#writing again! tho this was a pain and took forever to finish

[intermundia]

hey friends! happy to report that i've published a new chapter of fic, and it's a continuation of my Tilted story, so those who are here for exploration of gender dysphoria and truly gratuitous porn, this is for you! it's set post zygerria, where anakin has gone undercover as a slave in a skimpy outfit, and hated it <3

[wandabear]

Finders Keepers (but keeps it forever) - Wanda Maximoff x Werewolf female reader

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CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR  CHAPTER FIVE

ㅤ ㅤㅤ note: I'm going to leave these songs, you'll need them.

Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane in my mind ofc. First part - Touched - VAST. Second part - Dress - Taylor Swift

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“Everything has changed since that first full moon. And it has been for the last months, and the worst part is it hasn't been just one full moon after another, but also an eclipse at the same time. Yeah, it wasn't the best time in my life. ㅤㅤ  

Believe me, if there is something worse than a blood full moon it is: a fucking eclipse.

ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ

My moods have been very different, more volatile than normal and also more sensitive. My appetite increases more and more, which is not strange since my metabolism changed a lot.

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Everything was fine until this morning. I was feeling good, I felt whole again. It could be said that I could even smile. Took a long hot shower, the water running down my body. The raspberry scent of the soap seemed stronger than normal, but it was delicious. I could smell the coffee in the kitchen, surely Jules was cooking something because the smell was so damn good. I wouldn't leave her alone too long in the kitchen tho. You would think: what’s wrong with all that? It all sounds pretty nice, right?

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My teeth started to hurt, the first time I thought maybe it was some dental infection or something. This wasn't a first time tho. A loud beep forced me to hold on to the bathroom wall, the noise of the drops hitting the floor resounded in my ears.

Falling harder, hitting the ground, it was too loud. Painful.

ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ���

Seeing myself in the reflection I could notice a slight change in my eyes, remarkable. Began to slowly turn into an almost animal and primitive yellow. ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Something is brewing inside of me, something that recognizes me and I recognize as myself. It’s my eternal companion, cause once in a while, its allowed to get out, but don't mistake that for freedom.

I look at my reflection and can see that it smiles unlike me. The wolf knows that its winning and I need to know why. I need to know what's going on.

Am I the owner of my own body? Or am I just a guest? Is this my body still?

ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ I can feel it. It's like the blood boiled inside me, the heat became unbearable. The pumping of the heart, pounding in my own ears. The sound of the bones breaking will only increase the horror show. From beneath you, it devours. It consumes you... Slowly. Beast talks to me, whispers to me, seducing me. Because I can't deny myself anymore, it's what I am. Jules was right about something, the wolf is inside me, all the time. And I can no longer divide the line that separates us, the wolf and me. I can't help it. I can’t control it. And I can't go back to you.

ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

Wanda. I miss you."

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Y/N finished writing and sighed. She hesitated whether to send that e-mail or not, but as always, she just to deleted it. ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ She took her backpack and left the bedroom. Y/N looked out the window, the weather in Wyoming was turning cold and the trees were starting to turn white. But the cold was no longer a concern for her, she wasn't the same.

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They were back in Wyoming two months ago, Y/N and Jules traveled trying to find a cure or more information about who they were. Traveled all over the world, from Alexandria to the vast African savannah, from the cold forests of Wyoming to the hot South America.

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Lobisón, Loup Garou, Werewolf, Úlfheðnar, Luchthonn, Rougarou. So many names that tried to identify them, to many places, too many cultures.

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But wherever they went, every book, every shaman, every person who knew about their true nature just told them that there were no cures for such a curse. Although some didn’t consider it a curse, some considered it a gift.

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A gift was a billion dollars, this was not a gift at all.ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

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Now living in the woods near a Native American reservation, the people recognized their nature and allowed them to stay, as long as the girls stayed away at certain times of the month.

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It was a good deal, enough to evade the hunters who were always on the lookout for supernatural creatures to kill. And even if the girls kept themselves locked up at every full moon, Hunters never ask, they'll just shoot.

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“It’s coming… I can feel it.”  Jules told her as she placed a huge bowl of spaghetti in front of her, Y/N took a seat at the table. Her friend spent the afternoon making a delicious dinner, enough to calm the hunger, and the hunger of the beast within.

Even if they knew it was impossible, at least they felt less guilty.

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“Thank you.” Y/N sighed.  “Sometimes I feel like it's... overwhelming. Also feel revitalized, so positive, like I can do anything.”

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“I know… But we will get through this together, those were difficult months.” Jules reached out to squeeze her best friend's hand.  “But we'll keep doing it, until this is over.”

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Y/N took some bread before starting to eat.  “I'm starting to think this isn't going to end. I don't think we'll find a cure.”

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“Me neither…” Jules smiled sadly but leaned over to take some cheese. “But it will stop, even if it means our hearts no longer beat.”

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They ate in a comfy silence for a while until Y/N hesitated.

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“Jules?”

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“Yes?”

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“I want to go back to New York.” Y/N just dropped it. That surprised Jules who just frowned somewhat worried.

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“Y/N…” Jules looked at her food kinda sadly, already talked about it many times but neither seemed ready for that.  “You know it's not safe for you to come back, nor for those who loves you.”

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“I know, but… Yelena sent me this.”

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Y/n sighed deeply and reached her backpack, pulling out what appeared to be an invitation, the paper was light purple. “She's getting married, Jules. I can't leave her alone on such a day… She’s my best friend.”

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Jules took the card in her hands, looking that beautiful invitation. Kate Bishop and Yelena Belova invited them to be part of the union of their love, in a beautiful golden font. Damn, she was so damn weak for romance. “It's in three weeks... I don't know... You'll be very close to the next full moon, Y/N. Like a week.”

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“I know, I plan to go back before then. Just attend the wedding and that's it, I'll be back.” Y/N looked like a little puppy, asking please to say yes.

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Jules just was quiet for a moment, then nodded.

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“You’ll have to take care of yourself and take care of those around you. You know that a week before the full moon we get... hungry.”

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“Then it’s a yes?” Y/N looked up, surprised. “Are you saying that...”

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“I'm saying you should visit your friends.” The girl smiled and continued eating her spaghetti. “After all, people don't get married every day, right? You should get out of all this for a bit, just don’t bite.”

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“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Y/N got up, hugged and kissed her friend's head, making Jules laugh.

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“You're welcome, pal, just call me if you need anything.”

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“Oh no, you’re not staying here. You come with me.” Y/N sat back down to finish the food.

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“Me?” Jules frowned, now more confused and worried than ever. “No, Y/N. And what am I going to do there? I don’t know anyone.”

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“You’re coming with me, that’s it. If I have to war a dress or a suit to go to a wedding, you'll come with me, I said.”

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“Okay, but can I choose my own dress and-” Jules said so excited, a big smile on her face, when suddenly stopped, putting her hand towards her belly. Dishes smashed to the floor, she took a deep breath.

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Both girls hissed in pain at the same time, feeling a deep stitch in their bodies.

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“We have to… we have to go now.” Y/N managed to say getting up slowly after the pain passed, she looked out the window seeing that the sun would go down soon. According to google, sunset would arrive in an hour.

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The brunette watched as Jules opened one of the safes hidden behind a painting and took out a suitcase. They both left the house and walked in the forest for perhaps ten minutes until they found to an old abandoned cabin. ㅤㅤㅤ

The owner was dead, now that cabin was their property. The important thing was that under that cabin, below the cabin, an old basement served as a prison every full moon. After working on it for a few weeks, they managed to make sure it was strong enough to hold them.

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Silver was their ally, the bars were made of iron and silver as were the chains and handcuffs that would keep them trapped all night.

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Y/N took the briefcase, inside were four syringes with a liquid derived from wolfsbane and powdered silver, that would weaken them enough. On top of that, there was a gun and many silver bullets. The necessary so that if either of them crossed the line, they would use it without hesitation.

ㅤㅤㅤ Of course none would, they weren't capable. ㅤㅤㅤ

“I choose tails, you have heads…” The Boston girl announced as she tossed a coin. “Head. This time you go first.”

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Y/N nodded, walking towards the cell where she would be held for the night. The claws on the walls showed the chaos of every month. Jules helped her put on each of the shackles, closing them tight.

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Seeing the pain the silver chains was causing on Y/N, Jules tried to be as gentle as possible, helping her to sit on the floor.

Y/N swallowed as she felt an invisible pressure around her neck, hands and legs. So agitated, sweat began to fall down her forehead. But while the silver around her made her feel tired, it wasn't enough.

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“I love you, okay?” Jules tried to calm her down, though she knew it was impossible. She took the syringe and even though her hand trembled for a moment, ended up injecting Y/N’s leg as fast as she could. “Don’t be afraid.” ㅤㅤㅤ

As soon as she finished saying that, Y/N squeezed Jules arm so harsh, that if she were human it would have broken easily.  Pain was visible on Y/N's face, those eyes filled with tears.

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“It hurts…” Y/N whimpered under her breath, clenching her jaw hard. The pain she felt was so deep and blinding, how each of her muscles contracted. Her heart pounding harder than ever, that pain was too much but necessary.

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“I know, luv.”  Jules just kissed her forehead, trying to comfort her.  “But this will weaken the wolf, making the night less... difficult.”

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Jules moved away seeing how Y/N closed her eyes and hugged herself, trying to bear the pain. She locked the cell and threw the key a few feets away, far enough so that Y/N couldn't take it.

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Y/N looked up to see how Jules locked herself too.

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“Everything will be okay.” This time, she tried to make Jules feel better.

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“We will.” Sighing deeply, Jules injected the liquid into her leg really harsh. There was no time to be soft, soon the moon would rise and both would give way to the beast. Jules stifled a cry of pain and just closed her eyes feeling the wolfsbane reach the bloodstream.

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The silver would weaken them enough, though not too much to kill them. They both hissed and writhed in pain for a long time until exhaustion began to wear them down, barely keeping their eyes open.

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“Good luck.” Jules slurred.

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“Please, be safe.” Those were Y/N's last words before closing her eyes.

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But the peace of mind didn’t last long.

Maybe ten minutes later they both woke up suddenly, their hearts beating so damn fast. Her hands trembled uncontrollably.

Y/N took a deep breath, the heat suffocate her little by little. While the sun hid between the mountains, the wolf woke up in that cabin.

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Like every full moon, the calvary began.

ㅤㅤㅤ Feeling how each of her bones broke with a chilling synchrony, how each fiber of her skin ceased to be hers and regenerated. Break and regenerate itself.

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Again. And again.

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Those eyes were no longer the same, a body which no longer belonged to her. How her will was given to a more primal being.

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Releasing her and demanding Y/N to release it, set it free. Feeling the depths of the true nature, her true nature, so primitive and ancient but so natural at the same time.

But as every dawn, devotion and fidelity remains in Y/N’s heart. As well as the wildness and the wiliness.   Every night her bones are breaking, howling in pain.

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The brunette fell to her knees, placing hands against the floor, clinging to its coldness to calm the inner fire, but it was impossible. The human fangs grew longer and sharper, the color of Y/N’s eyes changed to a wild shade of yellow.

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She watched as her fingers clawed hard, finally letting out a scream.

A scream that was followed by a long howl, welcoming her new figure. The female and human figure was left behind, the Wolf was here now. Much larger than normal, but still a big, scary, wild wolf.

The fur was dark, while Jules's was a little more gray. Both glared at each other, far from looking for a rival, they connected. Now they were a pack.

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Both beasts struggled to free themselves from their bonds but it was impossible, the silver kept them locked up and the wolfsbane kept weakening them. At least all night. ㅤㅤㅤ

That was all they needed.

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The birds singing made Y/n open her eyes slowly, lying on the cold floor of the cell. She sighed deeply, feeling how her whole naked body ached in a terrifying way.

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“Fuck.” She growled.

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It was like the worst hangover in the world, she thought. Those were the exact words Jules told her, and she confirmed it since she was bitten.

Carefully, the brunette got up trying to take the backpack with clothes that they left the day before.

As she put on her oversized T-shirt, she heard Jules groan sleepily waking from that awful dream.

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“Welcome back, princess.” Y/N waved as she opened the cell and handed some clothes to Jules, who was just covering part of her naked body with her hands. Although to be fair, she didn't care about Y/N seeing her naked or anything anymore.

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After half an hour, they returned to the house dragging their feet from pain and exhaustion. The hunger they felt was enormous; the beast always wanted to satisfy the ancestral hunger but it had not been fed for a long time.

And it never would be. It just left a horrible feeling, like they hadn't eaten well for a week.

ㅤㅤㅤ The brunette noticed how Jules was stroking her forehead when she was making some grilled cheese sandwiches, so she took some pills and a glass of water and handed them to her.

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“Thank you. Silver is a bitch.” Jules growled, taking a few pills at once. “But at least that way we know we're not hurting anyone.” ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hurts too much but we have to pay the price for a clear conscience.” Y/N said and they began to devour their sandwiches. You could see the pleasure on their faces, like they hadn't eaten for weeks and finally got their favorite food. ㅤㅤㅤ

“So…” Jules licked her lips after drinking some of the juice. “We're going to the Big Apple.” ㅤㅤㅤ

“Two werewolves in New York.” Y/n nodded, licking the remains of ketchup from her fingers. “This is going to be fun…” ㅤㅤㅤ

��Where to, ladies?” Asked the taxi driver with his voice raspy due to smoking.

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Y/N and Jules left JFK airport after a nearly six hour flight, but the cold air against her face made Y/N smile.

Oh, she loved New York in April.

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“71 Manhattan Ave, please.”  Jules said as she put the backpack to her side.

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“Expensive a bit.”  Y/N raised an eyebrow.

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“New York is expensive. What? We never go anywhere.” Jules shrugged and looked out the window at the busy New York traffic. “I thought we could treat ourselves this time.”

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“Yeah...we don't go to a wedding every day.” Y/N sighed and adjusted her sunglasses to enjoy the view. The trip was nice, despite the fact that it was 7 am.

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“Yelena knows I'm going with you?”

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“Yep, as my plus one.” The brunette whispered and remained thoughtful.

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She tried not to think about the consequences of the visit. What if Wanda saw her? What if she saw Wanda with someone else? Couldn't get over it, but she had to, for Yelena. She owed her after everything she'd helped Y/N.  Couldn't leave them alone on their wedding day.

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“You're worried that you're going to see Wanda, aren't you?” Oh, Jules knew her very well.

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Y/N swallowed and looked down. “It worries me to know that… I don't know if I can let her go once more if I see her again.”

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Jules just sighed and took her hand, squeezing it gently to show her support. “Everything will be okay, you’ll see.”

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The green-eyed girl looked at herself for a moment in the mirror, enjoying that brown color. After a whole year, her hair was much longer, a few shades darker.

ㅤㅤㅤ Wanda smiled as she saw her friend in the reflection.

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“You look great.” the sokovian whispered as she finished helping Yelena put on her dress. The blonde's eyes shone when she saw how the hair was ready, tied in a beautiful way. Sure Yelena wasn't wearing white, but a nice light color was enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ “Do you think so?” Yelena gasped and looked at herself in the mirror again. “Wow... I never thought I could get married. But bitch, I look amazing.”

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“I always thought that you looked more a dog person than a married person.” Natasha joked watching her from the door.

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“Oh make no mistake, sestra. I am both.” They all giggled happily, especially when they saw the happiness on Yelena's face.

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“And here you are… Looking more beautiful than ever.” Nat added as she reached over to hug her sister. Wanda joined in, making it the most powerful trident ever seen.

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“Okay, lots of love for now, I'll go see if Clint and dad are ready.” Yelena broke away and was about to leave the room when Wanda spoke:

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“Yelena… I know I said I didn't want to know...” Wanda hesitated before what she was going to ask. “Is Y/N coming?”

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Yelena sighed. “I think so, I hope so… I sent her the invitation so many times but didn't have an answer. Kate sended it too.”

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She just nodded and watched as Yelena closed the door behind her. Natasha and Wanda decided to adjust their own dresses and comb their hair for the beautiful moment, since they were the bridesmaids, of course.

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“You still miss her, don't you?” Natasha asked with a tiny side smile, although inside she felt really guilty about that. Seeing how her best friend suffered from Y/N's absence, knowing why she left and not being able to tell Wanda about it.

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“Me? Pff!” Wanda said pretending to be uninterested.  “No, no... of course not. I like Vision, he’s lovely. Remember?”

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“Yep… Still, you guys are nothing… like officially together or something. Just friends, right?” Natasha teased, knowing Wanda so damn well. She knew that if Wanda liked Vision so much -or as she was in love with Y/N before- it wouldn't have taken her so long to be his girlfriend.

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“Can we talk about Yelena? This is her day, not mine.”

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“Sure.” Natasha nodded but when she walked past Wanda she just poked her belly with a finger.  “Liar.”

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After getting out of the taxi and walking through that beautiful entrance full of flowers, Jules turned to see Y/N. She was wearing a nice femenine black suit while the Boston girl was wearing a flowery dress.

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“How do you feel?” Jules asked a little concerned, noticing Y/n's silence since they left the house.

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“A bit excited.”

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“Don’t worry, ‘kay? She's going to be so happy to see you.” They walked until they reached the entrance, luckily Wanda wasn't around. Only some people she knew, like Daisy, Steve, Bucky, Carol and the gang.

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“You look more nervous than me.” Y/N smiled as she watched Jules move her hands, a pretty clear sign of the anxiety she felt.

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“Hey, Y/N! So good to see you!” Daisy came over to hug her and then walking away to keep talking to Bobbi.

ㅤㅤㅤ “Y/N, I haven't seen you for so long!" Carol moved closer to hug her for a moment. She was wearing a black suit that looked spectacular on her, especially with her blonde hair. Carol turned to Jules, shaking her hand. "And who's this beauty? I'm Carol Danvers, I love your dress." ㅤㅤㅤ

"Thank you." Jules stammered. ㅤㅤㅤ

"Oh, don't you dare." Y/N warned the blonde and then took Jules arm to keep walking. "Stop sighing, she's a heartbreaker. Let's go."

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“Don't judge me, I'm about to walk into a wedding where no one knows me, I have social anxiety and I'm a werewolf close to full moon.” Jules licked her lips, glancing at some of the guests. “I have all the bingo numbers.”

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“Come on… We will eat some delicious snacks, we will dance some 90s and 2000’s bangs, you will see me depressed and gloomy when I see the love of my life. It will be fun.” Y/N nudged her and held out her arm for Jules to grab.

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Sighing, Jules took her arm and they both took courage before entering the church.

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The moment Yelena saw Y/N enter the ‘bride #2’ room where she and her bridesmaids were, went over to hug Y/N so tightly. Closing her eyes, so was glad her friend was there.

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“Y/N! I was afraid you wouldn't come.” The blonde moved and watched her with immense joy. “I missed you so much.”

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“I missed you too.” Y/N smiled happy, kissing her forehead. “You look beautiful, blondie. I’m so happy for you…”

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She turned to see the beautiful bridesmaids, Wanda and Natasha. Both wore beautiful wine-colored dresses, loose hair and a look that could kill.

That room was decorated with beautiful flowers, some drinks to make the bride feel more relaxed and everything she needed to prepare herself.

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“Hey, Nat.” Y/N smiled and gave Natasha a big bear hug before pulling away. ㅤㅤㅤ "I'm glad you came." Nat smiled happy to see her.

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"Yeah..." Y/N gasped looking at Wanda now. There she was, as beautiful as ever.

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“Wanda…” Y/N whispered. Her heart told her that she was still alive, and that it still belonged to Wanda. An entire year without seeing her, now she was there.

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“Hi, Y/N.” Although those green eyes looked excited to see her, Wanda tried to pretend and hide her emotion to show a cold face. “You looking good.”

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“Thanks… you still look beautiful! That dress looks so good on you...” Those words came out of Y/N’s mouth even though she didn't even think about it.

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Nat and Yelena looked at each other and walked away, knowing it was time to leave them alone before the ceremony. What Y/N didn’t know is that minutes before, Wanda noticed the presence of Jules, who was taking a seat next to Daisy Johnson.

Suddenly all the happiness to see Y/N vanished, feeling enormous jealousy. And right now she had Y/N in front of her.

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“So…” Wanda raised an eyebrow.  “You’re here.”

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“Yeah.” Y/N swallowed, adjusting her blazer.

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“With HER.” The Sokovian emphasized that last word, clenching her jaw. Wanda shook her head, felt so upset even if this was not the time to talk about it.  “Don't you feel guilty bringing her here with you? Not even a little? Isn't that embarrassing, Y/N?”

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Y/N frowned now, didn't understand what the hell Wanda meant, she was just dazed to see her again. “Wanda, what are you talking about?”

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“Oh, come on!”  Wanda just let out an ironic laugh, now that they were alone she could finally explode. “You were an idiot, but now I realize that I was the idiot all that time. I can't believe you're doing this!"

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“Wanda…”

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“No, you don't have the right to do this! This is my friend's wedding too, and I can't believe you brought that woman here knowing that I was in love with you!” Wanda pointed at her, annoyed. “That you ghosted me! And cheated on me!”

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“I didn’t ghosted you.” Y/N gasped and shook her head.  “Well, not like that, I mean…yeah, but no!”

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“Oh fuck you, Y/N!” Wanda shook her head and decided to get out of there, but Y/N dared to block her way. ㅤㅤㅤ

“I mean it, Wanda, Jules is not my girlfriend. I've never cheated on you!” She took her arm gently, not wanting to hurt Wanda but enough to hold her.  “She is like my sister.”

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“What?”

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“Umh, it's… more difficult to explain than you think but…” Y/N stammered scratching the back of her neck, she never thought she should explain who Jules was. Lie now and fast. “She’s like my sister, we share a bond… family. Not of blood, she is… beyond that.”

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“You and that girl aren't together? Never were?” Wanda's eyes widened in surprise, for a moment all the anger she felt against them seemed to diminish.

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At that moment Cassie Lang came into the room to tell them the brides would be arriving soon and that the bridesmaids and bestman should go to the aisle.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course not.” Y/N  laughed at how ridiculous that sounded, she opened the door for Wanda to go out first.  “She's not the reason I left.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh…” Wanda sighed and smiled shyly.  “That's good because Natasha is flirting with her right now, over there.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The Sokovian pointed towards the area where the guests were and could see how Natasha talked to Jules, clearly trying to win her over.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Damn, that was fast.” Y/N raised an eyebrow and they both laughed. "She beat Carol."

