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blue-slxt · 1 year ago

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FWB

*Request: maybe some idea for u : feisty humain!reader having mood swings w her best friend (Loak or Neteyam) because she is in her ovulating week and he teases her until making her tell him why she is acting weird like that today. then he asks her to explain the "symptoms" and she says that she want to fuck more and that she’s more attracted to people during this time and he asks if it’s applied to him too & u already know the end of it🤭🤭 hope u can take something from it, xo 😘*

Okay, so this is my first human!reader fic so go easy on me 😅 I might redo this one in the future with Neteyam because I’m curious about how much different it would turn out if I wrote for him instead. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one 🤗 All characters are aged up.

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

Smut under the cut.

Pandora was beautiful. Even though you had to admire its beauty through the shield of your mask, it still left you breathless every day. Looking out at the bioluminescent flora and fauna every night through your bedroom window was unlike anything you had ever seen on Earth. You wanted to be out in it every day. But today you were hit with a painful reminder that you were human.

You jumped out of your sleep drenched in sweat. What were you dreaming about? You couldn’t fully remember. The memory came in flashes and blurs. Moans, smacks, and heat is all you’re able to really make out before you lose the visual. You suck in a sharp breath feeling a dull ache in your breasts. You cautiously press on one trying to figure out what was causing the pain. You find nothing and brush it off as a consequence of sleeping on your stomach. When you make your way to your bathroom to get ready for the day, you strip off your sleep clothes and notice a giant wet spot on your panties. That’s weird. And then it hits you. You check your app on your phone and realize what week it is. You’re ovulating. You roll your eyes and make a mental note to plug in your toys before you leave your room.

After a shower and brushing your teeth, you go join everyone for breakfast. While you’re fixing your coffee, a familiar voice enters the lab. Everybody greets Lo’ak as he walks through the cafeteria over to you. “Hey, I found this awesome lake with a cliff that’s perfect for diving. We’ve gotta check it out!” he’s oozing enthusiasm and excitement and it’s adorable. All of a sudden, it feels like there’s a throbbing between your legs.

“Sounds cool, Lo’ak. Maybe another day though.” You say about to walk away, but he blocks your path.

“Are you kidding me? I’ve already been waiting for like 2 days because of training. We’ve gotta go now.” “I’m not in the mood Lo’ak.” Your irritation is growing. You loved Lo’ak. He was your absolute best friend, but he was persistent. And while that could be endearing in certain circumstances, it could also be kind of a nuisance. Right now, you really just needed to get back to your room and take care of your little problem.

“What’s up with you today? I thought you’d be dying to go.” He’s starting to get a little concerned looking at your face. “Your face is getting red.”

You can’t handle the way he’s looking at you right now, “Nothing is ‘up’ with me Lo’ak so will you drop it please?” you push past him and continue down the hall to your room.

Lo’ak follows right behind you though. “I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me what’s wrong.” You roll your eyes as he follows you into your room. “What? Somebody eat the last of your snacks or something?”

You huff out a big sigh and set your coffee on your desk. “If you really must know, I’m ovulating.”

His face screws in confusion. “Okay…What does that mean? Is that a human thing?”

Right. You and Lo’ak are so close that sometimes you forget he is actually an alien. “How do I explain it….it’s like when a na’vi woman goes into heat, but for humans we also can get bloated and moody and crampy and a whole bunch of other stuff. You follow?” you do your best to try and explain to him and his eyes jump around while he’s trying to make the connections in his mind. ”So you’re in a bad mood because you’re in heat?” he does his best to try and make sense of your situation.

“Basically, yeah.”

“So how do you make it better?” he crosses his legs making himself comfortable on your bed like he often did.

“There’s not really a way to make it better. I kind of have to just ride it out. Unless, I got pregnant, but it’s not like that’s gonna be happening anytime soon. But I’m irritated because I’m insanely horny and I can’t really get any relief.” You brush your hair to the side with your fingers trying to soothe yourself and Lo’ak watches your hair brush over your neck and expose your shoulders.

“Well, what if I helped you out?” he asks casually.

Your body freezes in place. “Lo’ak I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“That’s why you’re not asking, I’m offering. I mean what kind of friend would I be if I knew I could help you out and I did nothing?” Lo’ak had always kind of had a thing for you. You were his closest friend and he found a comforting familiarity in you that he didn’t feel with other na’vi thanks to his slightly more human traits.

You think about his offer for a split second before snapping back to your senses. “How would that even work? I think you forget that you’re like 8 feet tall. You would quite literally split me in half.”

He chuckles knowing that you’re not wrong. “Just lay down and let me handle it.”

You’re skeptical. “What are you going to do?”

“Just lay down. You trust me, right?” You slowly make your way over to your bed next to him. “Yeah…”

“Okay then. So don’t be so uptight.” You lay back and let your eyes scan the ceiling of your room. Your breathing gets faster when you feel Lo’ak hook his fingers in the waist band of your shorts and panties and slide them down your legs. You close your eyes trying not to focus on the fact that your best friend was now staring down your exposed cunt.

This is crossing so many lines, but your mood would only get worse if you were to stop now. Work yourself up just to rip away your chance at real relief? You weren’t in the mood for edging today. There was no turning back now.

Meanwhile Lo’ak is wide-eyed as he stares at your body. He’d never tell you this, but he had imagined you exactly like this countless times. When he’d come to see you and you’d be dressed in barely-there comfy clothes, when you’d bend over to pick something up, when the front of your shirt would fall a little lower than it should and he would catch a peek at your cleavage. The restraint he had to hold on to was legendary. And now here he was licking his lips greedily as he almost gets stuck just staring at your form that squirmed with anticipation and nerves.

He lowers his head between your thighs and carefully swipes his tongue against your throbbing clit. Your whole body jolts from the feeling and a small moan escapes. Lo’ak’s ears flick in your direction and he’s now painfully aware of how hard he is right now. He continues lapping at your soaked entrance closing his eyes to savor the sweet taste on his tongue. He groans against your heat and the vibrations make your hips grind against his face. “Mmf…Fuck…Lo’ak!” your voice comes out in a breathy whine.

One of his fingers teases at your entrance before he slowly slides it inside of you. His finger is huge stretching you deliciously. You look down at his face and he’s already watching you. The eye contact makes you lose it. “Yes! Yes Lo’ak! Right there! Oh, fuck you’re gonna make me cum right there!”

