#written in one go because i thought it would be funny

[ladykailitha]

Share With Me One Love, One Lifetime Part 1

Here we go. The final story in the Boy with a Bat trilogy. It's certainly come a long way from when I first started writing for this fandom. Two years ago on this day, I put out Can Anybody See Me? because there was serious lack of season 2 AUs were Hellfire had taken Steve under their wing. And then it grew from one story into two with Never Hold Back Your Step... and I promised I would get Steddie all the way through season 4 to come out alive on the other side.

The goal is to get all the story out before season 5 premiers. So far of what I've written, we're about 2/3 of the way through season 4. We'll get to the end and then we'll have a short epilogue.

Thank you to everyone who cheered me on to complete this trilogy. But especially @bookworm0690, @kultiras, and @dreamercec.

The title like the previous two stories before it (here and here) comes from a musical. In this case, The Phantom of the Opera. RIP Eddie. You would have loved that musical.

In this we have our boys caught between a rock and hard place, Steve watches Lucas's game, and Eddie gets into some trouble.

~

Steve was going to murder someone. He just hadn’t decided on who yet. Though at the moment it was starting to look like Lucas.

“And you’re sure you can’t move it to another night?” he asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah,” Eddie murmured. “Mike leaves for California in the morning and most of the other guys have plans too. Then once spring break comes back...”

“You can’t use the drama room because the play is starting up,” Steve finished for him. “Shit. And I can’t have it here. My mom somehow found out about the movie nights and threatened to have my dad kick me out if it happened again.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, nervously chewing on his lip. “And you know I’m gonna want to support Lucas.”

Eddie let out a long sigh. “Yeah I know. Dustin told me. I just wish Lucas had come to me instead of the flying monkeys you know?”

“Me too,” Steve said, closing his eyes. “He just got in with the boys on the basketball team and I’m worried he’s going to alienate himself from his friends if he continues to hang out with them.”

“I’m worried about that too,” Eddie huffed. “And my speech was aimed at Carver by the way. In the heat of the moment I had forgotten Lucas was on it. Got reminded afterwards though.”

Steve opened his eyes and let out answering sigh. The little bell above the door twinkled, heralding the arrival of customers. “Look, I’ve got to go, I have to actually work.”

“Booo,” Eddie hissed. “I’ve got that deal with Chrissy after the game, so I’ll be by after that, okay?”

“Okay, Eds,” Steve said. “Be safe.”

“Yup!”

Steve hung up the phone with another sigh. He straightened up and put on his best customer service smile. “Welcome to Family Video, how can I help you today?”

The rest of the day flew by in a flash and too soon he was picking up Brenda for the game. She had come into the store earlier and was talking about how she really wanted to go to the game because her brother was on the team but her parents didn’t want to go.

So Steve offered to take her. He was pretty sure she thought it was a date, but Steve kept trying to steer here away from that sort of talk. He’s not sure he succeeded.

~

“It’d be funny if we won the championship game the year after you graduated,” Brenda said with a smile.

Oh hell no.

“I wasn’t on the team my senior year,” he said with a bitchy expression. “You would know that if you actually watched us play. I was out with a concussion.”

Brenda smirked. “You know what I mean. I just mean that you were King Steve, we didn’t win the championship once.”

“Yes,” Steve cocking his head forward, “but I’m the one that got us to the championship my junior year. I sunk that last shot with nothing but net that got us into the final game. The other team was better. You can still do everything right and have the other team just be better.”

Then it looked they were going to lose, so they let Lucas play. After all what was the harm of letting him play for the last minute of the game.

And then a miracle happened.

Lucas was at the three-point line and he let go of the ball just as the buzzer went off. Steve rose to his feet as the shot sailed into the air and hit the basket dead on.

Lucas had won the championship game for the Tigers.

Steve was jumping up and down and just screaming. “Yes! Yes! Yes!!!”

~

After the players came back out from the locker rooms, Steve put his arm around Lucas.

“Looks like our hard work paid off,” he said with a teasing grin.

Lucas rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Steve.”

Steve gave him a tight one-armed hug and then whispered in his ear, “If you feel uncomfortable for any reason, just give me a call and I’ll be there in a heartbeat. And don’t let anyone pressure you into something you don’t want to, okay?”

Lucas nodded and then hurried to catch up to Jason and his friends.

Steve shook his head and turned to Brenda. “Hey do you need me to take you home?”

She shook her head. “My brother is going to drop me off before heading the celebration.”

“You got it,” Steve said with a thumbs up. He stopped for a moment. “Which one did you say was your brother again?”

“I didn’t,” Brenda sneered. It’s Andy Snyder, number forty-three.”

Dread pooled in Steve stomach. Andy was the new Tommy H. A bully and a brute, on and off the court.

“He played good tonight,” he said with a fake smile smile firmly in place.

Her returning smile was even less sincere and she walked away. Steve put his hands on his hips and looked up, pressing him lips together.

He was now certain she thought they were on a date, but with Steve paying more attention to Robin then her and rooting for Lucas without even asking who her brother was... yeah. According to her the date was a failure, according to Steve, he dodged that fucking bullet.

~

Steve had barely kicked off his shoes when the walkie talkie he kept next to the door crackled to life.

“Code Red!” Eddie hissed. “I have a fucking Code Red! Is anyone there? Please god, please!”

Steve was on the line faster then from one breath to the next. “Eddie, this is Steve. Repeat, this is Steve. What’s your status?”

“Chrissy is dead, man,” Eddie whined. “She–she rose up into the air, like a puppet on a string and oh god!”

“Shit, shit, shit!” he cursed. “You’ve got to get out of there, now! Stash the van and run for Rick’s. After the game there are going to be too many eyes on my place. You keep your head down, you hear?”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathed. “Yeah. Oh god, it was so bad, Stevie. Why her? She was so nice to me. Why her?”

“We’ll find out,” Steve breathed. “I just don’t know who would be around right now. Everyone is out scattered because of the game, Nancy and Mike are getting ready to take him to the airport for him to fly out to California and everyone is out celebrating the win.”

“What about Dustin?” Eddie murmured. He hated bringing a kid into this, but if that was who they had...”

“I don’t know where he is,” Steve said chewing on his thumb nail. He should have picked up before he did.

“Shit!”

Steve let out a shuddering breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve got work tomorrow, but as soon as I can, I’ll bring you clothes and food enough for you hide out there, okay?”

He had a lot of Eddie’s clothes over at his place, it wouldn’t be hard for him to pack a bag.

“Yeah, okay,” Eddie sighed. “You’ve got a handle on this. Just don’t forget about me, okay?”

“I’d never.”

~

“Hey,” Robin said after Steve pretty much blew up at a customer for not know if her boyfriend liked scary movies or not. “Are you okay?”

Steve grimaced. He had tried to get people on the walkies this morning but he couldn’t get anyone on the line and he didn’t have a chance to talk to Robin, because she had been running full steam about Vickie all morning.

But before he could even open his mouth to answer Dustin came storming in, with Max hot on his heels. “Turn on the news now!”

Robin turned over to the news and sure enough the breaking news was of a girl being murdered at the Forest Hills Trailer Park and the investigation was ongoing.

“That’s Eddie’s trailer!” Dustin cried.

“I saw Chrissy go into his trailer last night,” Max admitted, “and then he came running out screaming.”

“Why you didn’t get anyone on the walkies?” Steve growled. “That would have been great to know last night!”

“My mom sold them for more booze,” she snapped back.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily.

“We need to find him!” Dustin insisted. “He’s innocent! There is no way he did this! He couldn’t have!”

“Whoa!” Steve said sternly. “You think I don’t know that? I’m the one who introduced him to you do you forget!”

Dustin blinked at him for a moment and then nodded. “Sorry Steve, I freaked out when I found that my walkie talkie had been accidentally been turned to the wrong channel, but I couldn’t get him on it this morning and I was really worried.”

“Okay...” Robin said, raising an eyebrow, “and why are you here, specifically?”

“Oh, I was going to hack your system to find out where Eddie might have gone aground?” Dustin said with a grimace.

Steve buried his head in his hands. “Oh I am so getting fired.”

Max scoffed. “As if your peon bosses would be able to tell Dustin even touched it.”

Steve put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes skyward. “No, that’s not why I’m getting fired.”

Everyone else looked at each other in confusion.

“Then why are you getting fired?” Dustin asked with one raised eyebrow.

“I’m guessing you’re going to want to hasten to Eddie’s rescue, yes?” he asked licking his bottom lip slowly.

Dustin rolled his eyes again. “Yes!”

“And how would you get there?” Steve pressed. “You bikes? Because that won’t draw attention to where Eddie might be hiding.”

“Well, no,” Max said, “we’d make you take us.”

“Which means I would be abandoning the job to go look for Eddie if we left now, yes?”

Dustin and Max eyes went wide and then they said together, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Steve huffed, shaking his head. “You either wait until two when I’m off or I’m going to get fired.”

“Two, you said?” Max said with a wince.

“Mhmm.”

“That’s not too bad,” Dustin hedged. “After all it might take me that long to crack the system and find Eddie.”

He went to go leap over the counter when Steve grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.

“Oh hell no,” Steve snapped. “One I just sorted those tapes and I’m not doing it again, and two you don’t need to hack shit, because I know where he is without all the techno bullshit.”

“Techno is a genre a music,” Max supplied unhelpfully.

“And it’s not bullshit if it helps us find him!” Dustin growled.

“Did you even listen to the rest of Steve said?” Robin asked, knocking his hat off his head. “He knows where Eddie is.”

Dustin blinked at Steve for a moment. “How would you know that?”

Steve rolled his head and tilted his head back. “Because I was on the actual fucking walkie talkies you make us carry around everywhere we go and Eddie radioed the party last night. AND I was the only one who answered!”

Dustin and Max blinked at Steve’s outburst, shocked that he would yell at them. But with Eddie missing and a girl dead, it was forgivable.

“So where is he,” Dustin groused, picking up his hat and slamming it down on his head, “if you’re so smart?”

“Reefer Rick’s boathouse on Lover’s Lake?” Steve suggested with a half shrug.

Max folded her arms and glared at Steve. “And how would you know where that is?”

Steve threw his arms in the air with a huff of frustration. “We’d go there sometimes when my dad was being an ass, okay?” He looked down at his shoes and scuffed his shoe on the carpet. “It was a place no knew but us. Sometimes Rick would be there and we’d watch TV sometimes.”

Dustin looked at him disbelieving. “Yeah, sure...that’s all you did.”

“I hate to break it to you kid,” Steve said dryly, “but drug lords actually prefer that their dealers aren’t doing the drugs they’re selling. It’s bad for business.”

“Oh.”

~

Tag List: 10 SLOTS REMAINING

1- @itsall-taken @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @irregular-child @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

[friend-shaped-but]

RATING EVERYTHING I'VE READ ABOUT THE MAHABHARAT(INCLUDES DNF)

The Navneet Mahabharat for Kids: 11/10, it did things to my brain and got me into the mahabharat in the first place. Have you SEEN the shikhandi in it?

13th day: 6.5/10 for the angst, 4 points taken off for the unnecessary yudhishthir POV and I think the author exaggerated on the abhimanyu POV a little bit sooooo. But ig it was necessary to provide exposition. There is this one conversation between bheeshma and karna which is just. really uh. thought provoking and interesting. Cis shikhandi warrants another point taken off, but she is actually so awesome that im gonna give half a point back. Also one more thing about 13th day I love is how ABHIMANYU IS SHOWN TO HAVE THE 'i gotta kill my family' CONFLICT IN IT BECAUSE HE HAS TRAINED WITH PEOPLE IN THE NARAYANI SENA. It's very blink-it and you miss it but it's Interesting. Krishna is a footnote(which, true, krishna and arjun being away from the battlefield and not being able to save abhimanyu is the whole point of that story and I found it really funny how yudhishthir was like. "Arjun's charioteer Krishna")

The Broken Sun: 8/10 the next book in that series, broken sun is the sequel to 13th day and covers arjun's vow to drona's death. I really loved bheem, ghatotkach, and the arjun POV and this book's insistence on solely referring to Karna as radheya. One point taken off for Slight Misogyny(ON THE AUTHORS PART. IM NOT TAKING POINTS OFF FOR PERIOD TYPICAL STUFF), and another point taken off for That Poop Scene.

Yuganta: 8.5/10, you clocked the Krishnarjun very accurately, mam, but I did not really like constant uh. comparisons? yeah. And the period typical touch of victim blaming. But you did shut down some other researchers that blame draupadi for things so. yeah points for that too ig. It is an awesome and well-researched book tho pls pls go read it.

The Aryavarta Chronicles Book 1: Govinda: 7/10. Points taken off for some of the weird sing-songy shit, the WMDs, and cis shikhandi. But shikhandi is very cool so like. 2 of the 7 points are because of that. And the firstborn-firewright thing which was so confusing it made me stop reading. DNF but I might go back for the awesome characterizations of everyone. Author matches my freak wrt not liking arjun that much.

Mrityunjay: 9/10, one point taken off because the prologue says this book is gonna be in "simplelanguage that everyone understands" but then shivaji sawant writes like everyone has swallowed a thesaurus. DNF because the marathi font was sans serif. If I manage to get it in a devnagri font easier on my eyes I will read it. It's just an well written book from a guy who was very excited about his blorbo and I respect that!!

