#wtf do you have to be on to come up with this shit bc i cant decide if i want it or want to avoid it to avoid this dumbassery
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HAI BESTIE ITS 🪐💜 AGAIN!!!
omg ur post abt not calling it desires bc it’s already yours so wtf are you desiring… EXACTLY!!! LITERALLY THAT!!
I always had this sort of cognitive dissonance when it comes to talking abt like the concept of wanting something and “trying to get it” when in all reality you don’t want something you already have.
Also I wanted to mention this little trick I use to help for people who have a hard time or just aren’t used to affirming something to themselves if they’re too caught up in the “3D” or whatever!! For all y’all ‘logical’ people this might work for you
Basically I spew out a list of stuff that I know are undeniable fact and include whatever it is I manifest in that list so my brain will receipt it as a fact as well! There is a psychology term for this where your brain will categorize something based on the surrounding information/context but I forgot what it was called LMAOO
Essentially I tell myself something along this:
“The sky is blue. I have a phone. I breathe oxygen. I have 2 living parents. I’m sitting in my apartment with (partner) rn. I graduated highschool. Grass is green. I’m good at art. it’s snowing outside right now. I’m a millionaire. My sister is 14 years old. I ate scrambled eggs for breakfast. Water is made up of one hydrogen atom two oxygen atoms. I know how to braid hair. I’ve got a huge following on social media. My friends are (insert names), I love my friends. I’m friends with (celeb.) ice is cold. Fire is hot. I have a masculinely androgynous body. My family is accepting of queer people. I am Arab. My family isn’t religious.”
Etc etc, it really helps me feel comfortable with understanding how it is FACTUAL I have it regardless of what the 3D shows me or not!
( something I find so funny is how since i deal with psychosis, in my episodes I tend to think of everything as fake and a simulation. and though I’m not having an episode I still think of the 3D and 4D with that lens bc this shit is just a slow ass loading simulation fr! Like I already changed and clicked and did whatever I changed but it loads slow as hell so although I’m not seeing the changes I know it’ll show up bc it has to)
babes.... when i tell you i do the same exact thinggggg! I list out facts that I know with ones that align with what I've manifested to prove to myself that I don't have to feel any inherent thing, just be and think as the person who has something they wanted. It's so great and just shows you how everything is truly just our assumptions of them.
#🪐💜 anon#anon ask#itsrlymine#law of assumption#imagination is reality#manifesting#loa tumblr#lawofassumption#shifting#loassumption#manifest#reality shift
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this isn't even just about a ship. the comic was dog shit, from the endless time loop garbage, to how out of character everyone became increasigly, to the movie style dialogue, to Venom 2021 ending on a C-plot about Old Man Dylan who made demonic deals and talks like movie Venom to Loki in a post-apocalyptic future we barely know anything about.
this is a "venom" comic where in VENOM, aka Eddie or Dylan and the symbiote, rarely appear, and that after having been seperated by editorial already a bazillion times but now with a decreasing amount of importance bc Eddie doesn't seem to care any bit about them much anymore.
and no i don't even expect writers nor writers to gaf about a ship, but at least just Venom as a team and know how they function. but all the writers do is make Dylan only more and more traumatized, make Eddie feel less important + they swap out hosts every few panels so both 616 Venom fans and new readers have no idea wtf is going on or why they should get attached to anyone. the writing is on par with BBC Sherlock in the way that it's all nihilistic bullshit full of plot twists but with each you get told nothing matters in the end (quite literally with all the all-knowing monologues). oh and they made Peter act like he always loved the symbiote and felt weirdly horny while wearing it which is ??? but idk how to feel ab Peter getting to talk to it more than Eddie, who shared a telepathic bond with his Other and son for a few panels.
and then Venom War ended on 192835 random things happening in a row and Eddie fucking off without even saying anything to his son and the Other also just leaving with a cheap line about Dylan being his son as if that would make up for all the bad writing.
