#writing with a learning disability
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i hate to say it because i'm neurodivergent and a chronic-pain-haver but like... sometimes stuff is going to be hard and that's okay.
it's okay if you don't understand something the first few times it's explained to you. it's okay if you have to google every word in a sentence. it's okay if you need to spend a few hours learning the context behind a complicated situation. it's okay if you need to read something, think about it, and then come back to re-read it.
i get it. giving up is easier, and we are all broken down and also broke as hell. nobody has the time, nobody has the fucking energy. that is how they win, though. that is why you feel this way. it is so much easier, and that is why you must resist the impetus to shut down. fight through the desire you've been taught to "tl;dr".
embrace when a book is confusing for you. accept not all media will be transparent and glittery and in the genre you love. question why you need everything to be lily-white and soft. i get it. i also sometimes choose the escapism, the fantasy-romance. there's no shame in that. but every day i still try to make myself think about something, to actually process and challenge myself. it is hard, often, because of my neurodivergence. but i fight that urge, because i think it's fucking important.
especially right now. the more they convince you not to think, the easier it will be to feed you misinformation. the more we accept a message without criticism, the more power they will have over that message. the more you choose convenience, the more they will make propaganda convenient to you.
#personal#this also applies to ai art and stuff. like#artists and crafters and non-ai users took the time space and energy to learn things#bc we are actually LEARNING them. and it takes actual SKILL.#i know the skill is long to learn and often annoying. i still get frustrated about my art bc it's not good#but i do it myself. bc i respect that it IS a skill.#ai writing a book for you is not YOU learning how to write a book. and it took me a lifetime to write a book. i get it.#ai drones running a marathon don't run the marathon for u#there are things i cannot due to my disability. lol marathons being 1. there are things u can't do either#this is about stretching yourself in the ways that are healthy and good for you.#ai learning for u in ur classes is NOT healthy. u are not learning.#''but otherwise i won't pass''#first of all that's a self-defeating prophecy. and many of us who thought we wouldn't pass DID pass#and secondly. CHALLENGE urself. ur paying for college anyway. don't pay just to let AI learn for u.
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i used a rng for an arcanaswap au just to try help with artblock and it immediately took over my life completely
#learning disability is all fun and games until you have to write big blocks of texf#i feel like every time i read over the profiles i find new spelling mistakes i just cant be assed anymore#persona 5#p5#p5r#goro akechi#p5 morgana#morgana persona 5#haru okumura#makoto niijima#yusuke kitagawa#ann takamaki#akira kurusu#futaba sakura#sumire yoshizawa#ryuji sakamoto#kasumi yoshizawa#ren amamiya#arcanaswap#arcana swap#*bloody at the mouth* im Normal About This#gryffin's aus#asau#chef recommended
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au where Li Yu teaches Prince Jing modern CSL, based on @skygemspeaks's au over here because after seeing how eagerly Li Yu takes to teaching him pinyin in bk4 I think they both deserve it!
#dtbpf#disabled tyrant's beloved pet fish#li yu#prince jing#mu tianchi#(although this is asl not csl because I couldn't find a good english to csl dictionary online)#li yu is telling prince jing that the sixth prince is sus and prince jing is asking him to tell him what he means#or so i hope. apologies if i fucked up any of the signs or grammar 🙏#listen prince jing would love this for so many reasons#a language he can fluently speak without needing to write to be understood?#an excuse to spend more time with all li yu's attention on him?#a secret language that literally know one else knows that he can gossip/plot in?#there's no down sides!!!#wang xi would also be thrilled - he and prince have a functional way of communicating but to have something way more in depth?#that other's could potentially learn? everything he could ask for!#meanwhile all the other scheming princes are paranoid as FUCK over this new development#my art
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PSA to authors writing dyslexic characters (and just people in general) that most dyslexic people don’t experience letters “jumping” or moving around on the page.
I myself am NOT dyslexic, but my mom and brother are, and I work full-time with dyslexic children. The research on literacy and dyslexia is constantly changing, but nothing I have learned supports letters floating, moving, or jumping, nor have any of my students reported experiencing something like that. It is a part of some other disorders and may occur for some dyslexic people, but it is not the most common presentation.
What I do see very often in my students: b/d/p/q reversals (eg reading “pig” as “big”,) guessing words based on the initial letters (eg reading “spot” as “spin,”) and changing vowel sounds (eg, reading “bet” as “beet.”)
In terms of writing, I often see letter reversals outside of b/d - for example, students writing g or s backwards. I also see spelling errors that come from difficulty distinguishing similar sounds in words. An example of this would be a child spelling “train” as “chrain” or “clod” as “cod.”
