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#Polymer Pencils#polymer pencil exporter#writing products#best pencil for students#polymer pencil for students#affordable pencil manufacturer#raw polymer pencil#pencils in bulk#spartex polymer pencil#pencil manufacturing company
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A reminder to all my lovely fellow writers: progress is progress, even when it isn't. Writing four thousand words in a session is progress. Writing a hundred words in a session is progress. Removing an entire scene because it doesn't flow well is progress. Rethinking your plan for the plot in order to get unstuck is progress. Development looks different for every writer and every story.
#I know it's hard when you don't feel like you're being conventionally “productive”#but every little thing puts you one step closer to finishing your WIP#even when you're actually taking something away#or not touching the actual story at all#writeblr#writing community#writers#writing#writers of tumblr#writing mood#writing advice#friendly reminder#reminder#writers on tumblr#writers community
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what if you’re the wife of a criminal, a man who deals with the cartels. and somehow you get thrown into the mess of it all. he keeps you tucked away, hidden from the prying eyes of the outside world.
until a group of men move in across the street. they seem to come around quite often, but your husband is so strict, so desperate to keep you hidden up in your tower, that you never see them, or anyone for that matter.
and then one day you’re out in your garden, the only place you find solace. the years of trauma you have had to endure built you to be cautious, the snap of a twig and very quiet rustle of the bush beside you making you move fast.
but ghost was faster.
he grabs you in an instant. his grip is tight and yet somehow reassuring you think.
“shh…husband doesn’t need ta know i’m here. be quiet fa me, yeah?”
after that he secretly comes around, learns your husbands schedule just so he knows when he can come see you and for how long.
he tells the team about these visits of course, vowing to get you out of the war your husband has drug you into.
#i might expand on this but it’s just a thought rn#i’m still super sick but trying to get myself to be productive lol#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty mwii#cod#call of duty warzone#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#cod ghost#simon riley x female reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x female reader#ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#cod mw#cod mwii#cod mw ghost#task force 141#141#ghost simon riley#cod ghosts#ghost call of duty#ghost mw2#simon riley imagine#sirin writes⋆˚࿔
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That recent Nanami-centric phanpara promo has truly been living in my head rent-free, I was looking to grab some screenshots and ended up making some gifs out of my favorite frames as well:
Full sequence:
Some bonus waist action, for the culture:
Video source: @/jujutsuphanpara
#nanami kento#nanami#jjk nanami#jujutsu kaisen#phantom parade#jjk#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami#jjk gifs#jujutsu kaisen gif#jjk phantom parade#i should be writing#this is productive procastination manifest#pmpmygifs
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Me: [sees everyone talking about how Assad Zaman was "literally" coming up with RPF about himself and Eric Bogosian in an interview]
Me: ah, fandom's doing its little "interpret an innocent comment in Some Kind Of Way" thing again, let's go find the video and do our own critical thinking about what was actually said here--
Assad: What would happen if I said-- [words that cannot be interpreted as anything but RPF fanfic]
Me:
Me: ok fandom gets a pass on this one actually
#interview with the vampire#devil's minion#assad zaman#he's just hit that level of devil's minion brainrot#i've seen it a thousand times#this cast is fully unhinged and I ADORE them#the chaos energy is off the charts#eric out here setting a bad example with his “did u know u can say anything u want in interviews actually :)))” energy#assad seems one step away from getting Marxist about it like#“if rolin doesn't let me kiss daniel in s3 we must Seize The Means Of Production”#baby boy listen... be the change you want to see in the world#if u wanna write ur own devil's minion fanfic and film it on ur iphone i support u 100% and i will get u in contact with the OTW's lawyers#who ironically were invented partially BECAUSE of people getting in trouble for writing Anne Rice fanfic#this is what we call Plot Structure#real life does not usually have such a satisfying Plot Structure but it could in this case if assad reaches level 100 in Unhingery#and tbh i truly don't know that I would put it past him at this point#iwtv
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Random writing tips that my history professor just told during class that are actually helpful
Download all your sources or print them so you can turn off your wifi
Give your phone to someone
Just. WRITE. Writing is analysing, you’ll get more ideas as you write. It doesn’t need to be perfect, for now you can just blurt out words and ideas randomly. You can fix it later.
Create a skeleton/structure before writing.