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry… I misunderstood all that. I saw you with her, leaving a coffee shop a year ago, before you left me alone. I thought you just… you left me for her.” Wanda pressed her lips together, finally confessing what she had hidden for so long.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It's okay. I saw you with Vision too…” Y/N wrinkled her nose.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, no. Ew. He’s just a friend.” She babbled nervously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good… but, umh… I was with her yes, taking care of Jules…she… had some trouble.” Y/N sighed wistfully.  “I can't talk about it here, but… walking away was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. To get away from you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Then you never forgot me.” Wanda's beautiful green eyes sparkled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I could never forget you, Wanda Maximoff.” Y/N smiled. Their gazes, impossible to detach from each other, they were face to face.  “I was so in love with you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“… Was?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N was going to keep going when Natasha's voice brought them back to life. “They’re ready.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Both nodded and settled on each side, Wanda walked away but not before saying:

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm glad she's not your girlfriend or something... but I don't forget that you ghosted me and you broke my heart.” Wanda definitely wasn't going to leave it like that. “We'll talk about this later.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N nodded and settled to the side next to Natasha and Wanda. On Kate's side were America Chavez, Cassie Lang, and Peter Parker.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The wedding march was heard, but then it was interrupted to play Yelena and Kate’s favorite song, making the moment one of the most beautiful Y/N has ever experienced.

The party had everyone quite happy, Yelena and Kate couldn't stop laughing as the guests danced to a catchy 2000’s song.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Feeling a bit thirsty, she went to the bar to order sometrhing and noticed that Wanda was expecting the same thing. The Sokovian drummed her fingers on the wooden table, lost in her own thoughts.

Damn, she really did look beautiful in that dress.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Y/N stayed next to her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Wanda smiled. The bartender finally handed her the cocktail and took Y/N's order.  “You alone?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“My ‘plus one’  is with your best friend over there.” She nodded at Jules dancing with Natasha and Yelena. “She was pretty scared that no one would listen to her. Look at her now!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The power of a few beers.” Wanda joked. After taking their cocktails, both walked away from the dancefloor to go to the terrace. “Where did you both meet? I mean, I know you, or at least I did and… your friends were Yelena, Kate, and Natasha.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/n swallowed, should she tell the truth? Why didn't she study what she should say and what not? The truth is, that Y/N didn’t expect to spend time with Wanda. She expected the Sokovian to reject and ignore her all night.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We knew each other for a while before… I left.” Y/N looked down to see her cocktail, rather embarrassed to talk about it like it was a normal thing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And it was noted how that affected Wanda, who seemed to be really hurt at the mention of that. "Why did not you call me? Why didn't you tell me where you were going?"

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I couldn't tell you.” Y/N begged Wanda not to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda snorted, shaking her head. "Sure."

ㅤㅤㅤ

"I mean it."

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?” Wanda persisted, she didn't want to let it go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cause…” Y/N was about to spill everything but just stopped, swallowing her own words. She looked around, everyone was enjoying the party or the food. “I can't tell you here, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda licked her lips, tasting the delicious cherry flavor from the drink and then leaned in to whisper:  “Is it a legal problem?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned. “What?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The problem you left is… a legal one?” Wanda cleared her throat. “Were you running from someone?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette thought about those words for a moment, was she really running from someone or from herself?  It was a tricky question.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah. Jules and I… we were running from someone.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I understand.” Wanda said a bit worried, now she understood the situation better although it didn't make it less painful. “Violent situation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, very violent. I didn't want to put you in danger.” Well, after all, that was true. Right?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm sorry about that.” The Sokovian sighed and took Y/N's hand, squeezing it gently. “I hope you can tell me well about it later. If… we can still… hangout sometime.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N stared at Wanda for a moment. Boy, did she look as beautiful as ever. Laughter caught both of their attention, everyone was definitely having a great time. Even the grumpy Bucky who was smiling, drinking and dancing. This wasn’t time to be the brooding werewolf girl trying to stay away, was it?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey... would you like to dance with me?” She finally held out her hand for Wanda to take, and smiled when the Sokovian did.

ㅤㅤㅤ “I was dying for you to ask it.”

The door opened quickly, letting in two women devouring each other between kisses, completely desperate.

Y/N's lips searched for Wanda's in a needy way, barely separating to breathe. Her hands were quick enough to release her body and close the door behind them.

Our secret moments in your crowded room. They got no idea about me and you.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh my god!” Wanda gasped, they both laughed at how ridiculously needy they were of each other.

ㅤㅤㅤ

After spending the whole night provoking each other between glances and smiles, thanks to alcohol too, both ended up kissing each other in a lonely area in the Chateau gardens.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I wanted this so bad, detka. Every night thinking of you.” Wanda whispered, closing her eyes to surrender to the pleasure. "Only bought this dress so you could take it off."

ㅤㅤㅤ

They both dropped into the hotel bed, stripping off their clothes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Say my name and everything just stops, I don't want you like a best friend. ㅤㅤㅤ

This was their first time together but it seemed like they had known each other forever. Caressing the exact areas to make the other melt completely.

Even if she wanted to stop, Y/N couldn't even control herself. As if she were possessed by the power of the next full moon, she devoured Wanda's lips with pleasure, desperately ran around her neck, owning her sighs.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Carve your name into my bedpost ,'cause I don't want you like a best friend.

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ

Of course it wasn't just a product of pleasure and passion; the silent, hungry beast inside urged her to want more. To adore that woman, to love her and to go completely mad for her. Wanda was hers. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sniffed Wanda's scent, closing her eyes, sighing deeply as if she were impregnated with it. As if she swore an eternal devotion to her, and what lived inside would gladly accept it.  

ㅤㅤㅤ

Don't bite her.

Don't bite her.

Don't bite her. If you love her, don’t bite her!

ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

Those words flashed through her mind over and over again. She shouldn't bite her, though that wouldn't mean spreading the werewolf venom, would it? She could only do it on a full moon. Or maybe... no. Even if the wolf wanted to bite her so bad, she would never do it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just growled with desire, ignoring all those thoughts and letting herself lose in desire.

Every kiss, every lick, every moan was printed in Y/N’s mind, on her skin and in her heart. The way Wanda dug nails into her back as they reached their first orgasm, or their second one, or their third one or the rest of them. All of this silence and patience, hands shaking from holding back.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Say my name and everything just stops. You made your mark on me, like a golden tattoo.

ㅤㅤㅤ

That was one of the most exciting, hungry and exhausting nights that both had lived.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The agitated breathing of both, resting in bed after hours of need.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That was amazing.” Wanda giggled happily, turning to see Y/n who didn't stop smiling either. “That was a good way to meet again...”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was. Damn, babe. You’re gorgeous.”  Y/N gasped, finally leaned in to give her a cute peck on the lips.

ㅤㅤㅤ Y/N knew that she was screwing up everything, it wasn't okay, she knew perfectly well that she was unleashing much worse chaos for later, only to live in the present. Still, she didn't want to get out of that beautiful moment.

They were back together, it was all that mattered.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And although for Y/N many awakenings were terrifying, this had been the most beautiful of all in her entire damn life. Seeing Wanda snuggled against her body, smiling sleepily in the cutest way in the world. Oh, that was heaven for sure.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Now I wake up by your side. My one and only, my lifeline. I woke up just in time.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And without hesitation, Y/N would sell her soul twenty times over to awaken her entire life like this, leaving behind a chaos she had never asked for. How was she able to endure all this time without Wanda?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you okay, detka?” Wanda asked curiously while she touched the brunette's belly. The morning sun tried to intrude between the curtains. “I see you're a bit thoughtful. Are you regretting this?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What? No! NO! Not at all!” She exclaimed desperately, but calmer when she saw how Wanda laughed.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m just kidding.” She laughed and kissed Y/N’s lips. “I'm going to the bathroom, don't you dare leave.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I wouldn't even think about it.” Y/N smiled at her, watching as the brunette bit her bottom lip, walking fully naked to the bathroom.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, god.” Y/N sighed and dropped her head on the pillow. She glanced the phone on the nightstand. Should she...?

ㅤㅤㅤ

Didn't want to come back to life outside of this room, but she had to be responsible for her actions.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N reached for her phone and looked at the notifications.

A very cute text from Yelena and Kate, two texts from Natasha asking where the fuck she was, and two from Jules.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I saw that you left me completely alone at the wedding (I’m so glad you did!) but thanks to the Russian redhead I was able to get home safely. (She’s taking me rn! I mean taking me home, not taking me- well, maybe later) Have some safe sex! Please, don’t bite your ex! I MEAN IT.” – from Jules, eight hours ago.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just rolled her eyes and giggled. Feeling in the clouds. Everything was back to normal for a few minutes and her chest filled with joy. Or perhaps it was the ego of wolf, knowing that soon it would be free.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda came out of the bathroom and upon hearing Y/N’s giggle, she approached smiling.  “What is it, detka?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What is it? I have you here with me, looking so fucking hot.” Y/N smirked. “Everything is perfect.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh shut up, flirty.” The Sokovian blushed, lying down next to her again.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You look like a goddess, Wanda Maximoff.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Those words reached Wanda's heart, those eyes shone with pure illusion. But to break the beautiful moment, Y/N’s stomach began to growl.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Someone’s hungry…” Wanda joked and they both laughed.  “Would you like to have breakfast together? Let me buy you something, because I don't have anything to cook here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N narrowed her eyes, playing with her.  “Of course not, it's a hotel, dummy.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, shut up.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Although room service was tempting, the high prices made them both look at each other and quickly get up to take a shower together, going to the nearest restaurant. Holding hands, like two teenagers in love.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you going to eat all that?” Wanda asked when she saw the amount of chicken club sandwiches Y/N ordered for herself.  

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, why?” The brunette took a bite of one of these, sometimes she forgot how much she had to eat and how surprised people were when they saw it. “I'm starving.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see…” Wanda smiled tenderly, sipping some coffee.  “Okay, after an interesting night where we couldn't talk... tell me what happened to you all these months. There are some changes in you, I can tell. Besides the scars on your body.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That took Y/N by surprise, fought not to choke on her food. “Well… like I told you, it's quite long story.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We have time.” Wanda raised an eyebrow. “I don't want to be annoying here but you owe me an explanation.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N took a moment before beginning.

ㅤㅤㅤ

"The situation with Jules... well, umh… you know-”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cut the crap, Y/N. I’m glad to see you and the sex was amazing but you better start talking right now.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “Okay, no need to be all bossy!” Sighs. “The night we saw each other and had our date, I had an accident.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

This took Wanda by surprise, leaning in.  “Y/N, what? Are you okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She nodded. “I had an accident which… I was slow to recover and Jules took care of me. That's when I met her.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just remained silent. Maybe trying to make sure Y/N was telling the truth.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That's why I couldn't call you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why didn't you do it later?” the sokovian asked skeptically.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I wanted to! Of course I tried. I just couldn't… the guy with who I had the accident that night was a very violent person. He attacked Jules… He was after her, threatening her so we had to run...”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Not even her realized how she tried to get out of that web of lies and mixed truths.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sounds scary.” Wanda seemed terrified with everything she heard, but above all, she felt somewhat guilty and worried.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You can’t imagine how much.” Y/N looked down. She had never talked about this with anyone but Jules.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“When I came to see you again, a year ago, I just… couldn't. I saw you with Vision and I saw that you were fine, I didn't want to get you in this huge trouble.” She shrugged, remembering the jealousy when she saw that stupid british guy.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N… you would never get me into anything dangerous.” Wanda took her hand and caressed it. “I know.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed, was that really true? She was the one who was really dangerous now.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So…” Y/N decided to keep going and not sink into the guilt. “We left the city, we were traveling for a while to get rid of the… guy.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Wow, that sounds so sad and lonely.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda sighed and kissed the back of Y/N's hand, thinking about everything Y/N went through alone.  “I really missed you, a lot.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I missed you everyday.” Y/N confessed with immense pain, leaning over to kiss her lips one more time.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So... knowing that you're not seeing anyone and that you still like me...” Wanda bit her lower lip. “Can we…?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled tenderly. “I don’t like you, Wands, I’m still in love with you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda finally smiled happily.  “Can we still see each other?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though it took her a moment to think about it, Y/N just answered with the heart and not her mind, not knowing the chaos it could bring.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course.” She leaned down to kiss Wanda’s lips. “Now that I see you, I can't let you go.”

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?”  Jules yelled, shaking her head and closing her suitcase.  “I’m this close to kick your STUPID, IRRESPONSIBLE ASS!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Jules… please!”  

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, Y/N. This is… This is beyond irresponsible!” She stormed into the living room angrily.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Exactly as Y/N thought, Jules hadn't taken well to the fact that she and Wanda were seeing each other again. Especially the story she made up to keep from telling her the dangerous and scary truth.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps the fact that the moon was full tonight made them both have a more explosive temper than normal.

"How long have you both been seeing each other?!"

"A week? Since we came here..."

"Y/N, you can't do this. I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THIS!"

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Jules, come on! I can’t lie to her.” Y/N tried to follow her friend.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“YOU’RE LYING ANYWAY! SWEET SUFFERING JESUS, Y/N! I told you that this was not safe for you or for them!” She put her hands on the hips, trying to calm herself. Jules inhaled deeply, then exhaled. “Are you dating again?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why is it a problem that I’m dating Wanda?” Y/N just flopped down on the sofa, utterly defeated. She felt like a scolded puppy.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“For the same reason we left. Because you're going to hurt her again! She doesn't deserve that! That girl is amazing…” Jules felt so upset with Y/N and with fate for making them suffer so much. 

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But I'm not going to hurt her, I want to be with her. I'm not going to leave her again.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That's much worse, Y/N!" Jules watched her like a bird of prey.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I can do this… and be with her too, right? I can hide every full moon, we go to the woods like we will tonight. I'll rent the cabin every month...”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N…” Jules tried to talk but Y/N stopped her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Jules, I miss her so much. You have no idea how much it hurts." Y/N's voice broke, she brought her hand to her chest trying to calm the deep pain was feeling. The wolf didn't want to let her go either. “I can't be away, I tried to get away... but I can't do it anymore. I'd rather rip my heart out than lose her again. I love her. Jules, please, I love her.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules sighed and all the anger inside vanished when she saw the tears in Y/N's eyes, she walked over to sit next to her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Do you feel okay knowing that you lie to her every time you see each other?” This time, her voice was sweet and calm.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No… I feel like shit.” Y/N looked at her hands.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Does she know all the pain you go through every month? Is she capable of choosing you knowing the danger she's into? Look… I know it's hard, I know letting her go was horrible… but you have to be honest with her. Or walk away."

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N didn't say anything, just kept looking down.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You're not just exposing her to the wolf, Y/N.” Jules looked at her with sadness. “You’re exposing her to people who's going to hunt us down if they find out. Hunters are something you don't want to mess with... they'll use her to their advantage.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette just nodded. “I'll talk to her after tonight’s full moon.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“As you need. Now we’ve to go.” Jules squeezed her shoulder and then got up from the sofa, they both took their keys and left that apartment a bit in a hurry. “I’ve paid for two more weeks... you can stay that long here while you figure it out.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N nodded and they both went downstairs, but the brunette stopped when her phone rang indicating that she had a new text.

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Detka, are you home? or free tonight? I would like to take you to a nice place.” - From Wanda, few seconds ago.

ㅤㅤㅤ

"Fuck."

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Jules asked seeing Y/N's disappointed face.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s Wanda.” Y/N sighed, she was feeling so frustrated. Of course, what she wanted most was to go with Wanda on a one-of-a-kind date on a beautiful full moon, and not spend it locked up watching her best friend suffer. Turning into a dangerous monster.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules didn't say anything, she knew that for Y/N it was already painful enough. An 'I told you so' wouldn't help at all.

Y/N proceeded to write fast as they went downstairs.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, babe. Sorry, can’t do it tonight. I'm not home either, I'm working and I'll have to stay overnight. I'm sorry!” – Sent a few seconds ago.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed deeply before leaving that building, walking with her best friend to the car they rented. But what she didn't know, nor had she noticed, was that Wanda was parked in front of the house, with Y/N's favorite coffee and buns, ready to surprise her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The sokovian saw how Y/N got into the car and took off with Jules. She looked at her phone and saw that the last text was: 'you don't know how hard it is to work here right now! I'm exhausted!"

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Of course Y/N was lying to her again, but why?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Without hesitation, Wanda sped up to follow them and find out what the hell they were up to. Once and for all.

Oh my. I hope you enjoyed it cause the next one is... WELL, MESSY. 🌙 I'm gonna leave the songs again here: First part - Touched - VAST. Second part - Dress - Taylor Swift

ㅤㅤㅤ

the cutest and lovely people tags ✨ : @lijo-8 , @duck-5 , @username23345 , @i-need-somebody-else , @lattayhottay16 , @germz19 , @chaeismybae , @mrns21 , @whhyyynottt , @tita001 , @dont-worry-aboutme-darling , @is-mise-rachel , @devilsanus616 @imnotasuperhero @wandanatfan @katiemay-025

Thank you for reading me, my honeybees. I'll leave you a song.

Thanks you so damn much to the people who leave a ❤️ , 🔁 and leave comments -even as an anon on my box of requests-, you make me keep writing. And you're making my life easier! 🐻ㅤ

ㅤ

[hxney-lemcn]

Demon or Angel? — John Ward x gn! demon! reader Pt. 2

summary: Reader finds out that John is about to go against the cult on his own. So they join him.

tw: Stalking, injury, description of blood, nothing the game doesn't already have.

a/n: Soooo I decided to continue this. This is the last instalment of it tho. Annnnnd I might have finished the second half of this fic on my phone at work so if the writing changes that's why.

wc: 4.4k

Master List | Part 1

It’s been awhile since I last talked to John. My patience was thinning, and I wanted to talk with him again. So I decided to visit him at his place of work!

Yes, a risky move for a demon. Dealing with a crucifix was nothing compared to walking on holy ground. But I decided to risk it. Really give the little priest the surprise of his life. I hummed softly as I entered the church, a fast food bag clutched in my hands. 

I tried to ignore the burning sensation that lit my nerves on fire. It took me a few minutes to find his office. I walked in, not caring to knock. 

“You forgot your lunch honey,” I teased, placing the bag on his desk he sat at. The look on John’s face at that moment will forever be ingrained in my head. The look of pure shock and disbelief was just so funny and cute! 

“How are you even…” He trailed off in disbelief. 

“Awe c’mon,” I pouted, taking a seat. “Aren’t you happy to see me?” His face hardened and I sighed, “You didn’t actually believe I was just gonna leave you alone after that right?” 

“You are not welcome here, demon,” John glared. 

“I can feel that,” I muttered, the burning sensation a constant buzzing. “But I couldn’t let my favorite little priest go hungry.” 

“So you risk your life…to give me food?” He asked, incredulously. 

I hummed, looking off in fake thought, “Hmmmm pretty much. I hope you like it, I’m 99% sure I got your favorite.”

John looked in the bag and took out the food, reluctantly thanking me. I internally patted myself on the back as he took a bite. Once more I got him to slightly trust me, even if it was miniscule. I leaned back, taking in my surroundings. 

Once he finished, he asked, “Why are you doing this?”

I stared at him blankly, “Well if you can’t comprehend that it’s just cus I want to, then think of this as a gift to get to know the neighbors. I’m (y/n), nice to meet’cha cutie.”

John’s mouth opened and closed, and I sent him a satisfied grin.

“You’re gonna see me a whole lot more,” I chuckled, standing up. “But I think I overstayed my welcome.”

I waved at him as I left, limping slightly as the pain of being on holy grounds was becoming unbearable. 

I saw him the next day. I was tending to my new house’s garden. 

“John!” I greeted him cheerfully. “Fancy seeing you here.” 

“Hello,” He acknowledged. “Your little charade won’t last long.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I grinned up at him. “Don’t forget to bring lunch today sweetheart!” I watched as he drove off letting out a dreamy sigh. Too bad he seems to still hate my guts. 

I went back to planting flowers in my front lawn. It was a nice pass time. How did I obtain enough money to buy a house? Don’t ask silly questions! Once I finished I stood back to admire my work. Maybe humans got some things right, there are some pleasures to be found in the mundane. 

The next morning, I found myself watering my newly planted flowers. I was minding my own business until a car pulled up in front of John’s house. I watched from the corner of my eye as a man in priest attire walked up and slipped a letter through the mail slot in John’s front door. 

“Hello Father!” I called out. “What’s brought you to this neck of the woods?” He turned to me and I just waved cheerfully.

“Something you don’t need to worry about,” He said solemnly. “Just some matters with the church.” 

“I was thinking of making John some dinner tonight, do you think he’d be home in a timely manner?” I asked ‘innocently’. 

“He’s on an important mission,” The priest started explaining. “He doesn’t need any distractions.”

My face turned blank, “I think you should stay out of other people's business, puta.” The gray haired man looked at me in shock but I just smiled at him and waved, “I’ll make sure John gets your message Father.”

He turned around and walked back to his car quickly. One perk about blending into humanity is that priests can’t just point up their little crosses to check if you're a demon. Not like it’d do much to me anyways. I waited a bit after that, making sure the coast was clear. I was curious about this ‘mission’. It was obviously to do with that horrid cult. 

I casually made my way to John’s door. I took out the key I made a copy of when he was asleep. What? Who knows if he needed help but, oh no, the door’s locked! I closed the door behind me silently as I looked around. He wasn’t up yet, perfect. I reached down and grabbed the letter. I ripped it open, I mean no matter what it’s gonna be obvious someone was in here when he sees one of his letters are opened. I couldn’t help but notice he had three actually. I decided to ignore those ones as I opened the letter from the priest.

John,

There’s an apartment building in New Haven where they may be attempting to summon Malphas. I’m not able to go there myself. It’s up to you to stop their rituals. 

Vaya con Dios,

Father Garcia

I felt my face harden. What a stupid thing to say. “It’s up to you to stop their rituals”. Alone? That’s plain madness. I slid the letter back in the envelope, setting it back down on the floor. I took my leave, deciding to sit out on my front lawn for when John eventually tries to leave and stop a cult on his own. This Father Garcia is basically setting him up to get killed. I mindlessly watched the bees and butterflies that landed on my flowers until the sound of a door opening caused me to perk up.

“John!” I greeted, standing up quickly, cracking my bones in the process. “I’m coming with you.” I ran over to his car, waiting on the passenger side for him to unlock it. His brows furrowed, the dark circles under his eyes prominent. If I knew he was going to do something so stupid today, I would’ve helped him with his nightmares last night. 

“You opened my letter,” He muttered. 