Draupadi: 9/10, one point taken off for a take about satyavati I disagree with, but the rest of the book is so juicy and delicious. Aruna Dhere is COOKING and I want to meet her please and thank you.

Madhyamavyayoga: 10/10, actually. Bhasa, sir, I would like to invite you to tumblr for your hot takes and how clear it is that abhimanyu is your blorbo.

Pancharatra: 10/10. Well-written what-if by a guy who is excited about his blorbos. I respect that. btw his blorbos are bheem, abhimanyu, and karna.

Karnabharam: 8/10 because I had to study this in 9th grade(and that too in the midst of covid and my mental health going to shit) and it ruined it for me a little bit but hey I love it. Props for naming your work "Karna's issues". Sometime I might post the

On my list, haven't read these yet but I plan to:

Radheya, Ranjit Desai

Rashmirathi, Ramdhari Sinha Dinkar

Vyasaparva, Durga Bhagwat

Pandava Quintet, Roshni Chokshi

Yugandhar, Shivaji Sawant

Mysticism in the bhagwat gita

Mahabharat by NC Panda

At least a children's book edition of the mahabharat in marathi. Need to interact with the mahabharat in marathi more

Karna the sanskrit hero of the epic mahabharata: Kevin Mcgrath

Urubhanga

And any other interesting books I come across.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter nineteen: "Date night"

Summary: It's Spencer and (Y/N)'s last day at work, but before they can retire and live happily ever after, there is one last psycho they have to catch. 

Warnings: A lot of curses and angst, some funny comebacks and most of all, spoilers of season 15 E6. 

Word count: 12.240

A/N: I never liked Max. I'm not even sorry she wasn't a part of this story. Spencer deserved better than a character written just to give him the hint of a love interest that was never heard of again. 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Spencer’s point of view

And all that happened to us in the last few years led us here. Today is our last working day at the BAU. (Y/N) and I step out of our car and head to the elevator in silence. You think you won’t miss it, but I know I will feel melancholic about all this in a few years. However, we both had enough. We are glad to finally be gone.

Prentiss understood our reasons for leaving the team. However, it hadn’t been an easy conversation. We all shed a few tears when we sat with her in her office and announced our decision.

- “I can’t say I’m shocked”- Emily said and paused for a second to rearrange her thoughts after we delivered the news.- “After everything you two have been through�� a part of me knew it was a matter of time. But at the same time, I don’t think I can imagine this place without you two. You are part of this family.”

- “And we will always be. But there is another family, with tiny babies, that needs us now.”- my wife added and wiped the tears from her cheeks.- “This wasn’t an easy decision for us, but we won't change our minds.”

- “I know you won’t. It’s a shame for the team, but I am glad for you two. You deserve a new start.”

- “Thank you, Em.”- I nodded at her words and sighed, relieved.

- “And what’s the plan now?”

- “We were offered full-time positions in Georgetown.”- you could hear the happiness in my reply.- “I’ll be with the Research Department and (Y/N) will be teaching two courses during the next semester.”

- “Wow!”- Prentiss was surprised and the tone in her voice betrayed her.- “Sounds exactly like what you two should be doing.”

- “I’m sorry Em, are you mad at us?”- my wife asked directly.- “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you said you were happy for us and yet you sound disappointed.”

- “No, no, (Y/N). I’m really happy for you, it’s just that… I have to ask you this.”- of course, she would address the pink elephant in the room.- “Is it all this because of JJ’s confession back in Los Angeles?”

The silence in that room was so awkward and deep, that nothing could break it. I could deny it, of course, but it felt useless. But before I could reply, (Y/N) did.

- “That was the last straw, I’m not gonna lie.”- my wife replied and stared at Emily straight in the eyes, showing her she was telling the truth with no hesitation.- “But we weren’t happy before that… incident. We had considered leaving a few times before, after JJ’s confession it was clear we couldn’t delay our departure any longer.”

I moved my hand and reached hers, holding it on her lap.

- “If that hadn’t happened, we would have left anyway.”- I confirmed.- “This conversation was going to happen, no matter what.”

- “I understand, and I’m sorry.”- Emily whispered.- “I know the last few months haven’t been comfortable to deal for both of you”

- “It’s not your fault.”- I replied.- “And, like (Y/N) said, we are not leaving because of her. It’s… everything. Our time here is done. And now we have to start a new stage for our family. One where we can assure our kids we will be home every night for dinner, and that we won’t miss any important date.”

Emily walked to us as we both stood up. My wife hugged her first, with tears on her face.

- “Just promise you’ll still be around.”- Prentiss asked.

- “You don’t get rid of us, I swear”- (Y/N) replied and chuckled.- “You might not be our boss for much longer, but we are family forever.”

That was a month ago, and today, my wife and I are walking into the bullpen holding hands for one last time.

- “Ok, this is not what I was expecting.”- (Y/N) whispers looking around.- “It’s not like I was waiting for a party or something, but… everything is just so normal.”- and I chuckle at her words.

- “It’s eight in the morning, chipmunk. People have to work.”- I joke and leave my bag on my desk just the minute Emily’s voice calls our name from outside the conference room.

- “Now we are talking”- (Y/N) says and quickly heads to the stairs.- “I’m sure Pen baked us some cupcakes for our last day’s breakfast.”

- “Maybe even a cake”- I tease her. But as soon as we notice Emily’s serious face, we realize something bad is happening. Rossi is there as well, staring at us with an apologetic look.

- “What happened?”- I ask right away and Prentiss turns on the tv.

- “Early this morning, Garcia got an email from an anonymous server”- and just like that, the image of two people tied to a chair, clearly frightened, appeared on the screen. Right in the middle of them, the unsub, showing her face and holding a gun.

- “She is not obscuring her face, telling us she's got nothing to hide.”- Rossi adds. My wife crosses her arms on her chest staring at the screen before asking.

- “Any ideas on the victims or unsub?”

- “No. Only the unsub's demand.”- Emily pauses, grabs a case file, and gives it to me. - “That we release Catherine Adams in 24 hours.”

I stare at Prentiss and Rossi in shock for a moment. They can’t be serious. It’s our last day.

- “I'm having her transferred here for questioning, but we have no illusions.”- Em announces and my stomach drops at her words.- “This is just a game to her. We know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?”

- “What do you mean if we want to play it?”- and that’s when (Y/N) reacts.- “We are leaving today. We don’t have time to play any random game with a serial killer.”

- “We know that, (Y/N). But you have to understand the lives of two innocent are at risk.”- Rossi immediately explains the obvious.- “And when it comes to Cat Adams, her only weakness is the man you call your husband. We need you two to crack this case as fast as possible.”

Dealing with Cat Adams is the last thing I want on my last day as an SSA. And yet, somehow, it makes sense that this happened today. It’s exactly why we are leaving.

- “I can’t believe this.”- (Y/N) whispers as she sits at her desk. I stay by her side and rest my hands on her shoulder. She is right, this is the worst way to finish my seventeen years of active service with the FBI.

- “At least we know it’s our last case.”- I caress her shoulder and my wife pouts in response.- “I know this is not how we thought it would be, but tonight we are going home to start our new life. Don’t forget that.”

- “Reid.”- Alvez walks over and both me and my wife look at him.- “Garcia was catching me up about the case. Who is Cat Adams?”

- “My nemesis.”- (Y/N) says and sighs.- “Another crazy psycho in love with Spencer.”

- “She is not in love with me.”- the way my wife turns to look at me raising an eyebrow in disbelief could be comical in another scenario. - “She is not!”- I add just to make sure I’ve made my point.

- “No? Are you sure? That bitch even tried to convince you she was pregnant with your kid.”

- “What?”- Luke is shocked.- “How did she even try to do that?”

- “Not important right now.”- I reply ‘cos I don’t wanna remember that moment. - “Cat Adams is a psychopath who is used to getting away with what she wants.”

- “And she wants you.”- my wife points at me and makes a pause the second JJ walks over to us along with Prentiss.- “I am so sick and tired of bitches trying to get my man…”

- “She is here.”- Emily announces and asks me to walk with her to the interrogation room to wait for Adams.

I hold my wife’s hand and kiss it sweetly as I look at her and try to make her feel secure and safe. I know how much (Y/N) hates Cat. I am not a fan myself, she kidnapped and tried to kill my mother. But I know my wife feels threatened by her in a way, and I don’t know why. I can not stop it either, I’ve tried. So I want her to understand nothing and no one is more important than her and our kids.

(Y/N) wraps her arms around me and I hold her tight against me.

- “Last day.”- I whisper as I rest my forehead against her and hear her hum.- “I’ll be right back.”

- “Take care.”- I kiss her lips and cut her a short smile before I follow Prentiss.

I know I’m not going to like this.

I wait for Adams in the interrogation room. Prentiss is on the other side of the glass, and I know my wife will be there in a second. I do my best to look relaxed, and only a tad annoyed when Adams is walked into the room, in chains. I am not going to let her know how angry she gets me. I will never give her that pleasure.

She is in a mask, which reminds me of Hannibal Lecter, from The Silence of the Lambs. It seems useless to put that on her. I don’t think she will try to eat me.

Her eyes are on me from the second she steps in until she is seated, and she even smiles for a second, pleased.

The guards leave and we both stay quiet for a moment. I stand there, staring at her, unimpressed. Just annoyed.

- “Classic negotiating technique.”- she says after a few seconds. - “The first one who speaks loses, right?”

I don’t move, hands in my pocket, unthreatened by her presence and actions. I just stand there and tell her what will happen.

- “You arranged the kidnapping of two people and you did it the same way you did it before, through a partner on the outside. But her demand, "release Cat Adams," that will never happen. So, tell me what you want right now before I send you back to prison.”

- “Oh! You don't know, do you?”- she looks surprised like I missed something important.- “I stopped fighting.

- “Fighting what?”- I look at the ceiling and sigh, already tired of the conversation.

- “The United States versus Catherine Adams.”- she announces and stares at me waiting for a reaction. She doesn’t get any.- “I had my lawyer plead guilty to all 73 counts. And request the death penalty.”

- “Oh, you've grown a conscience now? I don't think so.”- if she thinks I’m gonna feel sorry for her, she must be really crazy.

- “I'm bored, ok? Boooored.”- somehow, she looks sincere about it. - “Death has to be more interesting than this. But it is funny, you know, when you’re counting the days left, you really do ask yourself, "What didn't I do?" And the only thing I could come up with was…”- she makes a short pause and sighs, to finally turn and stare at me with a smile. - “You.”

- “You haven't done me?”- I ask calmly and take a few steps closer to the table, hands still in my pocket. - “And you think by kidnapping two people you are gonna get what you want?”

- “Do I ever get what I want with you?”- she stares at me as I just raise an eyebrow and wait for her to answer the question herself.- “Besides, your wife must be at the other side of the glass fighting the urges to kill me, and we don't have a lot of time.”

- “For what?”

- “I would like to go on a date. With you.”

I can say I’m surprised. I didn’t think she was this mental.

- “A date?”- I stare at her in disbelief and she smiles.

- “Yes. I want to look pretty. And I want to have fun! And I won't even get physical, ok? Unless you want me to.”

I finally sit in front of her and lean in on the table.

- “Come here.”- I say and lean even more- “Closer.”- she moves and stares into my eyes the entire time, something that might have been incredibly intimidating for me a few years ago. But today, as my last day in the BAU, Cat Adams is not a threat.

- “The only date that I'll be there for is the one where they stick a needle in your vein.”- I whisper and she just stares at me, smiling, looking from my eyes to my lips as I lean back and keep my annoyed facade.

- “You're gonna let a father and daughter die? I don't think so.”- and just like that, she makes her first mistake.

- “I never said father and daughter. You're already slipping. We'll find them. We always do.”- I stand up, annoyed by the conversation and ready to share my intel with the team.

- “Not tonight. Tonight I win.”- she announces from her chair. I stay still for a second, taking a deep breath before I turn and reply with a serious voice.

- “The score between me and you is two to zero. By tomorrow morning, it'll be a clean sweep. Enjoy eternal nothingness. It's a metaphor for your life.”

I turn around and open the door. Before I close it behind my back, I hear her saying “Nice to see you, too, Spencie.” and it takes everything in me not to slam that door on my way out.

Cat Adams kidnapped a father and a daughter just to go out on a date with me? She has to be crazy if she thinks she can get away with it! She is ruining our last day of work torturing two people just for a pity whim. I hate that woman in ways I could never explain. And to think this was supposed to be the best day for me and my wife.

My poor wife. She must be even angrier than I am.

I walk into an empty interrogation office and take off my tie in a poor attempt to calm the sudden anger that fills my body. I don’t wanna deal with this, I just wanna leave. I don’t wanna be targeted by a psychotic narcissist again. Again! I just wanna make my wife happy, and give her the life she deserves. That we both deserve after all these years. And this bitch comes and ruins everything!

I lose it for a second and smash everything that’s upon a small piece of furniture. Lamps, books, whatever was on it gets trashed against the floor in a second.