I work with K-5th grade, where we spend most of our time working with one-syllable, short vowel words, but of course multisyllabic words with complex vowels (like “treatise” or “diorama”) will be even more difficult for dyslexic people and may be a struggle for dyslexic adults - and don’t even get me started on loanwords and other words that aren’t phonetic (chauffeur, government.)
#psa#stardust’s stuff#dyslexia#dyslexic#fanfiction#writers on tumblr#writing#writeblr#ao3 writer#writer stuff#learning disability#learning difficulties
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Whump that is about change. Whump that is about acceptance. Whump that is about adapting to loss. Whump where there is no rehabilitation, no getting back what’s gone. Sometimes things happen and there is no going back, there is no getting better. Sometimes the person that comes out the other side is different and they will never be the same again. Sometimes you need to grapple with the reality that most people don’t bounce back from traumatic brain injuries, from severe burns, from lost limbs and are their old selves ever again.
Whump that is about change, with no going back, and how the world won’t end because of it.
#whump#whump prompt#angst#disability#beans speaks#sorry for disability posting on whump#seen a few (very good!) prompts lately but they put such focus on…idk the ‘return to normal’#they like the angsty trauma but they don’t like the permenant disabiitiy or impairment.#it kind goes hand in hand w ye old ‘prosthetics don’t magically make you not disabled’ truth#idk. generally with brain damage you can only rehabilitate so much. the friends and family aren’t gonna wake up one day and the mc is Norma#they have to accept and learn the same way the mc has to accept and learn to live with their new limitations or perspective.#yeah permanent disability is tough to write about that’s why I like it in my whump. it’s cathartic for me as someone who’s disabled#you can have your fun fantasy everything got all better eventually stories those are fun sometimes too#but. just don’t forget that most people irl don’t get those miracles.
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every time someone infantilises viktor in a fanfic an angel loses its wings
#arcane#viktor arcane#jayvik#YALL SPECIFICALLY BC I LOVE JAYVIK BUT DEAR GOD#please able bodied ppl learn what the hell a disability is before writing#and then learn that being disabled doesn’t mean you can’t do anything#please#I’m begging#do you know how many fics I have stared at in horror after reading the way some ppl write him#immediate backspace out of the tab istg
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New shameless hc: mickey is dyslexic, like obviously not diagnosed, he probably doesn't even fully process there's anything going on, he's always had a hard time reading and writing, it's whatever, he dropped out of school in like 9th grade, he can read, it just takes him longer, but he's always been good at math, he's never had any issue solving a math problem, it comes to him without having to think, so what if he spells Gallagher wrong, Ian knew what he was trying to write, he's a little embarrassed when he spells some shit wrong (i.e. the open relationship scene were Mickey doesn't want to show Ian his paper even though he obviously wants to be monogamous)
#thinking about this while i struggle to write an article for work due to my own learning disabilities lol#shameless#mickey milkovich#gallavich#ian gallagher
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2024 Round-Up and Review
2024, aka The Year I Discovered I Love Drawing Baz With Long Hair.
But also.
Honestly?
(Yeah, I'm going to be honest. Yeah, it's going to be a long post. Buuuut it's my blog, so here we go!)
This past year was rough. Really rough. In many ways as difficult as 2020, and in some ways, even harder than that. I lost my specialized medical care after 2023, and my health tanked in 2024. Medication changes, chronic illness/pain, and the hardest thing of all was... this idea I seemed to have that if I could just fake it enough, I could make it. Like I could deny my disability into non-existence. Pretend it away.
Instead, I ended up pushing myself past the breaking point, with the worst possible timing ever.
And THEN (when I desperately needed to stop and rest), I packed up my life and moved across a continent. (I hadn't moved since college. So I thought I'd move and it'd be done. That was wrong. Ahem. I'm still moving in...)
But the GOOD that happened last year came in the form of friendship. That's not just a line. My friends were my lifeline. To those friends who stuck it out with me even when things were far from easy, thank you. You are the most incredible people I know, and your friendship has given me reasons and opportunities to feel joy and hope where I might not otherwise have done.
Okay. So. The ROUND-UP is... *drum roll*... Under the cut!
At first I was a bit bummed to see I'd only finished 9 pieces of art during the entire year. But since I am being honest... I know I did my best, and so clearly the best I could do last year was nine pieces of art. So many of those pieces were attached to amazing projects, though! I got to do several collaborations with some truly amazing human beings, and I also got to run my very first fest for the fandom! So I'm calling it good.