“Yes,” I admitted openly. “And I think what you’re about to do is downright stupid. So I’ll join you so there’s a better chance of you coming out of this ordeal alive!” He continued to stare at me with his untrusting blue eyes and I frowned. I glared at him slightly before speaking, “If I wanted to kill you I would’ve done it by now.”

He unlocked his car doors and I grinned in triumph. I sat down in the passenger seat as he started the car. After I put on my seatbelt I turned to him, “You really are turning around!”

“Don’t get this wrong, demon,” He sighed out tiredly. “I’m just too tired to fight you today.” 

“My point exactly,” I pointed out. “If you can’t even fight against me, what makes you think you can fight a cult on your own?” John stayed silent at that. So, to try and lift his spirits a bit I continued, “You don’t have to do this alone, that’s why I’m here!”

John only glanced at me as I said that, but I knew I was getting to him. I stared out the window for the rest of the ride. Once we pulled up to the apartments I could feel the malicious energy that the building exhumed. When we exited the car, I grabbed ahold of his hand.

“What are you doing?” John asked, pulling his hand away.

I stared blankly at the building in front of us, “What would you say if I say we just hightail it out of here while we can?”

“As a man of God, I cannot allow this to continue,” John replied.

“I was afraid you’d say that,” I frowned.

We continued into the building. It was oddly quiet. I stood close to John, just in case something decided to jump us. We found Lisa's apartment number, but apparently we had to get a key from her friend first. I don’t know who this Lisa is, but she seems to be important to the cult in some way. Lisa’s friend’s door was wide open. I walked in first, making sure everything was in the clear before John followed behind me. He grabbed the key from behind her kitchen counter. I kept my eyes on the door that had a bloodtrail, you didn’t even need to be a demon to tell that something sinister lurked behind there. 

Before we left the flat, John stopped in his tracks, looking back towards the static t.v. I looked at him in concern as he continued to stare at it. I pushed gently against his back and he seemed to snap out of it. There wasn’t much to say as we went back into the elevator. I was more on guard, listening for the faintest of sounds of someone coming for us. 

John unlocked Lisa’s door. I once again went to enter first, only to stumble back out just as quickly, hissing in pain. I looked down at the entrance to see salt blocking the entrance. I looked in further to see a red glowing seal over a door. Salt blocked that entrance too, except  something seemed to have slipped past it. 

“You don’t have to go in there,” John spoke up, ready to enter.

“No,” I shook my head. “There’s something in there, I’ll be damned to let a little salt best me.” I took in a deep breath before pushing myself past the salt that laid before me. A burning sensation washed over me before dissipating just as quickly. I let out a breath of relief as John stood next to me. I kept an eye out as John explored, not liking this situation one bit. John came back from the bathroom, pocketing a key.

“We need to go to the top level and then the lowest,” He explained. Why was this so much work? I decided to keep my complaints to myself though.

“Okay,” I nodded. We left the apartment and headed up to floor ten. Once again, an apartment door was just open, and instead of a number it was marked as M. This all really didn’t settle well for me. It’s almost like they were expecting John. There was a note on the ground, it read,

BASEMENT DUMBWAITER

–How to Use–

Pull up on handle to open hatch.

Place item or being to be sacrificed inside the container.

Pull down on handle to close hatch.

Press button to send dumbwaiter to basement. Light will blink red if done successfully. 

Please make sure your sacrifice does not jostle around inside the container.

DO NOT OPEN THE HATCH ONCE THE DUMBWAITER HAS REACHED THE BASEMENT. I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH EARPLUGS AND I’M TIRED OF PEOPLE LOSING THEM.

Please wait for the green light to come one before using.

I looked towards the dumbwaiter, then to the t.v. set up. I frowned, not liking where this was heading. I walked over to the t.v. It was focused on a set of stairs, nothing too interesting. John walked over towards the dumbwaiter. 

“Do you have anything to sacrifice?” John asked. 

I pursed my lips, “Unless you want to be stuffed in there, no.”

John stared at me in slight surprise, although I’m not sure why. Was it really that hard to believe that I could like him? I mean I’ve been making it pretty obvious. John cleared his throat before taking out his crucifix. I felt my heart drop as he set it in the container and closed the hatch. The light started to blink red. Now he was truly defenseless. Good thing I tagged along, because now I’m not taking things lightly. I decided it didn’t matter if I looked like a human at that moment and changed into my demon form. I was more powerful this way, so if something or someone attacked us I could properly protect us. 

We walked out, and lit candles now lit our path. They really are fucking with John aren’t they? A tense silence was held over our heads as we went down and we suddenly stopped on floor four. As the doors opened a cultist painted in red stood there before slinking away. I held my arm out in front of John, my free hand up, claws ready. I slowly walked to the open doors, looking both ways. It seemed that the coast was clear. 

I watched over John tensely. Normally, I’d find joy in torturing a priest. But this was my priest, only I could drive him mad. And hopefully in a good way. If it was Father Garcia in this position, I’d be watching from the sidelines in joy. Maybe even joining in on the torment. Having to fight other demons was so tiring. I told him we should’ve just turned around. 

Walking down the hall, there was a camera on the floor. ‘I saw it’, was written in blood on the wall. I licked my lips, preparing for a fight. 

“The note said to run from it,” John said. “So whatever it is, don’t try to fight it.” 

“Okay,” I agreed wearily. And just as John picked up the camera, all the candles blew out, leaving us in darkness. Good thing us demons can see in the dark. I walked over to John, who took a photo with the flash on, lighting the area. I gently grabbed his shoulders while saying, “It’s just me John, I’ll help lead you.” 

He nodded, his tense shoulders relaxing just slightly. I led him forward, alerting him of the stairs. We got to Lisa’s friend's apartment, the door still open. Dread washed over me, I think we’re going to find out what’s behind that door. I didn’t even realize I stopped till John used the camera again. He started to walk in the direction of the door and I led him through it. 

I snarled slightly as my assumptions were correct. The previously closed door was now wide open. I walked him forward, entering the room. It was a bedroom, the left side of the wall had a giant opening. John took another photo, lighting the room up for him. I suppose he feels more at ease when he knows the layout of the room. I led him into the opening. My hair stood on end as I saw three cultists stand by an altar.

“Don’t use your camera,” I whispered into his ear. They didn’t seem to notice us. How dumb, they probably can’t see anything either. Though I suppose that works in our favor. I kept pushing John forward, around a corner, and into another room. Bodies laid about around a gaping hole in the ground. I rolled my eyes at the savagery. Can’t these demons get any better hobbies?

I tried to push John forward once more, but he didn’t move. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I leaned forward to get a look at his face. His eyebrows were also furrowed, his eyes closed, sweat beading down his pale skin. I patted his cheek gently, trying to get a reaction. Nothing happened for a few more seconds before he gasped, opening his eyes. 

“C’mon John, we’re nearly there,” I whispered, squeezing his shoulders, hoping to give him some sort of comfort before pushing him forward once more. That’s all we can do at this point. 

Once again we were out in the hallway. I alerted John of the stairs again, walking further down, and entering another apartment. I noticed a dagger in this room, and kept it in mind for later. I led John down more stairs. Once we reached the bottom, John flashed the camera, and my hair stood on end. A demon slowly drew towards us with each flash of the camera. My instinct was to attack, but I remember what John told me earlier, run. So I decided to just pick John up and run up the second set of stairs. What? Demons tend to be stronger than humans after all.

“W-what are you-”

I cut John off, “It’s easier to run this way.” The demon kept saying ‘mother’ for some reason, and I really couldn’t give a shit. I weaved through the shelves that seemed to be placed like it was purposely meant to trip someone up. Once I exited the room, we seemed to be okay. I took a deep breath, trying to regain my composure as I set John down. I held onto John once more, leading him down another set of stairs. 

“Thank you,” He whispered.

“Don’t mention it,” I replied just as quietly. “After all, only I can mess with you.” I quickly kissed the back of his neck, making him flinch forwards. I couldn’t help but chuckle under my breath, muttering ‘cute�� under my breath before focusing back on the task. 

I was so happy to find out we were on the 1st floor. I led John quickly down to the basement, ready to get this over with. I walked past the washing machines and towards an area of the basement filled with only candles, but also held his crucifix. Once he finally had a hold of his crucifix, the lights of the apartment complex seemed to turn on once more. I groaned, rubbing my eyes.

“C’mon,” I called. “I think I saw something further down.” 

We walked to the end of the basement. It seems a ritual was held recently. John picked up and read a note. I checked out the weird mask that was lying to the side. John then came over to me and held his crucifix to the mask. A spirit left it. We made sure we got everything before going back. Only for the same demon as earlier to attack us once more.

I followed the trail it left. Candles lighting up in its path. John held up his crucifix towards the demon, effectively hurting and making it back away. This went on for a few minutes before the demon was defeated.

We finally made our way out. Though we were not out of the woods just yet. A sudden surprise attack happened, and Malphas tried to possess John. I growled, knowing that there’s nothing I could do at this point. 

“Fight it John,” I cried out, hoping he could hear me. “I know you’re stronger!”

I clenched my fists as his face distorted. This damn thing, it better think twice after this. Suddenly John’s face went back to normal, his eyes darting around frantically. I rushed to him, holding his face gently in my hands, searching his eyes for any trace of an evil entity. He stared back, just as intensely. I let out a sigh of relief as I didn’t find anything. I leaned up and kissed his cheek before letting go of him completely.

“Don’t scare me like that again!” I exclaimed, slapping his shoulder gently. He only hung his head low. “What else do we need to do?” I asked softly.

“Find a dagger,” he replied.

“I know just the place.”

I led him back to the apartment that we went through in the dark. I watched as he cleansed it. Keeping an eye out for that damned Malphas. Finally, we went back to Lisa’s flat. I felt a chill run down my back as the previously sealed door laid open. 

I walked in first and let out a sigh. Of course, time to fight another demon. 

“Lisa, thank God you’re alright,” John said softly. My frown worsened, the feeling of jealousy flowing through me. Of course he’s got some other human he’s fond of.

“John…” She trailed off. “What took you so long? It’s so dark, I can’t see the light anymore.”

“I got here as fast as I could,” John said exasperatedly. His face is the definition of tired. “Let’s go home.”

My face scrunched even worse as the jealousy slowly consumed me. If I knew we were saving his little darling I wouldn’t have been so eager to join. What am I saying, leaving him, to do everything we did on his own? Then I would’ve lost the only person that intrigues me. 

“I’m not Lisa!” The demon who possessed her cackled. I rolled my eyes at the dramatics. John kept out of her reach as he held the crucifix up to her. The demon left her, and made fake copies of itself, going into the things that filled the room. John held up his crucifix to the closest one. Only, it was one of the fakes, causing the real one to come out and possess John. 

I quickly leapt towards John, holding him back from the girl. I couldn’t give two fucks about her, but I knew John would never forgive himself if something happened to her. The demon in his body, warping his beautiful face, pushed against me, scratching my arms until they bled. I didn’t let up my hold until the demon left him, going back to Lisa. I stood back once more as John tried to cleanse the demon out of her. This time, I watched closely as the demon fled. I pointed out the first one it went into to John and he aimed his crucifix at it. 

This finally revealed the demon, and John was able to sufficiently hurt it. This continued on a few times. Sometimes, we’d get the wrong copy and I’d have to hold John back once more. But we got the damn thing in the end. I leaned against the wall of Lisa’s apartment as John and her talked. I examined the scratches that covered my arms. The thick red liquid pooled at my fingertips. It’s going to be so annoying to deal with this. After the whole ordeal I made sure to look human so Lisa didn’t know that John was lowkey working with the enemy.

Once they finished, John walked over to me, glancing down at my arms. I simply pushed myself off the wall and walked past him, going towards the elevator. I felt a twinge of guilt, but I was tired, sore, and jealous. John entered behind me, pushing the button for floor one. It was silent between us, a certain tension filling the air. 

My breath hitched as I felt his hand slowly intertwine with mine. I looked over at him, feeling myself melt slightly. I don’t think I’ll ever understand these strange feelings he makes me feel, but perhaps we could figure them out together. 

We continued holding hands even on the drive home. I couldn’t stop staring at our hands. I was so happy that he was willing to hold my hand, let alone with how my blood now coated his pale skin. It was almost like I was claiming him! 

I was snapped out of my thoughts as we stopped. I felt saddened. I mean I wish I could’ve spent my time with John in a different way, but still, this was the most I’ve got to talk to him. And now I have to go home and clean up. 

I got out of the car, but before I could walk towards my house John spoke up, “Let me help you with your wounds, it’s the least I could do.”

My dull eyes brightened at his offer, turning to face him, “You mean it?”

“Of course,” He nodded, motioning me to join him. He let me into his house, leading me to the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the bathtub as he gathered some supplies. My human form slowly faded into my demon one, me being too tired to keep it up. 

He didn’t mention it though, he only kneeled down and started to clean my blood soaked arms. Though now it was harder to tell what was blood and what was my skin. It made me feel so…pampered and spoiled with him doing all this. Dare I even say…loved?

I didn’t flinch when he applied the alcohol. I wasn’t going to tell him that demons can’t be infected by Earthly viruses. I smiled softly as he finally wrapped bandages around my arms, making sure it wouldn’t fall apart easily. 

“Thank you, priest,” I thanked. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“You were harmed because of me-“

“I’m also a demon,” I replied seriously. “Or did you forget that?” He looked to the side, his hands on his knees. I sighed softly, “I just don’t want you to feel guilty about this. I mean I chose to go with, I knew what I was getting into. Plus I’m a demon so don’t waste your guilt on me.”

I could tell that John was having conflicting thoughts, “You can tell me what’s on your mind, cutie.”

“I’m…” He trailed off. “I should treat you like the demon you are, yet I feel myself weakening.”

My grin widened, though I tried to soften it, “Whenever you’re ready to let me in, I’ll always just be right next door.”

“I think you should stay,” He mumbled, but I heard him loud and clear. “Just so I can keep an eye on your injuries.” I think I’ll forget to tell him demons heal faster too.

I gently held his face between my hands once more, “You don’t have to ask me twice.” He leaned into my touch and my heart started beating faster. I just wanted to kiss him all over his cute face!

“You know we could even share the bed tonight,” I leaned over and whispered into his ear.

I pulled back slightly to see his reaction, only for him to gently hold my wrist, a rose blush on the apples of his cheeks. His eyes failed to meet my own. I kept waiting for his rejection, but he didn’t say a peep. I couldn’t stop myself from softly cooing at his flustered expression, running one of my hands through his hair.

“Come on, we deserve a good night's sleep after all that bullshit,” I said standing up. I pulled him up with me, and led him towards his bedroom, our hands intertwined.

[clovercalloway]

We Best Love: Episode 3, "Whats up, doc"

Sorry for the delay, I've been busy writing like crazy for two things: a project, and my books. It's been wild.

Writing is a hobby of mine but sometimes it feels like I have to finish things up before moving on and, gods, I have so many things to finish.

So, these reactions will take a bit more but at the end of the day I'm doing this for me as much as for my friend and the few who seem to enjoy this, so I WILL finish, no doubts about that.

With that being said, let's begin!

Okay, the intro lyrics are surprisingly easy, I keep singing them when the episode starts.

It's the doctor, and says he's got gastropathy.

So I went and searched what Gastropathy is and apparently is very dangerous, damn. Guess no spicy food for a month for me, y'all.

“I had it, why are you yelling at him" Cause you're boyfriends, whether you like it or not.

Even the doctor is saying "he cooked it for you, so of course, as your husband, he's also responsible for your almost death and I will yell at him". I might be paraphrasing a bit here.

HOLY GUACAMOLE

EVEN HE'S LIKE "I ASK MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION ALL THE TIME, DOCTOR, BUT I'M IN TOO DEEP, I CAN'T BACK DOWN NOW".

And also, thanks for spilling the tea, doc, how based of you.

“They look close”, says Shu Yi while the doctor and Shi De leave. And now he's finally thinking about 🌈 possibilities. Boy you're so oblivious.

“My future cousin-in-law”. Shi De can't keep a secret.

Now the doctor confronts him about why he still likes him despite not having his feelings required, and Shi De it's all: It started a long, long, time ago...

Wow, he's going for it. He's telling him the whole story of his 🌈 awakening.

“What's wrong with you?” Chibi-Shu Yi, what a way to start a conversation.

He keeps being rude and it's funny and cute for some reason, but Gao Shi De just keeps crying because his parents got divorced.

Shu Yi offers him his own dad, which is cute and all but I keep thinking of how technically being married would be a nice way of sharing a family. Just throwing ideas, Shu Yi.

“ I'll give myself to you" I literally can't show this to my mother and make her think it's not a bit fruity. She'll catch up. But glorious bread of every day, I'm enjoying this.

Don't scream your info, Shu Yi, my boy, someone will hear. But mother nature, creator of 🌈, this is too adorable.

Oh lord

He would be the cuddling type, you can't change my mind.

Best character already. I need to check your name again.

[Pei Shou Yi. I will remember you.]

"If you're so full of love, spread it". He keeps being a little shit and I love him for that. Anyways, Shi De definitely needs someone like him.

Is that a fruity backstory I see?????

Oh, now we're back to Shu Yi being bad at feelings even tho his friend, while failing to notice the obvious, it's trying.

But I do like that they're giving themselves a chance at normalcy again.

And that he's trying to be mature and taking this event as something that time will keep as an old memory instead of a painful one.

A guy invites them over to a party and the only things these two got from that interaction were "competition" and "good memories before graduation".

And of course, they took it in completely different directions

Now at the party, it looks like no one can handle the house of terror

Which also makes me wanna bring some popcorn since this is such a nice place for some romantic material.

Speaking of romantic material. Hello, Shu Yi's friend.

Ah...... This is a fantasy, right?

They're both about to kiss now, this is def a fantasy.

Yeah, he woke up.

That mask will forever be traumatized, tho.

He's back to being terrified and searching for Shu Yi to "protect him".

It's cute and at the same time I'm like "so he likes Shu Yi, at least a bit, why am I not surprised?".

Zheng Wen is there and, boy, you look like you'll die if someone as much as touches you.

Not at all, my soul just left my body, it happens.

Why take the easy jumpscare, Yu Xin? Please don't do this again.

OH, SO YOU'RE PART OF IT. Nice, I guess. Still, don't do this to me again, I'll die of a heart attack. The perks of being a scaredy cat, house-alone and watching this :D

Bro, it's supposed to be a romantic scenario, not a try-to-give-each-other-heart-attacks scenario.

Shi De encourgaes to go and when Shu Yi hesitates, he tells him that he thought he was over it.

I mean, that's the thing, he's reached the state of acceptance, but that doesn't mean it's not gonna hurt from time to time. And that's the key: time. Time to sort out his feelings, and to also let other feelings rest.

Anygays, Shu Yi is about to leave when he remembers that he's just like me and gets scared easily, and it's night and the school is scary and "why did I want to do this again? Oh, yeah, my gay ass rivalry".

He turns to serch for Shi De and to keep some of his pride by inviting him to go first.

Shi De: "I'm scared of ghosts" Bruh

Option 2: he's really scared of ghosts and doesn't know whether to follow Shu Yi or stay frozen and wait for help. OR, and hear me out, Option 1: he's a liar and just made up that as an excuse to create the romantic scenario I was talking about.

It's still a nice gesture because when someone else is scared it does give you more confidence since you're not the only one, and it also gives you a reason to actually feel more confident since you would want to protect that person if you like them on a certain level.

Shi De keeps being all "nuuu, I don't wanna go" and Shu Yi keeps trying to reasure him that he won't slow him down.

Wait, is he gonna take his hand and drag him?

Mother of biscuits it's happening

HE'S DOING IT, HE'S OFFERING HIS HAND

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW OBSESSED I AM WITH HANDS!!!!!

Shi De, we're really in it, now. I get you, bro.

BUT GIVE HIM YOUR WHOLE HAND, DON'T BE A COWARD NOW!

Now we're cutting to the other classmates/friends we know.

I was already thinking "I'll ship you two, ironically" but I don't think it's gonna be irony if they keep being like this by the end.

While they keep looking for our boys, Shu Di and Shi De are having a good time.

They're inside an office, looking for the stamp. And trying to keep Shu Yi's pride intact because he is, in fact, not scared, not at all.

Ah, yeah...

An idiot that you love. This is what you suscribed for, don't regret it now.

Whoops, the lights went out.

Are you saying that to Shi De or to yourself?

That's it, keep repeating it and you'll believe it.

He wants to get the hell out of there, like, today.

Whoops #2

Right on time, Shi De. Real smooth, catching your boy in your arms. Meanwhile, he's about to explode.

The funny music really sells it.

Well, they're trapped.

Are you enjoying this, boy?

"I thought you know this place well." I mean, I'm not gonna rule out that maybe Shi De was planning for this outcome, but that'd be wild, even for him.

Shu Yi keeps telling him to do something and Shi De is all "we're fucked, deal with it"

"Or Shou Yi will come and open the door tomorrow morning" So there is the possibility that you and the doctor are working together, is that what you're telling me?

Nah, that's too far fetched, tho I don't doubt doc-boy will try to help.

But, for real, he's enjoying this (Shu Yi being trapped with him and with no means to contact the outside world) way too much.

Shu Yi is hungry, the monster inside his stomach is making to much noise, and Shi De goes for the instant noodles in the room.

Shu Yi is all "so since when are you and the doc dating? You even know where he keeps his noodles". Why is he so oblivious, good lord.

HUHHH?!!!!!!!!!

SHU YI, FOR FUCKS SAKE, PLEASE, REACT ACCORDINGLY

THANK YOU, I WAS ABOUT TO CROSS THE SCREEN AND SMACK YOU

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO WAY?! YES WAY!!!

SHI DE, IF YOU BACK DOWN NOW I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING I WILL FIND YOUR ADRESS AND FILL YOUR HOME WITH SO MUCH DUST YOU'LL BE SNEEZING EVERYTIME YOU TRY TO SPEAK NONSENSE

He's denying it, I'm giving up, I can't

Okay, this is disgustinly domestic, I'll give them another chance.

Even I'M hungry now. Damn.

That's the last soup, Shu Yi realizes.

"Let's share it" You're not helping poor Shi De's pining heart.

Shi De says that that it's not necessary. But Shu Yi insists, because "that's what friends do".

Take it or take it, Gao Shi De.

It's a rivalry, but doesn't mean it can't be friendship, Shi De. Get it through your head. He does like you in his own tsundere way.

