heâs dug himself deeper into the pits of hell that you never knew of until this moment.
You want to push Sangyeon off and drag Hyunjae out of the house, alone together and far away from him, but a booming voice breaks the tension.
âWow! Itâs nice to see our Romeo and Juliet getting to know each other,â Kevin comes into the kitchen with a grin and gains everyoneâs attention.
Under the gaze of your director, you donât think twice about what you do. âYeah!â Your arm quickly links with Sangyeonâs, and you notice Sangyeon freezes up. Itâs out of character for you to do such; you can only imagine the expressions of your friends. âJust old friends catching up, right?â When you look at Sangyeon, you notice a flicker of confusion in his eyes, but your forced smile is enough for him to get the message.
âYeah,â he smiles at Kevin. âIâm just glad that my Juliet is someone I know.â My Juliet? Oh, youâre going to be sick.Â
Kevin is amused with the newfound information. âI didnât know you two were friends! I never see you two interacting.â
Perhaps your animosity towards Sangyeon is obvious but you werenât going to allow the feud to get in the way of the role of a lifetimeâKevin can never know about the water that has gotten stained with red.
âOh, we all went to the same high school.â
âSame theater club, too,â Sangyeon chimes in.
Kevin looks at everyone with amazement. âOh, thatâs so cool! From the same high school to the same university. Iâm sure youâre all happy to see each other in the theater scene again.â Everyone but one, really.
âIâm looking forward to seeing everyone work in the production,â his eyes rested on you and Sangyeon once more. âEspecially the chemistry between you two.â
When Kevin takes his leave, you all bid him farewell. And once he was an earshot away, you shrugged Sangyeon off. âSee? I can fake chemistry.â Your glare finally causes a small reaction from himâthe startled expression on his face makes you reign victorious. âClearly, you need to work on that.â
If Sangyeon wants to retort, you donât allow him to do so as you leave the kitchen with Hyunjaeâs hand in yours.
A few hours have passed since Sangyeon decided to come and dampen Hyunjaeâs and your moods. Thankfully, you havenât seen him since but it could be because you were too drunk to care, or maybe you were too distracted by the boy whose lap you sit on.
âHey, why donât we get out of here?â Your best friendâs lips graze your ear. His hands hold onto your hip, his thumbs drawing patterns on the exposed skin thatâs starting to peek. You giggle as you shake your head, earning a chuckle from him. âWhy not?â
His whines have you dizzy (or itâs probably the effects of the alcohol), but you do your best to answer. âHyunjae, weâre supposed to be getting to know our castmates better. Isnât that why you asked me to go with you?â As you looked at everyone in the living room, you know for sure there was no chance to talk to them anymore for they were too intoxicated to remember tonightâs events.
When he presses his lips to your jawline, you cannot help but close your eyes at the sensation. âYeah, but we arenât even talking to anyone. Why donât we just go back to your place and just, I donât know, make out?â He whispers the last words as if it were taboo.
This is what you and Hyunjae wereâfriends who couldnât help but enter territories that blur the line between platonic and romantic. Since you two first entered university, you and Hyunjae couldnât seem to keep your hands to themselves, always finding their places on each other. It started in such a blurâat a party just like this, both intoxicatedâbut both of you couldnât help but keep it going. You still limited your relationship to occasional make-out sessions and snuggling, but you never went past such stages with him. The two of you didnât mind the unclear boundaries, anyway.
âI donât know,â you finally look at your best friend. His eyes seem to glimmer, and the heat rushes to your cheeks. âI havenât gotten to talk to Daniel.â
His eyebrows shoot up in amusement. âKang Daniel? The one playing Lord Capulet?â As you hum, he chuckles. âI canât believe youâre thinking of another man while youâre on my lap, sweetheart.â There he goes again, using that pet name.
âWhat do you mean? I just want to get to know my castmates better.â The teasing tone is evident. You crave the attentionâthe possessionâHyunjae seems to have for you.
