#wrote 80% of this on five hours of sleep and the other 20% on 4 hours

[queer-in-a-cornfield]

Some of us on the discord were discussing what Dewey would be like as an adult yesterday, prompting this little fic (1325 words) based on my hc that Dewey would become a stage actor

Dewey walks down the busy streets of New York, humming some vocal warmups. While he appears as calm and collected as he ever does, his mind is racing a mile a minute.

Today was his Broadway debut, and he was equal parts excited and nervous. He’d done many a show in the past but those were different. This was BROADWAY, the gold standard of theatre. Sure, this wasn’t a principal role or anything, he was just replacing a departing ensemble member, but still! A Broadway debut is a Broadway debut. It’s a big day, and he’s freaking out a little.

He rounds the corner of the theatre and opens the stage door, making a pit stop to check in for the day and readjust his bag. He nearly drops his coffee but manages to set it down to adjust his grip before continuing on to his dressing room.

He swings the door open and finds that Rico and Alex, the castmates who share the room with him had already arrived.

“Hey, guys!” Dewey says as he walks over to his designated area. He pauses suddenly before he can put his things down. “What’s all this?”

Surrounding his mirror were a pair of blue balloons, some confetti, and a handwritten banner on top that read “Congrats on your debut!”

Rico speaks up, “It’s your first show tonight, Dewey! If that isn’t cause for celebration I don’t know what is.” Alex nods in agreement.

“Aw, thanks guys,” Dewey smiles, clearing away some of the confetti to put down his bag.

“So how’re you feeling? Ready to show the world what you’re made of?” Alex asks.

“Yeah, I’m really excited, I’ve been dreaming about this for years,” he says, pulling out his notes to review once he finishes warming up.

He spends the next few minutes stretching, uncharacteristically quiet, before sighing and asking, “Guys, you’ve both done this for a while, so… how did you get over the nerves? It still feels insane that I’m even here, and I’m really worried that something’ll go wrong and ruin my chances of continuing here.”

Rico sighs, “I’m not gonna lie, that fear just takes time to get over. But trust me, you’re gonna do great tonight, and soon enough you won’t be so anxious anymore.”

The trio sit in silence for a moment before Alex pipes up, “Didn’t you mention that one of your brothers had a history with anxiety? Maybe he’ll have some advice for you.”

Dewey nods, then grabs his phone from his pocket, pulls up Huey’s contact, and starts a video call.

“Hey Dewey, what’s up?” Huey’s voice picks up through the phone speakers.

“Hi, Hubert. Did you guys just land or something?” Dewey asks, noticing Huey’s surroundings.

“Yeah, we just landed, oh… fifteen minutes ago? We just got to baggage claim- sorry, one sec,” he says, turning to talk to someone off-screen.

Suddenly Uncle Scrooge appears on screen. “Dewey, lad! Can- can ya see me- how does this thing- curse me kilts, what did Ah just-“ Scrooge says as he confusedly fiddles with the phone.

“Uncle Scrooge, I’ll hold the phone for you,” Huey interjects as he grabs his phone back and centers them both on screen.

“So why’d you want to talk to me, Dew?” Huey asks.

Dewey pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts before explaining. But he pauses a moment too long because more faces suddenly attempt to crowd into the view of Huey’s phone camera, all trying to greet him at once. Dewey snickers a little watching Uncle Donald, the last one to get back from claiming their baggage, trying to squeeze into view with little success.

“Hey guys,” Dewey says. “I love you all, but if I could maybe just talk to Huey for a second? I’ll see you guys tonight.”

Reluctantly the rest of the group backs out of frame, leaving once again only Huey.

Sighing amusedly, Huey asks, “Okay, so what did you want me for, Dew?”

“Okay, so, like, I was wondering, basically, like-,” Dewey pauses for a second. “How do you handle your anxiety? Cause I’m kinda freaking out a little right now.”

Huey thinks for a moment. “Well, different things work for different people, but whenever my nerves are getting to me I usually like to take some deep breaths, or you could do the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, ummm… yeah, I’d say those are my go-to's. I’d also say that drinking coffee wouldn’t help with nerves at all but I don’t think you’d listen to that one, so…”

Dewey laughs, “Thanks, Huey.”

“Of course, Dew. And also remember, we’re all gonna be there cheering for yo-,” Huey gets cut off by a nearby thud, which he turns to look at.

“Uncle Donald’s suitcase just broke,” Huey explains, walking over to help. “You’re gonna do great tonight and we can’t wait to see you after the show! Break a leg!” Huey signs off.

“Bye Huey, see you guys later,” Dewey replies, ending the call.

“Man, it’s still so weird to me that the richest duck in the world is your uncle,” Alex says.

“I don’t know if that’s more surprising or the fact that he doesn’t have a private plane to get here on,” Rico adds.

“Well, we do have a plane but the pilot can’t make it out here until next week. Aaaaand I’m realizing how much of a spoiled rich kid I sound like right now,” Dewey starts laughing again.

“Nah, if you want a really spoiled rich kid that would be more of a… what’s his name? That creep who got all his money from his grandmeemawmaw or whatever?” Alex retorts.

“Doofus Drake?” Rico supplies.

“Yes, him!”

“Oh, you guys don’t even know the half of it,” Dewey exclaims, getting back into his stretching.

——————————————————————-

Dewey opens up the stage door to exit the building. It was dark out now. He was one of the earlier cast members out of the doors, so there was a pretty good-sized crowd greeting him. As he worms his way through them, some congratulate him for making his Broadway debut, and one woman even asks for a picture, which catches him slightly off guard.

Eventually, he makes his way past the main crowd where he is finally greeted by his family, who all promptly give him a bear hug.

“Dewey!!! That was amazing!” Webby exclaims once they all pull away.

“I knew you’d do great,” Huey concurs, grinning.

“Theatre has never been my thing, so believe me when I say that that absolutely blew me away,” Louie adds.

“I’m so proud of ye, lad,” Scrooge says. “Ye’ve done well for yerself.”

Uncle Donald, at a loss for words, smiles and gives him another bear hug.

Della then pries Donald off of him to give him her own hug.

“You boys never cease to make me proud,” she says as she lets him go.

“Aw, you guys,” Dewey says, laughing a little. “You’re gonna get me emotional.”

“We’ve all been emotional since you came on stage, it’s your turn now,” Huey jokes.

Dewey laughs, “Okay, that’s fair.”

“Not to interrupt a nice family moment, but would you guys like a picture?” Rico says suddenly from behind Dewey, startling him.

“Oh my god, Rico! You can’t scare me like that!”

Dewey recollects himself and turns back to face his family.

“Guys, this is Rico, one of my castmates. Fam, Rico, Rico, fam. And yeah, I think we’d like a picture.”

An obscene amount of pictures later, everyone has their phones back with significantly less storage space than before.

“Thanks, Rico!” Dewey calls out as his castmate departs.

“See you tomorrow,” he yells back.

“Well,” Della says. “I think it’s time for some celebration! What time were those reservations for, Uncle Scrooge?”

“… In ten minutes.”

“Oh. Well, let’s get going then!” She exclaims, prompting the group to hurry off to this restaurant, dragging a confused but happy Dewey along with them.

[booitislife]

Let’s Talk About Periods

My period is horrible. I have heard people who don’t get periods say: “It can’t be that bad.” Yes, yes it can. Some studies suggest that cramps can be a worse pain for women than a heart attack. My period technically starts a few days before bleeding. I get a period flu. A period flu is a few days of unexplained illness and flu-like symptoms (low grade fever, chills, etc) a few days before your period starts. I didn’t used to get this, but my body decided I needed this. The first time I got it, my doctor put me on antibiotics thinking I had a sinus infection. (She is proactive about fevers because I am a transplant patient).

My minor symptoms are bloating, diarrhea, lethargy, sometimes headaches, I get irritable, my breasts hurt for a few days, and some other lesser inconveniences. However - my biggest two issues? Pain and bleeding.

Bleeding - I bleed for eight to ten days every month. Usually the first one and last two of the cycle are light. I tend to have one or two very heavy days, depending on the month, and when I say heavy - I mean clots. Lots of them. I will soak through a ten hour pad in less than two hours. I have lost so many pairs of underwear. I now have “period underwear” that is darker or just old so I don’t care if it gets stained. The rest of the days are moderate.

Pain - This is the worst part of my period. I start cramping on day one and I usually don’t stop until the second to last day of my period. When I say it’s bad - I mean excruciating. I was once taken to the hospital by my mom because I couldn’t breathe right during cramps. The doctors rushed me in, thinking I was having a miscarriage, a burst cyst, or maybe appendicitis. They did lab work and ultrasounds. While I was waiting they gave me fentanyl, which is 80-100x stronger than morphine. I could still feel the pain. It dulled it, but didn’t negate it. The doctor came back in shock - there was nothing wrong. No miscarriage, no cysts, and my appendix looked great. These were just the cramps I was going to have to live with. I was given pain meds for every month - 20 - to deal with that I’m going through.

I have a few period journal entries that I would like to post. If you don’t want to read, please scroll down past the blue writing. Sadly, these are only four of dozens of examples.

September 17, 2020 - Day 5 of my period.

Woke up with horrible cramps that were so bad I was shaking. Slept on the couch again because I was tossing and turning so much from the pain. Didn’t fall asleep until nearly 4. Passed a clot which, usually by day 5, will alleviate some of the pain, but it didn’t. The exhaustion took over and I fell asleep until about 11:30, but when I woke up I was so tired I could barely move.

November 16, 2020 - Day 4 of my period.

I could not sleep last night. The pain is intense and comes in waves. The bleeding started to get heavy a little after 7AM. It’s a little after 8:30 when I’m writing this and I have passed 2 large clots and probably 5-6 smaller ones. I soaked through 1 pad already. I’m going back to bed and hopefully sleep for a few hours. Woke up with horrible cramps. Haven’t been able to get out of bed. Managed to get some food down to take my antibiotic, but that’s it. I am exhausted and the pain is radiating to my knees.

February 9, 2021 - Day 3 of my period.

I finally fell asleep around three, but I woke up a little after five with searing cramps. They went down my legs and around my back. I could barely think straight. I took meds, tried meditation, used a heating pad. Nothing helped, I finally passed a big clot and the pain subsided. I moved to the couch and was almost asleep when the pain started again around 9. I did everything the same - meds, meditation, heat. I’m going to try to get some more sleep.

April 14, 2021 - Day 2 of my period.

Having trouble getting to sleep. After taking pain meds and using pain cream on my back, the pain is just getting worse. I almost fell asleep, but woke up in pain. It’s 1:30 AM, and I am heading downstairs to lay on the couch with my heating pad. I can’t get comfortable and the pain is getting worse. It’s 5AM. I still can’t sleep. The pain is very bad. I just want to sleep through it and I can’t. Couldn’t sleep. The pain has somehow gotten worse over the afternoon. As of right now, I have pain meds in my system, pain cream on my back and abdomen, I took a very hot bath, and I am now laying with a heating pad. I am still in searing pain. I can’t do this much longer. I burst into tears a few minutes ago. Why won’t someone help me?

I have asked doctors, so many times, to have a hysterectomy. At first I was told I was too young. Then? I was told my husband would need to sign off on such a procedure. My husband was more than ready. If anything, he was just overtly appalled that he would have to do that, or that any doctor worth there degree would ask that. He asked what it would take for him to get a vasectomy. They said just call a urologist. “Would she have to sign off?” He asked indicating me, and when he was told no he said: “This is a ridiculous double standard. booitislife can make her own choices.”

I have seen 6 OBGYN’s in the last 8 years. The first told me I was too young. She offered a procedure called an Endometrial ablation. It does greatly reduce the bleeding issues. However, I wasn’t really worried about the bleeding - I was worried about the pain. She told me it wouldn’t really do anything for the pain, so I said no. I have to be careful with my transplanted kidney and any kind of anesthesia can be dangerous.

The second OBGYN was a man in the same office who was also conducting a cervical biopsy on me. I’ll never forgot the intense flash of pain and how I nearly yelled, but I did start to cry. According to my husband there was blood spray on the floor as the doctor looked up at me and said in a condescending voice - “That doesn’t hurt! Come on!” And then he laughed. He wouldn’t even discuss a hysterectomy. From that biopsy I learned I have pre-cancer on my cervix and underwent a LEEP procedure. They use a hoop wire heated by electric current to scrape off the parts that could become dangerous.

The third was about a half an hour away at a bigger hospital. He was the guy who did an endometrial biopsy on me. Different than the cervical biopsy, this was just a precaution after something looked off. He wasn’t as condescending as the others, and that biopsy came back normal. However, he wouldn’t do the hysterectomy either. He said I should go to a doctor in a hospital that has a transplant team - seemed reasonable.

Between the 3rd and 4th doctores I had been doing my research. I went to my nephrologist that was keeping track of my transplanted kidney, and told him about my struggles. He said he saw no issue with me getting a hysterectomy and, in fact, I should. He even confirmed with the current head of transplant from the hospital I had my transplant surgery in. So, I was off - feeling more confident. This new OBGYN was a doctor at my transplant hospital.

The fourth OBGYN - or as I call him “The Biggest Mother Fucker I had the displeasure to meet”. He dismissed a lot of my concerns quickly, and talked to me as if I didn’t know anything. Then, he asked if I wanted to try an IUD. Now, I have nothing against anyone who gets an IUD. If that is for you, and it’s working - awesome. I know my brain. I know my brain would focus on everything bad an IUD could do. I politely explained this to my doctor. This wasn’t an option for me. My panic would go crazy. He wrote some things down and told me he wanted to to a procedure just to check for any cancer cells that could be hiding, but (and oh yes, there was a big but) he would only do the procedure if I signed yes to getting a Mirana IUD. I had to sign a consent form before he would even schedule the procedure. So, I did. Then I canceled my procedure and never went to see him again. Oh, also, this asshole handed me pro-life pamphlets on my way out.

The fifth OBGYN - more trusting, no results. At this point I was exhausted. I was tired of trying and being let down, fighting to get an appointment. This OBGYN was a woman and she worked in the same office as the second guy I went to. I laid it all out for her. I told her what the previous doctor did. I told her about the pain, about not being able to barely move. I poured out my heart and soul to her. She empathized, then told me she did not feel comfortable doing my hysterectomy. Because the uterus is close to the transplanted kidney, she thought I needed a specialist. A type of doctor called an OBGYN oncologist. As luck would have it, there was one on staff at my transplant hospital. I waited and waited for an appointment. I waited for over a year. Finally they called and said they were just too booked. They had one doctor who did it, and it was most dire cases first. I understand that. So, I wasn’t angry or frustrated this time. The office at the hospital asked me if I would like to see another OBGYN on staff. I said as long as it wasn’t OBGYN Biggest Mother Fucker I had the Displeasure to Meet. I asked if it could be a woman and we set it up.

Okay, the last one for now. The OBGYN they set me up with was a resident. She seemed nice at first. We sat and talked about my pain, the exhaustion. She wanted to talk birth control options. Great. Her advice to me was to stay away from the shot and the implant. She agreed about the IUD not being right for me. So, she said she wanted me to start talking the pill. I stopped her. I had been on the pill twice. Once when I was 16, another time when I was 24. Two different kinds. Both times I had side effects. The most prominent was this intense stomach cramp. I would get headaches, nausea, extreme weight gain. I couldn’t live my life. I told this doctor that and she didn’t even look at me in the eye when she said...... “Well, I won’t even consider a hysterectomy until you’re on six full months of birth control.” It didn’t matter what other symptoms I had. It didn’t matter what I was and wasn’t comfortable with, not really. So, here I am, looking for lucky number 7 when it comes to OBGYN’s.

As I sit here tonight, losing a lot of blood through clots, being so tired I can’t think, but in too much pain to sleep. I found myself so angry. About an hour before I started writing this I had a pretty big panic attack. I haven’t had one of those in a long time. But - Tuesday night I slept for three hours. Last night I slept about five. Tonight it is almost 3 AM and I’m still awake. The pain is exhausting, but also keeps me awake. It also makes me tense. So, parts of my body started tingling. Instead of my logical side taking over and saying, “Yeah, you have been clenching for four days. You’re gonna feel odd things.” I convinced myself I was dying and had to take medicine. I am so tired on a deep level. I don’t want to have to go through this anymore, and I don’t know if that makes me sound selfish... I just.., I DON’T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS ANYMORE.