Shu Yi says as much, and still reassures him that their rivalry it's gonna be a constant between them, so he expects Shi De to go as hard, and Shi De, of course, agrees.

This ending was cute af, ngl.

"Maybe... it's better this way." You say that now, I want you to repeat it three episodes later.

Even the skeleton is suddendly moving away.

"They're too domestic. I'll get diabetes."

Another good episode. I will say, I enjoyed more than the previous two, and I like the other two. It's just that this felt more like personal progress for both of them and like they're reaching that place, if you know what I mean.

They have a chance at happiness, I know it. I still feel that they'll get through some more angst first.

Thanks for reading this, I hope you enjoy the next reaction.

(And if you noticed some small typos, no you didn't.)

[imgoingtofreakoutnow]

Those who are left behind

Summary: Steve finds a connection while helping as a volunteer at Hawkins High

Pairing: Steve Harrington x gn!reader (can be seen as platonic or pre-romantic)

Warnings: mentions of death and mourning

Words: 1k

A/N: Hey, I hope you like this! I had fun writing it so yeah... sorry if it's a bit sad tho :D

Tags: @hellotvshowtrash @yn-ymn-yln @auroracalisto

Steve had been folding clothes for what it felt like forever. The moment he finished one pile, another appeared in a neverending cycle. He was more than surprised by how many clothes people could spare the moment disaster happened.

At some point, as he folded an oversized shirt or some worn jeans, his mind wandered off, haunting him with visions of everything that had happened in the last few days.

He wished he could help more, that he could do something more than folding clothes and occasionaly sewing holes in socks. He wanted to go back in time to stop all that destruction and pain, fix everything that went wrong...

And save those who got hurt, he thought, closing his fists around the fabric of a shirt.

"Hey, you alright?"

A voice coming from the side made Steve turn around toward Y/N. They started helping in the "clothes and toys" section the previous day, around the same time he did, but Steve knew them long before that day.

Steve used to sit behind them in biology class and, when he wasn't talking behind the teacher's back, he looked in a weird, bored awe at how neatly and closely they took notes. However, they had never spoken to each other before this.

"Not really, no" Steve scoffed, quickly folding the shirt as he tried to iron the creases that had appeared on it.

Y/N nodded, going back to sorting the different clothes by size and age. Then, eyeing carefully Steve, they asked softly: "Have you lost someone in the earthquake?"

"It wasn't-" Steve stopped as those words left his mouth. Of course they didn't know what really happened. They didn't know Hawkins – if not the entire world – was about to change.

No one did.

Except him and a bunch of highschool kids.

"Yes. Yes, I... I did." He nodded slowly, his eyes stuck on the printed logo of the shirt he had just put to the side. "We did."

"We?"

"My friends and I. We... we lost a friend," he murmured. "A good friend."

"I'm sorry for your loss." They paused for a good minute. "I know how hard it is to lose someone."

Steve glanced at Y/N. "Did you lose someone as well?"

"Not yesterday, no." They shook their head, fidgeting with a ring on their middle finger. "I lost my grandma, five years ago. And I know it's not the same: your wound is still new, mine had a while more to heal; but sometimes my heart aches because I can't run to her and tell her what good or bad happened to me during the day."

For a moment they stopped moving, clenching their hands to their chest, breathing slowly in and out.

"Sometimes I just wish I could hug her one last time, tell her how much I love her and just... you know... exist there with her, for a little while longer."

Y/N raised their eyes from their hands and found Steve staring at them, eyes wide and speechless. They quickly lowered them, passing a hand through their hair.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel worse with my words..."

"It's okay." Steve cut them off with a joyless smile. "I understand all too well what you're saying."

Silence fell again and the two went back to their jobs, a synchronised and perfectly working machine made up by two broken souls.

Then Y/N spoke again.

"You don't have to answer me but... how did they die?"

Steve considered ignoring the question. He hadn't really talked about it with anyone else outside the group and he wasn't sure what to say or how to say it.

But the need to tell someone else, someone who could understand, was stronger than his doubts.

"He died saving us, that fucking idiot..." He scoffed, shaking his head. "As if him dying a hero would make his loss any easier..."

He took a deep breath and he felt his throat burn with the sensation that anticipates tears.

"Does it ever get better? The weight... does it ever ease?"

He knew how he sounded: desperate, like a beggar or a dying man begging for Death to either take him or let him be.

He expected pity but there was none in Y/N's eyes. Just recognition. They understood.

"It needs time. A lot of time. And just as much patience. But it does. It gets to a point where the pain of losing them and the joy for having known them mix, and thinking about them doesn't feel so..."

"Heavy?"

Y/N nodded. "There will still be bad times though, and their absence will feel like drowning in a cup of water... and no matter how much time passes, it still hits like a fucking truck."

"Wow," Steve scoffed again, this time with more light in his eyes. "Is this supposed to make me feel hopeful or scared for my life?"

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry..." Y/N covered their face with a teddy bear they were putting away. "I didn't mean to sound so pessimistic..."

"You didn't." Steve laughed softly. It had been a while and that sound felt weird on his lips, however it fit just as it used to. "You were just realistic. And I was trying to be funny and deflect my grief." He shook his shoulders. "Didn't work that well..."

Y/N nodded, a small smile on their lips. "At least you folded that shirt like a pro."

Another scoff as Steve passed them the shirt. "Thanks? After all, this could be my vocation."

Y/N raised their eyebrow. "What?"

"Being a housewife."

They unexpectedly broke out into laughter, leaving Steve slightly taken aback. That sound was strangely soothing and warm to his ears.

"Yeah" Y/N nodded, "I can totally see you wearing an apron!"

It was Steve's turn to laugh now and when they got back to their respective jobs, he knew something had switched. In him and between them, and despite the pain still there, he couldn't help but smile at the new-found connection.

[venusiangguk]

STELLA STELLA STELLAURRR

did u miss my reviews :3

to start i CANT BELIEVE U DROPPED THIS OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE I CANT EXPLAIN HOW LOUD I GASPED, had my coworkers confused. alr i made a list of what to touch on so let’s starttt !!

NARI’S SPEECH DEVELOPMENT. i cried. i fucking missed that pudgy baby more than oc & jk ngl !! she is so so precious i love her i will forever protect her… her asking abt oc. what The fuck is wrong with you. my baby misses her friend 😔

jk not going to buy groceries is so real like i Have Done this. avoiding is my coping !!

friends being true friends. the way they all check up on him in different ways is so 🫶 heart fluttering feelings are so fragile rn ..

WHEN HE CLOSED HIS EYES TO HEAR HIS BABY GIRL GIGGLING…. people cried. we cried stellaur !!

before i get into taekook heart to heart… the image of dilf taekook sitting drinking wine is so sexy let me get spit roasted rn i beg ..

taehyung calling dasom a manipulator is so hot cause YES !! she does it for a living let’s not be reminded that dasom is such a bad bitch but also a Bitch yk? he knows her better than us i fear.. she’s just protecting her baby tis all :(

“was having a baby to save your marriage apart of your plan?” people GASPED. KIM TAEHYUNG ?? no but u made him intellectual and intricate in this convo i loved it. he really told it to jk straight and let him recognize his faults instead of having a pity party & it was so so needed.

OC’S INSTA. give me a minute. the spa day. kill me. burn me. what the. no i’m teary eyed ?!? that woman LOVED nari and vice versa i need them back.

ok let me finish on the taekook heart to heart. i loved and enjoyed v much. hearing jk’s intricate thoughts was so nice and although made me very sad a few times, i appreciated it more than anything. tae we love u. jk we love u. stella we love u.

OKAY JK HOt horny JERKY SUB MOMENT—

i Ache when you say his cock is hot and Heavy cause it IS !! Yes. hot and very heavy and leaking precum fUck.

sub jk. sub jk. we are summoning you… we yearn for u more than u yearn for oc… too far? we are all just horny mfs yearning for sub jk :(

he came !! a lot. and i digested. let me stop too much.

—

well stella. blown away as always. i missed your writing MORE than you could ever comprehend. please know you are truly one of the most talented writers on here i’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. the way you explain things and the way you Write is so captivating and beautiful and and. i love this and i love YOU. never stop. thank you for this. ur amazing <33

love yaz !! 🫶

yazzzz <3 yes i have missed ur reviews they are always so in depth n ur always so kind to me, i am so thankful for u i love u dearly <33

yes miss nari is slowly but surely expanding her vocab!! she still does Not like talking tho >:( n her finally being able to say oc's name AFTER she's gone?? a specific kind of pain 😭 she does miss her v much </3 (they both miss each other :( )

bts best friends in all the multiverses and all the aus 😤

im glad you took tae talking about dasom like that in a Not bad way!! i was worried about dasom coming off as a villain, when she is not, and him coming off as a hater, when he's not and is just jk's bestie <3

tae absolutley obliterating jungkook with his words like SIR?? can he take a breath??? but yes it was very needed, and it the end it was very helpful. thank god tae is a twin boy dad n has acquired superhuman patience <3

the insta </3 i loved incorportaing that!! im glad it's been well received so far~~

we all love u dilf jk pls get ur shit together <33

aur was very nervous about debuting dilf jks subby interest bc he has been very Soft Dom n thats it the whole time... but u do have a point... we all love a sub jk moment 🥴

and once again yaz <3 i cannot tell you how much ur reviews like this mean to me, i read them over n over they make me feel v happy n loved <3 hope u know i luv u <33 thank u <33

[thestarrynightslover]

You and Me

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,649

Warnings: Angsttt, slight swearing, mentions of harassment and violence (all show-like, tho).

Summary: Jay and (y/n) were trying to navigate their secret workplace romance when an unexpected event agitates their feelings about it.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: No, I am not very sure of what exactly this is, sorry! I think it turned out kinda messy but, being honest, I just really wanted to write their interactions within that kind of angst! 

Anyways, I hope this isn’t too bad and I am very sorry about dropping this kind of imagine instead of something good enough to help us heal from the finales.  

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

It had been about 20 minutes since you finally convinced Kevin that you were okay and that he should go home when you heard someone knock on the door. You knew it was him. It had to be him. You needed it to be him. So you quickly moved to open, after checking the peephole. As soon as there was a hint of an opening, you felt Jay’s arms around you, his breath on your neck, and his voice cracking with concern.

"Oh my God, baby, I was so worried about you!" He sounded absolutely desperate, his arms enveloping you in just the way your own despair required him to.

"I know, I know... I just... I-" You tried to let out but couldn't continue because you'd started sobbing. Around Jay, it was inevitable for you to put your walls down. And, almost as soon as your tears started to fall, your boyfriend brought you even closer; holding you tightly by the waist with one arm, the other stroking your hair.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay, princess. You're okay now." He told you, but the truth was he wanted to cry as well. Not only had those past days been pure agony for him — a lonely agony —, but, also, because, even with you like that, you both knew that Jay wouldn't be able to keep a promise to stay the night if he got a call from work. Because no one knew that he needed to stay by your side. That you needed him there. Because no one knew how much all of that was hurting him, too. Because no one knew anything.

"I'm just- I just came so- so close this time, you know?" You tried to let him in on how you were feeling, pulling away a little so you could see his face better.

"I know." He replied, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "And it all happened so suddenly, I felt so stupid, powerless..." Jay confessed, as he remembered the operation that’d gotten you abducted, leaving the entire team with no clue on how it happened. 

But, for your boyfriend, it was pretty clear, though: the two of you were covering one side of the building and, afraid you might get upset with him for hovering, he didn’t have your back the way he should have. It was his fault that it all happened to you.

"Jay... That wasn't your fault, okay?” You stated firmly, as if you knew exactly what he was thinking. “None of us could've guessed that it would turn into something that, um, bad..." You said, not being able to stop the shiver that ran through your body, which made Jay go back to holding you close.

"Still, I should have done a better job at protecting you-" He started to mutter quietly in your hair, but you stopped him with a disapproving look.

"Stop, okay? Just stop! I'm a cop too, I have been a cop for about the same time that you have and I never needed or had a boyfriend protecting me in some special manner on the job!" He just stared at you, shock and hurt in his eyes.

"I know that, okay? I do know that." He told you quickly, as his hands went up from your sides, in a sign of surrender. "And I'm sorry if it came across as if I thought any differently. I'm sorry, baby. It's just that-" He paused for a moment, looking so hurt while sighing deeply, "It was really hard to not know what was going on with you, even after you went to the hospital... I mean they called Kevin to go stay with you in the hospital!" Another sigh, this time, an annoyed one. "And, seeing that, I guess that I just- I just wished that none of it had happened?"

"Jay..."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be saying this right now. I'm making this about me, when it's actually about you, geez." He reprehended himself while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, no! It's okay. Because this is about you, too. And I'm glad you're telling me how you feel." Hearing that, he just looked at you and wondered about how on Earth he had managed to snatch someone like you. "First things first: what happened to me wasn't your fault. I don’t say this often but: as great a partner as Kevin is, I love working by your side. And, I do it without any fear or concern because I know you'll have my back. One hundred percent." You assured him while giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "now, the second thing: you do know that they only called Kevin because he is my partner, right?"

"I, uh, I do know that," yet another sigh.

"Okay, Jay. I love you and I really need you right now. But, if you don't stop sighing and just say what you wanna say already, I will kick you out of here." At that, he couldn't help but to let out a soft chuckle. God, you loved his smile.

"I don't wanna upset you with this. Especially now. But, I guess, I just would have liked to be the one they called." Seeing the instant frown you made, he clarified: "Not as your partner. As your boyfriend."

You had to admit that, even though you knew going public with your relationship was something Jay thought a lot about, you weren't expecting him to say that at all. Not at that moment, at least. And, being the not-so-calm person you were, the conversation quickly took a turn.

"What the hell? I just got back from the worst moment of my life and you wanna use that- pry on that to pressure me into going public?" God, that was harsh. You knew as soon as the words left your mouth. You regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth. But you didn't dare to open it again, as you watched his face go from hurt to annoyance and then a hint of anger.

"You're kidding, right?" You didn't answer. "Please, tell me you're kidding?"

"Babe, I'm-"

"You're what? You're sorry? Because, man, that shit you just said? That hurt!" He stood there in silence for a moment before continuing: "do you have any idea of what these past days were like for me? You think I'm bringing this up now just because I wanna shout to everyone that you're my girlfriend? Claim you as mine or whatever bullshit reason you think I have for wanting to go public?” You still couldn’t say anything, so he went on, “well, it's not any of that. I'm talking about this because you were missing for two entire fucking days that felt like forever to me, but I couldn't tell anyone how I'd die if anything happened to you because, hey! I was respecting your wishes! I felt guilty about the operation and thought that the least I could do was keep my pain all to myself. Which is kinda funny because you're always telling me not to bottle up my emotions!" By then you were crying, just because you were too mad at yourself for making him feel like that, and he paused but only to take a breath: "But, you know that all of that wasn't even what hurt the most? The worst part was when I got a text from Burgess on the chat group saying that they'd found you and had taken you to Med, but that we could continue doing our surveillance on one of the offenders because Kev was already on the way there!" He shouted this time, which made you wince a little — even though he looked more hurt than angry, really. Running his hands through his hair, Jay completed: "and, now, that I'm finally able to be with you- to- to know for myself that you're okay! You suggest that I was-" He couldn't even finish the sentence, which showed even more just how distraught he truly was. "I guess I just- I just can't believe that you don't see that all I wanna do is be here. With you. Taking care of you. Which is all I wish I could’ve done at the hospital, too…"

"I know, Jay." You whispered with a weak voice. Unsure that he'd heard you, you tried it a bit louder: "I know, Jay. And, trust me, I am so sorry for what I said! I don't- I just… I just wish it didn't have to be this complicated…" You knew what that sounded like. And, God, you were terrified about it. How could not you find anything good enough to say?

"Maybe I shouldn't be saying this… Maybe I shouldn't be trying anymore…” Because it sure looks like you gave it up, he wanted to add, "but I- I need to at least ask. Why does it have to be so complicated?"

"Jay, babe-"

"No! Don't do that! Don't try and stall me with that soft tone! I just wanna know why!"

"You know why, Jay!"

"I don't! I really don't! Or have you forgotten that all you did so far was give me half-ass excuses about privacy and being shy?"

"Okay! You wanna know why?" You half-asked, half-barked at him, "it's because I am scared of what will happen! That's why! Throughout all of my career, I've had to prove myself, then I got this sort of arranged job at Intelligence which not only threw all of my hard work to hell but, also, never lets me rest because it never really feels like I'm a part of that so-called family you guys have! And Voight? Every single day I still feel like he's testing me! Giving me the silliest assignments and being overly mad whenever I get the lead on a case! But, somehow — as messed up as it may sound —, I don't wanna lose that job! I don't wanna risk going back to the unit I came from, where I was constantly harassed and intimidated!" You blurted it all out, only stopping to take a breath while Jay simply stood there looking completely shocked. "And you, Jay, as great as you are — and you're literally the best thing that's ever happened to me —, you can very easily put all of that at risk." Now it was your turn to sigh. You could only hope that you sounded as defeated as you felt: having to give up the guy who was probably the love of your life just to not go from one toxic work environment back to an even more toxic one. Your mouth tasted sour after that realization, which just made you remember how sweet Jay's always was.

"You never told me any of that." He muttered quietly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just… Thought it would get better. Eventually."

"You know I could have helped, right?" He stated sadly, then adding with a shred of hope: "You know… Maybe I still can?"

"Jay… Let's just not make this harder. Please."

"Just hear me out for a second: you are a part of our family." At that you just scoffed and looked the other way, making him pull your chin to connect your eyes again. "You are. I said I was going crazy with you missing but they all were too, including Voight."

"Yeah, right."

"It's true! Why would I lie to you about this? He looked truly haunted and, if I'm being honest, I think he just hoped he wouldn't get too close to you, to keep his head on straight in case something like this ever happened." He gulped harshly before continuing, "in case something worse happened. I think he simply can't handle losing anyone else, (y/n/n)."

"Y- you really think that?" You asked him and, you'd be lying if you said that you didn't get just a little hopeful.

"I do, darling," he told you in a soft tone. "And I'm not making excuses for him here or anything, okay? I'm just tryna tell you that we can deal with Voight. We can deal with rumors. I swear I will fucking kill anyone who dares to even touch your name on that stupid department!"

"Jay!" You started to reprehend again, even though you knew that he was just trying to lighten the mood. "That is exactly the kind of stuff you can't even think about doing after we go public!" You told him while spatting his arm.

"Ouch! Wait a second, did you really just say after we go public?" The way his eyes twinkled at that moment was enough to get you to agree with anything he wanted, really.

"But, hey! Don't get all exci-" You couldn't finish your sentence as he had already swept you off your feet and started kissing you all over. It hurt a little, due to your bruises, but it's not like you actually gave a damn about it.

"Don't get excited? Lady, I'm already over the moon!" He told you with the biggest smile you’d ever seen.

“Oh, God. You look so damn cute right now!! I can’t believe that I-” You cut yourself off because your voice started to crack while a big amount of sorrowful tears rolled down your cheeks. Seeing you like that, once more, made Jay start panicking a little, scared that maybe you were backing down on your relationship again.

“Baby? What’s wrong? Talk to me, please, (y/n/n).” Hearing the confusion in his plead sort of brought you back to say:

“I- I just can’t believe that I said the things I said to you! I hurt you! I hurt you in the kind of way I was scared you were you gonna get hurt when it seemed like I was gonna-”

“Don’t you dare complete that sentence, okay?!?” He half-asked, half-begged you, letting on so much heartbreak, “first of all: nothing could have ever hurt me in the way you being gone did. No matter how hard you might have tried, you just wouldn’t be able to get there, girl.” He said more casually, shrugging his shoulders in a way that made you crack a small smile. “And, second: I don’t want you thinking about me, in any way, when you're out there in the field. You just can't, love."

"I know, but at that moment, I-"

"Look, princess, you need to promise me that you will try your best to never do that again, okay? Because if you do, if the people we chase see any weaknesses they'll take advantage of it. And, then... But I know it's hard. You're the first thing on my mind whenever something goes south too, but I just- I love you too much to face the idea of losing you! So you need to promise me that you will keep your head one hundred percent focused on whatever is at hand, please, babe!" He begged you with such urgency in his voice that new tears started rolling down your already marked face.

"Oh, Jay... I love you, too, okay? More than anything in the world! But you know that, when we're in that kinda moment, our minds sometimes just wonder..." Seeing his concerned expression, you decided to add: "However, if you promise me you'll try your best to focus on your work, in the same way, I'll promise it too." At that, he gave you a cheeky smile.

"Deal. Now let's get you in bed cause it's been a long couple of days, detective." He said, picking you up one more time and carrying you to your bedroom.

"Oh my God! Jay, put me down!!" You squealed out, though you didn't really want him to put you down, ever.

[lovethisletters]

Belly boops for the Demon brothers!

I felt like writing something chill and wholesome and this came up. Personally I'm a belly boop person, I've always enjoyed watching people's confused faces when I poke their stomach, but sometimes I'll do it out of habit (when I'm leaving a room or saying goodbye to a friend I belly boop them insted of a normal goodbye and won't realize that I did it until someone would point it out or just in very random moments like in the middle of a conversation I'll do it as well) so I decided to hc how the demon brothers react to an mc who does this.

Keys: MC = your main character's name.

Summary: The demon brothers discover a peculiar trait of MC: belly boops.

Additional notes: MC is gender neutral!

Here is part 2 with the side characters!

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️

Lucifer

The first time it happened was one morning when everyone was getting ready to go to RAD.

Lucifer always opens the door for everyone, and leaves last, so when you past by him you unconsciously decided to thank him for holding the door open in a very...unusual manner.

You booped his belly.

It was so random, that it was one of the very few moments in his life that the avatar of pride didn't know how to react.

—MC, What do you think you're doing?—his voice stopping you on your tracks.

You where confused at first on what he was referring to, but when you realized a wave of embarrassent hit you.

—Sorry! It came out of habit! I used to do that with my friends back in the human world!—you apologized quickly.

—refrain from doing that again, I'll only let it slide this time, understood?

—Yes! It won't happen again!

It did...

The second time it happened you immediately apologized only catching for a split second the death glare he gave you before running away.

Ultimately no matter how much he scolded you, you didn't stop.

I think he kinda...just accepted it once he realized you did that only with the people you're comfortable with. So he took it as a weird compliment.

So now he just stares blankly at you every time you do so, no longer even trying to correct your weird habit.

And to be honest...he secretly thinks is adorable, but he'll never tell.