And when his nose brushes against yours, all thoughts are knocked out of you. âSweetheart, you donât need to know anyone else, not even their names. You already have me.â
For a moment, you almost think this is itâthe two of you will enter domains never traversed and there will be no way to go back from it, but you donât mind, not with him, anyway.
His eyes flicker to your lips, and you hold your breath. âDonât do that,â he chuckles. âYou need to catch your breath before I take it away.â
Before he can do anything, you feel the couch move as someone takes a seat beside him. Youâre ready to put some distance between the two of you, but when your eyes land on the stranger, you realize that the universe is not by your side or Hyunjaeâs.
Hyunjae scoffs and his hand cradles your face, an attempt to get your attention back, but your blood boils over the sight of the same guy who always ruins everything.
âI didnât know Juliet gets so touchy with Paris.â Sangyeonâs comment has you rolling your eyes. Clearly, youâre too distracted by him, and Hyunjae canât do anything but give up. Instead, your best friend just settles on holding you close to him while your gaze remains on the devil.
âWhatâs with you? We donât have to talk to each other unless itâs for rehearsals.â A frustrated sigh leaves you. âDonât you know that all we have to do is act?â
When all youâre met with is the same cocky smile he flashed Hyunjae back at the kitchen, you shake your head. Youâre about to glance at your best friend, prepared to tell him that you two should leave and retreat to your place.
That is until you feel someoneâs fingers hold onto your chin, redirecting your gaze to Sangyeon. Now, youâre face-to-face with Sangyeon, the distance between you two is even smaller in comparison to when you were in the kitchen.Â
The air is knocked out of your lungs, your eyes looking right at Sangyeonâs. Whatever you looked like had him smirkingâyou were defenseless against him for once.
âCanât handle it?â The question is meant to provoke you, have your blood boil so that you scream profanities at him. Youâre sure heâs pertaining to all the little stunts heâs been doing; teasing you to get a reaction from you, acting like you two are friends, and making comments about your acting experience.
But for a second, you almost think heâs talking about himselfâcould you handle him not only on the show dates but also be surrounded by him for the upcoming two months?
And once more, your brain turns into mush. The lights become streaks of different colors, and they do their job of making Sangyeon look differentâstill the same cocky motherfucker, but now, you want a taste.
Your mouth goes dry and youâre scared to exhale, but Sangyeon only smiles before letting his hand leave your chin. Itâs clear heâs happy by your soundless reaction. When he stands up from the couch, he glances at Hyunjae, and his smile turns almost sinister.
You wouldâve said something like you always do, but youâre unable to form a coherent sentence. Youâre intoxicated; the alcoholâs still in your system, but Sangyeonâs gaze shows that the drinks youâve had are nothing compared to him.
With that, he takes his leave. Whatever moment you and Hyunjae shared is now lostâall thanks to Sangyeon, once again.
if you enjoyed reading this, please do reblog with feedback!
#deoboyznet#dbn: holiday party#kflixnet#bjnet#k-labels#works of moni#the boyz#the boyz x reader#lee sangyeon#lee hyunjae#lee jaehyun#lee sangyeon x reader#lee hyunjae x reader#lee jaehyun x reader
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Is it normal that Iâm legitimately so scared of saying pretty morally tame things like âI donât want to talk about genocide because it makes me severely uncomfortableâ or in general expressing my political opinion.
Like iâm not even kidding when I say that all my drafts are just my possibly offensive (probably not) political takes iâm just so scared of everyone leaving me itâs not even funny.