Now, finally, the art links:
(I won't be including works in progress on this list, as I still hope to finish them at some point XD)
January: Oh my God, January. I didn't finish anything in January, but I worked on a lot.
February:
Tis better to give than to receive - This was my contribution to Erotic Grope Fest, and it was my first time doing anything NSFW. It's pretty tame, all things considered, but I think it still fit the mission. Also ended up posting a high-res version of this on AO3. Because. I mean. Come on. XD
March:
Three lost boys (found) - I started out as a beta reader for @mooncello's inspired take on Neverland, but by the time I received chapter 2 I was very nearly begging to be able to illustrate it. I'd had this particular image in my mind after reading the matching scene in chapter one, but had tried to suppress the inspiration. Silly me. I'm so glad I gave in. This is a favorite of mine.
April:
Keeping Neverland - (Technically posted on Tumblr in May, but on AO3 in April, so...) Illustrating @mooncello's writing again, and this one was a challenge! But one I wholeheartedly embraced. I wanted to echo Baz's journey as an artist with my illustrations, so where I used pencil sketching for the chapter one illustration, I went for a finished charcoal drawing, here. Digital charcoal, it turns out, can be just as difficult as the real deal. Slightly less messy, though. (I'm very proud of this finished piece.) Also where I continued my exploration of Baz's long hair. XD
May:
A rough sketch for a rough night - It feels a little off to be posting this sketch in my art round-up, considering the emotional inspiration, but truth be told I ended up liking this sketch quite a lot. I also learned a couple things, from both the events of that night (not my finest moment) and the drawing of the sketch (hey putting my feelings into art is a good idea). So I think ultimately this little sketch deserves to be included on this list.
June:
Teenage Dream - I posted this on Tumblr in June, for my birthday, but I actually did the art at the beginning of the year for the Valentine's Day exchange on the Carry On server. I rarely finish anything to this degree, and am immensely proud of it. That said, I ended up using it for so many things last year, I'd be okay to not look at it again for awhile. (I called it "Teenage Dream" because it made me think of a daydream Baz might have had as a teenager - now made real with Simon by his side. Cause I'm a sucker for their romance >.> )
Illustration from The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch - So I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to earn a special preview of @monbons's story, but I knew I couldn't read it in pieces. So she let me read the whole thing. It was very cool. I read it all at once I think? And when I was done I crashed Monica's DMs to yell at her about it. But then I drew this picture. (While I was chatting with her, even, and casually asking her about cherry blossoms so I could draw them the way she imagined them. It was very fun.) Now we're friends. XD (Check out the fic - now posted in entirety!)
July: Uh. Migraines. Just migraines. I had to pull back from the fandom a lot, and stopped participating in a lot of online activities. Boo.
August: Sketched concepts for CORB, and packed.
September: I moved over 4000 miles.
October: Everything I worked on in October ended up debuting in...
November:
Carry On Through the Ages! Okay, as stressed and sick as I was, I have no regrets about taking on COTTA. It was AMAZING. So much wonderful content! It was SO GOOD to contribute to the fandom, and to do that with history geeking? Dream come true. I also dipped into my previous area of expertise (picture manipulation) and did some cursed paintings to promote it. Mona Baz, Stormchaser Gothic, Mademoiselle Wellbelove, and Iconic Icon Simon.
A Prophesied Rivalry - Another dream come true was collaborating with @monbons for COTTA! I loved talking ideas with her, and she was so supportive when I hit road blocks, too. I love Ancient Egyptian art, and this was as much a love letter to that ancient art style as it was to my beloved Snowbaz. (I did a ridiculous amount of research to do this piece.) (And now I have Egyptian Baz and Simon in my new apartment. Extreme Bonus.)
Snow on Ice Illustration - Getting paired with @leithillustration for CORB was like winning the creative collaboration lottery. Not only did they grasp my concept from the get-go, but they've taken it in a creative and exciting direction. Also, we've become good friends, which is the very best possible outcome for a collaboration. (You should check out their story if you haven't already!)
(Snow-kitty also got very sick at the end of November, which halted a lot of my progress on some WIPs. It was scary for a bit, but I am so happy to say he has fully recovered.)
December:
Snowflake Exchange presents More Than a Footnote - I kind of love that I started the year illustrating one of @mooncello's stories, and ended it with an illustration from another! I was so excited to pull Heath's name from the proverbial hat for the exchange. I'd wanted to draw something from More Than a Footnote since the first time Heath told me about it. I completely love Dev and Niall at this point, so I hope to play with them some more in the future! (BTW Heath I think you're one of my muses hope that's okay XD)
SO. Yeah, the year was often a hard one, but a lot of good happened in spite of all the bad. The good was even more valuable for daring to happen in the midst of so much blah. (And boy howdy, did I get a lot of material to learn from.)