“Shit, so fucking tight. Cum for me.” He says between sucking on your clit. It’s too much. The way his finger curls up to press against the spongey part inside your walls and the sound of him French kissing your cunt sends you over the edge. Your body shakes violently and your walls squeeze around his finger. Your head falls back while you reach your peak and subsequently come down.

Lo’ak reluctantly pulls his mouth off of you and pulls his finger out of you and watches your chest rise and fall rapidly while you regain your composure. He tries to position himself so that he can hide his bulge not wanting to let on just how badly he wanted to fuck you dumb right now.

“Feel better?”

You lazily nod your head at him.

“Good. So can we go diving now?” he tries to lighten the mood before any kind of conversation can follow what just happens. You’re not really ready to talk about it yet either.

“Alright, let’s go.”

He jumps up in excitement and you get dressed and find your mask.

“Thanks, Lo’ak.” Even if you weren’t really ready to talk about it yet, you still felt like you should at least thank him.

“Trust me, it was my pleasure.” He shoots you a playful wink before walking off.

#avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar fic #awow #avatar smut #atwow loak #loak sully #loak x reader #lo'ak #loak fic #loak imagine #avatar loak #loak smut #awow smut

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wordsandrobots · 3 months ago

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Wishing on Space Hardware: Trivia and the cutting room floor

Having finished the single longest writing project I've ever done, I find myself with a number of bits and pieces left over.

To be fair, I also invite you to contribute to the pile by letting me know if there are any extra scenes you'd like to see based on my truly excessive amount of Iron-Blooded Orphans fanfic. The ask box is open for that and anything else you'd like to prompt me to write about.

However, there remains a bunch of stuff that never made it into the final story and a lot of little details I feel are worth commenting on. So as I luxuriate in not having to spend the week editing chapters any more, I thought I'd share a couple of quick lists regarding the process and what got cut out of it. For posterity, at least.

Spoilers for the fics, obviously, and since they're post-canon, spoilers for IBO as well (go watch it if you have not, it is very, very good, hence the 656,000 words I wrote as a direct consequence [not counting the essays. Jeepers, I'll have to tot it all up some day and get the grand total).

Ahem. Anyway. Trivia!

First up, I must publicly credit penitence_road (on Tumblr as @stillness-in-green)’s excellent IBO fics for inspiring one of the major threads in WoSH (I've mentioned this in author notes but the debt cannot be overstated). The phrase 'Almiria's Adolescent Apocalypse' lodged in my brain and became a mission statement. I did try to steer in a completely different direction regarding the specifics (hence why Todo is very much not a part of the core gang), but the main thrust was all about taking that description and seeing how I could flesh it out. (Go read these fics, my goodness.)

Second, there are, of course, mythology gags referencing the wider Gundam franchise sprinkled liberally throughout. Some I've already called out in author notes, but I believe managed to reference Gundam 79, Zeta Gundam, Gundam ZZ, Char's Counterattack, Gundam Wing, Turn A Gundam, Gundam SEED, Gundam 00, and Reconguista in G in more or less explicit ways. See if you can spot them all!

I named Skoll and Hati with specific reference to their roles in the Poetic Eda. That is, I thought of them as 'the moon-hunter Gundam' and 'the sun-killed Schwalbe', respectively, in reference to their rolls harassing the Arianrhod Fleet (formally the Outer Lunar Orbit Joint Fleet) and destroying the Ahab reactor factory. But also they reflect their pilots' temperaments, with Skoll 'the mocker' being flown by Embi and Hati 'the hater' by Lin.

Spaceships Baldr and the Váli were named in a similar fashion, for their connections to Ragnarök (Váli is Vidar's brother, another of the gods who survive the final battle), and I chose to describe the finale as 'Ragnarök' in the first place because in the sagas, it represents a renewal of the world, rather than a complete end. Quite apart from the Norse influence on Gjallarhorn's whole deal, the cyclical nature dovetailed nicely with what I was trying to do with the story.

I had a very near miss with Skoll in that I wrote it as being based on ASW-G-15 Eligos, named after a demon that took the form of a handsome knight who can see the future. Some months later, the IBO-G app would reveal ASW-G-16 Zepar, the very next Gundam in the sequence, whose namesake's appearance as a red-garbed soldier seems to have been muddled with Eligos in some of the sources I checked. I am really quite relieved I didn't have to rework anything there, but it was close!

Visually, the deconstructed Char-clone that is Almiria's gang channel aspects of other iterations of the trope, with Asher obviously replicating Montag, Embi settling vaguely in the region of Quattro (that is, a more civilian-mode masked man), and Almira assaying McGillis in a way that probably lands not a millions miles from Rau. But I was primarily thinking of Relena's Sanc Kingdom outfit for her, so the 'general's' coat is a lot fancier.

The media-savvy ally to Victor Handa in Revolution for Beginners... is the same cameraman who filmed Kudelia's pivotal broadcast at the conclusion of Season 1's Dort arc. Those events seemed like they would have consequences for the journalists involved and in Hajime's case, that involved being swayed fully over to the workers' movement.

I invented Alessio as a character to counter-balance Iverson and ensure I had some non-villainous non-binary rep. That I picked the stoutest background character model I could find was not unrelated to this, though it's also an *interesting* model, especially coupled to the ones around him/them in the big group shot.

Doc Chaifin, meanwhile, just sort of happened. Sometimes characters do that.

I wrote a significant chunk of the sex scene (well, post-sex scene) in To Catch a Falling Star while sitting in a car park, waiting for my partner to come back from an appointment. This was mainly because the fic was absolutely consuming my brain and I'd discovered the joys of using a mobile phone to write notes (I put off getting a smart phone for a long, long time).

With respect to the Calamity War recording segments of Eugene Sevenstark and the Hesperus Treasure, my working head-canon is that Agnika Kaieru had a science/engineering background. Or, well, I think he moved in a social circle full of scientists and engineers before getting started on the war effort. I also have this notion that his parents at least were part of the corporate class, distinct from the aristocratic class from which people like the Bauduins and Fareeds emerged. But I never sat down to work it all out in full, as that wasn't required for the story.

Regarding Hesperus, I kind of fudged a lot to get the story to work. I'd sort of assumed Radonitsa Colony was a post-War construct rather than something pre-existing, which isn't really supported by the Urdr Hunt game. So the idea of it being a composite of different space platforms bolted around a space elevator terminal is perhaps a bit of a stretch. I still like it though, the basic concept of doing archaeology on space stations.