- “I was gonna ask if you were ok, but I can see you are not.”- (Y/N) whispers from the door as she stares at me. Anyone else would be shocked to see me act that way. I don’t think anyone has ever seen me lose it physically. She, instead, just opens her arms and takes a few steps closer, as I rest my body against hers and feel her embracing me completely.

- “You don’t have to go out with her.”- she whispers sweetly.

- “I wanna kill her.”- I confess and bury my face in her neck, ashamed of my own anger.

- “Not if I kill her first.”- she replies immediately, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

- “I’m not joking.”

- “We are both carrying guns, hon. And we both have enough motives. I know we are not joking.”- (Y/N) answers and moves her hands until she is holding my face, staring into my eyes with so much love and care, that I could melt. - “That bitch tried to kill your mom and managed to torture us and our family. She won’t get what she wants.”

- “She wants to…”- but she shakes her head before I can finish talking.

- “She wants you. I will never let her have you.”

- “I don’t want her. I just want you. Forever.”- I whisper and kiss her lips as soon as I’m done speaking.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I never really imagined my last day at work could be in the top ten of my worst days at the BAU. But it’s quickly getting to the hot top five. If I didn’t want to deal with JJ anymore, now I have to deal with her and Cat Adams at the same freaking time. I know, I am a grown almost forty-year-old FBI SSA who should act like an adult at this point. But I am tired. Exhausted. I just wanna go home with my husband and raise our kids. Is that too much to ask?

Spencer and I sit at the conference room’s table as the team debates what’s going on. A part of me is still in the car with Spencer, going over the last fifteen years we’ve spent together in the FBI. Reliving the memories and talking about our favorite moments. Not here, discussing what to do with Cat Adams. Of all people, why did it have to be Cat Adams?

- “Victimology's off.”- Spencer says and Prentiss questions him right away.- “Father and daughter. She's never done that before.”

- “Yes, she usually kills men that remind her of her father. Children, even adult children, are off limits.”- Tara adds in support. - “Do we have an I.D. yet?”

- “No.”- Pen replies immediately, and you can read the angst all over her face.- “No one's even reported these two as missing. You'd think a wife, a mom, someone would notice.”

- “What do we know about the partner who was helping her?”- Rossi asks. Yet, none of that is what really bothers me.

- “It's got to be someone from her prison. She hasn't had contact with anyone else.”- Simmons replies.- “We can start with known associates who were recently released.”

- “Ok, can I tell you what's bugging me?”- JJ asks and I don’t bite my tongue in time. I can see everyone’s face changing as I say:

- “The fact an unsub has more chances of going out on a date with Spencer than you do?”

- “(Y/N)!”- Emily widened her eyes, shocked by my words.

- “Sorry, but I already quit. This is just a bonus.”- I reply with an evil grin, enjoying making my ex-friend uncomfortable. She deserves it, no doubt.

- “It’s the fact every time we've gone up against Cat, there's the presenting agenda and the hidden one.”- JJ just keeps talking, ignoring my words.

- “We know that”- I add, in a clearly annoyed tone of voice.- “This woman has always been a few steps ahead. That’s her modus operandi. We have to figure it out before we make any decision.”

- “Well, if she sticks to the pattern, this isn't just about going on a date with Spence.”- JJ looks at me as she speaks, so mad I could laugh. Who the hell does she think she is to even try to look angry at me. She should be glad I haven’t hurt her. Bitch.

- “Right now, she's a fixed variable.”- Prentiss replies.- “We need to focus on identifying the unsub and her victims.”

Spencer and I stand outside the interrogation room as Prentiss talks with Cat one more time. Neither of us says a word for a few minutes, but he still holds my hand tight and keeps me close to him.

- “You shouldn’t be so aggressive with JJ.”- I hear him whisper and I just stare at him, clearly annoyed. I don’t understand why he would say such a thing if he knows that woman triggers me each time she stands too close to him.

- “Right. Why is that?”

- “She is your friend.”- he has to be kidding.

- “She was.”- I correct him quickly- “You know she lost my friendship the day she said she loved you.”

- “I don’t like her that way. Why do you wanna hold a grudge against her?”

- “Because I always knew she had feelings for you. Ever since I started liking you.”- I sigh and turn to him. He looks so tired and defeated by the situation, I don’t think I wanna have this conversation right now. - “Fine, I won’t be a bitch with her until we solve this case.”

- “Thank you…”

- “I’m not happy about this being about Cat either.”

- “It’s not my ideal last case either…”

Our conversation ends because Prentiss walks out of the interrogation room and stares at us, clearly frustrated and most of all, annoyed.

- “So, what does the princess of madness want?”- the words come out filled with bitterness as I stare at my friend. She bites her lips before she tells us:

- “She wants to go ice skating, so she can skate circles around Spence. She is wasting our time.”

- “Bitch is mental.”- I whisper and look at her, alone in that room. In no scenario that psycho can or will go out on a date with my husband. Again…

- “Ok, something weird happened, but it could be a lead.”- Garcia shows up and looks at us in honest concern.- “I just got a bazillion voicemail messages, all from the same address on Fourth Street.”

I drive with Alvez and Lewis to the address Garcia gives us. I need a moment away from Cat Adams because I’m starting to believe she will somehow get away with it today, and she will go out on a date with Spencer. I don’t think I could deal with that.

- “Are you ok back there?”- Luke asks as he parks outside the house.

- “Yeah. I just need a little more coffee.”

- “Sure babe.”- Lewis raises an eyebrow and shakes her head.- “Lying to profilers, are you sure you wanna do that?”

- “Just keep me away from Cat so I leave today without killing any more people.”

- “Yes ma'am.”- Luke got out of the car but Tara stayed a few more minutes with me.

- “Reid, keep your eyes on the goal. It’s your last day on the team, don’t let Cat Adams ruin it for you.”

- “I keep telling myself that, but it’s hard when all she demands is a date with your husband.”- I simply confess ‘cos it’s not like it’s a secret.

- “We are gonna find this family and Cat is gonna go back to her cell, and most importantly, you are gonna go home with Spencer tonight and start the rest of your life together. Nothing will change that, ok? So don’t let any bitch get into your mind. Ok?”

I hold my friend’s hand and nod. Sometimes, all you need is a little empowerment from a friend to kick ass.

The whole street is filled with wanted posters looking for Susan. Yes, like the 80s movie. It’s breadcrumbs and it means to follow Cat’s game, but if we want to find that family, we’ll have to find who that Susan is.

When we get back to the BAU, the team has news: they know who Cat’s sidekick is. It was her old cellmate, Juliette Weaver, freed only six months ago. They had a lot in common, other than sharing cells and being besties, both their dads had killed their mothers. And we all know what trauma bonding does to psychopaths. It encourages them to do even crazier shit.

Matt says Susan is no other than Cat’s mother, and this is when I know she is not playing. We are about to go straight into her trap. But we have nothing else. As always, she is five steps ahead.

- “You are gonna have to go out with her.”- I whisper as I walk with Spencer to the interrogatory room one more time. He just shakes his head and holds my hand.

- “The only date I have tonight is with you and our bed after we solve this case and go home.”

- “She will only make a mistake if she is alone with you. If you go out with her and go fucking ice skating or whatever it is that she wants to do, we’ll get a chance to find that family.”- I hate saying this, but it’s the truth.

- “Chipmunk, I’ll try to talk to her one more time. If this doesn’t work, we’ll find another way.”

- “There’s not enough time.”- I whisper and sigh.- “I just don’t want her to get what she wants.”

- “She would never.”- Spencer stops walking and stares at me.- “I love you.”

- “I love you too.”

His arms wrap around me and keep me close to him for a few seconds. I feel his lips on the top of my head and I just sigh. Is it bad that I just wanna call him mine and only mine? No one can have him. He is my husband, the father of my kids… I am being obsessive and possessive, but can you blame me? Bitches keep falling for him and trying to steal him from me.

Spencer’s point of view

I am tired. Frustrated. Angry. I just wanna get this over with and go home. Instead, I have to talk to Cat Adams one more time.

- “Somehow you did it.”- I walk to her and she just sits by the table, not even looking at me, she just stares at the wall, looking like she is bored out of her mind.

- “You found what I couldn't. You found your father and you must have been furious when you discovered that he started over. Had another daughter. And that is why you deviated from your usual victimology. It wasn't enough to just hurt him. You had to hurt her, too.”

I finish my speech and crouch down by her side. And she just ignores every single word. Until she finally looks at me and asks.

- “When are we going ice skating?”

- “We're not going ice skating. You know, we've been asking ourselves this whole time what your hidden agenda was, but you tipped it when you said that you were gonna win tonight. Even if I let you out of here, you'll still kill them.”

I keep my eyes on her the entire time I talk, but she shows no emotion, no remorse. Nothing. She just stares back at me and pouts.

- “So, no ice skating?”

- “No ice skating.”

As I stand up and walk to the door, she says one more thing. One that gets me in a worse mode ‘cause of course she still has more surprises.

- “You should tell Garcia to check her email.”

Garcia has a video of Cat’s sidekick, Juliette, firing blanks at the father, right in front of his daughter. We all watch it and Emily ends up saying what my wife had suggested a few hours ago. That I should go out on a date with Cat and wait until she trips. ‘Cause apparently she always trips up with me.

- “Absolutely no.”- I stare at Rossi and Prentiss ‘cause I can’t understand why they are suggesting this.- “There is no way I am doing this.”

- “If we give Cat what she wants, we can profile what she says on the date. She always trips up. She always reveals her Achilles heel.”- Emily says as she looks me right in the eyes, trying to convince me.

- “And she always does it with you.”- Rossi adds. I feel my wife holding my hand and I turn to look at her.

- “I told you so.”- she whispers.

- “I don’t want to go.”- I reply in a soft voice.

- “We are gonna be three steps ahead of her this time.”- (Y/N) assures me and cuts me a short smile.- “Or I’ll kill her. Whatever happens first.”

It takes Cat an hour to get ready for our “date.” Meanwhile, I prepare every detail with the team and Emily convinces (Y/N) not to go with us, instead, Luke will tag along.

- “Why do you think I will let my husband go out with a serial killer alone?”- my wife asks, raising an eyebrow.

- “(Y/N), if you go, Cat will be mad and it might probably ruin the entire thing.”- Prentiss replies and tries to calm her down.- “Luke will be there the entire time, and we’ll…”

- “No! Last time she was on a date with him, he ended up being kidnapped.”

- “I was not kidnapped.”- I argue, though she is somehow right.

- “You were kept against your will at gunpoint at a table playing a sick game in a restaurant that had a bomb. How do you call that? Game night?”- (Y/N) looks at me, annoyed. Why is it that I find it sweet that she gets jealous and worried? I can’t tell her that now ‘cause she is clearly angry. But she looks adorable right now. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.

- “Nothing bad will happen, chipmunk.”- I whisper and kiss the tip of her nose.- “I’ll always come back home to you.”

- “She is ready. Let’s go.”- Tara announces from the door, so I take a deep breath and get ready to pick up my date.

We walk to the elevator outside the bullpen. The entire floor is filled with agents and high-security cops. Cat holds my arm as we walk and I just look straight ahead, trying not to acknowledge her. But I know she is smiling, enjoying her moment of triumph.

I can see my wife, arms crossed against her chest, standing along with the rest of the team. I just look at her as I walk past her and try to tell her how much I love her, that I’ll be back soon, and that I love her more than my own life. She looks at me for a moment and then stares at Cat with pure hate. I might need to make it up to her for this whole thing.

Luke and a SWAT team are waiting for us in the elevator. I really don’t wanna do this and I hate the fact there is no other way.

- “Don’t wait up!”- Cat says with a cheeky smile and somehow I know she is staring at my wife, probably ‘cause fire and knives are coming from her eyes as she stares at us. I wish I could tell her how sorry I am to put her through this whole thing. Now the door is closed and I’m on a date with Cat Adams.

In my head, I list all the things I’m gonna do tomorrow on my first day outside the BAU. I’m gonna make my wife breakfast in bed, then I’m gonna take her and the kids out for lunch, maybe we could go to the zoo or to the library.

- “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”- Cat’s voice takes me from my head and forces me back into reality. I’m in the back of a SWAT van with two officials. I try to stay focused on the plan and ignore her completely. Of course, she just keeps talking.

- “What ice skating rink are we going to?”- still no answer.- “Spencie.”

- “Don't call me that.”- I give her a stern look and then look away.

- “God, your parents are so strict.”- she jokes and looks at the officials.

I hate every second of this.

- “This isn't what I wanted.”- Cat’s tantrum starts the second we get off the van and she realizes this is a roller skating rink, not ice skating. As expected.

- “It's the best I could do.”- I reply and place my hands in my pockets. I did, in fact, nothing for this date.

- “It's not what I want.”

- “Skating is skating. What does it matter?”

- “It matters because if I asked to hang out with a bunch of sixth graders, I would have asked to come here, but I didn't, did I?”

- “We put in the request, Cat, and the answer was no.”- I explain once.

- “Why?”

- “Because we can't risk giving you access to a bladed tool.”- I explain twice, and I’m losing my patience.

- “What? I'm gonna use an ice skate to slice your neck open? Grow up”- two guns clock behind her and she doesn't even bother- “Relax.”

- “It's out of my hands. It's either this or nothing.”