So, here we are. If you experience cramps like I do, I am so truly sorry. You don’t deserve them, and if I could do something to help you - I would in a heartbeat. People should not have to live like this. Doctors should listen to us and hear when we say that something like this is, genuinely, detrimental to our lives. If we want permanent birth control whether it be our tubes tied, an ablation, or a hysterectomy - it’s our body. We should decide what we can do with it. Please don’t stop fighting. Please don’t stop advocating for yourself. If you ever need to talk, I’m here. Have a good night, anyone who reads this. Thank you for reading this long-winded rant. Take care of yourself.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Saturday 15 June 1839

8 ½

2

rain in the night – dull morning F53 ½° inside and 51 ½° outside now at 9 ¼ and breakfast in about ¾ hour – had Booth – some bills to pay for which received from A- £6 and gave it to B- and gave him copy of letter to write to Cooksons’ brother – I wrote and sent by him about after 12 note to ‘Messrs. Parker and Adam solicitors Halifax’ enclosing Nelsons’ estate of the terrace-walling – had Thomas Pearson and his brother George about the upper Dovehouse (Pump) farm – made no bid – if I was determined to have £80 there was an end – very well, said I, and wished him good morning and came away – all very civil but I would rather not have George P- unless I cannot mend myself – B- proposed my letting the land and sufficient building at £60, and taking the £20 worth of cottages to myself – I see no great objection to this? think about it – I would rather have Empsall or Joshua Lee than George Pearson as I observed to DB.  looking over linen from the wash, etc. at luncheon with A- till after 2 had struck then wrote the above of today – changed my pelisse and off to the bank (down the o.b.) at 4 for had stood talking to Robert Mann and then John Booth and then D. Booth in the Lodge road and at the Lodge above an hour – A- rode off to Cliff hill about 2 ½ and returned about 5 ½ - settle that DB. is to be paid 2 guineas per week from 1 January to 1 July and then to begin with after the rate of per annum £20 from A- and the same from me for looking after the estate and £20 for the colliery = £60 per annum – values his time at 2 guineas per week or 7/. per day – will bring his son Joseph forward – he himself cannot take trowel in hand again – down the o.b. to the bank – gave Bank of England Huddersfield post bill no. 4435 for H- [watt] manager D. Marsden  in exchange for £45 in B. of E- fives, and five pounds in silver and £50 in their own   notes – this transaction taken no notice of by the bank – finding that if I drew a bill today payable  a month after date £463 to Mr. Gray the stamp would cost 5/. Mr. McK- proposed my drawing at 21 days – but said I the interest lost would then be more than the stamp – no! Be so good as look said I - the interest would be 6/. – well! then said I, I will let the matter alone, and write and tell Mr. Gray to draw on you on the 15th for the money – and I will add to the letter I gave you the other day that on the 15thJuly next you pay £463 and afterwards as directed above – i.e. 15th each succeeding January and July – McK- very civil – returned up the o.b. having merely reminded McK- that nobody had any right to draw out, but they might put in what they pleased – home about 5 – stood talking to Robert Mann – he paid me for 12 loads coal carting to his own house Charlestown and to a neighbours’ in the new bank at two pence = 4/. but other people having 3d. per load I am in future to have the same – came in with DB. – paid him sundry small bills and larger bill for A- = £32.8.10 which I took out of the hundred pounds post bill – then with A- till dinner at 7 ¼ having 1st gone into the cellar for 1 A-‘s old port and 1 Malmsey Madeira – after dinner pothered about the loss of Tiny who had not returned with me from H-x – we had given her up for lost when she came back about (before) 9 – wrote all but the 1st 13 lines of today till now 9 ½ A- sleeping on the bed by me in the blue room – then went downstairs and made coffee and had 2 cups, and slumbered on the sofa – came upstairs again (A- still asleep) about 10 ¼ - then busy looking over one thing or other till one struck A- still asleep tho’ she had got up for a minute or 2 about 11 – F54 ½° inside and 48 ½° outside now at one am one tonight – fine day

[simping-on-the-daily]

Get to know Chelsea uncomfortably well! I just hope I can give credit to the person who wrote out the questions. XD

1. What is you middle name? “Not for me!” 2. How old are you? “Well, Thomas is twenty-nine and I was created when he was five, so........twenty-four?” 3. What is your birthday? September 25th!” 4. What is your zodiac sign? “Libra!” 5. What is your favorite color? Pink! Or black! Depends.” 6. What's your lucky number? “19th of December!” 7. Do you have any pets? “Oh, I wish!” 8. Where are you from? “The Mindscape.” 9. How tall are you? “6′1!” 10. What shoe size are you? “I think I mentioned this in another post?” 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? “As many as I want! We don’t need to ‘buy’ stuff.” 12. What was your last dream about? “Virgil and me were riding on a giant carrot. Don’t ask. XD” 13. What talents do you have? ”Really good at Origami!” 14. Are you psychic in any way? “I can sense when people are feeling sad, so sorta?” 15. Favorite song? ”It’s All Love from Trolls: World Tour.” 16. Favorite movie? “The BNHA/MHA movies!” 17. Who would be your ideal partner? “I already have my ideal partner.” 18. Do you want children? “WE CAN HAVE KIDS?!?!” 19. Do you want a church wedding? “I’d prefer a garden wedding!” 20. Are you religious? “Not me personally, but Thomas was raised with a Catholic view.” 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? ”My boyfriend makes sure that never happens. Virgil truly lives up to his name as the protector!” 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? “Nah. We don’t even have laws here! Just basic human decency.” 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? “I was literally created by a celebrity. Of course!” 24. Baths or showers? “Baths! They’re so relaxing!” 25. What color socks are you wearing? “Same as before; black and white striped socks.” 26. Have you ever been famous? “Probably! I am part of a famous YouTube program, so maybe. XD” 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? “I think I already am.” 28. What type of music do you like? “Inspirational Songs! Virgil’s gotten me into Panic! At The Disco.” 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? “This question better fits Remus. :p” 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? “Already answered this!” 31. What position do you usually sleep in? “I’m always hugging something! Whether it’s Virgil or a pillow, nothing can escape my cuddles. >:3″ 32. How big is your house? “It’s always changing because of Roman.” 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? “Usually a pop tart or some pancakes.” 34. Have you ever fired a gun? “Noooooooooooo........” 35. Have you ever tried archery? “Saw Roman try it, did it, broke my foot, cried, and got cuddled.” 36. Favorite clean word? So......just a word?” 37. Favorite swear word? “None!” 38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? “Thirty-one hours, I think?” 39. Do you have any scars? “If I had, they would’ve healed.” 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? “Nah. Virgil was more like a non-subtle piner.” 41. Are you a good liar? “Not really? I don’t lie a whole lot, so I’m a little rusty.” 42. Are you a good judge of character? “I’ll leave that one in the air.” 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? “My ability to make my voice more relaxing does instinctively change to people’s preferences. If some people think a British accent is calming, I get a British accent.” 44. Do you have a strong accent? “Nah!” 45. What is your favorite accent? “This is a question?” 46. What is your personality type? “?????????” 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? “I don’t it’s ‘expensive’ when you didn’t even buy it in the first place. :p” 48. Can you curl your tongue? “Yep!” 49. Are you an innie or an outie? “Insert the “I AM CONFUSION MEME” right now, please.” 50. Left or right handed? “Men to the left, because woman are always right. :D Quotes aside though, I’m a leftie!” 51. Are you scared of spiders? “Unless they’re watching me in the shower like a perv, then no.” 52. Favorite food? *insert a starry eyed Chelsea rambling about junk food* 53. Favorite foreign food? “Pizza counts, right?” 54. Are you a clean or messy person? “Depends.” 55. Most used phrased? ”I’m here for you.” 56. Most used word? “Love.” 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? “Not long! We can just snap our fingers and poof, we’re camera ready.” 58. Do you have much of an ego? “I’d like to think I’m pretty modest!” 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? “Who. Bites. Lollipops?” 60. Do you talk to yourself? “It’s instinctive. I don’t know I do it until someone points it out. ;p” 61. Do you sing to yourself? “More like I hum to myself!” 62. Are you a good singer? “I’d like to think so!” 63. Biggest Fear? “Letting people down.” 64. Are you a gossip? “.........No?” 65. Best dramatic movie you've seen? “Thinking face: activate.” 66. Do you like long or short hair? “Hair’s hair!” 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? “Nope-” 68. Favorite school subject? “Art was always fun! Even if you technically never went to class....” 69. Extrovert or Introvert? “Extrovert!” 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? ”I think Thomas has, but not me myself.” 71. What makes you nervous? “Not helping others. ‘We need to talk’ is also pretty nerve wracking.” 72. Are you scared of the dark? “I’m not scared of the dark, I’m scared of what's in the dark.........YES I AM-” 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? “Only if it’s like ‘hey, you used that word wrong and it’s actually really offensive.’“ 74. Are you ticklish? “Please don’t let Virgil know-” 75. Have you ever started a rumor? “It was a very minor rumor that never hurt anyone!” 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? “Does being part of the jury in the courtroom count?” 77. Have you ever drank underage? “I was a very good rule following child!” 78. Have you ever done drugs? ”NO-” 79. Who was your first real crush? “Virgil. By extension, he’s my first boyfriend! Hopefully my only.” 80. How many piercings do you have? ”Nippity nopeity none!” 81. Can you roll your R’s? “Bold of you to assume I can even roll my R’s.” 82. How fast can you type? “Pretty fast!” 83. How fast can you run? “Pretty slow!” 84. What color is your hair? “Already answered this, but it’s sorta like a light salmon? Lightish reddish pink?” 85. What color is your eyes? “Magenta and pink! It’s got a sorta effect to it.” 86. What are you allergic to? “I feel really bad for the people who are allergic!” 87. Do you keep a journal? “Used to, and I still have it!” 88. What do your parents do? “I don’t have parents, try again.” 89. Do you like your age? ”Not sure on how to answer this?” 90. What makes you angry? “Like Mr. Rogers said, people hurting other people.” 91. Do you like your own name? “Why do people like this question so much-” 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? “I have! For a boy, I think I said Aiden, Connor and Jacob. For a girl I went with Faith, Hope and Harmony.” 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? “My child is my child, and I’ll love them regardless of their gender!” 94. What are you strengths? “I’m upbeat, optimistic, and comforting! At least, that’s what I think.” 95. What are your weaknesses? “I don’t like these kind of questions? I don’t wanna dwaddle on the bad bits of myself.....” 96. How did you get your name? ”We all came up with our names during high school! Aisha came up with her name and since we both imaginary friends created in the same year, I stuck with the ‘ending with a’ pattern and got Chelsea!” 97. Were your ancestors royalty? “I don’t even have ancestors-” 98. Do you have any scars? “I’m pretty sure we had this question already-” 99. Color of your bedspread? ”Black and pink!” 100. Color of your room? “My bedroom walls? Well, it’s white.”

[youcanhavemybuckanyday]

Answer all of them. 1-170. have fun.

HELL YES LETS GOOOOOOOO

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? 

5′2″. Exactly how tall I am now. I like being short.

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

I’ve always wanted a ferret. They can weed out people for me. If a person says “Ew, it’s a rat” then they ain’t worth my time.

 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? 

Whatever’s on sale. Preferably baggy and comfortable

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? 

Always has been and always will be the Nancy Drew computer games. I’m obsessed. There are 32 games (we don’t talk about number 33), and I’ve played each one dozens of times.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: 

My laptop, my dog, my tumblr account

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? 

Warning: Prone to spontaneous breakdowns, both physically and mentally.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? 

Honest opinion on @Elizard-Hamilton, the person who sent this ask: They’re super sweet and kind, and probably the first reciprocal tumblr friendship I’ve ever had.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] 

Don’t know what that is, too drunk to figure it out right now.

9: Are you ticklish? 

God yes. But I retaliate. If you tickle me, you will die.

10: Are you allergic to anything? 

No, that’s the one medical thing that I don’t have.

11: What’s your sexuality? 

Hetero-Demi Sexual. So I like men, but I’m only sexually attracted to them if we’ve been close for a long time.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? 

Cocoa, always. Specifically, Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate. Medium, 2 creams.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? 

Dog. Always.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? 

I answered this one already, definitely merperson.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? 

Nope.

16: How tall are you? 

See above.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? 

I’d just add an L to my name. New name, pronounced the same.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 

Right now, 126 lbs. But I should be 110. I just got off a medication that made me gain 40 pounds practically overnight. I went from 100 pounds to 140 pounds. I’m slowing losing the weight.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? 

Not in the traditional sense, but I do believe there are things about the departed we don’t yet understand. Kind of like way back when they though lightning was a supernatural event, until they found a scientific explanation for it. I think there’s stuff we just haven’t discovered yet.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? 

Ocean.

21: Are you religious? 

Nope, athiest.

22: Pet peeves? 

Idk, I can’t think of any right now.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? 

Wtf I don’t know? Who cares? I’d rather be whatever koalas are. They sleep 22 hours a day.

24: Favorite constellation? 

The only one I can think of right now is big dipper. That makes it my favourite and also my least favourite constellation.

25: Favorite star? 

See question 24, but North Star.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? 

I don’t know what that is? Do you mean like Barbie? I litterally watching Barbie Nutcracker right now, lol.

27: Any phobias or fears? 

Spiders.

28: Do you think global warming is real? 

Duh.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? 

No.

30: Favorite movie? 

Does Hamilton count? If yes, that. If not, Knives Out. I’m a sucker for a good murder mystery.

31: Do you get scared easily? 

Yes.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 

Oh god. Idk. You’re going to make me do math on vacation. Lets see. 3 Dogs, 2 Cats, ungodly numbers of fish, 2 rats, 5 hermit crabs, 3 hamsters, probably others I can’t remember.

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 

@elizard-hamilton 10/10. 5 stars. Thumbs up. Gold Star.

34: What is a color that calms you? 

Royal Purple. I used to have a bedroom where everything was royal purple. The walls, the furniture, the bedding, the accessories. Everything. It was a great time in my life, so the colour makes me think of good times.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? 

I’d love to go to Belgium. My grandmother was born there, and we still have family over there that I’ve never met.

36: Where were you born? 

London Ontario

37: What is your eye color? 

Hazel

38: Introvert or extrovert? 

Introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? 

Not at all

40: Hugs or kisses? 

None of the above. I have Asperger's, I don’t like to be touched.

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? 

I’d love to see my BFF from high school again. Haven’t talked to her since we graduated. Rachel, if you’re out there, I miss you.

42: Who is someone you love deeply? 

My parents.

43: Any piercings you want? 

None.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? 

Nope. I don’t have anything against them, they’re just not for me. If you have them, I won’t think any less of you. There’s nothing wrong with them.

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? 

Nope. I’ve already got really shitty lungs (I have Cystic Fibrosis), I’d rather not make them worse than they already are.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! 

Oh gosh, he’s cute, funny, talented, a great singer, a great writer, he wrote a hit broadway musical... oh, he doesn’t count? Then no, no one right now.

47: What is a sound you really hate? 

Styrofoam rubbing against more styrofoam.

48: A sound you really love? 

The notification sound tumblr makes when I get something in my inbox

49: Can you do a backflip? 

HA no.

50: Can you do the splits? 

HA HA no.

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? 

Do I even need to answer this? I’m going to anyway. It’s..... drumroll........ Danny Devito! Lol, no, it’s Lin Manuel-Miranda

52: Favorite movie? 

This is the same as question 30.

53: How are you feeling right now? 

Drunk. Next question.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? 

Purple. I used to have purple hair. Then I got older and got a real job and I’m not allowed to die my hair anymore.

55: When did you feel happiest? 

At 16, with my purple hair and purple bedroom and my bff in like grade 11

56: Something that calms you down? 

Hamilton

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 

Asperger’s, Depression, situational anxiety.

58: What does your URL mean? 

Every time is Hamiltime. Because it’s always time for Hamilton.

59: What three words describe you the most? 

Bizarre, confrontational, idk. Is there a word that means unwilling to put up with anyone’s bullshit? Because if so, then that.

60: Do you believe in evolution? 

Yes. Evolution is a fact, it’s been proven. So this question should not say do you believe in evolution, it should say do you accept evolution.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? 

If they start posting stuff i disagree with, or if they totally veer into a new fandom I’m not interested in. I’ve lost so many good blogs to kpop.

62: What makes you follow a blog? 

Idk, I like their stuff?

63: Favorite kind of person: 

Kind people.

64: Favorite animal(s): 

Pug.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. 