There's a lot of stuff I did in the moment, to get an individual fic to work, that I was later able to basically repurpose as long-term plot-points. I didn't actually intend for the 'There are three things you need to know to understand what comes next' bit to set up the salvager ship in the finale, or the pluma in Let Sleeping Angels Lie to set-up for what the McGillis faction would do with the leftovers of Season 2's events. But having those things set up gave me some wonderful 'ah ha' moments as I marshalled the overall plot. If nothing else, I got quite a rush out of realising both Gaelio's weaponised wheelchair and the beach house's lethal defences were there to use.

...try not to think too hard about how excited I got figuring out a convoluted assassination method. I'm certainly going to try not to.

The plot really kicked into gear for me with The Ares Affair. Up to then, I'd been coasting on character interactions and fix-its. But then all the consequences suddenly coalesced in my brain and I went, 'oh, this is what we're doing, is it?'

In addition to the playlists I've already put up, grown-up!Almiria's theme is Bach's Polonaise in G Minor on the harpsichord because it is *precisely* what you'd get if you pitched Rustal Elion's theme higher and more playful.

I still have no proper explanation for why A New England stuck in my head so hard when I was writing th first few fics. But I'm glad it did because it gave me a killer series title, if I do say so myself.

I tried extremely hard to make sure everyone in the anime cast got some kind of moment in the spotlight or at least a mention. Think I did a pretty good job on that front, overall.

And to wrap up on that point, yes, the narrator who occasionally addresses you directly is a character from the show. I'd be terribly interested to hear if any of you've worked out who. (It might not be strictly guessable, since there isn't anything gesturing at it per se; I just imagined it being their voice and it kind of fits, thematically.)

Now let's open the door to the cutting room!

The big one is that when I originally planned out the plot of Revolution for Beginners and Polyamory for Dumbasses, a key part of the uprising in the Dort Colonies was going to be the hackers allied with Ride knocking out the nearby Ariadne beacons in order to blind Earth to what was happening. Gjallarhorn would then have analysed the computer virus they used, and that would have been the basis for them messing about with the Network in the final stretch of fics. In the end, there simply wasn't enough room to fit any more threads into that fic and the more I thought it over, the more I decided this would be weighting the balance of power wrong. It'd be too much of a flat-out win for the colonists. Joshua's appearance on Ariadne One -- which had been intended to set things up for the beacon-hacking -- remained, just recontextualised as a clue to who was responsible for the attack in Frozen Sunlight, and a small bit of character development for this OC. I repurposed the remainder of this plot as a way to tie Ride's arc into Almiria's (she taps him for the hacking resources as a result of them messing with Ariadne One's sensors instead) and made 'Höðr' an entirely Gjallarhorn project.

The delay to the release of the Urdr Hunt mobile game drastically changed the opening to arc 4 and had knock-on effects for how the grand finale worked. Because I thought I'd have more to work with in terms of plot and characters of the game when it came time to do the writing, I'd assumed I'd be able to work in appearances from Urdr Hunt's cast. I'd planned a much bigger pay off to the idea of Radonitsa Colony's tourist board trying to get the Martain Chairperson to visit, which was that Atra and Akatsuki would have gone alone with Eugene and Sri. The whole 'let's pretend we're here to assess the facilities on behalf of the Martian government' would have been more than a passing joke and instead been a full-on cover story, with Wistario and the his friends scrambling to put on a good show. This would, I admit, mainly have existed to set up a rather dumb gag whereby Sri and Akatsuki would have been the only ones not distracted by Nanao Narolina's everything in a room full of straight male or bisexual adults. But with the delayed release of the game, I needed a drastic rethink, hence bringing in Zaza and having the whole adventure take place with the Urdr Hunt characters off-screen (I even made it vague as to whether they were the ones running the colony, just in case I needed to swing it as someone else taking over following a tragic or failed ending). Ultimately I am very happy this happened, since I didn't especially gel with the protagonists of the game and it gave me greater opportunity to play with my beloved manga cast. But it did mean my idea of having both spin-off heroes come to the rescue at a dramatic juncture never materialised.

This proved to be single biggest alteration to my plotting for the final arc, too. Initially, the escape from Earth was going to be a lot more dramatic. For one thing, I was planning for the whole 'Yamagi gets left behind' element to happen in orbit, with Shino and Eugene actually present. Some sort of ship to ship transfer going wrong, people going adrift in space, that kind of thing. For another, I had the idea of bringing both Gundams Astaroth and Hajiroboshi into play, for a proper 'fight our way through the blockade' moment. Wistario was going to swoop to the rescue as the shuttle broke atmosphere, there'd be pursuit, and I'd wreck as many cop cars Grazes as I could get away with in some protracted chase sequence before we got to the big NOOOO moment. Yeah. But obviously without knowing Wistario's real personality or situation post-game, I didn't have enough material to work with and plans changed. For the better, I think, given the characters moments it allowed me to have and given that Wiz's character is one of my least favourite parts of IBO's extended media. But yeah. I was aiming for a proper team-up, the kind where you could have different people's theme music kicking in as they swooped into view, and it was not to be.

History of a Catastrophe. Oh boy. As I noted at the time, this one got away from me a lot in terms of length. I ended up cutting three complete scenes in an effort to contain the sprawl. The first to go was one focused on Ville Klaassen, (main?) villain of the Moon Steel manga, who I'd already had cameo in Of Obsessions and Erotemes. I wanted to gesture more towards a conclusion for the manga's story, extending from what I'd laid down previously, but ultimately that was too low a priority to justify adding to the word count, so out it went. Given the alternating structure of this fic (it switches between what is broadly 'Julieta's strand' and 'Almiria's strand), that meant cutting a later scene as well and I opted to ditch a brief cutaway to Embi, mainly because it just repeated stuff I'd already establish in A Handful of Rusted Petals. And possibly because of this cut, or because I'd just mucked up the ordering at some point, I also had to get rid of a scene between two of Gjallarhorn's high command that, while cute from an office politics point of view, didn't really contribute much else.

Actually, since these are all quite short, I might as well put them in here so you can see what you weren't missing!

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P.D. 327 – In the middle of entirely unrelated events; Gjallarhorn branch office, Prague

“I'm sorry, is this a bad time?”

Ville Klaassen pushes his briefcase and hat across the desk, out of sight of the terminal screen. “Not at all. I'm just in the middle of preparing for a business trip.”

The Police Bureau officer's eyebrow twitches. “Hopefully this shouldn't take up much of your time. I'm calling regarding two cases you worked on in the aftermath of the McGillis Fareed Incident.”

That explains the highly-secured channel, which demanded Ville confirm he was alone before it would establish an encrypted link. “Oh yes?”