Anyway i also think that if you talk about Palestine but not Ukraine you are a victim of Russian Propagandaâ˘ď¸
Iâm sorry I donât know why i did this have a nice day ok baiiiiiii
Here's the thing. You and every other average social media user should not have to masquerade as a sudden in-depth expert on every single social, political, humanitarian, etc. crisis that we are dealing with in this wretchedly miserable excuse for a timeline. It should not be a baseline expectation on you that when you log onto your little social media in your little average life, you have to come up with The Correct Opinions on everything and if you don't, you're "perpetrating oppression" by not vigorously spreading misinformation, instead of simply admitting that you don't know what to do, you as an average citizen are not in a position of making this change and therefore don't actually have to spend every waking minute obsessing about it, and that maybe, just maybe, you'd like to spend more time informing yourself until and/or IF you decide you want to talk about it. This is the same as the Instagram Activists (TM) who traumatize themselves to the point of PTSD by constantly consuming torture and/or war porn and/or graphic content about murdered children because they "don't have the right to look away." Actually, you do. You are able to make choices to control your personal social media use and to set boundaries as to what you do and do not want to do and/or see, rather than insisting that the only moral choice is to literally mentally destroy yourself with all the weight of human suffering in the world and then expected to act as a de facto expert on all of it, on pain of being Cancelled. This is a stupid, irrational, unhealthy, and generally idiotic expectation. You should not have to take part in it. Nobody should.
Likewise, I think that this is a large part of why people are so scared to voice any opinion that goes against the Prevailing Groupthink: they are afraid of losing friends, of having nasty bad-faith internet trolls say mean things about them, being accused of being a "bad person," or otherwise being guilt-tripped, shamed, and blamed for not centering their entire existence around something that they cannot actually do anything about. Once again, people think the only way you can be Known to Oppose Something Problematic (tm) is if you post on social media about it all the time. Forget whatever you might be doing offline, in your real life, or otherwise; it "doesn't count" if you don't make a big virtuous display of your Rightthink, or you will be viciously harassed. Now, look, I am old and/or tired enough that I don't give a shit what stupid internet users say about me, but I can tell you that I sure did when I was younger, it was incredibly painful to be on the end of those kinds of attacks, and it's (again!) not something you should just have to expect as a baseline level of gaslighting and harassment. As I have said. This is Tumblr. It is a stupid blue website mostly for fandom and/or three in-jokes. This is not a platform where we are expected To Do Social Justice all the time, nor should it be. As for Elon Musk's Twitter: yeah. No.
Also: yes, if you do spend all your waking moments obsessing over Palestine, but say nothing whatsoever about Ukraine and/or openly support Russia, you are in fact very much a victim of Russian Propaganda and you 100% support genocide when it's done by an "anti-western" state that you support for that reason alone. You only care because you can use the cause to make yourself look morally superior, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with opposing genocide on a basic, universal, or fundamental level. The end.
(I hope you have a nice day too. The anger in this is not directed at you. I support everything you've said here and hope that you're able to set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.)
#wolfieisacat#ask#politics for ts#apparently i am in a fighting mood today#so i might as well get it all out
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Last line game!
I got tagged by @drivestraight đ¤ and this time I actually have something to post bc I was writing during FP2 lol. But it's going to be a brief snippet, not a line.
Who knows if it'll turn into anything.
Anyway I'm sure many of you have already done it, but I'll tag @powerful-owl @eirianerisdar @formula-fun @foggieststars @liesmyth
No pressure tho!
Snip below the cut ->
The truth is, Max finds Charles unbelievably annoying.
He's chaotic and unpredictable. He's staring at Max across the club one moment, and in the next, seems to have forgotten he exists.
He swaps clothes with people at random, whipping off his faded Gucci t-shirt in the middle of the dance floor, to trade it for some girl's crop top, laughing and crowding close to her to block the view of her breasts while they make the exchange.
When he disappears to the bathroom, Max never knows whether he'll reappear with glitter on his eyelids, or white powder on his nose.
He never pays for his own drinks, but he never gets too drunk. He never passes out or gets sick; always sharp: sharp eyes, sharp tongue.
He flirts with every person in the room, and probably sleeps with them too.
He sucks and tongues obscenely at a lollipop all night, making sure Max is watching as he hollows his cheeks and lets his eyes flutter shut, then he leaves with someone else.