Stop before you get exhausted. It’s best to stop writing when you still have some energy and inspiration left, this will also motivate you to get started again next time.
Make a to do list
Work in bite sizes. Even if it’s not much, as long as you put some ideas on paper or do some editing.
Simple language =/= boring language, simple language = clear language.
Own your words. If they are not your words, state this clearly in the text, not just in the footnotes.
STOP BEFORE YOU GET EXHAUSTED. Listing it again because it’s easily one of the best tips a teacher has ever given me.
#ive been studying for 4 years and rarely has a teacher actually given productivity tips#thank you Lies.#history student#history studyblr#essay writing#writing tips#history tips#paper writing#study blog#studyblr#adhd#neurospicy#university#college#study with adhd#study motivation#academia#studyspo#please normalise teaching students how to be productive#make studying accessible#accessibility
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When Eddie gets excited, he gets a bit overwhelmed. At least, that’s what Steve has noticed, with the way Eddie has to take a quick running lap, bounce up and down, etc. whenever he gets too happy.
Steve secretly thinks it’s adorable and tries his best to induce these little happy zoomies.
It doesn’t take much. Sometimes it’s just a small compliment such as, “That shirt looks nice on you,” that has Eddie bouncing on his heels and fidgeting with his rings with a smile on his face. Sometimes, Steve tries to notice something new like when Eddie trims his bangs or paints his nails, that makes Eddie flush red and mumble, “Yeah, I did,” before taking a quick walk around Family Video before making his way back to him.
This time, Steve isn’t really trying to get a reaction out of Eddie who is angrily storming around the break room of Family Video after Steve had seen his face upon entering the store and ushered him to the back.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Eddie mutters out, running a hand over his face. Steve sits back quietly, letting Eddie go on a little rant. “He said, we were allowed to have the basement for our campaign. All of it. Then, Ted Wheeler in all his glory suddenly says that we’re too loud, and we can’t do the campaign at their house anymore. I mean… it’s one more session! He could’ve sat in that damn recliner and shut him mouth for one more session! Fuck.”
Eddie groans dramatically and sits on the ground, head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do. It’s summer so we don’t have access to the school. And I can’t risk breaking in and having them take away my well earned diploma. Plus, my trailer is too small, and no one else has the privacy of Mike’s basement. We’re done for!”
Steve shrugs, seeing a clear answer to the problem. “You can do it at my house. My parents are never home, and I can stay in my room for as long as you need.”
Eddie’s head snaps up. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” Steve says, not really sure why he’s so shocked.
Eddie stands up quickly. “You’re positive you can deal with all the Hellfire members in your house?”
Steve nods. “I’ll even buy you guys pizza if you want.”
“Buy us pizza…” Eddie mumbles under his breath in disbelief. “Steve Harrington, are you granting me permission to use your house for Hellfire Club meaning hours of us yelling maybe even late into the night while we play our nerdy game?”
Steve nods and shrugs again. “Yeah. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Not that big of a deal?” Eddie repeats, once again in disbelief. He slightly smiles. “We’re going to be able to complete the campaign.” He bounces on his heels excitedly. “We’re going to complete the campaign!” He runs up to Steve and hugs him tightly, jumping up and down, successfully jostling a laughing Steve in his arms. “We have a place to complete the campaign!!”
Eddie puts him down and pulls back with a big smiles. “Thank you! Seriously thank you. This means so much I could just-”
Before Steve can react, Eddie is leaning forward and pressing his mouth against his in an enthusiastic kiss.
Eddie pulls back quickly and puts his hands over his mouth in horror. “Oh my gosh. I’m so- fuck. I’m so fucking sorry. I just got uh…”
Steve waves him off as Eddie backs as far away from him as possible. “You just got excited. It’s okay.”
It’s okay as it can be considering that Steve really wants to kiss Eddie again although he’s not sure what that really means. But suddenly the urge to make Eddie happy makes a whole lot of sense.
Shit. Okay. He can work with this.
He glances up at Eddie who looks petrified in fear. “I just got excited…” he whispers out.
Steve slowly makes his way to him and puts his hands on his shoulders. “It’s okay, Eddie. Really. I uh, enjoyed it.”
“You enjoyed it?” Eddie echoes uncertainly.
“Yes. But if it was just an excitement thing, I understand.”