and then the upcoming comic series are about Eddie bonded to Carnage, the symbiote who he apparently made a deal with to save both their lives while normally they want e/o dead and he was ready to die just there. he chopped off his own hand in Venom Island just to not be bonded to Carnage! come on. Eddie talked more to anyone but his Other in these entire comic runs.
and the other new series that these whole runs were made for promoting apparently, will be about some random fucking guy as Venom, which already had some dubious racist official art for it yesterday so that's just great.
the only clever thing was that Ewing and editors picked up from Cates's ending that the KIB era was doomed to fail, but they went about it in the most needlessly complex convoluted way.
this should've been called 'a bazillion Eddies fighting for their son but then randomly forgetting about having any care for him besides being kind enough to not try to kill him and also Venom is not really in this (2021)', not Venom (2021).
i know shippers are annoying and care too much about just the ship but you don't know me and you don't need to defend awful writing.
there's a lot of reasons why Venom (2021) and Venom War are garbage but this sums up a lot of it
#rambles#i am not good at giving short replies#but tldr no this isnt about ships#this is about venom not even really being in a venom comic
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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It’s funny how in your rules it states you’ve been stalked or whatever like you and your partner haven’t full blown run off people from the fandom. Get a life. You are not a victim no matter how many times you change your name.
Y'know I wasn't going to answer this and can't imagine who this is from, but genuinely have never had any instance with anyone in the fandom aside from people who were previously called out for harassment and stalking. The fact this is sent in to my bronya of all places makes me think it's from one of them. Also you're coming into my inbox on anon... And I'm the one who needs to get a life.....
#drama //#Like ?? Thank you for proving my point wtf#I never claimed to be a victim but you're literally coming to my account a year after I've been inactive#I change my alias once with my old accounts still having my name. What would I be trying to hide from?#Y'all have callouts for a reason. YOU guys are the one driving people out of fandoms#Also one of the people I'm even TALKINg about made a full ass documented death threat I'd be fucking happy to pull up#Also genuinely if you have such a problem with me then come off anon and talk to me personally?? Like. If this is who I'm thinking then#u could literally just ask me#I can own my shit and say when I've handled past situations poorly. But if this is what I'm THINKING of. Then you could get the truth if yo#Just came to me. Bc I'm tired of taking the fall for shit I didn't do.
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how long does gege plan to continue this actually
#it’s getting repetitive dude#like yeah okay. sukuna is the strongest smartest most amazing pookie wookie schnookums and you draw him with one hand every week. we get it#atp it goes beyond my favs js dying or something but this is genuinely just bad writing lmao#every 5 chaps its like ‘oh sukuna is in trouble! blah blah nevermind he wins again!’#and gege is continuing this for so long i’m boutta start being inclined to believe the series just ends in sukuna winning#which would be the worst possible ending bc like#wtf did we do this entire last arc for#and instead of giving us some more lore (even abt the favorite child plotkuna) gege just repeats the same process he’s had since gojos death#WHICH WAS IN SEPTEMBER. WE CURRENTLY HAVE MARCH#idk man maybe this is just me being a complaining little loser but i don’t care tbh#gege isn’t doing himself or us a favor with this lmao#but aaaanyways#jjk#jjk 253#jjk manga spoilers#n e ways until that monocle cat comes up with something new i’ll focus my attention on the sand movie i watched yesterday (and on saturday!)#shit truly was generational denis villeneuve i have never doubted you ever#dune 2 was *chefs kiss*
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Can I be honest here. Finally accepting that I am an introject both explained so much and has been very healing for me. Like after being in denial for 5+ years finally just going "ok fine yeah maybe I am JD from heathers the musical" was like taking a massive weight off my shoulders. Me when I finally accept myself!!!!!! 🐬🌈✨