Mammon

—Whadda ya' think you doin' ya' dumb human!?!?— the avatar of greed asked completely caught off guard.

He was telling you about one of his newest schemes to get some easy money; when all of a sudden, he felt a light and quick pressure on his belly.

It was your finger, but the weird thing was that you still looked like you where listening and waiting for him to continue the conversation like nothing had happened.

He's so confused.

When you realized what you had done, you explained to him it was something you did with your friends in the human world; is your weird unconscious way of showing a person you feel comfortable in their presence.

Blushy boi

—W-well...I guess that's ok, but don't ya' dare doin' this to anyone else, got it?

Your belly boops are reserved for the great Mammon!

Leviathan

Leviathan.exe has stopped working.

You where about to leave his room with a new game (he insisted you should try) on your hands.

—Thanks Levi! I'll let you know my thoughts once I finish it!—you said as he holds the door open for you.

Boop!

You went back to your room not being aware of the blushing mess of a demon you left behind.

"Why MC poked his belly?!?!" "It was probably a mistake, right?!" "No one would like to touch a yucky Otaku like him anyways!"

He won't confront you about it, thinking it was a mistake.

But then one time when you two were playing video games together and you just defeated the other team, he extended his hand in order to give you a celebration high-five.

But then you just...boop!

He blushes even more than the last time, and finally asks you why you did it.

When you explain to him is your own way to express endearment for the people close to you...oh boi.

He blushes so bad and his eyes get all glossy like he's about to cry, for a moment you might even think he's in pain or something.

He never thought of himself as someone you value or hold in such a dear place in your life, so he's just so happy to hear that!

Forget the high-fives! Belly boops are now a must every time you two are together!

Satan

The first time it happened was when you two where studying for a test in the library.

Satan is not a big fan of touch or touchy people; I feel like it makes him a bit anxious.

So when you first booped his belly...he felt kind of uncomfortable, but didn't say anything, thinking it was a mistake or a lame attempt on your part to provoke him.

He won't confront you the second, third or even fourth time it happens, only limiting himself to lightly scolding you with a quick glance.

But if you still don't get the hint, he would finally talk to you (not in an aggressive manner btw he's chill with you about it)

—MC, I don't know if you're doing this as a way to provoke me or make fun of me, but you should know how uncomfortable it makes me—He spoke holding you by your shoulders softly.

You explained to him it was something you did unconsciously, but that you weren't mocking him, Belly booping was something you only did with people you felt comfortable and trust enough to do so.

He gives you a kind smile after hearing you say that; He's truly happy to be someone you can rely on.

He might try to put up with it, belive me, he really does. But he just can't.

You let him know that it's ok for him to not like it, and that you're not mad or dissatisfied in any way, and that you'll be working on controlling this peculiar habit of yours.

He appreciates your words, and now every time that your habit slips, and you try to belly boop him; he'll catch your hand before you can do so and gently lower it, offering you a kind smile instead or...if he's feeling soft he'll hold your hand for a bit.

Asmodeus

He was finishing giving you a make-over when it happened.

—All done, hun! You look so beautiful!! Not as much as me tho...—he said handing you a mirror

—Thank you, Asmo!!! you're so talented!!

And out of nowhere...boop!

Silence.

Asmo, being the avatar of lust, has experienced all kind of touches.

But he has never (or at least not that he remembers) been booped in the belly.

He looks at you with curiosity, even tilting his head slightly, looking like a confused cat before his eyes spark with joy and he suddenly envelops you in a tight hug.

—Awww MC! You're just too cute! You make me want to gobble you up!—

Out of everyone, he's the one who loves belly boops the most, even more knowing the meaning behind them.

He just founds them so endearing, it melts his heart.

Whenever you boop him he'll pinch your cheeks and start baby-ing you.

Beelzebub

You first booped his belly at dinner, big mistake.

He was enjoying his meal when all of a sudden he feels your finger on his stomach.

And we all know Beel is a calm demon but when it's about food...you better don't try anything funny.

He hates being disturbed when he's eating.

He huffed in annoyance, directing you an angry glance you'd only had seen when the whole custard incident happened.

Tho he saw your apologetic expression and decided it wasn't something worth making a fuss about and continued eating.

He'll later feel bad about it tho, so when he came to apologize you decided to let him know it wasn't something you did on purpose and what it meant to you.

Beel was really happy, he even blushed a little and hugged you enthusiastically.

He enjoys belly boops...as long as you don't do it when he's eating.

Belphegor

It happened for the first time when he was falling asleep in class.

When you booped him he just thought it was your way of keeping him awake, so he didn't say anything at first.

That until he started to notice you would also do it in very random moments: You two would be out shopping or something and then...boop!

He's a bit startled at first, but much like Satan, he'll just look at you weirdly and then move on.

Or at least until curiosity gets the better of him and finally asks you about it.

When you finish telling him, a small smirk appeared on his lips.

He's the only one who kinda makes you regret you told him about the personal meaning belly boops hold to you because of how much he would tease you.

But he really likes them, because from now on. Every time the two of you take naps together; Belphie would belly boop you back before dozing off.

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️

If you find any grammatical errors let me know! I'm trying to improve my english and that would help me so so much!

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov  where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be as fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway, thank you for reading!

[assassins-and-hidden-blades]

Miracles -- Part 3

07/04/2021: Here it is!! The one, the only, the... 6.1k words of purely self indulgent protective!Jacob (lowkey been doing it for everyone and their mother except for when with the reader and idk why bc i dig that shit too)

I really hope you guys enjoy this, because I loved writing it!! There's a chance I could sneak in a last chapter if people wanted that? Feedback would be greatly appreciated!! This is super long, so sit down and get comfy :)

Pry these commas from my cold, dead hands tho. Also, I HC Jacob to be predominantly left-handed, but that's just me aha.

Warnings: Bit of violence, swearing, corporal punishment, arson (without giving too much away)

Tagging: @marshmallow--3 // @missingfrye // @ct-5445 // @iceboundstar // @rahdaleigh // @pink-polarfox // @b3k1720 // @itseivwhore // @sofiewithat // @missbenzayb

Assassin's Creed Mobile Masterlist

Red Dead Redemption 2 Mobile Masterlist

Part 1 HERE, Part 2 HERE

The night was cold.

You retreated further under the blankets, turning to rest your head on your beloved’s chest. You wore an oversized shirt, and he wore a loose pair of breeches. His arm pulled you closer, fingers stroking your bicep. In turn, you traced the Rook painted on his chest. “Jacob?”

He turned to gaze down at you, lips inches from your forehead. “Yes, my love?”

“My family have written to me; they would like me to visit them in Warwick.”

“Your family lives quite far,” Jacob remarked, smiling adoringly at you. “Will you and Lily be alright travelling by yourselves?”

You sighed. “That’s the problem.” Sitting up, you gently grasped Jacob’s hand, playing with his fingers. “They don’t know that Lily exists, and I have no chance of telling them that I have a child without the status of ‘wife’.”

“I see…” Jacob watched you trace the lines on his hand. “Is there anything I can do?”

Propose, you idiot.

“Could you look after Lily while I’m away?”

“On my own?” His fingers tightened around yours.

“I trust you with her, Jacob. You’re the only one I can trust her with.”

He sucked in a breath. “Are you sure?”

“Stop doubting yourself.” You kissed his temple. “Besides, she adores you; she’ll listen to you.”

“Alright then. It’s decided.”

“Thank you, my love. However can I make it up to you?”

Sensing the humour in your tone, Jacob winked. “I can think of a few things.”

You laughed to yourself as you blew out your candle, the darkness enveloping the room as you pulled yourself closer to Jacob, the security of his arms lulling you to sleep.

----------

Before you knew it, you were packing a carriage with your luggage, setting off for the journey ahead. Jacob was standing in the doorway of your house, Lily resting on his hip. “Mama, do you have to go?”

“Sweetheart, if I don’t, then horrible Aunt Susan will come marching all the way down here herself, and we don’t want that, do we?” Lily shook her head, giggling.

“She’s not the only one who’s going to miss you.” Jacob wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. Smiling, he dipped his head to lock his lips with yours.

“Yuck!”

The both of you pulled apart, chuckling.

“Well, I best be going. Don’t get into any trouble; I know what you both are like unsupervised.”

Sharing mischievous looks, they began to wave as you got into the carriage.

“Bye, Mama!”

“Safe travels, my love!”

You watched as they recede from view, the picture of your perfect family playing in your mind as hooves against cobblestone played in your ears.

As soon as the carriage turned the corner, Jacob turned to Lily. “What do you fancy doing?”

Lily giggled. “I have school!”

Jacob mockingly rolled his eyes. “That is the worst answer I’ve ever heard.”

“Are you saying I can skip?”

As much as he’d want to say yes, you would have punted him six ways from Sunday. “‘fraid not, love.” He took her inside. “But I can promise that afterwards, I’ll take you to get iced cream.” Lily cheered in victory before she hopped down, scurrying to collect her things for the day ahead.

----------

Jacob walked Lily to school that morning, keeping her on his left and away from the curb. He grasped her hand firmly, lest she get lost in the rushing crowd. When he approached the building, he saw various parents saying goodbye to their children, as well as some children arriving on their own.

He knelt down to her height, tidying her windswept appearance with a reassuring grin. “You have a good day, alright?”

Smiling widely, she nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Thank you, Papa.”

Wait, what?

Jacob’s breath caught in his throat. Lost for words, he kissed her head and returned the hug tenfold. “I love you, angel.”

“Love you too!”

The bell rang moments after, causing Lily to pull away. “Don’t be late!” Waving, she ran to catch up with her friends and disappeared into the building. Standing up, Jacob cleared his throat and tugged on his waistcoat to compose himself, though he could barely stifle his grin. The warmth in his heart engulfed his chest. He walked past the rest of the parents as if he were walking on clouds, his happiness fixed for the day.

----------

“What’s got you in such a good mood today?” Evie asked her brother, watching incredulously as she found him tidying his train carriage.

“Oh, nothing.” Although his tone was dismissive, his face told a completely different story.

“Did you… have a good night?”

“Oh, no.” Chuckling, he sifted through the papers on his desk. “Y/N’s headed to Warwick.”

Puzzled, Evie tilted her head. “Free beer?”

“Nope.” He popped the ‘P’.

“Come on, then; what is it? You can’t expect me to keep guessing forever.”

Restraining himself from jumping for joy, he turned to his sister. “Lily called me ‘Papa’.”

Evie’s face lit up. “Oh, Jacob, that’s lovely! Does this mean you’ll…” She mimicked opening a ring box.

Blushing, he nodded, a toothy grin plastered on his face. “I’m excited, Evie. I… I need to sit down.”

He leaned back on the sofa, tossing his hat beside him. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. “Are you alright?” Evie took a chair to sit opposite him.

“I… I’ve never felt this much joy in my life.”

“Jacob Frye, you’re practically speechless.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“You have to buy the rings before Y/N comes back.”

“I will. Maybe Lily will want to come with me. Not yet, though; I don’t want to spring the news on her immediately.”

Evie began to talk about the type of engagement ring you would find the most appealing, but Jacob had all but zoned out. He was fidgeting with the iron band on his right index finger, engraved on the inside with the Assassin’s Insignia. Barely thinking, he removed it and switched hands, sliding it on his ring finger.

He was going to get married. You were going to be his wife.

“What if she doesn’t say ‘yes’?” A sudden anxiety clutched his heart as he looked up in worry.

Evie was stunned into silence. “What are you talking about?! Of course she’s going to say yes!”

“She has a child to think about; what if she doesn’t want to get married at all?”

“Jacob,” she sighed. “She knows you’d do anything for Lily. You’ve done it right from the beginning.” He shifted in his seat as a phantom pain clutched his side, remembering his tussle with Thomas Lynch. “She would be insane not to want someone like you as a husband, and as a father to her child.”

“When did you learn to talk like that?” Jacob smirked.

“When you’re the eldest, you learn a thing or two.”

“Bullshit.” He scoffed, but wordlessly thanked her for the reassurance.

“Knock knock.” Eyes fixed on the doorway as Henry peered around the corner. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I need some papers from Jacob.”

“Right; which ones?” He stood up and closed the two meter gap to the pile of half sorted paperwork.

“The ones on James Brudenell.”

“Who?” He frowned.

“Lord Cardigan.”

“Oh, that prick…” He thumbed through the various files, quickly getting to the end with no sign of the desired intel. “I must’ve left it at the house. I’ll head off there now and bring them to you tomorrow.”

“Can you not come back straight away?”

“I need to get to the school; there won’t be enough time. I’m taking Lily out for that new iced cream.” Evie quirked her lips into a knowing smile. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” she shrugged.

Shaking his head, Jacob grabbed his hat and opened the door, watching the train slow into the station. “See you tomorrow.”

“Don’t forget the--”

“The papers, yes, I’ll get them!” By then, he had already jumped onto the platform, disappearing into the crowd.

----------

On the stroll back to the house, Jacob checked his pocket watch, planning his time accordingly. He’ll find the papers, finish the paperwork that should’ve been completed two weeks ago, and head to the school.

The street seemed unusually quiet at this time in the afternoon, but Jacob only grew concerned when he noticed a lack of Rooks. Usually, there would be more and more scattered around the closer he grew to the house, but so far he could count them all on one hand. A scuffling from behind him pricked at his ears. He spun, brows furrowed, but the road was empty, save for a carriage calmly trotting past. He used it as a reassurance that he was probably acting paranoid, and continued where he was heading, albeit at a faster pace.

The secure feeling he felt upon approaching the house eased the weight on his chest. Pulling out his key, he wasted no time in disappearing inside. It was quiet without you, and there was the familiar longing he felt in his heart. Sighing, he mentally crossed off another minute until he could hold you in his arms again.

He moved upstairs and into his study. At the prospect of spending more time with him, you jumped at the chance to make a spare empty room a working office. He hung his jacket and hat on a coat rack, taking a seat at the desk. The natural light coming through the window landed perfectly on the wood, illuminating the workspace without the need for candles. Jacob searched his drawers, finding the file with relative ease. He grabbed a dip pen, opened an ink pot, and quickly began scrawling details down.

He was lost in thought at the memory of his encounter with Lord Cardigan when a crude knocking hit the door downstairs. Jacob froze, focusing on the noise outside. All business was kept around the train; he sternly told Evie and Henry not to give out the address to anyone. The only other people who would have had an idea where he was were the Rooks stationed around the street, but they were loyal -- were they not as trustworthy as he thought? Who was at the door?

Harsher thuds against the door made his heart leap. He moved slowly; inch by inch, he stood and crept towards the door, pulling out the cane from his coat as quietly as he could. His boots barely made a sound as he headed down the stairs, hand calmly turning the knob to open the door.

On the other side stood two gentlemen, waiting almost expectantly. “Can I help you?” Jacob asked, tone laced with suspicion.

The two exchanged looks before one started to speak. “Pardon me, sir, but would you be interested in purchasing some humbugs? We’re opening a new shop not too far from here. We thought we could go from door to door to begin our business endeavours.”

Eyes flitting between the two, unease began to set in. “No, thank you.”

“Understood. Have a nice day.” The other tipped his hat and turned to leave as Jacob slowly shut the door again.

“What…?” He’s had bankers act more persuasive than these men. They did not seem that interested in sales. His eyes scanned the room, as if that would give him answers to a most peculiar interaction. In a second, his heart jumped as they landed on the clock. If he didn’t leave now, he’d be late to pick up Lily. He grabbed his coat and hat from upstairs and burst out of the door, rushing in the direction of the school.

----------

He made the journey by the skin of his teeth, jogging almost the entire way. As soon as he approached, the bell rang, and children began to flood out of the doors. He stood by a tree and scanned the children as they continued to rush out. A few moments later, Lily emerged, nervously clutching her hands together as she scanned the adults around her. Jacob frowned and walked towards her, concern growing. He could see the upset growing as she at first couldn’t see him. “Lily!”

As soon as she heard her name, her gaze immediately landed on the source and took off running towards him. He knelt just in time for her to jump into his arms, face hiding in his neck. “Hey, are you--” He was cut off by the sound of sobs. “Okay, alright, it’s alright, angel.” Confused, he picked her up and went to sit on a bench overlooking the playground, shushing her gently.

Cradled in one arm, Jacob used his free arm to reach into his pocket, bringing out his flask. “Take a drink, sweetheart.” She gingerly took the container, taking a few gulps of the fresh water inside. “Now, tell me what happened.” He tried to speak softly, to not provoke more tears.

“I didn’t do it! They think I did, but I didn’t!”

“What didn’t you do?”

“Throw a rock.”

“Even if you did do that, it’s only a rock.”

“It hit the teacher!”

Jacob was silent for a minute. If they thought she pelted a rock at the teacher, there would have been harsh punishments…

“Please believe me; I promise I didn’t do it!”

Shocked, Jacob pulled her closer. “Of course I believe you! Why wouldn’t I?” His eyes landed on her fists, which have barely opened since he saw her, save for the flask. “Can I see your hands?”

She nodded, and Jacob shifted her against his shoulder so he could use both hands as he slowly uncurled her fingers. Her palms were a stark red, the clear markings of a cane riddled her skin almost completely; and they looked like the instrument hit hard. He quietly asked for the other one, inspecting them with the care one would give to a newborn, brows furrowing at the sight. Lily watched his eyes moving constantly across her hands. The thought of letting her father down ushered tears to the surface. Jacob’s eyes caught hers watering. “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, love. Do you know who really did it?”

Nodding slowly, she pointed to the playground to a boy who was laughing by a group of children who were playing with marbles. “Oliver.”

“Okay.” The two of them stayed there for a while as Lily continued to calm down.

Just as Lily began to smile at Jacob’s conversation, a shadow overcame the both of them. Jacob felt her recoiling into his side. He looked up to see a weathered looking man with a styled moustache and a stiff looking suit, a hand against the back of his head. “So, she’s yours.” The slight tone of disapproval channeled an urge of protectiveness inside him. He sat Lily behind him on the bench as he stood toe to toe with the teacher.

“Is there a problem?” Jacob’s eyes assessed the man from head to toe, noting the thin cane that he leaned on.

“You should be ashamed of your daughter’s behaviour.”

“Why? She did nothing wrong.”

“On the contrary…” Turning around, he removed the cloth on his head, revealing a jagged cut along the back of his head.

“It wasn’t me, sir! It really wasn’t!” Lily was begging for her teacher to believe her.

“Then who was it?”

Lily stood up on the bench still hiding behind Jacob’s shoulder but managing to equal his height. “Him.”

Her finger showed Oliver laughing at someone who had tripped over a skipping rope.

“Do you really think that she would do something like this?” Jacob raised an eyebrow.

Neither agreeing or disagreeing, he instead gestured with his cane. “I’m watching you, Y/L/N.” Jacob narrowed his eyes. “I would be mindful of your attitude towards my daughter.”

Grumbling, the teacher turned and walked away. “Oliver!”

“Th-Thank you.” A sniffling from behind him softed his face and melted his heart.

“Let’s go, angel. There’s some iced cream with our name on it.”` He hoisted Lily on his hip and headed in the direction of home, hoping that the anger would dissipate with each passing step.

----------

The house came into view shortly after Jacob left the sweet shop, two cardboard pots of the cold dessert in their hands. “This is delicious!” Lily was almost her normal self again over the journey home, relinquishing details of the day as they closed the short distance to the house. Placing Lily on the floor, he took out his key and pushed it into the lock, turning the knob. Without turning the key, the door opened. He must’ve forgotten to lock it when he left the house earlier. Brushing it off, he opened the door the rest of the way and stepped aside for Lily to enter first. He checked the rest of the street one more time for anything out of the ordinary before shutting and locking the door behind him, acting safe rather than sorry.

A slight smell filled his nose as he walked into the room. It was barely there, but he could smell something. Unfocusing his eyes, he watched as colours flooded his vision. Looking around, he couldn’t spot anything strange right away, but the smell was in the air and it set him on edge. Shaking his head, he rubbed his eyes. He had felt more emotion in one day than he had for a long time, and his body had worn him out. “Are you hungry, Lily?”

She sat at the kitchen table. “A little bit.”

“Anything you particularly fancy tonight?”

“Hmm… Sausages and potatoes!”

Jacob chuckled at her excitement. “Consider it done, my lady.”

----------

Dinner was over and done with by the time the sun set below the skyline. Jacob helped Lily get ready for bed before tucking her in. “When’s Mama coming home?” she asked, playing with Jacob’s hair.

“Hopefully in a few days; Warwick is surprisingly far, even by carriage.”

“Thank you. For believing me.”

Jacob smiled sombrely. “I will always believe you. That also reminds me…” He reached into the bedside drawer and pulled out a small pot of salve. “May I?” Lily offered her hands, and Jacob gently rubbed the ointment over her raw skin.

“It’s cold.”

“It’s supposed to get rid of the pain. How do they feel?”

She nodded. “Good.”

As he returned the salve to the table, he took a breath, steeling himself to give either the best news or the worst news.

“How would you feel… if I asked your mother--”

“To marry you?!” Her eyes widened, her smile reaching her ears. “Yes!”

She jumped out of the covers to hug Jacob tightly. He reciprocated, closing his eyes to savour the moment. “Please ask her,” she whispered.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Giggles filled the air as he pulled the covers over her again.

“Thank you, for letting me in.”

“You make Mama happy. That’s all I want.”

Jacob sighed, a small smile playing on his lips. “You’re wise beyond your years.” He leant down to kiss her forehead. “Goodnight, angel.” He stood up and blew out the candle.

“Goodnight, Papa.” Lily didn’t miss the way Jacob’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, shutting the door quietly.

He poked his head into his study, sighing when he saw his half-finished paperwork that needed to be handed to Greenie the next morning. Every fibre in his being resisted, but he knew his procrastination would catch up to him eventually. So he sat down, lit a candle, and tried to wrap everything up in as little time as possible.

About half an hour went by before Jacob finished the long overdue paperwork. Struggling to keep his eyes open, he went downstairs to the spare room he kept his bedclothes in. He fell backwards onto the bed. “Just five minutes…” he bartered with himself, resting his eyes.

----------

A scream made his blood run cold.

Bolting upright, Jacob immediately noticed plumes of smoke coming in from underneath the door, the burning smell inviting a cough from his lungs.

The house was on fire.