Eddie breathes out, “And what if it was more than an excitement thing?”
Steve takes a step further into Eddie’s space and tilts his head. “Then I’d ask if I could kiss you.”
Eddie swallows harshly and leans forward. “It was definitely more than an excitement thing.”
Steve smiles softly and asks, “Can I kiss you?”
“Yes,” Eddie says, slipping his hands into Steve’s hair as he moves forward again.
This time, Steve knows to respond, moving his lips against Eddie’s gently before tracing his tongue against the seam of his lips, exploring the inside of his mouth when Eddie lets him in.
When Steve reluctantly pulls away from the kiss to check on Eddie, he gets a quick nip to the lip.
Eddie flushes red. “So, I sometimes bite when I’m happy.”
Steve leans in again and whispers against his lips, “Thank god I’m into that.”
And he’s going to make sure to learn all the ways to elicit these responses from Eddie, but first, he’s going to learn all the ways Eddie likes to be kissed.
#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#steddie ficlet#I’m in a writing mood although I need to be productive#ignore that I’ve posted twice in the past hour
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wires that are veins and some such
#sketching him as a reward for being sooo productive with writing#artists on tumblr#gore#body horror#computer#supercomputer#original character#tthw#is-ot
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The reviews are in!!!
“Hedonistic beefcake. Fattest ass with the most eager tight hole. Will make you cum 10/10” - a white guy
#my darling ex said he’d write me a hole testimony for me since I haven’t been getting good matches on bumble 😍#legally I also have to state that the bulge in this image is unrepresentative of the final product#idk why it looks like I was stuffing my undies but also like I don’t recall buying this jock???#I feel like when I wake up in the morning it’s gonna be gone#like it was just here a flattering if inaccurate bulge pic and then went off to the next guy… so much love and magic in the world…#gpoy
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On Being a Powerful Speaker
in order to be a good speaker, you have to be a good writer. that doesn’t mean publishing 100 books and making it on NYT’s best selling list.
writing your thoughts, challenging your own assumptions and stances, writing about “controversial” ideas and playing the devil’s advocate, questioning the known, will allow your mind to become clearer on what you truly stand for. It will allow you to understand exactly who you are and what you believe in. It will help untangle all the jumble in your mind because you have to pen down your thoughts. Writing things down takes more time than thinking things, which gives you the time to reflect as well. Once your idea has been presented on paper, you will feel a sense of clarity. When asked to spoken about said idea or subject, you’ll be able to speak clearer because you’ve already spent time thinking, reflecting and challenging yourself. You may realise that you need less time to remember certain words, you’ll be able to retrieve things from your memory faster, your vocabulary will improve vastly and hopefully, your rationality will increase.
how should one go about such an exercise if you can’t think of subjects on your own?
Look for any one articles in the news. Any one article or a book. Read just the headline and the sub-headline/ read just the summary of the book. Now pause. Think about what it just said - do you agree with it? Disagree? What are your initial assumptions? What are some things you’re thinking of? Write it down. Now read the whole thing. Were your hunches right, or did the author challenge your initial assumptions? Do you agree with the author or still disagree? What were things you felt the author did not clarify or consider in their argument? start writing things down.
You do not need to be a good speaker in order to be a good writer; but perhaps, you do need to be a powerful writer in order to be a good speaker.
#ceo aesthetic#that girl#c suite#powerful woman#strong women#personal growth#productivity#getting your life together#balance#Speaking#writing#public speaking#speaker#How to speak#Confidence
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I love writing and by writing I mean coming up with an idea and then making a book cover and detailed character bios and imagining some fun and interesting scenes and then never actually writing anything down or plotting out the story
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Take the hint
Summary: The CoD guys and Valeria's reaction to you being hit on at a club.
Characters: Simon “Ghost” Riley, Johnny “Soap” MacTavish, König, Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra, John Price, Valeria Garza, all x gn!reader Rating: SFW Word count: 800ish
Ghost
He gets jealous really easily, he doesn’t like sharing you at all. Still, usually he’ll just stand somewhere where he can see you well, arms crossed in front of his chest and waiting for you to reject the person.
The moment you’re with him again he’ll have an arm tightly around you, pulling you as closely to him as he can, proving to himself that he is the only one who gets to do this with you.