#herbert speaks#it also just explained a lot#like “why do i have not real memories of dying in an explosion that are distressing to me” (pointing at myself) YOU ARE JD!!!!#“why do i have such an obsession with 711 and slushies?” YOU ARE JD!!!!!!#i still want to fakeclaim myself real bad but im working on it 💪💪#the source memories became so much less distressing when i finally figured out what my issue is. like “ohhh its just source stuff i see now”#finally accepting myself and learning to live with everything!! 🐬🌈✨🐬🌈✨#kinda funny bcs I Am the Core too. like hey guys im the original person born in this body. im also JD from heathers the musical.#which means i can make jokes abt how if i wasnt a system id be a JD kinnie singlet 💀 terrifying thought tbh i cant imagine not being a sys#like what would i even do as a singlet. i would just be One Guy. what would i even do. i straight up cant even imagine that#cause even before i knew i was a system weird shit kept happening. like blacking out n when i come back my friends call me hawkstar now.#or like blinking and 4 days had passed and i couldnt tell u a single thing that happened in that time#the amnesia was badddd shoutout to system acceptance and knowledge being more available online bcs imagine if i never knew why this happened#imagine if i never figured out what a system was or found ways to communicate with my system or broke down amnesia barriers. .(shudders)#thats like. the evil timeline. where i never figure out wtf is happening to me#UGH I HAVE TO GO TO WORK NOW AND SEE MY SHITTY COWORKER that fucking SUCKS
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Sasuke is Out! Sasuke is Doing things! What will Sasuke do?! I have no idea!!! I've never gotten this far in the story before, so I have no idea how things are going from here!!!! But Sasuke is Loose!!!!!!
Quoting this post to myself as I see Sasuke walking around and doing things. I haven't seen this guy do anything in like a hundred episodes. It's so exciting
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#it's so sweet seeing Suigetsu and Jugo trying to find Sasuke again#meanwhile Karin is under lock and key. yet shes playing with their expectations to her advantage#her pretending to be just the stupid sasuke obsessed girl to make them not pay attention to her#to let her keep the picture that actually contains some fucking lockpicks. crafty af#and her GLASSES??? the arm of her glasses is hiding a little secret knife?!?!! thats so cool karin wtf#i love when shes shown to be capable like this. like her sasuke fangirling was real. before.#but idk about now after he tried to kill her. he does Not deserve to keep her affections after that for Sure.#but shes still using the act. making people underestimate her. so crafty. like fuck yeah you go you funky little outlaw#i do love that shes genuinely a bitch. i hated her when i was younger bc i hated sasuke#and the fangirling still does annoy me. but shes also more than the fangirling.#shes so COOL when shes not obsessing over sasuke. i wanna see more of her!!!!!#unfortunately now i have to go back to this shit ass kage fight. really boring to me. now that sasuke's out i dont caaaaaare#it's just a bunch of OP ninja throwing rocks and shit at each other. madara literally dropped Two giant fucking meteors on the battlefield#like it was just one and it was a huge deal but tsuchikage and gaara stopped it. yay!!#but then it was such a Gradeschooler One Upping You moment where madara was like. Heh. well actually. theres Two.#and the 2nd one falls on the first and kills a bunch of people etc etc like come onnnn this isnt even fun anymore#we're just committing massive ecological damage all around#also killer bee literally PURPOSEFULLY clearing a massive section of forest for the sake of visibility#NONE of these ninja care about the environment!!!!! those poor trees and creatures!!!!!!#anytime theres some kind of poison something and they show it off by having birds or whatever die like#STOP!!!! youre killing the environment!!!!! stop it!!!!!!!!!#anyways what a show. the more ridiculously massive the fight gets the less fun it is to watch.#why should i care about guys throwing boulders at each other. Boringggg show me some people punching the shit outta each other.#THE TAIJUTSU!!!! WHERES THE TAIJUTSU!!!!! STOP WITH UR OP NINJA MAGIC SHOW ME TAIJUTSU!!!!!!!!#i also really want to see itachi. where is he. sasuke's loose now i know he teams up with itachi Where Is He....#LETS GET SOME UCHIHA UP IN THIS BITCH!!!! madara get ur pasty ass out of here and tobi stick your head in a toilet#only the uchiha BROTHERS here get those old guys OUTTA HEREEEEEEE#anywyas i actually folded some laundry while watching. wild. having fun rn