“I'm specifically referring to events at Research Station AD-5, and the investigation into the Fareed Charitable School.”

“The Alaya-Vijnana research? Of course.” The murdered scientists, the destroyed data – evidence of a zealot's self-mutilation turned to so much ash and broken glass. “What of it?”

“This is your official notification that information on these cases has been deemed deleterious to the public good and will henceforth be restricted to category five clearance.”

Interesting. The research Ville can understand, but a school –? Oh, that's right. Those rumours concerning Lord Iznario's predilections. “I was only peripheral to the second investigation. I wouldn't even have been on the ground for the first, had internal affairs not been so short-handed.”

Clearly the exact details of the involvement are irrelevant. “Please sign the forms now being sent to your inbox to confirm you have received this notification. Since you only hold level four clearance, you are not permitted to discuss the indicated cases unless ordered to do so by a superior with level five clearance or above. I am additionally required to run a remote-access search on your Gjallarhorn-issue devices to purge any data pertaining to these cases.”

“Remote access?” Ville asks, a drop of sweat forming at the top of his spine and seeming to fall right the way down it. “Now?”

“The scan must be run as soon as is viable.” There is an overly-deliberate pause. “Do you object?”

Such a rookie error. Ville curses himself inwardly. “Naturally not.” He casts a glance at the pad on the other side of his desk, still displaying the surveillance feed from this morning. “Will you need to scan my personal devices as well?”

“I am not authorised to do so, since under level four clearance, you will not have been permitted to take personal copies of relevant information.”

“Forgive me, I merely wished to be certain.” Opening the security menu on the terminal, he checks his settings. Shouldn't be too much of a risk since he isn't amateur enough to conduct his outside dealings using work equipment. “Please go ahead.”

“Thank you,” says the officer once the progress bar has run its course. “No excisions required.”

“I try to keep things tidy.”

“Please sign the forms promptly. Good day.”

Doing as instructed, Ville wonders what will become of the staff and 'students' of the school. They must surely know plenty of juicy details that would be deleterious to Gjallarhorn's good name… on any other day, he'd consider stretching feelers in that direction, just to see what he might find…

The pad twitters. Fresh footage of two people on a street corner, a skinny blonde with a crutch beside a big, white-haired man, both huddled in cheap anoraks.

Ville snarls, grabbing his hat and dialling furiously. “Nanao,” he snaps as soon as the comm connects, “the Warren boy and his employer's pet thug are right outside the building! I cannot have them causing a scene here. Where the hell are you?”

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P.D. 327 – More than two years after Tekkadan's last battle; Chryse, Mars

First time Embi takes Fly-Away, he doesn't stop giggling for four hours.

He floats on a cloud of painlessness, the ghosts and memories lost somewhere way below him as the vapour swirls happily inside his head. His brother is dead. He's constantly surrounded by the people Elgar died for. And right now, he doesn't care. About any of it! It feels so good!

Crashing afterwards sucks. Not getting the shakes bad. It just stinks to be stuck with all the usual feelings. He has fucked-up nightmares about carrying Elgar through the desert, a dead weight clinging tight to his back. Barely gets through the day without starting a fight. Tries to punch Hirume for asking what's wrong.

The solution is obvious. Embi gets some more Fly-Away and the second time is even better.

So it becomes a pattern. Get the money to buy what he needs to make things a little less shit for a while. Burn through that. Rinse. Repeat.

Everyone keeps telling him he needs to find something to live for, right? He guesses this is it.

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P.D. 329 – Some time later; a private dining room at The Blue Horn, Vingolf

The Director General of the Inspection Bureau sniffs, as he is wont to do whenever he wishes to delay speaking. “Lord Iznario's death is being ruled misadventure. As… anticipated.”

The Regulatory Chief of Staff eyes him from across the table, fingernails digging ever so slightly into the white cloth laid between them. “Indeed it is.”

There is a heavy pause, the kind filled with common understandings that cannot be said aloud.

“You don't think…”

“I wouldn't know.” The Chief of Staff adjusts her forks. “That falls in your purview, not mine.”

“The Police Bureau is… not my bag either. Unless there's evidence of misdemeanour, the investigation is beyond our scope.”

“Is there? Evidence?”

The Director General fiddles with the cuffs of his tunic. “Seems the old man just muddled his tablets and didn't care about watching his diet.”

“The Seven Stars always thought they were above mere mortals.”

“Yes. Yes…”

Another, heavily pause.

“Convenient, at least,” concludes the Chief of Staff. “One less remnant of the old order, hanging around.”

The Director General coughs. “You know I'll be retiring in the new year? Lord – I mean, Commander Elion has some up-and-coming young fellow picked out to replace me.”

“I heard. Is he up to the job?”

“Mm. Probably. Didn't… get much say in the decision.”

“How democratic.”

“Hm.”

A waiter glides into the third silence, bowing obsequiously. “Madam, sir? Your entrées.”

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As I said, nothing especially mind-blowing. I also had a slightly different opening to the segment featuring the pluma, which I again cut for length, but that I rather liked, as a conceit.

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Can a machine remember?

It is possible for a machine to record. Pluma ASW-A-H-011_sub:27 can access data on its previous combat deployments at any time, to support its tactical algorithms. It can return the dimensions of the space freighter it disabled on its last activation, the topography of the desert it traversed during the battle before that, or images of the colossal detonation that led to it becoming buried for ERROR: UNABLE_TO_SYNC years.

But that is not remembering as you would understand it. Memory is imperfect, riddled with loss of clarity and skewed by emotional prejudice. A machine records raw, uncaring facts, free from conscious understanding of why they occur. Even if it performs tasks based on the patterns it detects, even if that performance resembles intelligence, it is most likely nothing more than a cascade of hollow logic, as insensible to wider context as a pebble dropping into the sea.

These, then, are the facts.

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On the subject of aborted starts, here is something I sketched for a putative 'Wistario segment' of the Arc 4 opening story, which as discussed never materialised:

Wisterio Afam is having a bad day. That is to say, he's not having a good day. In the grand scheme of things it probably doesn't count as truly terrible given that nothing is presently on fire and as far as he knows the colony isn't being attacked right this minute. He personally is being assailed from all sides but that largely seems to be on the scale of a cosmic joke whereby all his carefully laid plans are coming apart at the stitching.

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And finally, just because I thought it was clever at the time, a reprise segment from Love, Death and Cannoli that I again cut for length, but that would have repeated the echoing memory trick from To Catch a Falling Star chapter 11, with Yamagi recalling lines of dialogue with Shino that were (mostly) from my fics rather than the anime:

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Suns turn into black holes if they get too big and die. So it is with his feelings. Gravitationally crushing.