If the person is too persistent he will go into guard dog mode. He would absolutely break someone’s bones for you.
Soap
He gets jealous too, but he always tries his very best to not show it. He knows in his core that he is your one and only and would never betray him so he will just push the feeling down and look forward to you being back by his side.
He will absolutely make fun of the other person once it’s just the two of you, can’t believe a guy like that thinks he could get with you… So delusional, hm?
König
He doesn’t really go out much in the first place and when he does, he is pretty much attached to you at the waist and no one dares hit on you when you are with that mountain of a man.
If it does happen, because you went to quickly grab a drink or went to the bathroom, he will start spiraling quickly. He already has a lot of anxiety about you leaving him and the moment he sees you speaking with someone else his alarm bells go off, that it’s finally happening and he won’t be the one you’ll go home with today.
He wants to intervene, but he doesn’t dare to, he can just watch, but he feels better immediately when you finally get rid of the other person, rolling your eyes and giving König a bright grin, mouthing “what a weirdo” towards him and immediately get on your tiptoes to give him a kiss.
He’ll make sure to not let go of your hand for the rest of the night and be as affectionate as possible.
Price
He’s super relaxed about it, just standing in the corner sipping his beer and waiting for you to deal with it. He finds it incredibly attractive how well you handle yourself.
He also takes it as a compliment that other people find you that attractive, but of course he is the one you ultimately go back home with.
Can’t blame them, honey. You look out of this world.
Gaz
He tries to not let it bother him, but it always does. He is always afraid you’ll leave him and he has had some bad experiences in the past with other people that sensitized him to it.
You know about that so you always make sure to shut down the other person as quickly as possible to get back to his side again.
You can tell that he is unhappy when you come back but once you pull him in for a kiss, still in view of the person who hit on you, he feels better immediately.
Valeria
The types of places she takes you out to are full of people that know you belong to her and wouldn’t dare hit on you. You stay by her side anyway so there is barely any chance for someone to try and hit on you.
If it does happen she gets very possessive. Has pulled a gun on someone who got inappropriate with you before and would absolutely do it again.
Rudy
He will watch on with a grin. He trusts you completely and he knows you’ll handle it.
If the other person is too persistent, he might get involved, a cold smile on his lips as he yells across the bar. Sorry, dude. They’re not into blonds. Believe me, I’d know.
Will be extremely relaxed up until the point where he sees you get uncomfortable with the other person’s behavior. He will get really heated when he sees you struggle and has beaten up someone before, smashing them against the bar and hissing at them to get some damn manners before he breaks their ribs.
Alejandro
Alejandro knows you can deal with it yourself but he still likes to be present as a safety net so you don’t have to feel on your own in case things go wrong.
Usually will come up to you and just listen in, putting an arm around your waist if you seem uncomfortable. Usually the other person gets the hint by then but if not he’ll get involved.
#call of duty imagine#call of duty x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#könig x reader#konig x reader#gaz x reader#kyle garrick x reader#alejandro vargas x reader#rodolfo parra x reader#valeria garza x reader#captain price x reader#cod fanfiction#cod x reader#ari writes#woohoo another post i am so productive
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it was supposed to be short n small and now its 3k & its unedited and u all have to just deal with it bcos it was supposed to be SMALL | ao3
The driver's side car window makes a resounding thunk when Steve’s forehead falls against it.
Through the glass, his keys glint tauntingly back at him.
Still tucked in the ignition, locked in on the inside. So close and yet so far from Steve who is, unfortunately, locked on the outside.
I’m such a fucking idiot.
He lets his head raise up a bit just to drop it back against the window again, this time more in punishment. Of course, of course, he coughs up the money needed for a warrant of fitness and then he goes and locks his keys in the car the next day. Like he needed one more cost added to his finances.
Steve steals a glance at his watch. Fuck, if he doesn’t get on the road in the next 10 minutes, he’ll be more than late to work.
His eyes glance across to Eddie’s van, parked beside his own car, outside the trailer home in Forest Hills. Then he looks back at the trailer.
He can ask. He can just go inside and ask Eddie for the lift— and explain that the reason he can’t take his own perfectly fine car is because he’s so goddamn thick between the ears that he’s locked his keys inside, like some kind of moron.
The voice in his head sounds suspiciously like his father.