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deathstar shippers stop going out of ur way to tell me you hate dominator being a lesbian and that you’re homophobic asf challenge (impossible, apparently)
#(cw: put under a read more for homophobia & transphobia 😬)#LITERALLY went ''lemme say the quiet part out loud'' BRO THIS IS LIKE THE 6TH(????) TIME I'VE HAD SUCH AN ENCOUNTER#except i will say that this is the first time it wasn't unprovoked. i did @ them first to ask why they were leaving replies on my posts-#-saying hater's crush on dominator is creepy bc they 'look like they have an age gap' meanwhile they've liked AND MADE#-comments elsewhere shipping her with men that are way WAY older than her and sometimes visibly so like. hater and her are the same agegroup#so i was like. what is going on here huh??? ANFD THEN THEY JUST SAY THIS SHIT why am i ever surprised anymore lmao#shout out to this person for adding transphobia to their shittiness for Spice ig /s 🙄 eugh...#i should've seen it coming bc they were referencing a page on the woy wiki THAT USES STEVENSON'S CORRECT NAME & PRONOUNDS#AND YET THEY WERE ADAMANT ON USING HIS DEADNAME AND SHE/HER PRONOUNS LIKE.. I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS but still 🤢#i dont ever wanna stop giving ppl the benefit of the doubt but oh my god do These people test me. every time. goes like this Every Single T-#on god only like twice or smthn have i seen [REDACTED] shippers be like.. very decent to me and literally just ignorant#and they were from here and i just ask them to not interact bc it makes me uncomfortable and they're like i dont get it but ofc#and i never see them again#AND THEN EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO IS INTO THIS SHIT I HAVE *EVER* COME ACROSS#FUCKING JUST... JUMPS INTO MY MENTIONS OUT OF NOWHERE. LITERALLY I DONT EVEN?? DO ANYTHING I DONT GO NEAR THEM BRO#THEY FUCKING SNIFF ME OUT OR SOME SHIT FOR HAVING A DNI ON OTHER SITES AND GO#''OH SO YOU THINK I'M WRONG FOR HAVING TO REIMAGINE GAY/LESBIAN CHARACTERS AS STRAIGHT SO I CAN ENJOY THEM?'' LIKE- WTF? YES? IT IS#also i kid you not this is an actual thing someone has gone out of their way to look me up and yell at me over for like an hour straiught#on twitter. it was unhinged. like they were convinced straight ppl are oppressed any time gay characters exist#bc gay characters existing makes them unlikable and unrelatable and unconsumable to straights like damn ok if u feel that way die abt it?#it's just so unhinged like bruh GO AWAY LMAO??? SHUT UP! I DONT CARE LITERALLY JUST KEEP UR FREAK BIGOT SHIT TO URSELF GET OUT#again that specifically doesn't apply to this person who technically WAS @ by me first bc i was like.. hey... hey what's going on here HUH#but oh my god they turn out to be vocally homophobic every single time. i was always hoping i was like...#over generalizing these people as being fucking homophobic just bc 1) the vibes r always like that 2) it's faster to say#BUT OH MY GOD THEY REALLY ARE HOMOPHOBIC AS A WHOLE WHAT THE FUCK I LITERALLY ALWAYS WENT OUT OF THE WAY TO BE LIKE aint no way ahah BUT NO?#BRO???? GET OUT OF HERE THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR YOU Y'ALL ARE CREEPS#THEY FEEL SO EMBOLDED TO SAY THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT PROMPTING. I ALWAYS MAKE FUCKING SURE TO NOT ACCUSE BIGOTRY#AT MOST I'LL JUST BE LIKE yeah so straightwashing is a thing that's homophobic so don't do that IF ANYTHING. I NEVER CALL THE PERSON THAT#AND EVERY TIMEEEE THEY JUST GO MASK OFF WITH ''BTW I DONT LIKE THE GAYS'' I OEIUFKGEJRHGUKJDFS EVERY TIME EVERY TIME WTFFFFF#usually being right about things is epic. not this THIS IS JUST.. GWORLS WHAT HE FUCK
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“i’m not the bad guy you think i am”
“i got a boat that can get us off the island… we gotta get out of here, it’s better if we work together”
“they’re going to find john b and your sister” “sucks for them, that’s good for us tho”
“i told you we just had to work together”
“i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”
“i know your friends and my sister are on the island, i’m not helping them, i can’t trust them okay… i’ll give you a ride out but not them”
“i mean i always liked you kie, you’re at least half kook”
+
“i just lose control in moments like that, i’m trying to get better” kiara nodding along and her small “okay” as he explains himself
and her “oh god” and teary eyes when he starts slapping himself
HOW is this canon we were fed a full course meal 😭