He ignores Max completely, then goes home with him.
Not always.
But sometimes.
He's always gone when Max wakes up; nothing left behind, nothing missing.
He refuses to stay the night, but refuses to let Max forget him. And he refuses to let Max know anything about him.
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What It Cost
****THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY BASED ON REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE PEOPLE OR MUSIC MENTIONED IN THIS STORY OUTSIDE OF LILITH AND SADIE AND MAYBE A COUPLE OTHERS. DO NOT READ IF YOUâRE NOT UP FOR FANFIC INVOLVING REAL PEOPLE***
Terrible summary: Five years since she last spoke to him. Since she last saw him. Now his face and his voice is everywhere. She can't escape him.
Five years ago Noah destroyed her and the life they had built. Now heâs back and seeking to make amends. As much as she wants to say that it's too little too late, is it?
CW/TW: Angst, mention of addiction, cheating. Mention of character death. Language. Smut (later on). PinV, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it, friends), oral (f&m receiving). All smutty warnings happen later on, so Iâll update TW/CW warning labels as those parts are written and posted. If I forget anything, please let me know so I can fix it! Thank you!
Masterlist
Part 10 - Lilith
Fingertips lightly trailed across her face. Over her eyebrow, down the side, across her jaw. Light as a feather they traced the bridge of her nose and she sighed. He used to wake her up just like this when they first got together. Featherlight touches across her skin. With a sigh she cracked one eye open, peering up at him.
"What are you doing?" she grumbled, voice still thick with sleep.
"Just looking at you." His voice was soft, mesmerized.
"Why? Weirdo."
With a sleepy sigh she reached her arms above her head, stretching. The two of them had spent hours talking, completely wrapped up in each other, before she finally passed out. They had talked about everything. From what had gone wrong and their own parts in it, to everything that had been right and what they'd done and accomplished in the last five years. That last part she had done most of the talking, with Noah just lying there, listening, asking the occasional question. She had tried to turn the conversation to him and he just kept circling it back around to her.
"Have you seen yourself? You're fucking perfect."
Lilith quickly pulled the blanket up over her head, hiding herself from his view as the blush erupted on her cheeks. There was no slow build up to it. Never had been for her. And she absolutely loathed it and how easily he could still make her blush.
"You're so stupid," she laughed. "I'm a mess!"
The blanket was flung off of her and his body covered hers instead, his head resting on her chest. His long arms wrapped around her, squeezing tightly. Should she still be here with him? Probably not. There was still a lot to figure out. But she would be lying if she said she hadn't missed this. Being woken up just like this most mornings.
"I don't know how to fix what I did." His voice was quiet, muffled against her chest.
"Maybe you can't." She ran her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp.
Maybe there was no fixing anything. Honestly, she wasn't even sure she wanted anything fixed right now. Or ever. Mended, sure. But fixed? What would that even take?
"Tell me what to do."
"I can't, Noah."
Lilith sighed, shifting a leg to wrap loosely around him. How many times had they laid exactly like this, just existing together? The exact position they found themselves in every time he had come back from tour. After every argument. Every minor disagreement. They would lay together just like this and shut out the entire world. Her heart aches at the memories, breath hitching.
"Do you work today?" He shifted, pressing his lips to the valley between her breasts. Soft and innocent.
"No."
"Stay here with me today? We can watch whatever you want. Order delivery." His soft, pleading voice nearly broke her heart. Something about the way he asked. Like he needed her with him.
She chewed on her bottom lip, mulling it over. What harm could it do to just spend the day with him? He really wasn't asking much. But still, part of her was unsure.
"Please? Can we just pretend? Just for today?"
His voice cracked, and any resolve she'd had before vanished. The Noah she now knew was different than the one she had known before. Vulnerable. Didn't hide what he was feeling. It was a bit of a shock, but also kind of refreshing. She couldn't count all the times he had hidden himself away from her rather than just letting her in.
"Yeah. We can do that."