I’m not going to start naming friends, cause I’ve got way more than three and I know I’m going to forget someone, so here’s 3 random blogs I enjoy: gmoringgnight, tinywhim, torsnavi

66: Favorite emoticon: 

I’m on my laptop, i don’t have emoticons right now, but probably the one where he’s crying laughing

67: Favorite meme: 

All of them. I love all the memes.

68: What is your MBTI personality type? 

I’m too drunk to remember right now, ask me tomorrow.

69: What is your star sign? 

Pisces

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? 

He cannot. He’s an idiot. But he can give you a high five, if that counts for something.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? 

Leggings, T-Shirt, Hoodie. Whatever’s clean.

72: Post a selfie or two? 

No

73: Do you have platform shoes? 

No

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? 

I can solve a rubik’s cube

75: Can you do a front flip? 

LOL NO

76: Do you like birds? 

To look at, not to own or touch

77: Do you like to swim? 

Very much. In the water, it’s the one place my back doesn’t hurt.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? 

Swimming. I don’t skate. I know, oh wow, a Canadian who can’t skate. Sue me.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: 

Trump.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: 

Alex Clairmont-Diaz

81: Piercings you have? 

My ears are pierced.

82: Something you really enjoy doing: 

Reading

83: Favorite person to talk to: 

My mom

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? 

Amazing, finally a place I can be as weird as I want and it’s totally anonymous.

85: How many followers do you have? 

I have no idea.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? 

HA no

87: Do your socks always match? 

Yes

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? 

When I was 14, they did a surgery where they put metal rods in my spine to keep it from growing crooked. My spine doesn’t bend at all. So I’ve never tried to touch my toes, but I’m going to go with no, I can’t.

89: What are your birthstones? 

I think Aquamarine? I don’t remember.

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? 

Koala. They sleep 22 hours a day.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? 

I can’t think of any flowers right now beyond rose and tulip, and neither represent me. Is there a flower that’s really ugly? If so, that.

92: A store you hate? 

Gap. I despise that store with every escence of my being.

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 

None. It tastes like manure.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? 

Ooh, fly. No more wheelchair.

95: Do you like to wear camo? 

I don’t think i particularly like or dislike it. I just don’t wear it.

96: Winter or summer? 

SUMMER ALL THE TIME

97: How long can you hold your breath for? 

Not long at all. See explanation above, r.e. Cystic Fibrosis

98: Least favorite person? 

Trump

99: Someone you look up to: 

My mom

100: A store you love? 

Hot Topic. Yes, I’m basic like that. 

101: Favorite type of shoes 

Flats, cause I don’t have to attempt to bend over to put them on.

102: Where do you live? 

Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Yes, I’m serious.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? 

Nope.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? 

Wtf? Are people supposed to have a favourite mineral or gem?

105: Do you drink milk? 

No

106: Do you like bugs? 

No

107: Do you like spiders? 

NO

108: Something you get paranoid about? 

If I remembered to turn off my computer before I go to bed.

109: Can you draw: 

Nope

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? 

On a daily basis, people ask me why I use my scooter or my wheelchair. Every day. Not so much during the pandemic, but yeah.

111: A question you hate being asked? 

“When are you going to get a boyfriend?” “When are you going to settle down?” 

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? 

NOPE

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? 

Who doesn’t?

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? 

Cloudy, cause then I can stay indoors guilt-free

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: 

My dog. But he’s with my sister.

116: Favorite cloud type: 

???? Is this something I’m supposed to have an opinion on?????

117: What color do you wish the sky was? 

???? IDGAF ??????

118: Do you have freckles? 

No

119: Favorite thing about a person: 

Their laugh

120: Fruits or vegetables? 

Fruit

121: Something you want to do right now: 

Get another drink, but that’s probs not a great idea

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? 

Ocean

123: Sweet or sour foods? 

Sweet

124: Bright or dim lights? 

Dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? 

No

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: 

I can’t reblog ads. Some of those ads are really, REALLY funny.

127: Something you love about Tumblr: 

Completely anonymous. I could be anyone. For all you know, I’m actually Mike Pence. (I promise I’m not)

128: What do you think about the least? 

Idk? There’s probably lots of stuff I’ve never thought about at all

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? 

Nothing, but I want there to be a little machine on top that looks like a parking meter, and when you put money in it you get wifi for an hour.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? 

Trump, most of the politicians in the states. I want to go to New York, and I can’t because y’all can’t get your shit together and kick this virus.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? 

My face. Not going to elaborate.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes, but only because I get yelled at if I don’t.

133: Computer or TV? 

Computer.

134: Do you like roller coasters? 

I used to. Then the back surgery and now I can’t anymore.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? 

Motion sickness no, seasickness yes.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? 

Lobed.

137: Do you believe in karma? 

I believe that what you do will eventually come back to bite you in the ass, but I don’t believe in some cosmic force that balances the scales.

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 

0. Not going to elaborate.

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? 

None. My name has always been Adele. The few people who tried to give me nicknames got shot down real quick.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? 

When I was little, yeah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? 

Yes ma’am. For over a decade.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? 

Both at different times.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? 

Giving. I never know what to say when receiving.

144: What makes you angry 

A lot of things these days. Can’t think of anything specific. My sister, usually.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 

Two. I speak French and English.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? 

Boys.

147: Are you androgynous? 

Nope.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: 

My face. Not going to elaborate.

149: Favorite thing about your personality: 

My “take no shit” attitude.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. 

Lin Manuel Miranda, Renee Elise Goldsberry, anyone from West Wing

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? 

Revolutionary America

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? 

I’ve been known to partake.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] 

Nope. I’m forever alone.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? 

No. I have Asperger’s. No touching.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? 

No.

156: What embarrasses you? 

When I need to ask for help for really simple things because of my wheelchair or other disabilities. I hate it.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: 

The future, for reasons way too complex to write in a tumblr post.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: 

I convinced half my second grade class I was related to Elton John once. That was fun. They believed it for like 3 months.

159: How many people are you following? 

Hundreds.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 

I don’t even know how I would find that out.

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 

Right now, I have 12, but that’s because I’ve queued up the next 4 days HamiltonHungerGames. Usually, I have none. I don’t understand how people have drafts. When I feel like writing something on tumblr, I start a post, I end the post, I post it. I never use drafts

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 

??? Again, I have no idea how to find that information.

163: Last time you cried and why: 

I honestly don’t remember.

164: Do you have long or short hair? 

Usually long, but right now short. My mom decided to give me a covid haircut, and she does not understand the meaning of “Just a trim”.

165: Longest your hair has ever been: 

Down to my butt. 

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? 

Dislike. I’m not going to talk about it here, but if you’re really curious you can dm me.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? 

Yes, because if we know where the universe and world came from, we can figure out where it’s headed. See the book Origins by Dan Brown.

168: Do you like to wear makeup? 

Not at all.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? 

I can barely stand on my feet for more than 30 seconds.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? 

Tried to.

Ok, this took me an hour and 45 minutes. I’m tired, I’m drunk, I’m going to regret this in the morning, I’m going to bed. Night y’all.

[skgway]

1824 Mar., Wed. 24

5

11 1/4

Stirred up the kitchen fire – called George etc. Gave Hotspur oatmeal and water wrote 1 1/2 page to M– [Mariana] to ask whether she would give 3 1/2 guineas for Miss Wickham’s spinning wheel (Antis’s patent – new selling at 5 guineas) – 

Took a very little milk and bread while I[sabella] N[orcliffe] sat a harty breakfast of coffee, and was off with her in the gig at 7 14 – Saw her luggage put on and in the Alexander coach –

Drove to the post office – Put in my letter to M– [Mariana] (Lawton Hall). Waited 2 or 3 minutes while I[sabella] N[orcliffe] – got out at Northgate and wished goodbye to my father and Marian. Drove her very near to Beggarinton, and the coach overtaking, then saw I[sabella] N[orcliffe] safely in it. 

Followed as far as Ambler Thorn Turnpike, then turned back – Called for a moment at Mr. Wiglesworth’s for a printed notice about stopping the footpaths (but none were printed) and got home at 9 1/2 – 

In returning (down Boothtown hill) Percey came down, George flew over his head, and sprained his knees – The horse, wanting shoeing. Sent George off with him to Blamine’s, and desired [him] to go to the leech woman and have 6 leeches set on his knees while the horse was shod – 

Sat down to breakfast at 9 3/4 – Not much said about poor Isabel, but we are to dine at two and relapse into our usual habits directly – I told Tib the other day when she talked of coming next year that my uncle was getting old etc. Liked his own hours, and she had better only come once in two years. She took it very [well], only saying how much more we could do as we liked in my father's house. She should always say so, and always like Northbridge. Poor soul she does not suit my uncle and aunt, but particularly to whom she has no idea of paying court enough, and who certainly does not much like her. Is frequently talking of the wine she takes, quantity of snuff, etc. 

I really did feel a little dullish last night thinking what a change there would be today, and that after all I should miss my companion a little. At last I said I was low and several times turned the conversation into this channel when we were alone. But poor Tib, as I even told her, had less sentiment than I had. She merely seemed to wish to get rid of the subject. Her feelings were never finely acute, now they are blunted a good deal and perhaps she likes the stimulus of novelty. Tho she looked grave last night at the thought of going. 

Just after getting into bed I wanted a kiss. She was tired and would have me go to sleep, but soon, as if she could not find it [in] her heart to deny [me], she turned round said she loved me and I had a pretty good kiss, tho shorter than usual. I believe she is tsill [still] fonder of me than anyone. She always says so, and I think, truly. 

But her feelings and faculties are the worse for wear. Her memory is worse. She tell[s] her stories much oftener over than she used to do, forgetting that she has told us the same, again and again. She is growing gradually larger. About an ounce of fire-shovel-burnt Irish black guard snuff and very near a bottle of sherry per day, with nine or ten hours bed, would feed anyone –

My uncle and aunt calculate she, repeatedly when nobody is in the room and they both have made a point of getting out of the way, drinks four or five glasses at luncheon. Three after dinner and as many after sup[p]er. Besides wine, or wine and water, just before tea that she regularly ordered George to get for her. All which I know she would deny to me. 

Tho she told me Marian had breakfast ready for her this morning, and wine, of which she had taken a glass. Which she must have swallowed almost at a draught, she was so quick. It is now too late for her to change. She will kiss [kill] herself in the end. 

It does no good to talk about it. Had she been different in these matters, how I could have loved her. Yes, how adored her, had she had that temper and conduct which temperance and her good sense might easily have secured. But alas, it has not been so. 

But yet, in spite of all, I feel a tenderness towards her I could not feel for such another, and could forgive in her what I could not in anyone else. But let me leave the subject, it makes my heart ache. I dare not hope she will improve, but may she be as happy as such a life can permit.

Had Isabel been but half she might have been, my affections never could have strayed to π [Mariana] or to any other. But no more. God bless thee, Tib. Our interests are separated forever, but still when I forget myself, I almost love thee. No, no. I do not love thee, but love thy happiness.

2 10/60 p.m. I have just finished so far as of this journal of today – They are cleaning my room, that I am sitting alone in the drawing room – Came here at 11 1/2 – My aunt with me ten minutes – Then in about 1 1/4 hour, I think, translated chapters 78, 79, 80,  81 libro ii Thucydides – 

I feel rather low – I must turn my mind into another train of thought – Tis just 2 1/4, I shall begin writing out the 4 above named chapters – From 2 20/60 to 4 50/60 wrote them out – Went out at 5 to the workmen. Jackman here but not either of his sons – Mark and the gardener here – They mended the cart road thro’ Bottomley’s field along the top of the plantation.

Did not come in till 6 5/60 – Washed, but had not time to dress – Sat down at 6 1/4 – Did nothing afterwards – Damp small rainy morning – Began to be fair and to clear up about 10, and afterwards a fine day with highish wind – 

Barometer 2 1/2 degrees above changeable, Fahrenheit 41º at 8 3/4 p.m. At which hour, came up to bed – Siding till 10 1/4 – E [three dots] O [no dots, marking discharge from venereal complaint] Behindhand 35 pages Anacharsis and not at all in Thucydides, having worked him up today –

[in margin] I[sabella] N[orcliffe] took with her, my three letters to Mrs. James D– [Dalton] and Marienne and Isabella D– [Dalton] – written on Sunday –

[whenwomenrefuse]

I have never told this story before.

I have never told this story before.

It was the summer of finishing school, I was 19 years old and had a five-month-long holiday inbetween finishing the final exams for school and starting uni in October. Me and my friends drove to the next bigger city with the train, to go out, almost every weekend. We went on concerts and metal parties, and sure, we also drank a bit (In Germany the legal drinking age is 16 for beer and 18 for liquor), but due to the expensiveness of the drinks, it was never more than two, maybe three longdrinks. This may sound like a lot, but the way they are mixed there’s usually barely any alcohol in them. Therefore drinking three of these will still let you be almost sober. Also, my body had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, and I’d really had have to drink heavily in order to get actually drunk. Additionally, I’d been having these exact two to three drinks every weekend for months, I knew exactly how many of them I could drink without an effect (1-2), I knew how many I’d need to drink to get slightly tipsy (3-4), and how much to get noticeably tipsy (5 and up). I was also used to taking a cab to the train station in the city (about 10 minutes), taking a 20-minute train ride and then a 10-minute walk home, in the village I lived in. I knew exactly at what point during the evening I’d have to stop drinking, to be sober when leaving for home. Since the parties only started at 10pm and the last train came at 1:30 am, I never stayed long enough to be actually wasted. What I’m trying to make clear is that while I was just 19 years old, I was used to alcohol, I was used to the locations where we partied, I had a close group of friends who travelled with me, I had self-imposed strict times when I left the party for home, and I knew exactly what I was drinking and how it would affect me. In short, I was partying and drinking responsibly.

Going out in a tight knit community such as the one we found ourselves in, due to our taste in music, it means you start to recognize the same faces in the venues you go to for concerts, for parties, for festivals, the people you stand in line with at the bar, are the people who organize the next show, who own the record label, who play in the bands. You start to know people and they start to know you. The older people look out for the younger ones, make sure they’re handling their drinks, make sure they know when to leave to catch their trains/buses etc. Girls and women have whatsapp chats dedicated to leaving the venue together, so that nobody has to go home alone. In short, I had a strong sense of familiarity and security with these people. Then that day came.

There was a concert, five bands from the wider region were coming to our city and playing a concert. The subgenres they played were pretty broad, and some of them were big enough to attract their own fans to the venue, people from further away and people who otherwise weren’t involved with the local scene. Needless to say it was incredibly full that night. The last band that played was one of our friends, so we had made plans with one of them, to spend the night in his flat, he had a big sofa and two camp beds, and his flatmate was out of town, so one of us could also spend the night in their room. At that point we knew him for months, and trusted him completely. And it wasn’t like we were only young girls in the group, we were mainly guys, and then me and two other girls. It was a 100% non-sexual sleeping arrangement, and everyone was aware of that. Before the show, we went to his flat to drop off our things for the night, and to help him transport his equipment over to the venue. Then the problems started.

You see, music scenes can be complicated, especially the underground scenes, and some subgenres and their fans don’t go well with each other. That night there was a mixture of a lot of different genres, which each had a mixture of people in the crowd. You had your leather jacket bruisers to whom music ended in the mid-80s, paired with super niche neo avantgarde experimental metal, just to name an example, and there were some tensions in the crowd. People were rowdier than usual, and some got ridiculously wasted. There had been some instances where security actually had something to do, prying drunkards from each other, before they could throw blows at the other’s face. I was still more or less new to the scene, having existed in the microcosmos of my home city for years, and never really gone out anywhere else. I wasn’t used to this in the way that I am now. I was uncomfortable, and I stopped drinking after my first drink. I quickly became aware of how sober I was, as everyone around me got increasingly wasted. One band from Dortmund got kicked out of backstage (sounds more prestige than it is – it’s just a backroom with a sofa) for “doing coke on my sofa”, as the owner put it. They riled up their posse and started having fights with the people who organized the show, culminating in the schedule being changed, so that they would play earlier than planned, just so they would leave as soon as possible. They didn’t like that at all, and you could hear the shouting from backstage inbetween songs.

In the end, I decided to leave early. I wrote in the whatsapp chat if any of the other girls wanted to head to the train station together, but nobody answered. I waited for an hour, but nobody wanted to leave. Then 1am came, and with that my last chance to take the train. I asked once more, but still nobody wanted to leave. Walking alone in that part of the city, where all of the concert halls and clubs were, on a weekend, was a really bad idea. People got mugged and worse, one of my friends was mugged that summer, so it was just a security measure not to travel alone. I stayed. I went to the bar and ordered my second drink of the evening. Hours had passed since the first drink, and there was no way this one could have made me as drunk as I became.