- “Then nothing.”- she replies defiantly.

- “Fine.”- I say and shrug.

- “Fine.”

- “Get back in the van.”- I command.

- “I will.”

- “Had something special planned for our anniversary but whatever, forget it.”

I delivered that line as casually as possible, trying to make it sound like I was sorry she was gonna miss my surprise. When my wife said this time we were going to be three steps ahead of her, she wasn’t lying. She realized we had met Cat this month a few years ago, making it technically our anniversary.

- “You remembered?”- and it worked, ‘cause Cat turns to me surprised.

- “Of course, I remembered, but this date is over, so, let's get back in the van.”- I try to help her inside the van, but she is very curious.

- “No, no, no, no. I want to see it. Come on. I want to see it.”

- “Give me something.”- I demand immediately.

- “No.”

- “Yes. Give me something to help find your dad and half-sister.”- I insist, staring at her and trying not to look as annoyed and tired as I am.

- “Twenty-three.”

- “That's nothing. Give me something better.”- I demand, knowing the team is listening.

- “You're smart. You'll figure it out.”- she pauses, not moving from her spot, and then repeats.- “Let's go. I want to see it. Let's go.”

And so, we start walking. I sigh and most nonchalantly, I reach out for her hand, just like my wife suggested. I can't believe she asked me to do this.

- “Hold my hand. It's dark inside.”

- “You know we just had our first fight, right?”- there’s some pride in that sentence. She wants us to act like we are a couple, ‘cause maybe in her head, we already are. I wanna be done with this.

As soon as we step inside, Cat starts complaining again.

- “God, it smells so gross in here. That's why I hate roller rinks.”- but I just ignore her.

- “Luke, can you hear me?”- I say and look up at the DJ booth.

- “Loud and clear.”- he replies in the speaker. The whole room fills with his voice. I’m glad I am not alone.

- “Light it up.”

- “Got it.”

The entire room lights up, some random song I didn’t pick starts playing, and a massive sigh lightens and you can read “Spencie and Cat Forever.”

- “Spencie”- Cat seems to be impressed, even delighted and touched by my gesture. I try not to smile pleased, thinking my wife’s idea is working. I married the most brilliant woman in the world.

- “I'm a size 7 skate.”

This is a bad moment to face the fact I can’t skate. I failed with the skateboard every time Frank and Mikey tried to teach me, but that was probably ‘cause we always tried to do it when we were drunk. And right now, I am failing with the skates. Cat is enjoying her moment, sliding from one corner to the other with elegance and ease. Meanwhile, I am struggling to stand and move forward without smashing my face on the ground.

- “What's up?”- she asks as she shows up next to me- “Can you skate backward?”

- “I can barely skate forward.”- I confess ‘cause you can see the struggle I’m in.

- “Really? Just look up.”- and I do, well, I look up to the ceiling and she chuckles.- “Not that far.”- Cat holds my arm and helps me. This whole thing is ridiculous and I end up chuckling.

- “Someone having fun?”- I don’t reply, but keep smiling ‘cos at some level, this whole thing could be fun. -“I'm having fun. If your stupid chaperone wasn't here, I would ask the DJ to put on some Savage Garden for the guy-girl skate and we could totally make out.”

Cat smiles at me as she helps me skate, holding my arm.

- “You, uh, you realize what I have to do, right?”- I ask because I can’t drag this conversation any longer.

- “Um, let me think. Ask me a bunch of pointed questions and hope that I trip up? Go ahead. Ask away.”

I know I have to play Cat the right way, she knows I want to rescue her father and half-sister, but that won't come from a direct question. So instead, I ask:

- “What happened to your baby?”- and it works.

- “What?”- she definitely didn’t see that question coming, because her eyes and voice are filled with anger and hurt in a second.

- “The last time I saw you, you were pregnant with someone else's baby that you said was mine.”- I simply add trying to be casual.

- “Why are you asking me about that? I don't want to talk about that.”

- “Hormonal changes during pregnancy expand the brain's capacity for empathy. I was actually just trying to see if I could use it against you.”- it’s not the honest reason, but I think it works.

- “Oh, really? What about, um, sex?”

No. My strategy didn’t work. Now she wants to find me unprepared. She moves and crushes her body against me and stares right into my eyes, trying to read the effect she has on me. I hold her in place and stare at her, glad there are no cameras here, just audio to report back to the team.

- “Why don't you use that against me?”

It’s far from a pleasant image if you ask me to be honest. Sex will only seem tempting if it’s with the woman I love, and as much as I try to hide my contempt, I fail. Cat moves away from me and stares at me with pure hate. Then, she slaps me so hard I fall to the floor on these stupid skates.

- “Cat, wait!”

I stand up as fast as I can and start to make the story believable enough to help me through this. I know (Y/N) is listening on the other side of the mic, but this is the only chance I’ve got to finish with this and save that family. And I know she understands.

- “Cat! Cat! Wait! I can explain!”- I follow her to the lockers, where she is taking off her skates, furious.

- “I have spent my entire adult life reading men. I know when they're thinking about someone else.”

- “Yes, I was thinking about my wife, but that doesn't mean…”

- “Do you know what this was for me? I didn't ask for one last family visit. I didn't want one final meal. I wanted this. And you can't even give me the courtesy of your undivided attention before I'm executed.”

Somehow, she was being honest about that. This was all she had asked for, which is sad. But she just had to torture two people to get it.

- “So, thank you very much, but this date is over. You can turn off the stupid lights, boys. Let's get out of here.

- “She's not you.”- it’s the only thing I can come up with. I stand in front of Cat looking defeated and she stares at me, still angry, and trying to find a flaw in my facade.

- “You're lying.”- and she doesn’t believe it, so I have to make sure she swallows every word that comes out of my mouth from now on. It’s time to lie.

- “I'm not lying. I wish I was, but I'm not! There's some part of my brain, some part that you somehow inhabit, and no woman, no matter how good, no matter how kind, no matter how sexy she is, not even my own wife can ever get you out.”- she stares at me and suddenly I wonder if this is exactly what (Y/N) fears the most. Am I hurting her?

- “Do you think about me when you kiss her?”

- “Yes.”- I don’t even think about it, I just answer. She raises an eyebrow with a smirk.- “And if it makes you happy, I’m pretty sure I’ll be in big trouble when I get home after our date.”

- “Does she know everything you do or think?”

- “No, but I try to tell her most things.”- I say those words with the certainty I am not lying.

- “Most things, not all things.”- Cat takes the bait and a part of me feels good lying is useful for once.

- “No…”

- “What doesn’t your wife know that I could know?”

- “Well…”- I glue my eyes to the floor, trying to look as ashamed as possible.

- “Come on. Give me something.”- her voice is annoyed and anxious.

- “I still go to my old apartment.”

- “What?”

- “We were supposed to sell it when we got the house, but I wanna keep it. She doesn't know that I still hang out there sometimes when I tell her I’m running an errand.”

- “Then I want to see your apartment. Now.”

(Y/N)’s point of view

Call me petty, but the fact Spencer is on a date with Cat Adams is driving me more crazy than not being able to find her father and half-sister. Something is off. Adams has to be hiding something. She wants to throw us a curveball at the last minute. But what?

I stare at Emily as the team analyzes every second of the conversation Spencer is having with Cat. My cell phone hums in my pocket and I grab it immediately, thinking it could be my mom. She is with the kids tonight. But instead, it’s Frank.

- “Nugget, I’m sorry.”

- “Hey, what is it?”- I can tell he is stressed ‘cause his voice is shaky and very fast.

- “I just… never thought I could make this call, less on your last day, but I need your help. We do.”

- “What happens, Paco?”

- “It’s Tarah’s dad, Charlie. He has been missing since last night.”- I hold my breath, shocked. His girlfriend’s father is missing. And because I am surprised, I ask the wrong question.

- “What? Are you sure?”

- “Of course I am sure! I would never call you if I weren’t sure!”- my friend snaps right away.

- “Sorry! Sorry! Did you guys fill the report?”- I walk outside the conference room as I talk with my friend.

- “Tarah is just doing that as we speak, but it’s not just that.”

- “What is it?”

- “Lizzy, Mikey’s sister-in-law is missing too. Both of them disappeared last night.”

And somehow, it clicked.

- “I’m gonna need you to send me pictures of them asap. I’ll make sure they get home safe tonight.”

I rush back into the conference room and start shouting information, hyperventilating ‘cause we are wasting time.

- “It’s about Spencer.”- Rossi and Em stare at me, lost. Of course, none of them gets what I’m trying to say ‘cause they are not in my head, so I try to elaborate on my breakthrough.

- “This whole show Cat is doing, it’s about Spencer and me, I’m sure this bitch knows we are leaving the FBI.”

- “What? Why?”- Prentiss doesn’t doubt it, she just needs more proof.

- “Frank’s father inlaw and Mikey’s sister inlaw are missing, they are sending me pictures as we speak, and if I’m right, I’m pretty sure that’s the father and daughter Juliette is torturing.”

- “Fuck.”- Rossi whispers as he shakes his head.

- “Can you get your friends to come over?”- Prentiss asks and I just nod. - “Good, ‘cause we need to be ready for whatever Cat is planning to do now. She won’t get away with this.”

- “Spencer is taking Cat to your old apartment.”- Matt shows up suddenly with the news

- “What? Why?”

- “Apparently, Cat wants to see it…”- my phone rings that second. Mikey’s hyperventilating at the other side of the line.

- “I just got a call from an unknown number, a woman yelled at me to go to your old apartment. It said there was a hidden key underneath the mat. And if I don’t go, she’ll kill Lizzy and Tarah’s dad.”

- “Cat is taking us all there.”- I say and look at Prentiss.- “I’m on my way, Mikey, wait for me there. I’m gonna call Frank.”

Just then, I get a text myself. It says: “If you want to save them, go to your old apartment.” So Cat wants me to be there as well. I wonder why. I show it to Prentiss as we hurry to get into the car and she stares at me, pale.

- “She has never even addressed you.”

- “No. Not really.”- now that I think about it, Cat has always been alone with Spencer. I watch them interact from a safe distance, but I have never spoken to her. This shit will be weird.

I was right. Cat wants us all to meet in our old apartment? Why? I have too many theories about that. We meet Frank and Mikey a block before Spencer’s apartment. In the years I’ve met them, I have never seen them like this. They are… losing it.

It’s hard to work with friends and family. You just never know how to keep your head cold, and how to talk to them without sounding condescending. Not even in my worst nightmare I ever imagined I would be in this situation with my best friends on my last day working for the Bureau. But Cat wanted us to leave like this, so we have to deal with what we got.

- “She is the crazy psycho that almost killed Diana?”- Frank asks but instead of me, Prentiss does the talking.

- “Yes, she is. She is a dangerous criminal, and she just wants to hurt Spencer and (Y/N).”

- “I’m gonna kill her.”- Mikey mumbles as we rush upstairs.

- “No, you have to outsmart her. Let her think she is in charge. She will trip with Spencer.”- I command as I open the front door. We are less than fifteen minutes ahead of Cat and Spencer, but we have to be ready for them.

- “Whatever happens, don’t believe anything she says, but act as if you do.”- Prentiss starts instructing my friends.- “She will lie, she will use you to make Reid’s life a living hell. Try to make her see she is convincing you.”

- “She can’t know you are lying.”- I add, scared my friends are caught in this mess.

- “So it’s like when we got drunk as teenagers and pretended to be sober when we got home?”- Frank somehow jokes in the middle of this nightmare, probably trying to ease the mood. And I just smile at him and nod, as I help wiring him.

- “Hopefully your acting will be better now. You always got caught.”- I smile at him, but tears fill my eyes in a second. I hate getting emotional on the field, but this is my family we are talking about.

- “Hey, hey. No, don’t.”- Frank holds my hands and looks at me.- “Don’t give this bitch what she wants. Don’t cry.”

- “I’m just so sorry.”

- “You are sorry she is a crazy bitch?”- Frank raises an eyebrow as I shake my head.

- “I’m sorry we dragged your families into this madness.”

- “This is what she wants, nugget.”- Mikey kisses my forehead and wipes my tears.- “Don’t let that psycho win.”

- “They are almost here.”- Garcia announces. She checks our mics, and earpieces and kisses my cheek.- “I love you, munchkin. You can do this.”- I just nod and watch her and the rest of the team rush out of our old apartment.

Just now I realize how empty this whole place looks. We left some furniture behind, an old sofa Raven and Vinny had mostly destroyed, and a small table. But it feels so weird without all of our books and mess and child’s screams. Our landline is apparently still on, and a very old telephone sits there, alone. Frank lights a cigarette and I almost ask him to put it off out of instinct. Like the kids were still there.

We say nothing for a few minutes. We just stand there speechless. Mikey whispers a few things, mostly words of encouragement. Until we hear some noises from the hall.

- “This is it.”- I whisper and my friends just nod. Anything could happen. Adams probably has a very structured plan and we need to outsmart her. I am sure she just wants to hurt us. Mentally and even physically.

So of course, as soon as the front door opens, the first thing I see is Spencer kissing Cat as if his life depended on it.