okay anon you did it-- this delicious assortment of canon dialogue is the straw that broke the camel's back bc now i've got a new fic in the works directly based off of the line “i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”
or, the one where sarah was right and ward/rafe are the ones after them and rafe accidentally kidnaps kiara instead of sarah and uses her as extortion >:)
#and also the “im not the bad guy you think i am” line..... did i not have that in chap 3 of bad habit??#bc i remember writing something like that bc of the darkling and felt rafe was angsty enough to say some shit like that#feeling so happy with canon rn#living life loving life <3#anyway for the new fic (no ETA at all rn) it'd be kiara being taken back to Guadeloupe#and forced proximity (the greatest trope ever imo) where she's trying to get away but there's literally no way to and rafe is all#"???? wtf are u tryin to do ur safe here???#and kiara is very much Not for that and is always like “they're gonna come for me”#and he's an absolute dick and is very much “hm sure how sweet”#ANYWAY#it'd be a morally grey kiara which i'm gonna need to roll up my sleeves to do but the way i'm seeing it its totally possible#absolute carnage of them getting involved in some dark ass underbelly of illegal markets for the cross#i need to figure out how long it's gonna be first and work with that#reluctant allies ultimately#enemies with benefits#asks#riara
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@demonsfate asked- FUSION ! it’s fusion time again y’all
wonder if he'd be a rowdy boy
#//i don't have a name for him bc FUCK i can't think of one atm#//he takes mostly after jin body type wise? but he's a lot more leaner bc of lambda#//he's got a shit ton of scars too bc those also come from lambda and i thought it was a cool idea#//and that's more like injuries he'd have that show up as scars on this dude#//went and swiped the lightning pattern from a piece of tek 4 bc i thought those were cool#//gave him nail polish too bc why not?#//and oh yeah one more thing! he's also stuck with devil gene nonsense but! there's a catch#//there is no devil 'insert name here'. its still DJ taking the wheel when it comes to devil transformations or whatnot#//he'd probably jump at the chance to make him miserable since hey! two people in one now! make them suffer!#//either that or he'd be disgusted bc what the fuck? its only supposed to be me and jin wtf are you doing here???#//idk fbhnjghdgj#why are you botherin’ me? {answered memes}#mocha's art#demonsfate
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part of why im choosing to post that vent/rant btw is just in case anyone following me is neutral or pro fictional CP. GYEEEET OUTTA HEREEE
#i've got it in my pinned post but i like to remind ppl like once every few months just in case fsjkl#i do NOT want ppl who think fictional CP is okay following me#do not come anywhere near me man. let me be clear: i hate you with a seething passion. you are abhorrent if u are okay w that shit.#i have too much hurt caused by CSA both in my own life and with good friends to ever put up with that#I WON'T BE TALKIN ABOUT THIS AGAIN PROBABLY DW i just had to yell abt it for a minute but im good now#i know its an upsetting topic to think abt bc wtf is wrong w people for real lmao. but i just had to yell for a minute
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screaming in the club
time for another vent in tags
#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO#i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe#n one of them said they never saw it i said “but you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdym” and their fiance was just rude to me and i th#ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a#utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai#ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell#like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc#then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no#food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it#harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats#fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY#SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf#the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther#es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the#bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and#no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh#it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression#i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point#i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT#everything has gone to shit#vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.