I remember waiting at the bar for a long time. But that was okay, it was full that evening and I had all the time in the world (the second-to-last band were just finishing up their show, the band of my friend hadn’t even set up their equipment yet, I’d be stuck at the venue for at least another hour). One of the friends of the band from Dortmund was there. He noticed a patch on my jacket, we talked about Blackthrash, he offered to buy me my drink. I tried to decline, telling him truthfully, that I was more interested in girls, but he insisted, saying he didn’t want to buy me a drink because he wanted to get laid, but just because he liked me. It was a nice gesture, I didn’t really believe him, but accepted the drink out of politeness. I saw my acquaintance at the bar pour me the same drink I had had so many times before, there was no way she was responsible for this. She gave the drinks to him, he paid for them, offered me my drink and toasted with me. Then he asked if I wanted to go to the outside part of the venue for a smoke. I said sure. I felt bad that he had just bought me a drink. The whole time I was so fixed on him, I was so sure he had bad intentions, he came with the rowdy band, he was one the ones that had been involved with the small fights earlier, he had the look of a typical bruiser, long ratty hair, 80’s mustache, crusty jeans vest, bruised knuckles, and he seemed to be a lot older than me, that I started being hyperaware of what he did, if he was trying to slip something in my drink or lead me to a lonely corner, that I let my guard down for anything else. He wasn’t the problem. My friend, at whose place I was staying the night was.

My friend saw me talk to the guy from Dortmund, he came over instantly and started talking about how he was about to play, that the crowd was getting so much bigger than before, how awful the previous band had been and that’s why he stayed sober during shows, because he just loves music so much. It was a horrible mess of ego running wild, geared at pushing the other guy’s buttons. He was amiable enough to ignore the jabs and just talk on. Sometime during the conversation I handed my drink to my friend, just to tie my shoe. During that moment, the guy from Dortmund had turned his back to us, to light a cigarette against the wind, and I was tying my shoe. It must have happened then. When I got my drink back from my friend, it didn’t take long. I was ridiculously wasted within a short amount of time. The guy from Dortmund was friendly enough and took care of me, giving me water to drink and keeping an eye on me, but eventually he had to leave with the band from Dortmund (who had been kicked out for punching the owner of the venue), to head home, so he found the only person he knew to look after me, my friend.

My friend was about to play, and he took me backstage, propped me up on the sofa and started groping me, that’s as much as I remember, then my memories fail. But the memory was all hazy, it was difficult to tell if I had just dreamed it, or if it had actually happened. The next time I woke up was after the gig, hours later. The other bandmates had already loaded their equipment into my friend’s car and left with a cab for home, the owner of the place was already announcing his place would close shortly (venues in Germany have to close at 5am). I woke up with a spinning head. My shirt was ripped at the neckline and I had love bites all on my neck and sternum. I felt horrible and didn’t remember the evening as clearly as I do now. I still thought the guy from Dortmund was responsible for this. Especially since my friend was being so caring and friendly with me, and telling me how he had seen that the guy from Dortmund had apparently taken advantage of me in my supposedly drunk state. He told me my friends had gone home when they read my message in the whatsapp chat, leaving me alone with him. I believed him without further thought. He was sober, he was the friend I trusted, the guy from Dortmund was a stranger who had showcased his violent tendencies in the fights before. I went with my friend, never second guessing.

Still drowsy from what I had thought was drink, I fell asleep during the car ride to his place, and I had difficulty walking straight, when we went up to his flat. Instead of leading me to the living room, where the sofas and field beds stood, he led me to his room, claiming to “take care of me”. Then he closed his room door and said “There now, we’re home. No need to be coy”. I didn’t understand what he meant, and tried to ask him about it, but all of my words were slurred and I was ashamed of seeming drunk. He just told me to go to sleep in his bed, that it was fine, that he’d take care of me. Then he joined me on his bed, running his fingers over my face. I told him “no”, but he didn’t stop. I told him “I don’t want this. Stop”, but he pulled my head into a kiss. I tried to shove him off the bed and then he hit me, wrestled himself on top of me and ripped up my shirt completely. I started crying and asked him to please stop, please don’t, please leave me alone. But everything I said made him angrier. He pushed me down, whenever I squirmed he choked me. So I stopped moving. He tugged and ripped my clothes from my body and stuffed my underwear in my mouth. Then he turned me around and tied my hands and neck to his bed. I tried to fight him off, but I couldn’t. I was hazy and exhausted and my body froze up in fear. I had never been beaten before. If I moved, I choked, if I tried to scream, I choked, if I cried too loud for his liking, I choked. And so I just… lay there. And endured it. All the time he grunted about how I had to stop being so coy, how he knew I wanted this, how I had baited him with the guy from Dortmund, how I was his wh*re, how long he had wanted to do this, how he deserved this and so on and so forth.

When it was over he lay down next to me and smiled at me, telling me how good I was in bed, and if I needed aftercare. He pretended that this had just been some bdsm roleplay, but it wasn’t. He let me lie there, tied to to his bedpost, gagged, bruised and naked, unable to move, to talk or to scream, while he berated me on how consensual what he did had just been. But it wasn’t. I knew it wasn’t. He said things like “Oh, you should have told me you’re new to bdsm, this was just roleplay”. But I knew that wasn’t true. And when he finally untied me, I ran and never looked back.

I know I should have gone to the police, but I was 19 and stupid and thought nobody would believe me. I live in a conservative town, and just the month before there had been a big court case, in which there had been video evidence of a woman being raped, and her abusers had framed it as a consensual bdsm scene, and had walked away from court without a sentence. I was sure my situation would turn out the same. And all of his rambling about had gotten to me. I started doubting myself. I started believing that it had actually just been a normal scene for him. And I was so ashamed of myself. I had broken all of the rules I had been taught. Never travel on your own, never leave your drink unattended, fight your assaulter with all the power you can muster. I stopped showing up at the local scene, until I eventually moved away, for fear of meeting him. When I moved town, I finally mustered the courage to go out again. And I want to explicitly say that what happened to me has nothing to do with the music scene involved. I have met so many nice and good-hearted people running shows and metal bars, I don’t want to scare you away from this type of music scene. I just need to tell my story.

It’s been years, but sometimes I wake up in the night, still drowsy from sleep, and for a heartbeat my mind brings me back to that place. I can’t have sex the way I used to, I’m always always reminded of that night. But I never told my partners. I never told my friends. I didn’t even tell my family. That one night is eating away at me, every day of my life. And I needed to get this story off my chest. If there is one thing I can tell you is please, do all of those things you thought was not necessary or overdoing it. Know your alcohol tolerance. Be aware of how many drinks you can drink to reach what stage of drunkenness. As soon as there’s a deviation – tell your trusted(!) friends. Even if you’re sure nobody spiked your drink, it may have just been someone you hadn’t had your attention on. Never travel alone at night, and if you’re in a travelling group, stick to that group, even if you’re told “Oh, they went home early”. Call them. Just to be sure. If my friends would have been in his flat, it wouldn’t have happened. If you don’t know someone well enough and have to spend the night at their place, don’t do it alone. Especially at a distant friend’s place. Meeting someone at parties and being alone with them is vastly different. No matter how safe you feel in the venue you’re going out, even if everybody knows each other and there are whatsapp groups dedicated to women for going home together, don’t get lulled into a false sense of security. Know the people you trust and stick to them. If you’ve wrote to them that you’re going home, but you return to the venue instead, let them know. And lastly, the one I’m the most upset about, that I didn’t do. If you wake up in a venue like mine, there’s going to be staff at the bar, organizers from the concert, security staff at the door, people who sale the tickets, people who clean the toilets, just any staff member. If your memory is hazy, don’t let the people you wake up to tell you what happened. Find someone from the staff, tell them you were drugged and assaulted and that you need to LEAVE. Most staff of nightclubs and concert halls will bring to to a safe staff-only room, call you a cab, and make sure you can leave without your assaulter noticing. If you have no place to go like I did, because the train doesn’t arrive til morning, go to the police. Even if you’ve had bad experiences with them before, go to the police and tell them what happened and that you have no place to go. If you think you’ve been drugged, you can opt to make a test there. Even if you haven’t been drugged, just made drunk, you can find shelter for the night there, or they will sometimes even bring you home, especially if you’re underage. Even if you get in trouble for breaking curfew, or underage drinking, it doesn’t matter. Those are things that will trouble you for about a month. What happened to me will eat away at my soul for the rest of my life. Whatever you do, find help as soon as you notice something is wrong. Don’t wait, don’t let people tell you what you need. Tell the staff, tell the police. Get out of there.

[firesidefantasy]

so last night i realised i had almost hit 500 posts on this account. and then i had the brilliant, genius idea to make a post with 500 facts about monster house for my 500th post.

this was not a genius idea in any way shape or form.

i am not a genius.

but i did it anyway, so now i present to you:

five-hundred-fucking-facts about monster house

enjoy. 

KENZI

1) Kenzi was abandoned as a baby 2) She was adopted by Monster House 3) She does not know when her birthday is 4) Her best friend growing up was Toby 5) Kenzi thought she was a vampire when she was a kid 6) She went around biting people’s necks for weeks 7) Kenzi loves photography, Instagram, and modelling 8) She has ran four marathons and six 10ks 9) She has been dying her hair since she was 14 10) Kenzi’s favourite chocolate brand is Cadbury’s 11) She loves cooking and hosting parties 12) She hates being human and wishes she was a monster too 13) She is almost fluent in French 14) Kenzi has no idea what she wants to be when she’s older 15) She never wants to leave Monster House 16) Kenzi is always chewing gum

HARLOW 17) Harlow dyes her hair black 18) She plays drums because her dad told her it was for boys 19) She plays basketball because her dad told her it was for boys 20) Her mum died three years ago and Harlow has never got over it 21) She lives with her dad, their relationship is recovering 22) Harlow won’t leave the house without a beanie 23) She loves video games like overwatch and call of duty 24) She is absolutely shit at video games 25) Doritos are her favourite snack 26) Harlow has lost count of how many cousins she has 27) If she could be any monster, she’d be a vampire 28) She’s in a college band called ‘4am’ 29) They’ve played three actual gigs so far 30) Harlow wants to be in a famous band 31) Harlow does NOT want to ever get a real job 32) She writes a lot of songs 33) Nobody will ever see these songs 34) She hates the beach 35) The only thing she hates more than the beach is spelling errors 36) She also hates vegetables and weather over 20 degrees C 37) She loves the sound of rain and thunder 38) She hoards TV boxsets and prefers them over Netflix 39) She loves antique stores and charity shops 40) She has an impressive vinyl collection

TOBY 41) Toby is bisexual but prefers guy 42) He’s known he was bisexual since discovering Tom Holland 43) His favourite superhero is Iron Man 44) Spider man is a close second 45) Toby wanted to be a superhero when he was a kid 46) Now he wants to be a super villain (#edgyteen) 47) He’s enrolled in school part time 48) Avoiding sunlight makes school difficult 49) The kids at school joke that he’s a vampire because of this 50) They don’t know why that’s so funny 51) He plays bass guitar but never lets anyone else listen 52) Except Matty. Sometimes he joins in with the ‘drums’ 53) Toby loves going to the skate park at night 54) He once wrote a 500 word essay on why the moon is better than the sun 55) He knows every constellation and loves stargazing 56) He loves sitting on his dad’s balcony and watching the stars 57) Toby doesn’t know who his mum is 58) Metal and rock music is his favourite 59) He chews on his finger to satisfy his desire to bite things 60) Sometimes he’s tempted to see if he could bite his finger off 61) He never has 62) Toby loves tomato ketchup 63) Immortality intimidates him 64) He only wears band tee shirts 65) He starts wearing beanies everywhere after meeting Harlow 66) Toby idolises Harlow 67) His favourite food is pancakes with chocolate sauce 68) Kenzi makes him pancakes to apologise after they fight 69) Toby buys her bars of chocolate to apologise 70) Kenzi and Toby bicker a lot 71) They are also best friends 72) Toby’s favourite period of history is the Roman emperors 73) Caligula was his favourite emperor 74) Toby almost turned Kenzi when they were 14 75) He despises pop music 76) Kenzi and Toby fight over nothing more often than pop music 77) Custard makes him want to throw up

KAI 78) Kai has six older sisters 79) He is one of two guys in the witches coven 80) He speaks French and Italian (almost) fluently 81) He volunteers at the local animal shelter 82) He does not get along with his family 83) Kai tries to fit in but he isn’t very good at it 84) He gets very upset if his hair doesn’t look right 85) He struggles with dysphoria but his parents won’t let him get T 86) Kai loves doing jigsaws and watching reality shows 87) He listens to music to drown out his parents arguments 88) His oldest sister Natalia is his favourite 89) She cut his hair and bought him guys clothes after he came out 90) Natalia plays board games with him and helps with homework 91) Kai loves baking - especially banana bread 92) He hates bananas but could eat banana bread all day 93) Being a witch is hard and he’s really really bad at it 94) Kai once turned a dining room chair into a frog 95) He also turned his mother’s earrings into a donkey 96) They never let him keep the animals 97) Pop music and indie rock are his favourites 98) Kai is scared of the dark 99) Science and maths make no sense to him 100) He plans on leaving the witches coven when he’s 18

PHILLIP 101) Philip is a history professor at Seabrooke University 102) He was born in 1893 under the reign of Queen Victoria 103) He campaigned with the suffragettes - and even broke a window once 104) He is a hardcore liberal and despises the conservative party 105) He attended the 1908 summer Olympics held in London 106) He once had a fling with a maid of George V’s 107) Phillip had entered a competition to be on the titanic 108) He was an engineer during world war 2 109) His nose was broken at a protest for women to be given degrees 110) Phillip has been married three times 111) The first died, the second left him for another man 112) The third was a Vegas marriage about 30 years prior 113) Phillip is straight - but he’s experimented extensively in the past 114) He does the newspaper crossword puzzle every morning 115) He bans TV until after 3pm 116) Phillip moved to Monster House in the 70’s 117) He despises the movie ‘Twilight’ above all else 118) He is the one who decided to adopt Kenzi 119) Phillip is essentially in charge of Monster House 120) He adores barbecues with his family 121) He hates Russia, incorrect grammar, and coffee

MATTY 122) Toby brought a stray dog in one day 123) The next morning, a toddler was asleep in their living room 124) Phillip decided to keep him 125) His hobbies include chewing people’s shoes and phone chargers 126) He has broken exactly seven bones 127) There is no soul clumsier than Matty 128) His face is full of freckles and his cheeks are always red 129) He runs everywhere 130) He wants to be a footballer or an astronaut when he’s older 131) Matty breaks Phillip’s morning TV ban so he can watch cartoons 132) His favourite game is fetch 133) Toby created a machine for him that throws a ball over and over 134) Matty hates it - he likes playing with an actual person 135) His wolf form is small, fluffy and a little too blonde 136) Phillip has been assured that he will get less blonde as he grows up 137) Toby once tried to enter him in a dog competition 138) They won £20 and bought the biggest ice creams they could 139) Matty loves porridge almost as much as he loves shoes and Toby 140) He has an imaginary friend called Boris who he blames for everything

CALLIE 141) Callie is half fae and half human 142) Her full name is Calypso, but everybody calls her Callie 143) She cannot tell lies, but is excellent at talking around the truth 144) She’s introverted and shy - but also amazing at public speaking 145) She wants to be a legal aid barrister 146) Her hair is naturally brown but she dyes it red 147) She plays acoustic guitar in 4am - the same band as Harlow 148) Her roommate is a werewolf but she doesn’t know about it yet 149) She has travelled to France and Italy 150) But she wants to travel the world 151) Her bedroom walls are covered in maps 152) She has an emergency supply of snacks in a room at all times 153) Her biggest dream is to have her own library room once day 154) With a secret bookshelf door, of course 155) Her lava lamp and beanbags are her prized possessions 156) She does not have a good relationship with her parents 157) She struggles with insomnia and rarely sleeps 158) Coffee is her one true love 159) She adores long car rides and she adores driving 160) She works part time at a coffee shop 161) Her car is her other prized possession 162) Callie can devour bags of skittles in an instant 163) She forgets everything in her personal life 164) And remembers everything in her academic life 165) She loves fire and will sit and stare at it for hours 166) Sometimes she goes to the local aquarium to study 167) Change is her worst enemy - everything needs to be consistent 168) She has been a straight A student all her life 169) She goes for a long walk every Saturday afternoon 170) Callie writes songs when she’s feeling bad