I don't want perfect. I want you.

What a dumb thing to say.

(There's something wrong with me.)

But isn't it better to be wrong together than apart?

Do you think if we're both worrying it's our fault, that's a sign of something?

At least there are similarities in how they're screwed up, for whatever comfort that is.

(You're here and you're – you're mine.)

And Yamagi will hold on with hands and teeth and everything he's got.

Jeez, you're so uptight sometimes.

He can be fierce too, if it's necessary.

(Of course I want to be out there with you.)

Right to the very end.

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I've a few more partial scenes in my planning document, but they're mostly things I reworked for the actual posted versions, rather than cutting entirely. Stuff like some of the flashbacks Shino has to his pre-Tekkadan days were originally in different places and the conversation between Yamagi and Ordsley wound up requiring a lot of changes as the story developed. I think that about covers all the major deviations from my original outline.

Oh, except for Gundam Paimon. I swear I meant to figure out what to do with that thing, eventually, but in the end it just remained hanging on the wall. Ah well.

#wishing on space hardware #fanfic #my fic #gundam #gundam ibo #gundam iron blooded orphans #g tekketsu #tekketsu no orphans #notes #writing #a peek at the process #there's probably a bunch more stuff I could have listed by this is all I can think of for the moment

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eruminx · 2 years ago

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would the adult trio still love you if you were a worm - crackpost

hisoka:

"hisoka, would you still love me if i was a worm?"

it would catch him off guard (which is very hard to do so good job)

he'd make that one face he does when he's confused

then he would just kinda look at you for a few seconds trying to process what you just said

and then he'd start laughing

"of course i would love you my dear. <3"

of course he would love you as long as you're a powerful worm is what he actually means LMAO

would also bring it up constantly after even though it's not funny anymore

illumi:

"illumi, would you still love me if i was a worm?"

what.

what?!??!

poor illumi he'd be so lost

he's pissy about it too simply because it makes no sense to him

or he'd think you were trying to distract him if he was doing something when you asked

"what? no. of course i wouldn't love you if you were a worm."

if you pretended to be sad he'd be even more confused

then he'd just walk away or go back to what he's doing because he's running out of patience

would never bring it up again and would get annoyed if you tried it again

chrollo:

"chrollo, would you still love me if i was a worm?"

as expected he'd be confused

like ?!? what did you just say

he would ask you to repeat yourself over and over until you do

then he would chuckle in amusement

because now he's curious and he's gonna ask you a bunch of questions

"what are the circumstances? would i be a worm too?"

it would turn into a whole discussion

might bring it up every once in a while to get a small laugh out of you

quick little thing i wrote in my phones note app cuz i thought it was a funny idea and i haven't uploaded in a while lolllll hope u enjoy

#adult trio #adult trio hcs #chrollo hcs #chrollo x reader #hisoka hc #hisoka x reader #hunter x hunter #hxh #illumi hcs #illumi x reader #anime hcs #crack post

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isadollie · 5 months ago

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So could I make a request for the matchup? Here's the info I wrote down;

-for fandom: haikyuu

-My name is Lorena (also not a native english speaker!), she/her, demisexual (no real preference of gender, i just like people but also quite a low/slow tolerancy for developing romantic feelings) no preference

-likes: being at home/alone, cooking and baking and drawing, scary uncomfortable movies

-dislikes: uggs, loud people

-in my free time i like to just listen to music and think about things or have a good cleaning session

-definitely on the grunge/alternative side, also alternating between masculine and feminine

-short and quite a small frame (at 156cm and 47kg but im trying to gain weight i swear), short dark brown shaggy hair which i dye dark red, brown eyes that do not work (i wear contacts)

-quiet and introverted, if i had to compare to a haikyuu character, in a kiyoko type of way. I find it easier to socialise with other introverts as well. Usually I keep my thoughts to myself unless im around close friends, I legit get silly with them, I like to be direct and honest and more of a listener. Mom friend of the group so I tend to be stern with my friends, lowkey a party pooper as im a hater at heart. That friend that does not like your boyfriend

-i dabble between infp/intp, who knows atp

-my dream present would be smth like a trinket that reminds them of me

-my love language would be quality time and acts of service

- taurus rahh 💪🫶

- a good deal are a bunch of mitski songs (abbey, thursday girl, cop car), red swan, francesca

Thanks so much, you're a peach!

— matchup —

if you'd want a matchup too, make sure to check out this! link

i match you with...

Iwaizumi Hajime!

★ i have a feeling Iwa would love alt aesthetics, personally i think he'd like alt music too-

★ being an amazing man he is, he'd definitely take things slow, he doesn't want to rush anything, his priority is to make you feel safe and comfortable around him

★ scary and uncomfortable movies you say? oh, when i tell you he's in love. he has a whole list of this kind of movies in his notes app, marking the ones you've already seen together. you also rate every movie you've watched, creating a whole tier list out of them lol

★ knowing that you find it hard to socialize, he wouldn't pressure you into doing so. however, if you two meet a whole bunch of his friends when hanging out, he'd check every minute if you feel comfortable enough around them. if you want to say something, he only listens to you and makes sure that others don't interrupt you when you talk

★ he loves to see you being mom of the friend group! it shows him how caring you can be towards the ones important to you, and that just makes him fall in love even more

★ he is soo acts of service guy, you can't change my mind about this i'm afraid. you hate to do this one particular house chore? call him. he'll do that. just like that

★ Iwa knows you don't like loud people, so whenever Oikawa acts a bit too annoying, he just has one more reason to scold him<3

hello, hope you liked it:) your second match was kenma! thanks for requesting<3

#anime #matchups #matchup #blue lock #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu matchup #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime #hq #hq sugawara #hq iwaizumi #haikyuu #match up #matchup haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu sugawara #hq kenma #kozume kenma

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smaller-comfort · 6 months ago

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⭐! Loser Takes All!

You know, I think if someone else had already written the filthy Aephorul/Resh'an tentacle smut I was craving back when I first finished the game, I might not have felt the need to write my own. I hadn't done any serious creative writing in years at that point, but the idea kept rolling around in my head and wouldn't go away. I wrote the first 2500 words of it in a draft tumblr post because typing anything in my notes app or google docs felt too real, and I had to trick my brain into thinking I wasn't actually writing anything in order to get any writing done.