Noah gripped her tighter, kissing that spot just between her breasts again before settling. That had always been his favorite place on her. Right there on her chest. Without fail his head always found its way to rest right there. She couldn't help but laugh at the memory of the first time he had done that. The way he had snuggled right in, kissing all over her chest.
"What's so funny?" He grumbled at her.
"You've changed but not that much. Always gotta have your head on tits."
"Come on! They're boobs! And they're great ones!" He laughed, tipping his head up to look at her. "But here," he moved one hand, placing it over her heart. "Right here I can hear your heart beating and that's far more comforting than you think."
Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @alwaysfightforwhoyouare
#bad omens cult#noah sebastian#noah sebastian fanfiction#bad omens fanfiction#noah sebastian smut#angst#noah sebastian angst#noah sebastian fic#fluff#noah sebastian fluff
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The post of saddest(?) supernatural moment gave me the idea to maka a list of my own... You know, an honest list which will not push any agenda or exclude one of the main character completely to forcefully feed to a romantic pair which does not even exist.
so here it goes-
10. Dean's reaction after Sam's death in 13x21 :
This one is so nominal and insignificant to be in this list and not one of top moments for a lot, but this scene ripped my heart open when I saw it for the first time. It manages to show us how Dean's whole world will literally fall apart and make him an empty vessel if Sam is gone and he can do nothing about it - and Jensen manages to portray it with just a walk, two blank eyes and then one drop of tear. Kudos.
9. Church Scene in 'Sacrifice' (8x23):
Anyone who has not cried in this scene? Perfeftly shows the core of the show, the deep love between two brothers- despite all the reasons, all the idiological differences, all the mature discussion and all- Sam is the baby brother of Dean; at the end he needs Dean to be there as a big bro, to tell him to let it go, to clutch him in his chest. Ultimately they will always choose each other and nothing else will come between them.
8. Dean's death in 9x23:
One of the saddest death of Dean, and perhaps it comes to this list because of the build-up and drama follows this. Both had their own reasons for the tension they had this whole season, but when the tragedy comes it hits so hard that all those logics fell apart. It scares to peep in Sam's headspace at this time of dean's dying- imagine you discarding the person you love the most as you are reasonably angry with him, and in a few days he is dying in your arms when you have hardly talked out your differences.
7. Why donât you believe in us too (14x12) :
Probably should come much later in this list, but this scene stood out in my eyes because it was such a fresh air in the terrible plotless mimicry that SPN had become in later seasons. The scene after ages which sums up Sam and Dean, the codependent brothers whom we had forgotten. Such a long time after we see Sam the little brother, witness the emotional turmoil he was going through silently and how it exploded. The only scene which makes season 14 worth remembering. Also Jared just nailed this scene!
6.) Dead or Alive (3x16):
This scene breaks my heart in pieces. Dean bravely going for the last fight before the horrible death he will be facing. And he trying to cheer up baby bro, he wants the last memory with his brother to be in this car- singing along together... How his face slowly glooms at the end and his eyes full of fear... Early seasons really were gems!
5. Sam in Mystery spot (3x11) :
Undoubtedly one of the best SPN episode with perfect blend of mystery, fun, laughter, tragedy and emotion... The funny vibe of the episode ends in a moment when we see Sam is not waking up from the nightmare loop. Then we see a robot- a scary robot who only wants to get his brother back at any cost. This episode is yet another example of how Sam loves Dean just as fiercely as Dean does, and he is not any less codependent.
4. Barn scene and alone Sam (15x20) :
God! What can I say about this!
Just want to add, Sam wandering alone in the bunker after creamating Dean hurts me equally.
3. John's death (2x01):
Cannot forget this one. This episode happens to be another favourite of mine, and the way John sacrifices himself for his son proves that a father can go to any extent for his children. The farewell scene of John - where he asks for forgiveness and goodbye to dean without him understanding brings tears to my eyes. Such a beautiful acting by JDM and so realistic portrayal of a flawed, helpless and loving father.