In 2025, I think I'm going to focus more on accepting my limits. Like, I can still work on improving my health and functionality, but I really need to try and determine when I need to stop. That has its own learning curve, but I have to start somewhere! I'm also working on vision therapy, which I'm doing on my own since I can't afford the out-of-pocket expense. Still... So far, so good. Fingers crossed!
Creatively, I think 2025 will be the year where I get to work on projects I started in 2023 and 2024, and I find that quite exciting because those are ideas I genuinely loved. I also hope to bring some other ideas I've had for a very long time to life. (Finally.) I hope, hope, hope! And hey, if I get to do more collabs? That would be awesome, too. (Carry On Through the Ages will be returning, as well!)
Thank you to these lovely people for tagging me in on this round-up, and for remembering me despite my frequent absence!
@emeryhall, @rimeswithpurple, @prettygoododds, @artsyunderstudy, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii, @best--dress, @j-nipper-95, @roomwithanopenfire, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @imagineacoolusername, @mooncello, @whatevertheweather, @thewholelemon, @youarenevertooold, @monbons
And to everyone who is still tagging me on wipsday posts, other things, commented, any of that! Thank you. It means a lot to me. Hello's and How-Do's and general well-wishes to:
@drowninginships, @aristocratic-otter, @that-disabled-princess, @leithillustration, @bookish-bogwitch, @theimpossibledemon, @fiend-for-culture, @bazzybelle, @ic3-que3n, @blackberrysummerblog, @run-for-chamo-miles, @shrekgogurt, @confused-bi-queer, @hushed-chorus, @cutestkilla, @skeedelvee, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @wellbelesbian, @facewithoutheart, @ileadacharmedlife,, @raenestee, @supercutedinosaurs, @fatalfangirl, @palimpsessed, @martsonmars, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @theearlgreymage
And anyone else who actually read my extremely long post. XD
#Here's some fine print#brought to you by my insecurities!#I know I talk about my disabilities a lot#and my vision difficulties#but that's because they are both relatively new additions to my life that sort of just waltzed in and took over my every waking moment#I'm trying to learn how to accept them and live with them without having to focus on them#becoming disabled is a whole Thing#Also my friends are seriously my heroes#Using voice messages and such on discord so that I can still chat is something I didn't expect anyone to do#but here you all are proving once again how amazing people can be and how generous of spirit#also if you're thinking “Boy you sure wrote a long post for someone who struggles to write” you're not wrong!#I learned some tricks#I hope to use them for fun stuff in 2025 >.>#year in review#fandom friends#Jodarta
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Everyone is so damn Puritan now when it comes to queer characters, or any characters who aren't Straight, Cisgender, Non-Disabled in any way, Christian White Men™️, and it's ironic — they're like their own version of the Moral Majority.
If people who Aren't Like You (whatever that is) need to see every fictional character who is Like You (whatever that is) portrayed as a boring, one-dimensional Pure, Wholly Good saint in order to believe you should have basic human rights, while characters who are Like Them (whatever that is) can be flawed and complex, or even villains... then they were never going to see you as human beings worthy of basic human rights to begin with.
Now read that again.
#writing queer characters#writing poc#writing female characters#writing disabled characters#writing diversity#anti purity culture#anti censorship#WRITE PROBLEMATIC CHARACTERS#(And learn what “problematic” means while you're at it!)#writing problematically#rant#txt
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banging my head against the wall while i say: "relatability is not the be all end all of writing a character. saying that you don't find a character relatable/you wouldn't have made the same choices does not mean something is poorly written. you actually should go out of your way to engage with media about people who are fundamentally different from you because it helps you learn about others."
#idk i make “just like me fr” jokes about blorbos frequently but in actuality i do not share much in common with characters i like#and i *like* to get in the heads of different people even if it does take more effort#and deep down i can usually find a connection to them even if they're not “relatable”#stories exist to help you learn about yourself and others in equal measure#(anyways for your tag readers the post that inspired this was someone claiming that rt*d was a better writer than other dw showrunners#bc he writes “relatable” characters and like. yeah that's true. that's why i don't really find his characters that interesting#no salt. we all have different tastes but “relatability” is not an inherently good thing nor is it inherently bad.)#idk also thinking about a few polls of “what traits of yours do you project onto your blorbos” and while i definitely do that sometimes#mostly with disability or aspec identities. it's not essential to me liking a character#even when i do give a character a trait i have they usually think about it and respond differently than i do#and usually it's because canon has already paved a path for me#hm. i should make a poll about if you like characters who are relatable to you or not#my posts
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I don't understand people who say things like 'but it doesn't matter if we don't pay artists/writers for their labour, or use free AI programs to replace artists/writers to improve our profits, because in a perfect world everyone would have UBI so it wouldn't matter xxx'
like. yes. but until we reach that perfect world, artists and writers need to eat?