MILO 171) Hiding antlers in public is the bane of his existence 172) He is part of a group who want to tell humans about monsters 173) Milo does not particularly like humans 174) He has curly blonde hair that is usually a mess 175) One of his eyes is darker blue than the other 176) He loves blanket forts and fairy lights and hot chocolate 177) He has a part time job delivering pizzas 178) This means he gets a discount on pizzas, which he takes advantage of 179) Percy Jackson is the main reason he’s doing a classics degree 180) He enjoys writing fantasy books in his free time 181) He is reasonably fluent in Ancient Greek and Latin 182) ‘Out of Bounds’ signs are a welcoming invitation to Milo 183) He will explore everything and anything 184) Milo wants to travel to South America the most 185) He has two mums 186) They both adore Callie 187) He goes rock climbing in his free time 188) This is so he can climb trees, fences, and monuments better 189) He claims he’s climbed several mountains 190) Callie does not believe this claim 191) He was not raised in Seabrooke and had few monster friends as a kid 192) Milo is a nymph 193) His father is one of his mother’s best friends - also a nymph 194) His ‘father’ taught him to garden and to bake 195) Milo never called him dad - he was always Uncle Barney 196) He loves growing his own flowers 197) Nymph magic allows him to grow the most beautiful plants and flowers 198) It also allows him to bake exceptional cakes and cookies 199) He adores his younger brother and sister 200) He is double jointed and left handed

KENZI AND HARLOW 201) Making out is their favourite pastime 202) Harlow spends most of her free time at Monster House 203) They enjoy joking about how ‘platonic’ their relationship is 204) Kenzi loves cooking for Harlow 205) They spend a lot of time watching TV shows together 206) Stranger Things and Friends were their last binge-watches 207) Harlow is always invited round for Friday Board Game Night 208) Kenzi constantly steals Harlow’s clothes 209) Harlow loves playing with Kenzi’s hair 210) Harlow loves holding Kenzi’s hand 211) Harlow just loves touching Kenzi as much as possible 212) They both have a years pass to the local petting zoo 213) Kenzi goes to all of Harlow’s band gigs and basketball games 214) She wants to set up a cheer leading squad for the basketball team 215) Harlow just wants to see Kenzi in a cheerleader costume 216) Harlow asked Kenzi to be her girlfriend 217) Kenzi said I love you first 218) They’re planning on getting an apartment together after graduating 219) Also a dog 220) Harlow adores getting Kenzi to play (and fail at) video games 221) Kenzi is a massive flirt - Harlow does not appreciate it 222) Harlow once stabbed Kenzi on the hand whilst cooking together 223) Kenzi and Harlow do not cook together 224) They bicker a lot 225) But Harlow adores Kenzi more than anything else, and vice versa

TOBY AND KAI 226) Toby only got the guts to ask Kai out because his dad made him 227) They are polar opposites in just about every way 228) Toby didn’t know what being transgender meant before meeting Kai 229) Toby calls Kai ‘sunshine’ 230) Kai calls Toby ‘grumpy guts’ for the most part 231) They fall asleep on the phone together a lot 232) They also fall asleep in the same bed a lot 232) Kai’s parents do not like vampires so they don’t know about Toby 233) They met through the Monster House toddler group when they were kids 234) They both went to the Monster House study group as kids/teenagers 234) Nowadays, they ‘study’ in Toby’s room instead 235) Kai drove Toby mad up until very recently 236) It wasn’t exactly love at first site 237) Toby threw up on Kai - the hatred only grew from there 238) Over time, Toby developed a soft spot for Kai 239) Nowadays, Kai still drives him crazy, but in a good sorta way 240) They have every intention of moving in together after school ends 241) Kai has a drawer of clothes at Toby’s place 242) Toby has punched six people in defence of Kai 243) One was an eleven year old. He has no regrets 244) Toby frequently takes Kai stargazing 245) Toby also taught him how to skate 246) Kai speaks French to Toby and he loves it 247) Sometimes Kai takes Toby to volunteer at the animal shelter with him 248) Their biggest fights are over pop music and science 249) They plan on getting a turtle when they move in together 250) Kai loves sitting on Toby’s lap 251) He also loves stealing his sweaters 252) He also loves fixing his hair 253) He frequently picks flowers for Toby and spends hours arranging them 254) Kai also loves falling asleep on Toby 255) Toby kisses Kai’s cheek a lot 256) Toby adores Kai, but he rarely admits to it 257) He took Kai to a Troye Sivan concert in February 2019 258) Kai sends Toby selfies a lot throughout the day 259) Toby saves every single one to his phone - but won’t admit to it 260) Toby’s dad r e a l l y wants him to marry Kai

CALLIE AND MILO 261) They met when they were both searching an abandoned church 262) They thought the other was a ghost 263) For the longest time, Callie was ‘ghost girl’ in Milo’s phone 264) Their first date was in Starbucks 265) But they tell people it was back in that abandoned church 266) They are both too terrified to ever go back to that church 267) They have plants to travel the world together 268) Callie’s phone background is Milo and his messy bed head 269) Milo’s background is Callie in one of his sweaters 270) Callie hoards Milo’s sweaters 271) Milo practically lives at Callie’s apartment so he doesn’t mind 272) Callie only really sleeps when she’s with Milo 273) Milo likes playing with her hair while she reads out loud 274) The sound of her voice calms his anxiety 275) Callie frequently plays guitar and sings for Milo 276) He considers himself her number one fan 277) Callie likes listening to him ramble about history and classics 278) She often falls asleep while he talks - he never seems to notice 279) Callie drives Milo everywhere 280) Milo always makes the best road trip playlists and snacks 281) Milo’s mum’s adore Callie 282) They go for family dinner every other Sunday 283) They are going to Greece together over the summer holidays 284) Their opinions on monster politics differ wildly 285) Callie enjoys teaching Milo how to play guitar 286) Milo grows his own flowers to give Callie 287) He also enjoys cooking for her 288) Sometimes he brings her breakfast in bed 289) He usually gets a blowjob in exchange for this 290) They make a game out of fucking in as many places as they can 291) This has included: the grocery store, a church, the forest 292) Milo’s parents frequently bring up marriage 293) They’re both quite content with how things are 294) One day, they’d both like a small wedding in Europe somewhere 295) Zoos, petting farms, and aquariums are their favourite dates 296) Milo is basically Callie’s pillow 297) Callie writes songs for Milo 298) Her parents do not approve of her dating a Nymph 299) Callie’s roommates adore Milo and love that he basically lives there 300) They fight about how much wardrobe space Milo takes up frequently

BACKGROUND CHARACTERS 301) Callie’s roommate is a werewolf 302) She doesn’t know that Callie isn’t human and vice versa 303) Werewolf roommate (Arya)’s family is originally from India 304) Arya loves escape rooms 305) Callie loves petting Arya in wolf form 306) Milo is the only one who questions why there’s a wolf in the kitchen 307) But Milo still feeds Arya-in-wolf-form blueberry muffins 308) Bruce the Minotaur has lived in Monster House forever 309) Nobody really knows where or when Bruce came from 310) He has a very distinctive Greek accent 311) Bruce makes the best waffles 312) And he knits a damn good scarf and woolly socks 313) Which is incidentally what everybody gets for their birthday 314) Sheryl the Siren is like a crazy aunt to the kids in Monster House 315) She auditioned for X Factor once - she didn’t get in 316) Her vocal inspirations are beyonce and mariah carey 317) Sheryl is married to Mary-Anne the Mermaid 318) Mary-Anne lives in the coves behind Monster House 319) Sheryl loves singing for Mary-Anne 320) Maybe it’s the water-clogged ears, but Mary-Anne enjoys the singing 321) They had a beautiful beach wedding twelve years ago 322) Kenzi was a flower girl, Toby was a page boy 323) There is a ghost living in the attic of Monster House 324) It never seems to come out 325) Bruce sits outside the attic door each night to keep it company 326) Sometimes it likes to play drums with pots and pans 327) Nobody really has a name - it’s just ‘the ghost in the attic’ 328) They leave cookies for it at Christmas - they always get eaten 329) Sometimes Matty gets there first 330) Grace the Gorgon is an interior designer 331) She wears a veil-like head cover to hide the snake hair 332) Most humans just assume the head cover/snake hair is a new trend 333) Grace constantly redecorates Monster House 334) The house usually puts everything back overnight 335) Monster House does not like change 336) Grace is a wanted felon for the murder of a man named Perseus 337) Humans seem to be destined to forever walk past Monster House 338) Thus, Grace has never been caught 339) It is rumoured that she was once called Penelope 340) Nobody quite knows what Perseus did to warrant murder 341) Nobody quite trusts Grace with a knife, either

SEABROOKE 342) Seabrooke is a small, sleepy seaside town in southern England 343) It is the suburban hot spot for Monster life 344) Seabrooke has a population of 4,500 345) Around 250 of these are monsters 346) For some reason, Seabrooke has it’s own university 347) Nobody really knows why - it’s possible Phillip had a role in this 348) Seabrooke has two primary schools, a secondary, and a sixth form 349) It gets a lot of tourists during the summer 350) Everybody hates the tourists - especially Monsters

WITCHES COVEN 351) When Bruce the Minotaur gets sick - he can’t be taken to the doctors 352) The Witches Coven is the main place Monsters go when they’re sick 353) Witches are difficult creatures and the Coven are no different 354) If you get on their bad side, they’ll refuse you service 355) The Witches Coven therefore practically run the town 356) There are three families that make up the Coven 357) Admittance is only to witches with the blood of prestigious families 358) Kai is part of the Witches Coven 359) Kai’s family practically runs the Witches Coven 360) There is a lot of tension between the Witches and Phillip 361) Largely because they both have a lot of influence over Seabrooke 362) Regardless, Phillip still genuinely likes Kai 363) The Witches tend to be high maintenance and spoilt 364) The parents are like the worst white suburban soccer mums ever 365) Regardless, they are excellent at healing magic 366) But also excellent at ruining your life 367) They have definitely killed a few monsters - but it cannot be proved

LOCAL NEWSPAPER 368) The Daily Seabrooke is ran by shapeshifters 369) Nobody remembers when the TDS was started 370) Philip adores it for the crosswords 371) Apparently the crosswords are ‘out of this world’ 372) TDS is ran by a group of crazy looking students 373) Of course, they’re shapeshifters, so they’re probably all 1000+ 374) The shapeshifters behind TDS don’t mingle with other monsters 375) At least not as themselves 376) They report on human politics and news as well 377) Only monsters are sold the copies with monster news included 378) Half of TDS is gossip about the people in Seabrooke 379) Nobody is really safe from their snooping 380) Their methods include being a literal fly on the wall 381) Most breakups, Witches Coven drama, and Vamp/Wolf fights are put in 382) TDS is extremely controversial amongst Monsters in Seabrooke 383) Kenzi thinks it’s fucking hilarious

SEABROOKE UNIVERSITY 384) The University is crawling with monster life 385) Several professors are monsters 386) Most notably are Phillip and Steven 387) Phillip teaches Modern History 388) Steven teaches Medieval History 389) Phillip is a Vampire, Steven is a Werewolf 390) They have a competition for who gets History Professor Of The Year 391) This competition frequently gets out of hand 392) Everybody knows about their rivalry, few knows why 393) Nobody knows how long the two have worked there - most say forever 394) That wouldn’t be far from the truth 395) Steven happens to be Arya (Callie’s Roommate)’s father

MONSTER HOUSE 396) Monster House is practically alive 397) It constantly expands and shrinks 398) There are always exactly as many rooms as are necessary 399) Only the first floor can be seen by passersby 400) And they often walk straight past it 401) Ordering pizza is a nightmare 402) It’s like the human brain cannot comprehend where it is 403) Even though it’s in an incredibly obvious location 404) When they do see it, they see only a normal house 405) The construction of the house makes no sense 406) There are rooms hanging over nothing and stairs leading to nowhere 407) Sometimes bedrooms move and finding them is a nightmare 408) The living room and kitchen like to switch places 409) On Monday’s the kitchen is green and nobody knows why 410) It is black and white the rest of the time 411) It is almost impossible to paint or decorate Monster House 412) It prefers to do that itself 413) Somehow the bedrooms always look exactly how they are wanted 414) At least they save on paint - that shit is expensive 415) Unfortunately, Monster House doesn’t clean itself 416) Toby has registered several complaints about this

LULU 417) Lulu’s full name is Lucifer 418) It has been living in the basement since the beginning 419) It has only been seen by four people 420) Phillip and Kenzi are two of those 421) They call it Lulu because Kenzi couldn’t pronounce Lucifer as a kid 422) The nickname kinda stuck 423) Lulu gets fed raw fish every morning 424) They just dump a bucket full down the hatch in the kitchen 425) Sometimes Toby threatens to feed Matty to Lulu 426) This causes Matty to have nightmares and sleep in Toby’s bed 427) So that one kinda backfired on Toby 428) Nobody actually knows what kind of creature Lulu is

MISC. FACTS 429) Harlow’s favourite song is ‘Lights Down Low’ by Max 430) Seabrooke is not on any map - nobody knows why 431) I really regret this 432) Never ever try to write 500 facts it will not be fun 433) Callie’s favourite kind of law is criminal law 434) Particularly fatal offences 435) She also likes land law because she’s fucking weird 436) Kai got into reality TV because of his sisters 437) One of the arcades in Seabrooke is monster themed 438) Toby works there on Saturdays - always taking the night shifts 439) Kai really wants to own his own bakery one day 440) He tried to get the local bakery to hire him but he’s too young 441) Kai also wants to live in France or Italy 442) He also wants to be on reality shows and get a fake tan 443) (Okay. Toby is pretty sure he was joking about that) 444) Kai always has to wish on a lucky star 445) Milo wants to be a published author one day 446) Kai has tried to run away from home twice 447) His parents put a tracking spell on him and found him too fast 448) Toby wishes he could skate at the park with the other kids 449) But he also secretly likes that everyone finds him mysterious 450) Toby used to have a (massive) crush on Kenzi 451) Now they’re both pretty gay 452) Everyone is gay tbh 453) Monsters have no concept of heteronormativity 454) Kenzi’s favourite colour is pink 455) Callie’s favourite animal is an octopus 456) Kai has a picture of him and Toby stuck on his bedroom wall 457) Kai has had a crush on Toby since they were kids 458) Coming out as trans wrecked Kai’s relationship with his parents 459) It is seen as a disgrace for witches to have male sons 460) Men are submissive in witch culture 461) Kai’s parents frequently misname and misgender him 462) The kids at school are much more accepting 463) Kai came out when he was 14 464) Toby has actually been one of his biggest supporters 465) Natalia has been his main supporter as well 466) Toby likes Kai a lot more since he came out 467) Kai feels more real to him now - and irritates him less 468) Toby doesn’t know how long Kai has liked him for 469) Kai is pretty open about being trans 470) Seabrooke is quite accepting, even if his parents aren’t 471) Kenzi is terrified of being rejected by the monster community 472) She really wants Toby to turn her so she can be an actual monster 473) She wears contact lenses so her eyes look purple 474) She doesn’t really like school and puts the bare minimum effort in 475) Harlow is taking four a levels - a difficult thing to do 476) Fuck this was the worst idea 478) Harlow channels her anger out through drumming 479) It’s therapist mandated so her dad cannot stop her 480) Even though he very very much wants to 481) Harlow’s favourite video game is overwatch 482) Her mains are lucio, junk rat, bastion and rein 483) Harlow despises spelling and grammar errors 484) Matty likes stealing Toby’s tee shirts 485) Between Matty & Kai, Toby barely has any clothes left 486) Which is fine as far as Kai’s concerned 487) Matty is like a little brother to Kai 488) Originally, Callie & Arya were part of a polygamous relationship 489) I cut that out, though, because I couldn’t think of a third girl 490) Seabrooke tends to have mild weather 491) During the summer, the heat can spike to 25-30 C max 492) It rarely snows, but it does rain a lot, and there’s a lot of wind 493) Most of the houses in Seabrooke were built 100ish years ago 494) It has a train station - nobody knows why - it’s the last stop 495) There is a Seabrooke museum ran by a vampire and a Fae 496) There is a secret monster section in the back 497) Idle Town by Conan Gray reminds me of Seabrooke 498) As does This Town by Neil Horan (I think that’s the name idk) 499) Fuck you to @livvywrites for not stopping me 500) I am never doing this again

tag list: @livingthelovelylife, @commasinsidequotes, @4kidsopfan, @thatworldinverted, @livvywrites @ravenpuffwriter @the-writer-turned-procrastinor @livingthelovelylife  (ask to be added or removed more likely after this shit)

[my-life-with-migraine]

16 Facts About Migraines

Unless you suffer from migraines yourself, you may think that having a migraine means having a really bad headache. But debilitating head pain is only one part of the medical condition called migraine disorder. Other common symptoms are nausea, dizziness, fatigue, sensitivity to light and sound, and even temporary blindness. The symptoms and causes of migraine look different in different patients, and researchers are only now beginning to understand what the condition is and how to treat it. Here are some of the most enlightening facts we know about migraine disorder.