- “What the fuck?”- I mouther as I open my eyes wide and my husband removes his lips from Cat’s, in shock, fear and regret. I can read it all on his face, but it doesn’t mean much at the moment. I don’t even have to force myself to fake the anger. I am burning.

Spencer stares at me for a few seconds, still holding Cat’s face with both hands. As soon as he reacts to what’s happening, he starts walking in my direction, but Frank’s fist stops him. He hits him hard, right on the jaw.

- “Mother fucker!”- Frank hisses and I wrap my arms around him to stop him from resuming the fight. I don’t know if this is pretending or if he is actually mad, but he wants to keep hitting Spencer and I am not letting that happen.

- “I told you what would happen if you ever made her cry!! I warned you!! Now you got us all in this fucking mess! I am gonna kill you!”

Frank’s face is red in anger as he yells. Spencer raises a hand to his jaw and stares at him for a second in disbelief. Then, he looks at me with sorry eyes. He is almost in tears. I remember Cat was just here, but she is nowhere to be seen. Probably the SWAT team took her out. Mikey holds my hand, pulling me away from Frank, and wraps an arm around my shoulder protectively.

- “Chipmunk, this is not what it looks like.”

- “Get them out of here!”- Luke rushes in and my friends raise their hands like they were being at gunpoint.

- “No, we can’t leave. She’ll kill them if we do.”- Mikey explained.

- “Who?”- Spencer asks but keeps looking at me.

- “My sister-in-law and Frank’s father-in-law. She took them.”- as Mikey speaks, Luke stops the few SWAT officials in the room from taking them out. - “Someone called us and told us to come here if we wanted to see them alive again. Our wives are terrified, Reid. We need to get our family back.”

- “This is all my fault.”- Spencer whispers and for once, I don’t comfort him. I don’t open my mouth.

- “Spencer, what the fuck is happening?”- Frank demands to know.- “Tell me before I break your face.”

- “Guys, I’m so sorry. I don’t have enough time to explain. I just wanna apologize for what you saw. It really means nothing, I am just trying to…”

- “No time for that, Spencer.”- I snap and look at Luke.- “Bring her back and leave us alone.”

- “What?”- Alvez stares at us not getting what’s happening. But Spencer agrees.

- “If she brought all of us here, this is what she wanted.”- I add before my husband grabs the landline phone and calls from his cell.

- “You can monitor us from here.”

- “Are you sure?”- Luke asks and I just nod.

- “I’ll keep her safe.”- my husband tries to hold my hand but I don’t let him and he stares at me like a wounded puppy. It hurts to act this way, but if I just saw him kissing another woman. A crazy bitch as a matter of act. And I know it’s not because he wants to do it, he was probably just trying to prove a point. But it still hurts. I have to use this anger to make it all real in front of Cat.

- “Follow my lead. We can outsmart her.”- Spencer says and looks at our friends.- “Trust me, please. Let her goat, she loves to goat. Just don’t show fear, she’ll use it against you.”

- “Who are you talking about?”- Frank asks as Cat walks into our apartment, a sign I never imagined could happen, not in this life or another.

- “Her.”- I point out and cross my arms on my chest. Luke leaves us alone, closing the door behind his back.

Cat fucking Adams wipes her mouth with her hand, remembering my husband’s lips were just there a few minutes ago. I have a gun, I could just kill her.

- “I can’t believe after all this time we haven’t properly met, Mrs. Reid.”- she smiles at me and winks.- “She is cute, Spencie.”

- “We are here. What the hell do we have to talk about?”- my husband barks at her, and she scoffs as if the answer is too obvious.

- “So much, so, so much. I can’t believe this is actually the first time I get the chance to talk with your wife. We have so much to share. We both know you so well.”

- “I give a fuck about your stupid crush on Spencer. I just want my family back.”- Frank snaps and I hold him back.

- “I like you, you are feisty. I never got what were you doing hanging out with two feds. You had potential as a riot maker.”- Cat smiles at Frankie and my friend nearly bites her as he replies.

- “Oh shut up. Just tell us what the fuck you want and let us leave.”

- “I just wanted us to talk. I mean, we’ve been all connected for so long, it’s only fair we get to know each other better. Especially us, (Y/N). Our lives, and some other things, have been touched by the same man.”

It’s official. I’m gonna kill Cat Adams.

Spencer’s point of view

- “Did it make you mad that I was kissing your husband?”- Cat asks with the most innocent tone of voice and I don’t know if I should look at (Y/N) or just ignore what’s going on. Of course, my wife knows what to answer, though her cold tone of voice is so unsettling.

- “A lot of things you did made me mad today. Mostly the fact you kidnapped my friend’s family. Why?”

- “Why what? Why I kissed him? He kissed me, actually.”- I open my mouth to argue with Cat’s affirmation, but (Y/N) speaks quicker, sounding incredibly tired of the whole situation.

- “No, Cat. Why don’t you just release their family? They have nothing to do with this.”

- “They have so much to do with all this. What was it, Reids? Did you think you were gonna quit and everything was gonna be fine? You don’t get it. They don’t get it.”- she ads and looks at Frank and Mikey.- “Did you guys get it? How much your friends have fucked up your lives? How their jobs got you all in this shit?”

- “Honestly, right now, I give a shit about their lives. I just want you to stop this and release our family.”

- “Wow, Frank. That’s not what a friend would say.”- the way Cat says Paco’s name is upsetting, and I can see how my wife is trying to mask her anger.

- “Excuse us, but we actually have other things in mind right now.”- Mikey adds, and lights a cigarette.

- “Like what?”

- “Are you gonna hurt Lizzy and Charlie?”

- “No if I don’t have to.”- I know Cat is lying. - “What’s important here is that you learn your lesson.”

- “Which lesson would that be?”- Frank questions and crosses his arms on his chest. He and Mikey are standing at each side of my wife, protecting her. Something I wish I could do better at this moment.

- “Well, usually Spencie and I spend our time together playing games, but tonight I brought you all here to make a point. You could do so much better.”

- “With you?”- I ask her, but she shakes her head and points at my wife and her friends.

- “The three amigos here. Especially you, (Y/N). You had so much potential. I know you’ve been wanting to leave the BAU for longer than your husband here, and you’ve stayed in this shitty job, putting your friends and their families in danger just because he can’t make up his freaking mind.”

- “That’s not true.”- I argue, but my wife doesn’t say a word. Instead, I see her fighting the tears. And Cat smiles, rejoicing in the pain she is causing (Y/N).

- “Apparently, it is.”

- “(Y/N)?”- I whisper her name and she bites her lips, trying not to burst into tears. Frank holds her hand and Mikey wraps an arm around her, two things I should be doing.

- “I’ve hated this job since before Hotch had to leave. I wanted to quit since Raven was born. You just… didn’t listen every time I tried to tell you.”

- “You see, Spencie? Your wife hasn’t been happy for a while, and you never noticed. Your marriage isn’t as perfect as you thought it would be.”

- “Chipmunk, why didn’t you tell me?”- I whisper, afraid of the answer.

- “I couldn’t. You just… weren’t ready to deal with this, and I thought if I faked it for a little longer, I was going to fall in love with the job again.”

- “But you didn’t”- Cat adds and my wife just shakes her head.

- “And you know what’s even worse than that? The fact a psycho noticed and you didn’t!”- (Y/N) isn’t yelling, but the words come out filled with anger, and she is being sincere.

- “I… I am so sorry, chipmunk.”

- “Finally, we are getting to the heart of the matter.”- Cat claps a few times and walks around our empty living room.- “He told me he doesn’t want to sell this place, by the way. That he still comes and hangs out here on his own when he says he is running an errand.”

- “Everything I said, I did to save their families, ma cherie.”- I ignore Cat and try to talk to my wife. But she ignores me.

- “Did that kiss look like a lie, (Y/N)? Be honest.”- Cat asks her.

- “It was.”- I assure my wife but she wipes her tears from her cheeks and looks at me, knives coming from her eyes.

- “You know that looked pretty real, Spencer.”

- “Chipmunk, please.”

- “Shut up, Reid.”- Frank is losing his patience.- “You fucked it up, at least admit it.”

- “Frank is right. Everyone thinks that Doctor Spencer Reid is just this nice, bookish genius who always saves the day and has all the answers and who would never ever hurt anyone, right? ‘Cause he is the nice guy. But I know the real him.”

- “Oh yeah? Who is the real me, Cat?”- I sound defiant ‘cos I’m fucking tired of this trial.

- “The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls and hisses that he’s gonna kill them.”- she replies, hitting a sensitive spot.

- “That was a very different situation.”- I explain, but she dismisses my words.

- “Your wife was there. Am I right, (Y/N)?”

- “What is she talking about?”- Frank asks and turns to me.- “Who the fuck did you hurt?”

- “No one! I hurt no one!”- I try to defend myself, but I know Cat will have a different point of view.

- “Come on, Spence”- she says with a mocking tone of voice.- “Don’t lie to your friends anymore. That’s why we are here. To be honest with each other, so they can see you are not a saint, and that their friend really screws them over bringing you into their lives.”

- “Who did you hurt, Spencer?”- Mikey asks and stares at me, demanding answers.

- “You tell him. They are not gonna believe it coming from me.”- Cat says innocently.

Frank and Mikey stare at me as if they don't know the story. Which they don’t. Not this part, at least.

- “I’m sure you remember two years ago, Cat had her partner kidnap my mother. Just like tonight. She got under my skin and…"

- “And you threw her against a wall?”- Frank asks raising an eyebrow, shocked.

- “Don't skimp on the details, Spencie. They deserve to know everything.”- Cat is surely enjoying this moment of humiliation for me.

- “She was pregnant at the time and I knew that when I hurt her.”- I whisper those words staring at the ground ‘cause I am honestly ashamed of confessing it in front of my friends.

- “And?”- Mikey asks.- “How badly did you hurt her? Did you lose your temper?”

- “Well, the next day I miscarried, so you can imagine who mad get got.”- Cat whispers but the words are heard by everybody.

- “That's not true.”- I snap and look at her, in shock.

- “It is most certainly true. Check my medical records."- Cat basically threatens us with those files, and I can't believe a word she is saying.

- “That doesn't mean I… I would stop.”

- “You stopped ‘cause your wife forced you. But who forces you to stop when you lose your temper with her?”

- “I would never…”- I whisper shocked by her insinuation.

- “Never, Spence? You did it with me.”- Cat raises an eyebrow and looks at me.

- “You had kidnapped my mother!”

- “So that gives you the right to kill my baby?”

Kill a baby. I murdered a poor child. I feel the knot in my throat tighten and fight the tears. Cat has to be lying. She has to. Because if by any chance she is telling the truth, I don’t think I will ever be able to live with the guilt. I’ve killed evil men, and I’ve pulled the trigger knowing the consequences of my acts many times. But not once I’ve ever thought about hurting a baby, an innocent child.

- “I thought you were decent.”- it’s the repugnance in Frank’s tone of voice that shocks me. - “To think you could do that to my sister.”

- “I would nev…”

- “Shut up, dude.”- Mikey pushes my arm, but my wife stops him.- “I always knew your mister goody goody attitude had to be fake. No one is like that in real life.”

- “It was about damn time you knew the real Spencer.”

- “Shut up, Cat.” - (Y/N) whispers and covers her face with both hands.- “You wanted to hurt my whole family? Congratulations, you did it! Now let those poor people free! They didn’t do anything!”

- “They did! You are just not seeing it yet, chipmunk!”

My wife’s nickname coming from Cat’s lips seems tainted. And somehow I realize how she makes me my sanity. I can picture myself hurting Cat Adams and not feeling bad about it. That kind of thought is dangerous.

- “I’m sorry.”- I whisper and try to reach (Y/N), hold her hand, but she moves away from me, breaking my heart.

- “Notice how he apologizes to you, not to me, and it’s my dead baby.”

- “I would never… I didn’t mean to…”

- “It doesn’t matter, Spencer.”- Cat says and looks at my wife.- “All men are the same. Aren’t they, Mrs. Reid?”

- “Don’t call her that.”- I snap at her immediately.

- “Or what? Are you gonna throw me against the wall? Choke me? Or do you do that only to pregnant women?”

- “Why are you doing this to them?”- Mikey asks, thankfully ending that useless argument.

- “Because I want you all to see it. How Spencer ruins everything he touches.”- Cat looks at Mikey and Frank as she speaks, and then looks at my wife.- “Spencer ain’t better than whoever hurt you before.”

- “Don’t you dare bring that up”- Mikey’s words stop my heart, and my wife looks at him with watered-up eyes. I have no idea what he is talking about, but whatever it is, it pleases Cat, so she looks at my wife with a fake smile and asks.

- “What’s his name?”

- “I mean it, (Y/N), we are not talking about this shit.”- Mikey warns her, and I stare at them puzzled. What have they been hiding all these years?

- “Come on, Mrs. Reid. Tell us.”

- “It’s not of your business. Mikey is right. We are not talking about him. Release their families.”- but Cat just smiles a her and shakes her head.

- “You know it’s my business, (Y/N). It’s my specialty. What I did for a living. So come on. Share with the class.”

- “If you wanna know about him, release their families.”- my wife crosses her arms on her chest and stares at her.

- “Do you want me to make a phone call so you can trace it?”- Cat smiles at (Y/N) and mimics her posture.- “You guys at the FBI are so good.”