why are you promoting AI replacement of creative people instead of working towards UBI? Until we have UBI, supporting generative AI in the creative field is no different to supporting supermarkets laying off all their till staff to turn to self-check out, or supporting factories who shut down and move overseas to exploit workers in countries with fewer human rights legislations?
Yes, in a perfect world, everyone would receive UBI. Therefore, people across the globe couldn't be exploited by corporations, and artists could create for the joy of it, in whatever way we desire - including with AI!
But we do not live in that perfect world.
Do you seriously expect this move towards generative AI to encourage people to support UBI, as opposed to people being forced into jobs they hate to make ends meet or no longer being able to support themselves financially?
Especially all the disabled people who make a living creating art and writing/editing, because that is, in fact, a career that is often far more available to disabled folks than a regular 9-5 or a retail job where you're expected to be on your feet all day (miss my disabled ass with the 'anti-AI = ableism' stance lmao).
This is not going to create your army of revolutionaries. This is just going to result in more independent creators being crushed under the boot heel of capitalism, as anyone who would've hired them flocks instead to the free alternative, and they're forced back into an incredibly exploitative labour market.
I agree that generative AI by itself is just a tool and is not inherently a problem.
But it is being abused, in ways that hurt creators.
If you support generative AI... what are you doing about that?
#generative AI#nanowrimo#seeing some real bad takes#and don't get me STARTED on the ableism take. I cannot hold a pen due to disability. I cannot do calligraphy.#I can use Dragon voice-to-text in a calligraphic font. That is not the same as doing calligraphy.#It's okay to acknowledge that.#If you pretend it IS the same and try to award me in a calligraphy contest...#that is in fact patronizing and - dare I say - ableist#if someone needs so many adaptations that they are no longer doing the same thing as abled people you don't have to pretend otherwise#like with my dancing! I can't dance in a way that would be recognised as such by abled people. but I don't want to be measured against them#even as a weird 'consolation prize' for not being able to master the same skills due to disability!#I'd much rather take part in a disabled dance event where we all do our own thing and celebrate that for what it is!#because IT *IS* DIFFERENT. DUE TO DISABILITY. and that's okay! that's not shameful!#hell make a generative AI celebration week where you support disabled creators! if you care so much!#but pretending generative AI is the exact same thing as plotting and writing a novel or learning how to draw#is really patronizing and not the hot take you think it is
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It's wild to me how some able-bodied people only think of disabled culture as a concept and they haven't ever actually experienced it. To me the biggest tell that somebody has never experienced disabled culture is their lack of knowledge about something I call Societal Manufactured Disability Theory.
This theory posits that an aspect of disability is manufactured by societal norms, stigmas and labeling.
People with disabilities like myself will tell you that people do treat you differently based solely upon the fact that you are disabled. When my hand writing is too messy to read do to Dysgraphia people assume I'm not trying hard enough to be neat, and if I'm lazy enough to slack with hand writing I must always be lazy. When I tell people I have Dyslexia they think I'm less intelligent, unable to read or incapable of understanding the written word. When I tell people I have a connective tissue disorder which is an invisible disability they think I'm a liar, scheming to take resources away from "real disabled people".
The societal norm here in America is to push forward, laziness is not an option we see it repeatedly in the rhetoric surrounding young people. News sources constantly talking about how "no one wants to work these days" or "young people are taking everything for granted".
There is a huge stigma around having Dyslexia that most people don't notice. In American society where we have a 79% literacy rate it is expected that you can read, so when you can't or you have trouble people think you have a lower IQ. Dyslexia can be genetic so I'm actually a fourth generation Dyslexic from my dad's side with all of them men being the ones to pass it down. My dad has always said that my great grandfather had no support for his Dyslexia, nobody cared and in fact the term Dyslexia was only coined in 1887. When my dad went to school they attempted to alleviate some of the symptoms of Dyslexia by making him watch his hands as he crawled on the floor, believing that the root of the problem was in a lack of eye coordination. To this day I and many other Dyslexics will avoid talking about our diagnosis because of the stigma behind it. I have had many experiences in my life where as soon as people learn that I am Dyslexic they assume that I can't spell anything or that they need to read everything to me. That's what stigma does, it makes people hide away just so they can live in peace and be respected.