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i just want a house. that fucking lets me have my dog in it. renting it out to myself and like. two other people. that won't fucking. kick me after a years lease. like. wtf. WTF. can't have shit in this goddamn rental market jesus fucking christ.
#a single goddamn room goes for 300 in this fucking town & they won't let you have dogs either.#like. moved house bc my father needed my room.#ok. fine.#had to leave my dog behind bc new place couldn't let me have him.#yeah. sure. ok.#just feeling salty and sad bc some shit when down with the dog bc of my father and I wasn't there to mitigate it#and now my sister and her husband wont come to my mum's house with their baby bc they don't trust the dog to be kept away#and i feel guilty bc it's my dog and i wasn't there but also pissy because dad fucking fucked up again and it's not my fault#but now my mum's hurt and and i'm like. wtf can I do about this? ya know?#I don't have the job to be able to pay 1000 a week in rent. and the rental situtation is insane. no houses for rent. none. there are 11. 11#in this whole goddamn town! and like! what the fuck am i supposed to do about it?#dog can't be around other dogs. dog is big. fuck fuck fuck#and i can't RANT to anyone about it ahghhhj#I don't know what the FUCK to DO about it#i love my dog and i don't want to give him up. but i'm geniunely afraid that it might get to that point fuck.#i speak!
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...
#so i have bad news tht im too sad to share rn.#🥹 it'll be ok... just... aaaa....#man am i rly hurt and then it gets worse bc my mom has no respect for me as a person#she comes over unannounced and yells performatively w/ windows rolled down#acting like she cares when she doesn't give 2 shits once eyes aren't on ber#ty for reading sorry it wasn't very happy#my chest hurts#kinda just sitting here don't know what to do#mom came over trying to shove some food in my face (that comes with an unspoken catch where she gets to abuse me and justify it#bc 'look how much i do for you!!!')#i rejected it and she kept asking invasive questions#like whos driving me amd and what my weekly schedule is and will be for the next few months#she asked if i was hanging with xyz probs so she could go drive around their house/stake it out 🙄#in hopes of seeing me and pulling some fucked up humiliating stunt#she kept telling me tht her withholding my legal documents and mail from me is justified???#like wtf stop trying to take away my agency i am a fully competent grown ass person#and i dont welcome her manipulation disguised as help. i hate it dude#ty guys for all the helpfulness and kindness#ty guys for not taking advantage of a desperate situation#i acknowledge the selfless sacrifice and it means so much#truly just wanting to help#no other motives...#i wish it was like that irl#i told her what she's doing is illegal and she can literally tell it to authorities#dENY ME MY RIGHTS AGAIN 🤬 GRRRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRG BARK BARK BARK BEGONE!!!!
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Every time my mum throws yet another hissy fit although I can understand she’s being stupid and I let her yap to her hearts content cause she can never quit complaining, for some reason I’m so mildly bothered that the irritation makes me angry at every other thing.