- “What the fuck is wrong with you?”- Frank shouts- “Stop flirting with Spencer and release our families! What is this sick, twisted thing you two have? And how are you not breaking her face?!”- he asks and turns to my wife.- “He clearly has feelings for her! How can you just overlook that?!”

- “I can’t overlook it! It’s just… I can’t-” (Y/N) fights the tears and groans as she walks across the room.- “What she does to him I can’t control it. Happy? Now release their families! Please!”

My wife sounds desperate, and Cat simply stares at her.

- “Tell me his name.”

- “Don’t do it, we’ll find another way.”- Mikey warns her. Why is he trying to keep this a secret?

- “Tell me the story, (Y/N). And I promise you, Lizzy and Charlie will be free to go.”

- “Nugget, you fucking promised me we were never going to talk about that again. Don’t do it.”- Mikey begs her.

- “We have to do anything she wants if we want to save Lizzy and Charlie"- (Y/N) mutters and sighs.- "Sometimes bitches win. This time, she does.”

- “No, please.”- Mikey sobbs and hugs (Y/N). What the fuck happened that I never heard anything of.

- “Arthur.”- my wife walks away from me and whispers the rest.- “His name is Arthur, he is Mikey’s older brother. We dated for two years.”

- “Your best friend brother. What happened?”- Cat is enjoying this and I hate it.

- “What do you think happened? Does it look like we lived happily ever after?"- (Y/N) asks, annoyed

- “Tell me, when did it end?”- Cat keeps asking.

- “When I was twenty.”- my wife stares at her hand, embarrassed by the story.

- “Was he your first?”

- “Shut up.”- I stare at Cat and she just smiles at me.

- “What? I just wanted to know. You surely must know you were not her first.”

- “He was my first love. I loved him since I can remember. Mikey’s older brother, he was… he always seemed so cool. So different than all the kids in school.”

- “And what happened?”

- “What do you think happened, Cat?”- (Y/N) sounds irritated.- “Do you think everything ended like a fucking fairy tale?”- but Cat shakes her head, keeping her posture and calm.

- “Come on, Reid. I am not the enemy here. Just tell me the story.”

My wife sighs and looks at Mikey. He is angry, and fighting the tears himself.

- “I’m sorry.”- (Y/N) whispers and holds his hand.- “I tried to change for him. I did. A lot. He didn’t like that I was smarter than him, or that I had many friends in school. So I stopped hanging out with my friends from college. I never talked about school, my classes, or any kind of award or recognition I got for my grades. But that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to control everything I did. Everyone I talked to. But it wasn’t enough.”

- “When did he start hitting you?”

- “He didn’t.”- my wife replies and shakes her head.- “He never raised his hand to me… not until the end at least. Instead, he isolated me. I barely even saw my family anymore. Not even my closest friends were safe. Mikey and Frank realized something was wrong… but…”

- “But you somehow got out of that relationship. How?”- Cat walks towards my wife and stares at her. (Y/N) sighs and closes her eyes for a moment.

- “My dad… he tried to talk to me about my boyfriend. He noticed things were not ok. I had moved out of their house already, and we barely saw each other anymore. So… he told me he thought Arthur wasn’t right for me. At first, I didn’t believe him. I thought he was just being an ass because he loved me and he was jealous.”

- “I hate this.”- Mikey mumbles, eyes filled with tears. - “You swore you weren’t talking about this with anyone!”

- “She has your wife’s sister, I’m trying to save her! So your brother raped me! There! I said it!”

- “Chipmunk, stop talking, now.”- I demand and move closer to my wife. Mikey bursts into tears and Frank hugs him.

- “No, don’t stop. Give me your phone.”- my wife does and Cat diales.- “Look, I’ll release their families as soon as you finish this story.”

(Y/N) off the tears that fall down her cheek and looks at Cat, and for once, I don’t think she is trying to read if she is lying. She is connecting with her.

- “My dad talked to me one day. We had a heart-to-heart, and after some time I realized Arthur wasn’t good for me, so I ended things. Of course, he didn’t take it well… and he hit me and raped me.”

- “And you…”- Cat stares at (Y/N) with a smirk. She is enjoying every second of this, rejoicing in her pain.

- “I still couldn’t legally carry a gun so…”- there’s a deep silence for a moment. I don’t move, I just stare at (Y/N) thinking there is nothing she can say that will stop me from loving her.- “So my dad took the blame. He said he walked into him hurting me and shot him…”

- “It was self-defense… he was hurting you.”- I whisper and look at my wife. She didn’t deserve any of that at such a young age.

- “How did it feel killing him? Did you enjoy it?”

- “I didn’t kill him, Cat. I shot his leg and called my dad. He called the ambulance… and he fixed everything.”

- “Well, aren’t you daddy’s little girl”- Cat chuckles and turns to me.- “You really have a type, don’t you?”

- “He helped me. Got him behind bars and made sure he was never going to hurt me again. There! That’s my story. Now you know…”

- “Now you all know… and your friendship is doomed.”- Cat replied and grinned.

- “Why is our friendship doomed, Cat?”- my wife asks- “Mikey knew this whole story.”

- “He did… but he didn’t know this: what I did took me zero planning. Less than a week and I destroyed your lives. Anyone at any time can hurt your family and extended family ‘cause you and Spencer caused so much pain to so many psycho killers like me, anyone can seek revenge. Leaving the FBI doesn’t even matter ‘cause you are in too deep already.”

(Y/N)’s cell phone rings she rushes outside without saying another word, Mikey and Frank following her immediately. Cat stares at me with an evil grin.

- “I win.”

And I feel like I just lost so much. 

Previous chapter | Next chapter

[nightlyrequiem]

The Canary Cage

Chapter 2. Collector

Masterlist AO3 Next Previous

w/c- 3,402

One meeting in a dingy bar on the cheap side of town. One sighting of you. The raw sadness in your eyes drew Valeria in. A parasite attracted to the taste of your tears. She'll chew you up and spit you out, but what she doesn't realise is you bite back.

A/N: Sorry it took me like 3 weeks to update.... was busy with requests and Be Still My Heart, and also laziness.

Tags/Warnings: Tags Will Be Updated as Story Progresses, WLW, Mental Illness, Unhealthy Relationships, Angst, Violence, Referenced Self-Harm, A Healthy Amount of Self-Hatred

༺☆༻༺☆༻༺☆༻༺☆༻

Valeria glances at the address she has written on a torn piece of paper. On the other side, a list of groceries crossed out. She looks up at the building. A small orange neon flower flashing on and off. Fireflower, 2776 8th Street. A seedy lounge she wouldn't look twice at. She rolls her eyes. Of course Andrez chose this place to meet.

She pushes through the door and squints. The place is dimly lit in a way Valeria thinks may not be intentional. There's a light haze of smoke throughout the room, and while Valeria herself likes a good smoke, she believes it to be rude to smoke up an entire room. The tables are full of drunk men, ogling the admittedly pretty woman who sings on stage. She eyes her too. At least this place has something going for it. 

Valeria cranes her neck and spots her guy at the back. Head lowered, an almost empty glass in hand. He runs his hand through his thinning hair and looks up, startled by the sight of Valeria. She frowns and moves towards him, taking a seat across from him.

"Valeria." He greets nervously. "Let me buy you a drink-"

"I'm here to talk, not drink." She says firmly.

Andrez shifts his gaze away. "Yes. Talk." 

Valeria leans forward, staring him down.

"You sought me out because you've heard of a rat in my ranks, yes?" She asks boredly. Knowing the answer already. Valeria knew about the rat almost as soon as it started squealing.

"I did." Andrez nods, looking at her. "Nicholas is giving away your trade routes and stash spots to smaller gangs, for a small price." He tells her, rubbing his hands together like a grimy little fly. She bets if she were to wipe the sweat from his forehead with a cloth, the cloth would come back dirty.

"Hm. Did he." Valeria says, not sounding at all surprised by his words.

Andrez studies her warily. Dark eyes flicking over her face. She's obviously not reacting the way he thought she would.

"I saw him." He insists. 

"Funny." She replies dryly. Hand lowering to her holster and unconsciously fiddling with the straps. "Because Nichloas said the same thing about you - only he had proof." Andrez pales, mouth ajar like a fish. Valeria narrows her eyes. "Why don't you go home, Andrez, rest up and we can talk about this later." She gives him a clear dismissal and he stumbles to his feet. She watches him leave knowing that he won't be returning again.

She watches him leave. Knowing full well that he won't be making it home tonight. She curls her lip. Greedy little fuck. This was a waste of her time. She shakes her head. Valeria should've just ignored his message to talk. She orders herself something to drink and looks to the only source of entertainment here. She likes the way the singer's dress glitters in the light. Her eyes drift to the other patrons. A few of them seem to share the same opinion.

She watches you sing for a little bit. Relaxed by the soothing sound of your voice. There's almost a melancholic quality to every note you sing. The smokey haze combined with the stage lights almost makes you look angelic. She tilts her head and downs her drink. You look so sad. Nothing that sings so prettily should ever look that way. She wouldn't mind having you for a night and seeing what other pretty sounds you make.

Valeria finds herself feeling disappointed when you finish and disappear to the back. She turns and flags down the bartender, ordering herself another drink. After a couple of minutes you walk out, wearing a large coat. You're stopped by some old guy, and she watches judgmentally. Sugar daddy? Pimp? Father?

You look like you're somewhere else, your eyes glazed in a way she's seen one too many time. Whatever could make a simple little lounge singer look like that, she doesn't know. You look like you need a drink. Valeria takes the initiative and flags down a waitress and buys you a drink. Maybe she'll get lucky tonight. Though it quickly becomes clear that a passionate night with a sad stranger isn't in her cards tonight. After a single, quick glance in her direction you push the drink towards the old man. Valeria frowns and stands, leaving the bar and her unfinished drink.

She visits again the next night. Not something she planned on doing but she was wondering if she'd see you again. You're pretty good at singing and not too bad on the eyes either. Apart from her having ulterior motives for wanting to see you, she's also scoping you out. She owns her own lounge. Something to make her influx of wealth less suspicious. She wouldn't mind having you on staff. She'd feel more comfortable if she had you under her control.

There's more business to be conducted that night though so she leaves early. Not before buying you some flowers and leaving them at the bar for you to receive. She walks down the cracked sidewalk. Stepping over a puddle of puke with indifference. Valeria gets into her car and drives off. Streetlights faintly illuminating the sidewalks and road.

She arrives at a small warehouse ten minutes outside of the city. Crawling with cartel working like one to cook and package up her drugs. On the walls a large cartoon hare stares down with one yellow eye. Harrison Hare Farm. She checks up on The Butcher. Watching her carefully slice open the light underbelly of a dead hare and stuffing in a few small baggies of coke. She gets to work on sewing it back up to be shipped off with untampered with hares. Where they'll be taken to American warehouses, and the discretely marked buckets will be taken by paid off employees to be sold throughout the states.

Diego is waiting for her in her small office, frowning severely.

"There's still a leak." Diego grumbles. Crossing the room to her. Valeria walks around him and runs her finger over the well-loved spines of books collecting dust on the shelf.

"We got rid of the leak." She says dismissively.

"No, jefe," Diego presses. Valeria turns her head, her dark brown eyes burning into his. "We got rid of Andrez but someone's still talking. One of my pigs told me that his superior got a tip about this warehouse. They're getting their warrants in order so they can raid it."

That catches Valeria's attention fully.

"When?" She asks. She looks around. She's going to have to cease all production here for the time being.

"I'm not sure. He says his boss didn't tell anyone about it in the first place." He replies.

"He must have, otherwise we wouldn't be hearing about it." She snaps at him. Valeria scowls. "We need to empty the place of anything illegal tonight." She decides reluctantly.

Diego hesitates, looking unsure. "Tonight is kind of quick, no?" He asks.

Valeria glares at him, it's a reasonable question, she supposes. She has to stop herself from hurling the thickest, heaviest book on the shelf at him.

"Don't question me, just get all the equipment and drugs out of here by tomorrow, Diego." She says lowly.

"... Yes, Valeria." He agrees. Valeria can tell that he disagrees but as long as he keeps it to himself and continues to follow orders then she doesn't care all that much.

"Before you leave, do you know who the leak might be?" She asks. 

He looks at her. "No, it could be Nichloas though, it's possible both him and Andrez were rats."  Valeria suspected it herself. 

"Hm." She responds. "We'll keep an eye on him then." She says. Valeria turns away and waves a hand. "You may go." She needs to get started on clearing up the office of anything incriminating. 

Valeria was right to clear out the warehouse. The next day at noon the police - the ones Valeria doesn't have paid off - stormed through the place and turned it upside-down looking for anything they could. She watches with detached satisfaction as they found nothing. 

It will be a while before she makes use of that warehouse again. Knowing that the police will have it under watch. Valeria doesn't consider it to be that big of a problem. She has other warehouses with other labs. A well-endowed woman sets down a drink beside her, a friendly, playful smile on her lips. Valeria takes the drink and sips it, watching another woman on stage. Her voice is strong and sweet. Around the room patrons watch and simply listen as they mingle with one another. The Canary Cage, previously a failing business under a different name, flourishes under Valeria's ownership. It's not the only lounge with singers but hers has the prettiest.