Something thick grows in his throat. He swallows it to no avail. Embarrassment begins to flush down his neck, hot and uncomfortable.
No, no— he can’t ask Eddie because as far as Steve knows, Eddie hasn’t quite figured it out yet.
Even while Dustin and Mike make their jokes about him being a bit slow, even when Robin says at least you have your pretty face, Eddie brushes them off and laughs. Takes them as jokes with no merit to them. Steve knows though.
So what if he doesn’t want to burst his bubble just yet?
He knows Eddie will figure it out eventually— because they always do. When he asks too many stupid questions and needs things explained twice and— and it’s just inevitable, okay? He knows that.
Fixing his glare through the window of his car at the shiny pair of keys within, Steve wrestles with what would be worse; being late or accidentally tipping Eddie off when they’ve just gotten so close.
Close enough to share a kiss, two nights ago, under the covers. It was barely more than a peck. But Steve knew it had taken a miraculous amount of courage from Eddie to do it— to surge forward and grab Steve’s face, his rings cool against his skin, and press his mouth against his Steve's own.
Eddie’s lips had been chapped but his smile had been pure sunshine and Steve thinks he could’ve stayed forever under that blanket, memorising the shade of pink Eddie’s cheeks turn after a kiss.
They’ve been dancing around it ever since. Each interaction is more charged, more flirty, more gooey. Long lingering looks and pointed nudges that make Steve feel like a 14-year-old with a crush again, in the best way.
So, no. He exactly can’t go ask.
With a heavy sigh and glance up at the darkening sky, Steve is only glad he’s not supposed to pick up Robin today as he begins to walk.
—
One phone call to the auto-shop reveals exactly how much it’ll cost to get his keys retrieved. Which is, to say, entirely too much for one adult living on the wage of a Family Video employee.
And they won’t be able to get anyone out for another whole day.
Growing more and more frustrated with himself, Steve angrily jots the number down into his little notebook, the pen pressing down hard enough to leave indents on the page behind it. Keith is somewhere out the back, snacking no doubt, and leaving Steve to man the front.
Normally, it wouldn’t bother him— especially because he could discretely make the phone call he needed— but now it’s just him, the empty store, and the number in his notebook that stares back at him.
Oh, and it’s raining.
The darkening sky from earlier had transformed into something closer to a thunderstorm, rain lashing against the windows and driving any and all customers away. Which is fantastic— just what Steve needs now, really the fucking cherry on the top.
The phone rings, the noise unusually shrill in the silence of the store. The film playing amongst the aisles has been on mute as soon as he’d gotten his hands on the remote and Keith had disappeared out the back.
Steve stares at the phone, watching it ring once, twice, before he picks it up with a heavy sigh. He dredges up his customer service voice.
“This is Family Video, how can I help?” He greets, putting as much pep into his voice as he can manage—which turns out to be a meagre amount.
“Did you walk to work today?”
Steve straightens up at the sound of Eddie’s voice on the other end of the line. His free hand instinctively smooths down the front of his vest before he quickly remembers Eddie can’t actually see him.
“Eddie?” He asks, instead of answering the question.
“Your Highness, himself,” Eddie responds. His tone is that usual jaunty playfulness that Steve’s come to adore. “Now answer the question, Steve-o. I thought you were one of those smart guys who actually listens when the weather report comes on the radio. Why the hell did you walk?”
Steve’s shoulders curl in, just an inch, and his eyes seek out the open notebook with the quoted amount, underlined and circled, staring back at him. His throat grows a lump at Eddie’s unknowingly poor choice of words.
“Thought I would walk today.” He replies, his voice clipped. “You know, walking, exercise, good for you? Any of these ringing a bell for you, Munson?”
It’s supposed to be a joke but Steve can tell by the end of the sentence, it’s come out way too sour to land that way. He sounds mean.
Steve cringes, clutching the phone a little tighter and screwing up his eyes. He waits for Eddie’s response.
“You know,” Eddie says, sounding a lot duller all of a sudden. “I was calling to maybe offer you a lift through the rain—”
“Sorry, I’m sorry, that-“ Steve cuts in, that same strange embarrassment swelling in his throat. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”
“—But if you’re gonna be a dick about it, you can enjoy the walk.”