It is extremely common for people with invisible disabilities to be labeled as liars, this is mostly due to a lack of education and representation. The general public's idea of disability is limited, but the truth is that disability is one of the most dynamic aspects of human beings. Invisible and dynamic disabilities make up the majority of disabilities; in fact, 1 out of every 3 Americans is in fact disabled. When people see me, a young, healthy-looking man, they never think I'm disabled. If I tell them I am, they may think I am lying. People generally do not like liars, and having such a label attached to your name can be detrimental to your social integration.
You can see that none of those setbacks I mentioned are symptoms of my disabilities. The perceived deviance, stigma, and labeling are not things you'll find on a medical report. However, they do harm me socially and potentially medically when it comes to stigma; these things disable me. Thus, part of my struggle as a disabled person is manufactured by society itself, in the norms we hold and the way we treat others.
I have come to that conclusion repeatedly, as have almost every other disabled person. It's a conclusion that is often reached in the community as a whole. However, it is in able-bodied culture where these stigmas, labels, and perceived attacks originate. So, if someone is completely averse to accepting the Societal Manufactured Disability Theory, it suggests that they have probably never fully been a part of any aspect of disability culture.
#physical disability#learning disability#learning disabilities#disabled#disability#disabilties#disabled culture#disabled community#essay#ableism#stigma#society#sociology#hypermobile ehlers danlos#hypermobile eds#dyslexia#dysgraphia#connective tissue disorder#writing#learning#discrimination#theory#social justice#social theory#text post#education#anthropology#rant#rant post
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Noticed But Hoping For The Best Part 5
There was nothing wrong, Danny knew that! He was just getting more and more tired as the ghost attacks ramped up, but it wasn't like he could explain why he was so exhausted. What would he even say? 'I'm the one fighting all the ghosts and going home was stressful until Jazz managed to set the home security system to not target me'? No, absolutely not. Because of that, however, he was forced to endure people acting like he was sick or something!
Well, Jazz didn't at least. She was just doing her general check-ins after his fight, always fussing over him and yet they quicky figured out that any injuries he gains as Phantom? They show up as bruises of varying severity when in his human form! As the bruises faded, the wounds Phantom had slowly healed, though they of course looked how they were supposed to on his ghost form. It was actually really cool to know that he wouldn't end up severely scarred from any injuries he got defending Amity Park!
Still, his sister used any day after a fight as an excuse to fuss and make sure he was okay, even if it was something simple as making him a smoothie for breakfast- when did she start doing that, anyways? Did they really have enough non-sentient food in the fridge, or was Jazz keeping her own personal store of stuff-? Actually that would make sense, maybe he should start doing the same. Sometimes she went a bit overboard, though, like insisting she was the one to comb his hair or tie his shoes before they went out the door. Danny wasn't a toddler, there was no need to go that far!
Still, he good-naturedly rolled his eyes and grumbled, occasionally fighting it- she once tried to zip up his jacket for him! Just because his fingers were clumsy from not getting enough sleep doesn't mean he was unable to do it himself- but otherwise the teen let his older sister fuss, knowing it made her feel better.
Thankfully, Tucker wasn't acting any different, either! It would have been easy to see, since they were spending more time together while Sam was away, but there was no change- except for teasing about his appearance, or about his handwriting. Danny had noticed that about his handwriting as well, lines never seemed to come out straight when he started writing or tried to draw, but that was another thing explained away by exhaustion. The lack of sleep affecting small motor skills was something he'd heard his parents warn each other about when growing up, and after the portal opened Jazz had lectured them about it and forced them to go to bed several times so they wouldn't hurt themselves in the lab.
Sleep felt like a bit of a luxury at this point, like going a week without a ghost attack or a test somehow being cancelled. Sure, he wasn't going sleepless, Jazz would never allow that and the ghosts tended to attack during the day, but apparently six hours weren't enough. Why else would he be nodding off in classes? Or maybe he was just bored, Danny could easily find that to be the case.
And yet when he was Phantom? Oh, he felt fantastic! Completely full of energy, his hands seemed to obey his mind, everything was clear and sharp, it was like he'd downed a coffee just before starting his fights! However, that made everything so much more prominent when he switched back. His left side randomly twitching- probably from overuse, his muscles did tend to feel sore around those times- but at least his right side didn't seem to feel it. It was probably just because the shock entered from his left hand, it would make sense for things to still be healing, even if turning half-ghost fixed most of the damage.