Her thoughts, like they seem to usually do as of late, stray back to you. She'd like to see you on her stage in better lighting. Now that she has some free time to think about anything other than work, she allows herself to wonder what you may be doing at this very moment.

She knows she's straying into dangerous territory. Valeria can never have normal relationships with people. There's never that healthy level of detachment needed to make things work. Valeria is an animal that must eat every last part of her partner until there's nothing left to save. She doesn't like not knowing what's going on. It's like an itch beneath her skin and the only way to relieve it is by knowing everything she can. 

The temporary moment of tranquility and relaxation is interrupted as the doors swing open. She straightens defensively like a cat raising it's hackles as a band of cops walk in. The bouncer intercepts them but can only do so much to keep them out. They shove a piece of paper in his face and he reluctantly steps his hulking body to the side. Casting a dark glance towards Valeria. The patrons, consisting mostly of Valeria's men give the cops aggressive and furtive looks.

They approach her and her heart pounds. Her fingers brush over the edge of her gun. Arresting her will come with a price, she can guarantee that. She prepares herself to meet them head on but they walk right past her. She turns and watches them approach her bartender. He frowns, becoming increasingly agitated as they speak to him and finally arrest him.

"I didn't do anything!" He shouts, struggling as they force him against the counter and cuff him. "I didn't do anything!" Valeria stands and stalks up to them.

"What the hell are you doing?" She snaps. The one in charge turn to her, face dark with dislike.

"I'm sure you knew already, Valeria, but this man is being charged with possession and intent to sell of illegal substances as well as gang affiliation." He tells her, looking her right in the eye.

Valeria keeps her face straight. Not giving anything away.

"And do you have any evidence, officer, or is this a baseless assumption?" She curls her lip at him.

The officer leans closer to her, his coffee breath washing over her face. "We had an anonymous tip and seized drugs from his apartment." He murmurs. "We'll be taking him in for questioning." He adds, watching her closely.

His words bring her discomfort, but she doesn't let it show. He's trying to scare her into revealing herself but she won't play this game. She's had enough of men trying to intimidate her into submission.

"Hope he tells you all you need to know officer," She says mockingly, brows raising with faux sympathy. "It'll be mind blowing, I'm sure."

The man sniffs and jerks away. "Let's go." He snaps at his men. She watches them drag out her bartender. 

Valeria decides to pay the Fireflower a visit. Hoping you're working tonight. Valeria parks and gets out. Shoving her keys into her pocket and entering the building. You're on stage once again, in a very short dress. Tonight isn't all that bad, it seems. She stakes out an empty table and seats herself. Allowing the smoothness of your voice to flow over like water. Closing her eyes and letting you pull her deeper.

"He's my man, we're hand in hand," You murmur into the mic. "to hell and back, and I'll love him like no one else can."

Valeria feels like a cobra being charmed. Though a small, ugly thing blooms inside of her. Jealousy and hatred as you sing about a man. She's aware it's irrational, she holds no real claim to you, and if you didn't like women then she couldn't change that, she also just... doesn't care. Valeria does nothing if not constantly indulge herself.

You bat your lashes and pout and sway with the mic. She thinks again that this place really isn't good enough for you. She looks around compulsory and spots that old man from the other night. Her mood souring further. She really wants to know who he is and why he's important to you. She gets up and approaches him, taking a seat nearby. His eyes are glazed and half closed. She feels mild disgust at the pathetic and vulnerable state this man lets himself be in. No self-respect or pride. She eyes his almost empty glass and waves down the bartender. The same young man she left the flowers with.

"Get him another of what he ordered." She mutters, slipping him a few bills.

Soon enough, another golden beverage is placed before the old man and his eyes clear.

"She's quite the singer." Valeria comments. The man swivels his head and looks at her. 

"What?" He asks.

Valeria bites back her annoyance at having to repeat herself. "She's quite the singer." She repeats loudly. The man smiles and Valeria flinches, nearly recoiling at the state of his teeth. Yellowed with rot and cracking.

"She sure is." He nods. "Couldn't be prouder seeing her on stage. She used to run around the tables when she was a girl and harass the singers on break." He chuckles, then leans forward, his breath harassing her. "She used to be so tone deaf but like I always told her, singing's like riding a bike. Just keep at it and you'll eventually get the hang of it. She'd always grumble at me in the manner most teenagers do. Stubborn as a mule she is." He rambles.

Valeria feels a pang of regret. She didn't think someone who looked half unconscious could talk so much.

"... Mhm." She replies. She glances back at you. Drinking in your glowing visage. "You her father?" She asks.

The man sighs. "In all but blood. I'd never tell her, but I've always sort of thought of her as my daughter. I didn't do good by my first one you see. I'm making it up to him-" He points upwards, talking to a barely listening Valeria. "-by being kinder to her."

Valeria, hearing everything she needs to, tunes him out. No longer deeming him a threat therefore no longer deeming him relevant. She rests her chin her palm and enjoys the sight of you singing. Wanting to pluck you off the stage and pin your limbs down like a butterfly for her to hang on her wall. She studies you intently, noticing that beneath the smile and concealer, you look exhausted. Some people remain eternally tired no matter how much sleep they get.

Wednesday is a good day. Collection day. Where a bunch of Valeria's dealers go out to designated sectors to collect the set 'safety fee.' Nothing in life is free, and neither is protection. With her bartender behind bars, she's short a collector. She hasn't had the time to appoint a new one so she takes on his sector herself. The Fare Heaven Apartments are the last on her list. Pushing open the cracked glass door she begins her rounds. Collecting money from the downtrodden residents. She knocks on the 4th room of the 5th floor and waits. Growing impatient after a minute of silence. She raises her fist to knock again when the door swings open. You adjust the robe over your chest and fall still at the sight of her. Clearly not expecting to see her. Though clearly recognizing her, something that delights Valeria a little. Though her delight is dimmed by the less-than friendly expression on your face.

Similarly, Valeria finds herself being surprised. She had made an educated guess that you probably lived somewhere on the west side, but for whatever reason it never occurred to her that you lived in a collection zone. You hold out your hand, unlike the other residents who put their money into baggies or envelopes, you don't bother with the courtesy. She takes the money, letting her hand linger on yours for longer than what's considered polite.

You retract your hand. 

"Where's the other guy?" You ask. Subtly, but not enough to escape her notice, shutting the door a little. She feels irritated that you're asking after the bartender. Why do you care and why do you want to know? She looks you over, at the little feminine robe you're wearing. Were you wearing it for him?

"He's been... relieved of his service." She replies calmly. You stare at each other for a few seconds before you begin to close the door. Without thinking her hand shoots out, stopping you. 

"What?" You ask harshly, frowning at her.

She blinks at you. "I need to count it first." She says.

You frown at her. "The other guy never counted." You say, hands tightening on your door.

Valeria lets go of the door and sifts through the money you gave her. 

"He should have." She says, unperturbed. She almost hopes you're short the proper amount so she can have an excuse to heckle you. It's all there though. Down to the last cent. She begrudgingly shoves the money into her pocket and nods at you.

"I wouldn't dare miss a payment, Valeria." You say icily. Slamming the door in her face. Such disgust and vitriol. You're a lot less friendly now and she finds it turns her on a little. Fighting is all Valeria knows. It's practically her love language. She turns away and leaves. Content with knowing where you live. 

Valeria goes to your place of work the next night as well. Watching you sing and staying till the end this time. You disappear around back and emerge in that big, dramatic coat of yours. She downs her drink and puts on her own coat, following you out of the bar. You stop beside your bus stop.

"Why are you following me?" You ash harshly, turning to face her.

"I want to talk to you." She replies, smiling placatingly. "I have an offer."

"I'm not interested." You say flatly, turning your back to her. Valeria walks around you.

"It's a job offer, at my lounge." She continues anyway, ignoring the annoyed look on your face. "You deserve to make more then 7000 pesos, don't you think?" She murmurs, inching closer.

For a split second she catches a flicker of temptation in your eyes before you forcibly extinguish it.

"Blood money." You sniff haughtily.

Valeria furrows her brows. "Whatever do you mean?" She asks. Unsure if she's playing with you or warning you to watch yourself.

"Nothing." You mutter angrily. "I don't want anything to do with you."

"Why not?" She asks. Frustrated. "You're turning down the opportunity for a better life, to work somewhere you might actually like, and for what? Morals?" She laughs at you.

You scowl at her, glancing up briefly as lightning silently flashes.

"I like working at the Fireflower." You say defensively.

"No you don't." Valeria scoffs. "You hate it here."

"I'd hate working for you more." You snap. Looking down the street as the bus approaches. "Besides, what's the point in making more if you're just going to take it again?" You reach into your pocket to grab the needed change. Valeria silently hangs back and watches you board the bus. Not even giving her a single look back. She thinks you're really dumb for turning her down. If you want to be difficult fine. Valeria can play that game too. You made your move now it's her turn.

[vrischlatt]

I DO NOT LIKE WILBUR. I may not like shubble either, but here the thing even if i dont like her...

Im not a fucking wilbur supporter.

Wilbur is a shitty person, and the fact it took Shleby, a person whos had a LOT of holes poked into her story, but probably still was abused in the same way Wilbur abused everyone around him, ESPECIALLY TOMMY AND QUACKITY.

Ive had people tell me theres a lot of suspicious patturns of behevoir in the dynamic of Tommy and Wilbur that scream heyyyy Tommy, especially when he was a minor should NOT be left alone with this Wilbur guy! The extents of which we will NEVER know, because while its easy for Tommy to dunk on Dream, he could NEVER dunk on Wilbur.

Shelby was a wake up call for Tommy. Tommy probably needs to go to serious fucking therapy after stepping back and reexamining his dynamic with Wilbur. Because the abuse is subtle and incased DEEPLY into Tommy's psyche. His humor is of im better than you, im richer than you, woman arent funny, drugs, is EXTRMELY influenced by Wilbur's own "humor" and shitty behvoir, which people are quick to call out, but conviently ignore when Tommy does it.

Its too the point that early showings of the how to be a millionaire had hints that Wilbur was ACTUALLY meant to be refrenced in the show, by name, but the drama dropped and he probably was hastily written out of it, implying the show was based off his quote book, which he co wrote with wilbur he makes an appearence in the book but it was his book first and formost.

Like that one clip for example, of Wilbur barking at Tommy to shut up, and instead of protesting or cracking a joke like he would do with ANYONE ELSE, he... shuts up. Uncharacteristically, shuts up. Apparently further context was he may or may not be talking about something he and Wilbur did, and Wilbur refused to let Tommy spill the beans on what happened and NO ONE TO THIS DAY KNOWS WHAT HE WAS GONNA SAY BUT HIM AND WILBUR.

Also obviously the smashing the hand with the foot, and he was oddly harsher if not out righr crueler when he didnt think he was on live stream with Tommy, changing his tune when he realized thousands of people were watching him.

Its got a lot people wondering what hes like off camera honestly and KNOWS hes off camera.

Its so bad its lead me to believe Wilbur... wasnt roleplaying in the skilled actor who plays a facade way, but was playing as a self insert, as himself, and could avertly be more open about who he was by playing it off as a character.

Speaking of him as a roleplayer he was NOT good to his fellow CCs as roleplayers, and was nortious for trying to force ideas on them- sich as fundys character being a girl because he wanted a daughter irl apparently that was the reason i guess so he forced fundy to be his kid for some reason and to be his daughter, which Fundy wanted very little part in, hence where him being trans orginal came from, it was him trying to met part way with Wilbur, and even protested to having his character be a minor.

Which yknow, some of the fandom FUCKING IGNORED.

Hes also done similar to Quackity, plus some. Hes honestly an ass friend to Quackity. And i feel so fucking bad for Quackity.

Also if he cant be the one writing the lore, or cant control other peoples lore he generally looses interest. See point: as DSMp continued and more CCs took control of their stories, he kinda either left and generally stopped streaming or gave his character generally less to do.

Also he generally refused to the show up for Karl's side series, a series even SCHLATT who killed off his character showed up for. So. Yeah. Also on QSMP? Basically abandoned it, even after Quackity lore baited him to join SO HARD MAN. I honestly do NOT like Tallulah and hot take dont think she should ever been added and is a mistake on Quackity's part. She was ALWAYS doomed to have been abandoned by wilbur and everyone should have seen it coming. I hold no sympathy for those who genuinely thought he was ever coming back.

Sorry not sorry, minus Quackity. Im sorry to him because unlike fans he was personally affected by this, even if i seem fit to critize him for it, i do so gently and knly hold sympathy for him on this matter. No one else. Minus the egg who yknow played the egg, and got played by Wilbur. Even if i dont like the egg, being in that situation where you have to be the bait to get wilbur with his self centered short ass attention span fucking ass is NOT a fun postion to be in. Your fucked from the start and they didnt even seem to realize it until too late either.

Wilbur is just generally a bitch, and im glas i never joined the fandom for Lmanberg. I joined for Las Nevadas, for the eggpire for Manberg, not jokeass over here.

And look, im not here to bash on his music. I like his music and i do not give two shits if you still listen to his music. Either through him directly or from someone else reuploading his works or a remix of it or whatever. Look i get it, his music is like the one redeeming thing about it, even if its not a good enough of redeemingly quality to ignore and forgive all the fucking assholary this man gets up to.