It was always going to start with Aephorul's temper tantrum in the Archives, but at one point Aephorul's violence was going to take the sex in a much darker direction. That got scrapped pretty quickly, and instead there's that whole interlude where Aephorul is insistent on Resh'an's consent. I actually do think that's an important bit of characterization now, but I recognize that it might be a little immersion-breaking in some ways. And it's really in there because otherwise I was going to run up against a bunch of my own weirdly specific squicks around sex and violence. (Maybe I'll unpack that in an essay about content warnings at some point, idk. I'm not always sure where the lines are myself, honestly.)

I didn't end up cutting much from the final story- I think I deleted most of what I didn't use, unfortunately. (Fun fact, I had originally scrapped the sounding because I was getting self conscious about it; this was my first time writing...pretty much all of the kinks in there, actually. It's @kyoukhi's fault the sounding got written back in.)

You can see the tiny handful of bits I did cut here (nsfw-ish):

(This bit is actually in my notes on the tumblr post where I link to the story. Their stupid bickering is 99% of the appeal for me, honestly.)

“An eye for an eye, isn't it? You fucked my plans in two worlds. Now I get to fuck you."

It's too much. He breaks one hand free of Aephorul's grasp, so he can cover his face with it. “That sounded better in your head, didn't it.”

“...oh, shut up.”

----

His mouth is dry. He feels too hot, as if Aephorul's hand on his bare skin has lit a fever in him. It has been countless thousands of years since he has felt anything like this, and it is awful.

He knows that he can, actually, come from this- endless, merciless teasing- he's done it before. But it had taken weeks to get to that point, and he is not going to think about the stupid sexy games they used to play with each other before everything went to shit.

(I think this was actually the first bit of the sex that I wrote.)

"You're such. A. Hypocrite. Play by the rules until you can't be bothered, and then you agree so readily to whatever forfeit I want- it's almost like you enjoy this."

"Should I not?" He asks, drily. It takes quite a lot of self control to keep his voice even, while Aephorul's cock- or whatever it is- twitches. "Probably should have mentioned that at the start then- ah!"

---

(the gist of this bit is actually getting reused in Save Scum, but this is what it originally looked like):

“Do you remember-”

“No.” The word comes out in a sudden, vehement snarl.

Everything stops, which is agonizing in its own way. His feet touch the ground, and the bindings on his arms recede. Aephorul holds him in a carefully controlled collapse to the floor.

“No,” he repeats. His eyes are still sealed shut. “Not- not to this." He trails one hand down the nearest piece of flesh he can reach. "This is fine.”

“Is it?” Hands- tentacles, whatever- wrap around Resh'an's shoulders, massaging the aching muscles there.

“Yes,” slightly exasperated. “Just don't- don't bring up- the way things were. Don't ask me to remember.”

“Very well.” Aephorul's voice is flat and emotionless.

#nattering #my fic

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god-has-entered-my-body · 6 months ago

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📚 and 🍄 for MPIND Matty <3

-Belle ❤️❤️❤️

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

wait i have a whole google doc of headcannons for mpind can i just. share that wait i will it's my blog i do what i want

Ross is the main chef and cooks most of the time. He’s the only one who actually listened in food tech back in school and can make something other than pasta or frozen fast food. The guys and you have at least one dinner a week where you sit around the table and have a meal together, giggling at Matty’s grimace at his curry, endlessly complaining about the “chewy meat”, and insisting on cooking next time. No one actually lets him cook, ever, because you all know he’d burn it all down if he ever got a hold of an open flame.

George has his moments where he gets super carsick, which prompts everyone to inch away from his side of the car as he rolls down the window, hanging his head out to try and curb the urge to yosh everywhere. Surprisingly enough, it goes away when he gets pissed, too busy trying to fend off an even more drunk Matty to realize where he is, thus making Hann sigh in relief at his car being spared.

Everyone knows Matty hates hates hates wearing his glasses, and has a knack for smashing into different furniture when he doesn't, especially small nightstands and sofas. His legs are littered with blue and yellow bruises because of this, which is part of the reason he doesn't wear shorts often, opting for long jeans or skirts.

Hann loves his bumper stickers, and has a bunch of them littering his car (whose color George thinks is hideous, hating the matted red). His favorite is his Forrest Gump “shit happens” sticker, that movie being his go-to when he needs a good cry. Even if you try to hide it, the rest of you cry like babies whenever that last scene comes on, the room filled with sniffles and clinks of cocktail glasses being put down and quiet “for fucks sake”’s while everyone tries to compose themselves before someone puts the light on. It's an odd sight, Ross and George rubbing their eyes and wiping their face, giggling at the others reaction like they weren't both sobbing their eyes out.

Hann is also the only one in the group that has everyones number memorized. You have Matty and Hann’s, George has Ross and Matty’s, Ross only knows Hann’s by heart, and Matty barely has his own down. Thankfully, its rare that any one of you is alone by themselves without their phone, so Matty not knowing his own mate’s numbers doesnt bring as many problems as you’d think.

okay yeah not what you asked for but COPE i'm so serious

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

i was listening to music and my mate wouldnt stop. pestering me so i wrote him this.

translation: listen to me i want to listen to music leave me alone or i'll take your aperol i swear to diana (the princess.)

#giggling #anyway hiii babe belle ily long time no talk xx #lena speaks #mpind matty #the 1975 #mpind george #also sort of #mpind lore

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cha-melodius · 11 months ago

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hi sara!!! 💖❌️👀 for the asks?

HI LOLA, thank you for these!

💖 What made you start writing?

I'm pretty sure it's always been a desire to make my blorbos kiss. That's what I was doing when I was 14, and that's what I'm still doing now. 😂

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I have quite a few personal squicks but one I can list with complete certainty is that I will never, ever write teacher/student fic. Just way too close to home in a way that is not comfortable lol.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Oh geez, I feel like I've talked about a lot of them, but the other day I opened my notes app and remembered that I wrote a whole plot/outline and a bunch of rough dialogue for a RWRB orchestra conductor/piano soloist AU. Here's a snip of the beginning of my notes for this one:

Alex conductor/music director of Austin Symphony

Henry pianist performing Tchaikovsky 1, the board insists

The rehearsal is a mess, Alex and Henry sniping at each other, finally Henry demands to speak with him

They end up in a practice room, have a fight, Henry demands to know what Alex’s problem is, back when Alex was a violinist Henry snubbed him, Henry apologizes

They discover they’re locked in, neither of them have phones on them

Alex gestures go the practice piano and says play for me, H: “What, now?” A: “We’ve got time. We’re not… feeling each other. Couldn’t hurt.”