But it really seemed like having to deal with the ghosts invading the town was effecting his life more and more. It was taking longer to heal from any injuries he got in his human form- Dash tripped him once, Danny faceplanted into his locker, got detention for finally yelling at him and the busted lip he got took over two weeks to heal, it wasn't a good day- his grades were starting to drop, Mister Lancer seemed to be increasingly irritated with him. It was so frustrating! He was trying his best!
At least everything seemed to be alright in science class, it was as enjoyable as always. Sure, he always had to ask his lab partner to handle the finer details, like anything involving pipettes, but it was still fun! Even if he didn't enjoy his parents flavor of scientific curiosity, that didn't change the fact science was one of his favorite subjects. So of course, it made sense his luck would work against him and ruin one of the few good school-related things he had.
it was just a normal class, and his hands were steady enough to accurately poor things and use pipettes! Danny felt like he was on top of the world, he hadn't had a good day like this in awhile! There was an idle smile on his face as he worked, his arm wasn't sore- there was no warning when his body decided to betray him. No heads up, none of the soreness he had been using as an indicator to avoid breaking things. His left arm jerked, a stinging sensation streaking up his arm, fingers reflexively unclenching-
The only thing he could think as the beaker shattered on the floor was that he was glad it was empty. The chattering in the room fell silent as everyone turned and just... Stared. It was only for a moment, but it was still unnerving, then Mister Lancer spoke. "Danny, clean up the glass and see me after class- and for the love of Shakespeare, don't handle any more of the glassware."
That... that hurt to hear, in a way Danny couldn't explain. Sure, it made sense- why let someone handle fragile things when there was a chance of it breaking?- but that limited his ability to participate. Was he just going to be forced to watch everyone and do nothing whenever they had lab? The frustration spiked, causing the teen to pause and take a breath as he felt tears prickling his eyes. It was an accident, it wasn't his fault! Still, he managed to take care of the glass without getting any cuts.
There was a feeling of quiet dread, though, when he stayed back after everyone else was dismissed. Was this the final straw or something? Or would it be yet another lecture? He'd been getting a lot of those recently, on top of all the detentions when Mister Lancer decided he'd had enough of Danny dozing in class. It was a complete shock, but also a weight off his shoulders when he heard the magic words, "Calm down, you're not in trouble." So no detentions, and no consequences, fantastic! But of course it couldn't end there. "We just need to talk about something."
Right, of course, his teacher wouldn't hold him back just to say he wasn't in trouble. Still, the moment of silence where it looked like the man was actually thinking about what to say? Terrifying. It was like when his parents gave him The Talk, and while he knew Mister Lancer wouldn't do that it didn't decrease the nerves. "I won't ask for any details, but clearly something has happened."
That was not good- sure, Danny didn't think it was being guessed that he was Phantom, but the fact his exhaustion made someone think that something bad had happened meant he'd probably need to come up with some sort of cover, maybe lie about a lingering flu-
"I have been harsh due to believing you were slacking off, but if this is a genuine problem, it's my job as an educator to make sure any special requirements you have are met." Wait- waitwaitwait, that was as good as an apology from the man! It was impossible not to look at him with wide eyes, but no, it was too good to be true, unfortunately.
"Now, the ban on you handling glassware will exist and stay in place-" That was one of the worst things Mister Lancer could have said. That would effectively ban him from participating in labs, removing the fun parts that made science his favorite class! It was just one accident, it wasn't his fault! It wasn't fair! "-however, you will be given paper assignments you can fill out instead of doing the lab. Partner with someone and watch the experiment, then fill out the sheet your given."
That felt like being kicked when he was down! He couldn't actually participate, but he'd be forced to watch others do things without being able to join in, and then he'd have to write about what he saw! Danny didn't want that, especially because writing causes his hand to cramp severely, no matter which hand he uses! Usually he would be upset, yeah, but... it felt borderline tragic. It had been his first truly good day in a long while, everything was going perfectly, why did something have to go wrong! And Mister Lancer was still talking.
"Every time you submit a written assignment, I would like you to stay back and help me read it; your handwriting is like another language to me. Understood?" It felt like there was something trapped in his throat, to the point it felt hard to breathe, doing his best not to cry as he nodded. On top of not being able to participate in lab, he'd always have to stay back after every end-of-day class because his teacher couldn't even read his handwriting anymore! Why was everything going wrong?!
"Good. You're dismissed." It took all of Danny's effort to choke out the words expected of him, "Thank you." It took all of his effort not to run as he stepped out of the classroom and started walking to his locker to get his bag. He felt a sick, squirming feeling in his stomach, mind twisting itself in knots after that interaction.