For example : the fact that so and so hasn’t responded in 51 years, fifty more people haven’t even given so much as a single darn to ask why I haven’t replied yet or use those two brain cells of theirs currently fighting for third place to realise huh, maybe she’s going through a hard time ! Maybe you know like a decent fucking human being I could leave her a little note saying she can answer whenever she feels fit enough to do so but that I care for her, and the fact that I am irate by how care and compassion is offered on a silver platter to so many yet for me I have to beg and do the most absurd and pathetic displays to achieve even the slightest speck of kindness, and if I DONT do all of that in the one in a trillion possibility of me receiving kindness for free it makes me so disgusted and afraid because why the fuck would you do that, in fact why the fuck would anyone even do that even if I gave them my whole heart and soul anyways. All I am is less than dirt by way of reason given how I have been treated, and although I’m unsure as to why I am and that I can never fully understand the reason for why I’m not worth a single thing, and why I am worthless, i understand that that’s how the world works and I ought to adapt to my role and take it because nobody will stop for me
#‘u guys have seen how fast life can be taken from you’ well I hope it comes faster bc I have been praying for the end to come#for years yet nothing#I have not only been let down by this world#but I have been let down by God so many times it’s genuinely baffling#why can’t He just kill me already#I don’t even care anymore about the method#I don’t even care if it’s the most excruciatingly painful thing#if I get ripped in half or have my organs harvested or tortured for however many days#I think I just need to go and i need to go NOW.#practically the only real consistent wish I’ve had in my life is that I am to be something important to others#someone irreplaceable#but I am not even noticed much less replaced#and how a girl could yap on about her insecurity abt her bangs and within an hour she gets heaps of comments#yet for me ? when I write odes to death every other Tuesday it’s whoopsie who gives a fuck about her I hope she dies#that’s precisely how it looks like to me#I think everyone does wish death upon me for the simple fact that nobody asks#nobody cares and nobody tries to help#actions speak louder than words and everyone’s actions are very clear to me#clearly someone throwing a pity party over themselves for fucking bangs is definitely a cause for concern yes yes ! worthy of twenty notes#within the span of a single hour 🥺🥺🥺 but of course I don’t deserve shit so that’s why nobody gaf 🙂↕️#dora daily#my only request is for all to be blunt and clear that I am worthless in their eyes.at least my mum reminds me often.why can’t yall do the#same. at least she is honest and not mincing her words. listen I can handle much more than anyone thinks I’m not as sensitive as everyone#makes me out to be. so freaking tell me how horrible I am tell me that I am a chore to speak to that I am a burden and weigh u all down#and that I am some infinitely unimaginable list of negative attributes and that’s all I’ll ever amount to because I would send my dearest#thanks for you being so brave and saying it to my face. rather than being a coward and a fool for hiding behind flowery words and meaningles#nothings uttered just for filler. newsflash I can read intents and in between the lines well but I am not a mind reader nor does anything#imply that I can read minds. yes I can discern intents and the smallest signals but I CANNOT read minds#why you won’t catch me hold hope that anything I make will get hype so I won’t post it on this platform and if I do I won’t tag it#and why do people always get fed up or think I’m lying or smth when I insist I’m sick like wtf. or they act like I’m lying by embodying the
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Conservatives love getting mad for the weirdest shit that they make up entirely on their own and adding it on the say anything website just adds the extra flavor. People complaining about unwalkable cities are not trying to take away your cars what the fuck is wrong with you.
#and like. idk the context bc this person definitely wouldnt give it if asked#but theyre saying liberals (aka anybody even slightly leaning left at all) are taking away their cars#so that everybody will be forced to walk#then saying that 'liberals' are saying its ableist to own a car#wtf do you have to be on to come up with this shit bc i cant decide if i want it or want to avoid it to avoid this dumbassery#god.#did you watch vivo? the girl that got onto a guy for not walking 2 minutes to a store?#i assure you! ms girl isnt the party you are talking about babes!#since they love to group us all together terfs are added to this btw#that post about terf shit yeah ive seen a girl (who literally named her account something like 'the poor little lady' or something)#literally say that shes tired of being called a uterus haver#and asked of which person called her this (by a trans man) she replied that he must kill himself before god does. then blocked him.#yeah.
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