He lunged for the doorknob, the metal quickly searing his skin. His fingers clenched around the knob reflexively. “Ah, fuck!” He shook out his hand, watching as the flesh blistered in front of his eyes. Turning around, he dug around in the chest of drawers for extra clothes to wrap around the knob, turning and pulling swiftly before the heat travelled through the fabric. The door burst open. Jacob ducked as the flames whipped around the open space, newly fed by the released oxygen. Fresh smoke engulfed the room; Jacob inhaled a lungful as it blew towards him. He cleared his chest as he fanned the smoke away. Wrapping the clothes around his arm as a guard, he braced himself and ran upstairs, only one thing on his mind.

“Lily?!” The flames had almost completely engulfed the lower floor; he was surprised and relieved that he had managed to dodge any falling debris. “Lily!” He covered the metal with the clothes as he reached her door, slowly peeling the door away and slipping through as small a gap as he could, avoiding the mistake he made earlier. He closed the door behind him, the air luckily cleaner in her bedroom. “Lily, where are you?!”

He checked under the bed, and began to grow panicked when he couldn’t find her. He heard the scream, but nothing else. What if…

He swallowed, trying to ease the tight band in his chest.

Opening the wardrobe, he practically collapsed in relief when he saw Lily cowering in the corner. “Come to me, angel.” She dived into his arms, quivering in fear. “It’s alright, we’ll get out. I need you to be brave for me, okay?”

“Okay.” Her voice was shaking.

He looked around for a quick exit, eyes landing on a window. He led Lily over and unlatched it, pushing it with his uninjured hand, albeit with difficulty. Leaning out, the air cleansed his lungs. He hoisted Lily onto the windowsill to give her fresher air, holding her to make sure she doesn’t fall out. She clutched onto him tightly. He noted how it opened into an alleyway. He heard the bells of police and fire engines around the front of the house.

“HEY! OVER HERE!” A man peered around the corner. “HEY! HELP!”

“We can’t fit the ladder through here! You have to go around the front!”

Jacob blinked. “Have you gone mad?!”

“There’s a small window around the front, looks like the landing. You better make a move before it’s no longer an option!”

“Can’t you just climb down?” Lily mumbled, mind in shock.

Jacob inspected his blistering palm; it felt as if he was still holding the doorknob. Slowly, he put pressure on his hand against the windowsill. The pain immediately bubbled up his arm. Biting his lip, he tried to pull himself onto the windowsill. With his weight, it was maybe possible, since he could drop higher than normal and roll once he hit the floor. With Lily, that wasn’t an option.

“I can’t risk it.”

“Well?!” The man was still there, watching him.

“Be ready!” Jacob pulled Lily into him. “I need you to breathe into this, alright, angel?” She nodded slowly. He gave her one of the shirts wrapped around his arm. “Close your eyes.”

“Should I count to ten?”

“It shouldn’t take any longer, love.”

Taking a second to compose himself, he wrapped his hand up and opened the door, squeezing through as little as he could before shutting the door again. He made a beeline for the end of the hall, dodging the flames as they grew nearer, licking the edge of the wooden floor. Reaching the window was the easy part. The hard part was opening the damn thing. It felt heavier than it usually did, and he strained his free hand to push it to the top. Outside, firemen were already level with the window, waiting for the two of them to emerge.

“One of you at a time.” Without hesitating, Jacob leaned out of the window, one arm reaching Lily out of the window, while the other stopped him from falling out himself.

Just as the firemen approached, Jacob heard a crack above him. “Take her. Take her now!” The urgency in his voice paid off, as he jumped out of the way of a falling support beam, blocking his way out. He hit the floor, covering his face as embers flew around him

Lily crying out caused his heart to flip, but he managed to catch a glimpse of her safely in the arms of the firemen. “No! PAPA!” His anxiety eased slightly, but only just. He scrambled to his feet just as the beam crumbled completely, blocking the window from view.

“Shit!” Coughing, Jacob looked around for another exit. His mind thought back to Lily’s bedroom; he could probably climb down carefully one-handed if he was quick enough. His study also seemed to be the furthest from the rest of the flames.

However, he was on borrowed time.

Downstairs was fully demolished; there was no way out there. Upstairs was closing in on him fast, the heat beginning to singe the hair on his arms and sear his skin. He ran for his study, narrowly avoiding falling debris. As he slammed the door shut, he was relieved at the sight of the room being unscathed. For now. He looked over the papers; they were definitely worth taking.

He emptied his desk of the files and stuffed them in a satchel that hid under his desk. He worked tenderly with his burned hand, careful not to aggravate the wound more than he already had. He coughed some more as he slid the satchel over his head, tightening the strap so it would lay fast against his back. As the cold leather touched his skin, he hissed. The flames must have licked him on the way in. He turned to check how much time he had left.

The fire had crept inside the doorframe, taunting him in a turbulent tango.

Jacob hurried for the window, looking for the latch. His fingers felt around the edge, but he couldn’t feel anything. He tried pushing, with no luck. Does this window not even open?!

Frantic, his non-dominant and uninjured hand went for the first thing that he could always rely on.

Two wide shots rang out, cracking the glass in a spider-web mosaic. He moved to shatter the glazing, but the world began to spin. Knees wobbling, he fell against his desk, hitting the floor. Coughing hurt, breathing hurt, thinking hurt.

But he was so close.

He blinked away the world that spun around him, shakily getting to his feet. He threw the force of his whole arm into the window, the gun providing the force to break the shards completely. Clearing the way for his hands, Jacob holstered the gun and slowly began the climb onto the roof.

He wasn’t dying. Not today.

Wincing every other second, he pulled himself half-heartedly onto the tiles. Jacob took a second to try and stabilise his vision, securing extra fabric around his hand. He manWeuvered his way around the burning holes, hoping instead to find a way down that doesn’t involve jumping or falling.

Unfortunately for him, that choice was made for him.

A tile came loose under his foot. He slipped, the edge of the roof coming almost too soon for him to react. His fingers grasped the gutter, which did nothing but snap under his weight. Upon hitting the ground, Jacob managed to roll, but instead of ending on his feet, he slumped across the floor. Groaning, he lay still as he recollected himself. To anyone else, he looked dead.

A pained cry set his heart pumping again, yet he didn’t realise at first that the cry was because of him, not for him. Light footsteps rushed over to him. “Pa? Papa?” He felt fingertips dance across his cheek. “Please wake up!”

He reached for the source of the voice. “I’m okay. Are you alright?” He managed to open his eyes to check over Lily’s state. Her eyes were bloodshot, her skin was dirtied in soot, and one of her hands was bleeding. “Has anyone said they would help you with this?”

She shook her head, the worry not leaving her face. “I’m scared.”

“Don��t be; it’s over now.” He began the arduous process of standing up; from his stomach to his hands to his knees to his feet. Offering his hand to her, Jacob led the two of them out into the street. When everyone gathered in the street saw them, they cheered. Rooks quickly came to assist Jacob and pick up Lily, but he waved them away. He limped his way to the ambulance wagon waiting in front of them. Lily was hoisted onto the end while Jacob leaned heavily against the side. Lily faced him for reassurance.

“Mr Frye, sir!” He tilted his head as little as he could to get a view of who was calling his name. “Are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine; just a bit singed.” He tried to joke, but the pain in his face betrayed his laidback attitude. He grasped his ribs, as if it would ease the burn on the inside. “Where’s Evie?”

“As soon as we heard what happened, we sent for her. She should be here any minute now.”

“Lily goes with Evie. As soon as she shows up, take her to the train. She’ll be safe there.” Another hard cough shook his chest.

“With all due respect, are you sure you’re well?”

“I’m… I…” The floor was ripped from under him. Jacob’s knees buckled as his vision went black. After a few seconds, he came to. The Rooks had caught him on the way down. Disorientated, he blinked, trying to process what was going on around him.

He heard a familiar voice. “Where are they?” Rooks wrapped Jacob’s arms around their necks, pulling him to the edge of the wagon. He barely registered arms pulling him from behind to lie down. He noted how he was staring up at the stars.

“Evie!” A young, panicked yell drove Jacob to sit up, but hands pushed him back down against the wood.

“You don’t want to make things any worse, Mr Frye.”

His body jolted between consciousness and unconsciousness as Evie came into view. She also looked worried. “Jacob? I’ve got Lily; she’ll be safe. I’ll come to the hospital as soon as I can.” Lily was snuggled against Evie, a bandage wrapped around her hand.

“Let’s hope I don’t fall off.” It was weak and hoarse, but there was humour in his tone.

“You better not.”

“Take the bag.” He gestured to the leather satchel underneath him. Slowly, she undid the strap and pulled it out from under him, barely able to avoid causing a wince. She looked inside to find the papers in impressive condition. “It’s the paperwork Greenie asked for.”

Jacob’s smile was weak as the wagon began to drive away. The rocking of the cobblestones was rough, and although jarring, also brought comfort. He fell in company with the stars as his consciousness left him yet again.

----------

The next time he became lucid, he immediately noticed that he could breathe better; oxygen was easier to take in than before, and although not perfect, kept the lightheadedness away. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking to adjust to the light. The feeling of rough gauze was not unfamiliar to him, so he assessed the wounds on his back based on how rough it felt to lean on.

He brought his burned hand up to see that it had also been wrapped neatly. Although that was the majority of his wounds, his entire body ached. He leaned back into his pillow and closed his eyes, assessing the situation. Approaching footsteps made him roll his head to the side, and a doctor appeared with a clipboard. “How are you feeling, my boy?” He asked with a pencil in his mouth, flipping through the various pages.

“Like I’ve been run over by a carriage. Multiple times.”

“I’m not surprised; you inhaled half a factory.”

Jacob prepared himself for the question he knew he had to ask but would hate the answer to. “How long has it been?”

“Oh, a few days, give or take.”

“How many days are we giving or taking?”

Just then, a door opened on the far end of the ward, a few people rapidly approaching. As they turned the corner, Jacob’s heart sank a bit. You were hurrying towards him with the look of a mortified wife, but he dreaded what you thought would be more mortifying: your house burning down, putting your only daughter’s life in danger…

“Thank God!” You swerved around the bed and kissed him, one which conveyed a hundred different emotions, the most evident being relief. After the initial shock, Jacob’s fingers came to your jaw, lightly directing as he kissed you deeper.

He slowly pulled away, worried eyes scanning your face. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I haven’t the foggiest what happened--”

“You’re both safe; that’s all that matters.”

“But the house…”

“I’ve been prepared for disasters like this for a while. Everything I couldn’t stand to lose went in a fireproof box. There’s nothing gone that I can’t replace.”

“Papa!” Your eyes widened as you exchanged an impressed look with Jacob. Lily had crawled onto the bed and nestled her way into Jacob’s arms.

“Are you alright?” Without speaking, she nodded, deciding to play with his hand, fidgeting with his fingers and tracing the lines. Jacob looked to Evie, who followed her in.

Shepulled a concerned face, coming up to her and putting her hands over Lily’s ears. “She’s been crying herself to sleep, sometimes waking up in the middle of the night calling for one of you, sometimes both. She’ll heal, I’m sure, but for now I think time needs to pass. I investigated what could have happened that night; it wasn’t you.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they were Templars; pisses me off though.” He turned to you. “If you hadn’t visited your family…”

“Don’t ponder the ‘if’s, Jacob. It leads to all sorts of grief.” You threaded your hands through his hair.

Evie nodded. “All I know is what happened, not necessarily who did it.”

“Go on.”

“The house was rigged to burn down. Someone must’ve broken in, set down some oil or gas, and set it alight. It all happened very quickly -- it’s a miracle you got out when you did.”

At the explanation, Jacob ran a hand down his face. “The fun never stops.” He shifted to stand up.

“What are you doing?” You put your hand on his shoulder.

“I’m going to find whoever did this, and I have a feeling I know exactly where to start.”

“Not in this state you’re not.”

He stood up, much to your protests. “Honestly, Y/N, I’m…” His vision went black immediately, blood rushing to his head.

You quickly caught him. “‘Fine?” Sitting him down again, you brushed his hair out of his face. “Just take it easy.”

“I have errands to run.”

Evie whispered something to Lily, who gave the couple a mischievous grin. “We can do it!”

Jacob smiled, catching on. He leaned down to Lily’s ear. “Pick something Y/F/C,” he whispered. She nodded, grabbing Evie’s hand and running away.

The both of you laughed as Evie was dragged out of the ward. “What was that about?” You raised an eyebrow at the secrecy.

“It’s a surprise.”

Rolling your eyes, you joined him on the bed. “Don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

Jacob smiled to himself, the familiar excitement climbing. “I won’t.”

[duvetsandpillows]

Lucky One

Pete Davidson x Reader 

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Swearing, mention of needles, slight angst, drug use

A/N: This is my first Pete fic but I think I will definitely be writing more. Please let me know what you think!

I sat in bed, joint in one hand, lighter in the other. I’d been staring at the wall for the past half hour or so, drowning in my thoughts, forgetting the joint I’d been fiddling with was there to be smoked.

I was thinking about everything and nothing all at once. Have I taken my antidepressant? What do they do with the bagel holes? You’re gonna be alone forever. Don’t forget your earring is behind the back left leg of the desk. New thoughts beginning before the last one could end. I was exhausted yet I hadn’t done anything to warrant feeling so drained. I’d only left my bed to piss.

“Hey you home?” I glanced over at my door, reality setting back in, before realizing how messy my bed was; sketchbook and pencils scattered everywhere, weed crumbs and ash from not paying attention to what I was doing and empty monster cans. I kicked as much as I could off the end of the bed before putting the long forgotten joint to my lips and sparking it. The door slowly opened, Pete standing in the doorway holding a bag and a coffee.

“Whatcha doing in bed B?” he asked climbing into the bed handing me the coffee. I took a toke and thanked him while passing him the joint.

“I just don’t feel like moving. I feel like shit, my brain won’t stop for just a second. I just want everything to stop.” My voice breaking as I began to fight back tears. He blew smoke into the air, putting his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side, handing me the joint.

“Breathe B, you’re gonna be okay. I know that sounds like bullshit but I’m here to help you through it.” I took a take and wiped a stray tear from my eye. “It’s always been me and you hasn’t it, that’s not gonna stop now. Did you take your antidepressant today?”

“I can’t remember,” I squeaked, letting the tears win the battle. Pete put his other arm around my chest and squeezed tight, resting his hand on the back of my head and rubbing his thumb.

He would whisper little pick me-ups every few minutes while I cried. “At least you didn’t walk straight into a street light like I did.” I looked up to see him pointing to a small bruise on his forehead. “I saw a woman carrying a dog in a baby sling thing and then boom! Street Light.” I giggled before taking a deep breath and wiping my tears with my sleeves.

“I guess you could say she threw you off your rhythm.” He rolled his eyes and pushed my head playfully before chuckling.

We’d been friends practically our whole lives, yet it was rare for us to talk about deep shit. Not because we didn’t care but we were good at talking each others minds off all the bullshit. 

“Movie, smoke, munch? I brought gushers and twizzlers.”

“Only if I get to pick.”

“Obviously, you always pick.” I scoffed and sat up, rolling my eyes.

“Bullshit, we constantly watching The Mule.”

“Not my fault you can’t appreciate a masterpiece,” he said as he grabbed my rolling tray from the end of the bed and I began flicking through Netflix for something to watch.

“Your hair looks nice by the way,” he mumbled, eyes focused on rolling the joint. I glanced over at my reflection in the mirror, I looked as if I’d just climbed out of the hedge. I smiled and thanked him, deciding to put on Knocked Up.

Pete told me what he’d been up to all week and who the guests were gonna be while we watched the film. I made him a twizzler ring and he attempted to make me a bracelet but he couldn’t work out how to get the knot to stay tight.” After a couple more joints I sat up on my knees and faced him.

“Could... I maybe colour in your tattoos?” I asked, placing my hand on his leg to stay balanced, realizing how high I was after not moving for so long.

“Yeah of course, which one first?” I smiled and pointed to the unicorn on his arm and leant off the end of the bed to grab my pens, Pete grabbing hold of my foot as I almost fell off. After I’d finished the unicorn I moved onto the direwolf underneath. Pete was flicking through the pages of my sketchbook as I added icy blue to the eyes.

“Y’know,” he started, passing me a joint, “I reckon you could be a tattoo artist. You could even practice on me.” I stopped and looked at him a bit taken back.

“I’ve never thought about it before.”

“Maybe you should.”

Once I finished the direwolf I looked up to see Pete had dozed off, I smiled and pulled a blanket over him, moving the sketchbook off his lap. I rolled a joint and glanced at the open drawing of a group of clouds I’d been working on but hadn’t yet worked out what should accompany them.

I thought about what Pete said and picked up the sketchbook and a pencil. I smoked while drawing Frank the bunny’s head from Donnie Darko. It was my favourite film and Pete had watched it with me countless times.

After an hour or so I finished the outline and most of the infill with different shades of blue. I felt Pete roll over and put his arm across my lap. I looked down to see him, eyes half open, observing my drawing.

“That’s amazing.” His voice gruff and low.

“Thank you,” I said passing him a monster from my bedside table. He sat up partially and took a sip before handing it back to me. “Good nap?” He nodded and laid back down into my side.

“You should put that on me,” He kicked his leg out from under the blanket and pointed to the side of his thigh. “Here would be perfect.”

“If you’d like.” He sat up again and gently tore the sketch out of the book.

“Come on then.” I frowned and tilted my head slightly. “There’s a guy that could do this now, you could get one too?”

I stared at him in a bit of shock, not expecting him to actually want one of my pieces on his body. I thought he was saying it just to be nice. Also as I’d never considered getting a tattoo before. Not because I didn’t like them but more because I was nervous; I wasn’t great with needles and if tattoo’s would suit me.

“You up for it?”

“What if I look awful with one?” I blurted, Pete’s smile morphed into confusion.

“Why would you look awful?” You always look great.” I could feel my cheeks getting warm and I couldn’t help but ever so slightly smile. “Plus I think you’d look hot with one,” he mumbled handing me the sketchbook, open to a small drawing of a sheep I’d done high while watching Shaun the Sheep.

“It’s small, if you want it to be hidden then it’s easy.” I looked down at the doodle and thought about it for a moment.

“Fuck it lets go.”

I sat on a chair next to Pete watching as the tattoo artist, Jon, carefully traced over the light purple outline in dark blue ink. I began adding to my sheep. A few clouds in the background, similar to the ones on Pete’s.

“What you doing?” I handed him the paper, glancing over at his leg, in awe at how it was turning out. I looked back at Pete who was smiling at the drawing. I held out the pencil to him, when he didn’t notice I poked his arm with it.

“Ow, dick,” he said pouting and rubbing his arm. “What am I meant to do with this?”

“Add something to it, you got a piece of me,” I pointed to his leg. “Your turn.”

“I can’t draw like you and-”

“And I don’t care. Draw.”

While Pete drew, not phased at all by the needle going in and out of his leg, I chatted with Jon, asking him question about how he became a tattoo artist and what it’s like. I was slowly becoming more interested the more I watched him work. Once he was done he turned to me.

“You ready?” he asked, I nodded nervously and Pete passed him the design. Pete swapped places with me after taking a look at it in the floor length mirror. I decided to get it on my arm as I decided I wanted to always be able to see it now Pete had added to it. I told them I didn’t want to see it until it was finished, wanting Pete’s addition to be a surprise. I looked over at Pete, nerves starting to kick in a little.

“Have I ever told you I’m not brilliant with needles?” He chuckled and took my hand in his.

“Yep,” I winced as the needle hit my skin. “Like the time you gave blood because you thought that nurse was cute and threw up all over him before fainting.” I chuckled before biting the inside of my cheek and gripped his hand tight. “You’re good, just keep your eyes this way,”

Pete kept chatting with me and rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand, keeping me distracted from the pain.

“Should I be nervous with what you drew? It’s just clicked how much trust I’ve given you.” He pursed his lips, holding back either as smile or a laugh. “Pete...”

“Nah nah nah, it’s not that bad, but you said to add a bit of me. Trust me you’ll love it.” I raised my eyebrows before gripping his hand again, feeling a muscle in my arm unintentionally spasm.

“You’re good, it happens sometimes, we’re almost done here.”

After ten more minutes it was all done and he was wiping it up. It was aching it a little but I was really excited to see it.

“You ready to see it?” I nodded and looked at my arm to see the best tattoo I could imagine. The clouds were a beautiful combination of greys and whites, my sheep now with a spliff in its mouth and a second, slightly wonky looking, sheep with a spliff also in its mouth and sunglasses on. It kind of looked like a child drew the second sheep but I loved it even more for that.

“I put our initials at the bottom so we don’t forget who is who.” I giggled looking at his scruffy handwriting underneath. “So... what do you think?”

“I fucking love it!” I said wrapping my arms around him hugging him as tight as I could. “Thank you Pete.” I pressed a kiss to his cheek and let Jon wrap my arm up in cling film.

We grabbed some Taco Bell on the way home, I was designated DJ and he driver. I was, questionably, rapping along to Colson and Corpse’s new song while Pete laughed at me. He slipped his hand into mine, giving it a small squeeze and continued driving and started rapping along as if that was a normal for us to hold hands. I smiled and gave his a squeeze back even though I was a bit shocked. Shocked but yet it felt normal.

“You can roll the next one, my arm aches,” I said flopping onto my bed.

“Is that gonna be your excuse for the next week?” 

“Did it work?” I looked up to see him shaking his head and chuckling as he picked up the rolling tray.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” I smiled and winked as it sat up. 

“You’re lucky too, you get to look at this cute face all the time.” Pete leant forward and took my hand, pulling me into his lap.

“What would you say, if I asked you out... to dinner or something?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and furrowed my eyebrows.

“What like a date?” His smile and confidence drained from his face immediately and I had to force myself to hold back a laugh.

“It doesn’t have to be no, I just- aw fuck.” I started pissing myself laughing, holding onto him tight to keep my balance.

“Yes I’d love to go on a date, if you hurry up and roll that joint, I teased winking at him, swinging myself off his lap. “I’ll even put on The Mule yeah?”

“I’m definitely the lucky one.”

[blueprint-han]

ex.

↪ so many what if’s. who would give you those answers?

— where in you stumble into your ex at a friend’s wedding, and the subsequent conversation leads to new hope blooming in your relationship.

pairing: chan x reader

genre: ex au; angst with a fluffy ending.

⇥ warnings: themes/mentions of break up/make up, mentions of alcohol, please let me know if I miss a warning. please note that i, by no means condone any toxic relationships. this fic here with bang chan and Y/N is NOT an example of a toxic relationship or an implication of bang chan’s actions in real life. please take it as fiction.

word count: 3.3 K

type: one shot.