Steve grits his teeth and pinches the bridge of his nose because this feels a little too much like a line from his Dad— but it isn’t because Steve is the one digging this hole all on his own. He’s the idiot who fucking locked his keys in his car and walked to work and snapped at Eddie and—
“No, I’m sorry.” He says, still a bit too tense.
Idiot, idiot, you’re being a fucking idiot, Harrington.
“A ride would be appreciated. Please.”
A pause. This time when Eddie speaks, he’s a little softer. “You off at five today?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’ll see you at five.”
The dial tone sounds as Eddie hangs up but Steve stays where he is, phone pressed against his one good ear, with a sinking feeling in his stomach. The rain begins to flood the parking lot.
—
Five o’clock comes around too soon.
The rain has let up, just barely, but enough that Steve can actually see Eddie’s van when it pulls up into the parking lot. It rocks about dangerously in the wind and Steve suddenly feels bad for making Eddie come out to get him.
He could’ve stayed here, taken the longer shift. Told Keith to take off early and just walked back home when the rain let up a little more— or just camped out the back on the couch in the employee room if it never did.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
He’d started doing it more and more when his parent’s visits to home became more frequent. It was easy to pull a few white lies out and Steve far preferred answering questions like: Where were you last night? than Why won't you come out to our event tonight? Show face for the Harrington's? It's not like you're doing anything with your life, right?
The only reason he’d stopped, actually, was because he had become good friends with Eddie.
Eddie, who loved his company almost any hour of the day. Who gobbled up each and every morsel of food Steve cooked up, whether it was good or partially burned on the sides. Who told him he had a place in the trailer, day or night, rain or shine.
Eddie who… was waiting outside at five o’clock exactly, pulled up to the curb so Steve wouldn’t have to walk through the rain for more than a moment.
There’s a sliver of surprise, deep within his chest; like he thought Eddie might’ve not shown up and forced him to walk through the rain, just to learn his lesson. It would make sense, Steve thinks. You reap what you sow.
He clocks out hastily, barely murmuring his exit to Keith who doesn’t look up in the slightest. Steve heads for the door and decides then and there, he’ll happily pay the number in his notebook if he doesn’t have to tell Eddie what a fucking moron he actually is.
Water splashes as he dashes down the steps and Eddie’s leaning across, pushing the door open so Steve doesn’t even have to wait to yank it open in the rain. He slides in, sprinkled with rain, slams the door closed, and instantly gets blasted with heat.
“God, you’re a lifesaver,” Steve sighs, sticking his hands out towards the air vents which are working in overdrive. They whir loudly in complaint. Eddie smiles, the apples of his cheeks glowing in the warmth, and twists the wheel, his eyes on the road before him.
The van groans and the bumper dips, kissing the gutter, as they roll out onto the road and head for Forest Hills. For a moment, Eddie focuses on driving straight before he flicks his gaze across to Steve.
“You know I wouldn’t have actually let you walk, right?”
Steve blinks, unsure of what to say in response, because he actually did think that was a possibility until about 2 minutes ago. He shivers as a stray drop in his hair sneaks under his collar, cold and wet.
“Right.” He answers, giving a hesitant smile back.
They’re driving slower than usual due to the rain. Steve lets himself sink back into the worn seats of the van, comforted by the familiar smells. A tang of tobacco, a stronger hint of weed, and that musky deodorant that Eddie swears by— even if Steve has never heard of the brand before.
But, well, it must be working in some sense because when Steve takes a deep breath, he smells it and feels a sense of calm. He doesn’t even notice he’s begun staring.
The strange weather has made Eddie’s hair frizzier than usual and paired with his rosy cheeks, Steve thinks he looks goddamn delectable. He gets caught up in a daydream about having a hot chocolate when they get back to the trailer, maybe even sharing a blanket on the couch and—
And then, Eddie turns and says, “So, wanna tell me why you walked? For real, this time?”
Something shrivels up within Steve. The tightness in his throat from this morning returns. He turns his head and looks out the window.
“I don’t get why you don’t believe me when I say I walked because I wanted to.” He grumbles, almost too low for Eddie to hear over the rain.
Why are they still talking about this? He thinks of the keys through the driver’s side window, thinks of the number in his notebook and the much smaller one in his bank account, and has to hold back from thumping his head against the glass again.
Something metallic jingles behind him.