Fanfic writer emoji asks.

#about my writing #my wips #conductor/pianist au

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th4tprettylittleliar · 1 month ago

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౨ৎ cammi! - 19 - she/her

- master list! (Coming soon) taglist!

hi bbys ♡ my name is cammi and this is my somewhat first time writing on tumblr!

In the past I wrote on Wattpad, and drabbles in my notes app that I was too embarrassed to post :,) but I decided to finally try writing here!

I’m mainly a Leon fanatic so I’ll probably be writing about him a lot, but other characters I’m willing to write for are ,

- Miguel O’Hara

- Chris Redfield - res. evil

- Carlos Oliveira - res. evil

and more to come in the future!

• I will mainly write one shot smuts on here!

• hopefully in the future I’m able to start a fanfic, and continue it :p

• my one shots will mainly have a plot! So if your into that fast action you won’t find a whole bunch over here..

• in my writing I will be using female anatomy, so if that doesn’t suit your liking this blog probably isn’t for you :c

• in my post I’ll also be using she/her pronouns.

I do take request! Let me know what you want to read! I’m willing to branch out with any scenerios

BUT with request comes what I’m comfortable writing about

any form on incest (even step-cest)

the playing with bodily fluids (iykyk.)

anything non consensual.

and sadly I do not do any form of hybrid or animal play. (Unless it’s roleplay)

- I’m willing to write CNC senarios (somnophelia, etc) I will put warnings if you happen to be uncomfortable with that.

- any dark content will have warnings! I don’t want you walking into something you wouldn’t like :,(

- I may not post frequently. One, since I’m just starting this blog and two because I am a full time uni student with a job! I will be writing anytime I have free time though. C:

I would love your feedback! I’m writing on here for fun but I’d also love improving my own writing skills.

- PLEASE do not copy/plagerize my work. I’m working hard to write these fanfics and I would appreciate them not to be posted on sites without my permission.

- I do plan on branching out to ao3, just not yet.

More about me!

Fave Artist -

Lana Del Rey

Frank Ocean

Deftones

Faye Webster

(I’ll probably quote verses in my writing lol)

My writing style -

I love vintage nyphet type stuff, and the character will probably have a height difference. She’s definitely going to be girly. But, again I’m willing to branch out. If you want her to be an office siren so be it !

Thank you so so much for reading! I hope this blog grows and I’m willing to meet your fantasy needs :p

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy smut #new blog #resident evil #miguel o'hara #coquette

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scaryfaggot · 7 months ago

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i was going to do a long anonymous message but you would literally sus it out immediately. Well let’s put that to the test i suppose…… i’ll try to refrain from using key words. MY MESAAGE: in 2021 when i first started to become friends with you lot i chose a few of you and sent you all a bunch of nice messages on anon at the same time because i was cringe. and in my notes app i found at least the draft of the one i wrote for you… i’m not sure i ever sent it bc it was literally just after we had become acquainted. but you were still one of the Few people i drafted a message for. and it says as follows: “i want you to know i think you’re really cool. it slightly intimidates me. despite your habit of senseless verbal harassment (joke.) you have been quite welcoming to me and i really appreciate it. idk why we approach each other in the way that we do but i consider you a friend. maybe even a [KEY WORD].”. it is crazy to think that from our first interaction you immediately declared me as such and were so welcoming to me despite literally fucking having me blocked the hours beforehand especially bc i know you can be shy around people you have barely interacted with and we had not at all. sometimes i know i am admittedly a bit mean to you maybe EVEN THOUGH I ENVER MEAN TO BE… i am just a very teasing friend. but i hope you feel that you always feel you belong with me and our friends as much as i feel i belong with you. i use the word belonging a lot because it is something i notably never felt with the friends i had growing up and something i yearned to find and thought i would be searching for my entire life until i met you and our friends . i remember one time asking one of my closest old friends if she felt she belonged within our little friend group growing up and the genuine yes she answered made me feel like there was a glass wall between me and everyone else. i hope you never feel that way with us but if you do sometimes it is okay. it is hard not to feel alone sometimes . but feel alone with your brother <- fuck it when you can stand to let yourself. i remember in early 2022 it was. january 7th i think when i was depressed my damn crush was cold shouldering me (YES HER.) and we had that stupid fucking conversation where we ranked Something i will not be saying and the whole HA! bit came about. and i remember thinking That night “wilbur is one of my best friends”. i cant even recall how regularly we would dm at that time. i think it was a decent amount but regardless we just happened to that night. now it is daily. and it is unsettling to have days where we don’t talk <- i know we can’t when u work and i am like passed out ill some days but whenever i realize we have not talked i’m like fuckkkk. Anyways. i’m not even drunk right now i just reminisce so much about it all…. it all feels like from a different life time. those days. tommyinnit…. Fuck. i think about you and our friends every day. every morning when i get up and when i’m driving and looking out into the distance of the flat empty midwest. i know any direction i look one of you could be out there. it makes me cry. i am so happy to have you. i like that we are under the same clouds a lot of times. i like that you are four hours from me. never doubt i will meet you even if it is years from now. i will fucking track you down if i have to. this is the gayest fucking shit i have possibly ever written in my life. Well i hope that affirms how much you mean to me. Faggot

OHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDSDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BROTHER UUUUAUUGGHHH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ weeps openly

#wilburtextpost #ask #anon #fave

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partially-controlled-chaos · 7 months ago

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So I was asked by the wonderful @beardedladyqueen to do a writer ask game! Thank you so much for the ask! This was super fun and enjoyable to do! ❤️ Update: I’ve fixed the blog media sharing because I didn’t realize it was turned off.

❤️ Favorite line:

“Tavriel came upon a clearing in the dark forest. The moon shining overhead and the sound of a nearby waterfall filling the space almost entranced her. She stepped softly into the grass, feeling the first taste of dew chill her toes as she walked. Her pace had slowed as she took in the sights around her. The grass, the trees, the babbling water nearby, and finally, the heavens above.”

Okay technically it’s not one line, but it’s still my favorite. It’s a line from Chapter 1 of Simply Transactional, an Astarion x named Tav two chapter story. It’s the first story I wrote for Baldur’s Gate 3 and the first piece of fan fiction I’ve written in about a decade. This was the first little snippet I wrote and decided to go through will a full story. It’s not super powerful or impactful, but it’s special to me because it’s the single line that brought me back into writing fiction. Also about my first Tav that I’m still emotionally connected to and this poor girl just needs some fresh air and a peaceful night.