⇥ disclaimer: this fiction does not represent the activities of the real Bang Chan, nor is associated with JYPE in any form. Events are pure fiction. ♡

↯ note: I decided to merge your request with the prompt because it’s angst and guess who’s the queen of angst? You !! 😌 This was picked up from ex, as you can see and again your url ~vibes~ so uwu hope you enjoy it, this is my first time writing angst tho so please go easy on me. <3 Love you mom <333  ⇥ dawn.☀️

The dance hall’s fairly crowded when you take another shot of your martini, drowning in its essence as you make a desperate attempt to disconnect yourself from your vicinity. You wanna believe you’re drunk, though it’s not true in the slightest — you can still feel, hear, see everything around you clearly — the alcohol’s clearly not having its effect today. You wish, oh so dearly wish it did, because the man standing about two tables away from you really doesn’t deserve the attention you’re giving him right now.

The last thing you’d expected when you entered the hall to attend your friend’s wedding was to stumble right into the one man you’d been trying to avoid for the past two months. At that very moment, you cursed all the odds for making you face the man of your nightmares, the one who broke your heart.

Bang Chan.

Sure enough, just like when he’d dropped the news on you, all the butterflies in your stomach drop dead one by one, gloom and desolation taking over. The mere sight of him is enough to send you into a frenzy of confusion — you feel the flutter in your heart to know that he’s doing okay, but you can also feel that pit of sadness, anger and heartbreak mixed to wash over as one of the most conflicting feelings ever.

“O-oh, hi there, Y/N.” Chan had waved a hand and bowed down, but you shakily nodded your head, not bothering to give him any words of acknowledgement as you stumbled into the hall. How is it that you didn’t notice him until half the wedding was over? How could you forget that he was supposed to attend, because he was the bride’s friend alike? 

Was it wrong that part of you still wished that you could be standing next to him, watching him as he introduced you to his friends, calling you “his girlfriend”?

You wondered what the look on Chan’s face would’ve been when you left his greeting hanging in the cold air like that. Was he broken on the inside too? Or did he simply not care? He’d been the one to end it, after all. He looks smart right now — adorning a luxurious black suit, his brownish hair slicked neatly to the side and parted. The delicate silver chain you’d given him on his birthday is oddly still on his neck — you promise yourself to not think about it much, because you know it’ll give you hope — and hope’s a dangerous feeling, at least for you.

When the music starts blaring through the speakers and the couple start dancing together, you sigh, straightening your posture from where you’re leaning against the shot table. Your friend has the prettiest smile plastered onto her face — it comes naturally to her, you figure, seeming as to how she’s married to the love of her life right now. They both seem lost — almost peaceful — as they stare into each other’s eyes. Soon, more and more couples join, until the whole hall is filled with everyone dancing on their heels, twirling and smiling and dancing gracefully. Everyone except you, of course.

You sigh, fixing the hem of your swan-white dress. Way to go for your mood to be ruined — all because you happened to stumble upon your ex boyfriend, and thoughts consumed you as a whole. Was it so wrong of you to wish that you could go back in time and change his decision? You’d moved on from this — you’d told yourself you’d moved on a month ago. You wiped him out of your memory — all the things that reminded you of him — but what if you’d only patched up the wound, not healed it in the slightest? What if the person who held the key to repair your broken heart was held by a person who you’d let go, and by all means, couldn’t reach out now?

So many what if’s. Who would give you those answers? He surely hadn’t, when all he did was just break it out to you over a meeting at the park that he’d fallen out of love with you. 

You never understood what happened. It just started with the less frequent messages and meet ups, the excuse of always being busy, and that slowly morphed into him ignoring you for days, until one day he broke the news and ended it, on good terms. Or at least you thought so.

You sigh again, asking the bartender to lend you one bottle of the drink — which he does without question — before you walk over to the staircase that seems to lead to the terrace. Away from the risk of your eyes landing on him and your thoughts going all over the place again. If only you could walk away from the pit of emotions in your heart the same way. If only.

When you kick the almost rusted door open, the fresh blast of cold air that hits you makes you sigh in relief. You tuck several strands of hair neatly behind your ear, walking to the edge as you glance at the view. Leaning against the concrete, you let the lights coming from the night cityscape blur your vision, along with the faint, distant echoing of horns coming from the roads fill your ears. It’s a distraction, after all.

You pop open the cork of the bottle, letting the fizz bubble down before pressing your lips against the rim. One gulp, two, you then gaze up at the night sky. Rinse and repeat, until the whole bottle is almost finished. You ignore the void in your heart, filling it with the essence of alcohol and ignoring the feelings bubbling in it right now. 

Chan was like a drug — so addicting and so hard to get rid of once you got into the habit of consuming it regularly. You wanted to reach out and hold onto those memories you shared with him — he was the first person where you let your heart do the talking, and all it took was a look at another person to change lanes, leave you alone in the dust of your crushed heart — only to come to the disappointing note that you’d lost those memories forever. They existed merely in a place you couldn’t reach, couldn’t see, but could only recall. It was pure torture to you, but you’d ignored it all for so long, certainly you could ignore it again.

“Need a refill?”

Your head snaps back in the direction of the voice. A familiar, one soothing voice that now brings pain to your heart, now threatens to bring back the wave of emotions you’d kept at bay. 

Your eyes meet the hazel brown orbs, and not diverting from their strong, fierce gaze; you scoff, turning back around to stare off into the distance. 

Chan frowns, tilting his chin as he tries to soothe the burn from your two reactions. He doesn’t back away though, because now he maybe understands what you felt like when it all fell apart, when he wrote your ending with a shaky hand.

He walks front to where you’re leaning against the concrete, silently drinking out of the glass he holds in his hand.

Should I say something? He thinks. He should, right? When you ended it, you did end on peaceful terms, even though your reaction felt like you were more affected by it. Even after three months, he still feels the warmth that flowed through him whenever he looks at you — you who clearly don’t want to speak to him. He feels crazy now, for wanting to let you go. 

You hadn’t even bothered to curse at him that day — just looked at him with eyes that honestly pierced through his soul, and hurt him more than any of your words could’ve. But maybe that was what he deserved, right?

“Why did you come here?” You ask, swirling the almost empty bottle in your hand. Oddly enough, you don’t feel like walking away, feet frozen in position. You’d ended it on good terms, didn’t you? You’d promised to each other you’d be good friends.

“I noticed you were alone.” The man feels himself say.

“Didn’t you bring your girlfriend along? Isn’t she alone right now?” You counter, taking another sip of your drink. Again, the alcohol is having no effect on you. Why did your tolerance have to be so high when you needed it to be low?

“I-” He takes a deep breath, tilting his head to either side to relieve the tension in his neck. “Broke up with her. About three weeks ago.”

You only chuckle. Somehow, your feelings are strong when he’s away, but when the cause is right in front of you, somehow they fail to make an appearance.

“Did you come here so you could win me back?” You ask, straightening up as you avoid Chan’s firm gaze on you, and his face goes gloomier and gloomier with every statement you spew at him. But then again, who could blame you for being angry? You had every right to.

“No.” He shook his head, fixing his position so his shoulders are about an inch away from yours. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m alright.” You say, softening at the edges at his concerned tone. You don’t know why you’re listening to him and not going back into the hall, but your legs are still frozen in place, something in you, your heart, doesn’t let you move.

Why do you feel like it’s your first time meeting him all over again?

He’s your ex, a part of your life you’re supposed to forget. Instead, you’re here, reminiscing it with the very person who left you in the first place. The situation you’re bound in is so weird — you almost don’t know what to do — but nonetheless, you just stand there, ignoring the slight flutter in your heart — just like the first time again.

“How are you doing?” You give yourself the liberty to ask him that question — just to know how he’s doing. Just another way for you to answer your countless what if’s, another method to try and fill the void in your heart.

Chan sighs, straightening up himself before looking at you. “I missed you.”

At the simple admission, you soften around the edges some more. It was wrong, so wrong that you were giving him to permission to get into your heart again — but what if you never wanted him to leave in the first place? 

Hope — the dangerous feeling — starts resonating through your chest. It’s the tiniest emotion, one you can’t quite sense, but still feel. You can feel yourself grow warm, feel his gaze burn into the side of your face as he awaits a reaction.

“I-I don’t know what to say to that.” You reply, tucking some of your hair behind your ear again, before curling it with your index finger. You don’t look into his eyes yet — you’re not so brave to do so — focusing your bored, almost sad gaze as you count all the lights flashing at you on a skyscraper. Anything to distract you from this feeling.

Chan notices your stare, and sighs again. He’s battling himself too, right now. Should I say it? He thinks.

“I-I’ll be honest and confess to you, okay?” Chan turns to face you properly, while you bite your lip, waiting for his next words. Oddly enough, you feel more nervous now than you felt that day when Chan ended it with you. It’s so weird to feel it all over again.

“I’ve missed you and… I truly regret what I did that day.” He runs his hands through his chocolate brown hair, which seems to look particularly soft today. It reminds you of when you’d casually back hug him when he was working, pecking the back of his neck as you’d comb your fingers through his hair. 

“Chan, no.” You feel your voice crack, the sadness overflowing out of its cup, spreading to all your senses as you close your eyes, letting out a single tear. 

“Y/N…” Chan places his hand on your shoulder. You don’t flinch.

“Y-You l-left me.” You feel your brain cloud over, having no control over yourself as the words start spilling out of your mouth, piercing Chan’s heart bit by bit. “Y-You l-left me when I thought you’d stay… And you left me alone.” You feel his thumb rub against the bare skin of your shoulder, and this time, you stare up, looking straight into his eyes.

“I loved you,” You stammer, inhaling deeply as you take note of Chan’s expression. Surprisingly, he’s crying too. The rims of his eyes are filled with tears, his whole face goes red as he tries not to violently sob. “I love you.” You correct yourself.

“But you left me. You left me when I thought all I had was you and - and, what? Three months later, you tell me you miss me? Is this because your girlfriend broke up with you? You wanna win me back?” You spew, slamming your hand against his chest as you shake in his arms. 

He wordlessly pulls you into his embrace, and you don’t complain — you don’t know if it’s because of your brain being cloudy and your eyes being all itchy from crying, or if it was because you missed his hugs, but you feel yourself clutch onto the material of your shirt as you cry, cry and cry until you feel like your tears don’t remain.

“I’m so sorry…” Is all he can say, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he tries to comfort you.

“I hate you, Chan. I hate you so much.”

Something in him shatters when he hears your words. He wordlessly mouths “Alright.” and doesn’t bother controlling his tears anymore, letting them flow down his cheeks and settle into your hair, not bothering to hold back the sounds of brokenness he makes either.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He pulls away, holding your chin to force your gaze into his eyes. “I shouldn’t have done that to you, it was so wrong of me. I regret it now, so much.” He curls his lips inwards, and watching him cry is soul-crushing. You should be hating him for leaving you, screaming, crying, but you hate yourself for reaching up to rake through his hair, sliding your hand down to his soft cheek before gently swiping your thumb against it. Wiping off his tears.

“We’ve already forgiven each other, right? It’s okay.” You take deep breaths to calm yourself down. Leaving him behind seems hard enough, but seeing him cry in front of you seems impossible. Are you still in love with him?

“I’m still sorry.” He mutters softly, gazing into your eyes as he takes hold of the hand that rests on his cheek. “I was so horrible to not know that I had you beside me all along, and instead I turned my back at you and left you. It was so wrong of me.” he breaks into tears again, and this time, before you can pull him into a hug, he grabs both your hands in his own. Holding them in between each other. 

Yep, you’re still in love with him.

You look at him, absorbing all his features, and suddenly you’re thrown back to the first time he ever asked you out. It seems all too familiar — all too real. You find yourself holding your breath once again, waiting for what he has to say. He rests his forehead against your grasped hands, sighing brokenly as he speaks up.

“I won’t ask you to accept me again, Y/N.” He says as a matter of fact. He understands that the things that happened may not allow you to let him into your heart again. “I won’t ask you to date me either, because I know what I did isn’t that simple to forgive.”

Chan feels so stupid now. You were there for him all the time, yet he left you for someone else. You were beside him to help him when he felt desolated, but somehow he became a cause for your desolation. It shocks, confuses him and makes him seethe in turmoil.

“But,” he begins, holding his breath. “I still want to try. I wanna try being the person I couldn’t be when I was with you. I-I wanna change and win you back, b-but…”

“But?” You ask mindlessly, totally overwhelmed and dazed out by his honest words, the newfound emotion thrums to your chest. It’s love, for sure. But it isn’t that special kind of love, at least not yet.

“But I wanna do that only if you let me. It’s your choice, Y/N.”

Your eyes widen as you try to grasp his words, noticing how his warm hands holding onto yours still, only grow warmer and tighter. 

“I r-really love you Y/N, a lot. And… well, I know you may not be able to make this decision soon. But please, just give it a thought?”

You shake your head, a soft smile tugging at your lips as you look up into his eyes again. They’re red and puffy by now, but they’re still gorgeous, they still remind you of the time you’d gently kiss over his eyelids whenever he cried like that.

You roll your eyes to the back of your head in deep thought, before tucking your bottom lip under your teeth and nodding. “Okay.”

“Okay…?” He asks, hopeful. You can almost feel his nervousness in the way his palms sweat, but you simply smile.

“We won’t date yet.” You said. “But I’ll allow you into my heart one last time. Don’t break it.”

And at your acceptance, Chan beams, feeling more tears roll down his eyes as he pulls you into a hug. This time, you don’t spare any restraint, wrapping your arms around your waist as you press your cheek against his chest. “Thank you, thank you, thank you…” Chan keeps mumbling and repeating, to which you only shush him gently, telling him it’s okay and he doesn’t have to thank him.

He still does. You only smile to yourself, and for the first time in three months, you feel somewhat at peace. There’s a long way to go — you have to adapt to this relationship, let your heart join back bit by bit and build each other’s confidence again. But you’re certain you can do it together. This story deserved a happy ending, and you were going to give it one, no matter how hard you’d have to try.

“Hey guys!” You hear someone walk through the door, immediately parting away and clearing your throats. 

“Yes?” The both of you say at the same time, tensing up and then laughing at each other. If Chan’s tears were crushing, Chan’s giggles were truly healing. The way his eyes would scrunch up into the cutest crescents and his dimples would make an appearance always made you want to peck his cheeks. Now wasn’t the time though.

“Dinner’s being served, so Y/F/N told you to come downstairs.” The person at the door says, immediately running downstairs, as if to not interrupt your moment any further.

“Alright.” You laugh, taking Chan’s hands in yours as you intertwine your nimble fingers with his long, slender ones. “Let’s go shall we?” You don’t bother picking up the alcohol bottles, because you’ll be coming back here with your friends later anyways — they can be tended to later.

“Of course,” Chan pulls you along with him, running to the door — both the ones that lead to the diner and the ones that signified your new start.

Curse at me all you want, as long as you let it all out, and we can go back to how we were.

*:･ﾟ✧ find the other fics here !

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

[k1nky-fool]

Hello again, dearie

2, 3, 4, 8, 13, 14, 15, The least sane moments

1, 8, 13, 14, 15, Fuck around and find out

Hi babes! I am so sorry this took forever! As I said yesterday, I vastly overestimated my ability to fight off motion sickness on the road trip (I have now learned of a magic thing called dramamine), and being a tourist in DC for the week is definitely keeping me busy doing a bunch of cool stuff. But I loved all of these questions, and I'm always open to more.

Least Sane Moments

2: What scene did you first put down?

We all know the fanfic author's struggle with having one scene in mind and being obsessed with just that one scene, and we write an entire fic around that one scene. I'm pleased to say that Least Sane Moments started with just one, and has evolved into giving me many that keep me going with the story.

That first scene that I got obsessed with was that sparring scene in Part 2. I love writing sparring in general, because it's a great catalyst for tension. Oddly enough, that scene was supposed to be an avenue for sexual tension, but when I got to it, I ended up writing that angsty, emotional tension, and I liked it a lot more. It felt more natural for the characters, particularly Mita.

From there, I got fixated on Mita and Grayson's talk in Part 3, along with the introduction of the five eyed creature. Then you can probably tell the next was Mita telling Vander who the five eyed is. And I have a few more that I am obsessed with. One of them is in the next chapter.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

Her words lifted a painful burden off of him, even if it was only a small piece of everything that weighed him down, it was enough to give him hope again.

I mention Mita's perspective most often, but this one really stuck with me. This was after Mita said she forgives Vander for the mess of the attack on the bridge. We know he sees it as one of his greatest failures, and I imagine he never expected to be forgiven for it. But after everything Vander has done to provide comfort for Mita, this is really the first time we see her realizing he needs comfort from her, and she gives it without question, knowing what that attack did, and forgiving him for the chaos it caused in her own life.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Now forgive me, but my favorite line of dialogue is from Part 5 that I have yet to finish. I'll give it to you as a little sneak peak.

"I owe you a rematch, creature; I don't owe you my fear."

I think it's badass in context, and I hope a couple people think so too. Vander gives Mita courage to do things she wouldn't otherwise have the courage to do. Most of the time, its vulnerability, here it's spitting in the face of someone she has been scared of her whole life.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

I've mentioned that a lot of aspects of Mita were greatly inspired by Asajj Ventress from Star Wars: The Clone Wars and that is a fictional character, but most of her characterization is self-insert. I know I have trust issues, but for Mita I did dial it up to 100. That being said, I paired her with a character that would be very easy to trust, and would be very patient with her.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Fun fact: I have specific songs that remind me of all my OCs and stories. Pepper is the easiest to find songs for. However, for some reason, finding songs for Mita is so fucking hard for me.

The funniest thing is that I haven't found a single song that reminds me of her that isn't by Imagine Dragons.

Friction by Imagine Dragons

Natural by Imagine Dragons

Enemy by Imagine Dragons (that's a cheap shot tho)

Believer by Imagine Dragons

I am begging for any other song suggestions if anyone has any, I can't have all my Mita songs being by the same default band for this show.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I hope people can get the message that fear is to be expected, even for the strongest of people. Mita is the stone cold, assassin type, but even she fears what has hurt her. I also hope that other people can see the difference between being cautious of harm and self-sabotage by self-isolation. Mita is a character that struggles with being vulnerable because of the pain she's experienced, yet there are always people that are truly willing to give her a safe space to be vulnerable. When you have that space, you're allowed to use it.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

Honestly, most of what I've learned from writing this is about my own writing process. Ngl, when I started this fic, I didn't have a full outline. I just had the ideas and started writing what I wanted to, finding the story along the way. And now that I have a full outline, I like how I did this. It's fun to write, and I think that's what's most important when posting fic.

Fuck Around and Find Out

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

This was yet another fic that I just started writing because I wanted to. But a lot of my inspiration for this fic came from @gaybybirth and her fic A Theory. I was inspired by her writing, particularly in the way she writes Viktor, and I went for a similar vibe with him in my fic.

But writing Devo the way I do, was a change of pace. She was definitely different from most other OCs I write. She doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, but she's also not cold and calculating. Devo is definitely the type to bottle up her emotions until eruption, and I definitely identify with that trait as well, but I definitely made Devo a bit more timid than myself.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

So, some of my followers may know because they read my blog bio, but I am actually only one alter in a system. We have a dissociative disorder, and we are completely different people.

Devo's personality is based on one of the alters in the system, and I do regularly consult her for some responses and a different alter has a special interest in astronomy and he will also weigh in on the more scientific aspects of the fic. That being said, we are still fairly amateur, and we do make mistakes.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I don't have many songs for Devo, because many of the songs I listen to for her aren't just to get in the mood to write her. I do have a few tho

Curses by The Crane Wives

Do I Wanna Know by The Arctic Monkeys

Royals by Lorde

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I have several scenes of Devo's journey in processing trauma, and I try to do it as respectfully as possible, especially considering that I myself have certain traumas that Devo works through. I hope people can learn that progress isn't linear, and even the strongest of survivors have terrible days.

However, the lesson that I make the overarching theme in the story is what a different version of love looks like. Both Viktor and Devo are people who love their work. I especially wanted to show what that kind of love looks like, when two people love each other, and neither of them are competing with the other's passion for the other's studies. I don't think there's any shame in being 2nd place to someone's passion. If you have an issue with being 2nd place in someone's attention, then it's ok to admit that relationship isn't for you. But I also want to show what it looks like when 2nd place is treated in a healthy way.

I originally hated part 3 when I posted it, but one conversation in it has definitely stuck out to me as the entire theme of the story of Viktor and Devo's relationship and in the plot in general.

"It is rare that I find someone who places their studies in priority over personal interests." He said, picking up the second volume to check the calculations. "I do it, myself, but it is not often that I find someone that might understand that priority."

Devo chuckled, going back to her telescope and writing notes. "I take it your past relationships tend to fail when your partner finds out they're not the reason you wake up in the morning."

It's ok to find love in 2nd place.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

As I mentioned earlier, this fic definitely has its therapeutic uses for me. But the one thing I have definitely learned about myself in this fic is that I have often had problems with perfectionism. I have an unhealthy habit of tossing out good and fun work when I don't like the end result.

And particularly in the case of part 3, I learned that in possibly the best way possible. I hated part 3 when I posted it. It felt so rushed and I really just wanted to get to the cool stuff in part 4. I even posted 4 not even a full hour after 3, because I just wanted it to fly under the radar. But what I missed in my own writing were some of the best developments in my characters. Some people have even told me that 3 was their favorite so far.

I learned that I don't have to be perfect. I write for my own enjoyment, but I post it for everyone else to enjoy it with me. And a lot of the time, they will disagree with me on what the best parts are or who the best character is. I don't need to stress about everything being perfect in my own eyes, because when I make good work, it's possible for someone to disagree with me. And I found that very comforting, especially in my writing process.

[sirimirihiro]

Hey Again I am so sorry about not getting the ask done. After writing things like 4 times only to have it deleted you lose the will:/ but I wont let that keep me from requesting so, could I request Bakugou,Kirishima,Shinsou,Todoroki and Shigaraki whos in the support course and ends up in the hospital in an accident there(nothn to bad happens tho) (for shigaraki mabye she just comes back a day later than she should have and tells him If that makes writing him eaiser) thank you love ur writing uwu

Hi again! Don’t worry about it, I get your pain. I’m very sorry that this is at late as it is.

Hope you enjoy the headcanons!

————-

Bakugō Katsuki:

- Bakugō had been on his usual way to pick them up from class, having to just go the way that he would usually go when having to navigate his way to class. Students throwing a glance on him was usually met with cold or angry looks in return.