Steve whips around, his eyes zeroing in on his keys dangling from Eddie’s hand— clearly just retrieved from his pocket. Something ugly and warm wakes up inside him, his stomach knotting uncomfortably, and his cheeks start to burn in embarrassment.
Idiot, Idiot, Idiot.
He knows, he already fucking knows how stupid you are.
Eddie’s eyes dart off the road to look at Steve. “Cos you’re clearly not telling the truth.”
Steve averts his gaze, turning his face back to the window and the wet pavement rushing by beneath the car. He swallows but the lump in his throat doesn’t move.
“Okay, look I don’t actually care that you walked to work,” Eddie continues, placing the keys down in the cup holder between the seats. “I just don’t get why you wouldn’t tell me that they were locked in your car.”
Steve can’t help it, the way his shoulders hike up. His teeth sink into his bottom lip meanly, nearly drawing blood. He doesn’t get it, he doesn’t get it— Eddie’s still trying to rationalise away what everyone else has already figured out.
“I just—” Steve starts, on the defence, but it comes out a bit too wet. He forces himself to swallow again, thankful there’s no sting of tears in his eyes. “I can fix that shit on my own. That’s all.”
“Well, yeah,” Eddie agrees.
Below them both, the hum of the van begins to dwindle and Steve realises abruptly that Eddie’s slowing down, pulling over to the side of the road. He looks to the side, at Eddie.
“Please, c’mon, I just wanna go home, man.” Steve pleads, not even caring that he’s referred so casually to Eddie’s trailer as his home.
“Wait, just,” Eddie waves a hand as he sticks the van into park, releasing the wheel and properly turning to Steve.
“I just want to understand. You know I can pop the door to most cars in, like, 5 minutes. Why didn’t you just ask?”
“Eddie,” Steve stresses, turning away with a pointed sigh. He runs a hand through his hair, latching onto the roots and tugging at it. “Just leave it, please.”
“Or asked for a lift!” Eddie continues, his hands gesturing out a bit wildly. “I could’ve given you a lift even.”
Steve's eyes slice across the van and he wills back every emotional outburst that wants to lash out of him, to poke the right spot that will hurt to get Eddie to back off.
But Eddie is just staring at him, brown eyes wide, a little furrow between his brows, and is just confused. Concerned.
“If you keep driving,” Steve murmurs, almost dejectedly. He ducks his head low and turns back to the window. “I’ll tell you.”
It works— the engine rumbles back to life and the wheels roll gently back out onto the road, just a couple more minutes from Forest Hills. Steve watches the road and tries to grasp for the right thing to say, each possibility dissolving like smoke. His eyes squeeze shut tightly. The rain dins loudly on the roof of the van, a song and dance of the elements.
By the time they’re entering Forest Hills, Steve still hasn’t said a word. The van crawls up into its usual spot, next to Steve’s own car, and Steve stares down at it. He can hear the soft click of Eddie’s seatbelt as he releases it.
He supposes it’s too late now, anyway. Eddie already knows. He keeps his eyes out the window as he speaks, his voice flat and dull.
“I just... I didn’t want you to think that I’m an idiot, too.”
There’s a questioning noise behind him, a little noise from Eddie’s throat that slips out, unbidden.
“Too?” He echoes. “Steve? Who thinks you’re an idiot?”
Steve huffs loudly and turns back, throwing his hands up. “Jesus, who doesn’t? Would you like a list?”
Eddie’s face twists into a meaner expression than Steve's ever seen before and for once, he properly matches the dark clothes and spooky tattoos he dons.
“Yes. And I’ll go door to door— wait,” He shuffles, shifting up onto his knees so he can stretch over the console and place his large hands on either side of Steve’s face, directing his gaze towards him.
It’s reminiscent of a kiss not too long ago. Despite all the burning self-deprecation that churns inside, the pleasant reminder dulls it significantly.
“I’ll go door to door to anyone who ever made you feel that way,” Eddie repeats, now face to face with Steve, their noses nearly touching. His brows are still pull tight into a furious frown. But it's not at him, Steve realises. “And I’ll do something— I’m not sure what yet, but it’ll be foul and like, maybe I’ll put instant mash potatoes on their lawn and— okay the specifics aren’t relevant but this— this is.”