💥Change one canon event:

I really, really wish there was an interaction between Ketheric Thorm and Isobel. (to be fair I’ve never let Isobel be taken at Last Light so idk if there is an interaction or not, but either way I’ve never seen it.) Ketheric Thorm is one of my favorite villains in recent gaming history because his story is so beautifully tragic (not the mention the whole avatar of Myrkul thing makes me so happy because I love anything remotely spooky) and I would have loved to have seen something between Ketheric and Isobel. His entire reason for turning to Shar and eventually the Absolute/Myrkul/The Chosen is essentially because of her death.

And I’m aware that he knows she’s been resurrected, but he went to such great lengths to bring her back and was ultimately driven to utter despair that a confrontation or something between them would have been nice. And while I understand the reasoning of Isobel not wanting to see her father and not want to give that piece of information away to literally anyone until after his death, I just want more angst.

And just more Ketheric content in general. J.K. Simmons did such a good job with the role and I would have loved so much more content with him.

Bonus event: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, let me give Barcus Wroot a lil platonic forehead kiss and/or a hug after we kill Wulbren Bongle. He needs it.

✍️ Ideal writing setup:

Ideally I’d use a desktop on a desk with a chair. I currently use my laptop or the notes app on my phone when I’m out in the world, and they work but realistically I’d do much better if I could sit up and write. I have to work on stories after I get off work and if I get on the couch or in bed to start writing, I’ll get two sentences in and the next thing I know I’m taking a nap. And of course that just makes writing take longer because I certainly don’t want to write right after a nap.

🚀 Outline or write as you go:

So I used to do outlines way back in the day, but now I don’t. I probably should because my current writing method is a little chaotic at best. 😬 I always know what I want the story to do and where it goes before I start writing, but I don’t write it in order. I tend to write whatever is rotting my brain first, so usually I end up jumping around and doing the story in chunks. A lot of the time I’ll also write out a bunch of the dialogue and then go back in and add the details/fluff/scene setting. I will also put like general ideas in all caps so I don’t forget the order of things. (Caps so I don’t accidentally leave that in and I’ll see it.)

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #writer asks

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notofthisworldgirly · 3 months ago

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hi um idk if u answer asks but first of all thank you for all the work ur doing!! ive just been recently saved (for real this time) and trying to take God seriously, and you've really helped. but it's been rly hard (and ik it's not going to be easy but it's been strangely hard imo)

There's a bunch of challenges I've been having, but the main one is reading my Bible. I don't have a physical copy with me yet, so I've had to read it online, which I think is impacting the whole thing, but I also feel really...uncomfortable? Whenever I read. Like it's supposed to be liberating and I pray before and after but it just feels really painful (physically and mentally). Idk if its the devil or its just me but ik that it's stopping me from getting closer to God and I definitely don't want that...

So how do you read your Bible? Is there a specific number of chapters a day? Do you have a routine? maybe if I change the way I'm reading it could help? idk I'm kinda desperate atp haha

thanks so much for reading all this!! have a blessed day Jesus loves you <33

Edit 10/19: I don’t know if you get notified when I add stuff, but I think I know what you were talking about.

A couple of weeks ago I was super far from God and I started to journal to Him and it hurt real bad. I haven’t re read what I wrote but even if it hurts just keep going keep on don’t stop because it will go away resist the flesh and negative influences !! I hope this can help you ! ❤️

Ahh I’m sorry I didn’t respond sooner! Thank you for asking this question, I can see that God is working through you, and He appreciates these efforts to learn and grow through Him !!

I completely understand how hard being a Christian is, especially in the beginning, but more so in this time will satan do everything in his power to stop you from coming to the Lord. He wants to stop you from gaining wisdom and spiritual growth, so again I want to say that the Lord sees your efforts and He will use them, even the small ones, and you will fly with them.

My first tip is to take your time. Even if you begin with one verse a day, that’s perfectly fine. Think about the verse or whatever scripture you read and maybe even write down your thoughts and ways you can apply it to your life. Bible apps and websites often provide daily verses for you! From the Bible in general I recommend the psalms, proverbs, or James. I haven’t read the whole Bible through yet so I can’t seriously say what my favorite book is, but these are some of my favorites so far. Start small, and when you are ready, begin to read more. Books of the Bible that you could finish fast are Jude and Jonah, I’ve read them and they are great! Read what you can, and of course continue to pray afterwards and even talk to God about what you read.

Another tip is to engage with scripture in different ways. Audio readings, podcasts, and sermons are excellent ways to do this. What I think might help you is to invest in a devotional. These usually focus on one bible verse a day, and have notes and ways to apply verses to your life. I recently bought The Joy Of The In Between by Ashley Hetherington, and she’s really relatable!

I also think it’s important to make sure you are comfortable where you sit to read or listen. Lock your door, sit with the Lord in a place that calms you and where you won’t be anxious, just where you can come as you are. If you draw near to the Lord, He will draw near to you. So persist my friend!

Also, Gospel music contains scripture in it often and is a good way to listen as well ! My friend and I are working on themed playlists, so when they are done feel free to check them out!

Also, of course I think you should try out a physical copy! I know that these are not always attainable, so whatever you can get your hands on is perfect.

And if prayer is what works more for you, then that’s great! Do what you can, and when you think you’re done for the day, pray that later on or that the next day that you will push yourself harder and I’m telling you in Jesus’ name before you know it there will be so much progress. God likes to talk to you, so make sure you sometimes sit in silence and just be with Him. Pray for discernment and wisdom, James says He will give wisdom to all who ask and truly believe that you will receive it!

Me personally I sometimes neglect reading my Bible which I’m not proud of haha, but I try to read it everyday, for me 1-3 parts a day work usually, but I set goals to read more sometimes and I will push myself to reach it! Sometimes I read less than this goal and other times I reach it. I recommend setting goals, because you are more likely to read a certain Amount when you know how much you want to. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t reach them immediately, I have fallen asleep or picked up my phone SO many times… reading the Bible should not come as a chore though, so also pray for motivation…

I would like to conclude with this verse, Philippians 1:6 says, "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Direct your focus on growth and not perfection, trust that God has you and He is so so proud and happy that you are making moves to be close to Him.

I pray pray that this will help you somehow, despite any inconsistency haha 😭 Please lmk if you have any other questions!

He is proud and so am I ! You will be in my prayers ! Trust in His plan 🫶🏽

Now, here are some potentially relatable pins and quotes if you’re interested haha

May God bless you ! 🫶🏽