1. IT'S THE THIRD MOST COMMON DISEASE IN THE WORLD.

Even if you don’t suffer from migraine, chances are you know someone who does: The disorder affects 14.7 percent of the population, or one in seven people, around the world. In the U.S. alone, roughly 39 million people are affected by the condition. Chronic migraine(experiencing at least 15 headache days per month over a three-month period, with over half being migraines) is more rare, impacting about 2 percent of the world population.

2. WOMEN SUFFER MORE THAN MEN.

Of the one billion people on Earth who have migraine disorder, three-fourths are women. Medical experts suspect this has to do with the cyclical nature of female hormones. According to research presented earlier in 2018, NHE1, the protein that regulates the transfer of protons and sodium ions across cell membranes, is a crucial component of migraine headaches. NHE1 production likely fluctuates a lot more in women than in men. When scientists looked at the brains of lab rats, they found that NHE1 levels were lowest when estrogen was at its peak. In general, female rats also had four times the amount of NHE1 in their brains as males. If the same holds true for people, that could explain why women are not only more likely to suffer migraines in the first place, but why they experience them more frequently and more intensely, and have more difficulty responding to treatment.

3. MIGRAINE TRIGGERS VARY WIDELY.

For doctors and sufferers, migraine triggers can be a source of confusion. They vary from patient to patient and often come from unexpected sources that have no relation to each other. Stress, too much or too little sleep, dehydration, alcohol, and caffeine are some of the most commontriggers. Some people get migraines after eating specific foods, like cheese, and others are sensitive to changes in weather conditions like barometric pressure. Some people manage their migraines by pinpointing and avoiding triggers.

4. FOR SOME, AURAS ARE A WARNING THAT A MIGRAINE IS COMING.

Before the nausea, dizziness, and splitting head pain begin, auras warn some people that a migraine is on its way. Less than 25 percent [PDF] of migraine sufferers experience distorted senses, such as numbness or tingling in the hands or face, or blotches of light or darkness disrupting their vision. Auras usually occur 10 to 30 minutes before the migraine develops and last from five minutes to one hour.

5. SYMPTOMS CAN INCLUDE TEMPORARY BLINDNESS …

Unlike migraine with aura, retinal migraine is limited to one eye. Symptoms range from seeing twinkling stars to partial or complete loss of vision. The same eye is almost always affected, and the person typically regains their sight after 10 to 20 minutes.

6. … AND LOSS OF LIMB FUNCTION.

One of the rarest, and scariest, subtypes of migraine is hemiplegic migraine. People with this variant can experience weakness, numbness, tingling, or loss of motor function in parts of one half of their body, including their arm, leg, or face. Though sensations usually dissipate within 24 hours, they can last anywhere from one hour to several days. Sometimes they’re accompanied by typical migraine symptoms, such as head pain, but they can also occur on their own.

7. KIDS GET MIGRAINES TOO.

Migraine isn’t just a problem for adults—up to 10 percent of all school-aged kids are affected by the disorder, with reported cases coming from children as young as 18 months. According to the documentary Out of My Head (2018), migraine is the third most common reason for child emergency room visits. The symptoms of migraine in kids are similar to what’s seen in older patients: They may experience intense head pain, sick feelings, distorted vision, and sensitivity to sound and light. The major differences are that child migraines often develop suddenly and are shorter than they are in adults. In children, it’s not uncommon for the nausea and abdominal pain to feel worse than the actual headaches. Just as some sufferers don’t experience their first episodes until after puberty, some children with migraine grow out of it. According to one study, migraine symptoms disappeared completely in 23 percent of former child sufferers by age 25.

8. MIGRAINE MAY BE HEREDITARY.

For most people with migraine disorder, it runs in the family. Anywhere from 80 to 90 percent of migraine sufferers report having at least one family member who has it as well. If one parent has migraine, there’s a 50 percent chance their child will eventually have to live with migraine—and that risk shoots up to 75 percent when both parents have the condition.

9. MANY VETERANS RETURN HOME WITH MIGRAINES.

Genetics isn’t the only factor that contributes to someone’s chance of having migraine disorder. One study found that after a 12-month deployment in Iraq, 36 percent of veterans exhibited symptoms of migraine. The cause often stems from head or neck trauma sustained from explosions, falls, or other accidents during their service. While post-traumatic migraine goes away in most patients within a few months, in some cases it can develop into a chronic condition.

10. MIGRAINE IS LINKED TO THE "SECOND BRAIN" IN YOUR GUT.

In addition to the part of our nervous system that responds to outside stimuli, humans have an enteric nervous system: the part responsible for regulating digestion. Some medical experts believe that migraine is closely tied to this “second brain.” People with migraine are twice as likely to have IBS as people with tension headaches. Abdominal migraine, where the pain is concentrated in the stomach rather than the head, is one form the condition takes. It's most often seen in children, but it can affect adults as well.

11. DESPITE THE HIGH COST OF MIGRAINE DISORDER, RESEARCH IS UNDERFUNDED.

In 2017, the National Institutes of Health invested $22 million in migraine research. Asthma research received $286 million, breast cancer $689 million, and diabetes $1.1 billion.

12. THE DISORDER COSTS US UP TO $13 BILLION ANNUALLY.

Though migraine isn't life-threatening like these other conditions, it is widespread enough to have a negative impact on society as a whole. Workers with migraine often end up taking a lot of time off from their jobs, which can cost their employers. According to Out of My Head, it’s estimated that 113 million work days are missed annually due to migraine, adding up a to $13 billion loss.

13. MIGRAINE MAY HAVE INSPIRED PARTS OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND …

In the famous children’s book, Alice drinks a liquid that makes her grow many times her size and eats a cookie that shrinks her to tiny proportions. Migraine sufferers may recognize themselves in these passages. Possible symptoms of the disorder include micropsia and macropsia, or perceiving objects to be much smaller or larger than they really are. Some theorize that Alice in Wonderland author Lewis Carroll suffered migraines and wrote his experiences into his story. The book’s connection to migraine is so famous that today the related symptoms are commonly known as Alice in Wonderland Syndrome.

14. … AND PLAGUED A FOUNDING FATHER.

Another famous person from history who likely suffered from migraines was Thomas Jefferson. His symptoms could last for weeks and often appeared during stressful times in his life. There was even an episode that coincided with one of the most important nights of his political career. One night in June 1790, he invited Federalist Alexander Hamilton and Republican James Madison to his home for a dinner party in the hopes of getting his peers to agree on a location for the new U.S. capital. Despite dealing with lingering head pain from a migraine, he successfully brokered the compromise that landed the capital at its current spot on the Potomac River between Maryland and Virginia. In return, Madison agreed that he would not block Hamilton's plan for the federal government to take on state war debt, thus helping establish the young nation's credit.

15. MIGRAINE IS LINKED TO DEPRESSION.

In the U.S., up to 40 percent of people with migraine also have depression. Risk of anxiety, bipolar disorder, and panic disorder are also higher in migraine sufferers. Researchers are still figuring out the connections between mental illness and migraine. While the anticipation of painful symptoms can cause depression and anxiety in some people, experts believe that mental illness is often more than just an effect of living with migraine. The production of the brain chemical serotonin is involved in both migraine and depression. That’s why tricyclic antidepressants designed to increase serotonin levels are sometimes prescribed to treat migraine.

16. A NEW SHOT CAN TREAT MIGRAINE.

Many migraine therapies from the past few decades have been the result of trial and error. Medications designed to treat other conditions, such as antidepressants, epilepsy medicine, and botox, have all been prescribed to migraine sufferers, with mixed results. Earlier in 2018, the first-ever shot made to treat migraines specifically secured FDA approval. The shot, which blocks a peptide linked to migraine, is taken once a month and can improve symptoms or completely eliminate them in some cases. Before the new injection came along, the only other migraine-specific medications patients had to choose from were triptans, which stimulate the neurotransmitter serotonin. They can't prevent migraine, but they can help dampen symptoms by reducing inflammation and constricting blood flow. According to Out of My Head, triptans were first approved more than two decades ago—so new medication options are long overdue.

[mintiemarmalade]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG

Rules: Post a picture of your simself with your traits and answer the questions so your followers can get to know you better!

I was tagged by the lovely @surreysimmer, @racingllama​ + @storylegacysims​! Thank you so much bbs. ♡

I tag @pixeloasis​, @simsiecakes​ + @gottacatchemallsims​.

This has literally been sitting in my drafts halfway finished for the past week. Tbh I completely forgot about it until @storylegacysims​ tagged me this morning. 🙈

Anywhooo, this is my simself. I’ve given her the geek, goofball + foodie traits. (Truthfully, glutton would probably be more accurate but your simself is supposed to be a better, more ideal version of yourself, right?)

Questions below the cut ↴

1. What is your name?

Kayla

2. What is your nickname?

My family calls me Katy / Katy bug, for some reason.

3. Birthday?

June 17, 1994

4. What is your favorite book series?

Harry Potter, duh.

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

Yes

6. Who is your favorite author?

J.K. Rowling, duh.

7. What is your favorite radio station?

Octane, Pop2K, and PopRocks on Sirius XM.

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything?

Chocolate, banana, or pumpkin.

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

Lovely, wonderful, superb, idk all are viable options.

10. What is your current favorite song?

I honestly don’t even know.

11. What is your favorite word?

TUFT

12. What was the last song you listened to?

Misery Business by Paramore (I have my beloved throwback playlist playing.)

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

Boy Meets World - I firmly believe that the world would be a much better place if everyone had Mr. Feeny as a teacher.

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

Harry Potter or pretty much any Disney / Pixar movie.

15. Do you play video games?

Way too much, if I’m being honest.

16. What is your biggest fear?

Being alone, rejection, socializing, tight / crowded spaces, etc. I’m a big scaredy cat, okay. Leave me alone.

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion?

I’m hilarious. I’m incredibly caring and loyal.

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion?

My crippling anxiety.

9. Do you like cats or dogs better?

DOGS but cats are nice too.

20. What is your favorite season?

Fall - I sweat less and all the bugs die.

21. Are you in a relationship?

N O P E

22. What is something you miss from your childhood?

Innocence, being naive to how terrible the world actually is.

23. Who is your best friend?

Hannah ♡

24. What is your eye color?

Green

25. What is your hair color?

Auburn

26. Who is someone you love?

My dog

27. Who is someone you trust?

Hannah

28. Who is someone you think about often?

My sims

29. Are you currently excited about/for something?

CHRISTMAS

30. What is your biggest obsession?

The Sims, probably.

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child?

Boy Meets World

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

Aaron and Joe, I suppose.

33. Are you superstitious?

Nope

34. Do you have any unusual phobias?

Fun fact, butterflies cause me a lot of anxiety for some reason. Conveniently, I found this out while in a one of those butterfly sanctuaries at the zoo.

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

Behind. I’m quite literally the least photogenic person ever.

36. What is your favorite hobby?

Playing video games, eating, sleeping. Do those count?

37. What was the last book you read?

I... actually don’t know?

38. What was the last movie you watched?

Crimes of Grindelwald.....

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any?

I mean, not to brag or anything but I played the recorder in fourth grade~

40. What is your favorite animal?

SLOTHS

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

You can’t make me choose.

42. What superpower do you wish you had?

Teleportation

43. When and where do you feel most at peace?

When I’m with Hannah tbh.

44. What makes you smile?

Making other people smile / laugh.

45. What sports do you play, if any?

Sports hurt.

46. What is your favorite drink?

Sweet tea

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

I have no idea.

48. Are you afraid of heights?

My fear of heights is directly correlated with my probability of falling.

49. What is your biggest pet peeve?

People who are rude to food service / retail employees.

50. Have you ever been to a concert?

Yes

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian?

I could never.

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Teacher

53. What fictional world would you like to live in?

Stars Hollow

54. What is something you worry about?

Literally everything.

55. Are you scared of the dark?

Sometimes, it depends.

56. Do you like to sing?

Like to, yes. Am I any good? Not at all.

57. Have you ever skipped school?

Yes

58. What is your favorite place on the planet?

Wherever my friends are.

59. Where would you like to live?

I care less about where exactly and more about having the people I love near me.

60. Do you have any pets?

Yes, one doggo named Neville.

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

NIGHT OWL

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

Sunsets

63. Do you know how to drive?

Yes

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds - headphones make my ears feel claustrophobic.

65. Have you ever had braces?

Nope

66. What is your favorite genre of music?

Early to mid 2000′s punk~ I never outgrew my emo phase, sorry mom.

67. Who is your hero?

My mom

68. Do you read comic books?

No

69. What makes you the most angry?

Seeing those I love get hurt / taken advantage of.

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

I prefer the experience of a real book but I do appreciate the convenience of an electronic device.

71. What is your favorite subject in school?

Psychology

72. Do you have any siblings?

One brother + one sister

73. What was the last thing you bought?

Christmas presents!

74. How tall are you?

5′4

75. Can you cook?

I mean, I can follow a recipe sometimes.

76. What are three things that you love?

My mom, my friends, and my dog.

77. What are three things that you hate?

Tomatoes, socks, and loud noises.

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends?

Well, I guess more male friends, with a ratio of 2:1. (I only have three friends lol.) Unless we’re also counting internet friends, then the females far outnumber the males.

79. What is your sexual orientation?

Straight

80. Where do you currently live?

Southern Illinois

81. Who was the last person you texted?

Hannah

82. When was the last time you cried?

Probably yesterday over something stupid. I cry a lot lol.

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber?

Jenna Marbles

84. Do you like to take selfies?

Not really, no.

85. What is your favorite app?

DISCORD

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

Mom - decent. Dad - non-existent.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent?

All of them. Accents are so cute OMG.

88. What is a place that you've never been to, but you want to visit?

Japan

89. What is your favorite number?

2

90. Can you juggle?

Lol no.

91. Are you religious?

Yes

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting?

SPACE

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

Not at all

94. Are you allergic to anything?

Deathly allergic to sulfa - the doctors almost killed me when I was a baby.

95. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears?

Nope

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

This is complicated because I doubt myself a LOT but I’m also incredibly stubborn.

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach?

Beach

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

On the last day of my senior year, my history teacher left us with two words of advice before we departed: 1) never tattoo your face, and 2) don’t give your kids a stupid name. It still makes me laugh whenever I think about it.

100. Are you a good liar?

NO

101. What is your Hogwarts House?

HUFFLEPUFF ♡

102. Do you talk to yourself?

Pfft she and I have full-blown conversations sometimes~

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

More accurately, I would consider myself an ambivert.

104. Do you keep a journal/diary?

I’ve never been able to keep up with one.

105. Do you believe in second chances?

I do, and it kicks me in the ass more often than not.

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

Try to return it.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change?

Yes, but the person must be willing to change.

108. Are you ticklish?

Yes

109. Have you ever been on a plane?

Once, when I was five.

110. Do you have any piercings?

Nope

111. What fictional character do you wish was real?

CatDog, I have so many questions~

112. Do you have any tattoos?

No

113. What is the best decision that you've made in your life so far?

To love myself

114. Do you believe in karma?

I don’t know, maybe.

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts?

Glasses - I’ve never worn contacts.

116. Do you want children?

Eventually, yes...

117. Who is the smartest person you know?

Aaron’s a pretty smart dude, I suppose.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory?

My existence in and of itself is embarrassing tbh.

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

Many, many times. I stay up for 48+ hours sometimes~

120. What color are most of you clothes?

I own a lot of blue apparently.

121. Do you like adventures?

Yes, as long as they don’t involve any strenuous activity.

122. Have you ever been on TV?

Not that I know of.

123. How old are you?

24

124. What is your favorite movie quote?

I honestly don’t know.

125. Sweet or savory?

SAVORY

[rennarenofao3]

About the Author Tag Game

Rules of the Game: Answer these questions and tag 10 blogs you’d like to know better.