And last but not least, there was Dash. The bane of his school life, the closest thing his human half had to a mortal enemy other than Vlad. It seemed like he upped the mockery of his appearance- "Did you run into that lunch ghost on the way here, or do you always end up dumping food on yourself?" "Is it a hurricane out there or did you not bother to brush your hair?" "Jeez Fentoad, you're makin' it too easy if your trip yourself on your own laces!"
Sure, he wasn't the neatest-looking person around, but Danny didn't think it was that bad. Maybe it was because his mind had been looping around after the mini-meeting with Mister Lancer, but he never really focused on his food when eating, and that often led to spilling food. As for laces, it just felt like more effort than it was worth the retie his shoes every single time they came undone- they never seemed to stay in place anymore! But it was just so tiring, dealing with the taunts and jabs, the sore wrists and occasional busted lips from tripping that took forever to heal...
Eventually, Danny stopped jabbing back. Maybe it was because Sam wasn't there to keep encouraging him that that trouble was worth it, maybe it was his own exhaustion, but there were no more verbal responses to the taunts, nothing more than a huff when being shoulder-checked made him stumble. Dash seemed to be getting bored, though that didn't decrease how often he decided to be a pointless jerk all at once. The blonde was determined to drag him down it seemed, though. In the normal day-to-day, the taunting and shoving was decreased, but on the rare occasion Danny was having a good day? Everything went back to normal, and it sucked!
When he wasn't having a good day, though? Everyone was acting like he was sick- he wouldn't say diseased, though, since they didn't avoid him or anything, but the changes in how people looked at him and sometimes even interacted with him was. Conversations that suddenly dropped when he entered a classroom, people whispering to each other every time he passed by, barely concealed looks of pity. The weirdest part? Even Wes was giving him space! Wes! Explained with a handwave and a 'Obviously you can't be Phantom in your condition'. What did that even mean?!
Danny couldn't wait for Sam to get back, maybe she could help figure things out, everything felt like it had become twisted and everyone was acting like it was normal, he was going to go mad at this rate!
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#danny fenton#danny phantom#The timeframe for this bit is over the course of the other 4 parts :)#The next Danny part is going to be a more present version and his own thing instead of just how the story looks through his eyes#still learning when I need to place the 'Read More' button#disabled danny#He's not accepted that something is wrong yet#He is very much in denial right now#Also- This is a headcanon: Danny is right-handed but taught himself to be ambidexterous#Before the accident he could use both hands with no difference between them yet preferred his right hand out of habit#Noticed But Hoping For The Best#Can you tell I'm putting off writing Sam since I have zero clue how to characterize her?
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a title card transition for a oneshot i'm working on. i thought it was funny lol
also 100% possible i did my math wrong so don't @ me
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Modern au with a strong theme of Hiccup coping with his leg better than all the people around him and it's low key pissing him off
#hiccup haddock#what.. im not projecting#anyways woke up w a shit ton of notes n ideas for my modern au i dont remember writinf so thats cool#rotbtd modern au#i feel like he'd be more traumatized from [undecided event that caused the injury] than the fact he had an amputation#and would be obviously frustrated about such major changes in the way he does things but#itd be different than the like conern (pity) other ppl show#he makes a leg joke and stoick just looks at him sadly/uncomfortably or ppl stare like 'do i laugh or..?'#(obviously. people generally dont make jokes abt their disabilities out loud if theyre not okay with you laughing 😭)#the point is the way hes treated would be wildly different in a modern au especially one not taking place on berk#my aus#moth.txt#lots more thoughts on this n the feelings he will have (in a fic i may or may not write) but im struggling to articulate them#mainly is the frustration though. frustration with yourself but moreso how the people around you suddenly change their behavior due#to your disability and Not in a good way.#the balance between learning to accept help and coming to terms with it but also not#letting people coddle you or making sure they know when they overstep#etc etc etc. like i said: struggling to articulate it but its just a very specific Feeling#httyd modern au#deyas dragons
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HELLO. This combined with the beta canon that Bones has atrocious spelling & Spock edits his papers.......
#god i don't want to try and fail at writing another fic but oh my GOD#spones cyrano de bergerac/you've got mail fic where they fall in love as pen pals before ever getting on the enterprise#bc they bond over their experiences with dyslexia/learning disabilities but never realize the other is their pen pal until they're full into#being rivals and when they find out they're so embarrassed at the vulnerability they shared before processing that the other is#still the one who received it so well that they go all messy bread and circuses. REAL.#anyway. excuse me.#the autobiography of mr. spock#una mccormack#leonard mccoy#spock
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