- But that wasn’t the point of his trip. The extras just needed to get out of the way. The quicker that he could get to his s/o, the quicker they could get out of this school.

- There was just one problem. One rather problematic problem, which was answered by an student, mostly out of fear when Bakugō had come up and asked in such a scary manner.

- The last that the teacher had said was that [Name] was in the hospital and had been since the middle of the day, due to burning their hand during home ec.

- That idiot. The whole time that he was heading there, he kept muttering to himself. Spiraling from thinking how stupid [Name] could be, whilst he hurried up.

- When shown to where his s/o was, the first reaction wasn’t exactly the best one. Even yelling involved, making just everyone around the question what in the world was happening.

- But, at the end of the day, he was glad that they seemed okay. Following them home, he made sure not to hold their injured hand. He couldn’t stay mad at them, in the end.

Kirishima Eijirō:

- The moment that he heard the news, Kirishima wasn’t sure what to think or to react. How do you, when you hear something just like that? The only thing he was sure of in that moment was to get to them. Make sure that they were alright.

- It was lucky that his s/o hadn’t gotten hurt too badly. With a villain having crashed a building in a fight, whilst they had to go and collect some groceries for their dorm room. Merely having escaped with a few scratches and bruises from the fall. No one had gotten hurt, luckily. With the villainbeing caught almost after that, too.

- When Eijirō saw them sitting on the hospital bed, getting some of the last parts checked of them, he couldn’t help but to run over and embrace them. Grip secure around their body, a few hitched breaths leaving him. It enough to surprise s/o a bit here.

- As much as he didn’t want his mind to go back to those old tendencies, Kirishima just can’t help but to think that this was his fault. If he had just been there, maybe they wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Wouldn’t have had to experience that. But, rest to sure, of course his s/o was going to tell him that he shouldn’t be worrying over that.

- Will 100% bring them something to eat and to come over to his place afterwards for some cuddles to calm the nerves with. For the both of them, really. He makes sure to get their favorites and that they feel comfortable. Willing to listen if they want to talk about it.

- If Kirishima admits to how he feels about it, you know that his s/o will praise him and tell him otherwise. To where he can’t help but feel his face start to get red and to smile at how sweet they really are.

- " I have the manliest hero here with me, so I’m okay. Right? "

Shinsō Hitoshi:

- Being in the general class and it laying sort of close to the support course, they would often end up running into his lovely s/o. Even without pda, Shinsō still liked it whenever that he noticed them pass each other.

- Execpt for today, he hadn’t even managed to catch a glimpse of them. Even during lunch, they weren’t by their usual spot, where they would wait for him so that they could head to lunch together. If that wasn’t the strangest part, then it must’ve really been the silence of his phone. Not vibrating from the usual texts Shinsō would get throughout of his day.

- That was why he was going to get to the bottom of this. Now, waiting for students to thin out in their class, where he maybe could manage to catch the homeroom teacher before she left, to ask about his s/o.

- When he actually managed to come and ask, what he was left with was more worrying than what he would’ve expected. Apparently, due to having splinters stuck in their hands due to having to work on some uncarved tree stump for a project, they had to take to the hospital.

- Having been allowed to leave by now and gotten the name of the nearby hospital that they were staying in, Shinsō quickly headed off to see his s/o. If it had been awhile since they went there, it was probably cleared by now.

- Fate must’ve had it’s way, because when he was halfway there, he suddenly came face to face with [Name], who was all fixed and now wearing bandages on their palms. Just seeing they were alright made him all better again.

- During the whole walk back again to the dorm rooms at campus, he was the one that held their bag. Even if [Name] had to remind him that it wasn’t their shoulder that were hurt, he just couldn’t help it. Hitoshi felt better in their company.

Todoroki Shoto:

- When class had finished for the day and he got a chance to check his phone, Tododoki couldn’t help but to stop and notice a few calls from them that had been sent throughout the day.

- To say that he was confused was an understatement. The pair was more of a texting couple, so to see all of this.. As He was heading out, Tododoki wrote to them and asked what was the matter.

- With the chat going back and forth for awhile, it was first when he received one response that made him stop in his tracks. 'Can you pick me up from hospital?'

- The screen seemed so bright when he read it over multiple times, shutting and showing it into his pocket, before heading along of the hallway with hurried steps. The echoes seeming louder when he was just himself.

- It might’ve been stupid to worry about, since their school and the neighborhood here were relatively safe, but he wasn’t going to take any chance when he came to the one that he loved. The one who seemed to be able to cheer him up, even with the most cliche jokes that came to them.

- Once he had been allowed by Aizawa and practically ran there, Shoto asked the staff about them, before following along. Finding his beloved sitting on a chair, with only bandages around of him, he felt himself ease down.

- Apparently, according to [Name], they had only ended up tripping over a couple of steps during a trip to the grocery store, because they needed something for their class. Even though Tododoki had calmed down about that since, he still seems to hold their hand more whenever they reached a pair of stairs now.

Shigaraki Tomura:

- Shigaraki wasn’t one to worry over these things. He had grown so used to sending out people, wether it would be someone that he knew well or would be set out on a test. So why, oh why, was he suddenly feeling weird when he hadn’t heard a reply from them?

- It was first when the main door to their base was opened, with the familiar tug on the feet, that his back straightedges out again and that the scratches at his own neck stopped again, almost in disbelief. But if it was Dabi again, doing that just to make him get his hopes up, he’ll swo—

- " Tomura-san? Erh, sorry about that. Hospital waiting time took forever. "

- This man just stared, not even sure if he could believe in hearing something like that. Like, when the love of his life had just walked in to admit that they got themselves hurt by one of missions that he had sent them out on that would have really only taken an hour but now at least over a day - - Wait, no. That was what this was.

- He didn’t admit to it, till they showed their gazed fingers, having been accidentally caused by a hero that almost caught them. Shigaraki could absolutely feel his blood start to boil over, only having his s/o to stop him here in this empty bar from going on a murder spree.

- If they could make him relax for a moment and explain that they were fine, he would feel a bit more calm. Despite of the bright and clear anger that shone in his scratched eyes. It was even more the reason why he despised villains and didn’t want anything but to destroy.

- Except for [Name]. [Name] was one of the only things that didn’t count in that. And maybe some of the others, if he really admitted to it. Cause who would destroy, a thing that they held most dear to them?

[hitsuackerman]

What in the World? (Akaashi Keiji x Reader) pt.14

a​/n: and yes! i managed to write this chapter! hopefully i can still insert it to my schedule to finish the and add advance chapters :) i hope all of you like this chapter! 

Akaashi’s lineup: @alluring-akaashi @oikawalmart-hq @extrasugafree @bbykiyoomi @apricotjihyo @awings @simpformiya @sayakaaaaaa @colorseeingchick @demursv1ogs​ @chrisrue15 @beanst0ck  @parttime-simp​  @kit-kat428​ @ntimacy​ @something-that-idk (i have no idea why i can’t tag some of you :( huhu )

links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 15

The walk back to your homes was silent. Fingers tightly intertwined with no space left. Each labored breath taken was painful. None of you dared to break the silence. Footsteps and occasional cars honking were all you two could hear. The usual 20 minute walk felt like an hour.

Now standing in the middle of your houses, you finally craned your neck and stared into the sadness his dark blue eyes held. Knowing this was something you would never forget, you tore your gaze and looked at your trembling hands. Akaashi had kept his mouth shut despite your knuckles paling from your grasp.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes, yeah?” You spoke up. Voice cracking as your eyes began to water.

“You can come in via the front door. It’s fine.” His hand held on tighter than before.

“I’d like to stay longer…” A small smile managed to form on your lips despite the corners of your eyes sinking. “I’m not going anywhere, Keiji.”

“What if you will and I’m not there?” His brows furrowed. Somehow those words escaped his mouth before he could think. Gritting his teeth, his shoulders tensed as his arm quivered. He didn’t dare blink if it meant savoring the sight of you.

How you hated the world, no, the universe for bringing your friends into this peaceful world. That sentence was something you would never say but the feeling of being pulled back forcefully was horrifying. Sure, you were given a deadline of 5 days but having created such wonderful memories and bonds from scratch… Only to lose it all with on certainty of seeing their warm smiles was dreadful.

“Okay.” You took steps forward and dragged him towards his house. “If it’ll ease your soul, I’ll enter the house through my window. You can come as well and help me pack my stuff.”

“Pack?” He stopped walking. His heart probably would’ve stopped beating if it wasn’t for that forced giggle that escaped your mouth.

“I’ll be staying the night and I wanna put my things in your closet.”

“Oh.” His shoulders relaxed and he unlocked the doors. Luckily his parents weren’t home and led you straight to his bedroom. Sliding his windows open, he checked if there were any people on the opposite street, convinced that no one was around, he turned to you. “Coast is clear.”

“You’ve never crossed the bridge~” You sat on the ledge, ready to walk on air. “It’s stable so no need to freak out. It’ll feel weird tho.”

Quickly crossing, you opened your windows and entered your room, watching your boyfriend cautiously stepping onto the invisible bridge was too cute. Grabbing your phone, you recorded the whole ordeal till he was bending down to enter the household.

“How was it?” You ruffled his hair. He leaned down a bit so you could get easier access. By now he was inside your room.

“Not the best feeling but I can get used to it.” He followed you to your bed and sat down. “(y/n)?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have any idea how they got here?”

“Based on what Midoriya told me, a bunch of machines are regulating their bodies and that his quirk is sustaining both of them. I have no idea how it works but…” Letting out an exhale, you stood up and grabbed a small bag. Chewing on your inner lip, you could feel your shoulders trembling as breathing became painful. “5 days.”

Wind knocked out from his lungs, Akaashi silently watched as you began to pack your stuff. Even if he did manage to think of something, he knew too well that the situation was nothing but one sided. Standing up, he silently went down on his knees and hugged you from behind.

“I know I can’t do anything.” He began, tightening his hold as he felt your tears soaking his sleeve. “I’m nothing compared to them. I have no quirk, I have no control over this situation. However, it would kill me if I wouldn’t let you hear it.”

“Please don’t.” It was barely audible but the shakiness of your voice, the tears spilling down your cheeks, the unwanted pressure in your chest was more than you could take.

“Please don’t leave me.” Akaashi whispered. His head resting on your shoulders. His grip tight around your quivering body. He barely cries. He rarely shows any emotion. Yet this one was a punch to the gut. One that would forever leave a bruise.

In less than a second, you turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck. Rubbing circles on his back. Using your quirk, you managed to calm him down. Though for sure his thoughts were running wild, this was the best you could do. Not even your hero studies taught you what to say during times like these.

The hours ticked by and you found yourself about to cross the bridge. Akaashi leaning on the window sill, ready to lend a helping hand. Just as you were about to step out, a knock on your door broke the silence. Snapping your head to the direction of the sound, you let out a small curse before telling Akaashi to give you a minute.

“Mom?” You opened the door and found your mother. The look of confusion written on her face. Almost as if she were hesitant. “What’s up?”

“You have visitors…”

“Is it a blonde and a green haired boy?”

“Oh~ You guessed it right~” Before you could step out of your room, she blocked you. “Do you want me to send them home or…?”

“It’s fine. They won’t stay long.”

Going down the stairs, you saw the two boys sitting in the living room. Safe distance for them not to fight with each other. When they heard your footsteps, both of them looked your way and bowed to greet your mother as well.

“Oi. Let’s talk outside.” Bakugo said as he walked past you. Deku trailing behind him.

Standing on the dimly lit streets, you waited for any of them to start talking. Even if you were the one to start, you weren’t exactly sure what to say at this point in time.

“Break up with him.” Bakugo immediately said before Deku could open his mouth.

“No.” Stern.

“You don’t get it do you?” He waved an arm around the surroundings. “D’you even think this is all real? Do you think that maybe the world you’ve been living in for the past 7 months was your mind's own effort to create some sort of paradise? It’s fucked up how you would rather stay in this shitty scenario and give up what you’ve been training for.”

“To be honest, I can’t and don’t even have an adequate rebuttal for your statement.” Clenching your fists, you inhaled shakily. “But, all of this… I’m sure it is all but real. Not even my own quirk is capable of creating something this fast and diverse.”

Taking a step forward, Deku quickly grabbed Bakugo.

“Kacchan! Don’t…” He mumbled something low enough for you not to hear.

“Shut the fuck up Deku. If she can’t see what’s going on over on our side, then I’ll have to beat some sense into her.” Pushing Deku away, he saw how you were now in defense mode. It had been awhile since the two of you duelled. Taking into consideration that his quirk was reduced to nothing in this world, Bakugo held enough confidence to know he would rub his point till you would agree.

Charging towards you, Bakugo swung his fist to which you managed to dodge. His face met your elbow before he immediately recovered and hit your head. Hard.

With your ears ringing, you let go of him and tried to regain your balance. The pain of his head colliding with yours should’ve felt like nothing, yet this one was different. Falling to the ground, you stared at the two men standing in front of you.

Shutting your eyes to rid the pain, you opened it only to find white walls. Looking around, your eyes caught hold of heterochromatic eyes. Ones that held desperation and shock at the moment before him.

“(y/n)...?”

“Sh-Sho-” You could barely speak. Your throat felt even drier than the Sahara Desert.

Blinking once more, the white walls were replaced with a blurry vision of your unwanted visitors.

Again, you blinked and found yourself surrounded by your classmates from 2-A. The world was spinning but you caught a glimpse of two capsules. Two sleeping bodies connected to a bunch of tubes were inside. Black energy circulating some sort of tank beside them.

Their voices were now mumbled and all you could hear were fast beeping sounds from the heart monitor machine.

“Give. Her. Some. Space.” Recovery Girl spoke up. Her small figure swinging her large syringe. Grabbing a penlight, she checked your pupils and found them dilated. Taking a quick look at your monitor, she reduced that you were under an immense amount of stress. Looking at the two boys inside the capsule, the way their bodies were twitching also indicated that things were not going well.

Reaching for the Diazepam shot, Recovery Girl stuck the needle onto your lymph nodes. Just as the last dose was administered, she watched as your heart rate went back to normal and tears to run down your eyes.

The final blink and you were curled on the cement road. Down on all fours as your shoulders trembled.

“Oi.”

“(y/n)-chan?”

“Stop…” You stood up, only to lose balance. Quick to his feet, Deku caught you before you could hit the ground. Clutching tightly on to his shirt, you buried his face onto his chest and silently cried.

“If it isn’t a bother…” The two boys looked up and saw Akaashi. His blue-gray eyes intensely staring at them despite the clear evidence of pain. “I’d like to spend time with her before you take her.”

“Hold the fuck up.” Bakugo spoke up. “You know she’s not from here?”

“I’ve known for a while now.”

“If you’ve known then why don’t you just give her back to us? She doesn’t belong here and-”

“She may not belong here but she’s created a home. It may not be me or her mother, but the smiles she has shared with all of us are as true as your world.” Your crying had stopped and his gaze now focused on you. “I’m not persuading either of you to leave her alone or to stay here, but if you give this world a chance, then perhaps you’ll see why she’s reacting in such a way.”

“And what would you know, extra? You’re quirkless and can’t grasp how much of an important part it is for us.”

“So what if I’m quirkless? If I were born into your world, I would have been part of that population who were less fortunate.” Akaashi walked towards Deku and carefully extended his hand. You immediately received it. “But that wouldn’t mean my life is ruined. It just means I have to find other means to adapt.”

“Akaashi…” You tried to console him but he merely gave you the softest and most sincere smile you’ve ever seen him give. One that made Deku and Bakugo’s jaw drop.

“My time with her is as limited as can be. So please,” Taking one step away from you, Akaashi lowered his body and bowed to the two men. “Just let her spend time with her friends and family.”

“Akaashi-san!” Deku panicked. Waving his palms desperately. “Please lift your head.”

“Oi. Other world boy.” Bakugo spoke up once more. His eyes studying the person who had just bowed to him and gave a speech. “Why fight? Why pursue someone who's literally beyond your reach and would only cause nothing but pain and trouble.”

He let out a sigh and intertwined his fingers with yours.

“Because it’s her.”

“That’s it?” Bakugo’s voice was slow and controlled.

“There’s nothing more to it.”

With nothing more to ask, Bakugo grabbed Deku by the collar and walked away. Leaving the both of you alone. Looking over his shoulder, he watched as Akaashi pulled you into a tight hug, one where you did not hesitate to return.

“Kacchan… Did you hear what he said?” Deku thought out loud.

“I’m not deaf dumbass.”

“That’s not what I meant. I was just wondering. If all of this is a product of (y/n)’s quirk, those words that came out of Akaashi-san’s mouth was… odd.” His thumb and index finger resting on his chin. “I don’t think that’s something she would think about.”

“What’re you saying? You actually believe that this place we’re in is real and not a product of her body induced in drugs?”

“Hear me out…”

- - - - -

a/n: so i feel as though theres a scene that might confuse you guys... pls do send me an ask or leave a comment if you have any questions :) ill gladly answer them!

anddd feel free to follow me on twitter :) 

[because-icanhide]

Back (Jason Todd x Reader)

Word count: 1,085

A/n: Hi. So this isn’t my first writing, but is my first time posting on here. I finished this quickly for @psychovigilantewrites in honor of getting part 3 out. Heres something for you. I also didn’t really edit this and put everything I wanted to put into it cause i didn’t want to put all my energy into something no one would like or read so please tell me what you guys think and I’ll probably rewrite this later. I also have four more longer things I’m working on. sorry no smut this time

Edit: fuck me there’s a part where I was going to add more so I quickly wrote something in to come back to its please just ignore it.

uhh this is very based off of Taylor Swifts “Back to December”. You don’t need to listen to the song tho.

Trigger warnings I guess: Break up, missing someone, awkwardness 

...

You sat in the back of a cafe and waited for him. You let your knee bounce out of nervousness. You kept checking your watch, then the clock on the wall, thinking they would be different. Gotham was a lot gloomier than you remember. Maybe living in Metropolis changed your perspective.

This same spot, he would wait for you. He would usually have a book. You never knew how long he waited for you, but you knew he would be there. He knew your order by heart, but never ordered for you because you were often late. It was the most time you got together due to your conflicting schedules, but you didn’t mind because he was always there.

  Someone sitting across from you pulled you from your thoughts. He wore that familiar red hoodie. It was damp due to the rain. He had new scars on his face and hands. Probably more on other parts of his body, but you couldn’t see. His nose looked like it had been broken and reset a few more times than you remember. His eyes were still as blue as ever.

“Y/n? You there?” He waved his hand slightly. In front of my face. You blinked a few times.

“Yes, sorry. It’s just been a while. You look good.” You said sincerely.

“You do too.” He looked at his hands. The awkwardness made you want to crawl in a hole and die. You took a deep breath.

“I waited for you to order. I can go do that now.” You started to stand up and grabbed your wallet.

“No, I got it.” He stood up, making things so much more awkward.

“Uh, are you sure? I can get it.” You gestured to the counter.

“Yeah, I have Bruce’s card. Trying to put a dent in his bank account, see if he notices.” He held up the card. A smile made its way onto your lips.

“You’re still doing that?”

“Well yeah, gotta get payback somehow.” He walked over to the counter. You sat back down and watched him order. You were pretty sure he got a buffer, but it was hard to tell through his hoodie. Remember him working out and how fucking hot it was. Watching the movement of his muscles as he did push-ups. Watching the sweat roll down his chest and over his abs. You practically jumped his bones everytime you saw him workout. He had to stop working out with you around just so he could get stuff done.

He walked back over with our drinks. You mumbled thanks and looked down at it. A smile made its way onto your lips when you realized he remembered your order. You decide not to say anything, so he didn’t get nervous.

“So uh, how is Bruce and the others? I feel like I haven’ seen them in forever” You take a sip of your drink and look at him.

“They’re good. Bruce is a pain in my ass like always. Alfred is well, Alfred. Although he hasn’t failed to mention how he misses you. They all have. Especially the demon spawn. I think he had a crush on you.” He avoided eye contact with you. You smiled, trying to look past it.

“Oh, he definitely did. Girls can always tell.” You joked. He nodded softly. You looked down. You could tell his guard was up, and you didn’t blame him. You were surprised he even agreed to meet with you honestly. Things ended badly, and it was on you, you felt.

“It’s rainier here than Metropolis. I didn’t miss that.” You pointed out.

“You get used to it.” He simply said.

“I know… I used to live here. Remember? We used to sleep in the same bed.”

“Right.” he nodded. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine. How have you been? How’s… work?” You ask nervously. He shifted uncomfortably and looked away. He didn’t respond. You hit a nerve. You shouldn’t have brought up his work. You started to panic at his lack of response. Of course, you shouldn’t have brought it up. It’s the main reason you left him.

You couldn’t handle the vigilante life. Him coming home later than usual, thinking he was dead. Him coming back hurt. Being in constant danger because you were dating the Redhood. Him leaving to go on missions and not contacting you for days. Weeks sometimes. His past coming back to haunt you. Besides his alter ego, he was good to you. He did nothing but love and take care of you. Which is why he didn’t understand why you left. Everyone else in his life was okay with it, but you weren’t.

But after you left and moved away from Gotham. You would stay up and think about it. How none of it mattered. All that mattered was that you missed him. You two were good too and with each other. You stayed up at night and thought about how you wished you could go back and change your mind. You wished you stayed. You didn’t care about him being the Redhood. You just wanted him back.

“I’m really sorry how things went down that night… I-” You sighed and looked away. “I think about that night a lot. I wish things didn’t end the way they did. I wish things didn’t end at all, actually…” You bit your lip and looked up at him sheepishly. He was staring at his coffee. It was hard to read him, but you could tell he didn’t want to be there because that’s exactly how you felt.

Even though everything in your body was telling you to bolt, you decided to continue. “I miss you, and honestly, maybe I’m completely out of my mind for even entertaining this thought, but if we loved again, I swear I’d love you right. I’d go back in time and change it, but I can’t. If the chain is on your door, I understand, But this is me swallowing my pride, sitting in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night. It turns out freedom ain’t nothing, but missing you, Wishing I’d realize what I had when you were mine. I’d go back, turn around and make it alright. I’d go back, turn around and change my own mind.” Your words flooded out of you like they’ve been sitting there on the surface just waiting to be said, but only to him.

You inhaled sharply and sat up straight. Waiting for some sort of response. Waiting for his rejection to hit you like a bullet. You made eye contact with him. He looked like he was in shock. You couldn’t read him. You didn’t know what he was thinking. It terrified you. You scanned his face and his body language. You watch his lips part as he starts to finally speak.