I was tagged by @nospringonions (Thanks for including me ^^.)

1. Nickname: I don’t really have one, but some members of my family occasionally call me Linds. (which is a shortened version of my name)

2. Zodiac: Libra

3. Height: Around 5′ 2″ (I’m not certain exactly how tall I am actually.)

4. Time: It’s 2:28pm now.

5. Favorite Band/ Artist: This is a tough one, I tend to more just have favorite songs from a lot of different artists. I like older music (60s to 80s music), One Republic is good too, I also like Avalon or Point of Grace for Christian music.

6. Song Stuck in My Head: I don’t have one right at the moment, but Eye of the Needle and Fire Meets Gasoline by Sia have both been stuck in my head a lot lately. (Thanks Sannan/ my Hakuoki fic which I’m not actively writing yet)

7. Last Movie I Saw: A Bug’s Life (my sister had us watch it while we were dying eggs a couple days ago)

8. Last Thing I Googled: Bath bombs and septic systems (someone gave me a bath bomb for Easter and I was trying to find out if it would be bad to use it.)

9. Other Blogs: No

10. Do I Get Asks?: I’ve only ever had one person send me any asks but I’d love to get more of them.

11. Why This Username?: Rennaren is the nickname of the first OC I ever came up with and wrote anything about, which Is why I picked it for my AO3 account, but when I got on Twitter/Tumblr the username was already taken so I added of AO3 to it.

12. Following: Mostly Psycho-Pass, D Gray-man, and Hakuoki blogs, plus a few random others.

13. Average Amount of Sleep: 7 hours is pretty much the minimum to function. But I usually manage 8 or more.

14. Lucky Number: 36

15. What am I Wearing: Blue t-shirt that says THE VILLE, Indiana and jeans

16. Dream Job: Author and Crafter,... so with my Etsy shop and my fanfic writing I’ve pretty much got the small scale version of that already. I just have to figure out how to get bigger. :)

17. Dream Trip: Japan, Europe, or anywhere in North America beyond the like five states I’ve been to.

18. Favorite Food: Pasta

19. Instruments I Play: None

20. Eye Color: Brown

21. Hair Color: Brown

22. Aesthetic: I guess I’d say my own unique style really. I’m not sure how to define it, apart from something that would reflect all my different interests.

23. Languages I Speak: I’m only fluent in English. But I know some words from Spanish, French, ASL, and Japanese and can recognize them in conversation, even though I’m lacking a grasp of the grammar that should go along with the language.

24. Most Iconic Song(s): Um I guess I should say Road Less Traveled by Lauren Alaina for this since I’ve kind of claimed it as my song, lol. xD 

25. Random Fact: (is there such a thing as too random?) I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue. 

Tagging 10 (?) People: 

No obligation, and please pardon me if you’ve already been tagged before. ^^

@shinsengumiscenarios @whatsyourcolor @tiffthenerd01 @psychosibyl ...Um I know that’s less than 10 but I’m not sure who else to tag so... ^^:

[sawyersscribbles]

Hell I would like every single headcanon for Reagan because i saw she'd just eat an entire thing of sour cream and now i'm just curious about this weird sour-cream-eating creature

sbhfnjkn she absolutely would and i’m gonna find a way to sneak that into the canon if it kills me. But Reagan is such a good choice, thanks for the ask! And sorry this took me a bit to get back, I’ve been thinking about this for days

1. Holiday headcanon

Reagan grew up in Colorado, so she feels really connected to forests and mountains, so she and her family always go on a Christmas hike up a mountain and decorate a wild tree for Christmas because they don’t really like cutting them down and feel like a plastic tree is too fake. that damn hippie Hart family

2. Cooking headcanon

Her favorite food is cream of corn which I ABSOLUTELY HATE because it’s all slimy and sweet and fjlnekrgaljkfn but whatever, she makes her own rules. Her preferred method of eating it is putting the can over the fire and drinking it like soup. What the literal hell. Why is she like this.

3. Sleeping headcanon

Reagan usually refuses to sleep because “the night is when all the fun shit happens” or something so her best friend Ingrid sometimes puts sleeping pills in her milkshakes so she can take a god damn nap which is honestly what I’d do if I was Ingrid

4. Driving headcanon

I think I’ve mentioned this once before, but Reagan has crashed a total of six cars in her lifetime. Three times it was her parents’ car, once was her own car that she and her mother fixed up, and then two other times after the invaders came and Reagan hijacked abandoned cars on the road

5. Bathing/showering headcanon

Reagan is definitely the type who says she hates showers and baths but the second she gets into one she’s like “mmmm srgjnlwergjk warm woter” and then won’t leave for hours. She loves the water BOILING hot though so be sure not to touch any metal in a building where Reagan’s showering

6. Hugging headcanon

Reagan loves to do that “bro hug” thing where you clap your hand into the other person’s and then bring it in kind of? Not to @ any voltron lovers (#sheith for the win btw) but this is what I mean:

7. Kissing headcanon

I’ve never written a character with more Top Energy™ in my life, so Reagan usually goes all out if she’s making out, as in she’ll wrap you up and hold you close and will throw as much passion at you as you’ll let her. She also has a thing for getting kissed behind the ear but she hates people knowing that o.o

8. Sex headcanon

As mentioned before, intense Top Energy™ over there. She also has a track record of spending… nights… with the daughters of authority figures because she has an Authority Problem so for example, after getting arrested for reckless driving, in retaliation Reagan had a fling with the daughter of the police chief who arrested her for about a month afterwards ;)

9. General physical contact headcanon

Reagan has this ability to make usually normal acts of physical contact really intimate. She doesn’t show affection as much through hand holding or hugging, but if you make a secret handshake with her, that’s how you know you’re on her good side

10. Physical appearance headcanon

Reagan has tan skin and dark eyes and starts the novel with long hair, but shaves it off at the beginning of the book (a way I measure time in SOS is noting how long Reagan’s hair is, since it represents the passing of time as it grows longer). Her body is also riddled with various scars from when she’s gotten into dirt bike accidents or got shot, and she’s very proud of each one

11. Wardrobe headcanon

Since she’s in the desert and also a lesbian, her main clothing of choice is a pair of cargo pants, some sort of tank top, usually gray or white, a flannel wrapped around her waist, and a snapback hat. Basically the sk8r boy look, even though she doesn’t know how to skateboard

12. Jewelery headcanon

She doesn’t wear a lot of jewelry but is often seen with botched piercing jobs like “haha I lit a safety pin over the fire and just had at it. Do you think it looks cool?”

13. Nickname headcanon

Reagan despises her name because her parents gave it to her after the American president, so she sometimes likes to go by “Ray”, but she still appreciates that it’s unique, so most people usually call her by her full name

14. Dancing headcanon

If I had my way, I’d totally put Reagan in an 80s AU where she’s a hip hop dncer. I feel like I can totally picture her spinning on the floor and jamming out to some intense base somewhere, so she definitely goes hard

15. Singing headcanon

While she isn’t that good at singing, Reagan is a mean karaoke participant. It might just be her flare for the dramatic, but she’ll climb on tables, use beer bottles as prop microphones, and do rock n’ roll slides if she’s really feeling the song

16. Anger headcanon

Her parents didn’t teach Reagan much as a teenager, but the one thing they instilled in her as a child was, “if you’re mad, take five minutes and walk away”. Whenever she’s frustrated, she would just close her eyes and breathe, and then find the nearest exit for a walk before she does something rash

17. Soft spot headcanon

The one constant in Reagan’s life for years has been her cat Ozzy, and she loves him more than she loves herself (which isn’t a super high bar). She doesn’t always hit it off well with people, so she’s found a lot of comfort in having Ozzy around and would be devastated if something happened to him

18. Favorite possession headcanon

This actually isn’t a headcanon, it’s just canon canon, because a little while ago I wrote a scene where we see Reagan’s most prized possession, which is a polaroid photo of her and her older brother on their last hike together before he went off to college with writing at the bottom that said, “We survived! See you soon, little sis :)”. Would you believe me if I said she never saw him again?

19. Favorite photograph headcanon

See above! :)

20. Relationship with/thoughts on Anais headcanon

I actually wanted to pick Anais for this because the more I think about the two of them as characters, the more I think they’re foils for each other. Reagan is brash and loves fun and partying and letting herself go and throwing herself in harm’s way for others, and isn’t afraid to speak her mind on what she thinks is right. Anais, on the other hand, is her opposite. She has a lot of things to say, a lot of which are good ideas, but usually keeps them close out of fear of rejection. She seeks comfort in close friends who she can deeply trusts, and actually doesn’t like Reagan at all at the beginning of the book, so their relationship as two members of a group traveling across the country together is something I’m really excited to explore

~

Thanks so much for this ask, Ellie!! This was so much fun to put together!

[totallylesbians]

1-99

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?Lately it’s been, in no particular order…-There’s Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes -Curious by Hayley Kiyoko -Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon-Fuck You by Sleeping With Sirens (pop goes punk cover)-Perfect by Ed Sheeran -Just the Girl by The Click Five (All but Hayley are on my drag list, which is what I’ve mostly been listening to…)

2. If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Probably Alycia Debnam-Carey, honestly

3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. Charlie bit Alex’s shoulder through her coat. “Just admit you love the…” line continues to “city in winter.” From KL Hughes’ The Art of Us

4. What do you think about most?I don’t even know, dude. My mind is so fucking random and scattered. It’s probably not good stuff if I really think about it.

5. What does your latest tattoo from someone else say?“Still”

6. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?I sleep with my boxer briefs on. That’s it though. Unless I’m on my period or sleeping with someone else or at someone else’s house.

7. What’s your strangest talent?I don’t know really. I can manipulate my voice a bit. It usually makes people laugh or be like “what the fuck?” I can bend backwards and make my feet touch my head too. So there’s that.

8. Girls…(finish the sentence); Boys…(finish the sentence). Girls…are strong and beautiful and need to realize they need someone to tell them that for it to be true. Boys…are strong and beautiful, too. Both need positivity and to be kinder to themselves and others.

9. Ever had a poem or a song written about you?No. My first girlfriend said she wrote a poem about me, but what she read me was actually what she wrote about her ex. That was kind of awkward.

10. When is the last time you played the air guitar?Earlier today. So like…3-4ish hours ago

11. Do you have any strange phobias?Not that I know of

12. Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?Not that that I can recall. Maybe chopsticks or a pencil when I was a kid but that’s about it. And I’m not even sure I did that.

13. What’s your religion?I don’t have one

14. If you’re outside what are you most likely doing? Walking. Or going for a run, if it’s nice out.

15. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?Behind it. Definitely.

16. Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?I’m going to have to go with Pvris. They saved my life. Other bands have too. But I have to say them.

17. What was the last lie you told?Probably “I’m okay.”

18. Do you believe in karma?Something like that, yes. For sure.

19. What does your URL mean?Essentially, that is blog is gay as fuck and contains anything lesbian related.

20. What’s your greatest weakness? Greatest strength?Weakness: stubbornness Strength: loyalty

21. Who is your celebrity crush?I have so many dude. Ryan Ashley, Eliza Taylor, Alycia Debnam-Carey, Kristen Stewart, Anna Kendrick, etc

22. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?Not that I know of

23. How do you vent your anger?Usually through violence and aggression. I yell. I scream. I throw things. I hit things. It’s the only thing that truly helps me. I can write and draw but it doesn’t help much at all.

24. Do you have a collection of anything? Movies. That’s the only thing that comes to mind.

25. Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither honestly. But if I had to choose…maybe talking on the phone.

26. Are you happy with the person you’ve become?No. But I hope to be someday.

27. What’s a sound you hate? Sound you love?Hate: high pitches like nails on a chalkboard and similar sounds Love: the sound of rain

28. What’s your biggest “what if?”What if I had been there when he died? What if I had gotten to say goodbye to him? Would I still be mourning him the way I do? Would it have made a difference in how/who I am now? I’ll never know. And it kills me.

29. Do you believe in ghosts? What about aliens?Yes to both. I’m not sure I’d call either of them that. But I definitely believe in both. I’ve had experiences that I can’t explain. And I find it hard to believe that out of the entire universe, we are on the only planet that has life.

30. Stick out your right arm, what’s the first thing you touch? Do the same to your left. Right: the arm of the couch. Left: the folded body pillow that we keep on the couch

31. Smell the air. What do you smell?The candle during. Lilacs.

32. What’s the worst place you’ve ever been to?The only place that comes to mind immediately was my ex’s mom’s house.

33. Choose: east coast or west coast?I’ve only ever been on the west coast

34. Most attractive singer of the opposite gender?I’m not sure exactly. But my favorite male singer would have to be M. Shadows from Avenged Sevenfold. I love his voice. He’s got nice tattoos and a great smile.

35. To you, what’s the meaning of life?I’m not sure I’ve found it yet

36. Define art. I don’t think I can. Art is subjective. Describing it depends on the piece. It depends on the person viewing the piece. I believe art is meant to make someone feel something though. It’s meant to express what the artist feels in some way. Whether it’s pain or beauty and anything and all in between.

37. Do you believe in luck?Something like that

38. What’s the weather like right now?Calm. Somewhat cloudy skies. Maybe a slight breeze.

39. What time is it?Currently, as I reach this question, 12:08am

40. Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Not legally, yet. But I have crashed. Just about everything I’ve ever rode/driven. At least once.

41. What was the last book you read?Published book: The Art of Us by KL Hughes

42. Do you like the smell of gasoline?Not really

43. Do you have any nicknames?Spiffy is my most popular one. A few call me Midget. And family members call me one too, but I’m not saying that one.

44. What was the last film you saw?I’m currently watching Salt. But the last one I watched through and through was The House

45. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Probably whatever happened to my wrist. Considering it still hurts over a year later

46. Have you ever caught a butterfly?No. But I remember raising one from a caterpillar in elementary school and releasing them as butterflies.

47. Do you have any obsessions right now?Not that I know of

48. What’s your sexuality?Gay/lesbian

49. Ever had a rumor spread about you?I’ve had quite a few spread about me. I think the ones that effected my life at the time the most was that I was pregnant or that I was trans.

50. Do you believe in magic?I’m not sure

51. Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Yes. Absolutely.

52. What’s your astrological sign?Taurus

53. Do you save money or spend it?A bit of both, but more so save it. I spend it on necessities for the most part and save the rest.

54. What’s the last thing you purchased?A smoothie, a lemonade, two bags of chips, and two boxes of donuts.

55. Love or lust?I’d rather have love

56. In a relationship?No

57. How many relationships have you had?4, technically. One only lasted like two weeks and was long distance so I don’t count it. One with a boy, 3 with girls.

58. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?Nope

59. Where were you yesterday?I know it’s technically past midnight but I haven’t slept yet so I’m going to say that it’s from the 9th. And I was at work.

60. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?Yes. My stuffed dog I’ve had for as long as I can remember

61. Are you wearing socks right now?No

62. What’s your favorite animal?Probably otters

63. What’s is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?I don’t know. I don’t think I have one. I don’t care if people like me or not.

64. Where is your best friend?Probably in bed at home. I don’t know.

65. Give me your top 5 blogs on tumblr.Some that come to mind are @eatmeoutnowbabe@ericajonorris@perksofbeingalesbian@yourgaydarisonpoint@youknow-me-not-my-story

66. What is your heritage?I’m Native American

67. What were you doing last night at 12am?Laying in bed

68. What do you think is Satan’s last name?Probably something cheesy and harmless sounding

69. Be honest. Have you ever gotten yourself off?Never

70. Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Kind of. To an extent

71. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?Save the dog. Fuck my boss. I can find a different job. That said, my actual boss, wouldn’t do that to me

72. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. A) do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? B) what do you do with your remaining days? C) would you be afraid?A. Maybe a few people, but not everyoneB. Live my life to the fullest that I canC. I don’t think so

73. You can only have one of these things: trust or love?I think this is a trick question. I think they go hand in hand a bit. But I choose trust over love.