2. End of Season 5 (5x22)
The ground was set, the battle was about to begin, the ultimate faceoff between Lucifer and Michael was going to start- then what happens? A stubborn idiot boy with a muscle car and hellbent attitude comes in between- knowing that he cannot survive this- just because one of these celestial entities have captured his brother as a vessel and he wonât leave his brother alone. Till his last drop of blood he keeps on trying- trying to reach his brother who is trapped under something much bigger- keeps on telling that It's okay, he is not alone, his big brother is here. And guess what, he succeed. His brother broke free the bind of one of the strongest entity of universe and fought. The climax scene gives me goosebump always followed by a bunch of grief and saddness the ending carries. Had season 5 been the last season of SPN, and this be the exact way the series ended, I would absolutely have no regret!
1. Sammy's first Death (2x21):
No matter how many sad scenes are perfectly executed in SPN, nothing can exceed the emotion of this one. Jensen will also not be able to exceed the level of performance be set in this particular scene. Period.
So this is it... I must have excluded many. And turns out my list is full of Sam and Dean only and I am also not unbiased đ¤Łđ¤Ł Well, there are sad scenes that do not involve only the brothers and I still like them, but not my top 10. Maybe have to make list of top 11 to 20 in order to include them. đ
Please share your favourite saddest top 10 as well.
#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#sam and dean#john winchester#spn#jensen ackles#j2#anti destiel#top 10 list#jared padalecki#best episode
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LET ME BE HONEST | HC
luffy x gn!reader
post time-skip (fishman island) + flight luff + light angst + realization of feelings + oblivious luffy
A/N : light fluff cus idk how to write fluff. lowkey this is probs off character but wtvr
the day his crew disappeared from sight, one after another, was one of the worst days of luffyâs life
tragedy after tragedy, he kept feeling on edge and absolutely useless. and after aceâs death? he didnât know how to live anymore
his crew was everything he had left now. and while reminiscing that and acknowledging how he has to keep going, how his nakama are dear to him, deep down, the strong urge to see you first ignited
from time to time, heâd visualize your smile, your laugh. heâd remember how youâd joke around with sanji, straying away from an initial memory of how good sanjiâs food is. that craving for sanjiâs menu straying to a craving of you.
whatever initial thought he had started with on his moments of thinking to himself, theyâd stray to you.
as he travels back to sabaody, he wonders. when did these feelings surge?
was it because of how close you to had become during the first few moments in sabaody, and then being ripped away from his grasp to disappear into thin air, screaming for luffy, that made him think of you the most?
the way you were the last to escape his efforts pf saving?
no, it couldnât be that. heâd always had an eye out for you. he realizes this when he finally sees the others on the new ship, how his eyes dart from one face to another, bright and joyful, but grow more when they land on you.
itâs an afterthought, his feelings, after that. he stands firm with the belief of suppressing them. not wanting something to give him a minor setback like these last few times.
if he loves you, and you two hit it off, he wouldnât stand losing you. not again, not when, hypothetically, you two were now one.
itâs dumb, probably, butâŚ
âluffy, have you eaten?â you ask gently, but thereâs still a firmness to your voice, as you pull him away from the bubbleâs wall.
ây/n iâm trying to catch fish for a reason,â he says playfully but to his surprise it comes out cold and harsh.
you give him a bizarre look, and drift your attention to what zoro says instead, and luffy almost complies to poking holes in the bubble, to which usopp and chopper hit them for.
to their dismay, sanji enters a frenzy drop so it diverts everyoneâs attention to the food luffy brought and decided to share.
one thing luffy seems to forget to acknowledge is how impulsive he is.
he grabs enough food for himself sure, stuffing his face full as everyone listens to franky, but he eventually notices how you hand him meat once heâs done with the previous one.
when your hands finally touch, he blinks at you, and your small, soft smile makes his heart leap to his throat.