He searches Steve’s face intently, eyes darting around, making sure the message is sinking in. His expression softens out, his eyes suddenly sweeter than before. “You’re aren’t an idiot, Steve. You aren’t an idiot for making a mistake and I’ve never thought that about you.”
Steve blinks. Swallows heavily and god fucking dammit, is the thickness in his throat ever going to disappear? This time it feels different though. He’s not sure how.
“You don’t think I’m an idiot, do you?” Eddie asks.
Steve shakes his head, moving Eddie’s hands with them at the same time. It’s true, he doesn’t. Eddie is… goddamn fucking wonderful. He’s like a warm summer shower through the wretched seasons of Steve’s life. One of the reasons it was worth living through the entire ordeal of 86.
The rain outside continues, pitter-pattering on the roof, somehow softer than it was a second ago.
“Okay,” Eddie says, a small smile on tugging on his lips.
“Okay,” Steve says back. He tries for a smile and it’s easier than expected, though it wobbles at the ends. It doesn’t matter— Eddie is still gazing at him, brown eyes shining and Steve believes what he says.
“Okay,” Eddie says one more time, his smile turning closer to a grin. “Let’s go make some cocoa, yeah?”
He moves to retract his hands but Steve moves faster, his hands darting up to hold them in their place, palms against his cheeks.
“Wait,” Steve murmurs, watching how Eddie stills and keeps his closeness, their noses still a couple inches from touching— and Steve clings to the threads of courage in him tightly.
His hands slide off Eddie’s, grasping lightly at his wrists, and it’s easy to lean forward and connect their mouths in one swift motion.
Eddie squeaks— then melts.
It takes half a second before he remembers to kiss back, equally as enthusiastic and it’s nothing like the first kiss they shared under the covers. The rain dances around them and Steve swipes his thumbs over Eddie’s pulse soothing, feeling the barest jump of his rabbiting pulse.
When he shifts back, breaking the kiss, Steve keeps the closeness, the tips of their noses bumping together. Eddie’s hands feel blazing warm on Steve’s cheeks but when his lashes flutter open, catching sight of Eddie’s glorious pink cheeks, he thinks it might be his face burning up too.
They tumble inside through the rain and with all of Steve’s prayers answered today, they also share a blanket on the couch, ankles linked beneath the rumpled fabric. They make hot chocolate, Steve’s style, and sip it at, making googly eyes at each other over the rim of their mugs— until Eddie laughs too much and spits it down his front.
Steve doesn’t feel stupid again— unless that is, you count feeling stupidly sappy.
(He does not.)
#get it OUTTA MY SIGHT#god this ate up too many hours for the final product#resisting the urge to boo my own work#ruby writes steddie#steddie#steve x eddie#steddie fic#steddie fanfiction#steddie ficlet#hurt/comfort#technically it is tehe#steddie hurt/comfort#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve harrington x eddie munson#steve harrington hurt/comfort#uhhhhhh that's all folks.#i just need a boost im having a week and its friggin. monday#okie byeeeeee
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Cool plant fact 🌿 ~
template if you want
#hi its tosteur yes i had to add the minecraft font in *post production* because im WAY TOO LAZY to write that pixel by pixel#i already suffered enough with my omofalls pixel arts#mod tost#omori#daily basil#art#drawing#omori basil#digital#basil#basil omori
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You’re not less deserving of rest if you didn’t have a productive day. It’s okay to be just tired. You don’t even need to be having a pain flare up, or a relapse, or chronic fatigue, or to have slept poorly last night to validate your exhaustion. You don’t need to justify feeling tired to anyone. You are human and you deserve rest no matter what. Don’t beat yourself up for not being as productive as you wished you were, for being tired and burned out. Take care of yourself, and do it unashamedly because rest shouldn’t be earned, neither should any of your needs. That’s all they are: your body is signaling to you that it is tired, or hungry, or thirsty or sleepy. Your body is not worse than others for needing those things, even if you think it needs more rest than other people do. It’s not broken, it’s not bad, it’s just telling you what needs so it can keep going. Take care of those needs, don’t blame it on yourself, please don’t let guilt make you feel ashamed of needing anything. 🌱
#self-acceptance#self-care#self-worth#on shame#on guilt#on rest#original writing#on being human#perfectionism#exhaustion#on productivity
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