Hes EXTRMELY dickish, and whether or not you believe shleby or not should not subtract or distract you from the fucking fsct hes NEVER a good person, hes just a likable person who is good at charming people.

Worst still is hes probably actually happy all of this happened because he doesnt have put up a facade and "deal" with people he clearly has no respecr for and never did, and treat them like accommodations he has to put up and he ignores as his own convience.

[nevesmose]

Separation 11347

This was, by Trazyn's infallible reckoning, his eleven thousand three hundred and forty-seventh divorce from Orikan. The Diviner, on the other hand, was adamant that it was in fact only their eleven thousand three hundred and forty-sixth. This dispute was what had caused the current divorce.

At first he had settled contentedly into his usual divorce routine, entering his meticulously-preserved time loop of a "Happy Divorce" party plucked from the Terran city-state of Nova Yoruk in early M3 as the Imperium kept its years.

As had been the case so many times before, the Lord of Solemnace basked over and over again in the reassurance of the assembled middle-aged humans that he was indeed so much better off without that asshole in his life, rounding off the festivities with a cake depicting a miniature confectionery figurine of Trazyn using a guillotine on a similarly-constructed sugar-based effigy of Orikan.

It was all very gratifying, and he was certain that when the amusement faded he would return to find Orikan waiting for him apologetically, his eminently bullyable faceplate resembling a weeping juvenile felid.

It was, however, not to be. He returned to the Galleries to find no trace whatsoever of Orikan. He was so disconcerted that he even briefly considered retrieving his much-prized clone of the primarch Fulgrim from stasis, but decided against it. It had, after all, only been a few subjective decades since he had placed the clone into a detailed diorama of the genuine being's final battle with his erstwhile companion Ferrus Manus for enrichment purposes. He had been thoroughly pleased with himself for coming up with entertainment of such realism and, judging by his mute tears of joy, so too was the clone.

What a wonderful caregiver I am, he had thought, jauntily walking away. Perhaps he and Orikan should adopt, which when used by Trazyn the Infinite is a word which means kidnap, an Astartes or Aeldari together.

Time passed and with no sign of Orikan's return, Trazyn felt it justifiable to seek other outlets for his multifarious urges. After exhausting every category on Cronhub and getting banned from Nemesorindr, he arose to find that the necrodermis of his lower limbs had spontaneously reformed itself into the shape of a baggy, ill-maintained example of the Terran garment known as sweatpants.

This could not stand. He resolved that he would start A Project, an undertaking of such majesty and glory that no one, least of all that cycloptic fool Orikan, could deny him the attention he deserved.

After brief forays into stop-motion animation and painting miniature Space Marines (accomplished by shrinking normal Astartes through arcane technosorcery and ignoring the resulting high-pitched noises as he applied pigment of a much too viscous consistency to their battleplate) his thoughts returned once more to his display of the battle between the primarchs on Isstvan V.

Theirs was a tragic tale of heartfelt companionship severed by corruption and betrayal. He himself had mentally projected several hundred phaeronfics about them to the great repository of the Necron race whose name, although untranslatable into any other language, was best rendered as The Sarcophagus-Belonging-To-Us-Alone, and some of them had even received multiple scarabs of approval from the discerning audience entrapped there forever.

Surely, he reasoned with the confidence of a being who had long since activated the developer console of his necrodermis body and manually increased its confidence, intelligence and charisma variables to 100, this meant that no one other than he could restore their friendship.

And so, in single-minded pursuit of compassion and friendliness, the Archaeovist and his forces wrought a swathe of destruction across the galaxy.

A foray into the Eye of Terror itself resulted in the capture of Fulgrim through the use of a vast two-pronged stick to pin the writhing daemon prince to the ground where he had been basking one day, while the sacrifice of his entire collection of ancient Terran doujinshis to the haemonculi of Commorragh itself had given him forbidden knowledge sufficient to wrest back the very soul of Ferrus Manus himself and place it into a suitably prepared necron host body via the biomorphic resonance of the necrodermis which had coated his hands in life.

Finally, the moment of glory came. The daemon Fulgrim and the metallically resurrected Ferrus Manus were placed into the same containment chamber and -

It was not at all what Trazyn had hoped. After a monumental bout of hand-to-hand combat lasting for hour upon hour, the two primarchs had settled into an uneasy stalemate, in the sense that Fulgrim was currently coiled around a light fixture on the ceiling and Ferrus had run out of objects to throw at him.

"You're even uglier now than you were when you had flesh," Fulgrim hissed venomously.

"And you were more of a snake then than you are now," Ferrus shot back, the frozen inexpressiveness of his necrodermis faceplate matching the famously stone-faced countenance he had displayed in life.

Fortunately Trazyn, who never made a mistake of any kind whatsoever, had prepared for such an eventuality. A concealed slot opened in the ceiling of the containment chamber, dislodging Fulgrim from his perch, and through the opening there descended a vast garment of woven silver-metallic fabric, emblazoned with inscrutable Necron symbols and sized in such a way as to accomodate the bodies of both primarchs.

"This is your get along shirt," Trazyn said, his voice amplified throughout the containment chamber. "You will wear it."

[buddiesmutslut]

OKAY OKAY OKAY YOU GUYS BUT WHAT IF!!

What if, in the last few minutes of 7x10, we cut to Frank in his office. The camera is focused on him so we don’t know who’s on the couch across from him.

He’s mentioning the last time the person was there, that they were talking about intimacy & their partner and worries about the future (throwback to Athena on the first episode & Bobby in the cruise ship arc), and Frank asks the person how it’s going…

AND THEN IT PANS TO EDDIE IN THE ROOM LOOKING UNCOMFORTABLE AND UPSET AND KIND OF A MESS AND HE SAYS SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF: “I realized I couldn’t commit to Ana or Marisol in the way I thought I should because they’re not what I wanted. I don’t think I like women.” A pause. A breath. “And I think that’s because I’m in love with my best friend.”

END SEASON ROLL CREDITS YOU’LL HAVE TO COME BACK IN S8 TO SEE HOW IT PLAYS OUT.

[fingertipsmp3]

Also I feel like I have to say this but FUCK Toy Story 4. Awful movie, bad execution, poor excuse for a sequel.

[ratatatastic]

do you write fic on ao3?

unfortunately for everyone involved i do!

[corioliseffect]

new curse dropped: having fic ideas but i refuse to write rpf/don't think i even could

[cowboy-robooty]

okay. calling all yandereheads. does anyone know any stories that has a yandere but like they have a sidekick (that doesnt really want to be their sidekick but is forced into it and decides to make the most of their situation and ends up acting like a silly friend to them) and at first they hate their sidekick and want their ass dead but keep em around bc their sidekick helps them stalk their crush but then the story does a switcharoo where the yandere realizes sidekick is their #truelove and goes yandere for sidekick

[match-your-steps]

just read a review of the lego movie from 2014 and it is genuinely a horrible piece of literature and through perusing the comments underneath the review, I have gained an intense dislike of the reviewer. it's not even that I liked the lego movie and he didn't it's just that a lot of the stuff he says is factually incorrect, really stupid-sounding, or he doesn't provide any real reason, and in the comments, he reacts to even the friendliest and politest constructive criticism as if it's a personal attack on him.

[gildedmuse]

So, I just know all of Tumblr was wondering, "hey, you remember that really weird ZoLaw fan with the annoyingly overly stylized post? I wonder if she's seen this and if she has any theories or thoughts, an observation or two?"

Well, allow me to set your wandering mind at ease, fictional Tumblr fan. The answer is: No. No, I really don't.

I have like three hundred.

[I also spent time just trying to track down as many translations as possible. Is Tera A Criminal's Daughter or The Daughter Of Thieving Bandits! These are CLEARLY separate things and can ENTIRELY change how her utter nonpresence in Zoro's life shaped him! Though I can take comfort in knowing that, regardless of what kind of crimes her father was committing they were more important than anything his daughter ever did in her entire life.]

And, hey, as might as well jump right into that whole mess.

1. Wait, Zoro's mom is dead? Thank goodness, I was worried Oda forgot one!

(AKA: Stop. Murdering. Moms.)

I'll go first, I don't mind saying when I was wrong. True, in the past I may have suggested that the vast majority of female characters in One Piece come off as ever so slightly, "leaning into sexist tropes with unadulterated joy; it's the misogynistic tropes equivalent of a child running naked through a grocery store. It's right there, everyone sees it, yet people shut up and continue shopping in part because, well, these days you just expect most people to cover that junk! What would you even say? And if you DO speak up and call out the inappropriate, be prepared for blank stares and tantrums; but THEY don't mind! THEY don't think it's wrong! You're just being mean!"

More or less a direct quote.

However, I see now that I rushed to judgement and the reality of the situation is far more nuanced. With that in mind, I was just wondering if someone could help answer some of the questions I have.

Like: Why does Oda believe that it's illegal for (maternal) female characters to survive other character's backstories?

More importantly, why hasn't someone just reached out to explain the misconception!? It can't be that difficult. If nothing else, just have a lawyer or judge or other expert in censorship on hand. Or is the one of those cases where back in highschool his friends made something up and then kept pretending it was real to see if he'd believe you and not only did he fall for it, it took over 20 years before he learned that, what, no that's not illegal. That would be crazy if it were an actual law. Cause you know, after the first 10 years I think yeah you have to just lean into it. Pretend it's a creative decision on your part and definitely not because you were terrified of being sentenced to a slow and humiliating public death.

Just to be clear that's definitely what's up, right? I mean, I'm struggling to think of another reason....able excuse why a story that I really enjoy keeps playing the same old sexist tropes cards again and again to the point of absurdity. It would just help if I had a valid excus- explanation. I almost mistyped the word explanation.

....

....

So I imagine it went like.

"That's the third mangaka they've had to Publically Execute this week!"

"They've started taking this law way more serious lately."

"This one really deserved it though! I heard his main character has a mother in her late forties!"

"That does seem old to have your first child."

"No, he's the middle of three and 22 years old. The story even has flashbacks of defining moments in his childhood and never once did she try to sacrifice herself for him, get murdered by his enemies, or die in meaningless unrelated accidents."

"Damn, that's cold to be there for all the protagonist core moments and not die and help him develop and grow a character? They must have a very antagonistic relationship. Is she actually the villain."

"Not that we know, and when they asked about this being a possible plot twist since - obviously if she's evil no laws are being broken."

"Well, of course, that's the whole reason Statue 2-dash-57 exists; if creators can show they have consistently been building up to a surprise twist then the female character in question can continue to live so long as she continues to be unrepentant and unlikable until the resolution of her arch by the protagonist."

"That's the thing! Under oath not only did man present no evidence to support her identity as a secret villain, he went on the record stating he wanted to depict their relationship as one of a normal modern 20 year old and his mother."

"That can't be true! What publishing company would even print that!?"

"It gets worse. I told you he was a middle child? Well, according to those who've read the actual manga, his younger sister was really sick as a child."

"Oh, well, at least-"

"It was just a fish allergy. She's perfectly fine."

"Sometimes I feel this law is unnecessarily harsh but.... Then you hear stories like that, and you realize that some people really are monsters."

[bookwyrminspiration]

I wrote “et tu, Brute?” on the class whiteboard as tomorrow’s phrase of the day, no reason in particular…

[andiloveyoutooangel]

"I know that face." Her voice is low, raspy from sleep, but still playful. He floats above her, caught in the act. Morning sunlight slits through the cracks in the blinds he's trying to close. Whatever doesn't fall on his skin lands like patchwork on the blanket she's curled up in, her tired eyes meeting his. "What are you worrying about now, hmn?"

"Ah, désolé, did I look worried just then?" Despite his self-assured tone, his expression betrays his sheepishness, as he ducks down to press a kiss to her forehead, "I only wanted to close the blinds so the sun wouldn't wake you before your alarm. I guess, uh, I woke you before your alarm, instead...?"

She's been so tired lately, is what he doesn't say, so busy and drained of energy. He wants her to be able to rest fully, as much as she needed, in the way where he'd threaten a solar eclipse if the sun dared disturb her on her first day off in so long.

"Taylor, you're so dear to me. Thank you." She says, simply, sincerely. Her smile is warmer than sunrays, "It's okay, you don't have to. Sun's good for me, in the winter."

"Ah. Okay, okay." So he leaves the blinds, slightly ajar. No solar eclipse then, if his love prefers the light. The dark of the room is warmly hued, tinged with mellowed gold. He hovers awkwardly, wings slowly flapping to keep him uncertainly afloat.

Wordlessly, she raises a wing and an arm towards him, an invitation, a request. Slowly, carefully, he lowers himself beside her. With much less care, she unceremoniously tosses the blanket over him so they're sharing, and he grins, ducking his chin beneath the covers.

He lets a wing drape over her, covering his charge, his human, his partner. In turn, she intertwines a hand with him and closes her eyes. Safe, content, trusting.

"I love you." She says, squeezing his hand gently.

"I love you." He returns, and they doze until the alarm wakes them properly.

[paragonrobits]

some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:

Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.

The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.

There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.

Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).

Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.

On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.

Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."