âgimme that,â he says as he yanks the meat from your hand and scarfs it down.
your laugh rings in his ears.
âthereâs plenty more, captain.â you say, and he feels himself blush at the attention you give him.
time goes on and as they (him, sanji and zoro) return from their side quest (taming the octopus) you voice out your worries but still praise them for taming such a creature
for some reason, when luffy tries to ignore something, it bugs him even more.
and recently, heâs become hyper aware of your existence.
when the bubble pops in their escape from the fishman pirates, heâs aware of how close you were to him when the current dragged everyone
yet, when he wakes up, his immediate reaction was to question his surroundings and reach out to you
mildly upset at the separation, he ignores it and goes on with the journey. eventually, he finds you again, with brook.
âhatty! how about we go for a meal? i believe you mentioned something that i believe my captain would love,â you say as you walk away from brook being bombarded with mermaids.
âi was getting to that,â pappagu grins, âwhat do yâall say to some sea-monster meat?â
âYOU HAVE MEAAAT!?â luffy is delighted, to say the least.
and his feelings for you are an afterthought he desperately tries to suppress. this sudden raging desire to have you close, to keep you safe enough is driving him insane.
donât get him wrong, he knows youâre strong, he knows you can fend for yourself, but this fear of losing you like he had two years ago, without knowing (only hoping and trusting) your situation gives him serious nerves.
but heâs your captain, he has to worry for you. every now and then. sometimes.
but man, seeing you light up at his jokes, and seeing you safe and sound with the others makes him feel so good.
and knowing youâd follow him through and through just makes him feel a certain way.
âLUFFY, YOU SHUT UP!! IâM DECIDING WHERE WE GO FROM NOW ON!!â nami screams.
âHELL NO! IâM THE CAPTAIN!!â luffy barks.
with a laugh, you say âheâs the captain.â
âY/N WHOâs SIDE ARE YOU ON!â usopp grunts.
and as they go up to the surface once more, exited for a new adventure and getting closer to his dream, he reminisces once more.
he has his nakama, all thatâs left for him.
butâŚ
ây/n,â he calls for you unconsciously as you walk by.
you pause, giving him your undivided attention.
âyea?â
âare you ready?â
âfor the new world?â
he nods.
you smile, so bright. ânope, but iâll follow you,â you me eyes are warm and your aura is gentle, âthrough and through.â
but luffy⌠as he stares at you, feels his feelings surge with more force.
he can be a little more selfish. he could take advantage of what the world has put in his hands.
âgood,â he says with a smile, âcus i need you.â
âiâm at your service-â
âmore than a nakama.â
you blink, surprised and taken aback. âm-more?â you furrow your brows, heat threatening to reach your cheeks.
âmore.â he says softly. so soft you couldnât believe this was luffy, your loud and impulsive captain.
but⌠this was also impulsive, you can tell when his face freezes.
âare you sure?â you ask, your heart hammering.
âwhen am i not sure of something?â
you stare at him before cracking a smile, âah.â
âit was driving me crazy.â he pauses, then looks to the side, puckering his lips shyly, âyou.. you were driving me insane.â
âdidnât seem like it,â you tease. it was true but you knew deep down there was no chance, or so you believed. after all, heâs your⌠âcaptain.â
luffy blushes, âi didnât know⌠what.. or ⌠how.â
âiâm glad youâre honest,â you smile, âluffy.â
and his ears ring, eyes wide and amazed. youâve only called him captain.
âiâll work hard,â he says.
you burst into laughter, âluffy,â you say as you put a hand on his arm, close enough to see his red ears. âgo with the flow. weâll be fine.â
âyeah,â he smiles a bit, darting between your lips and your eyes.
and luffy is impulsive. but above all, he thinks heâll add in love to the list as well.
#luffy x you#one piece#luffy x reader#one piece luffy#one piece x y/n#luffy x gn reader#gn reader#one piece x reader#anime hcs#one piece hcs#luffy headcanons
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