74. What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?Not sure really. Maybe Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks. It reminds me of some good times in my childhood

75. What are the last 4 digits of your cell phone number?7260

76. In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Open communication. Trust. Honesty.

77. How can I win your heart?Can’t win what I don’t have

78. Can insanity bring more creativity?Maybe to an extent

79. What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Getting Dexter

80. What size shoes do you wear?Depends on the brand and style. But anywhere from 5-7

81. What do you want to be written on your tombstone?“I’m not easy to kill…fuck”

82. What is your favorite word?Fuck

83. Give me the first word that comes to your mind when you hear the word; heart?Less

84. What is a saying you say a lot?“It is what it is”

85. What’s the last song you listened to?Follow Me by Uncle Kracker

86. Basic question: what is your favorite color/colors?Black

87. What is your current desktop picture?I’ll reblog a picture of it. I posted it before

88. If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?My mom’s ex-boyfriend’s son

89. What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?I’m not sure, honestly

90. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find out you are surrounded by mummies. The mummies aren’t doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?Tell them to fuck off. Or kill them. Depends I guess

91. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with a superpower of your choice. What is that power?Transfiguration/shapeshifting

92. You can relive any point of time in your life. The timespan can only be a half hour, though. What half hour of your life would you like to experience again?Any time I had with my best friend before he died. I don’t care if it’s us playing. Or sleeping. I just want one more moment with him

93. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Nothing. My past has made me who I am. I am a product of all that I have been through. I may not like myself, but this is who I am. If something hadn’t happened, I may not be the me I am now. It’s up to me to change and become the person I want to be with everything that’s happened.

94. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Who will it be?Probably Lynn Gunn. Maybe Lauren Jauregui

95. You just got a free plane ticket to go anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you going to go?I don’t know specifics. Somewhere where no one knows my name or my story. Somewhere where I’m free to be whoever I want to be 96. Do you have any relatives in jail?Probably. I think my cousin is in prison. Looking at like 25 years I think.

97. Have you ever thrown up in a car?Not that I remember. But I heard that I did when I was black out drunk a few years back

98. Ever been on a plane?Yes. Quite a few times. But only for visits to two places.

99. Answered

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Saturday 15 June 1839

8 ½

2

rain in the night – dull morning F53 ½° inside and 51 ½° outside now at 9 ¼ and breakfast in about ¾ hour – had Booth – some bills to pay for which received from A- £6 and gave it to B- and gave him copy of letter to write to Cooksons’ brother – I wrote and sent by him about after 12 note to ‘Messrs. Parker and Adam solicitors Halifax’ enclosing Nelsons’ estimate of the terrace-walling – had Thomas Pearson and his brother George about the upper Dovehouse (Pump) farm – made no bid – if I was determined to have £80 there was an end – very well, said I, and wished him good morning and came away – all very civil but I would rather not have George P- unless I cannot mend myself – B- proposed my letting the land and sufficient building at £60, and taking the £20 worth of cottages to myself – I see no great objection to this? think about it – I would rather have Empsall or Joshua Lee than George Pearson as I observed to DB.  looking over linen from the wash, etc. at luncheon with A- till after 2 had struck then wrote the above of today – changed my pelisse and off to the bank (down the o.b.) at 4 for had stood talking to Robert Mann and then John Booth and then D. Booth in the Lodge road and at the Lodge above an hour – A- rode off to Cliff hill about 2 ½ and returned about 5 ½ - settle that DB. is to be paid 2 guineas per week from 1 January to 1 July and then to begin with after the rate of per annum £20 from A- and the same from me for looking after the estimate and £20 for the colliery = £60 per annum – values his time at 2 guineas per week or 7/. per day – will bring his son Joseph forward – he himself cannot take trowel in hand again – down the o.b. to the bank – gave Bank of England Huddersfield post bill no. 4435 for H- [watt] manager D. Marsden  in exchange for £45 in B. of E- fives, and five pounds in silver and £50 in their own   notes – this transaction taken no notice of by the bank – finding that if I drew a bill today payable  a month after date £463 to Mr. Gray the stamp would cost 5/. Mr. McK- proposed my drawing at 21 days – but said I the interest lost would then be more than the stamp – no! Be so good as look said I - the interest would be 6/. – well! then said I, I will let the matter alone, and write and tell Mr. Gray to draw on you on the 15th for the money – and I will add to the letter I gave you the other day that on the 15th July next you pay £463 and afterwards as directed above – i.e. 15th each succeeding January and July – McK- very civil – returned up the o.b. having merely reminded McK- that nobody had any right to draw out, but they might put in what they pleased – home about 5 – stood talking to Robert Mann – he paid me for 12 loads coal carting to his own house Charlestown and to a neighbours’ in the new bank at two pence = 4/. but other people having 3d. per load I am in future to have the same – came in with DB. – paid him sundry small bills and larger bill for A- = £32.8.10 which I took out of the hundred pounds post bill – then with A- till dinner at 7 ¼ having 1st gone into the cellar for 1 A-‘s old port and 1 Malmsey Madeira – after dinner pothered about the loss of Tiny who had not returned with me from H-x – we had given her up for lost when she came back about (before) 9 – wrote all but the 1st 13 lines of today till now 9 ½ A- sleeping on the bed by me in the blue room – then went downstairs and made coffee and had 2 cups, and slumbered on the sofa – came upstairs again (A- still asleep) about 10 ¼ - then busy looking over one thing or other till one struck A- still asleep tho’ she had got up for a minute or 2 about 11 – F54 ½° inside and 48 ½° outside now at one am one tonight – fine day -

[farfromdaylight]

OKAY HERE WE GO, THE STAT POST TO END ALL STAT POSTS

first and most important: what the everliving fuck, i wrote a million words in a year. if you told me this time last year that this was what i was going to aspire to, i would have assumed it was an april fool's joke. like. lmao you're kidding right.

end total was 1,000,111! i had wanted a million and one words but when i calcuated my numbers i had, uh, a million and thirty. :"| so i had to write some 80 words in the like 10 minutes i had left. way to go, me.

october is highlighted for a very important reason: it's the month i switched to colemak. the fact that my wph/wpm has only improved since that time is a pretty strong vote in its favor, i think. i do still experience hand pain, but i think that has more to do with the fact that i write for two hours a day than the keyboard layout. certainly it's nice to have a more ergonomic design. (most of my current pain is actually from my mouse location; working on fixing that issue next.)

more highlights & tl;dr under the cut bc heaven knows this is going to get obnoxiously long

firstly, a project breakdown -- what is that million words made of?

immortal au -- 813,127 words (unintentional but delightful)

everybody says this is your home -- 166,680 words

roughly 20k of cuts, snippets, drabbles, etc

so, not surprising; heaven knows i only worked on two real stories in the past year. this is something i want to change over this next year, though i'm not yet sure what those stories will be.

highs & lows

most words written in a single day: 11,181 (11/1)

most time spent writing in a single day: 8 hours, 20 minutes (11/1) (start of nano, also i was going on vacation that weekend and wanted a buffer)

least words written/day: 80 (9/24)

least time spent/day: 5 minutes (9/24) (i had had zero sleep)

best words per hour/minute: 2159/36 (2/26) (i wrote 203 words in 4 minutes and nearly lost it, because i am That Kind Of Person)

worst words per hour/minute: 599/10 (10/1) (first day of colemak; i didn't even write 600 words in the hour i spent writing)

most time spent writing/month: 107 hours, 16 minutes (november) (duh)

least time spent writing/month: 39 hours (may) (ah yes, back when i was aiming for a thousand words a day... that didn't last long...)

other stats

on average, i write for about 57 hours, 40 minutes per month. no wonder i haven't been able to play many video games lately -- writing took up that timeslot.

that said, i only spent 8% of the past year writing. 691 hours sounds like a ton of time, but it averages out to 2 hours a day. given that i spend 8 hours a day sleeping (...give or take), 2 hours is really not that much of a loss. though as i mentioned in the other post, 1 hour of writing often equates to two hours of real time. even then, 16% of a year/1400 hours is really not that much time in the grand scheme of things.

i have made roughly 500 posts about writing on here in the past year, for which i apologize. the number's rough because there are a few more posts than that on dw but i don't feel like sorting through it at the moment to figure out the exact number. either way: i am so, so sorry. how have you all not unfollowed me. i do not understand.

quartiles

i calculated the quartiles for words/time/wph, and i find them pretty interesting:

words

first quartile (25%): 1,355

second quartile (50%): 2,239

third quartile (75%): 3,555

time

first quartile (25%): 1 hour, 3 minutes

second quartile (50%): 1 hour, 27 minutes

third quartile (75%): 2 hours, 30 minutes

words per hour (wpm)

first quartile (25%): 1,214 (20)

second quartile (50%): 1,407 (23)

third quartile (75%): 1,619 (27)

the reason i find them interesting is that they don't match up at all! you'd think that since the wph is calculated from words over time they'd even out, but apparently not. despite all evidence to the contrary i'm actually not great at statistics, so i'm not sure what conclusion to draw, but my guess is that it has to do with the fact that my wph did something of a bell curve over the past 12 months. but who knows.

(incidentally i do want to turn all these numbers into Pretty Charts, but i... have not figured out that part of google sheets yet, lmao. i'm sure i'll figure it out eventually. so far all i have managed are a bunch of squiggles. they are pretty squiggles but they are squiggles nonetheless.)

etc

so one of my overall goals for 2018 was to write a million words in 2018 specifically (ie starting jan 1--ending dec 31), and i'm not sure if i still want to go for it. on the one hand, i'm about 50,000 words ahead of pace, and like, that's a terrible buffer to lose. i am also Very Bad at giving up goals.

on the other hand...... the reason i am ahead is because i noticed in january that i was really close to writing a million words in 365 days. i tried to tell myself that i wasn't going to aim for it because of how burnt out i was, but. 😐 we can see how well that worked out. 😐

the thing is, though, i am tired. i am unbelievably tired. that chart says that i averaged 2 hours of writing a day in march, and as far as math in concerned, that's true. in actual fact, though, i averaged 1h30m of writing from 3/1 through 3/24, and four hours a day for the past week. i'm fucking exhausted. and it's exactly what i did in february, and in january. i can't do a whole year of that.

so. i am going to aim for 50,000 words next month, because it's camp nano and because 50k is, at this point, a very achievable number. (i mean for god's sake, i just did it in a week. i can do it in a month. in fact i would love to do it in a month.) and i am going to use the rest of that time to work on the worldbuilding, planning, and plotting i have pushed aside for the past five months in pursuit of ever-growing wordcounts.

that's april. the rest i can figure out later.

[punk-rock-pixie]

1-85

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I mean, I won’t lie and say it gives some personal points, but like I won’t date you if you’re a douche, no matter if you look good or not. 

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

I mean, you don’t NEED to be in one, but it is nice to have someone care for you

3. Are you a virgin?

yup

4. Are you in a relationship?

I am yes

5. Are you in love?

I think?

6. Are you single this year?

Well for like the first month I was

7. Can you commit to one person?

Yeah. Even if I’m polyamorous, I won’t act on it if they’re not cool with it

8. Describe your crush

They love birds and also is a witch. We love a lotta the same stuff.

9. Describe your perfect mate

A storyteller, share at least a few interests. Someone I could talk non-stop to or just become a total tree stump. They understand to a good extent how I work and put the same effort in that I do. On the superficial side, I’m partial to the more butch/masc presenting people and possibly taller. 

That being said the person I am dating is actually a few inches shorter than me lmao

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not really, but I feel like there can be a connection, but love takes time.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

I dunno. I haven’t given it much thought.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

Depends on the extent????

13. Do you get jealous easily?

I’m kinda jealous, but idk

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

I mean,,,,, yeah???

15. Do you have any piercings?

Just my ears

16. Do you have any tattoos?

Nope

17. Do you like kissing in public?

Only like small pecks. I’m not much on PDA more than like hugging or hand-holding

20. Do you shower every day?

every other day

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

I should hope they do????

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Maybe

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I mean, duh?

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

No

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

I’m happy with it yeah.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Not that I know of???

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

YUP. THEY MANAGED 5 PEOPLE IN THE ONE MONTH OF DATING

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

I wanna make myself look more masc

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Oh yeah. I’m not someone to cry a lot but like?? I’ve had my days

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

mhm

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

HHHH

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

BUDDY

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Most people I’ve kissed are older than me

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yup. Ended poorly

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yup

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yeah. 

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yeah

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

No

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Didn’t I say I was a virgin literally in the first few questions

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Depends on the mood I guess

43. How long was your longest relationship?

6 months and they left me for someone else

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

6???

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

I didn’t have my first kiss until 2014

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

BOI

47. How old are you?

Old enough to have chronic back pain and complain about technology apparently.

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I mean I’m sad, but like…. I’m not gonna try to manipulate them?

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

They understand my emotions and are wildly compassionate. NOT TO MENTION HOW TALENTED THEY ARE AT MAKEUP AND UKULELE?

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

Maybe, but I wouldn’t really let them back into my life?

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

I don’t think I’d do EVERYTHING for someone, but there is someone I’d do a lot for. 

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Some friends I dropped recently. We brought out the worst in one another, and I felt like it was time to leave and try to put more energy into other people. I don’t think the friendship was a waste of time at all. We just grew into very different people and did more fighting than being friends, and I wasn’t gonna stay in a friendship like that. 

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

So far they haven’t voiced it so??? I don’t think so?

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Absolutely

55. Share a relationship story.

We were in a long distance thing a few years back. We started off as friends and I realized I had feelings, but we waited until the con we met at to make things official. As I was leaving he asked if he could write something about me and he wrote a full 8 pages. Additionally, at our next con, I was super sick (we didn’t know until later I had mono) and almost fainted. He stayed with me the whole time, and, even though I told him it was possible I had mono, he risked it and still kissed me. 

I don’t blame him for not having feelings for me after that. I think we rushed in and were caught up in the obsession, which lasts about 4 months. I was sure of my emotions, and he wasn’t. It’s ok. We knew what we were getting ourselves into to an extent. We’re still distant friends, I think? No hard feelings.

56. State 8 facts about your body

1. I hate it

2. It manages to put away food like it is no one’s business

3. I can wiggle my ears

4. I am very lactose intolerant and get bad stomach aches, but don’t care

5. I can crack my wrist on command

6. Somehow I can get 3 hours of sleep and still function

7. He a tired man

8. My hair and nails grow fucking fast

57. Things you want to say to an ex

Wherever you are, hope you’re doin okay. Sorry things didn’t work out

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1. Common grounds of interests/morals

2. Be ok with my mood swings and fickleness when it comes to affection

3. Being a storyteller. I love creativity so much?

4. Passion. Someone who is passionate about something (IE hobbies, special interests, etc) is just??? really attractive????

5. I have a thing for people taller than me? Idk

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Check my “pixie pics” tag (and maybe like or reblog lmaooo)

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

a year and a half???

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Usually eyes and their hair

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Being creative and make a project like inspired by me I guess? Idk. Do something unusual. Of course, I am all for cliche, but like being unusual is really cool.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Consensual stimulation of sex organs? Idk

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Being with someone without you’re partner’s/partners’ knowledge and consent

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

WHat?

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

Fuckin long-ass paragraphs STORYTELLING

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Like I said, I love the cliche. Take me to a museum or the park, but even like staying home (If we’ve been seeing one another for a while) and hanging out is cool too. If it’s a first date, something where we can get to talk and know one another

68. What is your sexual orientation?

Probably on the ace spectrum. As for romantic pref?? FLUID AS FUUUUCK

69. What turns you off?

Being rude???

70. What turns you on?

CREATIVITY MAN. IT IS GREAT

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Fuckin???? I don’t remember my dreams sometimes. Most of them are pretty tame

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

BUDDY NEVER HAD SEX

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Writing a poem or song is super cute??? Or like when I’m feeling as depressed as I am now, just showing up to my house and kidnapping me for a bit for like a trip to the beach? (Shoutout to my friend Cici who has been a big help all weekend and did just that today??)

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Being taller than me and also eye color/hair idk. 

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Refer to 73 where my friend Cici came to my house today WITH ROSES AND FOOD and drove me to the beach and treated me to a few hours of escapism and dinner. She’s a real one. She as well as my sister and my s/o have been helping me through this terrible month. 

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I stayed up all night with someone to help them through a tough time

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

If you’re under 18 be careful. If you’re over 18 as two consenting adults, you’re pretty much fine. If you’re a pedophile, fuck right off, mate.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I think I literally ate dirt as a child???

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

A lotta my friends are getting signed on for top surgery and possible HRT, and like, I am very happy for them, and also I feel like garbage because this is something I’ve wanted for YEARS

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

I told my sister today

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Pj Liguori, Ethan Nestor, Chris Evans, Hugh Jackman, and Amy Nelson

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

My sister

83. Who was your first kiss with?

Someone I was friends with a while ago at my first Fanime. My first real kiss was with my ex girlfriend

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

He sexually harassed his other boyfriend (I was friends with this other guy and we almost saw one another after we broke up with our ex fun fact)

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

Yeah probably